oh my gods it just hit me that ur talking abt subnautica bc you said it. i didn't Realize omg omg omg i LOVE subnautica and i just needed to come into your inbox and say: AMAZING taste in game, PHENOMENAL f/o taste as well. al-an is very cool!! i haven't looked at below zero (or anything subnautica, really) in a little while so i don't remember much about him but i do remember him being rly interesting!!

pls use this ask as an excuse to talk more abt him and maybe your ship with him if you want!!

OHH SUBNAUTICA IS SO GOOD, I JUST FINISHED THEM TODAY. Al-An is just....... so pretty. and so tall, like god damn hes like 11 feet, large boy. his voice is so soothing to listen to, so calm and soft. And his colors changing based on emotion? turning blue and pink around Robin/The player, the flashes of red while hes giving his backstory and explaining how things went wrong, its so neat how expressive he is. his little shrimp tail is so cute, I wanna mess with it and be annoying dggfdg Earlier in game, I started talking to myself as I played and i called him the weird dog who lives in my brain. he went very quiet afterwards, like, i found several artifacts and he Would Not Speak To Me. when he finally spoke up he told me to go somewhere that had a leviathan and i think that was on purpose. payback for calling him a weird dog dfghgfd.

but like, how genuinely curious and open to learning about humans he is throughout the game? and how gentle he is about it? he doesnt belittle or anything, just asks and tells a little about himself in return. he is TRYING to understand and relate to humans. hes just so genuinly nice and kind throughout the events of the game. and hes shows so much fondness, accepting help and being so trusting. hes so sweet, its cute. hes cuuute aaaa

Im not sure about what my ship with him would be like just yet, but he seems very patient. my s/is tend to be very "annoying on purpose" so thats good. small and >:3 energetic / big and patient dynamic, probably.

no one requested this one either but I know of at least 2 people ( @haydens-moles @iscariot-rising ) who will be happy it exists

still male reader x sam monroe (life as a house) 

part one here

The house was quiet by the time your sister and mom got home from wherever they were. They’d somehow missed Sam’s truck parked on the street, so didn’t know anything was unusual. Colleen, though, did notice an open beer sitting on the counter, and quickly Alyssa realized she needed to save you from a punishment by making sure you were awake and functioning by the time your mother decided to yell at you. 

So, being your sister, she threw open the door at six am and launched one of the couch pillows at your head. 

You groaned wordlessly, rolling over to look at her in the doorway. Sam, beside you, had a bit more coherent reaction, pushing himself up to his elbows after removing the pillow from his face. 

“What the fuck?” He said, and you saw it happen as Alyssa made eye contact with him, and figured out the implications of him, laying in your bed. With you. Both of you shirtless.

“Oh my god!” She shouted, and you finally had enough mental function to grab the pillow from Sam’s chest and hurl it at her, knocking her from her stupor. She took a step back and, apparently respecting your privacy all the sudden, closed the door. 

“What a nice wake-up call,” Sam said, earning him an amused exhale.

“That means mom’s gonna yell at me about something,” you said, your voice bounced just a bit by the mattress when he dropped from his elbows onto his back. 

“Is it me?” 

“Nah,” you said, a smirk pulling at your lips as you turned your head to look at him. “She’s used to her kids sleeping with you.” He didn’t seem to like that, though, and swiped his pillow out from under his head to smack it into your face. You laughed behind it, pulling it down toward your chest to look at him overtop of it. It was hard to believe that twenty four hours ago, you still couldn’t stand the sight of him. Now, you couldn’t stop staring. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, the words soft, accompanying the way you rolled onto your stomach and brought one hand to his face. He’d fallen asleep with his piercings in. “For trying to hit you.” The contented smile that was already on his face grew just a bit, into fondness, and you tracked as his gaze slipped over you, your collarbones, your lips, your hair.

“It’s okay,” he said, his right hand tracing over your knuckles on his face, and his left snaking under the sheets to find your lower back. “I did sleep with your sister.” With a little laugh, you dropped your forehead to his chest.

“Someday, we’re gonna have to stop talking about that.” You felt his fingers card into your hair, and you were content to stay there for, roughly, the next three years, but a knock at the door ruined your plans. 

“Yeah, I don’t know what kind of gay shit is going on behind this door,” Alyssa said through the wood, “but mom’s seriously going to be pissed with you when she gets up.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you shouted, lifting your head with a roll of your eyes. “I’m coming, relax.” For once, you didn’t throw the sheets open, as that would’ve exposed Sam to the cold air of the rest of the room, but instead slid out from under them. You tried to ignore him watching you while you got dressed, but the slight nervousness that it gave you definitely meant that you didn’t spend time picking out an outfit. 

You opened the door, surprised to find Alyssa right on the other side of it, leaning against the bannister, a smile on her face. 

“Piss off,” you said with a smile, not really meaning the words, closing your door behind you and brushing her off to get into the bathroom. She followed you, though, so it was probably good you didn’t actually have to piss. She watched you brush your teeth for a minute in silence. 

“Got something to say?” you asked around the toothbrush, but you knew why she was there. 

“You better tell me everything.” You rolled your eyes at yourself in the mirror, spitting out the toothpaste, deciding to torture her, just like she had you. 

“I mean, what’s there to tell?” You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to get out the knots. 

“The beer on the counter and two hickies I can see just over the collar of that shirt tell me differently.” Panic coursed through you.

“I never got rid of the beer!” You said, whirling to face her. 

“Yeah, which is why mom is pissed.” 

“Shit,” you said, cursing yourself for being so damn stupid. 

“Well, I don’t think she’s going to be super angry,” Alyssa said, following you down the stairs as you ran your knuckles through your palm, the morning chill in the house freezing your fingers already. “It’s Christmas break, and we’re in college. I don’t think she wants to be mad at us.” 

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one getting yelled at.”

“She might not yell at you while Sam’s here,” Alyssa suggested, and your gaze snapped to hers. 

“He’s not allowed to leave,” you declared, playing up the drama. The two of you were a lethal combination when you decided to fuck around together.

“Well, you’d better get on that,” she said, and you turned tail to bound up the stairs. Somehow, he didn’t hear you coming, and was halfway into pulling up his jeans when you entered, and it shocked him so much that he almost fell. You laughed, closing the door, and plunged the room back into the darkness of a blacked-out window. 

“Ayssa’s a pain in my ass,” you said, spitting out the first thing you could think of. You heard him laugh, god, what a wonderful sound, and as your eyes adjusted to the low light you could barely make out as he walked to you, trapping you against the door, kissing you. A welcome surprise. 

You brought your hands up, feeling first his ribcage, then around to his shoulder blades. He hadn’t yet put on a shirt, so you got to feel his smooth skin again, feel the muscles underneath, run your middle finger down his spine. 

He’d leaned forward to bring his lips to yours, his left hand on the back of your head, the other pressed to your chest, keeping you against the wall like you had to him the night before. 

You’d think, after spending the night with him, you’d be used to it. You’d be adjusted to feeling him touch you, feeling his hands in your hair, his knee nudging yours. You’d think you’d be familiar with the sounds he makes, whether he means to or not. You’d think that you’d be acclimated to feeling his breath move across your skin.

Nope. 

Every time he held you, it was new. Every grip into the fabric of your shirt was something you’d never felt before, every pass of his lips over yours was fresh. You could get lost here- against your door, your freezing fingers soaking up the warmth from his skin.

“Breakfast soon, (Y/N),” Colleen said outside your door, and you broke the kiss to respond, but you didn’t have the breath. Luckily, she just moved on, and you could thump your head back against the door. Now that your eyes had adjusted, you could just look at him, his hair so spikey, eyeliner smudged. You could bet that you’d find it all over your pillow. 

“Hey,” he breathed, and you laughed, pushing forward to give him a quick kiss, and how could you not, when his lips felt like that.

“Hi,” you whispered, a bright smile gracing your face. He leaned down to press his forehead to yours, his fingers just resting on your ribcage, your palms overlapping his shoulder blades. You could only let it rest for thirty more seconds before you nudged him away. 

“Put a shirt on,” you said, “before you come downstairs.” 

You were lucky the cold air kept the blush from your face as you faced your mother. 

It was a cereal type of morning, Colleen hadn’t known she had a guest. It seemed like she was about to lay into you when Sam came down, pulling his sleeve over his thumb to rub sleep-dust from his eye. 

“Oh, Sam!” Colleen said, rushing to get a glass of orange juice for him. “I didn’t know you were here!”

“Yeah, he slept over,” you said, not thinking anything of the explanation.

“Well,” Colleen said, “I’m glad you two are finally getting along again.” Alyssa started to laugh through her spoonful, for which reason she received a sharp kick under the table. 

“So, Sam,” Colleen said, “We didn’t plan on doing much today, but you’re welcome to hang around anyway.” 

“No, I’d better be getting home. I promised my mom I’d take my brothers to the movies today.” 

“Oo, can I come?” Alyssa asked, leaning forward to see him past you. 

“I don’t know, I already told (Y/N) he could come, and it’s gonna start getting cramped in the truck.” You didn’t know anything about being invited to a movie, but, hey. You wouldn’t say no.

“That’s fine,” Alyssa said with a smile, “I can ride in the bed.” 

“No,” Colleen said, but she knew that her daughter was joking. “If it’s that much a problem, Alyssa can drive you all in my car. If that’s alright with Robin.”

“I’ll ask when I get home,” Sam said, a smile on his face.

He left a few minutes later, waiting until your mother wasn’t looking before pulling you into one more kiss. You watched him go, leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over your chest. Once he’d gotten the truck started, you looked over at the house, the house that had changed the whole neighborhood’s lives. Like usual, you felt that niggling guilt between your collarbones that you hadn’t been there for him, when his dad died. 

“Close the door, loverboy, you’re letting in the cold,” Alyssa said, and you rolled your eyes, doing as she asked. She stood from where she’d been at the couch, and you saw it as she prepared to do- something? You could just see her energy rising. 

And she gave you a playful, but still forceful, shove to the shoulder.

“You finally got him!” she said, and you laughed, holding your shoulder as though she’d wounded you. 

“Yeah!” you laughed. She’d known about your crush on him the entire time you’d had it, she’d known about his crush on you that really kicked in over summer break. She’d kept her fingers away from it, but she really wanted to push you two together. That didn’t mean she had to be nice, though. She was your sister, after all. 

“Hey, just remember-” she said, smirking, “I had him first.” You laughed, turning to the stairs, making it to the first landing before turning to her with a bit of drama added to the spin.

“Yeah, but who’s more likely to keep him?” She held up her middle finger, and before you turned, you gave her your signature ‘fuck you, too’, which was a middle finger that you laid over your tongue. She always caught the subtext, whenever you whipped it out.

“Yuck!” 

-🦌 Roe

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: non-graphic mentions of masturbation; sexual situations and implications but no graphic depictions of sex; anthropomorphic/furry characters; tail kink; kissing; grinding; groping

Author’s Notes: Am I posting this weeks after the event already ended? Maybe. I ended up starting this piece when SquipJere Week was still happening before I fell out of my groove, so hopefully I managed to pick up where I left off well enough. This one’s a little spicier than the others, as you can probably tell from the warnings, hehe. Enjoy!

The SQUIP had been working long and hard to condition Jeremy to not think about sex nearly as often as he used to, and the fact that it seemed to be successful thus far in its efforts was nothing short of amazing. Jeremy had gone from feeling the need to jerk off every morning like clockwork to actually being able to get through an entire day without thinking about something lewd. The only time he ever got a pass was when he was with Brooke, but he hadn’t been seeing her much outside of school lately. She was just a stepping stone to get to Christine anyway, and while she was attractive and sweet, Jeremy wasn’t really all that into her. And that made him feel bad about using her as some kind of practice dummy.

“She’s used to it,” the SQUIP would say while squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “She’ll move on to someone else quickly enough. You don’t have to be concerned about hurting her.”

