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neokonewman · 3 years

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Honestly? I think what tangled failed to do was make sure characters had good chemistry as friends. Seriously Cass and Rapunzel where like crude oil and the ocean. One single match from destruction. Season one is bottom barrel because it goes out of it's way to excuse Frederick for his shit. Season two was actually really good because Rapunzel was still herself and was making tough choices left and right. Season 3? Ohhhh boy. Season 3 was a half good half bad because while I do applaud her trying to bring her friend back into the fold? Cassandra wasn't wrong when she said "this has to stop now. This thing where you THINK you've been my friend". Cuz as far as I could tell? They were never friends. Hell even when being a slow burn villain, Varian had better friend chemistry with Rapunzel. When the show expects me to swallow "Cass and I are besties.and sisters!" whole sale? I'm not buying it.

Oooooh boy! This ask is just dripping with potential rant power. Sorry in advance for how long this answer is destinied to be!

First things first. I absolutely agree with you on how badly TTS handles chemistry amongst the main characters. Cass gets the worst of it because she is shoehorned as Rapunzel’s BFF off screen and suddenly she has equal sway on Rapunzel as Eugene? Her character can’t even be allowed to breathe most of the time because the show is obsessed with sticking her next to Rapunzel to the point that she can’t grow any further away from her. At least other show original characters like Lance and Varian have an actual introduction and a place in the world outside of Rapunzel, but even then they suffer because Rapunzel is upfront and center and there is very little wiggle room for interactions that don’t have at least have some involvement with her. It’s here where our opinions differ however.

I would make the bold claim by sayin that S1 of TTS is by far and away the best out of the three. Yes it has the glaring flaw of bias for Frederic and against Varian that makes me question whether or not it should be considered “good” but it’s much better balanced than the other two seasons that follow it. In S1 we actually get character who aren’t Rapunzel more chances to shine without her stealing the spotlight away at the last moment. In S1 we actually have an actual conflict that drives the story forward and at least pretends to care about developing the characters. Even the obnoxious bias could have still worked out in the shows favor if they were ever properly addressed in story and not swept under the rug like they were in later seasons. Heck, I would go as far as to argue that the worst parts of S1 is the fact that S2 and S3 make it worse retroactively.

S2 in my opinion is the dullest of the three, by a wide margin. With them never addressing what the mains left behind in S1 as well as taking the threat of the rocks away WAY too early, the conflict is particularly nonexistent. Not only that, but it does what I think is the worst thing a show can do during a season long journey. They never actually develop the world outside of Corona. They established that there are 6 other kingdoms in the alliance with Corona, but the most we get of any of them is the one throwaway line about them being close to the mountains of Koto in Freebird. Other than that we overstay in three separate places that end up being worthless to the plot as a whole. After spending three episodes in Vardaros right out the bat, we never return or what’s become of them afterwards. Them mains stranded on the Island is pretty dull and is only memorable to me because they had the guts of mentioning Varian again and established that Rapunzel STILL has an unhealthily delusional bias for Frederic despite of everything. The House of Yesterday’s tomorrow is just an excuse of shoehorning a bunch of magical hijink cliches that aren’t done very interesting. Heck, despite them spending a whole season getting to the Dark Kingdom, they only spend an episode and a half there and only a single night in universe. The rest of S2 is just filler that don’t even develop the characters or tell any interesting stories. Like, an enchanted forest episode even though the mid season finale takes place in another enchanted forest? A repeat of the first part of Tangled the movie with Cass replacing Eugene? Whatever the heck “Curses” was supposed to accomplish? The only thing interesting that S2 introduces is the Brotherhood, and we all know how little they are used afterwards.

I would also like to point out that at the start of S2, the mains just…. Stop developing almost entirely? Cass and Eugene never have any meaningful moments together like they do in S1, and are reduced to just taking potshots at each other to remind us that they have some sort of relationship. Lance is reduced strictly to comedic relief and in my opinion is just there to give Eugene something to do when he is removed from the plot because once again, the show is obsessed with making Rapunzel and Cass’ friendship be a thing that only matters. Hookfoot is just there to give his stand up routine about how marriage is terrible in the first episode of the season and just to exist afterwards, yet he SOMEHOW gets actual episodes focused on him while Lance suffers. Even characters properly introduced this season are cursed to never flesh out because Adira keeps pulling a vanishing act for no established reason, Hector is only gets any lines in his debut episode and never given any real focus again, and Edmund gets the same treatment as the other dads (except maybe Captain) by getting his entire character reduced to one trope later on in S3. Speaking of…

S3…. Ooooh boy S3. It’s not as boring as S2 for me, but that’s only because it’s a media equivalent of a train wreck that I couldn’t look away from. It’s like they took the two major issues of the past two seasons (the clear bias and shallow filler) and mashed them together while trying to savage it by inserting what worked in S1, (actual conflict) but completely missed the point why it worked in the first place. All pretense of caring about any other character other than Rapunzel and Cass is gone in this season. Even episodes that focus on anyone outside of Rapunzel, ends up ending with Rapunzel saving the day because she is the only one allowed to be heroic anymore.

They try to make Cass’ villain arc as complex as Varian’s but for some reason they think her blaming a literal baby for being kidnapped is enough grounds to go on a murder streak without one episode of hesitation. Lance is just there for bottom barrel dumb humor, yet the show thinks he is responsible enough to raise two kids on his own. Varian falls into the pigeon hole of just being the “kid character that hangs with the grown up mains” trope that he managed to avoid in S1 while also being just a plot device to not only give the mains access to tech, but also get shoehorned into scenes to keep the audience somewhat invested. Eugene is literal retconned in universe to be just a bland supportive boyfriend. Rapunzel, my gosh Rapunzel…. She treated is so painfully “perfect” to the point that she is completely unrelated. I’m not calling her a Mary Sue because they only ACT like she is perfect. She is still a hugely flawed human being, but the other characters just applaud her because she is “the magical, wonderous sundrop” and very little else. Also yes, Rapunzel being obsessed over Cass while playing off all the horrible actions her BFF as her being lost is the most frustrating thing ever. It’s as if she became Frederic from S1 and abandoned everyone else well being in favor of one person who doesn’t even want her attention, only worse because it’s made into a good thing. Again, S1 is made retroactively worse because of the seasons that follow it.

There is much more things wrong with S3 than S2, but honestly I find myself changing my mind a lot whether which one is objectively worse. Like making a show boring is arguably the worst thing you can do, but the choices, morals, and all around writing of S3 is just bad. Then again the writing in S2 is honestly pretty on par with S3 at times, so again, it’s a toss up.

Sorry again if this answer is a lot, but it was pretty fun at the same time. Thanks for the ask. ^^

#long post #tangled criticism #tangled discourse #negativity #negative #not tagging the main tags anymore to avoid spamming #discourse mention #also cass and rapunzel are just not sisters #not even in a sisters from another mister sense #it’s okay to just be friends with your friends #heck i would argue whether or not they should be even considered friends at all sometimes #neo muses #neo rants #neo answers #jade-rosepine

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hopetofantasy · 3 years

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‘HUMO’s big youth survey - Politics, society and religion’ - With Nora Dari (part 1)

- TW: corona pandemic, mental health, sickness, religion, islamophobia, racism, cancel culture -

Who better to test out the results of HUMO’s brand new ‘youth survey’ than a trio of three young gods? Bouba Kalala (23) made the switch between ‘Studio Brussel’ and the social media-team of the ‘SP.A’ - sorry, ‘Vooruit’. Céleste Cockmartin (21), daughter of sexologist and politician Goedele Liekens, just started her third year of neuropsychology in Maastricht. Nora Dari (19) portrays the beautiful Yasmina in the wildly popular ‘wtFOCK’. ‘If we don’t rise up to the streets, a lot of things will remain the same.’

- Note from hopetofantasy: ‘SP.A’, soon to be rebranded as ‘Vooruit’, is a social democratic political party -

For the past quarter of the century, HUMO surveyed every new batch of youngsters, but never before did we had to include a pandemic in our questionnaire. It’s a first! And even though the youth isn’t the most popular target of the virus, they’ll emerge from the corona crisis with scars on them too.

Half of young people thinks life will never return to what it was before. The girls are even more pessimistic than the boys. Nora Dari: “I wouldn’t call us pessimistic: we weren’t on the right track at all. This is one big wake-up call. I’ve never felt as alone yet together as during lockdown. On social media, we were already used to our own bubble. Then suddenly, all these bubbles began to look the same and everyone kept talking about the same thing.”

Bouba Kalala: “For one moment, the crisis showed us how good the world could be. I even started to cry at the drone images of VTM. I think we’ll bring that unity with us to the post-corona era.” Nora Dari: “When my mom stepped on the bus with her hijab before this, she would have gotten the side-eye. Now people scowl at those without mouth-masks. Weird how fast everything can change.” Bouba Kalala: “My grandpa experienced the war, we lived through a pandemic. Shit happens. When the Germans threw bombs on England, everyone re-emerged after the bombardments, re-opened their shops and even made jokes about it - ‘Everything at explosive prices!’. That’s what we should do now: we have to take corona seriously and follow the measures, but being scared won’t help us more forward.”

Do young people have to give up too much, because of the corona crisis? Almost one out of three think they do. Céleste Cockmartin: “I don’t have the feeling I’m giving up on a lot. But young people really do try and avoid infecting the elderly. When I’m in Maastricht and only see my peers for weeks at a time, then I’ll be less restrained. But when visiting my parents, I’m very careful. It’s just a matter of not being selfish. What’s so difficult about wearing a mask and disinfecting your hands?” Nora Dari: “Quite a lot of people don’t believe in masks.” Bouba Kalala: “Really? I don’t know anyone who dismisses the rules and says: ‘I’m going to go anywhere and do what I want.’ But those that do, get a story in the news. As if every young person doesn’t give a fuck.” You do? Bouba Kalala: “I have to: my grandpa who’s 84, is staying with us. I did sin once, though. Going to a friend’s house for some drinks, other friends come over and suddenly you’re with ten people.” Nora Dari: “I’ve had corona and I was scared to death that I’d infect my parents. So I locked myself up in my bedroom for two weeks.” Céleste Cockmartin: “Seriously? I wouldn't be able to handle it mentally if I couldn't go out.” Nora Dari: “But I was incredibly sick, so the solitary confinement didn’t bother me. I’ve binged all there was to binge on Netflix.” Bouba Kalala: “And your sense of smell and taste?” Nora Dari: “Still gone! I can’t taste anything. Us, Moroccans, drink mint tea every day. Now, a month later, it still tastes like water.” Did the virus change you? Nora Dari: “I’m pretty religious. Corona has given me even more the understanding that everything is in God’s hands.” Faith is on the rise again: the number of young people claiming they’re atheist or non-religious declined from 50 to 41 percent. Céleste Cockmartin: “Everyone is looking for meaning and answers. I search these answers in science.” Bouba Kalala: “For me, science and God have the same worth. Believers can’t prove there is something, but science can’t disprove it either.” You believe there’s something? Bouba Kalala: “Yes, but what? I believe in the universe, the force of attraction, the power of positive thinking... I don’t want to sound too much like a hippie, but I also believe in the paranormal and UFOs. (*Céleste and Nora laugh out loud*) What? UFOs are my hobby. Even the American army admits there is something, so there must be something (*laughs*).” Nora Dari: “I often hear it: young people believe in something, but they don’t know (yet) in what they believe.” It’s all clear to you. Nora Dari: “Yes. I’m lucky to be born in a muslim family, but even then, there’s a moment where you think: is this the religion that really defines me? I’ve done research and began reading books, but my heart truly connected with the Islam. It feels like true love.” Céleste Cockmartin: “I can be jealous about that. I think it’s a shame sometimes, that I don’t have that faith. It seems to be a good solace during the hard times. For a lot of people, faith isn’t much more than a form of meditation.” Bouba Kalala: “The grandma from a friend of mine passed away recently. I found it hard to comfort her. I don’t have that issue with my Moroccan or Turkish friends, because we know she’s with God. The idea that she isn’t gone, brings peace.” In 2015, when we were still discussing the imminent terror attacks, 9 percent called themselves muslim. Now it’s 17 percent. Nora Dari: “I think it’s related to the terrorists. Because of them, muslims and non-muslims started asking questions about Islam. People studied the religion and concluded that it’s actually really beautiful.” When you were 13, you wore a hijab for a while. Nora Dari: “As a young girl, I often visited the community center in Winterslag. It closed down by the time I went to high school. From a tiny school with only two Belgians without an immigration background, to a school with a handful of muslims. Suddenly the world seemed bigger. I needed something familiar, something I could join and where I felt included. That was the Islam. After two years, I realized that my choice to wear the hijab, was too hasty. I wore it so I wouldn’t feel alone, but when I got older, I understood: I’m not alone. With or without hijab, God’s always with me.” Will you wear it again some day? Nora Dari: “I hope so. If someone asks me why I don’t wear it, I don’t have an excuse. It’s something so beautiful. Yet, right now, it doesn’t feel as if it’s something I need to do.” Do you feel, as a muslim, that you’re less of a target than a few years ago? Nora Dari: “Yes. That’s connected with the trend of being woke, being aware of everything and refusing to think anything is bad. Due to this, a lot of youngsters are becoming less critical. Which is a shame.” And here I thought, young people were only positive about being woke? Nora Dari: “But what is the meaning of ‘being woke’?” I was hoping you could tell me. Nora Dari: “No one knows. Everyone pretends to know (*laughs*).” Bouba Kalala: “That’s being woke, I think: not knowing everything, stop pretending like you have all the answers.” Nora Dari: “You know what bothers me? That we live in such a cancel culture. One bad tweet and you’re cancelled for life. There’s nothing woke about that?” Bouba Kalala: “Without social media, we wouldn’t have cancel culture: every brain fart continues to exist on the internet. Years later, someone will dig up a wrong statement and use it to take you down.” Nora Dari: “Young people would do well, if they followed the people they don’t agree with on social media.” Bouba Kalala: “Yes!” Nora Dari: “If I'd follow Dries Van Langenhove (= extreme right politician / activist) tomorrow, my followers would throw a fit: ‘Do you agree with him?’ No, the exact opposite! But how can I understand how he thinks, if I don’t follow him? If I only followed people whom I agree with, I’ll get tangled up into my own truths. The world doesn’t stop with my own Insta page.” Céleste Cockmartin: “That’s being woke: talking with your opponents. I once started a conversation with Dries Van Langenhove. I ran into him in Ghent, at the time of the ‘Schild & Vrienden’ TV report. I had to know: what’s the deal with that group? Unfortunately the conversation wasn’t very clear - it was the nightlife neighborhood. But I’ll stick with my statement: start a conversation with dissendents.” And the youth of today doesn’t do that? Nora Dari: “Not at all. We rather cancel each other.” Bouba Kalala: “I already know that I’ll get racist bullshit hurled at me after this interview. I've learned not to care. Hate posts are good for my algorithm.” You don’t reply to them? Bouba Kalala: “I do, every time. One time, I argued for hours with someone who sent a racist tweet. I kept going: ‘Why do you say that, Arno? Do you realize this hurts?’. In the end, he even thanked me. I went to my mom, showed her the conversation and we’ve high-fived each other. I know that Arno will vote for Vlaams Belang (= extreme right political party) again, but he did say ‘thank you’, while he started with that sick tweet.”

#wtfock #wtfam #part 1 of ...#because my Tumblr keeps glitching #I'm dropping part one already #nora dari

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atreegrowsinnorthnywrites · 3 years

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A little v-day love story

I was on my second helping of Dad’s infamous enchiladas when my older brother, Sam, clapped his hands together and declared, “We’re going out!”

My fork clattered to the half-eaten plate and I gave him a stern shake of my head.

“Come onnn, Em,” Sam whined, precariously tipping back his chair so it hovered on two legs. “You can’t sit around and mope forever. Silas and Sean will come too.”

I looked to my two other older brothers with a challenging raise of my eyebrow as Dad leaned forward and cuffed Sam over the head.

“Hell no I’m not,” Sean said without hesitation. All four legs of Sam’s chair returned to the ground with a disappointed thud. “I love you and I’m here for you, Em, but no.”

I chuckled at my eldest brother’s immediate reaction. With a family of his own, and an hour and a half drive back to Tucson, I was not surprised in the least. Silas’s lips were pursed and he actually appeared to be considering.

“Just say no,” I muttered as Sam egged him on.

“I have to text Paige,” Silas said slowly, “but if she doesn’t mind.”

“YES!” Sam pumped his fist triumphantly. “Dad?”

I looked to our patriarch, mid-lift of his beer to his lips, who snorted. “I’ll pass, but so thoughtful of you.” I stifled laughter at Sam’s disappointed face.

“Alright, Em. Go get ready.”

“I’m not done eating?”

My plate disappeared with a quick swipe of Sam’s hand and he waved me away with the other. “You are now.”

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An hour later we were pulling out of the long driveway that led to Dad’s ranch. I was wedged in the back seat of Silas’s truck between his work boots and tools, Chattahoochee blaring through the speakers, Sam and Silas arguing about the best bar in Bisbee on a Friday night, and it hit me this was the first time I had ever gone out with my brothers.

If I thought about it more, it wasn’t that surprising. After the divorce-court mandated summers in Arizona with my dad and brothers had ended my senior year, I never came back for an extended period again. My mom, my friends, and college were all back in Michigan. Once I met Thomas my sophomore year at Michigan State, I had spent my holiday weekends with his family in Chicago instead of visiting my own.

“You need more air, Em?” Silas asked from the front seat, smiling at me in the rear view.

“I’m good,” I murmured back, a wave of guilt flooding me.

Guilt that reminded me the five years of my life I had spent on Thomas had been a waste, and when the engagement and subsequent wedding had been called off, it had been my dad and three older brothers who had welcomed me home. It was my dad and brothers who had no judgement or questions.

“You better not sulk all night,” Sam warned, whipping around and eyeing me warily.

“I won’t.” I crossed my arms and scowled.

“Good.”

It had been three months since I had broken down in sobs at a dinner with Thomas and proclaimed I couldn’t marry him. Though I would die before admitting aloud any of my brothers were right, it was indeed time to get out of the house.

After Silas parked the truck in downtown Bisbee, we made our way down the string-light filled main street toward a packed bar with live music. Wafts of cigarette smoke, and definitely weed, greeted us outside the door. Silas and Sam shuffled me inside, pushing passed bodies to inch our way towards the bar. The crowd was far more eclectic than I would have guessed for my western brothers, with a band that sounded more like folk rock than country.

“What’ll it be?” Sam shouted over the music.

“A margarita,” I yelled back. “Spicy, if they can.”

He gave me a thumbs up and approached the bar while Silas waved to a group of guys from across the bar that had recognized him. During my summers on dad’s ranch, the only friends I ever really made were friends of my brothers, but I had not seen any of these guys since high school. The band played the final notes of their song and the crowd cheered enthusiastically as they announced a short intermission. Then I heard a high-pitched whistle.

“Ho-ly shit.”

I turned at the curse and came face-to-face with a brown haired, short-bearded, six-foot-or-so man wearing a white t-shirt, dark jeans, and vans. I squinted, and then he said my name.

“Emmeline Collins.”

There was only one person I had ever heard drag the “i” in my name that way.

“Lane?”

My stomach was in my throat. I remembered, very clearly, the last time I had ever spoken to Lane Diaz. He was smiling despite my memory, his right hand wrapped around a bottle of Corona and his left in the pocket of his jeans.

“Didn’t recognize me?” He asked with a laugh, and I debated admitting the truth. He looked great. Better, actually. But his southern accent had faded, and his cowboy look from all the years romping around the ranch with Sam was gone.

“Diaz!” Sam cried as he approached with two bottles in one hand and my cocktail in the other. He distributed the drinks for Silas and me, and then gave Lane a hug. “What’s up, man?”

“Just getting reacquainted with Em.” I frowned. Were we though? “Y’all didn’t mention your little sister was back in town.”

Sam looked down at me and then back to Lane. “Oh, right! You two haven’t…since…oh...right.” Sam took a long pull of his beer, and I stared him down the entire drink.

“Weekend visit to see the family?” Lane asked politely.

“Uhm,” I sipped my margarita for courage. A bite of jalapeño, just the way I liked it. “No. I’m uh, here for the summer.”

“Just like when we were kids,” Lane observed. I took another drink.

“Oh, hey!” Silas announced loudly, moving towards the crowd, “I see uhm...yeah I’ll be over here.”

Silas hurried out of sight, but when Sam went to follow, I dug the heel of my sandal down into his foot.

“What’s it been? Six years?” I asked Lane, taking a third sip and willing the alcohol to hit quickly.

“Seven in August, actually.”

Oh, he remembered.

“I’m going to let you two catch up,” Sam declared bluntly, extracting his foot from under my heel through gritted teeth and patting my shoulder as he walked by. The band was returning to the stage. Lane nodded to a pair of empty seats that had just vacated next to a window, on the far side of the bar from the band. I was trapped and agreed with a jerky, awkward nod.

“You look as surprised to see me as I am to see you,” He noted as we sat down.

“My brothers didn’t mention you were still around,” I replied. I was not entirely surprised he was, considering the rate of people who never leave a small town, but Lane had always seemed different. It was what had attracted me to him all those years ago.

“I moved back last summer,” He shared as the band started up again.

“Where were you before?” I asked over the growing sound.

“Army.”

Now, that, I did not expect. We had talked about going to college together on the west coast before everything happened.

“And you?” He asked, “What are you doing here?”

The question was edged with a coolness I deserved. His face was serious, his warm, brown eyes watching me intently. I did not want to rehash my screwed up, disappointing life with my ex-boyfriend, of all people.

“Another drink, hon?” A waitress asked from behind and I realized I had drained the cocktail in my hand.

“Yes,” I agreed quickly, “Margarita with jalapeño.”

Lane chuckled as the waitress walked away.

“What?” I asked him defensively.

“Why am I not surprised Em Collins’ drink of choice is tequila and spice?”

Ouch.

“The same reason I’m not surprised yours is Corona. What are you on vacation in Rocky Point?” I scoffed.

“You know I asked for a Pina Colada, but they gave me this instead.”

I laughed, and his stoic expression split into the friendly grin I had seen when he first caught sight of me in the bar.

“How long were you in the Army?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. He had a knowing look on his face, aware that I had dodged his question, but polite enough not to call me out. Yet.

“Four years.”

The waitress returned with my drink, and I made sure to put it on Sam’s tab.

“Good for you,” I replied, “Thanks for your uh…service.”

Lane cringed and took a sip of beer while I briefly contemplated throwing back my entire drink so I could at least claim my awkwardness was from blacking out.

“So, where’s your fiancé?” He asked.

I froze mid sip of my drink and looked up at him. We had not been friends on social media since my freshman year of college when a few months into dating Thomas I did an inventory of old photos and took down all of those with Lane and removed him as a friend. A little dramatic, thinking back on it.

“How did you…”

“Sam and I are still friends, Em.”

Duh. My stupid brother had probably told him ages ago. The alcohol was starting to go to my head, making me light and loose-lipped. I didn’t even know why I was skirting around this. I had nothing to prove to Lane Diaz.

“I broke off the engagement a couple months ago. We’re not together.”

It was the most abrupt way I had said it yet. It felt painfully final. Despite my boldness, I could not look at Lane’s face and so I followed it with a shrug and stared out the window.

“Damn. I’m sorry.” Lane said gently.

“It was for the best,” I said quickly, glancing at him and seeing furrowed eyebrows, “Trust me.”

“Doesn’t make it any less hard,” He noted. No, no it did not.

“It sucks, but what do you do,” I replied pitifully, taking yet another drink.

“Is that why you’re back?” He pressed. Lane was never scared to push me. I remember that about our two summers together. He always asked the questions I did not want to answer. Challenged the things I thought and believed.

“Part of it,” I admitted, “Honestly, uhm...I’m having a bit of a quarter-life crisis.”

“I see.”

“I knew my dad would be more understanding...”

A look of recognition crossed Lane’s face and he winced for me. I had almost forgotten our daily phone calls nearly every night of my junior year.

“How’d your mom take it?” He raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You’re a jackass,” I said with a flourish of my straw, flicking droplets of my drink in his direction. “Because you know exactly how well she took it.”

He coughed on his drink of beer and we both broke into laughter.

“Still a little high strung then?”

“A little?”

“Worse?” Lane gaped.

“After I told her we broke up, she called me back and said I needed to beg for Thomas’s forgiveness. Tell him I was having mental health issues or I would fracture my future.”

