#i dont want to get sick of them so i only make them once a month
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Ruby took a few deep breaths as she tried to focus on her comic book, a blush crossing her cheeks as she started to lose a bit of focus. She glanced over towards Weiss and Blake, still not sure what about them kept drawing her to look at them. Her heart fluttered for a brief moment as she looked away, no longer able to focus like before.
“Everything okay, Ruby?” Weiss asked as she looked over. “You’ve been a lot quieter than normal.”
“I-I’m fine,” Ruby said, her voice cracking as she spoke. “I think I’m getting a bit sick.”
“Then maybe I can help-”
“I’m fine!” Ruby quickly got up and made her way to the door. “I’ll be back once I’ve gotten checked.”
“Oh, well, dont be out for too long.”
Ruby nodded and started to make her way down the hall, heart still fluttering as she thought about Weiss and Blake with each step. They way they moved anytime they fought in training, the way their eyes almost seemed to glisten in the light mimicking precious stones and colored glass, and then there was the way they felt when her hands brushed up against their soft hands…
She shook her head to try to get the thoughts out of her head. She needed to focus on class, not on her teammates. And yet, no matter how much she tried, she couldnt get Weiss and Blake out of her head. It was enough to make her fall behind on her studies and struggle with her own training, though she was sure that if she had brought it up to Yang, she’d be told she should have boys on her mind instead.
Instead of making her way to the nurse, Ruby made her way to the training hall to clear her head in the only way she knew how. Training until she could forget about Weiss and Blake no matter how long it took.
“Ruby, where are you going?” Coco asked as she saw Ruby in the halls. “Shouldnt you be studying?”
“I couldnt focus,” Ruby answered as she continued to walk. “So I’m going to clear my head.”
Coco nodded and started to follow Ruby. “Then maybe I can come with you and you can tell me what’s going on.”
“Its nothing-”
“Doesnt sound like nothing to me. I’ve watched you since your initiation, so I can tell when something’s up with you.”
“Its Weiss and Blake.” Ruby paused in her step for a moment as a blush ran over her cheeks. Once again, her teammates filled her mind when she’d prefer they didnt. “I… I cant stop thinking about them. I know we’re all teammates and we need to think about each other, but this feels excessive. I cant focus on school work or training, my grades are starting to suffer and when Weiss brings it up, I cant help but feel terrible for letting her down.”
Coco smiled a bit. “Sounds like you love them.”
Ruby froze at the thought. Loving Weiss and Blake? No, that couldnt be it. Love wasnt an emotion she felt, at least not for people the way others did. She loved weapons, Crescent Rose in particular, the taste of strawberries and cookies, fighting grimm to be a hero like her mother. But to love someone, to love an actual person…
“I-I dont think its anything like that,” Ruby said quietly as she forced the words out as her voice cracked and her heart raced in her chest. The mere thought of Blake and Weiss made her legs feel like jelly and gave her a warmth in her chest that nothing else seemed to. “We’re just good friends, nothing more. Teammates, partners… that sort of thing.”
“Then if that’s the case, you should be able to focus long enough to have a competition with me, right?” Coco asked with a smirk. “If you can destroy more targets than I can, I’ll believe you. If not, then you and I are going to have a long talk.”
“Fine. But I dont see why you’re so interested.”
“Because you remind me of how I am with Velvet. And I dont want to see you make the same mistakes that I’ve been making.”
#rwby#ruby rose#rwby ruby rose#weiss schnee#coco adel#whiterose#ladybug#a small series I'm going to do for Pride of Ruby figuring herself out
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ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.
there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.
