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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

* * *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment.

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible.

Tsk, so much for gratitude

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stillgirlfrommars · 3 years

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you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess.

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

#samsteve #buckynat #endgame fix it #Sam Wilson #Steve Rogers #Skinny!Steve #I know it's stupid and cheesy but everything else in my life feels a bit too much at the moment so I needed something cute to think about #Seriously though if anyone wants to use this as a prompt to draw or write... please do

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h3art-n-s0ul · 3 years

Text

Apologies

Akaashi x Reader

(Please feel free to reblog and comment)

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Keiji is planning on proposing to you, but nothing seems to go to plan.

Content Warnings: Language, minor comedic sexual references

___________________________

Akaashi had been planning to propose to you for two months. Two very long months. Well he knew he was going to marry you about five minutes after meeting you. But technically, he bought the ring two months ago. He had it all perfectly planned out. In two days, he would propose in the place you two first met. He knew it was cliche but, the place you two met was slightly unconventional.

It was the parking lot in front of the local university library. He had actually gone in to talk to the administration and see if he could rent out the parking lot from them. The request was so odd, it took them a bit of time to respond. It actually worked out perfectly since they were closed this Saturday, so they agreed to let him rent it out for his intended purpose. The staff were quite confused as to why he would want that old parking lot until Akaashi explained. They hadn’t gotten enough funding to redo it in years so there were tens of potholes, cracks, and broken pieces of blacktop. The colored lines were fading so most people just guessed where to park. But that very parking lot was responsible for your meeting.

It was early spring, and there was still a chill in the air. Akaashi was running late to one of his classes and was weaving between vehicles in the parking lot to get to his car. You were busy walking towards the library with a book up to your nose. Multitasking you know? Akaashi didn't see you around one of the cars and obviously neither did you, too invested in your book. Like fate brought you together, you crashed into one another. You completely stumbled backwards, less than gracefully, sending your book flying. And fly it did, right into a muddy puddle.

“I am so sorry!” Akaashi bent down to help you up before retrieving your ruined book. He brushed off the cover and noticed the title.

“Shit, sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologized and he handed you the novel.

“No, no, it was totally my fault. I was in a rush. I’m so sorry about your book. I have to say you have great taste in fiction though.” Akaashi laughed lightly.

“Oh um thank you. Again, I am so sorry for running into you, well, I mean I'm not, but, uh-that was totally my bad. I’m sure you need to get going…” You turned to leave before he grabbed your wrist while he reached into his bag to pull out his wallet.

“Please allow me to pay for it.”

“No, really it’s fine. You don’t have to do that. Totally my fault. I'm sorry.”

Akaashi opened his wallet and groaned, “Ugh god I am so sorry I only have my card. Here.” He scribbled on the back of a receipt and handed it to you. “This is my phone number, text me your venmo and I’ll pay you back. I’m really in a rush right now, sorry.”

“No it’s fine really! Um what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Akaashi.”

“Great. I’m Y/n. Wish we could have met under better circumstances, but I’m glad we’ve met. I’d like to chat about your taste in books sometime.”

“Me too.”

Eventually, you texted him, but it had nothing to do with venmo. Instead you invited him out to coffee and you two just kept meeting. Akaashi felt bad each time that he hadn’t paid you back, but you reassured him it was fine and he could bring money next time. In actuality you were using it as an excuse for you two to keep meeting up. Until finally, neither of you needed an excuse to see each other. One thing led to another and two years passed. Now you and Akaashi were living together in perfect harmony.

Akaashi had contacted Bokuto before he bought the ring. Who better to consult about this than his best friend?

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO PROPOSE?!” Bokuto yelled into his receiver. “About fucking time. Okay hear me out, spell the question out in fireworks. She can’t say no!”

Akaashi chuckled. “Well I was thinking of going for something a little more private and personal. And I don’t even know if she’ll say yes yet.”

“Keiji are you kidding? There’s no way she can say no. You two are so perfect for each other!” Bokuto was so excited for his best friend.

“I don’t know about that first part. I just know she’s it for me. I’m just glad I know her pinterest username. I think I’m going to start there.”

“I admire your resourcefulness. Honestly, I bet you could pop the question in a garbage yard and she’d still say yes.”

Then it hit Akaashi and he knew exactly where he wanted to propose to you.

“Hey thanks for the ideas Ko. I have to go right now.”

“But you just called?”

“I have to run to the bookstore right away.”

It was perfect. He would set the open ring box on top of the book when he got down on one knee, finally paying off his debt to you.

All he had to do now was lie in wait. Just two days. He could do it. It took everything in him not to tell you already. He tucked the book into the back corner of his t-shirt drawer along with the ring. It forced a smile on his face every time he got ready in the morning.

“Hey Darling, I’m going to head out real quick to pick up the new air conditioner, okay?” Keiji yelled from the back bedroom.

“Yeah okay sounds good. Oh wait- can you get take-out? I’m kinda too lazy to make dinner.” You laughed and he walked into the living room where you were sitting. A book sat in your lap. Some things just never change.

“Yeah of course. Panda express?” Keiji smiled at you.

“Oh god I’m so in love with you.” You replied. Akaashi scoffed and leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“Okay I’ll be right back!” You heard the clatter of his keys and the shut of the door. Your eyes cast downward back to your page. About five minutes later you wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead. ‘God it is way too hot.’ You stood up and walked to your shared bedroom to change into something lighter. Unfortunately, your favorite t-shirt resided in Akaashi’s drawer. You pulled the drawer open in search of the thin, white shirt. You fingered through the various fabrics until they touched something hard and smooth.

“What- is..” You pulled the novel out and saw the title. ‘Why would ‘Kashi hide this…Fuck what if this was like a gift for me or something?’ You thought. You already felt bad before your eyes scanned back inside the drawer. A little black velvet box sat in the back right corner. Holy shit. Your hands were shaking as you slowly grabbed the object and opened it. A bright diamond ring stared back at you. Holy shit.

“H-he was going to propose?” Shock filled your body and you backpedaled to sit on the king bed. You couldn’t think.

‘Maybe the ring wasn’t his? What? No that’s stupid. Well maybe it’s not an engagement ring?’ Your eyes glanced back down at the ring.

‘Nope. Definitely an engagement ring. When was he planning on proposing? Sure you guys had talked about getting married before but- he was planning it this whole time? How long?’ And then the worst thought filled your mind. ‘Holy shit. What if he’s angry at me? I totally ruined the surprise! Maybe I can put it back and pretend I didn’t find it? No, I don’t wanna lie to him! Oh my god what if I start off our marriage with lies! He’d never forgive me! And then we’d have to get divorced in our 40’s! Oh god!’ Before you could pull yourself out of your thoughts, the front door opened.

“Hey love, I forgot my phone!” Panic settled in your body and your hands scrambled to shove the ring underneath the blankets.

“Darling?” Akaashi walked into the bedroom and saw you awkwardly sitting on the bed. He chuckled a bit, “Love? What’s going on? Why are you sitting like that?”

“Oh- me? What do you mean? I was just relaxing.” You tried to block his view from the book by sitting upright.

“Did you finish your book? Why are you all sweaty?” Keiji noticed the anxious aura around you.

“Um well you see-” Come on Y/n. Think of an excuse! Come on!

Keiji raised his eyebrow suspiciously and started to lean over to see behind you.

“MASTURBATING!” You squeaked out.

“What?” Keiji started laughing.

“ I was- um masturbating. That’s why I’m all sweaty. Sorry. God this is so embarrassing you should just leave!” You nervously winced. ‘I’m so fucking stupid.’ You internally facepalmed.

“Um okay. I’m sorry I uh I’ll just get going. Sorry babe.” He flushed red and awkwardly started to shuffle out of the room before seeing the open top drawer. Oh fuck. He immediately turned around to you and sighed. He hung his head low and asked, “You found it didn’t you?”

“KEIJI I SWEAR TO GOD I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO IT WAS JUST SO HOT AND YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE WEARING YOUR T-SHIRTS-” He collapsed into a heap on the floor and put his face in his hands.

“PLEASE ‘KASHI NO I AM SO SO SORRY PLEASE DON’T BE UPSET WITH ME YOUR SHIRTS JUST SMELL SO GOOD AND YOU KNOW WE DON’T HAVE AC! UM WE CAN PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED I MEAN I DIDN’T REALLY EVEN SEE MUCH-” You continued rambling before he got up and grabbed your hands. When you looked at his face he had tears in his eyes.

“OH GOD KEI I AM SO-”

“Why would I be upset with you, love?” Keiji smiled bitterly.

“Y-you’re not mad?”

“No, of course not. I’m mad at myself. I should’ve remembered you liked wearing my t-shirts.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “I guess this just isn’t really how I pictured this going. I’m so sorry.”

“No, Keiji, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.” You profusely apologized.

“Wow this really brings me back.” He smirked thinking of your first meeting. “So, I take it as a no?”

“What? WHAT? NO NO NO!” You frantically waved your hands in front of yourself. “IT’S A YES! YES! Keiji, I am so in love with you baby!” You grasped his cheeks in your hands and sniffled.

“Really?” His eyes widened.

“‘Kashi are you kidding? Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you! There’s no one else I want.” You reassured. Slowly he propped his right leg up and looked up at you while holding your hands.

“Darling...I’m so glad to hear that because I will never love anyone more than you. You’re all I want. Forever. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. Yes. Of course!” You buried your face into the crook of his neck and started bawling.

“And just so you know, I wasn’t planning on proposing in our bedroom. I was actually planning on proposing to you in a shitty parking lot.” Both of you laughed.

“Where we met?”

“Of course.”

“No, no, this was perfect too.” You grinned into his neck.

“I rented out the parking lot too.”

“You didn’t!” You shoved his shoulder in disbelief.

“I did. I was going to finally give you your book.”

“You’re such a romantic, Keiji.”

“And now your fiance.” Both of you couldn’t keep the smiles off your faces.

‘I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

BONUS:

“CONGRATS YOU GUYS!!!” Bokuto hugged both of you. “Akaashi I thought you rented the parking lot for Saturday though?”

“Yeahhhh...about that.” “She found the ring early.”

“Oh shit. Sorry man.” Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“No Ko, it was actually perfect. I don’t really care anyways. As long as we’re together.” You leaned into your boyfriend, fiance, future hubby.

“What did I tell you, Keiji?” Bokuto cawed.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So what are you doing with the parking lot then?” Ko asked.

“We’re having a panda express picnic date on Saturday.”

(A/n literally could not sleep. Just this on my brain at 2:30 am)

#🤍writes #pls reblog #akaashi keji x reader #hq akaashi #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keiji #haikyuu!!#haikyuu! x reader #haikyuu! fluff #fluff haikyuu #akaashi fluff #keiji fluff #akaashi imagine #akaashi fanfiction #reblogs

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heartofether · 3 years

Text

Bonus Episode #4 - Irene's Inauguration TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[INTRO MUSIC PLAYS FOR SOME TIME BEFORE FADING OUT.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE BREAK ROOM, MIDDAY, AROUND LUNCH.]

[IRENE IS SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE, WHILE ADEN IS LEANING OVER HER SHOULDER. THERE ARE VARIOUS OFFICE AMBIANCE NOISES HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

I don’t think I need your help setting it up, you know. I’m pretty sure I can figure out how to use an app.

ADEN

Sorry, sorry, I’m just—excited, you know? It feels like you’re about to take a big step, and I get to be the one to watch it happen.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] As if this is a major life milestone.

ADEN

Hey, I think it is! In a way. You know? It’s not common for someone your age to not be active on social media—

IRENE

Hey.

ADEN

Not that that’s a bad thing! You’re like, joining the masses though. It’s like an inauguration.

IRENE

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

ADEN

And, I’d also like to witness the outcome of my months of pestering you.

IRENE

Hey! I kept saying I was going to—

ADEN

So have you come up with a username yet?

IRENE

Um, not really? I’m guessing just irenegray is taken.

ADEN

Mmmm, probably. If it helps at all, I added a word to my username that I thought sounded nice. Kind of like, something cool and aesthetic, you know?

IRENE

See, that’s part of the problem. You actively have an aesthetic you’re trying to maintain. I’m just kind of, you know. [SHE VAGUELY MOTIONS.]

ADEN

Hey, I think that’s great that you're authentically yourself and you don’t adhere to any restrictive subcultures.

IRENE

If you wanna call it that… honestly though I just hadn’t thought about it. I mean, you know I’m mostly doing this for you, right?

ADEN

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just pick a word you like and pair it with your name to see if it sounds nice! Maybe, like, an adjective?

IRENE

Hm. [SHE THINKS FOR A MOMENT, THEN] I kind of like the idea of it being something forest-themed.

ADEN

That would be cute! What if you did, like, the name of a tree? [BEAT] Ooh! You could do something like cedarirene, as in red cedars, you like those, right?

IRENE

[THINKING] I kind of like that, they’re pretty… [beat]

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKE] Or you could do, like, irenefir, as in Douglas-fir? Those are pretty common in this part of the states.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES, THEN, HUMS IN THOUGHT.] Yeah, I’m not sure I’m going for the Christmas tree route today.

ADEN

Hey, if you end up deciding you don’t like it, you can always change it later.

IRENE

That’s a good point. [BEAT] But I think cedarirene is good.

ADEN

I like it, too.

[A PAUSE AS SHE TYPES.]

ADEN

Then just add your email and password—don’t worry, I’ll look away for this part… [KEEPS TRAILING ON AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT WHILE IRENE TYPES] Even though I’m fairly certain it’s the same login info you use for everything… which you should really work on by the way, you know that really isn’t the most secure—

[MORE PHONE TYPING.]

IRENE

Got it.

ADEN

Then you’re done!

[A BEAT.]

IRENE

What do I do now?

ADEN

Now, you get to customize your profile. You know, add your name, your bio, a profile picture—oh, actually hold on, give me your phone real quick.

IRENE

Why?

ADEN

I want you to follow me! Here, just let me search for my username.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Sure. Go wild.

[ADEN IS HEARD TYPING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ADEN

…and done. Oh, actually, while I’m here, I should have you follow Carol and Julia. [HE STARTS TYPING THEIR USERNAMES IN.]

IRENE

[IN SHOCK] Carol has Instagram?

ADEN

Uh, yeah.[beat] You seriously don’t understand just how behind you are, do you?

IRENE

[SHE GAPES IN FAUX-OFFENSE] You act like I’m withering away into a pile of dust just for not using social media.

ADEN

[GIGGLING] I’m kidding, Irene! I know lots of reasons why someone may want to go off the grid. I mean, social media can be kind of, er…

IRENE

A cruel and unjust place full of corporate marketing and unattainable standards?

ADEN

Yeah. Also, it can be kind of addicting for some people. So just, I mean I doubt you’ll have that problem since you don’t really seem to care, but just—be careful.

IRENE

Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll even use it that much.

ADEN

You better at least open the app every now and then. I want to send you stuff.

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] I’ll keep notifications on for you, bud… If nothing else.

ADEN

Right, so, back to your profile. I’ll let you do whatever you want for this part. Oh, you should put your pronouns in your bio, though.

IRENE

Got it. [A PAUSE, THEN] Uh, what else should I put?

ADEN

Anything you want, really. Some people like to put their age, their job, sexuality, a fun fact about themselves.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really want to share my entire personal life with the internet.

ADEN

Then don’t. Just put some totally random fun fact.

IRENE

Hm. Okay.

[A PAUSE AS IRENE TYPES.]

ADEN

Is that… did you actually drink three cups of coffee in less than one hour before?

IRENE

It was finals season.

ADEN

[CONCERNED] I can only drink one cup, and that still makes me shaky. Were you okay?

IRENE

Gonna be totally honest, I don’t remember a damn thing from those twenty-four hours.

[THERE’S A BRIEF PAUSE BEFORE THEY BOTH LAUGH FOR A FEW SECONDS.]

ADEN

[THROUGH FADING LAUGHTER] Okay, okay. Now you just need to set a profile pic.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really take selfies ever.

ADEN

It doesn’t have to be a photo of your face. Do you have any pets?

IRENE

Not unless my dead betta fish from three years ago counts.

ADEN

Hm, okay. Some people just make it a color they like, or if you just have a nice photo in your camera roll you want to use, you could do that. Some people use characters they like, art pieces, pictures of buildings, yada, yada, yada. Just pick something.

IRENE

Where do you get all of your info about Instagram accounts, anyways?

ADEN

Oh, it was actually my minor in college. “Aesthetically Pleasing Profiles 101.”

