i'm kinda like a guy who just wants to buy a specific camera but not have it shipped from japan

Kinktober2020 -ending kink fest

Dabi,Hawks,Shigaraki(separately)-❗️NSFW❗️

warnings: consensual gun play(dabi), wax play(hawks), public sex(shigaraki)

/masterlist/

pic credit:birf on twitter. follow her, fucking follow her you'll thank me

He will put a gun to your lips, make you loll your tongue out and drool over the barrel, his finger jolting and twitching on the trigger all while his face holds a nerve-wracking smile that you can't figure out.

The truth is, you look so beautiful, your knees sore and red, slightly spread apart on the floor while the small vibrator buzzes against your clit.

He can still see the glimmer of trust behind your eyes, your eyelids hooded and pupils blown wide.

"You're so fucking crazy, you know that?" He comments as his shoe slips between your legs, your sweet juice coating the once dry leather.

You nod, reaching your arms to his pants, clawing at the fabric in attempts to finally get him out of his clothes.

The gun slips out of your mouth, the now wet pipe gliding over your tits in small circling motions, stopping briefly at your hard nipples.

It then goes back under your chin, your eyes meeting Dabi's once he kneeled down to your level, his lips hungrily pushing against yours, his tongue going as far as it can reach, a hum leaving his throat once you feverishly grip at his shirt.

His free hand slips past your slick folds, adjusting the small vibrator before filling you up with his digits.

Fuck...You're too beautiful to be left living...it's a thought that often plays in his mind, but he's selfish, wants you to himself for as long as he's alive.

His fingers expertly find your G-spot, his lips leaving yours as he takes his time looking at you, praising you and waiting for you to finally fall apart after undoubtedly agonizing hours of waiting.

"Lose yourself for me, doll."

And you do. Your orgasm is ripping through your body, your chin being held up only by a shaking gun against skin.

You manage to look at him through your almost closed eyes, his jaw tightened and his chest heaving, his whole arm trembling as you ride out your high.

He places the gun on the floor carefully before pouncing on you, trapping you beneath his arms and the floor, rubbing his clothed length against your damp hole, groaning at the way it seeps through the layers.

"I'm gonna make you wish I pulled that trigger" You smile up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer, your mouth ghosting over his ear.

"Please."

pic credit:kawaiitentacles on twitter!

You're shivering under the heat, droplets of hot wax slowly cooling off on your skin, his wings spread open and waiting as the last droplets of melted wax fall over your chest.

Your body convulses at the new wave of pleasurable pain, your chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

He chose red...he always does, there's something that makes the setting ever so intimate, like you're slowly becoming his with every pearly stain on your chest.

Your pussy is smeared with drying wax, his fingers made sure your clit was completely covered in it, smearing the now barely warm liquid from your chest down to you puffy nub.

Your tits were a piece of artwork that he was sickeningly proud of, trails of red running down between them and to your belly button, some patterns obviously made by his fingers guiding the wax.

He settles the candle on the bedside table carefully, placing it back on the ceramic plate.

His cock is straining against his boxers, the perfect petal looking trail leading to your hole looks sinfully erotic, red beads all centering to your tortured clit.

You whine under his gaze, bending your legs to your knee, inviting him to slip inbetween. He does, his boxers now long gone as his cock head ghosts between your folds.

He watches the wax crack apart almost unnoticeably, each time he spreads the lips apart with his length.

He finally prods inside your heat, groaning when your legs hook behind his back.

Sometimes you wonder why he refuses to tie you down during these, but if you were to know that it's because he loves to see you jolt and shake, you would clearly tease him for being so sadistic.

Instead his arms pin yours on both sides of your head, plowing deeper in you when his chest presses against yours. It's almost too deep, fitting snuggly against your cervix and still pushing the tight walls wider.

His hips begin to move, his lips latching on your neck as he rocks his body into yours. It's passionate somehow... he can feel the wax brushing against his chest, each roll of his hips sending him even deeper in the crook of your neck.

His low rumbles and moans are so close to your ear, sending your mind into a frenzy. You're so close, so so close, yet you need just a bit more, wriggling your hips you try to find the perfect angle, getting frustrated when it takes you so long with no success.

You fight his hands while he's lost in chasing his own high, your arm freed from his grip with little struggle, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him to look at you.

The angry look on your face made him smirk, his next thrust perfectly hitting that soft patch inside.

"There you go my greedy little bird..." he whispers, moving the hairs away from your cheeks as he cups it into his palm before digging the pads of his fingers into your jaw.

His thrusts sped up, abusing the spot inside you, the clacking sound of your wet pussy filling the room. He was so close, the veins of his cock throbbing and pulsating, the fingers on your jaw tightening.

The build up became too much, headboard banging into the wall, the knot in your belly threatening to snap loose any second. Finally you felt your ears buzzing, hot waves crashing under the surface of your skin, your muscles giving out as you rode the high.

In a blink you were suddenly empty, hot ropes of cum splashing on your chest in continuous spurts, your boyfriend's groans and ruffling of feathers filling your ears.

There's a strained growl that leaves his throat when he lays next to you, his wings falling onto your chest, helping your body to stay warm as you begin to cool down.

He loves you. He can't stop saying it while he holds you to his chest, delaying the clean up just so he can say it as many times as possible.

You'll murder him if he makes you fall asleep like this, so he wills himself into getting up, not exactly agreeing to move away from you. He is picking you up and leading you to the bathroom, sending his feathers to prepare everything so he doesn't have to let go. He won't mind that you're practically asleep in his embrace...leave everything to him, he's got you.

You should've known really....

The famous wanted villain doesn't just ”feel like cinema date”.

You had your hopes up, imaginably high...Dressing up all cute and pretty. Spending hours to get ready and be perfect for your first public date.

You knew the risks, but the thought of enjoying a normal afternoon like a normal couple blinded your eyes.

None of that stopped you from spreading your legs even further apart in your seat, the lace of your panties tugged to the side as long slender fingers rubbed between your fold, smearing your arousal over your pulsing clit.

You were holding your skirt up to your tummy, one of your fists securely gripping your panties as you pushed your hips against his hand.

His intention was to get you worked up, pull you to the bathroom and have his way with you, yet he found himself lost in you muffled moans, your plump lips turning red and bruised as you dug your teeth in them.

It shouldn't matter, you were at the far end of the movie room, a few empty rows separating you and the group of guys that also came to see the film.

His other hand pulled at your chin, separating your lips and sending you a glare.

He didn't want you quiet. He wanted those bastards to turn around, be angered by the fact that a freak like him is having such a messy little slut on his sleeve.

Wetness seeped into the material of the red chairs, making the cloth a few shades darker. Your arms were now wrapped around one of his, hugging it to your chest as low whimpers left your throat.

You were squirming in your seat, making the screws screech with every movement of your hips. The sounds of your slick pussy seemingly at least 10 times louder in your ears.

His digits were now steadily pumping in and out of your warm cavern, never faltering when one of the men fake coughed, adjusting in his seat.

The movie wasn't even halfway through when you felt your high approaching.

The palm of his hand bumped into your clit with each thrust, your concerns pushed to the back of your mind the more his pace picked up.

You were now more than sure that the whole room knew, your slick cunt producing sinful sounds that were impossible to match anything else.

Tomura could feel your nails digging into the muscles of his arm, the wrinkled material of his shirt almost giving out and ripping under your clawing.

He's grinning from ear to ear, yet you can't seem to know why, his efforts doubling as he stares to the side.

You don't have the strength to move or to question his motives when you feel the electric pleasure in your stomach, the muscles there convulsing and flexing as you reach your high.

It comes not as pleasurable as it's embarrassing, the guilt eating at you as soon as you've reached your peak. Coming down from it proved even harder, Tomura’s long still fingers waiting for you to calm yourself before slipping out, cleaning them up on your skirt.

He's pulling you from your seat seconds later, rushing you out the room and out to the hallways.

”What the hell Tomura?” You try to question as you run behind him.

There's that grin again, his eyes squinting and his teeth showing only a bit.

”Cameras, they had cameras” you weren't supposed to be shocked, it's normal and pretty common, you were supposed to be aware of that.

What pisses you off is that grin that still hasn't left his face, making your brows furrow and cheeks puff up.

The nerve.

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The decision

Hello,

found this in my drive, had almost forgot about it. It’s very fitting to my emotions. Also it was fun writting, plus there is at least two part written. Just have to check them out before I’ll do anything else. Enjoy. Civilian knew they had gone too far again, at this point they didn’t know where they had gone. Losing the track of where they were and had run was caused by their restlessness. Sometimes it seemed like it was the only thing helping.

Normally in this situation, they used to call one of their family member or a buddy of theirs, who in the end had to come and get them. But sometimes, they found a cool place… Which made them explore the abandoned building or the ruins of something very old.

Civilian took a look around, seeing an old boarded-up building, it was a fence around. It was a lot of containers just standing around, even a sign saying ‘danger’. Everything seemed to be abandoned, except for the sign which looked pretty new.

Climbing over the fence and walking around, knocking one or two containers. The echo suggested it was empty, which Civilian didn’t see a problem with. It could even be logical if a company had closed or just abandoned the place. They picked up their phone from their pocket, turning around to look at the boarded-up windows and even a camera. 

“Why is there a new camera at an abandoned building?” Civilian clicked their way to their list of contacts in their phone, as they hurried back to the fence looking for their friend’s number.

In a matter of seconds, they were on the ground on their stomach, with a boot on their back. 

Something was pushed to their back, “put your hands where I can see them and get up.” Someone harshly grumbled to them, they weren’t in any situation to refuse or fight. Not when there could be a gun aimed at them. “Don’t try anything, I won’t reward any kind of heroism.” 

Civilian slowly made it up to their feet, put their hands behind their head. Swallowed hard, knew that they could fight fairly good, but against a gun… No way.

“Who are you and what business do you have to sneak around here?” This person kicked them to their knees, holding the gun to their head. 

“I… I’m just curious, that’s all.” Civilian said as calm as they could answer.

The gun pushed even harder to the back of their head, “I asked for your god damn name!” 

Civilians eyes widened, knew it wasn’t wise of them to give out their identity. “Fake name…” Civilian took a deep breath, just as they had trained to before applying for a job at home. “My name is fake name.”

This person sighed, “if you tell me you’re a god damn Hero. I hate heroes.”

Civilain opened their mouth to reassure them they weren’t, but the thought of being a hero did sound appealing. “Actually…” They had stumbled in here by curiosity, something they knew could be a risk to their safety. Training for years and years should pay off. And finally, stop spying for jobs they weren’t gonna get anyway. 

Civilian decided to smirk, slowly turn, and then swiftly get out of the way before the shot even could hurt them. They jumped at the person wrestling them down to the floor, but their iron grip hurt them. This person was strong, and not only comfortable with weapons. “Is this how you want it huh…?” 

“You shouldn’t have given me the opportunity or the idea.” Civilian whispered with a thrill that rarely filled them.

This person smirked, “as you wish.” Civilian could feel them relax in and it threw them off. A kick to their gut hit and they groaned, allowing their kidnapper to get up pushing Civilian to their stomach again. “Better?”

Civilian gasped and just glared at them. They laughed and picked up each of their arms, holding them in an iron grip way too high. The pressure was too much, and got even tenser, as the pressure got even worse. Soon enough they arm were cuffed behind their arms and legs secured. 

“Walk.” They demanded, pulling them up and pushing them forward. The hallway was long and at the end of it was a big room for storage, but first, they turned left. 

“What is this place?”

Civilian got a slap to their head as an answer and their kidnapper snarled, “none of your damn business.” In a swift movement, the kidnapper had a grip of their arms. Shuffled a thick cloth bag over their head. Keeping them from seeing anything further and even walk properly. Civilian felt like the duffel bag they had to the gym.

The small steps Civilian was forced to take and the pain that spread fast mainly from their arms. It all was humiliating and unexpected.

“What’s this about, Sidekick?” Someone asked, equally harsh as Sidekick. 

Civilian fell to their knees, grunting loud on the cold floor. “It’s a god damned rocky!” The bag was pulled off and there were people around them, making them feel so very small. “Let’s see who you tried to call, shall we?”

Civilian tensed and it was like time and space stopped in the room. “I didn’t try to call anyone, I swear.” The one, they knew as Villain came closer to them. Civilian were happy they didn’t have an id or anywhere where their name was clear. “I only wanted to find my way home…”

Villain cupped their face and analyzed their clothes. Their eyes and their visible muscles from their slim clothes. “A rocky, huh?” Villain doubted that, strongly. “I would rather say a curious bastard, who can’t read a sign.” 

Sidekick walked around Civilian like a guard dog, always on guard. “They certainly can fight like a hero… The spirit is there as well.”

Villain’s eyes traveled from someone who had to be a guard, to sidekick, and then to Civilian. Who desperately tried to hide how nervous they were. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re a hero, but I give you a second chance. Are you a hero or not?”

Civilian knew they should deny it, they weren’t a hero. How did you become a hero anyway? “As soon as I am free I will drag you to where you belong myself!” Civilain dared challenge Villain, who smirked. 

“Oh… You’re truly are a rocky, by the look on your face you know who I am.” Villain purred and took an agonizing grip around Civilian’s throat, “just because you just made your choice, I’ll give you the welcome every hero gets here. And you’ll soon see what I am capable of.”

Civilian didn’t get any room to breathe and their limps twitch to lack of air.

“Guards see to it that they get it nice and comfortable stay, sidekick why don’t you make sure they don’t make any more mistakes, hmm?” Villain ordered and let Civilian fall to the ground and hiss in pain. Taking gulps of precious air.

“Sure…” Sidekick gestured to a few guards that it was time to go, Civilian was dragged out of the room. Only to see a smug smile on Villain’s face before the door shut.

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Did someone say Dani and Jamie holiday cuteness?

Title: White Christmas

Post-cannon, spoilers maybe?

Check it out on AO3 or read below

Feel free to hit me up with any prompt requests!

Dani assumed her position as wall flower. She leaned against the cool surface sipping her eggnog. It was a long-held family recipe that became more parts rum than eggnog as the years passed by. It wasn’t the most pleasant tasting drink in the world, but beggars can’t be choosers and well, Dani was desperate for an escape. Unable to shake off the nagging feeling she made a huge mistake by coming here.

She’d forgotten how exhausting it was to be around her family for an extended period of time. Especially, when alcohol was involved. They arrived at her mother’s house several hours ago. In that short amount of time, her mother announced to everyone that her renegade daughter finally returned home after running away to England, she’d received several agonizing speeches full of pity about her lost chance at marriage along with way too many pats on the head commending her commitment to single life, and her creepy uncle Bob managed to make serval passes at Jamie which he proceeded to cover up with feeble offers to set Jamie up with his son.

Dani downed another gulp of the rum flavored liquid effectively suppressing the vivid memories. Much to her relief, the evening festivities were fizzling out. Presents were opened, kids were scattered about enthralled with their gifts, tipsy adults were gathered all around, some picking on the cold remnants of the holiday feast, others consuming eggnog chatting at heightened volumes, and a few dancing along to Christmas music blaring from the radio.

Once upon a time, Dani was one of them. She was an excited child ripping open presents like a fiend, she loudly sung carols surrounded by family, and, not too long ago, she was just another lounging adult shooting the shit in a pleasant inebriated state. It seemed like a lifetime ago. In more ways than one, her time spent in Bly changed everything.

Dani tugged at the neck of her tacky sweater for relief. Her mother insisted they all wear them invoking the laws of holiday tradition. Dani felt stifled clad in the tight-fitting attire of the life she once had surrounded by the people she no longer fit in with. She contemplated sneaking out the back door, it was only a few meters away. No one would notice her sudden absence.

Well, almost no one.

As the crippling sense of isolation hit her like a wave, her savior Jamie appeared crossing the length of the living room. She wasn’t sure how, but Jamie managed wear the hand-me-down jumper with three plush, white snowmen on it and still looked absolutely stunning. Dani already felt herself relaxing as Jamie stood in front of her. She playfully quirked an eyebrow and, without warning, grabbed the eggnog from Dani’s hand downing the remaining contents in a matter of seconds. She grimaced at the taste before placing the empty glass on the shelf adjacent to Dani.

Jamie smiled extending her hand in front of Dani, “Shall we dance?”

Thankful for the distraction, Dani eagerly clasped Jamie’s hand allowing the brunette to pull her into the middle of the living room alongside a few other swaying couples. Jamie wrapped her free hand securely around Dani’s waist effectively drawing their bodies flush together. Dani clutched onto Jamie’s bicep with her free hand while continuing to hold the other off to the side. Within seconds, she succumbed to the warmth and security inside Jamie’s embrace. Dani rested the side of her head against Jamie’s closing her eyes and allowing Jamie to lead. Jamie hummed along to Bing Crosby’s White Christmas, her warm breath brushing along the shell of her ear.

Dani nestled further into Jamie’s body. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” She whispered into Jamie’s ear as they swayed together.

She felt Jamie smiling against her cheek “Once or twice.”

Despite the sense of safety in Jamie’s arms, Dani felt like an imposter carrying along like everything was normal within the walls of her childhood home.

She pulled back looking at Jamie. “Do you want to step outside for a minute?” She asked darting her eyes towards the exit. Jamie followed her line of sight towards the back door. She nodded in agreement. Dani laced their fingers together leading Jamie out of the house onto the back porch.

Once she was outside, Dani could finally breathe with ease. Jamie looked on with concern.

“Sorry.” Dani began squeezing Jamie’s hand like a life-line. “I can’t shake the nagging thought that coming here was a bad idea. It’s just.. I’m not, I’m not a part of this anymore. Everything is different. I’m different. It was selfish of me to bring all of that back here.”

Tears welled up in her eyes threatening to fall. Jamie moved in closer, lowering her body so her eyeline was equal with Dani’s. Her voice was soft and full of compassion. “It’s understandable you wanted to see your family before…” Jamie’s sentence trailed off as if she couldn’t bring herself to finish.

“Yeah…” Dani sighed heavily. The emotional dam was breached. A stream of tears cascaded down her face. Jamie quickly wiped them away with her thumbs. She pulled Dani in for a hug. Dani clung to her back, body shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed into Jamie’s shoulder.

“There, there Poppins.” Jamie cooed. “We came here of our own free will which means we can leave whenever we like. Even as early as first light tomorrow, if you’re up for it. We can go anywhere you’d like.”

Dani sniffled. “That sounds really nice.” She admitted wiping the remaining tears on the back of her sleeve.

Jamie was smiling at her with specks of moonlight shimmering in her hazel eyes. Dani wasn’t sure if she would ever get used to the way Jamie looked at her, like she was the center of her world.

“All right.” Jamie began, “We’ve got the beginnings of an escape plan. Since this is your neck of the woods and all, I’ll leave the details to you.” They shared a lighthearted laugh together. She placed a chaste peck on Jamie’s cheek and then pulled her in for another embrace. They stayed like that for a while. The wind rustling through the thick forest set a tranquil mood. Dani found peace. Her fears fading away into the night. Despite all aftermath to come from the events at Bly, she knew how fortunate she was to have found Jamie. Something she would be grateful for as long as she lived.

