Tumgik
#he's also got doctorates and stuff. OH also Karen!
K but the fact that Wally and Hartley are working together in a state-of-the-art, bajillion dollar funded, relatively unsupervised, sci-fi science lab??? Sure, they work in different departments and on different floors but HELLO?!? The hijinks potential is astronomical!!!
These two are probably the worst people to have unsupervised in a lab setting because they will just do whatever the fuck they want and it will work and that's the worst part. Hartley and Wally would create the portal guns from Halo on their lunch break because it looked cool and then they wouldn't even consider the consequences of what they've just unleashed upon the world.
Wally was building time travel devices as a child. Hartley was building mind control devices as a child. Considering consequences isn't really their forte.
God, I sure hope that building has good supervisors.... and insurance. Lots of insurance.
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scienceoftheidiot · 1 year
Text
TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME
I was tagged by @shutterbug-12 thank you !!! Weirdly we do share a show, how surprising 😁❤️
Here's a thing : I do not watch that many shows. Partly because I don't have time, partly because I am bad at watching shows because I need to be emotionally invested to get into them, and once I am ???? I can only watch that show in particular, on repeat. Yeah I'm a grown ass adult fight me.
Ripper Street : end all be all the best show on this list that is not at all in order of good from bad for real but this one tops everything. Period drama, awesome characters, delicate treatment of issues we are still struggling with nowadays with actually sometimes more decency from these 19th century Victorian men than 21st century people 🙃. Also misery misery misery feels and a fine dry humor that makes it the perfect match. Oh, and. Dead bodies and gore happens. Also there is something to the dialogue than I just absolutely love.
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Daredevil (netflix) : of course this one has to be on the list, and I love it, and I love Matt and Karen and Foggy, and I wish S2 didn't exist. All this can coexist, you know (and I love Elektra and Elodie Yung she is absolutely NOT the problem). Please do not talk to me about She Hulk or the Disney reboot, thanks (gif to make people watch it, I like my men sad and guilty they can't save everyone and covered in blood, thank you). So yeah overall a show I love and have rewatched many times but nowadays... I feel kinda bad about it and it makes me sad.
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Band of Brothers/The Pacific : you know me, you know why I like these shows (no it does not stop at "men in uniforms"). We did a rewatch of BoB recently and I think it's an easier watch than the Pacific, but I think I like the latter better even if everytime it makes me feel so bad. Anyway a gif of Webster because (hard to chose between him and Leckie I admit)
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Doctor Who : just. Love it. Especially RDT era. Can't chose between 9 and 10 but the best is Jack Harkness
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Good Omens : I need a rewatch. Just love it. I have nothing more to say, it's great.
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Scrubs : probably one of these shows I shouldn't rewatch in case I cringe a little but when we first got together with Benj 11 years ago we just watched Scrubs on a loop. I don't especially like the characters but the show itself, which is kinda weird for me (except Dr Cox. I love him)
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The Sandman : last show that blew my mind. Just love everything in it. Can't wait for S2. I had read some of the comics and loved it, too. Just realized that it's the second Neil Gaiman thing in this list (3 if we count that he wrote for Doctor Who lol) and I guess it says stuff about me too
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Pushing Daisies : I have loved the contrast between the whole death thing and the colourful and happy sets and stuff. This show is cute and dark and funny and I love it and I need to rewatch too when I can. (Also? Tall cutie that meddles with the dead and bakes awesome pies? did I use Ned as a template for my OC without realising ??)
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I don't think it counts as a show since it's an anime so it's a bonus but if you've been following me the last 6 months, you need to hear about Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood but not necessarily excluding 03. At all. Just watch it back to back. That'll do it. I love both.) (Yeah oddly enough I'm not crazy about the title character there but about THEM and of course you must have noticed)
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I tag @heirsoflilith @rancid-butter @qs63 @littleragondin @dairogo @musing-and-music @magipies @goneadrift @smoothshine if you want to do it !
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a-library-of-old · 1 year
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Hey! Same anon who requested marriage hc's! I loved them! I also have another. What if they had a kid? What kind of dad would Jack be? Would he be a good husband while his wife was pregnant? (I hope so.)
Ooooo welcome back!!! Like last time I will be doing gn reader tho so uh- magically made kid!!!
First off this kid is gonna be SO spoiled! Anything they want Jack's gonna get. Outfit, gifts, places, and anything else the kiddo could ask for
Another thing! He'll make sure they get the best of everything to because that's what they deserve in his head
So best schooling, food, doctors, and everything else all completely the best he can possibly get
If his kid is a nurse ryhme he's gonna be so conflicted cause he was one to!!!! But also? He was one to :(((( same if the child's got a fairy tale only he wasn't one ya know?
Now because this kid is the heir to his business he's gonna teach em young how to bake and what makes the perfect pie
The secret Horner family recipes and how to run the factory are all things the kids gonna need to learn soooo- hope they like bakin^^
I also saw a hc of Jack loving plums a borderline insane amount so he's at first gonna try and get the kid to like plums to but won't be to upset if the kiddo doesn't
He's a nightmare at parent teacher conferences to! I know I've said before he's a Karen when out and about so I think he will be for teachers to. Like the typa parent that thinks there kid can do absolutely *no* wrong
Granted anyone bullies the kiddo? He's gonna show the power of the unicorn horn to whatever kid did it doesn't matter how young
For more domestic sides though? I just think he'll do cute dad stuff all the time! And make sure you aren't always having to single handedly take care of the child or anything else like that
He'll read them bedtime stories, when their a lil bby he'll wear matching outfits, daddy daughter dances if it's a girl are a must! If it's a boy he'll do some usually dad boy son thing
Oh and lord helps ANYONE who wants to date his lil one, they are gonna get the stereotype 'don't hurt my kid' talk while he's holding some weapon or another
And if his kid wants to date someone? He teaches em about respect so fast and how to ask their parents and overall just how to be treated by their partner but also to treat their partner as well
He loves taking you guys on fun vacations to! Whatever version if Disneyland they have in the cannon? Season passes. Kid wants to go skiing for Christmas break? Flights booked and gear bought!
Overall Jack is just the best dad ever, and totally not because I have daddy issues and want him to be
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sibylsleaves · 2 years
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wip wednesday
I’m back!!! tagged by the lovely @hoediaz @hattalove & @rewritetheending to share a snippet of my wip. And actually I just wrote this with the express purpose of finally having something new to share lol. From my current WIP, which I guess I’m referring to as the Eddie Therapy Homework fic:
“Ah,” Hen says in that knowing way of hers. “I thought this might be coming.”
“Chim told you?”
Hen’s eyes twinkle. “He might’ve mentioned something about you two having a heart-to-heart. Told me to stock up on tissues for when it’s my turn.”
“Yeah, well, you know me,” Eddie deadpans, “I’m an emotional guy.”
Hen laughs. “You say that like it’s a joke, but I know you Diaz. There’s a lot of gooey feelings beneath that calm exterior. It’s nice when you’re able to let them out.”
Eddie huffs a laugh.
“Alright, so hit me,” Hen says. “Go ahead, tell me what makes me so great.”
She does a little vogue, and Eddie is hit with a familiar wave of affection for her. “You’re one of my best friends, Hen. From the minute I started at the 118 you welcomed me and made me feel like part of the team. And I’m so glad our kids are friends, too. With everything that’s happened to Chris in the last four years, I’m just really grateful that he has Denny and you and Karen to lean on.”
“Well, you know we love having Chris,” Hen says. “And you.”
“You’re also just one of the most brilliant, talented medics I’ve ever had the honor of working with,” Eddie says. “I mean it, Hen. Your instincts, the way you adapt to every situation, how deeply you care about each and every patient…it’s incredible. I know you’re going to be an amazing doctor.”
“Awww, Eddie.” Hen fakes wiping a tear, but Eddie can see her eyes are actually misting up.
“And I…” He takes a breath. The first part was the easy part. He knows Hen’s amazing, knows she’s one of the best people he’s ever had the good fortune to meet. That’s not hard to say. But this next part…it’s about Eddie, too. And that’s a little harder. “I just want you to know I admire you so much for deciding to go to medical school. It…I look at you and all that you’ve accomplished and it makes me believe that…that I can go after the things I want too. That it isn’t too late.”
She gives him a careful look, covering his hand with hers. “Eddie…you’re not thinking about another career change, are you?”
He shakes his head, laughing a little wetly. “God no. This job is what I’m meant to be doing. I just meant…I guess seeing you do this thing that you know is what supposed to do has made me think about how much of my own life I’ve lived for other people. Doing things because I felt like I had to for them or for some version of myself that didn’t really exist. I see you…becoming the person you’re meant to be and it makes me want to try to do that too.”
Hen is smiling at him now, a little teary. “Oh, Eddie. You know I think you’re amazing exactly as you are, but I know what you mean. And I want that for you, more than anything. To go after the things you want in life, even if they’re hard or you don’t quite know where they’ll take you.”
Eddie is crying now, and he doesn’t even fully understand why. 
Hen grips his hand tighter, her eyes locking with his. “You’ve only got once chance at this life, you know? Better make it count.”
Tagging @buckbuckbuck @mmtions @such-geekiness if you’d like to share. (and by the way, if you ever want me to tag you in this kind of stuff--wip wednesdays/seven sentence sundays--PLEASE feel free to send me an ask and let me know! I don’t always know who’s currently working on fic but I’d love to be able to tag some new people!)
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Seriously I just love the tema all being together again 🥰🥰🥰.
AHHHH so glad everything worked out :D.
Okay so! That's the end of my last little bits of live blogging, time for the. . .
REVIEW
I loved this episode!! It was a bit stressful with what Bobby was going through and a, but overall a pretty chill and happy finale :). Which, given the Lone Star finale, lol, we needed.
AND YES, I KNOW I'M WAAYYYYY LATE, I'M SORRY XDD. Honestly I knew what I wanted to say (though I did rewatch it to make sure I got everything) but I just kept putting off putting it down xD. But I'm here now, and I promise, I'm going to rewatch and finish liveblogging (ish) about The Good Doctor and write reviews for it and Lone Star, lol xD. Anyway!
The calls. We had a funny one, with a bit of a scare, a gross/scary one, and a sad one! What a great trifecta :'). Good tears for the selection but bad tears for. Yk, the selection xD. Like, the sad one mostly, lol. Still, they were really good and I enjoyed them, especially the last one :). Even if it was sad 😭.
Also this is probably gonna be a pretty short review lol, same for the others, I'm just having motivation struggles right now and there's other things I need spoons for xdd.
Hen and Karen!! Honestly I understand why Karen would feel that way (not personally but yk lol) but I'm glad she can move past it :)). AHHH I'M STILL SO GLAD ANTONIA CAN BE THERE THIS TIME THOUGH :'DDD!! It's just so nice that she can be there for the renewal of their vows :)), plus all the other new members of the family! Or even if they didn't invite the 118 the first time lol. If I'm remembering the timeline correctly Hen was already working there when they got married, but idk lol. I still don't know if they were close enough back then, though xD. And even so, the only one probably there at the time was Chimney. But anyway!! Such sweet scenes, and a great way to end the season :).
Maddie! So glad she's back to work :). I missed her so much, and now that May's going to college - AHH!! Good for May!!!! Anyway, we need another dispatcher, and who better than our girl :D. Glad to have her back 🥰🥰. Also, I still think we're gonna get Madney again 👀. Like, oh, yeah, respect them and all, blah blah blah I do I do. But like 👀. I'm just saying XD.
YESSSSSSSSSSS BUCK TAYLOR BREAKUP WHOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! I am so happy right now 🥰🥰🥰. And honestly? I don't hate her, so I'm glad it wasn't a super messy breakup. They just had a fight and realized they couldn't do this anymore, that it wasn't working. I'm so proud of Buck :)). He's already tried to drag the relationship out, this season even, and now he's doing the mature thing. I'm glad :)).
But I'm sure they're doing it to put him with Lucy and like NAHH 😭😭😭. Give me BUDDIEEE!! I don't deserve this 😭😭😭.
Also, season wise, really proud of Eddie :')). He's gone through a lot this season (as they all do every season, but you know, lol), but now he's finally going regularly to therapy and making steps to improve his mental health. Good for him :). Also, as always, Christopher is adorable 😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰. And the most awesome and supportive son ever 😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰. Like honestly that little "talking about it helps" scene? AGGHHHHH so amazing :'DD.
And Eddie going to visit Bobby and explain/lay it all out was really great :'). Honestly I wish he could've stayed for dinner lol.
But that brings me to my final point. Bobby.
My boooooyyyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. He is suffering SO. MUCH. Like, seriously, he was blaming himself for everything? Dang. I feel like he wasn't doing it the whole time, but it started to rack up by the end. He was like "wait, thinking about all this other stuff too" in the last bit of the season, but pushed the guilt aside earlier on. Oof. Just, oof. And AHHHHHHH THE POURING OUT OF THE ALCOHOL BOTTLEEEEE!!!! I like lost my mind lol. Although I think I didn't even realize he probably bought it to drink and then Eddie showed up and he changed his mind until I rewatched it to write this review lol, not that he just bought it to have the power and assurance of pouring it down the drain XDD. Although I was scared there for a moment, like, super scared XD, until I realized, and then I believe I thought the second option there lol. Anyway, I'm so glad he did (pour it out) and that he's feeling a bit better now 🥰🥰🥰. And AHH Bathena vacation!!! Honestly just good for them :')). They deserve it :p.
Overall, I really loved the episode. And the season! The character moments were great, it didn't need to be too epic or dramatic, it was just good and nice with a happy ending :). Like I said, everyone was great, the calls were great, and it just felt like a good season ending. For a wonderful season, or course :).
So yeah! I absolutely loved the episode. I'm excited for the next one - though this time it'll be a much longer wait lol. This has been my review for. . .
9-1-1: Season 5, Episode 18: Starting Over
It was a great episode, and it's been a great season. I'm so ready, and at the same time unprepared, for whatever comes after this. But I'm definitely excited. See you this fall for. . .
9-1-1: Season 6
Bye!!!!
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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years
Note
AAAAAH!!! Petition for the news people to show Chris's face on tv and Akio and his mom see and come to rescueee -🦖
(follows from this piece, in what I am calling the Chris Saves Himself AU)
CW: BBU, some vaguely dehumanizing language, references to child abuse and ableism
"Mom! Aki!" Emi's voice rises loud enough to filter right up the stairs and into Akio's room, audible right through his headphones while he listens to his playlist of Tristan's favorite songs and lays in bed.
Akio sniffs, sitting up and taking the headphones off, rubbing the tear tracks off his face. It's still light outside - he never knows what time it is anymore, not since he quit gymnastics. "Emi? Did you say something?"
"Yeah, you better get down here like right now! Right now!" The urgency in her voice sets his heart to beating faster and Akio pushes himself up, taking the stairs three-steps-to-a-jump. His mother is right behind him, coming out of her own room with her book still in hand, thumb marking her place.
"Are you okay, honey?" Aimi calls out. Somehow even though she doesn't skip any steps she beats Akio to the bottom. "Em? Emi?"
"I'm fine, I swear, just-... look at the TV!"
Akio and Aimi swing into the living room, finding Emi sitting on the couch, remote in hand, groaning in frustration.
"Damn it, they just cut way from his-... hold on, let's see if they cut back before this ends. You have got to see this."
"Just what have I got to see?" Aimi asks, frowning, walking up behind Emi and absentmindedly tucking a bit of hair behind her daughter's ear. Emi sort of ducks-pulls away, rolling her eyes. "I'm almost to the bit where the ship sinks, Em."
"I know, I know, don't mess with your reading time but-... but look!"
Akio's eyes scan the TV, reading the chyron - the little moving headline at the bottom - that says MYSTERY BOY FALLS FROM BALCONY IN GOVERNOR'S MANSION - IN HOSPITAL WITH SERIOUS INJURIES - POLICE LOOKING FOR CLUES TO IDENTITY - GOV. BRANCH CLAIMS LEGAL PURCHASE FROM WRU - WRU DENIES CULPABILITY...
Talking heads banter back and forth about the seriousness of the scandal, the lack of documents to prove any kind of veracity to the governor's claims.
The anchors start interviewing a woman with short, dark red hair with a cold smile that sends a chill down Akio's spine. Karen Renford, WRU Representative to the Media, reads the little nameplate beneath her as she speaks.
"Since when do you care about politics?" Akio asks, head tilted. "This is stupid. I don't care about any of this."
"WRU sponsors your team, Aki-"
"It's not my team anymore. I'm going back to my room."
He turns to leave, but feels Emi grab at his wrist, and when he looks back her black eyes are pleading. "Please, Aki. Please. Trust me, you will want to see this."
He sighs. Everything feels too heavy to add one more thing to his days right now. But Emi is his little sister, and... "Yeah, okay." He moves around the corner of the sectional and flops himself down on it. He's put on some weight since he quit gymnastics, the waistband of his jeans digging just a little into his stomach where he used to have to wear a belt.
He doesn't care. It's... actually really nice to not have to care. He kind of likes himself better this way.
If only he didn't have to be grieving his best friend's death to get there-
"There!" Emi hisses, and her nails dig hard into Akio's forearm, hard enough for him to wince. "There, Aki, fucking look!"
"Language, young lady-" Aimi starts, and then falls silent. When she whispers, "Nantekotta..." That's when Akio looks at the screen.
Where his dead best friend is very much alive in a hospital bed.
He hears a thump and jumps, turning to see his mother's book on the floor, fallen from suddenly numb fingers as she stares unblinking at the boy on the TV screen.
Akio looks back and swallows, hard, and then swallows again. Inside him there is a sudden burst of fight between the despair and anger he's been living in and a kind of awful, horrifying hope.
"Tris?" He whispers.
"I told you!" Emi says, still holding his forearm painfully. He doesn't pull away from her - he can feel her starting to shake right alongside him. His eyes flood with hot tears and he has to blink them away to focus on the screen.
"-are speaking with the boy, who appears to be a legitimate WRU product. A simple barcode scan was performed, and police have the pet's designation, Facility number, and basic identification number." Karen Renford's voice speaks in voiceover. "However, WRU has been unable to find in our own records at the Facility any record of the boy's existence or training. WRU has strict ethical protocols surrounding the age of accepted trainees who apply, and it's increasingly clear that none of our Facilities would have taken on this individual, especially not our flagship Facility here in Berras-"
Akio hears none of this.
Instead, he hears only a rushing as loud as a waterfall filling his ears, the sound of his own blood pulsing through his veins as his breaths go shallow and gasping.
Tris is right there.
He's alive and he's right there.
He's sitting in a hospital bed, cringing back from the doctors speaking to him, looking at them with wide, terrified eyes. There are bruises around his neck like someone-... bit him, or something. His arms are bruised, wrists rubbed red in circles. He doesn't sway or rock or tap like Tristan Higgs, he sits perfectly, hauntingly still.
But it's Tris.
It's him.
"He's alive," Akio says, and his voice is strangled. "Tris is alive, he's alive, but he's-... he was-"
His mother's hand rests on his shoulder and Akio tenses at the firey rage he feels right through the tension in her fingers. "His aunt," Aimi says with a voice that cuts through bone. "His aunt told us he was dead."
"She said he-... you know... did the thing. To himself," Emi says, looking nervously sideways at Akio. "That he ran away and they found him."
"He told me she took away all his stuff and stopped giving him his meds and then she took his phone... why would she say all that if he was alive the whole time, Mom?" Akio looks back up at Aimi, and she looks back down at him.
He is terrified of her, in that moment. Scared of her the way you are scared of a bear rushing at you, knowing that you aren't much more than a matchstick in its way. But he also wants - needs - her to tell him everything is going to be fine.
