so upset and disgusted my stomach hurty </3

Can I get some cheater!zeke who has a whole wife and kids and is cheating on her with yn by had no clue and think that he doesn’t what to be seem in public with her because he embarrassed of her and is scared to ask him why btw him and why have a kid on the way and while reader is about to have her kid she find out about his kids and wife and he want to give him and his wife marriage a second chance leaving yn a single and heartbroken new mom with no help from anyone 🫦😋😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🍕🍕🔥🍕🍕🍕🍕😋😋😋😋🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛

LMAOO THIS IS SO MUCH but alright since it’s my first request 😋!!!

The Other Woman.

cheater!zeke x afab!reader

long!, toxicity, cheating, profanity, pregnancy, mentions of pregnancy, angst.

Feb, 25.

you stood in the grocery store, searching for food that would last at least for the month. being low on budget, and having to provide for your unborn baby, you sighed to yourself. zeke apparently had some things to do while you went to the store, so that’s why he couldn’t go with you. you waited in line for the next person to move up so that you could finally pay for the things you needed after having them scanned.

“lovely day, isn’t it?” the cashier spoke to you with a nice smile. you slowly nodded and sucked in air through your teeth. “could be better, but every day is better than the last, right?” you softly laughed.

it was only your third month of being pregnant, you didn’t completely hate it. you loved your child, with all your heart. but you hated the feeling of going out, and having no one with you. all your friends are out and eventually just stopped talking to you ever since the pregnancy hit. ‘we’ll always be here for you.’ yeah that was some bullshit they said to you, only to help you feel better for that first week.

and as the day passes by, you finally made it where you couldn’t be bothered by anyone, other than your boyfriend, zeke. you’d been dating for a year or so, and it was real ruthless of you to get knocked up that quickly, but what else could you do? there’s no going back now. no type of going back that you’d wanna take the chances of.

“did you get the food for today? i told you i’d go out to get it later on after i came from running errands.” he said before standing up and planting a small kiss on your cheek. he’d just walked through the front door, and you’d already put everything where it needed to be. you slowly reached down and felt the small, but there, bump on your stomach. “you were taking too long, and i was hungry. both of us.” you glanced up at him while rubbing your stomach.

zeke hummed before turning to go to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee. “well, still.” he said from the kitchen. you smiled a little to yourself, for whatever reason.

now it wouldn’t be a big problem to the average pregnant girlfriend. your boyfriend just wants to care for you and let you rest and blah blah blah, but the more you thought about it, ever since you got pregnant, zeke didn’t wanna go in public with you. and of course it sounded dumb when you scribbled all that into your mind three months later.

May, 29.

you stared at your, now medium visible belly as you lifted your shirt. it was another rainy day, and zeke still hadn’t come back from wherever he left from. he didn’t even tell you he was leaving, he just left before you even got out of the shower. and when he arrived, he brought you flowers. only to distract you from being mad at him.

you looked over to your room door as it opened, zeke coming in with a green and yellow bouquet of flowers. like every time he left without warning. you wouldn’t even bother to ask him where he was, if you hadn’t caught on to whatever he was doing.

“where have you been?” you ask nicely, not wanting to start anything too serious. “out, why? i got you flowers.” he smiled, pulling you into a soft hug. you kept your hands crossed as you smiled and nodded, awkwardly. “yeah… zeke, listen, i don’t want you to get mad at me but i feel like you’ve been going out way too much and-“

“way too much? what am i, y/n, a child?” zeke placed the flowers on the bed before taking off his tie to his suit and putting it on the vanity. “no, no, i’m not saying that. i’m saying, i feel like i should know where you are when you just up and leave like that. because sometimes i get worried, and it’s not really helping my stress levels.” i you say, sitting down on the end of your bed.

“you worry too much.”

you bit your lip softly and looked to the side. “it’s for a good reason… is…” you hesitate to say what’s on your mind. “is that why you’ve been going out more? to go in public, like… without having me around?-“

“gosh, y/n, you’re acting like a damn child. what has gotten into you? is it that baby inside of you making you act like that?” zeke chuckled and shook his head while changing clothes as he walked around the room. your eyes followed him. “i’m sorry that i’m worried for your safety, but i wanna make sure you’re not uncomfortable with being around me.” you frown and look at him.

“what makes you think i’m not? oh, just because i don’t wanna go out with you all the time, or because i don’t wanna be with you 25/8? shit, gimme a break. i’ve been working my ass off, and i don’t always need to be with you. we are a couple. i trust you and you trust me. i love you.” and that’s all he said before moving you over a little to lie down in bed, where he didn’t even say goodnight or give you a kiss, like he used to.

you looked at him for a moment before laying down in bed, closing your eyes. what else could you do?

Aug, 30

birth, your boyfriend, those two things didn’t match did they? no. because your boyfriend wasn’t there with you. he took you to the hospital, mikasa visited you, she was sitting on the couch that was in front of the hospital window, finally not smothering your newborn son. your baby was laying in another small baby bedding beside your bed.

your body hurt, and you could honestly barely move your legs. you sighed and didn’t dare look at your phone. he wasn’t there for the birth or the labor. he was just gone. “you sure you don’t want a burger or something?” mikasa asked you as she walked over to you. “you don’t have to sulk about zeke, be happy that your sons here.” she rubbed your hand as you nodded slowly, staring into space.

“mhm.” you hummed, barely listening to her. mikasa stared at you for a second before sighing. “i’m gonna go get you some food, you haven’t eaten in hours. i’ll be back, okay?” she gave you a forehead kiss before walking towards the door and leaving.

you bit your lip as your gaze moved over to your son. you haven’t even been able to pick a name for the little fella. because you didn’t have help from anyone, and you didn’t have any names on your mind. you smiled weakly at him, even though he was peacefully asleep. “i love you.” you whispered at him before looking down at your phone as it vibrated.

‘Zeke❤️’

you stared at the contact before exhaling and answering, ready to complain and confront the man about leaving you randomly.

“where are you? i’ve been trying to reach you for hours and you haven’t been answering the phone. you didn’t even get to see the birth of your-“

“excuse me, who is this?” a female voice said over the phone. your heart almost dropped to your stomach. “uh, who is this?” you squinted as if whoever she was, was right in front of you.

“zeke’s wife… why do you keep contacting my husband?” she asked over the phone before you heard zekes voice in the background.

“who is it, babe?” you heard faintly before hearing the cheering laughter of two seemingly toddlers, maybe one child. “daddy’s gonna get you!” you heard before hearing a child scream of laughter.

yeah, you could feel your heart break into ten different pieces, maybe add a few thousands. “some woman by the name of… y/n? that’s what it says in your phone.” you heard her say before it sounded like she put the phone on the counter. “are you still talking to that girl? i thought you said you were gonna stop talking to her and start the marriage with me again.” the woman said before you heard zeke smack his lips. “i love you, she’s… wait.” he said.

you heard someone pick up the phone and you didn’t even realize that tears were flooding your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. you sniffed as your lip twitched and your eyebrows furrowed. “y/n?-“

you hung up. you wanted to throw your phone, but even God knows that it’ll be a long time before you got a new one. you blocked his contact and put your phone beside you, slightly sitting up.

you tried to take a deep breath in to calm yourself down. bad decision. because when you did, that’s when you broke down. “oh my god…” you whispered through your sobs before looking at your son and trying your best to stay quiet. you shook your head slowly before putting it in your hands.

it was heartbreaking. really. how could you go two years and nine months without knowing that there was someone else?

that he loved the other woman, and didn’t care about you enough to love you.

sorry this took so long 😓 i have a couple requests and dk what to do BUT i’ll have the rest of y’all’s requests done, i promiseee!!

acquainted | two

> series masterlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 2.0k

warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, per usual

tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You decided to stay behind with Jimin to get some homework done at the library. You were super tired, being that work earlier in the day was jam-packed with problems left and right. You literally felt like you had no time to take a breather up until now, if this is even considered a breather. You've also been feeling a little behind on your school work, and you knew trying to get this done at home wouldn't do you any good right now. You definitely wouldn't get anything done.

But damn, going home after grabbing your groceries and grubbing on some sushi and wine sure sounded nice as hell. Oh well, at least it'll be worth it.

As you sit in the far corner of the library with Jimin's back facing the entrance, you spot Mr. Kim walking towards the doors with another professor. You continue to write your notes as much as possible, but the distraction was evident and you weren't even mad at it. You continue to glance at him, just because he was simply nice to look at it, as he stood, hands in pockets while he laughed along with professor in front of him. Jimin raises his eyebrow and follows your glance, shaking his head at how blatantly obvious you were being.

"Y/N, really?" You were pulled out of your trance.

"Sorry."

"You literally can't be any more obvious." He laughed as he continued to write his notes.

"He's just nice to look at."

"Yes, I've heard." He snorted. "He's like, the talk of campus right now."

"See, and to think Taehyung was the only news that got around."

"God forbid he hears his spotlight has been taken away." Jimin responds sarcastically to match your tone. Mr. Kim glances over and coincidentally catches you looking at him, so he flashes that smile of his before returning his attention to the other professor. You return the favor toothlessly as he walks out of the library, bringing your attention back to the papers in front of you. "Stop!"

"I'm sorry, I really am." You laugh at Jimin's flustered look.

"You and Ryujin need to keep it in your pants."

"Calm down, we are." You rose your eyebrow. "But, let's just say he is single-"

"I'm not even gonna have this conversation with you right now."

"Hear me out." He sighs before looking up at you. "I would literally ride his face and bust it open for that man 24/7. Better yet, I'd ride him into the sunset. I would literally give it all to him, if given the opportunity." There's a slight pause before Jimin responds.

"Are you finished?"

"I think so."

"Never again am I giving you the benefit of the doubt." He waves his hand to dismiss that entire portion of the conversation, but hey, you were just being honest. A little too honest, but sometimes you just had to let it out. "Anyways, what are you doing after this?"

"I have a date with Trader Joes, then I'm gonna meet up with sushi and wine and hang out on my couch." Jimin chuckles.

"Fun."

"What about you?"

"Just head home, probably hop on Monster Hunter and hunt with Taehyungie."

"Sounds productive." You nodded in agreement.

"Wanna have dinner soon? You cook, I clean?" He smirked.

"Or.. you cook, I clean, or we can order take-out. Those are the only two options."

"Actually, I'm not opposed to cooking."

"Just let me know, date and time." He nods. Sooner or later, you both are checking the clock and packing up by the time you realize it's 7:30pm. You figured now would be a good time to grab your groceries since the rush has probably died down. You had quite the list of groceries to grab and you were feeling relieved that you could finally make the time to go.

When you arrive, the lot is still slightly full of cars, but you easily grab a spot on the other end of the lot. You tucked your jacket tightly against your body before grabbing a cart for all your needs. You can't lie, this is pretty soothing to you and you're pretty excited to walk up and down the aisles, browsing at all the unnecessary items you'll probably end up throwing in your cart. I mean, why the hell not? It only means your cabinets and fridge would be stocked for awhile—

"Oops, so sorry." You're pulled out of your exciting thoughts when you accidentally bump into someone trying to step back and bend down for some black truffle alfredo sauce on the bottom shelf.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You recognized that voice. Easily. Slowly turning, you see Mr. Kim and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Your body goes hot and you can't help but feel incredibly embarrassed for having literally bumped into him, yet again. He must be so damn tired of running into you already.

"Oh my god, I did it again." You facepalmed, causing him to chuckle. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, at least it was softer this time. And you're empty-handed." You flash him a worried look. "I'm kidding, Miss Y/L/N. I promise it's not a big deal." Your expression softened. You can't help but marvel at his beauty and how truly flawless he was.

"You must probably hate me already."

"Well, I don't hate anyone for one thing, and two, I don't think there's any way that I can hate you." You softly smile at him.

"I swear I'm not doing this on purpose, Mr. Kim. I'll be more careful--"

"Call me Jin."

"Jin?"

"Mr. Kim doesn't exist if we aren't in the classroom." You nodded as you followed his lead with your cart.

"Alright, Jin. Well, I promise I'm not doing this on purpose."

"Sure about that?"

"100%." You both laughed before there was a slightly awkward pause. "Sooo, grocery day for you, too?"

"Mmm, yeah I figured I might as well since I'm still in the area."

"Do you live nearby?"

"About 25 minutes away or so in Orinda. You?"

"Yeah, right up in the Oakland hills."

"Beautiful area, I gotta say."

"It is. Sometimes, it has its days. Still can't hate it though." He nodded. You had both pushed your carts towards the cashiers at this point, and you took notice of the ring on his finger. Bummer, you jokingly thought. That would have been fun. You internally chuckle at Ryujin's hoe ass ways rubbing off on you, but at the same time, could you really expect a man like him to be single? Fucking kidding me? "Did you grab everything you needed for you and your wife?" You don't know what takes over you, but the question is already out there. No take-backs.

"Uh," He chuckles nervously as he scratches the nape of his neck. "Fiancé, so not entirely there yet. But yes, yes I did. Did you?"

"Yeah, I'm done. Or, I should be, so I don't grab more things that I don't need." You pointed down at your cart. You both fall in line together, with Jin going first. Afterwards, he grabs his bags and lingers around at the end of the cashier.

"Let me grab those for you and walk you to your car."

"I got it."

"No, I got it." He insists as he gently grabs the bags from you. "Besides, it's dark out."

"Thank you, I really do appreciate it. But, I don't wanna take more time out of your day. I am a grown woman who can handle it, you know?" You chuckle.

"Yeah, I know. And you're also a grown woman who lives in this world and it's close to 9pm." He looked down at you as he continued to follow you to your car on the other end of the lot. What a gentleman. Honestly, everything you told Jimin earlier stands and this man was doing nothing but proving your ass right. He could really get it.

When you finally arrived at your car, he placed your bags in your trunk and shut it close.

"What's next, gonna make sure I get home safely?" You joked, but you were silently cursing yourself because your flirting had been a little rusty and this was not it, miss.

"I mean, I would if you really needed me to for safety reasons."

"Well, that's sweet, but I'll be alright. Thank you, though." He nodded.

"You sure?"

"I promise."

"Lots of promises being made tonight Miss Y/L/N, please don't let me down."

"Just call me Y/N." You gave him a reassuring nod.

"Lots of promises being made tonight Miss Y/N, please don't let me down." He repeated, smiling from ear to ear.

"I won't." You took one last look at him. "Thank you again. Not sure how else I can thank you for taking the time out of your evening to do this." You open the door to the driver's side, with Jin holding it open for you as you step in and situate yourself in the seat.

"It's not a problem at all. Drive home safely."

"You too. See you tomorrow?"

"See you in class." He shuts your door and winks before walking off. With that, you had driven off to grab your dinner and head home. What the hell just happened? It seemed like the most basic thing, but you couldn't shake off how sweet his gestures were tonight. Damn, has it really been that long since you've gotten any type of action?! You couldn't help but think of his fiancé and how she must be so happy to have someone like him by her side. Not gonna lie though, you feel a little heartbroken about it.

"He's engaged." You drank a huge gulp of your wine as you facetimed with Ryujin. She snorted and shook her head. "Our fine piece of eye candy is engaged."

"Y/N, I love you, and he was such a gentleman for that, but you're such a hoe." She laughed louder. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? He is a grown ass man with a fiancé and he's our teacher! You need to stop having these impure thoughts."

"Shush, it's harmless. I was just entertaining myself with the what if's."

"Please. I know you. None of these what if's ever stay what if's. Your curiosity always gets to the best of you." Her tone rose playfully.

"What if I just want to have a one-on-one session with him?"

"See, there it goes. One-on-one over what? How to get dicked down properly?"

"No. To get to know him better as our p r o f e s s o r."

"Okay and why wasn't Dr. Bliss on your 'get to know me' list?"

"That's different."

"How?" You laugh. This kind of behavior was unexpected from Ryujin. You didn't think she'd be so against your hoe-ish thoughts. "There's open office hours for that, or maybe yet, a google sheet for him to get in contact with his students so he could set up time with everyone!"

"We're overthinking this."

"We? You. I know you want that ass."

"Stop, no!"

"Mhm, and he probably would too if you gave him the green light cause you're hot as hell." This sounded more like Ryujin. "This is some good, wild shit."

"Oh hush, no it's not. No one wants anything, no one is doing anything and no one should be doing anything."

"Wait till Jimin and Tae hear your thoughts." She laughed out loud once more.

"That's why they aren't on this call." You groaned. "You know what, I need to not talk about this anymore. I'm gonna go sit in a hot, relaxing bath. Goodbye."

"With Mr. Kim?"

"Bitch, alone. Bye." You chucked your phone to the side and shook your head. Where that conversation go? Absolutely nowhere. You were having a tiny crush on your professor and that was it. This too shall pass.

But lowkey, you'd risk it if he gave you the opportunity.

"You don't do that shit, Y/N. Not to anyone." You harshly whisper to yourself to shake the thoughts out of your head and get your bath started. You just don't do that shit to people who are engaged, let alone in relationships. You don't wreck the home they've built from the ground up.

I repeat: you don't lose that respect.

the progression of things - discarded scenes

this is a dump post for scenes that were in the original draft, but never made it to final version of the fic. they bear no connection to the final version of "the progression of things”, but i liked them enough that i couldn’t bear just deleting these scenes (TPOT underwent a lot of editing and rewrites) ;_; they were part of the original premise where I wrote Miyano as ace/demisexual, but in the end it didn’t work out ;_;

click on the “read more” link if you’d like to read them, but take note, they’re were part of the rough draft, hence are extremely unpolished. 

Miyano remembers being fifteen, his school bag heavy on his shoulders, but his heart heavier in his chest. Every day he looks at the mirror in his bathroom and wonders why he was cursed with such feminine features, a smaller build than the rest of the boys in his school; everything on his face seemed wrong as though nature forgot to switch its genetic code back to “MASCULINE, MALE” when constructing his face.

He couldn’t blame his parents, they never had any say in what he’d look like when he was born, and his mother would be heartbroken to hear that her son, bearing such resemblance to her looks, actually hated his own.

But as slightly estranged as he was from his middle school classmates when his looks came up as a topic of conversation, Miyano still heard Things whispered amongst his peers, seen Things even, when his classmates included him in their weekly get-together to ogle at printed materials meant for a demographic way beyond their age.

In the flush of youth, where the boys in his class pondered over their body anatomy, fascinated with nature, and looked to adult magazines (stolen from their older sibling’s stash) for enjoyment, Miyano pondered over the harsh reality of his feminine features, upset but resigned with nature, and looked to fashion magazines (taken with permission from his mother’s collection) for pointers on how Not to appear even more like a girl.

(His father’s copies of Business Weekly helped a little too, even if only to remind Miyano how top businessmen in the country dressed for a business photoshoot with the press – suit, tie and expensive watch peeking from the cuffs.)

When the passage of time came and went and Miyano entered high school, he discovered the world of Boys Love manga and dedicated his free time to understanding the intricacies of this fascinating genre. Being a minor, the type of print he could obtain were fairly sweet and innocent, nothing too explicit save for some scenes that took place on a bed, the protagonists’ modesty preserved with a flimsily drawn blanket over their nude bodies.

Occasionally, a book or two with explicit content would make their way to his collection. The internet was also a place full of wonders and possibility, and once or twice Miyano would (secretly) look up the famous series promised with rave reviews, but somehow, Porn Without Plot never really stuck to his repertoire.

Even after becoming of age, Miyano still finds himself gravitating towards the safety that comes with the PG-13 books. There is a strange sort of comfort in consuming fiction that depicts love as something simple and uncomplicated, straightforward and representation that love– intimacy did not necessarily come hand in hand with sexual acts. Intimacy could exist with or without sexual acts and vice versa, whatever floats your boat, really.

For Miyano, it was always the build up leading to that ultimate confession scene (at the rooftop, under the cherry blossom tree by the school yard, the back of the school gym, endless options) that grabbed him by the feels and punted him into the sun. That’s where the highlight is!! He once told Sasaki, unable to hold back on his excitement that twinkled in his eyes.

And identifying all the event flags leading up to that very moment of their first kiss? Unparalleled. Truly the best of all scenes there is. Peak romance. The bedroom scenes (few and rare in his possession) are really just a bonus.

So, while his peers continued to chat about going through the motions in bed, the closest miyano could ever try to relate to during those conversations was the intimacy that came along with the idea of sexual intercourse.

-------------------------------------

The moment Miyano is done with the last of his midterms and bids his notes goodbye (for now), Sasaki magically appears beside him and whisks him away to the nearby izakaya for a celebratory dinner.

“For getting through the first midterm week of your life~” His giant baby boyfriend coos, ever so sweet like the cakes he bakes.

Miyano pretends to be exasperated, shoulders dramatically slumping over the sticky izakaya table, but his heart knows better. It’s been one month since he’s started college (the one Sasaki also so happens to attend, not a coincidence at all), and the privilege of having more time to spend with one another makes Miyano giddy with happiness.

Gone are the days Miyano can only meet his favourite senpai for a handful of hours after club activities until the reality of their courseload slaps them in the face; gone are the days they have to rely on telephone calls and text messages, where the minutes and seconds flashing across the screen serve as an unforgiving reminder of the time they have left before they have to part ways.

It’s all gone now. Sasaki sits before him, in the flesh, and Miyano has always felt that seeing Sasaki’s smile in person would always be different from seeing it on screen. The grainy pixels on his phone can never do those handsome features justice, nor can it the warmth blooming behind his breastbone whenever Sasaki threads their fingers together and walks him all the way back to his dorm.

The freshmen all share a common dormitory block separate from the rest of the college students, something about building connections and getting to know each other better, so Sasaki insists on walking Miyano back to his room before he makes the trek all the way back to his own. The night is young, the dorms are peacefully quiet, and everyone is probably still out in town having a good time.

---------------------------

Loathe as he is to do so, Miyano makes the executive decision to drop by the bookstore one afternoon to try and consult a few adult BL manga. It’s the worst idea he could ever come up with, he hates comparing his own relationship to silly BL manga tropes, but nothing short of an apocalypse would push him to ask the people around him whether it’s normal to… not think about sex in a romantic relationship. While the internet is a wondrous place full of answers and possibilities, Miyano figures it probably wouldn’t hurt to take a peek at how society tackles his questions through the lens of BL manga.

Hurriedly, just before his date with Sasaki, he randomly picks up one of the highly rated R-18 series, heads over to the payment counter quickly, and bolts out of the store the moment the cashier bags his purchases. He makes sure to stuff the damned volumes deep beneath his bag, out of sight, before he heads over to the café to meet Sasaki for lunch.

And when he’s finally back in his own dorm later that night, his roommate blissfully unaware and asleep, Miyano retrieves the book from his bag, cautiously peels away the plastic wrap before he settles down for the night to take notes.

His efforts are all for naught. Halfway through the series – one Junjou Romantica –, it takes Miyano all but 3 volumes before he calls it quits and and promptly closes the book. Guess there’s no way he can redeem his money now, unless Sasaki is into dubcon…? Well, that’s a thought for future Miyano to ponder on. Current Miyano just wants to sleep and wash the images out of his mind with bleach.

