#how am i supposed to get better when the professionals dont actually give a fuck unless you are actively dying
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yeah so I'm never getting better am I
#how am i supposed to get better when the professionals dont actually give a fuck unless you are actively dying#i feel so stuck#every time ive gone to the hospital i wait up to 16 hours#and then get sent home cause “well you didnt ACTUALLY try to kill yourself now did you. thats what we thought” bitch asses#want me to slit my wrist and spew blood all over ur pretty clean hospital walls for you to take me seriously?#i just want to be taken seriously not even my family thinks im serious#i dont know what to do anymore#ive been in therapy on and off for 13 years now and have made barely any progress#in fact ive just regressed#whatever im not making it past 25 who fucking cares anymore
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i have really bad health anciety and in genersl severe anxiety, ontop of ptsd, autism, and ocd and i dont Understand why the Fuck talking to anyone about my issues with any of the things i deal with, even a therapist, just..Does Not Work.
like..talking about my issues just makes my issues even Worse, but at the same time i need reassurance but getting said reassurance makes me more anxious and feel even worse and Guilty after a bit and i dont exactly know what to do and its frusterating as fuck.
I Want to tell friends but i dont want to like dump it all on them because im Bad with knowing when to stop talking because when im upset its hard for me to know when to stop talking because i cannot read social cues or subtext at all and thats a whole issue in itsself and i am just Overwhelmed as fuck about it
I don't know why either because it is not a professional on the area and I don't have the same personal experiences with it as you do. I think it would help if you asked the people you're talking to that they tell you if it becomes too much, and maybe discuss with a therapist how to actually get helpful therapy but also talk not necessarily about what happened but why you feel this way when addressing your issues. The thing is: completely opening up all of a sudden about your trauma is not the way to go, you should take it slowly. I did therapy for my issues with trauma and it requires different types of therapy (this one is called EMDR). There is also a process everyone goes through in therapy that when you face whatever you are going through, it's often very painful and distressing and it might make you not want to do it again. EMDR tackles this problem - the process of opening up and coping with things is very carefully done so it doesn't overwhelm you. Cognitive behavioral therapy is often practiced, but personally it doesn't help me as much as other types of therapy does and that is perfectly fine. There is DBT too that helps a lot with soothing myself. I forgot the name of the method my current therapist uses, but it works better. I don't it's healthy to put yourself in distress because what works for others doesn't work for you (which is okay because everyone's minds are different). Therapy is supposed to help, and it doesn't really help to feel so overwhelmed by talking about something that is so deep without building bridges between you and the therapist and going at it at your own pace and trying different methods of therapy too! You have a right to actually do therapy in a way that works for you, and to ask around until you find the right therapist. I know it may sound silly, but it does help me a lot to vent on my journal too. Some people do vent art too, and it gives them some release and I think it might help you, just don't vent a lot if it becomes overwhelming.
I know we are going through different things, and I hope you can find some relief, maybe none of what I said helps, maybe someone in the comments can help, maybe just sending this messaged help, but I hope it gets easier and less heavy. You don't deserve to carry this alone and in silence and I hope you find healthy ways to communicate that don't overwhelm you and that are adapted to your needs, because that is how treatment should be.
Idk anon. We're going through completely different things but I can relate to what you are feeling a lot.
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Could you do a Dire Crowley x Male teacher reader scenario nfsw please? I’m just in the mood now..
I dont take nsfw scenarios, only headcanons!! I’m sorry!! That’s probably my fault because I haven’t fixed the link for the rules ヾ(￣0￣;ﾉ I made this as a (kind of) general nsfw hcs but your relationship with Crowley is more of a fwb type!!
I hope this satisfies you still ٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑❀
Warnings: NSFW UNDERCUT!! MINORS DNI
Tags: semi-public, light restraints (mention), mild degradation, praise kink, male!reader
"...now, don't forget to turn in your essays on Thursday next week. Take note: it is a two-page, essay!"
You sighed at how eager your students left the classroom, knowing well that they couldn't wait for you to dismiss them anyway. Not that you mind. You're well aware that your students are tired for the day so you rewarded them with an early dismissal.
"No pushing and running out the door now! Show some respect for your subject teacher. Goodness!"
Ah, yes, the early dismissal was for another thing, too.
The Headmaster dropped by (literally) to provide "extra motivation" for students after classes. It was rather thoughtful of him to do so...if you weren't well aware of his other endeavors to have him flock to you after classes.
"What a kind sir you are, rewarding your students greatly!" Headmaster Crowley chuckled almost akin to a crow. You stacked your teaching books neatly to one side before turning around to meet the headmaster. Both of you nearly bumped noses with each other. Well, in this case, you nearly poked yourself in the eye with the beak of his mask. You smiled when Crowley composed himself but did not set a distance.
"And I suppose you would want a reward too?"
The sudden stiffness of his posture is enough of an answer.
You tilt your head at him, a smile that only Crowley can decipher. "Alright. Who am I to deny my gracious headmaster?"
➸ To make things clear between the both of you: you're more than friends but less than lovers. The students don't really know if you guys are dating or not. The juniors try to make it their business but failed to get any straight answers.
➸ The Headmaster is a switch, definitely, but leaning more towards being a power bottom. It's in his entire vibe. He may exude mysterious daddy vibes that can bend you over his office table and pound your ass but think about it--only bottoms TALK SO DAMN MUCH-
➸ Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't release bratty power bottom energy.
➸ He's got a mix of praise and degrading kink. With praise, he is willing to give it as he likes receiving it. You can see imaginary feathers ruffle up when he drinks in your honey praises. He loves it when you tell him what a good boy he is while you're stroking his hair. At the same time, he loves being called a rotten, perverted man as you tightly grip his hair.
➸ You actually didn't think he would have a degrading kink. You thought he'd be so into that but you observed with your sessions together that he deserves more praises than insults. You tried to balance the two but you realized that degrading him when he starts getting bratty then easing into praises is a better way to make him more pliable.
➸ Though, when Crowley praises you, he really sings them. He becomes a bumbling fool when he's under you, taking your cock (or his cock when you wanna ride him) eagerly and stammering praises of how good you feel and how amazing you are. He can make you blush by the eloquence of his compliments.
➸ Having sex naked is for rare and more intimate moments. Most of the time (and Crowley wordlessly insists) you both get frisky with only half your clothes off. You already know why ;)
➸ "There's something sexy about neckties, yknow? So sharp and elegant." | "Dire, if you have any particular interest in light bondage you can tell me."
➸ He's not wrong is he? Impromptu and light bondage is his preference. Even though he wants it to be done to him mostly, he'd still ask you if you're fine with a bit of restraints! If you are then get ready for a lot of flirting that involves tie pulling and tie bondage LMAO
➸ Another kink of his: he likes to gift you pieces of jewelry that you graciously wear yourself. He doesn't want you to take them off especially when you fuck.
➸ Fucking....crows.....
➸ He's a raven actually but-
➸ HE ALSO MAKES USE OF YOUR TITLE AS A TEACHER. HE CALLS YOU SIR. In every!! way!! he gets to!! You know he's a brat needing your attention when his sir sounds a little more than professional.
➸ You wonder where this man's decency is because he always wants to do it with you after classes or at his office. You indulge him anyways; grinding your arousal with each other, an intense and heated make-out session against the desk, until you pull away and tell him that you both should take it elsewhere lest your students walk in with. They do not need to be traumatized.
➸ Quickies and semi-public sex with Crowley hit differently when you two take it to bed, though. When you're out doing frivolous activities at school like two rowdy teenagers, there's this almost rebellious atmosphere, the thrill of doing the act. However, in private that atmosphere completely shifts and you'd find yourself wondering if there's any meaning to your intimate dance
➸ And when aftercare happens that warm feeling just grows. He always insists on taking care of you after sex. He does the equivalent of preening (from what you noticed) which is stroking your head and nuzzling your neck. He cleans you up from your neck down to your feet then bundles you in blankets. This level of comfort doesn't happen when you fuck at school but he makes it up by fixing your uniform and buying you food.
➸ You scold him when he takes too long cleaning around your dick though.
➸ Could you be more than friends that are not less than lovers? That's a conversation for both of you to tackle next time.
#detroitsmash#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst#dire crowley#headmaster crowley#dire crowley x reader#male!reader#twisted wonderland dire crowley#i hope youre still in the mood#idk what i just wrote ajfae
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Euphoria Season 2 Episode 8
Am I ready? No. It’s why I’ve put this off. But here we go.
Fez
Awe. He has flowers ready for her. So adorable.
Okay Faye cause that face wasn’t suspicious at all.
FAYE CAME THROUGH!!!
Ash. Be careful. His phone is recording. Fuck. Of course. Ash always ready to catch a body.
He wants a family. HE WANTS THREE KIDS WITH HER
Awe damn.
WAIT I LOVE ASH AND FEZ MOMENTS BUT THIS AINT WHAT I WANT
Oh fuck. I’m not ready. I’m not ready. WHY DO THEY LET THE CHARACTERS WE LOVE SUFFER AND LEAVE THE ONES WE DONT LIKE ALONE
Ash. Put down the gun. Please. Don’t do this. My heart can’t take it.
ASH BABY NOOOOO
FEZ!! Shit he got shot.
What did his note to Lexi say?
Ash stop. Just come out!! Please don’t do this to me and Fez.
Fuck. Ash. Why did you do that?
NOOOOOOOOO NOT IN FRONT OF FEZ
They better not show me his body.
Lexi
I feel so bad for her. Her night is ruined cause her sister’s a hoe.
Is her name Bobby? I like her. A lot.
Good for her. Got back out there.
Wait does she know about Fez’s issues?
Poor Lexi. Just constantly seeing people she cares about in the hospital.
See? Something good came of the play.
Cassie
You a bitch. One who needs professional help.
Oh damn. Even her mama knew shit was about to go down.
Bitch. Shut the fuck up. You did all of this to yourself.
I wouldn’t say anything to Maddie right now. Let it go.
Maddie
GET HER ASS MADDIE
LMAO BB (that is her name right?)being her hype man.
Damn Maddie I said beat her up not bust her head wide open.
I’m glad she told her. Like “yeah the best revenge I could give, is saying it ain’t over for you yet.”
Rue
Uh. Rue. Sweetheart. Why do you need to forgive him? Because he told your mom? Shit needed to be said.
I’m confused as to why he’s singing? I know he’s a singer in real life but….what narrative sense does it make? Is it because he likes Rue and this song is supposed to be about her.
Are we still on this truth or dare shit?
Rue needs to focus on her. Not start new shit.
AWE LOOK AT RUE BEING A GOOD FRIEND!!
I think watching that play was cathartic for her. But don’t tell me she’s about to kill herself and this is her way of thanking Lexi and assuring her it’s not her fault/thanking her.
Not Rue being wise and having actual points.
No. Stay away from Jules. And Jules, stay away from Rue. Y’all aren’t good for each other.
That felt like a goodbye kiss.
Nate
Who the fuck is he about to go kill? Himself? His dad? WHO?!
Nate you really need help. Seek it. You have anger issues for real. Don’t kill him. I mean I don’t like him but shit.
Yes. He is happier cause he ain’t around you.
