#i have no judgement thoughts or opinions i am finally FREE
Text
If You Don't Want the Truth, then Don't Ask
Oscar Piastri x Autistic!Reader
Genre: fluff
Request: kinda...? People want more of this content, so who am I to deny them? My requests are open! Please don't hesitate to send me ideas!
Summary: One thing that Oscar loves most about her is that she's always honest. Unfortunately, it seems not everyone has learned that.
Warnings: Media being toxic, the reader gets frustrated at not understanding human behavior
Notes: written in third person
Masterlist
Oscar had fallen in love with her honesty. He never had to guess at her opinions on things or dance around subjects himself.
It was a reprieve from always being coached in media to finally not having to filter himself.
Anyone who had gotten close to her knew one rule she had: if you don't want an honest answer, then don't ask.
She struggles communicating with vocal tones. People often mistake her opinion for being judgemental. It makes her feel unable to speak up for herself. It was never her intention to cause problems. She was just saying her truth.
Emotional communication is even more difficult. She always manages to say the wrong thing. Oscar didn't believe this and felt comforted when she talked him through the truth of the day. But if she was struggling with words and emotions, she opted to communicate via physical touch.
She'd developed a code for human behaviors she didn't quite understand.
When charles was upset about a race, she hugged him. When Oscar was smiling, she kissed his cheek. When Max was being lectured by his father, she stuck her middle finger up at Jos. When Lando couldn't eat his food, she gave him one of her snacks that he also liked.
It became more natural to the grid the more she did these things.
Unfortunately for the fans and the media, they hadn't figured it out. It was ridiculous in everyone's minds how they never learned their lesson.
A picture started circling the internet once of her kissing Lando's cheek after an amazing race. She knew it was a happy moment but was too overwhelmed to deal with words. Oscar knew she did this to anyone she was comfortable with and knew she was loyal. She'd expressed repeatedly why she loved him and not Lando. Oscar only laughed as she went down her very pointed list of reasons why Oscar was better. Earning a pout from the Brit.
The fans started calling her all sorts of nasty names. It hurt her a little, but Oscar even more. He'd expressed multiple times to his fans not to involve her in drama.
Race weekend got a bit awkward. Journalists wanted to ask the two questions. Oscar was quick to deny them attention and left for free practice.
The nerospicy femal, however, was not as lucky. Somone found her hiding in the garage.
"Are you aware of the photo going around social media right now?" The female reporter asked her.
She hesitated for a moment, trying to find her voice. "Yes." The reporter waited a minute for her to elaborate only to receive silence.
She clears her throat. "Do you have any thoughts about it? Are the rumors true?"
She stares again for a moment. "I think you people are bored and want to pick apart someone else's life instead of your own."
It was the reporters turn to stay in silence. "That may be true for some." She fumbles. "But the concern of the fans is that you'll have a negative effect on the McLaren racing drivers."
"I think the fans you speak of are niave then. Not every human being is the same. I'm in love with Oscar, not Lando, as simple as that. Just because my affection looks different doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong." The girl shrugs her shoulders. Simply stating a fact of herself.
The reporter leaves in silence. No other words were shared between them.
Oscar saw the article the next day. They were getting ready to head to the track for FP3 and qualifying. "Have you seen this article?" He asked.
"No, what article?" Oscar flips his phone to her. The reporter from yesterday had written an article about their conversation. Interestingly enough, it was exactly what she had said. The journalist was impressed with her honesty and approach to toxic rumors.
Oscar kissed her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."
~
The next time it happened was during an interview in the fan zone. She'd been standing off to the side with the other McLaren staff who follow them around. She likes listening to the fans ask the boys questions.
Then a fan asked a question about her. "Oscar, why is your girlfriend mean to the reporters?"
Both Oscar and Lando rolled their eyes. "She's here right now if you want an honest answer." Oscar smirked.
It was terrifying when Oscar and Lando were waving her up to the stage. She waited for the approval of the staff and security before exchanging seats with the Australian.
He looked so please she was up there. "The fans want to know why you're so 'mean' to the reporters, as they put it." The two boys were laughing hysterically now.
"I personally don't think it's mean. If they don't want an honest answer, then they shouldn't be asking questions." She shrugged. "Is there a specific time you're referring too?"
"When the vouge journalists asked if you were hiding something because you wear loose clothing."
Lando perked up instantly. "This is one of my favorite moments. We went out and got her favorite dinner after this to celebrate."
"Firtly, the reporter had no business asking that. I don't like it when my clothes feel weird and I was already overwhelmed so I wore what I thought was comfortable." Oscar put his arm around her. A hint of pride edging its way across his features. "Secondly, the didn't put the whole story. The reporter asked if I was pregnant, and then when I said no, he proceeded to ask me if I was wearing anything underneath."
"The comeback is the best part."
"I was confused why he asked me this, so I asked if he had anything underneath the hideous mask he was wearing. Then he called me rude." She frowned, but the fans were enjoying the story.
Oscar glances at Lando. "You should tell the next part."
Lando is still chuckling from the last statement. "I was coming around the corner and heard her say that, then I couldn't stop laughing. So obviously I joined in as well."
The other two were shaking their heads at Lando in exasperation as he continued. "When I came up next to her, she asked why he would ask something like that. It's a pretty common question between us, so I explained why he did it and why he shouldn't do it."
"Then he insulted him some more."
Oscar finishes out the story and also laughs at this point. "Most of the things in the article were what Lando said. The others were what she did say. Including asking if this was his way of flirting and turned him down on his advances."
She always missed social cues, and she'd heard some of the drivers flirt by asking what someone had on underneath their clothing. It was a genuine assumption.
Oscar found it most amusing as Lando recounted the story for the first time that evening. She had looked mildly dazed, frustrated, and confused. Oscar took the time, in between laughing, to explain some of the nuances she didn't understand. Including why they were laughing so hard.
~
Next came a conversation with Zak.
The boys were doing media things, so he'd started to try and make conversation with her.
He was a person who did not understand that she's autistic and communicates different then he was expecting. Normally, Oscar or Lando was here to help things flow, but now she was going to need to swim on her own.
"Have you been enjoying Monaco?" He asked.
She played with her fingers to help her brain stay present. Something she often did to stim when she didn't want it to be noticeable. "It's cozy when it's not race weekend. I think the race has made it crowded."
He looked a little surprised. "Do you not like crowds? I thought you did since you come to most of the races."
"Seeing them is fine. Being trapped in them is difficult."
"That's a little odd of a perspective, don't you think?" He laughed. "I feel like you either enjoy the crowds or you hate them."
She didn't understand what he meant by that. Didn't she just say what she thought? Why was he asking the same question? "Factually, I think you can enjoy seeing a crowd, like on TV, and also become claustrophobic when in one."
He didn't know how to respond. The staring became awkward for him as he tried to respond. She just waited. Assuming he had now understood her point. Then he came up with an excuse as to why he needed to duck out of the conversation.
Zak asked Oscar about it later. To which the Australian internally face-palmed. Then, he proceeded to explain the unspoken role.
Zak apologized the next day if he made her uncomfortable. She just looked between him and Oscar. Hoping for an answer as to how he could've done that.
It took a while, but they finally got their. Now Zak goes to her if he ever wants an honest opinion on something.
~
The most recent time actually hurt her. She spent days inside her and Oscar's room. Struggling to eat, sleep, and communicate.
She was lucky that Oscar was around to help her through this. His frustration almost overwhelming his own mind.
Two weeks ago, they had been in Silverstone. It was an amazing race, and she felt happy that she got to share it with him.
She had been making friends with the other WAG's around the paddock. So when Oscar was pulled away, she went to find someone to hang out with until they finished.
She found Kika and Lily in the Williams hospitality. It was warm in the building, so when she sat down with them, she decided to get comfortable and took off her sweatshirt.
Her shirt that day was not the usual baggy t-shirt and jeans. Today's she was wearing a crop-top that showed her stomach, but she felt cute and confident, and Oscar complimented her on it the entire morning. He said she looked good when she's comfortable and that's what matters to him.
Her body was not the ideal body type that meets the standard beauty criteria. Frankly, she didn't care.
