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csanflower · 10 months

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are you my soulmate?

pairing: idol/model! jungkook x part time staff! reader

genre: fluff, sfw

wc: 2.7k

synopsis: You offered to do some part time work for a Calvin Klein shoot to earn some quick cash. The job was simple. Do whatever the higher ranked people told you to do. You expected a simple job like making coffee or ordering lunch for the staff. You definitely did not expect the biggest star in the world following you around like a puppy, thinking you’re his soulmate just because a bell rang when you crossed paths with him…

*inspired by jungkooks comment abt hearing bells ring when he meets his soulmate ^^ BUT NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT SOULMATE AU

“y/n, thank you so much for helping us out! Our shoot today is extremely important for the company and we needed all the help we could get! You are aware of who the model is, right?” Sejin, your overall manager for the shoot today approached you as you entered the shooting area.

You immediately noticed how large scale this shoot was, compared to the other shoots you’ve been to before. As a college student interested in the modelling sector, you had always tried to find opportunities to get yourself familiarised with the industry, and at the same time earn some money to pay off your school fees. Thus you’ve dabbled in helping out with basic chores for shoots, such as buying coffee for the staff, organising the mess on the tables, or the occasional touch up of the model’s makeup. However, all of the shoots you’ve been to so far have been small scale, quick shoots, unlike this shoot which seemed to have about 100 staff members in a rush to get ready. Whoever the model was must have been a huge figure.

“Sorry, this job was kind of last minute so I didn’t have time to read up on the information. Who is the model?” You replied Sejin with slight embarrassment.

“It’s fine, no need to be sorry. The model is Jeon Jungkook of BTS! Do you know how many fans this guy has? This shoot is going to make our company stocks rise to the max!” Sejin laughed out loud at the mere thought of company stocks rising.

Jeon Jungkook? Wow. Who didn’t know Jeon Jungkook? He was the most famous and desired man in the whole South Korea — in fact maybe the whole world. Your jaw hung open. You were going to see Jeon Jungkook? Sure, you were probably not going to reach within a 10 meter radius of him as a small staff, but you were gonna be in the same room as him. You weren’t a big fan of him but you had heard of how famous he was. Jeon Jungkook was a household name. You’ve personally heard your mother and siblings fangirling over him. Who would have known that y/n l/n, the only one in the l/n family who did not fangirl over Jeon Jungkook would be meeting him first. You laughed to yourself, imagining your family’s reaction when you tell them about it.

“Ah, y/n, the shoot is about to start, i’m about to get busy. Could you do me a favour and help me get my file for todays shoot? It’s in my office, you should know where it is.”

“Sure! I’ll go now!” You immediately replied, hoping to do good job so you could get on his good side. You bowed at him quickly, before rushing to his office.

When you reached his office, you immediately found the file, with big, bolded letters written on it. “For Jungkook shoot! Extremely important!” You were about to grab it and leave, when you notice a golden bell beside it, with a post it note written on it. “Bring to the shoot! In case I need to get everyone’s attention since nobody ever listens to me anymore!” You laugh at the note, grabbing both the bell and the notes as you head out of the office.

As you walked in the hallway, you suddenly got a text message from sejin. You placed the bell on top of the file and barely balanced it with your left hand, as your right hand held your phone to read the message.

Help me take the bell too please! Thank you!! - Sejin

You inwardly praise yourself saving a trip back, trying to type a response to sejin with your right thumb.

Just as you were about to hit send, you suddenly felt a hard chest in front of you, harshly colliding into it, sending you to the ground.

Ding! The loud sound of the bell resonated in the empty hallway as it hit the ground.

“What the hell…” You rub at your painful head as you lay on the floor, rushing to get up to grab the file before its contents fly around.

Dischevelled, you grab the file and bell, hugging it close to your chest as you glared up at the person who caused the mess.

You definitely did not expect to see a pair of doe eyes looking at you curiously, with a glint of excitement in them. His mouth was open slightly in awe, as if he just saw an angel. But your jaw hung wider than his when you realised you just bumped into THE JEON JUNGKOOK?

“Oh…OH MY GOD! I’m so so so sorry!” You quickly sobered up, standing up and bowing at him multiple times. You avoided eye contact as you walked past him and tried running away in embarrassment.

But before you could leave, you felt strong, large hands grabbing your wrist.

“W-wait! Don’t go… who are you? Are you my soulmate?”

When you heard what he said, you almost burst into laughter. What? Soulmate? What was this famous star on? Was the most famous guys in the world really asking you if you were his soulmate? You let out a muffled laugh, trying your best to hold it in as you say, “Excuse me?”

“T-the bell. It rang when we bumped into each other. It’s fate.”

You finally let out your laughter at that, laughing uncontrollably at what you thought was a joke, until you noticed his hardened stare and realised maybe he was not joking.

“Um the bell rang because it fell on the floor… I don’t think we are ‘soulmates’, sorry man.” You said awkwardly.

The both of you stood in silence, staring at each other. After 30 seconds, the awkward tension started getting to you and you slightly bowed before walking away back to the shoot.

If you thought that would be the the end of the very weird experience, you were very wrong. As you walked, you could feel a presence behind you. Using your peripheral vision, you were 100% sure Jeon Jungkook, the world’s most desired bachelor was following you around like a puppy. You were starting to get annoyed, the other staff were starting to notice and the attention was definitely not what you needed. You whipped around, face to face with Jungkook.

“Why are you following me?” You ask infuriatingly.

At your annoyed tone, he lets out a small smirk, suddenly having some newfound confidence.

“I’m not following you, I’m going the same way as you.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, turning around and stomping at a quicker pace to the shoot area. Of course, he was still following you closely.

When you reached the shoot, you felt an instant relief with the amount of people bustling around.

“Jungkook is here!”

“What! Where?”

“Jungkook!”

The moment Jungkook entered the room behind you, people immediately took notice of him, running to be by his side and crowding around him. You took the opportunity to blend with the crowd and get away from him.

As you turned back to look at him, you noticed he was looking around for you, after losing you in the crowd. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he carried a small frown on his face, eyes glancing around the room trying to find you.

For a guy who could get any girl he want, he seemed weirdly obsessed with you. Did he really think you were his soulmate because of the bell? Maybe he was just playing with you like with other girls. You were just a nobody to him after all. You place the thoughts at the back of your head as you get back to work, finding Sejin.

“Thanks y/n, you can go take a lunch break. I’ll text you if I need you!” Sejin seemed satisfied at your swift pace as he released you for a break.

You give him a small smile as you walk out to the cafeteria with a sigh of relief. Taking one last glance at Jungkook, he still seemed to be trying to find you, with a small cute pout on his face as he seemed slightly frustrated at his futile attempts.

You sat down on an empty bench as you chewed on your sandwich, glad that you could take a short break before the real demands start coming in when the shoot gets busy.

Emergency: Contact some models to see if they’re available ASAP. Part time models OK. Get a variety. Jungkook being picky. He doesn’t want to work with Nari. - Sejin

You furrowed your eyebrows at the message. Jungkook didn’t want to work with Nari? Nari was the biggest female model in Korea. Why didn’t he want to work with her? She was ‘the most beautiful girl in Korea’ and every man loved her. Why did he have to be so uncooperative and make my job so hard? You quickly messaged your model contacts, asking them to come as soon as they could.

Of course, all of them immediately accepted. Who wouldn’t be dying to get an opportunity to model with Jungkook? You led the 4 models to the shoot, noticing the grim and dark mood as soon as you entered. You could tell there was tension due to Jungkook’s lack of cooperation.

When sejin noticed saw the models, his face immediately lighted up.

“Jungkook! The models are here! You can choose any of them to be your partner! These girls are all highly esteemed models and they are all experienced! Any of them would be a great partner!”

You could feel the girls beside you fixing their posture and making a juice pose as they awaited in anticipation for Jungkook to see them.

Jungkook looked up from his phone in disinterest, quickly skimming over the models until his eyes landed on you. Immediately, you noticed a glint of sparkle in his eyes, a child like smile on his face as he pointed at you.

“I want her.”

You instantly tensed up, staring at sejin in shock. You could feel the rest of the staff’s shock as well. You wanted to climb into a hole and die from the tension. Why did he have to cause so much problems for you?

“A-are you sure jungkook? Y/n is a beautiful girl but she’s a staff, not a model…”

You looked at Sejin in desperation, slightly shaking your head and telling him with your eyes that it was a no. However, Jungkook was relentless.

“If it’s not her, i’m not doing this shoot.” He said nonchalantly.

You wanted to smack his handsome little face so bad. You should have just stayed home today. Sejin walked over to you, pulling you aside apologetically.

“I’m so sorry y/n, but you know how important this shoot is to us. Could you please help us out this once? It’s just for today. We will pay extra and it’ll be a great experience! You want to work in the modelling industry in the future right? You could hear desperation in his tone.

You thought about it. Of course this would be a great experience for you, but you were so unprepared. What if you didn’t do well? Or worse what if his fans hated on you? You couldn’t handle that. But with Sejin staring at you so desperately, you felt that the guilt of rejecting him would kill you on the inside. You knew how excited he was for this shoot.

“Fine.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much y/n! Here take this file and read up on the looks for the shoot. I’ll bring you a makeup and stylist team ASAP. The shoot will start immediately when you’re ready!” He handed you a file with immense gratitude written on his face.

You reluctantly grabbed it from him, making your way to the makeup room as you tried to avoid the heated jealous stares of the girls around you. You glared at Jungkook as you walked past him, receiving a smirk in return.

When you reached the makeup room and sat on the model’s chair for the first time, you flipped through the file, reading the contents, your eyes widening and jaws dropping when you read it.

“Underwear shoot???!!”

You stared at yourself in the mirror after you had gotten your makeup and styling done. You were only wearing Calvin Klein underwear and a Calvin Klein jean jacket. Were you really about to do this? Of course, you looked hot. This was probably the hottest you have been in your whole 21 years of your life. But you were so nervous. You sucked in a deep breath, telling yourself: You have to do this well. This will give you many opportunities. Just suck it up.

You walked out awkwardly, feeling the heat of everyone’s stares. You could especially feel Jungkook’s heated stare.

“y/n! You look great! Come here! Let’s start the shoot!” Sejin commented in excitement when you came out.

You awkwardly walked over to in front of the camera where Jungkook was already waiting.

“Ok, y/n, I need you to sit on Jungkook’s lap and grab his neck while looking up innocently at the camera.”

You looked at Jungkook who had a smug look on his face as he waited for you to approach him. You tried not to stare down at Jungkook’s sudden exposed abs. Sucking up your embarrassment, you did as Sejin said.

Unexpectedly, the shoot went smoother than you expected. You managed to do many of the poses Sejin told you to do, even the intimate ones. Sejin even commented that you were a natural. Looking at the pictures taken, you also noticed that you somehow had a natural chemistry with Jungkook, with all your pictures with him seeming natural, like a real couple. In one of the pictures, you were straddling Jungkook as you both stared into each other’s eyes as if you both loved each other. You felt yourself blush as you stared at the picture. Despite the slight embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel a new sense of pride when you were praised by everybody there, even staff members who previously did not even acknowledge your presence.

“And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone!” Sejin shouted.

You felt a flush of relief feel your body, a sense of tiredness taking over your body as you could finally relax.

You slowly got up from Jungkook’s shirtless body, looking away from him. You could still sense him staring at you as you walked away to change out of the uncomfortable undergarments.

After removing the extravagant makeup and changing into comfortable clothes, you walked out of the shoot feeling much more relaxed. You looked at the time on your phone, noticing it was already 11pm. Everybody must have already left by now.

You let out a content sigh, thinking back on the stressful day.

“y/n, wait! Dont go yet!”

Just as you were about to step out of the building, you heard a panicked voice behind you.

You turn around, seeing Jungkook who was panting hard as he bent down to catch his breath. He had changed into more comfortable clothing, with a hoodie and sweats, without any makeup on his face. Yet with such a natural look, he seemed so much more attractive to you. He must have ran after you if he was panting so much.

You crossed your arms, playfully smiling at him as you asked him why he stopped you. You felt a newfound sense of comfort with him after the shoot with him, maybe because you had been in such intimate positions with him.

“I-I need to tell you something. T-there’s something wrong with your phone. It doesn’t have your number in it…” Jungkook seemed nervous.

You looked at him in confusion, not understanding.

“W-wait! I mean there’s something wrong with my phone! It doesn’t have your number!” Jungkook hit his head in frustration, seeming actually annoyed at himself for not pulling off his pickup line correctly.

“So what do you want me to do about it?” You ask with a playful smirk on your face.

“You can fix it by giving me your number.” He said with a shy smile, still slightly embarrassed from his failed pickup line, as he reached out his phone to you.

You laughed out loud at his shyness and relentless determination. Jungkook laughed along with you shyly as you both shared a moment in the sweet darkness of the night.

You grabbed his phone from his hand, typing out your phone number.

*HII IM NEW TO TUMBLR i may make a part two depending on how wrecked i am after seven comes out :’)

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babybluebex · 9 months

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bad idea, right? | joseph quinn x fem!reader

summary: yes, i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? // aka your ex joseph conveniently texts you to come over just as you're missing him, and who can say no to those eyes? pairing: joseph quinn x fem!reader tags: SMUT (minors dni), thigh riding, teasing, confessions of love, bareback (USE A CONDOM IRL PLEASE!!!), no ejaculation (it's ok, you'll see, just read it) author’s note: i am BACK with a new joe fic, i have been thinking about him NONSTOP ever since miss olivia dropped this song, and it's taken me forever to write this but here we are :) enjoy! follow @babybluebex-writes to be notified whenever i post new fics!

This was such a bad idea. No, it wasn’t a bad idea. It was the worst idea, one of the worst things you have maybe ever done. That bar wasn’t set too high, but the point remained. It was stupid and bad, and you just shouldn’t be doing it. And yet, here you are.