#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress#maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without#one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not#part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even#close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous#and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be#they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out#ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long#and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more#and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway#i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way#i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i#want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me#and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty#i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close
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im trying to practice my baking skills and i found the best blueberry muffin/pancake recipes and now i can't stop myself from making them. if there's such a thing as too many blueberries ive probably gone past it
#i dont want to get sick of them so i only make them once a month#i just signed up to a bake sale at work so at least i know what im making#although im torn between cinnamon swirl crumb cake or banana bread or coconut raspberry jam cake#i cant eat any of it since ill be fasting but im on a baking kick
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#feel free to scroll right past this#she really fucked me up. and it’s turned me into a despicable person. and my loved ones are sick of dealing with me.#they’re starting to take my abuser’s side because of how horrible my mental health has been and how i have expressed that#i’m taking accountability for the unfortunate way my friends have gotten caught up in this#but i’m so lost without being able to vent to them or ask for advice#i’m so tired of having panic attacks every day because of what she did to me and the fact that i have to see her next week.#but i have to go get my stuff out of her house.#so i have to drive back to new york and see her#and i’m going alone because i don’t want to be even shittier to the people who love me as a result of my heightened emotions#i’m so scared and i feel so alone and i can’t stop crying or breathe#and i can’t tell my parents the full story because they dont know i was in love with her because i’m still in the closet.#i legitimately have no coping skills and the ones i’ve tried are not working#i’ve completely exhausted my list of friends and i only get to see my therapist once a week#i hate the person i’ve become and everything i try to do to fix it only makes me worse#i don’t know where to go from here.#delete later
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Going to have a breakdown tonight I just know it (it’s not the gift of forsight I have to go to Debs(prom) tonight with a guy I don’t want to go with but I’m doing a favour and he likes me but I just accepted that I’m a lesbian and I don’t want to bring him but him and my family expects me too and I really do not want to do this)
#also I hate like 98% of the school I’m only going for food and get to wear a pretty dress#like. how much of a loser would I be if I brought my DS or Switch or smthing ?? I want to#guy I have to bring also has friends in my school from last year and. he’s gonna talk to them and I DONT want to hang out with them#I didn’t even. like like him last year I just felt weird turning him down yk?#well if it isn’t#the consequences of my own actions#feeling very sick rn so it can only get worse lmaooooo#don’t wish me luck it will not work. wish it to my poor sister instead who probably has to deal with my upcoming 1am breakdown#ohh also. the lesbian thing is real if I havnt said I totally am. whiles worth of development but here it is#this situation is made. 100 times worse because of this fact#also wish Japanese-American Singer Songwriter Mitski luck aswell she will be making thousands from how post tonight will be#-‘Last Words of a Shooting Star and Once More to See You’- will be working overtime tonight#anyway this is a silly rant but whatever lol it’ll be fine
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I have got to get worse at my job cus no way can keep letting them rely on me like this
#work tag#got on shift on Sunday and my manager pulled me aside when i clocked in to say thank god youre here i need you on front theyre an absolute#mess over there theyve got orders waiting nearly twenty minutes i need you to figure out whats going on and whip them into shape i know you#can just get all those order out right away just put them where you want them so you can clear that screen. and i did sort it in under 5#despite there having been 3 people on front before i got there which is more than enough people to deal with just 6 orders and yet#and today several people called in sick and one of my managers asked if i wanted some extra hours i said depends when she was like just#until ten tonight which is only an extra hour later than i finish but ive already expressed im not comfortable finishing at 9 for only a#8 hour shift cus its an hour walk back and thats far to go by myself in the dark but i agreed anyway one of my other managers then asked if#i was okay to get home if i stayed that late cus obviously there must be a reason i dont usually stay that late i was like im only walking#so it doesnt really matter but it is gonna be late to be walking back but its fine manager then comes back again and asks if i could stay#til 11 ive only done an 11 once before when they were understaffed again and she did the same but i was wary to agree to the 11 cus thats#reeeally late to be doing such a long walk by myself again other manager is like you dont have to agree to anything youre not comfortable#with then argued to the manager that ive got to walk home and i shouldnt stay however im thinking it over as i make my break and approach#the actual shift runner for this evening and suggest i stay until 12 instead cus thats when my work bestie is finishing and if we finish at#the same time i can then walk back with her instead of just doing the 10 and honestly i need the hours but i shouldnt be so relied on tbh