-------------------------------

he has no care for sex, but nothing compares to the tender happiness that comes along with partaking in something sasaki enjoys and yearns for. sasaki’s language of love has always been touch and spending time partaking in activities of common interest.

today, sasaki has picked a soothing lo-fi playlist as their background music. they’re seated on the bed, warmly nestled against each other as they browse through their respective manga

his eyes may be on inked pages, but his heart is long gone. he discreetly observes his boyfriend, the curve of his jaw, long lashes almost curling against the high of his cheekbones as his honey-gold eyes flit across pages and pages of content.

the fingers flipping through each page is steady, long, and miyano suddenly wonders how it would feel to have them splayed across his body, touching him in places his own hands have never ventured before.

“what’s wrong, myaa-chan?” sasaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly fond and kind.

well, fuck it, there’s no going back now.

“senpai, what do you think… about… BL with explicit content?”

sasaki blinks. miyano tampers down the urge to kiss those parted lips.

“you mean books with sex scenes in them?”

“yeah.”

“oh.” sasaki turns away, the hand that’s not rested on miyano’s shoulder has found a place on top of sasaki’s mouth. he’s embarrassed, miyano realizes, and somehow that makes him feel ten times more endearing than usual.

sensing that this was a topic his boyfriend wasn’t going to let go any time soon, sasaki clears his throat and returns miyano’s gaze head on.

“i’m fine with it. why do you ask?”

“i… well.” while miyano struggles for words, sasaki hand starts moving up and down his arm, soothing him.

“are you starting to read rated manga? it’s normal, at least, ogasawara’s girlfriend says so. so there’s no need to be shy, myaa-chan! if you want to recommend any, you know I’ll read anything you lend me. no judgment here.”

it should have been reassuring, but the thought that ogasawara’s girlfriend discussed with sasaki about explicit BL manga like it’s the fucking weather has miyano choking on his spit. what the actual fuck.

do people actually talk about these things? is miyano the abnormal one instead for never entertaining the thought of doing things with his significant other?! has he been missing out on some code of relationship couples ought to follow?! the BL mangas he read never said so!

“myaa-chan? are you okay?”

“you- you talk with ogasawara senpai about these things?”

sasaki’s cheeks colour a lovely shade of red. from his looks, he’s starting to catch up with where miyano wants the conversation to go. that’s a relief, because miyano honestly doesn’t know how to tactfully broach the topic without sounding like a dumb dumb about these things.

“yeah, i do.” sasaki admits, “but only once or twice, because ogasawara needed to vent about things. sorry, does that weird you out? i can stop. i don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“no, no, it’s fine. totally fine, senpai.” it must be a common boys topic that somehow eluded miyano and friends during high school. at this point, miyano’s face must be burning with the hot flames of embarrassment and shame, he’s pretty sure sasaki’s fingers can feel the heat all the way from where they are, stroking his cheek absently.

“what brought this on, if you don’t mind me asking?” sasaki asks a moment later, when the weight of silence in the room gets a little too much to bear.

“just… some friends talking about it the other day.”

“friends.”

“yeah… fine, classmates.”

“are you… thinking about it?”

at miyano’s surprised expression, sasaki backtracks immediately.

“forget i asked.”

“to be honest, i don’t know what to feel about it.”

“it’s okay, we don’t have to do what you don’t want to do.”

it’s so painfully awkward yet endearing at the same time.

“do you think about it, senpai? about us… doing those things?”

sasaki’s lack of an answer is extremely telling. the shade of red coloring his cheeks is probably bright enough to rival miyano’s own face.

“does it matter? i am happy with doing whatever myaa-chan wants to do.” sasaki finally says, but his eyes have shied away from miyano’s gaze, and something within miyano snaps.

“of course it matters. it’s you, sasaki-senpai. i want you to be happy too. i want to do things that you want to do too.”

something akin to hope blooms across sasaki’s eyes (surprisingly moist).

“thank you, myaa-chan. that thought alone makes me happy enough. let’s leave it here for now and let things progress as they naturally would, how about that? we don’t need to rush into anything. i’m really happy with where we are now.”

he knows that sasaki has caught on to his sexual orientation, no doubt. it’s been a year since he became of age, and yet the BL manga he still buys have never ventured into the explicit genre. briefly, he wonders if sasaki actually keeps his own stash of porn somewhere below his bed, like normal boys would do.

they aren’t in high school anymore. it’s been years, and yet until this point, the thought of doing something more than kissing and cuddling has never crossed miyano’s mind. he wants to cry at how respectful his boyfriend has been all this while.

“myaa-chan? myaa-chan? oh no, yoshikazu, don’t cry. i’m sorry if i said something wrong-”

oh fuck.

miyano has always been uncomfortable with displays of affection and attention, preferring to bask in the comforting arms of his daydreams and fantasies, but his love for sasaki burns greater and he will do anything he can to ensure that sasaki receives equal, if not more, affection and care than the amount his boyfriend showers him in.

scene ends with sasaki hugging miyano tightly, reassuring him and planting a kiss at the side of miyano’s temple. but it does nothing to seep away the frustration gnawing at his bones.

END

Anonymous asked: What about either Dabi + Hawks or Erasermic with a darling who they think is just a sweet, shy little café employee, but once they've been kidnapped they find out that darling is actually either an undercover hero or on-the-run villain from a different country who's actual personality is basically the opposite of what they thought. Would they feel betrayed? Angry? Maybe a little impressed? (Bonus if this is a "darling gets revenge on their yandere" scenario, but only if you want :>)

Yess I love this idea! It's like a coffee shop au but with more twists and turns! Also you're so sweet! Thank you so much and I hope you have an amazing day/night!❤❤❤

Yandere Dabi + Hawks x Reader

Tw: Yandere, kidnapping

Enjoy!

💙Dabi and Hawks were walking around down town trying to avoid work. In the news, for the past few weeks atleast, all they talked about was this run away criminal. They had committed mass murder in the country next to their's and has been suspected to have fled here. This was tiresome due to the fact everyone wanted them.

🧡The hero's wanted to apprehend them and gather up all the fame and publicity while the villains wanted to recruit and monopolize their power. Dabi and Hawks were over this.

💙They had escaped their duties and were looking for a break as they walked through the barely lit streets at night. They didnt really expect to find anything open due to how late it was but were pleasantly shocked seeing as a little coffee shop was open.

🧡The duo enter the shop and are greeted with the pleasant smell of coffee. They also are greeted by you.

💙When they saw you they stopped breathing, their hearts beated harder and faster. They had fallen in love.

🧡You were on your phone simply trying not to doze off. You didnt even realize that someone had entered the coffee shop.

💙Hawks makes the first move and approaches you with a silly pet name. You jump, very unaware anyone was inside the shop, and drop your phone.

🧡You apologize and stumble on your words in a cute and flustered way as you pick up your phone and greet the two.

💙The two of them are awestruck by your cuteness as they watch you make their coffees.

🧡You make their coffees and they sit and watch you. It was subtle so you didnt notice and if you caught them looking you didnt mind. The only thing that bothered you was how they whispered, how they instantly shut up whenever you walked by.

💙You didnt like how it felt knowing they could possibly be talking about you, so you go and sit with them. Not before fumbling with your words asking if you could.

🧡They seemed excited as you sat with them, disregarding how awkward it was for you.

💙They start conversation by asking simple questions and answering themselves afterwards. It seemed normal and fun, especially with everything being so lighthearted, but something felt off.

🧡All three of you dodged questions about past events and family. It was odd but none of you spoke out about it.

💙The conversation continues on untill sunrise with many coffees in between. None of you really noticed untill the sun's piercing light blinded you.

🧡You stand and stretch before ushering the two sleepy men out of the cafe. It was closing time and you weren't going to put in extra time.

💙Hawks tries to ask your number but you close the door before he can ask. You wave through the window and scurry out of view. Dabi and Hawks stand there for a moment before walking off to do their tedious job.

🧡That night the duo returns to find the cafe closed. It was around the same time as yesterday when they arrived but the doors were closed and the lights were off.

💙They sit patiently outside the shop for around a hour or so but still nothing. They leave reluctantly, heartbroken they couldn't see you.

🧡They continue to return night after night looking for you for the next few weeks. It was useless seeing as the cafe didnt open since thay one night.

💙Hawks was moping around while Dabi was annoyed by your sudden disappearance but mainly due to Hawks. They were about to lose hope of finding you as well untill they found you at a corner store at midnight.

🧡You were holding a cheap bottle of liquor when the two of them charged you. You didn't understand what was happening as two pairs of arms engulfed you with your name being shouted. You freeze in shock and terror, dropping the bottle as well.

💙It takes a moment of the two of them blabbering on about how they missed you oh so much for you to realize it was those two guys from nights ago. You found it really weird how happy they were to see you but that they remember you too.

🧡You gently pry yourself from their rather tight grip and face them. Their faces were flushed pink as they held an unreadable look in their eyes.

💙You try to make awkward conversation but they only give half answers as they watch you with unwavering attention. They didnt even notice the employee trying to squeeze by and clean up the glass and liquor.

🧡You grow heavily uncomfortable so you grab another bottle of liquor and try to shuffle away from the awkward silence. Sadly, they wouldn't let you.

💙Hawks grabs your right arm, picking up another bottle in his free hand, and Dabi grabs your left arm, pocketing the bottle you were holding along with one or two more.

🧡They drag you to the cashier and pay for one bottle and start to drag you to somewhere else. You protest and object but they continue to drag you through the barely lit city to some crappy abandoned store.

💙They sit you on the ground and trap you by sitting far to close to you. Hawks slings an arm around your shoulders and pops the cap off of the bottle he was carrying, taking a big swig and talking about something random. Dabi starts to pull out all the bottles he smuggled out, telling Hawks to shut up in th process.

🧡Hawks hands you you his bottle that has significant amounts gone and insists you drink. Dabi wasn't paying attention but the weight of Hawk's beady bird eyes makes you crack under pressure.

💙You tip the bottle to your lips but you dont let the liquid escape the bottle. You swallow your saliva and hope it plays off the illusion that you did drink some of it.

🧡Hawks buys it and happily takes the bottle back and chugs more. Meanwhile Dabi had downed a good portion of his drink.

💙You continue to "drink" as the other two grow more tipsy, slurring incoherent words.

🧡Slowly, they doze off. Unfortunately, clinging onto you for dear life. Somehow you are able to escape their death grips and snag a semi full bottle before disappearing into the early morning light.

💙The boys wake up severely hungover panicked. Where'd you go? Did someone take you? Are you hurt?

🧡They try to jump up and find you but the sudden urge to puke over took them. They'll be sure to search for you in a hour or so.

💙The cycle begins again. They search every place they can think of as well as visiting the cafe and corner shop. It wa as almost pitiful how they searched for you like lost puppies.

🧡It was a month this time before they found you. This time you were walking toward someone with a limp. This time they were going to grab you and never let you go.

💙They take a slightly more stealthy approach this time. They creep behind you quickly so that you dont meet up with the other person. They grab you and knock you out to make transportation easier.

🧡They set you down on the ground of a dusty building and study your face. For some reason something felt off. Your face looked different in a way they couldn't explain. They chalked it up to being all the time they spent apart.

💙They sat close by waiting for you to awake. When you did they still kept their minimal distance but voiced their joy excitedly.

🧡When you wake your bombarded with noise. You glare harshly at the two in front of you and unleash a terrible string of slurs and cuss words directed at the two.

💙They were completely stunned. Where did the cute, shy girl they fell in love with go?

🧡What freaked them out even more was the wicked grin that spread on your face. Then their vision went dark.

💙It was their turn to wake up with a pounding headache, confused and dazed. They look around to see you talking to someone. They turn and reveil themselves.

🧡They were also you.

💙One had a softer look on their face while the other had a harsh scowl.

🧡They ask what's happening as they have a hard time deciding who to look at.

💙The kinder looking you steps forward and crouches down. You give them a slightly apologetic look before speaking.

🧡You explain how you were on the run and needed a place to stay. Hence the cafe. When they barged in you had to play along so you didnt get caught. That's when you ditched the cafe and later met then in the corner store.

💙Your face suddenly turns sour as you speak in a harsher tone. You explain how you were fine with their dumb crush until they brought your twin into it.

🧡The second you laughed in the background as their faces contort into pure shock.

💙You then stand and walk back towards your twin, spinning around to face them and explain why the two of you were on the run.

🧡Simple. You're wanted for mass murder.

💙Dabi and Hawks had two very different reactions. Dabi was throughly impressed with how you hold your true self so well while Hawks was heartbroken. He felt so betrayed having his one true love lie and deceive him like that.

🧡Tears pool in Hawk's eyes as he starts to scream and shout at you for breaking his heart. You walk towards him and crouch down. You wipe away one of his tears before roughly grabbing his face and whispering in his ear.

💙You tell him how he'll pay for hurting your twin and how the two of you know exactly how to make someone pay.

Kiby~💚

drunk and in pain

pairing: changmin x reader

genre: angst, fluff, crack?? requested!

word count: 1.1k

warnings: blood, injury, substance abuse, language, heartbreak, rejection and that one description of an exaggerated makeout.

prompt: “we got all night to fall in love” (nothing breaks like a heart by miley cyrus)

note: thank you so much for your request anon! this was fun to write and i love mister ji changmin and his cute ass face.

synopsis: i guess you got too drunk because the last guy you were with had commitment issues. but don’t worry, someone shares the same sentiments. but dancing while you blackout may haven’t been the best idea you both had.

♡

Flashing lights and loud music. Volume high enough to burst your eardrums. Sweaty bodies all around you, each had a drink by their hands or was fully drenched in them. The neon lights made everything feel like a fever dream, as your mind was blank, and your vision in a haze. 

But this wasn’t your natural scene nor habitat. You weren’t one to drink in clubs, but you were invited to your best friend’s birthday. And you just saw your ex—I mean—the guy you dated who refused to give your relationship a ‘label’ because labels were overrated, had his tongue down someone else’s throat when you entered the venue. The moment you gave your best friend her gift, you went straight to the bar and ordered drinks you were scared to try. 

You felt stupid, thinking you were over him. You didn’t think you’d feel as if you got hit by a truck, you didn’t think you’d still be a little affected. I guess ‘a little’ would be an understatement. Yes you weren’t one to party, drinking was okay, but you weren’t someone who’d go clubbing. But you surprised yourself, something that was so foreign for you, you just fit right in. Drunk out of your mind as you stand up from the bar, stumbling on your heels. You start to dance, not knowing where the rest of your friends were, not knowing where you were even going, just getting lost in the pool of bodies who danced to that one loud song that played all evening—you weren’t sure if it was the same song, they all sounded the same. 

You sway your body into the center of the floor, under the big headlight that shined multiple colored lights that moved around the walls. It all felt psychedelic as you were lost in your own world. you felt your body just letting loose, as if they were controlled by something else. 

Another person was the same, though for a much more different reason. Dancing around, feeling confident as ever, just to make someone jealous that he’s fine, alive, happy and most of all, free. Five buttons undone as he spun around with a beer bottle, thinking he was the shit, but rather he looked like an asshole. He was anything but sober. He continued to spin, not a care in the world as the rest of his friends tried to handle him. Yet he was far too gone.

“Changmin! Stop!” 

And that was the last thing you both heard as you bump into one another. His head bumping your nose, god knows how. And he drops his beer. “Oh shit.” he mumbles as he rubs his head, a little headache won't hurt, but as he looks down on you on the floor with a bleeding nose, that’s where things get worse. 

♡

“You dumb ass bitch.” your friend says as he puts your head up, placing an ice pack in a convenience store, looking at the boy who groaned beside you. Your friend literally barged inside as you held your head up high, following behind her. Not only were the two of you there, but you were also with the reason you were in pain in the first place. She decided to bring you two here because you needed to sober up, and the nearest place was a quiet and small convenience store. But she had to leave you since she was still hosting her birthday.

She sighs as she pays the cashier, mumbling one more thing and typing whatever he said on her phone. Before exiting the “You two are literally adults. So sober up then go home. I asked for that guy’s number,” she says as he points to the cashier who puts his hands up, dropping the broom he was holding. “to make sure that you both get home sober.” 

You couldn’t even wave goodbye as you still had your head up as you stopped your nose from bleeding any longer, all you said was “happy birthday.” She blows you a kiss and a small glare at the other. And the person you were with had his own ice pack, and two bottles of water. 

“Your name is Y/n right?” he asks you as he places down the ice pack to drink water. 

You chuckle. “Yep, and you’re Changmin. The guy who got ditched by his own girlfriend for not being rich enough. It sucks buddy.” 

“Like you didn’t get drunk because you were heartbroken too? I’m sorry though, Hyunjae can be a little bit of a dick when it comes to commitment.”

You sigh, and tilt your head to him. “Buy me a tissue because my neck literally hurts from this position.” He laughs and walks around the aisles to grab you a roll. 

You place down the ice pack once he comes back. He hands you the tissue roll and you tear one out as you look at him. You clean up the dried blood and he smiles awkwardly. “You ruined my makeup. I feel like Eleven from Stranger Things. I guess my powers are getting drunk while sad huh.” you say with a laugh. You roll the paper and stick it up your nose, and he laughs at you. 

“At least our friendship would have an interesting backstory.” you say with a smile. 

“It’s okay, you’re still pretty!” he says. You roll your eyes and hit him playfully. You took a water bottle from him and drank huge gulps to sober down. 

And from there, it was silent, but it wasn’t awkward, it’s surprisingly comforting. “Do you think we could still fall in love? I-I mean we’re both pretty much ‘the rejects’ huh?” you ask him, breaking the silence. 

He hums, “it’s still pretty early. We got all night to fall in love.” he mumbles. You smile at him as you rest your head on his shoulder, pinching his side. He yelps in pain because of it. “I hate you for giving me a nosebleed, my nose is fine though, thank god. But besides that, I guess you’re warming up to me.” you say as you nuzzle your head on his shoulder. 

He scoffs, “oh I’m warming up to you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around.” 

You ignore him and change the subject, “wanna go out tomorrow?”

“I should be the one asking that Y/n. But I’d love to.” he says with a sigh. Resting his head on yours as you watch from the window of the convenience store, and the thoughts of how painful the hangover would be the next day.

knocked up - d.d.

plot (requested): SO I’ve had this scenario in my head where reader is scared to have kids and gets knocked up, and of course David is over his head bc he’s gonna be a dad! But reader is having a hard time processing and considering abortion, and he can’t see that, so it causes angst !! (happy ending)

word count: 1700

masterlist

You woke up with a gut feeling. You slipped out from under David's arm, careful not to wake him. You crept out of his bedroom, hoping to sneak out and run to the drugstore without being caught, but Natalie was in the kitchen making breakfast. You put on your sneakers while having a casual conversation with her. You told her you were going to get a coffee, asking if she wanted anything, before getting into your car.

Your hands were shaking as you grabbed a few pregnancy tests off the shelf. The cashier gave you a soft smile as she placed them into a plastic bag. You took the bag from her hand and headed back out to your car. You made a quick stop at Starbucks to bring back coffee for the house.

You left the coffee cups on the kitchen table and headed into the bathroom. David's eyes were half open as he watched you come into the room.

"Morning, babe," he said, sitting up and leaning forward for a kiss. You gave him a quick peck and said hello, placing your coffees on his nightstand before walking into the bathroom. The drugstore bag was tucked into your sweatshirt pocket so David didn’t notice and question it.

You took a deep breath and tore the packaging of one test open. You set the test on the edge of the sink and took a few deep breaths, waiting for the results.

"Babe, is everything okay?" David asked, knocking on the door. "You've been in there forever."

"I'm fine. My coffee just didn't sit right with me," you lied, hoping it was believable.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath, as your eyes scanned the positive pregnancy test. You paced back and forth, your heart pounding. Your mind was racing and you couldn’t think straight. You had no idea what to tell David, or if you should even tell him. You had only been dating for four months and your relationship wasn’t even public yet.

To make matters worse, you hadn’t ever talked about a future together.

You tore open a second and third test to try again, both coming up positive. "Fuck," you shouted, resting your elbows on the edge of the sink and burying your head in your hands. Tears streamed down your face as you realized you had to face the reality of the situation. You sunk to the ground, leaning your back against the wall.

"You okay?" David repeated, knocking on the door again. You quickly wiped your eyes and stood up.

"I said I was fine," you snapped before quickly apologizing.

David rattled the doorknob but it was locked. "Babe, open the door," he insisted, and you sighed. The tests were still in the sink and you didn't think to take them out before letting David in.

You twisted the handle, popping the lock, and the door swung open. David noticed your eyes were red and swollen, a clear sign that you had been crying. He pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapped around your shoulders. You buried your head into his chest and he clutched your head in his hands. Tears rolled down your cheek, falling onto David's shirt. He glanced around, noticing a pink wrapper in the trashcan, and his eyes wandered to the sink. They widened when he saw the tests, but he couldn't tell what the results were.

He let go of his embrace on you and took a few steps towards the sink. He reached for one of the tests, inhaling sharply at the positive result. "You're pregnant?" he asked, turning back to you. He sounded like he was trying to hide his excitement. You nodded and when he fell silent, you could tell he was processing the news.

For the next few days, you avoided talking about it. You were struggling with the thought of being a mom and had contemplated getting an abortion. Of course, you hadn’t told David yet. He seemed so excited to be a dad and you didn’t want to break his heart.

"Babe, we have to talk about this," David insisted as he drove home from the doctors office. You had found out you were only six weeks along and the doctor had presented you with all of your options. You took all of the pamphlets, which raised concern for David, since he thought you wanted to keep the baby.  

He was adamant about having this discussion and you knew that. You fidgeted with the ring on your right hand, not sure how to approach the conversation. You couldn’t just be blunt about it, you wanted to soften the blow so it would be easier for David to handle.

“We'll talk when we get home,” you promised, and he clenched his jaw but nodded.

The rest of the drive home was silent, neither of you knowing what to say when you knew the conversation at home would be serious. David pulled into his driveway and parked the car. You followed him inside, kicking your shoes off by the door, before heading into his bedroom to talk without worrying about Natalie and anyone else interrupting.

David sat on the edge of the bed while you paced back and forth, trying to collect your thoughts. The pamphlets you had taken from the doctor's office were laid out on the dresser, and you hesitated to pick them up to read them.

"Where's your head at, babe?" David asked, standing up and walking over to you. You sighed as David placed his hands on your shoulders. "Come on, talk to me."

"I don't know if I want to keep the baby," you whispered, staring at the floor so you wouldn’t have to face David's heartbroken eyes. His eyes filled with tears that he quickly wiped away. "I'm sorry."

Your eyes briefly met his and your heart shattered. David was distraught at the news. There was a lump in his throat that prevented him from being able to speak, and he knew you likely didn’t have all of the answers to the questions he wanted to ask. A few more tears rolled down his cheek, and your eyes watered as you wiped his tears away with your thumb.

"Dave," you said softly, cupping his face. "I love you, okay?" He nodded. "But I'm only twenty-two and I just graduated college. I'm fucking terrified right now. I mean, did you think I would happy about this?"

David took a few steps back from you. "Was it wrong for me to assume you would be excited?" he asked, raising his voice.

"Yes, David. We've only been together for a few months. We barely know each other," you hissed, trying to keep your voice down so no one overheard the conversation. "Most people are engaged or married before they have kids. We've never talked about the future so I don't know why you thought I'd just be on board with having a baby."

"Then let's talk about it now," he insisted.