She's healthy. She's comfortable. Oscar has said daily that he loves her as she is.
She wasn't expecting the fans in hospitality to ask her anything about it.
When she got up to get water, a few young women approached her. This had happened before, and she assumed they wanted to ask about Oscar or know of they could get a picture with him.
She assumed wrong.
"How come you're not wearing what you normally do?"
"Because I felt comfortable in this today."
"I think the other style suits you better. Don't you think?"
"I don't have a style. This is just comfortable."
"Is this because Oscar likes it better?"
"No, he likes it when I'm comfortable."
She was trying to keep up. All the questions flying at her rapidly. The music was reverberating off the wall. The hospitality staff were cleaning and packing.
Her head started to spin. Her hands flew up to cover her ears. She was going to cry if she didn't get out.
She was thankful the Kika and Lily noticed and got her out of the area. Blocking anyone from speaking to her and ignoring those who tried to stop them.
They ran into Oscar on the way to somewhere quiet. He immediately placed his hands over hers to try and help block out more sound until he could get her to her headphones.
Kika and Lily explained what happened. The females asking her questions were not understanding why she was giving them the same answer. Their intentions were unknown, but it was obvious she looked uncomfortable and cornered in that moment.
So he led her away into his driver room and told her she could lock the door and he'd come get her when it was time to leave. She obliged, turning off the lights to help her senses.
She curled up in the corner and soothed herself until Oscar came back.
Someone had taken a video of the encounter, and people started asking questions about her. Why does she do the things she does? It didn't make any sense to them. It made her frustrated because they made her out to be an alien on her own planet.
Her body couldn't take it anymore. She stayed in her corner with the lights off and shut out the world.
Except for Oscar. He sat in the dark with her. They ate meals on the floor. He helped her bathe in the dark. She felt so lucky to have found someone who understands and cares as much as he does.
His PR team was trying to do something about the video. It wasn't right for it to be posted, and McLaren was doing what they could, but It wasn't enough.
So Oscar took matters into his own hands. He decided to answer all their questions. With her permission, of course.
She cried when she read it. He was happy that she felt safe enough with him to let herself unmask, but he wanted her to be able to unmask anywhere. They were taking a step in the right direction, and they both ate comfort food that night.
Instagram story message because idk how people do SMAU's: "I want to take a minute to address the video that was posted about my girlfriend recently. My girlfriend is Autistic, meaning that things can become overwhelming easily. You might not understand everything she does, but you don't have to. She is her own person and has her own life. What she answers to questions is her truth. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
-Oscar
#x reader#fanficion#f1 fic#formula one#angst#formula 1#racing#max verstappen#charles leclerc x reader#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#piastri#lando norris f1#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris#mclaren f1#mclaren racing#mclaren formula 1#mclaren#op81#ln4#oscar piastri x Autistic reader#autistic#autism
776 notes
·
View notes
Text
❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — chapter fifteen | coriolanus snow
「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 NSFW | male masterbation, Coriolanus Snow, Dr. Gaul, canon typical violence, mentions of death | lmk if I forgot anything
「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 you punish Coryo in your own way and Coriolanus figures out a solution for the snake problem :D
「ᴀ/ɴ:」 hope you guys like this!! <333 please remember to give your feedback, this was supposed to be longer but i decided that what i have planned will be better for the next chapter!
Beta read by the stunning ✨ @nowitsmissing ✨
masterlist | navigation
The rest of the gala went incredibly well. Being introduced as your partner made the others look at him with newfound respect. He truly had underestimated your value and felt guilty for it. He spent the rest of the night being paraded but it all ended well since even the men who weren't as interested in him before seemed intrigued.
All is well when the end is well.
The night ends with a kiss in front of the cameras. That had sealed the deal. You had truly forgiven him for his mishap now, or so he thought. In the car ride back home you hadn't looked at him. Even if he tried to make conversation with you; you replied with one-word answers.
Coriolanus looks away from you, giving his attention to the Capitol streets instead. It was very boring. He hated it. So he begins to ramble, not caring a bit that you weren't giving him attention. You were forced to listen. He begins from the top, talking about Clemmie and Festus and how they helped him. Coryo adds about Dr. Gaul. Her interactions with him.
He smirks when he sees the angry twitch of your fingers. He begins to talk about some other elite. Some opinions of awe and a few judgemental (even though he had no right to judge).
“God, you can't shut up, can you?” You groan, turning to him. Your hands pull at his suit, bringing him closer to you. You kissed him, but it was more like a sudden clash of teeth. Coriolanus didn't mind, he moaned into the kiss. His hands fisted so they didn't venture on places it shouldn't. He didn't want to make you more mad.
You suck his lower lip. The kiss was messy and sloppy. But it felt so good that Coriolanus refused to separate. He loves how good posca tasted on your tongue. He whined at the taste, feeling drunk by it. “You're mine,” he murmured against your lips.
He doesn't see you rolling your eyes. You replied, “Shut up.” And pulled him into another bruising kiss. Your hand was in his curls, and he groaned into your mouth as you pulled the blonde strands hard. “Dove-” he whines.
It didn't matter to you he felt overwhelmed.
You continued pressing him kisses until he was breathing hard and unable to kiss back properly. His brain was mush, his cock hard and because of the darkness of his pants, the pre-cum stain wasn't visible. You finally lean back satisfied when all he can do is whine pitifully. His lips were swollen, and sensitive. His eyes were closed and he couldn't speak. He wanted to beg for another kiss.
He didn't because he relaxed in his seat, unable to make eye contact with you because of the mess you made of him. You weren't going to play with him any further and he knew that. This was a punishment. His hard cock straining against his pants, wanting to cum was proof of it.
This was his own doing.
“I am sorry,” he whines, his hand pressing on his bulge.
“You're forgiven,” you sweetly lie as if you wouldn't repeat this punishment if he messed up again.
“Here ya go, safe and sound. Good night, Coryo. Sweet dreams,” your eyes drop to his bulge and you smile, “hopefully of me, pretty boy.”
He gets out of the car. Coriolanus stomps the ground, childish he knows but what else could he do? He even lets out a few curses, trying to ignore the ache of his cock. He barely talks to Tigris when he enters home. He tells her thank you for the clothes before he locks himself shut in his room.
He muffled his groan with his free hand, the other hand freeing his cock from the confines of his pants. He begins to stroke his length, dry and fast. Not caring that it's a bit painful. He needed to cum. He whimpers and whines, his eyes watering. Fuck, it burned. He spits in his hand, using it as lube. He lets out a satisfying moan before biting his lower lip. He tasted blood but didn't care.
Realizing nobody had listened to the noise, he kept going until finally, his dick shoots out ropes of white cum. He sighs, wiping his lip clean of the blood. Blinking away tears of relief. You turned him into such a mess. Only you could do that. He now realized he could never make the same mistake he did today.
He was yours.
And now everyone in the Capitol with a TV knows it. He takes off the suit and showers. He changed into his pajamas and led himself to bed.
When he dreams, it's of course about you.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
Snow's in the auditorium, the morning starting slow. Something had happened, and he received multiple condolences. Felix Ravinstill was dead, it was a public announcement that happened earlier when he still hadn't come to the auditorium. The reaper kid had torn off the flag and used it to cover dead bodies. A gesture with a great impact. The impact was ruined because of what the rebels had previously done and Dr. Gaul took advantage of it.
Coriolanus rolls his eyes as he sees the highlight footage of it. He has to admire the way Dr. Gaul used his classmate's death in this manner. She made it seem like it had much more importance than the death of the tributes. When it was all just the same. Coryo lets this thought wander in his mind.
His attention to the screens snaps back when he sees Coral’s pack gathering all of the remaining water bottles in a circle. Snow realized if anything was distracting the pack, it would be a perfect opportunity for Lucy Gray to secretly poison the water. He hoped Lucy Gray was smart enough to realize this too.
He encourages (tricks) several of his classmates to send food, telling them their tributes are smart enough not to get hurt. When brought up about Jessup, he refuted that the boy was sick anyway. A few mentors who felt pity for their tributes didn't need much convincing. They send several drones of water and food distracting the tributes away from the vent Lucy Gray was hiding in.
