#i dont particularly want to reread all that but. i probably will have to
Note
Hi! Love your work! I dont know if your requests are open but Id love to see more of your Haikyuu work! Loved the the recent one and i just cant stop rereading it.
I wonder what would happen if reader was hit on by one of the other volleyball players before/after the matches. I just wanna see the three boys get jealous and protective honestly hahahd ofc if you dont want to write this its okay too! ( Ps. I also love ur Daisuke one, i love him hes so cute 🥰🥺 cant wait to see more of ur work )
drabble...aftermath of Karasuno
taglist : @ayuxiru @tehyunnie @rainnyydaysworld @webwanderer
i stopped working on my haikyuu fics bc i started s4 and i could NOT see atsumus face HAHHAHH idky i HATE HIM ARGH/jk. We love Daisuke in this household. Can anyone tell Daichi is my favourite? HAHA
this will be the last one for the crows CAW CAW
harassed, dark in general
Find out more under the cut!
[SCENARIOS LOADING...]
Another team harasses the manager!
[START SCENE]
"Hey! Karasuno's manager! Don't make such an ugly face."
A certain (h/c) frowned, being cornered by tall volleyball players from other schools. He had just went to retrieve the paper rosters from the organizers for their current tournaments at the Sendai Gymnasium where Preliminaries are being held when he was stopped by students from other schools.
"You look like you don't have a lot on your hands right now. Why don't you come with us? Free some tension...you probably need it." A hand grasped (m/n)'s shoulders to which the (h/c) swatted it away. "Don't touch me." He hissed as he tried to move past them but another shoved him back against the walls, them moving closer to the manager.
"Hey hey. We're all friends here, right?" Hissing in pain as the hand lodged in his shoulder pressed his nails further, crinkling his black jumpsuit. "Listen here, fucker. I don't know what household you grew up in, but go ride someone else's dick. Better yet, why don't you go suck each other off? Since you're so desperate for some action."
(m/n) spat, his foul mouth and his temper wasn't a good combination but it was the right mixture for this situation. He pushed the players' arm and was ready to leave until his hair was clenched painfully.
A yelp from (m/n) and the ringleader of the group pulled his face close. "Nice face but a repulsive tongue...damn and I thought we could do this nicely. We'll find a use for your mouth soon." "Let go, asshole-"
Fuck, who do they think they are? The only one grabbing my hair is usually-
"I suggest you let him go."
A heavy voice uttered from behind them, catching the attention of the group. Asahi clasped the hand that seized (m/n)'s head. "Before I break your wrist." He muttered with a death glare, the light in his eyes gone.
"Fuck! Is he the coach or something?!" One of them whispered, scanning his mature features. Someone grasped (m/n)'s hand, pulling him away from the group. "Learn how to take a hint when someone says they don't like you." Sugawara pushed the manager behind him.
"Or go die in some random dump, you trash."
He stated blandly, his voice losing any cheery tone he would always carry. How ironic. (m/n) could never be more glad that the third years were here, clenching the papers in his hand. He felt someone gently pull his bicep.
"Go." Daichi muttered. "The team's around the corner. Go see Kiyoko for..." He brushed (m/n)'s head, where his hair was tousled.
The only one who would usually, or rather the only one, grabbing (m/n)'s head, tugging his hair, digging their nails into his scalp was Daichi Sawamura.
The (h/c) didn't think twice to leave the scene, not leaving a glance to the yelling players who had harassed him, Daichi particularly approaching the one who had pulled (m/n)'s hair.
-
He didn't want to be here anymore, (m/n) lazily draped himself across the railings. Only one manager was allowed on the benches so he and Yachi had to sit up in the audience' seats but he asked for some alone time from Yachi, her concerned about him after hearing that he was disturbed by a team from another school earlier.
Hinata had jumped up and about when (m/n) returned to their team, demanding to know who had hurt his friend and Kiyoko checked his scalp, making sure nothing was broken and everything was fine. Tanaka was adamant on being a good senior and wanting to avenge his manager so he went to help the third years who were confronting the aggressors but immediately retreated, staying quiet when Ennoshita asked what they were up to.
The games started and the first match went well, battling up against a two meter player. Daichi didn't speak to him yet. (m/n) noticed a bruise forming on Asahi's jaw and Sugawara only smiled at him quietly.
Second game came around and (m/n) held back a flight of curses from his mouth when the team Karasuno had to play against were the same players who had cornered him earlier, their captain glaring holes into Daichi. He noticed a few of them were missing, specifically the bitchy ringleader.
"Hey, (m/n). Thought you'd be down there this time."
Oikawa approached his cousin, leaning onto the railings in a similar fashion to the (h/c). "I guess all third years in your team is staying huh." He poked (m/n). "Yeah." He mumbled. "Looks like yours too."
(e/c) glanced at the Seijoh team that were currently watching over Karasuno's briefing by their coach. He noticed a new player. Someone that has a tennis ball for a head.
"Well, we're gonna beat Shiratorizawa this year. I'm gonna show Ushiwaka who's boss." "You say that at every game." The setter slapped (m/n)'s back, the latter yelping and smacking his laughing cousin. "So gloomy and for what? Your team seems to be energetic-...well they're playing more aggressive than usual."
Asahi slammed the ball set by Kageyama, earning a point as the libero was unable to receive the spinning ball. The ace looked furious, his eyebrows furrowing as he asked Kageyama for a faster set. Sugawara was itching to get on the court, pacing around, warming his legs up so he could be ready when he had a chance to play. Daichi was silent, his usual words of affirmation to the team gone. Only Tanaka and Nishinoya cheering when they won a point.
"We're going to win. Against them at least." Daichi muttered, his eyes gazing up at (m/n) when Coach Ukai took a timeout and asked what was wrong and why their play styles had differ today.
(m/n) stared back but quickly looked away when he felt butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't tell what those insects were trying to tell him. Daichi had warmed his bed a lot for the past month, even his parents assumed he was his boyfriend by how often he had came over to his house.
Karasuno won a fast game. Two sets straight, 25 - 17 and 25 - 13. The last set where all the third years were deployed went by quick, Asahi shining as the MVP.
"Well, that's my cue. I wonder when we'd play against you, it'd be any different." "....It will." Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Thought you'd support me this time. Given how your team lost on our last match." "But they'll win."
(m/n) peered at Oikawa, from the corner of his eyes. "My team will win beating yours, Tooru." The setter only stared down at the manager with a smirk.
"What's with the change of heart?" "..."
He didn't reply, only getting up to greet the team as he stood in the hallways, letting Hinata crash into him. Sugawara pulled the middle blocker off of him. "Now now. Stop causing trouble or Takeda-sensei won't let us watch the other teams play." They were done for the day and as requested by Kageyama, they went to see Seijoh's match.
Sugawara held (m/n) behind however, letting the team go first as they stood in an isolated staircase. He ran his fingers through (h/c) hair, his eyes squinting at the manager as he smiled reassuringly. "I hope you're alright, (m/n). We beat them for you. Those idiots. People who have nothing else to do but lay their waste on innocents like you."
The (h/c) hummed uneasily, leaning his head on the setter's shoulders and his fingers clutching onto the latter's jersey. "I didn't mean to talk to them. They cornered me." "I know, I know." Sugawara cooed, his other hand caressing (m/n)'s back.
A similar but earlier incident had happened, whereas a student confessed to the (h/c), who declined but Hinata excitedly told the team and Sugawara had an outburst in private, accusing (m/n) of cheating behind their backs despite them having no declaration, only taming (m/n) into their current relationship.
"Did I ever scare you? You look at me like I'm going to snap your neck at any second." The setter teased, his hand trailing over (s/c) neck, his fingertips pressing onto (m/n)'s Adam's apple. "No. You wouldn't." That was a bluff.
He had learned that Sugawara had the most violent tantrums out of the three. Paranoid, spiralling about what (m/n) does when he wasn't around. The (h/c) had learned what to say, what to do overtime, to ease the third year.
Said third year smiled at him. "If anyone ever approaches you, like earlier, scream our names okay." He always made sure to include Daichi and Asahi. "Remember, you're our favourite."
He winked at the (h/c) who didn't give much of a reaction, only hugging the setter. Was there any difference between those assholes and the third years in Karasuno? Both of those groups forced him, into these uneasy situations, Karasuno taking a longer approach.
Crows tend to build their nests with meticulous resolve, choosing the right twigs and taking the softest materials for the lining. Karasuno did live up to their name, (m/n) completely accepting his predicament, laying in the den Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi had woven for him.
Sugawara pulled (m/n)'s face up, smiling at him before pressing his lips to the (h/c) who opened his mouth when the setter swiped his tongue on his lips. "Let me hear you, (m/n)." The setter muttered as he pressed his wet muscle against (m/n)'s caressing his palate and pressing their bodies closer.
"Mmnff ahh! N-Not here Suga- ahk!" (m/n) choked when he felt a hand cupping his crotch, his breath shaky and coming out in stutters as he pushed Sugawara's chest. His cheeks were hot and he clenched his fist on Suga's jersey.
"Hahaha is it because we're in public? You'd be much more in trouble with Asahi then." The setter pulled away, letting (m/n) breathe as he dragged him up the stairs and they stepped into the auditorium seating. "Go. You owe me a date for this." He kissed the (h/c)'s forehead before pushing him to the row where Asahi and Daichi were.
The setter walked past them, opting to sit beside the second years, distracting them when they asked where was the manager. Said manager stood nervously, Asahi and Daichi silent, both of them sat in the furthest behind row, whereas everyone was sitting close to the railings to watch the games.
Usually (m/n) had no problem conversing with them, the third years constantly talking first but here they are staying silent. "...Good game." He referred to the two sets they stole from those assholes.
