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mrsparrasblog · 2 months

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Rodolfo x Alej's Sister

You've known him since you were a kid; he was always there at every family gathering and every birthday. He spent every weekend with Alej. At first, you hated him. He always pulled on your pigtails, made fun of you, and stole your toys.

When you turned 16, your hatred toward Rudy suddenly changed. He changed; he became nice to you, helping you with biology and physics exams, listening to your problems, and protecting you when Alej couldn't.

The night of your senior prom changed your view completely. You were going with Antonio to prom; you had been dating him for one year. You never knew your relationship would change on this day.

The first hours were perfect; he picked you up in his car, danced with you the whole night, and then rented out a hotel room for you both. You promised him this would be your first night together, and you did. The only problem? He left you straight after what you just did.

You didn't know what to do. You were left alone in a hotel room with no way to go home by night. You could always call Alej; you knew he would help you. Of course, you were fighting like siblings always did, but he loved you, right? But he would kill Antonio, and you didn't want to tell your big brother that you lost your virginity. If he tells Dad, it's over for you anyway.

So you did the only thing your mind could come up with: you called Rudy, while still crying over Antonio.

"What's wrong, Mi Amor?"

"How did you know something's wrong, Rudy?" You sobbed into the phone.

"You're calling me at 2 a.m., and you're sobbing. What's wrong?" Rudy said, his voice full of empathy.

"Antonio, he—"

"What did that pendejo do?" You never heard Rudy that furious. You were used to Alej or even your dad; they were hot-headed, but Rudy was always calm, which made him a bit scary. But this time, he was mad before you even told him what Antonio did.

"I... he... can you pick me up? I'm at the inn."

"I'm there in 5, Mi Amor."

He came to pick you up. He was always a great driver, and you felt safe. He always put on the car heater for you and didn't force you to talk.

"Do you want a stop at Chili's?"

You just nodded, and you went through the drive-thru, eating in his car, even if he rarely allowed food in it. But for you, he made an exception; he always did.

"He slept with me."

"Did you want it? Did he hurt you?"

"I wanted it, and no, he didn't physically hurt me."

"Physically?"

"He broke up with me after."

"I'm going to kill that pendejo."

"No, Rudy, it's okay. I'm stupid."

"Look at me. You're not stupid; you're an intelligent, beautiful, and hardworking woman."

"Thank you, Rudy. I just feel bad about myself."

"You know you're the most beautiful girl in the world, Mi Amor."

"Hm."

"Alejandro and I are going to enlist after our graduation."

"I know."

"I'm sorry, but I promise I'll bring your brother back safe."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

20 years later, you still remember that day—the day you fell in love with Rudy, your brother's best friend. Of course, you had flings and even relationships, but nothing compared to the feelings you savored for your Rudy.

He never married, though he got married to his work exactly like your brother, but at least you knew that they kept each other safe until

Rudy stormed into your house with one of the two spare keys you had. He was panting and shaking, and when you saw his face, fear crawled over you. Did something happen to Alej?

"Rudy, what's wrong?" but he was like in a trance, barely noticing you.

Rudy took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart before answering. "I thought about how much I didn't want to leave this world without ever telling you how much you mean to me." His eyes locked onto yours, and he could see the confusion and desire mixed in your gaze.

"Uhm, Rudy, why is something wrong?"

"I almost died today; I got into a fire. Alejandro saved me at the last minute." You almost forgot about his nice words; he almost died. You looked at him, scanning him for any visible injuries, and then you couldn't hold back anymore. If someone thought Alejandro had the temperament, they didn't know his little sister.

"No, Rudy, are you insane? You almost died idiot. You need to take care of yourself. I swear to you, if you die on me, I will pull you back from heaven to fucking kill you again." He loved that fire that occupied you, but right now he wasn't able to fight with you and enjoy your burning eyes, which he found so sexy.

He took a step closer, his heart pounding in his chest. "Mi Amor, please listen to me. I've loved you since the moment I saw you." Did he just confess to you? You couldn't believe it.

"I doubt that we were kids and you always pulled my hair."

Rodolfo chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, I remember being a kid and thinking you were the most beautiful girl in the world. And even as we grew up, that feeling only got stronger."

"Why did you never tell me? I thought you saw me only as the stupid sister from Alejandro."