Lucy Gray takes the hint! She slips out of her vent, she's careful as she drugs the water and the surrounding food. It was barely seen by the camera. If viewed by the naked eye, it would look like she was eating the food. Coriolanus smirks, though the feeling of triumph is short-lived.
He soon thought of a line that Dr. Gaul had said during the broadcast. The enemies will be seeing a rainbow of destruction. The snakes! Dr. Gaul will be releasing the snakes into the arena. Fuck! He has to do something soon! He knew that the snakes don't react to familiar scents and he had a handkerchief stained with Lucy Gray's tears.
It has to work.
Coriolanus thought of an insane plan but there's no other way. He needs to do it if he wants Lucy Gray to win. He goes on his way to meet Dr. Gaul. The stitches in his back weren't healed yet, and Coryo pulled at them. He can feel the wound bleeding again and winces in pain.
Snow enters the lab. The snake cage in sight made him swallow in nervousness. “Mr. Snow,” Dr. Gaul acknowledged. “Came to beg for her life?” It took him a moment of panic to realize that Gaul meant the poor songbird and not you.
“The stitches pulled, I didn't go to the hospital because I didn't want them to ask questions,” Coriolanus said, praying that the excuse made sense.
“You did the right thing,” Dr. Gaul approved.
Coriolanus sat down, taking off his uniform to reveal his bleeding wounds. He could see birds in a cage and wondered in awe (and horror) about what experiment they went through. With a closer look, he noticed what they were.
Dr. Gaul confirms his suspicions.
“Jabberjays.”
“Made for the war to pick up rebel conversations and squawk it back to us word by word,” she adds, her hand picking up a remote. “Failed experiment but an instructive one.”
Dr. Gaul describes her plan for them. “I am rounding them up district by district now to see what better purposes they might serve.” Coryo paid mild attention as he saw people preparing to carry out the snake cage outside. Dr. Gaul clicks the button of the remote and the jabberjays repeat everything word by word. Perfectly. Coriolanus was a bit impressed.
“They're all done,” Dr. Gaul said. His stitches were stitched back together. He grunts softly in pain. He eyes the cage that the staff takes away. He takes his time wearing his shirt, he doesn't want to seem eager to get away. He couldn't afford suspicion.
“Thank you, Dr. Gaul.”
He walks out of the lab with shaky legs before breaking into a sprint trying to locate the cage. Thankfully he finds the cage, ready to be taken to the arena. He didn't see anyone in sight. He took the handkerchief and found a gap to push it inside. The scent of Lucy Gray will not be unfamiliar to the snakes.
Therefore if she dies, it won't be by them.
NEXT PART
#character x reader#x you#x reader#x female reader#fem reader#smut#coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#president coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus snow smut#young coriolanus snow#coriolanus x you#coriolanus snow x reader smut#coriolanus snow x female!reader#coriolanus snow x you#dystopian fiction#tbosas x you#thg tbosas#tbosas fanfiction#tbosas x reader#tbosas#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games#thg x reader#thg series#thg fanfiction#tom blyth
352 notes
·
View notes
Text
bangchan boyfriend headcanons
genre: fluff
word count: 0.8k
warnings: none
requested?: yes
song rec: my universe - coldplay, bts
author's notes: in honour of chan day, here is some bangchan bf headcanons. i may or may not have cried whilst writing this. i just love him so much ;-; anyways, i really hope you enjoy this one! happy chan day <333
guys...
oh my gosh i can't breathe-
okay, okay
i don't think you understand how much this guy means to me. this guy. the most beautiful, gentle, gorgeous man in the whole world. this person who's very existence is why i am still here today. bangchan. bang christopher chan. chrissy boi
however has the privilege of dating this one should know that they are the luckiest person in the whole wide world
bangchan as a boyfriend? he puts his all into the relationship. being the leader of stray kids has taught him many things: patience, kindness, empathy, compromise, understanding. he is well equipped for any sort of human interaction, if we're being honest. he is also prone to be protective, taking a more caring role is natural for him. as a boyfriend, he will look out for you. make sure you stay out of harms way, protect you from the press, sasaengs, paparazzi, toxic fans, idols, anyone who hurts your feelings, your reputation, your image.
you are like the kids in the sense that you become chan's top priority.
speaking of the kids, you will have to get on well with them. the other members as so important to chan because they are essentially his family. so getting along with them is a must and non-negotiable, tbh
and they welcome you with open arms, anyway, seeing how happy you. make chan. you all end up being one big happy family, its lovely
but it's baffling, really. because at first, chan was a bit concerned that being in a relationship would be extremely difficult because of his tight schedule
and, much like i said with hongjoong, he's a quality time guy. he craves a one-on-one connection with someone, to really get to know them well and to understand their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. which is hard because he literally has no time at all. but somehow, magically, he manages. and much better than he thought he would
and it's because he absolutely thrives in a relationship. he finally has someone to commit to. something to look forward to. something that give shis life a new meaning. a brighter joy that he has never quite experienced before. sure, he's living his dream, but it's not easy. his life is hectic and tough and crazy and busy and lonely. and therefore he values, much more deeply than others, the feeling of companionship
to love and to be loved. that's what he desires the most. that's what he needs
because this man has so much love to give. he will hold you close to him and never ever let you go
cuddles are a necessity! he's very physically affectionate and essentially wants to be close to you in any way. he doesn't even care if he's the big spoon or little spoon. if he's. a big spoon, he feels like he is protecting you and it feels so good holding you close in his arms. but if he's the little spoon, he would feel so safe and loved and cherished as you hold him tight. he lives for any type of cuddles <3
overall, being in a relationship with chan would be extremely important for him for one key reason: you make him feel like he is at home. he finds himself being so comfortable around you; he is free to be himself, with no judgement. he feels safe with you. that's something he can never deny. you are his best friend, his family, his soulmate. a massive part of his life. he never underestimates how much you mean to him. and he never takes you for granted. not once.
dates with him would include:
studio dates - yes, i know, how predictable. the usual setting of every chan fic out there, i get it, i get it. but he loves it when you're at the studio with him. sometimes you guys work together, just quiet and enjoying each others comfortable company, ordering takeaway food at midnight, falling to sleep together in the early hours of the morning. or you guys just mess around and get like zero work done. either way, he loves it
binge-watching - he counts this as a date. he wants nothing more than after a long day working at the studio, coming home to you snuggling up in his arms in his bed while he puts on a movie or anime or tv show you guys have been watching. it's one of his favourite moments ever. it makes him feel so warm and happy
fireworks display - kinda cliché but also totally his vibe. i think he's watched so many anime with romance fireworks scenes that he's just like 'yep, we have to do this.' and it's breathtaking how perfect it all is. a beautiful moment shared with a beautiful man
i hope chan chooses happiness, above all else <3
#bang chan#bangchan#chan#stray kids#skz#kpop#requested#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#skz imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids imagines#skz headcanons#skz fluff#skz scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids scenarios#stray kids headcanons#kpop fluff#kpop headcanons#fluff#sfw#headcanons
831 notes
·
View notes
Note
To all the show doubters: you CANNOT say the final episode wasn’t absolutely great. Very few major issues, and actually lived up to the books (mostly)!
i obviously have like 16 full length essays in my head but imma spare y’all that for now.
i speak as a show doubter here. i havent watched the show yet because i have a grad review in 2 weeks that i'm supposed to be working on and i simply dont have the TIME to binge an entire show without feeling a truckload of guilt afterwards.
nothing against you, or anyone who enjoys the show! but i accidentally saw a clip from the final episode that INFURIATED me.
it's luke's betrayal, and somehow....annabeth was there. i don't want to comment on anyone's acting because this is just one scene and i don't want to be too harsh. but my issue is that annabeth was there at all.
first off - if she was there, there is no WAYYYYYYYYY annabeth's first instinct would be to attack luke if she overheard him. this is her FAMILY, the one person she truly felt she knew and who she felt knew her. she'd be stunned, man. not defiant in the face of his betrayal. look at the books! she rushes to hold the sky for him, making that decision in the brief moment it causes him pain!
