#i forget important things that i want to remember
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This isn’t a question, but I want to thank you for your books and how they’ve impacted my life.
Over thirteen years ago, I read Neverwhere for the first time and it changed what kind of writer I wanted to be. I went on to read more of your books—my other two favourites were The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane.
About 11 or so years ago, I asked you on Twitter if I could read Stardust on a Twitch livestream, and you responded, “Fine by me”. It was one of my best streams, and while life got in the way of me doing more, I still remember it incredibly fondly.
Ten years ago I had a baby, and while he was an infant, I read him, Fortunately, the Milk, in an attempt to read him a book. He didn’t seem interested. I decided I’d try again some other time perhaps. But I did resolve to get him to read The Graveyard Book someday.
Nine years ago, when I was a mother of a one-year-old, I posted a status on Facebook simply saying, “We do not forget.”
Two years ago, I went on holiday, and I downloaded the audio book version of The Graveyard Book from our local library. My eight-year-old son listened to it as he fell asleep, though he ended up missing some parts, and we shelved it.
Last year, he read Coraline and didn’t like it. That isn’t your fault. He read Charlotte’s Web and didn’t like that either. He just didn’t quite have the understanding for them.
This year, he read Coraline and liked it. I told him it was from the same author as The Graveyard Book. He lamented that he never finished The Graveyard Book, and I said he could always download it from the library again.
Then about a month ago, he and I went through a tough time. I was really stressed about life, he wasn’t doing so well either, and our relationship got strained. I was angry with him all the time. I needed a break from him, or I thought I did. But one day when he was at his dad’s I realised that I wouldn’t get this time back. That I needed to fix it. So I asked him if he wanted me to read to him at bedtime. Just like when he was little. And we settled on The Graveyard Book.
On nights when he got to bed on time, I’d read a chapter. It often meant stretching past bedtime, but I could never stop halfway. It had been years since I’d read it too, and I found myself remembering things I’d forgotten. I’d watch his dark eyes widen whenever things got exciting, and I loved when he would interrupt me with an important revelation. “It’s Scarlett! His friend!” he’d say. “The dog! The grey dog!” “I know what Silas is!” He would tell me that I did the voices so well, that it seemed to match each character so perfectly.
We didn’t read every night, but it was a treat when we did. One night we had an argument and he told me he hated me. That he wished I was dead. And that he wanted to be with his dad. I told him to go take a shower, and that I’d ask his dad to come get him. His dad said no, but agreed to talk to him on the phone. After the shower, my son apologised for what he said. I said okay, and told him to call his dad to chat. After their call, he asked if we would still have story time. I asked if he preferred that or to have some space. He said he wanted both, but wanted story time more than space. So I read to him. It was the chapter when Bod and Silas argued, and then apologised to each other. Halfway through that chapter, my son asked for snuggles. I said, what happened to space? And he said, “I want snuggles more than space.”
We were sad when it ended. We finished it last weekend. I cried as I read it. But it was a beautiful sadness. We’ve talked about it a bit since then, to process it. He says he would like to read more about Silas and Bod’s adventures and asked if there was fan fiction about it. I told him to look, and to write some if there wasn’t. Perhaps I’ll write some too, just for him.
Last night he was at his dad’s and I was browsing Facebook and sent him a couple of his old pictures. Then I found an old post. From exactly nine years ago. And so I sent it to him.
It brought tears to my eyes. I did not remember making that post, and I’ve forgotten a great deal over the years, but I hope I do not forget these little moments with my son. But even if I do, I have them written down here to remind me again.
And thank you. For the words you’ve written and the impact you’ve had on our lives and hearts. I hope that your life holds the same amount of joy and love that you’ve given to others with your words.
That made me so happy. Thank you. I hope you and your son keep growing together.
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Fairytale Keeper's Final Assessment SE:
Ellis Twilight’s POV Chapter 1 ཐིཋྀ
Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Dividers: @/natimiles
What is happiness?
It’s like the twilight sky, which changes color as soon as it is burned into the eye.
You can't get the same thing again, even though it holds your heart forever and won't let go.
So tomorrow - I will show you more beautiful twilight.
The day after tomorrow and the day after that.
Then, eventually, when you are assured of the best happiness -
(Hmm…..ng…..)
Pale sunlight streamed in through the window and tickled my eyelids.
I open my eyes and stare at her sleeping face with her arms pillowed around me.
(Cute. Looks so comfy, like a little kid.)
Lately, I've been waking up to find Kate next to me more often.
We both have our own rooms, so sometimes we talk about sleeping separately.
However, when it comes time to say goodbye, we just can't leave.
(It's like we forget to leave.)
Kate: Mm……mmm…
(Ah, she woke up.)
Ellis: Good morning, Kate.
Kate: …..Ellis, good morning.
When I kiss Kate’s forehead she laughed like it tickled.
I, I really like it when Kate, who always lives for her life, becomes defenseless.
Ellis: Hey, Kate…..Are you happy now?
She already knows that this question of mine has a special meaning.
Kate: Yeah……I'm happy.