“Jesus.”

I finished the rest of my second margarita at the memory of my mother’s shrill voice on the phone. We had spoken once since, and that conversation had been even worse.

“How’s your ma?” I asked, desperate to change the topic.

“She’s good. She was sick last year, but she’s feeling better.” He paused at the look of my face, and I bit my lip to keep from asking more. I had my assumptions with the smoking habit his mom, Eileen, had back then. “She would love to see you.”

He placed emphasized on the word love, and I looked away, uncomfortable at the very thought of going back to Lane’s childhood home where we used to hang out alone when his mom was working nights. Lane seemed to regret the statement and drained the rest of his beer. Regardless of my discomfort, I was not heartless.

“I’d love to see her too,” I added, and Lane relaxed. When his tense shoulders fell, I noticed how much more muscular he was than when we were kids. His brown skin wasn’t as tan anymore though, so he must work indoors. My eyes subtly trailed down to his hand, where I noted no ring on any fingers.

“Another round?” The waitress asked and Lane opened his mouth to answer, but instead gestured to me to decide.

“Sure,” I agreed, and she winked at me, obviously assuming we were on an early date.

“You don’t have to,” Lane said. “I understand if you rather go find your brothers.”

Maybe it was the tequila, or maybe it was pure curiosity, but I shook my head. “No, this is…nice.”

He gave me his iconic frown smile I remembered well. “Well, alright then.”

The waitress returned with our drinks and when he offered up his credit card, I placed my hand over his and smiled sweetly at her, “Put them both on Sam Collins’ tab. That’s S-A-M.”

When the waitress walked away to do just that, I realized my hand was still on top of Lane’s, my body angled close enough to his I could smell his minty aftershave. He smiled softly and I dropped his hand, quickly reaching for my third drink. The most sour margarita they had made me yet. My mouth puckered and I shivered as it went down.

“There’s the girl I remember.” I tilted my head with curiosity at his comment and Lane laughed, taking a drink instead of elaborating.

“I’m nothing like that girl anymore,” I declared defiantly.

“Good,” Lane said, his smiling fading as he set down his beer. His eyes softened, and his voice dropped. “Because that girl broke my heart.”

#writing community #romcom #romance writing #soft romance #love story #writing prompts #writing prompt #writing ideas #fiction writing #writeblr #short story #prompts

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aveyna · 4 years

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The Seal of Approval

SUMMARY: In which Nuru liberates a seal, Yong gets adopted, Hugo is a gay pining disaster, and Varian is the sole voice of reason.

Alternatively, Nuru partakes in the age old tradition of toppling a monarchy.

[NOTE] Apparently the desire to see Varian get slapped by a seal was strong, judging by my last post.

AO3 LINK

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“Can I at least take him for everything he’s worth?”

“For the last time, no, Hugo. You cannot be rude to the king, you cannot antagonize him, you cannot make fun of his beard, and hell, you definitely cannot kill him.” Varian sighs. After their last run in with Donella and her goons, they had just barely made it to the kingdom of Equis. He is only so close to choking this brilliantly stupid idiot with those dumb goggles he refuses to wear like they’re intended to. “I’d like to sleep under a roof for one lousy evening.”

“Oh, come on, hairstripe. If not thievery, can’t I commit a little murder?” Hugo whines, placing his arm dramatically over his eyes. “What else do I have to live for?”

It’s during times like these that Varian almost wishes he could go back to the way he used to be, before he and the princess had made amends. His younger self would not have hesitated to kick this sorry excuse of an alchemist to the curb. He loves him, truly, he does. The same can be said for Nuru and Yong, but he has just about had it. He had left on this journey in-search of his mother, but instead, he was stuck on babysitting duty.

Distantly, he wonders if this is how Eugene felt with his past failures on the hot water boilers. He visibly shudders at the memory.

No, let’s not think about that.

“Then die.” Varian glares up at the taller man who was currently leaning on him. Scowling, he removes the other arm that he had perched on-top of his head.

“Don’t be so heartless,” Hugo laughs. He smirks at Varian, but it softens ever so slightly. It seems almost fond and gentle, but quickly, it is wiped off from his face. “Huh, you really do make for a very nice armrest.”

“Glad that’s all I’m good for,” Varian grumbles, brows furrowed in annoyance.

Yong jumps up, waving his arms erratically as if he needed to expend that much effort in garnering Varian’s attention.

“Yes, Yong?” Varian asks, smiling pleasantly at his shorter friend.

“You’re also pretty!” Yong says. The color from Hugo’s face immediately drains.

“Wha—” Varian laughs, but it does nothing to dissuade the complete awkwardness of this situation.

“That’s what Hugo always says!”

“Haha, no, my dear Yong,” Hugo exclaims, speaking a bit too fast and loud. He had rushed over to the pyromaniac, clamping his hands over him. “He’s got it completely wrong. I never said you looked pretty.”

“No, but I heard—” Yong breaks free Hugo’s grip, only to be interrupted.

“Boys, boys, as entertaining as this may be, we’re drawing a crowd,” Nuru says, lips upturned in a half smile. Her golden eyes are lit up in mirth. Clearly, Varian can tell she finds amusement in his misery.

He raises his head, and…it looks like her assessment was correct. Surprisingly, a large number of people had gathered, eyes boring into the strange group with varying degrees of confusion and judgment. Yong had immediately jumped at the chance to talk with some kids his age who were conspiratorially whispering to one another as they pointed towards Varian.

Yong nods, easily blending into the crowd. His expression is resolute as he earnestly listens before turning his eyes towards Varian.

His feet are nailed to the spot, unable to shirk away from the attention. He feels as if he is a fish out of water, but…he cannot move. His two so-called friends had an iron-clad grip on his arms. “Let’s hear what they have to say. Afterall, we wouldn’t want to disappointment Yong,” Hugo concedes in a mocking fashion.

If I must suffer, I won’t do it alone, his eyes seem to say.

“Varian, hey, Varian, guess what—!!” The pyromaniac looks towards his new friends before nodding in understanding once more. “They just told me something really cool! Apparently you’re famous!?”

Immediately, his reality comes crashing down. With Yong’s well-meaning statement, Varian stumbles back as if he were scathed by boiling water. He has done many things he wasn’t proud of over the course of his life. Varian…he had been hurt. He had hurt others, but, here, in this time and place, this family that he has found…it will all come crashing down. It hurts to look at Yong’s bright expression with the knowledge that it’ll soon morph to one of contempt or even pity. He lowers his head, bangs shrouding his downcast eyes.

“Hugo, didn’t Varian kidnap the Queen of Corona?”

His head immediately whips towards Nuru, eyes wide in bewilderment. What in the world—

“He sure did,” Hugo replies in a dispassionate tone. “What a hypocrite you are, goggles. You forbid me from stealing a single jewel, yet you get to commit attempted murder?”

They’re…they’re not disappointed in me?

“Way to hog all the fun for yourself,” Hugo lightly chides, glancing down at Varian in a condescending manner.

Varian’s eyes are glassy. He feels tears begin to prick at the corner of his eyes, but he hastily wipes at his face. There is so much to unpack here. Does he even deserve their understanding? Like his father and the king, he had been keeping secrets from his friends. They’d traversed across countless kingdoms and nearly died in the process. They had laughed, cried, shared good and bad moments, but for reasons unbeknownst to him, they still remain by his side.

With everything they have done by merely staying by his side, he—

Wait.

How did they find out!!?

Hugo adjusts his wire-rimmed glasses as he nonchalantly states, “Don’t shoot us that look, goggles. You’re acting like we kicked your raccoon.”

At this, Varian’s initial agitation at the infuriating man returns ten-fold.

“Why you—don’t bring Ruddiger into this!!” Varian seethes, standing up on the tips as he grabs Hugo by the goggles placed over his neck. His threat had come full-circle. Now, he is this close to murdering his fellow alchemist.

Nuru looks between her two older companions. Earlier, she had found a disconnected amusement in their bickering. She had always been alone growing up; it was hard to find someone close to her age to forge a genuine connection with. But here, with these two moronic geniuses and a kid who would most likely commit grand arson in a few years tops, she felt…included, complete…as if she were not a princess burdened with a heavy task and instead, a normal girl.

Still, it would be best to calm Varian before he gets a one-way ticket to prison. She cannot possibly understand how he thought they would never find out; the signs were obvious enough!

“You would not believe how popular books on recent Coronian news are,” Nuru articulates, thinking back to her initial surprise upon finding chapters upon chapters on Varian’s initial [clearly not one-sided] betrayal of their princess and eventual redemption. Under most circumstances she would have had him thrown out of her kingdom, but she had seen his kindness first-hand.

He had been abandoned when he was young; cast aside by those he had once admired. His problems were definitely more complicated than that, and its connections were deeply entrenched within the machinations of his kingdom and beyond, but—

If he had gone out of his way to right his wrongs, she could tell he was a good person at heart, and certainly one she would not mind to have right by her side when traversing the great unknown.

“You also talk in your sleep,” Yong mentions, eager to help out.

Varian’s jaw drops, mind reeling at their confessions. Various expressions flicker across his face, but his words…clearly do not do his thoughts justice.

“Oh, shit,” he says.

Hugo playfully goads the shorter alchemist, attempting to rile him into another argument. “I thought you said no cursing around Yong?”

The blue-eyed alchemist merely looks past the taller man and points. Curious, Hugo turns.

“Oh, shit,” Hugo hisses.

---

Underneath the sunny, brightly lit sky of Equis, Hugo…is confronted with his worst nightmare. No, even that would be too kind a word. Nothing can describe the complete loathing and disgust he feels at this very moment, not when he is face to face with the vilest person he has ever had the misfortune of encountering again. Even six years is not enough time away from this madman.

Clearly, time had not been kind to him. Not that it had ever been, if Hugo were to be honest.

Though…now he has a seal.

That’s new, Hugo offhandedly mutters, staring at the seal wearing a lavish necklace and golden crown while…still hideous, actually shoots him, unlike this man glaring daggers at him.

Nuru, however, her eyes…they are the brightest that they have ever been. She looks as if she had been struck by an arrow. Hugo looks at her, clearly disturbed at the princess’s…unusual behavior. “What. Is. That!?”

She is shaking Varian’s shoulders, eyes filled with stars as gazes at the seal in an awed reverence.

“A seal…?” Varian responds, somewhat worried by Nuru’s words, until…realization dawns on him. “Oh.”

“He’s…majestic,” she practically shouts, smile impossibly bright. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life.”

We’ve lost her, Hugo deadpans.

“What are you four miscreants doing in my kingdom?” the king of Equis, Trevor, demands as he narrows his eyes at the four friends. Quickly, he looks towards the crowd, only to have them quietly disperse, but—

Not without shooting another curious glance towards their pathetic excuse of a traveling group.

“I’m sorry about my friends, King Trevor,” Varian murmurs, casting a small glance towards Hugo and the others, as if beckoning them to remain calm and quiet. He looks at Nuru, but she has clearly lost herself to this newfound discovery.

“Clearly,” the king guffaws. “Wait, I know you from somewhere…”

His attention immediately snaps towards Varian, who is doing his best to hide behind Hugo. “Save me,” he says.

I’m sorry. You’re on your own, Varian. Hugo relents, glancing between the alchemist and king.

“You must be mistaken, I—”

“Yeah, you’re that alchemist from Corona,” King Trevor utters, voice laced in suspicion. “You’re not working for that fool, Frederic, are you? Trying to steal the secrets of my great kingdom—wanting to overthrow my rule and displace all of my people? Good, hard-working, law abiding people, might I add.”

Him? Willingly work for the king? He’d rather die.

Varian’s eyes crinkle in disgust. He may be on good terms with Rapunzel, but it doesn’t mean he wants anything to do with her father. “What, of course not!”

At his words, King Trevor marches past Hugo, red cape swishing as he levels his eyes with Varian. “You’re lying. Trevor Jr., come here—!!”

Hugo inaudibly chortles. He named his seal after himself?

“Arf,” the royal seal states, slowly moving its flippers as it waddles towards them. Its movement is so languid that anxiety begins to fester among their group until…eventually, it finally reaches the king.

“Go on,” he says, urging his pet seal towards Varian.

It turns its head towards Varian as it stares into the alchemist’s blue eyes. The alchemist cannot breathe as the seal regards him with a contemplative expression…at least, he thinks the seal is contemplating.

A moment passes, until, “Arf,” Trevor Jr. says once again.

He raises a flipper.

Yong’s hands are pressed to his face; smile impossibly wide as he awaits the royal seal’s verdict.

“Arf,” the seal barks. The flipper comes down and a resounding slap is heard.

Varian cannot believe this. Did he…

Did I just get bitch slapped by a seal!!?

“Arf arf,” Trevor Jr. huffs, head raised high as he turns away from Varian. The king’s eyes light up with a mirthless glee as he clears his throat.

“Trevor Jr. has spoken,” the king extrapolates. “He is displeased, and for this…you, Varitas, will be sentenced to death.”

“Actually, his name’s Varian,” Hugo corrects, helping Varian to his feet after he had been knocked over by the seal. He shoots a look towards Nuru, but her hands are pressed against her face, sporting the brightest grin he had ever seen on the princess.

He should be more sympathetic, but this is just too good to pass up. Sniggering, Hugo says, “Can’t believe a seal rejected you.”

Varian glares at the older alchemist, but…screw this. He is too done with this day. All he wanted was one peaceful day. Just one, but instead, here he was…public enemy number one again…and Trevor Jr.’s surprisingly hard slap certainly didn’t help.

He makes a move to retort, only for his words to be broken off by laughter.

“I think he likes me,” Yong cackles, petting the seal, eyes starry in wonder and amazement.

A whirlwind of thoughts goes off in his head; the weasel-like king seems genuinely conflicted, before casting a fond smile at the seal. He visibly sighs. “As much as it pains me to this say this, your execution…will be put off for now. Your little friend has gained the trust of Trevor Jr, so—”

No.

“He has gotten—” Time stands to a halt as Varian stares at the king in horror.

Don’t say it, he and Hugo internally scream. Yong seems oblivious, but Nuru…she has lost herself to the cuteness of the seal.

“—The seal of approval.”

Varian cringes. “Just kill me now.”

The taller alchemist merely pats his back in understanding. He, too, is visibly shaken by…the king’s choice of words. “Only if you kill me first.”

King Trevor looks towards Yong as if he were an ant. “Feel blessed, child. I do not know why, but my Trevor Jr. has taken a liking to you.”

“Do not disappointment him,” he yells at the sky, both fists curled into balls at his sides. “He is my baby; the only person in this world that I hold near and dear to my heart. Whatever Trevor Jr. says is the law.”

“I’m Yong,” the alchemist exclaims an introduction. He looks up at the king in amazement. “Woah, are you two wearing matching clothes!? That’s. So. Cool!”

The king audibly deflates, at a loss for words.

“I like your beard; it’s fancy! Do you think I’ll get a fancy beard when I grow up?”

No, no, please don’t, Varian laments. He had gone that route once upon a time. Those fingerless gloves, fanged bandana, the goatee. Yong should not commit the same mistakes he had committed in his past.

“Oh, you do?” King Trevor says, twirling his mustache. “You never know, eh, but…probably. You look just like me in my youth. Just, nowhere near as tall. Or handsome.”

“He does?” Hugo deadpans.

“Of course he does! Can you not see the resemblance, boy?” the king barks. “We look exactly alike. Why, he’s practically the son I never wanted.”

“Does this mean I have two dads now? And a mom?” The pyromaniac tilts his head in confusion. “I don’t remember them getting a divorce.”

King Trevor pauses, contemplating Yong’s words for a moment. “I guess you do now.”

“Well, eventually, I will need a successor, and seeing that I have no children, why not?” He glances at his seal. “If Trevor Jr. approves of you, who am I to judge?”

Yong’s hands are clasped together, clearly ecstatic. The sight is so blinding that Varian almost has to shield his eyes. “Which one of my parents did you marry?”

“Eh, who cares,” King Trevor dismisses.

The pyromaniac presses his hands to his face, mouth forming a silent ‘o’. “Just wait until I tell my siblings!”

“Follow me, Yoshi,” the king says, as he walks away from the other three teens. “There’s so much you must learn about Equis if you want to rule over my kingdom with an iron fist.”

“Don’t you mean kind and just?” Yong says, eyes starry and impossibly bright.

“Oh, silly, naïve Yoro,” the king chides. “You have so much to learn.”

“Hold on, you can’t take Yong,” Varian exclaims in anger, placing himself between the Yong, the king, and Trevor Jr.

A moment passes…complete and utter silence. The king raises his hand, but—

“It’s fine, Varian!” Yong beams. “Guess this is my life now.”

“No, Yong, it’s not fine—”

“Trust me,” the shorter boy says. His expression darkens, but Varian must have been imagining it. “I need to make my father proud; I’m sure you understand.”

The alchemist makes a move to run after Yong and the king, but Trevor Jr. had gotten in the way—lethargically following after the unlikely duo, but not before casting one final look of complete loathing at Varian. He shirks back on himself, the memories from the previous grueling minutes replaying in his mind.

As he watches their retreating forms disappear into the distance, Varian makes a vow. “I’ll save you even if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“May the moon have mercy on his soul,” Hugo snarks, slightly concerned…but not for Yong. Oh no, definitely not for him.

“I’ve met the moon,” Varian responds. “Personally, not her biggest fan.”

---

Meanwhile, Hugo is waving his hand over the dazed princess. “Goggles, I think she’s broken.”

“I’ve never seen anyone so perfect in my life,” Nuru squeals, hugging Varian as she recalls the wondrous sea creature. “We don’t have anything like him back in my kingdom.”

“Have…you seriously never seen a seal?” Varian asks, dumfounded.

“When you grow up in a kingdom constantly bombarded by meteors, you…don’t get much in the way of wildlife,” Nuru responds, an intense gaze in her eyes as she jumps up. Resolutely, she looks forward, determination laced in her voice. “I’m going to rescue Trevor Jr. from that wretched king.”

“You’ll start a war if you do that, Nuru.” Perhaps it had been the stressful day that he has had. Afterall, he was slapped by a seal, only to be nearly executed. Yong was whisked away by a king, and Nuru wants to steal a seal. Somehow, his only ally in this madness was the source of his many, many migraines. Varian leans in to Hugo, sighing as he closes his eyes in tiredness. “The king will be after our heads.”

A luminescent blush forms on his face as Varian leans against him. The alchemist had always been oblivious to his attempts at courting him. That, or downright sadistic in his dismissals. He’d rather be turned down right then and there rather than holding onto false hope. Even if he were to tell Varian directly that he liked him, the alchemist, bless his poor, oblivious heart, would merely smile and say, “I like you too, Hugo. You’re a good friend.”

But now, with Princess Nuru on the hunt for blood, and Yong somehow becoming royalty, he…can make his move. Finally, this will be his one and only chance. The perfect moment to ask the shorter alchemist out on a date.

“No fair,” Nuru says, sticking her tongue out at Varian.

Since when has she been such a brat, Varian wonders in sheer exhaustion and annoyance.

“Worry not, goggles,” Hugo laughs, glancing over at Nuru as she makes a hasty [and certainly not discrete] exit. “She’s at that age when there’s only one thing on her mind.”

“Homicide?” Varian mumbles, burying his face onto Hugo’s arm.

“No. Well, yes, but aren’t we all?” the bespectacled man replies sincerely. “She’s partaking in the age-old tradition of over-throwing the monarchy.”

“Oh.”

“Absolutely right you are, hairstripe,” Hugo responds, squinting as he gazes up at the sky. Quite some time had passed; he’s sure it’s well past lunch with the insanity that they had been pulled into. “So….”

“Sooooooo,” Varian says. “Want to grab a bite to eat?”

“Hell yes,” Hugo beams.

---

After breaking away from Varian and Hugo, Nuru had made off towards the castle. Certainly, it was not easy to miss—the sight of its gaudy walls was impossible to not see even from a distance. She was never one for physically taxing activities such as running across a large populated city, but with the powers of sheer determination and spite, she was ready as she would ever be.

With a seal to save, Nuru knew she could accomplish anything.

Sneaking into the castle was easy enough…surprisingly, or not. King Trevor did not have much in the way of military or police, but what he did have…were portraits of himself. A chill ran down her spine as she avoided the smarmy gaze of the portraits, who, while a fraction as annoying as the king…did not amount to much.

“I’ll save you, Trevor Jr.,” she promises, as she crosses past yet another seal statue.

Only the sounds of her nimble footsteps break the paper-thin stillness of the castle. For a place that should be brimming with life [especially as it is the daytime], she had not seen eye or flipper of any humans or seals. The lunar princess continues to walk in silence, but there it is. She detects movement at the corner of her eye.

It is soft, quiet, as if…someone else were sneaking around. Could this be an ally or a foe? Both outcomes were possible in a kingdom with a king like Trevor.

Nuru darts behind a seal statue, waiting quietly, anxious as to whom she will possibly see. She waits and waits…

Another moment passes, but the mystery person never arrives.

“Guess I was worried over nothing,” Nuru laughs, still feeling a bit uneasy and agitated over what could have been.

“Hiya, Nuru!!”

She certainly did not jump up in surprise at the sound of Yong’s voice. If anyone asks, she…saw a spider. Yes, that was it. That was definitely, most certainly the one and only reason.

Somehow, without her notice, he had snuck past her…and has discovered her hiding place behind the gaudy [begrudgingly cute] seal statue.

“What are you doing here?” they both simultaneously ask.

“You first,” they both say.

Yong beams up at her, hand pressed over his heart. “I want to make my father proud.”

“Oh,” Nuru responds, struggling between her emotions of rescuing Trevor Jr., destroying Equis, and not disappointing Yong…which would be an inexcusable in and of itself. She’s about to say more, but the shorter boy merely pulls at her sleeve.

“Are you planning to take Trevor Jr.?” Yong is not looking at her. Rather, his gaze is directed somewhere far ahead.

“What if I say I am?” the princess inquires, arms crossed in defiance. Her loyalty towards him is great, but the seal…it beckons to her with its smart, inquisitive ‘arf’. “What will you do then, Yong?”

He is silent. Nuru feels beads of sweat roll down her face in anticipation. Another moment passes, and then another, until…Yong beams up at her with the cheeriest expression she had yet ever seen on him or any other person. “Will it make my father proud if we release Trevor Jr. into the sea?”

She narrows her eyes at Yong, searching his face for any signs of betrayal or trickery. But…there is nothing. Only a hint of mischief in his smile. “Yes,” she concedes. “I suppose it will make him proud.”

At this, Yong cackles, hands raised to his sides as one would see on a mad scientist. Maybe…he has been spending too much time with Varian, Nuru notes, slightly disturbed and yet…impressed.

---

Honestly, Hugo does not know what to make of this situation. They had been off in-search of the perfect sandwich shop [he wanted to spend time with Varian, but he wasn’t lying. It was well past three and he was starving], but…he got neither a date nor a sandwich. Instead, he was granted the fortune of sneaking into a stupid king’s castle and no lunch. He at least had Varian by his side, but…he really wanted food. Even a cracker would do at this point.

He had originally thought the princess to be prissy and snuck-up like the nobles back home, but she had quickly gone above his expectations. Hugo could nearly cry at the proud feelings he felt as he saw her sneak into the castle.

Nuru was completely insane. She was feral in her attempts to rescue this seal through and through, and he could not get any prouder.

Truly, he was proud of her. He would very much like to shake her hand under any given circumstance and take her under his wing, but now…he is just irritated and very hungry. How long they had been wandering the corridors of this castle, he does not know. He eyes glance down towards Varian, and…yeah. The shorter alchemist definitely looks to be on edge, not that the [creepy] portraits the king had ‘decorated’ the castle with have done to help.

Hell, they…had stumbled upon one room in-which King Trevor had taped his face on top of a family portrait…which he had somehow stolen(?) from the king of Corona. It was very, very creepy. He and Varian are both convinced that he is stalking the poor queen, but…that is a disturbing problem for another day. Faces blank, they both sped walked out of that room, eyes downcast underneath the watchful gaze of the Queen Arianna and his royal travesty, King Trevor.

“Ugh, where do you think Nuru ran off to?” Hugo complains, cringing at yet another excessively ornate and gaudy portrait of the king.

Varian shoots him a quick glance. “If I knew, we wouldn’t be here.”

Their steps continue across the empty castle…really, the sight is rather eerie if Hugo were to be honest. Unfortunately, their luck had just about run out. Rounding a corner, there…are two guards sporting the official crest of Equis.

