#i dont even. i dont care how people would label what i feel for them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellisharchive · 3 months

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Heyoooo! You probably know me from messaging you but I wanted to ask if you could write a Vox x Fem!reader where reader just takes care of a really wasted but infatuated Vox?

My Queen

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▏C/TW! ▬ 18+, drunk Vox, jealous reader, fluff fluff fluff, bathing

▏C/TW! ▬ Literally wrote this at 2 am and got done at 3 am, so not beta read <3 TYSM for the request! I hope you enjoy it!. AGAIN HOW THE FUCK DID I ACCIDENTLY POST THIS THIS WAS A DRAFT. I dont like how this turned out tbh

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You and Vox were close, but you wouldn't dare say that you two were dating. You did have a small crush on him and was scared that confessing would ruin your fiendship. Little did you know he also had a crush on you as well, it was just unfortunate he was letting his business and brand take importance over his personal life. You were an honorary Vee and his best friend. Sure, Velvette and Valentino were his friends too, but you always got jealous as you watched Val and Vox act in such a romantic way with each other all the time. You always suspected that they were a thing, and even if they didn't have a label, you respected it. So, you always kept your feelings hidden deep down

. But you did need a break, it got so tiring having to watch and hear them act all cute and making sexual advances from the time to time. You've been ignoring Vox for at least two weeks, probably not the best choice but your emotions got the better of you. But tonight, you decided to get out of the tower and have some fun. You went to a pretty well known nightclub- not owned by Vox, a rare occurrence- to let off some steam. Your goal was to get laid by the end of the night with a convenientially attractive stranger, but life doesn't always work out as you want.

Yet, when Vel called you as you were about to get on the dancefloor with a hot bull, you dropped everything to take care of the television that was drowning his sorrows in alcohol. According to her, he kept talking about how he wished he could tell you something and how beautiful you were. You mulled over it as you walked back through the tower in your fancy nightclub dress just an hour earlier. While on your way there, you came across Velvette who looked very pissed off and scrolling through phone in the main living area of the personal living quarters. When she saw you, she flipped you off and rolled your eyes.

"Fucking finally! Vox has been throwing a hissy fit waiting for his queen to come and shut him up. Fuck you for taking so long, he's called me twenty fucking times asking where you were bevause he forgot he changed your contact info!" That was all she said before growling and walking away, signalling that you were going to handle this yourself like normal. You never let what Vel says get to you, that's just how she normally is. But he changed your contact info? What to? You've calmed down a drunken Vox many times before, but this time seemed bad.

"Vox?" You knock and call out before opening his door to find a very wasted man laying on his couch, hiccuping and looking incredibly sad. He was slumped over with a wine bottle in his hand, no wine glass, and the red liquid was spilled all over himself. Wine? Really? He got drunk on wine out of his entire collection? He's usually a fun drunk, cracking jokes and overall being the most funny in the room from the out of pocket shit he says. So seeing him so down makes you feel guilty for ignoring him. But as soon as he looked at you, his face lit up and a smile immediately popped up. He dropped the glass and stood up, trying to rush up to you. However, because he was so inebriated, he started to stumble, which caused you to rush up and catch him from his shoulders.

"My Queen! Where did you go? I missed you my sweet!" The comment about Vel calling you his "queen" you just passed off as Vel being Vel, but now he was calling that you too? Maybe playing into this fantasy would be best, drunk people are never rational and don't know what they're even saying.

"Well my king, I had a very important meeting with another kingdom to attend to. But you requested my presence immediately!" You spoke matter-of-fact as you navigated him to the bathroom, it was hard already with him being unable to properly walk, but he also kept staring at you, so he stepped over his own feet countless times.

"Hehehe...I like when you call me that. YOUR king. I'm your king! How lucky am I?" He giggled and that made your heart beat faster. How lucky was he? What was he talking about? Maybe this was just his drunk self talking, you knew he didn't feel that way, he absolutely had a thing for Val, not you. Gulping, you finally manage to drag him to the bathroom where you sat him on the toilet. He would be so sticky with all that wine that soaked through his clothes, so you were going to bathe him. Sure, getting him in and out his going to be a challenge, but you still cared for this man a lot and wanted the best for him.

"I'm getting you your pjs, do not move ok?" You started to leave the bathroom when he whined loudly, making a swipe for your wrist but missed as he looked at you with puppy eyes. Due to his television screen head, his facial expressions can get extremely animated, unlike normal sinners. His eyes basically took up his entire screen, only leaving a little bit of space for a pout. The sight made your heart ache.

"Don't leave again my lovely queen! I need to tell you something!" Sighing, you gave him a soft smile and walked back up to him. Picking up his hand, you put your other hand on top of his and gave him the most softest smile you muster..

