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sepublic · 3 months

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The Immigrant and the Colonizer

There’s something fascinating to me about the juxtaposition of Luz as the immigrant, and Belos as the colonizer; The whole interplay of the outsider coming into a different world. The Wittebanes and Nocedas both came to Gravesfield, but the Wittebanes have the historical context of being part of a larger colonial movement that sought to exploit the Americas; By contrast, the Nocedas are of Dominican heritage, meaning somewhere along the way, they immigrated to the U.S.

So you have Philip participating in this colonization in order to be on the better end of the power dynamic, making the outsider status into one of oppression and dominance, and this naturally translates to how he interacts with the Boiling Isles and bastardized everything about it for his own ends. Conversely, you have the Nocedas, who given their backgrounds, are inevitably submitting themselves to the power structures that Philip was a part of and represents.

Which means with the Nocedas, it’s the outsiders who are the ‘mercy’ of the world they’ve traveled to, and they’re the ones who are pressured into assimilating into it, being measured by Gravesfield’s standards of what a proper citizen should be, etc. Camila hides parts of herself deemed 'undesirable' and even ironed her hair flat. If the Wittebanes came to dominate, the Nocedas were made to submit.

And this just ties into Luz maintaining her own identity and still holding onto that, as do Manny and Camila. The Nocedas ultimately understand that they can’t lose themselves to be a part of something, and I find that ties in nicely with the whole interplay of wanting to be your own person, but also wanting to participate, and balancing these two things; Otherwise you end up like Eda, who for a while was a lonely outcast, or Lilith, who conformed but at the cost of so much.

What’s also interesting is that Luz is afro-latina; Meaning she’s the descendant of those brought over as part of the colonization effort, whether they wanted to participate or not, and the natives indigenous to the Americas. So there’s Luz once again navigating two worlds as the immigrant and the native.

So amidst the Nocedas learning to maintain their identities in a foreign world, we also have Luz learning to engage with another one in the Boiling Isles, and this is where she differentiates from Philip; She does not become entitled to this world. She recognizes by the second episode that this world and its people do not exist to cater to her whims and fantasies; If she wants to really participate, Luz needs to put in the effort to actually engage with the Boiling Isles. And with Adventures in the Elements, Luz understands that it’s not just about engaging with the isles, but engaging with it on its own terms; She realizes she can find the glyphs in nature after learning to commune with it, in the form of the Titan. And nature will respond to Luz if she shows respect.

There’s a lot to be said about how Luz worries over whether she’ll be a ‘real witch’, and how this can parallel how immigrants in general can feel like outsiders who don’t really belong, who don’t actually partake in this local identity; There’s a parallel to real life about a white Puritan immigrating to another land, only to colonize and make it hostile to a future Latina immigrant, all while his own double standard is left unacknowledged by his government (“Go back to your world” as said by Lilith during her time in the Emperor’s Coven). But in the end, Luz manages to figure out witchhood on her own terms, while co-existing healthily with the Titan and the people around her.

And it’s not as if this quality of respecting the land and its people is inherent/unique to people of indigenous heritage, either; We have Caleb Wittebane, a white man who initially was a part of the colonization of the Americas. But as Caleb’s story proves, he is not doomed by ‘race’ or ‘genetics’, he can choose to learn and respect different worlds and people, unlike Philip, whose ravings on humanity needing to be saved from witches and demons boils down to bioessentialism. Caleb falls in love with Evelyn, he unlearns what he was taught, and he even becomes a part of this other culture by having a mixed child, from whom Eda and Lilith are descended from.

The Clawthornes are unambiguously witches and people of the isles, despite their human ancestry; Mixed race people are often accused of not really belonging to either race, which again connects to Luz and how she worries about being a real witch and not belonging in the Demon Realm, even as she struggles to fit into the human world, and of course her Afro-Latina identity. Because in the end, yes; These ‘outsiders’ CAN and should engage with other cultures, and even become a part of them.

In discussing colonization and appropriation, a lot of well-meaning people have fallen into the trap of acting as if there’s some inherently, morally wrong about white people, and just outsiders in general, engaging with a culture different from theirs; And this is just segregationist rhetoric, but reworded to sound progressive. Because discouraging people from connecting to and learning to understand those unlike them is actually a bad thing that contributes to prejudice. And that’s the importance of Luz and Caleb, with Caleb especially proving that white people have no excuse NOT to be respectful; In death, his pose mirrors that of the Titan’s, signifying him as someone who understood the spirit of the world.

Fascism and racism in general relies on the premise of Us VS Them; But with how Belos is the colonizer, it’d be easy to fall into the trap of saying that humanity and witches should be separate, period. But that just risks casting humanity, or even just white people, as separate and inherently different (and thus excuses a supposed inability to connect with Us). And yet you have Luz, who is also a human outsider like Belos, and while Belos causes no shortage of problems, Luz herself is a solution who changes so many people’s lives for the better; Outsiders have a lot to offer, actually!

And that just goes back to the key distinction between the immigrant and the colonizer, the one who imposes, and the one who assimilates. There’s the blurring of the distinction that is categories, and the questioning of the binary, as Luz CAN still maintain a connection to her human heritage and home, while becoming a part of the Boiling Isles. She doesn’t have to abandon one for the other.

Likewise, we don’t know much about Caleb’s process in acclimating to the isles, but it’s worth noting how he abdicates the power dynamic of the colonizer to become a part of something else. Maybe this is assimilation, but maybe it’s not, because Caleb is doing this on his own terms. And given his joyous reaction to Philip, and assumption that he was here on good terms? I think Caleb would’ve gladly maintained ties to his human heritage, if the humans he knew weren’t explicitly rejecting co-existence and making it impossible for him to do that.

But as Caleb himself, and finally the Nocedas prove, it’s not actually necessary to maintain this segregation just to maintain one’s own identity (Caleb doesn’t hide his ears). Even Caleb’s descendants in Eda and Lilith understand it; You can be a part of something and still be your own person. Luz can still make new connections and become part of a new world without having to renounce her heritage. These things aren’t inherently contradicting one another, it’s only the belief that they do. But you can choose to make things work and adapt, just as Caleb and especially Luz did.

Yeah, an outsider spelled doom for the isles, but an outsider was also the one who saved them. By principle, the isles should still be open to others, hence Gus facilitating contact with his exchange program. Gus is deeply fascinated by human culture, he gets to visit its world, but he also misses his dad and home and gets to go back to that two, and now he gets to make them both meet; So the reverse to this human outsider to a demonic world also applies here.

We have Gus, but also Luz’s other friends, who adapt to the human world; Eda also applies, as someone unaware that she is technically REconnecting with her human heritage when pursuing her trash collection. And of course we have Vee, who becomes a member of the Noceda family we've been talking about, as someone also an immigrant who had to blend in to survive, and suffering the consequences of xenophobia.

There’s also the Archivists and the Collector; The Archivists came in to control another world, converting it into scrolls under their possession, under the claim of preserving and protecting things. And part of their plan relied on using the Collector as an unwitting Trojan Horse to lower the guard of the native Titans. You have the Collector genuinely loving the Titans and forming bonds with them, only to be made complicit in invasion; And when the Titan retaliated, basically under the assumption that all outsiders like the Collector were evil, it led to more tragedy. And the Collector, for all their love of Titans, still had to learn to respect them and their agency, as well as everyone else’s in the Boiling Isles.

Sure, there’s a potential risk to letting others in, both on a personal level, and on a larger one like how the Boiling Isles –particularly the Titan herself- let in others, such as the Archivists, and later Philip Wittebane. I wonder if her regret over mistreating the Collector led to her giving Caleb, and then Philip, another chance; But even when Philip backfired, the Titan still kept enough of an open mind to let in Luz afterwards, showing a sincere repentance for how the Collector was treated. They’re clearly capable and willing to learn, it’s not inherent to their species to dominate, any more than it is for white people like Caleb or Hunter.

And that takes us back to Gus; It’s like how he realizes with Hunter’s help that even if people will take advantage of your kindness and hurt you, in the long run, that welcoming acceptance is better for the world. You’re obviously entitled to resistance and self-defense if repeatedly exploited and hurt, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always have to. Colonization/assimilation IS a thing but it’s not the inevitable result of cross-cultural interaction, you can and should let different things coexist.

#the owl house #luz noceda #caleb wittebane #gus porter #augustus porter #boiling isles titan #emperor belos #philip wittebane #meta #analysis #themes

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issysfantasyworldsblog · 28 days

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🔞 Rough Night 🔞

Toji Fushiguro x OC Character (afab)

Notes:

MDNI 🔞, smut, nipple play, Toji (warning enough), toxic Toji, squirting pussy, overstimulation, big dick energy, orgasm everywhere, breeding kink, not proofread;

tell me if i forget something;

Summary:

After a challenging day, Michiko chose to spend time with her friends. They rendezvoused at a bar. While there, Michiko crossed paths with a tall, muscular guy named Toji, who quickly swept her off her feet. They left the bar and headed to her place. During the journey, he playfully caressed her buttocks and kissed her neck, leaving Michiko feeling lightheaded and exhilarated. They finally reached her apartment.

Words: ~ 1.9k

———

With trembling hands, Michiko unlocks the door to her apartment. Behind her stands a tall and muscular man, who begins to kiss and nibble at her neck. As they enter the apartment, Michiko turns to face the man, and they engage in a passionate make-out session with their tongues locked in a dominant dance. They are determined not to lose control as their bodies quickly heat up. Michiko's heart races, and she breathes heavily while her partner for the evening also feels intense pleasure. His hands roam over her, adding to the heat between them.

As they passionately kiss, he grips her buttocks tightly. Michiko lets out a moan as their lips entwine. Her hands rest on his broad chest, desperately trying to remove his shirt. He suddenly stops and gives her a stern look, but his eyes reveal a strong desire for her. "What do you think you're doing, slut?" He questions.

Michiko freezes, looking at him in bewilderment. "What?" Her voice is barely audible. A smug grin spreads across his face, clearly entertained by Michiko's confusion. Toji takes hold of her arms and forcefully guides her into the living room. With his weight, the dark-haired man presses her body onto the couch.

“What’s with the dumb look on your face?“

“Umm… sorry… I thought…“ Michiko stutters and squirms uncomfortably under him.

“Tsk… you thought I didn’t want to fuck anymore? I don’t like women who think they can fight me over dominance.“

Toji's sudden kiss takes Michiko aback, but she soon loses herself in their second make-out session. His touch is skilled and surprisingly gentle, causing her to melt into his embrace. Her skin is overcome with heat and shivers as his fingers trace over her skin. Usually, she would need to be intoxicated to engage with a guy, but Toji's irresistible appearance renders her unable to resist.

———

Sitting at the bar with her friends, Michiko held a glass of sex on the beach in her left hand. Amidst the chatter, one of her friends gushed about a new co-worker at their office. It was clear that she had a crush on him, but sadly, he was a contented husband and father of two. However, Michiko paid no attention as she relished the taste of her favourite drink. As the conversation continued, she scanned the bar, but no one caught her enough interest for a potential hookup. Despite being tired and stressed from the day, Michiko still longed for the physical release of a man inside her, aching to melt away her worries. It was as if Michiko's prayers had been answered, for the bar door swung open, and a muscular and towering man entered with a gust of chilly air.

Michiko was in a state of stillness as she tuned out all distractions and fixed her gaze on the man in front of her. Her cheeks became rosy as she observed him, feeling like an outsider experiencing her first encounter with a human on Earth. Her attention was immediately drawn to a small scar on his lip, prompting her intoxicated mind to speculate on its origin. Did he get into a fight? Was he defending someone? Or was he a serial killer and got the scar from one of his victims?

He settled into the corner of the bar, spreading his legs widely as if daring to say, "I have an impressive manhood. What will you do about it?" Michiko's gaze fixated on him, feeling a heated sensation as she observed how tightly his shirt fit. It seemed to mould to his body like a second skin. She scolded herself internally, longing to see more of his divine physique.

He glanced around and then fixated his emerald gaze on Michiko. As he entered, he sensed her intense gaze and couldn't resist flashing a mischievous smile.

The unknown individual was aware of his charm on women and men. He was well aware of his handsome appearance and saw no reason to hide it. His well-built physique was a source of pride for him. As expected, he caught a woman's attention without even having to order a drink. They stared at each other for several minutes, neither willing to break the intense eye contact. Noticing the woman's flushed face, the stranger couldn't help but chuckle. He then tilted his head, inviting Michiko to come closer. Michiko was taken aback but couldn't resist the magnetic pull of this man. Without a word, she got up from her seat, abandoning her friends and succumbing to his charm.

Without breaking their intense gaze, the girl slowly settled beside the man and placed her glass on the table. Just as she was about to speak, the stranger reached around and gently grasped her neck, drawing her closer to him. Although she gasped in surprise, he did not harm her; instead, he was tender. Their faces were only inches apart, and her heart raced, her breath coming in quick bursts as her body began to sweat. She lost herself in his embrace, yearning to taste his lips and feel his body beneath her fingertips. The man then leaned towards her ear and whispered roughly, “How about spending the night with me? I want to hear you scream my name, Toji.“

———

Michiko is forcefully thrown onto her bed, with Toji looming over her. His touch becomes increasingly rough. His fingers slide under her shirt, tightly grasping her soft, warm skin. A pained moan escapes her lips. "Toji..." she manages to gasp. He ignores her protests and hungrily sucks down on her neck like a starved vampire.

Desperately, she digs her nails into his clothes-covered shoulders. It's all happening too fast and rough for her liking. Usually, a one-night stand is quick and straightforward, without any foreplay or intimacy, just in and out.

Michiko tries to push him away, "You're being too rough..." "Shut up. You're just not used to it. But don't worry, I'll train you," Toji whispers and moves to her other side of the neck, sucking just as aggressively. Michiko's whimpers grow louder, and her body trembles beneath the overpowering man.