The captain didn't even look at him, only staring into space with a frown on his face. Asahi spared him a glance before beckoning the (h/c) to sit next to him. But as he was about to sit, the brunette pulled his arm, making him land in Asahi's lap instead.
"Huh? What are you-" He was silenced by Daichi's glance, his heart racing as Asahi adjusted him, placing him directly on top his crotch. "Sorry, (m/n)." The ace buried his face into the (h/c)'s shoulders. "Let me borrow you for a bit."
Here? In public? Where anyone could see him being used like a fucking-
His hands shook as he tried to peel himself off Asahi, but the latter only tightened his hold, crushing his waist with his muscular arms. "I'm sorry." The brunette mumbled apologies and (m/n) could feel his erection pressing up against his pants. He prayed the others wouldn't turn around. Daichi didn't move a finger, (m/n) couldn't read his face as he hopelessly squirmed in Asahi's lap.
He's going to see. He's going to look at me and see me like this.
His heart was beating fast, the ace still breathing heavily behind him and grinding his bottom on him. Daichi still didn't give any reaction. (m/n) felt his heartstrings pulled as the captain didn't give a damn of what was happening to him. Unintentionally, he glorified- favoured? Treasured the ravenette the most, the one who always seemed so distant from him yet was so close and quick to clog his throat-
Tears welled up in his (e/c) eyes as he turned his face away when he saw Tsukishima glanced at him from the corner of his sight. He genuinely prayed that no one else would see him in this shameful state.
Asahi stopped bucking his hips when a high pitched heave escaped from the (h/c)'s throat, (m/n) holding in a sob as he carved his nails into the ace's arm. "Shh...it's fine. No one saw anything. They just think you're sitting on me." He whispered into the manager's ear who shook his head. Tsukishima saw him and he was one of the smart ones. The rest of Karasuno hadn't seen but what about the other teams? Strangers who might pass by their rows. He hated how his three seniors didn't give a damn about his pride.
Asahi didn't make himself obvious, he just wanted to loose some steam is all. In the end, he did use (m/n) like those harassers did albeit tamer than expected but the intentions were there nonetheless. (m/n) whimpered endlessly as he was placed to sit on the cushioned seat in the same one as the ace, still with Asahi seated close behind him. (s/c) hands trembled as he peered at the captain who cruelly ignored him the entire time.
A tear slipped down his cheek as Asahi cooed at him, apologising and kissing his ears while rubbing his waist. Ensuring the (h/c) that he didn't even got off or anything as he whispered sweet nothings with his apparent boner pressing against (m/n)'s back. The manager was much more prone to crying when they were in public.
His hands hugged Azumane's as he leaned back into the ace's body, his attempt to hide his figure as he pulled on the ace's black jacket. "Hic- you're so fucking- mean to me." (m/n) whined as Asahi peppered kisses all over his face, his stubble scratching against his skin.
"I won't do it again." The ace muttered, placing his chin on the manager's head. (m/n) peered up and noticed the forming bruise. His fingers went to delicately trace them. "I knocked his teeth out." Asahi mumbled.
"Would've done more if their manager hadn't come running." (m/n) flinched when he heard Daichi utter. The first he spoke around the (h/c) after the whole harassment he suffered.
Coarse rough fingers covered his eyesight, a fingertip pressing against his right eye lightly, brushing his lashes and the ace placed his face down where (m/n) had his hair violently tugged. "Tell me if you want him to lose more."
(m/n) didn't say anything, only nodding as he let the ace touch his body, caressing his chest and inhaling his scent. He didn't feel bad for the attackers at all. They dug their own grave for being assholes.
He caught Daichi staring at him, the captain still facing straight but his eyes gazed into the (h/c)'s face as he slowly returned his focus back onto Seijoh's match.
(m/n) managed to pull himself off of the ace when the games were over and Karasuno was preparing to leave. He made sure he avoided Tsukishima, not wanting to answer any of his probing questions. He had went ahead to wash the water bottles at a pipe when he heard footsteps behind him.
He looked behind him to see Daichi with the bottle carrier, the captain picking up the clean ones and placing it in its stations while (m/n) finished up the last one. A rare act of kindness from the captain to the (h/c). "Are there any others left?" (m/n) shook his head to Daichi's question.
The captain staring at him with dead eyes and (m/n) noticed the small blot of red on the edge of his knuckles. He didn't say anything, carefully pulling Daichi's hand and placing it under the tap, letting the water flow and washing the ravenette's hand.
Said ravenette stared down at him with his usual silence. At times like this, (m/n) could never tell what the captain was thinking. Was he observing on what he would do? No. Daichi was too confident in his...work. Of what he made of (m/n) (l/n).
Maybe he expected it. (s/c) fingers rubbed the knuckles, ridding the smell of blood and dirt as Daichi stood directly behind the manager. "Did they hurt you?" The manager shook his head again. "I'm fine. They didn't do much."
He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head, the captain glaring holes at the part where they pulled (m/n)'s hair. "It's good for you to know."
Know what? The manager wanted to ask but opted to stay quiet instead. He could feel Daichi leaning into his (h/c) hair, them letting the faucet run under their intertwined hands.
"No one else can hurt you." (m/n) carefully turned his head around and found black eyes staring down at him. "Not Suga and not even Asahi..." The captain muttered, his other hand gripping the manager's jaw, the latter letting out a small gasp.
"Only me. And it will stay that way as long as I'm here." He muttered, leaning so close to (m/n)'s face, the other baring a blank expression, knowing and not daring to show any sign of fear.
"Be aware and be good....I'll take care of you."
The (h/c) nodded, the grip on his jaw loosened and suddenly he was enclosed with a kiss. Daichi pressed against the manager and bit his lower lip, prompting moans as (m/n) shakily wrapped his arms around the captain's neck, his knees weak.
Both of them leaned against the sink and there was a faint sound of an ambulance siren that could barely be heard over the shaky gasps and lustful moans the manager spilled from his throat. It was wrong to love your abuser. (m/n) wouldn't call it love.
He would never care for someone like Daichi.
But he couldn't leave. There was no option for someone like him, he could only embrace and lay in the nest the third years made for him. A good first year to embrace their devilish intent.
[END SCENE]
I planned like a smut scene where daichi fucks him but im tired of writing smut tbh. Like i need inspo. But if u didnt notice daichis hand was bloodied bc he did sumth to the harassers which is why theres an ambulance in the last part.
Someone requested a sick scenario where reader gets sick and third years feel bad for him but tbh they wouldnt feel bad. Its just more of an excuse to fuck him over and ill give a very SIMPLE drabble for that bc ive delayed this way for too long
[SCENARIOS LOADING...]
(m/n) falls sick and the third years takes good care of him!
[START SCENE]
"Mmhhaa mmngg ahnn!"
(m/n) cried as he clutched onto Asahi's gakuran, his back against the wall and his legs wrapped around the ace's waist. The brunette's cock deep in him as they hid in an isolated bathroom stall, the third year pulling him in before classes were starting.
It was the norm for him. And he thought his body could adjust but he wouldn't notice he was slowly falling apart with how frequent the third years was using him for a quick fuck.
"T-Too fast! Ahn! Mmmn ahn ah ah!" His legs were shaking as Sugawara held his hips as he pounded his ass, the setter biting onto the manager's bare shoulder. The setter had whisked (m/n) away during their lunch break, him pulling the first year into the empty clubroom and bent him over the table to fuck his ass. He laughed when he found out Asahi had gotten to him first.
Daichi rarely took him during school hours or even school grounds for that matter. It was always the other two filling his ass up or suffocating his throat.
(m/n) choked as his head was pushed deeper into Asahi's crotch, his body naked as he sucked and licked at the dick while Sugawara was behind him shotgunning his bottom while grinding onto his naked butt. Saliva and precum was dripping onto the gym closet floor.
Sugawara always hold the keys and he'd use it as an excuse to stay behind, forcing (m/n) to help just for him to push him onto his knees and forced his cock into his mouth.
The manager knew his body wasn't feeling well that day. Seven rounds of sex in 8 hours was a record for him and a threesome in the mix? He went home sick and woke up with a sore throat and a burning fever.
(m/n) didn't go to school and he was glad he got to recover in his own bed but his mother suddenly barged in saying that his friends and his boyfriend were there to see him. The third years had neutral expressions when they entered his room, Sugawara easily conversing with his mother as she left the room, leaving her son alone with the monsters.
"I can't believe you actually got sick. I thought you were faking it so you could avoid me today." Sugawara grinned, sitting on the edge of (m/n)'s bed and placing his hand on the manager's forehead, pulling away and pulling out a fever plaster to paste it on the manager.
"I told you he was sick. He could barely stand when we were walking home and you thought he was faking it? You're scary, Sugawara." Asahi muttered to which the setter snapped back at him and they both argued over who had pushed (m/n) too far on yesterday's events.
Daichi ignored the two as he walked over to the bed, (m/n) could barely open his eyes, his skin hot and his head aching. He felt a hand pulling down his blanket and someone pushing his shirt up. A cold wet palm laid flat on his belly. The (h/c) squirmed but embraced the cool, his chest heaved up and down with slow breaths.
"Get better. Soon." The captain ordered. His dark eyes staring blankly at the manager. Sugawara turned to (m/n) and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You heard the captain." "Make sure to stay away from Suga."
The setter continued to yell at the ace, moving off of the bed and Daichi took the opportunity to take his place, his eyes now locking with (e/c) as he brushed his hand against (m/n)'s cheek fondly. "...I'll take care of you. I said I would." The ravenette muttered, the hand he had washed earlier trailing from his stomach to his chest, his hand under (m/n)'s shirt.
Daichi would only take him in his bed, in his room at nights after practice. Now, he was sick and laying in said bed with the captain looming over him, his eyes scanning his weak features.
