#he's also really pale so you can't hide the embarrassment well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ibijau · 9 months

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It's @veraverorum 's birthday, and like every year they get a custom fic to celebrate. This year, it's twisted fem!xisang and it comes with a bunch of warning, so I'd advise to check them on AO3 before reading (also it is somewhat long at 18K, so maybe AO3 might generally be comfier to read)

Nie Huaisang looks up from the corpse, her still innocent eyes reddened by the many tears she’s spilled over the night. She seems so small, so young, an impression made worse by those men’s robes she’s wearing that are, as always, too big for her.

“What if Jin-furen came to Qinghe?” she shyly whispers, flinching when everyone present turns to look at her. “It’s just… you’ve said she can’t stay in Lanling, and it might look bad if she goes home to Gusu, so I thought… well, and Da-ge and her used to be friends, right? And… and since Jin-furen had nothing to do with this…”

The attention becomes too much for that little mouse of a woman, and with an embarrassed squeak she hides behind a fan, half apologising for daring to speak at all.

“If the child is a boy, it’ll have a claim to Lanling Jin,” Lan Qiren muses. “The only direct claim left that sect recognises, in fact.”

Jiang Cheng nods, one arm protectively wrapped around his nephew’s shoulders. Jin Ling, all clad in bright purple, huddles closer to his uncle, his gaze fixed on the body on the floor.

His other uncle, who had firmly usurped his birthright.

His other uncle, who the boy had loved in spite of politics.

His other uncle, who had threatened to kill him in a desperate bid to escape the consequences of his crime.

It would hardly have been Jin Guangyao’s first time killing a child.

“Nie-zongzhu, do you really understand what you’re offering?” Lan Qiren asks, in the gently condescending tone people can't help using when talking to Nie Huaisang. “My niece’s husband killed your brother.”

“I know, I know,” Nie Huaisang pitifully whispers. “But that was him, not her. And she killed him now, didn't she? And we’ve been friends for so long, and… I can’t just do nothing, can I?” she sobs. “I’m always useless, but at least this I can do. Lan-zonzghu, please let me protect my friend!”

A few tears spill on her pale cheeks, her expression a perfect mix of weakness and determination. Lan Qiren is fooled, which does not surprise his niece. Stern as he wants to appear, he’d always had a secret fondness for pitiful children. Besides, he arrived when everything was finished already.

He doesn’t know.

It is more surprising when Jiang Cheng notes that it might not be a bad idea. He was there. He heard Wei Wuxian make his accusation. Perhaps he’s thinking ahead, wondering if he can seize Lanling Jin for his nephew, or at least some of its territories. Jin Ling has long been declared a bastard, barely allowed to keep the name Jin at all, but it’s no weaker a claim than Jin Guangyao himself had, especially if Wei Wuxian confirms the rumours were wrong. With the right support…

And Lan Xichen knows too well the importance of support in those things. Without her, Jin Guangyao would likely never have become sect leader.

Lan Qiren, after some hesitation, takes his niece by the arm and leads her aside. He tried to take her hand first, until he noticed the blood. It stains her dress, too. Her round stomach caught so much of it. Lan Qiren, kindly, does not speak of it. They need to decide together what is to be done, he tells the others, but that is a lie, whether he knows it or not.

Lan Xichen knows her uncle has already decided, if that can even be called a decision. There is no choice. Gusu Lan could already so easily be accused of covering up for Jin Guangyao’s crimes, after their long closeness with the Jin sect. So if they welcome his murdering widow, his son perhaps… and as for staying in Lanling, it can’t be considered, not unless Lan Xichen wants to be poisoned alongside her daughter and her unborn child before the week is over.

There is only one option.

If he were there, Lan Wangji might have objected to this plan. Wei Wuxian would have anyway, and Lan Wangji would have followed his lead. Wei Wuxian would have said something, although whether that would have swayed Lan Qiren or made him more determined to send his niece to Qinghe… but it’s pointless to wonder. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian disappeared long ago, to enjoy their hard-earned happiness.

Lan Xichen is alone, and she can only blame herself for it.

Still she smiles at her uncle, trying to comfort him, trying to convince herself that he’s more worried about her safety than about politics.

“Shufu, I will go to Qinghe,” she says. "It's the best option."

Her voice hardly trembles, something she wonders at.

She doesn’t want to go to Qinghe, and that too amazes her, when it was once one of her favourite places, where the two people dearest to her lived.

Perhaps this is part of her punishment, for helping her husband, for killing him.

She can’t imagine anything worse than living in Qinghe, now that Nie Huaisang hates her.

Nie Huaisang’s skin tasted like the juice of the mangoes she’d been eating, sweeter than a sugary candy. Lan Xichen licked her friend’s chin, her cheek, and then into her mouth where the taste was sweetest.

Somewhere on the back of her mind, Lan Xichen knew this was not something she was quite allowed to do. She’d been sternly warned against kissing boys, against giving in to their desires. But Nie Huaisang wasn’t a boy, so it was fine, it did not break any instruction she’d been given.

Besides, Nie Huaisang was the one who had started this.

They'd been having a snack together, enjoying a warm afternoon of late spring in Lan Xichen's room. Nie Huaisang, who was a bit of a messy eater apparently, had licked her own fingers in a manner that made something boil in Lan Xichen’s stomach. She must have noticed Lan Xichen's expression and taken it for disapproval, because she had then grabbed Lan Xichen’s hand to clean her fingers in the same manner.

It had just been a joke, a way to tease Lan Xichen.

The first time, it had been just that. Then Nie Huaisang had eaten a few more pieces of mango, sucking languorously on them while looking Lan Xichen in the eyes. Her hands had gotten messy again, worse than before, and…

Lan Xichen was more serious than most girls her age, but she’d wanted to prove she could be teasing too. She’d been the one to suck on Nie Huaisang’s fingers this time, eliciting the most amazing sounds from her friend. It had brought Lan Xichen’s attention to Nie Huaisang’s mouth, so pink and shiny from juice, messier than her hands, and…

It was just teasing, nothing more, Lan Xichen told herself as she straddled Nie Huaisang and kissed her deeper, chasing the flavour hidden under the mangoes’ juice, the taste of Nie Huaisang herself. Any moment Nie Huaisang would push her away with a laugh, and complain that Lan Xichen was messing up her pretty dress.

Any moment…

But instead Nie Huaisang’s arms wrapped around her neck to pull her closer. Lan Xichen felt her friend’s chest pressed against her, the soft warmth of her breasts, their movement every time Nie Huaisang gasped or whined into the kiss. They were so close, closer than Lan Xichen had ever been to anyone, and yet not close enough. Not until Nie Huaisang stretched her legs and rearranged them so one of her thighs was rubbing between Lan Xichen’s.

It was Lan Xichen’s turn to whine into the kiss, the sensation so intense that it gave her pause. She pulled back as much as Nie Huaisang’s hands on her neck allowed, and watched the younger girl.

Nie Huaisang, her face red, her lips redder, looked back at her with a smile that made Lan Xichen’s blood boil no less than the leg between hers did. It was an innocent smile, without a trace of guilt. Surely if what they were doing were wrong, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have looked so happy? And no one had ever warned Lan Xichen against this, so it couldn’t be forbidden.

Lan Xichen kissed Nie Huaisang again, rubbing against her, chasing pleasure, letting Nie Huaisang chase her own when Lan Xichen pressed a knee between her thighs, certain that nothing which felt so good could be bad.

When it was all over, when Lan Xichen, breathless, lay draped over her friend on the floor of her room, trying to grasp what had happened, only knowing she’d soon want it again, Nie Huaisang laughed.

“Jiejie, we are in such a state!” she exclaimed. “My dress is all wrinkled, and yours is even worse!”

Lan Xichen nodded, floating too much for words. Blindly she reached for Nie Huaisang’s hand, and when she found it she held it tight, never wanting to let go.

Her dress was a mess, stained with mango everywhere Nie Huaisang had groped her, damp from her pleasure, from Nie Huaisang’s. She’d have to try and wash it herself, or the servants might report to her uncle that she’d been up to mischief. He'd scold her, and maybe send Nie Huaisang back home.

Her uncle could never know.

Lan Xichen never wanted to be apart from Nie Huaisang again.

“How did you know how to do that?” Lan Xichen asked when her voice returned.

In the midst of everything warm and pleasant, she couldn’t contain a spark of ice at the thought that someone might have shown Nie Huaisang how to play like that. But Nie Huaisang merely shrugged and laughed.

“I don’t know, I just thought it would be fun. It was, right?”

Lan Xichen hummed, and sat up to press a brief kiss to Nie Huaisang’s lips, squeezing her hand gently.

“Do you want to play like that again someday, A-Sang?”

Nie Huaisang couldn’t nod fast enough.

“If I have to be stuck in the Cloud Recesses, we might as well have fun,” Nie Huaisang said. “Especially now that your uncle has recognised me and kicked me out of his lectures on the boys’ side.”

“He’d have tolerated it better if you hadn’t only gone there to joke around with the students,” Lan Xichen gently scolded while tucking a strand of hair behind Nie Huaisang’s ear.

Nie Huaisang shrugged, perhaps because she couldn’t see what the fuss was about. There were not many girls in the Nie sect, so she’d more often played with boys, though she wasn't boyish in the least. Now that her brother had sent her to Gusu to keep her safe in case the Wens tried something, Nie Huaisang struggled a bit to adapt to life among women, since she was used to running wild and doing as she liked. Lan Xichen was her only female friend.

Before, Lan Xichen had felt sorry for her. Now, she was glad.

She didn’t want Nie Huaisang to do what they'd just done with other girls.

“Anyway, this is way more fun than the lectures,” Nie Huaisang said with a grin. “I really want to do it again. But next time, let’s undress, so we don’t dirty our clothes.”

Lan Xichen fell breathless. Her eyes went to Nie Huaisang’s breasts, who had felt so soft before through the fabric of their dresses. She thought of touching them, of licking them maybe, the way she’d done with Nie Huaisang’s fingers and tongue. Just that idea made her stomach heat up with the same flames as before.

“Actually, we should already undress,” Lan Xichen said. “To… to put on something clean. I’ll lend you something.”

Nie Huaisang smiled, looking as pleased as she’d been when Lan Xichen had offered her some mangoes, an eternity before. Then, without waiting, Nie Huaisang started fiddling with the ties of her dress, as if she couldn’t wait to be nude. The ties were a little too tight though, Nie Huaisang a little tired from their game, so Lan Xichen had to help her.

When she touched them, Nie Huaisang’s breasts were even softer and warmer than she’d imagined.

And when Lan Xichen took one in her mouth, Nie Huaisang’s gasps were more beautiful than any piece of music she’d ever heard.

The small house that Lan Xichen is given in the Unclean Realm is simply decorated, little more than a peasant’s cottage really, hidden from the rest of the sect by some high bamboo. A few flowers and bushes constitute its garden.

Perhaps Nie Huaisang means to punish her by refusing her the luxury to which she has become accustomed during her ten years in Carp Tower. Unless she remembers how Lan Xichen used to complain against that excessive luxury forced upon her, and how she longed for the simplicity of the Cloud Recesses.

Jin Yan finds the change harder to process than her mother does, but of course Jin Yan has never known anything except Carp Tower. She’s been crying a lot since Jiang Cheng gave her back to her mother, having rescued her from Lanling. She cries about her toys, about her dresses, about the pretty things she misses.

She cries about her father too. Every night on their way to Qinghe, she's asked when he will come home. She’s been told he’s dead, but she’s not quite six, death is hard to understand. Lan Xichen indulges her at first, until one night Nie Huaisang comes into their room at an inn just when Jin Yan is begging for her father.

That night, Lan Xichen scolds her daughter and forbids her from ever speaking about her father.

“He has done great evil,” she sternly explains to the sobbing little girl. “He has hurt many people, and he was punished for it. He was a very bad man, and you must not miss him, nor speak about him. Do you understand?”

Jin Yan nods, sweet and obedient even when she doesn’t understand things.

Jin Yan still cries. Sometimes she will say why, whining about dresses and trinkets. Others she won’t, and Lan Xichen knows her daughter misses her father, because all the evil he caused cannot matter to a child who adored him. If she could, Lan Xichen would explain a thousand times, comfort her daughter a thousand times, let the child babble about the man who always treated her well, no matter what he did to her siblings.

Lan Xichen can’t do that.

Not in their position.

She has to protect her daughter, even if that means scolding her for something as natural as missing her father.

Nie Huaisang warns her, when they reach Qinghe and she brings them to that cottage they must now live in.

“This is a prison, not a home,” she tells Lan Xichen. “If you don’t follow my rules, if you are not grateful enough, I will make you regret that the Jins didn't poison you.”

“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Lan Xichen promises.

“Make sure of that. Or else your children…” Nie Huaisang pauses, and laughs. “Ah, but perhaps threatening them won’t do much? You’ve been so willing to let the others die, perhaps you care as little as he did?”

She laughs and laughs, as if Lan Xichen’s misery were the height of amusement to her.

Lan Xichen can’t even hate her for it.

She wishes she could hate her.

It would be easier to hate her, if she didn’t remember loving Nie Huaisang more than life itself.

Nie Huaisang was a different person then, a sweet and pretty girl who lived for pretty dresses and kisses. And yet when Lan Xichen watches that woman who hides behind fans as she sets the world on fire, she can almost glimpse again at the girl who owned her heart.

It broke Lan Xichen’s heart to return to the burned ruins of her home. Everything once familiar had become foreign, making her feel unwelcome in the place she’d been longing for during those harrowing weeks away.

She had missed her father’s funeral, which she minded less than she ought to, and her uncle’s coronation, which mattered more to her than it did to him.

She had nearly died, more than once, and although she was coming home, she knew she would soon risk her life again. Her uncle wanted her to help him in the Cloud Recesses, he’d said as much, because a girl’s place was at home. However Lan Xichen had already borrowed some male robes so she could disguise herself and join the Sunshot Campaign. She was as strong as any man in their sect, stronger than most, in fact. Why shouldn’t she fight for their freedom too?

She knew her uncle would forgive her, someday.

She hoped she would survive to be forgiven.

But before she could throw herself into harm's way, Lan Xichen needed to sleep. All those weeks on the run, she'd barely slept. Luckily the women’s side of the Cloud Recesses had been less damaged, and her room was still there, nearly intact. The shadows of night helped her pretend she couldn’t see everything that had changed there too. Exhausted and hopeless, Lan Xichen dropped her ruined dress for the last time, knowing when morning came she would put on a disguise.

But as Lan Xichen stood in the cold air, nearly naked, she realised she was not alone. There was someone in her bed, curled under her blanket, with just one shapely leg sticking out. Had it been anyone else, that would not have been enough to recognise this person. But Lan Xichen had spent so much time between Nie Huaisang's legs, she would have known her by touch alone.

Poor Nie Huaisang, sent there for her own protection once more, Lan Qiren has said, though he had not informed his niece that her friend had made herself at home in her room. Perhaps he didn't know. She must have been so bored. Nie Huaisang hated everything about the Cloud Recesses, except for the game Lan Xichen and her played behind locked doors. She must have come there to find some comfort, in this place where they had been so happy.

The night was not warm. Lan Xichen, staring at that exposed leg, was moved by pity and longing. She knelt down next to the bed and pulled gently on the blanket, trying to cover Nie Huaisang without waking her. In spite of her efforts the other girl quickly stirred awake, even sitting up and grumbling against waking so early.

Nie Huaisang’s grumbling ceased as soon as she recognised Lan Xichen.

“Jiejie, are you a ghost?” she whispered.

“I don’t think I am,” Lan Xichen replied, offering her hand for Nie Huaisang to touch so she could find out for herself.

Nie Huaisang ignored that hand and instead threw herself in Lan Xichen’s arms, pressing their lips together. She was still warm from sleep, and the heat of her skin almost burned Lan Xichen, making her realise how cold she’d been.

“I was so scared for you,” Nie Huaisang sobbed against Lan Xichen’s mouth. “I thought you were gone, I thought they’d killed you! Jiejie, I love you so much and I thought you were dead.”

Freezing at those words, Lan Xichen tried to pull away, but Nie Huaisang only clinged to her more tightly.

“No, I don’t care what you say!” Nie Huaisang insisted, glaring through heavy tears. “Other girls aren’t like that with their friends! You know it’s something else! You can’t keep saying I’m not really in love with you, not when… jiejie, if you’d died… I love you so much, if you’d died I would have died too!”

“Girls can’t love other girls,” Lan Xichen whispered, trying to convince herself more than Huaisang.

“Why not? You said one time that Wangji is in love with a boy! Isn’t it the same?”

“It’s not. Men are… boys are… they can…”

Men could be trusted to fight for their families when their home was attacked, instead of being sent running for fear they’d be captured and raped. Men could live their lives as they pleased, break any rules they wanted, as long as they were confident enough. Men could love whoever they wanted, and never be shamed for it.

Men could do everything.

Lan Xichen ached with envy.

“If you were a boy, would you love me?” Nie Huaisang asked, pressing a kiss to Lan Xichen’s jaw. “Would you take me as your cultivation companion?”

A shiver ran through Lan Xichen. Something like that… if things were that way… and yet even with all the pain it caused her to be dismissed, she did not wish to be other than she was. In the morning she would wear men’s clothes and borrow a man’s name to go to war, but only as a last resort.

“I wouldn’t want to be a man,” Lan Xichen said.

“What if I were one?” Nie Huaisang stubbornly suggested. “Would you love me then?”

That sounded wrong too, for some reason. Lan Xichen didn’t want Nie Huaisang to be anything but the sweet, plump girl she was. She wanted to love Nie Huaisang as they both were, even while being unsure it was possible at all.

“If you were a boy, we’d be married already,” Lan Xichen still retorted. “I could be yours, truly yours.”

Nie Huaisang kissed her again, gentle and devouring in turn, slowly but steadily dragging Lan Xichen in bed with her.

It was stupid, when Lan Xichen desperately needed sleep, but she needed this even more.

They stayed awake until dawn, sometimes exchanging caresses, other times trading tales of their time apart. Lan Xichen told Nie Huaisang things she’d kept hidden from her uncle, gave her a truer account of events, even when it would scare Nie Huaisang, simply because to lie would have been unbearable. She talked about Meng Yao, who had hidden her in a brothel, the safest she’d been that whole time. Nie Huaisang in turn confessed what she hadn’t told her brother about her time as a prisoner of the Wens with other juniors, boys from both sides trying to touch her just because she was an easy target, how Wei Wuxian had gotten in trouble sometimes to protect her and other girls.

Wei Wuxian was likely dead now, and Meng Yao had disappeared back to his ordinary life, but they agreed they both owed these men a debt, one they hope to repay someday.

As they watched the night sky colour with the first shades of sunrise, Nie Huaisang clung tighter to Lan Xichen, knowing light would bring new separation. Lan Xichen almost wanted to reconsider her plan and stay in the Cloud Recesses to steal what happiness was still to be found in the world.

She had to go, though.

To help her family, to uphold their ideals, certainly. But she now had more selfish motives as well.

If she could prove she was as good as any man, would she be allowed to keep Nie Huaisang at her side, the way men’s passions for other men were tolerated if their reputations were great enough?

“I’d be a good husband for you,” Nie Huaisang whispered against her neck. “I would let you do as you pleased. You’d still go on Night Hunts, and I wouldn’t force you to stop cultivating, like other husbands do sometimes. I wouldn’t care that you’re more powerful than me. You’re stronger than anyone, anyway. Well, except Da-ge, maybe.”

“I’d love to be your wife,” Lan Xichen replied, tracing patterns on Nie Huaisang’s back with one finger. “I don’t think anything could make me happier.”

She felt more than saw Nie Huaisang’s smile against her skin, and sighed.

To be married, to be together forever, with no one ever able to separate them…

She would cling to that dream, when she was fighting the Wens.

It takes Lan Xichen a few days to realise what has changed in Nie Huaisang since they’ve arrived in Qinghe. She thinks at first it is merely that the other woman no longer plays her pitiful comedy around her. Nie Huaisang still hides behind masks where others see her, but she lets herself be as vicious as she likes around her prisoner. She knows how worthless Lan Xichen’s word has become, so why bother hiding?

Why she still visits Lan Xichen at all is apparently the topic of much gossip among disciples of Qinghe Nie and servants. Some think it is pity, others suspect Nie Huaisang still desperately needs advice to rule her sect. The truth is more simple.

Nie Huaisang likes to see Lan Xichen suffer.

That is why she comes so often. It is why she will play with Jin Yan with sincere affection one moment, and the next subtly threaten to crush the girl’s eyes like ripe grapes.

Nie Huaisang has always been passionate. If she cannot love, she will hate, there is no middle ground.

Lan Xichen would sooner die than admit she’d rather cause hatred than indifference. That is her secret to bear, another one to add to the pile. This particular secret she hopes to take to the tomb. If Nie Huaisang knew, she would make herself indifferent, just out of spite.

So Lan Xichen bears with Nie Huaisang’s disdain as well as she can. She hears her daughter threatened, her choices mocked. Even her unborn child is used against her.

“If it’s a boy, I’ll drown him myself,” Nie Huaisang cheerfully remarks one morning, as they sit together in the garden around Lan Xichen’s cottage.

Jin Yan is playing far enough that she can’t hear them, or Nie Huaisang wouldn’t dare to be so openly cruel. She takes too much joy in making the little girl love her, perhaps so it will cause greater pain when she kills the child. Dozens of times, Lan Xichen has thought of warning her daughter against sect leader Nie. Dozens of times she’s decided Jin Yan is safer if she doesn’t know, if Nie Huaisang can be entertained by her innocent trust.

“I can let you have girls,” Nie Huaisang goes on, shuffling closer so she can nuzzle Lan Xichen’s neck as tenderly as she used to do. “They’ll be weak willed, like you. Easily sent to a man’s bed and bred for children like their mother, should they start to pose a problem. But a son you might raise to want revenge, and I can’t tolerate that.”

Lan Xichen’s hand goes to her stomach, already round enough that it makes everything difficult. She has a month more to go, give or take, and she does not know what sex her child will be. People always told her that mothers knew these things, but every child she’s given birth to has been a surprise.

“What a mother you are,” Nie Huaisang sneers, covering Lan Xichen’s hand with her own, the way she’d done when Lan Xichen was expecting Jin Rusong, trying to feel the movement of a son that wasn’t hers, a son she often said she wanted to claim. “You cry for them, but you’ve never protected a single one of them. If it were me…”

“But you always said you would never bear children,” Lan Xichen replies without thinking. “You used to say you didn’t have the temper for it.”

“I don’t,” Nie Huaisang agrees, pulling back and sitting a little more stiffly. “I’d argue that after letting four children of yours die with hardly a tear, you hardly have the temper for it either. But of course you’ve always been so desperate to lie to yourself, to think you could be normal. How has that worked out for you, jiejie? Is normality worth the price you paid for it?”

It isn't.

It never was.

Even when she agreed to marry Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen had known she was making a mistake.

She’s only now realising how great that mistake was, though. Because being here, as Nie Huaisang’s prisoner, exposed to Nie Huaisang’s hatred… living like this is still better than what her life with her husband had become.

Inside her cottage, within her garden, Lan Xichen is the only mistress of her life. She doesn’t need to worry about Carp Tower’s endless gossip. She doesn’t have to mind Jin Guangyao's reputation, the threats against his position. There are no parties to oversee, no sect leaders' tempers to mollify. She gets to play with her daughter, to teach her as she likes. Jin Yan is thriving, too, eager to learn, curious about everything now that she’s allowed to be.

For this, too, she paid a terrible price.

But Lan Xichen minds Jin Guangyao's blood on her hand less than she once minded the loss of everything dear to her.

“If you had any dignity, you’d find poison for yourself and your bastards,” Nie Huaisang says as she stands up. “Or you’d have used your sword to end it all. But if you had any dignity, you wouldn’t have ended up like this in the first place.”

Lan Xichen says nothing.

She does not say that Nie Huaisang had every poisonous flower torn from her garden the day she arrived there, right in front of Lan Xichen, taunting her the whole time that she would not so easily escape. She does not say that Nie Huaisang has confiscated her sword and only allows her to train with it under supervision from her disciples, that there are no sharp objects in her cottage, nor even any pottery Lan Xichen might shatter to use their shards as a knife.

Lan Xichen doesn’t understand this new game they’re playing.

She doesn’t think she’s meant to understand.

All she can think, as she watches Nie Huaisang leave the garden, is that she’s finally realised what felt so different about the other woman.

For years now, Nie Huaisang has taken to wearing men’s robes, as do the few other women in Qinghe Nie. Because she is small, because her body is plump, those robes never fit well, somehow too big and too tight at once, making little sect leader Nie a ridiculous sight for the decade she’s been ruling.

Today, though, the robes are perfectly tailored to fit her.

Jin Guangyao's visit was unpleasant to begin with.

But no, Lan Xichen couldn't think that about the man who had saved her, the man who had saved Nie Mingjue too, and ended the war for everyone. His visits could never be unpleasant.

A little ill-timed then, maybe.

It had been a lovely morning up until then. Nie Huaisang had arrived at the Cloud Recesses just the day before, intending to stay there some weeks, as had become her habit since the end of the Sunshot Campaign. Lan Xichen and her had made love all night, and were now nestled together on a sofa while Nie Huaisang read aloud a book of poetry she'd brought.

Life couldn't get better than that, Lan Xichen had thought several times that morning. They were so happy together, and lucky enough to be left to their happiness.

Marriage, the one threat to their lives, was no threat at all these days. Not when Nie Mingjue had already proclaimed he would respect his sister's choice to remain an old maid. Not when nobody wanted to marry Lan Xichen, the reputation she'd earned as a hero of the Sunshot Campaign making every man fear they'd end up chained to a new Madam Yu.

They were happy, and with this being their first chance to be together since the death of Wei Wuxian, they were determined to let no one come in the way of their joy.

But Jin Guangyao was not just anyone. When Lan Xichen was informed she had a guest, she reluctantly made herself presentable and forced Nie Huaisang to do the same.

Jin Guangyao looked to be in a pitiful state when he arrived. Makeup couldn't quite hide the black eye which his cultivation wasn't good enough to heal. But he still smiled as he greeted his two friends, and after some polite small chat, explained the reason for his presence. It was an awkward request, one he looked truly sorry to be making, one he made with the certainty it would be denied, and yet his circumstances since the death of Jin Zixuan had become so dire that he had to try even this.

When he was done explaining, Lan Xichen asked for some time to think about it. She sent him to the men's quarters, where her uncle would welcome him like a guest while she made up her mind.

As soon as they were alone again, Nie Huaisang exploded.

"I can't believe he dares to propose again! Does he have no self respect?"

Lan Xichen, who until then had been too shocked to know how to feel, couldn't hide a small grimace. At least this time Jin Guangyao hadn't tried to first ask Nie Huaisang, perhaps because she'd turned him down so rudely when he'd done that after the Sunshot Campaign. His father would probably have preferred to see him married to Nie Huaisang though, because that would have given Jin Guangshan something to use against Nie Mingjue.

If he had asked Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen might have suspected Jin Guangyao of trying to please his father. But he had asked her instead, and that meant Jin Guangyao was just desperate for help and protection, now that his half-brother's death was somewhat blamed on him.

"His position is a difficult one," Lan Xichen remarked. "He's the heir but only barely. He's Jin Guangshan's best option, but that man is so set in his ways he'd rather let his sect collapse after his death than allow A-Yao to rule. But like A-Yao said, if he had support…"

"You're not thinking of accepting, are you?"

Lan Xichen guiltily looked away, fearing the anger that was sure to show on Nie Huaisang’s face. She didn't want to accept, but she owed Jin Guangyao so much, she had the power to help, and he'd looked so desperate…

"You already have a husband," Nie Huaisang hissed. "You can't marry him, you're married to me!"

"You know it's not the same," Lan Xichen sighed. "Our marriage isn't… Even your brother wouldn't count it as binding."

Nie Mingjue had watched them take their bows, certainly, and he was supportive, allowing his sister to run to her wife as often as she pleased. But at the end of the day, Nie Mingjue was a practical man. He knew their marriage was a game of play pretend, just as Lan Xichen knew it.

The only one who refused to see things that way was Nie Huaisang.

"I married you!" She cried out, breaking into tears. "I'm your husband and you're my wife! How could I let you go to some man, let you bear his children…"

"I won't!" Lan Xichen protested, taking her hands. "You heard A-Yao, he said he wouldn't ask anything of me in private. I would stay faithful to you!"

"But having children isn't a private thing," Nie Huaisang sobbed. "If this marriage is all about saving his image, he'll need at least one son!"

"He promised," Lan Xichen insisted, though she was less sure now.

But they were friends, Jin Guangyao and her, and aside from a proposal at the end of the year and this new one right then, he'd always treated her the way he'd have treated a man. He didn't want to marry her out of love or lust, so surely he wouldn't want to sleep with her. She couldn't conceive of taking to bed someone she didn't adore (she couldn't conceive of taking anyone who wasn't Nie Huaisang) and surely a man as gentle and respectable as Jin Guangyao had to be the same.

