#have been trying to write for the last 2 days he basically told me i have to redo in its entirety AND THE THING IS ITS 10 FUCKING PERCENT OF
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hi mutuals. ive been gone all day in capstone hell in part bc my advisor is basically making me restructure the entire thing and it’s literally due on saturday. also if i look at a screen for another second my eyes will explode out of my face i think. like screens are so weird and 3d to me rn and it hurts my eyes and is too up close but also im pretty sure i have a lazy eye now so that’s probably why lol. but I have a week of this left at least atp except i can’t possibly ahve a week of this left because i literalt graduate a week from today. i feel like setting everything on fire
#purrs#what is it with me and my teachers / professors changing my entire project at the last minute LOL. throwback to ap art i. senior year of#high school when i was so fucking stressed out and depressed about graduating (hmmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and i had spent literally ALL YEAR do#doing my stupjd breadth and composition. or whatever it was like the names of the 2 stupid categories w head to do and i spent the whole yEA#year doing paintings for my compositon and i didn’t finish them bc i bit off more than i could chew (hmm sound familiar 🤔💕) and got permissi#permission from her to do my last like 3-4 paintings as collages in my sketchbook and then i had to give her mt sketchbook to like physicall#physically handle them and grade them (which was mortifying bc mt sketchbooks are like my diary basically) and after she gave it back she sa#sat me own and told me that she thought i had a better chance of getting a high score if in just used my sketchbook collages + some RANDOM#SKETCHBOOK PAGES that i had just been doing for fun and in my free time. instead of the paintings. thst i had spent all year fucking#murdering myself over. and iwas so angry but i went with it and i only got a 4 LMFAOOOOOOOO like this is just a repeat of that where he’s li#like you have to redo your entire fucking soi and break down everything etc etc and i swear to god i’ll get like a C. and at this point i do#don’t care. i almost broke down crying to him i was trying so hard to hold it together but i was telling him how i am worried about changing#so much of this right now not because I don’t care but because im exhausted and i DESPERATELY want and need to be done bc it’s been like#2 weeks of this at least. and he said nothing to that (in part bc i didn’t even look at him when i said it bc i was too embarrassed and bc i#said something else right after to lighten the mood bc i was too embarrassed) but like. lol still. this all sucks TREMENDOUSLY. i literally#am graduating in one week and it feels like i still have a month left and i have no fucking idea honwim gonna do this bc the stupid paper i#have been trying to write for the last 2 days he basically told me i have to redo in its entirety AND THE THING IS ITS 10 FUCKING PERCENT OF#MY ETIRE GRADE LKKE THIS IS SO STUPID HELPPPPPPPPPPPP help. this is so stupid and my faculty mentors can’t help me and im like ok maybe i ai#will go lie in the street right now. also not counting seeing glimpses of my roommates i haven’t been around another human being in person I#in a week and 2 days and ive only left my room 3#3x in that time span too all to go like take out the trash or some shit. so im absolutely done with everything LOL there is no way this#project is happening and i want to just dump the entire thing unfinished and say please just take it i can’t do it anymore i literally can’t#him: don’t even worry about the time rn. just pretend you have infinite time. me: crying cat meme. LIKE SIR I WOULD LIKE TO BE DONE THIS#VERY INSTANT! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!! HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s the way i have literally created THREE#fucking collections of literature in the course of doing this project and it still isn’t good enough LOLLL like i appreciate you trying to h#help me do well and give me time etc bu you have to understand i need to be done with undergrad right this second or i will explode
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Another Love | part 1
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 8,539
Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry
A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.
You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.
You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.
You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.
That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.
"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"
Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.
Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.
So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.
You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.
When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.
"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.
"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.
"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"
He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"
You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.
"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.
"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.
"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.
He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.
Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.
Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.
"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.
You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.
"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.
"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.
"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.
The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.
"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.
"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"
You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.
"I know you don't", you smile sadly.
He looks more confused now.
"Then, why did you tell me?"
"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.
"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.
You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.
"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"
"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?
"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"
Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.
"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"
"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"
"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.
"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"
"You don't have to pay if you're not here"
Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.
"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"
He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.
"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.
"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.
You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.
You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.
"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.
"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.
"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.
"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.
"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"
"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.
All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.
Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.
"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.
"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"
"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.
You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.
Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.
Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.
Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw
You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.
You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.
The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.
Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.
When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.
"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.
"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.
The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.
The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.
"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.
"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.
"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.
"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.
"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.
"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"
The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.
"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.
"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"
He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.
"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.
"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"
Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.
The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.
A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.
You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.
You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.
You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.
Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.
When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.
Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.
Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.
"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.
"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.
Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.
Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.
"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"
You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.
She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.
She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.
"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.
"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.
"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"
"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.
When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.
"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.
"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.
"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.
"Were we invited?"
"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"
You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.
She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.
The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.
You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.
"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"
You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.
Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.
"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.
"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.
"Why not?"
"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.
"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"
Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.
This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well to something completely new.
You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.
You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw
You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.
Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you
Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung
You change the name in his contact before replying.
You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.
Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.
You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.
You: lol, you're really smooth.
"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.
>><<
The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.
He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.
So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.
"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.
Chan looks at Han, worried.
"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.
"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.
"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.
"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.
"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.
Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?
"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"
He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.
"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.
"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"
Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"
"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.
"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"
"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.
>><<
You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.
Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.
So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.
The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.
"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.
"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.
"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"
He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.
"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.
After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?
"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"
"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.
Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.
"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.
"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.
"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.
"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.
"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"
He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.
"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.
"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.
"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?
"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.
"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.
"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.
"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.
"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.
"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.
"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.
"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.
"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.
"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.
"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.
"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.
Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.
Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.
You're jumping and smiling until you see him.
You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.
He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.
You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.
You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.
You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.
"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.
"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.
You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.
"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.
The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.
"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.
"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.
You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.
You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.
You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.
"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"
You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.
"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"
"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.
"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"
He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.
"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"
"Absolutely, I would love that"
"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.
"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"
"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"
You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.
After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.
You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?
You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.
You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.
Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.
You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.
"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.
You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?
"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.
"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.
"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.
"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"
"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.
"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I don't understand how that's any of your business"
"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.
You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?
"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.
"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.
Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?
"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"
You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.
The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.
You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.
Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.
You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.
You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?
You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?
It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.
You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.
There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.
Hannah: call me when you wake up
Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.
Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?
You: I just woke up, calm down girl
You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.
Binnie: morning babes
Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole
Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me
You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.
You: I mean, you're hot too
You: I think we'd make an awesome couple
Chan: good morning, Y/N
Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.
You: good morning Channie, I know you heard
You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though
You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.
You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.
You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.
You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.
"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.
"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.
"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.
"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"
"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.
"So what time are you gonna come?"
"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.
"Okay, see you then"
You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.
Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.
You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.
He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.
Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.
And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.
You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.
The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.
You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.
You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.
----------------
A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.
#stray kids#skz#skz imagines#skz x reader#stray kids imagines#skz fluff#stray kids scenarios#skz x y/n#skz x you#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#skz han jisung#han jisung angst#han jisung x reader#han jisung#han jisung x you#han jisung x y/n#skz han#skz jisung#stray kids han#stray kids jisung#jisung x reader#jisung x you#jisung x y/n#skz masterlist#stray kids masterlist#skz angst#stray kids angst#skz scenarios
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happy birthday.
peter parker x reader
masterlist.
warnings : none :))
word count : 1.2k
summary : peter’s not easy to shop for, so you settle for a gift money cant buy. happy birthday peter parker 😏
again, i just love ps4 peter so he was in mind while writing this. but you can imagine any of them!!
Peter’s birthday was in 3 days.
You’ve been dating for a little over 5 months, now. You wanted him to feel special for his birthday, considering everything he’s done for you over the course of your relationship.
But he’s such a hard person to shop for. You’ve been wandering around Target for what feels like ages now.
At first, new cologne seemed like a good idea. But, you already prefer the one he already uses (and you have no clue which one that is, you can’t exactly just ask him now).
The next best was new clothes. And they did have nice pairs of the flannel shirts he always seems to wear (He looked delicious every time, you couldn’t argue with that). You looked through the hangers, picked out the best looking ones, and threw them into your cart.
So now you have is a few shirts, cool. But still not enough. So you ran through a couple of gifts you thought he would appreciate. Scratch that, he has to love it, not just appreciate it.
Flowers? No, he can’t take care of them properly.
Skin care? No, he’s told you before he can’t be bothered, he literally uses just water. And yet his skin remains clear.
Shower stuff? Might give the wrong message.
Candy? Too basic.
New furniture for his ever so bland apartment? Too much money.
Gift card to his favorite restaurant? That could work, but it probably would end up being used immediately. By you.
Nothing seemed to work for him. You paid for the three shirts you picked out and left.
You were walking down the street, still trying to think of something to get him.
Your phone rang in your pocket. You put the plastic bag in your left hand as you reached for your phone with your right.
You smiled, admiring Peter’s contact photo as it lit up your screen, he was calling you. The photo was from a date 2 months ago.
He took you on a walk through Central Park, which was beautiful during the summertime.
The trees were beautifully green, and the weather was perfectly warm. He wore a black cap that day, which he rarely did.
As you two sat on a bench together, his arm sat behind you on the back of the bench. You couldn’t stop looking over at him as he spoke to you. Needless to say, he was very easy on the eyes that day. You took your phone out to take a photo. You raised it to your side to capture you both, and as soon as he realized you were taking a photo, he gave a thumbs-up and gave a little smirk smile to the camera. That picture has been your favorite of you two since then.
In that moment, you realized you were so in love with him. But you didn’t tell him. It still felt too early. And you weren’t exactly confident in the I-love-you-return. So you kept it to yourself, to this day.
Before it could go to voicemail from you accidentally staring at his contact photo, you answered his call.
“Hi!”
“Hi, Peter,” You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from smiling too much.
“Whatcha up to?”
“Nothing, just finished shopping at Target, I was bored.”
“Oh, okay. Are you busy?”
You checked the time, 2:43 PM.
“No, why?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out at my place, for a bit.”
“Duh. I just gotta head back home and do get my stuff.”
“Okay! Just tell me when you’re on your way.”
“I will, See ya later, L-“ It was a habit for you to say that when ending a call and you almost did to Peter. Good catch, Y/N.
“See ya.”
You hung up the call, letting out the breath you were holding during the last second of the call. You almost fucked up, bad.
But would it have been so bad?
Peter’s birthday is today. Still, all you’ve gotten him is those three shirts.
You feel so shitty. So you quickly came up with a plan.
You would take him out to brunch, walk in central park, and sit on that same bench, and maybe maybe maybe tell him you love him?
Which is a horrible fucking birthday present especially if he doesn’t feel the same way and has to let you down easily. But, you want to let him know he’s important to you and no gift was able to speak that for you.
What’s there to lose to just say it to him?
Everything. You could lose everything you’ve built with him. Don’t say it, Y/N.
“Hey, Peter?” You turned your body to face him, you two were sitting in the exact bench.
“Hm?” He looked over at you, his eyebrows raised.
He was wearing the new blue flannel you bought him. You washed it for him the other day and gave it to him during brunch. Immediately he had put one on (your favorite that you picked out) and has been wearing it all day.
“I wanna tell you something,” No going back, do it. You have to.
“Okay.. What’s up?” His whole body was now facing you. All of his attention on you.
“I just- we’ve been together for five months now. Which is a long time with somebody, at least to me. And you’ve become such an important person in my life and being around you has become so routine that I can’t imagine any of my free time being spent without you.”
He slowly nodded, looking confused.
“I should’ve told you this months ago, but I didn’t. I was too nervous to tell you before, and it’s really not a good time to tell you — especially on your birthday — but I can’t keep it a secret anymore-”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“What?! Peter, no. Quite the opposite actually,” You joked, he didn’t know what you meant though.
“Oh, phew. I got really scared. You got all serious and then you started saying it wasn’t a good thing to tell me on my birthday-”
“I love you.” You blurted, interrupting his rambling.
He just stared at you, mouth still agape from him talking.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” You started to gather your things and about to stand up and leave.
“Wait. Do you? Like actually?” He gripped your wrist, stopping you.
“Yeah,” You turned your head away from him, feeling a blush creep on your face. This was embarrassing.
“I- I love you, too.” He stood up, and positioned his thumb under your jaw to turn your head towards him.
“Wha-”
“I love you.” He repeated himself, this time he was looking into your eyes.
You both leaned in, simultaneously.
“I said it first, but I love you too.” You pulled him by his collar and pressed your lips onto his.
After a moment, you felt him smile against your lips.
“What?” You asked, giggling as you opened your eyes to look at him.
“You love me,” He teased, tickling your sides.
“Don’t get cheesy.”
“No promises,” He laughed, leaning into another kiss.
“Happy birthday, Pete.”
hehehe. okay fr tho it is actually peter parker’s birthday today and i needed to make something. this was lowkey half-assed but i kinda like it so i’m just gonna post it 🥲🥲
likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!! 💓
#lynnlovesspidahman#peter parker x reader#peter parker#tom holland#tom holland x reader#mcu peter parker x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker x you#insomniac spiderman x reader#peter parker fluff#tasm peter parker#mcu peter x reader#mcu peter parker#tasm peter x reader#tasm peter parker x reader#andrew garfield#andrew garfield x reader#spider man ps4 x reader#insomniac spider man#spider man x reader#peter parker angst#peter parker established relationship#spiderman ps4#spiderman ps4 x reader#spiderman fluff#spiderman imagine#tasm peter imagines#tasm peter x you#tasm peter fluff#tasm peter parker fluff
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teen wolf as b99 quotes
*lydia’s party in s2*
lydia: why is no one having a good time? i specifically requested it.
***
isaac, to lydia: derek told me not to let him get hurt tonight, so i’ll keep him away from you.
later
stiles: have you seen lydia?
isaac: lydia died eight years ago.
***
derek: oh, are you and allison no longer…
scott: smushing booties?
derek: …yes that’s exactly how i was going to phrase my sentence, scott.
***
stiles: we gotta get to hospital and we gotta get there fast.
jackson: then i should drive.
scott: why you?
jackson: i have nothing to live for and i drive like it.
stiles: …okay, let’s do it.
***
stiles: all right, give me your hair-dryer.
allison: what?
stiles: don’t you carry one in your purse?
allison: have you ever met a human woman?
stiles: …*calls lydia*
lydia: hey, stiles.
stiles: hey. do you carry a hair-dryer in your purse?
lydia: of course. i’m not an animal.
***
stiles: you think you can just bully people, but you can’t. it’s not okay.
stiles: i’m the bully around here. ask anyone.
***
erica: i’m not a stone cold bitch.
erica: i’m a natural, beautiful presence.
***
stiles: do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?
***
peter: we can go to my apartment. no one knows where i live.
derek: i thought you had stiles over once.
peter: yeah, it was fun. i moved the next day.
peter: he would way too easily use that information against me.
stiles: he’s right, i would.
***
scott: stiles, i screwed up, big time.
stiles: scott, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
***
kira: ‘writing things down’ is nerdy!? what do you do?
malia: i just forget stuff like a cool person.
***
allison: you are disturbingly good at this.
lydia: i grew up forging report cards.
lydia: if people knew how smart i was, it would have been harder to control them.
***
stiles: are you a minor? how old are you?
liam: i’m 610. i’m a highlander.
stiles: okay, you know what? i’m gonna put that in there.
stiles: and then you’re gonna be tried as an adult highlander, and they’re gonna cut your head off.
***
erica: what do you look for in a guy?
stiles: i don’t know, real stuff. shape of his ass.
erica: yeah that tracks
***
scott: i straight up drove him off, big screw up on my part.
derek:
scott: i’m trying this new thing, where i just own my mistakes. i like it, do you?
derek: i did. until you bragged about it.
***
boyd: you searched for ‘cheapest date possible’.
stiles: and i wear that search like a badge of honor.
***
scott: wow, your handshake is quite firm.
kira: i took a seminar.
scott: where?
***
stiles: a parsec is actually a measure of distance. that’s one of the many inaccuracies in the ‘Star Wars’ universe.
malia: and what’s ‘Star Wars’?
stiles: oh boy.
***
scott: okay- no big deal, five days is nothing. i’m not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.
scott: my thoughts are awesome. die hard 6 on a cruise ship… pizza bagel restaurant…
scott: my father never loved me, i’m gonna die alone.
scott: oh boy, that escalated quick.
***
stiles: well, remember when you told me not to burn down the precinct?
sheriff stilinski: you burned down the precinct??
stiles: no, i had the fire put out almost immediately. this is a success story!
***
stiles: peter, this isn’t High School Musical.
scott: yeah, peter, this isn’t High School Musical 2.
stiles: yeah, and it isn’t High School Musical 3: Senior Year.
***
boyd: i’m fine at parties.
boyd: i just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.
***
derek: i only feel one emotion, and it’s anger.
isaac: last night you drunk-texted the whole pack a bunch of heart emojis.
derek: …out of anger.
***
stiles, to jackson: no hard feelings. but i hate you.
stiles: not joking. bye.
***
lydia: give me the ring.
stiles: ha, you sound like Gollum.
lydia: that means nothing to me.
lydia: i don’t see those movies, i’m too pretty.
***
stiles, walking out after a pack meeting ends: sexy train is leaving the station.
stiles: check out this caboose! later, sluts.
***
scott: look at me. do not blow this for us.
random dog that allison hit with her car:
***
peter: i really miss these people, the whole pack. stiles, scott…
peter: …i forget all their other names.
derek: *judgemental eyebrow raise*
#teen wolf#source: b99#b99 quotes#incorrect quotes#brooklyn 99#stiles stilinski#derek hale#scott mccall#lydia martin#isaac lahey#erica reyes#vernon boyd#allison argent#kira yukimura#peter hale#sheriff stilinski#malia tate#jackson whittemore#hale pack#teen wolf incorrect quotes#stiles and lydia are jake and gina#also derek is rosa#aka grumpy leather jacket bisexual
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JUST A FRIEND TO YOU ── PART 2.
♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )
pairing: modern!aemond x fem!reader and a little bit of cregan stark x fem!reader.
summary: after you agreed to go on the date, aemond realizes what a big mistake he has made.
warnings: pining, aemond regretting all of his life decisions basically and getting what he deserves, and angsty shit bc you know i love to make you all suffer.
note: hi besties! i didn’t wanna do a part two of this one shot but since a lot of you were asking me, i heard you and here you have. and i’m already thinking about writing a part 3? or maybe a mini series? even tho i said i don’t like it. i need help!! btw if there are any mistakes i apologize, but as some of you may know english is not my first language. hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.
read part one here.
YOU REALLY DIDN’T WANT to go on that date but, as always, you couldn’t say no to aemond.
and it turns out, you had fun.
aemond’s girlfriend —or date, or girl friend? you don’t really know— is actually nice and you hate yourself for not being able to dislike her, she’s so freaking sweet that it makes you want to throw up. and as nice as she is, her friend is also very nice and a total gentleman. and also the quarterback of the college footfall team.
cregan stark made you forget all about aemond targaryen in just a couple of minutes with him. he knows how attractive he his and also how to use his charm with girls, because he had you flustered all night. he didn’t do anything more than just smile at you, pay for the dinner and drinks and walk you back to your dorm, kissing you goodnight. on the cheek. and just a couple of minutes after leaving, your phone buzzed with a new message asking for a second date.
but as much as you enjoyed the date, once you were alone with your thoughts your mind wandered back to the last person you wanted to think about.
you knew he was on a date too, he told you it was that day. you didn’t want to know but he told you anyways because you’re his best friend, he wants to share that kind of things with you. but you wish he wouldn’t, that way your heart wouldn’t break every time he opens his mouth.
and as you thought about aemond kissing another girl, you typed your answer to cregan.
when the next day came, you didn’t feel any better.
and it only got worse the second you bumped into aemond outside the coffee shop you were supposed to meet cregan.
“there you are! i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he says, kissing you on the forehead.
not everywhere because you were in your dorm all day and he never, not once, came looking for you. weird it wasn’t his first option.
“here i am.” you try to sound nonchalant, your lips barely curling upwards.
“aren’t you going to ask me how it went?” aemond looks excited to tell you all about his date and you feel guilty for not wanting to know at all.
“i really want to know,” what a fucking liar you are. “but i can’t right now. maybe tomorrow?” you try convince him with that smile that says ‘pleaaaaaseeeee’ but aemond, for the first time in forever, it’s not convinced. even his smile instantly disappears.
“why?”
but you don’t have time to give him an answer because the answer walks out of the shop, two coffee in each hand and a big and radiant smile that only grows the second you make eye contact. and it’s strange, because your face lights up just by seeing someone that was a total stranger less than 24 hours ago.
