#do people really just. sit around in pain for hours. when they dont use harmful coping mechanisms lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleekista · 5 months

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you don’t have to be perfect

barça fem x teen!reader, lucy bronze x teen!reader

request: here

A/N: also i would just like to say, if anyone has any feedback for my writing it’s greatly appreciated cuz i’m not the best writer ik that but i want to improve.

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It was apart of the contract I first signed with Barcelona that I continue my studies and finish school. Not ideal, but I get by with around 80% and sitting on a B for most my classes. What I didn’t factor in was the amount of stress I would have on top of the League and UWCL games when exams and assignments from 6 different classes were coming up. That’s hard on a 17 year old.

I felt myself start to drift away from everyone in the 2 weeks before mayhem. First it was denying to go out with the younger girls like Salma and Vicky, both of whom understood. Vicky being the same age as me and Salma only 2 years older than us. Then as expectations rose, classes became longer and filled extra information. All the time I wasn't on the pitch, I was studying. Or sleeping. (we dont talk about how even thats being cut down to maximum 5 hours a night).

Living with Lucy meant that she was bound to catch on to what was happening. It was inevitable. She took me under her wing when I first arrived along with some of the older girls and since I don’t speak Spanish natively, I was told to go with Lucy who was told to keep an eye on me. It’s nice, when you don’t want her to worry about how you’re ignoring everyone and have bags under your eyes whenever she sees you. She really does try her hardest to get me to do anything that’s not over analysing and over-studying the numerous topics, but no matter how much it pains me. I always turn her down.

After another night of studying until 2am, there’s an early morning training session and I know I’ve only gotten 4 hours of sleep. If I told the medical staff I’m sure they’d pale.

I’m aware that I probably look like death walking, but it doesn’t bother me. If I pass with above average grades, I’m happy and I know my actual parents will be too. I ignore the concerned looks that Irene and Alexia give Lucy, and get changed ready for the training session.

It’s gruelling, the lack of sleep from the past 2 weeks has finally started to catch up. When I least needed it to. Maybe I am working too hard. It’s too late for that though. I know I’m being watched by the captains, acting for a little bit longer won’t do much harm. Can it?

When the third water break rolls around, I sit on the floor and flop onto my back, closing my eyes. Too tired in the moment to do anything other than breathe. The sunshine above me dulls as Lucy and Alexia stare down at me. When I open my eyes. My captain has a raised brow, while my roommate has her arms crossed.

“Y/N, get up please. Now.” It’s Lucy who speaks first. I don’t give in. What’s their problem?

“No. I am fine where I am thank you very much.” I bite back. Lucy looks like she’s trying to hold herself together and Alexia looks furious. Unconsciously, I sink into myself hoping the ground could swallow me up.

“Nena, we won’t ask again.” The spaniard says, her voice low as she sticks out her hand.

I reluctantly take it, pulling myself up and staring at the two in front of me.

“Come.” Alexia says blankly, leaving no room for argument before walking toward the main building. I sigh, doing as she says or I know I won’t hear the end of it. Lucy trails just behind me, her jaw set and making sure I don’t run away.

When inside I’m placed on a couch, wishing and praying to any extra-terrestrial being that I can leave this confrontation. What is it even about? Why am I here? I’ve done nothing wrong.

“So, we noticed you’ve been pushing people out. You also look dead.” Classic Alexia, straight to the point.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I look away.

“Really? Because when I go to bed, which is around midnight and sometimes 1 if I’m doing other work. Your light is always on. You better fess up now before we make you do extra laps, and clear all the equipment from training.” It’s Lucy this time, starring daggers into me. Still, I don’t let up.

“Maybe I left the light on.” I shrug. “And why do we have to do this right now? I have 2 exams tomorrow. So, if I may. Let’s finish training so I can get to study and do other things.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about Y/N. You’re deflecting absolutely everything we say. You’re not taking the information in. I get you’re stressed but that doesn’t mean you isolate yourself.” She pauses, sighing deeply. “We are going home right now. You will not touch your school work, this has gone on for long enough. I know Alexia agrees with me.”

“Before you argue, just think. Is this really the best way I could’ve prepared? Yes nail in, do the study for good results. But also remember to utilise the support system you have, the team, the coaches, take a break.” By the end of the rant I feel tears well in my eyes. I feel someone hug me and I can tell who it is by the obscurely large hands.

“Nena, go home with Lucy. Get some rest, and not only will you feel better but it gives your brain a break. When the week is over we can talk more but for now go.” The Catalan smiles warmly. I nod my head saying thanks before walking with Lucy to the car.

“Do you feel alright? You do look very pale.” She places her hands against my face and frowns. “No temperature. I’ll get some food into you and we’ll have a rest day. Just us.” I nod slowly staring out of the window as my mind races.

When we get to the apartment, no conversation is made and I immediately go and take a shower. It’s there that I cry and let all my frustrations out, the stress finally taking its toll on my mind.

When I’m dressed and ready I walk out to the smell of pancakes and Lucy sitting on the couch with Narla next to her. She hears me and turns her head around, eyebrows furrowing at the state I’m in.

She pats the open spot next to her which isn’t taken by the Westie and hands me a plate, which I accept gratefully.

It’s a comfortable silence, but I know she’s waiting for me to say anything. And this time, I do.

“I’m sorry Luce.” My voice is quiet and more high pitched compared to what it normally sounds like.

She smiles lightly.

“Hey, these things happen. You’re smart, just as Alexia said give your mind a rest and you’ll do better. Myself, Keira, the rest of the team only want the best for you and your well-being. Let’s not talk about this now, take it step by step. You’ll be ok.” I nod wiping freshly formed tears as she pulls me into a big hug, giving the rest of her pancake to Narla who eats it happily.

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And ok it would be. I end up playing Fifa with Lucy the rest of the day before eventually falling asleep against her. As for the exams, I pass by with good grades and after everything’s done the team takes me out to a restaurant to celebrate. As much as I deny it, this team is the most important thing to me. I love and adore them all so much.

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni #barca femeni #barca femeni x reader #lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #alexia putellas

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hikari-ni-naritai · 2 years

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what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

hmmm. religious trauma. mlp. runescape?

7. what scares you the most and why?

honestly like. pain? do not do well with pain. in terms of things that dont like, actively cause me harm, though, like irrational fears, darkness.

9. tell a story about your childhood

i didnt like, DO anything during my childhood, so i mostly only have stories about shitty things my parents did. but mostly the shit my parents did wasnt horrible enough to be interesting. uhhhh. well i dont know when this was but at some point when i was young my mom took me to see some comedian and i ended up sitting next to a cute blonde girl who was like. extremely touchy-feely, which i dont think id ever experienced before. like she was like one of those southern old ladies who would touch your shoulder when they laugh. yknow? anyway i got her email address bc i didnt have a phone or social media at that age and we talked a little bit before she dropped off the face of the earth. i hope shes doing okay, she was a very nice girl.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

i dont have an answer to this! it might be the kind of thing where i know it when i see it? but i dont really have any kind of definition of romance.

17. name 3 things that make you happy

cats, cute girls kissing, cute catgirls kissing

19. favourite thing about the day?

i have only been up for an hour and a half but i did have time to run to Town Proper and get mcdonalds for breakfast instead of having to eat burger king again

20. favourite things about the night?

OH i understand the previous question now. theres nothing good about the Day. things are open. fuck the day anyway the NIGHT is excellent. theres no one around and if i need to drive anywhere the roads are fuckin empty. im so used to being able to not think about driving that when i go anywhere before midnight i get kinda overwhelmed by the existence of people.

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

ive answered this already but i can think of another one. im proud of myself for making the insane decision to start hrt while still having to go to work in the office. it didnt pan out, obviously, bc we went into lockdown within a month of that decision, but it was an uncharacteristically powerful decision.

26. fave colour and why?

i like sky blue, bc back in college when i was still an education major, when i ahd to like, shadow a teacher in their school, i had to dress up and the nicest shirt i had was a blue button-down shirt that went really well with a couple ties i had. around this point my artist friend i mentioned in a previous response started up a comic about our friend group and he put my character in that shirt. used to use a picture from that for my tumblr and stuff for ages so the colour has just kinda stuck with me since then

27. any nicknames?

some variations on emily but thats it.

29. what do you do when you’re sad?

really depends! sometimes i listen to sad music, sometimes i take a drive for an hour, sometimes i complain about whats wrong to someone, sometimes i mope around in bed until i pass out. who knows!

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

i dont think theres any surefire cure it really depends on what im sad about. probably bc some things that WOULD make me feel better are things im nowhere near in the mood to experience.

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voidselfshipp · 2 years

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Where is your rider

Cw: age gap ( is it really age gap though? Cause death is an inmortal being? And my s/I is 18?. Idk) angst, injury and blood mention, food and meat mention.

-> only people tagged allowed to reblog.

-> Taglist: @tex-treasures @mercuryships @80sboyfriends @malewifepatrickbateman @transmimir

Summary: death stumbled into a small hideout, when its owner comes around, hes pleasently surprised when she takes care of him.

Song to listen while reading: The moss & come along (cosmo sheldrake) and "Where is your rider" (the oh hellos)

Death stumbled down the old forest, injured and on the verge of losing conciusness, holding on the heavy wond on his side.

His heavy boots drag through the mud and Fallen autum leaves. Ragged and pained breaths as he follows his crow.

Dust flew some meters above the ground, leading Him to a most peculiar place.

A small cave, with two dark red courtains closing its entrance, he stumbled, and looked around, a hammock, a cast iron stove, dried herbs, hanging plants and a bookshelf with books. Fairly lights hanging around the trunks and roots that passed through the ground above.

The pale rider sat on the floor, using a healing potion to ail his wound. Still cursing under his breath.

Once he was better, he took off his armor, heavy metal pieces fall to the Rocky ground, he drags his body and hops on the hammock, big enough to fit him if he slept with his knees against his chest.

He covered himself with the brown blanket, dust drew the curtains and flew to the outside to Keep watch.

Be it because of exhaustion or because he needed a nap, the horseman fell asleep almost inmediatly, the wind blowing on the outside, whistling.

It wasnt hours later until he woke up, the smell of something cooking hit him, sitting up and noticing the bandages around his sides.

His eyes dart towards a figure, a human girl, young, Brown hair in a bun wearing a mahogany red jacket, whistling a soft tune.

Dust sits on his owners shoulder shaking his head, if he let her in it was because dust deemed her harmless

The girl Turned to him, smiling-- oh, hi, youre awake, how are you feeling?

Death stared at this human, how she managed to bandage him without dust ripping her a New one was beyond him.

-- its okay-- she said-- Heres your food, I figure you could use some -- she gave him a Plate of an omelette, that was covered with bellpeppers of all colors and some onion And garlic, he could see some grinded meat, it smell wonderfull, he also noted that she had her own Plate with food-- do you mind making me some space?

The rider nodded-- apologies-- he scooted back, sitting cross legged, eyeing the food-- this looks...good

--Thank you, you should try it, its not much but Its all I could sneak past my mom

At the mention of a mother the rider perked up-- how old are you, young one?

--Eighteen, its hard to move out in this economy

Death nodded, humans had many rules, nonsensical to him-- What is your name?

--Im Jerico, nice to meet you..?

-- Death...

--Cool name-- jerico stated munching down on her food.

He took a bite out of the omelette,and stops for a moment, it was very good, he started eating bite after bite.

--Want more? -- she asked.

He nodded-- If you dont mind making more...

--Not at all, I dont mind-- she hopped off of the hammock And started making anotherone.

--If you dont mind me asking, young one, you didnt hesitate on giving me your name, nor age, thats dangerous

--If you were dangerous, you wouldve harmed me already, you or your bird, besides you are in no condition to move even two feet...-- Jeri answered.

He chuckled lowly-- how observant of you

While she made his second omellette, death just looked around, now having enough calmness around him to allow himself a moment of vulnerability.

He noticed the Stacks of books,some where Fantasy stories, others books about plants and herbs.

--How did you find this place?

--Oh well, I like to scout around the area and found this little place-- Jerico started-- with some help I managed to insolate the earth above us and slowly made this place my home,well..second home, I dont live here.

--Quite...cozy-- He commented.

--Thank you, heres your food by the way-- she gave him his Plate.

--..thank you

--Of course, let me check that slash on your side, Ill try to be carefull

--Your bandages are enough, young one

--I know, I just want to make sure its okay-- she watched him sigh and raise his arm a little bit.

--Attacking a Man while hes distracted with food, how clever of you-- He joked.

Jeri giggled and slowly undid the bandages, opting to change them since they were stained with blood.

While he Ate, the human calmly bandaged his side again, humming a melody.

The rider had to admit that he was quite calm in his current situation, he was warm in a comfortable bed, good food and warmth. This human meant him no harm as far as he could observe.

--Its a gnarly wound -- Jerico commented-- what in the fuck where you doing to get this? Who did you pick a fight with?

He chuckled-- a demon decided to pick a fight with me

--Oh, that poor idiot didnt know what was in store for him huh?-- She commented backing away from his now freshly bandaged torso-- picking a fight with a rider, stupid, just..stupid

At the last part he Turned to her, amused--How did you know I was a rider?

-- we humans have a lot of books about mythology, death -- Jerico answered grabbing a hefty book and sitting besides him on the hammock, finishing her food.

She opened the book and flipped to the chapter where it spoke about the four riders of the apocalypse.

As he read, Death was impressed about how accurate some of the things here were --most of this is right...-- he muttered amused.