You had been out drinking with your friends, ironically trying to get over Joseph. He was a good man— good enough, at least— and had been a relatively good boyfriend to you, but he was different than everyone else and was itching for more than you were, a family and a life and shit, and you had just wanted to have fun with him, so you had broken it off with him. The breakup had initially happened a few months ago, but your friends had never been able to drag you out of your flat and to a bar until then. There was nothing to mourn, you tried to tell them. We just wanted different things and split amicably, there’s no bad blood there that I need to drink to get over.

Around 11 o’clock or so, your phone buzzed on the bar top, and you glanced down to see a text from a number that your phone didn’t recognize, but you knew all too well. I’m lonely, it said. Would you like to come over?

Your friends were absorbed in their conversation, so you put down your vodka soda and typed out a reply. Joe, you know that’s a bad idea.

I moved. Do you need my new address?

You sighed. Yeah, I do.

There was something about Joseph that you couldn’t place, but it made him irresistible. He was magnetic, he was charismatic, he was attractive and funny and kind, he was everything, but he just wasn’t what you wanted or needed for your relationship. He wanted kids; you didn’t. That was it. He was so irresistible, though, that there was no question about the fact that you would wreck your plans to see him.

“Hey, I gotta go,” you told your friends, and they all booed and awed and asked what was going on.

“Wait,” one of your friends started. “Are you going to see Joe?”

You scoffed, in a way that you hoped conveyed how crazy you thought that was. “No,” you said. “My social battery just ran out all of the sudden. Long day at work, and I’ve got another long one tomorrow and… You know how it is.”

“Alright,” your friend said with a pout. “Be safe, alright? Let us know when you get home.”

You agreed and, with a few hugs and kisses, you went on your way. Joseph had texted you his new address and you plugged it into your Uber app, and, the whole ride there, your leg was jiggling and you were nervous. It was just Joe, it wasn’t like you were going to meet some random guy you met online (although Joe had started out as some random Hinge match). You had dated him for two years, you knew him, so why were you nervous?

He was grinning at you when you reached his place on the second floor, an easy sort of smile that you remembered loving. “Hi,” he said softly, reaching out for you, and you took his hands, smiling back at him.

“Hey,” you said. “So, this is your new place, right?”

“Yeah,” Joseph said with a shrug. “It’s not much, but it’s alright.”

You stepped inside and set down your bag next to the door, along with your jacket and shoes, and you examined the front room. The new flat was definitely smaller than the one you had shared together, the kitchen all smushed up next to the den, with the smallest hallway leading down to the bathroom and bedroom, and you settled on the couch easily. “I like it,” you said, your eyes going to his bookcase next to his television. A biography of Caracalla sat open, and you shook your head. “It’s cute. Very you.”

“Thank you, love,” Joseph said. He sat down beside you and put his arm along the back of the couch behind you, and you inched a little closer to him.

“Isn’t it a little… Silly?” you started, and you began to chew on your lip.

“What is?” Joseph asked.

“This dumb little dance we have to do,” you said. “Like we both don’t know why I’m here. We have to pretend, like, ‘Oh, I like your apartment’, ‘Oh, how have you been’, y’know?”

“Well, we don’t have to pretend,” Joseph said. “We can just… Get started.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “But I don’t wanna, like, just come over and fuck and leave.”

“So…” Joseph started. “You want genuine small talk?”

You shrugged. “I guess,” you said. “How have you been?”

“Honestly,” Joseph started. “Pretty bad. I’m so used to coming home and having you here, I find myself so lonely and bored and… I don’t know. It’s been a few months, I thought I’d get over… Whatever this is.”

“That’s alright,” you said. “I’ve been missing you a lot too. I miss our old apartment… The bathtub was so nice and big.”

“Yeah,” Joseph chuckled. “You remember when we took a bubble bath together and lit candles? That was nice.”

“Yeah,” you agreed wistfully. It went quiet then, both of you trying to avoid the obvious, and you finally sighed. “This is a bad idea, right?”

“Probably,” Joseph said. You looked over at him to find him already looking at you with those damned chocolate puppy eyes, and you tilted your head a bit, your eyes lingering on his lips. That’s something that you missed about him; he was a damn good kisser.

“Fuck it, it’s fine,” you said quickly, and you leaned in, pressing your lips to his. His arm around your shoulders dragged you close to him, and he kissed you back, letting his lips mold against yours. You moaned softly, taking in the familiar taste of him, and you shuffled to sit across his lap. His hands went to their usual spots in the back pockets of your jeans, squeezing and kneading your ass as his tongue slipped inside your mouth, and you raked your fingers through his hair. You don’t remember him doing his hair across his forehead like this the last time you saw him, but maybe he did, but it really didn’t matter. He was hot as fuck, and he wanted you.

“Fuck,” Joseph whispered as he broke the kiss. His focus went to your smooth neck, kissing and lightly sucking and making you moan again, and his hands drifted out of your back pockets and went to the front of your pants, popping the button open with ease. “Pretty girl…” he mumbled, and you giggled as he started to edge your pants down. The angle was awkward, definitely, and you shuffled to stand up and take down your pants. Joseph dipped down on the couch a little to pull off his sweatpants (grey, soft, the kind you once told him make his dick look good), and he discarded them to the side as you straddled one of his big thighs. This was always one of his favorite things, having you ride his thigh, and he looked gleeful when he realized that that’s what you were doing. “Oh, yeah?” he asked, and you smiled, flexing your hips down and starting to drag yourself along his hard thigh.

“I remember you liked this,” you told him, and Joseph’s throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, letting his head fall back as you started up a rhythm, letting yourself glide along his leg. He mumbled and cursed, his big hands falling to your hips, but he didn’t control you; he was just holding you, feeling you, loving on you.

“I do,” he mumbled. “God… Yes, sweet girl, just like that.”

You whimpered as your clit brushed your stretched panties, and Joseph looked up, a sly smile on his lips. You loved when he watched you, and you made sure to move your body smoothly— all the better of a show for him. “Yeah,” he mumbled, biting his plush bottom lip. “That feel good?”

You hummed out a positive sound, digging your fingernails into his shoulders through his jumper. “God, Joey,” you sighed, and you lilted your head to watch him as his eyelashes fluttered and he sighed with you. "Missed you."

"I missed this too," Joseph said. "Take off your panties, I wanna feel you."

You couldn't help but oblige him, and you lifted yourself from his leg and stripped off your modest underwear (you weren't exactly thinking ahead when you got dressed to go out, and you certainly weren't expecting Joe to text you). The feel of his warm skin on your pussy made your stomach swim with butterflies, and you put your hands on the back of his neck, just at where the curls ended. God, those curls. You pulled him into a kiss and moaned into his mouth, and you tugged on his curls to make him whine.

"Don't tease me, baby," he told you in a low voice, and you smiled and continued on your path, absolutely set on teasing him now. Your hips slowed, and you nestled your mouth right in the crook of his neck, setting soft kisses on his skin. "Oh, fuck, you're an evil woman, did you know that?"

"Yeah, well," you shrugged noncommittally, and Joe grabbed you around your waist and pulled you off of him. Roughly— rougher than usual?— he pushed you down onto the couch, and he settled himself on top of you, his thick thighs caging you in. You watched greedily as he righted himself and stripped off his jumper, exposing the little soft hairs on his chest; now, without the baggy jumper, you could fully see his hardening cock, rising to lay against his tummy.

"Like what you see?" Joe chuckled lightly, and you realized just how hard you had been staring at him.

"How could I not?" you asked. You reached out for his cock, taking his length in your hand, and you stroked him easily, base to tip, squeezing when you got closer to his balls— just the way he liked. He hissed in a sharp breath through his teeth as his eyes grew three times their size, and you smiled.

"Thought you'd've forgotten about that," Joe laughed breathlessly, and he edged back on the couch, aligning his hips with yours. Apparently, it seemed as if speed was the name of the game tonight, and it almost hurt your heart to think that he just wanted to hook up with you. You knew that coming to his place wouldn't end with a reconfession of love and for him begging for you to stay, but it stung to know that he was just trying to get you out as quickly as possible.

"I could never forget," you said, hoping that he could see through your words and see your teary eyes, hear your thick throat, feel your loss. You loved him, and the breakup hurt, but it was better being apart. But was it really?

"I wouldn't want you to," Joe told you, and he pursed his lips for a moment before he spit down onto your pussy. "You think I can ever forget you?"

You lined up the head of his cock with your hole, watching as he throbbed in your hand, and he sank his hips forward. The feel of the stretch had you gasping, and you moaned as he slid inside you, nestling perfectly. "Hey," Joe said firmly, and you looked up from the show to see him earnestly staring down at you, his eyes... Wet? Tearful? "You don't think I could ever forget you, do you?" he asked, and you bit the inside of your cheek.

"Not now, Joe," you mumbled.

"Yes, now," Joe insisted.

"You're inside me," you protested, and Joe gathered you in his arms, holding you tightly as he began to fuck you. The pleasure made your breath hitch, and Joe buried his face in your neck, kissing the slender column of your throat.

"We can talk and fuck at the same time," Joe said. "God knows we've done worse and fucked at the same time."

"But talk about this?" you asked. "Joey—"

"I can't sleep without you," he said softly. "Every time I wake up alone, my first thought is that you're using the toilet and that you'll be right back. I can hardly relax without your feet in your side... You really did take up the whole of the bed."

"Joe—" you started again, but he shook his head, his curls thwipping you in the face.

"And I can't eat," he continued. "I miss your cooking, and what's the point of eating anyway if you're not gonna steal bits of it off my plate?"

"Don't say that," you frowned. You were still acutely aware of his cock inside you, ebbing and flowing with the movement of your bodies, but, slowly, you came to realize exactly what this was. Maybe this was a reconfession of love. Maybe he would beg for you to stay. Maybe he was more than lonely tonight, and was just rushing the sex to get to the part where he asked you to come back to him. "That's not... Fair. I'm doing better without you."

"What a lie," Joe chuckled mirthlessly. "You're not wearing your favorite going-out dress, you're not even wearing mascara. You didn't want to leave the house tonight, but you did. Why?"

"My friends dragged me out," you said.

"Exactly," Joe said. "You'd rather stay home and rot in bed, because you're just as miserable without me as I am without you. Admit it, we were so good together, don't you want that again?"

"Joe," you started. "We broke up because you wanted kids, and I didn't. That's not something you can compromise on, that's not a conversation you can table for later. We broke up because we wanted different things, and that's okay."

"But I want you back," Joe said. "I need you back. Please, we can compromise on this. We can... Fuck, I don't know, we can get a cat. Or a puppy, or a lizard, or whatever the fuck it takes for you to come back to me."

Before you could say more, your phone buzzed in your purse on the floor just by your head, and you sighed as you reached for it, any distraction welcome. Your friend was texting you: Make it home ok?

Yeah, you answered quickly. Going to sleep. Talk tomorrow xx.

"Joe," you started. "I... I only see you as a friend now. I don't think I can return to what we had."

"That's the biggest lie you've ever said," Joe told you. "If I was just a friend, would you have come over tonight?"

"Yes!" you said. "Because I'm a good friend! You said you were lonely, and I wanted to come help—"

"Oh, God, there was an undertone, and you know that," Joe cringed. "Don't act like you didn't know exactly what this was."

"Fuck," you mumbled. "Joe, I— Can we wait until we're done fucking?"

Joe sighed and, setting his jaw, angled his hips back and pulled out. He went in search of his clothes quietly, and you did the same, and, as you were zipping up your trousers, you said, "I guess I just don't... Don't see how we can have what we had. Not now, not knowing that we want our futures to be so different."

"We don't have to have what we had," Joe said. "We can have something completely new. We can make something entirely different, entirely our own, whatever we want. Please?"

You looked up from your jeans to see him looking at you. He had shaved his facial hair down to nothing, and you frowned to look at it. "I hate the way you do your hair now," you mumbled. "And I wish you'd grow your mustache back out."

Joe shrugged. "Maybe I will," he said. "If you want me to."

"I do," you said. "And we can get a cat, but you have to do the nasty shit, cleaning up after it and everything. We can... We can get back together, if you... If you promise you'll never leave me again."

Joe stepped towards you and wrapped you in a tight embrace, and he kissed the top of your head. "Never again, love."

#joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn smut #joe quinn x you

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canaidliafail · 1 year

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stay grounded pt.2

streamer Abby anderson x streamer reader 🌿

[part 1] [part 3]

TW: weed & poor usage of the english language. MDI

quick note: HUUUUGE thank you to all the comments and reblogs and asks 🥹🤲🏻 I never thought I would get to experience such overwhelming support regarding my silly lil fics so Im very grateful and hope you enjoy the upcoming parts just as much

24 full hours passed until the moment you were almost ready to open her message. You didn’t know what to say or what she was going to ask. You liked the message there because what if the conversation just didn’t go well? What if she was reaching out to complain about your fans ? or what if…well just

what if

You checked the time and then your phone.Depending on where she lived you either were about to respond way too early or way too late and that mattered to you a lot because you needed to have excuses made accordingly for he lack of responding

“she is at the gym” or “she’s probably asleep”

“heyyyy :)” you typed the response and stared at it for a hard minute. Was it childish? no it was fine, it seemed friendly

you erased it and typed a “hi :)”

no now I seem passive aggressive

you erased it again and typed a “heyy” and pressed send before you could overthink that as well. Your eyes were glued on the screen and you almost forgot to blink. After a few minutes you exited the convo and pretended you were busy re-organizing the furniture in your living room and sweeping the surface of the coffee table. Your phone pinged and you lunged yourself on the couch grabbing it and looking at who texted you

It was June who sent you a link to a tiktok.

june: check this out!!!

kys

you typed annoyed and she sent a crying face with a series of messages complaining about how much of a bully you were. You opened your ps4 and decided to continue playing valhalla

your fingers started to twitch and you kept clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth stressed. You needed a distraction so in the spur of the moment you posted a story announcing you would be doing a casual stream playing valhalla in 30 minutes and went to roll a blunt while preparing everything.

you checked your phone one last time to see that your message was still left unopened and you feared it would stay that way.