She glanced over Jamie’s shoulder. In the light of the crescent moon, she spotted a few rogue snow flurries. She smiled to herself. The cogs of her mind working through the details of their great escape.

“Let’s head back inside. It’s getting chilly.” Dani said. Jamie pulled back with a cheeky grin plastered on her face. “We could call it an early night. I can think of a few ways to warm you up.”

Dani became ignited with a different type of warmth coursing through her body. She quickly pulled Jamie inside leaving the chill of the night behind them.

Dani woke the next morning before the sun. She detangled herself from Jamie’s limbs careful not to arouse the sleeping beauty beside her. She knew she had until sunrise to get everything together before Jamie woke up. Ever the dedicated gardener, Jamie had a pesky habit of waking up with the sun even on her days off.

She quietly dressed in a non-holiday themed sweater, her warmest and most durable trousers, and fuzzy calf-length socks. After she was decent, Dani tipped toed out of the bedroom silently closing the door behind her. She proceeded down the stairs. Her first stop was the attached garage. She scanned the shelves for an open box labeled “Camping supplies”.  From the box, she grabbed an intact, well-worn nap-sack, a steel Thermos, and one mildly dusty plaid blanket. She stashed the blanket in the bag and went back into the house.

Her next stop was the kitchen to gather the remaining supplies. She rustled together a collection of Tupperware left-overs, ripe fruits, and, Christmas cookies. After squirreling the edibles inside the nap-sack, she whipped up a batch of hot cocoa. As she poured the last droplets of the piping hot chocolate into the Thermos, she noticed the first rays of sunshine peeking through the forest and into the kitchen. After securing the lid, she dashed upstairs as quietly a possible.

Thankfully, Jamie was still asleep exactly as she’d left her. Dani crept past her into the closet to search for the last items they needed. Unfortunately, the extra pair of hiking boots were located on the top shelf just out of reach. She cursed her small stature as she struggled on her tippy toes. Her fingers just barely poking the fabric. Determined and also frustrated, she grabbed a flip-flop from the bottom of her closet and used it to poke and prod the boots. She managed to successfully finagle the first one, almost yelping with success when it cascaded down into her open palm. The second shoe was proving to be a bit more challenging. This one was wedged between an unmarked box of who knows what and mountain of clothing she collected over the years. She managed to eventually knock it loose along with various other items which all came tumbling down on top of her and eventually fell to the floor with a loud thud. Pouting under a pile of clothes and clutching a pair of scuffed hiking boots, is how Jamie found her.

“What’s goin’ on in here?” Jamie asked her voice husky from sleep. She leaned with one arm against the door frame. Dani peeled off the rogue fabrics clinging to her body tossing the unwanted garments towards the back of the closet. She moved towards Jamie placing a kiss on her cheek and handing her the hiking boots. “These are for you.”

Jamie’s face scrunched in confusion. Dani noticed another item she was searching for sitting on her dresser. “Ah ha!” She exclaimed grabbing the silver Nikon camera which by some miracle still had a roll of usable film loaded within. Jamie tilted her head in amusement while awkwardly dangling the boots by their laces. “Umm, I love ya and all, but I reckon it’s a bit early for a fashion show and photo shoot.”

“Oh, no! This is all part of our adventure today. You know, the whole escaping from here plan. It involves a short hike through the forest.” Dani stammered.

“Ah, all right then. Let me freshen up so we can get a move on.” Jamie said heading off to the bathroom.

Jamie changed into her own winter appropriate attire while Dani collected the satchel of provisions and slung the camera strap around her neck. The pair headed down into the kitchen to snatching a few extra cookies to munch on for breakfast before exiting the kitchen trough the back door leading onto the back porch.

Dani watched with glee as Jamie froze on the balcony in awe over the frosted forest that lay before them. Dani took a quick photo to capture the moment. The click of the shutter drew Jamie’s attention.

“What was that for?” Jamie asked.

Dani grinned in triumph, “To remember your first look at a real-life white Christmas in, well, not in Vermont, but we’re in the America so it still counts.”

Jamie bit her bottom lip averting Dani’s gaze focusing instead on digging the back of her heel into the snow, “Of course you remembered.” Her voice laced with affection.

Dani’s heart fluttered in her chest causing her to smile. She grabbed Jamie’s hand. “Come on, there is more to see.”

They took a short hike through thicket. The sentient pines crowded out the rays of sun. Their boots crunching on the freshly fallen snow with every step they took. It was peaceful, serine; as if they existed in their own haven.

Every so often Jamie would stop them to point out notable local flora. Her eyes beaming with enthusiasm, talking animatedly about each and every plant, and waving her hands as if she were conjuring a story to life. Dani couldn’t help but snap a few photos during Jamie’s enthusiastic botany lesions. Every frame capturing Jamie in her element. Each photo evidence of the passionate woman full of life Danie was falling more in love with every day.

After crossing a small, winding stream, the pair arrived at Dani’s favorite spot. Just beyond the pine forest was a look-out point with an unobstructed view of the rolling hills blanketed in snow.

“It’s so beautiful.” Jamie said awestruck by the scenery. Dani wasn’t at all enraptured by the familiar landscape. All she could focus on was Jamie. Her cheeks rosy from the hike, wisps of curls peeking out underneath her beanie, her eyes sparkling with wonder. “Yeah,” Dani whispered looking at Jamie, “it is.”

She managed to tear her gaze away from Jamie long enough to take a photo, one she hoped to frame and hang in their London flat. Dani placed the nap-sack on the ground, spread out the blanket on a flat surface, and proceeded to unpack the bag. Eventually, Jamie turned away from the winter wonderland.

“I thought we could stay here for a while. Have ourselves a little picnic.” Dani patted the vacant half of the blanket next to her as an invitation to join. Jamie smiled, nodding in agreement. She took a seat next to Dani, sitting cross legged with her elbows resting on her knees. Dani pulled out the Thermos of hot chocolate. She unscrewed the lid and poured a generous amount into it. She handed the makeshift cup to Jamie.

“Mhmm, it’s still warm.” Jamie said as she inhaled the heavenly scent.

Dani held the silver container near Jamie’s cup of coco.

“A toast, to the first of many white Christmases.” Dani said smiling at Jamie.

Jamie grinned, clinking their vessels together. “To many more, Poppins. Cheers!”

They sipped their drinks in celebration to the first of many special days together.

Forced Time

Reader and Raphael - Angsty Bullshit

(I thought I posted this already but can’t find it here or my AO3. So here it is again?)

This wasn’t how you expected your day to go, not at all. This was supposed to be a fun little trip into the lower tunnels of the old subway stations to take some unique pictures for your newly renovated office. Raphael had caught wind of your plans for a subterranean venture when you were talking to Donnie about a possible light source and offered to be your escort.

You hadn’t even realized his intimidating presence loitering in the door way of Donnie’s lab before his booming voice interrupted your discussion. “It’s dangerous to go all the way down there by yourself. It’s a never ending maze and you could get lost forever if you don’t have someone who knows the layouts. I..um…I’ll take ya down.” The temperamental terrapin grumbled in the doorway spinning a single sai in his skilled fingers.

 Donnie’s brown eyes looked to you and back to his hothead brother and agreed laughing under his breath like he knew something you didn’t. “He’s right Y/N, it’s better to go with someone just in case something happens. The boost I made to both your cells a few weeks ago should give you both service down there, as an extra precaution.”

 If it had been any other of the brothers you would have protested, you weren’t a helpless little girl. You had lived in New York all your life and had spent most of your teenage years exploring the sewers. And funny enough that was how you met the turtles. You had been visiting your old hideout, a deserted pump station when you stumbled upon the four of them scavenging parts from the station for a new project for the genius.  You had heard stories of four green monsters roaming the sewers but chalked it up to paranoid crack heads making up stories to get attention. But there they were, huge, muscular and fucking beautiful.

 Your eyes had immediately trained in on the red brute, and found yourself a little awe struck by his impressive stature and piercing green eyes. You had been smitten with Raphael from that day but hadn’t been able to tell him, you just didn’t have the confidence to step out on that particular limb. Not yet at least. So when Raphael volunteered to escort you down to the abandoned station you were quick to agree with fake annoyance.

 Both you and the brute were fitted with Donnie’s newest contraption, an LED light pack that illuminated everything around you for 200 feet. Nearly indestructible, charged from kinetic energy by the simple movement of footsteps and thankfully light as a feather. Don was excited that it was getting their first field test and demanded a full report when you got back.

 You both had made it down a few levels and were admiring the architecture and snapping several shots of the abandoned structures when a rumble echoed below your feet. It was barely noticeable at first, just a small vibration that steadily grew. You looked over at Raphael and found the big mutant currently running his green fingers over a stone pillar seemly unaware of the tremor. Lifting your camera you took a quick shot of him catching his attention. His green eyes fixated on you and his lips curled into a shit eating grin.

 “See somethin’ you like?” he growled softly just enough to reach your ears.

 You were about to answer the loaded question when the ground at your feet started heaving and cracking making everything around you start to crumble and shift. Pillars slid from their bases shattering into pieces at your feet followed by large sections of ceiling giving way no longer supported by their supports. On instinct you dodged the falling debris as it came crashing down nearly crushing you beneath its weight. More and more of the crumbling structure began to fall and you tried to find Raphael through it all, searching for his emerald skin and red bandana.

 “Raphael!” you screamed leaping out of the way of a large ancient light fixer as it came crashing down. Rolling away from the shattering glass you scrambled to your feet feeling a shard pierce the flesh of your thigh but ignored the pain for the preservation of you life. Just then you heard the deep voice of Raphael bellow out your name just in time for you to notice a gigantic section of the ceiling about to crush you.

 A small chunk hit your shoulder first making you cry out and closed your eyes waiting for the end, for the unforgiving eternal darkness to claim you. You felt the hit, the force making the colors behind your eyes snap white for a second then bursting to a brilliant array of multi colors. Then you felt yourself slam to the ground, the back of your skull colliding with the hard ground and you started to cry out but stifled your response when you heard a loud grunt just above you.

 Before you opened your eyes you felt dust and small pieces of debris fall to your cheeks but nothing big. Nothing that would crush you or break bones, just the pain from your thigh, shoulder and now the throbbing from the back of your skull.

 Shaking the loose debris from your face you finally allowed your eyes to open and found the brute’s straining face just above yours. Then you suddenly became very aware of the dire situation you both were now in. Raphael and his shell were currently keeping several very large pieces of the cement ceiling from crushing you both. Each of his green hands was on either side of your face and the densely bunched muscles in his biceps and triceps were quivering from the strain of the immense weight he was supporting.

  His eyes were scrunched closed as he concentrated on keeping you both alive, keeping his body from coming down on you suffocating you both. It was then you realized just how strong Raph was, and you were immediately thankful he had followed you down, because if he didn’t you would be dead.

 Thankfully Donnie’s lights had seemed to take the abuse of the collapse and kept you both from the darkness; you don’t what you would have done if you were down there in the pitch black, trapped.

 “R-raph…”

 His green eyes shot open and huffed a heavy breath from his efforts and tried his best to smile. “Are y-ya hurt?”

 “I h-have a cut on my leg, my shoulder hurts and I knocked the back of my head pretty good. But other than that I think I’m good…..well as much as one can be in this situation. Are you…are you ok?”

 Another grunt as the debris on top of him shifted and he lowered towards you an inch. “I’m peachy; I think I cracked my shell though…..look y/n I need you to pull out my phone and hit the emergency button. It’s in my left pocket. We’re gonna need help, I don’t know how long I can hold this?”

 Another shift and the closer he came. You could feel his labored breathing fan across your face, if the situation wasn’t so dire you would have been happy to be this close to his handsome face. Inching down his large frame the best you could in the cramped quarters you found the pocket and sunk your hand it searching for the device. Your fingers quickly found the phone but also managed to knock against something hanging between his legs soft and heavy.

 You heard his breath catch and you swore under your breath quickly pulling the phone out and pressed the button. After a few agonizing seconds the phone rage and Leo’s concerned voice boomed through the speakers.

 “Raph! Are you ok? What happened?”

 “Fearless, w-we may need some assistance. There must have been an earth quake below us and made the room collapse on us.” You could hear the stress in his voice, Raph was struggling.

 “Y/N? Is she ok?”

 “Yeah Leo, we’re both ok for now. Can..um…you guys hurry? Raph doesn’t look so good.” You cut in hoping to hurry them.

 Raphael hissed and shook his head, “I’m fine, just get your asses down here.”  

 “We’re on our way, hold on you two.” Leo called before the phone went dead leaving you both alone again.

 The surrounding area was quiet now besides a few pieces falling into the destroyed space that was once a train station from the aftermath. Hopefully the worst was over. If one more heavy piece fell on his shell you’d both be done for.

 You put the phone away in your pocket and looked up to find Raphael staring at you. His green eyes were wide and his breathing was coming quicker than before. Something cracked and moved and Raph grunted again collapsing further down.

 “You saved me.” You suddenly said reaching up to touch his face that was so close you could have leaned up and kissed those lips you had craved ever since you had met the mutant.

 “I ah, I couldn’t stand the thought of ya dyin.” His voice was low and shaky like he was unsure of himself.

 You didn’t know if these moments were going to be your last, it would be a shame if you didn’t tell him how you felt and you both died not knowing. Both your hands grabbed a hold of his arms hoping to give him your strength to keep his firm. You pressed to try and assist with the weight knowing it was futile but you hated sitting there doing nothing while he bore the whole load by himself.  

 “Raph.” You started looking up into his face; you could see sweat beading on his forehead. “I know this might be the most appropriate time for this but then again it might be the perfect time. I don’t wanna die not knowing what it feels like…..” you trailed off suddenly feeling a little self conscious.

 “You wanna know what, what feels like?” he urged licking his dry lips.

 God you felt stupid, just go for it, “If this is the end and the guys can’t get down here in time, I don’t wanna die not knowing what it felt like to kiss you.”

 Again his breath caught and his fierce eyes focused down on you, “Ya wanna kiss me? How long have you wanted to do that?”

 Slowly your right hand left his arm and pressed softly on his scared plastron, “Since the first day I met you.”

 “W-why….fuck….” he collapsed further down and his mouth was inched from yours and his plastron was brushing against your stomach now. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” there was a hint of panic now in his voice.

 “I was scared.”

 “And you’re not scared now?”

 You lifted your head a little to brush your lips against his, “I’m terrified Raphael. I don’t wanna die. But these could be our last moments and I don’t want to waste them worrying about what could have been. I’m going to kiss you now.” You took a deep breath and captured his lips moaning softly when he returned the kiss with vigor immediately pressing his tongue into your mouth.

 God he tasted good, like sweat and leather wrapped in spices. His broad tongue swirled against yours making you wonder how he got so good at this. How many people had he kissed? Quit thinking about that now you idiot. Abandoning his chest and arm you cupped his cheeks slanting your mouth allowing your mouths to move smoother with each other. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t you be in your apartment right now lying down on your bed with his weight pressing you blissfully down in to the mattress instead of inches from crushing you?  

 A snap was heard followed by a grinding sound and your mouths broke free gasping for breath. His eyes widened as if knowing what was coming and he braced the best he could. Another piece collided with the back of his shell and he yelped in pain closing the last empty space between your bodies. His golden plastron pressed down expelling the remaining air from your lungs.

 From the newly added weight his face was now buried in your neck and Raphael could hear you start to gasp for air, he was suffocating you. He tried to push himself up, tried to give you the space you needed for your lungs to expand to get the oxygen you required. But it was no use, he was pinned and the last remaining strength he had was keeping the horrid weight from crushing your bones.

 You couldn’t breathe and all the weight that was on your chest wouldn’t allow you any leeway to the air you desperately needed. You were going to die here but at least you were in his arms.

 “Raphael!” you could hear them in the distance, they were coming.

 “L-LEO! Over here quick!” Raphael tried to scream but it only came out in a muffled cry and his plastron was beginning to concave in on itself.

 “The signal is coming from over here!” you heard Donnie calling, but it was like he was getting farther away. All the sounds felt like they were getting father away. God you needed air, you didn’t want to die. The darkness was creeping around your vision pulling you towards oblivion. You brain was reacting to the lack of oxygen and was shutting down, you were dying.

 Slowly your fingers slid over his cheeks memorizing how he felt, the soft ridges of his scales and the scar across his lip, the lips you had just got to kiss. His breath was hot against your ear coming in shallower now; the pressure was affecting his ability to breath now too.

 Raphael could feel your fingers glide across his skin, feeling, touching. Then they slowed and stopped halting their exploration falling from their perch on his face. “Y/N?” he gasped the best he could. “Y/N they’re almost here, hold on!” But you were no longer struggling against him; your chest was still now, unmoving. “No! NO!”

 Suddenly everything on top of him began to shift and lift alleviating the pressure and Raphael sucked in dusty but much needed air into his burning lungs. The final piece lifted and three pairs of strong hands lifted him up and onto his feet allowing him to see your lifeless form lying on the cold ground.

 Raphael lunged forward out of his brothers grasp and lifted your limp body into his arms and away from your makeshift tomb. Setting you down quickly he started chest compressions and CPR frantically trying to breath the life back into you.

 Seconds turned into minutes and nothing happened. Your body shifted listlessly below his hands as his three brothers watched anxiously over his shoulder.

 “Come on Y/N, wake up! Please I need you to wake up! Fuck!” he continued his compressions and Donnie’s hand rested on his shoulder.

 “She’s gone Raph; if you keep going you’re going to crush her rib cage.”  

 “No Donnie, I’m not giving up! We just….. I got to…..finally got to kiss her. I’ve wanted to do that since we saw her staring wide eyed at us over a year ago. I wanna…..I wanna do it again.” Raphael leaned down again blowing air into your lungs and finally crumbled under the emotional stress and stopped, leaving his lips covering yours. He pressed his lips one more time to yours kissing you, savoring how you tasted one more time.

 Then without warning your lips responded and your hands lifted encircling his neck pulling him down so you could kiss him deeper, to tasted him better. A shuttering cry left him as he realized you were alive and plunged his tongue into your mouth in pure relief.

 With a pop he pulled free of you looking down at your smiling face. “You’re alive!”

 Allowing him to pull you up into a sitting position you coughed, “I had to give Donnie a report on how his lights fared in their first field test. Plus how could I disappoint you if you wanted another kiss?”

 Raphael growled and closed the distance covering your mouth with his again.

 Donnie looked back and forth to Mikey and Leo and returned his eyes back to you and Raphael, “So how did they do?”

The Sabotage of Simkung House - Part 1

[Stray Kids Multi Fic - 5K Words/20Min. Read - Lee Know x Female Reader - Non-Idol!au, Variety!au - NSFW/Smut, Plot - Reverse Harems, Variety Shows, Secret Hook-Ups]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Masterlist | Feedback

This was your weirdest casting call yet. The assistant was taking the longest time looking back and forth from your headshot to your CV, and it was making you anxious. You could be doing better things on a Thursday night than get scrutinized more than usual. Finally, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of near silence on your end, the assistant motioned for the casting director to come over. This new person looked from the CV, to the headshot, to you, in a repeated loop until they ultimately asked you to stand up, turn in a circle, and walk around the room. You felt like a show dog, but relief finally came as the casting director motioned for you to follow, not leave. Was this your weirdest casting call ever? Probably. Would you pass up an opportunity to sign? Of course not. 

