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#i can’t stare into his sad sad doe eyes for too long
rubyloops · 18 days
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looking at him is so painful it’s like watching the most terrible horrific car crash but you just can’t pull your eyes away does this make sense am i making a fool of myself
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riality-check · 9 months
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Steve, realistically, shouldn’t even be at this show. He doesn’t care about the band, he didn’t want to make the drive, and he had to bring Anna along because he couldn’t find a babysitter.
But he was going to suck it up to go with Dustin, who immediately bought tickets to see his favorite band when they went on sale. Who called Steve this morning to inform him, somehow both solemnly and frantically, that he had the worst food poisoning known to man, and, that until he stopped puking and shitting at the same time, he could not leave the bathroom.
Steve very much did not need to know that.
With Dustin went the rest of the Babysitters’ Club, all of them having eaten the same shady pizza and suffering the consequences. The only exception was Mike, lactose intolerant but cursed to take care of his idiot friends.
He texted Steve to ask if he had extra bleach. Steve dropped it outside the house because no way in hell was he entering that building.
Dustin assured him, amidst too much detail and shockingly disgusting background noise, that both tickets shouldn’t go to waste, and with no one able to babysit Anna, Steve should take advantage of both.
So, here he is. Standing in the first level - Dustin couldn’t get floor tickets, thank God - of a show for a metal band he has no intention of ever listening to and holding his four-year-old daughter, who has bright pink ear defenders looped around her neck in preparation for when it gets really, really loud.
“When are they starting?” she asks for the fourth time in as many minutes, with a sigh too big for her little body.
“In a few minutes,” Steve says, keeping an eye on the stage, where he watches the crew set up. Mad respect for them hustling so hard. He could never.
The seats are slowly filling up, and Steve feels a little sad for the first opener, a little sad that they don’t have a full house for their set.
A group of four guys takes the seats right next to Steve, with a pale, long-haired, big-eyed guy right next to him. He’s got tattoos on his arms and rings on all his fingers and a silver bar through his upper ear.
And he’s arguing emphatically with his friend next to him.
“I’m telling you, American Psycho is more recognizable!” he says, hands flying. Steve discreetly makes sure he and Anna aren’t within striking distance. “Not to mention cheaper!”
“A prop chainsaw,” his friend - a short white guy with shorter but equally wild hair - says, “can’t possibly be that hard to find by tomorrow.”
“We already have the axe!”
“I’m with Eddie,” the big white guy at the end of their group says. “I’m a sucker for American Psycho.”
“Okay, but I’m the guy who has to use the props,” the fourth friend, a Black guy with short braids who looks annoyed at this conversation, like they’ve had it before. “And I think I’d have more fun with the chainsaw.”
Eddie - the guy with long hair and heavy jewelry and hands with a mind of their own - rolls his eyes. It’s a full body movement, one that has him spinning to face Steve. When he does, his face cycles through a myriad of emotions too fast for Steve to really track.
“Hi, pretty boy,” he says. His eyes then dart down to Anna, who stares at him with her head cocked to the side. “Pretty dad. Dad. Pretty. Hi.”
“Eddie,” the short guy cautions.
“Yeah, sorry, anyway, can you be a tiebreaker for us?”
“Sure,” Steve says. Anna squirms, so he lets her out of his lap to stand, holding her hand all the while. “What do you need?”
“American Psycho or Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” the big guy asks.
“You gotta give him context.”
“No, I don’t, Jeff.”
The guy who said he’d be using the props - whatever that means - rolls his eyes and stops fighting.
“What’s American Psycho?” Anna asks, choosing the best time to pay attention to the conversation, like always.
“A movie you’re too young to see,” Steve says. “And the one I’m picking out of those two.”
“Oh, thank you,” Eddie says, using a tone that better fits Steve saving his drowning dog or something. He then turns to the rest of his friends and says, “I fucking told you!”
Anna gasps. “You’re not s’posed to say that!”
Jeff smothers a laugh behind his hands, while the other three guys stare at Anna, half confused, half admiring.
Eddie clears his throat, looking significantly abashed. "Sorry, Miss-"
"Anna," she says.
"Anna," Eddie finishes. Then he turns to Steve. "And you are?"
"Steve. No Mister for me though. I might be a dad, but I'm not that old."
"You are old, Daddy," Anna says.
Steve frowns down at her, where she stands at his feet. She's smiling, mischievous like she always is when she says something along these lines. "I'm not that old."
"Yeah you are! You're like, you're like, like, fifteen."
Jeff gives up on hiding his laughter.
"I'm older than fifteen," Steve says gently, trying not to laugh.
Anna’s jaw drops. “You are?”
“Thank God for that,” Eddie mutters, then shuts his jaw with an audible click.
Steve tried to come up with an answer for that, but someone comes on a mic and starts playing the drums, so he moves the defenders over Anna’s ears and pays attention to the show instead.
It's... fun, he guesses. Fun if he were into it, maybe. The first opener has a lot of energy, even if the music isn't melodic enough for Steve's taste. He finds himself tapping along to the steady beat, moving slightly in his seat to the music.
It's nice background noise. He'd put this on while he grades papers. It's steady enough to fill his head but doesn't have a whole lot of lyrics he could get distracted by and sing along to.
Eddie and his friends, meanwhile, are having the time of their lives. The short guy - Gareth, Steve thinks his name is - mimes the drum part of each song with startling accuracy. Archie jumps up and down, Jeff absolutely screams along, and Eddie-
Anna stares up at Eddie, eyes wide and jaw slacked as she watches him bang his head to the music.
Steve almost snaps a picture of it, this little moment, before the second song ends and Eddie snaps out of his zone.
He shakes the hair out of his face, then looks down at Anna, who's still staring at him. "What?"
She cocks her head to the side in a mirror of his. "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"The," she pauses, then starts shaking her head really hard, side to side. Steve puts a hand on her shoulder before she slams into the chairs in the row in front of them.
Eddie laughs. "The headbanging?"
"Yeah," Anna says, nodding.
"It's a way I move to the music," Eddie explains.
"Like dancing?"
"Sort of," Eddie says. "It's easier. I look stupid when I dance."
"You're not s'posed to say that," Anna tells him solemnly. "Right, Daddy?"
Steve meets Eddie's eyes. Even with the lights down, they're big and pretty and reflective, and Steve is going to kick himself so hard if he chickens out before he can get his number.
"Right," he says, still looking at Eddie. "We're not supposed to call ourselves stupid."
"Sorry," Eddie whispers.
"Don't be."
Anna tugs on Steve's hand, then Eddie's. "Teach me."
"Anna," Steve cautions.
"Can you please teach me?" she corrects.
Eddie glances down at Anna, then back up at Steve. "If it's-"
"Go ahead," Steve says because Eddie has more than passed the vibe check at this point.
Eddie crouches down as a new song starts up, and while Steve can't hear what he's telling her, he sees her smile, bright as day.
By the last song of the first opener, Anna is headbanging along with Eddie, off-beat in the say little kids always are but more than making up for it with effort.
Steve gives into the impulse to take a picture.
When the first opener finishes, Steve picks Anna back up and takes her ear defenders off.
"Woah," she says. "Can I keep them-"
"Nope," Steve says. "They stay on when the music is on. You heard it fine, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but you-"
"I have my earplugs in," Steve says, pointing at them.
"So do I," Eddie says, and when he moves his hair back, sure enough, there are black earplugs nestled in his ears.
"You don't seem like the kind of guy to wear earplugs," Steve says.
"You don't seem like the kind of guy to come of a metal show," Eddie counters.
Anna climbs out of Steve's arms and onto his back, where she loops her arms around his shoulders and just hangs, like she does sometimes when she gets bored.
Weirdo kid, Steve thinks affectionately.
"That's because I'm not," Steve says. "I was supposed to come with a friend, but he got sick."
"Yikes," Eddie says. "You coming tomorrow, too?"
"I am," Steve says. "Are you?"
Eddie raises his eyebrows, like he didn't expect Steve to ask that. "Yeah, we'll be here. Not in these seats, though."
The lights go back down before Steve can ask what he means by that. He reaches behind him, scoops Anna back down on the ground, and puts her ear defenders on by the time the second opener strikes a scary-sounding opening chord.
Anna doesn't look scared at all. From the moment the music starts, she looks up at Eddie, and when he starts headbanging, she does, too.
Yup. Steve has effectively created a monster.
He contemplates, if Dustin is fine by tomorrow, skipping out on the show and giving his ticket to Anna, but that means not seeing Eddie again.
He really wants to see Eddie again, even if he won’t have the same seats.
Whatever that means.
Steve decides not to focus on that. He decides instead to focus on the moment. He listens to the music. He lets Anna take his hand and dance with it. He bops his head along with hers, but not too hard because he can’t risk aggravating his whiplash.
He enjoys the show, even if it’s not his cup of tea. It’s easy to enjoy the show, with Eddie next to him. It’s easy to enjoy his wild hair and pretty jewelry and big eyes and contagious enthusiasm.
It’s easy to see the way Eddie looks at him.
It’s also very easy, after the venue clears and Anna falls asleep in the car on the way home, to forget to ask for his number.
Shit.
(Part 2 is alive!!)
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atrirose · 2 months
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͏͏𝒗𝒊. ͏MORE THEN JUST FRIENDS ! enha ͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏— ͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏해찬 ͏ ͏& ͏ ͏𝐢
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bsf(?)enha x f!reader. warning. none, kissing in jake’ + fluff wc.0.9k 🐰 seiu?!: after a century i’m writing hcs again yayy
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— HEESEUNG LEE
let’s you bite him, very weird behavior but he has grown used to it, at first he was all confused as to why you feel the need to bite him like a chew toy but it’s okay your best friend(?) get you now, his biceps nom nom, but due to all this he has bite marks all over him which he is least bothered about but he does get asked if he is dating someone a lot which is confusing because why would people just assume he is dating out of the blue “yn you know i have been asked three times today whether im seeing someone and it’s all because of the bite marks you leave, people would think we are dating”
“do you want that to be a reality” he looks at you with wide eyes “are you hearing yourself” — “i am heeseung”
— JAY PARK
wears your hair tie which very bf coded and i wonder why he hasn’t asked you out yet? like which bestie goes around wearing a girls hair tie when he obviously is in the market? wearing it just makes you thing he is taken “do you love my hair tie that much you can’t even return it to me? YOU CANT RETURN MY OWN HAIR TIE TO ME” shoves a piece of cake in your mouth to shut you up “is it bothering that much, i will buy you more” which is weird because why not just return the one he has on his wrist, at this point he just wants be a wife.