“fuck snap out of it” you whispered rubbing your temples and taking one last slow drag. You carefully put the blunt on your moon shaped ashtray and left it on the living room along with your phone which was on mute.

You did your makeup and checked yourself ok the monitor a couple of times making sure everything looked right from every angle and looked at the mirror at the side of your computer checking your posture and how the clothes you chose sat on you.

You went for the disheveled look with a baggy T and sweat’s structured in a way that looked messy. You would never admit that this carefree “breezy” look took you a good few hours to perfect

you finally turned on your stream and waited for the majority of people to tune in “Hey everyone!”

you greeted them and started reading through the comments while discreetly checking yourself in the viewfinder so that your jaw stayed sharp and your hair in tact

“Hi nice to have you back Grim!” you tried to engage in longer conversations with names you saw pop up frequently in your streams and 20 minutes in you sat back and went to open your game

“alright I don’t have much time today but I thought we could hang out while I go do some tasks in valhalla. I wanna clear out some regions”

you went back and forth from your game screen to your chat occasionally replying but mostly reacting to the game

“Oh that Eivor figure ? Yes so as much as I want it I just can’t justify a purchase like that yet…But hey its on my wishlist so I owe a date to anyone who gets it for me” you said with a soft chuckle and then paused the game to throw out a disclaimer

“seriously though don’t- I, I mean sure do that if you want to but I know kost of you are college students so please don’t throw your money on me in such a way ok?” you said and checked the chat with a soft smile. A big chunk of your crowd was very sweet saying that they wanted to get you something from your wishlist and you entertained them while also reminding them to be responsible with their money

truthfully you made enough from this job and while your wishlist was open you didn’t have the necessity to ask people for gifts unless they started the conversation first

The stream was nice and slow without much happening till out of nowhere you started hearing more and more often the “subscribed to your channel” notification and started getting confused

“My god, welcome but where are all of you coming from?” you asked genuinely confused and saw the chat interacting with another favored figure. Favored by you and by your overlapping audience

staygrounded69: So this is the game you recommended. Looks interesting

Your ears were burning and your hands started to shake. You pretending to be reading, not trusting yourself to speak without stuttering. Abby, Abigail fucking Anderson was watching your stream

“Oh look whos here! Id tell you all to greet Abs but I'm sure most of you somehow found me through her today” you awkwardly said and went back to the game. Someone shamelessly sent a superchat with a voice note

“Abby should dress up as Eivor. She has the muscles” and your eyes widened at the image of that.

“That's a nice idea but she should play the game and see if she even likes it in the first place guys”

staygrounded69: Im intrigued by it for sure!

you could almost here her, hell you could almost picture the way she would say that and it did nothing to calm your nerves so in a rush you tried to end the stream feigning sleep taking over you and saying a bold lie that you had early classes tomorrow.

Once you logged out you turned off your pc and sat on your chair for a good few minutes breathing in and out thinking back to what had just happened

this was impossible. How? Why? no back to how. Actually why is better

why did she watch my stream?

You jumped off your chair and ran to the living room remembering the message. Sure enough there was a notification from the woman herself. Multiple actually

staygrounded69: the game you suggested seems interesting enough. Wanna gimme a summary of it yourself?

and then

staygrounded69: sorry was that overwhelming? Shit my fans go wild sometimes

You tapped to see her stories and her last was a photo of her living room, her dog Alice on the floor laying and her screen showing your stream. You took a good look at the image and your eyes stayed fixed on the corner of the pic where you could see her cropped frame showing only her spread legs in those mouth watering gray sweatpants

you went back to the messages

No its fine! caught me off guard is all but thanks for the shoutout <33

you answered and cringed at how formal and distant your response seemed

And of course I hope you actually enjoyed my stream

you waited and waited and a few minutes later you saw the sent turn into seen and the three dots appeared of her typing and deleting her message

staygrounded69: I did. Weird I never came across you before but you are very entertaining. Got a good look at what valhalla is about as well

no please don’t judge it by my stream today! its so much more than the shitty little quests I did today

you rushed to send the message, your passion overclouding your judgment and throwing your plans on the mysterious flirting out of the fucking window

You wanted to double text and divert the conversation to something else so that it would keep going but didn’t know how and felt that perhaps, that would’ve been a little more ambitious of you. After all she did only text you about the game in the first place

While you weren’t surprised about it but was a bit crestfallen, the conversation ended there with Abby leaving you on seen

•••

the next two days you obsessively waited for her to post a photo, which she didn’t and waited for a story which there was none and eventually with your friends help you shoved your phone in your bag and tried to get over it

It helped that you had a fat stack of assignments to work through for the week so you buried your head in fabrics and threads and tried to finish the project that was given.

a suit, which meant one inch sewn too far and the thing would be loose and crooked. You used once again yourself as a model for the costume since dragging your friends away from their work and studies didn’t sit well with you. Besides, anyone would be bored of having to sit and wait for you to stitch ,measure, sew, tell them to get up, make them put it on and then do all of that fifty times over till you got the piece right.

Cassie did insist she would love doing that for you given that she had the time but you still refused.

You would love to eventually have an actual model for your end of year fashion show but until then You'd just have to do.

By Friday everything was fixed and wrapped ready to be presented. You were waiting in line as all of you presented your work to the professor and she took her time studying each student's work. You had already tried the suit on and had taken photos to have proof that the measurements were correct both on you and on the doll that you used so you weren't too worried about it.

You had posted the photos on your profile unsure of how they would go since you felt like no one would care enough about things unrelated to the games you play.

“You did a good job. This Fabric though, Why did you choose it?”

your throat was dry and your nerves on edge

“I wanted the extra effect and felt velvet would look good on some parts”

“I see. Try to add extra effect when you learn how to do the basics first, alright?”

You wanted to cry but just gave a curt nod, put the suit back in the bag and went to the back of the class waiting for the short examination to end. This week had a banging start and a Godawful end and you couldn’t wait to go home and sleep it off. You checked the time. one more class and then you were free

In between lectures you decided to head to the cafeteria to see if there was anything left to snack on besides protein bars that tasted like dust or chips which, of course there wasn’t. Kitchen was open only in the early hours which left all of you who had afternoon-night classes to starve and figure it out on your own. With a sigh you went to the guy and asked for a coffee

“I want-“

“Iced latte, sugar and hazelnut syrup. Don’t worry I remember the type of cake you get in your espresso”

you chuckled and leaned against the counter scrolling leisurely through your feed not bothering to check the likes or comments yet

“long week?”

“yeah and I had project presentation too”

“oh shit. What major are you in again?”

“Fashion design and construction. I like it not complaining just-“

You were checking everyone's stories eventually landing on Ellies and had to double check making sure you weren’t mistaken or too sleep deprived to see well. She has shared your post of you wearing your velvet crimson suit. A deep V cut suit and she boldly left a little note at the corner

A good day to be a lesbian

“just?” The barista asked passing you, your coffee which you barely heard, too confused on how she even found you. Making the immediate and only reasonable connection you checked Abby's feed. She had shared your photo a few hours before ellie did and she left a little comment of her own. Way more specific and catered to you making your stomach do a backflip

This woman ♡

Your knees were weak and you started to feel nauseous. You took a seat at the counter looking up at the barista

“mind if I take a seat?”

“sure, did something happen? You don’t look so good”

“I'm fine- thanks…Just light headed”

“alright take your time”

he went back to his work, his frame disappearing behind the door of the -staff only- room leaving you alone.

Thankfully the cafeteria had few people left. two girls at the far east corner on their computers and a guy on the other end of the counter listening to music on his phone and taking notes.

You sent the screenshots to your groupchat. after 10 minutes of being left on “delivered” You spammed them with different meaningless messages to get their attention. Cassie was the first to cave in

cassie: Should we call you international casanova now or…?

CASSIE!!

June: They are both in seattle so I guess she's moving locally

Cassie: Seattle is 1,000€ away from our country so not really

Guys can you help?! Im panicking

Do I text Abby? should I respond

June: YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY?! YES OF COURSE SHE IS SENDING YOU HINTS

Cassie: Damn you really said “I will miss every chance God throws at me”

Rick: sent a link to a facebook post

Cassie: ???

You laughed, feeling a little better trying to ignore the obvious set for failure that any of this flirting was considering that indeed, Abby lived too far

You shook your head and went to respond to her story. If you just thanked her, this wouldn’t go anywhere. If you whined about your teacher this would show uncomfortable familiarity

Took me a week but was worth the effort♡

you responded and her immediate reply came few seconds later

staygrounded69:You made this?! Man you’re talented

No no it's just…measuring and shit.Anyone who’s handy with crafting could learn that

staygrounded69:You could say I'm good with my hands yeah…

You choked on your coffee and started coughing, your arm over your mouth to drown the noise. You had the most stupid smile on your face. You grabbed your bag and decided that you would skip the last class to go back home. No, you needed to enjoy this the way you enjoyed reading a good romance book and the only way to do that was in the comfort of your apartment.

once you reached the bus stop you opened your phone again and went to your chat

Man she was shameless and you leaving her on read for 20 minutes did nothing to make her falter. You could definitely get behind this attitude. It was expected that someone so timid and shy would probably have a nastier side and you really wanted to find out to what extent that went

And here I was hoping to teach you

staygrounded69:That’s one way to spend our date. Learning how to sew sounds interesting

Date? You sure are bold

staygrounded69:Am I? its you who owes me one. Don’t go back on your word now

You looked at the message puzzled, your smile dropping due to the genuine confusion. Did she mistake you for someone else ? Was this message directed to another girl? your bus came and the doors slid open with the rest of the college students walking in. You looked up at their moving frames and finally had a spark of an idea.

it was stupid and a reach but you did make that stupid offer on your stream regarding the ¼ scale Eivor statue.

You checked your wishlist and scrolled all the way down before finally switching to the “purchased” section.

It was there

you went back to your chat

insane. You are insane

staygrounded69; Dont worry about it. Its not the different from getting you coffee

jesus how much do these sponsors pay you?!

you asked and chuckled awkwardly to yourself. Needless to say. You had very well missed your bus too focused on the conversation and the unexpected direction it took. In the back of your mind you had a bad hunch. This didn’t feel like Abby. But you didn’t know Abby so you decided to push it back for once and let yourself enjoy whatever was going on

Staygrounded69: Sponsors are good and all but the real deal comes from my onlyfans

Your brows shot up and your eyes went from your phone to the side of the pavement. You kicked a stone and let it tumble.

She had onlyfans. Abby anderson had onlyfans and you had no idea. Oh this was dangerous information. You were sure your bank was about to cancel your cards by telepathically reading your mind any minute now.

My bad, I had no idea.

staygrounded69: Yeah set it up not too long ago which fuck, I left you on read cause things were all over the place with work. Sorry for that

Your heart felt warm and you were glad to redirect the heat in your pants to somewhere more productive. Preferably that would’ve been your brain but that didn’t work even when Abby wasn’t involved.

its cool, I get it

staygrounded69: Now about that date

I'd love to but I happen to live a few

countries away from yours

staygrounded69: Then how about you make some time for me and we can play a game together sometime this week?

you bit your lip. You could not believe this. You would go on call with her. The most beautiful woman to ever grace this planet wanted to go on a call with you and play a game. Ha! and people say romance is dead

deal 💕

you said and content you locked your phone and took a seat at the bus stop waiting for your ride. You felt a little more appreciative of how your week ended after all

—————————

coming next: cotton exploring Abbys OF page so next episode will finally have some spice <3

thank you for reading

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson x female reader #tlou2

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runningfrom2am · 8 months

Text

all i think about is karma

summary: you and rafe take on a mainland bush party where he knows no one, and you know too many people for his liking.

this can be read as a stand-alone but it's technically a part four to getaway car, big reputation, and this is why we can’t have nice things.

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 2.1k

tags/warnings: jealous!rafe, highschool au, (some) nondescript nudity, cursing, mean kook!reader, underage drinking, (i think that’s it??)

a/n: hey y’all!! sorry i haven’t posted anything in a little while, i’ve been busy but now im back home and on my usual schedule so there shouldn’t be any serious interruptions for a little while. i missed y’all and i hope you like this! this is what won my getaway car poll quite some time ago so im so happy to finally get it out!

"No, Y/N/N, I'll be fine. I don't want to dampen your week, you'll have so much fun!" Bella insists, adjusting where her phone is laying in her lap while she lays in bed, surrounded by tissues and snack wrappers. She came down with the flu at the worst possible time: right before you were meant to go on your spring break trip.

"It won't be the same without you! I should just stay home, I can come over and we can have a movie marathon or something. That'll be just as fun." You reply, watching her through the facetime camera while you sit at your vanity.

"No. Absolutely not. You're going- and you'll get to hangout with Rafe! It's worth it for me to get all the juicy details after." Bella giggles, sniffling and quickly wiping her nose.

You roll your eyes, rubbing your forehead. "Okay, yeah, but nothings gonna happen- you know I swore that off."

"Yeah, whatever. The two of you, alone, drunk and sharing a tent? Whatever you say." Your friend teases you. "It's actually worth it for me to stay home so you can come back with tea."

"Okay, fine," You agree, not admitting that the idea is very tempting. "But I'm not sleeping with him again."

"No! Of course not." Bella laughs, shaking her head. "But if you did, at least be safe this time. We don't need a repeat of what happened last time-"

"Okay! Okay! Bye, Bella I'll call you later!" You quickly cut her off, hanging up the phone.

