#i cried real tears while making this so i’m really hoping you like it—i’m certain it’s tolerable because it’s selm so :3 a win in my book! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

svtskneecaps · 1 year

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soulmate! dk

hiya. my new years resolution was “get this shit the fuck out of my drafts” so while i’m only SLIGHTLY more enthused by this fic now i was than when i wrote it, i’m publishing it. if people like it i’ll call it part of the main soulmate saga but otherwise i’m just going to call it a standalone like when i posted “see you when i fall asleep”

reader x dk ; fluff ; words : 1.4k

synopsis: you go to a concert as the emotional equivalent of a cat walking on the keyboard. this has consequences.

soulmark: the colors you see correspond to your soulmate’s emotions.

Seungkwan || The8/Minghao || Hoshi/Soonyoung || Junhui || Jeonghan || Joshua || Mingyu || Vernon || S.coups/Seungcheol || Wonwoo || Woozi/Jihoon || DK/Seokmin || main masterlist

you were one of the lucky few that knew you had a soulmate before you turned that magical age of ten

usually that’s when everybody would get their soulmark but it didn’t take long for your parents to realize that your apparent colorblindness could only be explained by a soulmark

or. well. you could just be chronically colorblind and genetically see in grayscale, but that theory went out the window when you turned ten, and the Colors started appearing

seemingly at random, certain colors would be highlighted in your vision. maybe pink and yellow, maybe red and blue, maybe green and purple

you had to carry a color sheet with you for years before you could correctly name the colors you were seeing

eventually you concluded that it had to be the famed emotion color mark, which was exciting as supposedly it was fairly rare

it was also deeply upsetting because it was rare enough that nobody knew how it manifested exactly

see, apparently when you got physically closer to your soulmate, the colors would get more vibrant and your emotions would be amplified

but also, reportedly, if you got physically further from your soulmate, the colors would get more vibrant and your emotions would be amplified

FUCKING PICK ONE, HELLO??

and you weren’t sure what emotions the colors corresponded to either

some colors had common correlations (like, yellow and gold were usually happy colors, blue was sad, etc.) but it wasn’t guaranteed that those colors corresponded to those emotions for YOUR particular soulmark. it could theoretically be different

and you didn’t know your soulmate so it wasn’t like you could call them up and ask what emotion was making you see red

anyway, the lack of any real definitive knowledge of the mark meant that when you noticed the swatches on your color sheet were getting distinctly brighter, you had no idea what the hell it meant

seokmin was on tour. they were flying around the world, and they were performing everywhere and meeting carats and seeing so many beautiful things, and the colors swimming in his eyes kept getting brighter and duller with the path of their travel

he was determinedly hopeful that his soulmate would be at the height of his emotions, even though nobody could really tell him for sure (not even joshua and his soulmate, the resident soulmark experts)

but it just felt right

you had tickets to the concert, as it so happened, and you were beyond excited

like, even without the heightened emotions you would have been bouncing off the walls. as it was you’d cried for three hours after you got the tickets and you kept bursting into tears every time you saw them, it was that bad

regardless, you were really hoping you could make it through the concert without having a complete emotional breakdown

the day of the concert dawns and your vision is vibrant in yellows and golds and pinks and you can’t sit still for a second

seokmin is the most hyper and the most nervous he’s ever been. he had to look up breathing exercises just to keep himself together

with how absolutely bananas his emotions were being and how bright the colors were, he was either a couple meters from you or he was on the exact opposite side of the planet, there wouldn’t be an in between

(he was a little scared of the answer, sending a few flecks of purple across your vision, but mostly excited)

you managed to keep your energy to a level that was acceptable during the concert (it wasn’t nearly as hard as you were expecting; the energy in the crowd was high)

the members seemed as enthusiastic as ever, maybe even more so, especially seokmin

it was contagious, how brightly he was smiling, and your heart thrummed in your chest seeing it, seeing him silhouetted in the stage lights

(seokmin wondered absently why there was suddenly so much pink)

but concerts have to end, like it or not, and eventually the members waved goodbye and vanished backstage, and you, well

you were not expecting the post concert depression to hit so hard

curse your hubris

so, it was extremely embarrassing to be sitting in the lobby, hiding your face and sobbing so hard you’d started to hiccup, but you’d managed to explain to security (between each gasping breath) that it was your soulmark messing with your emotions, and they understood the risk and were willing to let you sob it out in the lobby instead of out on the streets somewhere more dangerous, which was very nice of them

unfortunately your gratitude towards the venue security was amplified by your soulmark and sent you into yet another fit of tears

seokmin wasn’t faring all that much better, although the concert crash was a physical enough thing that he wasn’t sobbing as hard as you (the choreographies really take a lot out of a guy)

that didn’t mean he wasn’t feeling the height of the mood swings, and even through the post concert crash, his determination to find the epicenter of the emotional activity just grew (aided by the soulmark, of course)

and then their manager tells them that there’s a fan in the lobby sobbing their eyes out and attributing it to a soulmark that was heightening their emotions

and for a minute seokmin can’t breathe

you thought it was weird that the guy watching over you in your crying corner asked you if it was a color emotion mark, until he said he knew somebody with that mark. then it made sense

either he was looking into it to see if they were your soulmate or he was checking to see if they would be equally as emotionally destroyed as you were at that moment

(the thought of how you must look right now was hilarious enough that you were now laughing and crying at the same time, and lord but the emotions just kept soaring HIGHER)

and then the guard suggests you go backstage, and you trail him because you can’t really argue, it’s way better than being in the lobby where people are still leaving the concert hall and probably staring at you

you’re not expecting to be lead into a room that holds, of all people, lee fucking seokmin

YOU ARE A SOBBING MESS, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MEET LEE SEOKMIN LIKE THIS OH GOD

thankfully the thought of whatever bizarre first impression you’re giving him is funny enough that it takes over and you’re finally able to stop crying, even though you’re now doubled over laughing so hard your stomach hurts and DAMN THIS SUCKS

when you finally collect yourself enough to look up you notice him bouncing on his heels, adding a good few inches to his height at the peak

“I THINK WE’RE SOULMATES!!” he yells, because he’s so excited he literally can’t contain himself

you’re not forming a lot of coherent thoughts at the moment so the words that slip out of your mouth end up being “DUDE NO FUCKIN WAY THAT’S AWESOME” and you’re only vaguely aware that the entire backstage probably heard it, with how loud you’re yelling

and he’s looking at you and abruptly you notice that his hair is pink, it’s so brightly pink and you’d never been able to see his hair color before, not like this, but before you even get a chance to remark on it in a no doubt ridiculously embarrassing way, he throws himself forward and closes the distance between you

and then his arms are around you and the colors grow so bright and your heart swells so much you think you’ll burst with the love and the joy filling your chest

and then your emotions abruptly return to normal and you’re suddenly acutely aware that you’ve spent fifteen minutes sobbing in the lobby, you yelled a swear word at lee seokmin- FUCK, YOU’RE HUGGING LEE SEOKMIN

YOU’RE SOULMATES WITH LEE SEOKMIN???

you start crying again, but at least it’s more dignified this time. and he’s crying too, so. at least you’re not alone there

he sinks into your arms and you sink into his and he can’t help but think that you fit, that your arms sit around him perfectly, that you lock together like a pair of puzzle pieces and he never wants to let go

(he does, eventually, but he keeps your hand in his)

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garden-of-gay · 10 months

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You're On Your Own Kid, Part 2

Part 1

So....remember how I said you guys would get comfort, well…..you do, y’all just get more hurt first. I’m sorry, I promise it is coming but a lot of things need to happen first so for now we get sad Steve.

TW: Some use of homophobic slurs (it’s only once but I figure I still let y’all know)

TW: Implied child abuse (because you know, Steve’s parents suck)

Great Escape

It took quite a while for Steve to calm down and when he did, that is when the embarrassment came flooding in.

“Eds I’m so sorry, I-” Steve was abruptly cut off by Eddie’s voice.

“Sweetheart, why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He was using a tone that made Steve want to cry all over again, it was so soft and caring, in a way that he didn’t know how to process.

“I– I, I’m not supposed to cry so…so I’m sorry” Steve said softly, but the moment it left his mouth he felt stupid.

“Stevie, who told you that you can’t cry” Eddie was baffled at how such a seemingly strong boy could help others when they stumbled but not offer himself the same courtesy. He also knew that the ones who had told him this had been his parents but still wanted to give Steve the chance to tell him on his own terms.

“Darling, please, who told you this?” He said it one again, so kindly that Steve couldn’t understand why he was being so sweet to him.

“Why are you being so kind to me? Shouldn’t you be upset with me” Steve asked, fighting back tears once again.

“Babydoll, why would I not be? You deserve all the kindness in the world from me, darling” Eddie waited a moment listening before Steve began to softly speak and with a sadness in his voice that only sent another wave of sadness through Eddie’s already broken heart.

“Well its just, my parents especially my dad said he can’t deal with criers and no son of his was going to be a sissy, faggot”

Steve could remember the way his father would yell at him for the tears that would fall down his face as a child; could still envision the rage that would plague his face. Overtime, he learned to stifle his tears until he was alone, to avoid the wrath of his fathers words and fist. Even now knowing his parents weren’t home, because they never were, he would still hide in his closet to cry.

Eddie began to speak breaking Steve from his thoughts

“I– I’m so sorry Stevie, you never deserved that, still don’t deserve that” He said with his voice breaking.

“It’s okay, Eds I’m okay, promise” Steve said to not only Eddie but also to himself hoping that if he said it aloud he could make it true”

Eddie knew it was a lie but decided not to push.

“Hey Eds, I'm tired, I'm going to turn in for the night”

“Yeah.... okay"

"hey, you know I see a great escape for you, I see you running away from the pain they caused you and never looking back. If anyone could do it it’s you” Steve loved the way Eddie had said it, it made it feel so real, that maybe he really could.

“Thanks, so long Daisy May” Steve joked

“Daisy May!? Who the hell is Daisy May?” Eddie asked incredulously

Steve chuckled before answering

“She’s a character that my grandma loved, she’s from a comic I think, I don’t know.”

Although Steve was tired, he proceeded to speak with Eddie for another hour before finally falling asleep, causing Eddie to eventually hang up.

A couple days later he found himself talking to Robin about his conversation, leaving out the part where he cried over the phone; even though he knew that Robin wouldn’t judge him.

“And then we talked for like 4 hours, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun talking to someone Rob! He’s just so ... .He is just so wonderful.” He said with a certain warmth inside

“ Aughhh, just ask him out already, Dingus!! He likes you, and listen I love you but if I have to go another shift hearing you wax poetry about Eddie I might just have to hit you” Robin huffed before Steve said something that left her holding back laughter.

“Okay, listen I thought about but then I found a flower and did the stupid petal picking things that people do and like I got he loves me not which destroyed the thought on the spot”

“Steve, you’re going to trust a flower over your PLATONIC SOULMATE!!! I can’t believe this” she chuckled. They fought for a bit before getting back to work and finishing their shift off.

Steve had gotten home and had two hours to kill before he had to pick up Dustin and then go to Eddie’s for their movie night. He couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation he had last night with the older boy and found himself sitting in his room writing. Steve liked to write, he knew he wasn’t the best at it and had only shown Robin any of his writing but he liked to do it nonetheless. He took out his notebook and began to write, he did something he hadn’t done in a while, he began to write a song. He wasn’t as good as Eddie when it came to music but soon enough two hours had passed and he had made a pretty decent song and would have worked on it more if he had not seen the time and realized he needed to pick up Dustin.

"OH SHIT"

On the drive over he felt the bloom within him that always came from writing and was thinking about whether he should write in his room more often.

He arrived at Dustin’s 15 minutes later to find him already outside.

“Hey Dusty-” Steve began, as Dustin climbed into his front seat he began to rant

“You’re 5 minutes late Steve and now I’m going to be late. Dude, what could you have been doing that made you late!”

“Listen here, shithead, I was busy and lost track of time okay!? Be grateful that I’m even driving your ass” Steve retorted

“Thank you” Dustin grumbled

“Good, now put your seatbelt on”

“Okay mom” Dustin mumbled under his breath

“What was that? Steve asked

“Hmm nothing” Dustin replied refusing to look at Steve

“That’s what I thought” He said before putting the car in drive and beginning the short drive to the Wheeler’s house

After dropping Dustin off and saying hello to all the other brats, Steve found himself on his way to Eddie’s singing along to the songs on the radio. 5 minutes later he parked his Beemer in front of the Munsons government appointed trailer. It was bigger than their previous trailer however it was still much the same. He knocked on the door and heard Eddie moving around inside.

“Hey there Steve, glad you could make it”

“I know, sorry I’m late, I picked up Dustin a little late and then the brats proceeded to greet and mess with me before letting me leave”

“Ehh, don’t worry about it, I’m just teasing you, come in”

Eddie led him into the trailer and got comfortable on the couch before Steve followed suit. He made sure to put a respectable distance between himself and Eddie not wanting to sit too close to him and be weird.

“So... what are we watching?” Steve asked, Eddie chuckled

“Oh just you wait and see big boy”

He then pressed play on the movie and soon rolled the title screen that read Nightmare on Elm Street

“Come on Eds, HORROR!!” Steve exclaimed

“What's wrong Stevie you get scared easily?” He said teasingly

“No, I’ve just seen and experience enough horror in my life to want to watch movies about it”

“Fair point, but that's what fun, it’s nothing like the real horrors we have seen. Plus if you do get scared you can just hold my hand” Eddie teased.

Steve hoped that he couldn’t see the blush appearing across his face in the dark of the trailer.

“You wish Munson” Steve replied, teasingly

They watched the beginning portion of the movie, chatting here and there before Eddie had gotten up and went to the fridge. He called out to Steve.

“Do you want a beer, Steve?”

“Sure I’ll take one” Steve hoped that the alcohol would take the edge off and allow him to relax around Eddie because he felt like he wanted to explode everytime Eddie leaned into his space to say something.

Eddie returned a moment later and handed a beer to Steve

“Thanks man”

“No problem”

Steve had noticed that when Eddie had sat back down he sat closer to Steve causing their thighs to touch, whether Eddie noticed or not Steve wasn’t going to complain.

Eventually Steve found himself completely pressed to Eddie’s side, enjoying the warmth the the other brought; he hadn’t noticed Eddie’s hand on his shoulder until he began to trace hypnotizing patterns with his thumb. He quickly found himself unable to focus on the movie and only the way Eddie’s thumb would dip ever so slightly under the collar of his shirt grazing the skin underneath. The movie came to a close and Steve would not be able to recall the entire latter half of the movie.

