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taytrashmouth · 8 months

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Just finished rewatching game of thrones and the Jon snow obsession has been reborn.

This is a long one!

TW: rape, abuse, crying, murder, etc, all normal GOT stuff.

Jon snow x reader.

:readmore:

Looking at the empty walls of the stone cell I’ve been trapped in for weeks I can’t help but feel that these walls of winterfell that I’ve known for so long are no longer the walls I call home. This is a prison.

I pushed myself back against the furthest wall as I heard the keys rattle in the door. The chain around my waist felt heavier than normal.

As the door opened I felt a tear escape my eye…Ramsey

“You’re not excited to see me?” He pouted and wiped my cheek.

I tried to hide my fear and pain and sadness but I knew he could see through my act.

“I’m going to meet with lady Bolton tomorrow.” He sat down in front of me.

I thought about Sansa….I thought about when we were little, how we would sneak into the kitchens after everyone was asleep, how we’d laugh and talk, how we would dance in the snow outside and go for long walks in the snowy hills. She was bigger now, more mature. The last time I saw her was at the wedding…she got locked in Ramseys room and I got locked in a cell. I heard people talk of her escape through the small widow towards the top of my cell, I’d never been that relieved in my life.

Sansa never treated me as her handmaiden, only ever as her friend.

“Her bastard brother will be there too…” Ramsey spoke.

I couldn’t help my reaction, I let out a gasp and tears fell from my eyes.

Jon was alive.

“I want you to come with me to meet with them tomorrow…”

I looked up at him and frowned, there was a catch, Ramsey was insane, he liked to play games.

“You see… I know that Jon cares for you…and lovers should always be reunited at the end of every story.” Ramsey smiled as he touched my cheek, I tried to move away but he held me still.

“But I’m afraid this story doesn’t have a happy ending…” he pouted. “Jon will have to see what I’ve done with you.” Now he smiled.

He began to untie my dress, I tried to move away but he held me down and the chains were too heavy. After not being fed for a week I could barely have the strength to push him off.

He grabbed my hands and held them high above my head as he sucked hickeys into my neck, and put bite marks all over my skin.

Eventually I stopped screaming, I just accepted him inside of me, I cried and looked away, knowing there was nothing I could do. I thought of everything that wasn’t Ramsey. Then eventually I didn’t think of anything at all, I didn’t even feel as though I was in the room anymore. I was somewhere deep inside my own mind, somewhere I couldn’t even place.

I felt Ramsey hit me and become rough but I just lay there in the cold cell…hopeless.

When he was done he had his guards unlock the chains around my waist and wrists, and lead me to a room in the castle….Aryas old room.

They locked me in there for the rest of the night I had a bath and scrubbed my skin till it was raw and red trying to get Ramsey off of me…

I put on the dress that was laid out on the bed, it showed off my shoulders and my sides, exposing the bruises and scrapes all over my body. I brushed my hair that had grown a lot since I last saw myself. I tied it back into a braid exposing my face and neck like Ramsay instructed

I looked at my thin figure, I could see my own ribs. I looked awful. I drank the soup that was left on top of the dresser.

And I waited…to see Jon again, to see Sansa.

I walked out of the dining hall to see Jon hitting a training dummy repeatedly with his sword.

“I think it’s dead.” I smiled as he turned around.

He smiled softly, something he didn’t do often. “What am I missing?” He asked gesturing back into the hall

“Ned’s angry because Arya flicked food at Sansa.” I spoke. He laughed under his breath. “So nothing new?” He smirked.

I shook my head.

It was quiet for a moment, the music from inside distant. The air was cold.

I had liked Jon since I was about 10, he often caught Sansa and I in the kitchens late at night and instead of telling Ned, like Robb sometimes did, he would join us.

But I’d never say anything, I couldn’t…technically he was a stark, and technically I was a prisoner, a Greyjoy. Although the starks had never made me feel like a prisoner.

“Why so frustrated?” I asked him.

He looked down at his sword and the blisters he’d caused on his hand.

“A lot on my mind, my lady.” He replied.

“I am no lady….just a handmaiden, My lord.” I spoke back, knowing he only ever wanted me to call him Jon.

He smiled to himself. “Just Jon.”

“Okay….just Jon, may I have this dance.” I asked as the band began to play another song that could be heard vaguely through the closed doors to the dining hall.

“Anything for you, princess.” He spoke slowly and made his way over to you. Putting his sword against the stone walls of winterfell.

“I am no-“ you were interrupted when his finger pressed to your lips. “You are to me.” He whispered.

He valued me, always. He never treated me like less, in fact he always treated me like more, like royalty, like a princess.

I smiled up at him. He placed his hands on my waist and i put mine on his shoulders.

“I must warn you, just Jon I’m not a good dancer.” I spoke.

“I know, I’ve watched you dance with sir Cedric Mormont a few years back, and sir Jamie earlier tonight.”

I playfully smacked his arm and he smiled.

“I’ll tell you what princess y/n Greyjoy…I’m not that good either.” He smiled.

We swayed and laughed when Jon jokingly spun me around, or when I tried to lead. We ran around the castle walls for about 3 hours before lady Katlin caught us.

We both froze when she saw us.

“Sansa was looking for you y/n.” She spoke firmly. Glaring at Jon.

“My lady- I-“ you stumbled.

“It was me! I wanted to try on Robb’s armor, see what it was like, to be a knight. I had lady Greyjoy assist me putting it on-“ Jon interrupted. He never lied, but he was protecting me.

I glanced worriedly at him.

“Typical.” She whispered under her breath, and shook her head. My blood boiled. “Y/n get to Sansa’s chambers immediately, Jon… out of my sight.” She spoke loudly.

I quickly walked off to Sansa’s bed chamber, thinking about Jon the whole way there.

“Where we’re you?” Sansa spoke.

“I’m sorry, I-I was with Jon.” I blushed.

She squealed. “Tell me everything.” She spoke, handing me her hairbrush as she sat down at the dresser.

It was like having a permanent best friend, I was only two years older than Sansa.

I carefully undid the intricate braids in her hair and brushed her copper locks.

“We danced…sort of.” I smiled.

“Was he any good?” She frowned.

“No.” We both laughed.

We giggled and spoke until she had to go to bed. Laughing about Jon and how she was to marry prince Joffrey.

You walked along the empty passages towards the servants quarters. Through the snow covered courtyard.

I was pulled from the happy memory when the lock to the chamber rattled and Ramsey and two of his guards entered.

I dropped the soup onto the floor, my hands must have been shaking.

“Oh clumsy are we? You’ll need a new dress I suppose.” Ramsey pouted.

Tears filled my eyes.

“Luckily I have the perfect one for you.” He smirked and held out some purple material…open back.

He wanted Jon to see my pain, to see that I belonged to him. I shook my head and tears fell from my eyes.

His guards grabbed my wrists and shoved me onto the bed, i sobbed when they began to tie my hands to the headboard. They ripped away the gown I was wearing and I could no longer see Ramsey, and that scared me more than anything.

“This will hurt darling.” I could hear the smile in his voice. And I screamed and sobbed as a hard whip hit my back, digging into my spine, I felt blood pour down my back.

It hurt again and again, 20 times he hit me, 20 times I screamed and 20 times I did not prey for help, I wished for death.

He left me tied there, facing the wall, bleeding.

I cried for a long time until I fell asleep from exhaustion. Naked and beaten.

The morning was a rush, Bran had fallen from the tallest tower and hadn’t woken up. Lady Katlin was devastated and Ned had informed Sansa and I we were leaving for kings landing tomorrow. He had been offered the position of hand of the king.

He also informed me that Jon was to become a man of the nights watch.

I walked as fast as I could to his room, my dress blowing behind me in the wind. I tried desperately not to cry.

I shoved his door open and there he was packing his things.

As he turned to me I slapped him, hard.

“Were you not going to tell me!” I yelled, the tears began to fall.

He swallowed hard and looked down, and then at me…my face.

“I didn’t know how-“

“Lies!” I screamed, tears falling like snowflakes.

“I love you! And I didn’t know how to say goodbye to the one thing! The one good thing in my life! The only thing that matters!” He yelled too now.

You cried harder.

“You are the only thing keeping me from going! But I can’t love you, n/n….I can’t! I’m a bastard, and I refuse to force you to burden that name too. You are going to king’s landing tomorrow, you’ll meet a Duke of something there and you’ll grow old in a castle, and have beautiful daughters and strong sons.” Jon was crying too, he held my shoulders.

“No-“ I shook my head. “I don’t want that…. I love you Jon snow. I will never love anyone else. I want to run away with you, I want to carry your children, I want to grow old with you!” I sobbed.

He shook his head, and pressed his forehead to mine.

“I don’t care if you’re a bastard- it’s a stupid title. Like king or queen it’s just a name. But you’re so much more than that you’re brave and kind, loving, you’re funny and smart and-“ he kissed me, gently but passionately.

For a moment everything made sense. All the stars aligned and the puzzle fit together beautifully.

But then I pulled away.

“I love you.” We stated at the same time, we both laughed lightly.

There was a heavy silence after that. I knew I had to go to kings landing, and he knew he had to go to the wall, to make something of himself.

“Promise me.” I spoke slowly as he held my cheeks. “Promise me when I see you again you’ll kiss me, like you just did, promise me that someday we’ll grow old together. Promise me-“ I choked and he kissed my forehead. “Promise that I’ll see you again.”

He nodded. “I promise.” He knelt to the floor and kissed my hand, “ I promise I’ll come back for my princess.” He spoke.

I smiled through the tears as he stood.

“Promise you’ll write to me…every day.” He whispered as we hugged. I nodded.

“Promise you’ll write back.” He chuckled and nodded against my head.

That was goodbye.

I rode with Ramsey on his horse, my back aching and my lips blue. I was freezing in the revealing dress. Bruises, gashes, hickeys, scars and deep wounds covered my body.

We stopped after a long ride. I saw horses approaching in the distance. My heart sunk, I didn’t want Jon to see me like this. What if he had moved on.

I must have looked terrible because Sansa took in a sharp breath before demanding my release. There he was, Jon…my Jon.