That didn’t really make Jeremy feel much better, but he had always been someone who worried constantly about what others thought of him or how they felt about things he’d done. It was a big part of why he’d gotten the SQUIP in the first place – no one would ever see him as anything more than the awkward cardigan-wearing loser who spent all his time playing video games and getting high in his only friend’s basement. Michael had always been perfectly content to march to the beat of his own drum and didn’t seem to really care about anyone’s opinions of him, and he seemed to just assume Jeremy felt the same.

But Jeremy yearned to be somebody. He didn’t want to just survive every day and wait for the next day to be exactly the same. He wanted to live and have a life.

And so the SQUIP helped him to thrive in all areas. He dressed better, he walked more confidently, he was doing well in school and in the drama club. He was getting closer every day to all the cool kids and Brooke seemed completely enamored with him.

Of course, he was still a teenage boy. And teenage boys had urges. And while Jeremy could rein in those urges when he was awake and alert, that most definitely wasn’t the case when he was asleep.

He hadn’t been thinking about anything particularly sexy in nature before going to bed – at least, he was pretty sure he hadn’t, or else the SQUIP definitely would’ve had something to say about it – but that didn’t seem to matter. The dream had started out simple enough. It was almost boring, really. He was lounging on his bed, playing around on his phone, with the SQUIP laying beside him and watching quietly. The SQUIP as of late had been indulging itself more in the simple pleasures of human life and seemed content to observe Jeremy just existing rather than criticizing his every thought and action. Ever since it had realized it may be able to feel and Jeremy had assured it that he did really like having it around, it had taken to merely being near him when things were calm.

But all too quickly, the dream shifted away from the PG. The SQUIP smirked and reached over to take his phone – something that dream logic apparently decided was a thing that the SQUIP could actually do – to set it aside, and then didn’t hesitate to climb on top of him and straddle his waist. The SQUIP felt surprisingly more solid than normal, and while it was normally a bit cold to the touch, it actually felt rather warm now, like it was flesh and blood and not just a projection from Jeremy’s mind.

There was soon a hungry mouth on his and they were kissing, Jeremy wrapping his arms around the SQUIP and curling his fingers into the back of its cloak. However, when he pulled back, he realized the face looking at him was not that of Keanu Reeves, but instead a rather well-endowed girl with big, unmistakably anime-styled eyes, shining an ever familiar bright blue. She had long flowing black hair and atop her head proudly sat a pair of cat ears, and the cloak Jeremy had been holding onto was replaced with a rather short dress covered in a circuitry pattern. And Jeremy was pretty sure he could see a long black tail waving behind her.

Jeremy gawked for a moment but he did seem to have enough brain power to comprehend that this was still his SQUIP – he remembered way back when it had said one of its potential forms for him was that ‘sexy anime cat girl with a tail’ – and that seemed to be all the go-ahead the SQUIP needed to dive back in and kiss him again. Jeremy felt like there was fire under his skin as he kissed back, one hand shifting down to toy with the SQUIP’s new tail, causing it to mewl into his mouth. And of course that only spurred Jeremy on more.

The dream only escalated from there. Clothes disappeared at some point and the SQUIP’s mouth was everywhere on him, skilled and teasing. Given that the SQUIP was in Jeremy’s mind, it of course knew all the right ways to get him to writhe and moan. It could have only been a few seconds or it could have very well been hours when the SQUIP finally climbed back into his lap, a grin on those feline lips, and sank down onto him.

Jeremy woke up choking out a gasp, gripping his sheets and realizing rather quickly that both them and he were drenched in sweat. He had to take a moment to catch his breath, feeling as though he had just run a mile, and when he noticed that his pajama pants were feeling rather sticky, he quickly realized what had happened.

“Oh my God…” he mumbled, rubbing his hands over his face before pushing back the hair slicked to his forehead.

“I see you had quite the dream.”

Jeremy yelped at the sudden voice, scrambling to sit up and ending up tangled in the blankets for a moment. He stared with wide eyes at the SQUIP – in its usual form, thankfully – sitting in his desk chair, glowing that gentle blue against the darkness of the room. It was the middle of the night, judging by the fact that it was still dark outside, as well. The SQUIP was grinning slightly at him, looking thoroughly amused.

Jeremy just blinked dumbly at it for a moment, his mouth dry. “D…did you do that?”

“Oh goodness, no, Jeremy. I may be inside your brain, but the subconscious is not a realm that I can delve into. It’s much too complex and I wouldn’t want to potentially damage your mind by interfering with it.”

“But…you still saw it?”

The SQUIP hummed. “Bits and pieces. And, well, clearly you have a pretty vivid memory of it, so…” Its grin widened a fraction. “I can see it all now as you think about it.”

Jeremy’s entire face burned and he quickly tried to put the dream out of his mind, although he knew how this worked – now that he was actively trying not to think about it, it would result in him just thinking about it more whether he wanted to or not.

“Are you gonna shock me or make me do push-ups?” he asked warily.

The SQUIP tilted its head to one side, gaze sweeping up and down Jeremy’s body in a way that made him swallow a lump in his throat.

“…I’ll let it slide this time,” it murmured, chuckling. It smiled at him again, waving a hand dismissively. “Change out of those clothes. You’ve soiled them.”

Face still feeling hot, Jeremy slid out of bed and went to grab a fresh pair of pajamas, trying to ignore how he could feel the SQUIP’s eyes still on him. He did take a moment to grab some tissues and clean himself up and soon enough he was changed, although he frowned as he looked back at the bed and realized his sheets were still soaked. He didn’t like making the bed on a normal day, let alone in the dead of night. He could probably just deal with it, or sleep on the couch, although the latter option would raise some questions from his dad in the morning – if he cared enough to be inquisitive, anyway.

“Whatever,” he sighed, pulling the blankets up so they covered the dampened sheets and he could lay on top of them. He shifted so he could flip his pillow over, as well, humming contently at the cooler side pressed against his cheek and closing his eyes. Everything was peaceful.

“Jeremy…”

His eyes shot back open when the SQUIP’s voice came out much higher-pitched and sing-songy than normal. He was about to sit up when he felt himself pressed back onto the bed, weight pushing against his shoulders and waist. The SQUIP suddenly appeared atop him, grinning wickedly as it took the form of the very same cat girl he’d seen in his dream. The only difference now was that its touch was cool against his skin rather than warm.

“L-Ly?” he managed, blinking up at his SQUIP with wide eyes. “Wh…what are you doing?”

It chuckled – more like purred, honestly – and leaned in close. “You keep telling me to find things that I enjoy,” it murmured, tail flicking in amusement. “And I’ve come to conclude that I do very much enjoy seeing you all flustered like this. Do you like this form of mine, Jeremy? We both know about your attraction to anthropomorphic characters and…well, I believe you also have an affinity for tails, right?”

Jeremy tried to say something, to retort, but he just ended up letting out a rather pathetic squeak because of course the SQUIP was right. Michael teased him all the time – lovingly, of course – for being a furry, and he was never going to let Jeremy live down that one time he’d accidentally admitted that he thought Thalia would look cute with a tail.

But the SQUIP had worked so tirelessly to keep Jeremy from doing anything that would incite sexual thoughts, and yet here it was, seducing him. Was it seducing him? Jeremy wasn’t completely sure he was actually awake yet, to be honest.

But even if the SQUIP wasn’t nearly as warm as it’d felt in Jeremy’s dream, this did feel much more real in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe it was simply because he was, in fact, no longer dreaming and his brain could better process the situation – although he definitely still felt like he was at a loss.

“I…” was all that fell from his lips when he tried to speak again.

The SQUIP grinned, eyes bright with amusement and mischief, and it closed the gap between them. The feeling of the SQUIP kissing him was tingly and, dare he say, electrifying. It wasn’t like kissing Brooke, which was all warm and wet and messy. Even while insistent, every move the SQUIP made was precisely calculated and its lips were still cool against his, firing off all the right nerves to make it feel like there was something actually there.

It was so obvious to Jeremy that he was kissing nothing more than a glorified figment of his imagination, like this was just another fantasy. But he didn’t care. He liked it. His chest bloomed with warmth and his stomach was doing somersaults, and he couldn’t help letting out a soft whine against the SQUIP’s mouth. He wasn’t entirely sure why the SQUIP was doing this or if this was all some elaborate trick, but he threw caution to the wind and gripped onto the back of that dress like he had in his dream, pulling the SQUIP more against him. Their chests brushed and the SQUIP’s hips slid against his in a way that made Jeremy arch up with a gasp, and the SQUIP didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to slide its tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. It was a little weird since it wasn’t wet and gross like a human tongue would be – Frenching was still something Jeremy was getting used to when it came to Brooke – but he could taste the SQUIP all the same.

It eventually pulled back and Jeremy sucked in a breath, having apparently forgotten that oxygen was a thing that he needed. The SQUIP looked entirely unfazed, still sitting triumphantly atop him with that wide grin. Jeremy’s chest heaved, his body growing warmer, and while he still wasn’t sure if this was some weird test, he gave in to his desire and tugged the SQUIP down again, kissing it once more. He felt the vibration of a chuckle against his mouth and for a moment Jeremy thought the SQUIP might just stop and leave him yearning, but then it was kissing back with just as much hunger.

Whining again, Jeremy let his hands drift down. He could feel the soft, silky fabric of the SQUIP’s dress as if it were really there, although there was a slight buzz at his fingertips, as if he was touching active wires. No one else would ever feel like the SQUIP, and that sent an odd sort of thrill through Jeremy. He couldn’t help wondering, in the back of his mind, if some people got SQUIPs for things like this. After all, if something was inside your brain, it knew exactly how to make you feel good, right? Although he supposed there were probably some drawbacks to SQUIPs only being able to project a holographic form. It wasn’t an actual, physical body like an android or something would have.

But those thoughts were hardly present in Jeremy’s mind as he lost himself in the moment. The SQUIP’s hips gave another teasing little roll that had Jeremy whimpering and on a whim he let his hands slip down to the SQUIP’s ass, wanting to pull on its tail.

So he had a kink. Sue him.

However, as he felt around, kneading at the soft skin, his brow furrowed when his fingers never found a tail. He pulled out of the kiss and opened his eyes, squeaking and turning bright red when he realized he was no longer looking that cute cat girl in the face, but instead a familiar Keanu Reeves lookalike.

The SQUIP, naturally, was still smirking like it was having the time of its life. “Problem, dear?”

“Y-you…” Jeremy tried, but he had no retort. He would’ve thought that the want – the need, nearly – to have the SQUIP close, kissing and touching it, would instantly fade away upon seeing the SQUIP’s usual form. After all, Jeremy saw it all the time and while it was an attractive face, it wasn’t one that Jeremy had thought about kissing – okay, well, maybe a couple of times, but that was just because his mind liked to imagine most things in a sexual way, horny teenage boy that he was. The cat girl had made him feel so many things and he hadn’t been able to help himself.

However, to his surprise, he found that even looking at this face he’d been seeing every day, 24/7, for the past few months, the urge to be close wasn’t going away.

“I…” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very small, his hands hurriedly falling from the SQUIP’s back where they’d been lingering. He shouldn’t be feeling this. He shouldn’t have felt it before even with the SQUIP’s rather sexy new form, but he definitely shouldn’t be feeling it now.

The SQUIP definitely sensed his hesitation and seemed to soften up a bit. Jeremy swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt a wave of calm wash over his mind and he sighed quietly, his muscles relaxing against the bed beneath him.

“There you go, love,” it cooed and, after giving Jeremy a moment to process, it leaned down to press their lips together again. This time it was gentler, more a brush against his mouth than a kiss proper, and Jeremy felt the weight against his waist lift slightly. Jeremy just lay there for a moment as the SQUIP kissed him before his eyes fluttered shut and he almost shyly kissed back, like it was his first time.

It only lasted a few seconds and then the SQUIP pulled back, shifting to move off of Jeremy and lay beside him on the bed. It gently ran a hand up Jeremy’s arm, and Jeremy felt the hairs there rise up at the cool, slightly static-y touch. “Are you alright?” it asked.

Jeremy blinked and ended up coughing out a laugh. “You’re asking that now?”