Like I said. Seek help.
He hated you, BECAUSE YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH
Why does Nate always get what he wants? Why does he get to be happy/victorious?
Miscellaneous
It’s about Fez to start. This would’ve made me nervous but someone spoiled it for me so…. That’s another reason it’s taken me so long to do this post.
THAT STAGEHAND “I don’t know I’m panicking. Go away”
But seriously. How did this get approved? What was the budget?
Wait. How we go back to the funeral and Rue’s speech after I just watched that? How dare they.
Wait so when did this play take place? Cause some of the shit in the play supposedly happened after the play.
LMAO Kat in the middle of them like a mediator.
Is it a season finale if Zendaya doesn’t sing?
It was spoiled for me but I still was not ready. That shit was wild. It was the first episode I actually cried at.
Wait what happened with Laurie? Not seeing her makes me nervous. She ain’t gonna forget the money Rue owes her.
#euphoria hbo#euphoria#kat euphoria#rue bennett#lexi howard#cassie howard#maddy perez#fezco#fezco x lexi#ashtray#😭😭 My heart is SHREDDED#faye euphoria#she was a real one#fuck nate jacobs#nate jacobs#cal jacobs#i’m still in shock#this shit was crazy#season 2 episode 8#season 2#episode 8#I think that’s all of them
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Seasons.
originally was supposed to be "Wilted" but fuck it
second angst lessgo ;D middle pics are always the best (｡ì_í｡)
clowns/note: ppl like my angst more than my fluff so uh yuh- gimme follow to support tankiew (´▽`) btw i just got my taito 2021 sakura miku figure in the mail today so this boosts my motivation >:)
Genre: Angst (with a really dumb plot twist (ノ-ㅅ-)ノ)
Pairings: Kōzume Kenma x gn!reader
!reminder [ALL genders (including males) are allowed to read my fics <3]
I DID NOT PROOF READ SO CRI
The petals of the cherry blossom trees around you sway slowly onto the pavement. The pavements now that are covered with wilting petals to start a new season that were once walked along with him. Him, being your "boyfriend", your "partner", your... "significant other". Frankly, he used to be actually. But you were now walking with someone else. Someone who might actually make your life better. Well lets cut the bullshit and move into the story that will most likely make no sense whatsoever.
.......
"14.08"
He should be here by now. It's been 2 hours. The park was beautiful as it was spring, your favourite season. You did'nt get why he was so against going on a date that day when //obviously// you were both dating and he hardly spends time with you. You managed to convince him to meet you there. You had a whole day planned; arcades, figure shopping and lunch. But he was still late. "I really cant stay for long, I'll text you later tho, babe.", you heard a familiar voice. Almost too familiar. (Mmm i love overrated drama scenes </3) "Kenma?", you stood infront of the dark-haired girl and your.. boyfriend..? If you can still call him that Holding hands and sharing an ice cream (🚗🍦👩🏼) at a bench. "So this.. this is why you couldnt spend time with me anymore?" You were livid. Livid the fact you were cheated on. "I-I kitten wai-" "Kitten?", the dark haired girl cut him off. "Yes, I'm his girlfriend.", you glared. "You've been two-timing me??", she got up pointing at him. "What? But he's been two-timing me tho??", both looking at him with cold eyes and bitter expressions equally wanting an explanation. "I.. uh.. well-", looking at the ground then the both of you being cut off by "Save it, motherfucker." and a slap from the girl before dragging you with her.
"Hey! Whats the big deal??"
"How long have you been dating... h i m..?", refusing to say his name like its a disease whilst letting go of your hand. "Not sure why I have to tell you but.. 3 years.", shrugging and looking at the grass. "Well, I've been dating him for 5 years. I dont think you knew though so I dont really blame you honestly.", she said fiddling with the ends of her skirt. "Huh? Arent you.. mad?", with furrowed brows when she laughed. "I kinda saw the signs so it felt good to slap him in the face. I mean, the pixie-dick had it coming right?", grinning at you when you laughed at her remark. "Actually, I'm G/N (Girl's/Name). Courtesy of the one who once belonged to 'he-who-shall-not-be-named' and a professional crackhead", giving a gentleman-like bow. "Well I, am Y/N (Your/Name) of the lowly ex who is now cursed as a stray cat who's eating his ice cream alone as he should.", taking her hand and curtsy-ing with an oh-so sarcastic smug expression. "I think this is gonna be one fucking interesting, if you can call it, 'friendship' dont you think", she implied with air quotes. Laughing, the flowers of spring wilts to express that a new season is starting. One filled with interesting discoveries to be made with your new friend.
.......
Maybe. Maybe life isnt so bad after all.
This has 0 fuckin shit that had any context but oh well, if you wanna request angst or fluff dont be shy, im socially awkward too (*˙︶˙*)☆*° i kinda had no idea on what to post :^) anyways check my pinned post for cool shit ;) pls stay hydrated, healthy and safe!! you are LOVEDD <33
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu angst#haikyu angst#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x f!reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu x m!reader#kenma#kenma kozume#kenma angst#kenma x gender neutral reader#kenma x gn!reader#kenma x fem!reader#kenma x male reader#random#as fuck#im lonely lol
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the hell is mystreet season 6??
(warning, long post ahead)
ok so before i start this
1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end
2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember
3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares
4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics
5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.
haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass
ok here we go
one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.
anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.
one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.
like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see
and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused.
side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk.
the actual thingy:
ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:
-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck
-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline?
-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT
-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest.
-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me
-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters
-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes
-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming
-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee
-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’
-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever
-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I
-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity
-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)
-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn
-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad
-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point
-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane
-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all
-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol
-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:
a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.
b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.
c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.
d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained
now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)
but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.
and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more
anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk
#in conclusion i hate it here#lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls#anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??'#aphmau#mcd#mystreet#minecraft diaries#please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly#garroth ro'meave#zane ro'meave#aaron lycan#kawaii chan#kim mystreet#laurance zvhal#pls i have no idea how to tag posts#rant
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can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)
this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest
so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century
the meeting <3
so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor
though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting
different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5
one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor
and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor
it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://
so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich
guess who else comes?
YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!
despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone
he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs
he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay
he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah
ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there
he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?
yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...
and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business
but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7
could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?
kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”
my my... you love hearing that dont’cha
but u were like “thanks” 😐
he’s like sheesh
and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”
kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???
spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3
look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school
god, you felt so comfortable
and he was SO hot.... WTF
but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS
this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby
yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association
this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere
hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...
safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰
and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.
the relationship <3
first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food
second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR
you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.
people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??
he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov
eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings
when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen
the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭
but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)
eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...
and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary
the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore
but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.
you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour
the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u
kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏
you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo
they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague
you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries
but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments
you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too
your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first
but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3
you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call
and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have
even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour
you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed
you’ve moved in lol
kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls
the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT
and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work
when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space
when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him
kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭
so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”
you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”
he’s like “cool. cool.”
proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work...
but u love him anyway 🥰
and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...
he sees you with him for a long, long time
and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.
#haikyuu x reader#kuroo x reader#hq x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu fluff#kuroo headcanons#kuroo fluff#kuroo tetsurou
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Outlast Gang Bang 1 (One Shot) Various X OC Sissy Mark
(marks pov)
I cover my ears the sirens blaring as the lights flash.. patients ran around as I try to find someone I knew. The priest most likely, Dr. tragger. maybe Christ. He must be scared. Then the twins, then..then Frank and then Eddie.
I walk through the halls calling their names, desperate to find them as I continue to call out for them, going into room after room as I see the priest as I ran over. "father, father your okay!"
"Mark, Mark come with me. It's dangerous."
"No I have to find the others, my patients and Dr. Tragger. I cannot and will not leave them to suffer." I say. "Do you know where they are? I need to make sure they are all okay."
(Ooofff poor mark has no idea what is about to happen XD)
"come, they are in the chapel." He said as he lead me to it, and he was telling the truth they were all there, however he shut the door suddenly
"What are you doing?" I ask confused as he locked the chapel doors.
He didn't speak as tragger suddenly walked up and grabbed me. His one hand on my waist...the other one on my legs.
"He's just ensuring you can't run anymore buddy." He said, a smirk on his face
"Run? Why would I run? I am just helping patients." I say confused.
However his hands suddenly trailed up. "You've been running away from us since the start buddy, you think I didn't notice that you'd ask to change shifts?"
"That was so I could sleep in." I say. "Why does it matter?"
I suddenly jerk as his hand went down my shrubs pants
"Wh-What are you doing!?!" I demand to know scared as he jerks my cock making it stir.
I felt odd, I was scared as I tried to back away but Father Martin held me steady.
(Man he's not beating around the bush ..but he is beating marks Meat)
(XD)
I groaned and felt him jerk me off to full hardness. I still tried to get away but their grips only tightened more when I did that. I groaned and then he moved his hand down and slip a finger over my clit. I groaned and shudder.
"So your file was right you have a cunt to~" He says grinning.
My eyes widen. "Please--" I was cut off when he pushed a finger between my lips, not deep but still was uncomfortable.
I whine softly and tried to pull away
He didn't enter any further as he pulled away, but his hands suddenly move to my chest.
"I wonder, are you more feminine or masculine under here?" He said.
"G-Guys.." I moan out.
"Tragger stop hogging her." I hear Chris say and I look at him shocked
He... wasn't going to try and save me?
"I'm not just.. examining her~" he said as he pulled my scrub shirt off as I went red in the face.
For a girl I was small.. but I'm not a girl, I'm a boy, and yes, I grew some breast tissue. Maybe a small B cup..
"Nice cut little breasts~" He says and leans down taking off the wrapping I had on them.
The wrapping fell to the ground as I blushed darkly only to cry out as he pinched the nipple. I cried out as my chest was always sensitive.
"don't you think her chest is nice...Eddie~?" Trager asked as I tried to get out of their grips as Eddie walked up.
"A bit small, but nice and perky~" He says and licks my other nipple. "They will get bigger when she is filled with my seed~"
I shudder at that knowing this was wrong and yet..
"Well don't worry Eddie buddy, her toys were an a when she came last year, and I've got some special medications of course." Tragger asaod as Eddie smirked.
"T-They aren't small.." I mutter, why that was the point that annoyed me, I don't know. A b cup isn't that small..
"They are adorable though just like my darling~" he says smiling at me it made me feel warm
However I tried to cut that thought out of my head as his hands grazed against the nipple causing me to let out a surprised jerk
"And oh so sensitive~" He purrs twisting it gently.
I let out another jerky spasm as he pulled down my pants, completely ignoring my cock as he rubbed my lips, his lips biting on my nipples. "Perhaps one day we can experiment with some nipple rings for you~" he said as I feel Mattson let go of me. I could run..but I didn't..as Christ came up behind me, I feel his large hands suddenly grasp my ass. They weren't fucking me...they were just teasing me both with their grasps and their words.
(Because you're a slut that gets off being talked dirty to and told your a whore, and that's what they are gonna do, Gott loosen you ;))
(XD Mark is a sissy slut XD)
Chris gripped my ass with one hand and my chest with the other massaging both. I couldn't help it the loan I tried to desperately to hold back came out, I've never felt more powerless..or this good. He smirked and started to kiss down my neck and bit my shoulder. I cried out and with Eddie fingering came hard from both my cock and woman hood.