“keeps me away from girls you know” oh so now he is just using you as an escape mechanism “keeps me a step closer to you” your ears turned red “so you wanna date me?” you ask
“that’s very multifaceted question” you hit his shoulders “big meanie” he giggled knowing damn well he is down right bad for you
— JAKE SIM
don’t at him but he has kissed you, like a full blown kiss not just a peck, for training purposes right? yes for training purposes so you both don’t seem like complete losers with no experience when you start dating someone, you can at least put each others name on the resume “do you wanna kiss?”
“no” jake looked at you with puppy eyes “why not” just because this is not WHAT NORMAL FRIENDS DO MR.HOT AND GENIUS BESTIES “your breath smells bad” eyes out like that sad hamster on tiktok with violin bg playing “UGH WHATEVER” you kiss him as he smiles between the kisses, knowing you can’t resist him (damn hot mf) “love ya see you after the match”
— SUNGHOON PARK
takes you on dates, and i get that it’s normal but it’s not normal when he is taking you out alone with him every other week to ‘treat you’, because normal friends totally don’t eat at a fancy restaurant together or go on a late night drive without romantic feelings like girl who are you kidding? “don’t you ever think all this dates we go to without our other friends who you reject because you only want to be with me is the reason why people think we are dating”
“yes” he said cuddling you on his bed “and like this is not normal too you cuddling me, WAIT WHAT YES?” he kissed you forehead “yes but we aren’t just friends either you know” butterflies
— SUNOO KIM
cuddles all the time, whether it is out, in school or hanging out at each others houses, you both are all up each others, which has been pointed out so many times but sunoo really doesn’t care, he would rather feel your soft cheeks next to his than hear people about how this can be a whole scandal and lower the chances of you both getting any partners because people think you both are dating “sunoo can i get some water please i’m dehydrated” you try to wiggle out of the sofa you both were cuddling “nooo i will be cold”
“no you won’t be ugh get off me big baby” you try to push him as he gets up “so now you hate me” obviously he is faking it but you feel bad “im not i’m sorry sunoo what do you want me to do”
“date me”
— JUNGWON YANG
unusually long eye contact, and not the staring contest kinda way, but a loving and soft way, like he is expressing how much he loves you by staring at you, even when you are not looking at him he is always admiring you, asked at multiple occasions why he was staring at you and he just replies with ‘can’t i look at my best friend’ like sure so normal for a bestie to look at his bestie with love doe eyes. so the way he looks at you with undivided attention you might think he is listening to everything you are saying but no you got him wrong.
he humming at you talking about some dog you found cute on tiktok but he isn’t actually really listening and registering anything you are saying, he too busy admiring your plump lips that he would give anything to kiss right now “and then a blue cat said heya bro” he still looking at you “hmm that’s cool”
“YANG JUNGWON YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME” you said shaking him “i guess not, it’s hard to control myself from kissing you and still listen to you, i can’t multitask like that”
— RIKI NISHIMURA
has your face as his alternate face lock id, also lets you use his phone, you want his phone real quick okay have it, you want to see through his photos okay have it, you want to use his insta okay use it, the only thing you are off limits is the boys gc because shady business goes down there, people really think you are dating your bestie and how he is the most honest and trustworthy bf ever? like no he has thousands of feet pics in his camera roll and you haven’t heard any explanation from him yet? how is he honest.
“you are going through my dms?” riki asks as you play around with his phone “yeah and if that bothers you don’t worry im texting this pretty girl who slide in your dms, soon you would have a cute girlfriend all because of my rizz” he snatched his phone from your hands “what the hell i thought i blocked her? yn why are texting her-”
“why? did you get offended? i’m sorry i shouldn’t have, no matter how close we are” he face palms like an old man done with everything “i’m not offended because you texted her, i’m offended at the fact that i have such a dumb friend who can’t see i want her more then just friends” there star struck aren’t you
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please please i’d like to request a carmy blurb with the dialogue prompt “Don't go on that date” ❤️
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Divine Timing.
carmy berzatto x female reader
warnings - cursing
written for my 5k celebration - post here, masterlist here. inbox here.
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He’s in a bad mood.
Technically, he’s always in a bad mood. But this is the worst you’ve seen him in a long time.
He’s screamed at Richie, belittled Marcus and pissed off Tina in the span of approximately five minutes, and everyone is tired. So, they enlist your help.
You speak fluent Carmy, Syd had said once. You’re the only one he listens to.
So, the next time he shouts, you shout back. Louder.
“Sydney, what the fuck are you doing?” he yells bitterly.
“Carmen, if you don’t stop fucking screaming, I’ll smack you so hard in front of everyone - I swear to fucking God.”
You yell back at a volume that shocks even Richie. The Beef stands still, everyone too afraid to move. Carmy is startled, stuck in place.
“We’re taking five,” you tell him, linking your fingers into his. “Come on.”
You drag him outside, sitting him down in his usual spot. You grab a water bottle and throw it at him, raising your eyebrows in a gesture that says drink it or else. He does as he’s told.
You let him wallow in the silence for a while, calming down slowly but surely. You look over, expecting to see him still angry, or frustrated. Instead, he just looks sad.
You move to sit next to him, turning your body so you can see his face clearly.
“What’s the matter, Carm? What’s got you so riled up today, hmm?”
“Nothin’” he replies, kicking his shoe into the ground. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Does matter. You can’t take your feelings out on everyone in the kitchen, you know. It isn’t fair.”
“I know.”
Your phone make a noise, and you check the screen quickly before shoving it back in your pocket.
“Anyone important?”
“Nah. Just the guy I’m meant to be seeing later, checking in to see if I’m still good.”
Carmy tenses, whole body going rigid beside you. You feel it, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Listen, Carm. If you don’t wanna tell me what’s bothering you, then fine. But you’ve got to work it out in your own time - not in the fucking kitchen. Got it?”
He’s quiet for a moment, deep in thought. Finally, he speaks.
“Don’t go on that date.”
Your head whips around in disbelief.
“What?”
He ducks his head, willing the ground to swallow him whole.
“Don’t go on that date. Please.”
“Is that… is that what’s got you all upset?”
He scoffs and immediately regrets it, looking at you with softness in his eyes that’s rare as diamonds.
“Yeah.”
“Carmen… why?”
He takes a deep breath, gaze never leaving yours.
“It’s been eating me up, the idea of you going out with some guy. I wanted to tell you how I felt, but… I didn’t want it to be awkward, when you didn’t feel the same way. We work together, we see each other every day, and I didn’t wanna fuck up our friendship.”
“So… you took your anger out on everyone else?”
“Yeah, fuck. I didn’t mean to. Think I just bottled up my feelings too much.”
“Who says I don’t feel the same way?”
Carmy chokes on his breath, staring at you in disbelief.
“You… wait- what?”
“Anyone can see that I like you, Carm. I have since the day I met you and you flashed me one of those million dollar smiles of yours.”
He gives you one now, all bright and bashful.
“This is the last time anything like this happens, you hear me? From now on, you talk to me. And I’ll talk to you. It goes both ways.”
He nods, agreeing wholeheartedly.
“Here’s the deal, Berzatto. You go in there and apologise individually to each and every person you’ve been a dick towards today, and I’ll cancel my date with the douchebag I didn’t wanna see anyway.”
“And you’ll date me instead.”
You laugh, head thrown back and eyes crinkling.
“Fine. But only if the apologies are super heartfelt.”
He shakes his head, chuckling from deep within his chest. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he presses a kiss to your temple.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For yelling at me back there. I needed it.”
You smile, leaning into him.
“You���re so welcome.”
“It was super hot, too.”
“Shut up, Berzatto,” you chide, but you can’t fight the grin that etches itself on your face.
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strawberrystepmom · 6 months
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gojo x f!reader. woke up tender don’t look at me.
“Stop looking at me.”
The statement comes from your side of the bed, your half of the duvet you share with Satoru pulled over your chin, your eyes still closed and your lashes resting against your soft cheek. Your voice is raspy, throat dry from sleeping, and he simply chuckles next to you.
“How do you know what I’m looking at? Your eyes are closed.”
They are but the fact he has rolled over onto his side facing you and has been that way for at least ten minutes makes whatever point he’s been trying to make moot. You felt him shift when he first moved and you snuggled further into the bedding covering you, refusing to allow him to interrupt the last bits of sleep you’re entitled to.
Despite this, you can’t just go back to sleep and let him have the last word.
“You aren’t the only one with great perception around here, genius.” One of your arms slips over the top of your covers and reaches out to lightly flick the tip of his nose but he stops you halfway, capturing your hand in his and pressing your palm to his puckered lips.
You may be grumpy before 9 am but it’s hard to remain that way when he presses another kiss into your palm, this one accompanied by an exaggerated smack which makes you giggle. He does it again and takes a deep breath, again dramatic and grand, and continues the process until your giggle becomes a full blown laugh. Sleepy eyes open, blinking and watery, and meet his that are already crinkling at the corners from how hard he’s smiling looking at you.
“I’m up, are you happy?”
He hums and kisses your palm again, grin spreading across his face.
Morning suits you so well it’s a mystery to him why you hate it so much, warm light pouring over your face and body from the bedroom window and illuminating someone he’s already certain is an angel with a heavenly glow. How can he not stare until he has had his fill? The unfortunate thing about Satoru is that he doesn’t think he ever will, as gluttonous and greedy when it comes to you as he is those cream and strawberry filled sweets he brings home.
“Yes. I was lonely.”
You groan and roll your eyes but roll over onto your side to face him anyway. He will never tell you outright when he’s feeling wrong - sad or lonely or tired - but you are good at reading between the lines considering how often you speak in riddles yourself. The truth between these lines? He likely tossed and turned all night and has spent far longer than the last quarter of an hour staring at you and pondering what it means to love you, the divine gift he feels unworthy of receiving but is far too selfish to allow another to take.