“i was starting to think you stood me up.” cregan says, not acknowledging aemond at all, and leans to kiss you on the cheek just to hand you one coffee. “to show you i was paying attention last night.” just by the smell you know he got your coffee order right.
aemond clear his throat and you both turn to face him. your cheeks are impossibly red and you avoid his eyes, choosing to look at your shoes instead.
“oh sorry,” cregan chuckles, and gives aemond a pat on the shoulder. “i’m going to steal her for a while, you okay with that?” you didn’t know you could be any more embarrassed, but it is possible. and you hate it.
aemond nods, looking at you one final time before turning around and walking away, leaving you with a strange and awful feeling in your heart.
but cregan soon makes you forget about almost everything. and it keeps happening for the next couple of weeks. but even him and his friends can’t make you forget about him.
you have barely seen aemond since that day in the coffee shop. you tried to call him the next day to apologize but he only texted you that now he was busy and he would give you a call when he could; but that never happened and since that day your friendship has been reduced to short and cold text messages. and it hurts. but you’re decided to not let another day pass without talking to him. or just seeing him. you miss him and you wonder if he misses you too.
but after trying to communicate with aemond all day, calling him and messaging him over and over again, you give up. he clearly doesn’t want to talk to you and as much as it hurts, it angers you too.
“i’m sure he’s just busy and will call you as soon as he can.” cregan tries to calm you as he walks by your side, his thumb brushing a strand of hair out of your face.
you only nod as an answer, looking at your phone hoping to see a text from aemond.
“hey, look at me.” he stops walking, his hands cupping your face, softly forcing you to look at him. “forget about him and enjoy the party, okay?”
it’s very sweet how he’s always making sure you are fine and listening to you talk about your best friend, not once telling you that he actually doesn’t like the guy.
you thank him by standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, making him chuckle and hold your hand resuming your walk.
the first thing you notice when entering the living room are cregan’s friends drinking and chatting, but what draws your attention the most is aemond. sitting on a couch in a corner, cigarette between his lips as he looks annoyed at you two.
you fight the urge to walk to him. you miss him so much but it looks like he doesn’t miss you at all. he probably hasn’t even think about you. and that’s why you accept the drink cregan hands you, sitting by his side and trying to ignore the pair of blue eyes on you.
unbeknownst to you, aemond hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day you accepted that date. he really thought you were going to say no and he still doesn’t know why he asked you to do it, but he regrets it so much.
but he also knows how selfish and childish he’s being.
he can't keep his eyes away from you as you laugh about something that has everyone laughing too. but he only can hear your laugh, loud and clear, and it's like a knife cutting through his chest. he wants to talk to you so badly, he has missed you like crazy, but doesn't know how to do it, what to say. he's pretty sure you're going to snap at him.
however, that doesn't stop him from following you when he sees you standing and walking away.
you're pouring some vodka in a cup when he enters the kitchen. his hands are sweating and he feels so nervous it's pathetic.
"so," he says, but you don't look at him, you just keep doing what you are doing. and that makes him even more nervous. "enjoying the party?"
there's a lot of noise, between the loud music and people talking, but the silence coming from you is louder than that.
"i was thinking," aemond says again, trying to make you talk or at least react. "maybe tomorrow we can go watch that movie you told me about."
you laugh and aemond smiles, feeling relief. but then you turn to face him and all that disappears.
"are you serious?" you ask him, but you don't give him time to answer. "that was months ago, i stopped asking you to go with me because you always had an excuse." you shake your head, looking at the liquid in your cup, not wanting to look him in the eyes; it's easier this way. "and when you did say yes, you never showed up."
it's his time to avoid your eyes, looking down embarrassed.
"i don't have time for this, aemond. you wanted me to meet new people? i'm doing exactly that, i don't know what's your problem."
"you don't have time for me." he whispers but you hear it, and your blood boils.
"it doesn't feel nice, does it?" you try not to cry in front of him but the more he stands there, looking lost and sad, the harder it is. there is something about finally giving you your place that makes you say the thing you never thought you were going to say out loud. at least not to him. "i'm in love with you, aemond, but loving you is hurting me. and i know it's my fault for never telling you and i'm not asking you to say or do anything... i just wanted you to know now that i feel things between us can never go back to the way they were."
aemond takes a step towards you, hands itching to touch you, but at the same time you take one step away from him. you know that if he touches you, the little wall you've created will come crashing down.
when you finally make eye contact, you can see the fight inside his head. you don't hate him, you hate yourself for not telling him sooner, for letting things go this far.
you smile softly at him before turning on your heels and walking back to the living room, swallowing all the tears.
cregan knows something happened the minute you sit and he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, placing a kiss to your temple.
aemond watches everything frozen in place, your words replaying in his head over and over again.
maybe he did know you were in love with him and that's why he did what he did. the real question is, is he in love with you? aemond realizes that doesn't matter anymore as he watches you and cregan together, and how comfortable you are around your new friends.
he's got a lot to blame for too.
the question now is; is he really willing to lose you?
#📮 ⌇ my works ˖⋆࿐#modern!aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#cregan stark x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen scenarios#aemond targaryen angst#aemond targaryen x you#aemond x reader#cregan x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd imagine#hotd x reader
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7 minutes in heaven
Pt.1 Pt.2 pt. 3
Characters; Ferran - as himself; Pedri - as himself; Gavi - as himself; Ansu - as himself; you - y/n; Sara - your friend; Ana - your friend
Warnings - slightly smutty, cockblock, asshole pedri, ansu, & Ferran, little angst, fluff, cursing
Likely typos cuz at the time of writing this it is quite late where I live so I am basically half asleep while writing this….
“Gavi you can go suck a dick” you yelled at him, walking off angrily to your car. Pedri followed you outside, wondering why you had just blown up.
“I don’t want to talk about it” you yelled angrily, not turning your head to face him, getting into your car.
“Come on just tell me what happened.”
“God pedri. Leave me alone.”
You slammed the door shut, taking off almost immediately.
He stood there like an idiot, not moving until you were out of his view. What has that asshole done now he thought?
You were in the post-breakup ‘bliss’, just wanting to make your ex jealous so you went out to a club with all your friends, not realizing they had invited Pablo to tag along. You had always hated gavi. Ever since you guys had met on the first day of the 7th grade when he transferred to your school. You tried to be nice and become friends with him until you noticed his arrogant, annoying, and overly confident personality that worked like bug spray, making you stay, or at least try to stay as far away as possible. Didn’t work however ever as both his and your parents became good friends, often inviting each other for dinners and eat outs. Since your parents were friends, they assumed the same with you and Pablo, often forcing you to carpool with them when your parents couldn’t pick you up. Occasionally even sleeping over, though this only lasted till year 10, your parents knowing hormones were going around and not wanting you two to do any mischief. As if! Not that his parents weren’t nice. It’s the thing they created that you hated. You hated how he always bragged about being good at football and someday becoming pro. You hated how he nonstop talking about how his jawline was perfect and how he had a 6 pack and how every girl would want him soon enough, including yourself, if god forbids you gain crush on him. When they’d invite you over for dinner, you and Pablo would go into his room and sit there awkwardly while Pablo would juggle his football, seemingly trying to show off. He always was rude to you. Calling you fat when you were going through some hard times, always aiming for you during dodgeball first, specifically the head, and now. During the party he had made a senseless joke about how you walked in on your ex with another girl saying, “okay at least woman want me. How bad at sex can you be for your 3 year boyfriend to cheat on you with some donkey ass looking girl.”. He joked and laughed but you had enough. You had slapped him hard. “You are a vile, vile person Pablo gavira. Go fuck yourself.” Is what you said before slapping him again a finally leaving. “I don’t have to. All the women at my feet will, unlike you who can’t seem to find a fuck buddy for the life of you.” This all lead up to this situation.
~ a couple months later ~
It had been a while since you’ve last seen Pablo gavi, going on with your life like nothing ever happened. Yeah maybe sometimes you thought about what he had said. And MAYBE cried yourself to sleep knowing he thought you were ugly, but still. You felt at peace with yourself finally.
You had been invited to ansu’s house for a party, only being told that a bunch of people would be there. Not specifying who.
~
You walked into a lively party, music blasting from a couple of speakers. People scattered around on ansu’s furniture. Some talking, some dancing, some making out. You tried finding Ansu, instead you bump into someone. You landed on a hard chest, placing your hand on it to stabilize yourself.
“Oh my ba-“ you cut yourself off when you finally noticed who it was you were apologizing to. Gavi. Quickly you wiped your shirt with your hands and borderline ran away, feeling his eyes on you but not saying anything.
The rest of the night was awkward. You two exchanging glances multiple times. He didn’t seem to be as bothered as you. He was talking with other people, dancing, laughing, smiling, everything like that. You on the other hand we’re sitting on the couch with a cup of beer in one hand and your jaw in the other, resting your elbow on your knee as you people watched.
Your friends Sara and Ana were talking the whole night next to you, not bothered to ask what had happened knowing you were quite stubborn when it came to telling people stuff.
“Do you guys want to play 7 seconds of heaven?” Ansu suddenly proposed to the group who had gathered around the couch you were sitting on.
“Yeah I’m down.” Pedri said with a beer bottle in one hand and his phone in the other.
“Anyone else?” Ansu asked. “We can’t just play us two”. Ferran, gavi, Sara, Ana, and i all agreed on playing. We spread out on the many couches ansu had as he went to his coat closet it find a hat.
Ansu wrote our names on small pieces of paper before dropping them into the hat.
“Okay our first two are….” He moved his hand in the hat, picking up a name. You already weren’t having fun tonight but to spice it up you decided to play, praying to god it wasn’t you.
“Y/n” he announced placing it on the coffee table. Everyone starred at you smiling, knowing you hadn’t been too active ever since your breakup with your 3 year boyfriend.
“I hope it’s Pablo…” Sara whispered in your ear, giggling right after.
“I hope when it’s your turn you get paired up with Ferran.” You mumbled. You’ve known for a while how much Sara has liked Ferran, though you never understood it. (Irl me talking - how do you guys find Ferran attractive?).
“And Pablo.” Ansu placed it next to your name as you opened your mouth wide, still trying to process whose name had just gotten called.
Gavi had a smirk on his though, pedri slapping his shoulder while laughing like the rest, knowing the tension between the two of you.
“The two bestest of friends in a closet! I wonder how that’ll go!” Pedri laughed, fueling the fire.
“Okay you two, time to go into the closet.” Everyone stood up to follow ansu into a closet in his bedroom. It was quite spacious, enough to fit maybe 4 people.
Gavi entered first, turning back, waiting for you to enter as well. You stood at the entrance hesitant, but not wanting to not be called a pussy after. Finally Sara pushed you in, shutting the door right after.
“Have fun you two.” Ana giggled before they all walked away.
You both just stood there, not looking into each others eyes, just standing there in silence.
“You know one of us has to do something?” He spoke.
“Not my problem.” You said, looking anywhere but his eyes.
“Kinda is actually….” Pablo murmured.
You both sat in silence for another second.
“Why are you always so bitter towards me” Pablo asked, coming closer to you with his arms crossed.
“Why are you always a self absorbed asshole to me, and basically everyone?”
You stared at him. It seemed like he was trying to come up with an answer. He came even closer, pushing your back so you were touching the wall. His lips were grazing your ear as he spoke.
“Y/n I don’t believe you understand how perfect you are. You have the perfect smile, the most perfect eyes I could get lost into, and lips I’ve been dreaming to kiss ever since we met in our English class that Wednesday morning in the 7th grade. I really am sorry for the way I’ve treated you the last few years. It’s just that everyone I knew liked you, including men which got me jealous. I was the man who was allowed to love your perfect and sweet soul. After a while I realized it was wrong to be in love with you, especially since our parents were good friends and you seemed to not like me. I tried pushing you even farther away so it gave me no other choice but to not love you. Insults, bitterness. All of that. And I thought flaunting my good traits and talking about myself after a little while would have you realize all my good traits and such so you’d like me and I’d feel like I wasn’t the one who was chasing after you because Pablo gavi doesn’t chase. Didn’t rather. I tried chasing you and I now realize those feelings never vanished. I still am very much I love with you and I know after all the years of hell I put you through it might be hard for you to accept, just all I ask of you is to give me a chance and I’ll treat you like like the only girl in the world..” After he was done he gave your ear a kiss and went back to starring at you, waiting for a response.
“-y-yes” you hesitated.
Without another word he smashed his face onto yours, hands going up to your jaw to keep it there, not wanting the kiss to be over.
The kiss happened to suddenly. You were caught off guard, still tensed up a couple second into the kiss but softened up soon enough.
This kiss was rough and needy but also passionate and affectionate. Pablo’s lips tasted and felt sweet, and soft, and like heaven as if you had been waiting for it for ever since that Wednesday morning you two met.
After a couple of seconds of staying in the same spot, Pablo finally let go, resting his forehead and nose against yours as you both caught your breaths, starring, or rather admiring one other beauty and look of swollen lips.
A couple seconds later he went back to kissing you, this time it was much faster pace. He added his tongue in, allowing you to suck on it.
Your hands moved to his head, grabbing and pulling at his hair so he could come closer.
“S-so..good” you mumbled.
His hands started to go underneath your skirt, feeling your panties through your tights and pulling at the material.
“We can’t do it here Pablo…they could come in at minu-“
“Shhh. Trust me I know what I’m doing.” He slid his hands up to your shoulders where the off-the-shoulder shirt hung off. He moved the sleeves down to reveal your braless chest. Pablo starred at your breasts for a couple of seconds before lookin back at you and smiling.
You’d always felt self conscious about your chest. You couldn’t decide whether if it was too small. Men always made comments on it saying “the last girl was DD” or “no men go for woman under a C”you were a b cup.
“They’re perfect.” He said before starting to nibble at the skin surrounding on your nipples.
“They’re a little small…don’t you think?” You asked in between heavy breaths and a few moans here and there,
He lifted his soft eyes up to meet yours as he was still leaving little nibbles and groping the other.
“I said what I said…” he lifted his lips off your breast to give your lips a small kiss before going back down.
“P-Pablo I c-can’t FUCK” you groaned.
When Pablo was moving on to the next nipple, the door suddenly swung open.
When he heard the door, Pablo instantly lifted his mouth off to turn around.
Everyone who was playing was watching the scene, a camera in pedris hand as they all bursted out laughing.
Due to instinct, you grabbed Pablo by the collar to come closer to you, hiding your chest behind him.
“Walked in not even wanting to touch each other now being all over each other.” Ansu said in between laughs.
Ferran was watching the scene unfold behind the camera, trying to get a better view of your breasts.
“Move carbón. Im tryna see some titi today.” Everyone laughed again. You get the gist. Seemed like everyone had something to say that was funny today.
“Fuck you” Pablo said flipping him off.
You finally started pulling your shirt back up, gavi acting as a wall between the others and yourself.
Once done, you pushed Pablo and others to the side and went to the living room to grab your purse before leaving. You didn’t want to see any of their faces anymore.
As you were searching for your keys in your bag, you heard someone calling after you.
“Y/n! Y/n, wait!” Gavi was yelling.
You didn’t respond, trying to ignore him.
“Y/n” he panted getting close. “-I thought you left”
“I don’t want to talk Pablo…” you said finally unlocking your car.
“Please I’m angry at them too” Pablo came up from behind, wrapping his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place as he caught his breath.
“I want to be alone Pablo. No hard feelings” oh hard feelings for sure, but you weren’t going to say that.
You opened your car door and entered before locking it.
“Please y/n! I need a ride.” Pablo said knocking on the window.
You started the car and sped off
~
A/n
I’m the slowest writer ever BUT in my defense I’ve got school, which will always be my priority so yeah. Anyways, this will likely become a series. 3-5 chapters maybe even longer. Next part will likely be uploaded in the following week.
#gavi#cockblock#y/n#fanfic#fluff#light angst#gavi fluff#pablo gavi#pedri#ferran torres#ansu fati#tw cursing#seven minutes in heaven
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don't you think of me?
plot; snapshots of your breakup, with one letter underlining it all.
word count; 6.9k-ish
content warnings; swearing, dramatic overreactions, distressing dreams, depression, blood, general sad vibes, drinking and no happy ending (oops <3)
a/n; guys... angst is SO HARD. idk how people write it sooooo well. this fic is inspired by the songs "Sad Beautiful Tragic" and "I Almost Do" and the storyline is based completely on those songs! but there are a few other Taylor song references in the fic too. anyway, this kind of jumps around a lot, perspectives and timelines. so if it's completely incomprehensible, I am so sorry!! lemme know if it's so awful I need to have a re-write lol. I really hope the flashbacks are clear, and that this timeline makes any sense whatsoever <3
(p.s this is basically dedicated to 🍪 anon and bff anon, ty for riding so hard for this fic lol)
(this is non-canon)
✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿
The cold wind hurts Matty's face as he battles against it. Each gust feels like needles prickling his cheeks. But still, he pushes through, not really feeling much of anything these days anyway. The paper in his pocket scratches his hands as he burrows them in deeper, but he just grips it harder. The scratches made him feel more human anyway. They convinced his hazy head that maybe life was still happening around him.
The red post box in front of him is almost taunting. He stands frozen, gripping the letter he’s worked so hard on tightly. He has the passing thought of just letting it go, watching it blow away in the breeze, and never having to think about it again.
He never has to think about you again.
But he knows that's unrealistic. How can he never think of you again when you're all he thinks about? Every waking thought he has is about you. He still thinks about how your breathing changed when you slept next to him. The way your lips curved into the smirk he loved whenever you teased him. The flush that covered your cheeks when he did it back.
Every morning, he still gets out 2 mugs. He still grabs your favourite wine at the shops and doesn't say yes to plans without thinking if he should check with you first. The last time he saw you was still burned into the back of his mind, and he was not sure it could ever leave.
And to be honest, he doesn't know if he wants it to. If healing means forgetting you, forgetting everything you built, then maybe it is better to live in the pain. Each time he begins to heal, he picks up the scab over and over again. The sting reminded him of you, so he picked and picked. Blood poured from him relentlessly, but that was all he could do. Bleeding for you was all he had of you anymore.
He shoved the letter in and walked away briskly. He fought every bone in his body telling him to go back. To smash the post box and filter through every letter until he found his. He imagined a world in which he hadn't sent it, where instead he turned around and marched back to his house.
Or maybe there's a world where he marched to your house instead. Maybe he finally got over himself and told you everything in person. He begged and pleaded for you to forgive him, to look him in the eyes and tell him you've been hurting just as much as him.
Matty isn't sure that world exists, though.
✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀
3 days later, when it arrives, you stare at it endlessly. You move it from place to place in your apartment and try to visualise opening it there. But soon enough, that just becomes you avoiding that room like the plague, and you start to treat parts of your flat like they are infested with a deadly virus. But they're not, really. They're just filled with a small envelope with your name on it and a return address you know all too well.
You decide you aren't going to read it 2 days later. You hold it over a candle and watch the amber flames lick the bottom of the envelope. But before you can set it ablaze, some instinct takes over, and suddenly, it's the most important object you've ever owned. You pull it from the flames and put it out with your fingers, not caring if the fire sizzles your skin. You cry and beg for it to be okay, tears streaming from your cheeks as you frantically pull it open, “No no no. fuck, please.”
But the letter inside was unscathed, just the corner of the envelope was covered in a thin layer of ash. As soon as you see that handwriting, though, you feel the unspeakable urge to burn it again, to set it on fire and watch it burn.
You don’t.
You lay it on the table and go to bed. You decide tomorrow will be the day you do something with it, even though you promised yourself that every day since you got it. But you're sure tomorrow will really be the day. It has to be.
You return to the warm solace of the bed you've grown to know too well over the past few weeks, and the duvet welcomes you in like an old friend.
✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀
It's a few days after he sent the letter and the day after you received it when he sees you for the first time, and he can't quite believe it. There you were, standing in the coffee shop you always went to together.
He wondered if the baristas had noticed you both started to come in without the other. Maybe they started gossiping about it, “Did those customers break up? I never see them together any more” and he could almost see someone else saying “I hope not. They were cute.”
Even though he knew no one would ever actually say that, and that the baristas hadn't noticed anything.
Some force that he couldn't explain pulled him towards you, and before he knew it, he was reaching for your arm. “Hi” he breathed out heavily, staring at you like he wasn't sure you were real. He wasn't convinced that you were anything but a figment of his imagination. Has his delusions about you already gotten to the point where he's having visions? He thought it would take a few more months for that.
