#even when i know i didnt do anything wrong i didnt hurt anyone and i made a chocie for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stellardeer · 25 days

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I feel really bad cause my spouse got me an iPad for my birthday a few years ago and I never use it...

He got it for me because I had been lamenting that I wished I had a drawing tablet with a screen instead of the second hand wacom that I use.

But when I unwrapped it I was shocked and surprised and worried immediately. I thought "why did you get me such an expensive gift..." and he said his dad helped pay for it. And then he told me why he got it and I was like oh okay that's nice I guess... but I never wanted an iPad. I wanted a drawing tablet. I was immediately concerned that I wouldn't like it. And I didn't want to sound ungrateful but I expressed that concern cause I was worried it was a mistake to get me such a gift and maybe he could return it... but I ended up keeping it and he got me an apple pencil to go with it and I bought and downloaded procreate to give it a chance.

I hate using procreate. It's a good program but I liked the program I was already using. I like drawing on my computer. Also the process of getting images out of procreate and onto my PC is stupid and cumbersome, and I dont like interfacing with websites from the iPad, I like using my PC. I just wanted a tablet that I could use with my computer that also had a screen. I don't even like Apple products, I never wanted to own one.

If I go on a trip and I want to draw I usually just end up bringing a sketchbook because I like that better than drawing on the iPad.

I gave it a shot for a while but I haven't touched the thing in like 6 months, and I feel bad that he spent so much money on it and I never use it :/

But I also can't complain about it cause it will make him feel bad but like idk, I wish he had just asked me what kind of tablet I wanted or something I mean I didn't even know what I wanted I had no serious plans to upgrade my tablet anytime soon, I still don't even know what I would want if I did. I have a $1000+ piece of fucking technology that I hate and I would rather use the thing that I paid $35 for.

#also honestly i forget sometimes that my monitors are touch screen #ive not even tried just getting a touch pen and using my monitors i dont think...#i cant remember but i think i even had the touchscreen monitors already when he got me the ipad #like idkkk i know i sound ungrateful cause it was expensive but like i immediatly was like why tf did you get me an ipad i dont want this..#but telling him to return it would have hurt his feelings so much...#its a fucking huge one too its like the biggest size they have #why did he do that #why did he think i wanted that #ughh im fucking awful why am i mad at him for getting me something nice what is wrong with me 😑#idk i think on some level it just shows like.. a lack of judgement on his part #like you didnt even consult with me before spending a bunch of money esp when we live together and share expenses #like he had to get his dad to help pay for it he could have spent that money on something way more practical #i dunno man i know i should appreciae anything that anyone wants to give me but..#its always kinda pissed me off when someone gives me something i dont want like it makes me feel like #they dont even know me and dont care what i actually want or like idk idk maybe thats selfish #he was just trying to make my life easier and get me something i had talked about wanting #but with big purchases like that i feel like you cant just fucking pick something you need to know what the person actually wants

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dream-sans-mogai · 1 month

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Im so fucking tired of allistic people man...

They always present like 2 choices for you and go on for days about how they understand either choice, they won't judge you no matter what you pick and how they'll be fine regardless then act all disappointed and whiney when you make that choice and they didn't get the answer they wanted.

I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong choice™️. If you wanted me to do something why didn't you say it. I don't care about all your little social shit, be honest with me. I didn't choose based on your wants when I don't know what you want. I made the "selfish" choice despite everyone around me saying they supported my decision and totally understood. Then I'm the bad guy. For making a choice. That I was assured over and over again that I wasn't going to be judged for.... I'm so tired of this... I'm so tired of allistic people setting these fucking landmines for me. Like they enjoy my suffering. I always get fucking burned in these situations. I can either just do what I think they want with varying response or I can be honest and unmask and do what I think is best for me then they all collectively sigh and look away like Im the disappointment...

If it's not truly safe, don't fucking tell me I'm safe. If I truely won't be judged, don't judge me. If I can't safely unmask, don't tell me to be myself and make my own choices. Even allistic people who had no fucking skin in this game judged me. I chose the option that was best for me and now I'm the villain. Again. Fuck allistic people man, fuck those wishy-washy judgey ass people.

#clover speaks #clover vents #its ok they said just do whats best for you they said #and my dumbass was just like yeah sure 😚 and now im looked at like a monster for taking a choice they gave me #and encouraged me to take! ill support you no matter what my ass #it makes me feel so fucking unsafe in my chocies like a fucking saw trap #its always multiple choice questions and nothinge ever seems like the right choice #they are always wrong and everyone always despises me abit afterwards #even when i know i didnt do anything wrong i didnt hurt anyone and i made a chocie for me #its all supports and i love yous and its oks up until the tism comes back out and i get the cold shoulder #i get the look aways and the silence #they know they are hurting me and they dont care about the betrayal i feel over being basically lied to #i know its your choice but i felt like- ok then why didnt you say anything BEFORE I MADE THE CHOICE #FUCK ALLISTIC PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THEIR QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS GAMES THAT MAKE ME LOOK HORRIBLE FOR NO REASON #IM SORRY I DIDNT READ YOUR EXPRESSION ITS ALMOST LIKE I HAVE A MODERATE MENTAL DISABILITY THAT PREVENTS ME FROM RWADING EXPRESSIONS #i just wanna say or do something right and they always judge me no matter what #im never safe around these people because everything is always watched and judged according to their morals and what they would choose #as if their morals are superior to mine because they are fine with throwing themselves at trains over nothing and im kot #fuck allistic people man #im so stupid for believing them and thinking this time ill be safe...#im never safe i will never be safe #im always so scared of looking like a stone faced unfeeling monster who dosent love anyone or anything and they always make me into it #no matter what i do or how much i try to express it #i feel things i love people im not a robot #this hurts so much...#sorry for the total lack of context but you dont need any #i dont want or need any more allistic judgement

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slippery-minghus · 11 months

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the bad news is i spent about an hour (after already getting home late) wandering around my apartment crying because i couldn't find my computer mouse anywhere. checking every place it could be twice, three times, knowing i don't lose things because of how badly it messes me up, only finally finding it at the cusp of a very bad meltdown in a place that i had already checked once before (and only once bc i knew i hadn't seen it in there the other day). had to take meds and cbd and lay on the floor for a long time and i still don't really feel ok.

but the good news? i won $100 in a raffle through work. so that's neat.

#personal #eating and drinking will probably help a lot right now but they're kinda the last things i want to do #takes too many spoons #and my entire face hurts from crying #therapist brain is asking me what that whole computer mouse search ordeal might have felt like if i wasn't alone #and first answer is i wouldn't have let myself get so worked up bc my Being Upset and Fixated is apparently very bad #always made my mom really upset #so probably not a safe thing to express #around anyone. any. one.#i don't know that i woulda been able to really hold it in tho with how upset i got. though maybe i wouldn't have spiraled so much?#a second pair of eyes wouldve been helpful but i also can't imagine not being made to feel like an idiot about it all #i kept saying to myself that *i don't lose things*. it's *not like me* and i even cited what my shrink has said #about how much i clearly DO care about things and always act with INTENT. and i felt that all about to shatter in the face of the proof #that i wasn't. proof that i WAS careless. proof that saying i'm anything but a thoughtless careless waste #was just another lie i was telling myself (and believing it so thoroughly i didn't even know i was lying)#and then i found the mouse. in a spot that i know made sense at the time #i at least managed not to throw it at the wall and shatter it. i didn't even want to. the mouse didnt do anything wrong #i can't even imagine a possible scenario where having another person with me when that happened would have been a good thing #where i would have been safer (and not just bc i was masking and bottling it all up) and not made to be a monster #other people aren't safe #why would they be? i'm certainly not

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the-acid-pear · 1 year

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Killing my dad with a rock arc

#luly talks #you ever see a man who doesn't understand anything at all #ohh bc my bringing up was bad SO WAS MINE #I'M A SELF MADE PERSON MY MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME MY FATHER WASNT PRESENT BUT FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK #my head hurts so bad #everything is about him he thinks thinking about a person is all there is to caring about someone #hmhmmh mh can't even cry anymore #he had the audacity to bring up me dropping out and then made it about HIM about how HE was involved and how HE had hope and about how HE #HE HE HE THAT'S ALL THERE IS #NEVER IN A MOMENT HE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW *I* FELT THEN TELLS ME TO MY FACE I DROPPED TO PLAY MY VIDEOGAME #AND I KNOW HE SAID THAT BC HE WAS ANGRY BUT WHEN HE WAS INTO A GAME AND PLAYED ALL DAY AND WANTED TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL DID I EVER SAY #SOMETHING NEGATIVE??? NO I FUCKING DIDNT #THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOW ONE WAS RAISED BECAUSE ONE IS AN ADULT WHO'S BEING TOLD WHAT HE'S DOING WRONG AND YET AND YET !!!!#anyway i went for a walk outside and it was sickening the sounds of my shoes on the floor were so high abd loud...#i wanted to walk shoeless but i thought that was a bit too far i already was chewing something with my hand close to my mouth #head low eyes fixated on a singular point #i looked very not normal is what im saying i looked stereotypically not normak #which is good for if anyone wanted to steal from me i look like the kind who would stab you on the throat w a pen #i also wasn't walking i was waddling #bc the aforementioned shoe issye #yeah we are having a day today folks