I almost smiled when I saw him, almost.

He looked older, a fuller beard and darker eyes, he was taller. He was handsome.

He looked devastated when he saw me. I looked down at the floor, not seeing the tears fill his eyes.

They debated the war that was to come, tomorrow. And Rickons release.

I began to shiver.

“Give her a coat she’ll freeze!” Jon yelled. His voice was husky and sad. I looked at the anger on his face.

Ramsey smiled.

“Jon don’t-“ I tried to explain it was just one of his games but Ramsey hit me, across the cheek.

Jon’s horse jerked forward as he drew his sword but his men held him back.

And then we rode away, at the perfect angle for Jon to see my back.

Ramsey threw me back into my cell, I cried…I didn’t want Jon to fight- I feared Ramsey would win.

I felt my heart sink…I had imagined seeing him again for so many years and it broke me to know that might’ve been the last time.

Last I saw him he was 16, only a boy. I was 15, a young girl who knew nothing of the world outside winterfell.

I knew not of vicious fighters like sir clegane or horrible woman like Cersei. I wouldn’t have imagined such an unfair ruler as Joffrey. Or such an abusive leader as Ramsey.

I wouldn’t have ever imagined seeing Theon like that….like reek. Ramsey told me he’d to the same to me if I disobeyed him. Another Greyjoy to his collection.

I hadn’t looked death in the eye the last time i saw Jon and yet now I had seen so much of it, it all seemed insignificant.

I heard of Jon’s battles, I even heard of his death. Seeing him again was like seeing a ghost. I wasn’t the same girl he left at winterfell but I had the same heart.

“You’re going to take someone’s eye out.” I smiled across the courtyard as I saw Jon and Robb attempting to sword fight in the snow, they kept slipping on the ice.

“That’s the point my lady.” Robb smiled.

“It’s not that simple.” Jon huffed.

“Can I have a go.” I asked gesturing to their swords.

They both chuckled until they realized I was serious.

“The arena is no place for a lady.” Robb spoke, he looked a bit sympathetic though.

I frowned.

Jon was about to speak until Theon called them to lunch.

That evening when I was lying on my bed I felt something shake me awake.

“Jon?” I frowned in the dark. He nodded.

“Come on.” He pulled me out of bed.

“Where are we going?” I asked but he shhhhed me.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise.” He whispered.

He dragged me out to the courtyard, where he lit a bunch of candles.

I smiled.

“Jon it’s beautiful.”

“Like you.” He responded, both our cheeks flushed.

“You sure you’re ready?” He asked me, changing the subject.

“For?”

“You’re greatest opponent.” He smiled and threw me a sword which landed on the floor in front of me. I smiled.

“Thank you.” I looked at him. He nodded.

He spent the rest of the night trying to teach me how to fight, and by 4AM I could have a basic spar with him.

He quickly blew out all the candles and lead me back to my chambers.

“Was I any good?” I asked.

He nodded as we walked.

“Are you just saying that?” I asked again.

He smiled. “You were better than Theon let’s put it that way.”

I smiled.

Ramsey chained me up and dragged me outside of winterfell with Rickon. We both got a bad hit when I hugged him, I was so relieved he was alright.

I watched as Ramsey explained the rules of his stupid little trick, how rickon had to run across the field to Jon. It was too easy. There was a catch.

I watched as he began to run and I watched Ramseys men began to load their crossbows.

I began to scream. “Nooo! Stop!” I screamed and they hit me, but I didn’t stop, I had to warn him.

Jon began to ride towards his brother… holding out his hand. But there it was, another stark gone.

My own scream was silent in my ears, I couldn’t hear anything as I watched him fall to the floor.

I sobbed. I watched Jon loose his horse and begin to take on an entire army by himself. I screamed again.

I felt Ramsey pull at my chains and drag me back to winterfell. Leaving the battle of the bastards. His war that he wasn’t even fighting.

Leaving the carnage. He took me to the courtyard. He put me on the execution platform and tied a rope around my neck. He explained how if Jon came to save me, the floor would disappear and so would I.

I waited, I saw the bodies pile up through the windows in the castle walls. I watched the giant break down winterfells gates. I smiled and cried when I saw him….just Jon.

“You’re too late.” Ramsey smiled and pointed at me. Jon’s face dropped he was covered in blood.

“No!” I yelled as I watched one of Ramseys men move to pull the lever.

Jon began to run towards me, as a red haired man threw an axe at the soldier. It killed him as he pulled the switch. I closed my eyes and took in a sharp breath.

I opened my eyes, Jon had caught me. I smiled as a tear ran down my cheek. He looked at me, examining my face.

His red hair friend cut the rope and jon put me down.

Ramsey began to load his crossbow.

“Jon.” I said and pointed at Ramsey.

His hands left my hips, and I almost missed his touch.

He used some debris as a shield as Ramsey fired arrows at him, he grew closer and closer to him.

I watched as Jon beat him up. A part of me liked that Ramsey would die here, today. A part of me knew it was wrong.

“Stop!” I let out. Jon looked at me and then at Sansa, still punching. And he did, he stopped.

He walked off into winterfell.

I ran across the courtyard to Sansa and we held each other. Tight.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. She laughed.

“Are you?” She scoffed.

We quickly decided Ramsey should be reunited with his pets. He didn’t deserve to live. Not even as a prisoner.

Later that evening I found myself in Aryas old bed chambers attempting to stitch up some of my cuts. I heard a knock at the door and looked up.

Jon.

“Hello.” I spoke.

“Hi.”

I slowly stood up.

It wasn’t long before his lips were on mine. We kissed for a long time, passionately. A kiss that made up for all our time lost.

We pulled away breathless, both crying.

“You stopped writing letters.” I spoke, he smiled.

“You stopped writing back.” He answered.

He hugged me, gently. I hugged him back as tightly as I could.

“You’re taller.” I smiled.

“You’re shorter.”

We both laughed.

He sat me on the bed and helped me stitch up my wounds. He held my hand tightly as he poured alcohol on my back.

We spent hours catching up.

We both sat on the end of the bed, my head on his shoulder.

“I thought you were dead.” I told him. “Twice.”

He chuckled. “You gave me a few scares too.”

“How was the wall?”

“Cold.” He looked down at me. I laughed.

“Is it true? The whitewalkers?” I asked more seriously now.

He sighed. “Unfortunately.”

“I’ve fought them, they’re too strong. I fear we won’t win this battle. But I’ll make sure you’re as far south as south goes-“

“No!” I interrupted, shaking my head.

Tears brimmed in his waterline.

“I’m not leaving again….I just got you back. We’re going to grow old together, remember?” My voice broke. “Even if you’ve found someone else-“

“There’s no one else.” He brushed his hand over my cheek.

“If you fight, I’ll fight.” I spoke.

“You did have a really good teacher.” He stated. I playfully nudged him as he smiled.

“I love you…just Jon, I always have.” I finished.

“I love you too, princess y/n Greyjoy.” He kissed me again gently.

“Snow.” I corrected and he frowned. “Queen y/n snow.”

A smile took over his whole face.

“If you’ll have me, that is? King Jon snow.”

#jon snow #jon snow x you #jon snow imagine #jon snow fanfiction #jon snow x reader #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones #ramsey bolton #sansa stark #winterfell

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lacefuneral · 10 months

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hi reddit. here are some tips.

i will be putting these below a "readmore" - which is the first lesson. on desktop there is a button for this. on mobile you type :readmore: followed by a linebreak. it is considered common ettique to shorten your long posts in this way.

by the way, are you reblogging a long post that isn't under a readmore? tag that as #long post so users can blacklist it and not have to scroll for five years.

(weird gaps in bullet points due to character limits lmao)

Title. Icon. Banner. blog description. (look around if you need an idea for what to put in your blog description.) Blogs without this information (ESPECIALLY the no icon + no title combo) gets you blocked immediately. This is because tumblr has always had a severe bot problem. Just grab a meme from your camera roll or a picture of a character you like from google.

also, because most users have their pronouns in their bio, it is expected that you will look there to check before addressing them, out of courtesy. don't just default to "they" - only do that if a person's pronoun's are unclear or if the pronouns listed ARE "they."

Disable public likes. the like button is for personal bookmarking. very often, people will like posts they have not read yet, so that they can read them later. a person's likes is not always reflective of their stances, and if your likes are public, people may use them against you in an argument. think of your likes as your browser history. tumblr users value privacy in this instance.

unrelated to the above point: likes are also used to show compassion for a user going through a tough time, or to say "hey, i thought this joke you made was funny." this use of likes is more for friend-to-friend communication.

Disable anything in your settings that is algorithmic including seeing posts based on other people's likes (one, because algorithms exist to make you mad and two, as part of respecting privacy)

set "following" to appear before "for you" (and overall avoid "for you")

Snooze Tumblr Live (sorry. you have to do this once a week bc tumblr sucks.)

Open your askbox so people can communicate with you. Decide if you want to allow anonymous asks and/or public DMs.

Enable the desktop version of your blog. This makes it so that when you use a computer and go to [yourusername].tumblr.com you can have a website with HTML and CSS. tumblr has tried very hard to kill blog personalization but you can find many helpful users posting in the tags, as well as pre-made themes you can install. tumblr users are the ones making the bulk of neocities websites, and in general tend to be friendly in redirecting you to resources.

enabling your desktop blog also allows you to insert links and do very basic editing (like inserting line breaks) in your blog description (we call "bio") which translates to the mobile version of your theme. you have to do this in the editor for the desktop on a computer. also, editing your theme on mobile (like changing color, font) will undo your HTML. your best bet is to edit your mobile theme first and THEN do the HTML/link stuff on a computer. i know it sounds a bit convoluted but you'll figure it out. (this website is made of duct tape)

also while you are on desktop: download xkit rewritten. it won't work on mobile but it gives you a lot of helpful features. also consider installing ublock origin if you haven't already, because tumblr will sometimes add annoying widgets to their website and that tool will allow you to block them. i also use "palettes for tumblr" to customize my dashboard color. tumblr DOES have built-in dashboard themes but i do not like them personally.

pinned posts. you can pin any post you make or reblog. some people use this to pin a funny meme, and other people use the pinned post as an extended bio (or otherwise an alternative to it). a tumblr post made on desktop can hold up to 30 images (the limit is 10 on mobile.) you can also embed links, a video, and even audio. you can change text color, have bullet points, and increase font size. as such, you can express yourself much more in a pinned post than in your mobile blog description. a typical pinned post may include information about the user, a link to an external website (like a carrd, neocities, or linktree), and sometimes an image or two. tumblr allows you to disable reblogs for a post, so most pinned posts are set this way so it just stays on a user's blog.

