"Verbally, but not formally" = a professional told you that they think you have a particular mental illness, but nothing was formally written down, or no formal diagnosis was pursued.
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Heyyyy this is your daily reminder that mental health diagnoses do not exist separate and alone, miles from one another in a desert. Mental health diagnoses, conditions, and behaviors exist in an enormous and insanely complicated venn diagram of traits. Many mental health diagnoses share traits with many other mental health diagnoses. Some of them share more traits with one another than others. It's an enormous 5D (or more) spectrum of traits and behaviors, and diagnoses are just a way of gesturing toward a particular area of that spectrum for the purposes of understanding and treatment.
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i show almost every symptom of adhd, and i was so sure i had it, but my mom tells me she had me tested when i was 7 to see and “it was a negative”. i was so certain, but now i’m really discouraged and i feel like maybe i was just a lazy person all along. any advice?
Here's the thing..
The concept of laziness is bullshit. As a whole, but let me focus on adhders (pun unintended).
What is laziness? "Unwilling to do work".
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ADHDers (and other ND/ chronically ill folks) are often called lazy cause NTs see us as 'unwilling' to do work. A personal choice.
They are saying we don't care enough to do something.
But that's rarely the case.
Why would we not want to improve our lives? Who WANTS to struggle?
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The ADHD diagnosis process is bullshit, especially if you are afab. The diagnostic checklists focus on grades, and hyperactvity mostly.
Inattentive and internally hyperactive symptoms can be near identical to anxiety and depression. In fact, I was initially diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
And if you managed to do well in school, which ADHDers can do for a variety of reasons, well, you're kinda dismissed.
It took my sisters years to get a diagnosis. The only who took her seriously was a female psychiatrist. And mind, this was after years of counselling, and being on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds for years, and still struggling.
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So now back to the initial point.. is it laziness?
Well, you don't seem unwilling, but rather unable.
If you never cared enough to try, ie, unwilling, you wouldn't be feeling discouraged.
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Final point is this: if you relate to ADHD symptoms, you are obviously struggling.
Even if it's not ADHD, it doesn't mean it's nothing.
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Guys, anything else to add?
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Anon was tested recently, but masked too hard and was not diagnosed with autism. They're certain they got a false negative but redoing the test is too expensive. They're wondering if others have had similar outcomes.
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Hey, uhh, I'm 15 and I think I might have ADHD. It seems to match what I feel. My mom actually independently thought the same thing. It seems to fit. But my mom says that since I don't really need support or anything, I don't need to be officially diagnosed. It would be a lot of effort. I don't know if I I agree with her and I don't know what to do if I don't. I feel like I can't really say I have ADHD if I'm not officially diagnosed. I don't want to be one of those fakers who just want attention or those constantly self diagnosing kids. I also have been officially diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, so some symptoms might be from that. Thank you.
Sent February 22, 2024
Our official position on self-diagnosis is that it's fine to do so as long as you aren't trying to use it as an excuse to get out of taking responsibility for poor behaviour. There are so many reasons people may not be able to get a formal diagnosis, and a self-diagnosis doesn't qualify you for treatment anyway.
The main problem with your mom's attitude is that you're doing fine until you aren't. Speaking from personal experience, you may be able to mask and function quite well in school because of the external structure being imposed on your time, but all of that may fall apart when you're finished high school and have to figure it all out for yourself. Even if you don't need medication or accommodations now, you may want to access one or both in post-secondary, and you'll need a diagnosis on the books in order to do that. In addition, if you're an average student right now you may find that you become much better once your symptoms are better managed and accommodated. Never mind the strategies you could learn if you access ADHD coaching!
This post will take you through the process of self-diagnosis. If you go through it and conclude that yeah, you probably do have ADHD, make a list of all the practical ways your symptoms affect your life in negative ways, and talk to your mom about those. Tell her that, if nothing else, you would like to maybe see an ADHD coach (you usually don't need a formal diagnosis for that) to see if you can learn some effective strategies to help you with these things now, before you're thrust into the unstructured, disorganized world of post-secondary education.
After you've been seeing a coach for a while, you can revisit the possibility of getting a formal diagnosis. Your coach may have some thoughts about whether that will be beneficial, too.
For a coach, I recommend looking for someone who has been trained through iACT. The owner has ADHD herself and is a Nurse Practitioner as well as a Registered Nurse. If I were to train to be a coach, this is where I would register.
-J
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living in a society that’s so ableist is so wild because as someone questioning if they have aspd the ableism makes you wonder if you REALLY do because you’re just “too human”. like yeah, i see children hurt and i get uncomfortable, i see parents post pictures of their children and i worry. is it really true worry? who knows! point is, the idea that you’re inhuman for it is just drilled inside you so hard that anytime you show any sort of “humanity” you wonder if you are actually antisocial, even if you fit the criteria fine because the idea of being antisocial is boiled down to being evil and incapable of emotions; subhuman in a way. I hope that makes sense and resonates with anyone; been questioning for a while if we (system :)) could have aspd because ableism keeps making us believe a false idea of how it appears on people.
aspd-culture is
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Has anyone ever told you that you obsess too much over the most niche and pointless shit?
Stop ranting and do something else
Go get some bitches for fucks sake
cranky because no one will listen to you talk endlessly about the things you're passionate about arent you
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hey adhd tumblr. I have a question for you late diagnosed folks. did things get worse for you post-diagnosis? cause things are feeling way harder than it did before getting my diagnosis. and I think this is fucky.
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