Tumgik
#i got really into james' brain with this answer
mppmaraudergirl · 2 years
Note
I think CL James and his flaws are a credit to your characterization. I think we're seeing a fair depiction of what canon James could be if he didn't have Lily around as a foil to inspire some self-reflection and growth and a looming war that would force him to mature. Likewise, he didn't have a kid at 19 and his doting parents are alive and well. I think all of these things shaped canon James into the man that puts himself between his family and Voldemort despite not having a wand. But without those things in CL, he's still arrogant and kind of full of himself. He maintains his selflessness towards the people he cares about, but he's otherwise fairly self-absorbed (and aren't we all?). I'd love to hear thoughts on how you developed him if you'd be interested in sharing.
(But, like also, if I dislike James for using Lucy to get over Lily...then do I also dislike Lily for using Doc to get over James? 😟)
(Also, I still love Daphne. How can I not? She is the only one that is being direct with James about his feelings towards Lily and the only one that he feels comfortable speaking to honestly about it.)
FearAnon!! First things first, is there a better name than FearAnon for me to say? (Not that I don't love it ofc haha) Bold? Something different?
I think you've really nailed it here. I've tried to keep the basics of James' character intact, but I did go through that exercise where I said: okay, what would a world look like that could lead to player James? I concluded fairly quickly that this could come from this type scenario: no LV, no pending war, no Lily in his formative years, skilled enough to be a professional athlete, and with his stable parents still around.
He wouldn't have the same types of responsibilities and he could still remain loyal while being self-absorbed and focused on his career. Ultimately though I think (and try to show) that the Canon James is under there. That this James would still stand up and do those things if the world demanded it of him now.
I wouldn't go so far as to say Lily or James went into relationships to "use" Doc or Lucy. Rather Lily did so in good faith because a handsome guy was interested in her. James is a little more gray I'll grant but he's also in general not managing his feelings well (avoiding and ignoring). At the end of the day I think (even perceived) unrequited feelings can make people do things that might not be as well thought out as we'd like.
I love this line about Daphne because in a way, James going to her is another act born from being self-absorbed. Could he absolutely talk to Remus and Sirius? Yes. But he's already got an idea in his mind about what they'll say and he doesn't want to hear it. As much as he never planned to act on Daphne's advice, he felt better hearing that, having someone argue against his feeling of inadequacy than hear (what he expects to be) confirmation of it. It's been very fun to write!
18 notes · View notes
crazy-pages · 6 months
Text
I'm going to throw my two cents in to the conversation about why James Somerton didn't get caught earlier. Part of the answer is of course that he did get caught, he just bullied and lied to get away with it for a while, but I know a lot of people still express confusion. And of course he went out of his way to make sure his audience didn't know about other queer history sources other than himself. But still. How could he have so many viewers of his videos and none of them had seen X source material?
Well. To be blunt, most of his videos were pretty basic. He tended to copy the highlights of what he was plagiarizing, not the really advanced stuff. And insofar as he copied the advanced stuff, he had a tendency to chop it up and serve it out of context alongside other plagiarized work. The material he was presenting was revolutionary to an audience unfamiliar with queer history, but like. I'm guessing 'Disney villains are queer coded' is not exactly a new concept to the kind of people who read multiple books about queer coding in film.
Now I'm not a film studies person, I'm a physicist. But you know what I do when I get a video in my YouTube recommendations about some fairly basic physics concept?
I skip it. No shade to the creator, but like. I hit that topic a decade ago and I've added literally thousands of hours of studying and research to my brain since. I'm just going to give it a pass, all right?
These kinds of videos self-select for an audience which isn't going to be familiar with the source material. The people who know it are unlikely to keep listening after the first minute or so.
And you've got to remember how much of this content the experts have consumed! With very few exceptions for weird little things that stuck in my head after all these years, I would probably not notice a physics explanation plagiarized from one of my textbooks! Not because I wasn't intimately acquainted with the textbook, but because I was intimately acquainted with many such textbooks. Spend enough time learning this stuff and it all blurs together a little bit. Does this explanation sound familiar because you've heard it before, or because you've just read books which cover this specific topic seven different times? And does that wording or that example ring a bell because it's plagiarized, or because it's common to the field?
Catching this kind of plagiarism requires having the kind of people who are already familiar with these sources, and therefore uninterested in video summaries on the topic, to watch the video. And among those people who do, it requires them to match Somerton's words to one specific source on the topic out of many, that they probably read quite some time ago. And then you have the filter of how many of those subject matter experts have the source on hand to check, to turn a vague "...hmm" into something solid.
If you know enough about queer history to say that some of his plagiarism was obvious, now that you've watched the video, then you should remember that there is a reason you probably weren't one of the people watching his videos! And because YouTube promotes videos through algorithmic engagement, none of this stuff has to pass the sniff test for any other expert in the field before it gets released. No experts have to like it for it to get published or for it to get good reviews or for it to get a recommendation in, I don't know, the New York Times.
The only people who have to like the videos for them to get traction are people who are just trying to learn introductory queer history and film theory. The exact people who aren't going to notice this. And for those of you who to whom it is obvious, ask yourself. When was the last time you watched a basic level queer history introduction on YouTube?
2K notes · View notes
moonstruckme · 7 months
Note
touchy bestfriend james makes my brain short circuit i love it so much
can u write a touchy bestfriend james and he’s lying on the bed while reader is in the bathroom and r comes in and sees him and he tells r to come over and lie with him then they fall asleep but she wakes up because he’s awake and playing with her boobs like stress balls and r asks what he’s doing then he just says that they feel warm and soft
Okay this was definitely a rough attempt, but I hope you like it!
cw: pg-13 level smut
bestfriend!James x fem!reader ♡ 618 words
When you come in, James looks nearly asleep despite the sunlight still streaming in through the windows. His face has gone soft and squishy, lips in a half-pout from how his cheek is smushed into his pillow. His hair is getting so long he’s had to push most of it to the back of his head to be able to see his phone screen where he scrolls idly in front of him, but one stubborn curl falls down his face and rests on the bridge of his nose. 
“What, do I have a massive pimple or something?” he asks without looking up. “What’re you staring at me for?” 
You cover your embarrassment with annoyance, rolling your eyes as you lean against the doorway. “Just wondering why you look like you’re about to drift off at four in the afternoon.” 
“Because it’s nice and warm in the sun,” he answers easily. “C’mere, love.” 
You do what he says (you always do, in the end), crawling onto the bed and laying down beside him. James shuts off his phone, setting it down in favor of sliding his hand between your waist and the mattress, big palm coming to rest at your navel as he tugs your back closer to his front. You don’t know about the sun, but James is certainly warm. 
“Your arm’s gonna fall asleep,” you point out. 
“Don’t care,” he says, already sounding drowsier. 
“Don’t we have to be up to meet Remus and Sirius in a couple hours?” 
“We will be.” 
You’re out of protests, and not unhappy for it. James’ palm is warm and comforting on your stomach, his other hand reaching over you to rest just below your sternum. His breathing evens out quickly, and it’s that steady rhythm that eventually lulls you into sleep with him. 
You wake, an indeterminable amount of time later, because something feels odd. You rouse slowly, aware first of the pleasant warmth at your back, then of the fact that you’re fully clothed in James bed, and finally of his hands on your boobs. 
He’s squeezing them, feeling about with curious but sure hands, one tit in each. You lie there motionlessly, unsure if James is awake, or honestly, if you are. His touch is oddly comforting, and while your best friend is a very tactile person, this level of intimacy is unusual enough that you almost wonder if you might be dreaming. Then he squeezes too hard, and you’re sure you’re not. 
“Ow!” you flinch back into James, hand coming up to grip his wrist. “What, are you trying to get milk to come out?”
“Hm?” James’ voice is sleepy, less so as he realizes the placement of his hands. His grip loosens. “Oh, shit. Sorry, love, I was half-asleep. Didn’t realize I was doing that.” 
He doesn’t sound nearly as embarrassed as you would be in his situation, but that’s James. “It’s okay,” you say (really, it’s more than okay). “Just, it hurts when you squeeze that hard. They’re sensitive, Jamie.” 
You feel him nod against the back of your head. “M’sorry, sweetheart, didn’t mean to hurt ya.” He doesn’t move his hands, though, and you make no move to encourage him to. “They’re just really warm and soft, y’know?”
You do know. The thing poking into your back is warm too, though not so soft. 
“I mean, I don’t mind,” you say, glad you’re facing away so he can’t see the intense blush spreading over your face like a blight. “It’s sort of nice. Just…don’t squeeze so hard, okay?” 
James’ thumb soothes over the skin of your breast, a comforting touch and a promise. He begins to knead at it gently. “Got it,” he says.
2K notes · View notes
Text
cease - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 218
"Regulus! Oi, Reg! You- I like your shirt!" James called across the courtyard to the younger boy, who looked up and rolled his eyes before turning away and whispering to his friends, who burst into chuckles.
Sirius didn't even wait for Crouch and Rosier's laughter to cease before pulling James away to hiss at him, "Enough is enough, Prongs."
"What?" James asked, somewhat miserably. It hadn't been his best compliment, sure. Regulus was, after all, wearing his school uniform. But it just looked so good on him, so much better than it looked on anyone else, and James's brain got so fuzzy around the Slytherin, he just yelled out whatever came to him, and-
"Stop fake-flirting with him. I know he's a bit of a prat, but he's not, like, Snape, or anything. Give him a break!" Sirius snapped, gesturing to his brother, who was now sneaking glances at them.
But Sirius's answer didn't compute. "Fake- what?" James asked, confused. "Sirius, I'm not faking."
"You're not?" Sirius gasped, looking equally relieved and disgusted. "You really fancy Regulus?"
"Yes," James admitted, his expression going soft. How could he not?
"Well," Sirius breathed, looking to his brother and back to James. "Stop real flirting then, you perv!"
But he was grinning, and somehow, James had a feeling that Sirius approved.
For @starchasersunseeker!
670 notes · View notes
morwap · 11 months
Text
𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍.
regulus black x fem!reader x evan rosier
smut
nav • r.a.b m.list • e.r m.list • poly!revan
sub!regulus, dom!evan, switch!reader, threesome, evan and reg are in the same year as the marauders, praise and degrading, oral m! & f!receiving, p in v, unprotected sex,
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────
evan rosier and regulus black.
the two names that have seemed to never leave your brain since the beginning of 8th year. two people you were never supposed to get involved with nor did you think youd ever even talk to without it being harsh words or hex’s but here you were having feelings for and relations with them.
evans dirty blonde curls and regulus’ grey eyes never seemed to leave your mind just like your frame and scent never left theirs, but at least they could express their feelings and needs with each other and you were stuck with inner monologues and your hand to satisfy yourself til the right time came.
one thing you all had in common was your friends hating the other person. evan had gotten more irritable and his patience was wearing thin when Mulciber or barty talked about you and regulus had to stop evan from lashing out at them and starting something that would be hell to finish, it was almost the same with your friends, james’ passive aggressive comments about regulus made you want to put him in his place but you refrained and remus and peter’s comments on evan made your blood boil as they talked shit about something they actually had no idea about.
sirius was a big factor, you knew hed be hurt if he found out you were fucking his brother and his brothers best friend behind his back but you never meant to get tangled up in regulus’ and evans web. the more you thought about it a lot of your friends would be disappointed so maybe that should’ve told you to cut it off after the first time but it was like a drug, the more you tried to stay away the more your want and need for it grew and eventually you gave in.
your bracelet vibrated once more, it was a gift from both of them to help make communicating better.
the three of you finally met up in the prefect bathroom durning dinner one night, regulus happily told you that him and evan were staying an extra day before going home for the break and that you should try so you all could spend time together before leaving.
and now here you were, almost everyone was gone for winter break and you were one of the few gryffindors left but there was just one problem, remus, remus fucking lupin had also decided to stay an extra day because he had been helping ms pince in the library. knowing remus he had the map, and would defiantly check it he if thought you were acting weird.
watching remus from your seat next to the fire, waiting for him to say he was gonna nap or walk around or go to the library, hoping and praying that he would say something like that so you could leave and get to evan and regulus’ dorm as fast as you could. your bracelet buzzed against your skin once more, you already knew which one was trying to give you the green light as to come to them.
normally it was evan, who only buzzed it once and then a second time if you were really really late; but today it was regulus, the constant buzzing at random times indicated that. you’d tease him about it since it seemed as if he couldn’t wait, you could imagine him mumbling the spell on the bracelet they had and waiting for you to show up at the speed of light and then doing it over and over when you were taking your time to get there.
jumping a little when remus coughed and got up and stretched. “i gotta go to the library, wanna meet up and walk to dinner together later?” remus asked, grabbing his wand and book then fixing his shirt while waiting for you to answer.
you nodded, “yeah ill come up to the library so you dont have to walk all the way over to get me” you said and smiled at him. remus nodded and left the common room.
muttering the spell towards the bracelet to let them know you were on your way. waiting a bit so you knew remus was far away before leaving the common room.
the bracelet buzzing again, making you smile and think about how to tease regulus about it in a bit. turning the corner as you kept looking around for any other people but luckily there was no one around.
evan was waiting for you beside slytherin common room, you watched him play with his sleeve before he looked up and saw you.
crossing his arms with a smile on his face as you got closer then reaching out and pulling you to him.
lips already going at each other and hands roaming and gripping at clothing and skin, hungry and needy for each other from being away for so long. the amount of glances and fantasizing while looking at the other person was gone and replaced with what you both desired, the real fucking thing.
pulling away to catch your breath, hands rubbing against his chest as your back was now up against the cold stone.
“you have no idea how much we missed you” evan whispered, his lips coming back to yours for a quick kiss before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours.
“i think i know by how many times hes buzzed me” you quipped, and evan instantly laughed and shook his head.
“i told him to quit, that you’d be here when you’d get here but hes basically cumming in his pants at anything that has to do with you” evan said, the happy tone in his voice made your heart flutter. you giggled and mumbled the spell to the bracelet, sending two buzzes to let him know you were and it buzzed back almost instantly which made you and evan bust out laughing.
“well, lets not leave him waiting” you laughed and took evans hand, pulling him towards the common room door. evan said the password and looked around to see if the common room had anyone in it, luckily no one was in there.
evan guided you to their dorm, all their dorm mates were gone leaving it the perfect spot.
regulus’ leg bounced up and down, he was excited to see you and get off since evan had been denying him since the night they found out they were staying too, no matter how hard regulus begged for evan to touch him or if he wanted to touch himself the answer was “no, you’ll thank me later” and regulus knew he probably would.
evan snuck you into the room, making sure no one would see you in case they just showed up out of nowhere. regulus jumped up when he heard the door click open. a smile coming onto his face almost instantly.
seeing them used to be awkward but now it was just like hanging out with your friends but so much more intimate, you wished you could be around them all the time which is crazy now since almost a year ago you didn’t like them and they did not like you.
the transition from seeing you again to already getting intimate was smooth and quick, it didn't feel forced like you were just there to have sex with them and then leave, it was loving and like you all had come home from a date together.
you sat on the side of evans bed, regulus was on his knees taking your pajama bottoms off, you could see his hard on in his pants.
“reggie you’re already hard, we’ve barely even started” you teased, regulus whined a bit at you pointing it out, he was aching, had been since he knew today was the day you were coming.
“told you he was practically cumming in his pants” evan quipped as he unbuttoned his shirt.
“I wouldn't be if you had let me cum” regulus snapped back, making evan laugh. you smiled then pouted at regulus.
“he’s so mean isn’t he, i’ll make sure you cum tonight baby” you said to him as you took the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and off him. regulus had scars, not at many as sirius and definitely not as many as remus. he told you about them once, one day on the astronomy tower late into the night.
“thank you” regulus mumbled and side eyed evan. you took off your shirt and looked at evan, he was undoing his pants.
“how about you show her how thankful you really are” evan said with a smirk, regulus looked up at you.
“can i?” he asked, you nodded your head and regulus’ hands went to your panties and pulled them down quickly.
“good boy” evan praises him, your hand went to evans cock which was covered by his boxers. regulus kissed your thighs a few times before licking your slit.
regulus moved your leg over his shoulder, his tongue getting faster as you were getting more turned on. evan leaned down to kiss you, his hand going to your jaw.
you moaned as evan kissed you, regulus’ tongue was lapping at your clit quickly. evans grip on your jaw held you where he wanted you, you continued to touch evans cock.
you pulled down his boxers, he was as hard as regulus now, you broke the kiss and brought your hand to your mouth and spit before stroking his cock.
evan groaned and rolled his head back, you focused on his tip then started stroking him from his base to his tip over and over.
regulus pressed kisses on your clit before sucking then moving down to your entrance. he spread you apart with his fingers, his cock straining in his boxers made him think about touching himself but he wanted to be good for both of you.
“you’re doing so good reggie” you moaned, evan grinned and watched regulus.
a few minutes later you were struggling to keep your hand going, you were so close to cumming, evan knew it and so did regulus, reggie was going faster.
“i think that's enough reg, i think its her turn to make you feel good” evan said, regulus whined and pulled away from you.
regulus leaned up and locked your lips with his, evan started moving his hips while you kept stroking him. regulus pushed himself against his boxers, he was trying so hard to be good.
evan watched you two, his hand moving down to yours, he guided you— making your touches on him more firm. your other hand snaked down into regulus’ boxers and once he felt your soft hand grasping his cock his body shivered and pushed into you.
you could hear evan laugh softly. you smiled as you teased regulus, making him shudder and break the kiss multiple times.
regulus broke the kiss and rested his forehead on your shoulder.
“please—please, keep touching me— i'm almost there” regulus begged, his eyes were closed tightly and he pressed more into you.
you glanced at evan, silently asking for permission.
evan grabbed regulus by his hair gently, pulling his head back to look at him.
“why would you want to cum in her hand when i was gonna let you cum in her” evan asked, cocking his head slightly and furrowing his brows. you stopped touching regulus, pulling your hand out of his boxers.
“what do you wanna do reggie?” you asked him, placing a kiss on his neck.
regulus lets out a sigh, “i wanna cum in you” he says with a nod.
evan let go of regulus’ hair, your hand dropped from evan as he took a step back and walked to the other side of the bed.
“lay down regulus” he commanded, regulus moved from you and got onto the bed, you turned to watch them.
evan guided regulus onto his back, moving his head to hang off the edge of the bed a bit. your hand moved to regulus’ thigh, rubbing up and down and inching closer to his boxers.
you moved closer to regulus, now hooking your fingers on his waist band.
“you remember don’t you? tap my thigh three times for me to stop” evan reminded him, regulus nodded and hummed in agreement, you and regulus made eye contact as you pulled his boxers down to his mid thigh.
“i love you” you mouthed to him, his face went a bit red before he mouthed it back.
evan smiled as you moved to straddle regulus. he leaned towards you, locking your lips with his for a few moments.
he pulled back, “are you ready?” he whispered softly.
“more than ready” you said, pressing one last kiss on his lips before sinking down onto regulus’ cock.
a sigh came from both of you, you hadn’t had him in so long and it just feels so right. regulus was covered in goosebumps, the feeling of you around him felt so good.
evan tapped regulus’ mouth with his cock. “open your mouth baby” he instructed. evan’s cock glided into regulus’ mouth smoothly, regulus was basically trained to take evan, you three just started and regulus was practically deep throating him.
regulus’ eyes closed and he moved one hand to evan’s thigh and the other to yours. you could see the outline of evan’s cock in regulus’ throat which made you wetter. you started moving your body up and down, trying to find the right spot where your clit would make contact with his pubic area.
“you’re doing so good reggie, being so good for us” you praised, your hand rested on his ribs and the other on the bed. evan could feel regulus whimper, the vibrations took some air from him.
“he really liked that” evan groaned out as he fucked regulus’ mouth faster. you could hear noises coming from regulus as he took evans cock, his nails digging into the skin of your thigh.
you threw your head back as you found the right spot, your clit dragging on his skin and his cock hitting your sweet spot. evan watched you, he missed you so much and was so relieved there was time for you three to be together, he didn’t care if you three just sat in silence, he just wanted to be with you and regulus.
“you’re so pretty darling” evan moaned, his hand grasping your neck gently, you smiled at him and leaned closer to him. your head was still a little tilted back and evan bent to meet you halfway. a sloppy kiss broke out between you two, you tried to keep up but with the friction on your clit it was getting harder to keep a clear head.
evan kept his thrusts at a good pace with a few stops in between so regulus could get a breath, he could feel every moan and whimper regulus produced.
you pulled at evans lip with your teeth teasingly.
“i love you” you whispered into the kiss and evan moaned it back.
you gasped when you felt regulus cum inside you, painting your insides with his cum. your cunt basically milked him, it started to run down out of you and onto the part of his shaft that was exposed and down his balls.
reggie was trembling, you could feel it. Now the knot in your stomach was getting tighter, regulus’ hand was gripping your thigh harsher.
you muttered cuss words as you tried to chase your climax, you were close, so close you could feel the beginning of it. you twisted the bed sheets in your fist as you tried to keep the friction on your sensitive clit up.
evan pressed his lips to your forehead, you watched evan’s dick move in regulus’ throat. you knew you were probably overstimulating reggie.
you clenched around his cock which made regulus whine.
you moaned as you clenched harder, you tried to keep moving as you came, trying to get as much stimulation as possible, your muscles tensed up and your abdomen trembled.
evan was soon to follow, his breathing getting quicker as he could barely stand any more stimulation from regulus. his cum shooting down regulus’ throat, he could feel regulus swallowing everything he gave him and once he was empty evan pulled out of regulus’ mouth.
Regulus took in a few deep breaths and coughed a few times. you gently laid on regulus, your head resting on his chest, his cock still in your cunt. regulus’ hand came to your back, tracing shapes on your skin.
“you took me so good reggie, i’m so proud of you baby” evan praised, leaning down to kiss regulus’ forehead.
you hummed in agreement with evan, “we’re both so proud of you” you added. regulus smiled and mumbled a ‘thank you,’ you felt evan place a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.
“you alright darling?” he asked, you smiled and nodded.
“just perfect” you responded.
1K notes · View notes
hailsatanacab · 5 months
Text
a father's son
Happy holiday truce, @dashing-through-ecto!! I was your gifter this year, I hope you enjoy the fic! Based on your prompt: "Do you need any help, Dad?"
Word count 2.2k - ao3 link
Things have not been going well for Danny Fenton.
Not only did he fail in intercepting Lancer’s call home, so now Mom and Dad know about his latest grades—he didn’t even get enough answers for an F this time, not when he fell asleep within the first five minutes—but they also caught Jazz taking the trash out for him.
“That’s one of your chores, young man! Heaven knows you don’t have many of them, which is why you need to be responsible and actually do the ones that we give you! It’s just not good enough, Daniel James Fenton, do you hear me?”
The full name.
It’s not often he gets it, but it sucks each and every time he does.
What sucks even more is that now, with what little free time he has, he’s cleaning the lab. It’s just not fair!
Broken glass skitters along the floor as he sweeps it up into the dustpan, ectoplasm still clinging to the bottom of the beaker. 
He can’t even goof off—can’t even use his powers to finish quicker—because his dad is sitting at the workbench tinkering with whatever his newest interest is.
Great. Looks like he’s stuck cleaning the boring, human way.
The lab is quiet, but it isn’t silent. 
Ectoplasm drips, maddeningly, from the gloop stuck on the ceiling. That’s a form of torture, isn’t it? Danny’s pretty sure he’s heard that before, that the constant sound of water droplets will drive someone insane. He can relate, because this is certainly testing him.
Dad’s talking to himself, too, little murmurs about what he’s doing, where he should be soldering, how it should be working and why it isn’t. 
Vaguely, Danny wonders what he’s working on. Sure, it’s probably some ghost thing, but that’s not all they do! His parents made some pretty great advances before the portal switched on and monopolised all of their thoughts.
Yeah, that might be wishful thinking, but stranger things have happened! You never know.
Every 30 seconds, the motor on the ecto-filter whirrs into life, syphoning off the excess, pure ectoplasm from the portal and filtering it into something less volatile. In theory.
Underneath everything, the portal hums.
A droning beat that pulses in the same rhythm as his heart. Sometimes, he catches himself staring at it, leaning closer as it calls to him.
It scares him.
“Shit!” his dad shouts, dropping the soldering iron with a loud clang. 
It’s enough to knock Danny out of whatever daydream he’d lost himself in and he whirls around to see his dad sucking on one of his fingers.
They lock eyes, both widening as they realise what’s happened.
“Ah, I mean, suffering spooks! That really hurt…” He shoves his fingers back into his mouth and his shoulders droop as he considers Danny. “Don’t tell your mother.”
Danny laughs.
“Are you alright?”
“It’d take more than that to put Jack Fenton down! All good, Danno, don’t you worry,” he smiles back before shaking his hand out and turning back to whatever he was working on. “Or, I would be, if this hunk of junk was cooperating with me!”
“What’s up?” Danny asks, curiosity getting the better of him.
Normally, he likes to stay out of the lab, as much as he can. 
Obviously, what Phantom does doesn’t count. Phantom can’t help but come into the lab, set ghosts loose into the Zone, trash whatever weapons his parents have got going on, sneak out into the Zone when he can for some much needed R&R. The ectoplasm just hits different there.
“I’m trying to repurpose this toaster, but the ecto won’t run smoothly through the wiring. I think it keeps getting cooked by the element.”
“Oh? Do you need some help?”
Danny doesn’t like spending time in the lab, because if he’s in the lab then he’s either Phantom and he’s trying hard not to be seen or heard, or he’s Danny and he’s being punished.
But his curiosity is piqued.
“Yeah, come here, have a look! Perhaps another Fenton brain can knock some sense into it!”
So, he does.
Hell, anything beats cleaning the lab.
“You’re trying to run it through here?”
Dad nods and shifts in his seat to give Danny a better view.
“But you can’t, because the ecto is tripping the heating element… which is way higher than a toaster has any right to be, wow. No wonder it’s destabilising the ectoplasm, that would destabilise anything.”
Danny pokes around the casing, wiggling the wires back and forth to get a better look at the absolute mess his dad has made of it all. Sometimes it amazes him that his parents' inventions work at all.
“That’s what I’m thinking! But it has to be that high so we can completely break down the ecto!”
“You want it to break down?”
“Yep!” Dad says, clapping him on the back hard enough that he wheezes. He grins down at him when Danny turns around reproachfully. “Think of it, boyo, if we could figure out how to flash fry that ectoplasm high enough so that it evaporates—which it should do, it’s goopy gross liquid, after all!—then you wouldn’t be stuck down here cleaning for so long! We could take it to the streets after a ghost fight and clean up the whole town!”
Well, it’s not a Nobel Prize level invention… Danny’s pretty sure at this point that his parents would be laughed out by the Nobel committee. But, a quicker cleaning of the lab does sound nice.
It would mean he’d be stuck down here a lot less.
Besides… It's interesting.
“What if we…” Danny trails off and pulls the metal frame towards him, grabbing the tweezers as he goes. Vaguely, he’s aware of his dad leaning over his shoulder, the weight of him watching is a comforting presence that he’s not felt in a long while. 
The real trouble is that you need ectoplasm to affect ectoplasm, and that’s not going to work if the object of the game is to evaporate it. 
So what if they don’t introduce the reactive ecto until the end?