"I was scared, Mi Amor. I knew our families wouldn't approve, and I didn't want to risk losing you or my friendship with Alejandro." He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Rudy I have loved you since the day you punched my prom date." You confessed remembering the night and the following day when the pacifist Rudy came with all his knuckles injured. You behaved like a medic till you saw Antonio with his broken nose, a blue eye, and an overall punched-out expression. He did this for you; he protected you, not Alej. You still scolded him for being foolish; he could have gotten hurt too.

His eyes widened in surprise, and he stared at you for a moment. "Oh, you did, huh? Well, I have loved you since the day I pulled your hair and called you an Ilorona" Idiot, but you loved his laughs and jokes. He was a calm man, and most people thought he was shy, but Rudy never was shy—never to you at least.

"Why now? What changed?"

He took your soft hands in his. "No, Mi Amor. It's because of how much I felt when I thought I was going to die. And it hit me then—all the years I've spent hiding my feelings for you—they were pointless."

"Your feelings were never pointless."

"I know that now, but I didn't before. I was so focused on what others thought and what our families would say that I forgot to listen to my own heart." He sighed, looking down at your hands before meeting your gaze again. "But I promise you, Mi Amor, "you couldn't hear it anymore; you needed to show him how much passion you felt for him.

"cállate Rudy and just kiss me already."

Rodolfo chuckled softly before leaning forward, his lips brushing against yours gently. "Always telling me what to do, aren't you?" he whispered against your lips before deepening the kiss slowly.

He felt the heat of your kiss, igniting a fire within him. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer as you explored each other's lips and tongues.

His heart raced with anticipation and excitement, finally acting on the feelings he had harbored for so long.

"It feels better than I imagined."

"I'm glad, Mi Amor," he whispered against your lips, nuzzling his face into your neck. "You feel so good. So right." He deepened the kiss again, lost in the sensation of finally being with you like this.

"What About Alejandro?"

"I'll deal with him later," Rodolfo replied, his voice husky from your passionate kiss. "Right now, all that matters is you and me." He continued to kiss your neck, trailing soft kisses down your collarbone before returning to your lips once more.

Rodolfo smiled against your lips, his hands sliding down to cup your ass, pulling you even closer. "And you're so stunning," he groaned, nibbling gently on your lower lip. "I've dreamed of this for so long."

"Oh, so that's what you thought about on your lonely barracks nights." You hated yourself for joking right now, but it felt so good and easy with him.

Rodolfo chuckled, trailing more kisses along your jawline. "And many other things, mi amor," he murmured, his hands slipping under your shirt to trace patterns over your soft skin. "But you were always in my mind."

"Rudy, you don't need to take things slow. I waited 20 years for this." You whined; you felt your body reacting to his; you were already dripping in anticipation.

Feeling your need for him, Rodolfo pressed you against the wall, his hands moving up to hold your face as he deepened the kiss. "I want to make this last," he breathed, his lips still locked with yours. "I don't want it to be over too soon.

"We have 40 years of this; please, Rudy, I need you."

Rodolfo's eyes darkened with desire as he looked into your pleading gaze. He couldn't resist any longer. With a growl, he picked you up, as if you weighed nothing. God, you knew he was strong, but wow. and carried you to the bedroom.

Rudy kicked the door shut behind you and laid you down on the bed, his lips never leaving yours. He was afraid that if he pulled away, he would wake up like in many of his dreams, but this was real. He finally had you and never wanted to let you go.

His hands roamed over your body, pulling off your shirt and lacy bra before moving to undo his pants. "I want you so badly, Mi Amor. I have been dreaming about this for years, and God, you are even more beautiful than in my imagination."

"I need you so bad, Rudy."

He growled into your kiss, and with one swift motion, he pulled off his shirt and pants, revealing himself to you fully. Of course, you knew how good he looked without his shirt, especially when Alej and he came over in the summer to watch football. But now that you saw him in full glory, you were amazed, his erect cock stood at attention. And you grabbed it, wanting to pull it finally inside of you, where it had belonged all these years. Where you rubbed yourself, moaning his name in desperation.

Rodolfo chuckled, pushing your skirt up and kissing your thighs tenderly. "Impatient little thing, aren't you?" He whispered teasingly before licking a line up your smooth stomach to your perky breasts.