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

ADEN

I’m joking, of course. It’s just…I don’t know, the internet was kind of a safe space for me for a while? When I first moved to Daughtler, I didn’t have many friends, and my constant state of anxiety was far from helpful. Online, I could be myself and find people with similar interests way easier than I could around town, without ever having to worry about my weird real-life mannerisms that might drive people away.

IRENE

[SINCERE] That makes a lot of sense. It’s good to have support like that. I, uh, probably could have used something like that in college, honestly. I just got kind of used to isolating myself after a while, I guess. [A BEAT.] Though, if it helps at all, I think you’re pretty cool offline, too.

ADEN

Thanks, Irene. [A BEAT.] So, about your profile pic.

IRENE

Do you think Carol would mind if I made it a picture of Mothman?

ADEN

I— [HE GIGGLES.] You know what? I think she’d think it’s cute. Do it.

[IRENE GIGGLES. SHE SETS THE PROFILE PIC.]

ADEN

Welcome to the digital world, Irene Gray.

IRENE

Please, I’m not a grandpa. I know how the internet works.

ADEN

I know, I know. I’m excited to see what you post, though.

IRENE

[THINKING] I honestly hadn’t given it much thought. I guess we’ll find out… if I remember to.

ADEN

Don’t think about it too hard, alright? Just be your authentic self.

IRENE

I’ll certainly try my best.

[PHONE BEEP.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: "Love is a leash that goes both ways."

Becca De La Rosa in Mabel, Episode 36, 2019.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

#heart of ether transcripts

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m-lesmxrales · 4 years

Text

Less Than I Do

Modern AU

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: not really, some curses word? lol

Summary: After some time passes, you can’t shake your feelings for her. Even after going some time without speaking, you only want her to be happy in the end.

Words: 3.5k+

“What?!” You yell, your phone pressed to onto your ear, shoulder shrugged to support it, listening to your friend jabber on “I can’t really hear you!” The jingling of your keys and the booming music in the apartment next to yours drowning out their voice.

“I-“ you sigh, struggling to hold your grocery bags–only frustrating you further– while you twist your wrist, finally unlocking the door to your apartment, shoving it open with your foot.

Groaning, you drop the bags at your feet, closing the door behind you while your other hand takes hold of phone, finally letting your shoulder rest.

“Look, can you just– just text me, ok?” You sigh, slipping your shoes off as you mumble a bye.

The vibration from your phone catches your attention. Unlocking your phone, you click on the Instagram notification. A picture fills the screen, showing a group of college friends, your friends.

And there you stood, arms wrapped around her, the biggest smile on your faces. Her doll like eyes shining brighter than usual from the flash of the camera. It seemed like yesterday the two of you were in her apartment, seated on the couch under a blanket. Her body pressed into your side with popcorn in between the two of you, Mission Impossible playing.

Letting out a breath, your thumb hovers over the picture.

You could say you were questioning on whether or not it was worth liking.

Fuck it.

You double tap, a red heart briefly appearing.

The others tagged in the photo popping up along with it, including her.

Clicking on her username, your screen becomes filled with pictures of her. Plentiful of new ones, though that was to be expected considering the last time you looked through it was almost two years ago.

Two years.

It had been almost two years since she ended things with you.

—

“Can you-” You groan, shrugging Wanda’s hand from your shoulder.

A look of confusion fill her features “Can I what?”

“I don’t know- just, go do something with Nat.” You gesture towards the redhead sitting with Steve.

Her brows crease in, eyes roaming over you “What’s wrong, love?” Concern written in her eyes. She’d noticed in the last few weeks how pent up you’d been. All the emotions you were bottling up. All the offers to vent to her you had turned down recently. Everyone had noticed.

“Hey..” She soothes “Is there something you wanna talk about?” She asks, hands coming to cup your jaw.

You retract harshly “Holy shit, Wanda, No. No! I don’t, alright? Can you for once, for once” You yell “stop being so overbearing!?

Caring

“Do you to want talk about this, do you wanna do that?” You mock her “God, you can be so needy!”

Loving

“A-And you never once, think that maybe- just maybe I don’t wanna’ sit down and talk about my day? Or shitty my life can be compared to yours?” Your shouts now drawing in some attention, including your closet friends.

“So fucking selfish.” you hiss through your teeth.

Selfless

You don’t even noticing the hurt in her eyes. The way their glistening up the bar lights. How her jaw is so tense, enough to crack her teeth. You’ re too indulged in your anger to.

“You can be damn overly sensitive, you know that?” you finish, slamming your glass down against the bar counter with a huff.

It’s partially silent for a bit, some chitter chatter here and there.

Wanda swallows, eyes shifting to anyone but you.

Only able to nod, turning swiftly on her heel as tears begin to flow. Natasha hot on her tail, shooting you a glare just as she passes you.

And takes a moment for the situation to hit you. For what you’ve said, to hit you.

_“Shit.” _

The side of your hand collides with the door, fingers bunched into your palm, the bangs filling the building hallways. You were sure by now the neighbors were more than upset with the amount of noise you were making. Knocking for five minutes straight at two in the morning—despite it being a friday night and most of them being out, that didn’t mean the ones still home and in bed weren’t being disturbed.

“Wanda..” another knock on her door “Can we talk? Please?” You call out, desperation evident in your tone.

You’d messed up, that you knew.

The current event all caused by words; hurtful words, that should have never slipped through. And you regretted them the moment they spewed from your mouth.

Selfish, overbearing, overly sensitive, needy.

Those were some of the words you used to hurt her tonight. But you didn’t mean them. Yes, she may have said a few hurtful things back, it was all in retaliation to yours.

If anything all of this was a build up. A build up of frustrations, work, family, and plenty of other separate events out of your relationship. And holding all of it in just led to an outburst. One taken out on her.

Surely if the two of you hadn’t gone out tonight with your group of friends, just maybe, your words could have been said in a way that was, well, less insulting. It would have been nice to properly vent to her. You know she loves to listen to you babble. No matter the topic.

Yet, here you were. Still banging on her door. Wanting more than anything just to talk. Though, you couldn’t say the same for her.

Just as you hand comes to connect with door again, it shoots open. A glaring Wanda now replacing it, Nat lingering a few feet behind her. Your breathe hitches, mouth drying as you struggle to find your words.

“Wan-”

“If you really thought about me that way, you could have told me a long time ago.”

“Wanda, I’m so, so sorr-”

“Go home, Y/N” She sighs, closing the door.

Forehead coming to rest against the door, you mumble

“You’re the only way I’ll have it..”

—

“You know, Pietro’s extremely upset with you still.”

Silence, only the chatter and sound of utensils answer the blonde back.

“She misses you, you know?” Steve hums, stirring his coffee, blowing at the steam emitting from it.

Snorting, eyes on the table, you sip from the plastic cup in front of you, fiddling with the napkin underneath it.

She misses you.

Wanda misses you.

So believable, yet, so hard to believe.

“I doubt it, I’m sure she’s doing fine.” You mumble.

_Idiot. _

You know damn well how sensitive Wanda can be.

“If crying yourself to sleep almost every night is ‘fine’ then she must be doing great.” Steve frowns, throwing his crumbled up sugar packet at you. Cocking a brow, you flick the piece of paper, watching it fall to the ground. “It’s been- what four months?” He asks.

Five and a half, but he was close enough.

A broad hand grips your cup, pulling it away from you, the end of the straw retracting from the cup, bits of the liquid dripping onto the table. Taking the straw out from your mouth, your eyes finally meet his blue ones. A look of disappointment plastered on his features.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, she broke up with me..” you shrug, punching the straw back through the lid.

“I thought you two were taking a break?”

Shaking your head, you ease your drink back towards yourself “She called it quits last month..”

A groan leaves his lips, palms running down his face “So, that’s it?” He starts “Ten years of friendship and four years of dating- just gone, down the drain..” his index finger landing on the table.

“I mean, you guys were in love with each other.” he huffs, slumping back in his seat “You still are in love with each other.

Steve had a point.

You and Wanda had crossed paths the first day of senior year in highschool, hitting it off right then and there. And that same day she had introduced you her brother and best friends. From then on, everyone had been inseparable. The two of you were inseparable.

It was something you wouldn’t trade for the world.

Even when most of you had attended different colleges and universities. Even when you and Wanda had started dating your senior year of college. When careers began to advance, when lives became busier.

Somehow, someway, nothing changed.

Your love for one another was unwavering.

However, after that night, five months ago you broke the balance.

“I think you should talk to her, Y/N. It possible things could be different this time.”

“Yeah..” you murmur, lips wrapping around the top of the straw.

Things could change.

But, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d need to change this time.

—

A year had passed.

A painfully slow year at that. And your feelings for Wanda hadn’t died out.

But you’d heard she had slowly been grown out of her funk, taking the time to go out more. Some of these outings you weren’t invited to and the ones you were, you declined.

Not that you were avoiding her. It was more like avoiding further heartache.

If anything you missed her and the pictures in your apartment weren’t helping. So, you took upon yourself to do some spring cleaning, in hopes that if the pictures were out of sight then the process of healing would officially start.

Rummaging through your closest, looking for a shoe box, the sight of a light denim jacket in the corner on the floor catching your attention.

It couldn’t have been yours, yours was already hung up, not to mention slightly darker in color.

Reaching for it, you pick it up, holding it out in front of you, examining the front. Walking over to your bed, you flip it over laying it on its front.

Your gaze softens, the corner of your lip perking. You hadn’t seen this jacket in a while. That design in a while. A chuckle emits from your throat, hand swiping at pieces of lint—you should probably wash it.

It’s Wanda’s favorite jacket. At least, you think it still is.

You can only imagine the pout on her lips, remembering that she must have forgotten it at your place and how she was properly too stubborn to reach out to you to get it back.

Or, maybe she didn’t care about it after a while.

Smile fading, you swipe through your phone, opening your Instagram dm’s, opening hers—glad your old conversation was long gone.

Thumbs moving across the screen, pass hitting letters.

Send.

—

“I still have your denim jacket, the one with the Madonna graphic on the back.”

That was the last message you sent. The last message she actually read in almost a year and a half. All the others from previous dm’s had been ignored.

Unfortunately, she never came to pick it up. But, Natasha did.

“You know she was sitting on my couch, pouting, when she realized she forgot her jacket here when she came to get some of her things?” The redhead snickers.

Figures.

“Yeah, that sounds like her.” You smirk.

Inhaling, you slowly hand the jacket over to Natasha, thumbs grazing over the Madonna graphic “She didn’t wanna come and pick it up herself?” You ask, brows creasing in.

“She has work, so..” Natasha shrugs, placing the jacket over her forearm.

Humming, eyes still on the jacket, you nod “Right, yeah- no..work.”

The redhead rolls her eyes, arms slumping to her side “Y/N, come on. You two already agreed to be friends, you both talk every now and then in the group chat. What’s the problem?” She sighs “It’s different, going out without you..”

“You haven’t shown up to any of Tony’s parties. You don’t even want to go bowling with all of us anymore.” She continues.

“Why are you avoiding us?”

Silence, that’s all fills the apartment.

Not knowing what to say, how to explain yourself; you shrug. You had no reason to avoid them.

Of course, you wanted to hang out with all of them. You wanted nothing more.

You two had mutually agreed to be close friends again. Yet, you still were struggling.

“You guys were her friends first..her family first, so.” Clearing your throat, you look up, catching Natasha’s eyes.

Their soft, as if she’s in deep thought.

“We miss you, Y/N.”

“Wanda misses you.”

Translation ;

She’s still in love with you

—

Still looking through the mounds of new photos, you catch site of her next to a taller, slightly older, blond man.

And you can’t help the feeling that overlaps your heart, as if someone tied a rope around it with an anchor attached, letting it sink.

Exhaling, you move to her dm’s.

Previous messages you sent filling the screen.

‘I said some things I wish I hadn’t, I’m so sorry.” seen

‘Can we please talk about it?’ seen

‘I’ll change this time.’ seen

‘I hope you feel blue, less than I do.’

Seen.

That was a couple months ago, after a night out with Tony and Pepper, including just enough drinks to get you tipsy and in your feelings. Feelings you’d restricted for too long.

It was stupid. An in the moment decision.

Cringing, you go to swipe out of the chat.

“…”

She’s typing.

_Why the hell is she tying? Why now? _

Is she going to tell you to ‘fuck off’?

Or did she mistakenly open your dm’s, thinking it was someone else’s?

A message pops up.

“Are you coming to movie night at Tony’s?”

The creases in your forehead deepened, your head tilting to the side “Movie night?”

And it hits you.

You completely forgot you promised to show up for once.

And Tony hadn’t stopped inviting you to movie night, none of them had. But you couldn’t bring yourself to go, even if she hadn’t always shown up.

Only after Tony’s constant texts, emails and calls, but who really got you to agree was Pepper.

You could never say no to Pepper

“Oh shit-” You grumble, running into your room “Movie night!”

—

Stepping into his home after all these months, it was nauseating to be frank. It was you like a truck. The exterior hasn’t changed but the interior had somewhat.

You let her guide you into the living room.

“Come on, everyone’s waiting for you.” Pepper smiles, looping her arm around your shoulder as she pulls you into her side, her other hand rubbing soothing circles against the shoulder closest to her body.

There’s a pregnancy in the room. Heads turn. All eyes now on you, and you can’t help but notice how their faces light up—damn, did you miss the way they’d smile when they looked at you.

A body rushes into, arms wrapping around your mid as they pick you up, arms tightening. The scent of their cologne hitting you.

Woody with kicks of spice.

Pietro.

You hear chuckles, mainly Pietro’s. His laughter reminding you of a toddlers first time going down a slide.

Enveloping your arms around him, you pat his back, a chuckle growing in your chest.

You feel a vibration against your shoulder as he sets you down, arms still tightly wrapped around you “What?” You ask, retracting your head “I said-“ he lifts his head from your shoulder, arms loosening as he takes a step back, “I’m still mad at you.” Arms coming to fold over his chest, a stern look on his face.

You can’t help but smile. You were never able to take him seriously half of the time.

Your palm connecting with his forehead, shoving it back “Missed you too.” You hum.

He holding back a smile, the ends of his lips tucked in “Me too.” He grumbles, arm wrapping around your shoulders, moving you towards the rest.

“I’m still very, very upset with you too.” Sam snickers, a smile plastered on his face as he stands up, pulling you into a warm hug, the others coming to join in.

Tony clasps his hands together “Alright, enough all of the sappy-sappy stuff.” He says “Y/N, since you’re late, you can help make the snacks with Wanda.”

“Fair enough.” You sigh, looking over towards the kitchen, catching site of her figure leaning against the counter, a tall, older blonde man close by.

Her mint green eyes softening at the sight of you, a small smile forming.

“You know how to use a popcorn maker, right?” He asks, brow cocked.

“I- Sure?”

—

You watch idly watch as the popcorn gradually flies out of the metal tin. One pop at a time.

The sound of hard candy being poured into a bowl pulling you from your thoughts. Turning around, you see Wanda retracting the bag, placing it back on the counter.

“So..” you begin, walking towards the kitchen isle “How’s everything?” Taking a seat on the stool.

Wanda hums, a grin growing “You mean how I’m doing?” Popping a skittle in her, she leans forward, finally looking at you “Really good. I started yoga classes a few days ago and works great, for once.” She giggles.

You chuckle softly, a warmth growing in your chest at the sound of her laughter. Content that even though things hadn’t ended well between you two, your dynamic hadn’t faltered. That she still feels comfortable around you. But, you two were close friends before anything else, it was only to be expected.

“What about you?”

“I got a new job, finally. Don’t have to work in drama filled work place anymore.” You voice, cracking a smile “Also, the pay is ten times better.” nodding your vision falls to the colorful candy. That place was always a hell hole.

“What? Are you serious?!” A voice squeals

You feel arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close “That’s amazing, Y/N.” Wanda hums. Your arms instinctively wrapping around her mid.

She pulls away slowly “I’m so happy for you.” She coos “Thank you, I’m just glad to be out of there. No more stress- well, excuse, extra stress, no more being pulled into drama. It’s fantastic.” A look of bliss setting in.

“I know, I can only imagine.” She snickers, pulling out the stool next to you before sliding the bowl of candy.

The two of you idly watch your friends, taking in their presence as a whole.

“I’m sorry, about what happened, Wanda. I didn’t mean anything I said that night. I was a complete and utter asshole-” You pause “I’m really, really sorry..”

“I know, considering the long apology you sent me and the mountains of texts.” She says, cocking a brow at you ‘I know, Y/N, If you couldn’t tell, I forgive you.” she assures you, her palm coming to rest on your forearm. You nod, a small smile forming.