Reaching out, you cup his cheek in your warm palm and his eyes shut reflexively. You rub your thumb over the skin of his cheek and while he’s distracted you lift your other arm from beneath the blanket and reach across your body to flick the tip of his nose playfully.
“You should be thanking me for being here to save the day,” you joke and he chuckles, unable to find the drama to react to you flicking his nose because of how happy he feels for the first time in hours.
The small gap between your bodies closes and he pulls you to his chest, kissing the top of your head. You nuzzle against him and he gently rocks you.
“Yeah, thanks or whatever. Not like I needed you or anything.”
You giggle, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Another kiss to your forehead. Satoru begins giggling wildly and you unbury your face from his chest, slightly concerned about what you’re going to look up to see but all you’re met with is a grin and eyes as clear as a cloudless sky.
“Just kidding,” he whispers, dragging the last syllable of the word for dramatic effect. He extends it for as long as he can until you shake your head and press your palm against his mouth.
“Good morning!” His greeting is muffled by your palm and you laugh when he takes liberties to keep kissing the soft skin through his own fit of giggles.
You may not be a morning person but every morning is easier when it is spent by his side.
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literaila · 7 days
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How would gojo propose? Would he be serious or would he lock in and ask 👁️👁️
there is not one single proposal. oh no.
it’s starts off fairly simple—
“you have to fold it at an angle so that it doesn’t bunch up when you—“ you glance at satoru out of the side of your eye, sighing. “are you even listening to me, satoru?”
“marry me.”
and you drop the sheet in your hands. you turn to him, eyes as wide as can be. “excuse me?”
“marry me?” he’s smiling at you, leaning down so that you’re eye to eye. “please?”
you blink at him. staring for just a moment. the laugh that falls out of your mouth next is nothing short of bewildered, disbelieving. “i can’t—“ you scoff, returning to your sheet which satoru is supposed to be learning how to fold. “no, thank you.”
he pouts. “no? why not?”
you laugh again, kissing his cheek. “nice try, baby.”
and then he stands there with his arms crossed, just staring at you for almost an hour.
or maybe it’s date night and you’re just walking down the street, and satoru points out a lantern that’s bouncing colors off of the wall, a rainbow of light on both of your faces.
and you’re walking arm in arm, just looking at each other.
“marry me,” satoru whispers, his voice lithe and warm, something tangible.
you’re already smiling at him, so you don’t stop. “are you flirting with me?”
“c’mon, just one little marriage. i’ll even buy you a cake. and a ring.”
“wow. that’s a temping offer.”
“marry me?” he repeats, stopping you so that you’re just looking at him.
looking at the light in his eyes, and the colors on his face, turning his skin all sorts of magic.
“i’m think i’m going to pass.”
he groans, almost falling into you. “why not?”
“that’s just too easy, satoru,” you say, kissing his cheek, and then you drag him along as you resume your walk.
the colors fade, and so does satoru’s dejection. your smile is too contagious for him to keep up the act for long.
but then it molds into something else—far more desperate.
you’ll just be opening the fridge, looking inside.
“did tsumiki already pack her lunch?” you’ll ask him.
and satoru will nod. “yes. marry me.”
you just roll your eyes, shutting the door.
or you’ll be in the shower and satoru knocks on the door, peeking a head in. “what time will you be ready?” he asks.
“half an hour?”
“okay…” there’s a pause.
“satoru?” you ask, when you don’t hear the door shut.
“marry me?”
you scoff. “go check on megumi.”
or you’ll be in the store and satoru will put another carton of ice cream in the cart, which you scold him for.
“put it back.”
“only if you marry me.”
“i want you to redact that sentence in the next three seconds—“
or you’ll be exorcising a curse, just finishing up, still panting when you get a phone call. “satoru?”
“marry me.”
“do you actually need something? i’m kind of busy.”
“yes. marry me.”
“i’m hanging up.”
and this goes on for months. it will spread into a year, and at some point you stop feeling guilty for rejecting him every time, and satoru stops looking sad each time you do.
it’s like a habit, some weird tradition the two of you have. you come to anticipate it. appreciate it for what it is—easy, something ridiculous.
megumi personally hates it. “she already said no,” he’ll grunt at satoru, passing him through the door. “just get over it.”
tsumiki just sits there, waiting expectantly every time like the answer will be different. but it never is.
and then there’s one day. you’re both at jujutsu high, both working, and satoru just happens to be sitting on the steps of the entrance.
it’s been a long day for him. maybe something happened with one of his students, or maybe yaga said something just to get under his skin.
or maybe it’s just one of those days—the ones where memories cling to his skin like dirt.
it’s hard being here, sometimes.
and you’ve been looking for him for twenty minutes (because you always have lunch together) when you finally find him.
“hey,” you say, hand going to his shoulder as you approach. satoru doesn’t flinch because he heard you coming. “not hungry?”
he just shakes his head.
and there’s something about him, sitting there with his legs spread out, chin resting on a hand, staring off into the distance like he’ll never be able to see far enough.
he looks like a boy, for just a moment. a boy you used to know well—a boy you fell in love with, almost a decade ago, now.
and you smile, but only a little. because it’s always been easy to be here with him, even when he’s this quiet, and even when his eyes are this haunted shade.
so you’ll sit there, sipping on some tea you brought out—a soda you brought satoru sitting between the two of you.
your thighs are just barely touching, hands inches away from each other. you could cozy up to him, remind him that everything is okay—somehow. but you won’t.
sometimes you just have to sit with it.
but eventually, you’ll start to get goosebumps for sitting outside for too long, and you can hear satoru sniffing as his nose runs.
so you sigh, looking to him. “satoru,” you whisper, voice lilted like you have a secret to share.
he looks over, face mercifully blank. “hmm?”
“will you marry me?”
and then satoru’s face stills. the air is calm, the wind shifting, and he turns right towards you.
it takes a couple of seconds, but his face is like the flash of a camera, sullen one moment, and lively the next.
his incoming smile is almost intoxicating.
“really?” he asks, almost breathless.
you laugh, moving over to him, finally wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your cold face into his neck. “next time you ask,” you tell him, “you better make it count.”
and satoru only smiles, wrapping an arm around you.
“okay,” he says.
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help-itrappedmyself · 2 months
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Dead On Main part 7
Masterpost
dedicated to @cervinebotanist and @leafyeyes417 for responding so quickly and with such enthusiasm to part 6. Thank you for the encouragement and support.
Danny takes a deep breath. He can hear scrambling from somewhere else in the car, but he can’t pay attention to what’s happening as he focuses inward. He closes his eyes, and reaches inside himself.
Jason has a tiny baby core! Danny almost coos at it, but it’s so underdeveloped that he’s sad instead. Danny can feel ectoplasm in himself, in Jason’s body. But it isn’t enough. This ectoplasm has been reused, reduced, recycled one too many times. It’s got barely enough to stay alive left in it. Jason is mostly being sustained by his human half right now. It feels like play-doh that turns to dust where it should stretch, dried-out and old. It makes him even more sad. And slightly ill. But the sadness makes the rioting ectoplasm calm back down inside him.
Danny opens his eyes. He’s slightly disoriented, but calm now, eyes no longer glowing. They had stopped the car. He looks at Tim, who is leaning against his door and braced against it and Dick’s chair, giving Danny as much space as possible. His hand is almost on the door handle and his tablet on the floor. Dick and Bruce are exchanging panicked looks in the front seat, both now unbuckled for some reason and completely turned to face the backseat.
“Hey, speaking of ectoplasm, this body really needs some.” Danny informs them. “If it doesn’t get some new ectoplasm soon his core is going to cease functioning, and that would be really bad, and possibly irreversible.” 
“Uhhh.” Dick’s panicked look is turning straight to confusion, as is everyone else’s. “What?” 
“I didn’t realize that Jason was, I mean he had mentioned he died, but he- well, I guess I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone either. Does make it easier to talk about since we’re the same, but of course we couldn’t have known yet. But his core needs some help, do you not have access to ectoplasm back home?” Danny is rambling, brain spinning at the thought of how much he and Jason have in common. This big thing that no one else would truly understand by each other. And Vlad, sort of, but nobody likes Vlad. “It’s amazing that we ended up soulmates. He’s only the third person in the world I’ve even heard about with this condition. How long has he been without ectoplasm? Is he having trouble finding any, or does he not know he needs it? Either way, I’m giving him some as soon as possible.” Danny doesn’t know whether he should freak out over that fact that his soulmate is as dead as he is, that he’s currently dying from lack of ecto, or that his soulmate’s entire family is probably going to end up learning about him and ghosts, or the fact that he is currently taking another body that the GIW is going to want to study straight to them. All of these things seem like great reasons to freak out on their own, so all together he is just panicking.
Danny doesn’t seem to be able to breathe. 
“Hey, come on, that’s fine, you can totally give Jason some… ectoplasm.” Dick says.
“Danny, you have to breathe, okay.” Tim is much calmer than Dick, so Danny focuses on him as Bruce and Dick whisper in the front. “Danny, match my breathing.” Danny stares at Tim, who is making very exaggerated breathing movements, and tries to time his breathing to match. “We’ll figure everything out, but we don’t need to do it right now.” Tim is still helping Danny, talking calmly, but he says this with enough force to distract the two in the front seat enough for them to shut up for a second. Danny appreciates the bit of silence.
“You need to start driving.” Danny, tells Bruce. “Right now, his human half is sustaining the rest of him almost entirely. If Jason doesn’t get more ecto soon, his other half will die, and I’m not sure what will happen to his human side if that happens. He may die again completely.”
There’s a beat of silence in the car. Bruce stares right into Danny’s eyes.
“You are saying there is an active threat to my son’s life, ” Bruce asks, voice hard. 
Danny nods. Then everyone is buckled back in and Bruce is pulling them back onto the road. 
“You know what’s happening and how to help him?” Bruce asks, voice steady but Danny can sense all the emotion underneath. Bruce is really worried right now, he looks around the car and realizes that Dick and Tim are as well. They both have phones out, but are tense, tuned into his conversation with Bruce.
“Yeah, It’s a simple enough fix, I’m just worried because he’s really…” Danny takes a moment to think of the right word. “Ecto deficient? His core is definitely malnourished, and his body and mind definitely need it. They are being sustained with human stuff for now, but eventually that won’t be enough.” 
“How urgent is this?”