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youaremysunshine-court · 1 year

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#like lowkey really wanna stop living idk #idk #i know its not me but she makes me feel so unloveable like ill never be loved by anyone like the minute they get to know me theyll leave #like maybe they only like the front i put up and if they knew the real me theyd hate me like she hates me #i wish id never been born i feel so unwanted i literally just wanna die #if i didnt wake up tomorrow i would be so fucking happy #i dont even know anymore if i had more willppwrr maybe id just fucking kill her or myself and be done with this shit #fucking christ #i say something anything and she takes it and twists it until it paints me as a villain i dont know what to do #i literally said oh i feel carsick and she started screaming at me twlling me not to be selfish i fucking #i was about to puke #i had to shut my mouth for the next hour up the mountains while she talked like nothing was wrong #i dont know if im being unfair to her if my pov is painting her in a bad light or what #but it fucking hurts man #it hurts so much and i dont know what to do i just wanna stop living #why does she hate me so much what did i do that made her hate me so much what can i do to make her love me #shes supposed to be the mature one here but im always the one who stops fighting and withdraws so we can have some fucking peace in this ho #house #i crave the hours when shes out of the house because it means i can just exist without feeling guilty for it

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finalhaunts · 2 years

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#.txt #fuck man.#thinking about my ex. agh.#i dont know how i feel about things i guess #ive moved on and im happy he’s happy /gen but also whenever I think about him I just get so upset #I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong. its been over a year and im still just so upset whenever i think about it #because it had been nearly two years since we got together and he just. broke up with me out of the blue.#and I never got an explanation as to why. even when I asked he didn’t tell me #and part of me is thinking ‘’well i should just respect whether he wants to say or not’’ but at the same time don’t I deserve some closure?#he said it wasn’t because of her at least. but part of me can’t help thinking he left me because he was happier with her.#I feel like maybe I was just too much. and thats why he left.#im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable.#i dont want to hurt anyone. that’s the last thing i want. I don’t want to push anyone away.#and im hurt that it didnt work out and i want to know what I did wrong but #at the same time i feel like im. happier. now that im out of that relationship #he wssnt a bad guy and he still isnt /gen. i just. i dont know #looking back on the relationship i don’t feel like i was happy. and once we broke it off we drifted apart quickly #and even if he didnt do anything wrong i feel Very uncomfortable over the thought of us interacting again. even just as mutuals or whatever #I think I’ve honestly just given up on trying to find love. its never worked out for me #ill just stick to the fictional ones. thanks.#also if anyone readjng has any clue who this js please dont mention it #this isnt like. a callout or me trying to smear him or whatever he’s genuinely a great guy #im just. having a lot of mixed emotions. even after so long.#vent

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ravenromanova · 7 months

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Make you mine

Parings: Bucky x Female reader

Warnings: SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Slight metal arm kink, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE

Summary: You try to cut off things with Bucky but he has other plans.

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!

The room was thick with tension and your heart was beating in your ears. You knew the arrangement you knew it was just sex so why did it hurt everytime he left? It hurt because you loved him even though you know you shouldn’t.

“I’ll see you after my mission Doll” He says quickly pulling up his pants along with throwing his shirt back on. Your eyes are stuck on him as he gathers his stuff from your room. He walks over and kisses your head before leaving…that’s new you thought to yourself.

“Yea” Was all you managed to say as you watched him leave your room. With a heavy sigh you lay back against your pillows and try not to cry. You felt so stupid, so weak, so pathetic for falling for him. You knew you needed to put a stop to this and you were going to do so when he came back.

Hours went by and you showered before making your way to the kitchen. When you walked in you were greeted with Natasha and Sam sitting at the island sipping their coffee.

“Hey sunshine” Natasha smiled at you while Sam smiled and greeted you as well.

“Morning guys” You said faking a happy tone and smile. Luckily for you they didn’t notice anything off with you and if they didnt say anything. So you just went about making your coffee and went to go sit outside by the lake out back.

The sun felt nice on your skin but not too much to overheat you due to the cool wind blowing by. A smile settles on your face as you watch the ducks by the lake and enjoy the caramel flavored coffee. While you sat there you got lost in your thoughts and started thinking about him. You couldn’t feel anything other than sadness was over your as you thought of him.

After about fifteen minutes of thinking you decided that you really needed to cut whatever this was off when he got back tomorrow from his mission. You couldn’t keep pretending you weren’t in love with him anymore. Once you figured out what you were going to say to him you decided to head back inside.

You walked back inside and went straight to your room without talking to anyone not wanting to be social at the moment. And when you walked into your room your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. There were rose petals on the bed, candles littered your shelves and desk. And the last thing you noticed was Bucky standing at the end of your bed.

“Bucky what is this? I thought you were on a mission?” You asked and he just smiled and walked closer.

“I was” He said taking your hands in his. “And now i’m just finishing it” You shot him a confused look clearly not getting what he was saying. “My mission is to make you mine” His voice was genuine as he spoke.

“B-But you said you didn’t want a relationship” Confusion and anxiety were laced in your voice. Bucky took his fingers and tilted your head back so you looked at him.

“I was wrong… I do want a relationship…One with you” His words got you like a truck and you’re eyes up with tears.

“I-I” The words come or broken and stuttered as you speak. Bucky takes this as his chance to show you how much he loves you. He takes your face in his hands and brings you into a deep and passionate kiss. Instinctively you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He uses this as an opportunity and grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up. Your legs wrap around his waist as he pins you against the wall.

The kiss is the most passionate kiss the two of you have ever shared. It was messy, heated and filled the air with extreme tension. You started to grind yourself against his crotch once you felt the bulge in his pants.

“Fuck doll you keep doing that i won’t be able to control myself” He grunted in your ear.

“Maybe i want you to lose control” You whisper against his lips and his eyes darken at your words.

“Fuck it” Bucky said and before you knew it you were thrown into your bed. He wasted no time in settling on top of you. His strong hands moved their way to your body before he ripped off your shirt. You gasped when his metal hand gripped your clothed chest. Bucky reached behind your back and unclamped your bra and rolled at your bare chest.

“So fucking pretty” He praised kissing your chest making you blush. Even though he’s probably fucked to over a hundred times by now you never ceased to amaze him. He took his time and worshipped each of your breasts leaving marks in his path before moving down.

“Please” You whined as you felt his hands travel down to the hem of your shorts. His metal hand slipped under both your shorts and underwear making you jump slightly.

“So wet bunny” He chided with a smile when he felt your slick cover his fingers. His flesh hand ripped off your shorts and underwear leaving you completely bare under him.

“Please Jamie please fuck me” You beg gripping onto his broad shoulders. Bucky smiled down and gave you a quick kiss before riding himself off his clothes. You couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of you, he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His toned chest and abs, The most crystal blue eyes, Long dark hair that you adored he was truly a work of art.

His hand roommate your body and gripped your hips as he admired the beautiful woman in front of him. “If we do this…it’s not like the other times understand me? You’re mine babygirl” He said with a softer tone than he’s been using.

“I’m yours Jamie” Those words leaving your mouth unlocked something primal in him and he wasted no time in pushing into you. Your hands flew to his shoulders when you felt his thick cock stretch you out. It had only been a day since you two last fucked but it always feels like wells with how big he is.

“So fucking tight baby” He grunted as he bottomed out hitting your g-spot. Your head flew back from the immense pleasure you felt. Bucky thrusted into you hard and with passion making your orgasm approach faster than anticipated.

“Fuck yes right there baby” You moaned feeling the tip of his cock hit that special spot over and over. Bucky’s grasp on your hips became tighter as his orgasm approached as well. The room was filled with the noises of skin slapping and the wet sounds of your soaked pussy. And the air was thick with the smell of sex and Bucky’s cologne.

“Gonna fill you up bunny. Gonna fucking breed this tight pussy” He groaned as his thrusts began to falter. Your orgasm ripped through your abs your back arched as you came with a scream. Bucky’s orgasm came right after yours and he made good on his word and filled you up.

“Oh fuck Jamie” You moaned when he fucked his seed into you making sure none would leak out.

“Gonna make you a mommy” He said before he pulled out of you with a soft groan. The both of you were panting messes as you laid on your bed. After he caught his breath he pulled you on top on him and gave you a kiss.

“I love you y/n. I’m sorry i pushed you away. I’m sorry i made you feel like i didn’t want to. I love you more than anything and i swear to you is you’re mine i’ll make it up to you everyday of my life” He said genuinely as his thumb rubbed your cheek.

Hearing those words from him made your heart swell and your eyes water. “I love you too Bucky” You said tearfully bringing him into a deep yet soft kiss. Everything you’ve ever wanted is fully coming true and you couldn’t be happier.