“So” you drag “are you and-“

“No.” She cuts you off “We’re friends..” she notes “Are you and-“

A wave a relief seemingly washes over you. Not that you wouldn’t be happy if she had already moved, but, content that she hadn’t as so much jumped to the next person. Knowing that all those years spent together weren’t tossed in the trash.

“Carol?” You interrupt, snorting “No, she’s taken.”

Wanda hums, continuing to munch on the candy. Exhaling, you stand up “Alright, let’s get these snacks rolling.”

—

The sound of car tires screeching, bangs and explosions blast through the surround sound speaker. Everyone’s gathered on the couches, couples squeezed together, sharing snacks with another.

Leaning against the armrest of the couch, hand reaching into a shared bowl of popcorn resting on your lap.

You feel Wanda shift next to you. The temptation to curl into something getting the best of her, especially sitting next to you. Someone. She’d always been a cuddler when it came to movies. Usually it was and you could tell she was opting into using Pietro as a pillow.

“Fuck it.” you grumble.

Moving the popcorn to the side, you hook your hands under her knees, laying them over your lap. Pulling her body into yours, arm coming to hook around her shoulders out of habit.

You can feel her tense up, shifting slightly as she adjusts her upper body. Placing the bowl of popcorn onto her lap.

Wanda leans her head on your shoulder, creating a new nesting spot in your side “Thanks..” she whispers, going back to enjoy the action movie,

The brunette clears her throat after a beat “Can I ask you something?”

“Always”

“Did you mean what you said? You know, about me feeling blue..” she asks, snorting a bit as weird the question sounded.

“Of course.”

The last you wanted when it came to Wanda was to see her suffer. Physically or mentally. You had always hoped she was able to see that, dating or not.

Another beat.

“Been a while since we watched Mission Impossible together.” she adds.

“You mean, like this?”

“Yeah..like this..”

“Yeah” You breathe “too long..” ends of your lips curling.

If there was one thing you knew, it was You/d trade feeling blue over never seeing her crack a smile ever again, in a split second. Even if that meant in the end, you’d receive all the hardships, heartaches, bear her burdens.

In the end, you only hope she feels blue, less than you do.

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years

Text

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight), Bakugo Katsuki/Kaminari Denki/Kirishima Eijiro, Iida Tenya/Monoma Neito/ Aoyama Yuuga

Word Count: 1,529 Words

Summary: Hitoshi goes home, an Aizawa-Yamada fashion show happens, the Todoroki-Yukimura family is having issues, and the Provisional Licensing Exam happens.

Warnings: Injury Mention, Food Mention, Cursing, Fire Mention, Trauma Mention, Arranged Marriage Mention, Caps, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Notes: Yes, I know they met The Big 3 already, but I'm rearranging and Aizawa introduced 1-A to The Big 3 before the Provisional Licensing Exam because he wanted to inspire them to achieve their best in the exam, even the L.O.V. kids. Also, the fight between Midoriya and Bakugou never happened.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

Shopping, Licenses, and Interships-Chapter 7

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

exhausted: I'm goin home today bitches! they're finally releasing back upon this pitiful world after a week!

Dadzawa: and he's getting transferred to 1a today too.

chaoticgaydisaster: do you remember who did this, Hitoshi?

exhausted: no, I wish I did, but I don't. I only get flashes. My head got hit too hard I guess but I don't remember what happened well enough to know who did it.

exhausted: can we talk about literally anything else?

WHERE?: kay. how bout, do you want to go to the store with me and Touya later? we're getting our foods for the week. we can pick you up some stuff too.

exhausted: coolio. I need to pick up some stuff.

WHERE?: tell me a list so you don't forget anything, Hito. me and Tou always write our lists down, we'll write your stuff down too.

exhausted: kay. so I need rice, eggs, onions, scallions, tsuyu sauce, beef, chicken, shrimp, and pork for my lunches and you can bet your ass I'm picking up at least two other meal things but I haven't decided yet because the rest are dinners and I need my Mom's input.

Dadzawa: today's dinner is takoyaki and gyoza, tomorrow is your choice, Tuesday is oden and tempura, Wednesday me and your Dad need to agree on, Thursday is yakisoba-pan and ramen, Friday is your choice again, and Saturday is soba and curry bread.

exhausted: Eri already picked her two dinners?

stardust: yup!

exhausted: I'd have to say Monday is soba and yakitori and Friday is okonomiyaki and korokke.

Dadzawa: News from your Dad, Wednesday will be katsudon and onigiri.

stardust: WOOHOO!

exhausted: Yayy!

exhausted: let's go shopping, bitches.

WHERE?: Woo! Shopping day!

chaoticgaydisaster: We're going to the mall also btw.

exhausted: good, I need to get more clothes, half of mine are gone because of M****a.

WHERE?: time to spend my dad's money on nice clothes for my best friend.

exhausted: I love you, dude.

WHERE?: Love you too, Hito, now, let's go shopping.

2:46 PM

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: Ah, that's where my son went today.

exhausted: it was fun, I got new sports bras.

Dadzawa: finally, we can burn the ones that are so old they're falling apart.

exhausted: they were spares!

Dadzawa: still burning them. love you, kid.

exhausted: hey, wait for me. I wanna burn them too!

3:17 PM

Izukrew

SmolMight: Is anyone else really concerned about Hitoshi? I mean, he got attacked and he won't say anything about it.

WHERE?: Izuku, I'm concerned, but it's none of our business.

SmolMight: You know what happened, don't you?

WHERE?: I may as well. But I'm not at liberty to say and Hitoshi doesn't need this right now. He went through something traumatic and I won't have you dredging it up again yet. He deserves to have more than a week to recover.

SmolMight: He'll be fine though, right?

WHERE?: He'll be okay. He's got all his friends and we'll help him no matter what happens.

SmolMight: We'll be the best damn friends to him ever!

4:41 PM

We Are Number One™

tailfloof: what's with the radio silence from all the former L.O.V.?

Emergency Exit: Kai had an allergic reaction so Tenko and Hari are with him in the ER. Atsuhiro had a meltdown and Touya is with him, Jin got hurt during a training drill yesterday and is being healed by Recovery Girl still, Himiko and Eri are at the their doctor today, Tami is working on changing her name legally today, and Shuichi is accompanying Tami.

tailfloof: Thank you inspector Iida for this enlightening information.

6:52 PM

We Are Number One™

exhausted: Mom, fashion show. I got new clothes.

Dadzawa: I know, I'm waiting in my room, Toshi. so is your Dad, Eri, and Ayane.

exhausted: Hells yeah! Family fashion show. I got a bunch of leggings.

Dadzawa: you can't just wear leggings, Toshi.

exhausted: And yet I do.

Dadzawa: you are an insufferable little gremlin child and you're lucky that I love you.

exhausted: That's the point.

8:39 PM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

lapis: So how are the girls?

vulpix: All are good, they went to the store with us for food shopping.

wine: all happy.

thermostat: Good, I was worried because we haven't seen any of you in a week.

vulpix: yup. How are things back home?

thermostat: Well, it's okay. Nothing's changed much.

wine: what happened?

thermostat: Dad's setting me up for an arranged marriage now.

lapis: time to come home and beat our father's head in.

thermostat: Please don't, I don't want any of you going to jail over this.

wine: fine, but only because I respect your choices. but I will intervene if shit goes down.

vulpix: How are you okay with this?

thermostat: I'm not, but I don't want my brothers getting in trouble for me and me having to visit you idiots in a prison instead of at a school.

vulpix: As long as you know you can come to us if anything. And I mean ANYTHING happens to hurt you.

thermostat: I will, don't worry. And I'm taking care of the girls tomorrow because of you two's exam so I'll take them to school for you boys.

8:16 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: WHO'S READY FOR THIS LICENSING EXAM!???!!!!

Cthulhu: literally everyone???

spookyscaryskeletons: Good luck, you guys!

princessbubblegumknockoff: good luck yot you guys too! have fun at y'all's exam!

exhausted: Have fun you guys!

Dadzawa: Child, you fill M****a's place. You're going to take the exam today with 1-A.

exhausted: Gimme a minute. Just a minor heart attack.

exhausted: WHAT THE FUCK!? I'm not ready! Mom, you gotta pull me from it! I can't do this!

donthugmeimscared: And all of us LOVs started at UA less than a month ago! You can't expect us to be able to pass!

Dadzawa: I'm sure you'll all be fine. I have faith in you. Now get on the bus, I'll be down with my son's present in a few minutes.

8:25 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: Todoroki is asleep again. Both of the twins are.

EdgarAllanCrows: what have I done to deserve such adorable goth best friends?

shadowclonejutsu: And I thought one twin was cute, turns out both are.

lostmymarbles: Firstly, they're IDENTICAL twins. Secondly, don't you hit on my man, Jin, or you'll lose an arm.

shadowclonejutsu: Alright, alright. Not flirting, just saying. I'm with Iggi.

eye gucci: Dam straight.

shadowclonejutsu: *Dam gay.

eye gucci: You right tho.

4:17 PM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: I can't believe we failed.

WHAT?: It wasn't even my fault! I was a nice bastard! I didn't scare them, they're just wimps!

chaoticgaydisaster: I can't believe I need to retake that.

idontfeelsogood: I only failed because of a technicality, why are you all complaing!

Akimichi: What technicality?

idontfeelsogood: I may have blown up the rock beneath me by accident because I got startled by Gang Orca showing up and hurt one of the fake civilians a little bit...?

stopwatch: Darling.

idontfeelsogood: And then I broke my left knee and sprained my right from falling and couldn't continue to compete.

stopwatch: There we go. The fake civilians said they weren't mad, they know they startled you and it was fine, but you hurt yourself and couldn't continue so you had to be disqualified to prevent you from injuring yourself even more.

idontfeelsogood: I woulda been better as a villain. I can't even save someone without something going wrong.

Dadzawa: I already told you that you all can retake the exam soon so there's no harm done. And your legs should heal up by the time of the next exam, Tenko, don't worry. You are not better off as a villain, you do have good in you, I can see it. You're doing your best, keep doing it, and we'll all be here for you when you aren't able to.

idontfeelsogood: Hang on, I'm gonna cry really quick.

stopwatch: I am hugging my boyfriend as we speak!

donthugmeimscared: As am I!

HopeSummers: Only me and Himi failed from our class, didn't have enough power to get through it all.

Iron Man: we're all proud of you both for trying your hardest, though!

mystique: And we all appreciate your support, guys.

9:14 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: 3 of the Big Six!

mylittlepony: The other three from the Big Six are here!

cena: INTERNSHIPS!

donthugmeimscared: Great, another thing that none of us are gonna be able to do because no agency in their right mind would ever want us.

Dadzawa: I've already matched you all to agencies that would love to have you there. It's tapes to your dorm doors. Have fun picking, children. And Toshi, you're in my agency with Light Splitter and Biolumina and all of the like.

exhausted: I love my Mom. Have I ever told you all how much I love my Mom? Because it's a lot. And entire fucking lot.

Dadzawa: yes, you have. you brag your Mom is the best ever a lot. you've done it since you were about two.

exhausted: And my point still stands thirteen years later. Must be a winning arguement.

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #snoweywrites #the bnha group chat fic nobody asked for #league of misfit heroes au #tw injury mention #tw food mention #tw cursing #tw fire mention #tw trauma mention #tw arranged marriage mention #tw caps

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nev3rfound · 5 years

Text

the swan : chp.12 - I told you, doll

nurse, friend, lover, assassin. these are the titles you were known under in his head, something he never wished to share until rumours spread of the swan being out of retirement.

overview / chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four / chapter five / chapter six / chapter seven / chapter eight / chapter nine / chapter ten / chapter eleven / chapter twelve (final chapter)

* masterlistin’

** permanent taglist **

okay i don’t know if anyone is still reading this series, but this is the ending I have finally taken the time to write. I started this series 8 months ago - eight whole months ago in which i planned on writing weekly chapters which did not happen. my mind never comprehended how much support or excitement would revolve around a small idea I had, but thank you for reading and being patient. thank you for exploring the story of the swan and my interpretations of bucky as the winter soldier and all of this.

Bucky struggles to stop his leg from bouncing as he pushes his short hair back. He knew everything had changed, things he hadn’t anticipated occurring in such a short time since you were in recovery. He had witnessed his best friend disappear before his very eyes and return as an old man in a blink of an eye. He had feared that after getting you back, he had lost you forever.

But here he was, flying over Wakanda and close to landing.

“You ready for this?” Sam speaks up as he rises to his feet, passing Bucky and standing by a small circular window, looking out at the place he briefly remembers.

The words hover on Bucky’s lips as he feels the descent. It had been less than twenty-four hours since T’Challa had been in touch to inform him you were awake. How after six long years, you were only Y/n, no longer cowering from the Swan.

“I’m nervous,” Bucky admits as he shuts his eyes, not wanting to see the surprise he knows is expected on Sam’s expression.

Sam shuffles and takes the spot beside Bucky, leaning back in the small chair as he sighs quietly. “Are you nervous she won’t be what you’re expecting?” Sam questions, watching as Bucky lifts his head up and meets Sam’s eyes.

No one can deny there is a wave of insecurity crossing in the blue of Bucky’s eyes, how these doubts have played on his mind since Steve returned as an old man. During the moment he had with his oldest friend, Bucky listened to Steve explain the life of regret he could’ve lived. All Steve wanted was Bucky to be happy and to no longer live that life.

“She won’t remember any of it. What it was like in there besides me.” Bucky states, having recalled the words T’Challa told him.

You’ll remember being with Bucky, the person he is and who he is to you. But your memories of HYDRA will be a blur, never quite in focus long enough for you to remember specific details. Bucky is silently thankful you won’t remember the pain they caused you, what he witnessed you endure before you were taken from him.

“Y/n will be able to start afresh, Buck.” Sam tells him as he pats his back. “That’s what she needs, right?”

Bucky slowly nods, knowing it’s true. You’ve needed a fresh start for decades, over seventy years of being preserved as a weapon. Now is your chance to live as the girl Bucky fell for. The nurse with the heart of gold who saw past the rough exterior of their Soldat.

“It’s all she’s wanted,” Bucky states quietly as his body jolts forward on the impact of landing.

His eyes glance up to Sam’s who simply nods as he rises to his feet. “Let’s go get your girl, Barnes.” He says with a soft smile, watching the corners of Bucky’s mouth rise ever so slightly as his heart remains lodged in his throat.

Departing from the Quinjet, Bucky can’t help but take in all of the surroundings. This was a place he sought refuge all those years ago, somewhere that can heal even those beyond lost.

“Some things never change,” Bucky mutters under his breath as he notices the children playing in the fields as the goats stand idly, chewing grass.

“Barnes, Wilson.” T’Challa walks out, a bright smile on his face as he shakes their hands. “It’s good to see you in better circumstances.” He nods to them both, watching as Bucky shifts on the spot, his eyes roaming around.

“Is Y/n around?” Sam questions, catching Bucky’s attention as T’Challa nods.

Before T’Challa is able to respond, Bucky’s ears perk up at the sound of laughter, a ghostly echo of something he once loved.

Feeling goosebumps rise across his forearms, Bucky turns away from the others and faces the fields of children. His eyes scan across them until he spots a taller woman, her hair flowing down her back as she holds the hem of her dress.

Laughter escapes her lips as she runs carefree, no longer determined or enforced to run.

“Y/n?” Bucky whispers to himself, feeling his heart swell out of his boundaries that he’s tied it to all these years.

You pause in the middle of the field, high fiving some of the children as you rub your hands across your dress. “Alright kids, you got me this time.” You chuckle through a heavy pant as all the kids cheer themselves on.

“Who’s that?” One child speaks up, pointing over to the two unfamiliar men.

Following their gaze, you hesitate.

Your feet remain planted whilst you’re mentally in his arms, refusing to let him go.

“Y/n?” Another child questions, tugging your dress as a stray tear slips from your left eye, quickly being brushed away before anyone else notices, but Bucky notices - he always has.

“Go get her, Buck.” Sam nudges Bucky, watching as the pair of you remain planted firmly where you are. “Have your moment.”

Nodding to Sam, Bucky begins to force his legs to move forward.

For the first time he’s not being held back, he’s not watching and screaming as you’re tortured, tormented and tricked. You’re free like him at last, and the tie between the two of you is no longer being cut apart.

Before you realise it you’re running. You can feel tears building in your eyes as your vision blurs, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re free, you can see him, the James you remember from all those years ago.

In his head, Bucky has envisioned this moment for years. Every time he thought about it, something different happened. Various outcomes played on his mind, but none of them went like this. For years he’s prepared to see you again, but now that it’s happening he is utterly clueless.