(m/n) couldn't do a thing, letting the third year care for his sick body. They would come over after practice bringing homecooked meals they would make at Daichi's house. Sugawara often cleaned his body, using a wet towel to cool his warm limbs or helping him into his shower where he would- this made the manager's mom became more fond of the third years, letting them into her son's room at any time she was especially too busy to check in on her precious child.
The manager knew they were some sick fucks but he didn't expect them to go that far truly. Sometimes they would grope him, offering a quickie while mocking him by bouncing the (h/c) on their lap but Daichi was quick to stop them, especially Sugawara who was a bit too happy that (m/n) was weak in his hands, too frail to push away.
Asahi didn't do much, only going through the (h/c)'s belongings, digging through photo albums and taking some of his more personal article of clothings. Stupid pervert. He didn't even bother hiding it too. Daichi would force them to leave when it was almost midnight, him staying over and sleeping on a spare futon.
He was so attentive to the (h/c)'s needs, making sure he took his medicine and eating the required nutrition he needed. He kept his promise and (m/n) was able to recover in three days, returning to school after being deemed well enough by the captain.
Oddly enough, Sugawara and Asahi didn't pounce on him the second they met. Only ruffling his hair or hugging him and saying they were glad to see him well before leaving him alone. (m/n) thought that they finally got their senses knocked into them.
Until night arrived and (m/n)'s mother made a fatal decision to allow Daichi to check her son for another time.
"D-Daichi! I c-can't- urmff! Mmngghaa- ackk!" One of his legs were being held up as he laid on his side, his mouth full with fingers and his hole throbbing around the thick dick shoved inside him. The ravenette slowly rolled his hips, feeling (m/n) tighten around him as the manager shot cum from his penis onto the bedsheets.
He loved when the (h/c) would come on his cock, fluttering walls around his base was pleasure as he quickly thrusted into the overstimulated first year, (m/n) drooling and choking on Daichi's coarse fingers.
"Three days. You have three days to compensate." Rounds of sex to reimburse the captain. Not for the care he provided. It was just more of a reason for Daichi to fill his hole and he had warned the other two not to approach him, wanting to have his ass all to himself for the next few days.
(m/n) let the captain use his hole, his body to fulfill his lust. He wasn't sick any longer and Daichi had promised to take care of him. He could only hope the ravenette doesn't have any plans to stay around him for the long-term. Excluding the fact that they were neighbours.
[END SCENE]
I just love daichi so much rahhh. Going to see the movie next week. Remember this is the last one for karasuno so dont request for this team any longer lovies💋 If karasuno was intense just imagine the power play with shiratorizawa MUAHAHAHHAHA
#bottom male reader#oukabarsburg#sub male reader#x male reader#x bottom male reader#male reader#male reader smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu#male yandere x male reader#yandere
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i forgot i had that fucking presentation. eugh.
#we get assessed both individually and as a gorup#and i dont want anyone else to loose marks so i need to make sure my part's good#ive read so many research papers abt this in preparation#and i feel like theyve all disappeared from my mind now that i actually have to write abt them#i dont particularly want to reread all that but. i probably will have to#unfortunately.#ez.txt
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Hey, in a school play thats coming up in a few months and just got back from practice. Feeling super exhausted and under pressure cause I might have to miss a dress rehearsal for an important field trip and I dont want the teacher to be disappointed be like "oh my God that upping bitch ditched the 2nd dress rehearsal to go on some stupid field trip" (leaving this is an almost unreadable color so if it gets made I dont have to see that part and feel anxious again) so can I request slashers with a significant other in that situation and they support them all through it, the anxiety, lines, and coming home super exhausted and feeling discouraged all leading up to the play? Cause its still somthing they're determined and wanna do? Thanks in advance if you decide to write this then ill be rereading it till the play is over and maybe after it. Its probably dumb my feelings about it all seem stupid but I'm nerodivergent and things are just extra for me then most people.
Slashers with Overwhelmed! Reader That's in a School Play
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Lester
A/N: Hey, your feelings are very much valid no matter the situation! Thank you for sending in your request, and I hope you find some rest soon <3
Freddy Krueger
He's grown a bit concerned over the past couple of weeks
Seeing you show up in his world with that exhausted look on your face wasn't something he liked to see
Has listened to you rant about the situation while he just held you
But he's also been there to keep you going even when you thought about giving up
If you need help with lines and preparing, he's happy to be of assistance!
Can literally morph the world into a stage for you
Anything that makes you feel a little more at ease is worth it
And he'll happily keep you in his world for however long you desire
Something about being with him helps you get the rest you've so desperately needed recently
Michael Myers
He honestly doesn't understand what the big deal is at first
You're stressed from the busy schedule? Then quit the play
But once you express how important it is to you and why you want to stick with it, he takes a little pity on you
Doesn't really help with lines or anything
But whenever you need some alone time, Michael is happy to oblige
If you need to rant, Michael is willing to lend an ear
It might not look like he's listening, but he is
He has offered to "get rid" of your problem a few times
Which you quickly said no to
Overall, he may not be the most supportive person to go to, but he does his best to be there for you in his own way
Jason Voorhees
Jason has already gotten used to the routine now
In fact, whenever you come home, he already has a fluffy blanket laid out on the couch for you along with a warm beverage
Forces you to take at least 5 minutes to sit down and chill
Even if you protest, Jason refuses to let you jump straight into more work
If you're feeling particularly anxious, he's more than happy to hold you or just sit beside you and rub your back
He's happy to help you with anything you need too
He's not the best at giving lines since he's not much of a talker...
But he's very good at following along with your script and giving you a nod if you memorized something correctly
He cares a lot about your wellbeing, so whatever will help you out is what Jason wants to do
Thomas Hewitt
He's also become a bit worried about you recently
He just hates seeing you look so worn out all of the time
Happily makes you dinner and snacks when you get home since he knows you appreciate not having to do it all yourself
He'll also run you a warm bath on evenings when you are particularly stressed out
He admires your dedication for sure, he just doesn't want you to burn out
Will not let you stay up late either
The moment it's bedtime, he makes you go to bed
It doesn't matter if you protest or not
He knows rest is important, and he'll happily lie right on top of you to make sure you don't get up from the mattress
Bubba Sawyer
Every time you come home looking worried, Bubba is all over you
He's hugging you, holding your hand, and even following you around like a puppy the whole night
He hates seeing you as anything but happy
Will do crazy charades and dances to get you to smile
He's also been stalking up on a lot of your favorite snacks and candies so that you always have something for a little more energy
He also cares a lot about you getting enough rest too
If you ever try to pull an all-nighter or stay up late in order to practice your lines, Bubba is right there with you
And seeing him forcing himself to stay awake just ends up guilting you into finally going to bed
He may seem innocent, but Bubba knows how to persuade you when he deems necessary
Brahms Heelshire
Brahms also recommends just quitting the play at first
It seems to be stressing you out too much, and he hates spending so much time away from you
But when you tell him that this is all important to you, he gives in
He'll (begrudgingly) go through lines with you and help you memorize them
Reassures you that everything will be fine and work out
Is happy to give you as many cuddles and kisses as you want in order to help you feel better
He still expects you to follow the rules list
But he's willing to be fairly lenient if you really need it
Norman Bates
He's very sweet and understanding about the whole situation
Doesn't even question why you're still doing everything even with all the stress
Meets you at the door each night and grabs your things, putting them aside
Has dinner already prepared for you
And he's happy to help you with lines or anything else you need!
He's actually the one who offered
If he sees that you're feeling extra stressed, he urges you to tell him what you're thinking
He refuses to let you bottle up your worries
He always responds with reassurances or advice depending on what you want
Billy Loomis
Believe it or not but Billy has had a little experience in theatre back in his day
He's a heartthrob; he always got cast in good roles
He's actually good at acting too and makes learning your lines feel a lot more legit
Even helps you with the delivery of the lines as well
He waits for you to come to him if you need anything
Advice, cuddles, questions, you name it
If you need it, just ask, and he'll be happy to supply
If anyone gives you a particularly hard time, Billy will go have a "talk" with them
Don't worry, he won't kill anyone
Well, unless you ask
Stu Macher
Stu somehow always makes a stressful situation better
If you need help with lines, he'll go all out
Will throw on random clothes and grab just about anything to use as a prop
Delivers his lines with such charisma that you'd think he was Shakespeare
He pushes you to take frequent breaks when you can
A nice walk outside, a little TV sesh, or even going to get some ice cream real quick are all frequent suggestions made by Stu
He admires your passion for what you're doing, he just doesn't want you to push yourself too hard
Every night while in bed, he's there whispering reassurances to you and telling you how proud he is for what you're doing
Vincent Sinclair
Vincent really wants to help, he just doesn't know how
But the moment you ask anything of him, he'll jump on it immediately
Brings you water and food frequently while you're busy
And on overwhelming days, he already has your bags and meals prepped for you so you can just head right out the door
Makes sure you're asleep every night before he'll even let himself rest
He also offers a lot of physical reassurance too if you need it
His hand on top of yours, gentle back rubs, and long hugs are all done if you initiate them
He really focuses on taking care of you and making sure you're not exhausting yourself too much
Bo Sinclair
It honestly pisses him off
You coming home each night feeling anxious and looking so tired makes Bo angry at your school
Would really love to invite your teacher over to have a "talk" about everything
But he knows you'd never allow that
Will help you with lines if you insist
He's not very good at it, but the sentiment is there
His help is really focused on the practical
He makes sure you eat dinner, drink enough water, get enough sleep, etc.
He's not much of a cuddler, but that definitely changes when you're going through a tough time
He's very much looking forward to when the play is finally done
Lester Sinclair
He always gives you lots of compliments
"You're such a hard-worker" "I know you're gonna do great" "It'll be all worth it"
Will give you a ride to wherever you need to go whenever you need to get there
Will spoil you quite a bit during this time too
Multiple bags of snacks, new comfy clothes, late night drives around the town, etc.