DNIs (also called "BYF"). not everyone uses them, and they can be divisive. it stands for "Do Not Interact" - and is a boundary set to keep people away. this may include age (example: "minors DNI"), political opinions (example: "prolifers DNI"), and sometimes deeply niche online discourse. DNIs are also sometimes a joke (example: "DNI if you like tuna salad"). there is actually a meme where someone will write a post with a very long, unreasonable DNI and users will count how many apply to them.

If you would upvote a post on reddit, you would reblog it here. If you see something and you think it is cool, you think it is funny, or you think it is helpful, reblog it. Some users have sideblogs (you can have infinite sideblogs attached to your main account) to organize all of the posts they reblog. Others simply use a tagging system for organizational purposes (and so users can blacklist ("filter") those tags in their settings if they don't want to see the post). For example, if I followed a user for Star Trek, but they also posted a lot of Star Wars, I might add "#star wars" to my list of filters. This way, I am only seeing the Star Trek posts. Tumblr's default way of handling this is to display a box that says "this post contains #Star Wars" and you can choose whether or not to open it. on desktop with xkit rewritten, you can have it hide those boxes entirely. please use filters. your sanity will thank you.

In a reblog, Organizational Tags are for /you./ I see a lot of confusion about this from new users. If you reblog someone else's post and add 500 tags..... it's not going to get picked up in tumblr search. You're not going to get any sort of exposure. Because it is not your post. Those tags are only for /you/ - if you want to find the post again.

tags are also used for commentary. most tumblr users do /not/ talk in post replies or in the comments of a reblog. most of them talk in tags. tags have a character limit so these messages are broken up in fragments. tumblr uses a comma (,) to make a new tag, so users often use either no punctuation or a period (.) or a hyphen (-) to break up thoughts. two apostrophes ('') are used instead of quotation marks (because they dont work in tags). this is also where "tumblr writing style" comes from. we all began to write in lowercase and use punctuation in. a weird way. like. for emphasis. there is also the Tumblr Comma, a special unicode character that resembles a comma and works in tags when copy+pasted or put there with a keyboard shortcut. but this is often not used. here it is: ‚

also here's an example of tags. you will notice that commentary goes before organizational: #GOD DHSHSKDDJDL #i cannot BELIEVE i forgot about this. what the fuck #star trek #spock

when leaving tags, most users talk to themselves. but please remember that tags can be seen by anyone, including the original poster. in general, it is discouraged to traumadump or be rude.

"prev tags" (which tumblr staff is trying their damnest to erase sadly) is when a user reblogs a post from another user and tags it simply ''prev'' or ''prev tags" (meaning "i agree with the previous user's tags"). sometimes it's because a thoughtful observation was made, but usually it's a way of saying "hey! that was a funny joke!" without putting the user on blast by screenshotting the tags. it's most common between friends and mutuals (users following each other). i would say it is equivalent to users whispering to each other and giggling rather than getting up on a table and shouting. "prev tag chain" is when users reblog "prev tags" "prev prev tags" - and so on. however, sadly, tumblr has removed the feature of moving backwards in a reblog chain on desktop. i have not updated my app and refuse to, so i so not know if it is gone on mobile as well, but it probably is. EDIT: the browser extension Xkit Rewritten has an option now, in "tweaks" called "restore links to individual posts in post header." it should be the first option. prev tags, on desktop at least, is saved!

screenshotting someone elses tags and adding the image in a reblog is known as "passing peer review." it is, however, considered to be Greatly Annoying to accompany those tags with unnecessary commentary (ex: "these tags pass peer review!" "WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS" "LMAAOO THIS IS SO FUNNYYY"). the tags can stand on their own. the only instance in which this is different is during a serious discussion, when you want to build off of another user's perspective. in which case, you address them as normal. some people credit taggers, some people don't. crediting tends to occur in discussions.

when making an original post, do not use irrelevant tags for Exposure. this is Greatly Hated by the userbase and is also against the TOS. you will get blocked at best, reported or yelled at at worst. only add relevant tags, and do not go overboard.

reposting other people's artwork is highly discouraged and is considered the Highest Offense. if you do any sort of reposting, you should credit and link to a creator directly. however, tumblr loves reposted videos, especially ones from tiktok. there are entire accounts dedicated to posting those.

sideblogs! it is possible to have multiple blogs under one email address. tumblr treats these blogs as proxies of your main blog. this means that sending someone an ask/commenting in the replies of a post will always appear with the name of your main blog, your likes will appear with the name of your main blog, and that if you follow someone you will appear on their followers list as your main blog (so you may be mutuals with someone and not even know it because their sideblog interacts with you, but isn't on your follower's list... because their main blog is listed there instead.) however, DMs DO appear as the sideblog name. you cannot swap your main blog with your sideblog. and right now, there is a bug where deleting a sideblog will delete your entire tumblr account so. don't do that lol. anyway, the amount of sideblogs you can make is literally infinite and i think there's just a Daily Limit of creating 10 of them or something. some users make a sideblog for each interest they have. others have no sideblogs and reblog everything to main. and then you have people like me that do both. somehow. some users will make sideblogs to hoard URLs. also sorry i'm just introducing this now, but that is what our usernames are called. because when tumblr was more desktop-oriented, every blog was literally a Personal Website. so ya. we call them "URLs." anyway, if someone wants to hang onto a URL for later, they might save it on an empty blog. this usually pisses people off. a "canon URL" is when someone has a URL that is like One Word or a Company Name or a Fictional character. hypothetical examples: "ketchup" "burgerking" "lukeskywalker." these are highly rare, coveted, and you look cool as hell if you have one.

tumblr's /\/SFW policy (/\/ is an N. i've censored it.) is best described as ???. posts that are safe for work get marked as /\/SFW and hardcore p0rn somehow persists. in general, be very wary of posting even artistic nvdity (even though it is supposedly permitted.) never deliberately mark your own posts as Mature. this is essentially like walking directly into a bear trap and waving a big sign at tumblr staff saying "hey! make it so people can't find my blog and i'm far more likely to get banned!" also do not tag posts with "/\/SFW." too many of those will get your entire blog marked as mature (which makes your posts pretty much invisible to other users.) tumblr users used /\/SFT (/\/ot safe for tumblr) for a long time, but staff caught on. there is now no consensus and people use their own personal tags for it. just pick something and people will catch on and blacklist it if need be. (btw you CAN type whatever you want on this website. i am only censoring in the hopes that this will allow my post to appear in the tags. this isn't tiktok lol)

while it is possible to disable reblogs on a post, this is a very RECENT addition and most users forget it exists. as such, please use common sense. if someone has written a post about, say, how sad they are feeling because they got in a fight with their family... that's not a good post to reblog. a like would be better here, like a pat on the back.

we LOVE polls. we love them. they are like sports to us. most of them are popularity polls - who is the better character? but people also use polls for, say, making bug emojis "race" each other. or "lets build a cake." other people use polls to write poetry, or learn about regional differences, or even to draw a pen!s. if you tag a poll as "poll" it will most likely be seen and voted in, because users look in the tag to find buttons to click.

there is unfortunately a T3RF (this one censored specifically to protect my notifs lmao. 3 is E) presence here. report, block, ignore, move on. common courtesy for users to inform each other if one is accidentally reblogged from. it also helps to blacklist tags related to them to avoid them. use shinigam! eyes browser extension on desktop.

there is NO equivalent to reddit awards on this website. as the userbase hates the staff, it is considered blasphemous to spend your money on checkmarks, etc. - buying them as a gift for another user is seen as a hostile act. it's like receiving a "kick-me" sign. once owned, badges cannot be deleted. thankfully, tumblr now allows you to disable checkmarks and other badges from appearing publically. that said, some users also give checkmarks unironically to show appreciation??? and others buy checks for themselves???? so yeah. tumblr doesnt actually have a verification system - these exist to mock twitter and to make a quick buck.

tumblr blaze. essentially, tumblr has a system in place to showcase user posts instead of advertisements sometimes. this is done by the user paying money. the higher the amount, the more impressions. tumblr users can now also blaze OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BLAZE DISABLED!!! blazing another person's post (without asking first) is seen as a hostile act. why? because most blazed posts result in rude comments from strangers who are annoyed to see the post on their dashboard. unless it's like, a cute picture of a cat. or something genuinely helpful. boosting your soundcloud or a selfie or a rant about fandom does not typically garner positive responses. you can blaze just like. watch out. and also always ask the OP if you want to blaze someone else's post. (there is a reason this feature is called "blaze pvp")

tumblr merch is also frowned upon, as tumblr staff steals ideas from the userbase and profits off of them without financially compensating or crediting the users. there was a meme on here, "vanilla extract", that tumblr turned into water bottles while the person who made the meme was having to fundraise to survive :(

BLOCK. LIBERALLY.

umm i think thats it for now. but like if you have questions feel free to launch them into The Void with some tags and users are pretty quick to help out! hopefully i covered some stuff that other ppl haven't

#reddit #196 #reddit migration

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nonranghaes · 9 months

Text

heads up: depiction of anxiety attack (hyperventilating, anxiety, a loss of control/out of body feeling) + mentions of vomiting (fic primarily under readmore as a result)

from the moment you left your apartment, you knew something was wrong.

living with your own personal concoction of mental bullshit sucks. your family knows about it, your friends know a little less, and your long-term boyfriend knows... probably the most of any of those people, since you opened up to minho easier in a weird way. he texted you maybe ten minutes ago that he'd be there in thirty minutes, and you'd realized that you were out of drinks and the store was only a short walk away... so what was the harm in making a quick run?