As the gap between you both decreases, all you can hear is the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You can see his smile growing, the blue in his eyes that you could get lost in.

And then his arms are wrapping themselves around you, holding you close as you’re lifted from the ground. He twirls you in his arms, laughing in hysterics as you hold him tightly not wanting to ever let go.

Sam watches along T’Challa and Shuri, all of them having played vital roles in making this a possibility.

“Do you think she’ll finally be happy?” Shuri questions, glancing up to her brother who nods shortly.

T’Challa focuses on the scene before him, watching as Bucky lowers you back to the ground as his hands rest on your cheeks. No words can be heard between you, but whatever it is that Bucky is telling you it’s enough for you to cry in his arms.

“I think this is the fresh start she deserves,” T’Challa answers before he wraps his arm around Shuri, dragging her away allowing you a moment without observing eyes.

Wiping your eyes, Bucky shushes you. “I’m sorry,” You mutter as you look up at him, seeing the concern lining his gaze. “I can’t believe it, after everything you, you waited this long for me?”

“Of course, doll.” Bucky tells you clearly, wanting to make sure you understand at last. “I’ll always find you, Y/n. No matter where or when, what era we’re living in. I promised I’d get us out, didn’t I?” He chuckles as you rise on your tiptoes, kissing him softly.

Your kiss is something you’ve both longed for, a private connection between you both. Bucky lowers his hands to your waist, pulling you closer whilst you bury your fingers into his shorter hair.

As you both pull away, you rest your head on his chest. “Is this what you envisioned, James?” You question as Bucky looks around. “A house in the country, three dogs and two kids?”

Bucky smiles down at you as you look back up at him, something he’ll never tire of seeing from now on.

“It’s better than I could’ve dreamt, doll.” Bucky mutters to you as you smile to yourself, finally having found your home after years of torment, you’re finally at peace.

taglist (thank you for the endless support on this series) - if your username has a cross through it means it wouldn’t tag!

@callie-bear15 @vgirl10123 @markusstraya @krystallynx @toxic-pineapple @not-jarred-padaleki@tearsforhan@worldofchoices@hungrymango @puppetofyourdreams @alisa-m-a @musingsofafangirlblog@alecswcrlock@mywinterwolf@galacticstxrdust@jamesvaldezzzz @letmereid @i-lost-my-shoe-down-a-drain @bluediamondsevie@i-just-wanna-run-hell@ispepeagain @sebastianstan-news @bananzaa @willowbowie @smileyishere92 @kxttykatmichael @florencxs @redryderdesigns

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carbootsoul · 4 years

Text

i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters.

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started: - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

#leo.txt #thank u!! i think i wrote a lot for this lol #but literally ive been so bored i don't have anything better to do

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porkchop-ao3 · 4 years

Text

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 44)

Saint Denis Times Tribune

This chapter might be a little sad for some of you, Hosea gets laid to rest. Then we read something disturbing in the newspaper that threatens to throw reader into despair.

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

Digging a hole in the ground in a quiet spot outside Bluewater Marsh with Reverend Swanson brought back a few unpleasant memories. My brother and I had done it twice over not far from our very spot years ago, hammered two crosses into the ground, said a few words. This time it was for Hosea. We'd picked the spot with the small gathering of people who had decided to come, most of the gang was present, aside from the obvious missing folk, some who had volunteered to stay back at camp to protect it, and a few who admitted they couldn't handle being there. Charles and Abigail were in Saint Denis, retrieving Hosea's body from the mortuary. We wanted to give him a burial that meant something, not what the state would've provided; probably an unmarked grave somewhere we'd never find out about. If it meant turning to crime, breaking in to give Hosea what he deserved, we'd do it.

It had been Abigail's suggestion. She was taking it hard; Hosea, I realised, was a father to her just as much as he was to Arthur. Tilly, as well, she had been withdrawn and quiet since we'd found out, and she was nearby picking flowers to lay.

When the grave was prepared, the group stood around it and waited wordlessly. The mood was solemn and painful, the air unnaturally still, quiet. It was a short while before hoof beats and the rattle and creak of wagon wheels on uneven terrain sounded Abigail and Charles' return. Hosea was in the back, a white sheet blanketing him. As soon as I laid eyes on him, I felt my throat grow tight with the urge to cry. I held back, knowing I had far less reason to shed a tear than any of the people around me.

I averted my eyes when Charles and Swanson worked together to lift the body, carried it over and carefully lowered it into the grave. Abigail joined me and Tilly, sliding in between us and taking Tilly's hand, then mine. I gave hers a silent squeeze of support.

They adjusted the blanket, made sure he was carefully covered and comfortably positioned in his final resting place. Then Charles stepped back, stopping beside me. Everyone gathered in a circle around the grave, pressed shoulder to shoulder, Swanson standing at the head; he retrieved a Bible from inside his coat.

"It's been a difficult few weeks," Swanson began, "it's never easy, losing a comrade. But I think all of us can agree Hosea was far more than that. He was a friend. A saviour. And to many of you, I know he was more a father. He was certainly the voice of reason and goodness among us."

Heads nodded. Shaky breaths could be heard and I didn't dare look up to see who was crying, I knew I would join them.

"I'd like to read a few words from my Bible, if that's okay?" He continued, and when nobody protested, he took a breath and looked down at Hosea. "But first, would anyone else like to say anything?"

Abigail let go of my hand to raise hers in the air, and all eyes turned to her.

"He really was like a father, weren't he?" She said, a ray of happiness in her choked up tone, "I always felt that. When the gang took me in I– Hosea always looked out for me. He was so kind to me, to everybody. It hurts so much that all those people see when they look at us is monsters, and they can just do this– I wish I'd done more that day to try and– I can't do nothing now. I just hope he knows I love him, wherever he is."

I stroked her back, my tears welling over silently.

"Ain't nothing anybody could've done. Hosea would know that, we all do. And I wanna say that I love him too, one of the greatest men I've known," Tilly said, stepping forwards and kneeling down. She reached over and placed a small bundle of flowers on his chest. "He always had a wise word for anyone, a little bit of hope and care when things seemed like they were falling apart. I'll miss him, painfully."

"We all will," Susan nodded, her voice betraying her grief despite her ability to hold back the tears so clearly aching to come out. Everyone nodded in agreement, and there was silence for a few moments followed by the flipping of pages. I looked to Swanson as he opened up his Bible, parting the pages to the one he'd marked with the ribbon that was attached to the spine.

Swanson cleared his throat, his tired eyes focusing on the page. He'd changed a lot from the man I first became familiar with; before, he was almost always drunk or uncomfortably out of it, but since the move to Lakay, he seemed to be doing better. At least some good had come out of the awful circumstances. It was just sad that everyone else had gone the other way.

"Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death," Reverend Swanson read from the Bible, uttering each word slowly and clearly, then paused and looked up at us all, "I believe Hosea was a good man. Perhaps not in the eyes of the law, as Miss Roberts said, but at heart. He took in those that needed help, gave those of us who had been chewed up and spat out by the world another chance at finding a family. And he did so, never from a place of judgement,

"With his sickness, and the difficulties of the recent months, we must take solace in the knowledge that he is at peace now. And he is with his darling Bessie," he said, and a few nodded, small smiles appearing on their faces. "Perhaps you would all like to join me in a prayer?"

I brought my hands together, clasping them at my heart and bowing my head.

"Almighty God, you love everything you have made and judge us with infinite mercy and justice. We rejoice in your promises of pardon, joy and peace to all those who love you. In your mercy turn the darkness of death into the dawn of new life, and the sorrow of parting into the joy of heaven; through our Saviour Jesus Christ, who died, rose again, and lives forever more," Reverend recited, head bowed, eyes closed, "amen."

"Amen," was murmured among the group, some spoke with more conviction than others, varying degrees of fraught emotion.

Soon, Charles and Mr. Pearson were stepping forwards to bury Hosea. They carefully blanketed him in the soil, laying layer after layer ever so gently, as if tucking him up in bed for his eternal sleep.

I rode back to camp on the back of Charles' horse, Taima, everyone else making their own way back. We attempted to split the group a bit, drawing less attention in case any law were around. He stopped next to Rayna, and held my hand as I slid down to my feet.

"That was lovely," I said as he remained on his horse, and he nodded.

"I'm relieved we could do that. He deserved to be laid to rest by those he cared about and who cared for him," he said.

"Hosea was always very kind to me," I recalled the way he'd comforted me when Arthur had gone missing as I spoke. "I wish Arthur could've been there today."

Charles nodded sadly, and there was a pause, I realised he still hadn't dismounted.

"I'm sorry, I won't keep you, are you off somewhere?"

"I met with Rains Fall the other day. Things are bad up at the reservation, I was heading over there to help out," he explained.

"Arthur mentioned that name to me a while ago," I recalled. "It ain't right what's happening to them. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not right now. Things are tense, the army is involved. I think it might be safer for you to not get involved right now," he told me, and I nodded in understanding.

"Okay, Charles. You take care," I said, giving his horse a gentle pat on the neck.

"I will. I'll see you later," he nodded to me, then tugged on the reins, turning Taima and heading back the way he came. I watched him disappear down the tracks, picking up speed, then looked back at Rayna.

I approached her, pulling my brush from my saddle and tending to her mane, running the bristles through. It wasn't tangled at all, someone had been seeing to her. Her coat was also clean, brushed thoroughly. I continue to brush her mane anyway, as a means of spending some time with her. I needed a little love from her.

"How're you doing, girl?" I asked under my breath, stroking my free hand up and down the bridge of her nose. I raised onto tip-toes and kissed her face.

A sharp huff through a pair of nostrils caught my attention, and I looked up to see Jet on the other side of the hitching post. He was standing still with his head bowed. He hadn't been ridden in a couple of weeks, of course, but he'd been well looked after by the likes of Kieran. The men's horses had managed to make their way back to Shady Belle before we left for Lakay, and it was a relief that we hadn't lost any.

I felt quite emotional looking at Arthur's horse. I wondered if Jet missed him. It looked like he did, with the way his eyes were glumly stuck to the ground, but that could've been me projecting my own human emotions onto him. Either way, I approached him, stroking his neck and his face, giving him some sweetness. He pushed his face into my touch and flicked his tail, and I smiled.

"I'm sure he misses you too," I sighed, reaching into my satchel to retrieve an apple, lifting it up to his mouth. Rayna perked up, nudging her nose into Jet's space as she tried to snag the treat for herself. "Not for you!" I laughed, ensuring Jet ate it up.

"Hey, Miss, you alright? How was the, uh…" Kieran's once small, now more self assured voice came from behind me.

"Hi Kieran," I smiled, turning to face him, "it was nice."

"Oh, good," he nodded, then looked down, drawing attention to the thing in his hands. "I hope this ain't too presumptuous of me, but I made you something. Well, for your horse."

"Oh?" I looked down at the object. It looked like a piece of shredded up rag, and essentially that was all it was.

"I noticed she's docked? Ain't got much tail left," he began, pointing and walking around to the back of her. I followed him. It was true, she had a little hair but it didn't grow very long.

"Unfortunately so. I bought her like that," I nodded.

"I figured it's so buggy 'round here, she'd like a little help keeping the flies off. Made this to add to her tail, it ain't very pretty but it should work."

"Oh, thank you, Kieran. That's very thoughtful," I smiled, gesturing with my hand to give him permission to attach the thing.

He took some strips and bundled them with the hair around her tail, braiding them into it securely before tying it off where her natural hair ended. She was left with a tail that was braided at the top, from which dangled strips of fabric, just as long as any other horse's tail. Nifty.

"That looks pretty good! I think she'll like that," I beamed, patting Kieran's shoulder appreciatively. "Thank you for all the work you put into these horses. They're lucky to have you. As is the gang."

"If it's my way of bein' useful, I'll take it. I like being around the horses," he explained, watching as Rayna discovered her new tail, flipping it around. It'd do nicely to dust the flies away.

"I'm pleased you've found your place here, it's good to feel useful, ain't it?"

"It sure is. Especially since I feel I've got a lot to prove. Maybe I ain't raking in cash for the box, but these horses are invaluable. Think of how much we use 'em, they gotta be looked after well," he said strolling over to Jet, brushing down a patch of ruffled fur on his flank with his hand.

"Exactly," I agreed. "And I'm sure the boys'll appreciate you keeping their horses happy while they're gone."

Kieran nodded slowly, going quiet at the mention of the others. The silence went on for so long it began to feel awkward, and I was about to excuse myself when he finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry, by the way. Can't be easy for you, with Mr. Morgan gone."

My lips parted, I stared at him for a second. Eventually I closed my mouth and nodded.

"Just trying not to get too caught up in thinking about where he could be," I said, and he smiled at me in that shy, closed mouth way of his.

"Well, there ain't much point in getting yourself all worried, now," he said, then looked around timidly, "if there's anything I can do for you to take some stress off, maybe take a couple of your chores, you let me know."

"Aw, thank you. That's kind. But I'm okay, I reckon I prefer keeping busy," I told him.

"In that case, can I give you any of my chores?" He asked, then snickered and shook his head. "No, I'm kidding. But uh, yeah, if there is anything I can help you with, it's the least I could do. You saved my skin."

I shook my head and smiled. "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind," I told him. He nodded, rubbed his hands on his pants.

"Anyway, I–" he finished his sentence by simply pointing over his shoulder, then he shuffled off in that direction.

I'd stopped keeping track of the days since Arthur's departure, but I had to figure it'd been a few weeks. It felt like longer, though, every day dragging and dragging. I spent most of my time in camp, most people did. Nobody was going out pulling jobs, bringing in money; Sadie and Charles had decided that the heat was far too intense to risk drawing any more attention, so any work we did was legal and purely for survival. Hunting, selling skins, gathering herbs and selling those, that sort of thing. It didn't bring in much but it was enough to buy the food and supplies we needed. We were trying to stretch the money in the camp fund tin as far as possible considering there wasn't much going in it and we didn't know how long we'd have without Dutch and the others.

I had been given a rare outing, though, with Abigail. We'd been handed a small bundle of cash and tasked with going into Saint Denis to buy some vegetables. We took one of the wagons, and I drove us into town and to the market where I knew we'd get a better price than the general store if we haggled. She did a better job than I did of getting the price down, she wasn't afraid to bat her eyelashes and put on a little charm with the man running the stall. He helped us load up the wagon, to boot.

"You feel like finding somewhere to get a cool drink before heading back? I got some money saved up, ain't suggesting we use the camp funds. I just feel like staying out a little longer," Abigail suggested when we climbed back on the wagon.

"That sounds real nice," I nodded gratefully.

"We won't be too long, but we've been cooped up in that swamp so long I feel like we deserve some time away," she said, and took the reins. We rode around for some time before finding a small cafe that advertised fresh lemonade and a courtyard around the back. We figured it was a good a place as any, and the courtyard would keep us out of view of the street in case anyone happened to recognise us.

Abigail treated me to my drink and we sat down on a table in the courtyard, the place was pretty vacant. Most patrons were sitting inside out of the sun, it happened to be a rather warm day, but we valued privacy over shade. Abigail sighed and leaned back in the metal chairs that probably would've burned they were so hot in the sun, if it weren't for our clothes acting as a barrier. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath.

"You hear that?" She asked, and I strained my ears. All I could hear was the murmur of voices from the cafe and the streets beyond, the ringing of the church bells, hoof beats on cobblestone. The sounds of the city. "Ain't an alligator hiss, a cricket or a disgruntled Pearson for miles."

"Ain't a fan of this new camp?"

"Is anyone?" She countered drily.

I chuckled at her admission. "Sorta reminds me of growing up," I mused.

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry," Abigail averted her eyes guiltily and I shook my head.

"No, it’s okay. It ain’t too pleasant, I know," I snorted, "there are a lot of reasons I ain't been back since I left. But it feels a bit like home anyway."

"How're you finding it all?" She asked.

"You know, fine," I shrugged and sipped my drink, ignoring her eyes on me, all concerned. "How're you finding it? I know you must be worried about John."

She made a tsking sound, and her expression withered. "Sure. I understand why we can't just go busting him out without a thought, but still. He's my– he's the father of my son. I just wish there was some sense of urgency about getting him back."

"You know I'd help you, Abigail, if I was good with these things. John saved my life. If I could save him too, then…" I trailed off and sighed. "I miss him too. He's a good friend."

"Never said I missed him," she said, pressing her lips together.

"Come on, Abigail," I nudged, looking at her directly.

"Maybe a little," she said quietly. "Anyway, don't you prod me tryin'a get me to open up about my feelings. If I hear you say you're fine one more time I'll lose my damn mind."

"What do you want me to say?" I cocked a brow at her.

