#i am trying so hard to pick my album version and i was almost decided on diary but these pics r saying otherwise
Note
hi 🥰 what are your favourite and least favourite songs from each Taylor’s album and why? ✨
✨ TAYLOR SWIFT ESSAY ✨
this is going to be hard, but i'll try my best... i'm going to include all taylor's versions & vault tracks of course. WARNING: some of my opinions are controversial, sometimes i'm rude, don't read it if you're a sensitive swiftie.
DEBUT 🤠
FAVOURITE SONG: mary's song - great storytelling - what i love the most about taylor - she just tells you a story & you can see it all happen in your head, one of my favourite lyrics on the album, i love the production, i remember i used to cry to this song when i was a teenager so maybe it's just my sentiment...
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: a perfectly good heart - i mean... do i even have to say anything? it's just such a boring song (sorry) & the lyrics? not that great either.
FEARLESS (taylor's version) ✨️
FAVOURITE SONG: mr perfectly fine - i'm not the biggest country taylor fan anymore (i used to be) but shit this one slaps, i love sassy taylor, "but it's wonderful to see that you're ok!" - my favourite line for sure (the way she sings it!!!), i just loooove singing it & like... everything about this song, really.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: bye bye baby - i despise this song. now - before you all come at me, you have to understand one thing (pun intended) - this used to be my favourite unreleased taylor song back when it was called... "one thing". i absolutely hate all the lyrics changes, i fucking hate that she changed the title, I CAN'T STAND THIS WEAK PRODUCTION (sorry jack, i still love you), this song used to be powerful... now it's just boring. seriously guys, just listen to both & decide which one is better.
SPEAK NOW (taylor's version) 💜
FAVOURITE SONG: long live - i think i don't even have to explain, this is our song & it always will be our song... i still remember little me coming back home from school & watching speak now tour almost every day, this song brings back so many memories... the bridge is everything, it always makes me cry like a baby... can't wait to hear it live in a couple of months!
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: superman - wow, i just realized i like every single song on speak now & i am choosing this one only because i like it a little less than the others, it still slaps, especially taylor's version - it's much better than the og one.
RED (taylor's version) 🧣
FAVOURITE SONG: all too well 10 minute version - i think i even wrote an essay before about how much this one means to me, call me basic, i don't care, i've been waiting nine fucking years for this version, i will die for this song, it's my child, no one gets it like i do, i just can't pick any other song because this one is better than all the others from all the albums.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: we are never ever getting back together - i mean... it's not like i hate it, but it's just a skip for me... red is my favourite album & i love that it's so all over the place, but this one just... doesn't belong here. like at all. and it's not the best taylor's lyrics ever.
1989 (taylor's version) 🗽
FAVOURITE SONG: wonderland - this song is just doing things to my brain, holy fuck, i love everything about it, the production is just so incredible i wanna fucking scream, the lyrics, "& in the end in wonderland we both went mad!", this is just a perfect pop song, the worst thing is that this album is full of bops, but this one has a very special place in my heart & i could listen to it on repeat for hours.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: bad blood - it's a good song & i like it, i don't hate it so don't hate me, it's just the one that is not really my favourite & i don't know what else i can say about it (kendrick lamar version is definitely better)
REPUTATION 🐍
FAVOURITE SONG: getaway car - one thing you need to understand is that... i used to hate this album - on my first listen i was like "what the fuck is this" & i was just laughing... sorry for speaking my truth (i love it now, ok?)... getaway car was the only song i liked on my first listen, like really liked, loved even. it has such a broadway vibe for me, i can't explain. i love the lyrics, i love that i could actually relate to this song at one point in my life, it's just so good. it's great. amazing even. still best song on the album.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: so it goes - it's so fucking boring OMG it's been years & i still don't even remember... how it goes. i'm being serious, i don't remember the melody, i think i just probably listened to it once & never again & i don't even want to, i'm sorry (i'm not).
LOVER 🩷
FAVOURITE SONG: death by a thousand cuts - y'all need to stop with this cruel summer shit, it's a good song but it's so overrated at this point, have you ever heard about dbatc? the production? the bridge? HAVE YOU HEARD? this may be one of taylor's best songs ever, this is my baby & my first url was inspired by this song (i joined tumblr in lover era), i am dbatc stan first, human second.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: the archer - yes, i know, you all want to cancel me now... i seriously don't understand why it's everyone's favourite, it's boring!!! & as much as i love jack antonoff, this production is just terrible, sorry. it's a huge skip for me, always has been.
FOLKLORE 🪩
FAVOURITE SONG: mirrorball - it's not an easy choice, but i'm going to go with this one, since i relate so much... it's almost scary. i remember when we were watching long pond studio sessions together when we met for the first time & we had a conversation about this song & then it hit me... i'm a fucking mirrorball. this song just means so much to me.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: epiphany - but only because i had to choose one & this one is a little bit boring (still good!), i love the entire album.
EVERMORE 🥂
FAVOURITE SONG: ivy - so, fun fact: i didn't like it on my first listen, but once you dive into the lyrics, holy fuck... lyrically, i think it's her best song, i also love the production, i just love fucking everything about this song & it's super fun to play on ukulele, the storytelling here, oh my fucking god! this is the taylor i absolutely adore.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: closure - it grew on me, i don't hate it, i actually even like it now, it's just a bit weird (especially this sound at the beginning???) & i don't think it belongs to that album... but i don't hate it, it's alright, just not my fave.
MIDNIGHTS 💫
FAVOURITE SONG: the great war - you should have seen my face when i was listening to it for the first time & literally burst into tears & then tried to explain it to my ex & started crying even more hahaha (good old days...). this is my song. i am the great war. so once again: it's just so relatable & it makes me feel... less alone. i don't even want to try to explain, but you guys get it.
LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: bigger than the whole sky - not a bad song at all, in fact, the lyrics - absolutely amazing, i just don't really listen to it that often, because the production is a bit boring.
#um... i'm sorry?#some of you might hate me after this#but also thank you#i feel like i needed it today#it's been a while since my last ts essay#& it was so much fun!#now enjoy (or not lol)#ts#taylor swift#i saved every letter you wrote me*#why do you write like you're running out of time*
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
🚨 Fri Aug 28🚨
!!!!!!!LIAM’S ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reading both the Sun and the Daily Mail’s version of events is a headache and a massive web of contradictions, but it’s all we have to go off of, because no one else decided to chime in today, including Liam himself!
On August 27, 2020, The Sun reported Liam’s engagement to *mumbles number between 19 and 20 here* year old Maya Henry after two years of dating. This number is brought to you by the same source that says Maya was 20 years old. According to People, the first year was secret! The Sun did publish pap pics from 8/26 with what was reported to be a £3 million engagement ring on her finger. The fandom’s reaction has been mixed at best, though largely, an air of confusion prevails, followed quickly by anger and frustration. And just like that, we have returned to a hostile fandom environment with a LOT of differing opinions which have drawn lines in the sand.
And then, of course, Liam went live. This happened at around 8 pm BST, and he spent 20 minutes talking about his upcoming show because,oh, also, the LP Show is in ONE day! What else did he have to say? Well, he talked a bit about his haunted house, doing more food challenges, premiering new songs on Saturday (!!!), Harry’s nipples (???), the way he pronounces ‘adore’, the Umbrella Academy, COVID life and how he keeps his depression at bay (love u, bud), and he sang a bit of Watermelon Sugar, while promising that Saturday’s show is the culmination of a lot of hard work, and he hopes it goes well. I do, too! The comments on the live, however, only seemed to want one pesky question answered: is he actually engaged?? For what it’s worth, Liam ignored everything related to this topic, and did not once mention his girlfriend/fiancee. Thanks for that, Liam!
We at 1 dee discourse inc. gave it a day, but, despite Liam’s conspicuous evasion of the subject in his live, this very much seems to be the route that Liam - or, rather, his team - are taking, as his rep seems to have confirmed the engagement with The Sun so! Don’t shoot the messenger! However, as we are still in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, they seem to be headed for a lengthy engagement - or at least that’s the hope. My piece of advice to them would be: don’t try to break the social distancing guidelines with a wedding, you crazy kids!
( Intern’s note: Honestly, if you have something mean to say about Maya, please don’t put it in my notes - she’s nineteen years old, and I don’t want to hear it.)
Let’s see...what else happened today? OH YEAH, Louis put out a brand new merch line!!! Okay, guys, my bank account is not going to survive this. Lyric Drop 1, as this collection is called, dropped on the 28th of August (today, as it so happens!).There were also rainbow face mural T-shirts and hoodies, as well as - get this, guys!! - a crop top hoodie! Anyways, the Lyric Drop line seems to mean that each collection will be inspired from different lyrics in Walls. This one is the “You’re Written In My DNA” Collection, which showcases a green and red double helix on top of a...fence? It’s DNA inside a cage? Behind a wall? (I actually really like that last one, so that’s what we’re going with!)
Well, at least it isn’t called the “DNA test” line, but it is pretty funny, considering...everything. This begs the question, though, of what lyric they will adapt next! I personally vote for “come so far from Princess Park” or “singing something poppy on the same four chords” or “it’s a solo song, and it’s only for the brave”. Regardless, I am curious as to how they’re going to design some of these lines, AND I think that “the Princess Park line” sounds like a super cute name for merch!
I think I should not have been surprised by this drop, given that he was seen meeting with a designer about merch a month ago (but not, as we thought, his twin brother, the head of UMG), but. I was still surprised. Soooo...does anyone want to help an Intern out and buy me the DNA tank top or an oversized hoodie of his eyes?? ~This is a joke I’m not actually asking you to buy me merch.~
Because Louis and Harry always have to be #twinning, there was an unusual development about Harry’s merch, as well. HSHQ might pick a legal fight with Forever 21 for, uh, *double checks* putting the phrase “Treat People With Kindness” on a hoodie. Harry did actually trademark that phrase in the UK, the US, and the EU in 2019, so he may have a legal case? Let’s get this square - as Louis would say - Forever 21 sucks. They suck, and they’re almost bankrupt, so this did not seem to be a smart move on their end. If it were me, though, I would urge HSHQ to recognize the fact that similar merch is being sold at a much lower cost, which seems to make it more accessible to fans - who are more than willing to buy it!
Zayn is zayning? I think that’s how you use that word. It has been noted that he has been more visible (for him) on social media, lately, so that might hint at a new project he might have coming out, which absolutely could be the case! In the same vein, Icarus Falls was re-released on all major streaming platforms with two more tracks: Dusk ‘Til Dawn and Still Got Time. This brings the tracklist to a total of 29 tracks and the length of the album to almost 1 hour and 40 minutes!! That’s crazy!!! Even crazier, the album has now surpassed 1.1 billion streams on Spotify! Go Zayn!
Meanwhile, a former Syco (or psycho, as I like to call them) artist confirmed the label’s dissolution while shading the fuck out of them. The Wikipedia was quickly changed to more accurately reflect the situation. It now reads: “...the record label [was] founded by British LOUIS TOMLINSON SUPREMACY…”. Also, if you change your Google settings to Spanish and Google ‘Harry Styles’, you’ll be informed that he’s been married to Louis Tomlinson since 2019. Happy anniversary, boys!
#aug 28 2020#harry#louis#zayn#liam#and E is on her way back#so maybe we can see Clifford again!!#i didn't know i missed the dog content until it was gone#so what kind of day has it been?#song rec of the day#is Moral of the Story#by an artist named Ashe#and she has this version with this one dude name Niall Horan?#idk if uve heard of him before#also also#thank u to my friend#for tuning into liams live for me!
350 notes
·
View notes
Note
8, 10, and 15 for SKZ with the kpop ask thing. ☺️ I'm super curious about your answer for 15.
Oh my goooood these ones are hard I'm so long winded sorry hah
8. Your favorite album?
Its hard not to pick one of the newer ones for the sheer factor of getting to experience it as it happens - I have serious like.....retroactive fomo (do people still say that???) that I wasn't in this since predebut BUT!! Based on sheer density of songs I love it would have to be I Am Who? like you're seriously going to give me question, insomnia, m.i.a, and awkward silence BACK TO BACK?? Insanity. AND MY PACE IS THERE..... Also maybe my favorite era for jisungs hair which is incredibly important to only me lmao i have considered paying real adult money for the photocards from the i am not/i am who/i am you era - which is a bit out of character for me - but they are (understandably) more expensive so I am hesitant
10. Favorite music video?
THIS IS ACTUALLY WORSE THAN FAVORITE SONG SOMEHOW??? I literally could think of a favorite song faster than I could think of a favorite mv (blueprint im almost 90% sure) can I cheat and say all the street versions???? Okay I'm gonna say Cheese only because I know if I think about it for too long I'll change my mind
15. What's a concept you would like to see them try?
So this is a funny question because I feel like I have different answers for musically and visually. If you ask me musically I would say that I knoooooow they've already done more rock leaning songs but I need MORE like the level of hype I get listen to YAYAYA and Rock is just off the charts give me more growly headbanging skz I know they can do it!!! And then visually....................mostly because I don't know if it would mess with their signature skz sound too much to do it musically
and hear me out I know its overdone practically done to death at this point
but I think they would look really cute in a retro concept
by the end of this I have already considered changing my favorite mv to Ex, Get Cool, and Any..........how do people decide.......
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Taylor Swift Albums Reviews
Hello my lovely blog readers,
I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.
Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!
Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.
One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!
Favorite Track: Begin Again
Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)
Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!!
Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew
Album Ranking: 6th/9
Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.
1) Begin Again
2) The Moment I Knew
3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version)
4) I Almost Do
5) Stay Stay Stay
6) All Too Well
7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran)
8) 22
9) Come Back...Be Here
10) Red
11) I Knew You Were Trouble
12) The Lucky One
13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
14) Starlight
15) Girl at Home
16) Sad Beautiful Tragic
17) State of Grace
18) Holy Ground
19) Treacherous
20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)
Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.
folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.
Favorite Track: mad woman
Least Favorite Track: invisible string
Album Ranking: 9th/9
1) mad woman
2) the 1
3) the last great american dynasty
4) mirrorball
5) hoax
6) peace
7) seven
8) august
9) my tears richocet
10) the lakes
11) cardigan
12) betty
13) illicit affairs
14) epiphany
15) this is me trying
16) exile (featuring Bon Iver)
17) invisible string
Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.
Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore
Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.
Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM)
Least Favorite Track: gold rush
Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go
Album Ranking: 7th/9
1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM)
2) happiness
3) champagne problems
4) willow
5) cowboy like me
6) dorothea
7) majorie
8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver)
9) closure
10) long story short
11) ‘tis the damn season
12) ivy
13) it’s time to go
14) coney island (featuring The National)
15) right where you left me
16) tolerate it
17) gold rush
Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.
Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!
Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!
Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry
Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You
Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain
Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version)
Album Ranking: 4th/9
1) You’re Not Sorry
2) White Horse
3) Love Story
4) You Belong with Me
5) Change
6) Forever and Always (Piano Version)
7) Fifteen
8) Hey Stephen
9) Come in with the Rain
10) Jump Then Fall
11) Fearless
12) Forever and Always
13) The Best Day
14) The Other Side of the Door
15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt)
16) Untouchable
17) SuperStar
18) Tell Me Why
19) The Way I Loved You
I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.
Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.
Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!
Favorite Track: Clean
Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would
Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha.
Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why)
Album Ranking: 5th/9
1) Clean
2) Wonderland
3) Wildest Dreams
4) This Love
5) You are in Love
6) Welcome to New York
7) Shake It Off
8) Blank Space
9) Bad Blood
10) Style
11) How You Get the Girl
12) Out of the Woods
13) New Romantics
14) I Know Places
15) All You Had to Do was Stay
16) I Wish You Would
Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.
And now for our next album, which is reputation!
This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.
Favorite Song: New Year's Day
Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied
Album Ranking: 8th/9
1) New Year's Day
2) Gorgeous
3) Don’t Blame Me
4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
5) I Did Something Bad
6) Dress
7) Delicate
8) Call It What You Want To
9) ...Ready for It?
10) Look What You Made Me Do
11) King of my Heart
12) Getaway Car
13) So It Goes...
14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future)
15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied
Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.
Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!
Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!