He pulled away slow looking at his hands. "I'm not one for men." He said. "But I am one for making you cum~" he said as suddenly the others walked over.
"Alright alright two to start to not overwhelm him." Trager said. They weren't serious..
"We need our turn first." One twin said. Tom the one with the hair says.
"Yes we do." Tim adds
"the others don't know him as well as we do."
"Yes." Tim agree. "We known him the most and longest
They suddenly move forward as I they smirked at me. Tom bent me on my hands and knees and Tim kisses me my first kiss. I feel him grip the side of my face. The kiss was hot, passionate, and messy as he looked at me as I panted, drool still connecting our mouths.
"Mm... think I know.how to make this better." He said as he grabbed my bag as I was confused, his brother just smirking as he walked over.. with my makeup bag, roughly grabbing my face as he took out my lipsticks he seemed to be stuck between the hot pink and bright red.
They went with the bright red and he had me put it on as well as my mascare and eyeliner. After that was done I see Tim had removed his pants and tom stuck his tongue in my ass.
I let out a shocked cry as my legs try to kick him away. "g-get off!"
Tim looked at me and smirked. "Why don't you put on a show for us~? And them? If you do, we'll go as easy on you as you need." (Don't trust him) he whispered in my ear.
"L-Like what?" I moaned. back as he placed a finger on my bottom lip.
"Oh..a sultry, sexy professional who is a total sissy slut but poorly hides it." He whispered as I looked confused but I already had agreed when I humored the idea.
"O-ok--oh! N-No stop! T-That's the wr-oo~" A genuine moan slipped out as I gather my nerves once more."th-the wrong hole! T-This is unacceptable behavior towards your h-head nurse!" I snap. And part of it was how I truly felt but something in me..felt excited.
"We do what we want with sissy sluts like you~" Tim says and rubs his cock against my lips I could tell he was going to take it slow. "Now lick my cock like a lollipop head nurse~"
I almost did.. bit I stop myself.
"T-There's no way I'd lick that.. that thing." I said and I wasn't lying. "I wouldn't ever want to lick that dirty, disgusting ..huge.. thick ..cock.."
"Then we will just have to punish you~" Tom says and bites my ass and I yelp.
Tim starts to jerk off his cock occasionally smacking it against my cheeks and I moaned as he did and soon he came thick ropes of cum on my face and smearing it into my cheeks.
I let out a moan as he suddenly pushed it against my face once more.
"Come on you sissy, look at it. This is what a real man's cock is like. get a good look,because your cock will never be like this." He said smearing it against my cheek as my body suddenly shuddered, my cock and womanhood feeling weird..
"T-That's s-so cruel to say to your superior.." I said trying to not let my voice change.
(Oof mark being a superior. The only thing he's superior at is being a masochist who can cum while only sucking a cock)
(AMEN XD)
"You better star licking it or my brother here will fuck you senseless without any lube~" He orders and that made me shudder more.
"F-Fine you disgusting man~!" I say.
I look at the cock as I give a kiss to the head before licking up the shaft as I let out a moan when he brother would roll his tongue inside of mebefore he suddenly retracted as I ha e a confused look.
"Look at you, being a good slut." "You call yourself our superior, you're supposed to watch us and make sure we are safe, and here you are, taking orders from us. It's rather pathetic isn't it Tim? No wonder she dresses like a girl, she's not a man at all" he states as I kept licking the shaft as I actually shudder at the insult.
It was turning me on so damn much and I could feel my cock ache. "Her big cock is a lie to what she really is a sissy slut begging to be teased." Tom says.
I moaned as I was closer than ever.
However I tried to keep in the role but it was so hard..
"I think she's actually getting off to it and she hasn't even put your cock in her mouth."
I glared at him. "That is enough Ti-"
He cuts me off shoving his cock in my mouth. I let out a choked gag as he gripped my hair.
"sissy sex toys don't speak." He said.
"I think underneath all this is a whore who can't wait to be fucked up the ass, in nice frilly outfits, we'll even set some new rules what do you think Tom?"
"Oh I know she was born an anal slut. I agree though Tim. No standing to pee being one of them, with supervised bathroom trips just to make sure." He said as my fave burned red as I let out a whine. To have no control of how I went to the bathroom..to be told that they'd be making sure, taking any masculinity I had from me..it somehow aroused me as I only realized I was bucking my hips forward
"I think he finally wants something in her slutty ass~" Tim says.
"I agree~" Tom says with a smirk. "Ready for my cock you nasty slut~"
I look back at Tom as I couldn't help but pull from Tim's cock, giving a lick to it before answering.
"G-Give it to.me~.dont hold back~" I moan
He smirked and thrust in hard I cried out and Tim thrusts in my mouth again. They were now spit roasting me. I let out a loud moan into their crotch. Spit hung out the corners of my mouth as he would thrust in when Tim would thrust out, never lea I g me empty.
"Look at her, she's a total natural~"
"what about her sweet little bussy."
"Mmmphh,", I try to tell them no but it just came as a moan
"Nice a tight~ fits like a damn glove two sizes to small~" he moans. "Can't wait to fill it up~"
I felt so full..and it was just two fingers inside of me. I let out a loud moan pulling away from his cock as I rub my cheek against the dripping, slimey member, moaning at the feeling of being less than.
I almost could take it I needed to cum so bad~! It was all I wanted right now~
"Hm? What's this?" He asked a smirk on his face as I moan.
"I-I-I love your cock." I said as I kissed it as he smirked.
"do you think a sissy like you deserves to have such a nice cock ramming into her nasty slutty mouth?" He asked his tone making me shudder and clench around Tom.
"No but please! Give it to me! So me how much of a cock sleeve I am~!" I beg
He looked at me for a moment as he kissed me again. And although it seemed rough..it was so gentle. . Like he was making sure I didn't actually think that low of my self. He slowly pulled away only to lay his heavy, hot, twitching cock on my forehead.
"Well get to making yourself worthy." He said as I knew what he was implying he wanted me to do. "And don't forget to worship them, letting everyone hear how much you love them."
(Gag)
(Gags)
I started to lick his balls and mentally gaged I did not even kick my own balls. Why would I want to suck his but that is exactly what I did taking both into my mouth. I suck on him, feeling Tim's hand push against my clit as I moaned as I kiss and lick him before pulling up to the base, kissing, licking, biting at the shaft, smearing my lipstick.
He groaned and Then pulled back cumming on my face and I feel Tom cum on my ass I was drench in cum.
"Who is next?" Tim asks and I fall to the floor they could not be serious.
#yandere#yandere outlast#yandere outlast whistleblower#yandere eddie#yandere eddie gluskin#yandere dr tragger#yandere richard tragger#yandere rick tragger#yandere twins#yandere father martin#yandere chris walker#Chris Walker#eddie gluskin#outlast#Outlast Whistleblower#yandere various#yandere one shots#richard trager#the twins#father martin#various#various x oc#the twins x oc#eddie gluskin x oc#Male oc#sissy male#chris walker x oc
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BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.
I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol
"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"
"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."
"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"
"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."
"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."
"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"
"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"
"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."
"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."
"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."
"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"
"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."
"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."
"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"
"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"
"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"
"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"
"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"
"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"
"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"
"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"
"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"
"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"
"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"
"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"
"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."
"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"
"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"
"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."
"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"
"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"
"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."
"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."
"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"
"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."
"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"
"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"
"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"
"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"
"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦♀️"
"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"
"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."
"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"
"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"
"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"
"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"
"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."
"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."
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creating this at the behest of a friend who may or may not just want to stop listening to me. cannot entirely blame them as i wouldnt want to listen to me either always complaining but it really piles onto my feeling that im not that close to anybody. today, and i dont know if this is what im really upset about or just a broken shoelace, i lost a writing contest over a script that i've been working on and off on for about a year. i did not expect to win necessarily, but the year before this i was a finalist in the same contest with a script i had spent only a few days on. im pretty devastated rn. i thought this would be a chance to get a foot in the door of professional comics, or at least a big ego boost, and i got fucking nothing after months and months and months of work and honing this story. i cant even think of anything i should have done differently, my story was good my presentation was incredible there were fewer contestants this year than last year i went the extra mile and threw in an entire edited polished script along with my pitch document and pitch video, i did a fucking somersault at the beginning just to get these anglo fucks' attention and i got nothing. this creative shit isnt working out at all. ever since i was a kid i just wanted to be some kind of artist, the particulars changed every couple of years. i wanted to be a novelist for a while, a filmmaker, a musician, blah blah fucking blah. ive been working the last two years writing short stories and comics, over and over, i spend countless nights just writing and editing and reading more so i can get better ideas and for fucking what. the short story market out there is abysmal. i cant even submit to most anthologies bc theyre so idpol focused that only 1/3 of them accept manuscripts from straight white guys, and the ones that do accept have only 1/2 a chance of responding to you at all when they reject you, and maybe 1/20 of the ones that send a rejection email actually give a reason why, even if a brief one. i've sent out about 100 submissions for a dozen or so stories in the last few years and i've only sold two to two of the smallest magazines that nobody's ever heard of. one of them went bankrupt immediately after the issue in which they horribly misprinted my story (1/3 of it got cut somehow "accidentally"), and the other one is a small run new zealand gimmick theme publisher that i actually lost money on just ordering myself a copy of. maybe it was a fucking scam, idk. but they only made $5. I've made less than $30 selling fiction unless that haunted doll counts and i'm fucking miserable. I'm keeping up other creative hobbies that are going nowhere too. I just finished and released an hour long album a few weeks ago that i put two fucking years of my life into planning, writing, recording, editing, re-recording, mastering, promoting. I've worked harder on this album than anything else i've ever actually released and i think maybe only 4 people in total have listened to it. My closest friends have given it a cursory glance. i dont make art entirely for attention but how the fuck am i supposed to keep going if im getting kicked in the ribs any time i put anything out. nobody ever reads my stories, when i get rejected i never find out why, nobody ever listens to my music. the joy of creating in itself is really slipping from me. nobody really cares about me. my friends keep insisting that they do but i dont know if they do much to show it. im an obvious third wheel half the time. my dad broke a 3 year sobriety. i swipe on bumble every day and havent gotten a like in weeks even though friends have told me that i look good. my grades are slipping. i'm out of work. i have no job prospects or any sort of prospects in general for the future. i haven't been in a relationship of any kind in almost two years. i havent been in a happy relationship since fucking high school. i have neither the time nor money for therapy. therapy has never worked for me in the past anyway. i am really considering suicide for the first time in a long while. i dont really
take any joy in anything anymore. even momentary physical pleasure like masturbating and eating unhealthy food feels like absolutely nothing. i feel scared all the time. i feel like im gonna get screamed at or beat up at any second, mostly from my dad but also from strangers. i feel like im always about to be verbally chastised by my friends. it kills me that i cant see things objectively, only from this shakey nervous point of view that i know is most of the problem. i cant help it. i dont know if ive forgotten how to socialize with people or if i never knew to begin with and im only losing my illusions now. i really dont feel like living. i havent felt good in years. not truly good, maybe not since i was 12. the last time i felt generally vaguely happy like everything was mostly okay was when i think i was 16. im never going to be a great artist. ill probably never have a girlfriend i actually care about. i find most people incredibly boring or cruel. ill never really know if my friends like me, or why they even tolerate me. im writing this while putting off an important essay i've barely started. my friends seem to get so much love and notoriety for the smallest artistic efforts. i feel too stupid to read whatever theory and manifestos it is i have to read in order to make things like they do for the people they do, but i dont even want that for myself. i just want to write comic books and short sci-fi stories and im too fucking retarded or hopeless to even do that for an audience larger than myself. im really really fucking hopeless, i really dont want to keep living if this is all life is. i have no reason to believe that there is anything else. most people cant stand to be around me and i dont like myself either, i cant stand being in the same body with me, i hate having to think my thoughts. i hate being stuck inside myself. i think im going to cry again. i guess ill put off the rest of this important essay for tomorrow and collect my B- with all the other fucking midwit nobodies.