“So, what did you think?” Eddie asked

“Hmm? Oh it was good, kind freaky, reminds me a little bit to much of something we fought though” He replied

Eddie sighed “Well, it is not for everyone, especially those who have fought interdimensional monster several times”

Steve chuckled “I guess so?”

“Do you wanna hang for a bit longer?” Eddie asked sheepishly

Steve took a moment to silently celebrate in his mind before replying

“Yeah, that sounds nice”

They went to Eddie’s room and were goofing off, talking, and overall being stupid. Steve particularly laughed when he found out that Eddie used to play concerts in parking lots before they ever booked an actual gig.

“No, no you don’t understand, haha, we seriously used to do that and one time Hopper busted us setting up and we all had to haul ass back to the van and lug all of our equipment back as fast as we could” Eddie chuckled

Steve loved the sound of Eddie’s laugh; it was like he lit up everything around him with his laughter making the world glow bright. Steve let it fill his mind and he decided to catalog that amongst the summer sprinkler splashed and warm Christmas fireplace ashes he told Eddie about.

“And, haha, and he pulled up to the van and asked us what we were doing at 10 o’clock at night on a Thursday and the only thing Gareth could think of was to shout that we were camping…in the van. Hopper just told us to scram and that he would let us off with a warning. It was the only time we have been saved by Gareth’s absurd answers under pressure” He recalled, laughing throughout the story causing Steve to laugh with him.

They joked for a bit before Steve spoke up

“Hey, Ed’s, thanks for last night I really needed it”

“I already told you it's no problem.” He replied

“I- I know but it still means a lot to me” It was gentle and sincere and the emotion seeped into his voice and for once he allowed it; Eddie gave him the chance to let his guard down.

“Anytime, Anytime” He lightly chuckled with a small smile.

“Did you know that once my parents had ordered me a taxi to a party they were at because they forgot to bring me along when they left” Steve laughed but he could hear the sadness in his voice

“Yeah, yeah, they remembered I existed and thought they needed to show me off so they sent a car to get me. I was I think 7, but hey I guess they thought that a 7 year old was old enough to get into a strangers car by themselves” He released a wet laugh and felt the tears beginning to flow.

“Hell, once I got there. I searched the party, full of better parents than mine, because HEY at least they remembered their kids right!?” The tears were coming down hard, blurring his vision. It was at this point he felt a strong embrace as Eddie pulled him into his chest and held him.

“They wanted to show me off and once another parent asked what I wanted to be I said a musician, my dad laughed it off and said that all kids wanted to be something crazy like that and it wasn’t rare.” He hiccupped and choked through sobs.

“That was the first time my parents had left me alone to go on a trip. My father told me you're on your own kid, don't do something stupid, we will be back in a week, see you then. The funny thing is they weren't back in a week because they had called to let me know they had other stuff to take care of and that they would send money. I felt so alone, I was so alone just as I always have been.”

Even now he still felt that horrible pang in his chest and remembers the pain he felt watching his mom close the door only telling him “goodbye Steven” before she too left him. He had long decided against stopping his tears. He was with Eddie, he was safe, he could cry, he didn’t need to hide not with him; not anymore.

Eddie had stayed silent while Steve talked, just holding him and gently stroking his hair. Steve had fallen silent after a while and was currently just heaving heavy sobs in Eddie’s lap while Eddie whispered to him.

“I know darling, I know, you didn’t deserve that. I won’t let them ever do that to you again, I promise. I got you, I got you. Let it out doll”

Eddie found that even with his red splotchy tear streaked face, Steve was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and would do anything for him.

After a while Steve had relaxed a bit and spoke up

“You know I gave my blood, sweat and tears for this; this life that they wanted me to have and yet they aren’t even here to see what I gave up for them. What I sacrificed to try and be a person they could be proud of. I gave everything for them and they could care less about it.”

Eddie had kept most of his thoughts to himself but could not help saying something.

“I’m proud of you Stevie, I’m proud of the person you are. You are kind and protective, and caring, and, and so loving to everyone. You will put yourself in harm's way if it means someone else is safe. You care so much about the kids and will watch and protect them no matter how annoying they may get. You are one of the most wonderful people I have ever met and my world is better now that I know you, the real you……Steve middle name Harrington, I am so proud of you because you try, no matter what. You’re parents were never deserving of you and the missed out on the greatest opportunity of their life to know you and I feel sorry for them because they are missing out on a pretty great thing”

Tears welled in Steve's eyes and he clung to Eddie as violent sobs rocked his body. He had waited so long to hear those words and hearing it from someone he loved, was in love with. It rocked him in a way he hadn’t seen coming. As he cried he felt Eddie hug him tighter. He felt safe, loved….. tired. So he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift knowing that Eddie would be there to catch him and ground him again.

Part 3

Okay, so I did a mini deep dive into Daisy May and learned she was a character from the Lil’ Abner comic series from the 40’s and 50’s and was hopelessly in love with Lil’ Abner. Listen if that isn’t Eddie I don’t know what is. What’s the point of this? idk however, I found it interesting. Also so much of Eddie's speech is something I wish someone had told me and I legit had to stop writing because it had gotten to me. So much of how I write Steve and Eddie's dynamic is based on personal experience and things I wish I could have so I'm sorry if this is sad as hell. I'm using this as a way of putting positivity into the world not only for myself but for others. Anyways my little rant is over,there is one more part left where we get some good comfort and tender love for my boys.

Tag List:

@swimmingbirdrunningrock

@barking-at-the-m00n

@acasualcrossfade

#steddie #platonic stobin #tw: implied child abuse #tw: homophobia #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #hurt/comfort #steve has bad parents #stranger things #bi steve harrington #gay eddie munson #Taylor Swift Steddie #fanfic #my fic #gardenwrites

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blessedarethebinarybreakers · 3 years

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id: the start of a twitter thread by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @TheRaDR from Sept 15 2021 reading,

Today's a good day to talk about prayer, no? I know it's a thing that feels hard and uncomfortable to lots of folks, so let's spend some time unpacking some of what it can be. 1/x thread.

For starters, let me make this clear: I don't believe in vending machine theology. Like, there is no version of any understanding of the divine that I have that involves me praying for a pony and getting a pony. Or a fast car or that gig that I want or whatever. Courage, patience, compassion? That's different, we'll get there. "But rabbi, the traditional Jewish liturgy includes prayers for livelihood, for healing, for all sorts of things! We ask for stuff!" Yes, and the traditional Jewish liturgy is written in the first person plural. Not I. We. So again, patience, we'll get there. / end id]

The thread continues,

But first, I want to say a few things about the act of prayer. The Book of Samuel talks about a woman named Hannah who's stuck in a dark place; she finally breaks, starts crying, and then, the book tells us, she "increased her prayers before God…. Hannah spoke on her heart." She's considered the paragon of prayer in Judaism; she didn't recite formal liturgy. She teaches us, though, that prayer is about speaking on your heart. It's a means to express something of our deepest selves, and not only naming it, but offering it up to the great beyond.

Whether or not you think of yourself as someone who believes in whatever might be called God, I'd like to suggest that there is power to this. I don't think you need to know to whom or what you're praying in order to pray.

Sometimes, you can just... pray. And see how it feels. If meditation can get us centered in the present moment, prayer can engage that presence, draw from or offer it up, or do both at the same time. Meditation is the work of the breath, of the stillness of the mind.

Prayer is, as the Jewish tradition puts it, "work of the heart." This work of the heart often emerges from the hardest spaces. Sometimes it comes out of that moment when you're at the edge of your ability to cope, or grief, despair, fear, anger, disassociated numbness, or overwhelm. Or from a bunch of those things, all at once.

Perhaps our prayers are open expressions of resentment, desperation, hope, gratitude, wonder, frustration, questions, or many of the other things a person might feel when we're up to the ears in it. Perhaps something else. I don't know.

I can tell you that if you spend all of Yom Kippur yelling at God until you get to the place where the tears are, or yelling until you find a new truth that you hadn’t uncovered, that will be a day well spent.

Yes, you can yell at God, you can be angry at God, you can yell at I-don't-know-if-there's-God-or-what-but-I'm-gonna-yell. The God in which I believe can take it.

Jews, anyway, have a long, proud tradition of yelling at God. It's... kind of how we roll.

But real prayer doesn’t push aside hard feelings. Nor will it magically fix everything. It can help us to name what's happening, & to pour it out to the great transcendent beyond — to turn your isolated feeling into something that connects you, that binds you to something bigger.

It is this outward offering that turns "feeling feelings" into prayer: we don't just experience them, we offer them up, to someone, something. We say, “here, can you hold on to at least a tiny piece of this anger, frustration and despair for just a second?” We connect our heart to the great infinite everythingness, the gushing, pulsing stream of life within and around us. We reach out.

It's about tuning into that which interlinks us all, that which is present within and between us. Try lifting up the things in the deepest places of your heart and try to release them like you're letting the wind take a balloon. You don't have to even know whether anyone's taking them or what, just try to pull the words up and out.

So then, to get back to the words in the prayerbook. First of all, permission:

If you're in services and what's happening with the prayerbook and where you are with things isn't where your head is at, let me be hopefully not the first person to give you permission to just be where you are, tune out of the service and tune in to your heart, tune in to whatever's happening there, do that. If you do some real work there, you've done good.

The point is not to recite every word of the Yom Kippur liturgy while your heart cries for attention. No. And as for crying in services? Feel free to ask anyone from any of the shuls I've attended regularly since the late 90's (aka when I got Jewy) if I have ever been seen sobbing hysterically during prayer services. Uh. Yes, hi, here is your permission slip to cry if you need to.

Sometimes in the process of prayer you move stuff around and find true things and clear out some things and the true things come out through tears. That's OK. Sometimes life is so full and the only time you have time to be a certain kind of present is during prayer and so it turns out that's when you cry. That's OK.

So, then, back to the words in the prayerbook. Whether you're more comfortable in the Hebrew (and occasionally Aramaic) or English, or a bit of both —permission slip to pray from whichever side works best for you — the prayerbook is meant to be your guide through a process. The liturgy has been crafted very intentionally. It's the trail for your hike. It's meant to take you on a series of risings & fallings, openings & closings, peaks & valleys. The blessings before & after the S'hma, before & after the Amidah, where (on YK) the viduis are, etc. We talk about keva (fixed form) and kavvanah (intention) as the heart of Jewish prayer. Taking the intention, the heart stuff I've been talking about and binding it to the words in the prayerbook, and offering it up. It takes practice, sure, but if you're in services a bunch tonight and tomorrow, why not practice?

Find some of the words that catch you in particular and really...pray them? See what it feels like to find some words that you wouldn't think to just write yourself and pray those?

And then we get around to the genius of Jewish prayer. The ways it shapes you, like water gently shaping a rock. The number of times I have, in prayer, had to find the ways and meanings around words I wouldn't have, in my tiny, finite, ego-driven self, thought to write. The ways that we — not I, we — has worked itself into me. It's not about my own love or sorrow. My own fate or concern. The hike has taken me to vistas more profound and beautiful than I possibly could have imagined on my own.

And it's forced me to tap into pain and suffering greater than I wanted to, because that's part of the work, too That's OK. We. Us. In any case, I want to bless you with the opportunity to do some of the work of the heart — tonight, tomorrow, and any time after that.

In services, or just walking down the street, when you're with a cranky child, at any moment when you need to offer something up. Formal prayer — yes. And spontaneous prayer is valid, too. It was for Hannah, it is for you, too.

Offer something up. PS: some theological Qs can be addressed in this piece, though more Bible-focused. Viz prayer, some Jewish philosophers talk about prayer impacting the person praying, some talk about prayer impacting the divine, some a combination, you don’t have to pick.

#judaism #yom kippur #prayer #prayer tag #danya ruttenberg #other faiths tag #important #twitter #Rabbi Ruttenberg wrote this for Yom Kippur in particular and from her Jewish lens #and those are the primary lenses to read it through BUT it can be read wider too.#like she says -- anyone can do this form of prayer. even those who don't know who or what exactly they're praying to #Christians for instance can learn SO much from this -- the emphasis on communal prayer. on not treating god like a vending machine #long post

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letarasstuff · 3 years

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Unbreakable Bond

(A/N): This is based on this post and this tiktok

Summary: A big age gap between Aaron's children doesn't have to mean that they are unable to form a strong bond

Warnings: Mentions of Haley's death and failed relationships

Wordcount: 1.8k

✨Masterlist✨

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His life took turns Aaron never expected. It’s not the “Oh, mh, well that was unexpected”-type of turns, I talk about the “God played Cards Against Humanity with angels and decided to make it happen for someone”-type. But looking back he would not want to change a thing.

After Haley and Beth he was convinced that God, the Universe, something out there shared the opinion that romantic love isn’t the right thing for him and Aaron accepted that fact. Even more when he and Jack went into witness protection. I mean, when you are worried about the life of your family being in danger because of a stalker, you don’t think about the beautiful neighbor, who lives next door, right? Right?

Well, without going into too much detail, Hotch did think about her and she about him and vice versa. Everything went good until Aaron received the message that the team found the stalker and that it was safe to come back. He decided to come clean to his girlfriend. They talked about the possibility of moving back to Quantico.

In the end they decided in favor of the move, the final argument was the surprising announcement of her being pregnant. Hotch wants to raise their youngest where his and Jack’s roots are located. But he decides against taking a position at the BAU, instead taking a desk job in order to be more at home. He also has the opportunity to work from home after little (Y/N) was born and continues to do so until she is old enough to go to Kindergarten. Even then he takes two days the week where he stays home. Aaron learned from his decisions and mistakes he made in the past and wants to live up to them and be a better father and husband than before.

And Hotch keeps it to this day, six years later. It’s (Y/N)’s first day of school, while Jack just graduated high school and goes off to college in a few weeks. Even though they have an age gap from twelve and a half years, their parents are sure there are no other siblings with such a strong bond.

Ever since his baby sister’s birth Jack is her biggest supporter, protector and friend. Her first word was his name, though it was more of a “ACK!��, but that’s the best nickname he ever got. As soon as (Y/N) was old enough to comprehend the concept of movies, he introduced her to Star Wars. Since then lightsaber wars out of cardboard pipes are not uncommon. Last Halloween they even dressed up as Chewbakka and Han Solo. You get three guesses on who was who.