“Matty?” You say gently, tracing your eyes over the man in front of you. Hearing your soft voice after months without you felt like heaven on earth for Matty, relaxation washing over him just at the soft dulcet tones of you.
Matty smiled softly at you, and you immediately returned it. He can see the cogs turning in your head on how to greet him. Was a hug too much? Is a wave too little? Is a handshake too formal? Overthinking was one thing you were so good. Matty was sure you could win an award for it. So he decided to take the decision into his own hands and wrapped out up in a hug, burrowing his face in your hair and smelling that familiar floral aura he'd fallen in love with.
Your whole body tensed when he first touched you. The once familiar feeling now was slightly cold and awkward. But Matty felt you relax and couldn't help the grin that spread across his face the the feeling of your head in his neck, the place you always used to lay. He swore he could feel you breathe him in, but soon convinced himself it was wishful thinking.
Reluctantly, you pull away, looking up at Matty with glassy eyes. The barista next to you clears his throat, bringing you both back to earth and out of whatever haze you were in. “your tea is ready” he says awkwardly, eyeing you and Matty with a sly smile on his lips.
“Right! Sorry, yes. Thank you” You grab your cup and turn back to Matty nervously. He can see the anxiety radiating off you, just like it always had. He never thought it would be directed at him, but he tries not to overthink it too much.
“Do you-” You clear your throat, shaking your head as you try to process that you're seeing him again. Seeing your Matty. “Do you want to sit with me? Catch up?”
Matty can see your hands shaking around your cup and the nervousness swimming in your eyes. “Of course,” he says easily. He could never deny an opportunity to spend time with you. Especially not when he hadn't seen you in so long. And certainly not when you still take up his every waking thought.
The conversation flows like you had never left, easily chatting and catching up like you always had. You tell Matty about the cat you adopted and how she loves to sit on top of the fridge to scare you. He tells you about his mum and her latest drama. Her kitchen cupboards were the wrong colour of grey, and it was the topic of conversation for much longer than he thought possible.
The first bout of silence comes when you ask about Annie, and Matty can tell it took every ounce of strength to force the words out of your mouth. You felt like someone had taken one of your vital organs when you left her, and you can still see her face in your mind whenever you close your eyes.
“she's good. Misses you, though. Especially because she doesn't see you at school anymore since you got a new job” he says with a solemn smile. Matty tries to hold eye contact, but he gives up a few seconds into it, instead staring at his coffee as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.
Thankfully, soon enough, the once stilted silence becomes easy chatter and laughter all over again, Matty welcomed the warm conversation with open arms, missing your presence more than he ever thought possible.
But Matty's mouth soon got ahead of him, “so when was the last time I saw you?” he asked thoughtlessly. His brain was on autopilot, and the words poured out of him before he could stop it. The very topic you'd both been dancing around was now laid out in front of you, and it couldn't be ignored.
Matty saw something in your demeanour change, your once soft smile morphing into a faux-happy grimace, “Don't you remember? You screaming at me in the kitchen? And then storming out after saying what you did? Maybe you remember smashing a plate on the floor?” Matty pauses at your words, not quite believing you're deciding to re-hash all of this in the middle of a coffee shop, especially with a massive and slightly creepy grin on your face, but he answers anyway.
“Of course, I remember. And there's not enough words to say how sorry I am but-” he stutters as he tries to explain himself more, but you cut him off, gently placing a hand on his arm.
“Are you sure you remember? When you left me? Abandoned me? Left me sobbing and alone? What about the 30 phone calls you ignored?” You kept talking, and Matty couldn't get a word in, your voice increasing in volume with each desperate question.
“Look I’m so sorry-” Matty desperately looked around him to see if people were staring at your raised voice, but the cafe was empty. The once bustling coffee shop is now like a ghost town, with no evidence of another human ever being in there.
He flicks his head back to yours, only to be in his kitchen, forced back to that night. He stares at you in your pyjamas, tears streaming down your face. He flicks his eyes down to see him dressed in the same liquor-stained clothes, and he can taste the red wine on his tongue.
“Why” you whispered over and over again, gradually getting louder, eventually shouting at Matty as he stood there motionless.
Matty wakes up in a cold sweat, panting wildly as his brain fights to figure out what the fuck is happening. He scrambles to his phone and realises; it's still the same day. It was just another fucking dream. He knows nightmare would be the better word, but he can't bring himself to describe anything with you in it as a nightmare.
With a heavy sigh, he flops back to his pillow, gripping his phone desperately and trying to fight the urge to call you. It almost doesn't work, and he clicks on your contact and lets his thumb hover over the call button. He sees the unanswered calls and the pleading messages. He can feel the desperation through the screen.
He thinks your new boyfriend must've blocked his number because that's easier than thinking that you just hate him. Each time he reaches out, there’s no reply, and he feels a part of himself die.
He hadn't tried for a few months now, but he still had that urge to type out his every thought, to send it and call you until you answered. But he doesn't.
It doesn't occur to Matty that the real reason that the reason you don't answer isn't because of a new boyfriend or because you hate him. Instead, it’s because you know you can't deal with another goodbye. You can't risk all this happening again. You were already practically ripped open. You can't risk tearing the very stitches you worked so hard to sew closed.
But matty doesn't know that, so with a huff, he clicks off you and onto George, and this time, he lets the phone ring.
“Huh? what-” he hears the groggy voice over the phone mutter, and it's then he realises maybe ringing George at 3 am because he had a nightmare wasn't the best decision. But it was too late now, and he could practically see George's expectant face from the other side of the phone.
“Hi. it um- it happened again” Matty said with a huff, falling back into the pillows and staring at the moonlight dancing across his ceiling. He heard George's heavy sigh and the distinct sound of ruffling sheets, George had sat up instinctively, knowing something was up.
“What was it this time? Did everyone in the crowd turn into her again” George says softly, rubbing at his tired eyes and fighting a yawn.
“No, it started off really nice this time. I saw her again at that cafe we always went to, you know the one near the studio? We were just chatting and catching up. But then she wouldn't stop talking about that night, telling me what happened all over again. And then I blinked, and I was back. I was in that kitchen again, just staring at her.” Matty follows the moonbeams with his eyes, lingering on the two beams crossing over, only for their paths to separate once again.
It reminded him of you and him.
“I think you need to get some lavender oil or some shit. You need to sleep. And these nightmares aren't helping” George says firmly, Matty would usually fight him tooth and nail at the suggestion.
He claimed it was because that stuff had never worked for him, but George knew it was because he saw it as still having a part of you in his life. Even if you were there in the form of his demons, at least they all looked like you.
But to his surprise, Matty immediately crumbled, “Yeah, you're right. Will you come to Boots with me after the studio tomorrow?” George agreed quickly before Matty could change his mind.
But he didn't try to, Matty simply said, “Thanks. Okay, I'll let you sleep now… Bye.” And before George could tell him it was okay, and he’d stay chatting as long as Matty needed, he was gone.
Tears leaked from Matty’s eyes, wetting the same pillow where you used to lay your head. This loop of healing felt endless, and Matty wasn't sure if fixing this was possible when he knew you were still out there without him. Forever wouldn't have even been enough with you, but now he has nothing. What is he meant to do with no you?
✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀
As Matty lay awake in Manchester, you were in the same position in London. The same lonely bed, but different cities. Unlike him, you haven't managed to sleep yet. Instead, you can't stop your brain from imagining what is in that letter. Your mind falls back to that night, and you replay the events over and over again. Every word Matty said was etched in your mind, so it played easily, the same script ringing in your ears all these months later.
//////////////////////
Matty shut the door delicately. Getting home at 2 am. was already bad enough. He didn't want to wake you or Annie in the process. But when he saw the light pouring out of the kitchen and heard the distinct hissing of the kettle, he knew you were awake. And he knew you were waiting for him.
He walked into the kitchen silently, leaning on the counter and watching you potter around, he remember when he used to sit here for hours and dream of you in his house. Now he's not even sure the last time you said I love you to each other. You continue to ignore Matty, but you getting a second mug out of the cupboard tells him all he needs to know. This is going to be a long night.
“At the studio late again?” You ask, passing Matty his mug and leaning across from him. Your eyes trace up his figure, and you can't help but think you don't recognise the man in front of you. His clothes hung off of him, and heavy bags sat under his empty eyes. His hair was standing on end, once perfectly manicured curls now frazzled beyond repair.
“Yeah, George wanted to fix this harmony. Sorry I'm back so late” he knew lying to you was wrong. He really did. But he couldn't bring himself to explain where he actually was, drinking alone in a bar rather than at home with his family.
“Oh. okay.” you pause and wait for Matty to correct himself, giving him a chance to be fucking honest for once. But he doesn't, so you push again.
“That's weird though, because I asked Charli where George was 2 hours ago, and she sent a photo of them together. In bed.”
Matty's eyes widened. He knew he'd just been caught, but he wasn't ready to give up the lie yet. He just needed a few more weeks away, and then he would come back. Then everything would be made right again. So his tipsy mind comes up with a new lie and pleads with whatever God there might be that would believe him, “Oh did I say George? I meant Hann, you know how I get when it's late”
“Matty. You stink of booze. Do you think im an idiot?” You sigh, placing your tea down and crossing your arms over your chest. The anger bubbling within you was threatening to spill over. You felt as if every word from Matty was a stab, yet he kept just pushing the knife deeper.
“So I had a drink at the studio! Sue me, Jesus Christ” Matty sneers at you as he talks, slamming his cup onto the counter, ignoring the burning on his hand from the tea falling over the rim.
“Liar” you click your tongue at Matty and cast your eyes to the floor. Staring into his eyes as he lied to you was agony, and you're not sure how much more pain you can take.
“I'm not lying. I swear I just-” he tries to argue, but you refuse to let him keep going.
“I know you're lying. You're always fucking lying! You weren't at the studio.” you sighed heavily flicking your eyes up to Matty briefly, but the tension was too much, it hurt to look at him.
“Baby, cmon, calm down. It’s okay, yeah? I’m here now,” Matty moved towards you, grabbing your cheek in his hand and moving in to kiss you, prepared to make this all melt away just like he always did. You try to push him away, but Matty stands strong. He had to fix this. He needed to kiss and make up. It was all he knew how to do.
“Would you just fucking listen” you shout, pushing Matty back across from you, “I don't even know who you are anymore! These past few weeks have made you into a man I don't even fucking recognise.” You look up at him with crazed eyes and scoff at the sight of the man in front of you.
You were done with it all. The lying, the running away, the sleuthing around. Done. You were having this conversation, and you were having it now.
“No please don't say that. You know me. I don't know who I am without you knowing me,” Matty begged, sobering up quickly at your words.
He needs to bring this back, claw what little life you had left in you to the surface. Everything that left Matty’s life has had claw marks in it, and he would be damned if he'd let you go without the same scars.
“Don't you understand that's the fucking issue, Matty? You don't know who you are anymore, I don't know who you are anymore. You need to be a person without me.” your words struck Matty in the chest like a bullet.
Were you seriously suggesting what he thinks you are? Do you actually want to break up with him?
Matty baulks at your words. Every feeling he’d had over the past few months was catching up to him, crashing into each other in his brain as they fought to be let out. Anger won because, of course, it won. It seems to always win.
He decides that if you want to break up, then he'll do it himself. He can't let you beat him to it. He knows it's childish, but he doesn't fucking care. He needs to win this. “Please, I've been a person without you for 30 fucking years. I’m a fucking dad! I don't need you to tell me who I am.”
“Annie needs both her parents, Matty. We need you back, please.” The mention of Annie makes outrage bubble within him like it had never done before. He can't believe you'd practically threatened to break up with him one minute and then beg for him back for the sake of his daughter the next. Because that is what she is, she's his daughter.
“You don't know what it's like to be a parent y/n,” Matty mumbles under his breath, but he might as well have screamed it at you because that's how loudly it rang in your ears. He knew he'd fucked up as soon as he said it, but there was no going back now, and he could see that in your eyes.
“I don't know what it's like to be a parent. Are you fucking kidding Matty? What the hell have I been doing here for the past year? Just fucking around? I can't believe you could say that to me.” You hear your voice wavering as you force each word out.
“Annie is just as much my daughter as she is yours” you whisper desperately. The regret of mentioning Annie was building in your chest, and it felt like a rock impeding your lungs, each breath fighting against the weight. but it was too late to take anything back now. Both you and Matty knew it.
Matty scoffs at your words, rolling his eyes as he fiddles with his fingers. He tries desperately to cool his raging mind, but he can't. He figures if he is already in this deep, why not stoop a little lower?
“Just as much your daughter? Please. You weren't here for fucking any of it. Where were you here when she was born? How about when she was sick for the first time and wouldn't let me put her down without screaming bloody murder? Or- or how about when she broke her arm and she cried when she couldn't have a pink cast? Or maybe for any fucking time apart from the last 12 months. I know you liked playing happy families y/n, but be fucking real for 5 seconds. You were her teacher, maybe a fun friend, but nothing more. And if you think you were, you're more delusional than I thought.”
His chest heaved as he finished, not taking a single breath during his rambling speech, he could see your wet eyes and he felt his heart aching but he just couldn't stop himself, words tumbling out of his mouth. "Even if you stayed, even if you never give up on us, on this. You could never be her mother.”
Both of you pause, the silence thick and heavy around you. How long could you stand like this and pretend he didn’t say that? Maybe if you just stayed there and listened to your ragged breathing, something would change.
But nothing did.
“Fuck you. You told me I was practically her mother a month ago. You said to me I was it for you, that your family was complete. I can't believe-” words poured out of you, streaming helplessly as you paced the kitchen.
Matty tried to cut in, desperate to get a word in edgeways. The need to defend himself was all-consuming. He needed to know that you understood he said it in the heat of the moment. Words fall out of his mouth without thinking. He can’t help it.
“y/n, love-”
“I’m not her mother? Tell that to the time I took her dress shopping for your mum's wedding. Or when I took her to A&E with suspected appendicitis. and-”
“y/n. Stop, just listen to me, please.” Matty begs, he almost inches closer to you, but some ineffable force keeps him where he is, watching you pace helplessly.
“Listen to you? Oh, I've done plenty of fucking listening Matthew. All I do is listen to you! But you never fucking hear me-”
“Can you just shut up for 5 fucking seconds” Matty shouted, grabbing a plate from beside him, throwing it against the concrete floor, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. He just needed you to look at him, to tell him you could fix this, but you wouldn't stop talking.
A gasp from you pulls him back to earth, and he feels his heart break into as many pieces as the plate below his feet. Your wide eyes and tear-stained cheeks glare back at him, and Matty has nothing to say. He has no fucking idea what just came over him.
Matty gingerly takes a step towards you, trying to avoid the ceramic splayed over the floor. His fingers shake as he reaches his hand out to your cheek, wanting to thumb away the tears falling.
But just as he does, he sees you flinch. It wasn't even a full movement, practically a micro-expression. But you fucking flinched. And you both knew it. The veil of silence over you is thick as you both stand there motionless with no idea what you could say to fix this. To make the last 10 minutes disappear.
Matty’s touch used to calm you. It was the only reassurance you needed. But now the mere thought of it filled you with some twisted sense of fear. The woman he had planned the rest of his life with was scared of him. And it was all his fucking fault. How had this all become his worst nightmare? How had the very thing he sacrificed so much to build crumbled and destroyed itself so deeply?
“Matty wait- I’m sorry, I was just still on edge. It's okay, im okay. See?” With a shaking hand, you grip his, bringing it to your face despite his protests. You can feel him trying to pull his arm away, but you fight him at every tug. Forcibly placing his hand on your wet cheek.
As soon as your hand drops from his, Matty wrenches away from you. The feeling of your cheek against his palm felt as if his skin was burning. The pain touched his every nerve.
The air is charged with pure fear as you stare at the other, both of your chests heaving and your eyes glassy with unshed tears. Without thinking it through, Matty storms off, grabbing his keys as he pushes through the house. You chase after him, ignoring the blades of ceramic impaling your sock-covered feet, “No don't leave, Matty, please. Stay, stay here.” You reach to grab his arm, but Matty snatches it away before you can even feel his skin against yours.
“I’m leaving. I’m staying at George tonight. Tomorrow I’ll come pick Annie up from school. You will call in and take a sick day. Start packing your shit. I’m done. You're out of my house by tomorrow.” Matty demands, and with that, he leaves. Slamming the door behind him.
Bloody footprints lay in a trail behind you, and your socks start slowly becoming sodden from your weeping wounds. But still, you stood there, unmoving. Shock coursing through your veins.
It was all over. Just like that.
////////////////////
The letter was taunting you from the other room, the blacked corner flashed into your mind whenever your eyes finally fluttered close. The image of you burning the letter played behind your eyelids like a movie, and you almost wish you really had done it.
But you didnt, so it still sat on your living room table, torturing you.
Eventually, you drift off to sleep, tears dampen the pillow below your head, but you ignore the thumping in your head and finally let sleep pull you under.
✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀
You know you're dreaming when you're back in that kitchen. But you can't stop it from happening. The hazy filter that covers your surroundings is the only thing assuring you this isn't real, that this isn't all happening again.
Matty stands in front of you just as he had that night, but he looks different. His once frizzy curls sat in perfectly ringlets around his face, the streaks of grey dancing through them more prominent. His unshaven face was now neatly trimmed, and you admired the salt and pepper hairs within it. You can see the tears brimming in his eyes, glittering on his waterline.
“So you'll forgive me? We can move on?” he says desperately, smiling and moving towards you with tears falling down his cheeks.
You try to speak, but your mouth doesn't move, your lips stay pressed together against your brain's protests. Not even grunts escape you. Silently, you stare at Matty, completely motionless.
“y/n? You forgive me. I can make this right again, can't I?” Matty begs desperately. He grabs your hand but recoils at the cold feeling on his skin, your fingers cold as ice in his grip.
You fight to speak again, to tell him yes. To tell him you forgive him, that you need to try again. But still, nothing leaves your lips.
Matty scoffs at you, ripping himself away from you, “I can't believe you're ignoring me. I thought you'd be more mature than this. Call me when you can actually have an adult fucking conversation.”
He storms off, but all you can do is watch him helplessly. Every nerve in your body is screaming to move, to chase after him. And you almost do, but some inexplicable force is keeping you there, motionless in the same place where your life ended all those months ago.
So you watch him leave again, the haze surrounding you soon becoming darkness.
You know it's a dream, and you keep on telling yourself that. But when you wake with wet cheeks and a heaving chest, it feels pretty fucking real.
You swear you can feel him next to you, awake and staring at the same ceiling. But when you turn to see him, the piled-up duvet is all that's there, along with a cold bed beside you.
It's then you decide to finally give in to that voice in your head, the one screaming at you to just read the letter, to get it over and done with. The one begging you to throw it away and never look back is nearly silenced, and it soon becomes nothing but a whisper in the back of your mind.
The letter stays exactly where you left it, and whilst you know it couldn't have moved, part of you wishes it had. With shaking hands, you grab the pile of pages, and you can feel your heart racing the very same way it used to when you saw him.
The city lights shine onto you as you finally open the pages, looking at the handwriting you knew all too well. The same handwriting that used to give you butterflies, that used to detail how much it loved you, filling pages with adoration.
Now you're not so sure what it entails. But you read anyway, ignoring every screaming signal telling you to stop.
///////////
Hi darling,
I know I don't have the right to call you that anymore, but I can't bring myself to call you anything else. It's been a few months since we've spoken, and I've felt every minute of it. I've filled notebooks writing about you, writing to you. I must have practised this letter a dozen times, and I know this still won't be right.
So, instead of trying to write the perfect letter, I've ripped out some pages from my journal. My therapist told me to write like I was speaking to you, so that's what I did. I’m sure she would be pissed that im sending this at all, but I need to do this for us. To remember what we once were.
Anyway, I hope it makes you understand what this time without you has been like for me. You can ignore this letter completely and I wouldn't blame you. I won't hold it over you if you burn it and never look back. But if you do read it, I just need you to know im sorry. For everything.
(3 weeks without you)
To say the past couple of weeks have been hell for me is beyond an understatement. There is this festering part of me that thinks I will love you forever, and the knowledge that we will never be like we once were kills me, but it has to kill me. Because if I felt anything other than agony, I would come crawling back to you, and you don't deserve that. And I know that. But fucking hell, that doesn't make it hurt any less.
You know me, I don't know what it's like to have surface-level emotions. I either feel it all, or I feel nothing. and with you? I fucking felt it all. I felt every touch, every smile, every fight, every screaming match ending in tears. I fucking felt it. and for some reason- I'm still thankful for it. because at least I felt you.