"It is bedtime, my king, you must be bathed before heading to our bed. You can tell me once we retire" Our bed. Saying it made your heart do flips.

"Oookkk my beautiful queen! Hehehe you're so pretty..." He had a dopey smile as you walked away, heart hammering so loud it should have been echoing in the room. He thought you were pretty? Fuck- why does he made you feel this way? You knew that look too, it was a look of complete love. He certainly couldn't love you though, that has to be impossible. He was with Val, he had to be. Going on autopilot, you gather up his favorite pyjamas and mentally prepare yourself for going back into the flames. When you get back, he was still sitting on the toilet, giggling and staring ahead as he was talking to himself about how in love with him he was.

What?

He was drunk, he was drunk, he was drunk- why couldn't you even entertain the idea of him returning your feelings? Why was it so hard to accept that fact? Taking a deep breath, you walk into the room and he lights up again.

"My queen! Are thou ready to bathe me? You got my favorite pjs! And you have an amazing ass! There's a reason why I married you!" Freezing once again, you ignoring his comment about your ass in luei of the last thing he said. Married...you? Did Vox think you two married each other? The thought made you shiver and face warm with how amazing that sounded. Being officially tied to him forever, waking up with him together, and getting to love him forever. Standing up after finishing setting the dials to the right temperature, you looked at him and now needed to know more.

"And why else did you marry me my dear?" Battting your eyelashes with the most innocent face you could gather, you started to stip him of his clothes. You've seen him naked a handful of times which always made you incredibly flustered, but undressing him? It made you nervous, especially with how he's acting towards you.

"You're the beeeeest, like, THE best! You're so pretty and gorgeous and have SUCH a hot bod! But you're so so sweet and amazing and help me with everything!" Did he...did he actually love you? Was whatever he was doing with Val was nothing? Shakily manging to get him completely undressed, you stood him up to maneuver him into the large tub. Not trusting yourself to say anything more, you gently lay him down in the perfectly warm water and start lathering him up. You also never bathed him before, so your nerves were going to overdrive. He took your silence and silenced himself too, maybe he somehow knew you were really anxious right now. Taking great care in not getting water on his head, you see as his face turned from a happy one, to a somber one.

The rest of the process of getting him out, drying him off, changing into his pjs, and moving him to his bed was deadly quiet. You felt like you would be breaking some unsaid rule. Tucking him into bed, you left a glass of water and painkillers on his nightstand, turning off the big light and turning on the lamp. Sitting down next to his curled up body, you rubbed his back and felt conflicted. He's drunk as balls. He probably won't remember any of this. Getting up and saying goodnight, he yells for you one last time.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did wrong but I'm sorry. Is it Val? We aren't anything serious. I was too scared to tell you because you're so beautiful and I didn't want you to leave me. I love you" Vox looked down at his lap with a sullen expression. Heart hurting for the countless time today, you gave him a kiss on his screen and turned away with a smile

"Tell me when you're sober"

#vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

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k3n-dyll · 1 month

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maybe because not everyone has to cater to black and brown readers? if i feel excluded then talk to ur black and brown writers bc why tf would (for ex.) white writers write black readers when…when they aren’t?? yall aren’t victims write ur own shit if u care so much like idk what to tell u but not everyone has to bow down and write the way you want them too.

The fact that this is what you got from me saying that POC feel excluded from fandom is...insane.

I hesitate to even answer this because you sound stupid as hell, but since I think other people need to get this shit through their skulls as well:

If you are a writer, and you claim to be writing an "x reader" fanfic for a character you like, the general consensus is that "reader" in this situation should be neutral for the most part. Sure, there's different versions of that ( "x fem reader", "x masc reader", etc.") , but generally, the idea is that "reader" in this situation could be anyone, yes? A lot of writers on this app and others, write "reader" as if tiny white women are the default.

And you know what?

If you wanna write that way, fine, but say that. If you so desprately want to write about Abby Anderson fucking a 5ft nothing white girl with blonde hair and green eyes - write that. But don't call that shit an "x reader" when you know its a self insert meant to exclude everybody that doesnt look like you. Dont claim to be a safe place for all readers if when POC say they feel excluded from the things you write, you say stupid shit like what this anon just did. If your shit is labeled "x reader" with no other warnings, one should be able to assume that they arent going to see any specifics about body type, hair textures, skin color or eye color - but no. Thats not the case.

