sharing a pipe under the starry sky 🌠

me, quietly whispering to the ao3 page of an author who doesn’t even know I exist: I am obsessed with you

I recently hit 100 followers and wanted to draw a lil something to celebrate! Thanks (and sorry) for joining me in the Hazbin brainrot :') <3

Their expressions are sending me!😂 These are so cute, oh, Alastor, you deserved every second of that. 😂

The “Drunk-ass-Lucifer” Trilogy is finally complete! Such a funny (and surprisingly wholesome and angsty?? Read!) @keelywolfe I am excited to see what is next in store for these two morons. Will Lucifer remember anything? Will his hangover be as entertaining as Alastor hopes? We’ll have to see!

Fic series here!

I've been thinking; If there won't be a prequel about the first time radioapple had sex (and totally get why, I'm not sure I'd want to go back that far either after all the hard-won development), could we get the TLDR? I'm mostly curious about who initiated, if there was any precedent or was it just a horny eruption, what in the seven hells was going through Lucifer's mind as it happened, etc.? I think the baseball bat simile gives us enough of an idea of what the deed itself was like 😅 (Poor Al) but I can't get the possibilities for the road leading up to it out of my head. How do these two boys even end up in that situation?

Ooh, this is tough to answer without spoilers because their first time is going to come up again. Lucifer isn't always the most reliable of narrators and Alastor has five different reasons for everything he does.

Suffice to say that one of Alastor's greatest skills is knowing how to push buttons and he hammered on Lucifer's until he broke. Constantly sniping at each other, never pass up on a short joke or chance to needle him about helping Charlie. I like to think that Lucifer's restraint eventually just snapped like a soggy twig and the only real thing going through his mind was making Alastor shut up. If the only way to shut his mouth was with his own? So be it. One hard kiss wouldn't be enough, all it would take to push Lucifer completely over the edge would be for Alastor to laugh at him. About his height? About Charlie? A taunt about his kissing skills? 'If that's the extent of your sexual prowess, it's rather amazing you actually managed to reproduce at all.'

It would be enough for Lucifer to see literal red, to haul Alastor through a portal to his room, he wants proof of sexual prowess? He'll get it.

After the first time, it only gets easier to give in. By the second time, ('I do hope you can do better this time, my dear, I prefer being able to sit without wincing') Lucifer already knows what Alastor looks like on his knees, the little sounds he makes, soft and staticy-sweet, the way he never closes his eyes, watches Lucifer greedily, like he actually sees him, like he wants to see him. Knowing that Alastor is deliberately taunting him into this doesn't stop him from wanting it, damn it, all that wild, rough fucking.

Things don't change on that front until they hit a hinge moment where Alastor gives Lucifer an unexpected present but more than that, based on Lucifer's reaction to it, it's a moment that he might just have been waiting for. Lucifer is terrible at this, he can barely admit his emotions to himself in his own mind. We know what happens from there. 😉

I laughed so fucking hard at this

When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.

One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.

I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.

I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.

I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.

She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.

I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.

And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think… I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.

So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.

If you ever tagged me to do one of those tag game thingies and I never did it:

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

2) Very sorry about that, it’s extremely likely that I said to myself “Cool! But I’m busy at the moment, I’ll have to do this later today or tomorrow” before proceeding to just straight-up forget, now it’s too far back in my notifications and/or your blog to find again.

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

I’m so emotional about dinosaur stuffed animals,,, there are these creatures, extinct long before any of us were alive, but we found their bones and their eggs and their footprints. And we made drawings and models of what they could’ve looked like. And we made them into stuffed animals so we could hold them. We made them soft so we could love them. I’m sobbing

i crave soft relationship you cant stop me

Dressed to impress

I just have the idea of them having a little sleepover together to have some father daughter bonding. First comic in years and I soft shade. haah. Also part reason why there's a version without dialogue

Summary: The Aftermath

Note: Last chapter of this one!

Part 21 of Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship 

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