His tongue circled your nipple, causing you to moan loudly. Rodolfo's cock throbbed with anticipation, aching to be inside of you. "You taste so good,"

He reached down and helped you remove your skirt, revealing your black lace panties underneath. His mouth watered at the sight. "Fuck, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he groaned, unable to resist any longer.

You giggled at his praise.

"Shh, mi amor," Rodolfo murmured, his hands moving up to cup your breasts. He squeezed them gently, eliciting a soft moan from your pouty lips as he began to trail kisses down your abdomen once more.

"I love you, Rudy."

"I love you too," Rodolfo whispered against your stomach before standing up. "Let me undress you completely." His eyes never leaving yours, he reached out to slowly pull down your panties, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of you completely bare.

Rudy couldn't resist any longer; he crawled between your legs and kissed you softly at the entrance of your womanhood. "So beautiful," he whispered against your skin before licking you slowly, his tongue tracing circles around your hard and pulsing clit. Rodolfo moaned against you, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue.

He could taste your arousal, and it only made him want more. "So wet for me, Mi Amor, you taste like heaven," Rodolfo grinned against your skin, his mouth watering at the taste.

He slowly pushed one finger inside of you, gently stretching you for him as he continued to lick and suck on your clit. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too."

Rodolfo's finger moved in and out of your needing hole slowly, matching the rhythm of his tongue on your clit.

He could hear you moaning his name, and it only fueled his desire to make you cum. "Cum for me, mi amor,"

Rudy groaned as you came, his tongue working hard as he tasted your sweet nectar. He continued to lap, making sure he got every last drop before slowly pulling away. "You are so breathtaking," he whispered against your skin, his fingers still inside you.

Small tears escaped your eyes; it was almost embarrassing how much you felt for this man. "No one treated me so good before."

His heart swelled at your beautiful words, and he kissed you softly on the stomach moving up to slowly kiss the tears away, "It's because you're my everything, Mi Amor, I could worship you forever. I'm sorry for not doing it earlier."

He pulled out his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. "Turn around." Rodolfo moved behind you, his hard cock pressing against your bouncy ass. He took a moment to admire your body again like he wanted to memorize every scar, every curve, and every birthmark of yours.

He reached around to stroke himself slowly. "You're so beautiful," he whispered again, kissing your shoulder blade. "I want to feel you."

"Rudy, please make love to me." You didn't say fucking or sex; these words didn't describe what this was; this was lovemaking, and you enjoyed every second of it.

Rodolfo shivered at your words, his cock twitching in excitement. Holding you against him tightly, he positioned himself at your entrance. With one powerful thrust, he penetrated you completely while kissing your neck lovingly. "I'm all yours, mi amor."

Rudy began to move inside you, his hips rolling against yours as he filled you. He felt like he was made for you; he wasn't too big or too short; he was perfect, filling you without hurting you.

The sound of your skins slapping against each other echoed in the room, along with your moans and gasps for air. "You feel so perfect. Rodolfo's thrusts became harder and faster, his cock hitting every spot inside of you that you desperately needed.

He reached around to grab one of your breasts, squeezing it as he continued to pound into you relentlessly. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too, Rudy." You never were the person for words of love during sex, but this was something else you wanted to capture his love and hide it inside of you forever, never letting go of him.

As he approached his climax, Rodolfo slowed his thrusts, allowing him to savor every moment. His hands tightened on your hips, and his breath was hot against your neck. He gently rubbed your clit." Come with me, mi amor," he groaned, pushing deeper inside.

Rodolfo's thrusts grew harder again, his cock hitting deeper as he lost control. His entire world centered around you; the feeling of your skin slapping together was the only thing that mattered. "Mi Amor," he whimpered your name like it was the only thing that mattered and released his hot seed inside of you, painting your walls white.

You whined, loving his cum inside of you; it was right there, and this alone made you clench around him and reach your climax. Desperately sticking your nails into his strong and broad shoulders.

Rodolfo grinned against your lips, his cock still hard inside of you. "I'll make sure to fill you up all the time time, Mi Amor," he whispered before kissing you deeply once more. He stayed inside of you for a few more moments, enjoying the feeling of being connected to you.

"Don't pull out, please."

"Still not enough, Mi Amor?"

"Of you never," he slowly began to thrust inside of you, trying not to go too fast because of your overstimulated cunt that still clenched him like a glove. His lips never left your body, placing little love marks all over your collarbone. You knew you were his- and he was yours.

