#i ended up feeling pretty tired last night
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Wasted Times
CASSIAN X F.READER
Warnings: SMUT, little plot. A bit of angst. Minors do not interact.
A/N: a little something, not proof read. I'll be editing tomorrow. Comments are welcomed 👏🏻
You used to think he found you pretty, always sticking next to you or seeking your company, you're fairly sure he even flirted with you sometimes. In his own not-ever-gonna-out- right-tell-you-what-I- mean–way, but you could tell there was something there. That's until the middle Archeron sister came into picture, with her beautiful doe brown eyes and soft silky-looking skin, her pink lips and long curls. Elain was a vision. Azriel was completely mesmerized with her, and it stung like hell to sit and watch as he leaned into her ear to whisper the mother knows what, his fingers delicatedly brushing her bare shoulder.
You sighed and drowned the dark liquor of your glass in one gulp. You were so tired of this shit, wouldn't have made it through half the dinner without Mor and Cass there.
"Everything alright sweetheart?" Cass asked loud enough just for you to hear.
"Yeah, I'm just bored." You smiled dismissively, hopefully convincing enough to ease the worried look he was giving you.
"We should go to Rita's" Mor chipped in, just in time to save you from interrogation.
"Yes! The three of us hadn't been out alone in ages." You agreed quickly, really needing any excuse to get the fuck out of the house.
Cass chuckled. "Yeah, last time I don't really remember how we ended up at Helion's door. Rhys had to go get us."
You laughed, a real sound this time and Cassian's eyes sparkled in amusement. He was always there for you, through thick and thin, ever since you met him. It was instant, the connection between the two of you, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Your best friend, your personal ray of sunshine. You had a feeling he suspected of your...affections towards his brother but you always managed to play it out small, just a friendly teasing. He wasn't a fool though, but kept quiet about it.
"What do you say Cass, are you up to some fun?" You asked, a smirk tugging at your lips.
"I'm always ready for a night with you sweetheart." He winked and leaned back in his chair.
You weren't entirely sure if it was the wine you had been indulging in all night, or the fact that it's been a while since someone flirted with you but your cheeks turned a light dusty pink at his words. Body feeling a little tingly. It wasn't uncommon for Cassian to flirt with you, he was built like that. He pretty much flirted with everyone. But something felt different tonight, maybe the fact that you were feeling a little unsure about yourself as of late, given that a certain shadowsinger had started to pay attention to more... beautiful, delicate things. So you didn't question how the General's words had affected you. You let yourself enjoy it, make you feel good. Cassian always made you feel good.
You rolled your eyes at him and gave him a playful smile, taking a sip of your glass.
Mor almost squealed in excitement. With Rhys and Feyre navigating their new parenthood, Amren and Varian barely leaving her apartment, and Azriel annoyingly pinning after Elain, there wasn't really much fun going on for your blonde friend. You had been over working a lot to be honest, anything to keep away from the house and the irritation that came lately when crossing paths with the shadowsinger, but you were tired and you missed your friends. So you finally decided to come home and a night out with your two best friends sounded esplendid.
"Alright then, let's go" you stood up, pulling Cassian with you, Mor on your heels. You waved your friends goodnight from over your shoulder. Not lingering to see hazel eyes trailing after you.
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"Is it me or is tonight more packed than usual?" You shouted over to Mor, making your way through the crowd of sweating bodies to the bar across from the dance floor.
Mor chuckled, pulling out a seat for you and signaling for the barman to come over. "It's Friday, of course it’s packed. How long is it since you last went out?"
"Two months, I guess? Since I took the job on the border" you shrugged.
"So, almost three months," Cassian added. Mor sent him a smirk.
"But who's counting, right?" She joked, Cass just rolled his eyes at her and ordered our drinks.
"Aww, did you miss me Cassie?" You prodded playfully at his shoulder. A smirk stretching across your red tinted lips.
"Of course I did, smartass, I didn't know the House could be so silent without your incessant morning rants!" He smiled. You smacked him in the arm. "Ouch! That hurt"
"I didn't even hit you that hard, you're just being a big Illyrian baby." You rolled your eyes, taking a sip ro your drink.
"You love me anyways," he threw an arm around your shoulder. "but for real sweetheart, don't take any more long ass missions for a while."
A warm, real smile made its way to your lips. "Don't worry Cass, I don't intend to."
"Good. Cause Azriel's been a real pain in the ass, I can't stand him anymore on my own." He chuckled.
Your smile weavered a little at the mention of the shadowsinger. "Ugh, don't even start. But let's not talk about him, yeah? I wanna dance."
Cassian opened his mouth but before he could answer, you were already tugging Mor towards the dance floor.
The night passed by between drinks and laughter and dancing, you were currently sandwiched between Mor and Cassian, swaying your hips to the dark tune of the rhythm, arms thrown around the shoulders of your blonde friend, back pressed against Cassian’s hard chest. It was hot and fun and you’ve never felt so free and careless, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the heat of the hands resting heavily on your hips was starting to mess up with your head. Either way, you felt bold and beautiful, a taunting smirk adorning your lips as you caught the eye of some male across the room. He gave you and Mor a run over, biting his lip as he made his way towards you. He was handsome, not quite as breathtaking as the males in your family, but he had some pretty attractive features. Sharp jaw and glinting dark eyes, and he looked confident enough that he had found his entertainment for the evening. You smiled playfully at Mor, angling your head to the male as if not to be so obvious, she looked over her shoulder, blonde curls like melted honey dripping over her back and flashed him a devilish smile. That’s when you knew you were out of the game. Mor was beautiful, ethereal. There was no comparing your darkness to her striking beauty, even the shadowsinger had favored her over you, some time ago.
Why had your thoughts taken such a pitiful turn? You were having a good time right? you wouldn’t let your insecurities take root in your head once more, you were here to avoid them after all. Still, you faltered in your steps as the male gently tapped Mor’s bare shoulder. You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, unconsciously leaning in on Cassian. Mor, completely oblivious to the downturn in your mood, gave you a playful wink and headed off with the male.
“Nevermind him,” rang Cassian’s deep voice in your ear, “he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He gave a little squeeze to your hip, breath fanning over your neck and causing goosebumps to erupt in your skin.
“Doesn’t he now? He’s got his hands on the big prize tonight” you murmured.
Cassian’s grip on your hip tightened, pulling you even closer to him, right hand splayed dangerously low on your abdomen. “He’s so beneath you, sweetheart.”
You let out a sigh, finding comfort in the heat radiating off of his body. Cassian’s strong arms enveloping you almost possessively, hiding you away. “Cass,” you called him softly, half turning to face him, “dance with me?”
He flashed you one of his signature smiles and leaned down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “For as long as you want.”
You didn’t really want to think about why you felt so compelled to believe Cassian’s words, it was like everytime he reassured you, you got this warm feeling in your chest that spread throughout your body, all the way to the tip of your toes. You felt lighter, confident, pretty…even, in his presence. There was this sense of sincerity about him, and Cassian –your Cassian– would never lie to you. So you relaxed in his embrace and allowed yourself to get lost in the rhythm again, enjoying the way he seemed to understand your body better than anyone, smoothly following your movements.
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It was around the sixth glass of fairy wine when Cassian decided that maybe you had had enough to drink, and maybe it was time to get some fresh air. He wasn’t entirely sure the suffocating heat was due to the way-too-packed dance floor or because you had been grinding down on him all night. If he had to be honest with himself, it was probably the latter. He couldn’t understand how did you dare think so low about yourself, in his eyes you were the most stunning female he had ever met, but tonight with that unfairly short, tight dress that hugged all the right places? You were absolutely ravishing. Full plump red lips so close to him, he had to refrain from kissing you until they were bruised and swollen.
“You know what I really want?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of the trance he had been for the last ten minutes. Your head was resting on his shoulder, eyes glazed and heavy looking up at him. He swallowed, you were definitely tipsy. You’d never look at him like that otherwise.
“What do you really want?” He asked, shamelessly tracing the shape of your mouth.
“A piece of chocolate cake,” you pouted. That pulled a laugh out of him, he wasn’t expecting it.
“You’ve got chocolate cake at home,” he answered, still smiling at your frowning face. “I bought you some this morning, when I heard you were coming back.”
You beamed at him, and Cassian’s heart made a flip in his chest. It was as if he had told you the secret of the universe itself.
“Really?” you asked, smiling widely. He chuckled. “Can we go home now?”
“Yeah, let's get you that chocolate cake sweetheart.”
With one arm securely wrapped around your waist and the other hooked under your legs, Cassian lifted you up easily, as if you weighed the same as a feather to him. A small gasp escaped your mouth once he took to the skies, it never failed to amaze you how truly powerful he was. How disciplined and graceful, even. There was nothing brute about Cassian, despite some awful claimings from equally awful people. This sight of him, the wind in his hair, strong wings on full display, was nothing short of a masterpiece.
As if sensing your ogling, Cassian looked down to meet your stare with a bashful smirk. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You know Cass, you're my favorite person in the entire world.” you whispered, smiling up at him.
His smirk widened. “Oh, you're so drunk.”
You frowned, a little pout forming on your lips. “I'm not drunk. Just tipsy with no filter.”
He chuckled. “I thought Az was your favorite.”
Your frown deepened and Cassian swore your body had stiffened a little. “Why? We barely talk anymore.” You scoffed.
Cassian gave you a sympathetic smile. “He's just been busy,”
“Yeah, whatever.”
And just like that your mood had gone back to the beginning of the night. Sour insecurities resurfacing in your head. It wasn't Cass’ fault though, he's been perfectly charming the entire night. It didn't sit right with you, this awkwardness surrounding you. “He didn't get me chocolate cake though, so you're still my fav.” You tried lifting the mood with a tentative playful smile. He mirrored it, but still he caught your change in demeanor, having fallen silent the rest of the ride home.
Even once inside the House of Wind, comfortably sitting on the counter top in the kitchen, eating a slice of cake, shoes discarded on the floor. You hadn't uttered another word, too lost in your thoughts.
Cassian observed you intently, eyes downcast, hair a little windswept, full lips engulfing the last bit of cake. He swallowed. He didn't understand his brother, how could he resist when you so openly flirted with him? Had it been him on the receiving end of those heated stares shared during training, he would already have you pressed against the nearest wall, devouring your mouth until you couldn't breathe. There was no denying the beauty of the middle Archeron sister, but you? No one could compare to you. Long dark lashes, beautiful plump lips, the subtle sun-kissed glow of your skin… and those thighs. Those godsdamned thighs, you could choke him to death with them and he would die a happy male.
Yet, you didn't seem aware of the effect you had on males —and females as well— whenever you’d walk into the room.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, low enough not to startle you.
“Am I not pretty enough?” You blurted out suddenly, as if you couldn't contain the thoughts inside your head anymore. Feeling embarrassed about how that came out, you averted your gaze away from him.
“Why would you think that?” Cassian asked softly, a small frown taking form in his face. When you didn't answer he moved to stand directly in front of you. “Sweetheart look at me, please,” his hand came to cup your chin, forcing your head up and causing your eyes to meet.
“It's just..” you huffed, mouth forming a small pout. “I'm not exactly soft and delicate, my body is too strong and maybe I laugh too loud,” You bit your lip trying to stop the spiraling of your thoughts. “I’ve never been…courted, I've had sexual partners, sure, but none of them had wanted to stay. No one has approached me for a while and tonight I thought– but of course not, Mor was there and she's stunning like the sun! I don't know, maybe I'm not feminine enough, that's all I'm saying.” You shrugged, trying to downplay it.
“That couldn't be farther from the truth. You truly have no idea what you do to every male in Prythian that sets their eyes on you.” He declared, looking so intensely at you that you couldn’t look away. The hand that was cupping your chin had moved down to rest on your waist and you sucked in a breath at the sudden rush of heat that act alone had caused to spread all over your skin. “You have no idea what you do to me.” Cassian’s voice had dropped to a low deep purr that had you feeling dizzy. “Breathtaking is not a strong enough word to describe your beauty. You don't think you're soft and feminine?” His free hand dared to trace a path from your hips up to your ribs, stopping just below your breasts. “I can point out a few soft and feminine spots if you wish.”
His eyes had taken a darker tone and you swallowed dry, feeling all tingly where his hands were currently resting on your body. Cassian was beautiful, perfect. You had always known that, but you would have never thought this male to have an attraction towards you. It was simply impossible, you've been best friends for as long as you remember, he had seen the ugly in you, the dark, awful sides of you. And in contrast, you've seen him take gorgeous lovers along the years. So you never gave it much thought, contempt to have him as your partner in crime, your own personal sun. But there was no denying the way he was watching you now, such hunger in his darkened gaze; there was no denying the way your mind and body were reacting to him either.
You didn't know when you had leaned in closer, or had that been him? Your hands were resting on his chest in a poor attempt to keep some composure but you knew he could smell the sweet vague scent of arousal coming off of you. Your face heated up, a faint blush all the way to the point of your ears.
When you didn’t say anything he added: “D’you wanna know why no one dares to approach you?” His breath fanned over your face. “That’s on me, sweetheart. I can’t help it, whenever I’m around you and some poor excuse of a male even thinks he might be worthy to touch you, my blood boils in my veins and I become violence incarnate. I know that. No one would be stupid enough to defy me.”
“But– but why?” you choked out. Too stunned to act cool.
He chuckled, a dark, dangerous sound. “Why? Because I want you. Because I dream about you. Because I need you.”
You tilted your head slightly upwards to stare at him, mouths mere inches away. There was such raw devotion in his eyes, it unleashed something primal from within you. It burned and ached more and more by the second, desperately wanting to be free. Oh, you wanted him. All of him.
“Then have me. Show me all the soft spots you like,” you whispered.
Cassian growled low, “I'm gonna show you just how beautiful you are.” And then he crashed your lips together in a hungry kiss. He kissed you deep and rough, hands tightly holding your hips and bringing you closer to the edge of the countertop.
Your own hands came to rest at the nape of his neck, fingers twisting and tugging at the strands there. You bit down on his lower lip, immediately dragging your tongue over it; groaning softly, he grabbed handfuls of your ass, kneading the flesh there. Arousal shot through your body, all the way to your core, thighs clenching together. You were almost certain your panties were drenched.
“This I like,” he managed between kisses, landing a spank to your left cheek. You gasped and he took the opportunity to explore more of your skin, kissing and nibbling that sensitive spot on your neck. He went lower, licking at your collarbones and you arched your back to give him more access.
Rough, calloused hands slid the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Cassian wasted no time attaching his mouth to your right breast, swirling his tongue and biting softly at the perked nub. Expert fingers twisting at the other before switching between them. You moaned loudly for him, hips jerking, searching for friction.
“These I like,” he said, releasing your niple with a sinful ‘pop’. Then his eyes darted down to your legs, forcing them open with his hips. Your dress had ridden up your hips, lace panties on full display for him. The fabric was soaked and Cassian growled at the sight. All for him. He fell to his knees before you, teeth grazing the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs “but these,” he murmured in between love bites. “I love these,” The General moaned before ripping your panties off and letting his tongue drag a long strip up your folds.
“Oh Gods” you couldn't help but moan out loud, fingers finding their way into Cassian's hair and pushing his head further in between your legs. Hips desperately chasing after that sinful, skilled mouth of his.
He chuckled darkly and the reverberations caused pleasure to shoot up your spine, eyes fluttering shut. You were almost sure you could touch the sky with your hands when he sucked harshly at your clit, and all thoughts emptied from your mind. It was just you, and Cassian, and the mindnumbing pleasure coursing through your veins as he fucked you with his tongue. It was all too much, too hot, too messy. His mouth felt so warm on you, fuck, drinking up your juices like he might die of thirst. You couldn't get enough of him, how did you get so long without succumbing to his charms?
Cassian groaned as yet another wave of arousal came gushing out of you, licking it all up, not a single drop to waste. Your taste was divine, he thought he may be high on it, head empty except for the carnal need to make you come undone on his mouth, and then fuck you into oblivion. He was so painfully hard, he could’ve just cum right there at the sight of you above him, looking all fucked up and he had yet to take off his pants. He could feel how close you were as your whimpering grew louder, head threw back in pleasure, too lost to notice the lone shadow that had made its way towards you. Cassian growled in warning, wings flaring proud in a display of dominance as he heard the light footsteps approaching. “Mine.” He seemed to growl on your skin, and you felt yourself tripping over the edge when you locked eyes with the intruder. A plea of The General’s name on your lips.
“Cass please, I'm gonna–” your release barreled through you with blinding force. Cassian rode you through your high, never faltering until you came down.
When you opened your eyes the intruder was gone. It was only you and Cassian in the room, he was smiling brightly at you, your heart gave a flip at the sight. He was still on his knees, lips shiny with the remnants of your orgsm, eyes still full of lust. He was so beautiful. You couldn't resist but to urge him up and kiss him breathless.
“I take it, you liked it” He murmured amusedly, hands still roaming over your body.
“Very much so, yes.” You smiled, leaning in for another kiss. He pressed himself against you, hard and ready, making you moan again.
A sudden new wave of lust (and a tinge of longing) invaded your senses, followed by a tentative tug. You gasped into his mouth, breaking the kiss to look up at him.
“You're…” you mused in awe, not able to form a coherent thought. His smile only grew wider and he dragged his mouth leisurely down your neck, biting softly.
“I'm not half done with you yet, love.”
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fandom#acotar series#acomaf#acowar#cassian acotar#cassian x you#cassian#cassian x reader#azriel x reader
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"hahh, baby, please... 'm sorry." Satoru whines under you, his cock leaking so much pre cum it was absolutely torturous. It's been like this for hours on end, he just wanted to cum so bad.
You keep telling him this was his punishment for hanging around with some low-leveled bitch. You normally are able to keep your cool, but you had to remind him whose pussy he cries over almost every night, who he cums in like a pathetic whore. And that's exactly what he was doing, his hands tied behind his back and his blindfold around his neck, hanging loosely. Every muscle in his body is twitching with every torturous slow thrust as you kept hopping up and down on his cock. He could feel you so well, burying his dick inside of you just to keep him there and tease him. He felt you leaking all over him, down to his balls and on the sheets, knowing damn well you want this as much as he does.
You weren't talking to him. You didn't say anything to him, no matter how much he begged you. It was like he was fucking a fleshlight, the only difference is you were dripping and moaning, clenching around him so deliciously.
"baby—nnggh!" His eyes were on the back of his head, his tongue sticking out like a true slut, like he was taking a porn shot. "Faster, go fucking faster..." He groans, getting fussy. It wasn't like he couldn't break from these ropes, he just knew he deserved what he was getting. He made his baby so jealous of a woman that didn't even see the real him, he should be punished like this.
"do I need to put your blindfold inside your mouth for you to actually shut up?" Your words were cold, you sounded so upset as if you weren't being impaled on his cock right now, as if you weren't leaking every single drop of arousal out of your cunt, squelching. "You're so f-fuckin' bipolar... wanna be s' strong n' shit." You lazily growl as you watch his cock disappear and reappear inside of you. A smirk forms on your face.
"tell me it's only me who you want."
Satoru was quick to say exactly what you wanted; "i-it is, baby, it is! I don't want no other woman, no one else but you. Only y'er pussy around me, only you, m' pretty girl..." He rambles uselessly, bucking his hips up into your hole, thinking he finally earned his orgasm.
You could feel your heart finally being tugged by his precious words from every single pet name he was calling you. You let your full body weight sink down until his lap, finally allowing his cock to travel inside the deepest areas. You could feel the tip pressing against your cervix, that precious prominent vein stroking against your g-spot at last. You lower your head into the crook of his neck, and that's when you can hear the snap of the ropes around his wrist.
"finally, pretty baby..." he seems to be an absolute bliss, growling almost as he holds onto your hips, preparing to hammer you down on his dick. "Can I give it to you? Can I finally fuck that cunt full of cum? Show you how I would only treat you, what everyone else is is missing out on?"
You feverishly nod, feeling the after effects of you teasing yourself. "Yeah, 'toru. Gimmie it. Fuck me."
You of course did not need to tell him twice. His hands gripped you firmly and held onto your ass before he started to lift you off his cock effortlessly, slamming you back down. He couldn't help but moan like a bitch when he hit inside that pussy, feeling all your juices splashing on him, able to feel your sticky mess properly. He leaned his head on the bed board and allowed his hands to have a mind of their own, taking his time to listen to every euphoric moan that escaped your sweet lips. The pleasure was killing him, something he was waiting for to finally feel. He couldn't help it when he was about to cum already.
He held himself back to make sure you were able to squirt and cream all over his cock before he finally filled you up.
He was so tired of edging he couldn't even be able to tease you and talk dirty to you like he normally would, being that perverted bastard he was. Satoru started to make you bounce up and down faster, your boobs pressing against his face, able to feel the soft flesh under his chin and on his chest. he had a pussy drunk smirk on his face as he saw the lewd expression you had, so ahego like from one of those hentia films.
All his, and he was all yours.
At some point he couldn't handle it no more, he actually completely dropped all of his dignity and his cock twitched stupidly inside your sopping cunt, moaning loud for you. "Come on, don't make me—" Satoru blabbered uselessly to himself.
You have no idea what he was telling you to do, as if the sounds of his balls slapping your skin wasn't loud enough to distract all of your thoughts. You felt a knot in your stomach, the familiar sensation as your cunt started to clench like you wanted to strangle his cock and keep it inside. You finally understand; you're both about to cum at the same time, sharing such a pleasure.
"'toru, 'm right there, keep going!" You panted like a dog in heat desperately, your nails clawing into his shoulders and making tiny crescent shapes. Your moans went right into his red ears, making his eyes shut in pleasure.
Satoru allowed himself to soak up every clench that your cunt delivered to his cock, wet walls stroking his veins. He nods vastly as he pumped you, currently helping you both reach your precious orgasms. "Yesyesyes, cum for me, pretty girl, make a mess with me." He starts to drool.
Your back arches, your breast flushed against his chest as you started to flutter around his cock, the way your face twists in pleasure made his mind fog and balls tighten, his body giving in.
Along with you, white ropes of seed paint inside your walls, both of your moans mixing in the sex filled room. He lets his cock warm inside your walls as you squeeze out your last drops of sweet cum onto him, making sounds and cooing. "Oh, take it all, baby, fuuuck me."
