#fucking upper class
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"Montessori bed"....
You mean "mattress on the floor that I appropriated from a poorer culture that I thought was cute"?
#fucking upper class#when I have a mattress on the floor its all 'haha! POOR!'#but when YOU do it it's 'chique'#your infant needs a cage.... THATS WHY WE HAVE THEM#you can clearly afford the infant bed... if you couldn't you wouldn't be on TikTok talking about your 'Montessori bed'#people who cant afford the infant bed dont usually broadcast their situation because they're used to being shamed#real talk though#i dont think ill fuck with a bedframe... or a mattress for a long time... that shit is so expensive#ill just do the Japanese thing and put a mat on the floor in my home office or whatever#i wonder if its better for my back?
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unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.
Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.
and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.
(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)
Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self.
Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.
The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?
Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!
Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and—
Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—
You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...
What—when did you lose—
I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...
So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.
And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.
When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.
Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.
It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.
Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.
Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??
the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.
Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.
FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?
“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.
Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)
And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.
Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic, being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.
Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life.
Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.
Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.
Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.
It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal.
Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.
What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.
I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.
So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.
Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.
Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—
well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—
and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?
i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”
Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).
But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.
Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.
And then the partners change again, the moment ended.
Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.
Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.
Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.
Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.
needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.
Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.
Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )
Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?
And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?
Opening drabble
Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell)
Scene from the Uberwald Grand Sneer
#discworld#sam vimes#discworld au#nightwatch au#i literally drafted this post in December 2021#and i know it was living in my head for years already at that point#i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind#discworld fanfic#night watch#Let this be free from my mind#Perhaps someone else will write it#BE FREE ANCIENT AU OF MY SOUL#For all my obsession with discworld I have but this one (1) AU though it tears at me like the seam of a pair of pants#The songs I have permanently associated with this au are slightly bonkers by the way#My au#Seriously there's like two full novels worth of content up here. Sybyll running away from home and living as a commoner#To mirror Sam joining upper class in original timeline you see?#Some early discworld murder Wizard nonsense when they try to poke at the temporal anomaly and the universe goes brrrr#Eventually catching up with color of Magic city burning bs and vimes is mad as fuck#Weird year that never was protecting people during sourcery#And when we start catching up with where he left#Oh ho ho you can't to forward to something that doesn't exist but maybe you can go sideways to a place that's got a tear in it#A sam vimes shaped tear#And his pregnant wife from 30 years ago in the other trouser leg#AND that's not even mentioning how carcers trial got taken to a...higher court
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Peter Parker getting kidnapped in front of Nick Fury (who was keeping an eye on him because Peter’s way too suspicious for his own good) so now Peter has to act like a proper hostage instead of getting himself free or calling someone else he knows to come get him
#Spiderman#spider man#spider-man#peter parker#nick fury#upper lip is swollen I have no idea what the fuck is going on there#I wanna play the new update but I gotta get ready for class and stuff 😭😭😭
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No but why is Karen and Wally bonding over being the only not rich kids on the team everything—
It's literally giving me life. The Titans, Teen or otherwise, have a serious lack of grounded characters (and not in a 'no powers = grounded' way).
Wally has always been that character. He's always been the everyday, average normal guy living among billionaires royalty and demigods. (Which is wild because he should not be that normal with his power set and abilities)
Karen and Mal were also grounded characters in the og Teen Titans (which, again, was really needed cause Dick did shit like handing strangers thousands of dollars to keep quiet about his friend's antics and Roy went off and did shit like buying a bar on a whim at 16 and Donna and Garth had no concept of money or consequences) but unfortunately the series never really explored that aspect of their characters.
But now??? Now when Roy complains that Wally doesn't have a helipad at his house Wally doesn't have to 'Jim the camera'. Wally has a whole ass person to text this shit to!!! Karen can Snapchat Wally about how Donna thinks healthcare comes from purple laser beams and has zero concept of insurance. They aren't alone!!!
And honestly I love it so much.