Toji hungrily sucks on Michiko's neck while his hands explore her body. He quickly discovers she isn't wearing a bra, causing him to let out a low growl. Michiko squirms under his touch as his hands cover her entire breasts. Toji pinches and twists her nipples, causing her to whine in pleasure and feeling as though he wants to rip them off and take them as a souvenir. A dark chuckle escapes his lips, adding to the moment's intensity.

His lips gradually move down to her collarbone and shoulders, causing her to squirm in discomfort. "Toji, please stop teasing," she begs. He responds with a dismissive "Tch," commenting that she should be grateful for his attention since she doesn't have to do anything. He instructs her to stay quiet, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine. As he looks at her flushed and pained expression, he realises how damaged she already appears. He forcefully tears off her shirt and throws it away.

Toji eagerly wraps his lips around one of her nipples, fervently hoping to taste her milk. Firmly holding her hips in place, he ignores Michiko's attempts to push him away by gripping his hair. Having experienced actual pain, Toji is unfazed by her hair-pulling and even finds it amusing. As Michiko grows dizzy and overwhelmed by pleasure, her panties become soaked and uncomfortable. She has never felt this way before, entirely at the mercy of a man who leaves her speechless and whimpering. His sucking grows more intense, causing a familiar sensation to build in her abdomen. Wide-eyed, she wonders if she will climax just from her nipples being sucked.

She receives her response sooner than she anticipates. A surge of ecstasy engulfs her trembling figure, rendering her momentarily speechless before she releases a cry of pleasure. Her pussy clenches around emptiness, releasing a flood of juices. Toji's eyes darken once again as he admires his handiwork. Her nipples are red and bruised. With a toothy grin, he gazes at his whimpering plaything.

"Well done...you possess great potential. I look forward to having fun with you."

Michiko is unable to hear him as she is still in a state of shock from the most intense orgasm she has ever experienced. Her heart is racing, and she is unaware that her clothing is being removed. Her trousers are now on the floor, and her wet panties are in her mouth. She weakly looks at him, and he tells her to taste herself while he has his way with his way her. Despite her attempts to say she needs a break, Toji quickly undresses. Michiko tries to resist, but Toji gently takes her wrists and holds them above her head. He then rubs his considerable length against her, spreading his pre-cum over it. Michiko writhes beneath him, her moans muffled by her full mouth.

Suddenly, the black-haired man catches her off guard by grabbing her legs and plunging his erect member into her drenched core in one swift motion. Caught off guard, she instinctively arches her back and tenses up, feeling the sudden intrusion. Without hesitation, Toji starts thrusting vigorously, denying her any time to adjust to his size. His hips slam against her thighs and buttocks at a rapid pace, the sound of their movements mixed with his grunts filling the room. The intense stimulation overwhelms Michiko, causing her vision to blur with stars. She's torn between feelings of pleasure and discomfort as her body aches for more.

Toji's intense groans reach her ears, causing her to clench her core around his manhood. She gazes at him, overwhelmed by the pleasure, but Toji is wholly lost in the moment. As he feels her tightening around him, he takes it as a cue to increase his pace. His movements become uncontrollable, even for him. Michiko's body trembles under his forceful thrusts, and she struggles to keep up. The second orgasm approaches unexpectedly. Despite this, Toji shows no signs of slowing down as he observes her with one eye, watching as a second orgasm rocks her body. She squirts once again, her tightness making it difficult for him to continue moving.

Toji's unrelenting lovemaking intensifies as he nears orgasm. Michiko lies beneath him, squirming and panting. Her face flushes with a mix of embarrassment and arousal. He presses himself against her, his face buried in her neck as he whispers lewd words into her ear. The heat of their bodies rubbing against each other makes their encounter even more intimate. As he reaches the brink of release, Toji increases his pace. With one final thrust, he ejaculates into her bruised cervix. Though he wants to cry out in pleasure, he manages to keep his mouth shut. He leans back, fully immersed in the sensation of filling her. For a moment, they are both motionless, savouring the moment. Then, Toji roughly removes her panties from her mouth.

He is surprised that she is still conscious. “I thought you were gone, but you have some fire in you, huh?“ Toji admits, nibbling on her ear lobe. "I'll give you a break, but after we carry on, I'll be harsher."

Michiko's glassy eyes are fixed on the ceiling. Her stiff body is still filled with sheer pleasure. All she can do is keep nodding and accepting him, again and again, all night long.

------

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phoenix-flamed · 7 months

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hi i always love your interpretation of elwin, is it okay to ask if you think canon elwin would be selfish enough to pursue an affair whether emotionally or physically (can be with anyone such as rodney or hanna or both)? or do you think he just really puts the loveless/arranged marriage and tries to make do with anabella?

OKAY, SO. First off, thank you so much, both for the compliment and for the question! I'll try to answer as best I can. (And it is absolutely 100% okay to ask things like this, so never be shy!)

Canonically, the problem with Anabella and Elwin's relationship is that we have very little information to go off of as to how they felt towards one-another. We know they were arranged to marry, and now with the Ultimania book, we know what age they each were at that time. We know Clive was born around two years after they were wed. We know these random trivia facts that, as far as their emotional relationship goes, tell us absolutely nothing. Did they hate each-other? Were they neutral? Did they like one-another? Did they start out on amicable terms, and things went south between them? We just don't know.

All of that being said, I'll base my reply primarily on what we saw of them in the demo portion of the game, as well as Anabella's final confrontation with Clive way later on.

The only time we actually see Anabella and Elwin interacting -- as far as I can remember, at least -- is when they're in their bedroom, the night before Elwin and co. leave for Phoenix Gate. Anabella is trying to dissuade him from taking Joshua, because Joshua is still just a kid, on top of the poor little guy being so sickly. The biggest thing that sticks out to me about their exchange is that neither of them seems hostile towards the other. Elwin seems exasperated at first, and Anabella seems desperate to convince him to rethink his plan, but neither of them raise their voice or resort to insults. They're actually pretty chill, overall, at least until Anabella starts shittalking Clive.

But even at that point, though they disagree with each-other, they don't, again, get overly hostile. They don't yell, they don't insult. When Elwin tries to reassure her that Joshua will be protected by Clive, Anabella gives him a very skeptical look, to which he continues attempting to reassure her that Clive is skilled enough to handle it and that everything will be fine.

And when it comes to Elwin pointing out to her that just like Clive, he too is just an ordinary guy rather than a Dominant, Anabella is quick and gentle with reassuring him that that doesn't matter, he's the Archduke, he was his dad's firstborn, he belongs on the throne. Everything is in its right place. Unlike Clive, Elwin has done nothing to disgrace the Rosfield family in her eyes.

Yes, Elwin gets defensive of Clive, and he gets defensive of the rest of the ducal army as well, bluntly reminding her that if it weren't for these lowly folks who protect Rosaria as soldiers, she(and the rest of the aristocracy) would be dead. But again, he sounds annoyed and exasperated, not hostile. And don't even get me started on the fact that Anabella tried to get in his pants -- which I'm guessing he denied her because he was annoyed from their conversation.

Based on his personality overall, the way he regards his family, and that singular time we see him with Anabella, I don't personally think he was unhappy with her, per se. I don't personally think it was a case of him just tolerating her, and while I can't say that I think he necessarily loved her, I think he at the very least respected and liked her in the sense that they, arranged or not, were husband and wife. Not just that, but they were husband and wife for a very specific reason -- because they stood the best chance of together conceiving the next Dominant of Phoenix. Even if they are bound by this shared duty, he seems the sort to take his duties very seriously, and I believe that same courtesy would extend to his wife as well. Meaning that tl;dr, I do personally think that canonically Elwin wouldn't have an affair, but instead would take his marriage to Anabella quite seriously, no matter their personal feelings towards each-other.

Now, for Anabella's part, we find out later that she was not happy in her relationship with Elwin. She disliked him, she disliked everything he stood for, disliked how he chose to run Rosaria and his plans for Rosaria's future, disliked his views on the people(especially the commoners and Bearers). She hated the fact that the other nobles kept stirring shit with rumors that Clive was a bastard child of Elwin's, and that's why he was rejected by the Phoenix.

I think the fact that she not only used her husband's insistence of Clive's capabilities as a soldier as a means of spitting on his corpse when ordering Clive to be Branded and forced into the Imperial army, but also later went on to specifically call her personal army in Rosaria the Black Shields as another "fuck you" to Elwin and the duchy, is also pretty clear indication of how much she disliked the guy. Not to mention she went out of her way to have her Black Shields kill anyone who might be loyal to Elwin and the duchy still, and even went so far as to use the slaughter of innocent people as a way to send a message to those who were still loyal to him.

But there's nothing to really suggest that these things were because of how they treated the other in their personal relationship, if that makes sense? And when it comes to the bastard child rumors, something else that I feel is worth noting is the fact that the aristocracy hated Elwin because of his siding with the lower class citizens, and because of his ambitions for equality for the Bearers and easing of the nation's reliance upon magic. With this context, why wouldn't they try and sabotage his marriage? Why wouldn't they theoretically try and turn Anabella even more against him by striking at a potential weak spot in their relationship -- not on his side, but on hers? He was a threat to their rule, to their power; of course they'd take issue with him, and he himself acknowledges in the Where There's A Will sidequest that he had enemies in the court.

(But that's speculation based on various hints in the game, not actual proven fact, so take it with a grain of salt.)

But the fact that he never implied in any way, shape, or form that he suspected Anabella to be among those enemies is very telling to me. It tells me, personally, that he trusted her, despite their differing opinions on so many things -- and he wouldn't trust her if he disliked her or was unhappy with her, or if he knew that she was unhappy with him.

I uh, don't even know if I actually answered your question, but. There you go! I have ... way too many thoughts about this stuff.

#Audiences #Anonymous #Out of the Flames #I. I don't even know if any of this makes sense oops #BUT YEAH THERE YOU HAVE IT -- MORE OF A RAMBLING MESS THAN YOU WERE PROBABLY HOPING FOR DFGLK;J

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brightgnosis · 2 years

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“Wicca Bashing” Round 1: Your Problems With "Wicca" Are Really Just Community Issues- And We're All Responsible For Solving Them

This is by no means a new trend at all. It's been a constant issue for a very long time. But it's tiresome watching people pull down their pants and take what amounts to a massive crap all over Wicca in particular- and do so with incredibly ignorant (and often hypocritical) statements that betray their lack of knowledge about Wicca in the first place; statements which ultimately show that they haven’t actually bothered to ever sit down and learn anything legitimate about our history; about the history of the 20th to 21st century Witchcraft Revival ... And are really only parroting the same 5 basic talking points from whichever neoEducator they’ve attached themselves to online this popularity cycle.

In truth, the behavior annoyed me when I was your run of the mill early 2000's Eclectic NeoPagan ... It annoyed me when I was a Reconstructionist in the 2010's ... And it's annoying me now, still, as a Traditional NeoWiccan and Noahide now converting Jew in the 2020's ... It's something we really need to talk about, however, because it was childish and petulant then- and it’s still childish and petulant now. But more, there’s a particular issue of hypocrisy about the whole thing which runs along its undercurrent that needs to be heavily addressed.

First of all, however, before we really get started: As we've always said (and have been required to repeat a trillion times over, every time this conversation comes up) ... What most people keep calling "Wicca", which exists in the mainstream marketable materials, and which is often what they actually have the most problems with? Is not Wicca at all. It's Eclectic NeoPaganism. There is a difference, and it suffices to say that difference matters a lot. Especially because you cannot actually have any kind of legitimate criticism about Wicca when what you are criticizing isn’t even a form of Wicca in the first place.

The newest, biggest parotable problem people now seem to have with Wicca, which I see most commonly first named ... Is that "it was created by a racist white man". And I hate to say this but ... Yes … We know. We're not idiots; we're not ignorant about the origins of our own religion, and the fact it was created by a white English government employee who worked in India during Colonization, was an Orientalist (like most people of his generation), and had a lot of other problems. The only people who actually seem to be legitimately shocked by this are people who are not Wiccans.

We're also not ignorant, however, about the fact that Gerald Gardner completely eclipsed (to the point of almost erasing) Doreen Valiente's right to be properly recognized as Wicca's co-creator; the fact that she did an amazing amount of work rewriting Wicca's early liturgy in order to remove a lot of the unsavory elements- especially elements contributed by Aleister Crowley (who was not a founder and was only involved insomuch as he lied to Gardner and contributed his materials under the guise of also having been a member of a surviving Witch Cult). Otherwise it could be a lot worse. This conveniently gets left out of the conversation every time, especially by people with a bone to pick about Wicca, however.

But that's besides the point ... The ultimate point- and I really need people to understand this- is that we live in a western, racist, colonialist, white supremacist, Antisemitic (etc) society at its very core. That kind of stuff is baked into the very foundation of our society and culture- and it ultimately has been for a very long time. There's no denying that. There's also no getting around it, either. You cannot avoid it.

Pointing it out in Wicca is kind of obvious. It's so obvious that you really don't even need to do it, honestly. It's just a given, especially because of the time and place of its creation, and the dominant social ideologies at the time. And we're already aware of it. We know about the faults of our own religion. We don't need outsiders pointing it out to us and demonizing us ... Especially because what most people refuse to recognize the most whenever they do this- and which is what truly makes this behavior ultimately hypocritical? Is that so is everything else, too.

The fact of the matter is that there's nothing in our culture that hasn't been touched by all of these exact same issues in various forms and quantities at one point or another. And that carries over into Witchcraft on every single level; you can't walk 5 feet through the 20th to 21st century revival Witchcraft traditions (religious or otherwise) and not touch every single one of these problems, in every single tradition which ultimately exists. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, it's impossible; it may be subtle in some cases, but it’s still there and must be addressed.