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A Cup of Something Better
Ch6: With Friends Like These
Connor had come to the conclusion that the powers at be in the universe had it out for him. After his darling little brothers had both refused to provide help, he had turned to the staff group chat for Hand Brewed Hope. Which, in hind sight, had probably been a mistake. That was how he wound up working his second afternoon shift in as many days. Currently he was on his break, looking over the conversation trying to see where he had gone wrong.
The Coffee Crew:
RunawayArkait: I have a problem
Northern_Lights: of the bear variety.
Northern_Lights: we know. But I take it something happened.
RunawayArkait: two somethings actually
RunawayArkait: turns out he is my English professor, and I may or may not have made him think I was my twin.
Northern_Lights: CONNOR!
SimonSays: omg Connor, no...
What.Josh.Does: if I may ask, why?
RunawayArkait: I panicked. He asked if I worked at a coffee shop and I said yes. Then I pulled the twin card.
RunawayArkait: all this after pacing out during the lecture.
SimonSays: North was right.
What.Josh.Does: How do you plan on fixing it?
RunawayArkait: I was actually hoping you guys could help me.
Northern_Lights: he comes in during the afternoons right?
Northern_Lights: Swap shifts with me. I'll work with Simon and Josh can be your back up.
What.Josh.Does: North, you do realize that requires waking up early right?
Northern_Lights: that is a sacrifice i am willing to make for the sake of love
Northern_Lights: None of you can say I'm not nice
SimonSays: Josh can even work the counter so you don't have to deal with him directly
RunawayArkait: you guys sure about this?
SimonSays: of course! go get him.
What.Josh.Does: I'll have your back so dont worry.
Northern_Lights: you got this!
Right. He'd asked his coworkers for help. He tapped out another message before heading back to work.
RunawayArkait: this was a stupid idea. We don't even know if he's gonna come back
Connor took a deep breath and left the break room taking his place behind the bar. Josh as promised, was working the register so Connor was making drinks and making easy conversation with customers as he worked. Mid shift there was finally a lull in customers, giving Connor some time to try and reign in his anxiety.
"So your professor huh?" Josh asked giving a playful smile, "a little old to be crushing on teachers aren't we Connor?"
"In my defense," Connor started. "I didn't know at the time." His eyes were trained on the stain on the bar he was scrubbing at, "he was just an attractive guy with a terrible taste in coffee."
"And now he's your attractive professor who still has bad taste in coffee." Josh remarked with a laugh that only confirmed Connor's belief that his friends were only helping him so they could delight in his misery.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." The bell above the door chimed signaling it was time to act like adults again, "heads up there's a-"
Connor choked on the rest of his words. The resulting sound was a combination of what could have been a word and the sound of a squeaky toy when it dies. Professor Anderson had just come in, he had his fading blonde hair tied back away from his face and black square framed glasses on. Connor couldn't be blamed for his reaction, but it was still mortifying. The professor was wearing an almost neon blue shirt with palm trees all over it, his fashion tastes not being much better than his tastes in drinks. Josh looked at Connor and quirked a brow as though to say 'really, this is the one', but when the professor arrived at the counter the professional mask was firmly in place.
"Hey. Welcome to Hand Brewed Hope, what can we get started for you?"
"I'll take a medium vanilla latte with two shots of espresso." His drink had less espresso to it today, but then again the professor did look a little more awake today.
Josh nodded putting the drink in the system before passing the marked cup to Connor to get started on, "Connor will have that down at the other counter for you when its done."
Professor Anderson nodded and walked to the pick up counter after paying. Connor set about making the drink, glad it was at least a little less atrocious than its predecessor.
"So, uh, Connor was it?" He asked, getting the barista's attention.
"Yes professor?" Connor responded automatically.
Wait. No. Fuck.
Well there went that fucking plan. So much for not making a fool of himself.
"Well that answers that I suppose," Professor Anderson said amicably sending Connor a slight smile.
Connor nodded, not sure if he could speak without embarrassing himself further. He put the finishing touches on the latte and handed it off, "Have a good rest of your day professor."
"You too kid." He said raising the latte in a mock toast.
Josh at least had the decency to wait until the professor had left before he broke down into uncontrollable laughter. "Connor," he wheezed, once he had caught enough air to speak. "What was that?" And then he was gone again.
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Connor covered his face with his hands like covering the embarrassed blush would send the embarrassment itself away, "I was put on the spot, and I panicked."
"North is gonna die when she hears about this." Josh was taking deep measured breaths in an attempt to compose himself, "You've got it so bad. I've never seen you like this before."
Connor, for his part, wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole, "it was the hair and glasses. I wasn't ready for him to look so put together."
"I got that impression when you made the sound of an abused squeaky toy." Josh put a hand on Connor's shoulder, grounding him to the movement, "If its of any consolation. I didn't see a wedding ring. So it can't go any worse than you last crush Con."
"Josh! We agreed to never speak of that again!" Connor groaned, his embarrassment was going to kill him one of these days.
"I try my best." Josh grinned, "here, as an apology you can work register for the rest of the shift."
"Thanks." Connor said dryly.
Thankfully the rest if the shift passed without any incident. Which Connor was glad for. He wanted to go home and decompress. Hopefully he could make himself into something other than a human disaster by the time his classes rolled around.
#A Cup of Something Better#dbh#d:bh#d:bh hank#hank anderson#hank x connor#hankcon#hannor#dbh hannor#rk800#connor rk800#connor#dbh connor#d:bh connor
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i have some feelings about how people treat age (i am thirty for complete transparency) and its ~nuanced~ but not really as nuanced as people think it is? these are my perspectives as a 30 year old survivor and educator. this is kind of rambly and doesnt have a conclusion, i just wanted to get it out of my head.
lets talk maturity like adults, especially those over the age of 21, have enough experience to know that their feelings and mindsets are vastly different than that of someone who is 15, 16, or even 17 or 18. i still remember what it felt like to be 12, i still remember what it felt like to be 15, and i still remember what it felt like to be 17, 20, 25...and honestly i wouldnt go back lmao. im MUCH more mature today than i was then.
the older you are the more life experience you have to know what is and isnt right. you learn how to deal with people simply because youve had more time to do so. in that sense, the older an adult is, the more of an ‘edge’ theyre going to have over a minor. so you can never have an equal relationship because you just know too much.
on the other hand, i think theres this stigma against older people that goes beyond looking out for childrens well beings and goes right into ageism. i have this theory that most people have no idea what a 30 year old is supposed to look like. most people assume im in my early 20s for a bunch of reasons...either its my looks or my interests or whatever but i think there is this narrative that someone over the age of 30 must be married, popping out children, buying a house, working on their career, and definitely not doing silly things on the internet. 30 year olds are ‘serious.’ ‘mature.’ something that simply does not apply to me as a personality trait, but because time has passed i have to BECOME another person....i dont get that.
in my professional life i have a lot of contact with teenagers. i talk to my teenage students like theyre adults because i dont think theyre idiots. i feel like a lot of my colleagues tend to treat teens like zoo animals rather than taking their jobs seriously. educators are part of a childs education process. we help form who you are, whether we like it or not, so giving you age appropriate responsibilities (within reason, i also hate assigning lots of busywork homework) is part of our job. teens say dumb things because theyre teens but also i remember that once i had a fucking meltdown in english class when i was 14 because i got a B+ on a quiz and said i was going to work at burger king forever and my teacher actually reassured me in her own comedic way. so yeah, i remember being overdramatic and annoying too so i cant be critical of my students for that.
while i think the age dynamic between a teenager and an adult is something to take more seriously than some people online would like to, i also see a lot of full grown adults in their early 20s pretending that anyone over 30 is a corpse. it goes back to what i said about that narrative....30 is not the end of your life. in fact, i felt my life was just beginning once i turned 30. i spent most of my 20s in and out of mental hospitals and in treatment, learning how to function, and towards my late 20s i finally became a teacher and found that it was a fundamentally vital part of my recovery. but the ‘best years of my life’ aka my teen years and early 20s were all spent trapped in abusive relationships and processing trauma. now that im older, i feel i can finally start living.
maybe its because of my experiences but i really resent being told that im old just because im 30. im only five years older than some of these people who are like ‘dni if youre 30+!’.... like you are 25 years old there is no significant age gap or power differential between us??? do you think that once you turn 30 you stop liking anime and become some kind of sexually predatory liability towards....people in their mid to late 20s?
the reason we talk about age is because adults, all adults, need to respect children and teens at their particular stage of development. i know teenagers hate being told theyre not fully mature yet but you arent fully mature yet. you arent adults. even if you were, you simply dont have that much life experience. its fine not to know everything. and there are people who know more than you who will try to use what they know against you. thats why discussion age dynamics is so important. because childhood developmental stages are a thing really even up until youre in your early 20s (but at that point it doesnt matter AS MUCH because once youre legally an adult you have more legal rights than you do as a child, as sad as that is).
i think a lot of this antagonism against people over 30 is that society generally values youth, which is pretty silly because society also gives children and teens little to no legal recourse. so there is this distinct antagonism there. youth is valuable perhaps BECAUSE of its capacity for exploitation. once youre older, you know better, and thus you cannot be so easily fooled. and thus, as a result, we all believe turning 30 means youre a dried up useless husk, because your buying power isnt as useful. your beauty (if you are a woman) is worthless because only barely legal teens are acceptable in a society that highly values youth....and we should maybe unpack that because thats highly uncomfortable isnt it? your reproductive capacity is worthless because biased scientists have told us that if you have a child over 40 you are GUARANTEED to produce DEFECTIVE CHILDREN!!!! its backed up by SCIENCE!!!! science says older women are useless and shouldnt have children!! even though we live in a world where genetic counseling exists and we can easily navigate those risks...but no, science says.
the cult of youth is a cult of exploitation of the youth and one that devalues to the point of disposability of older people. and during the pandemic we are really starting to see just how little governments care about older people. in fact, its almost as if they are purposely killing them off...because they arent as important as the youth for some of the above mentioned reasons.