#Vic is also super grounded#like Vics dad is upper middle class but at least he's still middle class#but unfortunately Vic and Wally never really got to bond over that??? insanity#kori raven donna and garth are all royalty#gar is an actor#roy dick and lilith are the kids of billionaires#and then theres just karen wally mal and vic#just super fucking normal#but for some reason there's only ever one of them on the team at a time??? like there's a quota on normal people or something#wild#anyway#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#wally west#karen beecher#bumblebee#teen titans#Titans#world's finest teen titans#actually you know what#i take it back#vic and wally did actually bond about this#just not in the titans series (which is why i didn't think about it). the bonded about it in the flash series#they actually were really good friends. so. i guess wally does have friends who understand how much a banana costs at the store
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elle and emmett from the legally blonde musical are one of those m/f couples that i think work best as a woman and a man purely because their relationship and how elle wouldn't stay at harvard for him because she has grown to want true respect & success more than a man she loves' approval/desire is like so important to the themes of the story and it's the whole point and it's part of what makes them so good. on the other hand emmett could be such a hot butch lesbian it's crazy i want to eat drywall when i think about emmett forrest but a butch lesbian BUT it simply would not improve and in fact would detract from the themes of the story. they have to be m/f
#chirps#tangentially. i think that a trans man casting for emmett would be really great for a lot of reasons#the scene of elle buying him really nice men's formalwear and finding clothes that he likes and feels good in...#'take it like a man' in general would have such another layer of meaning and love to it#anyway. there would be a really interesting dimension to their relationship in terms of elle embracing hyperfemininity & emmett being trans#and how their respective relationships with & presentations of gender impede them in the upper-class Professional world of harvard#man that'd be really cool... that would add soooo much to the show...#Emmett Forrest. You Must Be Transgender Now.#tbh thinking more. t4t f/m elle/emmett would be so incredible but also so fucking devastating for certain things. BUT THEY TRIUMPH!!!!!#<- all my tags aren't me trying for a 'best of both worlds' option wrt casting. just me thinking abt how the roles gender plays in this sho#and the ways different casting choices could shine light into different facets#the 2022 west end revival had them both as black which also is really great stuff i think... i wanna find a full boot for that
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maybe a controversial opinion but while i really love jiang cheng as a character he is deeply self-centered as a person. and seeing people fight tooth and nail claiming he isn't, or is just misunderstood, or that he has genuine valid reasons to be selfish when plenty of other characters make the difficult choice to forego status and opportunities for what they believe is genuinely right to do (read: wei wuxian, wen ning, wen qing, lan wangji, jiang yanli, mianmian, etc.)
it's just odd to me. especially if they're talking about the novels.
mxtx didn't give jiang cheng the name "sandu shengshou" as a quirky coincidence. there's a REASON she named him & his sword after the 3 poisons of Buddhism (specifically ignorance, greed, and hatred). it's crucial to the story that jiang cheng is NOT selfless and that wei wuxian IS.
it's important to accept that wei wuxian is, by their society's standards, not morally gray; he represents several Buddhist ideals in direct contrast of jiang cheng and multiple people attest to wei wuxian's strong moral character, which is a lot of why jiang cheng even feels bitter about him to begin with.
it's crucial, because by the end of the novel jiang cheng realizes the extent of this and begins to let go!
the twin prides thing wasn't jiang cheng wanting them to 100% mirror the twin jades. he does care about wei wuxian, but he wanted wei wuxian to stay his right hand man, in part the way wei changze was for jiang fengmian.
and if there's one thing you can notice about wei changze in the novels, it's that literally nobody talks about him. he is only ever mentioned when his cool mysterious mountain sect wife cangse-sanren is mentioned, or (even more rarely) when they discuss him as a servant to jiang fengmian. regardless of jiang fengmian's own feelings, wei changze was considered lesser to him and didn't seem to outdo him, since nobody's out there years later still waxing poetry about wei changze's skills.
it may not be the only thing jiang cheng wants out of a twin pride dynamic, but it is a big part of it. regardless of his parents' intentions in taking wei wuxian in and treating him certain ways, this twin pride right-hand man thing is what jiang cheng has felt owed since childhood. he gave up his dogs for wei wuxian, people gossip about his sect heir position with wei wuxian there... jiang cheng wants the reciprocation of what he views as personal sacrifices.
he is ignorant to the depth of what wei wuxian must've suffered for over 6 years as a malnourished orphan child on the streets. he hates how wei wuxian's intelligence, witty charm, and cultivation abilities are naturally stronger than his own. he does care about wei wuxian a lot and want them to be together as sort of-brothers, sort of-friends, sort of-young master and sect servant...