“Great, just our luck,” Varian sighs. The guards seem to have heard their voices. Quickly, the younger alchemist grabs his hand before shoving the both of them into a broom closet. It’s rather small, and uncomfortable, but…hopefully, the guards will not think to look here.

“This cannot possibly be your brilliant plan, goggles,” Hugo deadpans, trying no to stammer at how close they are.

Varian merely rolls his eyes at the taller alchemist. “Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

Hugo locks eyes with Varian, mouth agape as the goggles he wears around his neck are grabbed until he is at eye-level with the alchemist. His mind is floundering. He cannot think, cannot speak, and Varian…his eyes had always been so blue. But, they almost seem to be glowing…or maybe it’s the theoretical sparks that he had always heard about literally igniting in his head. He had always prided himself on his persona—the suave playboy act that he had crafted for himself.

And yet, all it took was for a smart, stupid, but surprisingly kind alchemist to undo all of his hard work.

He makes a move to say something, but Varian merely glares past him.

“Do you mind?” the shorter alchemist drawls, voice as sharp and scathing as a freshly sharpened knife. Hugo inwardly protests at Varian’s withdrawal, but he is still reeling. Had…Varian finally realized his feelings for him? Were his affections finally reciprocated?

“Ahem,” a guard coughs into the crook of his arm, eyes averted from Varian’s icy gaze. “Sorry for interrupting you two. Uh, carry on……”

"Lousy teenagers,' Hugo hears them say.

Varian listens to their footsteps fade away before devolving into a fit of laughter. He wipes at his eyes, grinning brightly at Hugo as he helps him out of the broom closet. “I can’t believe that worked!”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Hugo responds, still clearly dazed. Wait…worked? Was this a setup!?

As he listens to Varian drone on about ‘The Adventures of Flynn Rider’, his face must be undeniably crestfallen. All it takes is one look for the dark-haired alchemist to immediately shut up. Now silent, the duo continues to walk across the marble floors of the castle with only the gaudy decorations adorning its walls for company.

Varian wants to break the silence somehow, but there’s something off about Hugo. His demeanor had soured, but it’s not even just that. He seems more agreeable and not at all his usual sarcastic self. There are no taunts or joking retorts. The bespectacled man merely seems to be lost in his own thoughts. It should be a welcome change, but considering everything that they had gone through this day, he cannot help but worry. He raises his head and reaches for Hugo, only to jump up in surprise at the large cacophony of wild laughter and screams coming from down the hall.

Their senses are immediately filled with the bitter scent of smoke, and…yeah. Looks like they found Yong, and…judging by the sound of rushing water, they’d bet Nuru was there with him.

Without giving it a second thought, Varian grabs Hugo’s hand and races down the hallway with him in tow.

In other circumstances, Hugo would complain. But with Varian, he would follow him til’ the ends of the earth.

“REVOLUTION!! FREEDOM FOR ALL!” Nuru cackles as she races down the hall with not just Trevor Jr. following her, but another seal with a slightly smaller crown. “We will not stand for this tyranny any longer, isn’t that right, Yong!?”

“Stick it to the man!” Yong pumps his fists into the air. He, too, has decided to partake in this bout of teenage rebellion. The hallway is billowing gray smoke, and they can hear the angered screams of…what appears to be the king.

Varian stares at Trevor Jr.

The seal stares back.

---

Somehow, despite everything, they have finally made it out of the kingdom of Equis [relatively] unscathed. Varian is sure he may have lost a bit of his sanity, but…that would not be the first time it happened. And he is sure it most certainly will not be the last.

As he looks back towards Nuru and her new seal brethren, he is sure of it.

The kingdom of Equis may have sworn vengeance against them and their descendents for generations to come, but…Varian can live with that. But what he cannot possibly understand, however, is Yong’s toothy grin. It is unsettling with just how plain cheery this boy can be. If he could, he’d ignore it. But, Yong’s incessant wide-eyed gaze will not cease until he gets to say whatever it is in that strange, strange, terrifying mind of his.

“Yes, Yong, what is it?” Varian sighs for the umpteenth time that day.

Yong beams up at the alchemist. “Do you think my dad will finally be proud of me?”

Why, I don’t know, Yong, he murmurs to himself. He had set King Trevor’s castle on fire, lied, cheated, and stolen his royal seal… “Yeah, I guess.”

“Great,” Yong chirps. “Maybe now I’ll be the favorite child!”

At this, the three older teens stop in the tracks, staring mouths agape at the would-be arsonist.

“Dad hates King Trevor,” the short boy explains, grinning up at his friends. “Something about a fireworks deal gone wrong…”

His sentence falls into obscurity. But, these are words best left unsaid.

“Well, you’re my favorite,” Hugo quips, patting Yong on the head.

“Agreed,” Nuru replies. “You can do no wrong.”

Varian looks from Hugo to Nuru to Yong.

He shrugs.

Yeah, he can do no wrong.

#Tangled #Tangled the Series #Varian and the Seven Kingdoms #Varian #Varian Tangled #Hugo the Human #Nuru Tangled #Yong Tangled #Varigo #Fanfic

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hyumjim · 4 years

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In a move that’s pretty unusual for a k-pop group, 7/8 members of the girl group ANS have announced their disbandment in a letter they posted themselves on their fansite, and the letter very frankly discusses their frustrations with their agency’s management of them– or lack thereof. With most groups, announcements like this would be vetted by tons of agency staff before they ever hit the internet. But it turns out that ANS were able to do this because they were running their fansite themselves, just like they were doing everything else ANS-related themselves, because apparently the company that was supposed to be managing them… was not actually managing them:

 “Our agency, ANS Entertainment had dismissed almost all of their staff once in March and once in April. They have dismissed the staff members who took care of us including our manager. Therefore, we were without any managers […] We did not even have a practice studio.  Because we were without a manager, we had to contact and plan our schedules ourselves. We also managed the fansites ourselves and acted like a staff was managing it[…]  This is something shameful but none of our members were able to receive any vocal lessons, and each of our members received only 10,000 KRW (~8 USD) per day for our meals. This wasn’t even given to us during the weekends.  In actuality, we did not receive any support or management. We had requested the agency for at least vocal lessons, but the agency rejected our request, stating they did not have the money for it. We understand the difficult situation due to the corona outbreak but the agency has neglected us too much. Furthermore, we could not just sit idly when we thought about the fans who have many expectations from us.  Therefore, we hired a legal representative and sent a statement to the agency requesting them to follow through with the contract we have made - hiring a manager for the group, having a company office space, providing dance and vocal lessons. We requested the agency to deliver the proper measures within 14 days or we will take legal actions for the breach in contract. However, the agency did not take the proper measurements of our request. Instead, they called one of our members’ mothers and threatened us saying, “The agency did nothing wrong. We will be taking the members with good temper and leave the rest to rot like garbage. We will create a blacklist so that they can’t do anything in this field. We will make them so depressed so they can’t do anything except stay at home.”  In response to this, we could not bear this any longer. That is why we have notified the agency of the termination of our contracts.  This is when the issue with Haena arose.  At the likely time when we had sent the statement to the agency, the agency began speaking about the issue with Haena[…]  In actuality, the relationship between us and Haena was not bad. In our opinions, we did not have any special problems with Haena.  Haena joined ANS in December of 2019. She was the youngest member of our group and was attending high school at the time. This year, our group was not able to promote as much because of the circumstances with the company. Therefore, we did not spend much time with her.  The only conflict we had with Haena was when we convinced her to go back to school when she decided not to go anymore after being tested for the coronavirus.  There was a person who tested positive for the virus at the internet cafe that Haena had gone to. So Haena received testing on May 29th. Fortunately, Haena tested negative and the quarantine authorities notified her to quarantine herself for an additional three days.  During that period we were taking care of Haena’s school notices when we received a phone call from Haena’s homeroom teacher. Haena’s teacher told us on June 8th that Haena had not returned to school even after the additional three days of quarantine and did not contact the school to tell them the reason for her absence.  The teacher revealed to us that Haena had missed many school days with the excuse of promoting with the group and the agency. She even told the school on the day of her graduation photos that she had a work schedule with the agency and did not show up to school. When we backtracked, we did not have any schedules on the day of graduation photography. That is when we called Haena out to a cafe and told her the conversation we had with her homeroom teacher. We asked her what was going on and she was not able to clearly answer. She said it was her personal issue. Our members went on to rebuke her that lying is not good and to discuss with us if she has any issues. We encouraged her to do better in the future and we did not curse at her or even raise our voices at her.  To be honest, these kinds of management should have been done by the agency but we had to manage Haena’s school attendance as well because the agency did not do it.  The next day, Haena contacted one of our members and told her that Haena had been suffering from mental issues. Haena stated that she wanted to talk with her parents before making any decisions. We told her that we all respect Haena on her decision and to tell us after speaking with the agency. However, Haena stopped replying to any of us thereafter. Then on June 12th, she contacted two members saying ‘I’m in a mentally difficult state so I couldn’t reply. I’m sorry. I will contact you after I get better.’ That was Haena’s last message with us. Haena did not even attend the fan meeting that took place on June 20th and we went through difficulty trying to change the choreography to fill in Haena’s absence.  Then, the company notified us after we sent them the statement that Haena had gone to the hospital because of us. They told us to go to the hospital to visit Haena but we were wary that the agency might plan something against us. So we were scared and was not able to even contact Haena. Fortunately, there was nothing too serious with Haena and we were told she was sent home. We were relieved to hear the news.  In fact, Haena was having a hard time because of the unclear future due to the agency’s circumstances. She also revealed that she was financially having difficulties because we were not receiving any monetary support from the company.  All our members have no ill-feeling towards Haena, nor did we have any before. We want to resolve any misunderstandings we have between Haena by openly speaking with her.  However, the issue with Haena occurred right around the time when the issue with the contract occurred. When we look back at the time when the agency spoke ill of us and threatened us, we are suspicious the agency has used Haena to obscure the issue with the contract[…]”

 I feel awful for all of the girls and I think what they have done here was brave and necessary. Poor Haena is only 18 and the oldest of them is only 23. It seems to me like they were all backed into a corner. Their agency put them in the impossible situation of managing their own group, in every aspect; marketing, event planning, not to mention choreo and vocal training, and even acting as surrogate guardians to their youngest member, all for EIGHT DOLLARS A DAY. (I especially think it is so goddamn unconscionable to make a group of young women responsible for their youngest member’s education as if they’re her parents; they were literally having parent teacher conferences and shit, which is insane.) In light of all that, it’s no surprise the youngest member had a mental breakdown, after having her own agency literally threaten to ruin her life! Even worse, after they did all of that, the company apparently then tried to take advantage of Haena’s inevitable breakdown and leverage it– thinking they’d be able to gain traction probably because of AOA/Mina’s situation– against the other girls to try and stop their story from getting out. 

More than just mismanagement of idols, this is a story of mistreatment and cruelty from an agency, and I hope they face the music soon, no pun intended. 

The girls signed this letter with their stage names probably because that’s how their fans know them, but those names were probably chosen for them by the company… Then again who knows– maybe the agency didn’t bother and just said you girls can come up with them yourselves, we don’t care. That seems in-character for them. 

Anyway, their last comeback was “Say My Name,” so we might as well address them by their real names since they won’t be ANS anymore. 

Hyunjoo, Sejin, Yeji, Sohyun, Seoyoung, Jiwon, Dayoung and Eunbi! I hope they are all able to recover well from being treated so poorly. Whether it’s as idols or not, I’ll keep following them and I hope they see much better days soon!  (…On the bright side, there’s no reason to take their management’s threats of blacklisting seriously on any level, since this is the same company that couldn’t scrape together a few dollars for vocal lessons. If the company had that kind of influence in the industry then they wouldn’t have been broke in the first place lol. They are so broke, they couldn’t blacklist their way out of a paper bag.)

#their so-called 'management' MUMBLING AND CACKLING MUMBLING AND CACKLING #BROKE PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER LAUGH #ANS #sorry i had to delete this and reupload because tumblrs link function is broken garbage <3 so it is just text now but u can click through.

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saltyslack-toast · 4 years

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#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

#book #book quotes #bookaholic #booknerd #book review #the devil all the time #donald ray pollock #religion #review #novel #thriller #psychological #tom holland #robert pattinson #bill skasgård #sebastian stan

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rsbry-beret · 4 years

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Wasting Away Again

Find it on Ao3 here!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159175

Tobin was drunk again. On a Tuesday. He hadn’t meant to, really...

(that was a lie. At work that day, he had watched Joan call Leif into her office with a look on her face that told Tobin everything he needed to know. Tobin tried so hard to keep working, he really did, but his eyes kept finding Leif through the glass walls. At one point Tobin had glanced over and the two of them were gone. Leif showed up half an hour later with his hair neatly re-done and a red, angry scratch mark poking up his neck. Tobin tried not to notice.)

(He noticed, though. He really noticed.)

… but there he was, most of the way through a six pack of Corona, slumped limply on his living room carpet. Tobin slid down from where he was propped up against the couch, falling in slow motion until he was curled up in a ball on his side, beer can still clutched tightly in his grip.

Thank goodness Leif was out with Joan tonight. Tobin didn’t want him to see him like this.

(Leif had seen him at worse. Leif had seen Tobin at rock bottom, and Leif was there to take him home and sit with him in the bathtub because Tobin had wanted to take a shower but gave up before he even turned the water on. Leif hadn’t left when Tobin broke down and started sobbing into Leif’s stupid 100% cotton cardigan, even though the snot would probably ruin it. Leif had stayed there with him all night, and then called them both in sick the next day, and hadn’t even made Tobin talk about his feelings, about why he had felt the need to go get wasted instead of just talking to Leif, instead of telling him what had happened with- Leif had seen him at worse. Maybe Tobin just didn’t want to Leif, right then.)

Tobin stayed on the floor. He tilted his face down into the carpet, slightly grey in that gross way that all things once white end up being. He considered laughing for a moment, because it seemed like the sort of thing that a drunk person should do, but he decided against it, just pressed his face harder into the floor, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Maybe Leif would get home and find him and make him alphabet soup. Or something. Maybe Leif would see that Tobin was upset and instantly understand, the way Tobin always kind of hoped Leif would learn how to do, because they were best friends and he was pretty sure best friends were supposed to be able to read each other’s minds. Maybe Leif would get home and just hold him, tight and warm and solid.

Maybe Leif would stay the night at Joan’s. Probably that would be what happened.

The lock clicked, echoing through the apartment. Tobin didn’t bother getting up. If it was a burglar, they wouldn’t have a key, so it had to be-

Shit.

Tobin turned his face to the side, opening his eyes to blurrily watch brown loafers stop in front of his head.

“Tobes, dude, what the hell?” Leif sounded pissed. Which was weird, actually, because he had just got home from a date and usually he was in a good mood after he got some.

And if he wasn’t happy, then Tobin would have expected him to sound disappointed at seeing Tobin laying on the ground, surrounded by empty cans.

And if he wasn’t disappointed, then Tobin thought Leif would sound sad. Sad because he couldn’t… fix him, or whatever.

But Leif sounded angry. Like, really fucking angry. Kylo Ren, kicking puppies, dealing with window salesmen level angry.

At Tobin. Angry at Tobin.

Tobin considered the idea in his head for a second. Leif was mad at Tobin. Okay, why? It could be because he had drank, like, all the beer in the apartment. It could be because he had maybe, sort of, accidentally spilled some on the once-white carpet and not cleaned it up. It could be because Tobin had left his jacket on the floor, even though he knew Leif hated that. It could be because Tobin was a total wreck and ruining this awesome night that Leif had just had without him, and maybe Leif would decide that Tobin was too high-maintenance and kick him out of the apartment and decide to never talk to him again, and Tobin would have to quit his job out of shame and go work at Rite-Aid or 7-11 or Apple, or somewhere equally humiliating and beneath his pay grade.

“Sit up.” Tobin swayed upright, overshooting a little before leaning back against the couch for support. He looked blankly up at Leif, who had his arms crossed. He looked like Tobin’s mom the first time she had to pick him up from the police department. “Dude. What the fuck happened?”

Tobin shrugged. He hoped that Leif would get to the part where he kicked him out soon. He wasn’t sure if he could handle a whole speech beforehand.

Leif huffed out a breath. He was still wearing his coat, weirdly enough, which meant that he had seen the living room light on and the tv off and his jacket on the floor and had known that Tobin was going to be here, and had decided to come and yell at him before he even took his coat off. Or his shoes.

“Tobin. I’m gonna need a little more from you, buddy. What the actual fuck are you doing right now?”

Tobin glared at his knees, which were poking up awkwardly between his torso and the coffee table. Tobin had stupid knees. “Drinking.”

“No shit.” Leif sat down on the couch, like a civilized person or something. Tobin tried not to notice that he didn’t reach out to pet Tobins hair like he usually did when they sat like this.

Tobin resolutely didn’t say anything else. His feet were stupid, too, trapped underneath the table. He could feel his socks, slipping off his feet just a little bit. Stupid socks. Stupid coffee table. Stupid Tobin, for drinking all the beer.

“Tobin,” Leif said, still sounding mad.

Tobin twisted around at his hips painfully, feet still stuck beneath the table, and stared at Leif for half a second before looking away, at the modern art that Leif chose for the apartment because he said it gave the room ‘personality’.

“Sorry I drank all the beer,” Tobin said, and Leif deflated. Tobin watched, half in awe, as Leif melted completely into the pillows.

“Tobin,” Leif repeated, then again, “Tobin. I’m not mad that you drank the beer. Well, I am, but… I’m mad because you got crazy drunk instead of just talking to me about whatever ridiculous thing you let get under your skin this time. I’m mad because I don’t know what the ridiculous thing is.”

Which, actually, was a pretty insensitive way of phrasing that, and Tobin opened his mouth to tell Leif that but what he ended up saying was “I’m in love with you.”

Leif froze. Tobin felt like maybe he should, too, but then he realized that he’d already said the words, and regretting saying them wasn’t going to make them un-say themselves.

Hahah. ‘Un-say’. National spelling bee champ, right here.

“You what?” Leif asked, sitting upright, coat left hanging half-on and half-off of his arms. Tobin stayed facing him, even though it hurt his neck and his side and his thighs, a little bit.

Tobin considered the empty beer cans on the carpet. Tobin considered how often he drank, and how high his tolerance was, and the fact that when he felt miserable he tended to get dramatic when he had an excuse, and Tobin came to the unpleasant conclusion that he probably wasn’t as drunk as he was pretending to be. That he probably just wanted a good reason to lay on the floor.

“I love you, bro. Full homo. In love with you.” Now that he’d said the words, he couldn’t get them to stop. “Since, like, junior year of Highschool probably, because I remember you walked into advanced statistics and your stupid tie matched your socks and I heard fucking… Mary Lawrence started giggling from the third row and I was so ready to just punch her, you have no idea, dude.” Tobin inhaled, taking in a deep breath.

“Because first year of college, you passed out during your computer science midterms and the professor knew to call my cell phone, because apparently you had sharpied my number on your arm in case that happened.

“Because when I brought that fucking ferret to work on Take Your Kid To Work day, you insisted on going into Joans office with me, even though you didn’t even know I was gonna do it, because you knew that it’d look less bad if you were in on it.

“And because when my mom… yeah, you let me ruin your stupid January cardigan, and-“

Leif bent over and kissed Tobin on the forehead. It looked like an insanely uncomfortable way to bend, and Tobin’s suspicions were confirmed when Leif pulled back immediately and winced. Tobin stopped talking anyway, before pushing himself out from under the coffee table and onto the couch beside him.

Tobin looked at Leif. Leif looked at Tobin and grinned wide. “You know which cardigan I wear each month?”

That was… a weird thing to focus on, considering everything Tobin had just said.

“Yeah?”

Leif swayed forward and kissed Tobin again, this time on the corner of his mouth.

“Woah woa- wait, okay.” Tobin set his hand against Leif’s chest to push him lightly away, not bothering to remove his hand afterwards. “Not that I’m not totally on board with whatever’s happening here but first of all- what is happening and second of all, aren’t you dating Joan? Didn’t you literally just get back from a date with Joan?”

Leif squinted. “Me and Joan aren’t dating. When I said I had a business meeting with her, I actually meant, like… a business meeting.”

Tobin made a noise deep in the back of his throat, like he was thinking about something. He wasn’t really thinking about much of anything. He was more than a little confused. “You do have sex, though?”

Leif flushed and looked away for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I mean- yeah, we have sex. But it’s notexclusive. She’s got her thing with Ava and I…” He trailed off.

Which, okay, that’s a lot of information at once, but more importantly- “and you…?”

Leif gulped, and Tobin could almost feel it from where he was touching his chest. “And I’m in love with you.” He glanced down at Tobin’s lips, then up again. “Full homo.”

“Oh. Cool.” Tobin jolted forward at full speed, slamming into Leif and basically attacking him with his mouth, sloppy and gross and honestly, not really that attractively. Tobin's hand was still trapped between them, and Leif was too off-guard to do much in the way of response, but it wasn’t about kissing, really. It was about saying I’m here, I’m here, I love you too and I’m here.

Tobin pulled away as quickly as he had pushed forward. “Holy shit, I’m kissing Leif Donnelly.”

“Is that what that was?” Leif quipped wryly, or in a tone of voice that would have been wry if his glasses weren’t crooked and his cheeks weren’t bright red.

“I know that was an insult but I’m too happy to care. Holy fucking shit, I just kissed Leif Donnelly.” Tobin beamed at Leif, with his crooked glasses and all. “Seventh-grade-Tobin is crying tears of joy right now. Honestly, current-Tobin might start, too.”

“I thought you said eleventh grade?” Leif reached back to flatten down his hair. It poofed back up again as soon as he moved his hand away.

“No, dude, I fell in love with you in eleventh grade. I’ve wanted to jump your bones since I knew what it meant.” Leif blushed again. “I don’t really want to share you, though.”

Leif smiles awkwardly. God, Tobin had kissed him. “That’s okay. I don’t really want to either.”

Tobin leaned forward, resting his head in the crook of Leif’s neck and smiling. “It’s because I’m way hotter than Joan. I’m warning you now, man, once you get a taste of Tobin everyone else will be ruined for you.”

Tobin heard Leif let out a soft laugh. “Honestly, Tobes, I think they already are. Wait, that didn’t make much sense, I meant- yeah, I agree with you, you’re hotter than Joan.”

Tobin started laughing, quietly at first and then louder, into Leif’s February cardigan. After some grumbling Leif started laughing too, before leaning back on the couch and letting Tobin rest on top of him.

“You totally still owe me more beer, though.”

Tobin shut him up.

Title from Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. All hail the angel @opheli-bob who gave me the prompt :)

#coder boyfriends #leif donnelly #leif x tobin #tobin batra #zep #zep fanfic #zep fanfiction #confession #fet together #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #i love you #full homo #im uploading everything i forgot to earlier this week #sah dude #my posts #my fanfic

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hanramm156 · 4 years

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Rammstein Family Game: Get to know me! (Warning: a long ramble)

I’m honored to be tagged by @cherrisplace and @momoredcrow. ^^ It’s been a pleasure to read other people’s Rammstein memories and opinions, so here comes mine as well. Writing is one of those rare things that keep me sane during this crazy season, so I apologize this being super long. More rambling is probably coming when everything’s cancelled and I have nothing else to do.

Rules: There are no rules. Tag whoever you want. Don’t tag yourself. Tag yourself. You don’t have to answer all the questions. Do what you please. Have fun.

Created by: @vapor-stein

1. I’m curious: when did you discover Rammstein?

2004 properly, but I might have heard Du hast or other popular songs even earlier.

2. Tell me your story. How did you discover them?

As said, it was 2004 and I was watching some random Finnish music show. Back in the days, I watched a lot of music videos from the tv and recorded my favorite ones to VHS. One evening Rammstein’s Amerika came from the show and I was like “??? What on earth is this??? Sounds interesting…”. I wasn’t into metal music back then (I mostly listened to indiepop and alternative rock), but for whatever reason, I got hooked instantly to this German band’s dark, eerie sound. It was refreshing to hear something else than English and the video was also thrilling.

Rammstein had intruded my mind already, but the final straw was when I saw the Mein Teil video. I liked both the song and the video A LOT - so much that I even felt kinda “dirty” for liking something this dark. A 14-year-old me was constantly asking from myself that: “am I even allowed to like this kind of stuff this much?”. The backstory for the song was creepy, but so mesmerizing – like I had been introduced to the darkest corners of human mind: yes, this kind of stuff happens, and we shouldn’t close our eyes from it. So next, the only thing I could do was to buy Reise, reise album, listen to it on loop and sketch my German notebook full of Rammstein lyrics. Here’s a proof:

I have so many stories about my relationship to Rammstein that I might have to write them all down now when there’s a lot of time.

