#help i still have 3 pages to go and i have spent at least an hour with the last 3
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hi mutuals. ive been gone all day in capstone hell in part bc my advisor is basically making me restructure the entire thing and it’s literally due on saturday. also if i look at a screen for another second my eyes will explode out of my face i think. like screens are so weird and 3d to me rn and it hurts my eyes and is too up close but also im pretty sure i have a lazy eye now so that’s probably why lol. but I have a week of this left at least atp except i can’t possibly ahve a week of this left because i literalt graduate a week from today. i feel like setting everything on fire
#purrs#what is it with me and my teachers / professors changing my entire project at the last minute LOL. throwback to ap art i. senior year of#high school when i was so fucking stressed out and depressed about graduating (hmmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and i had spent literally ALL YEAR do#doing my stupjd breadth and composition. or whatever it was like the names of the 2 stupid categories w head to do and i spent the whole yEA#year doing paintings for my compositon and i didn’t finish them bc i bit off more than i could chew (hmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and got permissi#permission from her to do my last like 3-4 paintings as collages in my sketchbook and then i had to give her mt sketchbook to like physicall#physically handle them and grade them (which was mortifying bc mt sketchbooks are like my diary basically) and after she gave it back she sa#sat me own and told me that she thought i had a better chance of getting a high score if in just used my sketchbook collages + some RANDOM#SKETCHBOOK PAGES that i had just been doing for fun and in my free time. instead of the paintings. thst i had spent all year fucking#murdering myself over. and iwas so angry but i went with it and i only got a 4 LMFAOOOOOOOO like this is just a repeat of that where he’s li#like you have to redo your entire fucking soi and break down everything etc etc and i swear to god i’ll get like a C. and at this point i do#don’t care. i almost broke down crying to him i was trying so hard to hold it together but i was telling him how i am worried about changing#so much of this right now not because I don’t care but because im exhausted and i DESPERATELY want and need to be done bc it’s been like#2 weeks of this at least. and he said nothing to that (in part bc i didn’t even look at him when i said it bc i was too embarrassed and bc i#said something else right after to lighten the mood bc i was too embarrassed) but like. lol still. this all sucks TREMENDOUSLY. i literally#am graduating in one week and it feels like i still have a month left and i have no fucking idea honwim gonna do this bc the stupid paper i#have been trying to write for the last 2 days he basically told me i have to redo in its entirety AND THE THING IS ITS 10 FUCKING PERCENT OF#MY ETIRE GRADE LKKE THIS IS SO STUPID HELPPPPPPPPPPPP help. this is so stupid and my faculty mentors can’t help me and im like ok maybe i ai#will go lie in the street right now. also not counting seeing glimpses of my roommates i haven’t been around another human being in person I#in a week and 2 days and ive only left my room 3#3x in that time span too all to go like take out the trash or some shit. so im absolutely done with everything LOL there is no way this#project is happening and i want to just dump the entire thing unfinished and say please just take it i can’t do it anymore i literally can’t#him: don’t even worry about the time rn. just pretend you have infinite time. me: crying cat meme. LIKE SIR I WOULD LIKE TO BE DONE THIS#VERY INSTANT! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s the way i have literally created THREE#fucking collections of literature in the course of doing this project and it still isn’t good enough LOLLL like i appreciate you trying to h#help me do well and give me time etc bu you have to understand i need to be done with undergrad right this second or i will explode
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the irony of reading an academic text about communication and the text essentially communicating nothing to you because it is written as though you need like 5 brains to understand it
#i'm an academic you see#help i still have 3 pages to go and i have spent at least an hour with the last 3
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Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.
Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:
She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.
She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.
Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.
She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.
She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.
She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.
We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)
She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)
She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.
She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.
I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.
anyway shout out to my mom for being neat
Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale#gale of waterdeep#astarion#gale dekarios#laq talks#I talk#she stares at me real hard after she makes a choice too#like squinting to see if my expression gives anything away#if it was a good or bad call#I keep my face blank as shit it’s hilarious#I have not told her I’m writing fanfic for this game#nor will I ever#jesus christ
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Collection of Free Art Tutorials
I don't usually make text post on this blog, but a nice artist I know was asking for tutorials a while back and I forgot to send some to them while in school. So here's a post on it since it's easiest to grab and go this way. :)
This list focuses on the basics. I'm focusing on the foundations of art, so medium is generally irrelevant and you can use physical or digital with these. You'll have to google more specific tutorials on things like character design and such.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give to you is strangely, introduce things to yourself one at a time. In art class, we took whole topics week by week. For high school, we did a few exercises then spent a week drawing/painting and doing your piece(s). For basic art 1 & 2 in college, we did 1-2 exercises and then did 1-2 drawings, followed by HW (which we turned in next week) and sketchbook practice (which she'd check at midpoints). For basic art lessons with a tutor, we did practice then our own art. You can see the pattern here - the point is don't be distressed if you don't get everything at once, or the lesson in 2 weeks, or the lesson in 3 years - we practice and do a lot over time, and you'll pick up on things you need to improve naturally and through help with others. Take time to be proud of your art in mini steps too, even if it's not the best! You tried and attempting to climb an obstacle over and over again before finally leapfrogging it is still progress to it.
Overall tutorials:
DrawABox.com is a site that's dedicated to art exercises and practicing when you can. They talk about the basics of art as well as how practice is important. It can get tough at times and it's ok to stop and do a balance of say those practices and doodles if you choose to try and do all of it's stuff - but you don't have to either. It's just a nice basic education done by some art nerds who like going hard.
Ethering Brothers - these guys are famous for their 40billion tutorials. If you need help on a specific idea, search their gallery and you'll likely find something.
Thundercluck's Art Fundamentals - She did a good huge ass tutorials on how things work, and it's the least overwhelming of the 3 I got in this section, so I suggest it as one of the first to look at for digital stuff.
Art Instructions Blog - Another good & simpler website that goes great into fundamentals. They focus more on traditional art but if you're digital, you can replicate most of the techniques - art fundamentals and subjects cover all mediums. Very important
Drawsh - Particularly notes on Construction: construction is the basics of building an illusion of a 3D image on a page. Figuring out how to build shape gives depth to your work, and learning how to see in 3D lets you be able to draw an item then move it around in your head (sometimes, when you're good enough, don't be afraid to pull out a reference or use live subjects). Construction is how to figure out the foundation of your drawing, and good planning = better picture!
This link starts at the back, hit newer post to go forward.
There's a lot on anatomy and other nitty gritty details for when you want to practice those as well.
Griz and Norm's Assorted tips - Long time artist talk about various tips and tricks they use in art and how to avoid certain pitfalls. It's eclectic but great to look through.
James Gurney's Blog - He's got a lot of thoughts, a lot of tips, and a lot of adventures he catalogues. It's the least organized out of these but fortunately he has plenty of tags and most post have something neat going on. He's fantastic!🥰
BEFORE ALL OTHER BASICS….
How to Make Your Art Look Nice: Mindset
There's a lot of artist with different perspectives on how to approach art and your mindset while doing it, but the general consensus is that it's a process and sometimes you have to remind yourself to enjoy art!
Line
How to draw straight lines without a ruler. …but for the love of all that's good do NOT feel bad about using one! This talks about how to hold your pencil and how to do some good freehand stuff, some good practice.
5 grips for holding a Pencil for Drawing - This goes for pencil, pen, tablet, etc.. Get comfortable and figure out what's right for you and your pictures. I'd like to note that paintbrush holding will overlap, but some will differ.
A few line drawing exercises that help with line confidence.
Types of line drawings & what they are.
Contour Line & exercises with Mrs. Cook - Contour lines are one of the first art exercises I do in all the drawing classes I've taken. The good news is that they're surprisingly fun & look neat, even the blind contours!
Good deep thoughts on lines and how to use them.
Line Weight Tutorial
Lineart Weight Tips!
How to show variation in your line art: part 1 & part 2.
Some teacher's Drawing 1 & 2 lessons put online.
Light, Shadow, & Value
An introduction to tonal values.
Why values are important. The main reasons are that they give depth to a piece, and values literally shape our world.
Tonal Values: Everything you need to know
How does light work & the basics on Light
Light & Shadow in Art - much more in depth of the above! Highly recommended if you have time to spare.
Understanding grayscale/monochrome art. Great for shading & planning.
A guide to Cross Hatching (and hatching in general) - As a side note, crosshatching is one of the early things taught as it marries Line + Value into a nice neat package and helps add form with just a pen.
Crosshatching for Comics
Learn more about coloring by working in grayscale
How to Make Your Art Look Nice - Contrast!
Using lighting to make your art look nice.
Some light & shadow classifications.
Edges - notes on how they work in shading.
Color
A side note - color theory doesn't differ much, but color MIXING will change between mediums. If you're doing traditional colored pencil, you're overlapping 2 or more pigments on top of each other. If you're doing traditional paint, you're mixing & creating a solution/emulsion (depends on the pigment and binding) of pigments with the particles reflecting light in different ways. In digital, overlapping colors & blending colors depend on how the program you use calculates it if you're not just putting 2 color side by side. This just means you have to adjust your mixing when you switch between them. :)
Slawek Fedorczuk's Light & Color Tips - also shows how to guide through a scene.
The Color Tutorial Part 1 & 2 by Sashas - A personal favorite.
Color Studies 1-6 by Sheri Doty
Amazingly nice breakdown on how color works in simple terms.
Sarah Culture's Tips on Color
The value of underpainting
A few notes on reflective light.
Experimental color techniques with Alai Ganuza: first post, second, & third.
Color zones of the face charts
Composition
Good Tips on Composition
Here's an example of how you can search the Etherington Brothers' stuff and get like 10 tutorials and tips on one subject. Composition & Cover Design, Shadow Composition, Two Line Composition - plus more.
How to make your art look nice: Thumbnailing!
And don't be afraid to make silly thumbnails or sketches.
Composition Examples - charts like these are great when you can't think of something yourself. There's no shame in using them.
Flow and Rhythm
Formulas for landscape composition.
Perspective
Perspective Drawing Tutorial by Julie Duell
Linear & Atmospheric Perspective Guide
One Point Perspective City Tut by Swingerzetta
Niso Explains Perspective - these are great for drawing figures in perspective!
Putting characters into scenes and drawing backgrounds
Backgrounds that make your character stand out!
Using background detail to guide the eye.
Odds and Ends
I shit you not, probably 1/3rd of my color, value, & structure knowledge comes from pixel art since I've done so much of it and it is all about challenging yourself to do the most you can with limitations. Check out lospec's tutorial database for fun and see how it compares to art techniques you're doing - even if you never try a medium, it's always interesting to see how it works. :D
How to Make Your Art Look Nice: Reference Images & Style, Pushing Proportions, and developing style.
Foervraengd talks about how he expanded his comfort zone with concept art & landscape drawing.
Luna Art talks about what they're thinking when doing concept art.
Repeating visual motifs in character design looks cool.
Eric's Thoughts on Drawing Backgrounds and Props.
Show vs. Tell: Why Visual is Not Optional in comics.
The Lost Vocabulary of Visual Story Telling Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, & Day 4.
Traditional Animation's 2 Digital Library books, The Know-How of Cartooning by Ken Hultgren & Advanced Animation by Preston Blair are two books from the golden age of animation they have up on their site for free viewing!
Animation resources dot org has a lot of cool stuff. Here's Nat Falk's How to Make Animated Cartoons (part 1). Their pages on Instruction & Theory are a good start.
Books
Good news: the internet archive has a TON of resources. Make sure to check around and toggle filters, it's a bit weird with organization. For example, a book can be under art or drawing - techniques, depending on who catalogues it.
Andrew Loomis is someone artist tend to die-hard reccomend. His work is collected here & here on the internet archive (one is Andrew Loomis, the other is Loomis, Andrew - thanks). I own Figure Drawing for All It's Worth and I recommend checking all of his stuff out, especially if you're having trouble with bodies and hands.
The Animator's Survival Guide by Richard Williams is mandatory in animation classes for good reason - it's fantastic!
Perspective for Comic Book Artist by David Chelsea is great for any type of artist. So is Extreme Perspective & Perspective in Action.
Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics, Reinventing Comics, & Making Comics. The first one is on the internet archive, the second two are likely avaliable at your library or at a bookstore as they're pretty popular.
Speaking of comics, Drawing Comics the Marvel Way has been a favorite of comic artist for years no matter what comic book companies and artist you like, it's a good introduction.
Anything by or endorsed by James Gurney, Color and Light: A Guide for the Realistic Painter is one of my favorites (this is his official page but you can get them elsewhere for cheaper too).
Art resource blogs with good tagging systems: @artist-refs , @help-me-draw , @helpfulharrie , @art-res , @drawingden , & @how-to-art
Lastly, I suggest if you find something you like online for free, SAVE IT! Whether it is through the Wayback Machine, screenshotting a whole webpage, reblogging/retweeting something, or putting it on pinterest, digital media is fickle and tends to go up in smoke when you least expect it. I have a partially organized Pinterest board that helped me find most of the stuff I wanted to keep. Figure out what works for you and save what you can.
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The F1 driver's Streamer sister
Lando Norris X Twitch streamer Russell!reader
Part 1 - ongoing series ! 820 words
Hi ! this is my first time writing anything on tumblr - I used to make fics on wattpad like years ago so I'm a bit rusty, hopefully you guys will like my content enough for me to keep up with it - graybby <3
Faceclaim - Nihachu
She's his sister?!
The door cracks open as Max rushes into Lando’s room giggling to himself.
“Mate guess what-” Lando’s head snaps up at the intrusion to what he was watching on his phone “what?” tilting his head questionably.
“You know that twitch streamer you watch Y/N?” - he definitely had his full attention now.
“SHE'S GEORGE'S SISTER!” Lando juts his lip out and tilts his head, confusion setting in.
Max laughs “George... George freaking Russell -you know?”
Lando’s face drops, jaw swinging open - “No fucking way… you-you’re lying to me, you have to be”
Max shakes his head, deadpanned trying to stifle another laugh. “How did you even find out?” the brunette says - shock written all over his face.
“George just posted on his private insta and it was a pic of them with HER private account tagged - last name RUSSELL”. Lando jumps to his feet running to snatch Max’s phone to see for himself still in disbelief.
His eyes scan the page immediately acknowledging the familiar last name she appears to share with the fellow driver he shares his races with.
“How the hell have they both kept this a secret? Does she even support him at the races? No one has ever spotted her at one " he remarks "Oh yeah - trust you to know that mate” Max pipes up earning a slap to the shoulder as Lando turns away grumbling.
Max laughs again “Maybe she hides away in the Mercedes garage, at least you might have a chance to be introduced to her now” Lando reddens at the thought of meeting his internet crush “Please shut up Max” he pleads trying to hide his blush behind his hands.
Max edges towards the door “Anyway, I’m going to bed - I’ll leave you to stalk her - night!”, “Whatever, night Max” he groans out as his friend shuts his bedroom door. He rolls over in his bed, reaching out he grabs his phone and wastes no time in searching for her account. Immediately finding said post on George’s page, he taps the tagged account - without a single thought he follows her. Turning his phone off his heart raced at the anticipation of whether she would even accept his request, him being an absolute stranger to her.
Ding!
He feels his stomach flip. She accepted! And followed me back! He feels his palms sweating. Rushing to his notifications he taps on her account and begins browsing through her posts, seeing a vast amount of aesthetic images - that give his .JPG account a run for its money- dating back a few years of her life, a sea of different hair colours and styles of clothing she has adorned over the years and still to his surprise a couple of candid shots of herself and George - a goofy smile worn on both their faces during a water fight on a beach holiday, his memeable pose in ski suits at a resort and most recently few shots from around the paddocks in Saudi Arabia from the last grand prix he had raced with George and the others only last week. Suddenly her change of streaming schedule and lack of main social media presence adds up - she’s been hiding in plain sight - supporting her brother while trying to maintain her distance from the Russell last name, probably knowing the craziness that would ensure if both the Formula 1 and her own twitch fanbase discovered who she was related to. He can’t help the smile gracing his face as he scrolls through her posts, staring at the smile that reaches her eyes in her pictures - capturing her beauty and personality oh so well. He wonders if she spent hours specially cultivating this flow of aesthetic images and if she had anyone in mind when she posted them as he ponders what else she might be hiding from her fanbase. Stop it Lando, he grunts to himself, a hundred thoughts clouding his mind she never mentioned in any stream that she had a boyfriend so calm down - but then again she literally hid her own brother and who he is. He continues doom scrolling her account much to his relief when he realises there's no evidence of a boyfriend in any of her posts - his thumb slips. Fuck!
His heart drops to his stomach as he realises he's liked one of her pics from two years ago. He immediately closes the app, quick to chuck the phone to the end of his bed as if it were physically hurting him to hold it any longer. He sighs and brings a hand up to rub his temples and tired eyes, glancing at his bedside table at the clock that reads two thirty AM, he decides he needs to try and sleep - hopefully she won't even notice.
As his eyes are fluttering shut he hears the dooming sound of an instagram notification.
Ding !
Oh fuck.
