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blue-jisungs · 1 year

Text

baby fever

a/n. listen. listen. i don’t like babies. but–

warnings. damn once or twice, slightly suggestive but not really lol

you love jungkook. and you love every little and big aspect of dating him. he’s just so in love with you, even your grandma says she feels a little jealous. your friends say that you fell first but he fell harder and it shows.

not only through the little gestures like leaving sticky notes all over the place with i love yous and don’t forget to text me when he’s going to be out for the next days. or when he held your hair gently once you got a food poisoning and spent all your night vomiting in the bathroom.

but also – which comes with dating an idol, you guess – the big things. one day jungkook asked you about your dream place to visit and the other, on your anniversary, there you were with him by your side. or he just spoils you in general.

you could never complain. you love him. you really do.

but there’s something you can’t do and you really miss it sometimes.

simple dates.

cafes, cinemas or ice skating. sure, if you wanted to jungkook would have rented the whole cinema for you just to watch a movie.

but you don’t want to. when you recall your dating life before jk, even though it was unsuccessful it was fun. and nowadays you barely meet with others anymore (if we don’t count co-workers)

and with jungkook, being the worldwide star he is, you can’t normally go out.

(not only because that you might have get hurt if the fans realise but above all you don’t want to risk his career…)

that’s why when your friend offered you to come by for a coffee, you agreed. you cling onto every kind of unusual activity you can get, so your friend giggled at your enthusiasm.

you baked a cake by yourself (well, with small help from jungkook) and cleaned the whole place.

your friend arrived with her baby.

you were surprised to say at least but hey, you like kids so you didn’t protest.

“so? tell me how are you? it feels like ages since we’ve seen each other” your friend, hana, asked placing her three year old daughter – jimin – on her lap.

“i’m good! nothing new, honestly. i can see this pretty baby grew up, huh?” you giggled and henry pinched jimin’s squishy cheek “god, she’s so cute i wanna cry”

her big brown eyes glared at you in awe and hana laughed.

“but what’s up with you and jungkook?” she asked, wiggling her brows

“what do you mean? we’re good” you scoffed and jimin squeaked

“oh, y/n. i mean marriage! come on, you must have thought about it! you’ve been dating for what? five years…?” hana sighed and her gaze shifted. you shook your head, reaching for a cup of coffee “you wanna hold her?”

“of course!” you grinned, patting you lap. bam, who usually jumps on jungkook when he does that gesture, run up to you. jimin let out a high pitched giggle.

hana put her on your lap carefully and the baby immediately held onto your arm. bam came closer and sniffed her.

“look, doggy! here, you can pet him” you talked to jimin in baby voice, grabbing her small chubby hand and gently petting bam with it. hana tapped your arm to let you know that she’s going to the bathroom and when you looked up to nod, you saw jungkook in the doorway.

“hi kookie” you smiled sweetly, looking down because jimin started babbling

“what’s… what’s going on?” jungkook asked, coming up to you.

“well hana came over for a coffee with her daughter. isn’t she the cutest?” you asked, pouting.

the truth was he was standing there for a while. the moment he saw you with a baby on your lap his heart rate sped up. he didn’t know why but there was just… this motherly aura around you.

“…kook?”

he snapped back, not even realising that he wasn’t focused. you were smiling so endearingly at him, the baby giggling cutely and bam licking her hand…

“huh?” he blinked. you broke into a chuckle and pulled him closer by his shirt

“i think i’m in love”

“well of course–” he grinned

“with her, dumbass” you laughed “can we kidnap her?”

jimin made grabby hands at bam.

“honey, i’m sure hana wouldn’t like this” your boyfriend hummed and patted the girl’s head. then he got an idea

“well she doesn’t has to know” you murmured, booping her nose “right? right jimin? ah, i can’t…”

jungkook grabbed one of took toys and handed it to jimin. she grabbed it hesitantly, unsure what to do with it.

“oh my god, you all look so cute. hi jungkook, by the way” hana’s voice rung out in the room, causing all of you to turn around to look at her.

“hi, what’s up?” your boyfriend grinned and suddenly there was a thud of a dog toy hitting the ground. bam ran after it, his tail moving like crazy which caused jimin to burst out laughing.

“babies, am i right?” jk breathed out when she made grabby hands at him. hana encouraged him to take her. jungkook started swooshing her around carefully, the sound of her giggles filling the room.

“you should have a baby” hana said suddenly and you spit out the coffee you managed to get a sip of.

jungkook was waiting for you in bed, turning around nervously. you left the bathroom, switching off the lights.

“i’m so happy hana dropped by today” you grinned, plopping down next to him. he pulled you down, wrapping his arms around you “you looked really cute while babying her, you know?”

he remained silent, his brows furrowing.

“what?” you giggled, cupping his cheeks.

“you too. with jimin and bam running around… i heard what she said” jungkook sighed, looking at you “about the marriage…”

“oh okay… kookie, don’t worry about it. some people get married after ten years of dating” you cooed, leaning away only to bury your head in the crook of his neck

“i know but… i think i have a baby fever. the moment i saw jimin i couldn’t stop thinking about how it would be… having a baby y/n running around”

you grinned, his hand suddenly finding yours.

“me too, honestly. but i think i would want a boy. girls have it tough” you mumbled, squeezing his hand

“no way. i want a girl. she’ll be my little princess” jungkook giggled, brushing some hair out of the frame of your face

“a boy would be better, i’m telling you. if he looked like your copy, i’d melt” you whispered.

“well i think there’s one way to find out who would be better–“ jungkook started and you playfully punched his arm

“damn, ask me out first” you giggled, turning around to place a quick peck on his jaw.

“just you wait a little more, y/n, we’ll have an army soon…” he joked but you couldn’t help but punch him again

“i see the pun but don’t be too confident, jeon” you grinned, closing your eyes.

maybe it was a sign that later that night you were dreaming about mini version of jungkook playing with bam…?

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @kazmura

#bts fluff #bts x reader #jeon jungguk #bts imagines #jungkook fluff #jungkook #bts jung jungkook #bts jungkook #jk fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts soft hours #bts scenarios #bts drabble

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diorsluv · 4 months

Text

feather , part 26

“ and it feels so good ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

edwards.73

liked by lhughes_06, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, and 98,819 others

edwards.73 my friends have become inseparable.. i fear the worst

view all comments

username3 oh my god. oh. my. god. OH MY GOD.

mackie.samo it’s been a distraction during our movie nights

→ edwards.73 truly unacceptable

markestapa my urges to vomit have increased by 200% when i’m around them

→ edwards.73 never spoken more truth 🗣️🗣️

jamie.drysdale are they KISSING????

→ edwards.73 yes

→ jamie.drysdale EXPLAIN yourusername

→ yourusername WE WERE NOT KISSING I REPEAT WE WERE NOT KISSING

→ lhughes_06 she’s telling the truth

yourusername ETHAN I SWEAR TO GOD

→ edwards.73 the squad’s #1 couple! 💯💯💯

→ yourusername don’t ever call us the squad again. AND WE’RE NOT DATING

lhughes_06 W

→ edwards.73 nice 😈

→ yourusername luke warren hughes.

→ lhughes_06 I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

username35 nah but yall actin like they weren’t like this before the whole bartleby-seraphina era

→ username14 fr the dark ages got us fucked up so bad we forgot about peak dryshughes

username76 ethan has no shame

trevorzegras oh?

→ colecaufield oh??

→ _alexturcotte oh???

→ rutgermcgroarty oh????

→ edwards.73 don’t start this shit in my comments keep it in lil drizzys 😒

→ mackie.samo dammit i was about to keep it going

adamfantilli if they weren’t kissing what were they doing

→ jamie.drysdale that’s what i’d like to know

→ edwards.73 fr

→ yourusername we were just talking 😞

→ trevorzegras in the rain???

→ luca.fantilli with your faces basically colliding????

→ lhughes_06 yes actually that’s exactly what we were doing 💀

→ _quinnhughes i don’t know what to believe

username47 HAS IT HAPPENED

→ username58 it has not 🤧

username86 my brain is fucking malfunctioning ARE THEY A COUPLE?????

dylanduke25 i was simply eating pizza WITHOUT MY PHONE FOR ONCE. AND THIS WHAT I COME BACK TO?????

→ edwards.73 duker. you. were. there. when we took the pics 😭

→ dylanduke25 BUT I DIDNT KNOW U WERE POSTING IT

mackie.samo well when you think about it

→ edwards.73 oh please think about it

→ yourusername do not think about it

→ mackie.samo i’d like to propose a theory

→ markestapa start it off matpat style

→ mackie.samo no you fucking nerd

→ markestapa WHAT

→ mackie.samo i’m not theorizing anymore

→ markestapa mackpack would’ve been great

jackhughes luke saw this post and screamed like a girl

→ edwards.73 that’s hilarious 😂😂

→ lhughes_06 NO I DIDN’T??

→ jackhughes 😂😂

colecaufield oh no the 3rd wheeling has begun

→ edwards.73 dark times have come upon us

→ markestapa and 4th wheeling

→ dylanduke25 and 5th wheeling

→ mackie.samo and 6th wheeling

lhughes_06

liked by markestapa, dylanduke25, mackie.samo, and 81,468 others

lhughes_06 movie night 🎥

view all comments

rutgermcgroarty now i know i was complaining about it.. but ngl that movie was 🔥

→ lhughes_06 i told you it was good

→ yourusername moosey the only reason you know it was good was because you watched it with me last week

→ luca.fantilli i only liked it bc of the plot

→ yourusername okay lu then explain the plot for me 🤨

→ lhughes_06 you’re done for luca.fantilli

→ luca.fantilli uhhhh….. ryan gosling…? 😔

username26 they’re back 😈😈

markestapa my biggest flex is being the only one that didn’t cry

→ mackie.samo my biggest flex is having a recording of you crying in the bathroom after the movie ended

→ dylanduke25 my biggest flex is having a recording of EVERYONE crying

→ lhughes_06 my biggest flex is telling everyone they were gonna cry but no one believe me and i was right all along

→ edwards.73 your biggest flex is your girl bro lhughes_06

→ yourusername i’m not his girl ethan we talked about this!!!!

→ edwards.73 but you knew we were talkin bout you and not some other girl 🤷‍♂️

username37 the way ethan immediately shut her up

→ username45 i just KNOWWW luke’s giggling n shit

trevorzegras it was the fucking notebook wasn’t it

→ lhughes_06 yes yes it was 😞😞

→ jackhughes it’s alright lukey the notebook gets us all

→ _alexturcotte oh lord not again

→ colecaufield i still remember the first time she made us watch it with her…

→ yourusername cole you said you blocked the trauma out

adamfantilli we just increased kleenex sales by a shit ton

→ lhughes_06 it wasn’t THAT much was it???

→ dylanduke25 no no it couldn’t have been

→ luca.fantilli we used like 5 tissues each it can’t have been that much…

→ mackie.samo you’re all in denial

→ yourusername 2 tissue boxes per boy 😍😍

→ markestapa DON’T EXPOSE US LIKE THAT BRO yourusername

_quinnhughes where the fuck did you find a projector

→ lhughes_06 dad bought it off of amazon

→ _quinnhughes for what?????

→ lhughes_06 for me 🙄🙄

username51 honestly such a vibe

username18 the chaos in the first pic and the calm in the second 😭😭😭

yourusername your shoulder was very comfortable to sleep on

→ lhughes_06 you’ve only been doing it for like forever 🙄

→ trevorzegras lukey boy getting some more action we like to see it

→ yourusername i will choke you trevor

→ trevorzegras kinky too

→ yourusername I SWEAR TO GOD

luca.fantilli mark was difficult to carry i could feel my bones breaking

→ lhughes_06 speak markestapa

→ markestapa are you fat shaming me

→ luca.fantilli no i’m saying i almost broke my back

→ markestapa so you’re insulting me

→ luca.fantilli I’M SAYING YOU ALMOST SENT ME TO THE FUCKING HISPANIC

→ luca.fantilli FUCK I MEANT HOSPITAL STUPID AUTOCORRECT

→ lhughes_06 LMFAOOO

mackie.samo could you hear me snoring in the middle of the movie

→ lhughes_06 yes you were loud af

→ rutgermcgroarty oh that’s what that was? i thought it was an earthquake

→ adamfantilli think REAAAAAALLY hard about what you just asked and then ask it again

→ edwards.73 we had to turn the volume up to 100 just to hear the movie

→ mackie.samo i didn’t ask to be destroyed like this 😟😟

username70 r u dating jamie’s sister we need to know

username21 bro never posts himself

→ username5 fr it’s either the friend group or a girl

username32 W friend group

_alexturcotte have you done it yet bro

→ lhughes_06 shh that’s a secret

→ colecaufield what happens in the gc stays in the gc

→ yourusername what gc

next chapter notes ) more and more fluffity fluff posts ☺️☺️ i literally put these two through hell with the dickwad bf and the obsessed fling so i decided let’s make them a little happy

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys @loveforaugust @crazycat-ladys-blog

#luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes fic #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes #quinn hughes #jack hughes #alex turcotte #cole caufield #trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #mackie samoskevich #dylan duke #mark estapa #ethan edwards #adam fantilli #rutger mcgroarty #luca fantilli

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sundays-wing-piercing · 4 months

Note

Helloooo, I hope you don’t mind that I just hop in here to send some Sunday prompt ideas cause why not (hehe)

A hurt/comfort idea with Sunday and injured s/o, what if s/o escaped a life-threatening situation without his knowledge and returned to him, only for Sunday to realize that theyre bleeding out heavily. Luckily he managed to get assistance before things took a turn for the worse, scolding them for being so reckless and for not telling him, he was just so worried :( (bonus if its a path destruction follower s/o)

Second idea, what if s/o’s running a delirious, high fever, all shits and giggling while Sunday is sitting at their bedside, feeding them necessary food and medicine while patting their hot forehead with a cool cloth, reassuring them that he loves them and that they’ll be fine soon

man i just rlly love me some hurt/comfort prompts 😞☺️

Honey darling don't worry it's what I do LOVE THESE IDEAS OMG

The first one I'd imagine that after you barely escaped death your mind's all over the place but even then one thought outshines the others. You don't know if you're gonna die or not. The unbearable pain along with the trail of blood staining your fingers do convince you to the first option but either way, you'd want to atleast see him one last time. You're practically limping, trying to stay awake just a little bit longer and once you finally meet him your body completely gives up just in time.