anyway:
annabeth being absent is the POINT. in the books, she doesnt see luke leave, she doesnt know/understand his reasoning, and ON TOP OF ALL THAT she has to wait for like a week for percy to wake up and tell her how things went down. during that week she has to come to terms with the fact that 1. luke's left her and the camp, 2. he attacked percy, 3. he's joined kronos, and 4. he didn't care about her enough to give her an explanation or even say goodbye.
i feel like this DIRECTLY leads into her attitude towards him in EVERY. OTHER. PJO. BOOK following the first one. she is desperate for answers, desperate to believe that there's still some good in him. she wants to hear it from him. she wants to SAVE him. she defends him from percy's judgement MULTIPLE TIMES, tells him percy didn't know him, but she did. she truly believes he's just lost his way. she doesn't understand how he's fallen because she wasn't there to see it. and when she finally does, it's STILL hard for her to process.
i feel like her being there just ruins a lot of that. or maybe i'm just being overly nitpicky. which...that's kinda my thing. wcwsthwas exists because i'm nitpicky.
i don't want to diminish anyone's experience if it's been a positive one, least of all yours because i really do appreciate your inputs! this is just me ranting here because that scene bugged me so much. maybe the rest of the show is great and i'll be eating my words soon enough. i guess we'll have to see!
i'm sorry if this is very harsh - i don't want to offend anyone! i'm ecstatic you like the show, and i don't want to shut anyone down. i know i come off as a rick riordan hater (which i kinda am), but i wouldnt be writing pjo fic if i didn't have a lot of love for the universe he's created. i want to hear all the opinions - the good and the bad. please feel free to share any thoughts in my askbox.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
for once in my life I’m not a hater and I have thoughts.
I keep seeing ppl say the ending was “bad” but like,,,it wasn’t??? it was narratively cohesive and intriguing and obviously really sad but to call this a “bad” ending or to compare it to the destiel confession scene is just incorrect in my opinion.
this isn’t queer bait, this isn’t burying any gays, it’s the logical progression of their very complicated and deeply repressed relationship!!! at the end of the day they both want the same thing - to be together and to be SAFE. Crowley, with his knowledge of heaven and his Fall knows that heaven can’t fix it, and he sees what Gabriel and beelzebub did and wants to do the same. Aziraphale has a fuck ton of growing to do and programming to unlearn before he can free himself from the status quo the same way Crowley has, and that’s why he chose heaven. (or maybe he was drugged but I think that’s much less interesting). Aziraphale is a judgemental and self righteous ANGEL at the end of the day, he has always been a follower, he left heaven much later than Crowley did and didn’t fully commit either, of course he still believes in a higher, greater Good that he can bring out in heaven to make a difference.
It’s all a very queer narrative of learning that The System is not built for you and never has been and that you have to reject it, and Crowley has always been miles ahead of aziraphale on this journey. To be honest, if he had suddenly abandoned all of his hope and faith and left with Crowley, I would have found that to be a bad ending. It wouldn’t have made sense, he wouldn’t be the haughty, prim and proper aziraphale that we know and love.
When we see shax taunting him about his worst fears, it’s still being a bad angel, it’s still the fact that he enjoys human food, demonic company and the fact that he is deviant. Until he works through his shame, he could never be with Crowley!!! He won’t let himself.
Crowley sees ineffable beurocracy win and he sees his future, aziraphale doesn’t. He hasn’t connected the dots quite yet. He still believes that the only way they can truly be safe and protected is in heaven, even when that is disproven right before his eyes minutes before he chooses to leave. He says “I need you” and “I forgive you” instead of “I love you” because he still can’t fathom that he is allowed to love Crowley, just the way he is.
This ending was so faithful to their characters, squishy sensitive Crowley finally confessing through stutters and gritted teeth, idealistic, brainwashed aziraphale misunderstanding everything and making the wrong choice. Aziraphale has always been less in touch with his emotions, his human side, it’s no wonder he still assumes that their happy ending is in heaven.
“We could have been US” - them as they are, the way they have always been versus “I forgive you” and wanting Crowley to become an angel again. It’s just so clear that they aren’t on the same page yet, aziraphale hasn’t taken the leap, he hasn’t freed himself from heaven, The System, his own false beliefs. Gay gay gay gay gay.
This is a complicated, queer narrative written FOR US!!! Neil gaiman saw what we saw and went “bet” and is giving us everything we could possibly want!!!! Sad endings aren’t bad endings, they are opportunities for the characters to grow and evolve. And I am elated that this is a story that gets to be told.
As long as we get season 3 (Amazon, PAY UR FUCKING WRITERS), all will be well my sweet summer chickens.
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey
Just saw everything that happened around your recent post about Harry and Ron and I’m really sorry for everything that you had to go through, I hope you are alright. Please do not let unreasonable people bring down your spirit, you are an amazing soul and an amazing writer (thoroughly enjoyed Back to the Eclipse); you have no idea how much your metas have helped people like me.
I have always loved reading but as the rebellious teen that I was I refused to read anything that was very popular so I had never read the Harry Potter books or watched the movies and I was kinda oblivious to the situation of the fandom as well. However last year I decided to read the books and guess what I absolutely fell in love with Ginny and Harry both as individual characters and as a couple(perks of reading the series without any preconceived biases), both of them are my top two favourite characters in the series (though Ginny kinda takes the crown for me). After finishing the series I was really excited to see what interesting opinions and takes people have not just for Ginny and Harry but for other characters in the series as well. However due to my inexperience with fandoms in general, the stupid me decided to start with reddit and quora (I still don’t understand why I did that to myself) and OMFG, the amount Ginny and Harry hate literally drove me crazy.
Honestly from the beginning I didn’t have much expectation from HarryXanyone other than Ginny shippers and Hermione’s arse worshippers; but the romione shippers and Ron fans????
The way the Ron and Romione fans slander Ginny (and also Harry, but to a much lesser extent than Ginny) was truly disturbing for me to read which lead me into questioning my own judgement about Ginny’s character and Hinny and I started believing that maybe I’m completely wrong about everything I thought about Ginny and Harry, because I really love Ron and I like romione as well despite all its problems and I thought that those people on the interenet have read the books so many more times than I have so “inevitably” they have to be right (and all of this I have to say was a very wrong thing on my part, though in my defence I was really busy with my Uni so I didn’t really have the time to think through things).
Then one fine day I stumbled upon your tumblr and you wouldn’t believe my happiness to finally come across someone who shares my ideas and opinions about characters, writing and literature in general but is much better and fearless than I can ever be in expressing those opinions. Your metas have reinforced my love for Ginny and Harry as individual characters and a couple again and has inspired me to be absolutely shameless in expressing my love for them. In fact you have also kinda inspired me to start my own tumblr account and ramble about my favourite characters, books and literature which I might do in near future.
Sorry for the rant
Please continue to be the amazing person that you are and continue to inspire people.
Loads of love from India
Ok, first of all, you guys are so nice but I swear what happened is absolutely not a big deal.
People are absolutely free to disagree with what I say, even if I wish they did it when there's actually something two people can have different opinions on.
That said, I'm so happy you liked Back to the Eclipse and that my metas arrived to someone. It's really crazy the gaslighting this fandom does when it comes to hinny, isn't it?
Also, I am so happy to have inspired you to share your opinions!
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Son Absolutely Destroyed a Relative’s Transphobic Tirade
And it was the most eloquent yet brutal flaming I’ve ever seen.
Imagine you had a relative you weren’t close to who’d never met your children before. Now, imagine this relative had formed a negative opinion about one of your children based on their own bigotry and skewed world view — and then actually had the nerve to confront your child the very first time they were introduced.
Oh, I know. The audacity.
Now imagine right before you interjected to put this relative in their place, your child countered their hate speech in such an eloquent, adult, and factual manner as to leave that person so thoroughly outmatched, they collapsed into a fit of childish rage. Reduced to a shrieking harpy, red faced and howling.
I lived this reality a couple years ago when my trans son was just 14 years old.
Ihave a first cousin who’s well known as a religious zealot, saving her brutal judgements for everyone save her own self. We’ve never been close as we lived in different states and are different ages, but I saw her during some holidays growing up and our interactions have always been cordial.
