#faunus!jaune
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Rabbit Papa Arc: And remember my dear son, predators faunus especially wolves are some of the most dangerous faunus that exist for us, stay away from them for your own good.
Bunny Jaune: Understood, dear father. I will have careful.
Years later in Beacon.
Jaune (Seeing Faunus Wolf Ruby in the distance): How can she be a danger to us?! Have I been living a lie all this time?!
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Wolf Ruby: *Curls up on Jaune's lap*
Jaune: *starts scratching behind her ear*
Ruby: *contented sigh*
------
Cat Weiss: *Curls up on Jaune's lap*
Jaune: *About to pet her*
Weiss: I warn you, if you do not pet me at the exact speed, strength, and place that I want, I will scratch you.
Jaune: ...
#rwby#rwby shitpost#war of the roses#lancaster#white knight#jaune arc#ruby rose#weiss schnee#wolf!faunus ruby#cat!faunus weiss
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....mousegirl weiss/ruby? please?
Ta-daa!
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Ruby: Why are you pulling your pants dow-
Ruby: IS THAT PEANUT BUTTER?
~~~~~
Jaune: There's no laws against the Wolf Faunus, Xiao Long!
Yang: NO! DON'T DO THAT JAUNE!
Jaune: Guess what I'm gonna do Yang?
Yang: NO JAUNE! SHE'S STILL A BABY JAUNE!
Jaune: SHe's Eighteen Yang! I'M GONNA DO IT!
Yang: NNNNNOOOOOO!
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Nora: Does anyone here know how to work an MRI machine?
Jaune: I can't but I bet Blake could.
Blake: What? Why do you think I could?
Jaune: Because when it comes to running an MRI Dogs can't, but Catscan.
Blake: ...
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Knock Knock
Blake: *Opens Door* Ruby?
Dog!Faunus Ruby: *Holding Several Pamphlets* Hi! Miss Belladonna, is it? So nice to meet you!
Blake: …Ruby, you live here. You already know who I am.
Ruby: You’re absolutely right! Let’s skip introductions, shall we? *Clears Throat* So, I’m going from door to door to see if anyone’s interested in becoming Jaune’s pet today.
Blake: Ruby, is this some sort of attempt of yours at starting a cult centered around Jaune? …Again?
Ruby: Amazing question, you’re such a good girl.
Blake: *Ear Twitches* Go on…
Ruby: So basically, you become Jaune’s lap-dog, or lap-cat in your case, and you get to enjoy all kinds of benefits!
Blake: Benefits?
Ruby: You get to sleep around him whenever you want, he takes you on walksies, helps clean your ears, feeds you…
Blake: He feeds you?
Ruby: Oh yeah! His strawberry shortcake is to die for, believe me. OH! Remember that fancy tuna dish our teams had at our last get-together?
Blake: *Profusely Sweats* Yes…?
Ruby: Jaune cooked it himself. Family recipe, he says.
Blake: *Licking her Lips* Wait, *Shakes Head* You don’t take issue over the fact that he will be spending time with me?
Ruby: I thought so too at first, but I soon realized that Jaune deserves all the love he can get! More so than lil’ ol’ me could ever provide. Besides, we are just friends!
Blake: Uh, hum… Look, I’m sure this is nice and all, but I will admit this is a little weird even for me. And considering the type of stuff I’m into, that is saying something. Sorry, but my answer is no. *Grabs Doorknob*
Ruby: WaitwaitWAIT!
Blake: …What?
Ruby: Head pats.
Blake: …H-Head pats?
Ruby: Every. Single. Day.
Blake: *Both Ears Twitch* …On second thought, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.
Ruby: Amazing! Now before you sign up, would you like to hear a few encouraging words of our sponsor, Mama Arc?
#rwby#rwby shitpost#ruby rose#blake belladonna#jaune arc#lancaster#knightshade#ruby x jaune#blake x jaune#dog!faunus ruby#cat!faunus blake#Isn't she already a cat Faunus?#Shut up
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Jaune: (Carrying laundry basket)
Pyrrha: (In the closet)
Jaune: (Sets basket down)
Pyrrha: (Leans out, Low to the floor)
Jaune: (Bends over)
Pyrrha: (Pounces)
Jaune: AGH! Pyrrha?! Did you just bite my butt?!
Pyrrha: (Mouthful of Arc ass cheek) Uuuurh... Nurgh?
Jaune: ...
Fun Fact! Tigers are ambush predators and will lie in wait for their prey. On securing their prey, they will drag off hundreds of feet into thickets to safely feed. Prey is usually held and dragged by the neck, through the tiger's legs. Usually, tigers will start their meal from the rump.
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Wolf Ruby: Jaune, can I ask you something.
Jaune: Yeah?
Ruby: *Puppy dog eyes* Am I cute and breedable?