I swear, every time we bring this shit up you bitches act like we killed your fucking grandma. If you dont wanna write in a way that everyone can consume, fine, but dont make it seem as if petite white girls are just the default human in every scenario. Theres a content warning over every fic, if you dont want to see how problematic it is to write as if whiteness is the default then the least you could do it leave a big fat warning in that little "CW" section to let us know that you didnt write this with the existence of people that dont look like you in mind.

Oh, and I do write my own stuff btw. Don't ever come in my inbox with this bullshit again. Pissing me off first thing in the morning😒

#tlou2 #lesbian #wlw #abby anderson #☆kennie's rambles #abby anderson x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams #abby tlou2 #please get a fucking grip #i hope you stub your toe #sevika x reader #abby x reader

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rouge-the-bat · 8 months

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i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

#lesbian #multigender #genderfluid #lesboy #genderfluid lesbian #multigender lesbian

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villainessxassassin · 2 years

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"I think I've fallen for you, and I can't seem to get back up"

When you've fallen for them, literally.

includes: seperate! Vil Schoenheit, Riddle Rosehearts, Idia Shroud x reader

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Maybe if you paid more close attention to your surroundings you wouldn't be in this predicament, but then again you could've sworn you tripped on literal thin air and just face planted to the ground, and to make matters worse it just had to be infront of one of NRC's most renowned Dorm Leaders.

In your attempts to save whatever embarrassing amount of dignity you had left, you just had to pair it up with some basic cringy pick up line.

"What are you-"

'dont say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid...!'

"I think I've fallen for you, and I can't seem to get back up."

ahhh... but you weren't lying, you've fallen both figuratively and literally in a sense.

Vil

"As poetic as you may get, I'd prefer to be within eye level with someone that's confessing their love for me."

You couldn't tell if Vil was being serious with how blank his face looked. Despite your current awareness of the situation and the abrupt response you had infront of the pomiofere dormhead, a comical arrow pierced your very being as his words repeated again and again in your head.

Spiralling in utter confusion as his words gave off two meanings: one was that he just straight up rejected you and second was 'I'd prefer to be within eye level with someone that's confessing their love for me."

Maybe he'd give off a different reaction if you said it while maintaining leveled eye contact with him? You were already embarrassed enough so it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself on this one. On Vil's part he didn't know what to make of the situation.

But he did see potential in your attempt, so that's why he chose not to poke at you and instead helped you up without another word. Only a short 'be careful next time' left his soft lips as all you could do was stare, mind finally comprehending the fact that it was THE Vil Schoenheit you just stupidly tripped infront of.

how embarassing

To Vil, there wasn't anything special with what you said earlier, rather he's already heard similar phrases come out from other people's mouths that he can clump your statement with theirs. Yet for a brief second the corners of his mouth lifted ever so softly, before going back to their original position when he found you staring at him.

"I-" before you could even get another word out he's already had his back turned to you, walking back in the same direction where he came

You'd think he was annoyed, but in truth his heart started beating rapidly in his chest for some unknown reason he refused to acknowledge, but not wanting to loose touch of this strange feeling, he called out to you before he could turn the corner.

"Should you need assistance the next time you choose to say such engaging words, do come find me. I'm looking forward to whatever else you have instore."

Riddle

"If you're going to fall then do so in a more elegant and dignified way, and no that wasn't an invitation for you to just fall for— infront of others whenever you please!"

Despite it being you who should be embarrassed, Riddle seems to have shared the same shade of red you had slowly spreading across your face, though his was radiating a more darker shade.

Had you just kept your mouth shut he would have passed you off as clumsy, scolded you a little maybe for your miscalculated step before helping you to your feet, and went back on his merry way towards the hearslabyul dorm.

BUT NO. You just had to open your mouth and now you have reduced Riddle to what you'd call a deer caught in headlights. He was quick to clear his throat before crossing his arms while looking down on you with a deadpan look on his face. (Thought his cheeks still carried the tiniest tints of pink)

Riddle was always straight forward with his words, always quick to correct someone when they made a mistake, and or punish them when he see's fit.

But he couldn't list down your quick confession as something to be labeled as a 'mistake', and punishing you for something as trivial as making him shy embarrassing him would be plain immature on his part.

So he let you off with just a light scolding, but there wasn't any hint of annoyance or anything negative in his tone of speaking, seeming way to busy flicking his eyes to the floor and back to your own.

You also realized this was the first time you've ever seen Riddle not hold direct eye contact with anyone, which scared you a little. Perhaps even eye contact was something he couldn't bare to waste time on you on? (he just shy bby)

Coming back to your senses, your train of thought vanished when your eyes landed on Riddle's gloved hands on the collar of your uniform, fingers delicate with adjusting and smoothing out the folds and wrinkles as a soft sight left his lips and he finally held eye contact with you.