except something just... set you off in a weird way. maybe it was a text from someone else that you decided to answer later, or it was the person walking down the street in a jacket that you felt you'd seen somewhere else, or maybe it was something about the news article you read that morning that slithered under your skin and stayed there. but the moment you stepped outside, you felt... off.

and now you're really feeling it now that you're safe at home again, already shut into your bedroom as you pace and try to swallow these feelings whole. minho will be here in a few minutes, you tell yourself: push back. you can try to smash the ugly panic rising in your chest if you just try hard enough, can't you? except it doesn't work that way. you've been able to stave off these moments of hyperventilation and sobbing until you were able to get out, but that's not how it works at home. home is out. home is safe for you to come undone, and your brain seems to refuse to let you breathe now.

a swear bubbles up and tumbles from your lips as you decide you have to ride this out. you can't fight it, and minho will be there soon, and you can't let him see you as a mess. he'll let himself in: you know he will, because he always does nowadays. he practically lives there now. and that means he'll see you and he'll worry and you can't have minho worry more than he already does.

you practically collapse onto your bed, curling in on yourself as your breathing grows more frantic, more uneven, more fucked up as everything feels like its closing in on you. you fumble for your phone, desperate to find some sort of help. a video to help you breathe. something. but your hands shake too much to type, and you abandon it, pulling a pillow into your arms to grapple with as your body fights against you.

if you could just stagger your stupid breathing, you could be better. you would be fine. but your body and your mind feel at odds with one another now. all you want is for it to be over. you sob into the pillow you're clutching, just trying to find some way of stopping yourself.

the door opens. you think minho says your name as he hurries over, asking if he can touch you now. he's seen your anxiety attacks before, he's helped you through them, and yet he still asks to be careful. to make sure that he's not overstepping. he pulls the empty trashcan from beside your desk over to the bed, and he sits, reaching for you. you shift so that your head is in his lap, still holding the pillow to your chest as he finds your hand.

"can you count with me?"

you don't think you can do anything more than sob and breathe frantically. you don't think you can do anything at all, really. your body feels like its out of your control, and it makes you nauseous. minho holds your hand securely, murmuring that he's here. he's with you.

and he begins to count, slowly.

one... you feel your stomach turn. you haven't eaten today. is that good? is that bad? he'll scold you. but you feel sick. you're going to be sick.

two... minho's watching you carefully. does he pity you? does he wish he was dating someone else? why is he with you? why doesn't he just leave? you don't want him to leave. please. don't leave.

three... what does he see in you? what does anyone see in you? lots of things, you manage to think: people like you for a reason, even if you struggle to see them.

four--

you swear loudly, lunging for the trashcan as you vomit into the bag. minho's already there with you, though, hand rubbing your back as he supports you through this. it isn't much, but your throat burns nonetheless and you wipe your mouth on your sleeve before burying your face into minho's shoulder. he slowly sets the can down, holding you as your breathing finally evens out. your eyes are still wet. minho's saying something you don't quite hear.

"did something happen?" finally pushes through your foggy mind, and you shrug. you don't know what happened, specifically. all it took was one perceived threat somewhere along the way for you to get so upset. funny thing, anxiety.

"it's okay," he says a moment later, still rubbing your back. "you can always call me if you start feeling anxious."

you know you can. you nod. "i know," you finally manage to say. just so he knows, too: you trust him, even though you hate him seeing you like this. you hate anyone seeing you like this, really.

minho presses a tiny kiss against the side of your head. "i'm going to get you some water, okay?" he waits until your draw back, and he takes your face into his hands. "okay?"

you nod. "okay. thank you, honey."

a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth: he'll only rarely admit it, but he loves when you call him things like honey. it makes him feel loved, the same way you feel when he looks at you. "we can cuddle when i come back, if you want to stay here a little longer." he tucks a strand of your hair back from your face. "i was going to ask if you wanted to go out, but..."

"maybe in a bit," you say, and you watch him get up after pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. getting out with minho feels... possible, if you take care of yourself first. the water, maybe a little snack... and cuddling with him for a bit, just to help you feel safe again. "min?"

he looks up from where he's tucking your trashcan away. "yes?"

"i love you."

he does smile this time. "i love you, too. i'll be back in a moment."

(and he is, quietly pressing a thing of plastic-wrapped crackers into your hand too. just to say how well he knows you.)

#nonranghaes.thoughts #nonranghaes.skz #skz x you #skz imagine #skz x reader #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #this is too long for this blog but do i care rn. not really #this was almost a vernon fic but i always default to vernon #and didnt want to default to vernon #i dont even know what fucking got me i was FINE one minute and then i WASNT and i hate it #it just sucks. i just hate feeling like this.

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basilone · 1 month

Text

Sometimes, war is the province of women. An alternate take on the battle for air dominance over the skies of Europe during World War Two, as told through the stories of an American all-female bomber crew and the people around them.

This is a collection of standalone works that all interlock to form one big patchwork quilt of stories. It will see new additions every so often, especially because a lot of it is written to prompts. The collection on AO3 is my best attempt at organizing it in chronological order.

[click here for the WIP story collection!]

Want to know a little more about the OCs featured in this collection? Please click the readmore below!

Charlotte “Lottie” Rivers-Mayhew Fighter pilot turned bomber pilot Can fly anything, will try anything. Big mouth, little heart. Lives in the land of innuendo and crude jokes. Loud about her whole existence. Very smart, but downplays that like whoa. Julie “Jules” Langdon Bomber pilot Runs this gig and everyone else just needs to get with her program. Great at reading people the riot act. Comically unimpressed by everything that lands in her path. Nosewrinkles at any and all delays. Known for slipping people an extra bite to eat. Christina “Tiny” Heartfield Bomber co-pilot Needs five hours to get ready for any kind of social event. Silver spoon baby. Knows all the gossip and all the good songs. Gets a little bit stressed about flying in warzones. Loves a good ghost story. Eleanor “Nora” Graham Navigator The Mom Friend. Prone to giving hugs and peptalks. Bossy and quite rude when things don’t go her way. Cannot flirt her way out of anything. If you see her running, that’s just standard procedure. Valerie “Val” Hodges Radio operator Absolute poker-faced ballsy liar. Most innocent face in the whole crew. Smokes more than her job should allow. Will try to wiggle out of any lectures by offering the most inane excuses. There’s not a puzzle she can’t solve. Genevieve “Two” Hodgson Tail gunner Shows up late to everything except the war. Always chewing gum. Queen of half-hearted salutes and vague politeness. Keeps saying she’s too poor for this level of bullshit. Has a mean right hook. Madeleine “Push” Perrault Flight engineer Making lists calms her down. Can and will call you stupid in four different languages. Thinks planes are better than people. Voice like a foghorn with the attitude to match. Believes she can fix anything. Evelyn “One-Eye” Carter Ball turret gunner Happy-go-lucky baby of the group, rolling with life’s punches. Will talk your ear off. Could probably get away with murder. Best gunner in the crew. Can be painfully naïve. Dorothy “Dee” Llewellyn Waist gunner Born a pessimist. Genuinely thinks no man should ever sport a mustache. Has a limitless supply of stories about her family. Very protective. Would inspire a riot if anyone ever let her talk long enough without interruptions. Maxine “Max” Morrison Waist gunner Bold and brash and crackling with energy. Cracks more bad jokes than anyone alive. Has developed some rather complicated handshakes. Will interrupt any event or conversation. If you see her running, something’s probably chasing her. Stella “Frosty” Lombardi Bombardier Icy calm in any crisis. Can calculate any bomb drop. Complains about the food. Is a true girl’s girl and refuses to so much as speak to most men. Never wants to miss out on the fun.

Lucille Dorrance-Jones, goes by Lucy Jones Nurse The singlemost stubborn person on the planet. Thinks some injuries are fascinating. Harbors a healthy distrust of bureaucracy and paperwork. Can probably drink you under the table. Encourages anyone to sing. Cressida Dorrance-Jones Interrogator Sharp as a tack. Does not forgive, does not forget. Secretly more big-hearted than people would give her credit for. Really wants to fly a plane. Has an ongoing one-sided vendetta with Meatball. Darlene Mayfair Mechanic Cheerful and spirited. Very gifted storyteller. Turns shy when complimented. Ride or die for people and sticks with them longer than they might deserve. Marches to the beat of her own drum. Georgina “George” Campbell Mechanic Has a soft spot for strays. Suffers no fools. Is here to win a war, not ogle cute men. Perpetually fighting a losing battle against the grease stains on her uniform. The best co-conspirator you could ask for. Imogene “Genie” Chapman Clubmobile girl Very outgoing people-person. Better at giving advice than at taking it. Designated hair-cutter. Loves movies and dancing. Knows just about anybody by name. Jack Ellis OSS Doesn’t miss a beat. No-nonsense natural leader. Very determined to do what he believes is the right thing. Talks about the war in terms of “the game”. Warm and caring once he lets his guard down.

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impactdial · 16 days

Text

would you guys mind if i just dumped a bunch of sanji/usopp/sanuso headcanons lmao 🧍‍♂️(putting these under a readmore because there's a LOT)

sanji

-wasian (korean on his moms side)

-his natural hair color is technically black but due to the mutation being partially suppressed, his hair is blonde. he had to start dyeing his hair after the mutation awakened because if he gets too upset/emotional while fighting, his hair will begin turning black

-bisexual + nonbinary. feminine in a show dog boy poodle kind of way. mainly uses he/him but is ok with close friends using she/they too.

-extremely claustrophobic. cannot stand to wear things around or over his head for very long.

-this is more in the vein of a modern au but: he understands but doesn’t fluently speak french (zeff never formally taught him. he knows a few phrases in korean)

-has hardcore perfectionism thats tied to his self worth. everything he does has to be up to his “standard” or he spirals

-has an eating disorder that only chopper and usopp know about in detail. wont eat until everyone else has eaten.

usopp

-afro latino

-bisexual + trans man. post-ts he gains the confidence to enjoy his femininity more, which he does with nami and occasionally robin as well

-has an anxiety disorder and adhd. listening to him info dump is kinda hypnotic ngl. even luffy stays invested most of the time. started taking antidepressants after thriller bark

-more intelligent than he gives himself credit for. he's an incredibly fast learner.