Whatever he can do to make you feel better, he wants to do it
He worries a lot about you though
So there will be a few times when you're the one needing to reassure him that you're alright
#slashers x reader#slasher preference#slashers headcanon#slashers preference#slashers#michael myers headcanons#michael myers x reader#michael myers#jason voorhees headcanons#jason voorhees x reader#jason voorhees#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire#brahms heelshire headcanon#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis headcanon#billy loomis#stu macher x reader#stu macher#stu macher headcanons#vincent sinclair#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#lester sinclair#freddy krueger#freddy krueger x reader
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love all your thoughts on eridan so much!! ive had erikar as a passive concept in my head since i started slowly rereading homestuck, bit i never invested as much thought into it...it makes a LOT of sense.
very curious on your thoughts on eridan and nepeta, if you have any? i dont really see much around of the two of them and how they may act around each other (most likely because, iirc, they have basically no substantial interaction in the comic....) but its a concept ive twisted around in my head a little.
Hahah, one of my friends is a Nepeta roleplayer, so we have hashed this OUT. Basically, I think if they talked a bit more, under the right circumstances, they might try pitch for a bit, but resolve to normal friendship. TL;DR, at the end of the day, they just don't really have anything to particularly hate about each other, or to particularly love, but I think they'd make for really good friends actually, if Eridan gets his shit together and Nepeta comes out of her shell a little more. She might wind up having to play auspice for him because... he has a lot of problems... and as a Heart player, with more proximity to him, she'd realize "oh, wait, he's not that bad, hes just mentally fucking ill," and there are people on the team who would not give him that kind of grace.
Flushed is pretty canonically off the table - despite having hit on her several times, Eridan seems to have accepted the rejection, and Nepeta herself comments that it always came off as "cr33py and insincere", which it probably was - he's clearly not over Feferi, and has a kind of "please god anyone would be fine I just don't want to be alone" vibe. Nepeta is definitely looking for more sincerity than that, and although Eridan's Type is very much cheerful, bubbly, nice girls (what he thinks Feferi is), I think they're pretty incompatible overall.
His antics and Emotional Issues would probably be super taxing on Nepeta long-term, he'd wind up in a million fights with protective Equius (Eridan is a crazed murderer even just objectively), and he's really not a particularly kind or pleasant person.
Meanwhile, although he's basically willing to go along with anything that'll get him attention, I think he'd be very puzzled by Nepeta's expectations that he do Romantic Things, or otherwise adhere to certain romantic tropes and social norms, which he can't do; when this inevitably leads to hurt feelings, his response to perceived danger is "fight," so he'd probably end up making it worse. So! Flushed is flushed. Down the load gaper, I mean.
Trying on pitch, I think if Nepeta was already a little bit out of her shell - say, Equius has died, or she's otherwise locked in a SGRUB dungeon with him, or something like that - she and he would come to blows over Eridan's performative casteism. Nepeta's the anti-casteism troll, after all, and if she's worked up enough, she's quite spirited and opinionated, and Eridan is down for anything, so it would be something I can absolutely see forming.
Actually, hilariously, when my friend and I RP'd this out, Nepeta wound up with a pitch crush, and Eridan wound up with a FLUSHED crush, because he was THAT BAD at differentiating between good and bad attention. Nepeta was totally floored, she was like, dude i was calling you stupid and terrible??? how the fuck did you interpret that as FLUSHED??? and eridan was like i dont know... maybe... i might have mental illness......
The problem is, I don't see their pitched dalliance lasting, for two main reasons - the first is that Eridan wouldn't hate Nepeta long-term, even if he can work up some caliginous energy because he's desperate; she's too genuinely nice and kind and he loves nice and kind people. Similarly, Nepeta wouldn't be able to hate Eridan the more she got to know him - since he's kind of the least casteist highblood, despite his initial impression, she would lose her fundamental reason for opposing him, and would instead start going "oh god, hes so traumatized, he's like that because he's really messed up inside."
The second is because I think they're dangerous for each other, physically. Eridan is a volatile highblood with severe emotional problems and a bodycount in the thousands, and Nepeta is very reckless in the face of danger; I can genuinely see them going a little too hard and Eridan getting a bit of a highblood buzz and winding up severely injuring Nepeta, which he would feel completely fucking terrible about, and then not allow himself to ACT like he feels terrible about it. Even if they stay in the relationship, it would kill his vibe, since when he isn't on an outright murder spree, he doesn't want to hurt his friends ("wwhat kind of friend wwould i be"). And that's not even factoring in how much EQUIUS would flip out over it.
I also don't think Nepeta is particularly equipped to deal with Eridan's problems, even if she does recognize and sympathize with them more than most on their team. Although she'd have more success than others, I think it'd leave her exhausted, because Eridan is exhausting. A Heart player obsessed with true feelings and sincerity and genuineness is just a bad match for the kid who's 90% façade.
So, ultimately, I think they'd resolve to really good friends, and Nepeta might wind up being a middle leaf for Eridan in an auspicetism situation, since Eridan... tends to draw aggro, and Nepeta at least would care about him enough that she doesn't want to see him get killed (even in the comic, as Nepetasprite, she expresses sadness that Eridan is dead, although she doesn't seem to know about his murders).
Eridan is also a roleplayer, lest we forget, and if Nepeta is able to draw out rare flashes of genuineness, they do have a bunch in common - she could commiscerate with him over the thrill of the hunt (although she'd have to be careful not to get too into the weeds about the, uh, Troll Murder aspect), RP with him (in a safe environment), or gossip about romance. They're both pretty painfully sincere people at their core, so while I ultimately don't see them being particularly romantically compatible, I do really love the idea of them being close friends. If only Eridan didn't always make things Fucking Weird.
And also since I really love pitch FefNep, Nepeta becoming friends with Eridan would help fuel her hate dates with Feferi - ":33 < do you even realize how messed up killing lusii fur YOU left him???" "W)(at would you )(ave preferred, t)(at my lusus went )(ungry and krilled everybody? 3X0"
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hi tuna hi hi 👋 I gotta quick one for ya. I was staring at one of dazais mayoi cards, the one where elise gives him a little stuffed bunny (can't send pictures over anon unfortunately but its called lamplit winter if you wanna look it up), and then i reread ur softzai piece and it made me brainrot really really bad so imagine. giving yan dazai a little stuffed animal...
like, look, I feel like dazai, even the crueller versions of him like subordinate darling dazai, is something of a sentimentalist. everything and anything darling gives him is a present and he wants to take good care of it. like, even something as innocuous as a pencil you dropped is something hell keep in a little shoebox beneath his bed. its all part of his delusion, his secret hopeless romanticism. touching (or heaven forbid, breaking) something he got from darling is enough to get people sent to the hospital, or even killed. so imagine ACTUALLY giving him a gift of some kind. youre at the arcade, you win a little stuffed animal, you give it to dazai cuz you have no use for it. you dont really think much of it, really, but HE sure does. mafia/subordinate darling dazai would be a special case. hed probably pretend he doesnt care for the toy at first, both to you and to himself (especially since subordinate darling would probably give it to him sarcastically), but he doesnt have it in him to get rid of it. hes always had a bit of a soft spot for cute things.... and the cramped storage compartment he lives in is so dreary...... no, nevermind that, he'll just. throw it over in the corner. whatever. no need to even go through the effort of disposing of it, thats how little he cares!
of course, he finds his eyes drifting to it more often than not, thinks about what you giving him something like that might Mean, etc. he still refuses to admit he appreciates it, or you, but then maybe one night... he finds himself having another nightmare... and as he sits there, cold, lonely, distressed... his eyes catch the little stuffed toy you gave him. before he can really think about it, he grabs it and drags it into bed with him. he was never given things like this, as a child, so holding it feels... nice. comforting in a way he hasn't experienced. it even still smells just like you; and if he closes his eyes, he can PRETEND its you... he can imagine himself holding you tightly, burying his nose in your hair, laying on your chest and listening to your heart... his little fantasies get him back to sleep very quickly, and it becomes routine. sometimes, if hes particularly lonely or the delusion has completely overtaken him for the day, he'll even talk to the toy like its you. I could also imagine this leading to him stealing some clothes from you, once your scent starts to be replaced with his own on the toy, nothing you'll miss, just a shirt or two he can use to supplement your presence while he sleeps!
I'll cut myself off here cuz I am going NUTSO but yeah. thats where my head is at rn <33
- 🩹
im so sorry for how long it took me to get to this omg these weeks have been hectic :( i dont know if i uslaly write dazai this gloomy but i like it
dazai treasures anything you give him leave behind, but instead of dedicating a corner of his room to your items and presence, dazai likes to spread things out in his place like how you might leave it if the two of you were together. he leaves a used tube of chapstick in the drawer beside his bandages, he places a half-empty tube of toothpaste beside his own in the bathroom (making a note to buy the same one as you from now on so it feels more real, this fantasy), he keeps your shirts stacked up beside his, trying to make it feel natural. somehow, the possibility of you living with him seems so far-fetched so instead, he turns to building the future he'd like with your missing items, playing into his little fantasy. of course, the obvious lack of furniture in his room is inadequate for you, too miserable to be called a house, unlike your own apartment with the wallpaper and the trinkets you have placed everywhere.
if anyone messes with anything lying around (unlikely, since nobody really visits him anyway), dazai would fly into a rage. every item has been meticulously placed in its appropriate place, and slightly nudging it away or putting it elsewhere would cause the fragile facade to crumble and demolish the delicate atmosphere. when he gets back at night, he makes sure to check that everything is in its place—the chapstick he so desperately wants to use (a pathetic attempt at getting close to you) but doesn't want to taint with his touch, the shirts he cradles so delicately, pretending you were there, when the loneliness feels more crushing than usual and he can't bear to accept his reality.