"Do be careful next time atleast. It would be a shame if you crumpled your uniform over something as trivial as getting distracted... And don't use me as an excuse for seizing your attention!"

Idia

"Me?! uhm s-so would you like help getting back up...? Wait, no— first, are you alright? ah hold on—"

For once in Idia's whole entire life of living he has never felt this overwhelmed and confused before. He'll admit that pick up line was kinda lowkey something straight out of some generic romance anime that he can think of at the top of his head, but that doesn't change the fact people. you said it to him of all people.

If the pause button existed in real life he would have pressed that thing at light speed because the poor guy needs time to process things. He could have just apologized and walked away, maybe pretend he didn't see nor hear you and go on with his day, but even Idia wasn't that cold hearted to just leave you there.

Wether if you meant what you said or not, he offered his hand, looking at the side with quivering lips and squinted eyes. You could have sworn the tips of his hair started to change color, but that was probably due to the angle of the lighting.

He wanted to faint, but then that'd end up with both of you on the floor and that doesn't really paint a good picture in his head.

You apologize briefly after getting up, repeatedly bowing your head in a back and forth motion after realising how careless you've been with both your actions and your words. Idia did the same but in a less frantic matter, waving his hands infront of him while averting his eyes to look at anything but you.

After that day Idia couldn't seem to concentrate on his game at all. For starters he tried imagining what would have happened if the roles were reversed and he was the one that tripped.

Hell, he'd die from embarrassment right then and there. A part of him envied how easy it was for you to say such bold choice of words without breaking a sweat (but internally you were dying)

Yet he couldn't deny the fact it made him slightly happy, despite the situation he was placed in, it felt nice being dragged into what you'd call a "suprise event" in gamer terms. He couldn't imagine himself being in the same situation ever again after that encounter, but he wouldn't mind talking to you again under different circumstances.

"Unlike you, I don't need to trip over my own two feet in order to fall for you- Nope! there's no way I can say that and expect to continue living the day after!"

(have you seen Idia's voicelines? even if he said majority half of them sarcasticly im still swooning)

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i fvcking tripped and that's the story of how this fic was born (I feel smart when writing titles/prompts but am horrible at writing them, sadly) -kishira

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #y/n #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons #riddle rosehearts x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #vil shoenheit x you #vil x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #idia x reader

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electraslight · 2 months

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fave bevin headcanons ??? ik u probably have answered this and dgaf but I love them and love hearing ur ideas and opinions they're always so great ☹️❤️‍🔥( im a lurker so I apologize for the lack of interaction !!!!! )

hiii taking a break in my no tumblr run to prosteleytize abt bevin, here are some loose headcannons

-kevin had a running joke going for a bit where he would not let ben out of the car until he gave him a kiss on the cheek aka Kiss Tax especially when people who weren't ben gwen and kevin were also in the car. he thinks the way ben gets mad about it is very funny, but it kind of backfires on him because ben stops getting mad and just does it and now every time he drives ben somewhere he gets a kiss. hes considering making the ride tax something more embarassing, like kissing with tongue.

-kevin sleeps with such a wide berth that he will somehow be on top of someone during any nap, even if the person is sitting feet away. the only one who's ok with being snored and drooled on is ben, because he is constantly cold and appreciates a bro snuggle

-ben and kevin do that scoobly do shit when theyre scared (a la jumping into each others arms n high pitched screaming)

-u may at this point be like 'hey these aren't bevin headcannons this is just them doing mildly gay best friend stuff' and to this i raise u this: i feel like, if ben and kevin were to ever aknowlege their feelings for each other, they wouldn't be the type of ppl to 'date'. theyre kind of beyond dating at this point, arent they? their relationship isnt really defined by human terms, as theyre both distanced from a lot of human social norms (kind of teetering on the brink of human and alien) and also theyve been through so much shit it would be weird to suddenly go through the human rituals of 'hold hands and go to resturants and introduce him to the parents blah blah blah'. they're more than that, and the way they go about being in love is kind of the same way they're friends, still joined at the hip and ragging on each other, still getting into fights and willing to kill and die for each other. its like being best friends and being 30 year married people at once. theyre sure theres some alien word for it, but they dont really care. ben is kevins and kevin is bens, and thats how they roll. and they make out with tongue. duh.

(clarifying for ppl w no reading comprehension: they are in gay homo love but they dont put labels like 'boyfriend' or 'dating' on it bc once youve held another boys hand and made the choice to destroy your body to save him twice + your lover learned what it meant to be a hero from u and you are a symbol of hope for him and he is for u you cant really just be like 'heres my bae' now can you. relationship anarchy win.)

#ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 alien force #ben tennyson #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 classic #kevin levin #ben ten #b10 #bevin #ben10

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mishapen-dear · 3 months

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Cant sleep so im thinking about ayhalo

I think its like. one sided. qaypierre WOULD smooch that demon and take him on dates. qbad would not recognize anything as a romantic gesture. aypierre could throw a bouquet of chocolate roses at him and bad would just be like ! thank you :}

like they love each other, absolutely. they TRUST each other, to the point where i’d even say it gets in the way of bad seeing aypierre as anything more than a good friend. that’s his guy. The dude always in his corner. Friend resource label: team mate (coparent) (down to help kidnap people). bad doesnt do classic romantic relationships- all of his relationships are INCREDIBLY queer, but the closest he usually gets to what others read as romance is a classic chewtoy4chewtoy dynamic. He LOVES to fuck with people and he loves to get fucked with and if there’s a nice jawline or pretty muscles included?? huge bonus !!

he’s got something- not kinder, with aypierre? not calmer, either, but stable, maybe. pierre has proven, over and over again, that he’s on bad’s side. Spying on tubbo, encouraging bad’s pranks, the kidnapping- i can’t call it a reliable dynamic, not with how paranoid bad is, even when he trusts, but there is still a feeling of understanding that, wherever pierre’s limits are for when he cant support bad (or genuinely turn against him), it hasnt been reached yet

aypierre, on the other hand, i dont know enough about to be absolutely sure but there are some Vibes. ironically, i think hes feeling like his relationships are unreliable. max was going to have their baby, and then he wasnt, and then he left him, then max fucking died. plus whatever is happening with him and ayrobot, which probably leaves him feeling like he cant rely on Himself. like he had, if not a little crush on bad, at least some Interest in him, before. as well as several islanders. i remember the days of the Bed Threat.

but thats part of it, too? because those flings didnt have that emotional connection, and i always got the sense that he started looking for that with maximus, to Love and Be Loved rather than pure lust. To care about someone, genuinely, and be cared about in return. but he didnt get that with the flings, and We know that max was using him, but i dont know if he did, but maybe he had a feeling about it and maybe he also had a feelinf about maximus’ feelings towards bad and maybe- there’s something about that? A little push of not-spite-not-projection onto bad.

because bad IS that reliability, right now. he’s a fucking gremlin. a bastard. a prankster silly guy. he trusts aypierre and aypierre trusts him and they dont share everything but so often, when it comes down to it, it is them against the world. them in the corner, caught, aypierre shouting about kissing as a cover for their crimes while bad runs giggling away from him.

#qsmp character analysis #qsmp shipping #<- because i DO think bad would be down to ~fornicate~#but i dont think pierre drifts into that chewtoy zone enoufh for bad to get that Obsession #theyre kidnapping and escaping buddies !! who share food and secrets and strategies !!#but bad would do the same with the other french yknow #god i could go on for YEARS about how queer qbad’s relationships can get that demon is full of LOVE and that love is QUEER #i could make an argument that even his parenting style is affected by his queerness #in the way that he takes on all required roles for the eggs and cares for them SO MUCH #and SO OBVIOUSLY #as a dad/uncle that you dont often get to see in fiction #to the point where he is still in some way seen as a mother figure #but thats a whole different post #anyway this is part-analysis and part-silly written at ass-o’#clock in the morning #if i remember ill come back to tag the ship for filtering purposes but i dont wanna throw ‘i think its one sided and exacerbated by grief #and general yearning for love/stability in an ever changing world’ when prople are just tryin to make em kiss #i respect the kisser causers have fun yall im enjoying seeing it #god i need to sleep #ayhalo

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st5lker · 11 months

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one thing i dont see talked about very often is the casual transmisogyny specific to nonbinary transfems especially those of us who have any kind of masculine presentation/pronouns. like as a bigender person i consider myself both a trans woman and a gay man at the same time in different parts and everyone just kind of sees that and goes "oh so youre not an actual trans woman so being transmisogynistic doesnt matter". and believe me i dont consider myself having it "worse" like im far safer irl than most binary post-transition transfems since i present masculinely irl and I constantly recognize that but when it comes to casual transmisogyny people are transmisogynistic in a very insidious way when youre nonbinary.

like people who would normally be really careful about checking themselves for transmisogyny just throw everything out the window when they realize youre nonbinary. you tell them you consider yourself a woman and a man at the same time, or anything in between, or have any kind of attachment to masculinity, and they immediately mentally categorize you as a man. it doesnt matter how you present, what you say, whether it's online or offline---if you're amab and don't fit the bill of being "woman enough" people online will go "thats a man" end of sentence.