-bigger and heavier post-ts. he's probably only second to zoro in terms of bulk. has THE MOST cake out of everyone on the crew (yes even franky)

-has a difficult/different relationship with food. surviving on boin left him with some weird stress responses

-similarly, he doesn't really enjoy eating meat as much anymore because of boin. (fish is fine, it's mostly red meat he can't always eat)

-him, robin, chopper and luffy have drawing sessions together where they just draw on a giant sheet of paper.

-keeps an immaculate record of everything he's grown in his garden and sketches every single interesting plant he sees on islands.

sanuso specific:

-both of them wish they had each other in their lives when they were kids

-before they got together, they both thought "does he feel this thing we have too? what if i'm misreading the signs because i've never been this close to anyone like this before?"

-even thought they're dating, they still have their typical playful, bickering dynamic where they like to tease each other because they're so comfortable around each other. strangers are surprised when they find out sanji and usopp hadn't grown up together.

-sanji isn't ridiculously doting and over the top like he can be with nami or robin, but he's still stupidly romantic and affectionate even when he's not trying to be. usopp is, of course, very endeared by this

-they're both vers switches but sanji tends to be more of a sub

#one piece #sanuso #ramblings

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i-hear-a-sound · 8 months

Text

Sort of dumb Drakengard and Nier stuff I find really really interesting

this will be long. and dumb. and probably wrong. under the readmore

This is an image of what the Alien’s ship looks like in Automata. And yes, it most definitely looks like a flower. Interesting thing is, aliens coming down in a ship shaped like a flower is something that sounds really familiar to the lore: of how in Drakengard, the Watchers came down with the Flower. (fact check me if that’s wrong though)

This image is faintly in every in-game cutscene in Drakengard. These are implied to be images from the universe’s altered Bible? (Christianity is the main religion in the game, it’s just altered with things like the Goddess the seals etc). Which, means, if you squint…

this image looks like a dragon impaled on a tower. It’s pixelated as fuck but higher quality images do confirm this. If I find one of those I’ll update it. (something something, timeloop is obvious)

These two scenes have been paralleled to death. Yes, the black box scene in Automata does look somewhat moderately kind of if you squint like the scene in which Caim pacts with Angelus, but let’s focus more on the ladder scene because something has always bugged me about it.

Firstly. The souls themselves. Maybe it’s just me… they look like egg cells? Which, no, I’m not going “Caimangelus had sex, good for them” I’m going “If this is the case, what else are referred to as “eggs” in this game?”

In the original version of the game in Japan, the Seeds of Destruction are not referred to as Seeds. They’re called eggs.

another thing. We get to see what happens when a seed is destroyed in ending C. And for a brief second, it looks like this:

Another thing about this scene. Something I also never noticed was that when he pulls out his soul, Caim’s chest does… this?

I’d gif it if i could but atm I cant, but believe me. Angelus just shoots it out from her mouth he just reaches into his chest like it’s liquid. And again, back to the ending C scene:

What does this imply?

…Jack shit lol I just think it’s interesting. Smiley face.

Accord is an incredibly mysterious character in the world of Drakenier. We know nothing of her origins, who created her, why she is at all, and the most we know is:

There is a lot of her. She was created in the “Kingdom of night”. She was created by “something like humans”. She studies singularities. Her goal is to prevent the fall-down. She’s a boob lover.

Something interesting to note is that, the character of Adam kind of somewhat maybe shares a lot of design parallels with Accord. Not even just in terms of the use of white/cream.

Adam has glasses, a black tie, and on one hand has a glove similar to what Accord has. In the anime he gets the same tattoo of the Cult of the Watcher’s Eve had in the game, and Accord is specifically stated to have taken an interest in the branch involving the cult’s creation.

But what’s weird is that Adam… is a machine. And accord isn’t. At least, she’s not supposed to be? Who knows. I have lots so say about Accord but most of it is just theorizing so I’ll leave that for another day.

But I want to talk about the other twin: Eve.

Weirdly enough, Eve and Brother Nier and to an extent, the Shadowlord, share a lot of similarities as well. Sure there’s the white hair, the fact they’re both siblings of someone, etc etc etc, but something I never noticed was how similar their attacks are. Thank the fucking sadfutago church thing for that one lol.

I mean… just the fact that these two not only share the same English VA, but that in the automata DLC for Replicant, the Shadowlord boss music is replaced by Dependent Weakling. (Fact check that for me too, it’s been a while)

Weird parallels all around.

These… doors. Why are they here?

for context, in a Drakengard level you stumble across just this… room with a couple random, red doors. Some of them are open. Some of them are not. I. Don’t. Know. Why. These. Are. Here.

(I mean I do… I very much do, but again. That’s theory.)

Anyways. Doors are actually mentioned in the game, in the final line for ending C. “A pitiful child shall defy the hands of the gods, and a door will close.”

Hmmm?? Thing to note: the “hands of the gods” are dragons. “A pitiful child shall defy the dragons, and a door will close.”

And to end off this post, a fun fact; before becoming the first intoner, Lady Zero had a different name. Rose.

#drakengard #nier #drakenier #nier automata #nier replicant #drakengard 1 #drakengard 3 #caim #accord #angelus #a2 #eve #adam #lady zero #intoner zero #2b #9s #kaine #AND IF I GOT ANY OF THIS WRONG PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I DONT WANNA BE DUMB AND ILL FIX IT IF I WAS :3

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foone · 1 year

Note

Please don’t feel obligated to reply because this might be a touchy issue, but i see on one of your posts that you hate Hacker News. I just discovered HN a few months ago and have been enjoying it, but as a fellow trans person i’m curious if they’ve been transphobic or the like (based on the context of your comment) and if i should stay away

OKAY SO here's thing thing: as a reader, HN is... fine. They're not great. They have a history of sexism in what posts get boosted and a history of various shades of transphobia in the comments, but that's not particularly unusual as far as internet forums go. Reddit is much the same, for example.

My problems with HN are related to getting posted there. The way the site works when you're reading it and when you're getting posted there are very different. More explanation under the readmore since this got long. (warning: some talk of transphobia and doxxing)

The site is not avoidable. Back when I was still on twitter, getting posted on HN meant your notifications were useless for a week, because they are scraped by endless bots trying to farm for likes and reblogs, and every single one of them ends up tagging you. And even now when I'm off twitter, getting posted there means you still get informed that you've been posted there, by well-meaning people who know you hate it, or are just innocently commentating on how it's neat to see you on HN. Or hey, in the latest iteration, you find out because your askbox is now full of slurs (and not just the ones you'd expect!). Basically, it is impossible to be submitted to HN and not know about it.

And then it gets worse because it's now a known fact that I don't like being on HN. Meaning every time I AM on HN, it turns into a big debate in the comments about why I don't like HN, why I post the way I do, and people arguing with the explanation of my opinion. I'm not even there, and people are mad at the phantom of me for not doing things in the way they like.

Because how I post is part of what they always get mad at me about. I have severe ADHD: This is a well known fact about me, I post about it a lot. It means that I used to post on twitter a lot, because twitter was (at the time) one of the only sites I could post on at all: The way it makes you chop up your line of thinking into small chunks, each of which is small enough that I can focus on it. I've since managed to handle tumblr-posting, and I occasionally post on mastodon now, but for most of the time that I was posted on HN, I was posting this way, only on twitter, in long threads where I don't think much ahead or do editing/revisions BECAUSE I CAN'T.

And here's the thing about people who prefer more "traditional" geek news sites like HN: A lot of them are there because they hate the bite-size nature of sites like twitter and tiktok. And they are Not Happy with people submitting twitter threads to HN: They hate that kind of formatting of content, and announce that fact, loudly.

And then people in the comments point out that I have ADHD and can't post in the style they'd prefer (long well-edited blog posts), and then it turns into an argument there, often with people happily brining up their opinions on whether ADHD is "real" or things like that. Again, I'm getting argued about without being there to defend myself.

And this is where it gets transphobic, through the indirect route of sexism: Someone says something innocent but vaguely dickish like "well he should just hire someone to rewrite all his twitter posts as blog posts!" (like they think I am doing this as a job and can afford to pay an editor, rather than just some weirdo who rants because that's what they do). They assume I'm a man, because most of the people who get posted on HN (and especially the ones who get upvoted) are. They just assume everyone without an Obviously Female Name and a profile picture that's a photo of a smiling woman is male, and honestly they're probably right most of the time, because that's just how the gender balance on HN ends up working.

And then someone points out I use they/them pronouns, and it just goes to shit. You get people yelling that it's not their job to figure out the pronouns of everyone they're talking about, like it's a perfectly normal thing to just assume everyone is male, you get people arguing about how "he" used to be the gender neutral pronoun, you get people arguing that singular-they is ungrammatical, you get people taking offense at the very idea of they/them pronouns because "you can't force everyone to follow your religion" (as apparently either trans or non-binary is a religion now (well, I am a pope)), and then a bunch of "[post flagged]" and you can only speculate about how bad THOSE posts were, if so much other transphobia is still sitting in the comments, untouched by the supposed moderators who are supposed to delete it.

You get people calling you mentally ill, and then getting in arguments about how they mean YOU SPECIFICALLY for the crime of "wanting to not be posted on HN", and not all trans people. Because apparently the HN rules are fine with you saying "this specific trans person is mentally ill and should be locked up" as long as you don't imply that your statements also apply to trans people in general.

And then you get hate in your contact forms for days because people realize you're not active on the HN comments and need to bring the "fight" to you directly.

And frankly, this whole mess is made worse by the site's userbase treating it as a joke or something easily fixable. Like, aside from making my pronouns "obvious" (I'm not sure how, exactly? it's already in all my profiles) which wouldn't help, they want me to just move to a different site, one where I can easily block incoming links by their referrer? They always point to JWZ's blog as an example of this, but he's hosting his posts on his own site. He fundamentally is doing something very different than I am, and I really shouldn't have to CHANGE WHAT SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS I USE just because they're being a butt.