"I don't know. That you miss Arthur, or something," she stammered with uncertainty.

"Of course I miss him. With my whole heart I do, I thought it went without saying."

"You're allowed to open up about it, that's all I'm saying," she sighed. "You've been real quiet. Some of us are worried."

"I'm always quiet, though."

"Sure, but not like this."

"This is my way of dealing with it. I feel like if I speak too much about him I'll– it'll spiral into something and I won't be able to handle it so well," I told her honestly, and after searching my eyes for a moment she nodded in understanding.

"Alright then. As long as you'll tell someone if it gets too much."

"I will. Thank you. Everyone has been so kind these last few weeks," I smiled, emotion bubbling and threatening to make me cry.

"Well, in situations like this, sure beats being a bunch of bastards to each other. And you know, it could go either way, everyone’s so wound up."

"Some people went the other way. Or are at least heading there. I can't stand the bickering going on," I sighed and Abigail rolled her eyes.

"I've learned to tune it out. It's Uncle who's gettin' on my nerves. Keeps going on about having to do something, get some money, figure a better place to move to. All the while he's sitting on his ass drinking the last of the booze," she grumbled.

"I don't think I could stand moving again so soon, truth be told."

"No, you're right. All this moving is wearing thin. More than ever it makes me wanna take Hosea's advice and get the hell out of here," she admitted, her lips puckering sadly.

"He told you that?"

"He always thought it'd be best for me and the boy to be out of this life. We were just trying to make John see sense," she explained, and suddenly I realised her issues with John were far more complicated than simply being angry that he'd left for a year. "He never was the family kind."

"Maybe his arrest will be the kick up the backside he needs. For what it's worth, I think you'd all be better off getting out, too."

She nodded, looking down. She was quiet for a few moments. "You and Arthur ever talk about leaving?"

My mouth opened but I just stared at her. I didn't know how to answer. "Uhh, sure, it was mentioned a couple times," I settled on. "Mostly when Dutch was on about going to Tahiti."

"Oh, Christ. I sure as hell weren't going along with that, whether John went or not."

"Did he want to go?"

"John don't know what he wants. I ain't got no hope of knowing," she chuckled.

"Well, I hope he chooses you and Jack in the end, Abigail," I smiled at her, "I think he will. He's not that big of a fool."

"I hope you're right. Actually, I wanna get a newspaper while we're here. See if anything's been said about him, d'ya mind?"

"Course not," I said, and finished the rest of my lemonade.

We left the cafe then, and made our way back out to the streets to find the paper vendor. He wasn't far from the wagon, so I waited there while Abigail went and bought the newest paper. She handed it to me when she climbed up onto the wagon to join me.

"I uh, can't actually," she began quietly, then cleared her throat. "Would you mind reading it for me? I'll drive."

"Of course," I nodded, looking down at it. The wagon started moving and I scanned the front page for news about infamous outlaws being captured, but the entire cover was on about a ship heading to Cuba. I gave it little thought, flicking through the paper scanning for anything to do with outlaws, bank robberies, John Marston…

I finally came across an article a few pages in. It was about the bank, talking about multiple criminals at large, one imprisoned, one killed at the scene, all linked to Dutch's boys. I skim-read it, trying to find something I didn't already know. When I did find something, my mouth dropped open.

"They… they're saying he'll be–" I turned my eyes to her, unable to spit it out.

"What?"

"Well, they wanna move him to Sisika," I finally said. Abigail stared at me with eyes frozen wide. "Yeah, he's currently being held in Saint Denis, but they wanna move him to Sisika by next week."

"Well then we're gonna need to break him out soon. Ain't no hope of getting him out of that place!" She exclaimed and I shushed her, looking around, we were still in the middle of the city. Abigail sped up the horses, almost taking out a pedestrian.

"Calm down! We'll just get back and tell the others."

"What else does it say?" She asked harshly.

"Not a lot. It's all very vague, like they don't wanna say much. I mean, I guess it makes sense. They're hardly gonna put the time and date of when they'll be moving him with the others still out there, that'd be asking for a break out job," I shook my head, rereading the article. "Other than that it's just saying what we already know. Good Lord, you know how many officers were killed?"

"I don't particularly wanna know," she sighed. We were out of the city by then, and heading for the bayou. I gnawed on my lip. They'd killed a lot of people on that bank job, the number printed in front of me difficult to comprehend as individual lives. I closed the newspaper, swallowed down the sickly feeling in my gut and stayed quiet as we headed back to camp.

Abigail rolled the wagon to a stop at the entrance to Lakay, tearing the paper (literally, I was left with the front cover) from my hands and jumping down, marching towards the shack at the edge of camp. I didn't move for a while, watching her run, moments before I heard her yelling. I sighed and closed my eyes, taking a breath. So, John was being moved to a heavily guarded prison in the middle of an island, and the majority of our most competent members were missing. I was struggling to remain positive about such a thing.

I looked down absent-mindedly at the page still left in my hand, turning it over and looking at the headline. LOST AT SEA. I thought about Arthur, wondered what he would do if he was here. He probably would've been the first to grant Abigail's wishes and come to John's rescue. He was always the one to go saving everyone. But once again, he was the one whose location was unknown, and once again, nothing was being done about it.

But what could be done about it? He'd gotten on that boat and we knew nothing–

I felt like someone had pushed me from behind, slamming me into a bath of ice cold water. Ice cold water with an electric current going through it.

I gripped the paper, lifting it and scanning the words on the page. Departing from Saint Denis… the day of the bank robbery… a terrible storm… unknown number of casualties… it all became a blur but I managed to take in the essential information. I shook my head, my hands stiff as if I was sitting up in the grizzlies despite the hot humid air around me. What were the chances? Could it really be? I was overcome with the most awful feeling. Immediately my mind began conjuring up alternatives.

Surely there was more than one boat departing from Saint Denis that night. Right? Ships probably come and go all the time from a city as busy as Saint Denis. Did I have the date right? I never was any good at keeping track of what day it was. If this was the boat that Arthur had boarded, this news would've been printed sooner, wouldn't it? The odds of it being that boat, the chances of everything lining up in such a way–

"Are you alright there?" Lenny's voice broke me from my stupor and I turned my wide eyes and gaping mouth to him.

"Uhh," I responded dumbly. I couldn't yet speak. I extended a shaky arm, handing him the scrap of paper. He took it from me with a frown on his face, and I watched his eyes dart back and forth as he read the article. His frown didn't shift immediately, but his brows gradually raised, realisation sinking in.

"You don't think…" he began, eyes flicking back up to me. My head jerked, it wasn't a nod or a shake, it wasn't any real response, but Lenny seemed to gain something from it. "We should… we should tell the others," he murmured, seeming about as stunned as me, though dealing with it a lot better.

He swallowed visibly, dragging the back of his hand across his brow, wiping away the beads of moisture collected there as he frowned back down at the page, eyes darting to and fro again. He licked his lips, pressing them together, his hand gripping the paper hard enough it shook a little.

"I…" he began, shaking his head. He met my eyes again. "Are you alright? You don't look so good."

"I'm, um, I don't know," I frowned, turning, swinging my legs over the edge of the wagon and sliding down. Lenny reached out, ensuring I didn't stumble, eyeing me up with a creased forehead.

I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't tell how I felt, at all. I didn't feel anything. There was a sense of panic there, but it was behind a wall, just in the peripheral, at the edge of my senses.

"Maybe you shouldn't stand up," he worried, touching my elbow.

"I'm okay," I shook my head.

"You want me to go and show them this?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, maybe you should. I think I'm gonna… I feel like I need a minute, just," I said, ambling away towards the water's edge.

"Shall I send someone to you?" He asked me, and I could hear how concerned he was but all I wanted was for people to not focus on me, it was Arthur and the others who mattered then.

"No, I just need to be alone for a bit, don't worry, Lenny," I told him, shaking my head. "Thanks," I added, then slipped behind one of the half collapsed buildings and leaned up against the side, staring out over the swamp and breathing heavily.

I squeezed my eyes shut, peering into the blackness behind my lids. I squeezed them so hard that bursts of nonexistent light filled my vision. I hoped that when I opened them I would see the peeling wall of Arthur's room in Shady Belle and he'd be sleeping pressed up behind me on his bed, and everything from the last few weeks had never happened and it was just a particularly terrible nightmare. But I opened them to a blurry image of green and brown, blinking into focus the swamp with gators floating in the distance, spoonbills flying overhead, flies and mosquitoes buzzing around my face. Something wavered in me and I felt tension building, it came out as a sob, one I choked back and trapped behind the hand I pressed over my mouth. I took several deep breaths, steadying myself, reining it in. Someone said my name, so soft and gentle and kind it almost destroyed that control I pulled back.

I turned to see Mary-Beth peering around the side of the building, her big, pretty eyes looking so sad and sympathetic. I shook my head and turned away from her.

"Hey, now. Come inside, won't you? Lenny showed us that article. I know you must be going out of your mind…" she cooed, and I heard her footsteps padding on the soggy ground.

"I don't want to," I said, my voice sounding tight and quiet.

"Okay… alright," she said carefully. I felt her hand on my back, between my shoulders, rubbing softly.

The breath I took was jerky. "Where is Molly?" I asked, suddenly realising I hadn't seen her for a while.

"Molly? You're close with Molly?" She said, sounding surprised.

"No, I just– her and Dutch. I wanna know how she's taking it, that's all."

"Oh… well, truth is, she ain't here," she admitted, looking down.

"What?" I turned to look at her.

"Apparently she left while we were out burying Hosea," she told me. I raised my brows.

"Oh," I released the small noise, looking away. Perhaps she'd decided to go back to Ireland after all. At least she'd never have to hear about this. "Nobody's worried?"

"Well, her things are gone. And one of the Morgans," she said, and I nodded. "Doesn't look like she's been taken away against her will. I sorta saw it coming. Dutch was the only thing keeping her here, and," she trailed off, shrugging lightly.

"Well, that's…" I began, my voice disappearing when I realised I had nothing to say.

"Can any of us do anything for you? Do you need someone, I don't know, do you need a hug or someone to talk to?" She asked after a moment.

"Mary-Beth, you're very sweet. I appreciate you coming and seeing how I am. I'm just… I don't quite know what to do with myself just yet. If that really is– if what I read has something to do with Arthur–" I closed my eyes and shook my head. "What'll I do?"

"Well, it's okay to cry. You don't have to hold everything in," she said, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it.

"All that'll achieve is giving me a headache," I muttered, "I think I might go out for a ride."

"Alone?" She balked, and I nodded, "are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I slipped my hand out of hers and walked around the building, heading for the horses. Mary-Beth followed.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," she warned, fiddling with her fingers.

"I have my guns. I promise I'll come back later, I ain't running off," I assured her, "I know these parts well. Grew up here."

"Well, okay then. Please be safe."

I mounted up, patting Rayna on the neck, clicking at her and tugging her reins.

"I will be. I won't go far," I forced a smile at her, then trotted off down the path.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #fanfiction #arthur morgan x reader #atink #arthur morgan x female reader #reader insert #rdr2 fanfic

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fluidityandgiggles · 5 years

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 16

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I realize it took me way too long to do this, but I can explain. Uhh...

So for those of you who don’t know, I haven’t been home since September, and I won’t be home for another... two weeks, more or less? I’ve been to places where I couldn’t know if I’d have working wifi or any wifi at all so updating this fic has been a mission. So I do whatever I can to update at reasonable times.

With that being said, I finished this chapter way back last month while on a two week long trek in Nepal and haven’t had the opportunity to upload it, so I’m grateful I can now. Because this one... was a hell of an exposition ride for a lot of shit I planned a long long time ago.

Quick disclaimer - some bits of this chapter deal with the definition of transgender, and a specific learning disorder. The definition of transgender mentioned in this chapter has been taken from the DSM-IV-TR, which is a defunct edition of the DSM that came out in the year 2000 and has been replaced by the DSM-5 in 2013. The definition has since been changed and separated, and I believe it is now called gender dysphoria, though I’m not quite sure. But it does not reflect my opinions on how dysphoria is related to being trans, I do believe (and have several sources to back me up, including the DSM-5) that you don’t have to be dysphoric to be trans. The same goes for this learning disorder, what is said in this chapter reflects only the way the characters think of it - and it will change later on, I can assure you - and not at all what I would think or say about it.

As is tradition, thanks to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for all her patience with me and my shenanigans (and not getting frustrated with my stupid ideas) and to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original idea and for giving me the best commentary for my screenshots when I send them. And also to @winglessnymph , @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl , who have fallen out of the loop but are still there. I know I haven’t sent you anything much in recent days, but... still.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @ilovemygaydad, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter also includes (rather controversial) opinions/ideas about the definition of transgender (as mentioned in a now-defunct, but then the most recent, edition of the DSM), discussion of abortion, mentions of past self-harm, discussion of personality disorders and hospitalization, panic attacks, and description of rejection sensitive dysphoria. I’m pretty sure I forgot something though, so let me know if I have so I can add it.

—————

Friday, May 30th, 2003

"...your valedictorian, Jenna Miranda Wheeler."

"Class of 2003…"

New York was beautiful in May.

Sadly, that was not where Remy was heading today.

According to Linda, Stephen was going to go on a business trip for at least two weeks in June, starting late May. So Remy was invited over for the summer. Not his first choice, but Leah begged him to come and Emile said that it might be a good idea. But…

Spending more than a day at Linda's, combined with the knowledge that Jenna and India have graduated just a few days ago and Chris hasn't, was a good enough reason for Remy to feel shitty. And he did.

The main upside was that Georgia was beautiful in May too.

He managed to cheer himself up somewhat by thinking of the good things that happened this month - Emile's TOVA results (9/9 inattentive symptoms, 4/9 hyperactive-impulsive, definitely has inattentive type ADHD), India's name being called at graduation instead of her deadname, Jenna graduating valedictorian, his friends moving to Virginia and so on - by the time the taxi from the airport pulled up in front of the, by now, rather familiar house.

And then his stomach dropped.

Stephen was still there.

"Do you need help with those bags, Rebecca?" He asked, eyeing the massive, neon pink duffel bag and the incredibly heavy purple backpack that sat on the sidewalk near Remy as he tapped his foot nervously.

"Not from you I don't. Thanks for the offer, but… no thanks."

He was too proud to admit that the duffel was too heavy for him to lift and he could barely drag it, but he packed most of his clothes and books in it. Some were mailed home. But not most.

"That shit gotta be heavy as fuck—"

"I said, no thank you. Now, move out of my fucking way."

Leah was napping by the time he finally dragged everything inside, but Rachel was doodling in the living room, smiling brightly when she saw him come through the door. She abandoned her crayons and waddled all the way to hug him.

As much as he barely knew her, Remy definitely loved Rachel too.

"I'm going to daycare," she mumbled somewhat, trying to use words she didn't quite know yet. "You have to come!"

"You're such a big girl!" He ruffled her pigtails, picking her up. She was so light for a two-year old. "Going to daycare already?"

"Mmhm."

"I'm so proud of you!"

She just hugged his neck and babbled on about her friends and daycare, her hand flying and her almost falling from his hold. This was another happy thing to add to the list.

He wasn't happy. But this was happy. For now.

—————

Stephen left on his business trip at around seven thirty, and Remy took a huge sigh of relief. Leah also woke up from her nap a few hours earlier, all grumpy and upset for some reason, and Remy tried talking her into telling him why she was so upset.

Linda said it was because of the nap. Leah only got even more upset.

"Why am I here?" Remy asked during dinner, while Leah entertained herself (and he was sure she didn't notice much) and Rachel was almost dozing off. "We haven't had a single good interaction since I was five years old, Linda."

"Am I no longer allowed to want to be around my son, Remy?" She stung back, looking anything but as aggressive as she just sounded.

"I'll be honest with you, kid. I know you don't like me. I can understand why. But what I don't understand is why you're bringing this up in front of your younger sisters. They're too young for this to—"

"I saw a movie about penguins on TV," Leah started rambling. "They're really weird…"

The argument stopped just as quickly as it started, and Leah was allowed to go on and on about penguins bringing rocks to each other. So he proceeded to just glare at Linda, who helped Rachel eat her pasta. This was awful, this was absolutely the worst situation he could've found himself in, and… he just wanted out.

And he kept wanting out even as Rachel already went to sleep, Leah was busy doing her homework last minute, and Linda asked Remy to help her clean up.

"I'm only here because Leah asked me to," he almost hissed as he was tasked with packing the leftovers in incredibly familiar tupperware containers.

"I want to spend more time with you, Remy. I'm still your mother—"

"Well, you haven't acted like it, like, ever!"