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Live And Let Die, part 4
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6
Description: Agent 008 and Agent 009, professional spies for the MI6 with liscense to kill. Partners in both work and love. After an agent goes missing the partners have to once more go out into the field. (It’s a James Bond AU)
You don’t need to know anything about James Bond to be able to read this fic, trust me
Note: If anyone tags this as r/mr/m I will hunt them for sport
Words: 4853
6 years ago
Remus looked out of the car window. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be here. This was the wrong place. The wrong time. Maybe he should make the car turn around.
"You still here bro?"
A hand landed on Remus' shoulder making him jump in his seat. He looked over to the driver. To Roman.
His brother sent him a smile before looking back at the road "Seriously you good? You looked like you were going to mars"
"Just kinda zoning out" Remus replied.
"You took your meds right? I don't want you nearly getting us killed because you were too busy daydreaming about Beetlejuice again"
"He's the man of my dreams Ro-bro!!!.....and yes I have taken them"
"Re-Re I gotta get you a date once we get back. I can Not let Beetlejuice be your standard of men!" Roman playfully poked his elbow into his ribs "Hey that new Q assistant has been staring at us even since they read our files. I'm sure all it'll take is asking them out and they'll fall head over heels for you"
"They would probably only be interested 'cause of dad" Remus muttered out while crossing his arms "It's always like that. Either that or 'cause of mom"
"At least It's definitely not because of your horribly ugly monster you call a mustache" Roman got a bonk on the head for that.
"Whatever. You go and get yet anotha fling once we get home why dont you. One day you're either gonna get cannibalised or get syphilis. Or both!!!"
Roman let out a gasp "I am far too clean and princely to get syphilis you dirty heathen!!!" He smacked his brother with one arm while driving with the other.
Remus smacked him back "No-oh. Syphilis and gonorre and some weird blue stuff!!"
The smacking got more intense and the prince's gasps and shrieks of defence even louder and nasalier with every sex joke. Until he finally stood on the brakes. The car stopped so suddenly Remus had to hold himself back from flying out the windshield.
"We're here" He simply stated.
Remus let out an overly extra breathe of relief "Finally! Thought my skin was gonna rot off my bones before we got here!"
Roman leaned back and took out his usual weapons from the box sitting in the backseat while continuing to talk.
"Remember: this is a serious mission! Not just some ol' dragon we gotta arrest. Army of fire breathing dragon witches levels of serious. No unnecessary fighting and absolutely no inspecting dead bodies!!"
"You know I can't promise that" Remus replied while stuffing the biggest handgun he'd been able to get his hands (heh) on into the holster stuck onto the side of his waist.
"I know far too frick fracking well"
"PLEase just say fuck!"
"No. Fuck you!!"
They got out of the car. Their feet sank down into the sand the moment they stepped off the gravel road. For dozens of miles around them there was nothing but them, sand and a few even sandier hills.
And of course the statue. That goshdarn statue.
Enfuel, a company with ties to both energy and oil distrubution, had recently bought this random piece of land in the middle of the desert. A statue was placed in the middle of it a year or so later. It looked similar to one of the old egyptic statues and when they looked up information about it all sites said it had been around for hundreds of years. Of course MI6 had satellite pictures to show otherwise.
MI6 had been keeping check on Enfuel for a while. An anonymous worker had been selling them information for months. Even without the leaked information the vast buying of land and spikes of Enfuel employees dying in 'accidents' was enough to rise suspicion.
The agents made their way towards the statue. Guns ready in their hands. No one was around. It was a large one. Over 20 feet wide and at least 15 feet high.
Roman hunched down in the shade from the statue and took out a mechanical gadget he'd gotten from Q. It was a scanner. He placed it on the ground and activated it.
"And now we wait"
"Time to rant and or infodump?" Remus asked.
"Yes but not from you. You got to infodump the last time. It is my time to rant to kill time on a mission!"
He rolled his eyes "Yeah sure go ahead"
His brother instantly went on a long rant about the local theater production he'd landed a role in. It was the first time he'd ever acted. Aside from exercising and his special interest (disney) the theater was the first time he'd ever had a real hobby. His (now ex) boyfriend had been the one to take him to audition after introducing him to (and accidentally making him instantly hyperfixate on) musicals.
"And I just can't wait to-"
He stopped midsentence when the machine made a sound. He was still happy stimming as he checked it.
"Holy zeus" He gasped out.
He showed it to Remus. The scanner had created a blueprint of everything within a 10 feet radius. It clearly showed that there was something built under the ground. There was also an entrance built into the statue.
Remus went over and clicked on a specific point on the statue like the blueprint showed. A keypad appeared. They sent a photo of it to Q. Within minutes he'd somehow been able to come up with the correct code.
He put in the code and a hidden door nearly obscured between two pillars opened up. The brother sent each other excited smiles before entering.
There was a short staircase that led down into a corridor. The walls looked like something they'd find in a mourge and the dim lights shone a cold blue. Roman buttoned up the shirt he had on that was supposed to look like the uniform many Enfuel employees wore.
"Sure doesn't look ancient" Remus muttered.
It was practically a maze of corridors and rooms. Everywhere that cold blue light was the same. None of the rooms they passed seemed to have any important information in them. Having a secret facility wasn't enough for an investigation! It was just aesthetic as fuck!
They aimleesly stumbled around for at least half an hour as they got to the parts the blueprints hadn't showed. They probably walked in circles a few times too. Roman was about to suggest they call up Q when he saw guards, armed guards, out of the corner of his eyes.
He threw out his arm to stop Remus and dragged him back to hide behind a wall. He peeked out and saw how the 2 guards were staying outside a door.
"Bingo" He whispered. He turned to his twin "Wherever there are guards are the important things"
"The juicy secrets!" Remus agreed.
The brothers got out from their hidingspot at the same time. They tried to look casual while walking up to the guards. Right when one of the guards moved to stop them, to ask who they were, Roman took out his gun and shot them in the knee.
Remus elbowed the other guard right between his ribs before pulling his arm around the guard's neck. It didn't take long before he let the guard collapse onto the ground after choking him to unconsciousness.
The other guard feeble sat on the ground with their hands pressed to the wound on their knee. Roman held his gun to their head "Give us the key to the room"
They didn't even hesitate to throw the key over to Remus. They looked up at Roman with pleading eyes. With one swift kick they too laid on the ground knocked out.
The brothers pushed the guards to a good hiding spot in silence. The door opened reveleaing a quite small room but it was filled with computers, databases and of course at least 10 people working on those computers.
All it took was Roman holding up his gun to one of them to make the others freeze in fear. It was very clear that they were just doing their job so Remus tried to go as nice on them as possible when he knocked them out.
"Remind me to request instant sleeping pills from Q" He said after the last one laid still on the ground.
"Noted" Roman replied while barricading the door so no one could get in.
Remus glared at the computer with the biggest screen. He tried to read what was on it but only got a headache and some scattered words. Roman gently pushed him aside.
"It's probably better if I try to find what these guys are up to and you stand guard. Please try to not let me get shot"
"I'll do my worst! Maybe I'll even shoot you myself!" Remus joked.
He looked through the room while hearing Roman mumbling to Q about decoding and taking down firewalls. It didn't take long to realize there was actually a second door in the room. He wasn't sure where it lead but decided to barricade it as well.
"You're still free on Saturday right?" Roman suddenly asked while waiting for Q to hack into the database for him.
Remus rolled his eyes "Nah dude I suddenly got loads of friends and we're all gonna go raid a cemetery and create a zombie army. Supa busy that day sorry"
"Ha Ha" He let out druly "Well the new mission impossible movie is coming out so I kinda thought we could go see it. Y'know cinema caturday like we used to do"
"Oh yeah using our free time away from our spy work to watch a spy movie. Real smart decision Ro-bro"
"It can some other movie! I just wanted to do something" Roman slumped back against the desk so he was leaning on it "I know I've been kinda busy like whenever we're not on missions with the whole theater work-"
"Kinda?!" Remus let out a scratchy laugh "Bro you've been going to that theater like you'll turn to dust if you're not there all the time"
Roman plucked at the green bead bracelet on his wrist "Well it's exciting! I never really thought I could wokr with anything that didn't involve fighting or smugling. It's...nice..getting to do something else. I can't wait until it's time for the premiere and I'll actually get to hear the audience"
"Let's just hope no villain decides to try and take over the world during your perfomance nights" Remus joked. Roman's expression went from excitement to worry "Ro-bro I was kidding. I'm sure if anything happens I can just go with 0012 or something- or I mean like I'll come see you of course I just- It'll be chill!"
There came a silence. There always came a silence after talking about the theater thing. Spending an entire childhood learning about jewel smuggling, self defense and the innerworks of crime made any kind of work that didn't involve any of those shocking enough to warrant silence. Especially after it was Roman's idea to start working at the MI6 as soon as they moved away from their mom and the floating palace at 18.
He'd wanted to be a hero. Remus had just wanted to stay close with his brother.
"But yeah I guess I'm free on Saturday if you wanna go see that movie or whatever" Remus muttered while glancing over to his brother "More surprised that you're not busy honestly"
"Oh I was! Some friends from the theater heard I would get back from 'work' soon and wanted to hang out and I still got that guy who wants to go on a date with me as soon as possible and some guys from the Q branch asked me to test some gadgets for them. But I made sure to clear time in case you said yes" Roman replied with a smile.
"That's....That's....Ro-bro you're a sappy dork you know that right?"
"Of course! That's part of my everlasting and undying charm!"
The conversation was forcibly stopped as Q announced that the code was cracked. Roman flapped his hands in excitement to see the movie, Remus flapped back. They both turned back to what they were doing.
The duke to his surprise noticed a small crack in the wall right next to the door. He couldn't stop his curiosity from taking the better of him and looking through.
On the other side was a big room. There was a long dinner table in the middle with excessive amounts of expensive food on it. There were crystal candelabras hanging from the ceiling. The walls were white just like the floor but there were old paintings decorating the walls.
Most importantly there were 4 people in it. 3 men who looked to be at least 40. All of them were wearing suits but one of them was sitting in a chair by the luxurious table in a glistening dark purple suit. The other two were standing by the table with briefcases gripped in their shaking hands. Remus could see the sweat from nervousness dripping down their neck all the way from where he stood.
Last and least was the fourth person. A young boy, he was at the most 9 years old, sat on another chair by the table. He was holding the hand of the older man. His eyes were hidden by his hair and he had a large hoodie on.
"-So even though there has been someone selling important information about my company you two are 100% certaint that neither of you have destroyed my trust?" The man clad in purple asked.
The two men quickly shook their head. The purple clad man, who happened to be the leader of the Enfuel company, shone up into a wide grin. It was too wide. Too eerie. Not happy. Just sinister.
"How wonderful! I knew I could trust you both!" The leader took out a gun and shot one of the men in the leg.
He fell down on the ground and writhed in pain. The young boy let out a scream and flinched away. The other man bolted for the closest door which instantly made Remus take out a knife and get ready to defend Roman. But before he could get anywhere the leader had pressed a button on his chair which made all doors lock.
"I heard that the MI6 were on to us because of you fools running your mouths" The leader said while standing up. Remus nearly chuckled at how right he was.
