DYNAMICS   :   yasmin   santiago   and   antonio   santiago   .

antonio   santiago,   is   the   patriarch   of   the   santiago   family   and   current   sovereign   of   the   dominion   coven.   although   he   is   the   first   born   child   of   his   generation   of   the   santiago   family,   understanding   the   pressure   that   it   puts   on   their   shoulder,   didn’t   make   him   any   less   toxic.   yasmin   and   antonio   were   similar   in   more   ways   than   one   as   much   as   she   hates   to   admit   it.   he   wasn’t   the   perfect   father,   furthest   from   it,   with   loyalties   lying   with   the   general   population   of   the   public   rather   than   his   own   family,   he   did   provide   some   tips   to   help   yasmin   manage   her   duties   to   the   coven.   he   didn’t   help   her   out   of   the   goodness   of   his   heart;   it   was   because   she   was   their   next   leader   and   he   couldn’t   have   her   fail   and   make   a   mockery   of   the   santiago   name.   she   needed   to   be   prepared   for   everything   that   will   come   her   way.   antonio   protected   her   from   all   attempted   assassinations,   discovered   who   set   everything   in   motion,   and   then   executed   for   their   acts   of   treason.  with   yasmin   fulfilling   the   covens   prophecy,   everyone   knowing   that   it   was   her   that   would   make   the   biggest   change   to   the   group   since   the   start,   he   couldn’t   help   but   brag.  

she   was   a   trophy   daughter   who   he   was   happy   to   display.   even   then,   yasmin   was   still   not   good   enough   in   any   aspect.   constantly   having   someone   train   her   since   he   had   no   time   to   do   it   himself   to   the   point   of   yasmin   having   near   mental   breakdowns.   antonio   always   made   yasmin’s   feelings   feel   invalid   and   explained   that   she   does   not   have   the   luxury   to   display   any   kind   of   weakness.   it   was   a   curse   that   affected   his   entire   personality   and   connections   to   other   people.  yasmin   thought   for   a   brief   time   the   way   he   acted   towards   her   was   his   own   display   of   affection   and   love,   but   as   she   grew   up,   she   came   to   the   realization   that   it   was   an   unrealistic   expectation.  

he   never   hugged   her,   told   her   that   he   was   proud   of   her   and   most   certainly   never   told   her   that   he   loved   or   even   cared   for   her,   nothing.   it   was   just   out   of   obligation   to   keep   the   santiago’s   ruling   and   needed   yasmin   to   be   the   best   of   the   best.   when   he   signed   his   rights   away,   antonio   was   extremely   unhappy   and   uncertain   about   the   entire   ordeal.   yet,   when   the   deal   was   struck   that   if   bubby   was   to   take   her,   yasmin   will   go   through   the   covens   heiress   initiation   and   become   the   next   ruling   body   for   them   or   else   she   will   be   disowned   from   the   family   and   dominion   coven.   yasmin   has   made   threats   to   leave,   but   his   threats   were   promises.   not   only   to   put   an   assassination   on   her   life,   but   bubby’s   and   manny’s.   they   were   pawns   in   his   game   and   yas   saw   no   way   out.

soft spot | Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

summary: Bucky, the diner owner pining for the reader, a regular at the diner and best friend, for years.

a/n: i wanted to post a Peter Parker fic but i had writer's block until i came to this idea. it's based on a few of my fav Luke and Lorelai moments from Gilmore Girls combined into this one fic. i hope you enjoy! as usual, feedback is very much appreciated and my requests are open. (you don't need to watch Gilmore Girls to understand it)

warning(s): fluff, teen pregnancy, absent father, pining.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee,” you repeated, your chest pressed against the counter, an evil smile on your face. He turned to face you and placed his hands on the counter, the chanting stopped. You purse your lips trying to contain your smile.

“You know it ruins your body, slowly corrodes your insides, and makes you die really really young, right?” he says squinting at you as he makes hand gestures.

“That’s the intention,” you say smiling up at him showing your teeth. You both stayed like that for a few seconds until he turned around, grabbed a mug, and the kettle from the coffee machine. Still squinting at you, he poured the coffee in the mug and slid it over the counter to you.

“I really hope it’s soon,” he grumbles, throwing the kitchen towel on his shoulders, and walks (or stomps) back to the kitchen. You sat there, coffee in your hands, smiling as you took a sip.

The door rings open and you hear a familiar voice. “Did you get one for me?” you turned in your bar stool to look at the figure that walked up to you. The beautiful girl who you delightfully brought into the world almost 16 years ago, Leah.

You shook your head, fake-pouting. A grumble came from the teen, something you could very much relate to; caffeine deficiency. “I tried, I tried but Bucky’s in his element this morning,” you shrugged your shoulders, stretching to the left to see if he was still in the kitchen.

“I’m gonna get one myself. He likes me,” she turned to face the kitchen, chanting his name as you did earlier. You hear them arguing as you enjoyed the drink in your hand. It was white noise to you — the arguing, especially in Bucky’s diner. With him being the crabby man you’ve always known him to be, it was basically daily routine.

“You were right, he is grumpy this morning,” she said when he walked away again, this time to the back. “Wonder what happened,” she said, shrugging as she took a sip of her coffee.

People in the town have always talked about how similar you both were; you and Leah. Sometimes it did feel like you were looking in the mirror and reliving your teen years as she told you stories about her day and it would scare the fuck out of you.

“Hey, so birthday planning. Let’s go,” she patted your forearm, waking you from your thoughts, excited to turn 16. You sat up and giggled, feeling excitement running up your spine.

“Okay, so we’re gonna have it at home this year,” she nods. “After last year’s event, I vowed to never again go to a Ms. Patty party,” you both shudder, remembering the massive drunken embarrassment you had to go through at your 15-year-old’s birthday party. “Before that, we’re going somewhere special, a surprise if you may. Then we’re going shopping, which thank god your birthday is the end of the month. Cause how could we have lux on your birthday without a paycheck. We’ve got a date with your dad, says he wants to finally actually give you your gift in person this year? And a massive birthday cake with your face on it by the one and only Sookie, as per tradition,” you yap, fast-paced.

“Wait, we’re meeting dad?” she asks, cutting you off. You nodded fast, feeling the caffeine kick in. She smiled, looking down at her mug. And that’s when you felt beat up. When it came to Christopher, it always put a smile on her face. Maybe they were right. You were alike. So easily manipulated by the one man in both of your lives, who is only always there when time and circumstances met his convenience. Something naivete and youth made Leah fail to realize.

“Okay, kiddo. We’ll discuss birthday matters this evening, it’s almost 8,” you picked up her bag, gravity pulling your hand down soon after. “Woah, wormie, what are you carrying? Bricks?” you teased.

“You never know how much reading I can get done with all the waiting we do in school,” she whined after downing her coffee. She kissed your cheek and left the diner.

“God, that kid is something special,” you hear Bucky say as you both watched her walk to the school right opposite the diner. You turned around looking down at your mug, Bucky noticing a frown on your face. “What’s wrong?” he asks, bending down to look at your face.

You looked up, smiling a little. “It’s Leah’s dad,” you scrunched your nose. You never talked about Chris with anyone in the town except with Sookie and Bucky, the name and subject a sensitive topic to you. Never saying his name as if terrified some sort of evil would be summoned. Your relationship with him was beyond complex. You were best friends before anything, you-me-against-the-world (or against parents and the rich community you were brought up in), you knew him like the back of your hand. You still see him as such but since you found out you were pregnant, it all took a different turn and it wasn’t something you felt was right for either of you.

“He called again,” Bucky’s voice annoyed, rolling his eyes. He’d met him once and it was the most awkward, testosterone-filled conversation you’d ever witness. You snickered, knowing how he, as much as you, despised talking about him. “Hey,” he touches your forearm with his leather-gloved forefinger. You looked up at him. “If anything, you come to me,” you half-smiled.

Everyone in this small town knew about the mother-daughter dynamic you and Leah had. Hearing how she turned out great with just you raising her was something you heard very often, something you wished you felt through every fiber of your being. But you didn’t. And Bucky knew you struggled with that, trying his best to remind you every time you doubted. More often than not, she reminded you a lot more of Bucky than Chris, since she grew up knowing Bucky more than her dad.

“Thanks, old man,” you said, snickering behind your mug. He backed away from the counter, his grumpy face showing again. His eyebrows furrowed and his cheekbones prominent. He hated it when you called him that. He may be over a hundred years old but technically he was your age, he would remind you. “There he is!” you cheered, laughing at his frowned face.

“You have a problem,” Bucky said, taking the mug from your hand, and you slid the bill across the table. Still maintaining your gazes, seeing a small smile starting to form on his lips.

You were known by the whole town to be completely oblivious, seemingly being the only one who doesn’t know how Bucky has been pining for you for years. Even from Mars, the love he held for you in his heart could be seen. He tried several times to ask you out on a date, getting closer and closer each time he would try but something always had to happen right at the time he wanted to spit the words out of his mouth. A coward, as Sam, another regular at the diner, would call him when he realized he'd been staring at her.

You did, however, think about dating him once after having a moment with him in the diner. It was late, and you wanted coffee after a bad date. Nearly kissing until Kirk came into the diner to get his emergency late-night burger. You brought it to Leah’s attention, but to that she immediately declined, saying it might ruin the best coffee in town for the both of you.

Saturday rolled around; Leah’s birthday. You woke her up at 3 a.m., another annual essential where you would tell her the infamous story of the day she was born.

“What do you think of your life thus far, my dear?” you brushed her hair as your lied down next to her.

“I think it’s great,” she yawned.

“Any complaints?” you asked, and she shook her head. “I think you’re a great cool kid and the best friend a girl could have,” you said to her lovingly.

“Back at ya,” she answered.

“And it’s so hard to believe that many moons ago I was lying in exactly this same position,” you looked up at the ceiling, flashbacks playing in your head.

“Oh boy, here we go,” Leah said. You shushed her and continued the story.

When you walked into the diner, you were greeted by Bucky at the front door. You frowned at him, being too close to you, your hands hovered over his chest. He opened an arm to gesture you to a table by the window on your right. When you looked, your jaw dropped. He decorated the table. He laid a beautiful lace tablecloth, with a vase filled with flowers in the middle and balloons next to one of the chairs and Leah’s favorite; a rainbow cake, with a lot of frosting.

“Bucky, what is this? This isn’t you. And flowers?” you looked at him, eyes in disbelief. He shrugged. “This is amazing,” you touched the table cloth, mouth agape. “Thank you, Bucky,” you hugged him, his face red to which you were too busy to see.

He walked away, knowing your order before you could tell him. The Y/N Special he printed in the new menu. Leah came into the diner, you sat up and smiled as you waited for her reaction. “What is all this?” her jaw dropped as well.

“It’s all Bucky,” you shook your head, as she caressed the lace tablecloth. “Where he got this tablecloth? No idea!” you leaned in, whispering loudly.

“Bucky, you big ole softy,” she said to Bucky who came with your regular. He blushed when she gave him a hug, quiet as he walked back behind the counter. Your eyes followed him, still surprised by his adorable gesture.

“Hey, remember what I said about dating Bucky?” you asked her, still looking at Bucky who was taking orders. She hummed as she gobbled down her food. “Do you think it’ll work out if we did?” you asked again.

“Honestly, I think it will,” she said, cheeks stuffed with food. “Especially after this,” she gestured to the decorations. “But yeah, I do,” she said after swallowing her food, following your gaze to look at him.

It was the first time she’d ever okayed a man in your life other than Chris. You both loved Bucky especially after what he’s been through. The grumpy demeanor he displays justified.

Lane, Leah’s best friend walked into the diner, squealing as she hugged and wished her. You stood up with your order and walked to the counter to allow them to chat.

“Hey, Buck,” you said, seeing him clean his toaster. He hummed, his back still facing you. “With your expertise displayed on the very lovely table there, could you help Sookie out with decorating my place while Leah and I frolic about town?” you asked, chewing on your waffles.

“Yeah, sure anything for my best customers,” he said as he grunted, fixing the toaster.

“Why don’t you use your tools?” you asked, pointing at the toaster with your knife. Stopping what he did, he turned to shoot a glare at you.

“My toolbox is sitting in your lovely home collecting dust because you could not and will not bother to give it back to me,” he complained. You snickered knowingly since you purposely brought up his toolbox.

“Well, it’s the only thing in the house that warns burglars that there could possibly be a man in the house,” you said melodramatically as you enjoyed your food. He grabbed the knife and fork out of your hand, your hands up in the air and mouth open. You placed your hands on your lap and sighed.

“Fine, you can have John back,” you said. His eyebrows crossed in confusion and frustration. You had a track record of being stubborn and playful. Something everyone who knew you grew to normalise.

“Not every non-living thing needs to have a name,” he said, putting the utensils back on your plate.

“Yes they do. I could tell visitors that John is in the living room sitting on the floor,” and you continued to yap Bucky’s ears off until you left to bring Leah on her birthday adventure. Reminding him that you left the decorations by the couch at home and he could use the key hidden under the turtle statue.

It was almost 1 a.m., Bucky heard a loud voice from outside, he dragged his feet to the window and opened it, sticking half his body out. Flinching when he saw a stone coming in his direction. “What the hell are you doing?” he shouted at you in your pjs, holding a pillow under your arm. He was wearing short-sleeved t-shirt, something you barely saw him wear.

“I’m homeless! I’ve got nowhere to go,” you shouted back. You heard a window open at the next building and turned to face it. An old man appeared out of the window.

“Hey, would you shut up? It’s late!” the old man with his thick Boston accent shouted at you. You looked at him and then at Bucky then back at him and burst out laughing. “Would you please get her the hell outta here?” the man said to Bucky and went back inside. He went down to get you, groaning as he walked down finding you, still in a fit of laughter.

“The resemblance? Uncanny!” you said, still laughing as he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the diner.

You helped Bucky set up the mattress after looking around his apartment and teasing him for things he owned. Being friends with him for years, you’d never been in his “home” above the diner before.

“What made you homeless tonight?” Bucky asks as you fixed the bedsheet together.

“Everyone else passed out drunk, even Chris,” you said. Shocked that you brought up his name, he fiddled with his fingers as he sat by his dining table. “I’m still kinda drunk. That name slipped out of my mouth,” you said, laughing nervously, sitting next to him.

“What did he do this time?” he asked looking up from his hands.

“Surprisingly, he was nice. He was a dad for once but he hasn’t left so we’ll see what happens,” you sighed. Bucky knew the reason for your uncertainty with raising Leah was because of Chris. The seed of doubt sprouted after years of Chris reminding you that you couldn’t do it alone which made Bucky’s blood boil.

“At least she’s not pregnant yet,” you said, running your hands against the wooden dining table.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” he said. “You were 16?” he asked.

“15 and a half,” you pointed out. “Ruined my 16th birthday, my mother said. What a disappointment it must have been for my parents to have me,” you looked at him.

“Can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment,” he shook his head and you sighed.

“You know, Buck. Seeing what you do for Leah, I bet you’ll make a great dad one day,” you mention, examining his face. His eyes looked sleepy.

“You make a great mom. This whole town can vouch for that fact. For how young you were when you had her, 15 and a half? Every parent makes mistakes but you make the mistakes seem like fun,” you chuckled. “You were never alone in raising her. The town has played a part in raising her with you much more than Chris ever did so I don’t know what the fuck he’s talkin' about,” he says, a lump formed in your throat.

“Yeah, it’s just the daughter part I, uh, I don’t have down yet,” Bucky exhaled through his nose. You thought about a recent fight you had with Leah about the boy she’d been dating. Something you brought up as a problem because you were terrified of possible outcomes. But you knew he was a great boy, Dean. Sweet, charming and a gentleman.

“You looked great tonight,” you placed your hand on his, you felt the cold metal against your skin. You’d never really seen his metal arm, always hidden under the sleeve of his leather jacket and gloves. His signature look, even in the summer. You stroked his metal hand and even though he couldn’t physically feel your touch, he felt goosebumps form on his skin. Physical touch was never a part of your friendship.

He smirked, raising his brow and tilting his head making you roll your eyes. “I don’t mean you don’t look great all the time, you do, and,” you groaned. “Don’t be cocky now,” you clicked your tongue, laughing, still smirking at you.

“You looked great too,” his voice cracked, coughing to clear his throat. “y/n,” he called your name, his voice lower and deeper.

“Yeah?” you whispered. His eyes softer than you were used to, finally seeing his blue eyes.

“Would you want to go on a date with me sometime?” he asked, eyes looking at your lips then back to your eyes. He felt his palm get sweaty, heart thumped loudly in his chest he swore you could hear it. He’d always have the words play in his head but he never thought the moment would ever come.

You felt your cheeks burn, you never thought he’d ever ask you. He studied your face to predict what you were gonna say, cringing a little expecting a bad answer or a laugh.

“I would love to, Buck,” you bit your bottom lip. He let out the breath he held, smiling as he shifted in his seat. After years of pining, he finally got to take his favorite girl on a date.

Finger painting with baby for TodoMomo??

YA COMING FOR ME WITH SOFT PROMPTS!!!!!! Please accept this humble ball of pure sugary fluff! Also there’s some reference to Huwumi because I have no self control so I hope you don’t mind!

Coordinating schedules was always a strenuous task but well worth it, as far as Shoto was concerned. When he first agreed to begin the takeover of the Endeavor agency nearly four years ago, he had expected his father to be a merciless slave driver about it. And for the first two years, he kind of was; it was all long hours and strict orders and tedious paperwork. Then, when Momo announced she was pregnant with their child, Enji changed a bit. He was more flexible with Shoto’s schedule, more lenient about him coming and going to accommodate for doctor’s appointments and home preparations.

And then, on June 7th, little Anzu came into the world.

And when Shoto decided to take a full three months off of work after Anzu’s birth to help take care of her, Enji hadn’t said a word against it either. It was strange, but he was grateful. Being a parent was something that Shoto had wanted desperately, but had been nervous about as well. He didn’t have the best example growing up but he was dedicated to the idea of giving his own children what he didn’t have. Once the three months were up, Momo spent another six on maternity before they had the discussion of how to proceed. Neither of them liked the idea of having to leave her with nannies or at a daycare for an excessive amount of time. Momo herself decided that she’d work half shifts while Shoto would boost his own hours a bit, taking the other half of her patrols as well as resuming his training under Enji for the official switch over. And so it became a game of shuffling schedules around to assure that, in the brief and occasional lap over where they were both at work, she was with someone else in the family. Fuyumi tended to be the one most often helping them out, as she and Keigo had four kids of their own and knew what to expect.

Plus, watching Fuyumi’s kids dote on the newborn when he dropped her off or picked her up was always a delight.

That was how things were still proceeding in the current time, with Anzu’s 2nd birthday having just recently passed. Shoto himself was basically running the Endeavor agency on his own at this point, with the official announcement planned in six weeks time. He kicked off his shoes as he walked in the door, feeling exhausted. A part of him wondered if it would be rude to take a nap before dinner but the thought was cast aside at the pattering of tiny feet tearing down the hall. He felt a small smile twist up on his lips at the excited gasp of “Dada!” he heard at the end of the hallway.

He lifted his head to be met with a bright grey eyes and a huge grin. “Hey there, Anzu. Where’s your Mama?” he asked, sliding on his slippers and moving over to her. It was then he noticed a yellow splotch on her forehead. “Hmm? What’s this?” He reached out to touch her forehead, but instead she grabbed his hand and started leading him down the hallway. He noticed other little pepperings of color along her hands as well.

“Mama here! Play!” she said happily. He chuckled before reaching down and picking her up, settling her on his hip with one arm and heading for her playroom. It was then he noticed the slightly thicker apron-esque item she was sporting over the little romper he’d dressed her in that morning. Still curious about the mark on her forehead, he carefully adjusted his grip on her to reach up with his other hand. He carefully rubbed at the yellow splotch toting the line by her hairline, blinking when it came back wet and smeared on himself.

“Is this paint?” he mumbled incredulously as he stepped through the doorway of the little playroom they’d prepared for her.

“She wanted to paint a picture for you,” Momo giggled from her spot, kneeling on the ground beside Anzu’s little easel, what he now realized was a painter’s smock draped over her as well. The little tot in question squirmed until he set her down and she tore over to the little table in the corner.

When she returned, she excitedly presented a piece of paper almost as tall as her and covered in various squiggles and shapes in a plethora of colors. “I make for Dada!” she said.

He blinked before smiling and reaching out to take it, looking over the page. It looked like it was recently dried and the paper crinkled a bit but he felt his heart swell. “Aw, thank you, baby girl,” he breathed softly. His eyes swept over the depicted scene, using color association and inference to determine what, exactly, she’d drawn. “This is a lovely picture of when we went to the park last week.”

Anzu’s eyes lit up in delight and she giggled excitedly, nodding her head eagerly. She said something else in response but it was far too garbled for him to parse out exactly, despite usually being rather skilled with toddlerese. She darted over to the little shelf of supplies, shifting through one of the shelves, while he shifted to join his wife on the ground. “You were able to tell what that was?” she asked with an impressed puff of laughter.

“Well, she’s got a pretty good form for most of the details,” He pointed towards an almost-oval shape in yellow with a pink line through part of it. “Right here is the dog that the nice elderly owner let her pet while we were there. It’s collar was pink.”

“... I honestly thought that was the little swaying horse toy,” she mumbled thoughtfully. They both perked up as Anzu returned with a fresh sheet of paper. “Here, hun. Let me get this in place for you.”

“I don’t remember her having paintbrushes to work with, though,” he realized, glancing at the little tray of the easel. Instead, there was just the assorted jars of colored paint, all the lids hanging via magnets in front of their respective color.

“That’s because she’s been finger-painting,” Momo hummed. When he answered her with a blank look she cocked her head. “You’ve… really never finger-painted before, Shoto?”