...but if it's between that unclear (yet still caring) relationship and being able to save himself just a little bit more, jiang cheng nearly always manages to clam up in the face of danger and choose the latter, which ultimately benefits himself most. maybe it's a stretch to call that sort of thing greed, but it certainly isn't selfless.
there are of course plenty of justifications for this. it's his duty as sect heir. his home and sect was severely damaged by the wen attack and subsequent war; he had to protect himself, etc.
but doesn't that prove the point?
wei wuxian may be charming, but in terms of pure social standing, he is lower and far more susceptible to being punished or placed in harm's way by people who have more power and money. to protect wei wuxian, yunmeng jiang's long-term head disciple and semi-family member, even in the face of backlash and public scrutiny would've been the selfless thing to do. this is what wei wuxian does for the wen remnants in the burial mounds.
jiang cheng does not choose this. it's not even an unreasonable choice for him to make! nobody else in the great clans is doing such a thing, stepping out of line to take on a burden that could weaken them in the long-run. wei wuxian himself doesn't hate jiang cheng for it; he lets go of these things and focuses on what good he can do in the present.
jiang cheng thinks further into the future - what would happen to him if he continued vouching for wei wuxian and taking his side? what about jiang cheng's face, his sect's face? would wei wuxian even care to reciprocate somehow? everyone expects him to cut off wei wuxian for being dangerous, for threatening his position, for...
do you see what i mean? to call jiang cheng selfless for falling in line with exactly what people expected him to do after the war is not only wrong, it's foolish.
"but they faked their falling-out!" okay. why fake it to begin with, except to protect jiang cheng and the jiang sect's own face? is that selfless? who does it ultimately serve to protect? wei wuxian canonically internalizes the idea that he stains all that he touches, including lan wangji, and agrees to the fake fight because he doesn't want to cause the jiang sect harm. regardless, it eventually slides into a true falling-out, and in the end jiang cheng is more or less unscathed reputation-wise while wei wuxian falls.
that isn't selfless. it's many things! it's respecting his clan and his ancestors, it's making a good plan for the future of his sect and cultivation... but it isn't a truly selfless in the interest of what's right rather than in the interest of duty and what's good for him and his family lineage.
that brings me to my next point: even though wei wuxian hid the truth of the golden core transfer, jiang cheng spent nearly 20 years believing that the golden core "renewal" he was given was a birthright gift of wei wuxian's from baoshan-sanren, an immortal sect teacher of wei wuxian's mother's and a martial elder to wei wuxian.
of course we all know that's a big fat lie, but jiang cheng believed that wei wuxian gave up a critical emergency use gift to him for decades! he was lied to, yes, but jiang cheng immediately agreed without even needing to be convinced. the light in his dead eyes came back with hope the moment wei wuxian even said baoshan-sanren's name. he accepted wei wuxian's offer to give that up to him and take it via identity theft without missing a beat.
with how mysterious and revered baoshan-sanren is, that's obviously not a light sacrifice to just give up to anyone, no matter how close they might be to you. pretending to be wei wuxian to take the gift could even be considered dangerous. what if she found out and got offended? could wei wuxian be hurt by that?
jiang cheng doesn't even hesitate. wei wuxian is the one who mentions that if jiang cheng doesn't pretend to be him, the immortal master could get angry and they'd both be goners. and funnily enough, the day they do go to "the mountain", jiang cheng is the one worried and suspiciously wondering if wei wuxian was lying to him or had misremembered.
of course they've both been traumatized like hell prior to this point. but still: it speaks to how broken he was at the moment as well as to his character overall.