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Thank you for reading <3
#lando x reader#lando norris#ln4#x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#george russel x reader#george russel imagine#charles leclerc x reader
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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫.| 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 (𝐟𝐞𝐦!) 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 |
synopsis: In the span of 3 years, it's crazy how much you can learn about one single person. So much yet so little.
You find yourself realising that with every year there will always be more to learn. Every year offers a new opportunity to grow together.
You soon learn that he has things that are discreetly hidden from you.
And you him.
tags: roommates au, fem!reader, eventual smut, mutual pining, friends to lovers
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟏: 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲
word count : 4.9k
warnings: drinking, alcohol, drunk! Levi🤨
“Don’t even think about it.”
The warning slipped from your tongue in a haste.
Not even a full minute had passed since emerging from his room and your words were already aimed straight at his throat; piercing his skin like the tip of a knife.
Your intonation held a low and deep vibration throughout the room which almost startled him.
Almost.
You weren’t even looking at him directly.
His steel eyes snap over to your figure on the couch where you sat with your legs curled up like a cat under a fluffy blanket. Two hands held open your new novel, the one that had been on your reading list for god knows how long.
He'd gotten it as a gift for you at Christmas. You guessed it as soon as it caught your eye underneath the tree, one of the very first gifts placed there. It took everything in you to hold back at the temptation to rip at the carefully wrapped present and not jump straight in between the pages.
You held back. For him at least.
Barely two days into the new year and you’ve regretfully almost come to the end of your story. He curses quietly under his breath at noticing this, himself regretful that he hadn’t gotten you the whole book collection instead.
He thought about saving it as a birthday gift instead. Most definitely.
You continued to read on, pulling an oblivious expression with your eyes still glued to the page as you hear him huff in impatience. You knew all too well that if you just looked up to your left, he’d be standing there with his hands placed on his hips and his infamous scowl imprinted on his face in pure frustration.
A smile played along your lips at how easily you could rile him up. Too easily.
“You even touch that Christmas tree and I’ll take away your present.” you forewarned, fingers turning the feather-light page, eyes already jumping to the next sentence.
The Christmas lights that were wrapped around the tree blinked furiously in the corner of the living room, the large golden star at the peak of the tree heavily loomed over to one side, threatening to topple over due to its weight.
He’ll never forget how you had coerced him into helping you set it up. And you’ll never forget the comical-like way in which his eyes widened at the sight of you returning back to the apartment with a large cardboard box in your hands.
“It was a sale, I couldn’t resist.” were your words of defense, consciously aware that it was still early November at that time.
Despite your protests, he brutally ignored your excuses, instead babbling mutters of discontent as you made him walk in circles around the tree to wrap the tinsel.
“Stupid.” he remembers mumbling, feeling himself become increasingly irritated at the lone strands of tinsel that fell onto your carpet, which he would now have to go to the effort of hoovering once the two of you were done.
Switching on the bright lights—that you had definitely spent way too much money on—they powerfully illuminated the room, the festive colors of red and green bouncing off your white walls. The electricity bill for that month was indefinitely set to soar.
Regardless of Levi’s annual duplication of the Grinch, he couldn’t help but feel a weird sense of satisfaction at your glowing smile in reaction to the tree and after what felt like hours decorating, you finally won against your need for perfection. You stretched out your hands in front of him proudly, a beaming smile stretching across your lips with an exclamation of, “Happy birthday!”
He scoffed at you, his mind no where near the idea of his birthday. You knew how much he dreaded it each year, coming to the sudden realization that he was getting one year older.
Or one year closer to death as he would say which would earn a light slap on the arm from you for ruining the so-called “Christmas spirit.”
You introduced him to all the traditions of the holiday; something abnormal to him, having never experienced this during his childhood. A few years before and he would’ve never even given a second thought about the holiday.
The only thing that he does remember from his childhood is the long anticipation of receiving a present from his mother, one that she had saved up for all year to be able to give him.
He appreciated them all, no matter how small or bare, he was always grateful. Unlike the other kids who’d grown up spoiled, flaunting their gifts as soon as it was the return back to school after the holidays.
Was he envious of what other kids had growing up? Yes, of course, what kid wouldn’t be?
But, now having grown up he’d come to realize that he was deeply satisfied to have the more important things in life, like the close memories of his mother. He was more thankful to have spent time with her rather than receiving a bunch of toys he would soon grow out of.
Especially since people can suddenly be taken away from you in a blink of an eye.
But celebrating also helped you too, he’d learnt that moving away from your family to a new city by yourself wasn’t easy and with the guilt of the first christmas that he had spent with you, from then on he’d make sure that he'll put in all his effort.
Even if the whole day shortened his lifespan in the process.
Now standing in front of the glowing tree, Levi didn’t have to turn around to witness the grin on your face. He’d already heard it through your threat.
If there was one thing he learned about you throughout all these years, it was that you always kept to your word.
“It’s fucking January,” he remarked, “Christmas is over.”
You shook your head, “Nuh-huh Mister Scrooge, it’s still the holiday if I remember clearly.”
He snorted out loud, “Barely.”
“You’re just mad that you’re going back to work earlier than me.” you noted and again your mind can picture a crease between his brows at your blunt reminder.
“Whatever.” he muttered, sulking his way over to you without any further debate.
You felt the couch shifted a little under his weight, taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch.
Finally, you glanced up from your book to observe the figure sat adjacent from you.
You caught him mid-yawn, his hair uncharacteristically disheveled, raven locks astray, but one thing that predominantly stood out towards you was how well-rested he looked, his face slightly puffy from sleep and eyes full of energy, no evidence of dark circles under them. You felt content at this sight and it was more than obvious by the way you studied him.
“What?” he said bashfully, suspicious of your observation of him.
“Are you still hungover?” you ask, distracting him. You were annoyed that he caught on regardless of your obvious stare.
He rolled his eyes as your question. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, he deliberately ignored your question.
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” you murmur, eyes returning back to your place in your book.
A wave of silence filled the room, no further conversation made between the two of you. It was a comfortable silence, one that the two of you have gotten well adjusted to for the past three years, more than comfortable in each other’s presence.
Then, after a minute or two of silence, his lips parted to defend himself after some deep thought.
“I’m not hungover.”
You hum quietly, the sound of paper flicking as your fingers turn the page, not seeming bothered by his answer.
You recall back to New Year’s day, returning home with Levi from Erwin’s annual New Year party. Erwin was polite enough to offer that two of you should stay the night but you remember clearly how he kept whining about wanting to go home. With you.
In your three years of living with Levi, you’ve barely–no, rarely, seen him drunk. You didn’t know what was really up with him at Erwin’s, just the fact that as soon as you stepped into his apartment, he couldn’t stop throwing back the drinks. It was very incongruous to the usual Levi that you knew.
Unless he had something on his mind. You figured it was just the post-birthday emotions hitting him. He never went into detail but you were smart enough to assume that this time of the year was always tough for him.
As a result, you had to carry him home. His heavy, dead-like arm wrapped around your neck with the majority of his body weight pushed up against you for support, making your thirty minute walk home looking to take around an hour.
“Fucking hell, Levi.” you swore, your footsteps echoing against the stone pavements, the sound ricocheting off the concrete walls of the giant buildings that loomed above you.
His own steps lingered–irregular and clumsy–as he relied on you for total support. It was nearly four in the morning and groups of people were still out in the city, alive as ever, still drunk off a new year high. You could tell by the fireworks being set off irregularly that the celebrations had yet to finish, also not missing how Levi’s body flinched at the sudden sound of fireworks nearby, rising up into the sky, illuminating for a few seconds before disappearing into colorful clouds of smoke.
Of course, you couldn’t avoid interactions with large groups of drunk strangers wishing you a slurred happy new year from across the street. You gave a friendly smile back and wished them the same back, the same couldn’t be said for Levi, drunkenly sending death glares as his own response.
But it wasn’t until you walked past a certain group of strangers, that consisted mainly of guys, that he really grew hostile.
“Did you-did you see tha’?” he blurted out, stumbling in absolute defeat.
“See what?” you asked, focusing your eyes on his face and not missing the glow that the streetlights created upon his face.
“The way that guy looked at-” he paused, taking a breath, probably to hold down the bile rising in his throat. “You.”
He finished in a dangerous tone. It sounded unnatural even for him.
“No, I didn’t see that Levi, they’re drunk.”
“Drunk bastards.” he cursed, losing his balance momentarily until you held him upright again.
You hold back a chuckle, “And you’re one of them.”
“M’not drunk.” he debated, his lips turning into a pout.
“Okay,” you said, an idea popping in your head, “Stand by yourself then.” You pause in your steps and remove his arm from around your neck. In this separation, the warmth of your body is quickly replaced by the chill of the winter wind.
You’ve paused purposely by a lamppost to hopefully make it easier for him to navigate. You stand away from him, only a few meters, next to the hovering streetlight.
“You good?” you ask, raising a brow at his state.
His eyes are drooping a little, full of fatigue and obviously intoxicated. His body sways a little, side to side and his dark locks flutter a little in the almost icy winter wind. You don’t miss how pink and tinted his cheeks are, especially under the glow of the streetlight.
Little puffs of vapor escape from his mouth now visible in the cold winter air but disappear quicker than you can blink.
Vapor escapes from your own mouth as you observe him, “You’re swaying Lee’, that’s cheating.”
His eyes are now fully closed and a part of you is slightly concerned that he’ll topple over at any moment; just one light tap on his shoulder and he’ll end up face planting the stone pavement.
“M’completely–” he pauses again taking in a shaky inhale,“Fine.”
He scrunches his eyes before he attempts to walk and at an incredibly slow pace, his shoes scuffing the pavement. He barely moves an inch before opening his eyes again.
He looks around wearily, a dazed expression on his face.
“Did I get far?” he mumbles, his lips puffy and pouting.
Adorable.
You can’t attempt to hide your grin any longer, “C’mon you idiot, let’s go home.”
“You’re the idiot, idiot.” he grumbled back, immediately falling to your side, his arm wrapping perfectly over your neck.
You nodded,”Yeah yeah, thank you.”
And if it wasn’t enough to drag his ass home, you also had to get him up to your shared apartment.
“One step lee’, almost there.” your voice strained under the weight of holding Levi upright as he reached the second floor. One down, thirteen more to go.
And to think that out of all fucking days, tonight had to be the night that the elevator was out of order. The universe couldn’t even wait a day into the new year before testing your patience.
Your arm was wrapped securely around his waist, fingers digging into his shirt as you pulled him up the stairs. Sweat dripped down your back, your warm winter coat doing its job too well as an insulator.
“Are-are—we almost there?” He slurred, almost falling as he did so and your free hand suddenly clasped onto the railing to steady yourself. If he falls, you’re certain you’ll go down with him.
Now you sort of understand why he gets so annoyed when he has to pick you up from a night out, especially if he had to do this every time with you. The only difference is you're more of a mess. By far.
And with that taking longer than it should’ve, you finally come to a standstill at your apartment door. Your hand delves into your coat pocket, fingers searching through crumples of old receipts and tissue for your keys, it doesn’t take long for that sweet metallic jingle to reach your ears.
Levi stood next to you in silence. He was rather quiet during the final climb up the last floor. You brought it down to his exhaustion and post drunk clarity finally hitting him, a feeling you know all too well and despise deeply.
The jingle of your keys echoes down the empty hallway as you turn the lock, opening the door to a sea of darkness. You follow through first finding the light switch and Levi trails in after, shutting the door. Your back hits the wall of the hallway with relief and fatigue, you couldn’t wait to get to your bed.
But first… you had Mr grumpy to deal with.
Slipping off your coat and your shoes, you address him with an exhale noticing how he’s remained still the entire time, staring into the abyss.
“C’mon Lee’ let’s get you to bed.”
He makes no response, already trailing into his room without debate. Before you follow, you grab a glass of water for him during the night.
You find Levi sat on his neatly made bed, only completed with the task of removing his shoes. His dark locks look even more disheveled.
“C’mon,” you coo, placing down the cup on his neat bedside table. There’s only a radio that sits on the counter, its red digits reading, 4:23 am. Your hand pulls back the covers as Levi stands and he makes his way to lay down immediately but the touch of your hand meets his bicep.
“Change first.”
A light whine came out his throat, before he could even stop himself. If he were sober enough to care he’d cringe but he steps back following your instruction.
“You’ll thank me in the morning,” you state, “you don’t wanna sleep in those clothes, trust me.” You speak merely from experience, you know first hand that it’s not the best way to start the morning after a night out.
You go to leave the room to give him privacy before a soft utterance stops you from doing so.
“Stay.”
A hum leaves your throat in confusion. He watches you apprehensively, whole body rigid with his fists curled up by his side.
His mouth is snapped shut almost as if he regrets the previous words that come out of his mouth, you’re about to put it down to the state of him being intoxicated before he pleads again.
“You don’t have to leave.”
You remain unmoving with your mind still not sure of what to say apart from a simple, “Okay.”
You do turn around though, in an attempt to give him space whilst you try to find some clothes for him to sleep with.
“First drawer.” he says, nodding his head to the direction of his bedroom cabinet.
He slips off his slacks, stepping out of the material in slow movements. The clink of his belt carries a heavy tone and ends up with a loud clang on the floor.
You find gray sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt and as you turn, you find Levi half way in pulling off his own shirt before dropping it carelessly to the ground, too exhausted to pick up it and fold the material.
You try not to let your eyes linger too much on his body, particularly on the muscular tone of his stomach, a dark trail leading down to his lower abdomen as he stands solely in his boxers.
You awkwardly avert your eyes to the floor as you hand him his clothes, your cheeks burning up.
He dresses in silence, brushing a hand over his locks which in the process lifts up his shirt, revealing another little peak of his lower abdomen. In an attempt to distract your mind, you pick up his clothes without hesitation, hands already going to fold them methodically.
“I can do that tomorrow-” he starts, mouth open in protest at your help. You’ve already helped him enough. Too much.
“It’s alright, I’ll put them in the basket,” you say, folding up his stained t-shirt and pants, removing the belt before you fold up the latter.
His exhausted eyes linger over your face as he sits in silence on the edge of the bed, watching you complete the task.
You can feel his eyes bore into you. Purposely, you avoid his gaze, instead focused on the task at hand. “Thanks.” he utters, quietly, once you’ve finished.
You half shrug, “S’’nothing.” You know that he would do the same for you, Levi’s the type of guy to without you even asking so it’s only fair that you do the same.
“I’d give you painkillers, but you shouldn’t take them after drinking.” you say, nodding over to the glass of water that sits on the bedside table.
He nods wordlessly, “Thanks.”
You’re about to turn to leave, grabbing the pile of his folded clothes on the edge of his bed to place in the laundry basket. Your figure is about halfway into leaving the room before his voice stops you again.
“Do you mind staying–just for a little bit?” he speaks up, timidly. Levi still sits at the edge of his bed, and there’s a nervous manner in his body language that you don’t usually see. Tufts of raven hair are stuck to his forehead, his eyes wordlessly pleading you with his gaze.
It’s a tempting offer.
His eyes linger over your face, watching as you hesitate for a moment and for a second he regrets asking you at all, he’s just about to say never mind before you interrupt.
“Sure.”
Walking over, he shuffles over to the other side, silently observing you get underneath his covers. The scent of your laundry detergent—one that Levi religiously insists on buying—fills your nostrils as well as the faint smell of alcohol from him.
Your mind is too aware of the close proximity, the air from his lungs meets your bare neck and for once, out of three years of living together, the silence of it all scares you.
You clear your throat awkwardly, your heart loudly thumping in your ears.
“Did you enjoy tonight then?” you ask, your voice almost breaking as you did. Never would you have expected to be in this predicament. Laying in your roommate’s bed.
You hear a light scoff come from him. “As much as a new year’s party can be.”
You want to ponder on what made him want to drink so much in the first place, knowing his particular distaste for alcohol. But your lips remain shut making the assumption that he—like everyone else—wanted to mark off the end of the year and either way, you’re glad you remained sober tonight even if you weren’t planning to. At least one of you had to be responsible for getting home.
“You should get some sleep Lee.” you suggest, propping your elbow up and resting your head in the palm of your hand.
He lets out a deep hum in response.
To be honest, Levi was still thinking about his behavior tonight, his steel eyes observing your shadow through the darkness. A pit of anxiety stabbed at his lower abdomen, flashbacks popped up in his mind here and there of his behavior. His hand rubbed his forehead, a headache already forming in his skull.
If he could take it all back, he fucking would.
“Sorry.” he mumbles, silently dreading what tomorrow’s hangover would bring.
“For what?” you ponder, curiosity in your tone.
“Making you drag me back here.” he lets out a sigh, “We should’ve just stayed with Erwin.”
“It’s fine.” you reassured, “You’ve done this way too many times for me.”
“Not out of free will.” he joked. A low, natural hum played in the background, the natural vibration of the apartment alongside the outside noise of distant fireworks continuing the arrival of the new year.
“You got a new year’s resolution?” you ask, fingers skimming over the soft, fresh duvet covers.
Levi held back another scoff. Personally, he found that shit so stupid.
He would always remember how Hange would create thirty new resolutions each coming year and yet when December 31st they’d only have completed four by the end of it.