Yet another eager assistant trotted up to intercept you as casting led you down the hall.  “I got this,” he explained, politely shooing away the casting director and redirecting you into a new office. 

“Hi,” he greeted as he sat you in a chair, “so we’re glad you're here. I’m Felix,” he introduced himself, offering you a hand to shake before he sat you in a chair in front of the big desk in the room. He remained standing as he animatedly explained himself. “I’m the assistant for our executive producer. We know this has been a little unorthodox.”

“That's fine! I know some AV producers have really high standards,” you shrugged with a polite smile. You hadn't been shooting adult videos long, but in the time since you started you’d definitely had some weird auditions. None as weird as this, still, but weird nonetheless. 

“Right,” Felix nodded, “we were impressed with your materials. I'm already familiar with your work--” he blurted out before cranking back, biting into his lip as he blushed. You modestly nodded for him to continue. “--but I never realized you had such credentials otherwise. You have a very nice acting resume.”

“I've never needed both before,” you explained apologetically, “so I just left everything on there.”

“No no! It’s better than I could've dreamed of. I had no clue you went to school. And you’re bilingual? I thought I recalled you using English once or twice in streams, but I never realized--” Felix paused again, realizing his continued admission. You nodded for him to get going once again. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” you kindly encouraged, “I’m glad you’re familiar with my work.”

“I am,” he eagerly nodded as he pulled some materials out from a folder sitting on the desk , “And we want you. So can I explain?” He waited for your approval once more before he launched in. We’re casting a new variety show. It’s called Noesengnam House.” The first piece of material he slid across the desk was a logo: a cheesy, bubbly text in front of a silhouette of a chiseled man with a graduation cap on. You raised an eyebrow. However, being enthusiastic was key to landing any gig, so despite any doubts you put on a smile. 

“Alright. So we’re focusing on smart, sexy guys?”

“We’re making smart, sexy guys,” Felix clarifies, and he’s so proud as he passes five headshots across the desk. You’ve always been puzzled by these overenthusiastic assistants, like they have a stake in every good idea so they have to be good. “This is like charm school, but for guys. The catch is they have to get equal marks in all their subjects by the end of the season in order for all of them to win their prizes.”

You got the smallest bit distracted looking over the faces of these five men, wondering how charm school worked as a concept with porn actors. “So the subjects are…?”

“What,” Felix suddenly halted, “not interested in the prizes?”

“I assume it’s money,” you flippantly shrugged, “so what are they supposed to be getting high marks in? I assume I'm working with them, so I'm interested in what they’re doing.”

It was Felix’s turn to shrug. Somehow, he apparently hadn’t predicted this. “The usual: manners, fitness, home economics, academics. They’re all secretly cast to have a specialty, so they have to work together to figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses.”

You finally held up your hands to formally stop him. “I'm sorry,” you politely apologized, “but I think I'm missing something. Where do I fit in?”

“Ah, that's the fun part. We cast them for variety, not for adult content. This will be their first venture.”

“For all of them?” You dubiously marveled, starkly curious how this would affect their performances. Almost no one was ever proud of their first time for more than sentimental reasons. 

“Yes, all of them,” Felix proudly nodded, “in our counterpart series, Simkung House.” He slid a new logo across the desk, the first crossed out and a bubbly pink text replacing it, with the silhouette of a -- no, really -- french maid tickling her duster under the chin of the man in the original design. The cartoon male even had blush added. You raised a sharp eyebrow at Felix. 

“Simkung? Who's the heartthrob, me or them?”

He jokingly waved you off, as if you could dare be so modest. “You, of course. They’re the stars of the daytime show, and you're the star of the nighttime show. Every good dormitory needs a housekeeper.”

“Daytime show?” You asked, backtracking. Your head was starting to swim with details.

“Yes. We actually have a daytime slot for Noesengnam House.”

“And so this--” you tapped on the gaudy pink logo in front of you, “is airing? On television?”

Felix slowed down a second. “Not quite,” he admitted, “it’s an online subscription for a well-negotiated price. Our clientele are loyal, and word of mouth has been our biggest asset.”

“So I just sleep with everyone.”

“Of course not,” Felix grinned, wagging a cheeky finger at you. “You’re working for a prize as well.” He slid a new graphic across the desk, this one a table of information. One row had a heart, the one below had a broken heart, and the one on the bottom simply had a question mark. The zeroes populating the prize side of the infographic made your pulse race. “Our five budding bachelors are all yours for the taking, but they can’t find out about each other. They each have to think they’re the one you chose. If you bed one of them, that’s 50 million won.”

Felix’s grin grew more wicked as your eyes widened.

“If one of them finds out about the others, you’ll lose 60 million won each. So control of information is key.”

“And what’s this?” You asked suspiciously, pointing at the ominous question mark. 

“That,” he explained, “is for added drama being incited. You’ll find out later.”

“So what if I get all five?” You asked, feeling a bit foolish for getting excited.

“Then you get the prize,” Felix said seriously, “There's 500 million won at hand here, but you don't get to earn any of your penalties back for anyone finding out.”

You felt a little nauseous. That much money could get you a modest house, and maybe a car, and maybe all sorts of things. 

“Where’s the contract?” You cautiously asked, not wanting to sound too eager. 

“Of course,” Felix nodded as he pulled out two packets from under his pile of promotional material, one for each show, “I figured you’ll want copies for your manager--”

“I manage myself,” you firmly replied to Felix’s surprise, taking the copies from him and grabbing a pen from your bag. You flipped through, immediately crossing out any transfer of representation and exclusivity clauses. You had to be able to work after this, and you had to be able to keep up your own streams on the side during production if the schedule allowed. Your pen paused as you hit something interesting. 

“What’s this about accommodations?”

“We’ve leased a house for production instead of making a studio more habitable for the cast. You’ll need to be accessible at all times given our schedule.”

“So my stream…?”

“Sadly, you’ll need to take a hiatus,” Felix pouted a little in sympathy, “but we’re confident you’ll find new fans. Now, are you going to use that pen to sign? Or do you want time?”

A miniature war broke out in your head over the prospects, but you quickly tried to decipher why -- the contract practically led in with the fact you’d get five million up front. That would help pay the bills in advance and settle some debt that had sat while money was tight. If you said no, someone else would say yes. You would meet new guys and network, and possibly come out with more money than you had going in. 

You signed. 

---

Felix wasn’t around on your first day on set, but you had his card in case you needed him. You wheeled your one suitcase to the front door of the handsome house, and an assistant immediately herded you to your room, further away from the chaos currently happening in the main living space. The bottom floor of the house mostly contained the impressive home gym, but appeared to also be where the laundry room and your room were located. You noted cameras tucked into all sorts of corners and crevices, some more obvious than others. 

Your room was modest, with a small bathroom attached and its own fair share of cameras around. It was cutely decorated, a little feminine with warm string lights and soft textiles, but not very personal. It could've been any girl's room, but for now, it was yours. Felix had assured you that the cameras in here would only ever be on at night, and always with a signal of one of the bulbs on your string lights blinking. You opened your closet to get a feel of the space and where you could put your things when you saw your uniforms set out for you. A number of soft blouses with coordinating skirts hung on padded hangers, ready for you to mix and match. When you opened the drawers beside them, you found pairs of sensible tights and delicate pantyhose, some patterned and some not. Thankfully, the costumes were pretty sensible. You didn't want to be parading around in a french maid costume, swishing petticoats in boys’ faces or bending at the waist to show off some frilly panties. If the show wanted you to actually seduce these men and do it with some romance and dignity, the modestly cute uniforms would work just fine. You did also bring some of your own clothes, something Felix so graciously insisted upon, so you had options should you grow tired of the same look. 

You unpacked and changed into a pale pink blouse with a black pencil skirt and some grey tights before heading upstairs where you were immediately intercepted by another assistant. 

“Noona,” the younger man politely greeted, “you must be our housekeeper.” You nodded with a smile in return, popping the first button on your blouse when the assistant held up a lavalier mic to clip on. He quickly averted his eyes as you threaded the cord down and around to your back, endearing you, but just a little. 

“What's your name?” You asked, watching for some sound tech to signal that you were fine or needed adjustments. 

“I’m Seungmin, noona. You can let me know if you need anything. For now, we'll get you to a stylist and get you today's pages.” Seungmin showed you upstairs to the attic of the grand house, a de facto control center just above the main floor. A stylist swept you up and sat you in a chair while Seungmin fetched your pages. As the first episode, you would really only get a short introduction with the other staff: a cook, and a valet. For some reason, these cast members didn’t also reside in the house, but you didn’t need to question the producers at the moment and cause trouble. The main cast appeared to be downstairs already getting set for their first takes, their voices muffled through the thick rugs placed on the floor on this level. A text beeped through your phone that you had stashed in the pocket of your apron, and you opened it. 

>How's my star? Ready for your first day? Can I get a picture? I have the big boss here. 

You rolled your eyes at Felix’s antics, but took a reluctantly cute selfie anyhow, even winking for the camera.

>Perfect. It's like your first day of school and I'm so proud lmao. Big boss says to tone down the sass. Clients are more into Hidden Charm. 

A heavy sigh fell from your chest. You were already nervous for your first real variety debut, let alone with the show tonight lurking ahead. Seungmin appeared right next to you, ready to lead you downstairs as the stylist set your hair one last time. 

The lights in the living room were a bit irritating and took a second to adjust to, but the room itself was great. The home was impeccably decorated, modern and smart and just cozy enough to not feel sterile. You were sat next to your other Staff cast members while the main cast finished up in the dining room, your introductions awkward and brief. An errant bead of sweat traveled from the nape of your neck down your back when the rest of the cast were led into the living room, tempting you to shiver until the crew was done setting up. 

You watched, distracted in the middle of rising from your seat when the cast filed in from the dining room down the hall, stretching and chatting as they took a quick break. The boys all had on some coordinating iteration of the same uniform, capitalizing on the ‘college boys in their dorm’ concept the show was toying with. First was Minho, a perfectly pressed crease undisturbed on his slacks despite filming all morning, and his sleeves bundled up over his hands as he nonchalantly entered the room and immediately took a seat on the couch. Next came Jisung, glasses gradually sliding too low and one end of his necktie a little too short. Changbin followed, looking down his long nose at a loose thread on his sweater vest, with Hyunjin right behind stopping him to fuss over it himself. He stooped down to see better and brazenly reached under the material to pull the loose thread back through before being prodded along by Chan pulling up the rear. Hyunjin straightened up, smoothing out his blazer and adjusting his beret before joining the rest of the boys on the long sofa, Minho now having scooted off to sit on a tufted ottoman. Chan casually rerolled his shirt sleeves and brushed a hand through his ashy blonde hair, opting to stand until the crew was ready. The assistant director stepping in to run down the scene finally pulled you out of your reverie. Clearly, your co-stars’ headshots didn't do them justice, but did they think the same of yours?

The scene was simple: following the round-table of introductions in the previous scene, the cast meets the staff before picking roommates. That was it, that was your big debut, and for some reason it was nerve-wracking. You and the staff all nodded greetings before filming even began, before you took your marks off camera. The boys were all polite, but none of them treated you with any familiarity. You would have to remember to ask Felix if they actually had seen your headshot before coming to set. 

Finally, cameras rolled. As the Seniors of the group, Minho and Chan led the discussion, but Chan was clearly filling his role as the show’s host. He spoke well, and with plenty of charm, but something definitely struck you as odd about him. You just couldn’t pinpoint what. Your cue snapped you out of your train of thought and you suddenly remembered you were nervous, just as you walked on set and into the irritating lights. The valet introduced himself first, and then the cook, and, to your horror… You forgot your cheesy intro line. 

What was it?

Amazing. Your first shot would require a reshoot, and it would be because of a flub. 

You momentarily floundered, opting instead to roll with it and improvise. 

“Hello, boys,” you beamed as you greeted them, “I’m your housekeeper. Keep a good home while you're here, since I'll be the one cleaning it. I hope you have nothing to hide.” You topped it off with a wink, and the boys all shared a momentary air of surprise. You didn't blame them -- it was awkward, cringy, and too ‘sassy.’ The Big Boss probably hated it. 

But the boys laughed. Actually laughed. The take finished without any more problems, and the stylist ran up to reset your hair between takes. 

“Was it bad?” You whispered as she touched up your makeup. 

“No, I liked it!” She smiled, reassuring you a little. In fact, the AD asked you to run it again the way you had, surprised you could improvise at all. The retake went more smoothly, and you finally allowed yourself a sigh of relief as the scene cut for transition. 

As the boys finally wrapped up, you set about your other duties. When the cameras weren't formally set and manned, the planted cameras caught plenty of action from the boys. The valet had it easy; he was come-and-go as the plot necessitated, but you and the cook actually worked. Your contract outlined that while the boys were usually “on” from eight o'clock to eight o'clock, that you were an actual part-timer during the day and working at night. You could “work” your show during the day, but you couldn't interfere with the daytime activities. If you were needed as a housekeeper during the day, then that was priority, and these bookshelves apparently came with dust on them. You set about dusting as the boys transitioned from their scripted work to more casual filming. They each gave you a look as they filed back out of the living room to get set up in their rooms. Some expressions were cryptic, Hyunjin and Chan especially, but some were clear, like Minho’s small grin as he subtly looked you up and down as you reached for a tall shelf. Not wanting to shy away from an opportunity, you smiled back. 

The rest of your day was pretty simple, all things considered. You dusted and swept and tidied up a little, but since all five men had just started living in the house, there wasn’t much else at the moment. The house calmed down considerably as the huge crew dispersed for the day, now resembling just a mostly normal home. You hung out and snacked in your room as you heard everyone eating upstairs, only emerging once you heard their chairs scooting free of the dinner table. At that moment, one of the bulbs on your string lights blinked three times and then turned off. 

You immediately straightened up where you sat in bed and cheerily waved at the camera. Felix had outlined that you would never have to do much talking if you didn’t feel like it. You rose from your bed, turning to fix the bow in your apron before heading out of your room, giving the camera an extra wave. As you turned to ascend the stairs, a figure landed right on the bottom step in front of you, making you jump with a startled laugh. 

“Chan--!” You gasped into a giggle. “I'm so sorry, you surprised me.”

“I’m sorry, noona, I’ll be more careful,” he nodded cordially as he briskly moved to step around you. You quickly took note of the basket in his hands. 

“Wait!” You jumped back in front of him. “You don’t have to do your own laundry, you know. Besides, you already have some on night one?” You held your hands open for him to set the basket into and he hesitated before reluctantly giving it up to you. 

“It’ll take some getting used to, noona, thank you. I just wanted to take care of my uniform and my street clothes from before I got to set.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled warmly despite his stiff demeanor, turning heel back towards the laundry room as Chan hesitated again before heading back up the stairs. Working quickly, you set about separating the meager pile of laundry and getting them started on washing before you returned to your original plan and headed upstairs yourself. 

Through the living room was the dining room, and beyond that was the kitchen down the hall. You peered in, spying a sink full of dishes from dinner. You pulled on some gloves and got to washing when your ears perked up at the sound of the kitchen door swinging open. Just like that, your assumption was right: someone had to be a late-night snacker in the cast. And, of course, it was Minho. 

“I'm sure you could’ve eaten with us if you wanted,” Minho slyly grinned as he pulled open a cabinet and peered inside. His uniform was swapped out for a much comfier number, a simple henley shirt and pajama pants. The thin layers hugged the subtle outlines of his figure and suggested that despite his casual nature, he still put in effort for his looks. He came away from the cabinet with a box of cookies and offered it to you. You smiled and silently declined. 

“I appreciate that, Minho, but I'm just the help.”

“Yeah, but you’re pretty,” he said bluntly, quietly picking the box open, “and I feel like we could be friends.”

You watched, quietly impressed with how cool Minho could be. He silently, nonchalantly took a bite of a cookie and offered you a bite of the same. Could you really say no to an advance like that? 

Sure you could. Where was the fun in making it easy? You spied a camera in the corner of the kitchen, tucked under the hanging cabinets. Stepping aside, Minho instinctively circled with you, opening your conversation up for the camera. 

“It’s only the first night, Minho,” you teasingly scolded as you leaned forward and took a bite of the proffered cookie, “you shouldn't be so eager.”

Minho surprised you again, his thumb instantly at your lip and cleaning off a crumb you hadn't even felt. 

“Are you sure you're just the help?” He laughed quietly. “You don't act like it.”

“I can act however you want me to,” you teased back, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at your little repartee. You locked gazes as you let his thumb caress your bottom lip, watching for his reaction when dipped your chin to take the digit between your lips for just a moment. You took a step back, leaning back against the counter. His turn now. Minho set the box of cookies down, a devilish grin tugging at his lip as he stepped closer. 

When the door swung open once again. You both rapidly turned away from each other, your hands plunging back into the sink and Minho turning back to the cabinets. Changbin blinked at the two of you. 

“‘Sup,” Minho cheerily greeted, “I'm making myself something to eat. Want anything?”

“Nah,” Changbin shook his head as his eyes darted between the two of you before settling on the box of cookies on the counter. He stiffly reached between you both and grabbed it. “I'll be just fine with this. Unless you wanted--?”

“No, thanks, that's fine, like I said, making myself something,” Minho enthusiastically prattled on, making himself look busy as he started facetiously searching for pans in the bottom cabinets under the counter. Changbin raised an eyebrow before shrugging, popping open the box of cookies and digging in as he left the kitchen. 

A beat passed in the silence as you both waited for Changbin’s footsteps to disappear, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything before you felt Minho press up behind you where you stood at the sink. You let yourself have a small smile as he reached his arms around you, grabbing a kitchen towel and pulling your hands out of the sink to dry them. His head leaned down over your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck as he took his time before you grew impatient. You leaned back against his chest, opening up your neck for him. Minho breathed you in and brushed your hair back, the impression of his smirk pressed into you as his lips brushed against the delicate skin. 

You turned in his arms, playfully pushing him back a couple inches by the hips, and he instantly stepped closer, getting on with it already and driving his lips against yours. His flannel pajama pants did next to nothing to hide his growing erection he was currently grinding into your thigh. You kissed him deep, readily spreading your legs for him as his hands searched you and played with the hem of your skirt. 

“Right here?” You asked coyly. 

“As if we weren't pushing for that this whole time already,” Minho chuckled as he kissed you up and back against the counter. He spun you back around, pressing your hips against the sink as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. “Say it,” he implored. 

“Fuck me,” you replied breathlessly, gasping as Minho immediately pulled your skirt up around your hips and bent you over the sink, his fingers dipping below the waist of your tights and tugging them down. His fingertips probed your dripping entrance from behind and you gave an encouraging moan for him to continue. “What,” you grinned back over your shoulder, “chickening out?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting this,” he teased, “you sure you want it? You did say it's the first night.”

“Give it to me,” you said adamantly. Minho smiled back as he pulled out his hard length. One hand gripped your hip as he guided himself in, groaning as your depths took him deep. You squeaked out a surprised moan when he bottomed out before both his hands were on your hips now and pulling you deeper around him. 