He gazes at you, smirking slightly and cupping your cheeks. You looked so cute like that, face all red and the tip of your tongue out, eyes dewy from unleashed tears, lashes wet. He plants a sweet kiss on your lips, taking in all your heavy breathing.
"just because you made me cum doesn't mean I forgive you." You breathlessly warn him. He rolled his eyes at his salty you were still being, kissing the corner of your lips just to keep close to your pretty fucked out face. "If I make you cum again, will you forgive me baby?"
"or do you just wanna use my pussy?" You quickly retort.
"you act as if you don't spell your name on my cock all night. I'm yours, and you're mine."
˚꩜⋆.°⭑Do not copy, translate, or steel in any way, reblogs are appreciated and allowed.
I'm back on Tumblr again!
#gojo smut#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru smut#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru gojo#smut writing#jjk smut
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Chapter 3 : Channeling your love
warnings: fluff, PTSD, trauma, future smut I prommy, suggestive shit, snow
Description: You and Joel end up going on patrol together
Joel’s eyes start to flutter open as the morning sunlight beams through the blinds of the window in the recording room. Looking around, Joel’s notices you're fast asleep with his leg still sprawled across your thighs, your hand clutching his jean covered calf. He watches you like this for a while, the way your chest moves up and down with quiet breaths, the way your eyelashes curl up. You start to mumble in your sleep and Joel listens closely, most of it is incoherent and doesn’t make much sense, until finally in a clearer voice he can hear you say “please, just let me go”. Joel’s forehead scrunches with concern, and he can feel his heart break a little for you, just what have you been through? He thinks to himself. He decides to nudge you, trying to pull you out of whatever nightmare or memory you were in. You open your eyes, taking a deep inhale through your nose, exhaling as you stretch out your arms and neck hearing some of your bones crack as you do. You look at Joel and smile, “Mornin’ sunshine”. Joel’s surprised, despite what he heard you say in your sleep, you seem chipper as ever, ready for the day. You don’t wait for a response, “How’s your foot feeling?” you gesture towards it as you bump your hand tired but playfully on his calf. Joel looks down at it, moving it around and twinkles his toes for a feeling, still a bit sore but nothing he can’t manage. “It’s a helluva lot better than it was last night, you got a strong swing in those arms.” Joel gestures to you as he crosses his arms behind his head, stretching out his body to make himself comfortable. You chuckle at his response “Hmm, well, I’m just glad I didn't permanently break you Joel.” you say as you check the time on your bedside alarm clock and see that it says 6:30. “I gotta start getting ready in thirty minutes” you tell Joel as you begin to yawn. Joel nods, removing his leg off of your thighs and pushes himself up off of the couch “Yeah, should prolly get back before Ellie wakes up” he mentions flustered.
You both hear a knock at the front door from downstairs and the door opening, “Hey, it’s me.” You recognize that it’s Maria’s voice, “Can I come up?” she asks. You sigh and pinch your nose, knowing exactly why she’s here. Well at least she isn’t ordering for me only a night before to go on patrol you think to yourself. Maria’s already walked upstairs into your home before you can answer her, and she sees Joel standing next to the couch, his hair ruffled, as you're still sitting on the couch rolling your eyes “Oh, please, by all means make yourself comfortable if you wanna just invite yourself in.” Maria scoffs at you and rolls her eyes as well, “Well I see my brother in law already has. Joel.” Maria remarks at Joel giving him a nod, he doesn’t miss the look of suspicion or distrust in her eyes. “Good morning, Maria. I was just stopping by, I don’t know if you heard but our dear host is letting Ellie take on some of the reins for hosting their show.” Joel tells her avoiding explanation. Maria smirks, “I did! That’s actually a part of why I’m here.” she decides to let go of her suspicions of him for now and looks to you, “One of our patrol guys, Brennan, caught a pretty nasty fever, weather must've gotten to him, so we’re short on forces for tomorrow. I thought with Ellie’s new promotion,” she says the word making finger quotes around it, “you would be the one up for the job. Just one day, I promise.”
You groan as you sit up from the couch, “Ellie only started yesterday, she still has a lot to learn before she can start doing everything by herself here.” As you say this Maria shakes her head, “She’ll be fine, Ellie’s a smart girl. Plus we have a deal, remember? Any order I give you, you take it because you are one of the few adults in Jackson that can really handle yourself outside the walls, and I let you keep doing your, thing here” She gestures to your cluttered work space as she says this. You take a long sigh, nodding “I know, Maria, I know but now isn't a good time. Isn’t there anyone else who can do it?” Joel steps in, having listened to the whole conversation “I’d be happy to take it on if that’s okay with you” he offers, Maria turns to him “Well that's real nice of you to offer Joel, but you’ve already been posted for search and guard duty with Tommy tomorrow. Don’t you have a kid you should be looking after right now?” Maria responds sternly. Joel looks at you and then back to Maria “We weren’t finished talking.” Joel matches her sternness in his response. Your breath hitches at this, and you decide to step back into the conversation, “Fucking fine! I’ll do it, ya happy Maria?” She smirks, “Very, you’ll be starting at 6:30 tomorrow morning with Gregory” She responds.
Fucking Gregory? You think to yourself, you had gone on one date with him years ago, and hooked up a couple times after because it was just something to do for you. He didn’t show any interest in your work, and the sex was…disappointing. You remember Eugene asking you why Gregory was telling everyone you two were officially dating “He’s practically bragging about it Ash '' he'd told you. You decided not to approach the situation to avoid confrontation, but instead broke the news after airing Rumors by Fleetwood Mac on the radio, speaking into your mic “So listen guys, I’ve kinda been seeing someone recently, and I thought it would only be appropriate if I told him how I felt by playing this next song for you guys, Not Fair by Lily Allen. This is for you Gregory. Be sure to listen closely, everyone!” You had slammed the mic back onto your desk as the song began, getting up to dance along in your office without a care in the world. He’d confronted you about it the next day calling you “immature” and “just as lousy a lay” before storming off telling you to “grow and up and go fuck yourself”, and you’d avoided him ever since.
Joel notices a look of discomfort on your face, Who the hell is Gregory? He thinks to himself. “Alright, I’ll see you both at posting tomorrow morning.” Maria says before she goes to exit, leaving you and Joel alone again. Joel clears his throat before speaking up, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you back there.” he apologizes. “It's not your fault Joel, really. Maria’s pretty much always on my ass about work. I appreciate you trying to help though.” You respond earnestly. You turn your head towards your alarm clock and see it says 6:50, “I gotta start getting ready for the day, a lot to do, lemme walk you out Joel.” He follows you to the front door, holding it open for his exit, “By the way,” you start “I won’t mention you spending the night here to Ellie, don’t worry.” Joel looks at you and blushes, “Sure- right thanks. She’s young, she might assume…Y’know.” he says while wiping his mustache lightly with his thumb, “Right…Exactly…” You agree sheepishly. Back to being awkward with each other I guess, you think “Could you ask her to come over early when you get back? We’ve got a long day ahead of us, she might wanna pack a bag with her to spend the night here as well.” Joel is nodding his head along with your words as you make your request, “No problem, I’ll just tell her I ran into you and Maria earlier when I get back, M’ sure she’ll be too tired to question it.” You smirk and look down at your shoes in a timid form. “I’ll see you around?” You ask, and Joel smiles back at you, “Definitely.”
When Ellie arrives you’ve already showered and changed into a clean set of clothes. You spend the whole day crunching to teach her as much as she could learn in as little time as possible. Ellie feels your stress, knowing you want everything to be right, “Calm down R.Q! I promise you I’m gonna be fine! Let's take a break, please?” You sigh and agree, apologizing for how stern you’ve been. “How about you show me what you’ve picked out for your set list tomorrow?” Ellie shakes her head at you, holding her journal close to her chest. “No way dude, you’re gonna have to wait to hear it until tomorrow. I want it to be a surprise!” Ellie smirks. “You know I won’t be able to listen in when I’m out on patrol tomorrow, Maria doesn’t exactly allow us to carry radio’s around when we’re dealing with infected.” you tell her. Ellie doesn’t let up, “I know, but something tells me you’ll find a way to hear it. I promise you it won’t suck! You can trust me.” You give Ellie a smile and decide to let it go, “Alright, alright, I trust you.” you tell her chuckling and you see Ellie do a fist bump by her side, whispering “Fuck yeah” to herself.
You decide to give Ellie a thirty minute break from work and she goes to sit down on your couch to write in her journal out of sight from you. When she plops herself down on the couch and opens her journal, she looks up and catches a glimpse of the two used drinking glasses next to a half filled glass bottle of whiskey on your coffee table. She looks in your direction and notices you're staring off into space with a pencil in your hand when you were supposedly writing a list of reminders for Ellie to check off tomorrow, and you're humming along to what's playing on the radio, Come and Get Your Love by Redbone. Ellie squints as she observes you and starts thinking to herself. It dawns on her that Joel was up really early this morning, and she’s usually the one who wakes up before him these past couple weeks since she started working with you, and telling her that he “just so happened” to run into you and Maria this morning. Ellie’s gears are running, there’s no real proof that it is what she thinks it is, but she has a hunch and that's enough for her to make up her mind. Her first thought is ew, really? But then she thinks about the times Joel has lit up whenever she talks about you, his eagerness to greet you whenever he comes over to walk her home at the end of the day, and Ellie starts to smile at the idea of you bringing out a softer side of him. Okay Ellie, I guess it’s time to play cupid for these crazy kids she decides.
You’re lost in thought, playing with the pencil in your hand as you remember Joel watching you dance the night before, laying your cheek on your palm as you stare off. “Knock knock” Ellie says as she physically knocks on the office door frame twice and pulls you back to reality. You see her smiling with her arms crossed, “Hey, you have 15 more minutes for your break right? What’s up?” You ask her as you check your watch for the time in case you were spacing out for too long. “I’m feeling pretty hungry, can we get something to eat?” She asks, you smile and nod at her, “Sure, you wanna pick up some sandwiches from Seth?” you ask. Ellie’s face pinches, “I don’t like Seth, he always smells like alcohol and stares at me weird.” You purse your lips and furrow your brows at what she says, “Yeah I don’t like him either, makes a pretty good sandwich though.” You say, “That he does” Ellie agrees. You see her stare at the floor awkwardly assuming she’s not sure how to go about the situation. “Tell you what,” you start, “How about I go pick up sandwiches for the both of us and you can stay here to hold down the fort?” Perfect, Ellie thinks, but plays coy by responding “Oh you don’t have to do that.” “It’s no problem really, besides I haven’t left the apartment yet today and should get some fresh air.” I knew Joel didn’t just run into you this morning Ellie thinks and she smiles “Well, if you insist, thank you R.Q.” she says and you get up giving her a pat on the shoulder as you pass to grab your coat. “I should be back in about 10 minutes, okay Ellie?” “Okay!” she responds and you walk out the door.
“Time to search for the perfect song.” She says to herself, going straight to the shelf of your favorite albums. She remembered when she’d asked you about it,
“Those my dear are my personal all time favorites.” You had said with a sense of pride. Ellie had skimmed through the collection and didn’t recognize most of them, “I’ve never heard you play any of these on the radio before.” she pointed out. “Good eye, I usually save them for very special occasions.” “What kind of special occasions?” she questioned, and you shrugged, “Dunno, maybe to dance with someone really special.” Ellie took a mental note of this.
Now she was currently searching through albums reading out song names on the backs to see if she could remember any specific song you may have mentioned in the past. One particular album sticks out to her, and places the cd in a player, skipping songs that didn't have the right “mood” to them within the first five seconds, and then she hears it, letting the song play out fully “That’s the one” she says. She ejects the album from the cd player putting it back in its case. Walking over to your desk, she pulls out her journal and crosses out one of the songs for later in the day on her list, praying that you’ll hear the song with Joel once it airs tomorrow.
Then it occurs to Ellie, Oh shit, how do I even know if they’re gonna be partnered together tomorrow? Ellie hears the front door open and close, “Hey I’m back” you yell up to her. Ellie quickly slams her journal closed and quickly gets up from your desk chair. You place both sandwiches on your kitchen counter and start grabbing plates for the both of you. She walks up from behind you, “Welcome back R.Q…” She says. You turn to look at her with confusion “‘Welcome back’? Why so formal kiddo, someone die while I was gone?” You question half jokingly, slightly worried something happened. She shakes her head, “I was just wondering, who are you patrolling with tomorrow? Do you know?” She asks you avidly. Now you’re even more confused, but you think maybe she could tell you were stressing over it, you cringe a little at the thought of Gregory. “Just a guy named Gregory, why do you ask?” “It’s nothing, you just seemed kinda stressed about tomorrow and I was curious.”She says. You pout, feeling guilty for supposedly worrying her. You turn to face her, “That’s so sweet of you to worry about me Ellie, but I’ll be fine, I promise.” You see she’s not totally satisfied with your response, “Are you really just worried about me? Or are you nervous about tomorrow? You can tell me.” You cross your arms across your chest and pick your head up, attempting to put on the appearance of the ‘cool adult’ she could confide in. Ellie thinks for a moment as you stand in front of her waiting for a response, “I just realized I need to do something, something really important.” She blurts out finally. You’re taken aback, “Okay, does this ‘something’ have anything to do with hosting tomorrow?” You ask “Yes.” She replies bluntly. You squint at her, “Do you need my help?” you continue questioning her, “No, it’s also really important that I do this by myself.” she replies sounding almost desperate while she bites the inside of her cheek. “Hm.” You simply react as your lips purse in consideration, “How long do you need?” you ask, “Just an hour, tops.” Ellie sounds very sure of herself. You decide to let her do her thing, “Okay, but if you’re even a minute late I will have to tell Joel about it. Plus I will not be thrilled, and you don’t wanna see me when I’m…not thrilled” You tell her trying to hold a sense of authority in your voice, but you’re still giving her the benefit of doubt. Ellie sighs in relief, and gives you a hug as she says “This is gonna be worth it for all of us, trust me.” Your eyebrow raises as you hug her back, “Wait wha-” “Gotta go bye!” You watch her run downstairs “What about lunch?” you yell out, “Not hungry!” she responds, and you find yourself dumbfounded once you’re alone.
Fifty minutes go by while you’re alone, packing a backpack of supplies for the morning. Once Ellie returns she runs up the stairs to greet you, “Hey Ellie, you get what you needed?” you ask and she nods her head excitedly, giving you a big smile. “You wanna tell what was so important for you to do?” you question, shaking her head and replies “mm-mm” while still smiling. You chuckle and reply, “You are so weird.” You wake up early the next morning at 5:30am, sleeping on your couch so Ellie could take the bed. Two nights in a row on this thing, I’m gonna have back problems before I’m forty you think to yourself. You get dressed in the bathroom after a quick shower, trying to avoid waking Ellie up. You gather your backpack of supplies, double checking you have everything you’d need for the trip. You go into your office and grab a piece of paper to write in large letters ‘You got this Ellie :) Proud of you and remember, HAVE FUN!!!!!’ You place it on your bedside cabinet for her to find before carefully tucking her into the covers. She rummages in her sleep a bit and you make your way to the patrol meeting gate.
You’re waiting 30 minutes looking for signs of Gregory with your guns and weaponry ready, It’s not like I wanna be partnered with him either, but he doesn’t need to torture me by making me wait, the sooner we get this done the better you think to yourself impatiently. You feel a finger tap on your shoulder and spin around to meet eyes with Joel. You give him a warm smile and tell him good morning softly, “Hey, so, Tommy just told me we’re partnering up. Says Gregory can’t make it today, musta caught whatever Brennan has.” Joel tells you. You raise your eyebrows in surprise and a sense of relief washes over you. “Who’s Tommy partnering up with?” You ask, Joel shrugs and says “He’ll figure it out”.
At 9:30am Tommy makes his way to your place letting himself in and calling out Ellie’s name. She’s sitting at your office desk taking notes and looking at the time on her watch to keep on schedule. She turns to look at Tommy, “I shouldn’t have to be the one telling you this, but you shouldn't go getting people sick jus’ so you can play matchmaker kid.” Ellie blinks, “Did you partner them?” She asks on the edge of her seat. Tommy sighs and nods his head, “Yeah, they’re out patrolling together as we speak.” Ellie yells a celebratory “YES!” and thanks Tommy, “Yeah yeah, you owe me one kiddo.” Tommy says and then questions “How’d you do it anyway? Get Gregory sick?” Ellie shrugs, “Spit in his drink when he wasn’t looking at the bar. To be fair he seemed pretty smashed, so that's on him.” Tommy rubs his hands on his face hearing this, “Really hope Joel doesn’t blow it for Gregory’s sake, christ….”
You follow behind Joel making the rounds to search for any infected or signs of trespassers for a couple of hours, snow begins to fall as the sky grows darker. Joel’s been keeping an eye on you the whole day, making sure you feel safe, but you’ve been nothing but completely focused the whole day, finger steady on your rifle trigger and ready to act when opportunity strikes. He didn’t think you had this kind of side to you, Guess that’s why Maria trusts them on these jobs he realizes. Occasionally you’d watch Joel and come to the same conclusion about him, Always got his head in the game I see, good. The wind starts picking up harshly as time passes, and the snowfall continues growing stronger, quickly covering each other's footprints. “We should get to some shelter for the night, I don’t see this storm letting up anytime soon.” You suggest, “Tommy n’ Maria been saying this winters only gonna get worse. We should hurry.” Joel agrees.
You spend thirty minutes walking in the storm before finally approaching some proper shelter that Joel mentioned he’d spent the night in before with another patroller named Hailey. You frown at the thought of this, until he also mentioned that she spent the whole time sulking because she wasn’t partnered with some boy she liked, “Told her she should just tell him how she feels, n’ I saw them dancing at the bar just last week.” He smiles at you, and you smile back “Well look at you, Mr. Matchmaker Miller! Should I tell Maria to start partnering you up with love hungry singles? You could start charging them for counseling.” You teased him making your way up the stairs behind, as he’s shaking his head and chuckling. “Sure, you could be my first official customer.” he says while holding the door open for you to enter, he waves his hand to bow graciously at you “Step into my office why don’t ya?” You start giggling as you enter through the door, Everyone I’ve met in Jackson who’s talked about this man said he was a stern old fucker with a stick up his ass, but he’s really just…a big dork, like Ellie…You realize.
You stomp your boots on the ground and take off your bag and jacket to drop them to the floor in the entrance corridor, and peel your boots off to keep snow from making water tracks inside. You walk over to one of the cabinets to search through them. “Whatcha doin?” Joel asks as he’s taking off his jacket, “Lookin’ for goodies” You respond, “Sometimes patrollers leave stuff behind and completely forget they even left it there.” “Ahh okay” Joel says, walking up to a pantry on the wall of the kitchen, you hear him open it up grabbing something and you turn to see him holding a mostly filled tall bottle of alcohol. He looks at you and smiles “You mean somethin’ like this?” You nod and smile back, “Yeah, something like that.” Joel walks closer and points behind you “I also set up a radio in here for future visits, thought it’d be nice to listen to you n’ Ellie if I ever get stuck out here.” You look to see a portable radio set up on a small table next to the couch. Looking back at Joel he’s still smiling at you, “Wanna turn it on and see what Ellie’s up to?” He asks in an earnest soft voice.
You feel your cheeks burning up, you start thinking about what Joel said about coming to this place only once before, but the place looks well put together compared to other Jackson hideouts, none of the furniture is dusty, and there’s actually a decent supply of stock besides the alcohol. “That story you told me, about only being here with that girl Hailey, was that true?” Joel looks flustered at your question, he clears his throat, “Well that did really happen once, ‘cept it was actually Tommy who helped her out while I just napped on the couch. I liked the place well enough that I kept coming back here to make it my own spot. You’re actually the first person I’ve brought here since I found it with Hailey and Tommy.” Joel swallows before he continues, “I’m sorry I lied to you, I think I was just tryna impress ya.” Joel’s cheeks are flushed red as he rubs the back of his head, looking up to you and back down to the floor awkwardly. You sigh, shaking your head as you watch him, face now completely serious “I just have one question for you, Miller.” Joel looks at you with a shared serious but nervous look on his face, ready to have it from you, and in a completely firm voice you ask “Did Hailey and that guy she liked ever really get together?” Joel’s eyes widen, he chuckles nervously, “Uh yeah, they’re actually really sweet together.” You break the very stern look you're pretending to hold on your face, snorting at Joel’s response, and start laughing. Joel sighs in relief and chuckles with you “God damn you had me real scared there for a moment.” Joel admits, you cover your mouth as you giggle and start apologizing for tricking him “I don’t care if you’re not really a matchmaker Joel, well, maybe a little disappointed but really.” Joel smiles as you continue to giggle at him “Yeah yeah, ya got me.” He admits defeat. You take a deep breath as you wipe away some tears from laughing, “C’mon, let's hear what Ellie’s playing, she told me she wanted to surprise me yesterday and I’ve been dying to hear what she picked out.” you tell Joel “Alright, start ‘er up” he says gesturing to the radio.
You tune into your channel on the radio and immediately hear Ellie’s voice booming with excitement through the static, “Sure is piling up out there, I guess our dear Radio Queen’s gonna be stuck out in the trenches for the night. That’s okay though! I’m fucking awesome at this job, still, I hope you’re listening R.Q. and staying nice and warm wherever you are.” You place your hand on your cheek and feel pride takeover your heart, I’m so fucking proud of her you think. “And Joel, if you’re listening, take good care of them, and don’t be a hard ass for once, I don’t want you gettin’ me fired' when I’ve only just started! Anywho for those of you just listening, my name is Ellie, and I’m the world's BEST radio host, unless R.Q. is also listening, then I’m second best.” Learn To Fly by Foo Fighters starts playing and you immediately start turning the sound dial down when you recognize it, “Not a fan?” Joel asks, smirking at you. You snort, “I mean, I have copies of some of their albums at my place obviously, but they're not my favorite.” You admit, Joel hands you the bottle and you take it saying “I’m still so proud of Ellie, so I say cheers to that.” and you take a sip, making a face of slight disgust at the taste shaking your head after. “Yeah I’m real proud of her too'' Joel says as he takes the bottle back from you and takes a sip for himself, showing no reaction to the taste, just watching you as he sips and smirks at you. Your heart skips a beat watching him look at you.