You weren't met with the cold floor as you expected. But instead, a terrified man who shouts your name begging you to stay awake. It appears that he had caught you in his arms just as he always did. Though you wonder if it's gonna be his last.

Fortunately Sunday got you help as soon as possible. You were ofcourse unconcious but atleast not forever. Atleast that's what he hoped. Gosh all he felt was rage but to who? Was it to the person or thing that caused this? Was it to you who gave little to no thought wether you'd get out of this battle alive or not? Or was it to him who'd wish he had the time to protect you? Even though theres no way he could've have predicted this, he was still angry at himself.

What kind of fool falls for the same mistake twice. All he could do is cover his face in the blanket that you slept in out of shame. That is until a hand gently stroked his hair. Oh you thought he was gonna start crying? Nah hes straight up scolding you like- actually raising his voice. Although you feel guilty of making him worry like this, you can't help but smile at how much he cares for you enough to get mad about it.

Halfway through his scolding you find how his words seemed to come out more hoarse until it ultimately stops. Hes crying. Ah now you really feel bad. You can't really do much in your current state other than cupping his face making him look at you in the eye. Your thumb brush away the tears that escape the corners of his eye as you blurt out an apology. One that he refuses to accept at the moment but deep down, he loves you too much to be petty. As of now you'll just have to comfort him until you both succumb to the exhaustion.

Second one is just you waking up looking absolutely terrible but you insist that everything is fine. Right as you're about to get ready for work Sunday immediately pulled you back down to the bed as he presses his cold fingers to your forehead. Yup, it's a fever alrighty. A really bad one in fact. And so he decides to take a day off to tend to you and despite your complains he absolutely insist on taking care of you.

But ofcourse you decide to use this opportunity to your advantage. Right as he brings you something to eat you're whining to him about how you don't have the appetite to eat. Theres no way he'll buy into this. Holy shit he did. He's actually and willingly spoon feeding you slowly and patiently and even made sure to stop for a break if you can't take anymore so you don't vomit all over the place.

But incase you do, he's at your side holding your hair and patting your back till you're all done. He gently cleans you up and brings you a fresh comfy set of clothes that are just right for you. And once you're finished he'll hold you close and whisper sweet affirmations to calm you down. Even if you apologize for burdening him he'll deny it all with a gentle smile. Different from his charming public persona one. Even if he has to get up to do the same thing in the middle of the night he'll never blame you. It's not something in your control afterall. Please do the same if he ends up getting sick from you.

Wow. Thats a lotta words. But as always SMASH THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON. LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE AND MAKE SURE TO HIT THE BELL SO YOULL GET NOTIFIED ON MY NEWEST VIDEO. THIS IS SUNDAYS WING PIERCING, SIGNING OFF. *insert 2017 yt outro of my username with cool effects as playing with fire by blackpink plays in the background* Im so sorry for that

#Sometimes my inner wolf (the cringe side) comes out #ai rants #hsr sunday #sunday hsr #hsr sunday x reader #sunday x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader

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esmedelacroix · 4 months

Text

Christmas Special

surprising husband!miguel o'hara revealing your pregnancy to him on Christmas day⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

1 days til' christmas ← previous part

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You woke up on Christmas morning getting up quickly feeling like you were on top of the world. You got up about to practically skip out of your bedroom smelling the sweet breakfast and coffee Miguel was making.

Until you didn't feel like you were on top of the world and you felt like you were spinning downwards. You had gotten up way too quickly and ate a heavy meal the night prior and now you had to vomit.

As you hurled almost all the contents of your stomach, you heard Miguel's rushed steps and soon he was by your side with a glass of water. You leaned against him feeling a bit distraught that you would have to go through this until you got used to having smaller meals throughout the day and not guzzling water when you were feeling thirsty which was all the time.

Not the best start to such an amazing day but the breakfast that Miguel had made was a great pick-me-up. The two of you went over to sit in front of the tree and open gifts. Miguel had gotten you a whole closet of new clothing, jewelry, a watch, and three new pairs of shoes. The gift that spoke volumes to you was the handmade card that Miguel had made for you.

He always had this skill of being able to make you cry and feel like the most loved woman on earth with a simple handmade card. You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face in his neck. He caressed your hair just happy to see you so happy.

In his card, he wrote about the past week and how all he wanted was for you to be happy during your favorite time of year. About how he loves you so much and is happy that he can call you ‘my wife’. He wrote that he hopes that someday soon you can share your secret with him.

Afterward, Miguel opened his gifts from you. A watch, some cufflinks, a cute apron, shoes, and random clothing had been bought throughout the holidays because you can't stop buying things that remind you of him. He read your Christmas card that explained your struggle with finding him the perfect gift for the holidays but you finally found it. The card alluded to the final gift under the tree. The small rectangular box

Under the tree amongst the torn wrapping paper and gift-wrapping ribbons, sat that same red rectangular box wrapped in dark green ribbon. You picked it up and handed it over to Miguel. He slowly pulled at the ribbon untied the bow, and looked up at you raising a suspenseful brow. He slowly opened the box and put his glass down from the top of his head to the bridge of his nose.

Once he could make out what was in the box he dropped it. He looked up at you, eyes nearly popping out of his skull. He did a double-take looking back down at the box covering him hung open mouth with his hand. "Baby, you're pregnant?" he asked as you could almost hear the tears in his voice.

"Yes, Merry Christmas," you said as you held his arms out to him.

He immediately hugged you, kissing your forehead and peppering kisses all over your face. In between each kiss was a breathful, "Thank you," You had never seen a gift bring him to tears until now.

"I'm going to be a father," he stated aloud forcing himself to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

You knew in any second he was going to ask you to pinch him so you went ahead and did it. "We're having a baby!" Miguel exclaimed as he hugged you again making giggles rise in your throat.

"This is what I've been hiding from you, I wanted to surprise you," you admitted, running your hand through his hair.

"You have no idea how happy you've made me," he mumbled into your chest as his bare warm hands found their way under your tanktop and caressed your stomach. You weren't really showing yet but he couldn't wait to take care of you and see you swollen and carrying a baby he put in you.

"Hi baby," he whispered as he touched your stomach.

"You know I actually had a feeling you were preg—" Miguel started.

"Oh shut up you," you said laughing at his little joke.

This would be you and Miguel's merriest Christmas. You knew the next seven months would consist of Miguel hovering over you and extra princess treatment but you honestly didn't mind. This Christmas wasn't spent as a couple, it was spent as a mom, dad, and child. It would be your first Christmas dinner for three.

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. . .

the end <3

a/n: I hope you all liked this series. I hope you enjoyed your holidays as well. Don't be shy to send me a lil request if there's any other content you'd like to see.

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taglist: @aripet22@to-the-endoftheline@sad-author-san

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sevcasejay1chicago · 6 months

Text

We chose you- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Summary: You hear Erin Lindsey bad mouthing you in the bathroom at Molly’s. She opens up old wounds that only your boys can heal.

Warnings: cursing, mentions vomiting, diabetic

Authors note: Here it is my loves. This is a request from an anonymous friend. I hope you enjoy!

——————

Molly’s was packed. Stella was hosting her monthly karaoke night. The night was young, the drinks were cold, and the people were packed in the bar. You were sat at a back table with Jay, Will, Matt, Kelly, and Natalie. The music wasn’t the worst your group had heard, but that was the last thing on your mind. You and Will Halstead were up next. You had lost a bet to him earlier that day, so now you were stuck singing We Are Never Getting Back Together by T-Swift. Will won the bet, which got you on stage. The catch was that you got to pick the song.

When Stella loudly announced your song and called you and Will up, you practically had to be dragged away. You couldn’t believe that you had been talked into this. Hopefully the liquid courage would be enough.

About half way through the song, you realized that a very drunk Erin Lindsey with flirting with Kelly and Jay. Their attention was solely on her and, from the looks of it, they were not pushing her away. You felt anger rise in your chest, but locked eyes with Will and kept singing.

Once the song was over, you handed your mic to Will and stormed off into the bathroom. Reaching a stall, you immediately went in and sat down, grabbing toilet paper to blot the tears away in hopes of Matt not noticing that you had been crying. You figured Kelly and Jay wouldn’t notice, given that they were entertaining Erin.

Suddenly, you heard giggling as the door swung open. You huddled up with your feet above the view from under the door, hoping that nobody knew you were there.

“They could do so much better than her.” Erin slurred, giggling as Hailey Upton handed her a wet paper towel.

“Erin.” Hailey sighed, crossing her arms as she watched her drunk companion dab the paper towel on the back of her neck.

“What? She’s not as pretty as me. She has WAY more issues than me. I mean, I could hide my feelings for the most part. She’s just so whiny. I even feel bad for Matt.” Erin slurred, slapping the paper towel onto the counter and scoffing loudly. “They just pity her. Why have her when they could have me?” Erin asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

Hailey muttered something under her breath before she gave her reply, which got drown out by the music and then the door shutting behind her. You, however, were completely horrified. Deep down, you knew she was just talking shit. Right?

Pulling yourself together, you made your way back to your table and practically sat yourself in Matt’s lap as you eyed Kelly, Jay, Erin, and Hailey. You laid your head on his shoulder as you took a sip of his water.

“You okay baby?” Matt asked, lifting your hair from the back of your neck as he felt the heat coming from you.

“I don’t feel good. Can we go home?” You whispered in his ear before laying your head back onto his shoulder.

Matt rubbed your back and nodded. “Absolutely. Let me go collect the guys.” He replied, starting to stand and hand you off to Will to keep you company.

“Just leave them. Will can fill them in and Upton can bring them home.” You said, pouting at Matt. “I really don’t feel good and I wanna go home.” You whined, giving him your best puppy dog look, though you were literally getting nauseous by seeing the way Erin was all over them.

Matt eyed you and finally gave in with a nod to Will. “Alright baby. Come on. Let’s get you home.” Matt said, standing with you braced against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

After a short goodbye to the people at your table, Matt guided you through the crowded bar and out of the side door. He kept his hands on your waist and almost laughed when you breathed in a lungful of the cool night air. From there, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to Jay’s truck, easily depositing you into the front seat and buckling you in.

“Just tell me if you need me to pull over, ‘kay?” Matt told you, cupping your burning face in his palms.

“Kay.” You hummed closing your eyes and enjoying the coolness of his hands. You had to hold back a whine when he moved back and closed the door, missing the coolness of his hands and the comfort he brought you.

Matt drove home with your hand in his, making sure to be easy on his stops and turns. When he parked the truck, he looked over to notice that you were asleep with your head leaned against the back of the seat, your face toward him. Instead of waking you up, Matt quietly took you out of the car and carried you inside. He tried to gently undress you, but you woke with a start when the cool air hit your chest.

“Shhhh. I’m just changing your clothes baby.” Matt soothed, leaning over you to make eye contact. He could see the fear in your eyes until you recognized him. An old PD casing coming back to haunt you if Matt had to guess.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, laying back again. “I’m good. I’m ‘Kay.” You slurred, still pretty drunk and very much half asleep.

Matt nodded. “Okay baby. I’m almost done and then we can go to bed.” Matt whispered, quickly changing you into one of his shirts before laying you against your pillow. “Need anything?” Matt asked sweetly, tucking the blankets around your shoulders.

You thought back to Erin’s comment and quickly shook your head, almost regretting how much it hurt to do so. “‘M good. Go back n have fun.” You whispered, starting to turn over and go to sleep.

Matt chuckled and started taking off his clothes. “No ma’am. I’m staying here with you.” Matt said, tossing his clothes in the hamper, along with yours. “Let’s remove your makeup so that your eyes aren’t irritated in the morning.” Matt proposed, walking toward the bathroom for your makeup wipes.

You wiped silent tears from your face as the feeling of being a burden almost immediately tried to swallow you whole. You weren’t completely sure if he was doing this out of habit or obligation after hearing Erin’s comments. “You don’t have to.” You said, trying to make your voice sound strong.

Matt came back in the room, wipes in hand. “Baby.” Matt cooed, immediately coming to your side. “Shhh. It’s alright.” Matt shushed, taking you into his arms as you shook with a sob. “Baby. What’s wrong? You feel sick?” Matt asked, knowing throwing up was a major fear of yours. You did, so when you nodded, you weren’t exactly lying. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Matt asked with a hum, staying calm to hopefully promote the same feeling within you.

You shook your head. “Sleep.” You whispered, sniffing and pulling yourself together.

Matt nodded. “Okay hunny. Hang on.”

Your loving boyfriend then proceeded to wipe your face clean of makeup and tears. Holding the wipe to your nose to blow after the crying made you sniffly. Then he tucked you back into bed and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back to cuddle sweetheart.” Matt promised. He was only gone for a few minutes before he returned with some water, meds for your hangover tomorrow morning, and a trash can. “Trash can will be on the nightstand if you wake up feeling sick.” Matt said, placing it on his side of the bed, which meant you would end up waking him if you got sick in the night.