You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from getting too loud as Minho fucked you over the sink, his hips bucking hard against you as his length filled you up. Once he set a reliable rhythm, one hand crept lower, between your legs to caress your clit as he fucked you.

“I want to make you cum,” Minho gritted behind you, “tell me how and I'll do it.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing and you will,” you taunted. 

Minho seemed pleased with your answer, his fingers still rubbing firm circles on your clit as his cock drove in and out of you even faster. You pushed your hips back against his, gripping the counter hard as the refined angle helped hit your spot more consistently. Minho let out a deep groan at the sound of your quickening whimpers, the sound of you approaching your orgasm making it difficult for him to keep up his own pace. 

“Minho,” you gasped, “I’m gonna--!”

You threw your head back as you cried out, quickly muffled when Minho pressed his own hand over your mouth. He kept it there, his other hand still holding firm onto your hip as he fucked you through your orgasm and on his way to his own. You whined and moaned into his palm, the way his own desperate groans combined with his stuttering grip on you making you lightheaded. He came hard, suddenly, emptying himself inside you as he gritted out hushed curses and panted breaths. 

You both stayed there, connected at the hips before Minho pulled out and brought you back up from the ledge of the sink. It was sweet, the way he helped put you back together and kissed your cheek. 

“Thanks,” he panted with a grin, still catching his breath, “hope this won’t make anything weird.”

“Of course not,” you smiled back as you brushed your fingers through your hair, “we can even do it again some time if you’d like.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. What’re friends for?” You winked, and Minho’s laugh was almost bashful as he playfully nudged your shoulder. His hand lingered on yours before he gave a cute wave and finally walked out of the kitchen. 

You waited a beat for Minho’s footsteps to disappear before you found the closest camera in the corner of the kitchen and gave it a wave and a smile. You finished the dishes and left them to dry and exited the kitchen, nearly screaming in surprise as you ran right into someone. 

Another assistant, blinking in surprised relief and taking a deep breath. 

“Well done, noona,” the assistant laughed quietly. 

“Who are--”

“Jeongin, noona, sorry.”

“Where have you been hiding?” You asked, bewildered. 

“Upstairs in the control room. I come in when the day crew leaves to help supervise in case you need anything.” He handed you a bottle of water and you nodded your gratitude, uncapping and taking a sip as you looked him over. He was an actual infant. He must've gotten roped into the industry right out of school. “Any other plans tonight?”

“Don’t think so,” you chuckled. “The show won’t be much fun if I get everything done in one week.”

“Sounds good, noona. You’ll be getting some rest then?” 

“Sure will.” You waved goodbye to the assistant as he crept back up the stairs and you headed down towards your room, making a quick stop to make a change over in Chan’s laundry for him. 

You stripped down in the comfort of your room, waving as the camera blinked on and you pulled on your pajamas. The sheets were welcoming as you crawled into bed, blowing a kiss to your viewers before the camera blinked back off. Your phone buzzed with a text from Felix as your eyelids grew heavy. 

>Good show tonight. Great start. The big boss loved it. Can you wear the dark blue blouse tomorrow? I want to see if it looks better than the pink. And don't make tonight a habit. We gotta keep things interesting. ;)

You sighed, now suddenly curious how you would “keep things interesting” between all five boys and wondering who would be next. 

All I Had - Part 8 (Final)

Summary: Savitar kidnaps reader because in the future she was his lover, she was there for him when everyone rejected him. However, she died and now he’s in the present seeking revenge from the team while finding a way to be with her again.

Pairings: Savitar!Barry x reader

Word count: 2292

A/N: Well, it seems that most of you really wanted the next part to All I Had, so here it is! This is the end of this series and I wanted to say thank you so much to everybody who read it and supported it! I’d love to know about your thoughts on it! Now I plan on continuing my other series x

Part 1 |  Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Masterlist

Everything was blank. All that could be heard was the beeping of the cardiac monitor in the distance, almost fading away. Savitar wanted to move but he couldn’t, he felt trapped by something stronger than him, like a force pulling him down and keeping him in place.

“Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?”, he was thinking to himself. “Why can’t I talk? Why can’t I get up?” were all words running through his head and he could do nothing about them. It was agonizing.

All of a sudden he felt a very heavy gust of air filling his lungs. He was able to inhale deeply and while doing so his eyes shot open, making him abruptly sit up on the stretcher while panting. The beeping was louder and clearer now, piercing through his ears. He started to slowly stretch his fingers, making sure that he had control of his movements. He became aware of the tubes on his arm and up his nose, also the electrodes that covered his bare chest.

He started looking around and making sense of where he was and what was happening at the moment. The room was empty, but he was sure he was at STAR Labs, more specifically in the room where you had shared your last moments together.

Not even sure if his voice would come out, he took a chance and started calling for someone.

“Hello?”, but there was no answer. “Hello? I’m here!”, he called as loud as he could, but still nothing. He began feeling desperate.

Breathing heavily he shifted in bed and tried to get up but, before he could, something caught his attention. He heard footsteps, heavy ones that sounded like the person was running. Suddenly the door burst open and his green eyes met yours. You stood there with your hand on the knob for a minute looking at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Slowly, it shifted into a smile.

“Savitar?”, you asked quietly.

“Y/N!”, he answered excitedly, a huge grin spread on his face.

“Oh my God!”, with tears glimmering your eyes, you rapidly entered the room and made your way to him, stopping beside the stretcher. “Is it really you? You’re alive!”, you craddled his face between your hands as teardrops ran down your cheeks.

“I guess I am!”, he chuckled, wrapping his hands around your wrists. “Did- did your plan work? What happened?”.

“Well, I wasn’t sure before but now...I think it did!”, you said happily, still a little surprised. “I’ll go get the team and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”.

He nodded, but before you could leave he pulled you back by the hand and pecked your lips. You smiled and made your way to the door, running to the cortex to send emergency signals to your friends’ cellphones. Ever since the incident with Savitar you stayed day and night at the lab, even after everybody left.

Barry and Iris were obviously the first ones to get there, followed by Cisco and Caitlin. As soon as they entered the room the surprise was evident on their faces, so much that Savitar quirked an eyebrow at them.

While starting the conversation and filling him in, you carefully removed his IVs and Caitlin proceeded to do a quick examination, measuring his blood pressure and cardiac frequency. You tossed him a STAR Labs t-shirt so he could cover up and sat beside him on the bed.

"I've really been in a coma for 3 weeks?", he asked, still a little confused.

"Yeah", you responded. "I guess I didn't calculate the regeneration process correctly. It took a liiiittle longer than I expected".

"So, it was really Barry's cells that saved me? They really made my organism like his?".

"Well, see it for yourself", Cisco smirked while handing him his cellphone with the front camera opened.

Savitar took it a little confused and when he focused it on his face, he was shocked. His face was just like Barry's, smooth as a baby, no more scars or marks. He touched the part of his cheek where the scars used to be and looked at you with big eyes.

"Wow..."

"Yeah", you chuckled. "I guess that's our confirmation that it worked just fine".

"Thanks to you", he smiled, taking your hand in his. "I'm proud of you".

"We all are, Y/N!” Iris said with a grin and they all agreed.

"Thanks, guys!” you replied blushing a little.

"So... what happens now?” Barry asked.

"I don't know. We take Savitar as your long lost twin and move on with our lives?", Cisco suggested with a joking tone.

“Right”, Barry laughed.

"I kinda of agree with that, actually", you said. "We keep going. If anyone asks, we say he's the brother Barry only recently found out he has".

"You wanna put a ‘Parent Trap’ on us?", he asked and you shrugged. "...Okay", he said a little hesitant. "If you think this will work, then we're bros now", Barry patted Savitar's back with a smile.

"Yeah, don't push it", Savitar said dryly.

"Right, sorry", he said quickly pulling his hand back and you chuckled.

Savitar looked up at you and smiled, maintaining his stare on you.

"Ahem", Iris cleared her throat. "We should probably...", she said pointing at the door, glancing at everybody.

"Oh yeah!", Barry agreed. "We'll be in the cortex if you need us", he winked at you and you rolled your eyes, a smile spread on your face for knowing exactly what they were doing.

After they closed the door behind them, Savitar looked at you and smirked.

"So...".

"So...”, you repeated, giggling lightly.

"What now?” he questioned while caressing your hand.

"Well, you pretty much got a second chance at life so, you can do whatever you want!” you said excitedly. "But we should probably wait a while to make sure that everything is really okay".

"Yeah...” he sighed. ”How do you start over your life completely, though? I didn't even have goals before, how do you just make them from scratch?".

"I think first you should stop and think about what you want your life to be like now", you started, positioning yourself better on the bed to look at him. "It's like those silly questions, like 'where do you see yourself five years from now?’. Envision that and go after what you see".

"You are such a smart ass, Y/N Y/L/N", he said chuckling.

"It's true!” you laughed. "Try it! What do you see? Anything you really want?”.

"Well, I can see only one thing I really want", he said seriously looking at you and you smirked. 

"And what would that be?”, you dared to ask.

He brought his hand to hold your waist and pull you closer to him, finally ending the distance between your lips. As soon as they touched you both let out a relieved sigh. You wrapped your arms around his neck while one of his hands held the side of your face. Your tongues intertwined and they danced around in a passionate kiss. You got lost in each other for a few minutes before stopping for some air.

"That's a good start", you whispered, licking your lips. 

"I know, right? I think it's a great goal", he said smugly and you laughed, playfully smacking his shoulder. 

"It's definitely something", you both smiled.

You laid your head on his chest and wrapped your arm around his torso, him doing the same on your shoulder. You stayed like that in silence for a moment, his rubbing circles on your arm soothing you. 

"I was thinking", he broke the silence and you lifted up your face to look at him. "Do you think they would let me stay here in the lab until I figure something out?".

"Well, I was actually thinking you could stay with me".

"Really?” he asked surprised.

"Yeah", you smiled softly.

"Wow. I mean, I would love that, but..."

"What?".

"Isn't that too fast? I don't want to pressure you about, you know, us".

"Savitar", you laughed. "We're not getting married, calm down".

"I know, I know", he chuckled. "It's just...I started wrong with you, terribly wrong, you have a really bad first impression of me, and if we're making this work, I want it to be the right way. I don't want to make you feel forced to anything like I did before". 

"Hey", you took both of his hands in yours. "I'm not feeling pressured at all, okay? I want to make this work on my own account", you smiled. "Now, it's just that you need a place to stay where you'll have company in case of an emergency and I have a room to spare at my place, so".

 "Are you sure?”, he asked grinning.

 "I'm sure. And, you know, if you ever get tired of my face then we can arrange something for you in here", you joked bouncing your eyebrows.

 "I doubt that's going to be a problem", he scrunched up his nose, leaning in to quickly kiss your lips again. "Thank you. For everything".

 "You are very welcome", you grinned and returned his kiss.

 You talked a little bit more about these arrangements and then left to meet everybody in the cortex. Caitlin took Savitar because she wanted to run a few more detailed tests to check his health. Everything seemed to be going fine so she released him to go with you. 

“You will be needing fresh clothes and well, since we’re the same person, I thought some of mine would fit you just fine”, Barry said handing him a backpack with some items.

“Thank you, bro”, Savitar replied as he took the bag, stretching his hand to him. Barry smiled and shook his hand, nodding his head. “Thanks to all of you, actually. It was unbelievable what you guys did for me. I’ll be sticking around so I can’t wait to make up to you for my mistakes. Again, I'm really sorry for everything”.

They all smiled and welcomed him to the group with handshakes and pats on the back, which made him very happy and slightly embarrassed for all the sudden attention. Apart from you he never really received any from anybody, so this was definitely a new feeling for him. He could warm up to it, though.

After a while you said your goodbyes and decided to head to your place. He offered to rush you both there but you suggested a calm walk to take in some fresh air and sunlight. You walked holding hands, appreciating every little step together. 

You finally got to your house and as soon as you unlocked the door you both made your way inside. 

"Wow", he said looking around, his expression a little more confused than impressed.

"What is it?".

"Well, let's just say your taste will change a little bit in the future".

You arched your eyebrows and opened your mouth to say something, but gave up. 

"You know what? I don't even wanna know. Let's let it happen". He let out a chuckle and nodded in agreement. 

You took him upstairs to the guest room where he would be staying and showed him around, helping him unpack and find a space to put the things Barry had given him. He decided to take a shower afterwards and you took this time to make some dinner for you two.

Everything was already set on the table when he came down the stairs to meet you in the kitchen, looking fresh and clean. 

"Did you find everything alright?", you greeted with a small smile. 

"Yeah, thanks, I needed that. I feel brand new".

"You definitely look like it", you commented and he smirked. "If you want to sit down, I'm already bringing the food. I made some pasta, I promise is not mac'n'cheese from a box", he laughed.

"Oh, thank God", he joked. "It's a good thing I'm here now because I can police all the crap you eat".

"No, you can't because I'm gonna hide all my crap", you said with a stern look on your face. "Now sit down to eat".

"Yes, ma'am".

You both had a nice dinner together and talked a lot during it. Savitar offered to do the dishes afterwards and then you sat in the living room to watch some TV, you laying down on his lap while he ran his fingers through your hair. When it got late you went to your bedrooms, stopping in the hallway to have a goodnight's kiss. 

In the middle of the night, when you were sleeping lightly, you suddenly heard a knock on your door. You groggy responded and the door opened, Savitar’s eyes peeking through the crack.

"Hey", he said quietly.

"Is everything okay?".

"Yeah...I just can't sleep".

"Do you want to stay here?", you asked sitting up on the bed.

"Can I?", he asked a little timid. You responded by lifting the covers and patting the side of the bed. He smiled at you and made his way inside, slowly laying down next to you. You covered the both of you and laid down facing him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He did the same and kissed your forehead. Your fingers traced soothing circles on his back and he quickly started falling asleep. You smiled looking at his sleepy face and followed in his slumber right after. 

You were all excited that things worked out and in the end nobody got hurt. You were able to save your friends and find love, an unexpected but true love. Both you and Savitar were waiting to see where life would take you, but, right now, you just needed to rest, relieved. Everything else could be planned in the morning.  

I Still Love You

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Description: Dean Winchester is reminded of a love he left behind to search for his father thirteen years ago. What happens when he takes a chance reaching out to her to rekindle the feelings he has for her?

Warnings: Fluffiest fluff to ever fluff.

Word Count: 2426

Song Choice: “Break Up with Him” – Old Dominion

A/N: @carryonmywaywardcaptain CarryOnCap500 writing challenge. Lyrics are in bold. This is my first writing challenge and only the second fanfic I have posted on here. A little nervous… but pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Sorry for any mistakes within in this, I tried hard to make sure there were not any but I am only human. Hope everyone enjoys this!

Ever since that damn song came on Dean could not get the image of her out of his head. Sam had been listening to the radio in the kitchen as he was making lunch. Passing by to go to his room he heard the familiar tune of a country song that at one point was one of his favorites. Ever since that faithful moment he had left her in the dead of night with a letter explaining everything. Driving from the University of New Orleans to Stanford it was the only song he listened to and after that he never listened to it again. When he heard the chorus coming from the kitchen his heart dropped breaking into a million pieces. 

Dean walked quickly to his room shutting the door behind him. He pulled out a ratty shoe box being held together by duct tape. He was the only one who knew he had it and the contents inside of it. Dean had not opened it in years with everything that had been going on in life. He sat down on his bed with the box and grabbed his phone. He synced his Bluetooth headphones to it and looked up ‘My Wish’ by Rascal Flatts on YouTube. The music and lyrics overwhelmed him like a waterfall flowing over him. He pulled out the cassette tape she had made specifically for him. The writing on the label faded slightly from sitting for so long. There was a napkin with her name and phone number on it from the night he met her. Then there were two pictures of them together looking like a normal happy couple. 

The first picture was taken on their second date where her friends crashed it not believing she was going on a date. Her roommate snapped a picture when Dean had leaned over firmly planting a kiss on her cheek as she was laughing. The second picture was a series of photos from a photo booth. She wanted to go to a local carnival and he wanted to make her happy in any way he could. He won her a stuff bear at a shooting game that was unfair for him to play being the experienced hunter he was. They went on all the rides at least twice and then she spotted the photo booth. She dragged him inside the tiny booth sitting on his lap for both of them to fit comfortably. The first picture they simply smiled at the camera. The second picture he rolled his eyes as she pushed his face away with her hand. Her adorable face was scrunched up and her pouty full lips were puckered. The third picture she was kissing his cheek and he had a big goofy smile spread wide across his face. The finally picture was his favorite. He had turned to her and brought her lips down to his. Her hands were in his hair as one of his was in hers. The kiss had last much longer than it took to take the picture and it was someone knocking on the booth that brought them both back to reality. 

Seeing the pictures brought a small smile to Dean’s face. The only items left in the box were letters, love notes and drawings that she had left for him over the three-month period he stayed in New Orleans. A voodoo healer had brought him into town that within two weeks he was able to take care of. He was having a celebratory drink or two at a local college bar when she had walked into his life. What was supposed to be a one-night thing turned into a three month stay in which was the longest he ever stayed in one town. He kept in contact with his dad each week until he received a message from him that worried Dean. For a week he tried to get ahold of him and when he could not he knew he need to find him. Going out to find him meant leaving her and the agonizing pain that brought him was worse than any monster could inflict on him. He would never be able to face her and say goodbye so he did what he did best. In the middle of the night after making love to her one last time he left her a letter explaining everything and he packed up his bag leaving the one woman he loved more than any other.

Dean put everything back into the shoe box sliding it under his bed and laid back listening to the song on repeat. His dreams were filled of memories and what could have been if he had stayed. After waking up for the third or fourth time Dean decided to get up and go into the library of the Men of Letters Bunker. His laptop was still in the spot he left it and he turned it on intended to watch Netflix or something to take his mind off her. An hour later he had search every search engine he had access to finding out everything he could on her. She was never married, but from her social media pages she was dating someone. She was a published author, blogger and book editor in Chicago. He found her address and phone number writing everything down in his journal. She looked happy and she was more beautiful now than thirteen years ago. Dean shut down his computer and went back to his room with his journal. He paced around for an hour before he got fed up and decided to take action.

He left Sam a note explaining he need a few days to himself to clear his head. Packing his duffel with clothes, charging cords, his laptop and the ratty old shoe box he left the Bunker for the eleven hour trip to Chicago. He popped in the old cassette she made him and this time he was no longer sad hearing the song, but determined. Dean’s life was one crap show after another and he knew anyone that was close to him could be in harm’s way. He sacrificed his own happiness to personally take on the task of saving the world from monsters. He had been down every dark path there was, died multiple times, was a demon and loss too many friends and family to count. For once in his life he was choosing his happiness over anyone else’s. Even if it was just to see her or hear her only once again. He had to make sure she was happy and beg her to forgive him.