At this particular time, I hadn’t seen nor spoken to her since her sister’s wedding a decade earlier. So, I was surprised when she sent me a message via Facebook and asked for my number. I was even more surprised when she Facetimed me immediately after I sent it to her. What fresh Hell is this? was my first instinct.
I should have listened to it.
We made small talk and she blabbed about her life for a while before approaching the topic she really had called me for in the first place. She noticed my oldest kid going by his new name, Ollie, on Facebook recently and saw a picture I’d posted of the two of us. She wanted to know how I’m “dealing with all that.” Oh, brother.
Before I could answer she launched into the explanation that the oldest of her eight children had come out as trans as well, and that their family was not having it. They would not acknowledge her oldest as anything but the female she was assigned at birth, and their oldest child’s girlfriend was not anything more than a “friend.”
I would’ve loved to just nope out of the conversation and hang up, but I felt so bad for her oldest baby. I thought, maybe she does want advice and I can help her see things in another light.
Before I could get in a word between her blabbing, however, my son stuck his head in my bedroom door to say goodnight. Before he could duck back out, my cousin demanded, “Is that your oldest? Turn the phone around and let me see!”
I knew how this was going to go, and I kind of even willed it to happen. So, I turned the phone around and introduced them. Ollie greeted her and said, “I love your red hair!” commenting sweetly on my cousin’s natural orange-red curly mop of hair. To which my cousin thanked him and said, “You’re so pretty.”
Ollie took the comment with grace and thanked her politely. Then my cousin took it there.
“Yep, so very pretty. Definitely a girl. A beautiful girl. Why would you ever want to be anything else when you’re so gorgeous?”
Ollie’s polite affect dropped like a stage play curtain after the final act. He saw what game was being played, and he could play too.
He flatly replied, “It has nothing to do with wanting to be anything. I am who I am.”
I wanted to pipe in, but I knew he had this covered. I’d had many conversations with him about people like this, and was confident he could handle this conversation with more integrity than I could. I waited.
My cousin let out a sarcastic laugh before commenting, “Oh, I know, everyone just wants us to accept it but no one wants to talk about it.”
“Oh, no. If you want to talk about it, let’s talk about it.” Ollie looked up at me and without a word I knew this was him asking for permission to speak freely. His eyes said she wants to go there, am I free to drop her off at school?
I smiled and nodded, and he continued.
“What would you like to talk about?” he asked her in the same sweetly sarcastic tone she’d been using.
“Well first of all, you know there are only two genders. I can tell you’re smart. You are either born a boy or a girl. You can play pretend all day, but that will never make it true. I can pretend to be a duck all day and quack, but at the end of the day, I’m not a duck!” was her well thought out point. I cringed inside.
Ollie didn’t miss a beat. “Gender and sex are two different things, but let's set that aside for right now. You say there are only boys and girls. I would point out that’s scientifically not true. What about intersex people?”
“That’s such a rare occurrence. It’s not relevant because the percentage of truly intersex people is so small,” she shot back, unprepared for the slam dunk he’d set himself up for. “It’s too rare to even count.”
“Actually, it’s about as rare as being naturally red headed like you. The percentage of intersex people and red-headed people are right around the same. One you can see and the other you can’t, which is why you don’t realize how common it is.”
And BOOM goes the dynamite. I could’ve screamed. She was so taken aback by this 14-year-old that had just made her sound like she didn’t know what she was talking about. She was starting to anger, and her next point had no relevance to the conversation that she wanted to have in the first place. Her voice went up a couple of octaves.
“See — all you kids these days know about is “’science’ and ‘facts!’” she said, as if that were a bad thing. “I bet you can’t even name the first ten books of the Bible, though, can you? That’s the real problem.”
Now, I could not list the first ten books of the Bible if you held a gun to my head, but my kids went to church with my in-laws for years. I let them go to make up their own minds on what they believed, and to do that you need to hear all the sides of the argument. When they did not want to attend any longer, I didn’t make them go. Because my cousin knows I’m not a religious person, she believed I’d indoctrinated my children to my own beliefs — or lack thereof — because that is what she did. She thought this was a sure “win” for her.
Not just irrelevant, though it was that. Also, wrong.
“Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians”, Ollie replied with a smile, while counting them off on his fingers. “Would you like the first 5 of the Old Testament while we’re at it? Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy. Though, I’m not sure why or how that is relevant in any way.”
Oh. My. God.
Excuse the expression, but that was a flawless victory if I’d ever seen one. I stifled back my laughter. Someone, however, did not find it as amusing as Ollie and I did.
“You think you’re so smart!,” my cousin shrieked in rage. Her face was fully red, and she looked like her pointy little head was about to explode. “You’re just a smart-ass kid. I’m an adult! You don’t know anything about life yet! You know I’m right!”
This is when I stepped in, turning the phone back to me.
“Oh, no, sweetie. What we’re not going to do is all that disrespectful screaming and rudeness,” I said, curtly. “Just because you’ve been outmatched by my teenager doesn’t mean you get to call me after a decade and scream at my child who you don’t know — and will never have the pleasure of knowing.”
“I understand you’re having hard time coming to term with reality pertaining to your oldest child, but I’m pretty sure you’re projecting your problems with him onto me and my child. That seems like something you should really reflect upon, honestly. In private.”
I could hear her shrieking intelligibly as I pressed the button that ended the call. I looked up at my kid and smiled. He smiled back.
Me n My Minnie Me <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ I was intending to get back to replies ASAP, but apparently I have to take a small break and do a PSA, all in one. I just. Can't believe this happened twice in a single year; only a few months apart...
For those who don't want to be involved in any drama/not wanting to bother reading it- (No judgement; I wholly understand.)
TL;DR: I tend to keep my private life and RPC blog content separate, these days. Unless I want to give a heads up, I'm really moving away from the life-update kinda stuff... However, it is something entirely different when you bring your personal beliefs of other peoples' lives onto my dashboard. ESPECIALLY which applies to me.
I will unfollow. I will block. This is my space to relax and have fun. Have your opinions all you like; I intend to care for my own mental health. ]
Okay, with that out of the way... Context. (But kept in vague terms, as I've already unfollowed + blocked what caused me stress today. If you know, cool, but. I'm not "calling anyone out" or what have you. Just saying "this is how I feel, I'm not arguing it, we'll be moving on after this.")
For the SECOND time this year, I've had to find out a mutual has anti-polyamory sentiments. And I get it. Some people have bad experiences with it or know someone else who did. Maybe you just personally don't agree with it. You're monogamous, intend to stay that way, don't care. Whatever it is, I don't have problems with that.
I have problems when it's on my fucking dashboard. I have problems when there's lies being spread that it only could ever be harmful and/or abusive in nature. That it "ruins" relationships and puts children through pain. I also have EXTRA problems when someone can't even own up to having anti-polyamory views, and deletes the posts after making them. (I'm salty over this, yes. Let me have my moment.)
If not obvious already, I am polyam, and so is my partner. We're a duo rn, and not really looking to change that...but open, as we've ever been. I know my limits; I'm probably down for a third, and then no more. Aside from that, I crush wildly, and my boyfriend supports it and teases me about it. (I also do the same to him, LMAO.)
Again, it may not be for everyone. But it's taught me to communicate better. I've learned more about myself. Any relationship failings have never been on polyamory itself; just that we weren't ready or it was the wrong time, like any other relationship.
BUT!!! And this is my major thing... If you don't like it, cool. I don't care; put it on MY dashboard, however, and that's where we have problems. I once again state: I am NOT here to indulge in daily news. To post my opinions. To share my life. If I want to, I have separate sideblogs for that. All connected to my main, away from my Fun Place.
It stressed me out, to start. Totally blindsided me, and I felt like shit. Now? If not yet obvious: I'm pissed. I'm one of those people where I am just as polyam as I am nonbinary or demisexual: that is unarguably me. I've always been this way, but was given words for it from one of my partners. I'm happy this way.
Anyways. Final note/thoughts: Again, believe whatever makes you happy. Live your life and your truths. But I will block if more of this shit ends up in my sphere. I'm not having it.
