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ficcidio · 9 months

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YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

pairing: fiancé!hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: comfort, fluff, a little suggestive in the end

warnings: insecurities, problems with food & feeling guilty after, swear words

a/n: hii, i’ve never written abt hyunjin so i hope i did well! i’m sorry i didn’t post in so long i’ve just been struggling a lot lately and i couldn’t find the energy + this was written at 1 am sorry if smth doesn’t make sense (not proofread yet) 😭 also please read the note at the end, it’s very important

ᯤ now playing: young and beautiful by lana del rey

— 시작

your body started panicking as you felt everyone’s eyes on you. you looked around the room, trying to figure out the reason. was it your makeup? or did you eat too much? your dress probably looked horrible on you too. it was all of them, maybe. you started to walk, looking for you fiancé, hyunjin, who was nowhere to be found. he had left you alone in the middle of the party with all those unknown people.

as you moved you heard a group of people calling your name “y/n! come here” “y/n, come talk with us” “y/n!” “y/n!” you tried to escape but suddenly one of your old friends caught your wrist and made you approve her and her husband.

“wow, you look really different” she said “did you gain weight?” she asked as if that wouldn’t hurt you “yeah, i guess…” you whispered trying not to cry. it was the third time they said this to you tonight and you were started to get anxious. why did they only look at your body? why couldn’t they talk about your success?

“oh, that’s good too eh! i didn’t mean it in a bad way” she tried to fix it, but you were already overthinking. you didn’t want her to pity you. “look, i really have to go, it was nice to see you, bye” you answered quickly as you ran away, trying to look for hyunjin.

when you finally found him, you sighed in relieve and ran to him. thank god he was alone, you wouldn’t be able to bear with any other comment about you. as you ran, he looked at you, confused by your worried eyes and desperate speed to get to him. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked gently, trying to calm you down. he knew something was off as soon as he saw you. “let’s go home” you whispered as you clung onto him.

“why?” he waited for an answer but it didn’t come. you didn’t want to explain yet, because you knew if you talked, your eyes would fill up with tears and you’d start to cry desperately. “let’s just go, please, hyunjin” your cracked voice told him everything he needed to go home. that’s when he decided to say goodbye to some people near him and he ran with you to the car. he quickly started driving without any words.

you felt bad because you knew he was really excited to come to this party, and you made him go home for a stupid reason. it had been 10 minutes in the car and you were still far from home. the way he didn’t say a word made you feel terrible, was he angry? did he really get mad at you? it wasn’t your fault. or was it? did you exaggerate it too much?

“i’m sorry i ruined your night” you whispered, trying to stop yourself from breaking down in front of him.

“ruin my night?” he asked gently, which surprised you “yeah-“ you tried to continue “you didn’t ruin my night, if you’re uncomfortable then i have to take care of you, and you didn’t seem very happy. it was getting boring, anyway.” he stated as be continued to drive. a single read fell down your cheek but you wiped it as soon as you noticed it. you couldn’t let him see you in that state. “thank you…”

you spent the rest of the drive home silent, and when you got to your place you ran to your bedroom as fast as you could, leaving him confused in the entrance, though he followed you seconds later. when you got to you room you almost immediately broke down, falling on the bed and letting your tears fall continuously without thinking that your boyfriend may hear you. you really didn’t want him to know, really, but you couldn’t help being loud while remembering all those things everyone said to you hours before. after all you went through, every meal you didn’t eat, every tear, every time you yelled at someone because they wanted you to eat, every time you fainted, all that for nothing at all? you suffered so much, you really thought you got better but they made it look as it was nothing with all the anger and sadness you felt with their comments.

you felt his hands grab your waist and try to turn you around for you to look at him, but you refused to let him see your red eyes. “baby, please talk to me” he said gently while he rubbed your back. you finally acceded, but you hid your face on the crook of his neck. “love…” he started, but he didn’t get to finish the sentence because you cut him off “why do they always have to comment on my body as if i don’t see myself in the mirror every fucking day” he separated you from his body so he could look at you. your eyes connected and his showed his worry and care.

“what did they say?” he asked as he brought to back into his chest. you didn’t answer, letting your sobs be heard “y/n, what did they say?” he questioned again, while he patted your hair “they said i looked worse, they said i gained weight…” you whispered with embarrassment “everyone’s eyes were on me, hyunjin, everyone was staring at how bad i looked” he was about to let his jaw fall to the floor but he stopped himself as it wasn’t what you needed right now. he was so shocked, because in his eyes you were more than beautiful. how could someone think that dress looked bad on you? god, he almost died when he saw you in that gorgeous black dress.

“bad? you looked stunning, y/n” he answered, speechless at how you talked about yourself “you’re saying that because–“ he cut you off as you did before “i’m saying that because that’s how it is, i’d say that if we were friends, strangers or even enemies, because you looked like a work of art. you always do.” he answered sweetly. your sobs where barely audible now as you has calmed yourself hearing his voice. now all that was left was your breathing. you looked at him with a smile, still with puffy eyes and hugged him again. “thank you…” you muttered “it’s fine, darling, you don’t have to thank me” hyunjin promised

“i was scared i would have to go through everything again” you justified yourself, but it wasn’t necessary now. “shh, you won’t, not as long as i’m here. don’t ever say that about yourself again, mhm, beautiful?” he kissed your forehead and continued “god, i don’t know how anyone could ever think that way about you, i almost couldn’t control myself when i saw you” he said, making you blush and you hit him lightly “shut up, dumbass” you said, still hiccuping from the intense crying but laughing, and he did the same.

he put you into the bed an caressed your hair until you felt tired and wanted to sleep. you had wasted too much energy already, you felt so exhausted. “princess, if someone every says anything like that to you again, tell me and i’ll make sure they never say that again” he whispered.

“i love you”

…

“i love you more.

—

A/N: hello so, i wanted to talk about the struggles with food as someone who’s had an eating disorder for six years. if any of you struggles with food, please look for help. remember that food helps us, without food we’d be dead. you need to eat, it’s necessary. please don’t give a fuck about other peoples opinion, because they don’t know the real you, and they don’t know what’s really going on. to stop eating is bad in so many ways, your health will worsen, you as a person will change and you will lose people. i’m talking from experience, with my ed i lost a lot of friends, i fought with everyone and i was always in a bad mood.

throughout my life i have been judged by everyone because of my body and valued without thinking about my personality, my intelligence or my maturity. some people only care about your looks, that’s true, but you mustn’t be embarrassed for the body you have, because good people will know you’re worth much more than just what they see. you’re not your body, you’re your favorite song, your favorite film, that melody you sing in your head when you’re bored, you’re that quote in a book you once read and never forgot of. you’re that time you helped someone who needed it, that sunrise you once saw, your favorite clothes. you’re your favorite flavor, your favorite season, your favorite singer, your favorite color. you are what you like, not how you look like. so please, eat what you crave and don’t restrict any foods. i love you for who you are. and if you’re struggling, my dm’s are always open, don’t be scared to ask for help. i love you, unconditionally.

#skz #straykids #ficcidio #stray kids #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #kpop #skz fluff #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #stray kids x reader

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multi-fandomfuckboy · 1 year

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Stranger Than Fiction

Part 18: Friends

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Slowburn)

Part 1, ... (Masterlist)... Part 19, Part 20 (Coming Soon)...

AN: I'm back! With and update on Halloween no less! I hope you guys like this one! Let me know what you guys think! Happy Halloween 🎃 💀👻

Word Count: 2,747

Warnings: Swearing, blood, pain, violence

You grunt with effort under Billy’s arm as you try to lead him to the car.

“You are a lot heavier than you look.” you groan, attempting to keep him upright as you walk down the stairs.

“Are you calling me fat?” He asks, looking down at you, through half-lidded eyes. You chuckle dryly.

“I’m definitely not calling you skinny.” You shoot back, causing Billy to smirk down at you.

“It’s all muscle, sweetheart.” he purrs. You roll your eyes, doing your best to keep one arm around him and open the passenger door at the same time. Being this close to him, his scent invades your nostrils. His cologne is overpowering, mixed with the coppery smell of blood.

You feel the muscles in his abdomen shift under your palm as your other hand pulls open the door. You move to position him in the car but he manages to catch himself on the frame, stopping himself from falling into the seat. He tries to level his eyes on you but they are still unfocused from the drugs in his system.

“Why are you taking me with you?” He asks. You shake your head, resisting the urge to snap at him. Time is of the essence. Sighing, you respond evenly.

“Because it’s too dangerous to leave you here alone when you can barely stand up.” you explain. Billy quirks an eyebrow.

“Dangerous?” He questions. You roll your eyes, growing more anxious by the second.

“That’s what I said. Now get in.” you demand, giving him a light shove into the passenger seat. He falls backwards, sprawling across the seat. He mumbles something as he struggles to get fully seated in the car. You close the door after him and quickly rush to the driver side. Hopping in, you fasten your seatbelt and throw the car in reverse. Billy curses as you whip out of the driveway, the force sending him flying into the door.

“Jesus Christ!” He exclaims, bracing his arms on either side of him as you speed down the dirt road. “No wonder you walk everywhere!” He yells. Ignoring him, you focus on the road.

“Buckle your seat belt.” You instruct flatly. Billy scoffs. But, with a small sense of satisfaction, you hear his seatbelt click into place.

After a few minutes of silence, you hear Billy shift next to you. Glancing over to him, you see his eyes trained on you in the dim light of the car. His gaze is intense and when your eyes lock with his for a moment, it makes your heart jump. Looking away, you clear your throat.

“Where are we going?” Billy asks, breaking the silence. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens at the thought of the danger you are racing towards.

“Merrill's farm.” You say, keeping your eyes on the road.

“The pumpkin patch?” He asks, confused.

“Yes.” You confirm. You can still feel his eyes on you in the darkness, but refuse to look at him.

“You look terrible.” He comments flatly. You laugh, but it sounds more like a harsh bark.

“God! You’re such a charmer!” You respond sarcastically. “Is everything that comes out of your mouth an insult?” You ask.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Billy cuts you off. “I just meant… you look exhausted.” he explains half-heartedly. You pause a beat, taking in his words. You know that you must look like a mess, covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, you haven't slept in days, too worried about staying alive to think about anything else. You sigh, Billy sounds genuine.

“I’m sorry…” you apologise. “It’s-It’s been a long couple of days.” you say, softening your tone. There is another pause of silence and you think you hear Billy mumble something.

“What was that?” You ask, glancing at him. There is no response as Billy’s head rolls back against the seat, his eyes closed. His face is so relaxed, he looked so much younger this way, you think to yourself before looking back to the road. You can’t be sure, but his mumble sounded a lot like ‘I’m sorry’...

In the silence your mind turns back to Steve and the kids. You chew on the inside of your cheek as you press harder on the gas, hoping you arrive before they do anything too dangerous.

Your stomach twists in knots as you approach the farm. Turning into the field you can see the taillights of Billy’s camaro. Drawing closer you can see the large hole Hopper had dug to reach the tunnels. Stomping on the brakes, the car skids to a halt next to the idling camaro. The jolt throws Billy forward, waking him up.

“Where are we?” He grumbles, half-awake. You look around, searching for any sign of the kids. There is nothing. Swallowing your fear you hop out of the car. It is hard to see, the only light coming from the car headlights.

“Steve?!” You yell into the darkness, looking around. There is no response. Walking closer to the hole you look over the edge, your stomach drops at the sight of a single rope trailing from the camaro down into the crevice.

“What’s going on?” you hear Billy ask drowsily from the car. Rushing back over to the car you get in, turning to Billy.

“Billy, listen to me.” you instruct, grabbing him by the collar to get him to focus on you. “This is very important. I need you to stay in the car. If anything happens, I need you to run and find either Joyce Byers or Jim Hopper.” you instruct. You know that he most likely won't remember what you are telling him but there is no way you can take him with you. His brows draw together as he tries to comprehend your words.

“What? No, I’m coming with you.” He says, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. You grit your teeth, shaking your head.

“This isn’t a joke Billy.” You say firmly. His eyes scan your face and he must see something there, either that or he can feel your hands shaking against his collar, because he nods in understanding.

“Good.” you say, letting go of his shirt. Stepping out of the car again, you reach for your pistol, your heart skips a beat. It’s not there. Suddenly you remember dropping it on the floor when you saw Billy. You curse yourself for not realising you had left it sooner. Rushing to the trunk you open it, searching for anything that could be used as a weapon. Your hands finally feel the cold metal of the tire iron.

It will have to do.

“Fuck.” you curse, feeling the heavy metal in your palm, you grasp it firmly, turning to the hole.

Rushing back to the opening in the earth you slide down the slope. You hear yelling in the distance, and as you peer into the dark hole you see a flash of light. In all of the commotion you can make out Steve’s deep voice yelling at the kids to run.

“Steve!” You yell, seeing the group come into view below you. You are relieved to see them but their panicked screams quickly chase the feeling away.