Nie Huaisang and her argued a while longer, until Lan Xichen had to leave for a lesson to some of the younger girls. Nie Huaisang refused to kiss her before she left. She was too busy crying her heart out, her pretty round face made blotchy by the strength of her tears.

Those tears had dried by the time Lan Xichen returned, but Nie Huaisang still didn’t come to meet her wife at the door. She remained sprawled on the sofa, her face hidden in the book of poetry from which she had been so lovingly reading that morning.

There was no point in talking to Nie Huaisang when she was that angry. All Lan Xichen could do was weather the storm, and show how sorry she was.

Without a word, Lan Xichen went to fetch her guqin and set it up. That alone was already a plea for forgiveness; when she played for herself she favoured the xiao, but her husband preferred the sound of the guqin. In case the message wasn’t clear enough, Lan Xichen also picked a melody Nie Huaisang particularly loved.

That song finished without so much as a glance from Nie Huaisang, as did the next one. By the third piece, though, the poetry book finally lowered and Nie Huaisang stared at her wife with a pensive expression.

"Do you think his father would really kick him out?" Nie Huaisang asked during the moment of silence that followed the third song.

"I think that's the least cruel thing Jin zongzhu might do," Lan Xichen honestly replied, stretching her fingers before starting another melody. A simpler one this time, so she didn’t have to think about it too much as they spoke. "You know how he is. You've seen how he treats A-Yao. If he really wants to blame him for Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan going to confront Wei Wuxian alone that day… A-Yao will probably be killed, and no one inside the Jin sect will dare to protest, not even the allies he's made."

Nie Huaisang waited for the end of that song to speak again.

"He saved Da-ge," she mumbled hesitantly. "I probably owe him too for that, don't I?"

That particular debt was less clear than Lan Xichen's own. Nie Mingjue resented having been saved by a man he'd grown to despise, and seemed to consider that merely allowing Jin Guangyao to live in spite of certain things he'd done during the war had erased his debt.

"I don't want you to marry him," Nie Huaisang went on, while motioning that Lan Xichen should continue playing. "You're my wife. But… I don't want him to die either. He's so nice, when he's not trying to propose. And you'd be dead without him. Just for that, I have to like him. And if I like him… I should want to help, right?"

Lan Xichen frowned, and stared at her own fingers to avoid seeing her husband’s expression.

"Choose whatever you want," Nie Huaisang said at last. "As long as you don’t break up with me, I’ll accept anything.”

Lan Xinchen’s fingers struck the strings too roughly, producing a dissonant note that hurt her ears.

Why did Nie Huaisang have to choose that moment to be selfless? She never cared about the lives of others, never paid politics any attention, why change now, when Lan Xichen had been counting on her lover’s selfishness to give her an excuse to turn down Jin Guangyao? If Nie Huaisang had gone on crying, if she’d begged Lan Xichen to refuse, of course Lan Xichen would have done anything to please her. Jin Guangyao’s friendship wasn’t worth risking her cultivation companion.

But if Nie Huaisang gave in to reason, Lan Xichen’s only chance at selfishness vanished.

If Lan Xichen had to choose alone, of course she had to be kind, of course she had to help her friend the only way she could.

She did not want to be kind.

She wanted to stay like this forever. She wanted to help her uncle by being his voice and ears in the female half of the sect, comfortable in the home she had known all her life, the home she had fought so hard to defend. She wanted to teach juniors of her own sect during the day, and spend her night with her true husband, the woman she loved.

Lan Xichen wanted and wanted and wanted.

But she was lucky to have had that much already. Compared to her father, to her brother, she’d been happy for so long. And Jin Guangyao had been so desperate earlier, he’d only bothered her because he had no choice, because he feared for his life, because he was scared of what would happen if he was no longer around to desperately push the Jin sect toward more righteousness with what little power he had.

She owed him that.

Do not be selfish, the rules said, and she owed Jin Guangyao so much.

That night, she told him he could talk to her uncle about marrying her. Jin Guangyao looked both relieved and sincerely sorry when she gave her answer. It comforted Lan Xichen a little, she took it as proof that it would really be a marriage of convenience and nothing else, that they would live together as good friends rather than spouses.

And yet, just as Nie Huaisang had predicted, on their wedding night Jin Guangyao started arguing for at least one child. Lan Xichen gave in, feeling shamefully naive for having believed she could stay faithful to her true husband. Just one child, she made him promise, and he assured her he’d never dare to ask for more.

She almost cried when she felt Jin Guangyao inside her, though he tried to be gentle. Her reaction, combined with the fact she was no longer a virgin, caused Jin Guangyao to try to comfort her after. Things happened during a war, he said, and he promised he wouldn't pry into what happened to her.

Lan Xichen tried to feel grateful for his kindness.

She only was truly grateful when he finally left her bed.

Rainy days are the worst in the little cottage. The rest of the time, it doesn’t matter that this place is small. If Lan Xichen wants some quiet, she can go in the garden with Jin Yan and let the little girl run among the bamboo. But when the weather turns bad, and it often does in the Unclean Realm, the little house really feels like the prison it is.

It doesn’t help that Lan Xichen has been feeling unwell since yesterday. It started lightly, some vague aches in her limbs last night, and something like the threat of a headache in the back of her skull. Since this morning her entire body has been feeling heavy, enough so that she can barely move. She’s managed to do her normal chores until lunch, taught since childhood to push past any temporary weakness, but once she sat down to eat, she found she simply couldn’t get up anymore.

Jin Yan still has plenty of energy, though, and keeps asking her mother to play with her, to tell her a story, to sing her a song. Instead, Lan Xichen offers to give her a cultivation lesson.

It’s what her uncle used to do, when Lan Wangji and her were young and he wanted them to stay quiet. Lan Qiren had known how much they wanted to become great immortal heroes, so he always had their complete attention. And while his niece and nephew meditated, he was sure to have a moment of quiet to rest or take care of sect business.

Just like them, Jin Yan is an eager student. She’s desperate to do good, maybe thinking her mother will be less sad if she works hard. At least, Lan Xichen vaguely remembers having thoughts of that sort once she started realising her uncle and her mother weren’t very happy people (neither was her father, she supposes, but him she hardly ever met).

The lesson goes well at first. Jin Yan controls her breathing very well, better than Lan Xichen thought she did at that age. The little girl is getting into the flow of meditation when Nie Huaisang comes into the cottage, drenched from the heavy rain and dripping everywhere on Lan Xichen’s floor.

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t cold,” she said with a charming smile. “Oh, you’ve lit a fire, wonderful! I was worried… it gets so much colder here than it does in Lanling!”

Of course Jin Yan is delighted to have a visitor. She runs to Nie Huaisang, radiating pride.

“Nie-jiejie, mommy is teaching me cultivation!” she announces. “I’m very good at it!”

“Fancy that,” Nie Huaisang says with a pout. “My little Yan-er, already cultivating… But is that really useful?”

“Yes!” Jin Yan replies with a grin. “I will be a great cultivator! I will help people and be strong! I’ll have a sword, and I’ll kill bad people! Just like mommy!”

Nie Huaisang smirks. Lan Xichen blushes.

She’s not the one who filled her daughter’s head with stories. It’s just things Jin Yan picked up, hearing people talk about the Sunshot Campaign. Lan Qiren might be to blame as well. As stern a parent as he was for his brother’s children, he’s always gone soft around his great-niece and has delighted her many times with tales of her mother’s youth, how she went to war for her people.

Someday, Lan Xichen will have to let her daughter know what sort of a person she really is.

Not today, though. She prays to any god listening that it doesn’t have to be today. She doesn’t have the strength to face Jin Yan's reaction to the truth.

“My oh my, is your mother some sort of a hero, then?” Nie Huaisang asks, to which Jin Yan can’t nod fast enough. Nie Huaisang laughs, and smiles at Lan Xichen. “And now you’re teaching your daughter. But I must repeat my question, jiejie. Is this all really useful? I can’t imagine you did much of that in Lanling.”

Lan Xichen looks away.

She used to complain to Nie Huaisang about how much she missed the way she lived in the Cloud Recesses. The woman married to a sect leader is not allowed to live as she pleases, least of all when his reputation is perpetually one misstep away from destruction.

When she unsheathed her sword to kill Jin Guangyao that night, it was the first time in years that she’d had a chance to use it.

“Maybe you should teach your daughter more useful things,” Nie Huaisang muses. She crouches next to Jin Yan, and pokes her gently in the rib. “What does my YanYan say? Should she give up on cultivation and learn something useful, like how to bow elegantly, or how to balance a budget?”

“What’s a budget?” Jin Yan asks, even as she already shakes her head.

“Oh, it’s a very terrible thing,” Nie Huaisang assures her, poking her again. “The very worst. It’s deciding if there’s enough money for sweets, and then buying cabbage anyway, because sweets aren’t allowed for grownups. Do you want to learn that, instead of cultivation?”

“No!” Jin Yan shrieks, laughing. “Nie-jiejie, I wanna learn to be like mommy!”

“But your mother did more budgeting in her life than she did cultivation,” Nie Huaisang assures her with a falsely severe expression. “If you want to cultivate, you can’t count on mommy at all. But maybe if you went to class with my disciples… wouldn’t you like that, YanYan? And then, you’d be Nie Yan, how cute would that be!”

Of course Jin Yan just laughs and laughs, delighted by her dear Nie-jiejie’s nonsense. If Lan Xichen were not so unwell, she’d pick up her daughter in her arms and beg Nie Huaisang to leave them alone. But her body feels so heavy that just the thought of getting up makes her want to cry.

Maybe it’s not just the weather after all.

“Well, jiejie, will you let me give my name to your daughter?” Nie Huaisang asks with a cruel smile that turns into a frown when she turns her eyes to Lan Xichen. “What’s wrong with you now?”

“I’m just a little tired,” Lan Xichen replies as lightly as she can. “I’ll be better tomorrow.”

Unconvinced by that lie, Nie Huaisang gets back on her feet and comes closer to press a hand to Lan Xichen’s forehead. Her skin is freezing, when it always used to feel so warm.

“A slight fever perhaps,” Nie Huaisang notes. “And you looked off yesterday too. I’ll have someone come check on you later.”

“It’s fine,” Lan Xichen protests. “I’m fine,” she insists when Jin Yan trots to her and clings to her skirts. “Mommy is just a little tired from making a baby, it’s normal. We’ll continue the lesson tomorrow.”

“Yes, mommy is working so hard,” Nie Huaisang sneers. “Making babies is what she’s best at. It’s all she’s good at, maybe.”

Jin Yan turns to stare at Nie Huaisang, a puzzled expression on her face, as if she can feel her mother’s pain, but can’t quite understand that her funny Nie-jiejie is the one causing it. Nie Huaisang is soon back to the more charming version of herself anyway, advising Lan Xichen to rest, ruffling Jin Yan’s hair and kissing her cheeks. When she leaves, she promises again to send a doctor their way, because she would hate it if anything happened to Lan Xichen and her unborn child.

She might even mean it.

To Lan Xichen’s immense relief, she fell pregnant almost immediately after her marriage. Jin Guangyao kept his word, and stopped visiting her at night. As for Nie Huaisang, she immediately flew to Lanling to be with her wife.

It was unwise to announce that pregnancy to anyone so early. But Lan Xichen refused to keep any secrets from Nie Huaisang. A wife shouldn’t hide these things from her husband, she told herself, and Nie Huaisang was still her husband, in a way Jin Guangyao would never be.

More than that, Lan Xichen desperately needed the company.

Life in Lanling was so much worse than she had expected it to be. Madam Jin couldn’t go a day without insulting the bride of the bastard who had taken her son’s rightful place. She didn’t dare to hit Lan Xichen the way she still did sometimes with Jin Guangyao, because the Lan sect would never have borne with such an attack, but words could do worse damage than blows. And Jin Guangshan did not help the matter, with the way he sometimes looked at his daughter-in-law. Lan Xichen tried to avoid him, especially on nights when he’d had too much to drink.

But with Nie Huaisang at her side, none of that mattered anymore. With her cultivation companion helping her, Lan Xichen found renewed strength to defend Jin Guangyao when others attacked him where she could hear, until no one dared speak openly against him except for his father and his father's wife. Not only that, but Nie Huaisang’s presence initially felt like an implicit message that Nie Mingjue too supported his former deputy.

That impression was maintained for the first few months of Lan Xichen’s pregnancy, when Nie Huaisang came to see her every week, spending more time in Lanling than she did in Qinghe. But during the fifth month of Lan Xichen’s pregnancy, there was an incident caused by a guest disciple of the Jin sect, an unpleasant boy called Xue Yang. An entire sect had been slaughtered, Lan Xichen was told, and Nie Mingjue was demanding justice.

After this, Nie Huaisang was not allowed to visit Langling anymore.

She still wrote, of course. She wrote many letters that Lan Xichen had to burn after reading, lest they be discovered by the servants she doesn’t quite trust and used against her or Jin Guangyao. Nie Huaisang’s letters were full of tears, full of love, full of desire. More importantly, they carried concerning news regarding Nie Mingjue’s health, whose temper had been degrading in a manner that could only mean one thing for a leader of Qinghe Nie.

Back in the Cloud Recesses, no one would have batted an eye at Lan Xichen travelling to the Unclean Realm to play healing songs for her oldest friend. But Carp Tower was not the Cloud Recesses, and Lan Xichen was no longer the First Jade of Lan. She was merely the Young Madam Jin, a wife, a future mother, a walking womb. Jin Guangshan and his wife might not care much about the child she was carrying, the unwanted offspring of an undesirable bastard, but they were quick to take its existence as an excuse to restrict her liberty. Lan Xichen was discouraged from practising with her sword, or to improve her cultivation until the child was born. She could not be allowed to be alone anymore. Her meals were closely watched. And, naturally, she was strictly forbidden from going to Qinghe.

“Those things are not your concern anymore,” Madam Jin said when Lan Xichen begged her to intercede in her favour. “A girl your age has no place in politics. Not to mention Nie zongzhu is a dangerous man, one who has positioned himself as an enemy to your husband’s father. If you went, people would say we are selling off our daughters to appease that man.”

“I am grateful that Jin-Furen now sees me as her daughter,” Lan Xichen had replied, much to Madam Jin’s displeasure who must not have intended to grant her that title.

A pitiful victory, and one Lan Xichen would use someday.

Until then, she changed her plans. If she couldn’t play Cleansing for Nie Mingjue, someone else would have to do it. It was lucky, then, that Jin Guangyao was a gifted musician, that he had been tasked with dealing with Nie Mingjue on account of their former collaboration.

Jin Guangyao learned the melody.

Nie Mingjue’s temper improved, as did his patience.

Nie Huaisang returned to Lanling, almost as cheerful as she used to be.

Lan Xichen was happy again, or as close to it as she could hope to be these days.

It did not please Madam Jin, the way her daughter-in-law would sometimes disappear with her dear friend Nie Huaisang. Of course Lan Xichen tried to be serious and dependable, because Jin Guangyao was counting on her. But sometimes the rules and habits of Carp Tower felt too ridiculous, too pointless, so she exaggerated the aches her pregnancy caused, just to steal an afternoon in bed with Nie Huaisang when she visited.

Like this, with her true husband curled against her side, hidden in a comfortable bed, Lan Xichen thought that life wasn’t so bad. Nie Huaisang and her talked about the child, pretending it was theirs, that no one else had been involved in its conception. Lan Xichen hoped for a boy, so she wouldn’t have to go through that again. But Nie Huaisang thought a girl would be nice too, a pretty little girl that would look like her mother and be just as brave and clever. A boy would belong to the Jin sect and be closely watched by everyone, while a little girl wouldn’t matter as much and thus could go on extended holidays in Qinghe with her mother. Lanling was fine and all, but Nie Huaisang missed having her wife in her own home, and Nie Mingjue often complained that letters were not the same as seeing his friend in person.

Soon, Lan Xichen hoped.

Everything was fine now, she told herself. It had been no small sacrifice to marry Jin Guangyao, but she was glad she had done it, because it had solved so many problems.

That contentment lasted a few more months, until Lan Xichen was nearly ready to give birth. She’d been sent into confinement for the last two weeks of her pregnancy, with no visitors allowed except close family, not even Nie Huaisang. Madam Jin, who’d never been fond of that close friendship, had firmly ordered that Nie Huaisang in particular wouldn’t see Lan Xichen until after the birth.

Lan Xichen, isolated from the world, had no idea what went on behind the walls of her room. She thought sometimes that the servants looked at her funny, that Jin Guangyao was oddly nervous. He assured her that he was not, and although Lan Xichen recognised that as a lie, she assumed he was worried about the birth to come, as many fathers were. Even among cultivators, it was not without risks.

Perhaps that was why nobody shared any news with her. They had to fear a shock would harm her and her child. She wouldn’t find out anything had happened until the hundredth’s day celebration. Only then did Madam Jin and Jin Guangyao finally sit her down to explain what was sure to be on everyone’s mind during the party, just so she wouldn’t be caught by surprise when other sect leaders asked her what she thought of those events.

Even when they finally told her, details were sparse. Madam Jin stuck to the official version, because that was all she knew, all she wanted to know. Jin Guangyao, who had seen it unfold, would have known more, but he was reluctant to talk about those events.

There could have been the option of asking Nie Huaisang at the party. She would have known, too.

Lan Xichen loved Nie Huaisang too much to ever ask her any questions.

All she knew, then, was that after weeks of peace, there had been a new argument between Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue. It concerned Xue Yang, once again. But this time their argument had taken a turn for the worse when Nie Mingjue had suffered a Qi deviation in public. It shouldn’t have been possible, not with Jin Guangyao playing Cleansing for him every week, and yet it still happened. Nie Mingjue had attacked blindly all those who’d been in his path as he tried to kill Jin Guangyao, even wounding his own sister. His rampage only ended when he finally dropped dead.

Jin Guangyao, out of friendship and pity for Nie Huaisang, had stayed at her side after the incident. He would have preferred to return to the woman he’d married, who would soon bring his first child into the world, but Nie Huaisang needed his help too much. She might have been Nie Mingjue’s heir, chosen by him years before, her support within the Unclean Realm was limited, and she might have been ousted if Jin Guangyao hadn’t been there for her.

And so it was that the new sect leader Nie buried her brother on the same day Lan Xichen gave birth to her son Jin Rusong.

Having become a mother five times already, Lan Xichen recognises the first pangs of childbirth as soon as she feels them in the middle of the night. She should wake Jin Yan and send her daughter to fetch the Nie sect’s doctor. This pregnancy, unlike her previous ones, has not been proceeding easily. In fact, she’s been forced to keep to her bed for the last two weeks. The Nie doctor says it must be the shock of everything that has happened in the past year finally catching up with her. Nie Huaisang, less kindly, has accused her of taking poisons, and had the cottage searched, the servants interrogated.

Lan Xichen took no herbs to get rid of a child she never wanted in the first place. But as he feels the ebb and flow of pressure against her back, she considers staying silent and letting herself bleed to death on her bed, her fate never discovered until morning. But it would be Jin Yan finding her, and that is too cruel for a little girl whose life already won’t be happy. Lan Xichen can’t do much for her daughter, but she can live, and protect her a little longer.

Jin Yan wakes up quickly when Lan Xichen shakes her. She grumbles at first, but when her mother explains what’s going on, when she is given a mission, Jin Yan cannot hop out of bed fast enough. She’s desperate to meet this new little brother (“Nie-jiejie said to pray for a boy!”) and barely throws on a coat before she runs out of the cottage to warn whoever she can find.

For what feels like an eternity, Lan Xichen is left alone. She controls her breathing the way she’s learned to, but very soon the pain is too intense for that, worse than anything she’s ever felt.

She really might die like this.

She might die and Jin Yan will be left at Nie Huaisang’s mercy, which is no mercy at all.

She can’t let another of her children die.

Overcome with fear and pain, Lan Xichen bites down screams of anguish. Even when the doctor finally arrives, followed by Nie Huaisang who carries Jin Yan in her arms, the terror does not abate. Not when the doctor takes one look at her and advises that they send for a midwife in Qinghe, an old woman who knows better than him how to deal with a difficult birth.

“We’ll see about that,” Nie Huaisang replies, and through her agony Lan Xichen can pretend she hears concerns in the voice of the woman who once loved her. “Just do what you can for now.”

In her arms Jin Yan is crying and begging for her mother. Nie Huaisang ignores the child’s cries and carries her away.

Nie Huaisang always hated the sight of blood. Even for the joy of watching Lan Xichen die, she won’t subject herself to something that disgusts her.

It is a long and difficult birth. Lan Xichen is too weak. The child is not presenting itself right. She has lost too much blood. She hears the doctor mutter to his assistant that even if she manages to give birth, she’s likely to die soon after.

But at last the old midwife arrives, much sooner than anyone would have expected. Nie Huaisang must have sent someone flying to get her. In a moment of delirium, Lan Xichen imagines that perhaps Nie Huaisang went herself, that she still loves her enough for that.

It would be a pretty delusion to die with.

But Lan Xichen doesn’t get to die just yet. She has to survive and hear her child’s first cry, weak at first, then loud enough it seems to drown out every noise around her.

Another child she never asked for.

Another child that is taken from her immediately after the birth, though she begs with all the strength she has left to see it, to hold it at least once.

“I’ll give it to you when I’ve washed it,” the old midwife barks as she leaves the cottage, Lan Xichen’s newborn in her arms.

It’s a lie Lan Xichen has heard before. They said the same about the daughters that came after Jin Yan. Back then she had strength, but she didn’t know better, she didn't think a father could order the death of children whose sex he doesn't like, that his orders would be obeyed.

She knows now, but has no strength to protect her child.

Even breathing is too much effort after that excruciating birth, and all too soon Lan Xichen feels her mind slip to darkness, still wondering what will become of her children if she dies.

Lan Xichen did not cry when her father-in-law died, though she made sure to play the part of a grieving daughter. The last thing Jin Guangyao needed was for someone to point at his too cheerful wife and accuse him of something insane, like having murdered his father somehow.

But really, Lan Xichen, to her mild horror, is glad that Jin Guangshan is dead.

Once Jin Guangyao became sect leader, things changed for the better in Carp Tower. He finally had the power to enact all the reforms he had dreamed of, and he lost no time in doing so. New rules were set in place to help commoners who needed it but couldn’t pay Lanling Jin’s usual prices. Xue Yang, who had been freed after Nie Mingjue’s death, was sent back to a cell and then, at Lan Xichen’s insistence, executed for his crime. She found no pleasure in his death, but she had hoped Nie Huaisang would, when Xue Yang’s crimes had been the reason her brother’s health degraded so quickly.

Poor Nie Huaisang didn't react quite the way Lan Xichen expected when her wife shared the news. She just blankly stared at Lan Xichen, miserable and pitiful in her ill-fitting men’s clothes.

"Just think," Lan Xichen insisted. "Da-ge can rest in peace now."

Her mouth twisting into a monstrous grimace, Nie Huaisang started sobbing so heavily that she hardly seemed able to breathe.

She’d always cried easily, but never quite like that. Worse still, she wouldn't let her wife hold her or comfort her in any way, just crying harder every time Lan Xichen tried something.

After that day, Nie Huaisang's mood turned more sour than it had ever been, causing her friends to worry that she might try to kill herself out of grief and despair.

Of course Lan Xichen came to Qinghe as often as she could, once Jin Rusong was old enough to be left with a wetnurse for longer periods. She was Madam Jin now, her mother-in-law having all but left public life after her husband’s death, knowing she was not loved enough to stand against the new sect leader. Lan Xichen was Madam Jin, and she could do as she pleased… within reason.

What pleased her was to go the Unclean Realm to see her true husband.

She went every week when she could (she rarely could). And even when she was stuck in Lanling for one reason or another, trapped by the duties of a sect leader’s wife, she would ask Nie Huaisang to come visit her.

Those invitations were seldom accepted these days.

It just wasn’t possible, when Nie Huaisang struggled so much with her new position.

Both Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao tried to be there for her. They advised her on how to lead her sect. They guided her on dealing with other sect leaders, who were so unkind to her. They comforted her every time another disciple left the sect, tired of her weakness.

Two years after Nie Huaisang rose to power, no one would have called the Nie sect a great one anymore.

Four years after Nie Mingjue’s death, and his sect might as well have died with him.

It broke Lan Xichen’s heart to see her friend’s legacy so ruined. It hurt also to see Nie Huaisang so pathetic. Sometimes Lan Xichen could hardly believe the little fool she would hear tales of was truly the same person as the passionate and clever girl she had secretly married, all those years ago. She would have taken it for mere gossip against one of the world’s few female sect leaders. Yet whenever Jin Guangyao went alone to help Nie Huaisang, the stories he brought back made it clear she really was as stupid and clumsy as others said. She only made an effort if Lan Xichen was there as well, and even then it was shocking to see how her mind and heart had been broken by loss.

Lan Xichen’s son would have made a better sect leader than Nie Huaisang, and he was four.

But the comparison was unkind, because Jin Rusong was an exceptionally bright little boy. He did not speak much, didn’t play well with other children except for his cousin Jin Ling, but he could read simple characters already, and kept asking to start learning sword fighting. Every day Jin Rusong reminded his mother a little more of her brother, who had been an equally serious little boy. Lan Wangji must have noticed the resemblance as well and he doted on the little boy. Sometimes the two of them would sit in silence together, never saying a word, and yet apparently having a great time.

Whatever other regrets she had about her life, Lan Xichen was glad she had her son.

Jin Ruson was such a sweet child that even Nie Huaisang, who never found joy in anything these days, loved him as much as if he were hers. Nie Huaisang called him her son, on those rare moments when Lan Xichen and her still stole time to be alone. She certainly spoiled Jin Rusong the way Nie Mingjue had once spoiled her. There were no trinkets too pricey, no clothes too expensive, for the child of her wife.

Sometimes, Lan Xichen felt compelled to protest against those gifts. Nie Huaisang’s sect wasn’t doing well enough to afford such extravagance. It brought too much attention to their close relationship. It was just too much, and Lan Xichen’s education was horrified that anyone could spend so much on anything so frivolous.

Lan Xichen certainly protested when Nie Huaisang came to a discussion conference held in Lanling and brought a colourful bird in a pretty cage. It was an important conference, one that hoped to finally determine whether all the sects would come together to build a series of watchtowers to make it easier for isolated areas to be helped. This was not the time and place to force Jin Rusong’s parents to think on how to accommodate a pet they’d never asked for.

“But jiejie!” Nie Huaisang whined, her lips already trembling as if she might cry. “I just wanted to be nice…”

“Mama, please,” Jin Rusong had begged as well, pulling on his mother’s robe, pointing at the pretty bird with the other. “Please?”

Lan Xichen was already weak to either of them on a good day. When the two people she loved the most attacked together, she was powerless. She’d asked a servant to watch over Jin Rusong while Nie Huaisang and her went to find a place to put that bird until it could be dealt with, preferably somewhere quiet where they could steal a few kisses.

Lan Xichen would never see her son alive again.

He would be found, a while later, his little throat slit. The servant girl who’d been watching him laid on the floor, stabbed multiple times through the chest.

Lan Xichen remembered screaming and gathering her son’s corpse in her arms, begging him to wake up.

Her child, her son, her precious Jin Rusong. Her little boy who was so much like his uncle, who smiled so rarely but was always happy when she played with him.

Her child.

While the guests of the conference gathered around her to witness this tragedy, Lan Xichen distantly felt Jin Guangyao’s hand on her shoulder.

“We will find who did this,” he hissed through tears of his own. “Whoever killed my son will learn that my mercy has limits.”

It was a promise he immediately set out to make true. Before Jin Rusong was even buried, Jin Guangyao was following some leads regarding possible murderers. He never rested, hardly ever saw Lan Xichen, hardly spoke to her either, desperate to avenge his only son. He owed it to Jin Rusong, he said. He owed it to Lan Xichen, too, because no mother should have lost her child that way.

Abandoned to her grief by Jin Guangyao, at least Lan Xichen had Nie Huaisang to comfort her. Her true husband had stayed in Carp Tower even after all other guests had left. She couldn’t bear to leave Lan Xichen to deal with this alone, she’d told her wife. Not when she knew too well what loss of such a magnitude did to a person.

Without Nie Huaisang at her side, Lan Xichen might have gone insane, or she might have let herself die. But her husband made sure she ate and drank, that she slept when she needed to sleep, that she washed sometimes, that she was never alone with her grief.

Nie Huaisang who didn’t stutter or cry so much during the days she spent comforting her wife. Suddenly she was no longer the little fool they’d all grown used to, although she hadn’t quite reverted to the gentle girl Lan Xichen had fallen in love with, either. A coldness of heart sometimes pierced through even her best attempts at taking care of her wife, like a storm raging under the surface.

If Lan Xichen had been less broken, she might have wondered about that.

But by the time she had recovered enough to notice something was wrong with Nie Huaisang, Jin Guangyao was ready to reveal what he had found about his son’s murder.