Ellis: How much?
Kate: ……I see.
Kate: I’m still extremely happy though…..
(Oh, she looks like she wants to kiss me.)
When I kissed her again on the lips that I kissed so much last night, Kate blinked her eyes.
Ellis: Would kissing make you happier?
Kate: How did you know what I wanted you to do?
Ellis: Because I love you.
Kate laughs ticklishly again, as I trap her in my arms.
As I hug Kate like a treasure, I think back to what Victor called me to talk about yesterday.
FLASHBACK
Victor: I'm at a loss, should I let her continue as a fairytale keeper? Or-
Victor: That's why as a Crown member, I want to hear your opinions.
Victor: So, here this is for you. This is the fairytale keeper continuation agreement.
Ellis: …………
Victor: Ellis?
Ellis: Ah, no….
Ellis: I completely forgot that there was a way to quit being a fairy tale teacher.
But that was my mistake, and Kate was only supposed to be a fairytale keeper for a limited time limit.
So this is, an agreement to decide whether to she can continue as a fairytale keeper or to say goodbye.
Ellis: You want me to spend the day with Kate, and sign this if I think she should continue as fairytale keeper.
Ellis: If I think she shouldn’t continue as fairytale keeper then don’t sign it.
It seems like I can decide on my own, but I don't want to do that.
Because Kate’s feelings are more important than anything else.
(But...I never want to let you go.)
FLASHBACK ENDS
Kate can go anywhere.
That's why I don't want you to go anywhere.
(I couldn't get my thoughts together so I couldn't tell you, but I have to tell you today.)
Ellis: Kate.
— A stomach growled. Not mine, but Kate’s.
Kate: Ah, that....
Ellis: Hehe, so cute. Your stomach sounds are cute too.
Kate: ……Don't make fun of me.
Ellis: I'm not making fun, I really meant it.
Ellis: Kate, the weather is nice today, so let's have brunch outside.
Ellis: Also, there's something I want to talk to you about.
Kate: ...This is my agreement to continue as a fairytale keeper.
When I was full, I told Kate everything.
(Victor said it was a secret, so I'll have to apologize later.)
Then, Kate looked at me with an unwavering expression.
Kate: Ellis, you will stay at Crown forever, right?
Kate: Then I only have one choice…
Ellis: Wait a minute, Kate.
Kate: Ellis?
Ellis: I thought you would say that. Thank you, Kate.
Ellis: Besides, as long as I sign it, everything will have a happy ending.
Ellis: But I want you to choose.
Kate: Me, choose?
Ellis: Remember, you became a fairytale keeper by getting caught up in this.
FLASHBACK
It was the night of usual mission, just after the entirety of Crown had taken care of a certain target, Kate got lost in the
darkness.
William: What’s this? Aren’t you the Robin I met earlier today?
Kate: Ah…..oh……what?
FLASHBACK ENDS
Ellis: So now I want you to choose for yourself.
It's true that I want to value Kate’s feelings.
However, I have an ulterior motive.
(This will be the final decision, so I want Kate to choose me. Crown and I are best.)
(Being here is the happiest thing for you.)
Kate: All right Ellis, if that's the way you want it.
Ellis: I was wondering how I could make it easier for you to choose.
I suggested that Kate and I spend a day together for the final assessment.
During the day, we’ll go about Crown’s daily routine as usual.
Then from sunset until morning, Kate will live her daily life like she before meeting Crown.
Ellis: I thought it would make it easier to compare the two different lifestyles.
Kate: …..Definitely. It’s a good idea.
Ellis: Yay, I was praised. When should we start?
Kate: I want to prepare mentally, so what about starting tomorrow?
Ellis: Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Let’s start tomorrow.
(Kate, are you worried?)
I won't let go of you Kate, I won't.
(But maybe I'm just a little worried too.)
I hugged Kate's body and the tips of our noses touched.
Ellis: Tomorrow is the time to think about the future. For now, just think about me.
Kate: Ellis….mm..
And the next day, Kate and I's final fairytale assessment began.
Kate: It’s such nice weather! The weather is perfect, Ellis.
We spread out a picnic blanket and Kate stretches out on it.
(Kate is even more happy and cute when the weather is nice.)
(Ah, that's right.)
Ellis: Kate, can you close your eyes for a moment?
[Next] [Master List]
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Losing someone can be so beyond words. Here is some advice for losing a FP but it can probably be applied to losing someone in general!
Some things I like to remind myself are:
The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever.
You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.
Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.
Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.
Some things I do:
Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ! But maybe my list will inspire you to think of ideas for your own list!
Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.
Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.
Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.
Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral. Here’s my walk through on that.
I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.
This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I used to keep screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.
I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.
Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.
I know it's hard. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.
Here are some other coping ideas.
You can do this.
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hi!! could I request ayaka nsfw headcanons? thanks!
☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Ayaka x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Corruption kink, exhibition kink but it doesn't acc get acted upon 🤷♀️
☆ — NOTES: shut up omg another one I LOEV AYAKA THANK YOU
She seems like the type to be extremely vanilla at first, not bc she's scared (well no she is a lil bit) but bc she hasn't really? Had the chance to explore or anything??? But she seems like the type to be interested in it, just that she didn'r know HOW to explore it......until yk. You came along
She's like a willing subject to corruption, it's rather lovely 🫶
The way she'd approach you about it too 😭😭 like ohhh you're so precious my bbg :((( she'd breach the topic carefully, her cheeks tinted very red thanks to her skin betraying her and the blood that rushed to her face
Side track as much as I do adore Ayaka stumbling on her words and stuttering, I actually personally don't think she would unless she was EXTREMELY flustered or completely out of it. She's probably really good with forming sentences and stuff with very minimal stuttering, esp when she'd have to think ab her speech a lot to make sure she isn't offending anyone generally (I wish that were me cuz I stutter a LOT it's acc embarrassing)
So when she asks, she's VERY red but also very clear and concise with her speech. If it weren't for the embarrassed look on her face, if it weren't for her covering her face with her fan, you'd have thought that she wasn't shy about such an ask at all
It was hard to concentrate and gather your bearings at least a little bit when the soft scent of cookies and the mochi she had made a while ago never fails to overtake your train of thought, but you managed to pull through as you slowly undressed her.
"Are you completely sure?" You asked in concern for her, despite the fact that she had approached you about such a request, "I'm worried you might not like the experience. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable..."
She shook her head in reply, giving you a gentle smile, "I'm sure. I admit that I've been.. curious, and I trust you completely."
You couldn't help but soften at your white-haired partner's proclamation, giving her a lingering kiss on her temple, "Just remember to tell me if something feels wrong, you know I worry for you."
"I know," she giggled, "but you don't need to treat me like I'm fragile."
And before you reply in turn, Ayaka cuts you off by leaning her head on your shoulder, her lips close to your ear as she whispered in such a tantalising way--
"I'd like to think I can handle whatever you do to me."
--before drawing back with a much cheekier smile compared to moments before, "I hope that clears most of your reservations?"
By god, yes it does.
She turns out to be a FREAK❗️❗️❗️👹👹👹👹
No but fr though? I already wrote it but she def love love LOVEEEESSS being your good girl 🥰🥰🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 wants to do anything you ask her to do bc she wants to make you happy. Absolutely gets off to whenever you praise her for the stuff she does
But also? Kinda very much adores being roughed around!!! Being an important figure to Inazuma, she's not necessarily used to being treated anything less than with respect and caution, so for you to essentially make her forget all that as you "disrespect" her rank? Mmmmyes definitely Something :3
She's a very very curious person who's open to a LOT of things, going from binding to sensory deprivation to roleplay
Oh my GOD she'd ESPECIALLY be into roleplay; pretending as if she were someone else, esp if she was absolutely ravaged by you? My word it gets her wet just thinking about it
I think she'd LOVEEEE to be overstimmed 🫶🫶🫶 she wants a break from thinking!! She wants a break from responsibilities, and the way you can make it easily go away by fucking her brains out gets so addicting for this little princess
SHE'D DEFINITELY BE A SQUIRTER OH GY GOD fuck off listen she's def so so very sensitive that if you work her up enough (which doesn't acc take long) she would and she'd APOLOGISE for making such a mess but you just Cannot Help but try to get another one from her so it goes around alllll over again until she passes out :3
Don't think she'd act it out irl bc no way is she actually risking her reputation (and in extent, her brother's and her entire family name), but she'd develop?? A taste for exhibition???? Perhaps it's through the times you've just decided to drag her away to a semi-secluded spot, or maybe it's bc of the times she's touched herself while thinking of you with the risk of SOMEONE coming into her room. Either way, she starts to fantasize scenes from time to time where you're fucking her out in the open or you get caught or even that she's walking around with her pussy unknowingly stuffed with toys, who knows 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
If she doesn't tell you then she probably clues you in unconsciously when you start talking to her about how ANYONE could find you absolutely ruining this whore of a princess 🫶 by her inner walls clamping onto you as she lets out a particularly loud whine 🫶🫶🫶
Ayaka had tried to go back to sleep, she really did. But her thoughts had caught up to her, hazy made-up images and scenarios of the simplest thought of getting caught doing things unbefitting the White Heron Princess and her demure, innocent stature.
Even as she had her fingers inside her needy hole, even as she grinded on her palm in a deaperate effort to chase that needed release, she had found that she couldn't be satisfied in the least. The fact that she had to silence herself in an effort to prevent herself from getting caught didn't help with sorting out her current issue, either.
It wasn't enough—she needed you to satisfy her, to put her in her place, to take her fully until she could no longer care to think about anything else but being your personal doll. There was no way she was getting off all by herself, she needed you.
Biting the fabric of her blanket in an effort to stop her teary moans from being as loud as it would've been, she could only hope any pray that this aching need within her subsides in time before she has the chance to see you again.
(And perhaps she'll gather the courage to ask you about recreating.. a very exposing scenario, to sate her torturous curiosities.)