I wonder if you're at the point where you miss me when you hear my name. And I can't help but think about you hearing my songs, do you change the station? Even if they're about you? But if I’m honest, they're all about you. Every one of them. Even before I knew you, they were about you.
(a month and a half)
I wish you could forgive me. I think if I knew you didn't hate me, I could move on. Or maybe it would do the opposite. I don't know. All I do know is, I miss you.
(2 months)
Sometimes I miss you so much I can't handle it. I go driving and find the places we used to go, I sit there, and I can still hear your laugh. I can feel that all-encompassing warmth that surrounds you. but then someone speaks, or a car horn goes off, and suddenly, it's cold again. I mourn you like you're someone I've lost forever, and in a way, I have.
You know I still feel you every day, everywhere. Because you might have left, but you never really did. I still find your socks down beside the bed, and your hair ties around the house. I accidentally used your shampoo in the shower this week. You know that ridiculous Jasmine one that you pay too much for?
It was like having you around again, I never thought the small of some shitty shampoo would be the thing that brought it all back to me, brought you back to me. Yet it was. But still, you were gone.
So apparently, I decided to fall into the breakup trope of crying in the shower. For 45 minutes, which made me feel slightly pathetic. And it didn't help when George knocked on the door and washed my hair again. with my shampoo. But I still find myself smelling jasmine even when it's nowhere near.
You haunt me in ways I never thought possible.
(3 months)
It's 3 a.m., and I can't stop picturing your face. Just knowing you're still out there makes it so much fucking harder. I don't know how to cope knowing you're there and not here, with me. Even months later there's some sick part of me that hopes leaving me was the hardest thing you've had to do. but I hope loving me wasn't.
I know that's selfish, and that this is all my fault anyway. so I want you to move on, even if it kills me. it's hell thinking that the one person you could never forget is fighting to forget you.
But I hope you find the love of your life. I hope they make your tea just how you like it, and buy you those crazy expensive candles you love. I hope they will follow you to the ends of the earth, just like I would. even now.
(3 and a half months)
I want to say you don't know how it feels to miss you, you don't know how hard it is. but I have to keep hoping you miss me just as much. because if you didn't, if you just moved on without a second thought; I couldn't cope. the fact that we will always just be an almost will live with me until the day I die. I don't want you to be an almost. I want you to be an always. but it's over, and I know that. or at least I'm very good at pretending I know that.
(4 months)
Recently, I've been thinking about “what ifs?” Despite my therapist telling me I shouldn't. But you know what it is like after breakups. It's this all-consuming thing, and you can't help but imagine if things were different.
I think in another universe, we worked out. I got over my massive ego, and you worked through your past, and it fixed itself. We got married, had another kid, and got that cat you always wanted. We'd go to Annie's graduation together. Her wedding together. you'd cry as I walked her down the aisle, I'd smile and kiss away your tears. and I know that's not this universe. but fucking hell why can't it be?
(4 and a half months)
My mum misses you. She asked how you were doing today and if I had reached out yet. I got angry at her and stormed out. If only she knew how many times I’d dialled your number and then turned off my phone. Or how many unanswered texts I've sent.
Annie misses you too, by the way. She's finally stopped asking when you're coming back.
I wish she still asked.
(today)
I don't expect you to read all of this, and if you've just skipped to the end, I don't blame you.
but I'm sending this letter because I think I'm finally at a place where when I think of you, I don't take it as a sign from the universe that we were meant to be together. instead, I think of it as a past life, as proof that we were an almost.
Next time I see you, I hope it doesn't hurt as much as the last time.
Goodbye, my love,
Matty x
///////////
The distinct sound of dripping tears hitting paper was the only noise in the room. You watched helplessly as the ink distorted under the little pools of wetness. A million thoughts race through your mind, and you can't help but fucking hate him for sending this.
How could he do this to you? All you've been doing for months is healing, but he keeps ripping open old wounds carelessly. He has to know you can never go back. You can't trust him.
All you left behind you was a mess. You were both better off this way.
With a scoff, you grab your lighter and cigarettes, stepping onto the balcony with the letter gripped in your shaking hands. You have to flick the lighter a few times before it works, the bitter wind fighting against it.
But soon the flame comes, you sigh happily, moving it up to the cigarette delicately balanced between your lips. You suck in a deep breath, revelling in the feeling of the smoke filling your lungs. The slight crackle brings you more relaxation than anything else these days, but you still have to fight to ignore the familiarity of the scent.
You flick the lighter again, huffing annoyed as it goes out. Once you see the distinct glow of amber, you don't hesitate before placing it against the paper and watching the pages in front of you burn up.
Ashes sizzle your skin, but you couldn't care less. In fact, you welcome the pain. A sick smile comes across your face, grinning around the now-lit cigarette in your mouth.
Isn't it funny how little words mean, when they're a little too late?
#here it is... i am nervous <3#like i had fun writing it but is it any good?? time will only tell...#angst is difficult but very interesting to write#matty healy fanfic#matty healy fic#matty healy fanfiction#matty x reader#matty healy angst#the 1975 angst#the 1975 fic#teacher au!
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Eight Days (ch. 1)
Joel Miller x Reader (AFAB reader that uses at least she/her pronouns)
Rating: EXPLICIT 18+
Word count: 3.5k
Summary: You’ve known Tess for awhile now. When she asks you to come on a run and she isn’t able to go, that leaves you alone with Joel. Who you’ve never met before. Traveling through the wasteland with a complete stranger? This should go great.
Can be found on ao3 here
Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Joel Miller Masterlist
A/N: I’m very excited to be writing my first multi-chapter Joel fic. Not a request, just an idea that popped into my head.
Chapter warnings: age gap, mention of guns, mentions of infected, wet socks and shoes, wet clothes, Joel sees your butt, Joel has nightmares/PTSD flashbacks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’d known Tess for almost 6 months now. You trusted each other, helped each other get out of sticky situations around the QZ. So when she asked you to start smuggling with her and her friend Joel, you weren’t all that surprised.
She told you where to meet her, when to meet her. This would be your first time meeting Joel, you’d heard from others in the QZ about him. Just as a passerby. And from Tess. Everyone said he was hard headed, dangerous, and like a brick wall. Tess said he wasn’t as bad as everyone said he was, but you’d have to find this out for yourself.
This was a firearms run. That’s all you knew besides the basic rules of “be careful, don’t get caught, don’t get bit”.
It was 4am, raining, early spring air flowing through your lungs as you made your way to the corner of Prince and Salem streets.
FEDRA was currently switching shifts, which meant the three of you would have just enough time to make your way out of the QZ through a tunnel under a building that FEDRA hadn’t completely blocked off yet.
No one else was on the streets, you made your way carefully between buildings and down alleyways. When you saw a man standing exactly where you were supposed to meet Tess, you hesitated.
You watched him for a long moment, he kept looking around, like he was waiting for someone. Shit, is that Joel?
You quickly walk to the man and he immediately grabs your arm and pulls you into the nearest alley. “You’re late.” He grits.
“Sorry. Um, you’re Joel?” You ask shyly as the grip on your arm lets up.
“Yeah. You Y/n?” He raises a brow.
You nod. “Where’s Tess? I didn’t see her so I freaked out a little.”
“Broke her goddamn ankle last night.” He huffs.
“Fuck.”
“Just you and me, now.” He explains. “Hope you’re a good shot.” He hands you a black pistol. Nothing fancy, but it was heavy.
“I’m alright.” You say honestly.
“Consider this training day.” He sighs and walks further down the alley, beckoning you to follow. You perk up and walk closely behind him, trying to keep your footsteps light.
You follow him into a little shop, it now unrecognizable from being boarded up for so long. He shuts the door behind you both and you look at him, his hair and chin dripping with rain. You’re not lost on the fact that he’s a good looking man, although roughly 30 years older than you.
“Come on.” He meets your eyes and then continues on into a back room. You follow and he’s pushing a bookcase out of the way to reveal a huge hole in the wall that opened into a tunnel.
You got out your flashlight and the two of you entered the tunnel, you waited as he put the bookshelf back in place. He too got out his flashlight, leading the way.
The tunnel isn’t that big, something that was probably made after the main building had been built. You reached a ladder that led down and Joel went first. You went down after him, scanning the now larger tunnel for anything that might cause you harm.
“Are there infected down here?” You ask quietly.
“No.” He says shortly.
You don’t say anything else, letting him lead you through the tunnel until you eventually reached another ladder. He went up first, lifting the manhole cover at the top and sliding it away. He pokes his head above ground and waves you up, giving you the all clear.
You both make it onto the street and he puts the cover back in place before you’re both running, trying to avoid floodlights as you sneak away from the Boston QZ.
The sun is just coming up when you reach the freeway, glad you hadn’t come across any infected before dawn.
Before making it to Boston, you’d survived with your dad and your aunt since you were just a child. You were taught how to defend yourself at a young age, taught about cordyceps and how to avoid getting infected, taught about all the bad things in the world. You were no stranger to a warm gun, nor loss. Your aunt was bit and your dad had to end her life when you were 13. You and your dad were with a group when you were 15-20, but when raiders came through and destroyed your little settlement, your dad got shot and died while you were escaping.
It’s something you’d never forget, your father begging you to leave so he could stall the raiders while you ran. But he saved your life. You’d never forget that either.
You walked the freeway for a couple hours, not saying much to each other as you did so.
Joel was… pensive. Was that the right word? No. More like… frigid. Maybe he was just upset that Tess broke her ankle. Things were going to be harder with just two of you, rather than 3.
“Uh, where are we going anyways?” You finally think to ask him.
“Springfield.”
You wait maybe ten minutes before popping another question. “Did I say something wrong?”
“What?” He asks, oblivious.
“It just seems like… I dunno. You seem grumpy.” You say shyly.
“Fuck you.” He huffs a hint of a laugh and that’s the only indication that he may be joking.
You hoped he was joking or things were going to feel awkward for the rest of this run. “Shouldn’t have said it like that. I mean, is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?”
“Quit talkin’, for one.” Joel shrugged a shoulder.
“Noted.” You sigh and keep walking.
It’s another 6 or 7 miles (with a couple silent rests along the way) before he says anything. “This exit. We’ll camp here tonight.”
You praise god for the words coming out of his mouth. You’re tired, it’s been raining all day, and you just wanted to get inside somewhere and dry off.
You easily could’ve made it another mile or two before dark, but you were more than happy to stop for the evening.
Joel broke you two into an apartment building, checking doors to see if they were unlocked as you made your way through the building. It was fairly free of fungus, but there was grass growing through the first floor.
You made it to the third floor before finding a door unlocked. He held a fist up to you, silently telling you to stay where you are. He opens the door, flashlight in one hand, gun in the other.
You pulled your gun and readied it, just in case. But you stayed where you were told.
You hear him walking around inside the apartment slowly, boots sliding as he whipped around corners to check his surroundings. After a few minutes, he comes back out. “All good.” He nods and you both enter, Joel locking the door behind you.
It’s a modest studio apartment, bed tucked into a corner, couch on the other side of the room, pointed towards a TV in the middle of the room. The kitchen was small but the countertops were nice.
You prayed you’d get lucky, walking over to the faucet and turning it on. “Shit.” You curse as nothing comes out.
Joel just scoffs.
“What?” You look at him.
“You don’t really expect there to be running water in a place like this, do you?” He sighs.
You were sick of his attitude at this point. You were just gonna keep your head down, get through this run, and then tell Tess you can’t work with this guy anymore.
“I guess not… just thought I’d give it a shot.” You shrug, trying not to snap back at him.
You’re tired, you’re hungry, you’re now grumpy because Joel is grumpy… you just need food and sleep and everything will be better tomorrow.
You sat on the couch, digging in your bag for the sandwich you’d packed. You watched Joel sit on the bed, look through his pack and pull out a snack as well. Some nuts, it looked like.
You ate in silence, not looking at each other, not paying much attention to each other.
It’s only when you were both done eating, trying to figure out sleeping arrangements that he would finally start a conversation.
“Y’can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.” Joel says gruffly.
“Alright.” You keep yourself from offering other options, trying to be agreeable.
You switch places with him and although you wanted nothing more than to take off your wet shoes, you had to be ready to run at a moments notice in this world.
You put your gun under the pillow before laying down, resting your head on it. Joel laid on the couch, pulling a blanket off the back of it and covering himself with it.
It didn’t take long to fall asleep, tired from the walking you did today. Plus, you’re not sure how, but the rain really exhausts you.
It was the fact that you woke up only a couple hours later to the sound of Joel groaning about something that had you rolling your eyes.
You turn your head to look at him. He’s laid on his back, arms crossed over his chest, he’s mumbling to himself. If you’d known he was a sleep talker or whatever, you would’ve found some earplugs to bring with you.
“No.” Is the only thing he’s saying now, and the only thing you could make out.
“Joel.” You whisper loudly.
“No. No.” He repeats himself.
You pull your blanket off, getting up and walking over to him. “Joel.” You whisper again.
“Mm mm.” He hums in a negative tone.
“Joel.” You speak in a low voice and reach to touch his shoulder.
Your fingers are hardly on him when he yelps a “Sarah!” and swiftly grabs your left arm. His eyes snap open and he looks at you. You’ve never seen someone so terrified in your life. And you certainly never thought you’d see Joel this way.
He releases his tight grip on your wrist, you were sure there’d be some light bruising. He visibly gulps, his knitted-together eyebrows slowly relaxing as he stared at you for another second.
“Are you okay?” You ask quietly.
“Fine.” He nods, voice soft. He crosses his arms and closes his eyes once more. “Go back to bed.”
“If-“ you start.
“If nothing. Go to sleep.” He grumbles and turns away from you.
You sigh and turn on your heels, walking back to the bed and crawling into it. It’s the second time you try falling asleep that takes longer.
***
The next morning you’re woken up by the constant opening and closing of cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, the occasional sound of things sliding around on shelves.
You lift your head and turn to face the kitchen. “Joel?” You rub your eyes.
“We should go. Just lookin’ for supplies we might want.” He says plainly.
“Okay. Let me help.” You swing your legs over the side of the bed and walk over to him.
He holds his breath for a moment. “It’s easier if I jus’ do it.”
You step back. “What, I stink or something?” You sniff your pits. They’re not great, but not bad either.
“No, you- you smell fine.” He blurts out. “I’m almost done looking.”
You cross your arms and shrug. “Whatever.”
You walk over to the bed and grab your backpack, slinging it over your shoulders. Joel was done after a minute or two. You watched him put a couple cans of food and a pack of bandages into his pack before putting it on his back.
“Let’s go.” He nods at you and unlocks the door, checking the hallway before walking out.
You follow behind, going down the stairs to ground level and finding your way back to the interstate.
You and Joel walk for three or four hours before resting for a bit, glad you hadn’t come across any infected. When you asked Joel why, he explained the patterns of the infected, the way they combed through cities in dense packs because that’s most likely where they could find people to infect.
You’re not sure how it all worked, how smart an infected person could possibly be with mushroom for brains. But you decided not to poke the bear, leaving questions for later. To be spaced out, as not to annoy Joel.
You kept moving, going another five hours before approaching Worcester. Which meant you were about halfway to Springfield. A total of six more days with Joel if you were calculating right.
“There’s a small firefly settlement here. If I mention Marlene m’sure we’ll get a warm meal and a place to sleep.” There’s a hint of a smile on his face, if you’re not mistaken.
The simple pleasures in life. That’s what made Joel happy? Good to know. Next time he says ‘fuck you’ you’ll give him a hot can of beans and a bedroll, problem solved.
“Sign me up.” You grin at him and he actually returns a small smile. The longer you were with him, the slowly more tolerant and tolerable he became.
You made your way into the city, having to redirect a little when seeing a couple of infected roaming around.
You finally approached a tall fence, two people standing guard just inside. They raised their guns toward you. “Stay right there!”
You and Joel pause.
“Joel Miller! I know Marlene!” He yells to them.
The two men look at each other before lowering their guns. One of them speaks again. “How?”
“I’m a smuggler for the Boston QZ. Makin’ a run to Springfield. Need somewhere to stay for the night.” Joel responds.
“And who’s she?” The man asks, nodding towards you.
“This is Y/n. A trusted associate.” Joel glances at you for a second before looking back to the man.
The guards look at each other once more, exchanging a few hushed words. They look up to someone posted at the opening of the gate and nod to him.
The gate slides open as the two men beckon you inside.
Joel thanks them for their hospitality as you follow him into the settlement. One of the men, who introduces himself as Tom, takes you to what they’ve set up to be a mess hall in an old restaurant.
“We don’t have much extra room.” Tom explains. “May have to put you two on the floor somewhere.”
You and Joel nod, “Thank you. We just appreciate you letting us stay.” You smile.
Tom smiles at you two. “Go ahead and get something to eat. I’ll meet you back here in 20 to take you somewhere to sleep.”
You and Joel thank him once more before going to the counter to be served soup and bread. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was better than what you’d eaten the last couple of days. And warm.
It wasn’t particularly cold this time of year, but the rain always made it feel colder. Tonight, being in a safe place, you’d actually get to take off your shoes and let them dry overnight. You were rather excited for dry shoes.
You and Joel sat down and ate across from each other. You tried to make conversation. “They’ve got a nice set-up here.”
“Mhm.” Joel hums around the bread in his mouth.
You study Joel’s face for a long moment, the dimples hiding that would certainly show with at least a half hearted smile. They were cute. His worry lines on his forehead. The crows feet at the edges of his eyes.
His eyes. They’re looking right into yours. “What?” He raises a brow.
“N- nothing.” You shake your head and look down into your soup as you continue eating. Joel doesn’t say anything else and you’re happy to be off the hook.
Tom returns as promised after about 20 minutes, giving you more than enough time to eat firsts and seconds. It’s the fullest you’ve been in months.
Tom brings you two out of the mess hall and down the street to a small house. “Alright. Well, it’s not a room. It’s a garage. But it’s got a bed.” He says, lifting the garage door open to show a makeshift room made in this house’s garage. A full size bed, a dresser, a very old TV, and some shelves with action figures lined up on them.
“You can uh, share the bed.” He looks at you, then at Joel, who was scowling slightly. “Or- or,” Tom speaks again. “I see you’ve got sleeping bags. One of you could also sleep on the floor. I don’t- it doesn’t matter to me. But this is all we’ve got. Restroom is just inside the house, to the left when you walk in.” He points at the door connected the garage to the house.
“Thanks.” You nod at Tom and nudge Joel’s arm with your elbow.
“Thanks.” Joel finally says after a minute.
Tom smiles briefly. “I’m across the street. Come see me before you leave. We’ll send you with some food… goodnight.” He waves to you both.
“Night.” You and Joel say in unison.
Whoever was sleeping on the floor was gonna freeze their ass off. It was a concrete floor and you knew it probably wouldn’t be over 45 degrees until the sun rose the next day. You felt selfish, wanting the bed. But you decided to offer it to Joel anyways.
“Since I had the bed at the last place, you can have it.” You say to Joel as he closes the large sliding garage door.
“No. You take it.” He says in a soft tone.
“Or we could sh-“
“No, I insist.” He says a little firmer now, keeping you from finishing your sentence.
“Alright.” You sit on the bed and unlace your shoes, kicking them off before peeling your wet socks off.
Joel rolls out his sleeping bag not far from the bed, then takes his own shoes and socks off.
“I need to change into dry clothes.” You sigh, looking through your bag and grabbing a fresh, dry outfit.
“Me too. I’ll, uh, change in the bathroom.” He picks up his bag and walks out of the garage without another word.
You quickly peel off your jeans and shirt, then your panties. You leave the bra because it’s the only one you have at the moment.
You take a second to put up your hair before slipping into a shirt when you hear the garage door.
“Not done yet!” You pull the shirt down to your thighs and turn towards the door quickly, catching a mere glimpse of Joel before he’s turning away and closing the door again.
He had to have seen your ass. There’s no way he didn’t.
You sigh. Oh, well. Whatever. In a week you’d never see this guy again so what’s the point in being embarrassed?
You step into a new pair of underwear and cargo pants before calling to Joel. “Okay, you can come in.”
He hesitates but after a second he’s stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind himself.
“Sorry.” He quickly apologizes for having walked in on you.
“It’s fine.” You laugh it off.
You crawl under the three blankets that were on the bed, thankful your body heat would be well insulated overnight.
Joel turns off the light overhead before getting into his sleeping bag and zipping it up as much as he can with his head still poking out.
Over the next ten minutes or so, you hear his breathing get slightly heavier and you assume he’s fallen asleep. You pass out a few minutes later.