“No.” he states, “What about you?” he’s still slurring slightly, but you can tell the alcohol is starting to wear off especially as his body grows with more weariness and his question is finished off with a yawn.
You hesitate slightly out of embarrassment, “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” he repeats, his tone holding a subtle teasing tone which releases some of the awkward tension in the room.
“I don’t know,”’ you admit shyly, fiddling with your fingers underneath the covers, becoming too comfortable under the covers. You’re going to find it hard to leave soon.
“Well, what is it that you want to do?”
You shug, despite Levi not being able to see you. “It was just a thought, I don’t think it’ll make a good resolution.”
“What is it?” he asks again, gently pushing for an answer.
You let out a sigh, “I just want to get more work done, y’know develop my career and try to push into more opportunities?” you reveal, slightly shy.
“You’re already doing that.”
“Really?” You hummed in disbelief, “I feel like I haven’t worked as hard in the last year like I usually do.”
Levi’s words are now mumbled, falling captive to the power of sleep, “You’re one of–” he yawns again, “the–most hardworking people I know, if anything, your resolution should be to relax more.”
You let out a snort, “Coming from the man who eats, sleeps and breathes in front of a white screen sending emails.”
He scoffs in response,”Well, when you have a shitload of new interns to supervise on a daily basis who constantly ask you stupid questions ninety nine percent of the time, you barely know the meaning of rest.”
“You’re hard working too, Lee.’” you say, “You don’t realize it, but I honestly–I aspire to be like you. You’re always so calm and even when things ‘Go to shit.’” You curl up your fingers to air quote his own words,”You always handle it well.”
Your throat grows thick and you pause to swallow before speaking again, “If anything you should be taking your own advice this year.”
You can’t see due to the darkness of the room and for once Levi is grateful as fuck. With the mix of alcohol and the compliment from you, his heart pounds at a million miles per hour right now.
‘I aspire to be like you.’ You might as well have tattooed those words right above his fucking heart in the sense that your comment will stay permanent in his mind forever.
He’s definitely sure that his cheeks are a burning red from your comment, his mind running on pure elation.
He clears his throat nervously trying not to seem obvious that your words had deeply impacted him.
“I’ll die before that ever happens.” he grumbles and you poke him in the side in annoyance.
“Now that I’ve told you mine,” you say, “What’s yours?”
His face scrunches up, thrown off guard by your sudden question. It takes him a while to think before coming up with a definite answer for you.
He lets out an exhale, his heart almost heavy as he admits it to you.
“Not to take anyone for granted. Anymore.”
You remain silent, hearing it clear in his voice the remorse behind it. Your own heart aches, your limbs almost tempted to reach out to comfort him in a way, to try and understand the sorrow that he holds. Over the past three years, there’s always been allusions to it but you’ve never asked explicitly. It’s not your place to.
After a period of silence he clears his throat, “So–” he begins, “Let’s make a deal.”
Your eyebrows quirk up in curiosity as Levi continues.
“You will promise not to overwork yourself this year and I–” he hesitates, “I’ll not take anyone for granted.”
“And don't overwork yourself too.” you add on to the end.
He clenches his jaw, that wasn’t something he thought about agreeing to but…fuck it.
“Fine.” he says exasperatedly, “I won’t overwork myself…I mean–I’ll try.”
“That’s good enough.” you declare, “It’s a deal then.”
“Deal.”
You don’t remember much of the conversation past that point apart from listening to him complain about the new interns and the annual Christmas office party.
He makes a suggestion for you to come with him next time to which you respond with a “maybe.” It’s not much but it’s enough to set his hopes up, an unfamiliar, warm feeling in his limbs. He tells himself it’s the after effects of the alcohol, unknown that you too, are silently experiencing the same effects.
Somewhere along that point, you fall asleep, your body only jolting awake a few hours later. Already, the sunlight peaks through, illuminating the room that was pitch dark just a few hours ago.
Your eyes were blurry, your body aching and overstimulated with heat as your clothes stuck your skin. You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to adjust to the new lighting of the room.
Coming to your senses, you notice the feeling of a heavy limb wrapped over your torso, keeping you tightly secured in place. Only then you realize that you’re not in your own bed.
A head of jet black hair beside you makes you fall back into reality. Shit.
Levi’s arm is wrapped around your waist, tightly, and his head positioned near your shoulder. Light snores escape from his mouth, they’re so quiet you can barely hear them. You can feel his chest expand and deflate against your back, it feels so snug and so…right.
Too right.
Without warning your mind panics, desperate to find a way to get out. His presence was too intoxicating for you to even comprehend your own thoughts.
You shuffle slowly, attempting to get out of his grip in a way as not to disturb him. Your plan to be discreet fails in pure vain as a light groan is heard near your ear.
“Levi.” you whisper, sensing that his body is beginning to come alive, ever so slowly.
It takes a while for him to become aware of his position and remove his hand away. Almost immediately, you notice the growing distance between the two of you as he pulls away.
And all of a sudden you hate it. The iciness that your body feels as he pulls away, your brain almost lulling you to return to him, pull him back and close the distance between the two of you.
Ignoring your painful isolation, you sit up and stretch your aching legs before unwrapping yourself from the covers.
“Sorry,” you mumble,”I must’ve fallen asleep.”
There’s no response as he’s turned away from you, the back of his raven hair the only thing you see.
You don’t even know if he’s awake. You make the assumption that he’s not based on the fact that he doesn’t really say anything to you as you exit his room, the unspoken tension thick and awakened between the two of you.
Since then, not much has been impacted between the two of you although you both actively avoid discussing what happened that morning.
It’s not awkward but more so that the tension between the two of you has shifted ever so slightly.
“You better not touch the decorations either way.” you state after a long period of silence, flipping the next page of your novel.
Levi clicks his tongue in faux annoyance.
To you, you think that you’ve successfully won him over. But in reality…
he doesn’t really care if they stay up for the rest of the year or if you’re planning to take them all down tomorrow.
For long as you’re here; you can make up the rules
if you’d like to be tagged let me know !
#lover.#angel writes#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#levi attack on titan#attack on titan#levi x reader#aot x reader#levi x you#levi x reader fluff#aot fluff
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why do i feel like könig would make the most poetic heart shattering, tear jerking love letter for engel and she just ends up crying reading each word carefully(its either written in german or english does NOT matter would still cry)
He would though 😭💌
König is a hopeless romantic without even knowing it. He rarely uses his phone except to quickly check something, rarely texts you unless you text him first and never uses emojis, but he does write to you when he's away, even if it's just for a week. And it's not a cute little postcard you're getting...
Because König will send you 3–5 page letters when he's deployed. He sends them even during a mission if he can.
You know it because some of those letters have dirt on them, mainly fingerprints from his gloves, and they're in a poor condition overall because he's had to quickly tuck them away in the middle of writing them. It's not recommended that soldiers like him do stuff like that, send letters to their sweethearts during a covert operation, but König always finds a way.
He's spent hours on them too, because the first thing you notice is his handwriting: now much more eloquent when he's writing to you instead of filling out a dull form or briefly adding something to the grocery list. He's clearly made an effort in trying to make the letters thoughtful and romantic (without even knowing it), tries to play Mr. Darcy or something even though you know for a fact that König has never watched a single period drama in his life.
He just thinks that's what men do, or at least should do; write love letters to their girls back home. It both creeps you out and tugs at your heart to see the rigid, unusual calligraphy paired with smudged fingerprint stains on those multiple sheets of white. You wonder if the other soldiers think he's weird or laugh at him for writing letters to his girl like it's 1916 and he's stuck in trench warfare when he could simply give you a holler through a text.
He talks about how his days have been, the things he saw today (an abandoned cat, a beautiful big spruce, a flower that reminded him of you), but mostly, he talks of his love for you and how much he misses you.
He mourns that you can't send him a letter back (technically, you could send one to the base, but it's not recommended either), and says that he always carries a picture of you with him. He will bring you a little something, a souvenir of sorts from his missions (you already know it's going to be a dried flower if it's summertime). He says the thoughts of you help him fall asleep and that he misses your smile the most of all. He will kiss you all over when he gets back.
One time, he tells you about a statue of an angel he saw where he was dropped. The details of his work are forbidden from civilians such as you, but he always shares the things he can. He paints a bittersweet picture of how he watched that statue survive the relentless hammering of air support, grenades and showered bullets while the rest of the city fell around in ruins. It stood there, untouched by mud and horror and death even as people around him got hit.
He tells you the angel reminded him of you.
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All Day - Brian Zvonecek | 18+
Requested: yes
Word count: 2,788
Warnings: smut [dirty talk, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (womp womp), creampie?], aftercare <3
A/n: yeah idk hi
Masterlist
“Imagine how I good I’d feel inside you.” + “I didn’t know you were like this.”
Being with Brian was probably the easiest thing you’d ever done. Easily. He was kind, and gentle, and loving. Just overall a sweet charmer. Working together meant a lot of your time together was spent on calls.
And today had been intense, a helicopter crashing because of a couple of boys flying a drone was not something either of you expected from the shift but regardless of working on different companies, you and Brian saved a lady’s life.
And god did he look good doing it. No seriously, seriously, if it wasn’t the life or death situation of a lady you would have been ogling over him the entire time, but you know, professionalism and all. Regardless, the way he took control over all of it? Knew what he was doing?
Hot. Just so extremely, extremely hot. And it had been on your mind all day. Especially now as you were in the passenger seat of his car on your way to his place. It was difficult keeping your thoughts to yourself, but part of you worried that he’d be, weirded out? That you were turned on by him just doing his job.
So you sat, legs pressed together and your hand innocently in his. Even now as he drove your eyes shifted up from where you two were connected, over his arm, his partially covered bicep that now out of his uniform was only covered by the short sleeve of his button up, and over his face.
“I can feel you staring.” Brian spoke suddenly, glancing over without as much as a turn of his head. Instantly your cheeks went red, turning away from him with a shake of the head.
“I- No, I was just, admiring.” You blubbered out, shifting slightly. Getting caught looking was one thing but getting caught looking because you were having a million and one thoughts of him on top of you was embarrassing to say the least.
Brian turned his head to you briefly, “Mhm, well stop doing that. Hair on the back of my neck is standing up. Tickles,” He chuckled faintly, squeezing your hand. He was very obviously kidding but still, you turned your eyes to look out the window
If you didn’t look at him then maybe you’d be able to control yourself. Except when you got home and he instantly fell onto the couch with his shoes kicked off, you couldn’t help looking over him.
This time your lingering gaze was not ignored, Brian twisting to look right back at you, “If you’re gonna stare, at least do so over here so I can hold onto you while you do,” He muttered, his hand stretching out lazily.
You sucked in a deep breath before walking over to him. “Maybe I want to admire you from afar.” You teased, grabbing onto his hand. The warmth of his palm made you sigh, instantly being drawn towards him.
“You could but,” Brian yanked your arm just slightly, pulling you onto his lap. “I couldn’t do this,” He smiled, eyes sliding over your face. With your legs around him, you bit your lip, shrugging just slightly.
It took nearly everything inside of you to not grind down against him, instead putting your arms over his shoulders, one hand slipping into his hair. “Hm, you’re right. I like this,” You grinned, feeling his hands sliding up your thighs. “Yeah, like this a lot.”
Slowly you leaned forward, pressing your lips to him, giving up on whatever control you had over yourself. Brian was just too damn intoxicating and you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Apparently he was on the same page though, his grip going to your hips just tightly enough to push you down against him.
A soft groan rumbled through you, repeating the motion, this time without any outside force needed. As soon as you pulled back his lips were on your neck – hot open mouthed kisses going across your skin. “God I’ve wanted this all day,” You muttered out, tugging just slightly at his hair.
The tickle of his mustache always made you squirmy, that on top of the annoyance in your pants made you rock down against him steadily, not caring how needy it made you look. “All day?” Brian muttered, pushing your shirt off your shoulder.
“Well, since,” A moan cut you off as he sucked a mark onto your collarbone. “Since that helicopter call.” You weren’t going to say anything but as soon as it came out, his hands slid up your sides, one staying splayed out on your back.
Brian’s eyebrow lifted, confused on how you decided you wanted him like this on a call of all places. “The helicopter call?” He questioned, tucking stray strands of hair off of your face. Softly you hummed in response, scratching just slightly at his scalp.
“Mhm, watching you take everything apart, and lifting it. I don’t really know. Did something to me.” You burned red as you admitted it to him. He instantly shifted to grab the bottom of your shirt, pulling it up and off of you.
The sudden coldness of the room made you suck in a breath, his lips immediately connecting to your chest. You held him to your chest, the growing bulge in his jeans giving you more friction, his hands grabbing wherever they could.
Your sides, hips, thighs, ass. Everywhere. If he could touch you everywhere all at once he would. “You know,” You breathed out, looking down at him. “When I first met you, I didn’t know you were like this.”
Honestly, meeting young Brian Zvonecek his first year on truck was crazy. He was a goofy guy. His hair was still unruly, he’d gotten better at styling it now but you liked it before either way. He’d filled out his uniform nicely, again, not that you weren’t infatuated from first sight but it was more so the growing together that got you. And you were thankful for that daily.
Brian’s hands went back up your thighs, squeezing as they did. “Yeah, and I didn’t know I was like this, either. And I thought you were shy when I first met you... Now look at you, huh?” He always did manage to have a sort of cocky attitude when he had you like this. Which, lucky for him, was pretty often.
You left out a soft whimper at his tone, biting your lip. Brian reached up more, moving to unbutton your jeans, looking up at you. Easily you shifted enough to get them off, not caring that you were just in your underwear and bra, not when his eyes hungrily grazed over you.
Your fingers found the clasp of his belt and button of his jeans, looking over his face, “You’re overdressed for the occasion.” You leaned forward into his ear, whispering softly. Without any hesitation, he shifted you off of him, standing to shove off his pants, the buckle hitting the floor with a clang.
No matter how many times you saw his body it alway, always made you want him more than you originally did. Though, watching the button up hit the floor was always a bit upsetting, you always loved them. Especially this one, red, birds all over it. He was wearing it the first time he fingered you so it always brought back memories to say the least.
As soon as he was sat back on the couch, the only thing covering him being his boxers, he reached his hand out again. Easily you crawled back onto his lap, lips crushed together the second you could.
Every movement together made him groan, his hands reaching around to finally unclasp the bra that covered your chest. As soon as it joined the other clothes on the floor, he slid his hands up your chest, cupping each breast in his hands.
Your back involuntarily arched towards him, his fingers tweaking your nipples as you did. A low groan bubbled in the back of your throat, bucking your hips down against him. “God Bri, you feel so good.” Each word was mumbled but he understood each of them, his mouth coming up to your ear.
He pressed a kiss right under it, still feeling you up, “Imagine how good I’d feel inside of you.” The words came out before he could even think them over, the pure lust and horniness front and foremost in his mind.
Neither of you were even sure what to say, you out of pure shock at his confidence and how much that turned you on and him out of slight embarrassment. Regardless it went away within seconds, you shifting onto your back and pulling him on top of you.
“Say that again.” You muttered, craning your head up to kiss his neck. He shook his head slightly, going to decline. “Brian, that was one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. Say it again.”
That was enough to spark something inside of him, his fingers walking up the inside of your thigh, “Well in that case, I said, imagine how good I’d feel inside of you.” His index finger danced along the top of your underwear, agonizingly slow over the exact spot you actually wanted him, your eyes hooded as he looked over you.
Impatiently you tried to lift into him, his touch pulling away as you did. He kneeled back onto his knees, fingers racing up to loop over the band. As always, he hesitated, waiting for a sure nod and yes before doing anything. “Go ahead,” You spoke firmly with a nod, already lifting your hips up for him to remove the last layer of your clothing.
Brian pulled them off, his hands going right back to the upper most part of your thighs. Gently he nudged one of your legs around him, propped up under one of the pillows on the couch. “I ever tell you how beautiful you are?” He muttered, trailing a finger through your folds, collecting as much of your arousal as he could.
You nodded quickly, your hands balled into fists to try and keep yourself still for him. Not that he was much of a tease, not on days like this. He was always the type to give you just what you wanted, it was in his blood. He was a pleaser. And boy did he please.
So it was no surprise how quickly and easily he pressed his middle finger into you, curling it up like he had done this a million times. Your eyes glazed over his body, trickling down to where he moved his digit inside of you. “Fuck, Brian,” His name practically dripped the same way you were out of you.
He watched how you reacted to each movement, slipping his ring finger in as soon as your hips bucked up, unable to stay still anymore. Every pump made a disgusting squelch but he was hitting the exact spot, your hand coming up to grab onto his arm.
“Just- just like that,” You groaned out, nodding tightly. There was an attempt to keep your eyes on him. Really, but as soon as you started to clench around him and the outer edge of your vision went white, you scrunched your eyes closed.
Brian slowly slowed inside of you, making sure to ride you out of the high entirely before he leaned over you, making a show of licking over his fingers. “For someone so gorgeous, you taste just as good.” He spoke, leaning down to kiss you before you could even say anything back.