Matt finally slid into bed, plugged in your phones and turned out the lights. You weren’t going to object when Matt immediately pulled you into his arms since he initiated the contact. Instead, you got comfortable and fell into a fitful sleep.

You barely stirred when Jay and Kelly stumbled in at 5 am, but you were immediately hit with the smell of alcohol when you woke a few hours later. Luckily, Matt was already up and cooking in the kitchen, so he didn’t hear when you made a mad dash for the bathroom and threw up everything you consumed the night before. Afterwards, you brushed your teeth and showered, needing to make sure that the smell of vomit didn’t linger and to calm your racing heart. You brushed again before going out to join Matt in the kitchen.

For the next several days, you dodged Kelly and Jay. Constantly making an excuse to not be in the same room as them. You even went to bed early every night and slept on Matt’s side of the bed to ensure that the other two wouldn’t touch you at night. Every time you saw the boys do something for the other or heard them talking to each other in a loving way, your heart twisted in sadness. They sound and look so happy when you aren’t bothering them. The thought made you physically sick, which led to more vomiting and skipping meals, claiming that you had a big lunch or ate a snack.

However, you failed to notice that the boys were in fact taking notice of your presence, or lack thereof. It was bothering them, but they weren’t going to push you. They knew that you had your moments when you needed to be left alone, so they did just that until they couldn’t anymore.

A week after the incident at Molly’s, the boys were setting up their Friday night date night. They figured, since you haven’t wanted to be around them, that you wouldn’t want to be around other people. They were just finishing setting up when you walked through the door. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You were frozen in place, pale as a ghost and trembling as you breathed erratically. Everyone stayed frozen for a moment until you threw your stuff on the counter and ran for the bathroom.

All three boys were hot on your heels. Matt got there first, pressing you against his side with one hand and keeping your ponytail back with the other as you bent at the waist over the toilet. You were still hyperventilating and shaking.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Matt shushed, lightly rubbing your right side. It seemed odd that he could feel your ribs after only a week of barely touching you.

Jay and Kelly were moving about the master bathroom, both getting things you normally liked when you were sick. Jay eventually came over with a wet wash cloth and laid it over the back of your neck while taking your temp with the forehead thermometer.

“No fever.” Jay announced, reaching up to rub your back. He startled slightly when you flinched. You have never flinched when any of the boys touched you, when your sober anyway. Jay and Matt made eye contact when it happened, but were quickly drawn back to you as you heaved loudly.

“I-hmmm. Just l-leave, Pl-hukk.” You tried to plead, being cut off by a gag.

“No way.” Kelly said, taking you by the hips. You were swaying slightly now, the hyperventilating, plus the heaving and you locking your legs was clearly causing you to lose your balance. “Kneel down baby.” Kelly coached, pushing your hips slightly down to lead you onto your knees.

“Mm-m.” You shook your head, moving closer to Matt. “G-go. Ju-out!” You tried to exclaim, but it ended in a whisper as you sagged into Matt’s arms.

“Woah!” Matt said, catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Kelly immediately took a towel down and pillowed your head with it. Jay knelt down to check your pulse as Matt helped Kelly pull you into the recovery position.

“Pulse is strong but tacky.” Jay announced, keeping a hold of your wrist.

“Y/n? Open your eyes.” Matt called, tilting your face upwards to open your airways more.

You didn’t respond. Kelly took out the blood pressure machine and handed Jay the glucose monitor. The exchange was done silently and the devices were used immediately. Jay gasped as your blood sugar came up on the small device.

“Holy shit. It’s 45!” Jay exclaimed, immediately diving for the bag and pulling out the glucagon and spraying it into your nose.

“BP is pretty high for her, which makes since with a blood sugar that low.” Kelly commented, standing to run to the kitchen and grab you some orange juice.

“Let’s take her to the living room. Can you grab the trash can just in case?” Matt asked Jay, shifting you into his arms as you began to stir. “Shhhhh. We gotcha.” Matt murmured as Jay nodded and grabbed the first aid kit and trash can, following Matt out into the living room.

Matt barely had you laid down when you woke up. Immediately, you attempted to get up, still feeling nauseous and kinda flighty. You felt like a caged animal needing to escape.

“Hey hey hey. No baby.” Matt exclaimed, pushing you back down. “You just passed out from low blood sugar. Kelly is getting you some juice I think.” Matt soothed, sitting down next to you.

“M fine.” You said, trying to push yourself up again.

“Bullshit.” Kelly said, walking into the room with Jay behind him.

“Fine my ass.” Jay muttered, ripping open one of your zofrans and giving it to you.

You took the Zofran and sipped on the orange juice that Kelly brought in. Everyone was staring at you, but you averted your gaze as you began to connect the dots on what just happened. You knew what was coming next.

“Alright. Spill. What’s been going on with you lately?” Jay asked, sitting on the coffee table and trying his best not to seem intimidating.

You shook your head. “Nothin.” You said, trying to sound normal.

“No. That’s not an answer.” Kelly said, coming to kneel next to you. “You’ve been avoiding us, mostly me and Jay, for a week now. What did we do?” Kelly asked, pleading with his eyes.

“You really wanna know??” You exclaimed, hands trembling from more than low blood sugar. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone back to Erin. I’m sure she’s still in town.” You scoffed.

“What?” Kelly and Jay both said.

“At Molly’s, she was flirting with you and you were flirting back. Then you didn’t come home until 5 am.” You had tears streaming down your face. “Erin didn’t know I was crying in the bathroom when she told Hailey how much better she is than me and how sorry she feels for you guys for having a needy girlfriend.” You explained, hastily wiping the tears from your face.

“Baby, we-“ Jay started, but you shoved the orange juice into his hand and reached for the trash can instead.

Matt pulled your pony tail back again as Kelly reached over to steady the trash can. You were just panting heavily, but saliva was dripping into the trash can along with your tears. Luckily, the Zofran was completely dissolved under your tongue.

“Shhhhhh. Breathe baby. Slow down.” Matt soothed, rubbing your back. “Let it pass baby. Just breathe and let it pass. You’ve gotten yourself all worked up.” Matt whispered, letting you keep the trash can as long as you needed to, but hoping that this was just nausea from anxiety.

You nodded, spitting and letting Kelly take the trash can. You immediately turned into Matt and hid your face in his neck. You let yourself sob, having been pent up for too long. You missed this. You missed your boys.

“Baby. We chose you.” Jay said, placing a hand on your back. “She did try, but we chose you and Matt.”

“We would never chose her.” Kelly said, sitting down next to Matt. “We had our fun, but that was the past. You and Matt are our future.” Kelly explained, placing a hand on Matt’s thigh.

“And we love taking care of you. We love that you love us enough to trust us with anything.” Matt said, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I knew they wouldn’t leave us because I know how much they love us. How much they love you.” Matt whispered.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@mattangel11

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #matt casey #kelly severide #jay halstead #fluff #matt casey x reader #comfort #jay halstead x reader #kelly severide x reader #diabetes #not a fan of Erin Lindsey #kinda hating on her here #sorry not sorry

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thatharringrovehoe · 2 years

Text

I'm thinking of an AU where Billy wasn't involved in the shenanigans/horrors of season three at all. He worked at the pool, picked up extra shifts ever since Heather stopped showing up, went to scoops every chance he got just to see Steve Harrington's fat ass in those tiny shorts. He has a night off for once and decides to go and see that new sci-fi movie playing at the mall. Near the end he swears he can hear Harrington laughing like a lunatic with some girl down in the front row, but when the movie ends Billy doesn't see him in the que to leave, just the girl he works with huddled around a bucket of popcorn and giggling to herself while she wanders towards the water fountain. He needs to piss, so Billy makes his way to the bathroom, stopping short outside the entrance when the sound of someone wretching up what must be all of their internal organs filters through the door. He debates just going home, but he actually *really* has to go. So.

Billy pushes open the door, ignoring the painful vomiting sounds three doors down and takes care of business. It's not until he saunters up to wash his hands that he notices a pair of very familiar Nike's sticking out across the floor. And there sits Harrington, hugging the toilet like a lifeline and panting into the crook of his elbow.

"Harrington? Shit, you alright?"

And normally he'd poke fun. Pretty boy is obviously on something, evident by his blown out pupils and glassy stare. But he's also sweating buckets and shaking, tears and snot running down his face. And Jesus ever loving *fuck*, whoever worked over pretty boy's face wasn't pulling any punches.

Steve squints, eyes traveling slowly from Billy's boots up to his face. He smiles, dopey and high and Billy winces at how it pulls the purple black swelling of his cheek.

"Yeah, I feel way better now."

Which. *Okaaaaay*.

"I'll bet. What the fuck happened to your face?"

"I was integrated-..inter...interror-...I was tortured by Russian spies"

Billy snorts, amused despite himself.

"Oh yeah? That why you weren't at the counter today, sailor?"

Steve scrunches up his nose, and damn, Billy's gunna have to ask Harrington what he took when he's a bit more sober. It's some potent stuff if he's not even flinching moving an obviously broken nose like that.

"You know my shift schedule?"

*Shit*. Billy feels the tips of his ears go hot. Clearing his throat awkwardly as he glances down at his boots.

Time to change the subject.

"Why were you being *interrogated* by Russian spies, pretty boy?"

Steve sucks his teeth.

"Cuz the monsters came back and Robin cracked Dustin's code and then we went under the mall in an elevator to a secret Russian Army base and got caught and then they beat me up and shot me and Robin up with truth syrup and-...umm....I think that's it."

Billy blinks.

Once.

Twice.

And. *Huh*.

"That right?"

Steve nods, swaying dangerously forward before catching himself on the stall doorway.

Whatever he's on, Steve obviously *believes* what he's saying. There might even be something to that 'truth serum' element considering how he's answered all of Billy's questions so easily. And Billy never once in his life claimed to be a good person.

"Why were you with my sister at the Byers' house last winter?"

Steve's head shoots up, eyes wide as saucers and for one horrifying moment Billy's sure the guy is going to start crying. Thankfully he doesn't, just slumps even heavier against the toilet with a sigh.

"Because there are monsters in the dark. And I was supposed to protect them. I *had* to protect them. Hopper said to *stay*. And then you showed up and Max said you were gonna kill her and I was supposed to keep them *safe*"

Billy tries to parse through whatever make believe bullshit Steve is spouting before getting caught on the whole *killing his sister* part.

"What, and you believed her?"

Steve gives him a considering look. Barring the rest of *whatever the fuck* Steve is talking about, Billy isn't sure he wants to hear the answer the guy is obviously mulling over.

Finally, he settles on "I don't anymore", and something sharp and hurt in Billy's chest settles.

"Hmm. Alright. If you've been *shot up with truth syrup*" Billy huffs a laugh "tell me a secret. Something you specifically don't want me to know."

Again, Billy's never claimed to be a good person.

Somewhere under all that blood and bruising, Billy thinks he sees a flush creep up Harrington's neck.

*Jackpot*

"I'm the one who keeps stealing your photo from the pool corkboard"

He-..

Wait

What?

"That's-. Uh. Not what I thought you were gonna say."

Steve shrugs, embarrassed and looking anywhere but Billy. And Billy *has to know*. Has to ask.

"Why?"

Harrington looks up at him, not a trace of a lie in his eyes.

"Cuz every time I go to the pool to ask you on a date I chicken out."

Billy can't feel his fucking *face*. He has no idea what to say.

It's at this exact moment one of Max's nerd friends kicks down the bathroom door, holding Scoops girl by the shirt while Sinclair's little sister levels Billy with a challenging glare that has shame curling hot and acrid in his gut.

"STEVE! We've been looking *everywhere* for you! C'mon buddy, we have to get outta here before the Russian guys find us."

These hicks are fucking insane.

After helping Steve up to rinse out his mouth in the sink, Billy walks out of the bathroom with Harrington hanging off his shoulder when a bullet whizzes past his nose to embed itself in the cement wall.

Henderson is screaming "Shit, they found us!" while two men in black combat gear come charging up the escalator, armed to the teeth. They bark orders out in what is obviously Russian before a show car *flies through the air* and crushes them against the wall.

After Billy is introduced to a little girl with God damn *superpowers*, he's given a bare bones explanation while Steve plays with one of Billy's stray curls like it's the most interesting thing in the world. And monsters are real and there's a spider made of people out to get them and apparently Heather is possessed and all Billy can hear is

***Cuz every time I go to the pool to ask you on a date I chicken out***

#that hoe writes #billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things #season 3 rewrite #i just love to put Billy in these wacky situations

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adoristsposts · 8 months

Note

Y/n and Justin Herbert have a 3 month old and in the middle of the night their baby starts to cry, y/n is exhausted from getting up every night to care for a crying child Justin notices and takes over for the night, the baby and him have a bonding moment he talks and soothes the baby.

author's note; i neeeeed to write for hockey but he is the only thing on my mind i can't help myself summary; a kid was all the two of you could think about for ages- but now that your daughter is officially in the world, the late nights and early mornings aren't exactly easy. word count; 0.9K warnings; mention of vomit, pregnancy + babies, mention of sex, unedited characters; Reader x Justin Herbert

Having a baby with Justin was one of the best decisions you had ever made. It fell right in front of marrying him in the first place. And both of you had reaped the benefits of your pregnancy. Attention and gifts made the sore back and swollen ankles worth it. Justin had even been stopped by a few players he looked up to to be congratulated and given tips. Hell, Jason Kelce had reached out, which sent you into a bit of a fangirl fit. And while you had found Justin sexy as hell before hand, nothing made him more beautiful to you than watching him with your baby. He could be covered in her vomit, for gods sake, and you'd still be convinced he was the most gorgeous sight you had ever seen.