Several long hours after texting Rafe the update that Bella wasn't going to make it, you found yourself in his truck on the mainland, driving into what seems to be the middle of nowhere for a bush party you caught word of from some friends you met playing soccer on a local team. You were excited to see them, and meet some new people, but you're honestly so glad Rafe still wanted to go. You'd rather not go alone if you didn't have to.

Judging by the large space in front of you full of various groups of kids your age putting tents together or starting fires around makeshift campsites at the edge of the water, you assume you're in the right place and get to work setting up your own tent off near the edge of the lake.

It wasn't long before the sun started to set over the abandoned gravel pit, and you just finish up when you crack open your first drink from the cooler. "So like... are we actually going to talk to anyone or just hide over here and be weird all night?" Rafe asks as you bring the can to your lips.

You roll your eyes a little and nod. "Well, duh. My friends are coming. I don't know what your plans are." Rafe looks around at that, seeing if there's anyone he might be able to talk to, but he was counting on hanging out with you.

"Wow, you're ditching me?" He asks, reaching into the cooler as well and grabbing a beer. "Cold."

You go to reply with a matching, somewhat snarky attitude the two of you almost always share when you recognize the purple jeep that's pulling in. "That's them! Good luck making friends!" You call back, jogging over to where they parked.

Rafe flips you off as you turn your full attention to your friends, sighing a little to himself as he lays eyes on a group of local boys who look enough like his friends that he's comfortable talking to them.

By the time that the area is lit only by the orange glow coming from the several cooking fires and the large bonfire everyone is centered around, you're already stumbling over your feet with a half-drank bottle of some liquor you didn't bring, and you're not even sure where you got it.

Rafe has been trying to keep an eye on you from a distance, but now he's lost you. He's drunk himself, so he's not overly concerned, but he would just at least like to know where you were. He looks around frantically, trying to keep his cool as the boys around him are laughing about something he didn't care to pay attention to. His eyes land on some figures out in the lake, and he squints to see if he can make out the shape of your hair in the dark. He takes a few steps away to get a closer look, hearing you laughing and shouting over the music coming from an on shore speaker. He walks down to the shore with a smug look on his face, polishing off his beer when he looks down and notices piles of clothes on the shore. Are you naked?

"Hey, Y/N!" Rafe shouts, waving to you in an attempt to grab your attention.

"Rafe!" You shout back, smile never fading as you push your wet hair out of your face. With the liquor warming you, the water feels amazing and so soft on your skin. "Come out here! Come join us!"

Rafe sighs as he finds your stuff, relieved to find only your shirt, shorts, and bra. At least you weren't fully naked in front of all these strangers. He strips of everything but his boxers and grabs your bra, wading out into the cool lake water to you and your friends as they cheer and laugh.

"Rafe! Where have you been?" You giggle, throwing your arms over his shoulders once he gets close enough for you to reach.

"I've been around- apparently I should have been babysitting you ladies." He chuckles, trying to hide any frustration in his tone as he avoids looking at your friends who are just as well clothed as you are. "Put this on, at least." He adds, pulling away from you and handing you the article of clothing, crossing his arms to watch you put it on despite his better judgement.

"Hey! Girls! Come on in, we're going to play chandelier!" One of the guys Rafe had the pleasure of talking to for the last couple hours shouts, and quickly everyone makes their way in to shore.

"Y/N, hey, we don't want you to get sick. Come warm up." Rafe turns his head as he gets his shirt back on, watching as one of the other guys, Jesse, is quickly wrapping you in a small blanket and guiding you up to the bonfire with a hand on your lower back. He scowls at the two of you behind your back, following as he urges you up the small hill and towards the large fire pit ahead.

You walk side by side with the boy, until you can feel the warmth of the flames on your skin where you stop and stand to dry off both your skin and what little clothing you have on. You don't know you're shivering until Jesse is tugging on the blanket around your shoulders. "Here, let me help you warm up.." He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you from behind and draping the blanket over both of you.

"Oh, thanks, Jesse." You say, teeth chattering from the soft breeze. You lean back into him, swaying from the alcohol still in your system and he steadies you.

"Anytime, sweetheart." He mumbles, pressing his lips to the back of your head.

You are well aware of his hands wandering, fiddling with the waistband of your underwear as you have your arms crossed tightly over your chest. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you gaze across the fire and your eyes land on Rafe, who's staring at you intently.

You smile and wave at him, but he just rolls his eyes in response and looks away. Is he upset with you for ditching him? In hindsight it wasn't very nice, even if that is the kind of relationship you normally have. If it was you you'd be upset- he didn't know anyone, and he was left to fend for himself, granted; he was clearly fine.

"Hey, Ashley?" You find yourself calling over to your other friend, but she doesn't hear you as your eyes well up with tears. Why do you feel so bad right now? Does Rafe being upset with you really bother you that much? You've hardly felt like this before.

"Ashley?" You ask again, but she hardly glances at you as she's got another boy draped over her shoulder- one who is definitely not the girls boyfriend.

"You okay?" Jesse asks, leaning his head over your shoulder to get a better look at you.

"Uhm, yeah, I just have to go to the bathroom and I was hoping she would come with me." You explain, watching Rafe again as he buries himself in conversation with the two girls standing next to him.

"I'll take you." Jesse offers. "Come on, I won't watch. Swear." He says, already guiding you away and tossing the blanket back to his friend.

You glance back at Rafe over your shoulder as Jesse walks you off into the dark. Just as you look forward again to try and watch your step, Jesse's hand is smacking your butt playfully, making you jump. You laugh it off and give him a shove, but he's grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of his truck.

The swing of Jesse's arm to where his hand hit your exposed skin drew Rafe's attention again fully, and he furrows his brow as he watches you stumble away. You were sharing a tent with him and you were really about to hook up with that mainland loser? He quickly downs the rest of his beer and storms after you, fists clenched at his sides after discarding the bottle on a nearby pong table.

"Hey!" Rafe shouts, making the two of you turn just as Jesse backs you up against the side of his truck and starts kissing down your neck. You're confused, but not one to turn down an opportunity like this- especially when you never have to see him again. As soon as Jesse turns his head, though, it's snapped back again with the contact of Rafe's fist into his nose.

He groans and quickly brings his hands up to his face, tipping his head back as blood pours from between his fingers. You gasp, reaching out for him but hesitating, not sure what to do.

"You think you can hook up with any girl who accepts a blanket from you when she's cold? She came here with me." Rafe spits, and you feel your features pull into an expression of anger as you quickly step towards him and shove him back. "What?"

"Come on." You mutter, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the now bleeding boy. "What the fuck was that about?" You ask, storming back to where your shared tent was in the corner. "Do you think you have some stupid claim over me just because you drove me here?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, stopping with you next to the tent as you drop his arm and turn to face him. "He was taking advantage of you!"

You scoff, shaking your head and crossing your arms. "No, Rafe. He wasn't. Did you ever consider that maybe I wanted that?"

"Whatever, Y/N- don't act like you weren't eyeing me up for the whole drive here."

"Oh. My. God." You find yourself laughing suddenly, realizing what this is about. "You were jealous."

"What? No I wasn't." Rafe replies defensively.

You smile at him cockily, tilting your head and waiting for him to spiral on it.

"I wasn't! I tried to help. That's what I get, I guess!" Rafe throws his hands up.

"And here I was thinking you were mad at me for ditching you. Turns out you were just horny." You smirk, knowing you were just pushing his buttons this time for fun.

"Oh, fuck off, Y/N, you're just trying to piss me off now for fun."

"You're not denying it." You shrug, looking back over to the fire for a moment, seeing Jesse sitting there with paper towel pressed to his nose and a few girls surrounding him.

"You're making it difficult not to be when you’re walking around like that.” He replies, smirking as he looks you up and down.

“Don’t be gross, Rafe.” You smile, dropping your arms from they were crossed over your chest.

He takes a step closer at that, delicately placing his hands on your hips. “You love it, Y/N/N, you know you do.”

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie , @whore-4-drewstarkey , @slut4drudy , @winterrrnight , @totalswag , @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron , @urfaveluvr , @chenslucy , @hxnnah-397 , @s-we-e-t-t-ea , @tahliac11 , @ragingsammie , @ietss, @dee127

#obx fanfic #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe fic #outer banks #rafe fanfiction #obx #rafe outer banks #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #rafe angst #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe headcanons

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tojifile · 10 months

Note

Hi :)

First of all, your Fyodor pieces are absolutely gorgeous! I really love them, and I could read the over and over again. Secondly, could I please request a Fyodor angst piece for the event? But please don't feel pressured to do it, make sure to drink plenty of water first.

Bye and have a good day/night

Fyodor Dostoevsky: Feed My Ego

“No I don't love you, I just love the things you say..” -Mickey Darling

Genre: Angst // Fyodor x gn!reader

⚠️: toxic!Fyodor, THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

A/N: Thank you so much for the request :) I think I have 4 more to do and thank you so much for your kind words, I hope that you enjoy this fanfic too !! I've also noticed that people have only been requesting for Fyodor / DOA get well soon readers !!

LINK: Masterlist

It was a cold and rainy afternoon, you were patiently waiting at a bus stop, shivering and a bit wet from the harsh winds. Earlier today your boyfriend—Fyodor Dostoyevsky, promised that he would pick you up but you've waited at the bus stop for an hour and he never arrived.

You stared at your phone screen shining blue and green wondering what happened, what would his excuse be this time. You left him numerous text messages over the past hour yet he never replied, you were just left on 'delivered' it was like he didn't care.

As if things weren't already tough enough you couldn't even get a cab. You then stood up and decided to just walk to his office by yourself, crying quietly as you walked through the wet streets of Yokohama.

After a while you reached his office, you gently knocked on his door "It's me.." you softly spoke. "Come in." He spoke in a monotonous tone. You opened the door, your clothes and hair were soaking wet and you were shivering.

"What happened to you?" He said nonchalantly, not even looking up from the scattered piles of files on his desk. You closed the door behind you and looked at him, "You forgot to pick me up.." you replied with a shaky tone as you continued to shiver.

"You should've gotten a cab then." He retorted, still not sparing you a single glance, "Seriously?!" You exclaimed angrily while Fyodor still looked calm and didn't seem to care. "That's all you can say?! After you didn't keep your promise?? After you let me down for the nth time?!!" You added. You were now standing in front of his desk, angrily slamming your hands down as you looked at him angrily.

"Are you done with your childish tantrum?" He finally spoke, he didn't even look at you as you expressed your anger and hurt. You looked at him with a shocked expression, you didn't even seem to faze him at all. Did he really not care?

"I thought you loved me.." you mumbled as you looked at the floor with a frown, feeling defeated by the one person who you thought wouldn't make you feel so small.

Fyodor stood up and got in front of you, he gently held your chin with his fingers so that you would meet his gaze, "Love you? How foolish." He spoke with a smug look on his face, "No, I don't love you darling, I just love the things you say." He added, you were simply someone who would feed his ego—a toy perhaps, nothing more, nothing less.

Spontaneous post: 07/06/23 15:08PM GMT+8 Philippine Standard Time

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungo stray dogs #fyodor x reader #angst #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fanfics #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd fyodor #fyodor #fyodor x gn!reader #toxic!fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader

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lucy90712 · 3 months

Text

Road to recovery- Part 4

Masterlist How did he find my instagram? Why did he follow me? So many questions were swirling around my mind. I know he asked for my number but I expected just to never hear from him again I mean he's a very famous footballer who has so many friends and fans wishing him well why does he want to talk to me. It felt so surreal that all of this was happening I expected my life to get a bit crazier with training for and going to the Olympics but once that was taken away from me I didn't expect to still be wondering how I ended up here.

A few of my close friends from school and the gym were quick to message me asking how I was feeling but also freaking out over Pablo liking my post. They wanted all of the details but I didn't give it to them I just gave them a vague story as I didn't think Pablo would want me telling my friends about his personal life. Most of them quickly moved on to telling me I had to try and get him to go on a date with me but I quickly shut them down. As much as I would really love that to happen as I can't lie Pablo is cute and over the day we spent together I have begun to develop feelings I know that it's never going to happen as he could probably have any girl he wanted, someone who is so much better than me in every way.

After not getting much sleep I went to bed quite early and slept in later than I have in years which to most people still wouldn't be that late but to me if felt like I'd finally had a full nights sleep. Like always I picked up my phone to check what I'd missed while I was asleep and I had a couple messages so I went through them until I got to one from an unknown number. As I read it I could feel my phone slipping out of my hand due to the shock. I quickly added the number to my contacts and typed out a reply as the text was sent a few hours ago and I felt bad for not replying sooner.

Pablo

Hey it's Pablo I hope you're doing ok. Thanks for keeping me company in the hospital it was really nice to have someone to talk to. I really want us to keep in contact so feel free to text me at any time

You

I'm doing as well as I can, I hope you're ok too. I'm glad you text as I wanted to thank you for keeping me feeling positive without your encouragement I don't think I'd be feeling as hopeful about my recovery. Also if you ever need anything you can text me too

Pablo

Don't worry about it you helped lift my spirits too so I had to make sure you felt the same I'm just glad we have each other and I really do mean it when I say if you need anything just text me

You

Thank you I really appreciate it

Just reading those texts made me smile. Maybe this injury isn't such a bad thing after all especially if I end up with a friend like Pablo.

Gavi's POV

Since I woke up I've written and rewritten a text to Lola probably 100 times. I want to text her as I really do want to be at least friends with her and I don't want her thinking that I just asked for her number to be nice and that I won't actually keep in contact. I just have no idea what to say I want to come across friendly but we don't know each other well enough for her to know how I text. Eventually I just decided to hit send but then I just kept checking my phone to see if she replied. The longer that went by the more I started to worry that she didn't actually want to hear from me or that I upset her somehow. Eventually I had to stop myself as there is so many plausible reasons that she hasn't answered me yet and I'm only making myself feel worse by thinking about it.