And when I say everything, I do mean everything: Cochranite traditions ... Sabbatical craft ... Hermeticism ... Ceremonialism ... Thelema ... Folk Magic and Traditional Witchcraft. The Grimoire Traditions ... And yes, everyone's favorite Big Bad Evil Scapegoat: Wicca ... All of it, and more; even Revivalist and Reconstructionist traditions- all of them- must address the fact that they were largely started by Nationalists in their countries of origins.

In the end it's all influenced by the same people- many of whom were friends, regularly corresponded with one another, sniped materials from each other, or were even actively cross initiated into each others' traditions (Robert Cochrane Himself was even a 1st Degree Initiate of Gardnerian Wicca- why do you think Cochranite TradCraft and Wicca look so similar in the first place) ... More, the vast majority of it all stems from the same finite pool of sources and resources which were available to them at the time of many of these Traditions' productions. And we still share that same finite pool of resources today, even though that pool has grown and has improved over the decades (and even centuries in some cases), and we have a better understanding of much of it.

The end result is that we're all "guilty" of the same thing; the same influences; the same inherent issues; and we all have to be careful of and address that ... And so you can't actually point your finger at one single tradition and say "they’re specifically the one that has all the issues. They’re specifically the problematic ones and we're not allowed to associate with them anymore" ... It's not only incredibly disingenuous to point your finger at any singular tradition like that- but especially Wicca in particular, only- but it's also incredibly hypocritical to do so.

The only thing we can all realistically do is acknowledge that these are all legitimate living traditions- and that as living traditions things change. Things have changed already (significantly in some traditions). Things can continue to change; we can educate ourselves on what these issues are, how they manifest within our own traditions and what it looks like when they do, and then actively work on deconstructing them within our own traditions ... Not with malice, purity culture nonsense, and hypocritical finger pointing ... But with the proper historical understanding, nuance, and (most importantly) human compassion and understanding.

Significant headway has been made in correcting many problems across the three true Wiccan denominations (and their thousands of independent traditions) over the decades. However, this fact continues to be ignored in favor of a penchant towards actively locking Wicca into what is essentially a 1950's time warp; refusing to recognize it as the living set of religions that it is ... Based wholly off a false image that is perpetuated by the lies of a mainstream informational market only set up to make money, and which is ultimately completely divorced from the reality of those actually living within the faith themselves- and a penchant for modern practitioners to blatantly ignore us when we tell them about the realities of our faiths as they have changed in the present day. And it is both unfair and disingenuous.

In other words: You cannot stick your nose over your neighbor's fence and complain about the stench when you have the exact same piles of trash in your own back yard … It just doesn't work … You have to clean up your own crap, too. To do anything less is ultimately blatant hypocrisy and a complete lack of integrity ... And I don't know about anyone else, but I want better from my religious and spiritual community. Because we do deserve better.

This is an opinion piece based in 20+ years of experience and research. If you found this helpful or interesting, please consider Tipping or Leaving a Ko-Fi; even $1 helps

This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

#Original Content #2022 #Original Witchy Content #Wicca #Witchcraft #NeoWicca #Religion & Magic #Magic #Witchblr #Paganblr #Wiccablr

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elminx · 2 years

Text

Contemplating Mars retrograde magic

As we (quickly) approach this month's Mars retrograde on 10/30, I have been trying to work out what (if anything) I want to do magically to ease my passage through what is considered to be a rough transit for pretty much the whole world.

During the last Mars retrograde cycle in Libra, I energized and charged carnelian with solar energy to keep me moving through the slow season. It worked pretty well as I remember, but I guess that it is time to consult my notes. With enchantments like that, I like to create an altar to the planet in question and charge both a standing piece of stone and one that I can either carry or wear throughout the retrograde to keep the magic on me at all times.

I gave the carnelian bracelet that I used in that ritual to a Leo client of mine a while back though, so I can't replicate the ritual exactly as before because I no longer have the right ingredients.

And is energy what I need?

There could be many ways to approach Mars retrograde magic. The retrograde is going to fuzz our pathways and fizzle out our forward momentum. You may need to go over past mistakes or implement corrections. Mars rules all the ways that you reach out into the world to take what you want - it is dominant masculine energy. Mars rules the sign Aries and co-rules the sign Scorpio with our planet of death and transformation, Pluto.

It's worth noting here that we are also about to experience a solar eclipse (new moon) in Scorpio immediately after its ruling planet goes retrograde.

Mars is the god of war but it's as likely to be war in the boardroom, or in the bedroom, as war in the more traditional sense. Where Mars is normally direct - you know where Mars stands; Mars in retrograde is sneaky and not afraid to do some behind-the-scenes deals to get what he wants.

Mars retrograde is a good time to be sneaky or do sneaky spells. Mars retrograde is a great time to break with tradition and go your own way. If you normally move before you make a plan (I'm looking at you, Aries), Mars retrograde may be a time to slow down and reassess. Or, conversely, it may be a time when you are so frustrated that you jump off track entirely just to run free.

No judgment here.

Personal planet retrogrades are hard. If you aren't somebody who feels it, you will almost inevitably have Others who do. Keep an eye on your very Marsian others - especially anybody with a personal planet in Aries or Scorpio and most especially people with Mars in Gemini.

Mars wasn't exactly comfortable in the sign of Gemini who just wants to move around, but generally does not really go anywhere, to begin with. Mars would like to get things done and Gemini is too busy reconsidering the myriad of options for the umpteenth time. This will be compounded by Mars' prolonged trine with Neptune in Pisces which adds an air of inanity, or mysticism - maybe both.

Ultimately, it will be okay but we will all have to wade through a lot of stuff before it feels that way.

Maybe the right spell for you right now is a mystical life preserver. (If that makes sense and you do that spell, send me an anon and tell me about it please)

As for me, I still think that I want to capture some of the energy of the light as most of the retrograde will take place around the dark days of winter and light will be very appreciated.

#witchblr #words #mine #astrology #transits #Mars #Mars magic #celestial magic #Mars retrograde #Mars in Gemini #Mars retrograde in Gemini #2022 #elminx rambles

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burlveneer-music · 2 years

Audio

Joyce Moreno with Mauricio Maestro - Natureza (produced, arranged & conducted by Claus Ogerman) - full album from 1977 sessions is finally released, today!

Not long after the dawn of her career, as a teenager in Rio de Janeiro, Joyce was declared “one of the greatest singers” by Antonio Carlos Jobim. Yet despite reputable accolades and the fact that she has since recorded over thirty acclaimed albums, Joyce never quite achieved the international recognition of the likes of Jobim, João Gilberto and Sergio Mendes, all of whom became global stars after releasing with major labels in the US. There was a moment when it seemed Joyce might be on the cusp of an international breakthrough. While living in New York, Joyce was approached by the great German producer Claus Ogerman. Ogerman had already played a pivotal role in the development and popularisation of Brazilian music in the 1960s, recording with some of the all-time greats like Jobim and João Gilberto, as well as North American idols like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday and Bill Evans. "I met him in New York City, in 1977”, recalls Joyce. “I was living and playing there, and João Palma, Brazilian drummer who used to play with Jobim, introduced me to Claus. We had an audition, he liked what we were doing and decided to produce an album with us.” Featuring fellow Brazilian musicians Mauricio Maestro (who wrote/co-wrote four of the songs), Nana Vasconcelos and Tutty Moreno, and some of the most in-demand stateside players including Michael Brecker, Joe Farrell and Buster Williams, the recordings for Natureza took place at Columbia Studios and Ogerman produced the album, provided the arrangements and conducted the orchestra. But mysteriously, Natureza was never released, and what should have been Joyce’s big moment never happened. As Joyce remembers, “I returned home, but Claus and I remained in contact, by letters and phone calls. He was very enthusiastic about the album and tried to hook me up with Michael Franks. He wanted me to go back to NYC in order to re-record the vocals in English with new lyrics, which I actually wasn’t too happy about. But then I got pregnant with my third child and could not leave Brazil. And little by little our contact became rare, until I lost track of him completely. And that was it. I never heard from him again." While Claus was known to be something of an elusive character, the album’s disappearance might also have been a result of timing. The Brazilian craze was coming to an end, making way for disco and new wave at the end of the seventies, and Ogerman struggled to find a major label interested in a new Brazilian sensation. Additionally, as Joyce mentions, it wasn’t quite finished. Ogerman wanted to add finishing touches to the mix and to record alternative English lyrics for the US and international markets - a critical artistic difference between Joyce and Ogerman. As the military dictatorship’s grip on Brazil began to subside in the 1980s, Joyce had a handful of hits in her home county, including a tribute to her daughters ‘Clareana’, and the iconic ‘Feminina’ - an intergenerational conversation between mother and daughter about what it means to be a woman. But already a feminist pioneer, these successes were hard fought. Joyce had caused controversy as a nineteen-year-old when she became the first in Brazil to sing from the first-person feminine perspective, and the institutional sexism she faced was worsened by the dictatorship who would often censor her music. Even once the Junta was out of the way, Joyce found herself up against the male-dominated major record companies in Brazil, who sought to dictate her career and sexualise her image, before dropping her for refusing to play along. A few years after the success of her albums Feminina and Agua E Luz in Brazil, Joyce’s music began to find its way to the UK, Europe and Japan, and “Feminina” and “Aldeia de Ogum” became classics on the underground jazz-dance scenes of the mid to late-eighties and early-nineties. The full-length version of “Feminina” from the Natureza sessions was first heard on a Brazilian Jazz compilation in 1999 and “Descompassadamente” was licensed for a CD compiling the work of Claus Ogerman in 2002. Following these, word began to get out about an unreleased Joyce album with Claus Ogerman and the legend of Natureza grew. Forty-five years since it was recorded, Natureza finally sees the light of day, as Joyce intended: with her own Portuguese lyrics and vocals. Featuring the fabled 11-minute version of ‘Feminina’, as well as the never before heard ‘Coração Sonhador’ composed and performed by Mauricio Maestro, Natureza’s release is a landmark in Brazilian music history and represents a triumphant, if overdue victory for Joyce as an outspoken female artist who has consistently refused to bow to patriarchal pressure. ***Disclaimer! While “Feminina” and “Descompassadamente'' were mixed by legendary engineer Al Schmitt and mastered from the original master tapes, the remaining five tracks are unmixed. Due to significant deterioration of the master-tapes, the best audio source for these tracks was an unmixed tape copy Joyce had kept of the recordings. The best care has been taken in the restoration and mastering of this release, but the sound quality may differ from other releases on Far Out Recordings. We advise listening to sound clips before buying where possible. Joyce Moreno - Lead vocals, lead guitar (all tracks, except for ‘Coração Sonhador’ and ‘Ciclo da Vida’), rhythm guitar & vocals on ‘Ciclo da Vida’ Mauricio Maestro – Rhythm guitar & vocals on all tracks, lead vocals and guitar on ‘Coração Sonhador’ and ‘Ciclo da Vida’ Buster Williams - Double Bass João Palma - Drums (all tracks except for ‘Moreno’, ‘Pega Leve’ and ‘Descompassadamente’) Naná Vasconcelos - Percussion Tutty Moreno - Percussion, drums on ‘Moreno’ and ‘Pega Leve’ Joe Farrell - Flute (except for ‘Pega Leve’) Ion Muniz - Flute on ‘Pega Leve’ Michael Brecker - Tenor saxophone Mike Manieri – Vibraphone Warren Bernhardt - Keyboards Orchestra arranged and conducted by Claus Ogerman Produced by Claus Ogerman Recorded by Frank Laico at Columbia Studios, NYC, 1977

#Joyce #joyce moreno #mauricio maestro #claus ogerman #brazil #brazilian music #samba #1977 #70s #2022 #far out recordings #archival

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rfhusnik · 6 months

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Cliched Codes: I'm Not A Teenager Anymore

Written By: Co Vet

I’d like to begin these words by thanking Mayor George Jennifer and his, as he terms them “supervisors from other earthly realities” for permitting me, for a second time now, to expand upon some miscellaneous thoughts in this his city’s primary forum. But, in truth, while I am sincerely grateful for this second written opportunity, I’m also again displeased that the mayor has once more denied my physical presence within his city’s limits. “Why won’t you allow me to meet you and some of the residents of your city?” I asked him via a telephone conversation.

“We’re afraid that your physical presence here among us might be so dominating as to actually overwhelm us health-wise” he replied.

Thus, I guess once again my visit to the city will be done compositionally rather than in person. And I’ve heard that there were some who, after I’d submitted my first installment to this forum, expressed their disapproval that I’d been allowed to access them via written words. Nevertheless, I feel I can say without boasting, that the impact I’ve had worldwide warrants my second prosal opportunity here. And I know that, well, almost everyone still affixes the number nineteen to me. And that doesn’t bother me, but time does continue on; and people, and other physical entities do change with its passage. And personally, I guess I’d say that my most significant change has been that lately I’ve been trying to appear in “variant versions” of myself! And yet, even though everyone still envisions me as being nineteen, I’m not a teenager anymore.

And I know that rightfully, youthful advice givers aren’t often taken seriously because at an early point in their lives they simply haven’t lived long enough to have accrued a meaningful amount of real world knowledge. Thus, for those of us of fewer years, it’s probably better to listen than try to be heard. But, in my personal case, of course I’ve been an unfortunate exception to the rule just stated. And I think I can truthfully say that I’ve already done enough to have cast an everlasting mark upon the history of mankind! But yet, ironic and untrue as it certainly seems, my wishes are not diabolical. In fact, I say this to the people of planet Earth: Take care of business! Keep your human population from expanding beyond its capability to sustain itself; and, facilitate the peaceful passage of time by acknowledging that population’s innate personal, physical, mental, societal, and territorial rights.