He makes quick work of stripping down what his dad’s already done and starts again, this time focussing on keeping the heat contained separately away from the ectoplasm. Just as he’s piecing together a trigger to concurrently shoot a blast of ecto towards the heated tip, Dad exclaims as he realises where he’s going with it.
“Oh! Danny, you’re a genius! Look at that!” Dad laughs and squints closer at what Danny’s doing. “Just wait until your mother sees this, she’s going to be so happy!”
Danny can’t help but grin as he ductapes everything to a piece of toaster casing to give it the first test try. Dad’s enthusiasm is catching as he whoops when the first puddle of ectoplasm burns off in acrid smoke.
They spend another couple of hours perfecting it, welding a case together and branding it with the Fenton F.
It’s not pretty—but then again, when are his parents’ inventions?—a long stick with a cattle-prod-like taser at the end. Instead of electricity, it launches ectoplasm from one rod and superheats the other. When activated, all you need to do is touch the tip to a puddle and poof! It’s gone.
Danny shivers as he watches another pool go up.
But, no! He’s thinking about it wrong. It’s not a cattle-prod, it’s more like one of those sticks you see people using on the highway to jab at the litter on the floor. It’s for cleaning. It’s going to make his lab cleaning chores way easier! It’s—
“Danny, just look at it!”
Danny looks at it, and then back to his father’s face when he can’t bear to see the smoking ecto anymore. It’s painfully happy and Danny does his best to be happy, too.
“Here!” Dad shoves the contraption into Danny’s arms. “You use that and finish what you’re doing and then when you’re done—I can’t believe I’m saying this, galloping ghouls, I’m so happy, I’m working with my boy—we can get to work transferring it over to the Jack o’ Nine Tails! Imagine it, Danny, with one whip and that pesky poltergeist Phantom will be gone!”
Danny freezes.
It feels as if Dad’s just dumped a bucket of ice water over him.
“Poof! Up in smoke!”
The fumes are getting to him. That must be it. His head is swimming and his stomach is churning. There’s a ringing in his ears and it melds with the sharp, stinging whirr of ectoplasm sizzling. It pulses in time with the portal behind him.
He stumbles, almost goes down—almost throws up—but it doesn’t matter. Dad doesn’t see him, already turned away back to the work bench.
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
You know what, it’s okay! It’ll be okay, Danny can sneak back down here later tonight and he can undo it all, it doesn’t matter!
Take a deep breath, now, finish cleaning the lab, ignore Dad—it doesn’t matter—and get this over with. Being here makes his skin crawl, he needs to finish—
“I’m so proud of you, Danny.”
For the second time, Danny stops.
Dad doesn’t say anything else, just sits with his back to him, opening and closing his hand over a screwdriver with the Jack o’ Nine Tails splayed out in front of him.
It takes longer than Danny wants to find his voice, but he manages to croak out, “What?”
“I’m proud of you, Danno. I know this year hasn’t been easy for you, don’t think we haven’t noticed. Your mom and I have been talking about how you're doing at school. We're not blind. We know kids can be cruel, and that Dash Baxter… But we're so proud of you for not rising to it. We love you so much, Danny.”
A lump grows in Danny’s throat and his eyes prickle.
His fingers bleach white where they grip the Fenton Evaporator too tight.
“Look at what you can do when you try, Danny! This is the boy that I know, this is the Danny that I love. I’m so proud of what we’ve done here today. It’ll make the world a better place, just you wait! Now, come on, boyo, pass me that soldering iron and let’s really get stuck in!”
And… And Danny does.
With shaky limbs and tears threatening to spill, Danny reaches over and passes Dad the soldering iron, watching as he gets to work, and when his dad asks him to get his hands dirty—“Here, run this wire up the rope, there’s a good boy!”—he does.
Danny does it all and he does it well.
He sucks in a deep breath, swipes a hand over his eyes, and he helps his dad.
He laughs when Dad tells his stupid jokes:
“Quick! What’s red, white, and blue all over?”
“I don’t know, Dad, what’s red, white, and blue all over?”
“A ghost that we’ve beaten into oblivion!”
And he hopes that his mom is going to be just as proud as Dad says she will be when she sees what they’ve done.
It’s easy, really.
If he doesn’t think about it, if he tucks his mind away and just lets his hands get on with it, then he’s just helping his dad and he can do that. He can do it.
He can do it.
So, no, he doesn’t sabotage what they’ve built. He doesn’t add in a failsafe. He doesn’t loosen a few screws, or overload the element, or untwist a few wires.
Danny does his best and at the end of the day his dad holds up the new and improved Jack o’ Nine Tails and absolutely beams at him. A work of art, he calls it.
Danny doesn’t sabotage it then and he won’t sabotage it later, because it’s a work of art. This is what he and his dad built. Together.
Danny can’t help but grin back, happiness curling in his belly even as it gives a sickening lurch.
He doesn’t eat dinner that night, he can’t.
He stays downstairs long enough to present the new weapon to Mom—very pointedly ignoring Jazz’s look—and then he heads upstairs. There’s an English essay he needs to get started on, after all.
He doesn’t miss the look Mom and Dad share, the fond tenderness, the love, the hope, all directed at him.
He’s happy.
They’re happy.
They’re proud of him.
And despite it all, he had fun today! 
When he lays down on his bed, he smiles and he can’t stop the laughter bubbling up as he thinks about his dad. At one point, he had been holding up a circular piece of metal he’d cannibalised from the lamp shade to his eyes, moving it back and forth as he pulled his funny faces, and some of that full belly laugh creeps back in as he remembers doing the same back.
He laughs so hard until he cries, and he cries, and he cries. 
Today, he and his dad built a weapon. 
Tomorrow, it'll be used on him, but that's okay. 
It's okay because today, today his dad was proud.
529 notes · View notes
justmeinadaze · 3 months
Note
I was rereading your aftercare series and I thought about if reader and her bf had like really bad sex, maybe like in his car or something, and she doesn't even cum, and then he drops her off at home where Steve and Eddie help her get off and then take the best care of her 💙
Ok so I have a couple of requests in waiting I may use this version of them for. I think it will help focus my brain and since a lot of your requests are like this I think I can fit it into this AU and get them out faster :)
I hope you like!
Why Can't I Be in a Meg Ryan Movie? (Or Even a Good Porno)
Tumblr media
Warnings: Actor Steve Harrington/ Rockstar & Actor Eddie Munson and Actress Fem Reader, SMUT, in the shower :), some heavy petting on set, dirty talk, reader and her boyfriend have sex and she does not have a good time (quick and brief), FLUFF, these three are filming a movie together and since they are supposed to be friends they BECAME friends behind the scenes, ANGST, reader is unhappily in a relationship, he's a dick sabotaging scenes and talking down to her, they are filming an 80s Slasher movie together so their are times those scenes are conveyed (mentions of death, blood, needing to feel safe, etc.) Those scenes are brief.
Word Count: 4897
The metalhead swings open his front door, gun drawn as you squeak and hide behind your gorgeous, captain of the football team best friend. 
“Whoa! It’s us, James, it’s us.”
“Jesus, Carter. What the fuck happened?!”, the long-hair boy asks as he gestures you two inside and locks the door. 
“Cindy’s fucking dead.”, the jock answered with a gruff tone as he guided you towards the sink and began washing the blood from your hands as you sobbed. 
“Shit. Nina, I’m so sorry.”
“I-I-It’s ok.”
The man’s palms grip your cheeks as he wipes your tears with his thumbs. 
“It’s not. We can make it through this. I know we can. We just need to figure out who this fucker is so we can kill him ourselves.”
“Agreed but we aren’t doing that tonight. James, is it alright if we stay here with you?”
“Dude, yeah, of course. Sweetheart, you can take the bed and we can—”
“No!”, you cry out. “Please…I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course, there’s only one fucking bed.”
Everyone in the room groans as you frustratingly lay your forehead against the tattooed arm you had reached out to grab. 
“Cut! Ryan, we’ve talked about this. You can’t interrupt a scene.”
“Aren’t you shooting in the studio next door?”, Steve growled in annoyance as he threw the prosthetic bat he was holding on to the counter. 
“Maybe they got tired of him to.”, Eddie whispered loud enough that your boyfriend could hear. 
When you received the script from your agent to be in a typical 80’s slasher, you immediately turned him down for fear of being type cast like some of the other actresses you read about who starred in the genre but when he mentioned you’d be working with not only the massive heartthrob and brilliant actor Steve Harrington but also the rockstar of one of your favorite bands Corroded Coffin, you changed your tune. 
 When you told your boyfriend however he was less than amused. Honestly, you thought it was more his anger that you were getting a high paying job than who you were working with. Ryan’s own career was starting to stall as the ratings for his current show were in decline. You noticed he had begun taking that out on you in subtle ways like demeaning you at a party or, like right now, sabotaging a scene. 
“Fuck you, Munson. I’m a respected actor! You’ve been in what one other movie?”
“Well shit. He got me, Harrington. What the fuck would I know about being an actor? Please Ryan can you teach me how to get on your level? Teach me how to be an asshole just like you!”
“OK! Jesus.”, the director whined. “Can we reset and do this with no interruptions please?!”
Both men turn and you follow Steve to the other side of the door. 
“I’m so sorry, you guys. He’s not always like this.”
“Hm. You need to be careful with that one, honey. I know he’s your boyfriend and all but I don’t want him to ruin all the hard work you’ve done here.”
“Steve, this is a slasher film about a killer who wears a suit and clown mask killing high school seniors. It’s not Citizen Kane.”, you giggle making them smile. 
“Yeah but picture people dressing up like you like they do with Jamie Lee Curtis or that hot chick whose show was big when we were school. What was it, Steve?”
“I have no idea.”, he chuckles. 
“With the hair and the black dress that…” Eddie mimed pushing his chest together as if he had boobs making you laugh harder. 
“Elvira?”
“YEAH! Good job, princess. Thank you. Imagine people dressing like you in that sexy ass tank top and jeans that hug them hips.”
You grinned as you lightly punched his arm. Since Steve was playing your best friend, after you were cast you reached out to him and invited him to lunch hoping to get to know him better. When he told you Eddie was hisbest friend, you insisted he bring him along and over the last few months had gotten to know both men fairly well. You loved their attitudes and the way they made you laugh. You felt safe with them which in a media dominated by men you appreciated. 
***
“How was your date last night?”, you ask Steve while the three of were laying in the bed on set. 
You were a bit nervous because this was supposed to be your big kiss scene with him so you were trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. 
“Pfft terrible. She whined the entire time about my restaurant choice and was rude to the staff.”, he sighed as Eddie giggled behind you. 
“I tooooold you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Munson.”
“See we never had that problem when we shared girls.”
“Whoa! Excuse me. You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”, you laughed with wide eyes. 
“Ok, first off, it did happen a few times which is why we aren’t currently in a relationship. Secondly… Eddie and I…may have shared a partner a time or two.”
“Wow. Do you two, um,…”
“No, we don’t ‘um’ but yeah we like the way a woman unfolds when we take care of her.”, the metalhead smiles making you blush a bit. “Have you ever tried it?”
“Oh, uh, no. I’m not really…adventurous like that I guess.”
“Captain asshole doesn’t blow your mind?”
Your smile widens as you punch his chest.
“Not…no. I don’t know. Ryan tries but lately he seems so distracted.”
“Hm. That’s a shame. Beautiful girl like you should have all the attention on her.” Steve throws a soft grin your way, deepening the pink around your cheeks. 
You’re suddenly very aware you are in a long heavy metal shirt with underwear and no pants while both men are in sweatpants with Steve shirtless. 
“Ok, gang, get comfy. We’re going to do some lighting tests real quick to make sure we’re still good and then we’ll start rolling.”
Nodding, you three get in your places that were discussed in rehearsal. As Eddie wraps his arm around your waist and you do the same across Steve’s tummy, you feel very thankful your boyfriend wasn’t there today. After lifting his arm, you rest your head on his chest as he casually starts playing with your hair. 
“I’m not fucking anything up am I?”, he asks in a deep, husky voice you weren’t prepared for. 
“Oh, uh, no I think…I think you’re fine.” 
“You can put your hand on my chest if you want.”
Blinking up at him, you do what he suggests and a sigh leaves his lips at the feeling. 
“Ok, we are good to go. Everyone is sleeping except you Carter. Nina wakes up, you say your lines, kiss, and then you hear a noise that startles you.”
Your eyes shut as you nuzzle into him as he continues to move his fingers through your hair. 
“Alright, I need quiet on set and action!”
Your head stirs at the feeling of fingers caressing you as your eyes flutter open.
“Carter?”
“Yeah, hey, I’m right here.”
“Have you gotten any sleep?”
“No but I’m ok. James is past the fuck out though.” You both laugh as you glance behind you towards the sleeping metalhead. “He rolled over a while ago and wrapped his arms around you. I guess he thinks you’re a teddy bear or something. You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”
“James IS very pretty.”
His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 
“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but…not as beautiful as you.”
Your eyes scan his as you both slowly tilt forward. When his lips land on yours, your body lights up as your palm lightly grips his cheek. His kisses come a bit more passionately as his own hand grips the back of your neck. As his tongue slides into your mouth, you groan as your mind is suddenly clouded with fuzzy feelings of your best friend. 
Is it just you or can you feel your other friend pressing himself against you. Isn’t he asleep? Maybe I could turn and—
“CUT! Guys! Listen!”, the director yells. “I said cut like five times! Y/N, Steve, remember in rehearsal we said it was a soft, delicate kiss.”
“Sorry.”, the actor whispers before turning towards you. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.” You glance towards Eddie whose eyes are squeezed shut still but he’s murmuring things to himself. 
“Cold showers, cold showers, Wayne naked, fucking Jeff puking after too many booze…”
“Are you alright?”, you ask.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m, um, I’m ok. I’m sorry if you, um, we can…I’m sure the intimacy lady can put like a pillow or something…”, he suggests as his gaze shifts between his legs under the blanket. “Y/N, I don’t think you’re supposed to moan when you kiss him.”
“Huh?”
“You moaned when you were kissing me.”, Steve answered breathily as he continued staring into the void with wide eyes. 
“That’s why I’m…I have a… you have really sexy moans, sweetheart.”
“And you taste really fucking good.”
Your eyes lock with Steve’s at his comment as a heavy exhale escaped your lungs. 
“Alright, gang, reset!”
Laying back in your original positions, you realize Eddie’s is a bit farther from you than he was before. Biting your bottom lip, you turn your head as much as you can towards him. 
“Ed, you can…you can scoot closer.”
“Y/N, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not.” To emphasis your point, you push your lower half into his and a subtle groan leaves his throat. Holding your hips, he grinds against you making your eye lids droop as your rub your thighs together and lift your leg over the other man’s waist, just grazing the growing bulge in the sweats they had them in. 
“Ok! We’re ready to go. Take two and we’re rolling…action!”
You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”
“James IS very pretty.”
His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 
“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but not as beautiful as you.”
The boy’s lips feverishly crash to yours as he twists his torso to give himself better access to your
 mouth. 
“Carter.”, you moan.
“Y/N.”, he answers in your ear that’s furthest from the mic.
Your eyes shoot open as you realize what’s happening and no one is in character anymore. Pushing at his chest, he sees the slight regret in your eyes as he tries to regain his composure. 
“I think I heard something.”, you point absently off camera. Throwing off the blanket, he grabs his weapon before you quickly grab his arm. “Be careful…please. I-I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
His eyes soften as he leans in and give you a small peck on the lips. 
“Don’t worry, honey. I’ll be ok. I promise.”
############
“Geez.”, Ryan laughed as you tore at his pants in the back seat of his car. “What’s got you all hot and bothered?”
“I just…missed you.”
Your boyfriend’s grin grows as he takes hold of your lower back and flips you around till he’s on top of you yanking down your pants. As he kisses your neck and rubs his cock along the cotton blocking your core, your mind begins to wonder. 
Steve’s lips tasted amazing. I wonder what Eddie tastes like. Feeling them groan in my ear…fucking hell…
As Ryan’s length entered your sex, you suddenly felt underwhelmed.
They both felt so big even through their pants. I wonder what they would feel like inside of me…together…moaning like they had…
“Fuck, babe.” His body shook as he thrust his seed inside of you a bit too aggressively as you laid there unsatisfied. “God that was… did you…?”
Nodding your head, he beamed down at you as he kissed your forehead before reaching for a napkin on the floor of his car. When he handed it to you, you held it without moving as a disgusted look painted your face. 
“I have to get back to work.  You should go home and take a shower. You smell like sweat and that asshole rocker’s cigarettes.”
With that, he exited his vehicle and walked back inside. 
Shaking your head, you ambled over to your own car and reached into your glove compartment for some of the tissues you stored there. You sat in the driver’s seat for a while staring off into space feeling slightly dirty and used. 
You may have initiated the contact but lately Ryan hadn’t been satisfying you and the way he was after didn’t make you feel any better. 
Abruptly, you slammed your door and started the engine, driving off into what you thought was no particular direction. 
#############
“Hi, um, I’m sorry. I must be at the wrong—”
“Are you looking for Steven?”, the girl interrupted sassily. “Yeah you’re in the right place but don’t expect anything from either of these assholes.”
“Carol, why are you answering my door? I told you, please, get out.”
Steve’s eyes met yours as fear flashed through them. 
“All yours, babe.”
As she stomped past you, the boy took her place in the doorway of the apartment. 
“I’m sorry. I should just go.”
“No! Wait, no!”, he yelled panicked as he reached for your arm. “Please, come in. She was just…that’s the girl I had my date with who was rude, remember? She came over because…I didn’t call her? I don’t know.”, he shrugs. 
Stepping into their shared space, you were surprised by how modest it was. With how much money they made together, you would have expected them in a penthouse or a mansion. 
“Is the pterodactyl gone?”, Eddie asks as he exits his room pausing when he sees you. “Shit. Hey, Y/N. Are you alright? You look frazzled.”
“Why pterodactyl?”, you ask with a small smirk as you feel both their eyes intensely scanning you over. 
“She, uh, came in here like a bat out of hell screeching. Raaaaaaaw!”, he mimics as he spreads his arms like wings, smiling when you laugh. “See? I’m an actor.”
“What’s going on, honey? I thought you were spending some time with Ryan.”, Steve inquires as he leans over the back of their couch. 
“I was! I did… we, um, spent some time together… in his backseat…”
“And then he just sent you home?”
“Yeah, well, not right away. First he came in like 3 seconds and I learned that my boyfriend who I’ve been sleeping with for 4 months has no idea what a woman orgasming feels like because he asked me if I did and when I told him yes he got super excited. Then he proceeded to hand me a dirty napkin from his floor to clean myself with and then promptly told me I should go home and shower because I smell gross like sweat and your cigarettes Eddie.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised he even fucking noticed because I was barely even present during the whole experience because I was too busy imagining you two and what you would feel like inside me! Now I feel like a whore, used, and disgusting and I didn’t know where else to go so I just started driving and somehow ended up here and—”
Steve pulling you into his arms and pressing your face into his chest cut you off as you cried.
“Hey, Munson, is your shower actually clean?”
“I’m always on tour, Harrington, so what do you think?”
“No then?” Both boys smile when you giggle against him. “That’s ok. We can use mine. Come on, pretty girl.”
Eddie trails after you both as Steve guides you into his room and towards the bathroom. Opening the door to his standing shower, you marvel at how big it actually is. 
“Wow. This is very nice.”
“Thank you.”, he smiles as he sticks his palm under the water to make sure it its warm. As the steam starts to rise, he gestures inside. “All for you, honey.”
“Just me?”, you whisper as your gaze shifts between them. 
“What would make you comfortable, Y/N?”, Eddie asks as he steps closer to your side. 
Swallowing nervously, you close your eyes as you lift off your shirt and toss it to the side before unbuttoning your jeans to do the same. 
A tap on your shoulder causes you to open them again meeting the metalhead’s chocolate irises as he tries not to glance down your body. 
“You have to say it, sweetheart. If you don’t want this or anything at all that’s absolutely fine. If you want us to even just sit out here while you’re in there or just to stand in there with you…”
“Or if you want us to do some of those things you were imagining us doing when you were with Ryan…you have to say it.”, Steve adds.
Nodding silently, you remove your bra and slide down your panties, their gazes never leaving your face. 
“I want you two to shower with me and take care of me.”
Softly smiling, the remove their clothes and you provide them the same courtesy they did you, keeping your eyes forward. After guiding you in first, they follow behind and you let out a deep sigh as the water hits your hair. 
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I know I’ve always jokingly flirted with you but I do think you are gorgeous.”, Eddie admits making you smile as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“Can I kiss you?”
As soon as you get permission your lips connect to his, reveling in the taste of cigarettes that Ryan seemed to have so much disdain for mixed with mint and a hint of alcohol. While his fingers tangled in your hair to pull you closer, Steve’s hands behind you roamed everywhere, down your arms, along your stomach, and up to your breasts. 
The metalhead tenderly kissed your jawline, trailing the valley of your chest. Almost as if offering him a taste, the boy behind you cupped the bottom of you breast as Eddie wrapped his lips around the bud eliciting a soft moan from you. 
“Eddie.”
“Does that feel good, honey?”, Steve murmured in your ear as you leaned your head against his shoulder. 
“Yes. S-So good.”
Descending to his knees, Eddie turned you to face the other man, opening your legs a bit wider and you mewled when his long tongue flicked your entrance. 
“How do you feel now, Y/N?”
“Fuck.” Your response makes Steve chuckle as he grabs your cheeks and brings your lips to his. “Can I…touch you…please…”, you ask between each kiss. 
“Baby, you can touch us as much as you want as long as you’re comfortable.”
As soon as your small hand takes hold of his cock he groans as his forehead falls on yours, panting against your mouth as you stroke him. 
“Shit. We’ve been thinking about you all afternoon. How you would feel and what you would sound like.”
Your head leans against his chest as Eddie’s tongue moves faster inside of you. Abruptly your knees buckle but the metalhead is faster than his friend as he catches you and leans your back against his chest. Looping his arm around your front, he thrusts his two of his fingers into your cunt while you cling to his wrist. 
“That good, baby girl? Good, you deserve it. You’re not a whore, sweetheart, and you’re definitely not disgusting. Cum for me, Y/N.” Turning your head, you passionately kiss him as you come undone. “Fuck, your pussy is so tight when you cum. Are you kidding me?”
“M-More. I want more. Please.”
Steve lifts you up just enough to place your back on the tile as he climbs on top of you and you promptly circle your legs around his waist. 
“This ok? The tile isn’t cold, right?” Shaking your head, you lean up to kiss him, grinding your lower half against his desperately. “Are you… on—fuck—can I cum inside you?”
“Please.”
He licks his lips at the word as his cock twitches against you. Reaching between your bodies, he grips his base and as you tilt up to look you moan at how big he seems even in his own large hand. 
“Go slow at first. I’ve…I’ve never had someone as big as you two.”
“Shit, honey, you can’t say stuff like that.”, Steve breathily laughs as his head hangs, his damp hair tickling your face a bit. “Okay…okay, I can do that.”
Feeling extra warmth by your side, you turn to see Eddie laying on his side as he flashes you a soft smile. Biting his own lip, he watches as your face contorts and your back arches as the boy on top of you starts pushing into your core. 
“It’s ok, princess. You’re ok.”
Steve’s head fell next to your opposite side and your pussy couldn’t help but clench at the sound of his whimpers in your ear. His hand suddenly smacks the floor beside you as his arm bent at the elbow. The action startled you but made his friend laugh. 
“That hard, Harrington?” Your eyes meet his in confusion as he beamed down at you. “He’s trying to control himself from not just pounding into you. Your little pussy is driving him crazy.”
This confused you even more since every man you had been with never had the reaction Steve was having now. Even Ryan made it seem like you and your body were nothing special. 
“Hey, hey come back, Y/N.”, Eddie cooed as he caressed your cheek with his finger. 
That caused Steve to push up on his arms to look down at your face. 
“Are you ok? I’m not h-hurting you or anything right?”
“No, you’re not. No one…no one has ever…made me feel like…BEING with me is anything special.”
They knew what you meant and it broke their hearts as the man inside you kissed your forehead before placing his head back where it had been by your ear. 
“I’m sorry, baby. You deserve so much better then that. Your pussy should be worshipped. Fuck me. I swear, Y/N, I’ve never had anyone as tight as you. I could fucking live inside you. God… I knew it when you kissed me. You’re definitely fucking special.”
When he was fully sheathed inside you, your hands clung to his shoulders while he waited patiently for you to tell him he could move. 
Your hips tested the waters as you rolled them upwards making you both moan as your eyes rolled back. 
“P-Please, Steve.” Tilting up a bit, he placed his nose against yours as he slowly thrust into your body. “Fuck, I can feel you in my stomach.”
His mouth fell open as his pants warmed your face even more than the shower steam around you. As your nails scratched down his back, his pace quickened, hitting that spongy spot inside of you repeatedly as you whimpered at the feeling. 
“Steve. Harder, baby.”
Pushing up onto his knees, the man gripped your thighs for leverage as he honored your request. 
“Like that, Y/N? Is he about to make you cum?”, Eddie murmured in your ear as his palm held your face.  “Cum, Y/N. Let him feel what I did. Trust us, sweetheart, we know exactly what a beautiful woman coming feels like.”
Arching your back high off the tile beneath you, your vision was blinded by white as you came.
“Jesus.”, Steve growled through gritted teeth as he chased his own release.
Your lips mingled with Eddie’s as the other man leaned forward to massage your tits in his large palms before hearing him grunt above you as pumped his spend into your cunt. 
After carefully pulling out of you, both men trailed kisses to your neck, tenderly sucking and nibbling at your sweet spots as your body continued to tingle with need. 
“Eddie…please…”
“You don’t have to take me tonight, princess. Tonight is about you.”
“I want you.”
“Fuck me. Say that again.”
“I want you, Eddie. I need you.”
Once Steve was out of the way, the metalhead guided you around until your back was to his chest again with you both laying on your sides. On impulse, you lifted your leg and without missing a beat, he held it in place with his palm firmly gripping your thigh. 
Grinding his hips, his cock ran along your pussy lips as you moaned. 
“I’ll go slow too at first, ok?”
After you nod, he releases his hold on you only long enough to maneuver his length into your heat. 
“Oh my god.”, you whine as your head falls into the nook of his other arm. 
“I know. I know, baby. You’re—mmm—you’re doing so well. Tight little pussy is stretching out perfectly for me. Fuck.”
“Fuck me, Eddie. I-I can take it.”
Smiling, his fingers grabbed your jaw, turning you to face him so his forehead could lean on yours. 
“You can take it? Are you sure?” As if to test you, he slammed his waist hard into yours hitting your now overly sensitive and abused g-spot making you whimper against his lips. 
“Yeeees, baby, just like that.”
“You want it hard like that, sweetheart? Fuck, you are so fucking beautiful like this.”
While Steve did talk a bit while he was inside you, Eddie couldn’t seem to stop, whispering praises and compliments against your skin as he thrust into you. You definitely didn’t mind, wishing you could focus on anything but the pleasure to do the same. 
“Stay with me, pretty girl. I need to feel you cum again and squeeze my dick.”
“Eddie…I…feels…good…”
Grinning again, he tenderly kissed your lips. 
“Are you trying t-to praise me? Aw, poor baby can’t focus on words?” When you whined and nodded, his smiled grew. “Good. It’s ok, Y/N. Just focus on my cock right now. I want you to cum for me.”