Granted no words were even coming to your mind, just overwhelmed with the pulsing in between your legs. That and the bulge that was still hidden away. You reached between the two of you, palming at him.
“I think these should come off.” You sighed out, him kissing your cheek, and then jaw before sitting back like he had before, this time discarding his boxers. Instantly you felt yourself clench around nothing, always a mess for him. “God, please fuck me.” You muttered, more so under your breath and to yourself but not unheard to the man above you.
“Trust me. I plan to,” He hummed, sliding his fingers through your mess, using the wetness to get himself ready, not that he wasn’t already completely swollen and dripping his own precum. You whined faintly, sensitive to the touch as you tried to push closer to him.
He leaned down, kissing your lower stomach before gently sliding inside of you. Your mouth gaped open as he did, your hand once again found his arm, wrapping around his forearm. Slowly he started to thrust into you, planting himself on either side of your head.
Your gaze would have stayed on his face if you weren’t distracted by the way his bicep tightened as he held himself up. And you were sure if you could see the way his back muscles looked right now, you’d be a complete and utter mess. Well, more so than you already were.
“This what you wanted from me all day?” Brian noted the way your eyes were locked on his arm. “For me to be on top of you like this?” His hips snapped up, the usually gentle man unable to help how turned on he was.
Having someone be so attracted to him that they were thinking about him at work? When they weren’t being all coupley at home? When he was just, being Otis? Just being Brian? It worked its way into his mind and each hit into you was enough proof you needed of that.
Your eyes went back up to his face, eyebrows pulled together as you nodded, “Yes, god, yes it was.” You moaned out, the way your mouth hung open the perfect chance for Brian to run his thumb over your bottom lip.
“How bad?” You didn’t answer right away, making him lean closer to you. “How badly did you want me to fuck you while we were at work?” He repeated, his palm pushed to the side of your face, holding you there.
The knot in your stomach was already tightening, everything about how he was acting simply sent you over. “So bad baby,” You whined, “So so bad.” A breath caught in your throat as you dug your nails into his skin.
Before you could give warning, your back lifted, electricity running throughout your entire body as you tightly clenched around him. “Bri-” His name didn’t even come out louder than a squeak as he kept his pace up, chasing his own release.
It wasn’t far behind yours, the man only stilling with a groan as he came, filling all of you up. Your eyes locked on one another, his thumb lightly gracing your cheek. Once you’d both pulled yourselves together he leaned down to grab his boxers, putting them underneath you before pulling out.
That was the only thing that kept your mess from getting onto the furniture but he leaned down, peppering soft kisses over your face, the hair above his lip making your nose scrunch up. He waited a couple moments before pressing a long and firm kiss to your lips. “You alright?” Brian made sure to question, taking your soft nod as a good enough answer.
Slowly he stood, grabbing onto your hands to help you up and into the bathroom. “Here, go to the bathroom, I’ll start a bath for you and go clean up okay?” His voice was soft, planting a gentle kiss to your forehead as you sat on the toilet.
Without another word he turned the water on to get warm before disappearing from the room, reappearing a couple minutes later with a new set of clothes for both of you nicely folded. “You want help getting in?” Brian offered, gingerly taking your hand to help you stand and step into the bathtub.
The two of you sat there for a bit, Brian washing your hair for you while leaving more and more kisses over your shoulders and the back of your neck. Once you were out, dry and clothed, the two of you moved to his bed, his arms wrapped around you.
Slightly you shifted to face him, placing your hand on the side of his face, “Can I tell you a secret?” You asked, a smile fighting to grow on your face. He nodded instantly, mumbling an ‘always’ under his breath. “I love you.”
A blush crossed his cheeks as he thought for a second. “Can I tell you a secret?” He countered, raising his eyebrows together. With a giggle you nodded, already knowing what was going to be said.
“I love you too.”
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#chicago fire#chicagofire#brian otis zvonecek#chicago fire fanfic#fanfiction#otis#otis imagine#brian otis zvonecek oneshot#otis x reader#brian otis zvonecek x reader#otis zvonecek x reader#otis chicago fire#otis zvonecek oneshot#otis zvonecek#brian zvonecek#brian zvonecek fanfic#brian zvonecek imagine#brian zvonecek x reader#brian zvonecek oneshot#brian zvonecek fanfiction#chicago fire fanfiction#chicago fire one shot#oneshot#otis oneshot#one chicago#x reader#reader insert#chicago fire x reader#one chicago x reader#zvonecekotis
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Chemical Reactions (P. 10)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader
Warning: Age-Gap, Infidelity, Smut
Words: 1,245
Note: The fic is spoiler free and my own fantasy and imagination. It is not historically and scientifically accurate.
Previous Parts: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9
THIS PART IS DIALOGUE HEAVY AND PART EIGHT WILL BE SIMILAR, BOTH PARTS ARE NECESSARY THOUGH TO EXPAND THE STORY.
Three months later…
Over the next three months, you did not get to see Robert and whilst you worked on your thesis with Dr Lawrance in the experimental department and another professor in the theoretical department, you struggled with the mere fact that you could not run your ideas past the man you were now connected to more deeply than you had ever thought to be possible.
You knew that, at least physically, Robert was far away from you now and, yet, emotionally, he was so close since, just as he had promised, he wrote to you, week after week.
His letters were detailed and poetic, handed to you by no other than Dr Lawrance himself and, whilst Lawrance hated to be the middle man in all of this, he also knew that he had no choice.
“He writes to you more often than he writes his wife” he told you after a month or so had passed while, truthfully, you still had no idea where he was.
“You aren’t reading those letters though, are you?” you asked your professor who, reluctantly, shook his head.
“I admit that I have read the first two or three letters to ensure that there isn’t anything in them that concerns me or the security of the project, the nature of which I know you are somewhat aware of. But then I became to realise that the content of Robert’s letters has nothing to do with physics at all so I stopped reading” Dr Lawrance then admitted with blushing cheeks and, of course, you could not help but cock your eyebrows.
“Robert has a habit of being romantic. I am sorry Dr Lawrance” you stammered, concerned by the fact that your professor was now very aware of your personal life.
“We live in a time of turmoil and scarcity so, please, don’t apologise for engaging in a little pleasure now and then” Dr Lawrance responded before warning you that, if he had any reason to believe that you were going to engage in treason, he would report you as well as his colleague to the authorities for investigation.
“I understand, doctor and I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about” you reassured him which is also when he handed you yet another letter from Robert which, as usual, you could not help but read in a haste.
As such, you quickly handed Dr Lawrance a letter for Robert that you had prepared in the past week, responding to his previous poems and admissions of love and desire for you before, quickly, hiding away in one of the empty laboratories to tare open the envelope.
The letters…
“Even now, when I am so far away from you, in my mind's eye, I can see your smile. I can hear your laughter. I can taste your lips. This is when I realise how much I need you, my love” he wrote, amongst other things, in his past letters, the contents of which always made you blush.
With every word you read, your heart was filled with warmth and desire for him and, when you read through his writings every week, you took comfort in what he wrote to you, knowing that he missed you just as much as you missed him.
It was those words of his, from a man like him, that made you feel special and powerful. He was a man who was so utterly important to this country now and, out of all the women in his life, he seemed to desire you most which was evidenced by his writing.
His letters were always several pages long and, every week, you received at least one of them, making you wonder how much time he spent in between work to think about you. According to Doctor Lawrance, it must have been several hours at least seeing that no one else received this much correspondence from J Robert Oppenheimer, not even his wife who, in his letters, Robert said he did not love anymore and yet, he could not leave.
“I must retire now, or I will be overcome with love for you which is a feeling that has been rather unfamiliar to me for quite some time now” he thus said at the end of his last letter to you to which you responded with great enthusiasm.
You too wrote to him every week and, with every letter you received and every letter you sent, your feelings for Robert were growing stronger.
Your letters were also slowly becoming more intimate and sexual in nature and whilst Robert had no problem with being explicit, you struggled a little more with the idea of being open about your needs.
“I have very little power to resist the urge to kiss you again and convey my feelings for you with my body atop yours. I want to be one with you again and fight a great conundrum this night and every night, until we are together my love…” Robert told you on several occasions before you built up the courage to do the same.
“I cannot wait to see and feel you again Robert, but I can promise you that you are all I am thinking about when I am alone, wishing that my hands atop of my bare skin were yours” you thus wrote back while also telling Robert, in your final letter to him, that you were struggling to come to terms with his prolonged absence.
“It is in these quiet moments where I write you that I realise the depths of my loneliness and yet, I do not feel sad. I know that if it were not for the intensity of my feelings for you, I would not long for you the way I do” you wrote just last week which was the letter Robert had now responded to with only a short note, being the letter you received today.
“My love, I cannot bare another moment of being without you. Without you, I ache and this letter marks yet another step in my quest to illustrate to you just how important you are to me. These lonely nights will not build upon one another any longer and threaten the integrity of the foundation of our love. I will not allow it. It has been three months since our last encounter and I must see you again. I will be visiting the Four Seasons on Lane Street next week. Meet me there at noon on 3 March. Room 452. Yours always, Robert” was what it said and, since Robert told you that he had taken a room at the hotel that day, you knew that you had to drop everything else and meet him there. It was a chance you could not pass up and did not want to miss out on although, unbeknownst to you, you were being watched and so was Robert.
In fact, as soon as Robert made the booking at the hotel, General Groves’ security team contacted the receptionist of this luxury accommodation and ascertained the room number assigned to J Robert Oppenheimer for his impending visit.
The General’s team advised the receptionist that this was a matter of national security and since the receptionist could not deny providing the army officials with the information they had requested, the room number was given to a team of infiltrators.
As a result, the room was bugged with two listening devices, due to the concern that, perhaps, Robert was passing on secret information to you and the soviets.
This, of course, was nonsense though as General Groves’ assigned personnel was soon to find out when listening into your somewhat personal encounter with Robert and, yet, it would life changing consequences for you both…
TO BE CONTINUED. PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!
#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy x reader#cillian murphy x y/n#cillian murphy x you#robert oppenheimer#j robert oppenheimer x reader#oppenheimer x reader#oppenheimer#j robert oppenheimer#oppenheimer 2023#robert oppenheimer smut#j robert oppenheimer x you#General Groves
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A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 30)
WARNING: NSFW/Mentions of sex
A/N: AHH alright, so I'm kind of losing it. It's genuinely hard to believe that A Lion in the Garden is over, or at least plot wise anyways. Because yes, I am going to go back and edit, along with adding new chapters into the main plotline to help with pacing and all that, but this is the end of Lady Tyrell and Tywin’s story and it is honestly making me emotional. I started this story in late November, and in the last six months I’ve written about 170,000 words about these two, which is around 300 pages the way that I have it formatted in google docs. So, needless to say, this has been quite the journey for me and also for all of you who have been reading as I publish. And a giant thank you to everyone who’s shown support for my story, because even when I was busy or lacking motivation, knowing that there were at least a few people desperate for the next chapter made me keep working, and now I’m here. Anyways, with all that said, please enjoy the last chapter and know that I am so grateful for all my readers <3
—————
To finally be in the tower of the hand was a blessing. I had spent no less than three hours in the great hall, and if I’d been stuck there any longer I might’ve gone mad. Thankfully, Tywin knew me well enough to know that my patience was wearing thin, and had distracted a few lords so I could slip away.
It was about 10:00 when I made it back to our chambers, and instantly I collapsed on one of the sofas in Tywin’s bedroom, removing my shoes with a sigh. I massaged my feet and ankles, tired after quite literally standing still for hours on end. If I had been walking the whole time it would’ve been fine, but it was like I had been stuck.
“King Tywin Lannister…” I muttered to myself, getting up from the sofa and going over to the mirror. I could’ve rang for Cerella, but it was late, and the last thing I wanted was to be rude. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I could tolerate a conversation right now. All I wanted was to let my hair down, remove my gown, and fall asleep.
No, that wasn’t all I wanted. I wanted Tywin beside me too.
But he probably wouldn’t have the chance to join me until much later, and I couldn’t wait for him. Sighing, I grabbed at the pins in my hair, taking them out and running my fingers through it afterwards. It had not relieved my headache as much as I had hoped.
I reached backward then, watching myself in the mirror as I undid my dress. I suddenly wished that Tywin had dressed me in red this morning, for at least I could’ve felt connected to him that way. The entire day—though not purposefully, of course—he had been so distant, and now all I wanted was to feel like he was with me.
My dress fell to the floor, and I undid the rest of my unnecessary undergarments with a sigh of relief. I turned to go towards the dresser and find a nightgown, but I noticed that one had already been laid out on a chair. I was unable to hold back a smile, grabbing my gown and other undergarments from the floor and folding them as neatly as I could. Cerella had known me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t want to speak to anybody at this hour, and so she had set out my nightgown in advance. Gods, I loved her.
I set my clothes down on the chair, taking the nightgown in my hands once I had and slipping into it. I found that I dearly missed the warm nights that Tywin and I had spent nude, lazily sprawled out under the thin silk sheets. The nights had become colder, and soon the days would too. After that, it would only be a matter of time before the ravens came from the citadel. Then the blankets and furs on our bed would pile, and I would press myself closer against him. Perhaps that was not so unfortunate.
I slipped into bed, pulling the blanket up to the bottom of my neck and finding a comfortable position. I settled into the mattress with a sigh, my head sinking into the pillow with a sort of relief. It was odd, however, to be falling asleep without Tywin by my side. The bed felt too light without him, and I wondered if I would be able to sleep without the sound of his breathing beside me.
King Tywin Lannister.
Everytime I found myself drifting off, that came back to me. It was still such a shocking concept, and I wanted it to feel normal more than anything. For some reason, though, I simply couldn’t make it sound correct. Queen (Y/N) Tyrell.
A small shiver went up my back, and I had to turn onto my other side in bed. I kept hoping for the sound of Tywin’s boots outside the door, but they would not come. It was almost funny to me, how much comfort was derived from a man that plenty of people considered an insufferable cunt. Myself included, let it be known.
And yet still, I felt restless without him. I had a million questions to ask, and a million reassurances I wished to receive. Although, I guessed he was worse off than I was, probably surrounded by far too many noblemen… and noblewomen.
Now I was lying on my back, a sort of jealousy sparking in me and making my body go hot. Never before had I ever felt that somebody would try and disrupt my relationship with Tywin, but if he was to be king, surely the title of queen looked appealing to many ladies. Just as I was certain the concept of birthing little princes and princesses did.
Would Tywin want children now? His relationship with Tyrion had improved, yes, but would he go so far as to put him on the throne? I wondered if that was better or worse than Casterly Rock. But that was only for a moment, because the idea of heirs was most important. I knew for certain that the titles of prince and princess had not changed my feelings, but sometimes Tywin was hard to predict. Although, if I hadn’t been so tired and my head not so clouded, I would’ve known instantly that his opinion upon the subject had not changed.
Eventually, this train of thought became so tiring that it no longer made sense, and the words in my head were not coherent any longer, especially as I had turned back onto my side and closed my eyes once more. My breathing had begun to slow as well, and slowly but surely I drifted off.
In my dreams, I was on the battlefield. I somehow knew that Tywin was there, but I did not see him. The other odd thing was that it had been snowing, and it was somewhat reminiscent of Winterfell. It was unlike any battle I'd ever been in.
—————
Tywin was utterly exhausted. He had been in constant discussion ever since you’d left the hall, and it was now approaching 2:00 in the morning. He was making his way up the tower of the hand, already grasping at the top of his coat and undoing the clips. It was unlike him to undress anywhere besides his chambers, but gods he couldn’t help it.
All he wanted was to slip into bed beside your warm body and hold you close, because just as you needed his support, he needed yours. He was not an overly emotional person, but he could admit that to feel you in his arms would relieve the unbearable amount of stress he had accumulated in the last 24 hours. He had single handedly made House Lannister the most powerful and placed them on the throne; it was truly a wonder.
Tywin did not bother looking at the guards outside his door when he entered his office, he only pushed the door open with a slight sigh and carefully shut it behind him. It wouldn’t have been enough to wake you up regardless, but it was so quiet that he did not want to disturb the silence.
He fully shrugged off his coat now, draping it over his arm as he went towards the bedroom door. That one was handled carefully too, opened and closed as softly as was possible. There were a few dim candles lit, but overall the room was quite dark. He could see you, though, lying in bed with your face turned toward the door.
The candles were behind you for the most part, and it gave your figure a pleasant outline. Although, your face was partly buried in the pillow, and an odd feeling of guilt ran through Tywin. Had you been crying?
He took light steps across the room, placing his coat down on the same chair that you had left your gown. He sat down in another, reaching down to pull off his boots with a soft groan. Once he had done that, he untucked his shirt from his pants and then continued to strip. Tywin found his black robe in the dresser and promptly slipped it over his head, periodically looking over to make sure you were still asleep.
Entirely ready to sleep now, he approached your side of the bed. He lifted his hand to your face, the back of his fingers brushing against your cheek. It did not feel as though you had been crying, but it was impossible to tell. He felt the pillowcase too, and was reassured by the dryness there. No, you had not been crying.