Danny feels for Jason’s core, feeling like he’s invading his privacy, but without other options to check. It’s not cracked, but it’s not fully formed either. Half starved baby core, not even strong enough to present. Its link to an obsession is strong, but frayed enough that Danny can’t tell what it is. The core is not strong enough to produce it’s own ecto, even in response to the obsession being fulfilled. Everything is stable, but strained.
“I’m not an expert, but he’s sustained himself this long. And we’re already on the way. We should be fine, but I’ll keep an eye on it just in case.”
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p3terparker · 3 months
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𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: leon is too shy to make a move on you
𝘄/𝗰: 0.7k
𝗮/𝗻: this is my first leon fic and i haven’t written in months so please be nice to me 😭 i hope you guys enjoy!! ♡
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it’s no secret leon is shy. ever since the beginning of your relationship– which was months ago– you were always the one to initiate things between you two, not just sexually. he was too shy even to hold your hand or start a cuddle session. you don’t mind that; in fact, you even find it quite cute how he starts to blush when you do something as simple as kissing him on his cheek, but sometimes you don’t always want to be the one to make a move, which is why you had completely deprived him of any physical touch.
you can tell he’s bothered. he’s been staring at you as soon as you two sat on the couch together and put on your guy’s favorite TV show. he not so subtly coughs to get your attention too, but you choose to ignore that as you hold back a giggle. it’s obvious he wants to cuddle, but you’re not going to give him what he wants unless he does it himself.
as the show progresses to the next episode, you finally decide to speak up after feeling his eyes on you throughout the entirety of the first episode.
“you need something leon?” you ask while looking away from the TV you were watching.
“w-what? oh um, no. why do you ask?” he stumbles over his words as a slight blush creeps over his face.
“because you’ve been staring at me ever since you got home” you giggle
“oh.. sorry” he murmurs out timidly while finally looking away from your face and towards the TV.
that was the last thing that was said before the next episode started and you were engulfed in the show you were watching again.
it didn’t take long for his attention to fall back onto you, staring at you in disbelief because you’re not giving him what he wants. it’s killing you inside to not just wrap yourself in his arms, but you have to stand strong. you continue watching your show for another 15 minutes before leon finally reaches his breaking point.
“why are you doing this to me?”
you pause the show and get a good look at his face. he has a small pout and a look of sadness painted all over his face which causes you to feel a twinge of pain in your chest.
“doing what?”
“ignoring me”
“i’m not–”
“yes you are. you didn’t give me a hug or kiss when i got home and now you’re not cuddling with me like you always do” he cuts you off and lets the words pour out frustratedly.
you kind of feel bad but at the same time can’t help yourself from laughing at how frustrated he is over an issue he could’ve avoided by just making a move on you.
“you know you could’ve kissed me and cuddled me yourself, right?”
now he’s silent because you just called him out.
“yeah but… i don’t know how” he timidly says.
“what do you mean you don’t know how?”
“you make me nervous. you’re my first relationship and i don’t know how to initiate anything between us without making things awkward” he quietly states, barely able to make eye contact with you.
“aww leon, come here” you say while finally embracing him. you can feel the tension release from his body as soon as he lays his head on your chest.
“you could never make things awkward between us leon. and as for me making you nervous, do you know how nervous you make me? like seriously, you’re insanely hot and also have the sweetest personality ever”
“stoppp” he whines but gives you a look that tells you he secretly loves what you’re saying.
“alright alright, but i'm serious leon. nothing you say or do could make things awkward between us. you don’t know how much i want you to initiate something for once, i’m tired of practically wearing the pants in our relationship” you laugh while semi-joking.
you don’t know if it’s the entirety of the little speech you gave him or the comment about you wearing the pants in your relationship that caused a change in his demeanor, but suddenly he flipped your position to where he has you pinned beneath him on the couch and passionately kissed you.
“who’s wearing the pants now?”
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laiiaaa · 9 months
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grocery trips with Carmen are so special to me. u don't understand.
When he lived alone he rarely bothered to make dignified trips—this much you knew, because the first time you were over his old apartment you had to ask if he ate anything in his time off. All he had was a sad loaf of bread, some condiments, chips, and a few cans of soda. But now that you’re living together, in a new place with a new fridge and a new kitchen, he takes it very seriously. 
He keeps a handwritten list so he doesn’t forget anything, he has a steadfast route he follows every time, and he leads the way while you push the cart and trail behind. Definitely gets caught in his own world looking at produce, but keeps a hand tethered to the end of the cart just to make sure you’re still there. Mumbles to himself about how the fuckers keep hiking up the prices for stuff that’s in season, and if you ask him what he said, he’ll just tell you, “It’s nothin’, baby” and go right back to talking to himself with a furrowed brow. 
He’s exceedingly particular about how he arranges the cart, stares at it for a few seconds when he adds a few things just to make sure everything computes. But every time, he looks back at you with a half smile before moving a few steps closer and pressing a kiss to your forehead, or your cheek, or your temple, as his hand rubs affectionately on your shoulder. He can’t get enough of the way you trail behind him, arms leaning against the cart’s handle as you chat about your plans for the week, or the hot goss at work, or anything else that piques your interest. He just wants to listen to what’s on your mind while he ticks off products on his list.
A bittt of a control freak, too. Not in the sense that he won’t let you do anything or pick up a snack you want, just that he has to work it into his route first. Doesn’t like it when you wander off to grab something right away and he honestly gets insecure about it, starts thinking he’s boring you or taking too long or that he’s being too hard on you.
“It took me ten seconds, Carm, it was just in the next aisle.”
“No, no, I know that, I just, um…” He nods his head persistently, hands on his hips and eyes downcast—that classic look he gets when he’s thinking too hard about something. “Y’know, if—you don’t have to come, if you don’t want to…y’know I can—” Stumbling for the way to word the thoughts he can’t fully wrap his head around himself. "If you don't like it—"
“Hey—” You wait for him to meet your eyes, and when he does, you soften. Stepping close to him, you pry one of his hands away and instead tangle it with yours. “C'mon, I love doing this with you, y’know?”
He lets out a careful breath, and his chest relaxes at your tenderness.
“I want to be here, just following you around. I just wanna spend time with you, okay Bear?”
He pauses, has to swallow what you say before he can respond. “Yeah,” he nods, “Okay.”
“Good.” 
When you press a kiss to his cheek, he gives one right back to you, keeps it sweet and brief as a soft smile curls at the corners of his mouth, chest warm and calm before getting back to business. 
Does not, under any circumstances, let you pay. Won't let you open your purse. Doesn’t want you lifting even a finger to line up items on the conveyor belt. No, not that bag of chips you snagged, either. If you start helping he’ll nudge you away from the cart and take your spot, or just take whatever you’re holding out of your hands while shooting you a look.
“I got it, baby.”
“But I wanna help.”
“Uh-uh, I’m takin’ care of it—”
“I can lift a bag of apples—”
He raises his brows again and cocks his head to the side, making you freeze. “Just lemme do it for us, aight?”
You huff but concede anyway. “Fine.”
Yet another kiss to your temple, and he’s pulling out his wallet to grab his card. “Thank you, baby.”
After that it’s borderline criminal for you to even think about helping. He pushes the cart to the car, loads the bags in the trunk, drives home, carries the groceries up to the apartment, stocks everything where it belongs. Kisses you sporadically along the way, maybe lets himself get distracted when you pull him back for more. Just maybe.
He takes care of it—all of it—for you, because you being with him makes him more content than he’s ever been, and ever thought he could be. He's so in awe of you that nothing feels like quite enough to express it.
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citrustan · 6 days
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slipping through my fingers [4] (myg)
title: and the hits keep coming 2.0
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pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst!, fluff, smut summary: just when you thought yoongi couldn't surprise you anymore, it happens again. warnings: [other parts should be read before this one] a lot more feelings of insecurity and sad vibes, yoongi stepping over oc's boundaries, oc being disrespected yet again (nothing new nothing changed same old shit same old fucking shit)
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You were tempted to ignore him, but with Nao involved, you couldn’t avoid dealing with him.
“You should go eat. I can just talk to him for you…?” Taehyung suggests as he watches you contemplate your next move.
That would be great help to you. While you couldn’t afford to avoid him forever, maybe a few days wouldn’t hurt. So, with an overwhelming and shaky sigh, you passed the phone to him.
He hurriedly motions for you to leave the room. And you reluctantly do so.
Taehyung scrunches his nose and shuts the door in your face.
Fighting the urge to hold a glass against the door, you forced yourself to wait in the kitchen till he was done.
On the other side of the door, Taehyung angrily exhales, taking his own sweet time to answer your phone. Then the call drops.
Not even a second later, the loud ringtone fills the room once again. It reeks of desperation.
“Hello?”
No response.
He tries again, “Hello?”
“…Taehyung?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
After another pause, the voice scoffs, “Figures.”
A bit taken aback, Taehyung bit his tongue, “What do you want?”
Taehyung hears nothing back. “Yoongi? Why’d you call?”
“I called _____, not you.”
“Well, she can’t talk now.”
Now it was Yoongi’s turn to bite back. “This has nothing to do with you, Tae. I just need to talk to her.”
“You can’t. You have me instead. What more do you have to say?”
There’s yet another long pause.
“How is she?”
Taehyung almost laughs in disbelief, “You can’t be serious. How do you think, Yoongi? Is the future Mrs. Min okay with you asking about your ex?”  
“Careful, Taehyung-”
“Does everyone else know already?”  
“Of course not, I went straight to _____’s. And nobody can know about it either. We’re not ready. I just…”
Taehyung grew more confused the longer Yoongi took to speak.
“I need to talk to her, Taehyung. I really… I messed up.”
“Did something more happen?”
Another pause.
“No. I just had to check in… Can I come by tomorrow? I still need to drop Mimi off.”
“Uh… right, about that. Listen…” Taehyung thinks for a second, “I think, maybe it’d be better if you just let her breathe for a moment. And I’ll come get Naomi.”
Another pause.
“Did she ask for that?”
Taehyung had half a mind to lie about it but he refrained, deciding that the truth would hurt him more. “You know she’d never. She’s too… stupid-” Stupidly in love with you. “-and you need to stop taking advantage of her; you need to hold back, Yoongi. You can’t go running to her for everything anymore.”