the most painful part is that it comes from everybody. it comes from the cis lesbians that called that amab nonbinary person on tiktok a rapist for saying they liked when bi women primarily attracted to women were into them. it comes from the "femboy" obsessed tme transmascs and nbs who don't take your concerns about their transmisogyny seriously. and rarely, but most hurtfully, it comes from other trans women. anyone else remember when lesbianchemicalplant endlessly harassed a trans girl on here for daring to call her attraction to men gay? I do. I do because I saw it at a vulnerable time in my development and it made me repress myself for years because I thought being gay for men and a trans women were the most mutually exclusive things in the world and daring to say you can connect to both of those will get you labeled a Fake Transfem that's doing it for clout. i STILL get a feeling in the back of my mind that whenever i mention being a transfem after talking abt being a gay man people will be like "dont be ridiculous you're not REALLY transfem".

this of course comes from the fact that trans women are held to an impossibly high standards of femininity. you have to be a Capital W Woman to be taken seriously. meaning, of course, that you have to have long hair and thin shoulders and wear dresses and be skinny and short and attractive and usually white (unless they have a fetish for black women, then you can be black IF you hit the rest of those criteria). no matter what you can't be anything CLOSE to a man. make sure you take hrt and get The Surgery too and throw in some breast implants while you're at it.

if you're not rejecting every single part of you that could at all be associated with masculinity you're not even trying, you're just a man, you're just like all other men, and they don't have to care what you say about how you're treated. that type of transmisogyny is so deeply ingrained in literally everyone and its so depressing. it comes back to haunt ALL transfems but the way nonbinary transfems are treated is a perfect example of it.

#trans lesbians are another great example of this. don't even fucking dare consider being a butch lesbian if you're not cis #bc then youre basically just a cishet man right? in everyone elses eyes you are.#this is ok to rb btw

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sevenrs · 9 months

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been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!

#rain world #broadcast.txt #gw #headcanon #my askbox is also open for questions #only if it relates to gw/cw or any other iterator oc you want help with plurality for #and not to pry into my personal life #i am a rain world blog. not a system blog #i wanted to offer some help to this part of the community #i will block anyone who gets weird about me or this post

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urfavtwat · 26 days

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what do you have to say bout the post going around for you? i wanna hear your side.

Gonna address this only the once.

I have zero interest in discussing the topic nor to badmouth anyone involved in have no ill will to give anyone i wish them all the best.

Someone put a post about me which named me individually as being a cause of their trauma and provided the reasoning for this was that i didn’t want to pursue a relationship. It explains how we spoke alot (which we did) and that we really liked one another (we did). Ultimately she wanted to explore leaving her partner whom she was poly with for me to be monogamous. I didnt want this as A i wouldnt feel comfortable doing that to the guy as it started to feel like an affair and B we hadnt even met so it was just like jumping ahead a bit. I decided to distance myself from the situation. To claw any assistance on making people dislike me she also labelled me as aggressive which i never was im the least aggressive person.

I stopped messaging the girl in an attempt to distance myself and received alot of abuse and threats from her inner circle (many of the people who interacted with the post) calling me fat and ugly and threatening my health as some live nearby. I asked her to get them to stop and she obliged and discussed it with them and then we stopped speaking again. She then called me a cunt publicly out of the blue and blocked me on everything then turned to badmouthing me online.

Ultimately it led to a post labelling me as a player and that i do this to loads of people. I barely even use this app and many could attest that they currently sit in my dms on delivered as i dont really message people. I was a single man on tumblr so even if i had spoken to others or liked others photos it would be fine as she was in a relationship with someone else and i was single. I also have myself as unavailable in my bio which has been in place for around 2 years so i struggle to see where im inviting that attention or encouraging it.

It reminds me alot of a situation with a gentleman on here whos name escapes me something like theakrus something and he repeatedly got badmouthed by a someone who got their friends to jump on it and cause this cancel culture with no grounds and just try and cause someone stress over them doing nothing

Finally i want to make it clear that no one is to pursue this or to harass anyone involved as she has publicly discussed this being a topic that upsets her and i dont want to fuel that fire and cause any disturbance. As mentioned i wish everyone the best i dont hold grudges, i made no attempt to stop these people to post this as its their right to do so i blocked most involved but im not gonna fight it its a public domain. Those who read the post properly can likely see its just waffle and someone is unhappy with their exchange with someone who at the time was single. I lost about 10 followers from it and im not egomaniacal enough to care about my follower count so i wont lose any sleep on that part and hopefully it brought the woman involved some relief getting it off her chest