"Okay, fine. I don’t know if I ever want to be a mom!" you shouted, tears streaming down your face now. David bit his lip, unsure what to say. You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you proved your point. David didn’t know everything about you. "You just assumed that we were on the same page about everything, Dave."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I know," you replied, brushing his hair out of his face, your eyes meeting his.

A few days later, you and David were still avoiding the conversation. You had talked to a few of your friends about what was going on, and they all encouraged you to do what you thought was the best idea. It was your decision to make, not David's.

You pulled into David's driveway, needing to talk to him. You walked into the house and he was sitting on the couch, his back to you. He was on the phone.

"Yeah, she's pregnant… I know, it's crazy… No, I'm not an idiot… I can’t believe I'm going to be a dad." You could hear the excitement in his voice and it made your heart ache because you couldn't take that away from him.

You walked into the living room and caught his attention. He quickly hung up. "Hi, babe," he smiled, standing up and giving you a kiss.

"Can we talk?" you asked in a whisper, and he nodded, knowing what you wanted to talk about. "I've been thinking about this a lot, and I know this is a decision we should make together, but we need to really think this through."

"I have," he insisted, but you shook your head.

"No, Dave, you haven't. You haven't considered what this will mean for your career. You travel constantly and your vlogs revolve around you and your friends doing dangerous stunts. And, God, David, you have three assistants who do absolutely everything for you. You aren't responsible enough to take care of yourself, let alone a baby," you explained, trying to stay calm as you expressed your concerns. "And please don't try to argue that you're financially stable. I know you have the money to provide for a baby, but there's a hell of a lot more to raising a child than just having money."

David sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Babe, I want to be supportive of whatever decision you make, I really do. But this is our baby we're talking about. I know you're scared shitless, and I am too, but we're in this together, and I'm not going anywhere," he promised, kissing the top of your forehead.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "Please don't make promises you can't keep."

"I love you, you know that. And I'm telling you right now that I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you decide to do." David wrapped his arms around you, holding the back of your head with his hand. You took a deep breath, feeling safe in his arms.

The comfort you felt was a reassurance that he really wasn’t going to leave you. And in that moment you decided that you and David were going to be parents. It didn't matter what sacrifices the two of you had to make for the child, you knew David would be by your side every step of the way.

Principle Decisions [14/24]

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Zelda Spellman/Lilith

Summary: “I want to play with you. I want to fuck you if you would have me. I like you, Zelda. And if you don’t want any of this at all, I would very much so ask that we could be friends.”

N.B.: Also posted on AO3. This is pure fantasy, please suspend your disbelief.

With Christmas just around the corner, Zelda found herself at the local grocers, picking up last minute things that Hilda had otherwise forgotten in the last few shops or fretted that she didn’t have enough of for the pre-Christmas feast with Sabrina. There were only half a dozen items, but as she found herself perusing the flours, trying to find corn flour, she ended up stepping backwards into none other than the very same woman she had ghosted a few weeks ago.

Zelda drew in a breath, trying to steady the sudden need to run whilst mentally kicking herself for going to the same grocers as she had when she’d last ran into her.

Lilith looked well. Dressed in a thick woollen coat over a button-down shirt and a set of trousers. Her hair was out, cascading down her back, and her eyes were wide and bright in contrast to the dark colours.

All Zelda could think about was how much she wanted to kiss her. Her brain was short-circuiting as her heart leapt into her throat, and it annoyed her to no end when she’d spent the last few weeks trying to shove those feelings aside.

She’d been tempted to call Lilith––especially when her headaches eased, and her sex drive returned––, but like her emotions, she’d pushed aside that desire. After all, their relationship had grown too complicated. Lilith would never be interested in her like that, and if she continued down that route, she was only going to have her heartbroken when the woman clarified that whatever they had was for sex and kink only.

Lilith had not reached out either, but why would she? Zelda was just her client, after all.

“Zelda,” the woman said, her expression neutral, face tilting as her eyes glanced to where her long-since faded bruises had been. “You look well.”

“Thank you,” Zelda said before swallowing, feeling the awkwardness build between them. “I ended up having post-concussive symptoms after the fall. Apparently having migraines makes you prone to them,” she explained, feeling the words spill out of her without intention. “I haven’t…”

“Had much of a sex drive?” Lilith enquired. “I promise my feelings are hardly hurt in the matter.”

Zelda felt the sting from the comment. She doubted Lilith intended it, but her saying that did hurt her feelings. She had wanted to feel important with her, feel as if she mattered to Lilith, no matter how utterly ridiculous that was. At least it solidified that she was doing the right thing. “I see,” Zelda said. “Well then, I won’t bother you with your shopping then.”

Lilith’s hand snatched out as she turned away and Zelda paused, turning back to glance at her. She pressed her lips together and knew that a rather icy expression crossed her face.

“Are you okay, though?” Lilith asked softly. As if she cared.

“I’m perfectly fine. The sun does not revolve around you,” she said, shrugging off the grasp. Lilith laughed, and the sound caught Zelda’s attention.

“I thought that perhaps you were upset with me because you hit your head.”

“I––no, not because of that.”

Lilith’s expression faded into a frown then, her brow pressing together. “But you are upset with me?”

Zelda drew in a breath and looked around the store. This was not the place she wanted to have the conversation and Lilith seemed to pick up on that.

“How about a drink. On me tonight. I don’t have an issue if you are requesting to finalise services with me, but I am concerned if there’s something between us that’s unresolved––after all, I am the principal to your niece and I wouldn’t want unnecessary…awkwardness if there’s something I can do to fix it.”

Zelda swallowed, “There’s nothing you can do.”

“Try me,” Lilith insisted. “At the very least, let us clear the air so we can part amicably?”

She wanted to decline, but instead, she found herself nodding. “What time?”

“Six? We can go somewhere neutral, though there are few places we could go to. Perhaps..the Richmonds bar, if you’re so inclined?”

“The one in Riverdale?” Zelda asked. It was a little way out of her ways.

“No, it’s down the street, near the bookshop. They’re more of a pub, really, but it’ll do. No one will pay attention to us. Otherwise, you could come over to mine?”

Zelda felt the shiver run down her at the implication of going to her house. A drink with Lilith seemed very dangerous then, and Zelda felt the effects of last time wash over––legs spread, ass high and the sting of each hit.

God, she wanted that more than she should.

“The local bar is fine,” she agreed. She couldn’t remember having ever attended the so-called Richmond bar––but if she had, it hadn’t been a long time ago.

“Six,” Lilith confirmed, and Zelda was nodding again. “Don’t be late,” Lilith said with a stern look before she grinned, and then she was turning away, and Zelda was trying to quell the rising emotions in her.

As it was, she found the cornflour and tossed it the basket before heading to the cashier. A part of her hoped she’d stumble across Lilith again, but she did not. The line was long with other last-minute shoppers, and Zelda felt the minutes tick by, her thoughts drifting to what six pm would look like.

“Next,” the cashier called, and Zelda dropped her basket down, placing things out to be packed away. Then she was taking the groceries to the car, getting in the car, driving home, her thoughts still going over Lilith’s eyes as they’d looked at her. Her laugh, her smile, the way her hand had caught her wrist.

There was a fluttering feeling in her chest, and despite how she wanted to talk herself around the feeling, she couldn’t help but come face-to-face with the fact that despite weeks of not seeing Lilith, she still liked her.

Hopelessly so.

She went home and placed the groceries away into the fridge and pantry, and then she showered and dressed in new clothes, changing into a dress that she quite liked the look of on herself, and lingerie that she spent far too long choosing between.

She shouldn’t have worried about it, given that she was trying to convince herself that it was one drink at the bar, and yet she did, knowing that if the opportunity did arise, she wasn’t going to refuse her.

It was cold, so she pulled on her jacket, advising Hilda that she’d run into a friend and was going to meet for a few glasses of wine.

And then it was five-thirty. She was half an hour early sitting in her car, knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.

She hated the feeling in her chest, hated the growing fuzziness and the way her heartbeat pounded. She hated how her mouth felt dry, and all she could think about was Lilith’s laughter in her ear and how she wanted to see if she could make her laugh and moan in the same breath.

Zelda closed her eyes, and drew in a breath, pressing the feelings down. Sex was certainly one thing, but everything else needed to be ignored until it was eradicated.

She headed into the bar, her clutch in hand and threw her eyes around the room. She was still early, despite sitting in her car for however long, and Lilith had no reason to be here early.

So she went to the bar, ordered a drink and took a seat in a booth, ignoring the stickiness of the floor near the bar, and the fact that the only occupants were middle-aged men and women who all had an expression like there was nothing they wanted more than to hit something or cry.

She was beginning to regret being here.

Still, with a drink in grip, she sat down in the chair, trying not to let herself sit too far back, lest her back hit the spine of the rather stained chair.

She barely took a sip when the door opened again, and Lilith entered. She was dressed as she had been in the store, her face flushed from the cold as she undid her jacket, eyes sliding around the room until she saw Zelda and gave an acknowledging smile.

Zelda shifted in her seat, feeling the familiar flutter fill her as she watched Lilith walk up to the bar, and order, before she was taking her drink and coming over, setting it down on the table, opposite to herself.

“Zelda,” she greeted. “Don’t you look lovely?”

Zelda flicked her eyes away, hating how it was obvious that she’d taken the effort to change her clothes and make-up. There was no reason for her to have done it, and yet she had.

May as well be a giant neon sign before her flashing Down to Fuck.

“As do you,” she returned, though there was no warmth to her voice as she lifted her drink and sipped it, feeling the alcohol slide across her tongue and down her throat. This was a bad idea. She realised a bad idea to have alcohol and Lilith in close proximity to one another. At least this way she knew they wouldn’t engage in anything kink related.

“How’s your head?”

“Fine,” Zelda advised. “Fracture’s healed, I had a recent follow-up imaging done, and everything’s perfectly healthy. My doctor wants me to see a neurologist but honestly, if the scans are fine, then I’m certain the headaches will ease.”

“Do they happen often?”

“They were happening regularly, debilitatingly so, but since the winter break has started, they’ve been occurring less and less.”

Lilith smiled and didn't comment any further to that, and Zelda was thankful for it. The last thing she wanted was to have Lilith lecturing her again.

“Not to sound like a broken-hearted girl, but was that why you haven't been coming to see me?” Lilith enquired, her eyes flicking to hers. There was a mischievousness to the way she asked the question, though Zelda supposed it was a mask more than anything else. She was curious as to why Zelda had ceased seeing her when by all other means, they should be fine.

“In part,” she admitted.

“And the other part?”

Zelda took a sip of wine. As she’d dressed that evening, she’d gone over if Lilith were to ask the question, what she might say. Make a feigned reference to money––that she could no longer afford the sessions, but that was hardly true––or refer to the fact that she was seeing someone, also not true. The lies presented and fell and Zelda was left with either the truth or worse, a fabricated story that would defer blame to Lilith.

But she didn’t want to do that, and the woman’s expression was curious as she watched her, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I think whatever this is, is blending into something complicated and I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Lilith nodded. “That’s fair. We can set clearer boundaries if you prefer. I admit I’ve been…unethical in how I approached this, especially with the football game and my office. Not to mention the time you stumbled across my little home.”

Zelda lifted the glass to her lips as she tugged down her skirt, trying not to remember the incident in the office.

“Do you want to keep playing with me?”

Zelda sighed, looking up at her. “I do,” she admitted. “I want…everything we had before.”

“Everything?” Lilith asked. “Or would you like more?”

Zelda felt her cheeks heat up, and was thankful for the dim light.

“I want more,” Lilith said, taking the first step and Zelda’s eyes turned and looked to hers. “I enjoy playing with you, Zelda. Quite a fair bit more than I enjoy playing with any other clients. And I wanted to ask you a while ago, but I was…worried that you didn’t feel the same.”

The words sent a warm flush through, and Zelda felt a smile tug on her mouth. “I feel the same.”

“If you like…we could engage into an arrangement,” Lilith offered. “It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship if you’re not ready for that, more of a…between. I suppose.”

“And just what sort of an arrangement would that be?”

“Well, simply stated, I could become your Mistress, and you would be my…” she paused then as if tasting the words to find the right fit.

“Pet?” Zelda asked dryly, brows raising.

Lilith shrugged. “I feel there’s a more fitting word there somewhere, not to say that I wouldn’t enjoy collaring you.”

Zelda drew in a sharp intake of breath. She didn’t mean to, hadn’t even realised until it happened that she had, but there she was, staring at Lilith, wondering how it would feel to have the woman’s fingers setting a collar around her throat.

“You’re far too insubordinate for slave,” she hummed, and then Zelda could feel the toe of the woman’s heel stroking up her calve. “Servant, perhaps. Or maybe…” and she paused then, her grin all teeth as her shoe fell away and Zelda was left sitting upright at the table, clutching her glass tighter.  “Handmaiden.”

Handmaiden, Zelda blinked, feeling the brush rise across her face. “And what sort of…duties would such a position require?”

“Oh, we’d have to negotiate that. But sex…kink…anything you want, anytime you need it, wherever you desire.”

Zelda drew in a breath and held it in her chest, looking away. “And what would I need to pay for such a privilege?”

“This is an entirely separate arrangement. It would be entirely about mutual satisfaction.” So no payment. Lilith was asking her to engage in a full D/s relationship. There was much to think about, much to consider and how it would affect her life—but the truth of the matter was that she didn’t want to think about any of that. She just wanted what was offered before, plain and simple. “I want to play with you. I want to fuck you if you would have me. I like you, Zelda. And if you don’t want any of this at all, I would very much so ask that we could be friends.”

Zelda nodded, swallowing as she held the woman’s stare. Lilith liked her. Truly liked her. It was enough to feel her heart race. “I want those things too,” she admitted. And then she pulled back, straightening in the booth as she felt the reaction shiver down her spine. “What would this involve?

“Are you asking, or are you asking?” Lilith asked, and then she was sliding around the U shape of the booth, and Zelda could feel her body heat against her own. “Because we can talk if that’s what you want, but I need to know what you want right now.”

They should talk, sort everything out plain and simple, but Lilith’s eyes were on her mouth, and Zelda could feel the woman’s fingers brushing against the back of her hand, and all she wanted was to feel those fingers shoved down her underwear. But not here.

“We should…go,” Zelda said, “elsewhere.”

“Go where?”

“Wherever you can fuck me.”

Lilith smiled and then they were up and out of the booth and walking out of the bar and Zelda wasn’t sure how many steps they’d taken, but suddenly she was pressed around the side of the building, and there were bricks against her back, and Lilith’s mouth on hers as her the hem of her dress was being shoved up high on her thighs.

“Part your legs for me,” Lilith murmured.

Zelda obeyed and was rewarded with the woman’s fingers sliding underneath the band of lace, and sliding over her sex in a long, firm stroke that had her head rolling back against the wall as she gasped.

“Someone could see us,” Zelda said, but her hips rocks and she did not attempt to pull away. Only clutching at the labels of Lilith’s jacket tighter, tugging her closer. “Shouldn’t we––“

“Shh.”

Zelda’s words felt silent, though her mouth remained parted, a whine building in her throat at Lilith began to kiss down her neck, pressing against her pulse point, before the kisses began to have teeth and then Lilith was sucking against her shoulder as her fingers continued to stroke. It was all Zelda could do to focus on holding onto the jacket.

She looked up at the night sky, finding nothing but darkness with the heavy clouds that held over the town. It was early, too early for this. People could come across them, and yet there was no anxiety of anyone finding them, only a building thrill that they shouldn’t but they were.

“Good girl,” Lilith coaxed, and Zelda rocked against the fingers, biting down on her bottom lip to hold back from crying out.

She could feel the bricks against her scalp, dragging and catching against her clothes. There was cold air against her legs and a hot breath on her throat.

Lilith had one hand in her underwear as the other hooked underneath her leg and held it up, over her hip.

“You are an absolute divine calling, Zelda. I’m so glad we ran into each other.”

Zelda whimpered, and then Lilith’s mouth was on hers, and she was moaning into it, feeling a shudder build low in her belly before it built and built and then Lilith was increasing her speed, a finger running over her clit just right as––

“God,” Zelda hissed between them as Lilith laughed, low and warm against her mouth.

And then Zelda was coming in the parking lot of some bar, against a woman who used to be her paid dominatrix, now her mistress and all Zelda could think was how beautiful Lilith looked when her lipstick was smudged, and the distant golden street light haloed her.

“Come home with me,” Lilith said as she pulled up her underwear, smoothing her dress back down. Zelda nodded, feeling the tremor rush through her.

“I drove…” she whispered.

“Pick it up tomorrow. I’m not done with you yet.” It wasn’t a request, and Zelda swallowed back the noise in her throat as she felt her fingers lace with Lilith as the woman lead her to the black sedan. Before she could even think of argument (not that she wanted to), she was being guided into the seat, the door shut beside her, and then Lilith was sitting down in the driver’s seat, smiling at her like she couldn’t believe her eyes.

She hadn’t even drunk half of one glass of wine, and yet she felt the excitement buzz through her as if she’d downed a bottle.

She wondered if this was a good decision, and then decided she didn’t care as the car was started and Lilith was backing out of the car park. There was a flutter in her chest, and as they pulled out to the road, she glanced to Lilith and noticed the woman’s expression had turned into the familiar expression of her queen.

“Take off your underwear.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Oh, you’ll know when you need to beg,” Lilith said, and Zelda watched her eyes flick to hers before returning to the road. “Take off your underwear.”

Zelda felt the command wash over her, her chest warming with excitement. She didn’t wait to be asked again, reaching up to under her dress, she pushed her hips off the seat and slid her underwear down her legs, before sliding them off her feet.

“Good girl.”

Zelda sat up taller in the seat and waited, wondering what would happen, but Lilith was biting her lip, seeming to hold back her own excitement as she watched the road.

From memory, Zelda knew that the drive was fifteen minutes until they got to the house on the side of the forest, and as such, the idea of sitting there in the seat, underwear off was enough to feel the present growing wetness between her thighs.

But Lilith had other plans, she realised, as the woman’s hand slipped over her knee, drawing up her thigh. The other remaining firm on the steering wheel.

“Shift forward for me,” Lilith whispered, and Zelda did, because she was told to and Lilith was her queen.

Biting her tongue, she felt the woman’s hand slide up her thighs. She turned and watched as Lilith bit her lip, eyes on the road, and then Zelda was moving forward on the seat, and Lilith’s fingers were stroking over sex again, and it was she could do to draw in a tight breath.

“Don’t hold back,” Lilith said. “There’s no one here but you and me.”

Zelda sighed, giving a small moan as Lilith worked between her legs.

It was slow and steady and then she was sliding inside of her and Zelda was lifting a foot onto the console to spread her legs wide, pushing further forward on the seat so Lilith would slide deeper inside of her.

She didn’t hold everything back, but there was still restraint as she moaned, drawing her head back against the leather seat and pressing her hips up to Lilith’s hands, meeting her tempo.

She glanced towards Lilith again, watching as the woman stared out at the road, her face firm and focused, but there was amusement in her eyes. And then, all at once, she was pulling off on the road, and her fingers were sliding out of Zelda, placing the car into park shoving the hand brake on before the seat belt was unbuckled, and before Zelda could so much as gasp, the woman was on top of her, fingers burying deep inside of her again as she kissed and fucked her like they were running out of time.

Zelda’s eyes flew shut, heel pressing to the console of the car. The car was cramped and small and yet, Lilith showed no sign of being encumbered, fucking her as if the world depended on it and god Zelda’s world very much so did depend on her getting fucked right now.

“Lilith,” she whispered between them, feeling herself teetering on another orgasm faster than she could bear.

The woman nipped at her mouth, and Zelda’s mouth parted as she panted, unable to focus on kissing or fucking, or she could feel was the building sensation low in her belly as she squeezed around Lilith’s fingers closer and closer until there was nothing else she wanted but to be in that moment for all eternity.

“Look at you,” Lilith said, “You’re all mine, Zelda.”

“Yours,” she agreed with a keened noise as Lilith laughed, hitting just the right spot in her strokes, her thumb on her clit so Zelda’s foot slipped and she was coming again, harder than before.

And then Lilith’s hand steadied, and the woman pulled back, smiling at her. “I hope you didn’t have any plans for tomorrow, because I plan to fuck you until you use your safe word.”

Zelda shuddered out a breath, “Well, how can I argue with that,” she said.

Lilith smiled, and then she was sliding her fingers over Zelda’s sex again, despite how the intensity of it caused her to rock away, pulling from the severity of the touch. “I––“ she said, but Lilith’s mouth coaxed at her neck and Zelda found herself sighing again, melting against the woman as Lilith somehow managed to fuck out another orgasm from her (small enough that it ached and she wanted another, almost asked for it, but held back the words as she watched Lilith arched an eyebrow and climb back into the driver’s seat, licking her fingers with more arrogance than she had any right to).

And then Zelda’s leg was dropping to the ground, and she was deeply aware of how wet and aching she was, despite being fucked however many times in probably…half an hour?

She wasn’t sure. She barely knew what the time was and at this stage, if she was going to count, it may as well be orgasms. She doubted that minutes or hours would mean a whole lot if Lilith was planning on playing with her as much as she promised.

They drove in silence, the tension thick in the air between them as Zelda pressed her knees together, feeling the cool air of the air-con brush over the heat of her skin.

And then they were parking the car at the house, and Lilith was climbing out, opening the door for her to slide out, and they were walking up the wooden stairs, to the front door. Zelda watched as Lilith unlocked the front door, flicked the foyer light on, before setting her keys in the bowl by the door and then she turned on her heel and smirked at Zelda.

Her eyes ran over Zelda’s face, to her body, all the way to her shoes and then up again. “Get undressed,” she said.

“Here?” Zelda asked, eyebrows raised. “Truly?”

“Here,” Lilith confirmed.

The house was nowhere near as cold as outside, but there was a chillness to the air.

Zelda flushed, obeying as she pulled off her jacket, before undoing the zipper of her dress. Setting her clothes aside she stepped out of her heels and then watched as Lilith folded her arms, her lips pressed together in a pleased smile, brow-raising as if to say, well, go on then.

Zelda drew in a breath and removed the slip, before, reaching behind her as she undid her bra and slid that off too.

Then she was standing before Lilith, naked and ready. Her body burning with excitement.

She drew in a deep breath and watched as Lilith stepped closer. Entirely dressed, heels on still as she settled her hands on Zelda’s hips.

Now, because Zelda was barefoot and Lilith was in heels, the woman towered over her and Zelda couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement with that.

It shouldn’t have had as much effect as it did, but Zelda found her chin tilting up, mouth parting to taste her as Lilith’s face loomed closer, promising, but not quite close enough to kiss her.

Lilith’s eyes were watching hers, drawing across her expression before she smiled, and leant forward, kissing her. It was gentle, promising and Zelda melted against it, feeling a cold shiver run across her.

And then Lilith was pulling away. “Stay here,” she said, before turning away, walking up the stairs. Zelda sighed, feeling the coolness wash over her.

She watched as Lilith’s hips swayed, walking up the stairs, her hand trailing up the bannister before she disappeared.

And then Zelda was standing alone in the front room, coolness washing over her. Her clothes were cast around her, and Zelda felt herself begin to shift on her feet with excitement.

She could hear rustling upstairs, and a part of her wanted to walk up curiously, but she knew that she’d been told to stay, so she stayed, feeling her excitement turn to tense anticipation, dreaming up all sorts of things that Lilith might be planning to do to her.