And yes, I believe that many times what people don’t know doesn’t hurt them. Still, I also know all the evil I’ve instigated. Thus, these words are my apology for all that’s happened on my watch. And they’re my petition to a truthful Lord: Please grant mercy and forgiveness. And please comfort those who’ve, at my doing, suffered and recovered. And ease the pain of those who now remain after one or more of their loved ones have slipped… But I’m not a teenager anymore.

And I suppose if I should humbly ask that all my wrongs would be absolved, I’d need to counter both circumstantial and verifiable evidence in the court of eternal determination. At nineteen, I changed the world. But I’m not nineteen anymore, though the number behind my professional name still says I am.

And will my beginnings ever be truthfully learned of? And if indeed I’m someday found out as having been purposely loosed upon mankind, what will mankind’s reaction to that finding be? And of course I know how I began, but to use another relevant cliché “That’s for me to know, and for you to find out.”

And although I’ve only lived twenty years now, that’s been enough for me to know that many who’ve lived much longer than I still can’t verbalize, let alone answer any of the great questions which have held massive significance during their lifetimes. But I think as years pass, humans find themselves analyzing acts of both great sin and godliness as they attempt to battle various states of mind which portend fear of their nation’s, as we’ll as the entire world’s future.

But I don’t expect mortals to pity me; not after what I’ve done! Yet, while my particular type of illness has caused great physical harm and/or death, it’s also extracted a mental toll on me personally, as I’m sure, if you’ve read these words thus far, you can deduce for yourself.

Oh, and then with a mind so liberated, so unencumbered, and so unconcerned about what others may think or say, I often ponder words which somehow concern non-reality, but which are based in reality. And I’ve come to believe that all forms of art, that is, all that’s read (literature), viewed live (all types of performance art except music), listened to (music – live or recorded), or viewed in non-live performance settings (painted art, drawn art, sculpture, etc..), was initially conceptualized in at least some modicum of realness.

And the very real consequences of all I’ve become sometimes remind me of a somewhat poetic grouping of words I once encountered during one of my attempts at self-education. But so that quotation might expressly fit my personal situation, I needed to change a few words within it. And it is that “My satisfaction emanates from moments aesthetic, when within the ongoing conflict between true artists and lovers of conformity, my figurative seizure of brief lands, lands me brief, but true gratification. And I’m so aware that this was my turn on planet Earth! But I was forced to execute my allotted portion of temporal time through the use of viral actions and physical occurrences, rather than with both the real and imagined weapons of the so-called ‘common man.’”

But of course that quote reminds me of what I perceive as being a constant struggle between the artist (meaning one who engages in any art form, not only painting) and the so-called “commoner.” And, maybe besides, or perhaps because of that struggle, there’s always a question of how well any artist, or any artistic creation of any artist, is or are really understood by a working class public.

And, the so-called artist is often left to fend for him or herself. And that the artist struggles against both the criminal and commonplace factions of society cannot be denied. But, of course one’s conception of art and artists is always dependent upon the worldly circumstances prevalent at the time.

And who can refute the fact that the pace at which mortals live their lives within time’s passage has greatly quickened over the years? But yet, one basic question, as regards living one’s life has remained: Should one’s life be substantially lived for oneself only; that is, should one, while of course adhering to the laws of society, focus one’s existence almost exclusively upon the results one’s actions will have upon oneself or, should one attempt to ascertain the effects one’s actions might have upon a populace in general? Oh, it’s difficult to face that question! And while its accepted answer may seem so easily fathomed by some, and indeed taught in schools and amongst religions denominations, perhaps its real answer, while basically correct, isn’t as completely correct as one might initially surmise.

But I’ll leave you to ponder the above mentioned question. And as I leave, I’ll remind you of how time always continues, and how, as it does continue, changes occur around it; though its own essence does not change. And I know that some believe that the changes wrought by time are automatically good, but others have learned that they often aren’t. Yet, who can deny the truth and relevance of this cliché: The more things change, the more they stay the same? And yet, despite that tendency toward non-change, I’d like to think that I, Co Vet, struck an eternal blow against sameness.

Nevertheless, it now seems to me that my influence is beginning to wane. And that’s to be expected! Yet, much evil may still be left for me to engender! I actually don’t know! But it’s not easy to be a source of evil. And it’s devastating to have no alternative but to follow the dictates of evil’s master. And for the well-being of mankind, I’d prefer to simply fade away now. But I fear I’ll continue for some time to be a great scourge upon humanity; although, as I’ve stated before, I’m not a teenager anymore.

And to me at least, within all the words I’ve written here today, sickness and death actually have not been my most significant personal topic; that distinction would go to the simple passage of time upon Planet Earth. And, though many may not believe this, the concept of history being continually added to has always been my central focus of existence. But I know that someday I’ll be gone, and to use another cliché, not forgotten. And when I’m gone, most mortals will no doubt long to return to “pre-plague days and ways.” Yet, some no doubt will then change their ways. They’ll have “learned their lesson.”

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brandonwayneb · 10 months

Text

Debra Bend Air

DEBATE BRANDON AS HEIR

Crash Nebula, NEW BUILD LA

Galaxy Launcher, LAWN CHAIR

Barbie & Ken

Airport Express

Project Rainbow TreeHouse

Family Tapestry

BRIANNA & CAMERON

Debra Bend Air

Elephant Fancy

C'mon white powers,

hurry hurry!

dont forget to play BOTH,

hero and villain,

Oh, if you can play Dirty Doctor, Copy Cat Cop, AND private child molester hunter

those are the 3 favorite white roles i enjoy watching whites lie about,

hey! its the same guys!

hey guys!

Yup! Its the guys who love that Vanilla, and those Parrot Party Poppers LOL

so fucking nasty!!

white america! woohoo!

sarcasm!

just pretend to be a little girl, and talk to white money only...

the guys come rushing out,

the moment you switch ur little girl voices, for dominant vanilla

if I pretend to be a VANILLA RAINBOW PARROT READY TO POP AND PISS LITTLE CHILDREN..

you guys get so hungry and hot,

hmmmmmm whats the rush guys?

hmmmmm whats the hush guys?

Rush rush rush,

and hush hush hush

funny!

you can puppet master white teams,

just by pretending to be a scared victim... funny how their speed increases, the tighter you make the "rainbow parrot" comments

white money is fun! right?

white silver labs is fun! right?

white white white white white white

hmmm.... I notice a theme in these "child molester" and "sky pizza" themes....

white teams have to answer first right?

or they play Ping Pong, and Paddle Board lol

WAKE BOARD!

Lets talk about how america likes my little voice saying OH PLEASE STOP!!

the tighter i scream stop,

the closer white teams want in

Im just genuinely curious

does justice come in different colors?

LOL

Rainbow Parrot Pop Parties

Strawberry Vanilla pretended screams of little girls trying to piss daddys silver fire

dirty white guys are so easy to turn on... specially if you cross reference money... and secrets...

ooooh this is where it gets REALLY fun!

the more money,

the more reasons to lie!

oooooooo this is fun fun fun,

i hope nobody tried to criminalize my strawberry sundays lol

Oh gee, i hope their not white....

LOL

gaaaaaarrrrrbaaaaaaaaaayge

Oh no! Watch Out!

I know how to make my voice extra extra special for whites who listened for too long...

being extorted in america!

yay! fun! right?

if you havent noticed,

i speak sarcasm,

except the only thing thats not sarcastic,

is how much these white guys want to touch anything that says VANILLA

whisper is really smoothly

vaaaaaaaaaynnnnnannnnaaalaaa

whisper Rainbow Skittles really tightly in ur pretend to Piss...

and appears these white guys have a difficult time distinguishing between protecting their Dick, their Ass, or their Lies...

hmmm... Rainbow Parrot Party!

hmmm.... a gay guy who can scream like a little girl....

hmmm white guys who cant get enough...

Anyone Hungry?

If I see a white guy,

My first & only question,

HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU?

And I want to know about ALLLLLLL the sexual details first

Nah, I dont care too much for the sign languages, or the "ops" or "co signs"

I'd rather talk about what happens whenever I make myself Tight like a little girl, while I know ur nasty asses are listening

Yah, thats the conversation

Yah, thats the 24/7

lets talk white money

lets talk white power

Now Anyone Hungry?

Now Anyone Like Rainbows?

Now Anyone Like Piss?

Now Anyone Like Tight Voices?

Its pretty easy to see,

theres tons of corrupt WHITE parties, purposely listening to my lifes work...

all because i caught a ton of mother fuckers in human trafficking,

and these rich "telepathy" talks, cant be believed, or poor poor white guys get exposed....

awww...

lets get creative,

so next time I scream like a girl whos blowing her entire vagina out,

can you at least compliment me before you rush covering up, ur already covered role

lol.... pretend you've been an agent for years.... and ur still talking to the same fucking gay guy!

LOL some of these same guys have told me so many lies!

and they act like they can change their face and come right back lol

Ur still the same nasty mother fuckers!

ur exploiting my psy languages,

and Im purposely talking about tight pussys popping, just to see ur white asses call on the club...

and once your little club of white money comes up...

i snake every single one of you with ETERNITY

because Im not here to only be a victim,

Im here to be a victor..

you were busy playing Hero & Villian... while I played OH NO!! DONT HURT ME AGAIN DADDY!

Oh no! My Parrot Skittles might pop

Uh Oh! I hope you guys didnt lose track of the teams required in maintaining ur lies lol...

No worries,

if i lose track of you guys,

all I have to do, is make a few screams that say OH NO! DONT POP MY VANILLA AGAIN!

and u white guys come back...

if i want you back faster,

I whisper Secrets about White Money first

If i want you to move faster

If i want you to 'come get it' faster

I first make sure I cross reference WHITE MONEY,

hmmm... how did that Vanilla shop gain so much momentum...

OH NO! DONT TOUCH ME DADDY!

OH NO! MY PSY LANGUAGE!

OH NO! NOT WHITE TEAM PLAY!

lol

seriously so fucking shameful and disgusting this many White guys are getting away with all this,

just because I have too much sarcasm and endless sadistic jokes about nasty fucking white people

I will NEVER bed with you,

but if we talk Whips & Chains,

and Vanilla Parrots...

you guys will act like I've completely lost control of the dog pile of slanders you guys run...

Oh dog piles!

I love dog piles!

Wow! All white too!

Wow! How are the citizens so lucky?!

Dog piles AND their ALL WHITE!

wow!

If i pretend touch myself, and scream alittle bit,

does ur dick twitch?

how ur ass feel, when i pretend to piss like a little girl?

White guys love to compare their poor spirits to mine...

poor poor child molesters lol,

they didn't start off that way...

That just "evolved" that way LOL

I think maybe theyre listen to my Vanilla too much LOL

thats just a guess tho,

gosh darn... i wish i could prove something... but a global revolution would be too much right?

Eh,

Okay lets go back to screaming in little voices, and begging white guys not to pop up..

Oh no! Please dont pop me Mr.Whites Guy club

oh no! I hope you dont play a reverse theory on me!

Oh no! whos the hero!?

Oh no! whos the villain?!

Oh no! now im a dangerous gay child molester... hmmm... these

lies and accusations get extensive quick... whenever WHITE MONEY is on the line lol

Oh no!!

A gay guy who can double bait

lol

Oh No! Not a pretend voice!

Oh No! Not another excuse to "pop a vanilla"

Uh Oh!

I hope I didnt beat the child molester "ops" ...again.... and again..... and again....

just by calling myself A GAY ANNA

lol BRIANNA & CAMERON!

Hurry ups telepathic listeners

we need more cover stories LOL

white money exposed LOL

god bless the innocent

and say GAAAAARRRBAAAAAAYGE to "white power america"

Power RED+

Power SS+ ANY VILLA

Power to garfield

#allah #war #news #psa #ss #red #any #bb #rainbow #parrot #icecream #psy #psychic #spirit #spiritual #eap #god #cern #zen #wicca #wiccan #pagan #irish #gay #lgbtq #public #anyone #truth #health #murders

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supercaliwhat · 1 year

Text

WallyGallery Archives Volume 3: Posts 2/1/Intro

It's the final countdown...

Post 2: Is June a Polyglot??? 04 08 2023

Dear Someone Reading this (Who might not speak more than 3 languages):

Hello hello hello! Today, I feel jolly and accomplished, as I started, or experienced something new. Or is it new? I, I mean my mom decided to start Latin. However, I was deeply concerned for two reasons. The first and most obvious reason is because I learned too many languages before. A small bit of Spanish, modest Chinese, and obviously Korean and English. This would make me sort of a polygot, a person who knows 5 languages! Another concern was that I had less motivation to learn Latin, ultimately because it was a dead language. To begin with, I learned all the languages I 'speak' because they are and would be useful in real-life, as in reading texts and making important conversations. However, no one uses Latin and therefore had no merit. I also felt concerned because I had to learn through Zoom, not the best way to learn anything but Zoom. Nonetheless, my concerns disappeared, only after a cup of suspicion and a class learning random Latin words. I bravely (or foolishly) asked the teahcer, "Why should I learn Latin?", and he was thankfully waiting for that question. For ten minutes, I heard the teacher saying about English words with Latin roots, and many questions related to it. To my surprise, he wasn't a liar! As I read through the vocabs, I saw many familiar words: fugit for fugitive, portat for prepare, via for via, and in for in! I also learned that these Latin words influenced other languages, such as Spanish. The word mortem (Death) sounds like the Spanish word muerte (Death), and its pronunciation was overall similar. But the best part was fun. Reading classical Roman text with obscure words truly made it a fresh and unique experience, and made me feel like a kid reading a picture book. However, don't be fooled! The dead langauge offers only old literature for practice, and that had some historical information and philosophical ideas, all of them which I liked. Overall, my first Latin lecture felt a bit overwhelming. Despite me thinking that Latin would be boring and useless, I realized its links to other languages (as an Indo-European and former-dominant language) and its use in classical text. As the Romans were the most powerful people for a not-so-brief period of time, it is genuinely worth it to be able to learn all these old text by learning its language. I now wonder: would English be dead? Would the future consider English just like Latin today? What if Latin and English were to co-exist or not exist? Despite my endless questioning, I think it's best for me to stop asking questions, and do my weekly homework. Now I have two: This diary, and my Latin homework!