He still had football, though. He spent as little time at practice as he could, but the chunk of the day he was gone had led to a firm agreement: he dealt with her at night. "She gets me all day," you told him. "I will put milk in a bottle and you will let me sleep through the night." Which never fully worked out. You were easier to raise from sleep than he was. It got to the point where exhaustion crept up on you and you were snappy and annoyed all day. You would stomp around the house, calming yourself only for the baby or Justin. Once, his brother had made the mistake of saying the house was a mess and Justin had to laugh and put his arm around you to stop you from throwing a dinner plate at his head.

So this time, when the sound of her crying woke him, Justin told you to go back to bed and that he would deal with it. He groaned as he padded across the room and took her out of her crib. His height was not an advantage when it came to leaning over it. "Hi, pretty," He greeted, taking her out of the room with him. The pet name had come to him out of nowhere- as a family of all boys, neither he nor his brothers had ever been called 'pretty'. But by god, was his daughter beautiful. She coughed with her mouth open, threw up on him, burped, and did all other bodily functions with no shame, but to him she was perfect because she looked like the two of you. Which sounded insane- she was three months old with barely a hair on her head, but he could feel the resemblance in his soul more than see it. Sappy. He was becoming sappy. He cooed to her and bobbed her in his arms to calm her down as he looked in the fridge for the milk you had put aside. "You hungry baby?" He asked when she finally stopped crying. He groaned over dramatically as he put her in her high chair to amuse her. The giggle that came out of her sent his heart soaring.

Warming the bottle usually took a while. So he moved her chair to where he could see her and the water. "You wanna hear about how me and mommy met? Or my teammates?" The second one elicited another giggle. "I would obviously rather tell you about my wonderful wife, but sweaty guys work too," He joked. He explained football to her, as he had done before and would continue to do. His daughter was going to grow up to be as big a football fan as he could get her to be. He continued on, talking about recent trades and injuries, inside jokes, the ones he was sure she would like when she started being able to really comprehend what was going on around her.

"Did you know, when you came, I had the doctors convinced your mom had an affair?" Justin told her. She looked up at him with big blue eyes and it was almost as if she wanted him to continue. "There's this quote from the Grinch- you'll start quoting things, soon- where he says 'Hey, honey! Our baby's here! He looks just like your boss,'" Justin laughed to himself at the memory. "I said it to your mom, you see, when you popped out of her. And the nurses and doctors were mortified- they thought I was serious! It was so embarrassing to have to explain to them I was quoting the Grinch." Her bottle was ready, and so he scooped her back up and began to feed her. "If you throw up on me I'm going to have to show up to practice in one of your mom's blouses- I am fresh out of clothes," he warned. The food went down smoothly, thank God.

He rocked her until she fell back asleep. When he turned to walk back into your room, you were standing in the doorframe. "I told you to go back to sleep," Justin said softly. You smiled and padded over to him. "You're very good with children." "Thanks. I practiced on my hamster," Justin finished the quote. He pressed a kiss on your forehead when you reached him. "You're so handsome," You told him, "I love watching you with her." "Careful," Justin warned, "we have a roommate- no sex, I'm afraid." "Mmm," You hummed, "She'll get a sibling as soon as she moves into her own room."

#adoristsposts #anon request #justin herbert fluff #justin herbert #justin herbert fic #la chargers #la chargers fic #nfl #nfl fic #nfl fluff #he is giving me baby fever #i actually saw a photo of him with kids the other day and tweeted it with the caption 'i understand the whole baby fever thing now'

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merajsblog · 10 months

Text

itadori yuuji.

“your guilt will be your past and that will be your god.”

warnings: there is shibuya arc spoilers in here so read at your own risk :)

in all your time together, you knew how important it was to yuuji to follow through with his resolve. he wanted to help others achieve proper deaths. he wanted to save who he could. he wanted to be around those who he saved and cherished as he died. itadoris entire being was for others, or so he wanted it to be. there was no foreshadowing to shibuya, a once lively city. instead, all was left was rough earth and faint screaming. and tears. and vomit. he couldn't stop blaming himself for what happened. so much had built up to this, so many people had built up to this. it ruined him. you knew that better than anyone. nights were spent by the toilet as he would wake up in a cold sweat and he couldn't stop vomiting. it was as if he was trying to vomit the guilt away. he was full of blank, empty stares, as if there was nothing in front of him. there was certainly nothing left of shibuya. cold fingers and frowns. grey storm clouds and the constant sound of water as yuuji sat in the shower, trying to wash away the sins and blood on his hands. they were not his to battle, but he felt inclined to. it was hard to find the proper words to say to him. saying "it's okay" seemed untrue in every way. he wasn't okay, what happened wasn't okay, and everything being thrown at him wasn't okay. there was no standard as to how he was supposed to deal with this, but surely this wasn't it? it seemed detrimental, and it formed him as a human being.

"are you alright itadori?" you called out from the bedroom. he had been in the shower again, for the third time today.

"i'll be out soon, was just feeling a little dirty..." he said from the bathroom. rolling your eyes, you got up from your shared bed, and walked over. you leaned against the open-door frame. he was sitting on the floor below the shower head, where the water was hitting his back. he was staring at the floor. the steam fogged up the windows and the mirror. you couldn't see any reflection of yourself at all, and neither could he see any of himself. maybe it was on purpose. slowly stripping, you step into the shower. he gets up slowly, confused as to why you were getting in. sure, you had showered together before, but it was just the last thing you had expected. you give him a soft smile. you pump some shampoo into your hand, and gesture for him to turn around. the corner of his mouth twitches upwards. he always loved when you washed his hair, or really touched him at all. he always craved your touch. it was as if your touch rid him of all his thoughts. there was nothing more than your warm hands and feelings of safety and home. you would ramble about your day, or what stupid shit gojou was up to. it was nice to hear him occasionally giggle. you two would be in the shower, and lather each other up. washing away both of your sins down the drain. you would both sit on the bathroom floor, and he would sob. there was nothing else to do but cry. how unfair it was. the best you could do was remind him how it wasn't his fault. none of it was ever his fault. it was like beating a dead horse to keep saying that to him, but it was all you could say. shibuya being flattened was not his will. while it was his body that was housing the curse that killed everyone, all he could do was sit back with his eyes wide. nothing was going to change that those people had died. nothing was going to bring anyone back. there was no reason why a kid would of had to deal with these emotions and thoughts, but here we were.

"thanks for being here with me..."he would mumble every now and then, while looking at the ground. he really was grateful for what you've done with him. it wasn't easy to constantly bend down and pick someone up from the floor without being pulled to the floor yourself. but for him, you'd do it every time, no questions asked. he would do the same for you. and he deserved it so much more than he thought he did. while he was trying to re-strengthen his resolve, you held onto it for him. you helped him build his resolve back through soft kisses, and warm head pats. washing his hair in the shower and holding hair off his forehead as he vomited into your shared toilet. telling him over and over again how it was never his fault, and how it was unfair.

"you're the strongest person i know." you mumbled to him as you both laid in bed together, facing each other. his eyes were a deeper color, and new scars crowded his face. eyebags pulled at his lash line, and the new scar by his mouth made him look like he had a permanent scowl. he let out a small laugh.

"even though I look like this? even after all you've seen?" he said, almost astonished. "i thought you would've left me by now honestly...i mean i would have left me.." he said, eyes darting around. you hold his face gently. "even after all i've seen. if the nightmares come back this time, i'll be here to chase them away. i'll always be here to chase them away." you plant a small kiss on his nose, and slowly you two drift into sleep.

#jjk anime #jjk x reader #jjk spoilers #yuji itadori #itadori x reader #jjk itadori

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lovingkvinner · 1 year

Text

The same goddamn song (2/3)

Larissa weems x reader

Okay so I’m making it three parts because I got weirdly carried away with the car scene?! It might be boring as fck I don’t know but they’re cute and also reader is a psychic outcast I have decided (I imagined this from the start but it’s just kinda cropped up now)

“15 minutes? Really?” You said to yourself as you closed the door. I mean, you were soaked from your shower, you had to dry your hair, get dressed and put on makeup in 15 minutes. What annoyed you more is Larissa was a woman of great appearance, surely she knew how long it takes to ready oneself.

This was not just any ordinary coffee date either, this was Larissa weems for heavens sake, she always looked beautiful!.

You had no time to waste and so you grabbed your hairdryer and just went at it until some minutes later your hair was dry, then you combed through it, it was the best you could do. Dressing was a matter of running around panicking and then chucking on whatever you felt was casual but also sort of dressed up….. not in a ‘give me attention’ way but then…. Also in a ‘give me attention way.’

It was comfortable but it made your figure look great so you weren’t too fussed. The makeup was little more than a swipe of blush, mascara and some lipstick.

Usually you liked to go beyond this but time wasn’t exactly on your side, at least you could use the excuse of it being a Sunday ‘day of rest’ and all.

You were breathing very heavily now, attempting to calm yourself and also not faint and throw up and cry and scream and fall at her knees and giggle like a child .

You smoothed down a stray hair in the mirror and walked out of the room quickly in fear that if you lingered any longer you wouldn’t move at all.

A smile graced your panic stricken face as you rounded the corner and saw her stood outside, leaning an arm on the top of her car, her legs perfectly elongated by the pose she was stood in.

The day was a mid autumn one, a little chilly, Larissa was in her dual pistachio dress with matching coat; your favourite of her outfits. Leaves this time of year were all orange, but not yet departed from their trees, they painted a great compliment to the boldness of her red painted lips.

You felt as if your legs might just buckle under you right then and there but by some god you managed to walk over to her.

“How do you manage?” Larissa asked peering down from her spot in the heavens .

“Hm?” You questioned, variably confused and blushing wildly.

Secretly Larissa liked the way she made you feel, but most times tried to ignore the way you made her feel. She could feel shame slipping away or either desire overpowering that shame.

“Look so amazing, I only gave you 15 minutes. Hoped it would humble you but… clearly you have a talent for looking this way” Larissa never once took her eyes off of you except when she traced them up and down your body. This made you insane, never had your heart done this, not even when you worked out, not even for anyone else but you felt as if you were about to vomit up all of your internal organs. Oddly this complement made you more self conscious, you had to be perfect for her, you could never face failure.

“Oh… well thank you, if you think that. However I could never come close to the beauty you posses principal” you looked away shy as you tried to return her kind compliment.

“I think you may call me Larissa, y/n. After all, this is a date, be it however small” peering down at you she smirked and reached out her hand to open the car door to her right and then gestured for you to get in.

“Thank you, Larissa” was all you could muster as you climbed into the car.

Larissa shut the door behind you and for that moment when she hadn’t reached the other side to climb in herself yet, was peace. You had approximately 6 seconds before she climbed in the car door next to you. You drew in shaky breaths and fiddled with the end of your sleeve in the pit of your lap.

Larissa opened the door and you felt an icy breeze seep in from outside, leaving you shivering and pulling you back into reality. As she sat down you could smell her perfume, it was like you were high.

The car ride was torture. Larissa’s elegant hands gripped the steering wheel delicately, she could have been driving you in the opposite direction to murder you in the woods but you were so focused on her you wouldn’t have noticed.

“I don’t see you around a lot, on the weekends.” Larissa said, it was almost like a question, you were thankful that she had decided to break this silence that was quite awkward but strangely nice, you found it nice, the human-ness of being awkward.

“I prefer to become a recluse after the week. Hide away in a book or something.” You were looking at Larissa little more confidently now. “Im boring, I know”

Larissa laughed lightly, a sound which left your mind spinning out of control “nonsense, I find people who read to be the most interesting and by the sound of the music I hear coming from your room, you are certainly anything but boring. Anyway, whose your favourite author? If you have one”

You looked out of the window thoughtfully, god you hadn’t thought about this before but the answer came relatively easy to you “Jane Austen, I just love the way her writing makes the most mundane things magical. I think I must have read Emma a thousand times” she smiled at your answer as if she understood perfectly well, you were bushing madly but you couldn’t help feeling shameful. She was your boss after all “what about you? You got a favourite literary genius?”

“Hmmm, probably, Stephen king” Larissa answered, you loved the way her face looked when she was deep in thought, the orange sun shining through the window onto her perfect being, god you wished it could be this way forever; you sat in her car, falling apart with every word

“You look like the type” you told her.

Amused by this she asked “and why is that?”

“You’re very mysterious, I know little about you yet I want to know everything because I feel like everything you do and say are the most extraordinary things a girl could witness” as soon as the words left your mouth you wondered if you had overstepped. You noticed her face change to an emotion you had trouble recognising, you cursed yourself for possibly making her uncomfortable.

“You’re clearly an Austen fan. Looking at the world and everything in it with a romantic view that I so very much envy” she said, focusing on the road in front of her that was meeting with the outskirts of the town.

“It has so far been my fatal flaw I have begun to see. It’s messy, often delusional to mix ones feelings of sadness and desire.” The feelings flowed out of you and you began to wonder how a conversation about books had grown into this.

“Well, if it makes you think I’m interesting then I suppose it isn’t all that bad, to be a romantic. Your kind make great poets” the smile you had missed so the last few minutes returned to Larissa’s face “you write poetry right? At least that’s what I assume you are always scribbling down in the plethora of notebooks you carry with you”

You wondered how she had been so diligent to notice this.