--Keyword...most-- Jerico joked-- id like to know the parts that arent quite right, if you dont mind

Death chuckled-- Curiosity killed the cat, you humans say

--And the answer brought it back-- Jerico added-- thats how the whole saying is

The rider nodded-- very well then, listen carefully...

And so, he started to tell her what she wanted to hear.

His story telling took so long that night fell.

--Ah, seems my rambling took longer than expected, young one, you should head home...

--You are right,thanks for everything, Death, if you need anything let me know, maybe you can send dust over

--I Will, now go

Jerico nodded petting the crow and giving death a pat on the back, quickly walking out of the small cave.

The dark bird followed her home, making sure she was safe, and once she was inside her house he flew back to his owner.

The Next day, jerico wasnt home until afternoon, as she entered the cave, she was pleasently surprised by death drinking some tea sitting on the hammock, a fresh meal waiting for her over the stove.

--Hello death! Sorry I wasnt home all day, I was at school, you know how it is, senior Year and all-- did you Cook that for me?

He nodded-- it would be rude of me not to return the favor

She smiled leaving her bag against the book case and grabbing a Plate, snatching her water bottle from her bag and sitting besides death.

--How did you know when I was coming back? --She asked.

--i, -- he cleared his throat-- I sent dust to look over you, he let me know you were coming...

Jeri melted, putting her head against his shoulder-- thats so sweet, thank you, it tastes great

He smiled under his mask, looking down at her, giving her a nodd of acknowledgement.

So, day after day, death and jerico hanged out togheter in that cave, until the rider was able to walk again.

They sat on the floor, over a carpet, looking out at the raging storm outside, drinking some tea. The cave was still warm, but both sat slightly closer to eachother.

--Theres a song I wanted to show you-- jerico said, grabbing her phone-- it reminds me of you, the songs about the pale rider's horse...so your horse basically...

He raised a brow, amused at her commentary. Nonetheless, he made sure to pay attention to the lyrics of the song.

"Was it you 'mid the fire and the ember?

Were you there to bedevil and beguile?

See, your face wasn't quite as I remember

But I know that wicked shape to your smile"

Death slowly started tapping the rythm of the song against his porcelain mug. Hearing the song.

He thought of the third phrase of the first verse, she seemed to know him, not because of the books she read, but truly know him.

She knew when he was having a bad day, when he was happy, when he was tired, and he knew when he was smiling under that mask.

"Bury me as it pleases you, lover

At sea, or deep within the catacomb

But these bones never rested while living

So how can they stand to languish in repose?"

His eyes drifted towards jerico who was watching the rain fall.

He had witnessed her on her stressfull moments, during exam season, or anxiety attacks, she was restless, And still was, but lesser now that her life regained some peace. He couldnt help but feel like the last line of that verse applied to her.

"He has thrown down the cavalry as gravel sinks

And as the stone founders underneath the sundered sea of red and reed

The shadow of Hades is fading

For he has cast down Leviathan, the tyrant, and the horse and rider"

Then his mind thought of the day they met, he had slain a cavalry of demons, the water puddles were tainted red with their blood.

He was casted into the trees of this human realm, and helped to recover by this human.

"Where is your rider?

Where is your rider?

He will hold with all of his might the armies of night

Still as boulders laid to the side 'til we pass by

He has hoisted out of the mire every child

So lift your voice with timbrel and lyre

We will abide, we will abide, we will abide"

Then, his final thoughts before the song ended were how hes destined to ride through the earth, he would make sure humans were safe and sound from both the armies of heaven and hell, and would make sure no-one, woman, Man or child was left behind.

But then he looked at her, he would make sure she would be alright, if she was still around by then.

--I liked it-- he said.

--Im glad you did...--jerico leaned in and felt him wrap his arm around her, pulling her closer.

Before he left, he summoned dispair, helping her up and starting to ride with her around the forest. He could hear her laugh as she held on the rains.

He would miss her, a lot.

Once back to the cave, he got off from the horse and took one last look at her-- Stay safe, young one-- she hugged him and he hugged back.

--Before you go..., I made you something... -- jeri gave him a necklace, hanging from it was a skull, with some yellow mushrooms growing from it-- a keepsake, if you miss me..

--I...thank you-- death said in disbelief holding the gift, that looked so small in his big hands.-- thank you for taking care of me, jerico...

--Of course, death...-- she made a pause, looking at him put the necklace on a pouch tied to his waist.

She sighed and kissed his mask-- Please come visit...

The rider was stunned for a moment, before lifting her up and nuzzling his mask against her cheek, she giggled, and then he set her down.

--I Will try...

--Goodbye, dust-- the girl pet the crow for one last time before death got on his steed and Rode away, dissapearing into a cloud of purple mist.

She sighed, shakily walking to the cave and looking at the small photo album she made.

There were few pictures, but those there meant the world to her, she looked at it for a moment, before breaking into heavy sobbing, falling on her knees and covering her face. She Will miss him.

#cw food mention #tw food mention #cw blood mention #tw blood mention #cw injury mention #tw injury mention #cw meat mention #tw meat mention #cw age gap #tw age gap #💀🖤comfort for the grim reaper🖤💀

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actualbird · 3 years

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Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tears of themis rosa #artem wing

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Black

Prompts: After POF, Roman takes over the abandoned color black. He becomes the hated side that Virgil used to be. By most, anyway. Janus and Virgil are concered. Patton chooses to ignore it. Romans room is really cold? and boy is he touch starved - anon

(Sanders sides Prompt) Any one of the sides is touch starved. fluff. (You dont have to do this just thought I might ask) - anon

Hello there!! I just wanna say that I love your work and I think you’re such a talented writer. Idk if this is a weird ask but would you consider writing Roman angst with the song “it’s OK I wouldn’t remember me either” by crywank as like inspiration? Thank you so much <3 -anon

buckel up babes this one's a doozy

Read on Ao3

Warnings: implied/reference self-harm by way of self-negligence, pretty intense self-hatred and neglect that could verge on suicidal, but NO ONE DIES, everyone's fine at the end, we don't break shit and not fix it in my house

Pairings: it is platonic found family hours

Word Count: 5697

Do you know what no one ever tells you about the color black?

It’s seamless.

There are no cracks, no tears, no imperfections, because everything’s so dark you can’t tell what’s a trick of the light and what isn’t. Everything blends together. At first, second, even third glance, it’s perfect. Pristine, even. It hides absolutely everything. It’s intimidating, honestly, that level of deception. The way it can make anything look like it’s meant to be there, as if to live the colorless and lightless life is all it was ever destined for.

Darkness has always found a way of feeling like home, even to the ones who are afraid of it.

You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Roman hadn’t wanted to go to the wedding. He didn’t want to go, but it’s what Patton wanted. It’s what Thomas would’ve wanted. If Roman hadn’t been so loud. But it hurt, it did, when they said that they shouldn’t go to the callback because there was such a slim likelihood of Thomas winning. Because Roman couldn’t win. But Roman wasn’t supposed to be the villain and do something bad so he sent Thomas to the wedding.

Bruises were supposed to be yellow, or green, or purple, not black.

But if he had yellow, green, or purple bruises, he would’ve blamed a yellow, green, or purple Side. And that was bad.

So he hid them, because as he learned, no one was looking for them anyway. Patton cared when he didn’t show up to the video and then he was there and oh, having someone there, even if they only cared a little, was like rainfall in a desert, it was wonderful, Roman would’ve sung if he thought it wouldn’t make everything worse. But Roman was good, so he never complained, and he did his job to the best of his ability.

But what if his job was bad?

But there are two Creativities, a Roman and a Remus. And no one else liked Remus, because Remus was bad and Roman was good. But Remus isn’t bad, he’s just the opposite of Roman. And Roman didn’t want to be Remus because Remus was bad. But Remus isn’t bad.

Creativity isn’t bad.

Bruises aren’t supposed to be black but they can’t be red.

Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain but what else do you call someone who laughs at vulnerability, who scorns people’s earnest attempts to help, who single-handedly ruins someone’s life?

Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain, but bruises aren’t supposed to cover every inch of his skin unless he deserves it.

His skin burns. It crawls and aches and screams and darkens into bruises. His throat aches from the wordless screams and the horrible things he’s said to everyone. He’s been so selfish, he’s tried to make everything go his way, tried to make it about him, not about Thomas, because everything they do is supposed to help Thomas, help Thomas, that’s what they’re supposed to do, they’re supposed to help Thomas, not themselves, why is he doing this, why is he doing this?

Because he’s the villain.

Roman cries.

What else is he supposed to do?

He cries until the tears grow thick, sluggish, oozing out of his eyes until he can’t see anything but them, until his breath grows thick and his chest heavy. He cries until he has to struggle to open his eyes because of how swollen they are, how globulous the tears have become on the ends of his lashes. He cries until his head splits and his chest wails from the pain he isn’t supposed to have but deserves, deserves every little bit. He cries until his body is consumed by the bruises.

His costume is a straightjacket. He needs it off. The white hurts now, it burns his arms and cuffs his wrists. He doesn’t deserve it so he rips it off. Every seam that he ruins is another bruise. The rips are so loud they burrow into some soft part of his brain and live there. The white is still imperfect because it’s on him.

Only when his costume lies in tatters around him, his sash torn off and thrown away, far away, does the white look pure.

He cries himself to sleep with a smile on his face.

Far, far away, a black hoodie is tugged back into the Conscious Mindscape.

When Roman wakes, his head is full of static.

His lungs inflate and collapse on autopilot, driven by the merciless pump of some distant machine, turning the crank to draw air in and out, in and out.

His hands are numb, fingertips rubbed raw and inflamed from tearing relentlessly at fabric. He turns them slowly and it’s like watching himself in a video game.

His face is cold. He paws at his cheeks and feels sticky residue, etched into his skin. His eyes stick slightly when he blinks and he doesn’t know if that’s just his face or if there’s something else.

He is swathed in black fabric, an old threadbare hoodie that has gone years unloved, untouched, unseen. It’s selfishness that makes him tug it closer, feel a faint bubble of pressure on his screaming body.

He should get up, he should go make sure he hasn’t hurt anyone else with his tantrum again, he should apologize.

But…what would be the point?

Like Patton asked, does there come a point when someone keeps apologizing so much that you just have to admit they’re bad?

Roman isn’t good. Has he ever been?

Something interrupts the pleasant numbness and it shoots from his chest to the soft points at the base of his wrists, making his hands tingle. He decides he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want it. He wants everything to stop.

He’s selfish, they all know that, he’s just going to end up hurting them anyway, so why bother trying to fix it?

Apathy, his tired brain supplies when he lies there, unmoving, on the ground, for hours and hours and hours, unwilling and uncaring to fix things.

But that can’t be right. Roman is here because he cared too much, he did too much, he was too much. How can he now be the epitome of not caring at all?

If only he never cared, if only he wasn’t so attached, if only.

If only he had been Apathy, maybe he wouldn’t have been so hurt.

His pride got him here. His pride, his wants, his his his. He wanted everything and burned down the things that would’ve helped him get there because he couldn’t do it right. He is the villain and villains always have too much pride.

Pride. Apathy.

Prapathy.

Apride.

I’m not Creativity anymore, he thinks to himself as he lies there, still on the floor as his chest aches and his eyes sting and the sticky residue drips down his cheeks onto the bruises. He stares and stares and stares at the wall and a faint part of his mind that exists outside of the static realizes he never did get around to fixing that crack in the baseboard.

Pride, apathy. It doesn’t matter. There’s a much easier word that he can use to describe both of them.

Wrong.

—————————————————————

“I don’t know, Thomas,” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t think that’s a valid solution either.”

“But it makes sense,” Virgil protests, shoving his hands into his pockets, “all we have to do is not talk to anybody else—“

“But that will hurt their feelings!”

“But we won’t hurt ourselves.”

Janus and Patton look at each other for a moment before Patton sighs and scratches the back of his head.

“I—I don’t know, this…this feels weird.”

“None of us are happy about this, Padre,” Virgil mutters, “but it’s the best solution we’ve got.”

“Real high bar we’re setting there, isn’t it?”

“Listen, Snake Face, if you’ve got a better idea—“

“Virgil, enough.” Logan shakes his head. “We need to keep thinking.”

“We’ve been at this for an hour, Logan,” Thomas says cautiously, “I don’t know what else you think we’re gonna get to.”

“We’ve already passed the optimal point for productivity, yes.”

“Oh, well, we can’t just give up now!” Patton puts his hands on his hips. “I’m sure if we just keep at it for a little longer—“

“You said that half an hour ago, Patton.”

“And I’ll say it again!”

“Because that’s going to make everything go much easier.”

Thomas sighs as the Sides fall back into bickering. Normally, this wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary—pretty much all they do is argue back and forth—but Logan’s right. They’ve made almost no progress. He finds himself staring at the TV.

Why is he staring at the TV?

He frowns, tilting his head. It’s literally just his TV. Why is he so fixated on it right now? It’s not like it’s gone anywhere, it’s sitting right where it always is. He stares at it most of the day, why is it so weird that he’s looking at it now?

Wait—

“Guys,” he interrupts, still staring at the thing he’s not supposed to be able to see like this, “where’s Roman?”

The room pauses. Then Logan sighs.

“Oh, of course, that’s why we’ve been having such a hard time coming up with solutions, we don’t have Roman.”

At Virgil’s side-eye, he glances around to see similar looks of disbelief on the other’s faces.

“What?”

“Did you…did you just admit we need Roman?”

“He is Creativity, it makes sense that if we are struggling to be creative, he isn’t here.”