“JACK!” (Y/N) runs into her big brother’s room with an excited expression on her face. “Daddy promised to buy me a real lightsaber after I read ten books! With lights and sounds and all! Isn’t that cool?” Jack smiles. Aaron did a similar thing with him. For a certain amount of books he got a reward they discussed beforehand. This way he felt motivated to read and improved writing and reading skills.

“This is awesome. I think that means we have to go book shopping together, what do you think?” (Y/N) is not only the cool kid that has an older brother, she is also the cool kid, whose older brother has a drivers license, a car and a part time job. She nods with big eyes, speechless, because the offer sounds like heaven to her. Getting books and one on one time with Jack after he was really busy with school for weeks? This has to be heaven.

“Ok, then you put your outside clothes on and I’ll tell Dad about our plan.” At that the little girl rushes to her room, not wanting to waste any more time. Jack makes his way down to the kitchen, where Aaron wipes the table from lunch down.

“Dad, I take (Y/N) to this bookstore in DC and we’ll probably go eat ice cream after that. Is that alright?” Hotch looks up at his son. It still feels like yesterday as he told Haley that Gideon is a big no as a baby name. Now he is all grown up and just a few weeks away from the next big chapter in his life.

“Of course, just let me get my wall-” Jack cuts him off. “No need, I want to use this as a kind of goodbye thing. At least until Thanksgiving.” Aaron knows what he means. It’s his last day before he goes off to college and just a couple more until the first classes begin. The family still hasn’t told their youngest exactly what’s going on. Else she would refuse to go to school and go on with her day, insisting on using all the time they have until Jack drives off.

Two hours later the siblings leave the bookstore, both of them having a bag in their hands. Of course Jack's heavier, but both he and the cashier assured (Y/N) that they lift the same amount of weight.

“Uncle Spence will be excited when I tell him that I read Harry Potter, he told me so many good things about it”, the girl gushes. Jack nods, indicating that he is listening. Of course they also picked books that are not that advanced. Still, no sister of his shall grow up without knowing the beauty of the wizarding world. Also, secretly he is hoping for her to turn out as nerdy as he is so they get more things to talk about. His next step is superheroes, especially the Marvel ones.

They converse until they get to an ice cream parlor and order both their usuals. “Do you think you are ready for me to tell you something important?” The older one asks after they sit down at a table. (Y/N) nods, confusion taking over her face.

“Uhm, you know how I graduated from high school? I’m done with school, but I want to get a degree, but for that I have to go to college. It’s pretty far away so I can’t come home for a few months. But I’m back home when Thanksgiving is and also for Christmas.” It doesn’t matter what Jack says, a sad frown has formed on the little one’s face. “Oh. And after Christmas, will you leave again?” He nods and explains when he is off from college and when not.

“We can always skype and write letters. How does that sound? And when you get your first phone, we can even text.” That (Y/N) lights up a bit. For her first year of school she got a stationary set and is eager to use it to this day.

“I’m going to miss you so much”, she says hugging her big brother. Jack pats her back. “I’ll miss you, too.”

The goodbye the next day is a heartfelt matter. Everybody cries, especially (Y/N). She can’t fathom a scenario where her brother isn’t there for her all the time.

The following weeks are also hard for the family. The youngest refuses to sleep alone for the first three days after Jack’s leave. She is more closed off and mainly just does her school work or reads the books he bought for her. By the time Thanksgiving is only away for another two weeks, (Y/N) has read through all of them at least two times.

Her father already ordered the lightsaber he promised her. Unfortunately shipping takes several months, so the little girl still has to wait patiently for her reward to arrive. In the meantime she works on getting the next and she is already pretty close to the comic book collection she wants.

“Sweetheart, can you set the table, please? Your Mom will be here soon from grocery shopping and she will need help getting them from the car into the house”, Hotch calls for his daughter while stirring in a pot.

The little girl nods, putting her stationary set and pens aside to do as her father asked. She is in the middle of answering her brother’s last letter, telling him that she is now the one that usually has to read aloud for the class because of her advanced skill for a first grader.

Just as she sets the last piece of silverware down the doorbell rings. “Sweetie, can you please open it? This should be your mother.” Happily (Y/N) runs up and turns the door knob. Over the last few months she hit a small growing spurt and is finally tall enough to reach it without standing on her tippy toes.

“Mo-” She nearly chokes on her own saliva. The one at the door is definitely not her mother. “JACK!” (Y/N) runs up to him and jumps onto his leg. “Hey Princess. I thought now that you read your books, we need to hold the most amazing lightsaber fight in history.” With a mischievous smile he pulls two from his back, giving one to his baby sister.

It is the most epic fight in history between an elementary schooler and a college boy. They can only be stopped by their parents announcing that it is a tie between both of them and that they have to sit down, else the food gets cold.

The following weeks mostly consist of (Y/N)’s joyous laughs and cuddling with her big brother. She even insists on him sleeping with her in her much smaller bed. On his last night before going back to college, the little girl turns to him in the middle of watching her favorite movie in the living room.

“Do you promise not to forget me when you are away? Because I alway think about you and tell my friends so much about you. I told them you are a hero, my hero, just like Daddy. They wanna meet you because of that.” Jack has to hold back tears at her statement.

“I also think of you so much. All of my friends at college are pretty jealous of me having such a sweet baby sister. Maybe one time you can visit me and I can introduce you to them.” The thought of that makes (Y/N) smile and is a little consolation to the thought of her brother leaving again.

Aaron watches the interaction going down, happy to see the strong bond between his children, despite their age gap. This is nothing like he and Sean were and that is a relief for him and the worries he had in the beginning. It is a sign that he did do some things right as a father.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

#aaron hotch x child!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x child!reader #jack hotchner #jack hotchner x sister!reader #jack hotchner x reader #x daughter!reader #x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotch #x child!reader

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clouds-rambles · 3 years

Note

hello!~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)

thank u sm! :))

BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3

Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!

Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader

Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-

“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it

“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear

“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms

He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one.

Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart

How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?

Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body

Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest

“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms

“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death

Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you

The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond

The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day

A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off.

Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain

Diluc

No, not like this

You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different

Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply

“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends

“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own

“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood

“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life

Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind

A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body

She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again

Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.

Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience

Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable

Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned

Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones

Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad

He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon

Childe

You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body

“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return

“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare

But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping

“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest

“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.

You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you

Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep

Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer

Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms

The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit

Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes

Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him

If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one

They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie

Venti

He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.

He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more

Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-

He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking

A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost

Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard

He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop.

Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.

Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.

Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality

Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell

News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning

Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern

It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.

Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you

Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-

Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there

He doesn’t want to lose again

It’s happened too much

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heyiwrotesomethings · 3 years

Text

Calling Out For Her

Cassandra Dimitrescu x She/Her Reader

A/N: Cassandra is my favorite I just love that girl. I thought it was real neat that Lady D could just call out for her and she’d appear so that inspired this. Some typical resident evil violence and language in here and Cassandra isn’t exactly nice at first, but she figures out how to be personable...kinda. Thanks for reading! Word Count: 6,158

(Y/n) was exceptionally careful. If tasked to understand what had allowed her to survive in the castle for so long, she would say it was because she was so careful, meticulous, with her work. All she had to do was follow a certain set of rules.

A polite tone brimming with reverence, ‘Yes Lady Dimitrescu’ or, ‘yes ladies Bela, Cassandra and Daniela’. Never a no, even if warranted, unless you want your eyes level with your toes and cool air meeting your stump of a neck. Always serve with a curtsy, never meet their eyes, never ask questions, keep your head down and clean, clean, clean like your life depends on it because like with everything else, it does.

The bottom line was that (Y/n) knew how to survive in the castle of Dimitrescu. It took tact, forward thinking, and a bit of luck. But today, after a very respectable nine months of service, (Y/n)’s luck had apparently run out. She had royally fucked up.

“Oh, fuck me—!“ (Y/n) hissed, followed by a sharp gasp as her grip slipped because of the dip of the chandelier.

She had no one to blame but herself. She had been assigned to clean the banisters and chandeliers of the foyer and had leaned out just a little too far with her duster. Thus, her scramble for purchase on the confounding light fixture to save her from cracking her skull on the marble floor below.

“H...help!” (Y/n) called, barely above her usual speaking tone. She dared not speak louder for fear of alerting any of the bloodthirsty daughters of her predicament. She could only hope one of her fellow maids was working nearby.

“No, nonono—“ the words left (Y/n)’s mouth faster than her lips could move. One of the metal weldings that held up the chandelier was creaking and becoming dangerously loose as time ticked by.

“Help!” (Y/n) called a little louder, the desperation bleeding into her tone as her fingers dug painfully into the decorative, jewel encrusted rim of the chandelier.

Yet still not a sound besides the creak of old metal giving way. Nine months of service to the Lady of the Castle and this was never how (Y/n) imagined she’d go. It wasn’t uncommon for some maids to take their life by their own hand, but (Y/n) wanted to keep fighting—!

“Ah!” (Y/n) cried sharply. The chandelier’s tether frayed a bit further, causing it to drop a few inches. She was fully panicking now, arms aching and chest heaving as she dangled. She made the mistake of looking at the cold, hard floor below and that only made her heart beat faster. She didn’t want to go out like this!

The chandelier fell another inch, stinging (Y/n)’s fingers. She was gripping so hard she was sure her fingers must have been bleeding. She needed someone, anyone to come and somehow in her panicked state, she thought of her Lady. If her Lady needed something done and done fast, all she had to do was call out her name and she would be there in an instant. Somehow in (Y/n)’s desperate mind, she thought that calling upon the most ruthless of the Dimitrescu Family was her best course of action.

“Cassandra!” (Y/n) yelled, closing her eyes tightly and fighting to maintain her precarious grip.

For a few seconds, there was just the creaking the chandelier and (Y/n) didn’t know whether to be relieved or devastated by the silence. Before she could resign herself to her fate, a faint buzzing could be heard below, growing in intensity until (Y/n) could see the swarm of blowflies collecting below her until they completely formed the middle Dimitrescu daughter. She looked up at (Y/n) with a sneer on her blood stained lips.

“Well, well, well. I must say that this is a first for me.” Cassandra hummed, a fist over her hip as she craned her head up, twisting this way and that to really get a good look. Yes, a maid hanging from a chandelier must have been a novelty to the monstrous woman indeed.

“Just how did you get into this predicament little mouse? Perhaps you are more of a monkey, hmm?” Cassandra giggled sadistically before idly licking the blood from her lips, smearing it around more than anything.

“I leaned too far over the banister while I was dusting.” (Y/n) explained through clenched teeth, trying to maintain her aching grip.

“Mmm, how clumsy of you.” Cassandra laughed again, moving her arms to rest across her chest, she propped her chin up in her gloved hand as she regarded (Y/n) with glee. “You know, I was going to skin you alive. You had called me away from cellar time after all, new arrivals are always the most fun to break. Not to mention that you, some lowly maid, think that I, a noblewoman of the House, am at your beck and call. Yes, I was going to kill you myself but now I’m curious,” Cassandra’s smirk widened to a full blown maniacal grin, “what will give out first? Your arms, or the chandelier?”

“Lady Cassandra, please!” (Y/n) wasn’t sure where she thought pleading would get her, but people will do all kinds of things they wouldn’t normally do under duress. Including begging a known sadistic killer to save them from certain death.

“Oh, she remembers her manners!” Cassandra mocked, “Do me a favor and just fall already. I fear I might be developing a crick in my neck.”

(Y/n) could feel the heat of incoming tears sting her eyes as she dangled several feet above her one woman audience. Well, no one could say she didn’t try. She started mumbling a little prayer for herself that turned into a yelp as the chandelier fell another half a foot, a much larger drop than the occasional two to three inches. The sudden gravity shift yanked (Y/n)’s hands clean off the chandelier, slicing her skin terribly as she tried to grab back on. She missed, she was falling.

(Y/n) couldn’t even scream, she just closed her eyes as tightly as she could and waited to meet the ground... speaking of which, shouldn’t she have hit it already?

(Y/n) peeled open an eye and slowly allowed herself to finally take in the buzzing that was surrounding her. Blowflies. She peered down past the swarm to see Cassandra, half formed with her arms outstretched, ready to receive her. (Y/n) could only stare, mouth slightly agape, as she was settled in Cassandra’s arms, watching the blowflies that had carried her mesh back into Cassandra’s legs.

“Why so surprised?” Cassandra asked with a mock sweetness that made (Y/n) shiver, “I simply couldn’t let you die just yet. No, I think I’d like to play with you just a little while longer.”

Cassandra happened to glance at the bloody hands clutched tightly to the maid’s chest and hummed. Adjusting her strong hold on the paralyzed maiden, she clutched the outermost wrist tightly and pulled it to her bloodied lips for a sample.

“Mm,” Cassandra appraised, passing her tongue over the cuts again, “yes, I think I’ll enjoy taking my time with you.” She cackled before unceremoniously dropping (Y/n) to the floor at a much safer, but still painful height.

“Go patch yourself up, my prey. You’re dismissed.” She said and then, she dispersed into a swarm of blowflies and was gone, her laughter bouncing off of the high ceilings.

(Y/n) sat on the floor dumbstruck, before finally getting up on shaky legs. She made her way to the maid’s quarters and upon seeing that it was empty, she allowed herself to cry as she cleaned and dressed her fingers. Lady Cassandra had saved her, saved her for a worse fate by her own hand no doubt. All she could do was wait.

***

Cassandra was a menace.

After the chandelier incident, (Y/n) found herself assigned to areas of the castle that Cassandra was known to frequent. There was never a minute’s rest when the middle child was free from her mother and sisters and even if Cassandra was occupied, (Y/n) often found herself nipped by the occasional stray blowfly as she did her work. There was no question in her mind where they had come from.

Yes, having caught Lady Cassandra’s eye had created a lot of extra work for the poor girl with extra antagonism. She’d poke and prod and pull, jostling (Y/n) around while she tried to stay on task. She would drag bloodied bodies through the carpeted halls (Y/n) had just cleaned and laugh as the poor maid went to restock her cleaning supplies. Cassandra would even demand (Y/n) drop everything to run her baths when she had grow tired of running around with blood smeared all over her like a toddler left alone with finger paints. She’d smugly present her bloodied face to (Y/n), silently demanding she wipe it clean for her and when she was satisfied, she would lean back in her tub and order (Y/n) to clean the bloodied weapons she’d drop dangerously close to her feet.