3. Favourite song?

This topic would be worth a novel itself, but here are some of my favorites:

Asche zu Asche – So badass, gives me such an energy every time – plus, not to forget the burning microphones and SILVER REESH!

Bück dich – Yes, it’s a horrible story once again in this song, but I can’t help but to admit that the song is freaking catchy and in a weird way, hot. Also, there’s a funny backstory when I was in 9th grade and we almost performed this song in our official graduation party with my boyfriend and a bunch of our friends (maybe good that the idea was abandoned in the end…). We had a vague clue what the song was about, but we just thought it was funny – also, our German teacher dressed always in leather and loved Rammstein (she played us Bestrafe mich during one class and I’ll always remember the awkward atmosphere) so we were thinking to dedicate the song to her for as our goodbye. XDD Seriously, why I have been so weird for all my life…

Sehnsucht – In most of the pop songs, longing is described by tender words and soft lyrics, but not in Rammstein’s case. I’ve had this weird feeling of “longing” all my life that I can’t describe properly. It’s kind of an inner emptiness, only arts and music can help to deal with it when it hits. I think Sehnsucht describes so realistically what is longing about in reality: it’s this angry pressure in your heart which you want to get out of your chest but can’t. In the end, you just want to scream your lungs out.

Mein Herz brennt – Powerful song that always gives me goosebumps. I can’t even explain why. Maybe the fact that “tough” men being emotional is my soft spot and Rammstein hits that spot hard.

Links 2-3-4 – I have always been kind of a rebel and I feel like when everyone else is going to the “right” I have to go to the left, to the unknown. My heart is longing for adventure, for the paths the others are not going. I dunno, but this is such a powerful song for me. When I hear it, I always just want to jump around. In Tampere concert I went totally nuts when Links started as the second song, lol. From that moment I felt like I was back home with my boys.

Mein Teil – No need for further explanations anymore.

Los – The harmonica solo!!! The dropped c tuning and the acoustic sounds!! I love it.

Amour – My favorite R+ ballad. I confess that I listen to this and think about the lyrics when I’m in the mood for writing something painfully romantic.

Weit weg – There’s this painful longing once again that always resonates to me. I listened this to a lot after the “after blues” of Ratina concert.

Tattoo – A song that I didn’t care about so much at first, but for whatever reason, it’s almost my favorite from the new album nowadays. It’s catchy as hell and I like the “rattling” guitar riffs.

4. Least favourite song? Come on. I know you have one.

Feuer frei – Too much Vin Diesel vibes. I also get a picture of drunken, middle-aged Finnish guys on a R+ gig who don’t care about to band, but just want to have a party of their life and get drunk, far away from their wives. (No offense to anyone, but as music is almost like a religion to me, I can’t help but to have a bit of disrespect for kind of people who just “consume” music.)

Pussy – Both musically and lyrically, so bad, but I get the point the guys tried to give with this nonsense.

5. Favourite album? & 6. Least favourite album? aka. I ramble about all the albums.

Tough one… as the rules were vague, I decided to have a short opinion about each of the albums.

Herzeleid – Summary: a bunch of guys, born and raised in DDR, are tired of everything so they get together and play aggressive songs - you can almost smell the testosterone miles away while you are listening to this album. I have to admit that I love this album even though it’s not musically super creative. It’s just raw men with raw feelings – and I have to say, it works for me.

Sehnsucht – I was creeped out of the album art as a teenager, lol. But yeah, musically improved from the former one and there are some classic songs that make Rammstein as they are nowadays. I listen to this often when I’m driving.

Mutter – The album that they had the most struggles with if I have understood correctly. The pain can be heard through the songs and it’s so honest and raw. I lost my friend in 2004 tragically and this album was one of the things that kept me sane back then. Especially the beginning of the album (MHB, Links, Sonne) hits me hard in the guts.

Reise, reise – The album that started all this hype in me, so it has a special place in my heart. I also liked how they tried something different to their usual sounds in this one, like orchestral and acoustic songs.

Rosenrot – To be honest, this album has always left me a bit “cold”, so I cannot even make a real opinion of it. There are some good moments though, like Mann gegen Mann that really speaks to me.

Untitled: This has been on the loop since last August and I was honestly surprised how good the album was. I hadn’t listened to Rammstein for a while, but when I got this album to my hands after the concert, holy shit it hit me. I like hearing the path the guys have gone: their new music is much more mature than the first angry albums. Also, I love Till’s poetry in this one, like Was ich liebe and Weit weg.

I think I answered the question #7 already, so I’ll skip to #8.

8. Unpopular opinion about a member? A scandal? Anything?

Even though I appreciate Till as an artist and a poet, I don’t find his appearance attractive. You can throw rotten tomatoes at me now, but this is just my opinion, no means to offend anyone. Maybe the reason is that my taste for men tends to go for androgynous side, so I am not drawn towards very masculine men.

I’m not interested in Lindemann project and I don’t like their music so much, but the tour looked entertaining though. I bet all the people who attended had a lot of fun.

How Richard pronounces English is extremely sexy to my ear, even though it clearly sounds like a German guy trying to sound American - still, it’s like honey to my ears. Stupid man who makes my knees weak with everything he does.

I hate to admit that I don’t like Ohne dich so much. I don’t know why. :(

9. Have you ever seen them live? Tell me what you felt.

Three times this far! Oh man, I could talk about for hours how the concerts have made me feel, but I try to be reasonable now.

Ruisrock, Turku, 2005 – My first time seeing them live – and going to a festival without any adult supervision, so it was a special experience overall – and they blew my mind. It was raining and thundering and we were completely soaked with my friends, but it was worth it!

Bonus for everyone who managed to read this far: teenage me waiting for Rammstein to start playing, looking so badass with my denim jacket and R+ logo drawn with eyeliner. :D

Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, 2012: We went to the show together with my boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s day and holy shiiiiit it was awesome. Hands down one of the best evenings of my life. I was so hooked to Rammstein afterward that when we were at my bf’s family’s cottage, his brother had to tell me to stop blasting Herzeleid all the time in the kitchen. :’D

Ratina Stadium, Tampere, 2019: Aka. byebye my life, say hello to fics, listening to the band all over again, stupid memes and all the content this fandom creates. I fell in love again with Rammstein during this concert.

I have tickets for Düsseldorf and Tallinn, but now I can only wait and stress that will Corona ruin everything. In that case, I’ll weep alone and write fics about the tour 2020 that ended up never happening.

10. Do you play any instruments? If you do can you play any song by them?

Yeah, I play guitar and piano but nowadays I mostly sing. Rammstein songs are super easy to play with guitar and I recently learnt to play Tattoo and Sex. Have been practicing Engle on piano as well. Some songs I like to sing are Deutschland, Tattoo and Engel. The “speaking” parts are difficult though. ^^;

I’m not sure who I could tag to this who hasn’t done it already, but I’ll try my luck: @ah-its-too-much @soronya @einemelodie @xiaolianhuax @so-darya-darya @maximaembra @kvidasjuklingur

#rammstein #tag game #get to know me #hanhan's rambles #I spent ridiculous amount of time doing this #whatever

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justalittlelitnerd · 4 years

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The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams

“First rule of book club?” They finished in unison. “You don’t talk about book club.” What. The. Fuck

So I’ve been wanting to read this book since before it came out, but just wasn’t in the place to buy it so when I got an email from Amazon saying the Kindle version was on sale for $3 I wasn’t going to pass up the chance. And I’m glad I waited until it was on sale because I was just a little bit disappointed. For the most part, I think it’s once again a case of failing to manage my expectations. If I had gone into this book thinking it was simply a cute rom-com about a failing marriage than I think I would have enjoyed it well enough. But this book was so well talked about I expected something more.

The book club was funnier than I expected with all the men being characters in their own rights and I loved that it presented the opportunity for them to tackle toxic masculinity, gender roles, and feminism. I thought it was interesting that Gavin had a stutter that he was super insecure about because it felt like a twist on the standard athlete romance since he lacked a certain confidence that is usually synonymous with competing in the major leagues.

Additionally, I’m not sure if the twins were absolutely necessary to the story. For the most part they felt like a plot driver because the pregnancy is the reason they got married so quickly in the first place and arguably why they’re marriage lasted as long as it did (though three years really doesn’t feel long enough for the issues they had but whatever) and part of why they’re keen to save their relationship. I think it would have been better if the girls were a little older so they could feel more engaging, but I’m also biased because I’m not a fan of children (specifically toddlers) in romance books. I can see the appeal of babies because they’re cutesy and older kids because they can interact with the adults and provide some comedy, but toddlers are just an awkward age in my opinion.

Finally, the fucking sister pissed me off. I understand Thea and Liv had a lot of childhood issues between their parent’s divorce and general lack of love and guidance, but the fact that Liv turns so quickly on Gavin and doesn’t support her sister when she decides to give him a chance. It started to feel like Thea was going to have to choose between her husband/family and her sister and that wasn’t the kind of energy I needed in my romance book especially in the age of Corona. Of course, it being a romance book in the end it all works out.

Basically, I would recommend this book as a fun romance read about an awkward man trying to save his marriage, but just know what your in for.

Keep reading for some fun and often insightful quotes!

“All spouses become strangers to each other at some point in a marriage,” Del said. “All human beings are a work in progress, and we don’t all change at the same pace. Who knows how many people have gotten divorced simply because they failed to recognize that what they thought were insurmountable problems were actually just temporary phases?”

The need to hit something surged again like a bad case of Twitter rage.

“Men are idiots. We complain that women are so mysterious and shit, and we never know what they want. We fuck up our relationships because we convince ourselves that it’s too hard to figure them out. But the real problem is with us. We think we’re not supposed to feel things and cry and express ourselves. We expect women to do all the emotional labor in a relationship and then act confused when they give up on us.”

“Romance novels are primarily written by women for women, and they’re entirely about how they want to be treated and what they want out of life and in a relationship. We read them to be more comfortable expressing ourselves and to look at things from their perspective.”

“Modern romance novelists use the patriarchal society of old British aristocracy to explore the gender-based limitations placed on women today in both the professional and personal spheres. That shit is feminist as fuck.”

If a man wants to leave you, wave goodbye and lock the doors. You’ve got better things to do than chase a lost cause.

The backlash against the PSL is a perfect example of how toxic masculinity permeates even the most mundane things in life. If masses of women like something, our society automatically begins to mock them. Just like romance novels. If women like them, they must be a joke, right?

“You don’t wink.” “That’s not true.” “It absolutely is true. A woman remembers every time a man winks at her, because we love winking. It’s like catnip. Wink at us, and we roll over and start purring. You haven’t winked at me in a long time.” “Then I’m an idiot.” Gavin slowly lowered his gaze to lips. “Because I wouldn’t mind hearing you purr.”

Thea blinked several times and tore her gaze away from Gavin, who was studying her again like he did during the theater. Like he did on Saturday. As if seeing her for the first time. Maybe he was. It had been years since she felt like he saw her at all.

She had changed into a pair of sweatpants and his old Huntsville Rockets minor league sweatshirt, the one she’d claimed shortly after they started dating. He’d lost all coherent thought the first time he saw her in it. Something regressively possessive stole over him, as if he’d claimed her. Officially. With a sweatshirt.

“It means that whatever happened to your wife before she met you plays a role in who she is today,” Malcolm said. “We are all the sum total of our experiences at any given time, and our reactions to things are shaped by them. Just like in romance novels. Whatever a character went through before the start of the book will eventually determine how they react to things that happen in the book.” “But we’re talking about my real life here. Not a book.” “Same principles apply,” Malcolm said. “That’s why fiction resonates with people. It speaks to universal truths.”

“‘More than anything, she feared that she would awaken some morning and realize her entire life had passed her by,’” he read. “‘That at some point, she had become less than. Less than w-w-what she used to imagine. Less than w-wh-what she used to hope for. Nothing more than a silent accessory to a man. Nothing more than her own mother, a passive face at a glittering table.’”

"The point of all this is to court her, Gavin. Not seduce her.” “What’s the difference?” Mack snorted again. “It’s a fucking miracle you got married at all.” Gavin flipped him off. “The difference,” Malcolm said, “is to make her want you, not prove how much you want her.”

“Something has changed. What is it?” He offered to deal with Dad for me. He kissed me and made me want to forget everything bad. He made pancakes with the girls. Thea shook her head. “Nothing.”

"We women must steal our power where we can, and in the world of the ton, that power is sadly limited to the reduction of other women.”

“I do not require compliments, my lord. I’m well aware of my own attractiveness, which, of course, no lady is supposed to admit, but such is the world. English society seems to rest upon the requirement that women are pitted against each other until we all emerge envious of the other.”

“If there was a website where strange men posted thousands of pictures of you, yeah, I w-wouldn’t get used to it.” “That’s different. I’m not famous like you are.” “You’re the most important person in the w-w-world to me, so I beg to differ.”

“But we must find a way to produce and enjoy content that celebrates the fierceness of women without, at the same time, belittling a woman’s ability to decipher fact from fiction.”

#bromance book club #lyssa kay adams #adult romance #romance books #books #book club #booklr #book blog #quotes #book quotes

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blackreesemajic · 4 years

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Social Distancing with a New Flame

✨💕 You just met a new boo and just when the vibes started flowing boom* 💥 💥 the world shuts down and quarantine is turned on. The honeymoon phase should be the time you and your person are going on dates, boo’d up in public, holding hands, and sucking each other's face every second of the day. 😘😘😘

Your mind is filled with a plethora of in-person activities y’all can be doing during this time to make the butterflies in your stomach flutter like they just popped a perk.

If your situation is anything like mine, You may feel like your coochie was just put on 90-day probation without your consent. Thank you to the reviews of Steve Harvey’s, “Act like a Lady, Think like a man.” And his toxic masculinity perpetuated in his book, I would have read it and MAYBE had been better prepared for THIS situation.

Remember, although times are hard right now it’s not always about sex! Your peach 🍑 may be yearning for that eggplant 🍆 but 30-90 days is not. that. long... of a wait to be intimate with someone.

You could be like one of those people who wait until marriage…

No shade, but I am not one of those people.

I’m the, “Bring that ass here boi!” type of people.

The CDC recommends that we “Stay Calm” during this time quarantine.

It sounds unrealistic to me. 😒

How can we stay calm when our sexual desires are all over the place.

There are three things we are ALL doing during this time if we are not daydreaming about the outside land.

We spend all day bouncing that ass from Insta to Facebook, Twitter to Tumblr then back to Insta again…

Log on to our ex’s Netflix account and be entertained by the white Trashery of Tiger King and then see the same trashery in the White House to remind us the world has gone straight to SHITS...

Lastly, switching to Private mode on our phones and visiting pornhub.com or xvideos.com to see who is offering the best free subscription.

Trust me, I’m right there with you!

Just because social distancing is in effect does not mean you have to distance your heart.

Let’s use this time to get to know each other on a personal level.

Isolation could be causing your energies to yearn for one another louder than ever. You may even have a heightened craving of intimacy during this time. This time in quarantine can be beneficial to your dating life if you consider yourself someone who is, “Shy or Introverted” or are attracted to people who are. Many people with introverted personalities would prefer getting to know each other over the phone or on a virtual date. This is the time to bring back genuine connections, open and honest conversations, and my ALL TIME FAVORITE… Falling asleep on the phone.

[[Pieces of Reese: If he in quarantine at “his crib” but can only talk to you during certain hours or when he steps outside… He in quarantine with someone else, sis. LET HIM GO! ]] 🔑 😒

Here are some tips to keep the flame lit, tea hot, and coffee dripping down your lips. So that when you and your new boo do get back together the connection is stronger than ever!

1. Self Healing and Reflecting: I know. I know. You were so excited because you feel like you could have finally met your “PERSON”. And now, You can’t even see them in-person. Your mind starts to ponder so many “What the fucking Ifs!” “What if they get bored with me?” “What if they lose interest?” “What if they have multiple quarantine boo’s” “What if they catch corona and die?!!!” I know it sounds fucking crazy but its a real fucking fear. You must remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real!

I NEED YOU TO IMMEDIATELY; Reset your mind and Refocus yourself.

Now is the time you must remind yourself that “YOU ARE THAT BITCH!” Use this time to get to know you. Get healthy Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally... If being in a relationship/ situationship is what you desire at the end of all of this. Use the time to make yourself WHOLE. Thou can’t pick up broken glass without cutting the hand that is trying to put the pieces back together.

[[ “We don’t fear being alone. We fear getting to know the parts of ourselves we didn’t know before.” - Pieces of Reese ]]

Pick up a pen and paper and write: Write a letter to yourself. Write in your diary. Write to your person. Write your feelings. Write yourself daily affirmations and post them on your bathroom mirror so that you see them every day. Get connected with the feelings behind your everyday thoughts.

Set a routine; Whatever the routine looks like to you, set it! There is no amount of work you need to force yourself to meet society’s sense of productivity. The routine is only in place to keep your body prepared for what the universe has to offer you once this is all done.

2. Virtual Dates: It seems crazy but having a virtual date can be romantic and is also cost-efficient. If you or your partner want to be extravagant you can rotate turns ordering the other person a meal (Be sure to leave your delivery person a decent tip for working through these hard times). You can both go into your own kitchens and cook each other your favorite meal. Make something you will want your person to try when you are in one space. Try describing the taste of the meal, who taught you how to make it, and why it is your favorite. Adding wine or alcohol loosens things up and being alone could make you more comfortable with being yourself on the date. A great website to get the conversation going: www.goalcast.com/2018/04/19/deep-questions-to-ask-your-partner/amp/

3. Share what you see: If you are a lover of music, videos, Memes, or GIFs, Do NOT be afraid to share it with your person. With everything that is happening in the world currently, Now is the perfect time to make someone smile and laugh. Remember that MENTAL HEALTH is real! For people who suffer from Mental Health Illness, forced isolation calls for undesired thoughts of not being wanted. Show your person they are the first person you thought of when you have seen or heard something. Make them feel like, you couldn’t wait to send it to them. Let them know they are not alone during this time. You are their person

4. If you are adventurous: Video or Phone sex has never got anyone left on READ. It actually gets you a callback.

It's safe, sexy, and Kinky AS FUCK! Call your friends who love BDSM to teach you a thing or two. Virtual sex allows you to push the boundaries between you and your partner. It makes each person excited for what's to come when you are in one space.

You can set the mood for your virtual hook up by lighting candles, having your space neat, camera angles must be on point, and start off with a striptease to get the eggplant ripe and keep the peach juicy.

Playing a ”If I miss, I Strip. If you miss, You strip.” [if you know, you know ❤️ + 🏀 ] type of game may relax you and your partner. Of course, Make it specific to you and yours. Don’t forget to have your #BlackReeseMajic music playlist ready. If you don’t have a music playlist visit my apple music/ Spotify to follow any of mine

5. Lastly, Optional, and specific for my Spiritual Souls who believe in the power of Manifestation: ✨💕✨💕✨💕

[You do not have to have a person already to do this step. If you are someone hoping to find your quarantine boo or keep the one you have then this is for you]

Step One: is to start by writing out everything you want in your person. Qualities, Attributes, Values, and Looks (if you believe in detail). Remember to write out how you want to be treated by your person. If you want to go the extra step. You can write what ‘You’ will be able to offer to your person. Once you have produced the person you desire in the concrete sense,

Step Two: is to call on your spirits guides, ancestors, and higher power to bring forth your ask. Some things you may need to connect with the spiritual realm but are not required are 1.Pink Candle (Pink candles personify the purest form of love, a love without selfishness with selfless emotions, are ideal for the beginning of a relationship), 2. Herbs or Essential oils [if you have] have a centuries-long history of symbolizing love and devotion (Lavender, Rose, Basil, Calendula...etc). 3. Sage: “Sage is known to have healing properties and with the power of intention and spiritual connection with the source of all existence, the burning of Sage assists with healing and clearing.” 4. Offering: Clean and freshwater is the simplest form of offering. You can also offer coins, jewelry, fruits, anything appealing to the spirits. 5. Bell or anything that makes noise (can be your voice)

And Step Three: Have a table or space specific for intentions or manifestation. With a clear mind, body, and soul begin my thanking creation for all that you already have. I like to place my “person desires” list under my pink candle. I sprinkle my herbs around and inside my candle. I use a couple of drops of my essential oils for fragrance (Spirits love good smelling things). I make my spiritual space as pretty as possible (Glitter is enticing to spirits and crystals deepens the vibrations). I give the offering (usually freshwater, money, or coins). I chant (Chanting is specific to you. If you need help with a chant I usually say, “All praises to the most high. God, Spirits, Creation, and Ancestors, I thank you for everything you have done and everything you continue to do. I offer you my purest self and this alter to bring forth my ask…” I burn my sage (smell, clarity, and guidance to myself and spirits), and finally, I light my pink love candle.

I let my candle burn for a whole day or I light it every day for a few hours then blow it out.

I hope this tea has filled your soul the way writing it has filled mine. Stay at home if you can and stay safe during this time.

If you are someone who lost a loved one from complications of COVID19, I pray for healing and peace over your life. I am sending EACH and every one of you Light and Love from the depths of my soul.

Spread Light and Love Every day! ✨💕

PEACE & Be The.

Sincerely, Pieces of Reese

Sources:

https://www.miracleswithinus.com/the-spiritual-side-of-sage.html

https://dontmesswithmama.com/essential-oils-for-romance-love/

https://www.thespruce.com/herb-meanings-in-love-and-romance-1761964

https://www.sisterlove.org/post/keeping-it-safe-and-sexy-covid19

#Blackreesemajic piecesofreese

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queerspeculativefiction · 5 years

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Old stuff

Got talking with Alien, and remembered Cameron, so here are some old snippets from a book that’s never finished.

Probably some trigger warnings in there. A lot of them. Cameron is not nice. It is also old, like... 6 years old by now.

SNIPPET ONE - The whale problem

The park was nearly empty at this time of the day, the gravel paths a darker brown between the yellowed lawns. The sun was out, spring was here but the green had yet to follow, leaving a world of beiges and browns. The pond was empty of any ducks, the fountain dry and not yet running. It was desolate image, painted in subdued colours by the dust of nearby roads, but Cameron thought it almost peaceful. Sitting there, he could imagine that the world was dying the way he was, slowly aging into monochrome.

You never planned to be a part of the beige army, but one morning you woke up and found yourself there. Everybody put their pants on one leg at a time they said, but even those days were behind him. Now, he sat on the edge of the bed and gently eased his swollen feet into them. Then he rose and pulled, and with a bit of luck he just about managed. Maybe he should have help, but when you lived the life he had, you didn't take time off for raising a family. He probably had children somewhere, but had never stuck around to make sure. Prison tended to make a mess of any relationship, and after a while you just stopped trying.

Unlike some.

The woman had passed him twice now, a sharp young thing, all angles and shadows. She was leading a dog, a confused looking poodle that kept pulling at the leash.

"Either shit or get off the pot, girl." He spoke up because she disturbed him, made him remember, brought him back into a past he tried to forget

"You got a foul mouth for a wrinkled old prune," she replied, but her shoulders did the hunch of the guilty. He had not been wrong about her.

"I didn't know they let pakis in the force," he retorted, giving her a grim smile. At least he still had his own teeth, yellowed though they were.

"The name's Noor, not paki, they should have warned me you were an arse as well as uncooperative." She was standing with her arms folded now, the dog pulling on its leash with a whine.

"I'm only an arse to coppers," he said, looking up at her breasts. Smaller than he liked them, but still, beggars couldn't be choosers. "I'm kind to kids and animals. Unlike you."

"Oh, the dog?" She looked down at the struggling dog. "It's not mine; I borrowed it from a woman in the park to have an excuse to scout the place. They told me you'd bolt if you figured we were around."

"Look at me," he said, and both the dog and the girl did. He held up a finger and the dog sat down obediently, ears attentive. "You think I could run very fast?"

"You know what I mean." She looked increasingly uncomfortable but finally managed to look away.

"Say that I do. Say that you got me talking. It's still only for the pleasure of turning you down."

"Let him who has understanding reckon the number of the Beast, for it is a human number." Her voice had gone hard, insistent. "He's back. The Beast."

That made him fall silent. The dog started barking again, sensing the building tension.