And then Lilith was coming down the stairs, seemingly with nothing new in grip, though she had a grin that was far too bright for there to be nothing. “Be a dear and light a fire,” she said.

Zelda swallowed, not sure of the game they were playing, but turned to the fireplace nonetheless. Kneeling before it, she moved the kindling and wood into the hearth, setting it up properly, before she took the match and lit the kindling.

It took a few moments, and then the fire caught on the pieces of wood and flourished, allowing Zelda to close the door of the fireplace and step back. Behind her, Lilith was sitting on the armchair, reclined back comfortably with a knowing expression on her face.

Zelda stepped forward, all the more aware of her naked body as she felt the firelight warm across her, and then she was standing before Lilith, watching as the woman’s hands reached up to her waist and tugged her forward onto her lap.

One leg on either side of Lilith, she straddled the woman’s lap and went to sit down, when she realised what exactly Lilith had gotten from upstairs.

Her mouth parted open, a slow deep intake of breath pooling into her lungs as Lilith watched her with a vested interest.

“Go on,” she said, and Zelda swallowed, before her hand reached to the zipper of Lilith’s pants, unbuckling the button before she pulled down the fly, and then she was reaching in to pull the dildo out.

Lilith grinned at her, amused by her excitement.

And god, Zelda loved that look. She wanted to slap it off her face as much as she wanted to kiss it as she felt the strap-on press against her thigh, nudging just below her sex.

Lilith’s hands settled on her hips and then she was slowly, carefully, encouraging her onto the toy and it was also Zelda could do to sigh, feeling the warmth pull in her lungs as her hips rocked over the tip, feeling it press against her clit before nudging down, lower to her entrance.

“Lilith,” she said.

“Ask me nicely,” Lilith said, and Zelda rocked again, feeling the embarrassment flush over her. She wanted to ask, wanted to plead because there was nothing she wanted more than to feel that fill her. “You can ask me,” Lilith coaxed.

“Please,” Zelda whispered, and Lilith brightened at the word, arousal washing over her face.

“Please what?” she asked, softly between them.

“Please will you fuck me with your cock?”

It was filthy, and terrible and should have sounded awkward coming from her and yet Zelda’s felt the embarrassment wash away as Lilith looked at her like she was starving and Zelda was a feast to be had.

Lilith’s lips parted as she nodded, and for once it seemed she was at a loss of words, and then her mouth was drawing up, and Zelda was leaning down, and the toy was pressing firmer against her as Lilith kissed hard, hand curling in her hair as she tugged her closer.

“Yes,” Lilith whispered, and Zelda felt a hand drew through her hair as the toy slid inside of her.

Zelda gasped, eyes fluttering as she sunk on top of the woman’s lap. It went in deep, easily filling her. Zelda whimpered against Lilith's mouth as she rocked her hips back and slid deeper on it again.

“Fuck,” she hissed, feeling Lilith’s hand coax her until the entire toy filled her, and then Zelda settled for a moment, drawing in a breath as she smiled at Lilith before she began sliding up and down.

She could feel her body adjust, squeezing around it. Then, when she was comfortable, Zelda tossed her hair over her shoulder, hands settling on Lilith’s shoulders as she began to ride the strap-on as Lilith watched her, completely enthralled as she rocked over it like it was a dance between them.

It’d been a while since she’d had any cock inside of her––outside of her own toys––but there was something intimate about riding a dildo with someone watching her. When she bit her lip, biting back a moan, Lilith’s face shifted, her face soft with amazement, hands gripping at her hips tighter so that Zelda ground down on the toy.

Zelda flushed at the awe on the woman’s face, feeling it spark through her. She was doing that; she was the cause of Lilith’s expression.

“God,” Lilith said, before clearing her throat, seeming to remember that she was meant to be in control––but Zelda could see it was quickly slipping, especially when Zelda began to intentionally draw high and then sink low, grinding down on it.

Zelda knew she looked good riding a shaft. She’d had many compliments in the past from many paramours, and yet the way Lilith looked at her made her feel incandescent.

Lilith seemed torn between sitting back and watching her and wanting to do more. Zelda could feel her nails digging it, trying to hold back and she couldn’t help from laughing as she bowed her head until their noses were almost touching and said. “I want you to fuck me on every surface of this house so you can’t go anywhere without thinking how good I look riding you.”

“Zelda.”

“Don’t you want to fuck me on that lovely kitchen table of yours?”

Lilith’s expression hardened, and the woman almost growled at her, “I’m enjoying the show.” But Zelda could hear it in her voice as it trembled, that she wanted something more. She wanted to fuck her, really fuck her and Zelda would allow it.

“You can do whatever you want to me. No hard limits tonight.” It was a dangerous thing to say, and yet Zelda already knew that the things that interested Lilith, interested her very much so. There were things she hadn’t tried that she would happily explore under Lilith’s guiding hand.

She squeezed her thighs, drawing her hips up and down, kissing Lilith hard as she felt nails scrape down her thighs.

“I bet you wish you could feel this,” Zelda said between a kiss, feeling Lilith groan against her.

“You have no idea.”

Zelda laughed. The last few months, it’d been Lilith in control, but here, it was her domain and Lilith was hers to play with.

She fucked herself on the shaft, riding it until Lilith seemed to burn with envy, and then Lilith was holding her still, the toy buried deep inside of Zelda as the building climax died suddenly––she’d been close, but not so close she felt frustrated by it.

“Enough. Get off. On your hands and knees.”

“Which am I supposed to do? Get off, or get on my hands and knees?”

Lilith’s expression tightened, annoyance creeping over her face at the backtalk. “Get on your hands and knees before I change my mind.”

Zelda laughed, climbing off of her. And then she settled on her knees on the floor, before the fire, but didn’t bend over just yet. If Lilith wanted to reign back control, she was going to need to work for it.

Lilith stood up, and then she was buckling her pants back-up, the shaft returned into them as she zipped it up. And then Zelda watched as the woman slid her jacket off and undid the button on her sleeves, before rolling them up.

Zelda swallowed, watching the hardened expression of the woman as then reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the set of leather gloves.

“Disobedience will be punished,” she said. “Last chance, bend over, and it won’t be so severe.”

Zelda watched the gloves, feeling the flicker inside of her to obey, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to see what would happen.

Lilith smirked. “I was so hoping you’d make this difficult.” She stepped behind Zelda and drew her fingers over her hair, smoothing it back, and Zelda softened, her eyes fluttering shut before she looked up at Lilith.

“Do you remember your safe word?” came the familiar question, a soft, earnest expression reminding her that this, what was to come, was just a scene. Lilith was right there when if she needed her.

“I do.”

Lilith nodded, and then her expression shifted back into that of her Queen and Zelda felt it pull inside of her, a deep longing ache as the hand drawing through her hair suddenly curled, tugging her head back roughly. Zelda gasped, feeling her self pulled up straighter on her knees.

And then Lilith’s thumb was swiping over her mouth. Zelda parted her lips and felt as two gloved fingers slid over her tongue, pressing against it and pushing her jaw open wider. It didn’t hurt, the discomfort of it made her wince, and she watched as Lilith’s smirk tugged into a grin.

“Open wide.”

Zelda opened her mouth, and then Lilith’s fingers were retracting, though the hand in her hair remained firm, curling tighter so the nerves electrified.

“I know what you want is for me to spank you, but I think that would only encourage you to act like a brat.” She moved closer, and Zelda could see the bulge in the pants before her as Lilith shifted to stand in front of her.

With the toe of her boot, Lilith nudged at Zelda’s knees apart until they were awkwardly shifting apart.

Zelda’s muscles tightened as she tried to sit-up tall on her knees as she spread them wide.

Her hands hung at her side, closing into fists and Lilith looked down her, the warm firelight casting a golden hue over her face, making the blue of her eyes only all the more bright.

Zelda’s mouth slackened, sore from keeping it open, and the hand tugged harder at her hair. Zelda whimpered, looking up at Lilith. “Did I say you could shut your mouth?”

“No.”

“No…?”

“No, my Queen.”

“Open up then. You’re mine, now Zelda Spellman, and I intend to fill that mouth.”

Zelda shivered. Eyes holding Lilith’s, she opened her mouth. And then the woman’s brow was rising as she nodded for her to get to it.

So be it.

She undid the pants, unzipping them again as she had before, and pulled out the toy until it stood erect before her.

Scene aside, Zelda had to admit it was an aesthetically pleasing toy of black silicone. It was shaped nicely, somewhat larger than she’d expected with a decent length on it.

“Be a good girl and clean up the mess you made.”

Lilith’s hand, cloaked in black leather, adjusted the toy, so it sat where it needed to, and Zelda felt her breath pull. It’d been some times since she’d done this for a man, an action she reserved for paramours who’d proven equal in bed. But Lilith had worked very hard for her pleasure, better than anyone else.

If this was to be her punishment, she didn’t mind at all. She only wished she could truly show off her skill.

She felt the hand in her hair gently tug her closer to the dildo and Zelda submitted. Taking the toy in her mouth, Zelda ensured that it was much as a show for Lilith as the woman wanted, despite the flush of embarrassment she had warming down her body.

She let her tongue glide down the shaft, lips drawing over it, and she drew forward until she felt her tongue coated with her arousal. She slid her mouth over and then sucked, drawing back. And then her eyes fell shut, feeling the hand coax her deeper onto it before drawing back. Her tongue sliding down further and then up.

And then the toy was no longer tasting of her arousal and Zelda was looking up at Lilith, pulling back.

“Did I say you could stop?” the woman asked.

Zelda squirmed, shifting forward again and drawing her tongue back over it. She sucked the cock like it was a bodily attachment to Lilith. Her head bobbed, eyes drawing up to watch Lilith’s eyes dilate with arousal, her mouth parted in desire before Zelda was pulled off the toy.

Lilith smiled down at her, but it was not the warm, proud smile of a job well done. It was sharp. Zelda shivered, she wasn’t done being punished yet.

“On your hands and knees.”

The hand in her hair let go, and Zelda obeyed this time, bending over.

She was wet, absolutely, dreadfully drenched to the point it was sliding down her thighs, and Lilith knew. The woman’s gloved hands came, adjusting her hips and Zelda felt the gloved finger draw over where wetness had dripped down her thigh, slipping over it.

“Whatever am I going to do with you,” Lilith sighed. “Ever my darling masochist, aren’t you, Zelda?”

Zelda swallowed, dropping her head down to stare at the rug on the floor. Nothing was occurring. Nothing was happening, and she ached. Even though Lilith had already fucked her more than three times that evening, she felt very aware of how empty she was, how much she wanted the woman to slide inside of her.

And then, as if sensing her distress, she felt the glove fingers sliding inside of her.

Zelda whimpered, feeling the finger draw against her walls before they slid out again. The gloves felt strange, wronginside of her. She wanted her to do it again.

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes.”

A hand slapped at her ass, and Zelda gasped, feeling it rush over her. She bit her bottom lip, as a moan escaped.

“Let’s try that again. Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, my queen.”

“Good girl,” Lilith said, and then Zelda was rewarded as she felt the head of the strap press against her, sliding purposefully across her sex, nudging up and over to her clit—and with it, Zelda moaned.

She heard Lilith laugh, her hands drawing her hips and Zelda realised what she planned to do.

This wasn’t going to be about her pleasure. This was going to be entirely about Lilith’s.

The woman tugged her hips, and Zelda felt herself slide back, until the shaft filled her suddenly, completely. And then Lilith’s hands, cool with the leather, began pushing her hips back and forward, leading her in a tempo. Zelda obeyed, biting her lip as she thrust her hips obediently.

“There we go,” Lilith teased. “Doesn’t that feel nice to be obedient for you, Queen?”

Zelda rocked her hips, feeling the woman’s pants bite into the back of her. She couldn’t deny the eroticism of being completely undressed. At the same time, Lilith remained completely dressed behind her, bouncing her back and forward on the shaft as if she didn’t care if Zelda would come from it––though undeniably Lilith did. The game they played allowed the confidence in Zelda to know that if she asked, Lilith would give her everything she needed.

“Spread your legs wider. There’s a good girl,” Lilith said, and Zelda spread herself as wide as she could, feeling her muscles aches.

And then a leather-clad palm was pressing high on her back, pushing her down firmly. Zelda’s face pressed against the rug on the ground, her forearms and hands splaying over it as she kept her ass up.

It was a fucking, meant to remind her that she was a bitch in heat for Lilith and Zelda’s eyes fluttered, feeling lost in the moment as she listened to Lilith fuck her.

There was a building tension growing in her, a pulsating need in her clit as a part of her wanted to reach between her legs and stroke just enough to get herself off––but she wouldn’t. She knew that if she did, Lilith would just as quickly slide out of her and then that orgasm growing inside of her would die away, leaving her hollow with desire.

“Lilith,” she moaned, her nails digging into the carpet as she squeezed around the shaft. “Oh God,” she exhaled sharply, feeling her breast drag against the rug, her nipples dragging with enough friction that she clenched again, feeling the aching desire building.

“What do you need?” Lilith asked, and Zelda felt her press against her back, her hips still fucking deep inside of her with a skill Zelda could not fathom.

“You,” Zelda assured. It was both a desire to say she wanted more and a soft whisper to ask for a reminder of her care. And then she felt Lilith shift behind her, watching as a single glove was tossed away to the floor before Lilith’s hand dropped down, her fingers entwining through one of Zelda’s hands on the carpet, holding her steady.

And Zelda squeezed, her fingers clenching around Lilith’s like that very act of tenderness seemed to let her know that Lilith was right there, it was a scene, it was a game, and they could stop if she wanted to.

She didn’t want it to.

Her hips rocked harder, as she gasped loud and sharp in the air, and felt as a mouth pressed against her shoulder blade, kissing it gently before it parted and teeth bit her. Zelda gasped desperately as the pain focused her, and then she felt Lilith’s other hand drawdown from her hips, to between her legs, to stroke over her clit.

It was gentle and then firm, and Zelda founded herself nodding and gasping “Yes, don’t stop.” Until she was coming forcefully, rocking over the shaft as her body tightened, nerves electrifying inside of her and over her skin as she cried out.

And then she was collapsing, dropping forward as she let go of Lilith’s hand to catch herself from smashing against the rug.

Carefully, Lilith withdrew from her and then she was nudging Zelda onto her side, and then onto her back as she looked down upon her, grinning brightly.

Zelda watched as Lilith lifted her gloved hand to her face (the bare one pressing warmly beside her) and used her teeth to tug it off before she discarded it over with the other.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Hi,” Zelda returned, brows rising.

“You are heave sent, Zelda.”

“I’ve been told that before,” Zelda teased, smiling up at her as she felt a flutter in her heart as she watched as Lilith laughed, equally amused by her antics. And then when her laugh settled, and the smiled softened into a look of adoration, Zelda couldn’t help but lift her hips against the thigh pressed between her. “Tell me, my Queen. What else do you have planned?”

“Are you not satisfied yet?” Lilith asked, her brows raising with mischief. “And here I thought I’d thoroughly fucked you.”

“I don’t believe I said my safe word?” she teased, and then reached up, settling her hands onto Lilith’s shoulders to tug her closer. “Unless…you need to rest?”

“Insatiable,” Lilith said, leaning forward to kiss her. “I’m pleased that I ran into you today.”

“As am I,” Zelda said, genuinely meaning it. She’d been running from what she wanted for far too long. She didn’t know if this was a romantic relationship, or if Lilith only wished to continue the sex and kink in personal quarters—but whatever it was, Zelda wanted it.

She wanted her. Entirely, completely, however, Lilith would have her.

As Lilith kissed her, settling between her legs, hands cupping underneath Zelda’s knees to drag her into position, Zelda sighed with contentment.

She’d worry about the rest tomorrow. Tonight was about them, it didn’t matter the fine details, so as long as Lilith looked at her like that, she could pretend that they could stay in this sex bubble for a little while longer.

In the morning, she’d allow herself to worry about her family, about Sabrina and Ambrose, about if this really was a good idea.

But tonight? She was permitting herself to be selfish.

_______________

Synopsis: Yn Ln is an environmentalist - Miyagi University’s very own campus ‘Green Thumb.’ One day Hinata Shōyō who happens to be a close friend of Yn, invites them to come to one of his races. The only problem is that this race of his, is illegal. Read the journey of Yn who has been sucked into the world of illegal street racing with the one goal: to create an eco-friendly race car.

WC: 1.8K

Note: is this character development I smell? 👀

Vanilla Bean Frappe

You slowly make your way down to the Karasuno club room, Sugawara had run off to the bathroom which left you alone; not that you minded of course. Sometimes a little bit of peace and quiet while you wander past various different crews is nice. It allows you to have the freedom of walking from place to place and being able to let your eyes roam around your surroundings. Normally with Sugawara you had only kept your eyes on him and the road ahead, not wanting to seem disinterested in the many things he talked about. You notice how the clubrooms are closely packed together, the smaller teams sit in one area while the bigger teams are only a few metres apart - and that the more… successful crews have more members and a larger room. Shiratorizawa was slightly larger than Dateko’s, Seijoh and Karasuno’s. You guess it's simply because they are the champions and need the extra room to store their trophies. Dateko and Karasuno are on the same side, Seijoh and Shiratorizwa mirror them which forms a square between them. You let a small smile ease it’s way onto your face, it was freezing but you were excited to speak with Shouyou and congratulate him on his race. 

You freeze when you hear a quiet sob, you narrow your eyes as you look around you but no one seems to be crying - there’s no one outside either. Just when you get ready to move again you hear another sob, and against your brain’s desire, you make your way to the sound. You can't help yourself, you hate it when someone is in pain.

There is a figure hunched over behind a tree and from where you’re standing they look like a guy. You slowly walk up to them and put your hand on their shoulder before crouching down next to them; ‘hey are you alright-- Oikawa! What are you doing here?’

Oikawa wipes the tears off of his face and looks away from you, his body shrinking into itself as if he was trying to protect himself. ‘Listen up, brat, I don't care about you nor do I know you. Why are you here? What did I do to deserve being plagued by you? Why can't you just leave me alone huh?’

You retract your hand and let out a long sigh. He was obviously upset and didn't mean the things he said; or maybe he did, but it didn't matter, all that mattered was that you knew he was alright - even if you despised him to some degree. ‘Oikawa… I’m sorry, I'm not sure what’s made you so distraught but I want to help… is there anything I can do-’

‘No! Just leave! I don't want nor do I need you here.’

The kind smile you put up to comfort him shakes a little before it regains its composure. ‘Should I get Hajime?’

The atmosphere becomes deafeningly silent and stays that way for a minute, ‘no,’ he whispers as more tears roll down his crimson cheeks, ‘I know we have this strange relationship where we both dislike each other but do me a solid, don’t tell anyone you saw me like this.’

You have to lean in close to hear him and you find yourself shivering at his voice, it was smooth and sweet like chocolate and you think it suits him completely. ‘I promise, and I know we don't like each other, but I have an idea to make you feel better… let's be friends for the night,’ you say as you place your hand back on his shoulder.

He flinches like last time while he looks at you - shock written all over his face, ‘I'm sorry what?’

You lose your balance which results into you falling onto your behind and you feel your face heat up; ‘I- well, it's just that I thought maybe we could just head over to some fast food restaurant and get you a drink to cheer you up and get your mind off of whatever and, and I uh thought maybe it was best to go with me because um I don't know maybe a stranger’s company is what you need?’

He scowls at you before sighing and getting up, ‘yeah… maybe you’re right. Let's be friends for the night.’

✄.

You find yourself in the passenger seat of Oikawa’s car and despite your initial thoughts, the car doesn't smell half bad - in fact it smells good, it reminds you of hot cocoa on a winter’s day. You look out the window and see the street lamps fly by and soon enough, you arrive at an all day Starbucks located at a seemingly abandoned gas station. 

Oikawa gets out of the car first and walks around to open the door for you; ‘you didn't have to do that…’

‘I didn't but I did anyway so you should be saying thank you.’

You resist the urge to scoff and instead, opt to roll your eyes in a semi playful manner, ‘yeah you're right, thank you my King,’ you fake courtesy after you get out.

You look up to see him scowling down at you but still doing his best to bite down a smile, ‘come on, let's just get a drink and never speak again.’ You laugh at that.

✄.

‘I'll get one vanilla bean frappe, thank you, oh uh… medium size thank you!’

‘Your orders will be ready shortly!’ says the cashier.

Oikawa leads you over to an empty table that was seated towards the back of the food court. ‘So you have a sweet tooth huh?’

‘Yeah I guess… could say the same for you? An iced coffee with caramel.’

His lips twitch up into a smile, ‘yeah I guess.’

You sigh as you lean back into the chair, ‘we totally got off on the wrong foot, didn't we?’

Oikawa looks out the window, ‘yeah we totally did… I guess I'm partly to blame.’

You make a sound of agreement, ‘yep. I know you said that this would be a one time thing, but I think so far it’s been nice to be with someone who doesn't really know you. I'm not sure… I'm tired so I'm really just rambling.’

‘No, I understand perfectly. Being with a stranger, someone who doesn’t know you, feels free I guess. They don't know what's going on in your head and they are entitled to know how you're feeling or whatever.’

Silence takes over as you both continue to drink. ‘Maybe… maybe we could become friends or something?’

Oikawa sighs and looks at you with an unreadable expression, ‘no. That's the deal we made, we aren't going to become friends. But… you did help me feel a bit better I guess, I'm not crying anymore so that's a plus…’

You bite your lip and look away, contemplating on what to say next. Oikawa’s gaze is still focused on you, making you feel small. You look him in the eyes, ‘let's stay as strangers.’

He lets out an amused scoff, ‘stay as strangers? What's the supposed to mean?

Suddenly you feel nervous, naked and exposed. ‘Well I just thought that uh maybe, maybe you and I could, umm, we could y'know do this every so often? But stay as strangers… we just meet up get a drink and stay in each other’s presence but we don't get to know each other-’

‘I like it. But let's set some rules as well, yeah?’ your eyes widen in shock, you didn't think he would actually agree. ‘First off, no interacting with each other away from this, and if we do we continue to be rude to each other? We stay as far away as possible - mentally that is.’

‘Second rule, no falling in love.’

‘Shouldn't that be obvious?’

‘I- yes, yes it should but you seem to have a thick skull so I have to make sure you know.’

He smirks, ‘well, looks like you can be mean.’

‘What's that supposed mean!?’

‘Oh? Absolutely nothing darling,’ oh, there it is; that irritating pet name, ‘let's continue with our rules. I say for rule three we tell nobody.’

‘Agreed, so far we have, one - stay as strangers, two - don't fall in love slash become friends and three, tell nobody. How about one more, we can confide in our problems with each other but not get to know each other on a personal level?’

‘I like that.’ he smiles, and God it is so beautiful. I think that’s about right. How about I take you home?’

You look up at him and smile, ‘that’d be helpful.’

✄.

You watch as Oikawa’s car speeds off into the night before you make your way to your apartment which is regrettably on the third floor. Trudging up the stairs you curse at yourself for making a deal with the devil - no, not Oikawa, but with the landlord who told you that the ‘three flights of stairs was short and easy to walk up.’ What utter bullshit. 