Bonus bullet point it'd be really cute to see her cry from the stimulation 🥰🥰
#hazy demos!#hazy explicits!#kamisato ayaka x reader#ayaka x reader#kamisato ayaka smut#ayaka smut#sub kamisato ayaka#sub ayaka#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact smut#sub genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin imagines#genshin smut#sub genshin#genshin women#genshin women x reader#genshin women imagines#genshin women smut#sub genshin women
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Bryan was an absolute star this gp, and it's only his 2nd one! Also, you have no idea for how long I've wanted for Charles to have a race engineer that would joke with him like GP does with Max and keep the atmosphere light, while still keeping the driver in check like with "microlocks in turn 5" for example. Bryan has been brilliant on both hearing Cahrles out/letting him decide things for himself, while also steering him in a strategic direction of his own decision, so they have been great as a team so far! And seeing Bryan crying after the race, oh my heart 🥹❤️ I hope they have many more successes together
The most important part of the race was when Bryan told Charles to remember to drink, he knew Charles was so locked in that Charles was probably forgetting that.
He's been doing a stellar job, they already work so well together and 2 races in have a win! I know this had to be a lot of pressure for Bryan's second race, he should be very proud of himself as well.
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When You Say Nothing At All
Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader
Summary: Just Azul's thoughts about you and your love for him.
Word Count: 900+
Notes:
Established relationship.
A/N:
Hi hi! It's been a while since I've written anything. Things happened IRL and.. well, I guess I've been having a writer's block? Sad 😭😭 Anyways, I was listening to my playlist "Old But Gold" while taking my shower and then the song "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating played, and then.. ting! This suddenly came to mind!!
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Azul liked to think he was a very capable man. He was quite intelligent and confident in his skills. A calculating man who always has a plan. It was how he earned his position as Housewarden of Octavinelle and how he was able to open his own restaurant inside the school.
He lived a busy life. Fulfilling his responsibilities as a student. Attending meetings and doing certain tasks as a housewarden. Being a manager and handling business at the Mostro Lounge. He definitely has a lot on his plate, especially right now with the major exams coming up. Add in his housewarden duties, increased consultations, and then the Lounge getting busier. Work just seemed to pile one after another at an increased rate, wearying him down.
Azul let out a soft sigh as he finally finished working on an important document. He gently set the pen down before slowly turning his head to look at his side.
Right there sitting beside him was you. His beloved. His sweetheart. His romantic partner.
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Azul was proud to say that you were the most pleasant change in his life. You made him feel happy. You made him feel loved. You made him feel safe. You were everything to him.
As his eyes trailed over your form, he noticed how cozy you looked, sitting with your legs up on the comfy chair that he specifically bought just for you while leaning against his side as you read your book. He felt his heart pound at the sight of you so close and comfortable with him.
Try as I may, I can never explain
Azul was a busy man and sometimes he couldn't help but feel guilty because of it. He felt that he was lacking as your partner because he couldn't always spend time with you as much as you want. Yet, you always stayed with him. Saying it was okay and that you understand. And that you'll always be by his side no matter what.
What I hear when you don't say a thing
He remembered that one moment during the early times of your relationship. Azul was suddenly swamped with things to do and had to reschedule your date. He felt terrible at having to do so, but you still smiled at him and said that it was alright. You then asked him if it was okay for you to hangout in the VIP Room with him while he worked. It had him confused. As much as he enjoys your company, he didn't want to bore you with just sitting there while he was busy working. You could be doing something else. Something more fun and enjoyable, and maybe in the company of others, but you said wanted to stay with him. You wanted to be around him even if it was just sitting in the same room in silence.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
Azul could never forget the bright smile on your face when he agreed to that. The way you suddenly jumped into his arms for a hug and his face a blushing mess as you beamed up at him. He saw how extremely happy you were with the idea of simply being together. You always loved being in his presence, and Azul loved being in yours as well. It was euphoric for Azul to know how much you were delighted to be with him.
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
You were honestly too good to be true. Azul sometimes wondered why you even chose him instead of the other people around you. As if hearing his thoughts, your head turned to look up at him and he could see the surprise in your eyes. His eyes gazed at your pretty ones and you stared back at him. It was as if you were trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Then Azul saw your lips curve into a smile. That gorgeous smile of yours that always made his heart leap. And in your eyes, he saw the complete and utter love you always had for him.
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
Your hand made its way to cup his cheek. When your skin touched his, Azul couldn't help but place his bare hand on top of yours as he leaned against your gentle touch and closed his eyes in relief. Moments like this reminded Azul of how much you truly loved him. That despite the ups and downs in life, you will always stay by his side.
You say it best
Azul opened his eyes slowly, revealing the blue irises that you always thought and said were pretty. Your face was the same as before, looking at him with a loving expression from the way your eyes gazed adoringly and the way your lips smiled warmly at him. It made him want to kiss you.
And he did.
He kissed you with all of his heart. He poured all his love and devotion for you into that sweet yet passionate kiss. And when you kissed him back with the same passion, his worries were gone in an instant. All that was left were the sparks and fireworks setting in his heart, knowing that you'll always love him as much as he'll always love you, even...