He shook his head. While his younger years had a few happier memories of toys and games with his mother, Enji had always been very strict about games or toys that made too much of a mess. Painting - or any arts and crafts, really - fell under that bracket. Suddenly there was a weight on his thighs and two chubby little hands turning his head to face their daughter, a pout clear on her face. “Oh no, Dada. Oh no,” she said, shaking her head as she spoke.

He chuckled a bit at the amount of sheer sass before swooping one arm around her waist as he moved closer to the easel. “Well, since Dada’s never done this before, you can teach me. We can make a picture together,” he suggested, maneuvering her to sit in his lap instead of stand.

She squealed excitedly at that and nodded, nearly knocking him in the chin in her enthusiasm. “Oh, let me get you a smock to work with first,” Momo hummed, carefully pushing off the floor to scamper off to the supply drawer again.

He watched her go before looking down at Anzu again, who was bouncing with giddiness in her lap. “So what do you think we should paint together?” he asked.

“Family!” she squeaked.

“Our family? You, me and Mama?”

“With everybody!” she proclaimed, stretching her arms out wide and slumping back against his chest to look up at him. "With Gamas and Gampas and Aunties and Uncles and cousins!" He smiled and gently reached up to push some of her hair out of her face. She smiled up at him and nuzzled into his hand when he brought it back down to playfully pinch her cheek.

He perked up as Momo returned, a smock tucked into one arm. He made quick work of slipping it on before turning his full attention back to his little girl. “Okay, where should we start?” he prompted.

From there, it devolved into a fun little game of her dipping his fingers into the different colors and dragging them along the page, more using him like a puppet to help create her masterpiece. He couldn’t help but go with the flow of it, though, as her tiny fingers pinched at his wrist to move it this way or that. At one point, he sneezed and ended up with a smearing of red paint along his left cheek. The two ladies got a kick out of that. After sketching in Rei and Enji, Anzu dragged Momo into the work as well, repeating her process all over.

It made Shoto’s heart skip a beat, watching Momo try to modestly hide her giggles while Anzu moved a green-coated finger along the page, little brow knit and tongue poking out in determination. It was strange to think this little whirlwind of a child was theirs, but he wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

He dipped his pinkie into the pink paint and, when she turned back to him, gently pressed it to the little tot’s right cheek. “Boop,” he mused as he brought his finger up in an arch and then back around to connect it. There, standing out on her cheek, was a little heart. She couldn’t see what he’d drawn and assumed he was starting a paint fight. Momo let out a small squeak of protest as Anzu dipped a hand into the purple jar and peppered little pats of her fingers along Shoto’s cheeks and jaw. And then she squealed when she lunged for her mother next, other hand covered in light blue, and etched a crude star on her forehead.

Pictures of the trio coated in various pastel paint spots were uploaded to Twitter and Instagram, suspiciously winding up on both he and Momo’s official Hero pages.

He framed both the picture of them, covered in paint, as well as the family picture they all painted together. And he hung them in his office on his first day as the official owner and operator of the Endeavor agency.

All We’ve Got is Time - Chapter Six | B.B.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

AU: If They’d Survived/Post-War/Window Washer!Bucky Barnes

Rating: All Audiences

Word count: 2,901

Chapter 6/24

Warnings: Can second-hand embarrassment be a warning???

AN: This chapter was one of the first scenes I thought up when this idea was born. It was so much fun to write.

As a heads up, I won’t be posting a new chapter next week. I am going to be insanely busy -  as in, leaving the house at 6AM and running around like crazy until 11PM kind of week. Between my grandpa slowly deteriorating and my niece being born within the next 10 days, I’ve got too much going on to give posting the care and attention I want to. Chapter 7 will be posted on June 6. Thanks for sticking with me 💕

Chapter Five

‘All We’ve Got is Time’ Masterlist

The below adorable image was found in this super interesting article!

“Well hey there you smitten kitten,” the sweet, curly-haired Dorothy purrs.

You scrunch your nose at the name, moving to take a seat at a table in the breakroom. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means.”

“Now tell us Suzy is full of it and you haven’t seen this boy five times since Saturday,” Connie scoffs before sipping her glass-bottled Coca Cola.

Your unamused gaze turns to Suzy who says, “Sorry!” in a very not-sorry voice. “You’ve been coy all week about it, we are equally invested in this relationship. They deserve to know.”

“Excuse me, you’ve been on how many dates in the last week with this boy?” Charity squawks, taking her lunch out of the fridge.

“It’s actually been less than a week.”

“Suzy, how is that helpful?” you say through an exasperated sigh.

“Five out of the last six nights is what you said, right? Sounds pretty serious.”

“To quote her roommate: ‘He must be something special since this is the most she’s been out of the apartment since move-in day’.” You were going to kill Suzy.

You grind out, “I’m not introducing you to any of my other friends if you’re going to use them against me.”

“If I remember correctly, you claimed you didn’t have any other-” The ringing of a telephone interrupts her. “Damn it, that’s mine.” She scoots out of the kitchen and you can hear her pick up the receiver. You zone out of the other womens’ discussion for a moment to hear Suzy say, “Who is this? Oh, hiiiii. How did you- Uh-huh.”

Tall, dark, and gorgeous Frances brings you back to the topic at hand. “Newbie, you need to give us the scuttlebutt.”

“Uh, I mean. . . I’ve been having a really nice time with him.”

“Get out of here with that dodginess. Come on, give us poor single girls something to hang onto.”

“Honestly, we’ve just been getting to know each other. We’ve had good conversations over dinner, walked around the park, perused some art galleries. It’s. . . been lovely. He’s a sweetheart.”

A chorus of “awwww!”s fills the room.

“You know we’re going to ask you a million questions, may as well give us as many details as you can now.”

Resigned to your fate you lean back in your chair, mentally searching for harmless information. “Umm. . . he’s from Brooklyn. He served with the army, was in Europe for the last few years. Has sisters, both parents still alive. Was a good student and an athlete. From how much he talks about his friends, he’s extremely loyal. But that’s really all I’ve got.”

“Sounds like a real dreamboat.”

“Did he give ya a smooch yet?” Connie asks around a mouthful of sandwich.

“Connie.” You know your flat tone won’t do a thing to discourage her.

“That’s a no.” She continues in a sing-song voice, “Which means it’s co-ming!”

“He hasn’t been affectionate at all?” Alice, the tiny shy one pipes up.

“He kissed my hand after our first date and I’ve gotten a few pecks on the cheek when he drops me back home. Usually when we walk and cross streets he holds my hand, or at least offers his arm.”

“A gentleman. That must be nice,” Millie, the baby of the bunch at 19, snorts.

“Do you not want to kiss him?” Connie, ever the one to get straight down to business.

You look down, can feel your heart beating fast. “I-I, uh. I. . . of course I want to kiss him.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“There’s not a problem. You’ve all seen him, you know he’s handsome. The moment just hasn’t arrived yet. I don’t want to force it and get nervous or weird.”

“You’re making me blush, Sixth Floor,” a smooth, deep voice brings the lunch-time chatter to a halt.

You turn so fast in your chair you think you may have given yourself whiplash.

The subject of your conversation is in the threshold of the breakroom, one shoulder propped against the door jam, hands full of a stunning bouquet of your favorite flowers. Suzy peers over his shoulder, ruby-red lips curled in a satisfied smirk.

You leap to your feet, smoothing down your skirt and patting your hair. “Buc-Hi!,” you say, your tone slightly shrill with embarrassment. “W-what are you doing here?!” Your face drops, thinking back to Flannery’s two warnings about male visitors in the office. “You’re not supposed to be here,” you whisper-shout - as if the office manager would pop out from behind the sofa and catch you.

“Relax, Newbie. Flannery’s out at that executives lunch, remember?” Suzy steps even with Bucky, sharing a mischievous glance. “He wanted to surprise you so he enlisted the sneakiest dame to smuggle him in.”

“And I’ll forever be in your debt, ma’am,” Bucky banters, a cheeky grin in place.

Suzy eyes him up and down, then turns to look at you. “I like this one.” The room of women collapses into giggles at her brazenness.

“Watch yourself, Suze,” you playfully warn as you approach Bucky.

“For you, ma’am,” he offers the bouquet.

Breathing in the blooms you whisper, “You remembered.”

“‘Course I did,” he whispers back. “I called Suzy from the drug store across the street to see if the coast was clear. I wouldn’t just barge in with Mrs. Flannery on duty, I promise.”

“Well, are you going to introduce us to this delightful fella or not?” Dorothy titters.

You turn back to the room, flowers in one hand while the other sneaks into the crook of Bucky’s elbow. “Apparently you’ve met Suzy. But here we’ve got Charity, Frances, Alice, Millie, Dorothy, and Connie.” Each girl greets him in their own way, some smiling, some waving. Connie just stares at him.

“Ladies, this is Bucky.”

Connie lets out a small gasp. “Wait. Bucky Barnes?”

“Uh. . . yeah?” You’re slightly unnerved. Do they know each other?

“The Bucky Barnes?! Of the Howling Commandos?!” She’s on her feet, eyes wide.

You can feel Bucky stiffen beneath your hand before he shuffles his feet.

“Yes ma’am,” he replies lowly, directing his gaze to a fixed point on the floor.

Connie practically shrieks while several other girls’ eyebrows are raised, obviously affected by her words.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh-“

“Connie, what are you going on about?” A wave of protectiveness washes over you, hand tightening on his arm.

“You have been going on dates with Bucky freakin’ Barnes and you haven’t known?!”

“Known what?”

“The Howling Commandos! Captain America!” She gestures wildly at your indifference. “Have you been living under a rock the last few years?”

“No, I’ve been living in a factory the last few years. We didn’t exactly sit around discussing the paper,” you can’t help the bite to your words, not enjoying her tone or Bucky’s unease.

He clears his throat. “My last few years of service, I was in a special operations unit.”

“With Captain America!” Connie exclaims, practically jumping up and down. “He’s, like, his childhood best friend!”

The girls go into a frenzy, talking over each other to ask questions or give compliments. Unsurprisingly, Connie’s voice silences everyone else’s.

“So. Is he single? Because he’s so cute, I really think we’d get along - I’m very patriotic and I-“

“I’m sorry, ma’am. He’s, uh- spoken for.”

“It’s the girl from the compass, isn’t it? I thought that’d be over by now. What if-“

Bucky interrupts her prattling. “Trust me - Connie, right? - that’s a bear you don’t wanna poke. It’s solid.”

“Oh.”

You had never seen Constance Adler deflate, but you’re pretty sure that’s what was happening now. She almost looks like a kicked puppy and normally you’d feel bad for her - if she hadn’t dropped a metaphorical bombshell on you.

“Bucky,” Suzy steps in, laying a hand on your shoulder, “We appreciate all you’ve done the last few years. Newbie, why don’t you show him your desk and find a vase for those flowers, yeah?”

You nod and tug Bucky out of the break room. Several steps down the hall you hear Suzy speaking in a hushed, stern tone she usually reserved for belligerent businessmen. Minutes ago, you wanted to strangle her for prodding you. But she was respectful of boundaries and definitely felt that one had been crossed. Now all you wanted was to wrap her in a hug of gratitude.

Your brain finally catches up to the new information you’ve just been given. Suddenly, Bucky made a lot more sense to you. Special operations meant specially horrible circumstances. Knowing now that he’d seen combat as well brought his struggles into sharp relief for you. And he had to handle everything in more of a public light than the average soldier.

“I’m sorry about that, Bucky. Connie can be . . . a lot.”

He shakes his head, rolls his shoulders. “Aw, it’s nothing. I’ve met worse.” His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes and your heart stings for him. “I was going to tell you soon, I swear. That’s not how I wanted you to find out.”

“You don’t owe me a thing. We can talk about it later.” You reach your desk and empty a glass that held your pens and pencils, swapping them out for the flowers. “These really are gorgeous. You didn’t have to do this.”

He nods, shoving his hand into his pockets. “I know. But I wanted to. Hoped they’d brighten your desk.”

“Thank you, Bucky. This was. . . incredibly sweet of you,” you murmur, even though you’re the only two in the bullpen.

Finally, his smile seems genuine. “You’re welcome.” He takes a moment to survey the office, coming to perch against your desk. “I’ve gotta admit, it’s strange being on this side of the glass.”

“It’s strange having you on this side of the glass. Not that I mind,” you add quickly, terrified of saying the wrong thing. A beat passes, Bucky staring at the floor, you staring at the flowers.

With the barest hint of amusement Bucky finally speaks up. “So, you think I’m handsome, huh?”

Bringing your hands to cover your eyes you let out a groan, prompting a manly chuckle. “God, that’s embarrassing.”

“Nah, I’m flattered really. It’s not every day a fella like me hears that from the prettiest girl in the room.”

“Okay, calm down, sweet talker,” you playfully nudge an elbow into his shoulder. “Ya know. . . you could’ve at least told me your best friend was Captain America,” you tease.

He tosses his head back in mock disgust, jarring a strand of hair loose. “To be fair, I did mention him on our first date. Several times, in fact.”

“Because I was definitely supposed to make the connection between your scrawny friend who was gravely ill his entire life and America’s Hope.”

“I’m disappointed, frankly. Seems like a pretty easy jump to me, ma’am.”

“How could I ever make it up to you, sir?”

“There is something I had in mind. . .” He leans in close. “Dinner tomorrow night?”

“I’m gonna have to check my calendar, Barnes,” you sigh, nose inches away from his. Those blue eyes search your own before they flit to your lips for a split second.

The moment is ruined when Suzy barrels into the room.

“Red alert, red alert! Flannery’s coming!”

“WHAT!” You shout, jumping away from Bucky. “She’s not supposed to be back for another 20 minutes!”

“Well evidently she didn’t enjoy herself because I saw her out the window of the breakroom. If Flannery finds out he’s here, she’s gonna bust your chops.”

The sound of grinding gears from the elevator shaft drives the point home. You look between Suzy and Bucky, frozen in your spot, mouth agape.

“I’m sorry, this was a bad idea-” Bucky starts.

“No time, hide! GIRLS OUT HERE!” Suzy immediately takes control. A stampede arrives from the breakroom in response to Suzy’s urgent tone. “Flannery is on her way up. We need to get him out of this office without her seeing him. Run interference, hide him behind you, I don’t care - under no circumstances can he be caught, capiche?”

A chorus of ‘capiche’ answers her.

“You,” she points in your direction, “stay at your desk so she doesn’t suspect you.”

Ding.

The elevator doors sweep open before anyone can elaborate on the plan. Out the corner of your eye you see Bucky vault over your desk to remain unseen. Instantaneously a few typists congregate around you, the rest act as subtle “checkpoints” in a trail toward the stairs.

Suzy approaches Flannery, who stands ominously at the front of the office, suspicion wrinkling her forehead. “Flanny, you’re back!”

“Susan-”

“Aw, you know I hate my full name. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Suzy?” Your friend stands directly in front of her, blocking the view to your desk.

You lean down, catching Bucky’s eye. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, doll,” he winks up at you, then turns to crouch-crawl to the next desk.

“I assume as many times as I have to tell you never to call me ‘Flanny’,” you hear the office manager practically growl.

“Of course, yes ma’am. Lunch go good?” Alice and Dorothy converge to talk over a file to cover Bucky’s journey to the next desk.

“Lunch went well, yes.”

Dorothy waves Frances over, evidently needing her opinion on the wording of a letter. Sheltered behind their skirts they walk Bucky to Millie’s desk which happens to sit adjacent to an enormous filing cabinet. Your window washer ducks behind it, allowing the typists to shift around - doing their best to avoid moving like a herd.

“So why the rush back?” Suzy follows Flannery to the front desk, watching Bucky’s progress surreptitiously.

“I can only handle so much male arrogance in one sitting.”

“Oh, I hear that. Say, I think that mold may be back in the breakroom, I swear I saw a spot of something.” Suzy raises her voice, “Wanna come with me to check it out?”

Flannery sighs deeply, tucking her handbag into a desk drawer. “I suppose.”

This was it. Suzy continues jabbering at Flannery, walking side by side with her. She jerks her head toward the stairwell door and Frances whispers to Bucky, “Go, go, go!”

He’s on his feet but still bent at the waist, booking it to the door.

“Wait,” Flannery turns on her heel back toward the front. Everyone sucks a breath in, thinking Bucky’s been sighted. At the syllable he had dropped to his knees and slid across the floor - landing with his back flat against the front side of Flannery’s desk. Eyes wide, you watch Flannery stride to the desk, reaching beneath it to pull out a glass bottle. “The janitors gave me a chemical mixture they used on it last time.” She was mere inches from Bucky - if she had the super-sonar hearing everyone accused her of she would definitely have heard his heart beating out of his chest.

With the bottle in hand she takes a few steps back into the bullpen before taking stock of everyone’s tension. “What’s going on?” she asks. On his tiptoes Bucky creeps to the stairwell door. Just a few more steps and we’re home-free, you try to calm yourself. Flannery makes to turn back to the front; at that point everyone was certain your job was done-for. At the last moment Connie lets out a deafening screech.

All eyes are on her, including Flannery. Then she screams, “RAT!” Every typist in the room follows suit, insisting they saw it too, hopping up on their chairs or desks.

Bucky reaches the stairwell and with one more wink in your direction, he disappears.

You breathe a deep sigh of relief from your seat atop your desk. You turn to Connie and mouth “Thank you”. She nods in return and says silently, “Sorry”.

“Ladies, ladies! Calm down! It’s just an animal!” Your office manager is absolutely fed up with this day, with these women, with this job. Quiet descends on the bullpen. “What has gotten you all ridiculously hysterical today?” The stairwell door clicks shut, causing Flannery to spin in its direction. She scans the face of every person, looking for someone to break. Much to your satisfaction, everyone is stoic.

It’s in this moment that you find yourself genuinely glad to be in this office with these women. Every one stepped up to save your job, your livelihood. And everyone was excited about this new relationship once they saw how happy you’d been. If your adrenaline hadn’t been pumping wildly you might have had to hold back tears.

But then Flannery is walking up to your desk. She gestures to the flowers Bucky had brought you. “And where did these come from?”

Suzy swoops in. “Her mother called in to have them delivered, isn’t that precious of her?”

“Is today a special occasion?”

“No ma’am, just because,” you shrug, stroking a few petals.

Flannery hums in a tone that says she isn’t entirely convinced. “Alright Susan. Show me where you saw the mold.”

“Right this way, Flanny.”

The pair disappears into the breakroom and every typist slumps and groans.

“That’s all the excitement I need for the next week,” Alice pants, hand to her chest.

Charity throws a smirk in your direction. “Newbie, that boy is trouble in the best kind of way.”

“You’re not wrong, Charity.” You turn to the flower arrangement again. “You’re not wrong.”

Chapter Seven

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but i don’t miss how we were before /SMUT\

Run to Paradise ‘verse // Not Canon

Summary: Lola's tired of Nikki thinking he can get away with anything- which he can, but she's also just getting mad at this as an excuse to ignore her real problems. Until she can't. Until she won't. (ft. declarations of love; possibly canon i haven’t decided.)

A/N: 4575 words. so this is done at @yourqueeniac‘s suggestion and honestly it’s melodramatic and angsty as shit. got the idea/prompt at 3pm and it’s now 3am so this was all written in 12 hours. pacing? i don’t know her. Also smut!! Quite vanilla, though there is a light oral fixation, explicit sex, and vaginal fingering. the smut might be badly written it’s 3am whoops.

{masterlist}

Since they’d decided to officially end whatever it was between them, Lola’s... been at a loss. She loves her boys, of course, is happy for them all finding their own loves, their own partners. She’d known it wasn’t meant to last, quietly she blamed herself - nothing with her ever seemed to last - but she wouldn’t say that out loud. Outwardly she was happy.

If only Nikki could be less of a dick, less of... himself. 

Lola sees Roxy, Tommy’s fiance, coming out of Nikki’s dressing room and it hurts her heart. It hurts because it’s going to hurt Tommy, because it’s going to hurt Tommy and Nikki’s friendship, because-

“Because you get everything!” She actually shouts, traitorous tears pricking her eyes. There’s a silence that follows as Nikki frowns, blinking in confusion, the start of a scowl creasing his brow, “because you get to fuck Tommy’s fiance and you know she’ll go back to him and keep your little secret, and you just take for granted the fact that I’ll be here at your beck-and-fucking-call to be your cockwarmer when you’re done being an asshole to your friends; I’m sick of being a goddamn backup.”

She’d tried confronting him before the gig, in the same dressing room where he’d fucked Roxy before Tommy’s parents had showed up. The words come out of her like she’s not sure where they came from, like she’s been bottling up resentments she couldn’t air before and they all came crashing to the surface. Nikki, to no-one’s surprise, does not take it well.

“Then go,” Nikki snaps, and Lola stands straight up, hand on her chest with surprise, “if you fucking hate me so much just go, I’ll even pay for the flight, and then you can go back to fucking everything in LA; you’re hot, a bitch, and you fucked Motley Crue, you’ll be everyone’s first choice, you’re welcome.” 

“So just like everyone else, I mean nothing to you.” It was as if she’d disconnected, eyes glazed over, lips pressed into a thin line; she wasn’t looking at him, not really, she was looking through him. However, her words actually shocked him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means,” voice strangely calm, she crossed her hands over her chest, cocking her hip; despite how confident the stance usually came across, the way her shoulders sagged and her gaze avoided his, well he’d never really seen her like this before, “that after everything we’ve done, I’m just like every other girl you’ve fucked; I’m just entertainment, right?” She snarled, her cool exterior betrayed by her voice, “Just a one trick pony, a blow up doll who bites back-”

“Shut up.”

“Am I just one of the guys? Am I just Tommy with a cunt? You fucked a few of the girls I was interested in so maybe I am; that seems to be your modus fucking operandi.” Lip curling, she watches the anger build in him, doesn’t even flinch when he tosses a beer bottle at the door. “Maybe I should thank you for never sticking a phone in my pussy and asking me to call my mother - yeah, I know about that too.” 