Time passes and the sun has fully set outside of the cabin, you and Joel had lit a bunch of candles around the living room to keep away the dark, making yourselves comfortable. Joel now watches you dance along to Mr. Brightside by The Killers, several more sips of alcohol in both of your systems, using your socks to slide across the hardwood floor as you dance. Joel is sitting on the floor laying his back against the front of the couch, eyes following your every movement as his hand taps against his knee along with the rhythm. He takes another sip from the bottle keeping his eyes on you. You see him sipping while attempting to slide your way over to him, tripping over your toes and landing forward to catch yourself on your hands and knees in the process. Joel almost gets up to check if you’re okay but you start laughing at yourself, rolling onto your back as you do and Joel starts giggling with you as he watches. You roll yourself back over onto your hands and knees and start to crawl his way. Your ass is perked up slightly as you grab the bottle from his hand and stretch your legs out to sit yourself up in an almost split like pose, with one hand that's steadying you placed on the floor. The other is holding the neck of the bottle as you take a large sip, keeping your eyes on Joel the whole time. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand after placing the bottle on the floor and Joel licks his lips involuntarily, watching you. You smile and flutter your eyelashes at him as the song fades out.
Ellie’s voice starts booming through the radio and slight static again, “So you guys! I have the amazing Eugene here with me right now because he wanted to come by and say hi, and I thought it’d be appropriate if he sat with me while I hosted for the remainder of the night. How would you say I’m doin’ so far Eugene?” *A beat passes*, “Y’know Ellie I’d say you are doin’ a fantastic job so far, I guarantee if Ash and Joel are listening’ right now, they’re real proud of you.” “Aw thanks Eugene, I just hope they’re listening!” You giggle and start cheering for Ellie, “We are so proud o’ you girlie.” you slur your words a bit, still holding the same position while pointing your hand at the radio, Joel rests his head against the couch mattress and starts laughing at your cheers. You stop laughing when you hear the next song start to play, Good Dancers by The Sleepy Jackson “Oh my god” You say. Joel looks at you and asks what's wrong, You start to giggle again, “This is one of my absolute favorite songs, Ellie must've gone through my drawer of favorites and wanted to surprise me. I usually save those songs for special occasions.” You tell Joel, and he gets up off of the ground, holding out a hand to you, “Y’wanna dance?” he asks as you're still seated on the floor. You bite your lower lip as you smile and nod, placing your hand in his, and he lifts you up to your feet. He takes your left hand with his right, placing his left hand on your hip, and you place your right up on his shoulder. You begin to dance around the room together as the music plays and you start to giggle as he smiles down at you.
Don’t always dream for what you want
But I love to watch good dancers talk
My heart is stronger than you all
But I love to watch good dancers talk
You lay your head against Joel’s chest, taking in the smell of him. Whiskey, gunpowder, and pine. You sway together as the music plays, and Joel lifts his hand from your thigh to take your chin into his hand and gently lifts it for you to look into each others eyes. Your sway’s start to slow down, “Can I kiss you?” Joel asks you as you continue swaying, your eyes widen, and you feel so drunk and yet so sobered all of a sudden, taking in a deep breath. “Yes” you whisper, and Joel cups your face with both hands. He lowers his face to yours, whispering “Are you sure?” You look down at his lips and then up to his eyes and nod “Yes Joel” He reaches down connecting his lips with yours, and you lean into his kiss as you close your eyes. His lips feel so soft and gentle against yours and you feel butterflies rise in your belly as you kiss and sway.
Don't always dream for what you want
But I love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind
You've got a place to go now)
My heart is stronger than you all
(When you think with your mind
You've got a place to go now)
But I love to watch good dancers talk
(When you think with your mind
You've got a place to go now)
The song slowly fades out and you open your eyes, your lips still connected, the first thing you see is Joel’s gray hair and a memory seeps in. Something awful, something you blocked out a long time ago. Then Ellie’s voice booms out from the radio and you jump away from Joel. “Alright everybody, you’re not gonna believe this but Eugene just told me he once saw The Rolling Stones perform live! Can you tell us more about-” Joel turns the radio dial off as he says “Let’s just- turn this off for now...” He approaches you and goes in for another kiss and you accept, his hands slide down from your back down to the back pockets of your jeans. A memory starts crawling back into your mind and you hear a man's voice belonging to someone you tried hard to forget a long time ago say look at you pretty little thing. You begin to put your hands up against Joel’s chest trying to push him back, and when he doesn't realize, you start to panic “Don't-wait-don’t FUCKING touch me!” you exclaim and Joel backs away from you immediately. He holds his hands up noticing you panting with a wild look in your eyes and tears falling down your face when you try to avoid his eye contact “Whoa- hey, I am so sorry” he says as you look at him remembering where you are. “Are you…okay?” He asks you with genuine concern, and you just stare at Joel like you don’t even recognize him in silence. “I need a minute, sorry.” You say this as you quickly exit the living room and find the nearest room to enter, slamming the door behind you.
You find yourself in a dark bathroom and light a candle with a matchbox set next to it on the windowsill, noticing your hands are trembling. When you look at yourself in the mirror you see tears have already been streaming down your face, I always suffer in silence, you think to yourself. You start to turn the faucet to run the water for noise but are quickly reminded that the plumbing system doesn’t work here, cursing motherfucker under your breath. Your body is trembling and you’re choking back big sobs that start to overwhelm you. Forming your hand into a fist you bring it to your open mouth and bite down a bit to muffle yourself before you can start screaming. You spend a long time like this in the bathroom, seeing yourself in the mirror you think you look pathetic. I can’t do this with Joel, he reminds me of what happened, and remembering hurts too fucking much you think to yourself. You decide you have to distance yourself from him to protect yourself, as much as you like him, you can’t handle how you think and feel when you look at him now. The guilt of it begins to weigh on you, you don’t want to hurt Joel but you have to.
Joel spends his time alone in the living room sitting anxiously in silence, shaking his leg the whole time without notice or realization. He replays what happened between you two in his head, did I overstep asking her to kiss me? What just happened? He thinks to himself trying to assess what he could’ve done to offend or make you uncomfortable. Is it my age? I’m old enough to be their father, maybe hearing Ellie’s voice made her realize that and it made them uncomfortable…He can’t stop thinking about it, the moment was so perfect for him, until it wasn’t. I really like them…we’re in big trouble, Joel…
You finally step out of the bathroom with puffy eyes and bite marks on your hand. Joel stands up as soon as you step into the living room, rubbing the denim covering his thighs up and down to do something with his hands, “Hey, uh, are you alright? Looks like you’ve been crying.” You fold your lips and wipe your cheek in case of any tears he might notice on your face, “Yeah I’m fine, sorry.” you say with no emotion in your voice, extremely straightforward as if you’re still outside on patrol.
Joel notices your total change in tone and grows more concerned for you, “Do you wanna talk…? About what just happened I mean?” You put your hands in your pockets trying to hide how much they’re shaking and purse your lips out as you shake your head no, “Honestly Joel, I think we should just get some sleep, we have a pretty early morning ahead of us.” Joel nods his head in disappointment, “Right.” he replies.
You walk away from him saying “I can take the couch, the beds all yours.” “Okay.” he says back. You can hear a sadness in his voice and feel his eyes on you as you face away from him laying yourself down on the couch. “Alright well, goodnight, and um. Yeah.” Joel ends the conversation and you hear his footsteps further away from you until you hear a final thud against bed springs from afar. You shut your eyes tight and cover your mouth with your hand so he can’t hear you crying again, curling up your body in a fetal position as you quietly cry yourself to sleep.
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 289
Adjective: Amusing
Noun: Fight
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Amusing: causing laughter and providing entertainment; a violent confrontation or struggle
Fight: a violent confrontation or struggle; a boxing match; a battle or war; a vigorous struggle or campaign for or against something; an argument or quarrel; the inclination or ability to fight or struggle
#im quite late again#i ended up feeling pretty tired last night#and my girlfriend and i had to get enough rest for a big thing#that i made the executive decision to just go to bed#in addition to that i heard back about the job applied for last week and i got a zoom interview with them#i just have to schedule it with them#and im so glad that me not having one of the degrees they listed as 'required' is okay (cos they wouldnt offer me an interview if it wasnt)#my girlfriend and i also made dinner together again and it was pretty good which is always nice#as for the prompt i can see a lot of different ways it can go#and some of them can be goofy via the 'amusing' aspect#but what im thinking of doing is writing about a couple getting into a 'fight' (argument)#and then it becoming 'amusing' and the argument diffusing that way#which i feel like is not uncommon#so im excited to explore that in a poem#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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Cup of China 2023 - Adam Siao Him Fa and Shoma Uno during the men’s victory ceremony
#this photo is everything to me I want to frame it put it on my wall stare at it forever#i’ve been lowkey hoping for something like this the whole off season watching adam’s ig and following him posting about his training#I love this boy and I love that he’s the kind of person who keeps quiet and works hard to get what he wants (like shoma)#and I do love his skating - his two programs were my favorite last season after shoma’s#but he really clicked for me at worlds on that first monday of practice (ik I will never shut up about this sorry)#was it the last group of men? it was pretty late and adam went in the group after shoma#and I was already shaky after seeing shoma practice with my very eyes#the way shoma practices is really like a machine - relentless and single-minded and unstoppable#and that night he was really hitting it (and popping a lot of jumps but he was still not holding back)#I think it was the night shoma did more jumping passes than the rest of the other men put together#and then adam’s group came out#and I ended up being unable to look away from adam because I saw much of the same qualities in him#and it went through my mind that of all the guys I’d seen there he was the one that reminded me the most of shoma#(lol it’s always shoma in the end isn’t it)#(and I love that shoma had already recognized his qualities too)#(I was so devastated when worlds went the way they did for adam sdghjkk)#but last season he still didn’t have what it took to fight at the same level with the guys at the top - or the consistency#that’s why this win feels so precious and meaningful#adam kept it together and delivered once more - it wasn’t just another one-time win in france#and to do it like that! tired from back to back assignments jetlagged and with boot issues!! On bad ice!!!#he knew that if shoma went clean it would have been hard or impossible for him to win#but he went for it with all he had and fought hard - i teared up towards the end because I was so worried he’d let his sp mistake get to hi#can’t wait for gpf but no matter how adam does there I’m so proud of him 😭#this was hard for me to watch because I also wanted shoma to win but I think Adam needed it more and it ended up being a deserved win#and I think it will motivate shoma for nhk and I’m so here for it! or literally: will be so there for it afsghjjfghgdh aaaaaaaaahhh#adam siao him fa#shoma uno
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#actually manage to go to bed now or another night ending around 5-6am?#tumblr made me smile at least#dear diary emotional bullshit#giving fair warning or whatever idk#heavy messy life bullshit#just venting and shiz but def negative energy/bad vibes#official last chance to turn back#talking w MIL former pharmacist but within 2 years so immoderately accurate I acknowledge that#but a lot of what she said didn’t match up with the info available online from cites I imagine are pretty up to date#offer assistance online so probs pretty well informed an up to date#and I get that bae probs needs the mental security or w/e bc talking w her mom and her job and I get that#but then why the fuck would that make me feel any better??????#all in my head isn’t any better bc guess where I have to live#bed might’ve been smarter but if I’d cry either way then at least not keep bae up#I and negative head space just manifests as stress dreams/mundane nightmares#lyrics stuck in my head#I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not I’m far from lonely and it’s all that I’ve got#or I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired#I need something else would someone please just give me ? hit me knock me out and let me go back to sleep#up down turn around please don’t let me hit the ground tonight I think I’ll walk alone find my soul as I go home
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💭
#hhhh feeling very anxious and horrible and shitty especially with the new shitty things happening on my mom’s side#hhhh last night when my mom got home from work and started talking about the new shit happening….#I was just anxious and spacing out/disassociating and ending up picking my face and pulling my eyelashes more…#… I’m tired… I’m so fucking tired… I’m tired of feeling like this for two fucking years straight#I wish I could seek out therapy and get help with my mental health and trichotillimania#also pretty sure I have ocd but regardless I desperately need help with my mental health but probably can’t for a few years#bc it’s most likely expensive and my parents have never been understanding and university counseling won’t help me with my issues either#… dude tomorrow is my birthday but i wish it wasn’t and I wish I wasn’t feeling so fucking horrible and shitty#hhh will most likely delete this later#squid sister says stuff
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꒷♡꒷ STRESS RELIEF!
♰ featuring: wriothesley [genshin impact]
♰ note: i’m in heat and all i can think about is a stressed and tired wriothesley eating out his pretty gf from the back to relieve his tension.
sypnosis: get you a man who will drown in your pussy and call it “stress relief”!
wc: 2.6k
content/trigger warning(s): 18+. smut. femme/female bodied!reader. messy pussy-eating. dominant/feral!wriothesley. marking. biting. spanking. squirting. cursing. hand-holding. groping. hair pulling. ꒷꒦
It was almost as though Wriothesley was being crushed under the constant pressure of his job as the warden within the shadowy confines of the Fortress of Meropide. The burden of his obligations bore down on him like the merciless force of the sea that imprisoned them all within the stronghold. When a problem arose or strife broke out among the prisoners, he was the one they all turned to for help. Today, on the other hand, appeared to be the day that he would be pushed to his breaking point. There was a mountain of paperwork that was piled high on top of his desk and seemed to never end; the pipes seemed to trickle and leak indefinitely, necessitating constant repair; the elevators are out of commission for maintenance, forcing everyone to use the forgotten, decrepit, and mildew-smelling stairwell; and, to top it all off, there is a 'Credit Coupon' thief swiping people's credits beneath their noses. And, not to mention, he had been so backed up with dealing with everyone else’s problems that he had already missed his afternoon tea.
Anyone near could feel the ominous aura radiating off of the iron doors of his office.
Though, amidst the chaos and tension, one beacon of solace shone through—you. His light in the darkness. The one thing keeping him sane.
Your warm smile and unwavering support were the calming forces that held the key to unlocking his cold heart. He craved the comforting words you spoke, the softness of your touch, and the calm you provided amidst the chaos of everyday life. You turned into a haven for him—a haven from the relentless pressure that felt like it would swallow him.
Which is exactly why you weren’t surprised when a guard came to you while you were aiding Sigewinne with a patient, informing you that the Duke requested your presence in his office immediately. Lunch was usually shared by the two of you, but you expected that he would be too overwhelmed with work to remember to eat, let alone take a break, given everything he has been going through.
The two guards outside his office gave you a pitying glance as you got closer, understanding that things were not good. Nevertheless, they let you cross the bridge and into his office. You went in, and the first thing you saw was Wriothesley sitting on the bottom two steps, as if he were waiting for you. You noticed that his tie was unkempt, his jacket was completely abandoned, and his hair had a disheveled tousle that suggested he had either been tugging or running his hands through it for at least a while. That, and it was impossible to ignore the worn-out look in his faded hues.
But as soon as your eyes met, his worn-out expression changed to something strange but familiar—something you had seen on many sultry nights spent by yourself with him in the past. His eyes were fixed on you, freezing you in place with an indisputable lust, a carnal hunger, and a burning desire. Pushing himself up from the steps, he moved toward you with calculated, deliberate steps, each one more heavy than the last, like a beast cornering its prey, his heavy steel boots clinking against the copper floors. Soon, he was towering over you, hands twitching at his sides as though he were refraining from tearing you apart where you stood.
“You look good.” You blurted, swallowing thickly in your throat, as you were cornered against the heavy steel of his office’s door.
He chuckled, throaty and sultry, as his hand met your waist, the other one coming to rest it’s forearm above your head as he caged you between the door and his muscular frame, “Yeah?”
His casual drawl had your knees going weak, threatening to buckle beneath you while his thumb rubbed slow, salacious circles into your hip. “I think I’ve been better.”
You shrugged nonchalantly with an indifferent hum, raising your hands to trail absentminedly over his large chest that bulged through his dress shirt, finally coming to toy with his tie. “Mhm. You missed lunch today, you know.”
“Did I?” His voice was husky—deep, the subtle rumble of his baritone voice going straight to your core causing your thighs to squeeze against one another—an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Wriothesley, who’s palms grew hungry on you, manuvering behind you to grope thick handfuls of your rear shamelessly. “I’ve been so swamped with work that it must’ve slipped my mind. But . . . I’m sure you understand, right, baby?” His arm that was poised above your head lowered, his partially gloved thumb stroking at the supple flesh of your cheek. “Why don’t you let me make it up to you, yeah? . . . I have an idea that will make us both happy.”
You had an idea as to what he was alluding to, but nonetheless, you nodded with a hum of agreement. This made Wriothesley smirk in response, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear so that he may lean in and press a kiss to your temple.
“Turn around.”
His dominant undertone left little room for argument as you did what he asked, turning around so that you were facing the metal door of his office. Without another moment's hesitation, you felt yourself pushed against it, your body pinned against Wriothesley's heated form with your cheek smushed against the cold metal face of the door. His body pressed firmly against yours, and you felt something unmistakable grinding into your ass, all the while his sharp canines drug themselves up your neck, a silent warning to stay put.
And you did.
Hot, sloppy kisses trailed themselves down the back of your neck as greedy palms groped and squeezed at your body wherever they could reach—almost as though they were attempting to alleviate tension with every heated touch. Sensing his descent, you eventually heard him drop to his knees behind you, his gloved hands reaching up to lift your skirt and turn it over to expose your plump, pliant rear. A growl, something animalistic and ravenous, came from the back of his throat, and one of those large palms rose for a split second before slapping your right cheek, making you squeal and making Wriothesley laugh.
“Careful, Y/N.” He chided, using his palms to massage the abused flesh as an imprint of his hand—ringed fingers and all—slowly began to appear on your ass. “This door may be thick, but this chamber echos. You don’t want the guards and—Gods know who else—hearing you on the other side, do you~?”
You felt your face heat up against the frigid door’s surface, now acutely aware of the silence on the other side, which meant his guards were now undoubtedly listening. Nonetheless, you nodded, casting a shy glance over your shoulder to your lover, who was already gazing up at you with half-lidded eyes and that salacious smirk on his face that just made your knees go weak and your folds gush with arousal.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that though,” He stated nonchalantly, leaning over to press a soft kiss against your ass as sinful digits reached up to peel your already soaked panties down your thighs until they pooled at your ankles. Wriothesley groaned inwardly, his pupils blown, as he used his thumbs to spread you apart in all your glory, admiring how your folds glistened in the dim lights of the lower floor of his office. “*I can’t promise that I’ll be going easy on you either, baby.”
Without saying another word, his hands reached out and took firm hold of both your cheeks, spreading them wide before plunging straight into your dripping folds. Immediately, your knees were buckling beneath you as a pleasured mewl escaped your lips, your nails dragging against the metal surface in an attempt to find purchase. With his hands leaving your ass to wrap around the front of your thighs, his tongue was unrelenting as it ruthlessly claimed every inch of your pussy to himself, drawing you closer to him so he could continue to devour you. His tongue was hot, heavy, and drooling as it spread you wide open, encircling your clit, and slurping up whatever delicious goodness you had to offer. His nose pressed deep into your wetness, drowning in your depths, but he did not seem to care in the slightest. He wanted more—craved more—and one thing about Wriothesley was that he was a man who got what he wanted.
His tongue and ravenous lips wrapped around your tender nub and sucked away like a starving man enjoying the sweetest nectar of life, leaving you a moaning mess above him and unable to stop your hips from moving on their own as you practically fucked yourself against his face. You didn’t care if the guards—or anyone else, for that matter—heard you. All you could focus on was how his sweltering and deft mouth had you practically creaming onto his selfish brims already.
“Wrio~!” You keened, nearly losing your footing had it not been for Wriothesley keeping you firmly in place by his grip. “I-I can’t! I-It’s too much!” You whimpered just as another cry drew from your lips from a jolt of pleasure from your nethers.
In response, you felt another sharp spank rain down on your ass, and Wriothesley finally withdrew, but only so that he could snarl out, “You can and you will. Fucking take it, Y/N.” He was breathless, panting—truly, a man starved in his most primal state.
He pulled away momentarily, strings of your arousal clinging to the lower half of his face, which was glistening in your translucent juices, to turn to your inner thighs. His jaw widened before clamping down harshly on your once supple flesh, biting and sucking the blood to it’s surface to leave furious marks in his wake.
“Wriothesley!” You wept with delight and surprise at the lewd action that made your folds rub together, and you were unable to ignore the disgustingly lewd squelching sound that came from your cunt.
He repeated the same action, this time on your ass cheek, taking the pliant flesh between his teeth and delivering yet another primal bite to your soft skin, effectively marking you. “Shit, Y/N.” His heated breath wafted over your clit, making you clench around nothing as he huffed and panted like a mutt against your thigh, an action that your attentive lover obviously noticed. “The things you do to me . . .~”
Without saying anything more, he plunged back into you, even more intense than before. With his deft fingers reaching around your front and rubbing quick, merciless circles onto your clit, he was aiming at his sole target, your sopping hole. Pushing his tongue in and out of your wetness, he slurped every last drop of your sweet juices onto his tongue. He was milking you like a machine—using your clit as the trigger to release more and more of your translucent fluids onto his tongue, which he rapaciously gluped down. All the while, your toes curled in your shoes, and as every one of his hot, heavy pants exhaled through his nose, you were able to feel it against your pretty asshole.
“Wrio, wrio, baby, please! R-Right there, I-I’m gonna . .” Your hasty pleas were cut off, your hand reaching back to tangle itself into your boyfriend’s smokey locks, holding him in place as you basically rode his tongue.
You felt him chuckling against your folds before you heard him, unable to stop the sharp cry that escaped you from the sudden vibration. His hand left your clit, however, it was soon replaced with his mouth in favor of meeting your hand with his own. He pried your death grip from his locks, intertwining his fingers with your own as his head shook back and forth between your thighs. His lips suckled away at you in such an unforgiving way that it made your head spin and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Anyone within the immediate vicinity could definitely hear the unabashed slurping and squleching sounds emanating from his efforts as they reverberated through his office's chambers.
He took your hand in his and massaged calming circles around your knuckles until you finally came undone in front of him, unable to contain your overwhelming euphoria. A series of cries and mewls left your lips, leaving you breathless as your juices came flooding out of you, drenching your lover’s face and attire in a torrent, which he happily gulped down. Had it not been for his grip on your frame, you most definitely would’ve collapsed, but he held you firmly against him, even using his face to support your weight at one point like your own personal seat—because it was. After all, he was yours just as much as you were his, and he’d be damned if anything tried to change that.