The door opened. "Rodolfo, what are you doing with my sister?" Alejandro screamed.

- Fuck

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fairlyang · 5 months

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Valentine 🕷️

valentine by laufey but it's a little love story from your pov

w/c: 1K

pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader

tags: fluff fluff fluff

notes: this story gave me BUTTERFLIES IT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE- I wrote these after writing the beginning of my black cats and when I was going thru the shittest thing imaginable 😀

part two

I've rejected affection for years and years

Now I have it, and damn it, it's kind of weird

You'd never paid any attention to any of the men who gave you a second of their time. You'd remained single in your teens, and twenty up until you met him. Miguel O'Hara.

He changed it all, with all the romantic gestures and sweet words he'd tell you as soon as you met at your new job. He even continued it all after you gave him a smidge of a chance but not before having him chase you a bit, which he didn't mind.

He tells me I'm pretty

Don't know how to respond

You were new to this, you'd get complimented occasionally by strangers, but when he would compliment you it made you feel nervous. And it showed.

"You're so pretty." He said quietly while staring at you lovingly, sitting in your office. You felt your cheeks grow warm and you tried to focus on the paperwork you were working on. Your fingers were slightly twitching making your letters come off a little ugly.

I tell him that he's pretty too

Can I say that? Don't have a clue

You swallowed your nerves and looked up at him, "you're pretty too." You tell him then mentally slap yourself. Stupid. Do you even say stuff like that back?

He laughs and gives you a warm smile, his pearly whites coming straight to view. You felt a fuzzy feeling in your stomach and looked back down embarrassed, hearing him chuckle.

With every passing moment, I surprise myself

I'm scared of flies, I'm scared of guys

Someone, please, help

You were slowly giving in, which completely took you off by surprise. It scared you. Just the thought of letting yourself like him was scary. But he was so patient. And the romantic gestures didn't stop.

He'd leave you a cup of coffee with written notes every morning, complimenting you, telling you every detail he liked about you, how he was slowly feeling himself fall for you....

You started complimenting him back, always very nervously but he appreciated the thought and was happy you were getting comfortable with him.

'Cause I think I've fallen in love this time

I blinked and suddenly, I had a Valentine

After two months of chasing and then a handful of dates after the first month, he had asked you to be his girlfriend, specifically on Valentine's Day.

Time had gone by fast and it felt just like yesterday when you had first rejected him, and it never stopped nor discouraged him from pursuing you.

You looked at him as you walked past his office, feeling butterflies in your stomach, and felt as if your heart was full. Full of love.

What if he's the last one I kiss?

What if he's the only one I'll ever miss?

Your mind began to wonder of your future or more specifically your future with Miguel. You had never felt so happy, so attached to someone like this before.

You were wondering if he'd be your only boyfriend, your forever. The only person you'd have these feelings for.

Maybe I should run, I'm only 21

I don't even know who I want to become

You soon felt all the feels possible, there was no going back. Or was there?

You were still so young, only 21 and you were still unsure what your future held. What your future career would be, if Miguel would be with you through it all.

I've lost all control of my heartbeat now

Got caught in a romance with him somehow

Your heartbeat raced every time you were near him, heard his voice, felt his touch, or even got a text from him. You really didn't think this was going to happen.

I still feel a shock through every bone

When I hear an "I love you"

'Cause now I've got someone to lose

He was the first to say the special three words, two months after Valentine's Day. He set up a candlelight dinner in his apartment and after eating he grabbed your hands and looked up at you with his pretty sparkling eyes and said, "I love you."

It's been four months since then, now being August, and every time he'd say it your heart would just melt and you'd still be blushing like the first time. Those three words continued to send shivers down your spine and instantly bring a wide smile to your face.

You can't imagine life without him. You've grown so use to him taking you out on dates, spoiling you, giving you kisses, complimenting you, he was the perfect boyfriend.

The first one to ever like me back

You were laying on his chest when you thought of how many men you've liked in the past, but none of them have every liked you back. This case was different considering he had the patience to get you to open up and for you to like him back.

I'm seconds away from a heart attack

How the hell did I fall in love this time?

And honestly, I can't believe I get to call you mine

He was hugging you tightly making you felt like your heart was going to explode of joy. You felt so lucky and happy that you were able to open your heart up to him and that he let you love him like you let him. You hugged him back tightly, nuzzling your head against the crook of his neck, just enjoying his presence and feeling so appreciative to have him in your life.