“Okay, that makes more sense.” Virgil shakes his head. “Thought you were admitting he was important or something.”

“Please, his head is big enough as it is.”

Janus hides a snort.

“Why didn’t he show up earlier,” Thomas asks, “he’s normally one of the first of you to get here.”

Virgil shrugs. “I dunno, I haven’t seen that much of him lately.”

“Is he…okay?”

“Who the hell knows, he’s Roman.”

“My guess is he’s been in his room,” Logan says, glancing at Roman’s usual spot, “I haven’t seen him either.”

Thomas doesn’t miss the way Janus and Patton glance at each other. “If you two have information now might be the time to share it.”

“Roman…hasn’t come out of his room,” Patton says after a beat, “not since…”

“Wait, he hasn’t come out since the wedding?”

Janus shakes his head. “I’ve barely seen him open his door.”

“That doesn’t…normally happen, does it?”

“No,” Patton says, “and, uh, he doesn’t normally ignore us either.”

“Ignore you?”

“We’ve tried knocking. It doesn’t work.”

“Perhaps Thomas can summon him,” Logan offers, “you have more power than any of us do, he’d have to answer you.”

“Well, here goes nothing. Creativity!”

Someone pops up in front of the TV.

Someone in a white costume with green embellishments and a mustache.

“Remus?”

Remus glares at them, his Morningstar at his side, his costume white, pristine, and light.

“What the fuck have you done with my brother?”

—————————————————————

It’s been weeks.

The fans have accepted Remus as Creativity. They think that the videos are better than ever. They think this was Thomas’s plan from the beginning.

There is one end card where the Sides are watching a movie and some of them spot a dark figure in the corner. Who could this be? Is this the mysterious orange Side everyone has been waiting for? Is this the Side that’s been hurting Thomas so much?

Zoom and enhance. It’s Virgil’s old hoodie. They’re sitting where Remus used to sit. They’re not staring at the screen, they’re looking at the others. What could this mean?

Someone spots the faint outline of a tiny crown perched atop the figure’s head.

And then, well, then it all makes sense.

There was always one Side that messed up everything, that made everything more complicated. There was always one Side that, if you thought about it, you could trace everything back to. There was always one Side that was told he was making the bad choice and yet, never seemed to learn.

They start to put together timelines, evidence, essay-length meta posts on how of course, this is the plan, why didn’t they see it before? Those that had disliked him from the start crow about how they were right, how everyone doubted them but look who’s laughing now. They point out how he’s become a Dark Side, maybe he was always a Dark Side, and how incredible would that storytelling be? To warn against the pressures of society’s expectations, the idea of good versus bad, or authentic versus forced. How of course, they’re wearing Virgil’s old hoodie because they’re the hated Side now. How they’re not looking at the screen because that’s not what they want, they want to be a part of the famILY.

Vitriolic rants. Accusations. Vent fics. The unsympathetic tag is overflowing.

Because who else could the villain be?

—————————————————————

Roman lives in the cold now.

His fireplace isn’t lit anymore. The door to the Imagination doesn’t work anymore. The blankets on his bed aren’t thick enough anymore. He drifts through a haze where only the emergency systems in his brain are online, where only the awareness needed to sleep, breathe, and move the little bits he needs to move are present.

He doesn’t know that there’s nothing behind the red door anymore, that when Janus and Virgil come to knock on it, worried, or when Remus storms through the Imagination and tries to knock it down by force, there’s nothing for them to find.

He doesn’t know that a new door, a black door, leads from his room to the hallway, far away from any of the other rooms. He doesn’t know that it’s so dark back here that no one would be able to tell there was a door if they didn’t put their nose right up against it.

He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care.

A new kind of ache settles in his bones now. Pain is an old friend, but he’s yet to give suffering a proper handshake.

He misses when he could go and ask someone for help.

He misses when Patton would turn to him without any judgment in his eyes, without any ‘well, you know, kiddo—‘, without any ‘let’s start off with—‘, just the soft words of I’m here, I’ll help you. He misses being able to walk up to Patton’s door and knock on it and know that he would be safe on the other side.

Patton would open the door and soften, his mouth curling up into a small smile as he says hey, kiddo, come in. He would sit Roman down on the bed and press a glass of water into his hands. He would rub his back as he drank, taking the empty glass gently and cupping Roman’s face in his hands. He would ask what’s wrong, sweetheart, what can I do? And Roman would say he just wants a hug, he just wants to not be alone for a bit. And Patton would smile and coo about how Roman was always welcome here, sweetheart, I’m right here, I’ll take care of you. And Roman could fall asleep with his head on Patton’s chest and believe that everything was okay.

He misses when he could walk up to Logan and ask for help and he wouldn’t be scoffed at or turned away, he wouldn’t be looked at suspiciously and asked what he really wanted. He misses when Logan could come to him too and just spend time together.

Logan would knock on his door and ask if you have a moment, would you like to walk with me? And Roman would smile and say, of course, he always has time for Logan, and they could go somewhere in the Imagination and just talk. And Logan would say that’s an interesting idea, I wonder if—and they would walk and talk for hours. And Roman could bustle up to Logan’s door and say I’ve just thought of something, and Logan would open his door and be happy to talk with Roman and it would be okay.

Roman curls up tighter and feels nothing.

He wishes he could have something to miss for Virgil. He wishes they could have bonded over their love of Disney, their want to talk about the things they’re interested in, or even the need to just have someone else in the room with them for a bit. He wishes their relationship wasn’t just spitting barbs at each other, each hoping to hit the bullseye first and knock the other one out of the race. He wishes he could’ve done better.

He wishes he could have something to miss for Janus. He wishes they could’ve done this right, that they could’ve bonded over the want to keep Thomas safe but also have him be himself. He wishes that he hadn’t laughed, hadn’t scorned, hadn’t fallen back on his pride to keep himself safe at the expense of Thomas. He wishes that maybe, just maybe, if he had been a better puppet, then he wouldn’t have been dropped so suddenly.

But as it stands now, more than anything he wishes he could hear them when they say the things they say about him because then he could figure out which bruises were theirs and take comfort in knowing that they still touch him in some way.

The bruises are a constant now. From the online hate to the casual remarks from the others to the way that Patton hasn’t even tried to come find him anymore—he can hear that, you know—he can’t turn over without landing on a new smattering of bruises. The hoodie helps to cushion the blow a little bit.

He misses Remus.

Remus was…

…Remus was everything.

Roman misses his other half. Roman misses his brother. Roman misses his Creativity.

When they were small they would curl around each other as if they could fuse if they focused hard enough. They would wrap their arms around each other so tightly that it would be a pleasant ache when they woke, never minding because they were tighter. Remus was always so warm and Roman hoarded every single bit he could get.

Roman was cruel to push his brother away and now he understands how it feels.

He misses Thomas.

He misses when he was allowed to go and see Thomas. When he could talk to Thomas. When his presence was celebrated or at the very least, tolerated. He misses it. He misses helping.

But he’s helping now, by staying away.

He’s cold.

He’s so cold.

—————————————————————

do you remember what it felt like

to be touched?

press of fingertips against shoulders

bump of a forehead against yours

palms meeting and parting a mere second later

in days gone by

do you remember

warm?

humans thrive off physical contact,

we’re not built to hold each other

at arms’ length.

infants will die

if they aren’t held enough.

and I am so

cold

—————————————————————

Something is wrong and even Patton can’t ignore it anymore.

The Sides shuffle uneasily in front of the red door until Remus raises his hand to knock against it.

“Roman?”

Silence.

“Roman, please, please, just—just say something.”

Silence.

“Where the fuck are you, Roman?”

“Don’t yell,” Logan mumbles, “you’ll make him think we’re angry at him.”

Remus takes a deep breath.

“We’re not angry, Ro-bro, we’re just—just please make some noise.”

Silence.

“…we’re coming in, Roman.”

But they can’t. Because as Remus turns the knob on the door, it falls forward. The entire door comes off just to reveal—

A blank wall. With no sign that there was ever a room behind it.

Thomas can hear the scream.

—————————————————————

Roman hears the scream and can’t move. But he can close his eyes and reach out and see what’s going on. After all, he hasn’t done anything, so something must be wrong if someone else is screaming.

He feels something in his chest twist and snap.

“Re?”

Across the Mindscape, Remus’s head jerks up.

“Ro,” he breathes, getting to his feet and rushing off down the hall as the others hurry after him, “Ro!”

“Remus, what’s going on?”

“Why isn’t Roman’s room there anymore?”

“Where are you going?”

They barrel into the hallway and smack into a black door. Logan’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happened.

“Roman’s become a Dark Side,” he says, fingers scrabbling where the door meets the wall, “he’s—he’s really hurt, we have to help—“

“Move, L, I’m gonna break the door down.”

“You’re not gonna do it without me.”

“Roman!”

Roman turns his head to look at the door. Are they…here? The hoodie rasps against his undead skin and he winces. There are still bruises.

“Roman!”

The door shudders its frame. He could open it. He could. He just has to reach out and—

“Ro!”

Remus.

The door unlatches and his brother pours into the room, letting out a wail when he spots Roman in the bed.

Janus hisses as soon as he crosses the threshold, this room is freezing. It feels as if no one’s moved for years inside, as if the heat has been sucked out entirely. His gaze flies to Remus, who’s over on the bed, his hands scrabbling at something in black material.

Roman.

“Oh, little prince,” he whispers, horrified, “no, no, no—“

“We have to get him out,” Logan orders, startling Remus into action as he scoops Roman into his arms, “we have to get him warm. His core temperature is too low.”

“Shower? Bath?”

“No, if we shock his system we could make it worse. Janus, I need your heating pads, Patton, something warm to drink.”

Janus and Patton vanish.

“Virgil, weighted blankets, Remus—“

“I’m here.” As Virgil ducks away as well, Remus helps Logan cradle the limp and freezing form of his brother in their arms as they begin to rush out of that horrible, horrible room. “You thinking bathroom?”

“Get him to Janus’s, that’ll be the safest place.”

“Got it.”

Sure enough, Janus has no objection and sweeps them inside, setting down the heating pads as Patton bustles in with two thermos flasks and a mug. Virgil pops back with thick blankets as they lay the cold form on the ground. Roman’s eyes blink sluggishly as he stares up at Remus.

“...Re?”

“Yeah, Roro, it’s me, I’m right here, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here faster.”

“What’s…wha’s going on?”

“You’re too cold, Roman,” Logan says gently, “we need to get you warmed up.”

“Oh…”

“It will be easier if we take a few of the layers off,” he explains, still careful to keep his voice low and even as the others scurry around, “is that alright?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to unzip the hoodie.” Logan works slowly, patiently, stopping when any flicker crosses Roman’s face. “That’s it, you’re doing very well, I’m almost done.”

By the time he’s coaxed the hoodie off of Roman’s shoulders, there’s a little bit of color back in his cheeks.

“Very good, Roman, you did well. Virgil’s brought a few warm blankets and Janus has heating pads for you, do you think you can sit up?”

“Don’t know.”

“That’s alright, you’re doing alright.” Logan glances up at Janus.

“Little prince,” Janus murmurs, sitting by Roman’s head, “if you can sit up, I can sit behind you and help warm you up, does that sound alright?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you, sweetie, we’re going to sit you up now.”

Logan and Janus sit Roman up slowly, only to pause when the long sleeves of his shirt fall down.

“Roman,” Logan asks, trying frantically to keep his voice calm, “are you hurt?”

“Mhm.”

He bites back the fearful response and patiently asks where, how bad, can he see?

“Everywhere.” Roman lifts his arms weakly. “’S all bruises.”

“…can we see?”

“Okay.”

Logan’s hands begin to tremble as he works the shirt over Roman’s head. He wasn’t kidding when he said everywhere.

There’s barely an inch of skin that doesn’t look bruised black and blue. Patton stifles a cry as he drops to his knees next to them, looking at Roman like he’s never seen it this bad before.

Oh, Roman, how did they not know? How could he just ignore him like that?

“Get him covered,” comes Virgil’s voice, “he’s still too cold.”

Janus grabs one of the blankets and wraps it carefully around Roman’s form. It should help distribute whatever pressure they apply so it won’t aggravate his injuries too severely. He takes one heating pad and scoots forward, bracketing Roman’s legs with his own and wrapping one pair of arms around him to press the pad to his chest.

“Can you feel that, sweetie,” he asks softly, “is that too warm?”

“No.”

“Good, good, little prince, you’re being very brave.” He turns away to reach for another and so misses the little shudder that goes through Roman. “Do you think you can handle another if I press it to the back of your neck?”

“Mm.”

“Let’s try, little prince, and if it’s too much, I’ll stop.”

“Okay.”

“Here we go, sweetie—“ Janus presses it carefully to the base of Roman’s skull, just at the edge of the blanket— “there, does that feel okay?”

“Mm.”

“Good, sweetie, you’re doing so well, so good for us, that’s it, you relax now.”

Roman starts to tremble.

“That’s alright,” Logan soothes, “you’re warming up, it means you’re going to shiver a little more, you’re alright, Roman, you’re safe. You’re doing well.”

It certainly doesn’t seem that way once Roman’s breath starts to come in gasps. Virgil nudges Patton out of the way and sits, gently calling Roman’s name until his gaze snaps to Virgil’s.

“Hey, Princey,” Virgil says slowly, “you gotta stay with me now, okay? We’re right here, no one’s angry, nothing’s going to hurt you. Just focus on me.”

He ignores the startled noises when Roman starts to cry thick, black tears.