"Last month there were three murders down by the banks," she started, voice hushed. "Like he used to do them. We hushed it up, nobody cares about dead Devkies. But the whispers started. He's moved in again, cleaned out the riverside, set up his own people there."

"He doesn't have any people anymore; he's been gone too long."

"Really? He got new ones then. Don't tell me that you haven't seen the signs. The rain of pigeons? The crows circling the city hall?"

"Don't tell me you've got the Sight, girl."

"Maybe I do. Runs in the family. And I know the law didn't stop him last time. You did."

"I had turf to protect then. An organization. I didn't need any jumped-up hellspawn trying to muscle in on my operation. These days I'm happy if I can have a decent piss."

"People will die."

"People always die."

"Not if I can help it."

"Girl... don't be an idiot. You'd be chewed up and spat out if you went up against him. You're hardly out of diapers; you even gave me your bloody name."

"Did I?" She looked straight at him, mouth curved in familiar displeasure.

"You... ah, clever girl. I suppose the vagueness of the wording would suffice. I was always fond of 'Call me Cameron' myself."

"I could never say that without thinking of Moby Dick."

"And yet you want me to go and hunt your white whale?"

"It's not really mine, is it? It's yours."

And the damn thing was that she was right.

...

The city felt so quiet, but the undercurrent of terror was already there. The murders plastered over the newspapers. The shadows you spotted on the way home after a late night out. The increase in looted stores and arson. Cameron had seen it all before, forty years ago when he was younger and the world was a different animal. He'd been in and out of prison since he could remember, and every time he got out, the world had made another turn. Things didn't change when you were away; you were locked inside the grey, preserved like a specimen in a jar until you were dumped out into a world that no longer needed you.

It had been bad enough during shorter stints, but when you were in for five, ten years you became a stranger in your own skin. Oh he'd learned things in there, in many ways more than he ever had in school. But it changed you all the same, and there came a time when he had seen enough and decided to retire to a life of feeding pigeons and watching young women jog past. A harmless old kook they called him, because age wiped away everything. Even a bad reputation. Once he had been a force to be reckoned with, now he was just a weak old man.

Still, there were worse things he could be. Like dead.

Was seriously considering this? Had the girl put the whammy on him? He thought not, she had the sight but he wasn't one to be talked into anything. Maybe it was just unfinished business. Maybe he was just picking a better spot to die than a bench in the park surrounded by a corona of pigeons. Of course there were worse ways too, and the Beast knew all about those. What was the old saying? 'And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.' He'd be lucky.

But he had always made his own luck.

...

"No, you can't get in old man. Just move along." The man was young and skinny and with a hungry look in his eyes, like all the Beast's thralls.

"Oh bugger off," Cameron said with enough force to make the man take a step back. "I want a chat with your boss."

"Let him in, Alfie." The drape had been pushed to the side, and an old woman popped her head out. Still striking despite her age, with pale skin pulled tightly against her skull. "He's expected."

Alfie stepped aside, still looking staggered, as if he'd got something stuck in his teeth that wouldn't budge. Cameron shuffled inside, trying not to lean on his cane too much. Honestly, he'd rather have his walker, but he guessed that would give a bad impression. The thought nearly made him laugh.

As if the Beast would care.

"So I am expected," he said, words sounding the waters as they shuffled down the corridors of the crack house. There were no doors here, the Beast did not approve of them. They held power, an older power than even he controlled. So as they walked, Cameron would get glimpses of what was going on through tattered drapes and curtains, things that might have blocked sights but never sound. If his skin wasn't so wrinkled it'd crawl.

"If you've ruined Alfie, I will be most cross," the woman said. "He's a hopeless druggie, but he's got a talented tongue."

"Ruined?" For a moment Cameron had no idea what she was talking about, and then he laughed. "Oh, the 'bugger off' bit? Not sure if it actually works that way. That'd be a laugh, wouldn't it?" If it had, he regretted not using it more. He could remember a few coppers who would have been well served by a long, hard fuck.

"No laughter here, Mr Cameron. I thought you'd remember the rules." She walked them upstairs, which was a slow process since his aging knees protested every step.

He did remember the rules. No laughter, another thing that held power. He'd watched the Beast do unspeakable things to a man's tongue for that particular transgression. Towards the end it had looked like a mouthful of worms writing in a bloodied nest, and he had to swallow hard to keep the memories down.

"I never was much for rules," he said with a shrug, more to keep his courage up than anything. "Who are you anyway? I feel like I should know your scrawny arse."

"You mean you don't recognize me? Shame on you Mr Cameron, you'd think you'd remember someone who's had your dick in her mouth."

"Nooo, little Sally Fielding?" He could see it now, when he looked. The teenage girl, all limbs and eyes and dark, dark passions. "I never thought he'd get to you of all people."

The shrug was nearly imperceptible. "He gets to everybody in the end. You should know that Mr Cameron."

They walked the rest of the stairs in uncomfortable silence.

...

The room was swathed in shadows, hundreds of candles making the heat almost unbearable. At least it would have been unbearable back when he was a younger man, but with age came the chills, and the need for electric blankets and warm sweaters. This, Cameron thought to himself not without irony, was probably the closest thing to warm he'd been in years.

"It's been a while," he said, because starting the conversation gave him the illusion of control. "Thought you'd decided to have a vacation in warmer climates."

"What can I say," the Beast said in his raspy voice, torn from the throat of his recent host. "Even wars get boring. I've missed the smaller, dirtier vices."

"And here I thought you missed me," Cameron said, fighting not to turn away from those piss-yellow stains that masqueraded as eyes.

"Maybe I did," the Beast admitted with an amused hum. "It is always a pleasure to see the mighty fall so far."

"As I recall, you took a bit of a tumble last time yourself." Where did he get the guts? No, he shouldn't be asking himself that. He had always been ready to piss in God's eye if it got him what he wanted. This was no different.

"I did," the Beast admitted, licking his lips. "Another thing I owe you."

Up until that point Cameron had hoped that maybe Noor would have been mistaken. There were any number of creatures that could have masqueraded as the Beast after all. Any number of terrors that went bump in the night. He had come here to make sure that she was wrong, that there was no need for new nightmares. But here, faced with the Beast, he had to admit the truth to himself. This was the real deal, or at least the same deal as the one he'd banished all those decades ago. This was the Beast, and he was back, and worse... he was smiling.

"Now, no need to talk old memories," Cameron said, hoping his voice sounded steady. "I'm just here to tell you that there's no need to unpack your bags. You won't be staying."

"Oh won't I? No attempt to even put some power into your suggestions, old man? Have you lost the knack for it?" The Beast had risen and was looming now, leaning close.

"Wouldn't do much good now, would it? Besides, I'm just the messenger this time." Just a worthless old man. Cameron willed himself to believe it.

"I see... then perhaps I should make sure to send a message back." The nails on the hand caressing his chin were as sharp as claws.

"Trust me; you really don't want to see me naked these days." He vividly remembered the message tossed on his own doorstep all those decades ago, the mutilated body naked and covered with marks of unspeakable torture.

"As if we cared about your looks," the Beast said, breath rancid. "You're all disgusting sacks of meat; it's the soul that matters. And I have been waiting for yours a long time."

"Mom lived past a hundred; you might have to wait longer yet." Cameron's knuckles were white over the hilt of the cane.

"I am patience."

"And I need to take a slash. The perils of old age you know. Bladder problems." He didn't look down, willed himself to keep looking into the inhuman eyes. "So if you're gonna torture, get on with it."

"I suppose there is no skill inherent in making an old man piss himself," the Beast admitted. "Begone and tell the people that sent you here that this town is mine now."

"I'll make sure to tell them that," Cameron assured, backing out of the room until the drapes fell shut and he could turn without having those yellow eyes eating away at his back.

Well, that could have gone better. And worse.

Once he had limped down the stairs, past the hollow eyes and swollen veins, past the used needles and wasted flesh, he pulled up his phone and called the number Noor had given him.

"You're right," he said curtly, foregoing even insults in the face of what we had just seen. "We've got ourselves a whale problem."

-------

SNIPPET TWO - A History Lesson

Noor pushed back the phone in her pocket with an unmuttered curse. Her contact at the hotel has just told her Cameron had arrived, but about an hour later than needed. What the old man had been up to in the meantime was anybody's guess. Unfortunately, there was no allowance for guesswork in this, but neither was she in any position to call up the old man and yell at him. Not that he would listen.

"Bad news?" Sergeant Williams looked up from his screen, the blue light flickering over his weathered face.

"Just annoyingly expected ones." She resumed rifling through the archives, then caught herself and looked over at him again with a softer smile on her lips. "Thank you for letting me have a look through the dustbin, it's appreciated."

The dustbin was what people affectionately called the deep archives of the Met, the place where things that didn't quite fit ended up. Over the past century it had collected what others would call 'curiosities', cases and items that never showed up in the official files. Who had first started it was a matter for debate, but it was being quietly curated by the Sighted few, the ones that knew that there was more to the world than the police operational handbook told you.

"Just be quick about it, I could get in a lot of trouble if someone found you here. The super's not the forgiving type. As you might remember."

"I do." She realized how defeatalist her voice sounded and quickly added. "I still don't regret what I did. No matter the consequences."

"A lot of us agree with what you did, you know."

"I know." The words were without sarcasm, and she added a smile to drive the point home. "But thank you again all the same."

"Don't thank me, just finish up in a hurry."

"I would be finished if you'd got these files organized by now."

"Yeah, yeah. You and me both know that's not going to happen. What year are you looking for again?"

"1981. That's when it started."

...

1981

The riots had torn through the city all through the summer, fuelled by anger and desperation. The air had turned electric with frustration, the streets humming with anger, spending itself against storefronts and riot shields. Anybody with a uniform was a target, and Brixton had been a name that brought fresh fears and horrors to the headlines. But the riots had been beaten down and a sullen august arrived, unreasonably hot, with the moon hanging low and pregnant in the skies.

And then the river had caught fire.

Cameron was standing by the banks, feeling heat curl his thinning hair. It wasn't fair that a man in his thirties should be growing bald already, but this was one war he couldn't win so he had just shaved most of it off to hide the casualties.

"This is insane," he muttered, watching the flames leap and the heat dance mirages in the air above. "Where is the damn fire department?"

"The fire doesn't burn for everybody, Boss." Eelis lit up a cigarette, tossing the spent match in the flames to let it be consumed. "It's just like the maniac on the platform, ennit? Now you see it, now you don't, and before you know it they have slipped away and hidden in the urban legends. This can't be seen without Sight."

"Bullshit, I know what the Sight does, but I can feel this." Cameron reached out and pulled back his hand with a snarl, blisters forming on his hand where the flames had leaped up to bite. "And it sure as hell ain't no stinking urban legend, those pissants work in the shadows, reaching out to maybe two or three people at the most. This is a bloody river through the centre of the city! This is bold."

"Not just bold, Boss, it's for you I reckon. He's pulling you close. 'Only for the ones the Beast has marked, will the flames have bite as well as bark.' Remember that? Turns out the old nutter was right on the money." Eelis reached out, running his hand through the flames, it turned opaque, surrounded by the flame mirage, but did not burn.

"That's not the Beast out there," Cameron snapped, sucking on a blister.

"If you say so, Boss." Eelis shrugged. It was never wise to argue with a man that had climbed to where he was today over the gravestones of his predecessors. Organized crime was a dog eat dog world, and right now Cameron was working his way towards being the biggest, meanest dog of them all.

"It's just a bigger, nastier version of the Bloody Mary, and we dealt with her when we were bloody teens."

"Like you said, Boss. Bigger. Nastier."

"Still something that can be dealt with. Just got to find its weakness." Cameron rubbed his scruffy chin, mesmerized by the dance of the flames. Did he really smell the cooked meat and the sulphur? Did he imagine the pained moans and crackling fat?

"Not sure if it has any," Eelis said after considering it for a moment. "Well, except God. Could always try a priest."

"I don't believe in God," Cameron said firmly, turning his back on the flames at last.

"That's probably a good thing, Boss, since you've been pissing in his eye for years."

"Oh go fuck yourself and get Swan to come back in. We've got work to do. I'll be at the flat, call me when he gets here and not a moment sooner." Cameron yanked open the door to his car hard enough that Eelis flinched a little.

"Swan? What if he starts up some more trouble?" he asked cautiously.

"Grow a fucking spine and deal with it."

...

"Do you remember someone called Swan?" Noor put down the file she had been reading, checking with her notes. "Most likely a known associate of Joachim Cameron or Eelis Jones?"

"Swan, Swan... Roger Swan? Could that be the man?" Williams rose to join her, his stocky frame crowding her away from the cabinet. "Have you checked the Cameron file?"

"There is a Cameron file?" Noor gave the older man a stern look. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because you never mentioned that you wanted it." The shrug was amused, the moustache wiggling. "You've been going on about 1981 and the riots there, next time be a bit clearer my dear."

"I went through the computers about him, not much came up. I didn't know he was down here in the dustbins as well."

"Got one of the fatter files down here, at least of the recent ones. Old Nichols had a hard-on for Cameron for years, he collected every scrap no matter how out there. The sarge even threw a party once they'd finally nailed him. Fifteen years in Belmarsh.The old bastard will be a pensioner when he finally gets out."

"He is out. For a few years now. Retired from the looks." Noor took the file once that Williams had located it, the thick bundle somehow weightier than it should be. What was it about the old man that had given tbe Beast pause? Was it even him, or just his associates? She needed to know. "Swan, Swan," she mumbled as she leafed through the pages, then paused and reread. "Huh. Did you know Cameron had a girlfriend? I didn't think he was the type to settle down."

"Don't think he ever did." Williams smiled a little. "Men like him never cared where they stuck their dick, pardon ma'm, even if they happened to be in love."

"Love." Noor shrugged as she pulled out the picture of the young woman in question. "I very much doubt that ever ventured into it. That man doesn't have a soft bone in his body." If he had, he would have been less than useful to her cause.

...

1981

Dawn came early to the flat, situated at the top floor as it was. The previous owner had tossed himself out the window after seeing apparitions in the living room, and Cameron had always thought it gave the place a nice, quaint atmosphere. The woman next to him might have kept him awake all night, but she was blissfully Sightless and thus never noticed the shadows still haunting dark corners, waiting for easier prey.

"Strange," she said, running her fingers over his furrowed brow. "Usually you've stopped scowling by now." The sheets were tangled at the foot of the bed, the room too warm in the sweltering heat.

"Got a lot on my mind, babe," Cameron let his fingers trace the curve of her brown hip, the rounded little pot of a stomach. Everything was so soft and sweet about her, no sharp edges, no nasty hidden truths. She was a rarity for him, a woman that wanted nothing more than what he would give her, asked for nothing more than for him to just be himself. Not the big man. Not the tough guy. No masks.

"Don't call me babe," she chided, leaning in to kiss his nose, broken and healed too many times already. "My name is Maria."

"I wish you wouldn't do that," he flinched, pulling her on top of him so she lay draped there like a comforter, peering down at him with that amused little smile under the unruly afro.

"Do what?" she asked, shifting slightly to make herself comfortable, the smile widening as his hands kept trailing down her shoulders and spine.

"Give your name that freely. You shouldn't. It could be dangerous." But she walked in none of the hidden worlds; Maria was just Maria, a local girl, a convenience store clerk from down the block. She knew nothing of drugs or murder, of midnight beatings or the things that lurked behind mirrors or in alleys.

"You're such a worrywart," she said with the softest of laughs, running her fingers over his short hair. "No wonder you're growing bald."

"You told me that was testosterone." Cameron couldn't help but answer the smile though; she was the only one that he allowed to tease him like that. Like he was just a normal bloke, the dealer of luxury cars that he pretended to be. And maybe that was her particular magic, that right here, pressed down into the bed under her soft, curvy body, he felt at peace. Content. Like the rest of the world could go fuck itself, like whatever burning need for more he had always nursed in the pit of his stomach had grown content, at last.

"Well, maybe I lied," she teased, rubbing the tip of her nose against his.

"I'd like to see you try." Cameron wasn't even kidding there, he had seen her try to lie before, about the little things, and it had always ended in mumbled excuses. He couldn't call her innocent, not with the things they were up to in bed, but there was a sweetness to her that utterly disarmed him.

Was he in love? He'd considered it before, and every time he said goodbye to her he talked himself into believing otherwise, but there was no denying the effect she was having on his greedy heart. Like always, when he lay here happy, sated, he promised himself that maybe he should quit the others. Stay faithful. Be a good man.

It never lasted. He was not a good man, very, very far from one in fact. She just made it possible for him to pretend differently, just for a little.

"Don't tell people your name anymore," he said to her, putting every ounce of conviction, of talent, into that whispered order.

"Don't start being weird again," she chided, sliding off to the side so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "Dawn's here, we should get some sleep. Lucky for you I'm on an afternoon shift today."

"Yeah, lucky me" Cameron sighed, wrapping an arm around her. Nothing. He could talk a nun out of her knickers, and all his suggestions slid off her like mere words. She wasn't just Sightless, she lacked even the rudimentary senses that made people heed his words and look over their shoulder when something wicked came their way. She was for all intents and purposes immune to the world he half lived in.

Maybe that was why he treasured her so. That he could know she was with him because she wanted to be, he could not coerce her, could not talk her into things she might never have done otherwise. She was here by choice, with him. And there was nothing more powerful than that.

...

"Got him." Noor grinned and pulled out a picture of the man named Swan, a skinny, bespectabled blonde with a menacing look to him. She had been certain he had heard him refered to before, and if she was planning to have a hope in hell of succeeding with the task she had set herself, she would need every ace in the hole. From the look, he'd be the same age as Cameron now, was he retired as well?

She leaned back and chewed a pencil, then checked and rechecked her notes. Swan had been a shadow to Cameron's light, the power behind the throne whispered some. Nood didn't believe that, after having met the man she couldn't imagine Cameron playing second fiddle to anybody. No, Swan must have been useful to him, in other ways than mere muscle. Someone that walked the hidden paths? Someone with more magical clout than the former mob boss? Possibly, there had been rumours of a falling out and she had failed to locate the man when she had tried. And that was what she did after all. Finding things. Finding a way. And right now she was assembling the pieces of the puzzle that had been the Beast's bane once before.

Not that her task didn't make her crack a smile, she hadn't really imagined people powerful enough to worry the Beast being that... well, old. The charge of the pensioners didn't really have much of a ring to it, and most of the people she was tracking down came up dead. Cameron however was still very much alive and as nasty as ever. But back in the day he had help, and those were the clues she was hunting for in these old case-files, notes scribbled down by scruplously honest (and Sighted) officers who knew nothing they put down would ever be believed. Maybe they hoped for someone like her to come around one day, someone that knew enough to connect the dots. To read their story and make sense of it.

They themselves were long since dead. Another reccuring theme in her research. It made her wonder about the wisdom of her retirement fund.

...

1981

Cameron was in a cab, stuck in traffic, when the pigeons started to fall from the skies. At first there was one, a feathered body thumping softy on the hood. Then came the next, a soft impact on the roof, and then the rain started. Broken bodies, broken wings, feathers fluttering, small bodies ground to paste between the slowly moving wheels. The cab drove a few yards, and then stopped again while the thumping continued. People on the sidewalk had stopped and stared, dodging into stores to keep out of the birdfall. Setting his face in a deeper scowl, Cameron stuck a few bills to the driver, and then stepped out in the middle of the road, causing cars to stop and swerve.

"You think this scares me?" he bellowed to the skies, ignoring the looks he got. "Well, fuck you too assholes."

It took him fifteen minutes to make his way to the pub on foot, sweaty and cursing every inch of the way. Swan and Eelis was already there when he arrived, nursing their beers.

"Looks like someone didn't get fried sunny side up today," Swan said lightly, the alchemist looking insufferably smug. They hadn't seen each other since Cameron banished him from the boroughs, and to be called back now had apparently left him in the most pleasant of moods.

"Watch it or I'll make sure it's your balls that gets fried," Eelis said, elbowing the man in the side.

Cameron said nothing, just sank down in the chair, locking eyes with the alchemist. Swan was a clever little prick and he had great use of him in the past, but he was too clever for his own good and had dipped too deeply into funds he shouldn't have access to. The mere fact that he was still alive was testament to his talent, because while Cameron might be a vindictive bastard he was not stupid. And people like this little shit were too rare to kill unless you had no other choice.

"You can say it, you know," Swan said, easily keeping Cameron's gaze while most men would have looked down already. "In fact, I think you have to say it."

There was a moment there when the silence grew thick enough to cut, and then Cameron took a deep breath and shrugged.

"You were right."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"Don't rub it in. I broke your fingers last time, I could just as easily cut them off, and then where would you be?"

"Now, now, you never had a sense of humour, Mr Cameron. No need for violence."

"I'm not here for that. I'm here for answers."

"I gathered, word's been spreading, Hell is seeping into the city and that little exile you sent me on suddenly seems like a smart idea."

"There is no Hell."

"People might disagree, some might say life is hell, but this city has been hell for enough people that it tends to stick around. Like lice and cockroaches it lurks in the dark corners just waiting for the spark."

"The Beast."

"That's what he calls himself now, and who am I to argue?"

"A bloody superstitious cunt. He's nothing more than another Ripper or a Spring Heeled Jack. Find the right angle and he's just smoke in the wind."

"And mess this up and we might have another Masque of the Red Death, or the Mistress of Smog."

"Or another Great Fire of London," Cameron admitted grudgingly. "Like back in 1666, the blighter's been alluding to it. The burning river, the number of the Beast. I'm not stupid, Swan, tell me what I don't know."

"Anything is bound by rules, even him. If he plays at being the Beast, might consider finding faith." Swan shrugged and chugged the beer.

"Not gonna happen. And if I start playing by his rules, then he's already won." Cameron heard the words spilling from his mouth while his mind was reeling from what he had just realized he was planning to do.

"Why do I have the feeling you didn't call me back here for my sage advice? You already have a plan, don't you?" Swan's bleary eyes had grown sharp behind his glasses, the jovial mask slipping.

"I do," Cameron admitted while his guts slowly churned. "This is my bloody town, or will be very soon, and I have no plans to let some hellspawn get the better of me. My town, my rules, and he's going down."

"You planning on being a bigger bastard than he is?" Swan asked, bemused. "Good luck with that."

"Eelis," Cameron said, causing his subordinate to straighten a little in the chair. "Go get Maria, take her to the flat and keep her there. Tell her that it's important. That it will be a surprise."

"Done, Boss." Eelis rose, hesitated for a moment, but then left quickly, objections unvoiced.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Swan asked, emptying the beer that Eelis had left behind.

"Not particularly. Just useful." Cameron's words were clipped now, down to the bare minimum to get the point across. "I need you to forge an Echo for me. In the form of a blade. A small one, I need to be able to hide it."

"I... can do that," Swan admitted. "If you have the tools, but I figure you wouldn't call me back unless you were ready."

"You're right. I wouldn't."

"Of course it'll be next to useless against the Beast, you know. One, he's not stupid enough to confront you openly. Two, no matter what you quench it in, it's unlikely it's gonna do more than smart. Unless you've got the most pious saint in Britain stacked away somewhere."

"I haven't. Got something better. Don't worry about it; just do your fucking job."

"If I do..."

"Then you're allowed back. Just don't piss on my property without me saying yes first."

"I'll be a good boy, I've missed the City."

"Now get to work."

...

"This doesn't add up." Noor sighed and stretched a little. Swan was an alchemist and a tool maker. He didn't do banishments, there weren't any indications of faith or that he'd ever been a priest. Demons, or djinns, or whatever you would call them followed rules and strictures as harsh as the laws of men. Swan had no authority there, and neither did Cameron. And yet the Beast had been banished. Was she wrong about her approach? What was she missing? Her brain felt sluggish in the dusty room, the lack of air and fans lent the stillness a tomb-like quality. She needed a break and turned to Williams for advice. "What are the chances that someone will spot me if I do a detour to the coffee maker?" The coffee here was legendary bad, the kind that turned your gut to acid. The best kind in her opinion.

"You're a wee bit recognizable in that getup," Williams replied with the faintest of smiles.

"Are you making fun of my religion?" Her smile echoed his, you had to learn to grow a thick skin when you choose to wear the hijab as part of your uniform.

"No, just your dress sense." Williams kept a straight face.

"Says the man with that moustache. But I suppose you're right. Wouldn't want to get you into trouble."

"Me? How about yourself?"

"I know what I'm doing."

"That I don't doubt. Just the wisdom of it. Just sit tight and I'll bring you back a cuppa, how does that sound?"