The shot man simply cried while the other got down on his knees and begged "Please please I'll do anything. I have a family. I have 2 kids. I can- please don't kill me"
"How funny, I have a kid too" The leader held out his hand "Son come here"
The young boy quickly ran over and took his dad's hand. He was already crying. When the gun was reloaded he turned his head to look away. It resulted in the leader grabbing onto his son's head and dragging in it so he was forced to look at the helpless men, soon to be corpses. Remus could hear the boy whimper from pain.
"Do I-I h-have to see ev-every time?" He cried out.
"Until you learn to stop crying over some insect's death, Yes. These people are traitors. They're beneath us because they have hurt us. You have to see what we do to people who hurt us"
A bullet went off. One of the men collapsed dead on the floor. The other desperately crawled away until he hit the wall. The young boy's crying turned into sobs.
"You should be used to it by now" His dad said in a calm tone.
The leader forced the gun into his son's shaking hands. He held onto his hands so he couldn't let go. He moved his hands for him, reloaded the gun for him, held the gun to the living man's forehead for him. The young boy's entire body was shaking from fear. He closed his eyes. Pretended like the cold metal wasn't in his hands. Pretended like he wasn't one move of his finger away from taking a life.
"Open your eyes son" The leader commanded "You have to see. See the fear in his eyes. That is the look of a dead man. We could ask anything of him"
"I-I want him t-to live. P-Please dad w-we can send-d him to the b-bad room instead"
"The bad rooms are for those who are of use to us. This man has nothing for us"
A hand landed on Remus' shoulder. He turned around and pointed the knife at the person's neck. Thankfully it was just Roman.
"The files are all here" Ro informed while holding up an USB drive. He had on a strained expression "It's sick. Q told you they made it so Enfuel was the only company avaible for like an entire part of Latvia right?"
"I wasn't listening but probably yeah"
"They're planning to make all electricy and fuel unaviable for those cities for months. And they're going to make it look like an accident so they won't even have to take accountability. They're planning to try and completely cut them off from the rest of the world"
"People are gonna die" Remus concluded.
"Bet"
"Why the fuck would someone even do that?"
Roman shrugged "Said nothing about that. At least we can stop it if we know it will happen. All we have to do is get out of here and get it to M"
Remus was about to nod but then he heard muffled sounds from the other room. He closed his hands into fists. There was a cold lump stuck in his throat.
"There's a kid here. Like 8? 9 maybe? Being made to hold a gun" He whispered.
"Mom teached us how to use pistols at 12" Roman replied with a shrug.
"She made us shoot at targets" Their mom is a very powerful lady so they had to know how to defend themself since so many people wanted to hurt them to get to their mom "This is-"
A gunshot went off. Gutwrenching screaming followed. It sounded like it came from the boy. Soon sobbing took over.
"Don't cry like that. You weren't even the one pulling the trigger" His dad snarled out.
The brothers at looked each other. They both knew that the mission was hundreds of times more important than one kid but....with that one look they both knew they had to do something.
"Okay new mission" Remus said "Protect the kid"
They searched the room and found an entrance to the vents in the roof. They climbed in and crawled as quietly as possible until they could see down into the other room. The leader had gone back to sitting by the table, he was drinking some wine. The son was still sitting by one of the corpses. His sobs was racking his whole body as he held onto the dead body. Quiet beggings to wake up could be heard.
The brothers took out their guns in anticipation. Remus slammed his foot down into the vent panel and jumped down onto the ground. He jumped back up on his feet and held the gun to the leader's head.
Roman was just as quick with getting down. He went over to the kid and hunched down in front of him, half to comfort him and half to be a human shield.
"It's okay now kid. We won't hurt you. We'll get you out of here. I promise" He whispered to him while sending him a warm smile.
He was full on hyperventilating "No. No. Please. Get out. I don't- dad will- I don't want to have to see anyone else die- I don't want to hurt anyone- please- NoNoNoNo"
"Shhh. No one will be hurt. Just focus on my breathing okay. In and out. Deep breathes. You'll be safe soon" Roman assured. He kept one hand on the young boy's shoulder and the other hand on his gun.
Remus held the gun as still as possible against the leader's forehead. The older man didn't look away even for a second. His cold blue eyes stared at him until it felt like he was digging into him. The agent tried to glance around for a clear exit. At best he saw another entrance to the vents close to the wall on the side of the room.
"I've buried people like you before" The leader let out in a dry emotionless tone. "Even if you do get anyway it won't do much. All of the evidence will be gone except for a meek little plan I can easily manipulate away in court. You're really just delaying the inevitable"
"Not letting people die isn't doing nothing" Remus snarled back.
A smile crept up on his face "Letting people die does just a little"
He pressed down on a hidden panel on his chair. All Remus could see was that it was some sort of controller before hearing a muffled shout. He spun around in time to see Roman sitting with his arms around the kid. Blood was seeping out of his shoulder.
By the press of a button a panel on the wall had turned around and a mechanic gun had become visible, useable too via the panel. The gun head moved again, readjusting it's line of sight.
Logically Remus should have moved his gun back towards the leader's head. Logically he should have shot his brains out. Logically he shouldn't have made a single sound. Logically he shouldn't have shown any ounce of care or emotion (weakness), it'd been drilled into them during training after all.
But Remus wasn't thinking logically. His brother was hurt. His brother was in danger. He had to protect him.
A guttural sound of terror left his throat. It sounded like something close to his brother's name. He wasn't fast enough. There was nothing he could. He watched as the bullet went into Roman's chest.
Remus didn't reach him. There was a hit to the back of his head. The hit was hard enough to make it feel like his brain split apart. He was already unconscious as he fell down on the ground. He was just close enough so the blood from his brother reached him.
--
The moment Remus awakened again his heart immediately began to beat fast enough so he could hear it. He wanted to yell out for his brother before he'd even had time to open his eyes.
The fear calmed won just a bit when he did look up and saw Roman, thank god he saw Roman, laying next to him. He didn't calm down completely because his brother was visibly hurt. Hurt badly.
There were swelling on his cheeks from soon to be bruises and his right eye had closed completely from a black eye. Blood had dried around the wound on his shoulder and the one on his chest was still bleeding. Thankfully it hadn't hit his heart but it was still heavily bleeding. The kid's hoodie had been pressed against the wound. His left leg from the knee down had been mangled and turned the wrong way.
Remus had rope tied around his wrists and ankles. They hadn't even bothered to tie Roman's ankles. Even with all the injuries his twin tried to send him a weak smile.
"don't speak too loudly" He whispered out. His breathing was uneven and raspy.
Normally Remus would have screeched in defiance. Now he glanced around the room while making his every move as quiet as possible.
The leader and his son were still in the room. The leader was polishing a knife. There were multiple knives and other gratuitous tools laid out across the table. Oh god he'd only kept them alive to make them suffer until death as much as possible.
When he turned back to Roman there were tears in his brother's eyes. His smile was strained.
"I was going to resign"
Roman let out a sob as his smile disappeared. It only left an expression filled with pain.
"I-I never really wanted t-this! I just- I didn't know what else I would be. Re I was planning to make this my last mission. I don't know if I want to be an actor. But fuck at least I-I want to be an actor ten times more than I want to be an agent"
Remus tried to move closer. He wanted to reach out and hold his brother. Comfort him. Tell him half the things he said didn't make sense.
"You- What-" He let out a nervous chuckle "Ro-bro what are you talking about?"
At first there was no reply. Just a choked back sob. Roman moved closer and stared at the ropes around Remus' wrists. Anything was better than looking at his face. He moved his hands to try and untangle the ropes.
"You have to hug mom for me. And tell her I love her. And hug Lucy a-and Macey and Amita-" Roman closed his eyes, tried to force back another wave of tears "-And Everyone on the island. All of them. And the people at the theater. A-And everyone in Q branch a-and Oh god Q. Please hug Q- Logan. Hug Logan for me. Please. And Patton and M even though he will hate it. Please. I wish I'd known. I just want to be able to say goodbye at least. I just-"
"Shut up you dork. We're getting out of here. I'll just carry you. What's some old weak boned guy and some kid gonna do against us"
Roman glanced up at him, just for a moment, before going back to the ropes.
"Remus I-"
He coughed. His entire body shook and writhed in pain. He ignored it and continued with the ropes. Blood was coming down his lips. He was coughing up blood.
"Remus-"
Roman met his eyes this time. He didn't have to say anything more. They both knew it. Even if one of them didn't want to accept it. It'd taken at least an hour to drive here. He wasn't going to make it unless he got medical help within the next minutes. He wasn't going to- He wasn't-
Roman wasn't going to make it.
"You can't- I- I'm sure- I can-" Remus stuttered out.
"You need to take the information and get back to M alive" He pulled the ropes away from Remus' wrists "There's a vent right above us. The bitchass dragon witch is too busy with torture devices to look at us. If you go now you can-"
"You will-"
"Remus I'm already dead! The kid isn't being saved either! He's stuck here! We failed! The least you can do is try to stop more death!"
"But you will-"
"Please I need you to survive" Roman pressed the USB drive into his hands. His hands were shaking "I-I'm trying to stay strong to make this easier for you b-but-" He let out a shakey sob "I just want to hug mom again. I want us to-to- I- I need you to survive. I need you to stay alive. Please. If I know you survive I can attempt to die in peace. I can't- I can't-" It continued into incoherent sobbing.
They couldn't hug each other, the leader would realize they were awake if they did. All they could do was press their hands together. They held onto each other's hands so tightly it hurt. Neither wanted to let go.
"....I love you...I wish- I don't- I just want you to- I love you" Remus choked out through tears.
Somehow Roman mustered a smile "I love you too" He wiped a tear away from his twin's cheek "I'm sorry. I wish I could stay with you. Please go. Please survive"
Remus tightened his grip on his hand for one last second. He wished he could drag it out. Even Continuing to exists in this moment of misery sounded better than spending the rest of his life without him.
He forced his hands away and sat up. Heuntied the ropes around his ancles in one rushed pull. He heard a yell from behind him. He jumped up and grabbed onto the vent. A bullet went past him as he climbed in.
He continued to cry as he hurried away. He kept the USB drive in his mouth. It felt like a part of him had been ripped out. A big part. A part he needed to live.
(He wished he'd never noticed the crack in the wall. He wished he'd just left the kid to be abused. He was horrible. He just wanted his brother to be okay)
It should have been him who was left for dead. Roman had so many more people who would mourn him. He had had a future. Goals. Dreams. Relationships. Remus was replacable.
Remus pushed himself out of the vent. His lungs were burning. He was numb. There were so many emotions he'd overloaded. He couldn't even feel the cold against his skin. Only the tears against his cheeks.
He escaped the facility and ran. In the distance he could see the car. He wanted to die. He couldn't imagine a life without his brother. Roman was the one who was supposed to come back with the information to save people. Roman was the hero! It wasn't fair!
Remus wanted to stop and let the guards catch up to him. Wanted to let himself scream and sob and be killed. Wanted to hug his brother again even if the only way to hug him was if they were both dead.
Instead he forced himself survive but only because it'd been Roman's wish.