“I only assume because I can see the shapes of the writing, I thought they looked like stanzas… they always look enchanting” she explained herself, she didn’t want to seem weird, like she had been reading it

“Yes, it is, poetry. Good poetry though? That I haven’t the slightest idea” you sighed “I write it to get my emotions out of my system. When you see so many spirits of the dead caught up because of unfinished business, it makes you more eager to make sure your own business is well and truly buried. I don’t write poetry for it to be good”

Larissa parked the car in front of the weathervane and turned to look at you with a smile “maybe one day, perhaps you’ll allow me to be the judge, of wether it is good, or wether it is not. However, I can not imagine it would be anything other than positively striking”

Larissa opened the car door for you once again and this time took your hand as you stepped out, like a princess who needed protecting. Her act of chivalry made you laugh to which she said “I have to ensure a fair lady’s safety when she has ridden in my chariot” she put on a stupid voice and you rolled your eyes before getting a little confident “the only fair lady I see here is the one stood right in front of me”

The principal was taken aback for a moment, shocked at your display of flattery but then appreciating this, linked her arm in yours and together you walked into the weathervane.

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #principal weems #brienne of tarth #gay #lesbian #wednsday addams #larissa weems oneshot #fanfic #larissa x reader #sandman lucifer

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ateezivy · 1 year

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without you

( 2023 )

warning ! mentions of eating disorder, lots of crying, all i can think of, lmk if i missed anything.

Tour without Ivy has been weird. There is a missing piece in the puzzle. And while all the boys have been having fun on tour, it’s still not the same. And it’s evident to people everywhere. However, tonight’s the night. They get their girl back.

She called them a few weeks ago with the news that she would be in the audience in Berlin, and then she would join them again on tour. They screamed at this news. like actually screamed. But honestly, who wouldn’t, Ateez is going to be a full nine again. The boys got all hyped on the way to the arena. Jumping around, singing, yelling, a lot of yelling. Soon, they were all backstage chilling while the staff set everything up before rehearsal.

“Boys,” their manager calls for them. They all look up and see him standing there staring at them. He didn’t say anything, earning a confused look from Hongjoong. They all watch as he walks over to the door and opens it. And in walks Ivy.

Mingi was of course the first to jump off the couch and run over to her, hugging her tightly, and kissing her softly. The boys all piled over to her, suffocating her in a group hug.

“Make sure to let her breathe,” the manager said before walking out laughing.

“Okay, he’s right, let me breathe” she giggled as all the boys backed away, taking a look at her. She was planning on getting ready in the dressing room before she had to go out into the crowd, not wanting to be in her planned outfit longer than she had to. So she had on a pair of mom jeans and one of Mingi’s many tour hoodies. She looked so much healthier and happier. You can only see some much on a FaceTime call. She also cut her hair short with some bangs, that one they haven’t seen.

“You cut your hair!” Wooyoung pointed out

“Yeah! You like it?” She asked, messing with the ends of her hair

“Love it” Hongjoong smiled.

Everyone sat down, Mingi has not let go of her since she walked in, he needs to make sure she was there. “So, how was your hiatus?” Jongho asked, watching her sigh a snuggle closer to her boyfriend

“Hell,” she commented “There was nothing to do, I had too much free time. And you know they didn’t even let me drive for the first few weeks?” She scoffed.

“Yeah, they wanted you to have that time to yourself Livvy, that’s what it’s for” Seonghwa chuckled and ruffled her hair.

“Don’t care, torture”

“How dare they make sure you’re safe,” Hongjoong said sarcastically

“See you get it” Ivy joked along and walked around the room looking for something.

“What’re you looking for?” Mingi asked, getting up to help her

“Something to eat” The boys all smiled, it was clear that the hiatus helped. Of course, she’s been through this before, she understood the steps to get through it, and because she was away from her family, and her life, she was more motivated to get better.

“How long did it take?” Yunho asked her. She knew what he meant. How long did it take her to eat a full meal without throwing it up?

“Not too long, just have to eat foods I’m comfortable with for right now, My therapist told me to eat a new fear food once a week, so I ate a burger yesterday,” She said “I feel like the only thing I can eat without wanting to vomit is salad, fruit, and that’s like it.”

It’s sad, her once favorite foods have become the foods she fears. She may be back from hiatus, but she is still forever healing.

“Sorry to interrupt,” one of the stylists came in, smiling when she saw Ivy, “But you guys have to get ready for soundcheck, Ivy, honey, you’re always welcome to join”

Ivy jumped up and ran over to the stylist, hugging her and filling her in on everything she did and didn’t do over break. The boys all laughed as they followed the girls. They put their earpieces in and get their mics, Ivy looks over and sees her purple mic untouched next to Jongho’s before he picks it up.

“You wanna come out?” He asked, pointing to her microphone, he hopes she says yes. “There’s Atiny out there, but it’s not a lot”

“Sure” She smiles and has Mingi help her with her earpieces quickly as she picks her mic up. Mingi slips the mic pack into her back pocket, giving her butt a tap, which would be more surprising if he didn’t do that. He then feeds the attached ear-pieces through her hoodie, letting her catch them from over her shoulders, she lets them dangle there as she turns her mic on.

“Okay, c’mon.” their manager smiles. The boys rush up to the stage, Mingi holds his girlfriend's waist from behind as he kisses her on the cheek before they follow behind the others. As she went out behind the others, the VIP’s immediately recognized her and started greeting her. She assumed Hongjoong asked them to stay calm, or Atiny was just that brilliant to stay calm in that moment. She felt fairly anxious singing in front of fans again, the last time she did she sounded horrible and then fainted.

“Don’t dance with us, you haven’t stretched and I’m not letting you when you just ate” Hongjoong said sternly, giving her a stool that was set on stage for her. While she was gone, Wooyoung normally took her lines, and she’s excited to hear him sing her lines tonight too. But right now, her lines are hers again. Some staff set some water beside her as the music started. As her lines in New World came up, she felt nerves and excitement build up in her chest. As soon as she started singing, the boys all smiled so brightly while dancing, the VIP fans cheered her on, singing along, and the fans outside started screaming loud enough for her to hear. She chuckled out of disbelief through her lines. After New World, Hongjoong and Seonghwa ran off stage quickly. “What’re they doing?” She asked San who grabbed himself water. The sweat from his forehead dripped onto the stage floor as he looked at her. He shrugged, but it was obvious he knew.

“What are you guys up to” She giggled as Yeosang and Mingi walk over right as San left. “You’ll see, be patient” Mingi smiled and rubbed her thigh. The stool she sat on was getting uncomfortable, there was no backrest and she just now realized she was slouching. She fixed her posture, showing a face of pain, Yeosang noticed and rubbed her back for a second before she heard a familiar melody play through the speakers. Her song It Will Stop started playing.

Fans outside started screaming like crazy, and the fans in the arena started freaking out as well. Hongjoong and Seonghwa ran back up on stage, ushering her to sing her lyrics. This song was special to her. It was the first song she wrote for herself. It was the easiest, yet most difficult thing to write. She put all her emotions into the song, knowing that one day, she would relate to it again.

She sang the song without struggle, her boys watching and singing along with pride. After it ended they all cheered for her. The boys, the fans, the staff, everyone. She felt herself getting shy, smiling with her face hidden in her hands. Yunho jumped over and picked her up over his shoulder, making her squeal and almost drop her mic. Somehow, Mingi and Yunho managed to sit her on both of their shoulders for some pictures. There have been so many pictures and videos taken from this moment. She can’t wait to go home and frame them all.

After a small amount of time, Ivy sat on the edge of the stage to talk to the fans while the boys calmed down. “Hi” she smiled and the Atiny’s greeted her back. “How are you Ivy?” A fan with a deep accent asked. “I’m good how are you guys?” She smiled as a chorus of ‘good’ and ‘great’ was said amongst the small crowd. She felt a hand on her back, making her turn and see Mingi sitting on her left and Wooyoung on her right. They talked to the fans for sometime, avoiding questions of Ivy’s return with simple shrugs and changes of questions.

After soundcheck, they all walked back to the dressing room. Ivy had grabbed her bag full of a change of clothes for the concert from the ‘hangout room’, as they called it. Mingi went in with her, just to have a minute alone. “You sure you don’t want to stay back here and watch?” He asked, hugging her. There was everything she needed in that room, a TV to watch the concert from, a bathroom, food, water, and outlets. Everything. It’s also 10 times safer back here than in the crowd.

“I’m sure, I got a good spot, the bodyguards will be with me.” There was a spot right behind the pit where staff usually stayed, it was a spot for people to walk through before, after, and during the show.

“Okay,” he nodded, not arguing with it because he knew she would be in good hands. The two shared a few kisses and giggles before they had to go and get ready. Ivy went into the bathroom to change before everyone else. She walked out wearing a red bodycon dress, a black oversized leather jacket, and some Prada boots.

“Ah, you look so good!” The stylists all cheered, making the boys all turn and look at her. The dress showed off her figure, she had gotten so much healthier already.

“This jacket might piss me off three songs in, so if you see me throw this back on, shut your mouth.” She held up the hoodie she was just wearing, making everyone chuckle.

“You’re so cute” San chuckled and hugged her.

“How long are you staying back?” Seonghwa questioned

“Right before you guys go on they’re gonna sneak me out” She stated with a smile

“Good, cause you’re matching the first outfits, it will look good for pictures” Wooyoung clapped.

The time went by, the boys got everything they needed to do done, and finally, they hear the fans piling in and singing as they all got ready. “Ah, handsome” she dramatically sighed and gushed over her boys. They all rolled their eyes as they got ready to take pictures with their girl. The pictures were perfect and so cute, they would more than likely post them that night.

“Okay, you guys go on here soon, get mic’d up, let's go” Their manager clapped, rushing everyone over to the mics, “I gotta go,” Ivy told them as they put their pic packs back in.

“Just a second Livvy” Hongjoong made her freeze. “Everyone ready?” He looked around, seeing all of them placing their earpieces around their neck. They nod and bundle up in a circle, wrapping their arms around each other as the staff flashes their lights and takes videos. The girl happily dances and jumps next to Mingi and Jongho. “Okay, let’s go out there, perform with our best. We got Ivy with us tonight, so we have to do our absolute best.” Hongjoong goes on with his usual speech and praises “Ivy?”

“Oh, uh, don’t fuck up, I love you guys”

The boys all protested against her ‘speech’ and laughed

“Okay, okay. Just perform like you guys always do, with or without me, I want you guys to do your best, and have so much fun out there.” Mingi smiles and kisses her forehead.

“Okay, 1,2,3…”

“Nine makes one team!” As a full nine again.

“I love you guys,” she hugged them all individually “I’ll be out there, look for me”

When she got to Mingi, he wasted no time in giving her a deep kiss, bending himself forward and her into a damn-near backbend. The boys cheered them on as she laughed into the kiss.

She was soon rushed out into the audience, bodyguards circling her, yelling at people to move out of the way. She reached the back of the pit where security and other staff stayed to make sure there were no audience members out of place.

She smiled and waved at fans who saw her and cheered for her.

The concert went on amazingly, Ivy sang along with every word. It didn’t take long for Mingi to find her first, after that all the boys would check on her at least 10 times each song. It soon got to that time when the boys all stand there and interact with the fans.

“And tonight, we have the most special guest” Wooyoung yelled and the crowd screamed. At this point Ivy still didn’t change into her hoodie, the boy assumed she was fairly comfortable in that new jacket. She had her lightstick and phone in hand. The camera panned to her, showing her on the big screen as she laughed and waved at the boys.

“IVY-AHHHH” San yelled and Yunho clapped with Hongjoong. “She looks amazing doesn’t she Atiny?”

Ivy continued laughing and covering her face so she didn’t show off her blush. The fans screamed in agreement. “Ivy, I think we all have some things to say,” Hongjoong started “Should I go first? Anyone else wants to go?”

Yunho and Yeosang shook their heads as the others gestured that he could go first.

“Since Ivy first came to the company, I knew she was something so special. What I didn’t know were the amazing effects she has had on Ateez.” Atiny cheered after the translator spoke before he continued. “It’s incredible how much you have impacted so many people's life. You make Ateez special Jisoo-ah. And during this hiatus, it’s been hard on us, but we are so glad you took your time to heal. We love you, Ivy, and I think everyone can agree when I say we are glad to have you back home.”

Ivy was tearing up, mouthing “I love you” to Hongjoong.

Wooyoung nodded and brought his mic to his lip. Oh god, she thought to herself, this could either embarrass the living fuck out of her or make her bawl her eyes out. “I’m not sure if many people know, but Ivy and I used to not get along,” Ivy laughed at his start off “But now I would say we are the closest we have ever been. Through the years, I’ve got to learn so much about you. I know when you’re upset, happy, or mad. I’ve had the pleasure to watch how much you’ve grown over the years. And I just know how proud your family is of you. And I know you’re dad would be so beyond proud” Oh god, she’s crying. She misses her daddy, so dearly. She hopes he’s proud of her. “I wish you came to me. Or any of us when you were struggling,” now Wooyoung was crying “I love you Jisoo-ah, and I would do anything to see you happy and healthy all the time…” They both bawled as Yunho walked over to Wooyoung, hugging him. Mingi turned away from the crowd as he cried, Jongho tearing up in the corner. The fans all cried and called out.

Seonghwa sniffed before he spoke up, “Being able to be someone you feel safe around has been such an honor. My number one goal is to always make sure my members are safe and happy, and sometimes, I feel like I fail at that. I know there’s only so much I can do Ivy, I know. Please call me more, please tell me when you need help. Come to me more often. I want to help Olivia. Please let me help” Seonghwa sobbed, begging. Ivy wanted nothing more than to run up on stage and hold every single one of them.