“They’re coming! Quickly! Pull them up!” Steve yells. You need no further explanation. Grabbing Max’s arms as Steve lifts her up. You pull her the rest of the way out of the hole before grabbing Lucas and then Mike.

As Steve is about to hoist Dustin up a thunderous roar sounds from within the tunnel. You can feel the earth shake under your feet as the swarm of monsters rip through the tunnels under the ground. Your eye’s lock with Steve’s, through his goggles and bandana, you share the same thought. You’re too late. Not fast enough. He looks away and your heart stops.

Steve grabs his bat, turning towards the oncoming monsters, squaring his shoulders. He pushes Dustin behind him, adjusting his grip on the weapon.

Without thinking, without hesitation, you grab the tire iron and jump down into the hole.

“What are you doing?!” Steve yells.

“I’m not losing anymore friends!” You yell back, gripping the iron with both hands. There is no time for Steve to argue, or say anything, because you can see the demodogs rounding the corner. They are running full speed towards you. Every muscle in your body tenses as you raise your weapon, blood rushing in your ears, the only comfort you have is knowing Steve is fighting next to you.

Your breathing hitches as the first monster is upon you. But, to your surprise, instead of attacking it rushes by. So does the next, and the next, and the next. You stumble back as the dogs barrel past your legs. One of Steve’s arms wraps around you from behind, pulling you back against his chest. You reach out and grab Dustin, pulling him close to the two of you. The three of you watch the horde run directly past you and down the next tunnel without even a pause. Your heart thumps in your chest so hard that you’re sure Steve can feel it though your back pressed against him. When the last one runs by, you take a couple of gasping breaths, you must have been holding your breath the whole time.

“What was that?” Steve asks from behind you, his grip loosening slightly, as the sound of the dogs dissipates. There can only be one thing drawing them in, a bigger threat… Eleven.

“Whatever it was, let’s get the hell out of here!” Dustin screams, grabbing desperately at your arm. You and Steve lift Dustin up so his friends can grab him and help him the rest of the way out.

Now just the two of you, Steve extends his hand, bowing slightly.

“After you.” He offers, out of breath.

“And they say chivalry is dead.” you comment dryly, taking his hand. You aren't sure with the majority of his face covered, but you think he smiles slightly. You step on his knee and then up to his shoulder. You’re able to reach the surface and with the many grasping hands of the kids manage to scramble out of the hole. Steve climbs up the rope but when he is within arms distance you grab him, helping him the rest of the way out. Panting for breath you all scale the slope to solid ground.

Looking around at the group you frantically rush to each of them, making sure they are okay.

“Are you okay?... Any broken bones?... Bleeding anywhere?...” You rattle off, searching over each of them.

“We’re fine.” Dustin chides, pushing away your hands.

“Oh thank god.” You exhale a sigh of relief, pulling him into a tight hug despite his protests. “I almost had a heart attack!” You exclaim. Catching sight of Steve, you release Dustin. Suddenly, you remember that he was in charge of keeping them safe.

“Steve!” You yell, causing him to jump. Stomping over, you jab a finger in his chest. “What the hell were you thinking?!” You yell, Steve’s eyes widen behind his goggles and he holds up his hands in surrender.

“I-” he tries, but you cut him off, all of the fear and panic spilling out.

“You could have died! They could have died! Or you could have gotten lost! How could you think this was a good idea!?” You grab the front of his shirt, shaking him roughly. Your voice sounds borderline hysterical, tears flooding your vision. You don’t know if they are from anger or relief or some strange combination.

The kids rush over, all trying to explain what happened at once. You look around at all of them, bewildered as they all scream that it wasn’t his fault. Steve pulls his bandana and goggles off, revealing his face. When you look back at him, your eyes widen at the sight of his mangled features.

“Holy shit.” you gasp, letting go of his shirt and tentatively poking at his bruised face. He winces, grabbing your hand. “What… happened?” you ask, looking over his face. Steve shakes his head, his tongue licking over his split lip.

“Turns out babysitting is a lot harder than I thought.” He grumbles. You process his words and to everyone's surprise a strangled laugh shakes your shoulders, mixed with a sob. Without another word you step forward, flinging your arms around him. You ignore his grunt of discomfort and squeeze him tightly. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close, burying his face in your tangled hair. After a moment Steve pulls away.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks.

“Sure.” You say wiping at your eyes.

“Are we friends?” he asks. You look at his face, and he seems completely serious.

“What?” You ask bewildered.

“When you jumped down you said you weren’t going to lose anymore friends. So I was wondering-”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” You ask harshly, shoving him away slightly. Steve gapes for a moment and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I didn’t know if you were only hanging out with me because of nancy or…”

“Shut up.” you grumble, pulling him into another tight hug. He returns it immediately.

“What the hell is he doing here?!” Dustin yells. Pulling away from Steve, you keep one arm around him as you turn to see Dustin pointing at Billy. Who, despite your instructions, had stepped out of the car and was now leaning heavily on it to keep upright.

“I found him at the house.” you explain. “He was the only one there so I thought I should bring him along.” you go on.

“He’s a psycho!” Lucas yells, coming to stand next to you.

“He almost killed Steve!” Mike adds, stepping in front of you. Looking over to Steve, you feel him tense. Pieces start to fall into place as you look between Steve’s swollen face and Billy’s bloodied knuckles.

Then it clicks. Billy must have shown up looking for Max and found her in a house full of boys and Steve. Things must have gotten physical, leading to a fight between Steve and Billy where Steve ended up getting the crap beat out of him and Billy wound up drugged.

“He had it coming!” Billy yells from where he leans on the car, looking like he might fall over any second.

The comment has the rest of the group up in arms. The kids circle around you, everyone yelling, trying to tell you what actually happened. You take a step forward, going to attempt to calm things down but as you move the sound of the kids yelling fades. A high pitched ringing fills your ears. You see their mouths moving but all you hear is the ringing. Looking at Steve you see his eyes on you, and his mouth moves in a question.

‘You okay?’

The world starts to spin, the lights of the headlights growing brighter and brighter. You move to take a step but it feels like the ground has fallen out from under your feet. You tumble forward, falling into blackness.

It’s dark, and cold. Familiar. You have been here many times. This comforting, chilling, numbness. You feel the shadows fluttering around you, grazing against your skin like millions of feathers.

Then you hear something, a voice. It’s hard to make out what it’s saying but you want to follow it. You try to pull yourself from the shadows, but the feather light touches suddenly constrict. You try again, only for the shadows to tighten around you. You feel them twisting around your arms and legs, snaking up your chest, the harder you pull the tighter they squeeze. You can feel the scream bubbling in your chest, but the shadows choke the air out of you making it hard to breathe.

“Wake up.” a voice commands.

Opening your eyes all you can see is red. But, as you focus you see something though the red film. A girl. Eleven. You feel panic grip you as you watch her extend both hands. Her mouth opens in a scream, blood dripping from her nose as her powers surge forward. You blink and she’s gone. Instead of being back in the cold darkness it feels like youve been engulfed in flames. It consumes you.

You hear yourself screaming, and can feel yourself thrashing against the arms that hold you. It’s in your head, you can feel it. It’s scared.

Then…it’s gone.

Part 1, ... (Masterlist)... Part 19, Part 20 (Coming Soon)...

AN: I hope you guys liked it! Also I have the next chapter written, I just need to type it. Quick question: Do you guys want to know the story behind Billy's comment "Just like last time." in Part 17? I have a little story for it if you guys are interested but I can easily leave it out. Let me know what you guys think!! Leave a like of a comment!

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thelaughtercafe · 2 months

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Soul Eater Ler Headcanons

Tea Type: Brown Sugar Boba

Potential Triggers: N/A

Pairing: Soul/F! Reader, Death the Kid/F! Reader, Black Star/F! Reader, Maka/F! Reader. Tsubaki/F! Reader, Liz/F! Reader, Patty/F! Reader, Stein/F! Reader

Length: 1.5k+

Summary: N/A

Soul Eater Evans:

Soul is very casual most of the time and I feel like tickling someone to pieces wouldn’t be any different.

Like Maka, takes it in complete stride which his Lee likely wouldn’t expect if they’d hidden it from him out of fear for any length of time.

He finds this hysterical and incredibly endearing at the same time, leading to him laughing at you good-naturedly.

“Damn, you went that long without something you wanted out of some misguided sense of feeling weird? You could’ve just told me, ya know. I tickle Blackstar and Maka all the time, Hell you’ve seen me do it. You had to know I wouldn’t mind.”

When you fumbled to explain it was different he sighed and rubbed his head.

“Man, you’re hopeless. Least now I know why you ran away all those times. Must’ve been really embarrassing for you, huh?”

He grinned, wiggling his fingers at you eagerly as he cornered you.

“Welp, guess all we can do is make up for lost time huh? C'mere so I can help you experience what you’ve wanted so bad first hand!”

He’s not a chaser, prefers for you and him to be more stationary.

Admittedly gets a kick at seeing you try to hold your arms up or not struggle too much, even though a cool guy like him could totally overpower you.

Reassures you in his own way too, bringing it up casually after wrecking you after you both had a stressful test that day.

“Y'know, the others won’t mind tickling you either. Even on the fraction of a chance they’re not willing to- they wouldn’t make fun of you for it. Even if they did, they’d have me to deal with!”

He flashed a shark-toothed grin your way.

“You like being tickled. So what? C'mon, say it. I know you can!”

Messes with you for a few days and sessions until you finally spit the words out.

He doesn’t tickle you directly till you get it out- only giving a quick poke or huff of air along your neck or ears to make you jump, around the others that prick-until you crack.

He’s kind’ve mean about it, honestly, but he does it to help you not hide who you are from the others. It’s all out of love in the end.

Rubs it in your face so hard when he ends up right. Doesn’t let you live it down ever.

Expect group tickle sessions for a while too just to be extra sure you got the message it’s not a big deal.

Maka Albarn:

Maka is really intuned with everyone around her and that translates to when she Ler’s too.

She senses the little things- the way someone leans into her touch when they like a spot.

She’s kind too- not the type to call you out and tease you for it like Soul or Stein, and if she does it’s playful and she’ll immediately admit she liked it just as much as you.

She loves to make others happy, and this is no exception. She views it as perfectly natural and normal and just about Maka-Chop’s you anytime you put yourself down.

You learn to accept your little quirk with her and the rest of your friends help.

Black Star:

God Blackstar is a rough one.

Good luck, the second he finds out you’re ticklish I hope you like it because he’s gonna use it to mess with you constantly.

Getting out of things, making you forgive him for small mistakes, you name it he’ll implement tickling somehow if it fits.

And when Tsubaki finally spells it out for him that you like it?

Even training isn’t safe then and he is merciless in that environment when he’s focused so trust- you both do and don’t wanna be caught by him.

He’s loud when he teases so you have to be direct and tell him not in public, and remind him if it bothers you fairly often otherwise the whole damn school is gonna know.

Speaking of teasing, KING of teases.

I’m blushing just thinking about it.

“Wow, is this really all you can handle? I know it’s a tall order because you’re up against a big star like me, but I’ll have to help you build up your stamina and endurance.”

“You’re lucky there’s no Kishin who tickle their victims; otherwise you’d be a goner for sure! Luckily you have the great Blackstar to help you as a failsafe precaution! Aren’t you lucky?”

300% uses his Ninja skills to fuck with you.

Sorry I don’t make the rules.

You called his bluff when he was just starting out and assumed he was loud and obnoxious with no other mode and boy did that backfire on you horribly.

After finding out you like being tickled, guess who now has a way to show you just how well he can sneak up on people whenever and wherever he wants?

Uses tickles as a reward/motivation too, to keep you training with him just that little bit longer than you usually would.

Tsubaki:

Gosh she’s so flustering as a Ler without even trying.

It’s because she’s so sincere and gentle.

It makes her amusement and sweet teases all the more effective.

“Aww you’re so precious like this! I’ve gotta do this more often!”

She’s one of the easiest Lers to go to, especially if you want relaxing tickles.

She’s so gentle technique wise, really only using spidering and stroking but it still tickles like Hell.

The only one who can reign Blackstar in with either tickling him or just talking sense.

Death the Kid:

Kid is generally very put together and that translates to when he lers.

Of course, he has to tickle symmetrically which means his poor Lee will have to put up with either both his hands or two tools at once.

The only good thing is that means you know the sensations are predictable.

Unless he has Liz and Patty help. Then? Then they’re really in trouble, because they’ll do the same, but as long as they keep the same technique? Kid’s fine letting them have variety from him. Predictability neutralized.

Unintentionally so flustering, holy shit.

Kid is naturally very logical and serious, and has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. That man’s smirk is lethal.

Absolutely uses this to his advantage. After all, he has to make both of your cheeks the same pretty shade of red, and what better way to do that then make it cover your whole face~?

“Oh come now, surely it can’t tickle that badly? You’re flattering me.”

Can’t stop at an uneven time- works together with his Lee to get to 88 minutes for perfect symmetry.