I blinked and suddenly I had a Valentine

You woke up in his arms letting out a yawn as he stretched then planting a kiss on your forehead. He pulled away and gave you a tired smile before giving you a small peck. "Happy anniversary, my forever valentine." He whispers making you grin and kiss him softly.

"Happy one year my love." You whisper and gently kiss him, melting into his arms.

#Miguel ohara #miguel o hara #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara imagine #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel o’hara x y/n #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel x reader #miguel x you #miguel o'hara #spider man 2099 #Miguel ohara fluff

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desire-mona · 2 months

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things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)

heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such

the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.

related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!

ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.

this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.

"take your seats boys"

"🧍"

also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny

also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.

something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.

cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.

the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.

keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.

keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.

THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.

the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!

more on todd since im on a roll here.

i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.

the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.

anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.

#desire mona #media #i wanna drink this movie dude #and smoke it #and inject it into my veins #etc #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #charlie dalton #steven meeks #knox overstreet #richard cameron #john keating #banger

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faghubby · 3 months

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secrets out

My name is Paul (48) I been married to a wonderful woman Mary Beth (44) for twenty years. We have two wonderful daughters 19 and 17. We both have good jobs. Live in a nice neighborhood. The average person would believe we where the typical American dream family.

Well we are, well except Beth is very much in charge. Early in our relationship Beth saw me for what I was. A beta male. She natured this I learned to embrace Beth being in control. The first time she spanked me after I had embarrassed her in front of her friends by making a stupid joke. She grew creative in punishments. Often making me wear panties so I would remember she was in charge. Or clean the house. These soon turned into everyday events. Wearing panties 24/7 and housework, cooking, laundry all became my sole responsibilities. When our daughters where born I took time off of work to care for them. Beth had always been in charge in the bedroom. She had taught me exactly how to please her. But after our oldest was born I found it difficult to forfil her needs.

Beth immediately started to seek out men who could. I of course didn't argue. She just told me she had needs. She was discreet. She included me by telling me how these men pleased her. It didn't take long for her to convince me to orally please her after they had fucked her. Then again one night when she had let one cum inside her. Feeding me my first cream pie.

As I always did I excepted my new duty of lickimg her clean after her lovers where done. Even with all this she allowed me to pretend in public that although I was attentive I was her husband and an equal partner.

That changed when she made partner of her law firm.

" I am going to need you to retire. And focus on me full time" Beth told me. The morning after as I got out of the shower. I kept myself fit for her but she didn't want me to be some muscle bound jerk. Just lean and fit. Beth ran her hand across my chest.

"I don't want you pretending to be a manly either" Beth said rubbing her hands thru my chest hair with a frown.

"Beth I take care of you" I said softly. I had never raised my voice to her.

"All this hair gone, from the nose down" she said in her tone when it was not open for discussion. She then placed a pink velvet bag on the counter.

"Then you will put this on" she told me. I knew it was a chastity cage. We had played with one a few times over the years. Then she just turned and left. I found that Beth had already sent in my resignation using my phone. As I folooked her wearing just my robe.

"Beth can we talk about this?" I asked as I helped her put on her coat.

"Tonight if you are shaved and locked when I get home we can talk" Beth replied and kissed me as I handed her her lunch.

I went back to the bathroom and googled hair removal. I found hair removal cream in Beth's cabinet along with her razors. I spent the next two hours making sure I got every hair knowing Beth would expect perfection. I waited to lock on the cage. Instead cleaning up and prepping dinner. At lunch I got a text from Beth.

/wear sexy panties for me / is all it said. She was usually home by 530 so I went and put on the cage about 430. Both the girls where home.

/ will be late my new assistant has a big cock/

Beth called when she was on her way so dinner would be hot

" Paulie, this looks delicious" Beth said her hand slid under my shirt to feel my smooth stomach. She just smiled. As I served her and the girls. After dinner I cleaned up as usual only when my chores where done did I seek Beth out.i found her sitting on our bed.

"Beth, do you have time?" I asked. She put down her phone. I closed the door. She looked at me like she had no idea what I wanted to discuss

"About the cage" I started

"Is it too big? I can find you a smaller one" she told me.

"No it fits fine" I responded. " it's just that I thought we where past locking me up" I said with my head down.