“Eyes on me, Princey, that’s it, stay here. We’re just gonna sit here and breathe for a moment, okay?” Roman nods and Virgil starts to take big, exaggerated breaths. “Good. That’s it, Princey, you focus on me and you breathe. It’s okay. You’re doing great. Just stay here.”

When the viscous black liquid slows, Virgil reaches out and begins to tuck Roman’s hair back. A moment longer and he pauses, noting how the scratch on Roman’s face is covered in the thick black tears.

“Princey, can I clean your face off for you? You’re doing really well at breathing, I’m proud of you. Can I help you with the rest of it?”

“O-okay.”

There’s a bottle of micellar water and a pack of cotton circles pressed into his hands. He moves in slow, careful strokes, changing out the circles as often as he needs to. A pile of them grows beside him as he works, doing his best to get all the black off of Roman’s face. Roman just cries.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Patton murmurs when Roman’s cry gives way to a wail, “it’s okay, you cry all you need to, we’re not going anywhere, it’ll be alright.”

“We have you, sweetie,” Janus says against Roman’s neck, “we’re here.”

Remus lets out a broken noise.

“Oh, Roman, you didn’t…”

Logan’s head whips sharply around to scold Remus only for his mouth to fall open in shock.

Remus’s costume is bleeding too. The same black that drips down Roman’s face is slowly coloring Remus’s costume again, back to what it normally looks like. Remus’s mouth is agape, staring horrified at Roman.

“Oh, Ro—“

“What’s going on?”

“Check the bruises on his neck,” Remus orders as Janus pulls back the blanket, “are they still there?”

“They’re here, but they’re…lighter, how is that—?”

“Roman is the Ego,” Patton mumbles, “he gets bruised when—when—“

“Oh, shit,” Virgil curses, before quickly hushing Roman’s discontented mumble, “and with all the hate that’s been gunning for him—“

“Oh, sweetheart—“

Roman lets out another sob and the tears run clear.

“The Ego is kept healthy by positive attention,” Logan says softly, scooting closer and rubbing Roman’s shoulder through the blanket, “you’ve been starving, haven’t you?”

“He’s not cold because he’s hypothermic,” Remus blusters, “he’s touch starved.”

“It’s still not safe to introduce him to direct contact all at once,” Logan warns when Patton and Remus look like they want to rip the blanket off, “we have to take it slow.”

“So what do we do?”

Janus just leans down and presses a kiss to Roman’s temple. “You’re so brave, sweetie, you’ve been so strong.”

They watch as Roman’s tears begin to wash away the black.

“We love you, sweetheart, you’re so important to us.”

“Stay with us, Princey, we need you.”

“You’re doing very well, Roman, we’re very proud of you.”

Roman cries, ducking his head into Virgil’s waiting hands as Remus’s costume colors itself black again.

After a long while, when Remus looks like he normally does, Roman shakes his head and looks up at them.

“Where am I,” and he sounds like Roman again, “what’s happened?”

“You were starving, sweetheart,” Patton mumbles, “and we didn’t notice until it was too late.”

“O-oh,” Roman blinks, “is that…is that why I’m so cold?”

“You’re touch starved too,” Virgil adds, “and we, uh, L said it wasn’t a good idea to try and shock you out of it.”

“Try and drink something,” Logan says quickly as Patton reaches for the mug, “you’ve been crying for a while and you’re dehydrated.”

“Is that…hot chocolate?”

“Your favorite, kiddo.”

Remus sits down at Roman’s side as he drinks, staring at him like he’s not seen him in ages. Which, well, none of them have, really.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Roman repeats, looking sheepishly at all of them, “I, uh, well, the last video I messed up a lot. I, uh, I shouldn’t have laughed at your name, Jan—where are you?”

“Right here,” Janus mumbles, giving him a gentle squeeze, “and you’re forgiven.”

“Oh. Uh, that was easy…are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Yes, it wasn’t great of you to do, but I’m not exactly blameless either and…”

He squeezes him again.

“…you’ve been hurting enough.”

“Logan, you too, I—I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Roman, but I agree. It’s alright.”

“Why are you all forgiving me so fast?”

“Because,” Remus mumbles, cupping Roman’s head and resting their foreheads together, “this happened.”

They all watch as Roman shudders as Remus shows him what happened.

“Oh—oh—I—oh no—“

“It’s over now, sweetie,” Janus reassures, “we’ve got you. You’re okay, you’re safe.”

“C-can I have a hug?”

“Of course, honey, come here—“

“Let’s get the blanket out of the way, L, is he—“

“It should be safe now, yes.”

“Remus, I—oof!”

“I gotcha, Ro-Bro.”

“It’s still—I’m still—“

“Patton, grab that end of the blanket.”

“This one?”

“That’s it, yes.”

The Sides end up swaddled in the blanket, their heads poking out, as each of them pulls a little bit of Roman into their arms to warm up. Janus and Remus wrap around his upper body, mindful of the few bruises that haven’t been healed yet. His legs are in Patton’s lap, as Logan and Virgil each hold on to his hands. The poor thing is still shivering, still shaking, still a little overwhelmed.

But Janus coos into his ear as his head lolls back, Remus holding him tightly. Logan’s thumb strokes over his palm as Virgil lets him squeeze as tight as he needs to. Patton makes sure he’s off the cold tile and he’s warm.

They’re going to have to work out what to do about the fans, about the videos, but right now they need to worry about Roman.

Speaking of Roman—

“I—I need to apologize to Thomas.”

A cry goes up as he says so, Patton reaching up to pat his knee. “You don’t have to do that right now, sweetheart, rest, it’s okay—“

“I won’t—he won’t be able to rest until he knows what’s happened.”

As if he can hear them, they feel the familiar tug of one of them being summoned. A quick glance around shows that if one of them is going, all of them are, so they appear on the floor of the living room, swaddled in the blanket.

Thomas’s mouth drops open and he rushes to their side.

“I was gonna ask if you found Roman, but I—Roman, buddy, are you okay?”

“I…I don’t know,” Roman mumbles, “but I’m sorry.”

“For what, buddy?”

As Roman begins to apologize, for being away, for hurting Thomas, for being selfish, Thomas just shakes his head.

“No, buddy, that’s not all on you. You—yeah, okay, some things happened, but it’s not entirely your fault. You don’t need to think of it like that.”

“Well said,” Logan mutters, “now help us get Roman to rest.”

“So what Disney movie are we watching and how many pillows do we need?”

A lot, as it turns out, is the answer. And they have to bite back laughs at the way Thomas makes a noise when he’s swept into the blanket too. But Thomas is warm and Roman is still cold and the movie plays on the screen.

“Hey, Roman?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re my hero.”

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#sanders sides #dragonbabbles #fic #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #remus sanders

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thisisgonnafuxkinkillme · 3 years

Text

POV: You Got Wayyy Too High

Warnings: Drug use (weed lol)

Aizawa Shouta/ Eraserhead

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked Aizawa as he plopped his bag at the door. You were trying to smoke weed from a pipe, but instead of lighting the actual herb, you were trying to heat it up from the bottom of the pipe.

You’d never smoked weed, but wanted to try it and bought the supplies from a local smoke shop, as well as buying some good stuff from your friend.

Unfortunetly, you also didn’t bother to look up how to actually use a pipe, instead just relying on knowledge you gained from drug documentaries.

This meant that you only knew how people heated up heroin with a flame under the spoon, which meant that surely you could do the same with weed.

“No, no, no, no. Stop that,” he ordered. You were his age, but nonetheless still buckled under his stern tone.

“Look, do you need me to show you how to do it?” he asked, gently taking the glass pipe from your hand. You nodded.

“Watch carefully,” he ordered, as he properly lit up the herb as he inhaled the smoke. He then passed it to you, watching you carefully to make sure you were doing it right. Soon, you got the hang of it.

Even sooner, though, you were a coughing mess.

“Calm it down, there. Don’t take huge puffs. You’re not impressing anyone here, y/n,” he scolded, taking another puff. He did it effortlessly, as if he’d done it for years. (He has.)

You wanted to impress him, though, even though he seemed to not care what you did. You just wanted to prove to him that you were ~cool~.

Well, this ended up in you looking very... uncool.

While Aizawa was chilling with a pretty decent high, you were laid across the bed, starfish style, blasting music in your ears. You were honestly vibing though, so Aizawa didn’t mess with you. For now.

The next day, he definitely teased you a little bit about how totally out of it you were, and how you listened to the same song on loop for 3 hours.

“How did you know that?” You asked, cocking a brow.

“Uh, because your headphones weren’t plugged in?”

Yagi Toshinori/ All Might

He was smoking when you came home, and though he tried to hide it, you smelled it. He acted as if he was just caught as a 17 year old in his mom’s house.

“Uh, no, it’s nothing! I...I don’t do anything like that!” He insisted.

“Toshi, come on. I can smell it,” you smiled. He covered his face.

“Please, please, keep this between you and I...I only do it because it helps with the pain and-”

You cut him off, “ I dont care why you do it, just lemme have some already!”

Of course, you were just teasing him, and he knew that, but he couldn’t help but ask, “...You smoke?”

You shook your head playfully.

“If you’ll let me, I’d like to try some, though!”

He passed it to you, and you took a way-too-long drag. Instantly, you were doubled over, coughing and hacking your lungs out.

He patted your back firmly.

“Since this is your first time, you’re gonna cough a little. Just try to take smaller puffs and take deep breaths. There you go.”

Once you recovered, and Yagi got his turn, he handed the joint back to you. It continued to be passed back and forth between you two until it was finally no longer than a centimeter.

For a moment, you both just chilled out on the couch together, just vibing. That was until Toshinori noticed your goofy, dreamy facial expression. He chuckled to himself, but that was all you needed to become hysterical, laughing so hard that you couldn’t breathe. Seeing you laugh so much of course made Toshi a mess as well, which only added to your decent into utter madness.

Eventually, though, you both calmed down, and Toshi excused himself so that he could go take a quick bath. He often did this whenever he smoked, so that the warm water could aid even more in soothing his aching muscles and creaky bones.

So you were left alone. Totally unattended. At first, everything was totally fine.

However, as you started to actually feel the effects of the herb, you began to panic.

Is this normal? Does everyone else feel like this when they smoke? Oh God, this isn’t right...oh fuck, I’m gonna be the first dumbass to OD on THC...fuck...

Thoughts whizzed past your brain, every single one making sure you knew how totally fucked you were.

Tears streamed silently down your cheeks as you counted your pulse with two fingers on your wrist, but you coulnd’t find a pulse.

oh fuck...i’m probably going to pass out any minute now...it’s all over...

Images of your final goodbyes to everyone you loved flashed just behind your eyes.

“How’re you holding up, pumpkin?” asked Toshi, coming back from the bath, in a robe and his golden hair still damp.

You looked at him, your eyes red and puffy.

“Toshi...I’m...I’m dying...I love you, okay?” you murmured. He would have laughed, all except he saw the genuine fear in your eyes.

He sat down next to you, surrounding you with all of his lanky limbs.

“You’re not dying, honey. What you’re feeling right now is totally normal, I promise. Take some nice, deep breaths for me. Come on. There you go. Good.”

He cradled you there for a good while, until he felt your tense muscles finally slacken, and your breathing evened out.

Toshi made a mental note to never let you smoke that much ever again, guilt pinching at his sides.

Fatgum/Taishiro Toyomitsu

You had taken an edible cookie from your friend. She told you it was just a small bit in there, just enough for you to feel something.

You decided to be modest, eating just half of the cookie. You didn’t notice any effects, and out of sheer boredom you decided to go ahead and eat the rest of it. No harm in that, right?

Well, an hour later, it kicked in. You were expecting to feel something interesting, but you definately weren’t expecting anything like this at all.

Everything seemed so far away. Even your breathing sounded like it was coming down a long corridor and echoing to your ears. You could feel your soul swimming in your body.

Fatgum, who you lived with, luckily finished his hero duties early, and walked into the house joyfully as usual. He called out your name. You didn’t reply.

His large footsteps could be heard, but you were too busy thinking about how weird breathing sounds to notice.

Fatgum soon found you collapsed on the bathroom floor, face pressed against the cool tile.

Immediately, he propped you up against the wall, looking into your eyes with great concern.

“What did you take? Y/n, look at me. What did you take?”

You lazily looked at him, your face completely serious. As serious as it could be, anyway.

“...i...it was...edible...” you mumbled out. As soon as he understood, he was laughing hysterically.

“s..stop...s not funny...” you grumbled, punching him in the gut.

“Alright, alright... let’s get you into bed. You’ll feel much better once you wake up,” he smiled, picking you up and bringing you into the bedroom.

You quickly were comforted by the warm, heavy comforter. Fatgum took a moment to look at you in your groggy state, trying his best to hold back a laugh. It was so painfully obvious that you’d never done anything like this in your life. His only regret was not being around to witness your ascent into cloud 9.

Soon, though, you had drifted into dreamland.

Hizashi Yamada

You locked yourself in your bathroom, sneakily lighting up the joint you bought off of your friend. Your boyfriend was in his room, playing Fortnite or some shit, and frankly, you were embarrassed to smoke in front of him. You knew that he’d definately find something to roast you about, and he was relentless.

A couple minutes after you lit up, though, the door was basically busted down.

“HEY, HEY! You better be planning on sharing some of that!” yelled Hizashi, his hand already out and waiting. He still had his headset on, but you saw with relief that his mic was turned off. You passed it to him.

“Augh! Where the hell didja get this weak shit, y/n? Nah, this ain’t gonna cut it,” he complained, putting it out.