He’ll stop before that if needed of course, but it’s typically best when the numbers match.

Patty:

Brings out of her Lee’s childish natures with her own.

Tends to giggle happily along with her Lee and is one of the Lers most often to start tickle fights and the like.

Adores how much fun it is to make her friends, family and s/o’s laugh omg.

It’s why she does it so often.

Most think she’s not smart but really, she’s quite aware. She just chooses to embrace her more childish side openly.

Loves to tease her Lee’s and pouts when she has to stop or gets pulled away by Liz.

“Aww but why? They’re so cute like this!!”

“Yes Patty but you kind of need them alive to tickle them more yeah? Let ‘em breathe, k?”

She salutes her sister all cute-like.

“K!!”

Switches spots often and has to get reminded by Kid to be more symmetrical if they’re Ler'ing someone together because she forgets a lot and it always makes her Lee jump in their grip.

Liz:

Queen of self-care/self-comfort tickles, for both her Lee and herself.

Compliments galore she’s so damn nice.

“Your laugh is so pretty, I swear. I’m so jealous!”

“Oh my God your nails are so cute!! You have to paint them for me later! Maybe if you agree to I’ll stop~”

Her teases are like that, mixed with her genuine compliments.

The most merciful between her sister and Kid.

Kid tends to get lost in the symmetry while tickling his Lee so if she’s helping or knows he’s gonna be Ler'ing someone she always reminds him to set an alarm so the poor Lee isn’t stuck there for 3 hours.

Definitely hasn’t happened more than once, nope.

Not that the Lee was complaining-

Absolutely loves using her nails as a tickle tool. It’s her go-to method and she is good.

Stein:

Unsurprisingly, the scientist who loves to experiment, also does so when tickling. It’s just his nature.

In addition to that he’s perceptive as Hell so good luck hiding your reactions.

In all likelihood, he knows instinctively if a Lee enjoys it thanks to seeing their Soul and being able to sense their nature better than most.

Let’s face it; Stein’s a complete sadist- and not only that- he’s very open about that fact.

Which means if it gets to you that he’s like that he’ll absolutely call you out and mess with you with it, switching between his typically playful and analytical self and his more cruel side.

Knows every tool out there, and relishes testing more unconventional ones too like back scratchers, combs and the like.

That goes for enhancement methods too. Everything from oil, sensory deprivation, and bondage. Whatever he can think of, really.

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thousandfourhundreddays · 3 months

Note

van mccann x singer reader pls!

Masterlist

A/n I can only apologise for my severe issue with making promises I can’t keep ahahah. I don’t even know how long ago it was that I said I would write some stuff for Van and so many of you guys’ requests have been neglected in my inbox… BUT I had a couple of Van x singer reader requests so here it is, however I didn’t stick to that completely but I kinda love this so hope you enjoy anyway!!! Also kinda based on Hourglass because I lack all kinds of creativity lol. LOVE YA❤️‍🔥

Waste My Days

“You’re strugglin’” his voice floated down the line, worry seeping into his words. You sighed into the silence of your hotel room, rolling over in bed, eyes flicking across the room to see the time on the clock. 2:36 am.

“I’m ok… it’s just been none stop for so long. I’m exhausted but I just can’t get any rest” Van waited, giving you time to talk, knowing this could be the most insight into your mind he’d been able to get for a long time.

“I love being on tour, I really do. Especially this one, this has been the best yet, I’m just…”

“Exhausted” he finished for you, sensing that you were struggling to find the words.

“You know it”

Boy, did he know it.

“How did you sleep?”

“God, I slept so good, the best I’ve slept in weeks Van, I’m telling you”

You heard his chuckle crackle down the line. “Dreaming about me again ay, babe?”

“Always”

“Y/n! Your phones ringing!”

Your head shot up, following the sound of the voice that shouted across the floor of the arena. Eyes wide, you sent a look to the sound technician, a silent plea to let you have just one minute. Once you saw him nod, mixed with a slightly annoyed shrug of his shoulders, you jumped down from the stage to find your phone.

“Van?”

“Hiya, darlin’. Was about to give up then, thought you weren’t gonna answer”

“Sorry, soundcheck.” You explained, listening to him drag on a fag in some city far away.

“Aye, me too, just finished. Sorry I interrupted”

“You’re never interrupting” you replied quickly, “I’ve been dying for you to call.”

You felt the peel of skin as Van lifted himself off of you, a rush of oxygen filling your lungs as he flopped down next to you into the damp sheets.

One week, one singular week where your tour schedules aligned. Van came to stay at yours, with no other plans than to eat, sleep and in Vans words, “love on you”.

You watched as Van reached over to the bedside table for his cigs, you couldn’t help but reach out to him, your finger tracing the shape of his ribs through his pale skin before you heard a clatter of books fall to the floor in Vans attempt to clear a space for the mug that now doubled as an ash tray.

“Oi, don’t be messing my place up!” You poked at the space between his ribs.

“Oi!” He squeaked in that classic Van McCann squeak, flinching, trying to escape your hands, holding the now burning cigarette high above your heads as he tackled you.

“Van, watch that!” Grasping his arm, already picturing the holes that he would burn in the sheets.

aka, the best week of wasting days together.

“Vaaaan” you sung down the line, “please hurry!!!!!”

“Alright, babe, alright. I’m coming!” He laughed,

“I know but we have a lot of catching up to do, you know” he could practically hear your smirk through the phone.

“Oh babe, so sordid” He teased, lowering his voice into a growl so the whole of Tesco’s wouldn’t hear him. “You’re the one who wanted wine!”

“All I really ever want is you, Van”

“Babe! Come ere’!”

Vans voice echoed through your bedroom over the sound of the shower.

Pushing on the en suite door, the bathroom flooded with light, revealing his face peeping round the edge of the fogged shower screen, hair wet and silently reaching an arm out for you. You smiled, keeping eye contact as you pulled his old tshirt over your head, quickly loosing your underwear and letting him pull you towards him.

Van twirled you round, pressing your back against his chest, arms tangled together across the front of your body under the water.

“I’ve been thinkin bout baby names” he whispered ,

“Oh yeah?” You laughed, classic Van you thought, “A bit premature, no? I’m not even pregnant”

Van moved to rest his cheek on the top of your head, pressing a kiss to your hair before untangling his arm from yours, watching as he reached out to write on the glass.

L, Y, L, A

“Like the Oasis song” he whispered.

#van mccann fanfic #van mccann smut #van mccann x reader #van mccann imagine #van mccann #catfish and the bottlemen #catfish and the bottlemen imagine

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twh-news · 7 months

Text

‘Loki’: Tom Hiddleston on Finding The God of Mischief’s New Family with the TVA

"Maybe there’s more burden and less glory in the purpose this time.”

In the first episode of Season 1 of Marvel Studio’s Loki, Tom Hiddleston’s mischievous scamp is plucked from the Sacred Timeline, brought before a judge at the Time Variance Authority, sentenced to be pruned for his actions, and only saved at the last second by curious TVA Agent Mobius who needs Loki’s help. Loki, being Loki, is less than thrilled about everything going on and in true Loki fashion snarls, “I’m going to burn this place to the ground.”

Fast forward a little bit — one trip to the Void and the end of time later — and Loki’s singing a different tune. He no longer wants to burn the Time Variance Authority and everyone inside its walls to the ground; now he’s trying to save it.

Season 1 ends with Loki arriving back at the TVA but things look much, much different than when he left them. After some painful Time Slipping back and forth, Loki realizes that he’s being transported through the past, present, and future of the TVA…but that’s still not the biggest headache on his hands. Thanks to Sylvie killing He Who Remains, no one is regulating the timelines, let alone the Temporal Loom which is overloaded and very close to bursting. Loki, now more than ever, is under a time crunch to figure out what is happening and stop it before any more catastrophic events take place.

“The stakes are higher, the clock is running down, and reality is going to be destroyed including everyone in it and everyone he loves, so Loki is propelled by this momentum and this urgency to try to put the brakes on the dissolution and destruction of reality,” returning star Tom Hiddleston explains. Not only is he trying to save the timelines, but more importantly, he’s trying to save his newfound family — Mobius, Hunter B-15, Casey, and everyone else at the TVA.

“Loki always struggled with family in the MCU, but he’s found a new family in the TVA,” Hiddleston continues. “In the breakdown of understanding himself and having his sense of self opened up, broken down, and rebuilt by Mobius and his colleagues at the TVA, there’s a new awareness and a capacity to connect with other people.”

It’s a big 180° shift, considering Loki first walked the TVA halls threatening destruction, and now his only goal is to make sure the TVA doesn’t explode.

“He’s a character who, as long as I’ve played him has been searching for meaning,” Hiddleston adds. “Even when he wasn’t aware of it, he was full of grievance and anger and emotional destabilization because he didn’t feel he had purpose or meaning. He was looking for meaning in the wrong places and now I think he’s found a way of giving himself purpose, which is to try to reorganize, to help Mobius and Hunter B-15 and the TVA.”

It’s a major shift for the character as viewers dive into the new season, and Hiddleston knows it, “If Season 1 was about self-awareness and self-acceptance, Season 2 is about taking responsibility and trying to find a new purpose. Maybe there’s more burden and less glory in the purpose this time.”

Either way, Hiddleston is thrilled to be putting back on Loki’s TVA jacket.

“I can’t believe I’m back. Season 1 felt like a new beginning because we were stripping Loki of everything that was familiar to him it was taking him away from, from the timeline and Asgard and Thor and Odin and all the things that I was familiar with. It’s a new beginning, a new story, a new chapter, and hoping that the audience will accept, and you know and be inspired by our new story… Let’s see if we can do it all again but better.”

Editor’s note: The following interview was conducted before the SAG-AFTRA strike began on July 14, 2023.

#tom hiddleston #loki #interview #loki series #loki season 2 #article #loki s02 #loki spoiler #spoilers

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animatorweirdo · 2 years

Text

Imagine washing up to Valinor

(Here it is. This is a oc x male reader just for your knowledge. I thank my friend for helping me with editing and hope you enjoy. Do share your thoughts from this fic if you feel like it)

(By the way I just thought this gif was prefect for this fic)

You can read OC’s intro from: here

Warnings: Thunderstorms, falling overboard, almost drowning, washing up to an unknown land, being only human around, mentions of body changing, home sickness, anxiety, inner turmoil, angts, homophobia, panic attacks, fluff, courtship and eventual marriage.

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- The last thing you remember was sailing through the sea in a terrible thunderstorm.

-It was raining and thundering, making you barely hear what your shipmates were trying to yell at you.

-Then the rope broke, and the mast struck you off the ship. Water was everywhere, and you struggled to keep yourself above the surface. You tried to yell for your shipmates, but the ship just sailed farther away from you.

-You were left at the mercy of the violent sea until it all went black.

-You woke up, looking at the sky and seagulls. Your body was tired and bruised, but you were alive. It was shocking, but you quickly adapted and got up from the sand.

-You felt strange. The shore didn’t look familiar, and you had sailed a lot to remember all the islands. Where exactly were you?

-The sand felt soft, and the air tasted sweet. The sky looked strange as you could see the sun and the stars. The stars in the sky looked different, confusing you as you couldn't tell which way was which. They were all mixed up.

-You wandered on the shore for a while, holding yourself as you shivered from turbulent winds and your mouth tasted the brine from the ocean.

-You felt hope when you saw a port and a group of elven sailors. You had dealt with elves before, so you felt hopeful that you might find your way back home.

-You went up to them, trying to ask for some help and directions. However, when they noticed you, they all looked at you like they had just seen a ghost.

-They kept staring at your round ears and didn’t seem to speak common elvish, so it was your first sign that there was something wrong about these elves.

-Luckily, one of them spoke a common language, and when you said you were human, they started uttering in shock and surprise, calling you an firya. It was strange, and you questioned if they had never seen a human before.

- You had a bad feeling but decided to ask where you were exactly, and the answer was more than shocking.

“I’m sorry…Aman?” You questioned. “As in, the undying lands of Valinor?” You asked, and the elf nodded. You looked at them all, and they were all serious.

-The expression on your face couldn't be best described as anything but shock. You felt cold, and your face paled.

-You could have thought it was a strange joke, but what happened next was no joke as you got taken to meet the Valar.

-You were frightened, and you couldn't stop shaking. The fear of judgment plagued you, even if you had not done anything wrong in your life.

-There you were, standing in front of the gods, who were equally shocked to see a human in the blessed lands and demanded an explanation of how you managed to get there in the first place. There was a power that should have kept mortals out unless invited.

-You managed to explain your situation and how you fell overboard during a thunderstorm before waking up on the shore.

-You had no hidden intentions. You were happy to leave the land as soon as possible if anyone was just willing to lend you a boat.

-They believed you, much to your relief, and sensed the truth in your words.

- They let you be until they settled what to do with you. You were free to wander around while the valar counseled among themselves.

