i am screaming everything that is wrong with me. everything bad that ever happened to me. every person that hurt me. i am screaming.
the people avoid me. i am the town creature, the witch, the freak. they pretend they can鈥檛 hear me.
i am screaming.
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"it's just me."
you barely get a chance to roll onto your back before soonyoung's already climbing onto the bed and somewhat on top of you and your blankets, and it's only seconds later that he crashes. it's far from the first time this has happened (soonyoung is clingy and cuddly, especially when he's sleepy), but he manages to knock the wind out of you nonetheless. he rests his head on your chest, and you wiggle an arm out to curl around him as best as you can in your semi-trapped position.
"soonyoung--"
"just go back to sleep," he murmurs. "everything's fine."
you stroke his hair, thumb dipping down to graze his cheek at one point. "soonie--"
"i mean it," he says, eyes peering up in the low light to see yours. "i'm fine. just need to nap." his hand finds yours, and he wraps your arm around him as he snuggles in. he plants a kiss against your chest before resting his head against it again, eyes fluttering shut. "you can rest a little longer, too."
you settle back down after a moment, arms wrapped around soonyoung as you shut your eyes again. sometimes you swear this tiger is a teddy bear, but regardless of which he is, he's yours.
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Every time YouTube nonsense happens I'm always like "I can't wait to see what Sergle says about this" because you're the only person I follow that talks about YouTube nonsense.
Please take this is an invitation for you to talk about the Watcher's apology video lol
I am a filthy youtube enjoyer so you can absolutely count on me and GODDDDDDDDDDD... I mean the apology is not NEARLY as funny as the blunder, so it hasn't kept my attention as much but like
the obligatory upfront thing is that, like, it is good that they posted it, they apologized for being insensitive and whatever, they're not scraping their channel clean or going forward with their old plan to only post their shows on their own platform, and these are technically good and correct things, because they could have pretended not to notice all the negative feedback. So like, responding is good.
BUT LIKE I HAVE QUESTIONS NOW... Because they took SO LONG to film and upload a video that basically is just "we fucked up, we're sorry, we're not gonna do that anymore", which doesn't exactly take a writer's room several days to cook, but I DIGRESS...
They were quiet for long enough for everyone to LOOK REALLY CLOSE. After the initial reaction, people had time to do some pretty comprehensive cost breakdowns for their stuff, and for what they have to be pulling in from adsense, sponsored segments, patreon, merch, and touring
Like, they'd need to be really mismanaging their finances, because they're doing very well for themselves, making good, stable money, and the vids they make are super duper advertiser friendly.
SO... you take long enough without putting out a holder statement or a quick heel-turn apology or anything, it gives people more time to get comfortable with not liking you, and also to dig around and google things about you, or scrape up info/trivia about you to corroborate their new opinion of you.
It gets personal, is what I mean. So pulling this move has still, at BEST, caused some permanent damage to their relationships with fans, in both directions. They all got a huge flood of negative feedback, and even a perfect, emotionally mature, non-entitled person would have a negative reaction to people being upset with them at such a high volume. But now they're gonna remember the things that people have said about them, and there's no way that at the very least, Steven isn't gonna feel spiteful about this.
People TOTALLY unloaded on him (funny) (valid) about his evangelical christian conservative leaning tesla privileged out of touch boy gold flaked ice cream eating ways. He definitely is going to remember that ppl said they never liked him in the first place. As for Ryan and Shane, people didn't have any dirt on them, but they definitely still received a lot of angry messages from people, most of which will have been reasonable, but they're gonna remember the really really mean and intense ones.
Anyway, they made a booboo dumb enough for jack to want to make a skit about it, so for that I'm very grateful, because I thought it was really really fucking funny
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been thinking about how in a couple of different interviews, barry has brought up that he played five different olivers chronologically thru the movie. i've been fiddling with my theories as to where each oliver ends and a new one begins and have roughly landed here but would love to hear other ideas:
oliver 1: oxford, watching and wanting felix. an outsider, batting up against the window, just desperate to get in. begins observing everything: details of felix's life, details of farleigh's life, begins orchestrating his performance for felix, setting the stage for whatever will get him into the spotlight.
oliver 2: saltburn, pre-bathtub, the best few months of his life, living in felix's light. this is the dream. he will cling onto it and comb over it and jerk off to it and wonder how he could ever get it back.
oliver 3: saltburn, post-bathtub, post-pamela, understanding how precarious his position is, losing felix quickly, making risky, desperate moves in an attempt to regain his attention. eating holes in everything and becoming a toy that felix doesn't want to play with anymore.
oliver 4: saltburn, post-confession, post-licking-the-fucking-plate, confused by his own obsession and pivoting toward preserving and not letting anyone remove him from what he thinks is rightfully his: felix's space and felix's role and felix's memory
oliver 5: post-post-saltburn, monologuing to his final victim, justifying his actions in any way possible, an obsession that has festered for more than a decade, re-realized in his obsession with his self and his work. oliver in his most catton-like state. denying that the desire was ever there. has a complete and utter horror of the ugliness he's committed. a beautiful man in his beautiful house, surrounded by beautiful things. finally free from want.
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reg: I'm so jealous of people that have little dainty sneezes. Mine could send a whole neighborhood into lockdown
james, who has never seen him sneeze: your sneezes are adorable.
sirius, remus, pandora, dorcas, barty, evan: *all snort or snigger*
*a few weeks later*
reg: *sneezes*
james jumps: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
everyone: told you so!!!!
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here's the thing. jack is a gentle person who was forced into being tough and strong and fierce by circumstance. his hands are calloused and his knuckles are bruised when he picks flowers to display in the window by his bed and when he wipes away tears from a younger boy and when he braids the hair of a little girl who can't do it herself. and davey is a fierce, angry person who has learned to be gentle and quiet and pleasant by circumstance. he isn't used to being in a fist fight but when he stops trying to be otherwise, his words are sharp and pointed and direct even when he's offering comfort and kindness and wit. jack has never had the chance to just be gentle without fighting for it. davey has never allowed himself to exist without a filter.
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As of today I'm an extremist in my own country. Russia just declared LGBTQ movement as "extremist"
People just want to be happy with each other, live freely, hold hands on the streets
And now, if you show in any way publicly that you are a queer you will be charged as an extremist, meaning anything from a huge fee to imprisonment
I'm sad but I hope love wins at the end
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