I hope this answers the question and sorry for the mahoosive read

#anon #ask #please dont ask any more about it as i really dont care #i dont mean that to be disrespectful #also its worth noting this isnt something recent this is ages ago thats just now being brought up which is dumb af

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fuck-customers · 6 months

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🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

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snaxle · 6 months

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just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

#og #txt

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polyamorouscultureis · 8 months

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Hi, I have a situation that I can’t really talk about with ppl. I need to talk to someone about it tho bc I’m so confused, I hope it’s ok I’m asking you? When I find ppl in similar situations online, all I see is them being shamed and told they don’t really love their partner. I thought maybe ppl who are poly have more understanding for how I’m feeling. That’s why I’m here. I’ve been with my partner for 12 years now and I’m so in love with them, I want to spend life with them. I also have a good friend that I like very much. I want her in my life. Recently I’ve been starting to think about her a lot more and even started to feel butterflies when I see her or when I think of her and I want to see her a lot more. I have no real desire to be with her like in a romantic or sexual relationship. I just want to spend time with her, hug/cuddle, laugh and talk. I want to be close to her emotionally, but not really sexually. I feel really confused about this crush and idk if I have to tell my partner? I don’t want to make them unnecessarily insecure or jealous. I know my partner and I think if I told them they’d want me to stop seeing this friend of mine. And this just makes me sad and idk if I’m being unfair here. Should I communicate my feelings even though I don’t even really know myself what these feelings mean? Maybe those feelings will pass and I’m just overthinking it?

I'll be honest with you, sometimes the lines are so blurry between friendship, romance, and sexual attraction that trying to find a label for it is more energy than it's worth. In my ideal world, everyone would do whatever they want to do with different people without feeling the need to put their desires into just one category.

I dont know if you have a crush on your friend, but it's clear that you care about both her and your partner very deeply. In my opinion, you should never feel the need to choose between a partner and a friend being in your life. But when the lines aren't clear I understand that it gets complicated.

I would talk to your partner about it, not necessarily trying to open the relationship or anything (unless you want to), but just getting clarity on what the two of you consider to be cheating (holding hands, cuddling, kissing cheeks, kissing lips, different kinds of sex, etc?) and make sure they are comfortable with the ways you interact with your friend. It doesn't necessarily mean dating them, but you can still be emotionally close. You mentioned, for example, wanting to cuddle with your friend but not be sexually involved. If your partner sees no issue with cuddling, then everyone gets what they want and no one feels guilty, jealous, or disappointed! If they're not, the two of you can spend some time drawing specific lines. And of course, reassurance that loving many people in many different ways doesn't mean loving anyone any less.

Queerplatonic relationships are also a thing you may have heard of that sounds sort of like what you and your friend are touching on. Might be worth looking into!

I hope this was somewhat helpful for you, and I hope all conversations you have go smoothly <3

#queerplatonic #polyam asks #advice #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous #lgbtq #poly #polycule

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aroapl · 11 months

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Hi! I have heard of aplatonic people before and i used to be very involved in the aro and ace community (i used to identify as ace but i have realized that that label doesnt fit me). I'm just curious: what is being loveless or lovequeer like? I havent even heard the later term before, and i would like to hear about your experience. Im sorry if this is intrusive, you dont have to answer, im just curious about peoples life experience who have it different from me.

It’s not intrusive at all, no worries! I’m more than happy to talk about my experiences, especially since seeing other people talk about theirs is what led me to figuring myself out in the first place.

Loveless as our community uses it can mean a lot of different things; the meanings that I mainly identify with are straight up not feeling love and rejecting the ideas that love is required, always good/pure, and that it’s the greatest good or most meaningful thing in life. I genuinely just don’t feel anything that I would consider love. When people describe what love feels like or how they feel about people they love, it sounds so fantastical and made up to me. I’ve never felt anything like that and can’t even begin to imagine feeling that. I generally just don’t have very strong feelings like that, sort of in general but especially towards people. I care about the people I’m close with and enjoy having them in my life, but my feelings towards them are just so mild and loose compared to what a majority of people seem to feel. Like, if my closest friend of several years suddenly told me tomorrow that she was moving far away and was never going to see me or contact me again, I would be pretty unbothered. I’d wish them well and go on with business as usual, and I’d be just as content as I was before. And because of all that, I really disagree with a lot of mainstream ideas about love. It’s hard to believe or agree that love is the most important thing in everyone’s lives or that life is meaningless without love when it’s not something you feel.