Quietly, Tywin made his way around the bed until he reached his side, carefully lifting the blankets and getting in with as little disruption as was possible. You seemed relatively undisturbed by the shifting of the mattress, and he knew he had not woken you. Tywin laid on his back with a quiet sigh, feeling utterly relieved to finally be in bed and alone. It felt like being alone, at least, for your company was never disruptive to him.
He had been drifting to sleep, but was suddenly startled by a jolting beside him. When Tywin opened his eyes, he saw you shake beside him. He moved to reach over and hold you, but you had shot straight up with a gasp, and he could see a sort of fear in your eyes.
“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” He asked, having to clear his throat as he sat up and placed his hands on your arms. You looked over at him—as if processing that he was there—and then nodded. Something had clearly started you. “A bad dream?” he questioned, gently cupping your cheek and bringing your forehead to his lips.
“Yes, y-yes. It was just a bad dream,” you whispered in reply, swallowing. The way you said it gave the odd impression that you were trying to remind yourself of it, not that you were telling Tywin. He gave you a sympathetic look, though you did not notice.
“Come, sweet girl. Let us sleep,” Tywin whispered, slowly coaxing you back down to the mattress. He sighed out airily when you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He could feel your stress and uncertainty being relieved as you held him, and he could not keep himself from holding you with the same ferocity.
Tywin clutched at you, wrapping his arms entirely around you and pressing you to his body as much as was physically possible. He knew he wouldn’t, but there was an odd desire in him to sob. He did not want to be the king, all he wanted was to remain here with you.
“Oh Tywin…” you muttered, inhaling his scent with an overwhelming sense of comfort. Your own scent was simultaneously giving him the same feeling. You had begun to nuzzle into him, too, much as a lion would. In response, his hand had come to your hair, cupping your head as one does for an infant. It had come from some sort of protective instinct, and even knowing that there was nothing to fear, Tywin would not let go.
His queen.
With both of you feeling utterly at peace in each other's arms, it did not take long to fall asleep. You had drifted off first, and the sound of your tired breathing had sent Tywin to sleep right after you. He had been so glad to hold you, and perhaps even a bit happy that you were tired and disoriented, for you had asked no questions. Those would come in the morning, he knew.
Tywin would happily answer them then, but for now, all he wanted was sleep. And with you wrapped up in his arms, that was no strenuous task at all.
—————
Tywin had woken up before me, though he had not left our bed. When I opened my eyes, I understood that I was cuddled against his chest. However, when I looked up at his face, he was already smiling down at me.
“Goodmorning, my dear,” he said, his voice a bit deeper and harsher than usual. He must’ve not been up for long. I smiled, adjusting myself and sitting up slightly before reaching over to kiss him. Tywin gave a soft hum against my lips, hand coming to my hair as he kissed me back. The mornings that he got to stay in bed with me were always the best ones.
“Goodmorning, Tywin. What time did you come to bed last night?” I questioned, laying back down and resting my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand lifting my nightgown, and then suddenly his warm palm against my hip. He loved to feel the skin there, for some odd reason. Though, I would never complain, for I loved it too.
“Far too late. I only managed to escape the great hall at 2:00. Your nightmare woke up just after I came to bed,” he said, resting his chin on my head. I furrowed my eyebrows, as I did not remember waking from my dreams. I had experienced a nightmare, yes, but waking up because of it? I certainly could not recall that. Well, it was of no importance.
“I see. If you’d really wanted to, you would’ve left much earlier,” I said, knowing him better than that. Tywin Lannister would never do something he didn’t want to. At least not something like that.
“It would have been inappropriate.”
“Oh yes, I’m certain.”
I laughed, shaking my head at how ridiculous my husband managed to be. I suspected not a man like him had ever lived, nor ever would again. It was almost comical, for Tywin Lannister was rarer than a dragon.
“We have much to discuss,” Tywin said after a moment, instantly making my smile fade. I could hear in his voice that he similarly did not want to, but felt it necessary. He was right, of course.
“Yes, we certainly do.”
“What’s most important to me, (Y/N), is that you’re alright. You shook during the ceremony yesterday. It’s all been somewhat overwhelming and sudden, hasn’t it?” He asked softly, one of his hands reaching for mine and holding it. I nodded, sighing out and glancing around the room.
“I suppose I- well, I hadn’t even considered that you had a claim. For some reason, the only two I had suspected were Jaime and Tyrion, and when I heard men in the hall discussing that it ought to be you, it did shock me. But it’s not you being king which frightens me, it’s the idea of me being queen. I’m nothing like my sister in that regard,” I admitted, suddenly finding one of the tapestries on the wall to be the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. Tywin had it put up after our wedding, and I hadn’t really taken any appropriate amount of time to consider it. There was something so beautiful and erotic about the nude figures, and it was a perfect distraction from my embarrassment.
Tywin suddenly moved beside me, and I realized he wanted to get up from bed. I moved off him, sitting up and watching him quizzically as he went over to a drawer and rummaged around. When he seemingly did not find what he was looking for there, he left the room. I simply waited, absolutely puzzled as to what he was doing. I assumed that like always, he was trying to prove a point.
He came back in with a rather large, rolled up parchment in his hands. He set it down on the table, undoing it and then using books that were already on the table to keep it open. Tywin then turned around and motioned for me to come over. I did so, scooting off the edge of the bed and adjusting my nightgown as I walked over to him.
He had laid out a map on the table, and after a minute it clicked in my head. It was a map of King’s Landing. I raised both eyebrows at him as a signal to explain, knowing he was going to come to a point eventually.
“As you are aware, the smallfolk of King’s Landing are not entirely fond of me. If I’m to be their king, my reforms must actually have a directly positive impact on their lives. Tell me, how do I improve a city ripe with crime, disease, overcrowding, and homelessness?” Tywin questioned, gesturing to the map he had laid out. I let out a breath that was almost a laugh, feeling that the question was impossible. Staring at the map was not helping me any.
“You cannot improve all of those things single handedly, Tywin. Therefore, I cannot possibly have any ideas that would do such a thing,” I said, knowing that we needed to be realistic in this instance. He still hadn’t come to his point yet, and it was irking me.
“It’s not single handedly, I have you. But even if I didn’t, that’s not what I mean. Give me a solution to just one of those problems, please,” he said, gazing down at me with a sort of twinkle in his eye. Where was he going with this? I looked at him hesitantly for a moment, but when all I received was an expectant look I knew he was serious.
With a sigh, I turned my eyes to the map once more. Gods, the layout of Kings Landing was absolutely horrendous. It was no wonder that overcrowding was a problem just based on the way that everything was structured. And of course, overcrowding led to disease, so I supposed a solution to the overcrowding would perhaps help that as well. The idea came to me then.
“Tywin, where was Tommen’s carriage destroyed?” I asked, turning to my husband for a moment. His expression was blank, but he pointed down to a certain street on the map.
“Right around here.”
“Well surely that much wildfire must’ve destroyed some of the street and the buildings around it, right?” I questioned, feeling that it must’ve been a completely logical assumption.
“Correct. I was told that these complexes here are practically ruins now, and several of the common folk in them were either seriously injured or killed,” Tywin informed, making my heart sink a bit. To think a religious order had caused such suffering.
“I see. We ought to make sure their families are provided for at the very least, and given reassurances that the sparrows will be held responsible,” I muttered, hearing Tywin give a hum of approval beside me.
“I’ll have Varys see to that.”
“Perhaps I ought to go with him. It will appear more genuine that way. Plus, then I can inspect the site myself. The problem with Kings Landing is that it wasn't built with any particular layout, but if we can slowly rebuild with a more thought out design, then it would be able to more adequately house the smallfolk, and if there’s less overcrowding, that also means less ability for disease to spread. Sickness is bound to spread in large cities, but if we could limit the amount of families living in one house, that ought to help,” I reasoned, continually looking down at the sheet before me and trying to formulate some kind of design in my head based off of what I knew about Highgarden’s layout. Though, King’s Landing was admittedly a much different space.
“And how do you propose we go about building such a thing? To redesign and rebuild the entire city is quite a hefty task. It would displace many,” Tywin pointed out, though I shook my head in disagreement.
“Not if we do it slowly. We could also use the sept to house people, there aren’t any more nobles in need of a marriage that grand so far as I’m concerned. And as we carry it out, we could also hire the smallfolk to help build. It would improve our economy significantly and reduce the amount of unemployed and homeless, especially because the new layout would ideally use the space available most efficiently. I’m no architect or city planner, but I’m certain we could find somebody from the citadel who would be more than helpful with that matter. We ought to focus on agriculture as well, especially with the upcoming winter. It will remain relatively warm enough to plant certain crops, and it would certainly relieve a burden off of Highgarden. Plus, the more jobs available the better,” I rambled, thinking of the endless benefits that redesigning and rebuilding King’s Landing would have. If we could execute it correctly, which I was certain we could, it would be infinitely useful.
When Tywin said nothing, I looked over my shoulder at him. I had leaned over the table subconsciously, both hands spread on the map like I was planning for battle. My husband was smiling rather fondly, and I raised a curious eyebrow. What on earth was making him grin like such a fool?
“A few years ago, (Y/N), when I saw you for the first time since you were 14, I had not a clue what to expect. For a moment, I thought you had remained as immature as you were as a young girl, but you quickly proved me wrong. You had leaned over my table then, just as you are now, and told me that we would be stupid to go through that ravine, because if Stannis sent men in another direction and they realized we were coming, we would’ve been easy to repel. You were admittedly correct, and I understood that you were no longer an inexperienced child. Now you stand here, telling me exactly how we ought to earn the respect of the smallfolk and more than that, how it will be beneficial for all involved. You underestimate yourself, (Y/N), and of all my concerns, you being a good queen is not one of them. You have always been a leader, that won’t change just because the title sounds more intimidating,” Tywin explained, stepping toward me and cupping my face in his hands. My lips parted as I stared up at him, my heart somehow pounding in my chest at the sentiment he was expressing. There was something so indescribable about the way that Tywin managed to reassure me, and I often wondered how it was possible.
I reached for the fabric of his robe, pulling him closer to me and lifting my head up to show him I wished for a kiss. He chuckled softly, moving his hands from my face and grabbing my hips instead. Tywin bent down, pressing his lips to mine with a noise of satisfaction.
“You’re far too good at that,” I whispered when he pulled away, making his eyebrow raise.
“What, kissing you?”
“No. Well, yes, that too. But I meant that you’re far too good at reassuring me. I’m always in my head and you always know how to pull me out,” I said with a smile, unable to look away from my husband for even a moment. Even after all this time I was still so smitten with him.
“It’s because you often do the same for me, even if you don’t realize it,” he remarked with a kiss to my forehead.
“And speaking of, well, reassurances… the subject of succession, your succession, I mean… do you- are you still firm on the subject of children?” I asked, knowing that was one of the other things I needed to discuss with him.
“Yes, I am. Why? Has the prospect of them being a prince or princess changed your opinion on it?” He questioned in reply, a certain hesitation in his voice as he asked it, almost as if hoping that mentioning he hadn’t changed his mind wasn’t the wrong thing to say.
“No! Gods, no. I just- I wasn’t sure if… well I don’t know. Your relationship with Tyrion has certainly improved, but I didn’t have a clue if it had improved enough to make you give him the throne. You were already unsure about giving him Casterly Rock,” I pointed out, watching him nod as he listened to what I was saying. He was contemplative.
“Casterly Rock must have prestige associated with it. Jaime is no ruler, but he would not make the Lannister name an embarrassment. To have Tyrion there, whoring and drinking constantly, would be a problem. The throne has no obligations, it is expected for kings to drink and whore. Tyrion will get the throne once I am gone, and I feel quite certain he will rule far better than most,” Tywin explained, one of his hands holding mine and the other on the table, gently tapping against the wood. He quite frequently fidgeted with his fingers, I realized. I wondered if somehow it helped him process his thoughts.
“I see. That’s easily settled then,” I remarked, somewhat glad it had been resolved so easily. I had expected a much longer conversation, but I was quite satisfied. Tyrion would be a good king.
“Yes, it is.”
I thought for a moment more, and then an insecurity from the previous night came back to me. I found myself looking down, not wanting to see Tywin’s reaction as I said what was on my mind.
“You’re correct, Tywin. Kings certainly are expected to whore, drink, and hunt,” I mumbled, feeling insanely uncomfortable with the jealousy I was experiencing. Surely every woman in the seven kingdoms would be throwing herself at him now.
“(Y/N), a crown is not suddenly going to transform me. Just like any other man, I have been with whores, and I have enjoyed them, but you are my wife. I had no need to marry you, House Tyrell was already firmly tied to House Lannister. I married you because I love you, and that means I have no intentions of being unfaithful. I would hang any woman who tried to flirt with me, because I will not see our marriage insulted that way. Rest assured that you are the only woman I want, and that is not going to change just because they decided to put me on the throne,” Tywin assured me, hand coming under my chin and forcing me to look at him. He was entirely genuine, I could see it in his eyes. In all honesty, I knew everything he said was true before he had even bothered to open his mouth, but somehow hearing it outloud brought such relief.
“I merely hate the thought of women looking at you with desire.”
“And now you understand how I feel. Perhaps you’ll stop teasing so much when I get possessive.”
I laughed then, shaking my head and embracing Tywin. There was always something so lovely about knowing I was the only person with whom he acted this way. His hands were on my hips again, and when he gave them a slight squeeze I knew exactly what he was about to say.
“And believe me, none of those whores are anything like you. It left me rather unsatisfied,” he whispered, which had initially been what I expected. Then I was given quite the surprise.
“Unsatisfied?” I questioned, wondering if he was insinuating what I thought he was. He observed me for a second, as though he were debating whether or not he ought to admit something.
“About two years ago, when you left to go make negotiations with Robb Stark, I sent a description to the brothel. At that point, I was unaware that you returned my feelings. We hadn’t even kissed yet, but you were driving me mad. It was impulsive of me to do, and I felt incredibly guilty afterwards… but I- well, I couldn’t even finish with her. From behind, she certainly looked similar. Your same height, hair color, skin tone… but she wasn’t anything like you. She did not hold herself with any confidence, the sound of her voice was wrong. She did not moan how you would’ve, and when I leaned down her scent was nothing like yours. That’s when I had to stop. I paid her and asked her to leave. She wasn’t you…” he said, revealing what was probably the most shocking thing I had ever heard him say. I was trying to process my feelings, but in all honesty I had no idea what to feel. How are you supposed to feel about learning that a man fucked a whore with you in mind? More than anything, I was just surprised. I hadn’t even considered that Tywin desired me at that point in time.
“Tywin…” I whispered, not sure what else to say. It was the only thing that would escape my throat. Should I be offended that he had done it? Should I be flattered? There certainly was something erotic about the idea that I had driven him so mad with lust he had gone so far as to find a whore that looked like me. But at the same time, I hated the idea of him fucking another woman. He was mine. Although, as he had said, that was exactly why he’d stopped. She wasn’t me.
“You had been in my room in the last day or two. We had discussed something, I don’t remember what, but you had sat on my bed. You’d been fidgeting with the lace on one of the pillows, I remember that much. You left your scent on it, and that night… when I realized…” he trailed off, and it seemed that just the memory of it had sparked lust in him. I swallowed, instantly understanding. Yes, I was decided. That was utterly erotic.
Suddenly I was picturing Tywin naked, laying in bed that night with a sort of disappointment that the whore had not fulfilled his desire for me. I imagined him turning over and suddenly inhaling a familiar scent. He would flare his nostrils a few times, discovering that something smelled just like me. He would check the pillows around him, and then he would find the one that I had left my perfume on. Tywin would proceed to inhale deeply, and the lust would spark in him again. He’d reach down, touching himself as the scent consumed him entirely and he shut his eyes.
I came back to the present after picturing that, and I felt the heat in my cheeks. To think of Tywin in such a context was entirely new, but I found that I liked it.
“Until that night, I hadn’t been with a whore since weeks before the Battle of Blackwater. Once I had spoken to you again, (Y/N), you became my only desire. You called me an insufferable cunt, fine, I would prove you otherwise. Nobody had ever dared to say such a thing, and what had piqued my interest was that I knew you did not mean it just to be insulting, it was genuinely what you thought of me. When I wasn’t working, I was thinking of you. And when those thoughts became different in their nature, I did what I thought would satisfy the urge. No. No, it most certainly did not. I couldn’t have anything less than you, I discovered. Nothing ever has and nothing ever will compare to you, (Y/N).”
I felt my heart pounding with his words, so overwhelming was the love inside of me. Suddenly I could not keep myself off of my husband. I instantly kissed him, grabbing at his hair and moaning into his mouth. He did the same in response, and every touch was so raw and genuine. He lifted me from the ground then, letting me wrap my legs around his waist as he took me over to the bed.
He sat me on the edge of the mattress, standing between my legs as his lips grasped at mine. Gods, it wasn’t even 9:00 yet and we were already like this. His hands had come to my thighs, and he had to pull away for a moment, absolutely breathless.
“(Y/N)… (Y/N)…” he muttered, pressing his forehead to mine. I cupped his cheeks, swallowing and catching my own breath.