Yoongi knew he was in the wrong, but was annoyed that Taehyung was the one to tell him that.
Still a little in denial, he childishly spits, “Fine, bye. Get here before 7.”
Taehyung wanted to retaliate but he was immediately met with a little digital sound indicating that Yoongi had hung up on him.
A little bemused, Taehyung pulls your purple Samsung away from his ear and stares at it--- “So fucking typical.”
As Taehyung steps out of your room, he almost bulldozes you down.
“Jesus, _____.” Frowning, he asks, “Were you eavesdropping?”
You shook your head and wordlessly waved a jar of tiramisu in front of his nose.
Taehyung eyes you suspiciously, “I’m going to pick Naomi up tomorrow.”
When he says that, your face visibly drops. You didn’t actually expect Yoongi to pull away so fast. Was his girlfriend already keeping him from you now? You almost wanted to smack yourself in the head for thinking like you owned him.
Taehyung debates on whether he should elaborate or wait to see if you ask about it.
But you just gently and nonchalantly nod, “Right, of course. That’s okay. Please bring her here by 7.”
“He didn’t ask for this!” Taehyung blurts.
Your expression doesn’t change.
A little intimidated, he looked straight at his feet and explained, “I offered to pick her up. But Yoongi called because he wanted to talk to you. I just told him that I thought it was a bad idea.”
When he doesn’t hear you react, he slowly looks up at you, suddenly feeling miniscule. And he swore he could see steam coming out of your ears.
Taking a deep breath, you stare into his eyes, “You need to stop overstepping. You’ve done it once already. You need to stop.”
He almost felt the heat radiating from you.  
Almost as if he didn’t actually expect you to react so negatively, he asks, “_____... You’re really mad about this?”
You slam your jar on the coffee table and storm off into the kitchen.
“The first time you meddled, Yoongi left me. The second time, he happened to meet his future wife. What’s it going to be now?”
Taehyung was stunned, “Are you kidding me? Are you just mad that I’m looking out for you in ways you yourself wouldn’t or do you really believe that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you planned it all,” you glare at him accusingly.
Too stunned to digest what you accused him of, his eyes just widened in bewilderment. “_____. I- Planned what, _____?”
You tip your head forward in mockery, “Planned what? Take a guess.”
The room fills with silence once more.
Taehyung shook his head, “I’m going to ignore all of that. And fine, I’ll ask him to call you back then.”
“No!” – “No?” He parrots.
“I don’t want him to call me.” You almost whine. You don’t even know what you truly want. (Actually, you do.)
“Okay.” Taehyung nodded reassuringly, his hands grasping at your elbows, “He won’t. I’ll bring Naomi back tomorrow. Okay?” But you shook your head obstinately, “No, I want her back now.”
“Right now?” - “Now.”
“_____...” He looked at the grandfather clock on your wall.
Cringing a little, Taehyung attempts to reason with you, “_____, it’s Yoongi’s turn to have her.”
“Yeah, that’s a spoken agreement, not a written and notarized thing. He can’t stop me from wanting to spend time with my daughter.” You’re sure this is evil _____ speaking and it’s as if you can’t control her.  
Taehyung nervously cracks his knuckles. He doesn’t have a counter argument. You are Naomi’s mother and arguably the primary caretaker after all. He figures he owes you this.
“So, will you get her back for me?” You weren’t really giving him an option.
Taehyung knew your word was final. Either way, he wouldn’t police you on being a mother. “Let me give Yoongi a call, okay?”
“You do that. I’ll make you something to eat before you go!” You smile sweetly.
Not quite sure of your strategy here, all you knew was that you wanted your daughter with you. It was your way of gaining some control back in your life. You don’t have it in you to think of whether or not this was ethical or right. You just did not want to spiral.
From the kitchen, you could faintly hear Taehyung on the phone.
You take note of his assertiveness and slap some extra mortadella on his sandwich. He deserved it for putting up with you. You couldn’t think of anyone else who’d still be with you and handle your mood swings.
Was that normal or just sad? You do not want to think.
In your mind, you were satisfied in life. Sometimes you regret bringing up marriage with Yoongi. Maybe if you hadn’t forced the idea on him, you could’ve been in Hyejin’s place now.
The fact that you’re even in this position is ridiculous. Sooner or later you’d have to face… everything. The reason they’re getting married and you aren’t. The fact that they might have Nao be a part of their wedding and you’d just have to smile and nod, that Nao may have another parental figure, that you won’t be Yoongi’s bride or a bride at all, ever, and that maybe you’ve lost Yoongi’s companionship forever.
You had to step out for a bit.
Right at that moment, Taehyung emerges from the living room into the kitchen.
Sighing, he starts, “So, he agreed. He wants to know if everything’s okay. Of course, I know it isn’t but I told him he had nothing to worry about. And he didn’t buy it.” –
You push the little ceramic plate towards him, “Eat your sandwich.”
Taking a large bite out of it, Taehyung thanks you and adds, “--- by the way, your food is on the dining table, I didn’t actually give it away, you know?”
“I saw it,” you confirmed, “Jus’ not hungry.”
Quickly changing the topic back to Nao, you ask, “So, can Nao be back now or…?”
“Yeah. Here’s the thing…” He stalled. “Nao’s coming now.”
A gulp. You think he’s swallowing his food.
“Yoongi’s coming with.”
‘Why do you always bring me bad news?’ is what you wanted to ask. Instead, you squeak out a “When?”
“Twenty minutes? Told me Nao was already dolled up or something.” He finishes his sandwich and washes the plate.
In a soothing tone, Taehyung proposes, “Why don’t you head down to the pâtisserie? I’ll receive them. You don’t have to worry about seeing him, okay?”
You appreciated his offer but chose to decline it, “No. It’s okay. I need to tidy up anyway,” – “_____, I’ll do it for you. I know how you like it. Go take a walk or grab a sweet treat or something, yes?”
“No, it’ll take too long for you to do it by yourself. You can help me though. Just do my bed, please?” You’re already walking off.
Taehyung follows you into your room but doesn’t have a chance to stop you, you’re already stripping down and into your ‘serious cleaning’ clothes. It’s just an old dress and rubber gloves.
Sometimes, Taehyung mourns what you and Yoongi could have been. You’re perfect for each other. The two of you just needed to work on your communication a little. He’s thinking about how much of you Yoongi’s missing out on and can’t help but scoff. In pop culture terms, he really fumbled you.
Suddenly you gasp, “Did you watch me change?” Aimed at the man.
“No!” Vehemently shaking his head, he repeats, “Not intentionally! I was zoned out!”
“Wow, calm down, I don’t mind, you know that.” You smile sweetly once again.
Grabbing a pillow, he sighs. Sometimes, he thinks you toy with him on purpose. He really can’t tell.
 ₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊
Forty minutes go by yet there has been no sign of Nao or Yoongi. No calls or messages, no updates whatsoever.
You ought to get Nao a little phone for herself. How had you not thought of this before? It’ll probably be a lot more useful now.
You were nervously readjusting the doilies in a circle over and over again when the doorbell suddenly rang.
Taehyung’s resting figure suddenly snapped upright, “I’ll get it.”
However, you were closer to the door and got to it before he could take two steps.
When you open the door, you wished Taehyung would’ve beaten you to it. You wish you had taken that walk or chosen to buy yourself a sweet drink; because you couldn’t even have guessed what was waiting for you on the other side of the door.
Nothing could have prepared you to see your ex-boyfriend with his current girlfriend and your daughter. Together. All of them. Holding hands. In front of you for the very first time. All of them.
While Yoongi had the decency of looking literally anywhere but in your eyes, you couldn’t say the same about his girlfriend. Fiancée.
Hyejin, placed between your daughter and your ex, exhaled a dreamy smile. “I hope you don’t mind me intruding, _____! Nao-chan wanted to show you our matching hairstyle!”
Bewildered and wordless, all you could do was smile and nod. You mechanically turn your head to look at Nao, who sported a baby pink lock of hair amongst her regular, natural hair identical to Hyejin’s.
You nodded and stepped aside, briefly bumping into Taehyung who looked just as uncomfortable as Yoongi, making space for the lovely family to step into your home. Your eyes were glued to your feet.
Just like always, before you take a drastic step, your daughter grounds you as she runs to you and clings to your lower half. Although, the pink strands of hair brushing against you almost make you lose it all. Almost.
Following which Taehyung breaks the tension by awkwardly, yet warmly greeting the pair, taking a load off of you.
You needed to lie down.
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₊˚.🎧 ✩。 how to disappear completely by radiohead ₊˚.🎧 ✩。
note: sorry! it probably gets better! i think this one has a few edits pending but i couldn't waitttt
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disneyprincemuke · 3 months
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ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?
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you and charles stare at one another, eyes wide as you freeze in your respective spots of the kitchen: you with a whisk in hand and him with a bowl and an egg.
“what did you just say?” charles asks slowly, afraid to move any muscle in his body. maybe if he stayed this still, he could go back to 30 seconds ago when you hadn’t said what you said.
you tilt your head to the side and furrow your eyebrows. “did i say something?”
knowing damn well you did. he had been threatening to hurl the raw egg at you when you started rambling and listing out reasons why he should not. in a fit of pleads, the first reason you had come up with is: ‘because i love you’. which, in hindsight, is a pretty damning reason not to throw a raw egg at your head.
but with the way charles has reacted to your statement, it seems like that that is not the route you should have taken. you should have said something along the lines of you being best friends; it’s also a good reason not to throw an egg across the room.
“you said something.”
“i really don’t recall.”
charles moves his head back a little, blinking rapidly at you. “i’m pretty sure you said that–“
“okay, okay!” you cry, putting the whisk down on the island of his kitchen. “i did! i said what i said. but i don’t know why i said that!”
you would think that being friends half your life would give you a pass to say ‘i love you’. apparently not. charles still stands where he is with his bowl and egg, gaping wordlessly at you out of shock.
perhaps saying ‘i love you’ to one of your longest friends isn’t acceptable when your feelings reflect the phrase in a way you haven’t been able to understand your whole life. or just maybe it’s absurd to say when he’s got a girlfriend — a girlfriend sleeping in a bedroom not further than 20 metres from both of you.
feelings that have festered and developed since you were 17; that you cannot act on because charles has not gone long enough without a girlfriend for you to make a move on him and feel morally right about it. just when you think that enough time has passed after his breakup, charles comes forward to introduce you to a new girlfriend — one that he’s picked up while trying to collect himself somewhere far from home.