if you happened to give him anything, regardless of the reason, dazai would be over the moon. sure, when you casually ask him if he wants the stuffed toy you won, he scoffs and pretends like he's not interested, but ultimately takes it anyway. its soft texture and blank eyes don't mean much to him as it is, but knowing you were just holding it in your arms, experimentally squeezing it a few times before telling dazai you couldn't keep it, makes the toy the most valuable thing in the world for dazai. no matter how out of place the cute, round thing looked in his bandaged arms, surrounded by his coat, dazai found himself holding it tighter. with this, he can fool himself into believing this was a date and not just a detour from your usual work. he can lie to himself and think that you wanted to impress him by winning the toy, no matter how far it was from the truth.
the toy is painfully out of place in his dark room, not really looking right on the dresser or inside the closet. so he throws it onto his bed instead, thinking about how desolate it looked still. he doesn't think much of it until he goes to rest, observing the round toy sitting beside him. outside, the sky rumbled, and he felt his hand squeeze the soft belly of the toy. despite himself, he found himself smiling a little. it was sort of cute, with the blank eyes and stuffing. he'd never had something like this, and now that he did, he didn't know what to do with it.
while he was thinking about it, he realized the toy might have your scent, seeing as it was held by you for a while first. awkwardly, his arms wrapped around it and he pulled it closer, feeling like a child who had just received his first toy. it was soft; lacking the warmth humans had, but he wasn't about to be picky when this was already something he never had.
for a minute, he thought back to that pleased expression you had when squeezing the round stuffed toy in your arms, and he thinks you'd like to have it when you moved in. with his eyes closed, it's easier to pretend the inanimate object is more human and more loving. it's easy to imagine it was you in his arms, asleep, except for the lack of warmth.
dazai sighs and his eyes open, still holding the toy. it was nice while it lasted.
#its hard to describe a plushy#yandere bsd x reader#yandere x reader#yandere dazai osamu#yandere dazai x reader#yandere dazai#yandere bsd#yandere bungo stray dogs#yandere bungo stray dogs x reader#yandere bungou stray dogs#ask 🐟#anon 🐟#dazai 🐟#bsd 🐟#dazai 🩹 🐟
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(still the same anon from all those Batman/Joker asks)
Be ready with those empty walls, pal, I'm on my way!! I've already thrown my suitcase in the car and filled up the gas-
You blew every expectation I had with that answer of yours and I don't know if I'll ever recover. I will absolutely respond to your answer but first I need to put my brain back together from being rearranged like a jigzaw puzzle. I'm definitely looking forward to reading that Jesus/side wound meta whenever you post it.
Until then I have a different question. I don't remember who said it but it was along these lines: "There are only three people in the world who find the Joker funny. Joker himself, sometimes Harley and lastly Bruce. And he feels so fucking guilty for it."
They pointed out how Batman does a lot of bad puns, same as the Joker, except he does it with a straight face and serious tone. For example: Bat-terry, Bat-bucket, Bat-arang, saying "hang in there Alfred" while Alfred is dangling off a metal beam. (Those are my rushed examples, not something the original poster brought up, so if they're unaccurate, that's my fault). Bruce will also just say the craziest shit and nobody is sure if he's serious or not. (Happens all the time)
I have a vague suspicion who it was but I'm not sure enough to @ them.
Joker and Batman's sense of humour and how they are somewhat opposed but still similar will drive me into an early grave I swear. Like that post that's still circulating somwhere that mentions how Bruce "lives and dies by the fact that nobody can ever tell when he's pulling their chain" and how Joker "craves to have his comedic genius acknowledged [but he's just not funny]".
I don't know about Joker wanting to be acknowledged as funny because I don't think he considers himself to be in the clown business. He definitely ranted about this to a captured Damian in a comic once. But he does make a lot of bad jokes. Maybe he doesn't think himself funny, either?
Any thoughts?
(Btw I'm not done pestering you yet, be ready to receive an ask about the Batman: I Am Suicide comic and about Martha and Thomas Wayne in the next few days. I still have to gather my thoughts though.)
(Can I just say that every single one of your answers has made my brain release a huge amount of serotonin? Or is that too much? Eh, whatever, it's the truth anyway. You've brightened my week considerably, thank you so much!!)
❤️❤️ hi friend, i adore receiving your asks and getting to exchange interpretations with you, and i can only hope that my superturbonexus unhinged answers have brought half as much joy to you as your questions have brought me 🥰
I kinda took my time with this ask (sorry!) because it's a rather big bite out of an intricate can of bat worms for me, can included. I also found and reread this particular post by @distort-opia , which put more a dozen more interesting worms in my metaphorical can— i'm not sure though if it was the post you were initially referring to.
So! The concept of jokes and generally being a funnyman is a subjective talk, and my personal preferences regarding where Joker and Batman place on the funnyman scale deviate considerably from what the general consensus in batman fandom seems to be (or the lot i have seen of it), so i guess i'll just take this opportunity to do personal talk, probably more than usual 😂 take it all with a grain of salt! (an ingradient that you'll find this answer contains a fair bit of actually—)
I dont think Joker is funny one bit, and i dont think he's particularly trying to be in the general sense of the word; to imply that he's "funny" both in-world and on a meta level would mean that being funny is his core motivation and the heart of his actions, that it's the foundational component, and to me it's not. A bit more a matter of personal taste on my part, but i actually feel lowkey irritated with Joker portrayals that lean too heavily on the "HE MAKES JOKES HE'S SO FUNNY!!!!!" act at the expect of every other significant characteristic he has, because like, funny is not who he is, it's just one of the 500 things he does. Sure he started as a fun character meant to bring in a dash of psychopathic delight to the early Batman works, but he has evolved to become so much more than that, which i like better than the more simplistic "he's a funny fun guy!!!!" characterizations. To me Joker is not funny, he is not supposed to be the way you pour salt on your dish but it's not supposed to taste salty, it's supposed to taste /right/. His jokes aren't the main dish, they're an added flavour meant to bring home a certain act: the performance. He's a showman, he's here to put on a good show, and that show doesn't have the end goal of being "fun", it has the goal of being iconoclastic and real and raw. But he can't exactly do raw, raw and sincere scares him, in a way he's a slave to his fear and tries to cage it and tame it and understand it the way Batman is scared of bats and everything they represent and he made them his very persona. Joker tries to be true and geniune and sincere but he can't, so he infuses his actions with jokes to soften the blow, shift the taste a bit. He also has the genius' disease; he wants to be seen through, interpreted, understood and reimagined, mirrored, and it's an itch only a certain fellow fucked up intellectual can scratch for him.
Batman deeply understands the value of a good performance and a viciously planned persona, he is a performer both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman after all. And he has the expertise to dissect and bring out all the nuance in Joker's performance, it's probably why he finds him funny. He understands the theatre piece, both when it's executed in a stellar fashion and when it falls flat on its face. noone else can bring this level of discernment to interpreting Joker like Batman does because what other villains do is actually less performance and more.... outright insanity. I think this is also the reason why Batman enjoys saying the most insane shit and making weird jokes at weird times and have everyone be confused by him, it's part of the performance. There are these little almost invisible acts that Batman and Joker catch of each other, that they want to catch of each other, "i'm shaking the persona a bit", like when an actor improvises a moment to keep the role fresh, but only the people in on the script catch it, to others it feels in accordance, not off enough to catch attention. It's one of their core points of connection and similarity actually, they both have their performances and they both wiggle in its frame, sometimes threatening to break through the confines.
#thank you for your questions as always ❤️#i also think that a more foundational part of Joker's performance is his incessant feelings of grief and anger;#both things Batman understands damn well and therefore can catch in their nuance#so basically Batman finds joker funny not in a “hoohoo haha'' way#but in a way ''fucking hell we're so godforsakenly alike after all'' way. as you mentioned#Batman#Batman meta#dc joker#joker meta#........#batjokes#batjokes meta#yeah i mean
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I am thinking of getting into writing but I am a bit scared to do so. Do you have beginner writing tips?
my biggest tip: read!
what kind of story do you want to write? read stories like that. do you have a favorite author? read their work. what makes their writing stand out to you? what turns of phrase do they use? what makes a story into one of your favorites? what kinds of words, what kinds of sentences, what kinds of descriptions...?
now, that probably feels like a lot and might be pretty overwhelming, unless you happen to be the sort of freak who just enjoys sentence diagramming and literary analysis (<- self-descriptive). but the best place to jump into writing, in my opinion, is to read what you want to write, and then to write what you want to read.
in a similar vein, if you're scared of mistakes (which - everyone makes 'em! i sure as hell still have areas in writing that i definitely want to improve in!), it can help to think about what you don't like to read. inconsistent verb tenses take you out of the narrative? there's something you can make sure you look out for in your own work. hate it when a story can't decide if it's third person limited vs omniscient viewpoint? there's something else you can ponder for your own writing! long-ass paragraphs of detailed description make your eyes glaze over? boom now you know you dont wanna do that yourself.
when i read, i particularly love looking at ways authors use figurative language, and how they direct reader attention. for example:
She swings her sword at her opponent, but just barely misses.
and
Her blade sings through the air, just a hair's breadth shy of her enemy's skin.
both contain the same information, but the second is more vivid. how? the subject is the sword itself, the verb is more unusual, the longer description is more precise than the lone adverb. so if i were to read this line somewhere, i might think to myself, ooh, the desc "her blade sings," i like that! and then i might return to that kind of phrasing later when i try to write myself.
all of which is, i guess, a longform way to say, "become a more active reader, and you're sure to become a better writer!" more than anything more technical about sentence variation or particular kinds of description or narration or anything else i could tell you, that's probably the best piece of advice i could possibly offer.
and hey, don't be afraid to reread your own work!! you are your #1 fan and your own target audience. write the kind of thing you would like to read. if it's not quite where you want it to be, you can reference things that do accomplish the things you want your writing to, and try and see what those authors did differently. if there's a story in there you want to tell, it's worth polishing and figuring out!!!
i hope this is at least somewhat helpful :D if you have any other questions or more specific anxieties or anything im happy to try and answer more. good luck with the writing!!!