Favorite Song: Should've Said No
Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart
Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You
Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible
Album Ranking: 3rd/9
1) Should’ve Said No
2) Invisible
3) Cold as You
4) Picture to Burn
5) Our Song
6) The Outside
7) A Place in This World
8) Teardrops on My Guitar
9) Stay Beautiful
10) Tim McGraw
11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You
12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)
13) Tied Together with a Smile
14) A Perfectly Good Heart
This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.
And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.
The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.
Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version)
Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss
Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album.
Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version)
Album Ranking: 2nd/9
1) Haunted (Acoustic Version)
2) Long Live
3) Haunted
4) Better Than Revenge
5) Back to December (Acoustic Version)
6) Mine
7) Back to December
8) Mean
9) If This Was a Movie
10) Innocent
11) Dear John
12) Speak Now
13) Ours
14) Never Grow Up
15) The Story of Us
16) Superman
17) Enchanted
18) Sparks Fly
19) Last Kiss
One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.
Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.
It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!
Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend
Album Ranking: 1st/9
1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
2) Paper Rings
3) Lover
4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks)
5) You Need to Calm Down
6) The Archer
7) The Man
8) Daylight
9) Afterglow
10) I Think He Knows
11) False God
12) Death by a Thousand Cuts
13) Cruel Summer
14) Cornelia Street
15) I Forgot That You Existed
16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco)
17) London Boy
18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend
Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.
And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:
1) Lover
2) Speak Now
3) Taylor Swift
4) Fearless
5) 1989
6) Red
7) evermore
8) reputation
9) folklore
Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3
#taylor swift#fearless#taylor swift albums#taylor swift album#speak now#folklore#evermore#lover#taylor swift 1989#1989#taylor swift fearless#taylor swift speak now#taylor swift red#red#taylor swift lover#taylor swift folklore#taylor swift evermore#taylor nation#dianna agron#swiftgron#taylor swift bonus tracks#1989 bonus tracks#red bonus tracks#taylor swift 1989 bonus tracks#taylor swift red bonus tracks#rep tour#Taylor Swift rep tour#taylor swift debut#taylor swift debut album#debut album
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
i got a couple of prompts if u don’t mind!!! 💖 💖 Skdjfh i might’ve send something similar before, but my memory is Horrendous, so sorry if i have? while steve is Definitely very romantic and soft, i can rly see billy being it as well (probs bc of his mum!) but is shy abt it but he Rly wants to plan out a romantic dinner for the both of them 🥺 he finds one of steve’s nonna’s old recipes a bit last minute nd then finds out the recipe doesn’t have quantities and Panics
Hi! Sorry this took literally forever, I was in kind of a funk that I’m just beginning to shake today! I hope you enjoy!
***
Billy sighed as he sat at Steve’s kitchen table with Robin, “I don’t know Rob, maybe I should just leave the romance to Steve. He’s better at it than I am.” Robin rolls her eyes, “Billy. Steve isn’t hard to please at all. I mean... Just look at his exes, Nancy Wheeler isn't exactly the best person and Steve was infatuated with her.” Billy huffs and crumbles up the paper they were writing ideas on. He puts his head on the table and mumbles something incomprehensible but Robin can guess it’s something about how he’s not good enough for Steve. She starts walking around the kitchen, opening random draws and cabinets out of boredom. She bends down and grabs something out of one of the bottom cabinets, “Hey doofus, why don’t you cook him something? I’m pretty sure this is his Nonna’s cookbook. He’s made some pretty good things from it.”
Robin can practically see the light bulb pop out of Billy’s head, “You’re a genius, Rob! Thank you so much!” They spend the rest of the afternoon before Steve gets home from work, picking out a recipe. Billy settles on a tortellini, with chicken and pesto sauce, with homemade noodles, and the whole nine yards. Over the next few days Billy goes to the grocery store gathering ingredients, he’s planning on surprising Steve after his shift on Saturday. Billy is getting more and more giddy by the minute, he can’t wait to surprise Steve.
On Saturday morning, Steve makes pancakes and eggs for breakfast, they eat and Steve leaves for the video shop at about 11:30 am. Not wanting to wait, Billy gets started immediately. He pulls all the ingredients out and puts the on the counter. He opens the cookbook while grabbing the eggs and flour he need for the pasta dough. He looks at the instructions and pauses. There are no quantities? He flips the pages back and forth seeing if there’s any quantities on any of the recipes. Nope.
“Fuck.” He sighs, what the hell is he going to do now? He spends about an hour and a half, panicking thinking about what he’s going to do. It’s 1:30 pm when he decides that he is going to be confident, and wing it. He starts with a pile of flour on the counter, and crack and egg in the middle of it, he frowns as the goop gets all over his hands. He looks at the book for guidance, unsurprisingly there wasn’t much. “Nonna isn’t very descriptive” he grumbles as he reads, it says he needs to knead the dough until it forms a ball. Billy sighs, of course he had to pick the most in depth recipe in the book. He decides he’s going to put on some music and hope for the best.
Apparently the music was a good idea, he finished rolling the dough and putting the filling in it by the time the “Scorpions” album was through. He dumps the pasta in the boiling water, what the book forgot to mention though, is that fresh pasta cooks a lot faster than box pasta. Billy figures this out after 5 minutes of cooking, when the cheese starts to float out of their shells, his eyes almost pop out of his head. He grabs the pot and pours the pasta into the colander he put in the sink before hand, he shakes his head, at least only half of them opened. “The other ones look... Good.” Billy decides out loud. He dumps the pre-made pesto sauce into the pot where the pasta was, and lets it heat up. He’s glad he decided to forgo making homemade sauce. He would’ve trashed the whole idea and went to get takeout from Benny’s instead.
By the time everything's finished, it’s 5:30 and Steve’s due home any minute. He decides to put a cloth on the kitchen table, and adding a candle for an extra romantic touch. He gets out the good plates, the ones from the cabinet and not the paper plates sitting in the pantry. He put a heaping serving on each of the plates, and puts them in the oven to keep them warm. He sits down a the table and hopes that the food doesn’t taste too bad. He also hope the rotisserie chicken he had Robin bring over an hour ago, because he forgot all about it, tastes okay with the pasta.
Steve pulls into the driveway, happy to be home. He had a long day and all he wants to do is curl up on the couch with Billy. He gets out and walks to the front door, as he walks in he smells pesto, he smiles as he breathes it in. He walks into the kitchen and sees plates of food and Billy sitting at the table. “Did you make dinner for me?” Steve’s heart fills with warmth.
“I uh... I hope you like it,” Billy smiles nervously, watching Steve as he sits down and picks up his fork. He stabs a tortellini and pulls it up to his mouth. He smiles and takes a bite, his face twitches a little bit, “Wow, Billy, this is... Good!” Steve nods, trying not to show the discomfort on his face. Billys face drops, “Is it that bad?” Billy sighs and begins to explain, “I wanted to do something romantic for you, so I picked out a recipe from your Nonna’s book and there were no quantities, so I just guessed, and-” Billy stops as he hears Steve laughing. “Billy, baby,” He wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes, “I have the version with quantities in my room. You could of just used that one!” Billy splutters, “Wh- I didn’t know! Robin found this one in one of the cabinets!” he pouts as Steve continues laughing at him, “I love you so much, Billy. Thank you for making me dinner,” Steve says and kisses the pout off his boyfriends face.
Billy goes to Benny’s after all, his homemade dinner ending up in the trash, he gets burgers and fries and 2 milkshakes, on chocolate for him, and strawberry for Steve. They curl up on the couch as they eat their burgers, and Steve sigh content. “I’m glad the cookbook didn’t work out,” Billy smiles. They end the night with Indiana Jones and soft kisses.
#harringrove#prompt fill#steve x billy#slight#italian!steve#soft billy#billy hargrove#steve harrington#my writing#fluff
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/04/2021 (Lil Nas X’s “MONTERO”, Mimi Webb, Russ Millions & Tion Wayne)
So, we have a #1 debut, and that’s pretty much the only story here in the UK Top 75 as we get a filler week before Demi Lovato, Olivia Rodrigo and Lil Tjay run in and cause havoc. As for now, “Wellerman” is replaced at the top by Lil Nas X’s controversial “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)”, spending its first week at #1 after making pretty sudden gains assisted by the video and alternate versions – the mid-week projection had this at #15. Elsewhere, we just see the fall-out from Bieber. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
Rundown
It’s a quiet week – only seven new entries, and none from Rod Wave, 24kGoldn or AJR as I had predicted. That doesn’t mean there isn’t some stuff to talk about within the chart, or particularly off of the chart, as we have a fair few drop-outs switching their places with returning entries. In particular, we have Justin Bieber’s “As I Am” featuring Khalid being swapped out for “Anyone” at #25, as well as drop-outs for “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence – slightly premature, I’d think – and all of Lana Del Rey’s songs from last week. We also “Anxious” by AJ Tracey, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Amber Mark and “Toxic” by Digga D exit the chart, but the only real notable loss was “34+35” by Ariana Grande ending its 21-week run on the chart. Returning to the Top 75 in its place – which I cover – we have “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers of course at #73, as well as “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #72, “You’ve Done Enough” by Gorgon City and DRAMA at #70 (really hope this one becomes a hit) and “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #66. In terms of climbers and fallers, we do have some notable gains and losses. For songs travelling down the chart, we have “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G tanking a sharp drop in its third week to #18, “Streets” by Doja Cat shaking off the video gains at #22, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo continuing to collapse at #27, another sharp drop for HVME’s remix of Travis Scott’s “Goosebumps” down to #34 probably due to ACR, which was probably the fate for “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #46. The same probably can’t be said for Drake’s losses, as “What’s Next” is at #40, “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” featuring Rick Ross is at #41 and “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby stalls at #55. We also see falls for “Money Talks” by Fredo and Dave at #50, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey at #51, “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix on its way out at #57, “Headshot” by Lil Tjay featuring Polo G and Fivio Foreign down to #61 off the debut (although it’ll rebound thanks to the album as soon as the next week rolls around), “Ready” by Fredo featuring Summer Walker at #62, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu featuring Drake at #63 and “Day in the Life” by Central Cee at #69. Where it gets interesting are our gains, such as outside the top 40 with “What Other People Say” by Demi Lovato and Sam Fischer which could very well get even higher next week thanks to the album. We also have “Track Star” by Mooski at #53 off of the debut and a couple of tracks entering the top 40 for the first time, those being “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #39 and Majestic’s remix of “Rasputin” by Boney M. at #38. Elsewhere in the top 40, we have “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan at #13 and two songs marking their first week in the top 10, those being “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #10, a song continuing to sour on me, and “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S, an EDM song at #8 that I initially mocked for its soulless repackaging but has honestly got me pretty hooked since. I’m excited to see how this one does. For now, however, let’s get on with our new arrivals.
NEW ARRIVALS
#64 – “Cloud 9” – Beach Bunny
Produced by Joe Reinhart
Beach Bunny is a power pop band who last year released their album Honeymoon on Mom+Pop and it’s basically a modern r/indieheads staple in that it’s an accessible, airy pop-rock record fronted by a woman. It’s not anything unique, really, or different if you look further into it but that’s fine because there’s a lot of vaguely “indie” or music snob releases pushed out every year that miss the charts entirely. It’s a different story, however, when a year later, it gets viral on TikTok and streams its way onto the chart. In that case, we have “Cloud 9” by Beach Bunny, a pretty simple but sweet love song about a guy who just makes her feel a lot better about herself in times where she can’t pick herself up from the rut she’s in. Again, it’s a simple track but enhanced by the wonderful and unique vocal performance from front-woman Lili Trifilo and some pretty great production making sure no guitar lick is missed in this mix, especially in that chorus which is such an ethereal blend of the electric guitar dubs. I would argue that this actually should end at that second chorus even if it ends feeling abrupt as the transition to the final chorus feels a lot less cathartic than it does awkward, especially if the bridge is going to be a simplistic, quirky instrumental meander that doesn’t go far enough to be a guitar solo and hence feels kind of like a worthless addition. As is, this is a pretty great song still, just not the most fully realised once it loses that initial tight surf groove, though I’ll let it pass if we’re going to get rock this good on the charts again. I know this won’t really get more traction for Beach Bunny – or power pop for that matter – but more of this, please.
#52 – “You All Over Me” (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) (Remix) (feat. DaBaby) (Part 2) (Radio Edit) – Taylor Swift featuring Maren Morris
Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner
Sadly, this does not feature DaBaby and is not the remix, radio edit or sequel to any previously released song. Jokes aside, I guess brackets are the next big comeback for pop music, which goes hand-in-hands with remixes and re-releases, hence why Taylor Swift is dusting off this leaked Fearless-era cut for a new recording with country singer Maren Morris, who you probably know from her contributions to Zedd’s “The Middle”. Now whilst Swift is a great songwriter, I do often find myself frustrated by how she treads common ground all too frequently without establishing much different with how a song is structured or how it emotionally connects. This is true not just lyrically but especially sonically as of recent, as despite being written in 2008, it has too much in common with the less interesting cuts off of folklore for me to really care that much. That’s especially if Taylor’s going to undercut the clean acoustic guitars with flourishes of harmonica and crow sound effects, showing some genuine intrigue here before refusing to let any of that develop past a couple stray melodies or notes further back in the mix. I’m trying really hard to be compelled by these re-recordings and re-releases of her back catalogue as I do consider myself a fan, but it’s tough to pay attention when any new compositions we get sound like folklore leftovers with Maren Morris only put to use as decoration, much like HAIM on “no body, no crime” – and we already got an album full of folklore leftovers. I’m not a fan of this, sorry – I can see the appeal, and I do think this has enough of a country tinge to it to make it at least somewhat interesting – but this goes in one ear and immediately out of the other.
#48 – “Tonight” – Ghost Killer Track featuring OBOY and D-Block Europe
Produced by Ghost Killer Track and Kenzy
Screw the formalities and screw the analysis because D-Block Europe are back to add another D-Block to their EU collection – and since they’re Londoners, their only – and that’s Paris, and contrary to the British nature, we’ve let French rap chart in the top 50 out of the fact that they collaborated with two of the most comical rappers in British history. They’ve also linked up with producer Ghost Killer Track, also from France, as this is ostensibly his song even if he intends not to prove himself with this dull piano-based beat and oddly-mastered bass and percussion, which are really just DBE staples. Unfortunately, past the initial comedy of that first line in the chorus, neither Young Adz or Dirtbike LB deliver any stupid lyrics or funny inflections, instead just resorting to being as boring as they can in their constant flexing as possible. I guess the French guy here, OBOY, commands a higher energy in his verse if only through his comical “no, no, no” ad-libs, but he’s the only French speaker in an otherwise basic British trap song that I just cannot see the appeal in when we’ve had song after song from these guys for three years now. This won’t be the last we see of cookie-cutter UK rap this week though so brace yourselves for that.
#47 – “Last Time” – Becky Hill
Produced by LOSTBOY
It’s almost as if the charts are trying to send me off to sleep as here we have Becky Hill, a singer hedging the line between a non-presence and mildly annoying, which is arguably more frustrating than downright infuriating as her slightly smokier voice does not sound bad, just lacking in texture in every way, especially if the multi-tracking is going to be this minimal on a royalty-free deep-house beat produced by Getty Images with a pretty worthless drop, a generic and simple melody of piano stabs for major chords, and a whole bunch of reverb on the vocal take... but it still ends up feeling dry as there’s nothing here to quench that thirst for a tighter, bass-heavy house banger or even a more ethereal, dreamy trance track, deciding to stick to a healthy medium of boring and utter garbage. Yes, that was a singular sentence. I’m not awake enough to form a cohesive sentence less than 40 words long, and this new Becky Hill track is just worsening that if anything. Speaking of...