There's not a whole lot I can do but I found something to watch to keep me distracted for a while. It worked until I heard my phone sound out from across the room and I couldn't stop myself reaching for it. As soon as I saw the text was from Lola I typed my passcode in at lightning speed and finally opened the message.

She's so sweet I can't believe I was so cold to her at first I'm so glad she didn't take that to heart as having her to talk to has been so nice. Having someone who's going through the exact same thing and knows the struggle I think will really help both of us which is why I wanted to keep talking to her that and because she's so beautiful that I can't just let her leave my life without getting to know her properly. I don't know if it was because we were forced together or what but I found myself developing feelings for her and not feelings I've felt with any other girl so I have to see where that goes or I know I'll regret it later in life.

I so desperately wanted to see her again but I know that we both need a bit of rest before we start doing too much and realistically we don't know each other that well and I don't want to move too fast and make her uncomfortable. I'm hoping that we can keep talking to try and get to know each other better and then maybe I can ask to see her in person again as I already miss seeing her smiling face across the room from me.

A/n: sorry this is short it's kind of a filler

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #pablo gavi #gavi x reader #football imagine

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hannahwashington · 2 months

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Hello there! Your post about Until Dawn's monsters reached my For You page and I'm afraid I'm uneducated as to why usage of the w word and s-walkers term is offensive and to whom. Could you please fill me in or link me to someone who could? Thanks!

hi! thank you for taking the time to reach out so you can educate yourself. i'm not the best person to explain for a multitude of reasons, but thankfully there's this post that explains the Until Dawn side of it well (though the post doesn't actually discuss UD, just the spirit). from what i've read, the same sort of principles of not saying the creature's name apply to the Navajo creature, though I am far less knowledgeable about that specifically. if i find a good resource, i'll add it to the replies.

since Until Dawn is absolutely a case of cultural appropriation (it was made by a British studio, so, highly doubt Algonquian people were consulted at all, and the text of the game supports this), we as the fans need to acknowledge the way it was handled and criticise it. when not discussing that, but rather talking generally about the game, especially about Hannah and Josh, we must be respectful - so that means not saying the name or at least censoring it.

I'm hoping that, like you, others in the tag are simply uninformed, and not saying it to be malicious/purposefully ignorant.

#until dawn #josh washington #hannah washington #putting this in those tags bc those chars are the relevant ones when it comes to this #supermassive games #ask #anonymous #answered #i hope i answered this sufficiently. again i'm not exactly the best person to ask

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moodymelanist · 1 year

Text

It's Close to Midnight

Happy Halloween, everyone! I wanted to get the first part of this posted in time for ~spooky vibes~, but the smutty part 2 will be coming soon (hopefully sometime this week if I can get my act together lol). Enjoy 👻🎃🧡

Read on AO3 here!

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: None

✷✷✷✷✷

Nesta sighed in relief as she ducked inside Last Rites, a warm tingle washing over her skin the moment she crossed over the bar’s threshold and into its protective wards. It had been a long, long day reviewing manuscripts, and she was more than ready to spend some time blowing off steam with her friends. She easily spotted the two of them sitting with a space left between them at the bar, and she darted through the crowd so she could slump into the empty barstool with a groan.

“Rough day?” Emerie asked from next to her, playing with one of her protection amulets aimlessly.

“Rough week,” Nesta commiserated. She caught the bartender’s attention and ordered a round of drinks for the three of them before turning back to her friend. “Gods, I’m exhausted.”

“Tell me about it,” Gwyn joined in on her left.

“You know I can whip up an elixir for you,” Emerie offered. Her friend was quite the accomplished witch, so much that she taught advanced potions courses at one of the fancy private schools for young spellcasters to hone their abilities. “For both of you. It’s really no problem.”

“I’ll be fine, really,” Nesta replied, offering a tired smile. “Just… hungry.”

Nesta didn’t always like talking about what it was like to be a succubus, but she was certainly thankful she had friends who could understand her predicament. She’d been able to survive on human food until she reached adulthood, and suddenly she’d been forced to learn how to feed on a different kind of sustenance so survive. Things had been easy in college – the sheer amount of sexual energy radiating out of University of Prythian’s Velaris campus had been overwhelming – but she was more than several years out of school, so she’d had to refine her arsenal. Emerie had been a godsend with her ability to whip up elixirs and potions to satisfy Nesta’s hunger, but nothing compared to the rush of taking energy right from the source.

Gwyn patted her hand sympathetically. “I feel you, Nesta. I’ve been getting a little peckish, too, so if you want to go out this weekend…”

Gwyn was a lightsinger, another kind of supernatural creature that fed on life energy. She didn’t need sex to survive, and she didn’t need to feed nearly as often as Nesta did, but it was nice having another person around who understood what Nesta was going through.

“That would be great,” Nesta replied, turning her hand up so she could squeeze Gwyn’s freckled one in thanks. “I’ll text you.”

“We could go to the Vampire Cafe,” Emerie suggested. She smiled in thanks at the bartender as their drinks were delivered a took a sip of her cocktail before continuing. “It’s not like regular mortals can tell much of a difference between us all, anyway.”

Mortals and the supernatural lived alongside each other, many choosing to mingle and spend more time with one another than was strictly necessary. There were all kinds of laws in place about feeding from people unconsensually, but there had long been bars and clubs designed with exceptions to the rules in mind. Mortals came to these kinds of places with the full expectation of hoping to be fed on, and many supernatural creatures were more than happy to take them up on that offer. Mortals got to experience all kinds of crazy highs and benefits depending on what creature they let take a bite, and as long as nobody was permanently hurt, it was all above-board.

As a witch, Emerie bordered the thin line between mortal and supernatural – she was born mortal, but with all that magic in her blood she wouldn’t make a particularly tasty snack. Spellcasters were unique compared to a lot of the other supernatural creatures Nesta had met, and she was certainly thankful to have Emerie in her corner when she knew how powerful her friend was just on her own – with her coven, Emerie was practically unstoppable.

“Are you making plans without me, my love?” Nesta turned to see Cresseida had slid onto the barstool next to Emerie, looking rather unimpressed.

“Never,” Emerie replied, reaching for her girlfriend’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “You know I would’ve sent you a message, princess.”

Cresseida and Emerie had been together for a few months now, but Cresseida could be hard to get a hold of at the best of times considering she was a mermaid. She spent most of her time in the water, but she and some of her more powerful family members had retained the ability to shift into a human form when they walked on land.

Nesta turned to Gwyn to give the couple their privacy, the two of them striking up their own conversation while Emerie and Cresseida continued to flirt. It didn’t take long for them to disappear in the direction of the bathroom, but she and Gwyn were used to this sort of thing, so they knew Emerie would be back to actually catch up once Cresseida was finished having her way.

If anything, Nesta more than understood. She’d had quite the thing for mermaids when she was younger, and even more so in sirens, but she’d had one too many toxic relationships with them to really be interested anymore.

Nesta let her eyes wander over the crowd as Gwyn looked through the menu, trying to decide what to order for the next round. There were all kinds of supernatural creatures inside, from harpies to shapeshifters to your more traditional vampires and werewolves, but her attention snagged on a group of men standing on the other end of the bar from where she and Gwyn sat.

One of the hottest men she’d ever seen was leaning against the counter as he talked to two friends, and she wasn’t exaggerating about his description – not only was he ridiculously attractive, especially in that leather jacket, but even she could see the literal flames dancing in eyes as he played with a tiny ball of flame across his palm. His friends didn’t seem bothered by it, but she doubted they would be friends if they were. They were all similar in appearance, with golden brown skin, dark hair, and whorls of black tattoos peeking out from under their collars, but the similarities stopped there.

The one who’d caught her attention looked the strongest out of the three of them, but she knew better than to let appearances deceive her. He had muscles almost the size of her head, but even the biggest men would drop like a rock if she took too much from them at once.

Still, she wouldn’t mind the opportunity to get a taste. He was a far cry from her usual type, but she couldn’t deny how gorgeous he was, especially when he laughed. His amusement took over his whole body, and even though the bar was too loud to hear what his laugh sounded like, she found herself wanting to know. It wasn’t the only thing she was wondering – she wanted to know what his dark curls would feel like under her fingers, or if those large hands had callouses that would feel incredible on her skin – but it was certainly on the list.

Nesta realized far too late he was looking at her, and she couldn’t jerk her gaze away fast enough to hide her blush at being caught out. She could feel his gaze lingering on her, and she hoped to anyone listening that she wouldn’t be forced to make a fool out of herself. She wasn’t exactly the best at socializing, and there was always the lingering fear that the other person would lose interest once they found out what she was.

“Hey,” Nesta heard from behind her. She turned in her seat to reveal the guy she’d been staring at standing near her, along with one of his friends he’d been talking to across the bar. His friend looked to be the strong and silent type, but he was practically leaking shadows in a way that screamed shadowsinger even to the untrained eye. “Is this seat taken?”

Shit, she thought, panicking somewhat at the realization she’d need to say something.

“Our friend went to the bathroom, but she’ll be a while,” Gwyn swooped in, already eyeing up Hot Guy’s friend with a gleam in her eyes. “So we won’t say no to some new friends until she comes back.”

“Don’t mind if we do, then,” Hot Guy replied with a grin. He slid into Emerie’s former seat while his friend shot him a slightly-panicked look on his way to sit down next to Gwyn. At least someone understood how she felt. “Do you have a name? I can’t just keep calling you Pretty Stalker.”

Nesta snorted despite herself. “I’m Nesta.”

“Nesta,” he repeated, nodding to himself. This close up she could feel the heat radiating off him even though he’d long stopped playing with fire. “I’m Cassian, and my friend over there is Azriel. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she replied. She took a sip of her cocktail just for something to do, and started talking about the first topic that sprung into her mind. “What was with the fire earlier?”

“So I guess Pretty Stalker wasn’t too far off of a nickname, then?” he teased, his eyes lighting up at the return of her blush. “I’m a hellhound. Fire’s part of my whole deal.”

Nesta didn’t know much about hellhounds other than they were supposed to help guard Hell slash the Underworld, but it was still just as impressive watching him play with the tiny flame across his fingers again. This close, she could confirm her suspicions about his calloused hands, and it was all she could do not to grab one and press it against her skin.

“I’m a succubus,” she eventually offered up once he was done showing off. She hoped he wouldn’t be weird about it – not everyone was comfortable with her lifestyle, but she wanted him to be different. She was having fun talking to a stranger, for once in her life, and she wanted to pull a laugh out of him for herself. “No fancy tricks like you, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Cassian responded with a smirk, leaning closer to her so he could lower his voice. “I’ve heard pretty differently.”

“Because mortal men are so forthcoming,” she drawled. She finished her cocktail and set the empty glass gently on the counter, silently impressed as he immediately flagged down the bartender to order them both another round of drinks. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He made an impressed face once he tasted it. “But that’s your problem right there.”

“ Do explain my own state of existence to me, Cassian,” Nesta said with a roll of her eyes. Typical. “It’s really endearing.”

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, I promise,” Cassian said back, laughing. “It’s just – I’ve heard mortals aren’t really that filling for you. You’ve never wanted to try something else?”

“Why, are you offering?” she asked dryly.

“Maybe,” he told her with a grin. He made an obvious show of checking her out, his eyes roaming hungrily over the hint of cleavage showing from her work blouse and the way her fitted slacks hugged the curves of her hips. “Actually – yes. Yes I am.”

Nesta wouldn’t pretend she hadn’t thought about trying another kind of food – another flavor – but other supernatural creatures were understandably squeamish about it in a way that mortal men usually weren’t. She’d never fed on someone that wasn’t mortal before, but then again, it wasn’t as though she’d had the opportunity to do so until now.

Especially not on someone as mouthwatering as Cassian.

“Hmm,” Nesta said eventually, pretending to still be thinking about it.

“Hmm,” Cassian repeated. He was still grinning as he leaned closer to speak directly into her ear. “You wanna get out of here?”

Ten minutes later, Nesta found herself saying a hasty goodbye to Gwyn and firing off an apologetic text to Emerie. Gwyn had just given her a knowing glance before turning back to her conversation with Azriel, and Emerie still hadn’t returned from wherever she’d slithered off to with Cresseida, so as long as she stayed safe, Nesta knew her friends wouldn’t be too choked up about her cutting girls’ night short.

“So, Nesta,” Cassian began as they exited the bar. His apartment was close enough to walk, so they’d decided to brave the cool October air instead of dealing with a cab. “Nes.”

“That’s a stupid nickname,” Nesta retorted.

“Sweetheart,” he suggested instead with an annoying grin. She just rolled her eyes and decided she could argue about the choice of nickname later. “Tell me about yourself.”

“What is this, a job interview?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m trying to find someone who can keep up with me,” he joked. “Preferably a partner, but you wouldn’t believe how unqualified the other candidates have been.”

She huffed a laugh and decided to indulge him anyway. “Uh… I don’t know. I work in editing. I’ve been thinking about getting a cat. I have two sisters.”

“I bet you wield a mean red pen. But a definite yes on the cat, not that they like me very much,” he replied quickly. “Are they succubi, too? Your sisters.”

“No, they’re human.” Nesta couldn’t help but think of how defenseless it made them, even though Feyre hated the idea of seeming weak while Elain often used it to her advantage. “It doesn’t stop them from getting into trouble, though.”

“You sound pretty close,” Cassian observed.

“We’ve had our ups and downs,” she replied with a shrug. She liked being honest with him, so she added, “But things got a lot easier once their father died.”

Owain had technically raised her, but he certainly wasn’t her real father. It was no secret how succubi often came into the world, and Nesta had been no exception. Owain had known from the beginning what she was, and had made his disdain for her very clear.