"Heavely. I've got what... twenty pages of handwritten interrogation transcript notes to go through here, and I'm not sure where the original tape is."

"If it's not down here, probably lost for good. You and me both know that the dustbin is the last stop for most of the oddities. Someone propably managed to save the notes when the tape was destroyed."

"But this is from a murder investigation, they can't just disappear those, can they?"

"They can, and you know it. If it wasn't used against Cameron in his trial, it's probably..." Williams hesitated a little.

"Someone buried it." Noor was surprised at how hard her voice sounded, she knew that Cameron had murdered people, and yet to have that laid out in front of her stung like a slap. Could good be done with evil tools? Was she doing the right thing?

The truth was that she didn't know.She just knew that she was running out of choices fast. The Beast was not a patient creature. And if she'd be damned in the process, at least that was her own choice. She knew what she was getting into.

So she kept on reading.

...

1981

On the rooftop, the wind stole both words and breath, but nobody was in a mood to talk. The rain had started falling, hiding the tears running down Maria's cheeks, to be absorbed by her gag. Cameron didn't meet her gaze, just kept running his hand over the Echo that Swan had forged, twisted silver lined by runes, a black hole waiting to be filled with Meaning. The alchemist was busying himself with the runes, thick swathes of black tar making bold patterns on the concrete rooftop, untouched by the growing downpour.

"You sure it's gonna hold him?" Eelis asked, one arm around Maria, restraining her, though she was securely tied.

"For a few seconds maybe," Swan said with a shrug. "If we're lucky and he shows up at all."

"Oh he's gonna come," Cameron said, willing himself as hard as the concrete under his feet. "I'm gonna cut out my own heart, there ain't no way he can resist showing up to fucking piss on it. He's nothing but a big, fat buzzard, out to feast on the suffering of man."

"It's done then," the alchemist said and stepped back. "I've done what I can. The rest is up to you."

"Good," Cameron said, pooling all his frustration and grief into the words. "Then step over the ledge and take the quick way down."

"You bastard," Swan said, face whitening as he slowly started walking towards the ledge despite himself. "I cu..."

"Silence!" Cameron shouted, and the alchemist's mouth snapped shut, his eyes growing wide. "Didn't know I could do that, could you? I've not been complacent while you were away. No way am I letting you run roughshod over my city, not after witnessing this."

There was no triumph in his voice though, just tired grief and power. Swan had been a tool, but someone needed to pay for this, and part of him felt slightly content when they saw the wispy man step over the ledge and fall to his messy death in silence.

"I hope you're not gonna do that to me, Boss." To his credit, Eelis's voice didn't waver.

"You would jump off the ledge from sheer loyalty to me, wouldn't you?"

Eelis's nod was small, almost imperceptible. "I'd rather not, though."

"Don't worry, such loyalty is a precious and rare thing. Should be preserved. Now bring the girl to me."

Anne. Her name was Maria. Not the girl. Not babe. He could see her eyes telling him that. No anger, not yet. Confusion. A bit of fear.

"I'm sorry, babe," he said, running a hand over her cheek. "You should never have told me your name. And you should never have fallen in love with me."

She was struggling now, but her arms were tied, and her legs had just enough stretch in the ropes so she could tiptoe. Did you never love me, her eyes kept asking as he pulled her close? Was it all pretence?

"I did really love you, Maria," Cameron whispered, not bothering to hide the tears now. "This would never work otherwise."

The blade made no sound when it slit her throat open, blood gushing over them both, eyes widening, then growing dim. He held her gently in his arms as she died, felt the blade drink her essence, the Echo of her spirit caught, his own pain amplified by the surrounding runes. He wanted to kill himself. For the first time in his life he truly contemplated doing what the shadows in the apartment below had urged him to and jump of the edge. Face the fall. End this. Wash away the eyes, worse than accusing... confused. Hurt.

He never wanted to hurt her, the one good thing in his life that wasn't tied to misery and death. And now he had killed her. It was only when he heard the laughter that he opened his eyes, looking into the triumphant gaze of the Beast.

Yellow. Like pissholes in the snow. Mocking. Inviting. Burn or bend, serve or be consumed, this was an appetite that dwarfed his own. Or so he had thought. Had feared. But he had been wrong. The beast had been wrong.

The blade slid into the beast's gut as easy as it had slit Maria's throat. He twisted and yanked upwards, seeing eyes widen and grow green, then blue.

"What... are you doing?" the Beast gasped.

"Ending you," Cameron replied. Maria's body had sagged to the ground between them, he was embracing the Beast now, as it was shrinking from threatening creature to the shrivelled Devkie it had invaded in the first place.

"You... can't..." flies dying by the hundreds filling windowsills through the distant city.

"I can because I will it." Cameron yanked the dagger again, felt the edge scraping ribs. "First rule, do what thou wilt. Second rule, any great act of power demands an equal sacrifice."

"But I..." the crows that had been circling the rooftops had taken flight, rain and feathers the same faded grey.

"Am the Beast? She never believed in that bullshit. Or in magic. To her you're just a Devkie cunt. And I am ending you." The blade was as immune to the power as Maria had been, immune to healing, to destruction. The natural laws were for once immutable, and there was nothing special about the man that he was killing. Nothing special at all. The eyes grew wide, stared blindly, and then the man that had been the best sank down to his knees, then fell over. Dying. Dead.

All was silent now as the rain poured down, mixing with the blood. The oppressive august heat had broken at last, the city sated, the madness spent.

"Want... want me to get rid off the bodies, Boss?" Eelis spoke nervously, and got the briefest nod in return.

"Yeah... do that." Cameron ran a hand over his face, then looked at it to see whether it was steady. It was. "Do that and then contact the boys. The Beast's territories should we wide open. We're moving in immediately."

It was done. Both the terror of the Beast and this illusion of a different fate for him. Now only the hunger remained. The hunger and the City.

...

"Shit." Noor let the word slip out as she looked at the notes spread out in front of her, the grainy pictures of what had once been a man that fell from a building, and a woman found burned beyond recognition a week later. A suicide and a murder with an unknown assailant.It had been tagged as a possible British Boys deed, a black supermarket cashier ending up with her throat slit and no enemies.

"Was that a curse?" Williams put down the cup in front of her, and she drank it down despite the burn. As if the pain had somehow been her salvation.

"I'm wondering if I'm heading down the wrong track or not," she admitted with a pained smile. "These notes... Eelis Jones was it that testified? Why wasn't this brought to trial?"

"I guess people had their reasons to bury it. As had this Jones for telling what he did. Maybe he thought his boss had gone to far."

"You can't go too far in that business, Jones would know that. Maybe this was bragging." She couldn't be sure, but part of her wondered if Cameron wasn't the kind of man who wanted his story told. Wanted recognition of his victory. She had used men that before, but it was a risky prospect.

Nevertheless she had to do something. And now she knew what.

#snippets #old stuff #from thief of nightmares

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setsuntamew · 5 years

Text

Kingdom Hearts 3 Liveblog: Part 1

As promised, all spoilers will be under a cut! My understanding of Japanese is very limited, but even with that in mind, there will be plenty of gameplay spoilers and some plot summaries. For now, all "screencaps" are taken with my phone, since I don't wanna spam my PSN friends with spoilers >< Sorry for the low quality shots!

So, for some context: I'm the one doing all the actual playing while Liz (dragonofeternal) and Pat (arahith) watch and provide commentary. I know very minimal Japanese, but the two of them know enough bits and pieces to translate the menus and get the gist of cut scenes. So while we're obv missing a lot of details, we've got a general idea of what's going on! However, this also means that I only have so many pics, because I was doing the gaming. Liz has a more detailed liveblogging experience going on over on their journal, and Pat is just dying of emotions (tho we're pretty much all doing that).

oh my god oh my god oh my god I honestly lost my mind just over the download. I didn't plan this is advance btw; I only realized I could buy digital games on the Japanese PSN a few hours after the game released in Japan, because I have no common sense I guess lmao.

IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! The opening was super gorgeous which like, yeah, I knew it would be from trailers...but seeing it actually happening on my TV??? SO GOOD. It's an extended version of the trailer too; it's got more scenes in it!! Also the only thing (so far at least) that blocks sharing of screenshots/video. The stained glass beginning is done differently than previous games, with floating screens showing clips from past games as your way of choose what to value versus what to give up. It is SLICK as fuck!! And then the big fuckin shadow that you fight (because there's always one....allways) is mirrored and different and it's in a world of pure sky. It's beautiful. It's enough to make me wish I had a 4K TV and PS4 Pro, tbh.

.........uhhhh excuse me? Fuck you Nomura I wanna play the god damn fucking video game please just let me into the fun fucking part of the game!! XD Anyway, the first world was Olympus and I spent most of it figuring out the controls, aka fucking everything up because X and O are reversed in Japanese. I knew this even, from play Final Mixes 1 and 2 back in the day, and yet? Still fuckin it up hardcore XD It's so much fun to play though, which is something I'm probably gonna say a ton of times, but it's true. Since it's the first world, it is technically the "tutorial" world but it doesn't feel like one. Learning all the new play styles comes organically, and it's all very intuitive- especially considering I can only understand about 30% of the instructions they game is giving me. I love Hercules; it's my favorite Disney movie. I nearly burst into tears of joy when I got to explore Thebes because holy shit it felt like walking through my favorite Disney movie??? It felt like it was crafted with such love and care...There was a lot of thought put into KH3, and it shines for it. I wish it hadn't been such a long wait but also? It's done so well, it was worth it. Also, controlling a giant magical pirate ship is the dopest thing ever and I would like to kill basically all heartless with that now. The magical Disney rides as an attack system works even better than I had hoped :D It's my favorite new addition so far. Going to Mt. Olympus was fantastic as well!!!! The whole time, Liz, and I were making jokes about how Sora was gonna have to apologize to Hercules for breaking all of the stuff in his dad's house, and I think Pat almost had a hernia when I started breaking things in Hephaestus's forge.

Finishing up Olympus rewarded me with my boy Riku!!!! He's been my fave since KH1 and just...hello Riku :D I fucking hate demon towers but playing as Riku was slick. It definitely reminded me of Aqua in 0.2, and it reflects the growth he's had versus Sora having to start all over again.

......why are your pants so awkward lookin though??? Like that's an......interesting bulge :T Please...please wear your pants differently in the future...

Aaaaaand my other boy, Ienzo!!!! I just about screamed and jumped out of my seat in excitement; I somehow didn't expect to see him quite so early!! I'm a little disappointed that we haven't gone to Radiant Garden so far, but cell phone Ienzo is more than enough to keep me satisfied. I loved him asking Aeleus if he wanted to talk to Roxas, too, because fuck that's adorable?? Too cute. Too good. If anyone makes Ienzo cry I will fight them. FUCKING TWILIGHT TOWN IS GORGEOUS I DIED FIFTY TIMES FROM JOY (but not during the massively overpowered demon tower fight because I'm good at video games). It was so fucking good to get to go back and see it lovingly rendered in high def. I almost immediately went to find the crack in the wall, got upset that someone had apparently fixed the glaring hole in the wall, and found a back way to the forest through the sewers :D

Remy is adorable??? Like I didn't get good enough shots because I was just too into the cut scene, okay, it was cute. I was very sad that they left him behind (and pleased when apparently Scrooge decided to employ him later, because he knows what's up).

Hi sorry I have to go cry??? Forever????????? Because apparently I wasn't ready to see the Twilight Town mansion without being a big fucking baby! I just...it breaks my heart. These kids and their tragedies hurt me deeply and just. It hurts so good.

R O X A S!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs sobs please help him Sora ;w;

Pence has hacked into the mainframe :D

NOT.

Real talk though, getting to see Hayner, Pence, and Olette again was so fucking good, and watching Pence be a useful nerd was A+ for sure. And just basically everyone being like yeah Sora can't work technology please keep him away from it forever, thanks. It's good. It's good shit!!!!

Something about this shot feels very melancholy, and I while I don't think it was what the end of this cut scene was supposed to feel like, it feels a bit like foreshadowing.

Speaking of problems...I know they were talking about something serious in this scene, but Liz and I kept re-dubbing it with cracky bullshit and so now it makes me giggle. Oops!! Seriously though, it's like "Hey Ansem, maybe stop checking out teenagers? It's getting kinda creepy, even for us villains." "But they're so cute..."

I'm so sorry I'm like this.

Aaaaaaand I'm gonna cut it here, with this fantastic Xemnas face! See y'all next time with Toybox, Kingdom of Corona, and potentially Monstropolis, depending on how much time I have to write at work today :D

#kingdom hearts #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers

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i-write-shakespeare-not-disney · 6 years

Text

Barrio Slums and More Ch. 9

Click Here for Chapter 1

Click Here for Chapter 8

Second part of Arin’s commission!!! Sorry it took so long! I ended up cutting it off at a break aha.

Feedback appreciated– Please reblog!– Let me know if you need translations!

*Remember to go to the Original Post if the READ MORE link doesn’t show!*

OR READ ON AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11558553

The Fourth of July barbecue was supposed to be the coming weekend after Keith’s “disappearance.”

Lance had called Beto and asked to talk to Keith shortly after the group had stopped by his house. Keith’s voice had become sharper despite Lance assuring him that nothing had happened. Keith had gotten in touch with Shiro through Lance the next day and assured him he was okay, but never told what had truly happened. He just kept repeating that he could handle it. Lance went over to Beto’s once more during the week and Keith had still been training. His cuts had healed, but were still very visible. His bruises had diminished enough that Nina could cover them with makeup.

Things at home had become routine again. Daniela would leave for work around nine, Lance would sit and watch cartoons with Emily and Alexia while Jackie and Jorge slept in, he’d make them a quick lunch, before going to help Tia Carla at the restaurant, and then return home at the same time as his mom. Jorge only left his room to eat, and even then would walk out with headphones, refusing to talk. The only time he acknowledged Lance was to let him know he’d watch the girls with Jackie while he worked.

That Friday, Papo and Buela had come over for dinner. He was still gruff and tense, but he was making conversation with Lance. They simply talked about everything except Keith and Lance’s sexuality. As much as it bothered Lance that they danced around it, seemed to want to pretend none of it had happened at all, he also knew that his grandparents had been raised completely different from him. And at their age, it would be near impossible to convince them to think more modernly. He didn’t want to keep arguing with them. For now, he would accept this much.

When Saturday night finally came around, Jorge had gone out with friends, Jackie had gone to see a movie with friends, and Lance had his barbecue. His mother was fine with staying home with the youngest girls, but she did give them each a curfew. Lance would be allowed home the latest, of course, and if any of them had trouble getting home or would be late, she expected a call.

Lance drove over to Beto’s where he was supposed to meet up with Keith and Nina.

Nina looked ridiculously beautiful with her tight curls and simple outfit of jean shorts and a crop top. She had the lithe body of a dancer. She had a natural beauty to her, and now that she had on some makeup, every pretty feature seemed to be enhanced.

Lance couldn’t help but gawk, and could only manage to shut his mouth when Keith jabbed an elbow into his rib. Lance blushed and apologized, but Keith only rolled his eyes.

Keith looked good too. He seemed emotionally and mentally better than he had a week ago, and it seemed to affect him physically too. He had on a thin black, long-sleeved shirt with torn black jeans and boots. The black on black was just something that Lance was always weak for, and had he topped it off with a leather jacket, Lance would’ve fainted right there. It was almost unfair that there were such beautiful people in the world.

And Lance got to go to this party with both of them.

“Okay, so I’m supposed to play your date, right? So flirty and stuff?”

Lance shrugged. “I mean, if you want. I just said I had a date. Whether you want to seem interested is your choice.”

“Don’t forget, your name is Selena tonight,” Keith added from the backseat.

“Her song was on!” Lance whined. “Whatever. Yeah, it’s Selena.”

Nina chuckled and nodded. “Okay. Well, we wanna make you look good, so I’ll pretend I’m into you too. Oh, and Keith, we can have like a little sign. So I know if I should reign it in or if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Lance glanced up at the rearview to gauge his reaction. Keith was blushing, that much he could tell. “Um, yeah. Sure,” he answered. “I mean, I don’t really think…. Um. Okay well, what kind of sign?”

“I dunno. Like… rub your nose or a code word.”

“I can just text you.”

“That works!”

Lance chuckled to himself and shook his head. “On another note…. Keith?” His violet eyes glanced up to meet Lance’s in the rearview. “You gonna be okay?”

He nodded, his expression absolute. “I’ve got this. I’m done running.” Lance nodded and looked back at the road, biting his tongue. A hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’ll be okay, Lance. Really.”

Every fiber of his being was telling Lance to make a U-turn and suggest a night in with movies and popcorn instead. But this wasn’t his battle. And knowing Keith, he’d find a way here anyway. As he pulled in to Shiro’s, he saw the familiar figures of Keith’s friends, as well as Allura. He didn’t see Michael, but he wasn’t that close.

“You guys go first. I don’t want them to know you were hiding me.” Lance sighed and nodded.

“If anything happens, or if you just want to go-”

Keith lurched forward to grab Lance by the shoulders. “Lance. Please relax.” He let his hands slip until he was holding Lance’s. “I’ve thought of every possible thing that could happen tonight, and I’m prepared.”

“I just don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish here. What’s the point of showing up at a party?”

“He won’t do anything to me here.” His eyes flitted to Nina who pretended to be busy on her phone. “It’ll give him time to cool off. I’ll go home and get my stuff and I’ll break up with him. I’ll be able to defend myself, I’ll get back to Beto’s, and… I’ll be okay.” He shrugged. “If we’re lucky he won’t even come here.”

Lance still didn’t feel good about this. Going to a party felt like the most ridiculous thing to do after everything. Still, he knew Keith also missed his friends. They hadn’t heard from him for a long time either.

Suddenly, Lance felt Keith’s lips on his cheek. “Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered.

“I’m just worried.”

“I know you are. But I have to do this. With or without you.”

Lance rolled his eyes. He knew that much about Keith; he was a stubborn guy that didn’t back down because something was hard. “I know. So I’d rather be here as it is.”

“Good. Now let’s go have some fun, okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes. Nina.” She looked over with a raised eyebrow. “Make him look good,” he said with a smirk. She smiled and gave him a fist bump.

“Pft, I always look good,” Lance muttered as he got out of the car. “I’ll lock it once you get over there.” Keith nodded and sat back as Lance and Nina walked over to the others. Nina wrapped her arm around his middle and moved Lance’s hand to rest across her shoulders.

As they approached the grill, the other’s smiled and greeted him. Hunk hugged him then shook Nina’s hand. “You’re Selena, right?” Lance fought the urge to grimace. Nina nodded. “I’m Hunk. It’s great to meet you. This is Katie. We call her Pidge. That’s Shiro, and that’s Allura. You guys want a beer?”

“I’ll take a Corona,” she answered.

“I’m good,” Lance said. He looked at Pidge who was tossing back a can of beer. “Why are you drinking?”

She raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Dude, I’m 17.”

Lance’s eyes went wide and bit his lip. “Holy shit, I thought you were like, 12 or something.”

She grimaced. “Yeah I get that a lot. Hunk, bring me another, please!” she called over her shoulder. “Oh, here’s some fold out chairs.”

Lance thanked her and sat down. He expected Nina to sit in the other, but she sat in his lap instead, which made Lance blush. He took a moment to regain his composure. “Have you guys heard from Keith?” he asked.

“No. We’re hoping he’ll show up tonight. I keep telling Shiro to file a missing person’s, but he says Keith will come back when he’s ready. Michael has just about torn up their place trying to get a clue on finding him.”

Nina decided to play dumb and asked, “Who’s Keith? Did he run away?”

“He’s our friend,” Hunk said, coming back with the drinks. “Yeah he… sort of did.”

“Why?”

Everyone shared a look. “We’re not entirely sure,” Hunk finally said.

“Well, people usually run away from something. That might be important to know if you want him to come back.” She shrugged innocently and wrapped her arms around Lance’s neck, leaning her head on his shoulder. Lance tried not to squirm.

Before long, Allura and Pidge started a conversation with Nina while Shiro flipped some pieces of sweet-smelling ribs that Hunk had prepared. Hunk sat with them, occasionally helping Shiro.

“Lance, how did you meet Selena?”

Lance stared at Allura, opened mouthed and racked his brain. He never thought to think up stories, and now he wasn’t sure what to say.

Thankfully, Nina came to the rescue. “Lance, don’t be so shy,” she giggled. “He was in the female hygiene aisle at the store. He looked so lost, I went to ask if he needed help. He was buying some stuff for his sister since she’s really shy about it.” Pidge and Allura hummed, sharing a look like they knew exactly what Nina was talking about. “It was so sweet, I couldn’t help but keep talking to him. I kept implying I wanted his number, but he didn’t get it.”

“Oh God, Lance,” Allura chuckled good-naturedly.

Lance managed a chuckle and laughed. “Hey, she’s here with me now, isn’t she? I had enough charm to get this far.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Hunk laughed.

“Oh my God.” Shiro’s tongs clattered, and everyone looked over to see what had distraught him.

Keith was walking up, hands shoved in his pockets and a shy smile on his face. “Hey, everyone.”

Shiro was the first one to pull him into a hug. Keith looked surprised, but he managed a soft chuckle. The others followed suit, even Lance.

“Dude where the hell have you been? We were worried sick,” Pidge said. “You could have called us or something!”

“I had some stuff to figure out.”

“Michael’s been looking all over for you,” Hunk said gently.

Keith’s expression soured. “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

That made the others hesitate and share looks with each other as Keith grabbed a beer. He looked at Nina and said, “Lance, you’re being rude. Who’s the lovely lady?”

Lance sputtered and ran a hand through his hair. “Oh, this is- Selena. She’s my…. Um.”

Nina nudged him and took his hand. “You could say girlfriend if you just asked,” she said, scooting closer to him.

The others whooped and egged him on, but Lance was looking at Keith, gauging his reaction. Keith simply smirked, raising his eyebrows, as if to say What are you waiting for, doofus?

Lance chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. Girlfriend…. If that’s cool?” It was a question directed at Keith. He smiled a little wider and winked so quickly, Lance wasn’t sure if it was just a twitch.

Nina threw her arms around Lance and giggled. “Of course it is.” She turned his head, hand at his cheek and brought him down. Lance panicked, certain that a kiss was much too far. Then he realized there was a thumb between their lips. Nina had place her hand so it looked like a normal kiss and allowed her thumb to intervene just before their lips met. Her head was tilted slightly so the others couldn’t tell, but they were too busy laughing and whooping and applauding anyway.

She pulled back and they sat back down. Lance saw Nina pull out her phone, typing a quick text.

No worries it was fake! Stage-kiss w/ thumb.

He glanced at Keith who was at the grill by Shiro. He noticed him check his phone and shake his head. A new message appeared on Nina’s screen.

Lol its cool. Ur doing great. So cute together ;))

Lance rolled his eyes and allowed himself to relax.

After a while, Lance started feeling more comfortable. He wasn’t so tense. There was no sign of Michael, Nina had easily assimilated to the group, Keith and Nina communicated over text and he didn’t seem bothered by the façade at all (though he did ask she refrain from kissing his cheek because that was their thing), and Lance even felt like this wasn’t a group of people he’d only met a few weeks ago. It was so easy, so fun, so silly.

Although they drank, no one was getting stupid drunk, the food was fucking delicious and not at all what Lance was accustomed to which made it fun. They even got in the pool, though Keith stayed out, claiming to keep Pidge, who was the only other person who didn’t want to get in, company.

Then the sound of a revving engine turned everyone’s attention to the driveway. Lance noticed Keith tense. Nina touched his shoulder gently, questioningly. A figure walked over, and it wasn’t long before Lance recognized Michael.

“Who called him?” Allura whispered.

“I didn’t,” Hunk swore. Shiro shook his head. Pidge glanced at Keith, a worried furrow in her eyebrows. At least, Lance thought, his friends seemed to be catching on.

“So none of you thought to tell me that my boyfriend came back?” he spat. He turned to face Keith and sighed, walking over to him, pulling him up. “Baby, are you okay? Are you hurt? Where were you? It doesn’t matter, you’re here now.” His hands cupped his face and Lance’s stomach lurched as he watched Michael pull Keith into a kiss. Every word dripped with fake sincerity, and it made Lance’s hands shake angrily.

Nina’s hand gripped one of his, squeezing, reminding him to calm down.

“Michael, man, let me get you some food, yeah?” Hunk said as he got out of the pool. Michael wrapped an arm around Keith and followed Hunk. But it was… strange. He walked slightly ahead of Keith, making the gesture seem more controlling than loving. Keith had yet to say a word.