#21 – “Body” – Russ Millions and Tion Wayne
Produced by Gotcha Bxtch
Who’s Russ Millions? He’s Russ. No, not that Russ. British Russ – or Russ Splash, stylised as Russ splash on Spotify and nowhere else. This confusingly-named fellow appeared on the charts a couple times and possibly most famously with “Keisha & Becky”, a song also featuring Tion Wayne that is referenced on this very track. Sigh, I usually like Tion Wayne but even he can’t be bothered to delivery his usual brand of suave charm or sinister menace, instead opting for a more growling but ultimately completely monotone cadence that doesn’t flatter him or Russ, who one of my friends described as sounding like one of the aliens from Toy Story. This is a pretty by-the-numbers drill beat too, and it’s pretty safe to say that neither Russ or Tion Wayne here are going to bother with wordplay, even when they start pretty smoothly trading bars and Tion Wayne goes for a more unique chopper flow in the second verse. This is just not of any note. Once again, speaking of...
#17 – “Good Without” – Mimi Webb
Produced by Freedo
I assumed Mimi Webb debuted this high because of a talent show she won or something because I’d never heard her name but instead, she just happened to have a major label deal before her unreleased song just happened to go viral on TikTok and just happened to be supported by one of the women who just happened to be the biggest creator on the platform. Yeah, and this song just happened to be garbage, suffering from every possible millennial pop trope and then some, from the mix dressed rather too overtly in reverb, the ugly guitar pluck, a generic indie-girl voice that you swear you’ve heard before in one of those dreadful piano covers of popular songs they use in adverts, as well as this ballad being undercut by badly-programmed trap percussion. I can tell this label is trying to create somewhat of an Olivia Rodrigo phenomenon from this and I for one am terrified of the Poundland knock-offs to come. Screw this.
#1 – “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” – Lil Nas X
Produced by Roy Lenzo, Omar Fedi and Take a Daytrip
At least Lil Nas X will bring some passion into this chart week? Well, not really, as when I hear this I recall that Pitchfork review of his EP, a much-maligned critique that featured the ever-so pretentious questioning if Lil Nas X really enjoyed making and listening to music. It reminds me because I think I now fully get it – at least when Lil Nas X was making slap-dash pop rock with Travis Barker or meme-worthy country rap with Billy Ray Cyrus for less than two minutes apiece, there was something invigorating in the execution or at least in concept. That 7 EP is still not a bad debut at all, but this new single “MONTERO”, a long-anticipated record that went from constantly-teased demo to Super Bowl commercial to Satanic-panicked videos of Lil Nas giving Satan a lap-dance to own the conservatives, has the same remote dreariness to it as “HOLIDAY” did late last year. The acoustic, Latin-flavoured guitar loop reminds me of his much better track “Rodeo” from that aforementioned EP that used its energy for similarly lighthearted subject matter but with some genuine energy, a Cardi B feature and a lot less subtle moombahton creeping in. With that said, I can’t say Lil Nas X didn’t try, as his vocal performance, whilst largely insufferable and strained, gives some energy to an otherwise aggravatingly stunted beat, and makes it a lot more infectious than it has any right to be. Content-wise, the song is essentially about a full circle where Lil Nas X becomes increasingly desperate for a man who starts off lonely and in a bad place, and the irony is that Lil Nas gets more explicitly sexual and crazed due to a combination of the LA life-style surrounding him and the fact that he’s simply, for lack of a better term, “down bad”, despite the fact that this guy doesn’t seem particularly desirable. Lil Nas knows this, though, and acknowledges it in the pre-chorus where he outright says that this guy is living the cocaine-addled celebrity life, but not living it right without Mr. Bullriding and Boobies in his life. I’m happy about the video and the outrage it seems to cause not just within conservative spaces but also amongst the hip-hop community, particularly Joyner Lucas, and I’m pretty happy with how out and proud Lil Nas X is about his sexuality, even if it leads to lines like “Shoot a child in your mouth while I’m ridin’”. I’m just really not a fan of this song past its content, which could really be interesting but falls flat with this plucking production that wastes time in barely two minutes with humming interludes. It’s not bad at all, just not for me.
Conclusion
And that concludes our week, and wow, what a bad week this was for new arrivals. Admittedly, it’s a filler week so only “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” will probably last – or at least we can hope as even if I don’t like the song, I still have to give out an Honourable Mention to someone, and it may as well be Lil Nas X trying to put the effort in. Best of the Week easily goes to Beach Bunny for “Cloud 9”, far and away the only good song here, with Worst of the Week also going out pretty easily to Mimi Webb’s “Good Without”, which is the type of soulless, unmemorable garbage that makes pop music look uninspired, and as a person who writes about the charts constantly, it’s a misconception I don’t want proven or revisited. Dishonourable Mention is a toss-up but I guess I’ll give it to Russ Millions and Tion Wayne for that sprinkle of drill disappointment that is “Body”, and that’ll be it for this week. I predict some impact from Demi Lovato, Lil Tjay and especially Olivia Rodrigo next week, but for now, here’s our top 10:
Thank you for reading – sorry for the grouchiness on this one – and I’ll see you next week!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any.
But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections.
*
Your main fandom of the year?
Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.
Your favorite film watched this year?
The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.
Your favorite book read this year?
Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.
Your favorite tv show watched this year?
Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me?
You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy.
Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?
1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.
Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it.
Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say.
Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else.
Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.
The most missed of your old fandoms?
Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still.
The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out.
Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series.
I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.
You know. If any of it is released for real.
The Good:
I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.
The Bad:
Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.
The Indifferent:
Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??).
*
2020 fic stats
Number of stories: 39
Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu
Total number of words: 152049
Average word count per story: 4kish
Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)
Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)
Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)
Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.
Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)
Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang
*
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.
Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:
Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck.
Leitmotif of the year:
Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt.
Favorite character to write about:
Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out.
Favorite kind of fic to write:
This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness.
And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I?
Biggest disappointment:
Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k.
Biggest surprise:
Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form!
I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.
Something you learned this year:
Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more.
Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.
I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle.
My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire.
Most memorable comment:
So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’.
What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?
So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(
All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.
Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?
Goals:
I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!
Aside from writing -
I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong.
I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all.
And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people.
I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.
I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER).
*
(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
MANIC TRACK CLAIM
It’s been a week since Manic and I wanted to get this up a few days ago so I’m just going to post the track claims I have received
Reviews and reactions of Manic ✨
ASHLEY: ok so I really liked ashley especially as an opening track because it deals with a subject that's tricky for both halsey and fans; when fame becomes too tough or if halsey falls out of love with it, what will happen? i really liked the lyrics, especially the line about bursting into flames, because a lot of people can identify with that feeling. I loved the sound of the song, the production was so good!! it's one of my top favs from the album :) - @halseylockscreens
CLEMENTINE: "Clementine" exemplifies so much of what makes Manic interesting - the lyrics are sad and introspective, while the tone is playful and almost whimsical. It's inspires nostalgia and hope all at once. The way Halsey embraces the contradictions in herself - not needing anyone, but also needing everyone - is something that so many people, myself included, can relate to. It's sweet, sharp, and cathartic - especially the final "and then some" she belts in the background. It's in my top five for Manic! - @manic-nightmare
GRAVEYARD: I’ve said it before but Graveyard was the song that I heard and knew that this would be my favorite album. I think the use of guitars in the album is really pretty and really sells that it’s Ashley. Halsey singles are usually fast past and flashy but Graveyard feel so personal. Even the upbeat parts remind me of a heart beat after running for a while and you’re trying to catch your breath. The first time I heard it I thought that it was about G-eazy and abusive relationships but the more I listen to it and the music video makes me think it’s also about her relationship with herself. Ashely and Halsey are two different people Halsey represents all the bad and good of mental illness she’s loud,speaks her mind,gets angry, she feels everything so intensely and Ashley is in the background trying to keep up. The gasp is one of my favorite parts of the whole song, one thing she’s always done and has perfected on this album is whispers/talking in songs that makes it feel like she’s talking to you. I think I love Halsey so much because a lot of her songs feel like a friend telling you all their secrets and thoughts.- @leocaitelin
YOU SHOULD BE SAD: You Should Be Sad is a very strong fourth track on Manic with a country influence to what is an angry pop song. Lyrically, the song has a nice flow to it that is complimented by the upbeat guitar. As Halsey stated in a tweet this is the “after he cheats” song; as she looks back at her relationship with an ex. Sure, this is not the poppunk song we all expected from the original snippet of the bridge that is “hey hey hey hey” and not “yeah yeah yeah yeah” but the anger soaks through her lyrics and into her words that it coats how you feel. By the end the song becomes sad, almost remorseful and finishes with a soft harmony. All in all, not a bad song.- @hunterthewriterworld
FOREVER...(IS A LONG TIME): Let me tell you right now that even though this isn’t in my top tracks of the album, I was destined to claim it as my track simply because of the rain sounds in the background... rain is my favourite thing and the second I heard it I knew it was a sign. I love how it starts sounding all cute and then at the ‘just right’ part it sounds like doubt is starting to creep into her mind and then the song takes a complete turn. I think Forever... is one of the most interesting songs on the album and I love how it goes into Dominic’s interlude! - @youshouldbemanic
I HATE EVERYBODY: Alright “I Hate Everybody” is so fucking good musically and lyrically speaking. This one blew our minds because halsey is so fucking honest about how she let someone elses opinion about her have a bigger impact or effect on her than just being enough on her own. She´s so self reflective on her behavior in this song it´s almost as if she´s discussing it to get a clear pattern or picture about it for herself - she´s analyzing her previous behavior to state the point that SHE is important - not anyone else in this context. There seems to be a shift in her self perception. We immediately fell in love with this song because it is so relatable in our opinion. We immediately understood that feeling and could relate to it in some way or another. This song kinda feels like sitting down with halsey to talk about what is going on superficially speaking and then internally speaking because both those aspects often differ a lot from each other (e.g. how your friends, your partner etc. sees you or thinks you´re feeling vs. what is going on inside your head). We also loooove how the music is pretty tender and it seems as if the persona halsey is kind of telling a story very calmly and then when it comes to the chorus it seems as if ashley is coming through - this is when the music and the lyrics become more dynamic in a way. And we don´t know if it´s just our perception but we love how the music is giving the song a kind of sarcastic tone that adds to halsey´s criticism of herself. -@twinzmoon
WITHOUT ME: I've seen a lot of people say that they are tired of this song. That it came out too long ago. That it doesn't belong on Manic, etc. I get it, but I don't agree. I will say that I love the live performances of this song better than the album version. I think more emotion and more pain come out in her vocals when she sings this live. Most of the lyrics are talking about helping and supporting the other person and only a little about the hurt and anger of being betrayed. It's what goes along with that, what goes on in your head after being cheated on that gives this song a place on Manic. Having been cheated on myself in a previous relationship, I feel all of that extra, unstated in the lyrics turmoil everytime I hear this song. The why wasn't I enough? What did I do or not do that they needed someone else? Am I lacking something that they needed? Is it something about the way I look? The way I act? The way I talk? The self doubt, self loathing and distrust when you start a new relationship. I got lucky and I have a wonderful, amazing girlfriend now, but it's taken me a while to be able to trust in this relationship after being cheated on in the previous one. I both love and hate this song. I love it because maybe not in the exact way, but I've had this happen to me. I got through it and I'm in a better place now. I hate it because I feel all of the confusion, anger, doubt and self loathing everytime I hear it. Either way, it's a powerful, emotional song. - @anf-stuff
KILLING BOYS: I had to listen to this song a few times through before I was truly able to appreciate it, mostly because it wasn't really what I was expecting. With the title "killing boys," and the obvious allusion to the movie Jennifer's Body, I guess I was expecting something angrier, more violent and aggressive, maybe more "Nightmare"-esque. And there's definitely a lot of anger in there, but it's not so loud and hostile and combative; it's all tempered by this kind of reflective, retrospective, "over it" attitude that you see throughout the album. She describes these bitter and vengeful actions like kicking in doors and keying cars and breaking windows in the verses, but they're all followed by a lot of "not anymores" and "never agains" in the chorus. And even the music itself gives the same effect; the whole song has that kickass percussion running under it, but the melodies aren't very harsh, and her voice is soft and almost somber. I love this song because I feel like this is the song on the album that fully embodies, both lyrically and musically, what Ashley said about setting out to write "dark and angry" music and realizing she simply wasn't angry anymore. -@gaygirlslove1d
SUGA’S INTERLUDE: I have to admit that I kinda put this song aside for a little while. I only listened to this song once when it was first released. It was released the same day as Finally // Beautiful Stranger and I was a little obsessed with that song. Obsessed enough to change the words a little so I could sing it to my girlfriend. But enough about that, on to my review. After listening to Suga's Interlude more, I like the song a lot. It's not one of my top favorites from Manic, but it's really good. Halsey's voice is interesting on her part. Sweet with a hint of sadness. Suga has a very nice flow in this song. I had to look up the English translation for his part. I have seen several interpretations about the meaning of the song, but to me it's finding out that just because you reach your goal or are living out your dream, it doesn't mean it'll bring you happiness. The song fits really well on Manic in my opinion. So maybe not the best song that Manic has to offer, but still a very good song.- @anf-stuff
MORE: This is a deeply personal song. I had mentioned this yesterday, I feel personally attacked for having picked this song. As a mother of two boys, I feel like I can say that. “Wooden floors, little feet.” “Little screen, photograph.” “When you decide it’s your time to arrive, I’ve loved you for all of my life.” It’s a known fact that Ashley has endometriosis. It makes it hard to get pregnant. It’s also been mentioned that she suffered miscarriages—not only that, she was performing on stage while going through at least one of them. Ashley has always been open about reproductive health and her story with it. It hits hard at special place—whether you want to be a mother or not. The lullaby, like off a mobile over a crib. The end that sounds like a sonogram, before you were to hear a baby’s heartbeat. How the audio is muffled as if you were listening from inside the womb. I was crying by the end of it, let me tell you. It is one of my favorite tracks, by far. The soft ones always are. It is a song of hope and heartache. Anger and longing. It is filled with truth that is Ashley’s, but so many can relate to. - @stopitchris
STILL LEARNING: I loved it, it’s not one of my favourites but it was fun and has a really good message!!!!And it’s also something I’m still working on myself; learning to love myself. It’s a hard journey but its achievable. The beat and lyrics were moving and deep and overall enjoyable!!!! -@pinklemongay
929: First impressions- cool strumming, OH NO HOSPITAL BEEP I AM GONNA CRY, OK GOOD ITS HER TALKING HER KITGLE LAUGH I LOVF JER SO MHCJ FUCKKKK SHES SO CUTE 🥺🥺, can’t remember half the time i’ve been alive, don’t meet ur heroes 🥺, THE FEATURE FUCKING LINE!!!! okgbn!!!!!, I wANT TO THORW UO, I HACE NEVER CRIED HARDER, AHHH, I CANT EVEN PROCESS IT SORRY, no lyrics to say bc i cant breathe properly, I KNOW DONT KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF 🥺🥺🥺🥺, sorry i need to listen to this again, MY MORAL COMPASS IS ON A VACATION, big coming of age movie vibes, this will be my Special Song i can feel it 🥺, i have felt every emotion. -@wreckageofmylife
WIPE YOUR TEARS: Wipe your tears is a very airy song that is almost reminiscent of the room 93 era. It has a twinkly aspect and deals with much darker themes. Yet it is also reminiscent of nightmare in the sense that it sounds more like a poem put to music. This song is also one of what the fans would call a “bi-anthem” as Halsey is talking about a girl which is very nice to hear. Personally I’m glad that this is only a bonus track as it is really short and does not fit the theme of the album. Yet it is still a bop and the better of the two bonus tracks. -@hunterthewriterworld
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.
fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.
tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya
My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES ? / NO / IDK.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]
Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.
Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.
How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]
How strictly do you follow canon? — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies. that too. but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him. so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms. theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi. and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ? but that’s dumb and confusing. i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting? a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us? i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is. i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways. i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?). hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism. he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves. he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !! Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else. his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong. i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom. maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim. im not very sure tbh.
What inspired you to rp your muse? — hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music. i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life. this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas. shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year. ziggy became my hobby but also my homework. he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.
What keeps your inspiration going? — honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc. ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ... cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different. and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human. the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way. obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / SOMETIMES?
Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]
Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / I DUNNO?
Are you confident in your writing? YES / HAHA NO.
Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / IDK ?
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — definitely! like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better. had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory? and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows? had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better. if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment. my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine! i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that. i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.
Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself. im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)
#a lot of it is under the readmore because these always get so long and mine is long long long long long long long long long long long#ooc#KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue#and thakn you for tagging me ! i like to mkae Words
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
My fansign experience (10.04.2019)
Soooo after 2 months here finally comes my fansign experience. I will try to keep it short but still it will be way to long so I will place it under the cut after Hongjoong. I hope I don’t make anyone sad or something and it can make you smile a bit maybe~
Hongjoong
When I came up to him and told him that I am nervous he instantly told me not to be nervous and tried to make me laugh. When I asked him why he said that I am cute when I laught. He then proceed to laugh with me about my post-it question which was telling me the mental ages of the members. Afterwards we still had time since Seonghwa was still busy so I let him guess my age. He asked if he should guess in korean or german age and I told him that he could decide and he decided on german age. He then leaned back and proceed to drag his gaze up and down until he settled on my eyes. And guess what. He said 23 which is kinda right since I tun 23 later this year. We were both so surprised since normally noone guesses my age right and he was surprised probably that he got it right and that I am older than them ^^
For the general vibes he gave me during the fansign: He has such a calm and funny vibe. He was nervous, you could tell, but he was always sure of himself and about what he was saying to you. Truly the perfect leader who did everything he could to calm you down or make you laugh depending on what he thought would help you more ~
Seonghwa
Let me give you something of his trained english: “HI, oh you bought shiber with you. How are you.” ... “Nervous? Me too, so nervous.” He leaned so close while we were talking. His post-it question was about his favorite korean food. And he asked me if I have ever eaten Ramen in the end and I was like “Yeah yesterday before the concert.” He was so surprised, happy and excited and was telling me that he actually ate ramen 10 minutes before the fansign and that I shouldn’t tell anyone ^^ In the end he gave Shiber a pat and said that I should come to Korea to eat with him. Poor baby was wearing so much make up tho.
Seonghwa has such a calming vibe. Like, I literally thought I would freak out while sitting in front of him. But he hold eye contact all the time and let me tell you, you could see his eyes shining with happiness. He was so happy and it managed to calm me down instantly. I don't know how often he told me how nervous he is too. It makes you feel so much better knowing that they were struggling with nervousness too.
Yunho
The first thing after he read my name was saying how muched he loves my name. He also loved that I am becoming a teacher. Though he guessed that I'm a English teacher since my english was so good. When I tried to explain him what I am studying he was struggling to understand what I mean with the word math but he understood biology. After he read my post-it note (where I asked him to write down some encouraging words for studying) he asked me why. So I told him that I was struggling with university and was scared to actually fail it in the end. Yunho said that I should always study hard and that whenever I feel that it gets to much that I should know that he will think about me. I told him that he is cute when I got up to get to Yeosang and he got so shy ~
Yunho gives the BIGGEST boyfriend vibes! Idk. It's so hard to describe actualy. But he was so curious about my studying and teaching. And I think he kinda felt bad that he didn't understood a word, but hyped me up anyway. I got the feeling that you could tell him everything and anything and he would listen to you! He always looked to endluged in whatever atiny was telling him. If you ever need someone to just listen to your rambles and then tell you that everything will be alright you will love him!
Yeosang
He. Is. So. Cute. And.. he didn't shave^^ He had so much make up on his face trying to conceal it but you could see it clearly. It was so adorable. And he was wearing blue contact lenses. Oof. I asked him to sort all member into Hogwarts Houses (because I knew from a gc beforehand that Yunho would get that question like 3 times already) and he was so eager to do it. He struggled with some word but I had written the house names in the original colors so that helped him. Actually he asked me to help him sort after a while and it was so much fun (San was watching me while doing it because he was bored but I will scream about it later). It was especially funn when we had written down 7 members and we both were looking down left and right wondering who we forgot to sort (it was Jongho btw) :D
Yeosangs vibes are just.. He is so cute. The cutest. You could actually see in his eyes how nervous he was, but he tried his best to talk to you. His english might be broken but he was so sweet trying so hard to make you understand what he was saying. He used up so much time talking to Atiny, the staff in the back almost always tapped him on his shoulder and saying that he was taking too long. And he gave me and others such a good and calming vibe because of it. Like a rock in a waterstream or something. If I ever had a problem I would go to him and he would just hold me and tell me it's fine.
San
OMG San. First of all, before I even got a chance to meet him, he- ugh. Let me tell you something. I was sitting first row, number 17, when I had to get up to start getting in line he still had no one sitting in front of him. So he saw me picking up Shiber and getting in line (I didn’t saw that). A bit later when I was waiting in line I watched the members one by one because I felt like somebody was watching me. San.. He was starring at me. Because he saw me waiting there with a Shiber plushie. When we locked eyes he made a sign like “I am watching you, just you wait until you get here” and was smiling so brightly. When he had to look away because atiny sat in front of him I broke down. I actually found myself sitting on the floor you can’t fcking believe!
Okay so when it was my turn to talk to him he was waiting for me (Later in pictures and videos I could see that he actually really was waiting. He looked at me and even had the fcking decency to tilt his head and everyone says his eyes screamed “cute” while he was watching me talking and discussing with Yeosang). The first thing he did was scolding Shiber: "Hey Shiber. What are you doing? You are supposed to be in my bed! What are you doing in her lap, hmm?" It was so funny but I got a bit defencive I guess because I answered: "he's here to protect me because I'm nervous" He just looked up to me and smiled?!! And then to Shiber again: "Good Shiber. From no on you protect her and make her smile for me yeah?" I DIED. When he looked down to write in the album he had his hand open on the table for me to hold it, like an open gesture, but I was so shy. I took it tho after a short while and he smiled and HAD THE FCKINGASLJHDFALSJD sorry.. he pulled his fingers in so my hand was touching him more (what freaking fanfiction is this). And actually, it helped so much to calm me down. He wasn't surprised at all about the kkt groupchat I am in and he was happy about it translating everything he wrote down so I could tell them in the groupchat how much he appreciates them. I had a second question prepared, because I am selfish like that where I basically told him that he is the dimple kind and if I could be his dimple queen (since I have dimplse too) San just smiled and said that I can be his queen ~ He high fived me, smiling down at our hands and even continues talking to me while I was already sitting in front of Mingi (I’m sorry Mingi sweetheart).
Now his vibes: Like.. oof. You just sit in front of him and get all kind of different vibes from him at once. Cute. Handsome. Maybe even get a bit scared if he comes to close. Boyfriend. Soft. Respect. But his voice is so soft, it makes you feel all kind of things. And he respects you so much. Like, the others hold their hands up so you can touch and high five them and he just hold his on the table in front of me (I actually didn’t saw him doing it for anyone else) and let me choose if I wanted to hold hands or not. Such a happy vibe
Mingi
Mingi sunshine I’m so sorry again ^^. But still so much fun honestly. The first thing he did was greeting Shiber and then got cut of by San because he still wanted to talk to me (I’m so sorry Mingi, I couldn’t help myself. How should I say no to San?!) While San and I were talking he signed my album silently. He was so glad that I translated the question and wrote it down in english and korean (my question for him was to list his 3 favorite things to do in his spare time). He was so happy about his question and so he wrote down his answers way to fast. And then he tried to translate them for me (Eat, listening to music, going to the sauna). He asked me which ateez concept of the album I like more the red or the black one. I said black and he was surprised and tried defending the red side ^^
He has such little lost baby kitten vibes. Mingi has so much energy in him and you could see he wanted to just run around. Especially in the end it seems to get really hard for him to just sit still. He was so active he even managed to knock over his water bottle while talking to one of the first atinys xD
Wooyoung
My baby Wooyoung. He was so nervous and looked so scared and insecure. I just wanted to hug him, but of course I wasn’t allowed. When he read my name he was confused because I wrote it normally and in korean. But instead of a “j” I used an “i” in the korean version because it sounds like an i if you pronouce it. I tried to explain to him why I wrote it like this, but I don’t think he understood. While he was signing he started to sing to one of the songs playing in the background but stopped when I joined quietly. I felt so betrayed ^^ He smiled about the question (I asked him what I could do to make him happy) He didn’t translate what he wrote down and I needed 2 weeks to get it translated (work on your fcking handwriting woo baby) Sadly we didn’t talk at all while he was writing. Of course I don’t know the reason for it. I actually think it was because I was one of the first and he was still too nervous, because I saw him smiling and opening up more and more while the fansign went on. When he gave me a high five he intertwined our fingers and said he is happy just like this. I told him that he is cute especially when he smiles and that he is loved by me and Atiny. He got so shy and said thank you ~
Wooyoung was so shy. You know how he always acts so confident, but he is such a shy bean and insecure. And he is pure. So we two were actually just two shy beans sitting in front of each other that didn’t know what to do. But he still has much more confidence than I do. The bit we talked were all initiated by him ^^
Jongho
Jongho is so precious. And he just basically overflows with confidence. I was a wreck when I finally came to him but he was so nice and understandable. His english is really good and you could see that he knows what effect he had. His post-it not was to rank his members from the funniest to the lamest. He started but then decided he want my opinion too. So we sorted them together when he struggled with deciding who was funnier. He smiled so much at me and holds deep eye contact while talking actually. We laughed together about his hippo head and the choices he made on the post-it. When I needed to get up he told me I was cute (this btch). I told him he was cute too and he didn't believe me (maybe because of the hippopotamus head). Since he was sitting in front of me we had some cute moments when he was bored. Looking and smiling at me, encouraging me to take pictures of him
Jongho gives really down to earth vibes. He was so calm. Sure he was confident but he was bubbling with energy and happines you could see in his eyes how he was containing himself. And the respect he gives you. I was red as a tomato when I finally reached him (I saw that on video, so no one can tell me otherwise), but he talked normally with me ignoring my internal struggles. He only broke when I told him that he's cute :D
Final words
This fansign was THE best day in my life so far.
If you ever get the chance to meet them or you are struggling to decide if you wanna try to see them just do it. Its worth the stress and the money and your time. (The fansign actually cost me less than the concert ^^)
They ruined my biaslist those 2 days completly. Yunho at the concert and everyone else at the fansign. San is still on top and will forever stay there tho.
I hope you had fun reading my little rant ~<3
#Ateez#Ateez fansign#Ateez first global fansign#Ateez global fansign#Ateez fansign in berlin#Ateez in berlin#Ateez global fansign in berlin#Ateez 100419#Ateez 190410#Hongjoong#kim hongjoong#Seonghwa#Park seonghwa#jeong yunho#Yunho#jung yunho#yeosang#kang yeosang#san#choi san#shiber#choi shiber#mingi#song mingi#wooyoung#jung wooyoung#jongho#choi jongho#Atiny in berlin#best day in my life
301 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Cardi B in the March 2019 issue of Harper’s BAZAAR. QUEEN.
Cardi B Opens Up About Her "Rags to Riches" Cinderella Story
When Cardi B visits her favorite nail salon in the Bronx, she enters through a raggedy hallway covered with a rug emblazoned with the image of a $100 bill. The salon, which overlooks a bustling avenue of pizza shops, sports-gear superstores, and boutiques with weaves in 70 colors, is a temple to money, excess, and sexiness, symbolized in the application of nails that look like diamond-encrusted Buck knives. Portraits of two icons of pulchritude hang on the walls—namely, Marilyn Monroe and the very 2019 version of Marilyn: Cardi.
With a posse that includes her dad, her half-sister, her half-brother, and two Drogosize bodyguards whose names I don’t catch but imagine to be Bulwark and Spear, Cardi, 26, heads toward a private side room. She surrenders her hands and feet to Jenny Bui, her sharp-tongued nail tech of more than half a decade, even back when she didn’t have the money to move out of this borough.
A tiny, makeup-less sprite in magenta leggings and a playful Moschino sweatshirt, Cardi talks about where she’s at today. On one hand, she says, “I feel like my life is a fairy tale and I’m a princess—rags to riches, people trying to sabotage,” she says. But she also complains fervently about being over the fairy-tale life and wanting peace and quiet. “Before, I cared about everything—relationship, gossip. Now I don’t feel like I have the time to please people,” she explains. “I don’t care about anything anymore—just my career and my kid.” What about money, the thing she raps about caring for quite a bit? “Well, I care about my career because of my money,” Cardi says, giving me a “c’mon, stupid” face.
“Before,” in this context, means before the tectonic shifts that have taken place in Cardi’s life in the past year: that she became a global superstar; relocated from New York to Atlanta to live with the charismatic rapper Offset, her new husband; gave birth to an unplanned but much loved daughter, Kulture Kiari, in July; then, five months later, after the drip-drip-drip of rumors about Offset’s infidelity, announced on Instagram that the marriage was over.
Today Cardi tells me that Offset has been to her apartment, but they haven’t seen each other and are “not really” talking, which is a bit hard to believe after she shows me videos of her gurgling baby on her iPhone and happens to scroll past a photo of Offset with a time stamp reading today. When I ask her if she’s getting back with Offset, I can almost hear her curious entourage, who have arranged themselves on sofas on the perimeter of the room, lean forward to catch the answer. For a moment, the only sound is Bui engaging in some hard-hat-level sanding and scraping of the star’s three-inch nails. Then Cardi says both, “I don’t think so,” and “Who knows? You never know, you can never tell,” neither of which is exactly a definitive answer.
I’ve interviewed dozens of pop stars, and Cardi, despite the massive entourage and the bear-claw-like nails, seems the most normal. She’s not the most down-to-earth or the most perfect, and she’s definitely not the least into social media, but she knows who she is and where she came from, and has somehow managed to keep expressing genuine emotions in the face of blockbuster success. And while her emotions can sometimes seem out of control, who hasn’t been there? We might not have screamed and thrown a shoe at Nicki Minaj at a Harper’s Bazaar event this past September (in retribution, Cardi has said, for various slights from Minaj, including liking a negative comment about her parenting skills), or allegedly ordered an attack on two female bartenders at a strip club visited by Offset (a judge issued orders of protection in December for the accusers), but we’ve all been mad as hell. And the unbearable cuteness and sexiness of Cardi, a raunchy L.O.L. doll, quickly erases those moments, drowning them in adorable high jinks.
Leaving aside the fake nails and boob implants, with Cardi the artifice is in the artwork. In the space of less than a year, her music, videos, and fashion have made her a star of Lady Gaga proportions. She releases hit after hit; following last summer’s “I Like It,” the first Latin trap song to rise to number one on the Billboard Hot 100, with “Money,” a song, unsurprisingly, about money. In the video, she wears gorgeous clothes (she’s got “10 different looks and my looks all kill,” she raps), including outfits referencing Thierry Mugler, a gold bikini inspired by 1990s Lil’ Kim’s, and a custom Christian Cowan bodysuit fabricated from dozens of actual watches. She’s a post-Kardashian American superstar, a master of selfies, belfies, late-night Instagram videos, and all other manner of self-promotion— and also a creative genius. In 2019, no one needs to pick.
Raised in the Bronx, Cardi was the naturally rebellious daughter of a Trinidadian-born cashier mother and a Dominican Republic–born cabdriver father. Her mother was strict. Nevertheless she joined the notorious Bloods gang, moved out of her mother’s home and in with a boyfriend and, finding herself broke, took a job as a cashier at a grocery store. To build a nest egg, she became a stripper. To build a bigger nest egg, she became a hot girl on social media. In 2015, she was cast as a lovable loudmouth on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip Hop: New York, then began releasing her own mixtapes. Her debut single, “Bodak Yellow,” went to the top of the charts, and it took her only one album to achieve escape velocity: Invasion of Privacy, arguably the best debut album from a female rapper since Lil’ Kim’s 1996 Hard Core.
It’s an intense time for Cardi, now one of the biggest rappers—and one of the most famous women in the world—caring for an infant and dealing with a semi-estranged husband. Her answer is to be as real as she can. As much as she may imagine herself as a princess, she talks about admiring Meghan Markle for becoming a real one. “She must just be like, ‘Who am I?’” Cardi says, referring to Markle’s having to live by the royal family’s rules. Not being able to be herself would be the worst punishment for Cardi.
Up and down, joy and pain, sunshine and rain—we’ve experienced all her days on her social media channels, where she posts close-up, emotional videos like an Instagram mime. She’s not your typical grasping celebrity, and doesn’t get off on endless adulation. “I work with somebody who gives me compliments all day, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh, can you just stop?’” she says.