They both knew he had only provided for her under extreme duress — Rhea had begged him to publicly claim Nesta as his child, and on her deathbed, made him promise to take care of her at least until she could fend for herself. Nesta hadn’t spoken to him since she’d graduated from high school, and had only shown up to the funeral out of respect for her sisters.

Nesta had never met her true father, but she hadn’t been too torn up about losing the next worst thing.

“Daddy issues? Me too,” Cassian joked, pulling her attention back to him. “What is it the kids say these days? You can’t be attractive, have a decent sleep schedule, and have a good relationship with both of your parents. You can only have two out of three.”

“Are you saying you have the first two?” Nesta quipped back, surprising herself. It was fun talking to him in a way she hadn’t experienced in a long time, and she found herself wanting to rile him up and see what he did about it.

“Nah, just the first one,” he replied with a smirk. “But if you’re offering to wear me out enough where I can have a decent sleep schedule, who am I to say no?”

“That’s a pretty tall order, Sparky,” she answered, pulling a full-body laugh out of him. “What do you do that you can’t have a good sleep schedule?”

“Guarding the gates of Hell isn’t exactly the most cushy 9 to 5 out there,” he told her dryly, pulling snort out of her. “My other friend at the bar… let’s just say he has a lot of connections downstairs, and Az and I spend a lot of time making sure they don’t come back to bite him in the ass later.”

“And I thought my day job was exciting,” she told him just as dryly while they waited for the crosswalk signal.

Cassian laughed again, showing off his white teeth. “It’s probably more fun than mine.”

“Because reading someone describe a dick as a ‘throbbing manhood’ is surely more fun than downstairs.” Nesta smiled, secretly pleased at the disbelieving expression on his handsome face. “Trust me, there are even worse ones.”

“Hopefully you don’t use any of said worse ones,” he said with a wink before they crossed the street. They rounded another corner before he began slowing in front of a nice-looking building, pulling out his keys from the pocket of his dark jeans. “I don’t think I could take hearing it.”

“Don’t worry, I stick to the classics,” she responded with a smirk. He held the door open for her and placed a warm hand on her lower back, gently steering her through the lobby and toward the elevators. “Assuming you’re worthy of hearing them, that is.”

“I guess you’ll be the judge of that, hmm?” he asked. They were barely inside the elevators before he was using that hand on her back to pull her to him, telegraphing every move so she could pull away if she wanted. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” she answered, letting herself be tugged closer so they could finally get their hands on one another. His skin felt even hotter now that she could feel it up close, and she couldn’t help but moan at the feel of one of those calloused hands cupping the back of her neck. He kissed just as brazenly as he’d flirted with her, and combined with how much sexual energy she could sense from him, it was enough to make her a little lightheaded.

The ding of the elevator as it stopped on his floor was enough to pull them to their senses, and Cassian grinned as he released her with a final kiss to the cheek before motioning for her to go first. Nesta somehow managed not to embarrass herself by walking away from him, although she couldn’t help but smile as he took her hand and led her down the hallway until they stopped at apartment 536.

“Home sweet home,” Cassian announced as they walked through the door. His apartment was nice and big, possessing that lived-in feel without coming across as too much of a bachelor pad. “Make yourself comfortable. You want anything from the kitchen?”

“You’re the only thing I can really eat in here,” Nesta replied, arching an eyebrow at him. “But water’s fine.”

He just laughed before returning to the kitchen, flipping on lights as he went so neither of them were stumbling in the dark. “Be right back, sweetheart.”

Read Part Two Here!

#acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #moodymelanistwrites #one shot #halloween #succubus!Nesta #demon!Cassian

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aubreyaubretia · 1 year

Text

Legacy

There are dead people in my phone.

Ghosts of my past in my contacts list. Old friends from my childhood. Old friends from middle school. Old friends from high school. Old friends from college. Old friends from old games. Old friends from old hobbies. Old accounts that I still follow. Friends, mentors, role models, enemies, lovers, and family members by blood or by bond.

Their names all still in my phone, as if I could reach out and get back in contact with them and they could actually still reply. Our last words said to each other still visible in our dead chats, archived like mosquitoes in amber. "See you soon." "See you later." "I love you." "I hope you're doing well." "Merry Christmas." "Happy New Year." "Happy Birthday." "I miss you." "I'm thinking of you." "I hope we'll meet again some day."

I carry them all with me. Phone to phone. Place to place. State to state. All in my heart and in my hand and in my pocket. I am made from the people who I love. I am a patchwork of past lives. A quilt of past loves. A collage of past interests. I am a crucible of things that are. Things that were. Things that will never happen. I carry their unfulfilled dreams with me. Lives gone too soon. Words left unsaid. Loves left unsatisfied. I hum their favorite songs, shown to me with smiles on their faces, one ear bud in their ear, one in mine. I read their favorite books, recommended to me on the floors of libraries and classrooms and in the backs of school buses. I watch their favorite movies, given to me on DVDs I forgot to return, shown to me during hang outs long since forgotten, seen in theaters I cannot remember the names of.

I remember getting the news from one source or another. Some accident. Some tragedy. Some unfortunate happenstance. Sometimes I don't get the news at all. Abandoned profile pages. Mutual friends eulogizing on final posts. Obituaries I stumble upon. Gone too soon, and with no warning. Or ample warning. Or by choice. Gone, gone, gone, but not forgotten just yet. I live on, and I love on, like a bulletin board filled to bursting with the creations from children's crayons. A light post swathed in a gown of paper fliers, swaddled against the cold winter air. An overpass wall, graffitied, painted over, and graffitied over and over and over again, each coat of paint a layer of history like rings on a tree. All with messages, with letters, with texts reading over and over and over again different words with different meanings, but all reducing down to: "We were here." "We were here." "We were here." And I am here. I am here. I am here. Until I am gone. And then I become a sturdy stitch in your quilt, doing my best to keep you warm. A colorful flier on your light post, reminding you of a time long since past, plastered over with more recent things. A cheerful tune you hum, but can't remember where you first heard it. And in that way, I hope you remember me. I am here. I am here. I am here. Until I am gone.

#Aubrey writes #sometimes the only way out of a depressive spiral is through it #my writing #legacy

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boatzandhoez · 1 year

Text

Caught My Eye

In which, Y/N is the queen bee of school, and quiet, nerdy boy, Harry, happens to catch her eye.

Warnings: bullying?…

A/N: This is my first post on Tumblr…hope you enjoy :)

(3.2k+ words)

Y/N taps her acrylic white French tip nails on the worn out wooden desk. Her chin rests in the palm of her hand. Her other hand is occupied with twirling a strand of her hair and tapping her nails.

She sighs, not paying any mind to the teacher in front of her going on about some war that happened. Y/N isn’t too sure if she’s being honest.

She sits, counting down the minutes on the digital clock above the door, waiting until she can leave her awfully boring class that happens right before lunch.

Y/N hears her phone vibrate on her desk. She glances over at the teacher, making sure the older man isn’t looking at her. She concludes that it’s safe to check her phone, seeing that her teacher is rambling on about whatever it is he is teaching.

She picks up her phone, a small smirk reaches her lips as she reads the text message in front of her. She bits the inside of her cheek, thinking of something to reply back.

Conner

you look hot in that outfit

Y/N

do I now?

Conner

yeah really fuckin hot

She’s not wearing anything special, just her school uniform, which consists of a soft grey short sleeve polo, with a blue crewneck overtop, a black pleated skirt, black tights, and Y/N paired her outfit with platform back and white vans.

That or she usually will wear a pair of loafers on the day she feels particularly inclined to dressing up a bit more, but today she wanted to dress down as much as possible while still wearing her uniform.

Y/N smiles down at her phone, rolling her eyes. She loves the little ego boost she is getting from the compliment, but she knows that Conner only is trying to get her to fuck him later on.

Y/N is used to this, boys doing whatever they can to gain her attention. Y/N is the most popular girl in school after all.

Y/N isn’t sure how she became popular, but growing up, people always gravitated towards her. Girls wanted to be her friend, boys wanted to be her boyfriend, and people were always fixated on what she was doing.

It also helps that Y/N is beautiful. She’s not beautiful in the way that is innocent, like the colors yellow, and baby pink. She’s beautiful in a seductive way, luring you in, and hooking you on her drug-like induced aura.

Another reason she’s popular is her personality. Y/N is very blunt, she speaks her mind, has no filter, and will destroy anyone who tries to get in her way.

She isn't mean though. She’s only mean when someone crosses her, or irritates her, or if she’s just in a bad mood, but honestly Y/N isn’t rude. She’s not the type of person to make fun of someone based on what they are wearing, or the status they hold. Now, Y/N can admit, she doesn’t go out of her way to talk to people socially below her, but she’s not a bitch to them either.

Y/N is what she likes to refer to, as a half mean girl. She’s not bitchy 24/7, but she certainly isn’t some bubbly nice popular girl that secretly hates her friends, and is a nerd at the core.

Y/N is confident, a seductress, she’s rich, has nice clothes, a nice car, a huge house to go home to everyday. She has lots of friends, but Josie, and Kate are her two favorites. She gets whatever she sets her mind to. She can be manipulative if it comes down to it.

Y/N is that bitch, and she’s well aware.

She chooses not to respond to Conner, instead, she shuts her phone off, and goes back to staring at the clock.

The minutes tick by slowly, Y/N begins to feel sleepy from the boring lecture. Like heaven singing in her ears, the bell rings.

Y/N wastes no time grabbing her Lululemon backpack, and flinging it over her shoulder. She enters the crowded hall, her head held high in the air, as she walks.

People part like the Red Sea to move out of her way. No one dares get in her way, which Y/N is very smug about. She loves the power she has over everybody.

“Hi, Y/N.” Kate, one of Y/N’s best friends walks up next to her, threading their arms together. “How are you?”

“Hi, Kate. I’m doing good.” Y/N replies with a soft smile.

“You’re not hung over from last night?” Kate furrows her brows, tilting an accusing head at Y/N.

Y/N returns the same expression, shaking her head. “No, I’m not. Should I be?”

“Oh, no, not at all.” Kate rushes out in one breath.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” Y/N raises an accusing brow at her friend, which makes her squirm a little. One thing about Y/N is when she is serious, she is extremely intimidating.

“Oh, it’s nothing really, I promise, it’s just you know, we all drank so much last night. I have a small headache, and I thought you would too.”

“I can handle my alcohol Kate. I’m not Payton.” Y/N rolls her eyes, huffing. She hates Payton with a passion.

Payton is a girl that hangs around them, but is extremely annoying, and for the life of her cannot drink. She always blacks out ruining the fun for everyone, plus, she tries to hook up with all the guys Y/N talks.

That part doesn’t bother her that much, it truly is how much the girl tries to pry into Y/N’s life like she has some spot claimed in it.

Y/N sleeps around pretty often. She loves sex, it’s a lot of fun, plus an orgasm is one of her favorite remedies to distress. She mainly sleeps with guys on the football team because their stamina is insane from kicking balls all day.

She doesn't, however, go farther than that. She has never been interested in a guy past fucking them. A lot of the guys she fucks egos are too big for her to tolorate. She will either ignore them the next day, or if she thinks they are good enough, will tell them she only wants them for sex, and is willing to start a sort of fuck buddy relationship.

A real relationship with feelings, sweet talking, confessions of love, holding hands, giving innocent kisses, dreaming of the person, and so on and so forth is something Y/N has no desire for.

Or at least, that’s what she tells herself, but like most people who claim they aren’t into dating, there is a small part of her that does think about being with someone romantically, and her tummy flutters.

“Hey Peyton is a lightweight, give her a break.” Kate nudges Y/N in her side, giggling as Y/N rolls her eyes at her statement.

“Then she shouldn’t try and finish an entire bottle everytime we decide to drink, and get confused when everyone is annoyed with her the next day from all the shenanigans she put on through the night.” Y/N reasons, giving her friend a pointed look.

Kate simply shakes her head, and pulls Y/N closer to her body as they walk down the hall, making their way outside, towards the lunch table scattered around.

Y/N attends a prestigious private school. Any parents who have a lump sum of wealth send their kid there.

Uniforms are something Y/N has to wear everyday which annoys her because she has a serious addiction to shopping. She has so many clothes in her closet that she really only gets to wear and appreciate two days out of the whole week.

Y/N being popular however means she has a very lively social life, and it’s rare for her to not have anything to do during the weekdays.

Usually it’s either going to one of her friends' houses to hang, or going to the mall, or going out to eat. Sometimes it’s a small kickback, or a smoke sesh. No matter what, Y/N is booked and busy, so her clothes get some love, but not as much as she wants to give out.

Y/N shivers at the slight breeze blowing outside. Y/N sighs as she looks at the gray cloudy sky, a sight that she is used to looking at.

From a distance Y/N can see the group of people she subjects herself to hanging out with. Y/N doesn’t mind hanging out with them, but she isn’t excited to see the same faces everyday.

“Hey chica.” Conner whistles as the two girls approach the table. Conner taps the empty part of the bench next to him, gesturing for her to take a seat.

She gives him a knowing smirk, and struts to the spot taking a seat. As she sits she makes sure to brush her thigh against his.

“So…what’s the plan for tonight?” Kate asks as she slips next to Josie, who is bundled up in a big coat. Josie is anemic so she tends to get cold easier.

“Aren’t we going to the diner?” Josie asks as she shivers.

“Jesus Josie, I can hear you shivering from here, are you okay?” Y/N reaches her hand across the table, taking Josie’s ice cold one into her grip.

As her hand meets Josie’s cold skin, she nearly jumps from a hand gripping her thigh out of nowhere. She whips her head to the side, and narrows her eyes at Conner, who is looking back at her smugly.

“Easy.” She whispers under her breath, warning him. She doesn’t particularly hate the feeling of Conner’s big hand stroking her leg slowly, but she also isn’t in the mood to try and entertain any of his sexual advances.