***
You’re woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of Joel’s teeth chattering while he sucked air through his teeth, shivering violently.
“Joel.�� You whisper.
“H- huh?” He responds between his teeth clicking together.
“Come here.” You say flatly.
“What?” He turns towards you.
“Get up here. It’s warm.” You sigh, staring at the ceiling.
“M’fine.” He grunts.
“Joel, get in the fucking bed. Your shivering is keeping me up.” You order him, rubbing your eyes.
Once you hear his sleeping bag unzip and he gets up, you scoot over to the other side of the bed so he can get in. Your body had warmed the spot so you know it would warm him up at least a little to start with.
Joel lifted the covers and slipped under them next to you, sighing with relief at the change in temperature.
You roll to face away from him, he’s laid on his back, his shivering finally slowing down and stopping, letting you finally fall back asleep.
#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#imagine#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller x y/n#joel tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fluff#joel miller#reader insert#smutty#eventual smut#slow burn#kinda#multiple chapters#grumpy Joel Miller#the last of us#pedro pascal#tlou hbo#the last of us hbo
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Dinner with the parents//Alyssa Thompson
Authors notes:this was a request I’m not good at writing actual fics so I’m sorry I’ll try my best to get to your requests bare with me thank youu😊
To say Alyssa was terrified was an understatment. Today was the day she would be meeting your parents for the first time, and she was so scared of what they would think of her.
Your and Alyssa's relationship is still fairly new having only been dating for 4 months as of last week,but who's counting? So here you are getting ready in your shared bathroom of your apartment and you hear alyssa call out your name.
"Y/N, please come here" alyssa called out in a shaky voice. you set down your makeup you were applying and walk over to her, "Is this too much,should i change?" She asks franticaly. You smile softly walking over to her and grab her face "you look perfect." You say in a reassuring tone.
you knew she was nervous but you already knew your parents would love her, I mean who wouldnt? "what if they hate me." Alyssa says once again in a frantic tone. "what if they dont want me to see you anymore." She says.
"Alyssa honey they already do love you,they know how good you treat me and they basically already like you more than me." you say with a soft laugh.
Alyssa looks into your eyes "i love you." she whispers, 'I love you too, but we really need to get a move on or we will be late and then they really wont like you." you say walking away laughing.
Once you arrive at your parents house you can feel Ayssa's hand sweating it was the whole way here as she made you drive because she quite frankly could not stop shaking.
You walk into your parents house without knocking and yell out "Mom,Dad?" you walk into the living room and having to pull alyssa with you. You see your dad sitting with your older brother who was visiting from college, he is only 2 years older than you. they look up from the football game they were watching "Hey there they are" your dad says walking over to you pulling you into a hug.
Your dad lets you go and you pull your brother into a hug while your dad looks over to Alyssa, and your poor girlfriend looks scared to death she steps out from behind you and sticks her hand out to shake your dads hand, but instead he pulls her into a hug.
your mom walks out from the kitchen from hearing the comotion and sees Alyssa and walks straight past you to pull her into a bone crushing hug "Im so happy to finally meet you, Just call me mom your family now." she holds onto her shoulders.
"Goodness were are my manners are you hungry? im making pasta i hope thats ok?" your mom says still not even looking at you. "that sounds perfect thank you." Alyssa says still shocked by the warm welcome.
"Oh Y/n im so sorry come here." your mom says and grabbing you and hugging you. "y/n you help me cook, Alyssa you can sit down and relax." your mom says pulling you into the kitchen.
Alyssa stands there looking at you not knowing what to do, you jsut send her a sympathetic look knowing how worried she still is.
She walks into the living room taking a seat next to your brother on the couch. "So alyssa what do you do?" your dad asks curiosly. "oh i um play soccer for Angel City FC and also play for the national team."she says
"oh wow so you play professional, you know back in my day i played i little, might have to teach you some tricks." your dad says jokinly. Alyssa laughs and then hears your mom call out saying dinner was ready.
You all sit the dinner table and you hold alyssa's hand under the table. "So alyssa Y/n has told us so much about you,says you play soccer?" your mom says breaking the silence.
"Yeah i do we have a game next week actually if yall would like to come i could get you tickets." alyssa says looking around at them. "We would love to come!" your dad says smiling at her
After dinner you guys decide to play a few board games you losing and end up pouting but its whatever. Alyssa seemed to be having a great time and your parents and brother get along great with her and you couldnt be happier.
So when you and alyssa finally are home in your shared bed getting ready to go to sleep she looks over at you "Thank you." she says "for what?" you ask confused.
"For letting me meet them i reall hope i made a good impression."she says moving closer to you putting her arms around you holding you close to her.
'They loved you." you say pushing your face into her neck cuddling into her. "i love you.' Alyssa says holding you tighter. When you dont answer she looks down at you sleeping peacfully. she jsut smiles and kisses your forhead drifting off to sleep aswell.
#alyssa thompson x reader#woso x reader#alyssa thompson#uswnt x reader#uswnt#woso community#woso fanfics#woso soccer#request
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Mending the broken pieces | (c.l)
[WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME PT2]
This is the second part of why won’t you love me to read the first part is here
note: soooo, the part 2 of why won’t you love me is finally here and I am completely obsessed with how it turned out, I hope y’all enjoy it reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it, happy reading!! Btw pls leave your feedback and let me know if you liked it.
pairing: charles leclerc x female character/reader
summary: in the second part of why won’t you love me, you and Charles try and fix things but will it be enough?
warning: alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, slight anxiety attack, crying, fighting, slight mentions of sex. (didn’t know if y’all wanted smut so I didn’t included it)
word count: 3.3K
———
It had been three days since you left.
And every minute that passed Charles felt the sink in his stomach dig further.
Okay so he had been the absolute biggest dick in the whole country of Monaco, and he had the time to realize that as the hours passed after you left.
He couldn’t believe the way he acted towards you and it angered him even more that it took, you leaving for him to realize it.
He took the last caramel brownie that you had made on Friday that he didn’t even notice to his mouth, as he dialed your phone once again for the thousand time on those last three days.
He knew he was acting selfishly the moment he arrived and locked himself in that stupid simulator room, he knew he should’ve just eat the pasta, he knew you were incredibly excited for the trip to Portofino and that that cancellation would’ve hurt you and he knew that you made the brownies just for him to try, and he knew it wouldn’t have killed him to watched the movie with you, but he just didn’t.
Why? Because he just didn’t feel like it, because for that whole week he just assumed you’d be there, that you’d just take it because he knew that you loved him, he straight out took you for granted, assuming you’ll always be there for him, even when he directed an entirety of 20 words to you in the whole first week of the summer break.
So he had called, and texted and apologized through voicemails and messages but without getting a response from you whatsoever, not even a delivered on the sight.
“Come on baby, pick up, please” he whispered to himself as the phone rang for a third time, the clock in the wall marking almost 2 am.
He was starting to get to the point where he was basically worried sick about where the hell you were, since you hadn’t given any sign of life since you left.
He had call your mum and your dad and even your sister who lived back in England with her husband.
I mean he knew you were okay since he called Daniel about a dozen times and when the Australian finally pick up he cursed him with probably every cursed word in the book, and after Charles had apologized and begged Daniel told him that you were alright, that he had picked you up from the apartment you both shared but he didn’t say where you were staying despite Charles pleads, Daniel cursed him again telling him that when he picked you up you were made a mess.
“She said she couldn’t breathe and wouldn’t stop fucking crying, you’re a fucking jerk, she’s so awesome and you know she doesn’t deserves whatever you did to her, so you either fix it, or leave her alone” the words of the Australian driver still resounding in the back of his mind, shattering his heart as pictures in the back of his mind the mess he had made upon you.
“The number you have dialed it’s not available at this time, please try again lat…” the robotic voice replied in what Charles in what it seem now like it was mocking from the million times Charles had heard it in the last few hours.
He throw himself on the couch as he check the chat he maintained with you, checking to see if maybe by a miracle of higher power you had answered his texts.
But you hadn’t, not even read them.
So he rubs his faces and eyes as he felt his stomach sank further as he imagined all the possible scenarios you could be in right now, ana he knew he deserved each and every one of them, for not loving you the way you deserved, for not treating you the way you deserved and for not showing that in fact he did love you and need you more than anything in this world.
He was angry and disappointed at himself, and he had taken out on you completely ignoring you and pushing you away and now you had disappeared from the face of the planet earth.
At least that’s what he thought as he opened the TikTok app in an attempt to keep himself awake.
And lord did that work as the first video that popped up on his screen was one of you in a very tight black dress dancing in a booth of a very crowded club as you were being sprayed in champagne by Kelly Picket and some of your other friends.
His heart started beating faster than the f1 car he drove daily as he watched the video again, trying to convince himself that maybe it was an old video from someone’s birthday that you had maybe mentioned to him a while ago and he had forgotten, but all that convincing was for nothing as he took a glimpse of the video’s caption.
“Y/N Y/L in a club in Monaco earlier tonight, Charles Leclerc keeps winning”
Oh God, you were at a club?!
(…)
To say you were completely, totally and utterly wasted was the understatement of the century.
And you knew that as you downed yet another bottle of water as you tried to wash off the feeling of nausea that camped in the back of your throat, as you everything around you was spinning at a high speed.
You were sitting in the sidewalk outside of the bar back pressed against a stop sign as you prayed that the ill feeling would go away, you had drank an insanely amount of vodka, trying to numb the pain, to forget Charles’ careless words and to shut your on thoughts as they kept repeating in the back of your mind like the most sick ass mantra.
why?
why?
why?
why won’t you love me?
You shook your head trying to get those stupids thoughts out of your head and as the phone screen lit up for the first time in three days it started beeping and vibrating like something you had never seen before, thousands of texts and calls from Charles one showing after the other all of them being pleads and apologies and love you’s.
You felt her eyes getting watery as she read one by one the texts she had received from her boyfriend, so with shaky hands and tears you started texting.
You wanted to say so much, you wanted to say how much you had missed him, how much you’ve been missing the thing you both used to have, but you’re brain kinda typed for itself as a single text was send in the chat you shared with the pilot.
I am trying to forgive you, but I’m struggling cuz I don’t know how.
sat. 2:16 am
You blocked the phone scared of what the answer of your boyfriend could be, a girl standing beside you, a worried look painted on her face.
“You ok?”
You chucked softly as you nodded drying the tears that kept running trough your cheeks.
“Girl you’ve been crying your eyes out for the past five minutes I’ve been here, you’re not okay, you need a cigarette”
You laughed again as you grabbed the cigarette from her hand.
“So what happened?”
“My boyfriend’s a douche” was the only thing you stated as you took a hit off the cigarette, throwing her head back in an attempt to relax herself.
“Yeah but he loves you” the girl said as she smiled as she smoked her cigarette too.
“I guess” you murmured softly as you press your plans against your face trying to keep
yourself awake and to dry the tears.
“If you have to guess than it’s probably not there” the pressure on your chest started to build up.
“If you had asked me a month ago, I would’ve probably said yes, but right now I feel like I’m falling from something that we built way too high and believe me, it’s a long way down”
“If you’re telling me this, after a fight you just had, then my chick from the club advise is, talk to him, you’re saying all that from a place of anger and fear, fear of what’s coming next, and what he might say to you but we all say things we don’t mean when we fight, so talk to him” the girl brushed her hand against your shoulder as you sobbed into your hands.
“What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” You asked as your voice broke a little, because she was right you were scared, scared of what he might say to you, of what might happen next, of everything.
“Well by the way your phone is beeping right now, he probably does, give him a chance.” She said as she pointed at the lit screen of your phone throwing her cigarette to the floor making her way back to the bar. “It’s better to regret about trying, than to regret of not trying at all, pick up, bye” she said goodbye as she entered the club once again with a small hand gesture.
So you made yourself look at the phone screen as Charles’ nickname “baby” adorned the screen surrounded with hearts and with all the bravery you had on your drunk self, you picked up.
“Mon amour, please let’s talk you— you know I love you I can— I can’t do this without you, please” the desperate pleads from Charles was the first thing that sounded, breaking your hearts as you head him uncontrollably sobbing waiting for your answer.
“Charles baby, calm down, please”
“I— I am so sorry, please let’s talk” he sobbed, you were now crying too, hating the current situation you both were in but you tried to compose yourself as you didn’t want Charles to get more agitated than he already was.
“I know, It’s okay, we’ll talk but can you come and pick me up? Please” you asked as a whisper basically, but you knew the answer before he spoke as the sound of keys clattering and a door opening before he spoke.
“I’ll be there in 10” Charles said before a comfortable silence filled up the line, you knew he hadn’t hanged up so when you were about to, he interrupted you as he dried the tears that fell through his cheeks. “I love you”
“See you, Charles” you muttered as you hung to start waiting for him in the empty street, texting your friends that you were leaving.
(…)
Charles didn’t lie when he said that he’d get there in 10 minutes, and you knew that the second you saw his Ferrari 488 pista spider across the street, all your friends cheering as you smiled towards them.
“Someone is getting makeup sex tonight!”
“Climb that man like a tree honey!”
Were some of the screams directed towards you as you gave them your goodbyes and the finger making your way to Charles car a surprise face showing up on you as the pilot got out the car, saying hi to you on a shyly manner as surrounded the car to open the passenger door just for you.
“For ma chérie” he said as he bowed for you to enter the car, making you giggle softly.
“Really, Charles?” You chuckled as you entered the car once again, him nodding.
“I just want to show you that I am, really sorry and that I shouldn’t have acted liked a dick” he said as he entered the car, putting his seatbelt on.
“We’ll you don’t really get to do that” you mumbled under your breath, as you took the hand he had placed on your tight back into his lap.
“But I am sorry, why won’t you let me show it to you?” He asked as he started driving back into your place, a serious expression planted on his face.
“Just like you didn’t let me show you how I love you back in our apartment? And plus how do I know this isn’t some kind of apology act? How do I know you won’t be back to your selfish and imbecile ways as soon we’re back to our apartment and I forgive you, how do I know you do love me?”
“I— I love you! I do!” He said as he stopped the car in a red light in the busy Monaco streets, the despair clear on his face eary eyes as he stared into you.
“That isn’t what you said just three days ago!” You fought back, because yes there wasn’t anything more in the world that you wanted than to fix things with Charles, but you were scared because you didn’t wanted to feel the way you felt last week locked in that miserable apartment taking all of Charles’ shitty attitudes, wondering what the fuck you had done wrong knowing there wasn’t any answer to that question, and wondering why your boyfriend won’t love you.
“And I didn’t mean any of it! I was angry and upset I know that I shouldn’t have said it and i am sorry” he argued back, but way more calmer than you, probably because he knew that you were drunk and if the both of you got upset and disturbed you’d probably won’t get to anything, and he didn’t want that, he wanted to fix things, to get you back, to go back to the thing you had before knowing that he was the one that wreck it, which destroyed him more.
“But how do I know that! How do I know you’re telling the truth!” You cried, making Charles’ stomach twirl inside of him, there was nothing that he hated more than to see you cry and he hated it even more knowing that he was the reason of it as he watched you visibly shake in the seat beside him, the alcohol in your system definitely not helping you as you started to feel the ferrari was getting smaller and the air was missing in you lungs.
He parked the car on the apartment parking lot as he got out of the car as fast as his feet allowed him to, surrounding the car to once again open the car door of your side but not for you to get out as he grabbed you by the legs turning around to face him as he crouched beside you, one of his hands grabbing you gently by the jaw, wanting for you to focus on him for a sec and not the awful thoughts he knew were filling your head by the second.
“Hey, hey, look at me, ok? Focus on me baby, c’mon” he called you out softly as he rubbed your tight in a sweetly manner in an attempt for you to steady your breath, you did as you were told wanting to calm down as well staring into his bright green eyes that somehow always gave you comfort.
“You know it’s true because…” he paused for a second trying to formulate what to say in his head as he smiled and continued. “Because I love with everything that i have, and I can’t even bare the thought of not having you in my life, because my chest hurts every time i even began to imagine a life without you by side, because this past few days without you in the house have been hell, because for i fact that can do this without and more importantly I don’t want to because baby the rest of the world doesn’t matter if I don’t have you, I want you and need you back because I don’t care about the fancy ass cars, and the parties and the championship because what’s the point of winning races if I don’t drink the celebratory champagne with you, because I love you, and you’re the only one I care and want me beside me, kissing as we celebrate and hugging after a crappy day and from now on there won’t be a day where I don’t show it to you I promise you that, and as well I’ll spend the fucking rest of the summer break proving to you that I am sorry for the way I treated you and how much I fucking mean it when I say I love you”
He wanted to say so much more, but he didn’t really had the chance to as you grabbed his face and kissed him.
Charles could swear he felt like he could breath again after those three miserable days as his lips touched yours, it was a sweet intimate kiss as your hand snaked to the back of his neck as the other grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie you wanting him to be as close as posible as he smiled into the kiss.
“I missed you” you finally admitted the confession that was stuck in the back of your throat since the moment you saw him arrive to the club making you both giggle.
“I missed so much too Mon Amour, all I’ve fucking done in these past days was be miserable as I thought bout you” you laughed into his lips as he began to leave a path of kisses through your jaw mumbling how much he had missed you in between the kisses.
“Couldn’t get you out my fucking head, it’s like you’re injected in me” he mumbled as you giggled softly once again, grabbing his face to kiss him again.
“I swear to god Leclerc, treat me or act the way you did again and I’ll cut your dick off” you threatened kind of jokingly making him join you in your soft laughter.
“Oh no chérie, that will not be happening again you have I promise you by my f1 driver honor” he said as he pressed one of his hands on his chest, by his heart like he was swearing in a court or something as the other snaked behind your knees as he grabbed you by surprise when suddenly he lifted you bridal style out of the car, making you squeal loudly as he closed the car door walking away from the Ferrari with you in his arms like it was nothing.
“That doesn’t even exist!” You chuckle as he got inside the elevator laughing too.
“It does!” He defended himself. “You’re just not a f1 driver so you don’t know about it amour”
You denied with your head still laughing as he smirked at you.
“How about we go back to our home baby, and you let me show you how sorry I am” he whispered, mouth pressed in your ear as you felt the skin in the back of your neck go cold and your lower abdomen flutter in anticipation
“Jummm, that does sound good Mr. Leclerc” you smiled at him, as you pressed your forehead with his as the elevator opened in your floor.
“Well let’s go baby” he said as he made his way on to your apartment.
So you both got into the apartment to the shower where Charles truly showed you how sorry he was he took off your dress and washed your body and hair leaving kisses in everything inch of it, to then wrapped you in a towel and brush your hair with you sitting in his lap.
Then you both basically pass out on the bed till the day after at 2pm.
Where he woke you up with the best breakfast you had eaten in a long time and two tickets for Portofino and all the bags already packed as he also showed you in some other ways how sorry he was.
THE END.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x oc#f1 oneshot#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc x female character#f1 fic#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc x reader#f1 angst#f1 series#f1 imagine#ferrarri#ferrari 488#f1 x reader#f1 one shot
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Unknown (matty healy x reader)*
WARNINGS: THIS IS SMUT, IF I FIND OUT A MINOR READS THIS IM TELLING UR PARENTS
a/n: this is a part 2 to all things end, this one is based off of the song unknown by hozier. listen to it, it's such a good song
You spent months living your life before you let yourself think about him again. You were invited to a dinner party at the Hann’s, it would’ve been weird if he wasn’t invited. You were thinking of it as something of a preemptive strike against yourself–finally thinking through and addressing your relationship with Matty.
It’d been easy so far, he’d been away on tour so things in your flat were like they always were, apart from the day after you knew they’d all gotten back when George showed up to your flat, asking for some of his things. You let him take most of Matty’s things, from a list you saw he was reading off of from a text on his phone–a guitar he particularly loved, some of his clothes he didn’t pack for tour, and his stack of full notebooks he’d compiled over the years. He let you keep all the records housed in a floor-to-ceiling shelf in your living room. You knew there were some especially rare ones in the collection, ones you knew he tracked down after years and years of looking.
You decided the best way to really digest everything you’d hid away in a locked-up cupboard in your mind was to write a letter. You didn’t go into it thinking you’d ever give it to him, but you just wanted to write down all the things you wish you could say to him, so you could start again with a clean slate of sorts.
Dear Matty,
To start out this letter, I should tell you that, even now, I think I’ll always love you. Of course you knew this from our last proper conversation, but it’s still true now over 2 months later. We did so much together, you’ll always have a piece of my heart, and I hope mine your’s.