He would announce it that day, he’d told Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang over breakfast. The entire sect was to be present, so an offensive could be immediately launched against the culprits. Lan Xichen too had to be there, but it brought her little comfort. It would not bring her back her son to kill the murderer, and revenge on the scale that Jin Guangyao was planning went against her Lan education. She did not like that her presence at his side would be taken as support and approval on her part. She did not like that to be absent would have weakened Jin Guangyao’s position too much to be considered.

She was combing her hair, getting ready for this new ordeal, when Nie Huaisang joined her. She’d gone to check on the bird she’d gifted to their poor son, a bird she would now take home with her whenever she left. It was the only time she ever left Lan Xichen alone, and when she came back her eyes were always red. It seemed for the first time in her life, Nie Huaisang wanted to keep her tears to herself.

That morning, she looked to have cried a lot as she leaned against the wall near Lan Xichen’s mirror, but under the wetness still clinging to her eyelashes, there was an air of determination.

“It was Jin Guangyao who killed him,” Nie Huaisang said. “Your husband just wants to blame Wang-zongzhu to get rid of him.”

Lan Xichen’s hands froze in her hair and she turned to stare in shock.

“Is that what people are saying?” she asked. “Are the servants gossiping? Is that… are they really accusing him of…”

She broke into tears once more, sick with horror. Even after all this time, even after everything Jin Guangyao had done to bring peace and safety to the world… would gossip never end?

“Think about it,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “What did Wang-zonghu have to gain from Rusong’s death? Nothing. What does Jin Guangyao have to gain? Everything. Now everybody who opposes him will be siding with a murderer. He’ll get his towers. He’ll get anything he wants. And all he had to do…”

“Stop!” Lan Xichen cried when she realised her husband wasn’t merely warning her of rumours. “A-Sang, don’t tell me you think he’d do something like that? A-Yao isn’t… he’s not… Do you have any idea how much he cried? Do you know how much it broke him? He’s been blaming himself so much…”

“Rightfully so, since he organised it,” Nie Huaisang coldly remarked. “I know he did it. I cannot prove it, but I know it.”

“You cannot prove it because he would never do that.”

Nie Huaisang pinched her lips and glared at Lan Xichen, her disgust apparent.

“So you trust him more than me?”

Lan Xichen hesitated, but eventually nodded.

“Yes. About this, I trust him. That was his son, Huaisang. His son, his only child! What sort of a monster would…”

“The sort who knows he owns a womb that can give him more,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “He convinced you once. He’ll convince you again. Maybe it’ll be easier now. Maybe he can breed you like a mare, one new child every year. You’ll need more than one, from now on. After all, they could die, right?”

Lan Xichen’s hand clenched on her comb, letting its teeth dig into her palm.

“Stop that!”

“I should not have let you marry him,” Nie Huaisang mused. “If I had known he’d turn you against me, I’d have fought harder to keep you. I trusted you too much. I won’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m not against you,” Lan Xichen objected. “You’re against us! I don’t know how you can say such things against A-Yao, after all he’s done for you… you wouldn’t be in your position, without his help!”

Nie Huaisang flinched, and twin tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I know that,” she hissed. “Better than you do. And if this is your choice… fine. Enjoy your life as his prized bitch, Xichen. But don’t get too attached to the children you give him. Who knows how long the next one will live, right?”

The comb in Lan Xichen’s hand flew toward Nie Huaisang’s face before Lan Xichen knew what she was doing. She must have put all her strength into it, because Nie Huaisang yelped in pain. She brought one hand to her cheek and found it bleeding.

“A-Sang, I didn’t mean…” Lan Xichen started to say, only to stop when her husband glared at her.

She’d never seen Nie Huaisang so angry before.

She hadn’t even known that Nie Huaisang was capable of such wrath. Not her Huaisang, her sweet little husband, who laughed easily and cried easily and never let anything bother her for long.

Without another word, Nie Huaisang left the room. Immediately, Lan Xichen knew the woman she had called her husband would never come back to her.

She was not sure she would have wanted her too.

Not after Nie Huaisang had said such awful things. Not after she’d wounded Nie Huaisang.

Lan Xichen just finished getting ready, and went to join Jin Guangyao so he could demand the extermination of the sect that had killed their son. She listened as he rallied the Jin sect against those murderers, and decided she would never tell him the horrible things Nie Huaisang had accused him of. Poor Jin Guangyao would be too hurt, if he knew what their dear friend thought of him.

As for the Wang sect, it never stood a chance. Every man in it was slaughtered. Every woman and children, too, as an example. It was no less than what they’d all done to the Wen sect after the war, and it would send a message that crime would not be tolerated. Lan Xichen knew her brother and uncle thought less of her for having allowed this, when it went against the principles of the Lan sect. She thought less of herself as well, but she convinced herself she had to support Jin Guangyao, that it was the only way the world would ever know peace.

A month after their son’s death, Jin Guangyao started hinting that they couldn’t stay without an heir, not when his position remained more fragile than he’d believed. He hated to ask this of her, he knew how the loss had affected her, he wasn’t ready to be a father again, not so soon after tragedy, but it simply couldn’t be delayed too long.

Bred like a mare, a new child every year, Nie Huaisang had said.

Lan Xichen did not want more children. She had not even wanted Jin Rusong, no matter how much she had grown to love him.

When she agreed to Jin Guangyao’s request, after a few weeks of nagging, it was less to please him, and more out of spite against Nie Huaisang.

A girl.

It’s a girl.

Lan Xichen almost wishes it had been a boy, because the world has no kindness in store for children of Jin Guangyao, because an early death might have been kinder. She cries when the newborn is finally given to her. Another child she never wanted. Another child she’ll have to teach herself to love.

But Jin Yan smiles when she’s introduced to her new sister, as happy as if the baby is a present just for her, and Lan Xichen remembers that she’s done this before, that she can do it again.

“Will this one stay?” Jin Yan suddenly asks when the new baby’s little hand clenches on one of her fingers.

Lan Xichen says nothing. What can she say to her daughter, who saw her pregnant three times, who only got to meet one of her siblings, and then only for such a short time? Two little sisters who were dead at birth, or so Lan Xichen was told at the time, and a boy who died less than a week after his hundredth day celebration.

In Jin Yan’s experience, siblings aren’t meant to stay long.

But Nie Huaisang, sitting on the bed with them, smiles at the little girl.

“Don’t worry, Yan-er, I’ll make sure nothing happens to this one,” Nie Huaisang promises, ruffling the child’s hair with affectionate warmth. “There is a good doctor here, better than you had at home. And I know you’ll be a good sister. You’ll have to help your mother, you know. Being someone’s jiejie is a big responsibility.”

Jin Yan promises, and she gets to hold her new little sister, with some help from Nie Huaisang. And then Nie Huaisang too holds the baby, rocking it gently, the same way she once did with Jin Rusong.

The way she did to Jin Ruan, the day he died.

Lan Xichen has been wondering about that day since the moment she’s understood who Nie Huaisang really is. She is now wondering again, watching her still nameless daughter in the arms of a woman who maybe killed her second son.

There are questions Lan Xichen will never ask.

Questions she doesn’t need to ask.

She can sleep more easily if she pretends she doesn’t know the answer.

The month after the birth of the child who Lan Xichen eventually decides to call Jin Xiu is a peaceful one. The Nie doctor visits daily to make sure she’s recovering well, and the old midwife comes twice because she says she doesn’t trust cultivators of the Nie sect to know the first thing about newborns. Nie Huaisang too comes to the cottage every chance she has. Sometimes she plays with Jin Yan, who now adores her. Other times she takes both Jin Yan and Jin Xiu in the garden so Lan Xichen can sleep. On occasion she dumps both children with the wetnurse she’s hired and sits on Lan Xichen’s bed to feed her sweets and chat about inconsequential gossip or the latest poem she’s obsessed with.

Nie Huaisang is so good at playing the part of a perfect husband, even though she hasn’t called herself that in over half a decade. Sometimes Lan Xichen lets it fool her. She allows herself to pretend this is truly their life, that they’re raising children together, that Nie Huaisang loves her, that she loves Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang never lets her pretend too long.

“Why didn’t you give your daughter a different last name?” Nie Huaisang suddenly asks one day while cutting a mango in a bowl for Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen stares at the fruit, bright yellow, shiny with juice. Nie Huaisang’s fingers are sticky with it already, just as they had been on a happier afternoon, half a lifetime ago.

“Yan-er wouldn’t understand if her sister had a different name,” Lan Xichen replies.

“You could always change her name too,” Nie Huaisang points out, smiling as her knife slices through a piece of mango. “Or are you so attached to the legacy of your husband?”

“I married him. That never made him my husband.”

Nie Huaisang raises one eyebrow. Once, she used to smile when Lan Xichen said this. It was a promise whispered between kisses, a reminder that Jin Guangyao was her friend and nothing else, that her heart only belonged to the woman she truly counted as her husband.

Once, they used to be happy.

Lan Xichen doesn’t even know why she said this.

“Open your mouth,” Nie Huaisang orders, pressing a piece of mango against Lan Xichen’s lips, who immediately obeys.

The fruit is sweet and melts against her tongue, leaving Lan Xichen wanting more.

It tastes like love used to taste.

“Another?” Nie Huaisang asks softly.

Lan Xichen nods and opens her mouth again.

Nie Huaisang smirks, and empties her bowl on the floor. Yellow pieces of fruit fall with a wet noise. When Nie Huaisang stands from the bed, she makes sure to step on them.

“You’ve ruined the taste of mangoes for me,” Nie Huaisang says. “I don’t see why you should still get to enjoy them. And as for those Jin daughters of yours…”

Lan Xichen takes a sharp breath, fearing the worst.

“From now on, they’ll be named Nie,” Nie Huaisang announces. “I find that I like them well enough, which is more than I can say about you. I’m letting you keep them for now, but once they’re old enough they’ll join my other disciples and only visit on special occasions. I understand it is something of a tradition for murderous wives of your family?”

“Huaisang…”

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice before invoking the past,” Nie Huaisang says with a smile. “You’ve chosen who you wanted as your husband, now live with it.”

She leaves soon after that, but the smell of the mango linger in the room, and its taste haunts Lan Xichen's mouth.

Maybe for her too that taste has been ruined.

Jin Yan’s birth had brought Lan Xichen’s little joy. A boy would have been better, everyone made sure she understood that. Jin Guangyao couldn’t completely hide his frustration over that child that was of so little use to him, and that frustration infected Lan Xichen as well, who had disliked this pregnancy more than the first. Without Nie Huaisang’s visits to distract her, without her sweet husband’s letters between those visits, she had been left entirely at the mercy of Jin doctors and Jin traditions, bored out of her mind. And now, because she’s been unlucky enough to give birth to a girl, Lan Xichen knew she’d have to go through that ordeal at least once more.

She did learn to love her daughter, in time, but only out of desperation.

The child after Jin Yan was another daughter, who died after being taken away to be washed. A weak heart, Jin Guangyao told her as they both cried over this unexpected loss. Lan Xichen hadn’t even had a chance to hold that baby, had never even seen her face. She didn’t get to mourn, not really, not when Jin Yan needed her, not when she had so many duties as a sect leader’s wife, not when as soon as she had recovered from the birth, Jin Guangyao started hinting that they should try again.

Their third daughter too had a weak heart, and also died on the day of her birth. Lan Xichen, who during the whole pregnancy had monitored the baby’s heart out of fear something like that would happen, didn’t know what to think. Checking the pulse of an unborn child was no easy task, she might have done it wrong. She had to have been wrong, or else it meant someone had killed her daughter. Lan Xichen refused to let her thoughts linger on that possibility.

She didn’t want to accuse… it was only Nie Huaisang’s poisonous words clouding her judgement. Jin Guangyao would not. He’d always dreamed of a large family, he’d told her so.

He’d told her, also, that he dreamed of having sons, legitimate sons, so his succession wouldn’t be marred by the sort of tragedies that his father had encountered when his only heir died prematurely. One girl was fine, for alliances, but what they needed was at least two sons to be safe, though Jin Guangyao was willing to settle for just one, if Lan Xichen felt he had already asked too much of her.

Some nights, during her fifth pregnancy, Lan Xichen found herself plagued by dark thoughts. She remembered Jin Guangyao’s carefully concealed irritation when she had refused to have another child until Jin Yan was a year old, how even then she’d complained how difficult it was to balance a pregnancy and a toddler. She had warned him they’d need to wait longer next time, that no matter how many wetnurses they hired, it took too much out of her. But with those undesired girls out of the way, she had no excuse not to start trying for a boy immediately.

How convenient.

Terrible thoughts indeed, which she blamed on Nie Huaisang, the woman who wasn’t even her friend anymore, and on the heightened emotions her pregnancy caused.

Jin Guangyao would never.

He mourned both little girls.

He was a good father for Jin Yan.

He was an even better father for Jin Ruan, when finally Lan Xichen gave birth to another boy. He doted on the baby, bought all manners of toys for him, and made sure he was dressed in the finest silks. Jin Guangyao had done the same with Jin Rusong, of course, and Lan Xichen had never questioned it, but now she couldn’t help noticing he wasn’t nearly as doting with little Jin Yan.

But of course, that was natural. Boys just mattered more, Lan Xichen’s whole life had been shaped by that fact.

And Jin Guangyao wanted only the best for his son.

That, apparently, included the certainty that Jin Ruan would inherit the Jin sect.

But no, even that was an unkind thought. Jin Guangyao hadn’t wanted… he’d had no choice, the elders of his sect had left him no choice. It wasn’t his fault.

It had been something of an open secret for years that Jin Ling had probably been conceived a little before his parents’ marriage. The dates didn’t quite make sense otherwise. And these things happened of course, especially for couples as deeply in love as Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan had been.

But around the birth of Jin Ruan, a new rumour spread, one much darker than an engaged couple's indiscretion. People spoke of Jiang Yanli visiting Yiling, around the time Jin Ling would have been conceived. She’d met Wei Wuxian there, while wearing a bride’s dress, and stayed several hours with him inside an inn, while his fearsome Ghost General guarded the door for them, threatening all those who dared approach.

It would have been nothing more than a rumour, but a former disciple of Yunmeng Jiang swore that he had accompanied Jiang Yanli on that day. Worse still, several current members of Yunmeng Jiang gave weight to those accusations when they tried to explain what had really happened, which backfired when it only confirmed the reality of that visit.

After Jin Ruan’s hundredth’s day celebration, Jin Guangyao advised Jiang Cheng to take his nephew to Yunmeng for a while, for his own safety.

Two days after Jin Ling had left, a group of Jin elders pressured Jin Guangyao into declaring his nephew illegitimate. Jin Guangyao was heartbroken, and assured everyone that he did not believe those rumours against his nephew, but those elders had threatened secession if he allowed a possible child of Wei Wuxian to rule over their sect. To protect Lanling Jin, to protect Jin Ling himself, Jin Guangyao had to remove him from the line of succession.

Three days later, Jin Ruan died in Nie Huaisang’s arms.

It hadn’t been Lan Xichen’s choice to spend any time with Nie Huaisang. But for years already, Jin Guangyao had been working on a reconciliation, even when neither of them would explain why they’d fallen out, nor indeed admit that they no longer got along. It saddened him, he would tell Lan Xichen, that his two dear friends had argued, that they even avoided each other’s company. More importantly, it made his friendship with Nie Huaisang suspicious to some, especially when she relied so much on him to rule her sect. Lan Xichen knew Nie Huaisang too well to think she’d ever take a man as her lover, but others couldn’t know that, and she hated that people would think Jin Guangyao capable of betraying the woman he married. To protect his reputation, Lan Xichen agreed to make an effort to be more cordial toward Nie Huaisang next she saw her.

And she saw her next right after that business with Jin Ling was dealt with.

Poor Jin Guangyao had only just been forced to exile his beloved nephew, and now he had to deal with Nie Huaisang’s most recent series of problems on top of that. He’d been eager to help, as always, which impressed Lan Xichen a little more with each passing year, when everything she had once loved about Nie Huaisang now irritated her. Once Nie Huaisang had explained the problem, Jin Guangyao had offered to write some letters on her behalf, and he’d gone to do so, leaving Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen alone.

Nearly alone.

Little Ruan was in his mother’s arms, while Jin Yan hid in her mother’s skirts, at once fascinated and worried by this stranger who dressed so oddly. Even after all these years, Nie Huaisang still hadn’t fixed her men’s robes (another source of irritation, how hard could it be to not look so silly?) and little Jin Yan was trying so hard not to say anything rude. But it wasn’t just the children with them. Jin Ruan’s wetnurse was never far. Female disciples came at one point, to complain that their favourite teacher was thinking of defecting, now that Jin Ling had left for good. A number of servants were coming and going to ask for instructions, to check how to deal with the last remains of the hundredth day celebration, or notify that they weren’t sure how to finish packing Jin Ling’s things to send to Yunmeng.

Lan Xichen wouldn’t have known how to behave, had she believed alone with the woman who thought she had married a murderer. But in public it was easier to act with grace and politeness, to chat with Nie Huaisang as if she were one of those wives of sect leaders who Lan Xichen often welcomed in her home. In response, Nie Huaisang was indecisive and whiny, just as expected.

Later on, Lan Xichen couldn’t remember why she had handed Jin Ruan to Nie Huaisang. It couldn’t be that the other woman had asked for it, not when she’d never hidden she wasn’t comfortable with children until they were old enough to walk and babble. It must have been Lan Xichen’s own idea, then. Maybe she had hoped that Nie Huaisang would stop snivelling for a moment if she was busy holding the baby. But then there had been an issue with Jin Ling’s things, yet again. Jiang Cheng had just sent a letter containing a precise list of every possession of his nephew’s that should be sent to Yunmeng.

With another guest, Lan Xichen would have set the letter aside for later. But she felt Nie Huaisang had lost the rights to her attention, and this was urgent business.

She’d made it halfway reading through the list when Nie Huaisang started panicking.

“Jiejie, there’s something wrong with the baby!” she cried.

Lan Xichen elected to ignore her.

There had been ‘something wrong with the baby’ four times already that afternoon, usually Jin Ruan blinking too little, or salivating too much.

“Jiejie, he’s not breathing!” Nie Huaisang shrieked, and this time Lan Xichen did look up from the letter, more irritated than worried.

Had it been anyone else holding her son, anyone else screaming like this, of course she would have reacted faster. But Lan Xichen had grown immune to those antics, and tended to assume Nie Huaisang’s mood changes could be safely ignored.

But the wetnurse rushed to Nie Huaisang’s side and took the child from her. It was only when that woman too cried in anguish and went pale that Lan Xichen truly understood that something terrible had happened.

By the time Jin Ruan was given back to her, his face and hands were already blue, his limbs limp in a way sleep would never have explained.

They never really figured out what had killed him.

The doctors who inspected his little body found nothing wrong with it. It appeared he had really just stopped breathing all of a sudden. Babies could be so fragile, as Lan Xichen knew too well. And yet, while he had taken the death of their daughters in stride, Jin Guangyao immediately started throwing accusations of poisoning now that it was a son who had died.

Nobody accused poor little Nie Huaisang of course. She’d cried and cried so much when she’d understood that Jin Ruan had died, blaming herself for what had happened, threatening to kill herself because surely it was her fault, surely she must have held him the wrong way.

No matter how many times everyone told her she’d done nothing wrong, she tried to use this new tragedy for attention and Lan Xichen, forced to control her grief and guilt, hated her for it.

Nie Huaisang was annoying and self-centred, as she’d always been, but that did not make her a murderer. Besides she had nothing to gain from such a death, Jin Guangyao quickly pointed out, nor did she have allies who could have pushed her to it. In fact, Jin Guangyao himself was her only ally, the only reason the Nie sect’s territories hadn’t yet been fully devoured by ambitious neighbours. Nie Huaisang was an idiot, but even she wasn’t stupid enough to turn against her only friend. She could have been manipulated into taking part into a plot perhaps, but she had been thoroughly interrogated about the events of that day and Jin Guangyao was convinced of her innocence.

Instead, accusations were aimed against Yunmeng Jiang, which had been given some reason to dislike Lanling Jin and whose sect leader was renowned for his cruelty. Meanwhile, Jiang Wanyin rightfully argued that there was a history of infant death among Jin Ruan’s siblings, proving it must be Jin Ruan’s parents who just couldn’t give birth to a healthy child. This, combined with Jin Ling’s eviction from his father’s sect, permanently soured the relationship between Lanling and Yunmeng.

After this new tragedy, Lan Xichen informed Jin Guangyao that they would not have any more children. There was only so much grief her heart could take, only so many children she could lose. Jin Guangyao was disappointed, but he respected her choice and he promised he would never ask again.

Jin Guangyao kept his word, too, and for a little while they merely focused on raising Jin Yan.

Jin Guangyao never complained whenever people whispered that it was his rotten blood that caused his children to die. He tried to spare Lan Xichen whenever people worried about the future of the Jin sect, now that its only heir was a girl, in a sect that did not allow them to lead. Jin Guangyao endured all this and more. Sometimes Lan Xichen would find him crying alone in his office, but he always put on a brave smile, always told her she did not need to worry, that he would find a solution, that he had already asked so much of her, that he couldn’t possibly demand more than she had already given.

Lan Xichen could only see her dear friend suffering for so long before pity became stronger than her broken heart. Two years after Jin Ruan’s death, she offered that they try for a child again. Their last one, she said, and maybe they would be lucky this time.

They would have to be lucky.

Odd rumours had started reaching them when Lan Xichen made that new concession. Stories of Wei Wuxian returning to life, scouring the countryside with his Ghost General once more. Someone even swore to Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao that Wei Wuxian had called onto Wen Ning specifically because Jin Ling had been in danger, and wasn’t that proof Jin Ling had to be his son? It had to be why Wei Wuxian had killed Jin Zixuan, so many years before, that person said. He must have wanted to steal his son back from the Jin sect… and then didn’t it confirm they’d been right to kick that orphan boy out, that son of a monster, who had probably cursed his little cousin Jin Ruan as revenge, using his father’s methods?

It was nothing but gossip, the whole lot of it. Lan Xichen eventually learned the truth when her uncle wrote to give a more accurate account of the situation. The Ghost General had been spotted indeed, but Mo Xuanyu, who had controlled him, had been firmly proven to not be Wei Wuxian, even Jiang Cheng himself had confirmed it. And besides, that was almost the least interesting part of the story. Lan Xichen was more curious about the cursed arm her uncle mentioned, as well as Lan Wangji’s new friendship with Mo Xuanyu. Jin Guangyao’s half brother was not someone Lan Xichen knew well, but she knew what he’d tried to do to Jin Guangyao. And yet if Lan Wangji had decided to involve him in his investigation, it had to mean Mo Xuanyu had used his years away from the Jin sect to redeem himself.

How very interesting..

But all of that interested only her. Everyone else focused only on the sensational tales of Wei Wuxian and his secret child.

Lan Xichen was almost glad when she very quickly realised she was pregnant.

With everything going on in the world, at least here was some good news for Jin Guangyao, who was so worried about his nephew’s future, and all these horrible rumours he had to deal with.

And who knew.

Maybe they’d be lucky, and finally the Jin sect would have a male heir once more.

Poor Jin Guangyao deserved that much, after he’d suffered so long.

Nie Yan is in class with other children her age, and Nie Xiu has been sent to the garden with the wet nurse. Having isolated Lan Xichen once more, Nie Huaisang closes the door of the cottage.

Lan Xichen braces herself, unsure if she’ll have to endure kindness or cruelty this time. Unsure which is worse.

“Jiejie, don’t look so scared,” Nie Huaisang purrs, stepping closer. “I’m not scary, am I?”

She’s terrifying. Or at least, Lan Xichen is terrified. Not just because of the things Nie Huaisang is capable of doing, the things she’s capable of saying.

Lan Xichen is terrified because for the first time in years, Nie Huaisang isn’t wearing men’s robes. Instead she came to the cottage wearing a flowy dress in the style she so loved as a youth, decorated with pretty embroidered flowers and birds. Her hair is done up in the fashionable style that her brother once complained was unpractical.

Nie Huaisang was pretty as a girl, but today she’s beautiful enough to make Lan Xichen’s heart ache.

This outfit is for her, she knows.

She’s not sure if it’s meant to please or torture her.

She’s not sure there’s a difference anymore, when it comes to Nie Huaisang.

“Jiejie, won’t you tell me I look nice?” Nie Huaisang whines, in exactly the same tone she used once, when fishing for compliments was one of her favourite games.

Lan Xichen feels a decade younger when she looks at Nie Huaisang.

She feels like the girl who secretly married her true love, with only her best friend as witness.

A girl who thought that she’d already experienced all the hurt the world had in store for her, because surely nothing could be worse than the war she’d just survived.

A girl who still believed in happiness.

“Jiejie, won’t you touch me?” Nie Huaisang begs so prettily. “Jiejie hasn’t touched me in so long, don’t you want me anymore?”

Lan Xichen isn’t a girl of twenty anymore.

She’s given up on happiness, on love.

She knows no matter what Nie Huaisang lets her have now, it will quickly be soured by hateful words.

She still takes Nie Huaisang in her arms, still presses her lips to those of the woman she once loved. Nie Huaisang’s mouth opens to let her deepen the kiss, the taste of her unchanged by tragedy.

It’s dizzying, how little has changed. The way Nie Huaisang’s breasts feel just as soft, her sex just as wet. Her moans still sound like a melody. Lan Xichen, after a decade of giving, allows herself to take and take everything she can have.

She’d forgotten how good it can be, to be in bed with someone who knows her body better than she knows it, someone she wants as she’s never wanted anything else.

Lan Xichen doesn’t know how she survived without this.

When it is over, they lay entwined and sweaty on a ruined bed. Lan Xichen had forgotten how good that was, too. She’d never allowed Jin Guangyao to stay with her, after their attempts for children, and he’d never asked. But Nie Huaisang is wrapped against her side, her skin burning and soft, and she’d missed this more than she’d missed making love.

“My wife is thinking too much,” Nie Huaisang yawns cutely. “What can she be thinking about, I wonder?”

Something in her voice is… off. A warning that the time for joy is over, that she’s getting ready to hurt Lan Xichen again. Lan Xichen has learned to recognise that shift over the weeks of her imprisonment in Qinghe.

And if she must hurt anyway…

“This wife wonders when her husband stopped loving her,” Lan Xichen replies, gazing at the ceiling above them.

Nie Huaisang chuckles lightning, nuzzling Lan Xichen’s shoulder.

“But jiejie, two girls can’t be in love,” she says. “That's what you always used to say, don’t you remember? You must have been right. I must never have loved you, if I can now hate you so much.”

That’s a lie. Lan Xichen can doubt many things, she’s been wrong so often, but she knows that Nie Huaisang loved her, that she loved Nie Huaisang. In a world of shadows, this is one absolute truth she can cling to.

“Are you going to kill me someday?” Lan Xichen asks.

“If I wanted you dead, I’d have left you in Lanling,” Nie Huaisang replies with a grin, stretching to kiss Lan Xichen’s throat with tenderness. “Death wouldn’t be nearly enough for what you’ve done to me, to Da-ge, to the world. No, this is the only appropriate punishment, jiejie. Everything you’ve ever wanted, and yet none of it.”

Shivering, Lan Xichen finds that she really can’t think of anything worse. Losing her daughters maybe… but she’s not much of a mother, she’s survived so much loss, she’d survive again.

“Isn’t it a punishment for you too?” Lan Xichen wonders “When you hate me this much?”

Nie Huaisang bites her in answer, hard enough to make Lan Xichen moan.

“It has its rewards,” Nie Huaisang chirps. “I like knowing that you’re so pathetic, you’re happier with me now than you ever were with him.”

Lan Xichen hums, and lets her fingers run through Nie Huaisang’s hair.

It’s not untrue that she’s happier now. She’s a prisoner certainly, but back in Lanling her actions were also constantly restrained and questioned too. Here she is allowed to cultivate as she pleases. Nobody sneers if her hair isn’t perfect, if she dresses more simply because it’s practical. Here, her daughters are allowed to play in the dirt and stain their clothes. She can read cultivation books without being accused of neglecting her other duties, she can read novels and not be taken for a bad example. And Nie Huaisang, cruel and vicious and hateful, Nie Huaisang who killed her son, Nie Huaisang who made her kill the man she married, is still the person whose company makes Lan Xichen happiest.

Lan Xichen would rather be hated by Nie Huaisang than loved by Jin Guangyao.

Maybe that is why she lowers her head to capture the lips of the woman who was once her husband. She kisses her while her hands start wandering again on that adored body, ready to steal more pleasure, for as long as Nie Huaisang’s cruel games will allow it.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #seriously check the tags on ao3 #jau writes

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priestessrosery · 2 years

Text

Forgive-Us-Lots;Sorry And Thanky Franky!

I am also Clopeh_Ihavefaith on AO3.Please check out my stories ongoing there this is my first one-shot.I also edited a few things out here.

Here is a song I think fits this thing.I love it because Angels' Last Mission is one of my favourite kdrama.And considering I don't normally watch things in that genre,this is special.