-You were glad but also frightened. Elves gathered around to see what the commotion was about, peeking around the corners and whispering to each other when they saw you. It made you nervous because you noticed there were no humans in sight. Well, until you met Tuor.

-He was summoned to guide you since he was the only human living in Valinor. You felt comforted to see one of your kind but couldn't help but feel estranged as the man in front of him was more elf than human. Years spent in Valinor had left little of Tuor’s humanity.

-Tuor, however, was pleasant and joyful to meet another human. It had been centuries since he had been with his kin.

-He was kind to show you around and talk about things, helping you get over your fright and bring out your fascination with the elves and Valinor.

-It was like living a fairytale, and you couldn't help but bombard Tuor with questions, wanting to know everything with child-like enthusiasm. It was embarrassing at first, but Tuor was calm about it and laughed, remembering his own awe from his first few years in Valinor when he came there with his elven wife.

-It felt weird to be among elves since they gave you weird looks and talked among themselves. Tuor said some elves in Valinor have never seen a human, so he advised you not to take it personally.

-He then took you to meet some of the elves, and there you met him, Aicarosse Alassindo.

-A quite handsome Telerin elven lord with beautiful green eyes that reminded you of the sea and bright silver-like hair reminding you of pearls. He was charming and polite upon the first meeting, so you felt at ease.

-He was fascinated to meet you and might have been watching you a bit ever since he heard there was a human in Aman. He complimented that you were an intriguing sight and hoped you were doing well in the elven city.

-You felt flustered by his compliments since your fellow men were never so forthcoming with such praise. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had complimented you like that, especially since you were a man.

-You got excited when you two started talking about the seas and sailing. It distracted you from all the raging emotions in your heart and mind. It felt like you just clicked and couldn't help but share stories and experiences throughout your life. You shared stories about the oceans of the middle earth, and Aicarosse shared stories about Valinor and its magnificent shores.

-You might have forgotten about Tuor, but he did not mind as he was happy to see your blooming connection with the elven lord.

- Aicarosse was pleasant company, and you began to enjoy spending time with him. If not spending time with him, you were often busy thinking about spending time with him for hours. He didn't even mind that you began calling him Aica. You called him that by accident, but he seemed to enjoy it.

- It was all good and fun at the beginning until Tuor told you it was time to hear what the Valar have decided on your fate.

- You were nervous, but the thought of getting kicked out didn’t bother you much. You had family in middle earth, so you were willing to leave.

- However, it didn't end how you thought it would end.

- You couldn't go home.

- They didn't want to risk a chance of more humans coming to Valinor since you could learn the path if you left, and Valinor had already left its mark on you.

- You did not want to leave your family behind, so you begged them to let you go back, trying to promise that you would not tell anyone what had happened, and Valinor would remain forever a mystery, but they didn't budge.

- Your family members didn't have anyone else to provide for them. You couldn't just abandon them because you accidentally washed up to Valinor.

- However, they made their decision clear and tried to explain that Valinor had begun changing your fea from the moment you landed here, which was a sign you should not leave. They apologized for the unfortunate event and left you in Tuor's care.

- You didn't understand what they meant when they said Valinor changed you until you discovered your old wounds vanishing and your bad knee recovering.

- Tuor was sympathetic to your situation and understood the feeling since he could barely go see his son, who sails through the night stars.

- You tried to recover, trying to be somewhat optimistic. Even though: you couldn't stop thinking about your family and the realization that Valar were not allowing you to leave.

- Living in the immortal land was every mortal man's dream, but not for you. Not if you had to abandon your family.

- Tuor was kind enough to help you recover and settle down near port because you still had your love for the sea. Aicarosse generously aided you on that part too.

- It wasn't too bad at first. You managed to fit in among the sailors and make a couple of friends, sharing stories about middle earth. In return, they taught you about their culture and others.

- You managed to learn Quenya, which was a common language in Valinor. They explained that you have never heard about it because it was banned from middle earth hundreds of years ago.

- You wondered why but didn't question it after discovering something terrible happened during the first age. It was something that still lingered in the hearts of the Telerin elves to this day.

- However, alone or at home, you would bury your longing for home and family like a treasure chest lost in the ocean's depth. There wasn't a single day that you didn’t think about them. You couldn't help but resent the Valar for preventing you from going home.

- Tuor sometimes comes to check on you, and Aicarosse was always eager to greet you whenever you two saw each other.

- You appreciate their efforts, but it wasn't helping when frightening thoughts kept you awake at night. You couldn't stop thinking about bad things that might happen to your family during your absence.

- You had considered just making a boat and leaving the shore dead of night, but then you were afraid of what the Valar might do if you got caught. Could a mere sailor risk the wrath of the West? Tales of Numenor still haunted the shores of middle earth.

- It was hard to hide away these feelings, especially from Aicarosse.

- The ethereal elf had managed to become one of your good friends, and you were eternally grateful for his support and help whenever you had trouble dealing with elves and business.

- You didn't want to trouble him or anyone with your feelings, so you tried to deal with them in private.

-However, Aicarosse didn't make it easy.

-If anything, he seemed aware of your internal turmoil despite your discretion.

-You once stayed on a balcony at a party, looking out to the sea and thinking about middle earth. Aicarosse came and asked if something was troubling. He said he could see it in your eyes, so you opened up a little about your homesickness and anxiety that plagued your mind.

- Aicarosse spent his time with you, easing you from your homesickness, and you two ended up talking about your families, which lightened up the mood.

- You had a little locket with your family's pictures, so you introduced him to your siblings you looked after all these years.

- Aicarosse grew up as the only son, but he had cousins he had not seen in a long time due to terrible acts they committed hundreds of years ago. No one spoke of those acts anymore, yet the wounds they left could still be felt and seen.

- You empathized with him and felt more at ease as you two talked about your siblings. Aicarosse said they sounded lovely, and you two joked how your siblings would have acted if they had been there and met him.

- You and Aicarosse seemed to get closer as he sometimes came to visit you whenever he was free from his duties. He said it was never boring around you and wanted to make sure you weren't having trouble with your homesickness.

- It was a sweet gesture as he sometimes came along to walk on the beach and pick pearls from shallow reefs.

- You had to admit that his company helped you be at peace, and it was never dull whenever you decided to be mischievous and start a water fight or have a swimming race. He was a good swimmer, but he was impressed when you matched him on that skill.

-It was fun.

- However, the terrible thoughts and your longing to see your family again didn't subside. It grew terribly like a snake pushing its fangs into you, filling you with fear and anxiety.

- You tried to hide it away, but then you saw terrible dreams. Dreams of your siblings calling for help and begging you to come back. You saw the same fate that took your parents, taking your siblings into its cruel claws.

- Let's just say your anxiety took hold of you. It got worse that you tried pushing everyone away, even Aicarosse, who seemed to sense your internal conflict.

- You pretended everything was okay but after a little festival event. You couldn't take it anymore and left in silence. Aicarosse noticed and followed you out of worry

- He found you in the port, attacked by panic and tears in your eyes as you tried to prepare a boat. You didn't breathe properly, but you confessed all the terrible thoughts and dreams you kept having. You had to return to your family.

- Aicarosse was heartbroken to see you like this, and the only way he managed to calm you down was to take you into his arms. You two stumbled against some crates as you struggled, but he held you tightly against himself, soothing you from your panic attack.

- "How long have you been hurting like this?" Aicarosse whispered as he gently stroked your hair. You sniffled, trying to keep it in. Even though: your eyes were already shedding tears like a waterfall. You couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed. For years you reasoned that it was standard for men to reign their emotions to be stronger and protect their loved ones.

And here you were clinging and crying your eyes out.

The elf shushed, bringing your head down, against his chest. "It's okay to cry. Cry as much as you need," He said, and like a command, you bawled and clung to him as he kept you close.

- The night went fast as you couldn't remember well what happened after, but you did know Aicarosse took you back to your house and stayed the night.

- You felt ashamed. No doubt your elven friend thought you were weak and that you overreacted on that night.

-However, Aicarosse never belittled you like you thought he would after seeing you break down.

- He assured you that your feelings were valid, but you shouldn't have hidden them and allowed such thoughts to consume you from the inside. He did the same thing when he lost his family and friends during the kinslaying of Alqualondë.

- You felt a bit embarrassed as other men would have mocked you for being emotional, but you were glad when you found no such disapproval in Aicarosse’s eyes.

- You stayed at home to recover from your last night's breakdown, but later on, Aicarosse and Tuor came to you and took you to a mysterious place.

- Aicarosse shared what happened with Tuor, and the two sought permission to let you use a mystical orb called Palantir.

- You were confused until you discovered Palantir allowed you to see other places, including middle earth, and there you saw your family.

- Your siblings mourned your death as you were proclaimed dead. Your crew wasn’t able to find your body after the thunderstorm.

-However, they managed to continue as the second oldest of your siblings decided to take the reigns and care for the family.

-They were doing okay. It relieved you so much that it felt like a sack of rocks was lifted from your shoulders. All the terrible thoughts and dreams vanished, giving you a new feeling of peace.

- You couldn't thank Aicarosse and Tuor enough, who were happy that you felt better about your family.

- You managed to become more open about your troubles, so you stopped hiding them and talked to someone when needed.

- You and Aicarosse became closer as well.

- He became a tad more affectionate than usual, and he's always excited to come to see you at your home, port, or everywhere.

- You don't mind the affection, but you couldn't help but feel something was going on with your elf friend.

-One day, he asked about courting when you two were drying up after a swim.

- The question felt strange, but you explained the rules and what courting was like among humans.

- Aicarosse thought the rules were too strict, and you agree, but that's how you got raised by your people.

- He then asked a baffling question that caught you off guard for a moment. What about a courtship between two men?

- You weren't sure how to answer at first, then you explained a courtship between two men or two individuals of the same sex was considered taboo and even sinful.

- Aicarosse couldn’t find any reasoning or logic behind it. Why is it sinful if there's love and mutual respect between the couple?

- You didn't know how to answer that, except for the norms you grew up listening to. It was just wrong. No one gave you a simple explanation, except that it's unnatural and a man should have a wife.

-Aicarosse did make a good point. Shouldn't the relationship be good if it's filled with love and mutual respect like with other couples?

- After that, Aicarosse started to spend more time with you. He sometimes invites you to events and sometimes is there to greet you when you return from sailing.

- He treats you like a noble, which was almost strange since you were technically a commoner. The reasonable excuse was that sailors are respected among the mariners.

- After several months of living in the undying lands and among the elves, you have changed in appearance. You didn't notice until you took a good look in the mirror.

- Your skin was clear from everything, your hair had grown in length, and there was an odd glow in your eyes. There wasn't any trace of hair on your face, even though you had been trying for a beard. Sad.

- You rarely care about appearance, but you couldn't help but admit that you have become fairer, like an elf. Is this what Valar meant by Valinor changing you?

- But that was not the only change in you. Your feelings for a certain elf seemed to change as well.

- Aicarosse. You began thinking about him a lot, and you couldn't help but admit it becomes lonely when he isn't around. There was always a feeling of butterflies whenever he was around.

- And the fact that he allows you to call him Aica or Alassindo since he rarely allows anyone else to call him by those names.

- You thought you might have grown feelings for the elf lord, so you sought Tuor out for counsel just to make sure.

- Tuor was concerned when he heard something was troubling you, but then he laughed when you told him the problem.

- He and his wife were kind enough to explain your situation while trying to hold in the giggles and chuckles. You were embarrassed at first but felt glad when you got your confirmation about the matter. You had feelings for someone.

- When they asked you, who was the lucky one to steal your heart, they were surprised to know it was Aicarosse.

- You thought you would receive some backlash since a courtship between two men was not well received, but you were pleasantly surprised when they gave their support and assured marriage between same-sex couples was normal in Valinor.

- And Tuor's wife, Idril, then explained that Aicarosse came to Tuor once to ask for advice on human courtship. The two thought it was strange, but now it made sense.

- It was shocking news to you. You firstly misunderstood that Aicarosse was trying to court someone else at first, but then remembered your conversation and that there weren't any other mortals in Valinor.

-That could only mean Aicarosse felt the same about you.

- You didn't know what to think about it, but you thanked Tuor and Idril and made your way toward home.

- You felt happy about the discovery after observing Aicarosse for a while. It became clear that he was romantically interested in you.

- And you noticed that he showed some signs of courtship, like gifts and affectionate gestures, which was more than affection between two friends.

- You felt happy but also reluctant because you couldn't stop thinking about how people used to say; how a relationship between two men was sinful.

- If you were on middle earth, you would have been called a sinner and most likely banished or stoned to death, but since this was not middle earth. Maybe you could let go of that rule since there weren’t other humans. You were free to do what you liked.

- You tried to return some of the gestures to show you were interested. You had to ask Tuor for help since courting among elves was confusing.

- Aicarosse seemed to notice your gestures earlier and seemed delighted about it. He invited you for dinner with a couple of his relatives. It was fun. The food was tasty, and his relatives were lovely.