You pull out your apartment keys and go to open the door but something is blocking your way. Looking up from the floor you find this something to be someone, and this very someone is the very ex-lover who shattered your heart. ‘Kiyoko,’ your voice is breathy and shaky, it sounds as though you are trying to convince yourself that what you see before you is real and not an illusion.

She looks down, ‘hey Yn,’ she starts off softly, ‘I thought maybe we could talk… you weren't at The Garage tonight with everyone else and I assumed you still lived in the same apartment.’

You glare at her, ‘I'm sorry what? How do you know about The Garage?’

Kiyoko looks taken aback, ‘I'm the other manager. You didn't know that?’

Now it's your turn to be confused, ‘no, no I did not. I just assumed that someone had the same name as you…’ you felt like an idiot because what you are telling her is the honest truth. 

She quietly giggles, ‘I see. Well I haven't been there the past two weeks… I've been out of town-’

‘Please just get to the point,’ you beg.

‘I think it’s fate. I want to give it another go- I want to give us another go. I still have your number and I know you still have mine…’

You scowl at her as you walk past into your apartment, ‘and get my heartbroken? Again! No thanks.’ And with that, the conversation is over and the door is slammed on Kiyoko’s face.

You walk into your room and sit besides the bed. Kiyoko’s offer is tempting, you really do want nothing more than to climb back into her arms and inhale her scent, you want nothing more than for her to run her hands through your hair as she places delicate kisses to your forehead. ‘Fuck!’ you yell out.

✄.

Kiyoko walks down the stairs to Sugawara’s car, ‘How’d it go?’ he asks. She looks away and he takes it as a sign that she doesn't want to speak about it. ‘Still, I really had no idea you and Yn had a history like that… Why did you two break up?’ She stays silent and Sugawara knows he should drop the subject.

Taglist: @dadchi-oya @cutepet09

flowers — peter parker

{ in which you work at a flower shop and one boy catches your attention }

a/n: another repost! this was one of the fics i was most proudest of, and i still am to this day. enjoy!

word count: 4.1k

warnings: mentions of death, angst, and good ole’ fluff

MASTERLIST

The colorful petals of each flower made the small shop even brighter, inviting new customers in as they walked by. The combination of all the different aromas filled the space, pleasing your senses every time you strolled in for work.

You scrunched up your face as you breathed in the fresh scent the first time you walked in, already feeling a slight headache forming. You were in desperate need of some money, searching job after job all over Queens. All of them rejected you, explaining that they wanted someone with a little more experience. The owner of the flower shop, however, was kind enough to give you a job even though they weren’t hiring.

She saw potential in you.

New customers came in everyday, usually wandering around the store for bit before picking out the flowers of their choice. They kept you busy, handing you their picks for you to assort them into a beautiful bouquet. Seeing their faces as you handed them the finished product was enough for you to work there. Their expressions were nothing but pleased and delighted, something that always made your heart happy.

The soft sound of a bell rang as a customer walked in, the door closing behind him as he hung his head low, heading towards the lilies area. Your eyebrows furrowed at him, surprised that he didn’t even bother to greet the workers behind the counter. You ignored him for now, continuing to tie the small selection of flowers the previous customer had chosen together before the boy dropped a few white lilies on the counter.

He swung his backpack in front of him, reaching for his wallet in the front pocket as you happily handed the finished assortment to the patient customer. You carefully picked up the lilies, fixing them a bit before you grabbed a matching white ribbon to tie them together. The boy rocked back and forth on his heels, noticing the small details in the flowers that surrounded him. You snuck in a few quick glances at him, studying his face as you purposely took your time.

His bright, yet tired brown eyes tried to hide under his floppy, curly hair, and the shadow from his hood wasn’t enough to cover the evident bags underneath his eyes. A frown appeared on your face the longer you examined him, wondering if he was okay or not, but it was none of your business. You gave a sad smile as you tied a nice bow around the stems, ushering him to move towards the cashier so he could pay. 

“How are you today?” You asked, accepting the money he handed you. He nodded his head with his lips in a fine line, not wanting to give a vocal answer. 

You raised your eyebrows when you saw that he had given you the perfect amount of cash, staring back and forth at the boy who couldn’t be bothered to look at you. The question of whether or not he had bought this exact arrangement before ran through your mind as you placed the money in the drawer and gently handed him the flowers. 

He drew his hand from his hoodie pocket to accept them, and you flinched once you felt how freezing cold his fingertips were. Despite how warm the weather was outside, he still remained to be cold as ice. 

He kept a gentle grip around the stems of the lilies, his gaze still anywhere but at you as he quickly thanked you. 

“H-have a good day,” you voice came out shaky, noticing that he was already heading towards the door. He mumbled out a ‘you too’ that you barely heard, his grip on the small bouquet tightening a little. 

It saddened you to see someone so distraught as him, but you knew it wasn’t your place to ask him if he was okay. He was just a customer, someone you’d probably never see again. However, the tiredness in his eyes was still very visible even though he had left already, which made you want to help him even more.

“That was Peter Parker.”

You flipped around to see your boss leaning against the doorframe which led to the backroom and her office. She mirrored your sad smile from earlier as she uncrossed her arms to sort the paperwork that was lying on the counter. 

“You know him?” You asked, twiddling with the edge of your sleeve. 

“The boy comes in every tuesday to buy the same arrangement,” she said as she shrugged. “He never really says anything about it. I always thought it was for a girl though.”

Your brows knitted in a frown. It didn’t make sense to you, why he looked so distraught, why he couldn’t look at you, why his hands were so cold. If he buys them for a girl, then why does it look like he’s distraught about it? 

———

He was on your mind for the rest of the month, briefly showing up every Tuesday with the same heartbroken expression on his face. As much as you would have liked to forget about him like any other customer, his distressed look along with the bags under his eyes never left your mind. 

When the 4th Tuesday came along, you anxiously waited behind the counter for him to walk through the door. You bounced your leg up and down on the stool, swirling in it every now and then as you kept your gaze on the clock. 

Minutes felt like hours as the clock finally read 6:30 pm, 30 minutes before the shop was supposed to close. You frowned at the assumption he probably wasn’t going to show up today before you heard the bell ring. Your head shot up at the sound, immediately recognizing the figure that had been in your head for the last month. 

Peter looked a little better today, at least from what you could see. There wasn’t hoodie to shield his face from everybody, instead he wore a worn down grey sweater with a blue flannel underneath, the collar poking out a bit. His hands were tucked in his jean pockets as he wandered over to the lilies, giving you a small smile on the way.

You were surprised by his difference in mood, eyebrows raising as a smile of your own formed. He still looked just as tired, but the bags under his eyes were less noticeable and his hair was less curly, indicating that he had put in the time to do it this morning. It wasn’t long before he appeared in front of the counter, with the same number of white lilies and money in his hand as usual. He handed you both at the same time, graciously accepting the items with both of your hands so you wouldn’t drop it.

As you grabbed the white ribbon to tie the flowers together, the brown-haired boy took this time to look around the shop. His heightened senses made the floral aroma even more intense, his headache on the brink of surfacing. The different colors that surrounded him brought some sense of comfort that he couldn’t explain, and the fact that you were working today too made it better. 

The weight on his shoulders were gone the moment he set foot in that shop and saw you there the first time. You reminded him so much of her, your personality, your smile. If he was being honest, he thought you were her for a second before realization struck him like a ton of bricks. 

Her screams haunted him every night as he tried to fall asleep. That night was all he could think about, replaying the memory and imagining different scenarios where he was able to save her. He scolded himself every chance he got on the mistakes he made that day, how he had let her walk home by herself, to letting himself get distracted. It was all his fault.

Peter’s phone rang as he was swinging around the city. Her name appeared on his screen which made a soft smile form. He pulled off his mask as he answered the call and brought the phone to his ear, finding the nearest rooftop to rest on.

“Hey baby! Did you make it home safe?”

It was silent for a solid 15 seconds, but he swore it felt like hours. His heart immediately stopped as he sensed that something was wrong.

“What kind of boyfriend are you to let your girlfriend walk by herself, hm?” The man taunted.

His voice was intimidating enough to make even Peter’s skin crawl. He could hear his girlfriend’s pleading cries in the background, making tears swell up in his eyes.

“P-please. Don’t hurt her.” Peter begged, biting the inside of his mouth in fear. 

A devious laugh could be heard from the other side of the line. “You don’t get to be making the calls here, kid.” 

KAREN immediately started tracking her phone for him, to which her location appeared on the screen almost instantly. Peter quickly put his mask back on as he kept the man on the line, keeping it as reassurance that she was still alive. Luckily, he wasn’t too far from them. 

He crawled on top of the glass roof once he was at the destination, keeping an eye on the man and his girl from above. Peter mapped out a plan in his head as he carefully dropped himself onto the ground, not wanting to ruin his entrance. 

However, the man sensed his presence. The sound of a gun cocking sent shivers down Peter’s spine, in which he immediately started shaking his head and running towards him and her. 

“Stop-, stop! Please, I’ll do anything.” Tears fell down onto his cheeks, his breathing hitching at every word he spoke. Her voice cracked as she screamed out for her boyfriend, making Peter’s heart clench in pain. He swore that nothing would happen to her, and she believed him. She thought that he was able to keep her safe, even with all the enemies Peter made daily. He warned her about the life she was getting into, but she didn’t care. She pledged to be with him through anything because of how in love they were. 

Peter thought he had done a good job of protecting her, but he was clearly wrong.

“You’re too late.” The man spat out. The ringing sound of a gun going off wasn’t loud enough to shield the high pitch screams from her, making Peter drop to his knees as screams of his own escaped. His whole world had suddenly turned dark. 

Peter shook his head when he heard someone call his name. His face had paled at the memory as his gaze were set on the lilies in front of him. “W-what?”

Your brows bumped together in a scowl, worried  spelled all over your face. The seemingly okay boy was now full of trauma, eyes wide. The words got caught in your throat, but they were screaming it in your mind. I barely know you but I’m worried about you. Are you okay?

All you could do was hand him the bouquet, your hands shaking out of nervousness. He hesitated before reluctantly receiving them, taking in a few deep breaths in the process. His eyes went back and forth between you and the flowers, trying to come up with a proper excuse for his behavior. 

“I-, uh.. I’m-. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head as he turned around and bolted out the door. You didn’t have enough time to say anything back before he was already gone. You stood there in shock with your hands at your side, contemplating the action you were about to do.

The door was on the verge of fully closing as you slipped through it, turning your head side to side to see where the curly-haired boy went. He was nowhere in sight, almost like he had disappeared. A frustrated sigh left your lips as you went back inside the shop so you could properly clock out. It seemed like you were going to have to see him the next week.

The walk home was something you never really enjoyed. People on the streets usually tried to get your attention, which led you to just walking right past them. The music was playing through your headphones as you past the local cemetery, a place where you usually tried to pass as fast as possible. You would have ignored the place as usual if it wasn’t for the familiar looking silhouette that rushed a few yards in front of you. They were holding nothing but a candle and the same bouquet of lilies that you had made earlier. Peter.

Curiosity ran through your mind as your eyebrows knitted together, slowly following the figure into the cemetery. It wasn’t long before he stopped in front of a tombstone, kneeling down as he placed the flowers beside it and lit the candle.

You hid behind the closest tree, poking your head out as you watched closely as to what he was doing. He already knew you were there the second he entered the cemetery. His movements were slower than usual as he crosses his legs in front of her grave. You slowly walked towards him as he mumbled words to her, not wanting to interrupt him. He bowed his head as he played with the leaves in front of him, talking about how his week was to her.

The sound of a leaf crunching made you retract your foot, your face showcasing a panicked look. Peter didn’t seem phased as he continued to rip the leaf in his hand apart.

“I already know you’re there.”

You let out a big sigh as you ambled towards him, now standing right behind the boy. He ushered for you to sit next to him, still keeping his gaze ahead of him. You hesitated for a bit, but finally obliged as you lowered yourself onto the grass.

You studied the fairly new tombstone in front of you as the words engraved slowly broke your heart the more you read. 

Emily Watson.

August 15, 2001 — November 6, 2018

Beloved daughter and friend.

An awkward silence filled the space between the two of you for a while. The both of you didn’t know what to say, especially since you’ve never had a real conversation before. You bit the inside of your mouth as you exhaled deeply while Peter closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying forming the right words to say to you.

“S-she-, she was murdered.” He mumbled, your eyes widening at the news.

The screams replayed in his head as he took in a deep breath. Your eyes widened at the information, immediately feeling sympathetic for the boy next to you. He sniffed as his hand went to wipe the tears that had escaped away, not wanting to see him any more vulnerable. It was obviously failing.

“A man called me from her phone while I was… working,” he coughed, “I usually walk with her home but I wasn’t able to that day... He-, he took her right in front of her apartment building, and I wasn’t able to protect her.” More tears slipped out, along with a few of your own. 

You didn’t know what to say back at this point, and even if you did, you couldn’t. Something so horrific to this poor boy and he had to go through it alone. 

“It’s ironic. I’m Spider-Man.. I’m supposed to be able to save people. I do save people, everyday, But yet I couldn’t protect the one person that meant the world to me. What kind of superhero does that make me?”

The words slipped right out of Peter’s mouth, and he didn’t even care. Your eyes widened while your jaw dropped a bit, your posture suddenly becoming a lot straighter. It all clicked in your head.

The news of Spider-Man disappearing 6 months ago broke the Internet, rumors spreading around school about what could have happened. You usually paid no attention to it, but the constant conversations you heard in the halls stuck with you.

“Maybe he died..” Someone whispered as you gathered your belongings in your locker.

“No.. I don’t think so. Don’t you think they would have found his body by now?”

“No one can just disappear like that unless they die.”

You tensed at their words, wishing that you weren’t there at the moment.

You always had admired Spider-Man for always putting others first. He was brave, courageous, and you knew it took someone special to put themselves on the line everyday. When news broke out that he went missing, your heart sunk right to the floor, but you always prayed that he was still out there watching us.

And here he was in the flesh, with a broken heart sitting next to you as he stared at her tomb. 

A million thoughts ran through your mind faster than you could even process them. Peter didn’t even bother to try and cover up his mistake, and you knew he wasn’t going to. He was purely in pain, ranting to a seemingly complete stranger that was doing nothing but listening. The emotions he bottled up for months was hitting it’s breaking point. He was hurting, and you wanted to take the pain away from him so bad.

“You can’t save everyone.” You whispered.

His head turned towards you as he let out a dry laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I could have saved her. I should have saved her.”

You shifted your body towards him, grabbing his hand, making him flinch before easing into your touch. “It’s not your fault,” you sighed, “there was nothing you could do.”

“H-he killed her right in front of me,” he cried, his shoulders slumped, “it’s-, it’s like I was just there to watch.”

His breathing started to become irregular the more he thought of her death. He closed his eyes as sobs slipped through his lips, his body becoming weaker by the second. You held the back of his neck as you brought him in for a hug, trying to comfort him the best you could. 

Peter’s cries shook his entire body, the pain against his chest becoming almost impossible to bear. Tears started to weld up along the rim of your eyes, causing you to blink rapidly so they would go away.

You couldn’t even imagine how broken he must have been inside. The anger, the guilt, the grief. The boy didn’t deserve to feel that kind of pain. Your breathing began to become a little shaky the longer you two stayed in that position, your fingertips playing the little hairs on the nape of his neck. 

“It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.” You repeated, your voice quiet enough for just Peter to hear. “Emily would want you to know that it’s not your fault.” 

It was enough to calm Peter down as his breathing became regular again. His chin rested on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you to complete the hug.  No one had been able to calm him down this easily since Emily, which would usually make him more upset. But instead, he felt content for the first time in a while. 

Your touch was different than hers. Your hands weren’t as soft or warm, nor did your hair smell as sweet. Although, your smile was just as comforting as Emily’s, and your voice was so soothing that it could bring Peter into a slumber. It was different, yet the same, and it was enough to relieve the tension off Peter’s shoulders. 

He was the first one to pull away, wiping his tears and nose as he settled into his previous spot. His eyes landed on the white lilies as his face formed a tight-lipped smile, the first genuine one in a long time.

The stems rested between his fingers as he picked it up before rolling it between the tips of his fingers. “She always told me that white represents purity and innocence,” he smiled, “and how she wanted her wedding to be filled with lilies.” 

“Little did I know, they symbolize that the soul received restored innocence after death.” 

Peter placed the lilies back in front of Emily’s tomb as you bit the inside of your mouth, sadness written all over your face. 

It all made sense. Why he strolled into the shop with a look of sadness, why he bought the same amount of lilies, why he came in every week. It was because of her, yet something so beautiful was also something painful.

“I bet she loves them…” you forced a smile, making Peter nod in reply. “Yeah.. I do too.”

There was another silence, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was filled with a sense of serenity, making you sigh in relief. There was no more weight on Peter’s shoulders. His world was suddenly a lot brighter despite how dark it was outside, and there were no more screams echoing in his head, haunting him every minute of his day. Instead it was filled with your voice, telling him it was going to be okay.

“Tell me more about her.” You hesitated a bit, not wanting to put him on the spot but he smiled. Peter grabbed the hand that was resting on your thigh, like it was waiting for someone to hold it. You looked up at him surprised, almost thinking that it was a mistake. His thumb rubbed the back of your hand as he smiled from ear to ear, beginning to talk about the amazing things Emily and him have done. And although the two of you were currently sitting in front of the girl who made his world dark, talking to you made the pain disappear. You reminded him of what he had felt like before he had met Emily, and whether or not that was a bad thing, he was so thankful for it.

———

Thursday nights were always the least busy for the shop. You sat behind the counter once again, anxiously waiting for your shift to be over before the familiar sound of a bell ringing was heard. Peter stood there as the door closed behind him with a genuine smile on his face, but you were a bit confused as to why he was coming in on a Thursday night.

He walked towards the other half of the shop, an area he had never been in before as he carefully examined the different types of flowers in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you saw that he had picked 5 red roses. It was a first for him. 

Peter gently laid the roses out on the counter with his bottom lip between his teeth to prevent a giddy smile. An eyebrow was raised as you carefully slid them closer to you, reaching for a red ribbon to do your usual task.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” You teased, cocking your head to the side as you tied a bow around the stems, handing it to him as you were done.

His efforts were no use as a big smile was plastered all over his face, accepting the roses as he handed you a 10 dollar bill. You opened the cash register to place the piece of valuable paper in the drawer and gather Peter’s change before you saw the same roses out of the corner of your eye. A soft laugh left your lips, not understanding why is was he was giving them back to you. The building sweat from the palm of your hand was slowly transfering to the coins resting there as you stared back at the cheeky boy.

“You,” Peter smiled, now fully exposing his teeth. 

A smile of your own formed as a breathy laugh escaped, handing Peter his change as he placed the roses in your hands. You shook your head at his attempt of being smooth, muttering out a ‘thank you’ as Peter nodded.

“I read somewhere online that uh-, roses symbolize gratitude.” He admitted, his cheeks turning into a light shade of red. “So I.. wanted to get you some-”

You placed the roses back on the counter as you ran around to give Peter a hug, catching him off guard at first before he wrapped his arms around you once again. The two of you stood in the middle of the shop as time seemed to have stopped. The both of you didn’t want to be the first to let go, scared to let this precious moment end already. Peter nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, smiling from how safe you felt as he held him tighter. 

Emily was one thing, but you were an entirely different thing and he was so happy about it. He was comfortable in someone’s arms again, and he was internally thanking anyone that was listening for letting it be you.

Lost Love

word count= 6.9k

warnings= angst, language & fluff

It was strange, because you didn’t know that you were even in love with him until you couldn’t touch him anymore. When you weren’t allowed to call him and tell him about your day or drive over to his house in the middle of the night due to a lack of sleep. Once there were no more kisses on the forehead or lazy arms around the waist, it was when you realized that you were totally and completely in love with Shawn Mendes.

It was a short but passionate filled relationship that made you feel like you just had the wind knocked out of you once it was over. He was kind when he gave you tight hugs every time you watched a sad movie, and he was generous when he always made sure to bring you coffee in the mornings that he visited you. He made you feel beautiful when he gave you longing looks in kitchen lighting, and he made you feel whole by zipping up your jackets before you went out into cold weather together.

You both knew that when your relationship had begun it was not going to last forever even if you both wished that it had. It was a love set with a timer waiting to go off at any moment and once it had, you fell apart. He was a rockstar with a deep passion for living life to the fullest while you were a writer that liked your world quiet and small. He couldn't understand your outlook on serenity while you couldn’t grasp his ideas on being the rebel. Some might believe that this could cause you both to balance each other out while others would say this was a recipe for destruction.

So as you stood in line with your now ex-lover’s new album in your hands, you felt your heart shaking around in its cage. You felt like you just lost this imaginary battle with yourself once you gave the cashier your card. You stared down at his face that was on the front of the record, being upset over the fact that he looked more gorgeous than ever.

“Excuse me, M’am! Hello?” the cashier asked.

“Oh I’m sorry, thank you.” you whispered quietly as you took your credit card back along with the plastic bag holding Shawn’s music inside. Usually you would be embarrassed by your actions but you forgave yourself due to the intense circumstances.

Through everything that you now had to do without Shawn, driving was one of the hardest. Everytime you would turn on music, which was now significantly less, you expected to hear his voice singing along with the song. You didn’t know what to do with your extra hand now since you were so used to having it in his before. It especially made you twitch whenever you would look over to the passenger side and see no one there.

Once you turned the key into your door, you remembered how Shawn never gave you your spare key back. There was a glimpse of hope in your chest thinking that maybe he would run into your apartment one day and make some big romantic gesture to win you back. Then you realize it’s been five months since the break up and Shawn had bigger things to do than be heartbroken about a simple ex-girlfriend, or holding on to her old house key for that matter.

You set down your things at the table, quickly peeling off the plastic of his shiny new record. You had thought a lot about this record, whether or not you wanted to listen to it, or touch it or even see it at all. Though once you were sitting on your living room floor, crying your eyes out over the fact that you wished you never left, you knew that the last option to find closure was to listen to his music.

Finding your record player in your hallway closet was hard for you since it was amid every other thing you had stuffed away that reminded you of Shawn. There were shirts and candles and even pillows that had been hidden away into the confined walls, because you chose to believe that if it was out of sight, it was out of mind. You knew that you should probably have thrown everything away all those months ago but letting go of his things meant that you were letting go of him which hurt just a little too much. It was hard when you had almost nothing left inside your apartment but it was better than constantly thinking about Shawn every time you stepped into a room.

You plugged the record player into the wall gently sliding the large black disk out of its cover. You knew that you could’ve just listened to the album on your phone but Shawn would’ve been disappointed to know you were listening to music that way. He always said that it was better on a record player because it showed the true rawness of the music. You hesitated to start playing the record but once you did, you knew there was no going back.

Shawn always had intense anxiety which also brought along panic attacks. He was usually good at controlling his anxious antics around you but he wasn’t so good at calming down once those antics got out of control. He always spoke about how he wished that he could spread awareness about his anxiety through a song one day, so with “In My Blood” he finally did.

It was four in the morning when you woke up to hearing the soft keys of the piano being played. Shawn told you he was going to come to bed within the hour but apparently he decided against it. You quickly walked out of his bedroom where you had fallen asleep, wearing only his t-shirt. Once you had reached his music room, you saw him sitting there with nothing but boxers on, playing the piano quietly but harshly. He was always gentle with his instruments, so it surprised you to see him playing with such persistence.