“you do not know why you said that? you just say things without thinking?” charles asks in a hushed whisper, looking over his shoulder to where the room door is closed. “seriously?”
“yes!” you shriek in disbelief. it’s not too long ago that you’ve had to bear the consequence of your running mouth. “remember when i said that george looks cute? in front of his girlfriend?”
charles smiles slightly, giggling softly at the memory. “ah, she didn’t talk to you for how long?”
“3. up to now, she does not want to answer my messages,” you grin slightly, though there’s a bitter taste if your mouth at the fact that carmen is still ignoring you. but that’s besides the point. “quite sad. i miss her.”
“oh my gosh,” charles says, puts the egg into the bowl and puts it down on the table. “you…” he blinks. “you… have feelings for me?”
it’s your turn to gape wordlessly at him. there could be 2 ways this situation goes: he would be appalled and… you can’t even imagine it going your way.
it was one thing to spend the past couple of years pining and hopelessly thinking of being together with a friend, but it’s another to admit it outright and not be embarrassed about it. what if he asks you when you started feeling like this? how are you supposed to explain that you’ve had feelings for him since you were 17? that was almost ten years ago.
“what? no,” you scoff, furrowing your eyebrows. “why would you even think that?”
“why are you asking me that? you literally said it?” charles asks, putting a hand up, directed at you in disbelief.
“you were gonna throw an egg at me!” you scoff, pointing at the egg.
“yeah, but you wouldn’t have said it if you weren’t thinking it,” he rolls his eyes, “you have feelings for me?”
you blink blankly at him with your palm now against the marble of the island. “no, you must have misinterpreted it.” you laugh nervously, clutching your stomach and then looking away to avoid his judgemental gaze. “i mean it in a friendly way.”
“a friendly way?” he scoffs back at you. “what does that even mean?”
you take a breath. there is only so many ways you can try and steer the conversation away from what you’ve just said.
“like… we’ve been friends for 11 years! i’m sure i can say ‘i love you’ platonically, right?” you look into his eyes, anticipating and wishing that he will eventually buy your lie.
because realistically, you would rather have and keep him as a friend than lose him entirely.
you watch as he takes steady breaths, looking at you with hesitation clearly written in his eyes. “it doesn’t mean anything, charles. don’t overthink it.”
but you would pray to god that he would overthink it. maybe then he will realise that he also has feelings for you, or that he’s had feelings for you all along. maybe he will finally see that you’ve been here all along instead of putting him through the torment of another failed relationship?
but you watch as the gears turn in his head. his gaze softens as a more genuine smile stretches his lips. “oh, okay,” he laughs airily, picking up his bowl. “for a moment there… you had me!”
you laugh with him, scowling slightly as you turn away from him. “yeah, i got you there.”
“you scared me — i always told carlos he was wrong about the way he claims you would look at me,” charles laughs, appearing by your side. he beams at you when you turn to him before briefly walking away. “you’d never like me like that anyway. you’re too good for me.”
it feels like he’s thrown a knife that went directly straight through your heart. it’s also another type of pain to hear that from the guy you’ve been wishing for.
and while you’ve gone out there, explored choices and let yourself be with other guys, there’s simply nobody as good as charles in your eyes.
it’s almost to the point where it’s pathetic.
you laugh. “i guess.”
“besides, i think we’re better off friends. don’t you think so?”
you clench your jaw, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “of course. i’d never date you.”
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@cashtons-wife @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification
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azullumi · 1 year
Text
alhaitham, cyno, tighnari — mornings with him (1) ☆彡
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summary — mornings with him are often filled with nothing but affection and not wanting to leave the bed.
characters — alhaitham, tighnari, cyno (w/ gender-neutral reader)
tags — fluff, established relationship; scenario
word count — 726
a/n — this is part 1 out of 2! i figured it might be too long if i had them all together.
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ALHAITHAM
"come back to bed, it's still early." a voice as low as a whisper was heard, immediately grabbing your attention as you were in the midst of getting up the bed. alhaitham who felt the shifting of the bed pulled him out of his dreams and as soon as he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of you planning to leave.
"the sun has already risen and the birds are chirping outside the window." you say as a response to what he has said. as a matter of fact, it's not even early in the morning anymore as it's already nearly 10. the coldness of the room was no more and you could feel the languid ambience of the morning being replaced by the bustling and busy atmosphere of the afternoon.
"and?" he asks in such an unbothered tone like it didn't mean anything to him. does it even matter? it's not like the world will end if you'll sleep in a little bit more and besides, it's a weekend and you didn't have to do any kind of work or tasks today. your eyebrows knitted as you fell into a deep thought before a sigh slipped past your lips.
he took this as a sign of defeat and the corners of his lips curled up to form a smile. he lifted the blanket and patted the empty space beneath it, an invitation for you.
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CYNO
"get some more sleep, you need it." cyno could easily tell even from your smallest movements that you have woken up and he immediately speaks, stopping your plans of getting out of bed just so you could start the day.
"cyno..?" you called out to him, voice low and soft that it felt like it will just get lost to silence but the man beside you has sharp ears and incredible hearing.
"yes, (name)?" there was softness in his voice tone of voice which has your heart fluttering.
"i thought you had some duties to attend to for the akademiya?" you say, propping your upper body with your elbows as you sit up in your position, rubbing your eyes as you adjusted your vision to the room. cyno wrapped his arm around your figure and brought you close to him, laying your head against his chest wherein you can completely hear the sound of his heart.
he answers your question, "i do, however, those will be done later. for now, try to get some more sleep. i know you're tired."
"i don't want to wake up without you besides me," you say. sure, you have already gotten used to those moments wherein you'll wake up cold and alone in a bed that feels way too big, however, you couldn't help feeling lonely whenever that happens. recognizing the sadness in your voice, he kisses your crown and assures you:
"don't worry, i will not leave your side."
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TIGHNARI
"five more minutes." he says to himself, admiring your face a little longer.
tighnari has no desire to leave the bed even when the sun is already shining and the sunlight is spilling on the wooden floors of his home, warming up the interiors of the room. he just couldn't find the want to leave the comfort of his bed especially when you're sleeping peacefully beside him.
he’s been here beside you for how long already and it’s not like he can’t leave you but it’s just that he doesn't want to leave your side yet. tucking the hair that's obscuring your face, he thought to himself how he wishes to stare at you a little more. he took this opportunity to observe you at a closer distance, the features that adorn your face with a relaxed expression displayed on it.
his eyes trailed over your eyebrows down to your eyes, noticing the length of your lashes. then down to your nose and to your lips that he has felt many times already, the same lips that always beams a smile at him whenever he's within your sight. he couldn't help but heave a sigh.
"just five more minutes and i'll leave," he repeats to himself like a strict rule that he has set for himself and he has to abide by despite knowing fully well that he would end up staying longer than that and not following what he has said.
— navigation | masterlist
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jazzythursday · 1 year
Text
Wylan leaves in the morning.
He doesn’t plan to, not exactly, but he definitely doesn’t plan on staying, either.
Wylan is no stranger to one night stands. He can’t say he gets around very frequently, but enough to know the general plot of how they're supposed to go.
Flirt, drink, fuck, leave. The order isn’t necessarily set in stone, but the list ends the same every time.
He has a good time, for the most part, and it’s always a welcome break from the awful chemical smell burned into the Tannery or the staleness of the empty rooms in cheap boarding houses (when he can afford them) that Wylan is used to. Wylan likes the freedom that comes with it, too. It’s liberating to go where he wants and do what he pleases; to not worry about who he’s seen with or sleeps with or what they might think of him after. And he likes feeling wanted, for a little while. He likes being reminded that he exists.
So Wylan does not make a habit of falling asleep with the people who take him to bed.
He doesn’t even remember falling asleep, really.
He doesn't remember, and yet, Wylan wakes up with his head pillowed on Jesper’s chest. With Jesper’s arm draped over him. His breath is warm where it ghosts over the top of his hair, and if Wylan glances up he can see the way Jesper’s mouth— those lips— fall open in sleep.
It’s the best morning he’s had in months, possibly. Certainly the most comfortable.
He knows it can’t last.
Wylan looks at Jesper, still sleeping peacefully next to him, and he panics.
He’d woken up in Jesper Fahey’s arms.
He’d slept with Jesper Fahey.
Jesper has a reputation, and Wylan knows it, even new to the Barrel as he is. He’d heard about Dirtyhand’s second and resident sharpshooter plenty— Can’t resist a gamble, never misses a shot, and not just with bullets. Jesper Fahey is an excellent marksman, they say, with terrible luck with the cards, and a soft spot for pretty girls and even prettier boys.
Jesper’s played the field— multiple fields— went on a seismic world tour of fields.
Wylan is very good at not being noticed. He’s also very good at listening. People tend to look past him, they never pay any mind to the too skinny boy with the wild hair and the hunched shoulders and the grime that never seems to wash off completely after his long shifts at the Tannery. Wylan knows this, knows he’s very adept at being able to disappear, when he needs to.
So by the time Wylan actually meets Jesper, he’s well aware of his place in Ketterdam’s booming rumor mill. Jesper has many, and Wylan thinks by now he may have heard them all.
And yet, none of them do a thing to prepare him for Jesper.
They’d met in a tavern.
Wylan had been nursing his drink for the better half of an hour, trying to come up with reasons not to go back to the sad cot he had waiting for him in a rented room, with the only window overlooking the brick wall of a dark alley.
So far, he’d only come up with the one.
Wylan had seen the tall Zemeni man from across the room and hadn’t stopped looking since. He was flirting with a girl at the bar, twirling one of his guns in one hand demonstratively with a drink in the other. The girl— a curly haired blond— was giggling, hand pressed to her mouth with eyes that had very clear and direct intentions.
Wylan had almost resolved himself to a night of wasting the few kruge at his disposal with little to show for it, when the man had looked up and caught him staring. The man had smiled, twirling his gun with an extra flourish and then tipped his hat. Wylan smiled back, and gave a little wave. Embarrassing, He’d thought, stop it, he’s already with someone else anyway. He’d looked down, and stared at the near empty contents of his drink until someone sat down next to him and said, in a voice like apple butter and sweet syrup, “Can I get you another of those?”