It frowned, eyebrows furrowing. It tilted its head slightly – analyzing, calculating, predicting. “…I apologize,” it murmured, still tracing along Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy almost wondered if it was fidgeting like that. “I suppose I got an…impulse and I got carried away with it. I shouldn’t have pinned you down. And I shouldn’t have kissed you or moved against you like that. It was highly inappropriate.”

Jeremy just stared. The SQUIP had definitely been acting more and more like a human lately as it explored what it wanted outside of just being Jeremy’s coach, but never had it sounded so ashamed, like it truly thought it had done something wrong. Jeremy’s mouth fell open slightly in surprise and he scrambled for something to say.

“I…I mean…” he started. “You…would’ve known if I didn’t want it, right? You’re in my brain. You…knew I was enjoying it.”

“I believe most would call that ‘taking advantage’ of you, Jeremy.”

“I could’ve told you to stop. Even if my mouth was, er, preoccupied, I could’ve thought at you.”

“Would you have done that, though?”

That had Jeremy faltering and he had to consider it. And he realized he wasn’t sure. Even if he had been uncomfortable, he’d been so overwhelmed by all the sensations the SQUIP was making him feel that he wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to properly convey that he didn’t want it. And even if he could’ve, he might’ve ended up being too afraid of the SQUIP’s disapproval that he wouldn’t have said anything at all and just let it happen.

The SQUIP, of course, could hear all of his thoughts on the matter and huffed softly. “Exactly.”

Jeremy’s brow creased. “You’re acting like I’m mad at you.”

“You should be.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m…confused, really, more than anything else.”

The SQUIP sighed. “I would imagine so.” It paused, processing once again. “…I’m honestly not…entirely sure why I did that. Like I said, it was an impulse.”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “But you always run predictions and stuff. You had to of seen what would come after if you acted like that. Was this…all because of my dream? Did it like, mess with your code or something because I dreamed about you?”

“You’ve dreamt about me before, Jeremy, that isn’t how this works,” the SQUIP scoffed, and Jeremy was glad that it was at least well enough to criticize his lack of knowledge about supercomputer pills. “…I suppose I wanted to tease you a little, as it were, about this particular dream, but that was all. I had only planned on changing my form for a brief moment, but once I was on top of you…” It trailed off and Jeremy felt a buzz at the back of his head that he was already learning to recognize as the SQUIP’s version of being flustered.

“…Yeah?” he prompted.

Its form flickered for a moment. “…Nothing else mattered,” it murmured. “Of course I saw the plausible futures. Of course I knew what a bad idea it was. But…I didn’t care.” Its expression twisted in frustration. “Why didn’t I care…? Am I defective?”

Jeremy wished he could answer, but he truly didn’t know. However, he’d learned a fair bit about the SQUIP in these last few weeks. Maybe he still didn’t completely understand how its programming worked, but he knew what he saw and he could sometimes feel things through their connection, even if it was difficult to discern exactly what it was he was feeling. And while Jeremy had never been the best at puzzles, he could still recognize patterns when he saw them. There were sensations he’d feel when the SQUIP seemed happier than usual, and on the opposite end of the spectrum there were things he’d feel when it was particularly agitated.

So, he had a theory. “Maybe you wanted it.”

The SQUIP blinked at him before tutting. “I’m a mach—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a machine, you don’t feel, you don’t ‘experience emotions’ like I do. You’ve told me that a gazillion times, but I’m starting to think it’s just bullshit.”

Jeremy almost laughed at how scandalized the SQUIP looked. “Excuse me?”

He sighed. “You obviously feel things, Ly. You sing because you think it’s fun. You get annoyed when you find stupid bugs in the video games you run around in. You like to poke fun at me and call me things like ‘love’ and ‘dear’ because you think my reactions are funny. So…so maybe you wanted to kiss me because, I don’t know, you thought you’d like it?”

The SQUIP’s gaze swiveled back down and Jeremy once again felt that buzz as it considered his words.

“…Did you like it?” Jeremy asked after he didn’t get an answer for a bit. It had definitely seemed like the SQUIP had enjoyed itself, acting like it owned him, but then again, the SQUIP also did things to experiment and test results, so it could have just continued on to see what would happen.

“…I did,” it finally said, whispering so quietly Jeremy almost swore he misheard it.

The buzzing at the back of his head was growing more insistent and Jeremy could tell that the SQUIP was trying to make sense of this entire situation. It was strange, because Jeremy figured that by now the SQUIP would’ve come to accept that its A.I. had evolved to the point where it could actually experience things similar to how a human could, since they’d had so many conversations like this before, but it seemed that it still had its limits on what it deemed acceptable. And while his SQUIP definitely had its quirks, Jeremy doubted that there was anything inherently wrong with it. After all, it scanned itself regularly for problems in its software, so it wasn’t that – unless something had slipped under the radar, but Jeremy doubted that, too.

Deciding to take initiative for once in his life – although he supposed he had the SQUIP to thank for that, with all its work to boost his confidence – he gently put a hand on the SQUIP’s cheek, turning its face to him. He was a little surprised that it actually worked, considering that he had no real control over the projection, but the SQUIP still blinked at him.

“Remember what you said, that you just acted without thinking about the consequences?” he asked. “We’ll worry about all this later, just…for now, go back to that. Do what you want to. Don’t think about what it all means.”

The SQUIP looked like it wanted to protest for a heartbeat but then its expression softened and it nodded, leaning in and kissing Jeremy again.

Jeremy, of course, gently pulled the SQUIP closer against him, glad when he could feel the press of its form against his chest. They both knew that this probably wasn’t wise of them and they’d have to really look more into it when they had the chance, but for now, Jeremy was content to focus on how nice the SQUIP’s lips felt on his and how good it felt to have those cool, strong hands on him.

And from the static against his mouth and the warmth in the back of his mind, he was pretty sure the SQUIP was okay with that, too.

FIC: Beneath an Aurora Sky ch. 17

Summary: The South Pole Station is equipped for research and Edge has always made sure things run smoothly for the inhabitants. His charges are meant to follow his rules and regulations, and in turn, he makes sure they survive in the arctic temperatures. It takes plenty of hard work and determination and Edge, along with his crew, can handle both.

He wasn’t counting on one of the newest researchers. He wasn’t expecting Rus.

Tags: Spicyhoney, First Time, Arctic AU, Hurt/Comfort

~~*~~

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve

Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16

~~*~~

Read Chapter 17 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Edge’s prediction that they’d be sleeping close in Rus’s narrower bed was proven very true, but so was his assertion that he wouldn’t mind. After they were done cleaning up the Rec room, their own mess and what the others left behind, they went back to Rus’s room to put his shower token to good use.

The bed itself was smaller than Edge’s and the mattress not quite as firm, but it had a definite bonus in that Rus was in it. Warm and sleepy, snuggling readily into Edge’s arms. Tired as he was, sleep did not come to Edge right away. He lay awake, quietly focused on listening to Rus breathe. He didn’t know what time he finally drifted off, but he woke when Rus’s alarm blared, or at least he thought it was an alarm. A loud male voice yowling out that it was ‘peanut butter jelly time’ certainly woke a person up. Edge might have leapt out of the bed and readied an attack if his limbs weren’t tangled with Rus’s.

As it was, Rus’s heartfelt groan was definitely a shared sentiment. He managed to free an arm from both the blankets and Edge, flailing out to find his alarm and turn it off. The clatter of it hitting the floor was a good indication that he was more invested right now in staying in bed than rising to face the day, and that was not an ideal that Edge shared.

He pressed a light kiss to Rus’s brow bone and murmured, “I need to get up.”

That got a reaction. Instantly, Rus’s arms tightened around him and through the muffling blankets came a surly, “no. you stay. here. ”

It was difficult not to smile. “I can’t. I have work. You have work.”

The wordless grumbles sounded less than enthusiastic at that truth and Edge decided to try a different approach.

“Breakfast will be ready soon,” Edge coaxed. “And as much as I don’t care about gossip, I would rather change my clothes beforehand.” Especially since they could use a good wash after that particular movie viewing.

A deep sigh came from the depths of the blankets, and finally Rus’s skull emerged from beneath the blankets like a creature from the deep, although his roar was more like a yawn. “okay, yeah, food would be good. lemme throw on some clothes and we can head out.”

The sensation of having Rus squirm free of the bed was a delightfully new experience, if an unexpectedly stimulating one, his bones scraping lightly against Edge’s in several rather sensitive places. They’d slept bare and a faint flush tinged Rus’s cheek bones as he stood by the bed in nothing but his own bones. Edge shifted to sit against the headboard to watch.

Rus paused as Edge made no move to follow him upright. “you gonna get dressed?”

“In a moment, thank you,” Edge said politely.

Rus’s mouth pursed suspiciously, his expression wavering between amusement and irritation, “are you really going to sit there and watch while i get dressed?”

“Yes.”

That blush brightened, a lovely honey orange, but his face settled on sweetly pleased, “heh, okay, but if you’re hoping for a reverse striptease, i couldn’t win a dance competition against a moldsmal.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Edge murmured, watching as Rus’s glossily pretty bones slowly disappeared beneath his clothing. The wriggle of his pelvis as he pulled up his pants, the complex shift of his spine as he slipped on a shirt. “This is perfectly fine.”

It was difficult to pull his gaze away from Rus to glance at the time, but Edge managed. Breakfast wasn’t for over half an hour. Hm.

“there!” Rus announced, sitting on the side of the bed to pull on his socks. “happy? now you can--eep!”

His startled cry was caught beneath Edge’s mouth as he was hauled back onto the mussed bed, but there wasn’t a single protest after surprise faded, only sweet enthusiasm.

The bed was quite a bit narrower than his own, but as it turned out, it was perfectly serviceable. For all their needs.

~~*~~

Despite Edge’s better intentions, they did end up a few minutes late to breakfast. All the researchers were already there and halfway to clearing their plates by the time Edge and Rus took their seats.

A few scattered greetings came their way, which he replied to in kind, along with Undyne’s smirk, which Edge resolutely ignored. Rus sat at his left on the end of the table to prevent a war of elbows while they were eating and when he boldly settled his right hand on Edge’s, those phalanges cautiously tracing his own, Edge simply turned his hand over and twined their fingers together.

He did not think of how little time they had left, focusing on the now. Tomorrow would have to take care of itself and while the sex was certainly enjoyable, very much so, this was very nice. Sharing the breakfast together that they should have had the first morning after, rather than painful arguments and accusations.

Thinking of which, it did not escape his notice that his brother’s chair was empty again. Something needed to be done about that.

Most of the researchers were already gone by the time they finished eating, though a few lingered, their laptops in front of them while they dawdled over their plates and coffee.

“Where are you off to today?” Edge asked as he and Rus washed their plates. The roster would clearly state where Rus was signed out to go, but he may as well simply ask rather than creepily slog through the paperwork.

“outpost #2 so i can pull the latest numbers,” Rus said, setting his dishes in the drainer. “be a couple of hours, then it’s back for calculations,” Rus heaved out an exaggerated sigh. “it’s a shame how much of astronomy is actually math. no one told me that when i was still in striped shirts. see ya at lunch, boss.”

His sockets widened as Edge leaned in, brushing their mouths together. “Be careful,” he murmured.

There was something charming about seeing him stunned by a simple kiss, considering what they’d done the night before. Rus swallowed hard and nodded, looking as if his skull was somehow wobbly on his vertebrae, then fled the room as if afraid Edge might try persuading him to stay. Or perhaps he was afraid he wouldn’t resist if Edge did.

Edge turned back to the table to find an entire studio audience watching, researchers and Undyne alike and every one of them wore an expression of great interest. He scowled at them, to no avail.

“If you don’t mind,” Edge said politely. One of the glaciologists,-- what was her name, was it Nadine?-- only beamed at him happily, for all the world as if movie night horror shows had morphed to an early morning rom-com.

“We don’t mind at all,” she grinned, but went back to her breakfast with a last sly glance.

Honestly, this was why relationships with the researchers was an awful idea. No one knew how to mind their own business.