Cassandra was insufferable, yet, (Y/n) couldn’t help but think positively because it could have easily been much worse. For as taxing as dealing with Cassandra could be, she had never hurt her, not really anyway. Not like the poor maid who went to clean the armory and left with one less arm than she went in with. The occasional bite of a blowfly stung and the shoves and pinches could be bruising, but at least she still had all her limbs, no broken bones or sickle scars puckering her skin.

(Y/n) sighed to herself as she polished the same battle axe for the third time that week. She was the only maid allowed to clean the armory anymore after Bianca lost her arm. Lady Cassandra had said that only (Y/n) knew how to clean her toys with proper care and could make them twice as shiny and sharp. A few of the other maids would darkly joke with (Y/n) in the serving quarters about the middle Dimitrescu having a crush on her, but (Y/n) would simply dismiss their gossip and continue her work without complaint. Such rumors could be dangerous after all.

As (Y/n) heaved the axe back into its place on the wall, she heard the thrum of quick light feet running across the carpeted hall just outside. She frowned to herself, but kept working. Assuming it was just just another poor girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. However the door the the armory clicked open, and the slightly out of breath maid (Y/n) recognized as Moiara peaked in, flushed from all her running no doubt.

“Lady Dimitrescu is ordering all of the maids back to their quarters immediately.” The girl urgently informed.

“Whatever for?” (Y/n) asked, brows furrowed in concern. It was a most unusual order.

“Apparently a pack of Moroaica have escaped the cellar and are currently roaming the castle. The Lady’s daughters are hunting them down, but it could take some time to clear everything up. Lady Dimitrescu doesn’t wish to lose more workers than she can replace.” Moiara explained, albeit the last line came out a touch bitterly.

“I understand, I’ll make my way now. Be safe.”

“Thank you.” Moiara nodded before darting off again.

(Y/n) cautiously made her way to the door and peered down both ends of the hallway. Noting that it was clear, she left the doorway and shut the armory door before quickly walking in the direction of the maid’s quarters. It was quite a walk and (Y/n)’s heart went out to Moiara and the rest of the girls who were still scattered further within the castle’s walls.

The halls were eerily quiet and empty, not unusual, but with the added threat lurking, well, it made it a tad more unsettling. It was laughable really, for (Y/n) to be afraid now. The threat of death loomed over her head constantly and only now she was concerned?

(Y/n) chuckled despite herself as she rounded another bend, hardly checking her surroundings as she crossed the third hallway and then the fourth.

“Oh!” (Y/n) tripped on a raised wrinkle in the rug, her hand automatically grasped the curtain beside her to steady herself. She was lucky it didn’t rip or surely the Lady of the House would have her head, never mind the Moroaica.

As she made to steady herself on her own two feet again, the curtain she had grasped twisted harshly and was ripped from her surprised and slackened grip. (Y/n) felt her blood run cold and her feet turn to lead as the ‘curtain’ reached out for her, revealing rotten, gnarled fingers that snapped (Y/n)’s bicep in a firm squeeze. As it completed its turn, (Y/n) saw scraggly, yellowed teeth lunge for her neck.

She attempted to keep the stray Moroaica at bay. The whole interaction, frightening and life threatening as it was, was a near silent struggle. It was as if (Y/n) had lost her voice completely. All that came from her were stuttering gasps as the creature snarled and snapped at her.

It wrestled her to the floor and clawed at her clothes and skin, drawing the blood that it seemed to desperately crave. (Y/n) struggled and kicked at the creature but it was unrelenting and finally something happened that helped (Y/n) find her voice, she screamed.

The Moroaica clawed at her ribs, tearing fabric, skin and muscle alike. (Y/n)’s fighting grew weaker the more the monster dug at her and her mouth was still parted from her pained screams but they were now near silent croaks as the pain and blood loss threatened her consciousness. Seemingly noticing her weakened state, the Moroaica neared its yellowing teeth to her exposed flesh and—

“Oo, look Bela! I found another one~!”

(Y/n) reflexively closed her eyes and felt something hot and wet splatter across her face. She heard a squelching noise and felt dead weight fall against her body as Daniela’s giggles filled the hall.

“You shouldn’t be having so much fun.” Bela grumbled at her sister. “I knew mother should have sent you to your room. It would have been a more fitting punishment.”

“Okay, so maybe I forgot to lock the cellar, but you can’t say you aren’t having a good time as well.” Daniela said, grinning when Bela rolled her eyes, a small shadow of a smile forming on the eldest sister’s lips.

“Aw, look,” Daniela grunted, kicking at the dead Moroaica until its corpse rolled off of (Y/n), “well, let’s not let her go to waste. Her blood still smells good.”

“Wait, Daniela,” Bela said, holding her younger sister’s shoulder as she peered down at the bloodied maid her breaths coming raggedly as she fought to open her eyes. Bela sniffed and winced, shooting her sister a look.

“Daniela, take a closer look.”

“Ugh, fine,” the youngest groaned and leaned forward, “I don’t see why...” Daniela paused, her back went rigid. She just stared at (Y/n) for a few moments before finally turning to her sister, lips pursed.

“Cass is literally going to kill me.”

“You think?” Bela said, almost with complete disinterest.

“Well, don’t just stand there. Help me! If she dies, I die!” Daniela hissed, couching beside (Y/n) to assess the damage.

“I don’t know, I think I would kind of like to see Cassandra hunt you for sport.” Bela smirked.

“Bela!”

“Alright, alright.” Bela sighed, couching at (Y/n)’s other side.

The last thing the maid could make out before succumbing to unconsciousness was a dull, muffled buzzing and a feeling of weightlessness.

***

When (Y/n) awoke, she immediately noted that her throat was drier than a desert wind; her stomach and ribs also burned and itched like nothing she had ever experienced. She gingerly touched her stomach and found it covered in bandages. Her head ached so she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes for a few moments.

With great effort she hoisted herself into a sitting position and had to do a double take of her surroundings. This was not the maid’s quarters and given the amount of time she had been spending in here lately, she was quick to realize she was in Lady Cassandra’s room, in her bed. Before (Y/n) could really let it all sink in, the door was yanked open.

Cassandra stalked in, shutting the door tightly behind her before standing over (Y/n) with a fire blazing in her golden eyes. A blowfly (Y/n) had initially failed to notice crawled down the bedpost before meshing back into Cassandra’s body. Apparently she had been being watched.

“Why didn’t you call for me?” Cassandra gritted out, gripping the bedpost so hard (Y/n) was afraid it would splinter.

“Lady Cassandra?” (Y/n) questioned, still feeling numb and achy and not at all ready for such aggressive energy.

“Glad to know you still remember.”Cassandra said mockingly before her voice became low and serious again, “You were in trouble, why didn’t you call for me?”

“I don’t...” (Y/n) winced and held her head, it felt like she was on a boat in rocky waters.

Cassandra took notice and with surprising gentleness, lowered (Y/n) to rest fully against the bed once more. She even offered (Y/n) water and helped her drink. Then she checked her temperature, the cool touch of her skin felt wonderful against (Y/n)’s aching head.

“What happened?” (Y/n) murmured, whining when Cassandra went to remove her hand. A bit hesitantly, she put it back. A small, prideful smile curved at her lips when (Y/n) relaxed against her touch.

“Don’t you remember?” Cassandra scoffed, “I swear, you humans are so unbelievably fragile. You were attacked by a Moroaica that strayed from its pack. Bela and the idiot who caused the whole mess found you. I did some sucking up to mother and we fixed you up with a little herbal remedy,” Cassandra frowned her voice becoming a tad accusatory, “Yet you still slept for a long time.”

“I’m sorry to have been an inconvenience Lady Cassandra.” (Y/n) spoke up after trying to absorb all that Cassandra had told her. Surely it would have taken more than a, ‘little herbal remedy’ to fix what had happened to her.

(Y/n) scrunched her eyes shut when Cassandra suddenly growled and pinched the maid’s nose.

“I’m glad you realize it. Do you know how infuriating it is to watch another maid handle my weaponry all wrong? To not make my room the way that I like it? Ugh, I’d have killed them all if mother let me.” She let go of (Y/n)’s nose, swiping the side of her index finger playfully over the bridge a couple times before re-settling her hand over (Y/n)’s cheek.

“That’s why, when you’re all better, you are going to have to train one of those imbeciles how to do it right.”

“I can do it myself, Lady Cassandra. I can get back to work tomorrow I’m sure of it.” (Y/n) nearly pleaded. She was sure any girl she trained would end up killed anyway. There were too many little things that could set Cassandra off to count.

“There is no more cleaning for you. You’re retired.”

“Retired?” (Y/n) couldn’t help but gawk up at Cassandra. The notion was wholly unbelievable. No one retired from serving the Dimitrescus’ unless you counted dying as a form of retirement.

“Yes.” Cassandra said with near vicious finality.

“Lady Cassandra, my parents count on the lei I send them from my job here, please reconsider. There is no work for me back at the village and I’d just be another mouth my family cannot afford to feed.” (Y/n) beseeched, her body quaked with fever.

“Calm yourself.” Cassandra spoke as if attempting to be soft, but was still very on edge. “Your family will still receive money. You aren’t going back to the village.”

“I’m not?” (Y/n)’s brows drew together with further confusion, “but, then what will be my purpose if I’m not to work?”

“Does it really matter?” Cassandra flustered, a buzzing sound filled the space between them, “Your family is getting money and you don’t have to do anything for it, be grateful!” Cassandra pinched (Y/n)’s cheek a bit harshly before standing and stalking away. The buzzing following her as she tore the door open once more.

“I’ll be back with lunch.” The Dimitrescu grumbled before closing the door behind her once more.

“What is going on?” (Y/n) whispered to herself in disbelief before resting her head fully back against the pillow. She caught movement in the corner of her eye and turned her head just in time to watch a blowfly crawl back into the dark canopy of the bed.

***

(Y/n) wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Suddenly, she had all this free time on her hands and would for a long time apparently. It was nice when she was still recovering, but now that she had healed, she felt antsy.

Cassandra had handpicked a trembling maid for (Y/n) to train, but even those sessions did not last long as the poor girl, Anca was her name, was still expected to complete other chores. Something that did help to pass the time however was Cassandra herself, strangely enough. She was always the one to bring (Y/n) meals unless she was busy with some task her mother had given her, also giving (Y/n) little gifts and talking to her throughout each day. Sometimes the ‘gifts’ were gruesome and the talks seemed more like interrogations, but the effort in which Cassandra put into every interaction left (Y/n) intrigued with, and appreciative of the middle child.

Now wasn’t one of those times unfortunately, and (Y/n) found herself pacing the floor of her room, yes, one of her very own. Given to her by Cassandra right across the hall from her own. Now that she was well enough to do more on her own, she had been moved there about three weeks ago to have her own space. Another thing that was unheard of coming from the middle Dimitrescu. (Y/n) paused by the window to look out upon the snowy ground below.

“Miss (Y/n)?” A knock on the door, “May I speak with you?”

“Anca,” (Y/n) paused her paces, that was strange. There had been no plans for a lesson tonight. Nevertheless, (Y/n) was happy for the company. Ever since Cassandra had removed her from service, the other maids had avoided (Y/n) like a plague “please come in.”

The nervous little maid came in, closing the door tightly behind her, shoulders stiff as she slowly approached and took a seat in the chair (Y/n) offered to her.

“Are you alright? You’re shaking.” (Y/n) frowned, reaching out to comfort her only to watch Anca shrink away from her hand.

“Lady Cassandra,” she spoke, looking wildly around the room, “she will kill me I’m sure of it. What game are you playing?”

“Game? I’m playing no game.” (Y/n) tried to assure. “Has she said anything to you? I promise I’m covering every base I can—”

“You aren’t doing enough!” She screeched, startling the other. “I’ve seen the way she treats you. The privileges you’ve gained. This is all a set up! You were in my shoes not long ago, have you really lost your humanity so quickly?”

“Anca, please, calm yourself. I’m not working against you, I swear.” (Y/n) tried to explain. “Tell me what’s wrong, let me help you. How can I help you?”

“How?” Anca mumbled, rubbing at her dark rimmed eyes. “It’s all because of you that I’m in this mess to begin with!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Anca.”

“No, I really don’t think you are.” Anca sniffed, rising from her chair. “But maybe there is something you can do to help me. I’m already dead, but I want to hurt Lady Cassandra before I go and I think I can do just that,” she pulled a knife from her apron, “if I take you down with me!”

“Anca!” (Y/n) screamed, stumbling away just before the knife could strike her.

“Just hold still! I’ll do it fast, please!” Anca cried as she swiped at her again. “Let me just have this one thing! This one last fuck you to this hell hole!”

“Stop! You’re making a mistake!” (Y/n) tried again, wrestling with Anca for the knife.

The scuffle went on for minutes before (Y/n) was thrown to the back wall, the knife missed her head just barely and sunk into the wood behind her. As Anca struggled to hold her in place and wedge the knife free, (Y/n) called out for her without even realizing it until the blood drained from Anca’s face.

“Cassandra!”

“No, shut up! Shut up you bitch!” Anca squealed, rocking the knife more vigorously.

“Cass—“ (Y/n) tried to call out again, this time fully aware of what she was doing, only to be head-butted by Anca in a desperate attempt to quiet her while she continued to work at the knife.

It was too late for that however, as proven by angry buzzing sounds roaring through the hallway and sliding under the door before forming right at Anca’s back, a cold hand joined Anca’s over the knife and grasped her so hard, (Y/n) could hear the maid’s fingers crack.

“You want this knife, do you?” Cassandra sneered, “Please, allow me.”

Cassandra tugged the knife from the wall like it had been warm butter, Anca’s hand still clenched in her own. She used her other arm to pull Anca off of (Y/n) with a rough tug and hardly took more than a few steps away before plunging the knife deep into the girl’s chest.

“There you go. You’re welcome you miserable little wretch.” Cassandra raked the knife downward, slicing Anca’s flesh all the way down to the hip as the poor girl screamed. “That will teach you to touch what doesn’t belong to you!”

(Y/n) could only watch, wide-eyed and trembling as Cassandra dissolved into her swarm, allowing Anca to fall to the floor before hundreds of little mouths began working at her flesh until the screaming ceased and all that was discernible was a frozen expression of agony on Anca’s face.

The blowflies came back together after a few more moments of feeding and Cassandra reformed, crouched beside (Y/n). (Y/n) didn’t even realize she had sunk to the floor during the gruesome attack.