“I love you, Tywin… I love you so much,” I whispered, smiling slightly and looking into his eyes. He also smiled softly, removing his hands from my thighs and embracing me instead. It seemed that we were both equally emotional and lust-filled.
“I love you far more than I ought to, (Y/N). My queen… my Nightshade of the Garden… my wife,” he said softly, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. He kissed me again, softer this time. I responded the exact same way.
It was an interesting thought, that I truly had no idea what would come next for us. I found that I did not care, for it did not matter. Tywin and I would continue on, just as we always did.
—————
“You look very handsome, your grace. The sash fits well.”
“It’s not your grace just yet, Cerella. And he does look handsome, even if perhaps a bit gloomy.”
I was fixing up Tywin’s outfit for the coronation, and he had decided on his black coat with the lions on the shoulders. On top of that, I had fixed a golden sash around his torso, as I was trying to prevent him from looking too plain.
“I do not appreciate your jokes,” Tywin mumbled, which only made me smile even more as I adjusted his belt. He was simply so easy to tease.
“Have you ever considered taking the black, husband? I feel confident they would allow you to keep your wardrobe,” I jested further, finally stepping away from him and feeling satisfied with his appearance. Cerella had brought in my own dress and was presently waiting for me to strip out of my nightgown.
“Ha! If I did, it would leave you begging,” he replied snarkily, only continuing to grin when I smacked his arm.
“Do you hear him, Cerella? My husband is surely the most insufferable cunt in all seven kingdoms,” I scoffed, undoing some of the lace on my nightgown and pulling it over my head. My undergarments had followed, of course, and Tywin had pretended not to notice my nudity as he ran a hand over his hair in the mirror.
“Here, my lady,” Cerella replied, handing me a fresh set to put on. She had not addressed my claim, but was smiling in a way that told me she appreciated the joke. I supposed that after serving the two of us for so long, she’d been forced to become accustomed to our constant teasing and yapping.
I pulled on the clean undergarments, and I held still as she assisted me with the lacing of my stay. After that came my gown, of course, which was a deep scarlet red. The top had minimal gold and white detail, for on top of my dress I was wearing a beautiful porcelain corset. It had absolute gorgeous ornamentation, with perfected gold detailing along the edges and roses painted on it. It had been a gift for my 24th name day, and I hadn’t found an occasion for it until now.
“You look absolutely stunning, my lady,” Cerella said as she helped me put it on. I smiled at her for a moment, and then I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. It certainly was quite the sight. Cerella had done my hair beforehand too, wanting to make sure that everything would stay in place.
“Yes, she does. You’re breathtaking, wife,” Tywin noted, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my hips, just below the corset. I hadn’t even realized he was watching, in all honesty.
“Well, my husband is being made into the king of all seven kingdoms today. If that isn’t a good occasion to be wearing this, I don’t know what is,” I remarked, watching Cerella step back and take my dirty nightclothes out. Tywin and I were left alone after a moment.
“I have something to give you, (Y/N). I’m not certain what jewelry you were planning to wear, but I think you ought to consider this.”
I watched him retrieve a flat, square box from his dresser with a small smirk on his face. I was suspicious of him, just as I always was. Tywin brought it over to me, and I turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. Carefully, he opened the case and revealed an absolutely stunning necklace. It made me gape, and I quite honestly had no clue what to say in reply.
“What do you think?” he questioned, lifting his gaze from the jewelry up to me. I managed to avert my eyes too, though with quite some difficulty.
“It’s gorgeous, Tywin. Would you- would you help me put it on?” I asked softly, watching the satisfaction settle in his eyes. He said nothing, but nodded and motioned for me to turn around. I did so, watching him move around in the mirror and remove the necklace from its case. I adjusted my hair as he came up behind me, and I could feel his breath against my ear as he hung the thing from my neck. I felt the gentle clasp of it, and he carefully removed his hands. For such a gorgeous, detailed necklace, it was not nearly as heavy as I had suspected. I put my hair back in place with a sort of entrancement.
“It looks beautiful on you,” Tywin said after a moment, still standing right behind me and admiring my reflection. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around my waist and let his head lean against mine.
“I think this would look beautiful on anyone, Tywin. Maybe even on you,” I jested, though there was no humor in my voice. Something about seeing myself this way was shocking, and I could not tear my eyes away. I looked like a queen.
“No, I doubt that. I had it specifically made for you, the measurements are specific. You are the only woman who’s ever been meant to wear it,” he said, his voice low and clear. I placed my hands on top of his, swallowing and then letting my lips part with a sort of overwhelmed feeling.
“I wonder, Tywin, if you will ever stop spoiling me like a child,” I remarked, finally looking at him. As well as I could, anyways, for our faces were rather close.
“I have never spoiled you like a child. I have spoiled you like a wife—as you deserve,” he replied, placing a chaste kiss against my neck. I leaned into him, a sort of warmth filling me. To think this man had been my worst enemy a few years ago was incredibly odd, for now he was the most important person in my life. To think that a cut, a sword, and a set of armor might’ve changed my life forever.
There was a knock at our door which I recognized as Cerella’s, and I knew it must be time for us to leave. I moved myself from Tywin’s grasp, though I took his arm once I had. From there, we made our way out of the tower of the hand and down to the throne room. The walk was quiet, but the entire time Tywin kept me close. Occasionally, he would look over at me and hold my gaze for a few moments before looking away. I wondered if perhaps he was trying to make sure I was still there, as stupid as that sounded.
When we reached the double doors, I felt him take a deep breath and noticed his gaze set firmly on the wood in front of us. I pressed my lips together, blinking a few times as I debated whether or not I should ask him how he was doing. I decided it would do little harm.
“Are you alright, Tywin?”
“Of course.”
It was kurt, and perhaps a bit sharper than he had intended. He was stressed, I understood. He was not easily made this way, either, and I felt awful. The man standing beside me was not only Tywin, he was the king. In this moment, the second identity had to be worn.
“I did not mean to use such a tone,” he said after a minute or so, finally looking at me. There was the husband again.
“It’s alright, Tywin. You don’t need to apologize. Not today,” I whispered, giving him a sympathetic look. A sort of relief settled in his face, as though he was at least glad I was not upset by what he had said. I had learned Tywin well enough to know it was not truly him.
Slowly, the double doors were pulled open and the two of us were shown to the entire court. My heart skipped a beat, as if I was suddenly processing that we both were on public display. With a swallow, I stepped forward in sync with Tywin, looking straight ahead in spite of my nerves and desire to observe every face. Margaery would inform me of looks afterwards, I was certain.
There was a silence in the room as Tywin and I walked through the isle, heading straight up to the throne. It was almost like a moment of peace, a moment of time that nobody else existed in. I found that I could not resist the urge to look at Tywin, and even despite his appearance as king today, he looked back at me. Oh, and those eyes. Those blue, blue eyes with their green flecks. I loved this man so much.
We reached the platform then, and together we ascended up the steps. I made eye contact with Kevan, who Tywin had chosen as Hand of the King, for he never wanted politics to cause strife in our marriage. Although, both of us were aware that I would continue to be his most trusted source of guidance and advice. And, it was a good thing Kevan was hand too, for I did not want to relinquish our chambers in the tower and he had no problem whatsoever taking the kings instead. The bed was bigger in there, but Tywin and I had no problem sleeping close together.
It was Kevan who I had expected to stand beside at the ceremony, too, but Tywin did not drop his arm. With an open mouth, I found myself standing in front of the throne with him, and there was a smug look on his face.
“Let them see that the queen has every bit of power that the king does. Your title is owed a crown,” he whispered before we turned around to look upon the crowd. I was still somewhat shocked, but I did not let it show as we faced everyone.
Tywin’s arm detached from mine then, but he then opted to grab my hand instead. He was certainly full of surprises today, and I could not keep myself from giving a subtle smile when his hand squeezed mine.
The high septon was behind us, and once Tywin and I had settled in, he began with the ceremonials. I—in all honesty—was not listening to what he was saying whatsoever. Tywin had been running his thumb up and down the side of my hand for the last several minutes, and that was all I could focus on. That and the two crowns I had noticed in the corner of my eye. One was much larger, and had the face of a lion upon it. The other was about the size of my head, and was covered in thorns and roses.
The high septon had been going on about the seven blessing and guiding Tywin for at least 10 minutes now, and I hadn’t really processed what was being said until I was mentioned. It was not something that had ever been said in a coronation before, at least as far as I was concerned, and Tywin had given me the most fulfilled of looks when he’d heard it.
“And may his lady wife support him in all his endeavors and be a pillar of strength in the crown. May she show love, compassion, and kindness to all in the kingdoms, and lead just as bravely as the man beside her. The Queen (Y/N) Tyrell, long may she reign,” he said, placing the golden crown of roses atop my head. Its weight was pleasant, and the echo of ‘long may she reign’ from everyone in the hall sent a slight shiver up my spine. Tywin squeezed my hand once more.
After that, the High Septon moved on to Tywin, and I was unable to remove my eyes from my husband. He looked every bit the king, standing tall with his perfect posture and elegant coat. The High Septon held the crown above his head, and with a shout of ‘long may he reign,’ it was placed upon his head.
“Long may he reign,” I repeated with the rest of the crowd, smiling at the sight of the golden lion upon Tywin’s white hair. It matched the blonde strands that remained on the edges of his head and his cheeks.
Loud applause filled the room for King Tywin, first of his name, and I experienced the sort of feeling that one gets before battle. The feeling of rallying your men, of hearing them cheer as they prepare to die for you. Would these men fight for my husband? Would they die for him? I would.
Tywin looked over at me then, and when our eyes met I knew everything would be alright, somehow. There were trials to come, I knew, but it was impossible to feel frightened when the man beside me was looking at me the way he was. Tywin and I had faced everything together for the last few years, and I had no doubt in my mind that we would continue to do so now.
“My Queen,” Tywin muttered, lifting our hands and kissing the back of mine. It was as if he had forgotten everyone in the hall was there, even as their applause continued to ring in our ears. I smiled even more now, looking up at my husband with utter adoration. Every choice I’d made in my life had been the right one, for I could not imagine living without this man. The Great Lion of the Rock and the Nightshade of the Garden.
Tywin Lannister, I could say confidently, was the most important thing in my life. The man I trusted, guided, received guidance from. But most importantly he was the man I loved. They said that Westeros had not seen a match such as ours in centuries, if ever. And standing beside Tywin in front of the throne, his hand in mine and our eyes stuck on each other, I had the odd sensation that they never would again. For how could they?
I could not imagine another tale such as ours, with the hatred of him in my youth turning to eventual friendship in my adulthood, and then that friendship eventually turning to love. Tywin and I had fought wars together, settled conflict together, and kept all seven kingdoms intact together. What other couple could boast that? None. None could. There were no couples like us. There were no people like us. There was only us.
My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Tywin’s hand at my waist, and I realized that he was pulling me towards him. Before all present in the hall, he kissed me. Tywin was passionate, and yet simultaneously loving. I could not resist the urge to smile as I kissed back, the sensation of his familiar lips causing a wave of utter contentment to wash over me. A sense of peace. When Tywin pulled away, he smiled at me. It wasn’t even a small smile, it was genuine and raw. And I could see in his eyes, it was not the crown atop his head that had made him smile. It had been me, standing right beside him as the High Septon had placed it atop his head. I kissed him once more, with not a single care as I did so.
For they would never see our like again.
TAGLIST:
@cheyxfu @lemonscoffee @groovy-lady
@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter
@prettykinkysoul
@fullmoonshadowwrites @kishie8
@the-desilittle-bird @dianilaws @girlonfireice
@muscari-fae @lostgirllulu
@abigfanofgameofthrones @smalltownbigheart
@frombloodandflesh @supernaturalismyreligion666
@thanyatargaryen @rey26 @hexandale @pkawaiidesu5394 @aimsro
#tywin lannister#tywin lannister x reader#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#house lannister#charles dance#tywin x reader#asoiaf#a lion in the garden
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The break up pt3
Summary:where Jude is Determined to get to the bottom of the reader's distress after finding her at Jobe's Match
⚠️mentions of abuse and physical abuse⚠️
A/n: This is still written from Jude's POV like pt.2 also don't play the song yet I'll let you know when to play it
We just got home from Jobe's match and he's obviously much calmer then he was when we left the house
"Ok what's the first order of business, Mr.stalker"
"Don't call me that, and the first thing we need to do is search all my fanpages"
"Why are we doing that"
"If this guy posted those pictures that we took together, which he most likely did, the fan pages will tag him and reveal his profile
"So what we're just going to wait until he posts the picture?"
"Exactly" I say
"For a detective, you're a very horrible one"
"Patience is the key to success"
"I wonder where that will get you"
After waiting for about 2 hours one of the fan accounts posted the picture of me and the guy with a tag to his profile
The rest of the night is spent trying to find any information that we can but everything is just a dead end
Y/n hasn't posted anything since we broke up, her "boyfriend" also doesn't post either unless it's on his story and he doesn't have anything highlighted so we can't even see previous stories that he's posted
"Don't you think it's time to give it all up?, we've been at it for hours" Jobe asks
"Jobe, I think I've actually lost her, there's no way we're going to find her now, nothing on her account indicates where she could be, or where she could Be living"
"Jude I think it's time to let it go"
I sigh not knowing what to so next
"I think I'm gonna go to bed" I say
"Why don't you just find someone else to be with I'm sure it won't be that difficult"
"But that's the thing I don't want anyone else, I want her, and the time I actually want to care for her and help her she's not reachable, I feel so stupid, she was right there In front of me and I didn't do anything, I didn't approach or try to at least make contact, I just stood there"
"You're being hard on yourself"
"This is the punishment I have to face for what I did"
"You went to therapy"
"It clearly isn't enough"
"You'll get over it Jude, sooner or later you will get over it and you'll look back on this moment and you'll laugh"
I give him a tight lipped smile as I can see that he's trying to cheer me up, I mean I love Jobe but sometimes the idiot is just annoying, most of the time he's supportive and is always there as my comfort
I call it a night and go to bed and fall asleep, well I try to fall asleep, I just lie awake staring at the ceiling
For the next 3-4 days my family and I are spending quality time and sharing family moments and making memories
"Jude, c'mon mate we're gonna be late for the reservation"
"Bro what are you on about I'm the only one that's ready amongst the four of us"
After everyone is dressed and ready to go to the restaurant that we usually go to when we spend family time
When we arrive we order our food and coverstation starts flowing
I glance out the window and see a woman walking with her child in a pram/stroller
That's Y/n, she looks totally oblivious to her environment around her and doesn't seem to notice the truck coming up next to her as she's crossing the street
I quickly get up and run out of the restaurant to try and save the baby that is about to be killed
I run as fast as I can and make it just in time to pull the pram/stroller back onto the pavement/sidewalk
All that seems to have snapped y/n out of her trans and she looks at me like she's only just noticing my presence now
(Play the song)
"What are you doing here Jude"
"I was saving this baby"
"From what?"
"The truck"
"What truck?"
"The one that was about to kill the baby"
She sight and whispers "not again" under her breath
"Give me my baby back" she says
"Your baby?"
"Yeah"
I hand the baby back to her and she takes him and places him back into the pram/stroller
"Hey listen why don't you come back home with us, you look out of it right now and it's obviously not safe for the baby, i'll drive you back home"
"No thanks"
"C'mon y/n don't be like that, I promise I'm not going to do anything, you're free to leave any time you want"
"Fine" she says
I call the rest of my family and they greet Y/n, we go back home after our dinner date was cut jot due to the events that took place
When we arrive back home mum won't let this child go, she just refuses to put him down
Y/n sits on the couch like she's scared she'll ruin something
"Can I get you something?" I ask
"No thank you"
"C'mon y/n, don't be like that, let's talk"
"Jude I've got a lot of things on my plate right now to be stressing or talking about the past"
"I don't like the way we ended things"
"We wouldn't have had to end things if you had just kept it in your pants"
I look down in my lap not being able to face her and look her in the eyes
"I'm sorry"
"How many times have I heard those words"
"This time I mean it"
"Whatever, can I have my child back now, I wanna leave, coming here was a mistake"
"Before you go I have one more thing to ask"
"What?"
"Is he mine"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because he looks like me"
"So?"
"That's usually an indicator of parental relation"
"Give me back my baby"
"Answer the question"
"I don't owe you anthing"
"I deserve to know, did you cheat on me?"
"Oh please Jude I am not like you, I don't cheat on people I'm in a relationship with"
"Then why won't you tell me"
"Because I don't want to"
"That's not an answer"
"Well then shame, give me my baby"
"Answer the question is that little boy in there my son"
She's silent
"Answer"
"Yes, he is"
To be continued...
Kidding, continue reading
"You kept that all away from me?, didn't you think I deserved to know?"