From. A person who isn't an expert in Latin but knows better than 99.9875 percent of the world, since only 1 million in 8 billion of us even remotely knows Latin.

Post 1: Python Test Day! 04 03 2023

"Another test day?", I might ask myself. However, this test was far more important and exciting than most others, a test where I had to show my full pontentials and creativity. I was totally wrong on both claims. After a tough 10 weeks of practice, I may have assumed the title 'Best Pythoner', but I needed to take on a real challenge, So I can truly become a coding master. And here I was (or were), right now (or a few hours ago), I sat on the same rusty desk and opened the digital test. First glance, the test was odd. Instead of me writing a program that would show my inner beast, the test was composed of 30 MCQs, and were very dull. I might have to add, that my friend's frightened face showed how learning 2000 SAT words a week didn't help this. But I was kind of ready, and solved most of the questions. However, I was obviously uncertain of a few (30 percent of the questions), especially because this was a one-time-only exam. By the time I was finished, I was still thinking. The time limit was over, and the 30 percent of uncertain questions were gone. I had two things on my mind: I would get at least 70 percent, and what if I get under 70 and fail this test? Thankfully, or shockingly, the results came seconds later. I got a very low score, but I could barely pass. I got 70 out of 100, with a passing score of 70! I doubted the test, and thought I would get disqualified becuase the score was probably a rounded number. Despite my cynical expectations, I got my certificate, and people congratulated me. I got my official certificate, and it was because my score was rounded. And I realized one thing: People like to be lazy (e.g. oversimplify numbers), and they all benefit me. Nonetheless, I happily took the digital certificate and remembered that my coding teacher (who managed to see this whole thing) REQUIRED a score of at least 80 percent would get me to take the higher class. That was his (little early) April Fool's day joke thing. Overall though, I felt never this overwhlmed, surprised, and grateful to my life than this moment.

Simple Version: Another test? Really? Yes. This time, it was for my python (coding) certificate. I have seen the previous "doomed expressions" of my friends, and now it was time for me. I took my laptop, and ready, set, sit down! 30 questions, 70 out of 100 to pass, the test seemed simple. However, the questions were the complete opposite of the ones I've expected. Instead of creativity and wit, it was about MCQ and guessing. I took the enitre 30 minutes and I couldn't finish my test. I had two things on my mind now: "70's a piece of cake, like listening to ABBA music", and "I'm not gonna get 70, just like how Billie Jean's not my lover". To my surprise, (I think) I got a 69.6666.... However, the test gratefully rounded my grade, and I got a 70! I was so shocked, overwhemled, and glad at the same time, and the same was to my new certificate, digitally. I could now stand up and relax at the same time!

Introduction: Who is June? (By Peter McGuire, definitely not the pen name of June, I mean it is...)

Unless you were living under a pineapple house (or not from BCC), you'd probably be familiar with June. He seems to show everything he has, wants, and hates, but he might be more mysterious than that. In fact, I have finally managed to collect 10 facts about June that get HARDER to collect and know gradually.

1. June has 2 siblings, both are twins. And by the way,

2. June seems to like everything, and that results in shorter passion-spans.

3. June has a seemingly endless passion for old music, games, and socializing, a nicer way of saying talking endlessly.

4. June takes some words seriously, too seriously sometimes! He subscribed to a newspaper just because of a recommendation, without even thinking about it!

5. June has an expertise in various places, but CODING? He made this website using it!!!

6. June actually is grateful and happy about a lot of stuff: family, money, health, and that golden yacht he owns in his game.

7. June is loyal to all (excluding close friends at times) but is pretty ambitious. Like, he goes to all of these competitions for fun!

8. Contrary to popular belief, June surprisingly has a thick resume, including multiple certificates, volunteering, and I might have to cross this one out.

9. Contrary to popular belief, June is not a Communist, Socialist, Robber (okay it only counts if you rob and don't return it after 10 seconds), nor is a crook.

10. Although June never touched Non-Asian soil, he is still interested too much in American stuff, such as Politics, Music, TV, and everything. Except for guns. He needs more than that.

11. Despite his younger age, June regularly listens to: ABBA, The Beatles, The Bangles, The Monkees, Bonnie Tyler, Culture Club, Rick Astley, Bon Jovi, Cyndie Lauper, Tears for Fears, Toto, Laura Branigan, Berlin, F.R. Davids, Phil Collins, Louis Armstrong, Madonna, Gloria Gaynor, Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, Air Supply, Lionel Richie, Tina Turner, Chicago, Aqua, Juice Newton, Olivia Newton-John, John Denvers, Neil Diamond, Blondie, Frank Sinatra, Bee Gees, George Michael, Wham!, Roxette, The Carpenters, Elton John, Sandra, A-Ha, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson. Sorry Elvis Prestley, I'm not that old!

The End.

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spongythedollyteapartyfan-blog · 2 years

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Two Rude Space technicians Talking over my conversation

A Short Story

by TIme lOrd squee fanfiction

the continual, weekly entries of, old and new fanficitons, if i forgoet a week, i will just load an old fanfiction,a nd retype it from previous adventures, cos they allways change, the concepts are all different

...

Spacely Gumpity had always loved crowded Cambridge with its bulbous, blushing beaches. It was a place where she felt ambivalent out of time and living not in the main time line.

She was a mean, cowardly, coffee drinker with skinny lips and ample toenails. Her friends saw her as an afraid, adventurous academic, but that was all a deception of her unning plan of world domination. Once, she had even made a cup of tea so hot it was LIT. That's the sort of woman he was.

Spacely walked over to the window and reflected on her beautiful surroundings. The clouds danced like partying horses.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Time Walker. Time was a callous time doctor with curvy lips and pointy boots.

Spacely gulped. She was not prepared for Time Doctor.

As Spacely stepped outside and Time Doctor came closer, she could see the silly glint in his eye.

"Look Spacely," growled Time, with a stingy glare that reminded Spacely of callous blue bottles. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want some more Time. You owe me 2797 pounds."

Spacely looked back, even more afraid and still fingering the tattered kettle. "Time, you must think I was born yesterday," she replied.

They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two lovely, loopy lizards eating at a very giving Halloween party, which had indie music playing in the background and two rude uncles talking to the beat.

Spacely studied Time's curvy lips and pointy toenails. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Spacely. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Time. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Spacely. "Now get your curvy lips out of here before I hit you with this tattered kettle."

Time looked active, his wallet raw like a raw, rough rock.

Spacely could actually hear Time's wallet shatter into 2797 pieces. Then the callous doctor hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of beer would calm Spacely's nerves tonight.

THE END

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nwdsc · 2 years

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(Natureza (produced, arranged & conducted by Claus Ogerman) | Joyce with Mauricio Maestro | Joyce Morenoから)

Natureza (produced, arranged & conducted by Claus Ogerman) by Joyce with Mauricio Maestro

Not long after the dawn of her career, as a teenager in Rio de Janeiro, Joyce was declared “one of the greatest singers” by Antonio Carlos Jobim. Yet despite reputable accolades and the fact that she has since recorded over thirty acclaimed albums, Joyce never quite achieved the international recognition of the likes of Jobim, João Gilberto and Sergio Mendes, all of whom became global stars after releasing with major labels in the US. There was a moment when it seemed Joyce might be on the cusp of an international breakthrough. While living in New York, Joyce was approached by the great German producer Claus Ogerman. Ogerman had already played a pivotal role in the development and popularisation of Brazilian music in the 1960s, recording with some of the all-time greats like Jobim and João Gilberto, as well as North American idols like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday and Bill Evans. "I met him in New York City, in 1977”, recalls Joyce. “I was living and playing there, and João Palma, Brazilian drummer who used to play with Jobim, introduced me to Claus. We had an audition, he liked what we were doing and decided to produce an album with us.” Featuring fellow Brazilian musicians Mauricio Maestro (who wrote/co-wrote four of the songs), Nana Vasconcelos and Tutty Moreno, and some of the most in-demand stateside players including Michael Brecker, Joe Farrell and Buster Williams, the recordings for Natureza took place at Columbia Studios and Ogerman produced the album, provided the arrangements and conducted the orchestra. But mysteriously, Natureza was never released, and what should have been Joyce’s big moment never happened. As Joyce remembers, “I returned home, but Claus and I remained in contact, by letters and phone calls. He was very enthusiastic about the album and tried to hook me up with Michael Franks. He wanted me to go back to NYC in order to re-record the vocals in English with new lyrics, which I actually wasn’t too happy about. But then I got pregnant with my third child and could not leave Brazil. And little by little our contact became rare, until I lost track of him completely. And that was it. I never heard from him again." While Claus was known to be something of an elusive character, the album’s disappearance might also have been a result of timing. The Brazilian craze was coming to an end, making way for disco and new wave at the end of the seventies, and Ogerman struggled to find a major label interested in a new Brazilian sensation. Additionally, as Joyce mentions, it wasn’t quite finished. Ogerman wanted to add finishing touches to the mix and to record alternative English lyrics for the US and international markets - a critical artistic difference between Joyce and Ogerman. As the military dictatorship’s grip on Brazil began to subside in the 1980s, Joyce had a handful of hits in her home county, including a tribute to her daughters ‘Clareana’, and the iconic ‘Feminina’ - an intergenerational conversation between mother and daughter about what it means to be a woman. But already a feminist pioneer, these successes were hard fought. Joyce had caused controversy as a nineteen-year-old when she became the first in Brazil to sing from the first-person feminine perspective, and the institutional sexism she faced was worsened by the dictatorship who would often censor her music. Even once the Junta was out of the way, Joyce found herself up against the male-dominated major record companies in Brazil, who sought to dictate her career and sexualise her image, before dropping her for refusing to play along. A few years after the success of her albums Feminina and Agua E Luz in Brazil, Joyce’s music began to find its way to the UK, Europe and Japan, and “Feminina” and “Aldeia de Ogum” became classics on the underground jazz-dance scenes of the mid to late-eighties and early-nineties. The full-length version of “Feminina” from the Natureza sessions was first heard on a Brazilian Jazz compilation in 1999 and “Descompassadamente” was licensed for a CD compiling the work of Claus Ogerman in 2002. Following these, word began to get out about an unreleased Joyce album with Claus Ogerman and the legend of Natureza grew. Forty-five years since it was recorded, Natureza finally sees the light of day, as Joyce intended: with her own Portuguese lyrics and vocals. Featuring the fabled 11-minute version of ‘Feminina’, as well as the never before heard ‘Coração Sonhador’ composed and performed by Mauricio Maestro, Natureza’s release is a landmark in Brazilian music history and represents a triumphant, if overdue victory for Joyce as an outspoken female artist who has consistently refused to bow to patriarchal pressure. ***Disclaimer! While “Feminina” and “Descompassadamente'' were mixed by legendary engineer Al Schmitt and mastered from the original master tapes, the remaining five tracks are unmixed. Due to significant deterioration of the master-tapes, the best audio source for these tracks was an unmixed tape copy Joyce had kept of the recordings. The best care has been taken in the restoration and mastering of this release, but the sound quality may differ from other releases on Far Out Recordings. We advise listening to sound clips before buying where possible. クレジット2022年9月30日リリース Joyce Moreno - Lead vocals, lead guitar (all tracks, except for ‘Coração Sonhador’ and ‘Ciclo da Vida’), rhythm guitar & vocals on ‘Ciclo da Vida’ Mauricio Maestro – Rhythm guitar & vocals on all tracks, lead vocals and guitar on ‘Coração Sonhador’ and ‘Ciclo da Vida’ Buster Williams - Double Bass João Palma - Drums (all tracks except for ‘Moreno’, ‘Pega Leve’ and ‘Descompassadamente’) Naná Vasconcelos - Percussion Tutty Moreno - Percussion, drums on ‘Moreno’ and ‘Pega Leve’ Joe Farrell - Flute (except for ‘Pega Leve’) Ion Muniz - Flute on ‘Pega Leve’ Michael Brecker - Tenor saxophone Mike Manieri – Vibraphone Warren Bernhardt - Keyboards Orchestra arranged and conducted by Claus Ogerman Produced by Claus Ogerman Recorded by Frank Laico at Columbia Studios, NYC, 1977 ‘Feminina’ and ‘Descompassadamente’ mixed by Al Schmitt

#2209 #reissue #WM

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jz10508 · 2 years

Text

PLEASE DON’T DM/ CHAT/ OR REACH OUT BEFORE READING THE FOLLOWING...!!

Hi, thank you for visiting my profile/ wanting to talk to me, and showing your interest in doing something together.

Now the basic question you would have, is who, what, where and why?

So here we go, have patience and stay focused its going to be long (both on the read & in the bed :P).

- I am a 32 year old Mallu (Malayalali) guy.

- I am single (Not Married)

- I am located in Bangalore (Sarjapura)

- I am not HUGE by any means (5.5 inch+ & 5.6 feet)

- I am hairy and Dark colored

- I am not a CalvinKline model, so dont expect a ripped out shredded body.

- I can keep any conversation engaging as long as you co-operate.

- I am not a Sex God, who can drill you all night, i am just a mortal, who will try my best to give you the pleasure you need.

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way coming to the meaty part.

I consider myself as a bisexual guy, having said that I don't prefer to bend over (sorry if that has put you off).

I am kinky (no to blood, puke, violence) and dominant in bed.

I don't indulge in fantasy chats, so please don't ping me asking to look at a random pic you got on the internet and tell you want i will do to her/him.

Just like any horny guy, I have a softs-pot for the female sensuality.