I try not to think about you when I see the ashtray I made for you during that week of quarantine when I got really into pottery. It still sits at its home on the window sill of the bathroom. I try not to turn my head too quickly when I’m out in public and I hear a Northern man speaking behind me. I don’t think I can ever watch True Romance again without thinking about my favourite song, I don’t think I could listen to Fugazi again without thinking of that goddamn t-shirt you wore until it was covered in holes.
I never said it enough, but I’m still so proud of you. For everything. You are a true image of dreams being accomplished, you’re basically a legend in the making. I know you never liked me inflating your ego too much, but I hope you’ll take this compliment at least this once.
This could be misconstrued as a little selfish, but I hope you’re hurting as much as I have been. I hope you struggle to think of me, I hope you reminisce on the good times and dwell on the tough times. I don’t know where you’re staying at the moment, I’m still getting all your mail so you mightn’t have gotten a new place yet, so you’re probably staying with George or someone, but I hope there’s things that remind you of me. Like those cufflinks I bought you for the first of your birthdays we spent together or when you see a movie on Netflix you know I love.
I hope that when we see each other again, there’s not a shred of any contempt in my heart. We don’t have to be friends, but it would kill me if we couldn’t even speak.
Love From Me
As you folded it and slid it into an envelope you felt so much lighter. And with it placed at the bottom of the drawer of your nightstand, you felt like you could breathe freely–for the first time in months.
Now you just had to face him. A task easier said than done, even with your previous exercise, it was a bandaid that made the pain bearable.
The evening of the dinner, you made sure to look your best. Not for Matty, no. You needed to show everyone else that you were fine–you were sure Matty had told them all about what happened, and the only one of his bandmates you’d spoken to was George. It was a shock when you got the text from Carly asking if you were free, you thought the end of your relationship with Matty would mean the end of your friendship with the people around him. Not to say you weren’t pleasantly surprised, just a little bit caught off guard.
You did a quick once-over before you headed out the door, and in the least self-conceited way, you’d never looked hotter. Your makeup was perfect, your hair had that fluffy, 90s supermodel look, and you were wearing a dress that fit you like a glove, in a colour that was the perfect compliment to your glowing skin.
On the drive there you were trying to psych yourself up. It wasn’t a big deal…You could do this. Even as you were walking towards the front door and you could hear laughs inside, you kept telling yourself you would be okay…even if you didn’t believe it all that much.
Only about a second after you pressed the doorbell, you were greeted with the sight of the one, the only Jamie Squire.
“How are you, kid?” He asked excitedly, giving you a friendly hug.
“Oh…You know,” you answered. Because he most certainly did know. You held up the mid-priced bottle of red wine you brought. “Where should this go?”
“Oh Carly’s in the kitchen,” he said.
You were glad to see Carly alone in the kitchen, checking on whatever meal was in the oven. She was just as dolled up as you–you were glad you wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb.
“Carls!” You called to her as you entered the kitchen.
She excitedly turned and gave you a hug, and gave you a compliment on your makeup. You were always grateful for the friendship between The 1975’s WAGs, past and present.
“So where’s the little rockstar?” You asked, you always loved spending time with Baby Hann, as one of his godparents you’d spent many days playing along with any game he could come up with–which were becoming more and more inventive as he got older.
“He’s at Ad’s parents’,” she answered, you frowned. “Hey, we need a night off every so often!”
“I know…I know…” You joked as you poured a glass from the bottle you brought. “Well then where’s your lovely husband? Need to tell him he should help out his wife.”
“He’s in the living room with everyone else…” She got quiet at the end of her sentence.
“Hey,” you said in a serious tone. “It’s okay, I can be around him.”
“You’re sure?”
“I think.” You laughed.
“If you say so…” She went back to preparing some kind of sauce on the stovetop, leaving you to wade into the unknown.
You followed the noise of laughter and talking. You were greeted with the sight of George standing in front of everyone else, telling some insane story of his–and the band’s–youth. He trailed off mid-sentence when you entered, and his audience all whipped their heads around to look at the interruption.
Immediately everyone stood, each taking turns to greet you with a polite hug. Last was Matty, he hung back as everyone else said hello. You were so distracted you didn’t notice him at first, but when you did, it was clear how he’d been doing. His hair was longer than before, but not in a way that seemed like he was trying to grow it out, he had a light sprinkle of stubble, and the suit he wore–a staple for him recently–was wrinkled and it looked just a little too big on him.
You politely gave him a kiss on the cheek. You were engulfed in the scent of his cologne, a scent you didn’t realise you missed so dearly.
“How are you, love?” He asked. Love. Sometimes things don’t change, you thought.
“I’m alright,” you said with a bright facade. “Busy with work.”
“Good! Me too,” he answered.
Soon you were whisked away by whomever wanted to talk to you next, not even given an opportunity to say goodbye.
And that was how it went for most of the evening, you’d somehow end up standing next to each other, and someone would intervene. You couldn’t blame your friends, they just wanted to minimise the tension, but there was nothing that could be done about your heart shattering more and more every time you got a look at him.
It got later into the night, and soon the group began to get thinner and thinner. At just a few stragglers left, you saw Matty in the back garden, smoking a cigarette and scrolling through his phone. It was time.
Maybe it was the bottle of wine giving you the courage, but you knew you couldn’t end the night without a proper conversation with Matty, it would be just plain rude not to.
He didn’t react at hearing the clunk of your heels on the wooden deck he was sitting on, only when you sat down right next to him. All he did was offer you a drag of his cigarette which you took, like old times.
“I’m glad you came,” he said after you handed the ciggie back to him. “Here, I mean.”
“Me too…” You answered. “Was a fun night.”
“Did you see how pissed Charli was?” He smiled. “G had to carry her to the car.”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” you laughed. “So…uh…where are you staying at the moment?”
“I’ve been bouncing around…” He answered. “Here for tonight.”
You nodded. He seemed quite content to keep scrolling on his phone in silence, but you didn’t want to quit.
“Do you think we could be friends?” You asked. “One day, I mean…eventually.”
Matty looked at you–properly–for the first time since you sat down. “I hope so. Just…”
“What?”
“I need to get over some stuff before that,” he said, nonchalantly, stubbing out his cigarette on the wood of the deck. “Like…I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love you. Like ever.”
Your heart sank at the admission. Everything you’d done to prepare yourself to face him calmly suddenly went out the window.
“Then what are we doing?”
He looked confused by your question.
“Why are we both miserable and just not doing anything about it? Why did we decide to split up if this was how it would end up?”
You were admittedly a bit drunker than you realised at first, you’d never have as much courage to talk to him about all this if you were completely sober.
“Because…” He started. “We run our course.”
“Who says?” You could feel something–Anger? Passion?–bubbling up. “Why should we suffer doing something that neither of us really want? Why were we so rash with all this?”
That last question was more to yourself, why did you give up so easily? You could see Matty’s eyes had a slight gloss to them, yours matched them.
“I don’t know.” Was all he said. And it was enough to solidify your decision of what you were about to do.
You began to lean forward, strong eye contact between the two of you. Matty met you in the middle and before you knew it you were engulfed in the warmth of his kiss, now letting the tears flow freely. It was some kind of cathartic release, all pent up over the last few months.
You didn’t break away until you were in desperate need of air. You both caught your breaths, just staring at each other. Eventually Matty let out a small chuckle.
“What?” You asked, confused but matching his grin.
“Was just thinking…” He started. “I’m supposed to stay here tonight…And I don’t know how I’m gonna sneak out to spend the night with you.”
You laughed. “Well that’s very presumptuous of you.”
“Well I know my audience…” He quipped. It was true, he knew the kind of person you were, as evident when you brought him back to your flat after your first proper date and silently begged him not to judge you–which he didn’t.
You both sat in silence for a little while, a comfortable silence. You didn’t want to go back inside, you felt safe in just Matty’s presence. But you were thinking, how would you explain this to everyone? Simple, you didn’t have to. As much as you loved the band and everyone that came along with them–your family–you did like being alone some of the time. And you thought it best to be alone right now.
“Well I’m going home,” you said, standing up.
“What do I do?” He asked.
“I don’t know! Come up with some excuse! Like you need another pack of fags or something!”
“Carly doesn’t like me smoking here! I had to sneak that one!” He pointed to the butt that was sitting crumbled on the deck next to him.
You sighed. “Just come up with something?”
He laughed. “I’ll try…”
You bid a farewell to the last of the group, and thanked the wonderful couple for hosting. As you turned the ignition of your car, a sense of excitement ran through you. You felt like a teenager again, sneaking around with a boy that made you giddy.
When you got back to your flat, you hurriedly tidied as best you could; making your bed, drying and putting away the dishes you’d left on the sink. When you finally had the time to get a look at yourself in the mirror and saw the sight before you, you quickly refreshed your makeup, fixing your smudged lipstick and creased concealer.
And then you waited on your sofa, after you poured yourself a glass of wine to keep your fearlessness going. Time ticked by ever so slowly. You must’ve checked your phone about two hundred times over the course of about 50 minutes. Eventually you heard a series of rapid knocks at your door, it could only be him. As soon as you opened the door his lips were on yours, feverish and rough.
“What took so long?” You asked in between kisses.
“Had to wait for everyone to leave…” Another kiss. “And then for Hann and Carly to go to bed.”
You just smiled. You had the adrenaline of a horny teenager.
In a flurry of clothes being stripped off between biting, hot kisses, you made your way to your bedroom. A task that was easy for Matty, purely for muscle memory.
There was no need to warm up to it. You straddled Matty and engulfed him in another kiss that almost made you melt.
“You want me to wear a condom?” He asked in a string of breaths, trying not to focus on the heat radiating from you on his thighs.
“I know I’m still clean, are you?”
“Of course.” Was his way of saying there’d been nobody else, An admission that made you beam.
You took gentle hold of his cock, running your thumb over the tip and eliciting a moan from him. And even more as you slowly lowered down on him. It felt comfortable, like home.
As you began to bounce, keeping firm eye contact with Matty, you could feel a bubble start to form in your abdomen.
You felt your spine turn to jelly when Matty placed two firm fingers on your clit, massaging it in a familiar pattern that you hadn’t felt in months. You were rapidly approaching the edge.
“Ma–Baby…” You began to get out. “Al-almost there…”
“Do you want me on top?” He asked, you nodded.
In a flash, Matty readjusted you so you were laying on top of the mattress, lifting your hips up just a little so he could hit that spot, over and over and over again.
You were biting your lip to stop from letting out the most guttural moan, you just about drew blood. But you just couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Once Matty had hit your g-spot one last time, you just unravelled underneath him. He kept thrusting as you ran out your high, but it wasn’t long before he was emptying into you and collapsing next to you.
In a hazy silence, you both were laid on your bed–yours and his–catching your breaths. After a few minutes of recovery, you sat up a little to look at Matty. He was staring at the ceiling with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on him.
“You alright there?” You asked, with a smile of your own.
“Yeah just…” He took a second to gather his thoughts. “Just really, really happy.”
“Me too.”
The rest of your evening–in a word–was still. You were sat in bed, now under the covers with legs intertwined, just talking. Talking about anything, everything, what you missed out on each other’s lives in the past couple months.
But there was one thing you wanted to tell him–needed to tell him. It was whispering at you from the drawer of your nightstand.
“I have something for you,” you said.
“Oh?” Matty asked with a smile as turned away from him to retrieve the envelope. “Is it a good something or a bad something?”
“Good, I think.” You handed him the envelope that had ‘to Matty’ scrawled on the front. “I wrote it a couple days ago, I just wanted to get all my feelings out.”
As he opened the envelope and quickly scanned the paper within, he got the memo. “A letter for me?”
“You don’t have to read it, or if you want to I can leave the room if that makes it easier…”
“No, you don’t have to…” He said with urgency. “Just sit with me?”
You nodded and shimmied closer to him as he read. It took a couple minutes, after he was done, he folded it back up and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. You finally looked at him, he had tears in his eyes.
“I…” He said shakily. “I love you so much. And I’m never letting you go again.”
#matty healy x reader#matty healy imagine#matty healy smut#matty healy fic#matty healy oneshot#Spotify
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Strawberry Jam
Summary: Bucky comforts you after you have a rough day at work.
Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader
WC: 3.1k words
Warnings: Smut. Fluff. Emotional Hurt/Comfort. Vaginal fingering. Dirty talk. Vaginal sex. Unprotected sex. Wife kink. Marriage Kink. Overstimulation. Multiple orgasms. Passionate sex.
Writing is my only source of Income in this pandemic. If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my Patreon. It’s just $2 a month and helps a lot while I go through these hard times.
Bucky mixed the gooey hot red am with the wooden spoon, breathing in deep to get the sweet smell, ready to pot them up.
He was doing this especially for you - you loved homemade jam with all your heart, and ate it almost every day. The jar you had at home was now empty, however, and he was trying his best to make a version of it.
Bucky had just come back from the farmer’s market, where he had gone to buy more fruits and veggies for just the third week in a row. They didn’t have your beloved strawberry jam there, but the seller was nice enough to give him the basic recipe to make it at home.
Your new house routine was something he was just starting to get used to. The two of you had moved in together recently, a little over a month ago. Bucky had left the compound, retired at last, and now his days were filled with being whatever version of a non-married househusband he could be while just your boyfriend. His retirement pension was enough for him to live on his own forever, and your job wasn’t bad either.
So right now, you two had a lot of plants, a dog and a moody cat, and no couch yet, and were planning to get married in the next couple of years - he was looking for a ring, actually.
And speaking of your dog, Phoebe was watching him with a lot of curiosity and pleading eyes, always the hungry girl, and Bucky scoffed, leaving the jar and picking up a strawberry from the counter, taking off the green part before tossing it to her, moving right back to putting the jam in the jar, realising quickly he needed a second one when half of the jam was still in the pan.
Once he finished, he was very proud of what he saw.
It looked good, it smelled good, and he was sure it tasted good too.
Maybe he should bake something to eat with that jam. Maybe biscuits?
Or bread.
He really liked baking home bread. His favourite was sourdough.
Bucky was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard the sound of the door opening and Phoebe’s paws on the floor as she ran to greet you, overexcited as always.
He waited to hear you come over and say hi, but the house kept silence aside from a few mumbles as you said hi to Phoebe and Alpine, probably with some kisses.
Finally, you walked to the kitchen and leaned onto the door frame, looking at him with a sad and weak smile.
“Hey,” you spoke softly.
His shoulders fell in a when he realised the sadness behind your voice.
“Hi," Bucky cleaned his hand, moving to you.
He pressed a little kiss to your lips, worried, and you sighed a little.
You were a lawyer, which was a very tasking job, and sometimes mined your whole energy, or took a little more of your heart than you were initially willing to give.
Recently, you’d been working on the case of a kid who had had to go through a second amputation surgery after an accident in a restaurant months after his first imputation, both on the same leg. The family was suing for the legal and medical expenses, which included his therapy, and monetary compensation that would be used for the boy’s tuition once he decided to go to college.
“What happened?” he asked gently, raising his hand to caress your hair.
“They want to test the ramp of the restaurant,” you told him. “To see if it was possible for him to fall.”
“Okay,” Bucky nodded slowly.
“But they renovated the whole place!” you pointed you, growing angry. “And put a handle that wasn’t there that day. Mr Green’s sister took pictures while the ambulance was called! It looks completely different!”
He reached for your face, caressing your cheek gently.
“And what did the judge say?”
“He wants to analyse the photos before saying anything,” you sighed. “And a second medical opinion. They want this kid to go through a whole medical evaluation again!”
He reached for you, caressing your cheek.
“I’m sure they’ll be reasonable and careful,” he assured you. “The doctors know it is a complicated moment for him. And his dads are going to be there.”
You sighed, pinching your nose.
“They are also insinuating his dads were neglectful with him and that was why he fell,” you added. “I swear to God, that restaurant…”
You hid your face in his chest and groaned.
“I hate them,” you whined.
“I know,” he caressed your hair.
There was a moment of silence, and you moved your head up slowly, resting your mouth on his shoulder and looking behind him, into the kitchen.
“Is that homemade jam?” you asked, mumbling against his shirt.
Bucky threw a look at the counter.
“Yes,” he confirmed, looking back at you, a little excited for his effort being noticed. “I just made it.”
You groaned once again, though softer, against his skin.
“Did you make it yourself?” you asked.
“I did,” he told you, grinning. “Do you want to try it once it is cooler?”
You nodded, and he kissed your temple.
“Do you want me to prepare you a bath?” he offered. “And we can leave work to work?”
You sighed.
“Yes,” you mumbled. “Please.”
Bucky kissed your forehead again, slowly moving down to kiss your nose and then your lips.
He took your hand and walked with you into your bedroom, leaving you behind to set up your bath, filling up the tub and adding the bubbles and the rose oil to the slowly growing water.
He heard the sounds of your steps behind him, and raised his head to find you watching him from the door, fully naked, lips curled in a little teasing smile.
“Hey,” you rested your head on the door frame. “Still dressed?”
It didn’t matter how long you were together, Bucky was proud to never get used to seeing you naked. Seeing you never ceased to fully enchant him.
Bucky looked at himself, a little surprised at the question.
“I wasn’t planning to get inside, actually,” he looked at your face.
You feigned outrage.
“Me?” you asked, exaggerated. “On my own? In this big tub?”
Bucky scowled, and you pouted.
“It’s going to be so lonely!” you remarked. “And cold.”
He chuckled.
“In this warm water?” he asked.
“But so vast,” you teased him. “Without my husband with me.”
Bucky’s cock awoke with the little word.
Your husband.
Oh, how he loved being called your husband.
The two of you were planning to be married in the near future and were practically engaged now, but the title was still something he wanted to conquer, and loved hearing from your lips.
You reached down for him, pulling him to stand up, and Bucky held you closer as you threw your hands on his shoulders, squeezing him.
“Don’t you want to come inside with me?” you bit his lower lip. “Keep me company?”
He hummed, chuckling, and knew he couldn’t just say no to you.
“Of course, wife,” he gave your lips a peck.
You giggled, and stepped away, leaning on the counter and watching him as he took off his clothes, kicking off his shoes, pants and underwear all in one go, earning a little chuckle from you.
“Impatient?” you asked, grinning.
He just chuckled along with you.
“Always,” he shot you a playful wink.
Bucky leant to you again, holding your hips and caressing your skin with his fingers.
“Come on, wife,” he nudged you in the right direction. “Let’s get you in your bath.”
He stepped away from you, and let you take his hand as you stepped into the full tub and knelt, waiting for him to come and sit, and Bucky entered right after, relaxing at the feeling of the warm water against his skin right before you leant to rest against him, sighing.
“What do you think?” he kissed your temple. “Good?”
You nodded and he put his hand over your stomach, pulling you a little closer, and kissed your shoulder.
“You are a great lawyer,” he squeezed you. “And I’m very proud of you and of what you do.”
You whined, putting your hand over his, sounding both boomed and embarrassed.
“Bucky!” you rolled your eyes.
“I mean it!” he exclaimed.
You just shook your head.
“I don’t think so,” you breathed out. “I feel like I could do more for them.”
“Like what?” he caressed your skin gently with the hand he had on your stomach.
Bucky waited for an answer, but you grimaced, apparently not finding anything you hadn’t already done for the family you were representing.
“You have done a lot,” he kissed your temple. “Now it’s not in your hands anymore.”
You sighed and rested your head on his shoulder, and Bucky slowly moved the fingers he had on your stomach to your breast, running them on the flesh and plump bottom of it.
“You should relax,” he whispered into your ear. “Let your husband help you relax, wife.”
You squirmed, cheeks flushing in a blush.
“Bucky,” you threw your head back a little bit.
He caressed your breast slowly, massaging it and reaching for your nipple, pulling on it slowly and making you whimper.
“My pretty wife,” he touched your other breast, doing the same to it, teasing and playing with your sensitive peaks. “Such a hard-working woman, the one I found for myself.”
You arched your chest to his hands, exhaling in a very soft sound.
“You work so hard,” he played with your nipples, watching your body squirming and shivering, reacting to his touches.
He trailed one of his hands down to your hips, and felt you spreading your legs under the water.
“My pretty wife,” he kissed your neck. “A big shot lawyer…”
You giggled, and he spread your inner lips and folds, already finding them slicky and wet.
“So sensitive for her husband,” he touched your entrance.
You arched your hips, whimpering a little, and he kissed your shoulder.
“Always making me so proud…” he tapped your clit softly. “But never relaxing.”
“Bucky…” you whined.
You pouted, squirming and moaning, and he hummed along with you, kissing the sweet spots of your neck.