Yeosang prepared himself for whatever words came out of his mouth when he spoke “I didn’t know you were hurting until it was too late. And, I can’t help but feel I could’ve done more for you. I can’t lose you Ivy-ah, none of us can. We love you, and it hurts going on stage and not having you here. I’m begging you to focus on yourself more.”

Between each speech was a moment of cries. Each member would take their time to prepare themselves, make sure they can say what they need. And a couple times they couldn’t. their speeches would fall short because they can’t say what they need to say like this.

San was next “Atiny and Ateez have been waiting for you, we will always wait for you. You always have support by your side at all times Livvy. We’ve been hoping that you recover well and on your own time, and your being here tonight shows us how well you have been doing. And now you’re home, and we can help you. And be up your butt 24/7” He ends his speech with a slight giggling, hoping to bring light to such an emotional moment. Ivy chuckled through her tears and shook her head.

“Well, I don’t know about you, Ivy, but I had trouble sleeping last night because I was so excited to see you again. And I think I even texted you” Yunho laughed, tears streaming down “You’ve always supported us when we need you, you’ve always been here for us. You’re probably the most kind and most empathetic person any of us have ever met Jisoo-ah. And even in times when I didn’t think I needed support, you were still there, whether I wanted it or not, you were there. You’ve always been there. And I just can’t believe I let you struggle for so long. Ivy, you deserve everything good in the world. I wish I could just give you the earth” He smiles with the tears falling down his shirt. Jongho nodded to himself, knowing he had to go next. He didn’t have to, but he wanted to and needed to for himself and Ivy.

“When I first met everyone I kind of felt like the odd one in the group. And then you came in and you had to feel like the odd one,” The crowd laughs along with Ivy as he continued “but I never really knew what it was like to be so close to someone. And ever since you joined our family, I never felt alone. I never felt like I didn’t fit in. You always made sure I got to bond with everyone, and that we made the steps we needed to take to be able to become a family. And now, I look at all of us, and, I can’t even imagine Ateez without Ivy. Ateez wouldn’t be Ateez without any of us, especially you.”

Jongho wasn’t the kind of guy to open up like this, and Ivy never knew these things, she never knew Jongho felt this way…

And finally, Mingi. Ivy couldn’t even prepare herself for Mingi’s speech… her chest tightened, and tears fell as she watched her boyfriend wipe his tears away.

“Without you, I don’t think I would be the person I am now. Without you, Ateez wouldn’t be Ateez. I’ve always wanted to just feel loved and cared about. And being with you, it’s taught me so much about myself. I just- I can’t believe how far all of us have gone. I can’t believe this is my life. And it’s thanks to you Jisoo-ah. Watching you grow and become the woman you are, it’s incredible. And I always think about all the times we’ve stayed up later writing songs, or just talking because we couldn’t sleep. Our Facetime calls, our late night snack time. All of it is so special to me. I love you so much, Olivia. I’m nothing without you.”

They all cried and hugged, wishing they could have Ivy up there, but they had to move on before things got caught up. The concert went on and ended after a few more songs. She would’ve loved to stay in the audience for the encore, but she had to run backstage before then so she didn’t get lost in a moving crowd. She ran through the halls once the manager told her they were out there, Mingi was of course the first she reached. He lifted her as she wrapped her legs around his. She cried into his shoulder, mumbling ‘I love you’s into his shirt. Mingi continued walking with her like that, rubbing her back before placing her on the ground once reaching the dressing room. The other boys all got to hug her and cry with her at last.

She’s home. And they weren’t a complete home without her.

taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon @txt-yaomi @starmaniic

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observeowl · 1 year

Text

Sorry mama N.R

Natasha Romanoff x daughter!Reader

Summary: Due to R being sick, Natasha was removed from the mission and spends the day taking care of her

Natasha POV The rest of the Avengers have been slightly busier than me, going on more missions since Y/N was still young. I wasn’t taken off the mission entirely, I still had missions to go but since this was slightly more risk taking, Tony decided it was better for me to stay behind.

Thank goodness for Tony’s thinking because on the same day they left, Y/N was sick and it would have been terrible if I had left. She vomited on me this morning when I woke her up and it was apparently very funny to her. “I vomit on you, so funny.” She said repeatedly after I washed myself up.

“Oh yeah, you think it’s funny?” I booped her nose and she scrunched her face. I would have tickled her but I didn’t want her to feel too sick. I much prefer her bubbly self and was glad that she wasn’t feeling too sick and crying all the time.

I spent the entire day taking care of her from the moment I woke up. I placed the coolfever pad on her forehead in an attempt to cool her fever down as quickly as possible.

Using the recipe that Wanda has given me with a step by step video knowing how dumb I am with the kitchen, I prepared food for Y/N. I didn’t make the kitchen a mess so I think I did alright. After tasting it to make sure it was edible, I cooled down the food making sure I wouldn’t scorch my baby’s tongue.

Once it was cool enough to touch, I went to wake Y/N from her playpen. She was sleeping peacefully and I stroked her cheeks lightly to wake her up. She brought so much joy to my life that I never imagined I could have.

“Mama?” She said groggily as she opened her eyes.

“Yes, it’s me. It’s mama. It’s time to eat, sweetie.” I picked her up and placed her on my hip while she laid her head on my shoulder, the sleepiness had yet to leave her entirely. I placed her on the couch before going to the kitchen to take the food that I have plated.

“Y/N, please?” She was making it very difficult to feed her, moving her head each time causing a mess all over. I wasn’t even sure what was the use of wearing the bip when she was going to make a mess anyway. It usually wasn’t this hard to feed her, I wasn’t sure if it was because she was sick or the lack of help from the others to distract and entertain her while I fed her.

I sighed and turned around to take a piece of tissue to wipe her face when I heard a thud. I turned around to see she had fallen off the couch and I dropped everything to make sure she was okay. “Oh my god Y/N, are you okay?”

Surprisingly she wasn’t crying but she clung onto me and said. “Sorry mama.” I rubbed her back while sitting on the floor whispering sweet nothing to her for a while before moving.

I made sure she still had her balance and wasn’t feeling giddy before putting her back in the safety of her playpen. After washing everything up, I went to see that she was playing with her blocks, trying to stack them as high as possible. “Baby, I want to show you something.”

“Yes, mama?” She said but she was still trying to place the square block on the triangle which wasn’t working.

“Come here baby.” I picked her up and placed her on my lap with my phone in front of her. She instantly was drawn to the electronics and reached her hand out for it and I had to push her arms down and work through the screen with one hand.

“Baby look.” I showed her the CCTV recording of her falling off and she started giggling and clapping her arms non-stop to the point I don’t know if she knows it’s her on the screen.

“Some more. Some more.” Seeing that she was so happy, I clipped that part for her and replayed it until she got tired of it.

“I was so worried when you fell off, Y/N.” My heart was already broken since she’s sick and she gave me a heart attack when she fell off but I’m glad she was okay in the end.

#natasha x you #natasha x reader #black widow 2021 #natalia romanova #mcu #avengers #marvel #marvel movies #child reader #sorry mama #my writing

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withahappyrefrain · 7 months

Note

Positivity night can’t continue without giving a shoutout to @sailor-aviator @goldenseresinretriever @teacupsandtopgun @horseshoegirl

Wickett was the first one to turn me around on OC. Her beautiful story “Damn Those Dog Tags” came at a time where I had lost my grandpa. Her story about learning to live with your grief and embracing it rather than running away from it found me at a time where I refused to acknowledge mine. It has helped me immensely and every chapter is like a love letter. I cry, i giggle and i blush. It also helps that we got a sexy Jake Seresin who was doing his best to get Liz to be his and who acknowledged that he needed to change and grow for the better. Plus she gave us an adorable little bug that makes me question my decision to not have kids. I am so sad that their story is coming to an end soon, but I am BEYOND excited to see what else she comes up with.

Beth’s story of Jake and Felicity has captivated me ever since I finally started reading it. Flick is such an amazing strong as hell character and I want to be her so bad. So confident, hilarious, smart and just…10/10 I’m obsessed with her. Reading her relationship with Jake flourish has been an absolute delight. Another favorite part of her story is Jake’s background!! You don’t normally get to see male characters be victims of emotional and psychological abuse, and while it has been absolutely heartbreaking learning what Jake had to go through…it just means his love and trust towards felicity is real and strong. His character development makes me want to cry in the best way. I love these two so much and their story and I just want to give everyone a hug.

Ruthie’s story of the San Diego Daggers has me on a chokehold currently. The way that she has me rooting so fucking hard for Jake and Bugs is actually embarrassing. Bug’s story while it remains a mystery tug at my heartstrings because I just know that she is trying her best, and just wants to do what she loves, which is sports medicine. Also Bugs is so fucking funny (running over Mav, complimenting Jake on his tits) her banter between characters has me dying of laughter and also crying. Crying because once we learned how Jake was betrayed and played by his old team? Girl. As someone who trusted a sports coach many many many years ago, whose actions only put me in an incredible dark and depressive state…it hurts. Because these are the people you trust with your well being. Anyway, the team dynamic is just too incredible and while they are still a new team, you can tell they have each others backs. I cant wait to read more of her work as well as Jake and Bug’s relationship (if I ever stop blushing from their flirting)

Now on to my dear dear Liz. What can I say about Liz that I haven’t said before. It all started with Jake Seresin as an outlaw in the old wild west and a little character named Scout whose storyline hit close to home. I mean what’s not to love about it?! But then she introduced us to Bob, Bradley, Birdie and Bunny and let me tell you I’ve been a goner and a fan ever since. Her ability to build the worlds in her stories by using history and fantasy is unmatched. Her gals are so unique, strong and hella smart all in their own ways. Every chapter she posts leaves me running to her DMs and to a long ass Reblog where I just vomit all my feelings. Her other stories Fool’s Fare and Meet Me At The Sea currently also have me on a chokehold and i day dream about them constantly. I know I said this already…but Liz’s storytelling is so fantastic and she’s so incredible at incorporating magic and fantasy aspects that continue to make me cry and beg for more. Liz never sleeps and is always down to explore Drabbles, constantly asks us for our opinions and is always down to try new and different AUs. I just love her so much. Also if you haven’t yet, check out her OG work, it made me cry and it’s just so good about exploring what makes us human and why as humans we need to preserve and learn from history’s

There’s so many more authors that I love and adore as well as their work, but just wanted to give a shout out to them. I’m forever grateful that I found people just as obsessed about these actors and characters. It makes me feel so validated. Anyway love you all!!

This is such a sweet, wonderful shout out!!!! I cannot wait to dive into their writing? ♥️♥️

#positivity night

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dre6ming · 2 years

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter VII ~ mixed signals

Masterlist <all chapters here>

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Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: cursing, fluff, crying … idk that all I think

Plot: after meeting Joshua there’s a part of you that feels like he would be a wiser decision of a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can just wash Austin away. FaceTime calls become your thing with him and all the mixed signals have you twisted.

Word count: ~6900

Disclaimer: everything is fake !!!

"Does this look ok?" I ask twirling around in front of my phone for Timmy to see. I'm in the bathroom of the studio cursing myself for not thinking to bring a backup outfit when I left the house, once again in sweats. "Sweet dumpling you're going with him on walk in the park, sweats is the best thing to wear." He says. "Ugh of course you think so, you're a boy." I sigh exasperated, throwing my hands up in the air.

Timothee giggles at my worked up stance, which only makes me more angry. "Ok that's it, I'm hanging up and calling Roxi." Before he gets to defend himself, I end the call and dial Roxanne on FaceTime. The only reason why she wasn't my first option to call, was because she got back very late last night and I wanted to let her sleep as much as possible. It takes a minute for her to pick up, but she does eventually do it. "Ugh what?" I wince a the fact that I woke her up from her sleep, beating myself up for being selfish here. "Need help, do I look ok to go out with Joshua?" I ask.

In a second, she sits up on the bed, trying to fix herself up a bit and concentrate on the matter at hand. Giving me a good look over, I can see the wheels in her head turning. "Yeah, it's a park date and you look extremely hot, just let your hair down." Taking the hair elastic out of my messy bun, I let my hair fall on my back, brushing my hands through it to detangled some of the knots. "Perfect!"

"Of I don't know what I'm doing Roxanne, last night all I could think of was Austin. He called me" clutching my head in my hands I rest my elbows against the bathroom sink. "He called?" She seems just as surprised as was when it happened. "Yeah" I nod. "He did and we cooked together, then he asked me to come over at his house in LA, so he can make me home made pizza, then we said good night, except he said: sweet dreams, my darling. My darling? What the fuck?" I vomit words at a fast speed, my voice raising a bit as I get more frustrated. "Woah (y/n) breathe, you're turning purple."

"I'm being serious Roxanne, what am I to understand from all of this? He has a girlfriend" this whole situation is so twisted and confusing, I've been dreaming all night of him, but here I am now, stressing for a date with another guy, because I have to get Austin out of my system. "I know and I am taking you serious. I don't know what to say, I think he likes you. Plus you said he told you the relationship was just PR, so maybe it doesn't count to him or Kaia." I see Roxanne's point of view, but still it's not that easy.

"Maybe, but the public eye still counts them as a couple and I don't want me and Austin to be dragged any more than we already have." She sighs, bringing the covers up to her nose, as I chew on my lips waiting for her input. "Well why don't you just see where this thing with Joshua goes and then you can talk to Austin-"

"Talk to him? Do you actually think I have the courage to do that?" I yell at her, cause she must be making fun of me. No way am I going to embarrass myself and tell him about my crush. "Ok but won't he know 'dandelions' is about him?" Biting at the inside of my cheek, I play with the ends of my sleeves. I have thought about it, of course I have, but I tried to make the song as vague as possible. "It's too vague for him to figure out."