Pidge neared the pool and sighed. “Keith messaged him. He asked for my phone and sent him a text a while ago.”

“Then maybe he wasn’t running from Michael?” Allura whispered. Lance noticed Shiro look over at him, but Lance was busy trying to wrap his head around the fact that Keith had been the one to ask Michael to arrive. He gulped and took a breath to steady himself.

“Let’s get out of the pool. At least be sure Keith’s alright,” Shiro said. They regrouped at the lawn chairs. Nina sat on Lance’s lap again, and this time he was grateful for it. It kept him from standing and trying to get Keith away from the manipulative fuck across from him.

It was sickening to watch Michael treat Keith like he gave a shit, like he hadn’t been the one who had injured Keith so badly, he was nearly unrecognizable. Just remembering the night Lance had picked him up made him have to shut his eyes a few times to calm down. This was not his fight.

He wasn’t sure what Keith was trying to do. He hadn’t smiled or spoken to the others yet. But he allowed Michael to hold his hand and answered his questions in whispers, his lips barely moving, and didn’t seem to be anxious to move away. His eyes flitted to Lance now and then, guarded and levelled.

It wasn’t until Shiro suggested they start setting up fireworks that Lance noticed anything wrong.

The group had gone to the front of the house to set up fireworks in the street. Lance had excused himself to go to the bathroom, and when he was on his way back, he found Michael and Keith near the cooler of drinks.

With the music shut off and the earlier conversations farther away, Lance could understand more on what they were saying.

“With a friend.”

“Who?” Keith remained quiet and Michael gripped his arm tightly enough to yank him forward. “Who? That scrawny little shit with the beard? He can’t fool me, I know he wants you. I know-”

“Jesus, would you shut the fuck-”

Michael’s swing happened quicker than Lance could process, making Keith cower back with a hand at his cheek. He’d managed a grip on Keith’s neck, forcing him back against the tool shed.

“Hey! Get the fuck away from him,” Lance shouted, moving forward. He didn’t care if this wasn’t his business. Keith wouldn’t keep getting hurt.

Suddenly Keith kicked out and Michael buckled, letting Keith drop to the floor. He scrambled away and tried to push Lance back. “Lance, stay out of it, please.”

Michael yanked him back and eyed Lance. “You heard him, puppy. Stay out of things that don’t concern you.”

“Listen, you piece of shit-”

Keith shook himself free and stepped forward, hands on Lance’s chest. “Please, just let it go. I’ve got this.” Lance looked at him in shock, but Keith’s expression was resolute.

“No. No, he’s just going to keep hurting you. You don’t deserve this shit, Keith.” He placed his hands on his arms tugging gently, begging him to get away. “Come on-”

Suddenly there was a hand on Lance’s wrist, twisting his arm in a way that made Lance scream as he pulled away. “Didn’t Mommy teach you to keep your hands off other people’s things,” he snarled, shoving Keith back with one hand.

Lance felt his vision go red. This asshole didn’t even see Keith as a person. He was a thing. An object. For Michael, Keith was something he owned, something he could do whatever he wanted to with no regards for Keith. He wasn’t trying to keep his boyfriend to himself, he was trying to keep a plaything. He dehumanized Keith and still had the guts to pretend like he was a caring boyfriend in front of everyone else.

Lance wasn’t sure how he’d ended up on the ground with this guy, swinging without any technique, grasping at his clothes to maneuver his way around. He couldn’t even feel the impact of the hits he was given or the ones he gave. Everything was muted and all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, all he felt was the shaking numbness coursing through his limbs.

It wasn’t until he felt a solid punch in the nose that he became vaguely aware of screaming and a ringing in his ears.

Suddenly Michael was hauled off of him and Lance felt someone pull him up into a sitting position. He was vaguely aware of Nina asking him if he was okay. He hauled himself up to stand and his eyes finally found Keith.

He was straddling Michael, hitting him over and over again, but there were tears streaking his face. Shiro managed to pull him back, but he was still struggling to land a hit. “No more. No more!” Keith shouted after him. “I’m done. I’m done letting you push me around.” He turned to his friends, looking afraid. Until his eyes fell on Lance. “You guys wanna know why I ran off?” He pulled off his shirt and stood up. Lance saw Allura and Pidge gasp as the leftover scars from Keith’s injuries were exposed. “This is why,” he croaked. “Because he did this to me. Because this piece of shit spends his free time whipping me, beating me until I can’t move and then pretending that I’m the psychopath! Because he’s nearly fucking killed me because I wanted to break up with him. Because every time he comes to ‘visit,’ he’s just finding excuses to beat me and it’s never enough for him.”

Michael started for him. “Keith, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

Hunk stepped in front of him. “You need to go,” he growled. “Now.”

“Hunk, come on, you know me.”

Hunk shook his head, eyes filled with disgust. Lance scrambled over to Keith, pulling him into his arms. He was shaking so much, that Nina had to help Lance lift him up off the ground. Shiro and Hunk managed to get Michael to leave. Pidge and Allura each brought ice for Lance and tissues for Keith. Hunk and Shiro returned, staying close but wordless.

Only Lance talked, holding Keith close, assuring him he was okay. Keith touched his new injuries lightly, eyes filled with horror, but Lance took his hand and assured him he was fine.

“Wanna go home?” Nina whispered. Keith nodded, still shaking, eyes on the floor.

Hunk touched Keith’s wrist gently to stop him. “Keith…. I’m so sorry. I’m so-” Hunk burst into tears, and it wasn’t a sight Lance ever wanted to see again. “It’s my fault, Keith. I should’ve never-”

“No it’s not,” Keith answered, sounding appalled. His voice was hoarse. “None of this is your fault. You didn’t know. You didn’t do anything.” Hunk shook his head and engulfed Keith in a hug, apologizing over and over.

Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s give Keith some time to breathe and rest. Lance, do you mind taking us wherever he’s staying tomorrow? I think we should all talk, if that’s okay, Keith.” Keith nodded and wiped his face.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. I’m gonna get them back though.”

The three of them walked back to the car and they drove over to Beto’s. As soon as the door opened, Beto’s eyes widened. “Shit, cuz what happened to your face?” he yelped. “Puta madre, the hell did you do?”

“He fought Keith’s ex,” Nina supplied.

“Ex?” Keith nodded and offered a small smile. Beto smiled and nodded. “Good.” He looked at Nina and gestured over to the couch. “Danny’s here by the way.”

Her eyes lit up and she walked over to the couch. “Manito!”

Beto looked back at Keith and Lance. “I wanna ask, but you look like you could use some rest, vato.” Keith nodded again and Beto gestured over to the hallway.

Lance walked with Keith to the room he was staying in. There was an inflatable mattress on the floor and a few worn boxes across the room. It looked like Beto had been using it for meaningless storage and stuffed a bed in it. Which he probably had.

“Could you… stay for a bit?” Keith whispered. Lance nodded and followed him to the inflatable bed, careful when he sat. “You’re an idiot, you know?” Lance blinked and looked over at him. There was a smile on his face, which told him he didn’t mean it maliciously. “You shouldn’t have fought him. But I don’t think I’d have gotten the guts to tell the truth if you hadn’t.” He sniffed and leaned onto Lance’s shoulder.

“Pidge said you messaged him.”

Keith nodded. “I wanted him to be there. I wanted to confront him. I wanted to be able to break up with him tonight.” He gulped and seemed to struggle to breathe. “Stay with me. Please.”

“Of course,” Lance murmured. Keith pulled him so they laid on the bed, facing each other, draped with a soft, black blanket. “You’re safe, Keith.”

Keith nodded and took a breath as he shut his eyes. Lance fell asleep rubbing circles into his back.

He woke up when Keith jerked in his arms and sat up gasping. Lance sat up, but Keith panicked and backed away from him, plopping onto the ground, tugging the blanket with him.

“Whoa, hey, hey, hey!” Lance whispered. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” Keith took a moment to take in his surroundings and nodded. “Let’s go get some air, yeah?” Again Keith nodded. He followed Lance out of the room, their hands intertwined. The apartment was dark. Beto was asleep. Nina and the other boy, Danny, must have gone home. Lance opened the door to the patio and let Keith go first. They were still in the clothes they’d taken to the barbecue.

Keith leaned his arms on the railing and ran a hand through his hair. “I had a nightmare. He’d come to find me. Kept saying he’d kill me…. Hit me and tossed me down the stairs.” Lance shivered because even if it was just a nightmare, it could very well be a reality. “I don’t… really know what to do anymore,” he whispered. “For a long time, I was just focused on finding a way out. Now that I did… what am I supposed to do? Where do I go? Where can I go that he won’t find me? What if he sees me with you and tries to hurt you again?”

Lance walked over to him and turned him away from the street to face him. “Hey. It’s okay. We’ll take it one step at a time. Right now though, you’re free.”

Keith blinked and a slow smile began to spread on his face. “Free,” he repeated. “How do you say that in Spanish?”

“Libre.” Keith hummed. “You want to learn a few more? Get your mind off of things?” Keith took a breath and nodded. Lance began reciting one of his favorite songs as a child. “Pollito- chicken. Gallina- hen. Lápiz- pencil. Pluma-”

Keith started laughing and he tilted his head. “Are you teaching me or singing to me?”

Lance rolled his eyes and interlocked their hands. “Okay, okay. These are simple, you’ve learned them before. Let’s see if you remember. Ventana.”

“Window,” Keith answered.

“Puerta.”

“Door.”

“Maestro.”

He paused and grimaced. “Something….”

Lance snorted and moved on. “Y piso?”

“Mm… floor.”

Lance nodded and smiled. “Three out of four. You passed. Wanna learn more?” Keith nodded, looking into his eyes with his own smile. He looked so… unreal in the moonlight. His black clothes and hair struggled to distinguish themselves from the night, but his eyes shone. It was like he was looking at his own personal galaxy. Lance recalled the day before, how small he seemed under Michael’s grasp, how distraught he’d been when he’d finally exposed Michael for what he was. “Calor is heat. Azul is blue…. Dolor is pain.”

Keith bit his lip, his eyes returning to the street. “What about to say, ‘hug me?’”

“Abrázame.” Keith nodded and repeated it as he slipped his hands around Lance. Biting his lip, Lance hugged him back, holding him tightly.

“Hey, Lance?” He hummed, rocking gently on his feet so they swayed as they hugged. “How do you say ‘kiss me?’”

Lance gulped and pulled his head back, arms still around him. He looked at Keith, and even in the moonlight he could tell he was blushing. “Bésame,” he whispered.

“Well, if you insist,” Keith said with a smirk. His hands slid behind Lance neck and pulled him forward.

It was simple. Their lips pressed together, eyes shut. Lance felt his entire body spark, the adrenaline stronger than what he’d felt during the fight. He was so distracted by what the kiss caused his heart to do, that he wasn’t even paying attention to the kiss itself.

Not until Keith pulled back enough to make the air feel cold on their lips and whispered, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now. Can you at least kiss me like you mean it?” Lance chuckled and cupped his face before pulling him into a kiss far more fervid than their first.

Everything about it was new and clumsy and beautiful. Lance hadn’t kissed someone like this in a long time. He tilted his head, drowning in the bliss he felt as their lips clashed, as he gasped for air between the moments of biting Keith’s lips and tasting his mouth. He pressed himself closer, wanting to be completely enveloped in the warmth of Keith’s being.

He didn’t miss the small moan that reverberated from Keith’s throat to his lips. He couldn’t help but smile as he kissed him. Even as the kiss ended, it ended in several smaller kisses, like neither of them really wanted to stop- which they didn’t.

“Whoa,” Keith breathed, looking at him with flushed cheeks, glistening lips, and dazed eyes. He was beautiful. “That was worth the wait.” Lance smiled widely, bumping their noses together. “I want to stay in this moment. Right now. When it’s the middle of the night and everyone’s asleep and no one gives a shit whether we kiss or not and I’m not scared and it’s just us.”

“I’ll kiss you when the sun rises,” Lance whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone where, a week ago, there had been a dark purple bruise. “And as it moves across the sky.” He kissed the corner of his lip, where there was a fading scar. “And when it sets again.” He kissed his jaw which had sported a yellowed bruise just a few days ago still. “And all through the night. For as long as you want me to.”

Keith laughed, his hands playing with Lance’s hair. “Wow. You’re a total romantic, aren’t you?” Lance stuck his tongue out at him, but Keith simply took him by the chin and kissed him. “I don’t care what happens or who cares about us once the sun rises. As long as you’re with me.”

Lance smiled, responding with another, softer kiss. “Te lo prometo.”

Lance and Keith had returned to the air mattress after a few more kisses in the summer night heat. Even as they laid down, they were pressing lazy kisses to whatever skin they could touch- a nose, the bow of a lip, fingers, knuckles, a forehead.

Lance had fallen asleep to those kisses and he couldn’t imagine a better way.

But he had woken up to a harsh opening of the door. “Dude, what the hell?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily as Keith sat up with a gasp. “Pendejo, your jefa’s been calling me since like four in the morning.”

“Wh- Oh fuck.” He patted his pockets for his phone but came up empty. “Shit, shit, shit!”

He scrambled out of the bed, confused when he saw some guy sitting at the table with a coffee, scrolling through his phone. But he didn’t have time for introductions. He dashed to his car, fumbling and searching. He found his phone in the space between the door and the driver’s seat. It had five percent left, and he found ten missed calls from his mom and a few from Jackie. He looked at the text previews.

Mami: Call me. Now. (2)

Jackie: Mom’s pissed where the hell are…. (3)

“Fuck,” he breathed. He tried to send a text back, but halfway through, the phone shut off. He went back inside and gratefully took a cup of juice from Beto. “I’m so fucked, man. I totally forgot to call her. Shit.”

“You needa go home, menso.” He grabbed Lance’s keys and tossed them over. “She’s gonna freak when she sees your face, todo puteado.”

“Beto, you gonna introduce me or not?” came the voice from the dining table.

Beto sighed and gestured. “This is my cousin Lance. That’s Nina’s brother, Danny.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Lance said. “Where’s Keith?”

“Over here,” he yawned from the couch. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. I’ll explain to my mom, it’ll be fine. I’ll call later, okay?”

Keith nodded, eyebrows furrowed in worry as he leaned up to kiss him. “Be careful.” Lance nodded and smiled, a little of the panic simmering down at Keith’s touch.

Lance walked toward the door and Beto followed after him. “Someone got busy last night,” he chuckled.

“Nah, it’s not like that,” Lance said. “Just made out.” Beto snorted. “Whatever I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Beto laughed and clapped him on the back. “Whatever you say, primo. Let me know if you die because of Tia Dani.” Lance rolled his eyes and got in his car.

As he parked the car in front of the house, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. All he’d needed to do was call. Instead, he let his mother worry for the entire night. He got out and went into the house. His brother, sisters, and mom were all in the living room.

“Jackie, take the girls,” Daniela said, eyes locked on Lance. Jackie sighed and took Emily and Alexia by the hand to the backyard. Daniela stood up and walked over to Lance. “Donde chingados estabas?”

“Ma, I know I should’ve called, but Keith-”

She held up her hand to silence him. “No. I’m done hearing your excuses, carajo. You listen to me. I gave you one simple rule- call if you’re late. And what do you do? You stay out the whole damn night without ever once thinking to call or send a text!”

“I forg-”

“Estoy hablando yo, cállate.” She fixed him with an angry expression. “Do you realize how hard it is for me to raise five kids on my own? Primero tu,” she said, looking at Jorge. “Going off to parties and getting drugged up. Then you start talking back and shutting us out.” Jorge rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “And you!” Lance grimaced as she pointed at him. “You drop out of college, and you hide it for months! Instead of coming to your family like you should! Don’t you realize we’re here to help? Y pa’ acabarla de joder, you come back saying you’re figuring out a way back in, but all you’ve been doing is going after this boy. All night, Lance! You were gone all night! I didn’t know if you got in an accident, or if there was a drive by, or if you’d decided to just run away-”

“You know I wouldn’t do that, Ma.”

“Do I? Because I’m starting to feel like I don’t know either of you.” Lance took a sharp breath and clenched his jaw. “Since when do you disappear and come back with a black eye? Now what the hell happened to your face?”

Lance sighed and swallowed. “I got in a fight with Keith’s boyf- um, ex-boyfriend.”

His mother stared at him with no expression, and it was honestly terrifying. His mother was a woman of expression. Anger, joy, sadness, it was all easily discerned on Daniela’s face. Now though she seemed completely void of any emotion. And then-

“You are not to see that boy again.”

“Mom!”

“Not until you get your shit together and show me that you’ve either been accepted to start college again or you have an actual full-time job!” she shouted over him. “Jorge thinks I favor you. Really, I just thought you were an adult and capable of handling yourself. You proved me wrong, mijo.”

Jorge snickered and she turned to him. “Don’t think you’re getting off that easy! Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was for your friend to drive you back here with you stumbling over yourself? Hijo de la chingada, ya me tienes hasta aqui! You are grounded! No phone, no more parties.”

“Oh, please, how do you plan to do that? You’re barely even here,” Jorge answered.

“Because I’m working my ass off!” she snapped back. “I’m getting your buela to come watch you and if you give her a hard time, so help me I will look into the military school those people on TV always talk about.”

Jorge looked tired and annoyed. “Whatever.” He got up and went to his room, slamming the door for good measure.

“I can’t look at you right now. Go.” Lance wanted to stay. To explain himself, to talk to his mother. But he knew she wasn’t in the mood for it. And she was kind of right. Lately, Lance had completely forgotten about reapplying to schools. He was so panicked about the stupid party. He started for his room, but she stopped him. “Ah-ah. Phone. You don’t seem to use it anyway.” It felt so juvenile, and after so long on his own, Lance felt ridiculous giving into his mother’s child punishments. But he did anyway.

He went to his room and paced around, looking at the posters on the wall and the books on a shelf. He opened his computer and sighed, as he started redrafting a letter to the admissions team at his college. He looked into applying to others as well. He found himself looking into the community college and U of H, despite not applying there originally.

It wasn’t that these were bad schools. It’s the fact that his goal had always been to get the hell out. To leave Houston and make something of himself like his buela said he would. He’d worked so hard, purposefully avoiding applications to Houston universities to ensure he got away. He loved his family, but he needed to figure who he was. He needed to be on his own.

Lot of good it did him in the end.

The only thing was, he wasn’t entirely sure why he was looking into applying now. Was it to stay with his family for help? Or for Keith…? Could he live with himself if he stayed?

#klance #tw: abuse #yes this is inspired and based off in the heights leave me alone lol #keith x lance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #VOLTRON #vld #au

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ivana-cendic-71 · 4 years

Text

Glimpses from KAILASA Courtyard Session with HDH Nithyananda Paramashivam

12 July 2020

12 JUL 2020 - SUNDAY 1:40 AM IST - PRAYER FOR SPEEDY RECOVERY OF SRI AMITABH BACHCHAN, LEADERS OF NATIONS AND MEMBERS OF GOVERNMENTS - GIST (ENGLISH)

*I SINCERELY OFFER MY PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF SRI AMITABH BACHCHAN AND SRI ABHISHEK BACHCHAN.

*SRI AMITABH BACHCHAN IS TOO IMPORTANT FOR HINDUISM. THE LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT LEFT FOR HINDUISM IN BOLLYWOOD IS BECAUSE OF SRI AMITABH BACHCHAN JI AND TEAM. SO, I SINCERELY OFFER MY PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF SRI AMITABH BACHCHAN JI AND SRI ABHISHEK BACHCHAN JI.

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF BELGIUM PRINCE JOACHIM

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF AUSTRALIA HOME AFFAIRS MINISTER PETER DUTTON

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF SAUDI ARABIA’S PRINCE FAISAL BIN BANDAR

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF THE RUSSIAN PRIME MINISTER MIKHAIL MISHUSTIN

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF THE WIFE OF SPANISH PRIME MINISTER BEGONA GOMES

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER OF SPAIN CARMEN CALVO

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF FRANCE MINISTER OF CULTURE FRANCK RIESTER

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF HONDURAS PRESIDENT JUAN ORLANDO HERNÁNDEZ AND HIS WIFE

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF BRAZILIAN PRESIDENT JAIR BOLSONARO

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF PRIME MINISTER NUNO GOMES NABIAM OF GUINEA BISSAU

*I OFFER SINCERE PRAYERS TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF THE BOLIVIAN INTERIM PRESIDENT JEANINE ANEZ

*LET US CHANT PARAMASHIVA DHYANA MANTRA TO OFFER HEALING TO ALL OF THEM, PRAYING TO PARAMASHIVA FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF ALL OF THEM AND EVERYONE AFFECTED BY CORONAVIRUS.

*SIT IN NIRVIKALPA SAMADHI CONNECTING WITH PARAMASHIVA IN ONENESS, RADIATING PARAMASHIVA TO HEAL THE WORLD. LET US ALL BE UNCLUTCHED.

*I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IS PRALAYA. LITERALLY WHAT WE USED TO KNOW IS MELTING DOWN.

*I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO COME BUT WHEN IT IS REALLY HAPPENING, EVEN FOR ME IT IS TOO MUCH.

*I SINCERELY WANT ALL OF YOU TO PRACTICE MORE AND MORE UNCLUTCHING IN A DEEP WAY.

*HELP EVERY PERSON IN THE PLANET EARTH TO UNCLUTCH. THIS IS THE GREATEST YOU CAN GIVE TO YOU AND TO OTHERS.

*I KNOW THIS IS COMING. IF YOU SEE MY LIFE, LIFESTYLE, DECISIONS I MADE LAST TWO YEARS, YOU CAN SEE VERY CLEARLY, I WAS PREPARING ALL OF YOU FOR THIS AND POST-CORONA WORLD.

*WHEN I TOLD, “JUST PLEASE DON’T DIE FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS. I WILL REACH ENLIGHTENMENT WHEREVER YOU ARE,” MANY PEOPLE TROLLED, ABUSED AND ATTACKED ME. THEY NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE SERIOUSNESS WITH WHICH I WAS UTTERING THOSE WORDS. I WAS REPEATING IT. ANYHOW, ALL THE KAILAYAVASIS AND MY DEVOTEES CAN UNDERSTAND, HOW POLITELY, HUMBLY, I PREPARED ALL OF YOU FOR THIS PRALAYA AND POST-PRALAYA WORLD.

*OUR WHOLE SANGHA IS NOT AT ALL HAVING ANY SHOCK BECAUSE LAST TWO YEARS I HAVE ESTABLISHED WHATEVER QUARANTINE WE ARE GOING THROUGH. MULTIPLE TIMES I MADE KAILAYAVASIS SIT FOR HOURS, SOMETIMES EVEN DAYS, IN ONE PLACE AND MEDITATE AND WORK!

*EVEN AADHEENAVASIS ASKED, “WHY SWAMIJI IS EXPECTING US TO BE IN ONE PLACE AND JUST USE THE RESTROOM, TAKE BATH, COME BACK, DO PUJA, YOGA, MEDITATION, DO ALL THE WORK DIGITAL-BASED AND BE IN ONE PLACE?”

*AT LEAST FIVE TIMES I TRAINED ALL MY KAILAYAVASIS IN BIDADI, TIRUVANNAMALAI, MADURAI, GUJARAT INTENSELY FOR QUARANTINE WITHOUT USING THE WORD QUARANTINE!

*WHOEVER TRAINED THEMSELVES FOR QUARANTINE WITHOUT HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN WILL UNDERSTAND HOW USEFUL THAT TRAINING IS NOW. WHOEVER RESISTED AND RAN AWAY ARE NOW HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWN THIS QUARANTINE.

*ONE FELLOW RAN AWAY SAYING, “DON'T LOCK ME UP IN A ROOM.” NOW HE IS LIVING LOCKED UP IN HIS ROOM FOR MONTHS. IF HE WAS IN MADURAI, AT LEAST HE WOULD HAVE GOT ENLIGHTENED BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE ENERGY FIELD OF MEENAKSHI. NOW HE IS ROTTING IN DEPRESSION.

*LAST TWO YEARS IF YOU SEE: ALL MY DECISIONS, ALL MY TRAINING FOR KAILAYAVASIS, CONTINUOUSLY I WAS INSISTING TO WORK ON VERTICAL GARDEN, AGRICULTURE, TO GROW EVERYTHING WE NEED IN THE CAMPUS ITSELF AND I WAS INSISTING THAT GOVERNMENT WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SUPPLY ELECTRICITY. THEY WERE NOT ABLE TO UNDERSTAND.