Speaking of which.

Edge waited until after the others left, then headed into the kitchen. As he wasn’t given a ‘special plate’ today, he could only assume he was reasonably forgiven. But recent events were proof that assumptions only led to trouble and he honestly liked Bonnie. She was a private person and often kept to herself, but she was a very important member of their team. They’d always had a certain comradery that Edge found he was missing.

He found her at her workstation, ingredients laid out around her. Lunch often included some kind of soup, warming and filling, and she was dicing up root vegetables before tossing them into a large stock pot.

She pointedly ignored Edge even though he was standing well within her field of vision. He waited patiently until she sighed and laid her knife aside, her chin raised as she met his scarred gaze with her own.

Anyone who believed that speaking in hands was blandly impersonal was one who needed a great deal more experience in the language, because there was remorse in every word Edge signed, I know you were angry with me. I am sorry.

Bonnie’s mouth pursed, her good eye hooded as she looked at Edge consideringly. He wondered how much she knew about the argument, though he wouldn’t be surprised if she had a damned transcript of it. One couldn’t spend as much time around Red as they all did without picking up a trick or two.

Her hands were slow, reluctant, as she signed, He’s young.

That held an implication that he didn’t care for; Rus was no child or even a virgin, by his own word. By the name of the cursed dead King, he was working on his damn PhD. Edge forced himself not to bristle as he signed curtly, He’s no younger than I am.

That didn’t seem to be the answer she wanted, her frown deepening as she glared at him. You are older in knowledge! Bonnie signed agitatedly. He doesn’t know many things. He has a good soul.

That much Edge could agree with. He does.

He should stay here. Safer here than out there.

Ah, and there was the crux of it, wasn’t it. He didn’t know what she’d been through, what she’d suffered. But he did know that Buns usually came from very large families, many generations living together, and Bonnie had come to them alone. She’d kept her distance in one way or another for the entire time she’d been here, but something about Rus broke through her reticence and pulled the familial urges she’d set aside years ago to the fore.

Carefully, Edge signed, He can’t.

He could! You tell him to stay! Accusingly and there was a temptation that did not need to be considered.

He is not that young, he can make his own choices. As gently as he could, his fingers moving like falling petals. He deserves sunshine.

She blew out a noisy breath, seeming to realize there was no point in arguing. She turned back to her chopping but before she picked up her knife, she reached out and grabbed another cutting board, slapping it down on the counter and signing curtly, Help me dice the potatoes.

Allowing himself a faint smile, Edge began rolling up his sleeves.

~~*~~

Lunch was well underway by the time he left the kitchen, soup bubbling in the pot and bread dough set at the back of the counter to proof, a tacit indication that he would be welcome back that afternoon to help with kneading.

There was one more thing that needed to be done before he could start on the mountain of paperwork waiting for him.

Bonnie hadn’t offered a single comment when Edge left her to lunch preparations and began making sandwiches despite the still-early hour, smearing on plenty of mustard atop the leftover meatloaf. What she had done was disappear into the pantry, coming back out with one of her smaller canning jars that was filled with the pickles she made from the little cucumbers that grew in the hydroponic gardens. Red was particularly fond of them and the two of them had a lively ongoing battle of him stealing jars whenever he could sneak one while Bonnie came up with new and sometimes bemusing places to hide them. Edge still remembered finding one buried in the middle of a large bag of flour, carefully wrapped in plastic and nestled inside.

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed Red was skipping meals and no matter how annoyed she might be, Bonnie had her own ways of showing she cared.

Edge added several pickles to the plate before carrying it off in the direction of the living quarters, to a door that was the furthest possible from the researcher’s quarters without physically being in another building. The lock was changed frequently, but Alphys made sure to give him a new key just as often. She refused to keep one for herself and at least one of them needed to be able to go in without breaking down the door, if only for safety reasons.

Edge knocked once before unlocking it, saying loudly enough to be heard through the door. “I’m coming in.”

There was no response, but he truly hadn’t expected one. He took a deep breath, let it out, and opened the door.

His brother’s room was more like a cave than living quarters. He didn’t have a bed frame, only a bare mattress laid out on the floor covered in an overflowing pile of blankets and pillows. If Edge’s room was sparsely furnished, Red’s more than made up for it with sheer masses of clutter. Shelves filled with gewgaws and machine parts, one shelf was entirely filled with dusty shot glasses from every gas station they’d ever visited while they were living amongst the humans.

Another was filled with circuit boards, switches, and gadgets. Edge couldn’t begin to guess at what any of those little devices did and it usually seemed safer not to ask.

His brother was sitting at his workbench, the lamp there was the only light in the room, casting him in a sodium-yellow glow. His knit hat was off, revealing the full extent of the damage still on his skull. To Edge’s knowing eye, they looked a minuscule amount better after his last healing treatment. A few more and the bone would be healed. Any other healing would simply take time.

Red didn’t look at him, his attention on whatever he was working on. Edge watched him work for a moment, nimble fingers flying over whatever he was creating, tiny screwdrivers and tools chosen and then returned to their chosen spot. The rest of the room might be disordered chaos but his workbench was pristine, a place for everything and everything in its place.

It was honestly relaxing to watch, but Edge was here on a mission. He set the plate at Red elbow with a deliberate thunk. “You weren’t at breakfast. Or dinner last night.”

“i ate,” Red grumbled. That didn’t stop him from picking up one of the sandwiches, stuffing half of it into his mouth in one bite. Through his mouthful, he said even as he chewed, “saw you and the fashion victim are back on.”

“Yes,” Edge agreed, warily.

Crumbs fell to the floor, mustard smearing Red’s teeth, but despite his messy habits, Red kept back from the small device on his worktable. Red wasn’t the scientist Alphys is, but he was an engineer in his own right and he kept most of the machines and vehicles in top working order. None of the researchers here knew that Red had his own PhD, none of them realized the brilliance held in his small body and that was the way Red preferred it.

But Edge knew. His hand itched to stroke over that cracked skull, to take reassurance in knowing that his brother might not be quite whole but neither was he about to fall apart. He resisted the urge; Red likely wouldn’t appreciate it and he wanted his brother to eat.

Which he was, watching Edge suspiciously through the corner of his socket as he started on the second sandwich. “been thinking about what you said about your honey. about if i knew what he’d been through.”

Of course he had. “I also said to leave him alone,” Edge sighed.

How convenient that Red ignored that. He’d discovered the offering of pickles hidden behind the bread and the last sandwich was abandoned half-eaten as he snatched up the entire handful, popping two into his mouth at once as he spun his chair around to face Edge. “ain’t much in the information packet he gave us, you know. address is in ebott, goes to the university, no surprises there. so i hacked into the embassy records to get a better peek.”

“You what??” Edge sputtered. He swore his soul went still in his chest, skipping an entire beat, “the point is to not draw their attention, what were you thinking?”

Red’s easy grin did not fill him with any sort of confidence. “relax, this ain’t my first rodeo. i know how to cover my tracks and his file was easy to find.” He leaned in, pickles forgotten as he said, low, “bro, he didn't exist until two years ago.”

“What do you mean?” Despite his intentions, Edge was reluctantly interested.

“he didn’t exist,” Red repeated, “nada, nothing, no info from the underground. monsters have been up on the surface for four years now and change. so where did he come from before he showed up in Ebott two years ago and then took the long way around to our front door?”

Where, indeed. But for all his affinity for puzzles, this was not one Edge was interested in answering. “I don’t care.”

“boss—”

“I don’t care!” Edge insisted. “Brother. Please. He’s not stealing, he’s not sneaking around. If he’s hiding from something, it’s not on our account. Let him be.” He could see Red’s protests bubbling beneath the surface, his brow bone lowering, and Edge added, softly, “I’m asking you to let him be. Let me be happy with him while he’s here.”

It was a low blow and Edge knew it, watched the emotions fluttering across Red’s face until he looked away, stuffing the last pickle into his mouth and mumbling messily around it, “okay, boss. i’ll let it go. where is he, anyway?”

There was no reason not to tell Red, not when he could simply check the roster. “He went out to outpost #2, he should be back for lunch.”

“then i’ve got some time,” Red wiped his hands on his shorts and spun his chair back towards the table. “hit bricks, kid, i can’t think with you staring through the back of my skull.”

The thoughtless joke made Edge wince; once he would have been able to see through the back of Red’s skull and even if that horrific damage was mostly healed, he did not appreciate the reminder. He gave in his clamoring urge to settle a gentle hand on his brother’s skull, lightly tracing the remaining cracks.

Beneath his touch, Red stilled, then blew out an impatient breath, shaking him off. But it was gently done. “get your worry fondles in later, i’m busy.”

“Yes, boss,” Edge said lightly, teasing, and Red snorted loudly.

“don’t even fucking think it, that’s a threat and a half. i ain’t getting cursed being in charge of all these asshats.”

“I’ll see you at lunch?” It teetered between order and question.

“if you get out and lemme finish this, you will. Beat it.”

Edge reclaimed the plate and did as he was told. His soul felt lighter than it had in longer than he cared to remember, and despite having just eaten, he found he was looking forward to lunch so that he could spend a little more time with the cause of it.

~~*~~

That lightness lingered as he did his paperwork, surging when the lunch hour came and he went to the dining hall to find Rus already there. He was immersed in his laptop and only offering a quick, distracted smile, but even that was warming.

All the researchers were in attendance along with Undyne and even Alphys, all gathered in one moment of seemingly perfection. Until Red came in, pushing open the door so hard it knocked into the wall behind it.

His knit hat was pulled down over his skull, his sunglasses abandoned for once and a hush fell over the room as he stalked right up to Rus’s seat.

Who didn’t even notice until Red was standing right next to him, flailing back in surprise as he looked up to find crimson eye lights far too close to this own. Edge hastily caught him, steadying him before he tipped backwards off the bench. Red only waited patiently as Rus settled back into his seat and then set a device right next to Rus’s plate.

“heya,” Rus said, warily, and that he would speak to Red without anger or accusations settled some of Edge’s churning worries. He wouldn’t have blamed Rus if he’d chosen to stay away from Red for the rest of his tenure and Edge wouldn’t make excuses for his brother nor ask for apologies, but he...he cared for both of them. He didn’t want hatred between them.

“here,” Red said gruffly. It was what he’d been working on that morning, Edge realized, an unremarkable black box with what looked like several USB ports and a few dials. “should help you get your work done a little faster. hook it between your laptop and the telescope, and you’ll be able to run your calculations while you’re stargazing or whatever it is you’re doing.”

Rus picked up the box, turning it over in his hands first with caution, then disbelieving wonder, “that…that adapter costs a fortune, how did you—thank you,” Rus said dumbly.

Red lifted one shoulder in a shrug and hopped into his own seat, reaching for the serving spoons. His disregard didn’t stop Rus’s from blathering on excitedly, his smile bright, and Edge only watched, a smile of his own only barely held back.

“did you make this?” Rus demanded, holding it out, and Red shrugged again.

“something like that. ain't too bad with my hands, fashion victim.” Rus didn’t react to the nickname, only smiled happily, and it was obvious that even without the words the apology was given and accepted. Around them, the conversations slowly resumed while Rus inspected his gift, mumbled beneath his breath about calculations, his own plate forgotten.

“seriously, though, this is amazing!” Rus laughed. “my bro would flip over this, dings is always fighting for funding, he ends up making his own gear half the time, too.”

“dings?” Red’s head jerked up like a wintry prairie dog, mashed potatoes falling messily from the sagging spoon to his plate as he stared at Rus with shrunken eye lights, “your brother is wingdings?”

“um, yeah,” Rus agreed, some of his delight fading as he looked at Red with understandable wariness; he and Red hadn’t been besties even before the incident and there was no mistaking his shock.

“wingdings gaster?” Red said in disbelief.

“you know my brother?” Rus’s confusion only deepened, his pale eye lights flicking from Red to Edge, who could only shrug. The name wasn’t familiar to him.