- However, you felt nervous. Your heart kept beating like a war drum, and you couldn't stop thinking about a moment you might confess your feelings.

- It was hard to think good things because all you heard were the voices yelling and screaming at you, telling you what you were doing was wrong.

- Aicarosse then decided to walk back home with you, saying he had something important to discuss.

- You were internally sweating as you were sure this was the moment where he confessed his feelings to you.

- You wanted to accept. Aicarosse made your heart soar like a seagull, and you have never felt like this with anyone else.

- He held your hand and looked you in the eye as he began telling how he started having feelings for you ever since he met you. It was straight out of a daydream.

- You wanted to say yes right then and there, but then you heard the voices again, and your anxiety got the best of you like all those months ago when you freaked out about your family and tried to leave Valinor.

- It became too hard to handle, so you pulled your hand away and ran away from him, excusing yourself.

- You didn't return to your house but walked upon the beach where you and Aicarosse often spent time together. It had many good memories.

- You felt ashamed of yourself. You managed to handle your anxiety, but the embarrassment and self-hate of how you just left Aicarosse standing there tortured your soul. He will never look at you the same way after that kind of rejection.

- You wanted to scream at night, ask for a reason why your life had to be so difficult. Was Eru making your life into a joke?

- You decided to sit down on the sand, allowing the water to reach your feet. You closed your eyes and listened to the waves as they often calmed you down.

- You heard footsteps coming your way and saw it was Aicarosse. He didn't say anything at first. He sat down next to you and enjoyed the silence for a moment.

- You felt awkward but decided to come through and apologize for running away.

- You then asked what was so special about you that you were worthy of his heart.

- "Everything," He said.

- He then went on about how things started to change when you arrived. He used to have a troubled view of life as he couldn't let go of what happened in the past but then started to look forward to the future when you arrived in Aman. After spending time with you and that one night, he couldn't help but feel more about you.

- His words fluttered your heart, but the voices of doubt still loitered in your mind. You decided to be bold and straddled his hips while looking at him in those beautiful eyes, asking if he would love a human man.

- Aicarosse only smiled, pushing your hair behind your ear while asking if you could love an elf like him.

- The voices in your head became distant, but they were still there as you felt the chains breaking you from doubt and fear.

- "This would have been considered a taboo in middle earth," You stated as you stared into each other's eyes. Aicarosse chuckled while he leaned closer to your face, your nose almost touching. "Good thing this is not middle earth, so what's stopping you?" He asked. You sucked your breath as you knew the answer, and the voices vanished. "Nothing," You uttered, then leaned down to kiss him without hesitation.

- It was an unforgettable moment, feeling his lips and each other without care about the world. It was just you and him.

-The feeling became more powerful. It was like you were feeling each other’s soul for the first time, and you basked in it. It was a feeling you never want to let go of.

- After that, you two started officially courting.

- The elves were ecstatic about the news since it didn't stay a secret for long.

- Aicarosse made you feel loved every day, and it was hard not to accept his affection and gifts since he had a way with words.

- You got teased by your elven shipmates, and your captain was happy since having someone like Aicarosse for support was good for business.

- Tuor and Idril were there to congratulate you.

- Things then ended up in marriage, and that day was one of the happiest days you ever had.

- You have never thought in your wildest dreams that after years of living by human rules and sailing. You would end up marrying an elven lord. Your family and human associates would have freaked out if they ever learned.

- The wedding wasn't too big but was lavish.

- You never cared about appearance. However, this time you felt like bragging. You have never dressed in such formal clothes, and the elves did your hair rather beautifully with pearls and gems. You felt more like a bride than a groom.

- It impressed Aicarosse so much that he couldn't take his eyes off you the whole day.

- The wedding went wonderfully, and many congratulated you, including Tuor and Idril, who you invited.

- From that day forth, you lived as lord Aicarosse's husband. It took some time to get used to it since you have never been called a lord in your whole life. You also never imagined getting a high status this way.

- Aicarosse loved when you called him Aica or Alassindo since it was his birth name, and he didn’t allow anyone else to use those names casually. It was your private privilege.

- It didn't matter. You two lived happily. You had no worries and felt assured everything would be alright with Aicarosse by your side.

#oc x reader #oc #oc x male reader #silmarillion x reader #silmarillion #human reader #tolkien #silm fic #middle earth x reader #middle earth #lotr x reader #silmarillion headcanon #oc headcanons #elf x human reader #tuor #valinor #valar #teleri oc

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debbiechanclub · 11 months

Note

(disclaimer that I’m not out here simping for or trying to defend a million dollar company, just a fan with frustrations)

the njpw/aew partnership has always felt incredibly unbalanced. FTR didn’t defend or talk about the IWGP tag belts and skipped out on WTL, Kenny (as much as I love the dude) has done 0 with the US belt, AEW did nothing to promote Willow being part of the Strong Tournament. Desperado set a match with Mox and that didn’t get mentioned. They didn’t even talk about Dominion until after it happened. New Japan social media and commentary make a big effort to keep continuity and talk about things going on in their partner promotions.

Even with Takeshita. DDT has tweeted about the heel turn, their wrestlers have mentioned it, I cannot remember the last time DDT was even mentioned on the show

I get that All Together Again and the Road Tour means 90% of their roster is booked up and it would be a struggle to appear live. But a build to a show doesn’t need to be done 2 weeks before. This is something we should have had going since tickets went on sale. Or at the very least, ask them to film backstage promos to send in, not just play the promotional videos and press conferences that New Japan did themselves.

Sorry, you sent this after I fell asleep, but I agree with everything you've said! Like, I'm not even trying to shit on AEW―it's just facts.

FTR and Kenny were the first people I thought of when Aussie Open had to relinquish the IWGP and Strong tag titles even though Mark would only be out 6 weeks. And Kevin Kelly explained at a later date that if the Dominion match hadn't been set they could have just kept the titles which, okay, fine. But that doesn't change that FTR and Kenny just sat/are just sitting on their respective titles. Also, I was Big Mad when Kenny defended the US title against Jeff Cobb on Dynamite and not a few weeks later at Capital Collision. Like, that's an NJPW belt, my guy. Kenny by God Omega coulda shoulda woulda brought soooooo many more eyes to Capital Collision/NJPW. (And I thought he would have known better, too? That was his home for years?)

But you hit the nail on the head—it's an unbalanced relationship and I frankly don't know what NJPW is getting out of it? Forbidden Door 2 is probably gonna be another routing of their talent like the first FD was.

And like you said, there's absolutely ways to work around people not being able to come to America in order to build a feud/to a PPV. But like I said to that anon, David Finlay been around and available. AEW had the time to meaningfully address the long, long history between him and BOTH Jay and Juice. Juice literally turned on Finlay to join Bullet Club and now Finlay is the leader and you're just gonna ignore that?! And Jay's been exiled from NJPW but he's still out here acting like he's in Bullet Club?! As if (in storyline) Finlay would just allow that happen?! PLEASE. Make it make sense.

Editing to add: there's still a chance to meaningfully introduce the White/Finlay feud AT Forbidden Door. As I said, Jay's been kayfabe exiled from NJPW (and working with NJPW talent, I believe?), so he really SHOULD NOT be anywhere near Toronto on June 25th if they're gonna uphold that. But he could show up because it's also an AEW event. And then Finlay could show up and be like, "Wtf do you think you're doing?" And boom, there you go. I HOPE that happens, genuinely. If not... I will fly to Florida just to smack Tony Khan.

#asks #sorry again I'm getting to this hours later!#and welcome to my insane blog I hope you enjoy yourself

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lesbianfakir · 7 months

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"#if anyone cares send me an ask id love to ramble about my issues with how mangahood are structured" oh? owo?

ANON YOU ARE MY HERO!! You have been warned these are my personal taste opinions and don't necessarily reflect what makes a "good" story

I have two main points that sort of tie into one: I think fma makes more sense as a smaller scale story.

Under the readmore because this got long:

Yes, it’s a shounen of course it eventually has a grand arc with the world at stake. I can’t really blame it for that. But at its core the story is about the Elric brothers’ love for each other, and their loss of innocence as they venture out into the world that's hurt them so. We care about them, about their near impossible struggle to right a mistake and get their lives and bodies back. And we see how cruel and horrible the world can be through the eyes of children. Keeping with mangahood’s hopeful tone we also see how good the world can be, and imo this works best in the smaller interactions ie winry helping to deliver a baby, the hughes’ family’s generosity to the elrics and winry, etc. The jump from a character driven story (Edward wants to save his little brother) to a more shouneny plot driven story (Edward needs to save the world) takes the focus away from a lot of what I find compelling about FMA.

3/4's of the way into mangahood the Elrics are sort of subsumed into the plot at large and the story doesn't come back to them until Al makes his sacrifice. If I'm being honest, the final battle feels a little contrived to center our protagonists when the whole conclusion could've been written with them at the center to start with (that said I LIKE the end of Brotherhood, this is just a personal taste for story structure thing).

Now obligatory 03 ramble, in contrast 03 keeps the Elrics centered throughout. The final battle isn't much of a battle at all. And sure, it isn't as grand. But it feels in keeping with the heart of the story--Dante is going to kill Alphonse so she can live forever. The whole series up until this point is about Ed trying to save Al, it makes SENSE for this to be the conclusion. The brothers' codependent love comes to a forefront with each unwilling to let the other die, even at the cost of his own life. In this way not only do we begin and end with the Elrics, but we've stayed with them the entire time. 03 is a much more character driven personal story and that's where its charm lies.

My second and bigger issue with the structure of mangahood isin the way it uses large-scale tragedy to fuel its plot.

There are better posts than I can make already written about how mangahood centers the feelings of the perpetrators over the victims. What I will say is the fact that the ishbal war started due to an “accidental” hate crime against an ishbalan child by a military officer is a very sensitive topic and hits close to home (I’m American and this is a very, very relevant conflict). It feels a little in poor taste to me to take something so political and so sensitive and go ahaha but you see it was ENVY all along! Arakawa picked a very heavy subject as the backdrop for her story and sort of relegated it to that: a backdrop. What’s presented as a racially motivated genocide actually was just the bad guys being evil. It falls just short of a real, in-depth criticism of the military. Instead we are left with good men and women who were just following orders (which she DOES explore to a good extent and I appreciate how she does not shy away from making it clear what they did was unforgivable). The corrupt military being corrupt because it is the pawn of a big bad inhuman god-wannabe just... falls flat for me.

In 03, the child's murder at the hands of the police is a fabricated story created to "explain" the genocide--instigated by the military without provocation. And this happens because one, powerful human selfishly wanted to extend her own life. This is the story that feels more true to life and dares to really engage with the themes presented instead of writing them off as some plot device. Not to say that 03 didn't have its own problems with its depiction of genocide because. oh boy nazis in shamballa?? HUH!.

Anyways again these are all my opinions. I think FMA has a lot of heart, and it works best on a smaller scale in order to tell a more personal story.

#fma #fma 03 #03 gets its own tag now #if you read all this ily #peope have written much much better criticisms of how ishbal is handled than i have #anyways anon tysm for enabling me #i have a lot of feelings about this #like the final battle in brotherhood iis good its good #but at that point the series turns full shounen

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fanficsforheartandsoul · 1 year

Text

A Wolf’s Heart | [Deglan x M!Reader] | The Witcher | Part VII

Note: I’m proud (more like ashamed haha...) to announce that the one year anniversary of this requested fic has already passed, like oh god... Ngl I struggled so hard to find the direction I wanted to take this, I had several ideas but mid-writing I wanted to change it again and now we have this. Writing is hard. This will be a life-time lesson for me. But ey depression is really a big hurdle sometimes so yeah... anyways, please enjoy and once again, sorry for the wait :)

Fandom: The Witcher

Warnings: Mentions of Blood, Swearing, Depression, Angst, Slight OOC, Non-Canon Story, Century Typical Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Spiraling, Injuries, Self-Concious Reader, Misunderstandings, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Addiction

Summary: After having suffered heavy injuries at the beginning of winter and being unable to return to Kaer Morhen, Y/N tries to mend his relationships slowly by approaching one of his friends but someone thwarts his plans and he has not yet prepared himself to meet that person again.

Word Count: 5.05k

Taglist: @thatsequoia

Note 2: For all the people wondering about the postal service in this story - like how the fuck did those letters find the witchers on the Path... Magic baby 😎

The name of Deglan’s horse (Borsuk) translates to badger.

This part mentions Vergen, which appears in the 2nd Witcher game but I haven’t played this game, so my description is inaccurate.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VIII, Part IX

Masterlist

Deglan once thought he was a patient man. He was wrong.

Birke was in two weeks and he was about to lose his fucking mind.

Y/N was invading every second of his days and he had a hard time focusing on training the new brats and lecturing them. Every little thing reminded him of the younger witcher in some way or another.

In every nook of the school's keep, he could conjure up a memory of them together and if he couldn't touch the other soon, hold him in his arms, kiss him, he would go on a rampage.