Picking up his pace, you circle your arm behind you around his neck clinging to his hair till you felt your body tremble as the coil in your stomach snapped. 
“God damnit! Atta girl. Feels so fucking good.”
While your pussy quivered around him, he pumped into you till you felt him warm your insides as you milked him dry. 
After pulling out, the three of you laid on the floor of the shower on your back trying to catch your breathes. 
“I can’t tell if I’m steamy or sweaty.”
You smirked as they both laughed at your statement. 
“Either way, you smell good. Hang on.” Closing your eyes, you listened to Steve move around before jumping when you feel a washcloth between your legs. “Sorry! Sorry. I should have warned you. I’m just cleaning you.”
“I hope its ok it’s not a dirty napkin.”, Eddie sassed making you giggle as you reach over to lightly punch his arm. “You deserve better than him, Y/N.”
“You really ARE special. I hope you know that.”, Steve added. “And not just your body.”
You don’t say anything as they turn off the water and lead you back to the bedroom to dry you.
“Do you want your clothes or I can give you one of my shirts. According to Ryan, your stuff smells like smoke so I don’t see what difference a new shirt would make.”
“Oh. Um…I can just…wear my clothes…”, you pout as you hang your head. 
As your about to turn to take the garments from Eddie’s hands, the other boy grabs your wrist as he takes a seat on his bed. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“No, hey, no. Not nothing. What’s running through your mind?”
Unlike with your boyfriend, when your eyes shift between theirs you don’t see annoyance but empathy. They genuinely want to make sure you’re alright. 
“Do you want me to go?”
You question surprises them as they exchange a glance. 
“No. God no.”, the metalhead answers as he sits on the bed as well. “Y/N, we just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If you want to go you’re more than welcome but we’d rather you stay.”
“We don’t want you to feel how you felt when you came in here.”, Steve adds. 
“I don’t feel like that. I wouldn’t feel like that if I left right now either.” They softly smile your way as they nod. “I don’t want to leave though. Not yet.”
“Aaaaare you hungry? We were going to order some food before Harrington’s ex-girlfriend flew in wreaking havoc.”
“Oh my god. Ok, we went on ONE date! One!”
“Can we get food from the restaurant you took her to. I really want to see if your restaurant choices do suck.”, you giggle as he rolls his eyes. 
“I hate you both.”, Steve teases as he gets up and heads for the phone.
Eddie helps you into one of his shirts and his friend’s shorts he found nearby. 
“Comfy? Good. See, princess, you’re adventurous.”, he winks as he grabs your palm in his before looking down at how they fit together. “Did you like it? Being with two people?”
With your free hand, you tilt his chin and kiss his lips. 
“I liked being with you two.”
Steddie Asks
304 notes · View notes
empress-simps · 2 months
Text
A Gryffindor's Grief
Pairing: James Potter x Fem! Slytherin! Reader
CW: Reader's family and language
Genre: Angst
Masterlist
Note: My first ever marauders fic! Kinda nervous to post this ngl… I'm still thinking if I should make a second part. I want to hear what you guys think about this! Requests are open! Photos used are from Pinterest! Credits to the owner!
Tumblr media
It was forbidden love, really.
Those little moments of not-so-accidental touches, stealing glances, and discreet smiles sent each other's way were your means of communicating with each other.
James Fleamont Potter, a Gryffindor boy that was absolutely smitten with You; Slytherin's Princess.
An odd combination that would only lead to chaos.
Being one of the sacred twenty-eight wizarding families meant that you command power and respect from everyone you meet— intentionally or unintentionally. The idea about blood purity, power, and influence was already in your mind as soon as you were able to grasp things your toddler brain could handle.
You were taught to only mingle with pure-blood families, people who could be useful and loyal to you, and those with power, influence, and wealth. Your family’s distaste for muggles and muggleborns were also ingrained into your mind, as if they programmed you to believe what they believed in. It wasn’t that hard, after all you were surrounded by rich witches and wizards who are blood supremacists.
For someone who grew up with those ideals and values, you thought it was right. Although, your belief came tumbling down the longer you spend time at Hogwarts and got to know James Potter and the rest of the Marauders.
James, he made you feel alive.
It felt as if he was the breath of fresh air that you never knew you needed. Away from that suffocating Malfoy Manor, the scrutinizing gazes of your family, and away from rich pure blood problems. Being with him felt exhilarating, he was the buzz in your life. James brought so much joy into your dark, lavish, and empty lifestyle.
It was quite funny, picturing him as your knight in shining armor, whisking you away from your pretty, gold cage.
"Malfoy!" Evan Rosier, a pure-blooded Slytherin raised his hand in your direction, motioning you to come over and sit beside him during breakfast in the great hall. Cold eyes like Lucius Malfoy's travelled in his direction, a questioning brow raised.
"Rosier, you are being too loud." She commented, walking, and sitting next to him before greeting the person beside him, Regulus Black.
"Good morning, Regulus."
"Good morning, Y/n."
Barty Crouch Jr. looked up from his meal and snickered at the both of you. "Good morning, Mum and Dad." He teased, greeting you both as Evan laughed along with the other Slytherins near them. Heck even Severus has a small smirk planted on his face. "If you wish to make your family line extinct, then please feel free to continue with your remarks, Crouch."
He smirked, putting his hands up in mock surrender "Just kidding, Y/n. Geez. Rough summer, I suppose?"
You felt your lips press into a thin line, an obvious answer to the question; It was horrendous.
Evan’s laughter slowly dies, he shakes his head, “Give her a break mate, she just got the biggest news of her life during summer. Isn’t that right Y/n-“
“Shut your mouth Rosier if you do not want to be hexed into next month.” Her empty threat really doesn’t do damage to Evan, he just shrugged, taking it as a warning that you’re not in the mood for jokes.
Your father, Abraxas Malfoy and older brother, Lucius Malfoy made a huge decision for your future. Hearing rumors here and there about their Slytherin Princess being romantically involved with a blood traitor in Gryffindor enraged your father, Abraxas. That will certainly not do, they will not sit idly and watch as the Malfoy name be... tainted with those rumors.
You remember how you felt dread entering your system, fighting the urge to run and throw up as you mustered up a façade, “Those are just baseless rumors, a plot to ruin my image in school." You held your head high, praying they do not see the truth.
Abraxas stared at you, his daughter, with a monotone expression. "Your brother and I do not care whether those ridiculous rumors are true or not." Lucius nods, agreeing. What a lie. You know your family well enough to not believe what comes out of their mouths in situations like this.
"We do not care if you had relations with the boy, even though it is rumored that he is a blood traitor, you knew well enough not to fool around with mudbloods. Well done, Y/n. Perhaps you could change his views, get him to join our cause.” Lucius looked at you. You could press your lips into a thin line, trying to find an answer.
 “That tactless boy's role is to only be a bed warmer for you, remember that Y/n." Your father stood from the chair he sat in the drawing room. Slowly walking towards you. “Although, I suppose it ends now. I heard Lady Walburga Black is looking for a potential bride to their heir, Regulus Black.”
After a week, it was official; You are to be wedded to Regulus Black, your friend, Sirius’ brother.
You could not do anything about the arrangement, what fight would you have put up? A young girl like you, who does not have any power, influence, and wealth could only suck it up and accept.
How you wish it was James you were betrothed to.
“James, you came.” You breathed out, seeing him take off the invisibility cloak. The moonlight in the astronomy tower complimented his features, he offered a small smile sitting beside you.
The stakes were high, you were sure underlings of your brother (and possibly father) in the school have their eyes trained to you as you enter another year in Hogwarts. You would need to find new ways to meet up with your lover. Regulus’ eyes discreetly looked towards James, who is undeniably looking at you.
“Wouldn’t want for my girl to be alone, you know?”
He joked, intertwining his finger with you, a second nature to the both of you. Squeezing his hand, you softly looked at him. “I missed you, pothead.” He leaned towards your face, kissing you on the forehead. One of the things he does that never fails to make you feel flustered. “I missed you too, love.” You rolled her eyes, slightly shoving him playfully, “Stop being sappy, Pothead.”
“You secretly like it, love. You can’t lie to me.” He grinned, although the last sentence made you tense up. James shot you a concerned look, noticing your body language. “Something wrong, love?” You were torn, deciding on whether you tell him about the engagement rather than keeping quiet and leaving him in the dark about your current situation.
“I got engaged.” Before you could even stop yourself, the words flew out of your mouth. Shit. It wasn’t how she planned to tell him. The light atmosphere suddenly became dark and heavy. You can feel James turn rigid, freezing up as he muttered. “So, it was true, huh?” He scoffed bitterly, hurt overtaking his features. “James…” You gently called, carefully placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, turning his body away from you.
She tried to ignore the hurt she felt, pushing it down as she understood why James was acting this way.  “Sirius told me.” He choked out, still not looking at you. James really does know you well, answering the question you haven’t even voiced out yet. The slight tremble in his voice made your heart crack. You bit your lip, of course Sirius found out; he was still a Black after all.
“I love you, James. I really do.”
You spoke to him, you raised your hand, about to put a hand on his back that was still facing you but deciding against it before it touched him. Your hands faltering before dropping down to your sides. He shakes his head violently, his curly locks getting messier than they already were.
“Don’t… Don’t say it like that, love.” He pleaded, slowly turning to face you again, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Don’t say it like you’re about to leave me. This. Us.” He croaked; you felt his large hands placed on top of yours. He brought it up to his lips, kissing the knuckles.
“James…” You managed to utter out, voice getting caught at the throat.
James knew he was acting like a child, but damn- he never thought it could hurt this much. He pictured both of you marrying each other, living in a large house with a big backyard because he insisted it will be great for when you have kids. Merlin, he even imagined about 3 or 4 kids looking like the perfect mix of you both, running out and about with their names already carefully thought out.
out. He daydreamed that the both of you grow old, watching you tell stories to your grandkids about their grandfather’s mischief during your years at Hogwarts.
“I have to, James.” She chokes out, tears spilling onto her cheeks. Those four little words made James’ little bubble of happiness burst with just a bat of an eye.
“Don’t… don’t do this to me, love.” He pleaded; he even went down onto his knees as he saw you standing up from your place beside him. Poor James, luckily it was only you, the moon, and the walls of the Astronomy Tower watched him become a wreck.
“I love you, please remember that you will always have my heart, James. I wish you find happiness.” The part ‘without me’ was unsaid but was heard. It took a lot of courage, strength, and self-control not to fall apart. Deep down, you wanted James to say the same to you, proclaiming his love again for the last time you’ll be together.
“I love you Y/n, so much. No one will ever make me feel the way you did. I’ll find a way; a way for us to be happy together. I swear on my life.” He promised, looking at you straight in the eye. You could only close your eyes before smiling at him, trying to blink the tears away. Stars, you hoped James really does find a way.
“Goodbye, Potter.” She turns, walking away.
Maybe Slytherins and Gryffindors really aren’t meant to be together.
255 notes · View notes
jamespottersdaisy · 1 year
Text
It's nice to have a friend.
Remus Lupin x fem!reader
"No one loves a monster like me."
"I do."
warnings- cursing, the prank (with major changes), angst (?), my writing
13k
author's note:- i wrote this listening to taylor and lana. english is not my first language, so beware <3
Tumblr media
"What time do you call this?"
You bit down your lips at Remus's flat tone. He looked up from his book with an expression you couldn't figure to be irritated or nonchalant.
"I'm so sorry, Remus. I got carried away with astrology," you said as you attempted to sit beside him. He quickly put his books on your seat with a loud thud. Fortunately for him, the library was empty.
"Then go and play with your stars."
"What?" you asked, a bit confused. "Aren't we supposed to study together?"
"We were. But you're late," he said, shaking his head.
"I'm only twenty minutes late," you furrowed your brows at his uncharacteristic rudeness.
He was staring at you as you glared back.
"You damaged your brain while studying Transfiguration without me, didn't you?"
You arched a brow uncomfortably, getting ready to talk again, but Remus's face softened and changed into amusement. The next thing you heard was his light laughter.
"Hilarious, prick."
"I'm a funny bloke," he chuckled as he lifted the books to grant you a seat, which you took.
"You're not really, James and Sirius are way funnier."
"Weren't you the one throwing a tantrum over their prank yesterday? You certainly weren't laughing."
"They died my hair to green! And don't act like you had no part in it."
"I only told them green is your favourite colour. Was I wrong?"
You blankly ogled his smirk.
"Green suits you."
"You know what suits you, Remus? Purple. Should I do something about it?"
To your irritation, his smirk widened. You turned your hand into a fist. "Which eye is your favourite?"
"I only have two."
"That's not an answer."
"Is there supposed to be an answer? The two are the same."
"Well then," you threw your fist at his eye, Remus raising his arm to protect himself.
"Did Sirius bribe you to hit me?"
"No, but he did offer me some galleons in exchange for your chocolate this morning."
"That was you?!"
This time it's your turn to smirk.
"Time is of the essence, Remus, we have to study." you opened a book before you, waving off Remus as he grumbled something under his breath.
You started to study together, helping each other occasionally.
It was a habit now; you two would study together every week for at least four evenings.
Remus was frustrated today; you could tell from his bouncing leg and twitching lips. But you didn't point it out; you knew he felt uncomfortable when someone coddled him. It was one of the perks of being best friends for five years.
From the first year of Hogwarts to the sixth year, you learned almost everything about Remus by heart. How he scratched the hairs on the back of his neck when deep in thought, or how he never looked up from his book while reading, even if his friends were trying to converse with him.
In return, he knew exactly what to tell you when you were overwhelmed by the studies or how to make you laugh when you were feeling like crying.
You two had always been there for each other, listening, understanding, and supporting one another through everything. You had stayed in the hospital wing all night for Remus when he broke his arm in the third year, and he had been there for you when you were burning with a fever two years ago.
There were too many incidents like these which you and Remus shared that proved the special bond between you. James, Sirius and Peter were also your friends, but with Remus, it was different; unique.
He had made you feel appreciated and loved, never let you down or never let anyone look down on you. Sometimes James and Sirius would mock you two for this affection, but that would always earn them a smack on the head from Remus.
You knew everything about him, and he knew everything about you.
Well, almost everything.
He didn't know that your affection for him was something more; It had been for quite some time now.
At first, you thought it was an innocent crush because of teenage hormones or something, and it would fade away with time.
But it didn't. You grew out of 'I fancy Remus Lupin' to 'I love Remus Lupin'. Of course, you never confided in anyone about your burning infatuation, keeping it secret, burying it deep inside your heart.
The same secret that was fighting to break free from your heart's walls every time Remus smiled at you.
The same secret that was clawing from its grave to get up and fly, bleeding your heart every time Remus embraced you and called you a friend.
The same secret that prickled your eyes with tears every time you remembered that you weren't the only one keeping secrets.
He was keeping something from you, too.
You had always felt it in his eyes, glancing away when you would ask about a scar on his arm or a cut on his thumb.
The first time you fought on it was when you saw the huge scar on his face in the second year. You had worried so much that you pushed Remus's patience, and he had yelled at you. For twelve years old, it was a big hit in their friendship. You hadn't talked to each other for two weeks. In the end, Remus approached you to apologize and explained how the Marauders' prank had backfired, resulting in his scar. You had cried that day because of how much you had missed your friend. Remus hugged you tight, but you could swear you heard a sniff or two from him as well.
Remus would always say the scars on his body were because of a prank, and you would pretend to believe it.
Until this year.
You may be a Gryffindor, but you weren't stupid. You had noticed how he would disappear every full moon and "get sick." You didn't push him before because you thought maybe he needed time, but his distrust was turning the understanding in you into resentment.
It hadn't been to hard make speculations about the situation, but you wanted him to confide in you.
"Are you asleep with your eyes open?" Remus startled you, pulling your focus back to the present.
"Are you calling me a dolphin?"
"You two have a lot in common," he patted your head with his quill.
"Freakingly cute?"
"Freakingly evil."
You elbowed him but regretted it the moment he grimaced with pain.
"What's wrong?" you asked, albeit you immediately guessed another injury under his brown jumper.
He forced a smile. "You just proved my point."
"I didn't even hit you that hard!"
"You tell yourself that," Remus stood up, nodding simultaneously. "That's enough for today."
"Already? You sure you okay?" you worried a bit, standing up. "It's only been forty minutes."
"For you, lazy lady. I've been here for an hour, remember?"
"Go on, rub it in, or I won't hear the end of it until tomorrow."
You two were walking to the exit now with relaxed paces.
"Yeah, about that. I won't be able to study with you tomorrow."
You inhale a deep breath and huff it out.
Here goes nothing.
"Again?"
"Yes," his voice is rusty now.
"Why?"
"Marauders thing."
Same excuse as the last month.
You didn't say anything, giving him one more chance again.
Tumblr media
"That's bollocks, Remus."
Remus simply curved a side of his lips to a tiny smile, almost unnoticeable to anyone. Well, anyone but you.
However, you were too irritated to mellow at his smile.
Only for one day, you didn't see him, and he had a new scar, and what a coincidence that the same day was a full moon.
"You really shouldn't curse."
"What truly happened to your arm?"
"Sirius accidentally cut it," he said for the third time that day.
"Stop lying."
Maybe you were wrong to push him like this, but you didn't care at that moment.
"I'm not lying, Y/N," he said before grabbing both his and your books and pressing them between his left arm and torso. "Let's go, we have class in ten."
When you didn't budge, his smile grew, and he stretched his free hand towards you.
"Come on, move your arse. We'll be late."
"You shouldn't curse," you said firmly, trying to look as angry as you could. You were on your limit and had no intention of backing off this time. "And I'm not coming with you."
"Why is that?" he pulled his outstretched hand back to the pocket of his trousers, wearing a soft expression, which his mocking tone contrasted with.
"You know why."
"I'm afraid I don't know why you are not coming to class."
"I will go to class, just not with you," you scowled at his nonchalance.
He pressed his lips into a thin line.
"And why is that?"
"Because I've decided that I'm not talking to you."
"That's not fair."
"Yes, it is," you snapped, standing before him. You waited a few minutes for something, eyes narrowed. When Remus chuckled at your annoyed expression, you walked past him, hitting him with your shoulder.
Striding to the common room's exit, you ignored Remus's call. Only after leaving his sight, you fathomed that you had left your book with him but shrugged it off. You two always sat next to each other, and Remus was too nice of a friend not to bring it back.
"Hey, angry lady." his playfully soft tone danced in your ear, making your heart flutter in your ribcage.
"Go away."
"We're headed to the same class."
"Go away from me, then."
"I'm carrying your book."
"No one asked you to," you still hadn't spared him a glance but could feel the soft smile on his lips.
"No one needed to. I'm a gentleman."
"My arse."
"What about it?"
Your head snapped in his direction. Remus was smirking at you, acting like you weren't almost about to fight ten minutes ago.
You walked into the classroom from the door Remus held open for you straight to your seat.
"Give me my book back."
"You forgot the magic word, lady," he sat next to you. "You know, the one starting with 'P'."
"Petrificius Totalus?"
"That would also work, but I had something nicer in mind. Try again?"
"Periculum."
"What would you need the flames for?"
"To burn you."
"You're so violent this morning. Hadn't had your morning coffee?"
"Just give the bloody book back."
"Now that I think about it, you've been violent for the last three days."
You groaned when the professor started the lesson.
"Don't be bitter, Y/N," he pleaded, watching you snatch your book back. He hated when you were angry at him. "I already told you the truth."
"That's rubbish, and you know that," you whispered so the professor wouldn't hear you. "We're not twelve anymore."
"You were a lot nicer when you were twelve, though."
"And a lot stupider."
"Aye. You'll hear no argument from me."
You knew he was merely attempting to lighten the mood, but he didn't realise it only made you more furious.
"Why are you keeping a secret from me?" you finally blurted out the question gnawing on your insides.
Remus's smile ebbed. He exhaled sharply before turning away from you.
"I am not keeping anything from you."
"Then you must think I am gullible because that's the only explanation for you repeating the same 'prank injuries' lie over and over again."
"That's not a lie."
"Is there a problem?"
You clenched your jaw when you heard the professor's rough voice.
"No, Professor," Remus shook his head, ending the chatter.
You didn't talk for the rest of the lesson. However, to your frustration, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his direction only to find him doing the same.
The moment the class was dismissed, you immediately got up and left the room. The last half an hour in the boring potion class made you question some things. You were at odds with yourself.
And now, in the middle of the hallway, with your books to your chest, your mind was hosting a party for questions.
Was it really about you? Maybe no.
Did Remus deserve some secrecy? Maybe yes.
Did your infatuation with your best friend get in the way of your judgement? Breaking your heart not because he had a secret he didn't want to share but because he didn't love you back? No, of course not (It did).
But you deserved his trust. At least, that was how you were feeling based on the years of friendship.
Were you wrong? Probably.
"Y/N!"
You took a deep breath and blew it out as you turned to face Remus, who quickened his pace to catch up to you. He's smiling. Again.
"What?"
"You still pissed at me?"
"Yes? No? I don't know, Remus," you shrugged and carried on walking to the Great Hall. "I don't understand why you won't share it with me. Don't you trust me?"
"I do," he drawled, and you waited for him to continue. He hesitated at first but gave up after your determination not to make a sound.
"Listen, it's not something about you. I just don't like sharing it."
"Does James know? Sirius? Peter?" you arched a brow, desperately hoping for him to say no. You watched him he open his mouth and close it without a reply.
Well, that was it.
He didn't want to tell you, and you were supposed to be okay with it.
You nodded, hurt at something you didn't want to voice.
Remus stopped you from your arm, turning you so that you would face him. His hands made their way to your sulked shoulders and caressed them back to your hands to hold them tight, sending shivers through your body.
"When the time is right, I will tell you," he said. You looked up into his brown eyes, forcing yourself not to peek at his lips. You had always loved his eyes, and his lips.
"I promise. Just trust me."
You lowered your head, closing your eyes to the pleading in his words.
"I just don't understand why you don't trust me."
Remus stepped forward, letting your head lay on his chest.
"I told you, dove. This is not about you. Truly."
You knew it too.
You knew the reason you were so angry was not Remus but your love for him.
You knew you were not resenting Remus but your own inability to suppress your feelings.
So you nodded, hugging him back.
Tumblr media
"What do you smell?" you asked Remus, trying not to sound too eager or excited. You were hoping he couldn't hear your racing heart and couldn't see your trembling hands.
Remus inclined his head to the potion, taking in the smell the Amortentia was radiating.
One, two, tree...
He frowned, looking lost. He clenched his jaw, blinking fast. Something must be wrong.
Six, seven, eight...
He cleared his throat, locking his eyes with yours.
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...
Remus straightened his back, curling the side of his lips upwards awkwardly.
"What do you smell?"
You gulp, lips parting and then closing and then parting again. You weren't sure it was the right thing to tell him what you smelled from the love potion.
Parchment, coffee, melting chocolate.
Everything that reminded you of him.
"I asked you first."
You sounded taut, internally having a fight between your heart and your brain over the control of your body, mind, and soul.
You didn't know what you wanted to hear from him exactly, but what you did know was that you were praying for it to be something, anything that would remind him of you.
"It's- it's nice," he simply said.
"Mine, too."
"What is it?" he asked, his voice so low that if you weren't so close to him, you wouldn't hear him from all the chatters in the classroom.
You longed to tell him.
Tell him and get it over with. Put down the weighing affection in your shoulders, your lungs and your heart, even if it meant having it broken.
You looked up at him, biting your lower lip so hard it almost bled.
Remus waited and waited and waited for you.
"It's uhm, it's parchment... and uh,-"
"Mr Lupin, are you two done with your potions?
You quickly put a distance between you and Remus. Professor Slughorn stood by the pot, smelling the potion.
"Ah, you are. Well done, you two."
You refused to turn back to Remus, your eyes examining every student in the classroom as Remus cleaned the desk.
James Potter was grinning at Lily Evans, who, in turn, had an unreadable expression on her face. You hoped Lily had smelled James; it would make your friend foolishly happy.
It was a bit chaotic in the room; happy, angry, sad and confused faces were scattered around. A student had even managed to blow up his potion somehow.
You saw Sirius and wondered what he had smelled, but soon your thoughts took a turn when you noticed Sirius was not alone. He was muttering something to Severus Snape with a devilish grin on his face.
"You guys have another prank coming?" you asked Remus, your eyes not leaving Sirius.
You didn't see Remus flinch and almost drop the knife.
"No? Why?"
"Oh, nothing. Then Sirius must be messing with Snape for his own amusement."
Remus hummed softly.
Tumblr media
"I love James and Sirius, but was this really necessary?"
It was cold, and you were freezing, not because you had clothed lightly but because it was seven in the morning and in the middle of winter. Remus, seated next to you, was in no better condition. All because your friends insisted you watch them fly around on a broom.
"Well, he had said we were a great support."
"Do I look like any kind of support at this moment?" your teeth were starting to chatter. You closed your eyes at Remus's chuckle, hoping, wishing and praying that you would never forget its sweet melody.
"You look anything but."
You laughed at his words, totally oblivious, his gaze lingering on your smile.
"When is even this game?"
"In two weeks, that's the only thing Pads and Prongs talk about. Where's your head at?"
"I usually tune them out. They're disturbingly loud."
James screamed loudly at Sirius; you threw an 'I told you so' glance at Remus, who rolled his eyes in return. You liked when he did that.
"Try living in the same dorm room with them."
"Must not be fun since you're carrying the scars of the battle in your body."
"And in my soul," he nodded swiftly several of times. You adored the way his brown locks messed into each other, still looking fluffy. "Are you cold?"
"No, I'm sweating," you snarked, peeking at Remus. Maybe you were wrong because he definitely appeared more decent than you were. He beamed at you, sneaking in closer, his leg brushing yours.
Without further ado, he pulled his arm over your shoulder, tugging you to his chest. Your breath hitched as his scent filled your mind.
You hated how your heart reacted every time you were this close to him; a hand away to hold his hand, a breath away to kiss his lips-
"Better now?"
You pushed the image deep into your mind, heat blossoming in your chest, colouring your cheeks.
"Cheers."
The next you-don't-know-how-many minutes later, the practice was over, and the players were now descending to the ground. Remus hadn't let go of you yet, not that you wanted him to.
You watched as James and Sirius joked around, Peter joining them later on.
"Hey, lovebirds! Come down!" James yelled, his hands around his mouth.
You raised your head to see Remus frowning at them before smiling at you, which you returned shortly as you stepped out of his warm embrace.
"Who's hungry?" James asked as you two also joined them and answered before anyone else could. "I am. Let's eat."
"Evans still won't tell me what she smelled in Amortentia."
"Drop it, mate. If she wanted to tell, she would've," Sirius slapped James's back before stepping into the Great Hall before everyone.
"If you push her, she might get irritated, you know," you reasoned with James, albeit you knew it was in vain.
"With me? Impossible, I'm lovely."
"Not to her, apparently."
"Not everyone has a Moony around to cuddle, Y/N."
Peter snorted and dodged the hit from Remus's hand.
"What? James, that's not even relevant!" you hid the crimson of your checks with feigned annoyance, refusing to glance at Remus.
"It doesn't have to be relevant," he shrugged, grinning ear to ear. You shook your head, grabbed a toast and didn't see Remus arch a brow at James.