—when you say nothing at all.
Did you like my work? If you did, you can check out my blog for more! ^^
Masterlist here!
Thank you for reading! Love love!! 🩷💜
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#escha writes🩷
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have some silly skk wedding hcs bc. idk i just wanted to yell w someone abt them
chuuya cries in sporadic bursts the day of but taken altogether it's like 3 hrs of hysterical sobbing
dazai doesn't cry at all because he slips into like a shocked fugue state the second he sees chuuya but he DOES bawl like a baby the next morning
nobody who attended remembers past like hour 4 of the wedding and six months later they're still uncovering some of the wild shit they did during the afterparty. this is because the wedding staff accidentally became part of the celebration and the photographer, who was supposed to record the whole thing, ended up sleeping with one of the cast. it was kunikida.
just to be obnoxious ranpo proposes to poe and chuuya has to be held back by a crying w laughter dazai from Physically Attacking Him
dazai insists on having a bouquet to throw, which he purposefully angles for akutagawa to catch. atsushi faints, lucy's face progresses from angry -> considering in real time (they r a throuple real)
chuuya picks his best man/maid of honor fairly easily (hirotsu and kouyou duh) but dazai basically told the ada to figure it out amongst themselves and come back to him with their decisions (he's lazy/genuinely didn't know who to pick and wanted to outsource) and there was Actual Violence
lots of drama over whether or not to invite mori and verlaine. turns out to be a nonissue bc all verlaine does is cry in a corner about a) rimbaud and b) holy shit my little brother is getting married and after hour 6 mori and fukuzawa disappear from the event (neither they nor anyone else remembers this. very lucky)
ango receives an invitation with no context and has like 3 mental breakdowns about what this means for his and dazai's relationship
7 hours in (it was a long party) kenji's cow somehow shows up (he swears up and down it wasn't him, everyone's very confused the next morning)
it was a sunset wedding, dazai wore white and chuuya wore blue
adam and shirase and some other members of the sheep are there. adam makes fast friends with kyouka, meanwhile the former sheep are very narrowly spared dazai's wrath, mostly bc he keeps forgetting they're even there. it's a big wedding
tachihara tried to drunkenly breakdance, gin laughed so hard she thought she got heart palpitations and was afraid for her life. she went to look for mori and walked in on him and fukuzawa. none of them remember this but now gin feels a vague sense of horror every time she looks at her boss and she's not really sure why
yosano tries rizzing kouyou up and fails by any normal metric (yosano: please please please please please please please please please please) but kouyou is Tipsy and Charmed
dazai does indeed burn the marriage certificate (TRY RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT, CHIBI!!). chuuya is so in love he starts crying again
higuchi and tanizaki had philosophical discussions about life on the rooftop and accidentally solved the secrets of the universe. they do not remember this
kunikida returns from his steamy rendezvous with the photographer and immediately sets his sights on ango. drunk kunikida knows what he wants (twinkish men) and when he wants them (now). there is a reason one of the most important ideals in his notebook is to Not Drink
the guild is there and are generally having a good time until fitzgerald sees tsujimura (only there as ango's plus-one, got abandoned bc of drunk kunikida's machinations) and calls her a blue-haired liberal, and hey, what's a party without a brawl in the middle of the dance floor
between the guild and the wedding staff half the people at the party weren't even invited. which is why the doa and hunting dogs are also there
kenji, kyouka, q, elise, and aya are having a Kids' Party in a separate room with adam as an extremely enthusiastic babysitter (well, more like occasional check-in-er, he's swinging back and forth between the parties). tecchou joins them after a while and has a great time, as all except aya are extremely fascinated by his unholy food combinations
bram and lovecraft kickstart their enemies-to-lovers arc the second they set eyes on each other
fyodor, dazai, kajii, and nikolai start up a game of Knife Monopoly, to everyone's surprise the extremely determined caterer sweeps them all. sigma is smitten at once and immediately starts to flirt with her (the caterer is a milf who is seduced by sigma's transgender rizz, sigma will eventually have an entire 'convincing the stepkids' family movie arc)
teruko FUCKS IT UP on the dance floor, haruno is so impressed she immediately falls into her first disastrous sapphic crush
hirotsu and natsume mutually agree to restart their homoerotic situationship without ever even actually saying two words to each other, someone has to take skk's place now that they've more or less gotten their shit together
katai wasn't there physically but was supervising through security cameras. he's the only one who will ever know everything that happened that night and deleted the footage due to trauma :( sorry katai
tsujimura and mushitarou bond over how desperately they Do Not Want To Be There
skk Try to have a romantic wedding night(/morning, given how long the afterparty stretched) but they are both too drunk, chuuya trips and falls flat on his face and dazai laughs so hard he throws up
omg i started yapping and then i just didn't stop. i didn't even know i had this many thoughts in my head. i am sending this before i can regret it feel free to delete if u want to
anon. THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG???? i could literally visualize a whole fic just by reading these hcs
adding my comments under the cut so it doesn’t get too long 🫣
ok first of all… the skk crying hcs??? CANON OMG im so obsessed
Ranpo turning skk’s wedding into his engagement party is so true of him. he absolutely would
Dazai totally would insist on a bouquet to toss, & him throwing it at to Akutagawa is so funny 😭
SOMEONE SAVE ANGO PLS-
KENJI’S COW IM SOBBING it reminds me of that wan episode where Atsushi asks Dazai what Yosano needed & he was like “… a cow!” boba eyes & everything
i had never thought of Adam & Kyouka being buddies but my life is changed now tysm for this revelation
NOT GIN BEING SCARRED BY ZENKU SKK 💀 someone get my girl outta there
ok but tipsy + charmed Kouyou is a vision
Chuuya tells Dazai that burning the marriage certificate means they’re not married anymore & that’s when Dazai finally breaks down into tears
ok Higuchi & Tanizaki is another duo i never considered and i LOVE IT???