“So what? So what if you know about the fucked up shit I’ve done? None of it even fucking matters; if I had feelings for you it wouldn’t fucking matter. It’s not gonna change who you are, because you fill that hole burnt into your heart with sex from people who aren’t going to love you and complain all the while about being lonely when you even though you’re the one who let go of-” his mouth snaps shut, and he turns away like he can’t even look at her anymore.

“I want Tommy to be happy,” Lola says, voice barely audible, “and I want Vince to be happy, so I let them go, I had to I didn’t-” she pauses, swallowing thickly, “I want you to be happy too, but the way you are- you’re like me, and I don’t know how to make either of us happy-”

“You just assume everyone’s happier without you. Without even asking.”

“Well what was it Doc said? I’m easy to love but a bitch to actually like.” Lola laughed, but her heart wasn’t in it, the anger, the fight was quickly draining from the room. 

“You complain about being a backup, a second choice, but you’re not. Lola, you’re the only one who hasn’t left in seven fucking years. I don’t know why you decided to stay, and yeah, we’ve put each other through shit, but damn it if you think I don’t like you, you’re delusional. I wouldn’t keep you around if I didn’t like you, not for this long. I love you, Lo.”

Silence follows his words. it’s like they slipped out, like he didn’t mean them to, and Lola drops her gaze when he finally looks back at her. He’s known it for a while, tried to ignore it and push it to the side in favour of countless, nameless, fawning groupies. But she’s there, in the morning when the groupies leave, she’s still there, smiling and laughing, drinking and snorting with the rest of them, and he wraps an arm around her, sees her grin like she did when they were both still kids, and he wants to bottle the feeling that sparks inside his chest so he never forgets it.

“No you don’t; you’re smarter than that.” She said softly, breaking his contemplation like glass, “or you think I’m dumb enough to believe it,” when he hears her sniffle he realises why she can’t meet his gaze, “but don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere, either way, I guess.” She rubbed away the tears that were threatening to spill, and everything Nikki wants to say seems to be trapped in his chest.

And he lets her leave. 

The gig goes by in a blur, in a haze, and the noise of the crowd reverberates around his skull but he can’t hear any of it, can barely hear what he’s playing, barely cares. She’s not side of stage. She’s not back stage. She’s nowhere.

Their conversation, their argument keeps replaying over and over in his mind, and all he knows is that she has to be somewhere, that she’s not going anywhere, but she’s not at the afterparty and he’s anxious like he hasn’t known himself to be before. She’s always just been there and when she’s missing he feels it like a physical ache.

“How- how’d- how did you know that you loved Roxy?” Nikki asks over the music, leaning on the bartop beside Tommy as the taller of the two ordered himself another drink. Tommy’s lips stretch into a grin and he claps Nikki on the back, grinning wide enough to split his face. After a beat, he leaned down and sunk his teeth into Nikki’s forearm.

“That’s for shitting on romance, dude,” Tommy said, matter-of-factly, “so you met someone?” He asked. Nikki made a noise in the back of his throat, rubbing at the fresh bite mark as Tommy took that as his cue to go ahead, “I don’t know man, I just- she’s just great, everything just great, just better when she’s around.” And he’s wearing that soft, dumb grin that he used to wear around Lola all the time, before he’d met Roxy, and something in Nikki’s chest tightened.

“And Lola?”

“What?”

“You loved Lola, didn’t you? We all sort of did, in our own way, us and Vince, right?” As he’s speaking, his gaze drifts, but Nikki can still see the way Tommy’s expression shifts to something knowing; if he wasn’t so emotionally turbulent he’d kick his own ass for looking so weak and desperate in front of Tommy.

“I-” Tommy paused, thanking the bartender as he was handed his drink, before thinking seriously for a moment, “actually, we’re not doing this here.” 

Tommy leads them through the crush of people, smiling and making friendly greetings, but not slowing down until he’d reached the glass doors leading outside. Bursting out into the cool night air, it seems to re-energise the drummer, but it just stings against Nikki’s exposed skin, and Tommy slows down, saunters his way over to the fenced-off pool area as he spoke. 

“You remember that shithole we used to live in?” He asked. There’s less people out here, less crowded, and Nikki can hear him clearly, even from a few feet away which was a contrast to inside. Nikki snorts out a laugh, nodding, “the first night I stayed there, I hadn’t even moved in I was just crashing after a gig at the Whiskey,” he flicks the latch of the pool fence and Nikki follows when he sits on one of the wicker sofas, “and man I don’t remember much about the actual night, but I wake up the next morning next to her, we didn’t fuck or anything, but she tells me I’d complained about how cold it was because you guys didn’t have heating, so she’d... she’d just stayed." Tommy’s sprawled out over the lounge, chair, looking up at the sky, wearing the barest smile. Something in the way he talks about her, the fondness, the soft amusement with the barest tint of nostalgia, it has Nikki fidgeting; every word Tommy speaks hits with an emotion that Nikki can’t describe but can inexplicably feel. He regrets not getting a drink before they came outside.

“She does a lot of that stuff; little stuff, it’s selfless,” Tommy’s still talking, his drink still mostly full, and Nikki snatches it, but the drummer doesn’t seem to mind, “which, you know when I think about it, it’s weird, she’s not someone I’d thought would be selfless but hey, it’s part of her charm, isn’t it? Sneaks up on ya.” He laughs a little, and Nikki watches as he comes down from his memories, from his own little world, “I mean she always probably thought I was some crazy, kid drummer, right?” Nikki did not sign up for how soft and forlorn Tommy had gotten, but part of him was glad. Something about the way he’d said that makes Nikki want to instinctually come to his defense; Lola had adored Tommy from the moment she’d met him, always admired his heart and his talent, but Nikki stays quiet. “She’s great, since day one she’s always been great... kind, you know?Yeah, I loved her, I think that moment back at the old place was when I clued in, but,” and he sounded a little unconvinced, “I’ve got Roxy now.” He paused, finally looking to Nikki with a half smirk, “why’d you ask?”

“Ask what?” Finally snapping out of where he was half listening to the drummer, half focused on finishing his drink, Nikki looks up.

“About Lola, and feelings and shit; it’s not like you.”

“Is that why you lead me out here? To have this sappy damn heart-to-heart?” Nikki asked, after downing the last of the drink, scowling and throwing the whole glass at the pavement, taking little pleasure in the way it shattered, glass and ice scattering everywhere.

“Actually yeah,” Tommy seemed unperturbed by the glass as he just kept giving Nikki an amused look, “plus I needed to hear it properly if it turned out she finally confessed to you; Vince owes me five-hundred-”

“Dude, no, I’m the one who-” he chokes for a moment, can’t even say it out loud, “screwed up.”

“Fuck,” Tommy groaned, throwing his head back against the lounge, before sitting up straight, “wait, what do you mean?”

Nikki’s face twisted into a mask of frustration. The conversation had gone on long enough, he’d acted like enough of a sap, he’d gotten the answer he’d asked for, though he’s pretty sure it’s not the one he wanted. Without giving Tommy an answer, he stands abruptly. Tommy calls after him, even follows, but Nikki loses him in the crowd.

Then he’s alone in the sea of people, a crowd who loves him, who’d give their right arm for him to say hi, and he can barely look at them. He doesn’t know where she is, or even where she could be, but he knows he can’t stay here. For the barest moment he considers getting another drink, but he knows he couldn’t stomach it, not now.

He doesn’t get an answer when he knocks on her hotel room door. He hears the television playing behind it, can hear it get turned up when he announces himself, but no footsteps. 

He considers, again, getting another drink, but his heart’s not in it. He’s still riding the high from before the show, and whatever was in Tommy’s drink, and he figures he can just crash and deal with whatever comes tomorrow.

The leathers he was wearing get tossed into the corner of the room, and for the first time in a long time, he can appreciate how nice his room is, it’s the first time on tour he’s pretty sure, that he hasn’t been absolutely shitfaced before falling asleep. 

Three rooms down is the woman who might very well be one of the biggest mistakes of his life, and he can’t sleep because of it. He doesn’t do attachments, not like this, not in the way that leaves him fucked up, he’s not some hopeless romantic that pines after the one that got away, especially since she’s still very much here.

The stupidest part, he tells himself, is that he should have said something months, years ago at the very least. He’d been feeling shit for her since they’d first moved to LA together, but he’d been too selfish, too in love with the rockstar lifestyle, too easily distracted -

There comes a knock at the door.

In pyjamas, an oversized tour shirt that probably belonged to Tommy, judging by the length of it, and a pair of shorts that were once his, it’s Lola. 

“Where’d you go?” He asks, he’s not sure if it’s meant to come out accusatory or worried, but it’s soft. She walks in past him, despite how he’s taking up most of the doorframe. 

“Had to clear my head.” It’s barely audible, and she’s so prim and proper where she sits herself on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath, Nikki tries not to let his feelings betray him as he moves to lay on the bed, on top of the duvet, looking up at the ceiling.

“What do you want?” He asks, gentle, tired. 

“Seven years,” she starts, legs crossed on the bed, refusing to look at him, “I didn’t-” breath catching in her throat, she sniffles quietly, “it was us against the world, wasn’t it?" Finally, she turns, lips pressed together and tears welling in her eyes. “I’m an idiot; I’m an idiot, I know, but I can’t let go of that, I can’t-” the words catch in her throat, and her whole expression crumples, and she turns away, burying her face in her hands, apologies spilling from her lips.

“Lo,” Nikki’s so quiet as he says her name, sitting up, heart in his throat; for all the time he’s known her, he’s never seen her break down like this. 

“I’m so sorry, this is so stupid,” she’s muttering, between sobs, “I’m so stupid.” Nikki’s never been good at emotions like this, it’s all he can do to gently pet her back. Finally, Lola turns, still with her head bowed, face in her hands.

“Everything’s changing, everyone I love is leaving; Nikki, I can’t lose you too.” 

Body on autopilot, Nikki pulls her into a hug, his lips pressed into her hair. Slowly, she wraps her arms around him too, lets herself be pulled into his lap.

“You won’t,” he tells her.

“That’s what scares me. I’m so bad at this- we’re so bad at this, but I,” and she sniffles again, voice a little hoarse, surprisingly angry, “it’s been so long since I’ve even considered my life without you, because I didn’t have to, you’re just always there, and it’s dumb and stupid and sappy-” getting choked up, she curls in on herself, just a little, taking a deep breath. 

But then she’s looking at him, and he can see the tear tracks shining on her cheeks even with just the starlight shining in through the window. Eyes wide, she looks like she wants to say something, to ask something, but her gaze flicks to Nikki’s lips and she thinks better of it. 

When she kisses him it’s hungry and desperate, her hands in his hair, his arms around her pulling her closer, desperate for the contact, between them. It’s like he knows without speaking what she wants; the proof that this is happening, that this- that he’s- real, and in this moment with her.

“Did-” her words get caught on a gasp as he bites gently at her throat before he sucks a dark hickey into her skin; he doesn’t let up, he wants the mark to show, and she squirms and whimpers, “did you mean it?” She finally gasps out, but he doesn’t look up just moves down to leave another mark closer to her collar. “When you said you loved me?” She clarified, biting her lip hard, bringing her hand to scrub the tear tracks from her cheeks. Nikki’s lips lifted from her skin for a moment. His lips quirked into a smirk as he moved them both, Lola laying back on the bed as Nikki hovered over her.

“You and me against the world, right?”

Lola’s softly concerned expression melted away at that, and she reached up, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. There was relief in her eyes, relief and adoration that set Nikki’s heart beating in a way that he knew he could get addicted to.

“I love you too.” Her voice was a soft murmur, and she brought his lips down to meet hers, her fingers laced through his hair. Then he’s got a hand sliding up beneath her shirt, nails grazing against her stomach, and he delights in the way she shivers, the feeling of her grin against his lips.

It takes only moments for her to be out of her shirt, her nipple in his mouth, and he’s never been great at talking about how he feels but the words tumble easily from Lola’s lips as his hand dips below the waistband of her shorts. 

“I love you,”  It’s elated, breathy, almost as if she hadn’t even realised that the words had slipped out. “Sorry,” she follows with in the next breath, and Nikki can’t help but scowl, biting her nipple a little harder than necessary before he leans back, rests his chin on her chest, “I never-” he doesn’t tease her, not now, just slides his finger into her pussy, curls it inside of her as she speaks; it’s an old game for them, but one that makes Lola smile just a little as she shifts her hips, “I don’t want to scare you off- I know you.”

“I like hearing it,” it’s a moment of surprising honesty, though tonight is full of surprises. He adds a second finger, and Lola lets her eye flutter closed. His fingers keep a steady rhythm, hand cramped awkwardly as his thumb circled her clit. “Go on,” he urged, and she’s quick to comply.

“I love you.” 

As he presses kisses down her chest, along her stomach, he stops only to bite gently or leave softer hickeys before he reaches her shorts. He doesn’t think about how it makes his heart beat against his ribs to hear it from someone who means it, who means something to him; she’s said it a million times, but never like this, not really to him. She’ll say it around others, to Vince or Tommy or even Mick when she’s feeling especially affectionate, but never to Nikki, not really. It’s a line they’d both been too scared to cross.

But then he’s pulling off her shorts and pressing his lips to her pussy, fingers still working inside of her; the way she flutters and clenches on his fingers alone is wearing thin on his self control. He finger fucks her in a steady rhythm as he peppers kisses along the stretch marks on her inner thighs.

“Don’t- don’t tease,” she’s trying to keep still with his free hand holding her hip down, but as he bites at her thigh, she manages to giggle through a moan, and the sound alone is driving him crazy. In a moment, he has one of her legs over his shoulder, his hand nudging her other thigh out of the way, and she moves easily, humming with approval. The last of his self control is spent with his lips on her clit, teeth gently grazing on the bundle of nerves. He’s lost in the moment, in the feeling of her, how slick she is, her hands in his hair as his tongue flicks at her clit while he presses hard against her g-spot, he barely registers how she’s whining his name.

“Please- Nikki, please-” she’s tugging gently on his hair now, trying to bring his head up, “please, I need you- I love you- Nikki, I-” but he crashes his lips to hers, but she kisses soft and desperate, eager to please where she’s grazing her nails along his sides at the waistband of his underwear.

“Of course,” he mutters, bites at her ear, at her jaw, and though she whimpers when he takes his fingers from her, he’s quick to place them into her waiting mouth, licking her own juice from his digits as he sat back, pulling his underwear off with his free hand. She bites his fingers a little with a cheeky smile as she watches him struggling with the his underwear.

“Shut it,” he rolls his eyes good naturedly at her amusement, and she lays back, relaxing, enjoying the view as he takes back his hand and pulls off his underwear, tossing it to the side.

“I never said anything,” Lola counters with, sitting up a little to meet him, hands tugging at the hem of his shirt. Obligingly, he pulls it off, over his head, and almost immediately Lola’s on her knees trailing kisses across his chest as her hand finds his cock. He’s already hard, precum beading at the tip, and her feather light touches are teasing more than they are helping him in any way.

“Don’t tease,” he parrots her own words back at her, laying her back down, though she moves obligingly.

“You sure?” And the way she licks her lips is unholy. It’s so different from where they were not ten minutes ago, but neither are complaining. He kisses those lips, pulling a pillow from beside Lola’s head to put beneath her hips.

“Hey Lo,” and the way he’s grinning, his eyes shining, Lola frowns a little, not sure what she’s expecting him to say, “‘love you.” He murmured in her ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he lined himself up at her entrance, sinking into her in one swift motion. She was already wet enough that it was easy, but the way she gasps, the soft, needy moan that’s pulled from her throat, it’s unlike anything he’s heard from her before. 

She’s... blushing. Actually blushing.

Wearing a smile that’s so fond and soft that it’s impossibly endearing, Nikki doesn’t have to wonder why this time feels different from all the times they’d slept together. She beckons him to her, kisses him as he holds her hip with one hand, bracing himself against the bed.

And then she’s digging her nails into his back, her teeth in his shoulder to quiet where she’s whimpering and begging for him to go harder. Nikki sits up, his cock still deep inside her, and he’s gentle as he lifts her legs her knees pressed up to her chest. The angle, the way his cock hits when he starts to thrust, it has her eyes closing as her mouth hangs open, eliciting involuntary whimpers.

“Oh, please, fuck-” she chokes out, one hand fisting in the sheets the other coming to cover her mouth. His grip on her thighs tightens and she bites her hand hard to cover out a groan that stuttered from her, her pussy slick, clenching around him in the way that means she’s getting close.

“Already?” Nikki snickers, pressing a teasing kiss to her calf as he slows down.

“Almost, almost,” she whimpers, unashamed, hands coming to grasp at his hips, “please-” 

He moves slow, moves gentle, fucks her like she’s made of porcelain, with a thumb rubbing at her clit as he slowly pumps in and out of her. She’s not like this with most people, Nikki knows enough about her sex life to know this, to feel a sense of pride with how she lets herself be soft and unapologetic and needy with him, almost malleable. It’s trust. It’s trust and love. 

He brings her to the edge, but stops just before she can go over; for a moment she grumbles, but then he’s moving them, shifting to lay back and pull her on top of him. Like this, she’s in control, takes a moment to look at him through half lidded, lust clouded eyes. Leaning in, her voice is almost dreamy when she tells him he looks bare, and then her lips are on his neck, slow and teasing as she shifts her hips back and forth almost lazily.

He’s got several dark bruises along his collar and chest before he’s squirming and impatient, seemingly regretting the shift in dynamic, but Lola seems ready to pick up the pace. She shifts her hips, rolls in a rhythm that Nikki finds easy to match, and she’s got her hands braced on his chest. 

With his hands on her hip, his hips meeting hers, it’s got her close, got her arching her back each time it hits, curses and prayers falling from her lips amid her gasps and moans and there there there- and he’s playing with her clit until she comes undone on top of him, her thighs sore from the movement, breathing hard, grinning and flushed, but she only pauses for a moment.

“Come on, Niks,” she grins, still shaking a little, but not giving up, hips still keeping up their pace, and Nikki groans, the feeling of her coming around him bringing him so close. She keeps up her rhythm, reaches back and drags her nails along his thighs like she knows he likes, murmuring encouragement to him before he’s groaning, holding her close, coming deep inside of her. She presses languid kisses against  the column of his throat as he’s breathing hard against her neck. He bites her shoulder gently before kissing it, a thanks, soft and unspoken. 

Lola climbs off of him, heads to the bathroom, brings back a towel and tissues for Nikki to clean himself off with. It’s with a sleepy, spent smile that he does so, tugs at the duvet once he’s done so he can get comfortable. Lola crawls into bed beside him, under the covers.

“You won’t regret this, will you?” She asks, gently, her head resting on his chest.

“I never do.”

“I love you.” She tells him tentatively, though she seems at least a little less worried.

“I love you too, Lola.” He reassures.

Mo Leannan

Pairing: Scotty x Reader

Word Count: 1821

Warnings: just some good ol’ fashioned pining

A/N: This was...part of the christmas prompts...but! It works pretty well as a not Christmas story so, here you go anon!! I”m sorry it took so long!! Also, Mo Leannan is Scotts Gaelic for “my beloved.” 

“I don’t know how you talked me into this,” Scotty muttered, fidgeting with the tie around his neck. He felt like he was in primary school again.

You swatted his hands away, smoothing down the lapels of his jacket. “Because I offered you free dinner for a week and a bottle of Jameson. Now, are you ready?”

“Aye, if we have to.”

“We do, my love,” you said, testing how the words felt on your tongue. Scotty closed his eyes, imagining how those words would sound if you actually meant them.

“Then let’s go, darling.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as if it was the most natural thing in the world. How could he ever tell you that it was? That he’d dreamed about kissing you, about holding you the way he was now? An arm slung low across your back as he led you to the front door of your parents’ house, the knock on the door almost as loud as the beating in his chest.

Your father opened the door, scooping you up in his arms and then stealing Scotty away, no doubt to give him the “dating my daughter” talk. You mouthed the word sorry to him over your shoulder as your mother ushered you into the kitchen to help finish up dinner. She kept you busy with questions about you and Scotty. How you met was easy enough, because you could just tell her the truth. You’d met at Starfleet. He hand picked you out of the new cadets to help him on the Enterprise.

The story of how you got together was more difficult to tell. Every word stuck in your throat, wanting at once to be free and to be true but unable to be both. “It was after a grav plate failure on the Enterprise,” you smiled, setting silverware down on the table. “We finally got them fixed and gravity turned back on, but Scotty and I weren’t harnessed in so we both fell. He helped me up and said, ‘Guess I can’t help fallin’ for ya,” you said with a smile that was genuine enough. It might not be what happened, but it was certainly what you wished had happened.

Your mother put a hand over her heart and tutted. “Oh. So romantic.” Then, she went back to setting the food out.

Dinner felt like an eternity. The combination of the wine in your cup and Scotty’s leg pressed against yours was too much. You were on fire. When Scotty dropped his hand under the table to rest on your thigh, you thought your heart might honestly give out. He played his part so well even you forgot it was fake for a moment.

Scotty couldn’t, though. Every time he looked at you, he felt his heart break a little more. It was stupid, but he wished he could be the hair you tucked behind your ears, just to feel your fingers run against him. Or that he could be the glass in your hand and feel your lips press against him in earnest. You told him he was selfless for doing this for you, but, in truth, it was as much for him as for you. How else would he get to feel your thigh against his hand? Skin warm where the bottom of your dress ended. He brushed it with his thumb and caught your eye, sending you a smile he hoped wasn’t obviously love struck.

You knew there was something wrong. Despite the same wise cracking and luminous smile Scotty always had, there was a sadness in his eyes you couldn't place. You rushed through dinner, eager to finish before your parents asked you to stay the night. Your mom noticed and asked Scotty while he helped her clear the plates instead. He agreed without thinking, and as he stood in the doorway of your childhood room he wondered why he never stopped to think around you.