"Remember the day I left you, we had reservations made at a restaurant and we couldn't go because you'd forgotten we had plans and you came home drunk"
I nod my head indicating that I understand
"That was the day I was gonna tell you, that you and I would be parents"
"But still you should've told me"
"You came back home drunk, you'd forgotten the dinner reservations, you came back home with a hikey on your neck and having a feminine smell on your clothes, I obviously was'nt gonna tell you"
I step closer to her and place my hands on her arms and slightly grip on her arms
She flinches like I've just hit her
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah"
"I'm so sorry"
"I refuse to do this with you Jude" she says moving away from my hold
I try to ignore her rejection but I can't it's right there and I can't ignore it
"Can I have my child back now"
"He's our child"
"You were not there when he was born, all your rights of being a father have been revoked"
"I didn't know if I knew I would have been there"
"Well it's not my fault you decided to cheat, you made the choices you made and I never pressured you to do any of the things you did"
"So what are you going to do now?, this boy needs a father in his life, how are you going to fill the shoes of both a mother and a father?"
"I won't need to, because he already has a father"
"Who?"
"Chase"
"Who, the guy you were with at the stadium?"
"Yeah"
"You can't do that"
"Watch me, now I'm leaving"
"You convinced another guy that he was the father of our child"
"Oh no he knows, he's just there for support and to fill in the shoes you can't"
"Bit harsh innit"
"Whatever Jude"
She's about to go to the Kitchen to get the baby from my mom but I pull her by her long sleeve and it reveals her shoulder where I see a bruise
"What's that?" I ask
She looks at her shoulder and quickly pulls her shirt up
I have to get out of here" she says and walks away but before she can do that I pull her back
I take her arm and pull her sleeve up to reveal more bruises
"What happened"
"I bumped myself"
"You must have bumped yourself a lot of times then"
"Yeah I did"
"You're lying"
"What?"
"You're lying"
"What makes you say that"
"Your lip slightly twitches when you lie, but you have to watch it closely or else you miss it"
"You're such a creep"
"It's not creepy to notice, things about a person it just means I pay attention to the small things"
"Yeah well I notice small things as well"
"Oh yeah like what?"
"Like I notice how before every match you go to the pitch and you step in with your left foot then right, point each foot before crossing the line, poke the grass and wipe of the dirt of your pants"
"Yeah well that's not really something" I say
"Oh what about, when you're nervous"
"What do I do when I'm nervous"
"You wipe your eyebrows with your right hand, wiping your left first then your right"
"Ok fine then, I guess you do pay attention"
"See, I always pay attention to the little things"
"Yeah,and it seems like I can as well" I say
She pulls her hand out of mine and walks away
"Y/n, is he abusing you?"
She stops in her tracks and doesn't turn around
"No, he doesn't"
"Turn around"
She slowly turns around and looks down to the floor, I walk closer to her and lift her head up with my finger
"Does he abuse you"
"No" she says
"Your lip twitched"
"No it didn't"
"Y/n it did"
"No it didn't"
"So he abuses you"
"Sometimes"
"How often is somtimes?"
"Depends on what happens"
"What would provoke him to beat you?"
"If his favorite football team doesn't win, if I don't do something the way he wants me too, if the baby is crying and I can't keep him quiet"
"Y/n, that's not right"
"It's fine"
"No it's not"
"Jude it's fine, I've gotten use it"
"I'm gonna kill him, where is he"
"Jude stop , I have to live with it, I can't leave him, he took everything from me, he forced me to quit my job, took away my savings and took away any assets that I had for myself"
It's quiet for some time and I look at her and she looks like she's thinking about a lot
"Is my taste in men really that bad, am I really that desperate for love that even when there are clear and obvious signs that I'm not loved I still stay?" She asks herself crying
"What do you mean? I ask
" I was in love with a man that cheates then got pregnant by him, then I moved out and got into a relationship with an abuser and now I have nothing"
"Y/n, there aren't any words in this world to Express how sorry I am for everything that I've done to you, I just really need you to know that, and I'm working on myself i really am, I've started going to therapy and my therapist says that I've made a lot of progress"
"That's very good for you Jude, I'm proud of you for finally taking my advice, I know how scared you were"
She moves to the sofa and sits in silence, I move to the sofa next to her and sit next to her and we sit In silence until I break it
"Come live with me"
"What"
"I'm not saying get back together with me, I'm just saying come live with me, you and our baby boy, we'll co parent and that's as far as our relationship will go, we'll share the responsibilities of parents and we can help eachother"
"I don't know Jude"
"Please, I want to prove that I can be a good father and that I can be there for my son, I want to be present in my child's life"
"What about Chase?"
As she says that her phone rings, she looks at her phone then back at me
"It's him"
"Hello?"
"Yeah, I decided to take Enzo for a walk, he was restless and he didn't want to sleep so I thought I should take him out a bit"
"Yeah, we're on our way home soon"
"Yeah, I'll cook"
"He won't make a noise, yeah I promise it won't happen again"
"Bye, I love you too"
She hangs the phone and looks at me
"You're not going back there, I won't allow it, if I let you go there how do I know that you'll be safe?"
"Jude, please don't make this difficult"
"Y/n, I'm not letting you leave this house to go to an abuser"
"Stop"
"No"
"Jude"
"Y/n"
"Fine, but if he comes for me or my son you will be held responsible"
"Deal, so does that mean you're moving in with me?"
"Well I have no where else to go, my mother disowned me, and she doesn't know about Enzo, so yeah I guess we are"
"Great, we leave next week, so get everything you need cause we won't be back in England for some time"
"Ok but how am I suppose to do that with Chase as our obstacle, all our clothes and things are there in the house"
"We'll sneak into the house when he's at work and take your things"
"Ok"
"We'll leave tomorrow, for now just get comfortable and don't stress about anything"
"Thank you Jude"
"You're welcome y/n"
"Where is Enzo?"
"With my mom, c'mon I'll show you the guest room"
We walk upstairs and I show her to the guest room
"Here you are"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome, get some rest, I'll take care of Enzo"
"Ok thanks, remember he doesn't like to be held like a baby, also when you feed him use a spoon not a teaspoon, he doesn't like it, place a bib on him because he always makes a mess and if you want to put him to sleep hold him close to your chest and play late 90s-Early2000s R&B songs, he's just weird like that I don't know I think he gets it from you"
"Ok, don't worry I'll look after him"
"Thank you"
"No problem"
I walk out of the room and head downstairs to find everyone cooing at Enzo
"Are they staying?" Mom asks
"Yeah, they are, actually we're moving I
together"
"What?"
"They are coming with us to Madrid next week"
"Oh ok that's great" mom says
"So is he your child?"
"Yeah he is"
"Why didn't she tell you about him?" Dad asks
"Dad I wasn't honest with you when I told you the reason for My break up with y/n"
"Why did you do?"
"I cheated on her multiple times and eventually she got fed up and left but it turns out when she left she was pregnant with my child and she didn't tell me, because I had upset her"
"My gosh Jude, how can you mess up like that"
"I know, I know but now we're ok we're moving in together and I've been going to therapy so I'm working on bettering myself"
"So you're getting back together?"
"No we're not, we just gonna be co parenting and sharing responsibilities because Y/n's boyfriend has been abusive towards her and just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I can't protect her"
"Well I'm glad, you know I've always wanted to be a grandma" mom says
"But taking care of a child is not easy" dad says
"That's why we'll have eachother"
"And me" mom says
I give her a thankful look and she smiles at me
"We going to get her and Enzo's things tomorrow, it's just clothes so we'll be fine"
"And what if you meat her boyfriend there, then what?"
"We won't, and even if we do he won't try anything,especially with me there"
"Ok Jude, but just be careful, you don't know what he's capable of" Mom says
"I will, I promise,Where's Enzo"
"Who?"
"The baby"
"That's his name?"
"Yeah"
"Oh how cute"
"Yeah, it is anyway where is he, he probably hasn't eaten"
I pick him up and walk to the kitchen to try and find something to each, I finally decide to in mash potatoes since he can't eat solid foods yet
After making the mashed potatoes I sit on the couch and place a towel on my leg because y/n said it gets messy when he eats
after feeding him and swiping his mouth I try to put him to sleep
So I walk to my room, switch the speaker on and put them on low volume so it's not so loud, I take my shirt off and carry him and he lays his head on my chest right by my heart and I start swaying from side to side while lightly singing along with the song
He eventually falls asleep, but I don't want to lay him down yet, and as if on queue the door opens to reveal y/n
"Hi" she says
"Hey"
"Is he asleep"
"Yeah, he is, your advice worked, he wasn't restless at all"
"Wait until you actually see his restless side, it won't be so pretty
"Yeah I can imagine, hey are ready to leave tomorrow?"
"Yeah a bit nervous but I'm ready"
"Ok, well if you need anything just let me know"
"Yeah, I just wanted to check on Enzo, Denise told me he was with you"
"Yeah"
"Ok well uhm if you need me I'll be in the guest room"
"I'll bring him in a few moments"
"Ok"
She leaves the room and closes the door on her way out leaving us both with her scent
I sigh and continue swaying from side to side with my son in my arms
After about an hour and 30 minutes I walk out of the room and walk to the guest room where y/n is
I knock on the door and she opened the door
"I just came to bring him back"
"Oh yeah, uhm you can place him on the bed"
I walk into the room and place Enzo on t3 bed and he coos
"Thanks "
"Yeah,oh and by the way we're leaving at 8:00 am Tomorrow"
"Ok, I'll see you Tomorrow"
"Great"
I leave the room and go to my own and just let the say sink in
After some time I decide to go to bed and sleep but like always I can't and I just end up starting at the ceiling until I hear my bedroom door open
"Jude?" I hear y/n voice in the dark
"Mh"
"Are you asleep?"
"No, what do you need"
"Enzo won't stop crying and I've tried everything but nothing is working, do you mind taking him, maybe he'll settle down"
"Sure bring him over" I say
She walks over towards me and places Enzo next to me, but he cries even more
Y/n picks him up and starts bouncing up and down trying to calm him down
"Come here" I say
"What?"
"Just trust me"
"Ok"
She gets into bed next to me
"Now what" she asks
"Lye on the bed and get comfortable"
She sighs but does it anyway
I do the same and enzo lies on his back and stops crying immediately
Cheeky little thing
After a few minutes I finally fall asleep.
The next day
It 7:30 in the morning and y/n and I need to leave the house in 30 minutes
We reach the apartment at 8:30 and she opens the door to the apartment and to say it was a mess would be an understatement
There were empty beer bottles lying everywhere on the floor broken glass, a couch that looked like it came from the junk yard every piece of furniture was horrible
"I'll get started" y/n says breaking me out of my trans
"Ok"
I walk around the apartment and the more I walk the more in disbelief I am, the fact that Enzo had to live here and how much abuse Y/n had to endure
I walk into a room that looks like it was once a baby's room but the cradle is in a pile of wood like it was smashed and in the corner is a mattress with a huge stain of blood in the middle with a blanket and a pillow
Y/n walks into the room
"I'm done packing"
"So quickly?"
"Yeah well there was not much anyway"
"Ok, let's go then"
We leave the apartment and drive back home in silence
"So I noticed there was no bed there, where did you and Enzo sleep"
"On the Mattress that you saw in the baby room"
"The one that had a huge stain on it?"
"Yeah"
"How did the blood get there"
"He'd hit me very hard one day and it was painful I could barely recognize my face in the mirror and instead of putting ice on my wounds I just slept on the mattress and bled there and I tried to wash the stain but it never came off , so I just cuddled him like teddy bear"
"I'm sorry, you had to go through that?"
"It's fine"
When we arrive at home Enzo is fast asleep thanks to my mother
"Hey mom"
"Hi love, you alright?"
"Yeah, we got everything we needed"
"Oh that's great, Enzo is asleep"
"Ok, thank you Denise"
"No problem love"
"Uhm y/n, I forgot to tell you but I got a message from Madrid yesterday and we have to cut our stay short, we need to leave the day after tomorrow"
"So this is our last day here?"
"Yeah it is but we'll come back eventually"
"It's fine, it's not like I have anything keeping me here"
"Ok, just be ready"
"Yeah I will, anyway I'm going to take a shower"
"Ok"
She walks upstairs and heads to the bathroom
"You still like her don't you?"
"Unfortunately, more then I would like to admit it"
"Just take it slow ok, think about your baby boy and everything will fall into place"
"Yeah, but she seems resistant"
"She's heartbroken Jude, she's obviously going to start pushing all her Male interests away"
"Yeah, I guess you're right"
2 days later
"Bye love, we'll see you soon ok , and we'll call you as soon as we arrive
"Ok mom, I love you"
"I love you too Jobe"
We say goodbye to Jobe and dad because we're going back to Spain
The time I spent here was nice I really enjoyed myself and I found y/n after I had no hope of finding her and I found out I had a son which is also amazing but I'm concerned for y/n I think she needs therapy after the things she went through she'll definitely need it
After we arrive in Madrid, we drop mom off at her house we go back to mine and the minute we walk in y/n scopes the house
"I haven't been here in a while"
"Everything is still where you left it"
"Thanks, we'll tale the guest room"
"Cool"
She walks away with her and Enzo's bags then comes back to get Enzo
"Goodnight Jude"
"Goodnight Y/n"
She walks away toward the guest room
"Oh hey I was thinking, what do you think of going to Therapy, you know maybe get someone to talk to about your trauma and stuff"
"I'll think about it"
"Ok"
"Thanks for the suggestion"
"No problem"
"And I promise I'll be out of your hair soon, I'll find a job and move out, but you'll still get to see Enzo, we'll have 50/50 % of custody over him"
"No don't be in a rush to move out, you can stay for as long as you need to"
"I don't think that's gonna work, well goodnight"
"Goodnight"
And she's gone, she's so close yet so far
#judebellingham#football fanfic#romance#world cup#x reader#fan fiction#football#love#soccer fanfiction#imagine#reader#judebellingham fanfic#jude x reader#jude#jude bellingham fanfiction#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#jude victor willliam bellingham#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#soccer fan fiction#soccer#england squad#hot footballers#footballer#football fanfiction
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Hi! Your page is so cute!
Would you please do a oneshot WLW of Abby and reader hanging out after a long day of patrol, they watch movies whilst a storm is outside?
I LOVE FLUFF <3
cheers big ears :3
A SILENT NIGHT IN
I hardly feel like I’m going to make it; With each step the knives dig into my soles. I’ve been out on the front for the past few days, and most of that time was spent on my feet. If I had spent any longer out there I would’ve deteriorated into a pile flesh, bones and sweat. So when the vine entrenched ferris wheel that graces the pier creeps into my view, I can’t help but feel relief wash over my sapped body. But even then, I consider whether it was worth the trek. I denied the more welcoming option of my bed, for a comforting presence. Three days since I had been dispatched to the FOB, three days without the company of my girl.
The first few weeks after the WLF took my cousin and I in, I was despondent to their fast pace of living. It was and still is a completely different world to the quaint, agrarian compound I was born in to. On top of that, we hadn’t been around such an amount of people in our lives; Seattle was a bustling city, and we were small country kids. But as I tried to keep up with the cyclic demands of my new superiors, my social life collapsed. My brain couldn’t cope with the needs of both. Abby was the one to save me from my sullen pit. I think, even if I maintained an intimidating demeanour, she could see my aptitude to isolate. She saw me. So she began partnering with me on paired patrols, inviting me to group meets, and despite my dejection I found her care and enthusiasm began to rub off on me. Eventually, I was out of my pit and we became close friends.
From then onwards, we would hardly ever spend time apart; She didn’t know it, or at least I hadn’t mentioned it, but her and my cousin are my glue. These passing days have been a test of my physical and mental strength, so you can imagine the beams of happiness that seeped through me as I see her pull open the aquarium doors.
“Hey you! You got my note?” Her face looks flushed with the same happiness that is embellishing me.
“Why else would I be here?” I spout jovially. She grins and gestures for me to enter. The decorations from Christmas are still strewn over the entrance hall; The giant model whale looks as if its wearing a glowing pearl necklace. The thought sends a ripple of joy through me.
Abby’s clement tone draws me out of my daydream, “So, how was your first weekend along the front?” She walks over to the front desk and perches on the edge, her gaze welcoming and warm.
I try to be honest.
“It was okay I think. Not easy, but not as terrible as I expected it to be. It definitely didn’t live up to your hellish stories.” I snicker.
She scoffs at my sass, “They’re not hellish! Just… honest. At least for me.”
“If you say so.” I chirp back.
We spend a moment in gentle silence, seemingly rejuvenated by each others presence. I take this quiet moment to absorb the entrance hall in its christmassy nostalgia. It feels like years ago I’d had a proper Christmas, but I doubt my ability to enjoy it now. An intake of breath shoots through the silent air, “I’ve got a surprise for you. I thought you might need a pick-me-up after all your hard work.” I see an excited glint shine across her eyes. I can tell she’s been waiting for me to arrive. I endorse her, “What? Really? What is it?” I struggle to contain my unceasing bundle of questions, her happiness is completely contagious.
“Follow me, it’s upstairs.” She places a guiding hand on the base of my back and softly pushes me in and toward the stairs. Her touch sends laps of tenderness across my skin. We enter the upstairs room, also still adorned with festivities and twinkling lights. A wonky, wilted Christmas tree with a haphazard array of baubles and tinsel is tucked away in the corner, waiting to be cloistered into its cupboard. A gentle scatter of snow dances in the evening blue. My eyes dance with them.