Cassandra raised a blood covered hand to (Y/n)’s cheek, turning the face in her grasp, she assessed the damage, buzzing all the while. Somehow the sound felt, calming, reassuring. (Y/n) didn’t even flinch away from her touches and instead found herself leaning into them.

“Just look at what that thing did to you,” Cassandra hissed as she watched the blood leak from (Y/n)’s nose, “I should have killed her even slower.”

(Y/n) sniffled, leaning her head on Cassandra’s shoulder, “Thank you for coming.”

“I’ll always come to you if you call for me,” Cassandra sighed and pulled (Y/n) into her lap. She smelled almost overwhelmingly of blood, but (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to care. “No one has ever called for me like you have before. No one that wasn’t my mother or sisters anyway,” Cassandra bit her lip, “I... at first, I was enraged that you called for me that first time, but the more I thought about it... Ugh! You made me feel all gross and buzzy inside. I’m just so used to humans fearing me, associating me with death. Never have I been called by one expecting to be saved from it.”

“Is that why you helped me after that Moroaica had attacked me?” (Y/n) asked, her voice still muffled by Cassandra’s shoulder. She didn’t really want to catch sight of Anca’s remains again while in the arms of her killer.

“Yes. I’m still mad at you for that.” Cassandra growled, “Why didn’t you call for me that time? I thought we had an understanding.”

“I’m sorry,” (Y/n) chuckled despite everything, “But I think understandings are usually met through open communication. I’m sorry I didn’t interpret your bug bites and general antagonisms as anything but blatant harassment.”

“Excuse me?” Cassandra snarled, reminding (Y/n) just how frightening she could be.

“I, I’m sorry Lady Cassandra. I forget myself.” (Y/n) stammered before gasping as Cassandra effortlessly rose to her feet with (Y/n) still in her arms.

“You must be awfully tired to be so mouthy. I can’t imagine you’ll want to sleep with a corpse on your rug so you’ll just have to sleep in my room until the maids clean this mess up. I suppose I’ll need to fix your nose too. So fragile, my prey is.” Cassandra sighed, clearly feeling inconvenienced by the whole situation. Though she carefully maneuvered out of the doorway so (Y/n) wouldn’t bump against it as they made the short trip across the hall to her room.

“You treat me quite well for being prey.” (Y/n) tested with caution. “You protect me, but why? Is it all so you can end me yourself at your own leisure?”

“Oh wow Cass, you really know how to make a maiden feel special.”

“I knew she was full of it, Bela! I bet they haven’t so much as kissed yet!”

(Y/n) felt Cassandra’s grip on her tighten as the mocking voices of her sisters closed in on them before Cassandra could slink into her room.

“Shut the hell up and mind your own business!” Cassandra fumed, crossing the threshold into her room before kicking the door shut, making a thunderous slam reverberate off of the castle walls.

Bela and Daniela merely giggled, seeping through the cracks of the doors before reforming over their sister’s bed, nearly falling on top of each other as Cassandra sped past them to take (Y/n) into her en-suite bathroom.

She placed (Y/n) on top on the counter and tweaked her nose without warning, making (Y/n) yelp in pain.

“Quiet prey, I needed to set your nose back into place is all,” Cassandra wrinkled her nose as more blood oozed from the abused cartilage, “damn, why must you smell so enticing.”

(Y/n) couldn’t find any words, both because her nose stung like hell and she was still stuck on what Daniela and Bela were taunting Cassandra about, so she just managed a small shrug.

Cassandra hardly seemed to mind her lack of verbal response. She was too busy grinding her teeth as her sisters continued to whisper and laugh in the bedroom. Cassandra quickly wiped and stuffed (Y/n)’s nose, nearly hissing at her to remain still before going back to deal with her unruly siblings, licking the stray blood from her fingers as she went.

(Y/n) tried to give her some privacy, she really did, but it was hard not to listen in when they were speaking so loudly, and about herself no less.

“You two get out of my room, now!” Cassandra commanded.

“Why? It’s not like anything unseemly is going to be happening in here. Right, Daniela?” Bela giggled while Daniela downright cackled with glee.

“Get. Out. Now!” Cassandra bellowed.

“Oh no Cassie,” Daniela waggled a finger, snatching it back before Cassandra could bite it, “you spend weeks pretending to have gone all the way with dear (Y/n) over there like some casanova and now we find out she doesn’t even know you like her?”

“What’s the matter Cassandra? It isn’t like you to be so chaste.” Bela said with a smirk.

“She must really like this one to be taking her time like this.” Daniela hypothesized with a bloodstained grin.

“Leave you idiots!” Cassandra nearly screamed, “She can probably hear everything you’re spewing! I’ll throw you out in the cold, don’t think I won’t!”

“Geez Cass, no need to be so hostile,” Bela shivered at the thought.

“Yeah, you take your well deserved teasings or we’ll tell mother you are not playing fair.” Daniela added with a pout.

Cassandra pinched the bridge of her nose shutting her eyes tightly before releasing her nose with a growl and snapping her gaze back to her sisters.

“What do you want?” She grumbled.

“Oo! I want the best bits of your next hunt!” Daniela immediately proclaimed.

“I want to watch you flounder about whilst you try to explain your affections to the maiden.” Bela had said after a moment of consideration.

“Oh! That sounds fun. I retract my previous statement. I want what Bela’s having.” Daniela wiggled.

“I hate you both.” Cassandra huffed before stalking back to the bathroom, her giggling sister’s on her heels. (Y/n) quickly shot her gaze down at her swinging feet, suddenly more interested in the patterns of the floor below.

It didn’t take long for Cassandra to grab (Y/n)’s jaw and pull her face upward to meet her golden eyes.

“Listen prey,” Cassandra swallowed and blinked, her eyes darting all around (Y/n)’s face, “I...”

“Come on, Cassandra. It’s not that difficult.” Bela cooed, egging her sister on.

“I could tell her for you. That would be fun.” Daniela suggested, shrinking back just a bit at the look Cassandra shot her over her shoulder.

“Prey, (Y/n), I... Why is this so hard!” She stomped her foot and her nails bit into (Y/n)’s skin a bit too harshly, “I like you a lot and that’s why I’ve been helping you. I want you to like me too. Do you? Be honest.” She asked with a bit of hostility.

Did (Y/n) like Cassandra? Either way, it seemed like a death sentence to say no. Cassandra seemed to notice (Y/n)’s trepidation and quickly added,

“You don’t have to be scared. I won’t hurt you, just tell me the truth. If the answer is not to my liking then I guess I’ll simply have to try harder.” She said as if the words physically hurt her to say.

(Y/n) thought back on all of her interactions with Cassandra in a new light. Actually being caught as she fell, the schoolyard boy with a crush behavior (which honestly didn’t give the her any points but did make sense for how the murderous woman might try to show affection), most promising was how she brought (Y/n) back to health and continued to send money to her struggling family despite not working. Then of course she had saved her from Anca’s knife, wasting no time in cutting her down and checking (Y/n) over with care.

(Y/n) gave Cassandra a small smile that steadily grew a bit wider as golden eyes traced the movement and a hopeful sounding buzz began warbling in the back of her throat. Even the sisters standing behind her buzzed in unison, seemingly feeling their sister’s hope and growing excitement.

“Lady Cassandra, I like you too—Eep!”

Cassandra’s face dove into (Y/n)’s neck as her strong arms wrapped around (Y/n) to hold her still as she nuzzled and buzzed to her heart’s content. Bela and Daniela dissolved into their swarms and were haphazardly flying around them in celebration.

Cassandra gave (Y/n)’s neck a playful nip, much softer than a blowfly, before standing back to her full height and throwing (Y/n) over her shoulder.

“Lady Cassandra?” (Y/n) tried, wiggling a bit in the sudden new hold.

“Shhh, I’ve been waiting for this moment for weeks.” Cassandra said, craning her neck to look up at her sisters still buzzing above them, “Buzz off.” She told them. The clouds of flies let out a bout of disembodied laughter before slipping back under the door, feeling that they had given their sister enough grief for one night.

Once Cassandra was sure they were gone, she tossed (Y/n) on to the bed and climbed in as well, hovering over the stuttering maiden.

“Wuh- wait, Cassandra, I know we established we like each other but—“ the former maid flustered as Cassandra rested her full weight over (Y/n)’s body and moaned pleasantly in her ear.

“Mm, you’re so warm. I could just lay here forever.” She sighed, snaking her hands underneath (Y/n)’s back.

“Thank... you?” (Y/n) awkwardly replied. For as tall and strong as Cassandra was, she was surprisingly light. (Y/n) figured the fact that she was made up of flies had something to do with that.

Cassandra hummed some more, nuzzling her nose in the crook of (Y/n)’s neck and breathing so deeply that (Y/n) couldn’t help but giggle. There was a bit of concern bleeding in the back of her mind, but the smiling lips on her collarbone were quick to distract her.

“I quite like it when you make that sound, it’s sweet. But right now I’m quite tired, and I would like for you to be quiet now. I’m listening to your blood move.”

Well, that was a slightly terrifying admission. (Y/n) must’ve been going mad because she reacted no differently than if she had said she was listening to her heartbeat.

“Goodnight then.” (Y/n) murmured, slowly patting Cassandra’s hair, earning a low continuous buzzing that persisted until they had fallen asleep together.

#re8 oneshots #resident evil oneshots #resident evil village oneshots #cassandra dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x reader

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inupibaldspot · 3 years

Text

Our Snowfall

Pairing: Baji x Reader

Request: OPEN

Note: I cried writing this I’m in so much pain rn 😭

Baji slowly opened the door,revealing room of white color, with faint sent of medicines and anti-septic's.

Earlier he was playing catch with Mikey outside, but Mikey wanting to show off threw the ball too hard making the ball zoom across the sky as it breaks the window to a hospital room.

Baji was about to shout at Mikey only to find the blonde boy had disappeared without a trace. And now Baji was on a mission to get his ball back.

“I’m sorry for breaking your window.” Baji bows his head from the door.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Baji blinked in confusion. The voice was that of a young child and not an adult like he was expecting. He raises his head to see a small figure ,who looked really weak.

The person smiled. “The ball is on the table there. It would be best if you left before nurse comes back.”

Baji nods as he walks in and takes the ball. He notices that the broken glasses pieces were already picked up and clean.

Baji turns to look at you. “My name is Baji Keisuke. What is yours?”

Your lips curl into a weak smile. “My name is Y/N…”

Baji walks towards you. “Are you sick,Y/N?” His expression was somewhat worried.

You nod. “I’ve been here forever.” You laugh. “Mama told me I can’t go outside because I get sick easily so I stay at the hospital so Mr. Doctor can help me…”

Baji frowned. He was always an active kid who spend most of his time playing around so when he heard that you don’t get to go outside,it made him sad. “Is it okay if I visit you sometime.”

Your eyes widens as color appears on your cheeks,you then smiled brightly. “I would love that!”

True to his words,Baji immediately visited you the next day.

Ever since Baji entered your life,your life has been full of colors. Baji would always talk about how he spend his day,he would talk about his friends and all the crazy thing they would do.

He would always visit you,never making you feel lonely. Along the way he even introduced some of his friends. First he brought Mikey along and then the next Mitsuya and Pachin.

You were scared at first when Baji said they were in gangs but when you got to know them,they were just dorks,lovable and funny dorks.

“I heard this time we are going to have a white Christmas.” You said as you looked outside.

Baji who was cutting apples for you, stopped as he looks at you. “Are you going to be with your parents?”

You shook your head. “Both my mom and dad are going to be busy with work so they said we can’t celebrate it with me this time.”

You smiled as you turned to look at Baji. “But the nurses said they’re going to set up a Christmas tree so I’m excited!”

Baji looks at how your eyes brightened when you talked about the Christmas tree. You looked so happy talking about and that made you seem so much beautiful.

“I’m sure it would look so pretty-“ Your words came to a halt when you started coughing. The coughing never seemed to die down making Baji rush to your side and when it finally did,there were blood in your hands. He looked at you in horror but you didn’t seem to panic,rather you looked as if you were think ‘Not this again.’ As if this happened regularly.

“I’ll get the doctor real quick!” With that he rushes away.

…….

To your dismay the Christmas tree was smaller than expected but nevertheless you enjoyed the cake your parents ordered for you,you ended up eating them with the grandma next door.

Maybe it was because you weren’t with Baji today,the day felt bit gloomier even-though it was such a joyous day. You missed Baji.

Just when you were about to sleep,tiny knocks were heard at your door. “Psttt, Y/N.”

You look at the door confused. “Baji what are you doing here?”

Before you knew it,Baji makes you wear a thick jacket and cover your neck with a muffler not answering your question.The wide grin on his face perked your curiosity more.

He then kneels in front of you,his back facing you. “Get on!”

“Huh?”

Baji turns to you and he gives you a grin. “I’m going to show you a huge Christmas tree.”

Baji and you then sneak out of the hospital as he carries you to the main town. You gleam at how beautifully the place was decorated. The air outside was cold but it was so fresh, so much frsh as compared to the air in your hospital room.

“It started snowing!” You shouted excited as you raised one of you hand to try and hold it,only for it to melt as soon as it touches you. “The report was right! We’re having a white Christmas!” It was your first time actually being outside when it was snowing, normally you'd only watch the snow from inside.

Places were beautifully lit, decorated with lights filled with joyful atmosphere. Some with their family others on dates. As people start to stare at the sky taking in the entrance of the snow.

“We’re here!” Baji stops walking as he nudges his head at a particular direction.

There at a distance was a huge Christmas tree, decorated with fairy lights, colorful bulbs and small other decorations. “Wow…”

“Beautiful isn’t it-“ Baji stopped speaking as he looked at your expression. Your eyes gleamed as it shone,from all the lights, you nose and cheeks slightly flushed from cold but the most beautiful part was your smile.

You burrowed you face against Baji’s neck,making him feel ticklish but he didn’t mind it rather he love it. “Thank you Keisuke …” He could feel your breath against his neck.

“I’m so glad I could spend the Christmas with you…”

……

“I hate school!” Baji shouts as he messes his hair in frustration. “I don’t know why I have to study this bull shit!” Baji was currently in you room as he worked on his homework while you were reading a book. A pleasant way you guys would spend your time together. It has almost been two years since you guys met.

You laugh at Baji’s expression as you set down the book you were reading. “Come on now~ Don’t say that..I think school must be fun.”

Baji stops as he realizes what he did. You were someone who could never join school after multiple incidents of you passing out or getting rushed to hospitals when you were a kid.