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Jaune the only human in school
Jaune: wow look at this place it’s huge
Yang (cow Faunus): oh ya my girls are
Ruby (wolf Faunus): yang he will be my mate
Blake (still a cat): no arc-sama will belong to the belladonnas
Weiss (swan Faunus): no the elegant schnees shall be the ones to get the prized human male
Pyrrha (fox Faunus): hi jaune
Jaune: oh Pyrrha right my mom said you’d be here
Nora (bear): look renny a human maybe if we catch him he’ll give us his pot of gold
Ren (snake): Nora that’s leprechauns not humans
Nora: oh right
#jaune arc#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#ruby rose#nora valkyrie#lie ren#weiss schnee#jaune the human#rwby pyrrha nikos#all the students are Faunus
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Rabbit Jaune: Hey guys, I was thinking that now that we don't have any homework to do, we could have a picnic.
Nora: What?! No, no, no, no, no.
Ren: And no, unless Ruby or Pyrrha, who are busy right now, are there, we're not going to have a picnic.
Jaune: Why not?
Nora: Do you remember the last time we had a picnic without Ruby or Pyrrha?
Flashback
Jaune, Nora and Ren were enjoying a nice afternoon in the park enjoying their picnic.
Jaune: Please pass me the egg salad.
Out of nowhere wild faunus fox Neopolitan appears and takes Jaune away.
Jaune: Aaaaah, someone help me!
While Ren and Nora continue eating quietly.
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Jaune: Sorry, but we're going to have to cut our training early tonight.
Pyrrha: Why?
Jaune: If I don't tell Ruby she's a good girl at least once a day she gets depressed.
Pyrrha: ...
Jaune: I'll see you at the dorm. *Walks off*
Pyrrha: ...You never call me a good girl.
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Yang: You guys wanna go get some d-e-s-s-e-r-t?
Ruby: Yeah dude! I need me a t-r-e-a-t?
Dog!Jaune: What're you guys talkin' about?
Blake: Yeah why did you guys just spell desser-
Ruby: Shut up don't say it!
Yang: Shh!
Blake: Uh, why?
Ruby: Oh God. How do we tell you this?
Yang: Jaune... Can't spell.
Blake: ...What?
Ruby: He can't spell. So when we talk about something he wants we spell it out loud so he doesn't get too excited.
Blake: He's a grown man! He can't handle hearing the word 'treat'?
Jaune, tail wagging: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune, ears drooping: Awww...
Blake: Okay, what is happening?
Yang: We told you! He gets excited when he hears the word t-r-e-a-t.
Jaune: Whatcha talkin' about?
Yang: Taxes
Jaune: Aw shucks!
Blake: So you guys just treat him like a toddler?
Jaune: Treat?
Ruby: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Ruby: No treat!
Jaune: Awwww...
Ruby: Dude, you gotta spell if you're talking about f-o-o-d.
Blake: Okay, so... Are we getting an s-n-a-c-k?
Jaune: Snack?
Ruby: Oh come on.
Yang: Dude, really?
Blake: Oh come on. I spelled it!
Ruby: Well he knows how to spell snack.
Blake: So he can spell snack, but he can't spell treat?
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: NO TREAT!
Jaune: God dammit!
Yang: Okay, he's getting fussy. Time for an n-a-p.
Jaune: Yeah!
Blake: What does n-a-p spell?
Jaune: Party!
#rwby#rwby shitpost#yang xiao long#ruby rose#jaune arc#blake belladonna#lancaster#rwby dragonslayer#sunlit knight#dog!faunus jaune#wolf!faunus ruby#wolf!faunus yang
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Nora: the best part about Dating two faunus is the four dicks.
Yang: That's cap. No way both of them got that.
Snake!faunus Ren: ... *Sips tea*
Shark!faunus Jaune: *Blushes, looks away*
Yang: ... Pyrrha. Pyrrha tell me she's lying.
Pyrrha: ... It is not her favorite part of the situation.
Yang: Everytime I talk with the four of you I learn something new.
Yang: And sometimes I'm reminded Ignorance is Bliss.
#rwby#jaune arc#rwby shitpost#yang xiao long#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#lie ren#shark!faunus jaune#snake!faunus ren#jnpr berries#team jnpr
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JNPR vs Faunus JNPR
Jaune: *Draws Crocea Mors* I like your scarf! Does it get stuffy under there?
Shark!Faunus Jaune: *Adjusting Scarf* Thanks! and it does sometimes, but it helps block out Electrical signals. Keeps me from being overwhelmed.
Jaune: Fashion and Function! Nice!
~~~~~
Jaune: *Picks out tooth* We both got into Beacon legitimately!
Jaune: *Futzing with his shield* Yep! Nothing suspicious at all!
Jaune: Yep! The only thing I lied about on my transcripts was being human!
~~~~~
Pyrrha: *Flourishes Milo* Like your tail! It's very Floofy!
Fox!Faunus Pyrrha: *Throws and Catches Akouo* Thank you! I take great pride in it!
Pyrrha: I can tell.
~~~~~
Pyrrha: *Kneels to her opponent* Aren't Blondes Lovely?
Pyrrha: *tightening gloves* Yes, Yes he- Blondes? Plural?
Pyrrha: Naturally! Yang and Jaune are so good~
~~~~~
Nora: *Collapses Magnhild* HAr HAr Harhar HAR har-harhar-harhar!