Oh, and feel free to block me if you disagree, as well. Sucks to lose people over personal matters, but I'm sick and tired of having MY nice things trampled over by other people.
#Mun speaks#[ I had my shower and am VERY sleepy ]#[ but needed to get this out there ]#[ being on my dash SUCKS rn ]#[ even tho I got things squared away already... ]#[ anyways going forward... ]#[ likely give a few ask prompts rbs ]#[ aaand then zero in on RP replies ]#[ it'll give my brain a break from all of this ]#[ PLUS!!! I gotta do a belated bday post for Kaguya!!! ]#[ hers was on the 15th! ]
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Now that queendom is over what are your thoughts on all the contestants overall? like did they surprise you? are you disappointed? i just wanted to hear your opinions on them as someone who didn’t know them prior to this (except for hyolyn). Personally i was very surprised by kepler and i look forward to what they’re going to do next even though their stages were never impressive i really admired their energy and i can see how talented they are and i would love to give them a chance in the future, wjsn disappointed me i never saw them perform before but i liked some of their songs so i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get into them but they kept doing the same thing and i just got bored unfortunately. I never cared about viviz/gfriend and i will continue to never care about them. I was surprised by loona in a good way loved the shake it stage and the final one same with brave girls that final stage was fantastic and so much fun and you can see how free they felt because they didn’t have to worry about the ranking. Do we have to talk about hyolyn she’s a legend but i have to admit that unlike you i really didn’t like her final song which was a bummer :(( in conclusion it was fun but if they do a queendom 3 i really wish they change some of the challenges which brings me to my next question if you could design a show like this what would you choose for the challenges? (Sorry this is very long and i asked you two questions) enjoyed your weekly reviews of the performances!!
oh hmmmm, good question (the first one). other than the first one i didn't actually watch the full episodes, just the stages, so tbh i'm pretty sure i know just as little as you about all the contestants! i'm not a big girl group fan so coming into the show the only two i had any really familiarity with were hyolyn and brave girls, and both of them exceeded my expectations. viviz i knew would be be poor performers and they blew well under that expectation from me. also no one should be supporting them anyways why were they allowed on this show. i only knew wjsn from the black and chocome, and i will admit that i am disappointed by their showing during queendom. their first stage was pretty good and there was a lot of potential there, but they stalled HARD and ended up producing really lackluster stages for the rest of the run. design wise they dropped a lot of balls and also did some stuff that i consider to be very unsafe (the pantomime stage), and honestly i did not like any of their music either, so i'm not that interested in checking them out beyond the show. i don't even know if i can pick out a reason why they stalled so hard either, since i know they have the capacity to do more focused concept work bc of the black and chocome. the only thing that i can maybe think of would be that they were trying to do some sort of connected universe type thing that tbz were trying to do, but if they were it was absolutely inscrutable to me.
loona i don't think my opinions of them are changed? like i said in my reviews they clearly have access to good set and costume designers when they want to, but i wasn't particularly impressed nor disappointed? someone sent me an ask about them before the show started and i've left it until after the show was finished, so i've kind of been holding back a judgement on them until i get started on actually watching some of their mvs. they had one of the better runs on the show but i always ended up finding that their stages were incomplete in some way? like they always seemed to have one design element that was really good but then the rest fell by the wayside. like the set and lights for butterfly were good, but the costumes sucked ass, or the costumes for pose were great but the lighting was horrid. it was very inconsistent, which was not something that i've seen in any of this series before? like with kingdom i could logically map out the choices how the design teams were working; like skz had ass costumes because i know jype has garbage stylists, or how sf9 generally had across the board really good stylings. like the discrepency between the pose costumes and the shake it costumes are SO high from a costume designer's perspective. like you do a stage themed after one of THE most iconic western eras of fashion that has a ton of modern subcultures specifically surrounding it and you somehow don't manage to use THE most iconic garment from that era, but two stages later you can put up costumes that pinpoint an approximately five year chunk of history with a extremely specific situational circumstance AND include references to one of the most famous designers of the time????? i cannot explain that other than they just straight up hired a new stylist. or their stylist is really into versace history, idk. it's really weird.
kepler.........sigh. it was intensely unfair of mnet to put them on this show. these girls were fresh off of ANOTHER survival show, they had JUST debuted, they had a maximum of like five songs, and then you're gonna put them up against HYOLYN??????? also the fact that there are still minors in the group?????? like everything about having them on the show was wrong. and i can't even say that the girls made the best of it because their creative teams were making them do inappropriate shit half the time! i feel so bad for those girls. i think maybe if they had had a couple more years under their belt it would have been a slightly different story, but even then not everyone can be ateez going toe to toe with btob. i think i mentioned it in one of the earlier reviews but this process must have been very creatively demoralizing for kepler. they were so ill equipped to be competing against these more senior groups and it showed in their stages and in their rankings. the ONLY thing that saved them from placing last was that they had probably the largest fanbase. i also don't know what the deal is with their company, maybe it's because they're a project group, but it felt like they got NO good creative support. like their styling and their design work and even their choreography was just not up to snuff for the scale of this show. like they're mnet's group and i'm pretty sure they're managed by the same company that managed wannaone so like. what's the deal. you guys have money, where are you putting it? it feels like they just threw them out there to let them drown.
as for your second question, i am so so certain that someone sent me a similar ask about designing a kingdom type show ages ago but i cannot find it anywhere, and someone did ask me about my predictions/what i wanted to see for queendom before the show started here! in terms of changing the challenges, i would do a couple of things:
keep the song swap/cover song round, but instead groups would have to swap genders AND generations, kind of like what they did during rtk. so if it was queendom they'd have to do like 2nd gen boy group songs or if it was kingdom they'd have to do 3rd gen girl groups (generations are changeable, it just has to be different from the one of the performing groups). therefore there's a challenge for arranging AND for performing
i really liked what double trouble did where they would assign like a theme word with each song, so i would go for one round where everyone picked a theme word out of a hat and then they had to make a song work with that theme word
prop round. either it would be everyone gets assigned the same prop and they have to all make performances around it, or like the theme word round they get randomly assigned a prop (like canes, hats, chairs, etc) that they have to work into the choreo. tbh the props could be really weird or really normal, it doesn't matter.
i would also keep the collab stages, but instead of them being just dance/vocal units, i want them to make whole new groups. they can either be 'randomly' assigned or they can be like, all the same mbti types or zodiac signs or whatever. the unit stages are fine and i liked that they brought in choreographers for queendom 2 but i think a real test would be negotiating a new group structure. and i think it would help distribute some of the talents better.
#PLS can you imagine a mayfly unit stage that was just all of the scorpios????#eunkwang minhyuk hongjoong wooyoung leeknow??????? i would CRY that would be sooooo funny#god i wish the challenges were actually challenges SO BAD like pls make them do something weird or hard for ONCE mnet#queendom 2#queendom questions#i didnt talk about brave girls or hyolyn bc i talked about them the most in my reviews and we all know i love them#text#answers#this turned out way longer than i thought soz
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Admin my dear I hope you’re doing well, I just need an opinion of yours i have no one else to talk to about this better than you. I’ve been reading your blog a long time now and I really love the blog vibe not just because it’s about Evan, but also because we can here share whatever we want without judgements. Well I’ve seen sometime ago someone asked you how you come to a conclusion about you sexuality as a Lesbian, and you said it was first when you realized that you’ve loved your best friend in a different kind of way, so I kinda have the same situation. Typically I don’t know if i am bisexual but not a lesbian, maybe a bi, and I think I have something towards my best friend, I don’t know if it’s just mixed feelings or phase. Tried to figure it out but I don’t know what is it. She is so beautiful and kind and treating me so with love and kindness like I have never been loved before, especially my last relationship with my ex was a terrible experience and thought myself I’m hard to be loved or smthn is wrong with me but no. The way she treats me is different just like how I am supposed to be treated. When we have sleepovers I feel so much affection and physical attraction towards her I don’t know if she shares the same feelings but she’s hiding them. I tried to dig into this with her but she denied being bisexual or being attracted to women but I understand. Now I am lost if it’s just a phase or what because I doubt she knows smthn that I have some feeling for her but indirectly asked. Is it fear of society reaction or just denial? Confused
hello anon, i'm sorry to hear you're having a struggle with this. i appreciate you opening up and sharing your confusion.. honestly speaking, just know that it is normal. sexuality can be a very fluid and confusing thing for many of us. sometimes, people go their whole lives believing they are one thing, only to meet someone and find out they are not as rigid as they believed. for me, it was more than that; i was in denial about the reasons why i didn't emotionally or sexually connect with men. finally feeling love and attraction, is how i knew i was a lesbian. that doesn't mean that your experience will be the same. you may find that the feelings you have now aren't replicated for another woman; only time will tell. i think the best thing you can do now is maintain an open mind and be open to the possibility of loving anyone who makes you feel this way, who treats you kind and with affection. i don't think we need to worry and stress ourselves over labels and defining our sexuality. when it becomes a burden, you should do your best to let that go and instead, when you must, deal with any of the internal/external factors.. like, how do you deal with others who may not accept if you fall in love with a woman, how do you free yourself from feeling like you NEED to explain and define yourself for OTHERS.. and just live and exist in a way that feels right for you. as for your friend, it's hard to know because maybe she herself is fearful or confused - maybe over time, more will be revealed, but you can't force it.