“I can take the floor,” he offered, not sure what else to say.

You rolled your eyes, slipping your heels off and tossing them to the corner. “It's big enough for both of us. I’m gonna head to the shower. Feel free to get comfy.” You pecked him on the lips before you left the room and Scotty’s world stopped.

Or maybe it started. Suddenly he could feel it moving. Like Atlas shrugged and left him on uneven ground. Why did you kiss him? There was no one around. No one to convince, and yet you kissed him, however briefly. He studied himself in the mirror as he changed into the sweatpants your father lent him. Scotty passed a finger over his lips and thought, of all things, about his baptism. He was born again.

You pressed your forehead against the shower tile, letting the water run down your back. It was cold, but did nothing to calm the fire burning under your skin. Why did you kiss him? Why did you even bring him? It would have been so much easier to bring Jim. You could've kissed him all night and not felt a thing.

With a sigh, you turned the water off. You knew you couldn't hide in the bathroom forever, so you trudged back to your room like you were facing the executioner’s block. Scotty was already asleep when you walked back in, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You tried to slide under the covers without disturbing him.

He was awake when you walked in, though he didn't open his eyes. Scotty wanted to savor the smell of you as you. He could have cried when you curled up next to him, the scent of lavender and vanilla drifting over. He wanted to reach out to you. To hold you against his chest like he used to do with his teddy bear when he got scared because he was scared now. Scared because he knew this would have to end. Scared because he knew he couldn't go back to being your friend.

Scotty listened as your breathing evened out, and in the darkness of your room he pulled together his courage. He turned to lie against you, his chest to your back, and put an arm around your waist. He’d say he must have done it in his sleep. That even the universe could see how perfectly the two of you fit together. “Good night, mo leannan.”

A whisper so quiet you thought it might have been the air conditioner kicking on. You fought the urge to respond, letting Scotty’s words wrap around you until there was nothing but you and him and the thin cloth of your shirts between you. It felt like miles.

You weren't sure when you fell asleep. You weren't sure when you woke up, either, or if you even woke up at all. Waking up with Scotty’s arm still wrapped around you felt like a dream. You could feel him breathing, could feel the sheen of sweat between your bodies, could feel the heat of his heart if you closed your eyes again and concentrated hard enough.

Then he stretched, first out then in like the tide, pulling you back into him. You felt his legs, his hips, the side of his face pressing into your neck. You felt his lips brush your skin as he took a deep breath and froze, pulling away so fast you turned with him.

“Morning,” you smiled, stretching as if you’d just woken up too. You saw the same sadness in Scotty’s eyes that you’d spotted last night.

“Mornin’,” he chirped, happy as always.

You tried to think of something to say but nothing came. There was a tension in the air. Scotty felt it too, and excused himself to the bathroom before the weight of it became too much. Before he lost himself in the sight of you in the morning: hair disheveled from sleep, a mark on your face where you’d slept on your arm.

When he came back, you were dressed, wearing the same clothes as yesterday. The dress that hugged your frame, falling over your thighs in a way that made Scotty worry about his heart. He stopped in the doorway and watched you whisper to yourself.

You were going to tell him. You had to tell him. Scotty deserved to know how you felt. You weren't sure how you were going to tell him, but you knew you had to. With that decision made, you turned to leave the room, only to find Scotty standing there, smiling at you. He tensed when you locked eyes and threw his hands up.

“I’m not peeping I swear. You were dressed when I got here.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don't sound so disappointed.”

“I’m not,” Scotty said, mind trying to catch up to his mouth. “Not that I don't want to see you get dressed. I’m sure your knickers are lovely.”

You laughed as Scotty’s cheeks turned as red as his hair. “If you want to see them, you just have to ask nicely.”

“Course I want to see ‘em,” Scotty smiled.

Your breath caught in your throat. This felt different than your normal banter. You wanted it to be flirting, but there was only one way to know for sure.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” you said at the same time as Scotty. You looked at each other and laughed again. “You first,” you said together again.

“Oh Christ,” Scotty muttered, taking a step forward and closing the distance between you. He slid a hand around the back of your neck, putting the other on your hip as he pulled you closer until finally your lips met.

Your hand went to his shoulder, bunching up the fabric of his shirt, as the other hand ran through Scotty’s short hair. His tongue brushed your lips, but you pulled away as you heard footsteps coming up the stairs. You felt like a kid again getting caught with a boy in her room.

“My mom’s coming,” you whispered, still tasting the mouthwash on Scotty’s tongue.

“So,” Scotty asked, pressing his lips to yours again. “We’re supposed to be in love, aren't we?”

“Are we?” You asked and time froze as Scotty tried to find the words to tell you that yes, he’s loved you since the moment he laid eyes on you. That sometimes he feels like he can't breathe from the weight of it. Of course he was in love with you.

Instead, Scotty smoothed out a wrinkle in the shoulder of your dress and said, “Ladies first.”

“Yes,” you breathed without hesitation.

“Oh thank God,” Scotty said, “I would've felt like a right dick for kissing you otherwise.” With that, he pulled you into another kiss, not breaking it until your mother broke you apart, cooing about how cute the two of you were together.

Tag list: @outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @brooke-taylor0232 @slither-in-a-half @cuddlememerrick @reading-in-moonlight​ @resistance-is-futile81

Ghost: Chapter Four

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word Count: about 1,700

Warnings: explanations of abuse

A/N: Hello, hello! Y’all know the drill by now hopefully. Send me an ask for a tag or a request, links are in the bio! 

You leaned into Steve and savored the feeling of his lips against yours. His lips were soft and gentle against yours, moving against yours at a slow pace. You both shifted, allowing Steve to lean overtop of you slightly. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pulled him closer deepening the kiss until an unwelcome face popped into your head. His threats clouded your thoughts until you were turning away from Steve and pushing him away from you.

“I’m sorry, you should go,” you muttered, not looking him in the eye.

“What? Are you okay?” Steve asked.

“I’m fine Steve, but you should go.”

You stood up from the couch and Steve followed closely.

“Wait, can we just slow down for a minute and talk? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I really am-”

“Steve!” you yelled, cutting him off. “Just go.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “If you want to talk or anything, you know where to find me.”

Steve walked out and you closed the door behind him before turning around and sliding down it and sitting on the floor. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. You had tried dating before but his threats lingered in your mind, causing you to push guys of them away. None of them had as been as understanding as Steve though. Most of them yelled, called you a tease and stormed out. Steve seemed genuinely concerned for you. After what felt like hours, you pulled yourself off the floor and slid into bed.

Next door, Steve was doing the same. He laid awake in his bed, replaying the night's events in his head. Steve had been so happy that you had invited him into your apartment and he was mentally kicking himself for ruining it. The way you talked about your brother and parents made his heart ache. It killed him that you had lost so much. He didn’t go over to your apartment with the intent to kiss you but he couldn’t help himself, he just wanted to ease your pain in any way he could. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you had changed your mind about the kiss but he hoped he could fix whatever he had done to upset you.

Over the next few weeks, you started avoiding Steve. Ducking quickly into your apartment if you heard his voice and checking the hallway before you left to see if he was out there. You hadn’t quite found the words to explain your past just yet but you couldn’t just pretend that nothing had happened.

You were about to leave your apartment when you hear Steve’s voice coming up the stairs.

“I dunno Buck. She just pushed me out of her place and now she’s avoiding me. And I would get it if she didn't want to date me. This life is a lot to handle, I wouldn’t blame her for a second. But I miss talking to her.”

Bucky’s reply was muffled and you heard Steve’s door open and close. You sighed. You missed talking to him too. You made a quick decision, that night you would talk to Steve and come clean about everything. You just hoped he wouldn’t think less of you.

Work seemed to drag on that night. You spent your time in between tables planning what to say to Steve. Doris noticed you staring into space and she stood next to you.

“What’s going on your mind girly? You’ve been distracted all day.”

“I just… I haven’t spoken to Steve in a while and I miss him. So I’m gonna try and track him down tonight.”

“Why have you been avoiding him?” she questioned.

“Why do you assume I’m avoiding him? He could be avoiding me ya know,” you pointed out.

“Sweetie, I saw the way that boy looked at you. He wouldn’t avoid you even if you had the plague.”

You smiled at her, holding your hands up in defeat.

“We were hanging out the night of the blackout and he kissed me and it was so perfect,” you paused, letting out a sigh.

“And then?” Doris prompted.

“And then I freaked out and pushed him away and made him leave.”

“Oh honey,” she said sympathetically. “I’m sure he’d understand-”

You cut her off quickly.

“That’s the thing though, in order to explain my freakout I’d have to explain some other things and I worry that he might see me differently than he does now,” you rambled.

“Let me ask you this. Can it get worse than not talking to him at all?”

“I guess not,” you conceded.

“Then talk to him. Explain everything, he might be more understanding than you think.”

Doris gave you a smile and a pat on the back before wandering away to one of her tables.

She was right. It couldn’t get much worse than avoiding him completely.

You paced around your apartment, waiting to hear Steve’s door open. You still didn’t have a solid plan of what to say to him, figuring it was best to just go for it. You heard heavy footsteps in the hall and then the sound of Steve’s door opening and closing again. Taking one more deep breath, you marched over to Steve’s and knocked on the door.

The door whipped open and revealed and understandably confused Steve.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said quickly. “I just wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” he said, moving aside to let you in.

He guided you into his apartment, the layout was the same as yours though Steve’s place was much tidier than yours. He gestured for you to sit on the couch and then he sat next to you. You let out a sigh before pulling your legs up to sit cross-legged facing him.

“I want to explain what happened the other night.”

“No you don’t have to explain anything,” Steve said quickly.

“I want to, it’s just hard for me.”

“That’s okay,” Steve said, resting his hand on your knee. “Take your time.”

“So you know about my parents.”

Steve nodded.

“For so long, I let that define me. My own parents didn’t want me around so why would anyone else? When I was in school, I was so concentrated on doing well in my classes, I didn’t really have time to date ya know? But a little bit after I graduated, I met someone through some friends. His name was Will and he seemed perfect. Smart, funny, handsome. So we started dating but then things started changing.”

Steve could tell where this was going from the tears in your eyes.

“It started small you know? I would tell him I had plans with friends and he would say that he would rather spend time with me. So I did. My friends starting drifting away but I didn’t care. I had Will.”

You paused for a moment to collect your thoughts.

“Then it got worse. Telling me no and yelling if I questioned him, And then he started hitting me if I did something he didn’t like. And then he was hitting me for no reason at all. At first, he would apologize the next morning, tell me he loved me and that he didn’t mean it, he just lost his head for a bit but that stopped too.”

Steve scootched closed to you on the couch, taking one of your hands and squeezing.

“And I wanted to leave, I really did. But I just kept thinking, he says he loves me and he does this. What’s he gonna do when he hates me? Plus, he’s a cop. So I never really felt like I could report him. The guys I would fill out a report with were the same ones that came over for Sunday football. It’s not like they would believe me or do anything if they did.”

“How did it finally end?” Steve asked quietly.

“He beat me so bad one night I passed out. But I guess the neighbors heard us yelling and called 911. I woke up in the hospital. He pulled some strings and got the charges dropped. He didn’t spend a single second in jail after he beat me so badly that I was in a coma for two days. One night a few weeks after that, when he was out with his friends, I packed a bag and left. I just hoped he wouldn’t follow me.”

“Did he?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him around or anything but he’s called me a few times.”

You focused your gaze on your hand that was being held by Steve, he squeezed gently when he realized there was more you wanted to say.

“The reason I’m telling you all this is I like you, Steve. I like you a lot. But Will is still in the back of my mind. He used to tell me that if I left him for someone else, he would kill the guy I was with and honestly, I believe him. You put your life in danger every day and I don’t want to add to that.”

“I like you too Y/N. And I want to be with you. I’m not scared of some pathetic asshole who hits women to feel better about himself. I want to help you get back to living a full life without looking over your shoulder constantly.”

You had spent the majority of the conversation avoiding Steve’s eye. You were afraid of how he would look at you, disgust for staying with him or worse than that, pity. But when you finally met his gaze, all you saw was genuine concern and care for you. You lifted your hand and lightly ran your fingers over his jaw.

“It’s not gonna be easy,” you whispered.

“Easy is overrated. I care about you so much already Y/N. I want to be there for you in any way that I can,” he said with a smile. “Does this mean I could possibly take you out on a date?”

“I would love that,” you replied with a grin.

Steve took your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“I’m gonna protect you Y/N. I promise.”

The Last Straw

HAHN

The dust hadn't exactly settled after Amanda's reappearance but the family knew to give the Hanna and Katheryn space to think. While doing so they welcomed Amanda and Spencer onto the family. So much so that they went out for lunch. Esperanza volunteered to stay back with the kids and honestly nobody protested. Even though they had given her the rules they still locked them all in the house tight.

After lunch they went back to the Williams family home to continue their good time. The sisters all rode with Lainey, the brothers all rode with Cameron and Caleb and Luca rode together. The sisters reached the house first, Lainey noticed the backyard gate was open. She grabbed her gun from under her seat.

"Marcie, come get in my seat. If you hear anything drive to the place I took you the other day. Call Cam and let him know the gate was open and I'm going in."

Without hesitating, Marcie got out ther backseat and into the driver seat. She, unlike Esperanza, knew how to follow directions and listen. She also knew when to ask questions and when not to. Melissa sat in the passenger seat and Amanda in the back, both were nervous but kept quiet.

After locking the doors, Marcie called her husband on speaker phone.

"What's up, baby? We comin, we had to stop for gas." Cam said joyfully.

"The back gate was open when we got here. Lainey went in, we're in her jeep still."

"Um, aight. We around the corner. We comin', baby. Sit tight."

After hanging up, Cameron called Caleb and sped up. He knew that his sister could handle herself but him nor his brothers wanted her in that house alone just in case.

Slowly, Alaina crept through the house with her gun raised. She could see that it had been torn apart but she wasn't sure if there had been a fight or someone looking for something. When she got to the second floor she heard crying and followed it to Treasure's room. Her heart dropped to her stomach as she approached it. Her room was a tornado just like the downstairs. Lainey moved through the room trying to find the crying that didn't belong to her daughter.

She grabbed the door to the walk in closet then snatched it open with her gun raised. There sat a crying Esperanza. Diego, Brooklyn and CJ sleeping on the floor around her. In that moment, her brothers and Caleb rushed into the room. Carefully Zion, Benny and Cameron grabbed the sleeping infants and took them down to the other women.

Caleb helped Esperanza out of the closet then he and Eddie put away their guns. Lainey still held hers at her side. Once she was out they could tell that somebody had whooped her ass.

"What happened?" Caleb asked calmly.

Esperanza calmed herself down enough to speak. "Me and the girls were up here watching a movie in my room while the babies napped and I heard some noises. I brought the babies in here to the closet and the girls hid under the bed. When I," she paused to wipe her face. "When I got downstairs there were men tearing through everything. I turned to run back up here but they saw me and three of them followed me. They beat me up then went looking for the kids."

Eddie glared at his ex-wife and spoke through gritted teeth, "Where the hell is my daughter and niece, Esperanza?"

Benny, Cameron and Zion had returned, standing quietly inside the doorway.

"I tried to stop them, Eddie. I really did," she cried trying to approach him. He quickly brushed her off. "I was scared. I'm sorry."

Lainey's blood boiled the more she listened to Esperanza talk. She told her parents over and over to make her stay somewhere else that she was a danger to them and their safety. But they didnt listen. They told her to be quiet, to be nice, to keep her hands to herself. That this was the right thing to do.

And look at where it got them.

Eddie blew up at his ex wife.

"Bitch, you let them take my girls? Why the fuck would you lead them to the room the babies were in? Cause I know that's what you did, you stupid enough to do that."

Caleb put his hand on Eddie's chest pushing him back from Esperanza, trying to calm him down. But Eddie pushed him off.

"No! I'm not gonna calm down! They took the girls! I know what the hell happened to Lainey and I'm supposed to be calm? No, fuck that!"

Benny, Cameron and Zion helped Caleb pull Eddie back. They knew if they didnt he would jump on Esperanza. She continues to cry and apologize. Her antics were not only pissing Eddie off but Lainey. Only difference was the way she reacted. No one realized how much she was like Cameron except Caleb. But in this moment he had forgotten when his son and daughter got quiet, it didnt mean any good.

She cocked her gun then brought it up to Esperanza, who was facing away from her. Aiming it at her, Lainey fired three times hitting the woman twice in the arm and once in her ass. Marcie heard the shots, she glanced at the house then drove off. Luca drove him and Spencer away in Caleb's car as well.

Esperanza hit the floor screaming in pain. Lainey put her gun away and stood over Esperanza staring down at her while her brothers and father stared at her. Caleb slowly approached her.

"Lainey, babygirl, step back." He said softly.

"No! I'm tired of bullshitting with this bitch. This was the last fucking straw, she better be glad I didn't aim for her fucking head," Lainey spat kicking her injured ass making her scream even louder. "I swear on everything I love if anything happens to either of those girls she gon wish I took her fucking head off."

Caleb tried to pull his daughter to him but she snatched away and left the room. Eddie didnt hesitate, he was going with his sister too. They had to find their girls.

"Go with them, Benny."

"Uh, Pop, I'll go with them," Cameron offered.

Caleb shook his head.

"No, I need someone calm with them. Go, B. I trust you. Go."

Nodding, Benny ran out the room to catch up to his siblings. They were getting into Eddie's truck when he got outside. He hopped in the backseat with them, ready for whatever but intended on calming them down first.

Esperanza cried loudly.

"I need an ambulance! I'm gonna die!"

Zion sucked his teeth. "She wasn't shooting to kill, she shot you to make a point. You gon be aight."

Cameron sighed and picked her up off the ground, carrying her in his arms. "Where we takin' her?"

"Hosptial," Caleb answered. "Zion, go with him. Ima pack some shit up to take to the other women and get ya mama and auntie."

"By yourself," Zion asked with a frown.

"No, I'm gonna call Mitch and Charles. Go before she passes out."

After they left, Caleb stood in the middle of his you gest granddaughter's room calling both men. He gave them a quick synopsis and urged them to come to the house as quickly and safely as they could.

If Kaine and Goddess wanted to play this game, he'd play it even better. As his son stated before this meant war.

Just Stories

Fandom: Stranger Things

dad!Steve x Reader

Request: The kids are babysitting (they are a bit older). Steve is a bit apprehensive letting them look after his two children but y/n says they’ll be fine and the adventure begins when the parents leave. @abbiefangirls247

1992

Your nerves are all over as you sit on the couch watching your two young ones run around and play. Steve walks through the living room, smelling of cologne and hair product, dressed for your anniversary date tonight. Steve ruffles Danny’s hair as he walks past and sits on the couch beside you, pulling you close and kissing your forehead. The two of you just sit there while your four and seven-year-old chase each other and play tag until the kids come to babysit.

“Knock knock.” As if on cue the front door opens and in walks Lucas, Max and Dustin with arms full of snack foods and movies. “Who’s ready to have some fun!?” Dustin exclaims, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Me me me!” The kids shout in unison as they jump up and down. The two of them love the other kids — well young adults — to pieces, which makes leaving them to babysit a little easier.

“Lily should be getting tired here soon and Danny had a nap earlier but he’ll take himself to bed when he’s tired. I just wouldn’t let them stay up past nine-thirty or ten.” You grab Steve’s wallet, pulling out some money for each of the kids. “We should be back around…” You trail off, looking back at Steve.

“Depends on where the night takes us.” He says with a sly smile as he gives you a playful wink.

“Oh stop that.” You gasp, lightly smacking him on the chest and the three stand there shifting their weight from one foot to the other. “We shouldn’t be out too late but make yourselves comfortable, Y'all know where everything is at.”

“If you need anything, y/n’s parent’s number is on the fridge,” Steve says picking up Lily as she tries climbing up his legs. “You two stinkers going to be good?” He asks, poking Lilly’s stomach with his finger.

“Yes, Daddy.” She responds in her small sing-song voice.

“You better.” He kisses her forehead and sets her back on the floor, leaning down to hug Danny.

“Mommy love you, we will see you later.” You smile, giving both the kids big hugs and kisses. “Okay, we good?” You ask, standing up and straightening out your dress.

“Yeah, yeah. You two lovebirds get going. Go enjoy your night.” Lucas smiles, practically pushing you and Steve out of the door.

“I’ll make sure they behave.” Max laughs as the two of you walk out the door and Lucas shuts it behind you.

Steve guides you to the vehicle, opening the door for you and making sure you are buckled in before closing the door and getting in on his side. After buckling in and starting up the engine he looks over at you and chuckles at the way you are staring at the house and bouncing in your seat as if you can’t wait to get out and have adult time for once. Steve was all for going out and having fun but was a little apprehensive about letting the teens that find trouble around every corner watch the kids. You figured if the Danny and Lily have someone young and fun it would be more like playing and having fun than being babysat and the kids love Steve’s teenagers.

“Steve, they will be fine.” You try to reassure him.

“You’re right, let’s go.” He says with a sigh as he nods his head, smiling at you.

Steve nods at you with a smile and pulls out of the driveway and takes off down the street. The early evening sky was just beginning to dim and the air cools slightly. The horizon, where the sun was starting to make its move on the Earth, was a beautiful magenta color that you and he drove toward.

“For you and you and the two of you,” Dustin says as he passes out candy and chips to everyone, sitting around the living room as some movie Lucas grabbed from his house is playing. “What is this movie?”

“Little Monsters, it’s one or Erica’s movies.” Lucas shrugs, popping a sour patch kid in his mouth.

“Are you sure this is an okay movie for them to be watching? It’s not going to be too scary is it?” Max asks, looking at the two little ones with their eyes glued to the television in front of them.

“Yeah, I mean it’s not like they are watching something about the Mindflayer or Demogorgon or Dart,” Lucas says the last one in a sharp voice, looking over at Dustin who throws his hands up in surrender.