i digress: jiang cheng "gets his golden core back" via what he believed was a gift that should've been wei wuxian's to use in serious emergencies. rather than use it for himself, wei wuxian risked his own safety and gave it to jiang cheng... and jiang cheng still ends up embittered and angry, believing that wei wuxian is arrogant and selfish.
if he truly views them as 100% brothers and equals with no caveats, why would he think that way? it's not like he needs to grovel before wei wuxian for doing that, or to reciprocate... but this is what i mean when i say jiang cheng feels he is owed things by wei wuxian. wei wuxian's actions hold a very different weight in jiang cheng's mind, and jiang cheng himself doesn't ever act the same way, except once.
is it wrong for him to feel like he is owed something? it depends. many asian cultures, including my own, feel that a person owes their family in ways that may not make sense to westerners. for example, it's considered normal for a child to owe their parents for giving birth to them, or to other caretakers for feeding, clothing, sheltering, educating them, etc.
however, something like verbally saying "thank you" or "i'm sorry" to family is considered crazy- why would you owe that? you're supposed to inconvenience your family; saying thank you or sorry is the sort of thing you say to a stranger or acquaintance. i get half-seriously lectured by my elders on this a lot even now, even though they know such phrases are just considered good manners in the US.
this muddies up the idea of wei wuxian being jiang cheng's family vs his family's charge or servant even more. jiang cheng wants wei wuxian to be close... but ultimately doesn't really choose to use what power he DOES have to protect wei wuxian. he considers himself still owed something that in his mind wei wuxian flagrantly never repays.
this isn't even getting into how despite spending a majority of his time with the yiling patriarch he never once noticed that wei wuxian stopped using any spiritual power-based cultivation. even lan wangji, who met them far more rarely, realized that something was wrong and that wei wuxian had taken some sort of spiritual damage, hence the "come with me to gusu".
of course manpain is fun and i'm not immune to the juicy idea of them reconciling and talking things out... but jiang cheng is deeply mired in his own desire to be "above" wei wuxian in multiple ways, and doesn't realize the extent of wei wuxian's actions, the intentions behind them, and the consequences wei wuxian knowingly faced for them.
to not recognize this about jiang cheng, especially in the novels, is really revisionist if you ask me. i reiterate that i really do like him a lot. he's flawed, angry, traumatized and has poor coping mechanisms, an overall fascinating character... but he is not selfless nor ideal, and i seriously draw the line at people saying he is.
wen ning shoves this all into his face at lotus pier to disastrous results. it is the reason why jiang cheng's a total mess at guanyin temple, and the reason jiang cheng ultimately doesn't tell wei wuxian about the fact that he ran towards the wens on purpose.
for that one last act of his to have really been selfless, he needs to not seek anything in return. he did it purely because it was right to do to protect someone else. if that means wei wuxian never finds out about it, so be it.
that moment that ended up causing jiang cheng irreversible harm is not a debt that wei wuxian owes him. it hurts, but no matter how bitter it is, that realization is so important to him changing in the future.