1 note
·
View note
Note
Same anon here, hello and sorry. I wanted to phrase earlier ask better but limit restricted me. My intention was to offer other perspective, why some ppl act what happened is permanent, since you wondered about why they feel like that. I did include too much of my personal opinions though & my tone was bad. I'm sorry if it gave pressure, it was attempt to discuss but landed poorly. You don't need to explain your views, feel free to toss that ask in the bin. I wish you well & won't bother more
ofmd finale spoilers keep scrolling followers who haven’t seen it, lol
Omg don’t worry about it 😭 I appreciate the follow up anon sm very sweet of you, but it’s all good. I don’t think you were rude in your original ask, it just (along with other comments on my post) made me realize that I didn’t have a good enough grasp on my opinions and my analysis to be having discussions about them yet. (considering i only saw the episode once before I went to bed, then posted that post like at 6:00 am when I woke up after I scrolled tumblr for a bit, saw some very sad posts that made me sad, and half conscious posted what I was thinking). I was frustrated but mostly sad that I was seeing very little theorizing and interesting analysis and a whole lot of sad posting about how the finale was awful and the show sucks now (I very much enjoyed the finale and very much love this show so I was ??) and I wanted to encourage the type of culture I remember when s1 ended and everyone was sad but excited for more (how I feel currently). The toxicity that’s starting to come about in the fandom (not the sadness, that’s understandable and valid, but the leaps of judgement and hatred and arguing) is really getting to me. I liked the finale a lot and I always trust these writers to ultimately make good decisions. I don’t know what direction they’re going to go in but I know they’re not out to hurt us and have a love for these characters and for this show and this fanbase that is rare to find. Whether it’s permeant or not I believe that 1. This isn’t the end of Izzy, and 2. Its going to be good. I was trying to encourage this type of thought with my post. But again, I’m not as confident as I’d like to be when it comes to writing and posting my opinions, so I took down my post bcus I knew I didn’t have a good enough grasp on the episode to discuss it with ppl yet. I wasn’t expecting all the engagement and I got overwhelmed lol. And the thing is, I don’t necessarily disagree with your perspective and I totally get the sadness and the disappointment, but at the same time I also do feel differently on some level that I couldn’t find the words for. I couldn’t rlly come up with a response, just am not in the place yet for discussion. I generally like to think through my feelings concerning an episode (or any piece of media that affects me strongly emotionally) before I post about it or analyze it, and it was my bad for posting smth that encouraged discussion when I wasn’t in a place for it yet. I’m going to rewatch the episode some time today hopefully, if not today tomorrow, and by then I will be more prepared. There’s no need to feel guilty! I understand the place u were coming from and I wish u well as well (and wouldn’t mind being bothered more if u so wish)
1 note
·
View note
Text
personal 4 am rant, ok to interact with, but that's the context ^^
i think we are actually starting to truly fathom that we are indeed a dissociative system. we have alters. we are we. we are now slowly seeing our switches and how each alter reacts to something and what situation will trigger out certain parts and how the system tries to deal with dangerous situations, or what is perceived as such
TW // vague abuse description , vague sa mention , death mention , abuse response description
i believe a situation two days ago really made something click. we experienced a bad thing with a stranger online and a part was triggered to the front exhibiting the fawn response. our entire mindset was changed. we just went along. we did have a few brave moments were we tried to set boundaries, and they did kinda work, but this fronting part tried to protect us by letting us be used since they were convinced that anything else would be disastrous for us. they thought fight or flight was a death sentence, even with a stranger online. we could just leave the video call and block the person immediately as they crossed the line for us. but that part was back to when we were a toddler and we couldn't do anything but go along
the next morning we had switched. we finally blocked the person. we did need some reassurance from a close friend, but other parts took over and could much better handle the situation. it was extremely weird having such a switch in emotions, opinions and judgement. we never really thought about it before now. but now looking back, this has always been the case. and we have always been frustrated about it, but never really understood what was going on with us
what we also found out that might be obvious to others:
a protector can have a maladaptive method of protection. they can take over to take abuse that could have been avoided now in the present, but since they are stuck in the past where the only option for survival was to go along with it, they will use that same mechanism and fully believe there's no other way than being used
a protector can be a child alter. we at least think that it's a child part who's taking over to be abused
switches are very often impossible to control, especially in triggering situations. we tried to say no, but the words never came out and we instead did what we knew the other person wanted of us. the protector was in control and they were hard to reach
you can always retract consent. you can always assert consent. it will never make you a bad person. you didn't lead them on. you have the right and option to block any person. to leave any group or forum. to cut contact with any person. and it is in the vast majority of cases not endangering you or others if you do this
the past is the past. the present is the present. when you're triggered and in a flashback or a part stuck in the past comes to the front, do your best to remind yourself that it is current year/month/day and that the bad things are over now. that you're safe. that everything will be alright. that you're finally free. these are mostly written for us who are pretty much free from our abusers and definitely not in danger anymore
okay honestly we could go on, but we are sleep deprived and can't focus anymore
yes, the wording is horrible because we haven't been sleeping, eating or drinking enough water the last couple of days. but we needed to write this down while we still remember and while it's fresh in our mind.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Final Thoughts
This digital literacy narrative has helped me understand the road that lay behind me and at my feet. In considering these memories and the way they inform my identity, I can also consider how they inform my practice as a writing mentor with the specific goal of helping others embrace themselves and the extension of self that comes through in their writing. No student should feel excluded from self-expression, and I want my practice to reflect that.
I think that my practice operates on these three central themes:
First, I think my literacy with reading and writing as a child, wherein I found my safest space in exploring my thoughts about a book with a mentor figure, has led to me holding the integrity of my peers' trust as they share their ideas in high regard. I believe that in every one of us there exists an entire inner world made up of fascinating perspectives about the world around us. As a child, I didn't feel safe sharing my views until it was made okay by the help of written expression, egged on by a mentor. So, in my own work as a writing mentor, I want to help make writing a place where my peers can be made to feel as safe as I felt in those early days, when I could write about the way I felt about my favorite works without fear of being judged. In committing to this, I aim to facilitate open communication rather than shutting down others' opinions or voices.
Second, my literacy with culture and the various ways it impacts those within it guides my interactions with peers by helping me consider all the many ways we can feel supported or rejected by the greater culture we occupy. Knowing how difficult it was for me to feel like I could navigate a world seemingly not made for me and considering the way those in similar situations might feel, my approach at mentorship seeks to be all-inclusive to people from every walk of life. Rather than seek to perpetuate an attitude of difference, I want to help maintain conversations that are conducive to self-reflection and acceptance for people who may feel the same "otherness" I once did.