Instead, she pulls her hand back off his arm and turns to leave the room. She murmurs to herself in a rapid-fire string of Japanese even Akio isn't quite keeping up with, and he jumps up to follow her, Emi on his heels.
"Mom? Mom, what are you doing? Mom, answer me-"
"Mom?"
They manage to catch up to her in the den, where she's picked up her cell phone still charging, plugged into the wall, and dialed a number.
"Mom-"
Aimi holds up one finger without looking at him, phone to her ear, and Akio's voice cuts off immediately.
"Yes, hello," She says to whoever picks up. "My name is Aimi Nakamura and I am calling about the boy found in the governor's mansion today. I believe I can tell you who he is." She pauses. "Who he really is."
Another pause.
"Yes, I'll wait."
Yet another pause. Akio and Emi stay in the doorway, staring at her in baffled confusion. Neither of them dares to speak when her face looks this way. They know better than that.
Finally, Aimi takes another breath. "Yes. Thank you. Hello, Detective... Davis. Right. My name is Aimi Nakamura." She rattles off her phone number and address when she is asked for them without hesitating. "Yes, as I said-... as I said to whoever answered the phone, I know who the boy in the governor's mansion is. I have absolutely no doubt... Yes. His real name is Tristan Paul Higgs. He was born-... oh, yes, sorry. I can slow down. His birthday is March 6th... yes. I don't know his social security number entirely but I know the last four digits were 6654... his mother and I were close friends. Veronica Botham Higgs - Ronnie. She was murdered, with her husband, it was a double-... oh, you remember? Tristan survived it. Custody went to his only surviving relative, Joanne Botham..."
Aimi swallows, and Akio feels Emi's hand seek his out and squeezes it tightly, reassuringly, as their mother's steel comes flashing to the surface underneath her usual deceptive tranquility.
"Joanne Botham works for WRU. Her nephew lost his family and was given to her. And now, more than a year after she told us he was dead, he falls out a window with a WRU barcode. I think you see where I'm going with this, detective."
Another long silence.
"Yes. I need about an hour and a half. Is that too long? Perfect."
She hangs up, and turns to look at Akio and his little sister. There is a startling brightness to her that makes Akio think she's feeling exactly what he is - grief and horror and rage and that awful swell of hope.
Maybe it really was just a horrible mistake.
Maybe he's never been dead.
Maybe he's still breathing.
"Put your shoes on," Aimi says in a flat voice. "We are going to meet Detective Davis at the hospital where Tris is."
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four-rabbit · 3 years
Text
Here lies Roman García Lopez
Roman is not dead, calm down
This is just a small oneshot from the ghost au about Roman coming out as trans to Remus when they were teenagers.
Warnings: swearing, hospitals, self-deprecation, misgender, mentions of transphobia, talks of death
Obs: in some descriptions I'll be refering to Remus and Roman with she/her pronouns, but thats specifically when I'm describing their thoughts and they are referring to themselves or each other with those pronouns, since Remus didn't know he was trans here and Roman is coming out. When I'm not describing their thoughts I'll be referring to them solely by he/him pronouns.
If you tag this as r*mrom I'll punch you
The twins used to be best friends. They would play in the backyard and braid each other's hair and laugh and cry and almost forget all the ways that the world was cold and merciless.
So so merciless.
The Duke analyzed his nails as if they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen and the silence was so dense it could be cut with a knife. He wanted to talk, he really wanted to. He wanted to talk about the last movie he watched and gossip about their classmates and make jokes that were questionable to say the least and wanted to see her sister laugh and look alive again. But what would she say? At this point, what did they have in common? What could she do? Open her mouth just to throw all that filthy that was inside her mind at her poor sister? Talk about her life and about how she was a disgusting piece of garbage? Ruin those few hours that they had together? Yeah, as their mother would always say, if you have nothing nice to say just shut up. 
The Duke felt like he never had anything nice to say.
"How is school going?" The one in the hospital bed started. Panic dominated The Duke's eyes and he didn't move for a good ten seconds, looking like he wasn't even breathing until he shrugged.
"As shitty as always, you know. The usual stuff" 
"I wish I was there" The Princess sighed.
"Nah, you don't, it's the most boring thing ever, I got a shitton of homework and also tomorrow I got a fucking chemistry test and I don't even know if I'm going to study, you got it easy, dude" as soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it "No, I'm kidding, that was stupid, this sucks too I know, but if I could I would just leave school, I mean who cares?"
"You can't do that. School is important"
 The Duke didn't say anything. He had a lot of answers but none of them were nice. And he wanted to be nice to The Princess, at least. He had lost everybody else, even Virgil, even Virgil, she was not going to lose her sister too. 
"Why did you call me?" Finally said.
"What?"
"Dad said that you wanted to talk to me. Specifically. Why?" 
"I have to ask you for a favor"
"What is it? Yes, I can get you drugs" The Princess raised an eyebrow at his brother.
"What? I'm sure it would make the hospital more interesting, no judgments."
"No. No, it's not that" he was so tense and that was stressing the Duke out. He closed his mouth shut because when he was nervous he rambled and when he rambled he always ended up saying the worst possible things. The Princess took a breath as if it was a battle to take the words out of his throat.
"I'm afraid that I'm going to die"
"A lot of people are" said before he could contain himself. That should have earned at least a chuckle from the Princess but he didn't make a sound.
"No. No. I mean- what I mean is…" he decided to just rip it off like a band aid "I feel like I’m going to die in a few days. I think-"
"Bullshit!" The Duke snapped without warning, startling his brother. "You have no fucking right to say that!" Is it really that easy to make him cry?
"It's true! I- I can feel it, okay? Death is following me"
"Death has always followed you, you stupid fuck, you're like a godamn death magnet!"
"Yeah but it's different now, I- look, how I know doesn't matter, I need you to do something for-"
"I'm not doing shit for you!" Ok that's a lot of emotion for someone who was completely numb the entire week, Duke's body has grown unused to feelings apparently, as he was shaking and burning and screaming and crying and wanting to curl up in a ball and die.
"Just listen-"
"Fuck you!" The Duke covered his ear to show that he wasn't going to listen but also suddenly because everything was too much. Too much noise, too much light, too much, too much. "I'm going to tell your doctor and she's going to say that's bullshit because that's bullshit you can't just die!" Yelled at the top of his lungs. She couldn't lose her sister, no, no, everyone but her.
"I need you to change my name in my gravestone!" said as loudly as his brother, sitting up. That took The Duke by surprise and he uncovered his ears in confusion.
"What?"
"When I die, mom and dad will pay for a gravestone and its going to have a name on it" 
"You're not-"
"Fucking listen to me! I don't want to die too, for fucks sake, but I need to be ready when it happens!" The Princess finally snapped in his despair to be listened to. His brother stopped and seemed to consider his options until, slowly, sat down again.
"What do you mean, [...]?" he said his brother's deadname.
"Exactly that. That name. It's not my name"
"Are you high?"
"Look" he ran his hand through his hair, frustrated "I had a lot of time to think. I- I did some research and… I- I'm not a girl" The Duke didn't say anything. For once in his life he had no idea what to say. "Yeah. I've always felt like that. Like something was… off. Wrong. That someone made a mistake when-" he gestured toward his body "I'm not telling mom and dad. They wouldn't understand, they never understand shit. But I know you will, sister"
"Wait, hold the fuck up, what are you saying? If you're not a girl, what the fuck are you then?" The Princess swallowed, scared to say it out loud. There would be no coming back if he did it. He raised his hand to compliment the teenager in front of him, shaking from head to toe.
"I'm- Roman. Nice to meet you." he was crying already, trying to not let his voice fail him "I'm your brother, I'm a trans man and I don't want to die just to be remembered by the wrong name"
Trans man. Trans. A word that was known but still sounded like a secret. Forbidden. 
The Duke looked at his brother's hand. Then he looked at his face, with his long hair and tears and all that fear in his eyes. 
And he understood, that was what scared him the most. 
"Something was off. Something was wrong. Someone made a mistake"
"I don't want to be remembered by the wrong name"
He understood every single word on a deep personal level, he knew that despair, that fear.
He shaked his brother's hand, who immediately melted in relief.
"Roman. You're going to live." Said with that same caring voice that he used when they were kids and Roman had nightmares and he would sing lullabies completely out of tune until his brother fell asleep, delicately cleaning his brother's tears. “You're going to live and you're going to make sure that mom and dad remember you right. I promise"
"But what if I-"
"No! No" The Duke interrupted, not allowing his brother to finish that phrase, not again. "You know what. You're coming with me" announced, starting to look through the closet for some clothes his brother could use.
"... what?"
"We are leaving this shithole" 
"I can't leave the hospital [...]!" deadname. 
"I don't want to be remembered by the wrong name"
The Duke closed his eyes and when he turned back to his brother he was smiling almost maniacally.
"Yes, you can" he found some sweater pants and a black tshirt "Here, put this on. This place is fucking you up. Mom is fucking you up, this is her fault. We are going out and you're going to live. You're going to live" an idea came to his mind "Do you want to cut your hair?" Roman looked at the clothes on his hands. Then at the teenager looking at him full of expectation. Deep down Roman knew. Staying there was not helping. It was making things worse, he knew even deeper down. And if he was dying he wanted to die by his sister's side.
"Yes. I want to cut my hair" admitted. He didn't hate his long hair, it was pretty and brushing it was relaxing. But he hated how it made everyone think he was a girl. "But mom will be pissed"
"What doesn't piss that woman off?" Exclaimed exasperated and Roman opened the smallest grin.
"Yesterday they gave me strawberry juice instead of orange juice and she threw an entire fucking tantrum"
"Exactly. If she was a little bit whiter she would be a textbook Karen" that made Roman giggle.
"She would. Are we actually doing this?"
"Of course we're! Now get ready, Princes- Princey" Roman smiled widely.
"I like Princey"
"I thought you would" Roman got dressed and The Duke gave him his black hoodie.
"So you won't get recognized" explained.
"I'm sure nobody is going to try to arrest me if they see me sneaking out, thank you very much. Also what was the last time you washed this? It smells like shit" actually Roman would never comment on it out loud but his sister was generally a mess. With hair that wasn't brushed in days and wasn't washed in an even longer time, smudged make up all over her face and dirty baggy clothes. If only he had connected the dots before it was too late.
"I'm sure you'll survive" replied sharply, opening the door.
The hoodie didn't help.
" What are you doing here Ms. Garcia? Do you want anything?" The first nurse that saw them was quick to ask. 
"Ahn…" The Duke opened his mouth to explain. Then close it again.
"I just wanted to take some air, my sister came to visit me and we thought it would be cool to go outside real quick" Roman came to rescue him.
"Your sister…" slowly her gaze went to the other teenager "Oh, you. I'm not sure I can allow that. Not without your mother's permission" 
"You can come with us, then! My mom wouldn't like to know that you're keeping me stuck in my room. Like a prisoner" the nurse looked worried. Their mom had a reputation around the hospital and it wasn't a good one.
"Just five minutes, okay?"
"Wonderful!" Roman winked in his brother's direction, who opened a smile and they were both guided toward the front of the hospital, where there was a small decorative garden. 
"What now?" The Duke whispered, gesturing toward the nurse with his head, she was way too close. Roman looked around and his eyes stopped at one specific point. 
"There"
"What?"
"There's a cat"
"I don't see anything"
"Its because its not alive" the animals souls were the easiest to attract and even control. "Her" Roman said in an almost sing-song voice. The cat tilted its head, an empty hole in the place where its left eye was supposed to be and, without warning, threw itself at the nurse, emitting a meow that from her perspective came out of thin air and made the poor woman scream in surprise.
"Now!" And Roman started running. His brother only stopped to giggle before running too. When she noticed that the kids were missing they were already far away. 
"Fuck, that was fun!" Roman exclaimed as he recovered from the run, still breathing with some difficulty. His brother enjoyed the feeling for a little longer. He almost felt alive for a minute. 
"Of course it was, it was my idea"
"I mean I was the one who fooled the nurse, all you did was stutter"
"Oh, shut up. It's not my fault everyone likes you best"
"Everyone is stupid. You're the cooler twin"
"Don't you come at me with your compliments!" Roman laughed, a genuinely laugh that filled his brother with happiness and warmth. 
"Right. What do we do now? I'm still totally down for that haircut"
"Well first of all we're going to steal some scissors because I'm totally broke-"
"Oh my god!" Roman exclaimed in disbelief "My own sister! Wanting to make me a criminal!"
If you get to be brother why do I have to be sister?
Remus ignored that thought for the time being. 
"You're not going to regret it! We can steal some chocolate too!" replied, putting his arm around his brother's shoulders. Roman rolled his eyes.
"Oh my life would be so dull without you" The one that would call himself Remus in the future smiled. And I wouldn't be alive without you, thought to himself.
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solvskrift · 3 years
Text
fic: they don't turn to dust (or fade away) (also on ao3)
Peter figured the worst thing about losing his sight would have been...losing his sight. It isn't. Whumptober Prompt #7: My Spidey-Sense is Tingling | numbness + blindness
Peter was pretty sure he was dead. Or dying. Or had gotten into a fight with a twenty-storey building. That had happened a couple of times. Well, the second time he hadn’t really had anything to do with it, he was just there and if it hadn’t been for the leaking gas line (and the pretzel vendor who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time) he—
He was getting off track. Where was he? Oh yeah – dying. On some sort of fluffy soft surface. Which unfortunately wasn’t doing much to help his raging headache or the feeling that an hippo was sitting on his chest. He tried to move and immediately regretted it. His head throbbed like an overgrown heart and he groaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
A hand pushed at his shoulder, keeping him still.
“May?” Peter mumbled groggily.
“Sorry, kid, you’re stuck with the slightly less pretty one out of the two of us, she’ll have to get in line later to kick your ass.”
Mr. Stark.
Right. May was upstate for the week, and Karen had called Mr. Stark right before—
Right before he’d passed out from the body-wracking, mind-numbing pain of whatever acid slime (goo? paste?) those goons had thrown all over him. It had practically melted the mask right off of his face before he could tear it away.
“Where are we?”
“Columbia Presbyterian. It was closer to the docks, where - you know, it’s funny - I specifically remembering telling you not to go because Rhodey had it covered.”
Peter swallowed. “I’m sorry…I— ” He broke off, coughing. His throat was like sandpaper.
Mr. Stark sighed. A second later there was a glass at Peter’s lips and he gratefully gulped down the cool water.
“Look, just…don’t worry, alright?” said Mr. Stark in a way that instantaneously made Peter begin to worry. “I’m having you transferred over to the tower, I’ve got better facilities there, best doctors in the world flying in right now—”
Best doctors for what?
Peter tried to sit up again and willed his eyes to open. Which was the exact moment his brain caught up with him and he realized with a sickening jolt that his eyes were open.
“Mr. Stark,” Peter asked. “Why can’t I see?”
----
This was fine. He could do this. This happened to people all the time, right?
Well, maybe not this exact situation. But minus the supervillain henchmen and battles between good and evil and the surreal plot twist of moving into Stark Tower, plenty of people had accidents and woke up to find out they were blind or paralyzed or had lost a limb.
People adjusted. Peter would adjust.
Besides he was only temporarily blind. That’s what the doctors kept trying to tell him. The acid hadn’t damaged his skin too awful bad – he probably wouldn’t even have scars. It was just that eyes…they were fragile, they said. Sensitive. Stuff like that took longer to heal.
His eyes would mend.
That’s what Tony – Mr. Stark – kept saying, too. They’ll heal. No problem. You’ll be okay.
Peter had convinced him not to tell Aunt May yet. She had two days left of her trip, Peter was fine, and she would only end up worrying and racing home when there was nothing she could do. She’d find out soon enough anyway, might as well let her enjoy herself while she could…
Peter shuffled towards the bathroom. They had finally let him out of the medical wing after three days and Tony had set him up in rooms just a floor below his and Pepper’s. It was a relief to be away from the sterile equipment and smell of antiseptic, but it meant that he had to map out a brand new space all over again. Despite how slow he was moving, hands stretched out in front of him, Peter still managed to slam his toe into the foot of the dresser and gave a sharp yelp. He sat down heavily on the floor, fumbling for his foot.
Every throb of his toe seemed to push another dose of panic through his veins until the fear made his hands shake.
Peter swore and slammed his fist into the floor.
You’ll be okay.
----
The real kicker was that he should have been able to rely on all his other senses.
More precisely, That Other Sense.
The one that set off the tingle in the back of his skull and let him know intuitively what the danger was and where it was coming from. Touch and smell and hearing were great, sure – he could tell when Happy was baking cookies or when the elevator dinged to deposit someone near his rooms. Awesome. Terrific.
But he should have been able to maneuver around any building, swing from any traffic light, crawl up any high-rise in the city even without his eyes, and he couldn’t.
It was all off. Jumbled and twisted and warped, and he couldn’t trust it. It wasn’t exactly something you could find in a medical textbook, either – there wasn’t a diagnosis for Peter Parker’s Spidey-Sense Going Numb. One of the doctors made a valiant attempt anyway and said the best he could figure it might have had to do with Peter’s eyes and swelling and general trauma to the head or – well – Peter had tuned him out after that. It didn’t matter, in the end. Not really.
All Peter could think was that it might not ever come back.
He had Karen and the suit he’d gotten from Mr. Stark, but it wasn’t the same. Wouldn’t ever be enough. And it wasn’t the best idea to wear that one at the moment, anyhow.
Karen would tell Mr. Stark where he was.
Peter hadn’t been expressly forbid from the rooftop of this specific office building, but it had probably been implied in his instructions not to leave Stark Tower by himself. It wasn’t like he’d gone that far, he just had to check.
He had to see if he could still do it. Still be Spider-Man. Maybe all it would take to jumpstart that sixth sense of his was getting back in the saddle. Making his mind work for it, and remember.
Peter nudged the toes of his old suit (the one that didn’t have an incriminating A.I. programmed into it) up to what he could tell was the edge of the roof, took a deep breath, and shot a web out into the open air as he stepped off the side of the building.
----
“Do you have any clue what could have happened if I hadn’t been the one to find you?” Mr. Stark ranted.
He wasn’t yelling (not really, not yet) but hell if it didn’t feel like it.
“Forget about the fact that you could have broken every goddamn bone in your body, or how I would have had to tell your aunt I completely fucked up this whole babysitting gig – sorry, May, I looked away for two seconds and Peter stepped off the first roof he could find and slammed straight into a mile-high billboard—”
Despite how very clearly pissed off he was, the wet rag dabbing at the cut on Peter’s forehead was surprisingly gentle.
“—wouldn’t even have been able to tell her with a straight face that it was a billboard for Crystal Clear Corrective Lenses—”
A pack of ice was pressed into his hand, and Mr. Stark guided him to hold it against the growing bump on his forehead.
“—you realize anybody could have walked up and taken your mask off if you’d been knocked out cold? I guess I should be grateful for that egg on your head, maybe it’ll recalibrate your self-preservation skills…”
Peter sat there, letting Mr. Stark’s frustration wash over him. He felt numb.
Because Mr. Stark was right, he did need a babysitter now. He hadn’t been able to do it on his own after all. He would never be Spider-Man again. He had no vision, no warning in his head going off telling him what to hit, where to go. No powers…
No powers that were good for anything, anyway.
He felt…pathetic.
Useless.
This is what he had wanted before, wasn’t it? Not to have to be Spider-Man? To let someone else make the hard calls and tough decisions? Now he didn’t have to worry about it, about any of it. He could go back to being just…him. Peter Parker.
Peter’s breath hitched. The corners of his eyes started to burn.
“Hey…” Tony said, his tone suddenly losing its edge.
Peter let the hand holding the ice to his forehead fall slowly to his lap. He blinked his unseeing eyes and swallowed.
“I’m never gonna be able to see again, am I?” he whispered.