"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked, making all of you turn around.
"He was there a minute ago, was he not?" you questioned, aimed mainly at James. If there was only one person you could ask about Sirius, and he would have an answer, he was James.
Obviously, not this time because James simply shrugged.
Tumblr media
You were jealous. You had never been jealous over Remus until now.
You knew Lily Evans was his good friend, you liked her too, and you knew Remus would never even think about her in that way.
But still, you couldn't help but feel like you were on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to push you every time Lily would put her hand on Remus's hand, grazing the tiny cut lightly with her thumb. Your heart was a target to all sorts of knives when you heard Remus chuckle at Lily's words.
You couldn't help but wonder if she knew Remus's secret.
"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Y/N," Sirius cut your thoughts short.
"I don't know what you're talking about," you dismissed him with a shake of your head, pulling your gaze from Remus to the potion top. "Did you add the Powdered Root of Asphodel?"
Remus had always told you that you were the girl closest to him, and it would always stay like this. But you couldn't get rid of the doubts in your mind you were so certain that were emerging because of your feelings.
"Yes, stir twice clockwise," Sirius started working on Sopophorous bean juice. "I'm talking about Moony."
"What about him?" you bit down your lip and hoped your voice didn't shake when Remus's nickname startled your train of thought. How you loved that nickname...
"Others may be oblivious but don't be ridiculous, I see how you stare at him."
You didn't know how to reply to that claim, so you kept silent but turned your eyes to the long-haired boy. He smiled at you as if an encouragement, which almost crumbled your defences. You were on the verge of giving out.
Would it be bad if there was at last a person to share your feelings with?
"So, is it a monthly 'I fancy him' situation or..?"
"Something more," you finished for him, earning a croon. Here, you had said it with no guarantee that he would keep your secret but with the hope that he would help you carry the burden.
"Am I that transparent?"
"Only when you're jealous, love."
You nodded, smiling a little.
Sirius watched the way you were picking the skin around your nails.
"Hey, stop worrying. I'll tell no one."
Relief had hugged you at that moment, thankful that Sirius took your feelings lightly and didn't make a big deal out of it. Also, happy that you weren't alone anymore in this secret; you had someone capable of understanding.
"Sirius?"
"Mhm?"
"Do you think he'll ever...love me back?"
He sighed, drying his hands. You felt his hands on yours, returning the gesture.
"You know Moony, he doesn't talk about feelings," you laughed bitterly, placing your head on his shoulder. "But he is a plonker if he never returns your feelings, and I'll make sure he gets a new scar if he ever hurts them."
"Thank you, Pads," you melt into his hug as you feel his arms around your waist.
"You smell of strawberries," he took a strand of your hair into his hand, sniffing it. "What shampoo are you using?"
"Stop smelling me like a dog!" you pushed him away, giggling when he gasped in fake hurt. "Focus, we still have to finish that potion."
Sirius carried on with his Sopophorous bean, and you looked around for a sloth brain.
"Did you forget the sloth brain?"
"I thought you were going to get it," Sirius shrugged, looking up. "Moony and Evans have one more. Go and grab from them."
You glanced at the pair, noticing that Remus was already staring at you. He didn't budge when you smiled at him and changed his focus back to Lily.
Red hair, green eyes, dainty freckles and graceful stature. Why did she have to be this beautiful?
You sauntered to their seat, passing near a bunch of students that were requiring the Professor's attention. Remus refused to look up to you when Lily offered you a kind smile.
"Hey, Remus, do you mind sharing an ingredient with me and Sirius?"
"You don't have it?" his tone was not kind, and his eyes were cold.
"I thought he was supposed to take it, but it turns out he thought I would take it," you mumbled real quick, still not fathoming the reason behind his coldness. "So here we are."
"You guys were pretty out of it. How do you even manage to get the job done?"
"We are doing fine," you frown. What was wrong with him?
"Yeah, I saw."
"Are you going to let us borrow the ingredient, or should I ask James and Pete?"
His gaze finally changed into something you couldn't quite name. He turned to Lily, who was trying her best not to pry.
"We won't need the spare," she consented in an instant. Remus dashed to the other side of the desk, clutching the jar and dashing back to you.
"Thank you," you mumbled as you clasped it in your hand. He merely nodded one time before carrying on with whatever he was doing.
You could swear you heard Lily whisper to him, 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you?' before parting, but you ignored it.
You couldn't find Sirius when you were back, so you finished the last steps of the potion on your own. He didn't pop up when the Professor checked the work or when he dismissed the class.
Tumblr media
"Why are you pissed at me?"
"Moony is pissed at you?" James hopped in as you made your seat next to Remus, who was busy with his meal.
"Yes–"
"I'm not."
You stared at him in disbelief and bemusement.
"You certainly are. Now tell me why."
When Remus looked at you, a smile inched his lips up though his eyes were still grumpy.
"Where's Sirius?" he asked.
"I-I don't know," your head sought him out, giving out in confusion. "How is he any relevant?"
You ignored James muttering, 'You really do like that word, huh?' as your eyes desperately tried to understand why Remus was being weird. But instead of an appropriate reason, all you got was a shrug.
You shook your head in dissatisfaction and stretched your arm for the pumpkin juice. Seeing your attempts, Remus's hand had already grabbed it and now was pouring the juice for you.
"Thank you," you whispered before clearing your throat. "So, we'll study together in the library again, right? Now that you're not 'angry'?"
Remus shook his head when you drew quotation marks with your fingers in the air.
"Today, yes. Not tomorrow, though."
You quelled the rising anger and heartbreak in your heart. In a trice, you twisted in your seat, facing James.
"What are your plans for tomorrow?"
He was taken aback by your sudden query. By the state of his full mouth and the bread crumbs around his lips, you figured out that he wasn't paying the slightest attention to you and Remus.
"Quidditch practice before breakfast?"
"In the evening, I mean."
"We're supposed to–"
"I wasn't talking to you, Remus."
Remus pursed his lips, cursing himself for not talking to James that morning. James's face crinkled in bafflement.
"I am supposed to finish my star chart with Sirius."
You nodded and glowered back at your best friend. James made a face at Remus behind your back as if asking what was going on.
"You don't take Astrology, Remus."
"I'll study with Lily tomorrow," he said, and you froze.
You were supposed to study together. You and Remus. Together. Like the way it had always been.
He wasn't supposed to study with the prettiest girl in the house. The graceful girl with a delicate smile and silky fire-kissed hair.
You didn't know when or how the familiar burn in your chest surged up, but you recognised what it was. You welcomed the acute sharpness of its thorns and the way it cut through your heart.
"Oi! Why didn't you tell me that? I could've finished the chart earlier and joined you!"
You tuned out James's protest. You wished you could tune out Remus mumbling to him, 'We decided in the potions.' too. But if there was one thing you could never turn a deaf ear to, it was Remus's voice; soft yet stern, melancholic yet hopeful. You wanted to tattoo the tune into your brain the way it was engraved into your heart.
You heard Remus call your name. You hated the way you loved your name from his lips. He had always chanted your name so gently, like an incantation, caressing your soul's most hidden-away parts.
"Yes?"
"I couldn't say no to Lily," he said apologetically.
"Yes, of course," you rose from your seat, offering Remus a smile you hoped covered the hurt behind your eyes. "I understand."
"Where you going?" he attempted to grab you by your wrist, but you were agile. You snatched your wrist away unobtrusively.
"I'm going to look for Sirius."
Tumblr media
"Hiya, love," Sirius greeted you at the curtail step of the Grand Staircase. You had looked for him in the castle, but you stumbled on him when you finally gave up and decided to head to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Where were you? I couldn't find you close to the end of the potions," you asked him, feeling a bit better now that you're out of Remus's company.
He shrugged, denying you the answer.
"You, too, Pads?" you stopped your steps, making Sirius do the same. He looked confused.
"I, too, what?"
"Somehow, I never get an answer to any of my questions these days, and it's bloody frustrating," you blurted out the grudge that had made home in you within a breath.
"Someone's getting ready to throw a strop," his mocking tone brought you to your senses. You pouted, sighing away the anger and resentment building up in your core.
"Don't sulk, love," he said as he dropped a hand on your shoulder, which impeded your movement on the stairs. "If it is any consolation, I have a problem with Snape."
"What problem?"
"You remember our last prank on him, right?" he smiled sheepishly. He continued when you nodded. "Right, so he may or may not have been trying to get back at me for it."
"So you two have been fighting like two little third-years for the last week?"
"Uh-huh," you rolled your eyes when he showed you his ridiculously white teeth. "I'm setting the ground for something big, but can't tell you, so don't ask."
"Fine."
"Your turn."
"It's silly," you cringed at the thought. Everything always made sense in your head until it was time to actually voice them.
"Good. Then we'll have a laugh. Come on, now," Sirius squeezed your arm as reassurance.
"Remus is a liar. Sometimes..." you purposely left out the once-in-a-month fact, "He stands me up, saying it's a Marauders thing-"
You held your hand up to interrupt Sirius, who was about to back up his friend.
"Don't. It is a lie. I know something is going on, and I have speculations, I'm not stupid, Sirius–"
"Never said you were."
"And it's okay, you know? We talked about it, and he told me he needed time, and I didn't argue. But now he tells me he isn't gonna study with me because he promised Lily, and I know it's an excuse because he couldn't use the 'Marauders thing' lie this time–"
"Don't forget to breathe."
"It's just...she's pretty and smart and–"
"In love with Prongs."
"You don't know that."
"No, but she will be, and you don't even need to worry about Evans. She's just a good friend of Moony."
You exhale heavily, begging for your endeavours to suppress the ache in your throat to work.
Yes, she was a good friend of Remus. But you're supposed to be his best friend.
Howbeit, more importantly, what was muddling you was the thought that Lily knew Remus's secret.
"I know, Pads. I just can't help it."
Sirius said the password to your common room and gave you the way first.
"You should talk to him, you know," he said as you threw yourself onto a sofa.
"And tell him that I'm ridiculously jealous because of his friendship with Evans, yeah?"
You smiled at Sirius's laugh. "I pity you, love."
You pitied yourself, too.
Tumblr media
You grimaced when you felt the metallic taste of blood. Pulling your teeth from your lips, you pushed them together so the blood on them would dry.
You've been pacing around your dorm room, contemplating whether to get down to the library.
Part of you yearned for Remus's presence, while the other part wanted to avoid him forever, not ready to face and voice your thoughts to him. You knew he never left any quarrel unsolved, never letting you stay upset.
Ultimately, your love for him overwhelmed your resentment, and before you knew it, you grabbed your book and ambled down the stairs.
Your knuckles were white from clutching the book hard when you entered the empty library. The only thing you could think about was if Remus was going to be there.
And he was.
He raised his head from his book the moment you crossed his sight, brown eyes full of different emotions that you couldn't sort.
You chose to ignore how his leg was bouncing and how his hair was way messier than usual.
He softly smiled at you when you sat next to him. You smiled back.
You hoped maybe he would act like everything was alright and you wouldn't have to think about your feelings.
But you inhaled sharply when he didn't.
"We're fighting a lot these days," he said, looking at your fingers rather than your eyes. "I hate it when we fight."
"We didn't fight."
"It may not be a fight, but," he took your hands into his, "I know you're hurt."
When you kept silent, he took this as his cue to go on.
"I'm sorry, dove. I should've known it would hurt your feelings to stand up our evening studies."
"You know well that it is not the matter," you said, pulling your hands back. "Stop acting like you don't."
"I'm going to need you to be more specific."
Dozens of questions raced through your mind, but you only managed to ask the one tearing you apart with jealousy. You pushed to voice that screamed at you, saying 'you're being too blunt' back in its place.
"Does Lily know your secret?"
Remus sighed. He parted his lips and then pushed them back together. You fathomed that he was getting irritated from the twitch of his hand.
"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't bring this up again–"
"Does she?"
"She does."
"You told her."
"She figured it out herself," he arched his brow at you eloquently. You despised the meaning behind that expression. It mocked you, claiming that you were not as bright as another.
"Of course, she did," You turned your side to him and opened the cover of your book. Little did he know you had figured everything, too. Except, you waited for his confiding.
"Alright, that's it," Remus shut the cover back to regain your attention. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What?"
"Y/N, you've been picking fights for the last bloody month. And I try, I really, really try to be patient but I don't understand what your problem is."
Your face wrinkled in confusion. 
"Remus, what are you talking about? We were fine until this morning."
Remus held back for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Maybe. But we're having the exact bloody conversation every once a month, and it's getting on my nerves."
This was the last straw for you. Getting on his nerves? 
You had been patient with him since the day you became friends.
You had been understanding towards him every time he pushed you away when he was upset and pulled you back for support.
You had been gentle with him every time he snapped at you before full moons and every time he broke your heart after full moons.
And you had been loving him for the last five years, first as your friend, then as a boy, despite his flaws, blemishes and imperfections.
And now he couldn't even handle your resentment?
Anger climbed its way to your chest, burning down every wall you've ever built to keep your heart's secrets hidden away.
Words were scattered across your mind, ready for you to use them as your weapon against the pain havocing in your soul.
You couldn't keep anything in anymore.
"You know what's getting on my nerves, Remus? You being a liar–"
"I am a liar?"
"Yes. Yes, you fucking are. You have been lying to me for the last five years, and I've been bloody patient.
You think you're being patient? Well, try being best friends with yourself. Someone who lies to you, keeps secrets from you, but tells you you're his best friend, and then fucking repeats everything again."
"I asked you to give me time!"
"And I did! I've been understanding towards you and acted dumb every time you gave me nonsense excuses like you did today."
Remus shook his head. 
"You're being selfish."
"I am being selfish?" your eyes widened in disbelief. He truly had the gall to call you selfish after five years of his lies, excuses, and your espousing only for his sake.
"It's not always about you, you know. I just wanted to spend some time with Lily tomorrow, it's not an excuse."
You sniggered, awed by the way he could lie so easily.
"How come even Evans knows you better than me?!"
Remus clenched his jaw and rose up to his feet. You knew he was trying his best to keep himself collected, not to take out the anger on you, but you had had enough. You looked up to the veins popping up on his neck from your seat when he raised his voice.
"She figured everything out herself! It's not my fault that you can't do that!"
"So, now I have to try to solve you out by myself? That's not how friendships work, Remus! You're supposed to trust me-"
"No! I don't have to do anything! I've had fucking enough. I don't owe anyone anything, including you. Remus this, Remus that. Everyone has something they want from Remus. Everyone rubs their so-called favours and sacrifices into my face, always demanding something in return-"
"I've never even once harped on anything I did for you! I only wanted you to open up to me-"
"And the only thing I asked from you was patience! Fucking patience!" he dashed at you, grabbing you by the sides. "But here you are, bringing up the same bloody thing every month like a broken record! So yes, you are the most selfish girl I've ever met!"
His words cut through your heart like a sword, the same sword you had placed in his hand.
You looked at his dilated pupils and how they almost swallowed the gentleness of the brown you always loved.
You blinked the tears away that were threatening to invade your vision and swallowed the lump in your throat down.
Patience, he had said. Time, he had said. You were selfish, he had said.
An unfamiliar surge of acrimony washed you down, anger flaming in your chest. Its white flames swallowed your love for the boy whole, echoing his words from nothingness.
You pushed him away as hard as you could. He tottered a few steps back, eyes softening at your raged visage. In a blink, you were up from your seat and closed the distance between you two.
"You want patience? I have been patient when you let everyone in but me. I've been patient when you pushed me away in the second year after learning about your father. When you snapped at me for worrying about you. When you yelled at me because I wanted to touch the scar on your face." 
Remus parted his lips, but you held your hand to stop him from talking. With every sentence, your tone was soaring, the tears were prickling your eyes, and you had let go.
"Don't interrupt me! I'm not done. I gave you time when you got 'sick' every month and didn't let me see you or when you cried in my lap but refused to talk to me later. I gave you time when you didn't speak to me for days because you were angry and when you lied to me every month because you didn't trust me enough!
You want time and patience?!
I have given you my time and patience for the last five years and have been loving you for the past three, Remus! So don't you ever dare to call me selfish!"
You snapped your mouth shut, letting the wave of fury and relief wash over you. Remus's eyes changed into something new, something you had never learned about him.
 Only then did a stronger feeling hit you: dread.
You had confessed your love for him. 
His eyes were heavy with emotion, the crease between the brows still reminding you of his anger, while the benign brown lit up the hope inside your soul.
"You what?" a whisper left his mouth, so low that you wouldn't be able to hear it if it wasn't dead silence in the library.
You didn't repeat yourself. You didn't even reply to him. You simply turned away and dashed out of the library.
xxxxx
When you woke up the next morning, all you could think about was that it was a full moon today.
You didn't think it would be a good idea to see Remus today, but you were worried about him. You wished to know how he was, where he was, and how he would endure this night. Would he have new scars the following day? Or a headache? Did he love you back?
So many questions and not enough answers.
James and Sirius were in the Quidditch practice, probably Remus and Peter as an audience. You had decided not to join them this time, trying to drown the chaos in your mind with homework instead. Or maybe you were too embarrassed to acknowledge Remus. 
Anyhow, one can only tolerate writing an essay to one point.
You slapped your book shut, groaning to yourself when you relived your last memory with Remus. Yesterday was the reason why you hated being angry; you would either cry or lose control of your mouth. And since you had bone both of them in one evening, you were planning on rotting in your room. However, your short span of attention was not helping. With every sentence you managed to put together, Remus's brown eyes would pop up in your mind. 
You glanced at the weather; grey clouds and chilly wind. Who would even want to be outside in this weather?
James (and maybe you).
You shook your head and decided that maybe rotting yourself until everyone would forget about your existence was not a good plan, as it was getting boring. Checking the time, you smiled because the Quidditch practice should be finished by now. Thus, you got up and left your dorm room. If only you could make it out of the common room without being seen by Remus. 
Sauntering down the stairs, you slowed your steps. Before revealing yourself, you checked the common room and saw James and Peter laughing. No Remus or Sirius. You wondered if Remus told them about your love confession. You hoped not.
Stopping into the room, you made your way to them, putting on a genuine smile. You tried to suppress the anxiety rising in your throat and reminded yourself that these boys were your friends.
"Look who's here," James narrowed his eyes at you. "The traitor."
"I missed only one practice, James."
"He and Sirius are way more dramatic today. James almost asked Evans to marry him this morning."
"Seems like a normal morning, Pete," you said, even though you couldn't help but chuckle. "Where's Sirius, though?"
"He went to see his brother. Said he'll be back in ten minutes or something."
You hummed at James, pushing your lips together.
"And Remus?"
"With Evans, I wager."
The familiar burn in your chest resurfaced. 
"I'll go find Sirius. See you guys later."
Tumblr media
"You have a death wish, I see?"
You jumped at Sirius's voice. As opposed to what you said to James and Peter, you didn't go looking for Sirius. Instead, you were strolling around the castle yard. You liked how the frigid air sent shivers down your spine, it was refreshing. And you, without a doubt, needed refreshment.
"How'd you know?"
"You're walking around in nothing but your sweater?"
You smiled and shrugged, waiting for him to catch up to you. When he did, he removed his black leather and placed it on your shoulders. You caught the burn on his hand.
"What happened to your hand?"
Sirius glanced at his hand shortly and yanked it back into the pocket of his trousers.
"Ah. Nothing. Snape and I had a little duel just now."
"Sirius, this is getting out of hand. You need to stop."
"Yeah, don't worry. It's going to end tonight."
Your heart dropped. 
"What do you mean?"
He burst into laughter, worrying you more. 
"I'm going to scare the hell out of that prick, he'll never dare touch me again."
You attempted a smile, though you weren't sure it came out smooth.
"What do you mean?"
Sirius turned to you, patting your arm with his fist. "Don't worry about it. Tell me what made you take a walk in such weather."
Now you were both worried and uncomfortable. Embarrassment was burning your ears up, making you wish that the ground would split in two and swallow you whole. However, you decided to bury the worries and awkwardness. You deserved someone listening to you, after all, so you shared everything with him.
After a few gasps and woahs, you quietened while Sirius was contemplating what to say and how to say it.
"You haven't seen him since?"
You shook your head no.
"Well, he was grumpy this morning, but I don't think it's related to you."
Yet, you were certain that it was related to you. 
He was grumpy because he was angry at you. He was grumpy because he didn't return your feelings, and you made him uncomfortable by confessing them. He was grumpy because you just shattered your friendship. Or maybe he was grumpy because it was a full moon.
"I think he hates me now."
Sirius snorted at your declaration. "You're one hell of an overthinker, aren't you?"
When you didn't reply, he pushed you with his side softly, "Hey, come on, it's Moony we're talking about. He can never hate you."
"You can't possibly know that."
"Yes, I can. Remember in the third grade how he literally hated all of us for burning his paper?"
"I mean, he wasn't exactly wrong. We did destroy two weeks' work."
"Exactly. He rained hell upon us for a month. Well, most of us. He didn't touch you, and whenever we would ask him why, he would hit us before saying, 'It would hurt her feelings'."
You smiled at the thought of thirteen years old Remus coddling you.
"I didn't know that."
"You don't know why James changed his wand last year in the middle of the semester, either."
"I thought he broke it."
"Nah, Moony broke it."
Your eyebrows shot up in bewilderment, amusing Sirius. He nodded before resuming to talk.
 "James had a brilliant idea to cast a spell on you that would twist your tongue every time you talked. Remus wanted to waver him from it, but he was stubborn, that bastard. So before he could cast the spell, Remus broke his wand in our dorm and made it look like an accident to James."
Your smile grew wider, your eyes tearing up from intense emotions. Remus always knew about your anxiety, and he had always cared enough to help you through it. Whenever you would fidget with your fingers because you were about to give a big speech, he would put his hand on yours to calm them down. Whenever you would sweat because the professor was criticising you in front of the whole class, he would touch his knee to yours to let you know he was there. Whenever someone would make fun of you, he would be the first one to stand up for you.
"I didn't know he had it in him."
"Oh, he has a lot more in him when you are the matter," Sirius side-hugged you, letting you lean in. "You can ask him if you want."
You frowned, about to ask him what he meant but stopped in your tracks when your eyes sorted Remus from the other side of the yard. He was with Lily. Before you could ask Sirius to return to the castle, he yelled from the top of his lungs to make himself heard.
"Oi! Moony!"
"What are you doing?!" you whisper-shouted at Sirius, who was dragging you to Remus's side. 
"You can't avoid him forever."
As you got closer and closer to his side, your heart picked up the pace. You didn't feel ready to talk to him today. You were sure you wouldn't be ready tomorrow either.
Lily waved at you two when you made it to their side. You noticed the bags under Remus's eyes and his bouncing leg. You refused to lock your gaze, focusing on Lily's glorious smile. Still, you could feel his burning gaze piercing your heart.
You had tuned out their talking, alerting your mind only to Remus's presence. You didn't hear Lily's giggle or Sirius's mocking tone; you didn't even care what they were talking about.
You only cared that Remus was bouncing his leg, snapping his fingers and rubbing his temple.
You longed to put your hand on his leg to calm it down, hold his hand so that he would stop hurting them, and kiss his temple so maybe it would tender the ache.
Your heart was burning up in your chest, clenching in agony. The agony of being so close and yet so far away from him.
Every tune around you was muffled, slave to even a whisper from Remus, but he wasn't making a single sound.
You had lost count of how many heartbeats were beating in your chest, wasting time by beating away from Remus's heart.
Suddenly, they stopped.
"I have to go," said Remus.
His hoarse tone shattered everything into nothing.
He got up from Lily's side and walked back into the castle. You didn't follow him.
You missed his voice.
Tumblr media
The weather was dark and still cold. You clung to Sirius's jacket more tightly. He hadn't asked for it back and said he would take it from you tomorrow.
You should return to the common room; it was neither safe nor clever to wander around at night. And you did. You turned around and started striding to the castle, only to flinch when you saw a figure exiting it.
It was hard for you to distinguish the person, so you followed him. You waited for the light of the full moon to reveal the silhouette's identity to you. You bit down your lip when you saw Severus Snape sauntering towards the Whomping Willow.
He must've lost his mind.
Your heart fastened with Severus's every step, dread of what was about to come sending tremors down your body. Your fingers itched in anticipation.
You hid behind a bush and watched him with terror. It was dark at night. It was a full moon. You were near the Whomping Willow.
Why did you even follow Snape?
When he finally crossed the safe proximity, the tree started moving. Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes unable to blink.
You waited for the tree to frantically shake and sway its branches. You waited for it to injure Severus or maybe even kill him.
But it didn't.
The moment it started to move an inch, it stopped. You thought maybe Snape had cast a spell; you could only see his back.
He slowly approached the tree, disappearing into a hole under it.
You rose to your feet and took a few steps towards the tree. You felt uncomfortably vulnerable at that moment, standing out in the open where you could get attacked by every side and wouldn't even be able to prevent it.
What if the tree starts moving when you're near?
Where did Snape go?
Should you even be here?
If there was only one question you knew the answer to, it was the last one.
You wanted to return to the castle and forget about all this in the morning. You truly did. However, you figured that there was no turning back when you heard a howl and a scream coming from the hole.
You jumped back with fear, oblivious to the yelp that left you.
Your first instinct was to run. Run away as fast as you could, without looking back, but something deep in your conscience didn't let you flee.
What if Snape was alone out there, and he needed help?
What if he was injured?
You cursed under your breath and took one more step towards the tree.
Your heart was pounding in your ear, competing with the sound of the howl down on the ground. You convinced yourself that it was the fear that made the howling sound closer than before.
One, two, three.
You exhaled sharply and started running to the hole.
You prayed that the tree wouldn't move.
Your legs made a stop before you could fathom what was happening.
More than one figure emerged from the ground, but your eyes only saw the big, ugly beast. Moonlight was glistening through its thick grey fur, displaying a horrendous sight. The tawny glow in its eyes was impossible to miss, as well as its tall and scrawny bone structure. The snarls from the beast were threatening to change into something more dangerous. 
Snape was screaming. You could swear you heard James, your name or maybe your own scream too.
However, your eyes never left the beast.
You had seen it in the pictures. You knew what it was.
A werewolf.
Remus.
And it was planning to attack Severus.
Your Remus.
You took out your wand, not even once looking away from the beast. Your mind was chasing every charm you've ever chanted, looking for the best one for the situation. 
The beast pounced on Snape with a growl.
Snape slumped into the ground. 
The beast towered over him, ready to attack. 
You aimed your wand at it, screaming the first thing that came to mind. 
"Petrificus Totalus!"
You had diverted the beast's attention, presenting an opportunity for James to save Snape.
"No, Y/N!" 
When James's cry tore your mind from the shock, you understood that you had made a mistake. 
Spells don't work on werewolves.
A gasp left your mouth when the werewolf directed its attention from Severus to you. You didn't see Snape fleeing or James carefully walking to you. All you could see was the icy light in its eyes glaring at you, sending sheer panic down your spine.
You hesitated to make any more sound, no matter how much you wanted to yell James's name for help. 
You didn't know how to fight werewolves, no one had ever taught you that. You didn't want to die, either.
The growl from the beast intensified, sending you enough signals that the inevitable was close. With your every step back, it was taking a step forward. 
No, no, no, no, no, no.
"Y/N RUN!
And you did. 
You ran until your lungs gave out, your legs crippled, and your heart burst.