#not countdown#live and let die#roman sanders#remus sanders#ts remus#ts roman#sanders sides#thomas sanders#creativitwins#roman sweetie i am so sorry a dumb bitch like me would do this to you
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I just wanted to be sure to not make you uncomfortable! Can i request an oneshot with connor and his s.o self harming/having depression? If you dont want to so it it's fine with me either!! 🥀
Rain Clouds
Pairing: Connor RK800 x GN Reader
A/N: Thank you for asking beforehand! it’s been a hot minute since I wrote for my boy, also a quick reminder: requests are open!
I didn’t write the self-harming part because I’m not very comfortable with that. The portrayal of depression here is based on my personal experience since you did not specify a scenario. It does not represent everyone’s experiences.
Warnings: Depression, minor?? panic attack, overall it just has sensitive subjects,,, please don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable
W.C: 1.8K
Connor wasn’t ever designed for this. He wasn’t created to show any empathy or sympathy, he wasn’t made to bring anyone comfort.
Yet here he was, in a dim room with a very, very distraught human. You, to be exact. You were sobbing, your hands covered your face as tears continued to wet your face. He didn’t expect this to happen when he chose to visit you after you didn’t show up at work for a few days.
He had known you for about half a year now. You were one of the few people at the precinct to welcome when he first joined as a machine. You only grew closer and closer after that, with you and Hank helping him realize he is deviant and guide through the mess that was humanity and emotions. He… liked being around you.
He was admittedly worried, you acted different prior to today. Your usual cheery self had gradually morphed into a quiet, distant one. You didn’t laugh at Gavin’s attempts to make you chuckle, you didn’t smile while greeting him, you didn’t even pet Sumo when Hank brought him to the precinct. You’d fall behind on work, barely eat and quick diagnoses showed that your stress level was constantly high.
Something was wrong, and he needed to make sure you were alright. He’d seen patterns similar to yours in Hank before and he didn’t want to even think about things escalating that far.
“I’m fine, you shouldn’t worry about me.”
Your words lacked sincerity as your neglected appearance contrasted them. The dark circles around your eyes got heavier, your hair looked as if it was left uncared for, you were severally dehydrated and probably hadn’t eaten a sufficient meal in a while. You didn’t like it when he questioned you on it.
“I said I’m fine, just been too lazy to cook anything.”
In retrospect, he should’ve given you the space you needed. He should’ve known persisting on the matter would only cause your stress to get worse. But he didn’t, he just wanted to help. He cared for you too much, he couldn’t handle it if something had happened to you.
“Stop analyzing me!”
Your burst was justified, but he truly did not know how to react to it.
“God, do you think that’s all that life is? You will just go around scan whatever you like and give back some diagnostic that nobody asked for? Are you just a fucking machine, Connor?”
You immediately froze after saying that, your breathing was heavy, and tears started to trickle down your face. Connor didn’t know what to say. Just a machine. He was acting like a machine. Your words stung but he pushed that aside.
“Fuck… I’m so sorry I didn’t – I didn’t –”
A sob interrupted your apology and you moved your hands to cover your face again. Your body slowly descended, and you sat on the floor. Connor could feel his own stress level increase as he stood upon your shaky form, not knowing what he is supposed to do. The storm overrunning his mind was kept at bay, though. Showing you that he too was afraid would not make things better.
Your breathing started quickening and getting heavier when you finally faced him. A quick scan showed that your heart was racing abnormally. Contemplations filled his mind, should he call an ambulance?
He moved closer to you but stopped when you immediately moved back, “Don’t, don’t come close.” You stammered in a trembling voice.
“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. Uh - what do you need? What can I do?”
You shook your head,” I dunno, fuck-” your choked voice only got croaker as you tried to speak, “It’s okay… just, just focus on your breathing.” Connor was only doing what he felt might help you and getting your breathing to stabilize became his current objective.
“…trying,” you closed your eyes and Connor continued to stare at you as you struggled. “water, need water.”
He nodded and got up. With hurried footsteps, he went into your kitchen and brought you a glass of water. He came back to you and stood still for a second. Should he get closer? Should he help you drink it?
“Con. Help.” That was his cue. He kneeled next to you and held the glass to your lips. You drank it steadily, as much as you could. The glass was lowered, and he was ready to back off, to give you your space. But you reached out to him and held his hand. He could feel the pressure of it as you squeezed it tightly.
The pattern of your breathing started to follow a consistent pattern after that and as time went on your trembles began to decline but you still shuddered.
+
Carrying you to bed was an easy task. He’d done so as per your dizzy self’s request and helped you lay down and made sure you were adequately hydrated.
He glanced over you and saw how drained you looked. The idea of you, the one he cared about so much, being so broken hurt him. He wanted to ask, to know how long you’d suffered in silence without him noticing a thing. He wanted to know how to help.
Now wasn’t the time, though.
“You shouldn’t waste your time here.” Your croaky voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts. “You can go Connor; I will be fine.”
“Can I stay? I want to be with you.” he pleaded.
Your vision once fixated on the wall now focused on him, hollowness seeped through your eyes, a sharp contrast to how they looked the first time he met you.
“Connor…”
“Please. Please, don’t push me away.”
You blinked and bit your dry lip. After thinking for a few minutes, you said, “Okay. Okay, you can stay.”
+
The following day he’d made you breakfast, or at least tried. The food looked nice since he’d followed an online tutorial, but he wasn’t sure about the taste.
You didn’t look happy nor sad about him cooking for you but barely ate half of what he made.
“Fucking hell.” You said under your breath, he didn’t know if it was because of what he made or because of how physically and mentally tired you look.
Last night wasn’t mentioned. He didn’t say anything, and you didn’t bring it up, so he thought you didn’t want to talk about it.
“Thanks.” You said suddenly after you finished eating, “For, for looking out for me, I mean.”
He nodded, “You don’t have to thank me. I only wanted to make sure you were okay, I’m sorry for pressuring you.”
He had done his research as you begrudgingly slept, understood that what happened to you was known as a panic attack. He’d delved deeper into it to understand what caused the shift in your personality, but he still was not a licensed therapist or the kind of android made for that purpose and thus he didn’t want to make assumptions.
You scoffed, “No, it was my fault. I… usually get snappy when this happens. I still shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m sorry. Just don’t scan me all the time, okay?” “Okay.”
He tilted his head after a while, “Is it okay if I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure.”
“Has this happened before?”
You froze. “Does it matter?”
The way you spoke was rather deadpan, “Well, yes. But if you don’t wish to talk about it, it’s fine.”
“I’d like that. I don’t… I’m not ready to talk about it.”
Connor put his hand on yours and rubbed it, “It’s okay.”
+
Day by day he’d try to show you that he appreciated you. That he did not see you as a burden. That you mattered to him. It was hard, your self-doubt and lack of any sense of personal worth created a wall that he had to carefully try to breakdown. He did want to advise you to seek professional help, but you seemed defensive when he suggested it the first time.
You started showing up to work again after a while, you still did not show much passion for it and looked incredibly uncomfortable when someone would question you about it. So, he’d try his best to push people off your back, as awkward as it was.
+
Rain was pouring outside. Connor could hear splashes and vehicles passing by every second. It was rather peaceful. Your head rested on his thigh as he hummed a tune he recalled hearing you sing a few months ago.
“Connor.”
“Hm?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
Your question made him pause, you sounded almost… empty. Devoid of any actual emotion like someone who was internally defeated.
“I kept denying it for so long. Kept telling myself that today was just a bad day, tomorrow will be better,” you let out an unsteady breath, “But it never did. Everything became so… joyless? I couldn’t enjoy things, couldn’t enjoy work, couldn’t enjoy any shows, couldn’t enjoy speaking to anyone.”
Connor slowly realized that you were opening up to him, so he listened thoroughly and stayed quiet.
“Things only got worse. I didn’t have it in me to do anything anymore. I didn’t keep up with work, didn’t clean my apartment, didn’t cook, didn’t eat, didn’t do anything. I felt gross.”
You sniffled and lifted your head, “I didn’t want to bother anyone with it. Thought It would go away, that nobody deserved to be forced to help someone like me. didn’t want them to see me any differently.”
“I am just so fuckin’ tired, ya know? It’s like I am running in a circle. I’m tired of being so worthless. I’m tired, Con. I just want it to stop.”
You looked down at your lap while Connor started to comprehend what you were saying. His LED spun and circled until it settled on yellow. “This does not make me view you any differently. You are still the person who helped me when I deviated,”
He held your hand and you latched on to him, letting out soft whimpers as he rubbed your back. “I might not completely understand what you are going through, but I still care about you and I want to help.”
“But I am not the crucial help you need.” You stopped crying into his chest and looked up at him in confusion. “I know you think it might be useless but please consider attending therapy. I will tag along if it will make it more comfortable for you.”
You stayed quiet, this time actually considering what he offered. “what if they didn’t care?”
“Then we will look for the right person. Together.”
You bit your lower lip and hesitantly nodded, “You will be with me, Con?” your fingers intertwined, and he pressed his forehead against yours.
“Yes. Every step of the way.”
#connor x reader#rk800 x reader#dbh#dbh imagine#i tried to write a realistic reaction from connor but idk i want off the rails#anon#tw:depression#tw: panic attack
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Baby its Cold Outside (PART 9)
Bakugo x Reader
Have you seen this man
**** Warning**** This chapter has a bit more graphic violence than the others.
Words : 2810
PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE
*****************************************************************************************************
You actually got pulled to duty today, so naturally you just had to be feeling under the weather. Any other day of the week you could sit at your desk or hell just lay on one of the many couches in the break room, but nope. Not today. Today you need to go assist in a bank robbery. It was a simple call. They just needed you to pop in and get the hostages out. Piece of cake. From what you understood there was only four hostages and only two villains. Walk in the park.
But because you were already having a bad day it would only make sense if it got worse from there. So you arrive on scene and guess who’s already there? Bakugo. And guess who is yelling like the mad man he is that you don't need to go in there? Again Bakugo.
“Nope. No. I don’t think so! This feels all too familiar. Nope. Cant do it. Go home. I think I can hear Zuko crying from here. You should probably go check on him. I can take care of this...” He probably didn't even know he was doing a full on Deku rant but you weren’t about to point that out to him right now.
“Ground Zero... I appreciate your concern but I was called here specifically. I assume because they knew you’d blow up the building. I’ll have them out in five minutes. Now you can either help me or pout. That part is totally up to you.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, probably not appreciating be called Ground Zero. But you were in pubic and trying to be professional. “Okay Adsum..” He threw a little extra sarcasm on your name. “What do you want me to do?”
You gave him a victorious smile, “I’m glad you asked. I can do this a lot faster if the villains are distracted. So do what you do best. Yell at them, blow things up, get their attention. And once I’ve got them all out you can go Lord Explosion Murder all over the place... Sound good?”
He ground his teeth, “Yeah whatever just hurry...”
Before the accident Bakugo wouldn't have bated an eyelash at you doing something like this. Now it was like pulling teeth.
You ended up pulling everything off flawlessly. Only minor damages but that’s only to be expected when Bakugo’s involved.
You endured the strobes of flashing cameras as the press yelled praise and questions. But neither you nor Bakugo paid them any attention. In fact you wanted to get as far away as possible. You started to feel light headed and you thought you were going to vomit any second now. Once you were far enough away you bolted towards a trash can and emptied your breakfast.