That night the two of you proved your love for each other in every way possible. He told you throughout the whole night just how much he loved you. And you told him just how much he meant to you before you two fell into a blissful sleep.

~The end ~

#ravenromanova #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x female reader smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #winter solider smut #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter solider

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invidiia · 10 months

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⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "you're obsessed.." 𖤐 various bsd yanderes // reader.

bsd yanderes ada, pm, doa, hd + the jealousy scale.

[ a/n; hi i was bored and gotta feed the people bc my next big post is takin a bit 🏃‍♂️]

[ warning; jealous yanderes lolol ]

atsushi is a 6 of 10. definitely hides any jealous thoughts, at least until you're both home, but is absolutely bitter about it after

dazai is a fair 7 of 10. i don't have a lot to say about him, but he most definitely gets jealous easily

kunikida is a 5 of 10. when he's with you and you get hit spoken to by someone else, he just takes control of the situation and leaves with you. obviously against your choices, but he doesn't trust you.

ranpo is a 6 of 10. doesn't get too worried about other guys because he knows you wouldn't go for anyone else other than the greatest detective ever, but when another guy flirts with you, he just feels the need to.. step in.

yosano is a 7 of 10. she doesn't mind when others speak to you, as long as they aren't flirting with you, and that's a loose term with her. asking for directions in a large mall could get someone's fingers chopped off if she was in a particularly annoyed mood.

fukuzawa is a 4 of 10. he doesn't care if people talk to you either, but flirting is off the table with him. even so, he'll just leave the area and take you with him, he can't just let some other guy talk to you, are you crazy?

akutagawa is a 8 of 10. if someone's making small talk or something he doesn't care, but even speaking to you or looking at you for too long is just like asking for him to beat them senselessly.

chuuya is a 8 of 10. like akutagawa, small talk doesn't matter to him. you're socializing, who cares? but he's absolutely jealous of your friends, especially your close ones. strangers, he can beat the shit out of those, but your friends? he can't do anything there, so he just sits in silence.

higuchi is an 9 of 10. she hates when anyone else talks to you, she just can't stand it. she'll openly tell you how much she hates it when other people beside her 'flirt' with you, and makes you promise not to hurt her like that again.

gin is a 3 of 10. she does get jealous of other people like your closer friends, but doesn't act on anything, just sits in silence. maybe she'll express to you she was jealous, but she won't hurt anyone unless they make advances on you

tachihara is a 6 of 10. he does get jealous of your friends, but doesn't hate them. he just wants to be in their place. who says you should spend all your time with them? leave some room for him, won't you?

sigma is a 7 of 10. he won't make direct moves if he's jealous, he'll only tell you he's jealous afterward, or work behind scenes to get rid of the certain person he thinks talks to you a little too much for his liking.

fyodor is a 9 of 10. he doesn't think you'll talk to anyone else, it's about others talking to you. he just can't have you talking to anyone but him. why would you need to anyway?

nikolai is a 8 of 10. i don't have a whole lot to say about him either, but he's not afraid to be... himself,, if someone talks to you a little too much.

jouno is a 9 of 10. he knows you won't actually speak to other guys.. but still. he isn't chill when other guys talk to you, and gets worse when they eye you the wrong way,

tecchou is a 4 of 10. this man sees no reason to be jealous of your friends, or anyone who says they don't want you. why would they lie to him anyway? look at him, he's strong as hell. would you lie to him? didn't think so

[ a/n; sobs im so tired can you telllll ?? i only wrote doa trio bc.. fukuchi is strange, bram is just.. bram, plus i kinda only see him as platonic yandere loll, didnt do teruko cuz idk her actual age.. sorry this is so rushed lol its 2am i gotta go to beddd, but next post is dazai fr!!!!! ]

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cyberkitty1 · 1 year

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pt 2/2 of the crybaby reader x earth42 Miles Morales

MAJOR MAJOR spoilers!! read with caution.

i said tomorrow night but I worked my butt off to get it done today!!

Aaron makes his way to Miles and room not even bothering to knock, I mean why would he? He just watched his nephew make his own girlfriend who would do anything for him cry. He was beyond furious.

“So now we are just going around making people cry?” Miles smirks at him “man I am literally the prowler? all i make people do is cry and beg for their life” he says almost laughing.

Aaron sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.” you are not supposed to let your job interfere with your normal life, you know that. Now you’re chasing your girl, the girl your supposed to love away? are you serious?”

Miles looks at him annoyed “ why wouls you care all she ever does is cry, shes happy she cries, shes mad she cries, shes sad she cries, man even when shes bored she cries. its annoying” he says holding his face in his hands.

Aaron walks to the bed and sits next to him. He’s never been put in this situation so he doesn’t know what to say. “ you’re dad was a lot better doing this than i ever was.” Miles visibly stiffens, this was the first time he’s brought up his dad since his funeral.

“ Miles I know you have been through a lot, more then i ever will but that doesn’t give you a reason to act that way towards her, she only wants whats best for you and she loves you with everything shes got. I would kill for a person like that to be in my life. I know you reacted like this because you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to but i’m always here man you know this.”

He wrapped an arm around his shoulder.” So don’t be taken your anger out on your girl she just loves you ok?” Miles sighs realizing, he was way to harsh in you you shouldn’t have been ignoring you and now he feels like a fool.

“ Yea, ill talk to her tomorrow” Aaron smiles, “ good I don’t need the only person who can get you to open up gone, now do i?” he says laughing a bit.

* Next Morning *

You didnt get a wink of sleep that night you where thinking about all the things you could have done to upset him that much. You werent mad just confused, confused as to why he would react that way. Of course you will still love him but this still hurt.

You were lost in thought when you realize someone texted you, it was Miles? You wasted no time to open it.

miles. can you come over later today?

you. yea

miles. dress comfortable

you were nervous, was he breaking up with you? You had no idea what to expect with how you guys left everything yesterday there was many directions this could go.

Hours later ( im lazy )

You got ready and made your way over to his place. Knocking on the door he answered “hola cariño ven conmigo” he helped you in with a warm smile taking your hand. Shutting the door behind you he led you into his bedroom sitting you down on his bed. He stood looking at you kind of nervous? he started:

“Voy a decir esto en español para que todo salga bien. Te amo mucho y siento mucho haberte tratado de una manera que nunca te mereces. Lamento haberte hecho llorar y haberte hecho sentir que hiciste algo mal. Todo lo que haces es amarme y tratarme bien, pero yo te traté como si no me importara. Y por eso lo siento mucho y espero que lo encuentres en tu corazón para perdonarme.”

(I'm going to say this in Spanish so that everything goes well. I love you very much and I am so sorry that I treated you in a way that you never deserve. I'm sorry I made you cry and made you feel like you did something wrong. All you do is love me and treat me right, but I treated you like I didn't care. And for that I am very sorry and I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me.)

You waited and listened to him through and through and when he was done you spoke. “ Miles I will forever love you, you know that. I know that you are going through something but why didn’t you tell me? why don’t you talk to me? why wont you let me in?” you said holding his hands.

“No quería que pensaras menos en mí, que me consideraras débil.” You look at him sympathetically “ Miles I would never, never ever think of you as weak ok? Whenever you need me I will be there with you, I love you miles so much.” and with that, you were crying.

(“I didn't want you to think less of me, to consider me weak.”)

“mi princesa por favor no llores odio cuando lloras” he said wiping your tears away “ I know and i’m sorry that i’m always crying about everything i know it annoys you” you say sniffling. He feeling you pulling at his heart strings, feeling the worse he has felt since his father’s passing.

("My princess please don't cry I hate when you cry"’)

“ahora me tienes a punto de llorar mami, te quiero mucho y me arrepiento de haberte dicho que te encontré una llorona. Nunca debí haberte dicho eso, eres mi todo, ¿lo sabías? Debería disculparme contigo, lamento haberte tratado de esa manera, ¿me perdonarías?” He said with tears in his eyes.

(“Now you have me about to cry mommy, I love you very much and I regret having told you that I found you a crybaby. I never should have told you that, you are my everything, you know that? I should apologize to you, I'm sorry I treated you that way, would you forgive me?")

You held his face looking into his eyes with so much adoration. “ Miles I will forever love you, I forgive you, I will forgive you ten times over.” You said resting your head on his. After a few minutes he wipes his tears saying “ I forgot I wanted you to watch a movie with me if you forgave me.” You smile at him giving him a kiss.

“ Thank you Miles,i appreciate it all.” he sighs “ Ma, stop saying stuff like that I need to be saying sorry to you” he says looking you in your eyes.

And with that he sits on his bed back against the headboard with you tucked into his side, eating snacks and watching your favorite movies.

( this or this )

He suddenly turns to you and says “te amo mas que la cantidad de estrellas en el cielo” he says looking into your eyes. You turn to him resting your hand ok his face, hearing your voice that sounds like honey.