Frankenstein's p.o.v

March,31,20XX

Master is getting weaker by the time at this point,I'm willing to try anything.I heard of the Goddess Of Time,they said that she can give back someone's life or restore their health and stealth in exchange for anything you have that she deems worthy and if you don't have anything that's worth anything in her eyes they said that she's going to make the person who called her a priest or priestess in exchange instead.My parents also said that before I was born that the Goddess gave me her blessing,I don't know if that's true but I should at least try and besides,if I don't have anything she fancies I'll be glad to be a Priest if it's for Master.I'll be setting out tomorrow.

"I'll be away for a while so you guys should look out for Master."

"Boss?But you're still recovering?"

"I'm fine Tao besides the Union lost a lot of elders,their system must be in some sort of bad condition and I'll be laying low so don't worry and guard Master,do I make myself clear?"

"Yes,boss be careful and return quickly."

"I will definitely return quickly,after all I'm doing this for Master so I'm gonna wrap things up quickly."

After Frankenstein arrived at his destination

He got lost and wandered around seemingly lost until he was met with a fair woman,she was young,her beauty makes the moon hide in envy,her hair as white as snow her pale skin glistens in the light as her lips as red as an apple when she said;

"Ayyo what brings a human that's almost 1500 years old here in my glamping place?Oh and can I take a picture with you?My followers in Instagram will like you!"

"Are you really the Goddess of time?"

"Oh no- I'm the Goddess of Chronology."

"But that's the same thing?"

"Are you stupid?Of course it's the same can't you tell I'm being sarcastic?Anyways,get to the point Frankenstein."

"You know me?"

"Yeah😃,After all how can I forget about the cute toddler that used to visit me to play?"

"Cute?Toddler?"

"Yeah don't you remember?You used to visit my tree whenever you felt like it,you were honestly so cute back then oh and do you remember your first words?It was pretty unnie,although the term you used to refer to me isn't the same as that their use is the same- oh oh oh and do you remember that time you-"

"I'll get straight to the point;I need help with my Master you can take anything you want or make me your priest just help Master..... please.

"Hmmph.Just say that you're too embarrassed to hear the silly shits you did when you were young hmmmphhhh."

"Please,Master really needs your help you can tell me what I did when I was young, after you cure Master."

"Hmm?And here I thought you came to visit your pretty unnie hmph.Anyways who is this Master of yours?What is his race?And how bad is he off?Does he have any special titles?Or abilities?"

"Master's official title is the Noblesse and he is considered a Noble,He used too much life force so his condition is pretty bad and only has limited time left.His name is Cadis Etrama Di Raizel."

"Okay...Congratulations your Master's not going to die."

"What?How is that possible?Could it be that he's only tired and only needs to rest and eat well?"

"And I- yeah....No- his life force is completely depleted and is only relying on his will to live and little bits of life force in the air other than that he's already a walking corpse.Oh and right if someone isn't already dead for about 5 years prior to a person's visit won't be able to exchange priesthood for this person's life because we have a 5-year learning and training them on how to cope with different things that can happen to them like,reincarnation,being brought back to life and many more."

"In short it's because he's already dead- inside."

"So...you can't?Can't you make an exception?I'm willing to give you anything if it means that Master will get better."

"Hmmmm...You know I've been wanting to go and explore this world since I'm retired so..."

"Wait.You're retired?Then how are you going to help Master?"

"I didn't lose my power when I retired it's just that someone else took my duty and continued it,I retired so that I'll be able to dally around all I want.Just like Cassiopeia and Andreae."

"Is that so?So it's like,getting to do whatever you want without work bothering you?"

"Yeah you could say that."

"So what do I need to do for you to help Master?"

"Well,simple I want to go to this place called school it's all around the internet nowadays and apparently it is where you learn things and I want to learn stuff they don't teach in the internet.I also want a place to live in,I want to be able to call that place home I don't want a luxurious but empty house,the place you live in sounds quite comfy oh and I also need to be in your Master's vicinity-"

"Why do you need to be in Master's vicinity?"

"Huh?Simple,everyone has a soul animal an animal that represents them in the afterlife and they follow their souls so when I either return them to land of the living or have them rest eternally those soul animals will either be one of my assistants or they get sent back to the land of the living as animals.And since they follow the soul the ones I send back to eternal rest will be assistants and those that get reincarnated their animals will follow them.And because your Master's already dead inside,the moment I give him his life force and restore him to his 100% self his soul animal will get released.I can't make his animal an assistant since I'm already retired and your Master's soul animal happened to be fluffy so I'll make it my familiar."

"And what will you take?"

"Like I said earlier all you need to do is accommodate me,enroll me to a school,give me unlimited fast wifi,sweets,ramyeon and lots of tea that has 7-8 teaspoons of sugar- oh and the school has to have really fashionable uniforms,great teachers,and most of all classmates and guards that are incredibly good looking the chairman also has to be handsome but I don't think there's any so just a kind and caring chairman that cares for his students and high-class school guards.Ooohhh I also want to travel and don't wanna wait in line so if you have any jets then it's all settled and a helicopter would do fine I also need the school to be lenient towards it's students,I also want a place to live in that has a lot of happenings so I don't get bored you know because I'm a Goddess that's lived longer than anyone here and that my age can't compare to that of the current Lord,in truth if every Noble's age plus yours and the Noblesse's it won't even be close to half my age so...Oh and then a room that can go pitch black whenever I want an aircon since it's hot these days oh sheesh global Warming is a pain.Oh and not-so-noisy housemates preferably someone that's quiet but like comfortable quiet not awkward silence,*huffs*is all I ask for.I hope that's not too much."

"By standard it's too much but since you're going to help Master live then it's okay."

"Yay!,thanks."

"Oh wait..I also need a tour guide since I easily get lost in places I don't know shit about."

"Is that all?"

"Yeah,I think.....I'll just tell you when I want something."

"When will you start?"

"Hmmm Anytime I can do it now if you want."

"Yes.Let's go now we have no time to waste if Master's condition is as you say then we really need to hurry up."

"Oh yeah sure lezgooooo human!"

Them at Frankenstein's helicopter(it's open by the way);

"Wohooo!Yeheyyy!Weeeee!"

"Can't you gods fly?"

"Huh?Oh that yeah we can but using the clouds to speed up this fast will cause the humans to worry so we're not supposed to do that."

Frankenstein's p.o.v

I sighed for I knew that having....having ...what's her name again?Goddess of time?Doesn't she have another name?

"Do you have any other name than the Goddess of time?"

"Hmmmm...Yeah I do it's Jannah."

"So are you guys like,born Gods and Goddesses?"

"No,we aren't,just like monsters we are made not born."

"So what race were you in?Before becoming a Goddess I mean."

"I belonged to the Elven kingdom."

"So you're an elf?I've heard about them, they say that the Elven race existed alongside Nobles but they suddenly dissipated from the face of the world and none was heard about them anymore."

"That's true,my Father the king was greedy for power and he wanted to surpass the Lord of the Nobles at the time.He found out that Nobles would get stronger if they sucked blood from anyone so without a second thought he called all of the Elves to gather I knew of his plans so I tried to warn everyone about it but then he spread the rumor that I was just not on my mind because I strained my power trying so hard to beat the current Lord and soon after that everyone turned against me because the Nobles have been nothing but nice to us and that I was greedy for power and so they pressed a petition to exile me so here I am,Alive and well and a Goddess at that."

"So your father ended up?"

"Oh,yeah and then he died because everyone had poison in their blood."

"Poison?How?"

"Well,did you think that I'd just sit in the corner crying because I was reprimanded?Of course,The poison was from yours truly.I made a poison that's colorless and odorless and then poured it on the river that's our main source of drinking water and voila' the king is dead.And that,everyone is how you kill your greedy and trashy father."

"Tragic...So how did you become a Goddess again?"

"Well,simple to have a will to bend reality and to have the wit of a sage in order to break through the fabric of time in short become a person that's super obsessed with time to the point of wanting to manipulate it or other types of shit because your mother decided to stay with your trashy father because she's not who you thought she was and that she just used you from the start because she wanted to keep her throne thriving so that her children can rule because of some shit I forgot and you don't expect someone who's more than millennia years old to remember everything right?And then pass the test of Gods is all."

Frankenstein's p.o.v

After that I didn't say anything anymore since I know what it's like to live in a world of deceit and that I made her remember something she didn't want to again.

She felt how Frankenstein was sympathetic towards her for that's how everyone reacts when she tells them that.And so she;

"Are you worried that you just made me remember something that's so bad I want to forget it?If so then,I've already come to terms with my past being that I'm so old.And there's also this song the humans made that goes;"

I'm not gonna fight back what I've become🎶

Yeah I got bruises from where I came from🎶

But I wouldn't change if I could restart🎶

I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars🎶 I've been going way too hard on my self🎶 Guess that is the reason I've been feeling like hell🎶

"Hehehe,One of the best way to live life to the fullest is to dwell on your past and come to terms with it,accept it,embrace it because that's not who you are anymore per se that's a part of you,it's part of what makes you- you it's what makes you unique,one-of-a-kind,limited edition.If you do that,trust me it will truly set you free and make you feel like you're in control of your life."

"And that it's better to forgive than to forget because if you just forget things as easy as that,one day you'll find yourself crying for something you don't remember but- if you forgive then you'll be able learn something and be able to dwell on it from time to time."

Everyone deserves to know that everything will be fine just keep fighting and never give up (you can curse all the way)just don't give up.

"Everyone needs love,which is probably why I'm like this HAHAHAH.Nevertheless the past isn't something to live on it's something to dwell on- to learn from."

".....You're...you're....crying...you..know...?"

"Well,*sigh* it's so easy to say something rather than do it.No?"

The rest of the journey was so quiet you could hear a pin drop- and a korean ost playing in the background and to anyone wondering what this ost is it's "A Welcome Rain"from Angel's Last Mission.

Frankenstein's p.o.v

As we were flying;

Everything was quiet,solemn and sad I sighed heavily,just what did this person do to deserve all that?Hmmm?Is that an ost I'm hearing?Did I put the music on?Well,I'll just take it out since it's making the atmosphere despresive- wait I didn't even touch that player-waittttttt

Cue the disc's screeching noise soundeffect.

"Wait.I didn't put a song in that thing-Did you?"

"Oh HAHAHAHAHAH Sorry it's just to set the mood to a sad one so you really feel it....heheheh Sorry."

The rest of the ride was now filled with a Goddess that's embarrassed and a human that's stressed out because this rascal's going to live with them now- meaning he has to deal with this shit for the rest of his life because she's going to save his Master but- oh well she's gonna make Master live so it's okay.....right...?

They arrived the same day he left because they took the helicopter to get there and

After they arrived;

Frankenstein's p.o.v

She told me that the decision was for Master to make so I left the both of them.I'm honestly nervous since I feel like I'm about to be extremely stressed and irritated but...

Frankenstein sighed feeling as if the world was going to crush him- in slow-motion.

What happened after;

"Frankenstein."

"Yes,Master."

"I am tired and I wish to rest as well,be well Frankenstein.She is going to be with you for the rest of your life,so treat her well."

"Master..?"

What???'Rest?''Tired?'everything was too hazy for a moment until he came to a realization that..that his Master was tired and he didn't notice it,he wanted to rest but he wanted him to suffer more.Oh,how awful of a servant was he?Wanting his Master to live longer only to suffer for much longer?He was the worst....So he said;

"Yes,A-as you wish.....Master."

His voice was quaking his figure was close to come to a collapse,his heart rate was picking up...so much tension and pressure drew over him.

"Frankenstein,I have lived for so long,I have made you worry countless times,I simply wish to rest and to give you the rest of your life to worry about yourself and enjoy life where there isn't me to watch over and worry for.Frankenstein,I'm sorry I have grown tired of this and wished to rest but I am tired."

"Master...If that's what you wish then please do so without looking back,For I will follow you one day...."

He was choking at his own words,trembling,trying hard to bite back his tears,struggling to keep his composure.

"Frankenstein,Thank you,truly,And do not let your mourning mar your memories.Be happy and be well Frankenstein.I..lived my best life here with you thank you."

"Yes....M-master."

His figure was shaking unsure of whether he was supposed to run into his Master to hug him or let him leave quietly until....

'HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY FRANKENSTEIN!'

He heard them say,As he opened his eyes he saw his Master struggling to crack a party cracker and the Goddess helping him crack it,the whole room was filled to the brim with confetti and her rushing to him taking pictures to post on Instagram on the hashtags;

#Aprilfoolsatitsfinest #happyaprilfools #hereallyfellforit #hesgoingtokillmelaterbutwhateverlol

#lolheschasingme #Savemeplease

He honestly wanted to kill her for almost giving him a heart attack but- his Master looked so happy so he was going to let this one pass just this once because if this happens again she's dead meat.

Let's skip to a few days after she cured Raizel because what happened will prolong this one-shot.

One peaceful day in the Frankenstein household;

"Frankenstein."

"Master?"

"What happens when a radish cries?"

"I don't know Master,What?"

"It's being blunt."

"HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL Good one Raizel,*sigh* I really taught you well bahahahahahah."

Another day in the Frankenstein household;

All of them were looking up in the ceiling...

"....Master?What is that?What is your grading card doing up there?"

"To make my grades go up."

"Bahahahahahaha!!"

As she was rolling on the ground,Raizel on the other hand was laughing out loud- with class and elegance and here was Frankenstein,torn between thinking that this was good for his Master or thinking that this was bad for his already tired and wore out self who came from school fresh with stress.

Another(tiring)day for Frankenstein;

Raizel and Jannah were sitting on the couch -quietly which was suspicious so Frankenstein came to check up on them and when he arrived all he saw was a giggling Goddess and his Master sipping tea- until his Master said;

"Frankenstein."

"Yes?"

"What do you call a fish that's cut in half?"

"What is?"

"It's two-na."

"Bahahahahahah *giggles**snorts* hahahahaha."

Frankenstein sighed at this all too familiar sight,However seeing that happy look on his Master's face makes all his fatigue go away like 'woah'

Sorry,I really need to get a better sense of humour.And to those that hate my sense of humour,you should really get a life and someone else to hate cuz I don't really care.

For those that didn't get the joke,in tagalog

'Na' is the equivalent of the english word 'already' though it depends on context- sometimes.So if a fish is already cut in half there will be two parts meaning it's already two.

Also a message to the people who didn't get the joke:Thank you for making me ruin the joke..Really,thank you.😑

One more tiring day for Frankenstein;

"Hehehehe,Frankenstein!"

"What now?"

"Where does a good romance start from?"

"I think a good romance starts with a healthy friendship and respect for each other."

"Yeah.And a bad romance starts with rah rah rah ah ah ah roma roma ma gaga ooh la la."

"Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha- very funny."

"You mean very 'punny' bahahahahaah."

He was tired but whenever he sees Raizel laughing out loud- with class his fatigue was washed away by the sea.Although it came at his own expense.Yeah this much is fine because the days he had with Tao and the gang was much worse they destroyed the school his Master is going to and his own property.(They were on a vacation for a while to relax and unwind on one of his private islands,Btw)He sent them there because they're pretty rowdy- the kids included for Raizel to rest,the Union pieces of shit were also quiet so everyone is going to be shocked to know that a Goddess is now living with them mainly Takeo and M-21 but Tao?They're bestfriends from the start.The Unifuckingion?They don't need to know.

And that is all.

*Bow*

Adios for now,

Sincerely,A Priestess Of Caleism,

Author,Priestess Rosery.

#noblesse #raizel #rai #frankenstein #not pr0 just for myself #crazy #crack au #comedy #Spotify

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sickiesope · 1 year

Text

Cut short

Sickie: Jungkook

Caretaker: Namjoon

TW: emeto, sickness

Summary: Jungkook gets sick while getting his hair cut.💈

Jungkook brushes back his long thick hair. He's been growing it out for some time now and its getting harder to manage. As much as he likes it, it takes up more of his time than he likes. The guys have some time off and he finally decided to get it cut. Namjoon is joining him as he also wants his hair cut. But for some reason, Jungkook is feeling kind of off. He still feels tired despite having a full night's sleep. His stomach feels slightly weird too. He had spicy ramen for lunch and it's not sitting very well.

"You look a little pale Kook" Jin comments.

"Do I? I feel fine" JK replies casually. He's trying to play it cool.

"Still good to get your hair cut?" Namjoon asks

"Oh yeah. You'll be asking to get it like mine" JK grins at the older.

"Oh really now?" Namjoon chuckles

"Kookie you're finally getting that mop cut off?" Taehyung teases

"Yah! When I'm done it'll be over for you, even Jin hyung" Jungkook smirks

"What was that?" Jin looks up

"Oh, nothing" JK runs out the door giggling. The maknae always messing with his hyungs.

Jungkook can't help feeling uneasy during the car ride there. He isn't known to get carsick but for some reason his stomach is churning and feels weird. He tries to convince himself that he's fine and can sit through a haircut. He isn't getting it bleached or dyed so he figures it'll be easy enough to get through. He takes deep slow breaths and Namjoon takes notice "Kookie, you alright?"

"..Yeah I'm fine"

"You sure? You look kind of pale"

Oh great. Now Namjoon sees it too. "I'm fine hyung, really" JK fibs. His stomach quietly gurgles but luckily Namjoon doesn't seem to notice. He casually rests his hands on it the last five minutes there.

Jungkook sits in the chair still not feeling well. In fact it's getting worse. His stomach is actively churning and he hiccups. He feels spice burning on the back of his throat. He looks around nervously. This is the worst time to be sick he thinks to himself.

"Okay Jungkook, I need you to be still now" his barber tells him.

"Okay.." he closes his eyes and places his hand back on his stomach.

Several minutes in, Jungkook's stomach churns again and he asks to go to the bathroom quickly. Jungkook hurriedly walks there and hovers over the toilet. He spits out excess saliva and gags, bringing up his half disgested lunch. He gasps in shock and coughs up more. It hurts his throat and his eyes are watering. He regrets not admitting he felt sick earlier. He hastily washes up and returns to his chair.

"Jungkookie are you sure you're ok?" Namjoon is eyeing him now.

Jungkook nods his head. He already got started, he can't back out now. "I'm fine.. I can finish" he says.

Jungkook continues his haircut. He keeps almost burping and swallows a few times. He realizes he's losing the battle. He's about to ask for another bathroom break but instead his stomach rolls and he gags unexpectedly.

Namjoon rushes over to him and hands over the garbage bin. Jungkook hangs his head over it and spits out water. "Okay Kook, I know you're not well. No more hiding." He's using his hyung card.

Who does Jungkook think he's kidding? His face is even more flushed and his eyes show all the signs. He's clearly in no shape to be doing this right now. He finally admits defeat "I'm really sorry.. but I don't think I can continue.." he says, clearly very embarrassed. Jungkook also feels guilty. He really should have just stayed home. Now Namjoon has to make rearrangements. Luckily the staff is understanding but JK still feels bad about it.

Jungkook ends up leaving the place with his hair half done (covering it under his hoodie outside). If Jungkook wasn't sick Namjoon would've found this funny but right now he's in leader mode. He sits with JK in the back seat on the ride home, watching him. Luckily he doesn't get sick in the car. Namjoon texts the other members back home that Jungkook is sick and couldn't sit through his haircut and not to make fun of his hair.

When they're back home Namjoon quickly guides Jungkook to his bedroom. Jimin and Taehyung get a glimpse of his hair when he takes his hoodie off. They obviously want their poor maknae to feel better, but they can't help exchanging looks of surprise. They're trying hard not to laugh. Namjoon senses it and shoos them out "Ok, ok, over there guys" he points to the hallway. They go quietly but keep grinning at each other.

"I'm sorry hyung.. I shouldn't have gone" Jungkook mumbles.

"It's okay Kookie. But next time you have to tell me when you're not feeling well. You promise?" Namjoon looks directly in Jungkook's eyes.

"Yes Joon hyung, I promise" he says.

"Good" Namjoon ruffles JK's hair "I'm gonna make a call and see if we can finish your hair tomorrow. Can't have you walking around looking like that, can we?" he teases.

"Yah! I'm --" Jungkook is cut off by a gag and his head back into the trash bin.

#bts sickfic #sick!jungkook #tw emeto #sickiesope

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niilue · 2 years

Note

could you do soft sex with shinichuro, he's got like low self esteem so just affirming him and kissing his tears of pleasure

ෆ ִ ׁ sub shinichiro

cw; dom reader, gender neutral, male reciving, rimjob, praise, kinda fluff

shinichiro is the kind of guy who is too embarrassed when they have sex and is also very insecure about his appearance.

that's why every time you're with him you remind him how cute he is and how much you love him.

"shin you look so cute trying to hold your orgasm for me." you say as you spread little kisses all over his pale, thin abdomen. making his breathing become more erratic.

"he's so sensitive." you think to yourself admiring the mess is shinichiro in your arms.

"(name), i'm embarrassed for you to look at me so much, don't-don't, stop it."

" you' re the cutest boy, how can i not look at you baby."

you knew he had self-esteem issues and that's why you always liked to praise him for the things he did or mention how cute he looked every time you talked to him.

caressing his whole abdomen while you continued to spread kisses all over his skin. you listened to the little stifled moans of your boy. and you loved it so much, it was so beautiful. you lovingly kissed one of his nipples and his whole body moved in search of your touch.

you touched his hard penis and caressed its entire length. "you are a big boy, ah shinichiro." you said leaving a little kiss on his tip.

"ah, (name)" he stirred restlessly looking for friction between your hand and his cock.

"don't despair yet, i haven't prepared you well yet, pretty boy."

shinichiro was very rushed when they had sex, foreplay embarrassed him too much and also made him very tired. he came easily. it was so simple to say a couple of words to him and do anything with his body and he would come for you.

so you took both her legs, spread them open and lifted them up to get a better view of her tender entrance.

"what do you do (name), wait, i',m very.... AGH!" you had just run your tongue over his entrance and already you had him moaning and rolling his eyes. shinichiro would never tell you but you knew he loved you playing and fucking his entrance with your tongue.

shinichiro was a moaning mess with every thrust of your tongue into his tiny entrance. you licked and licked, trying to make it more dilated so you could fuck him further. it was so nice to see him all embarrassed, as you ate him out and stared at him with a satisfied smile on your face.

the black hair did his best to hide his blush with his trembling hands but it was no use. he always gave in and ended up looking at you, his eyes full of tears of pleasure. he bit his lips trying not to be so noisy but it was impossible if every time you penetrated him deeper and deeper with your tongue.

"mnhg, that feels so good." he would mention stroking your hair, excited by it all. he was so wet, you really loved seeing him so vulnerable for you. if he only knew how delicious he looked like that, all wet and writhing with pleasure.

"i think, i'm... mnhg, ready (name), make it quick."

"quickly? i don't think so."

"but-"

you shut him up with a kiss, you didn't like him to think that he was just a distractor or a simple sex toy. you loved him, he was real. he was amazing and beautiful to you in every way, and you just wanted him to feel loved and to understand how much he was worth.

"shin, i'm fucking you because i like you, because you like me too and because i can't resist you." you said with a pout. "look at you, how pretty, and all mine."

just with those simple words shinichiro blushed, (more than he was) and even his eyes watered a little. he nodded and let himself be loved by you. he's just so sensitive in so many ways, you thought.

the sound of the two bodies splashing against each other and the moaning of both bodies was all that could be heard in the small room. oh, and the black-haired guy begging for you to fuck him even more.

"more, harder (name), a-gh, mmh, it's... very... good." each word was getting harder with each harder thrust, shinichiro was choking on his moans and screams.

"you like it, like this, baby, you can be so desperate when i fuck you, you look so delicate but you love to be fucked hard."

the black-haired guy could only nod his head frantically and roll his eyes, taking every thrust like a good boy. his hair was drenched in sweat and cascading down his forehead. he looked so lovely, completely devoted to you. surely in his mind all he could think about was how much fun he was having and how much he adores being fucked like that.

"baby, why don't you ride me a little now, i know you're about to come."

you lay back down and let shinichiro sit on top of you. he went back to penetrating himself with a stifled moan.

"come on pretty."

it wasn't long before he picked up the pace and started fucking himself, bouncing over and over. moving in circles looking for better friction, rocking back and forth, doing everything to satisfy himself. you loved it so much when he did that, you enjoyed it like never before.

"mhg, fuck, ahh, i can't do it anymore (name), i can't." his tears of pleasure were quite visible, his hard cock was about to explode, you knew it well.

you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him close to you, kissing him, disgusting his lips. his saliva and the salty taste of tears mixed in his desperate kiss. you pulled away and looked at his face torn apart by so many emotions, pleasure, happiness, pain, and who knows what else.

"you know how wonderful you are to me don't you, shinichiro."

your boy a little shocked that you would say such things just nodded and gave you a shy smile. you kissed his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead. you didn't want to leave anything untouched by your lips.

"ahg, ngh, that's good, yes, yes more, more, more (name), only yours. please, i want more." you knew he was not lacking anything to come, in the end shin, always desperate for you to fuck him harder, he couldn't handle so much pleasure and his morbid side always came out.

"you are mine, only mine, my pretty boy."

#shinichiro #sub tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers sub #tokyo revengers shinichiro #shinichiro sano #sub shinichiro #shinichiro x reader #anime smut #dom!reader #dom reader #sub character #tr shinichiro

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papipopsicle · 3 years

Text

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

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"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

#fanfic #fanfiction #riverdale #archie andrews #archie x reader #archie andrews x reader #archie #Riverdale imagine #riverdale fluff #riverdale smut #riverdale imagines #archie imagine #fluff #smut

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kpop-dungeon-dark · 3 years

Text

Sinners. (Stalker!San x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi Non-Con, sadism, masochism, fear kink, hair play, head shaving, complete submission, humiliation, degradation, anal, camera play, piercing, denial, chastity, Psycho!San, twisted and dark fucked up shit. Read at your own risk. You've been warned. This isn't for everyone. It is purely fiction and doesn't reflect any individual's behavior nor does it encourage it.

It was early in the morning and she was about to go to college in an hour. But instead of running around having breakfast, getting ready and making sure she had her assignments ready, Y/n was standing in front of her mirror, eyes closed as she touched her pussy and touched an electric razor to her head, imagining what it'd feel like if it was on and an imaginary 'Master' was forcefully shearing her. Like a sheep. "Ahh... Master… please..." The girl let a whimper fall from her lips, having no idea that the curtains of her room were open and someone could watch her through the window.

"Fuck…" The man standing outside, behind the PCO booth on the sidewalk outside Y/n's apartment complex whispered to himself, feeling his jeans tighten. Taking a picture of the girl before switching it to video mode, planning to send her the photo later. It had been a while now. Maybe a bit more than a while. He was ready and sure now, unable to wait anymore.

San had to have Y/n now.

He had to claim her rightfully his. Or, he felt like he'd lose his mind now. Just watching the pretty girl wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to touch her, feel her, tell her, that he knew… He knew that she wasn't as innocent as she made herself look in front of the people that knew her. That she was actually a hormonal little dirty girl. And whilst nobody knew that nasty side of her, he did. The thought made the man feel powerful. In control. Like he had a claim over Y/n.

There was no way in hell that she wasn't made for him.

Y/n got done with masturbating and packed up before going to college, having no idea that she had a stalker. The girl spent her usual regular day at college, having no idea of the storm that was coming.

San knew Y/n were in class and that’s exactly when he wanted to send her the photo he took. A sick smirk made its way on his face and he took his phone out, sending it with the caption, 'having fun there?' He knew where she sat, a lone desk by one of the windows in this classroom, the spot he was standing in providing him a clear view of her face. Yes. The man had all the information he could gather about her memorized by heart.

Y/n was drifting off when she suddenly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, peeking at the Professor sneakily, the girl took it out and unlocked it only to choke on her breath before starting to cough, making some heads turn which caused her to put the device in her hand away to prevent it getting seized. Her blood ran cold and skin paled.

What the fuck just happened?!

San patiently waited for the female to exit her college, her being earlier than the usual time today, however. The man grinned deviously as he texted her again once she passed by him in a hurry, his taller figure getting up to follow her.

'Will you give that show again? Would you like someone to shave your hair off? That’s what gets you off right?' It shamelessly read, making her tremble.

Y/n started to rush towards her house as she didn't live too far away from her college, not having to use any vehicle because it was barely a 10 minute walk as she nervously glanced around. She was quite twisted herself. And so, a dark part of her mind thought... things, making her start to shudder as tears welled up in self hatred. She hated the soft pounds in her southern region, overpowering the thump of her heart ringing in her ears as she reached the building and rushed in.

'What's the rush for, Princess? Are you so eager to touch yourself again? Tsk. Are you horny? Knowing someone is watching you?' San was absolutely sick in the head. Chuckling at his own text, he bit his lip and hit send.

Y/n was shaking as she read the message. Yes. In her fantasies this was… thrilling, exciting, pussy throbbing and she'd like to play like this with her top but… a legit stalker? She wasn't THAT fucked. Or so the girl belived, at least. Rushing to the curtains after locking the front door, the girl drew them while trying to catch someone's glance outside but no luck.

San had mastered the art of hiding as he watched her. It wasn't like this was new or anything.

Y/n felt hopeless. She couldn't even call the cops! What would the girl show them as evidence?! She didn't want to tell or show them this! Her filthiest desire.