“Hey, let's not bring that back-”

“What’s a Mindflayer and those other things?” Daniel asks both his and Lily’s attention turned to the three teenagers.

Dustin’s eyes fly wide as he looks over at Lucas and Max, who look equally as uncertain of what to say. Lucas begins to make an attempt to say something in response to Daniel’s question but ends up stuttering and falling over his words. Once both of the kids are looking at the older once in anticipation Max takes over in the explanation.

“It’s something you will learn about when you are older. You aren’t old enough to learn about that yet.” Max says as she punches Lucas in the arm.

“I’m seven, I’m a big boy. Lily is only four, she’s too little but I’m not.” He says as he holds his head high and puffs out his chest as he’s watched his Dad do plenty of times. “And Mommy says I act older than seven.”

Daniel folds his arms across his chest, looking at the three older kids in a way they’ve seen Steve look at them when he knows they aren’t telling the whole truth. The look Steve gives that makes Dustin crumble like a cookie each time but Dustin was determined to hold his ground, all three of the kids were. Once Daniel saw they were unwavering in their decision to not tell them, he knew exactly what to do that would have them ready to change the subject — it happens every time he asks Steve.

“How are babies made?” He asks tilting his head to the side, honestly wanting to know but needing to know about the things they were talking about earlier.

“We are going to have to go on dates without the little munchkins more often.” Steve smiles at you as he pulls up into the drive. “Maybe send them to your parents for the night next time.” He winks, leaning in and kissing you once the car is in park and the engine cut.

“I like the sound of that.” You smile.

Movement in your peripheral vision catches your attention. Your head snaps over to the big bay window with the curtains drawn closed and the shadow moving across it. The figure holds up a bat-shaped object, almost exactly like the nail-ridden bat Steve had hidden in the closet. You watch it make contact with another shadow but this one is almost monster-like. Your heart drops to your stomach as you start fumbling with the handle to pull it open.

Steve reacted faster than you before you knew it he was out of the car and running up to the door, dropping his keys on the way. By the time he recovers his keys and makes it back to the door you as close behind him. He shoves the key in and unlocks the door, pushing it open and letting it fly back and slam against the way, probably creating a hole in the wall where it made contact. There stands everything you were watching go down from the other side of the curtain.

“What the hell is going on?” Steve asks, his heart beating fast and voice a little louder than necessary.

“Oh, hi Daddy.” Danny says with a smile and the three older ones stare with wide, surprised eyes. “You like my superhero outfit?”

Daniel stands there in front of the window, a plastic bat with pipe cleaners taped to look like nails resting on his shoulder. He has jeans, sneakers, a denim jacket — the whole nine yards — the kid even hair plastic gloves on his hands and a bandana tied around to cover his mouth. He looked exactly like his dad did that day you ran found him and the kids caught up in monster drama.

“What have you been doing?” You ask, trying to bite back a giggle as you pick up one of Lily’s animal puppets from the floor.

“They were telling me stories about something-gordons.” Danny responds with a smile that wrinkles his nose, just like yours.

“Demogorgons?” Steve shouts.

“Shh, she’s asleep.” Max puts her finger to her lips and then points to Lily on the couch.

“And Mindflayer and his dogs.” Danny jumps up and down, excited as he swings the bat down on the puppets.

“Okay, that’s enough for tonight. Tell Dustin, Lucas and Max goodbye.” You say as you take the toy bat from his small hands.”And then head off to bed, Daddy and I will be in there soon.”

“Bye, thanks for playing with me.” He skips off to his bedroom, waving goodbye.

“I can’t believe you told him those stories, he’s just seven,” Steve says disappointed as he stares at the three teenagers, standing to their feet.

“And that is exactly what they are to him, just stories, he will be fine.” You sigh as you pick a sleeping Lily up in your arms. “If I’m not mistaken you drug him along with you while you went after one of those things, so you Steven Harrington, have no room to talk.”

Everyone is silent for a minute before Steve speaks again. “Okay, well you three get home safe.” Steve nods with a tired look on his face.

Once they leave and both the kids are tucked in and asleep, you and Steve reconvene in the bedroom. Tired and ready to be cuddled up against each other underneath the blankets. His body warm against yours and his the sound of his heartbeat soothing as the two of you lay there in the dark.

“Ya know, Danny looked just like you in that little outfit him and the kids put together.” You turn to face him, hand softly caressing his face. “We have some pretty cute kids.”

“Yes, we do. I have a pretty cute wife too.” He kisses your forehead.

“Pretty cute?” You gasp playfully.

“The cutest, especially when you called me out earlier. You used that ‘mom voice’ of yours and it was pretty hot.” He pulls you closer to him, placing kisses along your jaw and up to your lips. “Pretty damn hot.”

Iron heart and a spider shaped key- chapter 10

A/N: I am having a major hard time with uploading so I am very sorry that those chapters take so long, if anyone else had this problem tell me how to fix it!

Warning- violence?

Paring- Peter Parker x stark!reader

Type: angst for the most part but with fluff cause.

Word count: 3257

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The five avengers sat at the cold wooden table, all staring at the streaming security footage showing you and Peter. “Yeah I can see that now” Steve whispered behind the ‘ironspider’ shippers “see! Told ya! They are so annoying! And perfect for each other! Honestly they are so stupid!” Bucky called enthusiastically “chill Buck.” Wanda giggled shaking her head as the screen disappeared, he simply mouthed ‘no’ to her with glaring eyes. “So you’ll do it?” Natasha exclaimed thrilled “I..” he looked around at the mischievous pleading eyes and sighed dramatically “Fine!” Steve smiled and walked back to the training room, for a moment or two he scanned the room, you and Tom were in two different edges of the room, both look the same- angry and frustrated. 

A loud clap drew all attention to him, stopping the current pull up you’ve done and jumping to see him standing with crossed arms. “Both of you to the mattress.” He commented pointing to the large red mattress in the room, for a moment you looked at Peter who seemed as confused but still stepped in the center, you mirrored his action and slowly joined him. “Ok. Peter. You do a lot of combat on your day to day superhero duties.” Steve recalled making you roll your eyes at Peter who seemed a bit hurt by your underestimation, “so. Y/n is probably the best person to challenge you.” He reached your arm to you, as if he was re-introducing you to each other. You smirked devilishly, knowing that you could beat him down easily. Explaining the rules briefly to Peter you looked over your nails to try and look as if he wasn’t intimidating you in the slightest. “Ok kids. Positions.” You tilted you head a bit and smirked at his slouchy position, “play nice. Start!” He signaled and you waited for Peter to take the first move, walking around in a circle “oh come on Peter? Why do I always have to do the first move!” You yelled side kicking his stomach taking him by surprise “well..” he growled slowly rising from his slammed position “maybe because I can’t hit you first!” He smirked as you dodged his punch and knocked him off his feet with a swift move. He was shocked falling to the ground a second time in less then 2 minuets of fighting with you, he looked at you mesmerized as standing tall above him tightening you ponytail “and that’s why you’ll never win.” You said quietly but loud enough for him to hear as he rose back to his feet. “told you she was tough. Best out of three?” Steve suggested eyeing you knowing you’d bit down for a challenge “sure. Let’s see how Peter would do this time” you smiled innocently. “Bet you he’s gonna lose again?” You turned your head to the door and noticed Natasha, Bucky Sam and Wanda all walking in confidently “excuse me?” Peter called looking over your shoulder “guys what are you doing here?” You hissed annoyed “watching the show. I bet Peter’s gonna win.” Sam called “Well I fought with y/n, I put my money on her!” You darted your eyes between the four ignoring Bucky’s wink and returning to Peter “guess we have a crowd” you shrugged at the brown eyed boy “always being watched with you aren’t I?” Peter smiled, you shook your head desperately trying to concentrate as Steve clapped his hands shushing the four people who sat next to the wall in front of you “two out of three. Start!” You barely heard him and all you could focus on Peter movements, trying to grip you with an uppercut, you felt his hot breath next to your ear and it drove you mad, you fluttered your eyes and desperately brought yourself back to reality, you lifted yourself to his shoulder with a fast spin and almost dropping him to the floor, but something happened, it was so fast you don’t even know how but you found yourself beneath him as he hovered over you, you felt him almost crushing you, a soft smirk appeared on his arrogant face so you just pushed him away angrily. “last chance Peter make the right move” you whispered hoping he’d finally understand the meaning behind your words, he simply shook his head as you both dragged yourself to your starting positions. “Last chance to bet guys!” Wanda called and you simply glared at her before returning to look at Peter ‘no. Losing.’ A voice within you called and fire was lit in your competitive self. “If I win what do I get?” Peter smirked as you were circling the mattress, completely blocking Sam’s comments on how you should just fight not talk. “what you always get when I lose!” You smiled sweetly, “which is?” His voice dripping honey making you annoyed by the second “Pain.” You sneered and punched his nose angrily making him hold it as blood began dripping down “I said NICE! Stark!” Steve yelled behind you “I don’t like being played Peter.” You said deadly making the boy to lower his hands “I don’t want to be a pawn in your game.” He replied seriously and you straightened your position and walked over just a bit “than don’t be a tool.” You hissed and in less than a second you returned to fighting position, you bended your knees and felt every muscles tense in your body as you threw a knockout punch to his jaw, making him fall backwards “Damnnn!!” The group called in unity as Steve yelled behind you “Y/N ROSEMARY STARK!” ,Your eyes shot up immediately and you turned to see everyone rushing to the young boy “s-sorry..” you whispered seeing Bucky and Sam lifting the boy to the side a soft and satisfied grin appearing on their mouths “go to your room.” Steve called and you squinted your eyes at him “what..?” “You heard me..” he closed his eyes, he never wanted to send you to your room and be like a bad parent to you but he needed you to stay away and relax a bit. “Fine.” You huffed and left the room, you felt bad a bit afterwards, you remembered the timid glance you took as Peter’s nose kept bleeding, you completely ignored the fact he was injured a few days ago. And that’s when it hit you, well, him. You might have seriously hurt him! You paced around your room worriedly trying to somehow justify your actions, or completely ignoring them, shivers running through your now wet hair as your movements caused wind to go through them, you could see your own character in the mirror, a different outfit same issue. The light from the blue sky lighting your room making the blue carpets pop next to the white furniture and making your shadow fall behind you as you ran along with your thoughts, you could see your polaroids shining as the sun kissed the frame of the square frame, pictures of your always busy friends, avengers family nights, parties, and...“When you said you broke one of my boys I didn’t thought you’d actually do it!” Your father entered the room making your heart jump in fear “Dad!” You squealed placing a hand over your racing heart, he shook his head a disappointment smile on his face “why did you have to punch him that hard huh sweetie?” “He deserves it.” You sneered defensibly. Your fingers fidgeted slightly as he took a few steps closer but still remaining quiet “did I disturb one of your meetings papa..?” You asked trying not to show how ashamed you were, noticing he was wearing his suit and tie and looking more formal than usual “no..it was nothing anyways..” he whispered sweetly, the tone of his voice making you calmer as he sat next to you “I didn’t mean to hit him that hard papa...” you confessed looking off unable to see his disappointment “I know you didn’t...but I gotta ask..” he said gently taking a seat close to you and placing a hand over your back in comfort, you shot him a guilty look “is there anything that upsets you at the moment? You only act this way when something is wrong” It was a complicated question for you to answer, why were you upset? Loneliness, lack of fatherly attention, stress, feeling like you’re being played, boredom, unsatisfied with almost everything and overall feeling sad, so fucking sad. So fucking sad that your friends are abandoning you on your birthday, so fucking sad that you feel like a disappointment, so fucking sad that you can’t do anything right, so fucking sad that you can’t find the optimistic option in a lot of stuff like you once did, Tears formed in your eyes as you tried to think of an explanation, a way to scream with simple, quite words, but nothing came. Only the million thoughts yelling in your brain of how much of a brat you are to not appreciate everything you have. Your father sighed noticing your inner fight and pulled you closer to him, burying your face in his chest, at first you stayed cold like stone, fighting every tear to stay away, but eventually you returned him a full on bear hug and let the few drops escape your eyes before closing the leaking feelings. “Everything is going to be ok princess.. I promise you..” feeling the tingles as he brushed his fingers through your y/h/c hair, calming you and banishing every thought away. “he’s fine...” you looked to the side and tighten your hug “a bloody nose and bruce is scanning for broken bones right now just so you know..and I know you want to know because..I know you care..” he mumbled kindly and you twisted your lips into a tight smile at his words “honey... I need to ask you something...” he began, you pushed away a bit and lifted your head up to face him, you searched you father’s brown eyes for an answer but nothing was to reveal itself until he finally spoke again “would you like to..uh..go upgrade your stuff?” He smiled kindly and you exhaled happily trying to forget what happened less than an hour ago. He always did know you the best.

“Damn.. remind me to never get me on your bad side” Rhodey called, entering to the bright room carrying four cups of coffee “you get this now?” You asked sarcastically looking briefly to his smug face before returning to grip the screwdriver tightly as he spoke to your dad. You kind if ignored their words and your own guilty thoughts and drowned in the music in your earphones, squinting your eyes when tightly screwing a part to it’s place. A soft tap brought you back to reality and you turned to your dad with a sweet smirk, “I’m going to go upstairs to check on the kid...please don’t blow anything up ok?” He laughed ruffling your hair slightly and you scrunched your noes pretending to be annoyed but letting a small giggle as he turned away. “What are you planning for your—?” You jumped and snapped to look at Rhodney who spun in a black leather chair “jeez..don’t do that” he shook his head and took a small sip from his mug “what are you planning for your birthday?” He smiled gently and you smiled sadly “nothing. All my friends are busy.” He frowned at you a bit curiosity and confusion laced in his words “all of them?” You nodded your head with a small hum “I have 5 close friends Rhodes all the rest are just acquaintances or “fans” you clenched your jaw hating the fact you always had to push them away, “and I don’t feel like spending my 17th birthday with people who only wants to see where I live” you huffed and tore your eyes away from him and continued to work on your suit. “Well he’s ok!” Your father beamed and you listened carefully now that he was speaking with Rhodeny, “there you are!” Steve called from the entrance marching his way to you with a hidden expression “here I am!” You faked a cheer “come on Tony she beat your intern and you reward her!?” Steve called behind you looking at your dad with a stern expression “yes?” Tony shrugged taking a step closer to you placing a protective hand over your shoulder, “please don’t fight again..” you whispered and placing the screwdriver on the freezing metal table “we are not fighting. We are just...talking.” Your father smiled and Steve nodded ever so slightly with a confirming smile, both of them remembering how the avengers dismemberment ship effected you. “As much as I am amazed about your abilities you need to go and apologize.” Steve commanded coldly, you wanted too really, but being told what to do was never your thing, especially not apologizing. “no.” Was all you said before brushing away from your father and walking to Rhodney who handed you your coffee, he was already used to it, you being told what to do and you doing the opposite, or worse, doing what you were told with the worst intentions. “What do you mean no!” He strolled after you but your father stopped him, placing a hand over his chest and you stared at him testing your limits “I gave a fair fight. Not my fault he’s a weak.” You taunted taking a slow sip from your coffee, “what.” You hissed looking at the three men in the room “what!” You yelled, they all exchanged looks quickly before your father slowly turned to you “you do need to apologize...” you turned to your dad with a bitch face “give me one reason why.” You hissed and he was quick to answer “because if you won’t I’d cancel your birthday party” he said crossing his arms, you raised your eyebrow at him, mimicking the same act he’s done and crossing your arms over your chest “yeah like I have friends to—try again.” You cut yourself and taunted over the two men, you love your dad but apologizing for standing your ground is not one of them “Fine. Because I am your dad and I said so!” He insisted, you rolled your eyes at that sentence but gave up knowing that your father is as stubborn as heck and strolled up to the elevator. You didn’t care about your father worried glance or the shocked expressions around the room, you held your head up high and waited for the elevator to take you upstairs. “hey sorry Peter for beating you up but you deserved it cause you are an idiot.” You mocked your own way of apologizing, how the hell were you supposed to do it anyways! Next thing you knew you were at the entrance of his door, your hand was hovering over the white wooden door until you fisted your hand and tapped quietly “come in!” The sound of his voice made your stomach drop to the basement floor, “hey..” you whispered moving the door a bit to look at him sitting next to his computer “oh..hey..” he smiled shyly ‘WHAT! ARE! WORDS!’ Your mind yelled as you tried to come up with a normal sentence “you look better intern...” you smiled awkwardly slightly fixing your posture and washed your smile away “Steve told me to come here to apologize” you blamed Steve not wanting to sound as if you cared, you looked at his ruffled hair and his expression, it was weird. His upper side of the face seemed frustrated or angry but his lips had a tucked in smirk away, sort of a taunting “yeah ok” kind of face. You avoided his gaze and faked a small cough crossing your arms tightly “yeah so sorry for kicking your butt.” You said briefly and turned away quickly closing the door ‘what the fuuuucckkkkkkkkk’ your thoughts yelled, how is that even possible for you to forget how to act when around him. “This is so dumb...” you rolled your eyes but then..you heard him chuckle lightly and you couldn’t help but to smile, then wiping it away with a grunt. “Did you apologized?” You dad asked as you walked down the stairs, you nodded your head with a hum “blaming it on Steve is not an apology.” He rose his eyebrows judgingly making you froze in your place with a frown “well, not my fault. He fought Bucky once and knocked him off thought he’d have the abilities. And another thing, I simply mimicked a real fight. Now that he’s an avenger he needs to see what is the “level” that we’re on“ you quoted before continuing to walk to the direction of your suit, your sneakers making squeaking noises on the black marble. You always did have it in you when it came to proving a point, even if it was slightly twisting the truth. “Wait. How did you know I blamed Steve?” You asked pretending to be Surprised that he looked through security cameras “Looked through security cameras.” He shrugged and handed you your missing screwdriver “So what are you working on this time?” You smiled proudly “missals. Trying to multiply them and make their aiming better” you smirked before dropping the screwdriver and sliding into your red leather chair letting it spin you until you get to your work table, you quickly tapped a few codes, words and orders your father watching you from afar feeling proud and maybe a bit intimidated by your cleverness. After almost 6 hours of working and joking alongside your dad you got up and stretched your arms, making your whole body hurt as you remembered you weren’t really given the chance to stretch properly after your morning training. “What time is it?” You asked looking at the city lights hologram your dad had “maybe 10? 11?” Your dad shrugged before turning to his computer once again “Dad what are you doing again?” You giggled abandoning your work position “working on the new and improved spiderman outfit” he cheered a proud smile as he managed to put a part in it’s place “Wanna help?” You rolled your eyes dramatically “yeah. Totally.” You faked making him turn to you confusion written on his face “why is he living with us again?” You grunts leaning against a dark colored table “his aunt and I had a looonnngggg conversation.” He emphasized the amount of time and that made you smile slightly “long story short we decided it’ll be better if he would move here and will be better protected and trained” you nodded your head slightly with a smile and looked at your phone before widening your eyes in shock “low battery!!” You squealed and turned to your dad worried “got no chargers here kid you stole them already” your dad scoffed, a chuckle running through the room as you sprinted upstairs to your room “oh don’t die don’t die come on!” You prayed as the elevator door opened and you pressed maybe a million times on your floor button as if it’ll help. And just like that you got a text from your friend Mona “ most boys are so stupid... I could just straight bitchslap them” you laughed a bit and the door opened, you opened the app and began typing pushing yourself as the doors seemed to open extremely slow than usual, your pushed your door eagerly to reach your lifeline, suddenly closing your eyes in fright as you felt something like sand or ash falling to your body, you let out a scream obviously, and then opened your eyes. Glitter. Fucking glitter!

Tag list (send an ask if you want to be tagged here!)💕 @pieceofhamiltrash @tom-parkers-girl @all-fandomthings@thankyouspiderr @sterolinelover13 @fiesty5sos @jilyloveswolfstar @floodinginstars @dayswithoutcoffee @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @purpstraw @spacequeenstuff @awesomefandomsunited @dogdemo

Secret-Chanyeol Fluff

Happy Yeol Day! Here’s a super fluffy Chanyeol one shot inspired by the super fluffy baby feels i was having earlier. (I died writing this just for the record thanks I’m not sure why I did this I’m now dead) -A

“You ready babe?” Chanyeol asked, hugging me tightly.

We were hanging out at the apartment, waiting for the other members to come over. We had something we were keeping from them, and we were finally ready to tell them.

For weeks we’ve kept it a secret. Chanyeol had tried so hard to not spill the beans, to not let everyone know that we were having a little one.

Chanyeol was so excited when I told him. When I found out, I got so excited that I went to the nearest shop and bought a Father’s Day card to give him. On the inside I wrote ‘Hi Dad’ and placed a picture of the pregnancy test on the inside that just read ‘Pregnant’.

When he got home I handed him the card. He was incredibly confused, but once he opened it and saw the inside, he looked at me and had the biggest smile on his face.

“Are you serious? We’re going to be parents?” He asked excitedly.

I nodded my head and he started yelling. He picked me up and spun me around and kissed me. He placed both hands on my belly and dropped to his knees so he could kiss the small baby growing in my belly as well.

“Hey little one, It’s your dad. I can’t wait to finally see you” He said, kissing my belly again.

He would always want to touch my belly when we were around everyone, but I had to stop him constantly. He was so antsy about telling everyone but I was incredibly apprehensive.

I wanted to make sure our baby was healthy before we announced it to anyone, just in case anything would go wrong. I was happy that it was autumn, because it made it easy to cover my growing belly with big baggy sweaters and long hoodies. They were key to keeping our secret hidden in plain sight.

It was killing Chanyeol to keep it a secret, but he did well. Luckily, he got a lot of his excitement out at night time when we were lying in bed or when we were home alone.