("I love you more than the number of stars in the sky")

“yo tambien te amo mi principe”

( "I love you too my prince")

Part 3 of the earth 42 Miles spoiling you will be done as soon as I can 🙏🏾

A/n: overlook the fact that i spelt honey as hunny 😔 ( its changed now)

#earth 42 miles #earth 42 miles morales x reader #fluff #atsv x reader #earth 42 #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales #miles morales x reader #i hope you like it #i really tried #comfort #angst #fluffy

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solarsmash · 7 days

Text

For you will stay a while longer

Mechanic!reader and Boothill

NO SMUT, comfort, self harm, more so an outlet to let out my own things, fluff to angst(?) at the end, father/daughter relationship, Boothill sees you as a second daughter, implied parental abuse, not proofread

Song —*⁠.⁠✧ 'please help me' by d2s1

It was a tough night—to say the least..

Relapse was common and afterwards you never really thought about it.. doesn't mean it wasn't there and that the sting didn't annoy you.. but your biggest concern was an appointment with the galaxy ranger Boothill, you were supposed to do some basic check ups and possibly just chat as good friends so now you had to hide any sliver of pain because trust, he will notice.

It was kinda stupid to think you could pull off hiding anything from him, almost as soon as you rubbed your arm a little too much, or refused to look him in the eyes he knew something was up. "Sugar, mind telling me what's wrong?" He glances at you while you are looking through some tools.

"..its nothing. I just didnt get much sleep last night-"

"Now don't lie to me, you know i hate it when you keep things from me.." he wasn't mad, more concerned than anything. Boothill knew to be patient with you, you had been through a lot, just like him, and you had odd ways of showing or hiding it.

You glance at him, wanting to just let it all out but that wasn't how you were raised.. you were never the type to let everything out even if someone offered a shoulder.. it wasn't seen as venting or a healthy outlet when you grew up, crying and talking about your issues was seen as attention seeking—playing the victim, if you will.

Boothill could see your hesitation and walked over, " I won't push you, but i want you to know I'm here for yah'." He wrapped an arm around you but when his hand held your upper arm and you flinched in what seemed like pain. It's almost as if he knew immediately, don't ask him how.. maybe it was parental instincts kicking in, a part of him saw you as the child he never got to see grow up, so his protective instinct sprung up a red flag and he turned you around so you would look at him.

"lift up your sleeve for me."

"p-pardon—?" You tried acting confused but the Galaxy Ranger was sharp and he already knew, he just hoped you would trust him enough to tell him and lay your burdens on him..

"Don't play dumb, Sugar.." He grabbed your wrist surprisingly lightly and it took everything in you to not flinch and swat him away.. to say you were scared was an understatement, after all the last time anyone other than Boothill had seen your own self inflicted wounds was your parents.. and it didn't end well.

"Can i?" Boothill asked with a softness only heard with you and close friends. He lifted your sleeve and saw the badly taken care of gashes on your arm from whatever you used along with the other scars he was already aware of, "oh baby... C'mere.." He gave you a hug, being mindful of your arm.

Whenever Boothill hugged you or made you feel safe, it never felt out of pity or like he was doing it cause he felt he HAD to.. he made you feel safe without any strings attached, something THEY never did.. something it seemed THEY avoided...

He finished wrapping your arm as you stared off into nothing.. "m'sorry..."

"Don't apologize, Baby.." He said as his gaze softened. He sat next to you and put his arm around your shoulder once again, this time his metal hand rested on your head, rubbing his thumb in circles, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

You just shook your head, tears filling your eyes for 'no reason'.. the amount of emotions building up just had to come out, after all you cant keep filling a bottle and acting like it wont overflow.

He laid his chin on your head and snuggled you closely, "its alright, m'here for yah, you can cry as much as you want."

...

And just like that tears overflowed, pouring down your cheeks as you leaned into him.. it's as if the pain from hurting yourself only just hit, he made you feel human, as dumb as it sounded.. He understood you like no other in the galaxy..

"It's alright kiddo, i gotcha'... I'm here..." He murmured as you sobbed into his chest.. the feeling of being comforted was foreign to you, unknown and now that you felt it with him it's like you never wanted it to end.. "Why aren't you mad...!?" You stammered through sniffles, barely able to say a sentence without stuttering..

"Why would i ever be mad at you for something like this..?" He gazed down, he already had a feeling something was wrong with your childhood, not in a rude way but.. the vibe you gave off just doesn't come from people who had fulfilled childhoods.. Boothill just never knew the full extent of what happened to you but he wouldn't pry.

"They always got mad— i- i thought— that if you found out- that you wouldn't care- or- or you would hit me—" When you were younger it was normal, it wasnt 'child abuse'(it was), you were just a problem child- thats why... Right?

if Boothill could cry he would be, he cant understand how people can beat their kids or treat them in such ways, he lost his only daughter and feels hatred for those who take their kids for granted. "No- no.... Sugar i would never hit you.. Whatever they told you was stupid.. it was a fudgin' lie.. You shouldn't have to feel like a burden for feeling hurt.. you deserve to be heard as much as everybody else.." He held you closer, tighter, but made sure not to hurt you.

"I didnt back then though— n-not now either—" Boothill cut you off.

"I don't want you sayin' things like that.. no matter what you did to think you didn't deserve to be comforted, it doesn't justify leaving you to help yourself.. you are worth so much, kid.. so fudgin' much.." he spoke softly, cracks in his voice like he would cry.. even if he couldnt.

After awhile you had fallen asleep, it was alright, the check up could wait.

The sounds of your soft snoozing was better than your tears, he hated seeing you cry and he would do anything to make you feel better and hurt anyone if someone was the cause.

He smiled as he glanced down at you, he wondered if his own daughter would have liked you.. though she was extremely young, he couldn't help but imagine if maybe, just maybe, the three if you could be happy together in a different universe.

#my actual parents tried to get back into contact with me #🫡#honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr #boothill hsr #hsr boothill #boothill #boothill honkai star rail #honkai star rail boothill #comfort #vent #angst

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plutonianeris · 1 year

Text

‧₊˚ pick a pile‧₊˚✩embracing your alter ego⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

PILE ONE 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: aries, leadership, willpower, ANGER, turning points, epiphanies, destiny, fate, pallas, creativity, wisdom, venus, pleasure, love, art, money, 4th house, foundations, traditions, home, family, roots. 🔐 **note: i got a lot of libra/aries energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in aries and libra. or if you have any aries/ libra placements do some more research on them 👀

your alter ego is someone that refuses to go down a dead end. if they get the slightest hint that someone isnt respecting their boundaries or treating them/ providing them with less than what they deserve they LEAVE. in order to embrace your alter ego you have to accept that you are in a state of metamorphosis 🦋 and push through to that next stage. rip that bandaid off and stop sitting there “crying over spilled milk” & your alter ego isnt having none of that. theyre the type to not let anyone seem them cry or sad (espeically the people that hurt them) and theyll if anything, dress up and fix their hair and strut like nothing happened. “I will always win in the end”

the person you are now isnt the same as who you were a couple months or even a year ago. you could have been a BIG people pleaser or scared of disappointing the people you love. the difference is now you are more sure of what you want and now your boundaries have become less shaky.

once you realize how fucking good it feels to love yourself your alter ego will bloom and you will take more risks and do all those things u were to afraid to do before. your alter ego reminds me of beyonces “sasha fierce” alter ego lol bc you will snap into it soon and it will help u get over that “stage fright”

i just heard“if you needed more time why didnt you make it?” your alter ego is someone who is bold, a risk taker, the first person to ask that question (and then break that rule), to wear the strange outfit. the first one to lean in for the kiss. your alter ego is an innovator, creative to no end (don’t worry if you aren’t inspired right now, you are the inspiration thats why you cant find it). its you. you are the muse, the canvas and the artist. your alter ego has harmonious relationships because they are very attractive, balanced, fair, fiery.