His hurried movements subsided during your high, his tongue now languidly stroking your folds to carry you through your blissful daze; still, you could not control your hips from lurching each time he touched your tender, pulsating nub. Before long, he began to back off, giving you some leverage and giving himself space to finally breathe. His hot breath wafted against your behind, his chest rising and falling with each breath, finally being kind enough to himself to give him the sweet, sweet oxygen his lungs had been begging for.
Slowly, he rose from behind you, your half-lidded gaze meeting his own through the tears that formed on your lash line, which he wiped away with a swipe of his thumb.
“Y’still with me, pretty?” He whispered in a honeyed drawl, placing a soft kiss against your shoulder as the hand that was holding your own moved to your bicep to rub soothing circles along your arm.
You nodded, albeit weakly, still recovering from the mind-shattering orgasm he had just put you through.
“Y’feel better now, Wrio?”
He responded with a hearty chuckle, rolling his neck in a tantilizing way that exposed his throbbing Adam’s apple and scarred throat. His gaze met your own again, this time with a familiar spark burning behind his dusky hues, “Ahh, a’litte bit.”
He leaned over you once again, his forearm resting above your head as his chest pressed against your back. You gasped, your hips jolting as you felt his rock-hard bulge pressing against you, just barely managing to graze your sopping folds.
“Still feeling a little ‘tense’ here . . . but you’d be willing to help me out,” He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. Although you couldn’t see him, you could practically feel the smirk beaming from his stupidly handsome face.
“Right, baby?”
Oh, he was going to be the death of you someday.
ⓒ vampiie 2024 — all rights reserved. please do not repost my work outside of tumblr, modify, or translate my work in any form/means. please do not share my work to tiktok or any other site.
#genshin impact#genshin impact smut#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact headcanons#wriothesley#wriothesley smut#wriothesley x reader#genshin wriothesley#wriothesley headcanons#wriothesley imagines#vampiiebitez
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Helpful Ex- L. Norris
Lando Norris x Ex girlfriend! Reader
Your ex finally comes around to pick up his things but finds you in an interesting situation
Warnings?; SMUT, masturbation(f), coming in pants(m), p I v, unprotected sex(use protection!!!), praising, dirty talk, Lando being a little shit, cursing, fingering, literally porn with a somewhat plot
Lightly proofread, sorry for any errors!
A frustrated cry left your mouth at the unsatisfied feeling, the burning in your stomach was so strong but you couldn’t reach the edge. You’d been trying for weeks to get a release but no matter what you did or tried, nothing helped
The knock at your front door was what caused your hand to fly out of your panties, and the ding coming from your phone made you realize who it was knocking at the door.
“One second!” You yelled, jumping out of bed and throwing on your discarded shorts before making your way towards the front door.
“Hi” you breathed up at the blue eyed man
“Hey, you okay?” He questioned, you two had spent enough time together for him to realize the frustrated look in your eyes.
“Uh yeah, just tired. Come in I’ll grab your box” you smiled opening the door wider for him.
Your relationship with the British driver had lasted a loving three years and came to an agreed ending. With you living in London, he in Monaco, and the constant traveling of his job you both realized you’d became more of friends rather than lovers.
You had broken up about four months ago but due to his constant traveling the Brit had only just gotten around to coming back to London.
When you returned you found him sitting at your kitchen island, snacking on the cookies you had baked the night before.
“These are fucking amazing” he praised with a mouth fool of said cookie.
With a small giggle you thanked him before sitting across from him.
“How’ve you been?” You asked
“Good, The teams been doing pretty well so that’s always nice. How about you? Max said you found yourself a little play thing at the club the other night” he smirked.
You blushed at the boys comment, “that little rat. It Didn’t get very far anyways” you shrugged.
“Yeah why’s that?” He laughed picking up another cookie.
“He uh..he came in his pants” you mumbled
“He what?” Lando crackled.
“Lando it’s not funny! We were you know..making out and next thing I knew he was pushing me off and there was a wet spot on his jeans.”
“It’s not I’m sorry! But it’s not that embarrassing I mean you’ve made me cum in my pants. As long as he finished you off that’s all that matters” he shrugged bringing his cookie up to his lips but the look on your face stopped him.
“He did finish you off right?” He questioned slowly.
“Um,no” you blushed awkwardly
“Your joking right?” He scoffed at the shake of your head.
“I’m sorry he got you all hot and bothered, came in his pants and then ran out?” He clarified.
“Yeah..”
“Oh baby” he laughed standing up and rounding the island to your side.
“S’ not funny Lan” you scolded looking up at him as he towered over your sitting frame.
“Your right I’m sorry honey” he muttered looking down at you with darkening eyes.
“S’ That what was wrong when I got here?” He questioned.
“Wa-what do you mean?” You mumbled hoping he didn’t actually catch on to what you had been doing before he arrived.
“You were touching yourself weren’t you? I seen the frustration in your eyes and the blush covering your face. You’ve been trying to get yourself off since that night haven’t you?” He smirked.
Your head dropped at the boys affirmation, he was one hundred percent correct and you couldn’t deny it. You were a virgin before Lando and through your entire relationship you always had him to get you off. Of course you’d touched yourself when he was away but it was always guided by his voice over the phone.
“Don’t go shy on me now baby, it’s okay. You’re just a spoiled little brat that’s never had to do anything for herself before.” He tutted, slipping a finger under your chin you bring your eyes back on his.
Your thighs clenched at his words, you hadn’t gotten a proper orgasm since the last time he’d gotten you off with his fingers in between your thighs while you sat in the passenger seat of his McLaren.
“Lando..” you whined as his fingers slipped down your run over your thighs.
“You want my help baby? Need me to take care of you?” He asked.
“Yes. Please.” You whimpered.
Your confirmation was all it took for the boy to pick you up and take off down the hall towards your bedroom.
He tossed you onto the soft bed before stripping off his hoodie and shoes and climbing over your body. He leaned down to place a teasing peck onto your lips, lightly nipping at your bottom lip.
Tired of his teasing you slipped your fingers into his soft curls and pulled him down for your lips to meet in a deep kiss. A low groan escaping Lando’s throat at the way you slightly tugged on his roots, he missed the way your fingers felt tangled in his hair.
“Missed you so much baby.” He whispered as he detached his lips from yours, beginning a trail down the column of your throat.
“Me too” you whimpered, head tipping back to allow him more access to your delicate skin.
“Can I take this off?” He questioned as he tugged on the hem of your hoodie, that actually belonged to him.
“Mhm” you nodded, smirking at the growl that came from his mouth when he realized that’s all you were wearing on your top half.
“Gonna kill me one day baby” he groaned laying his head against your bare chest.
You giggled as his bright eyes looked into yours before he leaned over and attached his lips to one of your breasts. A sharp whine breaking from your throat at the sensation of his warm mouth, his hand reaching over and pinching the bud between his fingers.
“God lando” you moaned as he sucked on the bud, his teeth lightly nipping at the skin-Just the way you liked.
He continued his assault on your breasts for a moment before finally pulling away and trailing his lips further down your body till he reached the waistline of your cloth shorts.
He looked up at you for confirmation before pulling the material off your body, you gave him a nod and he quickly pulled them down your soft legs.
“So wet baby” he spoke at the sight of your wet panties, moving them to the side to reveal your puffy clit.
You gasped at the feeling of his thick fingers running through your folds, keeping his touch feather light to tease you.
He slowly worked his middle finger inside you, smirking at the moan that broke free from your mouth as he added his ring finger.
His fingers moved skillfully inside you, moving back and forth with such care that he had you withering and crying out above him. Your fingers gripped the sheets as you called out his name over and over.
He worked you till he couldn’t take it anymore, from the way you moaned his name and how tight you were hugging his fingers. He needed to be inside of you, needed to feel you wrapped around his cock again.
“Why’d you stop” you whined at the feeling of his fingers leaving you.
“Gonna fuck you now baby” He smirked as he came up to place a hot kiss on your lips before removing himself from the bed to take his remaining clothes off.
You sat up on your elbows to watch him strip, he removed his shirt slowly-teasingly. Your thighs rubbed together at the sight of his naked upper half, it was obvious he’d been devoting a bit more time to training. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down to reveal his light gray boxers, a small patch had formed from his precum.
He pulled off his boxers revealing his hard cock, it smacked against his lower stomach.the sight caused your mouth to water, missing the weight of it on your tongue.
He crawled his way back up the bed to rest over you, slotting himself between your thighs as he gripped the shaft of his cock, guiding his length towards you entrance, teasing the tip up and down your folds.
“Fuck, don’t tease lan, please” you begged from below him.
“So polite baby, that’s my good girl” He praised as he thrusted his hips into yours and set a slow pace.
“Oh fuck” you cried at the feeling of him being inside you again.
He locked his lips with yours, one of his hands coming up to rest on the base of your throat giving it a light squeeze.
“Feel so good for me baby, can’t believe someone passed this up. Didn’t know what he was missing out on” he rambled above you.
He gripped your legs, wrapping them around his lower half as he picked up his pace, sounds of slapping skin and moans filling the room.
Your freshly manicured nails ranked down his back as his tip hit the spongy spot inside you, “ahh, god. Feels so good Lan” you cried into his neck.
“Yeah? You miss my cock baby? Miss how I fill you up?” He teased.
“Yes, fuck yes I did. Missed all of you Lando” you admitted to the green eyed man above you.
Your moans became downright pornographic as he moved his thumb in circles on your clit, fingers digging further into his skin as your back arched.
“I’m getting close love” he moaned into your neck, placing wet and sloppy kisses along the skin.
“Me to baby, so close” you cried, fingers moving into his hair to tug at the curly locks.
You could feel the tightness in your lower stomach getting tighter and tighter, as his thumb continued to work your clit and his mouth spewed dirty words at you.
You could feel his thrusts becoming sloppy as his hands dug into the sides of your thighs, no doubt leaving bruises for tomorrow.
“Fuck lan-I’m gonna cum” you cried out below him.
“Go ahead baby, I’ve got you. Come for me like the good girl you are.” He encouraged as he moved your legs up over his shoulders to thrust at a deeper angle.
And that you did, fingers digging into his skin so hard it caused the man to groan out at the feeling. His own moans getting whiny and whinier as he got closer to his own high.
“Cum for me Lando” you encouraged into the Brits ear.
“Fuck, I’m coming” he cried as he pushed out one more hard thrust and stilled as he spilled inside of you.
He collapsed on top of you once he came down from his high, your hand slipped into his curls as you placed light kisses to his head.
His own lips ran along your collarbone as he nuzzled into you, he always became quite the clinger after sex.
You both laid there for a moment before he pulled his head from your chest and looked up at you with a soft look in his eyes.
“Hi” you smiled at him.
“Hi darling” he smiled back warmly as he reached up the brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Can I spend the night?” He asked quietly.
“You can stay for as long as you’d like” you replied before leaning down and giving him a sweet kiss.
-
#lando norris#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#f1 smut#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#formula 1
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What about spencer with a reader who is normally so independent and does everything for herself but she’s so soft for spencer and lets him dote on her and take care of her and the team is like :o bc they can’t believe she is letting someone do things for her
"I'm not a tyrant," Spencer's voice is inexhaustibly patient, and his fingers are slightly awkward as he holds them around his phone, angling it awkwardly so that you can see his upper half on face-time while he sits at his desk, "I just want you to take your medicine so that you can get better."
"I am better," You insist, your voice a far cry from its usual drawl. It's more ragged and weak, and you definitely have a stuffy nose, which indicates how untruthful your words are. Everyone knows it, most of the bullpen can hear your insistent griping, and they're beginning to feel bad for Spencer. They can't imagine how he'd gotten you to stay home today, but they're shooting each other knowing grins each time you push back against his gentle insistence.
"No, angel, you're not." Spencer croons, "You're on the mend, but you're not recovered yet. And you'll get worse if you don't take your meds. I put them on the nightstand for you, and some water. All you have to do is take them, and go back to sleep."
"I don't want to sleep!" You insist, and it's a whine- a whine! Emily's mouth splits in an incredulous grin, and a laugh threatens to tremble Derek's broad shoulders at how juvenile your attempts at protest have become. They're used to your biting words, your forceful demeanor, your inability to surrender any control, but Spencer's got you tucked into the covers begging for a kiss on the forehead.
"I've been sleeping all day, and I slept all day yesterday, and the day before that. I'm tired of sleeping. Just let me fill out some paperwork! Anything, Spence, please."
He chews on the inside of his cheek, ignoring the way that JJ giggles suspiciously with Penelope, who's leaning against the side of her desk, drawn out of her office for the spectacle.
"You can read," He relents, "And you can watch tv but only if you do it on your computer with the night light setting turned on," He narrows his eyes, taking on your rather rough persona to ensure that his orders are obeyed, "Promise?"
"Promise," You rasp, and the team can hear the smile in your voice, "Thanks, Spencer."
"Use the night light setting," He warns instead of accepting your thanks, "I'll check later to see if it's turned on!"
"Okay!" You laugh, and Spencer winces lightly as the sound morphs into a thick cough, "Okay, I'll- ah, I'll see you later, baby."
"See you later," He concedes with a fond smile, waving in addition to his verbal goodbyes, "Love you."
"Love you too," You promise, then end the call. Spencer feels the weight of everyone else's stares on him as he sets his seldom-used phone down and resumes working, refusing to acknowledge them unless they prod at him first.
"Good job, Spence," JJ congratulates, "I didn't think she'd ever take a sick day."
"I know," Emily gushes with bright eyes and a wild smile, "If I tried to tuck her in she'd probably bite me."
"Well, that's 'cause you don't have Pretty Boy's charm," Derek cracks, though the smile that he flashes Prentiss is reassurance that he's teasing Spencer more than he's teasing her, "Congrats on wearing the pants today, Reid. Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause as soon as she's out of bed, she's taking the wheel again."
Spencer takes great pleasure in levelling Derek with a meaningful, "Shut up," because he's more than happy to be your passenger princess any day.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one-shot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid headcanons#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid hc#spencer reid hcs#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid dialogue#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fanfiction
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smut because somehow i always end up there.
yknow something that pushy ass cbf!johnny would do?
tell you that he'd get more benefits and/or pay if he had a spouse.
"Because you're in absolute poverty, Johnny."
He clicks his tongue. "Be serious, hen."
You are being serious. Johnny's not hurting for cash. His parents are still alive, so he has no need to buy a place of his own, and even then, he just swings by his family's home before coming back to stay with you until leave's over. Honestly, you should be charging him rent.
"Johnny. Unless you're planning on buying another ostentatious vehicle with tires too big for this tiny town, I'm not seeing what you're seeing."
He digs his thumb into the arch of your foot that's draped over his lap. "But think o' the possibilities! If say, you married me, ye wouldn't need to work anymore. Jus' worked on gettin' the job of yer dreams! An' besides, ah'd never realistically settle down anyway; too busy savin' the world an' all."
The extra income must be drastic if he's this insistent. "Why not marry the big brit with the skull for a face? You talk about him enough to sound like you've got a hard on for him."
He avoids your gaze when he informs you that Ghost is already married.
"And what about me? What if I find a boyfriend or something?" you playfully teased. Johnny's bright blue eyes turned to ice.
"Is there someone?" A muscle worked in his jaw.
Dread crawled up your spine. Abort. Abort. "Of course not." The tension melted from his face— gaze gentling and lips softening.
Christ, can he be intense sometimes.
You clear your throat. "Say I do marry you. What do you get out of this as my benefactor? Math isn't mathing, Johnny."
His lips curl upwards in amusement. "Nothin' between us would change. Jus' get a nice, shiny band on my hand tha' keeps unwanted advances off of me, and I wouldn't have to live on base anymore. Tired of eatin' tha' slop at dfac."
Johnny's long fingers curl around your ankle, thumb drawing gentle circles on the bone. "C'mon, hen. Think about your career! Marry me and ye won't even have t'change yer last name, swear."
Once again, fooled by the pretty face and dazzling smile.
You were a MacTavish by the end of the month, and he'd ended up in your bed that same night. Pushed your face into the soft mattress as he bullied his cock into you, telling you to feel how he splits his little wife's pussy open.
Mottled the delicate skin of your neck and collarbone with purple love bites when he hooked your knees over his shoulders, forcing you to take all of him in that devastating angle.
Made you look at yourself in the mirror in the bathroom, one hand gripping your neck, and the other on your swollen cunt, rubbing tight circles on your slippery clit. "Look at how beautiful y'are. How good yer takin' me." He tilts your head upwards, locking eyes with you. "This cunt was made f'me, wasn't it, wife?" he rumbles.
If he said anything else, it was promptly drowned out by a buzzing in your ears as your world went white. Warmth trickled down your legs as pleasure burst through you, spasm after gut-twisting spasm. Johnny blessedly slows down, working you through it tenderly, until you hiss in discomfort from oversensitivity.
"The way ye look in yer pleasure is somethin' i'll see behind my eyelids forever, bonnie."
Heat licks up the sides of your jaw. "Johnny, please—" you cut off, a moan tumbling out of your lips when he presses himself flush against your arse.
"Dinnae worry, ah'm not done with ye jus' yet." There's a hand in between your shoulder blades, pushing down gently. "Bend over, hands behind yer back, Mrs. MacTavish."
ghost is in fact, not married.
and the pay raise is mediocre.
#call of duty#johnny soap mactavish#cod mw2#cod mwii#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish smut#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader
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Squirting headcanons with the blue lock boys? Pretty please?
a/n: hi nonnie! thank you for sending this in. i’m so sorry it took me this long to finally get to this, but i appreciate you sending this! i hope you enjoy <3.
characters: isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, kunigami rensuke, nagi seishiro
warnings: established relationships, nsfw, squirting, fingering (kunigami), oral sex f!receiving (bachira), use of pet names (baby, princess), overstimulation, multiple orgasms.
SQUIRTING HEADCANONS.
isagi yoichi:
you and isagi had been having sex for quite a while. it was after your anniversary date, so you decided to indulge in some of your personal fun to end the evening.
isagi’s thrusts were quite erratic. he had this brutal assault against your cunt and he was making your vision blurry from simply just rutting his hips into you. he was determined to give you the absolute best treatment that night, and he was doing just that. he had your legs over his shoulders with his dick filling your pussy. your orgasm was making itself known in your belly, but something felt different in your gut this time. it wasn’t something familiar to you and part of you worried that something was going to happen.
you practically were warning isagi about what was happening, but he wasn’t halting. he kept going and going. he wanted to make you cum so bad and his own selfish desire was taking over him. what he wasn’t expecting was after his final thrust into you was this gush of fluid coming from your pussy. it covered the sheets and his cock, shocking both him and you. this was the first time you had ever squirted on him and you were somewhat embarrassed at first, but isagi thought it was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen. his dick got hard all over again when he watched what happened before him.
“fuck.. don’t even be embarrassed, baby, i wanna see you do that again..”
bachira meguru:
you and bachira had been having sex for so long, you forgot how many orgasms you had the entire night. he had just returned home from a very long soccer match and all he wanted was to bathe in your embrace, but one thing led to another, and he pounced on you like a wild animal.
bachira had you in all kinds of positions. he practically almost folded you in half when he was making you cum for the third time. he was making you go crazy. your pussy was so tired and sore and there was a huge mess on his cock, but he didn’t show any sign of stopping. he could feel another climax coming from you since your cunt was practically closing in on him again, so he decided last minute to use something else on you. his pretty mouth that you swore hands down was from a god itself.
bachira pulled out of your dripping hole, leaning down and spreading your thighs apart to get a great taste. he lapped up your juices and latched his mouth into your sensitive folds. his tongue was so warm and he kept licking at your bud, making you shove your hands into his hair. you couldn’t stop the cries that slipped from your lips every time he went at it, and you were so fucking close to reaching that delicious high. there was something foreign about it, though. you somewhat blamed it on the overstimulation, but it was hurdling towards you so quickly you barely had time to react when you squirted all over his mouth and his face. your jaw was practically on the floor and bachira seemed just as surprised, but he couldn’t hide the smirk that appeared on his face. he always wanted to make you squirt.
“hehe.. took me some time, but i finally got you to do it, baby.”
kunigami rensuke:
kunigami is a big guy, so you already know that those fingers are also pretty big. he’s fingered you many times before and he’s made you feel full that way, even without his cock.
the two of you were watching a movie. you were lying beside your boyfriend and his hands started to explore you in a teasing manner. you knew him very well, so you already knew what he wanted from you. his fingers began to play with your clit, swirling it around to the point where you were soaked. he sunk two of his digits into your dripping hole, making any mention of the movie in front of you disappear the moment he started pumping into you. his fingers were so thick and nice you couldn’t hold back and started crying his name like it was a prayer. he was so good at it. it took your breath away every time he curled upwards to find that spot inside of you.
he had your thighs wide open, leaning in to kiss you every so often while he fingered you. he was reaching all of those nice areas inside of you and you knew you were getting close. your body language explained it all and kunigami was so damn excited to see how hard you were going to cum for him. you were scratching at his wrist, whining like a bitch in heat for him. then, after practically dirty talking you the entire time, you reached your high. he was surprised to see that you started squirting all over his wrist, leaving it all over the sheets. you were at a loss for words, but you were too fucked out to care.
“why don’t we do that again, baby? how about on my cock this time.. yeah?”
nagi seishiro:
after returning home from a long day, nagi wanted nothing more than to be by your side, but when he smelled how great your perfume was he had gotten harder than a rock. he missed you so much.
nagi lost count of how many times he had made you cum. you and him were both sweating and your bodies were practically sticky from it. he could care less, though. all he cared about was making you feel good, and that’s exactly what he was doing. you were a mess underneath him with his cock buried inside your sweet pussy. nagi only yearned to make you cum even more, and with your cunt slowly closing around him, he knew he was going to make that possible.
you were so overstimulated. your body was screaming for some type of relief but it was just too good to stop. your thighs were trembling and you couldn’t stop blabbing for more from your boyfriend. nagi thought it was so cute to see you in such a manner. he only kept up that rough pace he had and it excited him that you were once again reaching another orgasm. he was whispering dirty things in your ear, toying with your puffy clit to only make it more exciting for you. nagi kept going until he felt a huge gush of something on his abdomen and his groin. he saw you shaking while you squirted all over the bed. he honestly couldn’t believe his eyes that it had just happened, but he wanted to see you do it over and over again. it was such a turn on for him.
“oh? so that’s what you can do? heh, let’s try it again, princess..”