He loved talking to our little one. He would rub my belly all the time, talking about the baby, whether it’s a he or a she. Chanyeol sang to the baby constantly. Every night he would grab his guitar and sing random songs to the baby.

“Maybe it’ll be musical like me” he said, beaming every time he brought it up.

“Musical like us baby.” I said, kissing him.

Chanyeol would always talk about how smart and talented he or she would be, and would also talk about what they may look like.

“I hope it has your eyes” he would say, “and your ears.”

“Baby boy, chances are our kids will have your ears, you’ll just have to accept that. Besides, your ears are one of my favorite things about you. I honestly hope they have your ears.” I said.

He just shook his head and continued daydreaming about what our kids would be like.

He talked about how we were going to tell the members, and how we were going to tell our families as well. We talked about small gifts for our parents,

The first ultrasound was a whirlwind. The moment we saw our little one on the screen, excitement overtook us. We both had the biggest smiles on our faces, and when the doctor let us hear our baby’s heart beat for the first time, we held hands and sobbed. It was one of the most amazing moments we have ever experienced in our lives.

Weeks passed and we were finally ready to tell everyone. I wanted to wait until the 12-week appointment, but we decided we were going wait until about 16 weeks to find out what we were having before we told anyone.

Chanyeol and I had already told our families the gender, but we wanted to do something special for the boys, so our families were sworn to secrecy until we could tell them.

We set up a big family dinner with the help of my friend Trinity, and when the boys got there they were really surprised. We ate happily and after dinner we sat around the living room.

Chanyeol cleared his throat and started to speak. He was incredibly nervous, so his voice cracked for a moment. Baekhyun started laughing which made a few other members laugh, including Chanyeol. This made him a lot less nervous and he was finally able to begin his announcement.

“I have something to say. (Y/N) and I have been keeping a secret from you. We wanted to wait until the right time, and we are so excited to tell you.”

The members started stirring, talking to each other and speculating about what the news could be. They kept looking at each other, then at us, trying to guess. Once it quieted down, Chanyeol asked me to stand up next to him.

“We wanted to make sure everything was in the clear before we told you. WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” He yelled, causing the members to yell in excitement in response to him.

“YA! I’m so excited” Baekhyun said, standing up and hugging me.

“I’m going to be an uncle? This is amazing!” Minseok exclaimed

“I’m going to buy him or her all kinds of fun outfits” Sehun said, smiling widely.

“About that….” Chanyeol said. “We actually know what we’re having. We have something special for you guys so you can find out in a fun way.”

I pulled the white box out of the fridge and placed it on the counter. I took the tall white frosted cake from the box. On the top it said, “He or she, what will it be?” With lots of question marks on it for decoration.

“Who wants to do the honors?” I asked, “because we’ve all seen Chanyeol’s cake cutting skills, so I think someone else should do it” I chuckled.

This caused a bit of an uproar between the members, arguing about who was going to cut the cake.

“Alright fine. Rock paper scissors. Winner gets to cut the cake.” Junmyeon said, “It’s only fair that way.”

All of the members (Minus Chanyeol) played rock paper scissors until one winner was decided.

“Kyungsoo! You win. You get to cut the cake.” Chanyeol said, handing him the knife.

Kyungsoo Cut the cake down the middle then again at an angle to get the perfect slice. The members crowded around the cake, watching with excitement as Kyungsoo lifted the piece of cake up, revealing the white cake with bright BLUE icing between the layers.

Cheers exploded through the room when they saw it.

“WAH! It’s a BOY! I’M SO EXCITED” Shouted Jongin, as he hugged Chanyeol and jumped in place.

“Ah a boy! How exciting!” Yixing said, hugging me tightly “Congratulations!”

“This is amazing!!! Jongdae exclaimed “Let’s talk about boy names after we eat cake! You know, Jongdae isn’t a bad name” he said jokingly as he got in line for cake.

Chanyeol shook his head as he walked over to me. He hugged me from behind and was finally able to place his hands on my stomach freely, without having to hide anything from anyone. I placed my hands over his and placed my head back onto his shoulder.

“I’m so happy we finally got to tell them about our little boy, Chanyeol.”

“Me too baby” He said. “Woah, what was that?” He asked, moving his hand around my belly.

“I….I think he just kicked your hand baby. I’ve felt little flutters before, but that was definitely a stronger kick than I’ve felt before.” I explained, rubbing my hand over the spot where the baby had kicked.

We spent the rest of the evening with the members. We ate cake, talked about boy names, how we should do the nursery, and many other things. The boys talked about how excited they were to be our son’s ‘Uncles’, and how they would spoil him.

It was a great evening filled with love for us and our soon to be little one, and it was a night we certainly wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon.

An Unexpected Surprise - Part 3 - Liam Dunbar Imagine

Requested by so many readers. :)

Word Count: 3.313

Warnings:  cursing, angst, and very little smut. 

Author’s Note: Not proof read. Sorry, not sorry, ha. Also, I actually didn’t leave this chapter on a cliffhanger. It sort of has an ending. I have no ideas for a part 4. I honestly don’t know if I want write a part 4. If you want one, send in some ideas and I’ll decide.

[My Teen Wolf Master List]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. Liam froze. Although he was looking directly at her, his mind was elsewhere as her words repeated through his mind. Y/N heard his heart skip a beat, almost as if his heart had dropped to his stomach, which it did. Liam was reeking with so many different emotions: anger, hurt, worried, sad, and nervousness. Y/N could sense them. She slowly reached for his hand. "Please say something," she whispered as she squeezed his hand.

The small gesture pulled Liam out of his trance and pulled his hand away from her grip. He swallowed hard and looked at her. Her heart was racing. He could sense she was scared, as she should be. Liam clenched his jaw before he let out a deep breath. "Is it mine?"

Y/N pulled back. His question was kind of a low blow to the stomach. She wasn't expecting that to be his first question.

"Of course it's yours. Why would you even think you had to ask such a thing?"

"I don't know," he stood up from the porch steps and paced in front of her, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe because you were in heat and you said you practically hump anything in sight. How do I not know you didn't sleep with anyone else after you slept with me?!" His voice rose after each sentence. The more Liam spoke, the more her vision began to blur with warm tears.

"You're an asshole." Liam heard the pain and hurt in her small and scared voice. "That you would think so low of me, to be sleeping around with anyone with a dick."

"After the way you left things with us, what am I supposed to think, huh?"

"Just leave, Liam," Y/N said as she stood up and hugged herself.

"It won't be hard to do. After all, I learned from the best." His words stung Y/N, letting her tears fall down her cheeks as he walked away. She knew she messed up that night and she did walk out on him. Although she knew walking out on Liam hurt him and she deserved Liam hating her for it, she never expected Liam to actually throw it in her face. Now that Liam knew the truth and clearly wanted nothing to do with her or the baby, she was back to square one: not knowing what to do.

*****

Liam slammed the front door and rushed up to his room, completely ignoring his stepfather calling out to him. He flung his bedroom door open, letting the doorknob hit the wall. His eyes scanned his room, looking for something to hit or break. Instead, he started destroying everything in his room. He knocked down the things he had on top of his dresser, the lacrosse trophies on his shelves, the books, notebooks, and papers along with pens and pencils on his desk, making his room look like a tornado had came through his room.

"Liam!" His stepfather rushed in and grabbed Liam, trying to stop him from knocking down the dresser and breaking it in half. Liam tried to push him off, but his stepfather refused. He tightened his arms around his angry son and hugged him tight. Liam stopped fighting and finally let everything out. He clung on to his stepfather and sobbed, whispering 'I'm so sorry' repeatedly. His stepfather held Liam until his sobs turned into sniffles.

"What happened, son?" He asked worriedly once Liam pulled back from his embrace. Liam wiped his fallen tears with the back of his hand as he took a deep breath. He wasn't sure exactly how his stepfather would take the news.

"Y/N's pregnant...” He mumbled looking down at his fingers, but Dr. Geyer heard it loud and clear.

"Okay…" Dr. Geyer trailed, unsure how to react to Liam's best friend being pregnant. "The best thing you can do is be there for her, Liam. She's your best friend and she's going to need you now more than ever."

A wave of guilt washed over him as he realized he had already failed. He sniffled, his eyes still glued to his fingers. "There's more..." he trailed.

His stepfather tensed up, wondering how much more there was after that news. "What is it, son?"

Warm tears welled up in Liam's broken blue eyes again as he finally looked at the only man he ever called his dad. He swallowed the golf size lump in the back of his throat to talk.

"I'm so sorry, dad...." he trailed, knowing the words that were about to roll off his tongue would disappoint him. "It's mine," he said as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Dr. Geyer looked at him completely shocked, but quickly became the supportive parent Liam needed. "We'll figure it out, okay? Don't worry, son. It's not exactly ideal as no parent wants their kids to have a baby in high school, but we'll help you and Y/N on whatever you two decide, okay?"

Liam pulled him in for a hug, so grateful his stepfather didn't scream at him, or said he was disappointed in him, or worse, kicked him out of the house. At that sudden realization, Liam gasped and pulled back from his stepfather.

"What is it, son?"

"That's why she's living with Scott," he said more to himself than his stepfather.

"Who? Y/N? Why?"

Liam looked up at his dad before he spoke, "her parents must have kicked her out when she told them she's pregnant."

"That's terrible," his stepfather said. "She didn't tell you that when she told you about the baby?"

"Um, no."

"Do you know how far along she is?"

"No."

"Do you know anything?"

Liam sighed. "No. I kind of snapped at her when she told me. We haven't exactly been taking since... ya know."

Although Dr. Geyer didn't need to be a rocket science to figure out what Liam meant, he wanted to know what happened. Not the details of how it happened, but the reason why they drifted apart and stopped talking.

"Son, what happened?" He asked. Liam stared at his stepfather, his mind drifting off to what happened after they left Lydia's party.

Y/N's electric yellow eyes locked with Liam's as her legs straddled his waist with her hands on his chest, while lifting her hips and bringing herself back down on him.

"I'm close," Liam growled, his claws dug into her hips while thrusting himself deeper, hitting that hidden spot.

The intense feeling in the bottom of her stomach was ready to explode. "Come for me," she growled as she clenched around him. Liam let out a roar as he filled her up with his warm load. Y/N's head rolled back, her mouth dropping as they rode their high together for the fourth time that night.

Y/N collapsed on Liam's chest as the both tried to catch their breaths. Y/N slowly slid out of Liam before lying next to him on the bed. Liam's arms snaked around her bare lower back, bringing her to him. She cuddled against him, her cheek resting on his chest and her eyes fluttering close as she traced random shapes in the middle of his tight chest.

"Was that okay?" Liam whispered. Y/N heard the nervousness in his voice. She chuckled. "How can you doubt yourself, Dunbar? We just finished our fourth round."

Liam's lips formed a small smile before he kissed the top of her forehead. "I just want to make sure it was okay."

"It was more than okay. I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner," she giggled. "Although, I have no idea how you're going to explain to your parents we broke your bed."

Liam chuckled as he remembered Y/N let out a small yelp when one of the bed legs broke in the middle of their second round. "I'll just tell them we were jumping on the bed."

"Sure, jumping. They'll believe that," she laughed. "I do feel bad about breaking the bed, though."

"Don't worry about it. Tonight," Liam sighed in content, "was perfect."

Y/N stiffened in Liam's arms with his words. It felt like sleeping together meant something so much more for Liam than just helping his best friend with her heat problem.

"Liam..." she looked at him, only to see him already staring at her.

"I love you."

She swallowed hard. "I love you too. You're my best friend."

He shook his head. "No, I love you, Y/N."

"Damn it," she whispered under her breath as she quickly unraveled from his embrace. She wrapped the bed sheets around her naked body and began collecting her clothes around his room. "Fuck, Liam!"

He leaned up on his elbows as he watched her walk around her room. "What?" He quickly put on his boxers.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. This was just supposed to be just two best friends-"

"Would it be so bad if we were more than best friends?" He asked as he stood in front of her. He reached out for her arm. "Y/N, I've been in love with you for as long as I could remember... don't you feel what I feel? Tell me you feel the same way..."

Y/N saw the fear in his eyes and heard his heart racing with anxiety as she stood there, trying to figure out what to say. She hated herself for being so oblivious. She should have noticed his heart skipping a beat every time she touched him. She should have sense the sudden change of his chemosignals when she was around him. She should have known the long looks, the nervousness, and flushed cheeks she caused. Maybe if she had noticed it, she would have figured out a way to keep her best friend from falling in love with her.

"I'm sorry. I don't. Had I known, I wouldn't have agreed to do this in the first place. I would have picked someone else to be sleep with." Y/N quickly slid her top back on, shimmied on her underwear and skirt before she grabbed her mom's keys.

"Y/N... please don't go," Liam begged. "Stay."

"I'm sorry, Liam, but I don't love you, at least not the same way you love me. You were just supposed to be a fuck buddy, nothing more," she said before she slipped on her shoes and left a heartbroken Liam in his bedroom.

Liam looked away from his stepfather as the memory faded, trying to ignore the pain Y/N caused over a month ago. "I told her I loved her and she didn't feel the same way."

Dr. Geyer let out a deep sigh. "That's tough son, but you shouldn't have snapped at her."

"I know, dad," Liam let out a deep sigh. "It still hurts and I'm still mad at how we left things. It's complicated."

"So uncomplicated." He shook his head as if that wasn't important. "What matters is what you want. What do you want, son?"

Liam looked at his father. He never really thought about what he wanted. He was too shocked about the news, too angry with Y/N, and worried what his stepfather would think about Liam getting a girl pregnant in high school.

"I want my best friend back," Liam answered.

"Then go back to apologize and be there for her. That's how you'll get her back. What else?"

Liam let out another deep sigh. "And I want my kid to have a dad, the kind that I have if we give up the baby for adoption. If we keep it, I don't want to be like my father and never be a part of my kid's life. I want to be there for my kid."

Dr. Geyer pulled Liam in for a hug. "So tell her that. Talk to her and see what she wants too. Decide together what you want and think is best for your child. Then, I promise you, your mother and I will be there for you and support your decisions."

"Thanks, dad," Liam mumbled as he hugged his stepfather back.

"I know it's kind of late, but I really do think you should go see Y/N."

"You're right. I have to fix this," Liam said as he walked out of his bedroom and back towards Scott's house.

*****

"Can we talk... again?" Liam asked when Y/N opened Scott's front door. Y/N just stared at him with an angry look on her face, wondering if she should give him another chance to talk after the things he said earlier. She crossed her arms tight to her chest, waiting for him to apologize. He swallowed hard. "Can we go inside and talk?"

Y/N shook her head and closed the door behind her. "Mama McCall will kill you if you're inside the house. You're not welcome."

Liam flinched. "That's understandable."

"Liam, how could you?"

Liam sighed as he looked down at his shoes. "I'm sorry-"

"Sorry, isn't going to fix things."

"I know," his shoulders dropped low.

"Do you have any idea how long it'll take for Scott, his mom, and me to forgive you for nearly killing Scott?"

Liam's head snapped up, completely confused. He thought they were talking about his reaction to her news, not for hurting Scott. "Wait. What? I thought we were talking about the... you know?" He pointed at her stomach, unable to say the word.

"No! I'm talking about what you did, Liam. What the hell were you thinking?"

Liam shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Liam-"

"Y/N. I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it." Y/N heard the seriousness in his voice, but the look in his eyes was filled with guilt. She knew it pained him to talk about what he did. Although he was sorry for what he did, he wasn't ready to talk about it just yet.

"I want to talk about us..." he trailed.

"I don't want to talk if you're going to be mean again," Y/N bit her lip.

Liam sighed and took a step towards her. She took a step back. "Do you think I would actually hurt you?" Liam's voice was above a whisper and filled with hurt.

"I don't know," Y/N whispered back. "I never thought you'd hurt Scott."

Liam hated himself for doing this to himself. He knew it would take forever to get everyone to trust him again. It's not something to easily forgive about, but Liam knew he had to make things right, starting with Y/N.

"Y/N... are you okay?"

She stared at him as tears began to form in her eyes. "No. I'm scared."

Liam let out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding. "I am, too. So I can't imagine how you feel."

"I- " Y/N voiced cracked as her throat tightened. "I don't know what to do about this without you," she mustered.

"Why didn't you come to me as soon as you found out? We could have decided what to do together instead of feeling alone in all of this."

"I did! I tried to... " Y/N trailed for a second.

"When?"

"When you were with Hayden... telling her you'd be there her and I wasn't your best friend anymore." More warm tears rolled down to her cheeks. Liam sighed, feeling even guiltier than before. Although he had no idea at the time, he should have picked his words more carefully knowing she would hear him with her werewolf hearing.

"Okay, we have options," Liam said sitting down on the front porch. Y/N looked down at him, debating weather to sit with him or not. He looked up at her and locked his worried blue eyes with hers, begging her to give him a chance. She slowly sat down next to him. Liam didn't move, too afraid if he reached for her hand, scooted next to her, or hugged her, she would move away from him.

"Have you thought about your options?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I honestly didn't think about them until my parents brought them up."

"Y/N, did your parents kick you out because you're pregnant?" He asked carefully, not sure if that was a topic she was ready to talk about.

She nodded her as a tear rolled down her cheeks. She took in a shaky breath before she spoke, "umm, they said I was a disgrace to the family. They asked if I was going to get rid of it and then said if I wasn't, they wanted nothing to do with me."

"Damn," Liam said completely stunned. He saw how hurt she was. Despite her parents never being around and being workaholics, she did love them. He knew the things they said and did to her, hurt her. He was thankful his stepfather didn't react the same way her parents did.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." Liam whispered. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her to let her know they would figure something out and everything would be okay, regardless how hard it may be.

"I just- I don't know what to do other than I know I do not want to have an abortion," she said between sniffles. "When my mom asked me that, I was so shocked she was okay with the idea of killing an innocent life – let alone her grandchild. Granted, I know it's not here yet, but it's still alive. It has a heartbeat."

Liam nodded, agreeing with her and felt relieved she wasn't having an abortion. "What about adoption?" He asked.

Although he was never in the foster system, the day his stepfather legally adopted him as his son, it was one of the best days Liam ever had. His family was complete. He wanted that for his child. He wanted his child to have the best parents and home possible. Being juniors in high school, it was hard to know if they could give their child the best life it deserves. However, if they decided to keep it, he would do his damn hardest to give his kid the best life possible.

"I thought about it while I was staying here for a few days. I though that's what I wanted, because we're only 16. We can't raise a baby in high school..." she trailed.

Liam knew there was more to that sentence considering how she left it hanging. "But...?" He whispered, too scared to know what she was going to say next.

"But when Melissa took me to the hospital earlier to confirm it, I changed my mind."

"What changed?"

"I heard our baby's heartbeat, Liam, and it was the most magical thing I've ever heard. It was so fast and loud. It was real." Liam saw a light sparking in her eyes as she spoke. She was happy, excited, and filled with so much love. "Is it crazy?" She asked.

"What?" He asked unsure what she meant.

"That I want to keep it?" She whispered.

"Not at all. If you want to keep it, then you have to know I want to be involved. I want to be in my kid's life," Liam said honestly, desperate to reach out for her hand and let her know how serious he was.

She nodded, understanding completely. "I knew you would be. That's why it made my decision a little bit easier knowing I wouldn't be doing this by myself."

"You did?" Liam asked surprised.

She nodded. "I knew you wouldn't want to be like your real father and more like your stepfather, um, dad," she corrected herself, knowing Liam referred Dr. Deyer as his dad.

Tears finally escaped from Liam's eyes as he realized she was the only one who understood him completely. Y/N could sense all of the overwhelming feelings radiating from Liam. She leaned in and hugged him. He clung on to her, as they both cried together. They missed each other dearly and their lives were about to change forever.

"Liam?" She whispered, before she buried her face in his neck, still hugging him tight.

He tightened his arms around her as he leaned his cheek on top of her head. "Yeah?" He whispered back.

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

"Promise me you'll be there for me?"

"Every step of the way," he promised. "It's going to be hard, but we can do it. We're going to be okay," he kissed her forehead. Her muscles relaxed at his comforting words, realizing he was right. Everything was going to be just fine.

DIVE Part 3

Hey Lovebugs! 

Thank you for baring with me yesterday! I just had a long day, and the BEST time at RAW! 

Please enjoy this chapter you guys, I don’t know how long I’ll keep this going, but as long as you guys enjoy it, I guess I’ll keep writing!

Let me know what you all think! <3

Taglist:  @wrestlingbabe @caramara3 @alexahood21 @blondekel77 @isawthesights 

“Oh my God.” Seth breathed, his mouth forming into what can only be described as a confused smile. “Ella…I–I can’t believe you’re here.”

I nodded, “Neither can I.” Part of me wanted to embrace him, to have him pull me into his arms, and kiss me like he used to. But my memories were with the old Seth, I no longer knew the man that stood in front of me.

I cleared my throat. “Seth, just please stop. You’re causing a scene for no reason. I’m the one who asked Hunter not to let you know I was here.” I spoke as sternly as I could, despite my trembling voice.

He scoffed, “I’m causing a scene?!” Seth’s raised his voice again, “You knew I was gonna be around, so why are you even here? I thought you stopped coming to work because of me in the first place!”

Oh hell no. This son of a bitch is not going to have an attitude with me, he as no right.

“Not that its any of your concern, but I came back because Hunter asked me two. He and Steph offered me a job, and I took it.”

Seth opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by HHH, “May I suggest the two of you finish this conversation in my office. These sort of things should be discussed in private, Ella.”

I shoved my hands in the pocket of my sweatshirt, thankful for the bagginess of it, and placed them on my stomach. The baby was wiggling around like crazy, it always did when ever my blood pressure started to rise.

Seth threw the door open and walked inside, Hunter stopped me before I entered. “You need me, just yell.”

I nodded and walked into the office. Seth had perched himself against the desk, arms crossed, eyes locked on me.