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE TWO 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: compassion, dreams, confrontotation, disharmony, pleasure, love, trauma, wounds, health, routine, pets. note: i got a lot of pisces, scorpio/ pluto/ 10th house, and virgo energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

in order to embrace your alter ego you need to stop victimizing yourself, similar to pile one there is need to use past trauams as an excuse for staying the same in unhelful behaviors and self sabotaging habbits. you’re letting life happen to you and shrugging your shoulders saying “it what it is” or “I cant change the past” get UP! when you walk, walk with your head held up high. I heard “don’t let people step on you not even once or they’ll keep their foot there pressing against your neck, suffocating..” don’t be afraid to show teeth, whether its a smile or a snarl.

people have wronged you deeply, maybe in irreperable ways. thats okay if youre not the same person. i promise they didnt take anything from you. you are whole and complete on your own. what people are DEEPLY scared of is you realizing your power. I heard “what? did you think I was going to stay small and insecure forever?” people in your close relationships want you to be down bad when they are (misery loves company). in order to embrace your alter ego you need to take the wheel and take control.

your alter ego embodies boss ass energy. your alter ego is mysterious, intuitive, passionate, magnetic energy. the ultimate femme fatale. your alter ego doesn’t let any sly or snarky comment slide, doesn’t allow fake ass people in their circle (theres a vetting process to getting close to them), is deeply loyal and ambitious. your alter ego enters peoples lives and leaves them in awe and jealous and in love and also turned on lol. This is POWERFUL (and slighlty dangerous) energy but if you know how to balance well your alter ego can easily climb the ranks in whatever endeavor its interested in. your alter ego loves to be in control. they’re the ones who dress in all black or sexy clothing. they love to work out as well. they secretly love the pain and soreness later. 🔥

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE THREE 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: conflict, tension, your calling, discomfort, challenge, destiny, appearance, physical body, character, first house, ninth house, long distance travel, morals, teachers, beliefs. note: i got a lot of pisces, sagittarius/ jupiter, gemini/ mercury energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

in order to embrace your alter ego you need to really work on your forms of communication (this pile gives off blocked throat chakra energy or some kind of harsh influence in your surrounding area that makes you feel like you to watch how you speak to the point where you dont speak up at all). you could have saturn in third house, squares/ oppositions to your mercury, or Capricorn or aquarius in your third house. the point is though, it has felt like when youre in groups theres so much conflict that youve spent so much time alone, that you believe you have to stay alone forever now.

youll find the people that will become like family to you but they will be of other backgrounds, religions, status, ethnicities or even in different states (possiblly entirely different countries). it makes sense considering your alter ego is philosophical, adventurous, flirty, fiesty, and very very very beautiful with a big smile and nice hips. a sight to behold to the eyes of the public. i heard “they talk shit about me to make themselves feel better” your alter ego is a heart breaker, people fall fast for there intoxicating personality and their big dreams. but in the blink of an eye theyre off to the next person or dream or adventure. i heard “ill mourn my losses on the way but im not gonna stop”

hey if you been thinking about booking that flight then maybe do it. or if you’re thinking about or make that vision board or buying those books on that occult topic you’ve bern interested in. your alter ego is determined, they wanna see the world and drink up all its beauty, delicacies, sights, rainbows, books, temples, slow and then fast kisses in the middle of sweaty and neon night clubs. they wanna feel it all. i just heard “im going to free my mind. just wanna remember all the good things” 💗

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

PILE FOUR 彡

🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: responsibilities, routines, self-worth, savings, sticking to your budget, investing, new moon energy (making wishes), shadow side, marriage, secret enemies, love, health, false notions of purity. note: i got a lot of pisces, libra/venus/ 7th house, virgo/ 6th house energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀

pile four, I see you giving and giving and giving to others. whether it’s letting people borrow money or listening to them endlessly vent or being there for people that necessarily aren’t always there for you. I see you putting other people first and not necessarily the people please in the way pile one does. Because pile one does it but secretly doesn’t wanna do it. But you do it and think you have to do it and feel like it’s your responsibility to make sure that other people are okay. i just heard “im your hero, you see me as your angel” is there someone deeply depending on you right now? im sorry but they’re not your child. nurture yourself and your inner world. give yourself more credit now..

oopp, the song i was playing just said “i could use a vacation but i gotta take care of my family,… im so damn tired from working overtime” PLEASE😭 this pile is so sweet/ wholesoom🥺🥺🥺🥺 its really calling on you to be selfish. and unapologetically so. you don’t have to share everything. your feelings, your hobbies, your resources or time or money. your alter ego slams the door shut IN THE FACE OF ENERGY VAMPIRES.

your alter ego reminds me of a mermaid or something. just very MYSTICAL and elegant energy. your alter ego is well loved and seen as very wise but they stand tall like a queen/ king. people want to worship your alter ego. i heard “you have beautiful eyes” a lot of people cherish their advice and could do well in doing spiritual readings as well. your alter ego is kind but not nice. they see right through superficial bullshit. They dont care if they have to force you to behave, you will not take from them without asking. I just heard “I respect your opinion, but please don’t force it on me. accept we see things differently.”

𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪

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breeloveschris · 4 months

Text

You’ll Never Understand Pt 7

Pt 6 Pt 8

Pairing: Chris sturniolo x Reader

summary: Y/n always been best friends with the triplets.. until one random day in sophomore year Chris despised Y/n, and till this day Y/n still don’t know why. Nick and Matt will never understand why Y/n has never stopped being sweet and caring to Chris as if nothing ever happened.

Warnings: cussing

*Chris’s pov*

I don’t understand why she’s so mad. Why couldn’t she just tell me what I did wrong rather than beating around the bush. As I make my way to the elevator, I go to order an Uber but the wait time is an hour long. Should I call Matt? Or should I just stand around looking goofy for an hour? While I’m debating on what to do, my phone starts ringing. I pull my phone out seeing Matt’s name on my screen. I sigh as I answer the phone, I guess I’m calling Matt.

“Yo where are you? You didn’t tell anyone that you was leaving.” Matt said questioning. I sigh before answering “I’m at Y/n’s apartment.” Matt goes quiet. “Why the fuck are at Y/n’s place?” Matt said shocked. “Don’t ask questions, just come get me the Uber wait is so long.” Matt sighs before saying a quick “I’m on my way” hanging up. I sit on the curb waiting for Matt to get here. Almost 10 minutes go by before I see our car roll up. I get up and walk over to the car.

As soon as I get in the car Matt’s asking me questions. “Why were you here” Matt asks pulling out of the parking lot. “I needed to talk to Y/n about something, no big deal” I said with a sigh turning on my seat heater. “Did you tell her you like her” he said keeping his eyes on the road. Yes Matt knew, I tell him everything. The only reason why I didn’t tell Nick was because he’s so close with Y/n, he’d probably tell her.

“No Matt, it wasn’t like that.” I said rolling my eyes and looking out the window. “She yelled at me, I’ve never seen her so mad at me.” I continue but before he can say anything I keep going. “I don’t even know what I did dude and it’s killing me” I finished with a sigh rubbing my hands on my face. Matt’s silence scares me, was he mad at me too? “Do you not remember calling her a slut? Like cmon dude you can’t be that fucking stupid” Matt said gripping the stirring wheel.

Holy shit. I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings, I thought she knew I wasn’t being serious. She can’t be that mad about it, I mean I’ve never said anything that mean but still. “I didnt mean for that to hurt her feelings” I said looking at Matt who had his jaw clenched. “So you are that fucking stupid huh. She was crying Chris! Her eyes were puffy, you moron .” He said with an eye roll. “I don’t know why you’re getting so fucking mad about it, do you like her or something.” I said getting pissed that everyone around me was also mad.

“Did your little princess get hurt matty?” I said with a pout before rolling my eyes. “I don’t like her like that and you know it. You on the other hand do, and you’re throwing all your chances with her away and for what? Because your too pussy shit to open up? Let it go Chris, you can’t hide from that shit forever.” Matt said in annoyance. I only roll my eyes turning up the music to tune him out. But Matt quickly turned the music off. “No Chris, you’re not just gonna shut me out. You’ve gotta tell her or simply move on.” Matt finished and turned up the music.

We make it back to the house. I make a beeline inside leaving Matt behind. I open the fridge looking for a cold Pepsi, when I heard Nick walking down the stairs. I lightly groan seeing no Pepsis left. This night couldn’t get worse. “Where have you been dude, we needed to film a car video but now we gotta use an old filmed video.” Nick said complaining. Before I could even get something out Matt speaks. “He was at Y/n’s” Nick just looks between me and Matt confused.

“The fuck were you doing at Y/n’s apartment?” Nick said with disgust written all over his face. “And what the fuck is that on your neck” Nick finished. Holy shit. The hickeys. Fuck. “I thought you said nothing happened” Matt said with a smirk on his face while he crossed his arms. Nick gasps and looks at me with a shock look on his face. “Wipe that smirk off your face Matt, nothing happened. It’s from a different girl that I’ve been seeing” I said making up a quick lie.

“Oh good, you scared me.” Nick said with a hand over his chest and a laugh. “Oh by the way Madi’s here and she drank the last Pepsi” Nick said running back up the stairs. “Bruh this night is the worst” I said groaning and walking down to my room but before I could make it far Matt speaks up. “Did Y/n give you those”. Should I tell him? Before I can even make up my mind, my mouth speaks before my head. “Did you not hear me? It was from someone else.” I said annoyed.

“Yea okay, like I believe you” Matt said smirking and walking to his room. “Wipe that smirk off your face!!” I said walking to my room. I should probably text Y/n. Or maybe I shouldn’t and just leave it as it is. I take a shower debating my thoughts and I walk out of my bathroom in a pair of sweats walking over to my chair. I’m gonna text her.

Chris 😓

I’m sorry Y/n.

I leave it at that and hop on a game of Fortnite but every game I kept losing. I couldn’t focus at all. My mind kept going back to the way Y/n looked at me with so much pain in her face. I FaceTimed Matt and Justin told them to hop on to see if that would help. I did for an hour or so but after that my mind kept running. “Dude what the fuck is up with you, you ain’t playing right” Justin said in my headset. “Bros probably thinking about Y/n” Matt said with a laugh.