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Hello 👋🏻
Hi ! I hope I'm not bothering you. Just wanted to pop into your ask box and tell you that I really enjoy reading your fics! I've been a fan of pedro pascal for some time now and I really really love reading your take!! Esp on Javi in liar liar! It was really funny and you made me laugh so much! Thank you so much for writing and sharing !! I really hope you write more soon! I can't wait to read 🖤
I saw you shared an ask game?? I had some questions? if you don't mind answering that is because I know its been some time since you posted it? Feel free to ignore it if you want.
15 16 29 34 39 41 and finally 69 for Liar Liar
Sorry if they're a lot you dont have to answer all of them! I just couldn't resist.
I love your work ! Hope you have a great day! 🖤
okay so i had to take a minute to read this and reread it and reread it again. You are absolutely NOT bothering me -- I read this after a particularly humbling day at work, and wow, I thought about it the rest of the day. Thank you SO MUCH for reading my work! I am so touched that you are a seasoned pp reader and you find my take unique! It's hard out here for a fic writer so messages like this truly make all the frustration and head-banging that comes with writing really worth it. 💗 you are so sweet and i hope there are good things for you to look forward to!
As for the ask game, I am more than happy to play! :) And if you'd like, you don't have to wait for those games to come around if you have a question about a fic or would like an update! My ask box is always open! Here's your questions:
15. What’s your favorite time to write?
Probably the mornings. I like the mornings the best in general and there's nothing better than starting the day with a good writing flow!
16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?
oh man, laptop every single time. I write notes or ideas to myself on my phone when I'm in bed and the brain waves are pulsing, but I could never write long form on anything but my computer. I know writers who write everything down first AND THEN type them -- to me that is like god tier writing process. I am a weak, weak woman.
29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?
When I make people laugh. Call it my "fawning" instincts, but I always try and make people laugh in different social situations -- to varying degrees of success. So when people laugh at my dumb jokes in fic, I'm really pleased with myself!
34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?
😬 oof y'all are gonna be able to spot my kinks after this. But honestly, it depends on which fandom/situation I'm writing for. I wrote a Midnight Mass fic that was very, very personal to my experiences growing up in Texas around Catholics. On the other hand, I don't have the guts to be, uh, so public as the reader in 'blood makes noise'. I think most of my reader characters are a mix of myself and who I want to be.
39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?
(oh, honey, they all are) i think it's a tie between (working title) Living Dead Girl, where reader becomes Max's blood donor and (working title) Riders of the Purple Sapir, where Din and reader go on a quest for vengeance against the men who killed her father. The cowboy goth in me is REAL excited about both of those.
41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?
Max is quickly becoming the little bug in my ear about most things. He has such a distinctive personality from other Pedro boys, I love it so much. All his little faces kill me.
But I've said this to a friend -- i think half the fun writing for the pedro boys is coming up with a reader character that perfectly meshes with them. What personality traits would drive them up the goddamn walls? What do they need to feel fulfilled in a partner? So if "reader" can count as a character, I really liked the reader in Go Ahead, I Dare Ya and Recovery Road. Just as insane as their counterparts.
69. What are your favorite fics at the moment?
YES YES YES i get to GUSH about the fics that have me gnawing at my cage bars:
Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat is literally everything I want in a fic. perfect extensions of the characters from the source media. new problems for them that make you see more facets of their personalities. so.must.fantastic.smut it makes me want to scream. the angst and the grief and the literal haunting of a dead spouse - or a spouse that you lost but maybe didn't ever actually have adsfaksldjf GHOSTS I LOVE GHOSTS. i cannot recommend this fic enough. i am on my hands and knees begging people to read it.
This one isn't pedro specific, but @astroboots's Every Me Every You is like my kryptonite. Every new chapter hits me in a place that I didn't know could hurt while being such a fun throw back to the good ol' days of the MCU. i feel like it's written specifically for those of us who were on tumblr during the 2012 avengers take over. Good times.
For just the sweetest, gentlest Dieter Bravo, please consider @stardustandskycrystals 's Curls. I stumbled across it one night before bed and I was up until like 2AM to finish it. It's adorable and I just need them all to be okay forever and happy and little Charlie is basically my child at this point. Oof!
*takes you by the shoulders* if you even remotely like Prospect or the sci fi genre, I am BEGGING YOU to read Compulsion by @iamskyereads. Like. Like. I cannot formulate words to express how fantastic this piece of fiction is. I want to leave detailed, thoughtful comments but my mind just goes blank after reading it. Her work is truly a staggering piece of world-building and character development. I cannot believe this art is just free for me to consume. i am . . . undone by how good it is. (you should also read her Lie To Me series, insanely good too)
I KNOW i'm missing some so if I forgot yours I am SO SORRY FOR BEING AN IDIOT.
This response ended up being way longer than intended but I hope this show how much messages like these matter to me. Thank you again for reading and I hope my future fics don't disappoint you!
#taylor talks#more like taylor cries#this was so much fun and i am so glad i got to gush about my current faves#dieter bravo#max phillips#ezra prospect#javier peña#miguel o'hara fanfic
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so i had an absolutely horrible (and by horrible i mean upsetting) idea today for my thw fic in regards to skuld the sorceress and im kinda torn on whether or not to do it because i dont know if i want her to be quite as evil as this would make her
so for context: skuld is a sham sorceress who tricks people into thinking she has powers, etc etc. at the point she's at in my plot, i want her to be very good at making her intelligence look like magic - so her "prophecies" will be very astute observation wrapped up in confusing language with some smoke and a trance like state for pizzazz. her "curses" might be psychological manipulation or a stealthy poisoning disguised behind mystical words. she's very willing to pull out the bells and whistles because it makes people more likely to believe her. ultimately she's an advisor but because she doesnt come from a powerful family or anything like that, she needs an in to get people to listen to her - thus, magic
i was thinking about the idea of having one of her divination practices involving haruspicy (divination through examining the entrails of a sacrificed animal) - although im not sure if her character would get her hands dirty with something like that (need to reread the comics for chracterization)...she might have someone do it for her and then observe (ok actually yes i like this)
BUT i was also thinking it would be particularly dark if the animals she were sacrificing were dragons - probably smaller and more common ones on a more regular basis (sorry, terrible terrors ) and then bigger or rarer ones before important battles
i havent made up my mind yet because i dont know if i want her to be quite this cruel , especially considering that she doesnt even believe in her own powers, so all of it is really just for show, or what she might think is a necessary evil to maintain her position of power
i also dont know how much value drago (who she's advising) would put into magic. he might have been skeptical at first but then got on board when he saw that she was right more often than not? im thinking she's spinning it as doing the will of the the gods (whose gods? uh...good question because idk what religious beliefs drago's culture may have...just...gods in general for now) maybe shes convinced him that some of the more powerful the norse gods support him and he finds some of them to be analogous to his own) abhoring the idea of humans and dragons being equals (uhh something about dragons being forces of chaos that upset order, say theyre the spawn of nidhogg or something and is dragos destiny to subdue them etc etc) and at first he's like yeah i can get behind that as a general idea - and then over time he takes the more mystical elements seriously because she's convincing
alright i think i do want to go with the order vs chaos prophecy angle. still figuring out the dragon sacrifice though
#skuld the sorceress#thw rewrite#httyd 3 rewrite#the more i plan drago and skuld the more theyre becoming stannis and melissandre#drago/skuld#skuld/drago
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i guess since i got through HR and interlude i’m going to throw a half assed post about who n portman, v the critic (v=er) and code:dante are into this tag, i’ll probably revisit once i’ve reread the dlc.
if you don’t know who these people are this is spoilers for up to HR and interlude so scroll by if you don’t want to be spoiled
these three show up in the coe artbook (the commentary in the notes is written by n portman) and have thank you notes they wrote at the end. they’re also mentioned in the interlude credits, and are unofficially referred to as the system n.h trio.
i believe that these people show up in a lot more places than you might think.
as of now i don’t have a particularly coherent analysis so i’m just throwing things together
identities, first. we know v the critic is enein rundall. that’s what the er is for, and one of the shadowy figures (referred to as ‘his majesty’ is specifically called ‘enein’ in interlude.
the other shadowy figure is zero. lin orie. i’m assuming people are pinning him down as n portman because he streams on castport and one of these mysterious shadowy figures keeps fucking mentioning gaming. Well.
the third, code:dante, seems to be popularly agreed upon to be sanemitsu but i’ll be honest with you i have no idea where people are getting this from and trying to figure out who was associated with who in interlude is making my head hurt
so i’m just going to post screencaps of what i think are their other appearances
this seems to imply owl works for the nh trio. strangely, this
also implies that the nh trio may not actually be all that closely associated with ldl but like i said i dont fucking want to figure out who’s part of what at this point.
i think these three from the interlude reports are also the nh trio
oddly enough this reminds me of what mutei mentions about being erased in hr, and might imply the same is going to happen to those three
i suspect this is their goal.
and, related to that, in hermit’s room, mutei mentions ‘the ones in the shadows who brought you here’. at first i thought this was meta commentary on the player but reading this i’m thinking it might be these three again because
i really have no idea where i’m going with this other than my theory as of now is that the different factions are trying to ‘save’ the world in different ways (rewriting the story to continue/not letting it continue/etc) and that mutei might not necessarily be lying when he talks about that world completely disappearing for him.