There was a beat of silence, then Tony said. “Of course you will. Come on, Eeyore, I’ve told you—”
“What if I don’t? What if I don’t get better?”
Peter sucked in another shuddering breath. The last thing he needed on top of everything was to fall apart in front of Mr. Stark, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Mortified, he felt the tears spill over, stinging his ruined eyes.
“Hey,” Tony said again. “Shit…”
Peter swiped quickly at his face with his sleeve, but a warm hand touched his neck.
“C’mere.”
And then a pair of arms went around him, strong and solid.
Something inside Peter snapped and before he knew it, before he could get a handle on himself, he was sobbing his pent-up grief and terror into Tony’s chest, his fists gripping the soft shirt on either side of his arc reactor.
Peter couldn’t see the glow of it, but it was a comforting presence all the same.
“I’m – sorry,” Peter forced out, or tried to. He wasn’t certain it had sounded like anything resembling English around his hitching sobs.
Tony’s hand found the back of his head, a reassuring weight. Just holding him.
“It’s gonna be alright. You hear me?” Tony rested his chin on Peter’s hair. “You’re going to be okay.”
Peter pressed his forehead to the little circle of metal that had saved Tony’s life. Kept him alive for so long. Peter knew the story of why he had needed it in the first place – everyone did – and it occurred to him that Tony knew what he was talking about. That he probably understood exactly what was going on in Peter’s head.
The words were anything but empty, and for the first time since waking up in darkness, Peter thought he might be able to believe them.
You’re going to be okay.
“I promise.”
Tony held him and murmured quiet reassurances, until all his tears had dried up.
Peter let him, and listened.
He breathed.
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clownsgobeepbeep · 2 years
Note
What does Duncan think of the other slashers?
@grodygabe ‘cause some of yours are here​
Gisela: Loooooves Gisela. She seems like one of the slashers that Duncan loves to hang around, whether Leilah likes it or not. She has cats. She’s a witchy lady and she’s pretty cool. He likes her, he’d love introducing her to so many new things.
Apophis: I’m sure he’s going to specifically meet this guy through Leilah, unless Apophis ends up coming to him first. I’m sure he’d like Apophis, love to hang out with the guy. The snake man does certain things with Leilah so any dad jokes coming from him would have Duncan giving Apophis real serious looks. But other than that...Duncan would like him, he’d like hanging out with him, gossiping a bit, etc.
Irene: Most may dislike Irene. Most might call her...a Karen...but Duncan...would also call her a Karen, but affectionately? As unbelievable as it sounds, Duncan wouldn’t dislike Irene. He’d hang out with her. He’ll listen to her. You want to give a performance? It can’t be as bad as Adam’s shitty jokes so please do, he’ll give pointers; he did acting in middle and high school before. Maybe Irene won’t care but eh. Duncan would like Irene. She’s like an aunt.
Blair: N/A yet 
Rachel and Lucky: I think he would like Rachel. Yeah she’s got this friend of hers but...that won’t stop him from trying to befriend Rachel, she seems like she needs a friend. I’m sure he’d provide donuts for Lucky, hopefully that works. He will not stop trying, he will make Rachel and Lucky his damn friends.
Creature: Ooooh a dog- oh it bites
Andre: Mmmm. Duncan would try to befriend Andre at first and I’m sure the doctor would act...nice, like with Apophis. However, Duncan may act naive and such but, he’s not stupid. He’s a Ghostface. Comes to realize he doesn’t like him, so he would not fuck with him. He wouldn’t be afraid of him, at first. It’d takek some time for that to happen, Andre needs to do something to him. Either way, Andre is not a friend. No donuts for you, ass.
Leilah: Oh my god that’s his ma right there X3 Okay okay before any of that stuff happens, he will like Leilah already. He’ll think she’s so fucking cool holy crap another Ghostface and she’s amazing. He just has to annoy her by asking her so many questions, he wants to know all about her. After all that, that is his ma. Like, Leilah is one of his favorite people, he’d do anything for her.
Adam: Oh my god another Ghostface?!?1 Aaahh!?!?! Oh, wait, he’s annoying as fuck. Oh geez, please no, I did not think I could ever be annoyed by another human being. He’s going to have a love-hate relationship with Adam for sure, not tolerating him a fuckin’ bit, but I can say that Duncan would try to hold in a laugh if Adam makes a really good joke X3 Don’t worry he’ll eventually warm up to him, fuck around and be McStupid with the man. Guess he’s not such a bad guy after all
Akane: FRIEND. YES. Okay, he won’t get all fucking crazy, but he would want to try to be friends with Akane. She clearly has dealt with shit, but who hasn’t. Point is, she needs a friend and he has already asked the Eldricths for a box of donuts to share with her. I can’t exactly say his thoughts on her just yet, I’d have to first see how she reacts to him, considering how she feels towards certain people
Lady Oni: Grandma? Grandma. Yes. Duncan will not want to fight Lady Oni, he’s just a lil guy. He just wants friends. But he wants her as a grandma, he never really got a chance to meet his grandparents from what I have planned out right now. But he will attempt to befriend her, we don’t have to fight everybody, you can talk about your problems. I will hear you out, and I will provide donuts.
Philip: N/A, unless I decide to do...something
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maybeimamuppet · 3 years
Text
someone gets hurt
“Janis! Janis!” Cady calls, rushing up to her at the end of the school day.
“Babe, you good?” Janis asks worriedly as her girlfriend barrels into her.
Cady nods rapidly. “Yes! Principal Duvall just told me I’m the valedictorian!”
Janis gasps, wrapping her in a hug. “You are? Oh my god, baby! That’s great! I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Cady giggles from in her embrace. “Are you staying to paint today?”
“Yeah, you want to come?” Janis asks, plotting in her head. Cady has worked so hard this year, she deserves to be valedictorian, arbitrary as the title is. Janis should do something.
“Always,” Cady grins, leaning up for a kiss and taking her hand to lead them to the art rooms. “How is Damian?”
“He’s fine, it’s just a sprain. Texted me earlier high off his ass on painkillers though, that was funny,” Janis chuckles. “Said there was a dragon in his mashed potatoes.”
“Janis! Don’t laugh at him, you know he has a phobia of broken bones. He’s lucky it was just a sprain. Poor guy,” Cady chides.
“He fell down the stairs! I’m allowed to laugh,” Janis defends.
They’d decided to have lunch in the auditorium today, just for fun. Damian had finished eating early and showed off some complicated choreography from his college audition cuts. He’d absolutely nailed them, but during his bows and basking in the applause of his friends, had fallen down the stairs and sprained his foot. He’d fallen into a panic attack, thinking he had broken it, and was taken to the hospital almost immediately.
“He’s your best friend! I’m gonna tell him you laughed,” Cady threatens.
Janis snorts. “You little narc. Go ahead, he laughed at me when I broke my tailbone when we went roller skating.”
“Hmph. Who are you texting?”
Janis had pulled out her phone to text Regina. She loves throwing parties and giving gifts, she might have some ideas for something Janis could do to surprise Cady.
“Uh, my mom. I actually can’t stay today, uhm... Jules is... sick. I have to go help my mom take care of her,” Janis lies through her teeth.
“Oh. Okay. Do you need me to get her anything?” Cady asks, miraculously not having noticed. She struggles reading people sometimes.
“No, don’t worry about it, baby. It’s just a cold, but she gets really whiny and stuff whenever she’s sick,” Janis explains. That’s true, at least.
“Poor thing. Tell her I hope she feels better soon. I’m going to go visit Damian,” Cady says, popping up on her tippy toes to kiss her goodbye.
“Okay, baby. Tell him I said hi,” Janis responds, kissing her back. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Good luck,” Cady says back.
“Thanks,” Janis chuckles.
————-
“Hi, Dame,” Cady says sadly as she knocks on the door of his hospital room.
“Hey, Cads!” Damian says.
Cady chuckles as she comes to sit by his bed. “You sound better.”
“I got, like, hella painkillers a while ago. Went on some fun daydreams,” Damian replies. “Not high anymore though.”
“Good, I don’t know if I could handle you all hopped up,” Cady giggles. “Janis said you texted her something about a dragon in your mashed potatoes while she was in math class.”
“I did? Oh god, she’s never gonna let me live that down,” Damian sighs. “Oh well.”
“I’ll make her go easy on you,” Cady says confidently, pulling out an activity book she had made during study hall. “I made this for you. I know it’s a little childish, but I figured you might want something to do.”
“Aww! Thanks, Caddy. Ooh, connect the dots,” Damian responds as he flips through it. “What’s the matter?”
Cady turns from where she’s standing, frowning as she looks out the window. His view goes across the street, looking over a coffee shop. Janis lied? She’s in the shop, sitting with... Regina George. Hm. They’re laughing at something.
“Huh? Oh, nothing, don’t worry about it,” Cady says through grit teeth, coming back  to his side and trying to hide her seething jealousy. He doesn’t need that right now. “So, how long are you stuck in here?”
“I get out tonight, once they’re totally sure I’m not reacting to anything they’ve given me,” Damian replies. “I’m not going to be in school for about a week, though. I’m not supposed to walk even with crutches until then.”
“You poor thing,” Cady responds as she rolls her shoulders to get rid of the tension.  “I’ll visit you as much as I can, but I just got a huge English project that’s gonna take me a while.”
Damian pats her hand comfortingly. “I get it, Cads, don’t worry about it. I have this cool book to work on.”
Cady chuckles. “I’ll send other people to come keep you company on the days I can’t. And you have Pippa in the meantime.”
Damian laughs outright at that. His french bulldog doesn’t make a great caregiver. “Thanks, little slice.”
“Anytime.”
—————
“So how was Julie?” Cady asks during her daily morning meet-up with Janis on Monday. She wants to hear what Janis has to say, now that she knows she lied.
Janis doesn’t even look up from her phone, tapping away texts to... someone. Probably Regina. “Hm? Oh, she was fine, thanks. Just needed a rest. How was Damian?”
“He was fine,” Cady huffs. Janis had lied again. Janis hums noncommittally. “He went on a quest to fight dragons with a fairy princess and took me. I was an elf. You should really come next time. He’s a wizard, you know. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. The doctor even had an enchanted sword.”
“Good for him,” Janis replies, having taken in nothing. The bell rings then, making them both jump. “Oh shit. Have a good day, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Cady responds, blinking in surprise at the quick kiss pressed to her lips before Janis runs to class. What the hell is going on with her?
-
Janis continues acting oddly into the next day. She’s not at lunch on Tuesday, and neither is Regina. Cady plops her tray of meatloaf on the table and sits down with a huff, startling Gretchen and Karen.
“You okay, Cady?” Gretchen asks worriedly. “You look tense.”
Cady stabs her meatloaf so hard that a few of the tines snap off her plastic fork. “Peachy. Has Regina told you guys anything? About what she’s been up to lately? Janis has been acting so weird, and I think Regina is part of it.”
“Um, no,” Karen lies. Regina had told them the plan to surprise Cady, so they actually knew everything. They had been sworn to secrecy.
“Yeah, we don’t know anything,” Gretchen piggybacks. “How has Janis been acting weird?”
“She... she lied to me,” Cady answers, realizing this may be more serious than she had originally thought. “I got chosen as valedictorian, I thought maybe we could go have dinner or something to celebrate after we visited Damian, but she said her sister was sick. But she wasn’t, Janis was in the coffee shop with Regina.”
“With Regina? Are you sure?” Karen responds. “Regina was with us Friday. And they still, like, totally aren’t friends. X emoji.”
“It was definitely Janis, at least,” Cady says sadly. “I guess it might not have been Regina. But how many other platinum blondes that wear full designer outfits would Janis know? Maybe it was before you guys hung out.”
“That is totally strange,” Gretchen responds, anxious about lying. She tries to change the subject quickly. “Has Janis done anything else weird?”
Cady takes the bait. “She wouldn’t stop texting yesterday, or this morning. I don’t know who she was talking to, but she didn’t even listen to me. I made up some story about Damian and I fighting dragons and she just said ‘good for him’.”
“Dragons? That’s so fetch,” Karen responds. “I want to meet a dragon. It’s one of my life goals, sunrise emoji.”
“Karen, sweetie, no. She said she made it up, remember? Dragons aren’t real,” Gretchen says quietly, squeezing her hand.
“That’s not fetch,” Karen huffs, going quiet.
“I know, sweetie. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much, Cady,” Gretchen says as she tries to comfort her girlfriend. “Janis is, like, head over heels for you. It’ll work out.”
“It better,” Cady grumbles. “Oh, hey, can you guys pop in to see Damian after school? Just for a little while, make sure he’s okay? I told him I’d have people drop by on days I couldn’t go see him.”
“Why can’t you go?” Gretchen asks, genuinely curious.
“I got this English project Friday, I have to work on it. I’m supposed to pick a career I want in the future and make a presentation about it, and it has to be five minutes long! I don’t even know what I want to do for a job,” Cady sighs.
“You can do it, Cady, you’re super smart,” Karen pipes up again. “Notebook emoji. But, like, shrug emoji, would Damian even want to see us?”
“Why wouldn’t he want to see you? He really likes you guys now. You’re not mean to him or Janis anymore, he doesn’t have anything against you guys anymore,” Cady says sadly. “You guys don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but he’d love to see you. You’re his friends.”
Of course we’ll go, we don’t have anything going on,” Gretchen responds. They need to fill him in on the plan, anyway.
“Oh, thank you,” Cady breathes with relief. “I owe you one.”
“It’s fine, Cady. Good luck with your project,” Gretchen says.
“Ugh,” Cady grumbles at the reminder, slamming her head into the table.
————-
By Wednesday afternoon, Cady is at her wits end. She hasn’t slept in two days researching for her project, and Janis still won’t pay attention to her. She’d gotten confirmation that it had been Regina with Janis at the coffee shop, so Gretchen and Karen had also lied to her face.
She heads to the art rooms after school to watch Janis paint, needing a break from her own thoughts. Even if she is a bit angry with Janis. Maybe this will patch things up.
Cady loves watching Janis paint. She loves the cute way her brow furrows and her tongue pokes out to the side whenever she tries to focus, the way every stroke of the brush seems to have a purpose. Janis can create gorgeous scenes just from her mind, as if the brush in her hand is simply an extension of her imagination. Cady loves watching a few simple sketches or swipes of her paintbrush turn to incredible works of art.
Cady’s tried to paint with her a few times, only succeeding in creating a blotchy mess of colors and a few vague shapes, but Janis always cheered her on and pointed out the things she had done well. Cady decided she likes watching Janis paint more than doing it herself, but they have painting mini-dates from time to time that they both enjoy immensely.
She opens the door quietly when she finally reaches the classroom, in hopes of surprising her girlfriend. She winds up getting the surprise herself, finding none other than Regina talking to Janis. Again. Regina is sitting haughtily on the counter, facing Cady but not looking at her. There’s a strangely excited glint in her eyes. Janis is leaning against a desk facing Regina, so her back is to Cady.
They’re awfully close together, Cady thinks as her face falls and her chest burns with envy. She thanks her lucky stars they haven’t spotted her yet, allowing her to eavesdrop for a second. She tries desperately to tamp down the voice growling ‘get away from my girlfriend’  in her head. There has to be some explanation.
Cady can’t quite pick up most of their conversation, but she does hear Regina say, “Cady’s not going to find out, Janis,” and lean closer.
That’s all she needs to hear. She feels herself let out a harsh sob, turning on her heel and running from the room. Janis whirls around just before the door slams shut behind her. “Caddy! Shit,” she calls as  she breaks into a sprint after her. “Baby, please wait, let me explain!”
“What the fuck is there to explain, Janis?!” Cady yells at her, walking backwards for a second. “Just leave me alone. Go to her, I hope she makes you happy.” And with that, she turns and continues running.
“Baby, please,” Janis begs, reaching for her. Cady doesn’t turn back around.
-
Cady winds up running the whole mile back to her house without noticing, ignoring the worried calls of her parents as she barrels up the stairs to her bedroom, throwing her backpack off and burrowing under her covers. Her chest is starting to hurt with how hard she’s sobbing. Maybe she’s feeling her heart breaking.
How could I be so stupid with love again? Of course Janis would pick Regina over me. Regina has every American standard of beauty down pat, and a good personality now. What do I have?
She hears her phone pinging frantically, looking to see texts flooding in from Janis and Regina, both begging her to let Janis explain. She flips it to silent after sending her parents a text, letting them know to turn Janis away should she turn up at any point.
How could they do this to me? I understand why Janis chose her, but how could she be so cruel? Regina is supposed to be nicer now, how could she do this? It’s fucking Aaron all over again. I caught feelings for Janis and she snatched her away. And Janis... did she ever love me? How could she do this?
She rolls onto her side and soaks her pillow in tears, deciding she gets the decision to swear off of dating now.
-
Janis loses Cady as she reaches the main doors, panting with exertion. She turns to head back to the classroom to grab her bag.
“Janis, I’m so sorry, I had no idea she was there or I wouldn’t have phrased it like that,” Regina bursts out as soon as she enters, looking near tears.
“Reg, it... it’ll be fine. It has to be. I’ll go find her and try to explain again, I guess. Better to ruin the surprise than have her think I’m cheating on her,” Janis says in response, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and moving quickly back towards the door.
Regina sighs heavily. “Okay, good luck. I’ll text her too. God, she looked so... broken.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Reggie. Later,” Janis calls over her shoulder, hurrying towards the entrance to the building.
She pulls her phone from her pocket as she walks to Cady’s house, figuring that must be where she’s gone.
Jellybean: caddy that wasn’t what it looked like i promise
Jellybean: are you okay??
Jellybean: please let me explain
Jellybean: caddy you know me you know i wouldn’t do that to you please
Jellybean: baby??
Cady hasn’t answered or even read any of her messages by the time Janis is knocking on the door.
“Cady says she doesn’t want to see you,” Cady’s mother says harshly, protective of her cub.
“Mrs. Heron, please, I need to explain. She didn’t see what she thought she did,” Janis begs.
Mrs. Heron sighs. “Janis, I want to believe you, but Cady has been hurt by this Regina girl before. You need to leave, give her time. I’ll tell her you came by.”
She closes the door before Janis can get another word out. Give her time, Janis thinks as she walks to Damian’s house next, seething with anger.
-
Cady’s father wakes her up just before dinner, softly stroking her hair. She must have cried herself to sleep.
“Janis came by,” he says carefully. “Your mother sent her away like you asked.”
Cady immediately bursts into tears at the mention of her now ex-girlfriend. “I don’t wanna see her again. I want to switch schools.”
“Shh, binti. You’re a month away from graduation, you’re not switching schools. But you can stay home tomorrow. What happened?”
Cady cries harder. “Janis was-was talking to Regina in the art room and-and they were so close together and then Janis said something and R-Regina said that-that I wouldn’t find out about it,” she wails into his shoulder.
“Shh, ndege wangu mdogo wa wimbo. Did you hear what it was you wouldn’t find out about?” Her father hushes.
“She’s cheating on me! With Regina,” Cady sobs. “What else could it be?”
“Did you hear them say that? Or see them do anything?”
“No,” she admits shyly.
“Then you don’t know. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, you’re going to jump into your grave one of these times,” her father chides gently. “You don’t have to today, or even anytime soon, but you should hear Janis out at some point, let her explain.”
“Fine,” Cady sniffs. “But what is she hiding? Janis tells me everything.”
“That I don’t know, binti. You take some time to think. I’ll bring up your dinner.” And with a forehead kiss, her father leaves her alone.
-
“Whoa whoa whoa, what?” Damian asks hastily, interrupting Janis. “Start again and slow down.”
“Caddy found me talking to Regina and now she thinks I’m cheating. She said she didn’t want to see me and won’t even read my texts,” she growls.
“Wow. That’s... out of character for her,” Damian says in shock.