The 21 year old was having a mental breakdown! All her savings were in this college. She could not run away, didn't have any friends because Y/n was a foreigner and the people of this country were rather hostile to any outsiders. Couldn't go back home because she had run away from there, which was a hell in itself, when she had received her acceptance letter.

'Aww come on now!' Her phone pinged again, and then again. 'You can’t keep the fun all to yourself!'

The realisation felt like a bucket of ice cold water everytime she was reminded of it. The person had seen her masturbating and that to the fucking… razor! They knew her fantasies and at that the darkest ones! She couldn't even text them back asking him who it was! The girl was simply too embarrassed to! What if it were someone she knew in her college or around the apartment complex!

It was a dark day and it started raining. Y/n felt tears streaming down her face as her heart beat never slowed down, more terror filling her as everything outside got dark and thunder struck.

Maybe she should call the cops... No one else would help a foreigner… She just knew it. Nobody liked college students especially that lived alone because they were 'reckless' and often lied to get a good laugh out of the elders with their friends. So no one really opened their door for a student they didn't know personally.

But what would she tell the cops?! They ask for evidence!

Meanwhile, San stood on the spot he had found. Even if it was literally the end of the world, he'd still be there. Always. She was his and he had to have her all to himself. There was no other way. The man wasn't exactly sure how he'd do it but he’ll find a way.

Y/n called the cops at last when she started suspecting someone's presence outside her apartment. Or window… she wasn't sure anymore. And the loud thunder outside didn't help her situation. Dialing the police the scared girl told them she was afraid someone was stalking her and needed an officer for security right now. i Telling them about the texts and deciding to leave the nasty parts out, she sighed in somewhat relief when they informed that they will send an officer on the way. The student grabbed a water from the fridge and sat on the couch, taking huge gulps while trying to calm down.

Finally.

It only took some minutes before there was a knock on the door. A nervous Y/n looked through the peep hole to only cry out in relief when she saw the uniform through it. "Oh! Thank God, officer! Thank you so much! You're here!" She was overjoyed. "Thank you! I- I am so scared!" A weak sob left her. "Please come in!"

The officer looked around the house, nodding. "I need you to calm down, miss. Tell me everything. We are here with you." His tone was professional. His name plate read 'Park Seonghwa'.

"I- I have a stalker! I don't know how!" Y/n quickly locked the door after he stepped in. "Not many people like me because I am a foreigner! I don't know if it's someone from college troubling me o- on purpose or what... B- But they've been sending me some really p- personal stuff..." She looked up at him innocently, scared.

The dark haired man hummed and nodded. "Do you maybe know the number? Have you noticed any suspicious activity around you before? Is there someone who has a motive to do this?"

"N- No... I got the first text today... I- I am really scared... I've got no one here... W- What do I do?" She told him all of it, hoping that the culprit he caught as soon as possible so she could go back to her life where she was a nobody. No one knew her and she was just another face among many others..

"Alright. We’ll keep a close eye on you. Within this period, try not to hang out too much, yeah? It is best to come directly home after college. And call us on this number if you suspect anything." He wrote a number on a paper and handed it to the shaky girl.

"Oh... Alright officer... thank you..." She saved the number gladly. And since he was supposed to stay with her to ensure the girl's safety, they sat down and Y/n awkwardly turned the TV on. Oh she never had a guy in her apartment before.

After getting used to the feeling of safety, Y/n got up after a while, finally having calmed down as she felt hungry. Cooking some dinner for two people, she went and handed the officer one of the two plates. "You've been here since evening... Please eat." She politely smiled, softly blushing from the embarrassment. The girl was too soft, continuously thanking him like it wasn't his job.

"You're a true hero..." She giggled and sat on the other couch, totally not thinking about how handsome he was. Before a sigh left her as she was reminded of the situation. "Officer... What will happen to my stalker when you catch him...?" He knew her darkest secrets. "I am really afraid... They mentioned some... things... very private... things..." The girl finally confessed.

“Mind telling me those things, miss? It will help us with his punishment. The more detail, the better” he placed his plate down, grabbing his pen and notepad.

"O- Officer... I uh..." Y/n gulped. "I- I can't..." She felt ashamed

“Why not? We should know so we can sentence him longer in the court. This is not okay. And you’re a foreigner. So it may also come under bullying.” His tone was soft and assuring as he looked at her, concerned.

It took the student a bit of persuasion before she spoke, hanging her head low and fingers fidgeting in her lap. "I... I was being naughty with myself... A- And they took p- pictures from my window... A- And taunted me about my... p- preferences, s- sir..." She put her own plate on the table now.

The man only hummed, nodding in an understanding manner. “That’s such a disgusting thing for him to do…” Before the man continued. “You shouldn’t do those nasty things while your windows are open either, Miss… You never know who will be watching.”

Y/n was blushing hard as her cheeks felt extremely hot. "I am sorry, s- sir... I won't do it again..." She couldn’t help but reply obediently. Her sub side sometimes got the best of her.

Besides… The officer was so handsome... It wasn’t helping her situation here.

A few hours later when it was bedtime and Y/n went to sleep in her room after taking care of her assignments and on the work she missed at school today, the officer got comfy on the couch. He was going to be here until tomorrow morning. Unless something happened. The girl was so tired she fell asleep easily, feeling protected and warm despite the terrible weather outside.

It was really late at night when Y/n woke up to a phone call.. "Hello?" It was the police, informing her that the officer that had been sent to her house had a bad ‘accident’ on the way and whether she still needed an officer.

The girl’s eyebrows at first in confusion before it sunk in and her blood ran cold as the phone fell from her shaking hands. At the same time she felt someone next to her. On the fucking bed. Pure terror filled her and she slowly turned to look at the relaxed figure dressed in the uniform. A shaky cry left her as she started trembling, literally mortified.

“Tsk... The stupid cops ruined the fun.” His voice was nowhere near that gentle and warm comforting voice now. Instead a low and deep hiss filled with nothing but mock.

San's eyebrows were frowned when he saw the cop car pulling up. "Oh no... you did not, Princess." The male smirked and shook his head slowly as he noted that it was only one officer. Moving through the shadows, he pulled out his blade from the pocket of his pants, expertly swirling it around in his hand and toying with it like he usually did. "Now, let’s see why do you need the officer, babygirl" his voice was barley a whisper as he made his way over to the car.

San was always so slick with his movements, catching the non-existent sounds of his figure were barely audible to the human ear. Before the officer could even realise there was someone around, the male had banged his head against one of the entrance walls of the low rent cheap apartment building, dragging him into the darkness with him before stealing his clothes and then dumping his body in the river along his car.

It didn't even take him long. He was fast, accurate in his calculations and confident in his abilities. "Now, to my Princess' rescue" chuckling to himself as he climbed the stairs, pinning the nameplate reading 'Park Seonghwa' on his breast pocket before ringing the bell to her apartment.

"The real fun is only starting" San sang as he pinned her down on the bed, holding her wrists tight above her head. "You have no idea how many nights I've watched you touch that bitchy cunt of yours." His hard bulge rubbed against her thigh.

An astonished Y/n was trembling, warm piss suddenly starting to leak out of her in pure terror as her heart threatened to burst out of the skin of her chest. Oh no! Is that what she thought this was?! It took her brain a few moments to understand it as the realisation sunk in like a ton of bricks. "Y- You... You're... You..." She could only whisper, eyes widened to the shape of saucers as an evil grin made its way on his features.

As San felt the bed getting warm, he started laughing at the girl condescendingly. "Look at you! Pissing yourself like a baby! How pathetic and disgusting! Did you really think anyone would help you, tsk?" He loved how she was shaking, the glow of her skin caused by the little droplets of sweat, her heartbeat that he could literally feel and the terror in her eyes.

Y/n started crying, the piss not stopping as it pooled inside her thighs. "Y- You're... You're the... stalker…" She whispered, still in disbelief as to how he managed that. "H- How did... How did you..." Oh God. Oh no.

The storm outside was so loud that screaming for help would just be in vain. It was so late no one would even be up...

"Baby, just like you said… I’m the stalker… I know everything about you…" His tone was sensual as he started kissing up the soft skin of her neck, moaning from how soft and delicate it felt. "Fuck! Your skin is even softer than i- it looks…" San felt himself twitch.

The girl was trembling as she slowly put it all together, staring at the ceiling as a feeling of despair and hopelessness filled her. "Y- You were p- pretending a- all this time! You're not the officer!" Adrenaline filled her as she kneed his cock, swiftly turning on her stomach and crawling off the bed before rushing out of the room. Nobody could hear the commotion. It was too loud outside.

"FUCK! YOU BITCH!" San yelled before laughing loudly. He loved this. Finally something enjoyable in his once lone and bland life. Holding his crotch, the male after her to catch the girl before she got away, catching her easily. "Where do you think you’re going?!" A smack landed on her face as punishment for what she did.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Y- YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Oh she would be getting a lot of beating for this! "H- HOW DARE YOU STALK ME A- AND THEN ENTER MY HOUSE! ILL R- REPORT YOU!" As she reached out to my table to hit him with something, her hand so conveniently ended up grabbing the razor and swung it back, going to hit him with it on the head.

San laughed tauntingly and caught her arm before she could hit him and shook his head, sighing. "Now now, isn’t this the razor you were holding when you played with that tiny little cunt of yours?" The shiny object dangled in his hand.

"P- PLEASE!" She remembered the text he'd sent her. "PLEASE! I- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" Y/n had no idea what to say.

"Aww sweetie…" His words were soft. Almost. "Keep your begs for the time when I'll be pounding that dirty little pussy of yours." San held her hands above her head. "You like to be owned, huh? You like to serve your Master and show everyone how much of an obedient little whore you are?"

Y/n was crying harder now, afraid because she didn't know what was going to happen. "N- No! Please no! It's not true! P- Please just let me go! I- I don't want to!" Oh but she had a being kidnapped and raped fantasy. She loved the thought of someone dangerous, like San, terrifying her and fucking her, making her into his cockwhore. And he knew it. She wanted it all. The girl loved the fear and force. But all of it actually happening was something she'd never thought of. "Please! Let me go!" How could it? A whole fantasy becoming true?

"Oh please, my little slut! Let’s not fool ourselves here. I know you love the thrill of this, I know you LOVE getting used like a worthless little toy and I will give you what you want. You can try to resist me all you want but you’ll never get away from me. You're mine. I'll always catch you. You're mine and belong with me." Her eyes were on the razor as she kept thinking about the text he'd sent.

Y/n tried to reach out of his iron strong hold and snatch the razor from him. "Nu-uh…" San sang out as he held the object above him. "What if I shaved your head while I’m destroying that slutty pussy, huh? Would you like that you little whore?"

"No! NO! NO PLEASE!" Oh… But she felt wetness trickling down her leg. Oh no.

"My my!" The man chuckled darkly. "What’s this?" He swiped a finger up her bare thigh. "God, you’re such a pathetic whore, trying to fool yourself by saying no but I know you’re enjoying this. How stupid and dumb. Stupid slut!" His free hand smacked her face before grabbing her hands again.

"N- No! No! Please stop! This i- isn't what it looks like!" Before she somehow broke free again, this time biting his hand before she managed to reach the door, trying to unlock it but her hands were sweaty and cold, fingers literally frozen as she struggled to open the locks, cursing when they kept slipping against the metal.

San pushed Y/n up against the door with the most force he could come up with and pounced himself on her, letting his hard cock feel up her ass. "Don’t fight it anymore." And with that, he pulled her pj shorts down and turned her around before spreading her legs and pushed her up against the door, unclothing his cock and aligning his tip against her vagina before forcefully thrusting into her without warning before moaning loudly, throwing his head back. "God! Such a tight little nasty cunt!" San moaned and kissed along her neck, feeling like he'd go crazy from how delicate and nice her skin tasted.

The girl moaned loudly in pain, a warm stream of blood trickling down the man's monster cock. "O- Oh my God!" A sick part of her wondered if he would also shave her head and face... "I- IT BURNS!" A scream tumbled out of her lips.

"Oh… You were a virgin? Such a nasty little thing. Everyone thinks you’re an innocent little girl but in reality, you’re just a needy little bitch! Needy for cock! All the time!" He picked her up and carried the girl back to her room while still keeping his cock in her before plugging the razor in. "Come here!"

Oh yes. Oh no! Oh… She was having a battle with herself. Did she want this or did she not want this?! "PLEASE... S- SIR..." Please yes or please no...? She didn't even know what was happening anymore. This was fucking crazy. Her stalker who had done God knows what to the cop and had entered her house after watching her for who knew how long. The stalker that had a private photo of her and she didn't even know how many other materials. And now was on top of her like this...

"Please what, babydoll?" San pulled her in and kissed the soft trembling lips roughly, loving how good she tasted and felt.

Y/n cried against his lips, the man's huge cock still in her wet and tight walls. "I- I am scared! P- People will laugh!" Was that the only thing she cared about?

"So you want me to, but scared people will laugh?" San smirked while pushing his hips back and forth, moaning with each thrust. "Let them laugh, that will turn you on even more because you love getting humiliated. I know you too well, baby.”

Y/n had faced such rejection and hostility her whole life from different people she had trusted with her safety from time to time… this was driving her crazy. Her messy emotions got the best of her at the end of it. Her breaths were heavy. "Y- You're right... You know me so well..." She started speaking his language. "Y- You want me? O- Or you'll leave me too?" This was wrong; sick.

“No. I am staying by your side and you’re staying by me. I’ve wanted you for so long... you have no idea.” He groaned at how good she felt, biting back the whimpers threatening to fall out of his lips from the pleasure. “You have no idea just how many nights I have jerked off thinking it was your tiny little pussy, hugging my cock as you moaned and begged me for more, slut.”

The girl blushed, feeling like she was dreaming. This felt perfect… at least to her troubled mind. "You're crazy... You're scary... You made me piss myself out of pure…” She whispered slowly, a small smile making its way on her lips. “...P- Please own me... P- Please shave me... my head and face... make me look like a dumb slut... s- sir... Your dumb slut..." Her shaky hand turned the razor on for him, pussy suddenly clenching around him as she finally acknowledged the pleasure it was receiving, a soft moan escaping her.

“Mmm... that’s my good slut” San hummed and praised, taking the now on machine and placing it against her hairline before running it down the top of her head, both of them moaning, Y/n from the feeling and San from the sight of the sight of now small bristles between her locks as his hips pushed in and out even faster.

The man now shaved off another strip from the spot besides the previously shaved one, humming as he remembered something and took the machine to her eyebrows first and pressed it against the skin, feeling himself hit her g-spot as her eyes rolled to the top of her head, mouth falling open as the male erased the hair above her eyes.

"Yes, s- sir! Please make me your good slut! I- I love you! I'll never leave you! Please never leave me, Master!" She started crying out of joy, kissing his hands as her unstable emotions made her feel absolute joy. He had accepted her as she truly was. In her darkest form. “Please write funny things o- on my skinhead when you’re done. I am a dumb whore!” To her, there wasn’t a man more great than him.

“Fuck yes… That you are.” San grunted as he started to shear the rest of her long locks like one would to a sheep. “You are my dumb little slut who will do nothing but serve her Master from now on!” His free hand landed a smack on her head which was showing up more and more, nothing but thin stubble covering the skin.

"Yes I will, Master! Please! Please treat me like trash!" Y/n clenched around him, near to cumming. “Trash that was born to take your cock! You're so good to me! I wish you'd snuck in my house this morning and raped me right there! I wish you'd have shaved my head and forced me to go to college like that! It would have been a pleasure to be humiliated like that and by you!” She was literally crying out of pleasure

“Oh..” The man chuckled while panting. “I will force you to go like this baby, don’t worry.” He promised as he snapped his hips even faster, feeling himself getting close from the sight and all her filthy confessions. “And I will wake you up by fucking you every morning, making you a mess and sending you off to college like that.” It was done, the only hair on the girl’s head slight messy stubble that he’d remove with a hand razor later to reveal the skin underneath.

"Yes, please! Please always only force me and rape me! Please keep me bald! Keep me at your feet! Please feed me your piss and cum! I want to be your hand and footrest! I want to be an object for you to fuck! A bitch for you to breed! Your little animal! I JUST WANT TO BE YOURS! I WANT TO BE THE DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET!" She was sobbing as she started cumming hard, her tiny body spasming in pleasure while holding one of San's hands because it was her first time cumming from sex.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him from the intensity of it and kissed him while he played with her tits, pinching her nipples painfully as he kissed the girl back and let her ride out her high before pulling out. “On your knees!” San kept pumped himself until he came all over the girl’s pretty face and mouth. “That’s my good little cumdumpster.”

She smiled and started to kiss his cock and hands in respect, then his balls. Y/n really had truly submitted. "You're perfect, Master! Where have you been all my life?!" A pout made its way on her lips as she whined, hugging his leg and kissing it, not daring to go further up out of fear.

San was satisfied with her behavior. “I’m here now baby… And I am never leaving.” He kissed the younger one and slapped her ass lightly after helping her get up. “Lets get cleaned, doll.”

"Master, I wanna drink your piss." She shamelessly told him, not standing up, taking his cum off her face with her hand and greedily sucking at it. "A- And I wanna kiss your feet!" She was way too eager for this.

The man chuckled at her request. “You want to drink my piss? Then open up, my whore.” San held his cock over her mouth before putting pressure on his bladder, whimpering before the hot stream hit her lips.

Y/n was obediently on her knees drinking all of it after cringing at the taste a little, moaning happily. It was her first time drinking anyone's piss. She was in heaven. She finally had an owner! The girl made sure not one drop went to waste. "Thank you so much, Master! It is amazing!" The younger one stopped drinking and let his piss wet her face before starting to kiss his feet, fully in her subspace.

“You’re such an obedient little girl.” San praised, not being able to hold back the smile as he watched her, never having imagined her willingly being like this for him in such a short time period. But then again, he wasn’t surprised. “Good girl.” He cooed patting her head.

Y/n desperately kissed his hand and grabbed it, starting to cry. "M- Master... everyone leaves me... P- Please don't leave me... I- I'll die!" She almost promised him, nothing short of a maniac. Maybe she was even more twisted than San, in a way

“I’ll never leave you, you’re mine and everyone will know that.” Cupping her cheeks, he passionately kissed her, already making plans in his head about how he will modify all of her features as his perfect little pet.

The girl giggled, sucking at his lips greedily. "Master! Your piss was on my face!" She tried to get it off. "Give it back! Ish mine!" Huffing, she lapped at his piss like a needy little bitch.

San chuckled from her antics and swiped his fingers on the pretty face before holding them up against her lips. “Open up…” He let her suck on the piss covering his fingers. “Fuck... you’re so perfect for me.”

Holding his arm like a child, Y/n started sucking on his fingers greedily, smiling. "Thank you, Master!" Before she made his fingers hit the back of her throat, making herself gag and loving it all. "Mashter Mashter! Whatsh your name?" The girl questioned while deep throating his fingers.

“It’s San, baby.” The man replied with a smile, watching her choke on his fingers, her warm drool trickling down his long fingers.

"Shan! Ish sho pretty! I am Y/n!" Letting go of his hand, she hugged him which was returned with a chuckle.

“I know, babygirl.”

"M- Mashter... I- I dunno why b- but... I- I shaw a video too a- and I want you to s- shove my shaved hair u- up my assh and i- in my mouth... a- and take picturesh... Hehe I am sho naughty!" His eyebrows raised as she hid in his chest, a smirk forming on his lips.

San patted her messily shaved head. “Yes. You are, baby. You’re fucking naughty but okay. Daddy is here to help his little girl with all her little disgusting whore fantasies.”

"Y- You wanna?" Before she chirped again. "Mashter I want to be owned like an object a-nd like an animal! I wanna be like a p- piggy! A- And I want you to b- beat me and whip me e- everywhere a- and I wanna be bruished! A- And I want to be raped all the time!" She was too fucking sick and twisted but now that she wasn’t afraid of being judged, she was letting all that was locked deep down out.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll treat you like one, baby.” San said before chuckling to himself, still in disbelief of just how fucked up she really was.

"A- And I want you to fuck my bummie and not let me cum for monthsh! I wanna be forshed to wear chashtity! I want you to make me cry and beg but you don't give in and only torture me more!" She told him. "Pleashe alwaysh shlap me and my head!"

“Fuck... you’re so naughty baby… I love it.” San almost moaned from the sight before getting a chunk of her shaved hair and shoved it in her mouth before getting his phone and taking pics of her all stuffed and messily bald like that.

The twisted girl smiled in the pictures and eagerly nodded, turning her fat ass in front of him now. "Please put hair in assh too!" She struggled to speak, smiling and posing for all of the pictures.

San actually wanted to take a video of him shoving hair up her ass and so that was what he simply did, laughing. “Look at this disgusting little dumb cock whore! So slutty and needy! Loving to be humiliated and looked like a dumb fucktoy by her owner!” He spat on her.

"Yesh I am! Yesh I am!" Y/n spoke with difficulty, showing her stuffed face and head too, arching her back, imagining herself a beauty goddess of her own kind. "My lobely mashter shaved me! And ish gonna treat me like hish trash and look! I habe hair up my assh! And in my fashe! I've got no eyebrowsh!"

“My good little slave… All mine… So submissive” San praised, kicking her ass in the camera and chuckling at her squeak, watching her clench the hair up when her pucker winked. “You’re really loving this, aren’t you?” Lifting her face, he spat on her forehead.

"I ammmm~" she whined, face red before starting to try to rub her cunt against the floor.

“Look at her trying to desperately rub her slutty cunts on the floor…” He filmed it all. Fuck. He loved seeing Y/n all dirty and submissive for him.

Drool was dripping down her chin and boobs. "Yesh Mashter! O- Onwy fow yoooouuu~" a needy whimper left her.

“Mmm... yes, only for me” San spoke and slapped her hard which the girl loved, getting even more wet and kissing his hands. "I- I... cum pleashe..." She whimpered again, loving the control she was in.

“No... get up.” San warned sternly. “You’re not allowed to cum, you’re never allowed to cum.”

"B- But... M- Mashter..." The girl pouted and whined, having forgotten that she was the one that told him that she wanted him to never let her cum and torture her like that.

“Are you talking back to your Master?” Raising an eyebrow, he gripped her chin before slapping her, making sure it was all being recorded so he could fuck her to it later.

Her pussy tingled. “N- No! No Mashtew owwiieee…” The hair in her ass and mouth tickled humiliatingly.

"That’s what I thought" San husked and threw the phone on the bed before pushing her on the carpet again. "Tell me when you’re close."

"M- Mashtewwww" Y/n started crying like a little baby, shaking and dropping the hair from her mouth because it was getting hard to breathe.

"Did I say you could drop the hair?!" The man growled darkly before pushing the hair back in. "Breathe through your nose, dumb slut!"

The girl let out a cry, trembling and sobbing as she nodded. He was rough. It was making her cry. But she also loved it and felt wet. "Yesh!" She loved being at Master's mercy.

"Good girl." He said pushing her down on the carpet more. "Rub yourself nice and hard slut." Y/n started rubbing herself as he ordered, feeling the carpet burn against her pussy but she couldn't help but love it, biting her bottom lip through her stuffed mouth. Oh… She loved it so much. The girl wanted it to bleed almost… Reaching out to hold his hand, the girl spoke. "You're sho perfect... I wish I'd m- met you when I wash l- little..."

"I wish that too baby, fuck... I’d fuck you every night while your parents were peacefully sleeping in the next room…"

"Y- You'd fuck me when I wash a little baby?" This was fucking revolting and twisted. They were both utterly sick. Y/n kept moaning loudly and getting wetter, rubbing harder and harder. "Y- Your fat cock i- in my toothlessh mouth... AHHH... I wouldn't need miwk... You'd have fed me your Mashtew milk fwom youw cock..."

"Fuck yes!" He growled as he felt himself getting hard. "Yes baby… I'd feed you my cum every day. You'd have grown up getting your nutrients from it, eh?"

"Daddy... Daddy... You'd be my Daddy? But inshtead of miwk you'd feed me youw cum evewyday? Ish the besht miwk!" She was very close and her eyes fluttered shut when he started playing with her tits and pinched her nipples before pulling at them. "Then I'd say I grew up drinking Mashtew's cock miwk! Hehehe!" The girl was too far gone.

"God, yes! You’re such a filthy and sick whore!" San knew she were close so he pulled her up. "No cumming!" It made the girl whine loudly and she fell on her face.

"Mashtewwwwww!" Before she curled in his feet, calming down a little when he didn't give in and ripped her pussy away from the carpet. "M- Mashtew... p- pleashe may I wemove haiw now...?" It was getting stuck to her mouth.

"Yes. You may, my little cum rag." The male wanted to use her mouth and feed her his cum so he allowed.

Y/n dropped it and quickly cleaned her tongue and inside of the cheeks with her tiny hands. "Bleg... hehe~" she curled in his waist, rubbing her tiny head against his chest.

"Good girl~" he patted her head before pushing her back in position. "Now use that mouth good baby…" San pushed his cock down her narrow throat, loving how tight and warm she was, making her gag from the rush of it in an instant.

The girl gagged but enjoyed it, loving it all. She quickly started sucking his cock, grazing her teeth against it and swirling her tongue. Y/n had watched all that porn for a reason. Kissing his balls, she sucked on them, whimpering from how his private hair tickled her nose.

"Fuck! look at you! Sucking on master’s cock like a starved bitch!" He slapped her again, feeling his shape against the skin of her cheeks. "You love it, don’t you?!"

"Yesh! Yesh! Yesh!" She hollowed her cheeks and bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sucking and whining as San rubbed the top of his foot against her pussy, smacking her bald head before pushing his cock all the way down her throat, tightly clasping the back of her head.

The man groaned loudly as he twitched in the soft walls of her throat, washing her throat with his hot semen before cleaning her up and finally shaving her head fully until there was nothing but glossy skin left before they went to bed.

"I have shchool tomorrow... Mashter do you go to shchool?" Y/n yawned as she snuggled into San's built chest, whimpering and smiling whenever the realisation of who he was hit her.

She loved being owned.

"No I don't. I will be right here when you come back, my pretty slut." San said while kissing her softly like he hadn't unleashed his sadistic likes on her.

"Why don't you go to school?" She suddenly pouted. "Then how will Mashter have a career?! You'll be poow! I dun wan poow Mashtew!" Y/n huffed brattily. She didn't really care about that, only wanting to see his response because she loved to piss off her top.

"You don’t really have a choice, sweetheart." The male gritted out. "You’re stuck with me forever. If I am living on the streets, you’re living with me."

She opened her mouth to brat but the bell rang. Rushing to the door, Y/n opened it to reveal a police officer. "Oh... hi..." The officer smiled a bit at her and asked the girl if she still needed an officer and why she had hung up when they called. "O- Oh no officer... I was just being paranoid... It wasn't anyone..." Y/n's cheeks blushed because she could see the officer was staring at her shiny bald head and eyebrows. Feeling herself getting wet as humiliation made her blush, Y/n found herself wondering what it'd feel like if he smacked her on her head. The girl's nipples got hard.

But oh... she couldn't cum!

"Okay then, be careful, Miss." He tipped her hat, nodding a little before walking off.

Y/n felt so wet. "Have a good night, officer!" A giggle left her as the man disappeared, starting to rub herself against the door up and down, running her hand against her head.

"Now, what was that?!" San deeply spoke, pushing the girl against the door, making her head hit against it embarrassingly. "Did you forget who alone can make you wet?!" The male yelled before slapping her. "You sick little exhibition loving whore! Not even you can do what you like to yourself! You're all mine! Only I can do whatever I please to your whore body!"

"Yes... You... You sir!" Y/n closed her eyes and held her hands above her head, lowering it for him to slap. "Please hit my head... Ugh... fuck me up... I want my head to be bruised... Ugh fuck! I am so wet... Please beat me!"

"What a disgusting little trash!" The man laughed, slapping her head this time. "You love people making fun of you, huh?"

"Yes I do! Yes I do!" She whined. "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make fun of me! Humiliate me! Hit me and bruise me! Make fun of me! Humiliate and degrade me! I want my whole college to laugh at me!" A loud cry left her.

"Let’s get you bruised up, then." San decided and started slapping the girl's tiny head and face until it was all red and sore. Y/n was crying by the time he was done, literally sobbing as she just fell on her knees and knocked out of exhaustion, her owner carrying her to the bed and then laying next to her knocked out form.

"Good night, my love." The male kissed her soft and red cheek before falling asleep too, holding her fragile body close to his, his slumber calm and satisfying today after so long.

Y/n stirred as she felt her pussy being invaded the next morning, making her stir as she felt lips upon her own and fingers pinching her nipples as her other boob was being groaped, her pussy expanding and sucking in a huge cock. San's huge cock. "M- Master~!" She whispered out when her eyes flew open and she was met with San's face. "W- What… s- so early?!"

"I promised you I'd wake you by fucking you every morning, didn't I, my slut?" He grinned and attacked her lips, eliciting an excited gigglish moan out of her as he started to fuck her fast and rough, pushing his balls in all the way.