“Bro no I’m not, I’m just tired” I replied back. “How is she anyways, I haven’t talked to her in so long” Justin asked. “I wouldn’t ask him that, he’s still a dick to her” Matt replied. “When the fuck are you gonna man up and realize being a dick to her isn’t gonna make shit easier for you” Justin said. I could practically hear his eyes rolling. “It’s made it pretty damn easy for me” i said with a shrug. “Well Matt, how is she doing?” Justin said ignoring me. “She’s doing good, she gets to meet Sam and Colby tomorrow” Matt said.

“It’s about time, that girls been crushing on Colby since 2019 I swear” Justin said laughing. “It’s not like they’re gonna fall in love” i said with a nasty look on my face. “Oou someone’s jealous” Matt said with an obvious smirk on his face. “Dude shut up, I’m just saying, she’s like years younger than the dude” I said with a scoff. “Who knows, maybe she will sweep off him off his feet” Justin said laughing. “Okay dude, whatever. I’m getting off, I’m tired and we got a party tomorrow” I said before saying bye and hanging up.

I laid in bed for like an hour just thinking about Y/n. I don’t want her to be mad at me. I still feel like I didn’t do nothing wrong. I mean I get that it was rude but she should just get over it. It’s not that big of a deal. I just hope tomorrow she won’t be mad at me. Or at least hopefully she’ll be nice to me. She’s never held a grudge on me, so she’ll probably be over it by tomorrow. I continued to lay there for another hour before I slowly fell asleep.

Yikes 😋

Taglist: @lacysturniolo @mattsaq @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosreads @creamoncreamoncream2 @robins-scoop @blahbel668 @carolsturns1 @sturniolopepsi @luverboychris @hearts4chris @freshloveforthefit @stuniolobbg @novasturniolo03 @alexb5598 @sturnioloa @nicksmainbitch @icedchailatee @bunbunbl0gs @b2cute @iloveneilperry @tubl-mc

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #sturniolo #nate doe #nathan doe #chris sturniolo series #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #mean chris

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lockleysfav · 1 year

Text

Haze

Miguel o’hara x afab!reader

summary: Miguel makes you choose a side. Miles or him. The ache in your heart tells you to help the boy instead of the man you have known for years, so you make the decision but Miguel can’t just let you go.

warnings: TW, nsfw, non con, Miguel can’t control his anger, jealousy, name calling, biting, Miguel is literally delulu, kidnapping?, breeding kink, yandere-ish

This all started because you had tackled Miguel off of Miles and had let him escape again. Miguel never told you why he was chasing him, so you told him you wouldn’t help until he told you what the fuck was going on. It wasn’t fair you were running around like a confused puppy not knowing what you’re doing is right or wrong.

Miguel’s eyes had burned red when you let miles go again, he dragged you back to his base and shoved you onto his couch.

“why..why would you do that y/n!!” he paced in front of you angrily, he couldn’t look at you because he knew if he did he would see those eyes he loves so much, he couldn’t go soft now. You needed to make up your mind.

“I don’t know what’s going on Miguel! Maybe if you told me i-” you were cut off by his hand wrapping around the back of your hair and tugging it back, his face merely inches from yours.

“You shouldn’t have to know, you should take my side regardless. i only do what’s right”

You were tearing up from the sting of having your hair pulled on, miguel notice and you could feel his grip loosen just a little, enough to ease the sting.

There was a pause between you both. Truth be told you didn’t know what to say. From your perspective, without knowing what’s going on Miguel simply looks like a bully. You were getting so sick and tired of lies, people hiding things from you, all you have done is be there for Miguel and yes he’s done the same for you so what’s so hard to just let you know what miles has done?

“awfully quiet cupcake” he whispers softly and you look up at him, you looked terrified of him and he winced just for a second. “w-why wont you make me understand?” you were shaking now, and miguel only squeezed his eyes shut before letting go of you. “you wanna understand?” he seethes as he towers over you “you can understand from me, or you can skip your way to miles and maybe he can tell you why”.

Your heart was pounding so hard it was starting to hurt. Miguel was angry, but deep down he wasnt angry at you he was angry with himself. It was almost as if everytime he shouted at you, he would watch you cower from him and it felt like someone had dropped an anvil on his chest. He loved you, he would do absolutely anything for you but his ra-

“Miles” you whispered, looking down at the floor.

Miguels guilt, his regret had vanished just like that. He blinked and stepped forward “What?”

You backed away and looked at his chest instead of his eyes, you couldn’t bare to see what he was feeling. Betrayal? Anger? probably both.

“If you wont tell me…miles will” you started walking past him but you gasped when Miguel grabbed your arm and dragged you to his desk “just like that huh? you choose someone else” his voice was shaking with anger, he made you choose but he didn’t expect you to choose anyone other than him.

“Miguel you’re scaring me” you were already crying, desperate to get him to let go. He hadn’t realised his claws had come out and they were digging into your skin, he only notices when he feels your blood leak down his fingers and past his knuckles.

It didnt make him stop tho

You were pushed over his desk harshly “i have given you everything, i have done everything for you. All i asked was for you to stay out of this YOU were the one who decided to get involved” he ripped off your suit and pressed himself against you, leaning forward so his chest met your back. “i bet you chose miles because you knew i wouldn’t actually let you go” he laughed under his breath “you want this, i bet even more than i do” his dick was hard against your ass, even through his suit you could feel it throbbing.

You were thrashing underneath him “Miguel stop! please please i don’t wanna do this i’m scared” you were sobbing and still putting up a fight to get him to snap out of this.

“Shhh shh oh cupcake don’t cry” he kissed the back of your hair and rubbed his thumb back and fourth on your hip. He pushed forward and the both of you let out a small noise. “Don’t scream” was all you heard before your panties were torn off and not even seconds later Miguel buried his thick cock inside you, bumping against your cervix.

Your scream lasted a millisecond before miguels hand came to your mouth and held it shut “nasty little slut, don’t pretend you didn’t want this to happen” he was steady, a simple pace but as soon as you felt a pulse of rage wash through you, you bit his hand and he only grunted a little. You could hear his breathing become heavier, and the sound of his fangs coming out made you flinch. “Wait Mig-” you were cut off when he slammed his hips into you, forced your arms behind your back and bit into the side of your neck.

You couldn’t scream, the poison aswell as the bite had shocked you.

Miguels hand let go of your arms and he kicked your legs further apart before pounding into you. “silly..silly girl” he had his hand on your back keeping you still while his other held your hip “mmm i should’ve fucked you in a position where you could see just how good your little cunt takes me” you knew he was lying, about how ‘well’ you were taking him. You know you’re swelling, red sore, maybe even bleeding on his dick.

“i can barely even fit in this tight- f-fuck” his hip’s stuttered when you accidentally clenched around him, you were trying to hide the sounds of your crying but when you clenched, his claws dug into you again and you yelped in pain “Shhhh there there, it’s okay pumpkin look at you, doing so good, not fighting me” he kissed the bite mark on your neck and drove his dick deeper inside your gut. You gripped a random object that was on his desk and you stifled a pained scream. “Stop! i can’t i- you’re too deep you’re hurting me!”

Miguel huffed and flipped you onto your back so he could see your face. Seeing it messy with tears made his dick throb and he ignored your pleas completely, grabbing your legs and pushing them back so your knees were almost beside your head. You were tiny compared to him, he could fold you if he wanted to.

“Miguel stop!” you screamed at him and he hushed you again, he felt a little bad so he finally started fucking into your g-spot. The change in your expression was priceless, you choked out a moan and quickly grabbed on his huge arms “m-miguel” you buried your face against his chest as he smiled “atta girl, you like that dont you?” he supported the back of your head with his hand as you whined against his chest, his other arm holding himself up as he made you take him deeper, bare in mind, he wasn’t all the way inside you.

“no more no more” you breathed out when miguel kept trying to fit himself completely inside you. For once this time, he listened and pulled out just a bit and started kissing you. “i’ve always wanted this” he purrs against your lips and wipes a tear from your cheek. “do you know..fuck..how many times i’ve gotten hard seeing you in your perky little spider suit hm?” his breathing became heavier as you shook your head no, he whimpered and shook his head slightly “so-so many times baby”.

He was pulsing inside you now, and you could feel him struggling to hold himself together. “y/n” he whimpered again and gripped your thigh, his hand letting you lay your head back down softly before he pushed his thumb against your clit and rubbed it, making you jolt up and cling to him. He picked you up with ease and had you against his wall, your legs over his shoulders so there was no way of you touching the ground or escaping. “Gonna breed this little pussy, stuff it- ah- full” you dug your nails into the back of his neck and he moaned against your neck, shooting his cum so far inside you. The feeling of it tipped you just over the edge and you desperately started grinding yourself against the roughness of the trimmed hair surrounded his dick. He groaned and helped you grind against him to drag out your orgasm “thats it pumpkin that’s it…good girl” he kissed along your jawline and carried you to his bed, laying you on your back.