Once he arrived in Chicago he searched out where she worked and found there was a coffee shop nearby she frequently visited. Thankfully, it was warm in Chicago so Dean wore a simple black t-shirt with dark denim jeans and a black ball-cap with dark Ray Bans. He sat outside sipping his black coffee and watching people walking by. That is when he saw her walking across the street with two other ladies. Her (Y/H/C) hair was pulled back and she wore a simple cream colored blouse with a black flowing skirt that came down to her knees. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the warm weather and her (Y/E/C) eyes were shining brightly in the midday sun. She walked into the coffee shop and Dean lowered his sunglasses to get a better look at her. She was gorgeous and it took everything in Dean to stay in his seat. She walked out with her friends and sat at the table behind him. Easily he could hear everything they were talking about.

“(Y/N) what is going on with you and Oliver lately?” She sighed, “I don’t know. I like him a lot but there is just something missing. You know?” Both of her friends groaned. “No, we don’t know. Oliver has everything you ever want in a man. He’s successful, financially stable, fun to be around and drop dead gorgeous. What else is missing?” She laughed and it was music to Dean’s ears. He shifted slightly taking another drink of his coffee. “I know, I know. Oliver is perfect and I think that is what the problem is. I don’t necessarily want someone perfect. I want someone to sweep me off my feet and make impulsive decisions with. I want someone to lay their head in my lap as I read a manuscript and take stupid pictures together.” Her friends must have made a face because she started laughing again. “Don’t judge me. There is a guy out there who will do that with me and I just haven’t found him yet. Until he comes along I will keep on dating seeing if I can find him.” The three of them got up walking across the street again. Dean took off his glasses with a smile on his face brighter than the sun.

Sitting in his motel room, with a few shots of whiskey in him, he was staring at his phone. “Come on, Dean. You can do this. Just call her.” He looked at the time seeing it was a little after eleven o’clock, but knowing her she would still be up working. Finally, he dialed her number and on the third ring she picked up, “Hello?” Dean paused for a moment enjoying the sound of her voice, “Hey girl, what’s up?” He heard her take in a sharp breath. “Dean?” she asked breathlessly. “I know it’s late, but I knew you’d pick it up. How are you, (Y/N)?” He asked starting to pace around his room. “Seriously, you’re calling me after thirteen years?! Are you drunk or something?” (Y/N) was mad and she had every right to be. “Naw, I ain’t drunk. Okay, maybe I do have a little buzz but that song came on and I just thought what harm could come from one little call?” She sighed in frustration and finally asked, “Dean, why are you calling me after so long?”

He took a long drink from the bottle of whiskey for a little courage. “Like I said, I heard our song and I looked you up. I wanted to see that you’re happy and taken care of.” The was silence on the other end of the phone, “(Y/N)?” She finally said something, “You always did have the worst timing ever. I’m with someone Dean. He’s a great guy who could take care of me if I didn’t have memories of you and of us floating in my head from my college days.” Her tone was harsh and he flinched slightly. “I know you say you’re taken, but what if I said that night was the biggest mistake of my life. The one thing in my life I regret most of all.” She muttered a few choice words, “It’s too late Dean. Like I said I am with someone what am I supposed to do, huh?” Dean ran his large hand through his sandy brown hair, “To tell him that it’s over. Then bring it on over. Stringing him along any longer girl, it’s just wasting precious time. Girl, you know it can’t wait. Rip it off just like a band-aid. The way you look at me, girl, you can’t pretend. I know you ain’t in love with him, break up with him.” She let out a laugh that made him smile, “Are you serious? Yeah, I’ll just break up with him. Tell him my boyfriend from thirteen years ago, who dumped me in a letter without saying goodbye, wants me back.” He loved it when she was sarcastic and angry. She was only like that when she was passionate about something.

“C'mon you can’t deny that you and I kinda fit like a glove. So, tell him that it’s over.” Dean boldly said. Taking another drink from his bottle he continued, “I know that you so done with him, break up with him. Break up with him. You would’ve hung up by now if you weren’t thinking it too. No pressure, whatever, just do what you gotta do, but if I was you I’d tell him that it’s over. Then bring it on over here. I’m staying at Lake Shore Motel just outside of downtown Chicago. Room 24. If you decide you can forgive me and want to give us a try then I’ll be here until tomorrow afternoon. If not, then don’t show up and I will leave you alone for good.” There was silence on the other end. “Goodnight Dean.” Before he could say anything else she hung up. Dean looked down at his phone slightly shocked. A huge part of him felt he deserved her angry, but deep down he was hopeful to see her one more time.

The next morning, he woke up with a dull headache. He got up showering and getting dressed in his normal attire. He walked down the street to a local diner to grab some breakfast and much needed coffee. He kept checking his phone wishing for (Y/N) to call. He sent a text to Sam letting him know he was okay. Dean paid for his meal and started walking back to the motel. He was rolling up his flannel sleeves when he noticed someone leaning up against his 1967 Chevy Impala. The closer he got he realized it was (Y/N) in a pair of denim shorts with a white tank top and flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tied around her waist. She turned towards him as she heard him approaching. Her beautiful hair was swaying in the breeze and her eyes were covered by her sunglasses.

“I still love you. Even after all the crap you pulled on me down in New Orleans, I still love you. Instead of spending my week of vacation in the Bahamas with, my now ex-boyfriend, Oliver. You now have a week to make up for the last thirteen years of dating men who would never live up to you. So, pretty boy, you better bring your A-game because you have a tough job ahead of you.” Dean smirked, quickly closing the distance between them pulling her into his strong arms as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m up for the challenge starting with this.” He leaned down kissing her as if his life depended on it. When he finally pulled away she was breathless and smiling brightly. “By the way, I still love you too.” He said chuckling as she reached up kissing him again.

Chapter 2

Never Trust a Roommate

After several, rather boring days passed, Friday finally rolled around.  All day I was filled with nervous excitement, as I usually was the day of a job. As dusk fell, I packed my things into the small backpack I had brought with me.  I stuck my books on the desk.  I wouldn't need them anymore.  Aside from the books, I checked my room to make sure I hadn't left a trace.  I told my roommates I was going to go get snacks from The Stake, which was St. Joan's on-campus café, before heading off to a study session which didn't actually exist.  They were both going to see their Philosophy professor to ask him some questions, which meant they weren't going to be asking me questions about why my room was bare.

We all left at the same time.  Elizabeth and Sarah turned left down the sidewalk towards the school buildings, and I turned right which was the direction of Stake.   

Eventually, my path changed direction, and I found myself in front of the St. Joan's Archives.    Despite never having been in the building, I knew the ground plan by heart.  I used the I.D. card I had been given on my first day to get in, then went up to the receptionist's desk.  To my misfortune, the cheery lady behind the counter was Ms. Jackson.   "Michaela!  How are you?  Are you enjoying St. J's?  Joined any clubs yet?  I know on my first week I-"   She continued to blather on.  I looked up to the ceiling, ignoring her.  3.  There were three security cameras in the lobby.  I looked back down, and my eyes bore into the polished oak of the floor as my fist clenched.  3 cameras......2 cameras....1 camera....  I glanced up just in time to see the last camera twitch and lurch forward on its perch.  The corner of my mouth lifted ever so slightly.  Step one was done.   I didn't have much time.  According to my research, I had approximately 1 minute before someone brought the cameras back online.  "And then my friend Kelly drank the entire keg.  We didn't think she could do it, but she did and," Ms. Jackson continued on a tangent I wasn't paying attention to.  Step two.  I leaned over the desk to the chair where she was sitting.  Quickly, I extended my index finger to her forehead.  "What are you-" the blonde woman started to ask, realizing the strangeness of my behavior, before she twitched slightly.  Her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped back into her chair, unconscious.  She was going to be out for a while, and when she did wake, she wouldn't remember any of our conversation. I jumped over the desk to the little pager sitting next to the computer.  It looked like a really large telephone with quite a few buttons on it.  Each button had a name printed on it, except for one which had 'All' written in nice script printed underneath it.  This was the button I pressed after I stuck earplugs in.  A pleasant ding, ding sounded through the building, in every room, every backroom, every guard headpiece.  I had the ears of the whole archives.  I put my hand on the pager and scrunched up my face.  Immediately, an electronic screeching came through the speakers, and many people yelled out from all over the place.  The screeching continued and continued at agonizing volumes for just under a minute. I took my hand off the pager.  That should do it...  And indeed, there was no more yelling, no tramping feet to see what the issue was, nothing but-  "Ah...silence," I commented to no one in particular, taking my earplugs out. I turned off the 'All' button and clenched my fist once more, this time tighter.  There was a loud POP, and the entire building went dark.  The cameras went down, the lights went off, security was down, and the computers were all gone.  It was just me.  With the computers down as well, no one would be receiving any reports of a sudden loss to the power in this building.  That, I made sure of. I poked Ms. Jackson on my way out and she fell out of her wheelie-chair and fell to the floor.   "Aww...that's gonna leave a bruise," I giggled almost-evilly. I ducked into the bathroom to change.  Even though no one was around to see me, it still felt awkward changing in the open. When I re-emerged, I was no longer in the crimson, gold, and grey uniform of St. Joan's.  Almost everything I wore was black: my combat boots, my cargo pants, my vest, gloves, even the elastic tying my hair back was black.  The only things that weren't designed to melt into the darkness were my coat, and a gold sash tied around my waist.  My coat was a long grey trench coat, minus the sleeves, which had been cut off and hemmed.  I had made it myself, and it was my most prized possession. I pulled a rope out of my pocket first, checking its durability, and then I took a small, tube-like object out of the other pocket.  I flicked a switch on the cylinder, and suddenly there was a pop and an electric hum.  The smell of ozone filled the air as I smiled.  A large bow made out of contained blue lightning had sprung to life in my hands.  On the cylinder, my hands ran over the etching of the name: Nimbus. Alright.  Let's do this. The artifact my family had been hired to "acquire" was a small sphere.  Red in hue and perfectly round and smooth.  From what the case file said, it was newly-received by the archives and it was supposed to appear like a glass paperweight.  I didn't know what was so special about this little "paperweight", or why our client wanted it so badly, and quite frankly, I didn't care.  The only thing running through my mind as I dove into the side door marked 'Employees Only' was Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up. The storage part of the facility was two stories below ground level.  I had to use a flashlight because it was so dark.  Far below where any pedestrians could travel, or even see.  The door to the basement was supposed to have an alarm if anyone without a pass went in, but due to the power being out, that wasn't an issue for me. There was a guard slumped in his chair on my left when I opened the door.  Standard-issue coffee-drinking, donut-dunking police officer with a broom of a mustache.  He was currently drooling I took the opportunity to flip the hat off of his head.  There would be no fingerprints, my gloves made sure of that, so I had nothing to lose. Then, I turned my attention to the room in front of me...and groaned loudly. The room was huge.  It was less of a room and more of a warehouse.  There were aisles upon aisles of boxes as far as the eye could see.  I knew that these archives held materials for other museums, but I didn't know it was going to be this extensive.  It was like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  To make matters worse, the sphere I was looking for could fit in the palm of your hand, and the box was accordingly sized. This was going to be a nightmare. I started in on the rightmost aisle at the front, scuffing my feet the entire way over.  After about five minutes of extensive searching, it became clear to me that whoever managed this storage room - probably broom-face in the corner- was not very good at organizing anything.  About halfway down the first aisle of scanning for various artifacts, I started hitting my head repeatedly on the steel bearing holding the shelves up.  Clang, Clang, Clang.