You ran until your eyes watered from the chilly air, your nose hurt from the sharp breaths, and your ears echoed the beast's growls.
A branch cut just above your cheek, but you didn't stop.
 You ran until you lost control of your mind, giving it up to your body, performing purely under adrenalin.
But the beast ran with you, too. It followed you into the forest, howling and growling, letting you know death was close. Letting you know that the screams drowning in the night were in vain. Letting you know that the tears staining your face were in vain.
Your breaths mingled with your screams, your hair getting into your mouth. Sweat and tears melded into each other, burning up the cut on your face.
Before you could understand what had happened, your body hit the cold ground with a thud. Your eyes clenched shut, taking in pain vibrating through you. You felt the soil staining your face and body. Your weeping turned into a shriek when you felt yourself yanked into the dirt on your stomach.
Your eyes widened with fear when you finally fathomed the claw grabbing your ankle. It dragged you back, hoping to get the claws on your throat, too. Your fingers dug into the earth. You fought to free yourself from the beast. The jagged stones on the ground gashed your forearm. The dirt stung the gash. Your blood glistened under the moonlight. The beast howled. It turned you on your back.
Remus, Remus, Remus.
One last cry left you. The beast raised its claws, towering over you.
Remus.
You closed your eyes. The tears didn't stop.
Moony.
A high-pitched whine soared in the sky. You were sure it didn't come from you. Something hit your hip. You opened your eyes. 
A stag. 
A stag stroke the beast with its horns in the underbelly, tossing it away from you. The stag jumped over you, attacking the werewolf again. Animalistic voices ascended in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.
You crawled behind a large rock and took deep breaths. You knew you had to run. This was your opportunity to flee for your life, but you had exhausted your body. You needed time to recover.
The growls and whines never stopped. They got louder and quieter. Closer and farther. You didn't know.
You raised your head. The Moon was gleaming, casting light your way as if telling you to get going. You couldn't. Not now.
You lowered your head at your hands. They were filthy with dirt, the soil blackening the insides of your nails.Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶d̶u̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶t̶h̶. You moved your left arm, checking the backside of your forearm. T̶h̶e̶ ̶j̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶a̶r̶m̶. You winced at the scar and the fresh blood around it. Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶g̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶n̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶
Without warning, a sob left put your mouth, startling you. You pressed your uninjured hand on your lips, listening around. The voices had stopped. Neither the stag nor the beast was there. You were safe.
Your hands didn't leave your mouth, so terrified that if they did, you would make a noise and lure in the beast again. You knew your body was reacting to the shock and exhaustion, but you despised the tears flooding from your eyes. You needed to get it together and leave the Dark Forest. Albeit the beast was gone, the forest was still dangerous. 
You stood up with a groan, not lowering your wand for protection. Your clothes were spoiled, and you were hurting. You looked around to find a familiar way back to the castle.
"Y/N!"
You aimed your wand at the voice, your heart retaking the pace. The voice was familiar, but you were not in the right mind to identify it.
"It's me, hey. Lower your wand," James's gentle voice weakened your muscles, your hand shaking and breath hitching. Relief surged you from head to toe.
You didn't remember when you dropped your wand into the ground and threw yourself into James's warm embrace. You only remembered how he soothed you as you sobbed with exhaustion.
"You alright?" he put a hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist to check you out after you pulled away from the hug. You nodded, feeling his gaze on your injured arm.
"Where were you?" You didn't recognise your own tone, rasp and brittle.
"Here. With you."
Something hit you in the gut. A realisation twinkled in your mind, finally comprehending the depth of 'Prongs'.
"You were the stag."
He smiled at you. "I knew you were a bright witch."
James Potter being an animagi wasn't the first priority for you tonight. 
"What happened to..." you couldn't let out the rest of the sentence. The beast. R̶e̶m̶u̶s̶
"I led it back to the Whomping Willow."
The next moments passed with silence, you two walking together to the castle and James subtly keeping his hand behind your back to make sure you were fine. You relived everything from the beginning, this time making sense of the incidents. You had so many questions and even more feelings gushing in you.
"I don't understand, James."
"Hmh?"
"Why was Snape there? Where were Sirius and Peter?"
You heard James clear his throat. His tone changed from gentle to furious in a moment.
"Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. That bastard thought it would be a good prank. He told me later because he had started to second-guess himself," he retorded, "Peter was also there, you just didn't see him. I sent him to make sure Severus gets into the castle safely."
No. 
You shook your head, not believing your ears. This couldn't be what Sirius meant by handling the Snape problem. You didn't want to believe it. Not because you were thinking too highly of Sirius but because you imagined how devastated Remus would be the next morning. You knew how much he trusted his friends.
"Remus..." you muttered under your breath, earning a hum from James that signalled him thinking the same thing. 
"Sirius will be in big trouble. I'm sure Snape had already run to Dumbledore."
You turned to James with widened eyes, he talked before you could panic. 
"Don't worry. He didn't see me as the stag or see Peter at all. That's why I was belated. I'm sorry I couldn't make it there sooner."
"Thank you for even making it there," you whispered, closing your eyes when the castle entered your sight. You avoided thinking about the possibility that James might not make it in time. What would happen then was something tragedic you never wanted to admit. "Will you see Remus tomorrow morning?"
James looked at you with such intense emotion that you thought he was pitying you.
"I will but–"
"I want to be there with you."
"No, Y/N, listen," he scratched his chin. You stared at him in question.
"I will have to explain everything to Remus tomorrow. And by that," he said, "I mean everything."
"James, I want to–"
"No. I don't want you to be there when I tell him how he almost killed you. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be there either."
"But it's not his fault–"
"That's not what he's going to think in the morning. I'll talk to him alone. Don't insist."
This was the most serious you had ever seen James Potter. Thus, you knew he wasn't going to back down. So, you didn't insist.
By the time you were in the common room, your body had calmed down, now only exhibiting exhaustion symptoms. James hugged you one more time before sending you to your dorm room.
"Shower with warm water and go to bed. I'll be in the common room if you can't sleep."
You wanted to ask him why he didn't go to sleep, but you couldn't even part your lips. So you simply offered him a weak smile and headed straight to the bathroom. The girls in your room were already asleep, meaning you had to be extra careful not to wake them up.
You scoffed at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Frantic hair, shrunk pupils, a cut on your cheek and dirt on your face. As if all these weren't enough, the gash on your arm was throbbing with pain, blood staining your sweater and maybe even Sirius's jacket too.
You stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean you thoroughly. You clenched your teeth to suppress the groan you wanted to let out of pain from your cuts. The black dirt left you as the water stroke down your body, helping you get this night out of your skin.
Your eyes were glued to the dirt getting washed away, harking back to how the beast hauled you onto the ground. Your skin still remembered the burn from the rough friction.
You couldn't close your eyes, you couldn't even blink. Every time you did, a pair of two glistening yellow eyes would stare at you, threatening to hunt you down if you kept your eyes closed a second more. If you thought about the beast a little bit more, you were sure you would have a panic attack.
So you let your mind wander around something else.
Brown locks, chocolate eyes and pink lips. 
Your lips curved when you recalled his soft voice, the way he called you dove. You warmed up, and not because of the water but because of the memory of how Remus gently stroked your hair. How he wiped away your tears. How he braided your hair perfectly after begging Peter to teach him. How he had always given you something hand-made on your birthdays because he couldn't buy anything.
You missed him. You missed the gentle smile he was always offering you. You missed your tender bickering and his teasing innuendoes.
You had missed your best friend, and no matter what would happen tomorrow, you were going to talk to him.
Tumblr media
You couldn't sleep well that night. You even had a nightmare about what happened.
James was late in the dream; you died in the end.
So you stayed up all night, only being able to dive into sleep when the air was lightening up, turning into sapphire blue. At the same time of the day, Remus was turning back to his human self. You would chuckle at the irony if you weren't sleep deprived.
When you woke up, your heart was hammering in your chest. Your roommate was beside you, a glass of water in her hand. You felt sweat drops in your neck and temple; you must be having another nightmare, then.
She offered you the glass, which you gladly accepted. 
"Thank you," you said rather hoarsely. 
"It's almost five in the afternoon, hun."
You sat up in your bed, brushing your hair back with your hands. You had a terrible headache.
"It is?"
"Aye. You sure you're alright?"
"Yes, Lizzie, thank you," you smiled at her before leaving the bad. You were both grateful and uneasy that you had missed the most part of the day. This meant that Remus had already learned about the prank.
You eyed yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked way better than yesterday night, undoubtedly. Your face had gained its colour back, and your frenzied eyes were glistening with something other than horror. The only flaws were the small cut on your face and the new eyebags.
You got ready and went down to the common room. Because it was Sunday today, the common room was crowded with students. 
Your eyes searched any of the Marauders but failed. They weren't here, and you were hungry. You made your way to the Great Hall, accompanied by nice growls from your stomach. Fortunately for you, it was dinner time.
You were too focused on the food before to find yourself a seat, so you didn't notice anyone approaching you. You flinched when a kind hand touched your arm.
"Y/N?"
"Oh, hiya Lily."
The red-haired girl smiled at you with emerald eyes. She pointed to a corner around the table with her finger. "Potter asked me to call you."
Your eyes found James, who looked as tired as you but still managed to put on a simpering smile. "Cheers," you said to Lily.
You sat next to him, stuffing your plate. Your stomach growled harder at sight.
"How are you feeling?" James asked, watching you nibble on a toast.
"Have been worse. You?"
"Have been worse."
You knew what you had to ask him, but you also knew you needed your appetite at the moment, or you would starve yourself. So you simply hummed and hastened to finish your meal.
You tried not to think about the two empty seats as you sipped your drink. James and Peter were having small talk, trying to lighten the mood. You didn't listen to that either.
You swallowed your last piece as slowly as possible, delaying the inevitable. James looked at you briefly, and you understood what it meant. He raised from his seat, having you follow him.
When you two found an abandoned corner, you turned to him, tuning out the racing of your heart.
"You didn't sleep, did you?" he pointed under your eyes with a nod of his head. You shook your head. 
"Did you talk to him?"
Unfamiliar gloom darkened James's features. "I did. Told him everything."
He glanced at you before averting his eyes away again. "He just listened. Thanked me in the end and said he wanted to be left alone."
Your heart clenched in pain. You didn't want him to be left alone. "Where is he?"
"Dunno. Didn't look for him."
"Where's Sirius?"
James stayed silent for a few seconds. "Dunno, either. We had a fight, but my guess is somewhere in the forest in his animagi form."
You didn't dwell on it any further. You loved Sirius, but you loved Remus more than anyone. Albeit you weren't furious at him, you still didn't plan on seeing him any sooner. 
"I need to talk to Remus, James."
"I truly don't know where he is."
You had to find him. You had to find him and tell him that it wasn't his fault. 
You nodded at James, mumbling a quick bye before wandering around the castle, trying to figure out where he could be.
He wouldn't go to the library. It would be an easy guess for anyone trying to find him.
James said Sirius would be outside of the castle. You were sure Remus wouldn't risk encountering him.
That left you two or three places that you knew Remus would run whenever he wanted to avoid people. So you got going.
You didn't find him at Room of Requirement or Hospital Tower. You cursed the school for being this large in area. It took you almost an hour to get from one side of the castle to another. Fortunately, you were sure Remus was on the Astronomy Tower.
As you got closer and closer to the tower, anticipation chased your heartbeats high, your hands fidgeting with their fingers. You took a moment to regulate your breathing, which had no effect on your pacing heart.
Without wasting one more moment, you entered the tower.
There he was, sitting on the ground, his head low between his hands. Around him was cold and dark, gleaming with the light from the Moon and stars. Your heart ached at the sight of him. You stepped forward, letting the sound of your footsteps alert him. He didn't acknowledge you, but you were sure he had heard you. Heartbreak burned through you, maiming you because of the distance between you two.
Your steps stopped next to him. He still hadn't looked up to you but hadn't asked you to go away either. So you sat next to him, raising your head to gaze at the stars while his head was low between his hands.
"The stars are beautiful, Remus."
He didn't budge. He didn't even move. You peeked at his chocolate-brown hair, suppressing the urge to mess with them.
"Your hair looks nice today."
Silence. You didn't know if he was ignoring you or simply ignoring everyone, and it wasn't something about you.
"Doesn't your neck hurt?"
"No."
You gulped when his voice echoed in the air. 
"It must hurt if you've been keeping it like that for a long time."
"It doesn't."
"Liar."
Silence again. You yearned for his voice once more.
"You can put your head on my shoulder, Remus."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Go away, dove."
His voice was fragile and pleading. It broke your heart, shattered it into million little pieces. A lump made its way to your throat. 
"Why?" you asked, a voice as broken as your heart. "I don't want to go away."
"But I want you to," he loosened his fingers from his hair, dropping them to his lap.
You turned to him. "Don't push me away, Remus."
You reached for his hand, but he gently pulled them away. "Remus, please."
He shook his head, still not looking at you. 
"I need to know why you don't want me here."
He left your side, ambling to the parapet of the tower and leaning to it. You stared at his back in disbelief.
"Remus-"
"Go away, Y/N."
"You won't even look at my face when you kick me out."
Finally, he snapped his head and locked eyes with you. His eyes looked tired, blazing into yours. He had a new scar under his lower lip, from James's horns, probably.
"Go away."
You stood up, frowning in annoyance. "No, I'm not going anywhere," you took stern steps in his direction and closed the disturbing distance. "We need to talk, Remus."
You adored his amber eyes despite your annoyance. You loved to dive into its depth and get lost, sorting out every colour one by one.
He stayed where he was, but you detected his eyes lowering from your eyes. He stared at the cut above your cheek, clenching his jaw.
You unconsciously turned away and hid it from Remus. Memories flooded in a blink and raised the panic inside you. You could still feel the wind hitting your face and the sting from the branch that cut your skin as you fled for your life from the beast.
"It's nothing," you uttered.
Remus scoffed at your face. You saw his eyes change into something harsh and his brows furrow.
"Yeah, sure. The cut in your arm is also nothing."
You didn't ask how he knew that. After all, James did tell you that he would let Remus know everything.
"It'll heal."
"And why is it there in the first place?"
Remus took a step forward when you didn't answer.
What were you supposed to say? Because his wolf form chased you down, and you got injured trying to flee?
"I'll tell you why," he said, voice raised. "Because I hunted you down, tossed you to the ground, and yanked you around. I only did it so I could kill you."
"No–"
"Is that what you wanted to talk about? How I'm a bloodthirsty monster whose first instinct is to kill?"
"You weren't yourself."
"What would happen if James wasn't there?"
You pushed your lips together and closed your eyes. This was the last thing you wanted to talk about.
"No, open your eyes," he raised your head by your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. "Tell me what would've happened if James wasn't there."
You blinked away the tears that were threatening to invade your vision. Remus made you relive the same nightmare you had that night over and over again.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because I need you to understand! I need you to understand that I'm not someone you can fucking love!"
You startled in your place, both by his anger and claim. Something had burst into flames inside you now that he had finally acknowledged your feelings.
You opened your mouth to quarrel, to tell him he's wrong, and that you loved him more than anyone or anything in the world. But he didn't let you interrupt him.
"You think I haven't thought about what you said in the last two days? You haven't left my mind for even a bloody second!" his tone was raised but broken.
"You were the one pushing me away!"
"Because I wanted to keep you away from all this shit! I wanted you to see me as something other than a cursed boy. Why do you think I never shared that secret with you?!"
"That secret is part of your story, Remus. If you thought that I wouldn't love you with it, you must've been out of your mind."
You didn't think he understood the depth of your love for him, and you needed him to understand. It didn't even matter if your feelings were not returned.
He shook his head no.
"No one, Y/N, no one loves a monster like me."
"I do," you pleaded.
Words weren't enough to convince him or express your love for him, but you were trying.
He took your arm in his hand and pulled the left sleeve of your sweater up, revealing the gash. You tried to pull your arm back, but he overpowered you, tightening the hold on your arm. You grimaced when his fingers pushed on the scar.
"This is what happens when you love someone like me."
You used your whole strength and tugged your arm back. You marvelled at your tone when you spoke.
"Stop it! You weren't yourself, Remus!"
"How does that even change anything?!" he screamed, his voice breaking and his eyes tearing up. "Don't you understand? I am a danger to you!
"Remus–"
"You think this is easy for me?! I have fucking lost my mind these last two days because you were the only one in it! My brain wouldn't think of any name other than yours! My heart wouldn't beat for any name other than yours! And when I am finally ready to tell you that I love you, too, James comes and tells me that I almost fucking killed you!"
His eyes were blood red, and the veins in his neck had popped up. Tears left his red eyes and paved the way down from his jawline to his neck.
Remus was crying.
It was a sight you had never got used in the last five years.
Your mind refused to work, denying to comprehend the words that left his mouth. It was all too much, and all in one moment.
"You love me, too?'
You didn't recognise your own voice, probably because all you could hear was Remus's confession. You expected your heart to race this time also, but instead, it was dead silent. Or maybe you were just too focused on Remus's eyes.
His tears never stopped, and he never tried to stop them.
He was breaking down at last.
You walked up to him and closed whatever distance was left. You looked up into his eyes as he lowered them to you.
"But you didn't kill me," you whispered, bringing your hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes, raining more tears on your hand. You gently wiped them away.
"I'm here, Remus. I'm here, and I'm telling you that I love you. I don't love you despite your curse, I love you with it."
Remus scrunched up his face, letting out a sob before sinking his head down your shoulder. You felt his tears on your neck.
At that moment, you knew no words would ever soothe the storm in his heart.
So you held him as he bawled like a child.
His crying sent daggers to your heart, ripping it open.
You begged for his pain to become yours so that he would never hurt the way he was hurting now.
You didn't know how many minutes past. All you knew was Remus's sobs and whimpers hurt you like nothing else ever did.
You didn't let go when the heavy sobs turned into heavy sighs or when the tear-fall in your neck turned into warm breaths.
You caressed his hair and kissed his neck when he calmed down. When he talked, it was gritty and low.
"I'm a monster, dove. A monster that will tear you to pieces if you get near."
"I love you," you whispered. You felt him let a short, breathy scoff to the crook of your neck.
"I attacked Snape last night like a beast."
"I love you."
"I almost killed you."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
You shut your eyes, breaking your face into a tiny smile. Four words, one sentence, and his lips close to your neck was all you needed for revival.
Remus inched away from your neck, lingering his lips next to your wound. The red in his eyes hadn't worn off, but the brown of his eyes was blazing with affection.
You drew a sharp breath when he kissed above your cheek.
He caressed the nick lengthwise with tender pecks. His hand grazed your other cheek while the other one made its way to your waist.
You held your breath when he lowered his lips, hovering them above your lips. His hot breath tingled your face, you fought the urge to close your eyes.
He whispered your name, and that's when you gave in. You closed your eyes and unknowingly parted your lips.
One second lasted one year. 
Something flamed up down in your chest when you felt Remus's soft lips on yours. He kissed your lips gentle and soft, but short. Pulling back, he stared into your eyes, chestnut brown darkening with every second.
"I love you," he whispered.
Within a blink, his lips crashed into your lips again, this time more intense, more passionate, taking away the air in your lungs. You melted to his touch, letting his lips savour yours while his hand on your waist tugged you closer. Your breaths mingled together, leaving your heart fluttering in your ribcage.
If time had stopped and trapped you at this moment, you wouldn't complain.
You craved his scent on your soul, his touch on your body and his lips on your lips. But most importantly, you were more than glad to be buried in his love.
He pulled away and smiled at the way you filled your lung with air. You felt his thumb caress your face.
"There's no getting rid of me, now, dove." 
His smile was tired, his eyes still carrying the heartbreak of yesterday. You knew he was still a broken boy inside, but you loved him anyway.
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think!
if you enjoyed my writing and this fic, please, buy me a cofee <33
2K notes · View notes
arachine · 1 year
Text
— what's going on down there?: a dick analysis
Tumblr media
ᥫ᭡ featuring :: jake sully, miles quaritch & norm spellman
ᥫ᭡ includes :: their human forms + avatar forms
ᥫ᭡ genre :: mature
ᥫ᭡ content warnings :: talking about dicks obviously, explicit sexual content (?), humor lol
ᥫ᭡ note :: if you know anything about arachine, you know i love a good dick analysis. these posts are intended for comedic purposes only, which means they’re not to be taken seriously.
Tumblr media
— jake “ima slut you out” sully
. . . human form .*+!
⟳ length: as we all know, jake’s life on earth was very unfulfilling. he was a man who sacrificed his legs for the fate of the country, only to be disposed of into the unforgiving hands of society, with no way to reap the benefits (or lack thereof) that veterans were promised to receive. and after losing the privilege of mobility, his body changed drastically. he got smaller, his body got weaker, and yet, one thing remained—that dick! jake is a survivor, through and through—his personal motto is: if it ain’t broken, then it’s still working—and boy, he does not disappoint when it comes to the downstairs department. standing tall at 7 inches, is little jake (maybe not so little). when flaccid, his length measures at a solid 5.7 inches. definitely a grower. 
⟳ width: a little bit on the skinnier side, but he knows how to use it and that’s all that matters!
⟳ color: i think for the most part, his shaft definitely matches the rest of his body; though, i can see it maybe being slightly a little more darker at the base, like a very light beige. when he’s flaccid, his tip is a pretty pink, almost like a ballet slipper (aka the best pink). turns into an angry red when fully erect!
⟳ extra:
01. groomed?: jake pegs me as the kinda guy who doesn’t really care? i mean, trimming isn’t foreign to him, because he has trimmed it before, and does so when he notices it’s gotten to be too long…but, i don’t think it’s something that he does often. to him, it’s just hair. he’s on his grown man shit, you know? 
02. curved?: uhm, yes! you know that one beyoncé lyric? yeah. 
03. any veins?: absolutely covered in ‘em
04. how he fucks with it: i’d like to think before his accident, he was a doggy style connoisseur—come on, it’s jake we’re talking about here. can’t nobody tell me otherwise! i just know he had bitches bent over, weaves sweated out, makeup all over the pillows…mans was f-u-c-k-i-n-g okay? fuckingggg. 
. . . avatar form .*+!
⟳ length: the masses may attack me, but it’s time i spoke up. the man has a monster schlong. a cooter cat killer, if you will. if you thought his human form was big, shit, you ain’t seen nothing yet! completely flaccid, his cock measures to about 10 inches. when fully hard, he grows an additional three! talk about impressive…
⟳ width: so thick that it basically slaps his thighs when he walks. the man could create a beat with it, get em into the soundcloud business now!
⟳ color: self explanatory tbh, it’s fucking blue. as blue as papa smurf’s ass. 
⟳ extra: 
01. groomed?: i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that because he’s an avatar, he grows hair there. even if i’m wrong, i’m right. i don’t give a damn what james cameron says. he’s basically my character at this point, and i will him to have hair damnit! just…the idea of him having a full bush down there, in the wild, all primitive and shit…does something to me. idk. don’t ask me why i’m so nasty, blame my deadbeat father. 
02. curved?: is a banana yellow? there’s your answer. 
03. any veins?: i might have a brain aneurysm just thinking about it, but yes! god, yes. so many…so, so, so many. ribbed for her pleasure or whatever trojan said. 
04. how he fucks with it: is he still the doggy style connoisseur? yes. but now that’s got the strength of 20 men, backshots sound a whole lot like gunshots now. they say every time the mighty toruk makto thrusts into a cunt, a tree falls down or something. so, yes. fucks hard, fucks rough, fucks like he’s on a mission. what’s that one tik tok audio? “rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, i dive in her cervix.” yeah, he lives by that. 
Tumblr media
— miles “on your knees, cadet!” quaritch
. . . human form .*+!
⟳ length: just gonna cut right to the chase. he’s huge. like pussy splitting huge. i don’t care what anyone says, you can argue with ya friend, you can argue with ya mother, but you cannot argue with me! coming in at a solid 6 when flaccid, quaritch takes the cake for the biggest cock on this list (at least, human form wise). at full length, he measures to about 7.8 inches! 
‘booooo’ you say, well, guess what? it’s the truth, and i’m just the messenger. whether you hate him or love him, he’s just that guy. 
⟳ width: surprisingly average. but it’s okay, sometimes you can’t have the best of both worlds. 
⟳ color: if my memory serves me right, he was pretty tan in the first movie. so, i’m gonna stick with that and say that it’s a pretty tan that transitions into a pale pink. i don’t know if some of you have seen old dick, but their tips get less saturated with age. it’s a phenomenon (not really, the blood flow to the groin is just a lot slower, which can make it appear kind of gre—anyway, i digress!)
⟳ extra: 
01. groomed?: this man is a colonel, so he’s all about discipline and keeping things nice and tidy. so, obviously, his hygiene reflects that. i don’t think he goes completely bald, but he does give it a good trim. kind of like a fade…just imagine a patch of grey, prickly hair. yeah. 
02. curved?: yes, and since he’s older, it’s probably curved a lot. you could probably hang something on it. maybe a towel, or a lanyard. it’s definitely useful for something!
03. any veins?: god, i don’t know why, but i have it in my head that he’s on steroids. he’s just so buff and strong, and i mean, yeah, he could just be really fit…but he could also be a self-image obsessed freak who takes drugs to be the perfect soldier. the correlation, you ask? well, i just feel like people who take steroids are really veiny, and i feel like his dick would be really, really veiny. so, thus the rant about steroids. steroid dick. 
04. how he fucks with it: don’t let his age fool you. he may very well be pushing his late fifties, but he’s still a young man at heart—and he’s definitely got the sex drive to prove it! i can see his favorite position being something like missionary. not so much because he enjoys the intimacy of it (like being face to face), but more so because he’s got a size kink—and definitely a dacryphilia kink. he enjoys seeing his partners cry, whether in pain, or in pleasure, or both! so, when you’re fucking him, don’t expect anything romantic. he just wants to see your pretty little face all teary eyed and pathetic. 
. . . avatar form .*+!
⟳ length: so big you can see it from space; that’s how the RDA mfs know they’re close, because they can see the tip protruding from pandora. no, but seriously, it’s still really huge. like maybe 12-14 inches—maximum. 
⟳ width: probably twice as thick as a human’s forearm. and god, it’s sooooo heavy. big breeding balls to match. 
⟳ color: blue blue blue…like wet fun dip. with just as many stripes as the american flag or whatever. 
⟳ extra: 
01. groomed?: yes, but the hair is black instead of grey and it’s probably really straight because na’vi hair is straight as fuck. 
02. curved?: sir, yes sir. 
03. any veins?: what’d i say? steroid dick. but even worse (better) now bc he’s so damn tall, he needs all the blood he can get down there.
04. how he fucks with it: has you in all types of positions. his favorites are anything that shows off his new found strength, so i’m betting on full nelsons and mating presses. just fast, powerful strokes. lives by the motto: can’t stop, won’t stop.
Tumblr media
— norm “what’s the sq root of 69?” spellman
. . . human form .*+!
⟳ length: i’m sorry to disappoint the norm fuckers (if there are any), but he’s not that big. when he’s soft, his cock measures to about 4.8 inches, and at most, 6.2 inches when hard. 
⟳ width: skinny dick. 
⟳ color: dawg he’s so white, it’s like hella pale and the tip is so pink that when he’s aroused, it looks like there’s something wrong.
⟳ extra:
01. groomed?: like jake, i don’t think he really cares.