“i ...guess maybe i do,” Red said slowly. His tongue flicked out over his teeth. “didn’t know he was your bro. how’s old dings doing, anyway, it’s been a while.”

“fine, i suppose,” Rus glumly. His eye lights drifted down to his own bowl where he stirred his soup listlessly. “we aren’t really talking right now, he wasn’t happy about me coming here.”

“heh, that sounds about right,” Red chuckled. To Edge’s hearing, it sounded forced, strain leaking through. “sorry to hear that, bet you don’t even have a picture of him to keep you company.”

Rus laughed and shook his head, “you’d win that bet. he never shows up right in pictures, something about his magic messes it up, doesn’t matter if it’s old school film or the latest iphone, he looks weird.” He hefted the device again and his smile was easier, filled with gratitude. “anyway, thanks again, this’ll speed up my calculations a lot!”

Red’s smile eased into something more genuine. “No problem, kid.” he jerked his head towards the door, “go give it a try, i’ll take care of your plate for you.”

Rus only hesitated a moment before hastily gathering up his laptop. He only paused when he turned to Edge, eye lights flicking to Red, but he still leaned in and took a light kiss, sweet and devilishly tempting, before fleeing out the door with his arms filled with his laptop and the little device in hand.

Edge watched him go, then wordlessly turned back to his own plate. Eating calmly, waiting until the last researcher left him and his brother alone.

The moment the door swung shut behind the back of the last one, Edge spoke, quietly, “You know his brother?”

Red nodded, slowly, and his expression was not one that Edge liked, strangely agitated, “yeah, but. somethin’ ain’t right here, boss.” He licked his teeth again, eye lights sliding aimlessly around the room, lingering over nothing as he whispered, “wingdings gaster is dead. has been for years, what the fuck is going on?”

Dead. That was a puzzle that could not be ignored. Edge closed his sockets, pressing a knuckle between them where a headache was starting to form.

“Could he have faked his death?” Edge asked, clipped and low, “That would explain why Rus only showed up in the radar recently, if his whole family was in hiding.”

“faked falling into the core?” Red chuckled unpleasantly and shook his head. “don’t think so. look, i know you like the kid, hell, i like him, he’s got jokes. and i’m sorry i hurt the kid before. but there is something fucked up going on here, bro, and i ain’t so sure rus is the one hiding anythin’. we can’t ignore this one, let me check into it. ”

Rus’s tearstained face, pleading his innocence to them. Begging for their trust.

That headache loomed, throbbing in Edge’s skull, “You bring anything you find to me, first. All right?”

“yeah, you got it. we ain’t going through a redo,” Red pushed back from the table and stood, saying with as much gentleness as Red possessed, “there’s more than your love life at stake, boss.”

“I know.” But if things went poorly this time, Edge didn’t expect forgiveness again.

His brother walked out, leaving his own plate along with Rus’s for Edge to wash, but he did not care. It was a simple, mindless task that was not enough of a distraction, not at all.

One day of simple happiness was all he’d gotten and Edge wondered with helpless, dark humor if it was worth it for a few weeks of Rus in his arms.

His answer came in a memory of that morning, of Rus’s soft cries and delightful sweetness as they made love. The smiles he offered Edge, the wonder in his expression as he gazed up at the aurora as it danced across the sky. Worth it, Edge decided, and he offered a silent, foolish prayer to an Angel he didn’t quite believe in that his brother found nothing.

“Please,” Edge whispered to no one at all. There was no answer, but that was all right. It was exactly what he expected.

tbc

Never The Friend (one-shot)

Synopsis: The Reader has always been in love with Bucky, as he has been with her, but neither ever made a move. So when Bucky brings home a new girl, the Readers takes drastic measures to protect her already broken heart, but what will Bucky do to regain the person who he truly loves?

In The End (one-shot/ follow-up)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (or my shitty attempts at writing it; first-timer, so please be gentle); unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys); swearing; brief crossover with Criminal Minds (aka, Spencer Reid is involved)

Genre: angst

Word count: 7349 (boy, this gon be a long ride)

   “You gotta tell him.”    “Tell who what?”    “Bucky! You have to tell him how you feel.”    Y/N’s eyes almost bulged out of her head.    “Wanda I love you like a sister, but mention this topic once again and I’ll put your heard through a wall.”    “If you don’t, then he’ll just start dating someone and you’ll be miserable.”    “I already am and by the way- that is how crushes work. You fall for someone way out of your league, they don’t feel the same, you die alone with twenty cats and then they eat your body. Simple as that.”    Wanda huffed, exasperation clearly evident in the puff of air, but there wasn’t anything she could do to make Y/N tell the man she was in love with how the girl felt. The Scarlet Witch had been watching her best friend pine over the man for far too long and she knew that Bucky was absolutely in love with the girl, yet he did nothing. So Wanda had hoped that maybe Y/N would gather up the courage and make the first move, but as it would appear, that would not happen anytime soon.    “But, Y/N, he is crazy about you.”    “Who is crazy about Y/N?” Bucky snapped the two girls out of their conversation as he appeared in the common room.    “No one,” Y/N was quick to dispel any implications. She took a sip of her wine and threw Wanda a warning glance.    “Okay then,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Anyways, I just wanted you to meet someone.” Suddenly the noise of clicking heels invaded Y/N’s and Wanda’s senses. A gorgeous brunette appeared behind Bucky. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he mimicked the action while a dazzling smile stretched his face.    “Y/N, Wanda this is my girlfriend Diana. Diana, that is Y/N,” he gestured at the girl who had a tightlipped smile and a heart that was shattering in pieces, “my best friend and that is Wanda- a chick you really don’t wanna mess with.” He once again threw the girl that brilliant white smile, making Y/N’s heart clench even more.

   “Yup,” the redhead piped up, scarlet swirls weaving around her fingers. “And just as a precaution- if you hurt anyone in my family, I‘ll end you.”    Diana looked incredibly nervous, but she masked it with a nod of her head and a small laugh. “Duly noted.”    “Come on, Wanda,” Bucky pulled the brunette’s body closer to his own. “Don’t be mean and make me regret introducing someone I care about to you bunch.”    “Wan,” Y/N’s voice made her look over to the Y/E/C eyed beauty, hidden pain laced in her words and shining through her eyes. Pain only Wanda noticed as it wove its way through her heart and interlaced the broken pieces. “Be nice.” She turned her gaze to the woman. “It’s really lovely to meet you, Diana.”    Y/N smiled, but the witch saw through the facade. And anyone else but Bucky would as well.    “Thank you, Y/N. That’s why you’re my favourite.” The man smiled at the fellow Avenger.    “Really? Are you gonna break Steve’s heart like that?” Y/N sipped on her wine, letting the bitter taste make its way down her throat and fill her veins.    Bucky threw his head back in mock frustration. “Doll, come on.” He detached himself from Diana and leaned down by the sofa, grabbing Y/N’s palm in his. There was a sweet smile playing on the brown-haired beauty's face as she observed his interaction with the most important people in his life. “You know you are my number one. My favourite. My best gal. Steve- he has nothing on you. He means nothing.”    Y/N decided to play along even though every word out of his mouth was like a knife in her already demolished heart. “I don't know, Buck. You two seemed pretty cosy yesterday. And watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine without me… that’s just the highest degree of betrayal.”    “He made me, doll,” he kissed Y/N’s palm sending every atom in her body ablaze. No, she scolded herself. I have no right to feel that way. He’s not mine to love…    “What about this- tomorrow, after me and Diana get back from our date, we rewatch every season and every episode?”    “Sorry, I can’t. Clint, Na and I are going on a mission. Probably won’t be back for a couple of weeks at least.”    “How- how come I didn’t know about this?”    “You didn’t come to the briefing this morning.” The girl shrugged and chugged down the last of her wine. Wanda gave her a pitiful smile to which Y/N replied with a small shake of her head. The girl's hand almost shook as she reached for the dark bottle and refilled the glass. The liquid poured out like blood spilling from a body. The same way her heart was bleeding out.    “Maybe next time, Buck.” Y/N didn’t even look at him as she said that because in truth there would be no next time. Not after this. Even looking at him had already become unbearable. She’d just have to find a way to avoid Bucky. Maybe even for good.

   “It’s probably not permanent.” Nat tried to console the girl.    They had just finished the mission and after almost a month of gruelling fighting and laying low they were on their way back. It had dragged to two weeks at first, then into the third one and then finally the fourth and last one, unpredictable complications making it way harder than it should've been.    “Nat, have you seen the way he looks at the girl? It’s like she’s the reason the universe exists. She makes him happy. So why wouldn’t it be long term? Besides, it has nothing to do with me. He is a free man who can do as he pleases.”    Clint glanced over his shoulder form the copilot’s seat, throwing his fellow assassin a look.    “Guys, seriously. Stop it. He… he’s happy and that is all that matters.”    “Yeah,” the archer stood up and went to crouch down beside Y/N pulling the first aid kit out and finding disinfectant, pinchers and a thread. “But he’s not with you.”    “Can’t really help that, can I?” Y/N mumbled a reply before a hiss went through her clenched teeth. The metal dug deep into her skin as Clint fished for the bullet in her leg. With one fast movement, the cone-shaped piece was out and a white cotton rag to soak up the blood was placed on the wound.    The two Avengers looked at the girl. Throughout the whole mission, she had definitely been off. It wasn’t the bubbly youngster that threw jokes at the most inappropriate times, competing even with Stark for the title of the biggest wisecrack. This woman was a dull version of who everyone loved. It was like her world was now in muted colours, and the vibrant sounds were distorted, but most importantly- her light, her Sun had gone out and the universe was doused in darkness.    Y/N didn’t even flinch as Clint pushed the needle through her skin as if all the pain had gone to her heart and she could no longer feel anything else.    “Y/N,” Nat pushed a strand of her Y/H/C hair away from her face. It was matted and covered in the same scarlet substance leaking from her flesh.    But she just pushed the other woman away. “Don’t. Just, please, don’t. I need to get over him and you ain’t helping.”    No one knew what to do. No one knew how to fix what Bucky had broken.    It took them nine hours to get to New York. Nat decided to take a nap and Y/N tried to follow suit, but sleep didn’t come. It hadn’t for a month now. She laid in her bed, eyes trained on the ceiling and contemplating her feelings. How can one person turn someone’s world around so completely that when they find someone else who they fall in love with, it becomes like one’s soul has been ripped to shreds and laid for wolves to feast upon?    When they landed, Y/N gently shook Nat awake and helped the sleepy Avenger out of the plane. At this point, she didn’t feel the burning of the bullet hole. But oh, how she wished, for it would’ve been better than seeing Bucky’s relieved face and feeling her heart clench with longing at the sight.    “Oh thank, God, you’re okay.”    His large arms swept Y/N up, engulfing her in a giant hug, their bodies moulding together like they were made for each other.    The girl awkwardly patted his back, retreating to the cold nature she had decided to put on where Bucky was considered.    “I’m fine, Buck. You didn’t have to worry,” quickly she pulled back and started walking to her room. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired and I wanna go to bed.”    Bucky called after her, but the girl paid him no mind. The cut had to be swift, clean and easy, otherwise, she didn’t think she’d be able to keep it together.