Cardi’s fans have been so protective of her that when Offset broke in to her set at a concert, walking onstage with a $15,000 rolling floral display made of 2,000 roses that read TAKE ME BACK CARDI, they exploded on social media with anger over a man who refused to take a woman’s “no” at face value. (A backstage video showing one of Cardi’s reps escorting Offset to the stage did little to dim the outrage.)
I ask if any family or friends influenced her decision to leave Offset. “No, I decided on my own,” she declares, looking me straight in the eye. “Nobody makes my decisions about my life but me.” Before they broke up, Offset begged Cardi to see a therapist. “I didn’t want to go to marriage counseling,” she says, in a firm tone of voice. “He suggested it, but it’s like, ‘I don’t want to go.’ There’s no counselor or nothing that could make me change my mind.”
Like many women who’ve experienced heartache and alleged infidelity, she seems caught between wanting to stay and leave. As Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Eat Pray Love, Offset is “[her] lighthouse and [her] albatross in equal measure.” But Cardi also knows that dating new guys might be bizarre. “I have a kid, and I’m also famous,” she says quietly. “So I can’t just sleep with anybody. People talk. You know, if I date somebody in the industry, that’s another person in the industry. If I date somebody who is not in the industry, he might not understand my lifestyle.” Since the breakup, she’s been getting a ton of messages from guys but ignoring them. “It’s like, ‘Bro, why would you want to holler at me right away? You’re weird.’ If you think Imma automatically hop onto you after a marriage, that just means you think I’m a sleaze. And I’m not. I have a kid—I have to show an example.”
Bui, who has been listening intently to our interview while crafting Cardi’s nails, waves a hand and then interjects, “You’re so old-fashioned!”
“Jenny, just because I’m out there and very sexual doesn’t mean that I have to be whorish,” says Cardi. “I like to have sex. That doesn’t mean I have to have it with everybody.” She pauses, then adds, “Not that I judge women who want to have sex with the world.”
Done with her rant, Cardi turns her attention to her nails. “Damn, that’s sharp,” she says to Bui, whistling a little under her breath. “The polish will make them less sharp, right? Because we can’t forget about the baby.” Ignoring her, Bui says only, “Don’t move.”
Throughout our conversation, Cardi has been jiggling her leg up and down like a schoolkid. I ask her how long she’s had that habit. “Forever, and you know what? People always talk shit about it, but now it’s like, ‘Ha ha,’ because when I do it my daughter likes it,” she says.
Despite the indelible image of Cardi breast-feeding in the “Money” video, wearing a black gown open at the bodice, she isn’t breast-feeding Kulture, whom she’s nicknamed KK. “It was too hard,” she explains. In fact, she spent most of the time after the baby was born in a haze of postpartum depression. “I thought I was going to avoid it,” Cardi says. “When I gave birth, the doctor told me about postpartum, and I was like, ‘Well, I’m doing good right now, I don’t think that’s going to happen.’ But out of nowhere, the world was heavy on my shoulders.”
Realizing that taking KK with her on the tour bus was unrealistic but unable to bear leaving her at home, Cardi dropped out of a lucrative tour with Bruno Mars. She started feeling better a couple of months after the baby was born, she says, and her mother has been helping out; Cardi hasn’t hired professional help because she isn’t sure she can trust anyone outside her family.
As a new mom, Cardi is still experiencing aches and pains. “For some reason, I still don’t feel like my body’s the same,” she says. “I feel like I don’t have my balance right yet. When it comes to heels, I’m not as good at walking anymore. I feel like I’m holding a weight on me. I don’t know why because I’m skinnier than I’ve ever been. But there’s an energy I haven’t gotten back yet that I had before I was pregnant. It’s just the weirdest thing.”
The baby is starting to help Cardi balance her emotions, though. “Sometimes I’ll see something online and it’ll piss me off, and then my baby will start crying or something, and it’s like, ‘You know what? I’ve got to deal with the milk. Forget this.’” She’s thinking about pulling back a little from social media. “I’ve noticed that every time you respond, you just make things worse, so I’m over it. I’m just over it. I really don’t need it, and sometimes it just brings chaos to my brain.” She adds, “I can stay off social media. I’ve been trying.” For months after KK was born, Cardi didn’t put pictures of her on social media, and certainly didn’t sell any to the tabloids. She says Offset wanted to put a picture up, but she was unsure.
“As soon as she was born, one month in he was like, ‘She’s so beautiful. Watch how people gonna go crazy.’ ’Cause a lot of people were saying mean stuff, like that we don’t post her because she’s ugly. He was like, ‘I’m about to post my baby right now.’ But then we were very concerned because we were getting a lot of threats, so he said, ‘The world don’t even deserve to see her.’” Eventually Cardi wanted to put a photo up because “it’s really annoying and we don’t have a life. We have to hide her all the time. I can’t go to L.A. or Miami and walk down the beach with my baby. I want to go shopping with my baby. I want to take a stroll with my baby. Sometimes I feel bad for her because all she knows is the house.” But can’t you put on a baseball cap? I ask. Will people still recognize you? “Yeah,” she says. “It’s my nose.”
Bui applies a final coat of purple paint on Cardi’s nails—a brief discussion ensues about whether the shade is the exact “baby purple” Cardi has requested—and then she talks about needing to get home to go to sleep. “I’ve got a big meeting in the morning in Boston,” Cardi says, nodding slowly. “Lots of money in Boston.” She begins horsing around with her six-year-old half-brother, ribbing him for being rebellious the way she used to be. “He’s a child of the corn!” she wails. “He’s just like me.” (Her half-sister adds, “Like you, sharp but sweet.”) Bui says she thought that when Cardi hit it big, she wouldn’t see her in the salon again. “I told her, ‘You’re going to forget about me,’ ” Bui says. “And she said, ‘Never.’”
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
This Week’s Playlist (2/14)
Not sure how I got hooked on this idea- but this week I’ll be focusing entirely on 70s songs (and next week I’ll do 80s). Disclaimer: I’m not saying these are my favorite songs of the 70s (believe me that would be WAYYY too hard to narrow down), I’m just filling this week’s list strictly with songs released in the 70s.
I’ve also created a spotify playlist made up of all the songs I’ve used on playlists! I’ll update it every week (before I even post the playlist, so if you check at the right time the songs will be there!)
1.) London Calling- The Clash (1979)
I like to define this song as the song that started my descent into classic rock. When I was in 7th grade I had this music teacher who would always play pop music of the late 20th century for class. This song was one of the first songs she showed us, and it became a trademark of the class. We used to get this song played at dances and stuff- so there’s a lot of middle school memory there. Guess we all wanted to be punks- and this is a great boppy song just for that.
2.) All Right Now- Free (1970)
Am I being typical for picking this song...? Perhaps (because honestly, at least where I’m from, this is the only Free song anyone knows... yikes. It’s overused in media sometimes imo). But that doesn’t meant it’s not great! It’s got everything! An epic guitar riff that frames the lyrics, a sick beat, funny rhymes, a killer musical interlude with bangin piano and a guitar solo- all while being undeniably CHILL. This one of those chill summer songs to me; the kind you listen to on a hot, quiet, and sunny car ride through the country with the windows down while wearing sunglasses. That’s just the aesthetic I’ve always associated with this song.
3.) Rock’n Me- Steve Miller Band (1976)
Just try not to bop. I dare you. This is a real dance-a-little-in-your-seat song with a GREAT, smooth flow to it. Killer rhymes and a fast, subtle beat you can’t avoid even if you try. Steve Miller Band is one of my favorite groups of the 70s and I wish they got more appreciation in general. I could’ve picked so many of their songs already for these playlists, but this one stood out to me this week because I feel like it’s very recognizable (I always heard this song as a kid and I feel like maybe some people on here did too). It’s so damn catchy that it’ll just stick with you, so listen and get ready for an earworm. Also a great road trip song.
4.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy- Ian Hunter (1975)
No, this isn’t Great White!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original! I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! *scoff* god, now I can see why Joe Elliott’s always shoving Ian Hunter in everyone’s faces- because he’s worth it! Maybe I’m a little biased, but I personally prefer this version over Great White’s for a bunch of different reasons. For one thing, I think this version focuses more on telling the story rather than trying to make the music over the top. The instrumentals of this one ROCK, but the way it’s constructed with the lyrics makes the story more understandable- essentially, it’s just more raw, and I like the raw sound to it, but that’s just me. You all probably know how the song goes at this point, but after listening to this version you’ll see just how much of it Great White changed. You take it upon yourself to decipher the meaning of the lyrics ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I think we all know what “rock and roll” means at this point...
5.) Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’- Journey (1979)
I don’t like to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, nor was I going to mention it in any way on this playlist- but let me tell you a story: last year on VD, I was driving home from school, and this song came on the radio. Then it hit me- I had completely forgotten about ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs! This is a PERFECT example of one. It tells of an unfaithful someone who gets bitten in the ass by someone else’s unfaithfulness. Talk about a SICK burn! This has gotta be my favorite Journey song as well. It’s like a flash-fiction song; telling a huge story while barely saying anything at all. My favorite part of this song by far is how each instrument has a crystal clear part, and you can very easily pick out each one. The intro of this song is just excellent. You can clearly hear the bass, drums, guitars, and piano all introduced in different ways. It’s just a gorgeous song through and through, and those 189 “na”s at the end just tie it all together (and yes, I counted). You’ll have all the words down before you know it.
6.) You’re All I’ve Got Tonight- The Cars (1978)
Like I said last week, The Cars are one of the perfect combos of rock and pop. If you think about it, this one can be another anti-Valentine’s Day song. The lyrics have a sloppy and desperate feel to them- kinda like the speaker is drunk and throwing themselves at someone because they’re that desperate. “I don’t care if you hurt me some more, I don’t care if you even the score”- like oof man, you just sound desperate. This song is a banger in every way and let’s face it- the keyboard at the chorus is just the absolute best part. Strong points for these guys are always keyboards and guitars. It’s got this rock hard chill 80s vibe to it (despite it being a 70s song- new wave, you know), you’ll feel that you need to be doing something cool while listening to it.
7.) Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin (1971)
It’s so cliche of me to use this I know I know I KNOW- but can you blame me? On Sunday in a record booth at the market I found an original Zeppelin IV and I feel like this song has been following me all week because of it. This is unarguably one the most recognizable and famous rock songs of all time- because it was so expertly crafted in every way imaginable- just like everything else Zeppelin’s ever done. It’s ALWAYS the drums that do it for me in this song. l That filler at the end is- without question- the best part of the whole song. Bonzo just KILLS it. Overall, it’s a short-ish song that uses its time extremely well; it’s like all four of them went “let’s maximize every single element that goes into a bop, and make a song like that”. In some ways, this song is objectively perfect. If you want pure rock and roll in all its glory- what better song to choose than Rock and Roll itself?
8.) Keep Yourself Alive- Queen (1973)
Another objectively perfect rock and roll song with a killer drum solo. I’m super biased towards Queen- but I cannot believe I never heard of this song until I was prepping my brain to see Bohemian Rhapsody! Honestly, who thinks it’s okay to keep this hidden? It’s the leading song off of their very first album- so this is almost like the song that INVENTED Queen fans! It’s a Brian May baby- and hell yeah does it show. I think everyone needs to know this song for artistic and historical reasons. It’s pure, power rock Queen through and through- despite being one of the earliest of their songs.
9.) Cum On Feel the Noize- Slade (1973)
NO, it’s not Quiet Riot!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original!! Again, I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! I get so angry sometimes that Quiet Riot gets all the credit for songs like this one and Mama Weer All Crazee now. Slade was super popular in England in the 70s- ahead of their time for sure but definitely one with the glam rock movement- but not as big in America. I never knew these guys existed until about five years ago and damn I felt like I had to be blind before learning that. Just listen to this song and then I think the sound of it’ll make a lot more sense, like “oh yeah- Quiet Riot’s version kinda DOES sound like it could be a glam rock song from the early 70s!” Just goes to show what geniuses these guys were, because their songs can be both glam rock AND heavy metal and work either way. Once you hear this version, though, I believe there’s no going back.
10.) Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon (1978)
This was my favorite song for a few months when I was 16- it’s absolutely EPIC. The speaker is bursting at the seams with accepting a new found moral understanding of how they feel about trying to please or win over an apparent lover. They come to the conclusion that the other person just needs to keep on “rolling with the changes” and that they’ll be there for them whenever they decide to accept that perspective. The KEYBOARD is to D I E F O R GUYS. Neal Doughty is a motherfucking SAINT- and SO IS GARY RICHRATH. This song sounds like it’s the finale of a musical or something! Possibly the biggest bop REO has ever created. It’s a groovy, extremely poetic, fast, theatrical, very slightly operatic rock and roll song and I’d highly recommend this to any person on the planet I love it that much. It’s lovable in every possible way.
#the clash#free#steve miller band#ian hunter#journey#the cars#led zeppelin#queen#slade#reo speedwagon#weekly playlists#raydio gaga
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pain and Noise (Duff x Reader)
Summary: I was fed up with just about everything that constituted my life, so I started playing.
Warnings: Unprotected sex, mentions of violence, swearing, panic attack.
Wordcount: Almost 5k
A/N: First fic I ever write, I am nervous and this was originally in Spanish, so be nice with my best try of a translation. Enjoy :)
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!
Masterlist: https://slxyangel.tumblr.com/post/189625800403/masterlist
The pain in the back of my hands was intense, searing, and growing worse with every minute I spent holding the drumsticks and unloading my rage over the drums in the studio. The accumulated tension stiffened my fingers, the muscles in my arms were numb and it had been a while since I started feeling my nails spiking my own skin because of the pressure I was putting on it. I didn’t care; I preferred to feel that rather than the anguish that had been threatening to rip off my chest these last few weeks. I don’t know how much time I spent like that. What I do remember is the pain. And the noise.
I also remember sitting on the stool during a little while the guys were out, I’m not sure what for, maybe to grab some food or take a break. They had been working on the album for months, and these days of polishing, re-recording, fixing and tuning everything up for the final version were being especially hard; they deserved a breather. “And so do I”, I told myself while I held Steven’s drumsticks and gave it a second thought, maybe it wasn’t a good idea. He, as any other percussionist, didn’t like it when someone else fiddled with his instrument, not to mention if it happened without him being around to control it. I could only hope that he didn’t show up in that very moment and caught me, because I don’t think I would have the strength to explain him every thought that was circling my head the moment I decided to play his drums, and even less not to drown the whole story with my tears. I mean, come on, it was only going to be a little while.
I had been working with the band practically since the recording process for Appetite for Destruction began. I was in my last year of university, and needed an internship to complete my learning agreement, and, I still can’t comprehend how, my best friend’s father got me plugged-in in Geffen Records. They were the ones who decided that the best option for an audiovisuals student was in the recordings for a young rock band’s debut album. This is how I ended up being Mike Clink’s personal assistant and hanging out with Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff and Steven. The chemistry had been practically automatic, I got along with them pretty quick and, even though I started being basically the coffee girl, I was always very comfortable in such a creative and carefree environment.
I remember those first days in which Mark, my boyfriend, used to drive me to the studio in his car. I could drive, of course, but my new job seemed almost more exciting for him than it did for me, so he insisted in getting me there, picking me up and making me tell him every little detail of my brand-new work life. He was thrilled when I told him how I had spent twenty minutes of my first day talking with Slash and he had shown interest about my studies, my reasons to be there and my general life. “If we’re gonna work together, we might as well be friends”, he said. The guy told me that he had a snake, that his parents were artists and that’s why he had always been so involved with music. He also said he got his first guitar when he was 15 and that he and the guys ended up together out of sheer coincidence, but they had realized they were the perfect combination, so they were really excited about their new project. It was there that I realized I was in the right place and, even if, worst case scenario, the rest of the band hated me, at least I had a new friend.