...although what he’s going to do might be something more along the lines of ‘breaking the game’ rather than rewriting the story
#cell of empireo#if he's really sanemitsu that means a character had one name change and then Two Other Aliases At Least#i'm trying to figure if it's like 20 factions or if it's just three people with twenty aliases#i want to make a coherent post about it but i dont know if im that strong
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the mspa reread, pt 7
after finishing homestuck, ive been working my way progressively through the other content available on the unofficial collection. at this point, all thats left to reconsume is problem sleuth, so ill just recap my feelings about everything else in one singular post here to keep the flow going.
if youre new here, dont even worry about it. the previous parts dont matter, unless you want to read my homestuck recaps.
so heres the recap of the unofficial collection bonus material, ig
Skaianet
i was one of the few people who was there when this came out and managed to read the whole thing before it was shut down. i reread it. no further comments.
Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, + Team Special Olympics
i am not reading either of these. ive glimpsed more than enough in passing.
The Vigil Prince
i read this but i genuinely have no idea what the fuck its supposed to be???
Ryanquest
probably the shortest thing on the site outside of the vigil prince. its pretty funny ig
Namco High
ive played a decent number of dating sims in my life, and this is my least favorite. i played through davesprites route and then resolutely decided i wouldnt bother playing any more. there are too many fucking characters, there arent really any choices, and the whole thing is just a drag. i tried looking up walkthroughs or playthroughs for the purpose of this recap, but i found nothing bc of how unpopular/how little time this game was available for. i was unfamiliar with all characters except the cousin, teh ship thing i GUESS? nad obviously the hs characters. this did not help anything. i think davesprites route was probably the most interesting one anyway.
Paradox Space
i owned this book, i think. i know when i first read the comic i read the physical version. its in storage now, so i just reread it thru the collection. its still really good. i didnt realize hussie had actually written some of the comics. its funny, and parts of it are really great bonus material or commentary on hs.
summerteen romance surprisingly enough holds up for me as both comedic genius and a surprisingly sincere commentary on hivebent and karkats feelings about it on the meteor trip. mister seven remains my favorite comic, but the last one with vriska and equius was particularly powerful, leaning into a chaotic art style that really emphasized vriskas desperation and incoherence as she lost more and more blood. it made me think of what arkham asylum by grant morrison wanted to be. in general though, there are a lot of genuinely really sweet and funny moments in the comic as a whole. i think i loved it more on my reread than i did on my first read.
Jailbreak
jailbreak is a short comic with one splitting track (with no real consequence) wherein a guy tries to escape from jail with some other guys. if i recall, this one is entirely based off of reader suggestions, so its really random and all over the place. its also very characteristic of hussies earlier era humor.
i remember loving it the first time i read it, but honestly? a lot of the jokes were just kind of distressing on my reread. the dark humor just really isnt my thing anymore i guess. its just kind of... gross now.
still, it has a lot of influence on jokes in homestuck. lord jack's entire jail sequence is like, a direct riff off of this comic. this is also where the what pumpkin joke comes from, and the porno sword. the elf saw a penis and began to cry meme is from this comic.
Bard Quest
hussies incomplete short comic. this is where she really experimented with splitting tracks. however, unlike in homestuck and jailbreak, none of them are resolved, which can result in a clunky narrative where you just have too many damn tabs open.
this is very obviously where the codpiece thing started.
Albums
once youve finished homestuck, hiveswap acts 1 and 2 ost unlock, as well as the friendsim ost, a "grubbles" album based off of the fictional hiveswap band, and the final "beyond canon" album.
Hiveswap OST
im a sucker for the hiveswap soundtrack, absolutely. act one especially is fantastic. but the real highlight of this album is toby and james's track commentary. they bicker back and forth and joke around in the notes, and honestly, its fucking hysterical. act 2 is also good, but it doesnt have any of the commentary.
The Grubbles
its good! it has a nice, consistent sound, and the tracks are pretty solid. its very short, though, and i dont have a ton to say about it.
Friendsim OST
the reality is that everything james roach makes is pretty fire. some of the commentary on this albums really interesting, also. i really like M O I S T and >tfw another james roach song, i think theyre some of the most powerful tracks in terms of atmosphere. however, service car is definitely my favorite. its just so funky.
Beyond Canon
something i think is interesting about beyond canon is that its largely new artists. in all of the previous hs albums, you got the sense that a lot of the musicians knew each other and worked together or listened to each others work, and as a result, you really see them build off of each other. there are so many repeating sounds and motifs, with people constantly remixing each others works, or sticking to similar themes in instruments or sounds- ie; favoring piano in songs about john, whatever. theres a distinct sound to those early albums where you listen and youre like, oh yeah, this is a homestuck album.
i dont get that with beyond canon. it doesnt reference any older stuff. these arent recognizable artists whove influenced homestuck for ages. its all new.
robert j, one of like four returning artists, says this in the track commentary:
about five months ago i was contacted to be a part of the homestuck 2 music team and was told the lowdown: it was a clean slate, and a chance to establish the musical rockbed for homestuck 2 going forward. no quotes of hs1 songs whatsoever, but we'd be making new songs TO quote
which pretty much backs up everything i said. and i get the purpose of something like this, but it does present a challenge for new musicians because theyre working without the same base for nostalgia. the fact that there isnt a ton of really distinct musical diversity in this album, with a lot of it relying on a very electronic sound to the point where i originally thought the album was themed, rather than a supposed new start for this new era of homestuck, also may be challenging when moving forward with new albums.
idk. its a fine album, the songs are fine, but nothing about it really sticks out to me.
Final Thoughts
anyway, all thats left now is to reread problem sleuth, and then i can uninstall this massive fucking thing. i might replay the games, or reread the post canon stuff eventually, but the light is shining at the end of the tunnel at last
#hs reread#recaps#this post is largely negative in retrospect i think whoops#wasnt really my intention but it does come off that way
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Well damn.. I respect your marianne takes but thats pretty brutal.. Checked out their supports and like, C is okay, A is pretty cute! but B is really nasty weird like what??? Just straight up degrading Marianne and guilting her about it too, which to me is odd cause Hilda's usually less demeaning! I know getting people to do your work for you is kinda shitty, but most of her supports end with her balancing out a bit, or doing things back for people, but with Marianne it's only in the A support you get something resembling a connection!It's annoying, cause Marianne isn't stupid enough to not realize what Hilda is doing, especially during C and A when she almost admits she's being manipulative, I get that Marianne is a very meek person, but I dont get how she doesn't talk about it at all during the A support. They really should've left out the B support and wrote something about Marianne trying to stay away from Hilda cause she doesn't want to deal with the mind games or something? With Hilda doing some damn reflecting, which she can and does do! I feel their relationship is usually fun, but that B support is just gross! Almost everyone else she tries to manipulate like that either sees through her or calls her on it, and she sometimes admits what she's doing isn't good even if it is to try and avoid having people expect something of her, and either takes a bit more responsibility (Cyril, Mercedes, Lorenz) or tries to compense somehow (Ignatz, Annette, also Mercedes)! And usually if she manipulates "too well" she feels guilty and tries to fix it, but suddenly she's completely fine guilting Marianne into the ground. It's inconsistent! I'm not trying to change your mind about it, maybe subconsciously, sorry. It just makes me sad to see you hate the pairing that much, even if it makes hella sense cause that B support is that garbage. 3 houses' writing is. frustrating, in the worst way... On the one hand you've got great, flawed but lovable characters with interesting dynamics, but then they make Hilda, who's supposed to be a bit of a manipulative asshole with a good heart just. a manipulative scumbag with no qualms about destroying Marianne's self worth some more. Supports with Caspar or Cyril or even Byleth aren't like that! I wanna love Hilda and think, in most content, e.g. heroes or warriors or fics or art, that she and Marianne are a really cute couple that can bring the best from each other, with Marianne making Hilda take a bit more responsibility and Hilda making Marianne a bit more confident in her own worth/rights. It makes me so sad!!!! Jesus christ this is fucking essay I'm so sorry. I'm still gonna send it cause I wonder what you think and value your opinions a lot, but this can't be interesting so I get if you don't wanna fuckin bother. I wanna enjoy the pairing but that can be difficult, so I guess that's why I spewed this much text at you, sorry again 😔
im not gonna reread the supports but if you think only B is fucked up then i am worried about you anon. B might be particularly bad but they are all following the exact same plot of 'hilda convinces marianne she sucks shit and needs more practice, so she can push off all her work on her', which like. yes its manipulative and shitty and awful. but the real issue is the constant fucking 'damn marianne youre basically the worst you suck' i dont CARE about her reason, thats not something you should ever say to someone who is seriously fucking depressed.
as always though anon. i dont give a fuck which anime characters you like. youre more than welcome to toss the whole 3h script into the bin if it makes you feel comfortable liking hilda more. theres no rules and you are only binding yourself.
i am done talking about marihilda though, for the day. so i will probably not answer if you send another ask about them. dont let people on the internet dictate who you can and cant like. love u <3
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1, 2, 3, 4, 13, 21, 23 and 24 about Leo (Oz too if you want? Leo —the FE one— came to mind first lmao).
I could annihilate you with 6 and 11 but I'll be nice, you're shoe'd enough about this guy.
Super funny that I think I could actually reply to some or these questions myself imagining what you'd say xD
you could have. i wouldn't have minded i think my only response would've been (twirls hair) "wooow out here?? 😳😳on main???😳 😳" as though eitan hadn't already beaten you there by sending kevin my way and Specifically 11 to maul me.
i also bet, given how much i ramble to you, that you could probably answer these in my place :'D
i'll stick with leo though just because these things do get lengthy if i'm not too careful
Why do you like or dislike this character?
He easily charmed me with how easy it is to bully him but I think as I kept playing and getting to know him more I Regret it entirely.