You were about to move but he shook his head, kissing your cheek “the chances are better if you lay on your back” he whispered and you were about to ask what he meant but you suddenly couldnt move. “i’ll uncuff you in a short while princess, just stay still for me okay? i love you so much you’re not going anywhere” he smiled against your skin before leaving.

—

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel #spiderman #spider man 2099 #spider man #spiderman smut #spider man 20099 smut #miguel o’hara x reader #rapekink #oscar isaac smut #oscar isaac x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley smut #marc spector x reader #smut #non con #miguel o’hara fluff

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river13245 · 2 months

Text

All I Wanted Was You

Warnings: ANGST, Rick being an ass, CHEATING, Daryl being protective and Negan being an ass and flirting at wrong times.

Series maybe (pt 1)

Rick had always been a man who usually knew what he wanted. It was part of the reason he was the leader of your group. He always took charge and made big desisious after thinking about it long and hard. It was something you admired about him.

It was one of the many things that made you fall for the man. The way he lead everyone through all the troubles that had came your way. How he cared for Carl and Judith and always made sure people were okay. Its was admirable how he cared for people.

In fact there was a time when he was sure of you. He had developed feelings for you many years ago and he was very sure that he wanted you. So when the two of you finally got together it was amazing. As amazing anything could be in the apocalypse. He would fall asleep next to you and you even woke up with him in bed. Some days he would be up early and heading to go do things he had to do. But on the days when he would sleep in late, with only the sheet covering your bodies. Those were the days you really just let yourself pretend there were no walkers. Just the two of you and your family happy and safe.

With the both of you being a couple, it was something people could tell if they paid attention. Either holding hands or taking care of eachother. When shit went down he would always try to protect you, or look for each other afterwards. You would do the same for him. People just knew.

However that all slowly began to change after about two years into the relationship. At first you kept making excuses for him. Saying it was because she was new and he had to make sure she wasn't a threat to anyone. That he had to show her around. Help her train and make sure she knew the rules and everything.

It started the day that Michonne joined the group. At first Rick was still right beside you the whole time. A bit weary of her because he didnt know her and she was new. He didnt want to make the wrong decision but he ultamitaly decided to let her stay.

You and the group were a bit hesistant at first. But when she slowly began to help people with things around town. Everyone started to get along better, letting her feel welcome. You even went out of your way to talk to her and invite her on small trips.

Everything was fine, or so you thought. But after a while Rick started to become distant. He would wake up in the morning and instead of staying in bed and wrap his arm around you. He now gets up and throws clothes on and barely even kisses you goodbye.

There was one morning when you had wanted to spend some time with him. Make the both of you some food before starting the day but he had decided to take a quick shower and start heading out. You were trying to have a conversation with him but he was giving you rushed answers as he put on his boots.

You walked up to him and grabbed ahold of his arm and made him look at you. "Rick what is going on. Why are you in such a rush?" you asked and he looked at you "Just have to go on a run with michonne and Daryl. We gotta try to find more weapons"

He seemed to be telling the truth so instead of starting what you knew would be an argument you nod. "Alright I love you" and with that he begins to walk out the door saying "love you" and that's only one of the things that makes your chest hurt. He always said "i love you too" never just two words. The other thing was that he didn't even look at you when he said it and left without a kiss or anything.

This wasn't the Rick you agreed to be with. But maybe he was just going through things he couldn't talk about. All you knew was that he is the man you want, you've been in love with him for years. Carl even liked you and that took a bit of work because he wasn't a big fan of opening up right away But you two were close now.

-----

It had been five months since Michonne had entered the group. You hadn't seen much of her but you haven't seen much of Rick either. Deciding to spend time with Maggie or Dary to fill your time. Maggie had been your best friend since before the outbreak happened. Both of you adjusting to this new life. She was even your number one supporter when you and Rick had gotten together.

The both of you had been on patrol just making sure no walkers were coming. It was a slow day so the both of you were talking for a while and she could sense that something was wrong. "okay what is going on? You're being off"

A sigh escapes you and you begin to vent. Telling her about how rick has been acting and about the fact that he's almost always out. And when he's not he comes back and he is quiet. Nothing like the man you fell in love with. Even Maggie is confused because that is weird behavior from him.

But then you go and try to defend him. "But I know he's been working a lot. He goes out on runs alot with Daryl and Michonne and comes back just really tired"

As if you had summoned him. Daryl comes around the corner looking sweaty, probably just coming back from hunting. "what about me?" he asks and so you say "You and Rick have been going out on runs a lot with Michonne"

He looks confused and shakes his head "No I haven't. Only runs I go on, im alone or with Carol" Now its your turn to look confused "what do you mean? Are you trying to tell me that Rick has been alone with Michonne for months now.?"

Maggie grabs ahold of your hand and you scoff and stand straight up. Brushing yourself off "I am so sick and tired of this. I thought he liked me...well loved me. He wanted ME before she came along. But that's just life right, there always is another person someway somehow"

Daryl looks guilty even when he has done nothing wrong. Maggie pulls you into a hug while Daryl rests his hand on your back. You don't cry but you just stand there for a moment before pulling away. "Daryl i'm going to go on the trip you all are taking. I'm going to go kill Negan with you all"

Maggie nods and Daryl smiles "alright. Go get some sleep cause we are leaving tomorrow" you nod and walk back home and once again you go to sleep alone. Rick was gone when you woke up which is probably best since he didn't want you to go on the trip with everyone. But you are anyways.

You end up getting ready, putting on a thick shirt and made sure to have a bag and some supplies with you. Weapons were always around you so you made sure they were loaded before making yourself a quick breakfast. You were in the middle of eating when you hear a knock. "come in" you say and in comes Daryl.

"we gotta go. You're riding with me on the bike" he says and you nod. He always seemed to know exactly what you wanted. Just knowing you don't want to be near anyone besides him and Maggie right now. So when you guys walk to everyone , he gets on the bike before holding out his hand and helping you get on.

Once you guys are on and ready is when Rick walks to the group. He gives his pep talk, one that you weren't listening to at all. Your hand still in Daryl's squeezing it. Rick looks around and notices you and he gives you a look basically asking what the hell you were doing. But you look away from him and tell Daryl to start the bike.

Everyone leaves and some go separate ways. You were always with Daryl, he seems to want to keep you as close as possible to protect you. The both of you talk during the ride because its how you cope with nerves. By physical touch or cracking jokes. So he just listens and laughs at some of the things you say.

When the two of you get there Rick tries to talk to Negan. He walks out and they walk up to each other. You were beside Daryl who has a hand on your arm. Rick and Negan are arguing and having a contest on whose dick is bigger. (not really) but it's what they are acting like. Seeing who will make the first move, however when Negan turns and looks at you he smirks.

You had only ever seen this man one other time and that was when he killed Glenn. However he seemed to recognize you and he runs his tongue across his teeth and smirks. "well well well. I see you brought me a little surprize. Why don't you come on out darling"

Daryl grips onto you but you turn to place your hand on his chest. "its okay Daryl. Let me do what I've gotta do. I've gotta get you all out of this, no matter what I have to do" He gives you a look as you pull out of his hold and walk out into the open.

Rick looks at you "what the hell are you doing?"

Walking up closer but giving space so your farthest away from rick as you can be. "Doing what I have to" you say with a monotone voice. This earns a chuckle from Negan "woah Lovebirds aren't singing this time. Trouble in paradise?"

This makes you and Rick both look at him. Negan holds up his hand in mock surrender. "look just let them go. Most of these people have families to get back too"

At your words one of Negan's followers holds up the gun and aims it at you. You freeze in your spot but you don't look scared, in fact the only one who reacts is Daryl. He starts to walk in front of you but Rick holds his hand out to silently tell him to stop. Rick doesn't even look phased and thats what causes your chest to ache.

Negan had quickly looked at the man who was aiming at you and said "now we don't go around shooting people who hasn't really done anything to deserve it. Especially such a pretty one" The man lowers it and you seem to be able to breathe a bit more but he aims it at Rick now and that's when you stand in front of him. Shielding him from the bullet if they were to shoot.

You look straight at negan "Look enough with this fake flattery. It will get you no where with me. If you want to get anywhere with me, you will let them go. Rick has a family to get back too, Daryl he has Carol, Everyone has someone waiting for them, especially kids." you pause to breath for a second before deciding your next choice of words. "haven't you ever had a child or someone you cared about. That you would do anything to get back home too."

A muscle in Negan's face tenses and you already know the answer. "then let them go. I'm sure your a reasonable man when you want to be" you try to flatter him just a little before he speaks "And what about you huh? What do you have back there waiting for you?"

He steps closer to you which makes you look up at him. Not backing down from whatever he was trying to do. Which was intimidate you. "Absolutely nothing. What do you have waiting for you? Just a bunch of people who follow you cause they are scared of you. Does anyone really hope and pray that you come back?"