I eventually rested my head and sighed, once I felt like I had sufficiently concussed myself. Clang.  Clang.  Clang. Wait a second, I thought, my eyes widening.  That....that wasn't me. I whirled around, glancing down the corridor.  My flashlight reflected off the metal girders, but found...nothing. "Tch," I said, a hint of nervousness still apparent in my voice.  "Mice..." No sooner had I assured myself I was being stupid, then there was a soft whoosh somewhere above my ear.   I rolled to the left just in time for something heavy to land exactly where I was standing with a dull clunk. "Think again..." a voice said darkly. I fumbled for my flashlight, but found I had broken the bulb in my panic.  There was another option, but it was one I wasn't too keen on bringing out with all these wooden crates lying around... I didn't have much time to entertain the idea as whatever had landed next to me started to move towards me at an alarming rate.  I turned tail and ran.  Under normal circumstances, I would say my pursuer was also running, but there was only one set of footsteps, my own, accompanied by the steady whoosh I had heard before. I peeled around the corner at the end of the aisle, desperate to get away from whatever was attacking me.  I felt my way along the end and took another left down the next aisle, gambling that my attacker couldn't see either and would think I had gone straight.    My gamble paid off and they went right past the entrance to the corridor.  I didn't stop running.  Soon enough they'd find out I had tricked them and would find them.  Maybe if I was lucky, I could get out of here without anyone capturing me.  True, I'd be reprimanded for not getting the sphere, but I could spare my parents all the work of covering up our family from the authorities.  "Staying free to risk it another day," my family's motto. The world isn't even that kind. About half-way down the second aisle I ran into something.  I thought maybe at first it was a wall, but I quickly found myself getting entangled in something that felt like thick slimy... "SNAKES?!"  AW HELLLL NO!     That was it, running around in the dark and hiding like a coward had never been for me.  I was more suited to fighting back, and at that moment, feeling very like a fly caught in a massive web, I decided to let whatever was coming after me get a taste of some truly different fighting. My anger and panic bubbled over and an intensely warming feeling filled my body.   It started in my heart and spread out to the rest of my body.  My hair started to lift, and the area around me was suddenly filled with light.  I was glowing.  All across my body, thick arcs of light blue electricity jumped and crackled.  Lightning. "TAKE THIS, LOSERS," I yelled to anyone listening, and released all the energy I built up in a great burst.  The result was a blinding light that filled the entire underground facility and made a gargantuan CRACK. Whatever had been holding me had released its grip and I fell to the ground, rather unceremoniously.  I got up quickly and shook out all the remaining static energy.   All around me, little piles were flaming.  At first, I thought they were pieces of boxes, but to my immense surprise, most of the boxes in the immediate vicinity were untouched.  I stooped down to examine one of the little fires to find whatever it was burning was steaming and looked very much like the remnants of some kind of vegetation. "Eep!"  There came a small noise of astonishment behind me.  I whirled around to find the back of someone dashing away, their steps echoing 'tmp tmp tmp tmp tmp'.  They were quickly overtaken by the loud rumble of thunder. "Get back here," I yelled after them.  I pulled out Nimbus and the area around me was bathed in a pool of light thanks to its generous supply of encased lighting.  Figuring I had nothing to lose anymore, I pulled the drawstring on the bow.  Instantly, an arrow made out of complete blue lightning stretched from the end of my fingers to the rest on the black handle of the bow.  I fired it down the expanse of aisle the person had fled down.  It flew to the end where it hit the cement floor, and illuminated the area just in time to see the figure turn left.  I dashed off, this time I was the one in pursuit.    Before I got out of the aisle however, there was a hissing above me and the emergency sprinklers went off, soaking me to the bone.  'Great. Just great' I thought as my hair got plastered to my face and my coat started to drag me down. I got to the end of the aisle, but found no one.  I was about to fire another arrow when something barreled into me at an astonishing speed, knocking me off of my feet.  My bow clattered away into a corner. "Ow." I complained, being more sarcastic than in-pain as I hit the floor.  I could tell by the blood taste in my mouth, that I had a souvenir split-lip for all my efforts.   Whoever had hit me was pinning me to the floor, and was VERY heavy.  They laughed evilly, and for all my sarcastic, nonchalant personality, I actually felt a little helpless.  A little. I kneed them in the solar plexus...or tried to anyways.  CLANG  "SHIT!  Shitshitshitshitshit that actually HURT!"  I was definitely going to have a bruise in the morning.  It felt like I had tried to slam my knee into a rock. I could feel the person falter for a moment.  "Wait..."  I barely registered from the single word that the assailant was female before I took the opportunity of her indecisiveness to overpower her and flip her over, slamming her to the concrete.   I got up and ran for my bow only to find that it had strategically landed next to the neon sign proclaiming EXIT in bright red letters.  I didn't hesitate and slammed into the crash bar with all my force.  "WAIT," the person who had pinned me yelled, but I didn't have any plans to wait. I ran up the several flights of stairs the Exit had allowed me to the ground floor, but to my luck, the ground floor door was locked thanks to my cutting the power and emergency power.  I heard the door back down at the storage room bang open and two pairs of feet tramping up the stairs.  I didn't have time to deliberate.  The stairs continued up, so I did as well, hoping there was an emergency door.   After 6 flights, I was at the top of the staircase.  The door didn't appear to be locked, but many years of disuse had led it to become rusted and jammed.  With the impending doom of the footsteps on the stairs behind me, I slammed into the door repeatedly in a desperate attempt to get it to open. Just when the footsteps were turning onto the last flight, the door gave way and I tumbled out into the night air.    We were on the roof.  There was nowhere for me to go, nowhere for me to hide.  I scrambled up and ran to the edge, preparing my bow for a fight.  If I was going down, it wouldn't be quietly. I may have been prepared to fight, but I wasn't prepared for what happened next. A great bird came through the door with white wings flapping strongly.  It was followed by a tree. .... I rubbed my eyes and squinted...no a bird and tree weren't quite right.  They were both people... As they hastened towards me, I saw their faces.  One, the winged girl, was frowning and intensely disapproving.  The other, the girl wrapped in bark and leaves was weary but kind.  My mouth dropped. They were more than people.  They were my roommates. "Michaela...." Elizabeth's voice was warning, and sounded more like a mother admonishing a child than anything else.  "What are you doing here?" Normally I'd retort something like "I could ask the same of you," but with the aura surrounding her, I decided it would be best not to.    She looked rather like a knight, with an armor chest plate and bracers on the arms and legs.  Around her waist was a gold belt with a winged cross in the middle.  A royal blue skirt was draped like a cape from the waist down, open in the front and closed in the back.  On her head, rather than a helmet was a headpiece that wrapped around her face and had golden metal wings that held it in place on her head. However, the most impressive thing on her outfit were the actual wings.  They were as tall as she was and stark white with soft, downy feathers.  The feathers fluttered in the night breeze as if itching to take off and soar under the stars. Her previous air of shy-awkwardness had transformed into something completely different.  She stood tall, confident, and she had her hand on something at her side.  Her face now took on a severe look with her eyes flashing and brows furrowed. When I didn't immediately answer her question, her eyes narrowed.  Before I could blink, she had pumped her wings and was in front of me holding a very sharp sword to my neck.  "Answer the question," she threatened.  Her voice was low and deadly serious.  Behind me was a 6-foot story drop to death. "Elizabeth!"  Sarah ran over and put a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder, trying to pull her away from me.  "Stop it!"  Sarah was the person I had mistaken for a tree earlier.  It had been very easy to do.  She was wearing an outfit made entirely out of green and brown.  Her chest piece was a sweet-heart neckline with the upper part made entirely out of green leaves and the bottom of woven reeds and bark.  She had brown capris pants and green boots made of wrapped ferns.  At her belt was several pockets where seeds and flowerpots filled with dirt had been placed.  She had a panicked look in here chocolate eyes, but was otherwise unchanged in her caring demeanor. Now I'm not exactly one to be threatened.  As soon as Elizabeth put the sword to my neck, I had put a hand on her armor, just above the waist.  I laughed darkly, ignoring Sarah.  My face melted into that of one who knew all the cards were in their hand.  "Kill me and you get fried." Elizabeth faltered but didn't move the sword.  "Wh-" She looked down briefly to see my hand, palm-down, spread out on her armor.  Her metal armor. She grimaced.  "Touché..." "Hey guys I think-" Sarah started, but Elizabeth cut her off and pushed the sword closer to my neck, forcing me to lean back over the edge of the roof. "But if I push you over, then I won't have to worry about that." The smallest glimpse of fear flashed through my eyes, and she saw it.  She half-smiled, half-grimaced like she was really regretting doing this.  "Now...answer my question." "Guys-" "You'll never take me alive."  With that I tried hitting her with a wad of spit, but she just tiredly dodged it. "Why do people keep spitting at me?  I don't get it," she said.  "Do they think I'm dehydrated or something?" She looked genuinely saddened by this, and for the briefest of seconds I felt bad for the person who had me at the edge of a sword. Out of nowhere, two thick green vines wrapped around both of our waists and pulled us apart before setting us down and pinning our arms to our sides. "OH MY GOD WILL YOU TWO JUST LISTEN FOR FIVE SECONDS," Sarah exclaimed, her voice reaching volumes I didn't think possible for her. Elizabeth sighed and looked down in resignation, the fight left her eyes, but I struggled against the vine.  "Hey! Lemme go!" Sarah turned to me, taking note of my complaining.  She smiled sweetly.  "Sorry, no can do." "I can just burn through this," I pointed out, and started super-charging my body again. She put a finger up to her cheek as if contemplating the strategy.  "Yes, you can...you did downstairs."  She laughed, "Gave me quite a scare." Elizabeth grumbled something like 'nearly electrocuted me.' "But this time," Sarah glanced worriedly at Elizabeth, "I know you won't." "Oh really?" My hair started to crackle and levitate. "Yep." Sarah nodded and reached into one of the pockets on her belt, "Because you want this."  She produced an object, about the size of a golf ball.  It was perfectly spherical and tinted a deep scarlet red. All the charge suddenly left my body, and I looked shocked at the object, then to Sarah, and back to the object.  "How did you...I mean....that..." Sarah smiled slyly and stashed the sphere back in her pocket.  "I assume I have your attention now." "What," was all I managed to get out of my slack-jawed mouth before I regained my thoughts.  "How did you get that?!  It was supposed to be-" "Top secret," Elizabeth finished for me.  "Yes.  But it also needed to be under constant protection.  That's where we come in." "They trusted top secret materials to a couple of teenagers," I asked incredulously.    Elizabeth huffed out a laugh.  "In case the wings haven't tipped you off yet," she flexed them from where she was sitting and expanded them to their full length of about 25 feet.  "We aren't exactly normal teenagers." Sarah glanced at Elizabeth and made a circular motion with her index finger.  The vine unwound from Elizabeth's torso, obeying Sarah's will.  Elizabeth stood and dusted off her pants and skirt before she grinned at me.  "We're a bit...unusual." "And we think you are too," Sarah smiled softly at me. "Gee thanks..." I muttered.  Why was I talking?  I needed to snatch that sphere and get out of here....my parents would be here in a few days...after the heat had died down.  The best I could hope for was to keep them distracted enough to accomplish my mission. "No..." Sarah shook her head and crouched down next to me.  "I don't think you understand."  I looked at her skeptically.  "We want you to join us." Elizabeth made kind-of a spluttering noise like she had just been hit with a water balloon.  I raised my eyebrow at Sarah.  "What?" Sarah paused a moment before giggling.  "Sorry, I guess we're getting ahead of ourselves."  She stood back up and faced Elizabeth.  "You're better at explaining this than I am." Elizabeth however, was still looking at Sarah like she had five heads.  "I'm not revealing classified information.  Are you NUTS?  Our order was just to bring her in, not 'tell her everything'!" Sarah glanced at her understandingly.  "Elizabeth," Sarah said softly.  "You know why we need to recruit her..." Elizabeth looked at me in that weird analysis way again before sighing deeply.  "...Fine...."  She folded her wings back, leaned close to my face and glared at me.  It wasn't uncomfortably close as it had been at the edge of the roof, but close enough to intimidate me.  "Let me make one thing...crystal clear.  You ever breathe a word of this...to anyone, and I will hunt you down, and smite you where you stand." I couldn't help it.  I let out a snort of amusement.  "Smite?  Really?  What are you, a bard or something?"    Her deadly fury was palpable, and I saw a flame of something in her eye.  The same something that flashed when she had been mocking Jason earlier.  Something dangerous.  Her wings snapped open to their full wingspan with a whoosh; making her appear much larger.  "Clearly, I am not fully human...and while I could very well kill you right now...I'm not really the one you should be afraid of."  My eyes drifted over to Sarah, who was still smiling encouragingly.  I involuntarily shuddered. Slowly, Elizabeth's pristine white wings folded back behind her.  She took a deep breath, and began. "It has always been underground knowledge that there are some people who are...different.  Some are born with their differences, some acquire them either of their own volition or by accident.    "Though,” here she paused and looked me over with just a touch of both admiration and pity, "I think you already know that." I looked down, avoiding the pitying gaze...I didn't need it. "There was a movement a few years ago, to develop a system in which these people would use these differences to better society, to do the things that other people can't.  Some lucky ones were assigned to jobs where they could be put to good use and live a relatively normal life, but the rest of us..."  Her voice lowered, "The rest of us are the slaves of the government." "Sarah and I were approached almost a year ago to become a pair of these people.  They already knew who we were, and what we were capable of; we had been on secret records for a while.  As such, they didn't give us much choice to live a normal life." "And that's what you want from me?  You want me to give up my life to become a dog for politicians to order?"  My voice was high and disbelieving.  She couldn't be serious.   She scoffed acidly, "Oh, like your life right now is any different....Michaela Barrow..." My head shot up.  She knew my name...my actual name...  "How-" I started. "So," Elizabeth continued, not answering my unspoken question. "You can either live a life of crime on the run, constantly unhappy, and without any real purpose other than being some errand girl for the highest bidder...Or you can actually do something worthwhile with your gift." I opened my mouth to protest that the only thing my "gift" had done for me was to force me to work harder for my parent's love, but Sarah said softly "You don't see your ability as a good thing...do you..." My shock was apparent on my face, and she took note of it.  She turned to Elizabeth, and in that quietly disarming voice I'd seen her use before she said, "Hey Elizabeth...can you give us a minute?"  Elizabeth looked at Sarah incredulously.  "Please..." Sarah implored her.  Elizabeth glanced reluctantly at me and took a moment before sighing deeply. "I suppose...someone needs to inform Mrs. Warner about the alarm system...."  Sarah smiled at her as if to say 'thank you'.  With one back-glance, Elizabeth turned on her heels and ran to the edge of the building. "WAIT!" I yelled, but she jumped once and dove over the edge.    Sarah gave me a look.  "What?" "She just jumped off the building!  She's insane!" I was hysterical. Sarah laughed and started counting down.  "Three....two....one..." Behind her, something shot up into the air, gleaming in the moonlight.  Elizabeth, her wings pumping powerfully had pulled up from her fall and was flying away from the archives back towards the main school.  From a distance, she looked more like a large bird than a person. “Heh,” Sarah smiled at the retreating figure.  “Show off.” "So, it's true..." I breathed, momentarily forgetting that I was being held captive.  "She can actually fly..." Sarah hummed in response.  "Elizabeth actually chose this life...or rather, it was a better alternative to what she could have done.  She chose to have wings and super-abilities."  She looked down.  "I didn't....and I think you didn't either."  She extended her hand towards me and instantly the ivy holding me in place receded and crawled back down the side of the building. I was quiet, waiting for her to say this was all a trick and do whatever Elizabeth had warned me about.  Instead she continued to speak.  Her voice was small but thick with hidden emotion.  "I know what it's like...to be different without your consent.  To have it feel like a burden on you and everyone around you.  To be constantly afraid of hurting someone over something you can't control."  There was a sadness in her eyes that startled me.  "So, I'm not going to force you to do anything." She reached into her bag and brought out the red sphere.  "Here," she handed it to me.  I stared at her, dumbfounded.  "You can take it and leave.  I won't say a word to Elizabeth or who we work for.  You can go back to your life...and we can go back to our duty.  I don't know if your old life is what you want, or if they accept you there..." she paused, "But know that here you could live out a fairly normal life...you could make something of yourself.  We would accept you.  But, that's entirely your decision." My fingers closed around the sphere in my palm, and I looked down at my boots.  "I'm sorry..." I murmured under my breath.  I couldn't leave my current life.  It was what I was raised in...it was all I knew. Sarah exhaled.  "Okay then."  She put a hand on my shoulder with a sad smile.  "Good luck then...we'll probably see each other again."  She turned to leave, walking towards the door on the roof.  Something in me snapped. "What the hell..." I spat.  My eyes were trained down at the roof. Sarah's footsteps stopped. "Why....why are you doing this...Is....this is a trap.  Isn't it...."  Sarah was silent, and my fists clenched around the orb in frustration.  I swallowed the electricity rising in my throat, but I could feel myself starting to lose control.    "ISN'T IT?!"  I winced at how my voice cracked.  I sounded like I was in pain...like...  I raised my hand to my cheek to find a single tear tracking its way across my skin.  I was shaking.  “There’s no way someone like me,” I spat, “could ever live a normal life!  You’re just manipulating me!” Sarah was silent for another second, before looking down at the orb still clutched in my left hand, and then back into my eyes.  “I guess you’ll never find out.” Errand girl to the highest bidder.   I don’t know if they accept you… Make something of yourself… The words swirled in my head, making me feel a tad bit faint.  Could I?  Could I live a normal life?  Away from the heists, the pressure, and the fear? “Wait.” Sarah had already mounted the ladder on the side of the building, but she looked up at my voice. I paused, unsure if I even wanted to continue with my thought.  “I...I’m not saying I believe you, but,”  She stared me down expectantly.  “I don’t want to do this.  I never did.  And honestly,” I smiled ruefully, “I just want to get away from my parents.”

Sarah nodded.  “Want to find out what you want to do with your life.  Makes sense.”

“If I,” I hesitated.  “If I join you my parents will come looking…I don’t know if I can...if I’m capable of-”

Sarah’s eyes softened as I choked on my words.  Tears were now running down my face freely, much to my own displeasure.  “You will be safe...you have my word,” she assured me softly.

I wiped my eyes roughly, dispelling the welling tears.  “Ok then...count me in.”

I’m free….finally.

Wonder Woman: The Movie

Rebirth has brought the Amazing Amazon back to her roots, but this would only be a partial victory had the Wonder Woman movie been a failure along the lines of Dawn of Justice.

The Movie

We had nothing to fear. Not only was Patty Jenkins’ vision perfectly true to Diana, but Gal Gadot surprised everybody by being the perfect casting for Wonder Woman. At its current standing, the movie is the leggiest superhero movie, holding up better than other superhero movies in the past fifteen years.

Wonder Woman is a tremendous success, easily Warner Brother’s third-highest earning superhero movie. We all remember, several years ago, how Diane Nelson told us over and over again that the public would find Diana difficult to understand, that the movie with all of her mythical elements would be problematic.

People love Wonder Woman all over again, and they love her movie. A lot.

I said I would write a review of the movie, but I don’t want to do a play by play. Rather, I think that a full review would go over territory that has been already tread by many, and it would be pointless. What I think is important is to pause and reflect on the reasons why Wonder Woman has inspired viewers, why it has made them cry at moments like the No Man’s Land (guilty as charged), and why they keep coming back for more.

Of course, the themes of empowerment and sisterhood, and the total lack of sexualization of the female hero in a mainstream Hollywood blockbuster movie are two huge points in the movie’s favor. While we have seen some tremendously heroic women in the realm of Science Fiction (Ellen Ripley, we love you), the genre of superhero movies is a whole different thing: it is pure, idealized heroic fantasy comparable to the sagas that Wagner drew upon (minus, you know, the incest and other things.) 

In this genre it is customary to see the powerful bodies of male superheroes highlighted dramatically as a source of inspiration and empowerment, whereas the female heroes who fight alongside them have their bodies leered at by the camera, with a special fixation on their backsides and cleavage. Whether it is Elektra walking away from the camera that is perfectly poised to catch her derriere and hips swaying, to Harley Quinn’s daisy dukes being almost pornographically ogled by the camera, to Black Widow being the only Avenger to have a movie poster designed to show off those assets, the female superhero body seems to exist purely to be sexy, not powerful or inspiring. 

And then came Wonder Woman- the first female protagonist in the superhero live-action movie genre to shatter this trope. There are plenty of examples throughout the movie, but I will stick with one of the prominent ones seen in the trailer. Diana shatters an enemy rifle using nothing but her biceps and her back. It is a moment of sheer, inspirational power that highlights the Amazon’s physique, but it isn’t done as an excuse to sexualize her- this moment (among many in the movie) sees her treated exactly as a male superhero would be treated.  It isn’t material for titillation, it’s as awe-inspiring as is the crossing of the No Man’s Land and all of Diana’s feats. 

But the glory isn’t solely showered on one Amazon, but all of them: the Amazons are treated with the same reverence, and seeing Hippolyta jumping into battle with her army is a joy.

However, feats of strength and martial prowess only go so far. Without the right heart, it all becomes so much empty bombast. What is special about Wonder Woman is the very same thing that made her special when she first touched down on the shores of Man’s World 75 years ago, guided by the typewriter of the brilliant and eccentric William Moulton Marston. 

[SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE, THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE YOU SHOULD STOP READING AND COME BACK AFTER YOU HAVE SEEN IT... REALLY, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING, GO. NOW.]

Diana of Themyscira is an excellent example of the principle of ἀρετή (Arete, pronounced /a.re.tɛ̌ː/), a Greek term that Aristotle (among others) identified with  moral virtue:

"Virtue (arete) then is a settled disposition of the mind determining the choice of actions and emotions, consisting essentially in the observance of the mean relative to us, this being determined by principle, that is, as the prudent man would determine it." Aristotle,  Nicomachean Ethics, II vi 15

In Aristotle’s conception of virtue, the virtuous action is always found in the intermediate state between deficiency and excess: too much and too little are always wrong, with  the right kind of action in the right kind of measure being defined as the golden mean, contextually appropriate to both the situation and the individual in question.

So, what does this mean for Diana? When Diana learns of the terrible things that are happening on Man’s World, she feels incapable of obeying her mother’s orders to do nothing while innocents die. Her compassion is fueled by her sense of justice- can she truly stay behind in her idyllic world while innocents are slaughtered, when she knows she is an Amazon and, according to legend, especially trained for such an occasion along with the rest of her sisters? 

Diana comes to the world, even if it means turning her back on her mother. She could have sent Steve back by himself, but that would have been too little, and convincing the entire Amazon army to leave Themyscira and thus leave it undefended would have been too much. One single, albeit extraordinary, Amazon coming to Man’s World to fight Ares was clearly the right choice.

Throughout Diana’s journey, she finds herself faced with the quest for the right action- she cannot abide the paralysis in the trenches and thus crosses No Man’s Land, everywhere she goes she seeks to enact the right action because she ultimately loves humanity and wants to help. Unlike the cinematic incarnations of her fellow Trinity members, she does not agonize about whether she has the right to take action or whether she is capable of knowing what is the right course to take. Diana embarks on her quest with the certitude that she will find the right actions, even if she has to correct her course to account for new knowledge. Her sense of justice will simply not allow her to consider inaction.

It is rather fitting, then, that Arete was occasionally personified as a deity in Ancient Greece and portrayed as the daughter of Justice herself: Praxidike, whose other daughter and Arete's sister was the goddess Homonoia, the goddess of concord.

At the end of her journey, Diana is faced with the knowledge that man’s nature was not entirely what she thought it was, that man was not wholly good... that is, that humanity is not exactly the pure race that the myths painted, incapable of  atrocities unless influenced by outside forces. She has grown up believing in the sole goodness of humanity, and Ares then tries to expose her to his cynical view of humanity, which is that of utterly corrupt and irredeemable creatures. And for a moment, it almost seems possible that she will embrace this belief.

But, just as before, when caught in the pull between two extremes, Diana always returns to her center. With her new realization of humanity’s nature, she says to the sneering Ares:

“They are everything you say. But so much more.” 

Diana’s knowledge has expanded. Humanity is neither a demon awash in corruption nor a perfect being incapable of evil, but a people perpetually poised on the edge of possibility armed with nothing but choice. Each individual holds different measures of Elysium or Tartarus within them, unleashed by the choices they make- with those falling outside of the range of the golden mean bringing about terrible consequences. The golden mean-which might as well have as a physical representation Wonder Woman’s lasso of Hestia, which seeks to remove falsehood in the quest for the truth-  and  it is knowledge of true things that informs the correct action.

“It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.”

Diana’s next line may puzzle some, and some have dismissed it as a platitude or a cliché, but this is one of the truest statements about the character of Wonder Woman, and she means it in a different way than the lazy interpretation some might ascribe to it.

From a philosophical point of view, especially from an Aristotelian perspective, the idea of ‘love’ is tied to virtue and the notion of ‘the good’. Virtue does not, as some would have you believe, exist for its own sake, but rather it is the right action aimed at attaining that which is valued and loved.  It is impossible to enact virtue without being capable of loving. Diana loves Truth and therefore seeks to act honestly in order to uncover it, she cannot abide tyranny and therefore seek to enact Justice to bring freedom. She loves humanity as a whole and wishes to see it prosper, and thus seeks to uphold Peace- even if she must fight to achieve it. 

(Aside: That last example is not a contradiction in her standards, because one must never allow one’s virtues to be turned towards one’s own destruction. If Diana embraced complete pacifism, then those who initiate violence against the innocent would easily be able to exterminate those who are not violent, if no-one were to defend themselves.) 

Therefore, everything that Diana does, and the force that carries her truly through the end of her journey is her intense ability to value and to love, intensely. 

Her final realization in the movie is also one that many superheroes do not seem to achieve- Diana is very aware that only humanity- individuals themselves- can truly make a better world for themselves through the choices that they make. She is also aware that, as long as there is such a thing as freedom of will the struggle between good and evil choices will go on. She now knows that her mission in Man’s World is to protect ( others against violence) and to teach (her values), but she is not here to ‘fix the world’ in the way that some authoritarian dictator might, by imposing a conduct through force. She lets the world make its own choices, and is the advocate of everything mankind can be- and which some individuals achieve in varying measures. 

 Even though she is a ‘child of fate’, she is completely unaware of it and chooses the path for herself long before knowing she was born as the only being capable of destroying Ares. She takes the trope of the ‘chosen one’ and turns it upside down. Wonder Woman, essentially, disregards deontological ethics and places virtue ethics at the fore.  And this is what makes Wonder Woman as a movie, and a character, stand apart from her male colleagues in the Trinity. Whereas Batman’s tragic orphan-hood shaped his thirst for justice and Superman is marked by the loss of a world and people he never knew, Wonder Woman’s origin story is unmarked by tragedy: she was born from a mother’s love, and she is moved by a love of people and of the world. 