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#officially we wont know how things will shake down until next week#but unofficially?? i think i already know. i cant explain how but. i think i know already which direction its gonna go#and its not like i havent been preparing for this for years but . man.#i genuinely dont know how im gonna do this guys. im being so fr.#im just starting to get my feet back under me from losing my friend like that and now im gonna get bowled over again#and its gonna be so much worse. and i dont know how im gonna get a job or fix my fucked gpa or even finish out the semester#im going home in a few weeks and my siblings and i are gonna put pink in our hair for october#and ofc by the time we do that we'll know. one way or another. and thatll be that.#nothing i can do about it. nothing i can do to stop it or make it better.#my brothers are still so fucking young man. my youngest brother doesnt even remember a time when it wasnt like this.#he's only ever known this version of her thats sick and exhausted and hollowed out like she isnt even there most of the time#and man. idk.#really i am so close to snapping and dropping out of school and this might just be what finally breaks the thread. i am being so fr.#winter speaks#personal#and theres so many projects that i want to do but i Know that i wont be able to do any of them for a while once it hits#and just. hhh. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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my graduation is supposed to be in august + im requesting to graduate in absentia but i feel terrible abt it bc im not telling my parents 😑
#just bc if i do tell them they'll probably pressure me into going. and i dont fucking want to its my degree i can celebrate how i like#i wont even be living here in august!! and its a wednesday which is super awkward + im only allowed 2 guests but i have 4 parents lmao#which means i have to choose between my mum and dad. which will end up in hurt feelings either way#and theyre making us pay for our own robes which is stupid bc they literally have like 40k from me already#i cant sit in a stuffy hall through a two hour long ceremony that i wont even be able to hear with no one i know ill commit homicide#no point in doing drinks aftwr bc none of my friends have the same graduation date and i dont drink#like theres not a single reason why i would want to go. so im not going to#but i can already feel how disappointed theyll be.... and theyll be more mad if i dont tell them beforehand but i dont want to debate it!!#ik this is such a stupid thing but its making me stress like hell#ugh#my current plan of attack is not to tell them until they ask abt it and then the decision will be made so they cant do anything abt it#even if theyre upset abt it. but i HATE lying even by omission im the least dishonest person ever this is making me feel sick#and i have to tell them eventually bc ill need to get my diploma delivered to them so arghhhhhh#i technically got my degree over a year ago anyway bc i dropped out this is so dumb#they shouldve just been like sorry no ceremony for dropouts!! and then it wouldnt be my problem#whatever. deadline for registering is at 5 so itll be out of my hands once that passes thank fuck#.diaries#i think im getting unnecessarily worked up abt it bc im just generally in a shitty mood tbh#gonna go for a walk and find somewhere to sit and read outside until i feel more sane i think
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sometimes i really do think recovery is not for me
#personal#when my whole life is spent recovering i dont even get to live. to be human. my whole life is an illness essentially#and it doesnt even help either. ive done so many treatments. taken pill after pill. been hospitalized. and yet im still just a disorder#and thats how most ppl see me. even if im trying my hardest. its NEVER enough for them. im still ''broken''. to be fixed#maybe i just want to be enough for once in my damn life. to not feel like i have to recover in order to feel content with life#im sick of feeling like a project. a lab expirement for others to figure out#you dont have to understand me or what ive been thru to treat me with basic human decency#so with more and more time passing. i really do feel like recovery isnt for me#more that its the only way i feel i could possibly be of any value is if im either rid of my illnesses (which is improbable) or nonexistent#be nonexistent*#just needed to rant. not to anyone but in general. to spill these words since i usually bottle them all in#idc if i make sense or not. im not here for anyone to make sense of. im here to live
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finished my normalcy phase returning to the horrors
#mine#HELLO HELLO whats up yanchamps i am insane again once more god bless. feeling like a yandere prophet returning to his followers#i havent been experiencing The Horrors quite as much still been having ups and downs but normal otherwise#but my brain has been tormenting me a lil bit so i figured i might as well post about it#so i got confessed to recently and my brain exploded out of my head onto the wall and it was like ketchup and everything#brain is unable to process it bc it was from a guy i am not 100% yandere insane over (yet?? maybe?) and its probably not the best decision#since i am not mentally stable or sure about it and other factors. but we are still friends he is very swag and cool i think and enables me#and my yanderism which i post ever so slight morsels of from time to time on main#i mean like it is what i asked for technically? to be loved? cherished even!?!? to be cared for?!??#yet i still am fixated on a guy who treats me like a crumb. sad. literally that one meme#i cannot control which man my brain dissects daily why does it have to be the one who doesnt care about me bruh istg. i mean its not rly#romantic i am just more fixated on him than others? theres way more to it but only so much can be explained in tags. and both these guys#are too old for me anyways. hell on earth. well thats an excuse for me to try and improve more i guess before i rush into anything.#it really sucks that ive waited so long for a serious relationship and everyone who wants one is too old anyways. and those who DONT want#one. well i dont want them they are not committed to the yandere grindset#im getting way better at not being super sick in the head or making rash decisions but those were just some things annoying me<3