02. curved?: straight like a pencil
03. any veins?: like two, and they’re really prominent because he’s so fucking pale.
04. how he fucks with it: i don’t think human norm is getting puss, let’s be real. 
. . . avatar form .*+!
⟳ length: i am a firm believer in N.W.B.C—nerds with big cocks. it’s just the universe’s way of saying thank you, they just…they just do so much for us, you know? norm may not have been packing down there in his human form, but this was his second chance at redemption. he’s now a proud member of N.W.B.C, sporting an impressive 15 inches. you know that one scene in the first spider-man when pete’s looking at himself in the mirror and he looks inside his briefs? yeah, that was norm when he found out. the man got so excited, he accidentally catapulted a scientist out of pandora’s atmosphere with the weight of his cock. joking. 
⟳ width: on the skinnier side but still toe curling, nonetheless.
⟳ color: laffy taffy blue, with little (big) blueberry balls.
⟳ extra:
01. groomed?: no, he’s too busy in the lab and getting na’vi puss.
02. curved?: unfortunately no
03. any veins?: more than before, which he was pleasantly surprised to see.
04. how he fucks with it: norm’s got a big dick, but he acts so shy, like he’s scared of it or something. like stop playing boy and drop them drawls, the fuck? anyway, i think norm’s a sub. he pegs me as the type of guy who likes strong women, women who’ll tell him to shut the fuck up (because he talks so much) and eat their pussies. i guess this makes him a munch. yeah, he’s a munch. ice spice actually wrote that song with him in mind!
Tumblr media
© arachine 2023
3K notes · View notes
aislinrayne · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
[𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱]
𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: After a particularly rough case, Reader starts acting distant. Lockwood thinks giving her space will help. When he's woken by the phone ringing, George doesn't need to know what happened to know it's probably Lockwood's fault.
ℜ𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤: Mature/Explicit.
𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: Alcohol consumption, strong language, sexual content (second base with intent to go further), anxious avoidant Reader, Reader is shorter than Lockwood, drunk Reader, Reader is harassed at the bar, brief touch without consent, no use of y/n.
𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: Fuck I love playing with different kinds of dynamics. I've had this sitting partially drafted in my writing folder for a year now, and the brain-goblins wouldn't let me keep working on SM until this was done lmao Please let this be the year I finally get a handle on my creative flow fml
𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 6.1k
Tumblr media
    The first time the phone rings, both inhabitants of 35 Portland Row manage to remain deep in a well earned slumber.
  The second time the phone rings, it successfully rouses one George Karim.  Muttering a string of colourful insults under his breath that - had he been in his family home - would have earned him a smack over the head with his mother’s slipper, he reluctantly drags himself from the warmth and comfort of his duvet.  Letting out a long suffering sigh that lasts through the entire shuffle from his room to the phone on the floor below, he lifts it from the receiver and greets the caller with a noise somewhere between ‘hello’ and ‘fuck off’.
  “Evening, sorry to wake you.  This is James, calling from The Royal Oak.  Is there a, uh-”  Even over the numerous voices and the clinking of glass in the background, George can hear the gruff sounding man being interrupted by a woman’s voice mumbling incoherently before all sound is muffled by a palm being pressed over the mic on the other end, “-sorry, did you say…?  Really, sweetheart?  Alright, but don’t try to blame this on me tomorrow when you sober up.”  
  Then the phone is back to full volume. “Sorry about that, I’ve got a young lady here who says she lives at this address?  She’s too drunk to get herself home and this is the number she gave for someone she trusts to come get her.  But, uh, she-”  James seems like he’d rather not say the next bit, “well, she just keeps asking for ‘that selfish wanker’?  Won’t give me a name otherwise.”
  There’s not a lot in this world capable of rendering George completely speechless, but that…  That does it.  He allows the phone to drop from his ear for a moment, resting it on his shoulder as he attempts to compose himself and reply to the nice man on the other end of the line.
  “Uh…  Yeah, she- she’s ours.  Probably talking about our boss, then.  I’ll, uh…  I’ll go wake him.  I’m sure he’ll be there very soon.”  He has to speak up over the sound of James choking and sputtering in surprise to say a polite ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, before slamming the phone down and jogging up the stairs to wake his friend.  
  He pauses for a moment halfway up, considering heading back downstairs to grab a boot to throw at the door.  Unfortunately his need for immediate answers outweighs his urge to be petty, so he settles for pounding loudly on the door instead.   There’s quiet rustling and not so quiet cursing on the other side before it’s ripped open.
  “What?!”  A dishevelled Anthony Lockwood snaps, blinking sleep from glaring eyes and leaning on the doorframe in an endeavour to keep himself upright.
  “Just got a call from The Royal Oak, down on York Street?  Turns out they have a resident of this address drunkenly calling for a ‘selfish wanker’ to come pick her up.”  George crosses his arms, raising a challenging eyebrow at the taller man.  
  Lockwood’s expression shifts from its existing irritated frown into confusion, then straight to alarm.  He wastes no time flipping the light switch beside the doorway, bathing the room in light as he crosses it to tug one of his dresser drawers open.
  “Can you call me a Night Cab, please?  Offer them double fare to prioritise.”  He calls over his bare shoulder, searching for a t-shirt and hoodie to toss on.  His researcher says nothing as he complies, deciding to save the interrogation for later.
  Anthony is properly worried.     Their third roommate had come back from their last job acting distant.  They’d been separated by a pair of particularly nasty Spectre’s for close to an hour, but she’d succeeded in securing the Source’s and they’d all made it out in one piece.  He’d been so caught up in pride for his team he hadn’t noticed the effect it had on her until days later.  When he tried to approach her with his concerns, she clammed up and looked as though she was about to cry before excusing herself to her room.  None of the members of his agency, himself included, had seen her exit her room for two days after that.   He hadn’t asked about it since, and while giving her space seemed to be working by way of not making her cry, he was starting to wonder if it had been upsetting her in a different way.     Even taking all of that into consideration, there’s still no way he could have seen a phone call like this coming at 2:56 AM on a Tuesday.
  All he can find is a sleeveless black undershirt.  With a huff of frustration he pulls it over his head, kicking the drawer closed simultaneously, then pulling open the one above it.  The joggers he fell asleep in are fine enough, so after a fit of undignified hopping across the room to cover his feet with pink socks he grabs a random hoodie off of the armchair by the window, shrugs into it, and zips it on his way down the stairs.
  George is waiting for him at the bottom, staring at his watch.
  “Your cab should be here in three minutes, mine should be here in thirteen.”  He looks up from his wrist, meeting his boss’s confused look with an exasperated one.  “I’m heading to Flo’s for the night, so whatever you fucked up, mate?  Fix it.”  Karim claps him on the shoulder, walking past him to pack an overnight bag.  It might not be conventional, but Anthony knows it’s the closest thing to encouragement he’s going to get.
  The next several minutes pass in a blur of waiting and worrying, until finally it’s 3:14 AM and he’s slipping the cab driver an extra twenty quid to wait for them, swearing to be no longer than fifteen minutes.  The ungodly-early morning air is sharp and cold, cutting to the bone as soon as he steps out of the comforting warmth of the vehicle.  It’s plenty enough encouragement to hurry his way to the building, pulling the door open to slip into the soft golden warmth and loud ambiance of the pub.  
  He hesitates on the doormat, catching sight of the other patrons.  Thankfully it isn’t a particularly highbrow establishment, but it's nice enough for him to feel noticeably underdressed in black joggers and a grey zip-up.  And then he lays eyes on her, and all insecurities are immediately banished by the sharp knife of shock burying itself in his gut.  
  She’s balanced on a table, wearing a little black dress he’d never seen before.  Her arms are raised above her head, fingers combing through her hair as her hips sway to the bass of the music in a way that probably would have had his mouth watering if it wasn’t for present circumstances.   He isn’t the only one noticing her.  There’s a group of men standing around the table, watching her with hungry eyes that make his skin crawl with disgust.   A tall blonde man pushes his way past the rest of the crowd, deep set ice blue eyes chasing up her legs.  She seems to either be unaware of his presence, or too lost in the music to care.  Even from his position across the room he can see her eyes are out of focus, drifting away for split seconds every few beats from the speakers on the wall.     The man raises a hand and grabs her thigh, using enough pressure to leave visible fingermarks.
  Lockwood finds himself frozen in place, blood boiling as he mentally considers how challenging talking his way out of a murder charge could really be.  Surely not that much harder than talking his way out of an arson charge, and he’d done that often enough to be confident in his abilities.
  Before his sleep deprived mind can break free of its indecision, the girl spins around abruptly and slaps the lecherous limb away from her.  The slime of a man attached to it is none too happy about that, making a move to grab for her arm.  Her normally impeccable reflexes are slowed by the alcohol, she can’t move fast enough to avoid the attack.  When his fingers close around her wrist, he pulls.  Hard.     She teeters on the edge of the table, her short cry of pain audible even over the music.
  Huh.  He’d always thought the whole ‘seeing red’ thing was entirely turn of phrase, but as it turns out, there’s actually a modicum of truth to it.
  He’s halfway across the bar by the time he realises he’s in motion, but he’s not about to stop.  Closing the remaining distance in a few purposeful strides, he grabs the creep’s arm in a vice grip.  The blonde releases his hold on her immediately, instinctively trying to pull away from the pain.  Lockwood lets him stumble away in surprise, wasting no time placing himself in between his friend and the threat to her safety.  At first he’s optimistic he might have a chance to vent some anger when the wanker locks eyes with him, but whatever he’d seen in Anthony’s was enough to make him back down and stumble off with an insincere apology.  
  Reminding himself to focus his attention where it belongs, he turns to look up at the girl on the table.  Her face lights up with delight when she recognizes him, then swiftly sours the longer she looks at him.   He feels like an absolute prick for not noticing the dark circles around her eyes sooner.  Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he reaches up to offer her both of his hands, palms up.  She sways in place for a moment, scowling pensively at the proffered appendages.  He studies her face while he waits patiently, trying to find any hint of what could be bothering her enough to take this approach to forgetting.
  With a tiny hiccup she finally caves, placing her hands in his and allowing him to help her to solid ground.  Once both of her feet are securely on the sticky floor, he offers her his arm for support.  She gives him another little glare, but just like before, she eventually accepts his help.   Scanning the other tables and chairs around her makeshift stage, he sees no sign of a purse or jacket that he recognises in the slightest.
  “Did you bring anything with you, sweetheart?”  He asks her directly, leaning closer to her ear to be heard over the noise.  If he didn’t know any better he’d say she looks almost flustered; eyes glazed, cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink, looking through him rather than at him as she tries to filter his words through the haze of liquor clouding her mind.     Although he’s prepared to wait as long as it takes for her to answer, he can’t help but feel a touch relieved when the bartender waves him over holding a familiar leather clutch.  Gently taking her by the arm, he guides her to a nearby chair to sit and wait for him to collect her belongings.  Giving a final warning look to the remaining crowd for good measure, he leaves her side to approach the bar.
  The man behind it is average height, with mid length dark hair as well kept as his perfectly trimmed goatee.  He abandons the glass he’s polishing, tossing the white cloth he’d been using over his shoulder and offering Anthony a calloused hand.  “I take it you must be-”
  “‘That selfish wanker’?  Present and accounted for, though I also answer to ‘Anthony’.”  He replies, accepting the handshake.  
  The other man’s grip is firm but friendly, and he throws his head back in merriment at Lockwood’s unexpected introduction.  “James, pleasure to finally meet you.  I’ve heard a lot about you from your little Songbird over there.”
  Lockwood winces.  “Not all bad, hopefully.”
  “No, not all bad.”  James soothes before leaning in conspiratorially, “Just don’t tell her I said that.”
  He shoots him a wink as he settles back, and now it’s Anthony’s turn to laugh.  It’s decided then and there; they like each other.
  He reaches behind the lip of the bar, grabbing the clutch he’d tucked out of sight until he could determine Lockwood’s identity.  “This is all she brought with her.  You’ve got a safe way home?”
  Anthony takes it from him with a grateful smile.  “Yeah, paid the driver to stick around.  I consider myself pretty good at multitasking, just not ‘keeping her upright and not getting ghost-touched’ good.”  James lets loose a hearty laugh in response.
  The screech of wood against the floor draws their attention back to the woman formerly in the chair, now standing unsteadily a few feet away.
  “And that’s my cue.  Pleasure to meet you, James.  And, uh-”  He glances back at her involuntarily.  “Thank you.  For keeping an eye on her, calling us, the lot of it.”
  The bartender smirks, quirking an eyebrow and giving him a knowing look.  “It's what any decent person would do.  Don’t be a stranger now, either of you.”
  Lockwood departs the bar, clutch in hand, with a salute and a promise to be back another time.   She seems confused at first when he tries to get her attention, switching to stare at him reproachfully when she recognises him again.  He sighs, trying to tuck away his own feelings of exhaustion and defeat.  
  “Let's get you home, love.”  He murmurs, offering his arm again.  She takes it without hesitation this time, leaning heavily against him as they make their way to the exit.  Pausing on the doormat, he carefully extracts his limb from her grip, soothing her little noise of protest by assuring she’d be using him as a crutch again momentarily.  The metal of the zipper is cold against his bare arms as he shrugs his hoodie off, blatantly ignoring her attempts to argue with him and draping the grey fabric over her shoulders.
  The cold breeze cuts into him once they’re outside, but he carefully schools his expression to avoid showing her it's affecting him at all.  Despite having paid the man extra, he’s still pleasantly surprised to see the black cab still waiting at the curb.   It’s easier than he’d expected to load her into the comfortable back seat.  She doesn’t even try to swat his hand away when he places it on top of her head to prevent her bouncing it off the roof in her attempt to get in.   Once she’s scooted to the far side, he climbs in after her.  She seems lost in thought, staring absently at the headrest in front of her.  He leans closer slowly, giving her ample time to move away if she doesn’t want him in her space.  When she remains stationary, he reaches across her body to grab her seatbelt, gently buckling her in and tightening the belt over her hips.  
  She finally looks at him, expression blank as she studies his features.  It’s clear her mind is elsewhere, and she returns to staring at the black leather so quickly he wonders if he’d imagined the whole thing.   He gives their driver the all clear, directing him to drop them off where he’d first picked him up before slumping back into his seat for the uncomfortably quiet ride home.
  They’re half-way there when he can stand to ignore the elephant in the room no longer.  The words slip out before he can think of a more tactful way to ask;  “What’s going on with you?”
  She turns to look at him so slowly it’s almost unnerving. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  She answers bitterly, her voice laced with the same steel as her eyes.
  “That’s bloody horseshit!”  He scoffs, far too tired to hold back.  “If there was nothing wrong, I wouldn’t have gotten a call tonight.”
  Her mouth opens and closes soundlessly for several seconds, seemingly overwhelmed by the number colourful insults she’d like to hurl at him.  
  “Like you care.”  She finally mutters, shaking her head and turning away from him to stare pointedly out her window.
  “...What?”  He manages to put his frustration on hold for a moment, making room for his growing concern.  “Of course I care, what makes you think I wouldn’t?”
  She laughs darkly, shaking her head.  “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”
  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”  He cries in exasperation.
  She whips around to face him.  “You knew I was struggling!  You knew, and you ignored it because it was easier than dealing with me!”  Her eyes are wild, chest heaving as she draws in air like she has to fight for every breath.
  All hostility drains out of him in an instant, leaving him uncomfortably hollow in its absence.  He’s intimately aware of her eyes searching his face, trying to gain some kind of insight into his mind.     He feels like he’s just stumbled into a minefield, and in a way he has.  If his next words aren’t carefully chosen, he could detonate one and destroy his friendship with someone he can’t live without.
  Organising his thoughts and taking a deep breath, he plunges ahead.
  “I’m sorry.  I thought by giving you space I was giving you what you needed, but I should have just talked to you.  And you’re right, I was being selfish, just… not in the way you’re thinking.”  She looks like she’s about to interrupt, but he ploughs on.  “I was afraid if I pushed too hard you’d shut me out.  I thought it would be safer to stay silent and let you come to me when you were ready, but it was my responsibility to communicate that to you, and I failed.”
  They sit in stillness for far longer than he’s comfortable with, his words hanging in the air between them.
  When she finally puts him out of his misery, he has to strain to hear her over the rumble of the car.  “It wasn’t two Spectres.”
  It feels like someone’s poured ice down his back.  “...What?”
  “The last job?  We thought it was just two Spectres, but it wasn’t.  It-”  Her voice shakes, then dies.  She has to stop and breathe, looking like she’s about to be crushed by the weight of the words on her tongue.  “One of them was a Fetch.”
  Staring down at his hands, he searches for the right words to say.  Is he supposed to say anything at all?  If he interrupts now, will she shut him out?  If he doesn’t, will she think he doesn’t care?     A point of personal pride for him is being able to read people, to shape himself into whatever role they need him to fill, but… he has no idea who she needs him to be right now.  
  She hesitantly continues.  “It was you.”  
  He looks up at her only to find her eyes already on him.  “It wasn’t.”
  She laughs sadly, but doesn’t look away.  When she tips her head to concede the point, the light catches at the corner of her eye.  “Right.  It did use your face, though.”
  “Whatever it said, it isn’t true.”  He can’t resist the urge to reach across the seat between them, wiping the tear from her cheek and hoping she can feel the truth in his words when he says;  “A Fetch will find your worst fear and exploit it.  And I swear to you, I will never allow anything to make you feel afraid like this again.”
  Silence stretches on between them, becoming heavier with every second passing them by.  His thumb continues stroking her face slowly, absentmindedly.  If he didn’t know any better, he’d think her eyes had drifted to his lips. 
  “Kiss me.”
  His hand falls from her face.   For a second, he thinks it’s him that’s said it.  When he realises it wasn’t, the potential implications of her words make his heart stutter.  There’s a chance this is just a drunken impulse, a need for comfort in a moment of vulnerability.   If it is, what the hell is he supposed to do about it?  If he gives in to her, will he be able to carry on working beside her once he’s had a taste of the life with her he doesn’t even allow himself to dream about?   On the flip side, there’s a chance that this is an actual confession.  The Fetch had chosen his face to torment her, and as horrifying as that had been to hear, it only would have done so if she felt something for him.  Maybe she feels the same as he does.  Maybe the reason he can never figure out what mask to put on for her, is that she’s only ever needed him to be himself.     Hope fills every inch of him as he stares at her, enraptured.
  Then, he realises he’s been quiet for long enough for panic to fill her eyes.
  “Ask me in the morning.”  He breathes, feeling as perplexed as she looks when the words come out of his mouth.  She’s confused that he hasn’t directly shot her down.  He’s confused that he’s capable of this kind of restraint while sleep deprived.
  “What?”  She frowns, blinking as her eyes lose focus for a split second in her bewilderment. 
  Feeling more confident in his decision, he smiles softly at her. “Ask me when you’re sober, and when we’re not in this nice man’s cab.” 
  The driver laughs, trying and failing to cover it with a guilty cough.
  Once they reach 35 Portland Row,  Anthony covers the fare and slips the man a generous tip for enduring their antics before exiting the cab.  The emotional intensity of the ride home had been enough to partially sober up his companion, but he still isn’t sold on her ability to climb stairs without assistance.     He keeps his arm wrapped tightly around her waist until they reach the door of her room - formerly Lucy’s - on the top level of the house before reluctantly removing it.  She wobbles for a moment, but it seems to be more from her leaning to chase his touch than any serious instability.  They stand there for a while, neither willing to walk away from the other, until a large yawn overtakes her.
  He chuckles, suddenly remembering James’ nickname for her.  “Goodnight, Songbird.”
  “That’s a stupid nickname.”  She complains, scrunching up her face in distaste.  When all he does is laugh some more, she sighs and carries on.  “Goodnight, Anthony.  Sweet dreams.”
  He disagrees completely, of course.  From her lips, his name is the sweetest song he’s ever heard.   Turning away from him, she places her hand on the doorknob but doesn’t make any move to twist it.  He’s about to ask her if something is wrong when she turns back to him swiftly, closing the distance between them and standing on her toes to brace her hands on his shoulders as she presses the ghost of a kiss against his cheek.  By the time he’s raised trembling fingers to the tingling skin, she’s already in her room with the door closed behind her.
  He spends his early morning dreaming of the flutter of wings, and birds gently pecking him on the cheek.
Tumblr media
  When he’s woken by persistent knocking on his door once more, Anthony Lockwood finds himself wondering what precisely he had done to piss off Hypnos in a past life.
  Still on high alert from his unusual evening, he’s out of bed and across the room without a second thought.  When he pulls the door open he’s entirely expecting another emergency, not to find the girl of his dreams standing there staring steadfast at her feet.
  “I am so sorry about last night, I should have told you what was going on instead of going on a bloody bender.  That was incredibly immature and irresponsible of me and I completely understand if you want to fire me.”  She starts slow, but by the end of her apology the words are flying out of her mouth.  Despite her best efforts, the misery in her voice as she says the last bit is tangible.
  Why would he want that?  Still not entirely awake, the first thing out of his mouth is the first thought in his mind.  “Please don’t leave.”
  “...What?”  Not even remotely prepared for that response, she finally looks up at him.  As their eyes meet, reality sets in and time seems to slow.
  When he takes a proper look at her, he completely forgets the entirety of the English language.  Her hair is mussed from sleep, remnants of last night's makeup smudged under her eyes.  She’d apparently had the mental faculties to change into her pyjamas the night previous, and while he’d seen her in those shorts often enough to control the urge to stare, something about her wearing his hoodie zipped over them was making him feel like a moron.  He’d never seen anyone more beautiful in his life.   On the other side of the doorway, she’s having a very similar crisis.  His sleep tousled hair only doubled her ever present urge to rake her fingers through it.  And not only had he been in such a hurry to answer the door he hadn’t bothered to slip on a shirt, his joggers were also sitting dangerously low on his hips.     Their eyes snap back to each other's faces in tandem, both flushing almost comical shades of red.
  “Did you mean what you said last night?”  He asks hurriedly, heart pounding in his throat.
  “I said a lot of things.”  She wraps her arms around herself, laughing nervously.  “Which part?”  
  He keeps his eyes fixed on hers, searching them for some clue to tell him what comes next.
  Mustering more courage than she thought she was capable of, she answers honestly.  “Yeah, I did.  Every word.”
  Mimicking his actions from the night before he extends both of his hands towards her, palms up.   She tilts her head quizzically, but places her hands in his.  He uses them to pull her close enough their bodies are almost touching, guiding her arms to rest on his shoulders, releasing them to place one hand on her waist and the other on the side of her neck.  She inhales sharply when he leans in, his thumb lightly stroking her jaw while her gaze flickers between his eyes and lips.   He’s studying her face like he never wants to forget a single detail, but he doesn’t get any closer.  She’s lightheaded and pretty sure she’s going to die if he doesn’t kiss her soon, which is probably why it’s not until she sees the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile that she realises what he’s waiting for.  
  “Kiss me.”  She breathes.
  He doesn’t need to be told a third time.   He leans down and kisses her like he’ll never get the chance to do so again, like the world is falling to pieces around them and the only thing that can save them is the feeling of her lips against his.     The hand on the side of her throat slides back to bury itself in her hair, cradling the back of her head to take the strain off her neck from their notable difference in height.  Her hands wander the expanse of bare skin across his back, mapping every muscle and scar like it’s the braille translation of his life story.  He shivers under her touch, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her body tight to his in a desperate attempt to fill the yawning pit within him that had grown larger with every day he believed he’d never get to hold her like this.  
  As she runs her hands down his sides to his hips he gasps involuntarily, deepening their kiss with enthusiasm.  Driven by curiosity, she lets her nails graze his skin as she retraces her previous path.  The noise he makes in response is downright sinful, but so is the feeling of his rapier-calloused skin against her back as he slips his hand under the hem of his hoodie.  Her breath catches as his fingers trace featherlight patterns up and down her spine, feeling him grinning between kisses when he notices she’s not wearing anything beneath the grey material.  When he nips at her lower lip, she drags her nails down his back, and the last of his restraint abandons him.  
  Both of his hands drop, fingers dimpling the flesh of her upper thighs.  As in sync as they are in the field he’d never dared to imagine the same would apply to the bedroom, so he’s a little blown away when she understands his intentions immediately, jumping as he lifts her up to wrap her legs around his hips without breaking from each other.  Now he’s the one craning his neck to capture her lips, the floor creaking beneath his feet as he crosses the short distance to the wall, pressing her back against it and groaning at the restrained whimper that slips free from her.
  “Please don’t hold back.  I want to hear you sing for me, my little Songbird.”  He urges, adjusting his grip to slide his hands up her sides under his hoodie, palming one of her breasts and swiping a thumb experimentally across her skin to carefully catch one of her nipples between his thumb and the side of his forefinger.  She finally breaks, back arching away from the wall, head falling back against it as she moans unabashedly.  All of his strength threatens to leave him when she rolls her hips against his, dropping his free hand to grab at the plush of her ass and pull her impossibly closer as he whispers praise between frenzied kisses pressed to her throat.  She buries her hands in his hair, gasping for air as his ministrations travel to her collarbones then slowly down the centre of her chest, placing an open-mouthed kiss to swell of her breast-
  The front door slams open, startling them apart.  There’s the sound of shuffling beneath them as someone kicks off their shoes.
  “OI, MATE!”  George’s voice calls from the base of the stairs, “Did you fix it?”
  They look at each other, dazed and drunk off each other.  A confused frown decorates her features, mouth falling open to ask him what the hell their other roommate is talking about.  He shakes his head in exasperation, shooting her a look that reads ‘I’ll fill you in later’ and dropping his head to rest on her chest.  They take as many seconds as they dare like that, her fingers combing through his hair soothingly as he wraps his arms around her back, basking in the warmth of her body against his.  Reluctantly, he lifts his head and steps away from the wall, gently setting her back on her feet and pressing a kiss to her temple.  She seems hesitant to move away from him at all, back to staring at her feet instead of looking at him.  He’s known her for long enough to know she’s overthinking.
  “Hey, look at me.”  He slips his fingers beneath her chin, gently lifting her face to meet his concerned gaze.  “What’s on your mind, darling?”  
  “I don’t-”  She starts strong but stops suddenly, shifting anxiously.  “I really don’t want this to be a one time thing, or - or just a way to blow off steam-”
  He lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, cradling her face and pressing a brief but searing kiss against her lips.  She softens, melting into his touch.
  “Good,” He murmurs as he pulls away, tucking her hair behind her ear and giving her a peck on the cheek like the one she’d given him the night before, “because I don’t think I can survive another day of not being able to kiss you.”
  George chooses that moment to begin his ascent of the stairs.  They break away from each other, struggling to make themselves presentable before he makes it to the landing.  Anthony rushes to grab a shirt from the foot of the bed, throwing it over his head haphazardly  She squeaks when she finds the zipper of his hoodie down to her navel, shooting him a teasingly chastising look when he snickers and crosses past her to greet their researcher in the hall, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it.  She yanks the zip as high as it will go, trying to smooth her own hair as she approaches the bookshelf and grabs something at random.  She throws herself into the armchair in the corner of his room just in time, flipping the book open to roughly the halfway point and staring intently at the page as George reaches the top step.
  “Good morning!”  Anthony greets him far too cheerfully, leaning against the doorframe in an attempt to obscure the other man’s view of his room.  