“I know! I don’t know what to do, she won’t let me explain anything,” Janis huffs, terrified she might lose her girlfriend over something so stupid. “And now I’m wondering what the hell she really thinks of me. If she can’t trust me enough to know I would never cheat on her, especially with Regina fucking George, then should we even be together?”
“That’s a fair point, I guess,” Damian admits. “But that really doesn’t sound like Caddy. Something else has to be going on.”
Janis sighs, trying to get herself back under control. She can’t even figure out why she’s so angry. “Can you talk to her?”
Damian looks meaningfully at his wounded foot, but eventually can’t resist the urge to help his platonic soulmate. “I can try, I guess. Maybe convince her to hear you out. But I can’t explain what happened or get her to forgive you. You have to do that.”
“Fine,” Janis huffs. “Just make sure she’s okay.”
“She will be, Jan, don’t worry. I’ll text her, see if she can come over tomorrow,” Damian comforts.
“Thanks, D.”
————-
Cady warily checks her phone when she wakes up the next morning, surprised when she sees her most recent text is from Damian.
Big Slice: Do you wanna come hang out with me after school today?? Pippa is not performing her caregiver duties well enough
She sighs. It’s almost definitely a trap, Damian is Janis’ best friend. That thought gives her pause. If she and Janis break up for good, will she lose her friendship with Damian? And since Regina is involved, will Gretchen and Karen stop being her friends, too? If she doesn’t go talk to Damian, she might go back to being totally alone for the third time in two years.
Little Slice: Yeah, I’ll come. I’ll be over around noon. My parents made me take a mental health day.
Big Slice: 📷
Little Slice: Wait, Janis won’t be there, will she?
Big Slice: Nope just us :) She went to school and has to babysit Juju after
Little Slice: Good.
Cady hauls herself out of bed with a great deal of effort, surprised to see it’s already eleven. She trudges down the stairs still in her pajamas for breakfast, staring out the window at absolutely nothing as she munches on her cereal.
Climbing back up the stairs feels like she’s climbing Kilimanjaro again, but she manages and resists the urge to flop back into bed. She doesn’t even have the energy to brush her hair, tying it up into a knot and spraying a little extra perfume on in place of a shower.
She grabs her phone after she tugs on a sweatshirt and some leggings, texting her dad to tell him she’s going to see Damian.
Cady perks up a little on her walk over, the sun giving her some energy. She has a spare key, so lets herself into Damian’s house and heads to his bedroom.
“Hey, Cads, how are you?” Damian asks when he turns to look at her. Janis clearly told him everything, but he’s pretending not to know.
“Fine,” Cady whispers. She can feel tears burning in her eyes and knows if she tries to speak she’ll start crying. Damian doesn’t need her problems on top of his own and Janis’.
“No, you’re not,” Damian says, reaching for her. “Come tell me your troubles.”
“You have your own problems, you don’t need to hear mine,” Cady mumbles.
“Bitch, please, I live for drama. I’ve been holed up here for almost a week, give me something to do,” Damian begs.
Cady gives in to the cuddling urge, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. She heaves a sigh to try and keep the tears at bay, to no avail.
“Did Janis tell you?” She says, choking out a sob immediately after.
Damian sits up to hold her better. “Yes, but I want to hear your side of things too.”
Cady sobs harder. “She was-was talking to-to-to Regina in the art room, and R-Regina looked... excited about something and then Janis said something to h-her and Regina said that-that I wouldn’t find out about it.”
“So what do you think they meant by that?” Damian hums sadly, rubbing her back.
“Are they t-together? Is she cheat-cheating on me?” Cady whimpers.
“Let’s work through this together, hm? You remember how Janis acted when she had a crush on you, yeah?” Damian asks, continuing when she nods. “Disaster lesbian. Has she been acting like that around Regina?”
“No,” Cady sniffles. “But-but she could be meeting her when I don’t know about it, and hiding it when-when I’m around.”
“That’s another thing. Has Janis been lying to you about where she is, or acting suspicious?” Damian asks comfortingly.
Cady is about to say no before she remembers Friday. “Yeah,” she wails. “On-on Friday, she said Juliana was sick... b-but when I was at the ho-hospital with you she w-went to that coffee sh-shop with Regina.”
“Okay, so we have one suspicious thing, I’ll admit that is weird,” Damian says, scolding Janis internally. “Has she done anything else?”
Cady sniffles as she pauses to think. “She won’t l-listen to me any-anymore. She spent all day Monday and Tuesday t-tex-texting somebody and didn’t hear anything I said, and then-then she missed lunch. She did-did yesterday, t-too.”
“That’s some bullshit,” Damian calls. “She shouldn’t be doing that, I’ll talk to her about that. Okay, so a few things. Back to our checklist. Has Janis stopped saying things like ‘I love you’ or giving you kisses and cuddles and stuff?”
“No,” Cady sobs. She misses that, so much. And it’s only been a day. “She hasn’t.”
“Has Janis ever willingly wanted to spend a long amount of time with Regina? In the entire time you’ve known them? Even now that Reggie is a decent human?” Damian asks, looking at her meaningfully.
“No,” Cady admits. “Not unless one of us is around.”
“So does it make sense for them to be together?”
“No,” she sniffles. “But what if she’s with somebody else?”
“Who would she be with?” He asks.
Cady stops to think. The only other lesbian Janis knows well is Sonja Acquino, and she had gotten a girlfriend over winter break. Girls at school still tended to avoid Janis. Unless she met someone outside of school, there’s nobody she could possibly be with. Cady spends most of her time outside of school with Janis, and Janis would’ve told her if she had met a fellow gay.
Cady processes this realization and bursts into sobs anew. “God, I’m so stupid. Is Janis mad at me?”
“No, little slice, no. Janis has been acting weird, you had every right to be suspicious. Janis isn’t mad, either. She’s frustrated that you won’t talk to her, and she’s upset that you think she would do something like that. But I think once you both take a couple days to process and regroup, you should hear her out and make her hear you out, and then you’ll be fine. You two are so fucking grossly in love, you’re gonna make it through this.”
“Thank you,” Cady sniffs. “For listening. I would’ve understood if you took her side. You’re such a good friend.”
“Thanks, Cads,” Damian chuckles. “I try. But really, I’m friends with both of you; I’m talking to you because I want to. You both have shit happening that you’re not telling the other one about; once you clear the air there won’t even be sides to this. And besides, you’re Pippa’s favorite auntie. We can’t let you get away.”
Cady gives a watery chuckle at that, wiping the tears from under her eyes. “God, I’m such a mess.”
“Bitch, you’re fine. Until, like, five minutes ago you thought you had your second major heartbreak in two years,” Damian chastises gently. “We have ice cream in the freezer, can you go get it for us please?”
“Yes,” Cady says, kissing his cheek and grabbing a tissue from the box on his dresser. “I’ll be right back.”
She hears the clacking of small claws following her down the hallway to the kitchen, turning to see the sweet little squished face of Damian’s french bulldog.
“Hi Pip,” she says in her baby voice. “How are you, puppies?” Pippa wiggles excitedly when Cady picks her up, scrambling to lick the tear tracks from her cheeks. “Oh, thank you. Have you been taking good care of Damian?”
She bursts out laughing when Damian calls “No!” from his room, apparently having overheard their conversation.
“Well that can’t be right, your little face could heal any injury,” Cady says as she sets the dog down. She opens the freezer, grabbing two pints of ice cream and some spoons from the drawer before heading back to Damian.
“Pippa would be a terrible nurse,” Damian says when she comes back. “She keeps tripping me every time I try to go to the bathroom.”
Cady giggles. “She’s doing her best, be nice. Here’s your ice cream.”
“Thank youuuuu,” Damian sings. “Now, what should we watch to get your mind off of things?”
Cady crawls back into bed next to him, helping Pippa up as she stands on her hind legs to see what they’re doing. “Have you found any new bootlegs?”
“Ooh, yeah, actually. I’ve had a lot of time to look,” Damian answers, grabbing his laptop from his nightstand and a flash drive from the drawer. “I found a really good quality one of The Lion King, do you want to watch that?”
Cady’s eyes go wide as she opens her ice cream and she nods excitedly. “I’ve just been watching videos of this monkey who’s best friends with a duck on repeat. It kept making me cry harder because they’re so cute. Your plan sounds better.”
“You are the biggest dork I know, I love you dearly,” Damian responds, bringing up the right file. “Alright, time to see some puppet elephants and shit.”
Cady cuddles into his side as the video starts, with Pippa resting protectively at their feet.
“Is Janis okay?” she asks quietly after they finish.
“Yes, she’s okay. She’ll be better after you two talk, but she’s fine,” Damian responds comfortingly. “I found one of Frozen too, do you want to watch that?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
-
She stays over through dinner, watching musicals and playing card games with Damian to pass the time. He makes her promise to shower and clean her inevitably messy room when she gets home, and turn her phone back on.
She keeps her promises and heads to bed, feeling much more secure in her relationships than she did a few hours prior.
————-
Janis stays home from school on Friday, having woken up even angrier than she had the day before.
Her therapist in middle school had told her to find a constructive way to deal with anger, since she had a tendency to cause either severe property damage or accidental damage to herself with her impulse decisions. Damian had had to explain her way out of trouble several times.
So, Janis had taken up yarn crafts. She would knit or cross-stitch or crochet, finding the repetitive motions soothing. Plus, a lot of the tools were quite sharp, making her feel like she had weapons.
She’s aggressively working on embroidering new designs on her jacket right around the time she’s supposed to be in school, when none other than Damian comes barreling into her room, as if he’d felt a disturbance in the force and had come to make sure she’s okay.
“Phone,” he says immediately when he sees her face and choice of activity, hobbling over on his crutches and holding out a hand for it.
“Why?” Janis grumbles but shuts it off and hands it over regardless.
“So you don’t do something on it that you’ll regret later. Internet is permanent. You wanna go throw rocks in the pond?” He asks, as if she’s a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
“Can you do that? You’re not even supposed to be on crutches yet,” Janis asks, raising an eyebrow at him.
“You know damn well I would saw my legs off for you, I’m fine taking a little longer to heal. Plus, I got cleared by the doctor yesterday, so yes I am supposed to be on crutches yet,” he says childishly as he sticks his tongue out at her. “Are we going or not?”
“Yeah,” Janis mumbles, throwing off her covers to go get dressed.
-
Luckily, Damian’s unhurt foot is the one he needs to drive, so he can still do so safely. He lets Janis play her Angory Times playlist on the way there, which is just a lot of loud, shouty songs one right after another. Damian normally hates this kind of music, but Janis can see him actively trying to be supportive and let her continue.
Fortunately for him, the pond isn’t too far away, and Janis sees him breathe a sigh of relief when he shuts the car off and the noise stops. Damian grabs his crutches from the backseat and heads off, Janis stalking after him.
She bends to pick up rocks on her way, also grabbing the ones Damian points to. His are for skipping, small and flat and smooth. Hers are just for throwing, heavy ones that will make a good splash when they’re hurtled into the water.
Once their respective collections are amassed, they stand next to one another on the shore and go at it. Janis feels her anger chipping away as she chucks her rocks like baseballs into the murky water, delighting in the splashes echoing around them.
This is part of why she loves Damian so much. He knows exactly what to do to make her feel better in any possible scenario, and is perfectly content to do something as stupid as throw rocks into a creek with her in complete silence. On a sprained foot, no less.
“Nice,” she pants when Damian gets six skips in a row with one of his.
“Thanks,” Damian huffs back. “How many fish d’you think we’ve concussed so far?”
Janis laughs at that, hurtling her last rock as hard as she can. It hurts her shoulder a little, but lands almost halfway across the pond. “I don’t think fish can live in this water, honestly.”
“You’re probably right. Feeling better?” Damian asks, skipping his last stone. Four skips isn’t bad.
“Yeah. Can we get coffee?” Janis asks, trying to catch her breath.
“Yeah. Come on.”
-
Once Janis has her iced coffee and Damian has his latte, they find a bench to sit on and just watch the world go by for a while.
“So, are you ready to talk about why I had to take you to go chuck rocks into the pond?” Damian asks gently.
Janis sighs. “I just... I want to know what she’s thinking. I thought she trusted me, that we trusted each other. If she can’t believe that I wouldn’t do that to the point of completely cutting me off at the first slightly suspicious thing, then do we even... have a relationship?”
Damian doesn’t say anything, just takes her hand and squeezes it to encourage her to continue.
“Like... what else is going on with her? What is she not telling me? I just-I just don’t know what she needs. I’ve never felt so disconnected from her before. I’m-I’m scared.” Janis murmurs.
Damian hums sadly. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah,” Janis mumbles.
“I really don’t think this is happening because Cady doesn’t trust you. I think it’s happening because she doesn’t trust herself.” Damian responds. “She was a wreck when she came over yesterday, she had obviously been crying and hadn’t showered, things like that. Her hair wasn’t even brushed. When Aaron got back with Regina she got hot and did our whole revenge party thing.”
Janis takes her turn to listen, letting him continue.
“Cady grew up with lions and shit. If she thought you were cheating on her she should’ve been angry, not sad. Just based on who she is as a person. There’s something more happening.”
Janis thinks on what he’s said for a second. “Doesn’t trust herself? What do you mean? Doesn’t trust herself not to cheat on me?”
“No, no,” Damian says hastily. He pauses, trying to figure out how to word his point. “I don’t think Cady thinks she deserves you. She doesn’t trust herself to be what you want or need.”
“Am I that bad of a girlfriend? How could she think that? Why wouldn’t she tell me she was feeling like that?” Janis asks, trying to hold back the tears burning her eyes.
“Because you might have told her she was right. You and I know you would never do that, and I think she knows that too. But her anxiety about it overrode her rationality for a while. Cady has a lot going on. And no, you’re not a terrible girlfriend. You’re a pretty good one, actually. This is your first argument, it’s understandable,” Damian comforts.
“I just... I don’t want to lose her. And this is so stupid, why can’t I just-just stop being so angry?” Janis grits out.
“I think it’s fair for you to be angry, honestly. Cady didn’t mean for it to be, but this is kind of an attack on your character. She accused you of cheating,” Damian replies, wrapping and arm around her shoulders.
“I guess. Feels shitty,” Janis mumbles, leaning to rest her head on his shoulder.
“It’s meant to. But try to think of how she’s feeling, too,” Damian says as he rests his cheek on her head. “I had to explain to her why it didn’t make sense for you to cheat, and when it finally sank in the first thing she asked was if you were angry at her. For even thinking you would do that.”
That finally gets the tears from Janis, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes as she feels any lingering anger directed at Cady fade into nothing. “God, Caddy. What do I do, Damian?”
“For now, finish your coffee. She invited you to explain tomorrow, yeah?” Damian asks. Janis nods. “Okay, so tomorrow go over and... do something. I know you didn’t technically do anything wrong, but maybe apologize for... how she took it, I guess? You were acting kind of shady. Make sure she knows you would never cheat, tell her she can trust you, stuff like that. Just take everything one step at a time.”
“Okay,” Janis sniffles. “Is-was she okay?”
“Not at first, I’ll be honest,” Damian replies. “She said she had been watching videos of this monkey and duck who are best friends to try to cheer herself up, and I had to watch two bootlegs with her to even see her smile. But once we had a chat and stuff she seemed a lot more secure. Confident. She’ll probably apologize before you even get a chance.”
Janis gives a watery chuckle at the mention of the inter-species friendship videos. “That’s my girl. Thanks for checking on her.”
“Caddy said the same things. She wanted to know if you were okay, said thanks for even thinking about her.”
“I miss her so much,” Janis sniffs.
Damian takes her hand again. “And that’s how I know this is going to work out. You’re both upset with each other, and yet all both of you can think about is making up so you can be together again.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so. Y’all are the most disgustingly loving couple I know, you both look at the other like they hung the stars. You two are going to be fine.”
“Okay. I love you,” Janis responds, wiping her tears with her sleeve.
“I love you too. You wanna go play with the birds at the pet store?” Damian asks, hauling himself back onto his crutches.
“You know me too well,” Janis replies with a small grin, following him back to his car.
————-
On Saturday, Cady tells Janis she can come over to finally have a talk. Janis decides to come in through the window for dramatic effect, nearly falling out of the tree she has to climb to do so until Cady hauls her in safely.
“What the hell, Janis? It’s pouring with rain, why didn’t you come in through the door? You could’ve broken your neck,” Cady insists like a worried mother, leaving to fetch her a towel. It’s strange, not immediately pulling her in for a kiss or hug. She doesn’t like it.
“I didn’t, though, and that’s the key,” Janis says, rubbing the towel over her hair quickly. Once that’s done she gestures for Cady to sit on her bed, sitting across from her criss-cross applesauce. She takes a breath to prepare herself, but Cady speaks before she can.
“Janis, I’m so sorry. I don’t-I don’t know what I was thinking, I should’ve known you’d never do that, especially with Regina. I hadn’t slept in two days, I was so irrational,” she bursts out rapidly.
“Hey, Caddy, shh. I’m supposed to be apologizing to you. I understand how that whole thing with Regina might have looked to you, so I’m sorry for that, first of all,” Janis says. “I’m sorry I ever made you think I would do that to you. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you’re not enough for me. I love you. I need you to know I would never even think about cheating. It’s important we trust each other with stuff like that, from now on.”
Cady nods. “I do, I know you would never do that. I trust you, it’s just... Jesus, I don’t even know,” She sighs, burying her face in her hands.
“Cads, hey. Can I touch you?” Janis asks gently, taking her hands when Cady gives a nod and squeezing them. She hates this, it feels like they’re back at square one of their relationship. Maybe they are. “What’s going on?”
“I know Regina has worked on herself, a lot, and I hate feeling like this. But she took Aaron away right when she found out I liked him. What would’ve stopped her from doing it with you?”
“Me,” Janis insists. “I would have stopped it.”
“But what if she’s better for you?!” Cady asks pleadingly. “Regina could take care of you. She’s pretty, and nice now. She’s rich, and smart, and she can do art and stuff too. What- what do I have? I’m just some homeschooled weirdo from Kenya who doesn’t understand people and won’t shut up about math. I-I’m autistic, that’s gonna be hard to deal with sometimes, and in terms of looks I’m not anything special. I want you to have someone who makes you happy. You deserve someone like her. Someone.... someone better.”
“I don’t give a hot, crispy, Kentucky fried fuck what you think I deserve. I know what I want, and I want you. I want my Caddy, my Peanut, my Butterfly,” Janis says passionately, cupping her cheeks and looking into her eyes. “I want your pretty blue eyes and your red hair that smells like cherries and your freckles I can find constellations in. I want my math nerd who does calculus for fun and who can’t do art to save her life but tries anyway because she knows it’ll make me smile. I want my animal lover who makes friends with the squirrels in the woods and didn’t notice a deer followed her on her walk to my house, my girl who can tell me facts I never needed to know about lions and fun stories about Africa. You make me happy. I want you, baby. Nobody else.”
Cady throws herself at Janis, knocking her backwards onto the bed and locking their lips together. Janis kisses her back just as hard, gripping her waist so hard Cady can feel bruises forming. She doesn’t care. She’s flooded with relief at the familiar waxy texture of Janis’ lipstick, the comforting smell of vanilla from her soft skin and the safe feeling of being held in her arms. She pulls back for a split second to breathe before diving back in, gasping as Janis nips her lip and twines their tongues together.
When they finally pull back, Janis just cups Cady’s face to look at her, lips swollen and two-toned hair wild around her. “I’m so sorry,” Cady says, pulling back to sit again and burying herself in Janis’ shoulder when she follows. “I hated fighting, I love you, I’m sorry.”