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what are you suppose to do when all the coping skills a therapist would teach you arent working
#ABC shut it#trying to self therapy myself sucks but how am i suppose to get better#but none of these skills seems to be working anymore and im just sick of it#sick of feeling depressed and bad all the time#sick of feeling like only bad things happen to me (they do)#(i get my hopes up and encourage myself for once and its always the same outcome of sadness and dissapointment)#like what am i suppose to do when the world is out to get me#and i feel like i havve no one and im so alone#its so bad i justhave a meltdown over every little thing bc nothing in my life NEVER goes right nothing good EVER happens#this is not the depression talking these are facts and tract records#itry and i try and things stuill dont work out for me#i try and make more friends and i feel like they all just think im annoying and wish i wouldnt talk to them#like i know i cant except to be talked to first but what am i suppose to do when i try to engage and im just talked over and ignored#or i get thevibe the person doesnt actually like me or is talking to me anyways just to get it over with#and and the paranoia is bad on top of just the general depressionbut what am i suppose to do abt it if i feel i cant talk to anyone abt it#bc all i do is complain but what do i have to talk abt if my life is boring and nothign interseting happens to me#the only interesting thing abt me is i know ppl who have way more interesting lives then me and are more successful than me#like what am i suppose to do when i want to kill myself but cant bc all the ways to kill yourself sound fucking horrible ways to go out
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i am. making a mistake
#my posts#im. very depressed. in a bad state. and also ill and unsure if im actually becoming feverish. and its midnight#i. am struggling emotionally and with a class and with motivation and i guess im also underwhelmed#like i have. shit to do. and things id rather be doing. im doing none im just sitting there feeling useless#i. just told a classmate i didnt start my assignment at all yet not even read the material#and he said it makes sense you were a bit sick im sure youll feel better and be able to do it#and i told him that hes wrong bc i would have been able to at least read the material before getting sick#and that if i was doing okay i would still be in the same situation#i. i dont. think i should be having this conversation with him#i dont. know why im doing this. i want to kms#i mean he has talked to me once when he was struggling he broke the mental illness barrier but i dont think i should be passing it either#i feel like i should stop saying whatever the fuck i am saying idk why i started idk if its too late for that#editing my tags to ad more bc i dont want to make another postabout this#yes i made a mistake. idk how to reply without going further into the conversation#'you could do what you told me and do the text to speech thing you sometimes do when you struggle to focus' my guy. my man. i cant#idk what to tell him that isnt an 'i cant even start that i can only open the documents i cant do more than that' i made a mistake#idk how to lie my way out of this idk how to just say 'yeah i should do that' or something and thats it#i mean i guess i do want to have someone to tell them how im actually doing but i dont. think its the right thing to do#also i want to throw up and cry and die and if i knew where our thermometers were id check my temperature#yeah my brain is barely working so since i feel my options are actually answer or ask him to forget i asked#i am asking him to forget i asked#i do feel awful and stupid but i dont think actually replying is good and i dont have another way to do so
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#i can remember for all of my life any sor of affection was foreign to me#and never felt right#i have never been hugged by my parents they were always working to keep the house#my sister and cousin raised me the best they could but even they werent affectionate#i still remember when i got hugged by my tia on the last day we had our old house#that was the only the 2nd time i was probably hugged in so long#i really can't remember ever being embraced by my mom or even comforted by them#at least when i was sick my grandma would help me get better but even then#i was just left in a room all day until they got home in the afternoon and only saw them in the morning before they went to worm#and once they got bacj from work they were to tired to take care of me#i STILL remember being 8 years old with a cold having to make my own soup cause no one was home and erika had grown up to be so mean to me#so she nevr took care of me n stayed in her room... man i still remember feeling so lonely and wondering what it felt like to be cared for#its probably why when my mom would get sick i would automatically look to take care of her just to hear a thank you son#only to never hear a thank you son or you're such a wonderful son or anything positive just a grunt and a nod...#man thinking of my childhood makes me wonder why i dont remember it at all#did i disassociated do most of my childhood cause i only remember the bad parts which was a majority of my childhood#the only things i remember that were good was when my dad would take me to the movies every Saturday to try and get to know me#but then that stopped when it became an inconvenience to him and instead he wanted to go drink at his moms house with his family#i swear thinking back now i realized why i was so attached to any sign of kindness
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Imagine you get cheated on...BUT- the cheater turns kinda...yandere?