And this, even if it is only dimly perceived as a vague undercurrent by some, is the core reason for why Wonder Woman has been such a smashing success. The Amazon’s incredible fortune is reminiscent of the impact she had when she first made her debut in All-Star Comics #8 in 1941. Back then, the world embraced the champion of Themyscira as a unique hero with a unique message. 

It has been a long time coming, but she has finally come home again, and many are embracing her as others did, way back when.

Here’s to  Warner Brothers for finally giving us what we’ve been asking for all these decades. And here’s to Wonder Woman 2.

Sparks Chapter 20

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: Sad stuff happens.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 67,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know

March 23, 2016

 y/n’s POV

 “You cut your hair!” I hear Bucky yell from across the lab. The sudden noise rips me from my computer screen and I turn to look at the source of the sound. I spot a couple startled interns turning their heads back to whatever they were doing and for a second i’m startled as well. I’ve been so focused on work I can’t remember the last time I looked up from the screen in front of me. During the time it takes for me to gather myself Bucky is already across the lab floor and by the little desk i’m working at. He picks at my hair and I lean back away from his noisy fingers.

 “Yes,” I say casually. I cut it a couple days ago, I think… I Can’t really remember days now. But I was bored and walking home and passed a hair salon and for no good reason I found myself going in. An hour later I was left with short hair just resting past my chest and a pang in my heart, as least I felt something. I missed my rapunzel hair it was apart of me. But oh well, it took too long to take care of anyways.

 “Why!” Bucky says back to picking at my now shorter strands.

 “I don’t know…” I say a little annoyed at the intrusion. I have to admit I have been consciously avoiding him since St. Patrick's day, again for no good reason. “Why are you here?”

 “I haven’t seen much of you lately,” he says trailing off.

 “I know busy, busy. Can’t talk.” I say trying to shoo him away.

 “Alright… well are you okay?” He asks his expression sinking for a second.

 “Yeah, i’m fine. You gotta go. You’re distracting me.” I say and turn back to my screen.

 “Umm, sorry. I’ll see you around? Maybe Dinner later?” he asks genuinely.

 “Yeah sure maybe…” I say trying to get rid of him. I hear his footsteps fade away as he resigns himself and I do feel bad. I really do. But I don’t FEEL it. I know I should and for a second I think I do, but not really. Whatever…

 March 25, 2016

 2am

 y/n’s POV

 “Are you crazy!” he yells at me from the other side of the conference table. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

 I roll my eyes and that’s my only response.

 “Alright, let’s all calm down,” Wanda says.

 “She could have fucking died,” Bucky continues to yell. “Who let her past the checkpoint?”

 “I did,” I say narrowing my eyes at him. “I disabled it didn’t I?”

 “y/n when there’s a fucking bomb with your name on it you don’t fucking go near it!” he continues to yell.

 “Well I didn’t see anyone else disarming it…”

 “The plan was to clear everyone then send in the techs! Not you!”

 “Your plan was stupid…”

 “You’re the one that’s acting stupid! Do you have any regard for personal safety!” The thing was I didn’t… Well not at the moment at least. I saw a way to save a lot of lives and I took a calculated risk.

 “Can I go now?” I say turning towards Tony who has his face buried in his tablet.

 He looks up when he realises the question is directed too him and says, “Sure, the disarmed bomb is in your lab. The sooner you get started on it the…” Tony’s words are cut off by Bucky’s firm voice.

 “She’s going home. To get some fucking sleep,” God I didn’t know he cursed this much.

 “For a second I almost thought you were my boss,” I say laughing. I make my way towards the glass door and pull it open. For a moment I expect him to follow me out and drag me back to my apartment. But he doesn’t.

 I’m at the lab photographing and noting everything before I begin to take this latest monstrosity apart. Scrolled across the front are the words: ‘For Dr. y/l/n’ in red spray paint. What a theatrical touch I think to myself. Whoever made this clearly has the flare for the dramatic. Come on picking a hospital… That’s a low blow even for terrorists.  I yawn and put the camera down. I should be able to deconstruct this in a couple hours.

 …

 The sound of my phone ringing tears me from my precious sleep. I squint my eyes picking up my head from my desk. I must've dozed off. I look at my clock and it reads 3.46pm. The last thing I remember was Cho bringing me breakfast, which is still lying in its box on my desk. My phone continues to ring and I snap myself awake and look at the screen. It’s Olivia. I yawn and say hello in a scratchy voice.

 On the other end I hear cars and sirens? “y/n” I hear Olivia say in a shaky voice.

 “Whats up?” I ask.

 “Dr. y/l/n can you stop this one in time?” I hear her say struggling to push out the words. For a fraction of a second nothing seems to compute. Then it clicks.

 Bucky’s POV

 “Let me go!” she screams, “I have to go.” But the grip I have on her is stronger than even she is. She puts up a good fight but I have to do this. Even if I have to save her from herself.

 I see Steve run towards Olivia. The short women looks even smaller from a distance. She’s clutching her baby to her chest and sitting on a chair in the middle of Time Square. The area has been cleared and sealed. Not even a overzealous cop or noisy reporter could get in. “She’s on a pressure pad.” Steve’s voice comes in through my earpiece. “I can’t take the child, the change in weight might trigger it.” y/n continues to struggle against my hold cursing my very existence.

 “I’m sending the tech in now,” Tony’s voice comes in through my com. Before I can respond I feel a sharp pain in my shin and for a second I loose my grip on y/n. Just a second. That’s all it ever takes doesn’t it. She slips from my grip and runs towards her friend. This is a message and it was meant for her. There’s a bright flash of orange and red and black. I see Steve’s body fly back. Then I hear a scream. A gut wrenching scream that tears at my heart.

 …

 Bucky’s POV

 y/n has been quiet. The last thing I heard come out of her was that god awful agonizing scream. We’re back at the tower. I don’t want to leave her, but I want to check on Steve. He’s probably fine I know. But, the combined worry of everything is taking a toll on me. He’s only a couple doors down in one of the other rooms in the med bay but I can’t leave y/n. We’re waiting for Olivia’s husband and son. A team was sent to escort them here and a plan has been put into action for their extraction and exit. They are being flown out today to somewhere safe. “It’s just until this is over, okay?” I say trying to reassure her. I’m met with more silence. Not the calm silence one hears during the moments after a trauma but the eerie silence that envelops people when they’ve been truly broken.

 After what feels like eternity I finally get the green light. Olivia’s husband, Mark, and Ben finally arrive at the tower. They’re escorted up to the med bay and I see Ben through the glass doors. He’s carefree and smiling running circles around his father as he walks towards the room lead by Carter. I step forward and open the door. They don’t know. They haven’t been told and y/n isn’t in any state to do it. That leaves me doesn’t it? It leaves me to break a family’s heart.

 y/n’s POV

 Not a lot registers. I remember Cho shining a light in my eye and asking how I felt. I didn’t reply. Then flashes of a car ride. Even when Ben runs up to say hi, I don’t register it. It’s not until he leans against my knees that I realize he’s there and as soon as I do, as soon as I feel him, I push off my chair onto my knees and pull him into my embrace almost crushing him. I vaguely hear Bucky talking and another man’s voice but nothing else registers.

I miss her with all my heart, with all my soul, and if I had anything more to miss her with I would. The pain I feel now is searing and not even my hold on Ben is enough to keep me from losing myself to it.

 A moment later I feel him torn from me by a pair of strong hands i’m too weak to fight. “Let go of my son.” Those are the first words I really register since the explosion. “This is your fault!”

 “No please,” is all I can manage to push out. Even that I don’t say consciously, it just involuntarily slips out of my mouth. “Ben!”

 “You’ll never see him again!” I’m having a hard time seeing reality but I know Mark is gone now and I think the shock finally hits me.

 I keep thinking, no you’re stronger than this. But my breathing is ragged and i’m hyperventilating and I feel Bucky’s hands grasp my shoulders. He is saying something that I can’t quite hear past the rush of blood pumping through my ears. “Sed… Seda… Sedate me! Get Cho!” I scream past the fog that is suddenly becoming my new reality. I hear, more than see, Bucky leave the room. But that’s going to take too long. I push myself off the floor and stumble over to the cabinets. I pull a drawer open and find a syringe full of what i’m looking for. I stick myself in the arm and push the plunger down not caring about the dose i’ve just injected myself with. I just want to sleep.

 Bucky’s POV

 I run outside the room, leaving y/n for no more than a second, to get Cho. But that’s all it ever takes isn’t it? A second. When we come back in she’s on the floor and I feel a piece of myself shatter.

花びら

There’s always that time in life when you recognize a turning point. It’s not always obvious. Sometimes you don’t even notice until it’s passed, maybe even years after it’s done.

It’s there, though.

The turning point.

That moment when your actions determine the next turn in the path you walk on. You think you have time, but don’t take it for granted… The truth is you don’t.

Time is a luxury.

Time is always running out.

Just five more minutes… I won’t be late.

You were.

You laughed as you ran as fast as your legs could bear, already imagining the look on Takao’s face when he stared at your disheveled self. You knew he wouldn’t be mad at you. After all, you were best friends since forever and you knew how he worked. There wasn’t a time you could recall not having him by your side.

Once you arrived, the game was already over, but you decided to come inside anyway. You looked around the court, searching for him. He would notice you, point at your direction and make a show out of rolling on the floor and laughing, typical him, as soon as he saw how ridiculous you looked with messed up hair and a red face from running so much.

It wasn’t how it went, though.

He didn’t laugh at you. He didn’t even notice you.

He was talking to someone else and you paused, catching your breath and letting the sight sink in. He smiled, but this time it wasn’t for you. He chuckled, but it wasn’t because of something silly you had said.

It made your heart skip a painful beat.

You pushed the thought aside and forced a smile on your lips, making your way towards the boys. Takao finally noticed you and wasted no time in introducing you.

“You came! Hey, this is ___, my best friend!”

Another sharp sting, as a dagger piercing through your flesh and ripping your heart into shreds. However, you smiled again.

For you, it was the first time the word “friend” felt so foul, so mean.

I’m jealous. I’m overreacting. This is nothing, you thought.

Even so, you decided you should gather the courage to confess to him. It would all be okay.

You had time.

You kept your distance.

Days turned into weeks and you still couldn’t confess. You tried at first, but anywhere Takao went, the other boy would also be. It irked you, but you blamed your possessiveness and jealousy. You knew you were hopelessly in love with him.

The long wait started growing doubt in you. Should you really tell him and risk ruining everything? Years of friendship would go down the drain, but then again… Maybe not.

You had everything to lose, yet everything to win.

You took a deep breath, rubbing your hands against each other.

I can do it, you thought. I just need some time.

It was Hanami Matsuri when he told you.

You stood by a sakura tree, both nervous.

“I have something to tell you.” You both said in unison.

You laughed anxiously, running your hands through your clothes.

“Okay,” he laughed. “You go first.”

“No, you first!” You urged, eager to gain some more time.

You weren’t ready yet.

“Fine, okay. Well…” He scratched the back of his head, deciding to just say it. “I’m in love.”

You froze.

“I’m in love with a boy.” He continued. “How crazy is that?” He laughed, nervously.

You could hear your heart shattering inside your chest, but as you stared inside his eyes, you saw it all. He was afraid. He was so scared you would judge him. He could deal with it if the world did, but not from you. Truth is, you didn’t judge him at all.

The fact that it was another man had nothing to do with the wretched feeling that you got through every cell in your body.

So you smiled and reached out, holding his hand in yours.

“Did you tell him?” You asked, doing your best to hide the emotions that wrecked inside.

“Not yet.” He sighed, squeezing your hand in a silent sign of relief. “I don’t even know how. He will probably reject me.”

You felt ashamed for hoping it would happen. You wanted him to be happy, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but wonder.

Couldn’t he be happy with me?

You took a deep breath, but as you exhaled, you were caught by a coughing fit.

“Hey, are you alright?” He worried.

You frowned as you stared at the hand you used to cover your mouth as you coughed. The rose petals on your palm were drenched in red and made you stomach drop.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” You lied, waving it off.

“Okay… Ah, that’s right, you wanted to tell me something?” he remembered.

You looked down, shaking your head no.

“Nah, it’s nothing.”

Maybe some other time…

It got harder to sleep.

Weeks turned into months and you only got worse. It didn’t take long and the petals turned into whole rose buds that you threw up dripping with blood. The thorns lacerated your throat and tongue, but somehow it did not hurt as bad as the truth.

Takao Kazunari would never return your love.

It all started as friendship and progressed to a secret crush. When did it become unrequited love?

It was too late for confessions, though.

Time was running out.

You should have told him.

Maybe you should have tried… But would it change anything? He was happy and it was all that really mattered in the end.

What is it to love, if not to forget all about yourself as you remember all of somebody else?

You watched from far as they exchanged subtle looks, smiles, brushing of hands. Takao had told you, quite excitedly and clueless, about how his feelings were returned. You told him you were happy for him.

You were only sad for yourself.

Later, standing in your room, you allowed yourself to feel it all. The soft caress of the curtains against your bare arm, the cool rush of wind that snaked inside from the cracks of the window, the feel of the photograph between your fingers…

As you slowly breathed, you could feel the thorns scratching your heart. Your almost asthmatic condition was torturing, agonizing; the flowers now crushed your lungs from inside. Still, somehow you found comfort looking at his smiling face. You stared at his picture again with a small smile on your own.

He was pointing at the camera, holding a basketball with his other hand. It felt as if it was the day before when you had snapped that picture. You could still hear his voice loud and clear, as if he was right beside you.

“I can’t believe it, you suck at basketball!” he laughed. “I have to teach you!”

“But Kazu, that would take forever!” You laughed too, holding your phone ready to take the photograph.

He pointed at the camera, a huge smile on his face.

“Don’t worry, we have all the time in the world!”

How ironic.

You smiled, closing your eyes, teardrops running down your face one last time.

Time’s up.

So... I asked @xxxneonsoundxxx​ for a challenge and this is the result.

Hope you like it! x

Complicated Little Emotions- Part 1

Part 2 should be posted in the next couple of days. That’s where the direct sherlolly interactions will begin. Thanks for bearing with me, readers. ;))

The door to her flat shut, not even hard, but it still made Molly wince in pain. She stood there for a few moments, frozen with her arms crossed tightly over her middle as she felt heat pool in her face and pressure build throat. She could hardly breathe at first, and when her body finally insisted on air, the process became an agonizing combination of respiration and sobbing.

With her vision now horribly blurred, Molly marched down the hallway and into her bedroom. The force of her steps set Toby on alert and he jetted from the bed to hide underneath the armchair by her window. Which was fortunate for him, seeing as Molly was in no mood to be gentle with the bed linens.

She whipped the duvet and sheet from off the bed and tossed it on the floor, along with the throw blanket that hung on the footboard. She violently removed the pillow cases; all four regular ones and the two shams. Amongst sobs that were growing louder by the moment, she climbed onto the bed to tug the corners of the fitted sheets and mattress pad away from the mattress, sniffling as she finally balled them up and chucked them at the floor along with the rest of the items.

She collapsed then, atop her completely bare bed, curling up and weeping uncontrollably. How stupid she felt; utterly ridiculous and childish! Molly couldn’t even believe that she’d managed to convince herself that somehow things would be anything other than what they were this morning. How, in the moments that it took for her to make that decision the night before, did she conclude that things would somehow turn out well?

Molly lay there fifteen minutes later, spent from crying, staring blankly up at her ceiling. Toby felt it safe to join her and she absentmindedly scratched his fuzzy head and felt the soft rumbling of his purring against her side. It hurt so badly to lay there feeling like she did at that moment. The contrast to twelve short hours before was so very extreme. It really was too awful to dwell on. She decided that she really shouldn’t.

A few minutes later, Molly Hooper forced herself to get up, start the linens washing, get ready for work, and get on with her life.

Sherlock pulled up a chair and sat down across from his brother, both of their expressions weary, even three weeks after their lives completely changed. Mycroft dumped a file on the desk in front of Sherlock and smiled tightly.

“All loose ends officially tied then?” Sherlock questioned softly as he picked up the file.

“Yes, I should say so. Even Mummy and Daddy seem relatively at ease.” Mycroft sighed. “Largely thanks to you.”

The two brothers exchanged a look for a moment, both fully aware of the part that each of them had played, good and bad, and the way their lives would never be the same.

Mycroft drew a deep breath. “Oh and the search was done, as you requested. During the work day of course, so she was completely unaware.”

Sherlock’s leaned forward in interest and he set the file down again. “And?”

“Completely clear of danger, as Eurus stated. No explosives. We found the surveillance cameras though. All have been removed from Molly Hooper’s flat.”

Sherlock released a breath. “Good,” he stated softly. “Thank you, Mycroft.”

“Interestingly,” Mycroft went on. “The surveillance was not just found in her kitchen. There were also cameras found in each room of her flat. “

The younger Holmes eyes widened a bit as he listened to his brother.

“Naturally she could have been in any room when answering her mobile and that had to be accounted for, but it would also explain why Eurus would have been so sure of herself when setting up that particular challenge for you. Especially since the cameras had been there for at least a few weeks. Enough time to collect a bit of dust…and the necessary evidence.”

"Evidence? What evidence?” Sherlock fired back.

Mycroft smiled in his typical know-it-all way. “The evidence that you just all but spelled out for me.” He folded his hands atop the desk. “You must realize how colossally transparent you are at the moment.”

Sherlock paused, looking down for a moment. “And where did the surveillance footage go?” His voice had gotten a little smaller, perhaps even a bit sheepish. “Was it being fed back to Sherringford? And if so…what happened to it?”

“It was being fed there, yes. And I was going to leave its ultimate fate to you. I could of course have my people review it if-“

“No,” Sherlock answered without hesitation. “Absolutely nobody is to review that footage.”

Mycroft’s brow shot up. “It’ll be going in the bin then, I assume?”

"Yes," Sherlock agreed firmly before standing and buttoning his suit jacket. “There’s absolutely no need to compromise Molly’s privacy any further.”

“Or yours?” Mycroft asked receiving a small glare from his brother. “There’s little point in denying it.”

Sherlock picked up the file and marched to the door. “Thank you for providing the final report. And if you could continue to provide a helicopter biweekly at the previously specified time, that would be appreciated.”

“Indefinitely?” Mycroft questioned.

“Is our sister ever again to see the light of day?” Sherlock asked with his hand poised at the door.

Mycroft’s expression fell a bit. “You know very well that she can’t,” he confirmed solemnly.

Sherlock nodded. “Then yes…indefinitely.”

"And have you spoken to Molly Hooper? Since that day?"

Sherlock stopped again before opening the door. He turned to face his brother again. “What do you care?”

Mycroft shrugged. “Call it curiosity I suppose. I wondered if perhaps there was more damage done than what was inflicted on that ill fated coffin.”

Sherlock’s lips were set in a hard line and his eyes were tired. “Let’s put it this way- that was the last call of mine that she’s answered. And when I’ve seen her in passing, she is indifferent at best. I imagine that I could more easily piece together that stupid coffin than anything resembling a friendship with Molly Hooper.” He smiled wryly at his brother. “Thank you for asking.”

