#yet i still am fixated on a guy who treats me like a crumb. sad. literally that one meme | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zpetlovesglitter · 3 years

Text

The Wicked Powers Theories

The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).

aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).

So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.

1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at. And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN- AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.

2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?

King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.

This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/

So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.

I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:

-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.

-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.

-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.

-The peeps go on a quest.

And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did

Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.

(I’ve linked it with the text above.)

So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)

-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?

3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD

4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.

5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES. Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....

6)Ash Morgenstern. He’s a cute lil bean. That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.

7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(? ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.

8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)

9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY

10)Janus I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T

11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((

12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.

13)Zara and Emma Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(

15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years . Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???

16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt! Good for you :). and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him 17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM

18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH

45 notes · View notes

notelizabeth · 7 years

Text

New Years (As told by the daughter of an addict)

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or rather I do, but that’s a very long, complicated path that I’m a long way from being able to navigate.

Everyone around me is happy. I’m supposed to be happy. I’m supposed to be happy and smiling and laughing. Yelling. Stumbling. Drunk. Just like everyone else.

It’s New Years Eve, the grand finale to all of the social gatherings and holiday parties that kiss yet another awful year goodbye with a middle finger on one hand and a shot of vodka in the other. It’s the final exclamation point that punctuates the end of the struggles and triumphs in our previous chapter, and insists on an exciting new tone for the next unwritten sentences to come. It is the celebration of the highs. It is the defiance of the lows.

It is the best holiday to get absolutely wasted off our asses. For those whose paths aren't riddled with the specific twists and obstacles that I’m familiar with, at least. My obstacles keep me all the way at the other end of this metaphorical path, away from the party, away from my friends, away from the fun. I can still see it all happening. You know, the smiling and laughing. yelling. stumbling. drunk. I just can’t connect to it. I can’t join in. I’m too far away. Even if I choose to intoxicate myself, the separation that these obstacles create still nags at me. And while these intoxicants can make some of the obstacles more bearable, I am still unable to complete this path. I am still unable to be with the rest of my peers at the end. I am still unable to be a part of this society that seems to revolve so heavily around alcohol.

If you hadn’t figured it out by now, I do not have a regular relationship with alcohol (or really any substance, for that matter). What you’re less likely to know is why.

I was born into what seemed to be your perfect, picture frame family. Charming mother, handsome father, and beautiful older sister. I don’t think you need me to tell you it wasn’t only what it looked like, but I’ll say so anyway. It wasn’t only what it looked like.

Mom wasn’t home, Dad didn’t step up, and Sister did the best a little girl could do with parents like ours. Dad was angry. Mom was drinking. Dad was quiet. Mom was doing drugs. Sister was rightfully probably resentful. I was confused. I was frustrated. I was scared. Mom divorced Dad, Dad moved out.

Mom kept using. Mom swore she could do it. Mom was always sick. Mom was always hurt. Sister got angrier. I was confused.

Mom kept using. Mom swore she could handle it. Mom got an abusive boyfriend. Sister left for college, and I was left to watch my mother deteriorate even further. I was there, abused by what she wouldn’t give up. Abused by what seemed to love more than me. By those same things and people that abused her too. I was frustrated.

Mom kept using. Mom swore she knew what she was doing. Laughing. Yelling. Stumbling. Drunk. Every minute was relentless fear. Will she make it home alive tonight? Will she wake up tomorrow? Can I get her to the hospital somehow? Can they save her? What’s happening? I was scared.

Mom kept using. Mom swore she was fine. Laughing. Yelling. Stumbling. Drunk. Mom couldn’t walk. Mom couldn’t talk. Mom couldn’t stay conscious. Mom could’t take herself to the bathroom. So I had to drag her, naked and hallucinating on all fours. Laughing. Yelling. Stumbling. Drunk.

Mom kept using. Mom swore I shouldn’t worry.

Mom died.

So now I never stop worrying. And while I know what my obstacles are and try over and over to tackle them, I am not strong enough yet. Most of the time, I feel I’ve expelled so much energy trying, I have little left to even participate from my end of this path all the way over here. Because I see everyone else. Laughing. Yelling. Stumbling. Drunk. And my obstacles attack.

Everyone yells cheers to another round of drinks, another set of shots. But I can’t share their joy. All I can fixate on is the mud tracked on the tile or the drink splashed on the table or the crumbs on the counter. Maybe I should clean that up. And then there’s that guy slouched over on the couch, red solo cup in hand. Maybe I should make sure he doesn’t spill that. And then the worst impulses: Maybe I should keep that person from having more. Maybe I need to keep that person from driving, even if they’ve had very little to drink at all. Even if they swear they can do it, if they swear they can handle it, if they swear they know what they’re doing, if they swear I shouldn’t worry.

I know none of these people are my mother. I know most of them very well, and I trust most of them too, but something in me feels too responsible for the mother I could not keep alive. For the mother I have become in the process.

And people do ask me if I want to join in. Y’know, take some shots, play some rage cage or shot pong. I want more than anything just to say Hell yeah! and try to be a part of the fun, because somewhere in me, there’s a big part that’s still a normal twenty-something who totally wants to get smashed and brag about not remembering what I did the night before. But all too often, another part of me wins out, and I end up being the kind of person who rolls their eyes at any stories that start with, “Oh my god, I was so drunk last night…” or “I was so wasted this one time…”

Anything that glamorizes consuming substances to excess or treats it like a joke. (this includes printing “cheaper than therapy” on flasks and other jokes of this variety.) Which to most other people just means I have an enormous stick up my ass, but hey, I’m doing the best I can. I wish I could stand the appropriation and normalization of the behaviors that killed my mom and stole the person she was long before I ever got to know her.

So tonight, I sit out and watch as I try to keep my PTSD under control instead of being “normal” and feeling included in the fun like everyone else. I isolate, hiding in the unpopulated corners and rooms in the house where no one will find me losing my mind. I force myself back into the party, even though I know nobody would notice my absence. I fight my obstacles. I fight, and I fight, and I fight until I run out and I can’t hide my feelings of sadness and discomfort anymore. So with six minutes left until midnight, I feel I have no better choice than to exchange goodbyes with everyone and race to leave. I know, of course this means I will not welcome the new year surrounded by those I love, but I can’t bear the thought of ruining such a good time because of my previous traumas yet again. So I have to put on a good face and leave as cleanly as I can. And even then, it’s messy.

My boyfriend follows me out, knowing that I’m struggling despite my best efforts throughout the night. By the time I duck into my car, I hear everyone from inside the house counting down, and my heart sinks, knowing that I’ve taken another good night away from this boy. He swears that it’s fine. He swears I shouldn’t worry. But I can’t help but feel he’ll resent me for it soon enough.

So I end up alone once again. And I have no one to blame but myself. And as I drive home in the dark, I wonder how many holidays I will have to spend either alone or struggling. I wonder what my mom would think if she knew I’d turn out this way. I wonder if I can ever be different. I’m waiting now for the day when I am strong enough to exist rather than suffer, and then maybe the day when I can belong rather than exist in a world that seems so romanced by drugs and alcohol.

#personal

2 notes · View notes