It felt like an awful nightmare. Bile rising in your throat as you looked at your lover - the person who you loved through their highest and their lowest, the person who you invested blood sweat and tears into, the person you promised yourself to - undoubtedly pressing their lips to another person's. It took a hot minute before you tried to step back, only for you to bump into the doorway, causing a loud thump. The two looked at you, one with horror, the other with confusion. It took you no time to turn around and make a run for it. A hiccup making its way out of your throat as you felt a sob start to shake through your body.
It's been afew months, well. More then few months since that incident, and safe to say you have been doing...fine. not great, but fine. You've decided to collect your things while your lover was away from the house, your friends and family helping you out as you found a new place to live. It was bare bones, considering you didn't take the shared couch, or tv, dressers, not even bed. But it was yours, and you've been getting by. You'd like to think you've gotten stronger.
That was until odd things started happening around your apartment. Things were being moved, shit you know you wouldn't misplace. Your clothes were going missing, much to your dismay. You barely had any, so to lose even one shirt was frustrating. Then roses started appearing in vases in your home. Seeing as actual items were showing up you decided to call the police, and when it seemed that the window to your bedroom was broken, seemingly from an outside force, they told you to invest in better security as they kept a look out.
Which is why you were going to the store so late at night, I mean, what could go wrong?
bad decision, you later decided as you looked at the scene infront of you. Your throat tight, bile rising, just like that night, the night you lost your true love. In front of you was your lover - now ex - looming disheveled, gasping for air as their voice broke, a small, unnerving, almost crazed look, crossing their features.
"My love, my everything, oh please-"
"Dont."
Your lip trembles as you step back, your look of surprise quickly turning into that of anger. They had no right to call out to you with such fondness, not after what they put you through. The pain and suffering, all due to the person who swore to love you.
A look of hurt crossed their face at the sight of you backing away from them, as if you kicked a puppy. The idea sickened you. Quick to try and close the space once more as they struggled to walk straight they would stumble forward. Their voice trembling as they fell to their knees, a whimper coming from them as they scrambled to grab at your sweatpants.
"Please - my love I beg of you, I know what i did was sin, I know - I've never been more sick in the mind then i was that night, oh I was so stupid, thinking I could ever so much as THINK of another woman! Even more so after wards, how could I think I could ever live without you??? You! Oh precious you, the sun only shines when you are near. Those next few weeks were torture my dear, I've never wanted anything more then to RIP MY SKIN OFF WHEN I REALIZED MY MISDEEDS."
Their insane rambling continued as you tried to shove them off, tears starting to stream down their gaunt cheeks. Had they been eating? You wondered as you tried to get them off you.
"I'm...i'm better now though! I've never been thinking clearer, I came to a realization life isn't worth living without you! But by then- you...- you had already left, I tore through that house to try and find you but you had already been far gone. I asked your family, your friends - but all of them simply turned me away, your LOVER - isn't that what I am? I am, aren't i?? They should've...they-"
You couldn't listen to this anymore. A disgusted feeling filling your gut. What did you ever see in them?? You quickly shoved them away, a small gasp coming from them as you stepped away, your ex lover falling backwards onto the sidewalk. A look so firey resting on your face it could rival the heat from the depths of hell.
"You lost that right. You lost it the moment you took that person into your arms, the moment you brought them into our home, the moment you pressed your lips against theirs."
They seemed dumbfounded, sobs starting to wash over their body as they tried to sputter out apologies. But you had none of it.
"Did you get a kick out of it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me jealous as you placed your hands on that person's? Your lips on them? When i left did you just go right back to kissing on them? Fucking them??"
You spat at them, your ex lover crying their heart out as they struggle to breathe. Whether it be from guilt or heartbreak, you weren't sure. They shook their head as they continued to cry, trying once again to reach out to you, to hold onto you for that comfort you once so readily gave them. But you stepped back, putting space between you once more. A scoff coming from you as you did so
"Baby please don't do this to me, please please please-"
Their voice wavered heavily. Some part of you, the part buried deep down in your heart, ached at the sight of them so broken down. They looked ill, both mentally and physically. But what done was done. You quickly turned on your heels as you made your way home. Your ex lovers cries filling the street as he urged you to come back, to not leave him. To not abandon him.