  “...Morning.”  George replies, not even trying to disguise his attempts to peer around his boss.  “How’d it go last night?”  
  “Um - fine!  Yeah, just fine.  Perfectly fine.  Everything is… fine.”  She closes her eyes, letting out a slow quiet sigh at his obvious nerves.  
  Adjusting the book to make sure it’s in his line of sight, she grits her teeth and bites the bullet.  “Morning, Georgie!”  
  Lockwood looks over his shoulder at her in alarm, but at her reassuring nod he steps hesitantly out of the way so she’s in clear view.
  George inspects her with narrowed eyes.  “You are significantly less hungover than I’d expected.”
  She winces, not able to fault him in the slightest for the disappointment in his voice.  “Yeah, pretty sure it just hasn’t hit me yet.  Sorry about that.  It won’t happen again, Scouts Honour.”
  “Why are you in Lockwood’s room?”  His brow furrows almost imperceptibly.
  She doesn’t miss a beat.  “I was so drunk last night he was worried I was going to fall asleep on my back and choke on my own vomit, so he made me sleep in this ridiculously uncomfortable chair.”
  Both men fix their eyes on her.  Anthony looks horrified, while George looks strangely impressed.  The bespectacled man studies her for another moment and she holds her breath, hoping he’d bought it.  Shrugging a ‘fair enough’, he bids them a temporary farewell and walks into his own room, closing the door behind him.  
  She huffs a sigh of relief, closing her eyes and slumping back in the chair as the tension drains from her body.  When she cracks an eye a few long moments later, Anthony is still standing in the doorway with the same look of horror plastered across his face.
  “What’s wrong?”  She asks, worry laced in every syllable.  
  “I didn’t even think of that!  I could have let you die!”  He seethes, throwing his hands up in annoyance at himself.  
  She has to fight the urge to laugh at him, focusing instead on gathering her strength to stand and walk over to take his hands in her own.  
  “I appreciate the concern, my love, but I wasn’t that drunk by the time you got me home.”  She smiles fondly at him, lifting his hands to press soft kisses to each knuckle.  When she glances up at him even his ears are flushed pink, looking at her with a lovesick smile.  
  “Call me that again?”  He implores, pulling her against him.
  With a quiet laugh, she drapes her arms over his shoulders before replying.  “My love.”
  They lose themselves in each other for another several minutes, only parting grudgingly at the rumble of his stomach and the threat of another interruption.
  George waits until later that morning when Lucy, Kipps, and Holly have joined them and they’re all in the kitchen eating breakfast to comment on Anthony’s inside out shirt, and how impressed he is that the sixth member of their agency has learned to read upside down.   As Lucy slowly turns to look at them, eyes wide and jaw seemingly aiming to touch the floor, Anthony lets the red-faced young woman beside him hide her blush in his shoulder.  For some reason, he can’t even bring himself to be annoyed.  Grinning proudly, he winks at the Listener, causing her to shriek loudly and demand to know the full story.
  When his girlfriend looks up to shoot him a warning look, he mimics zipping his lips.  “Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, Luce.”
Tumblr media
  Lucy’s demands are finally met five years later when James taps the side of his champagne flute with his knife, drawing the attention of the room full of guests to tell his favourite story about the bride and groom.
⤛⊹ 𝔣𝔦𝔫 ⊹⤜
Tumblr media
taglist: @tessas4 @chloejaniceeee @shakespearseclipse @ettadear @kassandra1000
𝔉𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱, 𝔱𝔞𝔭 [𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢]
206 notes · View notes
duckybarnes1917 · 1 year
Text
Forbidden Fruit (DBF! Bucky x F!Reader)
18+ ONLY.
Tumblr media
Summary: Bucky knows he shouldn't want this, but he can't resist taking a bite.
Warnings: plot what plot? smut, age gap (undefined), unprotected sex, daddy kink, Bucky's dirty mouth. The only physical description is the reader having a small tattoo, if you don't have one, pretend it's fake.
Word count: 4900
A/N: NO ONE LOOK AT ME. I am that Paul Rudd meme. Who woulda thought?
Guilt. That’s what Bucky felt every time he looked at you. His neighbor’s daughter that he had only found out about two weeks ago. Everything had been going so well. His new house in the suburbs was shaping up nicely, thanks to Sam and Clint’s help. He had made the move to help himself find some inner peace. It was working; he slept better; he ate better, he even got a cat and started doing yoga every morning. He made friends with his neighbors. Ms. Rose was an elderly (though still technically younger than him) widow who lived across the street. She brought him muffins every Sunday morning. Mark and Angela lived to the left of him. They were newlyweds and spent most of their evenings in the backyard getting high and laughing at everything the other said. Bucky thought they were sweet. And to his right, that’s where your dad lived. A single man who appeared to be about the same age as Bucky. He did something in finance and had to take a train to the city every day. He was nice enough and since they were both alone in their big houses, they became friends. Shared beers and sports games, Bucky would come over to meet his work friends now and then. But all of this, all of Bucky’s hard work, washed down the drain the second he saw you running down his sidewalk.
He had just finished his morning yoga and was about to sit down for a nice muffin and some coffee when he heard a scream. He dashed to his front window and saw a big black dog charging down the sidewalk, it’s leash flopping along behind it. And then there was you, sweaty and bleeding, and chasing this beast like your life depended on it.
Bucky opened the door and called to the dog in German. It immediately stopped and dropped its head, slowly walking up Bucky’s driveway to sit at his feet.
“How—how did you do that?!” You huffed, your hand holding your side.
“This is Bert, he belongs to Greta a few houses down… he only understands German.”
You sent an annoyed glare toward Greta’s house. “Well, that would have been nice to know before I took him on a walk.”
Bucky chuckled, “dog sitter?”
“Not really. I’m just helping her out for a few weeks while I’m in town.”
Bucky deflated a bit. You were temporary. But even so, you were standing in his driveway with a nasty cut on your knee.
“I can fix that–if you want.”
You looked down as if you hadn’t realized you were bleeding and quickly nodded. “Please.”
“I’m James, but you can call me Bucky.”
When you introduced yourself as you walked past him into the house, your name tickled something in his brain. He wanted you.
“The bathroom is right around the corner.”
Bucky followed, keeping his distance, as not to breathe down your neck. And also to check you out. It had been a while–he had needs. That’s what he told himself as he struggled to tear his eyes away from the backs of your thighs.
You walked into the small bathroom and turned to him. The sudden hesitancy on your face made him take a step back.
“You can just show me where your first aid kit is…”
Bucky nodded and stepped into the bathroom with you; you stumbled back a bit when he knelt in front of the cabinet. “Here you go. Are you sure you don’t need a helping hand?”
Bucky remained on his knees, offering the first aid kit to you. But you didn’t take it. You stared into his impossibly blue eyes and squeaked out an intelligible answer.
“Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t quite catch that.” Bucky stood up to his full height and enjoyed the way your head tilted back to maintain eye contact with him.
“Help. Please.”
Bucky smiled and patted the counter. You understood and jumped up onto it.
“Let’s see here…” Bucky cradled your calf as he lifted your leg. He rested your foot on his thigh as he got to work on your bloodied knee.
It was just a scrape, but he took his time, enjoying the way the bend of your knee offered him a lovely view. He was so lost in looking at your legs in your short shorts he didn’t notice the way your demeanor had changed.
The look of desperation in his eyes bolstered your confidence. Yes, you had been nervous. He was hot, incredibly hot. And intense. His presence had overwhelmed you, made you so desperate for him you couldn’t think straight. But now–as you watched him unabashedly stare at the bit of white lace you knew he could see up your shorts–you knew you could take him.
As he reluctantly moved on to the scrape on your elbow, you admired his weathered face. He was talking about something, but you weren’t paying attention. You noticed the cute crinkles around his eyes when he laughed, though. The salt and pepper beard, the smoothness of his pink lips, and he smelled good too. Like sandalwood and something spicy. As your eyes moved lower, you noticed the bob of his adam’s apple as he spoke, the little freckles on his neck that you wanted to bite, and lower, the muscles under his shirt… and it was only then that you noticed his arm.
“Holy shit… you’re… you’re Bucky, Bucky?!” 
Bucky straightened up, looking a little worried. “Is that a problem?”
“No! I just can’t believe I didn’t recognize you until now. Fuck, you’re even hotter in person.”
Bucky’s smirk made your cheeks blaze. You hadn’t intended for that thought to come out of your mouth. But he was moving to stand between your legs, his lips inching nearer, so you weren’t about to beat yourself up over it.
“So you’re saying you weren’t driving me crazy because you knew who I was? Just because you think I’m hot?”
“Driving you crazy?” You whispered, trying your best to remain still while his nose grazed over your cheek on its path to your ear.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what you’re doing to me, sweetheart.” His voice was gravel in your ear, a chill shooting down your spine. “Besides, I can smell you.”
“Fuck me,” you breathed out and his lips instantly attached to your pulse point.
“With pleasure, kitten.”
“That was–” you were trying to explain to him you hadn’t meant it literally, but his tongue was very distracting, as were his hands, which were sliding up your little shorts to grasp your ass. “Oh god, I don’t even know you.” Your hands tangled in his hair and you brought his lips to yours.
Just as a pathetic moan was leaving your throat, your ringtone blared through the bathroom, making you both jump.
“Sorry, sorry, just let me turn it off.” You scrambled for your phone, accidentally dropping it on the floor.
“Got it, sweetheart.” Bucky bent down to pick up your phone and froze when he saw the picture on the screen.
It was a photo of you and his friend, his neighbor… and the name on the phone said ‘dad.’
“This–he’s your–fuck.” Bucky handed you the phone and stalked out of the bathroom, nearly tripping over Bert, who had fallen asleep outside the door.
“Wait! I’m not answering it. Where are you going?!”
You scrambled after Bucky, trying to keep up with his long strides and not get distracted by the way his ass looked in his gray joggers.
“You gotta go,” Bucky said emotionlessly as he opened the front door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“Fuck, how old are you?”
Your brows furrowed, confused at his sudden change in demeanor. “Old enough to fuck a stranger in their bathroom. What the fuck, Bucky?”
“I’m friends with your dad, okay? We can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
You stared at him dumbfounded for a moment, before shrugging and walking past him. “Your loss, Buck. Come on, Bert, let’s go. I have some energy to work off now.”
As you and Bert walked down the sidewalk toward the park, you felt Bucky’s eyes glued to you the entire way.
The guilt only lasted so long. The universe forbid you from him. Made you off limits. So fucking young. He should have never touched you. Not because it was wrong, but because now the feel of you had burned into his memory. It came to him every goddamn night when he tried to sleep. And every goddamn morning when he inevitably woke up hard from his increasingly filthy dreams.
Avoiding you proved to be impossible. As hard as Bucky tried, you were always just there. He tried to relax in his backyard and there you were, swimming lazily in your dad’s pool. When he tried to go to the park, you were laying in the sun or running laps. The day he was across the street, helping Ms. Rose in her garden, was when he realized you were fucking with him.
He was minding his own business, having a lovely conversation with his elderly neighbor, when suddenly you appeared in your dad’s driveway. A little white bikini top and cutoff denim shorts were the only thing you wore. Bucky swallowed hard. The beads of sweat running down his neck were no longer just from the scorching sun. He thought maybe you were going to lie out. But no, it was worse. So much worse. You walked to the side of the house and bent over as you turned on the water house.
“No,” Bucky whispered to himself, his eyes wide as he watched you spray the hood of your little sports car.
Ms. Rose was oblivious, talking even though Bucky was clearly not paying attention anymore. His eyes watched every move you made. He swore he was dreaming. There was no way you just squeezed your sponge over yourself, but you must have, because Bucky was watching the soapy water seep through your now sheer top, and trail down your legs. When you bent over on your tiptoes to cleanse the back window of your car, he knew he hadn’t imagined the flirty looks you had been giving him throughout the week. You still wanted him. And goddamn, he wanted you more than anything. Just as his cock was urging him to get up and go do something about the way you were displaying yourself for him, your dad pulled up in the driveway.
“Fucking shit,” Bucky muttered, spinning away from you and focusing on the garden he was supposed to be attending to.
What worried him now was the complete absence of guilt he felt. He should be ashamed. Horrified at his behavior and thoughts. But the more he tried to tell himself that you were forbidden fruit, the more he wanted to take a damn bite.
**
He stayed confined to his house for the next two days. Curtains shut to avoid the temptation of peeking into your backyard. Your dad–his friend, kept texting, asking him to hangout and Bucky felt horrible ignoring the messages. But he couldn’t do it, not until you were gone. He thought about going to visit Sam and Clint in the city for the next week, just until you went back to wherever you had come from. But that would be too pathetic. He just needed a distraction, something to help him stop thinking about your ass in those little shorts, the water dripping between your breasts…
Bucky’s ringtone brought him back to the present, and he yanked his hand out of his shorts, cursing himself for losing control yet again. It was your dad. He sighed, pulling his large hand down his face as he answered the phone, trying to sound as normal as possible.
“Buck! I was worried you wouldn’t answer!”
“Yeah, sorry, been busy.”
“Are you coming tonight?”
Bucky was silent, trying to remember what he could be referencing.
“The game is tonight; my daughter went out with some friends, so I invited the usual gang over. Thought you’d bring that beer we all like.”
Bucky’s heart sank a little at the news that you wouldn’t be there, but maybe that was a good thing. “Sure, sure, I’ll come over soon.”
Bucky hung up the phone and looked down at his lap… first a cold shower, then the party.
**
The night air was crisp, and cool as you wandered through your large backyard. You were still a little tipsy from the night out with your friends, but your vision was clear enough to spot Bucky leaning against the fence talking to some of your dad’s friends. He was a vision in his French blue t-shirt and pants; his beard was scruffy with spots of gray, his hair fluffy and just untamed enough to make you imagine your fingers in it. When he laughed, his nose scrunched, and his head tossed back just a little. Was he a god? Apollo himself, here to bring you the sun? You didn’t even realize your feet were carrying you in his direction until he caught your eye. The look of panic on his face made you stop where you were, a few feet away. He mumbled excuses and avoided your eye as he made a quick exit, heading for the gate on the side of the house.
Determined to get what you knew you both wanted, you took a deep breath for courage and chased after him, glad everyone appeared too drunk to pay attention to you.
Once in the dark shadows and hidden on the side of the house, you called his name. He froze, his hand on the gate, likely debating if he would run or answer your call.
“You’re being very rude, you know.”
He still didn’t move.
“Can I at least thank you for your help the other day?”
His shoulders tensed. “You weren’t supposed to be here.”
“Well, I am.”
Bucky turned around then, inhaling sharply as his eyes roved over you. “You don’t need to thank me.”
“Oh, but I have so many ways I could say thank you.”
He took a step closer, and you pressed your back against the brick of the house. Heat prickled over your skin as he advanced on you, nearly touching you now.
“Don’t you wanna hear your options?” You whispered, eyes flicking between his pretty lips and his even prettier eyes.
“We can’t,” Bucky swallowed.
“But I’ll be real good for you, I promise. Let you do whatever you want.”
“Christ,” Bucky muttered, inching even closer, his thigh slotting between your legs.
“Touch me,” you whispered, afraid you’d scare him away.
His fingers trailed up your thigh so lightly you barely felt them. Bucky stopped at the hem of your dress and you were about to complain when he pressed his hips against you, his prominent erection digging into your hip.
“Oh god, I wanna suck your cock so bad, daddy. Please, please let me.”
Bucky closed his eyes, just barely rutting against you. The veins in his neck were strained as he tried to remain in control.
“God dammit, we can’t. It’s wrong.”
“You keep saying that.” Your hands skimmed up his broad chest and over his shoulders. “I think it turns you on.”
Bucky shook his head, and you pulled him closer so you could whisper in his ear. “I think your cock gets hard every time you think about how you’re not supposed to fuck me.”
“You drive me fucking crazy,” Bucky breathed against your neck, his fingers digging into your thighs. “You’re all I think about. I want to ruin you, claim every piece of you with my fingers, and my tongue, god I wanna taste you so bad.”
“Please, daddy.”
His cock throbbed against you. “Stop, you gotta stop calling me that, kitten.” Bucky pushed away from you, still caging you in against the brick. “I’m serious. We can’t do this. I’m trying to be a decent guy here.”
You weren’t listening, and Bucky’s eyes trailed down your body to where your hand had slipped under your dress. Before he could say anything, you held two glistening fingers in his face, taunting.
“Just a taste.” You gently swiped your fingers over his plush bottom lip and his eyes went so dark you were almost afraid.
And then he was gone; disappearing so quickly that he was a blur in the night.
**
Bucky couldn’t breathe. He literally held his breath for as long as he could to avoid inhaling your sweet scent. He nearly broke his backdoor down trying to hurry and get inside.
“Fuck!” He shouted as finally got the door to open and he stumbled inside, drunk with lust.
His cock was so hard, he was already unbuttoning his pants and yanking the zipper down as he hurried through his kitchen. He just had to make it upstairs, but the temptation on his lips was too much, his clothes were suffocating, he need to fucking come. He braced himself on the wall by the stairs, his right hand quickly pulling his heavy cock out and pumping it with speed and efficiency. He was already so close; it was not a time for teasing. He got off on the smell of you on his lips, the feel of you pressed against him earlier that night, the dirty things you had promised–god he was an idiot, he could have you on your knees right now. He could hardly remember the last time he had a hot little mouth wrapped around him.
He cursed under his breath, fumbling for a tissue as his balls tightened and he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, coming hard as the taste of you exploded in his mouth.
**
Bucky had reached his limit. He was done. Today was the day he was going to ruin you. He decided this as he watched you over his fence. You were lounging by your pool, completely nude, and posed to tease the fuck out of him. One leg was bent at the knee, blocking his view of your cunt. His eyes trailed up the length of your body, only to be disappointed that your book was blocking his view of your tits. But he zeroed in on the bit of side boob he could see, licking his lips as he imagined kissing the little heart tattoo he didn’t know you had there.
He cleared his throat, and you lifted your gaze to smile at him.
“Oh hello, looking for my dad?”
Bucky’s gaze darkened. “Over here. Now.”
You froze, and Bucky wondered if you really thought he could resist you forever.
“Now, kitten.”
You nodded, turning to grab your sundress before quickly making your way to his side of the fence.
“You didn’t need to bother with the dress.” Bucky grabbed the back of your neck and pulled your lips to his.
Finally.
Fucking finally.
His tongue invaded your mouth aggressively, making up for lost time. You gasped when he nipped at your bottom lip, his frustrations spilling out. He pulled back enough to look you in the eye, both of your breaths ragged.
You opened your mouth, probably to say something cocky. But Bucky silenced you by pushing softly but firmly on your shoulders. You dropped to your knees so fast that Bucky chuckled.
“Eager?”
You already had his fly open, your tongue pressed against the wet spot his cock had made in his underwear, and he shuddered.
“And you aren’t?”
“No teasing.”
You answered by pulling his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock. It was thick and curved, his pink tip begging to be sucked.
“Holy–fuck,” Bucky dragged out the last word, reaching for the fence for support as you took him into your throat.
It had been so long since he had experienced this. While he longed for your pussy, this was different… looking down at you on your knees for him–lips wrapped tight and your tongue moving so perfectly–he wouldn’t last.
He should have taken you inside. Now he had to be quiet, had to contain the moans and gasps he wanted to let out every time you took him deeper.
“Sweetheart,” Bucky groaned as your nose pressed against his pelvis. “Wanna fuck your face, sweetheart.”
You moaned, and his dick throbbed in tune with his rapid heartbeat. But as he wrapped his vibranium hand in your hair, prepping himself to come down your throat, your backdoor opened and shut loudly.
“Shit,” Bucky cursed as your dad stepped out onto the patio and waved at him. He nudged your shoulder, and you pulled back, keeping his tip in your mouth.
Bucky gave you a warning look as your dad approached the fence.
He should have known better. As soon as he started talking to your dad, trying to get rid of him, your hot mouth slid down his cock again, slowly, but it still made him stutter. You froze once your nose was pressed against him again, and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief, until you swallowed and he nearly groaned out loud. Somehow your dad was still clueless, rambling on about-well, Bucky didn’t know what he was talking about anymore. He bit his lip hard as your tongue lapped at his balls, the tip of his cock still in your throat. A curse slipped through his lips. He was sure he looked like he was in pain–he was about to come and you wouldn’t stop–he didn’t want you to stop.
Your dad frowned. “You, okay?”
“Yeah,” Bucky choked out, annoyed now that you had completely pulled back, licking his tip teasingly. “Just playing with my kitten. She’s being a bad girl.”
Bucky smirked as you clenched your thighs together.
“But I think she just needs attention. I’ll see you later.”
With that, your dad finally left and as soon as he was safely inside your house, Bucky tucked himself back into his pants and squatted down to look you in the eye.
“What happened to being a good girl for daddy, huh?”
“Couldn’t help it.”
Bucky kissed you fiercely, before bringing you to your feet. “Inside.”
You didn’t hesitate, running to his backdoor as he slowly stalked behind you.
**
Bucky’s tongue held power. You were sure of it. It tortured, teased, and pleased all in one firm, wet swipe. And he did it for what seemed like hours. Not letting you go until you begged for a break. When he finally lifted his head from between your trembling thighs, you groaned at the sight. His handsome beard glistened with your arousal, and his blue eyes were dark with need. Your legs spread further for him and he smirked as he climbed over your body to reach your lips.
“Good girl; gonna take my cock, kitten?”
“Yes daddy, give it to me,” you nearly whined as you felt him press the tip against your entrance.
He was quiet as he slid in, but you could feel the tension in his shoulders. You gripped them tight as he split you open slowly, every throbbing vein rubbing you in just the right way.
“Oh god, you’re so big,” you whimpered once he was fully inside you.
His breath was ragged against your neck, and even your feet pressing into his firm ass wasn’t enough to get him to move yet.
“Please,” you begged, and finally he pulled out. Bucky fucked slow but deep, making sure you felt everything he gave you. Every drag was heaven, every thrust euphoria. His vibranium hand was cradling the back of your head, tangled in your hair, his other gripping your hip to keep you in place. You climbed quickly, but you needed more.
“Faster, please, I can take it.”
Bucky’s head dropped against yours for a second before he obliged. He moved his hand from your hair to the headboard, slowly building up the speed of his thrusts.
You could feel his control slipping, his thrusts felt more frantic, the muscles in his arms bulged, and his breaths grew even more ragged.
Yet you still needed more.
“Talk to me,” you finally whispered, almost embarrassed to ask.
Bucky froze, and you feared maybe you had ruined the moment. But then he gave you that ridiculously hot, lopsided smirk and pressed his lips to your ear.
“You want me to tell you how good you feel?”
You nodded, swallowing thickly as he resumed his pace.
“Want to hear how badly I wanna ignore your pleasure and fuck you hard and fast?”
“Yes!” You groaned, lifting your hips to urge him to move faster.
 “Want me to tell you how I have to masturbate every fucking day thinking about your lips, your cunt, your ass?”
“You touch yourself, wishing your cock was up my ass?”
“Fuck yes.” Bucky sounded truly broken, and you lifted his head to see the desire in his eyes.
“Next time,” you managed to speak before his pace turned even more punishing.
“Gonna fuckin’ kill me. Tell me what else you like, sweetheart. Wanna feel you come.”
“Suck my tits, daddy, I’m so close.”
“With pleasure,” Bucky immediately moved his lips to the little tattoo on the side of your breast. Swiping his tongue over it a few times while his big hands squeezed your tits. His pace slowed slightly as he lost himself in worshiping your breasts. His tongue teased until you were nearly frantic with desire. With one last slow lick over your nipple, his warm mouth wrapped around it. Your back arched, and you came almost instantly, drawing a deep groan from him as he continued to suck hungrily.
You knew he had to be close. He was putting off his own release to draw more and more from you.
“Wanna ride you, daddy.”
He didn’t argue, flipping the two of you over so you were on top of him, your hands planted on his muscular chest.
You didn’t think he could get any better, but this angle made your eyes roll to the back of your head. Yeah, there would definitely be a next time, and a time after that. As many times as he’d allow.
His fingers gripped your hips hard, and you fluttered around him at the thought of the bruises he would leave behind.
“I’m close,” Bucky said, almost reluctantly. “Gotta stop.”
“Can’t,” you said breathlessly, moving your hips faster.
He groaned, arguing with you even as his hand moved from your hip to your breast and his hips jerked off the bed.
“Come inside me, daddy, need it.”
“Jesus fuck,” Bucky’s head dipped back. “You can’t–can’t say shit like that.”
“Why?” You questioned, leaning down to his ear. “Because you’re not supposed to be fucking me? Because you’re not supposed to want to fuck me?”
“Stop,” Bucky groaned, thrusting faster.
“Because you’re not supposed to have your fat cock balls deep in my little pussy?”
A strangled noise left Bucky’s throat, and he threw you onto your back. You were disappointed, expecting him to finish himself over your stomach, but before you could even pout his was back inside you. If you thought he was needy before, this was frantic. He hugged your body tight to his, his feet scrambled against the sheets, looking for purchase so he could fuck you deeper. 
He couldn’t string together a sentence anymore, but you no longer needed him to tell you how good he felt. You could feel it with each throb of his cock deep inside you.
“Can’t stop–” he gasped, and you grabbed his ass, pushing him deeper.
A hungry, desperate sound left his mouth, and you knew you had him.
“Give it to me,” you whispered in his ear. “Fuck my little pussy, daddy, it’s yours.”
Bucky’s hand gripped your ass hard as he shoved his cock as deep as it would go. His teeth bit your neck as he came. You yelped at the pain, but tangled your hand in his hair to keep him there.
His thrusts became more frantic at first as he fucked himself through his orgasm, but eventually he slowed, the static in his brain clearing just enough to speak again. You were both keenly aware that he’s still coming, fucking you slowly as he does.
“Fuck, such a good girl, taking it so well.”
All you could was whimper, entirely spent.
“Shh, it’s okay. You did so well for me.” Bucky kissed you gently, distracting you from the loss of his cock.
“Should have done it sooner,” you mumbled, and Bucky nipped your bottom lip.
“I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart. Promise.”
You were about to give a sarcastic answer when he deliberately pressed himself against your hip and your eyes went wide.
Bucky nodded, a cocky smile on his lips.
You lifted your head, looking down to confirm with your own eyes before flopping down onto the bed. “God, you’re a fucking wet dream.”
“You’re one to talk, kitten. Now let me take care of you so you can be good and ready for that round two you promised.”
Bucky squeezed your ass before leaving the bed, leading you to the shower.
His guilt was no longer present, completely replaced by fiery lust.
1K notes · View notes
yukuoo · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
James Lee x fem!reader
James red hair era
𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂
"I'm convinced no one wants me." You huffed out, complaining to your friend for the 29383829294th time today. You've never had a boyfriend yeah, even when you moved from America to Korea no one has ONCE asked you out. Even if people asked you out in your home town, it was clear that they had bad intentions with you.
Its not the fact that they were shorter than you was the problem.. Well it sort of was but not really— but it was the look in their eye that made you uneasy.
"Uh-huh okay anyways did you hear James got another trophy?" Your friend completely dismissed your complaints which made you Huff. All this talk about James and who didn't even know who he was.