#keri chats#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#jiang cheng#long post#this is NOT anti/crit for him btw i like him a lot i just feel like nobody interprets him the way i perceive him#which even then my interpretation is p nebulous... worth saying i also heavily disagree w ppl who think of him as an evil shithead#he's upper class & steeped in jianghu politics/self preservation. flawed as hell human being but they're all war criminals lbr it's#Magical Genocide and War Crimes: The Novel#anyway this post is messy as fuck but if u read all of it: thank u. if u agree with me: ilu. i wish more ppl understood revenge ethics#as they stand in asian cultures and history vs in western (almost always culturally christian) cultures#it's unclear how far in the future the extras are but at one pt he's ''the same as ever'' which at best indicates slow emotional growth#and like. ykw? i don't think he'll be repressed bitter angry thinking abt his losses n pain forever. i think he can grow i believe in him#i have so many thoughts on this i could've made this post go on forever augh
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"The outer reaches of space remain unexplored by humankind to this day, but its greed is relentless. We grasp and yearn and hunger for knowledge— answers to questions we cry out into the endless void expecting to understand, expecting the stars to respond. The stars will not, but one day something else will— and we will not like what it has to say." — Rome Solomon, Beyond the Exosphere (1965)
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#obscura#edit:rome#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#ok so. ok hi. red and i made a new universe hi. sorry. morris quincy victor and eleanor belong to them the rest belong to meee :3#the pictures i used are basically the patron saints of their occupation / line of work! so that's not what they look like#anyway it's a mix of paranormal stuff + lovecraftian horror + sort of zombies :^)#they're like. the domains of lucifer (demons) behemoth (zombies) and leviathan (the eldritch horrors that happen in space and oceans)#who are like. the three evils that torment the mortal realm#it's all in a historical setting kind of parallel to our world? so a bunch of historic events are the same but it's like#a little bit more advanced with technology but at the same time it's not. it's Just A Little Different y'know#rome's sister went to space for a mission and just straight up went missing which prompts him to become an astronomer#and he's the first one to start speculating the existence of leviathan as eldritch god#morris is a technician at the academy who has an angel stuck in his computer#eve is a nun and herbalist who witnesses the influence of behemoth firsthand through some sick travelers#that she and the other nuns of her convent take care of#anatoly and quincy are both from different space missions who end up as the only survivors who are not basically a plant#the other two survivors have secretly been replaced with some sort of parasites. annihilation style if you've seen that movie#eleanor is a demonologist and works together with her brother victor who's her cameraman#clarence is a blind psychic who lost her sight because of an angel trying to warn her and in return got her psychic abilities#and lazarus is one of the two most famous demonologists in the world but his wife (the other one) passed away#so now he's alone and since he's not from an upper class family like his wife was he's not all that loved as she was#there's a lot going on but it's SO fucking fun to work on so far. feel free to send any asks i would love to explain more :^)#if you've made it this far also hi i love you. kiss for you
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I dont know who needs to hear this- but self-care doesn't have to begin, or be,- skin care, nails, lashes/brows, workouts, hair care, etc, or any other "aesthetically pleasing" "glowup"- and I'm just gonna say it- other buzz words that usually rely on societal beauty standards and buying products to fix your life.
what self-care starts with is you, what actually brings you happiness. self-care starts with finding your happiness.- because happiness leads to contentment, which leads to joy.- and once you find that, so much more can fall into place for you, and you won't feel like you have to "fix" your life as much as you'll want to improve and grow in your life- for you.
-taking care of your body is so important. but I fucking hate as someone who struggles with self-worth and productivity limiting mental health issues and going on to what should be open-minded and diverse tags and being flooded with male gaze-i-fied gatekeeping ideas on what makes someone an "it girl".
#h#FUCK BEING AN “IT GIRL”. YOU ALREADY ARE. YOU JUST GOT TO TAP INTO WHAT MAKES YOU YOUR OWN “IT GIRL”.#FUCK HOW OTHERS VIEW YOUR BEAUTY- HOW DO YOU WANT OTHERS TO VIEW AND REMEMBER YOUR HEART?#and how do you view your own heart?#ps!! i really do not mean to attack anyone here#i'm just tired of all the times I've seen posts preaching self-improvement#and its 3 pictures of skinny- face/body filtered- upper class- expensive workout clad- white girls 💀#broad term ik but i think that paints the problem I'm pointing out that i see lol#to each their own tho fr /gen#manifesting#master manifestor#self concept#self care#self improvement#it girl energy#it girl aesthetic#it girl lifestyle#clean girl#pink pilates princess#that girl#becoming that girl#glow up
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pulling an uno reverse on my father by trying to use his religion to manipulate him into putting a down payment on a car for us 🙏
#he hasnt provided us a cent in 10 years . so godly of him#he and his wife have 3 nice cars for 2 people. we had 1 old clunker for 5 of us and now have none#we are struggling so much and those demons live a nice life in their cozy upper middle class suburb#i should literally steal his truck he doesnt fucking use it
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people who hate on nemona because she's "too yandere" and "doesn't take a no for an answer" make me wonder if they actually payed attention to her dialogues or only read those joke comics about her being obsessed with the player and always craving violence and said "yeah this is her personality now". or just hate women.