Maybe some sick part of you felt good that you left them a blubbering mess, after all. They rept what they sown, did they not?
Little did you know, oh how blissfully unaware you were. They were gonna get you back, one way or another. They will have you back in their arms, with all those roses they left in your apartment in pretty vases all over your newly bought home in the woods, far from everyone.
They will have you be their's again.
that corpse that once used to be their side piece left rotting under the concrete of their basement proves it.
#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere#yandere x reader#yancore#yan x reader#yandere oc#oc yandere#yandere insert#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere fic#yandere blurb#yandere angst#x reader#angst scenario#angst imagine#gender neutral y/n#gender neutral reader
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Yandere batfam with a sick reader?
Yes but sick reader who is still defiant because hello, they kidnapped you?????
Reader is just glaring at them with tired eyes and a red nose as they once again tuck her under the covers, Dick is highly worried as he frets over you like a mama hen because he did have a heart attack when he caught you standing in front of your open window, where "harsh" gusts of cold air were "attacking your fragile form", so of course, he had to drag you in and wrap his arms around you, rub his cheek against you because he NEEDS to warm you immediately, lest you die of hypothermia.
Yes, Dick overreacts. And yes, Damian will accompany his brother in his delusions, or well, take any chance he gets to scold you.
"You should be in bed, Y/n." Damian said sternly, his eyes narrowed because how dare you worry his favourite brother like this. "Didn't Dick tell you to rest? Are you that incapable of following simple commands?"
You narrowed your eyes back at him, opening your mouth to say something mean but got cut off by your own coughing fit, making Dick rush to help you drink some water, rubbing your back along it. Your throat felt scractchy, and it hurt to speak, but you still wanted to convey your feelings so-
You flipped him off. For a nano second, because Dick immediately grabbed your hand and tucked it back under the covers while Damian's eyes widened at you disrespect, but before he could make any more gremlin noises, but Bruce walked in and Damian knew better than to complain to him about you when youre already sick, cause Bruce wouldve still favoured you.
"Y/n? How do you feel now?" Bruce asked, his voice gentle as he walked closer to where Dick was throwing away your mountain of tissues.
"Im fine. I wanna go out-" "No." "And why not?" "Because youre sick." "You may be Batman, but youre not a doctor!" "I am your father though."
No, youre not. You wanted to say, but knew that would only piss him off and you need to be on his good side if you want Dick and the others to be off your back so that you can escape.
"Whats her temperature?" Bruce asked Dick, who put a thermometer in your mouth quickly. Dick sighed as he told Bruce how you were out of bed and standing in your balcony in the cold just moments ago.
Bruce placed a palm over your forehead, and you tried to move away but there wasnt really any space or energy for you to do that. Bruce's eyes shifted the slightest bit at your burning forehead. "Why do you insist on getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor? Ive already had to pick you up 3 times in the past 2 days."
You pulled out the thermometer and glared at him. "Im fine. Its just sniffles." Bruce's lip quirked a little. You looked absolutely adorable in your delirious state, like an angry kitten.
"I dont think its just sniffles this time. And-" Bruce pulled the thermometer from your hands that you were hiding under the covers. "-dont hide the thermometer from me." His eyes scanned it and the twitch in his brow was enough for Dick to know that the number was too high.
Bruce then eyed the cough syrup next to your side table- its still full.
"Why havent you been taking your medicine?"
"Im not sick-"
"White paint has more color than you do right now. So why havent you been taking the medicine?" Bruce asked and even though he was a little annoyed, he had enough practice dealing with the other kid's rebellious phases to have the patience of a saint.
You shrugged. "How do I know its just cough syrup and not a sedative?" "It is a sedative too. Its supposed to make you sleepy." "Well, I dont wanna sleep and let my guard down in a house full of 5 strange men." You obviously never counted Alfred- hes the only normal one here- except for the part that he wont call the cops for you, but oh well.
Bruce just casted a look to Dick and before you knew it, Dick was pinching your nostrils close and titling your head up while Bruce grabbed the syrup and poured some in your mouth before clamping his hand over it. You struggled to break free, but you were obviously no match to them. Still, tears of frustration pricked your eyes as you looked at them in betrayal and hatred.