In my periphery I see Abby leaned against what looks like a large black box rested on top of a dusty cabinet. She’s doing a shit job of hiding it because it is immediately apparent as to what the surprise is.
“Oh my god. Abby you’re kidding me! Where did you find this?” I gush. Unable to form any coherent sentence, I run my hand over it’s dusty black casing of the TV in awe. I am unintentionally drawn back into my childhood, the memory of Sunday movie nights momentarily thawing my heart.
“It’s been here a while, Owen and I found it shoved in one of the cupboards so we thought we’d try and fix it up.” I fail to muster anything other than a radiant beam.
“Well… do you want to watch something?” She queries hopefully.
Before I can answer, reality crushes me. My next rotation is in less than 6 hours, despite only being back from the front for 4. I’ll be lucky to get a wink of sleep.
“Abby, I’d love to but I can’t-” Despite my harsh truth, her face is still riddled with roguery. My brow furrows in confusion, her mischievous appeal stopping me in my tracks.
“What did you do?” I question amusedly. She rubs the back of her neck, “I might have marked you and I a day off tomorrow,” she remarks sarcastically. She’s so pleased with herself. I see right through her.
Time slipped out of our grasps, and soon the evening had drifted across the milky sky, the only light emitting from the amalgamation of lamps and dim flashes from the TV. Tucked away under Abby’s arm, like an endearing dog, my eyelids grow heavy and enervated. Cosily I glance upwards, catching an obscured glimpse of her drowsy expression. I nudge into her side, breathing in her musk. She smells like home.
“Abby?” I muster through a wall of lassitude. She huffs out a mhm with breathy inflections. I take a moment, unsure whether she’s conscious enough to register my words. “I love you.” I muster. A small yet comforting laugh reverberates through her core, “Yeah, I know. I love you too.” Her words send a pang through my chest, one of guilt and pleasure. She’s so much like her. This grief passes over me swiftly as the rise and fall of her chest gently rocks me into a dreamless state. The storm had picked up since I arrived, and a howling bluster rattles the decrepit foundation of our aquarium. Natures harsh tune ushers me to sleep, the best sleep I’ve had in months, in the arms of the person I love most. In this moment, I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.
#tlou#tlou 2#the last of us#sapphic#abby anderson#abby tlou#abby the last of us#abby anderson fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#fanfic#fem reader#wlw#fluff#abby anderson fluff#ongoing
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invisible string chapter 2 snippet- leah williamson
there’s now 5 chapters of my leah williamson book on wattpad if you want to carry on reading!
my wattpad is linked on my page x
The more time I spent in the apartment, the more stress and tension I felt. Something I did not need today. So I grabbed the smoothies I made for Leah and I and decided to wait in reception.
A couple of minutes later I saw Leah's car pull up, instantly feeling at ease. She popped open the boot for me and got out to help me put my bags in.
"Didn't realise you were moving in until the end of the tournament, El." Leah laughed, seeing all the unnecessary stuff I'd packed.
"Don't laugh. You know I can't pack to save my life." I groaned as I got in the passenger seat, smoothies still in hand.
"What's my passenger princess bought me this trip?" She asked as she sat in the driver's seat.
"A green smoothie." I smiled and her face fell. "It's good for you, so don't even start."
"I don't like green things." she complained, but still took it out of my hand.
"Well tough. You don't want my hard work to go to waste do you." I pouted at her. "I could've had a whole 2 minutes extra sleep if I didn't make you that."
Sarcastically, Leah replied "My hero." and held her chest where her England badge lay.
We spent the 3 hour long car journey singing, awfully may I add, and talking about some of the other girls as well as tactics for games and what we'd be doing in training. Until we were interrupted, less than 10 minutes from our destination.
"Hold on, it's my mum." I answered the phone and the call connected through bluetooth.
"Hi mommy." I smiled.
"Hello, sunshine. How you feeling? You nervous? Excited?" She asked me, well at least she remembered.
"No, I'm okay actually, got my girls with me haven't I." I nudged Leah.
"Hi Steph." Leah called down the phone.
"Is that my Leah?" She gushed down the phone. "How are you, sweet girl?"
"I'm all good, thank you. How's the love life?" Leah asked my mum, smirking.
"Ugh, don't get me started..." My mum trailed off.
I kind of tuned out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to know the ins and outs of my mothers hook ups. She never had serious relationships, I think her last adult relationship was with my dad and I've never even met him so we all know how that worked out.
We stayed on the phone with my mum until the sat nav said we were 2 minutes away.
"I'm gonna ring you later, mum. We're just pulling up to the training ground." I told her.
"Alright, princess. Have the best time both of you." She said, "Oh, Leah I'm gonna text your mum and organise something for when I next come down."
"Sounds good." Leah replied.
"Love you, bye!" I shouted down the phone.
As the call ended, I felt Leah's eyes on me.
"What?"
"Nothing." Her eyes turned back towards the road. "Just your mum definitely prefers me to you." She smirked.
I just laughed, knowing it was probably true.
#awfc#awfc x reader#leah williamson#leah williamson fanfic#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson x reader#lionesses#woso imagine#woso x reader
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Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!
- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)
LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀
MID90S ; writer
includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)
warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs
masterlist
FUCKSHIT
you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever
while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school
"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"
honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater
you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit
you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks
then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious
you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history
from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends
let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it
you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too
you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first
plus the person who won first definitely deserved it
teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️
fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did
I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit
but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him
brought him to tears that he tried to hide
which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder
genuinley so grateful for you
RAY
you were kinda iffy with writing
but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?
shit sign me up
a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO
you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray
you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real
the judges loved it though
it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages
but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality
you actually got third surprisingly
that's still 400 dollars though
you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn
you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you
he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??
genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh
he reads it front to back at least 3 times
FOURTHGRADE
you were pretty passionate about writing
so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join
a thousand dollars would've done you a lot
you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera
you told him about it but never that you were writing about him
you wanted it to be a surprise lmao
i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀
you actually won too
apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH
you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug
"thanks for being such great inspiration"
"huh?"
you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit
you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more
the duo
RUBEN
bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition
"whatever you want"
you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say
"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"
"fine"
you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship
you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone
you wrote like 70 pages
you got third
but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him
he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around
he's never smiled while crying before
you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you
you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew
"why are you crying?"
"i'm not!"
STEVIE
you also have a very sibling like dynamic
although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had
so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"
"i'm writing about you"
"what the fuck why?"
he's supportive tho
he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer
by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed
you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile
"holy shit!"
you smile and hand him half of it
he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously
I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit
gives you a little hug and shit
#lowkeyrobin#mid90s x reader#mid90s imagine#mid90s preference#fuckshit x reader#ray x reader#fourthgrade x reader#stevie mid90s#ruben mid90s#a24 films#skater film#fuckshit mid90s#ray mid90s#fourthgrade mid90s#gn reader#gender neutral reader#they/them reader
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2023 Reading Wrap-up
I feel like this year was pretty average in terms of my reading. Some great books, some awful books, a lot of books in the middle. And while I feel as if I kept hitting slumps, I don’t think my stats really reflect that. I kept reading and even though I didn’t hit my goal of 140 books, that’s more because I read more thick and dense books, spent more time writing, and am one year further from the direness of 2020 and 2021.
This also seems to have been the year of T. Kingfisher for me (and also Ursula Vernon). I read several of her horror novels, as well as Digger and a bunch of the ebooks she makes free for patrons, which are really easy go-tos when you want something light and right now. I was kind of surprised when I realized she was my top author because usually that’s Seanan McGuire.
And I read more ebooks in general, because why should I wait for two months for the library to get a physical book in circulation when I can wait two weeks for it to come in on Libby? I’m still trying to reserve Libby use for lighter, faster, less involved books, because I tend to end up skimming a little more and there’s something about physical paper that helps me retain info better when the text is dense.
Now, stats!
Yearly total: 128, excluding rereads and picture books
Queer books: 44 (34%)
Authors of colour: 15 (11.7%)
Books by women: 74.5 (58%)
Authors outside the binary: 7.5 (5.8%)
Canadian authors: 14 (10.9%)
Off the TBR shelves: 39 (30.4%)
Books hauled: 41
ARCs acquired: 57
ARCs unhauled: 60
DNFs: 9
Rereads: 3
Picture Books: 6
If you look at last year’s stats and the year before’s, I’m pretty much holding steady in terms of my diverse reading—a little more than a third queer, about 60% female and 10% Canadian, around 6% gender-diverse authors. I’m way down on authors of colour though, and I didn’t hit my stretch goal of 20 Canadians, so those are things I’ll have to pay attention to in the year to come. It would be nice if I could manage more queer books too, but that’s not something I’m going to try for quite as much.
Two of my reading goals for the year were to read more books from my TBR than I acquired, and to keep my ARC levels about even. Seems like I pretty much hit them! I expect that 2024 will see fewer book acquisitions because a lot of my 2023 haul was bookstore visits with my dad and we’ve now hit pretty much every store in the city. I was honestly kind of surprised that my ARC problem stands where it does. I was so sure that I was going to have at least 10 more incoming books than outgoing. Go me! My spring ARC purge really, really helped.
I did all right on the rest of my reading goals. All but one book read (The Great Cat Massacre), which was the real point of the list! I only managed to finish one StoryGraph challenge, if you don’t count my pages goal, and as always I failed to read as many classics as I wanted. I’m starting to suspect I’m not a classics person, despite my interest in history and historical fiction. If anyone has classics recs for me, let me know?
To be completely honest, though, I'm not sure I'm going to continue posting to Tumblr. I pretty much stopped updating my feed in the summer and I've felt more relaxed, both in terms of Things To Do Each Day but also in terms of my reading. When I was more active on here, I felt pressured to read diversely at all times and though I try to have a healthy spread of perspectives, I know that I generally don't and am therefore a bad person by Tumblr standards. I am curious what my mutuals have been getting up to this year so please, sound off! And let me know if you do want to see reviews and wrap-ups continue here.
(Friendly reminder that I'm ninjamuse on Storygraph and LibraryThing, if you'd like to follow me there.)
And if anyone’s interested, here are the rest of my year’s highlights:
Top Five Fiction (not ranked)
The Hollow Places - T. Kingfisher
Menewood - Nicola Griffith
Bookshops and Bonedust - Travis Baldree
A Half-Built Garden - Ruthanna Emrys
The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi - Shannon Chakraborty
Top Five Non-Fiction (not ranked)
Magisteria - Nicholas Spencer
Diary of a Misfit - Casey Parks
Evidence of Things Seen - Sarah Weinman, editor
Lay Them to Rest - Laurah Norton
Like Every Form of Love - Padma Viswanathan
Most Impressed By:
Shubeik Lubeik - Deena Mohamed
Diary of a Misfit - Casey Parks
The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard
A Half-Built Garden - Ruthanna Emrys
Most Disappointing:
Tortilla Flat - John Steinbeck
British Columbiana - Josie Teed
A Killing in Costumes - Zac Bissonette
Tauhou - Kōtuku Titihuia Nuttall
Longest Book: The Hands of the Emperor - Victoria Goddard
Best queer book: Diary of a Misfit - Casey Parks
Did I beat 2022? No.
Did I beat my Best Year Ever? No. That would be 2021.
Did I read more classics? Not even close.
Did I read more Canadians? No. I held about steady.
Did I whittle my TBR shelves down any? No.
Was it a good reading year? Probably about average?
Breakdowns by month:
January February March April May June July August September October November December
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Reader-Insert Masterlist
This is a comprehensive list of all Character x Reader fics I have written. They are all written in second-person POV, and are written for a gender-neutral reader unless stated otherwise. Please heed warnings for each individual fic.
Fandoms: Attack on Titan (more to come)
Characters: Levi Ackerman, Eren Jaeger (more to come)
Levi Ackerman
Multi-chapter works
The Harbinger’s Premonition [AO3]
He's not meant to see you, but he does. To him, you are Death's Harbinger. To you, Levi Ackerman is a mortal that you wish you didn't have to haunt.
Grim Reaper!Reader Canonverse AU, canon-typical violence, canon compliance, spoilers for the show and manga
Ongoing; 10.1k words
One-shots
Between the Pages
Lately, your attention has been captured by a new book series, to the point where you won’t stop talking about it. Wanting to know exactly what it is that you’re talking about, Levi does some reading of his own.
Fluff, established relationship, 2.7k words
All Too Familiar
In a twisted turn of events, you, Levi’s lover, take the bullet instead.
Angst, spoilers for Season 4 Part 1, major character death, 2.4k words
Onwards Past to Eternity (Request)
An alternative happy ending to All Too Familiar.
Angst, fluff, Season 4 spoilers, manga spoilers, 6.4k words
Embrace of the Sun (NSFW)
Morning musings with your lover turn into something a little more heated.
Fluff and smut, explicit sexual content, fem!Reader, 5.0k words
Gentle Touches (Request)
In which Levi experiences affection for the first time.
Fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, newly established relationships, non-sexual intimacy, 3.4k words
And So It Begins. (Request)
On the field, you are a force to be reckoned with. Off the field, it is almost the exact opposite. Either way, you catch your Captain’s eye, and so it begins.
Fluff, confessions, getting together, fem!Reader, 5.8k words
Limits
Mind still buzzing from the horrors of a disastrous expedition, Levi returns home to you in a daze. You try to offer whatever comfort you can.
Hurt/comfort, a little angsty, civilian reader, 1.5k words
Remedy
Struggling to keep up with your university workload, you fall sick, much to your dismay. Your boyfriend takes care of you, but Levi’s spent too much of his life watching a loved one struggle with illness, and can’t help the rising fear within him when looking after you.
Sickfic, university AU, fem!Reader, 2.0k words
At Ease
You, the Survey Corps’ most prized asset, finds solace in the stoic but gentle teashop owner who you’ve come to know as your friend.
Or: The Captain!Reader x Civilian!Levi AU absolutely nobody asked for.
Friends to lovers, emotional hurt/comfort, role reversal AU, 3.5k words
Ignorance is Bliss
Out of the entire cast of Attack on Titan, the member that spends the least time online is probably Levi. And after seeing the responses to the latest collaboration promotional photoshoot, he wants to keep it that way.
Actor AU, established relationship, fluff, humour, some suggestive content, 1.1k
Levi Week Day 3: Shy & Blushing | Affections & Fondness
To celebrate your second anniversary together, Levi takes you to see the beach for the first time.
Canonverse, established relationship, post S3, fluff, mild NSFW (oral sex), 3.5k
It’s A Wrap!
Working on Attack on Titan as a makeup artist has irreversibly changed your life. As the end rapidly approaches, you find that letting go is harder than you’d thought. After years of harbouring feelings for Levi that you can’t divulge, his final day on set arrives. You know it’s time to say goodbye to him and part ways—but maybe you don’t have to.
AOT Actor AU, Actor!Levi x Makeup Artist Reader
Fluff, mutual pining, friends/idiots to lovers, confessions, brief implied sexual content, 6.9k
Ficlets (<1k words)
Safe With Me
Lately, mental exhaustion has been weighing you down, and Levi takes it upon himself to take care of you.
Hurt/comfort, mentions of mental health struggles, and mental exhaustion, 0.8k words
Dozes
A quick little fic about sleepy morning cuddles with Levi.
Fluff, established relationship, 0.6k words
All Is Well.
After watching the latest Attack on Titan episode, you seek out your actor boyfriend in need of reassurance that he’s okay.
Fluff, Season 4 Pt 2 spoilers, actor AU, 0.8k words
Confessions
You confess to your long-time best friend about how you truly feel.
Fluff, friends-to-lovers, 0.5k words
Insecurities
You don’t feel like you deserve him. Levi has a few things to say about that.
Emotional hurt/comfort, angst and fluff, 0.6k words
A Failed Attempt
Levi feels like he should try to be more traditionally romantic. Little does he know just how bad at that he is.
Fluff, humour, newly established relationship, 0.8k words
A Lover’s Hands
“His hands are weapons of war, but they are gentle, and you can think of no better pair of hands to cherish you so.”
Fluff, established relationship, suggestive content, 0.4k words
Another uni AU drabble (title TBC)
You and your boyfriend want nothing more to cuddle in bed and sleep in the safety of each other’s arms, but university work seems to have a vendetta against you.
Uni AU, fluff, established relationship, 1.0k words
Love’s Philosophy [AO3]
A ficlet collection based off this prompt list.
Multiple AUs, varying individual ratings.
Ongoing; 11/20 ficlets posted as of July 2023.
Headcanons & thoughts
The Florist Saga: Florist/plant dad Levi | Florist Levi x teashop owner Reader | Florist Levi tag
Being called ‘pretty’
Busy-body S/O
Getting his wisdom teeth removed
Thoughts: IKEA dates | Doting on him
Submissions (from you guys!): Naps | Massages
Eren Jaeger
Ficlets (<1 words)
Since You Asked So Nicely
It’s three minutes until midnight. Your boyfriend’s eager to unwrap his birthday present a little early, and since he asked so nicely, how could you say no?
Established relationship, suggestive content, implied modern AU, 0.6k
Headcanons
#eren thoughts ⬅️ other headcanons and short blurbs
More to come...
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