"Look at me" Beth said I lifted my head and looked straight into her eyes.

"Now tell me you aren't excited" Beth said

"Well its" I started then fell silent.

"I would like you to learn to be more femine" Beth told me.

"I don't understand" I stuttered

"Yes you do" Beth said getting annoyed. I again fell silent.

"I am not asking you to become a woman. I am saying no more playing man" Beth told me. She pulled a pink box with a bow on it from under the bed. She held it out to me. I stepped forward and took it.

"Thank you" I said

"Well open it" Beth smiled patting the bed.i sat next to her and unwrapped it. Inside was pink satin pajamas.

"Try them on" Beth told me excited.

"Beth" I whined but her face told me not to argue. I stood and stripped. Beth watched.

"You look so cute with no ugly hair" she told me. I wore a pink thong as well. Beth smiled when she saw it as well. I put on the pajamas the pants fit tight the top was a spaghetti strap that plunged low to shoe off cleavage if I had any. Then a light matching robe to wear over it.

"Come here" Beth motioned me back to bed, she pulled back the covers to reveal she was naked from the waist down. She pushed my head between her thighs. After I had made her cum she cuddled with me. Making me take the small spoon spot.

"Do you remember when we went on vacation to Puerto Rico?" Beth asked as she rubbed my satin covered ass. I knew what she was talking about a few years ago she had pegged me with a strapon every night of the vacation.

"Yes" I wimpered softly.

"I know you do" Beth giggled my dick trobbing as it tried to grow in the tight cage.

"In the bathroom I left you another present, I like you to go try it and come back in here" Beth told me. I got up. I found a jeweled butt plug and a bottle of lube. I frowned but lubed it up and worked it into my ass. Beth sometimes made me wear a plug as punishment. I came back to bed. The plug was a little bigger then what I was used to. I crawled back into bed. Beth immediately pushed against the plug.

"I like you to let your hair grow. And I will help you soften your features" Beth explained. No reason to pretend since you no longer have to work" Beth explained.

"Beth you said you didn't want me to be a woman" I reminded her

"That's right, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about you being a man either" Beth told me. I slept with the plug in my ass and kept it in as I made her breakfast in bed.

"In my my car you will find several big bags of clothes. I removed alot of your old things. You can figure out your new wardrobe." I got up and retrieved the bags. I went thru them s Beth watched. I realized they where very gender neutral but mostly woman's clothes. Such as shirts that buttoned backwards or slacks with no pockets. There where also several sets of ladies pajamas. Along with tons of lingerie including bras and stockings.

Over the next few weeks Beth helped me figure out my new style. She added shoes and hand bags. Since I had no pockets. Every night she made me wear a plug she increased the size several times.

One night I was getting dressed for bed when Beth approached me with a big black strapon sticking out from her jeans. I didn't fight it as she bent me over the bathroom sink and fucked me with long hard strokes.

"Now that I know you have fully excepted your role. I think we can stop pretending you where ever a male. And throw the keys away" Beth told me as I moaned as she pounded my ass. Tears flowed from my eyes as the fear of never being unlocked hit me. Beth continued to fuck me with long hard strokes.

Now I wasn't male, nor was I female. I was just a beta. Beth taught me to be submissive to everyone. At first she pushed. She had me suck my friends cock. Or orally please one of her friends after a bad day. But it wasn't just sex. I found myself wanting to serve people. Often kneeling to remove visitors to our home shoes. First time I tried to do this to my father in law he freaked. BUT soon would tell to rub his feet as he sat in the recliner. I sucked my mother in laws feet once after Beth told her how much she loved it. It turned my mother in law on so much she took her husband to the bedroom. Beth often allowed our friends to use me however they wished. My old best friend would invite me over to clean his apartment as he played video games.

Beth gave me free range to run the house how ever i wished, but also encouraged me to except how i felt. If I felt girlie to wear a dress. If I felt manly to dress more manly. Even though my manly clothes weren't really manly. And I always wore panties although sometimes it was a sexy thong while other days pink boy shorts.

Our daughter's stopped calling me Dad. It just didn't fit. Instead I was just Paulie. And although I treated them like princess waiting on them hand and foot. They excepted me and often asked my advice on outfits or boys.