He could feel the difference between the actual water and your wetness, even underwater. Your pussy was slick, warm and welcoming, and practically hugged his finger tightly when he pushed it into your cunt, and you whimpered when he took his finger up to your clit again, rolling it slowly.
“Such a lovely cunt,” he cooed into your ear, fingers picking up their pace. “I can feel it drooling for me even with the water, my pretty wife. You’re always so responsive to me.”
You moaned, arching your body to him, and he squeezed your tit in his hand, reaching for your stiff nipple and pulling on it, twisting it, grinning as he watched your face twisting and heard the mix of a gasp and a moan coming from your lips.
“Such perfect tits,” he kissed the curve of your neck. “And a perfect cunt, so hungry and so receptive.”
You continued to moan and squirm, with his name falling from your lips along with your little sounds, as his fingers never stopped to play and tease your clit and tit.
He knew he was going to be gladly buried in there tonight, licking and sucking your folds, taking orgasm after orgasm from you until you were a wreck, foggy eyed and only able to say his name.
But right now, you were having a relaxing bath, and he was never going to stop his perfect wife from relaxing.
So he played you like you were his favourite instrument - which you were - as he whispered sweet dirty words into your ears and felt your body moving and heard your moans growing, and held you down when your hips started thrusting against his hand.
“You’re gonna cum, my pretty wife?” he kissed your shoulder. “Gonna cum for your husband?”
“Yes,” you cried. “Yes, Bucky, please.”
He picked up on his pace, holding you down as you came, quivering and shaking, crying out loud.
You were still quivering when he stood up, picking you up and walking back to your bedroom, and threw you on the bed.
“Bucky!” you squeaked, giggling.
James climbed on top of you, not caring about how your bodies were getting everything wet, and kissed your lips hungrily.
“My pretty wife,” he kissed your neck, moving down and kissing your chest before he grabbed your knee, pushing it up.
You pushed your fingers into his hair, pulling him right back and kissing him, and he angled his cock, pushing it into your cunt and resting his forehead on his when you gasped. He’d been hard since you sat between his legs in the tub.
Fuck, you were so wet, so warm.
“Bucky,” you closed your eyes.
“My wife,” he grunted against your lips, thrusting into you. “Always so wet for me.”
You arched your hips, meeting his strokes, already sensitive from your previous orgasm, as your cunt squeezed his cock, hungry and slicky. It was so easy for him to make you cum. Bucky loved taking and taking them from you, making you scream for him.
So he took his fingers to your cunt, and played with your clit, devouring your lips and your moans as he worked on making you feel good, and pulled back to look at your face when you inhaled deeply.
It was an image he truly adored, the way cheeks flushed, and your eyes closed, and your lips parted as you found your way over the edge.
The walls of your cunt fluttered around his cock, and he had to hold himself from cumming for a split of a moment, completely taken by you.
And then you pulled him back, kissing him with even more hunger than before, moving your body to get closer to him, and pouted when he pulled away from you.
“Husband,” you whined.
Bucky grunted at the name, throbbing inside you, and took his lips down to your neck, sucking on it before pushing his lips to your chest. The position you two were before didn’t make it easy for him to access them, but now they were right in front of him.
He bit the flesh of your tits for a moment, and then your nipple, and bit down on it gently before sucking on your flesh.
He loved sucking marks on your skin, marking you, to make everyone know you were his. It was sad that he needed to keep his bruises a little hidden because of your job.
As long as you knew it and they reminded you of how you were his, it was enough.
“Bucky,” you arched your chest.
“Want to make you feel good,” he rolled your clit in his finger, earning a whimper from you.
He pinched your clit a little and chuckled when you squeaked, cunt fluttering around his cock again, and your sounds made it even more obvious how you were already near the edge.
“James!” you gasped, arching your body to him. “Oh, fuck.”
“You’re gonna cum again?” he asked, smiling at you. “Already, baby?”
You pouted.
“Want to cum together,” you affirmed, moving your fingers on his back and running your nails over his skin. “Please, husband.”
He looked back at your face and rubbed his nose on yours.
“Please,” you panted. “I want to make you feel good.”
Your cunt squeezed his cock, getting wetter and warmer.
“Y/N,” he grunted.
He was holding himself back for quite a bit of time. Bucky wanted to ravish you, to make you come apart.
Still, you pulled him up, and kissed him.
“Please,” you moaned. “Together.”
How could he say no?
Bucky angled himself, resting his forehead on yours and moaning when your walls squeezed him, joining you in your soft wanton cries.
“Cum with me,” you pleaded. “Please, husband. Fill me up.”
He grunted, squeezing you close as he thrust into you, letting his eyes close and his body take him.
“With me,” he grunted, playing faster with your clit. “Cum with me. Milk my cock.”
You pulled him up to kiss him, moaning into his lips as your cunt started squeezing around him, triggering his orgasm along with yours, and he rode it fucking you, faster and faster, and slowly down little by little.
Bucky had his eyes closed when you kissed him, first his nose and then his jaw, and then his lips again, brushing his hair with your fingers.
He pulled himself from inside you and laid by your side, pulling you to his chest and kissing your temple, moving his fingers up and down your back.
“Rest a little,” he instructed. “I still want to devour your cunt.”
You laughed into his neck, amused, but Bucky scowled, reaching down and pinching your ass.
“I mean it!” he insisted.
You raised your head to look at him, pressing your lips to his and giving him a hungry kiss.
“I can’t wait,” you assured him.
You lied back, but pulled back with a surprised face when you seemed to realise something.
“Bucky, I almost forgot!” you exclaimed. “The Greens invited me to Joshua’s birthday and said I could take my partner with me.”
He raised his eyebrows, a little surprised, and you moved your hand to metal hand, interlacing your fingers with his.
“I want to go,” you told him, firmly. “But you don’t have to come if you didn’t want to. I know you don’t like parties.”
Parties were noisy, and he wasn’t that big of a fan of noise. But the invitation had been extended not just to you, but to him too.
He was about to answer when an idea sparked in his mind.
“Would they mind if I brought one of the guys?” he asked. “Do you think the boy would like to meet one of the Avengers?”
It was your turn to look a little surprised. It wasn’t like you made your relationship with Bucky public. The few pictures you had with him in your office had a remarkable lack of his face and arm in them, to keep his privacy intact. He doubted anyone ever made such a connection.
“I can ask them,” you told him. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I’m sure Tony will be happy to send a fun gift, and either Sam or Steve are happy to show up. Or Clint, too.”
You nodded, laying back down.
“Okay, I’ll ask them about it.”
Bucky kissed your cheek again, and squeezed you close with his right arm.
“Come on,” he bit your lower lip, chuckling a little with the joke in his own mind. “Let’s get you something to eat before it’s my turn to eat you.”
. . .
"Strawberry Jam" was posted on my Patreon back in July! To Have early access to all of my fic, consider subscribing! It's just $2 a month!
. . .
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes x reader imagine#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x reader#bucky x reader fanfic#bucky x reader smut#bucky x reader fic#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x you fanfic#bucky barnes x you smut#bucky barnes x you fic#bucky x you#bucky x you fanfic#bucky x you fic#bucky x you smut#winter soldier#winter soldier fanfiction#winter soldier smut
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Reaction: Red Velvet - You Can't Fall Asleep Without Them
Idol: Red Velvet
{ Fluff }
Requested: Yes!
- - -
Note: Thank you to the anon that requested this! And to other people that requested, I'll write as many as I can. Enjoy~
Irene:
When she came home after a long practice session with the girls, she found you curled up on the bed, humming mindlessly to yourself.
Her heart warmed at the sight and warmed even more once you spotted her, inviting her into your now open arms.
“I’m home.” She murmured softly, settling herself against you.
“Mmm, finally, I can sleep.” You mumbled into her shoulder, before closing your eyes and tightening your hold on her.
Irene felt her heart fill with joy (no pun intended) and she drifted off to sleep herself, secretly loving the fact that you needed her.
. . .
Seulgi:
Seulgi sat on the couch, basically on the edge of her seat and mussing her hair constantly as she watched the last few episodes of her favorite drama.
“No no no! He was dead, wasn’t he?!”
“Seulgi, pleaseee.” You whined for the third time. “Let’s go to sleep, I’m exhausted! Work was horrible today.”
“One second, Y/N. There’s just 2 more episodes to go.”
“But I’ve told you, it’s really hard for me to fall asleep without you there.” You yawned. Seulgi quickly paused the episode.
“Wait, really? You can’t sleep without me?” Seulgi cooed.
“Mm-hm.”
“Okay, then. Let’s go to bed. I don’t want you to be too sleepy tomorrow.”
. . .
Wendy:
It was 11pm and Wendy still hadn’t returned from the kitchen. You sighed, deciding to go see what your girlfriend had gotten herself into at this late hour.
You couldn’t say you were surprised to find her mixing a bowl of some kind of pastry dough. Wendy usually made sweets whenever she was under stress.
Wendy took one look at your tired face and confessed her worries.
“Our new choreo is so complicated. Which is a good thing because our Luvies have always wanted better for us!” She rambled on. “But at the same time, I’m worried I can’t keep up with the members. They’re just such good dancers and our comeback is in 2 weeks and-“
She was interrupted by the feeling of your arms hugging her from behind.
“Wendy, I’m sure whatever you’re making is delicious and normally I’d help you finish it. But I’m really, really tired and…I have trouble sleeping without you.”
“Your best is enough, Wendy. I know you’re gonna kill this choreo. And all the fancy vocals.” Wendy leaned back into you, before letting out a sigh of relief.
“I know you’re right, Y/N. Here, let’s put this in the fridge and go back to bed, since you know, you can’t sleep without me.” She gave you a cheeky smile.
. . .
Joy:
“I’m home!”
You looked up from the book you were trying to read, smiling at your girlfriend. She seemed bouncier than usual, and you suspected it was because of the numerous shopping bags she had in each arm.
“I see you went shopping. Did you go with the girls?” You asked, trying to suppress a yawn. The sun had gone down hours ago, and you’d had a long shift at work.
“I did! But you shouldn’t have waited up for me if you’re this tired. Didn’t you work overtime today?”
“Yeah, but..” you yawned. “I kinda have a hard time going to sleep without you.”
Joy was quiet for a moment, before tossing all the bags onto the couch and speedwalking her way to you.
“Let’s get you to bed then.” She cooed, her arms around your waist and her head on your shoulder. “I can’t let my love be too sleepy for our date tomorrow.”
. . .
Yeri:
“To be or not to be, that is the question!”
“What…I thought we were rehearsing for your drama?” You laughed, and soon Yeri began to laugh with you. You’d been up helping her for her latest drama, which would begin to shoot the following day.
“I know, I know! I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.” Yeri gave you a cheeky smile. “You seem pretty tired.”
You yawned. “A bit, but the more I help you rehearse, the faster we can get to bed.”
“That’s very sweet, but if you’re this tired I can practice by myself?” Yeri put an arm around your shoulders, stroking a finger against your arm.
“I could try, but I can’t really fall asleep without you there with me.”
Yeri’s face lit up.
“Really? That is so cute.” She pinched your cheek. She stood up, taking the script from your hands and putting it aside, along with hers.
“There, I think I’ve rehearsed enough. Besides, I’m really craving some cuddles right now.”
#red velvet#red velvet reactions#red velvet imagines#red velvet x reader#red velvet fluff#kpop imagines#kpop reactions
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Levi Ackerman x Reader - Almost
Chapter 3: Taste
Modern AU Levi Ackerman x Reader fanfic I've been dying to write! Levi is my latest hyper fixation so this was bound to happen. There will be other AOT characters in the mix, but remember this is a modern AU!
Chapter Summary: Levi stops in the coffee shop again to ask reader out on another date. We get a bit of Levi's POV and some backstory!
WARNING: SOME SMUT AHEAD
ao3 link
The next day you wake up with butterflies in your stomach and an intense feeling of anxiety in your body.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Your alarm read 6 AM. You have to be at work by 7, and you'll probably walk in to the 9-5 crowd.
To be honest, you barely slept. You kept replaying last night over and over in your head until you eventually nodded off to sleep. Seeing Levi's name on your phone screen made your heart soar, so you knew you needed to push your feelings down. Levi is not the type of man to show PDA, or even tell you he likes you.
From what you can tell, he definitely at least tolerates you.
As you got out of the shower, you saw your phone screen light up.
Levi: Good morning. I hope you slept well.
Levi Ackerman texts like an old man. But its cute.
You: Good morning, I slept like a baby. How did you sleep?
You lied. Obviously. You didn't sleep because you were too busy thinking about the very man you were texting.
Levi: I didn't.
You: ??? You didn't sleep?
Levi: No. I rarely do. I'll see you soon, brat.
It's not very surprising that Levi doesn't sleep much if at all, but that still worried you. Sleep is very important when it comes to basic life functioning, and you know Levi's life is filled with stress.
You put on your uniform and put your hair in a half up, half down style. One day when you own your own coffee shop, there won't be any uniforms.
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
"I can help who's next." You look up from the register, only to see your favorite pair of eyes.
"Medium black tea please." Levi peered through his jet black locks. His undercut looks freshly done, he must've done it after our date last night.
Date? Hang out?
"Will you ever try a new drink?" You smile at him, tapping the numbers in on the iPad.
"No. I like what I like and it hasn't done me wrong yet." Levi handed you his card in between his pointer and middle finger. "Are you busy this weekend?"
"I'm not actually. I have the weekend off." You slide his card and hand it back to him. "Any exciting plans for you?"
"Maybe." Levi shrugged, putting his card in his sleek wallet. "If you say yes."
This caught you off guard. Levi wanted to hang out again? So soon?
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ LEVI ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
I'm not good with communicating my emotions. That is unbearably obvious. I have never been the type to step out of my comfort zone and confess my true feelings to anyone.
This all started with my mother. Of course.
After witnessing her die, I did not want to speak ever again. She was everything to me. Not only was I a child, but I was an only child. A child is not supposed to lose their mom so early on in life.
I honestly rarely have feelings for anyone. I have... 2 friends. Erwin and Hange. So 1 and a half.
I currently see a therapist because I'm 30 years old and I'm getting the feeling that I want to be settled down soon. You know, kids and all that. I'm already a CEO, I have the house of my dreams, but I'm missing someone to share it with.
I've tried dating. No woman ever sticks. Either they just want sex, my money, or attention. They never want me.
When I met her, I felt a tingle in my chest. Seeing her face every morning and getting my tea for me gives me the same feeling every day.
So, my therapist told me to step up and ask her out.
It took me 6 months - but I did it.
Our date, if we want to call it that, since I'm not sure what she thought of it, went perfectly. Her personality meshes with mine in a way that it's written in novels. I can be rather dry with my sense of humor, but she gets it. She gets me.
I didn't kiss her last night, or even hug her, but God do I want to. I'm not sure if I get a taste of her if I'll ever be able to let go.
An image of her was playing over and over in my head as I was showering last night, her black dress clinging to her curves. Her thighs peeking out of her stockings drove me crazy. But I kept my composure.
Obviously, I had to relieve myself. In the shower. Thinking of her.
I haven't even touched her yet and she has me like this.
My therapist said that it's okay for me to feel this intensely, that it's 'normal'. Who even decides what's normal anyways?
I haven't told Hange or Erwin about her yet, and I don't plan too until if and when we decide to actually be together. I don't need their opinions or Hange's excitement rumbling in my ear.
"If you say yes." I sip my tea, looking at her. Her eyes were doe-like, which made the pit of my stomach feel hot.
"Let me know what you wanna do, I'm yours this weekend." She smiled, helping the next customer in line.
Does she know that my dick is hard right now because of what she just said? How little she just said?
I lifted my cup and left the cafe, heading towards my car to go to the office.
Bzzzzzz.
"Ackerman, can you come in earlier? A few people want to meet with you about a project they want you to fund." Hange almost screamed into the phone.
"4 eyes, I can hear you perfectly fine if you talk at a normal tone. Yeah, I'm on my way."
"Well I can't control the volume!"
"You actually can. Goodbye." I hung up, starting the car. I glanced at the window of the coffee shop, watching her smile at customers and hand them their drinks. Her smile warmed my cold heart, slowly defrosting the ice that encases it.
Does she know she's all I can think about?
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ BRATTY BARISTA ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
You cannot believe you just told Levi Ackerman you were his this weekend. Did he think you were a slut? Did he think you were gonna put out?
That thought left your brain when you remembered who you were talking about. Levi Ackerman is a gentleman before anything, which he's shown you.
You heard your coworker Nina call your name, who also happens to be one of your good friends.
"Did that fine ass man ask you out this weekend?!" She leaned against the counter, smiling. "I knew he wanted to get with you!"
"Yes, we went out last night too actually." A blush blessed your cheeks as you washed your hands.
"How was the short king? How were his lips?!"
"We didn't kiss." You looked at her, hoping she wouldn't drag the conversation further.
"What?! So was it even a date? I usually go way farther than a kiss on a first date-"
"Did you date Levi Ackerman?" You tilted your head, emphasizing Levi's name. "I'm not rushing anything. I enjoy his company."
"I'm just saying, he looks rather kissable."
"Obviously, Nina." Your eyes rolled so far they could've gotten stuck in the back of your head. "Trust me, I want to kiss him. I would love to jump his bones. I want to every time he walks in here."
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
After your shift, you were relieved you were off for the weekend. You worked the regular 8 hours today and needed to decompress from all of the customer service.
Bzzzzz.
Levi: I was thinking we could grab a coffee tomorrow morning and head to the flea market. Not a coffee from your job though. Thoughts?
Was this man in your head?
You: That sounds amazing, actually. What time is my chariot arriving?
Levi: 8 AM. Not like you're not used to seeing me early in the morning anyways.
You: Ay-ay captain.
You've never dealt with a man that made plans for you. The fact that Levi suggested quite literally your favorite morning activities for a date made you swoon.
You spent the rest of your afternoon/night cleaning your apartment and finishing the lastest novel you picked up. Nina sent you outfit inspo for tomorrow but you were not in the mood to show off your tits at 8AM.
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
Wakeup call was 6 AM so you could make sure you were ready for your Range Rover chariot to wisk you away. Your shower helped wake you up, even though your anxiety has kept you up most of the night.
You opted for a pair of straight leg barely ripped jeans, an oversized crewneck, and platform white converse. You accessorized with various layered necklaces and small gold hoop earrings.
Makeup with your usual small winged liner with glowy skin and glossy lips. By the time you were done with everything, it was 7:45. You sprayed your favorite marshmallow vanilla perfume before grabbing your purse and checking your phone.
Nina: Good luck today! Kiss those perfect lips!!
You: I'm about to send you a video of me rolling my eyes.
Bzzzzz.
Levi: I'm early again. Your chariot awaits.
You smiled at your phone, grabbing your coat. You saw Levi's car through your window, his eyes glued onto your door. Once you walked out, Levi got out of the car and opened the passenger door.
Levi was wearing a casual outfit himself, black jeans with a grey (cashmere?) sweater, and loafers. God, he smelled good too.
"Good morning." Levi closed your door, getting back in his seat. "You look cozy."
"Thank you, so do you." You smile at him, memorizing every inch of his face. You wanted to lean in and kiss him right then and there, but you did not want to make the first move.
You weren't going to.
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
Once you parked, you walked to a coffee shop that's in the midst of the flea market. Part of you wondered why one of the richest men in the city would shop at a flea market.
Levi pressed his hand to the small of your back, ushering you out of the coffee shop. His touch sent sparks up your body.
You and Levi strolled through the different vendors, sipping your drinks and talking. You caught Levi looking at your hand a little too much, especially when you threw out your cup.
More people started to show up to the flea market, causing the crowd to get larger. Levi looked more tense, darting his eyes at every exit.
"I didn't know it would get so crowded." You try to break his thoughts, looking up at him.
Levi took your hand in his, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours. "I don't wanna lose you." Levi said so casually. You know he meant he didn't want to lose you in the crowd, but you also felt that he meant that in another way.
"Do you want to get out of here and head to my apartment? It's getting too crowded to walk." You suggest, pressing your hand against his.
"Yes please."
You've learned that Levi Ackerman does not like crowds, partially because it forces him to do PDA.
☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕
You are thankful you cleaned your apartment yesterday. Everything was in it's place, and it smelled good. Not that it didn't usually, but you live alone so if you don't clean it, no one else will.
Levi took his shoes off at the door with you, taking in his surroundings.
"You have nice taste." Levi helped you take off your coat, hanging it in your closet.
"Thank you. I try." You smile, turning to face Levi. "Thank you for this morning." You inch closer to him, watching his eyes search your face.