His bad mood could be sensed not only by his apprentices but also by the other witchers. Most of them had already left on the Path, the bunch he trained for example, but some were still here. And all of them were known to be lazy and therefore, their presence stoked his fury whenever he saw them chattering away and lazing around in the Evening hall.

The fiery annoyance was visible in his eyes and so most avoided him whenever they crossed his path.

While their presence had been a curse, the presence of one peculiar younger witcher ended up as a blessing.

Wendir, Y/N's close friend, was one of the men who still lingered in the school and one peculiar Saturday evening, he ended up knocking on Deglan’s door.

He was working on his next lecture when he heard the knock and he raised an eyebrow when he came face to face with the witcher he had trained alongside of Y/N, Fenri, Barmin and the three others.

The brown-haired man looked serious and a suspicious feeling rose in his chest.

"I received a letter.”

Those four words were enough for Deglan's heartbeat to speed up.

Wordlessly he received the paper from the other and he began to read.

Wendir,

I write to you in hope that you will try to understand my thinking and actions with an objective view. I don't dare send these words to Fenri or Barmin because I must have made them angry and I expect them to doubt my words, which they have every right to do. You're free to do so as well, though I beg you to try and see my reasoning before making your opinion about me.

As you may know, I haven't returned to Kaer Morhen this winter and have yet to explain why I couldn't.

At this point, I'm certain you're aware... of my secret, but please do not blame my absence on that.

You might have already left the keep and though I am uncertain of your next location I ask you to meet me in Vergen and give me the opportunity to explain myself.

I’m not there yet but I am close and as slow as I currently am, I expect to arrive around the time of Birke and if you still ride like you did when we were younger you possibly will as well.

I hope to see you soon.

Y/N, Vengerberg

If you could spare some herbs for me... An accident happened and I lost most of my stash...

Deglan read the letter twice and it took him less than a second to make a decision after he read the last sentence again.

He pointed his finger at Wendir and his voice held a determined tone:

"You saddle your horse and Borsuk."

The younger man blinked.

"Right now?"

Deglan pushed the letter into Wendir’s hands and began to button up his shirt.

"Right now. And fucking hurry up! I'll go and talk to Rennes before we depart."

Wendir scratched his head but the brown-haired witcher turned around and hurried down the hall.

Deglan’s lips formed a grim smile as he pulled his witcher medaillon from underneath his shirt and then he turned around and quickly grabbed a few things from his shelves and stuffed them in the bags he had already prepared weeks ago.

His heartbeat quickened as he put on his fur cloak and his sword scabbards over it. He loosened their belts a bit and then grabbed his armoured gloves.

Almost, he thought as he put them on as well.

He glanced at the papers on his table. The lesson plan for the next few days, the unfinished suggestion letter for another parcours course.

Fuck his lectures, fuck the brats he had to teach and fuck Rennes.

He would leave right now, whether their leader wanted that or not. He would not ask for permission this time.

Quickly he wrote down a few words on a piece of paper, left the note on his bed and then he grabbed his bags and walked out of the room to go and find some herbs he could bring with him for Y/N.

Half an hour later Deglan and Wendir left through the gate.

Brace yourself, bastard. I’m done being patient, Y/N.

Lisica followed the path to Vergen in a slow but steady walk. The mare seemed content to take it easy for once and her ears moved around to take in all the sounds of the surrounding wildlife.

Her rider absent-mindedly petted her mane and was deep in thought.

Will he come?

Y/N had hesitated at first but Hannes convinced him to write a letter to one of his friends.

At first, he thought about Barmin but something inside of him was too self-conscious to write to his best friend. It was the fact that he had not sent the other a letter in the last few months, he addressed the one where he apologized for his absence to Fenri...

In the end, he chose Wendir, the youngest of their friend group. He might be more understanding in this situation than his best friend. The brunette was surprisingly the most rational besides Barmin. Probably because he had a lot of time to think since he always used to avoid chores and his training in the school’s keep.

Fond memories rose and he lifted his head to squint at the sun. He still had to ride for a few more hours before he would reach the next bigger village. And from there it would take him another 3 days until he would arrive in Vergen.

The prospect of more aching leg muscles and a sore butt caused him to smile grimly.

He had wanted to buy a new saddle for months now but he did not have the money. He had spent most of it on his unexpected stay in Vengerberg and alcohol. The druid, who more or less did a good job, had been expensive and even though Iven gave him a discount on his stay in the tavern, Y/N’s pockets were lighter than he liked.

His annoyance only grew as he thought of how he spent the coins he had received from Fenri’s hunt.

He sighed and patted his healing leg. It still hurt a bit and that was why he was travelling at such a slow speed. He didn’t want to hinder the healing process so he was riding at snail’s pace.

On one side, it was relaxing, on the other, it was boring and it gave his mind a lot of time to wander and to mull over his upcoming stay in Vergen.

He really hoped Wendir would come.

He needed someone by his side because the prospect of having lost his friends and giving up on the love of his life was filling his head with dark thoughts and things he did not want to think about at all.

He sighed deeply.

I hope I can still fix this...

Anxious, his hand found one of the wine bottles in his saddle bag, while his other played with the blue cloth around his neck. .

3 days later Y/N lowered himself to the ground and led Lisica inside the stable of Vergen’s only inn, The Cauldron, with bowlegs.

Every muscle in his body ached and the dwarf who had pointed him towards the stables at the outskirts of the city and who he paid for Lisica’s stay, chuckled when he saw the hooded figure stiffly walk into the building.

The stable was made out of stone like all the other buildings in the town and since the sun had yet to set, the lanterns inside weren’t lit and therefore, only few specks of light entered the barn. Not that the darkness was a problem for his eyes.

He rolled his tight shoulders and examined the building. It was quite big with 12 horse boxes made of wooden walls that reached the middle of his torso. Most of them seemed occupied by horses of all sizes and colors.

The witcher led Lisica into the first unoccupied box near the entrance. Next to it was one with a white pony.

The little guy - who most likely belonged to one of the many dwarves in town - looked curiously over the wooden wall and Lisica greeted him with a snort, while her owner took off her bridle. She stretched her neck, and he followed her example and groaned as he stretched his whole body, her bridle still in his left hand. He stepped out after giving Lisica a head pat and hung it on the designated hook outside the door.

Next to the right wall of the box was a saddle stand and a small shelf with some brushes. He made a mental note to use them to reward his mare.

She had been very patient for the last day when they basically rode for 24 hours straight. He would give her a well-deserved massage and make her coat look the shiniest among the horses in the stable.

He was about to step into the box again to get his bags and remove Lisica’s saddle when he noticed a dark brown horse in the box right next to the white pony’s. He could only see the ass of the animal, but it had a scar on its rump that he could recognize easily and relief washed over him like a big wave.

Wendir was here. He had come.

A bit overwhelmed with joy, he quickly entered the box again and rifled through his saddlebags, while ignoring Lisica’s curious headbutts. He found the carrots he had bought from a farmer and gave one to his mare. She gobbled it up while eyeing the other one, but that carrot wasn’t for her.

He temporarily closed the gate to Lisica’s stable and then he walked down the hallway of the barn towards the box with the familiar horse.

In the dim light he saw how Wendir’s mare Katya was dozing while relaxing her right hind leg.

Based on the straw in her fur and some not-fully dried sweat stains, he guessed that his friend still rode like a member of the Wild Hunt and barely arrived before him.

“Hey girl”, he said in a low whisper, and she turned her head.

He held the carrot over the box gate, and it appeared as if she wasn’t interested at first. He frowned.

“Did he urge you like a demon again?”, he asked the horse, remembering the riding lessons he had with his friends, and he clicked his tongue disapprovingly. Katya huffed as if she was agreeing.

Tiredly, she stepped up to the gate and he petted her softly as she ate the carrot.

He was cooing her name, telling her how happy he was to see her, while scratching her head.

If someone saw him, the witcher who stank like a drunkard and looked like someone had used a plow on his face, talking in a high voice, they would probably shake their heads in disbelief and maybe disgust. But he was just too excited.

In maybe half an hour he would explain himself to Wendir and hopefully the other would understand him. His ugly mug would serve as proof and then his friend would help him calm Fenri’s anger and Barmin’s likely disappointment. He could see it before his eyes, and he breathed out as if a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

After realizing that he didn’t have more carrots, Katya had enough of his petting, and she walked away from him to return to her former dozing position.

Y/N saw that as a cue to take care of Lisica and returned to her box, where he took off her saddle and put it on the saddle stand. He grabbed one of the brushes and for the next 15 minutes he brushed her and spoke to her in a low voice, while she relaxed and nibbled away on the hay in the corner.

After making sure his mare was comfortable for the night, he grabbed his bags and left the building. It was quite dark now and, in the distance, he could see lights in the houses.

He was about to slowly follow the stony path to The Cauldron when he heard a snort and when he turned his head, he noticed the small pasture next to the stable. Unlike he had thought before when he entered the stables, there actually was a horse in it.

Something put pressure on his chest.

A few feet away, behind the wooden fence stood an ash grey stallion.

He knew that horse well. He had learned mounted combat on it.

Memories bubbled to the surface, and he felt sick. The sweet aftertaste of Cintrian Faro suddenly tasted foul.

He remembered hours of training and having sore muscles, falling into the dirt, getting kicked after agitating Borsuk too much, hands that helped him out of the saddle, hands that checked him for blisters, hands that had put medicine on the hoof-shaped bruise on his back, hands that he had dreamed about so many times-

Y/N whirled around, his heartbeat thundering loudly in his ears and made one step, two, three- before someone grabbed him by his cloak and dragged him towards the side of the stable.

His attacker hurled him against the stone wall and the impact left him dazed and pain shot through his body from his head to his still healing leg. His collar was seized harshly, the other man basically carried all his weight, and he felt the breath of his assailant on his face.

Y/N didn’t dare open his eyes.

“You goddamn bloody bastard”, said an agitated voice that he hadn’t heard in almost three years now. His heart quivered and he turned his head away instinctively. His hand let go of his bags in defeat.

Fuck was all he could think at that moment. Bloody fucking hell.

“Look at me, you fucker.”

The witcher breathed out shakily, and then opened his eyes to peer at the other man out of the corner of his vision.

Deglan looked the same as three years ago, besides maybe a few more grey strands in his hair and beard and some wrinkles. His jaw was still framed by a magnificent beard, and his sharp cheekbones combined with his broken nose embodied a handsome roughness. He looked better than ever.

Y/N had a hard time breathing.

But Deglan’s face was dark, a blazing fury was visible in his yellow eyes and his lips were pulled into a snarl.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment”, growled the older witcher and had he said those words to him in any other moment, Y/N would have felt a sharp tug in his lower body, but due to these circumstances, he only felt panic rising in his chest.

“...S… ‘s good to see you, Deglan...”

At first, he thought that his low murmur was left unnoticed, but his former mentor rose an eyebrow and a second later, he frowned and sniffed the air.

“You smell like shit. How much booze did you drink on your way here? Did you lose your way during the winter and end up in a Brewery instead of Kaer Morhen?”

All of Deglan’s words stung like hell. Fuck, they were a low blow and Y/N winced inwardly. Because as much as it stung, it was halfway true.

He sunk more into himself, and his mentor had to hold him up.

The lack of any reply didn’t seem to sit well with Deglan, so he grabbed him by the chin and roughly turned his head.

“Care to look me in the eye when I speak to y-”

Y/N’s eyes were downcast, and his face was covered in the shadows of his hood, but this didn’t stop the witcher’s eyes from spotting the new ugly scars across his face.

His mentor sucked in some air sharply and he automatically formed his hands into fists. The h/c haired witcher digged his nails into his skin trying to ground himself but this situation was so much worse than any nightmare scenario he had ever imagined, it was of no use.

The grip on his collar left and Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as Deglan’s hand entered his periphery. An absurd fear of getting hit entered his mind, but his mentor did no such thing.

He touched his cheek, light as a feather and it was so unexpected after his rough handling and talk that Y/N’s limbs turned weak.

His breath quickened automatically as the man he still loved so passionately traced the scar tissue in his face with an unreadable expression.

“...A forktail. It got me good”, he said awkwardly and tried to ignore the growing heat that crept up his neck.

Deglan remained silent, his eyebrows scrunched and with his other hand, he pushed off the hood of Y/N’s cloak to fully reveal the length of his scars, his chipped right ear and his disrupted hairline.

Someone breathed out shakily, Y/N wasn’t sure if it was himself or the other man, but he felt extremely vulnerable and exposed.

This is the worst...

He felt so embarrassed, so ashamed- Talented my ass, if he remembered the last 2 years, he wasn’t exactly the prime example of a good witcher.

Standing in front of Deglan now, he felt inferior.

He hadn’t bathed in weeks, he smelled like a drunkard and was one too. He lost all of his herbs and elixirs, had barely any money left and looked disfigured, and on top of it all, he didn’t even consider the possibility of Wendir’s letter getting into the wrong hands.