I've talked about this a lot before (at least one gush pass that was given to me by Nick myeheh), but his character's particularly fun for me because of how his upbringing pretty much leaves him trapped in a complex between "seeking love in the only way he knew how to -> the people he loves and he HIMSELF placing himself up on a pedestal -> not feeling that he's actually loved and incapable of being vulnerable with the people he loves". Funnily enough, the same reason why I love him is also the same thing that also frustrates me about his character like IF YOU HAD A CHANCE..... IF YOU HAD JUST ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE.... OR IF YOU KNEW...... YOU ARE ACTUALLY LOVED
There was also this concept I had in my head about a fic that inevitably got dumped entirely (tossed out the window and set on fire with a flamethrower), which plays around the edges of "You learned to be a weapon first before you learned to be human." And I'm not saying that's exactly what his character is, but at least the way he was raised -- seeing his worth equate to usability -- it feels very akin to that.
Something something "he's held onto that knife for so long he doesn't know how to put it down".
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
I DONT REMEMBER THIS SUPPORT but someone said he admires Odin's dramatic hero monologues and in my head, if Leo were just a bit more unhinged, he would have actually started LARPing too. It's not my favorite, it's just one of my favorites lol
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
Man eats his tomatoes raw and the fandom/IntSys itself makes it his whole personality.
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
🧍🏼 Unfortunately my brain's blanking I don't have ideas for this sowwy
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
The irony that is "I hate that he has such a deep association with tomatoes" and I turn around and name his playlist "🍅boy".
He deserves better than that aldskjfalj
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
Uhhhhh I had to reread several of my fics first for Leo because it's been a while since I had actually written anything for him...I'm starting to doubt my abilities to write him while reading through all this LMAO
Something I don't like about the way I write him is I feel I have a tendency to lean into his doubts a lot more than I mean to. I think Leo's a pretty confident guy. If there's something he needs and wants to do, he will do it without the warranted subtext that is his doubts. Trying to find that balance that is understanding his motives and his actions is something that I always find myself struggling with when it comes to writing for him, but for the same reasons, it also makes writing for him a delight!
As for something I do that I like for him...His thought process? I guess? I won't say that he's tight-lipped, but he has a lot more going on in his thought process than what he says. I know I just said I didn't like how much I lean into writing his doubts, and maybe this is just a me thing with my writing, but I've noticed for a few of these fics, when Leo makes a decision, it's made after carefully thinking it over. You'll get very very long explanations of what's going on through his head, shortly followed by a kinda short dialogue with another character regarding his decision. I guess I just like sitting in the process idk asjflkjh (this isnt a good at all explanation I'm just having a hard time explaining this or well, talking about my writing sorry ;;)
23. Favorite picture of this character?
If I could just put any of ai-wa's art here I would. I just adore the art so so so much and I haven't seen anyone else really get his character the way her art does mwah
But this one from the manga :] (WHICH I NEED TO RETURN TO i was watching something for fates and had a little sad chirp noise moment so I stopped. Like. Everything ALKDJFAKDSLJH)
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
🤔another fandom....so it can't be another FE game (I would have said Berkut lmao).... hm.....
I can't tell if it's just because he's sorta been fluttering through my mind, but I'd maybe argue Diluc actually............... I'm not thinking hard enough.
Looks wise, I still laugh a lot about him looking like Count Waltz from my childhood game Eternal Sonata. I was so jumpscared when I first saw Leo, but definitely made me 10x more likely to want to bully him. I don't even like Count Waltz aside from his voice actor's pretty cool
#dont worry im embarrassed with myself enough#my beloved loser (said while weeping in regret)#i need to go back to writing him someday#but it's been so long... i dont have the confidence to do so....#answered#i think ill just#tuesday tag#yeah :)#written kinda fast and with a very very bzzzzt bzzzzzt brain. i need taro drinks to save me
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cw emotional/psychological abuse (im ok dw just. more reflecting)
ive been rereading my journal and got to the bit where im dissecting my exs callout post about me. looking back its kinda hilarious cus if you have the tiniest ounce of critical thinking skills, youll immediatley see that he contradicted himself several times in his own post and his ridiculous assertions just get better with age. heres some highlights
calling himself a “kid” at 23 while slagging me off voraciously for stuff that i did at 22 and 23, 4+ years before this callout post and some of it before he even met me
making a huge deal about a 19 & 23 (up to 23 & 27) age gap like its pedophilia lol
accusing me of ableism in literally the same sentence as dunking on me for my autism symptoms, then doing it again several times more in the next paragraph, like blatant ableism in the same breath as accusing me of ableism, sure thing hon
misrepresenting events where he deliberately provoked me, leaving out important information and saying I was “playing the victim” cus i told people that the two (2!!) incidents of alleged “abuse” were in direct response to some particularly nasty shit hed been throwing at me
accusing me of making him homeless when i literally saved him from homelessness several times
accusing me of manipulating him to be polyamorous when he was literally dating someone else when we got together lmao (as was I & we were all fully aware, just like in a regular consensual polyamorous situation) (iirc he also had a side fuck that his partner didnt know about so really doing great monogamy there, being manipulated into evil polyamory by evil me)
accusing me of cheating when i told them i was dating someone, who they fully well knew i was getting close to and wanting to date, who they told me was okay if I wanted to date them. they forced me to break up with that person and apologise over months, agreeing at one point that it wasn’t actually cheating, but then conveniently it was cheating again whenever he needed something to hold against me
anyway ive still not fully recovered from being used up quite thoroughly and emotionally abused and gaslit and accused of the worst kinds of things because after years of torment I snapped a couple times. I still find it in my mind sometimes to miss him and wanna reach out and then I remember how it felt to be with him and then how it felt to *not* be with him and how it felt to be punished for not being with him, and then to be punished just for existing, i guess. being accused of punishing him when i was having emotional reactions or tried to distance myself cus being around him made me want to kermit. funny how thats his choice of words as well and how being with him changed me fundamentally and i am still very much working on undoing the damage, i suspect it will take a long while. meanwhile hes prancing around in la and probably has forgtten completely that i even exist. which is wild considering he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me for so fucking long. its my fault also because i let him, but i was young and stupid, (in his words) just a kid at 23.
he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me - and I let him; when you put it like that, it’s absolutely no wonder it blew up completely in our faces. And as the older one and the supposedly more experienced one, I guess it would have been on me to not let him put all that on me. I didn’t know much at the time though, pretty sure I didn’t even know what boundaries were (much less how to set, communicate and enforce them). But also I was interested in him and wanted to get closer and I think even then I knew that if I failed to give him whatever tf he wanted, he would just leave and probably call me toxic. Idk why it ever seemed like a good idea to get close to him. I just dont know anymore but I guess I did learn a lot from that relationship. Including not to let people like that get that fucking close to me again.
#i need a tag for my own rambles#abuse cw#emotional abuse cw#suicidal ideation cw#this is not a fun read#sorry#u rly dont have to read it
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im just gonna spitball fic ideas here bc i dont have any rn and i wanna see if this helps me brainstorm
i kinda feel like writing bruharv, but i also feel like i write literally so much bruharv all the time and im kind of sick of being That Guy? it feels like im incapable of doing anything else or something. but i also dont really have any concrete ideas besides vague feelings that are about as coherent as mashing two barbie dolls together and saying “now kiss”
on that note though, i could revisit bruharv as it stands in the jdau, but i dont think theres a lot to say right now. i think i covered it all in lost days. there probably wont be more to say about it until after jason tells them hes back, and then itll be getting into more of the [spoilers] betrayal stuff and harvey and 2f taking the confession completely differently from bruce and how that feeds into the divorce arc and how insufferable they are. btu i still havent really figured out how i want to write jason telling harvey and 2f in particular, and i kinda think i dont want to write it, and just want to skip forward until after? the dick and jason fic was almost impossible to write particularly bc of shit im going thru irl rn and ik that fic would be harder. maybe ill just do that and pick up with a fic of what their relationship is starting to shape into post rh. should proooobably finish reading damians comics first tho and maybe some of cass’s (i might not bother reading any n52 ones, given that almost everything so far has been 100% preboot characterizations)
on a DIFFERENT note but still bruharv related, i could indulge that little voice in the back of my head that wants me to dig my fingers into full on btas characterization with judge and hardac!bruce and the full mess. i dont know what id do with it though i just have a lot of feelings about both of them
setting aside all of that,
im still thinking about that detective eddie/brce au. i just picked up a bunch of detective books from the library yesterday so ill probably read those over the weekend and then maybe ill finally hammer out some kind of plot. but thats not gonna be until this weekend and in the meantime ??? i have a lot of thoughts about like the kinds of people they are and the kinds of characters and the bakcground characters in this au but no plot and augh. maybe i should bend someones ear and just rant characters for a while and see what happens
i also mentioned ages ago that i was thinking abt a pjo au where nico brings jason bck from the dead and leo is heavily involved and shit and i still think that that would be sick asf but id have to reread all of pjo to do it probably and rn my reading list consists of detective novels, then asoue, THEN maybe pjo, so god honestly knows when/if ill get around to it. its also like. when i came up w this idea i was in a place where the vibes w my writing was very much melancholy and bittersweet and heavy on the death and rn im uhhh not in that place as much anymore im struggling to figure out what direction i want to go in instead
maybe ill go back to my roots andjust start writing fluffy pjo fics again. REALLY return to the roots. just garbage nonsense fics. idk.
i wish i had the braincells to write something hs but i dont and i havent in ages and theres a million reasons for that but ill probably try and reread a few of my older fics soon and well see what comes out of that
anyway thats about where my head is at rn lolll i dont expect anyone to have read this but if you have thoughts i wouldnt mind hearing them it helps to feel like im not talking to air sometimes
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Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)
Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.
I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???
(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)
CW for sex talk (again)
How does one get over purity culture?
Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.
Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.
According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.
Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.
You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.
The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.
Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.
Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)
Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.
*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).
#purity culture#sex talk#christianity#sex and relationships#sex and religion#mylife#answered asks#aspec#cw sex
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