“Y- Yes! Yes! F- Fuck!” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head from the realisation that he had been fucking her in her sleep before she woke up, feeling him twitch inside her. “M- Master! I- I… c- cum…” Y/n tried to speak, her back arching from the pleasure of him biting on her nipples before smacking her bald head softly.

“Little breeding whores don’t get to cum, baby. They just take cock and let Master use them like the cum rags that they are.” San’s cock slammed in and out of her pussy, his hand gripping her neck for support when she clenched around him. “Fuck! So tight!”

Tears welled up in her eyes as her face got red from how rough his thrusts were, how much her clit was burning for stimulation, how much her ovaries hurt to cum. “Look at this hairless little whore! Unable to even breathe without my permission let alone cum!” He spat in her mouth before turning her around and pushing up her ass, chuckling when she whined out.

“Sorry, slut. Little whores don’t get what they want around here and only please Master as they are supposed to.” Grabbing a sharpie, San started writing on her head whilst choking her with one hand, pounding her harder and harder up her ass. “Hurry up and please your Master well so we can go to an important place before you go to school.”

‘I am a bald little nasty slut. Please hit my head. I love it.’ Was written on the back of her head as the man laughed, deciding to not tell her what he’d done just yet, waiting for her to find out later when the people on campus would be warming that cueball up.

Y/n was whimpering as San waved at her and she shakily walked inside her college with a bald head, wearing nothing inside her skirt as she sneakily pushed the slipping ass plug back inside her cum filled ass. Lowering her bald head now that she was outside and people were staring at her new look, the girl gulped and felt herself squeezing her legs when some girl giggled at her.

Fuck… She couldn’t help but bite her lip, loving the humiliation as her cheeks felt hot.

Master had gotten her pussy, septum and nipples pierced before walking her to college. He was going to buy a special leash for that that was going to be passed through all her piercings to ensure she was in his control at all times.

Her train of thoughts was broken when a smack landed on her head by a guy passing by before he chuckled at her shocked expression. Before the girl could question him, she received a text by San. A picture message. Of what was written on the back of her head.

Widening her eyes, Y/n gasped and her hand automatically grazed against her head. No wonder the piercing lady had lightly smacked it before Master and she had laughed at the girl. “N- No… you didn’t…” She whispered in shock before one of her ‘friends’ smacked her head, making it jerk forwards.

“Cute look, Y/n.” Before she walked off to class, the people passing by gave her looks and talked about her.

Fuck… She squeezed her thighs in utter humiliation as the wind blew, making her desperately try to keep her skirt down as wetness trickled down her thigh. The girl wasn’t allowed to touch herself and not cumming was one of the rules now upon Master’s order and her foolish confession. She had a whole day to last before getting home and begging him to let her earn it.

Her ass stuffed, body owned, everyone silently chuckling at her humiliating look and getting smacks to the head like that wasn’t going to help.

“Oh, Master…” She whined to herself in despair. “What have you done?”

#san smut #ateez smut #choi san #choi san smut #dark kpop #dark fic #non con #ateez #ateez x you #ateez x reader #san x you #san x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #san

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cuddles-and-kisses · 3 years

Text

So The Cat's Out Of The Bag,,,

Another fanfic for Agapito (an OC that belongs to @yandereaffections) The story starts under the cut. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,908 Trigger Warnings: Subtle yandereness, I can't think of any others

It’s 11 pm. I’ve been avoiding schoolwork all day and I’m in no rush to fix it. I've been writing fanfiction, of sorts, for the past 3 hours. On the bright side, the first draft is done! My back hurts from sitting so long while my butt hurts because I’ve sat on a wooden stool this long. I need to take a break but what to do? Oh, what to do? My weekly planner is wide open on a bookstand to my right. I could be productive, or I could keep avoiding them... So the planner is closed now. I’ve reorganized pens in a pen cup for the seventh time. Is there a limit to how many times a person can adjust a desk lamp before going insane? There has to be something else to do but what? As if on cue, my phone lights up with a text from my Baby. We’ve been official for 6 months so our dates are a lot more casual nowadays.

“Angel, I want attention. Unlock the back door” I’m aware it doesn’t seem like it but this is how he asks to come over. He won’t come over until I respond giving the green light. “Bold of you to assume I’m home and not partying at a random frat house” We both know I’m not doing jack at 11 pm on a Friday. Nonetheless, it’s fun to pretend I have a flourishing social life. “That’s cute. Back door please” Alright, now to get up and- ow, fuck, ouchie, ok, hold on. *POP* There we go!

I should probably pick my room up real quick. I made my bed earlier today so that’s not a problem. The svallerup rug from Ikea collects dirt a lot faster than I expected. Although would he really notice? It’s not bright in here. My dresser by the door looks fine. The futon is in couch mode, so there’s not much left I don’t have to clean up for him. In reality, I’m not cleaning for him, I just like having a clean room. The last thing I do is turn on the fairy lights above my head then light a vanilla candle. I know he’s coming over to cuddle or really do anything involving him getting affection. I might as well make my bedroom reflect that, right?

I half-jog upstairs to unlock our back door. Why the back door? It’s not because I love Jesus. Let me explain. The living room floor creaks way too loud. Also, my parent’s bedroom is right next to that door. The side door alerts our dogs to start pitching a fit. How can they hear it from the opposite side of our house? I may never be able to understand. Moonlight drifts halfway across the backroom. Sparse nightlights cover the remaining needed light. I flick on the backdoor lights followed by opening a few blinds to let more light in. Their orange glow overpowers the moonlight near the backdoor.

For whatever reason, the moon is far brighter tonight. Or my pupils are hella dilated because I’m thinking about my Baby. Either way, moonlight dusts over parts of the backroom and kitchen ahead of me. One last light to turn on. An LED light above our kitchen sink smashes through most surrounding darkness, making it almost impossible to see into the living room. White cabinets outline our kitchen. None of the cabinets match each other in this house. It’s as if this house was built in parts instead of planned out from the start. The counter is occupied with things you’d expect; a bread box, knife set, fruit basket, coffee pot, and an air fryer. Yet, there's evidence real people live here. Crumbs from a snack, mail by the fruit basket, half-empty coffee pot, as well as children’s toys forgotten all about

Everyone else is snuggled up in warm beds, sleeping. I can pick out each person’s snoring pattern when they poke through tonight’s ambiance. There are moments where quiet feels like serenity, others where it feels like emptiness. I can’t decide which one I’m feeling because I realize I’m about to have a visitor. A cup of coffee sounds like the perfect way to waste a few minutes while waiting for my lover.

Coffee cup out of the overhead cabinet. A coffee spoon from beside the coffee pot. Fake sugar off the shelves. Room temperature coffee in the pot from this morning. French vanilla coffee creamer out of the fridge. And just like that, a proper cup of coffee is served. Light reflects off the glossy coating painted over our pale coffee cups. Mom considers it a priority to have everything match or look cohesive. Appearing put together is a source of pride for her. A cup is a cup however matching cups make her happy. My ears perk up at hearing his tires pulling into the driveway. My coffee creamer swirls in the cup as he walks up the driveway. The coffee spoon clings against the inside of my coffee cup simultaneously with the creak of our back gate. All that’s left is to wash off this week’s coffee spoon then put it back. I have only a few more seconds until my Love is with me again. I’m a sappy and hopeful romantic for him, get off my back. He’s learned how to silently open the back door and if I didn’t have good peripheral vision, I would’ve yelped.

Intimate hands snake around my hips as a tender kiss is pressed against my neck. I can feel the tender smile tugging at his lips after the kiss, he had a really good day? His body is pressed against mine as he murmurs “Honey, I’m home~” behind my ear; earning a soft chuckle from me. I turn to face him, wrap my arms around his neck, and greet him with a deep kiss. This time on the lips. “Welcome home, my Love.” He’s so close to me, I can smell the cigarette he had on his way over here. The absence of alcohol or weed stench affirms he didn’t have a bad day at work. I can’t wait until these interactions become a daily occurrence. This man is breathtaking under normal circumstances; but, under the glimmer of moonlight,,, I can’t form a single thought while looking at him. The raw admiration and love this man holds in his eyes? Who could stand a chance against him? Not me. Wrong choice.

His hands linger along the sides of my hips. I hold his arms in an attempt to keep him close to me, just a little longer. “I brought you a few things. I’ll go set them on your desk.” He knows gifts aren’t my thing in spite of that he claims I deserve the entire universe. I breathed out, “Ok, I’ll be down in a minute,” then started moving to get my coffee cup, as well as a few snacks to bring downstairs. He starts heading downstairs content with how flustered I am. WAIT A FLUFFING MINUTE THE FANFICTION IS ABOUT HIM!! I whisper yell ‘Baby’ until his head pops back around the corner. I threaten him to not touch or look at my laptop. It was a pathetic attempt considering what he does for a living. In my defense, I tried. I forgot he’s in essence an overgrown teenager who will do the exact opposite of what he’s told. Wanna know what he does? Grin. I’m so fucked.

Agapito dashes downstairs and leaves me in unadulterated fear. I’m frozen in place, trying to come to terms with my fate as his footsteps fade. It’s not smut or anything, just a simple night and morning routine imagining that we lived together. This is going to be so embarrassing. Please spare me this treacherous fate and undying embarrassment. Deep breaths, just take deep breaths. Get your coffee then snacks then, simply, accept what’s just happened.

With arms full of snacks, I shut my bedroom door as gingerly as I can. Setting the cup on the dresser right by the door to make this a little easier. He’s standing at my computer, reading through the last page. Oh hey, he brought me Rolo’s as well as 3 Musketeers. Nice! Oh wait, he’s done reading. His shoulders aren’t tense; his breathing hasn’t changed; all the same, he’s just standing there. “Why did you write this out instead of doing it?” That’s a good question tbh. My Baby’s voice sounds hurt, despite that, he’s trying to hide it. Ok, he needs a hug. Now to throw the snack on the bed. He needs a rib-crushing hug and you bet your butt I’ll be the one to deliver. I tug at his elbow so he’ll face me then pull him into me. His shoulders are right under my chin when we’re facing each other. I bury my face in his neck while my arms hug him as tight as I can. Except why is he upset about this?

His love for me is nothing to scoff at. He loves me the same way he wanted to be loved when he was younger. We’ve figured out he’s catching up from his pre-teen years and onward. So about 13 years without a stable romantic relationship. When he was trying to court me I had to call him out all the time for manipulation. I know he’s terrified I’ll think he’s not good enough. He has episodes of frantic attempts to meet all of my needs, even if it’s not asked for or needed. What is going through his head? Does he feel like he’s not good enough? That he’s not loving me enough so I have to turn to a fictional version of him? Does he think he’s not good enough for me to do this stuff with him? None of those are true, obviously. I explicitly stated that in the story he just read. It doesn’t mean he won’t get stuck inside his head. I need to tell him the truth. Even if I wanted to lie, I couldn’t, he’s a finely-tuned human lie detector. One more deep breath. Squeeze him a little tighter. Look him in his eyes and come clean.

“The reason I didn’t just act these out is because, I didn’t know how to ask for it.” His expression shifts from confused hurt to understanding. I start rambling, “I want to have these experiences with you. I’d give anything to have that life with you but we've only been dating for 6 months and I just, wasn’t sure, how to phrase it.” I’m choking on my own pulse from emotions. I realize I was shifting my weight left to right when he pulls me in for another hug and kisses my forehead. We stand there in each other’s embrace for a few moments before he suggests I come to his house tomorrow night. We both know what he’s suggesting. I can’t help but adamantly agree. Excitement zips through my body thinking about tomorrow night. A smile pulls at my lips as I ask, “Do you mind if I wear this shirt tomorrow night?”

Tonight is about Netflix, snacks, and rediscovering the curves and contours of each other’s bodies. Though, not before I mess up his hair while calling him a butthead. It’s evident his insecurities are still tugging at him. Funny enough, his insecurities forgot they’re fighting against me for his attention.

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 2 years

Note

How would all the boys react to going to a bar, probably Grillbys, and meeting S/O there but they aren't just sitting next to them they are up on stage singing?

Undertale Sans - He's genuinely in shock. First, he knows you like to sing, but he never thought he would find you here, and even more just before his own comedy show. It's pretty awkward in backstage when you're crossing ways with each other ahah. Sans never told you he was performing too, so he's fine with you not telling him before. But now you can support each other, and he will do this every time he can.

Undertale Papyrus - So he went to support Sans during his show, but then the curtains opened and it was you and now he is so confused. Are you pranking him with Sans again? But it seems so real too? For once, Papyrus is speechless. He's even more when his brother asked him genuinely if it's his S/O who is singing, confirming he has nothing to do with this for once. That's a nice surprise. He wants to be here to all your other shows.

Underswap Sans - So. He was at Muffet's to eat sugar things because his brother and you said no earlier and now you are on stage and he is freaking out. You are singing, but you are also giving him a stern look at the same time. He's crying internally knowing he will have such a bad time once you'll finish.

Underswap Papyrus - He promised to you he wouldn't drink honey for a week after he got ill after eating so much. Except he did it anyway, thinking no one would check on him in the middle of the day. Welp shit. As soon as the curtains open, he's throwing his bottle on the nearest table, right on Undyne's plate. Now Alphys is pissed off and attacked the nearest guy, because she thinks Honey would never do that and now everyone is fighting and he can't even look you in the eyes. He's hiding behind the menu. If he can't see you, you can't see him either.

Underfell Sans - He looks at his mustard, then he looks at the scene. Wow, it's strong shit. For a minute he thought you were on stage. Welp, he's a happy drinker and he's coming on the stage with you to sing. Everyone is so embarrassed because he sings really bad. You even more. You drags him outside and threws his face first in the snow.

Underfell Papyrus - The only reason he is here is because he got a called of Grillby saying Red is tormenting his guest singer. He's stomping in the room and completely froze when he recognizes you, trying desperantly to get rid of Red. When Red sees Edge, and, in a flash of lucidity, recognizes you, he's becoming so pale you can almost see through his bones. Edge is dragging his brother outside. You continue to sing but it's hard since Edge is SCREAMING LOUDLY at his brother right behind the damn door.

Horrortale Sans - Oh no. What have you done. The second he saw you, Oak started purring so loudly no one can hear you anymore. He is so happy to see you he can't stop and he doesn't give a fuck about the other clients complaining because he is the hero of the Underground and no one will try to stop him anyway.

Horrortale Papyrus - Oak knew, and invited him (well dragged him here, since he hates the place even more since what happened Underground). He was complaining for several minutes when you suddenly show up on stage, and then he got overwhelmed and now he is crying like a baby while his brother is covering his mouth to make him shut up because everyone is looking at them. "IT'S MY WIFE ON STAGE". Willow keeps screaming that while sobbing loudly. Everyone knows who you are now.

Swapfell Sans - It's a nice surprise. But you know what is nicer? He's opening a new business. If you want to listen to the show, it's 200 g or he's personally kicking out the customers. Grillby is not pleased but Grillby doesn't want to be kicked out of his own establishement so he doesn't say anything. Of course, Nox is not telling you and keeps all the money. You should have the idea sooner.

Swapfell Papyrus - Now you've got a serious problem. One of the way to make Rus sleep is his S/O singing a song for him. It's working excessively well. He tried to resist, he really tried, but then he just collapsed on the ground and started snoring like a dying cow. It's so loud it's covering your song. You are hating him so much right now.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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hajimeiwaswife · 3 years

Text

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

Word count: 4,2K

Wanings: angst (but fluff, too)

Summary: You weren't over the love Childe provided you, even when you were engaged to Albedo years later.

A blue, pink and mauve sky garnished the surroundings of the Stormbearer Mountains. The summery breeze, warm as the light of the bright sun, comforted those who walked along the path of fallen leaves, wild flowers and the smell of mint. A beautiful landscape presented itself for sore eyes to see.

A certain Alchemist was working on his new masterpiece, relaxing under the few rays of light that came with dusk, painting the one he considered the most beautiful person to ever put a foot on Teyvat. Mixing the colours of nature, he portraited on the sketch book the view he had of his fiancée and the scenery, all of it worthy of a cheesy romance novel and a fantasy book.

"How much time do you need?" Y/N asked in a tired tone, trying not to shift her position, "I'm getting crumps on my face from smiling."

The man didn't answer at the moment, considering for a brief time her question and filling a space on the page that still needed his attention. At last, he looked at her and smiled at the image he had the honour of witnessing. The girl, dressed in a summer white and blue dress, was slightly pouting at the lack of talking from his part. Her hair danced with the wind and he thanked Barbatos for letting him see her golden locks fly around her face.

"Just a little more, my love," he answered, his attention shifting back to the drawing in front of him.

"You said that an hour ago," the girl sighed, putting a smile again on her face so she didn't disrupt her lover from painting her, "I thought you wanted to go see Sucrose before the sun came down. Oh! And also, you promised Klee you'd visit her."

He hummed, immersed in the way her features took a hardened expression when she tried to remember something that needed to be done. Brows furrowed and fore finger on her right cheek, she looked at him in search of a comment from the Alchemist.

"Albedo! Are you listening to me?"

"You're so beautiful." mumbled the man, lost in her and the blush that was forming on her visage.

Shameless and, at the same time, honest and shy. That was Albedo, the one she was engaged to. Such an honourable and good man, someone who loved her as much as the Sea loved its waves, as much as the birds loved the Wind, as much as a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire. He gave her his everything and from the bottom of his own person, and she was grateful for it.

"I'm sorry" he promptly said, coughing on his palm to hide the evident embarrassment he felt, "It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable."

At that, she couldn't help but laugh. He was such a beautiful person, always searching her comfort and well-being before anyone else's, always taking care of her and looking for her. A pure soul, she would venture to affirm.

"Don't be silly, sweetheart," Y/N chuckled, positioning once again for him to portray her, "you know I love it when you compliment me. Now, c'mon, finish before the sun falls."

"As you wish."

One more hour of dirtying their hands in paint and observing the marvellous dusk that came upon them, they left to visit Sucrose, who was willing to tell Albedo about her advances in the research they both were working on.

"That's impressive, Sucrose," Albedo praised the girl, reading the documents and correcting those things he found could be improved.

Y/N turned off the conversation, not really interested in the depths of the Alchemy. She respected what the husband to be and her friend did for a life and she couldn't be prouder, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear the endless conversations about properties a flower could have.

After saying goodbye to the little Alchemist, they both headed to say hello to little Klee, who was mad at them for coming so late, it was already her time for bed and, as she said, 'We can't go bomb fishing!', followed by a 'Do you not love Klee?' Reassuring the little bomb crazy kid was more draining than she could imagine, but she did it for Albedo, nonetheless.

The afternoon turned into the late hours of the night, lilac sky was now dark and adorned with stars. The Alchemist had intertwined his fingers with Y/N's, sighing in content, allowing himself to relax at the warmth of her hand and the serenity reigning in Mondstadt.

"Maybe we should head home, you seem exhausted," commented Albedo after watching his fiancée yawn for the third time in ten minutes.

"That would be great, actually." Y/N yawned again, gaining a quiet chuckle from the man next to her.

No one talked again, everything already said until the moment to bid goodnight when they laid in bed. Albedo, being the reserved man he was, kept himself in his side of the bed, not too confident to spoon his girl still.

The silence was only accompanied by Albedo's soft snores. Darkness decorated the walls of the room in the AM. The sense of being trapped growing inside Y/N as she thought of the implications of her new life. She was engaged to an incredible man, who told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her every single day; who went with her on strolls and made her laugh; who could teach her more than she could ever imagine; who appreciated her as she was.

Still, she felt nothing. At all.

She liked Albedo, that was clear. Who wouldn't like Albedo? He was the perfect man. On more than one occasion, Y/N had Amber and Barbara drooling about how lucky she was to be with someone like him. She knew she was the luckiest girl in Teyvat, most women simped over Diluc or Albedo. But, at the same time, she only felt guilt for being with him without actually loving him.

Anxiety growing on her, she decided to stand up. She walked out of the room, being careful not to disrupt Albedo's sleep, and headed to the transport point, she needed to be away from any form of human activity, she felt like shouting and hitting the first thing she could see. Breathing becoming a very tedious task as she approached the device, opting to go to Mt. Aocang. If she was going to wake someone up, she preferred an Adeptus who wouldn't ask more than any nosy human.

The wind, colder than that afternoon, calmed her to the point her lungs could take the oxygen she had been trying to get for minutes. The orange leaves obscured by the night reminded her of the hair she used to love so much. The hair of that man she had once despised, then loved, and then lost.

He, who claimed to be brave enough to enter her heart, had been the one to take it and keep it even until those days. Y/N noticed how her breathing became irregular again, she was used to it, every time she thought about the Harbinger. That repulsive, irresponsible, dishonest, cunning, intelligent and breath-taking man she couldn't forget. How had she let it come so far?

Albedo gave her everything, yet her heart yearned Childe's love. How pathetic.

"Fuck you, Childe!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, not caring for the Adepti, not caring for those who could hear her cursing the Harbinger Tartaglia at 2 a.m. a Thursday night. "You ruined me, you motherfucker!"

So many fights, so many make outs, so much love making, so many nights under the stars trying to comprehend their feelings for the other. All of that for nothing. Like the bitter cold of Snezhnaya they froze, their hearts on their sleeves, light that came from the satellite above turned off.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you don't like me that much." she remembered him saying, his characteristic smirk on his face, "It's true we had our... abrasions, but girlie, c'mon, don't be so stiff."

She could clearly see in her mind how his hands came to her waist, grabbing her in a gentle but at the same time rough grip. A shivered down her spine, in the present and in the pass, and she was sure she would feel it in the future, too.

"How am I supposed to trust you, Harbinger?" she had said, crossing her arms after pulling away from him.

"Easy, trusting me."

And she did. She felt like a fool for allowing him to be so near, to had felt love from him, for loving him.

"Are you feeling okay? You look pale, my love," Albedo commented, a hand of his on the forehead of his lover, a worried expression on his face.

"Yes, Albedo, don't worry, I didn't sleep too well last night," Y/N reassured him, smiling slightly at her fiancé.

The Alchemist hummed, nodding to himself and returning to his work. The girl had returned to their room after a couple of hours in Mt. Aocang, praying for Albedo to not had noticed her absence. Apparently, he didn't. Had he noticed he would had already asked about it, or so she thought.

"I was thinking about visiting Liyue today, there are some materials there I need for my research," Albedo said after some minutes, looking at her, "I was wondering if you'd like to come."

Y/N's heart dropped. She had to say yes, how could she say no to Albedo? He wanted to spend time with her while still working, an effort she really appreciated. But, going to Liyue? What if he was there? Strolling those streets the two of them had travelled a thousand times.

But his gaze was still on her, waiting patiently for a reply. Doubtfully, she considered all her options: not going and upsetting Albedo; going and crossing him; going and being unable to continue due to the memories. No option was good, she had to choose between her fiancé's well-being and hers. 'He's made so any sacrifices for me'.

"I would love to, love."

Merchants selling, people buying, contracts being signed. That was Liyue in all its glory. Red, green and blue being the most recurrent colour themes on the walls, roofs and gardens, a gift to anyone who wanted to visit a paradise.

Albedo was buying some materials while Y/N stood next to him, not looking at anyone's face in case Childe decided to make one of his classic appearances. She grabbed Albedo's sleeve as a way to comfort herself, reassuring one time and one time again that she didn't have that much of bad luck to cross him in such a huge city.

She turned her head to look around at last, brave to see the stores and Liyue's people. Many of them knew who she was, having helped most of them at least in one occasion, great people with beautiful and peaceful lives. She had that now, at Albedo's side. But why did she feel like it wasn't what she wanted?

The red mask in one of the stalls froze her in her place, it looked identical to Childe's. She knew it wasn't his, of course, he was too involved in the Fatui and too wealthy to pledge his mask, but it made her remember him and one of the many memories she had with him in Liyue, again.

"Girlie, don't be like that" Childe exclaimed, smiling at her with bravado, "You don't have to feign you don't want that bracelet."

"I don't want it," repeated her for the third time, growing irritated.

"I have enough money to buy it for you, darling," the Harbinger insisted, taking her left hand in one of his and kissing her knuckles.

"How charming," she murmured ironically, rolling her eyes and pulling her hand out of his grasp.

"I know," he smirked, going after her, "and I also know how much you love when I act like a gentleman."

"How would you know that if you've never acted like one?" she snorted, watching his expression turn into an offended one.

"I'm a gentleman, you just can't appreciate my efforts to woo you," he replied with a pout.

"Aw, little Childe can't take a no for an answer," Y/N continued to tease him, smiling slightly at his spoiled brat's act.

"Very well, little lady, you're not having that bracelet," he stamped and turn away from her, walking without a real direction.

"Not that I wanted it!" she shouted at the distance.

Needless to say, she found the bracelet in her purse that night with a cheesy note that claimed 'To my favourite and stubborn traveller, with love, Childe'.

She still had it in her wrist, accompanying her wherever she went, reminding her of the stupid man that gifted it to her. Golden with Snezhnaya patterns, orange jewelry decorating the surface of the material. Albedo never said anything about it, never asked, and she was grateful for it, he knew to respect her space.

Her fiancé had just finished purchasing what he needed, looking at her with a loving gaze. She felt nothing, only appreciation, and she felt awful for not returning his feelings at their best, he deserved to be loved and spoiled. However, she missed him, she missed what they had.

The grey sky announced the storm that was coming, thunder and lightning appearing to give a performance of nature power. She had fought, walked, ran and danced in rain. She had danced, kissed and loved. But nothing of it with Albedo.

"Now a step to the left" instructed Childe, grabbing her waist with his left hand and her hand with his right one, "and now turn around... That's it! Perfect! You're a natural."

"Stop lying," she laughed, following what he was saying and dancing with him in a forgotten valley in some old ruins, "I can't dance for the love of Barbatos."

"I think you're really good, almost seductive," he purred, kissing her jaw and going down her neck, "seeing you move your hips like that just" an animalistic growl came from the back of his throat.

"Okay, calm down big guy, we're not fucking here."

The sound of thunder interrupted his reply, confusing them both for a moment. Suddenly, rain poured and soaked them wet. Y/N looked for somewhere they could go to shelter from the storm, but Childe just laughed and started making her dance again.

"What the hell are you doing, pee-brain!" she exclaimed, desperate.

"Dancing with you under the rain. Isn't it romantic?" he asked, smug as always.

"Romantic until we catch a hypothermia."

He didn't budge. Swaying them both with the dark landscape behind them, leaves flying around, wind aggressive. But nothing mattered as they looked at each other; love, affection and lust hidden in their souls, wanting nothing more than to indulge to the other and become one. How can anyone love this much? How can feelings root that deep? Childe was the only answer to those questions.

With nothing but a soft caress to her cheek, he smashed his lips on hers, kissing her while the rain accentuated the wet sounds. Everything with him was wild, but so addictive she couldn't help but coming undone, indulging to everything he asked silently from her. A kiss in the rain never felt so good.

"I'll be right back, I just need to drop this at Mingxing Jewelry," Albedo said, giving her a peck before leaving.

She stood there for a few moments, wondering what she could do white she waited for her lover. The rain was nearing Liyue Harbor, Albedo had told her he needed to do a couple of things more before going to the transport point to return home. She felt like throwing up, not a single spot in the city did not remind her of the love of her life, including their ugliest moments as a couple.

"How could you!?" Y/N screamed, feeling completely devastated and deceived.

"I had to! I'm sorry, okay?"

"No! It's not okay!" his indifference was breaking her heart, looking at him with disappointment, "Again! You did it again!"

"I was ordered to!" he shouted, his voice the same tone as hers, wrath in his eyes, "I have a job and you knew about it when you decided to fuck me!"

"What the hell, Childe!" she cried, "First of all, you nearly destroy Liyue! Again! Not only once but twice!" she was tired, everything was going down in front of her and she didn't want to watch it come to ruins, "And fuck you? You mean love you?"

"Love, sex, everything's the same, isn't it?" he replied, calmer and returning to his indifferent tone.

"W-what do you mean?" the fuming storm stopped to bring an eye of the hurricane, waiting patiently to unleash the tsunami over them.

"What you heard; I don't find a difference between the two concepts."

"You're lying," she murmured, unbelieving. How could he say that when an hour ago he was looking at her with so much love? Was it all an act? No, you can't feign feelings so deep.

"You're just too fool to see it, girlie," his smirk appeared, making her shake in fear, fear of losing what she cared about, "confusing terms and assuming things without asking."

"You're lying." she repeated, more to herself than for him to hear. He sighed, as if he was done with her.

"Think what you want. Now, there are people waiting for me. Until next time, girlie."

The shattering of her heart served up as the soundtrack of his departure. The leaves that had been once so vibrant and full of colour now danced around her in muted tones, mocking her. That was it, the end of their love. The palace the resembled their union fell into pieces, she needed to let go of him. The words he said cut deeper than a knife, made her feel cold. But how could she let go if she still loved him?

"So now you're with the Alchemist," a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts, making her turn to the source of it.

There he was. Orange hair and piercing blue eyes. His smirk wasn't present in the portray he displayed of himself, walking as the noble man he said he was. Her heart raced for the first time in years, asking her for indulgence, for permission to feel.