#blue lock#blue lock smut#blue lock x reader#blue lock fanfiction#blue lock headcanons#bllk x reader#bllk smut#bllk headcanons#isagi yoichi x reader#isagi yoichi smut#isagi smut#isagi x reader#bachira meguru x reader#bachira meguru smut#bachira smut#bachira x reader#kunigami rensuke x reader#kunigami rensuke smut#kunigami smut#kunigami x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro smut#nagi smut#nagi x reader#anime fanfiction#anime headcanons
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Simon Riley whose favourite hair was always yours.
The first time he touched your hair, you were both deployed. You were walking before him, your hair in a braid behind your head that was almost hypnotizing. You stick your head from behind a wall, and Simon pulls your braid the moment he hears gunshots to keep you away from the fire line. A whine escapes your lips that sounds almost like a kicked dog and you quickly look back to him. "Thank you, Lt." You mutter.
And in that moment, with your hair still in his hand, he knew he was in trouble.
Your hair doesn't glow in the dark, yet it always draws his attention. Like a lifesaver floating in an ocean. He quickly learns that he can't wait to touch it again, so he observes and waits for a chance to do so.
Like when you were rewriting a report on the mess hall, Price told you it was illegible and taking in consideration Price's handwriting you took it to heart. So there you were, writing again the pages with your best handwriting.
A lock of hair in the middle of your face had Simon almost sprinting to you to move it out of your face before you could it yourself. Of course he didn't say anything romantic, instead he said: "You are gonna go blind like that, and you are supposed to watch my back out there."
It wasn't romantic on its own, but his hand remained caressing the hair now behind your ear and when you looked up to meet his gaze, the both of you pulled away from each other as if you had been hit. "That line is dropping, start it again." He comments. "Yes, Lt."
On another occasion, you got late to practice, overslept. Obviously by your bed hair, not even time to brush it. Price quickly told you to fix it and Simon seriously considered if the insubordination would be worth it, because he would rip both his arms off if he could wake up everyday with that sight.
It was at that point that Simon realized he was doomed, because he had not been slowly pulled to you, he fell face first and being honest to himself, he was happy with it. He wouldn't admit it yet, it was easier to believe he only liked your hair.
And as time went on, it became more and more easy to find excuses to touch it.
Like when you got sick that one time, waking in the middle of the night to empty your stomach on the toilet. And it went on until the morning, when he found you sitting on the bathroom floor, too weak to walk back to your room.
Face wet with tears for not being able to stop throwing up, for being tired and for feeling useless. He quickly crouched down, paper towel in hand to clean your face. "Why are you here?" He softly asked, mask hiding his expression but his eyes gave away his emotions.
"I got sick." You mumbled, voice hoarse with the strain of the night.
"That I can tell, love." The nickname caught the both of you by surprise, but neither complained. "Let's get you to bed."
You nod, grabbing his hand to stand up, before another round of nausea hit forcing you to back down to throw up again. He quickly moved your hair out of the way grabbing it at the back of your head. "You are gonna get sick, Ghost. Leave me alone, I'm fine."
"Number one, I'm pretty sure your dinner from last night it's on my hand, so I believe we are past nicknames now." He says, being interrupted before being able to say the second thing.
"Don't touch my hair with puke on your hand!" You say grabbing his wrist, making him chuckle. You barely had energy to pull your head up and still tried to fight him.
"I would never, love. That's the other hand." He said looking as you wiped your mouth, breath getting knock out of him when you lock your gaze on his. "What is it?" You asked, confusing him. "Your name."
"Simon."
"Simon?"
"Simon Riley."
A beat of silence simmered on the bathroom for a second.
"That's a surprisingly sweet name, Simon."
And if the world had ended at that moment, Simon would have died a happy man.
But he didn't, instead he eased his way into your heart.
It wasn't hard, and soon enough Simon didn't need excuses to touch your hair. And touching your hair was the excuse to get you closer to him.
Like when he was dying to kiss your lips, but you wouldn't look up to him. Why wouldn't you look at him? Couldn't you tell it was killing him? So he fisted your hair, pulling back slightly; enough to make you look up but not enough to sting. And when his eyes met yours, he dived right into your lips. Moving his hands to cup your face instead of hair, needing to feel the warmth of your skin. The kiss pulling the air from his lung but still making him feel more alive than ever.
Or like when you finally had the time and intimacy to make love. And when he had you on his bed, knees apart and face buried on his pillow, he fisted your hair again, pulling your head back, because he needed to hear you moan his name while he filled you to the brim. Simon Riley was not a saint, but he would go through the hell his life has been again if it meant he got to experience this. Your cunt milking his dick, your smaller hand grabbing the wrist of his hand on your hip, your moans filling the room and when you looked back to him over your shoulder, his life got meaning and he kissed your lips.
Or like when you would cuddle, and he would do tiny braids on your hair he would forget to undo or tell you about and you would find out hours later when you would try to brush your hair and end up with massive knots. Walking to him ready to throw the brush at his head and you would find him hugging your pillow on his sleep, completely relax and content with himself.
Or like when years later, he brushed the hair sticking to your forehead by the sweat while you pushed his daughter to life. If he could take the pain away he would, but he knew you were the strongest woman in this world and could do it. He also knew you needed his comfort, so he moved his hand from your hair to grab your hand even if you crushed every bone inside.
Your hair was always his favourite, until your daughter was born. Because she had Simon's eyes, but she had your hair. And your hair was beautiful, but his little girl's hair was the proof of the love between Simon and you.
Simon Riley loved your hair, but he loved you more.
Masterlist
Hii🩷
Accept this as an apology for the pain from Inmortal!Simon, hope that you guys like it ♥️♥️
Also I barely proof read it, so if there are any misspelled words, no there isn't ♥️🫡
If there is anything that you would like me to write my inbox is always open for request and asks ♥️
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#call of duty#ghost#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod x reader#cod#ghost cod#simon riley imagine#cod smut#ghost smut#call of duty x reader#cod modern warfare#simon imagine#ghost imagine#simon ghost imagine
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Been thinking about this scenario a lot, but ex-husband! Toji, where you two are pretty chill with each other, even after five years of divorce. But the feelings between you two start to parade back after all these years, and it all comes boiling over after spending one night together.
A/n: Been a while since I've done one of these scenario thingies, plus this idea has been rotting my mind for a long time, and I needed it to get out, lol. I pushed back my Gojo fic to tmrw or Thursday because my brain was not feeling like re-reading 3-4k words while running on one hour of sleep. So, instead, we're dropping this in its stead. Sorry about that, and hope you like this while I fix the fic up later today :) Any grammar/spelling errors on this will be dealt with tmrw.
Cw: ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader - implied that reader is entering their mid 30s - starts out cute the first half but smutty the next, so minors DNI - implied that Tsumiki and Megumi are around middle school age; 12 (T) and 11 (M) - pining; Toji is whipped for you, I fear - Daddy kink - prone bone position + mating press - pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweetie, mama, princess) - cervix fucking - praise - itty-bitty-tiny overstimulation - closure; happy ending (?).
Wc: 3.4k (wow, way longer than the last one, lol)
Ex-husband! Toji...
...who you've divorced after being together for four years. It was a marriage built on love, convenience, and heartache. There is no denying that Toji loved you very much; if anything, the man would set the world ablaze if anything were to happen to you. Especially when you were the sweetest thing that blessed his presence and his two children who were young at the time — Tsumiki and Megumi at age three. The fact that you loved him as much as he loved you is beyond doubt in Toji's mind. However, somewhere down the line, you felt a "shadow" that you could not surpass nor fill — the late wife of Toji.
You could tell that Toji still had a piece of him that just couldn't let the memory of his late wife go, and you understood that. Hence why you chose to leave him, which was glum for all parties, but Toji understood where you were coming from and signed the papers.
...who's still chill with you after the divorce. You two promised not to act like complete strangers, especially with Tsumiki and Megumi being close to you. Just because the ring isn't on your finger doesn't mean you must change completely. The two of you are comfortable enough to be in each other's company, taking turns watching over the kids and acting like you're still married by poking fun at one another like the good days.
"Hey, big guy," Toji turns to the kitchen hallway where you're looking at him, his usual black coffee in his mug still sheltered in your apartment cupboards. "You look like shit; too tired to go to the clubs to find some minx to wow you enough like you used to?"
He snickers at your brazenness. "Shut up, brat. I could ask the same fr' you. Got some good dick on the side to help that attitude of yours, baby?" After checking around to see if the kids are nearby, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles before sipping his coffee.
...whose kids adore and love you so much that they secretly try to have you and Toji in the same place, which the two of you are entirely aware of. Five years passed after your separation, though that doesn't hinder the children from wanting you back in their lives again. Because to them, you are always a Fushiguro, and the love for you will always be there. It's there when you go to Tsumiki's soccer games and drag your ex-husband to find a better seat on the bleachers to watch her play. It's there when Megumi tells his father he "accidentally" left his baseball bat at your place and "unfortunately" now has to spend the night there (and you always receive them). And it's there when you promise to come along on family trips, like going to the zoo and taking pictures by the Panda enclosure with his daughter or going to the aquarium and listening intently to his son explain all the different types of jellyfish.
Toji can't blame his own kin for being attached to you because you are still a mother in their eyes. And so to his.
...who has his wedding ring on his dog-tag necklace but always tucks it under his shirt whenever you're present. It gives him a peace of mind when it comes to you because if he can't be there for you 24/7, he knows you're under his protection whenever you need it. But the thought of you knowing he still wears it makes him anxious, worried that you'll take it the wrong way and request he never wears it again. So, for his sake, he keeps you blind to this secret. And he wonders if you ever wear yours...
...who welcomes you without hesitation when you have to spend the night at his place because he notices you're too exhausted to go home so late. The only problem is that there's no other room outside the kids and Toji's. And as much you protest, expressing your satisfaction with taking the couch, your ex-husband disagrees and will carry you to bed, sneering to himself as you try to wiggle out of his stronghold until he smacks the bedroom door closed with his leg.
"I told you I was fine sleeping on the couch, Toji." You complain to him, yet your back is pressed against his chest with his arm around your waist.
"And I told you not gonna happen, princess." his hold around you gets tighter, pulling you closer for him to rest his chin on your shoulder. "You'd probably fall off and smack that pretty face of y'rs on the floor."
"I would not—You know what," you stooped from saying anything further to the man grinning behind your ear. You shift a bit to make yourself comfortable. "Goodnight, Toji. And thank you."
It takes every fiber in his being to not kiss your cheek then and there. Exhaling softly through his nostrils as he lays his head back on the pillow. "No problem, sweetheart."
...who the last time he had someone after your separation was not feeling it at all. You even said he is free to do whatever he wants when moving on to the next minx that caught his attention. You two are adults and shouldn't feel entitled to putting each other on a leash. Despite that, he knew moving on from you wouldn't be easy — especially in the bedroom.
The women he's had after you can only be counted on one hand. No matter how good the fun was with the others, his mind would always crawl back to you. It didn't matter how different their hair was, what they dressed that night, or how fucking good the sex was; you would cloud his mind in some way. They weren't you. They weren't his sweet thing.
...who's extremely perplexed in a nightclub when he sees you. He didn't want to go in the first place until Satoru Gojo barged into his apartment, dragged him out in his best attire, and left Nanami (another victim of Gojo's foolishness) to babysit Megumi and Tsumiki. And it was bad enough that Gojo snaked away from Toji to the dance floor the second they got inside, the raven-haired man almost popping a vein in vexation.
So the older man resorts to just doing the usual gig: walking around before sitting at the bar to ask for a regular beer. He stays there for nearly half an hour, taking sips of his bottle while sweet-talking to the ladies that occasionally find him and give him his number. Things got really loud when the DJ at the discothèque played "Up!" by Lil Vada and DonnySolo, all the party people crowding the floor, bumping and grinding each other while singing the lyrics. It was at this point that Toji had enough of the massive headache growing in his head, so he was about to down his beer and leave the club; Gojo be damned because the fucker could find his own way home and then some.
But midway through putting the beer bottle on his scarred lips, something in Toji's peripheral captures his attention. And his jade eyes go wide at what he sees.
Down to the right side of the dance floor are booths catered to bigger parties, so it's obvious to notice when a single person sits alone on one of the round tables while everyone else is dancing their hearts out. That one person was you, observing the dance floor with your head on your hand resting on the table.
To say that Toji was flabbergasted by the image of you in a place like this after all these years was tough for him to comprehend. Yet what really had him in a chokehold was how stunning you were. From where he stood, he could tell that you dolled yourself quite a bit. Your hair was kept in a style that displayed your face wholly, and you were wearing a beautiful halter-neck dress with slits revealing your thighs deliciously.
He forgets how to breathe when your eyes drift in his direction and find him. You're just as surprised as he is for a short moment, but you offer him a familiar smile and beckon him to come to your side of the club. The older man wastes no time, paying the bartender and making his way through the crowd to your table. When he's close enough, he can tell that your dress is backless, exposing your smooth skin that calls for him to touch.
And when Toji notices the ring on your left hand — the old wedding ring he gifted you — the world around him comes to a complete standstill.
"Hey, big guy." He snaps back to look at your beautiful face, your smile still there to blind him, and the booth far from the dance floor and music so he can listen to your sweet voice. You move to the side to make room for him to sit. "Didn't think I'd find you here."
"Me neither." He admits to you as he takes a seat, his green orbs never leaving your figure. "What are you doin' here?"
"Some friends dragged me out here for one of their birthdays. I figured I'd be here for a few hours and loosen up a bit, you know? But I don't know, I guess I'm just so used to being at my place that I'm out of practice with clubs."
Toji nods at your answer. "Yeah, I was dragged here, too. I'm with—"
"Gojo? Yeah, I thought so. He's right there dancing with my friends." He pans around to the dance floor to see commotion at the center. The snow-haired man was dancing as a crowd formed around him, getting grinded on by a woman with a "happy birthday" headband.
Gojo notices the raven-headed man staring his way, pulls down his shades, and winks. That's when the reason why Toji was brought here in the first place hits him. Gojo knew you would be here tonight because of your friend's birthday. And now that you two are sitting alone, the wink signaled Toji to make his move.
"....Wanna get the hell outta here?"
You giggle at his suggestion. "Yeah, I don't feel like watching my friends get pregnant on the dance floor."
Toji snickers and grabs your hand to lead you out of the booth. He then drapes his denim jacket over your shoulders to cover your exposed shoulders and back, and the two of you leave the club without anyone noticing a thing.
...who spends the rest of the night with you as if you two are on a date again. It's late, so many shops around the area are closed already, but that doesn't stop the two of you from having fun. From sharing a meal at a nearby diner, walking around a shopping plaza admiring the silent ambiance, and listening to old tunes in his car as you two share stuff about your day while holding hands. And the change of mood completely baffles Toji. Nevertheless, when he sees the smile on your face and hears the sweet tune of your laughter, the grasp on your hand gets tighter with every minute. All his intentions go into enjoying having you with him like this again.
...who stays by your side until he has to drop you off at your place, parked his car to walk you to your apartment door. It's 1 o'clock in the morning, way later than Toji ever intended to stay out. Not that it matters now, because it's all worth it being able to walk with you. He doesn't let go of your hand even when his heart dies a little when you two arrive at your door.
"Had a good time?" You ask while unlocking the door; your eyes showcase subtle exhaustion but are overshadowed by your smile.
"Sure as hell did since I saw you at the club." He confesses, your chuckles casting a spell on him.
"Hmm, I'm glad you were there too, Toji." You meant those words, your eyes gazing into his, and the man's plunged deep into your gorgeous orbs. A feeling that he now realizes he wants to be the only one experiencing with you.
An awkward silence for a few seconds prompts you to snatch your hand away from his, causing his stomach to drop. "Sorry, your jacket" is what you use to excuse yourself, moving to take off the denim jacket. But Toji stops you, his hands stationed on your shoulders to keep you still.
"No, it's cold, sweetie." His voice is hushed, only for you to hear. "You can give it back next time."
Silence comes back again, but the air is heavier this time. The awkwardness is replaced with something more solicitous, more affectionate. You notice it when Toji has yet removed his hands from your shoulders, his large palms warming you up to the touch.
"Toji—"
"It's alright, baby." His gruff tone is still a whisper, and butterflies flutter in your stomach. "I won't do anythin'."
"No, no," you don't know what came over you, but you place your hands on his chest. Then your finger touches something from underneath his turtleneck, having you pull his collar down to pull out the dog-tag necklace that still harbors his old wedding ring. Toji's blood shifts to ice cold when you see the accessory — his anxiousness spikes up to an all-time high, only mere seconds from combusting based on whatever your response will be. And it comes.
"I...I want you to do something, Toji." It felt strange saying those words with your shaky confidence, though it's what you wished to express. "I want you..."
And just like that, whatever restraint that the older man had for you was butchered away. Emerald eyes take in every feature of your anticipating expression, and his lips come crashing down on yours.
...who couldn't care less how late it is right now because he finally has you where he wants you after all these years. It's 2:30 in the morning, way too late for loud noises as they'll disrupt the neighbors next door. But, again, Toji doesn't care about that. When he finally has you lying under him on your stomach, screaming out his name while he drives his cock deep inside you, what is there to care about?
The two of you are in the prone bone position, where you lie flat on your belly on the cream-white satin sheets of your bed, your legs in between Toji's and bare ass out for him to have easy access to your creamy cunt that hugs onto him all so well.
Tears paint your wet and sweaty face, drool escapes from the corner of your mouth and meets the sheets beneath you. The harsh thrusts of Toji's pelvis hitting your ass with such precision have you see stars, and his big hands keep your arms still. All you can hear are the ecstatic cries of your voice and the noises of skin smacking together.
"Nnmph!! Haaaah!! Ahhhh, yesssss, Daddy, just like that," your voice feels strained from all the screaming you've been doing for the past hour. Lips are swollen from the constant biting, your butt stinging from the intense contact with your ex-husband's pelvis. It's hard to think of anything but the man above you and his dick rearranging your slit like his personal toy. You never thought you'd experience this exhilarating and rewarding sensation again. And now that you do, it's all you want to indulge in. "H-Harder, pleaseeee, I want mo—Ahhhnnn!"
Toji grinds his hips down to your ass, churning your insides and grazing your cervix to the point of incoherent babbles. "Mmmm, oooh, shit, fuckin' shit. You're too tight on me, mama." He gives you a sharp thrust when you least expect it, and the walls of your chasm clamping down on his length has him hiss. It's hard to believe you're permitting him to have you like this. It's been five years. Five years of respectful boundaries and keeping a platonic relationship. Five years of denying feelings of want and desire. All those years of heavy guilt suddenly lifted from his shoulders just for him to have you under his bow again, your body quivering and voice shaky because of his touch.
It feels so surreal...But, God, Toji missed this so goddamn much. Missing your eyes, your smile, your touch, your body. Just you. Only you. "Hnnngh!! Damn, you feel so fuckin' good, baby. Can never have enough..."
"Mnnaaaah! Daddy, I'm gonna cummm, I'm gonna—Oooohh!!" The tip of his shaft scrapes the upper walls of your vagina, your brain pounding so hard to the point it hurts. "Pleaseee, let me cum, Daddyyy..."
He can tell you're close and senses your orgasm climbing up with his. That's when the pace of his hips goes erratically fast, jabbing your sweet spots and tender cervix, causing more tears to come down and your peak to finally release for the third time that night. As you cream on his cock, Toji's not too far from his own crescendo. Your velvety walls contract around his member divinely, and the older man spills his load into your quivering figure.
You're allowed to experience the aftershocks of your orgasm as you two let your bodies calm down, Toji laying his chest on your sweaty, heaving back. He then slowly removes his dick from your chasm, and the essence of your unioned sex feels cold while sliding down your inner thighs.
"Haaaaah...Mmmm, thank you, Toji." You whimper out as he lays kisses down your neck and shoulders. "Thank you..."
But little did you know that it wasn't the last of it. Before you could apprehend what was going on, Toji already had you flipped over to your back, stationing your legs on his shoulders to a mating press. And you see that his cock is not limp yet...
W-Wait a damn second—
"T-Toji, wait, hold on!" You try to rationalize with the man who aligns his shaft to your gushing vulva, and your sweat runs cold. "It's getting late. I just came three times already! We should—Nmmmph!!"
The head of his cock slides right in thanks to the slick and come lubricating your opening. Adding his weight onto you as he pushes his length deep into your chasm again, you cry choked sobs when he meets your cervix again, and his pelvis rubs against your clitoris. "Sorry, mama. Just lemme finish here, 'kay? Daddy missed havin' you like this, so I wanna give you all of me while I still can."
...who has your fatigued self lying on his chest, rubbing circles on your back and placing soft kisses on your forehead as you feel the effects of sleep slowly creep up on you. The lights are now off, the moonlight bargaining from the curtains being the only light source as you two are ready to gather whatever amount of sleep you can get.
"Hey, baby." But before that, Toji wants your attention for the last time before you sleep.
"Mhmm?" Your eyes are closed, but your ears are still open to listen.
His eyes drift down to the left hand that lays motionless on his chest. The gem on the ring flashes softly for it to be distinguishable. "How come you were wearin' your ring at the club?"
A few seconds go by before you give him the honest truth. "Same reason you wear yours. I always wear it when going out somewhere or alone someplace. Gives people the idea that I'm not ready for anyone else."
"Then why not wear it when I'm around?"
You giggle breathlessly. "Same reason why you don't let me see yours. I don't need a ring when I have you with me. A ring doesn't compare to my big man who will love and protect me wherever we go."
And Toji doesn't ask anything else after that. He lets you fall asleep in his arms and listens to your breathing follow a melodic rhythm. Your words stick with him even when his eyes close, and he soon falls into a deep sleep.
It's far-fetched to think that you two will be married again. Maybe it's possible in his dreams, but not in the real world. Regardless, Toji knows he will always stand beside you and be there for you. With or without a ring that's merely evidence of your love to outsiders. He knows you love him, and that's all he needs to keep moving. And if he could have you as his wife again, he'd sweep you off your feet in a heartbeat.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑺𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔#Hoshi ✩ writes: imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk thirsts#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji smut#toji x reader#toji fic#toji x y/n#toji headcanons#fushiguro toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji smut
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Hypnotize Me
Summary: You and the gang investigate a hotel haunted by a demon that influences people in ways none of you experienced before, making it the final push for Colby to solidify the relationship he always wanted with you.
Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, MFM (no Solby) threesome, unprotected sex, overstimulation, love bites, squirting, messy sex
Words: 7.6k
No Y/N Used
Title is from ‘Hypnosis’ by Sleep Token
I was so damn tired.
The backpack met the thin floor with a thud that hung in the air. My eyes were too heavy to open fully, and maybe I led us all into the most haunted room—of course the largest suite as well—in the hotel, but I really couldn't care less.
“Oh—Wait this is actually nice,” Colby spoke first between the five of us. He brushed past me and walked into the room to our left.
”Wow it actually is,” I think Nate said as he rounded the corner. I don’t think my toes lifted off the roughened carpet as I dragged myself through the unrealistically large suite to find the bedroom. When I found it, I audibly moaned in relief.
”Holy shit! Maybe we didn’t need the second room, this bed is probably big enough to fit all of us.” Sam must have followed me with the camera but I ignored him as I face planted into the ivory linen sheets. They covered my peripherals, and my eyes rolled back in the suffocating darkness.
It was worth not checking for stains or bed bugs first.
Then there was a loud scuffle.
“Ah—! Jesus, I almost met god because of your backpack in the middle of the floor.” I huffed a breath in response; Colby must have tossed the backpack to the side of the bed but I didn’t flinch from the reverberation. Didn’t care that my laptop was in there at all.
Maybe I needed a shower; after two sleepless nights in a cold dangerous area proceeding a haunted hot as hell area, a shower and a dreamless night in the deepest cavern of this bed was first on my priority list.
Of course the boys had different plans. We were in the middle of our third video of the week. Thank god it was the last as well.
Between infiltrating an abandoned building outside of Portland to talking to whatever lurks in the woods of a small town somewhere in Texas, I was beat. Road kill, some would say, and dare I say I looked like it too. My hair was a mess and my nose was still red from the cold wind in the north but my neck was caked with old sweat from the humid heat of the faux winter in Texas. At least I could hear it in all of their voices too; this quickly became a midnight hunt rather than an afternoon hunt. If only we could get through this damn intro.
”—here she is, she's uh well—tired.” I lifted my head up slowly and looked up to see the camera and Sam’s tired eyes smiling down at me. “Don’t blame her; at least we all feel the way she looks.”
I flipped him off before he turned the camera towards himself.
”That was mean,” he laughed. I stuffed my face back in the now damp with sweat and hot breath duvet. “But fair. We’re going to rest this afternoon and after dinner, we have a meeting with one of the most skilled demonologists we’ve ever met.”
”Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’ve met one in every country we’ve filmed in,” Colby tagged on as I heard him approach Sam.
”Pretty soon we’ll be able to say we’ve met every demonologist—“
I don’t remember what the ending of Sam’s sentence entailed.
My eyes opened.
The room was dark besides the ambient orange light from the lamp beside the head of the bed. The curtains were shut. What time was it?
I lifted to my elbows but drew in a breath when I felt weight fall from me. I looked to my left and noticed how Colby rolled from his side to his back; his face turned away from me. He was knocked out. Was his arm across me as we slept?
Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night in the same situation except two bright eyes stared back at me. Even in the dim moonlight that shined through the broken ceiling of the abandoned building, his eyes glowed bright back at me. I told myself the only reason I fell back asleep in his arms was because I shivered my skin off from the chill. I felt his body shake as well which meant it must have been cold even with the sleeping bags. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been daydreaming about what his hands felt like on my back and what the warmth of his neck felt like on my face, my lips.
As I stretched on the bed and yawned as quietly as I could, I looked to my other side and I nearly choked myself half to death when Sam jumpscared me. He as well lay on his front with his head supported on his crossed arms. I didn’t know how I didn’t feel his side flush to mine. We slept in almost the same position.
My face burned when I pulled my leg off of Colby’s.
I slid backwards off the bed and popped my neck; my body ached from sleep uncomfortably. I was ready for a real sleep. Although, that nap did fare well. Nate slept on the other side of Sam and I smiled at the sight of his arm and leg wrapped around Sam’s body.
I snapped photos of them. For blackmail. Or, at this point, pure entertainment.
I grabbed my bag and headed into the bathroom. I held my breath for some reason as I turned on the light and nothing happened. It always crossed my mind that maybe—just maybe—everything was a lie and hauntings weren’t real because of evenings like this one. We all were zonked on the bed—aside for poor Seth who coiled up on one of them sofas in the main room across from the bedroom—and not a thing happened.
Then again I'm sure I could have time traveled during that nap and I wouldn't have known a thing.
The warm water almost lulled me to sleep then and there, but the chilly tiles kept a pep in my step. I wished I had this room to myself. I imagined it then; kicking the boys to the floor so I could have the largest bed I had ever seen all to my clean self.
I didn't do that.
By the time I was finished blow drying my hair and making myself as presentable as possible for the camera while keeping my future bed time routine simple, I heard commotion in the rest of the suite. I pulled a new pair of black jeans from my bag and pulled on a thermal long sleeve and a hoodie on top of it with rushing hands. What was the plan now?
“Yeah man, I have no idea.” I only caught the end of Colby’s gentle statement when I opened the door. His eyes found mine and I watched intently to find out what they were saying.
”Seth is still asleep,” he said.
”And Sam wants to be,” Sam spoke into Nate’s side. He held onto Nate and tried to curl into him comfortably, but Nate scooted away with every advance Sam made. I scoffed a laugh as I passed the pathetic three on the bed.
”And Nate wants to get this show on the road or else he won’t ever get up from this bed. Jesus, it’s damn comfortable.”
”It really is though,” Colby said.
”I don’t think the nap did anything for me even though it was really nice,” I admitted. Colby aimed his attention at me as I dropped my bags under the covered window on the side of the bed he sat on.
”Yeah, I’m really tired still as well.”
“Let’s get energy drinks and some food before we miss the meeting,” Sam said as he too yawned and stretched.
”Someone wake up Seth.”
”Oh right,” Nate laughed as he got up to do just that. “Can’t forget poor sleeping Seth.”
”He looks so cold,” Sam laughed.
”Not as cold as two nights ago.”
”Don’t remind me,” he moaned.
“We’re here with Dr. Smith; the renowned demonologist who’s especially familiar with all of the paranormal activity that’s happened here at this hotel,” Sam spoke to the camera.
As much as dinner was amazing fuel, as soon as we got back into the lobby of the hotel and started the meeting with Dr. Smith, my eyelids were heavy again. Sure, we missed two nights of restful sleep, but how tired was too tired?
A subtle flinch on my hand yanked my attention from the interview, and my eyes met Colby’s whose eyebrows rose with question. ‘I’m good,’ I nodded. ‘Tired,’ I mouthed and he nodded heavily with his eyes closed. His eyes were darker than I had seen them, and when I looked back in Nate’s direction, I noticed the distraction in his eyes.
Were we all truly this spent? We all had taken many trips with Sam and Colby through the years, and almost every week was filled with three or four high adrenaline videos to get done. The traveling mixed with the paranormal adrenaline and the unrestful sleep promised hazy days and many many energy drinks, but this? This was different.
”Seth—“ My attention was pulled by Sam’s voice.
”Shit I’m sorr—“
”It’s fine,” Dr. Smith said. “If you all don’t know, the main issue visitors have dealt with in this hotel is fatigue.” My stomach dropped. “The souls that make pit stops here often get trapped and are weary from living in purgatory in these walls.” Somehow a burst of energy coursed my veins at this insight; at least my suspicions weren’t too outlandish.
”This makes a lot of sense,” Colby sighed.
“We’re outrageously tired and took a three hour nap,” Sam laughed. Dr. Smith nodded.
”If it’s already affecting all of you this much, you might want to be careful when you go to the third floor then; people are known to pass out very frequently because of—well the things that live there.”
”Why—What’s on the third floor and why does it make people pass out?”
”We believe there is a demon who stays in this hotel, specifically the third floor, and it influences the spirits and human people who come. It doesn’t like to be alone, but it also doesn’t enjoy the company of people so it depletes energy quickly.”
”Almost like an omen for them to leave?” Sam questioned.
”Maybe,” Dr. Smith said as his head fell to the side with some disagreement.
”Or is it more so wanting something to do, like, does it enjoy messing with people or something?”
“I think that’s the case,” he responded as he pointed to Colby. “It might be bored and it may want human energy to feed on and manipulate.”
The way that Dr. Smith expressed the demon’s wants sent chills down my arms and it felt like hot air held my ears. Maybe this would be a long night, and maybe some decent activity would come of it.
Hopefully all this fatigue wasn’t for nothing.
”I’m still on edge about all of… this,” Seth said as his hands gestured to everything around us. We walked through the hotel with quiet voices and the camera filming on Sam’s side.
”Same, but what are you feeling?” Colby asked.
”I’m freaked out about how we all are equally feeling the demon’s effect already and we haven’t even tried to taunt it or anything.”
”I mean, it could just be because of our trip,” Nate spoke. The voice of reason. “We barely slept.”
”Yeah but all of us took long naps and we all feel like zombies even after the drinks.” No one argued that.
As we walked and talked and introduced the hotel to the camera, Colby made sure to keep up with my pace. I couldn’t decipher whether I imagined it or I was the one keeping up with him, but for some reason, all my attention honed in on him and his body and every motion it made.
And when we turned the corner and Sam quickly stopped in front of me, I halted in my steps and Colby’s body collided into mine. I held my breath so I wouldn’t gasp; we all were quiet. Seth had heard something and Sam whispered to the camera.
I backed up into him tighter when his hands that held onto my waist dug in deeper. His breath skipped some and he let go of me and passed me with a raised whisper when Sam asked him something. It took me a moment. A dazed moment. My tired brain was so overwhelmed with everything that suddenly I felt intoxicated. Intoxicated by the fatigue, intoxicated by the lack of effected air conditioning, intoxicated by Colby who seemed to also be unable to stop touching me and thinking about me—
What was going on?
I lagged behind the boys as they walked down the hallway. Colby turned to me. His eyes were dilated, face flushed, hand reached back towards me.
”Come on, don’t fall behind,” he whispered. I took his hand and didn’t say anything because I swore my heart replaced my vocal cords in my throat.
Even as it got hotter when we ventured to the second floor and even as the sheen of sweat in between our palms became more so a dripping pool, I didn’t let go of him. And he didn’t let go of me.
“Are you okay?” He whispered down to me. I nodded slowly.
”Yeah, just hot as fuck.”
”Are you good?” Sam’s louder voice caught my attention and I looked up. Nate spoke animatedly to Seth with a hand pointed down the hall and Sam had turned towards us. The camera was to his side.
”Yeah,” Colby answered for me. “We—It’s hot as hell and can barely stay awake.”
”I know,” Sam sighed breathlessly. Sweat too lined his face. “Dr. Smith did say that they have perpetual issues with the AC on the third floor, and even during the winter it gets this hot.”
”Couldn’t imagine the summer here,” Nate said as he spun into our conversation.
”I’m really wanting to get to the third floor to test some things out.”
”Like the Estes method?” Seth asked. Sam nodded quickly.
We were on our way and my heart burned in my chest. I gripped Colby’s hand tighter as my head rushed with more elevation. The elevator was slow but my pace was slower, and the fatigue gnawed at my bones.
”You’re not going to pass out are you?”
”No,” I shook my head. “I mean not yet at least.”
”Don’t worry,” Sam said. “We’ll catch you.”
”Shut the hell up,” I snapped as the elevator doors opened. Nate led the way. “Of all of us, I trust you to purposely miss me.”
”Yeah that’s only because Colby would have caught you before you even started to fall—“
Seth’s spiteful jeer was cut off by a loud bang at the end of the hallway. Sam and Nate rushed forward around the corner with the camera.
“There’s literally nothing,” I heard Sam’s whisper. I ignored the smirk on Seth’s face as he gave a look to Colby. We three turned the corner as well.
Nothing. An average looking empty hotel room shined back at us. Not even a member of housekeeping nor their supplies showed any kind of appearance.
“We’re in a hotel for fuck’s sake,” I whisper. “It could be a damn guest.”
”True,” Nate said. We slowly walked backwards.
”Alright,” Sam started and lifted the camera. Real filming time. “The demon’s known to be most responsive in the conference room on the third floor, which is where we’re headed.”
”Yeah because for some reason this demon has a lot of business to get done,” Seth said. We all looked at him. I burst out with one singular laugh and slapped my knee.
”Good one.”
The conference room was larger than I anticipated and dark and musty. We left the lights off and turned on all our flashlights and faced them towards the ceiling to give more of an expansive ambient light. As Colby set up the rem pod, I held an emf device and Sam prepared Seth to go under on the Estes method. For as empty as this room appeared to be, it sure as hell felt full.
Tables lined the back wall while chairs were stacked near them. A few stragglers of chairs peppered the room but other than that, only two gigantic crystal chandeliers decorated the room other than the hardly touched plush carpet with intricate designs.
The heat around my face didn’t get better. Only worse. I could hardly breathe. My vision was hazy and it was as if the air suddenly had a film of white air over taking the much needed oxygen. I decided that I was just crazy and sleep deprived when none of the guys complained about it.
”If there’s a spirit in here, let us know by coming close to one of our devices,” Sam started. His voice echoed around the room. “If you would like to speak with us you can do so by touching these devices,” he pointed to the rem pod and emf. “Or you can send words into this and it will read them back to us—“
Present
My heart stopped at the shrill of the ovilus.
”Thank you so much, I’m Sam, these are my friends—“ We each said our names. “We’re just here to talk and nothing more. Can we ask you some questions?”
”The rem pod—“ Colby rushed out. We all looked at the brightness of its lights. The rem pod never seemed so bright and loud to me than at that moment.
”Yeah that’s the rem pod it’s pretty intense,” Sam said. ”How many of you are there?”
Full
”The ovilus said full—
Meeting
”Does this mean a meeting full of spirits are here?” Sam asked. The rem pod stopped.
”If you have a lot to say and would like to talk to Seth in the spirit box, then move back to that—“
The rem pod went off again and stayed on
Sam turned to us with wide eyes and I stared back at him unblinking.
”Get—Alright Seth get on the spirit box,” Colby told him.
Seth sat in the chair blindfolded and he set the headphones on his head. The moment he went under I too felt a rush of dizziness.
”Hey—“ Colby grabbed my hand. “You good?”
”The energy drink must be making me jittery or something,” I said. “I’m so damn tired like I can’t keep my eyes open but I’m faster.” He nodded with a slight grin.
”Hopefully it’s just that—“
”Sam,” Seth spoke in a monotone voice.
”Hi, yeah that’s me. Who am I talking to, what’s your name?”
”Many.”
”There’s many of you, aren’t there? Are you all trapped here?” Sam must have been referencing Dr. Smith who said that the spirits here are trapped in purgatory.
”Not likely.” Seth’s voice twisted in my chest like a knife; I didn’t know what it was but I couldn’t breathe and the tone in his voice told me something different.
”Is there a way for you all to leave?”
”There was just—just a noise I think a sigh? Or a laugh? I don’t know— Irrational.” Sam’s head cocked to the side at the obscure word the spirit box tagged on to Seth’s description of the sound.
”What’s irrational?”
”Maybe it’s saying we’re irrational to think they are trapped,” Colby told him.
”Probably. Do you like staying here?”
“Feeding.” Seth's single word alone sent chills across your arms as if it didn't push 90 degrees in the room.
“Are you feeding on energies? I know a lot of people stay here—”
“Love it when you… I didn't catch the rest.”
“You love feeding on the energies or something?” Sam's patient tone never ceased to shock and impress me. The way he so confidently handled the discussion was something entirely beyond my capabilities. If whatever this was fed on any energy at all, it must have been mine because as my fear increased the remaining ounce of my energy decreased.
“Dr. Smith was talking about how this was like a super busy place for humans and spirits, and it's easy for them to get trapped since the supposed demon loved stealing the energy—” Colby spoke before Seth interrupted him.
“You bet, you bet I do—No for real guys that's what it said before a laugh. I'm shaking,” Seth rushed. Colby shot a glance at Sam the same time Sam turned to him.
“Why do you stay here and take the energy—”
“It—” Seth laughed as his cheeks blushed pink. “It's literally just a girl moaning.”
“Moaning? What the fuck?” Sam whispered back at Colby.
“Do you like to trick people here? Are you bored or something so you feed off their energy for entertainment?” Colby asked.
“I love it, I love it, I love—So stupid.” My head turned to the side in confusion; what the hell did that mean?
“Are you calling us stupid because we don't understand?” Sam asked.
For some reason I raised my voice next.
“Or are you calling the people you play with stupid—”
“Fucking bitch.”
“What the fuck,” Sam gasped as he looked at me.
“Damn sorry for speaking,” I laughed.
“You will be.” The boys gasped and looked at me as I stared at a completely oblivious Seth who still rocked back and forth in time with the jumping channels in his headphones.
“That's—That’s a threat,” Colby raised his voice. He took a step in front of me.
“You can't touch us or mess with us, you und—”
“Too late.”
“Too late as in too late because we’re all tired?” Nate asked.
“Yeah maybe it's already influenced us like Dr. Smith—” It cut Colby off.
“You'll feel it. Can't you?”
“Yeah we're pretty tired,” Sam replied, still somehow patient and confident. “Is that you making us tired?”
“Even more than.”
“More than what? You're making us more tired than usual?”
“Idiot.” Sam took a step back with a laugh.
“I'm tired of getting roasted by a demon,” he laughed. I wanted to laugh with them, but the fire started at my knees. Yes, it was hot in the room, but a particular ache that I wished was new spread lower than it typically did.
It was hot. And I wasn't just sweating.
“What’s your name?” Colby spoke up that time.
“It's my pleasure.”
“What does that mean?” Sam asked in our direction. Colby shook his head. I stared intently at Seth still as if I couldn't look away. The fairness of his skin drew me in and it took a full seven more seconds until I realized the fire in my legs raised to my mid thigh and even higher.
I ached.
“What's your pleasure, what do you like to do to people?” Colby asked.
“Everything.”
My stomach fell out of its place.
“Everything,” Sam gasped nsd Colby quickly raised his hand.
“You would do everything to us?”
“Somethings.”
“You cannot hurt us or follow us home, you must stay here—”
“Oh trust me.”
“I don't like this,” I finally choked out.
“Yeah me neither,” Colby’s voice gently replied.
“Should we get him out?”
“One more question then we will,” he replied to Sam.
“What do you want to do to us?”
“it's already been done.”
“What? What have you—”
“Bye.”
And the headphones yanked from Seth’s head and fell to his feet by themselves.
The five of us stood frozen; all eyes peeled to the headphones that now reverberated with the shrill of empty changing channels.
The heat pooled in my stomach. I needed to change underwear.
“Holy shit—“ I finally break and take a step back.
”I know, oh god. What was—What the fuck—”
“What the hell just happened?” Colby cried and cut off Nate.
”Let’s—Let’s go back,” Sam choked out. “We need to get out of here.” Seth was deathly still and soaked in what had just happened to him. Nate’s hand held the back of his neck as we all left the conference room.
“Did—Did we get anything good at least?”
“Oh my god, let me tell you what happened.” On the way back to our rooms many stories above, Sam told Seth the entire story.
“How was that possible?” Colby finally broke. He spun around and walked backwards so he could see us all. “It literally stole enough energy from us to throw the fucking headphones down!”
”Which makes sense. I might pass out,” Seth said.
“Let’s hurry.” Colby grabbed my hand.
The ache wouldn’t leave. It was like it attached itself to my legs and spread up, up, and up— the heat in between my legs was unbearable now. I needed sleep. I needed to pass out. I needed—
I looked at Colby as we entered the elevator. His eyes were nearly devoid of color. We all were drained and tired, and this strange feeling like a spirit of desperation or something, came over all of us so suddenly that even Sam forgot to pick up the camera and press record again.
Nate and Seth went straight to their suite and Sam led us into ours. My heart pounded against my ribs as I crossed the threshold. Eyes. I felt their eyes on me but I didn’t turn back. Too tired, too drained, I didn’t know what else, or how much else, I could handle. I kicked my shoes off if I walked and didn’t even mind that they were in the middle of the floor. I flopped on the bed only for them to follow me.
Sam pulled a rem pod out of the backpack and set it up in the corridor between the first room and the bedroom while he set another room in between the corridor of the bedroom to the bathroom.
”Just in case,” he told Colby as he shot him confused looks.
The anxiety that welled in my chest depleted when Sam yawned and slipped out of his hoodie. Colby’s eyes were closed and I couldn’t tear my eyes from his dark lips when he licked them wet.
”I’m so ready to pass out,” Sam said. He flicked the lights off.
Colby made a sound as he moved and I heard him as well strip clothes off. What was happening? It sounded like their heads were caught in a fog as well and we couldn’t think. Our decision making skills were non-existent and when I slipped under the blankets in between them, it didn’t feel off from any other situation we had been in. At least Sam plugged his phone in. I could have left mine in that conference room and it wouldn’t have mattered to me.
The darkness of our room struck me before my head hit the pillow and I was out.
My throat was a dry fire and my skin turned to lava. My eyes peeled open and swirls of blues and whites from my forgotten dream mix with the darkness of the room around me. I whined. It was fucking hot. I sat up straight because if I didn’t get the hoodie off of me immediately I was certain I would die.
”Hey,” I heard Colby’s half asleep voice. I only whined again in response. He sat up. “What’s wrong—“
”So fucking hot I’m going to be sick.”
”Here, here,” his soft voice replied, and his hands quickly snaked under my hoodie. It was a frenzy to get everything off. I didn’t know what came over me, us, but before I knew it my hoodie hit the floor on top of his leather jacket and my thermal came off with it. My back hit the bed again as he hovered halfway over me. “Better?” He whispered.
”I—I don’t—I need—“
”What do you need?” My hands already fumbled with the button of my skinny jeans. Colby’s eyes trailed down my body and I didn’t cower in the sight. His hands swatted mine away and I lifted my hips so he could drag the damp fabric from them. Only when my jeans met his on the floor did I realize that he too only wore underwear.
”Something—anything—“
”Fuck, it’s not just me who feels it then, huh?” I shook my head quickly. He wavered in his confidence. Even in the darkness of the room I watched his head shake. His arms shook as well and he fought within himself it seemed.
”Do whatever you want, Colby.” So he lowered himself down on me. When did my legs spread?