“I’m okay.” Josie’s voice snaps Y/N’s attention back onto her. “I ran out of iron pills last night, and didn’t take one this morning. My blood sugar is just really low, but my brother is bringing me one right now actually.” She shrugs her shoulders.

Sometimes Y/N forget that Josie has a fraternal twin brother. They never hang out, and are in completely different crowds from what she knows. Liam Payne, her brother, hangs around people who are on the lower side of the social ladder, so she rarely talks to him.

That, and he just keeps to himself. When Y/N and Kate choose to hang out at Josie’s house, her brother is usually over at his own friend's house, or cooped up in his room playing video games.

Josie has expressed to Y/N that Liam isn’t a big fan of any of her friends anyways. She says he doesn’t understand how she could hang out with such shallow people.

He was smart enough to exclude Y/N and Kate from that statement because Y/N is anything but shallow.

Speaking of Liam, Y/N lifts her gaze, and sees him approaching their table. He has a group of people behind him. She recognizes everyone but one in the group.

Y/N doesn’t know why, but she can’t seem to tear her eyes away from the boy with curly hair, tucked under a beanie.

She has crossed paths with Zayn, Louis, and Niall. Multiple times at that, but the tall boy, who has his head down, picking at the sleeve of his sweater is someone she has never seen a day in her life.

Her tummy warms the longer she looks at him. She so desperately wants to catch his eyes to see what they look like.

“Josie.” Liam calls out, catching everyone’s attention. Josie turns her head over her shoulder, and smiles up at her brother as he reaches the table.

“Hi, Liam.” Josie greets her brother. His friends behind him all have their heads down, almost as if they were afraid to look up.

Y/N almost forgot that Conner’s hand was on her thigh until his fingers began to trail up her inner thigh, his fingertips brushing the edge of her thong.

Y/N doesn’t know why she didn't do it, usually she just lets it happen because no one else can see, and she loves getting riled up, but right now, his touch is annoying her more than anything.

She shoves his hand away completely, focusing all her attention back on Josie’s brother, well more so the boy behind him.

“Here.” Liam shoves a ziplock bag into Josie’s hands. “Mom put the actual bottle in your bathroom.”

“Harry Styles is that you?” Y/N hears Conner say from beside her. There is a certain tone to her voice that gives her a hint that Conner isn’t about to give whoever he is talking to a hard time.

The boy who Y/N had been staring at lifted his head. His wild green eyes lock with Y/N’s and her insides begin to swirl. She feels a current of electricity ripple down her body the longer he looks at her.

Holy fuck. Is all Y/N can think right now. Y/N is sure she’s never seen a more innocently beautiful person before until laying her eyes on him.

Medium plump heart shaped lips, bright red cheeks, a chiseled jaw, and hauntingly captivating eyes.

All of the features that belong to this so-called Harry, unknowingly tattoo themselves onto her brain, for her to never forget.

She wiggles in her seat, feeling all hot, and tingly from looking at him. She watches the gorgeous man in front of her swallow before shifting his eyes over to next to her where Conner is sat.

“Y-yeah, s’me.” Harry says softly. His voice is deep, and raspy. Y/N thinks it’s extremely attractive, and it only makes her stomach knot tighter.

“Still stumbling over your words like a bitch I see.” Conner laughs, reaching across the table to receive a fist bump from Michael, a guy who is on the football team with Conner.

Harry gulps, looking down at the ground ashamed. Y/N almost blurted out something in his defense, something along the lines of ‘no need to be such a dick, Conner’ or ‘fuck off Conner and go choke on something for talking to him in such a way’, but she doesn’t. Instead, she sits back quietly watching the scene in front of her unfold.

What, nothing to say now?” Conner taunts.

“Fuck off Conner, and leave him alone.” Zayn speaks up in his defense.

Conner scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I think gamer boy over here can speak for himself, can’t you Styles, or are you going to stumble over those words too?”

“Yeah Styles, are you going to s—s—speak for yourself?” Michael joins in on the teasing.

She doesn't know why, but she feels anger start to bubble deep inside of her. Usually when one of the boys picks on someone, she doesn’t pay any mind.

Like stated earlier, Y/N is no saint, she honestly is more of a sinner than anything. She never feels anything when Conner and his friends choose to be a dick to someone.

The fact that all she feels right now is red hot rage at Conner is choosing to be a dick to Harry out of all people scares her a bit because she doesn’t even know him.

Y/N isn’t cold hearted or anything, but she isn’t easy to catch the attention of. Guys try to butter her up all the time. They compliment her, do anything she says, they’ll pay for her nail sets, eyebrow waxing appointments, and other things. Y/N doesn’t need their money, but always accepts because free is still free at the end of the day, plus she loves the small power trip she feels knowing that people are so desperate to simply talk to her that they’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy.

The fact that a boy she has never seen before has caught her attention like this, to the point that she is feeling defensive over him is absurd, and needs to go away.

Y/N doesn’t like that this Harry guy is making her feel all weird inside, but what she doesn’t like even more than that is Conner being rude to Harry.

She almost says something, but decides in the end to sit quietly and let boys be boys, even though this isn’t something she thinks these boys should be doing.

“Hey, why don’t you fuck off and stop being a dick to him!” Niall says this time, getting ready to launch over the table for the sake of his friend.

“It’s fine really guys.” Harry scratches the back of his neck. She doesn’t know why, but his eyes drift back to hers for a split second before snapping back over to Conner. “Look we’re leaving, s-sorry to bother.”

Y/N hates how Harry is saying sorry when he didn’t do shit wrong. She hates how intimidated the boy seems around them. She wonders how long Conner and his friends have been picking on the green eyed beauty.

Harry’s friends all turn to leave on Harry’s queue, but Harry doesn’t turn around right away. He makes a last glance at Y/N. This time his eyes linger longer.

It gives Y/N enough time to flash Harry one of her signature smiles that captures any boy right in her trance. She wiggles her fingers discreetly at him.

Harry’s eyes widen, and he takes a big gulp before turning around quickly, and walking off far away from Y/N and her group of friends.

Harry hopes that he doesn’t have to encounter anyone at that table again. He felt humiliated while Conner and his friend were taking a piss at him. He doesn’t think he can face them, especially Y/N.

Harry is well aware that the most popular girl in school is. Everyone does. Y/N is talked about more in school than the material the students are learning.

He hadn’t expected to see one of his best mate’s sisters sitting with the one and only in the flesh. Sure Harry has seen her around, but never that close.

It made him feel nervous and hot all over. His ears were on fire the whole time from embarrassment.

He really does hope that he never has to face her again. He fears that she might make fun of him, which for some reason the idea of her out of all people taking a piss at him makes his stomach knot tightly.

It’s no secret that Y/N has a fiery side to her that isn’t afraid to snap when it’s necessary, and anyone in her line of fire will burn, and the aftermath of the burns are detrimental.

Yeah, Harry really doesn’t want to run into her again.

But little does Harry know, that this is far from the last time he’ll be seeing the queen bee. Harry doesn’t realize it yet, and neither does Y/N, but Harry has caught her eye, and now she’s hooked.

#nerd!harry #harry styles #harry au #Harry #oneshot #harry edward styles #harry fic #harry styles x y/n #nerd!Harry x popular!y/n #popular!y/n #one direction #frat boy harry

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fallinnflower · 2 years

Text

method acting

dk x reader (actor!au, drama, fluff)

wc: 833

a/n: another dialogue prompt i did a little while back. one of my bigger projects is almost finished and ready for posting. thank you everyone for your continued support and patience~ mwah~!

You stand up abruptly, the chair scraping backward with the force of your reaction. Seokmin remains seated, unperturbed by your intensity. His relaxed posture is far different from yours, with your hands balled into trembling fists at your sides and muscles tensed in preparation for a thus undetermined fight or flight. He looks down his sharp nose at you, brows raised just slightly and lips pressed into a thin, flat line. It's as you're staring him down, his aloof expression fueling the fire of rage in your stomach, that you finally find your voice, fight overtaking flight.

"I will find out who killed my husband, with or without your help," you say, each word leaving your mouth sharply and determinedly, in a way that you hope is forceful enough to get a reaction out of him.

So you stare Seokmin down, keeping your expression steely as he meets your gaze. Finally, he narrows his eyes, leaning back in his chair with an indiscernible expression that makes your heart skip a nervous beat. You maintain your cold, tough veneer as best you can, jaw clenched so tightly shut that it's beginning to hurt.

However, as the silence continues to hang in the air, you find your resolve faltering, brows slowly drawing closer together in response to his silence. A muscle in your jaw ticks, and you immediately break character. Your shoulders slump from the tension, and you lean your head back to stretch your stiff neck with a sigh.

"Seokmin," you whine, glancing down at your script, "pausing for dramatic effect is nice and all, but did you really have to wait that long?" You skim over the text again, reassuring yourself that you did indeed say the correct line. Your co-star doesn't reply immediately, once again, and you look up with the full intention of scolding him — only to find him gazing at you already, cheeks and ears tinged a pleasant pink.

"Seokmin?" you ask, and he shakes his head, eyes darting away from you. Nervously, he clears his throat, eyes still cast to the side, and you find yourself even more perplexed than before.

"You feeling okay?" you ask, setting down the script and reaching a hand out to feel his forehead. He flinches at the sudden contact but then goes completely still as you try to gauge his temperature.

"Sorry," he blurts, lightly grabbing your hand as you begin to pull it away.

"What's wrong? Did you forget your line?" you ask, gently rubbing circles on the back of his hand with your thumb. Seokmin looks down at your joined hands and purses his lips nervously,

"Not exactly…" His reticence and reluctance to look you in the eyes leave you both confused and a bit irritated at his antics now, especially since this scene had been going so well this read-through. It had taken you so long to figure out just how to deliver this scene properly, only for Seokmin to freeze up on you during your best run yet.

You heave a sigh, ready to tell him it's time to call it a day, but he tightens his grasp on your hand ever so slightly, as though sensing your intentions.

"It's just… I'm embarrassed to admit it."

"Admit what?" Seokmin's shyness suddenly makes you anxious — what could possibly have made him so silent? After taking a moment to compose himself, he finally lifts his chin and meets your gaze, still looking rather sheepish.

"You, um — you know how sometimes people say someone is hot when they're angry?" he asks, voice small. You nod, and Seokmin glances away again before continuing.

"Yeah, you're— I—"

"Seokmin," you interrupt, reaching out with your free hand to card your fingers through his hair, giggling under your breath as you watch him struggle to find the words. "Are you trying to say I'm hot when I'm acting angry?"

"You just looked so pretty I got distracted!" he whines, finally breaking out of whatever anxious funk he'd been in, now grasping your hand in both of his. "I couldn't remember my lines, but I didn't want to make you feel awkward." His exaggerated pout immediately has you laughing at his cuteness, and you sit down on the arm of the chair he's in and shake your head fondly.

"Ah, and everyone was saying you're the professional," you tease, and he whines again.

"Hey, I'm good at my job! It isn't my fault you're so pretty," he retorts, though his voice trails off at the end, seemingly because he notices the sudden lack of space between the two of you.

"Well, how do we work past this in time for filming, then?" you ask, and at that Seokmin smiles blindingly.

"I have a few ideas," he says, eyes sparkling, and although you find yourself taken aback at his sudden boldness, you soon regain your composure enough to respond in kind. You lean in even closer, breath mingling as you reply,

"Then I say we try them all."

#caratwritersclub #cwc #dk scenarios #dk fics #dk fanfiction #dokyeom scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #My writing

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puppyluver256 · 8 months

Text

[Image Descriptions: Two nearly identical images. Both feature a feminine person with light skin and short brown hair, seen from the back. They are wearing a purple t-shirt and blue denim pants. They have both their hands up in front of them, the middle finger of each extended. Beyond them is the depiction of the abrahamic god yahweh (or allah, or any number of other names) used in the Shin Megami Tensei franchise, specifically as seen in SMT4 Apocalypse, taking on the form of several identical floating heads of the same old man, seemingly made of gold and all scowling at the person blatantly insulting it while in its presence. Text on the image reads as follows:

"It cast its creation to ruin for the crime of wanting to know." "It drowned countless innocents in a vain attempt to rid them of evils it had made." "It demanded a father sacrifice his son. It ruined a man's life for the sake of a personal gamble." "It ordained and commanded the taking of slaves, the violation of women, and the abuse of children." "It murdered its own son before it could even be bothered to forgive anyone of the wrongs it so selfishly perceived to be done against it." "Those of certain groups claim that one day, every knee shall bow before this monster. Were it to be real, I shall not bow. I shall stand firm and tall before the tyrant of the skies, in opposition of all its evil couched in the language of the good, and present to it a salute befitting my fury at its indignant entitlement."

The second image removes the text, allowing the illustration behind to be seen completely unobscured.

End ID.]

-----

I'm having very strong feelings about religions' insistence--specifically christianity, as that's my experience--that people follow its rules whether or not they genuinely believe it. I'm especially having strong feelings about the specific god shared by three major religions, even if they want to pretend there's enough distinction between their views on it to make it count as different between them.

So to everyone who would ever say people like me will have no choice but to bow to their god after I'm dead and literally can't do or experience anything, this one's for you. I hope it gets you just as angry as it makes me to see kids get roped into this near-endless cycle of needless guilt and coercion. And for those of you who are like me and are frustrated with the secular world being bent so far by these zealots as it reaches the breaking point of potential theocracy coming to ill-earned power in the more influential nations, I hope this inspires you to speaking out for yourselves.

...and yes, this is SMT yahweh, it's the best visual representation of this asshole for the point I'm making and it also makes it easier to make the image composition as a whole more visually appealing when I can just copy-paste the same angy head over and over again.