"Yes," was the first thing she said after some minutes processing what was happening. Childe was there, in front of her, "yes, I'm with Albedo."

"I see," he commented, uninterested. She thought that was all the interaction they would have, that he would go away again and leave her live her life, but she had to know better, "even if you can't forget me, you allow yourself to be with someone else?"

"What is it to you?" Y/N felt offended, who did he think he was to reprimand her in such a dirty way? He couldn't know she wasn't over him, could he?

"It's unfair for both of you. You see, love shouldn't feel like you owe something to someone just because they love you." Childe said, his gaze falling at the bracelet for a couple of seconds before looking at the landscape, "You're fooling him and yourself."

"And what would you know about love?" the question came in a bitter tone. She was angry, how dare he talk about love when he did her so wrong? When he hurt her so much?

"Touché." Childe gave her a sincere smile that reached his eyes, it was breath-taking. Y/N felt her stomach twirl and her heart jump at the sight of such a beautiful scenario, "Glad to see you well, Y/N. See ya!"

And like that, he left the place as if he hadn't turned her world around again. She missed him, she admitted to herself that she missed him. She missed his wild nature, his odd conversations, the mystery wrapping around him. She couldn't forgive him, but she couldn't live without him, either. That's the way she loved him.

Once Albedo returned from his errands, they both went to the transport point to return to Mondstadt. The way back was silent, but not a comfortable one as they always had, there was some tension lingering in between them. She wanted to attribute it to the tension she had been carrying since her encounter with Childe, but deep down she knew there was something else.

When they entered their house, they both changed into their sleeping garments without sharing a word, waiting for the other to be the first one to break the silence. Y/N didn't have it in her to be the brave one in the situation at hand, so, finally, Albedo spoke.

"I know you're not over him," he said, calmly, but there was jealousy in his tone.

She was surprised to hear him say those words. She never mentioned Childe before, less being in a relationship with him. She wanted to feel fear, the same one she felt when her argument with Childe broke them apart, but she felt nothing at all. Why? Why couldn't she be in love with a man life him?

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Y/N." Albedo sighed, sitting at the edge of their shared bed.

"B-but", she stuttered, searching for words, "H-how do you know...?"

"There were rumours... some years ago, about the 'traveller' being with one of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. It was during your time at Liyue."

She nodded, understanding, but really not understanding anything, "Did you believe them?"

"I can't say yes, but I can't say no, either." Albedo looked at her, he didn't look angry, and that made her feel a little bit better. "I just couldn't know if it was true or not because I wasn't there."

"I see." another moment of silence followed. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, "Why do you say that I'm not over him, though?"

"There are so many signs, you aren't the subtlest person, love." he chuckled, "The bracelet has Snezhnaya patterns and you haven't taken it out in all these years. I can only assume it was a present from Tartaglia."

Y/N nodded again, impressed with how observant Albedo was and with his deduction skills. She wished for the hundredth time that day that she would have fell in love with him and not with the Harbinger.

"I'm so sorry-" she began, but was quickly interrupted by her fiancé.

"Don't." he commanded, "That's not the only thing that gave you away."

"What do you mean?"

"Your late night trips."

'He knew' she thought, searching for any clues that could tell her when he had discovered it, but there were none. 'He has known all this time.'

"Why haven't you said anything?" she asked.

"I wanted to give you space," he began, "I must admit, however, that at first I thought you were cheating on me."

"I would never-" she was interrupted again, a kind gaze on his eyes.

"I know, I know. I realized when you came home smelling like grass and mint and not with the cologne of another man."

It was silent again, Y/N tried to find anything she could say to make him feel better, but she couldn't even understand himself. Why isn't she feeling her heart shattering? She knew why, but she didn't want to indulge in that feeling.

"I'm so sorry, Albedo. I really am."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." those words sounded identical to the ones she had directed to Childe once upon a time.

"I am aware that you don't love me the way I love you."

"Albedo-"

"But it's okay, I can love both of us enough to fill that gap."

She was at a loss of words. Had she heard it right? What did he mean? Albedo was so calm, so ethereal, looking at her fondly even when he knew she didn't feel the same. He was going to marry a woman that didn't want him the same way she wanted her. And even though he was aware of that, he was smiling.

"Why?" she wondered out loud.

"Because that's how it works, that's the way I love you, until you can return my feelings."

The leaves that danced aggressively at the other side of the window stayed still, processing the scene going on in the room of the Alchemist and the Traveller. Their colour coming back to a vibrant one, giving her hope of being able to love again, to feel something.

Her love with Childe was like the Sun and the Moon, so in love they were crazy for each other, but impossible and unworkable. But, Albedo loved her like the Sea loved its waves, like the birds loved the Wind, like a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire, and she was going to return it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but she would. And when she did, she would love him as much as the Leaves loved their trees, as much as the Lake loved the rain that floods it, as much as the Horizon loved dusk.

She bid goodbye to Childe that night, leaving the bracelet in the drawer in her nightstand. Adorning her hand only was the ring Albedo had gifted her.

"See you, Childe," she murmured at 2 a.m. before falling in her slumber.

#albedo x you #albedo x reader #childe x reader #childe x you #genshin childe #tartagila #genshin impact #genshin liyue #liyue harbor #mondstadt

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charliedawn · 3 years

Text

Imagine being an old classmate of Lucius and him stumbling upon your shop

As soon as the blond boy enters your shop, you know that trouble is not far behind. The boy is touching an item when another man comes in and warns the child by hitting his hand that was handling said item with his cane, sending him a stern look.

" Come on, Scorpius. Stop acting like a child. You shouldn't touch things that aren't yours. Your father would be ashamed.."

The voice, the look, the hair..Oh no..You would have recognized that condescending tone anywhere. You are about to back away slowly and hide in the back shop when the man coughs from behind you to get your attention.

" Shopkeeper, I am searching for a crystal ball for my grandson's class of Divination. Do you have any of those ?"

The hair at the back of your neck stand on edge at the pompous voice dripping with disdain, but you force yourself to smile and turn around to greet the client.

" For sure, sir. Please, follow me."

He doesn't seem to have recognized you yet and you thank Merlin for that miracle. You show him the different crystal balls and he inspects each one of them with the minutiae of a true expert, but you know that deep down, he is absolutely clueless. You almost let out a snort when he chooses the most useless of the crystal balls to buy, surely because it is the most expensive one and that the Malfoys ever had only one motto : Higher is the price Better quality it must be. You still cash it in and try to contain your laughter at the bad deal the man had just bestowed upon himself. However, you fail to see his brat outside, practicing the Alohomora spell on your front door and before you could truly comprehend what had happened, your door shuts close and traps you both inside. Lucius pales at his grandson's action and immediately withdraws his wand to open the door, but the spell doesn't work and he groans in annoyance.

" What is this ?! Why don't my spells work ?!"

You sigh before looking at your watch..6 o'clock. Of course.

" It won't work. Because of the many thieves roaming the street at night, I spelled this door to not succumb to any spell after 6 o'clock at night..It won't open until 6 o'clock tomorrow morning."

He turns towards you, obviously unnerved and is about to yell at your incompetence when a sudden glimmer of recognition lits up his eyes.

" Wait..I know you..You were in my house. Your name is Y/N, isn't it ?"

You scoff before mockingly clapping.

" Bravo ! Took you long enough.."

He growls at your mocking gesture before looking at the door with a scowl.

" Were you always that irresponsible ?"

You rise an eyebrow before rebutting.

" And you, were you always that annoying ? On second thoughts, don't answer that..this is why nobody invited you to the Yule Ball !"

He blushes in embarrassment and mumbles angrily.

" Why you little..Because I had Narcissa !"

You roll your eyes before replying with a jeering tone.

" Thanks Merlin, you had her ! Or you would still be a virgin !"

You would have never thought to see such passionate hatred in Lucius' eyes, him who usually remained so calm and who always had the perfect comeback. But, as you are both trapped, you sigh before getting two chairs and placing them next to each other while he stands still. You sit down and cross your arms before sighing exasperatedly at him.

" Are you going to stay up all night ? Come on, I don't bite..often."

He humphs at that last part before looking at the chair, maybe trying to decipher if there are any traps under the cushion. But, he finally indulges. You both sit next to each other in silence until Lucius sighs and admits.

" You're wrong, you know ? Someone did invite me..I never knew who it was though ? However, what I do remember, is the effort they had put inside the letter..The silver lines moving like snakes around the paper and the green velvet envelope..They even used perfume: a rich fragrance of mint, leather and a hint of fresh nightingale. No name had been written though and this is why I thought it was Narcissa, since she had been trying to find a way to invite me for a while..But then, I asked her about it and she never dared to admit that it was her who wrote it, I found it cute at the time..But now that the divorce is in motion, I really doubt that it was her."

He sighs loudly before pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers, exhausted. You had noticed the heavy eyebags and could only imagine what a single grandfather Lucius could be like. No wonder his grandkid locked him inside. But, since he had been nice enough to share his worries with you, it's only normal that you do the same.

" My shop is on the verge of collapsing, nobody is interested in buying quills and papers now that they have those damn muggle phones..It must be me ? I live in the past and now, reality is hitting me hard in the face.."

He listens to you without interrupting and smiles nearly compassionately at you.

" Guess muggles aren't that great anymore, huh ? I knew that, at some point, our worlds would merge, I just didn't want the Wizarding World to be lost forever..It's sad really."

You can't help but laugh bitterly at his comment.

" A Malfoy will remain a Malfoy ! Always with your ideas of purity and against any kind of change ! If you had just been a little more open-minded, maybe you wouldn't be the most hated family in all the Wizarding World ?"

He only scoffs dismissively at your comment.

" What is the point of being liked when you have power ?"

You look at him and smirk.

" Power ? True power doesn't come from money, Lucius..If you had been paying a little bit more attention, you would have known that power comes in many different shapes and forms..Everybody could have power over anybody, if they only know how to play their assets.. "

He arks an eyebrow at you before smirking as well and asks almost daringly.

" Really ? And what power do you have over me then ?"

The both of you ferociously stare at each other for a while and then, you finally decide to jump on him and tackle him to the ground, to his greatest astonishment. Before he can do anything, you take his cane and throw it away. You then take some nearby rope and, in a few minutes, Lucius is defenseless. When he tries to speak, you put your hand around his throat and squeeze. He grits his teeths and you smile victoriously.

" What was that you were saying about true power ? See how easy it was for me to take the upper hand ? You Malfoy men, always playing the same dangerous game..Over and over again. Never learning that it takes a woman to truly feel powerful..Now that Narcissa is gone, it would be a shame if I were to bite your head off ? Who is going to save you ? Your son ? I doubt it..He hates you. Your wife was your best protection, people always underestimate the power of a mother..But, dear Lucius, you should have known better than treat everyone you come across as pathetic worthless worms..Now, you can either tell me that you were wrong, or I'll tell everyone that a mere half-blood has put the great Lucius Malfoy on his back.."

His eyes widen at the revelation before remembering that he had never seen your mother..Your father was a metamorphmagus and many respected him and that had always been enough..He should have definitely digged deeper. He groans, trying to free himself, but to no avail. He finally glares up at you with everything he feels: disgust being a very distinctive look on him.

" Let me go this instant, you filthy mud..!"

But before he could finish his sentence, you bit his shoulder so profoundly that he finds himself on the verge of screaming..He only hisses instead and you then whisper in his ear.

" Ask nicely..and I may consider it."

He sighs, how could he have been so stupid ? And now, he is pretty sure the memory of submitting to the halfblood would stay in his mind forever..

" Could you please let me go ?"

He finally asks politely but, he is surprised when you start kissing up the side of his neck.

" See ? You can be nice when you want to.."

He groans, still frustrated, but also strangely aroused by all this..But, of course that, he would never admit it to you. He only closes his eyes and hopes that you will stop when you notice that he isn't paying attention to you anymore. However, you aren't going to let him go so easily. You take him suddenly by the chin to force him to look back at your flashing yellow eyes and, to his surprise, you growl.

" Eyes on me, pretty boy..You wanted to see real power ? I'll show you what real power looks like.."

Again, you attack his neck and grind against him until he sees stars.

" You..You will never.."

He tries to speak, but his words get lost when you get him out of his coat and throw it to the ground carelessly.

" Hey ! That coat costs more than your whole damn muggle shop !"

You bite him again, a little less hard on his clavicle, only to shut him up again and roll your eyes playfully at him.

" Me who always thought that you were an ice king, you are just a snow princess.."

He opens his eyes wide at the nickname before glaring at you.

" What did you call me, parasite ?"

You dramatically put your hand at the level of your chest, as if the insult had hurt you before smirking down at him.

" What ? Is that the best you got ? Parasite ? Well, don't forget that said parasite is the one who is making you harder than rock right now..Must hurt, isn't it baby ?"

He clenches his jaw hard at your taunting tone before suddenly raising his pelvis to hit yours, making you moan loudly. When you open your eyes again, he is grinning up at you and asks mockingly.

" What was that ? I thought you said you were going to show me power, but all I hear are the purrs of a pitiful kitten who thinks she is a predator.."

You growl and put your hands around his throat. You aren't playing anymore and want to kill him..To kill him for everything he had done, everything he was..

" Die, you piece of trash !"

But, far from being affected by your sudden death sentence, Lucius only smiles weakly at you and takes your wrists that are shaking around his throat. He takes your moment of inattention to flip you under him, your wrists pinned to the floor.

" It isn't fair.."

You mumble almost in tears as he frowns in incomprehension at you. Why are you crying ? You are the one who had attacked him first, and now you are the one saying that it isn't fair ? As if you could read minds, you try to explain.

" I tried so hard to escape..To escape from you Malfoys and the misery that you seem to surround those who try to get close to you..But even years later, I still end up crossing your damned path !"

He tilts his head to the side, surprised by your sudden outburst and stares at you while you start sobbing and wiggle to set yourself free. When he is sure that you aren't going to attack him again, he slowly shifts his hands from around your wrists to gently wrap them around your waist. He then cradles you in his arms and puts his chin on the top of your head before closing his eyes, calmly stroking your back with his hand to soothe you. It takes a few moments for the both of you to calm down and get back to a normal regular breathing rhythm.

" Soon, I'll be out of your shop and you will never see me again.."

You know that he is trying to reassure you, but the realization makes your heart skip a beat in fear. You would not see him again..He would never know who wrote him that letter all those years ago..He would forget about you. Narcissa had been clear on what would happen to you if you ever dared tell him who was the true writer of the letter..But, would it really matter now ? Narcissa was gone and Lucius was there, his arms wrapped around you. Also, surprisingly, had not make a move to get his wand back to Avada Kedavra you yet. It was a good sign, right ? You look up at him and as soon as your eyes meet, you know that he isn't going to hurt you. You then look at the crystal bowl that he had bought, broken and splattered on the floor. You sigh before reluctantly standing up and getting your most precious crystal ball out of the shelf and giving it to him. He frowns in confusion at your gift.

" What are you doing ? I haven't paid for that one.."

You smile genuinely up at Lucius before silently picking his coat up and running your hand on the soft material before giving it back to him as well.

" I think it should be better if you would take a moment to rest, Mr Malfoy..My behavior was inappropriate and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It was foolish of me and I humbly ask that you do not sue the shop for my mistake. It is already in a very bad condition and I do not have the money to pay you back for what I did to you.."

He opens his eyes wide in shock before looking at the items in his hands, and finally lays them on a nearby table.

" I do not care about all that now. I don't even understand you. At first, you say that you hate me and try to kill me, then you bite me and try to seduce me in a very odd and savage way, and now this ? What are you trying to tell me, Y/N ?"

You bawl your hands into fists and bite your inner cheek in order not to say anything and turn around to leave. He is to never know who you are or why you are angry at him..You thought he was smart, but you had to admit that he was not the one you thought he was.

" This is where we part ways, my ice prince. Tomorrow, you will come back to your kingdom of paper people and fake happiness and I'll be just another insignificant person that you will forget..Until then, I suggest we both sleep our separate ways. The sofa on your right will be just enough comfort for you and I'll be sleeping in the back with the best company one can have: books."

He stares at you for a few seconds, dumbfounded, before following you and locking the door behind him. You squint your eyes suspiciously as he flashes you a dark grin.

" After all this time, I finally found you.."

The dangerous vibe he is giving you makes you quiver in fear and you step back until you hit the wall. He chuckles at you poor attempt to escape and when he looks up at you again, you can see that his icy blue eyes are nearly glowing in the dark. He gets out his cane that you regret not having taken and slowly makes his way to you, running the tip of his wand on the many books kept on the shelves. You suddenly feel cold sweat running down your back, is he going to kill you ? You wonder as he stops just in front of you and his eyes brighten as he slowly makes a mental map of your body with his eyes that give away a certain appreciation..Is he planning on disposing of your body piece by piece ? Suddenly, he take you by the jaw and forces you to look directly in his eyes as he runs the tip of his wand on your cheek, neck and collarbone. He then leans forward and whispers in his low baritone voice.

" I hope you had fun teasing me..Because it will be the last time I'll ever allow you to make a fool out of me..What ? You thought I wouldn't recognize the perfume ? You stink of the same thing you sprayed that letter ages ago..And, if it wasn't for that, there is only one person that I've ever heard call me ice prince."

He knew. He knows. Oh no..You feel your eyes sprinkle with tears in front of the truth. When you think things couldn't get any worse, he summons said letter with his magic and smirks at your horrified expression.

" I kept it. Want me to refresh your memory ?"

He doesn't wait for an answer before starting reading out loud the subject of your embarrassment.

" My ice prince, I have been considering over the past few months to ask you humbly to accompany me to the Yule Ball. My dreams are filled with your scent and marvelous blue eyes that seem to light up a path to Heaven. When I close my eyes, my thoughts are filled with images of your delicate..Oh my !"

He stops abruptly and glances at you with a sinful smile.

" I had forgotten how detailed the letter was..I remember making Narcissa very happy the following day. To think that it could have been you..You must be feeling so disappointed.."

You blush vividly and try to get out of his grip by scratching his face, but he takes both of wrists and pins them above your head with one hand before continuing reading, not the least bothered.

"Oh no, my darling..You'll stay right there and listen to every word you wrote me..You'll listen and I'll make sure that you remember all of them by heart by the end of the night.. That way, you can shout all you want about how you've put the great Malfoy on his back, but I'll have the immense pleasure to tell everyone who I've succeeded in bringing to her knees."

Your heartbeat quickens at his words and you try to get back up, but Lucius doesn't let you. He pins you down to the table while motioning you to stay quiet.

" You..You're evil.."

You manage to gasp out and he chuckles, as if the insult in itself was some kind of hilarious joke.

" Coming from you ? It's a compliment, my dear..You bit me and tried to kill me. Now, where was I ? Ah, yes..Your delicate hands around my throat and your tongue against the crook of my neck.."

He leans in and slowly and sensually licks your neck from your collarbone to that place behind your ear. He then proceeds to whisper in the shell of your ear.

" I must admit, you are far more responsive than Narcissa at the time.."

His hand lowers itself agonizingly slow down your waist until he reaches your waist and suddenly uses it as leverage to drag you towards him brutally, as if to make you realize that it is happening, that he is here, that it isn't all just a dream..

" Your lips look irresistibly pleasing, my dear..Mind if I get a taste ?"

Before you can say anything, his lips are upon yours and his tongue is invading every crevice of your mouth. You roll your hips against him as a response and he slowly drags his other hand from your wrist to your throat. He squeezes lightly and with your free hands, you cradle his face for him to stay still.

"..I've never seen such beautiful sapphire eyes and only the thought of you makes me want to sing and dance.."

The letter falls from his hand as he understands that he doesn't have to remind you..as you've never truly forgotten. He kisses you again, but sweetly this time. Before you can continue however, he stands up and gets out of the room, leaving you hot and bothered.

" What are you doing ?!"

You yell, almost in despair and he only chuckles before closing the door behind him.

" I did what I said. You won't forget that letter any time soon..However, I can't allow myself to be seen with an half-blood..It would be improper."

" Im..Improper..?"

You repeat, as if dumbstruck by the fact that you may have been played with..You look at the door with a glare before getting up and walking determinedly towards the door. You try to open it, but find it locked.

" Lucius ! Open this door right now !"

But you are only met with a laugh from the other side.

" Good night."

You try to open it by force, but it doesn't work and you can't do anything but declare defeat. You get back to the table and sit on it before burying your face in your arms, trying to muffle your tears as Lucius had, once again, tricked you. But, to your surprise, you hear the door opening and see Lucius standing there, guilt written all over his features.

" I..I didn't think that you would actually cry.."

You don't know what angers you the most : his genuine shock or the fact that he is now staring at you, completely lost ? You try to get past him, but he doesn't let you and cages you in his arms.

" Come on..You know I was only playing. I was going to open it soon enough.."

You try to get out of his grip, but the man is not ready to let you go any time soon. He even tightens his hold on you and you finally lean back, inhaling his very expensive cologne.

" Am I just a game to you, Lucius ?"

You ask with a heavy heart and he decides to answer truthfully.

" At first..you were. But, now ? I don't think so. After the war, I understood that I may have acted wrong. I'm still trying to get better. I may have had very bad ideas over this concept of pure-blood supremacy and other..But, I know now thanks to my son and my grandson that I acted out and I wish to make amends. I truly do. This is why, I think I want to give it a try..Will you help me ? Please ?"

You are taken aback by such honesty in Lucius, but still nod in agreement.

" I have had many phases in my life, some when I hated you and some when I lov..liked you. I don't think that you are a bad man, Lucius. I just think that you are a very ambitious and very proud person. If you could just spend some time with people like me..You would see that we aren't so different..This is why I'm willing to make the first step."

He looks at your outstretched hand for a moment before finally taking it with a small smile.

" I'm looking forward to working with you, Miss Y/N."

The next day, Lucius is finally free from the shop and remains courteous. He even apologizes on behalf of his grandson and Draco seems surprised by his sudden change in behavior.

" Did you use magic on him or what ?"

He asks you in a whisper, but you only laugh heartily and shake your head.

" No. I just talked to him..and he listened."

Lucius smiles, his eyes creasing a bit and you glance at each other with a knowing look. Lucius would be back. He had still much to learn afterall..

#lucius malfoy x you #harry potter #lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy x reader #scorpius malfoy #draco malfoy #fandoms #imagine

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liibrii · 3 years

Text

fem!Miya!reader x Ginjima Hitoshi & Akagi Michinari || part of the Third Miya series

Synopsis: It’s just a courage test. Just a nightly walk through a labyrinth of statues. Even the moon refuses to peek out from behind to clouds to witness your stupidity. Oh, did I mention there've been ghosts sighting here? There've been ghost sightings here.

Warnings: cursing, some spooky atmosphere, spooky things happen, some prime examples of sibling love

wc: 2.3k

a/n: should I post this chapter after the one establishing Reader's friendship with the team? Yeah, probably. also what I could do is write a little author's note that Reader is a friend with all the boys on the team and move on from there, ya know?

In case you missed previous chapters, Twins call their sister San, while others simply refer to her as Miya. (I'm experimenting and trying to use y/n as little as possible. lemme know if you like it).

if you wanna be tagged in future chapters lemme know and as always feedback is greatly appreciated!

Nothing scared you.

Well, except Mr-No-Gaps Kita Shinsuke but you're pretty sure there isn't a being on this planet that wouldn't be afraid of him so that disqualifies him from this particular competition; or mom that one time she discovered nobody had taken the trash out even though she said to do it several times. And the dark sometimes. And ghosts! Ghosts are spooky. You can't punch a ghost

But other than that nothing scared you.

This nightly walk though is making you reconsider the statement. Maybe the time has come for you to put 'dark' and 'weird noises whose origin you can't see' to the top of the list. Shivers run up your spine and you step faster, closer to Ginjima beside you. He gives you a questioning glance but luckily doesn't say anything. You hope he won't mention it later either. The only thing worse than your brothers finding out what a scaredy cat you're being right now is... Well, nothing would be worse than that.

The Gallery Tangle is what this place is called and you find the name strangely fitting. Stone statues, some crumbling and all overgrown with moss, stand lined by the path going in twists and turns. No matter where you turn cold unseeing eyes watch you. If you were the one choosing the name for this place it would be something along the lines of 'that corner nobody in their right mind would ever go close too'. Some people believe it used to be a cemetery but really it's just a meadow where someone left an unwanted statue once, and then another, and before you knew crowds of curious tourists and stupid teenagers visited the place all the time. Even the moon refuses to peek out from behind to clouds to witness your stupidity. Oh, did I mention there've been ghosts sighting here? There've been ghost sightings here.

So naturally it's the perfect place for a courage test. The only one at fault for this entire situation is Osamu for daring Akagi and Ginjima to go visit the site, and you for falling for his trap when he turned to you and, with that annoyingly sweet voice pretending he's a caring older brother who's just looking out for his little sister, said: “Thank the heaven yer too much of a baby to go out of the house after sunset.“

Yeah well, maybe you are and he knows it, and he also knows the easiest way to get you to do something is to tell you you don't have the guts. It's all a well tested trap you keep falling into. Walking amongst countless silent statues you want to ponder how the mice traps are always so obvious and yet the mice keep falling for them like dummies, but that would be a silly thought to have in the middle of the night and taking your current circumstances into consideration also incredibly hypocritical.

Nothing much scared you, except for Kita Shinsuke, but if you were given a chance to get help from one person right now you'd chose him. As much as the mere thought of him makes you straighten up and check if your clothes are on point you're sure ghosts and demons and other creatures of the night would rethink once or twice before coming closer to bother you. Not to be rude but he'd probably be a better ghost repellent than trembling Ginjima beside you who at the moment is being more of a ghost attractor. Can ghosts sense fear? Apparently even horses can smell fear so why would ghosts be any different? Maybe better for that question to go unanswered.

“Are ya sure we're goin' in the right direction?“ asks Gin.

“Maybe.“

“Akagi-san ya do know that's not the answer we wanna hear right now, right?“

“I'm yer senpai so I can't lie to ya,“ answers Akagi and you wish he wasn't your senpai so you could give him the well deserved kick in the shin. As Osamu would put it, getting a straight answer out of him was sometimes harder than eating udon noodles with only one chopstick. Your smart-ass replied with 'Just drink them', which was a funny response at the time, a justifiable enough reason for Osamu to slap your head, but in the end this solution didn't really apply to the libero. “We're takin' a little detour to avoid inhabitants of this place,“ Akagi says and if you didn't know him better you'd think his words were meant to reassure you.

“Ya mean the statues? I don't think they really mind us trespassin'.“

“Ah no, not the statues.“ He turns and points his torch up to light up his face. “I meant ghosts.“

“Ha ha, very funny,“ you say pretending a shiver didn't just run up your spine. Your hold on your own torch tightens.

“Skepticism doesn't suit ya Miya. There's a ghost of a little boy hidin' round here. Ever since his old house was demolished he walks around lookin' for his parents.“

“Sure he does,“ you answer and quickly change the topic because if Akagi doesn't stop you're sure Gin will climb in your arms and the question if you're strong enough to carry him is another one you don't want to know the answer to. “Where did Samu say he left the scarf?“

When Ginjima answers his voice is strangely high pitched: “By the statue of an old lady with a cat.“

Akagi nods. “We should split up so-“

“No!“ you and Ginjima half yell.

“We could get lost,“ you add, feeling heat rise on your cheeks.

“Exactly,“ Ginjima agrees, “look how many statues there are! It's a labyrinth 'round here!“

Akagi gives in without much convincing with a gleam in his eyes you really don't like because it looks suspiciously similar to the gleam Atsumu has before blackmailing you with one of too many embarrassing things he knows. “Right, right, last time I was here the cat lady was on the other end.“

“Was?“ Ginjima follows close behind and you're just glad to have you back covered.

“Statues move sometimes. Usually when no one is lookin'.“

“Funny,“ is all you say.

Still, as you continue the expedition you don't let your gaze wander around. It's not like you could see anything anyway. It's too dark! At least that's what you keep telling yourself. Anything could hide out there.

You shudder. Why did you think it was a good idea to leave without taking a hoodie? As if summer nights aren't chilly. Or maybe you just walked past a cold spot where ghosts linger. Now that sounds like something Akagi would tell you.

You're acutely aware of how close Ginjima is walking and you're glad he is. His shoulder bumping into yours every now and then and the sound of his steps are the last things keeping you from letting your imagination run free.

That's the thing about imagination. It makes the pile of unfolded clothes look like a child crawling out of the floor. It makes sitting stone statues seem to blink and turn their heads when you pass by.

When you nervously glance over at Ginjima you notice he's clenching his jaw so hard you start fearing for his teeth. He puts you at ease. As much as that is possible while walking in the dead of night around seemingly endless line of statues. If he was as carefree as Akagi you would, all your foolish pride be damned, most likely burst into tears right then and there.

The nearby bushes rustle and maybe it's just the wind, or a cat on a nightly adventure, or maybe it's something entirely different, but whatever it is lures you into making the mistake of looking over at the statues, where you catch a pale face with unblinking eyes behind long, black hair staring back at you. You scream. Jump, trip over a stone and end in Ginjima's arms, your ears ringing from the high pitched shriek you presume is his.