Sure your friend had pointed him out a few times, but his back was turned to you. So you never saw the face to the name. "Really? What type of trophy" you pouted slightly. James seemed like a popular guy, though you were certain that most of the people who tried to approach him wanted him for his fame around school only.
"Poetry!"
"Oh shit, isnt poetry hard?"
".. You know what else is hard—"
"Okay buddy I'm going to stop you right there."
Bidding each other your goodbyes, you made your way to your down the hall, unaware of the pair of eyes that trailed your figure. In just a second, someone tapped your shoulder making you turn around and look at the person responsible for making you acknowledge them.
"Hello there." A smirk appeared on the guys lips, yes he was fairly attractive. And by that he was VERY attractive. You couldn't help but think he was familiar.
"Hello...? Have I seen you around?" Just with that sentence it felt like James's confidence had been crushed. Like a piano fell on top of him. But he didn't mind, thats what he liked about you.
He knew you didn't like popularity or didn't really mind much of the other students, though the downside was that you didn't know him... He knew you were just slow actually.
Like. You were sort of stupid actually.
"James. My names James Lee." He introduced himself while walking closer to you, moving his lollipop to the other side of his mouth to talk to you clearer.
You stared at him for a bit, one second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Click!
"OHH YOU'RE— OHHHHH" it was amusing how it took you a bit to know who he was. A face to the name.
"Yeah."He pretended to wonder for a second soon saying your name. You nodded and smiled.
"Yeah! Whats up?"
"Oh nothing much, just wondering if I could use a bit of your time if you're not in a hurry." Of course you just freed yourself, so you complied with his request. His smile widened, not in a weird way but more so as in a pleased way.
"Sweet okay, I just have a question is all." He wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
"What's your type?"
Your brain short circuited.
There was no way THE James Lee had just asked you that. Of course, you barely payed attention to your friends stories of the guy. He has seemed interesting due to the amount of accomplishments he had done, he was the star student of the whole SCHOOL. Who wouldn't be shocked? Not only that, but he was fairly attractive.
If anything, you were a sore loser compared to him. You were just an average girl, an average social life, and hella shy. Plus you sucked in most of the sports you played that being volleyball and basketball.
So why would a genius like him be asking you this sort of question.
"Uhm... Well.." How were you supposed to tell him that you have NEVER been in a relationship without getting embarrassed.
"I guess someone who can put up with me...?" A chuckle left your lips, your answer sounding more like a question after responding with an unsure tone.
The silence James gave you made it even worse.
"I see." He muttered, the smirk never leaving his lips.
Now holding hands with James after a month you stared at the flowers in the ground.
"Did I just get asked out by James fucking Lee." Only did it take a month for you to actually register that you had been in a relationship with the most popular guy in school.
"Yeah."
"What the fuck."
Tumblr media
Omg I posted this kinds of late but someone asked me if it was like another James story here and I had completely forgotten to post where I was inspired by for the story.
@spaceyflowerswriting! I didn't mean for it to look like their story, I was writing it during a school night rlly late so I'm so so sorry if it seemed like I had taken it😭
330 notes · View notes
my-castles-crumbling · 5 months
Text
cruel - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 351
"He's just so hot!" Susan Petra all-but-squealed one day in the library, interrupting Regulus's peaceful studying.
It was a normal occurrence.
Susan had had a crush on James for weeks, now, and Regulus was forced to hear all about it, since she frequently gossiped about it in the library, of all places.
She even followed James around sometimes, going on to him about how wonderful he was at Quidditch, how smart he was and how great his bloody shirt was or whatever.
"She'll give it up eventually," Dorcas had told him diplomatically a few days ago, and Regulus had continued to bite his tongue.
But now, he'd had enough. He'd been quiet for too long. He moved from his spot next to Pandora, clenching his fists.
He walked up behind Susan and tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. "Ask him out, then," he said, his voice level.
"I-what?" Susan turned from her friend to look at him, looking quite surprised. Regulus didn't blame her, he wasn't sure they'd ever spoken in his life.
"Ask. Him. Out. I heard he's given up on Evans and he likes someone new. Now's your chance," he said, trying to sound vaguely encouraging.
Susan's eyes lit up and she turned to her friend to discuss this new development.
"Why did you tell her to do that, Reggie?" Pandora murmured as Regulus returned to his seat.
"You'll see," Regulus answered, returning to his reading.
-
"He likes someone else," a voice shocked Regulus out of his concentration the next day, and he looked up from his table in the library to see Susan hovering above him.
"Really?"
"Yes. He seems quite...smitten. He said he loves them," Susan muttered, tears in her eyes.
"Ah, well. Got to get over it then, huh?" Regulus said with a careless shrug, but he felt himself go red and his heart was beating quickly.
"R-right," Susan agreed, rushing away.
"Reggie, that was cruel," Pandora said, but she was giggling a little.
"Maybe now she'll get off my boyfriend's arse," Regulus sniffed, brain still whirling.
He said he loves them.
553 notes · View notes
becca-e-barnes · 2 years
Note
do you have any pornstar dbf!bucky thots👀
The Video
I've had this thought in my head all damn day and I just needed to write it. I'll link this piece on both my Dad's Best Friend!Bucky master list and the Pornstar!Bucky master list because I don't want to choose.
Consider this the piece I wrote to celebrate my birthday today 💗 here’s to 23 with you lovely folks! 🥂
Tumblr media
Pairing: Pornstar! Dad's Best Friend!Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 3K
Summary: You find out what your father’s best friend does for work.
Warnings: Age gap (reader is in her mid 20’s, Bucky is in his late 40’s), vaginal fingering, masturbation, unprotected sex, creampie, size kink, praise kink, mentions of rough pornography, dirty talk, pet names, degradation
Minors, do not interact
Avoiding Bucky had never been your plan, purely because it would’ve been a fucking stupid one.  Realistically, it wouldn’t have been easy to avoid someone who probably spent more time at your house than they did their own.  When he wasn’t at ‘work’, your father’s friend seemed to spend his time at your house, mowing the lawn or polishing your mom’s car or watching some pointless sports game with your dad.
You’d never really questioned what Bucky got up to for work.  You imagined growing up that he must’ve practiced a trade since he was always the one your father called to fix the kitchen sink when it sprung a leak or tinker with the garage door when it became difficult to pull down.
Now that you were fully clued in however, it all made painful sense why Bucky had been so evasive when you had come right out and asked him what he did for work the year before you graduated from college.
“What do you think I do, sweetheart?”  He had asked with a smirk tugging at the corners of his soft, pink lips.
“I have no idea, Buck!  You seem to have as much free time as you like, I just don’t understand how you pay the bills.”  You had mused, sitting in your own garage on a work bench, swinging your legs in front of you, secretly hoping that Bucky would notice just how cute and tiny those shorts you were wearing are.  Unfortunately for you, he didn’t look up from under the bonnet of your dad’s jeep.
“I guess you could say I’m self-employed, angel.  I pick and choose the jobs I want.  I have plenty of offers.”  He tried to keep it as non-descript as possible, dodging the question rather than lying about it.
“I bet you do, you seem good with your hands.”  He could tell by the genuine innocence in your voice that you truly had no idea.  You weren’t leading him to answer one way or another.
He huffed out a laugh as he grabbed the rag beside him, wiping the oil from his hands, muddying the white cloth with the dark residue.  “Oh sweetheart, you have no idea.”
It all made perfect sense now though, scrolling through picture after picture on your phone.  Every drag of your fingertip brought a fresh wave of video thumbnails, each somehow more obscene than the last.  The titles certainly weren’t much better.  
Pictures of beautiful young women flooded your screen.  Some had their makeup thoroughly ruined, mascara tracked down their cheeks and a fucked-out look in their eyes.  Some were on their knees, their hair grabbed into a rough ponytail while they rested the tip of a cock on their tongue.  Some were bent over, evidently ‘trapped’ under their bed with their ass in the air. 
Curiosity got the better of you, after ignoring a warning from your brain that this might be an invasion of Bucky’s privacy.  It was all posted on the internet after all, it’s not like he could keep it a secret forever.  
One video caught your eye, titled ‘James Barnes fucks tight brunette, HUGE cumshot’.  The crude objectification made you wince a little but the short snippet of video that the thumbnail provided you with seemed a little bit gentler than the rest.
Skipping the first few minutes helped you feel like you weren’t too invested.  This was research.  Plain and simple nosiness.  You had no intention of watching this for any purpose other than to see whether Bucky Barnes had perfected his craft or not.
“Shit, that’s it.  So fuckin’ pretty like this.”  The voice from your phone was familiar but so much lower than you’d ever heard it before; so deep, you could only have described it as a growl.
The girl whimpered, almost pathetically.  You couldn’t blame her.  Bucky wasn’t small by any stretch of the imagination and judging by the reaction of the woman he was buried inside, he managed to hit all the spots he needed to.
You’d heard fake moans before.  Hell, you’d made plenty of them yourself.  Enough to know that the woman you were watching wasn’t orchestrating hers for the benefit of the camera.  No, those were real.  Right down to the trembling thighs either side of Bucky’s narrow hips.
“You have no idea how perfect you feel.  Tight and wet and warm.  You take me so fuckin’ well.”  You watched as he slid inside her, painfully slowly.  Admittedly, her body did take him well, letting him sink in until he had nothing left to give.  This poor woman was already looking somewhat blissed out, begging him to fuck her but that’s when you skipped forward to about a minute before the end.  That same woman was now clawing at his muscular back, whimpering and sobbing delightfully while Bucky pounded into her.  He wasn’t holding back in the slightest, letting the same filth tumble from his lips.
“Oh baby, you sound like you can’t take any more.  Are you done?”  He was so condescending, it made your gut tighten with lust, a dull throb settling between your legs but the woman only shook her head.
“Good girl.  God, ’m so close.  You’ll never get enough, will you?  Just a needy fucking slut for me.  Gonna have you all cock obsessed.  Bet you’ll think of me every time you touch that pretty pussy of yours from now on.  You’ll be begging to see me again.”  Bucky sounded wrecked, finishing his sentence with a drawn out, low groan.  Within a couple of seconds, he had pulled out, splashing his seed all over the woman’s tummy, pearlescent spend rolling down her sides and onto the sheets while some pooled on her heaving chest.
Over the next few days, you tried desperately to get what you had seen out of your head.  You tried hard, you really did.  Perhaps it didn’t help that late at night, you found yourself going back to watch more.  Perhaps it also didn’t help that you found your hand drifting under your panties as you watched, taking care of that familiar throb that seemed to turn into an ache when you watched for too long without touching yourself.
Dodging Bucky was simple enough but you knew you couldn’t keep it up forever.  Hiding in your room couldn’t become a hobby just because you found out your father’s best friend, the older man you had been so innocently crushing on, was a porn star.
The first time you bumped into him though, it was game over.  He could tell just from the way you looked at him that something was up, or rather, the way you couldn’t look at him.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?”  He asked, watching you make yourself look busy in the cereal cupboard late one afternoon after he had walked into your kitchen.  You saw him coming and very obviously tried find any excuse that meant you wouldn’t have to talk to him.
“I’m fine, looking for cereal.”  You replied, your head almost buried in the cupboard.
“Well, I hope you find it.  If you can’t see it from there, you’ve got a problem.  I bet your nose is practically touching the box, you’re so deep in there.”  He sounded too damn amused and it only made you more embarrassed.  This really was the last thing you needed.  “Why are you avoiding me, honey?”
There it was.  You were called out.
“I’m not!”  You tried to sound sincere but you weren’t awfully successful; you knew even as you were saying the words that it wasn’t going to fly.
“Mhm, and the fact you saw me coming has nothing to do with how you’re buried shoulder deep in the cereal cupboard?  Don’t think I’m stupid.  I know you’re avoiding me.”  In hindsight, you maybe could’ve handled that a little bit better but now here you were, pulling yourself back out and forcing some painfully awkward eye contact.
“I’ve seen the videos.”  You mumbled, looking away and making yourself busy with your nails.
“Okay.”  He dragged the word out a little, slowing it down and only adding to it’s gravity.  “And?  You’re an adult.  You know what porn is.  Things don’t need to be weird but if you’re uncomfortable having me around, I can leave you alone.”
“No, you don’t have to, I don’t have a problem with it.  It’s all just very… Rough?”  You weren’t really sure this was a conversation you wanted to be having, shame burning in the pit of your stomach because clearly you’d just admitted to watching more than a video or two.
He paused for a second, nodding his head, the couple of light grey hairs at the crown of his head glinting in the light.  “You’re right, sweetheart.  It's a little rough at times.  That’s not my preference, that’s the script I’m given.”
That made sense and somehow settled you just a little.  “So you just stick to the script?”  You quiz, holding eye contact with him again for a few seconds before it got too intense.
“For the most part.  It doesn’t tell me what to say, that’s all up to me.  It just gives me direction.  It’s a running order of the scenes we’ve agreed to shoot.  Most of those videos certainly aren’t a representation of how I would want to fuck if I got the choice.”  His lips were curled in a soft smile, watching you lap this all up.
“A-and how would you want to fuck if you got to choose?”  You couldn’t quite believe you’d said it but apparently you did because the question hung in the air longer than you might have wanted it to.
“Well sweetheart, that depends.  I’d treat a pretty little thing like you a bit differently.  I’d have to be slow with you.  Really ease you into it.  I bet I’d have to spend a lot of time working you up to take me.  I think I’d start by giving you my tongue until I can slip a finger into you.  Then a second finger.  Maybe a third if I think you can manage it.”  He could see the effect this was having on you.  You’d wanted to imagine it while you’d watched his videos but you couldn’t bring yourself to fall into the fantasy.  Now he was dragging you into it.
“Then I’d put you on your hands and knees.  I’d tell you to rub yourself while I press inside you, so slow you’ll be begging me to give you all of me.  And when you’re at that point, ruined and desperate for more, I’ll fuck you nice and slow.  I’ll have you just as addicted as those other girls but with a kinder pleasure.  I’d tell you how beautiful you are and how badly I’ve wanted to kiss every inch of your skin I can.  I’d tell you how gorgeous you look when you cum and how it’s better than I ever imagined.”
God, this was something close to a dream come true.  “I-I’d like that.  That sounds… Nice.”  Words were really failing you, hoping this was a genuine offer and not just some hypothetical situation that would never play out.
“It does sound nice.”  Bucky huffed out a laugh.  “It sounds real fucking nice.  I shouldn’t want my best friend’s daughter cumming around me.  I know I shouldn’t.  I know I think about it far too often but nothing gets me off the way you do.”
Your breath caught in your throat, an embarrassing arousal throbbing its way around your body, settling in the pit of your stomach.  Heat blossomed in your chest, hoping beyond hope that this wasn’t some sick joke.  
“I want that.  But I don’t want you to be too gentle.  I want you to fuck me the way you want to fuck.  Not what you think I need.”  Your confidence almost caught him off guard and he didn’t expect to find it as sexy as he did.
“God, you’re a tease.”  He muttered under his breath, crossing the short space between you both to crash your lips against his.  You could feel the heat of his body against yours, the difference in size almost making you shudder because you’d never felt this small against a partner.
His lips were soft, his hands wandering seemingly everywhere at once and it was so much to take in.  Fuck, it was perfect.  Intense and hungry but not overwhelming.
“Bed, Buck.”  You pant between fervent kisses before he’s grabbed you by the back of the thighs, helping you wrap your legs around his waist so he could carry you to your room. 
You both had your clothes stripped off in a frenzy, not giving much thought to anything other than the way your lips slotted together.  Your bottom lip felt perfectly at home between his teeth, the slight pain of his bite only making you moan.
“You’re such a good girl.”  He whispers, tugging your panties off and groaning when he realises how slick they are already.  “Fuck, I should’ve known how bad you’d need this.  It’s always the ones you least expect.”
His breath feels so hot on your neck, littering the skin with kisses and gentle nibbles, panting tiny groans against you while his fingers slide over your core.
You’re wet and messy, aching with a need you didn’t know you were capable of.  “Oh sweetheart, I could slip right into you.  You’re soaking wet for me.  God, you’re a dream.”
“Buck, please.  I want your tongue later.  P-please just fuck me first.”  You could hardly manage a conhesive thought with the way his fingertips played with your body ever so gently, alternating between rubbing little circles on your clit and teasing your hole with the tips of two fingers, pressing them in just to the first knuckle.
“This is wrong, sweetheart.  So fucking wrong.  I shouldn’t get this fuckin’ excited hearing you beg for my dick but it’s all I’ve wanted for months.”  His voice is just as low as you heard in those videos, dripping with arousal.
“The only thing ‘wrong’ here is the fact you’re not inside me yet.”  You giggle quietly, rolling over and presenting your ass to him, exactly how he had described earlier.  
Whatever self-control he had was gone.  Long gone.  The sight of you offering your slick, hot core was more than enough to ruin him but the way you watched him over your shoulder with an excited smile almost had him trembling with need.
“This is wrong.”  He whispered, lining the tip of his dick up with your entrance, grunting at the feeling of the wet heat.
“So wrong.”  You repeated quietly.  “S-so fucking wrong.  We shouldn’t be doing this.”  You were breathless already, pressing yourself back until his tip had just slipped inside you.  “We shouldn’t need this as badly as we do.”
Bucky’s groan was beautiful, watching as you shifted yourself back to allow the rest of his length to slide slowly into you.
“You know damn well what you’re doing to me.”  He sighed, looking away from the sight of his thick length gliding home.  “Play with yourself.  I won’t last long this time sweetheart but trust me, I’ve got all night with you.”  
You’d never seen him this wrecked so early on in any of his videos so you did as you were told, letting two fingers circle your clit the way you often did when you watched him slide into those other women.  
You heard him take a deep breath, pulling back out as far as possible without slipping out before pressing back in again, dragging a soft groan from both of you.  This was everything you’d both longed for and more.
His huge hands squeezed the cheeks of your ass, admiring the how soft and plush it felt under his touch, dragging himself back out only to press back in, earning another groan.
You could’ve taken this forever, enjoying the way his tip nudged that delicate spot inside you while your fingers worked exactly how you like them to.  This was bliss in its truest form.  This was the passion you had craved, the gentle touches and soft praises but accompanied by an all-consuming pleasure.
“Faster Bucky, please.”  You whined and hell, you looked like a goddess, fallen forward onto the bed, so consumed by sensations that you wanted to have no control over and he could recognise that so clearly.
“Tell me you need me.”  He panted, speeding up his thrusts, letting each one land beautifully before forcing himself momentarily from the heat of your body once more.
“Oh God, I need you.  I need you, Bucky.  I need you to fuck me faster.  Fuck me harder.  It feels so good.  I’m gonna cum for you, I just need more.”  You couldn’t help but sob, drowning in the litany of groans and curses falling from the older man lips.
Your fingers worked faster, in time with the thrusts you were receiving until it all come crumbling down around you.  The knot in your tummy tightened unbearably, your heart pounding as the sensation took over entirely.  It was a perfect release, your body clenching and tightening rhythmically while you sobbed the ecstasy into the pillow under your head.
“Oh good girl, that’s it.  Cum nice ‘n hard.  O-oh God.”  You vaguely registered Bucky coaching you through your orgasm before reaching his own but unlike any of his videos, he didn’t pull out.  He stayed buried inside you, pressed as deep as he could go.  You felt the weight of his seed inside you, the position allowing it to drip deeper, pooling at your cervix and the thought alone made you shudder.
“My God, that was…. Wow.”  He laughed, kissing down your spine before pulling out and flopping onto the bed beside you.  
“Yeah… Wow.”  You giggled, kissing his cheek and curling up against him, not really worried that you were both a little sweaty.  
“I meant it though.  I’ll be gentle with you later.  I’ll take my time with you.  I just needed that.”  He kissed your forehead, running a hand down your back and damn, he certainly wouldn’t hear you complaining.
6K notes · View notes
steddieas-shegoes · 11 months
Note
Hello my love! ❤️
Another for you, if you’re still taking them, though of course feel free to ignore this for any reason (or even no reason) at all!
I would love to see what you can do with Steddie and James Arthur’s “Car’s Outside”. I feel like this is one Eddie would write for Steve, maybe after an argument..? 👀
I had to look this one up because I’d never heard it before and this is some emotional stuff I wasn’t prepared for but should’ve been when you said maybe after an argument 😭
Touring the country had been his dream for so long that when it became a reality, he forgot what was most important.
It happened to a lot of rockstars.
His reality check came like lightning, fast and sharp.
“I’m just trying to understand, Stevie. You wanted me to do this. You told me to go on the tours and record the albums. You supported me. What changed?”
“You did.”
That was the last thing Steve said to him over a week ago.
All he knew now was that Steve was back in Hawkins staying with Wayne and hadn’t told him much other than he wouldn’t take up too much room for long.
Wayne didn’t tell him anything except that Steve was alive and safe, but didn’t seem to be taking care of himself well.
The first two days, all Eddie felt was anger. He was full of contempt for Steve suddenly changing his mind about Eddie’s life and dreams.
But the third day was when it hit him that Steve left.
He’d avoided everyone after that, only answered the phone in case it was him calling and hanging up if it wasn’t him.
He barely got out of bed, barely ate, didn’t even go into the bedroom converted into a music room to play his guitar.
The next tour was set to start in two weeks and he didn’t think he could go, not like this, not without Steve here waiting for him.
- - - - -
Wayne called the night before he was leaving for the tour, said he needed to come to Hawkins, but wouldn’t say why.
“Are you sick or hurt?”
“No, Ed.”
“…is Steve?”
“Just get here.”
So Eddie did.
He called the guys and told them he would meet them at their first stop in New York in three days, that he had a family emergency and couldn’t travel on the bus with them.
When he got to Hawkins, he felt like turning right around and leaving.
He hadn’t been back in years; Wayne always came to see them for holidays and visits.
Nothing has changed, not even the trailer Wayne insisted on still living in, even when Eddie offered to buy him something nicer.
Steve’s car sat in the driveway next to Wayne’s truck, just like it did before they’d moved to Chicago to try to make Eddie’s dream happen.
Eddie parked next to him, the rental from the airport much cleaner and nicer than anything else around here, but not in a good way.
It clicked suddenly, that Eddie wasn’t the same. That the guy who used to drive a beat up van and live in this trailer and loved Steve so much it felt like a physical ache when he wasn’t around wasn’t here.
He walked up to the door, knocking like this wasn’t his home just five years ago.
Wayne answered, sullen face making his chest tight with worry.
“Where is he?”
“He’s asleep finally. Come on in, son. Have a seat.”
“What happened?”
Wayne sighed.
“He’s been overworking himself and not sleeping or eating, and it finally caught up to him. He’s had a migraine for three days now, longest I’ve seen. Can barely sit up to sip water but begged me not take him to the hospital.”
Eddie’s fists clenched.
“Why wouldn’t he go?”
Wayne blinked at him.
“Son, you’re not an idiot despite the way you’ve been actin’ for a while. Think about it.”
Wayne walked to the kitchen and started packing his lunchbox.
“Where are you going?”
“I got a shift to get to. Steve shouldn’t be alone.”
Eddie stayed on the couch for the next two hours, his brain shifting through thoughts that quickly turned into song lyrics.
He wrote them down, but barely focused on what he was writing. Now wasn’t really a great time to be producing something new.
He heard a groan from his old bedroom and shot up from the couch, making his way to the end of the hall and entering the room without a second thought.
Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed, body hunched and eyes closed, pain a physical presence through every inch of him.
“Stevie,” Eddie choked out.
Steve’s head shot up. He winced in pain, but the tears in his eyes didn’t seem to have much to do with that as Eddie got closer.
“What are you doing here?”
“Wayne called.”
“And?”
“If you need me, I’m gonna be here.”
Steve looked away, his eyes closing as he turned his head.
“That’s not how things have been.”
It hurt, but he was right. It hadn’t been how things have been. Not for a while.
“I know. I…I don’t think sorry is enough for any of it, but I am. I’m sorry. So sorry, Stevie.”
Steve looked at him, the haze of the migraine keeping a lot of emotion off his face.
“Yeah. Okay.”
It wasn’t forgiveness, and forgiveness wasn’t deserved yet, but it was a start. And when Steve let Eddie get him water and medicine, and play with his hair, it felt like a start.
- - - - -
Eddie had to go.
If he didn’t go, he’d miss the first show of the tour.
He’d be in deep shit, and the guys would hate him, and he would never make music again.
His manager called him every four hours at Wayne’s asking when his flight would be and he always said “when things are right with Steve.”
It started to feel like that might not happen.
But something about the way Steve was slowly letting him in, allowing him to care for him more every day, gave him hope that he could get him back, get them back.
Wayne didn’t say much to him, didn’t have to. The way he watched was enough to know how Wayne felt about him, this situation.
But he didn’t go.
Steve’s migraine was gone, but he still needed Eddie, still needed to see that he was the priority.
Eddie needed to show him that he mattered more than his band, because he did. He always had and always would.
He missed the last flight that would’ve gotten him there on time.
He called the guys to let them know, to apologize, to tell them that he had to do what was best for him.
They understood, but told him their manager was livid and probably would try to replace him instead of postpone the tour.
He didn’t care at this point.
He’d gotten his taste of fame and it was bittersweet.
Steve stood in the doorway when Eddie hung up the phone, watching him with his arms crossed as Eddie covered his face in his hands.
“You’re not going?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Eddie dropped his hands and sighed.
“If I have to pick, then I pick you. I’ll always pick you.”
Steve’s brows furrowed.
“You think I want you to pick between me and your career?”
“Yes. That’s why you left, isn’t it?”
Steve shook his head.
“I left because you forgot that I was a choice at all,” Steve’s voice sounded choked. “I left because I didn’t even think you’d care if I did. You didn’t seem to care much about leaving me anymore.”
Eddie’s heart couldn’t possibly break more.
“Sweetheart, of course I care. I’m here because I can’t lose you. If it’s you or the band, then it’s you. Always.”
Steve let out a sob.
“I didn’t want you to choose me instead of your career. I wanted you to recognize that choosing your career didn’t have to mean not choosing me.”
“Oh, my love.”
Eddie pulled Steve against him, holding the back of his head against his chest, other hand running up and down his back slowly.
“You’re always my first choice. I’m sorry I forgot to show you that. I’m sorry you ever had to feel like you weren’t even an option. You’re the most important choice I’ve ever made and I’m going to keep choosing you every day. Even if it means giving up the band. None of that means shit to me if I don’t have you.”
Steve nodded against his chest.
They stayed like that for so long, Wayne came home, nodded and smiled from the doorway of the kitchen.
- - - - -
Steve came with him.
He called his manager the next day, said it was non-negotiable that Steve be with them for this tour.
The band was on his side, of course. They loved Steve and they loved Eddie and the last thing they wanted was to see either of them hurting.
The first time he performed the song he wrote while he was in limbo with Steve, he let the crowd know what was most important in his life.
“Gonna slow it down a bit for this next one. Sometimes this life has some downsides, hard to believe, right? It’s hard to maintain who you are when you’re being pulled in so many directions. But I’m lucky to have someone who keeps me grounded. Leaving them for tour wasn’t an option this time around, and I’m glad they’re here with me. I wrote this a couple weeks ago when we were having a hard time. I wasn’t being the partner they needed, and I wasn’t showing them that they’re the partner I want. I’m not loving you from afar anymore, sweetheart.”
Steve watched from his spot backstage, like he did every night.
He didn’t feel like an option anymore, he felt like the choice.
416 notes · View notes