KUNIANGO SO TRUE
TSUJIMURA A BLUE HAIRED LIBERAL I AM SCREAMING
omg i love the kids party & skk are both good with kids so they definitely would make sure the kids are taken care of 🥹 Adam would be such a good babysitter, and Tetchou too??? omg giving me fic ideas with this one
super invested in this caterer x Sigma arc tbh
ykw i was thinking abt bsd rarepairs the other day & couldn’t figure out who to ship Teruko or Haruno with… should’ve thought of this honestly
SOMEONE SAVE KATAI TOO OMG THAT POOR MAN-
now that you mention it… i actually love the idea of Tsujimura & Mushitaro but i think it’s mostly bc her hair matches his suit PFFT
skk’s ideal honeymoon = SLEEP 😫
i’m so glad you didn’t stop yapping non, this was so wonderful tysm i feel blessed 🥹🩷 please feel free to yell abt hcs or say hi anytime!! 🫶🏻💕💕
#asks 💌#this absolutely made my day uwah 😭💕 tysm nonnie#100% gonna be thinking about these for the next few days. this was so soft & wholesome i feel healed <333#wedding anon#<-if you’d like a different tag pls let me know <333#bsd#skk#skk hc#skk headcanons
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[Day 27] Hermitaday - Scar Goodtimes! Scar is showing Bdubs how to use his crutches!
~~~
It’s a pretty good day for Scar, so he’s ok with just using his cane today. As he was putting his crutches away, Bdubs came up and asked if it was ok to try them. Scar was overjoyed that someone showed interest in learning more about his disability, especially since most of the hermits just ignore it (which he likes more if he’s being honest), but it’s nice to be able to share about it and teach people.
"Of course!" Scar exclaimed while waving a big grin spread across his face. "Let me just adjust the height for you," he added with a soft laugh. Bdubs pouted a little, but Scar could see he was actually super excited. With a practiced ease, Scar lowered the height of the crutches and passed them over to Bdubs.
Bdubs grabbed the crutches with an excited giggle and slipped his arms through the cuffs. "Is this right?" He asked looking over at Scar.
"Other way around. I can never remember, so I put stickers on the cuffs. Stickers on the outside so everyone can see their whole glory," Scar quipped with a laugh. Bdubs nodded and switched the crutches with a small smile and a tear in his eye. "Oh Bubbles, what's wrong?"
Bdubs looked up at Scar with a light stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. "How do you do it, Scar? This looks so simple but I feel like it'd be exhausting pretty quickly."
Scar quickly pulled Bdubs into a soft hug and nodded lightly, "It is hard. No one ever wants to talk about it, and it can be relieving sometimes, just forgetting about it all, but at the end of the day, it'll always be there. Some days are better than others for sure, but even then, even like today, it's still rough. But listen to be Bdubs," he started before taking a step back and lifting Bdubs head with his finger. "You asking, you caring, and you coming to me and just being here makes it so much better. It will always be hard, definitely exhausting, but people caring and being there for me makes it better."
A gentle clatter could be heard as the crutches fell to the carpeted floor as Bdubs wrapped his arms around Scar. Scar whipped his tears away and hugged Bdubs back tightly. "Thank you, Scar." Bdubs mumbled into Scar's shirt.
Scar chuckled softly as he picked up his crutches from the floor and offered them to Bdubs again, "wanna give them another go~?"
~~~
Sooo like I know this is daily bdubs, but this one means a lot to me. Scar is an amazing public advocate for people like me. He proves that disabled people can do things. Disabled isn't useless. And that is really important to me. I work full time but that's only because I push myself through my pain and exhaustion becuase of an ablist manager. But people like Scar who just live their best lives reguardless of their disability and are just truly happy.. those are the people I look up to the most.
The crutches are based off mine but I just changed the stickers and bracelets. Idk if they can be seen or understood very well but I tried :)
So yeah. Hermitaday - Scar Goodtimes featuring a new style type, a drabble, and some crying me.