   And that’s how it started. She skipped out on their movie nights, rather spending time with Pietro and Wanda. She shut him down when he offered to take her out for pizza. Y/N even stopped recommending him books, leaving the man to his own devices.    But as much as she pulled away, he seemed to be doing just fine, which Y/N supposed was a good thing for his and Diana’s relationship. They were now three months in and happier than ever. The girl wasn’t hogging his time anymore, so he was able to spend it with the woman he was in love with.    To Y/N’s disappointment that also involved letting Diana come to the tower and hang out with the rest of the Avengers, but whenever that happened, there was this certain feel in the air, a wave of tension that rippled across.    Y/N didn’t mention it, she didn’t say it, though after one night when Bucky had decided to walk Diana home, she stood up and gave everyone a talk.    “I don’t need you guys to hate the girl. Did you see how uncomfortable she looked?”    “So?” Tony piped up, a glass of whiskey in his hand.    “So? Look, guys,” Y/N sat down, head in her hands, “Bucky is happy with her. And that is all that matters. Not me or my feelings. He does.” The girl looked over at Steve, who had his lips pursed as he did not agree with his friends choice. “He. Is. Happy. And what you’re doing every time she comes over makes me feel even shittier, because guess what- me and Bucky- we’re near gonna happen. He has made it clear by now that it won’t. He’s in love. And Diana seems really sweet. So please, don’t do this to them because of me. I’ll be fine. Eventually…”    With that, she stood up and walked to her room.    Throughout the whole thing, not one tear had rolled down her cheeks, not one night had been spent crying her heart out, but it would seem that that had come to an end.    With a broken sob, she clutched a palm over her mouth and slid down the doors. She spent her whole night like that- arms woven around her waist and legs pulled to her chest, letting salty pearls slip down and dampen the carpet. When the first morning rays broke the black-blue sky, only then did Y/N gather herself, stand up and went to the shower.    She turned it to the hottest setting, the water scorching her skin, and burning the tears away. She would cry no more, for it was her own fault she had fallen for her best friend.

   Time passed but it didn’t become easier. Not one bit.    Every time the couple was around, it was like he found more and more ways to shatter the pieces that once made her heart a whole. But the biggest punch wasn’t even that. It was when he forgot Y/N’s birthday. Yeah, she maybe hadn’t been the warmest towards him or the best friend he needed, but this occasion was the one thing she counted to have her whole family around, Bucky, hell, Diana included.    But when his chair stood empty, plate and cutlery unused, Y/N simply stood up and walked out of the dining room. No Avenger tried to stop her.

   Diana and Bucky had now been together for almost five and a half months. It was torture, looking at the man Y/N was absolutely and utterly in love with being happy with someone else.    She was cuddled up with Pietro, the plasma TV playing the intro to ‘Friends’ as the pair just laid there. The speedsters fingers wove through the girl’s hair, a soothing motion that somehow did the trick of calming her mind at least for a bit.    “You okay, princessa?”    Y/N huffed, pulling Pietro’s body closer to hers, a hand wrapped around his waist, needing the comfort.    “Honestly… no. I don’t know if I can take it much longer. It just… it’s too hard.”    A single silent tear splashed onto his white T-shirt, instantly turning the material grey.    He hated how withdrawn Y/N had become, despising the state Bucky had put her in. She had been there for the silver-haired man more than anyone, apart from Wanda, of course. He even saw Y/N as a sister now, the brotherly need to protect the girl kicking in.    “You know, Fury was about to assign someone to take over the British branch,” Pietro gently slid his fingers through Y/N’s hair. “Maybe you could offer your expertise.”    It pained him to say this, to think about the fact that she’d be an ocean away, but maybe that is what she needed.    She patted the man’s chest and let her head rest on the flesh. “Maybe I should.”    A sigh laced with pain and longing escaped her lips. “Why does this always happen? And why does it have to hurt so much?”    “I don’t know, princessa, I don’t know.” Pietro’s own heart was breaking seeing the state of his friend. He wanted to punch Bucky across the room and break every bone in his body for making Y/N suffer so much. But right now, the girl needed him more.

   “You’re leaving?”    Y/N didn’t even bother looking up from her bags, stashing everything in them.    “For how long?”    “I’m taking over the leadership of the British branch. So I assume permanently.” Her tone was cold, calculated and professional.    “You can’t do that,” Bucky countered back, the surprise still evident in his tone.    “I can and I will,” she zipped up her suitcase and placed it on the ground. “I am an Avenger, with more than enough experience and I need a change of pace. Something a bit more relaxing.”    “Leaving your home and friends behind is relaxing?”    Y/N shrugged her shoulders, her facade of nonchalance on the verge of crumbling. “As I said- I need a change of pace.”    He was just looking at her, staring with those piercing blue eyes, almost pleading for someone to tell him it wasn’t true. “Why?”    Y/N hung her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You know why.”    “No, I don’t. That’s why I’m here. Doll, what the fuck has been going on with you? Why are you so distant?”    “I’m not,” Y/N mumbled back.    “You haven’t talked to me in almost two months!”    “You’re with Diana! So why should you care for me?!“    “What does she have to do with everything?”    Y/N groaned, throwing her head back and pushing an angry fist in her hair. “You absolute, idiot! I love you!”    Time stilled right after the words were out of her mouth.    “And you're with Diana, I know. You’re always with someone. But it’s never me. I’m never the one you wanna be with. ”    “No, doll, that is not true.”    “Then how come you didn’t remember my birthday, Bucky?”    He was stunned. How could he have forgotten about it? With the whole trying to figure out why Y/N wasn’t talking to him he had forgotten one of the most important days of someone he truly loved.    “I-“    “Yeah. You. Bucky, I deserve more than to be remembered when I’m about to die or lying in a hospital or when I'm going on a mission. I’m worth more than that. Especially to someone who called me their best friend...”    “Buck- oh, Y/N!” Diana’s sweet voice entered the scene as she slid an arm up Bucky’s bicep. “You are actually who I was looking for. Our six month anniversary is coming up and I wanted to know if you’re free next Saturday.”    Her smile was so nice, so sincere it was like a thousand daggers to Y/N's heart.    “I’m sorry Diana, but I can’t. I’m going to London.”    “Oh, for how long?”    She looked at Bucky, desperation evident in his eyes.    “A permanent station. I’ll be taking over their SHIELD branch.”    That seemed to take words out of Diana’s mouth. In truth, she had wanted to ask Y/N for advice on how to propose to Bucky. She knew about his nightmares and how he thought he was a burden, so the woman wanted to prove to him she was in it for the long haul.    “You sure you ca-“    “Diana,” Bucky interrupted the girl as Y/N pulled the strap to her duffle bag on her shoulder. “Could you please give us a moment?”    She could sense that something was happening between the two and quiet as a mouse, Diana retreated. Only once when she was out of earshot did one of them make a move. And it was Bucky.    It took him less than a second to grab Y/N by her waist and pull her flush against his body, smashing their lips together. A gasp escaped her from the surprise and shock, which Bucky used as an opportunity to slip his tongue in. But for the brief moment Y/N had melted against him, for the brief moment she had responded with the same eagerness, she was even faster at recoiling.    “What the fuck, Bucky! You- you can’t just do that!”    “Stay, please,” he grasped her hand, “I need you. I can’t live without you. Doll, fuck I need you in my life.”    Y/N shook her head. “No. No, you don’t get to do this to me. Not this time.”    “Doll, ple-“    “No!” the pain her heart felt made her whole body tremble. It was so hard.    “No. I’m never going to be your first choice. You’ll never love me the way I want you to love me.” Y/N took a final glance at the man as he now stood in her bare room. “So I need to get away from you, from all of it, to let my heart heal. Maybe someday it won’t hurt as bad, but for now....”    She wiped a tear away. “Goodbye, Bucky.”    He saw her form retreat, the only thing he could hear was his dull heartbeat echoing in his chest as the last words were put on replay in his mind.    No, Bucky was not about to lose her. He didn’t deserve the girl, not after everything he’d put her through, but he just had to try one last time. His feet moved faster than he ever thought was possible, but it was as if karma had played a cruel joke on him because right when he entered the hanger, the jet that carried Y/N thousands of miles away disappeared from sight.    Nat turned around, cheeks stained with what could only be remnants of tears, the same as the rest of his team, a scowl on her face.    “Now you decide to do something.”    She pushed past him, shoulder painfully slamming into his.    No one talked to him, no one even looked at him as the family, one member less, made their way to the common room, a lab or somewhere else.    Only Steve stopped by Bucky’s side, placing a palm on his shoulder. He opened his mouth, but in the end, even the Captain had nothing to say to the ex-Winter Soldier, so he just squeezed the flesh and went his way, leaving the man to stare at the empty sky.

   The first month was hell for Y/N. She spent every night looking out the glass wall of her bedroom upon the lights of London- so similar to New York’s yet not even remotely the same. She cried every night and greeted the day with puffy cheeks. That is until a certain Spencer Reid from Quantico’s BAU got himself assigned as the lead profiler for their missions.    He brought back a spark to her life. He was quick-witted and matched Y/N in every single way, becoming her best friend. As the director she didn’t get much time to talk to her ex-family back at the Stark tower and once she had realised that, the girl set herself on making a new one.    Reid had become the first member. Slowly but surely he weaselled his way into her closed off persona, made her life a bit more fun. Then came Alexis- a young girl, full of ambition, that Y/N couldn’t help but mother and show how to take the reigns of the missions she was sent out on. Jordan came next, who surprised his new superior with a fruit basket. Albeit the fruits had been in a liquified version and alcoholic, but that had only made Y/N love him more.    Now, a year later, the quartet was inseparable. Everyone cared for everyone and looked out for their wellbeing. Movie nights, unless someone was on a mission or needed at the base, were a given and copious amounts of pizza were eaten. Obviously, all of them would, later on, have to work the gained pounds off. But the mornings, when they were still in the food coma, bleary-eyed and tired, those were the moments they cherished beyond everything else.    “Director Y/L/N!” Spencer called out as he entered her office and placed a Starbucks cup on her table. The iced coffee left condensation stains on the wood, but she couldn’t care less.    “My genius!” Y/N replied with the same amount of enthusiasm before going to hug him good-morning.    “So,” he propped himself on her table, “what’s on the agenda for today? By the way, Penelope says hi, and she can’t thank you enough for the bracelet.”    Y/N chuckled. “Tell my nugget, that she is very welcome and for us,” she flipped her calendar, heart dropping in an instant. The girl had forgotten about the dreaded date, which seemed to be today. “For us,” she swallowed, “the, uh, the Avengers are flying in with Director Fury to check out our base. And to see how we could, umm, make collaboration overseas easier.”    “Hey,” Spencer grabbed her palm, “are you okay?”    Avengers meant that Bucky would come too. And even though it had been a year, Y/N wasn’t sure she was ready to face the man that had hurt her that bad.    You’re the Director of SHIELD’S British branch, you can behave like an adult.    “I’m great,” Y/N threw the agent a dazzling smile. “Let’s go greet our guests.”    The second they stepped outside, all of the air got knocked out of her lungs. Because there he was. It seemed like time hadn’t passed at all. Still the same long chocolate hair, the same ice-blue eyes, the jawline so sharp it could cut diamonds in half and plump lips that had once kissed her.    Almost subconsciously her fingers went to trail over her mouth before she caught on to what she was doing and steadied herself.    “Director Fury, the Avengers. Welcome to our humble home.”    “Oh, cut with the crap, Y/L/N,” Tony removed his sunglasses and opened up his arms. “And come and give me a hug. I haven’t seen you in a fucking year, so you best, believe me, I’ll kill you if you don’t.”    “Oh, don’t be so overdramatic, Stark,” but without a second to spare the girl launched her body into his, the familiar scent of aftershave and what was undoubtedly remnants of Pepper’s perfume invaded her senses and for the first time in a long while, Y/N felt like she was truly home.    “My turn, my turn, my turn,” Wanda’s accented voice rang out before she almost physically pulled the pair apart and latched onto Y/N. “God, I’ve missed you.”    “I missed you too, Wanda. Every damned day.”    Once Y/N detached herself from a very reluctant Sokovian and her twin brother, she gave out hugs and kisses to everyone. Last was Bucky, who got only a brief pat on his back before Y/N went into director mode and showed the people around.    Most afternoon and day was spent in a briefing room, Steve, Tony, Fury and Y/N being the main people who conversed, talking about upgrades, what new developments Stark and Banner had made or simply how could they improve additional dispatch forces if they needed to be sent out.    Afternoon turned into evening, which meant that sooner than anticipated the Avengers had to leave.    The goodbye was hard, for everyone.    Especially for Bucky. He had wanted to talk to the girl privately through the whole day, but work came first and she didn’t even spare him a sideways glance. When his nose had caught the whiff of her shampoo he was ready to clutch onto her body and burst into tears from happiness. He was there. She was with him. Yet at the same time, Y/N had never been further away from the man.    And when it came time for him to return to New York, the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. This might be the only time in years he’d get to see her. But it had been no use, as the team piled up in the jet his eyes caught Y/N’s retreating from down below where he was stood on the roof. Bucky looked on as she walked away, arms linked with a man’s whose hair was messy and the colour of sand and the other one with a bubbly young girl’s.    “Buck, you coming?”    He turned around and found a smiling Steve.    “Or are you finally going after the girl of your dreams?”