Akagi jumps too and points his torch around to see what made both of you finally lose the brave facade. He searches around the statues but there's nothing to be found. “It's gone now.“

“Ya sure?“

“What was it?“

“A white face and... black hair.“

“So, a ghost?“ asks Akagi and you nod, holding tightly on Gin as if your life depended on it. A sly smile spreads across Akagi's face. “See, I told ya there's ghosts.“

“Not helpin' ,“ says Gin as Akagi's words make you shudder.

Only then does it hit you Ginjima is holding you bridal style and you swiftly climb back down, still shaken and now completely embarrassed as well. You don't even dare think how much bribing will take to convince Akagi to keep his mouth shut about this. Oh, if your brothers find out they will never let you live it down.

“Maybe we should go home,“ suggests Ginjima still holding you up because your knees turned to pudding.

“Like hell we are,“ you sneer, the blood rush turning fear into burning determination. If this is what it takes to shut Samu's annoying shit mouth, then so be it. “Cat lady, right? I bet she's this way.“ You pick up your torch light and head into the wrong direction.

“Miya, we have to go right,“ Akagi calls after you.

“I am goin' right!“

“The other right.“

You turn on your heels and head into the 'other right' direction. You think you hear Akagi snicker. Step by step your sudden burst of determination and fearlessness drains but like hell are you going to show it. It's just ghosts and spooky demons and maybe some cursed children, what are they going to do? Scare you? Joke's on them, you're already scared! And cold, and embarrassed, and you just want to find that damn scarf already and go home.

It waits neatly wrapped around the cat's neck. It's eyes have an almost mocking look. As if the stone is judging you for taking on this courage test in the first place. Well, you think, it ain't wrong.

“There, now we can go,“ you proclaim when your trembling fingers finally manage to unknot the silky fabric, and as if some cruel fate or inhabitants of this eerie place watched you only a few statues away something rustles.

All three of you freeze and listen. In the distance you can hear cars driving by. A late night train stops by the station.

“What was that?“ asks Gin.

You stuff the scarf into your pocket. “Doesn't matter, we got what we-“

“Let's go check it out!“

“O hell no,“ is the first thing that leaves your mouth but for some reason Akagi thinks it's a sunny Sunday afternoon and the perfect time for a stroll.

“Let's go,“ Gin nudges you to get you to follow Akagi but you don't budge.

“No.“

“He's our senpai Miya, we can't just let him wander off.“ He lowers his voice. “He might get in trouble.“

“Let him. I've had enough of this place,“ you say and head into the opposite direction. Ginjima hesitates, casts a few lost glances between you and Akagi before he decides the prospect of something happening to you would get him into much bigger trouble. “Are ya okay?“ he asks when he catches up.

You give a stiff nod. All you want is to get away from this place.

It doesn't take long for Akagi to come running back. “It was nothin',“ he says, out of breath and smiling as always but if you'd pay more attention you'd notice he's a bit paler.

And you are about to find out why.

A white figure appears from behind one of the statues, howling and shrieking, or maybe that's Akagi and Ginjima. Your heart stops for a mere moment before jumping into overdrive. You grip your torch, step back with one leg to gain momentum, and chuck your only source of light into what you guess is ghosts head.

“Aargh!“ shrieks the ghost before it starts screaming its lungs out at you, “Are ya stupid?! Ya could've hurt me ya shithead!“ It pulls the sheet off to reveal a very irritated Atsumu rubbing his forehead where the torchlight hit him. “OW!“ he shrieks again when you kick his shin. You'd probably kick him again for good measure if another figure, this one clad in black and with an oni mask, didn't jump from behind the statues and scare you into leaping in the air. The figure laughs and avoids the kick aimed at it's knee. “Samu!“ you shriek. “This isn't funny!“

“It is a little,“ says Akagi and to his luck he's your senpai and standing out of your reach. At least Ginjima doesn't look amused by your utter embarrassment.

In an effort to regain some of your pride you pull out the scarf and chuck it into Osamu's face. “Here, yer kitchen cloth.“

“San don't speak about mom's clothes like that,“ teases Atsumu who at the stare you send him immediately takes a careful step back.

Osamu pinches your cheeks and not even a death glare stops his teasing: “Maybe ya ain't such a baby after all. But ya do scream like one.“

“Absolutely hilarious,“ you deadpan. “Who was the white faced lady? Suna?“

“What white face?“

“Don't play with me ya shit pig. The one that almost gave Gin a heart attack!“

“Ya screamed louder than me-“

“That wasn't us,“ your brothers shake their head. You don't believe them because, why would you?

Akagi bursts into laughter. “Maybe ya saw a real ghost after all!“

A... a real... ghost. The rest of you exchange uncomfortable glances.

Gin is the first to speak. “It's gettin' a little chilly. Maybe we should,“ he gestures towards the path, and you nod, enthusiastically.

“It is gettin' late. We'll hear it if we come home past curfew,“ says Osamu.

Walking away you don't want to look back but something compels you to throw a quick glance over your shoulder. Wide unblinking eyes stare as you leave, face ghostly white and almost glowing in the dead of night.

Or maybe it's just your imagination.

tag list: @espressons @trashy-simp @nachotrash @megumiisee @foxxtrot-116

in case you’re curious, Gallery tangle is based on a real life Statue village in Japan.

#ginjima x reader #akagi x reader #ginjima hitosh #akagi michinari #ginjima hitoshi x reader #hqcorenet #akagi michinari x reader #haikyuu ginjima #hq #haikyuu #inarizaki x platonic reader #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki x y/n #inarizaki imagine #inarizaki #the third miya #libri scribbles

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meanhoeforcb97 · 4 years

Text

Guess Who [Pt.1]

Pairing: Bang Chan x Minho x Felix x Fem!Reader

Genre: Kinda suggestive

Warnings: Series contains smut but not this part, swearing, hickeys (I think that's it???)

Requested: Nope

Words: 1,5k (I think this is my shortest one so far lmaoo)

Note: This is the fastest I've ever worked on a piece OMG xD This hasn't been proof-read so I'm sorry in advance lmaoo (also this is my first ever foursome so it might get a little messy in the 2nd part djdjdb)

You were drifting off to the sound of your earphones' music on the living room's couch when suddenly you were shaken awake by none other than the sunshine of your life Lee Felix (note the sarcasm)- that little fucker always bothered you in the worst times possible. Groaning and turning your back to him you tried falling asleep once again but with no avail since he was still shaking you rather harshly and whining at you to wake up.

"Felix I swear to God if there isn't a fucking fire I'm gonna fucking murder your for waking me up." You groan as you turn to look at him with your sleepy and blurry eyes only to see him looking at you with sparkling puppy eyes and pouty lips. You felt flustered by both his expression and by the close proximity of your faces-mere inches apart.

"I-I.. what i-is it?" You asked as you begun to raise your body to sit on the couch properly.

"I was bored and wanted to play a game with Channie hyung but the game he suggested needs at least three people.. I didn't mean to upset you, sorry..." He said as a sad expression covered his once bright face. He stood up from the floor in front of you where he was previously kneeling and started to walk away. Feeling shocked and guilty for yelling at him you reached out and grabbed his hand in yours.

"No wait!" You said and he slowly and very dramatically turned around to look at you- exaggerating his pout in the process. "I didn't mean to tell at you, I am just tired and grumpy.. sorry Lixie.." You said also pouting. After a moment of silence and just starring at each other you spoke up again.

"..So.." He raised an eyebrow implying you should continue "what game were you guys thinking about?" Just as those words left your lips he immediately smiled so wide that his eyes disappeared and his pearly white teeth were blinding your vision. "Let's go and you'll see!" He exclaimed as he pulled you up and basically dragged you to Chan's room. When inside the bedroom, he let go of your hand and motioned you to sit down so they could explain the game. "So basically, we're going to play 'Guess Who'. In this game one player guesses is blindfolded and the rest take turns in doing things like touching them, holding their hand and so on. If the player guesses right they take the point and the rest a penalty if the player fails to guess correctly they take the penalty and the rest of the team the point." Chan explained and you nodded, it was pretty easy. "So who wants to start?" Felix said looking at you and then at Chan. You didn't answer feeling a bit nervous, Chan sighed slightly and stood up, "I will" he said as he went into his closet and disappeared for a minute or two. He came back with a black blindfold in his hands. Your eyes widened at the sight of silky fabric and your mouth fell agape. You decide against asking him why he even had such a thing in his closet since you figured you weren't ready to hear the answer.

However that didn't stop your brain from going other places wondering what else he had hiding in that closet or his. Your cheeks flushed and the heat travelled down but you quickly snapped yourself out or your trance and focused on your BEST FRIENDS that's all they were, just your best friends. "Y/n?" Chan called out to and you quickly snapped your head to look at him. "Yes?" You gulped and Felix smiled and cooed at you reaching out to pat your head. "Awww look how nervous she is to touch Channie hyung! Can't wait to see how flustered she'll be when it's her turn!" He said, the last part making your eyes widen and you gasped. "I-I'm not!" You huffed without thinking. "Oh?" Chan said surprised, "okay... help me put the blindfold on." He said a michivieous smile threatening to appear on his plump cherry lips. You stood up with no hesitation evident in your actions but your mind was screaming at you at that very moment. "Turn around." You commanded and Chan with a slight curve of his lips did as instructed. You took the silk out of his hands and very carefully and slowly placed it over his eyes after folding it in half to make sure he couldn't see through the material. Tying it tight enough to be secure you asked if it was too tight and the elder shook his head negatively. You took a step back to look at him and he looked so fucking ethereal at that moment. His pale skin complemented the dark shiny piece of fabric really well and his brown hair fell elegantly over his eyebrows. You helped him sit down at the chair in the middle of the room. When he was seated comfortably you and Felix looked at each other trying to decide who would go first. You shrugged your shoulders and he and he motioned you'd do rock paper scissors, in the meantime Chan was sweating in anticipation. Who would touch him? Where? How? Everything was overcrowding his brain and making him feel light-headed. Suddenly he felt a hand in his hair caressing through his soft locks affectionately. He hummed lowly in enjoyment and he hoped no one noticed. "Felix?" He said and you clapped twice meaning correct. "What do you want the penalty to be?" You asked and he hummed deep in thought. "Erm, for every penalty you owe me one snack of my choice?" He asked and you all agreed. Felix stepped back and you guys started faking footsteps around him to confuse him before Felix went closer to him again and leaned down to kiss his cheek. Chan gasped shortly before smiling smugly "Felix again. Y/n would never do this, she's too shy" Chan said in a tone just as smug as his smile and you clapped twice again but much more irritated than before. And you were lowkey offended. He was right but still! You were tired if them thinking of you as some sort of saint virgin-which you definitely were not. You faked steps again and came closer to Chan holding your hair back with one hand, you gulped slightly before diving into his neck. You left a wet, open-mouthed kiss there and bit the skin right after, and lastly you topped it of by sucking slightly. This time chan yelped loudly and almost moaned, you felt the vibrations traveling from his neck to your mouth, and even though you know it wasn't intentional you couldn't help the heat from growing in your pelvic area.

"F-felix again?" He asked, you smirked and sucked on his neck harshly (not enough to leave a mark) before stepping back. "Wrong." You said boldly right next to his ear, almost grazing it with your lips. "Too shy my ass." You mocked and Felix whistled "Damn girl! Wow, just wow" he said speechless before approaching you and Chan, "My turn." He said taking the blindfold away from Chan. The eldest helped him put it on and Felix looked just as pretty with it on making heat pool in your underwear for nth time that evening. His silver hair stood out well with the black fabric on his beautiful face and even though majority of his freckles were covered up the few that were still visible made a huge difference on how innocent he looked even when he was blindfolded. Once again you found yourself going down the unholy lane and had to quickly snap yourself out of it for the second time in the last 20 minutes. You looked at Chan and he smiled showcasing his dimples before he motioned you to start. You frowned at him as you walked up to Felix. You leaned don and placed a hand on his chest before kissing his cheek—trying to keep it PG13 this time. Felix laughed slightly "Nice try y/n I'd recognize Chan's lips anytime." He said making you slap his shoulder in embarrassment. "Your lips are so soft though! One more? Please?" He whined and you laughed before kissing his cheek again, he smiled wildly and you stepped back. The game went on and it was finally your turn.

As you were taking the blindfold off Felix the bedroom door opened. "What the..." Minho let out before he smirked. "Having fun I see?" He said and you blushed deeply "N-No! Its not what it looks like!" Chan just laughed and explained the game to him. "You guys are fucking boring, wanna enhance the game a bit?" He said with a mischievous cat-like grin and you gulped as the boys all nodded in agreement and you hesitantly did the same.

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shinyrockalaska · 3 years

Text

Acceptance (or: Charlie's incident)

Summary: Charlie decides to drink Amortentia, just to see if it could affect him, so he could feel the same things everyone else around him seems to feel. Unfortunately, he didn't check who's Amortentia he was drinking...

Word count: 3.3k (my longest fic so far!)

More about the inspiration for this at the end of the post!

Enjoyy <3

He didn't plan it.

Well, yes, he thought about it a few times before, but only theoretically. He never intended to try and do something so drastic to change himself.

But he was in the sixth year and he was seventeen and everybody already had too many expectations of him.

They all acted as if they knew everything about him, who he was going to be, what he was going to do... he couldn't change it, he couldn't tell them they're wrong because he didn't know what was right. Yes, he's a kind and caring person. Yes, he sucks at school because he just can't focus or stop daydreaming. He's messy and obsessive and is definitely going to work with dragons after graduation. They all knew it, and so did he. But that's it, the rest was a blur.

He should've felt lucky. At least he always knows what he wants to do after graduation. Some of his friends, like Tulip and Ben, still had no clue, and they were all stressed out about it. But they all somehow fitted in. With the outsiders, yes, but most of the time Charlie felt like he's an outsider even to the outsiders.

Some may say it's because no one has ever seen him wearing any short clothes, not even in the summertime. He always walked around hiding in his big green coat. Or maybe because of his weird specific fears, that no one else seemed to share or to be scared of it as much as he did. Not even Ben. Or probably, because he never dated anyone and never talked about it with anyone. Charlie thought it was all of those things, that made him himself, but, weird. He never hated himself and was quite proud of being different. But in the end, it doesn't matter. Even the proudest quirky kids would choose to be normal - to fit in - if they could. So you can see why now, at seventeen, he felt that desire to fit in.

Every dinner with his family, his mum would nag him to try and find a nice girl. More for herself than for him, really. Because most wizards and witches find their partners at school. All of his friends already started to go out with each other and whatever student they liked at the moment. There were couples everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And he still couldn't figure out what's wrong with him and why he's not interested in any of that. Even the religious kids, the anxious kids, the awkward kids- all talked about their crushes non-stop. Not everyone dated, of course, but they all talked about it, and the pressure was high. All he ever heard around him was sex, kissing, dates and love. Whatever that was.

The worst part was that his friends were actually supportive.

At first, they would beg him to tell them who his secret crush is, which student he liked. They wouldn't listen whenever he told them that he doesn't have one. But they all calmed down after a while and he explained that he just doesn't care about this stuff. He just doesn't.. feel the need. And they accepted it. Accepted him. But now he was just being put in another box. They stopped talking about their crushes with him because they knew he wouldn't understand. And that was just not true. But could he argue with him when it's so clear they know him better than he knows himself?

So that was the situation he was in. That's why after a super frustrating Amortentia class, where everyone around him kept blushing and giggling at the smell of their own and everyone else's cauldrons, where his friends all sent him sad smiles and kept telling him how jealous they are that he has nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, where he had to lie and tell Snape fake smells because, of course, he smelled nothing, he just couldn't take it anymore. He decided it was time for a change.

So when the class was dismissed, he stayed nearby. And when Snape left the classroom, he scooped some leftover potion into the weird-shaped glass bottle and drunk it without thinking, without hesitating, and without even knowing who's cauldron it was.

It's Amortentia, after all. The strongest love potion. If it increases those love feelings to others, then he might actually feel something, be somewhat normal.

He felt guilty for doing it and had to stop himself from running to professor Snape so he would give him the antidote right away before anything bad will happen. He knew the potion just cause obsession and trouble, but he had to know, at least for a little while, what's it like to be kind of in love.

At first, he didn't feel anything different. Lunch was normal, Care of magical creatures was normal. He felt dizzy at History of magic, but maybe it had more to do with the boring lesson than the potion itself. Charlie was disappointed but somewhat relieved when still nothing had changed by dinner time.

That is, until, Merula has entered the room.

He forgot that tiny, little, important detail that now he was madly in fake love with whoever brewed that potion. Which was, how unlucky for him, Merula. But now he didn't care about it. All he wanted to do was stay with her from now on and forever.

"Charlie, are you okay? You look a little sick," Barnaby commented about his appearance. "And a bit pale," Tonks added, but Charlie preferred to ignore his friends' concerns. "Have you ate something bad?" Rowan questioned, "is it because of potion class?" That question made him nervous, of course. "N-no! I'm just tired.. w-why would it have to do anything with p-potion class?"

"Because you smelled nothing, right? You're not upset about it, right?" They all looked at him with that same sad-apologetic smile as always. He hated it. Just because he's different doesn't mean he needs to be treated differently. "Guys, I'm fine. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Being yourself is the best thing anyone can be! Why would I want to be anything else but myself?" Maybe he was trying too hard to hide it. He sighed, "please just stop giving me those sorry faces. I don't need your pity, I-"

From the corner of his eye, he spotted Merula leaving the room. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said and hurried up after her.

He couldn't pick up the nerves to talk to her so he just followed her around to the Slytherin house in the dungeons. Then, he had to go to sleep, but he couldn't stop staring at the ceiling, smiling, and dreaming about Merula.

"What's up with him?" Ben asked as he entered their dorm. Jae shrugged, "I think he's been drugged." And when Ben's face showed panic he laughed, "just kidding, he's probably thinking about dragons."

Normally, Charlie would be tired after sleeping less than six hours, but he had an amazing dream about him and Merula on a date with candles and chocolate and all he wanted was to feel her hand in his own.

"Are you alright, Charlie..? You still look pretty sick," his friends told him at breakfast. "I'm more than fine, I've never felt better," he said with this wide fuzzy exaggerated smile and the fake spark in his eyes. He barely touched his food, he just kept staring at Merula. And his friends noticed.

"Why are you looking at the Slytherin table? Who are you starting at? Awwww did you finally got a crush?" Normally he'd be embarrassed by this question, which always made him feel unease. But this time, he wanted to be with Merula so badly, that he welcomed any help. "It's Merula, can you maybe get her attention? I really want to kiss her! And maybe.. more? I already thought about names for our kids! Human names even! We'll have a perfect life near the dragon reserve!" He babbled.

"What?!?! You can't be serious! That's- that's just- no!!" They were shocked and a bit disgusted. "It doesn't make sense, Charlie.. you hate Merula!" Talbott said, making Charlie angry, "well, maybe you don't know everything about me!" He shouted, and many students' heads turned around to look at him. "Ever thought about it? That maybe I am more than the way you see me? More than the things you see in me?!" He kept shouting, making his friends feel embarrassed, as they lowered their heads. "Yeah, that's what I thought," Charlie frowned. "Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to ask out Merula!" He shouted this sentence too, causing Merula to look at him, disgusted, and run out of the great hall immediately. He shot one last angry look at his friends, before storming out of the room, after Merula.

"As you all know I'm an expert in love and-" Andre started to say quickly but got cut off by Diego. "I think we can all agree I'm the love expert."

"True," Jacob's sibling said, "you promised to get me dates at the third year and you still haven't! Diego's been more helpful than you.."

Andre was irritated, "That.. that doesn't matter!! Can't you see that Charlie is-"

"Poisoned!" Rowan cut him off, "he's drugged on Amortentia!"

"No way! It's too hard to- oh no! He probably drunk it yesterday after class!" Penny was frightened.

"Dang it, Charlie! What do we do now??"

"We'll have to tell a professor. Even if he'll hate us. We have to do it before he does something stupid like actually making a move on Merula!" Rowan stated, horrified.

"Merula wait! Please, let's talk!" Charlie shouted, running behind her, and she surprisingly stopped. He caught her a few halls past the great hall, on the way to the dungeons. she almost got away from him. He took her hand and started talking, blushing, stumbling on his words. "I can't imagine my life without you! We will be so perfect together, don't you think? Let's run away and start a family together! Do you like dragons? I was thinking we could live next to the Romanian dragon sanctuary and have at least two kids. Do you like the names Violet and Jade? I think they're perfect! I picked them because it's like your eyes and the Slytherin colour. And also not dragon names! Oh, I feel so safe and happy around you. Can you tell me about yourself and your family and life and beliefs and every little detail possible?" He was now hugging her, clutching to her as close as he can.

"This is unsettling in so many ways, Charlie. Stop it now. I don't know what sick game you're playing but cut it now before I'll have to hex you, or call someo-"

"Game? No, no! This is love, baby! Don't you see it?" Charlie felt heartful, in a way he never felt before. And he liked it, being fearless. Feeling warm and being somehow full of love. "Did someone dared you to do it? Have you been drinking elixir to induce euphoria? Oh no, don't tell me you're-"

"Merula! I'm so sorry for Charlie's behavior." McGonagall called out from the end of the hall, followed by Charlie's friends. "What are you doing here?! Go away! I don't need you! I have my Merula! Don't ruin this for me! I deserve to have love too!" Charlie screamed and clung to Merula even more than before.

"Charles Weasley come with me right now!" McGonagall was furious. No student has ever acted like that.

"No! I'm staying here with the love of my life!" He tried to kiss Merula's hand who just pulled it out of his reach immediately, disgusted and uncomfortable. "Don't talk to me ever again, freak." She said and walked away.

"No! Don't leave me! We can make it work!" Charlie screamed as he hurried up after Merula, who now went from fast walking to running. McGonagall grabbed Charlie's arm and stopped him. "you're coming with me now, I cannot believe you!" she said loudly, disappointed.

"No!!! You can't stop me from being happy and in love! This is me, just go away! I have to get Merula back!" He was hysterical, tears running down his face. He cried so much his head started to ache, but he didn't care. he had to follow Merula. Had to be with her. He'd rather die, give up on dragons even, than not spend every single minute of his life now with Merula.

But McGonagall pulled him away from any hope to fulfill his dreams, all the way to her office. He kept cursing his friends, who looked very ashamed and worried, as he got dragged away from them. None of them laughed at the scene he caused.

"Drink this. NOW." McGonagall ordered, but Charlie refused. "I will not let you drug me and prevent me to have this! Let! Me! Go!" He screamed, caughting McGonagall off guard. But it wasn't the first time something like that happened, it just never got out of hand to be like... Charlie's case.

"Stupify." McGonagall cast the spell on Charlie, with a heavy heart. She hates using magic on students. Still, she poured the love-potion antidote liquid down his mouth and watched as he slowly got back his consciousness. She looked at him, all confused as he tried to remember what happened.

"Who did this to you? Was it Merula? She didn't look quite satisfied with your obsession but that doesn't mean it's not her. So tell me, who drugged you with love potion?" McGonagall asked him in both compassion and anger.

"What? Oh you mean the Amortentia.." he lowered his head, "it was.. me?"

"What?! This is beyond belief, Charlie! Why would you do that to yourself? You know it's a dangerous potion! You know the consequences! I expected better than yo-"

"That's exactly the problem!" He cut her off, rudely, "Everyone always expecting all sorts of things from me! I can't be everyone's version of me! I don't want to! I barely even want to be me! You wouldn't understand but I just had to fit in!!"

Charlie never in his life yelled like that at anyone or anything, especially not a professor. But he didn't care anymore. He was sick of everything. McGonagall was surprised again, it was very unlike him to behave that way.

"I- Charlie, listen." He looked at her a bit worried and ashamed. "You don't need to be fixed. You know that using potions and magic to change yourself is bad, especially if it's illegal.." she gave him an alerting look. "I can't tell you how to feel or who to be, but I want you to know that every person is different than the others and there is absolutely not a thing that is wrong with being yourself. Being different is good-"

"As someone who's been different his entire life, I can assure you it's not. Everyone always says it's wonderful to be extraordinary and different and special and whatever, but even the proudest weirdest kids would choose to be like everyone else and fit in if they could.." Charlie said, focusing on the wall rather than McGonagall's eyes, playing with the zipper of his coat.

"Maybe you need to have more pride, Charlie. You're a very unique person, let those special things about you define you by your choice, instead of being ashamed of them. I encourage you to find that strength to let go of the shame and fear in you and to just.. be yourself."

"Pride is stupid," Charlie murmured quietly, "it's something I had no control over. it's not a drawing I made that I put a lot of effort and time into it, so I'm proud of it. No. It's something I couldn't even choose, something I can't change. There's no pride in having no control."

"Well, could you have chosen to be a Gryffindor?"

"Uh, no, but.." Charlie went quiet, thinking.

"I know, you wanted to be in Gryffindor, but if you happened to be in Hufflepuff, wouldn't you still have some house pride in you?" McGonagall asked him.

"I guess.." Charlie shrugged, still upset.

"We cherish pride in us, based on what we learn from our surroundings as we grow up. But society is not always right. In fact, most of the time it's even wrong. And so, you need to be your own society, sometimes. Be the change you want to see in the world, and even if you're different than the way it seems society tells you to be, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. You need to accept yourself just like you would've accepted any of your friends, and just like you would want the world to accept you. Even if you turn out to be completely different than the person you thought you are. understand?"

Charlie nodded. He felt, not for the first time, like McGonagall can read minds. She answered all of his worries and questions and feelings, with her calming words.

McGonagall let him off of his classes for the rest of the day and he decided to write a letter to his family, explaining how he feels. He asked them to be kind and understanding, as he has no control or any choice over his feelings. He wrote down everything that bugged him in the past years. The letter was far too long, and contained seven full written pages. In the end, Charlie decided he won't send it yet. he felt better, but still wasn't ready to face his family's reaction to his incident and different behavior. He felt as if it might disappoint them. it was ridiculous, he knew, they would love him no matter what. Even so, seeing those words, his words, written down in those pages, in his own handwriting, made him smile. It was his choice, to write them, to use them. And he won't let anyone tell him it's wrong.

At dinner, he sat with his friends as usual, worried about what his friends might say. He didn't want them to be worried about him, but he knew they were, after what he did...

"Hey guys, thanks for, uh.. you know... watching out for me.." he said, nervously.

"Sure thing! How are you feeling, Charlie? Better? You're not mad at us for calling McGonagall, right..?" His friends were just as worried as him.

"I'm feeling much better, relieved. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't call McGonagall.. you really saved me.."

He could see Merula sitting next to Ismelda, and glaring at him, furiously.

"You could've chosen a better person to fake fall in love with," Andre joked.

"Yeah, even in this I didn't have a choice or any luck," Charlie laughed, a bit uncomfortable as this subject was still upsetting sometimes.

"How much trouble did you get to from that talk with McGonagall? We haven't seen you all day, so we figured you've got punished real hard.." Ben said, carefully.

"Well, I need to write an apology letter for Merula.. but I got off easy."

"Your mother's not going to like it.." he heard one of them saying, but even that part was okay.

"McGonagall promised not to tell my parents if I'll agree to meet her once a week and talk to her about what's bothering me, instead of bottle it inside me... she wants me to have more pride, and she trust me to choose the right time for me to tell my parents about this incident."

His friends smiled at him, and he smiled at them back.

He tried not to feel nauseous, remembering how foolishly he acted that day, convinced he has to fit in. He still sometimes thought it would be better for him to be like the rest. But he can't. So when he felt that way, he reminded himself of McGonagall's words and named all the good things in his life, and the things he does have control over.

Charlie knew from the moment he drunk the Amortentia, that life might not be easy for him, always having to be the odd one out.

But it was his own life, and he should be proud of what he has.

---

Wow! Finally! I had this idea for like a year and I've been trying to write it ever since, so this definitely took time...

---

I really like how it turned out, I hope you'll like it too. This is how I see Charlie.

The fic was inspired by another beautiful fanfic (here's a link) where Charlie almost drinks the potion but ends up not doing it.

Even though it's not canon, to me, Charlie is the closest thing we have to an aromantic and asexual representation, and it's just so, so important to have that. It took me years to feel comfortable with me being like this, I'm still working on it, and I think a big part of it is because we don't see anything about it in the media or anywhere else really.

Self-acceptance is harder when it comes to aros and aces because it's just so different than other romantic/sexual orientations, it's hard to define lack of attraction, but it doesn't mean it's bad!

Everyone is valid, and I know knowing this doesn't make it immediately better, but it helps to remember it. I don't want people to be afraid of who they are, to feel like they need to be fixed, to have to hide away.

So now, it's the end of pride month but you and I- we're still here! And we can still shine bright and be proud of ourselves for coming so far! The truth is always right, don't be afraid of it. 💜💚

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #charlie weasly #hphm fanfic #hphm fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #aroace charlie weasley #acceptance #asexuel #aromantic #tge representation I needed #idk what to tag as always

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