*WITHIN NEXT 6 MONTHS, ALL OUR KAILAYAVASIS SHOULD BECOME SELF-SUSTAINING, INCLUDING ELECTRICITY AND WATER. GO FOR SOLAR POWER AND RAIN WATER HARVESTING AND VERTICAL GARDENING. LAST TWO YEARS I WAS INSISTING AND WORKING ON THESE INFRASTRUCTURES.

*WE ARE SUCCESSFUL IN ESTABLISHING WHAT WE NEED INSIDE OUR CAMPUS.

*AND I WAS INSISTING ON PEOPLE SITTING IN ONE PLACE AND DOING YOUR SPIRITUAL ROUTINE AND LIFE IN AN ORGANISED WAY. THAT WAS THE POWERFUL TRAINING FOR QUARANTINE WITHOUT GOING THROUGH THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND PANDEMIC FATIGUE.

*PEOPLE WHO ABUSED ME FOR PREPARING MY KAILAYAVASIS TO FACE THIS PRALAYA ARE NOW COLLAPSING IN PANDEMIC FATIGUE AND KAILAYAVASIS ARE JUST CELEBRATING THIS LIFE BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN PREPARED.

*THE SELF-SUSTAINING SPIRITUAL ECOSYSTEMS ARE PREPARED MENTALLY. THEY HAVE BEEN PREPARED TO LIVE UNCLUTCHED LIFE, HAPPILY WITHOUT HAVING PANDEMIC FATIGUE OR MENTAL BREAKDOWN. THEY CAN HAPPILY SIT IN ONE PLACE, DO YOGA, PUJA, MEDITATE, DO ALL WORK THROUGH DIGITAL PLATFORM!

*I WANT KAILAYAVASIS TO COMPILE ALL MY INSTRUCTIONS TO YOU IN THE LAST TWO YEARS. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND, I WAS PREPARING ALL OF YOU FOR THIS PRALAYA! WHOEVER RAN AWAY AND ABUSED ME AND THIS SANGHA FOR THIS PREPARATION, ARE SUFFERING AND COLLAPSING IN THIS PRALAYA.

*OUT OF DELUSIONAL ARROGANCE, YOU MAY EVEN SAY, “EVEN IF WE DIE WE WANT TO DIE LIKE THAT.” OK, IT IS UP TO YOU.

*LAST TWO YEARS I WAS BUILDING THIS CONSCIOUS SHIP AND PROTECTING ALL MY KAILAYAVASIS AND TRAINING THEM FOR THIS PRALAYA.

*EVEN NOW IT IS NOT TOO LATE. I KEEP MY CONSCIOUS SHIP DOORS OPEN. WHOEVER WANTS TO BE PHYSICALLY PROTECTED FOR SURE: GET INTO MY KAILASAS BEFORE THINGS BECOME MORE WORSE.

*IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO PHYSICALLY GET INTO MY KAILASAS, AT LEAST COME INTO THIS ENLIGHTENED ORGANISED LIFESTYLE.

*GODS LIVE IN AN ORGANIZED WAY.

*IN THE DEVALOKA, GODS’ WORLD, THERE MIGHT BE ONE OR TWO CONFUSIONS, CHAOS. BUT BEING ORGANIZED IS A LIFESTYLE. SMALL CHAOS OR CONFUSION IS AN EXEMPTION.

*IF YOU PERCEIVE UNIVERSE IS ORGANISED, YOU ARE IN THE STATE OF DEVA.

*IF YOU PERCEIVE UNIVERSE IS CHAOS, YOU ARE IN THE STATE OF DEVIL, DEMON.

*I CAN SEE: EVEN THIS PRALAYA IS VERY ORGANIZED.

*I WANT ALL THE KAILAYAVASIS IN BIDADI, TIRUVANNAMALAI, MADURAI, TO LIST DOWN ALL THE MAJOR TRAINING I WAS GIVING LAST TWO YEARS. LIST THEM DOWN. EVERY SINGLE INSTRUCTION. IF I HAD GIVEN 100 INSTRUCTIONS, EVERY SINGLE INSTRUCTION IS TO FACE THIS PRALAYA!

*MY INSISTENCE TO SIT IN PARAMASHIVOHAM OFFICE AND USING THOSE RESTROOMS, MEDITATING,UNCLUTCHING CONTINUOUSLY, DOING YOGA AND PERFORMING ALL YOUR ACTIVITIES, WORK, THROUGH DIGITAL NATION...EVERYTHING...EVERY INSTRUCTION IS TO FACE THIS PRALAYA AND REBUILD, REVIVE KAILASA AFTER THIS PRALAYA.

*TO PROTECT ALL OF YOU, I HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH OF ABUSE. IF A PERSON ‘A’ GETS INTO A MOOD SWING AND VOMITS HER POISON/SHIT ON PERSON ‘B’ AND PERSON ‘B’ EATS ALL THAT POISON/GURU ABUSAL/SANGHA ABUSAL, THEN PERSON ‘B’ LOSES ALL THE FEELING CONNECTION, ALL THE SPIRITUAL THINGS I GIFTED AND STARTS GOING AROUND VOMITING THE SAME SHIT/POISON/GURU ABUSAL/SANGHA ABUSAL TO EVERYONE. SUDDENLY, AFTER SOME YEARS, PERSON ‘A’ REALISES THAT BECAUSE OF HER MOOD SWING SHE THREW THE POISON ON EVERYONE, AND SHE COMES BACK AND CONNECTS BACK AND ALIGNS HERSELF AND DOES THE PRAYASCHITTA NEEDED. BUT PERSON ‘B’ WHO LOST ME AND ALL THE PEOPLE THROUGH PERSON ‘B’ - LIKE ‘C’, ‘D’, ‘E’, WHO ALL LOST, ARE THE LOSERS. PERSON ‘A’ MAY START DOING PRAYASCHITTA, SAVING HERSELF AND EVOLVING, BUT SHE WILL SUFFER ALL THE KARMA OF DESTROYING THE GURU BHAKTI OF PERSON B, C, D, E AND THE WHOLE CHAIN MLM (MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING) OF GURU DROHA, SANGHA DROHA. THAT KARMA COMES BACK TO THE PERSON WHO STARTED THIS CHAIN.

*LAST TWO YEARS IF YOU SEE ALL MY ACTIVITY/TRAINING,....THOUSANDS OF TINS I BOUGHT. THEY ASKED ME, “WE HAVE HUNDREDS OF ACRES OF LAND WHERE WE CAN GROW! WHY?” NOW WITH VERTICAL GARDEN WE CAN GROW WITH LESS WATER! ON GROUND WE WILL GROW RICE. VEGETABLES WE WILL GROW IN TINS. WE NEED ALL THE GRAINS ON THE GROUND LIKE PADDY ETC.

*AND I REPEATED THESE WORDS: THERE WILL BE A TIME DURING THE PRALAYA WHEN MONEY WILL NOT GET YOU FOOD. WE MAY HAVE MONEY BUT MONEY WILL NOT GET YOU FOOD.

*EVERY WORD I UTTERED IN THE LAST TWO YEARS DURING PUBLIC SATSANG, EVERY SESSION I HAVE GIVEN TO MY KAILAYAVASIS, COMPILE THE WHOLE THING.

*FORMALLY I WITHDREW FROM HUMAN SOCIETY ON 6 JUNE 2018. IF I WAS ALLOWED TO LIVE IN THE HUMAN SOCIETY TODAY, SURELY I WOULD HAVE PERSONALLY VISITED AND PRAYED FOR THE SPEEDY RECOVERY OF SHRI AMITABH BACHCHAN JI. UNFORTUNATELY THE ANTI-HINDU ELEMENTS DID NOT EVEN ALLOW ME TO LIVE. BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO BE ALIVE TO HELP HUMANITY TO SAIL THROUGH THIS PRALAYA. THAT IS THE REASON I HAD TO WITHDRAW.

*IT IS THE DIRECT INSTRUCTION OF PARAMASHIVA TO BUILD THIS CONSCIOUS SHIP. IN THIS PRALAYA, DELUSION IS NOT PHYSICAL. SO I DID NOT HAVE TO BUILD LIKE MANU’S SHIP OR NOAH’S ARK. IT IS GOING TO BE MORE LIKE A DELUGE OF DELUSION, MORE OF PANDEMIC FATIGUE. ALL THE DELUSION IS GOING TO BE WASHED OUT. HUGE DELUSIONS ARE GOING TO COLLAPSE.

*THIS TIME THE PRALAYA IS OF DIFFERENT TYPE, SO PARAMASHIVA HAS VERY CLEARLY INSTRUCTED ME TO BUILD A CONSCIOUS SHIP, NOT PHYSICAL SHIP.

*EACH OF YOU WHO WITHSTOOD THE TRAINING I GAVE LAST TWO YEARS, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND: I PREPARED YOU FOR THE PRALAYA. YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY SUCH STRONG BEINGS WHO CAN WITHSTAND THE QUARANTINE FOR HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, EVEN MONTHS!

*ALL THOSE WHO ABUSED ME FOR THIS TRAINING ARE SUFFERING WITH PANDEMIC FATIGUE AND COLLAPSING.

*EVEN NOW I REQUEST ALL OF YOU: ADD MORE AND MORE UNCLUTCHING. ENRICH YOURSELF WITH UNCLUTCHING, COMPLETION, ONENESS, AJAPA JAPA OF MAHAVAKYA, DEEP POWERFUL COGNITIONS, PUJA, YOGA, VEGETARIAN DIET, NIRAHARA SAMYAMA, AND ENRICH EVERY INDIVIDUAL YOU CAN. REACH OUT AT LEAST WITH UNCLUTCHING TECHNIQUE BECAUSE THE PANDEMIC FATIGUE IS GOING TO BE TOO BAD. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF THIS PRALAYA IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

*THIS PANDEMIC IS NOT GOING TO SWALLOW EVEN ONE PERCENT OF THE WORLD POPULATION BUT IS GOING TO AFFECT THE LIVELIHOOD OF 50% OF THE HUMANITY AND LIFESTYLE OF 100% OF HUMANITY.

*THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF THIS PRALAYA IS GOING TO BE TOO STRONG. WITHOUT UNCLUTCHING YOU CAN'T BE EVEN MENTALLY A STABLE PERSON. UNCLUTCHING IS NOT LUXURY. IT IS SURVIVAL NEED. OTHERWISE THE UNKNOWN AGITATION YOU WILL GO THROUGH WILL BE TOO MUCH.

*TO KILL A MONKEY, A SMALL WOUND IS ENOUGH IN ITS HAND OR ANYWHERE IN THE BODY. IT WILL JUST SCRATCH AND WILL NOT ALLOW IT TO HEAL ITSELF AND IT WILL GET INFECTED AND DIE. THE WHOLE HUMANITY IS GOING TO GO THROUGH THE SAME KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL AGITATION.

*LEARN UNCLUTCHING. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL SAVE YOURSELF FROM THIS PANDEMIC FATIGUE, DELUSIONAL ARROGANCE, DELUSIONAL IGNORANCE.

*OTHERWISE, THE UNKNOWN AGITATION HAPPENING IN YOU... OUT OF THAT, YOU WILL MAKE MAJOR DECISIONS IN YOUR LIFE. OUT OF TEMPORARY AGITATION YOU WILL MAKE PERMANENT DAMAGES.

*LOVE ORGANISED LIFESTYLE. BE ORGANISED.

*LIFE IS NOT DIFFICULT IF WE LOVE ORGANISED LIFESTYLE.

*DO NOT FALL INTO DELUSIONAL IGNORANCE AND DO NOT HOLD ON TO DELUSIONAL IGNORANCE DUE TO DELUSIONAL ARROGANCE.

*THIS SARVARI YEAR PREDICTION IS: WHOLE HUMANITY WILL BE AFFECTED BY DISEASES. RAINS WILL FAIL. I AM NOT SAYING THERE WON'T BE RAIN. THERE WILL BE CHAOS IN RAIN. SUDDENLY IT WILL APPEAR IN LARGE QUANTITY AND DESTROY THE CROP. SUDDENLY IT WILL NOT APPEAR AND KILL THE CROP. AGRICULTURE CROP WILL NOT YIELD THE EXPECTED PRODUCE.

*THIS IS PRALAYA.

*ALL THOSE WHO ARE LIVING AND LIVED IN KAILASA, WHO WITHSTOOD MY TWO YEARS’ TRAINING ARE BLESSED! YOU ARE PERFECTLY PREPARED PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, CONSCIOUSLY, NOT ONLY TO WITHSTAND PRALAYA, BUT TO REVIVE THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION POST PRALAYA!

*UNDERSTAND: EVERYDAY, WELL KNOWN CELEBRITIES IN EVERY FIELD - ENTERTAINMENT, POLITICS, ARE OPENLY COMING OUT AND DECLARING THEY ARE HAVING MENTAL BREAK DOWN AND COLLAPSING. THEY ARE NOT ABLE TO HANDLE THE PRALAYA AND ITS IMPACT ANYMORE, NOT JUST THE QUARANTINE. THE PEER PRESSURE, JEALOUSY AND COMPARISON WAS THE FUEL AND INSPIRATION TO RUN THE LIFE FOR MANY OF THE CELEBRITIES, WHETHER IN POLITICS OR ENTERTAINMENT, PRACTICALLY IN EVERY FIELD.

*WHY SO MUCH OF DEPRESSION, MENTAL BREAKDOWN, SUICIDE ALL OVER THE WORLD?

*IT IS BECAUSE THE PEER PRESSURE, COMPARISON, JEALOUSY, ALL THE THOUGHT CURRENTS WHICH WAS ENERGY, FUEL, IS SUDDENLY MISSING. IT IS NOT THERE ANYMORE!

*THE DELUSION WHICH THEY NEEDED TO RUN THEIR LIFE IS MISSING. SO THEY DON'T KNOW THE GOAL AND PURPOSE OF LIFE.

*LAST TWO YEARS I WAS INSISTING TO START LIVING ONLY BASED ON INTENSE POWERS COGNITIONS. EVEN NOW, OH HUMANITY! I AM NOT ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED ME TO LIVE WITH YOU. IT IS OK. I AM HERE. I WILL CONTINUE TO DO MY JOB OF HELPING YOU, SUPPORTING YOU, TO SAIL THROUGH THIS PRALAYA WITH POWERFUL COGNITIONS AND POWER MANIFESTATION SCIENCE.

*ONCE THE PRALAYA SETTLES, THE POST-PRALAYA, I WILL OPEN MYSELF AND MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE TO HUMANITY AND REVIVE THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION - KAILASA.

*I AM JUST WAITING FOR THE PRALAYA TO SETTLE DOWN. IT WILL REACH ITS PEAK BY DECEMBER 14TH AND AFTER THAT, IT WILL START SETTLING DOWN. THEN IT WILL COMPLETELY SETTLE DOWN. BUT TILL DECEMBER 14TH, IT IS ONLY GOING TO GO UP, UP,UP, UP AND UP.

*IF YOU ARE ALREADY IN KAILASA, BE INFORMED THE GREATEST NEWS: YOU ARE IN THE MOST SAFE PLACE!

*ALL KAILASAS ARE DIRECTLY PROTECTED BY MAHAKALABHAIRAVA

*EVEN NOW I AM TELLING: IT IS NOT TOO LATE. IF YOU HAVE LEFT KAILASA BECAUSE YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS TRAINING ALL YOU PEOPLE, NOW YOU UNDERSTAND, SO COME BACK. PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THIS PRALAYA AND GET TRAINED TO GIVE SUPERCONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH TO HUMANITY AFTER THIS PRALAYA SETTLES DOWN.

*ALL MY KAILAYAVASIS WHO WITHSTOOD MY TRAINING FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS AND STAYING IN KAILASA, THESE HUMAN BEINGS WILL BE THE LIVING DEMONSTRATION OF POWERFUL SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS. THESE BEINGS WILL BE THE NEW SPECIES, SUPERCONSCIOUS BEINGS. THROUGH THEM I WILL START REVIVING THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION - KAILASA, POST PRALAYA.

*STILL HUMANITY! YOU HAVE TIME. YOU CAN EITHER CHOOSE LIFE, SUPERCONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH OR STICK TO YOUR DELUSIONAL ARROGANCE. IT IS UP TO YOU.

*IF YOU HAVE NEVER PHYSICALLY BECOME KAILAYAVASIS, AT LEAST WHEREVER YOU ARE, CONSCIOUSLY START BUILDING KAILASA ECOSYSTEM. IF YOU WERE WITH KAILASA EARLIER AND BECAUSE YOU COULD EITHER NOT UNDERSTAND OR WITHSTAND THE TRAINING FOR THIS PRALAYA, YOU LEFT, YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. COME BACK AND SAVE YOURSELF. DUE TO DELUSIONAL ARROGANCE, DON’T STICK TO THE STUPID DECISION YOU MADE DUE TO YOUR DELUSION IGNORANCE. COME BACK AND SAVE YOURSELF.

*IF YOU ARE IN KAILASA AND WITHSTOOD THE TRAINING, JUMP, DANCE, WHISTLE, SCREAM, SING, CELEBRATE YOURSELF! YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE FUTURE OF HUMANITY! THE KIND OF STRENGTH YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS HAS BEEN INFUSED WITH, WITH ALL MY TRAINING, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE SPECIMEN OF NEW SPECIES! DON'T HAVE SELF DOUBT. IF YOU JUST WITHSTOOD MY TRAINING, THAT IS ENOUGH. IF YOU ARE LITTLE RELUCTANT TO CELEBRATE, YOU HAVE SELF DOUBT. DON'T HAVE SELF DOUBT.

*I WILL PROVE TO THE WHOLE WORLD: ANYTHING YOU TOUCH WILL FLOURISH WITH AUSPICIOUSNESS BECAUSE YOU WITHSTOOD THE TOUGHEST TRAINING, CONSCIOUS PREPARATION FOR THE PRALAYA!

*ALL THE FELLOWS WHO ARE TRYING TO MAKE HOLES IN THIS CONSCIOUS BOAT I WAS BUILDING, FACE KALABHAIRAVA. I NEITHER CURSE NOR GET INVOLVED WITH THESE ABUSERS. YOU DIRECTLY FACE KALABHAIRAVA. WHATEVER YOU DID TO ME AND SANGHA WILL COME TO YOU. FACE PRALAYA!

*PRALAYA IS REAL. KAILASA IS REAL. KAILASAS ARE GOING TO SAVE MANY PEOPLE FROM PRALAYA, IS REAL. AND POST-PRALAYA WE ARE GOING TO GIVE A SUPERCONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH, IS REAL. WE ARE GOING TO REVIVE THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION, IS REAL. STUPIDS ALWAYS DO FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF ENLIGHTENMENT AND ENLIGHTENED MASTER’S WORDS AND ACTIONS. MEANING OF THE WORD FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION IS “ACTION OR HABIT OF ESTIMATING SOMETHING AS WORTHLESS.” SO DON'T DO THE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF KAILASA.

*DON'T DO THE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF MY WORDS OF LAST TWO YEARS. DON'T DO FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF MY TRAINING OF LAST TWO YEARS THAT I GAVE. DON'T DO THE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF THE POWER OF NIRVIKALPA SAMADHI - ENLIGHTENMENT SCIENCE.

*BEFORE ANYONE UNDERSTOOD THE WORD “QUARANTINE”, I INSISTED AND TRAINED ALL MY KAILAYAVASIS FOR QUARANTINE MORE THAN 5 TIMES IN LAST TWO YEARS IN BIDADI, TIRUVANNAMALAI, GUJARAT, MADURAI. I WANT ALL ADI KAILAYAVASIS IN BIDADI TO COMPILE ALL THE DATES. ALL THE FELLOWS WHO WENT OUT AND ABSUED ME AND ALL OF YOU AND MY TRAINING WITH THEIR STUPID IDEA OF FREEDOM...NOW THEY ARE ALL FREE. GO TO FLORIDA BEACH.

*I WANT ADI KAILAYAVASIS TO COMPILE DATES AND WAYS I HAVE TRAINED ALL OF YOU LAST TWO YEARS. EVERY TRAINING WAS TO PREPARE YOU ALL FOR THIS PRALAYA. AND QUARANTINE IS GOING TO BE FOR NEXT 6 MONTHS ALL OVER THE WORLD. IT WILL BE LIFTED FOR A FEW DAYS HERE AND THERE. BUT IT WILL AGAIN COME BACK.

*WORLD SHOULD KNOW EVERY TRAINING I HAVE GIVEN TO MY KAILAYAVASIS IS DIRECTLY INSTRUCTIONS FROM KALABHAIRAVA AND PARAMASHIVA. I CAN STAND IN FRONT OF PARAMASHIVA AND KALABHAIRAVA NOW, STARING AT HIS EYES STRAIGHT WITH INTEGRITY AND SAY, ‘PRABHU I DID SINCERELY EVERYTHING YOU SAID WITH ALL MY SINCERITY, INTEGRITY, AUTHENTICITY, RESPONSIBILITY AND ENRICHING.”

*LONELINESS MAY KILL US MORE THAN CORONA.

*NOT ABLE TO BE IN QUARANTINE AND GOING OUT AND DYING, IS THE WORST DEATH BECAUSE IN THIS PANDEMIC, EVEN YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES WILL NOT BE THERE TO MOURN TO GIVE YOU A DECENT FAREWELL.

*ALL MY KAILSAVASIS SHOULD KNOW: YOU ALL RECEIVED THE BEST CONSCIOUS AND SUPERCONSCIOUS TRAINING TO GO THROUGH THIS PRALAYA AND REVIVE THE KAILASA POST-PRALAYA AND GIVE A SUPERCONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH TO HUMANITY.

*LET MY KAILAYAVASIS SIT TODAY AND TOMORROW AND COMPILE ALL THE TRAINING I GAVE FOR KAILAYAVASIS LAST TWO YEARS, FOR WHICH SO MANY EX-KAILAYAVASIS WHO ATE MY FOOD, ABUSED ME AND KAILASA.

*ALL BIDADI KAILAYAVASIS AND OTHER KAILAYAVASIS, CELEBRATE! YOU DID THE BEST THING TO YOUR LIFE BY BEING WITH ME, BY SINCERELY FOLLOWING ME! PEN DOWN HOW STEP BY STEP I HELPED YOU TO UNCLUTCH, TO INCULCATE AND CONSCIOUSLY BE ALIVE AND ACTIVE EVEN DURING QUARANTINE! LET US SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD - OUR SUCCESS STORY!

*OPEN THE BOOK OF HEART AND COMPILE AND TELL THE WORLD HOW ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN PROTECTED AND TRAINED DIRECTLY BY PARAMASHIVA AND KALABHAIRAVA TO FACE THIS PRALAYA AND HOW THIS IS HELPING YOU TO FACE THIS PRALAYA AND HOW YOU HAVE A SUPERCONSCIOUS BREAKTHROUGH AND ARE READY TO REVIVE THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION POST-PRALAYA.

*LET US TELL THE WORLD HOW YOU ALL HAVE BEEN PERSONALLY IMMUNIZED BY PARAMASHIVA. HOW I HAVE BEEN ENSURING THERE IS ENOUGH NEEM, SESAME BALLS, HARITAKI, CASTOR OIL, HOW ALL THE BEST THINGS ARE PROVIDED!

*DIET, YOGA, MENTAL EMOTIONAL, CONSCIOUS… IN EVERY LEVEL, NO KAILAYAVASIS IS HAVING EVEN THE IDEA OF PANDEMIC FATIGUE. THEY ARE ALL WORKING, SEEING WHAT NEXT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO REVIVE THE ENLIGHTENED CIVILIZATION OF PARAMASHIVA - KAILASA.

*LET US CELEBRATE!

*I WAS INSISTING ON GRID-FREE LIFE FOR LAST TWO YEARS AND PREPARING EVERYONE TO LEARN TO BECOME SELF-SUSTAINING AND LIVE AN OUT-OF-THE-GRID LIFESTYLE IN EVERY LEVEL.

*ALL THOSE FELLOWS WHO WERE ABUSING ME WITH THE FALSE IDEAS OF FREEDOM AND HUMAN RIGHTS, NOW FACE THE PRALAYA, PANDEMIC!

*ESSENCE OF TODAY’S SATSANG IS: DON’T DO FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF GURU’S TRAINING AND GURU’S WORDS.

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autobiooftheavatar · 4 years

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