HHH closed the door, and then it was just he and I. Something that used to feel so normal was now the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

I kept my gaze on Seth as he began to pace the length of the room. He punched the filing cabinet, and while it looked like it hurt, it seemed to help him calm down. He moved his way back over to the desk and let out a few breaths before speaking.

“How are you?” Seth asked, his tone much calmer now that he didn’t have to act macho.

I sighed. “I’m fine. Not that you actually care, but I am.”

“Don’t say that, you know I care about you.” He sounded offended.

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “Really, Seth? That’s the line you’re going with? Pretty sure when you care about someone–”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “Ya know what, I don’t even wanna get into that.”

Lie.

“I’m over it.”

Lies again.

Seth let his arms drop to his sides as he let out a chuckle. “Exactly what about this situation do you find funny?!” I said flustered.

“Nothing, Els. You just–well you still tap your foot when you lie.” He motioned to my moving right foot. “Dammit…” I mumbled.

A moment of silence passed between us as he stared at me. I did my best to ignore his gaze, but to be honest, I haven’t looked into his eyes in so long they almost hypnotized me.

Seth’s gaze drifted to the floor before he spoke, “Why did you come back? The real answer. Not the one you’ve been telling everyone.” Seth said pushing himself off the desk. “Better yet, why did you leave? You just up and vanished.”

I flopped myself on the couch, “No offense, Seth but I didn’t exactly owe you an explanation. I still don’t.”

Seth looked down and nodded. “So that’s it then? Is you’re plan to ignore me completely until you retire, or decide to disappear again?”

I sighed, “No, not exactly. I just–”

He ran his hands through his hair, then back over his face. “Ella, I thought it was my fault.”

I looked at him confused. Obviously I didn’t leave cause he cheated on me, but Seth seemed to think that was the case. He sounded almost…guilty.

“I asked anyone who would know anything and no one told me shit. Hunter stopped taking meetings with me that weren’t about business. I even offered to go to Smackdown if it would help you get back here.”

I stood slowly from the couch, “Why would you do that?”

Seth approached me slowly, “Because I know I hurt you, Ella. I didn’t want to be the cause of anymore pain in your life.”

I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest. Is he acknowledging what he did? “I appreciate that.” I said trying to sound as casual as I could, but all that was about to fly out the window.

I spoke suddenly, but softly. “I have something to tell you.”

He looked puzzled, “What is it?”

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, feeling as though I was going to throw up any second. “Please just listen for a sec okay?”

He nodded, and stepped closer to me. “I don’t even know where to begin to tell ya the truth.”

I began to pace, another sign to Seth no doubt that I was nervous. “I just need you to know that I didn’t find out about this until we were over. I was so angry and disgusted with you and I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you back in my life if I’m honest…”

I let out  breath I didn’t know I was holding in, “But I also didn’t want to disrupt your life.”

Seth shook his head in confusion, “Ella, what the fuck is going on?” He asked, sounding genuinely worried. I let out a deep breath and paused for what felt like an eternity.

As Seth’s brown eyes watched me, I slowly lifted the front of my hoodie. I stopped when Seth had a full view of the bump. “I’m a–I’m p-pregnant.”

Seth backed away from me slowly, “Y-you’re what?”

I held my stomach with both hands, “I’m pregnant. About 5 months.”

The color had drained from his face. “5 months…” He mumbled. “Is it–do you–are you sure it’s mine?” He stammered

I scoffed, offended at what he was insinuating, “Last time I checked I wasn’t the unfaithful one in our relationship.”

He stammered about for a moment, before he composed a coherent thought. “For fuck’s sake, Ella!”

He paced in small circles, “You don’t just fucking spring this on someone!”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t think I would ever have see you again! Then I find this out? That the father of my unborn child fucked another woman in the bed and home we shared together?” I felt the emotion welling in my throat, but I pushed it back.

Seth stopped moving and looked at me, “I’m sorry you weren’t the first person I ran to.” I shocked myself with how frankly I was speaking.

“Regardless of what I did, I had a right to know, Ella. Especially something like this! You’re 5 months? Would you ever have told me? Or would you just have given birth and kept me in the dark.” Seth sounded so hurt. Now it was me that was feeling guilty.

“That is my kid too. You should have told me the second you found out.” His voice trembled on those last words.

He was right. I sighed and sat back down on the edge of the couch. “You’re right. I’m sorry for that, but honestly can you blame me? Every time I thought about you, I wanted to throw up. I almost sold the house, because every thing, every room in it reminded me of you! I hated you, I think part of me still hates you.”

I sighed, “I didn’t think you’d want to be involved. I thought you just run when you found out.”

Seth flopped down next to me, “Ella I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you. But you know me, how could you think I would ever abandon you because of this?”

“Seth I knew you, I don’t know you anymore. You’re at a totally different place in you’re life than I am. I’m ready to be a parent, I’ve accepted it. I also prepared myself to be single parent if I had to.”

“You won’t have too.” He spoke quickly. “When we were together, we knew we would want kids someday. Granted it’s not the most traditional way of doing it, but we were never exactly traditional, Els.”

Seth grabbed my hand, causing me to flinch for a moment. “Ella I promise, whatever you need, I’ll be there. Not just for this–” He gestured to the bump, “But I’ll be there for you.”

I smiled at him, “Thank you, Seth.” I couldn’t believe Seth was being so caring. He made me feel so instantly comfortable. Now, here’s to hoping I can trust him again some day.

I slowly rubbed my bump. “Do you know what it is yet?” Seth questioned.

I laughed, “No actually, I haven’t wanted to know yet. But I do have a doctors appointment next month. Maybe I should have them tell me there, I am kinda sick of referring to him or her as ‘it’.”

He paused before he spoke, “Would you mind if I went with you?” He asked hopeful. I turned to see his eyes staring back into mine.

A smile spread across my face, “I would actually really like that.”

Seth laughed comfortably. He shifted his body so his chest was towards me, “Can–Can I hug you?”

My heart skipped a beat at the hopefulness in his voice, “Y-yes. Yeah, you can.”

He wrapped his strong arms around me slowly, I felt myself melt into his hug. I’ve forgotten what it felt like to he held by someone, it’s been so long.

I inhaled his scent, it was so unbelievably comforting, Seth jumped back suddenly. “Whoa! What was that?”

“What? This?” I asked, grabbing his hand and placing it on my stomach. The baby was kicking like crazy! Seth’s face lit up, and he had that big cheesy smile on his face.

“Oh my God. That’s crazy.” He brought his other hand to my stomach and placed it on it. “Hey little one…” My head shot up as I heard Seth speak to my stomach. “It still doesn’t feel real. I don’t know why I’m so happy.” Seth said smiling ear to ear.

I nodded, “Welcome to my world, dude.” He laughed with me.

“I know this doesn’t change things, but I’m really glad you’re here, Ella. And this, well this is just icing on the cake.”

My soft smile hid the inner turmoil my emotions were putting me through. I hated this man. Everything he did to me, how he broke me, and how he ruined what was the best time in my life by being so selfish.

“I have to go get ready for my match but if you need me, come find me. Anything you need, I’m here okay Els?”

I nodded, “Go kick some ass…”

“Hey! No swearing in front of the baby!” He joked, I laughed lightly as I rolled my eyes.

But I still have some kind of love for him. The baby is making it hard not too, but I couldn’t be in love with him again.

—

I opened my hotel room door after getting to the next town. I was so exhausted from being on my feet all night. I laid in bed, only to have a knock at my door not 10 seconds later.

“Uggghhhh!” I groaned out loud.

I opened my door to see no one there, but a bouquet of white tulips on the floor beneath me. I bent down, (and I’m using that term loosely) and grabbed them when I noticed the note.

I unfolded the envelope to see Seth’s handwriting as my eyes began to skim the note.

Hey Ella-Bella…

I hope you made the trip okay, I asked Nia to swap and let me ride with you, but she wasn’t having it.

You know I’m not that great with my words so I figured if I wrote them down it might sound a little better.

I am so unbelievably sorry for what I did to us, and to you.

I know I hurt you more than words can express, but you have to believe me when I say that I didn’t do it because I didn’t love you. I loved you more than anything in my life. I still do.

I know it will bring up a lot of pain, and a lot of hurt. But please let me explain myself to you. It might not change things, but I need to get this off my chest.

Let me know, you know where to find me.

         -Seth

My eyes welled with tears as I let out a sob. Can I deal with all of this again? I don’t know.

But I guess I’m about to find out.

haze

​thanks to the anon who requested fluff, you ask and I deliver. 

enjoy! 

oh and I posted yesterday that after sunday I won’t be writing til July due to exams coming up very soon and lots of deadlines. so if you have a request please ask now rather than wait etc :) 

Life often throws challenges at you, some come in the form of accidents, money, relationships etc. But for me, mine came in the form of my flatmate skipping out on me leaving just about enough rent for the next two months and a letter or to be more accurate a note- 'off with Jamie to New Zealand, hope this'll do, nice knowing ya x'

That was it. After just under two years of being room mates, sure we weren't that close but I thought we had a substantial room mate vibe going on. Jamie's not a bad guy, she could do a lot worse. On the plus side I won't have to listen to them going at it like wired rabbits at 1-3 nearly every morning.

Unsure what to do I collapse down on the sofa and ring the one person who knows what to do in any form of situation: my trusted mum. After half an hour of comments on how she never liked my ex roommate and how I could do better than her (which felt as if I had told her I’d gone through a breakup) I was well advised to put an advert up. The following afternoon having only been awake half an hour, since I had the luxury of not being disturbed all night I embraced the quiet, rather than moans I sat down in front of my laptop and began to write my advert.

Roughly four hours later I received multiple responses, most of which were men asking to film ‘entertainment’ videos online- to which I gladly declined. I continued to search through the responses for a while until I finally found one who actually filled the form out in full, giving serious answers. Smiling at the sight of the description I immediately typed out a reply, asking to meet them tomorrow. Once I had sent it I relaxed into the sofa, only to glance around and see how much of a pigsty the place had become.

The next day the flat was spotless, I had sprayed far too much febreze to maintain consciousness but it didn’t matter, first impressions were what mattered the most. A light knock motioned that he was here, the time to put the face to the description and name. Opening the door I had a prepared smile, but as I saw him it faltered. How can a man have all of these qualities, and handsome? Somehow he managed it, effortlessly.

Tortoise rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose, distorting those bright blue eyes, the colour I’d think back to as summer growing up with a touch of the unknown. He lowered his head as he pulled out a scrap of paper, muttering my name in a question. We both remained quiet as I welcomed him in, his eyes observing the open space through the doorway separating two ways to the bedrooms and bathroom. 

We sat down, opposite each other separated by my glass table, neatly organised piles of books and marble coasters. The continuous silence between us was unnerving and being the one in charge I spoke up, asking a series of questions to which he answered honestly and with a good sense of humour. It was going well, until I could hear my Mum’s most requested question blurt out of my mouth, “So are you in a relationship?” The confused blind look he wore in his eyes at my question, he didn’t respond, instead just remained flustered. “I like knowing in advance so I can purchase noise cancelling headphones.” 

His response was what sold it, the reason he now lives in the room opposite mine approximately 56 steps away. He leant forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, “If I ever do, I’ll buy you them myself.” 

* 

“Dan?!” Yelling from my room I sit upside down, a pair of heavy feet approach me and I hear an exasperated sigh. 

In front of me he knelt down, raising an eyebrow. “Why am I not even surprised.” He joked and joined me, the two of us sitting upside down in silence. “Everything alright?” Turning my head to look at him I chuckled at the sight of his hair hanging down, just brushing the floor like a mop. 

“I’m not sure what to do about tonight.” Groaning I sit back up, letting the blood rush away from my head. Within a second Dan sits opposite me, clearly comfortable amongst my assortment of cushions. 

Closing his eyes he stayed quiet as the dizziness passed him by. “Well for starters you’re coming out with me and the guys.” He nudged me with a goofy grin, his eyes reflecting joy. 

“But I’m so tired, I didn’t get in until 4 last night.” I exclaim and collapse down into my soft pillows. 

Lying there staring at the artex I feel a change in weight, Dan lies next to me and pokes my nose. “It’ll be a few hours, some drinks.” He tries to convince me. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen.” 

If I knew what would go down, I’m not entirely sure if I’d thank him for convincing me or punch him or making me join him. Probably both.

“Fine I’ll go.” He punches the air in success and rolls off of the bed, nearing the door. “But just a few drinks, okay?” I yell as he hovers in the doorway, waving me off and leaving me to get ready. 

Walking down to the bar the faint sound of music brought back fond memories. The first time all of our friends met, all of us bonding and getting drunk together. I remember vaguely stroking Kyles beard and wanting to plait it, unfortunately that never happened. “Like old times, isn’t it?” I speak up as I wrap my arms around his, resting my head on his shoulder as we walk. 

“Yeah, it is isn’t it?” He glances down to me and smiles, the same smile he wore when I first met him. The same smile he gives me whenever I wake up and wander into the main space, stagger towards the kitchen.

As the two of us walk inside immediately we hear cheers, turning to our left Kyle stands on a table in a half empty bar clearly pissed before we had a chance to join. “If it isn’t the love birds.” He slurs his words as Woody tries to force him down with little luck. 

Will walks over to us, offering to buy a round which we gladly accept, I mean it’s just one drink right? Wrong, it was several. 

Unable to stand without support me and Kyle continued to laugh at the most stupid things, Dan was in a different booth as he was in a marginally better state than I was. “So you know, like you two.” He raised his eyebrows to me to which I just stared at. 

Taking a swig of my drink I shook it off, “You know we’re just friends, always have been.” I flap my hands about in front of his face. “He is not my lobster.” Doing the same action as best as I can that Phoebe did he just chuckles, lowering my hands on my behalf. 

“But you two are like a couple without admitting or having sex. You’re the emotional stuff without the active stuff.” I shook my head as he tried to convince me otherwise. Looking over to Dan he was facing me, that smile on his face amongst the two day stubble which I secretly prefered. 

As he turned away and his attention went back to a friend the smile disappeared, “Ah.” Kyle muttered in my ear. “Now you see the smile?” Chuckling I began to gather my senses, “And the penny drops?” 

“Has he always done that?” I exclaim louder than intended and he nods in response. “Right then.” Flipping my hair out of my face I go to stand up and walk over, but as I go to stand a sudden realisation hits me as I’m land on my ass. I haven’t stood up in an hour and drank too much. 

As I sat staring up Kyle remained in full laughter whilst I saw a pair of beaten up converse in front of me. “Come on you.” He muttered helping me up. 

Resting my hands on his shoulders his relaxed at my waist. As I stared at him I could see how blue his eyes were under the off lights, how they quickly moved analysing mine. “Are we going home now?” I yawn loudly. 

“I think that’s wise.” He laughs lightly and helps me out. Waving back to Kyle he just points at us, then does the lobster making me smile. 

Walking home the bitter air bites at my exposed skin, shivering I can feel the effects of the booze wear off slightly. The two of us walk in silence as Dan keeps his arm around my waist, hugging me close even though it isn’t necessary. 

Reaching our front door he fiddles with the keys and the door creaks, swinging open. As I stumble in after him I silently dance around, kicking my shoes off and releasing the few clips holding my hair up. Dan watches with a smile on his face as I dance along to the echos of my giggles, holding a hand out I nod whilst he shakes his head. “I’m not taking no for an answer tonight, Smith.” Reaching out I grab his hand but he pulls me close to him. 

The mood instantly changes. I can hear a soft piano playing as I bore into his eyes, the rippling innocence amongst the care. “I’d be lost without you.” He mutters as I blink, then rest my head in the crook of his neck. The faint smell of the aftershave I got him as a Christmas present as his stubble scratches my jawline. 

“I’d be homeless. Or worse, living with my parents again.” I joke resulting in a light laugh to sound, his shoulders rising and falling gently. 

Lifting my head up my eyes lock with his, the two of us pause. The piano begins to fade, the faint melody rising. Glancing between his eyes and lips neither of us stop, my lips meet his as if it were meant to be. 

*

Groaning I struggle to open my eyes or move, as I try to lift my arm I can feel something stopping it, preventing me from moving. That’s it, game over I thought to myself as I try and recall the events of last night. Everything is too hazy, I remember falling on my arse and sitting with Kyle; besides that, nothing. 

Taking my time I allow my eyes to adjust to the early morning light and gentle breeze scoping through the window. Looking down I can feel my eyes going wide, an arm. An arm which I see everyday, bare. My heart begins to beat faster as I try and remain calm, failing to do so. Turning as gently as I can spooning me is Dan. 

Unsure how to comprehend I lift the covers up, we are clothed thank god. Sighing in relief I can feel how tight he is hugging me, even when he is fast asleep. I take the time to focus on his sleepy face, how everything relaxes including his smile. A slight frown developing. His forehead remains hidden due to his hair hanging down in strands, unable to stop myself I lift them up, brushing them back.  

His eyes flutter open and I freeze. In seconds I fathom every outcome possible, ranging from him storming out to regretting whatever happened. He wraps his arms around me, a sleepy grin evident. “Mornin’” He mutters as a yawn escapes his lips. 

“Dan, what happened last night.” I quietly ask as I relax in his arms, inches away from his face. 

Eyes scanning mine his face drops, “You don’t remember do you?” His arms retract, leaving me feeling cold. 

“Did I make a fool of myself or something?” Concern laces my words yet he shakes his head. “We, did we do anything.” Stumbling over my thoughts and processing them his eyes flash at mine before returning to focus on the grey fabric. 

“We kissed. Then I helped you get into bed. About half an hour later you kept calling me, demanding I keep you company til you fall asleep.” He stated with little emotion and continued to avoid my gaze. 

Blinking I could hear myself, feel myself stumble in here. I vaguely recall dancing to nothing, his gentle lips on mine and then it becoming more heated, the passion rising. “We kissed.” I stated, a smile forming.

“Do, do you, regret it?” He murmurs, fiddling with the sheets to distract himself. 

Moving closer into his arms I lift his chin up, “Not a single bit.” Kissing him lightly warmth radiates through me. Pulling away he half smiles, too tired to put too much effort into it. “Well maybe getting drunk, I feel like crap.” I mutter and curl back up into his arms, wondering if I’ll ever wake up from this dream. 

Smile Like You Mean It

A/N: Hey so...in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve got something light and happy. My original idea was sad but I figured I needed to try to break out of the depressing stuff, get back on track. Chapter 3 of Our Masterplan is still in the works, I’m honestly just having trouble writing a bunch of filler shit and haven’t been in the right frame of mind for happy stories. SO. Based loosely on Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers (see if you find all the references I painstakingly included lmao), it’s a future fic in Finn’s POV. Hope you enjoy and Happy Valentine’s Day!

You can find my other fics here.

@mmfdfanfic @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @lilaviolet @lau-vm @hey1tskat1e @tinakegg

Let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the tag list and if I missed anyone :)

Smile Like You Mean It

All things considered, I was a pretty laid back bloke. I reckoned I could handle just about anything. For instance, when the local radio station where my wife Rae and I worked got bought out and turned mainstream, we wasted no time in opening our own station and good ol’ No Crap FM was born. Perfect as it turned out, Rae being several months pregnant at the time didn’t help matters. But we made it through together; the station took off and my sweet Aria was born.

Fast-forward sixteen years and my smiley, beautiful baby has transformed into a witty, charming young woman. She reminded me of Rae more and more each day, what with her biting sarcasm and cheeky grin. She could compete nationally in eye-rolling but those same eyes, that matched mine almost perfectly, could sparkle and shine with every mood. Unlike Rae and I both, Aria wore her emotions on her sleeve, something I was in constant turmoil over. What the bloody hell was I supposed to do when some knobhead broke her heart and her anguish showed plain as day on her face? I couldn’t stand even the thought.

***

“Well, what’s the boy’s name? We didn’t go to school with his parents, did we? Oh god, he’s Stacey’s son, isn’t he. Don’t sugar coat it, Rae, tell me straight out.”

Rae just gave me a amused glance, continuing cooking dinner. How could she be so calm at a time like this?

“His name is Jonathan and from what Aria’s told me, he’s just moved here with his mum and is in her year,” she replied, stirring a pot slowly. She turned the heat on low and covered it, turning to me and smirking.

“She’s also informed me that he’s got auburn hair and dark blue eyes and a million freckles and could play footy in his sleep,” Rae continued, fluttering her lashes and sighing dreamily. I rolled my eyes, my stomach twisting.

“Sounds like a wanker,” I countered, my brows furrowing. She smiled and stepped closer, running her fingers across my forehead and smoothing the lines.

“Be careful your face doesn’t get stuck like that, you know you’ve only got one,” she said cheekily. Before I could respond, the doorbell rang.

“Now, go get the door and call for Aria. Dinner will be ready in a bit.” 

I nodded with a grimace, heading for the front door. Aria appeared at the top of the stairs. My jaw dropped. This girl was gonna be the death of me.

“How do I look, Daddy?” she chirped, eyes shimmering. I could hear a slight waver in her voice and I sighed with a smile.

“You look beautiful, babygirl.”

She grinned before bounding down the stairs, her knee length skirt waving. She wore a light sleeveless top, a necklace resting along her sternum. My chest constricted.

“You’re wearing a sweater, right? A parka, perhaps?” She just laughed to my dismay.

“Quick, answer the door! And don’t let him see me, I have to make an entrance,” she exalted shortly, practically buzzing with anticipation. She bounced into the kitchen, and I vaguely heard Rae praising her loudly. I went to the door and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“Mr. Nelson! So great to meet you, I’m Jonny,” he beamed, holding out his hand to shake. I crossed my arms, looking him over. His red hair was styled messily, wearing a navy blue button up t-shirt and light jeans. His hand stayed in place for a few seconds before wavering under my scrutiny and running through his hair with a shaky laugh. I attempted a smile, stepping back out of the doorway.

“C’mon in, kid,” I murmured. I clapped a hand on his shoulder roughly as he entered, smirking as he winced, giving me a weak grin. 