Then Wylan had looked up into the eyes of the handsomest man he’d ever seen, and thought, he has the most perfect lips.
Out loud, he’d said, “I, uh, well—” His mouth was wide open, he’d realised, and shut it quickly. Again, the man had smiled. Again, Wylan had smiled back. “Yes, please.”
And that's how he’d met Jesper.
Afterwards, they’d stumbled through the streets— I know a place, Jesper said, If you want to take this somewhere more private— until they’d passed a corner where a vendor was selling traditional Kerch sweets out of a cart.
“Stroopwafels!” Jesper had stopped. “I love stroopwafels!”
Wylan was tugging him toward the cart without really making a conscious decision to move, and Jesper had laughed, surprised and delighted.
Wylan bought them both stroopwafels and handed Jesper his with a shy smile and a shrug. “For the drink.”
Jesper looked at him consideringly, head caulked to the side, and Wylan felt himself blushing in the low light of the lamps. “You’re sweet,” he’d said eventually.
“Is that bad?” Wylan had asked, sheepish. Jesper was already shaking his head.
“It’s good. Just not that many sweet things to be had in the Barrel. It’s refreshing.” He’d bit off a piece of one of the waffles and smiled. “These are sweet too,”— he’d leaned in, smile still earnest but with something decidedly different underneath— “I like sweet.”
Jesper had not touched him like he’d been expecting to be touched. Jesper made no assumptions; he’d asked, about everything, in a way that was near gentlemanly if it wasn’t for the fact that he radiated trouble through his pores. Jesper was— not quite gentle, because Wylan had expected hot and heady and everything deep, and Jesper was all of that and more— but he wasn’t rough. He didn’t bruise, not if Wylan didn’t say yes first, and afterwards he’d laid back down and settled Wylan into his arms in a way that he had no real way of protesting— didn’t want to protest, anyway— and kissed him.
It was that that had scared Wylan the most, he thinks. Because Wylan is rarely kissed for the express purpose of it. It was always the promise of more— the rush of what was to come. But people do not generally tend to kiss Wylan for the sake of kissing Wylan. It’s different. Jesper is different, and Wylan can’t afford to be stupid enough to do something like get attached. Can’t afford much at all— really.
But Jesper had kissed him, pleased and lazy and warm, and at some indeterminate time later they had both apparently fallen asleep.
And it was nice.
It was too nice. It hurt with how nice it was.
Wylan peels himself slowly out of Jesper’s arms, careful not to wake him, and decides then that he cannot stand to be here any longer.
Jesper Fahey is not what he’d expected, he’s better.
Jesper Fahey is lovely, and beautiful, and kinder to him than anyone has been to Wylan for almost as long as he can remember.
Jesper Fahey is more than he could have ever hoped for, and he isn’t going to stick around for someone like Wylan.
So Wylan leaves, and he doesn’t look behind him as he closes the door.
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kquil · 10 months
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POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS ⏤FIRST PIERCING
REQUEST. : Can I request a chapter where the boys convince the reader to get her ears pierced and she cries bc she's anxious when it happens and one of the boys has her sit on their lap when it's happening and help her calm down. You don't have to but i think it would be super cute —@samanddeansannoyingsis
G. : fluff ; modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james ; tattoo artist sirius ; piercer remus ; comfort ; sitting in sirius's lap ; slight panic attack - not explicit
LENGTH : 1.9k
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“Did you mean it?” You ask in a soft voice as Remus swivels in his tech chair to pay you his full attention, one brow raising up at the sight of your fingers gently pinching your ear lobes.
“Did I mean what, dove?” He asks in his usual warm tone, tilting his head back to stare up at you from his seat.
“That I would look cute with ear piercings…” 
Remus laughs because how cute can you get? Especially with that curious look in your doe eyes. Reaching out his big hands, he pulls you onto his thigh and holds you close, staring down with his loving brown eyes to reassure you of any insecurities he suspects might arise. 
Somehow, Remus always knew what path your thoughts could potentially take. You felt like an open book to him, cradled in his large hands, stable and loving; ready to explore your pages with the simple intent to understand you further, as he’s already done with the few pages you’ve allowed him to read in your past. To you, Remus is safety, comfort and boundless warmth, not from the sun but from a thick blanket, reassuring and all encompassing, devoted to only keeping you warm — safe, happy and secure. 
“Yes, I meant it,” Remus whispers as he fixes the collar of your shirt, ever the habitual perfectionist, “why?” His gaze lifts and you’re lost in his honey-chocolate pools once more, “are you thinking of getting your ears pierced?” you don’t know if the lilt in his tone is to tease or a growing excitement for your potential inclination — he may have the honour of giving you your first piercing.
“Maybe…” he can tell from the slight hesitancy in your diction that you weren’t 100% sold on the idea, which brings about his own worries.
“You don’t need a piercing to be cute you know,” Remus mutters the sentiment into your temple before pressing a kiss into your skin, “you’re plenty cute as is…” 
“It’s not that,” the shaky breath you exhale is all too familiar to the brunette and he instantly knows your exact reasoning, he still lets you speak the words yourself, however, somewhat enjoying the show you unintentionally play out before him. It’s another cute display, one that rivals whenever he sees you eating something delicious, and can’t control your expression or when you get excited over something and hop in place while doing tiny claps, “I’m still kinda scared of needles…” 
The shame that crosses your face tugs at Remus’s heart and he puts a stop to it immediately. Holding your chin between his pointer finger and thumb he directs your stare to meet his own, “don’t feel ashamed of that, sweetheart. Being afraid is normal and, in some instances, keeps people alive and safe. It’s unfortunate but fear led you to the boys and me,” he hates to remind you of that fateful night but— “and now I don’t think we can live without you,” the two of you share a laugh at that.
The boys were truly grateful to you for many things. You may not know it but whenever angry, sad or stressed all they had to do was look at you, see your smiling face, hear your twinkling laugh and bask in the brightness you exude just to feel right again. You bring about an equilibrium that they are so often tipped off of, never totally right or sane when you are gone too long. 
“I—…I still don’t know,” 
“Try this,” Remus leans back to pose his hypothetical, “forget the needle and the pain, would you still like to wear earrings?” your enthusiastic nod is answer enough, “then…—“ from the corner of his eye, Sirius walks past the doorway and Remus calls for him. 
“How may I help you and our princess, Moony?” Sirius asks with a practised smiling voice as he shoots you a wink.
“Do you mind fetching the earring jewellery samples?” Sirius raises a brow but asks no questions and nods before disappearing again. While he’s gone, you stare up at Remus, who doesn’t say a word but smiles and lovingly tucks a stray hair behind your ear. Not long after, Sirius returns with a small set of samples in a rectangular wooden box, lined with red velvet and showcasing a small but beautiful variety of jewellery. 
“Aren’t they beautiful?”
“They’re very beautiful, Rem,” you reply, awing at their delicate designs and sparkling appearance. 
“Pick a favourite pair,” he prompts and without hesitation, you pick the two that immediately caught your eye. 
“Great choice, doll,” Sirius praises as Remus hands back the sample set and gives him a look, communicating his next steps. There was no debate and Sirius accepted everything without any questions, “we’ll reserve them for you,” Sirius smiles softly and quickly leaves to do just that before you can utter any word of protest. 
“Tell us when you’re ready, and we’ll make it happen so that you’re as comfortable as can be throughout,”
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Every time you visit the boys at their tattoo studio, they let you have the reserved piercings to look over and contemplate your decision with. They were perfectly happy to wait however long you needed and never pushed you towards a decision, they even expressed that it was perfectly okay for you to change your mind and withdraw from the idea altogether. 
“You know,” James pipes up with a mouthful of food that Remus quickly reprimands him for, “you don’t need to get a piercing to wear earrings,” 
“That’s right, there are other alternatives out there, dollface,” Sirius adds, licking his lips with a content smile, always a lover for your cooking, “you can wear clip on earrings instead,”
You appreciate their concern and thoughtfulness but you still want to get a piercing. It felt like a right of passage for all girls and you wanted to be a part of it, clip-ons didn't feel the same and you wanted to be able to pair your earrings with an outfit like some of your friends do. Shaking your head with a polite smile, you turn to Remus, “You’ll be doing my piercing, right, Rem?” 
“That’s right, dove,”
Timidly, you meet his kind eyes, “will you be able to hold me when you do it?” Your shy statement was all they needed to realise what was holding you back. They felt so stupid for not realising it sooner but, thankfully, they knew how to help you now. 
“I’m afraid not, sweetheart,” Remus coos softly at your disappointed expression but James and Sirius don’t let you wear it for long. 
“But Prongs and I can hold you for as long as you need, doll!” Sirius smiles as James grins toothily beside him. 
“Just take your pick on whose lap you think will be more comfortable!” James laughs with Sirius as he throws his arm over his friend’s shoulders. 
“In that case,” you turn towards Remus with a smile once more, “when is the next available time I can set up an appointment?”
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It was in the afternoon when you found yourself seated on Sirius’s lap as Remus prepared to pierce your ears. James, to his dismay, had an appointment for a tattoo so Sirius won lap rights by default, which he was all too proud to have won. 
In preparation for the piercings, Sirius helped tie your hair up so that your ears were free of their awning, he did this while Remus prepared his tools, put on his gloves and got started on a small aftercare kit for you to take home — as was customary of their studio to provide for all their customers. With Sirius’s arms comfortingly wrapped around your waist, he pressed you close so that you could feel the heat from his chest against your back and allowed him access to your neck, where he placed a soft kiss.
After a while, Remus walks over with a soft look on his face and a sanitising wipe in a gloved hand, “you two look cosy,” he comments while gently cleansing your lobes with the wipe and throwing it away in a nearby bin. 
“Our princess deserves it,” Sirius comments, his hot breath tickling your neck and making you giggle as Remus agrees.
“That she does,” leaning back, the tall brunette sits in his tech chair and pulls up a small handheld mirror and pen, “now, dove, I need you to tell me where you want your piercing. Do you want it a little higher? Right in the middle or a little lower, here?” In the mirror he holds in front of you, you see him point out where the potential piercing can go with the tip of his pen, “I want to do it perfectly for you,” he smiles warmly behind the mirror, which carries in his voice — soft and sweet.