And treating it like a joke? oy vey! I once posted a rant on tumblr about WHY EXACTLY I don't like getting posted on HN, and guess what happened next? SOMEONE POSTED THAT THREAD ON HN.

They also have a history of getting mad at me for not wanting to be posted on HN, like it's prima-dona behavior or "egotistical". Like I should be just happy that my stuff got posted there, something that has only ever brought negative attention. I think maybe they assume I'm doing this as a job, and every time they link to my stuff, I make a bunch of money? That's not the case. I don't make any money from them. I don't have ads. This isn't my job. (Fun fact: I know at least one person who has their blog set up to show ads only when HN links to their content, and not otherwise)

I really don't know why they think it's egotistical of me to not want to get harassed, dismissed, and spammed by their site and their users. It's almost like they think it's me posting my content on HN myself, which I would never do because it doesn't aid me in any way. If I was making content for them, I would make sure it gets posted there. I'm not, so I don't. I post for the sites I post on. I could blog in a way they'd like and then post it to HN if I wanted to. I don't. I choose to tweet (in the past) or post on tumblr or post on mastodon, because I'm posting for those specific communities.

And the thing about it is that all these points are, to some extent, obvious. And people know them. Maybe not the people posting the most unthinking takes on HN, but others will point them out. So this just contributes to any HN thread on my posts turning into a big argument.

And there's always people going "WELL JUST DON'T READ THE POSTS ABOUT YOU" as if that's a reasonable option. first of all, I can't be ignorant about them, as mentioned before they kick down my door and go HEY FOONE YOU'RE ON HACKERNEWS. But more importantly, I'm trans. Do you know what happens if enough people get mad at you online? They start posting your home address, phone number, and pictures of your face and relatives. I have to stay at least SLIGHTLY aware of how the discussion on me is going, or I'll be completely surprised when someone shows up at my house with a gun. (This isn't hyperbole: I have gotten doxxed before because I made a twitter thread that got the wrong people a little too mad at me)

Anyway I've talked to the admins of the site and they have basically refused to do anything about it. They admit that they can block my posts from showing up on the site, but they don't want to because people enjoy my content. My wishes don't matter.

And anyway the epilogue is that this has mostly worked out by now. I stopped posting on twitter, not because HN was pushing me to a site where I could better control my post's reach, but because Elon destroyed it. I'm posting longer-form content now, not because my ADHD got better, but because years of training myself to write this way has made it so that I can handle writing as if I was on twitter-like sites, without the enforced restrictions of them.

And I have countermeasures against HN now. Offensive and defensive ones. I'm a little less likely to be posting Cool Tech Stuff here on tumblr now (because every time this happens it severely dampens my enthusiasm for the subject), but I'm a lot less worried that something I post will end up on HN now, as I have options. (I don't want to go into them because HN being HN, they might take preemptive counter-countermeasures to try to disarm them).

Anyway, tl;dr: it's okay if you like reading the site. my problems with it are with getting submitted there, not with reading it. As long as you don't submit my content there, that's 100% okay with me.

#hacker news #cw transphobia #cw doxxing

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cowboyshit · 2 months

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If I remember correctly, I think Evil Uno said something along the lines of Adam still not being happy even when he was champion. What are your thoughts on that?

oh, you don't even KNOW how excited I am about this ask. I'm going to have to tuck my answer under a readmore. this was honestly a change in hangman's character that I LOVED and always wished could have been more fully played out.

firstly, yes! evil uno told adam specifically: [The Dark Order was] there for your big moment when you won the championship, but you weren't happy. You never seemed happy. I don't know if you thought this was going to be your big moment and it wasn't enough. I hope you find what does makes you happy, but I don't think that championship was it.

I felt like this was a subtle piece of story that most people did NOT pick up on until it was a little too late, because adam lost the belt and couldn't continue telling whatever character arc he'd been working on - which I will ALWAYS BE UPSET ABOUT. some of his best work is in the subtlety of his long-term storytelling and in the brief time he had the belt we saw him go from happy to have it, to feeling the pressure of carrying the belt and the matches he was having to go through, to these brief moments where he would act like the weight of it felt burdensome. there's even a shot (one of my favorites) where he's walking down the ramp with it on his shoulder and he looks over at it and seems upset that it's there.

which is so FASCINATING for a character who chased after it for years with such a hunger, it oftentimes blew up years-long friendships. for a character who proclaimed at the very start of the company that they WOULD be the champion, to finally hold it, and not actually feel satisfied? TRAGIC! the story wasn't the chase for the belt, the story was that he needed to believe IN HIMSELF. he thought once he was holding it and he was champion all of those insecurities that had berated him for years would magically disappear, but they didn't. In fact, the insecurities stuck on even stronger, because now he had to prove that he was capable of holding it, capable of representing this company. the spotlight was front and center on him.

also, shortly after he became champion, adam added one of my favorite songs to his playlist: heavy crown by trixie matel

Heavy head and a heavy crown Had a few since you came to town Where are you gonna keep them still? Winning's losing with a couple strings It's a choosing between two things It's a two-piece suit or all the frills Did you ever think that if you got everything All the records, they don't play the same?

take into account that it was kenny he won the belt from? that added on so much more pressure!!! I honestly was fascinated by the turn of his mood toward the belt and the way he was beginning to lash out again because of it. it was such an intriguing turn of events, versus "he won the belt and now he lived happily ever after"

there was so many avenues of storytelling that I could see adam building up when he held the title, and I will always find myself a little curious to know how that story might've kept playing out. even if he (when he) gets the title again, it won't be this story again, since his character arc has grown in too far of a direction.

although I am curious what that story will be - a lot of people don't pay close enough attention to understand the stories adam is trying to tell. I think he's sorely overlooked as a storyteller in this business and I wish I could scream from the rooftops how much of a mastermind he is.

#ashley answers #you happened to ask something thats one of my favorite things I dont often get to talk about

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blushedfemme · 23 days

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hi :) so i’m a 25yo femme lesbian and i’ve never had sex (has to do with growing up closeted in a strict over controlling environment) im only just now starting to have more independence and control over my life and i want to have sex. and i dont want to wait until i find something serious with someone cuz that could take a while and also i want to have experience for when i actually have a serious relationship with someone so i can be a good lover for them. tho i admit i do find it a bit scary i’m considering downloading dating apps to find people to have casual sex with next time i’m out of town. but i don’t really know how to go about it… i feel like no one is gonna want to fuck me because i don’t have any experience like how weird would it be if i’m in someone’s dms like hey i’m a 25yo virgin are u still dtf? lol .. so yeah if u have any thoughts or advice or if people reading this have advice please let me know cuz i’m a little nervous but i really want to do this..

hi lovely 💕 it sounds like you’ve had a very tough go of it and i’m so glad to hear you’re now able to have independence and control over your own life, that’s incredible ☺️

first, there is nothing weird about being a virgin at any age and no one who’s worth your time will fault you for it. i would happily have sex with someone who has no experience and there are a lot of people out there who feel the same!

i gently urge you to let go of the idea that you need to have a certain amount of real-life sexual experience before you start dating for a relationship. being a good lover is simply about communication, trust and curiosity about the other person. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: anytime someone is with a new partner, no matter how much sex they’ve had, they’re inexperienced because that particular person’s body and pleasure is brand-new to them. we are all “virgins” the first time we have sex with someone new. your future partners will be learning you at the same time that you’re learning them, and it’s beautiful and messy and real and very sexy, trust me.

in my opinion, all the experience you really need can be acquired on your own, by reading about sex (erotica, sex education, sexual health sources, etc.), watching porn that you enjoy, and by fantasizing and exploring your body by yourself. masturbation absolutely teaches you so much and is a valid form of experience. especially if you’re coming from a background of sexual repression and being closeted (i can super relate) just getting yourself comfortable with your sexuality and being horny is a whole process. but doing that will help you have better, safer and more grounded sex.

all that being said, casual sex can be great and fun and there’s nothing wrong with pursuing that, too!! a few thoughts under the readmore bc this is getting long:

always have an open convo about STIs and any other health considerations beforehand. if it feels like you can’t have that convo for whatever reason then you probably shouldn’t have sex with that person. i am guilty of being reckless with this and although i’ve been lucky so far it’s not worth the anxiety lol

be prepared to speak up!! you have to be honest about what feels good and what doesn’t, or you’re probably not going to enjoy it. people can’t read minds. it’s hard to speak up with someone you don’t know very well. our ‘niceness’ programming kicks in. you have to override it.

be very clear-eyed about expectations going in. if you’re just looking for fun, and the other person is trying to date you, that can lead to messiness and hurt. it needs to be casual for both parties.

standard safety practices apply: tell a friend where you’re going, agree on a time to check in and a protocol for if shit goes awry. trust your gut. if something doesn’t feel right, leave.

sex is a huge endorphin high, and that usually means there’ll be a crash afterward. the next day you might feel like shit and regret everything, even if in the moment you were super into it and having fun. this is normal, it’s chemicals in your brain and not a reflection on what actually happened. (unless this feeling persists or you feel icky abt something specific that went down, then talk to a trusted friend or a mental health professional if you can.) if you have a good line of communication with the person you hooked up with, just reaching out and saying “hey, i had fun the other night, i really liked it when you did _____” and letting them give you some reassurance in return can go a long way to soothe the hook-up hangover

i hope some of this helps 💗 and no matter what, going at your own pace and taking your sweet time will always feel better in the end, even though it can be tempting to rush and “make up for lost time” (speaking from experience as a late bloomer myself.) wishing you luck + lots of safe and amazing sex!! 😉

#clarke answers #ask a femme #long post

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tangledbea · 11 months

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Why does everybody hate Cassandra’s arc in season 3?

Well, not literally everyone hates it. Lots of people think it's really good. I don't like to generalize and say that "everyone" feels a certain way about anything.

But what a lot of people don't like comes from a few different directions, often coming together in the center into a hot mess. I'll do my best to recall all the biggest complaints. (Under a readmore, because it's kind of long and I don't want to subject people to it if they don't want to see it.)