Linda sighed, putting the plate she was holding in the dishwasher. "I don't want to sound like I'm making any excuses—"

"So don't make any."

"—but I was barely your age when I had you. This is no excuse, I'm not trying to say that I had no idea what I was doing because of that, but I sacrificed so much of my life to raise you!"

"You could've aborted me! You could've been smart and used protection in the first place!"

"Condoms aren't a fail-proof—"

"Face it, Linda. You never wanted me. You're not homophobic or transphobic for the sake of it, it's clear you have at least some level of respect to queer people. You just never wanted me in the first place."

The next plate she was holding broke in the sink. "How fucking dare you say that?!"

"I'm just saying—"

"I have never wanted something in my life more than I wanted you!" Her screams hurt Remy's ears, going as far as to make Leah cry in the other room. Linda immediately lowered her voice. "I know I've been a bad mother to you. I regret every decision I've ever made while I was married to your father, except being married to him and having you. And I've spent every day since leaving you and your father regretting my decisions, and wanting to make it up to you, but you kept pushing me away. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? Do you still think you're the only one who's been robbed of something in this relationship?"

"...you had Leah while you were still married to Dad" was all he could say. And he hoped he'd have the last word. "Was she a mistake too?"

Sadly, you can't always get what you want.

"Leah… is problematic. But she wasn't a mistake either. None of you are, and you can stop saying that. Whatever is wrong with her does not make her a mistake. Just as your gender identity disorder does not make you a mistake."

"No, you're right. It doesn't. It makes me transgender. A female-to-male man. You know those terms? Female to male, transgender? It's what people call it nowadays."

There was another long moment of silence as Linda cleaned up the broken plate and Remy finished packing up the leftovers, and Leah stopped crying.

It was a stressful silence. Very typical of home life with Linda Brigham-Hollander.

"...you may not have come at a time I liked," she sighed after everything, falling into a chair. Remy was ready to leave the kitchen, but this wouldn't let him. "I know we could've… waited a few more years. But you came when you did, and I don't regret that. You were never a mistake. I may have a hard time understanding… what… your identity. I'm trying my best to educate myself now, you know—"

"That's almost five years too late."

"I don't know what Leah told you about her school life, but whatever hardships she got understanding stuff—"

"She has no trouble understanding stuff as far as I can see—"

"Educational stuff. School material. She got that from me. Education comes harder for me, you may not know that. I was never the brightest student and I only completed my high school diploma when you were three years old. Don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with you. But I couldn't learn when you asked me to. It felt like—"

"Linda, it didn't take Dad five years to be able to call me by my name and use the correct pronouns. Even if you don't mean it this way, this is bullshit to me. And I hope you get it."

And then he got up and left, leaving her to her own. If she cried, well… that's none of his business.

—————

Sunday, June 8th, 2003

Nathalie and Emile were getting ready for the Tony awards when Emile had a panic attack.

No, that's not true. Emile has been having panic attacks all week long for some weird reason he couldn't explain, most likely not being able to talk to Remy all week long since his phone died and he couldn't get a new one just yet. But today was the worst one. So Julie lent him her phone for a call, to explain himself so he won't panic so much, but…

But Remy wouldn't understand. He'd be mad if Emile tried to call him from Julie's phone because of some panic attacks… and then he'd hate him, and then… and then…

Then he wouldn't have a best friend anymore…

What was India's phone number again…?

She picked up on the fourth ring. "India McGinty—"

"It's Emile," he almost sobbed the second she picked up. "I… I have a question…"

"Oh, honey, of course. What is it?"

"Do you think Remy would hate me…? My phone died and I can't get another one until next week and—"

"Emile, are you… are you crying right now?"

"No… I did before, I just…"

She sighed before clearing her throat. That's it, she hates him too—

"Do you mind if I pass you over to Jenna? She's better at this than me."

"...okay…"

"...Emile?" Jenna's voice was softer than India's somehow. She'd never raise her voice, but Emile was scared of the people who'd be there when she does once she becomes a lawyer. "Can you please explain what's going on?"

"Well… my phone died, and I can't tell Remy because he's with his mom and I don't wanna call him while he's with his mom, so I'm scared that if I don't talk to him all summer he'll hate me and then he won't talk to me anymore and I can't—"

"Let's slow down, you're only upsetting yourself. Remy is your best friend, right?"

"Yeah… I mean, I like him a bit more but, but it's not like I can just tell him that, and…"

"That's fine, we're not gonna focus on this for now. That's for another time. But he's your best friend, right?"

"Yeah, I just told you!"

"So why would he hate you for something like that? He's going to understand, I'm sure."

"I don't… know… it just feels like he might…"

"I know. This feeling fucking sucks, doesn't it?" She chuckled. Emile couldn't answer to that. He just… he couldn't. "But it's not healthy to dwell on this feeling. It might become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you fret about it so much."

"What do you mean…?"

"...have I ever told you that I was institutionalized until my second year of college?"

He couldn't stop his jaw from dropping. "No…"

"Okay. So I'll tell you now. I… how squeamish are you? I don't want to… trigger anything…"

"I don't know… I don't… I don't think I really mind much…?"

"Okay, I… I'll censor it anyway. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah."

"So when I was fourteen, I started harming myself. It's not… it was what you'd think, but not for the most part. I didn't cut really. But my parents knew, and they gave a ton of fucks and not just because they had a reputation to uphold like I thought they did back then. They just… they gave all the fucks."

"Okay… I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Don't apologize, you had no part in this. And you never will. I promise."

"Okay."

"Two years after I started, my parents sent me to a psych ward. At that time they thought I was depressed, it was too early to diagnose me properly, so… I've lived for three years on doses of antidepressants that didn't do a whole lot, because nobody knew. I was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was nineteen, my medication prescription was fixed and I was let out of there when they decided I'm doing well enough to be able to live on my own again. I spent my first year of law school with a nurse attached to my hip, can you imagine?" She laughed, and Emile struggled to hold back a smile.

"Actually yeah… my sister is narcoleptic…"

"Oh shoot, sorry… didn't mean that. Anyway… back to the topic at hand, yeah? I was… infatuated, for a lack of a better word, with this guy. His name was David. I thought I was in love with him, but it turned out I idolized him to a point where he became my favorite person, and that was an incredibly toxic experience. He was like… like Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted. But dialed up to eleven. He was a fucking asshole and I haven't seen him in years… he was transferred to another place after an incident that involved one of my friends, she ended up almost killing herself because of this guy. And my anxiety over being perfect for him, over making him like me and making sure that he keeps liking me, made me extremely unhealthy in the long run."

There was a pause, possibly for Emile to process. Most likely. This wasn't fair… this was totally not fair! Why did good people have to go through shitty things?

"My next favorite person after him was a girl I dated for a couple months before India." Jenna sounded kind of breathless at that, as if she was crying herself. "And… she made me talk to her. She asked me questions for clarification all the time and helped me with my anxiety, especially when I felt like this. I was tiring, but… it's the effort she put into this that counted. Emile… you gotta talk to Remy."

"But… but I can't…"

"Who said? Communication is key. I know it might be really hard, especially for you, but… call him. It's his birthday soon, right? In July?"

"Yeah…"

"Call him. Write down everything you want to tell him and tell him then. I promise it'll make your anxiety a lot easier to manage."

————

"Remy," Linda called from the living room as he was heading to bed. This was becoming ridiculous…

"I told you, I'm not talking to you for the rest of this—"

"I can't read a single word in this cursed book of yours."

"...what book?"

"This DSM thing. Remy, darling, why do you need this book? It's so difficult to understand, couldn't they have written better books about this?"

He ended up not going to bed after all, instead resorting to making himself tea and going to sit on the couch next to her.

"Mom, that's… that's the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, mom. It's existed since the fifties. This is the revised version. They can't make it simpler to understand, I don't think."

"Well, your grandma's always said that if a child can't understand what's written, it's because the writer is bad at what they're doing."

"And so have a lot of my professors, but sadly this is what we have to work with. What's so confusing anyway?"

"I was trying to read about your… your thing, the gender identity disorder thing…" she turned the book to him. The passages in this section have been highlighted the day he bought the book and he knew them by heart. Well, for the most part. "I'm sorry, but the words are just… long and confusing."

"...that's fine… it's totally fine, I can… I can simplify it for you…"

"I don't need you to simplify it for me, I know English. I just… I can't read this! Big and confusing academic paper words."

Oh fuck…

"I'm a painter, not an academic, Remy. I can't read. You know this. You've known this forever."

"I forgot you're dyslexic…"

"And what does forgetting that help you?"

"Nothing… let's… let's go over this together, okay? The sections that apply to me." He waited for Linda to nod, rather reluctantly, before putting on his own pair of reading glasses.

"So, to diagnose someone with gender identity disorder there are two criteria, identifying with the opposite gender and feeling dysphoria. In order to meet those criteria, you gotta not be intersex, which I think is pretty stupid, and also it has to affect your daily life."

"Yeah, I know that. Your shrink told us that when you were fourteen. Let's move on, okay?"

"...okay. In boys, aka trans girls, this doesn't apply to me… okay. Girls with GID, aka trans boys, display a intense negative reactions to parental expectations, blah blah blah, you never had any expectations of me so this doesn't apply…"

"No no no no no, you will read this out. No skipping."

"Okay, fine! Girls with GID display intense negative reactions to parental expectations or attempts to have them wear dresses or other feminine attire. Some may refuse to attend school or social events where such clothes may be required... They prefer boy's clothing and short hair, are often misidentified by strangers as boys, and may ask to be called a boy's name. Reminds you of something?"

"...go on."

"Their fantasy heroes, yeah no, I never had fantasy heroes…"

"You had She-Ra."

"Yeah, but she made me gay, not trans, mom. Prefer boys as playmates, contact sports… yeah, none of that either…"

"You used to play soccer as a kid. Your dad has a lot of pictures of that, you know."

"I… didn't actually know that… huh."

"You didn't learn to kick a ball from your father, though. I'll tell you that."

It took a bit of time for Remy to stop himself from giggling, deciding to sip his tea instead. It didn't work very well.

"Yeah… well… moving on, ‘they show little interest in dolls or any form of feminine dress up or role-play activity. A girl with this disorder may occasionally refuse to urinate in a sitting position. She may claim that she has or will grow a penis and may not want to grow breasts or menstruate. She may assert that she will grow up to be a man. Such girls typically reveal marked cross-gender identification in role-play, dreams and fantasies.' Does any of this sound familiar, mom? Because I don't… I don't actually know."

"Until now… yeah. All of that sounds incredibly familiar. Look, I…"

"I know what's you're gonna say, and please don't. It's fine. I know you panicked, I know you said things you didn't mean to, but… can we leave that for now? That's a bridge we're gonna deal with later. Now, adults with GID…"

They ended up staying up for far longer than either of them wanted to, but it was alright. Linda wanted to learn. Remy was willing to teach her.

They only barely made it to bed at three in the morning, the page bookmarked for tomorrow, when they'll continue reading.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: mental health discussion #tw: invalid/defunct definition of transgender #tw: discussion of abortion #tw: mentions of self-harm #tw: personality disorders #tw: hospitalization #tw: panic attacks #tw: rejection sensitive dysphoria #wow this is a long one

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jaspreetsingh001 · 5 years

Text

Utopia - A Privacy Focused Decentralized P2P Ecosystem & Blockchain

Are you one of those individuals who believe they don’t need online privacy because there is nothing to hide? That is an argument but protecting your data will help limit the power of advertisers and companies who influence you every day. “Why should I care? What services guarantee web-privacy and how?” That’s what I will uncover in this review.

Utopia is a decentralized peer-to-peer network, With Utopia you can send instant text and voice messages, transfer files, create group chats and channels, send emails and conduct a private discussion. Currently Utopia is an application for Windows, iOS and Linux which offers all the features within one application. Utopia users get on their ‘Utopia ecosystem‘ as the application also provides a built-in Idyll browser to view websites within Utopia peer-to-peer network . Utopia comes with a Cryptocurrency which is called ‘Crypton‘ and is Proof-of-Stake. uWallet allows you to store,transfer your Crypton(CRP) or even create vouchers and credit cards, Utopia Network includes Utopia Name System (UNS) which is a decentralized registry of names that are impossible to expropriate, freeze or corrupt by 3rd-party as no one has control over the system rather its self-governed by rules set in place which are applicable to everyone. After you join Utopia you may wanna drop by our Hackology channel, which you can search in the Channel Manager

I came across Utopia ecosystem two months ago; it has been available for the last five years though. What do I like the most about this product?

Self-enclosed Ecosystem: This means that third-parties never use the data you use for communication, how I express my thoughts.

Enhanced encryption: Developers employed sophisticated mechanisms to guarantee web-privacy. Even if you are not a tech geek, you can Google what elliptic curves and unique p2p architecture are. These tools are proven solutions against interception and data leakage.

All-in-one: Utopia is not only a messenger but users can mine cryptocurrency, send emails, design websites, and use maps within one ecosystem. For now, I tested a messenger and created a blog with Utopia after signing as a beta-tester.

Decentralized: Thanks to blockchain technology, anyone can enjoy security online. Decentralization means that my email, text messages, and files are not stored on one server and third-party companies are never involved in the data transmission process.

Anonymous: It was a sigh of relief when I noted that I didn’t need to mention phone number, personal data when registering on Utopia. Each User has a key which never changes and enables p2p communication as the only recipient can decrypt and see the message.

Humane: Utopia is the only Ecosystem of this kind that applies technology to protect online privacy and complete freedom of speech with no censorship. One can feel free for self-expression without being tracked while IP, location, and files are never stored or shared with anyone.

All these checkpoints in combine make Utopia one of the most interesting tools for online privacy

UTOPIA PRODUCT AND ITS FEATURES

Let’s Explore Utopia and all the features in detail. Please note as this is a beta application many of the features might change in future or some even get removed.

Utopia Encryption

Each user participates in transmission of network data but only the recipient can decrypt the data. Advanced encryption ensures interception-proof communication channel to all Utopia users. All communication is secure and protected by Curve25519 high-speed elliptic curve cryptographywhile local storage is encrypted by 256-bit AES. Big Brother is no longer watching you!

Installing Utopia

Once you register on the Beta Portal you have to download Utopia Application. After installing the application you will be given a Hardware ID and a Private Key, these keys are required to activate your beta license which can be done from the Activation Page. Please keep in mind that your beta portal website login credentials are not linked with Utopia Application and you can have a different username for the app and the website. Once you activate the license your utopia account will be tied with your beta portal account. A step by step procedure for easy understanding of the activation procedure:

Download Utopia software

Install the program by following simple instructions on installation wizard

Run Utopia and create your account. You will be provided with Public Key and Hardware ID. Those are needed to activate your Utopia software

Click on JOIN BETA

Agree to the Rules and click SUBMIT

Click on NEW ACTIVATION and Enter Public Key and Hardware ID

Click ADD

Now your Utopia is activated and you are ready to test it

Utopia Dashboard

Utopia is a feature-rich platform that is specifically designed to protect privacy of communication, confidentiality and security of personal data. It was created for privacy-conscious public who believe that privacy is paramount. Utopia is a decentralized network, with no central server involved in data transmission or storage. The network is supported by people who use its many high quality features.

The first glimpse we get of the application is at the Dashboard which has navigational menu for easy access to all of its many features for us to explore, use and report bugs while it is in beta testing phase.

uMail (Utopia Mail)

uMail is a secure alternative to classic e-mail. uMail can be sent to Utopia users that are in your contact list for now. uMail has all functionality of email localized to Utopia ecosystem. No servers are used for mail transmission or storage. uMail account, that is created by default when you join the Utopia network, enables unlimited messaging and attachment storage. Utopia ecosystem encryption guarantees the security of mail transmission and storage. Your uMail, as an internal part of Utopia, cannot be blocked or seized.

All those who value their data privacy would find this useful including activists and journalists knowing that their data is going straight to the designated user and no 3rd party can intercept their data. Currently the limit set for the attachments is 100 MB but as per the team it may be increased in future.

uWallet (Utopia Wallet)

All financial functionality can be found in Utopia built-in uWallet. uWallet allows you to make and accept payments denominated in Utopia cryptocurrency ‘Crypton‘, accept payments at your website, pay by Crypto Cards without revealing your Identity or bill fellow Utopia users for your services. With uWallet you can store value in Cryptons, receive mining rewards, use uVouchers, request payments and accept payments using the built-in API.

All of this while you remain anonymous. All payments are instant and cannot be reversed. Decentralized nature of Utopia ensures that your balance cannot be expropriated.