"Drink this and dont argue with me, please." Bruce said- well, he genuinely requested at this point.
You didnt have much of a choice other than swallowing it.
With a defiant glare, you begin closing your eyes as your body gave into the effects of the drug, the last thing that you felt were Bruce kissing your forehead while Dick pecked your cheek.
Jason finally decides to drop by the Wayne manor, only to be greeted with the sight of reader lying on the kitchen floor. His heart stopped for a moment- you werent breathing-
"Y/n!" He rushed to your side, only to be smacked in the face by you.
"Shush. Dont be too loud." Your voice sounded like sandpaper against rocks.
Jason huffed. "Well, sorry for freaking out. I thought you were dead-"
"From a cough? Im not weak."
"Yeah? So, what exactly are you doing on the cold floor in the middle of the night?"
"..."
"Well?"
"What? So I cant even take a nap in this house? Jesus Christ, am I allowed to have any autonomy here?"
"Y/n." Jason called, clearly unamused by your sarcasm.
"Fine. I may have fallen and then didnt have the energy to get up, so im just catching my breath here."
"Why are you even out of bed?"
"I was hungry and Im not gonna drink another spoon of Alfred's bland soup again." Alfred made it bland on purpose so that your throat wouldnt be irritated.
"Please stop wasting whats left of your voice on complaints of the soup that you cant even taste." Jason chuckled as he picked you up, only for you to push at his chest weakly.
"I dont need your help. I can walk on my own."
Jason quirked a brow. "If you can make it to the front door without fainting or throwing up, I'll help you escape." You stared at the front door- it wasnt too far, but judging by the fact that its even hard for you to breathe properly and that youve fainted way too many times by just standing for more than a couple of minutes.
But youre stubborn. With great effort, you pushed yourself off Jason and used the kitchen island to pull yourself up. Jason decided to walk in front of you and stand near the kitchen exit because he really wanted to see your struggling face.
You took a trembling step, then another, one hand still using the support of the island until it ended and you were only a couple of feet away from Jason. At this point, you were already out of breath and when you took another step, your legs gave out and the room began spinning.
Luckily, Jason was quick to react. "Alright, just place your arm around mine- or just fall on me, that works too." He teased when you couldnt hold your body weight.
You slumped in his arms. "Just take me to my room." You huffed.
"Alright." Jason lifted your legs up and carried you back up the stairs. "You know you'd get better a lot faster if you just stayed in bed and took your medicine on time. Wouldnt that make your chances of escaping the manor better?"
You stared at him blankly. "Wow. The world must be ending for Jason Todd to be making logical suggestions."
Jason rolled his eyes as he tucked you in bed. "Im just saying, if you get better faster, you'll get to try running from us quicker too."
How do you explain to him that you just dont want to comply to them, even when they're helping you. How do you explain that you dont wanna listen to them because the soft pitiful, patronising look they get in their eyes when they look at you makes you wanna scream and carve your skin out. These are strangers, rich men who just kidnapped you to be a part of their family. No one is that kind. And nothing ever comes for free. Nothing.
"Do you need something? Food, perhaps?" Jason asked. You shook your head. "No, I think Im gonna throw up."
"Oh shit." Jason was hauling his ass out of the room t get you a bucket, only to return with a backpack.
You barely held your puke as you asked. "Wait- whose is this?"
"I dont know!? Damian's?!"
You grinned. "Oh, perfect." You proceeded to throw up into Damian's bag. That little shit just got on your nerves.
BONUS:
"I know you have attachment issues with your blanket but its been a couple of days now and you need to let me wash it." Dick said, trying to tug it out of your grip.
You sniffled and glared. "Im not a child who needs their blankie, Dick. Im just too cold without it and no other blanket can warm me up the same way it does."
"Give the blankie, Y/n." Dick said seriously.
"Its not a blankie." You retorted, but before you could react, Tim suddenly grabbed you while Dick ripped away the blanket. And even though he immediately replaces it with a clean blanket, you still let out a gut wrenching cry
"You'll have it back tomorrow-" Tim starts saying, only for you to sneeze directly in his face, making him freeze.
"And that's why we use tissues." Dick says, wiping both your nose and Tim's face with tissues, while you're not making any effort to suppress the grin that comes on your lips.
#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd x reader#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere tim drake
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