“Shawn,” you quietly whispered, walking over to rest your head on top of his. “Love, you should come to bed, it’s late.”

You kissed his temple while gently wrapping your arms around his neck. You expected an array of different responses to your request but none of them included him breaking down in tears. His head was looking down against the floor, his body shaking as a sob left his mouth. You were quick to jump around and sit in his lap, holding his head in your palms.

“It’s going to be okay. Shh, it’s all going to be alright Shawn.”

You didn’t know what was happening, only hoping that you could stop his tears with your reassuring words. He slowly wrapped his arms around your body, adjusting his face to lean into your neck.

“What if I’m not good enough? I keep trying to write a song but everything comes out as a mess.” His grip around you tightened as he spoke the heartbreaking words.

You kissed his bare shoulder, rubbing his back with one hand while the other was locked in his hair. You thought he was insane for thinking such a thing, since you knew that you could listen to his singing for the rest of your existence being fully content.

“I think that’s a part of the process sadly, but even then it’s all rewarding. You are going to end up with a beautiful song Shawn, I know it. You just have to keep doing your best, which you always do.” He gently pulled you back from his embrace, giving you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Let’s go to bed, you need some sleep.”

Before Shawn, you dated men who completely shattered your confidence in not only yourself but mankind. You were terrified to start a new relationship with someone but when you met Shawn, he was hard to resist. He was beautiful and kind, just as much as he was thoughtful and funny. Hanging out with him day after day eventually led to stolen kisses which led to a night where you broke the promise you had made yourself. He wrote “Fallin’ All In You” just about that occurrence.

Waking up on Shawn’s chest, wearing nothing but the blanket that covers you both was startling to say the least. You could feel his arms around your naked torso, and the bright sunshine warming your face through the windows. You felt this strange mix of comfort and relaxation while also feeling like sirens were going off inside your heart. You promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for him, let alone sleep with him. There was now a decision to be made about whether you would accept your defeat and bask in his love or leave before he woke up and pretend like nothing had ever happened.

God seemed to make the decision for you as Shawn pulled you closer to his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Goodmorning, sweetheart.” he whispered into your hair that you could only imagine was everywhere.

The urge to leave was starting to dissipate as the need to stay started to blossom. You could get used to forehead kisses and morning embraces.

“Wanna help me make us breakfast?” you spoke into his chest, hearing the rumble of laughter come from his chest, assuming he was nodding eagerly.

Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.

Once your relationship ended, you kept in contact with a few mutual friends between you and Shawn. You didn’t want to go out and see people because if you saw people then you would be reminded of him, someway, somehow. About a month after the night that ended it all, you finally met with one of these mutual friends for lunch, deciding it was time to try and finally socialize. That’s when you first heard about “Where Were You In The Morning”.

You felt so insecure walking into the outdoor mall all by yourself, feeling so hideous and uncomfortable. It had been a full month since the last time you put yourself into the public. Living off of postmates was a lot easier than expected, especially with you already working at home. You saw so many happy children and couples surrounding you, causing tears to build up in your eyes before you blinked them away. You saw your friend sitting at a table in the outdoor seating of your new favorite restaurant. You could no longer go to your old favorite because it was Shawn’s as well.

She gave you a tight hug when you sat down next to her. It felt good to be hugged with so much care and love, not having the chance to experience that since a month ago.

“So how are you? You look great (y/n).” She spoke with such a brightness in her voice, realizing that she truly did care about your well being.

“I’m not great. I miss him so much Myla.”

Tears slipped down your face, while you desperately tried to wipe them away.

“I know. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this but he’s actually writing a song about you right now.”

You didn’t know if you should have been surprised or not. It didn’t sound like Myla was, but maybe that’s just because she wasn’t trying to make you feel any worse.

“What’s it about?”

“He doesn’t know what he wants to call it yet, but it’s about how when he wakes up in the morning and you're not there.” She whispered the ending, afraid of your response.

There was only one response echoing off the walls in your mind in that moment.

“I really love him, so much.”

“Nervous” was about everything you and Shawn were when you first met. There was a small get together happening at a local cafe for Easter Sunday, where friends were invited to hang out and have a peaceful brunch. You were mostly excited because you knew Shawn would be there, even though you both were never officially introduced. You had been asking about him, and it seems that he had been asking about you too.

You felt rain dripping down almost every crevice of your body once you were finally seated in your chair at the long and decorated table. You were grateful to find that no one had showed up yet, so you had some time to dry off. That time was cut short when you looked up to find Shawn Mendes walking through the front door. You were envious of the umbrella he held in his hand, allowing him to look as gorgeous as ever. He smiled once his eyes met yours, making you suddenly feel really lucky to be in the same room as him.

He came over and sat in the chair next to you wearing his regular black jeans and loose white floral t-shirt. You wished you didn’t look so awful, especially since you liked how you looked before the rain and clouds.

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Shawn.” His voice was soft and delicate.

“I’m (y/n) and it’s nice to finally meet you. I would shake your hand but I’m kind of a mess.” You tried pulling your wet curls behind your ears to make yourself more presentable.

“But a beautiful one.”

And for the first time in a long time, you believed it.

You hated yelling but you hated it a lot more when Shawn was doing it. It had only been two months since you first started officially dating, but six months since you first met. It was late when he got home that night but nonetheless you were still upset. He missed your date, without even a text to let you know. “Like To Be You (feat. Julia Michaels)” reminded you of the many differences between you and Shawn, and how those differences affected your relationship.

“Why are you three hours late, Shawn?” you whispered when he walked through the door. “You missed our date.”

When he closed the door and turned back towards you, he felt awful. He thought you looked beautiful even with the tears streaming down your cheeks and the messy knots in your hair.

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). I’ll go change right now and we can go.” Shawn turned quickly to the bedroom door, being stopped by (y/n)’s words.

“Do you even know what time it is?” you stood up taking off your shoes and coat, putting your purse on the coffee table.

“Uh, no I haven’t really looked.” he felt his throat closing up with guilt and his hands shaking with worry.

“It's eleven o’clock Shawn. Let me guess, you were at the bar for the last few hours totally forgetting about our plans? Not realizing that maybe having a few drinks with the guys could be skipped just for one fucking night to be with me?” you spoke in an oddly calm voice, that caused goosebumps to rise on his skin.

“What the fuck are you talking about? (Y/n), For the past two weeks, I haven’t spent time with anyone besides you! Look, I’m sorry about our date and all but you being upset with me for hanging out with my friends is bullshit.” His tongue was sharp and his tone was harsh as his guilt washed away with irritation.

“I’m just saying that this is at the very beginning of our relationship and if you can’t stay committed to your word then what am I doing here? By the way, I’m allowed to be angry with you for hanging out with your friends when it interferes with plans that you made with me.”

You could see the burning in his eyes and the words that were being held in his throat. You knew that look, and it meant he was going to yell which was your least favorite thing for him to do. Shawn was always such a soft soul but when it came to arguments his words became careless.

“What are you doing here? If you have to be asking yourself what you're doing in a relationship then maybe you shouldn’t be there at all. We are obviously very different people who can’t seem to agree on much, but I thought we could at least agree on why we’re here.” He basically screamed at you from across the room while his face turned red with hate.

He was right, why were you here?

Traveling was your most favorite thing to do, especially when it was to a place you had never been before. Shawn had told you earlier in the month that he had to go to Europe for a week-long event, so you decided that would be the perfect time to go to Japan. Midway through the bliss filled week, Shawn called to tell you he missed you dearly and that he was on his way to your hotel. Shawn wrote “Lost In Japan” just about that one day.

You tried to find your phone somewhere in the mess of your suitcase as you heard the ringing. You were worried that it might have been Shawn and you were about to miss his call. You picked it up to see his icon picture pop up along with the green button you pressed. Your face turned into a huge smile while pressing the phone against your ear.

“Hi love! I’ve missed your voice.” You giggled happily into the device basically jumping around the hotel room once you heard his laugh.

“Well, I’m going to be at your hotel door in about an hour so you shouldn’t be missing me too much longer.”

You immediately started to clean around the hotel room making sure everything was back into its place. You already felt slightly insecure by Shawn’s wealth, so having him stay with you in not only a small but also dirty room was far from appealing.

“Really? I can’t wait! I’m in room 324 just so you know.”

“Okay sounds great. Love you and I’ll see you soon.” he chuckled, having an edge to his voice.

Shawn had been saying I love you for the past week and you haven’t said it back yet. You not only weren’t sure if you loved him but you were also terrified of fully committing to him. By saying the three worded phrase that meant you were finally being vulnerable with him. Never in the past had that worked out so who said it was going to now?

“Uh, yeah! Bye.” You quickly hung up throwing your phone on your now nicely made bed. You knew you were breaking his heart, but you couldn’t allow him to break yours.

Shawn wrote “Particular Taste” about the six months of totally being obsessed with you, trying to track down your every move. You may have never planned on dating Shawn but man, did you love the chase. You were great at teasing him, and running away at just the right times to have him crumpling down to his knees for your mercy. He was crazy about you and you both knew it.

It was almost three in the morning when you were at Shawn’s listening to the quiet noises of the radio, while Shawn’s head was in your lap. He loved the feeling of your fingers in his hair, continuously twirling the thick curls. You were surprised to hear the tiny little snores that escaped his mouth while he wrapped his arms around your waist, secretly loving how his hands went under your shirt.

You had been doing a good job at not getting too close to Shawn, but you were also scared that you were totally leading him on. His heart was delicate and open while yours was cold with a thick brick wall surrounding it. For some reason though, looking down at him in your lap with rosy cheeks and pink lips, you felt your cold heart melt.

His eyes blinked open, immediately staring up at you with a small smile gracing his face.

“Hi there,” you joked. “I think it’s time you get some actual sleep.”

“What are you talking about? Your lap is perfectly suitable for my sleepy antics.” he snuggled his nose into your stomach, only holding onto you tighter.

In the middle of the meaningless banter, you heard the radio starting to play your favorite Kanye West song. You jumped up without a thought, dancing around the room without a care in the world. You didn’t like dancing but you loved this song, having your eyes closed swinging your arms around in happiness. That’s what it was, you realized. You were finally content and happy in that small moment.

You opened your eyes to see Shawn leaning his head against the arm of the couch, staring at your movements. You saw that he actually looked pretty happy as well. You stopped dancing, your body stilling as you stared right back into his eyes. You knew the butterflies in your stomach were real, as were the beats in your chest.

“God, you’re perfect.” he told you.

When the news broke to your family that Shawn and you were over, they were heartbroken to say the least. They loved him, no, they worshiped him, especially your little sister who was only nine years old. Your Mom constantly asked if you had found someone new and your Dad endlessly pestered you about losing the one good guy in your life. You felt lost and broken, only wanting this nightmare to be over. The song “Because I Had You” showed that Shawn was going through a similar time in his life.

The suitcase by your side, messy hair and careless outfit should’ve shown that your life was a mess if the tears already didn’t. It seemed like all you did recently was cry about everything. You opened the door to your old home, the one where you grew up and became the person you were today. You saw your Mom and Dad sitting on the couch, relaxing together and watching the television.

Their stare averted to you, having sad smiles on their face seeing the state that you were in. You shared their smile while you walked up the stairs towards your bedroom that you now had to share with your little sister. Your parents had turned your old bedroom into a home office once you moved out for college, which at the time you thought would be a good thing until now.

No, now you had to face your little sister and tell her that you and Shawn were over. That she was never going to make cupcakes with him, or have him teach her the guitar again. She told you time after time, not to let him go. You really wish you had listened.

You pushed the door open seeing her cute self, sitting on her bed painting her nails. You tried to remember how adorable and happy she looked relaxing there, knowing that in five minutes tops her emotions would be the opposite.

“Hi Samantha! I missed you.” you jogged across the room, giving her a tighter hug than usual.

“(y/n), can I call Shawn? I really need to ask him about a song I’m trying to learn on the guitar.” she naively begged you, reaching for the phone in your hand.

“I’m sorry Sam but you can’t right now. I actually need to talk to you.”

What were you going to say? How could you break the news without shattering her world into a million pieces.

“Oh okay, what about?” she looked back down to her toenails, finishing up the second coat.

“I, uh, well, me and Shawn are no longer together. We broke up about a month and a half ago. I’m really sorry, I kn-”

“I can’t believe you! He was it for you, (y/n). He was the one and you ruined it because you’re just scared of commitment.” Her eyes were wide and wet, showing her emotions were wild.

“I know I ruined it Sam. There are plenty of things that I wish I could change but it’s over and done now. I’m so sorry but there’s nothing I can do.” You waited for some type of response but there were now only blank stares and a quiet silence.

“I’m just going to go warm up some food from downstairs, okay? When I come back maybe we can talk more about it, yeah?”

Sam nodded her head in response, now knowing that you just lost the one love that was something real to you.

When you and Shawn first kissed it was a moment that you hoped to never forget. It was just before you had first got together, while he was playing a song on the guitar for you. It was an old song from one of his past albums, when you had the pleasure of having a front row seat to a private Shawn Mendes concert. You had never heard him play live and it was a long time coming. “Why” reminded you of that day, the day that caused months of love and inevitable heartbreak.

You had never played the guitar before but you could only imagine Shawn was the best at it. His calloused fingers showed hard work and dedication while his voice showed beauty and talent. When you walked into his apartment and heard his guitar playing from his patio, you were excited to finally hear his music from him. You opened the glass door, closing it behind you as you sat down next to him. He turned his face towards you, just then realizing how close he was.

You looked out to his beautiful view of the city, feeling that crisp evening air brushing against your face. Goosebumps grazed your shoulders and legs, Shawn quickly taking notice of your shivering. He placed a nearby blanket over you, softly rubbing your arms trying to warm you up quicker.

“Can you play me something? I’ve never heard you sing in person.” you told him, wrapping the blanket around you tighter.

“I would love to, which song?”

“Any song.”

He softly started to pick the strings of the instrument, while you recognized your favorite song of his. “Three Empty Words” held a strong meaning in your heart, because of how every past relationship of yours ended in meaningless I love you's.

As the song continued, the more your chest tightened with want and need. You wanted to kiss Shawn so badly, even if it was the worst decision you could make. You needed to feel him or touch him in some way that would actually satisfy your desire.

Once he finished the song and put the guitar down, you grabbed his face in your hands pulling his lips to yours. His hands eagerly wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You never had tasted lips like his before. You never had been touched like this before. Hell, you’ve never felt like this before.

His tongue pressed against your closed lips, begging for entrance. You welcomed him in, pushing your hands up into his wild, untamed curls. It could’ve been the coldness dancing in the air or the bright Moon gleaming in the sky, but you swore you would have kissed him forever if God let you.

May 22, 2017 was a heartbreaking day for everyone, including you and Shawn. “Youth (feat. Khalid)” reminded you of the bombs and screams that went off on the television that evening. You were in shock seeing the people fleeing from the concert as the worst day of their lives was marked.

Shattered glass surrounded your feet, quiet pants of surprise whispered into the air and desperate wishes of hope was all you now knew. You were standing in the doorway of the living room, bringing Shawn his nicely requested water when you heard the television.

You had met Ariana once at a small party of Shawn’s but never did you expect her life to take such a drastic turn. Then again, these things can never be expected or planned for, but only wished to never be experienced.

Shawn jumped up after he heard the glass shatter, quickly walking to the kitchen to wipe up the mess before you hurt yourself. Somewhere in you, there was a sliver of hope in your chest that you would cut your foot open on the glass, since nothing could be compared to the pain each victim was feeling. You felt like every single thing you had ever cried over was ridiculous, because you should have been instead grateful that it at least wasn’t a terrorist attack.

Shawn bent down in front of you wiping away each chip of glass, trying to focus on the mess instead of the television. He wanted to scream and shout and even kill whoever was behind the awful occurrence. He wanted to hate the world.

“I hate whoever did that. I wish they were dead.” Shawn whispered at your feet, with a face of steel.

“Don’t let this turn you into a hateful person, love. You’re better than that.” You pressed your hands into his shoulders beneath you, hoping to release the building tension in his body.

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“Queen” was about a bright morning breakfast get together that was supposed to be fun and light but turned sad and upsetting. You were really excited to get out of the house and wear your new white dress, but it wouldn’t really matter anymore what you were wearing once you saw Shawn enter the room. You weren’t proud of how you acted that morning and obviously Shawn wasn’t either.

“Oh hi (y/n), you showed up! We didn’t think you could make it.” Your few friends said as you sat down, joining them at the table.

“I decided it would be good for me to get out of the house. So is everyone here?” your question caused some people to have a look of surprise and some to be in a state of anguish.

You didn’t understand what was so worrying to them all about your presence, well, not until you looked to the front door. There he was in all his glory, wearing your favorite black jeans but a shirt that you did not recognize. Your heart clenched to realize that you no longer knew what every shirt of his looked like, or shoe or accessory. His curls were longer than you remembered, and you noticed how his facial hair was actually visible for once.

You needed to leave because within ten seconds you knew there would be tears and with no rebound rate.

“I’m so sorry but I have to go. I-I’m so sorry.” you softly murmured, jumping off your chair, haphazardly throwing your purse over your shoulder.

The first tear fell when you started your way to the door. Quick footsteps seemed to be working, right until his hand wrapped around your forearm. Nope, this can’t happen. You refused to cry in public let alone in front of him. Even with these thoughts swimming in your mind, you decided to stupidly just stand there in front of him.

The second tear fell when you looked up into his eyes. Your chin was wobbling and your eyes were rapidly blinking.

“Hi.” he whispered to you with a soft tone but a straight face.

“Please let go. I can’t do this.” you begged him, basically ripping your arm out of his grip, stumbling out of the front door with not even so much as a goodbye.

Every other tear you had, fell once you reached your car, loud sobs leaving your mouth. You missed him so bad.

You and Shawn didn’t seem like you were meant for each other during the end. There were one too many fights, one too many lonely nights, but only one heartbreaking moment where you both knew this wasn’t going to work out. You may have each ignored that one significant moment but it happened and it infinitely rang in your head. “Perfectly Wrong” was that moment.

You were sitting on the couch and Shawn was sitting on his bed. Both of you were in separate rooms on opposite sides of the house but it still didn’t seem far enough. You wanted to hate him, loathe him, but you couldn’t. You knew that and he knew that. These fights weren’t new so neither were these feelings.

This was getting close to the end, not because you didn’t want to do it anymore but because there weren’t any glasses left in the cabinet to throw. There weren’t any shirts in the closet to rip or any more hearts to break. The only thing left to do was sleep.

You stood up and walked to the bedroom, opening up the door and shuffling to your side of the bed. The blanket may have been warm and welcoming but nothing compared to the urge you had to drop into Shawn’s chest and sleep. He looked over to you and nodded slightly. You slid over and laid your head on his chest soon welcoming the sobs from your throat.

“I’m so sorry.” You cried to him, as he kissed your forehead repeatedly.

“I’m sorry too. You know I love you right?”

“Yeah.”

Love was a difficult subject for you both, since he told you he loved you everyday and you have yet to say it once. You lied there in his arms, holding him like he was going to disappear any second. You then realized in that moment, he was going to leave and so were you. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow but soon. This relationship was burning down rapidly, so quick that you were worried you wouldn’t even get to say goodbye.

In the beginning of your burning romance with Shawn, you were having a hard time committing to him. No, not in the way of finding someone else, but in the way of accepting your feelings for the man. When he asked you out on a first date, you were nervous. To be honest, you were surprised there even was a first date, since it seemed like you were both official after the shared one night stand. He wasn’t completely confident that you felt the same way he did, and that’s how “Mutual” was born.

Come on (y/n), just open the door and walk in. It was your mantra at that moment, because on the other side of the restaurant door, Shawn was sitting at a table somewhere waiting for you. The idea of seeing Shawn was exhilarating, but the idea of fully putting yourself out there was nerve wracking.

You finally opened the thick brown door, immediately seeing him at a small table with a bouquet of white tulips, which were your favorites. He stood up when he saw you, giving you a small hug and a peck on the cheek.

He looked handsome in, of course his black jeans, and a white button down shirt. His hair was just the right amount of floppy and curly to look perfect. His eyes seemed brighter than usual, which brought a smile to your lips.

“You look beautiful.” Shawn told you, pulling out your chair for you.

“Thank you, you do too.”

He kind of just stared at you for a moment, getting lost in your beauty. He swore you were prettier than anyone he’s ever seen.

“Did you order already? The menu looks delicious.” you asked, while looking down at the list of options.

“No, I wanted to wait for you. Didn’t want to seem rude.” he stared down at the menu as well, trying to comprehend what any of the words were telling him.

“Well let's order then.”

Once the waitress took your orders, also taking your menus, you had nothing left to stare at but him. You were shitting your pants for lack of a better word. Your knees were bouncing up and down, and your nails were tapping the table quite loudly.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m nervous too.” He took your hand in his. “We’ve been best friends for six months, I think we can handle a first date.”

“Yeah, I’m just scared that I’ll lose you if we don’t work out.” You bluntly stated, not really worrying anymore about hiding your thoughts.

“Losing you’s not an option for me, so I don’t think you need to worry about that.” He was confident in his words at that moment. His eyes shone brighter than the sun, while his gaze was loving and pure. You really hoped he was right.

You felt like you just woke up from a long bittersweet dream, once the last song started. You listened to the words intently, trying to find the memory in the lyrics. None came to mind though, because it wasn’t a memory he was relaying but instead a message to you.

“Maybe I had too many drinks

But that's just what I needed

I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying. sounds conceited

When I look across the room, and you're staring right back at me

Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'”

You grabbed your keys, sprinting out the door, not even locking it on your way out. You needed to be somewhere right now that wasn’t your home but someone else's. You were sure you were going nuts, totally and completely crazy but it was a lot better than being sad. For the first time in five months, you felt like things could be okay. That there was a chance at happiness.

“Don't know why I tried

'Cause ain't nobody like you

Familiar disappointment every single time I do

Every single night my arms are not around you

My mind's still wrapped around you”

You slammed your car door shut, running quickly up the walkway to his apartment. You could feel the blood pumping in your heart and the nerves dancing around your stomach. You were ready, finally ready to admit your love for him. You felt so ridiculous for every argument, every absent “I love you”, and every day without him in your bed.

“Baby, tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin'

Baby, any time you're ready

I'm waitin'”

Now you stood in front of his door that you haven’t seen in five months. You realize that it was a different color, and the old lettering was now replaced with shiny, new ones. You knocked a few times, backing up, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. What if he didn’t love you, what if every song was about someone else, what if you were wrong.

“Even ten years from now

If you haven't found somebody

I promise, I'll be around

Tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin'”

Shawn opened the door, surprised to see you before him. He saw the tears in your eyes, and the hair falling in front of your face. He noticed your dirty sweatpants, and huge sweatshirt. He wished that you were wearing his sweatshirt.

You felt your heart leap when he opened the door. He was wearing an old black t-shirt, with big stained basketball shorts. You wanted to hug him and kiss him, but you couldn’t. That wasn’t your job anymore.

“What if my dad is right

When he says that you're the one

No, I can't even argue

I won't even fight him on it

Call you when it's late

And I know that you're in bed

'Cause I'm three hours back

Seems like you're always six ahead”

There were lots of things you wanted to say to him.