However, my worries couldn’t be any more unfounded. Once I had talked to Saul, the rest of it went smoothly. Axl was quite a character, for instance, a guy you felt like looking at. Wherever he was (because he couldn’t stand still for a second), your eyes would be glued to him. He had an enviable magnetism no matter what he did: singing one of their songs, bringing order to the mixing desk, finishing off half a liter of Jack Daniel’s… He was the kind of person who seems out of reach from every one of us mortals but, deep down, is a cinnamon roll. Our first interactions (mostly his, let’s be honest) were filled with double intentions. In any case, now that I see it in retrospective and compare it with the way he treated other girls, I came to think that this was his way to know women in general, his default mode. Actually, those anecdotes of conversations I had with the vocalist were worth a fair dose of laughing for Mark and me during our more than usual supermarket-pizza, Ben-&-Jerry’s-ice-cream dinners in the flat we shared. Over time, Axl’s phase of blatant flirting with me faded away, making room for a really close friendship between the two of us.
Izzy, on the other hand, treated me almost as if I was an experiment. Do you know the feeling when you arrive to a new school but the year has already started and everybody is curious about you? Well, that was more or less how the guitarist reacted to my incorporation. He had never been too talkative, or, at least, not as much as the rest of them, so my first days with the brunet can be summed up to him joining conversations between me and someone else, to learn a bit more about me without having to ask directly; to my hand-waving gestures and his responses raising his chin or his eyebrows; or to him offering me drags of his cigarette from time to time, while we waited for the rest of the guys to record their tracks so we could all go partying together. It was interesting. It was entertaining. It was even funny to see us unfolding, adapting to each other until we gained full trust. We could argue that his more reserved, almost wary personality and my own, more explosive and versatile, complemented each other as two puzzle pieces; one had what the other lacked.
And, while Izzy complemented me, Steven understood me. We were two peas in a pod: energetic, chaotic and jam-packed with energy. Basically the kids in the team. Like two naughty twins, we loved to terrorize the studio. We threw stuff at each other, we laughed like crazy, we yelled from one corner of the room to the other the dumbest, most absurd shit you could imagine… One of the activities I enjoyed the most was to scare away the chicks from him. Some afternoons when he was chilling on the couch, unaware and concentrated on hitting on whatever girl he had just met, I arrived, seated next to him on the couch and went full on clingy-ass-girlfriend with him: handsy and unbearable. I interrupted the groupie and put up with Steven’s deadly glares until, after a while, the girl took off, sometimes walking towards one of the other guys, sometimes straight to her house. The drummer always got mad at me when I did this to him, but his anger never lasted for more than ten minutes.
And then there was Duff. He was something else, something different. I had never had such a connection with anyone, and even less with anyone I had met for so little time. Duff had his own light, like an extremely bright star, and I was flashed by it but, at the same time, he irradiated a delightful kind of warmth, too nice for me to voluntarily step away. He was fun, he was compassionate, he was sensible, he was a little bit mad and he made everything unspeakably easy. The rest of the band spent their days saying that we should have sex or betting on whether we were or weren’t conscious of the sexual tension they assured was too obvious between us. At first, we either told them to fuck off or went along with it, but without giving it much of a second thought. At the end of the day, I was dating Mark, who I adored, and Duff knew it. We were nothing but friends, like the rest of the guys.
Weeks went by and I kept getting closer and closer with the bassist: we talked about everything and anything, we told each other countless anecdotes from our lives before arriving to L.A., and he even sometimes helped me with the paperwork. More than once, even though smoking was allowed in the studio, the two of us stepped outside to do it, and a break that was meant to last for 10 minutes ended up being one hour long. When this happened, Slash had to come out for him, wielding his guitar and threatening to smash it on his head if he wasn’t back inside in the following fifteen seconds. In fact, some of those days when it took me longer to finish my job he would stick around and offer me a ride home before he headed to the club, so that Mark didn’t have to come pick me up that far that late.
Of course, it was all being too good to be true. The first day this happened, when I arrived home in “some other dude’s car, instead of a fucking taxi”, Mark’s own words, I found a version of my boyfriend that I didn’t like one tiny bit: wary, silent and mean. When I asked what his problem was I already saw the answer coming, but I just refused to believe he was going to get all possessive over such a nonsense, he had never behave like that. That night we went from yelling at each other to the silent treatment in a matter of a few hours, and the next day, when I got to the studio in my own car for the first time since the guys knew me, that place looked like goddamn press conference. They took less than two minutes to notice I was a little bit off, and less than five to tell me “Dump him, fuck Duff”. I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t broken up with Mark, we had just argued; I would speak to him and we would fix things; that’s what couples did. Bitch, you thought.
For the next few days everything seemed to have turned back to normal: my boyfriend and I were okay, he said he was sorry and begged me to let him apologize by being my chauffeur again. I didn’t quite feel like rocking the boat after that night, so the idea of not driving myself to work didn’t seem that bad, until the days Mark started arriving a little earlier each day. Five minutes, fifteen, half an hour before my cutoff time, as if he had to make sure I went back home with him, as if he had to keep an eye on me. In fact, one of the days in which he arrived with a bigger margin of time, he decided it was a good idea to wait inside the studio while the band was recording, and argued that “it would be a lot more boring to wait in the car”. Over the last days, the guys had noticed how pissed it made me the fact that he was chasing after me, behaving like an asshole and little more than tying a leash around my neck, so Axl stepped up and asked him to leave, since the guy wouldn’t listen to me. I have to admit I was surprised with how calmly the vocalist took the intrusion, taking into account his normally short temper. He told Mark that “it wasn’t his problem if he wanted to be his girlfriend’s chauffeur, but he couldn’t simply burst into a private property as if it was his house, and even less when they were working.” To be honest, that was one hell of a comeback, because if the singer had exposed the real reasons why he wanted him out, the other one would have clutched at straws to the philosophy “She is my girlfriend, you don’t get a saying on this.” But on his argument and on his turf, Axl had the upper hand.
Despite all the efforts, Mark told him to mind his own business and that, if the redhead kicked him out of the studio, he would be behaving like a total dick. Then, as if the destiny was trying its best to fix things, sarcasm be sensed, Duff showed up in the anteroom where we were. As soon as my boyfriend saw him, his eyes started blazing, and it only took the bassist telling him he had to leave and that I was still in my working hours so I wouldn’t go with him, for his fist to connect with Duff’s jaw in a nasty jab. And hell was fucking raised.
Axl pushed Mark, who was holding my arm with the same hand he had punched the blond with two seconds ago. Not letting go of me, he tackled the vocalist, mumbling something I can’t remember. Then he walked towards the front door, grabbing me with him. “Let’s go. Now”, he ordered. His fingers dug into my skin with such anger and despair that I could already feel the bruise forming underneath, and I was half shocked, half scared shitless. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to get in the car with him and I didn’t want any more punches either, but in any case my limbs were not responding to the commands my brain tried to make, whichever they were. It was then that, halfway across the room, before reaching the door, Mark stumbled and fell, finally releasing my arm. The first thing I saw when I lifted my eyes was Duff standing there, with his mouth covered in blood, shaking his right hand once and breathing heavily.
- If you ever touch her again like that, I’ll kill you.
While Mark was trying to get up, Slash stormed in from the recording room. He had seen the events of the last two minutes from his position behind the glass, and he wasn’t going to take any more of that shit. Right before the other one went ballistic attacking the bassist and blood started to hit the fan, Saul grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kicked him, literally, out of the place. Once the metal door had closed between Mark and us, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I vaguely remember I started hyperventilating, on my knees, on the floor, and the sound of punches hitting metal on the outside was all but helping me calm down. As tears streamed down my face and I frantically run my fingers through my hair, a hand started trailing my back. It was a soft touch, slow, really slow. Making its way upwards and then going back down, over again. The noise level had considerably decreased, and now all I could listen to were whispers, the sweetest whispers coming from the mouth of one single person. “Shhhh, easy. You’re having a panic attack. It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here. Breathe.” Little by little my quick and superficial breathing became steadier, and after a few minutes I was able to stand up to sit on the couch. The beating on the door had stopped, and I realized all the guys were surrounding me, worried look on their faces, as Duff, seating beside me, still had his hand in my back.
_________________
It had been two weeks since that day. After the incident, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be under the same roof as Mark, and even less with the fight still recent. Who knows what he would do to me as soon as I crossed the threshold… The guys profusely insisted that I could stay with any of them, but they let me use their phone to call my best friend when I told them I would be in very good hands with her. Laura received me with a warm hug the moment she saw me, and that night, at her home, we cried, we ranted and we ate ice-cream until we couldn’t take any more. I have to admit that, given the circumstances, she managed pretty well to get me into bed feeling kinda happy. But of course, nothing lasts forever. I was about to graduate, with no home (the foster-bed in Laura’s house didn’t count), no boyfriend and no plans of work, projects or future in general; ahead of me there was a massive precipice with seemingly no ending. Besides, the production process for Appetite was coming to an end, and so did my internship and the months of togetherness with the band. Now was the time for press conferences, concerts and, if it all went well, the tour. To be honest I was super happy for them. I had seen the birth of that album, and I was blindly certain that with such a masterpiece they were bound to success. It was inevitable. But in any case, that meant the end of what had given me the most joys in the last four months and, if apart from all the financial and emotional stability I had gained during my college years, someone took that away from me… what did I have left?
__________________
After that much time hitting the drums, I had ultimately interiorized the beat so much now I was just reproducing it on loop, with my eyes closed and breathing heavily. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t realize the door had opened and someone had stepped into the studio. Suddenly I felt how, behind my back, two hands softly landed on my shoulders. I didn’t stop playing. My arms moved now with less vigor to the beat I had marked from the beginning, while those fingers gently traced small circles in the back of my neck, comforting me.
Duff.
It had to be him, I was certain.
Little by little I reduced the speed of my movements, gradually, until I completely stopped playing. When I left the drumsticks on the snares and turned around in the stool I saw him. He was standing there, right in front of me, asking with his eyes, a calm and expressive look on his face. An almost imperceptible sigh escaped my lips. He was worried about me.
- Good thing it was you who entered, and not Steven – I said, half jokingly, as I stood up, hoping to relax the tension built up between us.
- Yeah – he laughed softly. – Had it been him he would have ripped the drumsticks off your hands and hit you with them.
I laughed too, quietly, bitterly. This was too much for me. The words we never said were floating around, like a thousand needles falling into a tailspin above us; eventually, they would have to land. The worst part was that I didn’t know if I craved that moment or, on the contrary, dreaded it.
It looked like he had read my mind when he slowly, almost asking for permission, held my hands. I startled a bit with the contact, but I let him go on. Duff looked at them for a second before he noticed the tiny wounds I had unconsciously inflicted on myself digging my fingernails too hard a while before, at the drums. Without saying a word, he started caressing them very softly, as if he wanted to calm, more than my physical pain, the sentimental one. He was breathing deeply and slightly frowning. He was concentrated in trying to make that feeling disappear, the confusion, the guilt, the fear… the stream of emotions that had been threatening to break me for some time now. He looked me in the eyes. In that very moment, the temperature inside the room raised a few degrees. We were really close. So close I could feel his breath on me, listen to his heartbeat accelerating with every second that went by, see how his lips lightly parted, practically not at all, only a hint of the thought that filled our minds in that place, in that moment. Then, almost involuntarily, as an instinctive reflex, I stretched my neck upwards. That was the only sign he needed to make the already scarce distance between our lips disappear, and kiss me.
The contact was slow, sweet and full of longing. Our lips moved rhythmically, perfectly fitting on each other’s. Duff was still holding my hands, and I could feel my breath accelerating progressively. I released one of my hands and placed it on his neck, stroking the hair on his nape and helping myself keep balance in my tippiest toes. He saw my struggles and moved his free hand to my waist, firmly holding me so that I wouldn’t fall. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to be closer to him, even more. Everything that I hadn’t been able to do and that had bottled up inside of me was now too overwhelming, and I didn’t want to fight it anymore. Our kiss intensified, we hungrily enjoyed each other, panting. The next thing I knew was that Duff had placed his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned my arms on his shoulders, so I could keep kissing him while he crossed the room and sat on the leather couch, with me straddling his lap. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, slightly lifting the hem of my dress, as if he was testing some boundaries that I hadn’t set and, at this point, I didn’t plan to.
I was euphoric, nervous and loaded with desire. In a burst of braveness or lust, I’m not entirely sure, I started to buck my hips, back and forth, following a slow path at first, which progressively accelerated. The friction of my underwear in direct contact with his leather pants was about to drive me mad, and I couldn’t stop. His hands, which a moment ago were on my hips, guiding them, started moving over my lower stomach, tracing the edge of my panties in painfully slow motions. His breath was also heavier, somehow ragged, and I felt him hardening beneath me. His lips were stuck to the base of my neck, lightly sucking as I, with my eyes closed and lips parted into a silent “O”, gently pulled his blond hair. My core grew more sensitive by the minute, and when I thought I wouldn’t be able to hold the moan trapped in my throat anymore, his fingers touched my most sensitive spot, turning my steadily rocking hips not that steady for a moment.
In a matter of seconds, and with his hand working wonders between my legs, I got rid of the dress, which only bothered, and the perspective of my almost absolute nudity on top of his entirely dressed body made me shake with arousal. His free hand took care of my breasts, now exposed, as I dug my nails into his shoulders, underneath the sleeveless shirt he was wearing.
- Take it off – I managed to blurb between gasps.
- What? – Duff seemed confused, too concentrated on something else for having been able to follow the road of my own thoughts.
- Your shirt, take it off. I want to touch you.
A shit-eating grin lit up his face right before he separated in a quick motion from that piece of clothing and threw it somewhere else. Immediately after, in a total change of the atmosphere, he laid back on the couch and, placing his hands behind his head, said:
- Then touch me.
I didn’t hesitate for a single second. My hands flew to his shoulders, his arms, his shoulders again and went down his chest as I peppered kisses all over his lips, jaw, neck, collarbones… I took my sweet time while swinging my hips against the fabric that separated my pussy from his erection, and my nails traced a descending path down his torso, really slowly. I could notice how he was growing desperate; I felt his breath, now turned into a subtle growl, against my hair; I realized how shortly he had managed to keep his hands off me, since now he was caressing my flanks, my back and my chest. When I reached the cord of his pants with my fingers, I slowly undid the knot that tied them together and slipped my hand underneath, without stopping my hip motions. The very moment I found the base of his length, a soft grunt escaped his lips. He was driving me insane.
After a while arousing each other, we couldn’t stand the teasing any longer and Duff took the first step to getting rid of the clothes that were still around. I stood up and took off my sandals so that he could slide my panties down my legs, grazing my skin along the way. He also let go of both his pants and sneakers, tossing them on the carpet. Our moves were clumsy thanks to eagerness and anticipation. I once again sat on top of him, in our initial position, only now there were no clothes in the middle of the road. I could feel him against me. Touch. Friction. Desire. His expert fingers moved now freely over my core, as he left little love bites under my left ear. I kept on rubbing his cock, fully hard and a bit wet, while, with my other hand, I held on to his hair for dear life. We were close, really close. It felt as if every centimeter of my skin was on direct contact with Duff. He was everywhere, every corner, every goosebump, every scar… With all this overstimulation, my moans filled the room, and I didn’t have enough sanity to realize anyone could come in. I was a mess.All of a sudden, right when I was seconds away from cumming, his hands disappeared from my core. Even though I couldn’t see myself, I was sure in my eyes one would be able to read the anticipation and confusion.
- Wait – he said in a desperate whisper -. I want to feel you, I want to be inside of you.
If he hadn’t stopped touching me a moment before, I am sure that sentence would have sent me to the wildest of orgasms, but it wasn’t the time for my sweet release. Not yet. He put his hand right next to mine, on his cock, and, with an almost unbearable slowness, he brought the tip of it to my entrance. A trembling sigh fell from my lips and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I gently let my hips descend on his lap, and he completely slid inside of me, letting escape an unearthly growl that gave me chills. He had dropped his head back, leaving his neck and collarbones exposed to me, but I had my eyes closed as I tried to control the delightful contractions that were about to take over me. I felt him inside of me, extremely deep. As if we were two pieces of the same puzzle, as if we had been manufactured specifically to be together. Now THAT was overstimulation. Once my body had adjusted to him, I started motioning my hips up and down, holding on to his shoulders so that I didn’t lose the limited balance I had left. He once again was looking at me, with his hands on my waist as I kept the path. Close, very close. His arms slid around me and I kissed his lips eagerly. Our moans died in one another’s mouth while the movements became faster, erratic, frenetic. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep my sanity, I was almost raving with pleasure, and the moment our lips broke away to take air and we looked at each other, nose to nose, without stopping for a moment, I couldn’t hold it any longer. I came with a flashing intensity, pronouncing his name countless times, asking God knows who for this moment to last forever. I couldn’t stop screaming, and when Duff begged my name and I felt his liquid warmth filling every bit of me, I saw white.