“The only thing you have to be sorry for is not telling me you were feeling that way. This is only gonna work if we both feel okay about ourselves, and tell each other when we don’t. I’m sorry for not talking with you about this kind of thing sooner. This whole relationship needs to be based on trust and talking to each other, okay?”
Cady nods. “Okay. We both take care of each other?”
“Exactly, my girl,” Janis confirms, grinning as Cady kisses her cheeks. “But ourselves, too.”
“Have you ever felt like this? With me?” Cady asks gently.
“Of course. I wonder every day what I did to deserve you. I was so jealous the whole time you were with Aaron, and I thought you were way out of my league for a long time,” Janis responds, chuckling when Cady pulls back to look at her incredulously. “You’re so beautiful, and so smart. You were queen of the school for a good while, I thought you would at least want someone as smart as you, if not as nice and pretty. When we first got together I spent a lot of time wondering why you didn’t pick Kevin or even Regina over me.”
“Then I’m sorry too. You’re what I want, I love you. I love the way you always smell like paint, I love the one little chunk of hair that always slips into your face,” Cady says, brushing it behind Janis’ ear. “I love the way you’re so tough and strong and yet you cry over the snake food at the pet store and try to steal the dwarf hamsters every time we go. I love how you never let my feet touch the ground when we’re together, and how you seem so cold but give the warmest hugs and softest kisses. I love how you’re the only person who regularly asks for stories about Kenya and never tells me to be quiet, and how you let me ramble about math and at least pretend to be interested even though you don’t understand what I’m on about. I love that you let me call you stupid little nicknames even though it ‘goes against your image’. I love that you’re so passionate about everything, that you care so much about what’s important to you and aren’t afraid to let people know it. I. Love. You. So much. Promise me you’ll tell me if you feel that way again.”
“I promise, baby. I love you too,” Janis responds with tears in her eyes. Cady clings to her tightly, happy they seem to be okay again. They sit like that for a short while, content to be holding each other again.
“Janis?” Cady asks quietly after a moment.
“Yes, Princess?” Janis responds, opening her eyes again.
“What have you been talking with Regina about?”
Janis chuckles, kissing her cheek. “I’ve been trying to come up with something to surprise you with, to celebrate you being valedictorian. Reggie likes party planning and stuff, I thought she might have some ideas.”
“Really?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Oh my god, I’m so stupid,” Cady chuckles. Janis flicks her gently.
“Hey, no you’re not. You’re the valedictorian, for fucks sake. And I did not go about any of this correctly.”
“I didn’t either, I don’t blame you. But you don’t have to get me anything, Jayjay,” Cady mumbles sheepishly as she nuzzles back into Janis.
“I know I don’t have to, I want to,” Janis replies. “You’ve worked so hard, you deserve something.”
“What have you guys come up with?” Cady asks.
“Regina wants to throw you some kind of party, but that’s all we’ve gotten so far. I’m trying to talk her out of some sort of rager,” Janis answers.
“Oh, that sounds fun. But yeah, I don’t want anything big or crazy,” Cady says.
“What do you want? Since it’s not a surprise anymore. Might as well get your input,” Janis says in response.
Cady thinks for a while. “I dunno. Something with food. Maybe outside if it’s a nice day. I trust your judgement.”
“A dangerous choice,” Janis chuckles.
“I know,” Cady giggles. “But really. As long as it’s not anything crazy or expensive I don’t mind what you choose to do.”
“Okay. I can work with that. I love you,” Janis says.
“I love you too. I missed you,” Cady says.
“I missed you too, baby,” Janis responds. “Was torture without you.”
“We really have to do something for Damian, too,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “I would’ve totally spiraled without him.”
“God, yeah, me too,” Janis says. “You think of something to get him, we’ll give it to him on the same day we do your little bash.”
“Okay,” Cady giggles. She goes quiet for a long moment before piping up again. “Janis?”
“Hmm?”
“Can you help me with my English project?”
“Yes,” Janis laughs. “Of course.”
“Thank god.”
————-
“Hey, Cady, can we talk?” Regina stops her in the hallway on her way to study hall.
“Oh god, Regina! Sorry, you scared me. Uh, yeah, are you okay with talking in the bathroom?”
Regina grimaces, but nods. Cady follows her in.
“Regina, I’m sorry, I should never have accused you of trying to steal Janis,” Cady apologizes. “You’ve worked so much on being nicer, and it really shows, I’m sorry I ever thought you would still do something like that.”
“Whoa, Cady,” Regina says. “Um, it’s... fine. I wasn’t expecting you to apologize. I wanted to apologize, I should have been more careful with how Janis and I were meeting and stuff. I don’t know if she’s talked to you yet, but she would never cheat on you, especially with me. I think she still hates me. Please forgive Janis, none of this was her fault.”
“Gina, hey,” Cady comforts. “Janis and I talked this weekend, we’re back together. Everything is okay. We’ve all learned some very valuable lessons. I forgive you.”
“Oh thank fuck,” Regina sighs. “The universe has felt out of balance since you broke up. I was wondering what you guys were going to do to me that could be worse than the Kälteen bars.”
“I’m still sorry about those,” Cady mumbles sheepishly. “Let’s just, like... talk about stuff, in the future? Stop having to have moments like this?”
“Agreed,” Regina says. “You want to hug it out, don’t you?” Cady nods. “Fine. Thirty seconds.”
“I’ll take it,” Cady says happily. “I’ll make a hugger out of you yet.”
————-
“Jayjay!” Cady calls, leaping on Janis from behind.
“Jesus fuck! Caddy! Don’t do that,” Janis yelps as she turns around.
“Hi,” Cady says, grinning up at her. “I sowwy.”
Janis glares at her. “You’re forgiven. For a kiss.”
Cady happily obliges, reaching her arms around Janis’ neck as she leans up to kiss her sweetly. “Better?”
“For now,” Janis says, pecking her gently again. “Do you want to work on your project? I’ve been freed from planning your little shindig for the day, Regina wanted to go see Damian.”
“Aww, that’s nice of her. I definitely need your help, it’s due on Friday and I only have a couple slides,” Cady says.
“Tits. You ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Cady says, lacing their fingers together as Janis leads her to her truck.
-
Janis flops onto Cady’s bed when they arrive, reaching for her laptop to see what Cady has so far. She bursts out laughing when she sees the only slide Cady’s made.
“What’s so funny?” Cady asks. She’d been pretty sleep deprived by the time she actually got around to putting it together, but thought she had done a pretty good job.
“Did you proofread this at all?” Janis says in between fits of laughter.
“I hadn’t slept in two days at the time, but yes,” Cady replies, almost offended.
“Baby, this just says ‘I’m so tired. Please god let me sleep.’ over and over with a bunch of typos,” Janis says breathlessly, wiping tears of laughter from under her eyes.
“Oh. Oops,” Cady replies. Apparently she’s made less progress than she had thought.
“Next time, pace yourself. You need to sleep, Butterfly,” Janis says, reaching for her. Cady comes to sit on her lap.
“So, what career do you want to do this project on? It’s supposed to be what you want to do when you grow up, right?” Janis asks, holding her close.
“Yeah,” Cady mumbles. “But... I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Oh, baby, that’s okay. I don’t know either,” Janis comforts. “Do you have any ideas of jobs you want?”
“My parents want me to go into zoology, like them,” Cady replies. “And I’ve been... wondering if I should go into medicine. Like Rhys wanted to. Since he couldn’t himself.”
“But what do you want to do?” Janis asks. “I think it’s great that you’re considering medicine for your brother, but if it’s not what you really want then you shouldn’t force yourself into it.”
“I kind of want to teach math,” Cady mumbles shyly. “Like, to college or high school kids. Maybe get my PhD in math and stuff. I think math is fun, I want to help other people have fun with it too.”
“You would be such a good teacher, baby,” Janis comforts, kissing her cheek. “You should absolutely do that if it’s what you want. You’ll be successful enough to make your parents happy, and be doing something you’re interested in. That’s a great fit for you.”
Cady looks more than a little relieved at that, but realizes something. “I’d feel guilty though. I promised I’d become a doctor for Rhys when he died. I just... don’t really want to anymore. I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”
“Butterfly, Rhys would want you to be happy with whatever you choose to do. You already honor him every day just by existing. You’re so smart, and kind, and beautiful. I know you’re already making him proud, you don’t owe him anything else,” Janis reminds her. She never met Rhys, but from everything she’s heard about him she just made a true statement.
“Thank you, Jayjay. I guess if I did get my PhD I’d technically be a doctor,” Cady jokes. “I’ll decide later, I have a couple years.”
“That you do. Unfortunately, becoming a math teacher doesn’t make for a very interesting project, though, so maybe pick a fake career and we’ll look into that,” Janis says.
“I did actually want to be a zoologist when I was really little, we could do that,” Cady says.
“Sounds like a plan,” Janis replies as she kisses her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Cady responds. “Can we just make out instead?”
“Tempting,” Janis says. “You get one minute of kissing for every half hour.”
“Fine.”
————-
“Hey, Cady, can you go to the mall with us after school today?” Gretchen asks, flanked by Karen.
“Yeah,” Cady responds. “Is this related at all to-“
“No!” Karen insists before she can finish.
“Karen, sweetie, she knows she’s having some kind of party. She just doesn’t know what’s happening specifically,” Gretchen says quietly.
“Oh yeah,” Karen says. “Then yes. They’re going shopping for supplies today and told us to distract you. Confetti emoji.”
“Ah,” Cady giggles. “Yeah, I can go. I’ll meet you guys by the main doors after school?”
“Caucasian thumbs up!” Karen responds, pulling Gretchen away.
“Yeah, we’ll be there!”
-
“Okay, Sarkisian, what’s this wonderful idea you’ve had?” Regina asks.
“A picnic!” Janis says excitedly. “She wants something with food and something outside. We’ll have a picnic in the park.”
“That... actually doesn’t sound terrible,” Regina says. “So what do we need?”
“A big-ass blanket,” Janis responds as they enter a party store. “And food. And Caddy loves balloons, but we should get those on the day.”
“Who’s gonna make the food, Jan?” Regina asks.
“Jules can, she loves to cook. She’s been wanting to practice stuff anyway,” Janis responds, looking at their selections of plates.
“How is she?” Regina asks quietly. She hasn’t seen Juliana since she and Janis were twelve.
“She’s good,” Janis answers. “Tall as shit, little evil genius. She’s super smart and sarcastic and stuff. She’s big into writing now, too. How’s Kylie been?”
“I... She... I’m...” Regina stutters. “She’s a good kid, but she’s turning into a little version of me. I’m trying to stop her before she gets to where I was.”
Janis hums sadly. “Well, at least you’re a better role model for her now. And you’re both getting the help you need. Kylie was the sweetest little thing last time I saw her, I don’t think she can get to your level.”
“I hope not,” Regina mumbles. “Cady likes yellow, right? We could do white and yellow, that would be cute.”
Janis gets the sense they’re done talking about their families for a reason, now. “Yeah, yellow is her favorite. We could go buy some white sheets from somewhere for cheap and then do yellow plates and shit.”
“Done. I’m buying,” Regina says, grabbing several packs of plates and napkins.
“No! She’s my girlfriend,” Janis protests. “I’m paying.”
“Jan, just let me have this.”
“Fine. ‘S your money,” Janis grumbles.
“Thank you.”
“Hmph.”
-
Cady, unfortunately, has study hall as her last class of the day in the English wing, so she has to rush to meet Gretchen and Karen by the entrance to the school.
She’s so excited to be spending time with them that she almost runs past them, managing to slow down just before she barrels into Gretchen.
“Hi, sorry,” she says breathlessly. “Who’s driving?”
“I will,” Gretchen offers. Riding with other drivers tends to make her anxious.
“I call shotgun!” Karen calls, already heading to the car. That leaves Cady in the back, which she doesn’t mind.
They put their backpacks in the trunk and hop in, Karen dancing along in her seat to the radio. Cady texts Damian on the ride there, since he had an appointment to check on his foot today. He’d been back in school starting that week, but was still stuck on crutches.
Little Slice: How was the doctor????
Big Slice: Good! I don’t have to use crutches anymore, I just have to wear a boot and go easy on it
Big Slice: No dancing for a while :(
Little Slice: Aw :((( You’ll be back to dancing soon though!!
Little Slice: And yay no more crutches!!!!!!!!!
Big Slice: Yeah now Pippa can’t trip me lmao
Big Slice: Wait aren’t you at the mall??
Little Slice: Yeah, we just got here. I just wanted to check on you 📷
Big Slice: Aw, thanks Cads
Big Slice: Go have fun I’m all good
Little Slice: Okay. Love you 🥰
Big Slice: Love you too, go eat pretzels 🥨
Little Slice: 📷🥨
She chuckles and shuts her phone off, following after her friends into the mall. “Are you guys wanting anything in particular or are we just here for fun?”
“Both!” Karen cheers. “We should totally buy you an outfit for your party. But I also want frozen yogurt.”
“Oh, I didn’t bring any money,” Cady remembers. “But you guys should have fun, I’ll just hang around.”
“No, it’s our treat. We haven’t paid anything for your party,” Gretchen says.
“You guys don’t have to do that,” Cady mumbles. She’s slightly embarrassed by all the attention she’s been getting lately.
“Money bag emoji, let us buy you stuff, Cady. We’re both pretty rich,” Karen says.
“Yeah, come on. Frozen yogurt and one outfit from, like, Forever 21 or something isn’t that expensive anyway, Cades,” Gretchen adds.
“Okay, fine,” Cady begrudgingly agrees. “Let’s do yogurt first, I’m hungry.”
Karen takes both their hands and hauls them towards her favorite shop.
Once they’re sufficiently full of yogurt and toppings, they head to find an outfit for Cady. Gretchen wanders off for a second, leaving Karen and Cady to browse some racks. She comes back with a beautiful white sundress, patterned with yellow flowers.
She shyly approaches Cady, offering the dress. “What do you think of this?”
“Oh, Gretch, this is so pretty! Let me go try it on, it’s beautiful,” Cady squeals, rushing towards the changing rooms. It’s a soft cotton, with a pretty tight bodice and a skirt that flares at her waist, and ends just above her knees. Gretchen seems to have remembered her sizes from their plastic days, the dress fits perfectly.
She opens the curtain to go show her friends, both of them clapping happily and squealing as she spins around. It’s different than it was when they went shopping last year. She can tell their reactions are genuine, rather than just trying to appease her.
“What do you think?” Gretchen asks shyly.
“Gretch, it’s perfect. It’s so soft,” Cady says, looking at herself in the mirror. It has short sleeves, so she might get a little chilly, but she can steal a jacket from Janis. “And, I can wear it to graduation too. It’s beautiful.”
“Oh, good,” Gretchen breathes. She’s working on not needing quite so much external validation, but it’s a slow process.
“You look hot,” Karen adds, making Cady laugh.
“Thanks,” She says, kicking up a heel. “Do you guys want to come over? Watch a movie or something?”
“Totally, that would be fetch,” Gretchen says.
“I’m so glad you still say fetch,” Cady giggles. “Let’s go!”
—————-
A few days later, Janis is typing the final few slides of Cady’s project as her girlfriend lays in her lap and dictates.
“And... you’re done,” Janis says as she enters the last few words. “Now we just need to proofread it and cite your sources.”
“Mmh,” Cady whines. “I hate citing stuff.”
“I hate it too,” Janis says, leaning down to kiss her gently. Cady rests a hand on the back of her head, keeping her close and kissing her back. Janis gives in for a second, before she resists and pulls back. “Stop trying to seduce me into letting you slack off, Peanut.”
“Fine,” Cady huffs as she sits up, still in Janis’ lap as she enters all her sources. “There.”
Janis turns her around to face her. “Good job, baby.”
“Thank you for helping me,” Cady says contently as she nuzzles into her. “I love you.”
“I love you too. So much,” Janis hums. “Have you thought of anything to get for Damian, by the way?”
“A couple things,” Cady says. “He mentioned something when you guys were telling me about Phillip last year, um... an... uh-“
“Edible arrangement?” Janis asks with a chuckle, remembering the story.
“Yeah! What are those?” Cady asks.
“They’re like flower bouquets but they’re made of fruit, so you can eat them,” Janis replies.
“Oh. We could make one of those? Does he like them?”
“That would be cute,” Janis says. “He likes fruit a lot, I don’t see why he wouldn’t like one. They can’t be too hard to make.”
“Don’t say that, you’ll jinx us,” Cady jokes. “We should decorate a little vase to put it in, too.”
“Sounds like a plan, Butterfly,” Janis says. “Are you excited for Sunday?” She and Regina had finally gathered everything they would need, and decided to have the picnic on Sunday so Juliana would have Saturday to prep the food, with the assistance of Regina and their moms.
“Yes! I can’t wait to see what you guys came up with,” Cady says happily. “I know it’ll be perfect.”
“Good,” Janis says as she leans in to kiss her. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” Cady teases.
“No way. I love you most.”
“Well... I love you... moster.” Cady stumbles, making them both laugh.
“Okay, fine, you win for today,” Janis chuckles.
“Ha! I win,” Cady says. “My prize is cuddles.”
“I can live with that.”
——————-
Sunday finally rolls around, and Janis is shaking with excitement. She’d spent the day before with Cady, putting together Damian’s thank you gift while Regina and Juliana spent the day cooking at her house.
She and Cady had both wound up absolutely covered in paint from trying to decorate the vase they had picked, and painted a Broadway stage on. Once they had scrubbed most of it off, they decided to start prepping the fruit, neither of them quite understanding how to turn a cantaloupe into a flower. Eventually they got the hang of it, putting together a rather lovely arrangement. Damian would like it, at least.
Cady had mischievously decided to chuck a melon ball at Janis once they had finished putting everything together, so Janis had thrown a grape back. Eventually every piece of the extra fruit they had had been thrown at someone, and they had a delicious mess to clean up.
Her jacket had also gone missing, which was slightly concerning. She had planned on wearing it to the picnic as well, but is wearing a backup since it never turned up.
“Janny. Breathe,” Juliana demands. as Janis is frantically running around trying to make sure everything is in place. They’d bought cheap white sheets and stitched them together to make a massive blanket, which is spread over the soft grass, and bought yellow balloons which are weighing the blanket down at the corners.
Juliana had truly gone all out, prepping almost all of Cady’s favorite foods. All sorts of sandwiches, chocolate covered strawberries, a cheese board, pink lemonade, and even an adorable froggy cake.
“Okay,” Janis says as she teases a deep breath. “You really did a great job, kid, this stuff looks great.”
Julie beams up at her as Janis pulls her into a hug. “Thanks, Janny.”
“Yeah, Jan, chill. Everything’s fine, just wait for your girl,” Regina says, adjusting a bunch of balloons.
“Okay.”
She doesn’t have to wait long, as Damian shows up about ten minutes later with her blindfolded girlfriend in tow. So that’s where her jacket had gone.
He leads Cady to a good place, where she can see the whole spread, before he unties her blindfold.
Cady gasps excitedly, taking everything in for a split second before she runs to jump into Janis’ arms. Janis spins her around as Cady giggles happily, grinning down at her. She pulls Janis down into a kiss as soon as she’s on her feet again, wrapping her arms around her neck and pressing the lips together sweetly.
“Janis, this is beautiful, I love it,” she says as soon as they break apart. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby,” Janis says quietly, leaning down to kiss her again. They only remember they’re not alone when everyone starts making gagging noises, Juliana somehow already on Damian’s back. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Cady whispers, giving her one more peck before going to thank Regina and Julie. Regina begrudgingly accepts a hug, and Julie grins happily as Cady wraps her in a tight hug and kisses her cheek. Once that’s been handled she looks around a little more, smiling widely. “Should we give Damian his thing now?”
“Sure,” Janis says, heading to grab it as Damian does a lazy waltz with her sister. He only has to wear the boot for a few more weeks, luckily. “Dame!”