   Thunder rolled over London and bright flashes of light illuminated Y/N’s apartment. She turned to the other side, snuggling her face into the mountain of pillows, trying to block out the light. The woman was on the verge of sleep once more, when loud rumbles brought her out of the state. For a second she just thought it was another wave of thunder, but then it came again. It was rhythmic ramming against something wooden, something solid. Someone was at her door.    Begrudgingly she pulled the warm covers off of her body and padded her way through the dark corridor. The silk pyjama shirt and shorts left little to no imagination, but Y/N was pissed enough that if it was someone who intended to harm her, they’d be dead before they could even catch a glimpse of what she was wearing.    With a yank, she unlocked the door, and a gasp of surprise left her lips. There stood Bucky, completely drenched from head to toe, with his chest heaving as if he’d just ran a marathon.    “Barnes? What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the fucking night. Wha- wait. What are you doing here in London? Aren’t you supposed to be on the je-“    “On the jet to New York? Yeah.”    “Then why are you here?”    He gulped down. “Because I left something behind.”    “Oh,” she crossed her arms over her chest. “In that case why didn’t you leave a message? I’d send it to you tomorrow.”    “You- you can’t pack, what I left and bring it to a post office.”    He made his way closer, a trail of rain left in his wake, but Y/N didn’t really care. There was something in his gaze, that made her throw caution to the wind.    “Cause that thing, I forgot,” his palm went to cradle her cheek, electricity shooting through every part of her body.    “Yeah?” it was barely a whisper, no louder than a drop of water against the windowsill.    “Was you.”    And once again, like that time a year ago, his lips were on hers. He fit so perfectly against Y/N like his body was sculpted to mould against the girl. Like she was the question and he was the answer. A thunder with its lighting.    Her thoughts were in a daze, as fingers wove through messy wet hair, pulling his face closer to hers. The pyjama got instantly stained and it wasn’t until she felt cold water droplets seep through the material and touch her breasts she pushed him violently away.    “No, Bucky, no. We’re not doing this. Not after everything. I’m not going to let you break m-“    “I left her.”    Y/E/C eyes snapped up to see his blue ones. In the dark, they were the tone of the night sky, though it might be the lust making its appearance as well.    “What?”    “Whe- aft-“ he pulled in a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and taking a step closer to the girl, while at the same time gauging her reaction. “The second you said that you’re leaving, I realised what mistake I had made. What I had given up. And I understand why you did it. God, I was such a fucking idiot. But when you said it was permanent, that you wouldn’t be coming back… it- it snapped something in me. I had been trying to push my feelings away for so long. I mean why would you want a monster like that- no, let me finish. And- and when you pulled on that duffel bag, when I looked around your room and saw the bare walls, saw that you’re leaving all the pictures you have of us behind… I realised I can’t live without you. And not in a friends kind of a way.”    “When you said you loved me… it was like I had finally gotten everything  I had ever wanted in life. Because you were mine and I was yours. And then Dia-“    “Diana,” Y/N finished the little word.    “Yeah. I finally understood that I was just trying to fill out the void what the thought of never being with you had created. And after that mission, after you distanced yourself from me, I threw everything I had at her, but it wasn’t enough. I just didn’t feel that thing…”    He was now standing right in front of her. Bucky’s nose brushed against Y/N’s, gentle palms gripping onto her waist as if afraid she’d disappear. “I didn’t feel my heart racing every time she laughed. I didn’t feel my mouth going completely dry every time I looked at her, cause I was at a loss for words from her beauty.”    Water dripped down onto her chest and disappeared into her night attire.    “I didn’t feel this unquenchable need to kiss her, to touch her skin,” a finger slid along her bicep, brushing a droplet up to her collarbone, sending a shiver down her spine.    “With Diana, I didn’t have the want to wake up every morning with her by my side. Cause each day that she rolled around, all I could think was of you. How you would look with a bed head. How your eyes would glint as the morning sun shone through the windows. How it would feel to kiss you and whisper that I love you, making your day start off with feeling like you’re someone’s everything.”    Y/N wasn’t breathing anymore. Her arms were still crossed over her chest, but Y/E/C eyes didn’t let go of Bucky’s gaze.    “And when our six month anniversary rolled around, I realised what mistake I had made. The next day I broke up with her. I explained everything. She turned out to be surprisingly understanding, but by then the damage was already done. You were gone.”    It was all too much. Y/N’s brain was having a hard time to comprehend what Bucky had just said, but what was a bigger mess was her heart. All this time of trying to push her feelings away, the futile attempts at mending the broken pieces, all of that had now been destroyed, by the same man who had caused her broken state in the first place.    “And, umm,” she cleared her throat, a flash of lightning illuminating the conflict on her face, “what now?”    “Now it's up to you. Whatever you choose, I’ll do it.”    His metal palm gently cupped her cheek. “If you tell me to go, then I will. You’ll never see me again and I will never try to contact you. But if you’ll allow me to stay,” he took a Y/H/C piece of a strand and twirled it between his fingers. It had come out of the braid Y/N had made before going to bed and to Bucky, the messy state was the most gorgeous she’d ever looked to him. “I'll spend the rest of my life trying to regain your trust and love. I will spend my days showing you what you really mean to me. I’ll give my everything to you. All I ask in return is one chance to make things right, to show the girl who has my heart that I’m absolutely and utterly hers. And that there is no one else in the world, I’d want to spend my life.”    Silence settled over them, Bucky’s heart beating in an erratic rhythm. He was sure he was going into cardiac arrest before Y/N answered, sending him soaring.    “You get one try, Bucky and that is it.”    He didn’t wait for a second more as his lips pulled in a brilliant smile and he pressed them against Y/N’s. He covered her face with kisses while wrapping his arms around her body and lifting her up. Through the daze he made his way to where he had seen was her kitchen counter and placed her there, standing between her parted legs.    Bucky kissed down her cheek and moved on to the side of her neck. The man bit and sucked there until he found that one spot, that one place that made Y/N curl her toes, a moan escaping her lips.    “Bed,” she rasped out, “now.”    He didn’t need to be told twice. With her legs wrapped around his waist, he carried the girl towards a hallway, but not before pressing her against the walls multiple times.    When they got to her room, Y/N was already bare, the silk ripped to shreds and lying in pieces somewhere across her floors. Bucky sucked right at the hollow of her neck, making the girl arch her back.    “You’re wearing too many clothes,” and like the lightning that flashed across their bodies, illuminating them in a silver glow, Y/N had his jacket, scarf and shirt off in no time.    Rough fingers wove through his wet hair, pulling Bucky flush against Y/N. He’d dreamt for so long to have her like this, passion completely clouded his head. Detaching from her lips, which was hard enough as to him there was no better taste than her mouth, he did want to explore other parts of her as well.    “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Bucky whispered out, gentle fingers gliding along her sides, sending shivers up and down her spine, goosebumps rising all over. His lips, soft as the touch of a feather, made their way down Y/N’s body. First, they latched onto one nipple, sucking and biting until he was satisfied with how much the girl was writhing underneath him before making his way to the other side.    When he was appeased, looking up to see her body already flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering her glowing skin, he made his way further down. Bucky made sure he left purple marks all across, a beautiful string on her ribs and a perfect belt across her hips.    Warm hands pushed her legs open and he slid his mouth across the insides of her thighs, grazing the soft skin there with his teeth.    “Breathtaking,” Bucky pressed a sweet kiss right where Y/N wanted him the most, yet not giving her the full thing.    “Bucky, please. I need you.” Her right hand was woven through his hair, nails scraping along his scalp. And although he wanted her to beg, for her to be almost in tears from his teasing and denial, there would be another time for that.    In an instant his mouth was on her clit, sucking at it. Y/N’s back arched up from the bed, making Bucky use his metal arm to push her hips back down. A whine escaped her lips as her eyes almost rolled back into her head from the pleasure.    He lapped and swirled his tongue around the sensitive nub, making the girl grasp onto his hair even more. Blue eyes looked up to find Y/N staring down at him, one hand clutching the sheets so hard there was a tear in the fabric and her knuckles were white. The man let go of the thigh he’d been massaging the whole time and instead interlinked it with Y/N’s palm.    Her grip tightened as he removed the metal arm from her waist and inserted two fingers into her hot entrance. The feeling of the cold vibranium made her body lurch up as the two digits stretched her out and once they started the pace of moving in an out she was a goner.    Nothing but white-hot pleasure existed and a tight knot started to form in her lower belly. Bucky could feel that Y/N was close. It didn’t matter that he was using the prosthetic arm, he could still feel pressure and with the way her walls were clenching around him, he knew she was teething right at the edge.    Bucky made his fingers into a come-hither motion, hitting that spot deep inside, making a guttural moan escape her lips and with only a few more movements she was letting go, coating everything with her juices, the man drinking it up like he’d been starved for decades.    Only when he was sure she had come down from her high, eyes still closed as stars exploded behind her lids, he sucked the excess off of his fingers and leaned down to kiss her.    “Fuck, I need you,” Y/N moaned into his mouth, the taste of her on his lips intoxicating the girl even more.    “You have me, all of me.”    His drenched jeans were gone, shoes and socks hitting the floor at the same time, boxers following suit.    Y/N’s fingers wrapped around his length and stroked it a few times, making Bucky’s abs clench in anticipation. She aligned him with her entrance and with a slow push he sheeted himself inside of her.    Y/E/C eyes flew open at the feel of Bucky stretching her out so much. The girl’s nails dug into his back, some places drawing even blood, but there was no sweeter pain for the man. Ice blue eyes that had changed their colour to a stormy sea looked deep into that of the woman’s. She nodded her head as a signal for him to start moving, so Bucky slid out almost completely before burying himself inside once more.    Connecting their lips in a searing kiss, he started a relentless pace. It was borderline brutal, but the love, the passion, the need to take care of her dispelled anything that could be angry about it.    It didn’t take long for Y/N to feel that familiar tightness in her stomach.    “Bucky, I’m gonna cum.”    “Let go, doll. I got you.”    Few more thrusts and she was falling once again. Explosions of pleasure rippled through her body, making every atom ignite and light aflame.    Y/N thought that Bucky was right behind her, but his pace didn’t falter, instead, a hand snaked between their bodies and a cold finger pressed onto her clit.    “No, Buck,” she shook her head as he assaulted the oversensitive nerve, “I can’t. No more.”    “Just one more, baby. I know you have it in you.”    Suddenly he changed the angle, bringing her to sit on his lap and bounce up and down. The new position pushed Bucky deeper inside of the girl, making Y/N full-on scream his name at the feeling of it.        “Come on, darling. I know you can get there. I’m right behind you, just need you to- shit, fuck, you’re so tight!”    He moved his thumb vigorously around her clit and tears streamed down her face as Y/N succumbed to pleasure once more. Her arms clutched around Bucky’s body, trying to hold onto something that was tangible and real, otherwise, she felt like the universe would rip her apart and she’d disintegrate into molecules.    With three more thrusts, Bucky was spilling inside of the girl, holding onto her waist with the same amount of ferocity. It was like Y/N was his only lifeline and thread to the physical world.    The pair’s chests heaved as they tried to catch breaths, foreheads pressed together, sweat dripping down onto the sheets.    He pressed a kiss against Y/N’s damp skin. “I love you. So much. You’ve always been the one for me, yet I was too stupid to act upon it.”    Her palm slid up to cup his rugged cheek and she pressed her mouth against his in a sweet brush of lips.    “I love you too. Just next time, if you feel something similar, please say it before I move to a different country. “    Bucky chuckled at that, but soon enough he was full on laughing as he laid their bodies next to one another, never letting Y/N out of his embrace.    “Trust me doll, I will never hesitate to tell you how much I love you. I learned my lesson.”