“Hey! I got that from my friend, dude! What the hell?” you frowned. Before you could be too mad at the waste, though, Hizashi pulled out a small wooden box from under his bed. Opening it, he revealed his stash of entirely too much pot.

You covered your mouth, stifiling a laugh. How the fuck could you have not smelled it?

Within five minutes, he’d rolled up a blunt, and was passing it to you, already lit.

It was gone after a little over half an hour, and you could already feel the effects. Your eyes were dry, your stomach craving junk food, and your brain craving chill vibes.

He returned to his game, unbothered but his volume definately toned down about 5 notches. He was a lot more chill than you’d ever seen him act, ever.

You found your way into the kitchen.

Once his game was over, he met you in there. You were in front of the fridge, pulling out thing after thing. By the time he’d gotten to you, you had eaten half a jar of pickles, three pieces of cake (with your bare hands), drank a bunch of soda, and you were headed for the chips that were sitting idly on the top of the fridge.

“oh, God...what the fuck are ya up to, dude?” he groaned. He did not want to deal with this mess.

You grinned at him. “I dunno, maan... look dude could you just get me these up here? please bro...” you giggled. He sighed dramatically, taking them.

However, instead of handing them over to you, with your dirty little fingers, he ate them.

“stoppp, bro, please lemme get some!” you pouted. He acted as if he couldn’t hear you, leaving the kitchen. You followed after him, kicking him in the shins.

Still, he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hizashi, come on, maaannnn!”

He laid himself on the bed, covering himself with blankets. He pulled out his phone, calling you. “Y/n, I miss you so much, man. Come chill out!” he spoke into the phone, trying his best not to break the act. You were absolutely furious at this point, punching at him.

“I’m right here, you doughnut!!” you groaned. Dramatically sighing, Hizashi frowned, “I really wish y/n was here to sesh with me...” all while still eating the chips. You jumped on top of him.

Finally, you caught him off gaurd, grabbed the chips, and locked yourself back up in the bathroom.

This time, though, he just left you be.

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purplespaceace · 3 years

Text

there are a lot of things to address when it comes to writing depression. the two things that I think bother me the most is the romanticisation of depression and the fact that I have yet to come across any girl characters with depression (I listened to dear evan hansen and went, “there are two people with depression/suicidal tendencies. logically, one of them should be a woman” but both of them are boys). so, how do you write depression?

first, you have to accept that it’s not going to be pretty. depression sucks. your character won’t want to shower, brush their teeth or their hair, put on deodorant, or do any other hygienic things you can think of. your character will be smelly, their room will be dirty, they won’t care enough to eat, they’ll have bags under their eyes from lack of sleep. again, depression isn’t pretty.

to be honest, I don’t really have a good way to organize this post, so it will mostly just be a list of symptom and tips, as well as a few things to avoid.

symptom time! people with depression will:

not clean themselves, whether that means brushing their teeth, taking a shower, or something else

not take care of themselves. they won’t eat a lot, which might make them unhealthily skinny, although sometimes we eat a ton out of boredom, or I’m just so tired I need some snack food. we either sleep too much or too little. we won’t change our clothes. we dont drink a ton of water.

we have something in common with people with adhd: executive dysfunction! (aka the suckiest thing) executive dysfunction means we will want to do something or know we should do something, but won’t be able to for hours. this leads to people calling us lazy, which leads to our next thing.

we have horrible self-esteem. your character does not think that they are worth much, if anything. they start every sentence with “I might be wrong” because they have been wrong, a lot, and they believe by default that they are more likely to be wrong than right. this can also lead to or is the result of anxiety, whether high-functioning or not.

we aren’t just sad all the time. for one thing, you might not notice because we’re used to keeping a happy face. for another, sometimes we’re just stuck with incredible apathy. and we can be happy sometimes.

we also shouldn’t cry constantly. in the earlier stages of depression—the first, I dunno, month maybe, people can cry themselves to sleep every so often, but after that you get so used to it and so out of tears and ability to care you just don’t cry randomly anymore.

also, we’re tired aaaall the time. I’m exhausted from being in pain and convincing myself I have a right to exist constantly.

we've lost interest in the things we like. it takes a lot of effort for me to care about things when I’m having an episode.

sometimes I just wake up with a bad, “nothing is worth the pain” feeling in my stomach, which sucks.

some days will be worse then others. sometimes, your character can seem like they don’t even have depression. the next day, they can be a mess.

we can find it hard to pay attention because we just don’t care.

we have bad memories. I don’t remember why. but we won’t remember things that happened in a depressive episode very well.

we can spend whole days sitting on the couch watching television.

doing things should be a struggle! getting out of bed! making breakfast! doing things is difficult!

we think about death a lot. not just suicide.

some miscellaneous tips:

think about how your character‘s mindset is impacted by their depression. I check in on my friends, work to make my days meaningful, and try to make sure people feel safe to be themselves around me. someone else I know values life less because of her depression. what does your character learn? how does it impact them?

make sure their depression is visible. don't mention it once and then have it disappear.

what not to do:

don’t make your character‘s love interest or big epiphany cure their depression.

don‘t make your character’s friends or family complain about their depression or see it as a nuisance unless it’s there for a purpose.

end the ‘suffering artist’ trope. please.

personally, as someone with depression, I don’t want any more stories where we successfully commit suicide or we‘re right about ourselves being bad human beings. I love dear evan Hansen, but the fact that connor’s depression was right about him was something that made me question whether my depression was right about me. the kinds of stories about depression I want to see should be hopeful ones, that reinforce the idea that whatever your depression is trying to convince you of isn’t true. in the story I’m writing currently, my character, katie, tries to commit suicide, but her best friend saves her by convincing her that herself and love are worth fighting for.

self-harm scars aren’t cool or gritty or emo. they shouldn’t be looked upon with awe, but pity.

depressed characters should want to go to therapy. no one wants to be in pain all the time.

that said, we might have second thoughts about therapy because we don’t think we deserve it. we believe we should be in pain. however, we do not believe that therapy is useless or we don’t need it.

if you have any questions or see anything I’ve missed, let me know!

this post is randomly italicized/bolded for people with adhd.

#depression #mental illness #writing mental illness #writing depression #writing tips #writing resources #list #writing help

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jadedxrealityw · 3 years

Text

-Betrayed- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

♡~🐍~♡

Request: Hi Kody! Can you do a jealous/protectv Draco where you're dating but every boy likes you and thinks you're super pretty and cute even though you're a Slytherin and you're always getting stare from boys especially your childhood best friend Lorenzo who also has a crush on you. He like pulls you aside to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom from Draco one day and touches you and you scream for Draco and that like the sectumsempra scene except as soon as Draco shows up and tries to help you, Enzo crucios you?

Kody: Woke up and chose violence huh?

Year: 7th

House: Slytherin

Possible Triggers/Warnings: cursing, Draco being the badass protective boyfriend he is, attempted sexual assault, wack ass best friends, reader harm.

♡~🐍~♡

saturday mornings were always the best. The weekend was starting and you were ready to just hang out with friends and spend some much loved quality time with Draco, your boyfriend. Yes. You, Y/n L/n were in a very loving relationship with the Slytherin prince himself.

you remembered the day he asked you to be his girlfriend quite clearly. He was so surprised you said yes, saying things along the lines of “But your so out of my league” or “are you really sure” it took you a total of 15 minutes to convince him that you indeed wanted to be with him.

now half a year later you both were the power couple of the school with people labeling you as the “hottest slytherin girl” which you found quite creepy. Boys always had there eyes on you and it wasn’t always the most pleasant feeling to be watched, unless it was Draco. Then you liked the attention.

Draco especially didn’t like the looks guys gave you, calling them “horny bastards” and other insults. At least you had one normal guy friend (or so you thought). Lorenzo. He was your childhood best friend and couldn’t imagine your life without him.

your boyfriend sure could. Draco knew Lorenzo was just like all the rest of the guys at Hogwarts. A horny bastard. He gave you the weirdest, lustful looks when you weren’t looking, but Draco was. He had tried to tell you about Lorenzo, but you always reassured him that it was just his jealousy getting to him.

Draco would unfortunately be proven right today.

♡~🐍~♡

“Darling, it’s time to get up” Draco slowly shook your unconscious body. You start to stir, until your e/c eyes open up. As soon as you see Draco, you smile “Hi” you whisper in a tired morning voice. He cracks a smile and leans down to plant a chaste kiss to your lips.

you had stayed in Draco’s dorm the night before because well- why not? “Do i have too?” you ask. not wanting to ruin the perfect position you were in at the moment. He lets out a quiet snicker before nodding his head “yes, my love. Now lets get ready. I’m sure you’ve left enough clothes here.”

Draco pulls the black duvet off of his body and gets out of bed. You groan in frustration before getting up yourself. “Stupid mornings” you grumble, your boyfriend laughing at your childish behavior. “I know dear, so sad” he puts on a mock pout as he reaches down to pull his shirt off.

you take a second glance at his toned chest. Hot damn. He raises a brow, a smirk plastered on his face “Eyes up here Y/n or i’ll give you something to look at” his tone was low and demanding. A shiver ran up your spine as you walk over to one of the drawers, face flushed.

you dig out a dark green sweater, a light green plaid tennis skirt and black stockings. You began to put on your clothes and Draco did as well. The whole process only took about ten minutes. Once you slipped the skirt on, you felt a pair of hands grip your waist.

a quick kiss was placed behind your ear “You look stunning. I wish no one else could see you this way” he whispers, his warm breath hitting the back of your neck. You let out a small whine “Can we hurry up and leave, so we can hurry up and get back”

he chuckles deeply and lets go of your waist, only to grip your hand. “I can agree with that” he opens his door and you both head out.

♡~🐍~♡

walking down the hall, you feel Draco’s hand grip yours tighter “Honey, calm down before you break my ring finger” you spoke in a sickenly sweet tone. You tug your hand away and pout. He looks over at you and sighs deeply “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to not kill every male in this school”

what a big baby “I know, but i’m all yours, remember that” you nod once. A smile graces his lips at your words as he looks forward. “Thank you Y/n. Sorry for overreacting again- Y/n?” he spoke, when he had turned to look at you once again. You were gone.

as Draco spoke someone grabbed your arm and had pulled you into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. You squealed loudly and hit whoever had dragged you in here. “Ouch! Y/n what the hell?!” wait- you knew that voice. You look behind yourself and saw Lorenzo.

you let out a small laugh “Enzo! i’m sorry! You scared me. Real funny by the way” you chuckle. “I need to talk to you about something” he speaks seriously, which catches you off guard. “Okay? Sure” you shrug your shoulders nonchalantly.

his eyes wander your body a little to long as he gulps. Strange. “We’ve been friends a long time Y/n” he starts, stepping forward towards you. You nod with a small smile “Of course we have silly” he cracks a smile. “and i know everything about you and vise versa”

another step forward. You back up a bit. “Uh huh?” you say, a little unsure about where this conversation was going. He seemed to be at loss of words for a moment. Before you could say anything else he had pinned you against the bathroom wall.

your eyes widened in shock and you instantly went to push him away “Enzo?! What the fuck!? Get off of me!” you shout, using your hands to shove his chest, but he was way stronger than you. His hand went to your thigh, running it over the stockings “You’re so beautiful Y/n” he whispered into your ear.

a terrible feeling churned in your stomach. You felt sick. Why was he doing this? “Let me go!” you protest, tears forming in the corner of your eyes. His hand gets dangerously close to your- yeah. “Why can’t you love me the way you love-” “DRACO!” you shout, his eyes go wide.

not even a slip second later your Slytherin boyfriend busts through the door. His eyes scan the sight and he looks furious “Get the bloody hell off my girlfriend you sick fuck!” venom laced with each word. While Enzo is distracted you duck under his arm.

Enzo pulls out his wand and points it at Draco “Crucio!” he yells. Draco dodges the spell and rushes over to you “Are you alright?” he asked, grabbing your hand. You nod, which relieves him in some way. “You don’t deserve her! I’ve known her longer!” Enzo shouts Crucio again.

Draco went to reach for his wand, but it’s too late. You drop to the floor, letting out a blood curdling scream. One that makes his heart tug harshly. “Y/n!” he drops to the floor as your body spasmed violently. Enzo dropped his wand and went to walk over to you.

before Enzo could take another step Draco protectively grabs your body and pulls you closer to him by your waist “Stay the fuck away you piece of fucking shit! Never show your face to me or Y/n again i will end you! Remember this, your only alive because your her friend! Now fucking go!”

your friend looked hurt by his words, but Draco was right in every word he said. Enzo collected his wand and left the bathroom. The pain had started to subside, but small whines and whimpers left your mouth, body shivering. He held your held close to his chest.

“Fuck. i’m so sorry darling. I promise the pain will go away just breathe” he tries to give you a reassuring smile, but tears spilled out instead. “Shit” he cursed and scooped your body in his arms. He stands up and makes his way out the bathroom.

♡~🐍~♡

he walked out, gazing at your face. It was tear stained and your eyes were shut tightly. “Malfoy?” his head snapped to the direction of the voice. Great the golden trio. Just peachy. “Piss o..off” he hissed like second nature, but his voice was cracked and hoarse. Harry looked irritated by his choice of words.

“What’s happened to Y/n? Why is she shivering?” Hermione spoke up, pushing past the two Gryffindor boys in front of her. Draco looked away from her and at your face. His brain couldn’t function at the moment, unable to form words. “Draco? What. Happened?”