“I love you and I never thought I would have the chance to tell you that but tonight I bought your album and I played it on the record player just like you taught me and I cried a lot. All these memories flashed in my head and I missed you and I thought your songs were perfect so I came here to tell you I love you.” You rambled, knowing that almost nothing you said made sense. “I know I’m not making sense but I want you. I’m ready for you and this relationship and if you don’t feel the same way then I’ll go home. I’ll try to get over it and I’ll try to finally throw away your things and maybe go out on a date even if I don’t like them. At this point though I don’t think any of that‘s going to work anymore.”

He was crying at your words since this was all he ever wanted to hear from you.

“And if I have to, I'll wait forever

Say the word and I'll change my plans

Yeah, you know that we fit together

I know your heart like the back of my hand”

“Can we just start over, and do everything the opposite of last time?” he asked you, trying to wipe off tears.

“Yes, please.”

You put your hand out for his to shake, as he put his in yours.

“I’m (y/n). ”

“I’m Shawn, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Even ten years from now

If you haven't found somebody

I promise, I'll be around

Tell me when you're ready

I'm waitin', I'm waitin'”

The amount it took me to write this while my mind was blanking is astonishing.  So take this shit story.

Ever since a strange accident involving the Black Dragon, an artifact called the Shatter Dagger and me; I’ve been shoved into the hell that was the world of kombat. I’ve been training with Earthrealm forces, trying to save my world from all sorts of bullshit I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams. Not to mention my own personal struggles dealing with the fact that if I wanted too I could create that Omen scene with the glass pane at anytime on anyone. Sure it was cool but it hasn’t been exactly easy to say the least. Hell, It’s been down right torturous at times. But even then I’ve manage to crawl out of bed every day, work my ass off with people 10 times more talented and experienced then me, and go back to sleep just to do the same thing in the morning. I mean that weird dagger chose me to be a warrior for some reason... so either that thing was wrong and the placebo effect is real  or there really is something more to me then a shy, chubby idiot that can barely talk to a cashier. Not like I could go back to normal life now, my life was different. I was sought after for what was in me, what I could do. If I didn’t learn to fight, everyone I knew and loved would be killed at the hands of anyone that wanted to get what was inside of me. And there happened was a lot of those as of late. But I had to admit, even through all the weird shit that i’d been through, I didn’t expect being at the filming of a new movie to be a ‘strategic move’. I mean that’s what Sonya called it, but I think she just wanted someone to look after Johnny while he was away. Not that anyone would go after him but, it never hurt to be cautious now adays. Outworld was getting bolder, looking for openings to take down the people they saw as threats and weirdly enough, Johnny was one of them. Just one at the bottom of the list. A low priority target. So why not send a low priority person just incase shit hit the fan. Hell if something did happen back at home, two people that weren’t much of a threat in the enemies eyes wouldn’t be a total lost. They still had hard hitters to protect what was important. I would’ve been more heartbroken knowing I was basically a crisp 5 bucks on Outworld’s most wanted list, but I was 20 feet away from like 4 major celebrities, and sitting in one of those fancy actor chairs with Johnny’s name stitched in it. I wasn’t too torn. “Excuse me, miss. Who are you?” One of the runner’s asked, a nervous look on his face. “People don’t seem to recognize you, and I just want to make sure you’re suppose to be here.” I paused, panic beginning to rise in me before remembering what Johnny told me to say. “I’m Mr. Cage’s plus one.” I dug in one of my pockets and pulled out a belt buckle with Johnny’s last name on it. “He said this should be proof enough.” “Ah... yeah.” He took a pause, observing the very gaudy engraved buckle, “ I’ll inform security then. They were getting a bit antsy.” The runner stumbled off without another word towards a large, menacing man blocking a door, whispering something to him before being called elsewhere on set. The large security man rolled his neck and nodded towards my direction, picking up his walkie-talkie to talk to presumably, the other security members. I turned back around, sinking into the rather uncomfortable chair. So glad to know that I was just mere inches away from being beaten to death by security and the only thing that made them stop was some belt buckle worth more then my life. “How’s my favorite Glass Slipper handling Hollywood?” A familiar voice rang out from the dark corner of the set. I turned my head and watched as a rather oiled up, shirtless Cage bounded over, a half drunken cup of iced coffee in hand. “Did you show them the belt?” “Yeah they were 2 minutes away from throwing me out so... “ I paused, staring at his chest for a few seconds. “You... look like someone dipped you in a fast food grease trap.” “Yeah, the audience goes crazy for oiled up guys. When the lights hit your body and the camera catches the glare just right? Cinema gold baby. You don’t wanna know how many fancams are just me drenched in baby oil and fake blood.” He gave a flex of his bicep before grinning wide. “Hell you seem like the type to make those things. You a secret fan?” I raised an eyebrow as I got up from the chair, cheeks staining pink. “No, I’ve probably only seen about 3 or 4 of your movies.” “Makes sense why your not freaking out more. You’re in the lap of luxury! Do you know how many people would kill to be where you are? Not the glass stuff... I mean here on a movie set, next to me, next to other actors! You’re gonna be watching the next big blockbuster in the flesh!” “I... I mean I am freaking out. This is alot I’m just not fangirling. I’m more just... alert.” I muttered, beginning to trail off as Johnny grabbed the script from under his chair, muttering to himself softly about ‘not respecting the art’ or something akin. Johnny was interesting to say the least. An actor turned fighter for Earthrealm all because of a misunderstanding. Even when he found out that it was a fight between realms and not just some fighting tournament that was way too into roleplaying, he stayed, finding out in the process that he had been from a long line of warriors with powers. And even though all of that happened he was still... him. Cocky, rude, arrogant. You’d think that something that life changing would... well change you but not Johnny. Ever since, everyone’s just sort of put up with him and his antics, even though I could see how close they were to decking him the face when he spoke. Most of the time, I was one of them but other times I could see something else in him, something more besides the douchebag he presented himself as. How suddenly nice he could get, how protective, serious. But those moments were few and far in between, especially when they were paired with moments like this. “Can you hand me a highlighter? Just over by the food table.”  I nodded, getting up and avoiding people with large bulky equipment that would easily put me into debt if I even thought of scratching it. I came back, handing the highlighter to the man. “Here you go Mr. Cage.” He raised an eyebrow as he grabbed the highlighter, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Mr. Cage? What are you my agent? You can call me Handsome, Sexy... really any adjective to describe a really good looking guy, Adonis maybe?” I could feel my cheeks get brighter, unsure if he was flirting with me or just trying to boost his own ego. What was I talking about, he wouldn’t flirt with someone like me. It was just him being an ass!  I turned my face away from him, beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable the longer I stood there. “Oh come on, that was funny! Don’t get your panties in a twist.” “A...are you serious? My panties in a twist? I’m not going to call you those things, especially here, someplace I’m not comfortable in!” I hissed under my breath as a passerby gave us a questionable look. ”Why? I’ve been called way dirtier things on and off the stage. These people are all use to it! I think that boom operator has even seen me get hot and heavy with a few actresses between takes. Honestly, I’m just trying to help you out, make you fit in with the crowd instead of looking like a little lost puppy like you always do, Hon.” He huffed, lowering the script on to his lap to highlight a few of his lines. His eyes didn’t meet mine once as he spoke, more focused on the movie then the insults and remarks he was slinging at me. “W-What the hell is wrong with you! Do you talk to everyone this way or just the people you see lower then yourself?”  “Trust me you aren’t as special as you think you are.” I felt a pin drop in my stomach as he spoke, a rage boiling deep inside of me that I had suppressed for far too long. I was never confrontational, always avoided verbal arguments if I could but having to deal with seeing him do this to everyone, to do it to me when I saw something in him. In a place surrounded by celebrities, by people who worked for him, in a place I felt like I didn’t belong. It felt like one straw too many for the camel’s back.  ”I can’t believe I ever saw something deeper to you then some shallow fuckboy with an ego the size of Mt. Everest!” I snapped, my voice echoing around the suddenly still sound stage. Even with the rest of the crews eyes now on us, Cage didn’t look up. Didn’t even flinch from what he was doing. His only response was a slow lowering of the marker in his hand as the eyes of hundreds of workers bore into my soul.  I couldn’t stand it. I dipped my head away, walking past the security guard that blocked the sound stage door to the outside. No one tried to stop me, to slow me down. Even before I reached the door I could hear them all return to what they were doing, like it was a normal occurrence there. I suppose it probably was when it came to people like him. Didn’t make it hurt any less though, to find out I was just another person on the long list of people he upset. I paced in circles outside the door, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. If I went back in there I knew I’d be stared down, both by Johnny and the movie crew, but if I stayed out here it could be just as bad. Besides wasn’t I suppose to be watching him? Suppose to have his back in case of any danger? Hell even if I hated his guts I wasn’t so petty to leave the guy in a dangerous situation where he could get killed. Or I could get killed. Not like I had a ride, I’d be walking the streets of Hollywood like an idiot. No map, no money. It was dog eat dog world out here even if there wasn’t dangerous mercenaries wanting to rip me to shreds. As I turned around for the umpteenth time, my eyes caught something at the other end of the building, something familiar slipping through the door frame before being blocked by the large metal door. I stopped in my tracks, face furrowing as I tried to piece together where I remembered that kinda clothing, that face. Big boots, something like knives strapped to his body, shaved head. I felt a chill run down my body as it finally clicked, the words of Sonya echoing in my head. ‘See this guy? I’ve been tracking this piece of human garbage for a while. He goes by the name Kano, and he’s the head of the Black Dragons, the same ones that brought that artifact to Earthrealm that changed you. If you ever see him, run. He plays dirty and even if you think you have a chance, you aren’t because he’s got a squadron of goons not far behind.’ “Johnny...” Without thinking I ripped the door open, sprinting into the sound stage only to be confronted with my worse fear. The crimson spray of blood from Cage’s mouth splattered across his body, droplets falling to the floor as Kano readied another punch.  “Johnny! No!” My voice was shrill, and harsh, as I ran towards the enemy, the one I was told to run away from. All to save some ass I told not 10 minutes ago that I saw no good in. As I closed in, I readied a punch, aiming for the cybernetic eye to hopefully bash in with a single decisive strike. I didn’t need to beat him, I didn’t need to win. All I needed was a small advantage for me to get Cage out of danger. My fist was stopped by Johnny’s hand, his face frantic as he stepped into my sight. “ACTING. ACTING, WE’RE ACTORS. LITERALLY ON A SOUND STAGE. DON’T DECK THE GUY TRYING TO GET A PAY CHECK!” “W-what? No that’s- your-” “Blood capsules. Fake blood.” He hissed, letting go of his tight grip on my hand to wipe the red dye from his face. “And that guy, isn’t Kano. He’s a guy I made the director add to movie BASED on Kano.” I felt my hand fall to my waist, turning to face the surprised actor I was mere seconds away from decking. My embarrassment flooded my body, stumbling back a few steps before the director began to scream from off set. “What the hell is going on?! This crazy broad walking on set, nearly hitting my stars, Johnny, baby, what the hell are you bringing to my set? Ya know I thought this bitch would be way more calm the the usual models you bring here but at least those don’t do this shit!”  The older man got up from his chair, megaphone in hand as he approached the actor. The rage emanating from him was palpable, making the air heavy and thick. I moved closer to Johnny, shamefully looking to the actor for guidance. I saw his eyes flicker down to me before giving a cocky look to the old man. “Excuse me? Are you... questioning the people I bring here? Me. Johnny FREAKING Cage? Award winning actor, multi box office record setting STAR... of who he brings on the set? Do you WANT a goddamn strike?” The director’s tone completely flipped at the boisterous words, slinking back into the shadows of the set. “Johnny, baby please-” he began. “Don’t you BABY me. You know my name!” “M..mr. Cage.” “That’s right. And you will address me as such as long as you wanna keep feeding that family of yours with this fat paycheck your getting from working with ME. So you keep your mouth shut about whoever the hell I bring here. I’ll bring a fucking live tiger if I damn well please and you just point your stupid little megaphone, give a big bright smile, and play along. GOT IT?” “Y...yes sir, Mr. Cage. Of course.” Johnny flashed a smile to the rest of the crew as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pushing me into his chest. “Now how about you all give my friend Jenna, a great big ‘Sorry’ and we can get back to working huh? Come on don’t be shy! ‘Sorry~ ‘come on, SAY IT!” He screamed, face turning red as the sound stage went hush. Slowly but surely a wave of monotone, ‘Sorry, Jenna’ erupted from the darkness of the sound set, culminating in the most unenthusiastic, forced apology from a group of grown ups I’d ever heard. It if wasn’t for the fact I could see them, I could of sworn that these were elementary school kids being yelled at by a principal for being too loud at lunch time. Johnny’s arm gave me a small reaffirming shake as he turned me toward him, a lip curled in smug pride. “There, ain’t that just the best medicine?” “What are you doing?” I whispered, hand going to touch his still oily chest. “It’s called acting. I figured if I’m the asshole, no one will shift the blame on you and the fact you just tried to bitch slap a B-list actor. After all if I’m a prick, might as well play the part.” He whispered back, giving a quick wink toward me as he patted my back. “Also, you called me Johnny. I gotta admit, that’s got a nice ring to it.” He placed another small pat to the small of my back and led me back toward his chair, giving the stink eye to a few people that glanced in our direction. “So. How bout we take it from square one huh? Come on, let’s get going people, hustle hustle, hustle! I ain’t getting any prettier! ” He began to clap his hands feverously causing the others to begin to run around for another take of the scene. As I reclined in the chair, watching the chaos beginning to start up, I couldn’t help but overhear people begin to bitch under their breath about how much of an ass Johnny was, completely forgetting about what just happened with me. At least Johnny was right about what would happen, making himself the target to absorb the hate. Who would care about some no name when everyone could tell their friends and family how shitty a guy Cage was for bringing the girl in the first place and acting like it was no big deal after all? He wasn’t an idiot, he used his arrogant nature to play people like a fiddle and people were none the wiser. All except for me, who saw the kindness break through the mask. Maybe I was too cruel, or maybe he was just doing it to prove he wasn’t a complete jackass to me. Either way, I was grateful. He didn’t need to do that, but he still did, much like most of things that happened with him.  I watched a makeup artist clean the blood off of Johnny’s chest, reapplying any patches of oil or foundation that had been ruined by the fake blood. Our eyes met from across the stage and with a cocky grin he flexed an arm, throwing a finger gun at me before barking an order at the makeup artist to further reassure his status of a dick. Jeopardizing his status in his inner circle all to make me feel better. What a guy.

Someday Pt. 8 (Jeon Wonwoo)

Hello! Onto part 8! Also bee starts posting my main bias line today for her christmas series and i am fear! Also my health stuff is acting up again but I get a day off on sunday! Ah! 

Masterlist

“Jun…” You said, tilting your head at the boy. “Do… Do you really need that?” He looked from you to the grill, a giant grin on his face. 

“Look at all the food I could make with it though!” He pointed at the box, causing you to sigh. 

“Junnie, you’re about to go on tour. You won’t even be able to use it until you get back?” You let out a laugh, missing Wonwoo smiling behind you. 

Wonwoo knew bringing Jun on his outing would be good. It was originally going to be you, him and Soonyoung, but then Jun looked bored so he tagged along. Plus Jun is scientifically proven to be able to cheer you up. Jihoon even came but that’s mostly because he needed snacks for his studio and last time the staff got the wrong kind. 

It had been a few weeks since you found out about Hyunseok, and Wonwoo was still very worried about you. He noticed that you were starting to get better, getting a little less sad every day. He tried so hard to keep someone with you during this time, either himself or one of the members. If Soonyoung was free, he usually volunteered. At one point one of the make up girls took you to lunch, one that you kind of knew. That way you wouldn’t be fully alone with your thoughts. 

His crush still gripped his heart, but he forced it down for right now. You were still heartbroken and he couldn’t make any kind of confession to you now. 

But hey, at least you were laughing again. 

“It’ll be something to look forward to.” Jun pouted, crossing his arms. You let out another chuckle, shaking your head. 

“...Could I use it while you’re gone?” Jun nodded, a smirk now on his face. “Fine, buy the grill.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. You turned around and saw Wonwoo looking at you, shaking his head at you. 

“You’re a bad influence on him.” Wonwoo joked, a grin on his face. 

“Shush.” Jun said, now hugging the giant box. 

“Whatever, I’m getting to use a grill because of this.” You said, shaking your head at Jun. Soonyoung walked up, Jihoon behind him, both sighing at the box in Jun’s hands. 

“Another one?” Jihoon sighed, Jun and yourself nodding. 

“It’s ours. Joint custody.” Jun said, nodding his head towards you. You just nodded your own head, smiling at Jihoon. Soonyoung just looked at Wonwoo, smirking to himself at the grin of Wonwoo’s face while he looked at you. 

“It’s true. We’ll both take care of it, we swear!” You said, pouting at Jihoon, who just rolled his eyes. 

“Y/N?” You all turned around, you, Jihoon, Soonyoung and Wonwoo freezing. Jun just looked at the person behind you, then back to everyone else, confused. 

“He- Hey…” You said, staring wide-eyed at Hyunseok. You hadn’t seen him since shortly after that day at the ramen place. He had tried to come talk to you, but you refused to hear any of it. You had basically told him to get out of your life. It helped that Wonwoo had shown up shortly after Hyunseok, and Wonwoo could be intimidating. It had been a couple weeks since then and you hadn’t seen or spoken to him since. He tried to reach out a few times, but you ignored each attempt. 

“How uh… How are you?” He asked, clearing his throat. 

“I’m okay.” You said, feeling extremely awkward. Jun was still looking around, clearly confused. 

“Listen uhm… Can I talk to you?” His eyes went to the four boys behind you. “...Alone?” 

“How could you possibly-” Soonyoung started, stopping when you looked at him. 

“It’s fine, Hosh.” You said, eyes going to Wonwoo. He had a hard look to his face, which immediately softened once he looked towards you. You sighed, looking back at Hyunseok. “Yeah, okay.” He nodded, starting to walk a bit away from the group. You took a deep breath, following him. The last thing you heard from the group was Jun going “Okay, who the hell was that?” 

“So…” Hyunseok started, looking down at his feet. 

“What do you want?” You asked, turning back to the boys. Jihoon and Soonyoung were talking to Jun while Wonwoo looked in your direction. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” He looked at you, confused. “Why are you sorry? I’m not going to go out with you again-”

“That’s not why.” Hyunseok quickly said, looking at you. “I just… I felt bad.” 

“You should.” 

“I’m sorry I hurt you, okay? I never meant to.” 

“Then why did you get a second girlfriend?” He cleared his throat, letting out a sigh after. 

“Technically… You were the second girlfriend.” He said, looking at the floor again. “After what happened, she dumped me too, just so you know. She yelled, though, which I probably deserved.” 

“So now what?” You said, looking at him. 

“I just wanted you to know that, I guess.” He said, looking back at the boys waiting down the aisle. “Also… I have a question.” 

“What.” You sighed, looking back down at your feet. 

“Are you dating Wonwoo now?” You looked back up at him, confused. 

“Why?” 

“Are you?” You raised an eyebrow, shaking your head. To your surprise, he let out a sigh and shook his head. “Why not?” 

“What?” 

“Look, it’s obvious that he’s in love with you, and you definitely feel something for him.” Hyunseok said, giving you a small smile. “You should at least give it a shot.” 

“Why are you saying this…?” You looked at him, really confused. 

“Believe it or not, I did like you. You should be happy.” He nodded his head toward the boys. “I feel like he could help that.” He held out a hand, sighing one more time. “I’m sorry this didn’t end in a good way. I guess this is goodbye.” 

You blinked at him, slowly reaching out and shaking the hand. With that, he smiled at you one last time, waved a hand at the boys, and turned and walked away. You stood there for a bit, thinking about what he said. 

You didn’t realize how long you had actually been standing there until you felt a hand on your back, causing you to jump. You were relieved when you saw Wonwoo standing next to you, looking at you concerned. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, you quickly nodding your head. “What did he want?” 

“Just…” You looked back up at Wonwoo, internally making another decision. “He… He just apologized.” You said, giving Wonwoo a small smile. Wonwoo nodded his head, starting to pull you back to the other boys. 

“That’s all?” Wonwoo asked as you walked back, you nodding your head. 

“That’s it, I swear.” You said, letting out a sigh. Even though Hyunseok seems to see it, there’s no way that Wonwoo feels that way about you. He probably was just setting you up for more heartbreak. Once you got back to the boys, they all decided to go and check out their purchases. 

“Are you alight?” Jihoon looked at you, startling you a little bit. You were used to seeing him and being around him, but he rarely talked to you personally. He was also usually very busy when you were around, so you didn’t get much of a chance anyway. You still liked him and knew he liked you, you two just never got too close. Soonyoung looked at you too, concern on his face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said, Wonwoo’s hand going to squeeze your shoulder. “I just… Don’t want to think about this now.” The boys nodded, walking up to the cashier to pay for their stuff. 

“So.” Jun said, walking next to you, causing you to look at him. “That’s the guy you said was more attractive than me?” You looked at him, eyebrows shooting up. 

“Wonwoo!” You looked at Wonwoo, offended. Wonwoo wasn’t supposed to tell Jun that. He looked at you wide eyed, turning to Jun. 

“Jun!” 

“No, I’m sorry, I’ve been offended. Answer the question.” 

“...Maybe.” You muttered, Jun immediately shaking his head and sighing. 

“That’s it. We have to work on your taste in men, young lady.” You let out another laugh, nudging Jun on the arm. “There’s a short list of people who you are allowed to think are more attractive than me.” 

“Oh?” You laughed, Wonwoo peeking over at you two, listening. “Do I get to know this list?” 

“Nope.” Jun shook his head, setting his box on the counter. 

“...Then how will I know?” 

“You’ll tell me if you find someone attractive, and I will tell you if you’re right or not.” Jun said, smiling at the cashier. 

“That sounds unfair.” You sighed, looking at Wonwoo. He wasn’t looking at you, but you felt a small smile come to your face. 

“Like that,” Jun said, smirking at you. “I will allow.” You looked at Jun, wide eyed. You looked back at Wonwoo, seeing him look back up at you. You quickly cleared your throat, felt your cheeks go warm, then went to follow Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

“What did you do?” Wonwoo asked, approaching Jun. 

“Just laid the groundwork.” He looked at Wonwoo, winking. He took his box, thanked the cashier, and left Wonwoo confused. 

True life is lived when change occurs

*Part two. Make sure to check out the other parts and enjoy. Just search the tag Change Series* 

There was a light knock on the door. Steve and Natasha sat in the doctor’s office waiting to see if everything was okay. Steve shook with nerves. Usually this stuff didn’t bother him. He was in and out of hospitals when he was a young child until he was about thirteen did his health finally turn in a new direction. This was different. There was some else’s life at stake not just his own. Steve’s knee bounced up and down. One of his nervous ticks. Natasha placed a hand on his knee to calm his nerves. “Steve, everything is going to be okay. This isn’t like your first appointment.” Steve looked over at her with worried eyes but tried to at least give her a small smile. “I know. It’s just after this month it will make it real. I will go into the second trimester and will know the gender of the baby. Like this baby will actually be here.” Natasha chuckled. “And it wasn’t real when you were throwing your guts up.” Steve just looked over at her. She wasn’t wrong. He was about to say something when the door opens up to his doctor.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Rogers, how are you feeling today?” “Oh, you know just like I am only four months pregnant.” That made the doctor smile. “How’s the morning sickness? Any weird cravings.” She motioned for him to lay down on the bed so she could examine the baby.  “Actually, it has stopped. Still feeling slightly tired but feeling like myself again. Is it weird that I am craving for turkey sandwiches like all the time?” The doctor smiled and lifted his shirt up. Steve had a slight bump starting to show. The first time this happened it freaked him out in a good way. He had called Natasha right away to share the news.