It's incredibly out of character for her to blindly trust a stranger who won't reveal their name to her. She mentions several times during the course of the series that she doesn't trust people (especially people she's only just met), but Zhan Tiri wouldn't even tell her who she was, and Cassandra just decided that what this strange ghost child in a weird and dangerous house had to say was more important that a friendship built over the course of a few years, even if that friendship was currently strained.

Her rancor was poorly sourced. There were legitimately several things Cassandra could have been mad about, even directed at Rapunzel. But being mad at Rapunzel for Gothel choosing to kidnap her and abandon Cassandra was an unsympathetic way to go. She sang a whole song about not wanting to be second best anymore, about always waiting for her time to shine. But that entire story beat was thrown out the window in the face of "I am Gothel's biological daughter". She had one (1) glorious line of, "I'm not taking orders from you anymore!" and then all of that was put to rest in favor of, "My mom abandoned me, so I'm going to blame the abuse victim that she kidnapped."

She kept talking about her destiny, but didn't seem to have any goals beyond "be first over Rapunzel." She never even said what it was her "destiny" to do or be. She wanted to take over Corona? And then what? It's not like this was some long-standing desire of hers. Which leads me to

Cassandra spend the majority of her life defining herself as strong-willed, distrustful, and thinking for herself. But they decided that Zhan Tiri could get into her head as easy as that and start full-on manipulating her from the word "go," and that we'd all just handwave it away and accept that Cassandra was doing villainous things because she was being manipulated. Well, nay, I say. Cassandra was an adult with her own mind, and manipulation isn't as instantaneous as that. They didn't even try to portray it like they did with Rapunzel and Sugracha as complete magical mind control. No, it was Cassandra being given choices and choosing the things that would benefit her and/or hurt other people over and over and over again. But we're supposed to be sympathetic towards her.

She assaulted and kidnapped people, attempting to kill Rapunzel or at very least leave her for dead multiple times, then was surprised to find out she was the villain. And honestly, that surprise does a lot to make me dislike her villain arc. I love me a villain who thrives off their villainy, who revels in it, like she did at the beginning of "Cassandra's Revenge." And even villains like that can be redeemed. But people who choose violence and revenge and hate and are then surprised that they're the villain don't impress me.

Her redemption was rushed, crammed into the last twenty minutes of the series - her realization and apology was literally given about a minute of time - and she only realized she was wrong when she lost. Up until the moment Zhan Tiri wrestled the Moonstone away from her, Cassandra was convinced that she was going to win the day. As soon as she was powerless, she was sorry. And then, she was forgiven by everyone because she was forgiven by Rapunzel.

And things that don't go on the list because enough people disagree with them, or because they don't exactly line up with "why we dislike her villain arc" but are still things that bug me, personally:

That Gothel was her mother at all. I hate that plot point. It's stupid, lazy, and makes no sense.

That her arm getting burned and disfigured was just... dropped as a plot point. We don't know if having the Moonstone was supposed to heal it, or if she'd sufficiently rehabilitated it on the road enough for it not really to bother her anymore, but the showrunner literally said that they decided it wasn't important anymore, so dropped it.

#Tangled #Tangled the Series #Cassandra #TTS #Answered

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spearxwind · 11 months

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Hiya, I’d like to put some thoughts out there on my blog (my house) bc I need to yarf some intense feelings or I fear I will explode on a nuclear scale. This is about hollowridge (not in a negative light!! just explaining + reminiscing of old stuff and talking about new stuff. Pouring my heart out more than a little bit.)

I will put them under a readmore of course, this is PRETTY long winded, so you can read or ignore at your leisure -w-

I was in my adri tag a while ago looking for some images and ended up going through the whole thing and seeing the evolution of him as a character and HR as a story. Additionally, I recently organized my external memory where all my art files are stored and also saw my old stuff, old concepts, old documents with info and ideas, etc etc and like other times where I have looked through my old stuff I have been WRACKED with so many emotions about it. It’s always a dangerous game to go back into my folders/tags to look because I always end up feeling this whooole spiel all at once and very intensely.

Seeing my content shifts is jarring. Very much so. It always is. I don’t think I can pinpoint causes, some of my better creative highs were at really low points in my life, and then other times my creativity and worlds were subsequently really hardly hit during similar lows. I like to think that I am on the up now though, both mentally and creatively. I’m getting back into a lot of things I love, and I am surrounded by people who I love dearly and who love me back, and things in general are really good! I feel less… I wouldn't say wrathful, but way less frustrated when looking back at my old stuff and more inspired to go back to these concepts with a healthier more open mind + knowing that I have improved nonetheless.

Specifically for hollowridge. Hollowridge feels like a home to me, simple as that. It's something immensely dear to me and I think this is clear by how much effort I have put into it over time, not all of it well placed or with good results, but effort to make it the best that it could be (at best) and effort to keep it afloat (at worst). HR is a strange thing to look back on because it has gone through so many iterations that its hard to pinpoint just one when looking back, but there's a specific time slot (2017-2018 roughly… I’m not gonna check) that I believe is where it was at its best, and that is specifically the vibe that I am trying really hard to go back to with the newest iteration.

I’ve always struggled with it a lot, I've often voiced this publicly, or to friends who would hear my woes out (god bless them for hearing me go on and on about this like a bass boosted and emotional broken record), often because there was so many possibilities that I could run with and I had a lot of really, really conflicting ideas that I wanted to explore. I also had a lot of trouble with lore in general because for many years I was haunted by the absurd need to “make things make sense”, whatever that means. Having things grounded so that people wouldn't be able to poke holes into the watertight plot.. which I never achieved of course. It was less watertight and more of a welded together pringle shaped monstrosity (This was not only true for hollowridge, but was true for everything I have ever made. like in general. It’s been a consistent creative problem for me).

Eventually what happened iteration after iteration was that I throttled myself too much with rules, random limitations, all in favor of making something cohesive and deleting all the fun bits off the project in the process.

For this reason I also can’t just up and go “yeah i'm gonna turboscrap everything and go back to what worked in 2017” because it also DIDN’T work then. But that vibe specifically is what I am aiming for. The “classic” vibe, if you will (if that means anything to you as it does to me.)

What didn't work for me back in the day was giving everything a reason for existing, which is something I no longer wish to do (it’s better that way) and also something that failed back then both in HR, and in extinction (earlier drafts) and just about any version of a story I ever tried to make was THE SCOPE. It always spiraled out of my hands. God entities always escape me. Magic systems always escape me. How cities and such would be regulated in these scenarios escape me. Its just things I’m not comfortable writing about in general

So that’s why I have made changes to it currently (the whole lens of technology over it) because it makes it easier to think about, and easier to handle. Post apocalypses are fun to handle, and also easy to handle (for me, in this context). Technology going awry feels like its easier to think about than just vague “magic”, even if in the end the aesthetic looks literally exactly the same. Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense.

To give an example: Magic spells and circles → programs and code lines. That can be shot into machinery or meat (recodes your fucking genome in real time and gives you super brain hemorrhage idk). I guess it just gives my brain something to latch onto that isnt just vague rules of a magic system that could potentially be anything and everything? It essentially works the exact same way… its just the lens of looking at it is changed.

Mimics are their own thing now (nanotechnology, instead of vague.. shadow things). Adri is his own thing while still connected to mimics (an angel array made of the same stuff, instead of.. whatever else). Connected to the world. AND all the conflicting but dearly beloved concepts I had for him actually fit (snake, scarf, smoke, usurper of a body that is not his. Hey remember when he was made out of ashes/smoke and eventually out of goop. Well all of that is true at once now! It’s ALL canon! Bitch! The concepts have been reconciled!!)

There are also more “normal” creatures besides these, animals that have either evolved aboveground due to fit into new world niches (so I can design Whatever without being too limited) and there’s also machine/biomachine chimeras, and purposed grown organisms, and just Weird Shit made by machines in the belly of the earth (meat is just complex machinery. you know this. your heart is a piston and your blood gasoline. but I digress.) So I have the space to Get Weird if I so choose, on my own terms this time. And it will have a proper place in the world.

There used to be a lot of concepts that were cool that I missed a lot when I had to shift away from them. Like mimics infecting people and pretending to be them, and then being able to break the hosts bodies apart to make bodies for the mimic itself. That did not fly in pretty much 80% of the later versions of HR but I was able to bring it back for this one. I’ve tied mimics to the epidemic and to Adri in a way that MAKES SENSE but lets me go wild anyways

I guess… the short way of explaining is that. Instead of it being very vague supernatural stuff of dubious origin, now it's a ‘manmade horrors beyond your comprehension’ type deal (still of dubious origin). Which obviously neither the characters nor I would be able to explain to you the details of its origins but the distinction MATTERS to me (to my brain).

Something else about HR is that it’s made up of me having rounded up a bunch of ocs who’s stories were empty or were left to the void so that they could have a fitting home where they could shine. At the end of the day I just wanna do my characters justice. I don’t want to just relegate them to nice set pieces (even though they ARE cool set pieces), but each of them has years of backstory stuff that I would like to keep to not lose the essence of said character and its where I put the bulk of my writing effort into.

I want their connections to the story to be solid, but I also want their base vibes and the vibes I am familiar with for those characters to BE THERE too. So if I’m slow with revealing info, or writing in general, its literally because all the processing power in my skull is being used to think of how to best approach that and not just throw low quality spaghetti at a wall. (Sometimes the spaghetti method works very well, but often. It does not. And only makes things more complex in the long run, so I have learned to be more careful with it)

Dianne and Nirven are over 12 years old now as characters. That 's insane. And she still has the same core concept of how her magic works as I created it ages ago.

Same for Bei. He still has his same vibe back when I made him 10 years ago.

And Adam when I made him 9 years ago. Though I’m working out stuff for him still in this new edition, but I’ll get there. I promise.

Sooo……….. What I’m really trying to say is that I’m learning to have fun again. And at the same time (re)realizing I used to have some super swag ideas that I have never fully let go of that I am VERY adamant on keeping. And my aim is to go back to that unhinged unbridled joy of creating for a world that is just So Fucked Up but it Works somehow. And yeah, if you’ve ever been frustrated at my changes don’t worry: me fuckin’ too buddy. A thousandfold. And if you’ve ever been curious as to the why of everything, then I hope this rant serves as some sort of explanation?