With that, Sherlock took his leave.

Mycroft sat there silently for a moment, alone with his thoughts. But finally, he pressed the intercom on his phone. “Anthea, would you come in here for a moment? I have a small but urgent delivery that I’d like for you to arrange.”

“Molly, thanks again,” John said as he walked into her flat.

“No problem. She was a peach, as usual,” Molly stated with a smile. “I can go get her up now if you need to run.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. Give her a few more minutes sleeping. And here, I grabbed your mail for you.” He set the envelopes and things on her kitchen counter.

Molly started flipping through but made a face when she came to a plain white heavier envelope with just her name on the front. “This was in there too?”

“Yeah it was.”

She opened it and pulled out a DVD…with nothing but a date written on it. A date three weeks ago she’d rather forget. She’d had a bad day.

“John, what is this?” Molly demanded, her voice hardening.

Fear flooded John’s gaze now. “I- I dunno. But there’s been quite a lot of DVDs being mailed around these days so…maybe we should call Sherlock.”

“No!” Molly looked embarrassed right away after shooting down that offer so quickly. “I just, um, I haven’t spoken to him in a few weeks so…”

“Yeah, about that...look, I think he’d really like to-” John paused, clearly not sure what to say himself. “A lot happened on that island and with his sister. Things I didn’t want to tell you the last time we talked because I’m sure there’s some of it he’d like to explain himself if you gave him the chance.”

Molly shook her head, staring down at the disk. Yes, she knew where the three men had been some weeks ago and that this was when she’d received that dreadful phone call, but beyond that she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know more.

“John, I’m glad you told me what you did before, but really, anything that Sherlock has to say...I dunno if I’m ready to hear it.”

“I think you’ll want to,” John said softly.

She smiled at John as best she could. "I'll think about it.”

“Hey, do you want me to stay? Are you gonna try and watch that now? Just in case of...whatever it is.”

Molly nodded. “Yeah. Maybe you should stay. I mean, what if it’s…” She swallowed hard.

John nodded. “Right. Ok let’s do this then.”

They made their way into the sitting room and John set up the DVD. He took a seat next to Molly on the sofa and gave her hand a little pat before pressing play. They were both equally shocked when Mycroft’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hello, Dr. Hooper,” Mycroft said with a smile. “Not to worry, everything is fine. I simply thought there was something you should see with your own eyes. I believe I can be at least partly held responsible for much of what occurred some weeks ago, so perhaps I feel the need to right a few wrongs. Please do take my advice and give the rest of this DVD a watch. It is something that is difficult to comprehend if you haven’t witnessed it with your own eyes. And I believe it is something you have the right to understand to the full.” One more small smile and Mycroft’s face disappeared.

Before either Molly or John could say anything, the picture switched to a stone room with a coffin on display in the middle. At that moment, John’s hand went to his mouth.

“Oh God, this is at Sherringford.”

“What?” Molly looked horrified. “You mean where you all were? With Eurus?”

Sherlock's voice came on then.

“Is there really no one there that can help you? Have you really really checked?”

Molly began listening to the exchange between him and the little girl’s voice with her heart in her throat. But that was nothing compared to her level of anxiety once Eurus began speaking to him and explaining about someone’s life hanging in the balance.

“Whose coffin, Sherlock? Please, start your deductions.”

Molly felt John grab her hand at that moment. Clearly he knew this wasn't going to be pleasant. She listened as Sherlock rattled off the particulars of what sort of person would inhabit this coffin and then saw his face shift as Mycroft presented him with the plaque on the top of the lid. And then Sherlock face truly fell as he made the final deductions about who the coffin must be for.

“Oh God,” Molly breathed, squeezing John’s hand tighter. “I don’t know if I can-“

“No, Mycroft is right,” John countered, back and shoulders straight. “He’s right, you need to see this. But I’m right here, I’ll stay with you.”

Only minutes later and she was softly weeping while staring at the screen with her heart pounding in her ears. Molly held her breath at her own hesitance to respond to the repeated declaration from Sherlock. He stared at the screen, begged desperately, and Molly squeezed John’s hand all the more tightly as she watched herself take her time bringing the phone close to her lips and then finally whispering the words in return.

“I love you.”

Molly covered her face for a moment as a sob escaped but John tugged at her hands.

“No no, Molly, please keep watching.”

She wiped at her eyes and focused on the screen again as she listened in horror to Eurus words explaining to Sherlock that there was never any danger and that he’d done nothing but succeeding in hurting himself and her. She watched in some confusion at first as Sherlock walked slowly over and picked up the lid to the coffin and put it in place, running his hand along the top. But a second later her hand flew to her mouth again and she let out a little gasp at the sight of Sherlock losing all control and smashing the coffin to bits with his bare hands. She could hear his screams echoing and watched as he finally collapsed against the stone wall and slid down to sit, completely spent of energy, looking broken and beaten.

A second later, the screen went black.

“Oh God,” Molly murmured and then covered her face again and let the tears fall freely. John put his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment. When she finally pulled away, she sniffed and sighed. Mycroft was right. She had needed to see that with her own eyes.

“He never meant to hurt you, Molly,” John said softly. “It was the last thing Sherlock wanted. And the knowledge that he had, and not even for the purpose of saving your life…” He shook his head. “I think that it broke him. We watched people, innocent people, die in front of our eyes, most of them because of decisions that we were forced to make. But he didn’t break down like that at any other moment that day. Only then, only about you.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I um, I didn’t think he could be that cruel. I was surprised that even he would pull something like that; demanding something like that over the phone. Especially given what we’d-“ She stopped herself and smiled nervously at John. “I should probably just talk to him.”

He smiled and gave her back a little rub. “Yeah I hope you two, you know, work it out. I know he can be a git, but he cares. He really does care about you. He wanted to save your life, but I don’t think he was lying, especially not losing it like he did. I know what it means to um…” He scratched his temple, hesitating. “To be afraid of losing someone who means that much. It can very nearly tear you apart.”

She put her arm around him, giving his shoulder an extra squeeze. Of course he knew what was like.

“Thanks, John,” Molly said genuinely. “And thanks for staying with me. It wasn’t easy to watch. Nothing like having to live through it though, I’m sure.”

“We’re all just happy to be safe now.” John started to get up, but then stopped and spoke again. “By the way, it wasn’t really what I was able to appreciate in that moment seeing as, you know, I thought you were about to be blown to bits.”

Molly couldn’t help a small laugh, despite the gravity of the whole thing.

“But, if I’m able to factor that bit out now,” John continued with a look of something like deep respect. “That had to be one of the most...amazing things I’ve ever seen someone make Sherlock do; to say those words. For whatever it’s worth, it was incredible to witness.”

Molly smiled. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was incredible in a way. She certainly did consider it a bit of a miracle in that moment. Though, she could hardly call it a victory. There were no winners, not really. Maybe Eurus had been right.

As John packed up Rosie and her things and left that afternoon, Molly was left with the realization that nothing was simple. Nothing was as simple as the fact that they were all alive and walking around and grateful for that fact. It was all so much messier and more complicated than that.

And now, all the complications would just have to be dealt with.

Forced Time

Raphael and Reader

This wasn’t how you expected your day to go, not at all. This was supposed to be a fun little trip into the lower tunnels of the old subway stations to take some unique pictures for your newly renovated office. Raphael had caught wind of your plans for a subterranean venture when you were talking to Donnie about a possible light source and offered to be your escort.

 You hadn’t even realized his intimidating presence loitering in the door way of Donnie’s lab before his booming voice interrupted your discussion. “It’s dangerous to go all the way down there by yourself. It’s a never ending maze and you could get lost forever if you don’t have someone who knows the layouts. I..um…I’ll take ya down.” The temperamental terrapin grumbled in the doorway spinning a single sai in his skilled fingers.

 Donnie’s brown eyes looked to you and back to his hothead brother and agreed laughing under his breath like he knew something you didn’t. “He’s right Y/N, it’s better to go with someone just in case something happens. The boost I made to both your cells a few weeks ago should give you both service down there, as an extra precaution.”

 If it had been any other of the brothers you would have protested, you weren’t a helpless little girl. You had lived in New York all your life and had spent most of your teenage years exploring the sewers. And funny enough that was how you met the turtles. You had been visiting your old hideout, a deserted pump station when you stumbled upon the four of them scavenging parts from the station for a new project for the genius.  You had heard stories of four green monsters roaming the sewers but chalked it up to paranoid crack heads making up stories to get attention. But there they were, huge, muscular and fucking beautiful.

 Your eyes had immediately trained in on the red brute, and found yourself a little awe struck by his impressive stature and piercing green eyes. You had been smitten with Raphael from that day but hadn’t been able to tell him, you just didn’t have the confidence to step out on that particular limb. Not yet at least. So when Raphael volunteered to escort you down to the abandoned station you were quick to agree with fake annoyance.

 Both you and the brute were fitted with Donnie’s newest contraption, an LED light pack that illuminated everything around you for 200 feet. Nearly indestructible, charged from kinetic energy by the simple movement of footsteps and thankfully light as a feather. Don was excited that it was getting their first field test and demanded a full report when you got back.

 You both had made it down a few levels and were admiring the architecture and snapping several shots of the abandoned structures when a rumble echoed below your feet. It was barely noticeable at first, just a small vibration that steadily grew. You looked over at Raphael and found the big mutant currently running his green fingers over a stone pillar seemly unaware of the tremor. Lifting your camera you took a quick shot of him catching his attention. His green eyes fixated on you and his lips curled into a shit eating grin.

 “See somethin’ you like?” he growled softly just enough to reach your ears.

 You were about to answer the loaded question when the ground at your feet started heaving and cracking making everything around you start to crumble and shift. Pillars slid from their bases shattering into pieces at your feet followed by large sections of ceiling giving way no longer supported by their supports. On instinct you dodged the falling debris as it came crashing down nearly crushing you beneath its weight. More and more of the crumbling structure began to fall and you tried to find Raphael through it all, searching for his emerald skin and red bandana.

 “Raphael!” you screamed leaping out of the way of a large ancient light fixer as it came crashing down. Rolling away from the shattering glass you scrambled to your feet feeling a shard pierce the flesh of your thigh but ignored the pain for the preservation of you life. Just then you heard the deep voice of Raphael bellow out your name just in time for you to notice a gigantic section of the ceiling about to crush you.

 A small chunk hit your shoulder first making you cry out and closed your eyes waiting for the end, for the unforgiving eternal darkness to claim you. You felt the hit, the force making the colors behind your eyes snap white for a second then bursting to a brilliant array of multi colors. Then you felt yourself slam to the ground, the back of your skull colliding with the hard ground and you started to cry out but stifled your response when you heard a loud grunt just above you.

 Before you opened your eyes you felt dust and small pieces of debris fall to your cheeks but nothing big. Nothing that would crush you or break bones, just the pain from your thigh, shoulder and now the throbbing from the back of your skull.

 Shaking the loose debris from your face you finally allowed your eyes to open and found the brute’s straining face just above yours. Then you suddenly became very aware of the dire situation you both were now in. Raphael and his shell were currently keeping several very large pieces of the cement ceiling from crushing you both. Each of his green hands was on either side of your face and the densely bunched muscles in his biceps and triceps were quivering from the strain of the immense weight he was supporting.

  His eyes were scrunched closed as he concentrated on keeping you both alive, keeping his body from coming down on you suffocating you both. It was then you realized just how strong Raph was, and you were immediately thankful he had followed you down, because if he didn’t you would be dead.

 Thankfully Donnie’s lights had seemed to take the abuse of the collapse and kept you both from the darkness; you don’t what you would have done if you were down there in the pitch black, trapped.

 “R-raph…”

 His green eyes shot open and huffed a heavy breath from his efforts and tried his best to smile. “Are y-ya hurt?”

 “I h-have a cut on my leg, my shoulder hurts and I knocked the back of my head pretty good. But other than that I think I’m good…..well as much as one can be in this situation. Are you…are you ok?”

 Another grunt as the debris on top of him shifted and he lowered towards you an inch. “I’m peachy; I think I cracked my shell though…..look y/n I need you to pull out my phone and hit the emergency button. It’s in my left pocket. We’re gonna need help, I don’t know how long I can hold this?”

 Another shift and the closer he came. You could feel his labored breathing fan across your face, if the situation wasn’t so dire you would have been happy to be this close to his handsome face. Inching down his large frame the best you could in the cramped quarters you found the pocket and sunk your hand it searching for the device. Your fingers quickly found the phone but also managed to knock against something hanging between his legs soft and heavy.

 You heard his breath catch and you swore under your breath quickly pulling the phone out and pressed the button. After a few agonizing seconds the phone rage and Leo’s concerned voice boomed through the speakers.

 “Raph! Are you ok? What happened?”

 “Fearless, w-we may need some assistance. There must have been an earth quake below us and made the room collapse on us.” You could hear the stress in his voice, Raph was struggling.

 “Y/N? Is she ok?”

 “Yeah Leo, we’re both ok for now. Can..um…you guys hurry? Raph doesn’t look so good.” You cut in hoping to hurry them.

 Raphael hissed and shook his head, “I’m fine, just get your asses down here.”  

 “We’re on our way, hold on you two.” Leo called before the phone went dead leaving you both alone again.

 The surrounding area was quiet now besides a few pieces falling into the destroyed space that was once a train station from the aftermath. Hopefully the worst was over. If one more heavy piece fell on his shell you’d both be done for.

 You put the phone away in your pocket and looked up to find Raphael staring at you. His green eyes were wide and his breathing was coming quicker than before. Something cracked and moved and Raph grunted again collapsing further down.

 “You saved me.” You suddenly said reaching up to touch his face that was so close you could have leaned up and kissed those lips you had craved ever since you had met the mutant.

 “I ah, I couldn’t stand the thought of ya dyin.” His voice was low and shaky like he was unsure of himself.

 You didn’t know if these moments were going to be your last, it would be a shame if you didn’t tell him how you felt and you both died not knowing. Both your hands grabbed a hold of his arms hoping to give him your strength to keep his firm. You pressed to try and assist with the weight knowing it was futile but you hated sitting there doing nothing while he bore the whole load by himself.  

 “Raph.” You started looking up into his face; you could see sweat beading on his forehead. “I know this might be the most appropriate time for this but then again it might be the perfect time. I don’t wanna die not knowing what it feels like…..” you trailed off suddenly feeling a little self conscious.

 “You wanna know what, what feels like?” he urged licking his dry lips.

 God you felt stupid, just go for it, “If this is the end and the guys can’t get down here in time, I don’t wanna die not knowing what it felt like to kiss you.”

 Again his breath caught and his fierce eyes focused down on you, “Ya wanna kiss me? How long have you wanted to do that?”

 Slowly your right hand left his arm and pressed softly on his scared plastron, “Since the first day I met you.”

 “W-why….fuck….” he collapsed further down and his mouth was inched from yours and his plastron was brushing against your stomach now. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” there was a hint of panic now in his voice.

 “I was scared.”

 “And you’re not scared now?”

 You lifted your head a little to brush your lips against his, “I’m terrified Raphael. I don’t wanna die. But these could be our last moments and I don’t want to waste them worrying about what could have been. I’m going to kiss you now.” You took a deep breath and captured his lips moaning softly when he returned the kiss with vigor immediately pressing his tongue into your mouth.

 God he tasted good, like sweat and leather wrapped in spices. His broad tongue swirled against yours making you wonder how he got so good at this. How many people had he kissed? Quit thinking about that now you idiot. Abandoning his chest and arm you cupped his cheeks slanting your mouth allowing your mouths to move smoother with each other. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t you be in your apartment right now lying down on your bed with his weight pressing you blissfully down in to the mattress instead of inches from crushing you?  

 A snap was heard followed by a grinding sound and your mouths broke free gasping for breath. His eyes widened as if knowing what was coming and he braced the best he could. Another piece collided with the back of his shell and he yelped in pain closing the last empty space between your bodies. His golden plastron pressed down expelling the remaining air from your lungs.

 From the newly added weight his face was now buried in your neck and Raphael could hear you start to gasp for air, he was suffocating you. He tried to push himself up, tried to give you the space you needed for your lungs to expand to get the oxygen you required. But it was no use, he was pinned and the last remaining strength he had was keeping the horrid weight from crushing your bones.

 You couldn’t breathe and all the weight that was on your chest wouldn’t allow you any leeway to the air you desperately needed. You were going to die here but at least you were in his arms.

 “Raphael!” you could hear them in the distance, they were coming.

 “L-LEO! Over here quick!” Raphael tried to scream but it only came out in a muffled cry and his plastron was beginning to concave in on itself.

 “The signal is coming from over here!” you heard Donnie calling, but it was like he was getting farther away. All the sounds felt like they were getting father away. God you needed air, you didn’t want to die. The darkness was creeping around your vision pulling you towards oblivion. You brain was reacting to the lack of oxygen and was shutting down, you were dying.

 Slowly your fingers slid over his cheeks memorizing how he felt, the soft ridges of his scales and the scar across his lip, the lips you had just got to kiss. His breath was hot against your ear coming in shallower now; the pressure was affecting his ability to breath now too.

 Raphael could feel your fingers glide across his skin, feeling, touching. Then they slowed and stopped halting their exploration falling from their perch on his face. “Y/N?” he gasped the best he could. “Y/N they’re almost here, hold on!” But you were no longer struggling against him; your chest was still now, unmoving. “No! NO!”

 Suddenly everything on top of him began to shift and lift alleviating the pressure and Raphael sucked in dusty but much needed air into his burning lungs. The final piece lifted and three pairs of strong hands lifted him up and onto his feet allowing him to see your lifeless form lying on the cold ground.

 Raphael lunged forward out of his brothers grasp and lifted your limp body into his arms and away from your makeshift tomb. Setting you down quickly he started chest compressions and CPR frantically trying to breath the life back into you.

 Seconds turned into minutes and nothing happened. Your body shifted listlessly below his hands as his three brothers watched anxiously over his shoulder.

 “Come on Y/N, wake up! Please I need you to wake up! Fuck!” he continued his compressions and Donnie’s hand rested on his shoulder.

 “She’s gone Raph; if you keep going you’re going to crush her rib cage.”  

 “No Donnie, I’m not giving up! We just….. I got to…..finally got to kiss her. I’ve wanted to do that since we saw her staring wide eyed at us over a year ago. I wanna…..I wanna do it again.” Raphael leaned down again blowing air into your lungs and finally crumbled under the emotional stress and stopped, leaving his lips covering yours. He pressed his lips one more time to yours kissing you, savoring how you tasted one more time.

 Then without warning your lips responded and your hands lifted encircling his neck pulling him down so you could kiss him deeper, to tasted him better. A shuttering cry left him as he realized you were alive and plunged his tongue into your mouth in pure relief.

 With a pop he pulled free of you looking down at your smiling face. “You’re alive!”

 Allowing him to pull you up into a sitting position you coughed, “I had to give Donnie a report on how his lights fared in their first field test. Plus how could I disappoint you if you wanted another kiss?”

 Raphael growled and closed the distance covering your mouth with his again.

 Donnie looked back and forth to Mikey and Leo and returned his eyes back to you and Raphael, “So how did they do?”

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