Cisgender Presentation Flags

Masculine Cis Woman flag¹ | Feminine Cis Woman flag²

Feminine Cis Man flag³ | Masculine Cis Man flag⁴

"there is no way to define "woman" without leaving out some cis women" so how do you define "cis woman" then? if you're so sure about who is and who isn't a cis woman, your definition of "cis woman" is my definition of "woman" :)

The world would be a better place if cis people understood the concepts of gender euphoria and dysphoria as things that everyone experiences, not just trans people.

The woman is not wearing makeup and a short skirt for male attention. She is doing that because it gives her gender euphoria as a woman.

On a more serious note, if a man doesn't feel comfortable to wear a pink shirt; eat a pink ice cream; listen to a female singer who is popular; express his feelings; drink fruity juices; hold his girlfriend's purse; say certain words; act with kindness towards his loved ones; apologize; deescalate conflict; watch a movie enjoyed by women; play with a small and fluffy animal; because he thinks these things make him look girly, less manly or "nor a real man", that is no way to live. That man is experiencing intense levels of gender dysphoria and he needs help.

I feel like people only look at men like that and laugh and call them sexist. Some of them might be and they need to be called out for it, but I feel like gender dysphoria is very common in cis men and we should be calling it what it is.

A cis man doesn't "feel uncomfortable" when he paints his nails for the first time, he gets dysphoric. Just like the cis woman who wears jeans during summer because she forgot to shave her legs and is embarassed about it.

Dysphoria happens to cis people, All. The. Time. Pass the message on.

"girls support girls-" okay but are you normal about queer women? are you normal about BIWOC? are you normal about disabled women? are you normal about autistic women? are you normal about fat women? alternative women? unattractive women? are you normal about women who choose not to shave their legs and armpits and faces? are you normal about butches and tomboys and masculine women? are you normal about trans women? are you normal about trans men? are you normal about nonbinary folk and people who lie outside the gender binary or renounce gender all together? are you normal about women who absolutely despise and detest the latest trends? are you normal about weird women who unsettle you with their interests? are you normal about women who don't wear makeup, who will never wear makeup, who openly dislike makeup and the makeup industry?

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

possibly a long-shot, but could anyone possibly point me in the direction of some resources on sewing that focus on either “mens” clothing, or more gender neutral stuff? it feels like all the beginner patterns and books i can find have skirts and dresses as their main focus, which i certainly won’t wear, and none of the women in my life tend to wear that sort of stuff either, and it feels like a waste to make a bunch of skirts for practice just for them to get chucked in the back of a wardrobe. any recommendations for online resources (youtube, blogs, etc) or physical books would be very welcome. thanks!

i cant believe i wasn't following u b4,,,,,ive just been silently scrolling through your blog for like a solid YEAR and just haven't even noticed????? n e ways what are tha thoughts on literally anyone in p4 being trans bc i live for that 🎤

the way my brain decided that this was asking for pronoun headcanons and did not reread to make sure that was what you were asking before drawing all of this…... well anyways

not to be a woman womaning all over the place but i feel like if you genuinely like. do not have friends that are women then you have something to work on. if you cant think of any female characters that you treat the same way you do male characters then you have something to work on. if you cant handle even seeing "i dont like being called a guy/bro/lad/etc because it doesnt feel gender neutral to me" but can understand when one of your masc besties is uncomfortable with being called girlie or sister then you have something to work on. if your default in regards to how you handle other people and even characters is to assume masculinity then you have something to work on. if you cant even let women and otherwise feminine people speak about our experiences without bringing up how you suffer too then you have something to work on.

it doesnt matter if youre queer or a poc or a minority in whatever which way, if you do not include women in your life and cant even stand a fucking inch of genuine feminism (and i dont mean terfs but god is it fucking agonizing that thats all you people can think of when you hear feminism anymore) where the point is to treat women, all women, equally then you have something to work on. listen to women, even the ones whose experiences completely dont align with yours (hell ESPECIALLY the ones whose experiences completely dont align with yours). just like how we all have to check ourselves for racism, ableism, queerphobia, we all have to check ourselves for misogyny too. stop acting like it got solved at some point. it still exists and it exists within you and you have to actually fucking work on that. "women should be included in your life and you should listen to them" shouldnt be a hard goddamn pill to swallow.

There truly isn't a universal answer to what a man and woman "is" and that's where the whole "well, tell me what a man is if you say you are one" spiel falls apart for me. In trying to answer it, you fail to see that gender is not something to be understood empirically - it isnt something you can analyze like you might a hard scientific phenomenon, but gender something that is a tool. Gender is (one) of the languages we use to communicate to others, so like language, there is nuance.

My version of manhood* is one which differs from another man's. We use similar language to describe our malehood, perhaps, but much like language, we will have different dialects which we use. If I were to try to answer what a man "is," I will be informed by my own manhood* and the manhood my culture deems desirable. This is inherently exclusionary because it relies on myself and my culture to be the only "right" ones. I refuse to play this social game because it relies on this exclusionary mindset. Gender is what we humans make of it, and there simply cannot be an "answer" to the question as to what men and women "are." It varies culture to culture, by religion, by race, by a history of colonialism, even, and all of this is ignored, downplayed, and erased, essentially, when one acts like there is a universally-applicable answer to what a gender "is".