"Are you sure? I mean..." I shake my head, not wanting to go over that hill just yet. "But you want to know what's the craziest thing?" I ask, picking her interest back up. "What?" Roxanne asks excitedly. "When we were talking at one point he saw the bracelet on my writs and he seemed jealous?!" I'm still not sure that's what he saw or if that was what his reaction meant, but it's the best I could come up with, to explain his behavior. Roxi gasps, covering her mouth with the blankets. "There you have it, he for sure likes you."

"But what if it was all in my head?" She's quick to shake her head. "Noooo first of all, he called you, then made sure you ate, then he invited you over, not to say he called you 'my darling'" she swoons on camera, making me giggle. But the nagging feeling in my stomach stays. "I have to go, I'm going to be late. Love you" I wave "Good luck!" She says throwing the phone somewhere on the bed before I end the call, giving me a good view of the ceiling.

Walking out of the bathroom still laughing, I hug Jack on my way out. Matt is already waiting for me in the car, driving in the direction of Central Park, as soon as I get in. Today is a beautiful day, the temperature is high enough that you don't need a jacket to keep warm, my favorite kind of weather. I put the window down and take big gulps of air, it's very rare that the air smells clean enough for it to be enjoyable, so I'm profiting of it now.

Central Park looks beautiful this time of year, it's still too early into spring for any over the top nature growth, but it's late enough in the winter time, that the grass is a dark fresh green. Joshua is waiting for me right where I told him to, wearing a grey sweater and black shorts, which seems a bit too little clothing for the day, but whatever if he's not cold who am I to tell him what to wear. A smile paints itself on his lips when he sees me and I can't help but reciprocate.

"Hello." He says going in for a hug which I welcome putting my arms around him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck enjoying his minty scent. "Hi!" I whisper back and Joshua laughs a bit, making me relax in his embrace. "You look gorgeous!" He says, after letting me go and roaming his eyes over my frame. "Thank you!" I try to play it cool, but I know I'm blushing a deep red shade.

"After you!" He says, motioning for me to walk forward, imitating a valet and rotating his hand dramatically, which causes me to smile. I start walking and he follows me close, only a few inches away from me, our dangling hands barely touching. There's this irresistible current between our hands and when his pinky finger brushes the back of my hand, I pull it away, bringing it to my chest. "Sorry." He says looking forward and licking his lips. With my heart beating out of my chest, I decide to just take a leap of faith and I slowly reach my hand out to tangle my fingers with his. We lock eyes and in that moment this doesn't feel right nor wrong, it just feels numb, a burning question being branded into my brain: how would it feel to hold hands with Austin?

Shaking my head, I blink looking forward, I can't think like that, I'm with Joshua right now and Austin has a girlfriend. I laugh at myself a bit, I keep telling myself the only thing stopping me from fully accepting my crush is Kaia, but I know it's in fact just my own stupid insecurities. "What's your favorite color?" Joshua asks, breaking the silence. "Hm red? Or purple. Yours?" He smiles at me, before answering. "Light blue, just like the sky right now." As if on queue, we look up at the clear sky. The same shade of blue as Austin's eyes, I notice, so I have to force my eyes away. "It's a good choice for a favorite color." I mumble as I drag him over to the grass, before sitting down. Joshua sits next to me, playing with the hem of his sweater. This meet cute feels so different form the previous one, it's like there's this awkwardness between us.

"Did I do something?" I ask out of fear, that I might be the culprit in this. He's quick to deny with a shake of his head. "No, I'm just, well I don't mean to pry, but that article." I suck in a breath, praying to god his next words will be anything but the judgement I expect, because I don't think I can hold it together if he's about to say something mean. "It's nothing, I know how the press works" Joshua says, holding his hands up. "I was just wondering, are you and Austin?" He doesn't dare to actually speak the words, leaving the question hanging. I brush a nervous hand through my hair, picking my next words carefully, licking my lips, before speaking. "We're friends, just friends." Why did that hurt? It's the truth, so why did it hurt? Oh, yeah, because I like him and I want him to be more.

"Oh, ok, cool cool" Joshua says, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. And then there's silence again, awkward silence. I absentmindedly pick at the grass, counting in my head up to 100, to occupy my mind, because if I let it sail free it will go back to Austin. "So I saw that you were in the studio yesterday, how's it working?" He asks. "It's good, it feels amazing to give my words meaning through music. I used to write them just as poems and now I have to make up melodies for them, which only adds to the power of what I'm saying."

"So if you were to choose, lyrics over melody or melody over lyrics?" This catches me a little off guard and it takes a second to come up with an answer. "Lyrics." I say confident in my choice. "Why?" Joshua pushes. "I love words and yeah I guess, as I said, melody adds some power to them, but I'm the kind of person that listens more to the lyrics than the actual melody." He listens to me closely, while his eyes search for mine. When we lock eyes there's this connection between us. It takes my breath away and I fiddle around with the bracelet on my wrist, which causes Joshua to look down. He smiles, moving one hand over to my wrist. He twists the bracelet around so that the purple gem faces him and he brushes his fingers over it. "You like it?"

His eyes lock back onto mine, glimmering with excitement. "I do." Pleased with my answers he brings my wrist up to his lips, kissing it tenderly, while holding eye contact. My cheeks feel hot and I can't help the way my heart skips a beat. "I'm glad" he says.

I clear my throat and take my hand out of his, ignoring the voice in the back of my head saying not to. "Do you want to play a game?" I suggest, even though I have no game in mind that we could play to make time pass. "Sure" he says, leaning back on his hands. "What game?"

"I haven't thought that far in advance" I confess laughing. "Truth or dare?" He suggests and even though that game always felt kind of like a trap, I agree. "Ok ladies first."

"Truth or dare?" I ask and Joshua replies instantly. "Truth" tapping my pointer against my chin, I think of something to ask, if it were me and Austin playing this game I'd have so much to ask, but with Joshua there's not much I'd like to know. Taking a cold shower mentally, I focus back on the task. "Favorite flavor of ice cream" he giggles before answering. "The classic chocolate" of course he'd like chocolate.

"Truth or dare?" What if I wanted to be a little risky? "Dare" ok I might regret that later, but the adrenaline I feel, is a plus for now, so I'll focus on that. "Do a hand stand" I laugh thinking he's joking, but I can see that he's very much not. "Ok but I'll need some help"

"Sure" we both stand up, shaking some of the dust off of our clothes. Sighing I bend over and prompt my palms in the grass, spreading my fingers. "Ok I'll hold your legs. On one" I breathe in "two" he puts a hand on the small of my back and the other before my thighs. "Three" I halt my legs up in the air and he helps me up, holding me by the waist. My top is sliding down, but he's quick to catch it and hold it up so that I'm not exposed. "I can't believe I'm doing this" I say surprised by the fact that actually managed to do it.

Joshua chuckles asking if I'm ready to come back down. "Yeah, I'm ready" I say and he supports me as I put my feet back down. Standing up straight feels weird with all the blood that had rushed to my head, but he catches me before I fall, holding me close to him. Our faces are inches apart, our breaths merging into one. I don't know who moved first, but his lips brush against mine and when I don't pull back he tightens his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let myself be engulfed by the kiss, his warm lips dancing in sink with mine. I feel butterflies in my stomach and dizzy in the head.

"Wow" he says pulling back a bit, holding his forehead glued to mine, both breathing heavy from the previous lack of air. I feel like Joshua is expecting me to say something, but I don't know what I should say. The kiss felt nice, but it felt no more passionate than the ones I had to do on screen for a script, it lacked something. It lacked someone. Or maybe I'm just self sabotaging.

Screwing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath. "I think we should probably stay friends" I say, taking a step back, working on unclasping the bracelet for around my wrist. I see the hurt in Joshua's eyes, but I know that if I don't do this now, we'll get too far down a road that will lead nowhere. "I'm sorry if I moved too fast, I should've-" he says and pain shoots through my chest. "N-no it's n-not I'm n-not. Please just - I'm sorry. I just don't think I feel like that for you." Lie, that's a lie, but I won't admit that now, I'm not yet ready to, tears sting my eyes and the breath gets caught in my chest.

"Please understand, I don't want to hurt you, I think we're better off as friends, I understand if you don't want me to still do the music video with you" closing his eyes, Joshua shakes his head. "No I still want you to do it, if you want to and I guess I appreciate you being honest" he takes my hands, which are still struggling to get the bracelet undone. "But please keep the bracelet, it's a gift." I hate the glossy look in his eyes, knowing I'm responsible for the tears he tries to hold back.

"O- ok, um I should go" I say dropping his hands and walking away. I try to keep my footing normal, but all I want is to get in the car and get home. I find Matt waiting by the car on a park bench and without a word I get in. "Everything ok miss?" He asks concerned, turning to look at me from his drivers seat. My tears start flowing and through the thick curtain of salty water pouring from my eyes I can see he's trying to stay calm, but half failing. "Y-yes I , I'm - he's"

"Did he try something?" Matt says through gritted teeth and I shake my head, wiping away at my tears. "No I just, I think I was mean? I said I just want to be friends"

"And did he push for more?" He asks, giving me a good look over. "No, but I just feel bad for rejecting him." Finally Matt relaxes in his seat, turning back to face the wheel. He turns on the radio and we drive away, no more questions asked.

Getting home, feels nice, my apartment is warm and as soon as I fall on the couch, my two cats come to cuddle with me. The mistake I make is checking my phone, only to see that, me and Joshua were photographed by the paparazzi. They caught us kissing and him helping me do the hand stand. I resist the urge to look at the comments and instead I open FaceTime.

I don't know what goes through my head when my finger rests on top of Austin's name or what ungodly force pushes my finger to actually tap the name and make the call. I panic and I try to hang up, but Austin is way too fast answering, before my better judgment wins. "Hey ther- (y/n)? What's wrong? Were you crying?" Austin asks concerned and I look at my face in the corner of the screen, my eyes are red and puffy and my cheeks are wet with tears. "No" using the back of my hand I wipe at my face, trying to rid of the evidence that I have been bawling my eyes out.

"Please tell me what's wrong" he pleads. "I kissed Joshua and then I told him I want to be just friends" Austin sighs, brushing a hand through his hair. "And did he not take it well?"

"No he was sweet about it, I just feel bad" he smiles at me, which kind of makes me feel better, I don't know why, but it does. "That's sweet of you, but you shouldn't be crying, unless of course you didn't mean to say it." There a twinkle in his eye, almost like he's hoping that's not the case. "No, no I meant it. I just, it didn't feel right, it felt scripted, in a way." I say, trying to explain why I did what I did. "Well there's nothing wrong with the fact that you didn't reciprocate his feelings." Austin says licking his lips.

My eyes get fixated on the pink plush skin of his lips and suddenly I realize I had no business calling him, we are friends I guess, but this is something I should talk about with Timmy and Roxanne, not Austin, we're not that close yet, we barely know each other. "I'm sorry, you're probably busy and I don't even know why I called you." I try to excuse myself, making him laugh. Oh gosh how good his laugh sounds, it's like the sound rings through my bones, turning them to jelly. "No worries, darling, I don't mind"

'Darling', there it is again, that unholy pet name. My tears are long forgotten, but my cheeks keep burning hot, blushing at his every action. "You look so pretty when you blush" Austin mumbles under his breath, almost like he's hoping I can't hear him. But I did hear him, loud and clear, blushing harder and sucking my lips, to stop the whimper resting on my tongue to fall. Austin is now just a frozen picture on my screen, eyes wide open and mouth agape. No one dares to speak, so there's just thick silence filling the air.

"I should go, I have to go over at Taylor's house." I mumble looking away from the screen and picking myself up from the couch. "Sure, yeah, talk soon, (y/n)" I offer him a shy smile, before ending the call. Trying to grip myself back to earth I count my breaths, while I get ready. Putting on a simple dark blue, long sleeve velvet dress and black tights, I braid my hair and apply some perfume. Checking myself out it the mirror, I conclude that I look pretty.

"Come on Matt, I don't want to be late for dinner." I say running out of my bedroom, finding Matt waiting by the elevator already. He smiles at me. "You look very beautiful miss." He says, holding a hand out, making sure the doors to the elevator don't close as I walk in. "Thank you" smiling I lean back against the wall and enjoying the short ride, applying some lip balm before walking out. Slipping into the back seat of the black SUV, I pull my phone out to tell Taylor I'll be there in 20 minutes. The New York dawn is a sight to remember, since it's still cold out, there's steam coming out of the pipeline underneath the city, the steam getting colored by the slowly setting sun. Shades of blue, pink, red and yellow, creating this beautiful painting, of ethereal scenery.

"Text me 20 minutes before you need me to come get you miss, have a good night!" Matt says, as I slide out of the car, saying goodbye to him. I can't wait to see Taylor and talk to her about this whole situation I have on my hands. We speak often, but it's been like a good week since we got the chance to really talk, she was over in London and I was busy, but as of next week I'm supposed to be back in the studio with her as she begins the recording of her new album.

I say 'Hello' to the security and make my way to her door, which she opens expectedly, coming my way with her arms stretched out for a hug. "Ugh I missed you terribly, (y/n)!" Taylor says, welcoming me in. "Hi Joe!" I say and he comes over to share a hug as well. "And hello to you too Benjamin." I lift up the fluffy cat and it starts purring. "Nice to see you, (y/n)" Joe says. Just like Taylor, he is a very nice person and despite the age gap between me and them, we all find each other's company entertaining, so dinner nights like this are an often occurrence, sometimes some more of our friends join, but tonight is just us three.