Utopia Mining — Crypton

Utopia has an inbuilt cryptocurrency called Crypton (CRP), which is proof-of-stake therefore a modest machine can also be used to mine cryptons through the GUI based Utopia application or with terminal based Mining bot which comes with the application.

Utopia rewards users that support the ecosystem through Mining by emission of new Cryptons. When you run your Utopia software or bot you will receive your share of collective reward. Mining does not slow your computer down and is environmentally friendly. You may also run a number of bots at several servers or computers to multiply the Crypton mining speed.

uNS (Utopia Naming System)

Utopia has introduced uNS (Utopia Naming System) which is a unique naming system and independent from the conventional Domain Naming System. DNS is subject to pressure and censorship from less than prefect international laws. Domains can be revoked or suspended due to multiple reasons, such as non-response to WhoIS inquiry or other register policies, non-payment, government actions and so on.

uNS, in contrast, is a truly decentralized non-censored registry hosted by Utopia Network participants with no expiration dates, renewal fees, suspensions and revocations. There is only one rule: First come, First served.

uNS registered name should be unique. You may register as many uNS registered names as you want while registration is not free and costs are paid in crypton:

Single letter uNS costs 1000 CRP

Two letter uNS costs 500 CRP

Three letter uNS costs 5 CRP

Four letter or more costs 0.1 CRP

Miscellaneous Features

Making Groups, Adding users, Chatting and Emailing, Sending Mails and Mining Cryptons might be the highlights but Utopia claims to be an ecosystem therefore they had to incorporate many more features so that users of Utopia ecosystem do not feel the need to go out of the system. List of other useful features within the Utopia Application are listed

Packet Forwarding : uNS Manager lists option of ‘Packet Forwarding’ which is an internal system allowing any utopian user to host a website which can be accessed by the Idyll browser, the naming system of the website is explained above, if you register hackology uNS you can make a website and it will open when you visit http://hackology/ and that is it. This option allows to tunnel any kind of data between users in ecosystem, making possible to host different types of resources including websites inside Utopia Network. At the time of writing few fellow Utopia users made Utopia sites which can be accessed at http://trade/ and at http://crystalforest

File Manager : All files which are sent or received in Utopia can be accessed from the builtin file manager which also includes an image viewer. As of now the file transfers are limited to 100MB.

Voice Notes : Utopia also supports sending and receiving of Voice messages which you can send to those who are added with you.

Dark Theme : The program comes in standard theme but how can they miss out a Dark Theme for the privacy savvy ? Users can opt for dark theme by going to Tools > Settings > Interface and selecting the ‘Dark Space‘ theme

Utopia API : Utopia comes with a comprehensive API for users to incorporate in their own projects. For instance, using API you can accept payments denominated in Crypton at your website, automatically manage your channels, send instant messages and much more. To get started once you enable the API you can also access the API documentation.

Network Fee Structure : Utopia provides us with an option to view all the network enforced fee and they are updated live on the network as the fee structure changes, thus one can stay updated with the current fee structure. You can access the Network Fee from uWallet > Treasury Data > Network Fee

Game : Utopia also supports in-app games which can be played in multiplayer, as of writing there is a working Chess game.

Utopia Reward System

Utopia is providing a very lucrative reward system, where Beta Testers, Contributors & Promoters all can join the beta portal and help test and find bugs which in return gets you ‘pts‘ where 1 pt equals to 1 USD which are paid in BTC.

We truly believe that your participation has to be exciting and mutually beneficial. Utopia Beta Program rewards your enthusiasm, commitment and dedication. No matter what is your skill set you will find an opportunity to contribute to Utopia P2P Project development

At the time of writing I have already cashed out $560 and transferred them to my own bitcoin wallet. I can vouch that if you have the eye to spot bugs it is a good place to help them and in return get paid. Uptil now Utopia team has paid out $3583 to beta testers which is a decent figure keeping in view that they launched 7 days back and still 3 months of beta testing period is left.

If you are not a bug finding sort you can still help and give them suggestions and ideas on how to improve their application or go ahead and share this on social media pages and get paid for being a ‘promoter’. Withdrawals are done manually and as per the rule it can take up-to 48 hours, but I have noticed that within an hour or so they release the funds.

Do Earn but DONT SPAM they have mentioned categorically that have zero spam tolerance

1 note · View note

sadrien · 7 years

Text

wanna chat? pt.20

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

i'm not dead yet but i'm v close

eponine = alya enjolras = marinette grantaire = nino marius = adrien

enjoy

13:04

eponine: dont listen to marinette

enjolras: Ummm???? LIsten to Marinette

eponine: no fuck u

enjolras: :P

grantaire: ???????? what did you do

eponine: NOTHI N G

enjolras: She tried to chase Chat after the akuma attack and almost fell in the Seine

eponine: i did not

enjolras: She was 100% ready to swim

eponine: NO I WANS T

grantaire: oh is that where you went

eponine: f i g h t m e

grantaire: al youd do anything for another interview wiht one of them

eponine: >:( u arent wrong tho

grantaire: exactly i cant believe you almost went into the river

eponine: i hate you

14:16

enjolras: Has anyone heard from Adrien today??

grantaire: i talked to him thsi morning

enjolras: When was this morning

grantaire: uhhh like…. 2

enjolras: Sleep??? Is a thing??????????

grantaire: video games are also a thing

enjolras: I hate you

grantaire: </3

14:25

eponine: good afternoon i am gay

grantaire: youre bi

eponine: good afternoon i am bi do u have a moment 2 talk about our lord and savior ladybug

enjolras: Why are you like thsi

eponine: im running on like 5 cups of coffee

marius: lmao lame

eponine: what

grantaire: ?????

enjolras: Did alya steal adriens phone again

eponine: first of all rude second of all what

marius: who even is everyone on here??} what kind of nerd club is this

grantaire has changed their name to nino

nino: blame adrien he got all geeky on us

eponine has changed their name to ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: hello im still bi

marius: what in fresh hell is going on here

enjolras has changed their name to mari

mari: Who are you??? And why do you have Adriens phone

marius: because he’s too trusting lol guess who’s thumbprint is in it and has access to everything

nino: i know my dude doesnt have anything weird on his phone that he wouldnt want people to see but still bro thats ominous

marius: ;*

ladybugfan2020: really tho who r u

marius: god i can’t believe you can’t figure it out who do you think adrien would trust not only with his phone but also enough to put their fingerprint in it?????

ladybugfan2020: nino mari probably not me but a girl can dream ladybug chat link

marius: i’m stopping you right there because fictional characters don’t count i’m honestly offended is there a block button on skype???

mari: Why do you have his phone Chloe?

marius: wow!!! one of you has a brain!!! a concept

nino: oh shit he had a big photoshoot today didnt he man i feel bad that i forgot

mari: He didnt want to talk about it much dont feel too bad

marius: no shame on you for forgetting clearly i’m the only one who cares about adrien here

ladybugfan2020 has removed marius from the group.

mari: Alya no

ladybugfan2020: alya yes?? i dont like her

mari: I mean same but Adrein wont know why hes been removed

nino: mars got a point

ladybugfan2020: ugh y do i like either of u

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to the group.

marius: fucking rude

ladybugfan2020: fight me

marius: maybe i will!!!!

nino: last time you did that al got akumatized lets ton e it down

marius left this group

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to this group.

marius: fuck you

ladybugfan2020: oh u wish

marius: i want out

mari: Then put down Adriens phone??

marius: i’m bored this photoshoot is boring you’re all JUST as boring though

marius has changed their name to chlo

chlo: a random reminder that i hate you all and am only talking to you because i’m desperate

nino: im honored

chlo: you should be

ladybugfan2020: new question y r u at the photoshoot

chlo: cause i was in part of it?? duh

mari: You model?

chlo: ok so clearly i need to talking up myself MORE i thought that was something people like you wanted me to stop doing make up your mind

mari: You cant tell but Im rolling m y eyes

chlo: of course i’m a model have you seen me

nino: unfortunately

chlo: fuck off

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “chloe sux”

chlo: fucking this is why i’m not friends with any of you

mari: Lets be real you wouldnt be friends with us if we werent like this

chlo: probably true

nino: i dunno we were pretty close when we were 6?

chlo: oh god don’t remind me i’ve blocked that from my memory

nino: what? dont like remembering how we got married on the playground

chlo: get out of my life lahiffe

nino: are we getting a divorce??

mari: No you got divorced when we were 8

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im watching a soap opera wild did we all get married on the playground??? i got married to this girl in my class when i was 4 and she was my first kiss good times we had to break up tho cause she wanted to go on the slide when i wanted to use the monkey bars

mari: Aw tragic young love

chlo: not surprised

ladybugfan2020: k ive shared every1 else go share ur 1st kiss

mari: Kim in a game of truth or dare when I was eleven

nino: chloe at our wedding

chlo: lame also i don’t owe you anything cesaire

ladybugfan2020: i can just ask adrien later

chlo: fuck ok i kissed alix the day before nino and i got married alix kissed me i think it was a dare

nino: i cannot believe you cheated on me i want another divorce

chlo: yeah yeah

ladybugfan2020: whyd u 2 divorce anyway?

nino: chloe didnt invite me to her birthday

chlo: ummm????? i mean no i didn’t because it was a girls only sleepover but also i remember YOU had a crush on mari so

ladybugfan2020: just kno i am living

mari: YOu had a crush on me when we wer e 8???

nino: mari i hope you know everyone has had a crush on you

mari: ???????????????

ladybugfan2020: can confirm

chlo: ew they need me to do something i’ll steal adrien’s phone back later be less lame when i get back

nino: no promises

ladybugfan2020: lmao anyway now we just gotta find out who adriens 1st kiss was any1 kno?

mari: Nino would know

nino: i mean i do but thats for him to share im sure he will but ill let him do it

ladybugfan2020: nice now we just gotta remember to ask ive got it

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6”.

mari: Subtle

ladybufan2020: thanks

14:43

chlo: i lived bitch

nino: did chloe just meme

chlo: of course i did???? i mean come ON adrien agreste is my best friend what did you expect?

nino: nah dude hes my bes t friend

chlo: no he’s not

ladybugfan2020: rude™

mari: Were his best friends????

chlo: pff you’re more than just his friends

ladybugfan2020: ????

chlo: nothing anyway you people are boring god did you do nothing while i was gone?? how does he suffer being in your presence

nino: has anyone ever told you youre kinda rude and obnoxious

chlo: yeah you multiple times

nino: cool imma do it again

chlo: where’s the middle finger emoji

nino: :P

mari: I cant believe you came back

chlo: yeah neither can i guess you’re less boring and annoying than doing nothing

PM between chlo and ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: can i ask y u hate mari

chlo: i don’t hate her

ladybufan2020: …

chlo: it’s a long story

ladybugfan2020: well shes my best friend and ur kind of a dick to her

chlo: yeah well i’m not a nice person

ladybugfan2020: have u ever considered trying to b a nicer person

chlo: fuck off adrien agreste is my best friend what the hell do you think

ladybugfan2020: try harder

in who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6

mari: Has Adrien seriously been working this whole time???

chlo: not constantly but he hasn’t had much downtime when he’s not getting pictures taken of him they’re having him do other stuff probably cause he’s the boss’ kid but i don’t know i just pose and look pretty

nino: use no brain power like usual

chlo: haha very funny

ladybug2020: do u think hes gonna read through all these messages???

mari: Depends on if hes tired or not

ladybug2020: mk hey sunshine if ur reading this ilysm thats all

chlo: ugh they need me

mari: I mean you are like Working

chlo: whatever we’re almost done so adrien will probably be on next bye losers

nino: bye ex wife

15:07

chlo: Ok I see that something happened Oh my username has changed Well ok that explains almost everything

chlo has changed their nickname to adrien

adrien: I had to turn autocaps back on

nino: dude thats lame

adrien: I’m a lame person Also to answer the chat name’s question Nino

ladybugfan2020: ???????? what??????????? when did this happen??????

adrien: A few months ago?

nino: sounds about right

adrien: I had to do a photoshoot that was going to involve kissing a girl and I didn’t want my first kiss to be work related I was talking about it to Nino and he was like “the answer is to have your first kiss before the photoshoot”

mari: And so the next logical step was to kiss NIno

adrien: …yeah sort of

nino: fun fact adrien is a great kisser @alya cause mari already knows

mari: Please stop talking to me oh my god

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im missing out how do i get adrien agreste to kiss me how did u do it mari? it was an accident right??? just like…fall asleep on his face?

mari: I’m leaving goodbye I hate you all

ladybugfan2020: </3

#adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #chloe bourgeois #my fics #wanna chat

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bepis-star · 7 years

Text

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED IN A THING

Get to know me tag Rules: tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know (honestly dont even have to follow it tbh) Tagged by: MY GOOD BOI @more-zero-than-ace Name: Jacob Tyler Martinez, Yup its Jacob. Nickname: I prefer my real name to just be Jake but I guess i can also call it a nickname. I’m also called cinnamon roll, Uber Wooper, Uber, Wooper, and Dolphin, because of my dolphin like laugh. Gender: Male Star sign: Taurus Height: 5′3 Sexuality: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ACE (asexual). hetero romantic tho. Hogwarts house: I dont know Harry Potter Favorite animal: AXOLOTL!!! Second place goes to either praying mantis or an Ocelot.

Average hours spent sleeping:4-5 hours on school nights, 10 hours on non school nights. Dogs or Cats: Cats! But dogs are also awesome! Especially the fluffy ones.

Number of blankets I sleep with: 1, sometimes 2 if its super cold.

Dream trip: I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’ve wanted to visit both Tokyo and the outer parts of Japan. My best friend wants to visit there as well so maybe I should plan a trip with her! Dream Job: I honestly dont know at this point. I’d say artist but its a super hard field. When I made this account: Less than a month since i deleted my old account, but if I wanna be techinical June 2015.

Why I made this account: I wanted a reset on my tumblr account since a year ago i wasn’t the healthiest person to talk to. Thankfully that’s changed now.

# of followers: id say around the 20′s, sadly I don’t have as much as i did on my other account but that’s ok! Reasons for my url: My other best friend actually gave me the idea for this username and it’s super rad, i’ve been using it for everything ever since! I am stil grateful for the idea. You’re tagged in this so ya know who ya are LOL

Tagging: i dont have 20 to tag so imma tag my best friends @cola-star and @arcanineserenade ! i also want tag my buddy @savefrog and the rad blog @vvoopers ! also @daily-trapinch @the-silly-popplio and @sleepysealion if ya guys wanna go at it go ahead! Anyone can give this a shot!

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jayankles · 7 years

Text

Countdown

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4277

Warnings: Implied smut, drinking, angst, fluff, character death

A/N - This is my entry for @therealdeanwinchester13 writing box challenge - I received the prompt: Write a story that involves a countdown. Start the story at 10 and end the story at 1

A/N 2 - Also shoutout to one of my best friend’s, Ty, who I don’t know the username of, but I know he’s stalking me and waiting for this. My dude, here you go.

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated :)

Ten years. Some would say that ten years was a long time, but not for a nineteen year old especially when you had your whole life ahead of you. You were stupid and naive. You knew that but you would sell your soul again in a heartbeat,especially when it was to save your family. They had all died, leaving you behind, survivors guilt you would have called it and it was, that was how you felt. You felt guilty for not dying, that you were the only one left. The stories you heard about making deals with crossroad demons had to be a myth but it was worth a shot. You had to try and save your family because in all honesty you couldn’t live alone.

You kissed the demon to seal the deal and it was done, your life would be over in ten years but you didn’t care, your family would learn to live without you. I know hypocritical, right?

The years rolled by and you felt even more guilt with each passing day, soon you would be leaving your family but what really got you was how close you all were after the accident had happened.

Your family had become solid unit, they became more greatful for what they have already rather than focusing on what they didn’t. They said their grace at the table, thankful for living another day, thanking God that they hadn’t died the day of the car crash. You nearly balled listening to them, you could barely keep it together, nearly blurting out that you only had half a decade until your death had come to pass.

With six years of your death sentence gone, you wasted no more of your life, if you had four more years left you were going to live your life to the fullest. Although you never finished school, you wanted to enjoy your life before you died. You went to a convention and met your favourite celebrity, oh yeah that would be what you take to the grave. You went skinny dipping, saw the northern lights, swam with dolphins, hugged a few seals, managed to learn enough Spanish to go to Barcelona and went to Disneyland in Florida. To others it may not seem much but it was everything on your bucket list completed.

What you didn’t anticipate was to fall in love with someone; that wasn’t supposed to happened, especially when you only had two years left.