And when I felt how hot and hard he was already, questions poured through my mushy brain faster than I could process them. Was this an effect from the demon? If so, what kind of demon was it? Were we not just tired out of our minds but also horny out of our minds as well? What if this wasn’t even the demon? Did I really like Colby more than I was willing to admit? Was Sam alright? Was he even still asleep?
A moan hitched in my throat when Colby purposely thrusted against me slowly. My back arched and he pinned me down by my throat.
”Sh,” he demanded. “This is what I want. You still gonna let me do it?”
I couldn’t think. Nothing rational repeated disagreements in my mind because for far too long now I’ve wanted this too.
I nodded frantically.
”Please, I’ll beg you to do it if you won’t.” He laughed once.
”I don’t think I can give you the time to beg this time.” This time? More sounds so far from myself escaped my tense throat when his thumb dipped into my mouth. He pulled at my teeth then my bottom lip and even though I know he only tried to find where my mouth was, my eyes still rolled back at the feeling and bitter taste.
And his mouth was on mine.
He drank down my moans and pushed my legs back so that he could thrust against every part of me. I couldn’t even call any part of this dry or clothed because my arousal was enough to saturate both of our clothes to ruin.
My stomach couldn’t keep up; it twisted under my skin and my heart pounded in my ears with every lick of his tongue behind my teeth. My hands chased up his skin from his pantline to his neck where I held tightly. I couldn’t get enough of it even if our sweat mended together past the point of comfort and our noises and movements were definitely harsh enough to wake Sam.
When he pulled away, I sucked on his tongue hoping to bring him back.
”Holy fuck—“ he gasped as I let go of his tongue. It was then and there that I decided I could never get over his taste and I needed more and more of it until I was addicted.
And I heard a heavy breath from Sam.
He did too because both of us shot wide glances at him. Of course Colby didn’t stop the obscene movements against me. Thankfully. Colby looked back at me, but I still watched Sam sleep. His head tossed from being disturbed and my heart dropped when I realized that in a matter of seconds, Sam’s eyes would be on us.
”Look at me,” Colby hummed and of course I did. “Please, can I…” He mumbled as his fingertips dipped under the band of my underwear.
”Fucking god—obviously,” I whined and writhed under him because why wouldn’t he hurry the fuck up—
My underwear were halfway down my thighs when we froze in our tracks; a moan that wasn’t mine.
“What—“
And another.
We looked at Sam simultaneously and I couldn’t look away from him this time.
”Maybe it—Maybe it’s not just us too,” Colby aimlessly spoke as he hurried to get my underwear off my legs. It was impossible to keep still. The friction overstimulated my every nerve but it also wasn’t enough. I needed more, more of something, of anything.
”Fuck.” Another drawn out moan interrupted us and I couldn’t contain the fluttering in my chest from the sound of Sam’s voice. He must have still been asleep because he moved lazily. I watched him as Colby ducked under the blanket.
Just as Colby’s mouth met my thighs, Sam thrusted up into the sheets.
He looked for something, anything, and in that moment I understood. I questioned, something in me truly did because this was incredibly unlike us, but I couldn’t think straight. Not with this haze flooding my neck and this cotton stuffed in my brain.
”Colby—“ I gasped the second his tongue met me. My hand found his hair and it only pulled a moan from him.
“What the fuck.” And there it was. A groggy voice next to me. I looked away from him in fear of my own red blush but I forgot how dark the room was. “Oh shit—“ It sounded like Sam came to and understood the situation now. “What the hell, why do I feel—“
”Sam.” I didn’t mean to hum his name the same way I did Colby’s. Colby moaned as he sucked me sweetly; I nearly blacked out from the heat of his tongue. And when his fingers teased me? My hips writhed for him. “Please oh my god, more just—inside already,” I whined and thank the heavens Colby didn’t put up a fight.
I didn’t even try to conceal my moans anymore, not when his fingers filled me and his tongue stimulated me so perfectly. Even in the darkness I saw and felt the head rush; my vision pounded with stimulation and shock.
Muffled moans caught my attention and I looked at Sam. He had turned to his front and although his eyes were closed and pointed down, he still faced me. His arms were crossed under his pillow and I knew he tried to fall back asleep.
He was closer though.
And I didn’t disregard the way his hips thrusted repeatedly into the mattress.
”Colby please, god I’m so close.”
”I know,” he whispered but pulled away. I wanted to complain but how could I when his kisses and tongue trailed up my body like that?
“Sam he’s—“
”I know,” Colby laughed. “It’s okay.”
“How do you know?”
”Look at him,” he laughed. “He would have told us to fuck off by now.” I don’t know why I would ever question Colby’s judgment of Sam. He knew him like he knew himself; I should have known they could communicate without even speaking at this point.
”It—It's okay,” Sam choked out. “Fuck—Colby, fuck her.”
I swore I met god from the sound of those words on his wet tongue.
A string of inaudible expletives rushed from Colby's mouth as he crawled up to eye level with me.
And he couldn't even wait.
He pulled himself from his underwear instead of taking them off, and my head tossed back when his wet tip slipped across me. My hands grappled for anything to hold on to for support. I couldn't contain myself or control my movements, not when Colby felt like heaven incarnate.
Sam's hand came up and pinned my wrist to the pillow next to my head. I whined for release but didn't do a good enough job escaping his grasp; his fingers slid up and interlocked with mine.
“Can I? Inside you?” Colby gasped.
“Inside me, fill me up please. I need—You know how bad I—”
“I know, I know,” he groaned before pushing himself fully in.
A moan punched out of me and I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Sam moaned as well and held my hand tighter.
And as Colby fucked me like we would have no other chance, Sam thrusted into the bedding and pushed his hip against mine.
“Feel—Oh my god you feel better than I imagined,” Colby moaned.
“You imagined me?”
“No shit,” Sam bit back in spite. Colby only moaned louder and shoved my knees back further. My moans lifted to nearly a scream and Colby clasped his hand around my throat.
“Sh, only I can hear you, baby.”
“And Sam, right?”
“Fuck,” Colby laughed. Maybe I couldn't see him but I heard the blush. “Only if you can be good for him too.”
“I can be good,” I whined. Sam moaned and his hip pushed tighter into mine.
“Let go Sam—My hand, let go,” I forced out through the moans, and he did. Immediately I lowered my hand in between us and slipped it under him.
“Oh shit!” He cried and allowed me to wedge my way in between the bed and his insanely wet arousal. Between my sweat covering my skin alongside Colby’s and our pre-come saturating our legs and sheet, I should have felt disgusted. But it was heaven on earth. I wanted to drown in them. “Oh my god, you'll make me cum so fast,” Sam gasped into the pillow.
“You're doing so good,” Colby's moan turned into a laugh. “Like holy shit—I'm fucking close too.”
“Harder, please Colby, fuck me harder,” I whined and his head tossed back. His skin slipped under my nails from the sweat so I couldn't leave marks so I yanked him down by the neck. His hand supported himself next to my head and he moaned as I sucked harsh bruises into his collarbone.
And I pushed my hand tighter against Sam. His underwear were soaked and I just needed a little more—
“Oh—Oh my god yes, yes, yes—” Sam moaned as I shoved my hand in his underwear. I stroked him in time with his thrusts and there was something about the way his hips shook that ingrained in my mind.
Colby gouged his fingers into the thick of my thighs and I couldn't help but hope there were marks for me to fawn over in the morning. And it was his turn.
He leaned over me, and with his free hand, he held the side of my neck and kissed me into the pillows. I couldn't breathe between his violent thrusts and with his intoxicating taste in my throat, I let go of my body and let the boys fully take over it.
Then another arm came up and pulled my leg back.
“Sam—” I gasped his name when he inserted his arm under my leg between me and Colby. A gasp expelled from my used throat when he swirled his fingers against me. “Shit! There, there like that, oh my god!” I all but screamed.
“Oh fuck yeah, does it feel good baby?” Colby moaned. “Does it take both of us to please you, make you feel good?”
“Please! I'm so—”
“Holy shit, the rem pod!” Sam groaned.
And he was right.
I opened my eyes to find blue and red lights flickering in the dark abyss of a room and a loud shrill combined with our moans. Of course he was even prettier fucked out of his mind. Colby's hair stuck in every direction, and his lips parted in pleasure so I could see the gleam of saliva on his tongue. Fuck, I wanted him inside of me. Not even if he curled up in my bones would he be close enough.
“What—What time is it?” Colby breathlessly tried to ask in a serious tone.
Of course they would still be on the grind for work while fucking my brains out.
Sam moaned as he leaned and grabbed his phone—
“Holy fucking shit no way; it's 3:33am now 3:34.”
“Jesus, fuck,” Colby gasped. I didn't give a fuck. I needed him deeper, closer.
“More please—”
“So needy, baby. Oh my god. Want more? Alright, let me—” Colby rose to his knees and pushed my thighs back again. “Sam finger her, use your fingers, yeah like that.”
My gasp caught in my throat when Sam slipped his fingers lower and joined Colby inside of me. This time I think I blacked out but I'm not sure; when I open my eyes, my tears blur what little exposure the rem pod lights give us. Colby’s blue hued face gleamed back at me blurry and Sam's moans flooded my side.
“I'm cumming—” I whined. Colby nodded his head furiously.
“Shit yeah, cum—cum for us,” he praised. And Sam fucked his fingers deeper and finally found that spot inside of me—
My orgasm crashed into me before I could prepare myself and I closed my eyes and allowed the pleasure to take me.
Sam's moan was next, and I felt him cover us with his warm fluid. I made sure I stroked him harder until his hips painfully pinned my hand down and rendered it unable to move. His moans turned into whines from overstimulation and that was when Colby broke as well.
“I'm—Holy shit I'm going to—”
“Fill me, Colby. Please I need your cum. Cum inside of—” I barely finished my sentence before he choked out a loud moan as well. With my name on his lips, I swore I could have finished again and again, nevermind Sam's fingers that still harshly worked me.
It took a second or two and then Colby cried out with overstimulation.
“Sam—” he gasped, but as he pulled out, Sam got up to his knees and pinned me down.
“Please, please, please! It's so much!”
“Let go, baby. Let go when you need to—”
“Sam! Oh my god—”
Another wave of pleasure drowned me and I held onto his other arm as he fingered me through the intensity of it all. After another few seconds, he pulled his dripping hand away. My entire body violently shook as I watched a cup full of my fluids and Colby's release drip from his hand.
“Holy shit, you're so damn hot,” Colby laughed as he leaned back over me and kissed me again. He wiped the tears from my face.
It took a few moments.
For us to come back to ourselves, find our wits again.
The rem pod never stopped.
Sam walked to the bathroom to clean up since he was the dirtiest.
“Holy shit, what pervy ghosts—”
The rem pod stopped.
“No fucking way,” Colby burst out laughing and I covered my face with my arms. “Stop,” he laughed and pulled my arms back. “How can you blame them? You're so hot, so sexy, the most beautiful thing—”
“Alright ew, get a room,” Sam jeered from the bathroom.
“You're judging as if you didn't just finger her with my dick on your hand—”
“Alright I didn't think you'd say anything about that.”
“Aw, what, are you embarrassed that you touched his dick for the first time?” I teased.
“And it's the fucking last time too; that was disgusting,” Sam complained as he washed his hands harsher.
“I would have expected it to definitely not be the first time—”
“Shut the hell up,” Colby laughed. “Sam’s just judging me for telling you how hot you are, how beautiful and good you are—” I watched a sliver of Sam's reflection in the mirror as he smiled and shook his head. “—How much I love you.”
My stomach dropped and my eyes looked straight to Colby. The bathroom orange light drenched his face with an overwhelming warmth I wanted to swim in.
“Colby—” He held my face in his hands. “Love you.” The sentence only just fell from my lips before his met mine.
“Okay, okay,” Sam said. “There's all the time in the world for the lovey stuff after I leave.”
“And this is the only time you'll be here for this,” Colby snapped back. My eyes widened. I didn't anticipate Colby's genuine hostility towards his best friend over me.
“Colby,” Sam laughed. “I know. Obviously I know: she's been all yours from the start.”
“What the hell?” I shrieked. “Am I the only one who knows about this?” The two burst out laughing but not without a thick blush on Colby's already flared cheeks.
“Seems like it,” Sam laughed as he pulled on fresh underwear and clothes.
“Okay,” Colby sighed. I gasped as his arms tucked under my worn out body. “Let's clean up so we can actually have a good sleep.”
I held onto him as he carried me to the bathroom. He turned on the shower as I pulled my hair back to keep it from getting wet.
“Oh my—” He gasped a laugh when he looked in the mirror. Love bites lined his collarbones and slipped down his chest. “How are you so damn good at that?”
“I don't know, I guess you bring out the worst in me.”
“You have to be careful because I'll bite you back.”
“Oh yeah? Maybe you should or else you're all talk and no bite—Ah!” With that coy smile he slapped my ass and pushed me towards the shower.
“Get in the damn water, you're dripping cum everywhere.”
I couldn't open my mouth as Colby dropped to his knees in front of me. Ever so gently, his hands cleaned my skin with soft body wash until I was clean and smelled like myself again. He kissed my skin and trailed up my thigh.
“Don’t,” I sighed as I brushed his hair back. It was soaked from being directly under the water. He looked up at me darkly; eyes bright blue again.
“Can't wait until we go home.”
“And why's that?”
“Then I can finally have you in my bed like I've always wanted.”
“Colby is—” My tongue tied in my throat as the bashful smile fell. My heart slowed. I licked my lips. He stood to his feet. “—is that something you've wanted? Permanently?”
A slow nod from him had never felt this way before.
“I've wanted you, permanently.”
“Let me go home with you then.” My arms wrapped around his neck. “I've wanted to be yours forever by now.”
And he tossed his head back into the water with a wide smile.
“Fucking finally.”
The morning wasn’t kind.
The sunlight bit at our sensitive eyes, with zero remorse, as we tried to get ourselves together and ready for check out. We all were spent. Now it was time for a long—long—break in our own beds.
When we made it to the lobby, it took all but three seconds for the other two guys to shine widened shocked eyes back at us. Of course I messed up; I miscalculated the height of Colby’s neckline last night, but could anyone blame me?
”Colby—You—Last night?” Nate gasped. They looked at me.
“I—“
”Sam?” Nate looked at him. His face flushed pink as a boyish smile pulled at his lips.
“Hey now,” his hands rose in self defense. “It wasn’t me and it’s not happening again if you really want to know.” Colby tried his best to hide a wide smile, but as he hooked his arm around my neck, he broke a laugh.
”Jesus Christ.”
A/N: I am new here—to Tumblr (other than my account from 2013-2016 that popped off real hard rip)—and also Sam and Colby. I write predominately one shots for Dream Team, Corpse Husband, and Sam and Colby now. I dumped all my works on Wattpad—easy reads—and I got up to 3 Million reads on my Corpse Husband one shot collection, but Wattpad smote that shit.
Request anything—outside of my listed interests, I’m open to Jake Webber and Johnnie Guilbert but I don’t know much about them—and I will write it. I focus on 18+ writing so request anything in your wildest dreams, and if it somehow is too wild for me, I will let you know (but that has yet to happen).
Love, Rosie
#sam and colby#colby brock#sam golbach#solby#colby brock smut#colby x reader#colby brock x reader#minors dni#18+ only
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Summary: The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before.
Word count: 6.8K
Warnings: angst and fluff, I fucked up original timeline so there is no civil war in here, bucky needs and gets a hug, you're bucky's gf from the 40's, cryofreeze, self hate talk, happy end.
Author's note: enjoy💘
“Aren't you fucking tired of this?” Bucky growled as he burst into the common room where Sam, Steve, and Natasha were sitting. "If you set me up on another date, Wilson, I'll break your fucking wings."
Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Calm down, cyborg. Look at you, all angry and stressed out; you need to get laid! When was the last time you’ve been on a date?"
Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced between his two friends.
"Sit down, Barnes." Nat nodded her head at the couch across from her. Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, as too many feelings were bubbling inside of him, but he obeyed and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now explain what happened.”
"This idiot is trying to set me up again.” He said, nodding towards Sam. "And I told you I'm not interested."
“But why? Don't you want to feel like back in the days and have some fun with pretty women? This Hydra shit clearly wasn’t good for you. You’re too tense and always mad. Go on a date, maybe you’ll find a good girl to spend some time with.” Sam genuinely wanted to help his friend, and he didn’t understand why Bucky was so mad about it.
The look on Bucky’s face was weird. Like he wanted to say something but, at the same time, didn’t want to share his thoughts.
“Are you already dating someone?” Natasha leaned with her elbows on her knees and studied his face. There was definitely something that Bucky didn’t want to say.
Steve looked between the three of his friends, and when Nat asked Bucky a question, it was like a bulb turned on in his head.
"Buck…" Bucky met Steve's eyes, holding eye contact for a few seconds, like they were talking about something that only they knew.
“Hey!” Sam said, waving his hands. “What are you two doing? Do you know something, Rogers?”
“Buck, is it because of her?” The blonde said it almost in a whisper. “You still remember, right?”
“Did you have a girlfriend before the war?” Natasha, as always, understood everything immediately, and it was funny to see how Sam’s mouth fell open in shock.
Bucky clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap, not sure if he should reveal the truth. He had kept it to himself for so long—ever since he escaped Hydra and the memories from the past started to flood his head. It was too painful to think about you. To think about the woman who was his whole life many years ago. He remembered everything, and now he sees you in his dreams almost every night. Sometimes in nightmares, sometimes in the good ones, about the life that you two would’ve had if he hadn’t gone to war.
“What the hell are you hiding from us?” Sam shouted again, trying to get attention.
“I…” Bucky frowns, staring at his hands. “I had a girlfriend... before the army, before the Hydra.” He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Just the thought of you hurt him, making him regret everything. That he left, that he didn’t marry you, and that the universe had this shitty plan.
“And that’s why you don’t want to go out with someone?” Come on, man, how long has it been? 80 years? Get over it. It must have been another one of your girlfriends that you hooked up with when you were young.” He chuckled, looking between his friends, none of whom seemed happy with his choice of words.
"Sam, don't—"
“You sound like an asshole.”
“Get over it?” Bucky didn’t let Steve or Nat finish their sentences before he barked at Sam, looking even more angry than before. “Just another one of my girlfriends? Do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about, Wilson? " He looked like he was ready to kick his friend right in the face. “She wasn’t one of them. In fact, there was no “them”. In my entire life, I’ve never even touched another woman because I've been in love with Y/N since I was 14. We started dating when I turned 18, and I proposed before I had to go to the war.”
Bucky’s emotions quickly changed as the hot rage turned into a longing for memories and feelings. He felt a lump in his throat, so he reached into his pocket for his wallet, from which he pulled out your old and shabby photo, gently running his finger over your face.
“Y/N was everything to me. She said yes, and I promised her that I would return so we could get married. I imagined that I would spend my whole life with her, you know? I don't need any other woman. I do not want it. I still love her, and I don't care if either of you find it funny.
The room fell into heavy silence. Steve just looked out the window, remembering the times when the three of you went to Coney Island, and he was always the third wheel. You were his friend too, and the aching feeling in his chest was too heavy.
Sam felt a little bit awkward after saying these things about your relationships. He wanted to tease Bucky, not be rude.
Natasha was the one who took the first step when she stretched the arm so Bucky would give her the photo. “You two look so cheesy. She’s really gorgeous.” She smirked, looking at the old black-and-white photo of you two sitting on the bench. Your back was almost lying on Bucky’s body, and his arms were wrapped around you. It seemed like you were talking about something and enjoying the private moment. Bucky had the biggest smile Natasha has ever seen on his face, as he was looking at you with heart eyes.
“Can I see?” Sam finally asked, nodding at the photograph in Natasha's hands. She passed him the photo and Bucky moved in his place, feeling a little bit uncomfortable about revealing this part of his life.
“You two look cute. Weird to see a smile on your face.” Sam chuckled.
“Where did you find this photo?” Steve leaned closer to the picture, immediately remembering the day you and Bucky took it and the way Bucky has had it with him ever since.
“I took it to the war. Always had it in a jacket, even on missions. She was with me that day on the train. I think Hydra found this in my pocket. When I ran away from there, I found a box with my stuff; the photo was there.”
“Have you… tried to find something about her?” Steve lifted his head, studying his friend's reaction.
“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know how, but I didn’t find anything. Two years after my fall, there was no record of her. No marriage certificate, no place of residence, no place of work. Nothing. Like she just disappeared.” He shook his head in despair.
“But it's impossible.” Steve frowned, giving the photo back. “A person can't just disappear and leave nothing behind.”
"I don't know," Bucky shrugged, looking back at the photo for a second and then slipping it back into his wallet. "Maybe it's for the best. I don't know how I would come to terms with the news of her death.”
It’s been almost two weeks since that conversation, and luckily for Bucky, Sam didn’t attempt to set him up with anyone anymore.
Earlier that day, Tony announced that his new technology had spotted some weird activity in something that looked like an old and hidden Hydra base. It was pretty much abandoned, but there were signs of small energy consumption, as if something was still constantly working. That’s why the team of Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Tony had to check it out and destroy any possible danger.
After being free from Hydra, Bucky didn’t take part in many missions because the team agreed that it would be better for him to heal and stay far away from triggers. But this base brought up many concerns: it was hidden far away, there was no information about it in nonofficial papers, and even Bucky himself had never heard about it. Tony insisted that someone with knowledge of the Hydra system should go there too.
When the four of them arrived on the quinjet at something that looked like a well-hidden abandoned bunker, they decided not to split up and go through the main and only entrance.
“Be careful; we don’t know that they might hide in here.” Steve said, going in first with a shield in front of him. Bucky and Sam went after him, holding rifles and checking the big and almost empty room.
“They should clean in here, kinda dusty.” Tony chuckled in his usual playful voice.
“It’s not a good time for your jokes, Stark.” Steve was always a little too serious during missions, and Tony really liked pushing his buttons. “I see the light in the other room.” He whispered, carefully opening the door.
“Holy shit.” Sam and Tony spoke at the same time when all four of them entered the giant room.
There were five big glass machines that were a little bit foggy and had a little lightning in them.
“What is this?” Steve ran closer to one of them and saw that there was a man inside. “Oh my god, there is a man in here... It looks like he’s alive.”