Hermione spoke in a calm tone. She could clearly tell Draco was distressed, which was the cause of his silence. He sniffles before answering “C..Cruciatus curse. I..i was to slow..” he started to sputter. Hermione nods, smiling lightly “We need to bring her to the hospital wing. Okay?”

Draco looked back and forth between both girls before nodding “O..Okay.” he repeats. Ron and Harry were confused as all hell about what was going on, but followed Hermione as she led Draco to the hospital wing where you could be treated.

♡~🐍~♡

your eyes slowly opened. You saw white all around you. Where the hell were you at right now? As your eyes adjusted, the room started to look familiar. The hospital wing. “Madam pomfrey?” you spoke, expecting her to be near enough to hear. “Love?” that was not a woman's voice.

you turn your head slowly to the left and see a very disheveled Draco Malfoy sitting in a chair next to the bed you were occupying. “A small smile forms on your face “Draco? You look terrible” he laughs quietly, grabbing your hand “I know. It’s been a rough day”

you nod slowly, the memories of the previous events flooding your head like a harsh tidal wave. Enzo. He had betrayed you in the worst way possible. “It has. I’m sorry i worried you so much” a pout replaced your smile. He shakes his head “No, dont say sorry. It’s that bastards fault. He hurt you”

“What happened to Enzo by the way? Is he in trouble?” you asked. Even if he did hurt you, he was still somebody important to you. “Granger ended up reporting him to Dumbledore on her own accord. He was expelled two hours later.” you looked slightly confused.

“Hermione? Since when were you friendly with a Gryffindor” you asked. He rolls his eyes with a small grin “Oh yes. Potter and Weasley as well. I was a bit out of sorts when they found me with you so they guided me here. Helped me” he explained, his eyes averting to your hand in his.

“I’ll have to thank them later then” You say, a crash is heard outside the door “No need!” Hermione yelled through the door. You chuckled as Draco narrowed his eyes “Get away from the door! Come back later!” he shouts. Shuffling was heard and a array of footsteps running away.

“Come back later? Is this friendship i smell?” you say with a smug smile. He rolls his grey eyes as he plants a quick kiss on your lips “Maybe” he spoke, making you smile brightly.

“I heard a maybe!”

“Ron!”

♡~🐍~♡

Kody: Boom done. Had to add a bit of funny hunny at the end. My scoliosis is kicking in so in fear that my spine is going to turn into a wet noodle. Drink some water, eat some food, touch some grass. yeah i see you reading smut. Anyways, peace.

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uhhhhforgetaboutit · 3 years

Text

Heyyy, so I made picrews of my re8 ocs. Here we have Elaine Dogwood Giannatacio (usually just goes by Elaine Dogwood since some people [cough Heisenberg and Angie cough] cannot pronounce her last name) and Isabel Sato.

Elaine is 5'11 and rather gangly. She kinda stands there like 🧍‍♀️ most the time lmao. Her voice is deeper and smooth, but with just enough rasp to be *chefs kiss* perfect.

Isabel is 5'3 and just small. Not in a super-short-oompa-loompa way, but just a petite way. Her voice is really soft and sweet. The kind of voice you could fall asleep to. Also she can sing! She's not like American Idol or anything but she has a good voice.

Anyway, let us start with Elaine shall we?

Elaine is a very deadpan person with a quick wit and a subtle sense of humor. She likes to keep her emotions under lock and key for the most part. She fears people won't tolerate her if she spills all her negative emotions, so she tends to keep them bottled up. However, she is not a cold or unkind person. Quite the opposite actually, she loves to help people and animals (animals!!!).

Now, about her "powers" (cadou induced abilities) They consist of extreme persuasion/compulsion. By making eye contact with her red eye she is able to compel basically anyone to do anything. Now, Elaine usually wears an eye patch over her red eye because she worries she may accidentally compel someone. However, she does use her ability if she feels lazy or angry and can regret her choices later on. She also compels animals into being her pets because she is lonely.

Now, on to Isabel!

Sweet little Isabel is simply a small town girl who ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. She wanted to strike out on her own and make a life for herself, but ended up being kidnapped by Daniela. So now she finds herself working as a maid in the Dimitrescu castle. It's not all bad, Alcina treats her employees considerably well. For the most part.

Now, the girls are awfully fond of Isabel because of her inherently sweet nature. Of course Isabel is terrified of the girls, but she doesn't let them know that. She is kind to them, even when they are covered in blood and a bit manic. She makes sure they're warm and happy, and they love that. Of course it's literally Isabel's job but if she was being honest, she'd probably help then anyway. Even though the girls are bloodthirsty and a bit sadistic, Isabel couldn't help but see their personalities underneath. She had grown to love them for themselves, rather than fear them for their violent side.

⚠️Trigger warning⚠️

Depression, anxiety, mentions of suicide and self harm

Now, Isabel is just a kind and happy girl, but she does have her own hidden issues. She had a history of anxiety and depression before getting captured by Daniela, but now that she lives in the castle it's amplified. Her hands tremor regularly as she works form the amount of anxiety roiling around in her small body. At night she lays awake crying silent tears as she remembers the taste of fresh air and the feeling of sun on her skin. Sometimes she feels as though she no longer remembers what happiness feels like. At one point her thoughts turned to offing herself for some type of relief, but she grew scared and steered away from that thought. Instead she settled for cutting her wrists. She felt relief from being in control of her pain, unlike her time in the dungeons with Cassandra.

End of trigger warning

Uhh, now this is basically just a fic of Elaine and Isabel meeting for the first time lmao

Isabel and Elaine met when Elaine came to visit Alcina and the girls. Isabel had been one of the maids to serve dinner, and she cought Elaine's eye. Elaine was very aware of how the girls "played" with the maids, and though she didn't exactly agree with it, she couldn't really blame them either. They needed blood to survive, after all. However, she noticed the faint tremble in Isabel's hands as she set a plate down in front of her. She also caught sight of a single cut on Isabel's wrist as her sleeve rode up, but it was enough for her. 'Poor thing, she's not doing well here.' Elaine thought. Now, of course most of the maids dont do particularly 'well', in the castle, but Isabel was different. Most maids were hurried and spurred on by fear and resentment. Isabel... Isabel smiled, a genuine smile. Isabel had gentle hands as she worked, she worked with care.

So after dinner was finished and Isabel reached for Elaine's now empty plate to take it to be cleaned, Elaine gently grabbed her sleeve between two fingers. Isabel froze, pale blue eyes snapping to Elaine's in surprise mingled with fear. Alcina perked up at the interaction. It was rare that Elaine payed any mind to the maids.

"What is your name, darling?" Elaine asked softly. Isabel hesitated, seeming confused by the entire situation.

"My- my name is Isabel, my lady." Isabel responded in her soft, silky voice. Elaine smiled gently at the girl, examining her face closely. She was very attractive, Elaine mentally acknowledged as she turned her attention to Alcina.

"I've noticed Isabel here has been quite attentive all night, a very good maid indeed. I was wondering if I may take her home with me." Elaine proposed, trying not to let on how much she wanted to whisk this poor girl away from the castle. Alcina grinned wolfishly as she tilted her head downward slightly.

"Oh? You wish to take her home with you?" Alcina echoed in a suggestive tone. Elaine refrained from rolling her eyes and simply smiled thinly.

"Yes, that is what I said." Elaine replied, the hand gripping Isabel's sleeve moving to cup her elbow instead. Her fingers curled around Isabel's arm in a possessive manner as she maintained eye contact with Alcina. Alcina narrowed her eyes for a moment before chuckling lowly.

"Alright, you can have her. Consider it an early birthday present." Alcina said with a grin, and Elaine nodded in response, turning her gaze to Isabel, who looked rather taken aback by the whole ordeal.

"Go gather your things, we'll be leaving shortly." Elaine murmured softly, rubbing Isabel's arm before releasing her. Isabel stayed rooted to the spot before curtsying and hurrying away.

Once Isabel had finished packing and Elaine said her goodbyes the two soon found themselves sitting across from eachother in Elaine's personal carriage. Isabel kept fidgeting in her seat nervously and Elaine sat in an awkward silence. Out of habit she fiddled with her eye patch and saw Isabel tense. Realization dawned on Elaine like icewater being dumped on her head. 'The poor girl probably thinks I'm going to compel her into having sex with me.' She thought guiltily as she lowered her hand to her lap. She cleared her throat.

"When we get to my estate I shall show you to your chambers and leave you to get settled in. If you need anything you can find me and ask, I'm usually awake at most hours. When I do sleep I sleep light, so don't worry about waking me. I also must warn you about Marcello. He's my raven, and he likes to be a pest most of the time. If he bothers you just shoo him away." Elaine explained, watching Isabel closely. The blond seemed to relax the smallest bit before nodding.

"Yes my lady. Thank you." She murmured softly, and Elaine swore her heart melted at the sound of her voice.

"You may also call me Elaine. I'm not one for titles. Marcello on the other hand, you might need to watch out for." Elaine deadpanned with an eyeroll. Isabel covered a giggle with her hand and Elaine's ego inflated itself at the sound.

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Elaine." Isabel replied with a soft smile, glancing up at Elaine through her bangs. That was the moment Elaine swore to herself that she'd do anything to see Isabel smile that way.

Suddenly, the carriage came to a halt and Elaine quickly got to her feet. She stepped out into the crisp night air before turning to offer her hand to Isabel. In the dim light she could have sworn she saw Isabel blush as she took Elaine's outstretched hand.

"Well here we are." Elaine announced, gesturing to the dark mansion before the two of them. Isabel stared in wonder at the sheer size of the place. She wondered if Elaine truly lived by herself here. 'If she does it must be rather lonely.' Isabel thought, glancing at the taller woman in sympathy. She was surprised to see Elaine already looking at her. They exchanged awkward smiles before walking up to the mansion together. Little did they know how pivotal that moment was.

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #re8 #resident evil oc #re8 oc #original character #daniela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #5th lord oc #maid oc

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sailorshadzter · 3 years

Note

Prompt: Joffrey reveals himself to be a monster to her towards the start of the stay at Winterfell .Knowing that her parents cant reject the match between herself and the Crown Prince without repercussions,she stages a kidnapping and slips herself into the group heading to the Wall. Maybe she cuts off her hair/dyes her hair/steals some of Brans clothes.Kinda like a Mulan AU I guess?

OOOOOH WOW

this is one of those asks that i have to scroll for a minute to get to!!! but i got to it!!! IM SORRY ITS TAKEN ME SO VERY LONG but inspiration strikes when it strikes. anyways, i might come out with a part 2 / dont tempt me to make this into another au i never finish but man the idea is GOOD.

anyways

i hope it was worth the wait.

As the night begins to dawn, Sansa Stark finds it hard to keep both feet on the ground.

She's lovestruck, falling hard for the golden haired Baratheon prince that's been put before her. With his charming good looks and regal posture, he's enough to make any maiden's heart flutter. In truth, even now with Joffrey and his parents, the King and Queen of the Iron Throne there in her own home, she's finding it hard to believe that she, she, of all people, will be the one to marry the prince. That someday she might be a queen as beautiful as his mother, Cersei Lannister, who smiles so sweetly whenever they meet, who speaks so tenderly, who upon after the betrothal was made official, calls her daughter, as if she so truly were.

"Come my lady, let us take one last walk." It's Joffrey now, bending over his arm in a bow as he approaches where she sits among the other young ladies of Winterfell. They erupt in giggles around her as she blushes to the roots of her hair but nods all the same, reaching out her hand to take his, allowing him to help her up onto her feet. Though she glances towards her mother, who sits engaged in conversation with her father and the King himself, Joffrey tugs on her hand and she can do nothing else besides follow after him. She knows it's inappropriate for her and the prince to sneak off alone like this, but she can't help but to excitedly wonder if he means only to steal her away for a private kiss. Besides, they are to be married in only a few short weeks, so what harm would it do?

They walk together out into the moonlit night, a surprising chill to the air that sends a shiver down her spine. If Joffrey notices, he does not speak on it, rather he continues to lead her through the courtyard where only a handful of guards and nobility mingle. It was astonishing just how many people came along with the King and his family and Sansa isn't certain there would ever be a way to remember all of their names. Along the back, they step into the gardens, the darkening sky pierced by the soft white light of the moon. "I will miss the moonlight of the North," she says as they fall to a stop before the brimming fountain, her lips curving with a smile. "But I suppose I will love it all the more whenever we return."

At her words, Joffrey turns, his expression not one she's seen before. It's not confusion, but rather, it looks like anger. No, it is something far beyond anger, and it frightens her down to her very core. Startled, Sansa begins to stammer an apology, but Joffrey silences her with a wave of his hand. "Return?" He scoffs, looking from her back towards Winterfell and back again. "We'll not be returning here once we leave," he goes on, shaking his head with a scathing sort of laugh that is far more chilling than the wind had been.

"Y-your pardon, I only meant... When we visit..."

"Did you not hear me, my lady... Once we leave here in two days, we shall not be returning. Not you and certainly not me. You will be my queen and you will stay South, where you belong." A strange feeling is creeping up within her; it's cold, it's deep, and it's so very dark. There is something about the way Joffrey says this that she knows it to be true. She realizes then, quite suddenly, that if she leaves with him as intended, she will never again return to Winterfell. She swallows. This isn't right, she thinks, he musn't mean it.

"I know the North is not entirely to your pleasure, but it is my home... I can't imagine never returning," she smiles, hoping her easy going tone is not lost to the shaking of her voice. "You may even grow to enjoy it here, if you give it a chance..." To her horror, Joffrey's hands shoot up and for a single instance, she thinks he means to strike her, but rather he takes hold of her by the upper arms, his grip like a vice. "M-my lord, you're h-hurting me," she whimpers, staring up into Joffrey's blazing eyes.