Deglan had either forced his friend to read Y/N’s letter to him or his brown-haired friend betrayed him and went to his former mentor by free will. Not so clever, are we…

Anger churned in his chest, but it was overshadowed by the growing black hole that seemed to suck every snippet of hope away from him when he looked at the stony expression of his mentor, the snippets of hope that had begun to burn again after Deglan touched him with such tenderness.

He must be disappointed that his “talented” apprentice let himself get mangled by a monster to such an extent. Why else would he look so stern? There was no other explana-

“Fuck, I worried so much.”

Hands grabbed Y/N’s arms and suddenly there was a weight on his shoulder. Deglan’s head pressed against the thick cloth of his cloak, and he heard him sigh deeply.

His heart pounded loudly in his ear. He blinked. And didn’t react. He stood still as a statue, while his former mentor clung onto him, his fingers digging into the leather armor that covered his wrists. The warmth of the other man was almost unbearable, and Y/N’s breath turned erratic once more.

“L-Let go please”, he croaked, something was blocking his throat.

The older witcher lifted his head and halted. Y/N could practically see how his pupils began to focus on the blue cloth around his throat and had Deglan said something in that moment, he would’ve been unable to hear anything because his heartbeat was thundering so loudly in his chest.

Fuck, oh lord-

“I-“, he began but before he could find the words to formulate the dozen dumb excuses in his mind, Deglan grabbed his head and took his breath away.

The kiss was sloppy and more forceful than anything else, but it ignited the dying fire in Y/N’s hollow chest, and before he could even think about it he found himself leaning into the touch subconsciously.

Their lips parted soon after and he breathed in hastily, feeling light-headed from the lack of oxygen and the fact that Deglan just fucking kissed him.

The younger witcher grabbed his mentor’s upper arms, keeping him at arm’s length away.

“What- what are you doing??” he whispered, staring at the thigh that invaded the space between his legs and his lip quivered as his mind spun from shock.

“Don’t run away anymore, Y/N. You bloody fool.”

He didn’t have time to process these words.

Deglan kissed him again, he pressed his body against his and in the dark of the night, against the cold stone wall of the stable, Y/N fell into the abyss.

His body was going up in flames, every part that Deglan touched started burning and the fire couldn’t be extinguished.

His mentor’s beard scratched his cheeks and his tongue sent shivers down his spine. His left leg was giving out, but it was nonchalantly ignored as the older witcher held him up with his arms and his leg on which Y/N was basically sitting by now.

The friction against his pants was driving him crazy.

Y/N moaned but the sound was silenced by Deglan’s greedy lips, and the two men lost themselves in the fiery heat of the other.

Sometime later he recovered and was suddenly he was sitting at a table in the tavern, one of his best friends in front of him while his mentor stared holes into the side of his head from the seat next to him. His bags were tucked under the stool he was currently sitting on.

He didn’t know how he even got there, still dazed from the sudden development. His face flushed as he remembered how his mentor basically devoured his lips and every spot that Deglan’s hands had touched tingled.

“Y/N?” Wendir asked and he blinked to regain his focus.

“Yes?” he croaked; his voice was rough, and he coughed.

Wendir gesticulated at his face, the brown-haired witcher was frowning since the moment he saw his friend’s red rimmed scars and his glossy eyes, as if he had cried just a while ago.

“What happened?”

He opened his mouth to answer but Deglan interrupted him:

“A forktail attacked him.”

Y/N stared at the older man in confusion while Deglan returned his look with a burning gaze. He gulped and turned his head to stare at the wood grain of the table. Because of that he missed Wendir’s raised eyebrow.

“I… I uh was on my way to Hagge when the bastard pounced on me. He surprised me, and I was careless”, he lowered his head and stroke his hair, clenching the other hand into a fist. It wasn’t exactly fun retelling that embarrassing moment again.

He felt totally out of it. All the things he had wanted to tell his friend were lost in the tornado that currently swept through his mind.

Deglan kissed me his brain screamed and between the excitement and the shock he was left dazed and speechless. So, he just told Wendir and Deglan the most important thing he wanted his friend to know:

“I was on my way to Kaer Morhen, you have to believe me.”

He hesitantly looked up at the other two and his gaze met Deglan’s. His mentor looked at him, his yellow eyes filled with something Y/N couldn’t quite fathom. Something flitted across his face and like many times before he wished he could hear what was going on inside his mentor’s head.

“I believe you.”

Wendir cut the moment between them short, but relief trickled through the h/c haired witcher and the tension in his shoulders disappeared. His eyes met his friend’s, and both smiled weakly.

“We know how old scars look on a witcher and yours are still fairly new” said Wendir and he gave their mentor a meaningful look.

Said man remained quiet, his expression was blank, hiding his feelings like a mask and it worried Y/N endlessly. But before he could say anything the inn keeper arrived and placed three jugs of beer down on their table.

“If ye want more, get it yerself, there-” the short man pointed at the barrels lined up at the wall across the tavern. The giant wood barrels were barely visible behind the number of patrons currently inside. “I’ll put it on yer tab. Ask my daughter if you want to pay.” He nodded at a young woman who walked past with some dishes in her hands.

The witchers all expressed their thanks and the inn keeper left, Y/N downed his drink in a few gulps, and then was about to stand up to get another and to momentarily flee but Deglan reached out lightning quick and grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“If I were you, I’d stop drinking so much.”

His mentor’s hand burned like fire on his skin and for a second the h/c haired witcher thought about their moment next to the stables and how much his breath must have smelled, and he ducked his head and nodded slowly.

Wendir looked at them with a strange expression but when he saw how Deglan watched his friend with eagle eyes after taking his hand back, his own eyes grew big and the corners of his mouth twitched.

Oh, he saw what was going on. There must have been a reason why his mentor and Y/N had entered the tavern at the same time, the latter clearly dazed as if something life-changing had happened.

“Congratulations”, he said while lifting his jug, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

Y/N stared at him and mirrored the gesture visibly confused but before he could ask why Wendir congratulated him, the brunette began to talk about his and Deglan’s journey to Vergen.

The h/c haired witcher barely payed attention, Wendir suffering Deglan’s silence went in one ear and out the other, his head still back at the stable, Deglan’s words echoing in his mind.

“Don’t run away anymore, Y/N.”

Run away? Did this really mean what he was thinking? Was it all a misunderstanding? Did Deglan actually-

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. Look at him, he’s fucking tired. He is not the only one. We should all go to bed, I already paid for our rooms.”

Deglan interrupted Wendir’s dramatic retelling with rolling eyes and stood up, his empty jug in one hand, some coins for the payment of their drinks in another. His words interrupted Y/N’s racing thoughts and he felt as if he returned to reality.

As if...

“Oh, yes, I need to ask for my room.”

“Wait-”

He stood up - his hands taking the bags from underneath his seat - and due to one of the barmaids manouvering herself and 6 jugs between the tables and bodies, Y/N evaded Deglan’s outstretched hand and he hurried to the inn keeper, who had retreated back behind the counter where he was cleaning the used jugs in a skilled fashion.

“I’d like to get a room please and a bath”, he said, a little breathless, rummaging through one of his saddle bags to look for his coin pouch.

“Not with one of the others, huh? There’s only one room left and it’s connected to the one next to it but ye can lock the door. I’m sure ye take what ye can get. Room plus bath costs 120 a night, another 15 if ye want hot water.”

Y/N didn’t really understand what he meant with his first words but he didn’t think about it too long because he could feel a certain someone stare holes into his back and it messed with his head.

“Uhh, yes, I’ll take that one. Here-” he handed the man the amount and some additional coins, “make sure the door stays closed. And I’ll take hot water please.”

The inn keeper nodded and then waved at his daughter, who hurried towards them as soon as she spotted her father.

“Take the lad upstairs and prepare a hot bath in the corner room.”

His daughter, a red-haired, busty young woman, looked him up and down, her eyes visibly frowning when she saw his scarred face, but she said nothing and instead took the key for the room from her father’s hand and then gestured for him to follow her.

The h/c haired witcher thanked the old man and then quickly followed her to the stairs. A look back showed him that Deglan was still watching him, his yellow eyes were dark and holding something predatory. Wendir behind him only grinned and gave him a little wave.

The woman led him to the first floor and to the room which was furthest away from the stairs. She unlocked the door and gave him the key without touching his skin.

“Here”, she stated and quickly retracted her hand. “I’ll come back with hot water in a few minutes. It will be fully prepared in about an hour.”

He nodded and quietly whispered his thanks, as her eyes darted everywhere but his face. He bit his lip and then walked into the room, where he placed his bags at the foot of the bed.

The room was small, there was only space for the bed, a chest in the left corner next to it and next to the door behind a folding screen was a wooden bath tub.

The door which connected this room to the one next to it, was small, smaller than his height but it seemed to be used regularly as no dust appeared on the door handle.

The daughter of the inn keeper took a bucket from behind the folding screen and then left him alone in the room, closing the door behind her.

Y/N sighed and sat down on the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands.

What the hell had just happened in the last 30 minutes? Was he dreaming?

A certain witcher asked himself the same question but due to different reasons.

#requested #the witcher #the witcher x male reader #the witcher animation #deglan #deglan x male reader #deglan x m!reader #x male reader #male reader #mlm fanfic #the witcher 3 #request #fanficsforheartandsoul #fanfiction #i'm sorry #part 7 #damn it's taking so long

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wordsafterhours · 2 years

Text

Songs About You: Chapter 1

Apologies for the short word count and if it seems forced. I’m trying to figure out my storyline and like said before, it’s been so long since I’ve written anything of substance. I’ll get there, hopefully.

Also, if you want to be tagged when I struggle through writing, just let me know :)

Masterlist

Word count: 1.5K

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The Orynth air was particularly crisp this morning, signaling that fall wasn’t far behind. Aelin smiled softly to herself as she reveled in that knowledge. The past few summer months had been unusually hot and if she was being honest with herself, it had made her quite cranky. Lysandra and Elide had remarked on it several times—apparently there was only so much complaining and bitchy attitude the pair would accept from her.

Aelin glanced down at her watch, hoping she had enough time to grab coffee from “The Stag” before she had to open the bookstore. She’d spent too much time looking for her favorite sage green crew neck this morning and had almost accepted defeat when she found it in the very back of her closet. However, she’d had to forgo makeup and fixing her hair to still leave her house on time, but the outfit was worth it. She knew she looked good in her ankle boots, dark wash skinny jeans and sweater, and that made up for the rest.

Coffee assaulted her senses the moment she pulled open The Stag’s heavy green door. There weren’t many people in line, and she silently thanked the gods. Her turquoise eyes pursued up and down the elegant script menu, acting like she wasn’t going to order the same thing she always did.

“Good morning, Aelin,” said Archer as she approached the worn wooden counter.

“Morning, Archer,” she replied cheerfully.

“The usual or are you going to change it up today?”

“I swear I look at that menu at least three times a week, thinking I’ll get something different… but I never do. I’ll take my usual with an extra shot of espresso, please.” Archer laughed and swiped her card before handing it back.

“It’ll be right out; I hope you have a good day!”

She moved towards the pick-up counter and quietly surveyed the coffee shop. The Stag had been one of her favorite places in Orynth since it opened a few blocks from the bookstore. The city had been through hard times, and it warmed her to the core to see downtown growing back towards its former glory.

Aelin scooped up her hazelnut and caramel latte and headed back out into the crisp morning air. Before long, she slid her key into the ornate lock of Present Tense. The smell of old books greeted her as stepped through and flipped the door sign, indicating the store was now open.

She stoked a small fire to life in the fireplace, not because it was cold but today just felt like it deserved a little more coziness than usual. The schedule today was slim, inventory had been done yesterday, no new book shipments were expected in, and school had just started back up, so she didn’t expect any customers in until mid-morning. Maybe she could start a new romance book she had heard so much about from her friends, she had selfishly tucked away the last copy a few days ago and refused to pull it out when a customer came in asking for it. She’d casually said there would be a shipment of new books in next week and to check back then.

Before. She’d had the chance to retrieve it from beneath the counter, she felt a faint vibration in her back pocket, signaling some sort of notification. She pulled out the phone and sighed, it was her boyfriend Chaol texting about something likely not important. They’d had a terrible fight a few days ago and she wasn’t ready to make nice. He’d tried several times to apologize and explain that he didn’t mean what he said. But they both knew he had. With a thud she set the phone on the counter and chose to read her book instead.

Gods, would people stop coming in here? Aelin silently begged as the store’s door opened for what had to have been the 50th time. Normally, she relished in customers and the opportunity to discuss literature or help them find their next read, but today, she just wanted to finish reading that godsdamned novel. After she’d picked it up this morning, she’d been unable to put it down and in a seemingly cruel twist of fate, had to do just that when a continual stream of customers started around lunch time.