We make our way into their living room and sit down on the couch. "Do you want wine?" Joe asks going to the kitchen to grab glasses, I know I'm not 21, but in Europe I'm have the appropriate age to drink, so stop judging. "Yes, please." As he disappears into the kitchen, Taylor wiggles her brows at me, before speaking. "So when were you going to tell me you have a boyfriend?" She asks squealing. I blush, trying to hide my face behind Benjamin's furry head. "I don't, he asked me to be in a music video for him and I agreed, then he asked me for lunch and I went, but then we went on that stupid walk and he kissed me and I said I want to be just friends." I vent to her.

"And did you mean it?" I shrug my shoulders, not really knowing the answer, at the time when the kiss happened I was so sure, but the more I think about it the more I doubt it. "Earlier I did, but now?" Sighing I take the glass from Joe, thanking him, before he goes back to the kitchen. He's respectful and knows when some discussions are just for me and Taylor, so he busies himself with taking care of dinner, letting us girls to our own devices. "Ok, but you wrote a song?" I lift a brow at her, not really surprised that Jack told her about 'Dandelions'. She blushes sipping from the glass. "I did, but it's not about Joshua" that's when I get to read a thousand emotions over her face, worry, confusion, curiosity, excitement, all at once. "It's about-" I move my eyes to the side not daring to say his name. I haven't actually admitted Austin is the object of my inspiration for writing 'Dandelions'. Sure Roxi knew about it, but she said it and I just nodded, I didn't actually get to say the words out loud.

"(Y/n)" Taylor says setting her glass down, taking the one I have in hand and doing the same. She then cups both my hands in hers, smoothing the skin over my knuckles. "I saw some of the pictures and you know I hate the media, more then some and I know better then anyone how vicious and untrustworthy it is, but no matter I feel like it's my responsibility as your friend to tell you this. I've been 19 and I've met 30 year olds and they are charming and enticing, but they have no business dating someone ten years younger." I sigh deeply, knowing she is right, but then there's this loud voice in the back of my head saying "he's different", but how could I know, when I just met him. "I know, I just, the song came to me and I couldn't stop writing. Taylor I don't understand myself" before I even know it I'm crying again, my mind is too confused over what's happening. All the mixed signals and all my emotions have been toying with me.

Taylor brings me closer to her, hugging me and letting me cry on her shoulder. "I don't know what to tell you, other then it's so easy to get swept away." She soothes me. "But w-what if-f h-he nice, what i-if he likes me?" She sighs, petting my back as I shake in her arms. "And then there was that stupid article, they called me a serial dater, saying I'm going for another girl's boyfriend, bringing my parents into this." I feel Taylor squeeze me harder, trying to calm me down a bit. I look up from her shoulder as I hear the floor creak and see Joe come in, with a sympathetic smile, handing me a tissue as he sits in a chair across from us. "If I may be allowed to say something" he starts in his thick British accent. "I don't think you should be reading anything the media writes, especially now when you're growing. Developing feelings for people is sacred and it's no one's business. We humans are very susceptible, so reading stuff like that won't clear things. Maybe just let yourself be a lil more free, live in your narrative, not theirs" he's right, reading shit on the internet has often influenced my everyday life and my chronic fear of feelings only got lit up by that article. "(Y/n) do you think you rejected Joshua just because of that piece of crap?" Taylor asks.

I give it a thought, as it seems like something I would do. It did seem a little strange that after all the attraction I felt towards Joshua, I just didn't feel it anymore. "I don't know. Thank you Joe, for the kind words" I say directing a smile his way. "And that doesn't make things with Austin any easier. I like him, I'm sure of it, I can't stop thinking about him. I don't feel like that for Joshua, I mean yeah I guess I find him attractive and such, but I don't have him on my mind all the time like I do..." Taylor's eyes look sad hearing me talk, I guess that for her it feels like looking at a young version of herself doing the same mistakes again. "I can't tell you how to go about it, (y/n). I haven't met Austin, maybe he is a nice guy, just because I've dated douchesbags, doesn't make every 30 year old, one." I can tell that she only half means what she's saying, but I can see she feels for me and understands, probably better than anyone. "Maybe give Joshua another shot? Best romances start with being friends first. You're still young and it's hard to distinguish between lust and love" Taylor says. "Plus dating is about finding what you like, sometimes it take a couple of tries to get it right, so there's no need for pressure of commitment." Joe adds, sharing a knowing look with Taylor. The two of them are so in love, it basically radiates off of them.

Giggling at their love sick affection, I wipe the rest of my tears away. "How about we get some food in our bellies?" Joe suggests clapping his hands and rubbing them together, before standing up. "Ok yeah, I'm kinda hungry." I admit, following them into their dining room, where the table has been beautifully set. The food smells amazing, making my mouth water. "This looks amazing as always." I compliment sitting down, ready to dive into the food. "Thank you, (y/n)!" Joe says, as he starts cutting up the turkey he cooked, placing in on each of our plates. "So any new songs?" I ask, eating some of the food, watching Taylor nod excitedly. "Yes, oh my god, I have a new one, but it's not done, I'll play it for you. I've really been loving this new concept, sleepless nights, you know, words just come to me so easily." She says, making me chuckle.

"Mmh don't I know it, I haven't been sleeping in a week, writing songs at 3 am has become a bad habit." I know for sure the dark circles under my eyes tell exactly that. Before this whole debacle with Austin and Joshua, the Met kept me up and now I'm back into that vicious cycle of sleeping 3 to 4 hours a night. "How many more songs do you need till the album is done?" Joe chimes in, directing the question my way. "I'd like to have like 15 songs? And well right now I have 12? Yeah, around that."

"Any features?" Taylor asks and I answer by shaking my head. "Not yet, but I've been writing this song "Past life" and I feel like a male feature would sound amazing on it, but we'll see" I say shrugging my shoulders.

The rest of dinner flying by quite quickly, filled with funny jokes and music. Before I leave Taylor plays me her latest song which she called "Mastermind". A song talking about how strategic women have to be in relationships, to get it right.

Saying my goodbyes to them, I hug them and head down, where Matt waits for me, to drive me back. I can't get Taylor's song out of my mind, I can definitely claim this will be my favorite off of the new album she's working on. I can't wait to record the background vocals for it. My phone buzzes pulling my out of my train of thought. Looking at it I smile at the name popping up on my screen and answer without a second thought.

"How was dinner?" Austin asks smiling brightly at me. "It was great, Joe cooked some great turkey, it was delicious." I say and make Austin laugh, showing him the doggy bag they gave me for home. "They even gave me extra" I say just in case me showing him the bag wasn't enough, which makes him laugh more. Matt opens my door, helping me out of the car and I mouth a low "thank you", before stepping into the elevator and waving at him. "Are you just now getting home?" Austin asks me. "Yeah" I sigh, sitting down on the elevator floor, my legs tired from all the standing and walking I did today. "Did you just sit on the elevator floor?" Austin questions, smiling from ear to ear and scrunching up his nose, making me mirror him. His happy energy rubbing off on me. "Maybe" I say biting my lip to stop myself from laughing.

Austin rolls around in his bed, rubbing his face into the pillows. "Ugh I had like a thousand interviews today, all the same fucking questions." I giggle at his frustration and get up walking into my apartment, heading straight for the kitchen, after I take off my shoes. "Been there done that, but I tell you it gets better once you get to do talk shows, especially if you do Fallon, Jimmy is the funniest ever." I say, as I put food for Simba and William, the two coming quickly to eat. "Yeah, I guess, it's still a bit too much." He says dragging a hand over his face, then he focuses his eyes back on the screen. "You look very pretty tonight by the way." Austin states making me blush, so I hide my face behind my hands. "Hey none of that, come on show me your beautiful eyes." Austin demands

I remove my hands from my face, blushing terribly as my breath is coming in short gasps. I hear my heart beating in my ears, feeling dizzy. He has to stop saying things like this, talking like this. I swallow thickly as he looks at me, deep blue eyes burning holes through me, making me feel like a small gem being watched through a glass window. His stare is so strong and soft at the same time. Austin licks his lips, biting them, making me wish I could feel how soft they were. "What are we doing?" I whisper, not expecting my thought to come out loud, surprising both me and him.

Austin's eyes are still locked on me, as he sits up on his bed, scratching his chest. His naked chest, he doesn't have a shirt on. "Talking?" He questions faking not knowing what I meant. He's either avoiding it as to not embarrass me or because just like me, he doesn't understand what this is. This delicate beginning rush, we feel when we talk to each other, when we see one another. "Why?" I ask, pushing further, even when every fiber in me, screams to stop, to let it go, to enjoy the rush of the moment. "I like talking to you" he says, blushing.

Blushing?! He's blushing? My heart picks up faster, feeling like it's about to fly out of my chest. I try to breathe deep and I clench my fists around the velvet fabric of my dress, making an effort to stop my body from trembling. "It's late, you should get to sleep, night my darling!" Austin says and I'm left with my mouth agape, not getting a chance to answer before he ends the call.

"My darling" he called me that again. I can understand one time being a little mistake, but a second time? He's toying with me, he must be. And I wish I could say that all the things people around me have been saying didn't get to me, but they did. Everything I've been hearing ever since meeting Austin, is to be cautious and smart, to not let myself fall, but I'm afraid I already fell. And now I feel this fear building inside me, fear of getting hurt. I'm not stupid, I understand how he's too old and I'm too young, but the fact that so far this and his fake girlfriend, have been the only reasons keeping me from crushing on him, tells how little I know him.

Stepping into the bathroom, undressing, I turn on the shower, looking at myself in the mirror. You can read, the amount of sleep I've been losing, on my face. Closing my eyes I see flashes of him, his smile and his eyes, I even hear his laugh ringing in my ears. I'm going crazy.

Breathing in, I let the boiling water soak me from head to toe, wishing for it to relax my petrified muscles, but to no avail, I'm too tense. Giving up on trying to relax, I get out, drying myself quickly and putting on pajamas, going straight to the piano. I'm tired but I don't feel sleep crawling up on me, so the best thing to do is sit down at the piano and play until hopefully I can sleep.

Thinking back to Taylor's song, I play it over and over again, until it's 3:15 am and I'm still at the piano, pushing the keys with my now, numb fingers. Picking up my phone I open the camera and rest it on the piano, to film myself. I look like a mess, with hooded eyes and tangled damp hair. "Hi Taylor, um I've been thinking, since I left, I loved the song and the concept of it, you know. Um and I just was thinking, there's a starting point to everything, so why is this girl in our narrative so strategic? Something happened right? In the past." I put some of my hair behind my ears, playing the piano softly. "So I asked myself, what started my overthinking and over analyzing? So I kinda wrote a verse?" I wince a bit at myself, this is the second time I highjack one of her songs. "So here it goes, I'm sorry in advance"

I keep playing and then start singing.

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless

This is the first time I've felt the need to confess

And I swear

I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian

'Cause I care

So I told you none of it was accidental

And the first night that you saw me

Nothing was gonna stop me

I laid the groundwork, and then

Saw a wide smirk on your face

You knew the entire time

You knew that I'm a mastermind

And now you're mine

Yeah, all you did was smile

'Cause I'm a mastermind"

I finish playing and take the phone in hand, bringing the camera close to my face, giving the worst possible angle of myself. "Ok that's it, anyway, tell me what you think, sorry for bothering you and for pushing myself on this, you don't have to like it or add it or anything. Um anyway it's like 3:30 am so I should sleep, talk soon" I end the video and send it to her, knowing she's see it in the morning.

After that I run up to my room and jump on my fluffy bed, praying to get some sleep, before my 8 am alarm starts ringing. As my body sinks into the soft bed, my thoughts go blank for the first time in so long and I find sleep takes over me, dreamless resting sleep. Rare, but so sweet.

When my phone rings at 8 am I'm too tired to wake up just yet, so I shoot a quick text to Levis telling him that I'm sleeping in today. I put my phone on silent and get back to sleep, but it's not the same dreamless sleep as before.

I'm in my living room and it's dark, soft music playing in the background, music I quickly recognize as being my song - Dandelions. Everything is a bit blurry and in slow motion. Then out of the dark a figure makes it's way over to me. The musky, citrusy smell lighting my senses on fire as Austin circles his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. "You wished on a dandelion for me, well here I am darling. My darling." His lips brush my cheek, his hot breath fanning over my skin, raising goosebumps everywhere. I tremble in his embrace and try to move my head to get a good look at him, but my eyes can't focus, it's weird and I feel the anxiety creeping up on me as I try to see him, but everything is hazy. "Austin" I say, but it's like my voice is coming from under water, muffled and weak. "My darling" it's all he says, tightening his arms around my waist, making my knees go weak as I melt into him. "My Austin" I say giving in. "My darling" he repeats, like it's the only thing he knows.

Suddenly I'm woken up by something jumping up on my chest. Sitting up quickly, I cause William to fall rolling on the bed. I grab the kitty and bring him close to my chest, whispering little apologies. I try to come back to the real world, but I can still feel Austin's breath on my skin. I need to find a way to shake him off, this is getting out of hand. Taking my phone from the night stand, I ignore all notifications and open the message app, texting Joshua.

Me:

Want 2 come over 4 dinner? @ my place?

🎶Joshua🎶:

Yeah, text me the address. What time should I be there?

Me:

6 pm, sound good?

🎶Joshua🎶:

C u at 6pm

Me:

Can't wait 💟

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