💖🐶 Check out my pinned post for ways to support my artwork, among other things! 🐶💖

~Likes are appreciated, but reblogs are preferred as they let more people see my artwork! If you have something to say, feel free to give feedback in tags/comments/replies as well!~

My persona and artwork © PuppyLuver Studios This particular visualization of yahweh, the abrahamic god, is property of ATLUS, but yahweh is a public domain character so anyone can do whatever the hell they want with it. No matter what the people in its book club say.

#atheism #knock knock get the door it's religion #and how you can't make someone follow yours through threats #shin megami tensei #jess drew the thing #jess drew themself #sfw #image description #religion cw #christianity cw #yahweh

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beautifulhigh · 1 year

Note

I have a question for you that I really hope you'll answer. But if you think it might start discourse you'd rather avoid, I understand if you ignore this.

So I love both OG and LS and I follow a bunch of popular blogs in both fandoms. but so many of those folks watch only one of the two shows and are pretty rude about the other one, by insulting cast members and making fun of even the popular well-received storylines. often they don't tag such posts in any particular way so there's no way to filter those out. I sent a few of them asks requesting if they'd tag such posts. Some agreed to but they haven't actually done it. I've seen you interact in a pretty friendly way with some of those accounts and I'm wondering, how do you do it? Everyone always says to unfollow but I genuinely don't want to miss out on the other posts these ppl share. I enjoy those other posts. It's just these particular posts that diss the shows that I want to avoid but can't. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried laughing it off, but I don't think I'm very good at managing my emotions because I always still end up feeling low and negative when I see such posts. How do you manage to interact with people with opinions you clearly don't share? I'd really appreciate any tips. I really don't want to withdraw from these two fandoms but I don't know how to remain while also maintaining a healthy emotional state.

Firstly, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I really am. And I want to stress that this reply is 100% around my experience and the way I have curated my fandom experience, and YMMV. I hope that it doesn't vary too much but this is how I deal with it. I'm going to tag a few people in this, people who I have on my dash, purely to illustrate the diversity and how you can approach things.

I'm also going to pre-empt things and say that if you read a line and you get mad at me for that one line, I want you to do two things. Firstly, I want you to go outside and touch grass. Secondly, I want you to maybe read the full thing and engage some level of critical thinking before you start yelling at me that I'm being inconsiderate because you have a grass allergy so how DARE I tell you to go touch grass?

Also, because I want this to have a bit of a reach and I know people do curate their dashes, I'm going to be a bit sneaky with how I refer to things to actively circumvent any filters. Should make sense what I'm actually referring to but if you're not sure then please ask.

Step one

Curate your experience. I mean this. One of the few joys of this hellsite is that you are in control over your dash. You can't control who people on your dash reblog but you can start with who is on your dash. If you don't want to block anyone then you can filter by blog names and install add ons like Tumblr Savior.

Step two

Remember why you're on this hellsite in the first place. Chances are it's for fandom purposes. And, given the premise of your ask, I'm going to focus on the TV element of it. So you're here because you like one or both of the weewoo shows and you want to share thoughts and ideas and reblogs of gif sets of people who are WAY too pretty to just be out there like normal people. And because we're hardwired that way, we want to seek connections with people. So we follow blogs and we talk to people and we have our mutuals and we message then and chat with them and we develop relationships with them because we all watch the same TV show.

But – and this is the point that I think a lot of fandom forgets. It's a fucking TV show. That's it. A silly little show which is 99% designed for entertainment and distraction. I am not ignoring the fact that there will be parts of both shows which have impact above and beyond the show, but Ryan Murphy et al did not set out to make shows with the primary goals of changing people's lives.

It is a TV show. It isn't actually life or death. So the first thing you need to ask yourself I have represented in a nice little flow chart with ALT text:

Negative and hateful ideas

Yes, it's a TV show. But that doesn't stop shitty people saying shitty things. I love that both OG and LS have a diverse cast. I love that both of them explore difficult issues such as addiction and a sense of self-worth. I love that both of them have characters who are tragedy magnets and are both dealing with an entire back story of guilt and grief and a sense of failure and so we are rooting for them to find the self-worth that we know they deserve. Is this Evan? Tyler Kennedy? Both of them? Maybe Eduado, or Carlos? Both captains have their tragedy stories.

But what I'm talking about here is people making comments that are, no matter your views or stances, way out of line. Be them about the characters or the actors, you know exactly the kind that I mean. Commenting on the ethnicity, gender, sexuality of characters/actors. Making statements about race or religion. The Big Stuff that most of us know is way out of line.

So if someone is hating on "Buddy" because one of them is of Latinex descent? Screw you, step on a Lego. If you're hating on "Tarlus" because both of the actors are queer? You can fuck right off now. If you dislike Hen's storylines because she's a proud, queer black woman? Sit on a spike. If you want Paul to shut up and go away because he's trans? Walk off a short pier.

If you wish Owen had less seggsy and screen time? You'll find friends in both camps! But that's about the character and the storytelling.

A good rule of thumb is: can it be changed? If no, don't be a bitch about it. Oliver can't change his birthmark, Alisha can't change her skin colour, Rafael can't change his sexuality, Brian can't change his gender identity.

But they could write "Buddy" as queer. They could write Owen not drooling over some woman. And so we are going to have and express opinions over this.

We know where those lines are and those are the ones we have to draw. We have to shut down those voices and make it clear that they are not welcome because a) we need to make sure there are more safe spaces than there aren't, and b) we need to send the message that this kind of hate isn't OK.

Now where fandom seems to have an issue is where it comes to different opinions. This is because we equate what we like with who we are, and for many people fandom is a part of their identity as a person. There are so many reasons for this – good and otherwise. You see yourself represented in the show, the characters. The storylines resonate with you. It got you through the worst time in your life. You met amazing people because of it. Fandom is a good thing, it truly is, and it exists BECAUSE people take shows and characters and storylines to heart.

So if you come at the fandom then it feels like you're under attack. But you're not. Have another flow chart, also with alt text.

And I'm going to tag my wonderful friend @capseycartwright in this because she hates LS with a passion. I would go so far as to say it's probably visceral? Still follow her, still love her, and I still read her "Buddy" fics because she's an amazing writer. And the reason for this is because there isn't a single comment she makes about LS that is personal or hateful or spiteful. She just doesn't like it.

Now even if she did make a post saying "anyone who watches LS is dumb" I'll still follow her. Because if I follow my flow chart, even though I would call her a friend and maybe say I know her? She's not someone I'm related to and I don't have to deal with her on the day to day. Also she's not saying "Jen is dumb for liking LS". Even if she was, still not related so whatevs.

I'm also going to tag @paperstorm who isn't an OG fan, doesn't watch it at all, isn't at all shy in expressing her opinions on anything. If OG stuff crosses her dash she doesn’t engage. [Edited to clarify]

Now when @capseycartwright makes a post about LS, one of two things happen. Most of the time I just keep on scrolling. She's expressing her opinion about a show she doesn't watch, doesn't like, and has picked up on something that she's commenting on. She's not saying anything awful that would be picked up on the first flow chart so why do I care? I'm not going to get her to change her mind and honestly? It doesn't matter if she does or she doesn't.

I may comment – like I did on her wedding post – if I feel I can offer something to help explain something. She posted about "Tarlus" not cancelling the wedding so, as someone who has watched the episodes and had the information, I pointed out that they were absolutely going to do that but even the grieving widow was all for them having it go ahead.

The trick here is to be respectful. If I come at her with "well ACTUALLY" then it's not going to work. I just dropped in, said my bit, then left. People are still going to think the wedding shouldn't have happened - hell, there's people in the LS fandom who feel like that.

Could it have been written differently? Yes. So opinions get to be had and respected so long as they're respectful, as per the first flow chart.

We can debate if they should have gotten married in the episode. I'm not debating their right to get married.

When @paperstorm responds to an OG ask about something, same principle. Is she being hateful? No. Can I add anything to help explain/clarify? If yes, do it then move on. [Edited for clarity]

Be the change etc etc

If I wanted to start a fight, I could drop into the tags "OMG Buddy/Tarlus is awful and the characters deserve so much better". And people who have made fandom a huge part of who they are will take that a lot more to heart than people who haven't. Only you know where you fall on that spectrum.

Most people are not going to change their minds. I'm not going to be able to convince @capseycartwright that Tarlus are endgame and get her signed up to the "Peaches and Cherries" crew. I'm not going to convince @paperstorm that the OG crew are a wonderful example of how the love of your found family can help you rebuild and find strength with your blood family. And neither of them are going to convince me to bail on the other show!

Fandom doesn't recruit through arguments. Fandom recruits through gif sets and fics and metas and all of the good stuff that comes out of enjoying a show. Fandom grows through people sharing their love of a show and the characters involved in it. It doesn't recruit and it doesn't grow through arguments.

So if people are saying stuff you don't agree with, so long as they are not hurting anyone? Let them. Why are you ruining your peace and your enjoyment yelling into the wind? If you don't follow them and you're only coming across them because they are tagging their hate so it shows in the tags, then realise they're doing it to get the reaction from you. I'm not letting that petty win so I will keep on scrolling. And if it's on my dash? Well then I will just check that they've not decided to indulge in some -ism statements, and then I will keep on scrolling.

Because fandom is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be uplifting. And there is enough shit out there in the world right now without yucking someone else's yum. Even if you don't understand it. (I don't understand how anyone can eat mushrooms, but I'm not running around a restaurant knocking them off people's plates.)

We like different things. We like what others dislike. And there are so many ways for you to find room and balance those things in your life if you want to. If they don't want to then that's their issue, not yours. Think about the friends you have IRL – do you share every single interest with them? Some of my closest friends are huge Drag Race fans, but not once have I had an issue with them discussing it in our group chat or making plans which exclude me for them to go and see shows.

I don't care that @capseycartwright is a huge Buddy fan. She loves them, it brings her joy, and so I love that for her. I love that she has something in this world which brings her enjoyment, even if I don't share it.

I don't care that @paperstorm doesn't like OG, and I'm pretty certain she doesn't care that I do.

What I do care about is whether it matters in the grand scheme of things. And honestly? More of fandom doesn't matter in the Big Picture than does. It matters when we use it to do great things. It matters when it helps people feel seen and heard and represented. It doesn't matter when your ship isn't canon/gets married.

tl;dr – if people are being deliberately shitty then the block button is your friend. Otherwise, why does it matter if someone has a different opinion to you?

I know this has gotten stupid long, but I wanted to do it justice because you seem to be struggling with it. And if you ever want to talk to me off anon then please do.

#fandom talk #jen answers stuff #anonymous #not tagging shows or ships #because I don't want this caught in blacklists

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compassionatereminders · 1 month

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Hello,

I’ve just had this on my mind for so long and have no clue who to go to to let it out to so I hope you don’t mind me doing it here, just to let this off my chest. I had a childhood best friend, we grew up as neighbors. We’ve always been close, like peas in a pod, since we practically learned how to walk basically. I did always get the inkling feeling that she doesn’t see me the same way as I do. I was also warned of this by people around me quite a lot, telling me that she doesn’t value me as much as I did her and that she only comes to me when convenient. I refused to believe anyone. Until, she moved away for college….without saying a single goodbye. No hug. No I’m gonna go now. Mind you, we practically live next door. I didn’t even get a text or a call about it. On the other hand, she even had a goodbye dinner with her other friend that lived in a different city and even posted pictures and stuff. But she couldn’t even reach out to do so much as say goodbye before she left to me. I wouldn’t even have minded us not getting to hang one last time cause I know she was probably also busy packing to move. But if she could go hang with her other friend, surely she could’ve at least reached out and said bye right? We knew each other our entire lives btw. The type where people associated us together because we were always together. Nearly two decades worth of friendship, and she didn’t even say bye. I found out she left through her mom’s Facebook post…. In retrospect, I’ve always had a feeling she felt more superior than me in the duration of our friendship. I always wanted to fit in and be close despite our different interests. But I feel like she doesn’t value me as much as I thought she did. She would sometimes not even so much as extend an invitation to an event her family is hosting but would invite a bunch of other popular people she’s not even that close to. I constantly blamed myself, I thought it was because I wasn’t interesting enough, didn’t have enough similar hobbies as her, wasn’t as rich and popular as her other friend, wasn’t cool enough, etc… But now I’ve just come to realize maybe it wasn’t a me problem after all. But, although there are definitely things she had done that were not nice, there were also tons of times she was the only one that comforted me at my lowest and understood me the best. We always had endless things to talk about. Yet, I still always felt like she’s so out of my reach. I do miss her. We’re not necessarily on bad terms or anything, she just carried on living her life normally and since we are in the same friend group, we all still text sometimes in the group chat, but I don’t recall having a proper convo since. It’s also very confusing to see her just up and leave without saying goodbye yet still be wishing me happy birthdays and replying back to my texts in the group chats like we’ve always had. Because the moment she made the choice to not say goodbye and leave, I haven’t viewed her the same since. It sucks knowing that I’ve been mourning this friendship endlessly and been having a hard time moving on from this, whilst she is probably completely unaware and unfazed about how much impact her lack of action has on me. She probably thinks I still see her the same way (or maybe she can’t even be bothered to care anymore since I am of no use anymore to her). Although reaching out to her and talking it out may be an option, but I don’t feel like it’s worth it. If she doesn’t even value me enough to do this, then I don’t think I want to reach out and rekindle our friendship. Why should I be the one to reach out and beg for her attention when she couldn’t care less about me? Or am I just overthinking and looking too deep into this. Do you have any tips on how to learn to move on from a friendship that didn’t serve you well? I’m really sorry for the long message, I have been crying my eyes out and really needed an outlet. Thank you if you read through all this. I really appreciate it.

Lots of love

That's a really poor way to end such a long friendship and I'm really sorry you had to experience this. Even if you want to move on, some situations definitely call for a proper goodbye - and this ain't it!

#chat with kat

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