Bakugo was at you in an instant holding your hair and rubbing your back, “Oi... you okay? You pushing yourself too hard again? I don’t care how small she is, I’ll fucking fight Dylan.”
You pulled a tissue out of your pocket and wiped your mouth. “I dont think it’s Dylan. I think I’m just sick. I wasn't feeling too hot before I even came in today. But now that I think of it, We did have a harder day yesterday than we usually do. She had me pushing myself to see how many times I could teleport in under a minute.” You gave him a proud smile, “I got all the way up to 30. Thats once every two seconds.”
He brushed a few hairs out of your face, “As proud as I am of you, you need to take better care of yourself. I know you say she knows your limits and everything but I still dont think there’s a chance in hell she knows your limits better than you do.” You went to protest but he gave you a pointed look, “Can you please take the rest of the day off? Just go home and get some rest. You clearly need it. ”
“Ugh, fine... but only if you bring home some ice cream later...”
He laughed, “You and your damn ice cream. Yes I will bring you ice cream. Cookies and cream or chocolate chip cookie dough?”
You gave him puppy dog eyes, “Both?”
He smirked, “How could I say no to that. Alright you got yourself a deal. Now get out of here before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you home myself.”
You wagged your eyebrows, “Oh yeah?”
He thumped you between the eyes, “Oi! We are at work women! Contain yourself.... you also just threw up...soooo I will give you a professional hand shake goodbye.”
He held his hand out and you just rolled you eyes. You held your hand out as well but before it met his you popped behind him and smacked his ass. “Report me to HR... I dare you.” And then you popped away in the direction of your apartment before he could scold you. You ended up ditching the costume and packing it away in your backpack. You called a cab because you really were not feeling well.
You didn't know if the cab driver was staring at you periodically because he recognized you or if he thought you might throw up in his cab. Either way he didn't make any attempts at conversation which you were thankful for.
You quickly took a half ass shower and brushed your teeth before going straight to bed. You passed out a soon as your head hit the pillow.
You woke up hours later to the loud ringing of your cell phone. You checked the time before you answered. It’s a little past midnight, Katsuki should have been home by now.
The caller ID said Kiri and your heart sank. With shaky hands you clicked answer, “He..” You cleared your throat, “Hey Kiri? What’s with the late night phone call? You wouldn't happen to know where Bakugo is would you?”
“That’s actually why I’m calling! I’m on my way to get you. I’ll explain everything when I get there. Just get dressed and get ready to go. Zuko too! Dont answer the door for anyone who isn't me!”
He hung up before you could ask what was going on. Truly panicking now you jumped out of bed and started digging around for clothes. You were pulling on your shoes while simultaneously trying to locate Zuko’s leash when a loud bang came from the other side of the door.
“Hey Bitch! Open up the damn door! We know you’re in there! Dont make me break this shit down!”
Zuko started growling as you looked through the peephole. You gasped, it was the cab driver from earlier. He did recognize you. And he brought a friend.
“Your little boyfriend aint here to protect you now is he! Not like he was the night he killed my brother! My brothers dead because of you!”
You had no idea what the mad man was talking about but it was enough to send chills down your spine. You didn't want to risk having to fight them one on one. You still felt too sick for that. You knew Kiri was on the way so you could wait util he got there... *CRACK*
They had started kicking at the door now. “Shit...”
“We’re going to make you pay for what you did you little bitch!”
*CRACK*
“Then when we’re done, we’ll take out that that little shit stain Ground Zero!”
*CRACK*
“Then we’ll track down every girl you saved that night!”
*CRACK*
You ran to the kitchen and took one of Bakugo’s really expensive knives. Surely he’d forgive you for fucking it up. You returned to the door that was only about one hard push from coming off the hinges. You focused really hard as you squeezed the knife in your hand. Then there was a slight pop and the knife was gone.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” You looked through the peephole again but this time the cab drivers buddy had a knife... Bakugo’s knife, the one you were just holding, lodged in his chest. You did it.... You had teleported the knife through the door.
Before you had a chance to back away from the door, the cab driver threw his shoulder into it, effectively taking it off its hinges and throwing you to the ground. “Fuck!” You tried to scramble to your feet but he caught your ankle.
You kicked him in the face twice before he let go. You had barley gotten to your feet when Zuko lunged for him. Bakugo spent a lot of time training him... so it didn't surprise you when he went straight for the throat. But watching as your dogs teeth sank into another man’s throat... it was hard to watch.
The man cried out in alarm but Zuko just dug deeper and growled. You eyes went wide, “Zuko! No! Get back here!”
Zuko let go and ran back to you. The man’s blood was pooling around him now as his eyes began to droop close.
You sat down in shock staring at the scene before you. Two dead men. Blood. so much blood. Your breathing was starting to get shallow.
“Holy shit! What happened to don’t open the door for anyone but me?! Y/N! Are you okay?”
Your eyes slowly met Kirishima's, “Where’s Bakugo?”
He grabbed your hand and started pulling you out of the apartment and down the hallway. “I’ll tell you in the car... Come on Zuko!”
You sped off with Kirishima checking his rearview mirror periodically. He didn't ease up until he was almost to the agency you worked at. “Okay so here's the deal. So as you just discovered some quirkless cabdriver found out where you and Bakugo live. He sent a threat along with some pictures of you walking into the building to Bakugo.”
You gasped but Kirishima wasn't done, “Yeah but what's worse is he also sent it to the league of villains. Told them you were the one who messed up their human trafficking deal and Bakugo was the one who blew up some of their best men. You both have pretty big targets on your back right now. And Bakugo being Bakugo... he....”
Your hands gripped the leather armrest, “Kiri don’t tell me he went off on his own... KIRISHIMA WHERE IS HE?!”
He gave you a sad look, “We don’t know. He called me and told me to get you out of the apartment and then hung up... That was an hour ago.”
Your eyes welled with tears. He’s so stupid. always yelling at you for not waiting for back up and now he thinks he can just show up alone to fight the League of villains of all people!
“Where are you taking me?”
“Technically I’m supposed to bring you to the agency while we wait this out... but...”
You leaned forward, “But what?”
“But we’re going to meet up with Deku, Todoroki, and Denki and where going to go get him.”
“I thought you said you didn't know where he was?”
He gave you a shit eating grin, “I dont. But we happen to know where all the League of Villain hideouts are. All we need now is for you to teleport to each one. Find him and report back. They’re all within a few miles of each other. I know it’s kind of pushing it but Bakugo told me you once teleported 15 miles.”
You nodded, “By accident sure, but my range has gone up! Its almost to three miles now... He’ll kill you for this you know? He won't want me involved in this at all.”
He rubbed his neck, “Well that's a risk I’m willing to take to get his dumb ass home.”
Half an hour later you along with the others were huddled around a map with all possible locations circled. Todoroki pointed to a spot almost exactly in the middle if the others, “That’s where we are right now. This spot is about 5 to 10 miles from all possible locations. Y/n. We need you to teleport to each of them until you find them. When you do, do not engage. Teleport back to us. You’ll take me first, then Midoriya, them Kaminari, and lastly Kirishima. Do you understand?”
You nodded, “I’m going to be honest.. I don’t know how efficient Ill be. I’ve only been working on this kind of thing for a month or so. I’ll likely have to teleport two or three times to get to each location. Do you have pictures?”
He shook his head, “No I apologize we do not. Are you sure you’re up to it?”
You cracked your knuckles, “Which one first?”
You popped in and out. Running into trees, and ponds, and whatever else was in your way. You had to stop to throw up nice or twice, but you never did it in front of the other heros. They didn't need to see you were sick. You were on to the fourth location when you made a mental note to thank Dylan profusely when this is all over. Without her intense training you don’t know if you could have done any of this.
This stretch only took you two teleports to get there. You were breathing heavy with a sweat soaked shirt when you heard it, the familiar sound of an explosion. “Katsuki?” You were hiding in a couple of trees that surrounded a barn. You teleported to the top of the closest tree and look down. Sure enough there he was. You were itching to go to him. To drag him out by his ear. But you had a job to do. You took one last look at his blonde head. Hoping he would still be here when you got back.
In one long stretch that made your muscles scream in protest you teleported back to your friends, “I found him now lets go. We need to hurry!”
Shouto stepped up and you spat a quick, “Hold your breath.” And you were off. You dropped him by the same tree you had just stood under and pointed in Bakugo’s direction, “Hes that way. Just listen for the yelling and the explosions.”
Without waiting for a response you went back to get Midoriya. When you dropped him off you started to feel dizzy. Not good. You leaned on a tree and gripped your head. Through gritted teach you made it back for Kaminari.
When you came for Kiri you couldn’t help it. You threw up.
“Shit Y’n are you okay?”
“Yeah I just have the flue or something. Just give me a minute.”
A minute turned to twenty and you could still hardly pick your head up. Kiri came and knelt next to you. “Hey they made it out okay. They took him kicking and screaming, but they got out. I just got off the phone with Midoriya. What do you say we get you to a hotel room and get you something to eat huh? My treat. It’s the least I can do after I basically volunteered you for this.”
You wanted to protest but your stomach gave you away. You hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and you had thrown that up a long time ago. “Yeah I could really use some food. I’m fucking starving.”
You called ahead and ordered a room as well as enough food for a small family. Kirishima got the room next to yours and told you to let him know if you needed anything.
You opened the door and the smell of pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese hit you. You couldn't decide what you wanted so you had ordered it all. You needed a little comfort food. You deserved this.
You had devoured the mac and cheese and was about to dig into the pizza when you heard the click of the door.
You grabbed your fork tightly as you stepped over to see who it was.
“They didn't have cookie dough, so I could only get you cookies and cream.. I hope thats okay..”
You dropped your fork and flung yourself at him, “You’re so fucking stupid you know that! You cant do that to me. I was so scared!”
He slowly wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his nose through your hair, “I know. I’m sorry. I just.... I saw red. I couldn't let them get to you. The only thing on my mind was to protect you. And then Kirishima told me they went to the apartment anyways. SHIT are you okay? I heard you stabbed a guy..?”
You flinched, “Well not exactly. I teleported the knife through the door... Zuko handled the other guy. Speaking of which he needs a bath... He has blood in his fur...”
He cupped your face in his hands, “Later when were both not emotionally exhausted I’d like to talk about how badass and impressive you are. But nows not the time.” He looked to Zuko who was wagging his tail at his feet, “Thank you for looking out for our girl.” He gave him a quick pat on the head
You pulled away from his embrace and ran to the bathroom and threw up for probably the fifth time today.
“Damn Y/n I’m sorry. I was the one who asked you to take the day off and then you had to go and work so fucking hard just so you guys could find me. I’m such a dumbass. I’m sorry.”
You leaned against the tub, “You're not a complete dumbass. You still remembered the ice cream.”
#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#bakugo#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugō#bakugo imagine#mha bakugou#mha#mha imagines#mha x reader#bhna#bhna bakugou#bhna imagine#bhna x reader#my hero academia
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🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋
okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!
5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.
cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.
meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today.
relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND.
ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward!
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