“What? Aww!” He squeals when they hold out his homemade fruit bouquet. “This is so cute.”
“It’s a thank you present, for telling us we were both being idiots but in a nice way,” Janis replies. “Neither of us want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been there to talk us down.”
“Aww. I should become a marriage counselor, if I get this kind of stuff every time,” Damian says, eating one of the melon flowers. He gasps with exaggerated drama as they both lean in to smooch one of his cheeks at the same time, pressing a hand over his heart.
“Thanks, Damian,” Cady giggles.
“You’re welcome. When do we get to eat?” Damian asks, cradling his bouquet.
“Once everyone else shows up,” Regina answers, coming over to join their conversation. “Speak of the devil.”
Cady peeks around Damian to see who else has arrived, going to greet the Mathletes, along with Karen and Gretchen with a hug.
She spends the picnic chatting with everyone, but also spends a lot of it stuck close to Janis. She’s either hugging her, in her lap, or holding her hand throughout the whole thing. It’s cute.
Cady and Janis stay behind after everyone else goes home to clean up, deciding to have a moment to themselves first. The sun went down a while ago, so they cuddle up on the blanket and look at the stars.
“I love you,” Cady says quietly after a while, rolling on top of Janis.
“I love you too,” Janis responds as she pulls her down into a kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Cady whispers, ghosting the words over Janis’ lips. “Today was perfect.”
“I’m glad,” Janis says. “Now kiss me.”
Cady obliges, cupping her face to kiss her as Janis rests her hands on her waist. Janis flicks her tongue at the seam of her lips, moaning quietly when Cady lets her in and their tongues meet.
They both know they should get to work soon, but for now their responsibilities are allowed to fade into the background. The picnic was wonderful, but not quite worth almost losing one another.
They lose the world in each other, tasting the universe on each other’s lips as the stars twinkle just for them above their heads.
All is well.
-
hope you enjoyed! this was a prompt fill for Hayeena and Aubrey_Plaza_Stole_HappiestSeason on ao3.
also, translation for the Swahili: ndege wangu mdogo wa wimbo: my little songbird. I have no idea if its accurate, I don't speak Swahili.
requests are still open! please leave them either here, on my ao3 or on my wattpad. all are the same handle, maybeimamuppet.
lots of love,
ezzy
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that-crow-kid · 4 years
Text
to define a way of being
by @galactic-cam (galactic_cam on ao3) for @slothbeans (slothbeans on ao3) in the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange
the story is here on ao3
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, background May Parker
Summary: Peter Parker had ADHD. He’d never gotten an official diagnosis, and it’d never been on his medical records. All he had was the vague memory of a doctor at his four-year-old check up recommending he get tested - and then his parents dying before the appointment could be made. He's done his research - there's nothing else it could be. But he'd adjusted, and he was good at school, so it hadn't really mattered all that much.
And then, because the spider bite put its greasy little fingers on everything else, it had to grab that, too.
It had been a rough few days. Well, no, scratch that, a rough few months. 
Peter Parker had ADHD. He’d never gotten an official diagnosis, and it’d never been on his medical records. When he was super little, like, before his parents died little, his pediatrician had told them that he should probably get tested. But then they’d died, less than a week later, and Peter was left with no official diagnosis, just the remnants of a memory of the doctors appointment. He’d reinforced this idea all throughout his life with his own research, but he had never told Ben or May. He figured they had enough to worry about, what with their four-year-old nephew suddenly coming to live with them after Ben’s sister-in-law and brother tragically died in a plane crash and all. 
So he’d just kept quiet. He was incredibly smart, and nobody ever accommodated for him, so he learned to adapt. Maybe not super well, but his grades were stellar despite the ADHD, so nobody ever really cared enough to diagnose or medicate him. 
And then he’d been bitten by the spider and it had gotten worse.
He’d always identified with Percy Jackson’s view of ADHD: You can’t streamline your thoughts because you get much more input. It made sense, and it was kind of how he felt. But then he developed superpowers, and it made more sense than ever before. 
He was getting 15 times the input he’d been getting before, between the super hearing and the super sight. It was pretty useful when he was fighting - if he was ‘focusing’ on one guy, he was also aware of the other guy pulling out a knife from a hidden pocket, and could adjust accordingly. It was not so great for school. It was already hard when you were acutely aware of the people whispering across the room - it was worse when you could actually hear what they were saying, and what the kids in the classrooms next to, across the hall from, above, and below you were all talking about. 
When his grades took a dip, he wasn’t shocked. He was mad at himself, of course, that he was letting his ADHD get in the way when he’d always been able to manage it, and since Peter Parker was good at stuff, there was a massive hit to his ego. He quit most of his after school activities to compensate - he needed to be doing stuff he was good at - and not at school where he was doing sub-par - and the thing he was suddenly good at was fighting crime.
And then Tony Stark had shown up at his door and whisked him away to Germany to steal Captain America’s shield, and his Homecoming had happened, and suddenly he was going to Mr. Stark’s lab in the newly rebought tower twice a week and staying over at the compound once a month.
Mr. Stark’s labs were actually a safe haven. They were sound proof, and Mr. Stark always had loud music playing, and most of the time there was nothing in there that messed with his senses. Mr. Stark worked strangely, jumping around from project to project unless he found one that really grabbed his attention. That style of working really clicked with Peter - he’d always just sat down and tried to do whatever it was he needed to - which had never really worked that well - but working in the lab, bouncing from thing to thing? That was perfect.
Today was different.
Peter had gotten his report card last week, and since it was now Tuesday, that meant he got to be scolded by Mr. Stark now, on top of the disappointment he’d gotten all weekend from May.
See, his grades were bad. Like, really bad.
Well, to a lot of kids, his grades were average, even pretty good. But for Peter Parker, top of the class in one of the country’s best schools, every teacher’s favorite Peter Parker, anything below a 90 was an extreme rarity. Anything below an 80? Where several of his grades were? Gods save the earth, because it was going to implode.
May had mostly been confused, with that constant disappointment rushing through her words. Why had he gotten Cs? He was supposed to be Peter Parker, perfect student, perfect kid. 
And now, Mr. Stark was going to take away his suit. His spider-manning was entirely reliant on his grades staying up, Mr. Stark had been clear on that. And how could he be Tony Stark’s protege if he got Cs? Mr Stark was halfway through his PhD by Peter’s age. 
Today was probably going to be the last time he saw Tony.
That was upsetting -  lab time was the only thing (other than spider-manning) that he looked forward to anymore. He was good at lab time, and Peter Parker was good at stuff. 
Of course, his brain gave a little “not anymore, you’re not.” Which, not cool, his brain was supposed to be on his side.
When he walked into the lab, Mr. Stark wasn’t working on anything, which was unusual, to say the least. He was seated, facing the door, a look of such disappointment on his face. 
Peter’s eyes focused on the floor. Wow, Mr. Stark sure had some nice tile under the epoxy that covered his lab floor. How could Peter have never noticed before?
“Peter.”
Tony’s voice startled him a bit, even though he knew that was why he’d been looking at the floor in the first place.
“Hey, Mr. Stark! How are you today? I’m really great. What are we working on today?” His sentences all came out in a rush, barely leaving any space between the words.
When he glanced up, Mr. Stark was looking at him, a smirk of amusement was tilting his lips, even though the rest of his face was still etched with disappointment. 
“What happened
Peter shrugged, eyes going back to looking at the floor.
“C’mon Kid, I need an actual answer. I know you’ve been doing all your work, and I know you’ve been home by curfew, unless you’ve hacked your suit again and convinced Karen to lie to me about it. So why’re your grades so low?”
“I- I don’t know.”
“Peter, you are the worst liar in the world.”
Peter sighed. “I know.”
“So? What happened?”
Peter glanced up. He looked at his mentor’s face, expecting disappointment, but instead he found… worry? And maybe curiosity?
“I have ADHD.”
“What? That’s not in your medical files -”
“I know, it’s not an official diagnosis. I was going to get one when I was little but… my appointment was after the plane crash, and…”
“You never did.”
“I never did. And I adjusted, kept my grades high, and nobody ever thought I could possibly have ADHD.”
“So what happened here?”
“The spider bite. It was always hard having ADHD because I noticed so much, but there’s a difference between being aware that the kids in the back of the room are talking and being able to hear what the class on the other side of the school is discussing with perfect clarity.”
Tony nodded. “I can only imagine.”
“But so my focus and participation went down, as did the quality of any work I did anywhere but in here.”
“Peter, why didn’t you tell me this before?”
Peter shrugged, but he knew the answer. He didn’t want Mr. Stark to think badly of him. How could he, Tony Stark’s protege, have ADHD?
Tony sighed. “Kid, did you know I have ADHD?” Now that caught Peter’s attention. He abruptly looked up. “What?”
Tony chuckled. “Yeah, kid. Dear old dad paid a lot to cover that up. And I wasn’t nearly as good at hiding it as you. I was all the way hyperactive, and Dad refused to medicate me. Told me to get over it, or that he wasn’t going to fuel a drug addiction in his son. His excuse changed.”
“But - But you were so good at school!”
“Dad paid off MIT to keep them quiet, but I assure you kid, I failed… several classes..”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
There was a quick beat.
“So, kid, what do you want to do about it?”
Peter, who’s eyes had refound their way to the floor, snapped back up to Tony. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you want to get a professional diagnosis? See a therapist? I’ve been meaning to rope you into therapy for a while now, this might just be the perfect way to start.”
“No - No, Mr. Stark! I don’t need therapy!”
“You might not need it yet - which I doubt, considering you fight crime in New York and I’ve seen you have several panic attacks - but all of the avengers go, and you’re an avenger-in-training. Gotta get you ahead of the game, kid.”
Peter sighed. “Fine. Okay, Mr. Stark.”
Tony pulled him into a brief hug, then slapped his back. “Brilliant, I’ll get on that for you later. For now, though, you wanna do something fun?”
Peter smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds -”
“Fun?” Tony broke in, a smile dancing across his face.
“Fun.”
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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years
Text
We’ll make it work; Wanda x Vision x child reader
*Author’s note*
Hey guys well it’s been a LOOONG time since I posted something OUTSIDE of the Bohemian Rhapsody/Queen fandom. So I hope that my marvel readers enjoy this cute little fic that had been on my wattpad inbox since like last Sept. And I PROMISE to those anons who have sent me requests from Doctor Who and a couple more marvel stuff, I WILL GET TO YOUR REQUESTS ASAP. So I’ll stop here for now and let you all enjoy this cute little fic :)
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@ixchel-9275
@queensdivas
@platawnic
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
_______________________________________________________
They said it couldn’t be done.  Hell everyone would say it was downright unnatural but yet it was finally happening. After the whole battle with Thanos and managing to bring everyone back, Wanda and Vision settled down together in a quiet suburban home in upstate New York.
They built their house from the ground up using their own two hands and decided that now with the white picket fence home, they could now start thinking about having a family together.  Now of course Vision being a machine he can’t physically reproduce but as luck would have it, there was an orphanage just 30 minutes from where they lived.
Wanda submitted an application to the orphanage introducing themselves and what their preference for adopting was.  They had agreed on wanting to adopt a little girl, preferably around 4-6 years old. With some interviews, home visits, and looking through the files, Wanda and Vision finally came to an agreement on their dream child, young (Y/n) (l/n).  
An orphan that was brought to the orphanage after her mom gave birth to her in prison.
Her parents were would-be-robbers who mostly robbed homes or cabins but then they got cocky hoping to rob a bank.  Unfortunately they were caught right before they got even a foot away from the bank.  It was there her mom found out she was pregnant and gave birth in prison before the foster system brought her to the orphanage.
After reading her backstory, Wanda and Vision knew immediately they wanted to have her.  So she called the orphanage and set up a meet and greet and in one week they would get to meet their future daughter.
When the day arrived, Wanda and Vision (in his human disguise) drove up to the orphanage where they met the Head organizer Ms. Eliza Soo.  She asked them some questions that weren’t on the application like what their current jobs were, and since they were publicly named heroes, that they had their powers under control for the sake of their future daughter.
The two heroes assured Ms. Soo that they had full control of their powers and do not intend on showing their powers before young (Y/n) unless she asks them to. After about 15 minutes of chatting away, Ms. Soo told them.
“Alright. Now unlike most meet and greets that other orphanages do, we personally would like to see how the potential parents interact with our children. Instead of trying to force the child to talk in a room with 2 strangers, we ask that the potential adopters meet the child in the Playroom. Are you two up for that?”
“Yes of course. I personally understand what it feels like. For most of my childhood it was only my brother and I for years before he…...” Wanda said.  At the mention of her brother, tears flickered in her eyes but Vision took her hand in both of his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“My wife lost her brother just shortly after we met. They were both orphaned when they were 10 years old back in her old home of Sokovia.”
“Oh I’m so sorry Ms. Maximoff, my condolences on your loss. I lost my brother around that age too. Gunshot by a rival gang member.” She took a deep breath in before exhaling out. “Now then, (Y/n) should already be heading towards the playroom if not already there by now. Allow me to escort you there so that you three may get acquainted with each other.” The three of them stood up and Ms. Soo guided them out of her office and down the hall.
They soon reached a room that was labeled at the top of the door PLAYROOM. Decorated all over the door were various art projects that the kids have done and at the bottom there were their names and ages.
“Now we’ll just observe you guys from the double-sided mirrors and see how you guys interact with her. If we see that there’s a connection, then we can proceed with the legal adoption.”
“Thank you Ms. Soo.” Vision said.  She nodded and walked off leaving the couple alone by the door.  The two of them looked at each other and Wanda asked her husband and partner.
“You ready?”
“If you are, then so am I.” Vision responded.  Wanda then reached for the doorknob and turned it on its side to open it up.
When they stepped into the room, it was completely filled with every kid of children’s toys imaginable from toy cars and trucks, dolls and action figures, even a small TV with a videogame console.  There was also drawings hung up along the wall just like there were on the door.
Soon their eyes came to young 4 year old (Y/n) (L/n).  She was at a small circular table with some paper and crayons surrounding her.  Happily humming to herself as she continued to draw on the paper.  When she saw Wanda and Vision, her head tilted to the side like an intrigued puppy.
“Are you my new mommy and daddy?”
“We—we hope to be.” Answered Wanda.  A wide smile soon spread across her face and she raced right up to them and immediately embraced Wanda.  Once she felt that little girl embrace her, a warm sensation fell over her and she already felt that maternal instinct take over.  Wanda knelt down and embraced young (Y/n) and she said. “So what is it you were drawing?”
“Come look. I’ve been working really hard on it!” like every excited child that wanted to show off their accomplishments, she dragged them both to the table and they all sat down around it and she began to show them all the drawings she’s done.
Some of them were drawings of herself out in a flower field, with her favorite animals, but one picture struck out to the two of them.
“What is this picture of (Y/n)?” Vision said as he held up a picture of (Y/n) standing between two adult figures.  But they had no hair or facial features drawn yet.
“That’s a picture of me with my new family. I…..I didn’t want to finish it till I knew it was for real. Are you guys really gonna be my new parents?” Wanda smiled and gently placed her hand on top of (Y/n)’s head and stroked down it.
“If Ms. Soo thinks we’re good with you, then yes. We will be.”
“I know one way that can help you, follow me!” she then stood up and raced over to the toy chest and opened it up.  Inside were dozens of costumes ranging from feather boas, to every kind of hat imaginable. Donated Halloween costumes, and even some props. “Since you guys are real life heroes, do you think we could play superheroes?”
Both Vision and Wanda were a little hesitant but after seeing the hopeful look in (Y/n)’s face, they agreed.  So they want up to her and they dug through the costume chest to see what all they could find.
With the wide imagination (Y/n)’s had, her and Wanda would be the heroes while Vision was to play the giant fire breathing dinosaur.  They stacked up some blocks for the town and places the toy cars to make it feel like an actual city.  
Watching them through the double-shift mirror, Ms. Soo along with some of the other workers watched the two former heroes interact with (Y/n).
“Seems (Y/n) has finally found the family she’s always wanted.” Said one of the female workers.
“I agree.” Said a male worker.  Ms. Soo who had been watching with interest, began to realize that maybe her employers were right.
After about 10min. of playtime and just getting to know her a bit more, that’s when Ms. Soo stepped into the room.  Her face was stoic as she looked at the three of them.
Wanda and Vision stood up and Vision asked.
“Ms. Soo, is there something wrong?”
“No. As a matter of fact, I’ve seen all that I’ve wanted to see. And……you guys have proven to me that you’re meant to be her future parents.”
“Really Ms. Soo?! Wanda and Vision are gonna be my new mommy and daddy?” (Y/n) asked excitedly.
“Indeed they are. We’ll have the legal forms printed out and have you both sign them. Then in a couple of weeks you can officially move in with them to your new home.” Ecstatic about the news, (Y/n) jumped up and down happily cheering at the fact she now had a new mom and dad, not only that but her new parents were Scarlet Witch and Vision.
“Thank you Ms. Soo. Thank you.” Wanda said happily.
“No need to thank me. You’re truly shown me that you both are the perfect couple to take her in.”
So for the next couple of weeks, Wanda and Vision signed any legal papers that the orphanage would send to them, get (Y/n)’s room ready for her and buy her some new toys, clothes and get her bed all made up.
Vision was currently outside building the playground that they wanted (Y/n) to play in the backyard.  It wasn’t anything grand just the basic swing set and jointed mini-clubhouse.  But as he was reading the instructions for how to hook the swings up that’s when he heard the gossiping voices of one of the neighbors next door, Karen and Felicia.
“Have you heard about the couple next door adopting a kid?” asked Felicia.
“Yes. That poor kid, having to be adopted by a bunch of freaks.” Karen mouthed out.
“I mean Wanda’s an okay girl, but I just worry about that boyfriend of hers.”
“Like he’s a freakin machine! You’ve seen all those robot shows. What if he goes all Terminator on that poor little girl?”
“I’d feel safer if her and Wanda bailed when that robot isn’t looking.”
“Amen to that sister. Oh! Did you see the recent Housewives of Orange County….” At this point Vision stopped working and went back inside.
He phased through the wall before levitating himself up towards the master bedroom and just stood there with an array of emotions buzzing about his head. Anger, fear, hurt, heartbroken, but most of all doubt.
Was he really able to take care of a child….scratch that a human being? He was an android after all.  What hope could he possibly have of taking care of a human child? He couldn’t taste properly so there’s no way he’d be able to cook for his new daughter.  There are some human emotions that he still has trouble deciphering, so how would he know what his daughter was feeling, especially once she reached her teenage years?
“Vis?” Wanda’s voice called out to him.  He looked up and saw Wanda kneeling in front of him.  Vision soon took notice that he was now on the floor, his knees curled up close to his chest, his back up against the wall. “Are you okay?”
“Wanda I—”
“Shhh, calm down. Breathe for me.” She placed her hand to the side of his head, her fingers gently brushing against his temple and he closed his eyes taking in a few deep breaths.  “You okay now?”
“Yes. Forgive me I—don’t know what came over me.”
“You were having an anxiety attack.”
“How—how is that possible?” Vision asked.  He was an android how could he have an anxiety attack?
“I don’t know.”
“Well we’ll—we’ll worry about how that’s possible later. Do you want to tell me what it was all about?” Vision looked down with regret and he whispered softly.
“I was a fool to think I could do this.”
“What? What are you saying?”
“Me. Being a—a father. To a human child.”
“What? Vision why—why would you say something like that?”
“I’m not fully human Wanda. I mean yes I can pull the disguise but—when it all comes down to it I’m a machine. After all I was originally supposed to be Ultron’s Vision.”
“But you’re not…….”
“There could be another threat. A threat that—puts you and our……I’m sorry Wanda. I shouldn’t have even spoken up about this.”
“Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Look at me Vision.” She cupped the side of his face. Her eyes filled with concern as her brow furrowed to match the concern in her eyes. “There is nothing wrong with speaking up about something like this. I’m scared too.”
“But you’re at least human. What if I—what if I hurt her?”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I feel you. Just you. And when we played with (Y/n) just two weeks ago, I could feel just how happy you were. You will not hurt her.”
“But what if…..”
“Stop.” She held out her hand as she spoke softly.  She then moved her hand and gently with her powers, showed Vision a memory of when they first met (Y/n).
Specifically the memory of when both him and (Y/n) were playing together.  It was when she (as the superhero) had slain the reptile creature and he allowed her to climb on top of him and do a victory pose with her fake sword and shield.  After awhile that’s when he suddenly came back alive and he began to playfully tickle her.
After seeing that memory, Vision turned to Wanda and she said with a warm smile.
“That’s how I know you won’t hurt her. After just knowing her for that short 10min. of playtime. You were just like how my father was with me. Kind, caring, and a heart full of love.”
“You do realize I don’t actually have a heart right?” she arched her brow at Vision annoyed. “Right, sorry.”
“You know what I mean. What I’m trying to tell you Vis is that it doesn’t matter whether your human or machine, (Y/n) loves you for who you are, who you’re going to be to her. You’re the only father she’ll never know. And as long as you care and love her, it doesn’t matter what you look like.” Vision nodded and said to his love, tears flickering in his eyes.
“Thank you Wanda. Thank you.”
“I love you Vis. So does (Y/n). I won’t deny that we’ll probably make a million mistakes but so long as we both love her together, I know we’re doing something right.” The two of them shared a soft but loving kiss before embracing each other.
In a few days (Y/n) was soon moved into her new home and just like Wanda told him, they both loved and gave her the care she was denied from her birth parents.
Of course there were the skeptical neighbors but Vision hardly paid them any mind now, because as long as he was loved by his new daughter, that’s all that mattered to him.  
Also I won’t confirm or deny that when Wanda finally found out just who was responsible for putting doubt into Vision’s head in the first place, she may or might not have given Karen visions of her worst memories and fears, while making Felicia think she had a poltergeist in her house.
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mandowh0re · 4 years
Text
Peter’s Emergency Contact
Summary: Peter meets the Avengers. It doesn’t go well.
A/N: I’m a terrible person tell me to finish my wips. Also I’m sorry about May :(
P.s. it’s been a long time since I picked this fic up so there are some continuum issues, please forgive me.
Part1/ Part2/ Part3/ Part 4
Part 4
Putting it mildly, Peter was fucking bored. It was summer, but both Ned and MJ were on vacation with their families. And on top of that, it was way too hot to go out and do anything, including patrol. He was, however, on stand by if Karen came through with anything that required Spider-Man’s assistance.
A few floors down, the ex-Rogue Avengers were doing god knows what. They had been pardoned a month earlier and moved back into the tower. Peter had yet to meet them, though Tony seemed okay with them. But Peter didn’t really trust them.
Well, okay. He more-so didn’t trust Steve. Even though the others fought against Tony too, it was Steve that scared Tony. Peter noticed minute things that Tony would do whenever the Captain was mentioned. He’d fidget, or grab his left wrist, or rub his chest, or bite the inside of his cheek. Mostly stuff that would fly past most people.
But Peter wasn’t ‘most people’. Officially, Peter was Tony’s child. After a car accident killed May about eight months prior, Tony legally adopted Peter. Since then, Peter has learned all of Tony’s tells. Wanting to get to the bottom of these anxious ticks, Peter hacked his way around FRIDAY’s systems to figure out what had happened.
Peter wasn’t one to give into rage, but that day he spent a majority of his time in the gym or swinging through the city because he was basically vibrating from the emotion.
But they lived in the same tower, and maybe Peter was desperate for something to do, so he decided to head down to the common room where FRIDAY had informed him that a few of the Avengers were hanging out.
The elevator dinged and Peter walked out to the sight of… Christmas decorations?
“What the…” He breathed, looking around the room.
“You’re not Stark,” Natasha said, suddenly appearing in front of Peter.
Peter had to literally fight down his fanboy excitement to greet the literal Black Widow!
“Uh, no. I mean, technically I am but-”
“You’re Peter, right?” Was that a smirk? Peter couldn't tell.
“Uh, y-yeah. How-?”
“I have my ways of finding things out,” Okay, now that was a smile, “I haven’t told anyone though. So you’ll have to introduce yourself to them.” She said as she tossed her head to the side, motioning to the others on the floor.
“Oh, right.”
Peter followed Natasha farther into the room, gaining the attention of the rest of the crew including Wanda Maximoff, Vision (who Peter had actually met before), Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, and Bruce (who Peter had also met before as he and Thor showed up about two months after May’s death).
“Uh, who’s the child, Nat?” Clint asked, sitting on the kitchen island.
Natasha looked at Peter, who began picking at the hem of his shirt. A nervous tick of his own.
“Uh, hi, Mister Barton. I’m Peter. Uh, Peter Parker. Or, Peter Parker-Stark now I guess? I’m-”
“Wait, excuse me, Parker-Stark? Since when the hell did Stark have a child?” Sam cut in.
“Let him finish,” Wanda berated the man, who seemed to currently be baking cookies, “Go on,” She said to the other teenager in the room, smiling kindly.
“Right, so uh, Tony hired me as his personal intern like two years ago, and we got pretty close. My aunt died last December and since she was my last family, Tony took me in and adopted me.” Immediately after mentioning his aunt’s death, almost everyone in the room looked at him with pity.
“I’m sorry kid,” That was Clint again, “Life sucks sometimes.”
“I’m adjusting,” Peter replied, but he quickly changed the subject, “Why are you decorating for Christmas? It’s almost a hundred degrees outside, not to mention it’s July.”
“Ah, that was my idea!” Sam called from the kitchen where he was currently pulling cookies out of the oven, “Since we’re on house arrest until further notice, I thought we could entertain ourselves with Christmas in July. It’s something we used to do when I was younger.”
“Oh, that sounds fun!”
“You’re welcome to join, kid.” Bruce called from his spot on the couch.
“Really? Thanks guys!” Peter jumped onto a seat at the island.
“Have a cookie, man.” Sam said, holding out a plate of santa shaped sugar cookies.
“Aw sweet!” The boy grabbed one and took a bite, “Thanks!”
About fifteen minutes passed by when Peter’s senses upped a few notches.
“Any cookies left, Sam?”
Peter nearly choked on his current cookie and jumped up to see Steve Rogers walking out of the elevator.
“Yep, a few plates full. There’s sugar, gingerbread, and chocolate chip.”
A few seconds passed before the super soldier noticed Peter.
“Um, hello. I’m Steve, you are?” He offered a hand for Peter to shake.
Peter tried to respond, but the room suddenly began spinning. He gripped onto the counter to steady himself.
“Son?” Steve asked.
“Don’ call me tha’,” Peter tried to glare, but he wasn’t even sure he was controlling his face properly.
Out of nowhere his legs gave out, and black began overtaking his vision.
A chorus of exclamations rang out as everyone ran over to tend to the boy. Fortunately and unfortunately, Steve was the closest and was the one to grab Peter before he hit the ground.
“No! Let me go!” He struggled against Steve’s arms to no avail.
“Calm down, son, I’m just-”
“What happened?” Bruce asked, feeling for Peter’s pulse.
“He just collapsed.” Sam answered.
Then Peter began seizing.
“Fuck, Sam, start a timer to time the seizure. Steve, pick him up and bring him to the medbay with me. Natasha, call Tony.”
“Why are we calling Tony?” Steve asked, following Bruce into the elevator.
It was silent for a moment where Bruce and Nat exchanged glances before Bruce answered, “He’s Tony’s kid.”
“Since when-”
“Later Steve. One thing at a time.”
***
“This better be important. Like, life or death because you pulled me out of a meeting and Pepper-”
“Shut up, Stark. Something is wrong with Peter.”
Tony was quiet for a moment before growling back, “Explain, Romanoff. Now.”
“I don’t know, Tony. He came down and introduced himself and was hanging out with us when he just collapsed and started seizing. We’re taking him to the medbay now-”
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I’m in DC. I’ll have to come back with the suit but it’ll still take me an hour.”
“What do you want me to-”
“Do not let him out of your sight, Nat. I don’t want him waking up alone and you and Bruce are the only two I trust enough to watch him. Keep me updated, I’ll let you know when I’m there.”
“Got it.”
***
“He’s showing symptoms of anaphylactic shock,” Bruce said to the other two occupants after injecting Peter with an anticonvulsant, “ FRIDAY, is Peter allergic to anything? Override code six one three three nine seven five.”
“Peter is allergic to peppermint, and as well has severe reactions when in close vicinity to insect repellents.”
“Was there peppermint in Sam’s cookies?”
“One moment, Doctor Banner.” A few seconds passed before the AI came back with an answer, “Mister Wilson has supplied that the sugar cookies had peppermint extract in them.”
“Peter had several of those,” Nat said quietly.
“Okay, okay at least I can work with that. Steve,” Bruce called to the soldier while pulling out an epinephrine pen, “I think it’d be better if you waited with everyone else. Thank you for helping.”
Steve wanted to argue, but he looked at Nat who seemed to agree with Bruce.
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else.” He offered before walking out the door.
As soon as the door shut behind him Nat spoke, “If Peter hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself I’m pretty sure he would have punched Steve.”
Bruce finished injecting the medicine and pulled the pen away from Peter’s thigh, “He still might.”
Natasha helped Bruce fix an IV drip in Peter’s arm in silence.
“You don’t have to stay, I can watch him until Tony gets here.” Bruce offered.
“He won’t be here for another forty five minutes. Plus, I’m supposed to keep watch. Stark’s orders.”
Bruce nodded in understanding, “His vitals are starting to return to normal. I’ll go update the others.”
“I’ll call Tony.”
***
Peter felt like he’d been hit by a train.
Had he?
Honestly he couldn’t remember what had happened. He opened his eyes to see Tony next to his bed (why was he in the medbay?) talking to someone on the other side of his bed. Soon his ears stopped ringing and he heard another hushed voice. Probably whoever Tony was talking to. Why did Tony look upset?
Peter turned his head to see Steve standing there.
And
What?
Without really having his wits about him yet, Peter jumped up and shoved the man back, pulling and knocking over his IV stand in the process.
“Woah, Pete! Calm down-”
“What? You didn’t get to kill him in Siberia so you thought you’d come and finish the job while I’m out?” Peter practically snarled.
Steve’s eyes blew wide, shock and shame overtaking his features, “Son, I-”
“And stop calling me that!” Peter shoved again, sending the captain into the wall, leaving a sizable crack.
“Peter!” Tony yelled, grabbing at the kid’s arm, “Calm down, bud. He’s not here to hurt me, or you for that matter. Can you please sit back down before you give me another damn heart attack?”
Peter obliged but his eyes never left Steve, who looked to be in too much of shock to really say anything.
“Cap, let the team know he’s awake, will ya?” It really wasn’t a suggestion or a question, more like a thinly veiled disguise to get him out of the room before Peter decided he hadn’t had enough.
Nodding, Steve hightailed it out of the room, but not before looking back at Peter and offering a quick apology.
It was quiet for a few moments, in which time Tony set the IV stand back up and made sure Peter’s IV was still in place. Finally the older man spoke, “Pete, buddy, what was all that about? How do you know what happened in Siberia?”
Peter’s demeanor fell slightly as he came back to himself, “Wasn’t hard to guess.”
“Mhmm. Wanna try again? Maybe with the truth this time?” Tony said as he sat back down next to his kid.
Peter crossed his arms and looked down at the floor.
“I hacked FRIDAY,” He mumbled.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Tony asked.
Peter sighed audibly before repeating himself, louder this time, “I hacked FRIDAY.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because you were beat up and withdrawn after we got back from Germany. Which, okay, fine. We weren’t in a place for you to tell me what happened. But then the pardon for them was beginning to go through and every time Steve was even mentioned, you had these reactions like you were nervous or something. And I wanted to know why. I already had a pretty good idea. Then I saw the footage and I just… I don’t want him near you..”
“Peter, buddy. Look at me, please,” Tony gently held the boy’s chin and turned his head so that he looked at Tony, “Thank you for looking out for me. But that’s not your responsibility,”
“Yes it is! I can’t-” His throat catches and a lump forms, tears making their way to the surface, “I’ve lost everyone because I couldn’t protect them. I can’t lose you too.”
Tony pulls Peter in for a hug, and cards his fingers through the kid’s curls, “It’s okay to cry, honey. But I’m not going anywhere. Remember that. The universe will have to personally fight me before I let anything get between us. Understood?” Peter nodded slightly, but clung to his father’s shirt as he cried.
Eventually Peter fell asleep in Tony’s arms.
“I love you, kid. I’m not going anywhere.” Tony whispered, placing a kiss on top of the curls on his kid’s head.
And yes. Peter did end up punching Captain America. We don’t bring that up.
***
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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years
Note
Ooh, okay, "defensive bills" please, and "self indulgent B w/ braces"? (Oh, and if it's not too many, "Billy’s H&M hair" and "broken necklace oops" and "role swap au" please??")
defensive bills- this one is like a sibling bonding thing. Max is autistic bc that’s my favorite ever, and Mike calls her a slur (not maliciously kids are just like that, especially in the 80s), and her heart is broken. She initially doesn’t tell anyone about it because she feels like she’s overreacting, but she lets it slip what’s bothering her after the next time it happens. She makes Billy promise her however that he’s not going to be nasty to the kids to make them stop, so instead he goes above the kids’ heads to Karen, since he’s already got some pull there, and gets Mike in trouble.
Max trusts Billy a teensy bit more, and he benefits from this too because he’s learning like, rational solutions to life’s problems instead of just freaking out and attacking people. After a long time of this apprehensive trust thing they’ve got going on, Billy admits to Max that he had a little sister that his momma took with her when she left, and that’s why it was so hard for him to get along with her, and why he still was so aggressively protective of her even though they didn’t get along.
self indulgent B w/ braces- I had this thought about like, what if Neil had knocked a couple of Billy’s teeth out when he hit him as a kid. They were baby teeth so they came back, but maybe too many come in at once, so there wasn’t enough room and there’s one up in his gums causing trouble.
Years and years down the line, he’s living with Joyce now after being removed from Neil’s custody, and she makes Billy go to all his doctors and dentists appointments because she’s actually a responsible mother. But at the dentist they’re like holy hell kid your mouth is messed up, so he has to very begrudgingly get braces to get everything back in order before his wisdom teeth come in and knock every thing crooked, which would be a worse problem so he agrees to let it happen.
Basically the entire fic is Billy being nasty to everyone around him because he’s A) constantly irritated by the constant pain in his mouth B) afraid that if he lets them, people are going to make fun of him C) not allowed to smoke anymore because of yellow spots and D) already struggling to adapt to the new environment that is living with the Byers’. Also features Max poking lots of lighthearted fun at him for being a metal mouth, and an exploration of the root of his self confidence issues/why he holds so much value in his appearance!
Billy’s H&M hair- so I got to thinking about how his hair looks mostly unstyled in that shoot, and I took inspiration from that to write a fic. There was almost a fluffy reason for it, but you know me, I love angst, so instead, Billy’s hair is a mess, all frizzy and loose and greasy, because Max ran away again and he was told not to come back home without her. He’s been at it forever, so he’s exhausted and just too busy looking for her to take any care of himself.
He ends up at Scoops looking for her because he knows that’s where the kids flock sometimes, and when he asks Steve if he knows where they are, he forget about the black eye and the scab in his eye brow put there by Neil, and pushes his sun glasses up. Steve is like dude, what happened to your face, and Billy just doesn’t even have it in him to lie anymore, so he tells Steve all about Neil and everything that’s happening with Max right now.
Max is found, but before Billy can take her home, Steve slips him his number, thinking he’s being nice and offering him help if anything like this were to happen again, but Billy takes it in that way, so even though he looks like a total disaster right now, and he definitely cried when Max came back, he winks at Steve and makes a little I’ll call you later gesture. Steve is more than a little flustered by the mix-up but definitely not opposed to it!
broken necklace oops- Billy fidgets a lot with his necklace, which was his momma’s, just running the pendant across the chain over and over again, but then it snaps one day. Him and Steve were hanging out when it broke, and Steve offers to help fix it, but Billy is so upset that he takes it the wrong way, thinking that Steve wants to fix him, and they get in a big fight over it.
Billy storms off and ends up getting flayed, so when Steve doesn’t hear anything from him in the next few days he thinks it’s just because they’re done, broken up after the things that were said when they fought. Except he still has the necklace, Billy had thrown it at him and he kept it for a few days hoping he’d come back, but he gives up and he goes to return it at the pool, but he walks in on the sauna test. Cue a little bit of panic, a lot of arguing, and Steve helping to save Billy before it’s too late.
role swap au- This is a super long fic, it’s basically a rewrite of all three seasons with Billy and Steve switching places!
So Steve is the rich kid from California in big trouble with his parents for being rebellious and a pinch of homosexual galavanting, so he gets sent to the small town his father grew up in as punishment. Billy’s already the King of Hawkins High, but his status at the top of the high school hierarchy is slipping because he’s too busy for parties now that his kid sister got him caught up in this monster hunting nonsense.
Bratty Steve arrives in town, and Billy is somewhat interested in this new kid and what he has to offer until he starts to steal his attention away. They have their little pissing contest with Steve coming out on top because Billy refuses to fight him, but Billy can’t be bothered with picking up the pieces of his social life because Max says the monsters are back and she’s making him take her and her friends out to some junkyard and shit.
The summer of ‘85 rolls around, Billy’s been officially kicked out by Neil for being a mooch and his friends have all abandoned ship for the new Cali boy who stole his thunder, but honestly, he doesn’t really care because he’s got a super cool new best friend working at Scoops anyways, and he’s pretty sure they’re done with the monsters.
But then Steve, who is working as a lifeguard and who Billy bumps into after a party, gets flayed, and Billy is the one that’s concerned, because Steve’s friends aren’t really loyal nor do the kids know or care about him. The stuff with the Russians goes mostly (emphasis on mostly) ignored because Billy’s making the kids help him with Steve, but they aren’t able to get the mind flayer out of Steve because a distraction with Dustin trying to handle the transmission himself comes up.
In the end at the battle of Starcourt, Billy decides to try to step in because he was supposed to be taking responsibility for Steve, and he’s screwed everything else up and he realizes in another world, they could’ve been friends, so he tries to push Steve out of the way. They both catch a couple of the little stabs and they definitely still need medical attention but nobody get impaled so they all live!
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What is social proof? It’s a marketing concept that we are all inadvertently, unknowingly contributing to every time we click on, retweet, like, reply or comment, and share any kind of social media, article, or blog post on the net. Technically, social proof, as defined by Sprout Social is:
The concept that people will follow the actions of the masses. The idea is that since so many other people behave in a certain way, it must be the correct behavior.
Social Proof and Me
As an author, social media is a hugely important part of my author platform, as it is for any writer or blogger. This is how we connect with readers now, even before the pandemic. Virtual, online events are now the norm. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube Live video discussions are the new book signings. Twitter chats are weekly on any number of topics; I have two of my own, in fact, #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est and #BookMarketingChat every Wednesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est.
All important for visibility, branding, and most importantly, connection.
However…there’s a limit. I reached my limit over the course of this past year. It didn’t come all at once. It came, little by little, reaching a peak this past month or so.
Why? How? Me, the so-called social media expert?
Access. Like many people, I have issues with the incredible level of access Facebook gives people once we friend them without our consent. PMs (private messages) are automatic, now with the ability for people to call, voice, and video message us, with no option to shut these options to OFF unless we unfriend the person (we can, however, mute a specific conversation). Technically, we do give them consent in the legal mumbo jumbo we all agreed to when we joined back in the 2010s.