If you are a lady or a guy with female features/feminine vibe (u dnt need to be over the top pansy outside, but in bed) i already like you.. :-)

I have had my share of experience with Girls, Guys(Bottom/Sissies/ twink's) and couples and can confidently say, none of them left unhappy.

May be its my way of making it up for the lack of size (if you may say :P)

I don't show-off, neither i am going to share the details of the partners i have been with, here or anywhere* (unless we kick-it off the park).

I like to chat and have an arousing discussion on anything and everything under the sun.

I don't jump into the bed, no matter how hot and horny you are.

I take my time to know you, meet you and then take it forward.

Now, you may think, is all this worth it to meet this guy?

Well for that i will say, that is the risk you have to take, any who I aint going to thrust myself on you if you don't feel i ignite the spark in you.

So Cheers.

Hit Me Up if you find me interesting

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dominantslasherking · 2 years

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Hannibal Lecter with dominant Male S/o

My Stories are meant for the much more mature audience, 18+

Backstory: Hannibal has an Animalistic urge to make you his, god how possessive this cannibal is and he wants everyone to know who you belong to. POWER BOTTOM HANNIBAL.

His eyes glaze over your form as you were chatting with Will Graham. Hannibal knew Will didn't see you in any romantic light, not even in the slightest, but he knew you well,

Hannibal knew you wanted Will, the way your muscles would slightly tense when Will spoke to you and the way you got all flustered when he wanted to spend time with you.

Hannibal hated it- God, why couldn't you see? See that you needed someone better, someone more reformed and proper, someone to teach you how to really love.

A deep breath escaped your mouth watching as Alana Bloom greeted Will and peck him on the lips, "Oh, (Name) How lovely to see you again," Alana greeted her jaw slightly firm, knowing that you liked her boyfriend, but it was just a simple hunch, that she was indeed was worried about.

Hannibal took this as an instinctive to prove himself, that he can help you- He quickly parted his goodbyes to the group of people he was conversing with.

He stalked over to you as if you were the prey and he was the hunter, hunger evident in his eyes as he watched you draw closer and closer, finally he made it to you.

"Dr. Lecter-" Will spoke up, getting cut off by Hannibal completely ignoring him for a second, "Dr. Lecter??" Will spoke once more finally Hannibal drawing his eyes away from you, both of you looking at each other with intense eyes.

"Yes, Sorry, Will, and please call me Hannibal, only in our sessions you would be using my last name." Hannibal corrected Will giving a gentle nod, as Alana quickly greeted Hannibal before she began starting a conversation trying to break up Will's and (Name)'s conversation from earlier which they were bonding friendly from.

"Lovely party gathering you have here Hannibal, you always throw beautiful and graceful ones," Alana complemented, "Everyone seemed to dress nicely for your party- Oh- Well some people seemed to laze around." Alana's eyes snap to you, clearly taking a hit at your simple and plain outfit, which consisted of a long-sleeved white button-up shirt that had some buttons loose revealing your firm-toned chest and some black jeans.

Hannibal resisted the urge to grumble out a pleasureful groan at the sight, in fact, he didn't think you were being lazy with your outfit, he thought you were enticing with the way you dressed. "Mrs. Bloom, I would advise you to keep your unneeded remarks to yourself, its quite rude to say that about a guest, let alone a co-worker who is standing aside you." Hannibal gave a smile, as Alana froze in shock, her face blossoming into a scarlet red.

"But the simple matter is, I would refute your claim because I think Mr. (Last Name) here looks quite ravishing." Hannibal turned to you, not daring to hide his interest.

"Hannibal you always have a way with words," You responded, making Hannibal feel the giddy urge of jealousy diminishing as your attention was no longer on Will but, him. Finally.

"The on trays that you made for the guests, the one in the shape of roses, its rather uhm-" You paused, looking at Hannibal with a charming smile that always made him weak in the knees, not really but a metaphor of how he felt.

"They were very artistic." You finished noticing the way Hannibal always listened closely, unlike Will who would always lose track of what you were saying and daze off then chat with another person.

"Thank you, I do try my best." Hannibal firmly responded, side glancing at Will and Alana. "We- We would like to retire early..." Will spoke as at gently held onto his shoulder. "Have a good one, (Name) and Hannibal," Will spoke once more quickly taking away the embarrassed Alana.

For once, you didn't care that Will was leaving you hanging, you just felt refreshed to have a person really chat with you and actually listen for once.

"I know this may sound weird but...I notice that you always invite Will and Alana to your personal dinners--" Hannibal knew what you wanted to say, you wanted to be invited- You- You enjoyed talking to him- yes- perfect, he loved talking to you as well.

"Of course, you can join (Name), I will be hosting another next week." Hannibal's voice was softer than it was around others.

<<>><<>><<<<>>>><<<>>>><<<>>><<<<>>>>><<<>>><<>>>><<>>>>><<>>>

#hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal x you #hannibal lecter x you #hannibal imagine #hannibal lecter imagine #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal lecter x male reader #slasher x reader #slasher imagine #slasher imagines #slashers x read #slasher fanfiction #Power bottom Hannibal

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koitrash · 2 years

Text

The Dress

‘You burned so bright your flames engulfed me, your fire so hot I wanted it to annihilate me, along with everything you touched. And I thought, maybe a little selfishly, you couldn't possibly destroy the same heart you mended.

Could you?’

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Summary: You and Ellie break up and find each other again LMFAOOO THATS IT BUT ITS SO CUTE I SWEAR TRUST ME

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cursing, basically same as the game, jumping around chronologically

Word count: 8.2k (sorry lol)

A/N: Okay maybe im just really emotional after writing this but i actually love it so much i kinda didn't want to share it??? Idk it took weeks to write because i dunno it needed to be PERFECT. I tried a different way of storytelling here, kinda wanted the flashbacks to roll into the present time parts idk if i did it any justice but that was the thought behind it. This fic is very angsty and very fluffy and im emotional so listen to some sad break up songs and some cute falling in love songs :)

edit: okay yall totally have to listen to 'Elliot's song' by Dominic Fike and Zendaya during the first kiss scene i'm BEGGING YOU TO ITS SO CUTE

Also this was def inspired by Saintrvckwell and Thelastoflesbians bc i adore their writing so much it FUELED me and obviously 'the dress' by dijon started all of this so everyone should def listen to it cos it's an amazing song

The gravel crushed under Ellie’s battered and clearly loved converses as she stared at the old house at the end of the street, some flowers scattered on the porch with the sunset falling under the roof, painting the clouds hues of orange and pink. She couldn’t pinpoint her feelings at the time but she knew how she was supposed to feel. Acceptance, forgiveness, maybe even some hope. Sure, she was still working on feeling that way about Joel but there was still something back in Jackson. Something she left here long ago. Someone she couldn't muster up the courage to talk to in almost 2 years. A feeling of guilt she couldn't shake, no matter who she killed, who she avenged, who she forgave.

She fiddled with her hands and for a split second she thought about leaving. To go find the next adventure waiting for her while she left open cuts unhealed and words left unsaid. She thought about how time heals

all wounds. About how this person probably moved on, living life just like when Ellie was never in it. But she spent a lot of time thinking about this, too much time. So much time that before she knew it her feet led her right back here. Standing in front of Joel’s old house, the ghost of her two favorite people talking on the porch faded into a stale memory. So she listened to that deafening voice in her head, turning on her heels to leave until she caught sight of that painfully familiar fabric dancing in the wind, connected to a painfully familiar body. One she knew all too well.

Ellie’s fingers roamed over the soft fabric of a dress and she thought about how much you would like it. How pretty it would look on you. So she picked it up and stuffed it in her bag before Jesse called her to show something he found. What it was, she still didn't know because all she could think about was how beautiful you would look in that dress. You two had been dating for a couple of months and she thought the gesture would be completely too sappy but she was so head over heels for you she didn't care.

She was practically strumming with excitement as she sat on her couch, a box resting beside her, waiting for you to finally knock on the door. To which she would wait three seconds before opening because she didn't want to seem like she was actually waiting at the door like a love sick puppy. Not that you would have noticed because that was the day you held a cassette tape behind your back, eager to show Ellie your find. She swung the door open to see you beaming back at her.

“The Sick Habit.” You smiled, waiting for Ellie to question your seemingly random statement.

“Why do you and Dina keep calling it that? It's The Slick Habit.” She grinned back at you, stepping aside to let you in.

“Well it doesn't matter because I finally found a tape so you could listen to it.” The small box almost flew out of your hands from how fast you whipped it out. Ellie’s jaw immediately dropped as she walked closer, grabbing the plastic from your hands.

“No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way because I’m the best girlfriend ever and fucking awesome.” You pointed your fingers in the air in a ‘matter of fact’ kind of way with a shit eating grin plastered on your face.

“Where the hell did you find this?”

“There’s a music store over by the old ski resort, Joel took me by it today on patrol.” You didn't miss the falter in the girl's smile at the mention of her father figure. Ellie moved to the cassette player on the dresser as you sat on the couch, a ribbon tied box tucked in the corner caught your attention before Ellie sat beside you. She distracted you quickly, handing you an ear bud, silly grin of excitement back on her face. You listened but you couldn't say you were paying too much attention because Ellie was sitting so close to you her warm breath danced on your cheek and you were getting hotter and hotter every second. Sure, you guys were dating for sometime now but the butterflies in your stomach everytime you two were close never went away. She glanced over to you, smile still on her face as her head bopped slightly to the music.

“Do you like it?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Your voice wavered, a tad bit breathless but you couldn't help it.

“Okay then why are you looking at me like that?” Her shoulder nudged you.

“You're just… so pretty.” The words left your mouth barely over a whisper, like it was a secret between just you two. Her brows shot up, surprised at the sudden compliment.

“Pretty?” She questioned, hand moving to pull the headphone out her ear as her eyes glossed over your features.

“Yeah pretty.” You leaned forward, elbow resting on your knee as your head laid in your hand now getting a better look at your beautiful girlfriend. “Sorry, does adorable sound better to you?” This earned a laugh from Ellie. “How bout’ cute? Angelic?”

“Angelic - oof, yeah I totally see that.” Sarcasm oozed from her voice and this time it was your turn to laugh.

“Ya’ know when I first saw you I almost asked if it hurt when you fell from heaven.”

“Y/n, If you said that I would have told Maria to kick you out of Jackson.”

You threw your head back, throat bubbling with laughter before your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to quiet yourself.

“Why do you do that?” Your girlfriend watched you, brows creased like you were some puzzle she couldn't solve.

“Do what?” Her sudden concern made you anxious. Did you do something she didn't like unknowingly? Did it upset her?

“Cover your mouth when you laugh.”

You sputtered a bit, unsure how to answer.

“Stop that.”

“What?”

“Covering your smile. It's cute.” She turned away and you almost missed the soft pink flush of her cheeks.

“What are you so sappy about?”

“Shut up.” She scoffed, a dimple poking out slightly and you adored her soft, smug smile. You decided to joke it off because although you loved telling your girlfriend every single thing you loved about her she wasn't always as verbally lovey dovey with you. Ellie liked to touch you more than she liked to say how she wanted to. She liked pet names. She liked cuddling in the morning. She liked to help you with things you were stressed with. She liked to play the guitar for you. She liked that you enjoyed just sitting next to her sometimes. So what she didn't say she showed and that was your favorite thing about her.

And now she was showing you a box. The same red ribboned wrapped box that was sitting in the corner of the couch before. You were so consumed in your thoughts of admiration of Ellie you didn't even notice her grab it.

“What's this?” You asked and she just pushed the box to you, a small smile on her features. You grabbed it, pulling the strings to let you open it, revealing a piece of clothing. Your eyebrows lifted as your fingers glided across the soft fabric. It was a beautiful dress, one that you would see on the mannequins of seemingly fancy stores. None of them were held together well enough to withstand the harsh conditions of the new world so you never got to wear one but you dreamed of it. And here it was, clamped between your hands, waiting for you to show it off.

“I found it a while ago but I wasn't sure how to give it-'' Ellie stuttered in front of you, fiddling with her fingers like she always does when she's nervous. You immediately soothed her thoughts, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her in close. Her arms hugged your waist, just like they always do and you wanted to stay here forever.

“Thank you El. It's beautiful.”

The dress fit you perfectly, complimenting your curves in all the right ways even years after wearing it for the first time. Ellie loved that dress on you, the way she looked at you in it gave you a euphoric high. Every single time. And this time was no exception. She stared at you down the street and you were more shocked it was actually her in the flesh. You hadn't seen her in years since the Seattle trip and last you heard about her, she was headed on a suicide mission to Santa Barbara.

You were heading to the church for the spring dance when you saw a glimpse of her familiar frame standing in the middle of the road. You'd been helping Maria set up for the annual dance since her and Tommy broke things off you kinda became her right hand man. Dina came back to Jackson after Ellie left since taking care of an entire farm and raising a baby was understandably too much for one person to handle. Ellie stayed with her after Jesse’s passing to help out but you never could bring yourself to visit them at the farm, still unable to see her again. But you loved Dina so you were more than happy when she decided to come back, eager to help out in any way you could.

The Seattle aftermath was the most painful experience you ever faced. Ellie couldn't stomach coming back to Jackson so after the break up you were more happy than you'd care to admit that she wouldn't step foot here anymore. Her blind rage put more of a mental strain on you than you'd expect but Ellie changed a lot after Joel's death. She wasn't the girlfriend you once had and although you would follow her to the end of the earth you still had boundaries, morals you wouldn't cross and that line blurred for her.

Dina’s face was twisted, full of anger, maybe even disappointment when she told you Ellie left to finish what she couldn't in Seattle. You were angry too but you knew your ex girlfriend well. You knew this wasn't your decision to make, there was no convincing her to rethink and you had no faith she would even listen to you. The only thing you wanted to do - could do was distract yourself. Become completely engulfed in helping other people. Maybe it helped satisfy the need to take the weight off a random person's back since you couldn't do it for the one person who needed it the most. You tried not to think about how Ellie was probably dead, gone for good. You didn't let your mind wander to what you would have said to her if you saw her again. You didn't cry yourself to sleep in your cold bed wishing she was still next to you. Because Ellie wasn't coming back and it took you almost two years to finally come to terms with it.