You couldn’t experience school like he did. Baji huffs as he goes back to his books. “Fine… I’ll aim for twenty marks this time.”

“Twenty? That’s not even the pass mark.” You laugh at him. “How about you go for thirty at least.”

“Thats not the pass mark either, Y/N!“

You were about to say something when a sudden thought came into mind. “Keisuke … I actually was watching tv yesterday and I saw someone making a pumpkin themed cake…”

“So I thought I’d want to eat that but I don’t think I can complete it by myself. So how about you join me…?” Your cheeks flushed red.

You were basically asking him out on a date.Sure you guys spend time together alone but you never once made an offer like this to him. It has been months since you figured out you had feelings so Baji but you never really acted on it.

Since the thought of you getting rejected and in turn losing a beloved friend scared you to no end.

“Sure!” You turned your head quickly at his reply. Baji was smiling as well as he continued. “When would it be?”

You smile as you brought your hands together, excited. “I was thinking of October 31..”

“Ah… I don’t think I can join you then…” Baji replied regretfully. “How about November 1?”

“Sure!” As long as you could spend time with Baji, you were happy.

But then that day never came.

That day you waited for Baji to enter the room,with an untouched cake box on the table. The door opens to reveal Mikey,Draken and Mitsuya.

“Baji…Baji died during our fight against Valhalla …”

Would it be funny if you said you ate the cake while you cried? Probably,but that’s what you actually did. Stuffing you mouth with the soft creamy treat as tears pool you eyes.

Days after were as if a curtain closed closed your window, everything felt so much dim and it didn’t help that your condition seemed to worsen.

You were losing weight at an alarming rate,coughing up more blood at frequent rates. You grew increasingly weaker as you parents even took time off their jobs to nurse you.

But at certain nights you would wake up in tears,as you could barely breathe as you searched for Baji,hoping to see him with you in the room. “Keisuke…”

It was a peaceful winter evening ,the air was cold and places were quiet as white snow gently falls in the ground.

People outside were looking and hoping that the snow would set properly. Kids were already outside as they excitedly play out, parents in their homes were making food to warm themselves up.

“Stay with me Y/N!”

People were rushing all over the room as you dad hold your crying mom.

You head felt as if it was going to burst,a strong sense of nausea filled you. Everything you hear and see seemed so muffled and blur.

Despite you body feeling limp, it was twitching. You breathing which was rapid at first seemed to now slow down,accompanied with a strong aching pain.

Then suddenly all those suffering at once disappear.

You entered into a white place,as if each and every part was covered in snow.Your body felt light with no presence of pain that you were feeling just a second before.

You walked around too see that in a distance was a very familiar person.A person who made you life so much brighter. A person who you enjoyed every moment spend with him. A person you loved.

That person turns around as he expression turns into a frown.

“Why did you join me so early?”

You smile as a tear rolls down your face. “I guess I missed you too much,Keisuke.”

#baji scenarios #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagine #baji imagine #baji headcanons #baji x reader #baji #Baji Keisuke

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scummy-writes · 3 years

Text

A Helping Hand

Rating: Explicit

Words: 1753

Pairing: Arthur/Mc

Tags: Fingerfucking, Vagina Fingering, Flirting

Full fic under the cut!

Preview:

Admittedly, it took you a moment to take in what he meant, and his chuckle at how quickly you blushed only further flustered you as the heated puffs against the shell of your ear sent a jolt of arousal through you.

“My, someone is thinking dirty thoughts.”

“That’s not- you started it!”

“I don’t mind finishing it,” his tone dipped lower, his hand tracing your side until the pads of his fingers rubbed against the fabric of your skirt, "if you'll let me."

-----

Cleaning the study usually didn’t bring forth any issues. The residents often left you alone as they preoccupied themselves, neither of you paying much attention to the other. Usually the only one to give you any sort of trouble was the resident flirt, Arthur, who took any chance he could to make heat rise to your cheeks.

You knew it was a game of some sorts- how could it not be? Since the night you arrived, the two of you had been dancing around the flirting teases you were both guilty of. Foolishly, you wanted to defend yourself when it was brought up, making flimsy excuses to yourself that it was just playful banter that Arthur had started. But as the weeks turned into months, it was harder to dismiss the other ways he managed to make you blush. Or the way you found yourself jealous of the women he played with so often, or the way managing to make him smile outside of flirting made your stomach flutter…

But today, as Arthur toyed with your hair and almost closed the space between your bodies, you couldn’t dismiss the fluttering feeling as your heartbeat drummed in your ears.

“Arthur…”

“Are you using a new perfume? Why, it smells just like the one I suggested to you the other day.”

You blushed, feeling the back of the couch press against you as you attempted to step back, “i-is it? I didn’t realize…”

“Come now, you don’t have to pretend, you know? In fact, I’d be pleased to know you bought it because of me- my only complaint is that I wished you’d let me buy it.”

“I don’t need any pointless gifts, though.”

“Would a thank you gift for all your hard work be pointless?” Arthur let your hair drop from his nimble fingers, instead tipping your chin up to meet his gaze. An attempt to make you answer, or fluster you further… You weren’t sure which was the real reason.

“Well, at the time you didn’t say it was for a reason like that!”

“I’m aware. In fact I remember it quite clearly. You looked positively radiant that day and I saw it fit to-”

Embarrassed, you pulled his hand away so you could look away from that smug grin of his; but he wasn’t deterred, instead he continued, “I saw it fit to attempt spoiling our lovely housekeeper on her first day out of the dusty old mansion for the first time in weeks.”

“I go out more than that,” you huffed.

“Grocery shopping and chasing after us for forgetting a brolly doesn’t count, luv.”

You crossed your arms, thankful it gave a bit of space between the two of you, as the smell of his cologne was beginning to make you lose your reason.

“Still…”

“You are so delightfully stubborn,” he murmured before perking up again, “there’s always other ways I could show my appreciation though- ways that don’t involve money.”

“My, someone is thinking dirty thoughts.”

“That’s not- you started it!”

“I don’t mind finishing it,” his tone dipped lower, his hand tracing your side until the pads of his fingers rubbed against the fabric of your skirt, "if you'll let me."

Suppressing any further noise was difficult, as a quiet and aroused gasp tumbled out of your lips before you rushed to cover your mouth. Because it wasn't as if you didn't want to feel Arthur like this, it was just the embarrassment of being so needy with such a flirt felt as though it'd eat you alive before any vampire could. But Arthur caught the slip of pleasure, testing a brief kiss to your cheek.

"Mm, I do so love those sounds of yours," his hand rucked up your skirt, fingers dancing along your inner thigh, "say, let's draw out more, shall we?"

Arthur had you pinned to the back of the couch, but he still didn't push further once you cautiously grasped at his clothes- one hand still grazed your sensitive skin, while the other rested on the couch. The pause let you gather your thoughts, let you think a bit more clearly, yet the first words out of your mouth quickly gave yourself the answer you sought.

"W-what if someone else comes in?"

Arthur didn't miss a beat, pulling back to give you a smirk, "I do spend a fair amount of time in here, dove, I'm certain no one will stumble upon us-"

"B-but-"

"But if they do, you can blame me for anything that comes from it. Besides, I don’t intend to go too far."

You blushed, grip on his vest tightening.

"Then… what do you intend?"

That drew out another low laugh, his head ducking to press slow kisses along your jawline, "to let my favorite bird have a moment to relax, after all your hard work about the place."

"Th-thats it?"

"I'm always willing to provide more if you'd like?"

Mouth opening and closing for a moment, you finally spoke once your thoughts returned, "T-this is fine, f-for now."

Arthur waggled his eyebrows, "for now?"

You turned your head aside, embarrassment overtaking you. But he gently kissed your cheek, sliding the hand between your thighs up.

"I'm just teasing, luv. Now, let yourself relax, and tell me if you want me to stop."

"A-alright…"

With your permission shakily given, your shame ebbed away as he began to trail kisses along your neck, as if each brush of his lips against your skin was a reassurance. At the same time, Arthur stroked your slit through your underwear, letting out a small groan when he found the fabric damp. Your hands instinctively tugged him closer by his vest, resisting the urge to clamp your knees shut. This time he didn't tease you with that silver tongue of his, but you could feel his smile on each kiss.

You weren't sure what exactly he was getting out of this, but you tried to dispel those thoughts. Instead your face buried against his shoulder as his fingers dipped into your panties, quickly sliding over your clit and giving a few gentle swirls.

"My~, look at how wet you are…"

"H-hush…" The scold came out weakly, a groan shuddering out when his fingers began to stroke your sensitive nub in earnest.

He didn’t seem deterred by your retort, instead shifting to tease your entrance briefly before slipping his fingers inside. Eyes fluttering shut, you let this pleasure slowly build up in your abdomen, mentally thanking whatever Gods were out there for giving you the courage to accept Arthur’s offer.

“That’s it… Just like that,” his knee slotted between yours, a shiver running through him when your thigh brushed against his crotch. Momentarily, you could feel just how much this was working him up, but Arthur pushed your focus elsewhere again, nipping at your ear as he continued, “let me hear all of those little gasps, hm?”

The palm of his hand rubbed against your clit as he pumped his middle and ring fingers inside, focusing on the right spot that made you tremble and tighten your grip on his clothes. And thankfully, much of Arthur’s teases didn’t go too far. He just murmured soft praises and encouragements, many of which drowned themselves out as you kept trying to keep ahold of yourself for as long as possible.

It was… Embarrassing, to a certain extent- to get this close to the edge so quickly. But really, how long had it been for you since someone else had pleasured you?

Somewhere along the process you managed to nuzzle into his neck; hiding both your blush and muffling the few louder cries that spilled out as he thrusted harder. In this unplanned position, it was easy to feel the rumble of his chuckle through his chest. You just wished it didn’t send another wave of excitement through you.

“A-Arthur-!” You twisted your fingers in the fabric of his clothes, your body betraying you and rocking against his hand impatiently. In response, he carefully forced you to look up at him, and in the deep blue of his eyes you could see how easily your face betrayed your emotions. His lips quirked into a small smile, then he ran his thumb over your chin.

“I know a much better way of doing that,” Arthur spoke softly against your lips before taking them in his own, luxuriating on your taste once your tongues met. He kept the kisses slow in contrast to how hard his fingers were working your sweet spots, and you felt your legs tremble against your will as the wash of your orgasm overcame your senses.

Arthur quickly used his free hand to keep your head in place, greedily stealing any kisses he could as you gasped between them, still pumping inside of you until your eyes watered. It wasn’t until you blinked a few tears that he finally slowed his hand, kissing the stray salty droplets away. When you struggled as he stepped back to pull his hand out from under your skirts, he eased you to rest fully against him as you caught your breath.

There was some shuffling as Arthur brought out his handkerchief to wipe his hand clean, pouting a little when you denied his offer to help tidy you up, but otherwise he let you linger as much as you wanted. He combed his fingers through your hair as he waited, breaking the silence only after it was clear you were calm.

“While I’m confident not many come into the study, I’m sure if Sebas starts to notice your absence, he might start to search…”

Ah.. Feeling a little dejected, you pulled away. Catching sight of Arthur’s sympathetic gaze earned you a quick peck to the cheek.

“I did rather enjoy myself,” he admitted, helping you resituate your clothes, “I hope you did as well, dove.”

You smiled, indeed feeling a bit bolder knowing that his flirting wasn’t for nothing, “I did… And perhaps it’s giving me a few ideas for a return ‘thank you’ gift as well…”

"Then next time I wouldn't mind slipping under there myself," he gave your skirts a gentle tug, grinning when your cheeks bloomed red and you swatted his shoulder, "have a care, luv! Only if you'd let me!"

----

Arthur may say this is just for her, but I think we all know he's going to remember this fondly on lonely nights.

This has been in my drafts for some time now... I finally sat down today and just powered through and finished it... Second old draft I've done within a month! I hope I can keep this streak going... Thank you all for always being so patient with me qq

Masterlist | Ikevamp Server (18+)

Tag list (Please DM/Send an ask if you’d like to be added/removed): @aeoncryptic @anianakin @atrax-phoneutria @shookspearewrites @stehkotori @niintendoqs @otomefoxystar @blu-tigerr @jazzellen @cinnatwisted @buswilligan @tacogawa @kim-stitches @passionatebooklover @rinringo23 @aurora-morning @kimmy-banana

#Ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire arthur #smut

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selfcarecap · 3 years

Text

how about mj and the reader being ✨oblivious gays✨ for each other

I made this a tad bit more dramatic than it had to be, also this was such a good request i feel like i could write 10 more fics with this

-this is a repost of an old blurb-

MJ is so beautiful that it makes your heart hurt.

It’s not her looks that you fell in love with though, but her personality.

Her mannerisms, certain words she uses, her humour, her view on life and its different aspects. That’s what you fell in love with.

Simply seeing her talk and the way she expresses herself can make your heart go into a frenzy.

It wasn’t healthy anymore, and since you knew MJ would never like you back, you skipped an awkward confession of your love, and started distancing yourself from her straight away.

That was last week, and your heart breaks more with every day you two are apart.

But your chest ached even more when you had to pretend to be her friend and watch her live her life like that, when really you were in love with her.

Last night wasn’t the first time you cried because of MJ and you have a feeling it won’t stop for a long time.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you and MJ?” Peter asks you in the hallway, oblivious to how it’s killing you that you can’t be with MJ the way your heart desires.

“You know how MJ is obsessed with telling the truth?” Peter asks and you nod. Yes, you know all about it—another thing you love about her.

He continues, “It’s why she’s such a bad liar. She never lies but when I asked her why you two aren’t hanging out anymore, I knew she lied.”

“What did she say?” You wonder, butterflies in your stomach at only the mention of MJ.

“She didn’t even give me a real answer. She was just, like, super cold and pretended not to care but I saw right through her. But she said you two realised you just aren’t cool like you used to be and that you decided not to be friends anymore. Even if she hadn’t been super uncomfortable while telling me, even a stranger would have recognised the look in her eyes and it was not positive. So what happened?”

You look at Peter with wide eyes, not planning on answering his question as you scan the school for MJ.

You don’t know what you were thinking, but not this. You will never be able to forgive yourself if you and MJ part ways in a negative way.

“MJ,” you start, searching her eyes for what you hope can be forgiveness. It might be hate, you can’t tell yet.

She’s sitting on your bed, arms crossed, her bag placed by her feet, ready to be picked up and slung over her shoulder for when she leaves.

You start without planning what you’re about to say, wanting to use every second of her time that she gives you.