“And if you want more piercings in the future, you can make room for them now,” Sirius adds from behind you. 
“I want it right in the middle please, Rem,” 
“Of course,” he nods and places the markings softly onto your lobe before holding up the mirror again for your final approval.
“W-won’t the pen make the sanitising pointless,” you comment, shy of your scrutiny; Remus was the expert, afterall. 
“Don’t worry, dove,” he kisses your forehead before holding up the capped pen, “this is a surgical skin marker and it’s used in surgeries to mark out incision lines,” your apprehended by his gentle tone and warm voice, calming your heart that had slowly begun to race with anticipation, “the ink is made of gentian violet, which has antifungal properties so it won’t affect the sterility of the marked area,”
When you nod in understanding, Remus kisses your forehead once more and goes to store away the pen before finally getting started on your piercing.
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Sirius whispers into your hair when he hears the unsteady shake in your breaths — Remus had just sat down across from you in his tech chair with a needle in hand and a small stopper in the other. 
“Look away, darling… close your eyes,” Remus prompts when he sees your breathing pick up at the sight of the needle in his hand. He is completely ignored and nods at the tattooist behind you, “Sirius, can you help our angel?”
You feel Sirius kiss your temple as his arms give you a small squeeze. His weight, warmth and smell surrounds your senses and the boys helpfully guide your breathing until you are finally able to relax. The tension leaves your body and you finally close your eyes, apologising for your small episode. 
“You have nothing to be sorry for, dove,” Remus whispers softly in front of you, “but I’m gonna have to ask you to take a deep breath for me,” you do as he says, breathing deep and slow, “good girl…”
There’s a small pinch in your right lobe that quickly dulls into numbness before Remus secures something behind it and a lingering weight is left. You feel Sirius kiss the slope of your shoulder, muttering soft praises as he does so. There’s some shuffling before you feel Remus take his place before you again. 
“One more time, dove, take a deep breath…” he gently commands as you easily follow. There’s another small pinch but in your left lobe this time. Again, Remus secures something behind it and as the numbness lingers so does an added weight. 
Your eyes flutter open just as Remus presses a kiss onto your forehead, “you were such a good girl for me,” he praises, smiling and then holds up a mirror for you to admire the delicate earrings decorating your ears with a bright smile, “it suits you, darling,”
“You just keep getting prettier,” Sirius chuckles and squeezes you in his arms once more, ”well done, princess,”  
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A/N : i went a little overboard with the writing, i didn't know it would stretch on for so long but i hope you enjoy the read! i'm sorry it took me a while to fulfil this request, life kinda got in the way but here it is! please tell me what you think!
NAVI. | HEROES IN TATTOOS SERIES
TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @astonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @sageskisses444 @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @neeezza101 @chaosofmanyfandoms @susyelectra @fangirlninja67 @pagesfalling @thepunisherfrankcastle @axeofwars @imarimon @justkiyomi @in-love-with-4-marauders @chicken-taco-burrito @valencia-sou @feast0nmeee @lestat-whore @hvmxjjk @twilightlover2007 @diaryofabiwoman @woohoney @celestialfantasiess @willbedecided @lovelyygirl8 @iiirhiane-g @ghostgardn @mess-is-my-aesthetic
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queuestarter · 4 months
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mirrors
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(finnick odair x reader)
cw: mentions of sexual abuse and prostitution, talks of self hatred, ambiguous ending
→ reader comforts finnick when he's having a rough morning
open to submissions/asks !!
You know what kind of day it’s going to be as soon as you wake up.
Finnick’s not in bed anymore, which is unusual for him. He usually likes to stay in bed until well after you both have woken up. He likes to hold you against his chest, likes to whisper in your ear about everything and nothing. He likes knowing you’re there.
So when you wake up during sunrise and don’t see him next to you in bed, you can instantly tell something is wrong. You’re not worried or hesitant, you are more upset than anything.
Both you and Finnick have experienced the Hunger Games, so you’re no stranger to the nightmares that stem from it and bud out into real life. But when Finnick has nightmares, he tends to want to stay in bed rather than leave it, so you know that his terrors must not be what woke him up.
You sigh, getting up from the bed yourself. You smooth out the sheets and the duvet before grabbing your and Finnick’s mugs with old tea dregs in it to deposit in the kitchen sink. A pang of sadness hits you when you don’t spot Finnick at all during that time.
After throwing on one of Finnick’s knit sweaters and making two fresh mugs of tea, you set out to find your boyfriend, once and for all. It doesn’t take much looking- you find him sitting on the back deck overlooking the water.
“Finnick,” you say quietly so as not to startle him. “I brought you some tea.”
He doesn’t turn to look at you but by the way he flinches you know he heard you. You frown at his subtle action. 
“Go back inside. It’s too cold out here for you,” he eventually says after a long moment of silence. “I’ll be in soon.”
You don’t listen, instead choosing to sit on the step directly next to him, placing his mug on the table in front of you. “The tea will warm us both up.”
He finally turns his head to look at you. You try not to stare at the sight of the bags under his eyes or the way his frown has left a crease on his cheek. 
“What are you even doing here?” He asks, catching you off guard.
You don’t let the question faze you for too long before you respond easily, trying not to set him off. “I wanted to see you.”
He shakes his head before returning his gaze back to the water. “Not here, here. What are you doing with me?”
This question does cause you to raise your eyebrows. You set your mug of tea down next to his. “I’m here because I love you. You are the most perfect man in the world to me.”
You catch the way his face seems to melt at your words, how tears immediately come pouring from his eyes. Despite how hard it is, you don’t comfort him in fear of making his breakdown worse.
“I’m not. There’s nothing perfect about me. I’m dirty and used up.” He buries his face into his hands.
You’re speechless. You and Finnick have been together for a long time, and while he’s had moments where he feels like he’s not enough or that what the Capitol put him through made him less than, he’s never said anything like this. After a moment of processing his words, you try to soothe him by rubbing a hand up and down his back.
“Everything about you is perfect to me, Finn. And you are not dirty,” you say vehemently. “What they’re putting you through has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”
With his face still buried, Finnick cries out, “then why am I like this? Why can’t I live with it?”
You grimace. Every word he says resonates with you. While you were never sought after in the Capitol after your games in the same way Finnick is, you’ve seen the aftermath of the attention. You can’t do anything to change the past or what’s to come, but you can try to make things more bearable for him.
Afterall, he’s done so much for you.
“Can you tell me what happened, honey?” You dare to ask, hoping he’ll let you in.
He lifts his head up and turns back to face you. Your heart breaks at the sight of his watery eyes and red cheeks. “I just… looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hate my face for what it’s caused me.”
At this point you can’t help your own tears. “Finn,” you whisper. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your face, or your personality, or anything about you. Those people are the ones that are wrong. The people in the Capitol who are too evil to see the hurt that they’re causing.”
He nods. “Yeah.”
Not knowing what else to do, you wrap your arm around his shoulder and hold him until he tells you to stop. And when he does want to get up and go inside, you still say nothing as you make oatmeal for the two of you.
There’s nothing you can do or say to stop his torment. All you can do is promise to always be by his side.
-
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sophiethewitch1 · 4 months
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In Death's Embrace
Jason x Death!Reader
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His head is in your lap, the sun peeking through the black locks of his hair. He grumbles at the light interrupting his nap, and turns and presses his face into your thigh. You chuckle, carting a hand through his hair just like he loves you to.
He’s at peace. The world is at peace. He’s safe here, in your unending embrace, and he knows he’ll never have to leave it. He knows that’s the way it should be.
“You’re so clingy today,” you tease him, and he chooses to ignore your words. The quiet is peaceful, and he longs for more of it, even as he wants your words too. Of course, as always, you understand. Instead, you whisper sweet nothings to him, gazing out at the wheat fields surrounding the two of you.
There’s a book in your hand, the one that doesn’t pet him. It’s in a language he doesn’t know, doesn’t recognise. It’s probably as old as you are.
He didn’t know much about you. He didn’t need to. He understood who you were, what you were. He wasn’t stupid. He understood that you comforted billions of others, held them like you held him. Maybe once he would’ve been jealous, but he knew that feeling was pointless too.
Here, you wouldn’t let him feel anything but peace. Here, he needn’t want for anything but you, and you’d always give yourself over to him freely.
Your hand pauses in his hair. It tightens. Jason likes the feeling, likes anything you do to him, but he senses your tension, and opens his eyes. You’re not looking at him, instead staring up at the blue sky. Mouth pursed, you tilt your head.
You look back down at him, smiling softly. It’s the same as every other smile you give him, but he doesn’t like it. Doesn’t trust it. Something’s wrong, and he’s filled immediately with a sense of panic he hasn’t known in years.
“Fascinating,” you say, and Jason pulls himself up from your lap, grabbing your hands in his. You let him move you, let him pull you to your feet, don’t resist as he follows his instincts, running into the strands of wheat like hell is on his heels.
It might be.
“Jason,” you call his name, your voice calm despite his hurried breathing, “Jason, dear.”
He pauses just long enough to look back at you, to look at the blue sky cracking open in jagged edges, to see the reeds pulling backward into a gaping void. He can feel the sucking gravity, and he plants his feet against the wind. You’re unaffected by the tear in the sky, your hair calm, your clothes still.
“Jason, it’s a good thing. Not many get a second chance,” you cajole him, pulling on hand from his grasp to cup his chin. He leans into your touch, savouring it, needing it.
“It’s not. I won’t leave you, I can’t,” he whispers, his words almost lost in the roar of the wind.
“You have no choice,” and your eyes are almost… sad. He doesn’t think that’s right. He doesn’t think someone like you should feel sad. You’ve seen so much, know so much.
What does it say for his future? What does it mean, when Death looks at you with pity?
“Save me, please,” he begs you, and you shake your head.
“I have no choice, either. You must make the most of it, Jason. You must do your best. And I’ll be here when you come home, waiting for you,” you promise him, and he has to choke down a sob. This isn’t right. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
He was supposed to have you forever.
“How can I when you’re not there with me?”
You peer into his eyes, and the void rips wider behind you.
“You won’t remember me, darling.”
The last thought, before it takes him, before it swallows him whole, is that that’s the worst part.
Part two!
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