He leans in close to her, as close as he might have done for the kiss she had once hoped he'd bestow upon her, and breathes a simple reply. "Bid your home farewell, sweetheart, for we ride south in the morning." His grip lessens and then, he lets go entirely, taking a single step back from where she stands. The morning? She thinks, these words sinking in, realizing now that though she'd been told it would be another day before leaving... Evidently, someone had decided that there was no need to stay another night and no one had chosen to tell her. She wonders if this is cruelty on Joffrey's part or kindness of her parents, hoping to spare her the pain of knowing it was her last night home. Either way, it matters not, because she knows there's no way she can go South.

Not ever.

[ x x x ]

As she lays in bed, Sansa can do little else but stare at the ceiling above her bed and wish to be someone else. If she were anybody else, she would not be marrying the prince, and she would not be leaving home. Sansa had tried to explain her feelings to her mother, who had merely laughed and said it was nervous jitters. I had them, too, before I married your father, Cat Stark had said as she brushed out her daughter's hair for bed one last time. The next time she brushed this head of hair, it would be for her wedding day. The longer she spent with her mother that evening, the more Sansa realized she could not simply back out of this wedding. Sansa was not a stupid girl, though Arya might have argued differently, and she knew of the trouble brewing between the families. Between the kingdoms. She's overheard enough whispers and listened to enough speculation between her brothers to know that war was a very real possibility- some said only the good friendship between the Baratheon king and their father was what kept them safe. Sansa also knows, even just from the words spoken during their betrothal, that her marriage with Joffrey solidified the peace between them.

And yet...

The longer she thinks about it, the more she knows that despite it all, she cannot ride South. She knows of the stories, the ones of what happens to Stark men that go to King's Landing... What was stopping something terrible from happening to her as well? There had to be a way, there just had to be a way to free her from this wedding and ultimately, the prison King's Landing was certain to be.

It's just as she's resigning herself to her misery that something comes to her.

One of the stories she had read as a young girl, a story of a princess taken in the dead of night by an evil lord. Said princess was to be rescued by her true love, a shining knight of virtue that rides in on his white horse. And more is coming- it's not just her that is to leave on the morrow- but Jon, as well. Jon, her bastard brother, was being sent to the wall to join the Knight's Watch. He certainly would not be her knight, but if she could somehow slip in among him and the others heading out... Yes, it might possibly work.

But if it's going to work, she must work fast, as she knows the men are set to leave before morning light. And so she leaps from her bed and pulls on her dressing robe. It is late into the night, hours still from the morning call, but there is always the fear of a guard or even her father discovering her out of bed at such an hour. But she says a silent prayer to the Old Gods and then tiptoes from her room.

[ x x x ]

When the morning call comes, she's already gone, a single note hastily scratched in writing she hopes looks entirely unlike her own penmanship.

She's been gone well over an hour by then, for just as she had planned, she manages to slip away among those leaving for the Knight's Watch. With an old cloak draped over her shoulders, she keeps the hood up, shielding from those around her the red hair she's so well known for. Before leaving, she managed to snag some old breeches and shirt from the laundry, and she's braided her hair and tucked it up as much as she could. Luckily for her, she's mostly ignored by the other men, aside from one man who growls at her when she bumps into him halfway into the morning that first day.

The group walks for hours; far longer than she's certainly ever walked at one time. She's tired and she's hungry and she hurts in places she's never hurt before. But, there is a strange sense of warmth comes over her as she settles into a place of her own, away from the others, nearer to the river that runs through the forest. With no knowledge of how to build a fire, Sansa is thankful for the warmth of the summer night and hungry as she is, realizes she's far more tired than anything else. After a sleepless night and endless walking, she will forgo food if only it means she can sleep.

And so she wanders closer to the water's edge, where there beneath the canopy of darkness, she finally lowers her hood.

From where he watches, Jon finds himself intrigued by what he sees.

He can't really say what draws him to follow the hooded figure out to the river beyond simple curioisity. But now as he watches, he sees hands pulling what certainly must be pins from hair and to his shock, long hair comes tumbling down. Now he's really curious.

And just then, a cloud above them shifts and the moonlight illuminates her.

The red hair is vibrant, the pale moonlight weaving between the strands like ribbons. He's stunned, but his foot snaps a twig all the same. When she whips around, it's steel blue eyes he finds himself staring into and Jon wonders, despite sixteen years beneath the same roof as her, he's never noticed that look within her eyes. "Sansa..." Her name is on his lips before he can stop it and he realizes now that she is quite like a deer in the crosshairs, a creature torn between fight and flight.

She can't believe this.

Her fleeting sense of safety has fled, vanished into the night the moment those Stark gray eyes settled upon her. Of course, she can't now understand how she ever expected to avoid Jon forever, but she had hoped to at least be further out than this when they did meet. "Jon," she greets, taking a step away from the river and closer to where he stands. The moonlight is bright and it illuminates Jon in a way that makes her blink, makes her think. "Please..." It's the only plea she can offer, the only words that in this moment, seem right to say.

Jon studies her for a long moment; all things considered, she must have had a good reason to come. Sansa Stark wasn't the type to just... Throw it all away without a reason. Her dream of marriage to a prince was to come true, after all. Her golden haired Prince Joffrey had arrived in Winterfell only days before; a smug, ugly sort of kid that had grown tall, taller than even Robb, but one that had stolen Sansa's heart all the same. Jon wonders what could have made her do what she'd done. "I won't," he promises suddenly, earnestly.

Her face relaxes, she smiles.

She feels safe once again and it is far warmer than it was before.

#jonsa #actuallyjonsa #ask box prompts #i really could write more for this #my writing

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6kuros · 4 years

Text

me: hmmm today i will post a short snippet of a thing i wrote and never finished but is decent on its own. post hlvrai benry coomer gordon interaction or someting.....i dont ever think ive shared my hlvrai writings before so enjoy.......

word count: 1240

benrey came to know the times when the sun disappeared as nighttime. night was when people were supposed to sleep. which was why every time gordon had laid down on the rigid pavement of black mesa, and instructed the others to go to sleep before he turned off the game, he closed off with a "good night", one directed towards each member of the party-- with the exception of benrey, whose presence with the team was inconsistent.

"Sleeping is almost like recharging a H.E.V. suit-- except you're the suit, and your bed is a charging station," doctor coomer explained with his ever-cheery tone. benrey didn’t really understand that either. he generally did not understand doctor coomer and did not care to try.

benrey didn't have a bed, which didn't end up mattering much because the first two days and nights at gordon’s house, he never slept. after being shown the tv and its game console, as well as around the house, he found ways to keep himself entertained. he liked the grainy blue of the tv screen when everything else was dark. no better time of day existed for him to sit an inch away from the tv as the bright fuzzy static poured into his eyes.

gordon slept the most. sometimes from the late evening until when the sun was past the middle of the sky the next day. tommy also slept this late sometimes, but he went to bed hours later than gordon. bubby and darnold's sleeping schedules were closest to gordon's, with a few hours shaved off before midday.

the third day, benrey found himself passed out on the couch. he woke up feeling something unfamiliar. he decided he did not like the feeling; it was sort of like when he was bored, but all over his body instead of his mind, and at the same time his body hurt. the kitchen was bustling and the sun was bright at the time of this awakening.

benrey slept earlier that evening, and ended up awake around 2 am. sleep was bullshit, he concluded, opting to sleep only when he felt like it. this was usually until he stayed up to a point of exhaustion and his body insisted that he get some fucking rest.

on his fifth or sixth day outside of the game-- he was starting to lose count --he wandered upstairs during the middle of the night. benrey spent most of his waking hours on the lower level, but boredom was typically right around the corner.

he was creeping down the narrow hallway when he was lured to gordon’s bedroom. he froze in place, a few feet away from the stair banister. muffled thunking and what gordon sounded like when he was panicking echoed through the walls. benrey traced the sounds to the room benrey had entered the house through-- gordon’s bedroom. a pathetic little light just barely shone from the door crack.

the noises got louder as benrey clutched the doorknob turned it to open the door. the light was the bedroom closet, its door wide open, illuminating the room enough so that benry could see gordon. gordon was in bed, his wailing achingly loud now. he thrashed and jerked in the sheets.

"No," benrey caught some of gordon's desperate mutterings. "No, no, why-- they-- no-- Benrey!"

"what?" benrey said.

then benrey realized gordon was asleep. he was moving and talking in his sleep.

gordon screamed and benrey jumped a little. it was odd that gordon stayed in bed so much, if even then he could hardly get a moment's peace.

gordon groaned. he wasn't thrashing around anymore. he held himself up with the arm he had, and trembled, head drooping at his pillows. he gasped and cried softly.

not sure if gordon was still entirely asleep or not, benrey began low at first; the equivalent to a hum. blue orbs were sent and concentrated just a little past his mouth.

gordon’s body still shook. benrey came a few steps closer, so that the sweet voice would hover near gordon's head. benrey couldn't see his face, but it was reassuring to that see gordon quietly lay down. benrey kept singing, changing inflection only occasionally in order to attain a simple tune. he didn't stop until gordon's back was rising and falling rhythmically.

be observed gordon. his shape was sloping and gentle, exposed by blankets tossed aside. only when the glowing blue orbs evaporated into nothing, did benrey leave.

he backed out of the room slowly.

“Hello, Benrey.”

benrey whirled around. doctor coomer stood in front of benrey with his arms behind his back. his facial expression was inscrutible in the dark.

"I saw you in there. No ulterior motives, I hope?" doctor coomer chuckled. they stood in the silent darkness for an elongated moment.

coomer’s mouth opened with a sigh, "You've caused quite some harm to Mr. Freeman you know? It's going to take some time for all of us to get used to you being here. Especially Gordon… I haven't the slightest idea why he brought you back. When he was just beginning to get better."

"Perhaps it's selfish for me to care about Mr. Freeman because of what he did for us. When I realized what I was… what I was a part of … it pained me to think that the relationship Gordon and I had might have been artificial all along. And that when he finished the game there would be… nothing."

benrey pursed his lips and waited for doctor coomer to get to the point. he didn’t really like listening to coomer berate him with flowery wordiness.

the doctor broke his intense gaze when he had said this, looking forlorn and to the side. then he looked back at benrey. "However, Mr. Freeman proved it was more than that. He treats me as if I'm real. And he brought us out of the game. I'd like to believe it was because he cared deeply about each and every one of us… but… he brought you back too."

silence suffocated the hallway. another new feeling spawned within him. in his stomach, something creeping and underlying that made him squirm.

"Looking back on it, Gordon and I had some wonderful memories together. But I've also realized a lot of his experience was far from pleasant. And Gordon doesn't need to be reminded of it anymore than he already is."

doctor coomer tilted his head up to meet benrey's height.

"You should know that I'm not the only one who wouldn't hesitate to get rid of you if any harm were to come to Mr. Freeman."

benrey’s throat went dry. he tried to move past doctor coomer but a few steps down the stairs and there was a hand tightening around his forearm.

“Do you understand that, Benrey?” doctor coomer whispered. he squeezed tighter and benrey couldn’t tug himself free.

“yes,” said benry. his feet were teetering on the edge of a step as he twisted and pulled. “let go of me."

he stumbled a few steps down the stairs when coomer released him. he didn't look back at coomer until he made it to the bottom of the stairs, past the corner that led to the kitchen. his breath was lodged in his throat. coomer faced gordon's door with his arms neatly folded behind him once more. over and over coomer's tellings echoed in benrey's mind as he slinked away.

#writing #fanfiction #hlvrai fanfic #gordon feetman #benry #benrey #dr coomer #coomer #idk what to tag this as #frenrey #vaguely?

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fluffybunnyartist · 4 years

Note

Hey!! Again I can't get enough!! I really appreciate you putting Actually time and effort into our asks! My ask! Can we get a Michael Myers (other SLASHERS) as a meaner more scary yandere?? Like just a more realistic darker version of them with a cute innocent S/O NSFW IF YOU WANT!! AGAIN NO RUSG

Hell ya!! NSFW: Blood, gore, implied sex and noncon.

MICHAEL MYERS

Whatever you did to catch this man's attention you're either one lucky bastard or one unfortunate SOB. Hes extremely possessive and in the first day of him showing you your his you'll be covered in hickies.

You can kick and scream all you want. He has you in his clutches and he needs you. You better learn how to behave. He doesnt like hurting you but will if you dont act nicely.

Friends? Murdered. Family? Pushed away. Any boyfriend/girlfriend? Killed 3 days ago. No one is allowed near you unless you're working or buying groceries. He does know when to let it go.

God forbid anyone flirt or bully you. They're tortured and killed. Only he can do that. Speaking of which his idea of flirting is stealing or murdering people for what he needs for you. That rich family down the street? Murdered and you got some nice shiny jewelry covered in blood.

Now he will wait for consent to fuck you. Hes not a complete monster and you're the only one he loves. But he will grope you, rub up against you and mark you however he pleases. When he kisses you he doesnt expect you to kiss back. Just sit back and take it. Hes still a dom but hes a bit cold. You talked to a cashier for too long and hes left you naked tied to the bed with a vibrator in for an hour.

All in all you're his little doll and hes never loved anyone like you. Just let me play with you Y/N, you'll enjoy it I promise.