_______________
His hand stroked tenderly my naked back while my breath came back to normal against his neck. The same as that day, but at the same time entirely different. I was still on top of him, he was still inside of me. I hadn’t yet gathered the strength to pull him apart from me, but he didn’t seem willing to get separated either, so we stood like that for a while, I don’t even know how much, but I don’t care. This felt utterly intimate, intense, extremely ours and totally apart from the rest of people, from the rest of things. It was a parallel universe inside of a crystal ball. It was the embodiment of all that was right. What we had been, without knowing or admitting it, even to ourselves, waiting for all this time.
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
Its time
↳Peter Parker x f!reader
↳ Pregnant au/ married life au with Peter Parker where Peter and reader prepare for the arrival of a new member.
↳Warning: avengers being cute af, fluffy goodness, married couple stuff, Peter being suggestive (slightly)
↳A/n: dude you have no clue how long I have been wanting to post this for. I kept procrastinating on writing it even thought I loved the idea.
*edited from the original version*
————————————
“Y/n!” Peter screamed at the top of his lungs “can you get the screws as well?” he asked his 9 month pregnant wife.
Peter was in the middle of setting a baby crib that he had ordered online when you were 3 months pregnant, but due to really bad shipping arrangements the crib had only come two days go.
Which is why both you and your husband(mostly your husband, because he wasn't letting you do anything) were trying to build the crib as fast as you could because you never know when the baby would pop right out of you, since you were now very close to your due date.
“Coming, coming” you waddled your way to Peter. You gave him the desired object and held your very round belly. “Do you see that sweety, do you see what daddy is making for you? this is going to be your new bed!” you looked at Peter and newly made crib.
You had started to pick up the habit of talking to your baby in the middle of your pregnancy due to the fact that you were bored of staying home alone the entire day, you spoke to your baby, telling him stories about how you and Peter met and how excited is everyone to meet the little one.
Peter looked at you in awe as you rubbed your belly and smiled at your bump. He got on his knees and looked your big belly. He rubbed small circles and whispered soft things only for your infant to hear. Father-son bonding time as he liked to call.
When ever Peter had time, whether it was after long hours of work at the bureau or going on business trips with Tony , your husband would always find a way to talk to your baby.
Peter got up from his position to cup your face in his soft hands. “I love you” he said as he kissed your temple softly.
“I love you, too”
—————————————————————
You opened an eye looking at the glowing red light next to your bed, 3 am. You let out a small groan, angry, it was 3 am and you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried because everytime your eyes closed you would see that beautiful chocolate cake you saw at the grocery store the day before when you went for a late night grocery run with Peter.
“i knew i should've bought it” you thought resting your hand on your belly and felt kicks. “are you thinking about it too?” smiling you looked over to your sleeping husband. Mouth wide open, a bit of drool threatening to fall on the baby blue pillowcase he was sleeping on. What a cutie.
You leaned over to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
You slowly removed the covers of your body and tried get off the bed without making any sounds to make up the sleeping beauty next to you.
“ouch, that hurt!” You whined softly, as you rubbed the area you got kicked “whats wrong?” you pouted.
“Food?” you questioned in a amused tone, and got a kick as a response. With that you walked out of your shared bedroom and made your way to the kitchen.
“What should we eat?” You bent down a little to look at the items inside your refrigerator.
“Broccoli? Nah who we kidding we ain’t healthy, pasta? Hmm maybe in the morning,” both hungry and frustrated from no sleep you shut the fridge a bit to hard. You winced at the noise of magnets falling on the floor and prayed that Peter hadn’t woken up.
“We literally don’t have anything to eat!” you kicked the magnets out of the kitchen making a mental note to tell him in the morning to pick it up. You let a annoyed sigh, when you remembered Peter buying some snacks.
“Ah ha!” You exclaimed looking at the pack of chocolate chips in your pantry. “ I knew I had this somewhere” you grined.
You looked at your belly which was covered in one of Peter’s extra large graphics t-shirts, and said “ let’s get baking kiddo.”
“Ahh smells so good!!!” You exclaimed as you mixed the dough with the chocolate chips “if only I can taste it” you said with a slight pout, as you brought the spoon next to your mouth.
“Don’t you even think about it” said Peter making you jump in fright.
“OMG BABE! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? SCARE THE BABY OUT OF ME?” You screamed as you placed your hand on your rapidly beating heart.
Peter, no longer leaning on the doorway of your kitchen made his way to you. His arms holding you in a soft embrace, as he muttered soft words to calm your poor heart. He kissed your forehead and apologized profusely.
“Y/n what are you even doing here? At this time? It’s almost 3:30?”
“I... well you see Junior over here got hungry and decided that it would be fun playing soccer in my tummy till he gets my attention which he did. So I came into the kitchen to see what is there to eat, but didn’t find anything that I wanted then I remembered that we have chocolate chips left so”
“So you wanted to bake cookies” said Peter with a beautiful grin.
“Oh you know me so well, Mr. Husband” you cooed as you pecked his lips.
He smiled at the gesture and shook his head at your cute antics.
“Well then, since you’re going to be baking cookies I might as well help you. Now go on sit down, and let me do the rest.”
With that he sent you out of the kitchen and put the cookies in the oven and cleaned the kitchen as you eagerly waited for them to be done.
You walked back into the kitchen to see if your treats were ready to eat instead you were faced with your husbands back who was in the process of cleaning the dishes.
“wait what are you doing here” you poked Peter’s arm. “i woke up when you kissed me” he shrug as he continued to do the dishes. “you know babe i really thought i was gonna get something more than just a kiss on the forehead since....well you know.... you were up during fuckboy hours but i guess not” he pouted and then winked “and since we are up now” he sang wiggling his eyebrows, you hit his arms laughing.
“Peter” you gasp “how can you say that and in front of your son ” you faked a shocked expression as Peter jokingly started to strip out of his pjs.
‘wow a dinner and a show im so lucky’ you thought as you took a bite of a cookie.
—————————————————————
“ OMG BABE!!!!” Peter’s screams rang through the house.
“What what is? What happened? Who died” you came in as fast as you could while you held onto your belly.
“Honey walk slowly you might get hurt” Peter extended his arm for you to take and gently put you down on you shared bed.
“Nothing like that happened but I just realized that you due date is in a week!!!” He exclaimed. “ IN A WEEK!”
“Can you imagine it? A mini me will be waking around this very spot in a week, Y/n can you imagine!!!” He spoke, his eyes shining with each word.
You smiled “ well he won’t be walking yet but YES IM SO EXCITED! Oh that reminds me, I kind of bought some more baby clothes the other day with Nat. Only because they were so cute!” You gushed. “You should’ve been there Peter that store is magical” he laughed at your child like behavior and went to get the bag of clothes from the closet.
“Did you find it?” You asked, getting ready to get them yourself.
“I got it. I got it” he said as he brought a baby blue bag along with a big brown book.
“also look at what I found” he waved your photo album in the air and sat next to you.
“Awe look it’s little Peter with his little willy,” You pointed at your husband’s baby picture.
Peter’s faced became red, he cleared his throat and turned the page to avoid any more of your comments, “well its not so small now is it” he let out of a soft ouch and rubbed his arm because you hit his arm for saying such things near his soon-to-be-born baby
As you looked through the album of memories, you started to feel intense pain in your lower abdomen.
Little driblets of sweat started to from on your forehead and you breathing started to be come more heavy.
Peter noticed the change in your behavior and placed a hand on the small of back to calm you down. You smiled at him weakly, and grabbed his thigh when the pain became unbearable.
“P-peter” you quietly let out, “I-I think it’s time” you said looking in between your legs and saw the small water soaking your pants.
Your water broke.
Peter’s calm expression morphed into a panicked one as he hurriedly took the hospital bag and walked you to the car.
—————————————————————
The dull colors of the Hospital was making Peter feel more nervous than he actually felt. The thought of something happening to you or the baby in the process of the delivery kept running circles in his mind due to the stress and anxiety he was feeling at that moment. He knew he should not be worrying both you and the baby were in perfect condition, but he was not able to get those nasty thoughts out of his mind.
Peter felt someone’s hand be placed on his shoulder he quickly looked up and saw Tony’s warm brown eyes. Tony gave him a reassuring smile and open his arms to initiate a hug. Peter overwhelmed with emotion cried in Tony’s affectionate embrace.
“I’m going to be father” he sobs “I’m going to be Father”. Tony pulled away and looked at Peter in the eye. He cupped his face and whipped the tears away.
“I know you are. You’re going to be a great one at that.” Tony smiled at the boy whom he saw grow into the fine young man he is today.
“IM GOING TO BE A UNCLE YALL!!!!” a loud voice rang through the hall. Peter laughed at the familiar voice. He saw his friend Wade wave at him dressed up as a baby sitting in a baby stroller, he waved at the two men while being pushed by Sam and Bucky.
“He’s so gonna get killed by them by the end of the day” whispered Tony.
“definitely” Peter said laughing.
Peter left his father figure when the nurse came to tell him that the contraction has begun.
—————————————————————
You were sitting on the bed with your baby in your embrace, Peter walked up to you and kissed your chapped lips. He leaned forwards and whispered to you how well you did during this hard process.
“I should go call them,” he kissed the baby and went out.
Peter walked out of the delivery room with a huge smile that light the entire room “you can come see him now” he said and walked back inside to sit beside you on the bed.
Everyone made their way to the room, walking slowly trying not to wake your newborn.
“he is so precious,” cooed Natasha as she softly grazed his skin with her finger. “Can I hold him?” she asked. You nodded and let your best friend hold your baby boy.
“what’s his name” asked Tony as he walked up to the red headed who was caressing the infant.
“Harry Benjamin Parker” Peter said smiling, “Y/n chose it, but next time i will be the one choosing the name for our child” Peter said and you nodded.
“ Next time?” Thor said laughing. “You already planed on the next time Peter?” Thor teased Peter after seeing his face go red.
“Hey, Hey blondie, stop teasing my son, and auntie Nat can I please hold my grandchild?” Tony said showing his pearly whites in order to get Harry.
“Why should you get to hold Harry next!” said Steve. “I am the oldest!”
“No, I should hold harry next,” quipped Thor “It’s always an honor to be held by a god,”
“A god? oh please, let me hold My God Son harry, since I am his god father! I am his Sirius Black,” said Wade.
“Wade we never made you the god father,” Peter quietly let out as he took Harry back from Natasha’s hand in fear that something might happen while everyone is fighting to hold his son.
One of the nurses walked in to your room worried because of the arguing she heard from outside. She would've never thought that one day she would see the worlds mightiest heroes fighting to hold a baby, but here she was.
Furious because this is most certainly not how one acts in a hospital she kicked them out of the room, and lectured them about how to behave in a hospital.
—————————
#peter parker dad au#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker imagines#peter parker#peter parker au#spiderman imagine#tom holland#marvel#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagines#avengers imagine#avengers x reader#peter parker married au#tom holland dad au#peter parker smut#peter parker fluff#spiderman fluff#tom holland smut#tom holland fluff
580 notes
·
View notes
Photo
i want those who get to know me to become admirers or my enemy
art talk under the cut
i think i honestly got possessed while painting this? because i started in the late evening (i don’t even remember when) and didn’t take a break till i finished sometime around 12am, i was just laser focused on finishing it. anyway!
the subject here is one mister adam ant, who is probably the most enjoyable man alive to draw but also incredibly difficult to draw right. i still didn’t quite get it right here, i think. the posing/headshot was loosely based off the cover of his first solo album, friend or foe, but it’s not a very clear image, so i used a lot of different photos as reference here, one of which being the cover of manners and physique, his fourth album, and most others being promotional photos taken around 1980-1982. drawing this has made me realize - his face has honestly changed very little through the years. you can definitely see where it’s matured, sure, but he hardly even ages.
originally, the painting was very very yellow toned -- i’ve been seeking a way to get an “aged” look to my art for a while, and picked it up even more for a certain project, and one of the techniques i’m trying to master is using a very greenish-yellow and desaturated palette to mimic the look of aged varnish. but, it didn’t quite work that way in the original. it wasn’t the most awful looking painting i’ve ever produced, but it just instead looked like i’d painted him with awfully yellowed skin, and considering certain ethnic stereotypes that might apply, i decided i couldn’t go with that result. i didn’t repaint the whole thing, i just adjusted the tones, but it did take a minute to figure out how to do that without turning his eyes an odd shade. i think the more pink tones of this version suits the background better, anyway. i am still intending to do a separate version playing with only red and blue as colors, but that’s later.
his hair was a new technique. usually, i sketch hair just the same as a face (as in, with a pencil brush), and draw it in “chunks”, but i decided on a whim to try a technique i usually see done for grass and trees. i blocked in a base color for his hair in a very general shape, and loosely shaded the shape to give a bit more depth and show shape. then, i started drawing in strands, starting from his hairline at the front with the darkest color. once i felt i had defined enough strands, i went a shade lighter. i did that about three times, then added a screen blending layer over all the other layers to add a general highlight where light was hitting. it turned out really really well, actually, when i wasn’t even expecting it to work - the only thing i think i would change is maybe define more strands a little closer to the viewer. could i have described this process better? probably, but i think my brain is still melted from actually painting it.
and the last question i can hear most people asking after getting this far is “but why does it look like he’s not wearing clothes here? isn’t that weird?” and the answer is yes. it is weird. but fabric can be very hard to draw, and by the time i realized i had forgotten to sketch clothes in, it was almost done and my eyes were starting to close by themselves. so just pretend this is from the cover of strip, everyone. thanks.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
HOWLS Digest - Hitorie Skream! Interview
Interview by Hata Riee! Translated by Manju!
With evolution upon them, Hitorie show their fangs with confidence.
Summary: HOWLS
[First section: ygarshy fanboys over HOWLS. Discussions about the impressions and mindsets which went into the album. “Many of the songs on HOWLS are the result of my battles with painful, excruciating, frustrated feelings.” “Though in reality it was the most fun I've ever had, in regards to the music. We tried out things, we challenged new things... These bandmates right here, their ideas and curiosity were like saviors to me.”]
[Second section: ygarshy fanboys over Ao and how liberating for his heart it is. Ao’s “We got shit-faced” backstory. Disclosure that Sappukei, Garandou Mae Zero Machi, Coyote and Ghost all were the result of unrestrained integrated jam sessions. Diligence in musically thrashing, all hail guitar cuddling! Members are glad that leader is getting nice and lax.]
[Third section: The reasons those jams were able to cause such a bang. What values they had to throw away and which they had to adopt, such as simple melodies or not. Synopsis on the journeys they took to hone their new conjurations, to solve their frustrations and stagnations they felt with the band. wowaka being stupid and selfish by not sharing his problems per usual. STUPID. Band confesses to being socially awkward but still trying to understand each other subliminally.... Plus Idol Junkfeed lore/jokes, also SLEEPWALK].
[Fourth section: Overall the writer equates HOWLS lyrics to a discussion, with simple human language that is easy to convey. The power of words is more than just as a tool for expression, but music can help unlock those shackles of perception so don’t worry leader.... Balance, desires, future pavement laid - The “I think we’re so revved up that we could even explode right in this moment!” quote. It, it matches up with their new year’s resolution which was about living in the moment!]
Your new album blew my mind. Each song alone even has the power to strike into the minds of old and new listeners alike.
wowaka: Happy to hear it.
Shinoda: It feels like we’ve created something really amazing.
wowaka: Even after many years of finishing countless pieces and thinking “This is good I did good.”... This time I’m especially smiley and giddy about this piece.