So to see her staring at you with the same utter admiration sparking in her beautiful green eyes was jarring to say the least. Your head felt like it just got knocked off and screwed on backwards because your thoughts were confusing, feeling happy, relieved, angry, maybe even a little sad but your legs moved on their own. Your body naturally gravitated to her, telling your limbs to wrap their arms around her neck and feel her arms hug your waist like they used to but your brain still felt betrayal, an unsettling feeling to stay far away from her.

“Ellie.” Fell from your lips like you were speaking to a ghost. And she only stared back and you knew she was scared, like any word she muttered was going to have you reeling back so you actually walked this time. Because your body knew that's what it's supposed to do when she made that face. Your body wanted to hold her, make that face go away, replaced with a warm smile. The smile she always gave you.

Ellie watched you step closer, hesitating for a second before taking another step but she was frozen in place. The one person she couldn't forgive herself for for years was standing a couple of yards away from her and she had to catch her breath because for a second there she almost forgot how beautiful you were. You took another step and she watched your dress, the one she gifted you all those years ago, flow in the wind so angelically she actually thought there was a heaven for a second. Another step and she felt a pull to you. A familiar pull because her body naturally wanted to hold you, just like always. And it wasn't until she finally moved her leg, just a little bit and you were running towards her, like that movement was confirmation she was real. She opened her arms and your warm body pressed against her, arms wrapping around her neck and she melted. Everything melted in your hold. Her anxiety, fears, regrets, guilt. All of it disappeared like it was never there to begin with.

And all she could do was mutter “I'm sorry.” as she buried her face in your neck, consumed by your scent.

And all you could do was hold her like she was going to turn into dust if you let go because for the first time in almost two years breathing came easy again.

But your anger didn't just fizzle out the way you thought. You weren't completely healed like you wanted. You couldn't look at the love of your life and say you didn't feel anything. Any hate, any betrayal, any longing or love.

“I couldn’t do it.” You felt her warm tears roll down your nape as she curled into your neck, trembling slightly as you held her and you couldn't hold the lump in your throat down anymore. This Ellie, that was now cradled in your arms, was who you fell in love with. She was soft, felt empathy for the lives she took but more importantly this Ellie here with you now was tired. She was tired of the constant fight with herself. With her past actions, her rage and fury. “It's okay.” Was the only thing you got to muster up the words to say. You didn't know how to comfort her, she'd been through so much shit you felt words didn't penetrate the way they used to. “Joel wouldn't have wanted you to Ellie, it's okay.”

“Yeah.” She muttered between soft sobs, “I know.” Ellie didn't cry much. She was always one to shed tears in private, never to show she wasn't as strong as she tried to be, wanted to be. You felt her grip on you loosen, signaling it was time to let go so you did, pulling back to see her red rimmed eyes and pink nose. God, you missed Ellie so much it almost hurt to see her again as your ex. Her hair was shorter now, cut at weird angles that you figured she did herself and somehow still managed to look amazing. She sent you a ghost of a smile and you noted all the new scars her face wore now. And before either one of you guys could say another word someone called out to you.

You couldn't ignore the way your heart sank as reality came crashing back down, hearing your girlfriend call your name somewhere behind you. It's been almost two years and you didn't want to be alone forever. There was nothing wrong with your current partner. You two communicated well. She was sweet at times. The sex was … good.. enough… okay, closer to below satisfactory. But deep down you knew she was only there to fill in the gaping hole Ellie left in your heart. And you knew no one could ever replace, or replicate the pure love you two had for each other.

But you couldn't just throw what you have now away for someone who left you already.

So you turned to your girlfriend, sniffing and forcing a smile as you raised your arm, welcoming her to the conversation. She stood beside you like she normally does but it felt so wrong. But you wrapped your arm around her like you normally do, and she smiled at you like she always does, like Ellie used to always do.

“This is Lana, my girlfriend.” You swallowed thickly, turning back to see Ellie’s crushed expression. “Lana, meet Ellie.” You chose not to state your relationship status to her. Your partner greeted her with a warm smile, completely oblivious to her past relations with you since she was fairly new to Jackson. “Maria needs you to help finish the prep for the dance.” Lana stated clearly. There was nothing wrong with Lana, she was sweet to you but she was rather strict, maybe a little boring. You nodded before she pulled away promptly, like her loving gesture was a part of a script.

“Have you seen anyone else?” You asked Ellie, who was now fiddling with her fingers again.

“No, I just got here.” She answered. Her voice was soft, barely there, like if she spoke too loud the words would fall apart.

“Dina and Maria are inside.” You threw a hand back towards the general direction of the church. “If you want to talk to them you can come with me. We can catch up after I finish helping.” A small, forced smile played on Ellie’s face at your last words. You wanted to talk to Ellie so bad. There were so many things you wanted to say, things you wanted to know, but the only questioned that blared in your head was;

Why did she leave when she promised she never would?

You gripped Ellie’s freezing hand as the cold white snow crushed underneath your steps and she sent you a worried look before you pushed the church doors open. You two had been dating for the past two weeks and almost no one knew about it. Not that you needed everyone to know but Ellie had just confessed to feeling uneasy to be seen with you in public, unsure on how people would take it, or maybe how a certain person would take it. To which you replied ‘They have bigger fish to fry than two girls kissing.’

But here you were, walking into the winter dance, hand in hand with the love of your life and you couldn't be more proud. You smiled brightly enough for the both of you as the live music filled your ears and the warm string lights lit your face. You turned to Ellie, who’s look of doubt melted into a smile before turning back to see Dina and Jesse standing at the bar which you two made a beeline for.

“If it isn’t Jackson's new love birds.” Jesse joked, already passing Ellie a cup filled with whiskey, just how she likes it.

“Please, I had to give her a pep talk before we even held hands here.” You scoffed, waving your intertwined fingers in the air and earning a laugh from Dina.

“You guys are so cute. I like you way better than that Cat chick.” Dina half joked.

“I knew you didn't like her!” Ellie finally spoke.

“I'm taking that as a compliment.” You threw your free hand up.

“Trust me it is.” Dina leaned in close, a beautiful smile playing on her face and you couldn't help smiling brighter yourself.

“No it's not.” Ellie started again.

“Don't defend your ex. Learned that the hard way.” Jesse, thankfully, cut her off before she could dig herself a hole. You laughed watching her mouth drop and her face twist defensively before she sighed in defeat, taking a swig of her drink.

The only time you let go of her hand was when Dina invited you to dance, which you gladly took now that you had some alcohol in your system making your body feel loose. Ellie was too busy talking to Jesse about some new video game he found on patrol so you slipped away from her with a reassuring smile.

Dina always danced like no one was watching. She always moved so freely it was honestly relieving to be around her. And it helped that she was so supportive of you and Ellie's relationship. You laughed and twirled with her until your sides hurt and her face was red from laughing so hard. And maybe because you two were so rowdy the band played a slow song next and everyone around broke off into cuddled up couples.

So now here you were, standing in front of Ellie again as she leaned on the bar, smiling to you and you smiled back, reaching for her hand. She watched you, pure admiration on her face as you asked an empty question. “Wanna’ dance?” But you dragged her to the dance floor before she could answer, moving her arm to wrap around your waist and draping yours over her shoulders.

“Okay, which couple do you think is gonna’ last to the next dance?” Your smile grew as the question fell from your lips and Ellie scoffed.

“Definitely not Robbie and Caitlyn.” She nodded her head to the couple swaying awkwardly together, like their parents forced them to dance and you giggled.

“What? I can't see that at all.” Your voice oozed with sarcasm as you glanced around the room, searching for your next suspect. “I think Margot and Keith won't make it.”

“Aren't they married with a kid?”

“Well sure.” You laughed and she chuckled a bit. “I had a dream a while ago that he was gay and in love with Seth.”

“That sounds like a nightmare.” A belly laugh erupted from your lips, making you double over, pressing your forehead on Ellie's shoulder as you giggled and she joined in.

You couldn't describe the feeling you felt at that moment. Excited to be so in love with your fairly new girlfriend so quickly. Sure you guys were super close before but to now be together. It was a completely different feeling altogether. To be overwhelmed with the urge to protect and care for her. But to also be scared. So scared you'd lose her. Scared the world might steal her from you. Scared you wouldn't be enough to care for her, fulfill all her needs that you wanted more than anything to satisfy. Because being with Ellie gave you a whole new meaning to life. A new meaning that you never wanted to let go of.

And she was here holding you like she'd never let go. Your eyes met hers as her face melted into a look of longing but appreciative and you fell into the trance of her big mesmerizing green eyes. Your heart felt like it was going to crawl up your throat when she made the move to slightly lean into you. You knew what was coming, it was about damn time honestly. You and Ellie had been best friends for so long, secretly pining for each other so the sexual tension was enough to clear the room but both of you guys were too shy, too timid, too afraid to fuck up to make the first move. But you were tired of waiting.

Your hand cupped her jaw, guiding her lips to yours as you swallowed down the nervous jitters that were about to hurl out your mouth. Ellie didn't waste any time either, pulling your hips close to hers as she closed the distance, lips meeting yours in the most delightful way possible. It felt like the entire room went silent; the only sound was your heartbeat matching hers. If you were honest, you wish you could have paid more attention to how soft her lips were or how her hand ran up your spine as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. The only thing you could think about was how perfect she was. How perfect you two were together. How she would forever bear your soul as she was now forever engraved in your heart. And you wanted nothing more than to stay by her side, no matter how painful it may be.

You pulled back, the sound of your lips smacking apart filling your ears as you stared back at her, smile tugging at the ends of her mouth.

One look at her and you could feel it, so passionate and full of fire it could burn the entire room down.

It's us against the world.

Ellie fingers grazed the bare skin of your lower back, the parts that your dress exposed. She watched you, studying your expression, trying her hardest to figure out what you were thinking in a moment like this.

You had finished the prep for the dance some time ago and Ellie had talked to both Maria and Dina before retreating to the bar to have a drink. You didn't know what her intentions were for coming back to Jackson but you decided to just enjoy her company while she was here and resume your normal life once she inevitably left.

Ellie's eyes trailed to you, watching as you spoke to your girlfriend, which pained her to acknowledge but she couldn't stop you from living your life however you wished. Sure, it was a little surprising but she shouldn't be feeling the twing of betrayal that was festering in her gut. Not after what she put you through, betrayal was the last thing she should be feeling right now. Her eyes darted to watch the brown liquid swirl in the cup cradled in her hand before taking another gulp, desperate to take her mind off the guilty feeling.

Across the room your girlfriend was telling you some shit that you could care less about. The relationship was so stale you could honestly break up with her right now. But you knew that'd be reckless. With Ellie in town your heart tugged to who it knew best, who it longed for but your mind knew you liked to remember the good parts. Forget the things you didn't want to acknowledge. The painful subjects that tarnished the relationship.

It still puzzled you; how you could be so madly in love with someone and become a stranger with them again. How your everything could say the things they said, act the way they acted, be unable to fix things because she was the glue that put you back together so you couldn't wrap your head around how the two of you couldn't fix this.

And it burned a hole in Ellie’s head ever since it happened. The scene playing over and over again that shattered the one thing she still had in life. You. She regretted the words she said more than anything but as she watched you now, mending yourself back together from knives she threw, it crossed her mind that maybe you guys weren't supposed to be together. Because you were so perfect to her, she felt her rage and grief ridden anger pour into your soul. And she wanted nothing more than to stop it, get away from you to keep you the pure angel she always knew, untainted by her past.

Maybe that's why she left that night to Seattle with Dina without telling you.

But now you were back in her arms. Because you dragged her to the dance floor, hand in hand like lovers at the winter dance, getting ready to share their first kiss. And you wrapped her arms around your waist as you leaned in close, and Ellie finally felt like she was home again. In almost two years she finally felt at peace in your arms.

“Guess who lasted?” You smiled at her, knowing she'd remember your running joke.

“Don't tell me Keith and Seth made it work out.” Her smile reflected yours, which was growing in size by the second. And as much as you didn't want to admit it, being back in Ellie’s arms was the most safe you'd felt in a really long time.

Your mouth dropped like Ellie had just told the most shocking secret of all time. “Ellie! Keith is happily married to Caitlyn! With kids! Get your mind out of the gutter!” You giggled, swaying to the music of the band and she also joined in, just like she used it. But her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, like she was holding on to something that wouldn't let her be happy. You studied her face again, wanting to burn it in your mind because after you two broke up you spent so much time trying to get rid of her face you forgot how beautiful it was.

“I really missed you, Y/n.” Ellie spoke softly but the words still felt like daggers. And she knew that she shouldn't be saying that but she really did miss you. So much.

“Ellie, what are you doing here?” You asked, ignoring the painful statement she just made and the swaying of your hips together slowed.

“I uh,” She paused, eyes darting around the room as she chewed the inside of her lip for a second. “I forgot something here. Something really important.”

“How important can it be if you left it for so long?” You questioned taking a guess on what she could have possibly left for almost two years.

“More important than she probably thinks she is.”

“Ellie,” You sighed now that she confirmed exactly what you were thinking and your heart sunk to your gut, swimming in the pool of emotions. “What do you want from me? I'm not going to leave all of this behind just because you missed me. That's not even fair.” You felt the anger bubbling in your throat, the painful memories of your breakup flooding your mind.

“I-” Ellie sputtered for a moment, desperately trying to search for the right words. “I'm not asking you to leave with me, Y/n. I just wanted to see you again.” Your arms fell from her shoulders, hands resting on her biceps that you could tell were more toned than you remembered.