Beth even took vacations without me choosing to take a man with her. I was a sexless sissy. When we remodeled the house she even had them make me a small adjoining room so she could have me close but also privacy if she wished. I had no desire to sleep with a man. But did find myself attracted to their form as well as women. I know I will never be unlocked ever again. And I don't feel I want to be it feels li,e a distant memory.

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furiousgoldfish · 1 year

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As a kid, I used to believe that everyone had it worse than me, and it wasn't a self-imposed point of view. I was informed on a regular basis that I was lucky and had no idea how horrid life was for everyone else. I also was told how nothing good in life can come without the person paying for it dearly, or without the equal amount of suffering for it. So I always assumed, if I saw someone having it better very obviously, that there was a hidden amount of suffering I knew nothing about, and that would break me. And that I was luckier without that thing. And without knowing with what kind of pain it was paid for.

It was a while after escaping, that I started realizing that not only people don't have it worse by a large margin, but also that most people who have something I couldn't imagine, had it without any pain or sacrifice, but as their birthright. Family, for example. Friends. Human rights. Healthy childhood. Pets that are not used against you. Peers that don't bully, use or take advantage of you. Safety. Money they got from their parents as children, without having to work under horrible circumstances, that they weren't made to feel guilty for getting. And later, being able to work, being able to live pain-free, being able to live without having nightmares, flashbacks, and body that doesn't work. Most of what I've believed was a lie. There was a world of people who had things I couldn't dream of, who weren't hurt for it, who sacrificed nothing. Who could take it for granted.

It made me feel dreadful, the knowledge of just how disadvantaged, and naive I was. I didn't want to know that I had all of those things taken from me, that I was lied to and had everything I should have had scammed away, while believing that it was the only way. I didn't want this. I didn't feel strong for surviving without everything. I felt empty, robbed, helpless. Stupid.

And once I started noticing, everything became triggering. Seeing people use resources given to them carelessly, seeing them having people to rely on and people who will defend them, made me hyper aware of everything I don't have. Seeing people gently playing with their children would make me feel at ease for a second, because there was the relief that nobody needed to abuse their kids, and then later, I would break down just thinking how much it would mean to me if I had even a tiny little bit of that. If I had gotten one percent of that assurance, attention and gentleness, how it would have changed my entire life. It became unbearable. People became unbearable once the gap between me and them was visible.

So it became easier to be alone. If I don't see people having it easier, I can pretend that what I'm going thru is normal, and it's calmer that way. It makes socializing difficult, but being aware of how othered and different you are, is also difficult.

None of it was something I did to myself, or a result of any of my actions. I've been put into this situation without any way out of it. I know this when I'm alone, I understand I'm like this because of what was done to me, against my will. When I couldn't fight it, or didn't even know how to. I'm not responsible for this. But I do have to live with the consequences. And some of them are not fixable.

#child abuse #abusive parents #aftermath of abuse #aftermath of brainwashing #comparing to other people #isolation #why people become triggering #noticing the gap #sad post #i'm upset today :(

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meowticta · 4 months

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Uhh, lately i've been reading about cpunk, and guys i love yall, i think it's important to have a space for you, and people who also go thru things you also have, share experiences, etc, a mental condition/neurodivergence will never be the same as using a cane, a wheelchair, having a physical disability, yes for example autism can also have physical symptoms such as dyspraxia, but not because ur autistic ur physically disabled, also not everyone has dyspraxia.

but i also wonder if tourettes... is a part of it? ive been wondering this for many weeks.

like, i remember being very young, walking was an issue, people bullied me for it, sometimes couldn't even talk, because my tics interrupted me, i hit and scream and fall. body hurts when i hit myself, body hurts and is in pain and tired and wants to puke and nauseous after tic attacks that i only want to rest, a few weeks ago i had a tic in my arm that left me without sleep because i couldn't stop, i dont use .. a mobility aid, but i would consider it if tics get worse... lately it's not that bad, waxing and waning tics you know...

but i tend to hit myself a lot + pain + tired, tic attacks are coming again too.. a lot, i have one or two tic attack per 1-2 month i think which is way better than when i was younger (dealt with attacks almost every week..)

and i always wondered if tourettes was a physical disability, you know, it may seem silly andd stupid even, but professionals always told me it was neurological, nothing else, (and they were completely useless too... didnt gave me tips to handle it, therapists barely heard of it, did not give me any support other than a diagnosis and some medication thats all (medication which im grateful tho it helps me ton))

i dont... tend to call myself disabled because people look at me and dont think i am, and i get really scared w confrontation so i prefer not to .. say things like that, m also autistic btw, but thats another thing, i know autism disables me, but i dont know if tourettes disables me

it's been good years, i know some disabilities also have better days and worse days, but i feel like it's too much time for me, from 5+ or 5-months, i can have little to no tics, but they come back too anyways, and i'll be hitting myself and body will hurt.

sorry if this is stupid, only recently have been seeing tourettes being called a physical disability, and it changes how i see myself too

if you answer or read this thank u!