The bittersweet nature of "passing" as a trans person

I have no regrets in my transition except this one thing which i find it hard to express bcs i dont wanna sound ungrateful for being a passing trans person.

my disclaimer to this post is: it is hard to be a non passing trans person and non passing trans people are far more vulnerable than passing trans people. Also passing is not every trans persons goal. Although it is one of my goals in my transition im not saying "i have it now i regret it" im just gonna say kinda like. a sadder side to passing.

pre T i would say i passed like 60% of the time to cis ppl and when i wasnt seen as a dude theyd always either ask my pronouns or like ask my gender (i live in a pretty liberal place). i was quite rarely out and out just misgendered like maybe 5% of the time in the basically 7 years i lived as a pre T trans person (not including ppl who misgendered me on purpose) but i was sooo clocky to trans people like i am a v socially awkward guy but i found it easy to make trans friends when i met trans people irl when i was pre T bcs they mostly knew and we kinda were drawn together.

Im now a year and 8 months on T and i love passing i pass genuinely 100% of the time even when im not binding (and i have a larger chest that im very dysphoric about) and i have a cis passing voice. I often have a lot of like. not imposter syndrome about it but i have bad dysphoria and often assume im not gonna pass when i do or assume i look more like a girl than i do. Also im 5'3 and have kinda long hair (not long but i used to have it super short and now its a bit longer) but im just seen as a cis guy. so like i am not pretending i dont love passing it makes my life soo much easier and lessened my dysphoria.

What i will say is i miss the immediate kinship of meeting another trans person or being in the same room as another trans person and both knowing ur trans or becoming friends bcs ur trans or automatically having someone to pair up w in a group of strangers bcs u both know ur trans. Also on nights out i miss meeting new ppl and just talking to each other about being trans bcs we automatically recognise each other. like i miss the solidarity u feel as a trans person when u seen another one rather than trans ppl assuming im cis and me actively making an effort to mention im trans around new trans ppl. also i miss that trans ppl used to feel automatically safe around me whereas now i know bcs im perceived as a cis man sometimes they feel on edge. idk its just bittersweet i think <3

the thing abt slur discourse is it is stupid and useless. just yesterday in a history of sexuality class we were reading an article by a gay man in the 80s and in this academic piece he referred to people as faggots and dykes and talked abt their reclamation and how straight people see them as dirty words etc

and like half this class of cis queer girls was fucking livid that he used dyke at all and one girl goes "and he only focused on feminine men and masculine women- the faggots and dykes. not all queer women are DYKES!" with such disgust when she said dykes. like my sister in christ you just used it as a slur waaaaay moreso than he did. be so serious.

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

it just bewilders me that anyone could write a character as perfect as julian and then so obviously begin to hate him. it's so weird how much open unabashed contempt these writers have for the character their game is basically about.

i've said this before but i think that the prologue was written for a different version of the game, before the team decided to make julian the heel to asra's face and the butt of every joke. "a gift from a witch who fears commitment" was so obviously meant to be foreshadowing for a major plot point, but they just hand-wave it away in the story with like two lines of dialogue and a prayer.

"no, no, that was a red herring!!" no it wasn't. julian himself is already the red herring, making his implied backstory another red herring is the definition of a hat on a hat. asra and julian were clearly written for asra to be the bad guy in the asrian divorce, but then someone (everyone? i don't know) vetoed it because god fucking forbid we make asra look like an asshole even once.

asra is the writers' favorite and it's extremely obvious. he basically has no flaws, to the point of legit cliche. oh mc my only flaw is loving you TOO much. so even though julian is already written with a very clear archetype of "guy who hates magic because he got his heart broken by a witch" that comes through in basically everything about him, they have to paper over it in the story because we can't make asra look mean!

so they just make up for their shitty coverup writing by being like haha isn't julian silly? he was wrong about everything and he doesn't like magic hehe haha. leeches! meanwhile the bones of the characters they actually wrote are in asra too, because it's clear he's meant to have his "villain moments," he's meant to have sharper edges and even be scary, but someone decided that he has to be an uwu softboy and ruined him in the process.

as always i am not looking for a debate, i will block you.

Might fuck around and start occasionally he/him-ing myself. Let the record show my pronouns are still she/they, im just saying shit

Begging begging begging people to stop throwing around the definition and terms of "non-man loving non-man" and "non-woman loving non-woman" because you are literally opening up the door to so many flavors of transphobia and nonbinary + multigender erasure

It's just another false binary to force nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, multigender and otherwise similar people into, all while erasing and ignoring the nuances of any gender identity - but especially our own

And it needs to STOP

Going to visit the more conservative side of my gf's family who she's 0% out to sucks but it's also kinda funny bc like. I only have three presentation modes I can possibly pass as: turbodyke, genderfucker, or cis man. I can't look like the first one around that side of her family since she's not out as a woman to them so my presentation automatically loops back around to one of the other two in trying to avoid it, and since I'm specifically trying to NOT look queer it usually means I get read as a cis man—which completely defeats the purpose bc then I get people asking if I'm her gay boyfriend. Last time we were preparing to visit them I put on an unassuming T-shirt and jeans, looked in the mirror, and just told her "I don't think I'm beating the gay boyfriend allegations"