I am not okay with this. And Facebook doesn’t care. Nobody cares. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Karen. Shut up, already. Stop your whining, white lady.” I get it. I do. First-world problems.
I counter with: I hear you. It’s also part of my business. A huge part. Here’s why:
As someone who manages over 70+ various social media accounts as part of my BadRedhead Media business, plus my own accounts as well, Facebook requires I have a personal account in order to manage all those other Pages. I do understand why, particularly with all the ridiculousness of the past four years with the abundance of fake accounts, fake news, and such.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and stalking, this is ultra-concerning to me. So, what happened this past month or so? Suffice it to say, one person repeatedly tried calling me. I never pick up Facebook calls, especially if I don’t know you. Another left me a few voice messages saying they were offended by something.
Yet another left me another message in ALL SHOUTY CAPS that she didn’t find what I posted inspirational enough and she expected better from someone who is “supposedly on the side of authors.”
Oh, and there is the one lady who started replying on ALL my posts to the kind people who did comment that she didn’t think I replied often enough or to her satisfaction.
Well. I’ve been criticized before. You should read some of my 1-star reviews. There’s plenty!
But, for whatever reason, this struck a chord. I got up in my feels. I cried. I talked with one of them and we worked it out because we like and respect each other’s work in the mental health space. The others I blocked. It’s darn frustrating to donate hours of my time each week to helping writers solely because I want to, only to be told it’s not enough. Like, seriously? Fuck off.
My blood raged. My heart sank. Understandable, right?
But what really made me angry is that I put myself in that position by being available. I accepted that ‘it is what it is.’ This is what the social media platforms have given us, so that’s what I have to work within.
I’m too available. It’s too easy to leave me shitty messages. This is why people hire people like me – to handle this crap for them! So they don’t have to read these ridiculous criticisms from judgy people who apparently have nothing better to do or are having a bad day.
And I get bad days. It’s a damn pandemic. We’re all struggling. Where’s the damn compassion for one another?
I have a dislike/hate relationship with Facebook anyway, since about ten or so years ago when I discovered that a past love had died by suicide by going to his personal profile and seeing, “RIP dude,” messages there. We had spoken early that day. It still haunts me.
So…what to do? I’m claiming my time. I’m not posting to my personal Facebook profile right now. I’m ignoring it. I am checking my Pages and of course, my client Pages. When I feel like I can face it again, I will cull my ‘friends’ down from *checks real quick* 4385 people to maybe, I don’t know, the few hundred in my groups, many of whom I do know and treasure.
Social Proof and You
If you’re a writer, social proof matters. This is the world we live in. Publishing is not only writing.
You need to be ‘findable,’ not only on Google, but also on each individual social platform, so your readers can learn more about you and hopefully, buy your books. If you go the traditional route, publishers and agents want to know how many followers you have (easily upped by buying fake followers or likes from Fiverr or wherever). I suggest not doing that, because:
1) fake followers don’t buy books 
2) it’s usually pretty obvious when you have fake followers because they’re all foreign names, have questionable bios, and no tweets
3) do you really want to start your publishing career with a lie? 
They also want to know what you post, how often, and what your branding is. If you’re an indie author, honestly, the same applies. Social proof is about connection, building relationships, and authenticity. I’ve believed that since I started my business and writing career way back in 2011, and I stand by it now. Start slow, grow slow. It’s not a race.
I’m the furthest thing you’ll even find from a conspiracy theorist – I don’t believe in chemtrails, pizza parlor cabals, or that the earth is flat. However, I am a realist. Watch The Social Dilemma sometime. These huge tech companies share our data without our knowledge or consent (Cambridge Analytics, anyone?). Younger generations are so used to this, they don’t really care – ask them.
(My kids think having a chip implanted in their hands with all their data is a fabulous idea. “So much easier than having to talk and repeat everything over and over. Just scan me and be done with it,” says my daughter Anya (21). “Agree,” grunts my son, Lukas (15). Buy stuff, go to the doctor, whatever. Scan and go. Talk with any GenZ kid, you’ll likely get a similar answer. They’ve been tracked since birth everywhere. They don’t know life without a computer, tablet, or phone in their hands.)
Know that whatever we do, it’s all part of each platforms’ AI, and they share data, which is why that darling pair of shoes you just saw on Amazon is now showing up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, and every website you visit going forward. It’s all about the money, and they all get a piece of that affiliate link.
Every bit of every click is recorded, even when you’re watching videos on YouTube, or a subscription service like Netflix, or perusing goods on Amazon. It’s all connected. I’m not shocked or surprised by any of this, are you?
It’s Not Personal
What people say to us and about us is ultimately incredibly revealing about them. We know this, at an intellectual, psychological, and emotional level. Still, when people say mean things, it hurts. We’re human.
Does it matter in the overall scope of our lives? Who can say. It matters at that moment. It can matter when it comes to overall visibility when you’re marketing your book(s) or trying to get that book contract or interview. Only you can say if it matters to you.
Already a longtime fan of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, I took a moment to reorient myself with this one agreement: Don’t take anything personally. I also stumbled across an excellent short and entertaining TEDTalk by Frederick Imbo. His main message to stop taking things personally is two-fold;
It’s not about me. Look at the other person’s intention and
It IS about me. Give yourself some empathy. Speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel and be vulnerable with your needs.
I’m glad I was able to, inadvertently, employ point #2 and work out some issues with one of the people by telling him what he said made me cry. He apologized. I apologized. We talked it through and we’re still friends.
Ultimately, social media is what we contribute to it. What we make it. How much we allow of it into our lives. Social proof is going along with the tide. I’ve been in this space since 2008. Being connected to others is a big part of the work I do to help and support not only other writers, but also other childhood sexual abuse survivors. However, I’ve reached that point. I knew it was coming.
I’m not shutting my doors. I’m just adding a screen. With a strong lock.
***
Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.
She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in
Broken Places, available in print everywhere!
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The post What Is Social Proof and Does It Matter, Really? appeared first on Rachel Thompson.
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runpogorun · 3 years
Text
Gravity
To fill my Marvel Fluff Bingo square, Astronomer AU. No warnings apply, rated G, Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson, 2759 words. Read it here or over on AO3.
Matt makes his way slowly into the room. The first thing he finds is the couch in the middle, presumably facing the TV, so Matt circles it slowly, his cane tapping lightly between the heavy thud of upholstery on his left and the hollow chink of wooden skirting board. The cane makes a higher tink as it collides with a metal structure and Matt reaches out with his hand, searching, and confirms a metal cabinet. He continues sweeping his cane across the hardwood floor, wary of any rugs, as his hands skate the surface of the cabinet finding photo frames, three clustered plant pots. He sends some loose sheets of paper skating off the surface and freezes, trying to track their direction of flight. 
“Don’t worry about it!” Foggy calls from the kitchen. “I’ll get them.” 
Matt turns his head over his shoulder, towards Foggy, and grins sheepishly. “Sorry. Comes with the territory.”
Foggy tsks quietly. “It’s not a problem. They’re just bills. You said whisky, right?”
Matt nods, “Yes, thanks,” and resumes his exploration. There’s an open doorway just past the cabinet, and Matt pauses, head tilted. “This the bathroom?”
“Yup.”
Matt moves his cane again, and it twangs in his hand with another metal vibration. But this doesn’t feel as heavy as the cabinet. He frowns, and reaches forward as he hears Foggy come up behind him.
“Oh, that’s a little more fragile, but feel free to… feel away.”
Intriguing. Matt stretches through space and finds smooth, painted metal with his fingertips. The metal is curved into a tube, and as his fingers move along it they find an encircling ridge. The object gives under his touch, and he finds the pivot point, the tripod suspending it. He tucks his cane under his arm and takes a step forward, using both hands to get a better idea of its dimensions.
Matt turns his head back in Foggy’s direction. “Is a telescope actually useful in New York City?”
Foggy makes a considering noise. “It’s alright. Not as good as, say, the Socorro Desert. But I can still see things.”
“Does your apartment have roof access?”
“Not the apartment itself, but the super lets me use the service stairs. 
“Nice.”
“Yeah.”
Matt files that away, drops his hands and turns towards Foggy. “Shall we sit?”
“Sure.” Foggy moves towards the couch. “Did you find the couch? It’s over here.” He pats the cushion with an open palm, a firm thump of orienting sound.
Matt smiles at him. “Yes, thanks.” There’s a coffee table as well that Foggy forgot to mention, but he expected that. He folds up his cane and drops it on the coffee table and sits down next to Foggy before accepting his drink. “So, what sort of things do you like to look at? You’re not a creeper, are you?” He takes a sip, revelling as always in the first burn.
Foggy laughs loudly at that. “No. I’m an astronomer.”
Matt tilts his head. “You said you were a teacher.”
“I am. I teach Observational Astronomy and Cosmology at NYU.”
Matt laughs. “And here I was, thinking you were a dance teacher.” Foggy had held the class in his palm, everyone drawn to him, like he had the strongest gravitational pull in the room. It had only taken three classes for Matt to succumb, and accept an invitation for a drink.
“That’s just a hobby. I like to boogie. And it’s a good way to meet people,” Foggy says, nudging Matt with his elbow.  
Matt raises his glass, and Foggy clinks them together. “Slainte. So, do you do this often?” He takes a sip.
“Meet people?”
“Bring strange men back to your apartment.”
Foggy laughs at that. “Strangers are friends we haven’t yet met. But, honestly? No. I don’t.”
Matt considers that. He, in contrast, does do this often, but usually only once or twice with the same person. Matt’s a comet, shooting in and out, plenty of noise and fuss but little substance.
“How about you,” Foggy asks.
“Me?” Matt mentally scans through all the men and women he’s dated in recent history. This may not be the moment to share that information.
“How do you make your crust?”
“Oh.” Matt leans back against the couch cushions and stretches an arm along the seat back, towards Foggy. “I’m a lawyer,” he says, mouth quirking in a slight smile, and waits for the inevitable praise. People are always impressed.
“Oh cool. I nearly did Law,” Foggy says. People often say this - it’s one of those throwaway lines. But then he adds, “I was aiming for Columbia but then… I took an intro to Astronomy class over the summer after high school and I sort of… fell into the stars.”
Matt tilts his head. “Tell me about it.”
Foggy hums, consideringly. “I’d always been interested, you know?” he says. “But I hadn’t really thought that it could be my job. I thought it would be fun to take the class, that it would be interesting. So I did.”
“Always a solid choice, choosing the interesting.”
“It was residential, close to an observatory. One morning we got up in the middle of the night, and towards dawn I saw the Orion Nebula. It’s near Orion’s Belt.  And it was so beautiful, and unknown. I wanted more. I couldn’t stop thinking of what else must be out there. 
“I mean, we do know a lot now, especially when a probe like Juno fires back information, but also a lot of it we can’t exactly know. No one knows what it’s like to stand on the surface of Eros, not really. Or what the Helix Nebula looks like from the inside. We can model it, sure, but we can’t know. I was hungry to find out what I could. I was hooked.” Foggy stops, abruptly, and Matt can hear him sip his drink.
Matt is struck by the emotion in Foggy’s voice, growing with every word. “That’s a great story,” he says. “Not everyone finds their passion, or follows it.
Foggy takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Yeah. You know, I don’t usually tell people all that, right out of the blocks.”
“I guess I should feel honoured,” Matt says.
“You should, my friend,” Foggy says, the humour back in his voice.
Matt angles his head towards the telescope in the corner. “And that. Do you use it often?”
“Uh yeah, I do, actually.” Matt can hear Foggy shifting against the cushions, like he’s embarrassed again, caught out. “I mean, it’s no match for the Keck telescopes, but it still lets me look. I like looking.”
“Why don’t you show me?” Matt suggests. “I mean, if it’s a good night for it.”
Foggy holds his breath for a moment, then lets out a puff of laughter. “Sure. Why not.” 
It takes a minute to get sorted. Matt snaps out his cane, stashes the whisky bottle under his free arm and holds the glasses in that hand. Foggy is gentle, almost reverent, with the telescope as he folds up the tripod. They head out the apartment door, Foggy and telescope leading, Matt and whisky following, and up the stairwell to the roof. 
The summer air is still warm, but cooler than the oppressive heat of the day. “Over here,” Foggy says. There’s a table and a couple of chairs set up to one side, and Matt settles down to listen as Foggy fusses over the equipment.
“You do do this often.”
“Mmm. It’s nice up here. Quiet.”
Matt listens to the sound of cars rushing in the street below. It’s muffled, sure, and you can’t ever escape cars in New York City. But Foggy’s right. It is peaceful.
“What do you see?”
“There’s still some light in the sky from the sun, but Mars is close and bright. And Venus. Not that I need the telescope for them.”
“You don’t?”
“Not to find them. They’re just like bright stars. But it’s not really dark enough yet. I’ll wait a bit.” The other chair creaks as Foggy sinks into it. “Tell me about your law practice, Matt. Are you a corporate hotshot?”
“Not so much.” Matt shrugs. “It’s just me and my partner Kirsten, and our paralegal Karen. I mostly do what Kirsten says.”
“Partner?”
“Business partner,” Matt says, smiling at Foggy. “Best friend from law school.” 
“What kind of work do you do?”
“Small stuff, mostly. Tenancy disputes, work visas, that kind of thing. Most of our clients come from here in the Kitchen.”
“Sticking up for the little guy!” Foggy cries. “Show me some skin.” Matt holds up his palm and Foggy high fives him. “That’s what I wanted to do.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Well, like I said, it was the stars. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d learned in that in astronomy class. And I’m good at Math, so that helps. I ended up switching from Philosophy to Physics before the year started. And then I went on to get my doctorate at UC Davis. My parents were devastated when they realised I wasn’t going to drive a Bentley” he says, laughing.
Matt laughs with him. “Academia isn’t really a way to make money, is it?”
“It’s really, really not. Not like law. Mom wanted me to be a butcher but that was never going to happen, so at least I could have done something which would have made me rich. Such a disappointment.”
Matt laughs at that. “You sound like me. I’ll never be rich.”
“Your family counting on you for the bucks, too?”
Matt sobers. “Uh, not exactly.” He needs to get off this topic, now. “How far into the galaxy do you usually look?”
“The radiotelescope guys look right back in time, as far as we can look. But I kind of like our neighbourhood - our solar system. Each planet in our solar system is a whole world. Well, obviously they literally are worlds. They’re suspended, hanging in the enormous void of space. They look so serene, from Earth, as they hurtle through the endless blackness, but they’re dynamic and complex. Did you know that the Great Red Spot on Jupiter is so large that two Earths could fit side by side inside it? It’s an enormous storm that’s been raging for at least 150 years, probably much longer.”
Matt shakes his head. “I don’t know much about any of it.”
“We’re all so far from each other, and together at the same time. Once you leave our solar system it’s 25 trillion miles to the next one.”
“The next galaxy?”
“The next solar system. Our galaxy is fifty-two thousand light years across.”
Matt shakes his head. It’s too big a number to make sense.
“We’re bound by gravity to the rest of our solar system. There are so many stars and planets out beyond the Kuiper Belt,” Foggy continues, “And we’ll never be able to reach them. We can’t even see most of what we know is out there, we just have to make an educated guess at it, work it out from the clues.”
Matt half-smiles to himself, and takes a sip of his drink. “Seeing and knowing are two different things.”
“Uh, yeah, of course, I didn’t mean to--” 
Matt cuts him off with the wave of his hand. “So you took the class, and fell in love with astronomy?”
“Oh no, that happened much earlier. Growing up in the city I never saw that many stars, you know? When I was eleven I went away on summer camp to this place upstate. We stayed in these little cabins in the woods by a lake, just outside a small town. It was weird - so quiet, but sometimes you’d hear a wild animal. And at night, the stars! I didn’t know the sky could be like that. Like grains of sand scattered across a velvet blanket. I’d sneak out in the middle of the night when the sky was truly dark, and the entire sky was covered with stars. The trees were only visible as the places where the stars weren’t. 
“I discovered later that Aboriginal people in Australia, who live in the desert where obviously it’s really dark and the sky is very clear, have constellations that are the darker areas between the stars. The reverse of us who live with more light pollution. All people look up at the stars. We all wonder.”
Foggy suddenly sounds like he’s come back to himself, remembered where he was. “I’m sorry, I’m doing all the talking and this is probably really boring.”
“No,” Matt says quietly. “It’s not. I’ve never heard a description like this before. I-” He cuts himself off, unsure how to carry on without making himself sound wistful, and smiles. “I like it. I like listening to your voice.”
Foggy makes a quiet, pleased sound. “That’s a great line. I feel like I should be saying things with gravitas, or beautiful things. She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars,” he quotes.
“Now that’s pretty,” Matt says.
“It’s Neil Gaiman. And he’s right, about the stars and planets dancing, caught in each other’s gravity.”
Matt smiles. “So then, tell me,” he prompts, gesturing upwards. “What’s there to see tonight? You said Venus?”
“Let’s see.” Foggy stands and goes again to the telescope. Matt hears the quiet scrape of metal as Foggy adjusts the focus. “There’s Jupiter. It’s high and bright right now. And Venus and Mars.” 
Foggy’s quiet, and Matt considers how far away his focus is. It’s hard for Matt to have a clear impression of anything beyond the reach of his hands - when he’s not touching something it could be anywhere, just out of reach or miles away. But Foggy looks at planets thousands of miles away, places he can never touch but he knows.
“Sometimes it’s better not to use the telescope at all,” Foggy says. “The Leonids meteor shower is going to arrive in a couple of months, and that’s better observed with the naked eye.”
“What are meteor showers like?”
“Fireworks. Bright, white hot stripes painting the sky. Streaking across the heavens.”
“But no boom.” Matt places his empty glass on the small table next to the bottle, and his glasses alongside.
“Good point! And several nights in a row. I’m looking forward to it.” Foggy sounds like he’s turned back to the telescope. 
Matt stands, the whisky now making him loose-limbed and easy, and walks slowly towards Foggy. His hand is slightly extended, reaching for the tune Foggy’s humming under his breath - it’s Drops of Jupiter. He clears his throat. “And what do you see, closer to home?” His voice is low and husky.
Foggy jumps and turns and his arm bumps Matt’s hand. “Oh! Um. Well.” Matt hears him take a quick breath, as Matt brings his hand to rest on Foggy’s shoulder. “I can see at least one beautiful thing.”
“That’s very cheesy,” Matt says, sliding his hand up to Foggy’s neck, then further to cup his cheek. He fans his thumb across to Foggy’s mouth, finding a goatee, and feels Foggy lean in to match him. “But I like it,” he breathes.
Foggy makes a small noise of pleasure for the brief moment that his warm, soft lips are pressed against Matt’s own. Matt brings his other hand to Foggy’s face, sliding both hands back and finding that Foggy’s hair is pulled back into a low pony.
“I didn’t think long hair would be allowed, Professor?” Matt asks.
Foggy huffs a laugh. “It’s Doctor to you, and anything goes these days.” He rests his forehead against Matt’s. “I like you,” he says, breathless.
“Really,” Matt says, one eyebrow lifted.
“I promise I’m usually better at… Words. And things.”
“What sort of things.”
“Oh, I can totally show you. But I feel obligated at this point to tell you that my super has a CCTV camera on this rooftop, and he is probably watching us right now because that’s the kind of guy he is. So, maybe we could take this back downstairs? If I’ve wooed you enough with the stars.”
“I could stand to hear more,” Matt says. “But yes, let’s go inside, and continue the story there.” And Matt follows Foggy again, drawn along by his gravity. He wonders what happens to a comet that gets caught in a gravitational field it can’t escape, wonders if he’s going to find out.
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