Lovequeer is a label I identify with a lot more loosely/casually. I do consider myself lovequeer, but it’s not something I feel strongly about. Since you haven’t heard of it, being lovequeer is about rejecting the idea of love as it applies to romance, redefining what love means to you, and centering forms of love that are less talked about and respected. I consider myself lovequeer because despite not feeling love, I do still use the word love and enjoy love as a concept. For me, it’s about using the word love in whatever ways I want and finding my own meaning in the idea of love outside of society’s expectations of it. As I said in a different post, "loveless as in I don’t feel anything like what most people consider to be love and reject the idea that love is inherently good/what makes us good, and lovequeer as in I will use the word love however I damn well please and redefine what love means for me."

#loveless #loveless aro #lovequeer #asks #bo posting

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safety-pin-punk · 6 months

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I have a bunch of clothes that used to belong to my brother. They're all hand me downs (fantastic news) but they have a bunch of branding and logos and stuff (less fantastic). Some of it is easier to cover up with smaller logos, but others have really big logos on them or have other identifying features (like the three stripes along the legs of adidas sweatpants) and im not sure how to cover it effectively. I just worry that somebody is going to think I'm a poser for wearing it even though none of it was my choice and I haven't given a single penny to those companies because none of the clothes are new. Any advice?

I have gotten so many asks recently from people worried about being labeled a poser. And I think I'm going to make a big separate post one day just talking about this mindset and what to do about it. But the long story short is that you simply need not care what others think.

But to your question anon, if you do want to cover it effectively or even just make them blend with punk aesthetics, my advice would be to diy them. Cover with patches, add embroidery, use them for fabric for a completely different project. Instead of hiding obvious branding, try to find ways to show it off but with an obvious note of hating the companies. Like adding a BUNCH of anti nazi shit to adidas clothing. Instead of trying to hide it, make it a statement piece that will spark conversations about the history/problems with company xyz.

But also. Dont feel like you have to. YOU know that you are adhering to punk values simply by wearing hand me downs. Not gonna lie, I wear all kinds of hand me down/thrifted shit that is not inherently punk. One of my favorite combos is my 'land of the free home of the brave' shirt with literally anything that is anti-gov. It confuses people. It sparks conversations. Its thrifted. Its anti fast fashion. Its about not giving a shit what someone is going to say and doing it anyway. Because you know its good. If someone is gonna give you trouble for it, then they dont seem like the type of person you should waste your energy worrying about anyways.

#anon Im sorry this post got kinda overrun with the whole 'stop caring about being a poser' thing. Just had to get that out before I forgot #mail tag

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sygol · 3 months

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If one of my exes is convinced I was trying to abuse them, and that a lot of my actions were out of malice and I was trying to corner them into doing worse things. But from my point of view I had genuinely really good intentions and was mostly just confused and just trying to ask for what I wanted and needed in a relationship, and was upset when the things they promised me never happened (I felt I was asking for very reasonable things from them too). I can't say I was perfect, or that my conflict resolution skills are what I wish they were. I overreacted a lot and struggled to bring things up in a timely or effective manner. And I'm heartbroken still that I hurt someone I cared about without realizing it. But does the fact that they felt abused mean more than my efforts to have made things good for them and myself? I hate having "abuser" be something I feel I am now. And I do my absolute best to never let it happen again. But I still can't feel it was unfair to be labeled it in the first place. And I also feel as though I'll take responsibility for how I acted, but the label feels as though they won't take responsibility for how they acted. It felt so bad-faith reading of my actions and like my hurt from their actions always got turned around on me. Like I'd struggle to talk to people in public, and they'd read it as me trying to ostricise them from their friends and refusing to make efforts to meet other people? That just doesn't feel fair? I'm just awkward and didn't get along with those people but I really wanted to? Regardless I'm mostly sad to have made someone feel like they were being taken advantage of. I really cared abt them and still do but idk how I got to this position.

based on what youve told me here, i do not think you are an "abuser", or even that you "abused" them, you are not defined by the labels others place upon you, this is merely their perception; not some sort of truth.

it seems like your ex was not ready/able/willing to effectively communicate and foster a healthy relationship with you, and it seems like they let you down with empty promises, i cant exactly know this based on limited information, but speculating: your ex is probably traumatized and wrongfully projecting their fears/insecurities onto your behavior. i think they either lack fundamental understanding of who you are as a person OR is taking advantage of what they know about you to make you feel bad, the root of this is they probably dont know how to realize or address their own issues, so they are lashing out, deciding it is the fault of others.

usually when we are talking about relationships its not so much about "whos fault is it more" and moreso "are you able to share a connection" which the answer at this place & point in time seems to be: no.

i think that clearly it was not your intention to affect them like this, and if anything seems to be their own blindness rather than your actual behavior. i would advise absolving yourself of this guilt, please move on from this and learn from it to try to better connect with others who are more willing to bridge the gap with you

#asks

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