“Aria! Your date’s here!” I called out, screaming internally. Date.

“Be right there!”

We stood in silence for a moment, Jonny looking around the room casually while I tried not to shove him back out the door. I watched the kid as he wiped his palms on his jeans and cleared his throat. The kitchen door swung open and Rae walked out, giving me a warning look before smiling widely at Jonny.

“You must be Jonathan, Aria’s told us so much about you.”

I barely contained my scoff.

“All good things I hope,” Jonny quipped with a nervous smile. Rae chuckled and shook his hand.

“You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Nelson,” he continued, glancing around the room again. Rae beamed and I rolled my eyes heavenward. What a bloody charmer.

“Oh, call me Rae, Mrs. Nelson is so stuffy,” she laughed before giving me a meaningful look. I shot her a side-glance.

“Mr. Nelson will do, boy,” I muttered, Rae smacking my arm with an eyeroll. Aria entered the room seconds later, her grin a little too wide to be genuine. I could see her nerves clear in her movements. The kid swallowed hard, exhaling sharply.

“You look stunning,” Jonny croaked, Aria blushing deeply. He raised his arms as if to hug her and I caught his eye, glaring daggers. He slumped slightly, Aria looking disappointed.

“Ready to go?”

Aria nodded and gave Rae a quick hug before turning to me. I hoped my distress didn’t show too clear.

“Alright, Daddy?” she whispered, hugging me tight. I clung to her, knowing when I let go, she’d go out with that little blighter and I’d lose my little girl forever. I gave her one final squeeze and she pulled away, kissing my cheek. My lips quirked, my heart dropping to my stomach.

“Smile like you mean it, Dad,” Aria winked, exchanging a smirk with Rae. Her and Jonny walked to the door. As Aria opened the front door, Jonny placed his hand on her lower back. Rae’s quick pinch stopped me from lunging forward. I called out desperately.

“Curfew’s at te--” I started, before Rae clapped a hand over my mouth.

“Midnight, have fun, kids!” she finished, waiting until the door closed before removing her hand. I heaved a sigh, dropping to the couch and placing my head in my hands. Rae rubbed my shoulders and kissed my head.

“It’s just a date, Finley. She’s the same age we were when we started,” she said before walking towards the kitchen. I groaned, my nerves growing ten-fold.

“Exactly. I was such a dickhead back then,” I whined, shaking my head. 

“Back then?” she snorted. I scowled and followed her to the kitchen.

“Face it, Finn. She’s growing up. She can’t be your little girl forever,” she said, her tone ending the discussion. She started doling out food onto our plates.

“I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

***

Things have changed since Rae and I were teenagers. We’d spend the summer days trolling Town Records and the chippy and spend the nights watching the sunset out at Rutlands and drinking pints at the Swan. Looking back, life seemed like a dream. 

I remember all those times I’d sneak Rae into my room, Dad being totally oblivious. Or those few times I’d make it into Rae’s room before getting caught by Linda in a flurry of swatting hands and shouted profanities. We’d both get grounded but there I’d be again, climbing the walls up to her window.

I was installing bloody bars on our windows next chance I got.

***

“Mr. Nelson!”

I growled, the chippy’s server giving me a curious glance. I raised my brows at her mockingly and grabbed my food order, turning to the door. If I could just make it back to the car--

“Hey, Mr. Nelson. Fancy seeing you here,” Jonny grinned. I made a small noise of derision. His gaze went down to the large paper bag in my arms.

“Dinner for the family?” he remarked, “I’m just here with my footy mates, big game earlier.”

I nodded, my mouth curling into a sneer. Yes, Aria had spent the entire bloody day enthusing about Jonny and his football prowess before heading off to the game, team colors painted across her cheeks. I opened my mouth to fashion some sort of goodbye when Jonny’s gaze fell to my tattered Oasis t-shirt.

“Aw, man, I love Oasis. One of the best bands ever.”

No fucking way he had any idea about Oasis. This kid was a real piece of work.

“Oh yeah? Favorite album?” I challenged. Jonny seemed to think for a minute.

“Well…”

Yeah, ‘well’ what Jonny-boy?!

“I’d say ‘Definitely Maybe’ since it’s such a classic and my mum raised me on it, but I’m pretty impartial to ‘Be Here Now’. Can’t beat the opening guitar on Don’t Go Away,” he finished.

I almost dropped the bag in shock. Jonny continued, not seeming to notice my dumbfounded stare.

“Aria’s always banging on about the genius of ‘What’s the Story’, can’t say I disagree with that,” he paused before giving me a sly smile, “I’d never cop to it though.”

I let out a short laugh before kicking myself internally. Save some face, Finn, he’s the enemy!

“Anyways, I’d better go, Mr. Nelson. See ya laters!” 

I waved dazedly, turning back to the door and heading home. Fucking unreal.

***

Though my efforts to scare him away were valiant, Jonny stuck around a bit longer than I had anticipated. Blinded by my distrust of him and anxiety over Aria growing up, it took me a long time to accept him into our family circle. But with the help (or rather, coercion) of Rae, I stepped aside a bit and retracted the claws around Jonny more. Before I knew it, the two had been together a full year and then some.

***

“How’s the station going?” Dad asked, pouring tea into cups, handing them to me and Rae. I shrugged, my eyes on Aria and Jonny in the living room looking through Dad’s collection of board games, the christmas tree lighting their faces. Rae elbowed me sharply.

“It’s great, Gary, smooth as always. We’ve had some new artists playing for the holidays so ratings have been up,” she answered, pulling my focus from the kids. Dad shot me a knowing look.

“And how’s Aria? Excited about starting uni?”

Rae nodded enthusiastically, sharing a proud look with me.

“She’s not sure if she wants to go to Bristol like I did or somewhere new, though. She considered taking a year off to travel or start out at the trade school Finn went to, get some experience in something. I know she wants to stay close to Jonny either way, but he’s heading for great things as well, sky’s the limit for them both,” she replied. 

I found myself not instantly fuming at the thought of Jonny staying in Aria’s life. Turned out, he’d been a good influence for her thus far. While my grades dropped when I spent too much time with Rae, Aria and Jonny thrived, both their grades improving as they helped each other in their weak spots. Despite my original thoughts of Jonny being a typical boy with no eye for the future or how to treat my little girl, he was turning out to be quite the young man--a fact Rae wouldn’t let me forget.

“They do seem quite close,” Dad answered, “Reminds me a bit of you two to be honest.”

I choked on my tea. Aria held up a game from across the room.

“Who wants to play?”

***

Before I knew it, Aria started university. She struggled at first, being away from home, but with ongoing support from Rae and I, she made it through. Jonny ended up going to a different school but they remained in touch and honestly, I think his influence helped Aria just as much as mine and Rae’s did. By the time they graduated, my distaste for the boy had lessened considerably.

***

“May I have a quick word, Mr. Nelson?”

My eyes left the grill and met Jonny’s. He shuffled his feet and ran a hand through his hair restlessly. I nodded, handing the spatula to Chop, shrugging in response to his curious look. We walked to the side of the yard where a drink table was set up and I cracked open a beer, handing it to Jonny before opening one for myself. He took a long pull and let out a gusty sigh after. I raised a brow at him.

“What’s got you so keyed up, kid?” I asked, taking a considerably smaller gulp of my own beer. His eyes went across the yard to Aria standing with Rae and Archie, laughing loudly.

“It’s about Aria, sir.”

My eyes narrowed.

“You did something to her?” I asked quietly, stepping closer menacingly. Jonny shook his head roughly, bringing up his hands defensively.

“Oh, no, no, ‘course not, Mr. Nelson, I just…” he trailed off and I clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, out with it, Jonathan, I haven’t seen you this nervous since your first date with her,” I joked. I felt my stomach flop in anticipation. It couldn’t be...

“I know you don’t like me, sir, and that’s cool--”

“I like you just fine, lad.” Now, at least. Only took about 5 years.

“Right...well,” he took a shuddering breath, “I love your daughter very much, and I can’t imagine having a life without her by my side. So, I was wondering, if I could possibly have your blessing to propose marriage to her.”

My world seemed to slow down. I suddenly was assaulted with memories of my own experience asking Karim for his blessing to marry Rae. How out of my mind nervous I was. How difficult it was to bridge the language gap. Jonny sure had this bloody easy.

I stared at Jonny blankly, trying to get my head on straight. I watched a bead of sweat trickle down Jonny’s face, his eyes beseeching. I let a smile play on my face, remembering how much I hated this random boy coming swooping into my only daughter’s life and watching him become a man before my eyes, making Aria infinitely happy along the way. Jonny wavered under my gaze, his face starting to drop. I made my decision.

“Yes.”

His eyes widened.

“Sorry?”

I rolled my eyes, barking a laugh.

“I said yes, knobhead.”

Jonny’s face broke into a grin and he threw his arms around me, nearly knocking me on my arse. I caught eyes with Rae across the yard and she gaped comically at the sight of us hugging, quickly nudging Aria beside her. She smiled widely and her eyes glowed brightly even from this distance. Jonny broke away, still beaming unrestrained.

“Thanks so much, Mr. Nelson.”

I cuffed his shoulder with a smirk.

“It’s Finn.”

***

Of course she said yes. Did I have any doubt she wouldn’t? A year of planning later found us at the town chapel on the big day. I didn’t know who was more nervous--me or Jonny.

***

“Fuck, I’m gonna be sick.”

I stifled a grin and tried to look sympathetic.

“You’re fine. We practiced this whole thing yesterday. You love her. Piece of cake,” I reassured him. His eyes met mine frantically.

“What if she changes her mind?” he spluttered, pacing the hall. I couldn’t help my snort.

“Well, she’s paying me back with interest, for one. This show didn’t come cheap, I’ll tell you that,” I replied, grinning at the glare and terse, ‘Not helping, Finn,’ I received. I checked my watch and braced his shoulders.

“Lemme tell you something, Jonathan. I consider myself a pretty laid back bloke, even if I didn’t seem that way when we first met. I reckon at this point in life I can handle just about anything, though you coming along made me question that. But now, I’ve realized you’re the best thing that could’ve happened in my daughter’s life and I’m sure you feel the same about her. I know you love her and you’ll make her happy,” I imparted. He smiled, his eyes growing glazed.

“Now, you got a wedding to have, get on out there,” I pulled him into a quick hug, feeling tears well up in my own eyes. Jonny bobbed his head in a nod, and sauntered off into the main hall to stand at the altar. I swiped at my eyes and made my way down the hall to the bride’s room. I knocked on the door, breathing deep. Rae opened the door, smile seeming permanently fixed. I smiled back.

“Looking good, girl,” I murmured before looking past her into the room at Aria. My heart skipped a beat.

“How do I look, Daddy?”

Déjà vu washed over me and I sighed in a small sob.

“You look beautiful, babygirl.”

Aria beamed, smoothing her hands over her dress. Rae kissed her cheek and hugged her tight, before leaving the room. I offered my arm, a tear making its way down my cheek. She swiped it away and took a trembling breath.

“I’m bricking it, Dad. How’s he doing? Is he gonna back out?”

I shook my head with a chuckle.

“He’s nervous but excited. Happy. Same as you.”

She nodded and we made our way to the doors. We stood in position and I turned to her. She gave me one of her famous looks that showed each and every emotion she was feeling. Intense nerves but supreme happiness. I kissed her cheek and waggled my brows at her.

“Now, smile like you mean it, Aria.”

As a 21 year old often does, I live with a good friend of mine in our ( first 😄🎉) apartment. Box dinners are definitely a thing and we've accepted that's how life goes- for now, until we become rich and famous. (Slowly) I have to say, I never thought I'd smell Red Barron's French style pizza again, but believe me, that's a smell I could never forget. I was fed those often as a kid, and I could never really get away from the vision of my mom holding a, very large, knife to her throat after serving me one while screaming at me, (whilst I was very comfortable on my dad's recliner, watching "Hey Arnold", which side, side note- I often follow this up with a "how rude to interrupt my show!", but people don't take humor very well under these topics- but whatever), "DO YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA CUT?" I was around 6 years old- I am a little girl that wasn't allowed to go outside often, or have visitors, or.. visit. My dad didn't want me to go to church, and I couldn't eat sugar. They allowed me to eat one candy bar on Halloween, and we threw the rest away: THINK OF THE CHOCOLATE, YOU MONSTERS 😢 So 2001 rolls around and they buy me the ps2 the second it drops- That and Girls Gone Wild commercials are my favorite things at this time. I was born in (Place A), of (State A) and then moved to (Place Bumfuck), of (State of Bumfucks) to this lady that looked like the world danced around her (it really just shit on her) and a dude who was so old I think I saw Jesus in his highschool yearbook. Btw, His brother looks like the green river killer, and was born around the same time, living only two states away from each other. They're both creeps- my uncle would physically and verbally hit on my mom, even infront of his own wife- uh, fucked dude. NEXT! A little more about my family: My dad's parents were both born in the 1800s. Late af 1800s, but still. I don't really know much about them, just that my grandma had some possibly genetic heart problem that caused her heart to "explode" (their words) whilst they were doing open heart surgery. His dad had a heart attack, My dad had 4 different heart surgeries. (Exciting, huh?) Other than that, I have his service flag- but no records of his service. He was a strange guy from my observations, but my mom said he was ladies man. He went from broke af and living in a basement to being a college professor and at some point played for a pro baseball team. My mom is from a liter of 22+ children, We shall call my mom's parents Mr. And Mrs. G, very similar to the characters from a really awesome tv show- Shameless.. I hope that's not infringing or anything, it's just very relatable in some cases, Mr. G was a construction worker that moved his family randomly from state to state, he enjoyed drinking heavily, and probably left a slew of children with different women along the way, Mrs. G, well I'm not quite sure what she did, but my mom and her sibilings figured out her mom had a kid on average every 11 months. I never met her, she passed away almost 20 years before I came along, but they tell me she lit up the room. She also enjoyed drinking heavily- infact, she could take down any dude at the bar I've heard lol. My mom and her siblings were mostly on their own, their parents were often passed out or fighting. The cops were over more often than not and Mr. G was very abusive to his wife and the 9 ish kids they kept. There was only one kid he wouldn't hit, the youngest son. His other son was gay and he hated it, and another was in the military. Unfortunately, his squad was blown up infront of him during combat and ultimately he took his own life after dealing with ptsd and violent flashbacks that lead to my mom getting a severe skull fracture when she was younger. My mom had stories of her siblings slicing her with knives, countless stories of breaking her head open, and even more on her drunken father almost killing them. .. and tons of other life experiences I just can't comprehend. When my mom was 14, she had two best friends who were twins. Before a fun holiday, they were planning a class party so my mom was going to head over to their house that day. On the way home, my mom changed her mind and went home instead. By the time she got home, there was a story on the news of two twin girls aged 14 walking into their house after getting off the bus from school and immediately getting shot and killed by their father- who just shot their mom, and then turned gun on himself. My mom had a brother who thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, so when she was in the garage, he beat her with a hammer and killed himself. My mom had a friend who got shot by stray bullets fired at a ceremony they were attending. My mom was the smartest one of the bunch, I think. One sister ate dirt pies all day, and stole my mom's identity when I was young, and then stood on the opposite side of the street as our house and just stared. Unfortunately, the drugs caught up with her, a vein (or something) in her neck burst, even though they controlled it, she still didn't make it. Unfortunately though, she still had a really big heart and I think that got her in trouble. My mom dated a guy when she was 18 who ended up raping her and she had my sister because of it. She and my sister were best friends and my grandma loved to take care of her while my mom was on college (she was the first and only to graduate). My grandma passed away shortly after, leaving my mom to raise her two youngest siblings and my sister, while trying to go to med school- already dirt poor. She quickly gave up on becoming a doctor which she had always dreamed of. She's never said she regrets any of it, she definitely doesn't regret raising her siblings and my sister - but I think she wonders what it would be like. Which honestly saddens me to think my mom didn't live up to her own dreams. I often try to get her to go back to school because she is a gifted, beautiful soul that could do alot, but I think over time all the people that didn't believe in her or controlled or abused her rotted her brain in a sense. That's why life scares me sometimes. My dad didn't allow my mom to talk to her family often, or really do anything of her own. When I was born she stayed at home, she cleaned the house, literally all ducking day I have no idea how she did it, but she'd have on her makeup and her heels and her pencil skirts, and she's just be vacuuming the life out of every nook and cranny she could find. She cooked for us, and it was awesome. She smoked exactly 3 cigarettes a day, and I looked forward to them. Morning, lunch, and night. I think I'll always enjoy the smell of a cigarette in the crisp State A air. (Or really any air, for that matter) She went to the casino sometimes and also came home really drunk. She would force me to dance on her toes with her to "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aquilara, but she'd always try to sing it and her breath was terrible. One night, I disinctly remember her blowing up my air balloons with me, and she kept popping them in my face. It scared me and now they always scare me. My parents got in a argument one time at the top of the stairs, my dad pushed her down and then sat on top of her. She was screaming at me to call 911 but I didn't have the phone. My grandpa got cancer when I was in the 2nd grade, my mom wanted to take me out to see him (i had only met him a once at a casino) but my dad refused and while my mom was out of state visiting him my dad went to the hospital and his brother dropped my off at these strangers house with a trash bag of clothes while he stayed at my house and slept in my bed lol. They fed me too many aprocots and I got sick AF dude, in a Walmart bathroom. I'm telling you, I hate hundreds of these things while we played neopets. Turns out later they got arrested for cooking meth. My dad kicked my mom out for two weeks, she slept in a little old sad Nova with no windows (bc students threw rocks at his car to break them out) Or air conditioning (reminder she also doesn't have a job or money). She took me to a fair with money my dad gave, and there they got in an argument- basically from the fair my mom and I got a ride to the airport, where we flew to the State of Bumfucks, Or SOB for short, without any clothes or any money.. and here I am. I am 7 now, I'm sleeping in an airport, and I had to leave my dog behind. But whatever man. The air is different and by now I've gained atleast 100 pounds. I get laughed at and made fun of every day at my new school, the food tastes like shit so I don't eat until I get home, my mom doesn't have a job so we don't have much food at home, I have headaches everyday, and it kinda is just whatever because in the apartment complex I have tons of friends and we have all the fun in the world together. We have no parental supervision, so we fuck some shit up: our favorite game is GTA bc we love to pick up hookers, have sex with them, and then kill them after so we can get out money back. Also the flying car cheat code. I hung out with the bros and we saw dead stuff and explored. We raced cars and blew up frogs with firecrackers. I had a crush on this boy who always told me I was fat and ugly and constantly picked on me. Years later, he actually retracted that statement and said I was probably the coolest person he knew- and I was hot af. I didn't want to date him after 3rd grade, but that was cool to hear. Dr. Pepper came into my life around this time, and I am thankful, but I gained hella weight, and my mom smoked upwards to 7 packs a day. LITERALLY. Several times the teacher took my back pack and put it outside because it smelled so bad, kids were getting sick from it. OOH yes Ms. teacher, thanks for telling me infront of the whole class. At some point I'll stop telling pointless stories, I just want you to get a sniff of what I'm stepping in, ya dig? I remmeber eating Hot Pockets for Thanksgiving because my dad wouldn't send money to my mom for child support because he didn't want her to spend it. I tried to start a successful car wash with my friends to get some money... We made 5 bucks- but didn't wash a single car. I remember being so mad at my dad once I called him 9 times and told him he was being a douche. I worry that played apart of his decisions later on. After almodt two years, we went back to get some stuff from our old house. We had to sell most of our belongings, I don't have any toys, vcrs, any tapes, just a few of the items we could pick up and take back- and My dog, and our two cats: Rosie, Yang, and Sally (who on the way to SOB, decided to live with another family across the street from my uncle: Cute/weird side story, my uncles partner had died a year before, and visited my uncle in a dream saying, "I'm sorry I left you, but I can't be without you. You will join me soon and we will be together again." A week later he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He was a professional pool player, a pro bowler, the best cook in the world, knew every answer to Jeopardy, had a boa in his house, and helped me build my first and only snowman and showed me how to make snow ice cream. He bottled jack Daniels in coke bottles and glued them back up so he could carry it in with him when he got chemo at the hospital. The cancer was actually treated, but he still passed away in his sleep, I know they're happy together again.) My grandpa died around Christmas, my parents got an offical divorce, and a few days after that- which happened to be a few days before my mom's birthday, there was a message on our answering machine. It was my sister, who we moved here to love close to, but still hadn't seen yet. She called to say, "Its over, it's done. He died last night." My dad had told them he didn't want to suffer anymore, so they "put him to sleep" I heard. That night, was a weird night. I was laying down, with my mom and my dog and we felt tear drops land on us, but neither of us was crying. He had alot of money and still to this day do I find random bits he stashed away for me, as if he knew people would be grabbing at it in every direction. After, we got kicked out of the apartment for having a dog. We found our own cheap little place, and made it our own. At some point, my mom, who was once a drug and alcohol abuse counselor, turned to heavy drinking herself. So at this point I should probably introduce what I'll be talking about, And that is: I'm 21 years old, and I feel like I'm floating through every day, like everything is foggy and dim- I spent my 21 birthday at both jobs and never really celebrated it- even though in a huge milestone type of person. I'm trying to figure out when I became so depressed and alien in my own skin, and what I can do to revise that because I feel like it's taken over parts of my personality and my caged butterfly self is ready to fly.~ And I'm going to start by hashing up what my loved ones have lived through and in turn what I've lived through.. There's a lot of different reasons as to why, mostly, I've just wanted to be heard- just for once. This is my way of standing up to hiding myself because of being put down and ridiculed so often for, honestly, everything I can remember. But I don't want to make this sappy and sad all the time, Feel free to laugh with me as I tell my story, and I hope you share yours as we continue to grow into our butterflies. Honestly it might be awkward and rough, but that's my first for now. :)