Finally, as I continue to develop my health literacy, I want to take my practice in a direction that helps others consider their own thinking and how they can help themselves reach brand new heights. While sobriety and the forms of literacy tied to it is still one I am currently learning, it has afforded me great insight into the way I think about myself and the daily habits and personal obstacles I live with. If the literacy I developed from this phase of my life is showing me anything, it's that there are always new ways of approaching a situation, even if it once seemed unchangeable. In providing a judgement-free space where any person who might be struggling to achieve inner peace or a sense of self they are comfortable with, I hope to utilize what I've learned about offering grace to myself and offer that same grace to my peers.
But what does this all mean? I think that my reflections above have ultimately led me to see that I am a person, tutor, and mentor that encourages healing in others because I see what healing work has done for me. While it took me some time to get to where I am now, working through those aspects of my childhood and high school years in order to stay sober today, I feel more attuned to the kind of person I aspire to be: someone capable of facilitating the kind of conversations that invite deeper introspection into the motivations behind our actions, thought processes, and beliefs. If, in the process, I touch on or inspire something profound with those I tutor, then I'll feel as though I'm achieving what I hope for my tutorials.
Finally, recall what Jessica Dore says of the Tarot, dearest reader. I hope that in asking the right questions to those I mentor, a "passageway to new life" and thinking can be opened for them.
0 notes
Text
Food for thought.
Journaling is a habit I struggle to keep with much consistency. Every time I have a breakdown or feel lost, I take myself out to buy a new notebook and fun pens. This notebook will be the one and my life will change! I don’t think Tumblr can replace the private therapy of writing by hand in a notebook. But I’m finding myself more around friends who enjoy reading and writing, and it’s putting me in touch with the english nerd I used to be as a kid. It could be worthwhile articulating some of the major life epiphanies I’ve been experiencing this year, to write them as pieces. Read as; impress people with my writing skills (read as; a sign of my wonderful intellect).
I won’t be surprised if I don’t log in for another year, but I love starting a project, and I love starting a project with bullet points. So here are some things I’d like to explore that have been knocking around in my brain this year:
- Becoming free of judgement from myself and others.
- The fundamental controlling nature of the Church.
- Yin and yang!
- The empowerment that comes from recognising and identifying mental illness.
- Recognising how growing up with the particular flavours of family problems, Christianity, and depression overlapped. Particularly how Christianity served as a stick to beat myself with.
- Becoming more self-confident, enjoying being single, and the value of solitude.
- A general think piece on my opinions of social media and the way modern life diminishes our attention spans.
- Covid and the gratitude I gained after recovering.
- Daddy Issues: the novel! Featuring such topics as why do I have weird relationships with men? Why did all the women in my family have weird relationships with men?
- Purity culture in the Church.
- Moving on from the hurt of family, and focus on making myself well without acknowledgement or apology.
- Summer of debauchery: and then what?
- People pleasing and being taken advantage of.
Which ties nicely into my final topic,
- Having a lasting sprinkle of OCD from my first city flatting experience.
If I think of more I will add them I’m sure.
But presently it is 7:53am. I have spent the last couple of weeks being constantly around people, so I have spent the last 10 hours watching a cult documentary. It’s always a shock when I am finally on my own. I feel so much pressure to spend my time well, that I just don’t do anything. Is this an example of executive dysfunction? Executive dysfunction is something I have only just discovered, and I’m sure I’ll talk more about it when I talk about how valuable identifying your mental health issues is. More likely it’s the comedown from all the uppers I took over the weekend, and the urge to pull an all nighter to compensate for not feeling satisfied with my day.
When I gave into the fact that I was not getting anymore freelance done last night, I decided it was time to get stoned, relax, and take the comedown as it washed over me. Unfortunately I don’t have any weed, so I miserably scraped all the kief I could (not much) and mixed it into a boiling hot cup of coffee, and soaked the whole bloody grinder in my mug too. I piled on the sugar but it was a pretty gross coffee, and I don’t think it got me high, rather it compounded my weird sleep deprived feeling. I also browsed all the streaming services for something light and “nice” and well, wound up watching 10 hours of The Vow. Not exactly relaxing but my brain wanted to engage with something.
I’m unsure what to do now. Writing currently feels like procrastinating. I’ve been living a very slow lifestyle for a while, but I have got myself a nice pile of freelance deadlines that I can’t put off, but Vanessa also needs decompression time. Certainly no more caffeine should go in my body for a while, so sleeping off the comedown feels like the only option. I’m home alone though, so feels like I’m not making the most of my time.
Peace.
0 notes
Text
About Me
Call me Nancy! I’ve been playing the game Time Princess for nearly two years; when I began it was still called Dress Up: Time Princess so I use the acronym DUTP when referring to it.
I’ve started this blog mainly as a way to record my thoughts about this game and these stories. I am not being paid for this in any way, and I have no affiliation with IGG Games or any other gaming company. And since this is a hobby, I will likely not post consistently or on every topic. I’m just here to ramble on about things I find interesting.
I also will have opinions here that might be different than yours. And that’s okay! Please know that I truly do respect your right to consume this content in whatever way you please, and disagree with me as much as you want. The reality is that this is a mobile game, and while I find analyzing it to this extent fun, if it causes you stress it should absolutely not be a part of your life. I’m a strong believer in using unfollow and block buttons to curate a healthy internet experience and suggest you do the same. My thoughts here are not meant to be a personal judgement on yours; if you enjoy something I hate, then more power to you. If you hate something I love, then I’m sorry you had a bad experience and hope you can find something better. TLDR: These are opinions, and I’d appreciate it if we could all be really chill about that.
Finally, some background: I play this game for free. This is a personal decision and not a judgment on anybody else, but it will affect how I see certain events, and it does mean it will take me a while to finish new books. All images I use here will either be from my own gameplay or publicly available on wikis or DUTP’s social media. If I ever refer to the DUTP community at large, it will be a general observation from my casual scrolling through the social media accounts, and may not accurately reflect your experience. I will not name specific users and sincerely hope nothing I post here will be taken as cause for any form of harassment, either to players or to the development team. This is a game, and my greatest wish is for all of us to have fun with it!
#about me#the purpose of this blog is actually for me to stop spamming my friends with thoughts about dutp#and keep all the thoughts nice and organized#if you have fun reading it thats great! hope you enjoy#and i am happy to discuss so feel free to send asks
1 note
·
View note
Text
Xicheng fic recs
(figured i might make a list of my own)
(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)
in no particular order:
Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight
“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“
post-seclusion lxc
trying to get jc to sing
bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before
cute
Always use protection by hesselives
“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.
Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”
bodyguard au
honestly just really intersting worldbuilding
Rewrite the stars by Arashii
“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“
ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU
enemies to lovers!
flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod
No paths are bound by Arashii
“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.
Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“
TGCF AU TGCF AU
ghost king jiang cheng come on
doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers
jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves
once upon a dream by cafedeolla
“Xicheng soulmate AU
An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.
The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“
soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution
misunderstandingssss all over the place
now with a squel (in progress?)
Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi
“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.
With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“
have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered
adorable xicheng
good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren
ongoing <3
Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly
“One day.
Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.
Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”
now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!
mermaid!lxc need i say more?
Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly
“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“
done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang
yoga instructor Lan Xichen
Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that
If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart
“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).
So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.
***
[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”
superhero au, come on
jc just trying to do his job in peace
(he can’t)
i love it so much oh my god *sobs*
The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart
“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“
there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology
actually one of the first xicheng fics i read
i chose it because there were mermaids
painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics
kids! lots of kids!
Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart
“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“
Harry Potter au!
just really fecking cute
lots of snakes
[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]
Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes
“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“
done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang
uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe
heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?
slowburn xicheng being lovely
The Provenence of Hope series by velithya
“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything.
Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“
got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~
A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112
“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“
a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews
good grandpa lqr!
canon but fixed and less painful
🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair
xicheng getting together through the years
friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way
Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya
jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance
i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13
two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do
haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:
Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously
““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.”
― Hakim Sanai
**
Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“
it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(
i will tho
Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13
“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED
I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“
Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar
“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”
The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel
gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around
#xicheng#fic rec#Jiang Cheng#lan xichen#mdzs#the untamed#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi
535 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
mehundmeh
Meh
hugheshugs
quinthusiast
lovingapparition
Drabbles & stuff
russianature
Природа России
meaningofbirth
i lied..... it's actually hot