With a resigned sigh, Aelin tucked away the book under the counter and got up to see if the new customer needed any help. “Hi, my name is Aelin, is there anything you’re looking for today, or just browsing?”

“Do I look lost?” the woman nervously asked followed by a small chuckle.

“Not really, but if you’re looking for something specific, I’d love to help. All these shelves can be a bit overwhelming, and I don’t think I’ve seen you in before,” Aelin replied, trying not to sound as though she was pressuring the woman. But her novel was there, waiting to be finished.

“You’re right. I haven’t been in here before, but the internet said this had the most expansive book selection in the city and I’m looking for a specific cookbook. I haven’t been able to find it anywhere else.”

Aelin tried best not to gloat, but pride won out—she wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to toot her own horn. “You’re correct. I pride myself on having the best inventory in all of Orynth; it was one of my main goals when I opened. The cookbook section is down that row and another two rows over. If you can’t find the book, let me know and I’ll see if I can’t order it.”

“Thank you.”

Aelin took the time to straighten out few books that were out of place after the busy afternoon, biding time until she could sit back down until and read her book, uninterrupted. With everything to her standards, she resumed her spot behind the counter. Barely ten minutes had passed, when the woman approached the counter.

“I didn’t find the cookbook I was looking for, but I did find two others I loved and a book on wildflower gardening.”

“What cookbook are you looking for? I can’t believe I don’t have. It. This is a first for me.”

The woman’s fair skin pinked up and she dropped her chestnut gaze from Aelin’s before she answered. “I’m looking for a cookbook called ‘Taste of Doranelle’. I know since it’s from another continent, that it’s probably hard to find. I’m hoping to learn a few recipes and surprise someone with some dishes. They let it slip they’re from there and well—I’m…. I’m just trying to impress them.”

The woman still hadn’t looked at her and seemed to be trying to hide her face behind her long, wavy brown hair. Aelin’s interested was piqued to say the least at this woman’s semi-embarrassing confession.

“I actually have a contact in Mistward who helps me get books from that area all the time! I can shoot him an email and let him know I need a copy. Do you want to leave your contact information and I can ring you when it comes in?”

“That would be great, thank you so much.”

“No problem. Just write it down here and hopefully you’ll hear from me soon.” Aelin finished ringing up the customer and gave a small wave goodbye as they left the store.

She looked down at the filled-out paper and noted how beautiful the woman’s handwriting was. Lyria Albrecht, 809-565-7890. Pretty name for a pretty woman, she thought to herself as she filled out the email to Bas inquiring after the book in question.

The clock in the bottom right of the screen showed she only had one hour left before she could close and that filled Aelin with glee. People hardly ever came into Present Tense at this time, and if they did, it was usually on the weekend. With a satisfied smirk, she pulled out the book and opened to where her bookmark lay:

He skimmed his hand up her arm, burning heat following everywhere he traced. Their faces were so close together, that it wouldn’t take much for them to brush lips. She desperately wanted him to close the distance, but if the smirk on his face was any indication, he was enjoying this cat and mouse game too much.

Trying to force his hand, she moved a hair closer, seeing what he would do. His hand stilled on her arm, telling her he wouldn’t continue if she stepped out of line again. She moved back, biting her lip, and hoping he would continue lighting her skin on fire. He seemed pleased that she understood she had no say in this game and he started skimming his fingers along her arm, up the side of her neck, and across her jaw, his thumb stopping on her bottom lip. She looked up into his eyes, willing—

“Hello?” an annoyed voice rang out, rather harshly, jarring Aelin from her book. Surprise gripped her body and she almost fell backwards from her stool, but instead dropped the book to steady herself.

Her face burned in embarrassment of not having a heard a customer come in, almost falling, but mostly because she’d been nose deep in what was sure to be a spicy scene. Trying to maintain what small shred of dignity she might have left in this moment, Aelin flashed a big smile and looked up, meeting a pair of extremely annoyed pine green eyes.

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taglist:

@rowanaelinn

#rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin au #throne of glass fic #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin #aelin x rowan #rowan #bookstore #rowaelin angst

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anthrofreshtodeath · 10 months

Note

Do you remember what the first smut you ever wrote was? And how did you get so confident in writing it (or was it always easier for you?) I am dabbling in some writing for the first time in my fandom life and I find a lot of it flows right out of me, but the smut?? Good christ I’m all over the place with it and don’t think I’m succeeding in what I’m actually trying to convey 😂😭 Do you have any tips?

Hmm… I think the first smut I wrote was when I was 19 for Alucard and Integra of Hellsing (the anime). I never posted it. It was bad.

And I hope I’m not bursting your bubble, but for me, the smut writing never really got easier 😂. I don’t really think my smut is all that good, so I may be the wrong person to ask. But like you, I struggle because it is very… choreographed. It’s like playing Tetris with your writing. The end result is supposed to be sexy, but the process is so technical as to be dry (at least for me).

But, with that said, I guess I have a few tips:

1) unless you’re writing PWP, try to give your smut a purpose. I’ll use CMWHS chapter 14 as an example - Jane and Maura are fucking, but Maura is using the fucking to punish Jane in a very particular kind of way that she knows will hurt Jane because Jane hurt her. So, successfully or not, it serves the plot. Once I know what I want the sex scene to do, then I plan out the acrobatics, LOL. Meaning what positions, what do they say to each other, etc.

2) just get the skeleton on the page. If you’re not sure of all the above, put a barebones placeholder down, like a sketch of how you want the scene to go, then return to it later after you’ve had time to think about it. Wow, lots of bones talk here, but I do this one all the time.

3) listen to music to get you in the right headspace! This doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me. Listen to sex music. Get a feel for what is sexy to you and to other people and draw inspiration from that. Notice I am not recommending a certain genre because sex music can mean different things to different people. Send an ask or a DM if you want to know specific artists or songs I listen to in order to get in the smut writing zone.

4) read other people’s work! This is so important for all types of writing, smut included. Well-rounded readers are better writers. Don’t copy, but draw inspiration.

5) Last one - don’t try to be too sexy. This is hard to explain and I’m not even sure I can articulate what I mean by it very well, but I’m going to try. Avoid porny language, the “oh yeah right there baby” stuff. The over the top, “her orgasm ripped through her” type of stuff. I think we’re all guilty of going there from time to time, myself totally included, but sex is a thing that real people do. Real people say real things and crack real jokes and express real emotions during sex. They say silly things, they say sexy things that you wouldn’t necessarily find conventionally sexy, but oh boy does it work for their partner(s). Write about what you find sexy, or what people have told you they find sexy, independent of what media tells us what we should think is sexy. Queer spaces are great for this. One thing I think is hot? When Jane Rizzoli crosses her arms and nods while Maura Isles is talking, all while she looks down at her, in a completely nonsexual context or conversation. I can take that body language and transpose it onto a sex scene, alter it a bit, and it works. It’s not, you know, them making out or moaning or getting bent over or whatever (those things can be hot too), but it feels more real because it’s true to character. I hope that made even the tiniest bit of sense 😂. Long story short I think the hottest smut is the smut that is unique to those characters, not just the smut that ticks all the kink boxes or gets all the conventional positions right. Though getting those boxes ticked can be fun too! When people combine the character development and the kinky boxes? God tier smut.

Like I said - probably not the right person to ask given my complicated relationship with my smut writing, but I hope this helped! If it wasn’t so awkward I’d do a “my favorite sex scenes and what I find successful about them” series of posts or something.

#ask anthrofreshtodeath #fic writing

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deadendsave · 1 year

Text

Pastor Adam Davis’ Journal (2023)

1: Today, I convinced another family to sell their home to the mayor’s development project. It wasn’t easy, but I reminded them that what my brother Michael plans for Millhaven is all in God’s plan. Them sacrificing a little for the greater good is what God would want. And besides, after the town is revitalized we’ll attract more wealthy residents who can donate to the church. I didn’t mention that to them though.

2: I had a meeting with Michael regarding the plans of the new megachurch. He’s promised to make it the biggest and most impressive church in the state. I can already envision the headlines: ‘Millhaven’s Pastor Leads Charge to Build Largest Church in Oregon.’

3: I approached Barbara today after Sunday service. She’s one of the few holdouts that won’t sell her property to Michael. I tried to convince her again, but she wouldn’t budge. It’s frustrating because I know his plans are what’s best for Millhaven. But I guess not everyone sees it that way. Maybe I’ll have to pray for her to see the light.

4: I can’t believe how much money the congregation has tithed already. Thanks to my persuasive sermons, even those who don’t have much are willing to give. My lifestyle isn’t cheap, and I need to continue to live comfortably so I can be a better pastor and inspire others. One day I’ll be a televangelist. The world will know my name.

5: I can sense the tension in the air every time I stand at the pulpit lately. Barbara is becoming more about her opposition to the mayor’s plans and is trying to turn the town against me. They all fail to see that our town must grow and evolve in order to attract new people and opportunities. Despite my efforts to explain this to them, they remain stubbornly resistant.

6: And then there’s the matter of the church, I know that tearing down the old building and replacing it with a new, modern one will be a huge undertaking, but it’s necessary if we want to keep up with the times.

7: It’s not easy being the pastor of the only church in town. I’m caught between my duty to my congregation and the loyalty of my brother. But I know what we’re doing is right. Millhaven needs to change. And if Barbara and her little group can’t see that, then they’re just standing in the way of progress.

8: The end times are here. A new plague is in the modern world: LHV. Maybe this is the moment when God will reveal himself to us, he’ll take the faithful up to heaven and leave the sinners to face the apocalypse. I’ve been preaching about the rapture for years, preparing the congregation. I fear I don’t know where I stand in God’s eyes. I’ve asked for forgiveness. I’m trying to do right by letting members into the church that seek refuge. I’ve got canned goods from the church’s food donations and we have armed security.

9: Michael is nowhere to be found. He’s attending some conference on the other side of the country. I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions, anger for him not being here to help me guide these people, and worry for his safety. I hope he’s okay out there, I’ve been praying for him.

10: I can’t help but feel like the outbreak is all my fault. God is punishing me for my sins and my family’s past. The mill, the gentrification. It was all for our personal gain. I’ve led the people astray, and now we are all paying the price. Every night, I pray for forgiveness and hope that somehow, someway, God will save us from this nightmare. It’s like the devil himself has taken over the world.

11: Many more people have come seeking shelter. It’s overwhelming. This situation is getting dire. We’re running low on food on water. I had to start rationing out supplies, but I fear it won’t be enough. I’ve tried to convince the people to just pray and have faith, but some are starting to lose hope.

12: I’ve been struggling with myself. I can’t help but feel guilty for hoarding some of the supplies for myself. I know it’s selfish, but I’m the leader. I have to stay strong to guide these people.

13: I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been hearing the cries of hungry children and it’s tearing me apart. I have to do something. I’m going to distribute the remaining supplies to the people. Maybe it’s not too late to make things right.

14: Today, even more people arrived at the church seeking shelter, but we simply didn’t have the capacity or resources to accommodate them all. It was heartbreaking to turn them away, but the safety of those already inside was my top priority. The refugees are upset with me, especially after I had to refuse families with young children.

15: Things have turned quickly. Those who once looked up to me are now against me. A man tried to attack me. He wasn’t one of the demons, he was just hungry and angry with me. An armed guard shot him. This made the other refugees panic. I knew they would all turn on me soon. I had to make the tough decision and order them all to leave. I said the guards would use force if they didn’t comply. It wasn’t safe to keep them here, I couldn’t risk my own survival.

16: I feel terrible about what happened. I was scared and only prioritized my own safety. I’m trying to be a better man, but I mess up every time. The demons attacked the people. It’s not entirely my fault that they got them: they should have been more careful and not gone against me. Still, it’s hard to shake off the guilt. I’m a pastor; I’m supposed to help people in need, not turn them away to their deaths. I hope I can be forgiven.

17: It’s hard to put into words the level of guilt and shame that has consumed me. I feel as everything I’ve done, every decision I have made, has been a mistake. I led the people of Millhaven astray, I allowed my brother to continue his unethical plans, and worst of all, I turned away the people seeking refuge in our church. I knew deep down would never make it out alive.

18: The guilt of my actions has become too much to bear. I can’t even bring myself to look at my own reflection in the mirror anymore. I’m a selfish, self conflicting hypocrite. I’ve made a decision, I can no longer live with the weight of my mistakes. I hope God forgives me. I’m sorry to those I’ve hurt, to those I’ve turned away, and to those whose lives have been lost because of me. This is my final entry. Goodbye. - Pastor Adam Davis

stray note, church basement:

As I write this, I can hear Pastor Davis preaching about how we must “sacrifice" for the greater good. But it's clear that his definition of “greater good" only applies to himself. He hoards the food and water while the rest of us go hungry. The children cry themselves to sleep every night. I hope the soldiers can clear the area, we all need to leave before we starve to death.

#he keeps writing about how much millhaven needs to change #because he’s trying to convince himself #that what him and his brother are doing is justified #suicide tw #millhaven journals

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