Negan grips your jaw which makes you wince but you remain eye contact. You knew you struck a nerve and that was the point. "You better watch how you speak to me. I may not have someone hoping that I come back, but it seems to me like you also have no one. Not even the man you love seems to be worried about you"

Now he had hit a nerve and you grip onto his leather jacket and pulled up away from you. Just enough so that you could swing at him. Your fist hits hit jaw and he chuckles at that. "don't ever speak to me about what I do or don't have. That is none of your business"

Instead of negan retaliating from you hitting him. Instead he grabs your arm and pull you close to him. Then he looks out at everyone saying loudly "we will let them go. Go back to their people, but i'm not going empty handed" His grip on you tightens and you groan. "ill be taking y/n. Back with me so now I have two of your people"

Negan looks down at you and you glare up at him. Obviously not happy with the arrangement but you knew how this was going to go. Before you stepped out of alexandria. The first time you met Negan he had seemed fascinated by you. In fact you had yelled at him in front of everyone and even killed one of his people after he killed Glenn. And when he didn't kill you on the spot. That's when you knew he wouldn't.

However when Eugene had left and joined their group. Is when you made your own plan, you would get on the inside too. Fuck some shit up on the downlow. Eugene had been your best friend, the both of you being inseparable and when he left is when you knew you had to go through with the plan. And here you were.

So when Negan looks down at you and asks "Who are you?" Everyone knew what he wanted the answer to be. Maggie gasps and everyone's eyes are on you, Even Ricks. If this is what you had to do to get his attention, you didn't want it. Taking a deep breath before saying "Im Negan"

This is when everyone was aloud to react. Negan loved a crowd reaction, he loved the attention. Especially when he got what he wanted. Daryl tried to grab you but Rick pulled him away "what do ya think yer doin" he asks and you look over at him. Tears threatening to fill your eyes but you look at Rick.

He looks confused and a little disappointed. There was no love in his expression, their hasn't been for months now and so you looked back at Daryl. Who looked pissed and hurt and something else you couldn't quite place. Maybe desperation. "Im doing what's best"

When Rick had finally gotten Daryl inside a car and he stopped fighting. He runs to Michonne, his hands on her shoulders and arms. Checking for any bruises or wounds and when she reassures him shes unharmed. You can visibly see the sigh of relief he has, as he pulls her to him holding her close.

That is what you had been missing for months. Thats whats been missing in his eyes when he looked at you. Now you knew why, Its because hes been giving all of his love to her.

You must have looked as awful as you were feeling because Negan places his arm around you. At first you think he's going to flirt or joke around but he actually just pulls you to him and begins to walk the both of you back inside. He doesn't say anything, for the first time he has nothing to say.

#river13245 #angst #male reader #gn reader #the walking dead fanfic #negan smith x male reader #negan smith x gn!reader #Rick grimes x male reader #rick grimes x gn!reader #Daryl dixon x male reader #Daryl dixon x gn!reader #Michonne grimes #maggie greene

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thelov3lybookworm · 7 months

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Can I request a cardan x reader fic? Anything you want to write! Just gimmi my baby there isnt much of him on this app.🥺

Weeping heart

Summary: Y/n has seen cardan go through lovers like they're wrappers of chocolates. One in his hand before the previous is even in the dustbin.

Now he has found Jude, and she does not know what to do.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: anon thank you so much for this request! i love you so much for this. It was such a good writing exercise honestly. This is mainly pining, maybe angst.

Also, this marks the beginning of me writing for characters outside of the acotar universe, so I'm very excited

also I didnt tag anyone because the general taglist i have was for acotar.

(i might be down to write a part 2 👀)

(not proofread)

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

She bit her lip as she stared up at her best friend, trying to contain the smile that threatened to overtake her features.

"Let me see that smile, beautiful." He grinned lazily at her, his dark eyes twinkling under the rays of sunlight that penetrated the thick canopy of leaves above their head. They were currently seated under a weeping willow, hidden away from the whole world outside. Where only the two of them existed, and nothing else mattered.

The place was special to Y/n and Cardan. This was where the two of them would meet all the time, just the two of them, away from their friends and family. In here, they didn't have to pretend, didn't have to act like everything was okay. They could be themselves, and not care about getting hurt.

He leaned closer to her, searching her eyes, his eyes and features softer than Y/n had ever seen before.

"Shut up." She mumbled, but that action had her lips splitting into that smile she was trying so hard to supress.

His grin widened. "There we go."

His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb absently brushing her lower lip, his gaze following it with a hungry look. Then his eyes lifted to hers, a question in them.

She dipped her chin almost imperceptibly.

That was enough for him, and he leaned forward, his lips getting closer and closer to hers.

She let her eyes fall shut.

But the kiss never came.

•○🌑○•

She opened her eyes, wondering why he hadn't yet kissed her, and found herself staring at the ceiling of her room.

She blinked blearily, wondering what the hell happened, and then she realised.

It had been a dream.

She closed her eyes again, heaving a sigh as she willed herself to go back to sleep, back to that dream, hoping he'd kiss her before she woke up again.

Of course, that was very nearly impossible.

Because someone decided in that moment that it would be a good idea to knock on her door.

She was certain she knew who it was.

Still she called out, demanding the identity of the knocker.

The answer was immediate. Cardan.

She groaned lowly, dragging her hands down her face.

He didn't wait for her to let him in. The permission wasn't ever needed between the two. That hadn't changed. Yet.

The next moment, he had barged in through the doors, a grin on his stupid face.

She sat up, trying to look anywhere but his face. Heavy emphasis on trying.

"Y/n, guess what happened."

"I am not in the mood, Cardan."

She winced internally. She was being cruel. He had done nothing wrong. It was not his fault he didn't know of her feelings. She had no right to be rude to him, especially when he was so excited about something.

He wasn't bothered by her lack of enthusiasm. He simply plopped down on her bed as she climbed out of it, getting ready for the day as he launched into a story of how after last night's revel, Jude had told him to wait in their bedchambers while she walked into the closet, her skirts swishing around her legs.

How she had retuned without it.

Y/n tried not to pay attention to the details, but she couldn't help it. She had never been able to ignore what Cardan said, never been able to let anything he said go unheard. He had spent nearly all his years being unheard because no one considered him worthy of their time.

She had long ago decided that she was not going to be one of those people.

She heard everything, and her torturous brain created all the images Cardan's words conjured. Her traitor of a heart clenched, but she ignored it.

"That's great Cardan." She said when he finished speaking, and when she looked at him, he was practically glowing with happiness.

Y/n felt guilty for being jealous of the mortal who had everything Y/n ever wanted, but she couldn't bring herself to care when her heart was breaking into pieces everyday.

"It feels like I've waited for this an eternity. Never thought I would get to have Jude in my arms."

She gave him a smile. "I need to meet up with some generals this morning. I need to leave."

He nodded happily, straightening from where he'd been lying on her bed. She watched him walk out of her room, a knot forming in her throat, her resolve hardening.

She needed... she knew what she needed.

•○🌑○•

Jude had her eyebrow raised, and it concerned Y/n how a mere mortal's judgement could make her nervous.

"Tell me again why you want to go on this mission?"

Y/n reigned in a frustrated sigh. "There is no real reason. I just wish to explore the Elfhame more."

The look Jude gave her told her she saw right through the act. But she didn't push the mater.

"There has been rumours of a rebellion on the other side of Elfhame. If you really want to go on this mission, then you need to know that this is an incredibly long and dangerous mission. You'll not only have to investigate the place, but also squash any hint of rebellion you find."

Y/n gave Jude a smile. "Sounds amazing."

"Sure it does." Jude's eyes narrowed as she continued. "If you need more time away to, as you say, to explore, then after you finish this quest, have a tour around Elfhame and meet up with people who have associated with Madoc before. Make sure they are not plotting something behind our backs."

Y/n dipped her chin in a nod. "When can I leave?"

"Before the week ends."

"So does that mean I can leave right now too?"

If possible, Jude's eyes narrowed further and she stood. At that moment, the door behind Y/n opened, and she stiffened as the smell of his perfume reached her.

"Y/n! I thought you were in the meeting with the generals. What are you doing here?"

Y/n smiled stiffly, turning to look at Cardan.

"I had something important to discuss with Jude." She gestured with her hand.

Cardan nodded, as if that was the most understandable thing in the world.

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing-"

"She is leaving on a long mission-"

Jude and Y/n spoke up at the same time, and Y/n had to resist the urge to smack her forehead.

Cardan's head swung towards Y/n, and he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing, but no words came out.

Y/n turned to Jude, letting some of the fury at her secret being revealed show in her eyes. And then she smiled tightly. "Could you send that list of people and areas where the rebellion is rumoured to be to my room? I need to begin packing."

Jude's eyebrows were high, but she nodded. Y/n bowed, then turned on her heel and strode away, ignoring Cardan and the way he was trying to gain her attention.

As she left the room, she heard him following and calling for her, but she ignored that too.

Just the way she had always ignored her weeping heart, the one that beat solely for Cardan.

The one that was broken beyond repair now.

•○🌑○•

#cardan greenbriar #cardan x reader #cardan greenbriar x reader #cardan x y/n #cardan x you #jude x cardan #prince cardan #high king cardan #the cruel prince #the wicked king #reader insert #x reader #character x reader #angst

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