♡ thanks for reading
#bdoubleo#hermitaday#hermitcraft#day 27#scar#goodtimeswithscar#goodtimewithscar fanart#you are not immune to the goodtimes#disability#crutch user#cane user#i cried so much drawing and writing this#i need a bdubs like this in my life#drabble#hermitcraft fanart#not hermitshipping
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So because someone (@theblabarmy hope it's ok to tag) wanted to know. Um. I should make a self indulgent post about my brainchild on this blog. I guess. I have a side blog for her/sso related stuff (@vilda-ravenhill) but still. Hey.
So to preface Star Stable Online is an open world mmorpg about being the Chosen One horse girl who has to fight the bad guys. It's badly written but unfortunately really well concept'd. Got some good art direction. About half the character designs are ass and the other half are genius. Sometimes for the wrong reasons. The gameplay is fine. The fandom does nothing but complain and the creators are so sensitive that they keep listening to bad complaints just because they sound angry. It's got one hundred thousand lore retcons. There are books. The book lore doesn't match the game lore. It's a weird game. I've loved it since I was in like fourth grade and trying to survive being bullied so it's definitely special to me anyway ok more under cut this is long
It gets weird when it comes to the plot though. Cus, well basically it's like this: the whole plot takes place on a fictional island called Jorvik. Somewhere between Norway and England. Its its own country. Its rural and there's like one mall on the whole island. And on this island there are druids that know like actual nature magic and shit? And there's a nature goddess called Aideen, and she has a prophecy that four girls and four horses, called the Soul Riders, are gonna save the world or whatever. These Riders change with time when they get old and die and have to find new ones, but the Soul Horses reincarnate for some reason? Like they can remember their past lives and shit.
So there's this hippy nature cult around Aideen where some of the druids are devoted specifically to her and to training/protecting the Soul Riders, and they're called the Keepers of Aideen, okay. And each Soul Rider has a unique power with it's own symbol so there's like the Star rider the Sun rider etc and they do different things.
But as it turns out there's a secret second prophecy that says there's a FIFTH rider who's like super duper important and knows all FOUR magic circles and that's the player character. Who. Turns out. Is also reincarnating? Like you meet your own previous reincarnation in game and it's the dead mother of a character you already know. Star Stable is bad until it suddenly makes a U turn and does something really clever and there's so much potential and that's what drives me insane.
And there's also this other dimension called Pandoria? And it's got people in it too but Pandorians can't survive on earth because they're dearly allergic to time, yes, literally to time, and humans who stay in Pandoria for too long get very sick and their magical ability goes haywire. There's a pandorian on Jorvik who has created a bubble where time doesn't exist, and he just hangs out and occasionally tries to kill you.
There's also an in between void dimension full of literally nothing that you have to go through to get to Pandoria. Like it's The Void it's The Nothing it's The Fog. There are these magical trees that grow on Jorvik but that reach all the way into Pandoria through The Void and they've got a whole root system there. You can apparently get lost in The Void and never return. It's actual Limbo and it just hangs out there.
Oh and lets not forget the evil counter-cult masquerading as an equally evil oil company (sso has an environmentalist message) that have four DARK RIDERS and DARK HORSES and DARK EVIL VERSIONS OF THE GOOD MAGIC like Dark Sun and Dark Star I shit you not, and they worship an evil chaos god called Garnok who is Literally Just Cthulhu, and their leader is a little too into it for some reason, and also witches exist and they're sometimes evil sometimes not but also they're always evil but that got retconned because star stable is not a good game and keeps contradicting itself and never does anything with its potential or characters or story because it's bad okay holy shit Tumblr doesn't like it when I write this much text hold on I'm gonna continue in a reblog
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Feeling worthless (vent art)
Been dealing with medical issues and that shit makes me feel TIRED and YUCK!
#my oc art#tw vent#personal vent#vent#nose bleeds#fish woman#koi#koisuni#man is it possible to get good sleep#like#i go to sleep#wake up#and still eepy af#and then i stand for a little too long and body goes#ew why stop that go lie down stinky#and then i do and feel bad about myself#and then the mind fog i get is horrendous like wow i cant remember shit and#i forget important things that i want to remember#like all the foods my boyfriend likes#but sometimes i forget if he likes or dislikes something and surprises get ruined that way#cuz i have to ask!!#also he showed me a rock i apparently gave him and i couldnt remember but i tried so hard to#im not amnesia level but my hippocampus is struggling bro!#doctors were like yeah that shit small#is this even how tumblr tags work#i see people talk thru them so idk#i hope im doing a tumblr right
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Ppl going "waaahh unpopular opinion but Alice is kind of annoying and obnoxious and I don't think I'd like be her friend irl" is so funny to me bc like.