“Look, do you see it.” Steve panned his phone onto his belly, but Natasha wasn’t buying it. “What am I looking at exactly?” “You don’t see it. The curve right there. I’m showing.” He just smiled and held his stomach. This was real and this just proved to him that there was an actual baby growing in him. “Steve, you are adorable, but I can’t see anything.”

The doctor squeezed the cold gel on to his stomach sending shivers through his body. The doctor moved the wand gently looking to see where the baby was today. Steve was nervous when he didn’t hear a heartbeat right away. It was possible this early on to miscarriage and not know it right away. Then relief washed over him when he heard the patters of the heart and his baby came alive on the screen.  “So, if you look right here you can see their nose and here’s a hand.” Both Natasha and Steve look at each other with tears in their eyes. It never got old for Steve. He was surprised every time they came in at how much the baby grew. The doctor commented that it was about the size of a fig. “Would you like to know what the gender is?” Steve looked over at Natasha for her advice. “Hey, this is your kid. Don’t look at me.” Steve looked back at the doctor and shook his head yes. “You see right here.” She pointed to the bottom right of the screen. “Steve you are having a girl.” Tears ran down his face. He was having a little girl. As the overwhelming feeling of excitement washed over him all he could think about was Tony. How excited he would be and most likely would spoil this little girl. “Would you like any prints?” Steve couldn’t focus. He couldn’t answer so Natasha spoke up for him.  “Yeah, can we have four prints please.”

Steve sat in the car just staring at the photo of his daughter. His daughter. “Hey, you okay. It looked like you went through a wave of emotions back there.” Natasha was driving them to a baby store. Steve wanted to buy something. Something that was pretty and frilly. Something that was cliche for a baby girl and Steve didn’t care. You got to have a little girl once in a lifetime. Once in a lifetime. “Yeah, I was just thinking about what he would think. He would definitely be over the moon excited. Buying stuff, we didn’t need because he would want to spoil her. You know he would have been such of a good dad.” Natasha put the car in park and looked over at him. She had the mother look and Steve knew he was getting a lecture from her.

“Steve, Tony was a good man about four months ago. Don’t get me wrong y’all were a good couple. Actually, saw a happy ending for you too.” If this was supposed to make Steve feel better. It really wasn’t working. He looked out of the window trying not to think about Tony. Tony was probably at some business meeting right now or at a lunch with a blond dame or a brunet male. Steve wished he were here with him, whispering beautiful things to their daughter. Celebrating what their love had created. Natasha snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention once again.

“Steve look at me. I wasn’t finished. Tony might have been the love of your life four months ago but now he is a real son of a bitch. Tony left you with no explanation except for a stupid letter. I’m not saying to forget him because you never will be able too.” She points down at his stomach indicating that this kid could look actually like the man he once loved. “But Steve you need to focus on you and this kid. You need to focus your happiness. Are you happy Steve?” Once again tears welled up into his eyes. Some days were harder the others. He often finds little things in the apartment that reminded of Tony. Then he would find happiness when he would look in the mirror at his protruding belly or when he was reading parenting books. “Thank you, Natasha. I am very happy. I am excited for this new chapter in my life to begin. I’m glad you are here to be with me for this moment in my life.”

Steve ran his hand over the beautiful dresses. There were so many options so many styles. He didn’t just want to pick out any kind of outfit. He wanted the outfit to match his little girl. “What about this one. It’s purple. It screams summer which is when she is due right.” Steve shook his head. That didn’t feel right to him. Until he saw a gold tutu and red top set. This was perfect. Even through Steve hadn’t met her yet he just knew she was going to love the color red. “Are you sure because I really love this blue one?” Steve looked down at his small bumped and smiled. “Yeah I’m sure. I just have a gut feeling.” He placed the outfit on to the counter to check out when he spotted a small teddy bear. It was very small with just a single blue ribbon around it. He picked up and ran a finger down it thinking this would be perfect for her first stuff animal but decided against it.  Maybe next time he would come back and get it.

Natasha laid the blue dress she liked and some small ballet shoes on the counter. She tried to put more up there but Steve insisted that they would come back. No use in buying a lot when he was only eighteen weeks pregnant. They had time to do all of the shopping they wanted. “Is this your first?” The cashier commented. “Yes ma’am.” The cashier clapped her hands in excitement. “Awe that’s wonderful and it looks like you are having a girl. Do you have a name picked out yet?” Steve thought about it. He had one in mind, but he swears he was going to keep this one close to his chest. 

Pepper was on the phone with another stockbroker. Her third one today. She was stopped in her tracks when she saw a flash of red in the corner of her eye. She stopped in the window of the boutique. Well not actually a boutique but a baby store. She saw one of her old friends, Natasha, and Tony’s ex. boyfriend Steve checking out. Steve was showing Natasha a small bear with a little boy ribbon around his neck. Pepper felt like she was intruding on a moment between the two friends. But she was curious. Maybe Natasha was pregnant. She always knew Bucky would have been a wonderful dad. As Pepper stood lost in her own daydream, she heard a ding of the door opening. Shit she thought. Pepper hid around the corner as the two crossed the street. Pepper went into the store and bought the bear. This would be a wonderful gift for her old friend.

Steve sat in his unfinished nursery putting away the few things he got at the store. The room was so empty he thought. He still needed a crib. He still needed so much. Steve became very overwhelmed with how much he still needed to do. He placed his head in his hands breathing in to ease his anxiety. He stood up wanting to get some fresh air. This was going to be good for the both of them. When he opened the door to find the small little bear he saw at the store, he was taken aback. Steve looked up and down the hall to see who had must have delivered this precious gift. A tinge in him hoped it might have been Tony, but he had to block that thought out of his mind. All he knew was his daughter had a guardian angel to look after her. Steve looked around the apartment and felt like this wasn’t his home. He squeezed the bear tightly to his bump. “Hey sweetie are you ready for a change.” Steve looked around and knew what he needed to do next for both of their sake.

Tony sat in his office looking out at the New York skyline. He just came to back to pack up a few items and then he was going to run back to Malibu. He couldn’t bare being in this city any longer. Tony didn’t want to risk running into Steve. He couldn’t risk seeing the heartbroken look that would be in his eyes. Tony heard the door open and looked over to see Pepper walking in holding a small envelope that was address to him. Pepper placed it on his desk. “Tony, did you Natasha was pregnant?” Tony looked at her curiously. “Not possible. Her and Bucky didn’t want kids or at least not right now.” As he was speaking, he opened the envelope to a photo of a sonogram and three simple words written on the bottom, it’s a girl. He looked up at Pepper and showed her the photograph. “Well isn’t this odd. You just mention pregnancy and I get sent a sonogram.” Pepper took it out of Tony’s hands to examine the photograph.

“This is Natasha’s handwriting, so I was right she is because I saw her and Steve at that cute baby story on 32nd and north. I even bought this adorable bear for her. I dropped it off at your old apartment since who knows where Nat resides now.” As Pepper kept speaking, Tony zoned out. Steve was there with her. What if it wasn’t Natasha but Steve? He pushed that thought out of his head. If it was, Steve would have said something. “Yeah, Pepper that’s wonderful. I must go now. You know I’m very busy.” He ran out the door with Pepper staring at him in a perplexed manner. Tony found himself in the bathroom having a small panic attack. He just couldn’t push past the thought that it was Steve. It must have been a coincidence. He was happy for Natasha. Tony thought to himself he had to send her some kind of congratulation gift.

NEVER THOUGHT IT’D BE HER

Summary:  Max lives an... entertaining life.  She just got out of a relationship she thought would last forever.  Meeting one person leads to more people in her life, and before she knows it, she’s falling in love with someone she never expected to fall in love with.

Words:  1,567

Warnings: angst, drunkenness, some more angst, flashbacks, implied smut

Author’s Note:  lots to take in for this chapter... reminder that i link the previous chapters directly below the author’s notes, so if you’re behind you can just click the link thru here :D

CHAPTER 1, CHAPTER 2

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CHAPTER 3

FUCK.  Why?  This little meet-up at the café was going great until this whole memory just popped up back inside Max’s head.

               Flashbacks are never good, especially when they involve alcohol, and, oh, was heartbreak mentioned yet?

               She stumbled into the bar, already two bottles of beer downed.  Her thought process may not have been the best that night after what happened.  Already drunk?  Let’s go drink some more!  Yeah!  That’s a great idea!  Nothing bad can come from this!  It’s already been a shitty night! 

               Walking up to the bar, almost every pair of eyes were stuck on her.  She clearly wasn’t well.  Should someone go help her?  It’s already late, who cares?  If she got here alive she can probably get out alive.

               Once she finally got to the bar (it felt like it was a marathon from the door of the bar to where all the alcohol was [also known as a five second walk]), she ordered one beer and told the bartender to keep the tab open. It was going to be a long night of self-deprecating thoughts and being heartbroken.

               There it is again.  That word.  Heartbroken.  It sucks, having to experience it.  Heartbreak.  You wish your whole life you never will, but when you ultimately do, you don’t know what to do.  Heartbreak.  It’s not like there’s a right way to handle it.  Some heartbreaks are worse than others.  Especially when you thought the person who broke your heart was going to be The One.  You know, The One who would stay with you until you inevitably end up six feet down?  The One you dreamt of rocking on a chair together on a porch on a farm in the middle of nowhere?  The One who..

               Snapped out of her thoughts, which was probably for the best, she spills a little of her drink on her shirt as she’s nudged by a beautiful woman who accidentally bumped into her trying to sit down at the bar top.  “Oops!  Sorry I bumped into you!” the woman says.

               Max can’t help but stare.  That woman wasn’t even probably as beautiful as she thought she was in that moment.  Max is just super drunk and… and alcohol makes you think pretty people look even prettier, right?  Right.  Let’s go with that.

               “I-I-It’s okay,” she stutters out.  The woman just smiles back at her, then orders her drink from the bartender, essentially turning her back on Max.  That is, until Max offers to buy her a drink.  A truce, she says, because someone accidentally nudging you means you have to buy them a drink.  Sure, Max.  The woman politely declines, but Max insists, and slides the bartender a crisp twenty dollar bill that she didn’t even know she had.  The woman thanks her.  They both smile at each other, Max’s smile a little more crooked than the one in front of her.

               The woman introduces herself to Max.  “I’m Casey.  Nice to meet you.”  A moment passes.  “And thank you again for the drink.  You really didn’t have to.  If anything, I should be the one to buy you a drink,” and she laughs, awkwardly.  Max thinks it’s the most beautiful sound that she’s ever heard come out of anyone’s mouth.  And Max has heard a lot of sounds come from a lot of mouths.  Inappropriate sounds, but still.

               The two get to talking, and after approximately thirteen minutes (Max counts the minutes she’s allowed to talk to the goddess sitting right in front of her), Casey asks Max a question.  “What’s the deal?”  Max just looks at her, drunk and confused.  Casey laughs at her expression.  “Why are you here?  Alone?  Sitting at a bar with a look on your face that makes it look like you’re sad?”  She pauses.  “Are you sad?  Do I need to buy you a drink, Max?” she teases.

               Max takes a deep breath, but not before she says yes to another drink.  “Make sure you’re comfy in your seat.  Tonight… it’s a long story.”  For the very short time she’s known her, Max sees Casey put a serious face on.  Casey listens to every word her newly acquired drunken friend says within the next hour.

               Eight hours later, Max lays naked in her bed, arms wrapped around Casey’s also naked body.

               “How we met?  Oh, wow.  I think we just bumped into each other and one thing led to another.  And now here we are,” Max tells Alex.

               “Really?  That’s it?  That’s the whole story with you two?”  Max just nods.  “Bullshit.  I don’t believe that it was just happenstance.” Alex continues to push, but Max doesn’t budge, so, eventually, she lays off.

               It’s been more than two hours that they’ve first sat down at the café.  Alex checks her phone and realizes as much.  Max just laughs, saying that time flies when you’re having fun.  Alex glares at her playfully.  Max gets up to pay for everything they wound up eating and drinking for the time that they were there.  Alex tugs on her arm, pleading with Max to let her pay.

               “No way.  Today was my idea in the first place.  I basically dragged you out here, so the least I could do is pay for everything.”  Alex just pouts at her, still holding onto Max’s arm.  “I’m paying, Alex.  No exceptions.”  Max’s other arm, that isn’t being held onto for dear life, goes to grab Alex’s hand.  She looks at Alex with an eyebrow raised, and finally, Alex lets up.  “Make sure you have everything you brought before we leave,” she says, before she starts to walk away.

               Alex mocks salute.  “Yes, ma’am.”  Max looks back at her, seemingly warning her to behave.  Alex just giggles and grabs her phone and bag, then follows Max to the cashier.

               The two walk out of the restaurant after Max finished paying, but Alex feels bad that she has to ask a certain question.  “Hey, Max?”  Max looks down towards her, being the taller one of the two.  “This is gonna sound weird, but would you mind driving me back to my place?  I had to drop my car off for the yearly check-up this morning, and so I just took a cab here.  But if you can’t, don’t worry about it because I can just get a cab and go ho-.”  Max holds her hand up to stop Alex.

               “I will drive you home.  It’s absolutely fine, Alex.  I don’t have anything to do today either way, so take up as much of my time as you want.”  This time, it’s Max’s turn to wink.  Alex breathes a sigh of relief that she didn’t know she was holding. 

               They walk towards her car, and Max goes to open the passenger door for Alex.  Alex blushes lightly but gets into the car quickly enough that Max isn’t able to see.  As far as she knows.  Max speed walks to the opposite side of the car and gets in.  She goes to pull out of the parking spot but realizes she doesn’t know where she’s going to be driving.  She looks at Alex, dumbfounded.  Alex snickers, and tells her to make a right when she gets out of the parking lot.

               Once they get onto the main road, Max, after some arguing, allows Alex to play her music while she drives.  She watches out of the corner of her eye as her passenger sings as loud as she can without a care in the world.  Soon enough, a duet comes on that they both know, and they sing like there is no tomorrow.

               A half hour passes, and they arrive at Alex’s apartment.  She convinces her driver to come upstairs for one last drink and then, and only then, will she “release” her for the day.  Max follows Alex up a few floors to her place and, after some digging for keys, they both enter.  Alex gets Max a drink, then goes to look for her seemingly missing husband.

               As her friend is walking aimlessly around her own apartment, Max sees a phone light up on the countertop.  Well it’s not my phone.  Is it?  It wasn’t.  I just saw Alex check hers when she went into the bathroom, so it’s not hers.  After contemplating whether she should do it or not, Max walks over to the phone and sees a text message from… a no name?  It’s just a heart emoji. 

               Once Alex emerges from the bathroom, Devin strolls out of the bedroom, walking in the direction of Max holding the unclaimed phone.  “You found it!  I searched the whole fucking house for it!” when he realizes it’s his phone.  Max gives it to him, then Devin goes towards his wife and says his hellos.  Alex introduces Max to Devin and vice versa.

               As Devin updates his wife about whatever it is he’s talking about, Max gets to thinking about that text message.  She couldn’t see what it said since the phone wasn’t unlocked, but she knows Alex didn’t text him.  Sure, she was on her phone, but it was only to see if he had texted her.  Not the other way around.  She wouldn’t have texted her husband when they’re in the same building.  She would’ve just screamed for him like any couple would do to each other.  

               So, if it wasn’t Alex, who just texted Devin?

NEXT

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tags: @maggie-elise13, @elizabethfictionwriting, @lesbian-deadpool, @solaettristis, @the-very-tired-gay,  @timelords-13, @tangled-up-in-bad-decisions, @natashaswhitesuit, @its-a-me-mario-hihi, @marvelfansince08love

Isa’s New Friend [Christmas Gift Exchange for Jelly]

A fic I wrote for this year’s Icejin gift exchange for @the-blueberry-jellyfish

“Oh, how I hate the holidays.” Lady Hiemal growled in annoyance to no one in particular as she shifted from foot to foot, tail lashing to and fro as she gazed upon her reflection shining from the shop’s window. A sharp scowl and narrowed red eyes stared back at her.

Only a few more minutes were left before the boutique would open, but to Hiemal, it felt like an eternity. She absolutely detested being around other people, being exposed to noise, and leaving the safe confines of her home. Suffering from intense paranoia and suspicion of other Arcosians was what kept the poor woman locked up in the confines of her bedroom for weeks upon weeks.

The second the double doors were unlocked, a wave of female Arcosians immediately rushed to the entrance, shrieking and frantically pushing one another. This shop sold some of the finest gowns and jewelry located on the planet, so it was no surprise that a majority of the ladies were determined not to leave empty handed and were even willing to resort to physical violence, if necessary. So many of them had been camping outside the boutique since early morning, all to get a headstart before the racks were completely empty.

“Uncivilized swine. Absolutely disgusting. Probably come from a pack of lower class vermin, I’d imagine. Hehe.” Though she found their behavior reprehensible, Hiemal managed a slight chuckle and the smallest hint of a smile threatened to register on her face.

Hiemal was careful to squeeze around the crowd that was already quickly forming and blocking the main entrance, somehow managing to get inside the boutique unscaved. Immediately, she grabbed a shopping basket and began to look over at the section in the middle of the building.

“Oh my!” Hiemal squealed in delight as she snatched multiple dresses, blouses, and gowns off the racks in rapid succession, stuffing them inside her basket quickly. She turned around rather fast and ended up colliding with another lady, unintentionally sending her to the ground.

“I’m sorry! Are you alright?” Immediately, Hiemal reached out to help her up. “I’m in a bit of a hurry, I suppose. Eager to finish my shopping and get back home.”

Isa graciously accepted Hiemal’s offer of help, taking her hand and standing to her feet. “Oh, it’s quite alright. No need for apologies. I’m Isa.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Isa. I’m Hiemal.    Normally, I don’t much like to go shopping. But seems that it’s necessary when the holidays roll around.” While she talked to Isa, Hiemal continued to grab clothes from nearby racks, this time picking up a few items that were marked down by 20%.  

“Oh, that’s a shame. I love shopping. Always so many new things to buy and try on! The holidays are a grand time to pick up on some amazing deals too!” Isa’s cart held fewer gowns than Hiemal’s did, but the top portion was crammed with perfume bottles, necklaces, and designer scarves.

Normally, Hiemal would be annoyed and put-off by Isa’s bubbly and energetic personality, but she surprisingly found it a bit endearing. “Well, you’re right about that. The discounts are definitely something worth bragging about. Almost tempting me to do this again next year. Almost.”

“You know something else? Holidays are divine for spending time with family. Are you doing anything special for today? Perhaps cooking a family dinner or something of the sort?” Isa’s eyes fell upon a sparkling set of earrings and she placed them inside her cart. Deciding she had more than enough, she wheeled her cart to one of the front registers to be ringed up.

“Actually, yes. I cooked everything last night so it would be ready to eat this morning. I know you and I barely know one another, but I am sort of spending today alone. It would mean a lot to me if you spent dinner with me, even if only for a few hours.” Hiemal had turned down any invitations to family events because she wanted to be by herself, but she was starting to regret it now. She hoped Isa would accept, spending the holidays alone was beginning to take its toll on Hiemal.

“I’d be honored! Absolutely thrilled!” Isa practically shrieked with excitement as she paid for her items, thanking the cashier with a gracious smile. “You didn’t even have to ask. No one should be spending today alone, regardless of the circumstances.”

Hiemal paid for her items and proceeded to leave the boutique side by side with Isa, the two continuing to talk about various topics as they walked to Hiemal’s home which wasn’t very far away from the shops.

By the time they’d finally arrived at their destination, it was evident that a friendship was beginning to develop between the two ladies. Hiemal didn’t think it was possible to befriend someone so fast after meeting them, so she was a little shocked. Isa, on the other hand, lived for making friends and prided herself on being easy to get along with so this didn’t come as a surprise to her in the slightest.

The second they entered Hiemal’s home, Isa immediately complimented the other woman on her expensive taste in decor and marveled in awe at the gorgeous paintings hanging from the walls. Though Hiemal never once mentioned her riches, Isa could tell she must have been from a wealthy, noble family and probably was the type to be humble about it.  

As Hiemal walked upstairs to place her new clothes inside her bedroom closet, Isa continued to observe the ornate furniture and she was especially drawn to a rather gorgeous piano that sat in the corner of the den. Sheets of music and paper scrawled in messy handwriting sat in a pile. Not wanting to pry, Isa chose to ignore it and came to the conclusion that Hiemal must enjoy music and fine arts. Not uncommon for Arcosians with royal or noble blood coursing through their veins.

“You have a beautiful home, Hiemal. Very spacious, I might add.” When Hiemal reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, Isa quickly turned to give the woman her undivided attention, not wanting to ignore her. “At the risk of sounding downright nosy, I noticed a lot of pictures on the walls. Some of other Arcosians. Are they related to you or close friends of some sort?”

“Family members.” Hiemal sat down on the loveseat and took a sip from her coffee mug. “I requested that they ignore my presence for today because I would only bring them down. It’s easier on others if I’m miserable by myself. I invited you here because you seem immune to negative energy and to be quite frank, you are very pleasant to be around.”

Isa’s face fell when she heard that Hiemal genuinely believed she was a burden to her family. She didn’t know what illness the other woman was suffering from, but either way, it broke her heart. She went to sit next to her, placing a comforting hand on Hiemal’s shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.

“Your loved ones adore you, rest assured. If something happened to you, they would be heartbroken. I know your brain must be mean to you at times, but you have to know that in the eyes of your family, you matter so much to them.”

Hiemal sniffled and reached up to wipe away the fresh tears quickly spilling from her eyes. “It’s difficult to believe that. I feel like they’re so much better off. It’s like I do nothing but drag everyone down and they deserve better than that.”

Isa lightly shushed Hiemal and massaged her shoulders gingerly, allowing her to cry and pour out her emotions as she saw fit. She whispered words of encouragement to Hiemal and did her best to cheer her up. It wasn’t easy, but at some point, Hiemal did start to perk up slightly

The two spent the rest of the evening watching festive movies, playing board games, sharing cups of coffee, speaking of their family, and eating side by side inside Hiemal’s enormous dining room.

The meals that she prepared were nothing short of splendid, in Isa’s fine opinion. She complimented Hiemal on her cooking and baking skills multiple times in between bites of food, making the other female blush heavily. She wasn’t used to being complimented on anything, so Isa’s words were greatly appreciated.  

Though Isa certainly didn’t expect to be invited over to a stranger’s home for the holidays, she was grateful that she and Hiemal happened to cross paths. She made a new friend in the process and seemed to make Hiemal’s mood fifty times better than it would have been.

Towards the end of the night, Hiemal retired to her bedroom, but not before embracing Isa in a tight hug and inviting her to stay the next morning for breakfast. Isa wasn’t in a hurry to leave either way, but the realization that Hiemal had already formed this close bond with her was truly heartwarming.