#''she's too yandere!'' you don't know what yandere means then#''she doesn't accept a no for an answer!'' she repeatedly accepts you refusing to battle her through the whole game#she just gets insistent when you say you don't passed the league test#(because she truly believed you were so strong you would pass easily)#and when you tell her you don't want to be rivals (she though you liked battling her and wanted a friend to share her passion with)#''she's so weird!'' my brother in arceus this is pokémon EVERYBODY is weird as fuck#''she only talks about battling!'' and arven almost always talk about food and kieran always talked about ogerpon in kitakami#but i've seen nobody complaining about these two#wonder why#and nemona talks about other thinks beside battling!#she has Lore (TM) too#she has health issues despite her trying to shrug them off#she lived in a very rigid upper-class family where she's implied to have felt repressed#her own family pays more attention to her sister because she's going to be the heir of their corporation leaving nemona neglected#she doesn't have friends because her passion to pokémon battles alineates her from her classmates#if she defeats you in your first battle she gets depressed and says sorry because she believes she scared you away from being her friend#she's such a complex character but her background is more subtle than with arven or penny (and locked behind the postgame)#it saddens me that she's flanderized by literally everyone (even gamefreak/tpc in sv's epilogue)#pokemon#ramblings
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went to a party hosted by one of my spouse's older coworkers in their very nice house with their very nice food and their very nice socially normal acquaintances friends and family and it was fascinating for the way it made me realize that i can still feel like an awkward teenage fuckup even though i'm 38.
and then i went to a friend's birthday party and we drank cheap beer and talked about supernatural and cards against humanity and stupid work bullshit while a gaggle of children shrieked and chased each other in the other room and that was, like, way more peaceful
#there is a certain level of civilization beyond which i become a feral cat#and it is 'everything is expensive neat and aesthetic and i'm pretty sure you're all republicans'#or just#it's not high society but just a specific level of upper middle class with social norms that are fucking impenetrable to me
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Socmed discussions about Saltburn, to me —
1) reveal that people are even more squeamish about explicit gay sexuality than they think they are
(And if this is what passes for shocking erotic excess, then we, in the anglosphere, are in a more — not making a comment about individuals here — restrained moment with mainstream American/British adult cinema than we were with mainstream adult heterosexual cinema in the 90s, eg the erotic thriller)
And
2) suggest people are increasingly making art that is in conversation with, if not explicitly nostalgic for, the 2010-16 Tumblr-era.
(I really truly suspect Saltburn is, in part, an adaptation of the tropes and aesthetics that were in certain “The Social Network” fan spaces.)
#Saltburn is a period piece of this very specific very Anglophile tumblr moment#that specifically was obsessed with poshness and the upper class (usually more or less aristocratic) of the UK#much of the tumblr cultural backlash to that moment (eg the British accent jokes now; the food jokes)#is just USAmericans getting embarrassed over having prostrated themselves at the uncaring altar of British old money#and in response to that embarrassment these USAmericans I guess just started shitting on poor British class signifiers (eg usually a lot of#the mockery is about northerners esp northern women)#which is really just a continuation of tasteless American passes at being ‘above’ the poor brits they’re mocking to align with the landed#and titled of the UK#which lol they hate you just like they hate the poor British!! silly silly silly attempt to appear worldly#and to be clear my comments are about a specific kind of American-Brit beef between white tumblr users#and none of the conversation is meaningfully about British colonialism or American cultural or literal imperialism#or even about anglocenticism in general#j realize this a lot to write about something that can be boiled down to : specious and inane comments r being made by the stupidest of the#site from the imperial core of the world#and it’s usually between users who have no fucking business making class jokes#because critically the experiences they’re mocking are so removed from any struggle for survival they’ve had — on both the USA and UK side
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genuine question @ ppl who think izzy is poor/ lower class:
why
fr tho im not trying to start a fight here i just want to know where this take is coming from. i've seen people state that izzy is poor/working class like this is an immutable fact of canon, but from what i can see, izzy might have a poor background, but we don't know enough about his past to say for sure. and he's definitely not poor now, during the events of season 1. he's not a wealthy aristocrat like stede, but he's definitely made a comfortable living working with ed. (financially comfortable, at least. i imagine life on a 1717 pirate ship is physically uncomfortable no matter how successful a pirate you are)
like if anyone knows why this take is so common let me know but i DO want to talk specifically with the people who believe this abt izzy. i honestly do not want to start discourse i just want to Understand
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd meta#izzy hands#ofmd izzy#ofmd israel hands#dizzy izzy#txt#mine#og#meta#like izzy's strict demeanor/punishment tactics read more like he has a middle/upper-middle class military background imo#(if middle class was even a thing in 1717 idk. fuck historical accuracy lmao)#and that would also sort of explain why he pushes so hard for ed to portray a certain type of violent + toxic masculinity#but idk maybe i missed something?? i havent read an explanation for this take on izzy ive just seen this stated as if it's 100% canon#if explanations for this take were going around a few months ago i missed them and i dont want to go digging thru random blogs#but nobody i follow seems to think this
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i just know because of the shitty middle aged woman demographic Amanda Abbington is going to do well on strictly come dancing, but i really hope however well she does Layton Williams does better so young LGBTQ+ people can see that they’re allowed to turn up, to take up space to be present and seen. We’re allowed to win because fuck hate
#strictly come dancing#i don’t even watch the show#i’m just pissed that a terf is getting airtime on prime time television#Layton Williams#amanda abbington#fuck terfs#fuck amanda abbington#lgbtq rights#be seen#be proud#trans rights are human rights#i hope a gay black man wins#and all the upper class white women fucking hate it#bbc strictly come dancing#british tv#british reality tv#fuck hate#i will not stop going on about this until she’s out of the competition#stop giving hateful people airtime
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the craziness of this is gonna go over a lot of people's heads bc the uni grading system here is weird but i not only just found out i passed my resit (the one i had like. an actual meltdown about) BUT i also averaged second year with a 2:1 overall. for a degree i hate and am bad at. upper second class honours. i genuinely have resigned myself to an inevitable 2:2 AT BEST with this degree to the point i didnt even LOOK at 2:1. i had to google it to check i had the grade boundaries right bc i was so sure ME of all people couldn't have scraped that. what the fuck
#im literally shaking. i feel nauseas but in a good way. what the fuck#like second year is worth 1/3 of my overall grade and i got a 2:1. a TWO FUCKING ONE. HELLO#yeah i know it's not a first i know there are people who would view this as a disappointment i have FRIENDS who would be gutted with a 2:1#but i genuinely am just trying not to FAIL this degree. that's how low my standards are. and im 20% above failing#it's not by the skin of my teeth like it has been for TWO FUCKING YEARS NOW. it's not even a 2:2. it's a 2:1 BABY!!!!!!!!#shouting my nut off this is INSANE#UPPER SECOND CLASS HONOURS??? THAT'S LITERALLY GOOD?? LIKE UNIVERSALLY NOT JUST BY MY LOW STANDARDS??#IF I TOLD PEOPLE I OVERALL GOT A 2:1 IN AN ECONOMICS DEGREE THEY WOULD ASSUME I WAS /GOOD/ AT IT#THAT'S HOW CRAZY BANANAS THIS IS. HELLO. oh here comes the imposter syndrome HOW DID I FUCKING DO THAT#hella goes to uni
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Anyway the greatest weapon against anti-intellectualism is breaking down the taboo of “asking questions proves you’re dumb and smart people should already know this”. I know that questions can wear you down and questions asked in bad faith don’t need to be answered but the greatest bullshit in history has been by people who won’t question their beliefs because they’re scared of looking ignorant.
#anti intellectualism#anti intellectualism has too often been used as a 'people should just listen to me because i'm better' and fuck that#it's not about creating a single knowledgeable upper class that everyone else obeys#it's about spreading knowledge to everyone#if you're working in your field you don't have to use layman's terms but you can't take tat addition with an actual layman
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