"Thank you for every morning." Levi leaned in, bringing his hand to your cheek gently.
For what felt like years, you and Levi looked in each other's eyes. You had a full conversation with just your eyes.
Levi eliminated the space between you and pressed his lips to yours. His lips are pillow soft and taste like mint. You slowly wrap your arms around his neck, dragging your fingers along his undercut.
His lips moved in rhythm with yours, sliding his hands down your curves to your ass. You smile against his lips, pressing your chest to his.
"If you want to stop, I-" Levi pulled away, looking in your eyes.
"Levi, please." You almost whimper, bringing his lips back to yours. You lead your bodies to the couch, straddling Levi's waist. You open your mouth as he's kissing you, letting his tongue in. His fingertips softly dragged down your back, making sure to squeeze your ass every now and then.
His tongue slipped in your mouth, exploring every inch of it. You sucked on it gently as you felt your core start to pulsate, begging for attention.
Levi moaned quietly against your lips - you could barely hear it but it happened. Your hips started moving in rhythm, his erection pressing against his jeans.
Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzz.
You pulled away from Levi, staring down at his pocket.
"I'm gonna kill whoever is calling me." Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket, rolling his eyes at the screen. "I'm sorry, it's Erwin. The President of Ackerman Inc. I have to take this, he doesn't usually call."
You nod and roll off of him, your core needy as fuck and your lips missing his.
#levi#levi fanfic#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#attack on titan fanfic#levi x reader#levi smut#levi ackerman smut#captain levi
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trying to put my (mostly) child kaeya headcanons in one spot. brace yourself this is gonna be so long
first i think he was around 8 years old when he was left in mondstadt.
before that he lived with his father always moving from place to place. or maybe... i dont know honestly. they didn't live in khaenri'ah (whatever's left of it) because i like the idea that kaeya is the last hope for a place he's only heard stories about. for people he has barely met. and he yearns for it all the same, enough to run away as a stowaway on a ship just for the slim chance he'll get to meet it, to return to a place he only knows through other people's memories... yeah it's a thought i like to entertain. so anyway i dont know where exactly kaeya lived before my headcanons for this are really vague lmao. im torn between making him be raised in some corner of teyvat, or somewhere very abyss touched, or... a secret third thing i dont yet know...
i think his mother died when he was so young he has barely any recollection of her and it haunts him a bit. he cant remember what she looked like. to have an idea he can just look in a mirror though. he's her spitting image.
unsure about siblings... i think he didnt have any
i dont think his father was abusive. neglectful maybe. he was really awful at the father job but mostly because of how emotionally distant he was. he never hit kaeya or went out of his way to be cruel to him, he was just very stern. kaeya was a child who didn't really know comfort. all his basic needs were met, but his father just wasn't the type to hug or say words of encouragement, to calm him down from nightmares, to soothe a fever beyond just bitter medicine and leaving kaeya laid down on the cot alone. i think the closest they ever got to that sort of connection was when he taught kaeya their clan's history, which we know he did from canon. that piece of paper where the handwriting shows an adult guiding a child's hand on the paper makes me. Feel Things. he was not a soft man or a good father by any means but. *gestures vaguely*
and you know what. i think he loved kaeya in his own way. which is to say that he loved kaeya more as a means to an end than as a son. or maybe not. maybe leaving kaeya was more difficult for him than i give him credit for. i cant really decide. either way 2/10 for effort his parenting sucked and left deep scars in this poor poor child BUT he was not a heartless asshole is what im trying to say
anyway kaeya has very bittersweet very mixed feelings about him. he left his own son all alone in an unfamiliar land for unclear reasons. placed a burden nobody should ever have to carry on the shoulders of a child. he never embraced him or told him he loved him. but at the same time we see kaeya in game trying to understand his father's motivations for abandoning him there. that maybe a happier life could have been a factor. his safety. assuming this is, like, true. i headcanon that it is. it's not the entire reason by far. but it could have been part of it. maybe that's called "wishful thinking". we'll find out one day i hope
i don't really know what to make of the entire "you're our last hope" thing. as in, what exactly does that entail. what did his father tell him. im just kinda waiting patiently for them to actually tell us what's up. i can tell you it was a ridiculous amount of pressure on kaeya though. he might have been mature for his age and forced to grow up faster than he should have but a lot of it was simply beyond his comprehension. like, that's an entire seven year old child. he shouldve been playing with toys. anyway. kaeya who has felt guilt as his standard everyday main emotion since he was little
i think kaeya's father taught him to speak, read and write in common, so kaeya could understand people pretty well when he was left in mondstadt and could read basic stuff
an extension of this headcanon: i think each region has their own language besides just common tongue, and that in general people can speak both, especially in the big cities, while in rural areas people will probably only speak the region's mother tongue. i read a mutual's headcanon like this once and it rewired my brain so i borrowed it. also common varies from place to place because there are different dialects from mixing with the nations' other languages. to make it fun!
so when kaeya gets to mondstadt he can't speak mondstadtian specifically but he can speak common and the ragnvindrs can all speak both. eventually as he stays there kaeya learns mondstadt's language and loses the accent (a very conscious effort from his part)
more on the accent: if you listen closely to him nowadays, some word or other still sounds odd, maybe too stiff, the way he rolls his tongue on certain letters- but it's very subtle
kaeya hasn't spoken his mother tongue in so long he inevitably has forgotten certain things, and he was so young when he stopped speaking it that there are things he simply never learned. i think this haunts kaeya sooo bad. he's someone who's always trying to keep little pieces of his past, of things that have a lot of emotional value for him; he's someone who values memories, in particular physical, tangible pieces of memories. and we see him do this with his roots, like adding khaenri'ahn symbols and motifs to his outfits, saving slips of paper written by his father about his family's story, etc..
so anyway the fact he's forgetting bits and pieces of his mother tongue makes him grasp desperately at whatever's still left of it in his memory. i wonder if he writes what he can om scraps of paper, or maybe an actual notebook; i wonder also if he did similar things as a child too? though it's something he'd have to keep insanely well hidden and the paranoia about someone finding it out would absolutely eat him alive
okay back to his childhood. when he's taken in by the ragnvindrs i think he's very quiet and only speaks when spoken to. he is so unfathomably scared and lonely and everything is terrifyingly unfamiliar but any genuine manifestation of fear and anxiety and homesickness is saved for the dead of night when everyone's asleep and won't see/hear him cry. he keeps to himself, acts very polite, doesn't bother anyone with asking for help or for anything beyond what he's already been offered.
diluc was very happy about having another kid his age living under the same roof and almost immediately saw him as a little brother and kaeya simply could not match the enthusiasm. they took it as him just being shy, and to an extent that was part of it, but also he simply did not want to be there at all. no matter how wonderfully kind those people were to him, kaeya missed his father and his mother and the homeland he didnt even know in person but that was his biggest responsibility. it was such an enormous change and he missed the familiarity so much it made him ill. like literally. i think he spent his first or second week with the ragnvindrs bedridden
im very fond of the hc that kaeya took ill easily as a child.
kaeya had nightmares often. i absolutely cannot see him asking for comfort in any direct way. most of the time he'd just hold his own hand through it. other times he'd slip out of bed and see there was still light coming from the study. he'd sit on an armchair next to crepus, who already knew kaeya would hardly ever speak about what was making him upset, and watch him work until he fell asleep again.
i think kaeya was a very scrawny kid who looked a bit younger than he actually was. next to diluc (who im always torn between making just seven months older than him, or a year and seven months older) he seemed even tinier. while diluc was the picture of a healthy boy, all full red cheeks and bright eyes, kaeya was too lean, eyes too tired, sometimes distant, like he's not entirely present, lost in thought. you could see a sadness in him sometimes that seemed deeper than anything a child his age should know. kaeya was quiet not just because he didn't speak a lot, but because he seemed to exist silently. if he disappeared to be alone for a while and didn't want you to find him, you would not find him.
and anyway. i like the idea of him slowly allowing himself to be louder as he becomes more comfortable with the ragnvindrs. and revealing his more sarcastic side lol. he's always been quick witted, he was just too timid at first
child kaeya who was such a weird kid. he spoke in a way that often lacked the childishness expected from someone who's yet to turn nine. said odd cryptic things with zero explanation. banned from sharing bedtime stories after scaring diluc with overly fucked up khaenri'ahn folk tales. normalest child alive. i think he bit into a crystalfly once
oh and kaeya absolutely came up with the whole "i come from a family of pirates" thing as a kid. i think he read about pirates in a book once and was completely enamored with the idea. and one side effect of being a secret agent pawn spy is the ability to spin wild tales on the spot. so anyway did he convince diluc he was toootally a pirate. yes. diluc believed him for way too long
no wonder he's so good at telling stories to kids nowadays. he's had practice
about the eyepatch: i can never settle on just one headcanon!! option one: his eye was fine as a kid and he only wore it sometimes for the pirate roleplay, then he started wearing it everyday after The Fight because diluc wounded him; option two: he always wore the eyepatch because there is something abyss/khaenri'ah related going on with his right eye (don't ask me what exactly. though im fond of the idea that it's connected to his father and it's basically what allows him to fulfill the spy role, in some nebulous way.) and during the fight diluc aimed for it on purpose; there's probably a secret third option im forgetting about. i lean more towards option one these days i think.
okay im out of headcanons for now. i bet that the moment i click post im gonna remember ten more. but its ok. i can make another post if needed. never forget that i can speak about kaeya for literal hours and that, if prompted, i will do so
#is anyone going to read this this is SO long#my posts#kaeyaposting#kaeya#kaeya alberich#there. it's alive
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Fun While it Lasted
Part 2 of Is It Fun?
Pairing: Dalton Lambert x fem!reader
Summary: Months after Dalton hurts you, Chris finds out why.
Warnings: spoiler for all Insidious movies (Parker Crane's story line), angst, fluff, brief mentions of harm against reader, Specs and Tucker
Word Count: 2.1k+ words
A/N: So... this was requested 3 months ago during Fic-tober 2023. And then I forgot I agreed to write it. I am so sorry for the long wait, but I think this is better than anything I could have written at the time. Sorry again, but I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍
It’s been three months since you saw Dalton. Losing him hurts, and his voice has been a constant echo in your mind.
“It is fun.”
Even after all this time, surviving winter break without him, returning to school knowing it will be different without his welcome, you still miss him. Dalton Lambert hurt you, and in the process, you lost everything you had grown to love.
Someone knocks on your door, and you open it without asking who it is, too lost in your memories to consider who it is or what they could want.
“Chris?” you ask, looking down the hall quickly.
“I’m sorry,” she begins, pushing you inside and closing the door behind you. “I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Ignoring you. For believing Dalton, I guess?”
You furrow your brows and shake your head, keeping room between yourself and Chris.
“He told me that you two broke things off and I just assumed that if things were amicable, I’d see you around, you know? And when I didn’t, I thought you were mad and decided that seeing me would include seeing him too. I don’t know what I thought, but I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
You rub the space between your eyebrows, trying to remove the crease Dalton and Chris seem determined to make permanent. The simple mention of Dalton’s name takes you back to that day in October. After months of crying yourself to sleep and tearing yourself apart to find what made him want to hurt you, you thought you were beginning to move on. Yet a few words from Chris make you ready to break down again.
The worst nights are when you think the red door opened again, which could be why he pushed you away. Remembering that movement in the shadows after you returned to your dorm haunts you. You try to forget or convince yourself it was a trick to lessen the hurt.
“So, why are you here?” you ask Chris.
“I think it’s happening again,” she confesses.
You look up at her quickly, shocked but not completely surprised.
“That’s not possible, Chris. He’s been with his mom and dad for weeks; they would have noticed.”
“He hasn’t been the same. If I’m right and there’s something going on, he’s doing a really good job of keeping it covered up.”
“Then what happened that made you come here and try to convince me to help you? That’s why you’re here right?”
“Because this is about you!” Chris exclaims, gesturing with her arms. “This started in October, as far as I can tell, right after whatever happened between you two.”
“What did he tell you?” you whisper.
“Just that he broke it off with you. Every time I asked why, he dodged the question or told me to stop being nosy.”
You chuckle as you imagine Dalton saying that. Shaking your head, you sit against your bed and decide to tell Chris the truth.
“That’s not exactly how it happened. He had been making plans with me and then never showing up, avoiding me, and I got worried.”
Chris nods, moving to sit beside you.
“So I went to his dorm to check on him, and he basically told me that he didn’t want to see me anymore and that I should have taken the hint.”
“What else?” Chris presses after you fall silent.
“He told me it was fun to see me hurt,” you answer quietly, fiddling with your fingers as you stare at your hands. “I wanted to stay and make sure he was okay, but I ran.”
“Was there anything off or unusual?” Chris lays her hand over yours, an understanding and friendship in her eyes that you missed.
“I- it was probably nothing.”
“When it comes to Dalton Lambert, the smallest things are usually something,” Chris reminds you.
“After I got back here, I thought I saw something move in the shadows. I’ve wondered pretty much daily if that was really Dalton.”
“The last time he was possessed it was obvious. But seeing things moving in the shadows isn’t a typical response to getting dumped.”
“We weren’t even together,” you remind her with a sad chuckle.
“But you were going to be. You both cared about each other, and I know you still care about him.”
“You really think he needs help?”
“I do.”
“Then what do we do?”
“I have an idea. But it requires you seeing him again.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“I think I would have noticed,” Josh argues.
“Just hear them out,” Renai says, placing a hand on Josh’s arm. “What exactly makes you think something is wrong?”
“Did Dalton mention her?” Chris asks, gesturing toward you.
“No. Not really, I mean, he mentioned they broke up and I thought it best not to pry,” Renai answers.
Josh’s gaze is on you as he answers, “You were all he could talk about in the Further. I thought it was strange that he’d let you go after that, but what do I know?”
You smile at him, tugging on your fingers as you think.
“Have you dealt with something like this before?” you ask.
“Yes,” Renai answers. “When Dalton was younger; well, you saw the picture with the hammer. That seems similar. Whatever possessed Josh made him so different and wanted to kill me and the kids.”
“Parker Crane,” Josh adds. “He was banished, but the Further is a- a strange place.”
You glance over at Chris, who takes the lead.
“Could you find out what, if anything, is happening?”
Josh sighs but nods. “If something is in Dalton’s mind though, it may know I’m digging. It’ll come after the people closest to him.”
“We need him back,” you whisper. “No matter what it costs.”
“We’ll get him,” Josh promises, resting a hand on your shoulder. “He escaped the Further for you once, the two of you can survive whatever this is.”
Assuming there is something, of course, and Dalton isn’t just here to hurt you.
✯✯✯���✯
Your heart is racing. Even though you know Chris, Josh, and Renai are standing by, you are terrified. The Further doesn’t scare you, but the idea that Chris is wrong and that Dalton truly hates you creates pure fear within you.
“What do you want?” Dalton asks when he sees you, blocking the door with his body.
“Answers,” you reply, forcing your voice to stay steady. “Tell me why.”
He laughs before asking, “Why what?”
“Why did you treat me the way you did?”
He moves forward so his face is mere inches from yours, smiling as he says, “Because it was fun. While it lasted, at least.”
“Is that the truth?” You’re going off script, but now that you can see him so closely, you know this isn’t your Dalton. “Or do strong women just scare you, Parker?”
Chris and Josh yell your name as Dalton – or his body, at least – pulls you into his room and slams the door.
“Go find them!” Renai tells Josh.
He nods, running toward Chris’s room to enter the Further uninterrupted. Saving Dalton is something he doesn’t mind doing; he loves his son but knows Dalton is just as tired of this as he is.
The fight against and within the Further was supposed to be over, not extending to people he loves.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Dalton, if you’re in there, I’m sorry it took me so long,” you pant, clawing against the hands on your shoulders. “But we’re here now.”
“You should know by now that Dalton doesn’t care when you show up, because he won’t come at all!”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Dalton!” Josh yells.
“Dad?” Dalton whispers, looking up with weary, glassy eyes. “How’d you find me?”
“Chris and your girl figured it out. Sorry it took us so long.”
“That’s what she said.” Dalton looks up, his eyes wild as he searches his dad’s face. “How long has it been?”
Josh swallows and takes a deep breath before answering, “At least three months.”
“What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, you know that,” Josh soothes as he pulls Dalton’s restraints off. “I don’t know how he got out, though.”
“We have to help her. Parker’s going to kill her.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s not strong enough to take all seven of us.”
Josh pulls Dalton to his feet, hooking his arm under Dalton’s shoulders to support him.
“Seven?” Dalton repeats.
✯✯ Yesterday ✯✯
“It seems that Parker just fell back into his old ways,” Specs answers.
“His mother’s spirit is still gone, so there’s a chance that talking sense into Parker could work,” Tucker adds.
“How do I do that?” you ask.
“Remind him of who he is – just Parker Crane, not the creature his mother created or wanted him to be.”
“And if that doesn’t work?” No one answers; you’re sure that is better than the truth. “I’ll try to talk him out of it, then. I do have one more question though: can Dalton hear me?”
“Most likely,” Tucker answers solemnly.
“Can he fight from within the Further?”
“Yeah,” Josh answers. “I’ll fill him in as soon as I find him, and we’ll go for Parker’s spirit.”
“How likely is it that this will work?” Chris inquires.
“50/50,” Tucker answers. After a stern look from Specs, he corrects, “60/40.”
✯✯ Today ✯✯
“Dalton, we have to find Parker’s spirit and remind him that the bride in black doesn’t have to kill anymore, that he’s free,” Josh says.
“Okay. He usually stays over there.” Dalton points to a small area filled with toys from Dalton’s memories. “But he gets grumpy.”
“Sounds familiar.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“You don’t have to do this, Parker. Everything that your mother said and did was wrong. You are your own person, and you can choose to stop!” you cry.
“She’s in my head!” he grunts, smacking his knuckles across your cheekbone.
“Then stop listening.”
Tears build in your eyes as he yells again.
“Dalton, tell him that parents give us life, but they don’t define it,” you say quietly. “Take your life back, Parker, and don’t prove her right.”
Parker takes a step back at your words, his eyes dropping.
✯✯✯✯✯
“I can choose,” Parker repeats quietly. “How do I stop?”
“Surrender,” Josh answers. “Give Dalton here his mind back.”
Patrick nods, handing Dalton the toy in his grasp before fading.
“Get to her. Right now,” Josh says. “I’m right behind you.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Dalton blinks rapidly above you, his hands resting on either side of your head as he hovers over you.
“Dalton?” you whisper.
“Hey,” he replies, his eyes clearing as he smiles.
Dalton begins to stand up, but you wrap your arms over his shoulders, joining your hands behind his neck as you pull him down into a hug. He takes a deep breath as he returns the hug, sliding his arms under your waist as he leans against you.
“I’m so sorry,” he says against your neck. “I didn’t mean it. It was terrible to hear you hurting and I wish I could have stopped it.”
“Not your fault, Dalton.”
Loosening your grip on him, you let Dalton pull you up. His eyes search your face, gentle fingertips grazing over your bruising cheekbone.
“Can we go on another date?” you ask quietly. “I missed a bunch. I missed you.”
Dalton leans in, his lips brushing yours.
“We can go on a million. Thank you for saving me.”
“It wasn’t just me.”
Someone knocks on the door, and you move out of Dalton’s lap, settling under his arm as you invite everyone in.
“I should have known it was you two,” Dalton says, shaking his head as Specs and Tucker (re)introduce themselves. “Thank you, Chris.”
“What are saviors for?” she asks with a roll of her eyes. “Glad to see you back to yourself, Dalton.”
“Me too,” Renai adds, pulling you and Dalton into a quick hug.
“Is it over?” Dalton asks.
“Never truly,” Specs answers. “But we’re learning more every day.”
“Just keep a steady stride,” they say at the same time as Josh and Dalton.
“Well, you’ve missed a lot, so we’ll get out of your way, bud,” Josh says, attempting to herd everyone out of the dorm. “Call us when you’re ready to visit. We’ll redo Christmas.”
“I forgot about that!” Renai exclaims as the door closes.
Chris winks at you, and you send her a silent thank you before she exits. Dalton pulls you close, kissing the top of your head.
“Tell me everything I missed.”
“I don’t want to relive it, and I’m not sure you really want to know.”
“Well, then, let’s just have some fun to make up for it?”
You laugh at the idea of something being fun with Dalton again. “Fun sounds good,” you answer, pulling him into another kiss, the first of many to make up for.
#dalton lambert x reader#dalton lambert x fem!reader#dalton lambert fic#dalton lambert fluff#dalton lambert imagine#dalton lambert#insidious#insidious 5#insidious the red door
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