You had come back from Florida and landed back in your hometown, you had three years left but had already got so much done. With your suitcases in tow, you made your way to the nearest bar, not bothering to go home just yet. Ordering a drink, you tucked your bags under the counter of the bar.

Nodding your thanks to the bartender, you sipped at the liquor, not wanting to down the whole thing. A tall, beautiful, green eyed man took a seat next to you. You were a goner as soon as you locked eyes and he gave you a boyish grin.

‘Boyfriend kick you out?’ He innocently inquired, glancing at your bags.

You laughed at him, throwing your head back, ‘that’s a great first sentence. You use that pick up line a lot?’

Green Eyes pouted before apologising, ‘I just assumed. Pretty girl like you, suitcases, and you’re alone drinking whiskey.’

‘I thought that was your way of asking me if I wanted to get outta here and forget out him, who you thought he was.’

He turned his body to face you, he leaned in, his breath hot on your neck, ‘we can if you want to.’

‘There’s one thing I wanna know though, before we do get outta here.’

‘Shoot, Princess.’

You pulled back, whispering in his own ear, ‘who’s name I’ll be screaming again and again.’ Biting his ear, you leant back in your seat, watching as his expression turn from shock to lust in a matter of seconds.

‘Dean, and you might be?’

You thought it over; would you give him a fake name and leave him in the morning where he couldn’t find you, or just give him your real name and add this night to your achieved goals that you didn’t know you wanted until now? ‘(Y/N), my name is (Y/N).’ You gave him a sweet smile and ducked your head.

Dean gripped your chin and tilted your head up, planting a quick kiss on your lips, not giving you enough time to respond as he just as quickly pulled away.

Once you downed your drink in one go, he grabbed your suitcases and lead you out to his car; a beautiful in its own right at that.

The black, retro, muscle car stood out against all the new, more modern, models of cars, yet they couldn’t compare to the prize that sat in front of you. ‘Wowza.’

‘Yeah, I know right.’

‘She’s freaking gorgeous!’ You exclaimed excitedly, sliding a hand over the hood of the chevy as Dean packed your suitcases in the trunk of his car.

‘How’d you know my Baby was a she?’

Shrugging, you answered, ‘eh, lucky guess. It definitely wasn’t the goo goo eyes you were making at her when we walked over here. Looks like I have a little competition, huh?’

‘Well Baby can keep me warm at night but I can’t snuggle with her in a bed now, can I?’

‘Wouldn’t have taken you for a snuggler, Dean.’ You had trouble keeping the smirk off your face.

Dean slammed the trunk shut and made his way over where you were still standing, wrapping his arms around your waist. ‘There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, (Y/N).’

‘Uh huh, that would be because we just met, you dork.’

‘Guess we should get aquainted then get to know each other real good.’

With your arms around Dean’s neck, you pulled him closer, closing the distance between you, kissing his lips. ‘Let’s go then.’

It wasn’t a surprise that when you woke up Dean wasn’t there, his clothes weren’t where he had thrown them across the room. The sheets were cold but you didn’t expect any less, the only good thing about it was that the pillow still smelt like him; leather and – was that, gun powder?

Whatever it was, he smelt good.

You ripped the sheets from your body, not caring that you were naked; you were taking a shower. Surprisingly, the motel’s water pressure was heavenly, the strength of the water pelted again your skin, rinsing off the suds that clung to your body.

Half way through washing when a pair of arms wrapped around your torso, you squealed and turned in their arms, your arm swung up ready to throw a punch before you realised who it was and relaxed.

‘Dean. Don’t do that!’ You shouted, hitting his chest. ‘I thought you were gone.’

‘Couldn’t stay away from you, pretty girl.’

‘Such a sweet talker.’

‘Only for you.’ He grinned.

You nodded, ‘uh huh, how many women you said that to?’

Dean tipped his head forward, leaning his on your own, ‘women? Just you. Girls that didn’t stand a chance? none. But if it’s any consellation, this is the longest I’ve ever stay and to be honest I don’t wanna leave.’

He kissed the tip of your nose, his lips moving down your jaw, suckling at your neck. ‘I have a feeling that there is a but at the end of that sentence.’

‘I have to leave soon.’

‘And there it is.’

Dean shut off the water, carrying you back out into the bedroom.

He shrugged on his brown faded leather jacket, his mouth never left yours, his tongue licking over the roof of your mouth, swirling with yours.

Dean left not long after, no promises of seeing each other but left behind the best night of your life.

A couple months had passed and you were still adding things to your bucket list, ticking them off a lot more slower as you went. You still lived with your parents and siblings, wanting to spend as much time with them as humanly possible, they thought it was because of the car accident; they were both wrong and right. Close to midnight, it was time for bed the endogenous pacemakers inside you telling your body to shutdown and go to sleep. Getting changed into your pyjamas, you made your way to the bathroom and quickly brushed your teeth. Once spat out and rinsed, you buried yourself under the fluffy, warm quilt, sighing in contentment before closing your eyes. Just as you were about to go into the depths of your dreams, your phone flashed alerting you of an incoming text message. *Go to the window* 'What the hell?' You whispered, mostly to yourself. It was an unknown number. Groaning and whining, you tossed off the sheets with a small flick of your wrist. You were shocked to say the least, you didn't expect the person on the other side of your window to be the guy you had been constantly on your mind, but there he was. 'Dean?' His brown hair was spiked, his green eyes still prominent in low lighting, the leather jacket he wore all those nights ago clung to his back, thrown over a grey tee and a green flannel shirt. He was still the same man from all those months ago, yet he looked like he had aged a few years. His shoulders were hunched like the whole world rested on his shoulders and maybe it did, it could have been a whole different world to yours but his body language said it all; he looked as if he was about to explode. 'Hey,' he whispered, barely able to hold eye contact. 'Hi.' You usher him in silently, sure not to make a lot of sound, hoping that no one in the house has heard a thing. Grabbing his hand, you lead him to your bed, sitting cross legged on top of it, waiting for him to talk. Coughing to clear his throat, he talks 'I'm sorry.' He blurted out in a hushed tone. 'Why?' You laugh. 'I don't know. I text you in the middle of the night, and know where you live, I thought you'd think I was a stalker...or something.' You smirk at his uneasiness, 'nah, I think it's sweet. You went through all that trouble just for me.' Nonchalantly, you shrug like it's not a big deal, internally, you were freaking out. You had wanted to see him again but thought that it was just another one night stand for him, another notch under his belt. One and done. Love 'em and leave 'em. You get the gist. But why was he here now? 'Before I left, I - um - I got your phone number, I was hoping to see you again sooner but something happened. I ended up in the hospital and my dad died saving my life.' His voice broke at the last sentence, trying and failing to keep it together. His head topped forward, trying to conceal the tears that were falling from his eyes. 'I didn't know where else to go.' Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you let him bury his head in the crook of your neck as you ran your fingers through his short locks. 'Shh, Dean. I'm here, okay, I'm right here. I'll stand by you.' With the awkward position you were in, you kept fidgeting, trying to get into a comfortable position, but to no avail. Dean noticed your constant movement and removed himself from your body. 'I'm sorry,' he sniffled, 'I'll go.' 'No, stay.' Shifting back on the bed, you got yourself under the covers and opened it up, waiting for Dean to slide in next to you. Lying on your back, Dean rests his head upon your chest. 'Thank you' You kiss his forehead and snuggle into the mattress beneath you, and Dean on top of you, his full body weight a comfort to your chest, him curled into your smaller frame. Quiet muttering fell from his lips, inaudible ones at that, so you carded your fingers through his hair, humming a random, soothing tube that came straight to mind.

Your parents had come to check on you in the morning, seeing what was taking so long, you were usually up before them. A hot cup of coffee in hand, while you read the newspaper and wrote in your journal.

When you didn't show after two hours, they glanced at each other and shrugged, having their silent conversation. Maybe you were just having an off day, and did your usual but instead in your bedroom. They were stunned when you were wrapped around a man of your age. Dean's arm was around your back and his hand resting on your shoulder, pulling you down to him. Even in his sleep, he couldn't help but cling to you. Your father was going to lose it, he didn't want anyone near his baby girl, even if you were in your twenties. Your mother saw his rugged expression, and put a hand to his chest, effectively pushing him out the door and shutting it behind her. Your father gave your mother a confused look but she only smiled, glancing back at the closed door. 'She loves him.' She simply said. He replied through gritted teeth, 'how do you know?' 'I just do.' Your mother smiled, an grabbed your father's hand, pulling him back down the stairs to leave you be. She had never seen you cling onto someone in your sleep, you barely even did that when you were young. Sure you would snuggle against them every now and then but never clinging to them like they were your life line like now. She couldn't have been more right. Even in the short amount of time you had known the broken man, you did love him and you couldn't help it. Even if you wouldn't admit it to yourself yet.

Waking up, you found yourself in a tangle of limbs, your eyes fluttered open and were met with the most majestic yet sleepy green eyes.

'Hey,' you whispered, your breath softly hitting his face. You smiled against his lips as he pressed them to yours sweetly. 'Hi,' he said back. 'You sleep okay?' Dean's smile softened, you could tell that you might have hit a nerve, maybe he thought you were treating him like a caged animal, one that didn't need to be talked down at. But then he surprised you. 'Yeah, it was nice, you know? Just to let something go. But I still feel guilty, that's not going away any time soon.' With the both of you on your sides, you had no where else to look but at each other. A crease was forming in his brow as you admired his godlike beauty, the crease in which you reached up and stroked your thumb over to get rid of. 'It's okay, you don't have to talk, thank you for sharing even that much. You barely even know me and I get the whole bottling shit up until you explode.' You mumbled a trust me under your breath before you asked Dean if he wanted some breakfast. He muttered a yeah, please into the pillowcase he buried his head into but you caught his muffled response. When you got downstairs, you noticed that your parents were acting strangely, a little stranger than usual. They were whispering to each other in hushed tones, looking and pointing at you. You continued to cook your breakfast a little more than usual due to Dean eating as well but you didn't want them to question it. That was a path you didn't want to go down, especially with your parents. You had finally had it when the whispered became a little louder and you heard an ask her from your father. 'What?! Just spit it out already!' Your parents were taken aback, you rarely ever lost your temper so they must have realised that they had pissed you off to a certain degree. You saw the not so subtle nudge your mother gave to your father. 'Who's the guy?' You blinked at his bluntness, but appreciated that he didn't beat around the bush. You quickly came up with something that wasn't completely a lie, but wasn't the entire truth either. 'He's a friend who needed someone to be there for him. Someone he loved died, then he got drunk and called me so I went to go meet him. He was too intoxicated and we were close so I brought him here. Is that all?' When they nodded that they were done, you turned back to your scrambled eggs and waffles that nearly burned because you weren't paying attention. You quickly dished up two plates and put them in a tray, a coffee for each of you, syrup and whipped cream on the side. Opening your bedroom door, you entered with a tray full, 'not to be alarmed or anything but my parents know your here-' Dean shot up at the mention of your parents, he was beginning to panic a little. 'How?' He interjected quickly. You sighed and told Dean to take the tray from you so you could sit cross legged in front of him the food in between the two of you as you bag an to eat. 'Not sure about that part but I just told them that you were a friend who got drunk and called me for assistance. Sorry.' He cupped your cheek and tilted your head to look at him. 'Hey, there's no need to apologise,' he leaned forward a piece of his waffle still in him mouth, still so fresh that you could taste it as he captured your lips with his; your lips curled against his own plump ones. 'So what's gonna happen now? Do you have to go back?' You asked as your eyes hovered looking over at his own, trying to get a read on what your future with him held. That spell was broken as he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against yours. 'I will do, my brother, he still needs me.' You could feel the tears gathering in your eyes, you didn't want to feel this way but Dean had a pull on you that no other man has had within the time space you had known him. 'I get it. I wish you could stay here but family is important, I know that.' But I'm selfish. 'And I want you to go to your brother. He needs you and you need him.' But I need you too. 'When do you have to leave?' 'Maybe tomorrow. I wanna spend time with you before I go.' 'Can you promise me something?' Dean doesn't do promises but he wants to hear what you have to say. 'What is it?' 'That you'll stick with your brother no matter what,' you sniffled. 'And that if you ever get the time you'll come visit me, even if it's just for a little while?' You know you were asking for way too much, that he shouldn't be promising to see you again when you've only spent two days in his company; not even that. 'I can promise to try. I'll try and come back to you, whenever I can and as for my little brother, I'll always be there for him. I'll do that. For you. For him. For me.' 'What do you wanna do today then?' You asked, trying to change the subject to a more positive note. He shrugged, 'it's up to you, s'your neighbourhood.' 'Well it depends, do you want adventure or relaxation?' You cocked your head to the side as you thought about what there was to do here. 'All about the relaxing now.' 'Okay, um, there's an arcade about three or four miles from here, then we could go out to a diner or have a picnic, if you want. Just a suggestion.' You rambled, scratching at your skin; a nervous habit. Dean's hand covered yours and stopped you from tearing the skin on you hand apart, he smiled softly, easing your nerves. 'How 'bout we do all a those. Picnic first for lunch then go to the arcade, then to the diner for dinner. Maybe we can do something else too.' Without thinking to much into it, you automatically said, 'what would we do?' And then it clicked as he gave you a cheeky smirk, 'oh, ohh!' You giggled, 'yeah we should definitely do that.' He must have been satisfied with that as he his smirk turned into a grin, making his teeth more prominent, portraying his excitement for the day ahead. You continued to eat your breakfast in a comfortable silence, smiling at each other every now and then, looking forward to spending the day together in each other's company. When you were finished you got dressed casually; a tank top, knee length shorts, pair of sneakers, thankful for the warm weather, you completed the look with a blue plaid shirt.

Dean luckily bought an over night bag with some extra clothes that he changed into. He helped you pick out the food and drink to take with you - mostly consisting of junk food and beer - but you could live with it, especially when you only had a few years left. You eanted to enjoy life with him as much as you could.

Dean spent as much time as he could with you, he took care of his brother; so far he kept his promise and for that you were thankful.

It wasn’t until he had to leave for another unknown reason. You didn’t see him for another nine months, you were running out of time. It was dangerous to love Dean the way you did; it was selfish. If you became attached, you would only be hurting yourself in the end. You couldn’t help yourself. Every time you would give yourself a pep talk into pushing him away, he would flash you a smile, kiss you and make all reasonable thoughts drown in your mind. He left you breathless and wanting more, something that he never denied you.

He showed up bloody and bruised, you never knew what he did, but you never pried. It worried you to no end but still you tried your hardest to patch him up and stop the bleeding, doing as he instructed.

Another year passed, Dean came and went, his visits staggered but he was still trying. A few days until end of your ten year death sentence was nye. You thought you were going crazy, you heard scratching at the door and growling. When you looked through the peep hole, you didn’t see anything so shrugged it off and walked away.

This time, you called Dean to see if he was free to spend the next couple of days together, if you were to be happy, it was to be with him. That was your final wish that you quitely spoke to whoever was listening. Someone must have been gracious enough to grant you that as Dean accepted your invitation to spend a week together, just the two of you. You didn’t need a week though.

The growling and scratching became louder. When you asked Dean about it he said he hadn’t heard anything but as he was denying you accusations of the noises, they sounded again. They were more persistent this time, they scratched the bottom of the door off.

‘Oh no,’ your heart dropped, you finally realised what this meant, your time was over.

‘What?’ Dean asked from his position on the couch seeing that you had cowered into the corner, rocking back and forth clutching at your ears, attempting to block out the sound.

‘I’m sorry.’ You cried.

Dean was helpless as he saw the door swing open due to an invisible force. He couldn’t hear, nor see the monster that was after you, but when his senses caught up with him, he was too late. Marks from the hell hound began to to drag down your torso, you fell on the floor, the hell hound ripping your skin to shreds. It was like the air was leaving your body but when Dean tried to help ypu and haul the invisible hound from your body, you were already spewing up blood, coughing on the fresh liquid, spurting over his face as his hands covered your wounds – the ones he could put a hold on anyway.

‘What did you do?’ His eyes searched your eyes, begging you to tell him what was going on but he didn’t know what to do, how to help you. It was beginning to be the end. He was scrutinising you, he knew that these would be your last moments together.

‘Accident...Ten...Demon deal...sorry...love you...’

Dean closed his eyes as he took in your disspersed words and pieced them together; you had sold your soul to save those that were in the accident. You had told him that you loved him. He did all he could think of to do, he pressed him lips to yours one last time The hell hound had torn your skin for the final time, your flesh torn apart, the light from your eyes was slowly dissipating until you took your last breath and the hell hound had left you to meet in hell.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1

120 years later…

‘Dean?’

Part 2? Let me know what you thought

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