Yumao: We covered a way more broad scope of genre.
ygarshy: It feels like the people’s album.
wowaka: The people’s (laughing)?!
ygarshy: Up until now, as an honest listener I couldn't consider our pieces an object of interest, but this time I could listen forever and ever I like it so much.
In our 2016 interview for the release of IKI, ygarshy you had also exclaimed “I’ve been listening to it forever”.
Everyone: Ahahaha!
wowaka: Effort makes confidence.
ygarshy: Though the undertones are different. With IKI I had the perspective of a musician looking back upon their work with pride, but this time I’m uninterested in that sense. I’m akin to an uninvolved consumer, honestly enjoying my favorite album.
Shinoda: We ourselves barely understand this phenomenon.
Then let’s use this interview as a chance to divulge the mystery.
Shinoda: Let’s do it.
In between your most recent full album IKI, there was the release of the mini album ai/SOlate (2017) and the single Polaris (2018), but when did you first start considering the possibilities of an album?
wowaka: We had been on tour for ai/SOlate, The UNKNOWN-TOUR 2018 “Loveless", spanning over about four months... so it was directly after that. Our single Polaris was used as an ending theme for the anime Boruto (NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS), which helped ease us into our next full album.
So you had been working on this album during the later months of last year.
wowaka: Yes. Between about July and October.
Yumao: Though SLEEPWALK was an older song.
wowaka: Ah, that’s true.
Yumao: Windmill or Sappuukei even also, we had about one chorus in tow of each even before we began the hard-core production of HOWLS.
With IKI, wowaka said he went into a “I can’t stop writing songs” beast mode, but how did the pace pan out this time?
wowaka: I struggled a lot. Writing the songs of IKI had been prompting revelations within me, for the first time I was finding the meaning behind being human and the fact that I’m alive. It was like the first time I properly stood on two legs. Positive vibes were popping songs out of me. But in contrast, many of the songs on HOWLS are the result of my battles with painful, excruciating, frustrated feelings.
I do see the subject of solitude shows up frequently.
wowaka: Yes. Though in reality it was the most fun I've ever had, in regards to the music. We tried out things, we challenged new things... These bandmates right here, their ideas and curiosity were like saviors to me.
Were you able to pinpoint the album’s direction during the prototype stages?
wowaka: “What am I to do with these feelings?” was my only sense of direction (laughing).
Yumao: Though as we proceeded further and further, we did realize “We can add a bunch of different types of songs into this next one”.
ygarshy: The demo for Ao was made fairly early in the scheme of HOWLS production, and it was so good I wanted to cry. You can interpret it as a so-called breakup song, but it’s the first time we’ve ever done such. So no matter the circumstances, I want to show this song to the world, I want to show our band’s becomings to the world. That was my impression. It was then when I let go of any ego I had as a musician. And I'm now able to see the full picture, to figure out what elements may match up with what song… Which not only brought the album into broader territories, but also freed me from so many restrictions.
So Ao has had those lyrics ever since the demo version.
wowaka: Well it’s my first heartbreak song ever.
ygarshy: It’s such a good song that, I had contemplated long and hard as to how best turn these emotions into something universally understandable.
wowaka: My extremely personal experiences and universal concepts alike, they're both contacting by a hair’s breadth. As a result of me always spilling out my personal experiences in goops, I somehow truly am hoping that the band, our audience, and others alike will be able to take a plunge into the core of the person and the world within.
Was Ao a pivotal piece for any one else in the band also?
wowaka: I’m pretty positive that when I was recording my guitar, Ao was the most emotional. I felt "Ahh, this is what I’ve always wanted to do”. This is probably the extremity I’ve always been aiming for. The singing and the melody are in the dead center. Yet, at the antipode is…. something else also. Effort went into incorporating an almost elaborate aesthetic. If I could only say one thing about this song, I want to tell you about how the recording all began with us saying something like “What if we turned the volume up really crazy loud?”. I have an amp which normally never sees any action it’s so gargantuan, but I turned the knobs up all the way from the get-go.
Shinoda: We got shit-faced.
It’s a ballad and yet you chose to start with the instruments loud, that idea is interesting.
wowaka: Because it's a ballad, that's exactly the reason why I wanted to have the intensity to equate it. Then through the process of trial and error, were we able to create a sound unlike ever before. I feel like we stumbled into a strange trance almost.
Shinoda: Up until now, I’ve always been the one who yearned to do the extreme. He (wowaka) has always been the one who acted as my safety net, but this time, his screws came loose too.
wowaka: No matter as to how elaborately we made it, no matter as to how we may have thrashed open our gates, the message still managed to hold “We are who we are.”
ygarshy: For me, I felt that as long as we have this song, everything we turn out okay. I was no longer questioning myself over trying to be this or that. During recording I pondered the question “What is my own ultimate talent, that only I have as a bassist?” and, the answer is that my bandmates and their skill. It makes no difference what I do: the bandmates around me are skilled so everything will turn out fine. That's why I'm no longer putting much time and worry into my bass playing. The song Sappuukei uses my first take, simply as was. And with Windmill I decided not to practice at all.
wowaka: Is that so (laughing).
ygarshy: I realized it works out well if I don’t think much and just return fire back directly at the moment. I think that’s all thanks to the existence of the song Ao.
I see. The mood which develops over the span of this album, it may be just as ygarshy says, it may be because you as Hitorie you discovered new methods and means.
Shinoda: Well basically, we had pitted ideas against each other and cherry-picked from there. Like the guitar in the background of Coyote and Ghost’s chorus is something which would’ve definitely never ever been OK-ed before. I was permitted to have a go at throwing myself into spontaneousness.
Yumao: Hence, we’ve gained a lot more freedom bit by bit.
So I’m guessing you set your guitars loud for Coyote and Ghost also (laughing).
Shinoda: Yeah yeah (laughing).
Yumao: It didn’t even have a prototype either, we just huddled together to say “Ready… Go!” and played from there. I’m positive that Sappuukei and Garandou Mae Zero Machi both took the same route also. I remember discussing “We need some fast songs huh”.. So that was when Shinoda went and cuddled up with his guitar at home.
Shinoda: Though working from home comes with too many problems. After I come up with one phrase, the temperature of it won't match with the one before it, then I’ll jump into my own advancement, and before I know it it'll turn into an unsalvageable mess. The phrase I play behind the choruses all the time are already unique melodies in themselves after all. I’m amazed Leader is able to make vocals to fit on top of them.
wowaka: Cause it’s not vocals behind the guitar, it’s the guitar that goes behind the vocals.
Everyone: Ahahahaha!
Shinoda: With this song especially, I didn’t know what the vocals were until the designated vocal day. So when I saw the lyrics, the mass of words on the page was astounding. “Is this guy serious!?” I thought.
Yumao claiming an 8-beat time on this sort of aggressive song was yet another surprise for me.
Yumao: If it were 3 or 4 years ago, I’m sure I would’ve played in the typical rock song 4/4 time. That idea also occurred to me but, my core values seemed to have changed.
Though you said you were ailed by how playing simple beats for the sake of the vocals unsettles your reputation as a drummer? During our interview for Polaris.
Yumao: That was true. But with this album I think I was able to find an answer or something.
ygarshy: As we were writing, we often had moments where we’d agree that a simple phrase is best. Even if we have to tear away ourselves and our ideas, if it’s to conjure the melody conspicuous, in the end it still becomes one of Hitorie’s songs.
I’m starting to perceive how this album was able to evolve into such a masterpiece. It’s evident that each of your priorities and wants for the band have changed over the last 2-3 years.
wowaka: I just remembered now but, after our designated ai/SOlate tour, after trekking over oceans and roads, we had found a concrete resolution in regards to our progress as a band. Which ironically made us feel frustration over ourselves as music creators. The songs we make made us think “Ah, we’re kinda always trying to do the same thing huh...” We felt we had to change that, or else we’re headed down a slippy slope.
Ahh, I see how it is.
wowaka: Then something struck me like lightning, so I took a sudden solo trip all the way to India. “What will happen to my mind if I throw myself into a place completely unknown to me, where even my language is rendered ineffective?” I thought... So specifically what did happen to that mind, you ask? Well, nothing really actually. They say that your perspective on the world will change right. Nothing that powerful came to me. Yet that's very reason I realized “Ahh, I’m simply the human called me.” That sentiment is seeping into the album this time I think. The album is somewhat nomadic, it feels a bit pessimistic, it’s dry and arid… and overall just so fuzzy.
Back then, did you discuss that stale stagnated feeling with any of the other members?
wowaka: I didn’t. It was my own selfish inner implosion, like gaaah. So after the tour it was almost as if I went into shock therapy: going to India, going out drinking with people I don’t usually hang with, etc. Thinking back, I may have been in a bit of a daring phase.
Could that solve Shinoda’s initial puzzle of "We ourselves barely understand this phenomenon”? You each subconsciously clicked with a need to revitalize the band, and your hunt for more funk became your spunk.
wowaka: It’s true that after spending 5 whole years taking various shots together, our collective conscience was “What are we gonna do next?”
Shinoda: It’s not as if we sat down and discussed it though, we each felt it in our soul.
wowaka: We all suck at sitting down and talking to each other though. So even choosing a theme and sticking to it itself is impossible for us, instead we’ve taken to each doing whatever we like, and that’s the kind of band we are.
Yumao: The bits and pieces we notice about each other, and the bits we don't, are half-and-half both in this album… That's why song-wise, there’s opening up and shutting up, both merging together as one. When we were writing we ourselves even saw where it was headed. And so the hope that “Maybe listeners will change their view on Hitorie after they hear this.” was hammered in.
—Onward. Shinoda participated in the production for Idol Junkfeed right?
Shinoda: When production was in a slump, I chimed in “I’ll make a song”. I was told “Just make it a high-spirited one” and so I went.
Yumao: It has a Shinoda taste to it, but it also sounds as if it's parodying Hitorie.
wowaka: It’s like a song written by a Hitorie fan (laughing).
Everyone: Ahahahaha!
wowaka: I don’t know if I said that right but….
Shinoda: Naw, you’re right. 'Cause I did lean towards that. I definitely did want to make it a Hitorie-sounding song.
Yumao: These two handling the director job together was a refreshing sight to behold. The leadership was half-and-half but, the brains were slightly more on Shinoda’s side with it. Him going “This is good, but this is good too, I can’t choose what to do!” was hilarious.
Shinoda: I did something I’m not used to after all (laughing). Yet, in the end it still became Hitorie.
wowaka: If we put our strengths together, then it becomes our's. That fact was proven yet again by this song. Even if I’m not in the middle pulling the strings, this song gave me the confidence that “Ahh this band is capable of so so much”.
SLEEPWALK has a similar vibe to current trendy foreign pop music, that sound is by virtue of ai/SOlate isn’t it.
wowaka: It’s a direct descendant of ai/SOlate. It’s a song that exposes how much of a music fiend and too avid of a listener I am. Before we started album productions I had trained by making about a singular chorus. At that time I would never believe I would be showing that chorus to the band, rather off completing it as a one-off. In the sea of all the various styles in this album, I came to realize “If I write a whole song solo then it will truly seal the deal, that this has become Hitorie”. In the end I really did write it all by myself.
Yumao: I had nothing to do with it.
Shinoda: I didn’t do anything officer.
As his bandmates, did you want to do it as a band?
ygarshy: It was more along the lines of “We want to hear how it would sound, so please do it”. We typically play our instruments strictly based on wowaka’s demos, but no matter how much effort we put into being loyal to his original, there's parts which will alter. That's why we wanted him to make it exactly as he saw fit.
wowaka: Even if I produce it alone, there's also the saving grace in playing it together during concerts.
So you're planning on performing this song together in upcoming concerts?
wowaka: I sense that we must.
Was there anything you kept in mind as you wrote the lyrics for the album?
wowaka: I feel it’s all a discussion. I've mentioned this in many interviews before but, confining words only to mean only their meaning - there's a me who holds utter abhorrence for the basic functionality of words. I feel like this world is wrong, handling words as nothing but tools and merely getting controlled by them. They don't really believe in the power of words. I'm still staunch on that idea but... Even so I know I have to face the reality of being understood by people. By the audience, staff, friends, lovers, parents, family alike. I had also talked about this in our past Polaris interview didn’t I, about how at the concert in Fukuoka I received a revelation from the heavens almost.
Ah, you said there was a moment when you figured out “This is exactly what I want to tell people!”
wowaka: Retrospectively that was huge for me. That’s why I aimed to tell people things this time, I poured special consideration into how to share word through song.
The lyrics of the final track Windmill, “I’m here where I belong/We are here where we belong”: it seems cohesive that you want to tell people this, now that it’s the 5 year anniversary of Hitorie’s debut.
wowaka: Yep. After all these years I have new stories to tell, and now that I’ve figured out how to write lyrics like those, I want a lot of people to see them, I want people who have never heard us to hear them. That’s how I’ve come to see it.
I see. After finishing this album, has it laid down the pavement for Hitorie’s future in any way?
wowaka: This year will mark seven years since we originally banded up, and after spending this much time together.. at this point our moments are human, our perceptions are human, our emotions are human. Hence we have no clue what lies ahead. That's why each member will surely figure out how best to push the band, and they'll show me the way forward. I think we’re so revved up that we could even explode right in this moment.
ygarshy: Leader (wowaka) has learned how to say “It’s actually the best when you’re each going all-out on your own accords”. There were still times when he wanted us to play parallel to his image, but ultimately the times when we're playing freely, do turn out to be the best, he says. That’s ridiculously rivetingly huge. So we took that exact method with Coyote and Ghost and it turned out so good. If we continue just like this, I think the balance of our band will change exponentially. SLEEPWALK, the songs we are bursting out in, and Shinoda’s song alike, they all became one of Hitorie’s songs.
So It gives me so much confidence to hear you say “It might just reach new listeners”.
~~END~~
youtube
Bonus video at the bottom!
To all viewers of Skream, we’re Hitorie! I’m the vocal/guitarist wowaka.
- I’m the guitarist Shinoda.
- The bassist ygarshy.
- The drummer Yumao.
wowaka: Us, Hitorie, in this 2019th… century…?
Shinoda: Yes.
wowaka: Are, this February,
Shinoda: That’s it.
wowaka: on the 27th,
Shinoda: That’s right.
wowaka: We're releasing our new album HOWLS!
Shinoda: So give it a listen.
(All members clap)
wowaka: With 10 songs, that are all itchy…. Irritated.. Hairy? Fuzzy?
Shinoda: Fuzzy.
wowaka: Hmm, that’s still not right.. It’s more… animalish? Outlawish? ...Anyway, it’s fast-paced with sadness looming over, yet despite that, there’s still a bit of love and-.
Shinoda: (Snickers).
wowaka: My explanation is starting to make less and less sense (laughing). It’s thick, it’s good, we have confidence in how this album turned out. So we’d be happy if you could acquire it and give it a listen, please.
All members: Please (bow).
wowaka: Furthermore, starting on March 1st at Osaka’s Big Cat, and heading on and on to the final destination on June 1st at Shinkiba’s Studio COAST, we’ll be touring the country on Hitorie’s "Coyote Howling” tour. It’s our first tour in a damn while. So dear the people who will follow us anywhere- Or the people who may hate us-
Shinoda: People who hate us?
wowaka: There’s the chance they’ll come too right?
Yumao: I think so.
wowaka: For example when someone drags a friend along, who may not have much interest,
Yumao: They think “It might be fun” and just tag along,
wowaka: Yeah yeah, you might be able to have an experience like that! So by all means, come and play with us. Bye-bye~
#The tiny video at the bottom says volumes about their dynamics so I recommend#This isn’t emo I’m not getting emo. I’m not reading this right now I am on autodrive#automata mode i am numb yeah#DONT WAKE ME UP RIE'S RIVERTING GUITAR RIFFS#NOOOOO#Anyway... Thank you very very much for reading...#long post
9 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
anthonyfofanthony
we sing when we cannot speak any longer
itoldstory
insideout
self-destruct-gene
e.x.i.t
wegottagetoutofthistowntonight
London calls me a stranger (sort of)
uyghurflag-uyghurmap-blog
ئۇيغۇر بايرىقى تەڭرىتاغ دۆلىتى uyghur