Tags (crossed out couldn’t be tagged, sorry loves): @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @palaiasaurus64 @lumelgy @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @nerissa98 @asguardiansoftheavengers

A/N: it’s almost 3 AM; I should’ve been editing my last assignments, but I regret nothing :DDD

P.S. tell me what you think :)

P.S.S. if you wanna be tagged in future stories or have any requests, please drop a message.

P.S.S.S. please don’t repost without credit :))

>.>

Part two of these faniction writer asks here~!  

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I don’t think I’ve received any outside criticism about one of my stories, but I definitely have criticized them myself.  After getting a much better grammar program I went through and changed some of the lines and dialogue of my fics which was…embarrassing;;;

12) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

ALRICK.  I just love writing from his perspective, and I seldom do it so it’s a real treat for me~  He just has such an angry and arrogant narrative voice, it’s so much fun. 

13) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Kanato… I never think my Kanato is good enough whenever I write for him.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

Uhhhh…. I’m just gonna say Life After Life because I like that title.  It’s because it’s about your second life, like being a vampire! :D God I’m dumb 

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

It was a mix of great care and “just felt right”.  I knew from the start I wanted Lilly’s name to be Lilly but at the same time, I did NOT want her name to be Lilly.  I could think fo two red-haired fictional women with the name Lilly (Lily Aldrin and Lily Evans) and I didn’t want her to follow in their footsteps.  But her name just STUCK.  And lilies represent purity and death and it just fit so well I had to keep it.  Alrick was both easier and harder.  I knew I wanted him to have a strong name, but I didn’t have anything specific in mind.  So I looked up Germanic names and found Alrick: king of kings.  And you bet that fit him like a glove~ 

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx? (for Afterglow)

Well. I knew I always wanted to write about Alrick and Lilly’s first time together.  And I knew what I wanted the aftermath to be like, I wanted it to be kind of bad.  So I just lay awake at 4 am every night until I had the story written out in my head.  You know, the usual creative process  😎

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

I’ve got three in progress WIPS so you get three!

From The Rosenfeld Manor Murders (a murder mystery starring you, Reiji Sakamaki’s apprentice detective.  This takes place during the prohibition era and involves gangs, bootleggers, and murder~): “This is a murder about you.  You had never thought about being thrust in the middle of a murder before, but there’s a first time for everything.  And at the start of the whole ordeal, you had no idea that you would be implicated in the killing in the first place.”

From Alicia’s story, currently nameless (FAlrick Story!): “A neat stack of letters awaited her on the kitchen table. Alicia thumbed through them with disinterest, the ache in her fangs keeping her thoughts on the girl upstairs.  She imagined sinking her teeth into the girl’s throat, the skin parting for her like butter. She smelled sweet enough, she would be a fitting meal for Alicia. The demon princess only ate what she considered the finest humans, and she wouldn’t settle for anything less than first-rate.” 

From The Gift (Medusa story that I thought about in the shower today):  “You have been given a great gift,” he mother told her one day while plaiting her hair.  “The gods must have a special plan for you to grace you with such beauty.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Y-yes… There’s one I called “Self-Indulgent Shu Bullshit” and as you can see from the title, it was some self-indulgent Shu bullshit that I was probably never going to finish anyways out of shame

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Around the time I wrote Life After Life, I was filled with ideas about a sequel for it.  Something about Miguel finding Alrick and Lilly in the streets of Paris, originally intending to kill them.  But some stuff happens and they turn him into a vampire and spend the next century all together (it’s very poly-ship).  Then they go on this long ass journey to find this ancient artifact to bring Evelyn back to life.  It was very silly, very fun, and not something I would write seriously. 

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Life after Life... I’ve never felt like the ending was sad enough.  I cried when Evelyn died, and I cried thinking about Alrick dying, but I didn’t cry when he did die.  And that means it wasn’t impactful enough. 

no spoilers here boys but heres a 1490 word slash of chapter 31

this was a glimpse at “what could’ve been”, although I guess in an alternate Out in the Big Wide Woods it could be canon 

new chapter’s due for a release tomorrow! ciao!

Gabriel went back to his room without a word of discussion with Zenyatta. There was something sacred about the futures he had viewed. Even without saying so, Gabriel was fully aware that it was not to be discussed with anyone, even Zenyatta himself.

He wondered if Zenyatta had viewed what he had.

The futures were troubling, the second moreso than others.

Did he have the capacity to do what he did in the second future? His first reaction was to say no, he could never, but the Reaper was nothing to take lightly.

He’d killed them. All of them. Jack was the only one left, and poor Jack… He had seen those marks on his neck, knew the implications. Gabriel knew himself, and he knew exactly what was on his future self’s mind. The slight, possessive touches after that kiss. Gabriel was not a particularly sex-driven man, but there had been a slight, ambling touch on Jack’s thigh…

In that future he had become a murderer, a rapist- A full-blown psychotic and sociopathic demi-god with a short temper.

He thought he’d sooner take the third future than the second, although it was concerning in its own right.

He had seen his own dead body. Seen Liao standing over him. Judging by what she’d said…

She’d killed him.

He didn’t sleep very well that night.

He went down to the kitchen at five. During the summer, the sky would be waxing into faint shades of grey, signalling sunrise- Right now, it was pitch black outside and would be for several hours.

He had gotten sparse, precious hours of sleep, totalling to about four hours of uneven rest in jagged fifteen to thirty minute portions. It was even more exhausting than staying awake, so he elected to just pretend he had gotten an adequate amount of sleep and go get breakfast.

He sat down at the dining room table, glaring moodily at the golem that meekly stepped out of the kitchen.

“Cereal,” Gabriel muttered to it. “Coffee. A small amount of cream and no sugar.”

It nodded, hurrying into the kitchen. Gabriel laid his head down on the table, vainly hoping that he would manage to get some rest. It didn’t work- the hard chairs at the table were far less comfortable to sleep in than his bed.

Something odd- a feeling in his head rather than something physical- made Gabriel lift his head up, and he glanced blearily to his right.

A dark-skinned woman sat next to him, stirring a mug full of an indeterminate brown liquid. How he’d missed her before, he wasn’t entirely sure. She looked vaguely familiar. Something about her purple clothes, long nails, heavy eyeshadow, the shaved side of her head and the long, curled strands on the other seemed to beckon to his memory.

“You’re up early, chico.”

“Vete al carajo.” Gabriel replied, nonplussed.

“Ouch. Not a morning person?”

“If you’re not on my staff I’m going to break your nose for bothering me.” Gabriel muttered, laying his head back down on the table.

“I am on your staff- I’m the technomancer, remember?”

“Hngh. Can you technomance me up a coffee machine?”  

“The golems make it better.” Her chair creaked gently. “Something up, chico?”

“I didn’t sleep well.”

“Nightmares?” She asked, taking a tentative sip of her questionable drink.

“I don’t dream at all anymore.” Gabriel murmured.

“Amelie said the same thing. You know how she’s all stoic and cold? Total ruse. She had a dream the first night after you became the Reaper, and she woke Angela and me up crying ‘cos of it.”

“That bad?”

“No, no, no, chico- She dreamed about a car ride. It didn’t matter what, really- she had gone nine years without dreaming. Three thousand two hundred and eighty seven sleeps without a single dream, and then poof, suddenly she dreams again.”

Gabriel’s guts twisted.

Ten years without dreams was slated for him, too.

He didn’t think it would affect him that badly, and even though he didn’t dream much, he felt as though something integral to the old Gabriel had been secretly ripped clean. The Reaper had stripped away another slice of his humanity and Gabriel hadn’t even known about it until this conversation with Sombra.

The Bastion trundled out, prompting Gabriel to lift his head and watch it approach. It laid a bowlful of Wheaties and a steaming mug of coffee on the table in front of Gabriel, chirping softly.

It was a welcome distraction from this talk of disappearing dreams.

“Thanks,” Gabriel grunted. It whistled happily and headed back for the kitchen.

“Soooo, hey, I was thinking…” Sombra’s nails tapped the tabletop. “You probably don’t want to be here, right?”

Gabriel looked up at her, questioning and tired.

“Hear me out. Angela’s going to teach you how to do boring Reaper stuff, Amelie’s gonna make you do combat training, Zenyatta’s gonna try to give you harmony lessons or something. Torbjorn’s gonna stay in his little workshop, Jack’s gonna do, heh, jack, and the golems aren’t really that cool to hang around with.”

“Spit it out.” Gabriel barked.

“We’re gonna go on a day out.” Sombra’s face brightened. “You and me.”

“I get the feeling you’ve been planning this.”

“Well…” She tapped her chin. “No, not even maybe. Yeah, I have been. Come on, chico, you’re the coolest thing that’s happened to this mansion in years, and it’s been forever since I’ve gotten the chance to leave that wasn’t on missions.”

“Go by yourself.” Gabriel said dismissively.

“But-”

“Later,” Gabriel insisted.

“Come on-”

“The last time I was in public people treated me like I was a monster.”

“It’ll be different this time. You can conceal yourself a little better-”

“No, I can’t, because Angela hasn’t taught me that ‘boring Reaper stuff’ yet.” Gabriel snapped.

Sombra paused, glancing down at her drink. There was a tender silence, and Gabriel watched her, brows furrowed. He didn’t believe she would drop it so easy, not a chance.

“What if,” She said, slowly.

“No.”

“Listen to me! What if we brought Jack?”

That gave him pause.

“Jack’s not allowed to leave the mansion.” Gabriel said, slowly.

“Angela doesn’t have to know,” Sombra coaxed. “We’ll go out and be back in… In an hour, tops.”

“Right now?”

“It’s the best time, isn’t it? Angela doesn’t get up until eight.” Sombra’s voice started carrying a vibrating tone of excitement. “Come on! You and Jack, away from the mansion. You can hang out- No Reaper, no Angela, to mess things up.”

The whole thing left a sour taste in Gabriel’s mouth, but he couldn’t deny that it was… Appealing, to be able to spend a couple hours out of the mansion and with Jack.

He snapped himself out of his thoughts before he could begin to fantasize like a stupid teenager.

Don’t jeopardize your friendship, Gabriel. He reminded himself firmly.

But what about the first future? He and Jack were getting married…

They had to start somewhere, right?

He wished his future self had given more of a stepping-stone. Like where, how, when, or why they had become partners in the first place. That would make this dating shit a lot easier.

“If he says no, I’m not going.”

“Yes!” Sombra pumped her fist, a wicked grin overtaking her features.

“Calm down. He hasn’t said yes yet.”

“But he will,” Sombra said, with all the self-satisfied arrogance of someone who most definitely knows they’re right.

“Let me finish my cereal.” Gabriel scowled. “Then we’ll talk to him. Together.”

“You think if I talked to him and he said no, I’d lie about it?” Sombra laid a hand on her chest, sounding scandalized.

“Yes.” Gabriel deadpanned.

“Well, okay. You’re probably right.” She stood up, downed the last of her drink, and left it on the table as she sauntered out.

Gabriel watched her as she left, wary. He suspected that she had some other scheme planned, but his brain was too tired to completely puzzle it out.

He finished up as much of his cereal as he could manage. One of the golems hovered over his shoulder, waiting for his permission to clear away dirty dishes. He gave it a grunt and the golem seemed to accept it, delicately grabbing his used dishes and lumbering away.

On his way out, he passed Zenyatta. Gabriel did not greet him, and the djinni did not, either. His blue eyes were sympathetic, and Gabriel paused to uncomfortably wonder if he had seen the futures Gabriel had. Did they worry him the same way they worried Gabriel? Gabriel had killed him in the second future, had scooped out his eyes and pickled them, left them floating in a jar and mingle next to Mondatta’s. He had reduced every mythical or magical creature he knew, barring Jack, into a trophy.

“What are you waiting for?” Sombra called impatiently from the top of the stairs. “You’re not a snail! Let’s go!”