“I’m sorry for cutting you off so suddenly but I—”

Love you so much that it makes my heart hurt?

You can’t tell her that.

“MJ I can’t tell you the reason. You’ll hate me even more than you already do,” you say sincerely. Sitting down next to her, not too close though.

She sighs, wiping a tear that was threatening to fall from her eye, “I don’t hate you. I could never.”

“Well, you should. It was shitty of me to just break off all contact and avoid you from one day to the next. But if you hear my reason, you’ll probably be thankful I did it.”

“Tell me why. I won’t leave until you tell me the reason. But I can’t think of anything bad enough to tear us apart. I miss you.”

You swallow, resisting the urge to kiss her pouty lips. She looks so pretty. She always does.

“I- I can’t look at you.”

“I’ll turn around then,” says MJ, not missing a beat as she scoots around on the bed, leaning her back against yours.

“MJ,” your voice cracks, tears unwillingly rolling down your face.

You feel MJ shift behind you, but she stays in place.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you pour out your soul to her.

“When- whenever I‘m with you, I fall for you a bit more. By now I‘m so in love with you and spending a single second with you, looking at you, hearing you speak, doing anything, knowing that you‘ll never like me back, breaks my heart into so many pieces I don‘t think I‘ll ever be able to mend it.”

She gulps, “You like girls too?”

You don’t know what you were expecting, but not this.

Wiping your face, you stand up, ready to leave the room but MJ grabs your hand, pulling you back down, facing you this time.

You answer MJ’s question with a nod, not meeting her eyes.

“I never knew-“ she says and you recognise a glint of hope in her eyes when you replay what she just said in your head.

“Wait- too?”

With a sharp intake of breath, MJ pulls you in. Her hands on your cheeks, demanding but gentle as she guides your face to hers, lips connecting motionlessly for only a short second until you snap out of it.

You start kissing her back with more passion than you’ve ever put into anything else in your entire life.

But with your sudden fervour you kind of mess up the rhythm, causing you both to pull away.

You blink at her a few times before breaking out into a giant smile that’s also stretched across her face.

“I never knew you felt the same. I- I fell in love with you the first time we met. But I thought you just liked guys and our friendship was the most important thing to me in the world so I didn‘t want to mess it up by confessing.”

“Oh,” a laugh escapes you at the same time as a tear, MJ wiping at your cheek with her thumb.

She holds you against her chest, as your tears spill out, tears of relief, tears of feeling at home and at ease, pouring out the feelings you’ve kept hidden for forever.

Stupid fucking tears. You just want to kiss her.

You look up at her as your face and cheeks are dry again, your vision of MJ clear.

She’s beaming at you, eyes full of adoration.

“Can we kiss again? I kind of- I didn’t realise what was going on the first time.”

She grins at you with her perfect smile, a hand behind your neck, pulling you down to the bed with her.

“We can kiss as many times as you want.”

#mj x reader #michelle jones x reader #mj fluff #mj blurb #1k words #spiderman no way home #blurb #fem!reader #michelle jones #mj x fem!reader #selfcarecap

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kpostedsum · 3 years

Text

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

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killianglyndon · 3 years

Text

Reunion (tbb ep.16 fix-it fic)

Pairing: Crosshair x Medic! Female Reader

Warning: tbb ep.16 spoilers, mentioned of killing people, inhibitor chip?, some kissing, grammar mistakes, typo (cause i didn’t proof read lol. im too tired to do that.)

A/N: anyway, i was so mad and sad about tbb finale, so i decided to write a fix-it fic. That doesn’t mean I hate the episode, this is just my version of story. im not really good at writing so...haha. that’s why im a gifmaker, also my main language is not English, so there would have some typos and grammar mistakes.

Word count: 1.6k

read on ao3

You and The Bad Batch were on the way to save Hunter. You knew this would be a trap, but you couldn’t help but think of a certain sniper, your lover.

You and the batch didn’t understand what had happened to him at first, his brother, your love. The way he called you and the batch traitor, the way he raised his gun to you, and the way he talked. This wasn’t him, this was not the crosshair you know.

Then, it turned out that the kaminoans had implanted inhibitor chips in every clone to make clones blindly follow orders, even killing the jedi.

“Good soldiers follow orders” This line kept echoing in your head after you heard Crosshair say it. This, this was not the crosshair you know.

***

“You and omega wait here” Echo told you and omega.

“No, we should stick together!” Omega protested.

You put a hand on Omega’s shoulder, trying to calm her.

“No, echo’s right” Wrecker agreed with him.

“Stay out of sight, if things go south we’ll send you a signal. Go back to the ship and contact Rex.” Echo added, looking at you and omega.

You gave him a nod and pulled Omega back to your side before watching them ascend to the training room.

You know how much Hunter meant to Omega, the way they interacted, and the way they cared for each other. You understood why the young girl looked up to him.

“Omega, I’m sure they’ll get Hunter back.” You reassured her.

“I know, and Crosshair.” She looked at you with her bright eyes.

You were a little shocked when she mentioned him. All this time, you tried so hard to suppress your feelings for him, your love for him. The batch knew that you missed him, they could tell. The way you stared into his empty bed, and the nights that you cried until you were too tired and the tears were dried.

“Yeah, and Crosshair…” You smiled sadly at the young girl.

***

When you and Omega joined the batch in the training room, you, Omega, and AZI stayed in one of the gun towers. That was when you saw him, your Crosshair. Hunter and he were tackling each other while Tech, Echo, and Wrecker were shooting the droids.

“I believe you may have activated a few too many droids.” AZI said to Omega and you.

“ We can see that, AZI.” Omega raised her bow, aiming for the nearest droid to Hunter and Crosshair. Meanwhile, you used your blaster to shoot some of the droids near the others.

***

After clearing out all the droids, you, Omega, and AZI joined the others on the ground. You walked closer to Crosshair and Hunter.

You could see that Crosshair was shocked to see you, the coldness in his eyes, mixing up with a tiny bit of shock.

The big scar on the right side of his head was horrifying, did the empire did this to him? Your heart almost broke into million pieces, seeing the love of your life like this.

“Crosshair…” Your voice almost sounded like a whisper.

For a moment, you see the real Crosshair, your Crosshair. But soon replaced by the coldness and aloofness.

“Crosshair, forget the empire. This isn’t you, it’s the inhibitor chip.” Hunter tried to talk some senses into him.

“Wrong.” Crosshair stared back at Hunter. “I had my chip removed a long time ago.” He added.

All of you looked shocked, Tech and Wrecker looked at each other, speechless. Hunter almost looked hurt.

“Since when?” Hunter asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes”

No. No. This is not Crosshair. The Crosshair you know would never do this.

“Cross, the empire lied about many things, what if they lied to you?” You asked, trying to hold back your tears.

“This is who I am.”

Crosshair tried to raise his rifle, but Hunter was faster. He stunned him before Crosshair’s attempt.

***

“Hunter, three Venators are descending on the city. We need to leave, now.” Tech stated.

“Wrecker, grab Crosshair. He’s coming with us.” Hunter grabbed Crosshair’s rifle and backpack, while you went to picked up Crosshair’s helmet.

You saw Omega gave Hunter a nod before walking away. Hunter caught you staring at him, so you gave a sad smile to him in return.

“He’s coming home with us.” Hunter said.

***

You and The Batch finally made it to Nala Se’s lab, Tech and Echo were currently trying to figure out a plan. After Crosshair and Hunter’s intense conversation, you saw him walking to the window and taking a seat to rest.

“AZI, come with me, I need your help on something.” You asked.

AZI followed you to Crosshair, you took a seat beside him.

“Crosshair…”

“What do you want?” He asked coldly.

“AZI is a medical droid, he can scan you to check if you still have the chip.”

“Indeed, I helped CT-5555 removed his and CT-5385’s chip according to my memory database.” AZI said.

“Fine.” Crosshair agreed reluctantly.

“CT-9904, this scan only takes a few seconds” AZI said before scanning Crosshair.

To be honest, you knew he still had the chip, you hoped he still had the chip. Cause there was no way, no way the Crosshair you knew would be like this.

“The scan is completed.” AZI said.

“So..?” You asked.

“CT-9904 still has his chip, the chip’s effect was weakened due to the injury from ion engine.” AZI answered.

You felt almost relieved?

The Batch heard it and rushed to you, “He still has...his chip?” Hunter asked, sounded a little guilty.

Echo, Tech, Omega, and Wrecker looked at each other, surprised by this unexpected news as well.

“That would be correct.”AZI replied.

“Could you remove it, AZI?” Omega asked, she wanted his brother back as much as any of you did.

“Yes. I’m capable of removing CT-9904’s inhibitor chip.”

“Do it.” Hunter said.

You stayed next to Crosshair while AZI removed his chip. The surgery was faster than you think, you hold Crosshair’s hand during the whole surgery, and you still holding it now.

“CT-9904’s chip has been removed. He should be awake in any minutes.” AZI stated.

You felt his hand pressing yours, “Crosshair?”

“I...I…”

“Hey, you’re okay now. We removed your chip.” You reassured him.

Crosshair looked away from you, his eyes filled with guilt, confusion, anger, sadness.

“Don’t you hate me?” He asked. “All those things I had done…”

Your hand reached out to stroke his face, “No. Never. I know it’s the chip, Cross. It’s not your fault.” You smiled at him. “I love you, always and forever.”

Crosshair put his hand on your face, wiping away the tears falling down your face. “ But I shot at you, I tried to kill you… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Shhh, I forgive you, Cross. All of it. I’m sorry we didn’t come to save you earlier…”

Crosshair sat up and pulled you into a hug, you melted into his touch, inhaling his scent. Your Crosshair was finally back to you, this is real. The sleepless night without him, the loneliness, the emptiness, the desperation, were all gone. Crosshair was back to you, alive.

“I love you too, cyare.” He said it back.

He pulled away a little so he could kiss you on the lips, his hand trailed to your nape, kissing you with force. You and Crosshair clung on to each other so hard, afraid you would lose each other again. That was when you heard Hunter cleared his throat, you two finally pulled away from each other.

“I know you two miss each other but this lab is about to collapse. and this is not very…” Hunter said and eyed Omega.

“Right, sorry about that.” You answered, then looked at Crosshair whose arm was still wrapped around you. “Cross.” You nudged him.

“Fine.” He gave up and retreated his arm.

“I see Crosshair still has his severe and unyielding personality.” Tech stated.

“This is called missing someone, Tech.” Crosshair said and pulled out one toothpick to throw it at him.

“Ha! He’s back!” Wrecker exclaimed and playfully punched Crosshair’s shoulder.

Crosshair pretended to show an annoyed face, but deep down you knew he missed his brothers.

“Listen, Crosshair. I’m sorry. We should have come for you earlier.” Hunter said. “I was trying to keep the rest of the squad safe, but you are one of us. I’m sorry.”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, just stood up and walk toward Hunter. For a moment you thought he was going to punch him, but instead, Crosshair extended his hand to Hunter.

Hunter looked at Crosshair’s hand then his eyes, he reached out his hand to shake Crosshair’s.

“We need to leave fast, the structure could not hold much longer.” AZI chimed in.

***

All of you finally made it to the platform, for once the Kamino is sunny.

Omega stared at the Tipoca City, which was all destroyed. “It’s… all gone.”

You looked at that direction, the place all clones called home was all gone. The Batch and you took a few seconds to process this, to accept the fact.

“We should leave before Empire’s scouts show up.” Tech said.

“You coming with us?” Wrecker asked, looking at Crosshair.

“Yeah.” Crosshair said and took out a toothpick, putting it into his mouth.

Hunter nodded at him before walking to the ship with the others.

You still stood next to Crosshair, “You ready?” you asked.

“Yeah.” He gave you a little smile then intertwined his hand with yours, leading you to the Marauder.

You didn’t know what the future would be, but one thing was sure. Crosshair would be right beside you, always and forever.

tagging: @ahsoka1 @kavecika @starwarschicken @itsjml @ct-1994 @loth-wolffe-main @theiirs @thefeatherofhope @ahs0ka-tan0 @mallr4ts @kriffclone

#the bad batch #clone trooper crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #crosshair x reader #commander crosshair x reader #the bad batch x reader #bad batch crosshair x reader #star wars #tbb spoilers #crosshair #crosshair bad batch #mywriting

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hiphop-rap-and-basketball · 2 years

Text

rookie year | chapter 5

• a lamelo ball fanfic by hiphop-rap-and-basketball •

Pairing: LaMelo Ball x fem!reader

Word count: 3,460+

A/N: Let’s just pretend that preseason just ended and it’s the actual season now. And let’s pretend like I know wtf I’m writing about when it comes to basketball. This chapter was a lil challenging 🤣 I told y’all I didn’t know shit 💀💀😅 , Ik in real life they play against certain teams from certain parts of the country but yeah💀 this my story and this is how it’s going LMAO enjoy loves I actually like this chapter but I really like every chapter I’ve written so far 😂 and like I said dates aren’t super significant I just wanted to add them to make a better understanding of a timeline, anyway carry on 😌

Wednesday, September 18th 2019

You were looking forward to this day ever since Melo gave you and Tristan the tickets last week. You made sure your schedule was all cleared up for the evening so you had enough time to get ready for the game.

You oddly felt some pressure about how you looked. I mean, yeah Melo knows who you are but that does not mean all eyes are on you. It was a basketball game but nonetheless you still wanted to feel good about what you had on and how you did your make up.

You spent the early morning editing photos. You had finally got Melo’s photos edited and finished so you sent them all to him. You awaited his response. While doing so, you got ready for the shoot you had today.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: oh my god these look amazing camera girl.

You feel a grin grow on your lips.

You: I’m so happy you love them!😊

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: I really do. Can I tag you if I post them?

You were unsure how you felt about him openly giving you credit. It kind of scared you knowing if he tagged you it might bring an influx of followers you may not be ready for.

You: it’s okay, you don’t have to. you’ve shown enough appreciation and I’m really grateful for it. Thank you Melo.

You decide to double text.

You: I’m so excited for tonight, I’ve been looking forward to it. Feels good to have a reason to get out of the house and do something fun for me for once. Well, for us.

You await his response. Feeling a tad bit like you shared too much information, you avoid looking at your phone for a while. It was the honest truth. It was hard to get Tristan out of the house most days when he was too tired from work.

You prepared lunch before you head out or your shoot. The shoot you had planned today was a couple shoot scheduled for two hours. It gave you just enough time to get back, shower and change before the game and edit some of their picture before Tristan came to pick you up.