JASON VOORHEES

He'd tear anyone to shreds to get to you. You remind him a bit of his mother, so sweet and kind and he wants you. He needs you. So everyone else is slaughter with blood and guts sprayed across the cabin and campgrounds as he carries you to his place.

He ties you up to a bed and a chair during the day so you can sleep at night. Hes very kind, despite slaughtering your friends. He'll treat you like a delicate bird or baby deer. Petting you softly and feeding you from his own plate.

Stay in Pamela's good graces. Mainly be nice to her boy! Dont do drugs and no escaping! If you try he wants hurt you. He'll put you into a timeout. Do it too many times and he'll bend you over his knee and spank you li km e a naughty child. So you're not in much danger.

He's very sweet to you once you get to know him but like Michael he refuses to let anyone come over or near you. He'll chase everyone away. You dont need them, Y/N! All you need is me. He loves to cuddle you. Sweet little pets and even kisses.

Hes more likely to take off the mask if you've earned his trust or promise kisses. Then he'll stay unmasked around you. But only you! He doesnt really make you work but he does appreciate if you clean house a bit.

He always makes sure to have consent before touching you any where other than your hair. He doesnt wanna upset you.

THOMAS HEWITT

Something about you caught his eye. And now here you are at dinner. With your dead friends seated on one side and the large man wearing you best friends face on the other.

Be kind. Dont insult them or itll lead to you being punished. Thomas already made clear that he wants you and he wants you alive so they wouldn't risk killing you but being forced to do hard labor and chopping your friends up for dinner isnt killing you.

He'll spoon feed you the stew made of people. And at dinner you're tied down until further notice. After that you'll be tied to Thomas's bed. He'll feel up on you and touch you no matter how much you squirm. He just cant believe a beautiful creature such as yourself is in his bed. Laying with him!

He likes to cuddle you a lot and he'll grind on you and hump you a ton. Hes never had a sexual outlet before so it's a common occurrence when he just masturbates over your naked body. He loves seeing the look on your face as he cums all over you.

He may actually fuck you without your consent. You're his right? His to take? And he loves you so much. He promises to make you feel good. Just let him in.

BUBBA SAWYER

The fact that you survived one dinner is enough for Bubba to make you his. He'll give you plenty of kisses straight off the bat. He makes sure you're fed and bathed. Usually you're tied up for these.

He doesnt talk so it hard to understand him but he likes to cuddle with you. Sometimes if you cut yourself or get cut he'll lap up the blood and sometimes he likes to bite you.

He can and will kill and eat your friends. If you try to run away or escape you leg or legs may be butchered or mutilated courtesy of Drayton telling Bubba that he needs to so you dont run away again.

Now he'll probably fuck you while you sleep or are so tired you dont know what's going on. He's not so great on consent but that's bc if his upbringing and not out of malice or need to prove your his.

Probably one of the more innocent ones and the only reason he harms you or does freaky shit is bc of his brothers. He likes to make you jewelry out of body parts or steal some from victims.

He'll have Drayton marry you too so you both can have kids together! And he wants lots of kids! He's so happy he found you!

BO SINCLAIR

You're tied up in the chair until you can behave yourself. You get bathroom breaks but only he can take you and hes right inside with you. He'll face the other way he just doesn't want you escaping.

He'll gag you if you keep making noise. He wont glue your lips together bc what if he scars them? You're his perfect little doll. He doesnt want you too injured. So stop struggling in those bindings Y/N. It wont help.

Within the first few days he'll be on top of you grinding and groping. Touching you wherever he can. He loves your body and he wants to make you feel good. Dont you wanna make him feel good too?

Hes aggressive though. He may love you but he wont hesitate to scream or yell at you if hes thinking you're acting like a bitch. Hell come back later being softer and kissing you.

He'll get you to marry him. How can you say no to him? He'll take care of you and your kids! Hes so excited to get his little nuclear family started! After the chair you'll be chained up in his room. Maybe he'll take you for a drive if your good. But hes another one to lock you down fully or cause it so you cant escape.

No he wont cut off your limbs! But maybe if you cant see the exit you wont be able to leave him. Remember even though he loves you he still gets off on your pain a bit.

VINCENT SINCLAIR

More or less Bo thought you'd be good for him and he locked you in the studio where Vincent spends all his time. At first he doesnt know what to do. He leaves you food and water and let's you use the restroom but ues not sure.... but you are really pretty.

Awkward cuddling. Usually when you're asleep he'll nuzzle up to you gently. He doesnt wanna wake you but he wants to be close to you. He'll start drawing you and soon he'll be enamoured with you.

During the day hes polite and kind and offers you things to keep yourself occupied. But at night he let's his fingers and lips wander wherever he wants. Usually you tire yourself out by crying or trying you escape. So you're really conked out by the time he starts to touch you.

He wont mutilate you if you try to escape no. He'll cripple you. He can just carry you where you need to go. He can help you with whatever you want! He can bring you food and water! You can have everything you've ever wanted! But you have to stay here with him.

#bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #bubba saywer x reader #bubba sawyer #michael myers x reader #michael myers #jason vorhees x reader #jason voorhees #jason vorhees imagine #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher

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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years

Text

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God,

#tw ableism/ / /#actuallyautistic #autism moms #autism parenting #tw unsanitary ment/ // /#tw abuse ment/ //

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trying-my-best · 4 years

Text

Scp 035 x reader part 10

You let out a depressed sigh, it's been about 27 hours since you last slept. You expected this to happen eventually. Back when you worked as a thief for hire you'd have 38 to 52 hour days.

You guessed the reason that you could sleep at the facility before was that they'd give you more to do. Although it wasn't at tiring as breaking and entering, it was as the only guess you had.

Bach was probably coming to wake you up soon. Giving up on sleep you got dressed and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. You remembered how Bach liked his black with a little sugar.

You heard the cell door slide open and heavy footsteps enter the cell. Bach walks past the kitchen and towards the bedroom. You follow behind him as he opens the bedroom door.

"Alright woman, time to get up." Bach shakes the bed, fully expecting you to rise up and yell at him for shaking the bed. You lean against the door frame casually and waited for him to notice you.

Five minutes pass and he's still yelling at the bed where he thinks you are. Getting bored, you sneak up behind him and give his shoulder a little tap. He jumps and turns around fast, gets startled, and falls down.

"(Y/N)! What are you doing awake?" Bach yells as you help him to his feet.

"I couldn't sleep, I'm still kinda used to 38 to 52 hour days. You remember me telling you about my old job." You turn to leave the room. "Come on, I made us coffee. "

Bach's eyes lit up at the mention of coffee. "You made me coffee? Black with sugar?" You nodded as you entered the kitchen. When you picked up the coffee to hand it to Bach, he swiped it out of your hands, almost spilling it.

You laughed at his excitement for coffee, you were pretty sure that this has to be his fifth cup today. Bach took a sip of his coffee and sighed happily.

"Oh yeah, Dr. Yapp wanted me to tell you to go to his office later and to give you this." Bach reached into his pocket and pulled out a key card. "This will get you around the facility, it'll only open up scp 035's and 049's cells, and it'll get you from light containment to heavy containment. "

"Why 049?"

Bach shrugged. "Well, you got along with him so well the duringone of the breaches. We thought you might want to visit him every now and then"

You took the card from his hand and inspected it. "So now I can leave my room at will?"

"Yep! Also, if you use this card to help any scp escape you will be demoted back to D-class and have all your current privileges revoked. So don't be dumb." Bach used an exaggerated tone for the last sentence.

You thanked Bach before heading towards the cell door to test it out. Approaching the cell door, you held the card to the door panel. It made a loud beep and the door opened. "Nice" you said to no one in particular. "Alright Bach, go start your rounds. I'm going to get ready for the day, then I'll head down to Yapp's office. "

Bach left and closed the door behind him as you walked back to your room. You noticed the plush cat 035 gave you sitting on the bed. You need to give it a name or something, you'll think of one eventually.

You picked out a nice, cute outfit before you went to the bathroom to shower.

*035's cell*

035 had their hands folded under their head as usual. Instead of the usual comedy mask, 035's face was tragedy. Their clearly bored with the normal interview the foundation was putting them through.

They had been promised a visit with (Y/N) and as far as they could tell, they didn't know when or if that was ever going to happen. So far the foundation seemed to only be interested in pestering 035 about their plans with (Y/N) instead of seeing how things unfold.

035 themselves didn't know what they wanted with (Y/N), still stuck between wanting to have them as a companion or having the experience of possessing (Y/N).

The interview had just ended and 035 couldn't be more disinterested. The foolish scientists talking amongst themselves in the observation room.

035 was becoming more impatient and angry. They didn't like not getting what that want. 035 stood up from their chair and walked up to the glass, startling the scientis. "When am I seeing (Y/N)?" 035 demanded with an authority to their voice.

"T-today, here in a c-couple hours. Dr. Yapp just needs to talk to h-her for a bit then she'll be here." One of the scientis squeaked out.

035 glared suspiciously at the scientis, not 100% believing them. 035 walked back to the table and sat down, still glaring daggers at the scientis.

*back to your cell*

Feeling refreshed and ready for the day, you gave the plush cat a pat and headed out the cell door. You waved to some scientis as you headed towards Dr. Yapp's office.

Dr. Yapp's office was located in light containment so it took you about 15 minutes to walk there, every now and then asking people for directions.

Eventually you made it to his office. You knocked gently on the door, you could hear shuffling inside the room as Dr. Yapp rushed to the door. The door swung open revealing the Doctor covered in paint and clutching a few paint tubes in his arms. You giggled at the sight.

"Don't laugh at me! Paint is surprisingly easy to spill everywhere." The doctor yelled.

You and Dr. Yapp spent the next hour and a half cleaning up paint. When it was properly cleaned up, Dr Yapp explained that he was planning on letting you and 035 paint today but the 05 council wanted full documentation of the experiment.

He explained that the 05 had never given scp 035 this much freedom and were sceptical about giving 035 what they want so easily. You wondered if you were still going to see 035 today or if you would be held from them longer.

"But! We made a compromise. You see, today we have more than usual staff so we would have more people to watch the two of you paint. Now 035 won't try to breach again. " Dr. Yapp exclaimed with a sigh of relief.

You smiled, happy that you'd be able to paint and see 035. Did 035 miss you? Or did 035 miss trying to figure out what you were and why they couldn't possess you. You had evidence that it could be ether or, and you were the type to take chances.

You and a couple other scientis helped Dr. Yapp carry the paint supplies to 035's containment cell. The supplies consisted of two easels, normal paint colors, pencils, and some paint brushes of different sizes.

When you all got to 035's cell, the guards standing outside the cell ordered 035 to stand away from everyone so we could set up.

"Why can't we let 035 help us?" You expressed your thoughts as you sat down one of the easels. The guard on your right grabbed you by the shoulder and aggressively threw you at 035, harming your shoulder in the process.

"If you like the damn thing so much why don't you marry it." The rude guard held his gun tightly, slightly pointing it at you and 035.

035 catches you and holds you up so you could steady yourself. You rubbed the bruising area trying to sooth the ache. 035 took notice of the pain painted on your face and your hand rubbing your shoulder.

You looked up at 035, their eyes were glowing a dark and glowing purple. You whispered to them that it wasn't worth their time and that it would only get themselves in more trouble than it's worth. 035 sighed in defeat and made sure that you were properly steadied before letting you go.

"So what's all this?" 035 moved to separate you from the others in the room. 035 switched to comedy once they were sure that the guards couldn't get to you easily.

"Oh! I convinced Dr. Yapp to let us paint and he convinced the O5 to get us the materials!" The scientis had finished setting everything up and had left the room, guards following behind them.

You moved in front of one of the easels, picked up a pencil, and began sketching your design on the canvas. 035 lingered in their spot, glaring at the scientis through the glass before walking up to the other easel.

As time went on, you had a pretty good sketch down. You noticed 035 glancing at you from time to time. Were they drawing you? You desided not to ask and just let it all unfold on it's own time.

After a few more minutes you were satisfied with the sketch and started picking out paint to use. Looking back over to 035, they were still hard at work sketching whatever they were going to paint.

You thought of earlier when 035 was about to confront the guard who threw you. Did 035 really care about you and your safety? Or were they mad that someone harmed someone that 035 thought belonged to them. Maybe even both.

After you had your paint set up, the pain in your shoulder came back. 035 noticed your sudden wince. You moved your arm around a bit to try and determine the damage, only making the pain a bit sharp for a few seconds.

"Is your shoulder hurt? I new I shouldn't have let that damn guard go." 035 mumbled the last part, making it hardly audible for you.

"Yeah, I can't tell how bad tho. Let's just keep painting, I'm still having fun!" You tried to reassure 035 so they wouldn't get an interview ban for attacking a guard.

035 let out a defeated sigh and picked their pencil back up. When you were almost halfway done painting your art, one of the scientis knocked on the glass. You looked at the scientist curiously, wondering what she wanted. Then you remembered Dr. Yapp telling you that a knock meant that you were out of time.

"Awww, you have to leave me alone already? We were having so much fun in each other's company." 035 wined at you and the scientis.

"Sorry 035, I don't make the rules. I'm sure they'll let us finish soon. Besides, your host is about to start falling apart. I dont think you can paint while you're falling apart."

You would admit that you were sad to leave 035, especially since you both weren't done with your paintings. You hugged 035 goodbye, while being careful as to not touch the black ooze, and left 035's cell. You waved to them through the glass as two guards escorted you out.

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1860 words, I did not expect myself to ever write that much

#scp #scp fandom #scp 035 #scp foundation #secure contain protect #scp x reader #scp 035 x reader

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