So yeah, if you’re an old fan and missed old stuff, I hope I am able to do it justice once more and from now on. I promise I am trying my best, I always have been. It just works better sometimes. And if you are someone new and dont know what the fuck I’m talking about, 1. thank you for reading this far and 2. I hope you enjoy the ride regardless

And who knows…. knowing me in a few years I might see this all changed again. Or maybe this will be the one, finally, that sticks. We’ll see. At the moment like I said, I am focusing on loving my characters, their world, their and my original intentions, and just having as much fun as I can with it. If I create confusion in the process then that’s something I will have to accept. I’m not a big media corporation with a team or writers, or even just one (1) accomplished author with a huge brain. I’m not tolkien. I’m just some guy having fun with made up guys in my brain

Thank you for reading this far, if you did, if there’s anything you’d like to comment or discuss (if anything, I don’t expect it) please feel free to reply or DM me, I try to respond in a timely manner when possible <3

Thanks for sticking around too. It means the world to me that you have. Have a really good week, cheers

#thunderclap #the hollowridge disaster #i feel like i need to put it in the tag 😅 for safekeeping #drop a like if you read this if you please #it is currently two AM i should have gone to bed two hours ago but 1. i was hanging with a friend and had this mid writing #and 2. i felt like if i didnt pour my brain out I was going to toss and turn all night #anyway yeah i have a lot of baggage with this that ill never be rid of so like. i just want to do GOOD yknow? i just want to do good.#alex writes #not fiction but i do use some big boy prose I think. academic moment #errr....... im hoping this isnt a badly placed post oops. idk what i mean by that just [vague fear] idk #the mortifying ordeal of being misunderstood vs the mortifying ordeal of pouring my heart out to strangers #you know how it is

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quantumshade · 1 year

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hi, i have to ask about gay coded rose/ten because im INTENSELY curious. i just finished a rewatch of nine and ten and i'm just sitting here starry eyed through ur sped-up chalkboard-aided lecture. PLEASE, enlighten me

thank you SO MUCH for asking, i will take absolutely any excuse to talk about this :)

putting this under a readmore because it got LONG.

a lot of this comes from a video essay by verilybitchie that i highly, highly recommend--it's changed a lot about the way i look at rtd era as well as "representation" in general. my friend @regenderate has also made a couple really well-articulated posts on this topic

but to try and put it in my own words somewhat, the doctor and rose's relationship is defined by touch. from the moment he grabs her hand in the basement of henrik's, saving her life, all the way to doomsday, with, "still just an image. no touch", and then their jubilant hug in journey's end.

which reminds me--the way they hug is something that's always really struck me about the doctor and rose. they grab on to one another as if when they let go, they will drift apart--which is, of course, what happens.

and when you think about it, their desperation to hold on to one another, to hug, to hold hands, to touch, feels very, very significant when you remember that the showrunner is a gay man who lived through the aids crisis and writes a lot about it. as @regenderate points out, there are a lot of episodes in series 1 and 2 where touch is not only the problem, but the solution. the disease in new earth is spread through touch, but at the end of the episode, it is cured through touch, through these people who have never known a loving hand or a proper connection with another person hugging, shaking hands, touching each others' faces.

gay people are told to fear touch, that kissing and sex are sinful and unnatural, that holding hands with your partner or showing affection in any way in public could lead to one or both of you getting hurt.

the doctor and rose do not allow themselves to be together because the doctor knows he will outlive her and believes that giving in and being with her, allowing himself to be happy, will only lead to more pain for the future.

there are other things as well, like how the doctor, before eight, had never kissed anyone on screen before, and it wasn't something the audience was accustomed to. the doctor was often kept so nonsexual to the point where, while filming the five doctors, one producer asked carole ann ford not to call the doctor grandfather, because it would suggest that at one point, the doctor had fucked, and he didn't like that. rose is the blueprint, the archetype, for the nuwho companion. she is there to represent the audience, to challenge the doctor on his deep-set opinions, to grow, to be his equal. she had the task of easing an audience of both new and old fans into a world where the doctor can be a romantic figure. she had to change things, go against the status quo, and, in my opinion, she did that excellently.

similarly, when rose meets the doctor, she is deeply ingrained in everyday life, in a job she hates, in an incompatible relationship, etc, and meeting him shakes all of that up. staying home on earth, going to work, being with mickey, all of those are things are expected of her. (i fully believe she and mickey were only in a relationship together because they were childhood friends and they felt like they should be-- they are incompatible as a romantic couple, which is the point, even though fans are always determined to blame the failure of their relationship on one or the other, but that's a whole other post) meeting the doctor, traveling with him, it gives her purpose, and it allows her to grow into the person that she always could be. that's a big theme in rtd era especially--everyone has the capability for amazing things, and they can and will thrive when given the opportunity to as well as someone to believe in them.

but mickey is representing the "safe" option, of a normal, heterosexual relationship, the one that she is expected to be in. jackie is disapproving of rose's new lifestyle (not that she's invalid for those fears at all, i'm speaking metatexually here) and is constantly hoping that she will change her mind and return to safety because the last thing she wants is for her daughter to be in danger. but once rose sees what's out there, once she glimpses her own potential, once she--and bear with me here--exits the closet, she couldn't possibly go back.

from parting of the ways:

ROSE: But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed? Is that it? MICKEY: It's what the rest of us do. ROSE: But I can't! MICKEY: Why, because you're better than us? ROSE: No, I didn't mean that. But it was. It was a better life. And I don't mean all the traveling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away.

the final point i'll make here is that the doctor has been queercoded for a long, long time. they are neither straight nor cis. and thanks to billie piper sometime after jodie whittaker's casting, we know that rose would still be in love with 13 still, which i would have wholeheartedly believed regardless, but it's nice to hear it from the woman who played rose herself. even if they are visually/optically a heterosexual relationship, they really, really aren't, textually or otherwise.

this post got away from me. it got away from me bad. but this is something i think about a LOT. doctor who, and rose in particular, have been my special interest for a decade or so and as a dyke fan who spends a lot of time with other dyke fans, i have some pretty extensive thoughts on this kind of stuff.

uhhhhh feel free to shoot me a message if you have any questions, like i said i love love love talking about this!!

#thank you so so so much for asking ily <33 #doctor who #doctor who meta #rose tyler #doctor x rose #doctorrose #ninerose #tenrose #delia.txt #meta

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tinybro · 1 year

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thinking about jasico feat. that soulmate tattoo sleeve concept i posted about literally six years ago now, this got so long i'm just putting it all under a readmore to save y'all from having to scroll through it

the tattoos appear bit by bit in real time as someone's soulmate grows up and develop as a person, which means shit's wild when jasico-flavored. nico and bianca both grow up never developing any tattoos the whole time they're living in italy – bianca because she was fated to die young, and nico because jason's decades away from being born. it's not initially odd since people have relationships with age gaps, but the older they get without anything showing up at all the rougher it gets. they both get teased about being forever alone, or future cradle-robbers whose soulmates haven't even been born yet. it's part of why they were so close growing up. but then nico's develops rapidly towards the end of their stay in the lotus hotel, and by the time they get out of the haze of it he's suddenly got a partial sleeve.

bianca can't help but be quietly resentful. she knows it's not his fault, but she's just a kid herself, and they were in this boat together their whole lives and then suddenly her little brother has someone out there and she still doesn't. it becomes part of why she jumps on the chance to join hunters of artemis, eager for some space and rationalizing to herself that becoming immortal would mean she wouldn't be way older than her future soulmate.

meanwhile nico was distracted from bianca's frustration by the excitement of his new tattoo. it means he does have someone out there, someone close to his own age, and he obsessively studies his tattoo's imagery trying to see if it could be linked to anyone he meets. he gets his hopes up meeting percy, but they're dashed pretty quickly – his tattoo is all stormy skies and wolves and eagles, and try as he might he can't justify any of it as being related to percy. it's even more obvious much later when he finally gets a chance to see annabeth's arm and it's so clearly percy-themed. for a while he confusedly wonders if the lightning on his arm could be tied to thalia, and the thought of it is a little suffocating even if it should feel good to know he's "normal". but none of the rest of his tattoo seems to match her, thankfully, and she doesn't have a sleeve at all pointing to him either. for a long time, he figures his tattoos must be the frustratingly metaphorical kind and dismisses the obvious zeus connection.

jason, however, has a fairly developed partial sleeve of tattoos from the moment he's born. it's a little weird that it never changes at all – nico's development as a person is pretty much frozen in the lotus hotel – but jason spends his early years comparing the imagery to all the older campers, curious but never quite managing to link anyone to it. he knows right away that reyna couldn't be his soulmate, because they're the same age and whoever his soulmate is has to be at least 5-10 years older than him. he's still the popular golden boy of new rome, so he of course has other kids crushing on him that try to see themselves in his tattoos. the boldest ones try to claim a connection directly, but he can always shoot them down easily knowing the ages don't line up. and then when he's around 12, his forever-unchanged tattoo suddenly develops rapidly out of nowhere. images of some kind of playing cards appear in it, as nico discovers mythomagic soon after leaving the lotus hotel. ocean waves show up one day only to turn black a few days later. a silver arrow sneaks in soon after. then the imagery starts getting macabre pretty quickly – skulls and bones and graves take over most of it.

nico has an idea of what's up before he even meets jason – from the moment he's told about new rome and lupa and hears they have a son of jupiter, a lot of things feel very obvious. but he's still fighting all that internalized homophobia and feeling the fallout of his doomed crush on percy, so he keeps his mouth shut. he always wears his jacket anyway, and makes sure to wear long sleeves when it's too hot for the jacket. he keeps his tattoos hidden away, and no one's really close enough to ask about it besides hazel, who can tell it's sensitive and so doesn't pry.

but jason remains oblivious for a good while. the newer imagery on his arm has obvious pluto/hades vibes, but hazel or nico are both clearly too young for his false estimate of how old his soulmate would be. he doesn't hear about the lotus hotel shit until he's on the argo ii hearing stories from percy, and that's when he finally starts wondering.

#jasico #pjo #my dumb headcanons #aesthetic soulmarks AU

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