“There is a folder called “The Winter Soldier Program” with personal information.” Sam said, picking up a file from the shelf in the corner of the room. “George Harris, 27 from New York. Kathleen Hill, 21 from New York…” He read, mumbling to himself.
“It’s a cryostasis chamber. Hydra used it to freeze me.” Bucky lowered his rifle, coming closer to one of the chambers. Another man. “It lowers your body temperature to the point that you can be kept like that for many years. Hydra– “ Bucky went silent when he got to another glass camera.
“Barnes? Why is there—” Sam didn’t finish his words when the sound of Bucky’s weapon falling on the cold concrete filled the room.
“No-no-no, please, no!” He whispered, moving closer to the glass. He couldn’t believe what he saw.
You were right in front of him, with closed eyes and too pale skin. That was impossible. It’s not you. There was no chance that you somehow ended up with Hydra.
Bucky felt like he was unable to breathe. He tried to inhale some air, but the lump in his throat was too big. The tears blurred his vision; he didn’t hear anything around him, as your almost lifeless body was the only thing that he thought about. You, his sweet girl, somehow ended up trapped with monsters, and he couldn’t do anything to save you from it.
“Bucky!” Two pairs of hands dragged him from the chamber, and the blurry vision of his best friend was now visible in front of him. “Bucky, listen to me! You should calm down, buddy. Just breathe, okay?” Steve deeply inhaled and exhaled to help Bucky, and after a few minutes, he was finally able to speak.
“T-that’s impossible, Steve. She shouldn’t be there! She should’ve found another man and lived a happy life with her family!” He said in a shaking voice, angrily wiping away tears from his face.
“I don’t know how this happened, Buck; I really don’t. But she may be alive there.” Steve supportively squeezed Bucky’s shoulder.
“We can’t just take these people out. We should transport them to the tower and find the safest way to unfreeze them.” Tony said in a serious voice, not joking around anymore. He walked closer to the chambers, studying each of them. “It looks like they are working on their own power, and this one, “he pointed at the one that was dark and with water drops from the inside. “Doesn’t work anymore. The man is probably dead.”
“Are there any chances of getting them out of there alive?” Sam glared at Bucky, who was just staring at your peaceful but haggard face through the glass.
“I don’t know, but me and Banner will do everything we can.”
It took another day to find a way to move four of the still-working chambers to the compound and ten more hours to defrost everyone. and to say that Bucky was completely stressed out and exhausted was an understatement. He didn’t sleep at all, staying in the room near the lab to get all the news as soon as possible. He walked around the room for hours, overthinking everything—what will happen if you die or if you survive? Is it really better for you to wake up and see all the damage that he has done for the past years? To see the empty shell of the person you loved in the past?
“Barnes!” Tony blasted through the doors with a grin on his face. “We did it.”
“You did it?” Bucky’s whole body was buzzing with energy and anxiety. “Where is she? Is she alive? Is she conscious? Can I see her?”
“Wow-wow, calm down. She is alive, but you can’t see or visit her right now. Dr. Cho has to run many tests to find out whether your lovebird is healthy or not.” Tony nodded his head toward the corridor so Bucky would follow him. “We put each of them into a different room, and your Blonde Bestie insisted on putting Y/N into the best and the biggest one. There is a special window through which you can see her, but she cannot see you from the inside. So you can be as creepy as you want to until she gets better.” Stark slapped Bucky on the shoulder to show some kind of support when they stopped in front of the said window.
You were lying on the bed, surrounded by too many wires and monitors. Dr. Cho was standing above you, writing something down, and checking the device near your head.
She said something aloud, probably talking to FRIDAY, and came out of the room.
“Oh, Mr.Barnes, I heard that Y/N was your girlfriend, right?” She smiled, and Bucky slightly nodded, not being able to completely drag his attention from your body. “I’ll tell you this: it’s my most difficult and unique case, but she’s a strong one. Her body heals faster than other people’s from cryo. I believe she’ll be fully awake tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Dr.Cho.” Bucky felt a little bit better now that he had more hope that you could really be back. Dr.Cho gave him another smile and left to check on her other patients.
“I have to find out if these people have families. Did Y/N have someone who might be alive?” Tony asked.
“No, she didn’t.”
“I’ll go, and you, Barnes, will stay away from her for now, understood?” He pointed a finger into Bucky’s face.
“Yes. I’ll just watch from here.”
You were alive. You were awake. Bucky saw with his own eyes as your body started moving and you slowly sat on the bed, confused by your surroundings. He saw panic on your face because you were clearly disoriented and scared to be alone in an unknown place.
As fast as he could, he found Dr. Cho, who was in the room with Steve and Natasha. When he, choking on all the emotions, told them about you, it was a mess.
Dr. Cho and a few other nurses ran to your room to check your condition because you were the first one to open your eyes.
Bucky, Steve, and Nat stood on the other side of the window. Bucky wasn’t able to fully convince himself that it was true that you were so close to him. It felt like a dream, like a weird picture that his brain created to comfort him.
“She’s okay, Buddy.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder because it seemed like he didn’t even blink or breathe. “You can see her soon.”
“No.” He mumbled.
“What?” His friend’s head shot in his direction.
“Someone else should talk to her first. Tell her about my past. Maybe she won’t even want to see me after everything I’ve done.”
“I can go and talk to her first.” Natasha softly smiled. She knew the feeling when you’re afraid that someone will leave you because of your past. “I think it’s better for Y/N to first find out that she woke up in the new century and that she was cryofrozen for many years. I’ll tell her that Steve is alive, and then me and you can both tell her about Bucky.”
Bucky just nodded to her words, still not being able to look at anything besides you. He wasn’t sure that after you find out all the truth, you’ll allow him to even be around you, so for now, he tried to memorize you as much as he could.
Since the moment you opened your eyes, everything felt unknown and different. You couldn’t explain it, but something had changed. You didn’t know where you were, what time it was, how you ended up in that place, or who all these people were. You felt scared as too many doctors crowded your room and fussed around, talking about tests and medical procedures.
The young woman who seemed to be in charge was actually really sweet. After only you and her were left in the room, she sat on your bed with a pile of clothes in her hands and smiled at you.
“So, Y/N, my name is Dr. Cho, and I’m here to help you heal faster and without any consequences.”
“Where am I?” Your voice was too raspy and harsh. It felt like you swallowed a glass of sand.
She sighed, looking at her journal. “It’s hard to explain, but I promise that there’s nothing to worry about. You are safe. In a few minutes, someone will visit you to talk about everything and answer any of your questions. Now, I was told to give you these clothes so it would be more comfortable for you. You can change in the bathroom right there; there is also anything you might need like a toothbrush, soap, and so on.” She pointed at the door in the corner of the room.
You stayed silent until Dr. Cho left your room, and then slowly, feeling kind of scared to move around this place, you went to the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown.
The bathroom looked even weirder than the main room; you had never seen such furniture and interiors. And when you unfolded your new clothes, it took you a few seconds to figure it out. It was some kind of soft pants and a large t-shirt. What kind of clothes was it? Yes, they were actually comfortable, but it wasn’t something that you saw in the stores.
While you were brushing your teeth, your brain was working too hard trying to figure out what the hell was going on, until you heard someone calling your name.
“Hey, Y/N, my name is Natasha.” The pretty red-headed woman was standing near your bed with a tray and food in her hands.
“Please, tell me what’s going on. Where am I? Why does everything look so strange here?” You said in a desperate voice, you almost wanted to scream because you woke up several hours ago, but no one told you a single thing.
“Don’t be nervous, honey. Let's sit on the bed; you’ll eat your special meal, and I’ll tell you everything you want.” She was so nice and genuine, so you nodded and sat down.
Natasha placed a tray near you, and you saw that it was your favorite food of all time. You took a bite, and your taste buds were immediately filled with the taste of the meal that James cooked you almost every day. James. It was his recipe. The tears flooded your eyes when all of the memories about your dead boyfriend returned to your head. Yeah, how could you forget that it had been at least two years since he was gone?
“Y/N? What happened?” Natasha’s worried voice distracted you.
“It just reminded me of someone. I felt like I was home, and it hurts me because nothing is the same anymore.” You wiped your tears away, taking another bite.
“I promise you that everything is going to be okay. You are not alone here.” You frowned at her words but still nodded. “So ask whatever you want to.”
“Where am I, and why does everything look so different?”
“You are at the Avengers Tower, located in Manhattan, New York City. I know that might sound ridiculous, but you were in the cryostasis chamber up until now. It’s 2023, and a lot of things have changed in the world; that's why it might be confusing.”
You stayed silent for a few seconds, overthinking Natasha’s words. “It can’t be true. I can’t be more than one hundred years old now. And I look the same.”
“This is how cryostasis works—it freezes the body so it can survive many years without any changes. Now tell me how you ended up with Hydra. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?”
“Back in the 40s, I was a nurse. My– my boyfriend— he died during the war.” You stopped because of the lump in your throat. It was too hard to bring back these memories because it was the first time you said these words out loud. “He died, and then my closest friend died too, and I just had no one left. I was alone, and I didn’t even know what to live for because all of my dreams about family and a happy life with the person I loved died too.” Natasha put her hand over yours on the bed and gave you a supportive squeeze. “Then one day in our hospital, scientists were looking for people who would like to test new serums. I decided that I had nothing to lose, so me and a few other nurses signed in.”
“Kathleen, Josh, Adam, and Frank, right?” The woman in front of you gave you a sad smile.
“Yes, how do you know that?”
“We found them with you. Adam’s camera was broken, so he died a long time ago, but the rest of them are here too, but, unfortunately, they haven’t regained consciousness yet.”
You nodded. Your food was now done and set aside, and you sat on the bed more comfortably, bringing your knees to your chest. “These scientists were running some tests on us in the lab that they brought us in. It felt weird, and I remember that Kathleen always complained that it was painful. The last thing that happened was that they told us to step into a weird-looking machine that was meant to be a part of some kind of experiment. That’s it.”
“It was Hydra. A terrorist organization that tried to rule the world. They were evil, and you were lucky to get out of there alive.” Natasha pursed her lips. “Thank you for telling me this.”
You two sat in silence for a few seconds until she looked over her shoulder at the weird-looking mirror that took up almost a whole wall.
“Is anything wrong?” You furrowed.
“I have to tell and show you something really important, but everyone is worried about how you are going to react to this.” She studied your face with a weird expression.
“Is there anything more crazy than me being in another century after I was frozen?” You tried to smile, but Natasha just nodded.
“I’ll be right back. Please, try to breathe, okay?” She stood from your bed, took the tray, and left.
Natasha came back, and behind her was the last person you ever expected to see again. You jumped on your feet, feeling like your eyes were lying to you.
“This—this can’t be true... No, Natasha—Steve, you died.” You mumbled under your breath. Your heart rate was way higher than usual, and it felt like you were drowning. You put your hand over your eyes, as your body started shaking. It’s just a dream. It’s just a weird fucking dream.
Two large hands wrapped around your body, pulling you into the hard chest. “Sh-s, Y/N, breathe, just breathe.” His familiar voice filled your ears, and you started crying harder, gripping his shirt. He was rocking you from side to side like a baby, while your tears and sobs filled the silent room.
“What– how– how is this possible? You crushed the plane into ice.” You shattered, tears running down your face.
“The Super Soldier serum saved me. The S.H.I.E.L.D. found my body 12 years ago.” Steve loosened his arms around you, allowing you to look up at him. He was exactly the same. This blonde hair, these light blue eyes, and that soft smile that he always had for you. “Please, sit back on the bed. We have a lot to talk about.” His face was now more serious. Even though he was extremely happy to get back his second closest best friend, he knew that Bucky was dying without you.
Steve and Bucky both looked at your interaction with Natasha, and it was obvious that everything Bucky wanted was for you to be near him. He looked through that window without any distraction, and his face lit up with a small smile when you tasted the food that he cooked for you and became emotional. He knew that you would appreciate it.
“About what?” You wiped your face with the back of your hand and sat down, holding Steve's hand. Natasha, who was still standing in the middle of the room, passed him a thick folder and left. Steve sat near you and gave you a supportive smile.
“Bucky.”
You froze and snatched your hand out of his.
“Steve, no. Please—” You wrapped your hands around your body, as if you were instantly trying to hide from the pain that was aching in your chest. “Please, don’t hurt me anymore. I can’t handle that. Talking about him w-when he’s not with me anymore.” The sods started to get out of you, and you hid your face from Steve’s soft and apologizing eyes.
“He is alive.” Steve’s hands fell on your shoulders, and he lowered his head, trying to make you look him in the eyes.
“Don’t lie to me! He is dead; I saw the reports; I got the letter from Phillips saying that he’s sorry for our loss!” You particularly yelled at your friend.
“Y/N, listen to me, okay? Bucky is alive. He is here. Behind that door, he’s watching us right now.” You were shaking your head in denial.
That was impossible. You knew all this story; Steve himself told you what happened that day. There was no chance for Bucky to survive the fall from that height in the middle of nowhere. Yet here was Steve, sitting right before you. His big blue and soft eyes were looking into your eyes, and you didn’t see a single sign of hesitation or lying in there. He was so genuine that you wanted to believe that your boyfriend was, in fact, a few meters away from you.
“How? And why? James– he would’ve been with me if he were alive. Why isn’t he here?” You sobbed, and then the realization came to you. “That food—the food that Natsha brought me. It tasted exactly like he made it.”
“Bucky thought that it might comfort you. He found you in that laboratory, he has been near you since that day, and he saw that you were scared and disoriented when you woke up. And that's why I am here. Bucky insisted that I should talk to you first and tell you everything. He is afraid that you might not see him anymore after finding out everything that is written here.” Steve picked up the folder and put it on your lap.
“The Winter Soldier” was written on top of the old-looking piece of paper, and for some reason you felt something weird in your chest.
“I want to let you know that whatever is in here, it cannot make me hate him.” You mumbled, hesitating to open the folder. “What’s in there, Steve? Tell me everything.”
“These are the papers that S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra had on the Winter Soldier. Everything that happened to him: experiments, torture, assassinations, crimes. This is what happened to Bucky after the fall. This is what Hydra did to him over these years.”
You felt a lump in your throat when you opened the first page and saw Bucky’s photo from the army. But nothing prepared you for everything you read and saw after that. He wasn’t even James or Bucky anymore. He was a Soldier. An Asset. Someone without an identity. All the detailed descriptions of the medical procedures, brainwashing, electroshock, torture, and punishments with attached photos made you want to vomit and cry hysterically. You couldn’t stop crying when your shaking hands took a picture of the love of your life sitting shirtless and unconscious on some kind of stool with wires attached to his head.
How could someone do that? How could someone torture a person almost to death and then just write about it like it was a fucking dairy?
“His arm, it’s metal. Why is it made from metal?” Your teary-red eyes shoot back to Steve’s face.
“Bucky lost it during the fall. They gave him a new one, but it causes him a lot of pain. Physical and mental.”
“I don’t— Steve, I don’t understand.” You took another picture with Bucky standing in his full black costume and a mask, not a single emotion on his face. “Why did they do this? For what?”
“Hydra wanted to have the perfect asset. Killing machine. To commit crimes, kill unwanted people, and basically rule the world.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor. “They made Bucky the best. They completely cleared his head from the memories of his past; they trained him to be invincible and invisible. They had a special combination of words to control him, so he would always come back and do as he was told.”
You closed the file and moved it aside, closing your face with your hands while you were crying.
“And he thinks that I can reject him?” You whispered.
“Y/N, please try to understand what such things can do to your brain. Bucky goes to therapy, but he probably would never be able to fully heal from this experience.” His hand fell on your shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Bucky always was a good person; that's why right now he feels so much guilt that it’s unimaginable. Even if nothing of this is his fault, he can’t forgive himself for these murders and damage. He has PTSD, nightmares, and a lot of trust issues.”
“I understand, but I would’ve never rejected him. He’s everything that I had, and when I lost him, it felt like hell.” You took a deep breath, looking Steve in the eyes. “Please, let me see him. I need it, and he needs it too.” Steve’s eyes softened at you. He almost forgot the love that his two best friends had for each other.
“Give me a minute, okay?” He smiled, kissed your head, and left your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You were really going to see the man that you thought you had lost forever in a few seconds. It was almost three years for you, but almost eighty for him. A wave of anxiety washed over you when you thought that maybe he doesn’t feel the same anymore and doesn’t have the same feelings as you do. You almost went down a rabbit hole until the door started to open.
You slowly stood up, feeling a little bit uneasy. Even though you and Steve were just talking about it, seeing Bucky alive felt unreal. Your eyes were sliding up and down his face to remember every little part. He looked different, more mature, with a broad chest and shoulders and long, silky hair.
Bucky’s heart was pounding in his ears, and his mouth was completely dry while you were observing him. You had tears in your eyes, and your lower lip was trembling when you tried to hold yourself from crying out loud. You were in some baggy clothes that Nat found for you, but you still looked fucking gorgeous. Still the most beautiful girl on the whole planet.
“Doll…” Bucky’s raspy voice filled the room, and it was everything you needed.
In just a second, you ran to him, falling right into his body. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, and your face hidden into his neck.
As soon as Bucky finally hugged your smaller body and felt that it was real and that you were real, he broke down. Every last piece of strength went through the window as the tears rolled down his cheeks, probably soaking your t-shirt.
He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness for all of the awful things that he had done. He didn’t deserve you anymore, not with this much blood on his hands. But Bucky couldn’t do what he wanted because your grip on him was so strong that he wasn’t even able to move away for an inch.
“James…” Your quiet voice filled his ears, and it sent shivers down his spine. Only you and his ma called him that, and he missed it so fucking much.
Bucky’s hands moved from your waist a little bit lower, and you viewed it as an opportunity to get even closer. Your legs instantly wrapped around his body, and Bucky, making sure that you wouldn’t fall, went to the bed and sat down with you on his knees.
“I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done.” He sobbed, shaking his head. You pulled away a little bit, finally meeting Bucky face-to-face.
“Don’t you dare apologize for the things that you weren’t able to control, James!” Your voice suddenly became rough, filled with so much anger toward the people who hurt your precious boy. His hand on your waist tightened, and you slid your own to cup Bucky’s face. “I want to kill every one of them. Everyone who hurt you, who punished you,” Soft fingertips traced the delicate skin of the templates where, as you remember from the photos, wires with electricity were placed. “You didn’t deserve to go through this, James. I wish I was there for you.”
“You were always with me. Even when they wiped me, I still had someone in my head. A woman with a soft voice, who told me that I'm strong and that it will end soon. I would’ve died without it.” You both were looking into each other's teary eyes, both feeling too much love and desire.
Your head slightly tilted towards his, connecting your foreheads, and for a few seconds, it felt like home. Like nothing happened and you two were just having a lazy morning in bed.
The calloused hand on the side of your face brought you back to reality. Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes were looking into yours, and, sharing one thought, you both moved closer and connected your lips. The kiss was so soft, slow, and gentle, like you had the whole time in the world. It was this type of kiss that said that you both were there and alive. It was a reminder of the love that you had for each other. Reassurance, that no matter what, you will be there.
“I missed you so fucking much, doll. Since the day I first remembered everything, all I could think about was you. Even tried to find you, but there was not a single document. I started to believe that you just found a man, changed your last name, and moved away from that mess.” You were so close to each other, not wanting to split up even for a second. Your hands were moving up and down Bucky’s hard chest while he was rubbing the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.
“Are you joking, James? No one was able to replace you. The only people I talked to during that time were your mom and Becca.” His facial expression slightly changed at the mention of his family, and you placed a soft kiss on his stubble cheek. “I should’ve been the one who took care of them, but I was nothing without you, and Winnie almost made me move in with them. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to be a volunteer for these tests.”
Bucky shook his head, his eyes again full of regret and pain. “I hate that it happened because of me.”
“At least I’m here right now. With you.” You smiled, sliding your hand into his dark, long locks. “You know, James, you look really good for someone who’s older than one hundred years old. I like your hair. And stubble.” His eyes rolled back at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. It had been so long since someone touched him without an intention to hurt him, and the realization of that made your heart swell with the need to take care of your boyfriend.
“You know that you’re one year younger than me, right?” Your favorite little smirk in the whole world appeared on Bucky’s lips, and you smiled, moving a little bit closer to his body. The metal hand on your waist tightened, and you realized that you hadn't seen it in person yet.
Your right hand reached behind you, grabbing a hard wrist that was covered in leather. Bucky’s body immediately froze under you, and his eyes snapped open.
“Doll, no… You don’t have to...”
“I want to. Give me your hand, James.” You said without any hesitation. Bucky looked you in the eyes for a few seconds, but then brought his metal hand between your bodies. “It’s just me, okay? I’m not scared, and I want to know everything.” You wrapped both of your hands around his hand and then gently started to take off the glove.
The dark metal with beautiful golden stripes was shining under the bright light of the room. Your mouth slightly opened when you moved each finger with interest. Your gentle hands slid higher, rolling up the sleeve of the red henley Bucky was wearing. It was so smooth, without any sharp details, just an amazing and mind-blowing mechanism.
“That’s so beautiful.” You mumbled in awe. Suddenly the plates under your hands moved, and a quiet whirring sound filled the room. You shot your eyes back at Bucky in shock, only to see that he was already looking at you with so much love that you almost melted. “Did you do that?”
“It’s a new arm, not from Hydra. It reacts to my emotions. No one ever touched it without any fear.” You almost missed that last sentence, but the hurt in Bucky’s voice made you grab his face with your hands to get his whole attention.
“Listen to me, James. I’m not afraid of you. I won’t reject you. You are everything that I want. You still have the biggest and kindest heart of the guy that I met many years ago, and I’ll do everything to prove to you this.” The metal hand carefully touched your hand on the side of his face. “I love you. I love you so much, James.”
“I love you too, Doll. More than anything in this life,” Your lips crushed into each other, now sharing a more passionate and deep kiss. You slightly tilted your head, allowing Bucky to part your lips with his tongue and playfully bite you. It was almost too overwhelming, and you both were completely lost in each other until you finally needed to breathe.
“Stay here with me, please. I don’t want you to leave.” You whined, trying to push your big and strong super soldier onto the bed.
“I won’t leave, baby.” He chuckled, allowing you to push him back. You happily giggled and laid near him, interlacing your bodies together.
You two were just staying in your own little bubble on your bed for what seemed like forever, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, until you finally fell asleep, feeling happy and peaceful in each other's arms.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky x reader#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#marvel#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x y/n
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