During this shoot, you enjoyed your time with this couple as they were kind enough to share their story on how they got together. The two of them being gender fluid and using they/them pronouns, they shared with you how they went through so many struggles before coming to terms with their identity. By the end of your shoot, their story had you in tears. Their love was so very real and it obviously showed strongly in the photos.

“Well thank you two so much for your time. Thank you for sharing with me your love story,” nodded at them both as you spoke.

“Why of course,” one of them stated. “Are you in a relationship?” They asked.

The question caught you off guard and you looked to the ground.

“Yes, yes I am. It’s been a bit rocky lately but I hope we’re working through it,” you shrugged.

“Well they better be treating you like the Queen you are. You deserve to be recognized for your beauty and kindness,” they smiled.

“Oh stop I’ve cried enough are you kidding? Thank you so much,” you exclaimed and they both erupt in laughter.

They go on their way and you do to. You had an exciting evening to look forward to.

You finally checked your phone.

Melo 🕺🏾🛸💯: Are you Fr? I’m glad you’re excited. I’ll have to play even harder now to make it worth your while 🤣 camera girl how you out here taking pictures of everyone but not going nowhere? Nah nah nah you got places to see!!!

Tristan 😊❤️: Pick you up at 6pm? The game starts at 7pm

You looked at the clock, it was 4pm. You had just enough time to hurry tf up! Move girl!

You rushed home and got straight into the shower, scrubbing your body with a sugar scrub, shaving and then using body wash. Washing your hair and rushing to make sure your entire body was clean. You huffed when you got out, wishing you had at least shaved in the morning to save you the effort right now. You checked the clock and luckily you were doing good on time.

After your shower you used the same scent for your lotion and perfume. Putting the outfit on Melo said was the best. You kept your make up look pretty smooth and natural the way you liked it. It had been a while since you had worn make up since you stopped worrying about it on shoots because your foundation would always rub off onto your camera screen when you were shooting.

Finally feeling content with your look, you looked at the time.

5:58pm

Just in time, thank heavens. Gathering your purse together. You looked at your camera bag for a moment. It felt funny to leave the house without it. Nonetheless, you were so excited to be going out and doing something fun.

Tristan😊❤️: Here

You locked up your apartment and headed down the elevator. Alone on the trip down, you thought about how you had been alone in the elevator with Melo a couple times at this point. You thought about how he was in a locker room in a huge arena surrounded by so many people about to play an NBA game.

You made your way out of the elevator and found your boyfriend pulled up in his car, you opened the door and sat in the front seat, settling in and clicking on your seatbelt.

“Hey,” you greet him by giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Woah hello, you smell really nice,” he complimented.

“Thank you,” you grin. “You excited?”

“Hell yeah, let’s get it.”

The drive there was smooth. Getting closer to fall in North Carolina meant dusk would be approaching sooner. Approaching the huge arena made it feel even more unreal. After struggling to get in the busy parking garage, you both got out of the car ready to make your way in the stadium. You looked Tristan up and down for a moment, admiring his outfit.

“You look good,” you say quietly.

He smiles, “thanks, you like the new shoes? Nothing crazy,” he smirks and you roll your eyes.

“And how many does that make now in the collection? 50?” You reply.

“Actually, 55,” he retorts proudly and you snort.

“Oh my gosh, let’s go you hooligan,” you laugh and the two of you are off and into getting your tickets checked and your pat down going into the arena. Your heart rate increased as the excitement was starting to kick in. You felt it was kinda cool knowing Melo gave you the tickets and no one had an idea about it

“You want a snack?” Tristan asked.

“Hell yeah,” you reply. “I want some nachos.”

“Ol hungry ass,” he smacked his lips.

“Shut upppp,” you drag. “You got them for me? I’m about to go find our seats.”

“Noooo, wait for me,” he says.

“That’s what I thought,” you smirk.

You got your nachos and happily munched on some while you made your way down to your seats. You were both in awe at the atmosphere. The energy in the stadium was insane and the game was just about to start.

You looked around, taking in how many people were around you. It was definitely over a thousand. You took your phone out and snapped a couple of pictures. You happily ate your snack and sipped on your drink.

Court side seats were really only a couple rows ahead of you. You were very close.

The silence between Tristan and you was drowned out by the people around you chatting with one another. The crowd immediately was silenced when the lights shut off. Then suddenly the stadium was 10 times louder.

The players were introduced as they came running out. You watched as each one of them walked onto the court as you listened out for their names being listed.

When Melo’s name was announced, you yelled an inaudible cheer while lifting the drink you had in your hand up in the air before taking a sip.

They did their warm-up drills and soon began. The lights were back on and you could see clearly now. You watched intensely, as this was all so new to you.

“This is way too good,” Tristan exclaimed. “I love this.”

You looked at him and smiled then looked back on the court.

You could not help but keep your eyes on Melo the whole time. Besides the fact that he was really the only player you knew, he was also really good. You could immediately see how focused he was. It made getting into the game more interesting for you.

“Damn, I gotta use the bathroom,” Tristan states and you laugh.

“Already? You should’ve went before the game started, you’ll miss it.” you tease.

“I know I know, I’ll be right back,” he stated and gets up quickly, swiftly making his way past the other people’s knees in the row.

You sat by yourself now, still watching the game intensely. The refs called a foul, and the game stopped for a moment, Melo stood close to you and you felt your heart rate increase, wondering if he would see you or if he even knew where you guys were sitting.

You watch as his eyes go from the refs to finding you, a smile grew on his face as he noticed you then it quickly faded when he cocked a brow and nodded his head at you sitting alone.

“Bathroom,” you mouth the words and he nods his head and mouth the words “oh,” before quickly turning his attention back to the game.

It only took seconds after for about 3 people in front of you to turn their head to look back at Melo acknowledging you. You had to think fast, so you quickly turned your head to look back as well, acting as if you too were wondering who he was talking to in the crowd of hundreds behind you.

You turn your head back around and see everyone focused on the game again. You laugh to yourself, taking a bite from your nachos.

With your legs crossed now and eyes on the game, you keep your focus strong as the points start racking up.

You notice Melo acknowledge a player on the opposite team. He’s tall as well with similar features as Melo. You wonder if that is his brother. The two of them both appear on the big screen.

“We have a sibling rivalry here today, Lonzo and Melo Ball going head to head tonight. Let’s see who takes in the win.”

Well, that answers that.

Your removed from your thoughts when your boyfriend comes back, drink and hotdog in his hand. You watch as he settles in.

“Got hungry, what’d I miss?”

“Couple home runs were made, that’s about it,” you joked, horrible at that.

“You’re hilarious,” he rolls his eyes.

Your attention went back to the game. As it went on and on, you watched as Melo scored in a variety of different ways. Free throws, 3 pointers, and.. yeah that was about all you knew he was doing.

“Okay I need to learn more,” you nudge Tristan. So what about if they score inside or outside of the 3 point line?”

“There’s 2 pointer, three pointers and the free throw line, girl I thought you did you research?” He laughs and you feel the heat run to your cheeks.

“Look… I was busy,” you trail off thinking about how the only research you did was looking and Melo’s Instagram again. Then maybe it was a little bit of research.. just a lil bit.

He shakes his head with a smile and remains silent.

Watching Melo play quickly became your favorite thing. You could not help but notice the way his curls bounced when he ran, the way his arms flexed when he went for a shot, him smiling at his other teammates, the beads of sweat that began forming on his forehead.

“Hey, you alright?” Tristan asked, snapping you out of your daydreams.

“Yeah, why?” You yell back as the crowd roared.

“You look out of it,” he half grins with a look of concern on his face.

“Hell nah I’m having a great time, I can’t believe we’re here.”

“Me neither..” he trails off, looking up and around above him.

Nearing halftime, the arena started clearing up as everyone headed for the exits and you decided to take a bathroom break. The two girls in front of you in-line both wore Jerseys that had ‘Ball’ as the last name on the back. Both with the number 2, one being for Melo’s jersey and the other for Lonzo’s.

“…He looks extra fine today,” the girl in Lonzo’s jersey began before heading into the stall.

“Melo’s cuter!” The other one declared, crossing her arms over her chest. Clearly not caring who heard her, some of the other ladies washing their hands chuckled, and you felt yourself joining them with a giggle.

“I agree,” a girl whispered, walking passed her with a smirk on her face.

You brought your finger tips to your mouth, holding back the biggest grin and holding back from saying,

Me too.

•••

Nearing the end of the game, Tristan grew restless. Going on his phone looking at other scores from the other NBA games that were live at this moment.

“How you looking at other scores when there’s game right in front of you?” You asked.

“Just how it goes,” he shrugs.

“I guess,” you shrugged while flicking your hair over your shoulder.

The game was close but the Hornets took the win with a score of 112-110. You wished you could speak with Melo after the game and tell him how you really enjoyed your time and watching him play. You were feeling so alive afterwards. But of course he was busy doing NBA player things so you decided you would wait to text him later.

It was 11pm by the time you were able to get out of the stadium parking garage, you both settled on fast food since everything was closing by now.

“What do you want to eat?” Tristan asked.

“I guess McDonald’s is is our only option now,” you laugh.

He shrugs, “I guess that works.”

“Did you have fun?” He asked.

“Yeah, did you?” You say.

“Yeah, I’d love to another game soon,” he says.

“Me too,” you agreed.

He remained silent for the rest of the ride afterwards. While the two of you ate in his car he scrolled through his phone until it was time to take you back home.

When he dropped you off, he gave you a quick peck on the lips goodbye without saying much. You sensed his energy was off but you had no desire to question it. When he got into his quiet mood you just figured it was him needed alone time after a long day so you just respected it.

You made it up to your apartment, walking into the darkness and plopping yourself on your couch, you pulled out your phone.

You: Great game tonight. Heard some girls in the bathroom talking about you and your brother . One of them said Lonzo was cuter. I agreed with her 🤷‍♀️

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯:

🤣🤣🤣🤣

And thank you 🕺🏾🛸💕

But I know you lying 🤣🤣🤣

You: Not at all. I even told her.

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Nah nah nah 🤣🤣🤣

I’m the best looking Ball brother everybody know that

You: yeah?? Who’s everybody?

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: I might have to beat your ass camera girl🤣🤣

You: 🤣🤣 you wouldn’t

You got ready for bed even though you were still beaming with energy from the game.

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: You looked beautiful tonight.

You: Stoppp, you saw me?? When?? Thank you 😊

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: Maybe I did, you’re welcome 😊 thank you again for coming to the game. Let’s do another photoshoot soon.

Your heart rate increased with excitement, grateful as you were wondering if the two of you would work together again.

You: Just say the word! I’m more than happy to work around you. You know that.

You felt just an ounce of guilt rereading the conversation and realizing how flirty it came off. You gave your phone a rest for an hour or so while you tidied up before laying down for bed for the night.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: did y’all do anything after the game?

You: nothing crazy just went to get McDonald’s lmao.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: stop playing

You: I wish I was lmao

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: I would have taken you outtttt

I’m sorry im a lil drink rn

***drunk

If I was Tristan

You giggled at his text.

You: Drunk??!! Oooo LaMelo Ball I’m telling 😧

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Nooo please don’t

I’ll cash app you $100

Or Apple Pay

Please don’t tell my mama

You: Melo I’m kidding 🤣🤣

But I’ll take that $100

Jpjp💀💀

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯:

Apple Pay $100

You:

Apple Pay $100

Hell no Melo I was totally kidding

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Apple Pay $1000 Take itttt Oh shit I added and extra zero in there, oh well 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤪🤪🤣

You: Apple Pay $1000 Melo I’m deadass don’t 😂

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Apple Pay $1000 Don’t play with me I’ll send one million

You dial his number, slightly concerned with his antics.

“Heyyyy camera girl,” you hear him slur.

“Melo,” you blurted.

He does not respond but you hear music and chatter in the background and hear him greeting someone.

“Melo!” You say a little louder this time.

“Oh shit my bad, what’s up girl,” he says and his voice so relaxed you could not help but giggle.

“You don’t have to send me money. Seriously, I’m sorry for even joking about it,” you reply quickly.

His tone eased and sounding more concerned now.

“Oh Y/N why would you think you have to apologize for that? Seriously that’s my fault I was doing to much. I’m sorrry I’m kinda drinking right now-“

There goes that feeling when he said your name again.

“Well what’s drunk Melo up too?” You giggled.

“Hanging out with a couple of my dudes and some guys from the team…but hey I’m flying out of state tomorrow.. when you tryna do another shoot?”

We love a persistent man, you thought.

“Well, when do you get back?” You asked him while crossing your arms.

“Not until this upcoming Monday…” he trailed off.

“Well, you let me know what works best for you,” you say.

He pauses for a moment.

“You so cute,” he snickers.

“Melo!” You yell with a laugh and quickly bring your hand to your mouth. You felt the blood quickly rush to your face.

“You looked soooo good tonight, tell yo man Tris-“

Your eyes widened in pure fear.

“MELO!! Who you talking too-“ you heard a guy voice say right into your ear. Melo’s voice grew further before he could finish his statement. You assumed the guy the phone now.

“Oh hell-“ you start.

“Hello?” You heard the guys voice greet you calmly now.

“Umm, hi,” you reply shyly.

“Hey, don’t listen to him he’s had enough to drink. What’s your name sweetheart?” He asked.

“Depends who’s asking..?” You trail off.

“It’s Miles, look I’m sure you’re a sweet girl sorry for the troubles this young man is causing-“

“Give me my mufuckin’ phone-“ you hear Melo say and you can’t help but let out a another laugh. Oh how fun it seems it would to be hanging out with them right now.

“Hey camera girl you don’t have to tell him shit – I’m so sorry lemme call you back when I’m not faded- okay?”

“Camera girl?” You hear Miles voice question in the background.

“Don’t worry bout it,” Melo snaps at Miles.

“Okay,” you say while shaking your head. “Bye Melo,”

No way this shit was happening. Your phone vibrated immediately after the call ended.

Tristan 😊❤️ Good night darling 😊

“Nah I need a minute to take this shit in hold up,” you say out loud to yourself before you could even think about typing up a response to Tristan.

You walked out onto your patio and breathed in the fresh fall air. Admiring the view before laughing at yourself.

Life is a funny thing. Not even a month into living in your new apartment and your life was bringing you things you had never imagined would be happening to you.

______

Read Chapter 6 Here

#lamelo ball #rookie year lamelo ball fanfic #lamelo ball fanfics

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