Bear!Faunus Nora: *Picking teeth with claws* Hey! Just 'cause you're ready for Freddy Doesn't mean you're ready for me!
Nora: Forget Five nights, You won't last Five seconds!
~~~~~
Nora: *Swings Magnhild around* Syrup? A heretic to the ways of Honey!
Nora: *Cracks Knuckles* I'm the Heretic? You're the one that eats Bee Puke!
Nora: Enough talk, Tree-Blood Drinker! Square up!
~~~~~
Ren: *Deploys Stormflower* ... Do you have venom?
Snake!Faunus Ren: *Gently shaving with SF* Yes, and Yes I do use it in teas and certain medical applications.
Ren: Thank you for answering
~~~~~
Ren: *Checking Fangs in compact Mirror* How is it to bit have fangs?
Ren: *Inspecting his father's knife* It is difficult to describe not having something when you've never had it to begin with.
Ren: That's Fair. Thank you.
#rwby#jaune arc#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#lie ren#shark!faunus jaune#fox!faunus pyrrha#bear!faunus nora#snake!faunus ren#rwby shitpost#mk intros
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NOT A DOG PERSON
Yang: “I just don’t get it!”
Blake: *Reading on her bed* “What do you mean?”
Yang: “Just last month you couldn’t even stand being in the same room as Zwei, but now you’re dating Jaune like it’s no big deal. I didn’t take you for a dog person.”
Blake: “I wouldn’t say I am a dog person. Although…”
Yang: “What is it?”
Blake: “I believe I have grown quite accustomed to certain habits similar as of dog-owners.”
Yang: “Wait, really? Like what?”
Blake: “Here, let me show you.” *Reaches for something under her bed*
Yang: “Blake, I swear. If it’s a leash, I’m moving out with Ruby by tomorrow.”
Blake: *Pulls out a box of Pumpkin Pete’s* “What leash?”
Yang: “Is that Jaune’s cereal? Why do you have-”
Blake: *Rips it open*
*SNEAKERS SOUNDS INTENSIFIES*
Jaune: *Barges in, tail waggling* “Hiya Blake! I heard snacks! Do you have snacks?!”
Blake: “Maybe later.” *Puts box down* “But now that you are here, I do need to ask you for a favor.”
Jaune: *Overly excited* “What is it?! What is it?!”
Blake: “You see, I was just getting to this really good part in my book, but the bed is a tad too cold for my liking…”
Jaune: “ON IT!” *Jumps onto her bed and sits by the headboard*
Blake: *Lays her head on his chest as she continues to read while caressing his cheek with her free hand* “Good boy.”
Jaune: *Happily snoozes under her care*
Yang: “Huh… This is oddly wholesome-”
Blake: “Oh. Before I forget, we do have a leash.”
Yang: “I KNEW IT!”
Blake: “He is not the one who wears it.”
Yang: *Bolts out of the room* “Ruby! Pack up your stuff!”
#rwby#jaune arc#blake belladonna#knightshade#jaune x blake#Dog-Faunus!Jaune#yang xiao long#dog!faunus jaune
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The Big Wolf Faunus in the Room
Papa Arc: *Minding his own business*
Jaune: Uhmm, dad. Can we speak to you for a moment?
Wolf Faunus Ruby: *Howl* ugh, hrmph, *cough*, *cough. I mean Papa Arc why do you disapprove of me Mat.... I mean Dating your son?
Papa Arc's PoV:
Papa Arc: Is this a trick question?
Look Ruby was it?
I know you're probably a nice girl and maybe a good choice for our son. But we are shopping for someone more... "Fitting" If you catch my meaning.
Ruby: You mean someone more human is that it?
Papa Arc: More like someone we don't have to feel ashamed of going out to the public with.
Ruby:
Oh... Sorry I wasn't listening. I suddenly saw my tail and I instinctively decided to grab it... So what were you saying again?
Papa Arc: Right... So Jaune as you can plainly see, Ruby is not a good fit for you. (Poor thing probably be snapped in half by Jaune's length if they decided to date.)
But not all is lost. Maybe Ruby's sister Yang is still interested in you?
Jaune: Uh, Yang. I mean she didn't say no the last time we met. So yeah, I guess she's still interested...
Ruby: No!!! Jaune is my Mate! He's mine and I already claimed him!
Jaune: Oh Ruby... As you can see dad. Can you please just gives Ruby a chance. I promised I will do everything I can to help her.
Papa Arc: I don't know Jaune... Taking care of a Faunus is a big responsibility. Are you sure you can handle it?
Jaune: I promise. I will feed her, bathe her and take her out for a walk.
Ruby: Walkie!!! 🐶
Papa Arc: I'm so gonna regret this but all right. You have my permission.
Jaune: Yay! C'mon Ruby let's go for a walk.
*puts a leash on Ruby*
Ruby: Yeah walkie!...... Hey wait a minute!!!!!!
I dare you to find something wrong with it.
#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#lancaster#lancaster rwby#jaune x ruby#ruby x jaune#rwby lancaster#papa arc#papa arc knows best#wolf faunus ruby
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