God forbid a cast of characters be multifaceted and have actual flaws and unpleasant aspects other than "grr angsty hero" and "whoops i'm so clumsy". Sometimes character dynamics and arcs need to be prioritized above "who would i personally be niceys with irl"
2. bro just WAIT until you hear about season 1 jon lol
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#season 1 jon was obnoxious and sometimes a straight up ASSHOLE and you were supposed to find him kinda grating!!!#yes alice IS a bit annoying and too much sometimes (esp in the first episodes) and i love that <3#like. its p obvious that she uses the over the top-thing as a shield (to push ppl away/as a defense mechanism/to avoid being vulnerable)#we see her drop the act sometimes w ppl like teddy and sam who she actually feels comfortable around (and who know and understand her)#but like. she's stuck in a job she hates and is kind of afraid of (she KNOWS smth abt the horrors and is keeping her head down to survive)#(shes obviously afraid of sam going to far bc she KNOWS its dangerous)#so yes her act gets too much sometimes and yes sometimes she crosses the line into straight up mean (esp against gwen)#(but their dynamic is a whole other can of worms)#but like. i'm pretty sure its supposed to be seen that way. the audience isnt supposed to just find her kooky funny#the facade is supposed to be dismantled by the viewer etc etc#kind of like SEASON 1 JON the obnoxious bastard!!!!!!!#like. if you ever think alice is too mean towards gwen pls listen to s1 jon again and how he speaks abt martin??#from a position as his boss no less? ngl i wanted to throttle him sometimes#you kinda forget abt it in the later seasons and if you only engage w fandom content. but like. go back and listen to the shit#he actually says. jesus christ man. i remember kinda hating him in the beginning#and to be clear i love jon! i think hes a great character!#and like. its almost as if his early season personality and facade was an important setup for his character development#and relationships with the other characters???#but anyway 'alice is kind of annoying' is not an unpopular opinion its literally the FUCKING POINT#and both her and jon are my sweet baby angels <3#alice dyer#jon sims#(and obviouslyyy you're still allowed to dislike a character ppl can have their own opinions etc etc etc. i just personally find it funny)
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Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König
I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!
When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.
Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.
Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.
#cod#cod x reader#konig#könig#konig x reader#könig x reader#he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again#I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again#just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about#könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent#I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier#because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well#and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself?#I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right#it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too#but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write#I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to#was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then#so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important!#either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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I love you winter!
I love you, first snowfall of the season. I love you, powdery snow and frozen grass in the mornings. I love you, pink and purple sunsets. I love you, heavy snowfall. I love you, waking up in the morning to find a thick blanket of untouched white snow. I love you, skiing trips through the woods. I love you, hot berry juice. I love you, making running steps through the untouched snow to see how far you can leap. I love you, frost and snow in the tree branches making everything look glistening and perfect. I love you, grey cloudy days when everything looks monochrome except for the red trunks of the pines. I love you, downhill skiing. I love you, trying out new routes and tricks while downhill skiing and getting out of my comfort zone! I love you, hot chocolate and whipped cream. I love you, great tits and magpies flying about looking for food. I love you, clear days when the sky is blue and you remember how beautiful it really is. I love you, heavy snowfall illuminated by the street lamps at night. I love you, walking on the sea ice and lake ice and accessing places I never could before. I love you, glögi. I love you, snowflakes and inspecting your patterns. I love you, steaming hot saunas. I love you, ice swimming, even though you also frighten me! I love you, fairy lights in the trees. I love you, wind-carved waves and shapes in the snow. I love you, blue hour. I love you, warm blankets. I love you, tiny black streams still staying unfrozen and moving. I love you, icicles and other beautiful ice formations. I love you, crown snow-load and thick snow covering the trees. I love you, northern lights. I love you, fireplaces. I love you, waking up in the middle of the night in your warm bed, finding the house completely quiet as you walk through the hall, and upon looking out the window, all you can see is the calm snow slowly making its way to the ground, illuminated by the colourful fairy lights and the orange street lights. And you get this magical feeling inside of you, that you’re so warm, and calm, and perfectly safe and sound in this very moment. And you feel like you could stand there forever and just… take it all in.
I love you winter!
#parting words to the past season.#i would already consider it “spring” right now. heck; a week and a half ago is when spring started beginning this year i would say#however! the infamous “backwinter” surprised me and every other finn this past weekend and i wanted to say a few words about winter#just a little parting gift! it was so lovely of winter to pay a final visit before going away for a bit#i know northern lights and ice swimming might be a bit on the nose to some folks who live more south but these are all things ive done and#felt and seen and not just vague romantic winter-related terms ^^’#there is probably more things i love about winter im forgetting here. but no matter! i will remember next winter im sure :]#i want to do this for every season because i greatly enjoy all of them for many reasons#important
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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drew this at 3am in pitch black
#ugly scribbly drawing with big animu eyes = vent art usually so ignore the rest#it hurts being pushed to the back and treated as filler space and not someone who is worth knowing#ik sometimes ppl forget but then i see them putting in the effort to remember things abt other friends and recall them easily#and u kno all those small actions ppl give that show u arent a part of the /main/ group add up over time and wears u down#it all just means im not important enough#it makes me not wanna say anything abt myself bc i know ppl will just disregard it#ik i wouldnt be able to handle it but people who easily become the core part of groups and are missed when not around are so so cool#i dont need that necessarily but if i want to exist beyond a name and a face i need to earn it through constant draining effort#and it often feels easier to just not try bc most ppl will still see me as a background character#im done being annoying now have a nice timezone#my art
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