#actually tourettic #tourette's syndrome #tics #tourette #tourettes #tourette syndrome #cripplepunk #cripple punk #crip punk #cpunk #ticpunk #words are hard

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idontlikeem · 6 months

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tw incoherency self-pity and discussions of cancer and medical stuff surrounding it, honestly this is just me being so whiny and i just need to get it out, but i'm talking about actual medical procedures and etc in here so if that or me being a terrible self-centered daughter is going to trigger you please don't read because i'm not censoring this or making it palatable.

i have had a little bit of a fraught relationship with my mom for my whole life, as i think a lot of eldest/only daughters do. there was friction when i was a teenager, there were (are) body image issues thrust upon me, there were expectations and unfair standards and as the only girl a bit of sexism mixed in with it all...the usual, you know. but once i graduated college and grew up a little we've had a much better relationship. i've gotten better at letting her stray comments about my weight and life choices roll off my back (mostly), and she's trying to be less overbearing and critical. i talk to her a lot, and i want to share stuff with her.

she's stopped picking up when i call.

it's not every time, but it's enough that i'm noticing. it's enough that i text to follow up. it's enough that my throat gets tight whenever it happens. aaaaand it's enough to make me cranky and petulant when i don't get a reply.

i have this blue armchair i bought a few months ago. it was my first big furniture purchase after i got divorced that wasn't a necessity and was just something i wanted, and i love it. the problem is it was a discontinued model and color from ikea, so there was no ottoman/footrest that matched that i could buy, and i've been looking for something that was at least a close match ever since, because i'm tall enough that even a chair and a half is not comfy for me to sit on for long periods of time without somewhere to prop my feet.

and i finally found one! it's not perfect but it was inexpensive and i like how they look together, so that's all that matters. come thru target, i should have started there tbh. so i wanted to show her since it got delivered today and i was able to confirm it was a match.

i facetimed twice and she didn't answer, and i texted asking if she was busy with no reply.

i got mad! i got pouty and texted my friends about how my mom barely ever picks up when i facetime her anymore, and i always have to follow up and ask what's going on and if she can talk, and it's annoying to me. as i was doing that, i was texting my dad asking if she was ok.

turns out yesterday she was in the hospital all day getting fluid drained from her abdomen. the chemotherapy she'd been receiving since last fall has recently stopped working, and her blood markers are skyrocketing and the tumors are growing again. she's started a new treatment, sort of a hail mary, but if this doesn't work that's kind of it.

we've always been buying time, but i'd stupidly let myself sort of...i mean, i didn't think she was going to be cured, that's not possible, but when a treatment is letting her sort of seem better, feel better, be out in the world and doing stuff and closer to 'normal'...it's easy to lull yourself into a sense of denial, like 'oh this is just how it's going to be forever'.

stupid. of course it wasn't.

and meanwhile i'm sitting here reading my dad's text about the procedure, about how she had to get 2.75 liters of fluid drained out of her abdomen and she's probably going to have to get a drain re-installed so they can do it at home again (she'd gotten it removed early summer because of how well the chemo was working, the ascites was all but gone), and all i can think is:

i want to show my mom my stupid ottoman. i want her to say 'oh that looks great! isn't target the best? why do we ever shop anywhere else. oh and it has storage! you could put your hats and gloves in there, or maybe even some extra toiletries.' i want to chat about a fucking furniture purchase and listen to her talk about how she's going to try it out when she comes to visit me next. i want her to keep me on the phone for too long, to the point where i get annoyed and make up a meeting so i can hang up.

it's not fair. i want my mom to be my mom. she's sitting at home so exhausted and dying and this is all i can fucking think about. it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair.

#personal #tags for triggers:#cancer #chronic illness #family issues #trauma dumping into the void on tumblr dot com because my friends have their own shit and don't deserve to have me spewing this at them

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