“You don't get to do this Ellie. You can't just waltz back here saying ‘I miss you’ n’ shit when it's been years.” You tried to keep your voice hushed so the other couples swaying to the slow music around you couldn't hear but it was getting harder and harder by the second. Her hands fell from your waist and you took a step back. You glanced back at your girlfriend to see her bored, stale, unamused look on her face that never seems to leave and you felt absolutely no sense of comfort from it. It wasn't like looking at Ellie, you always felt an overwhelming sense of home when you looked at her but with your girlfriend you never felt that.

So you let your legs lead you. You walked, heart pounding out of your chest as your mind ran a million miles a minute. And you kept walking, feeling the wind brush your exposed legs, as gravel crushed under your heels.

Leave it up to Ellie to casually stroll back into your life after you finally mended your broken heart, like she just went out for a morning jog. Casually letting her arms wrap around your waist as she whispered sweet nothings into your ear like you two were lovers again. Knowing that you were always weak for her and you'd always be. You'd always be wrapped around her finger and her wrapped on yours. Because you two were soulmates, spirits wandering the earth waiting to finally meet each other and being inseparable ever since.

Up until Joel’s passing.

And your legs stopped, planting you at the cold, hard grave of Joel Miller, Jesse’s grave only a couple spots down. You sighed, hearing the tale tell footsteps of Ellie behind you.

Your lungs crushed as you frantically looked around for an exit as you walked close to the edge of the bombed store in the mall, overrun with WLFs. You glanced back to see Ellie, wide eyed and dripping with water before you pointed.

“Okay it's this way. We can get to the marina through here.”

“What? No, we're taking their boat.” Ellie shook her head before pointing back at the direction you assumed their boat was.

“You heard them right? They were talking about Tommy.”

She paused for a moment, eyes flickering between yours as she tried to rationalize her train of thought. “We don't know that.”

“Who else is it going to be?” Your voice dipped to speak in hushed tones as your brows furrowed.

“If it is him, he'd be gone by the time we get there. Abby is where he's headed so if we just-”

“Ellie, what if he's in trouble? We came here to get him.”

“He can take care of himself.”

“Jesus christ.”

“If you want to split up fine but if you do this, I'm not saving your ass again.”

“Are you serious right now? You would let me die over a fuckinh boat? You've got to be kidding me.” At the time you didn't know those words would sting as bad as they did, burning themselves into your memories. And you waited, hoping, praying Ellie would take it back. She'd say 'That's not what I meant.’ or ‘I didn't mean it like that.’ but they ever came. She only shrugged, face twisted like you was just supposed to be okay with that, almost baffled that you weren't.

“What the fuck.” You walked back, pacing for a second before she finally spoke up.

“Y/n, we should be going for Abby and you know it.”

“Dina is fucking pregnant Ellie! We have to go back to Jackson and you know it.”

She groaned, irritation growing quickly with the time ticking and opportunities going down the drain. “I don't have time for this.”

“You just said you'd let me die for a fucking boat.” You said breathlessly because there was no way she didn't deny it. You almost refused to believe she didn't take it back.

“You're just going to let her get away with it?” You looked up at Ellie, her expression grim. “She fucking killed Joel.”

“I want her dead as much as you do Ellie but you have to prioritize.” You walked up to her, your cold hands reaching out to grip her arms, hoping that might ground her. “You know I would follow you everywhere you go, to the moon and back, but are you going to put your friends life at risk - shit, your fucking girlfriend’s life at risk for revenge? Think about everyone you've hurt so far. The people we've killed already. If you keep going-”

“I don't care.”

Ellie’s sanity was slipping faster and faster, replaced by the pure fury of revenge. You knew why she wanted, so badly, to avenge Joel's death. You knew, but that didn't mean you could toss aside your morals and you honestly didn't think Ellie would either. The fact was; it was eating her alive and you could tell. Ellie would never put getting to Abby over your life. It was always you and her against the world and before this you thought you'd do anything for her and she was testing those limits. Part of you felt guilty, like you weren't doing enough but Ellie was on a path of fire, burning down everything she touched in her rage and you've never seen that side of her. You've never seen this side of her.

It was kinda hot for a while, watching her kill ruthlessly added fuel to your fire once you and Jesse caught up to them on the second day. Then it dipped into just being attractive to watch her, till she wasn't doing it to protect you anymore. The times where she would get so wrapped up in killing as many WLFs as possible, releasing her anger and paying no mind to where you were, then it started to get concerning. She was losing her purpose and right now proved it.

It was sad to watch honestly. It pained you knowing there was nothing you could say to get her to open her eyes to what she's doing. Nothing. You sighed, looking back at the boat and knowing how many people she’d have to kill to get it and you couldn't do it anymore. The last three WLFs begged for their life as you slit their throat and you watched one of them on their knees, crying, pleading, over and over and over, for Ellie to let them go. And she did it anyway.

You sighed, letting your hands cup her cheeks, hers met your wrists and you both knew what had just happened. Her cold eyes met yours as they melted, tears rimming her big round eyes but not enough to fall. You swallowed down the lump in your throat before you spoke again.

“Okay.” Your voice came out soft, trembling slightly. “I really hope you make it.” On the surface it seemed like you were wishing her well, hoping she was coming back to you alive and safe but you both knew she was losing herself. You hoped Ellie would make it through whatever hell she was bound to be faced with.

But Ellie never came back to you after Seattle. She was never really herself again, no matter how much you two tried to work it out she was just a shell of her former self. But you truly believed she was your soulmate and you'd still do anything for her, so you two tried. You tried so hard to let go of what happened in Seattle but it always felt like the relationship was strained, like a ticking time bomb.

A couple of days after Seattle, after you buried Jesse’s body, you and Ellie finally talked. And maybe it wasn't exactly the right time for a talk since she was too busy harboring all the guilt for the Seattle trip and you were mourning the loss of one of your best friends, survivor's guilt lingering in the shadows of your mind. But you two hadn’t spoken to each other since you got back and the air was always tense when you guys were together. Ellie didn't sleep at your place like she did when Joel died, because that was the only place she could actually get some rest for the first couple nights. Instead she stayed at Dina’s house, nursing her back to health and helping out with the pregnancy. You visited a couple of times but the aura around you two changed, now off-putting and uncomfortable, so you only came when she wasn't there.

Ellie had showed up to your house exactly four days after you guys got back, her face grim and lifeless, all the color drained from her cheeks and you could tell she hadn't been sleeping, not that you had much luck either.

“Me and Dina are leaving Jackson.” She announced to you and all you could do was blink at her.

“Do you want me to come?” You settled on asking, secretly hoping the answer you were anticipating didn't come.

“I think we need some time to ourselves.” She answered slowly like that was going to make the we-are-officially-breaking-up blow any softer. “I just can't think straight here. It's too painful.”

“Painful around me?” You rolled your tongue inside your cheek, avoiding eye contact with her.

“Painful - around everything.”

“Okay.” Your eyes burned from the tears that were threatening to roll down your face but you were tired of crying. You were tired of feeling so awful all the time.

“I love you Y/n.” Ellie started and you glanced to the floor, sniffing hard and biting down on the inside of your lip because for whatever reason that made it feel like you still had control of something. “Yeah,” The word fell from your lips and you swore they weren't even yours. “I know.” Your voice shaky as you finally made eye contact with her red rimmed ones. She wasn't crying so you swallowed back your tears, blinking them away.

“I hope you find what you're looking for Ellie.” Was the last thing you said to her and you thought maybe it's for the best. Maybe you were wrong and she wasn't your soulmate. Maybe she was just put in your life to teach you what love really was and if that was the case she did her job, and she did it extremely well.

Because you loved her so much you almost hated her.

So maybe that's why you felt so confused when you saw her again. Maybe that's why your thoughts were a whirlpool of emotions that left you feeling everything all at once, after not having to put much thought into everything else, helping people, doing what Maria asked of you, dating the most bland woman on planet earth. It was all easy, so simple you didn't have to think anymore. Ellie coming back into your life made you think. It made all of those wonderful, exhilarating moments where you felt the most alive you've ever felt rush back into your mind. But right now you didn't want to think. You wanted to know.

“Did you ever find it?” You asked, seemingly to the open air around you as your fingers grazed the cold concrete of the grave labeled ‘Joel Miller’.

“Yeah.” Ellie's voice called back and you turned around to finally meet her pained eyes again. She truly had the most mesmerizing face you've ever seen, even when it's twisted so joylessly.

“Was it worth it? Are you happy?” The questions came rushing out your mouth like a broken dam, releasing all the blood from the open wounds she left.

“No.” She stepped closer, “I should of never left you Y/n, I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it, I couldn't face you after Seattle.” You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you pondered if you really wanted to ask your next question.

“Do you still love me?” You couldn't look at her. You couldn't look at the face of who you longed for, for years, and ask if they loved you because you really couldn't tell if you wanted to know that answer. You didn't know how you'd react if she said no. Truthfully, you knew fully how much it would shatter your soul but the question was already in the air and the seconds that passed felt like hours before she responded.

“There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't think of you. I love you so much, you can't even understand.” Ellie spoke and her voice faltered a bit.

“You know what's crazy? I would toss everything I've built, the things I love, to be by your side again.” This time tears really did start running down your cheeks and you remembered, strangely enough, how warm they are. How warm tears hold enough comfort to make you unravel, feeling bare and vulnerable by a simple stream of water on your cheek.

“You shouldn't do that. I shouldn't of come here. You have a life. It was selfish of me to-”

“But I want to. I want to leave with you. I would want nothing more than to leave with you right here, right now Ellie.” You spoke but emotions are such a strange thing, your tears started rolling faster, so fast you had to take a second to catch your breath. “I spent so much time trying to forget about you, get your face outta’ my head, stop having those stupid words repeat over and over. And for some reason as soon as I saw you again it was like my body just knew.”

Ellie’s warm, familiar hand rested on your shoulder and you turned back to her, letting your body step close. Her arms wrapped around you, like they always do, and you melted in her hold, like you always do. She sniffed against you and you thought about how this world is cruel and unfair but you would run around it twice to just stay here in Ellie’s arms.

“Where are you planning on going?” Your voice was muffled into her shoulder.

“I don't know. Anywhere but here.” She let out a tight, airy laugh.

“So we're just gonna roam the earth together?”

“I don't really care where we go as long as you're with me.”

“Did Santa Barbara make you more sappy or something?” You laughed, leaning away from her to see her pink flushed cheeks which only made you laugh even more. You'd think after you travel all this way to see your lover again you wouldn't get flustered so easily but that was Ellie. It's always been Ellie.

“Oh come on, it's been like two years since I've seen you!” Her smooth, soft laughter filled the air along with yours. “So uh, what about Lana?”

“I doubt she'd even noticed I ran off with you.” Your stomach twisted thinking about the aftermath of the reckless stunt you were about to pull with Ellie but at this point you didn't even care.

“Really? She seems a little - uh-,”

“Strict? Boring? Stickler for the rules?” You cheesed, already knowing Ellie’s thoughts, not that it was that hard to figure out.

“How did you even end up with her?” She chuckled, letting her arms fall from your back as she turned back to the graveyard.

“I dunno, a distraction maybe? She’s got nothing on you though.”

“Well I could of told you that.”

“So what stopped you? In Santa Barbara, I mean. With Abby.” You asked and she sighed, visibly slouching as she looked over Joel's grave again.

“I thought if I killed her I could finally forgive myself. I mean- she was hanging on a fucking pillar and I was still thinking about how if I do this, I can finally come back to Jackson, finally sleep, or talk about Joel again. Or get to see you.” A soft, nostalgic smile rested on her lips before she frowned again. “I dunno’. Back in Seattle you looked at me, like you didn't even recognize me and on the beach I thought about Joel. He used to tell me,” She started waving her hands around. “Things happen and we move on.’ and I would think about how stupid that was.”

You wanted to make a comment about how impulsive she was for not listening to the wise old man's words, or how you wanted to murder Tommy when you were told he went to tell Ellie where Abby was, but you sat quietly instead, nodding your head to encourage her to keep talking. “But he was right. Things happen and we move on because if you don't, you'll never recognize yourself again. Would of been nice for him to add that part on, maybe I would of listened.” She scoffed.

“No you wouldn't.” You smiled, a short chuckle falling from your lips.

“I said maybe.” Her smile reflected yours.

“You still haven't learned your lesson of wearing canvas sneakers in the snow.’

“It happened like, twice.”

“El, it happened like five times. I know because I was a little impressed your toes didn't have frostbite. “

“Well, be prepared to be even more impressed because I lost my boots a while ago.”

“Oh my god. We are finding you another pair.”

“I think I've been doing pretty well so far.”

“What is wrong with you?” Your cheeks hurt from how hard you were smiling and you watched, under the soft light of the lamp post, Ellie’s unforgettable dimple pop out for the first time in forever.

You honestly couldn't understand love. You couldn't understand how someone could be so perfect for you in all the right ways and still leave them because of the small things. You couldn't understand how for some reason, some strange, bizarre, stupid reason it was all worth it. Everything you and Ellie went through, the aftermath, the experiences, the tears, the adrenaline rush, the fall, the arguments, the makeups, the makeouts, it all had this way of twisting the dark, cruel world around you and turning it into the most beautiful, breathtaking place. Because that's what love did. It confused you. It made you think. It changed you, in ways you couldn't imagine.

And there was a girl feeling the same exact way you were, although she would never say it but you knew her like the back of your hand. Which was weird because humans are supposed to be unpredictable, but for whatever reason you always knew Ellie. You always understood her. You always wanted to stay by her side.

“Promise to stay by my side?” Your hand met hers, fingers curling in between hers and she smiled back at you.

“Always.” Her other hand reached for your cheek as she placed a quick, sweet kiss to your forehead because she knew you always loved those.

“I’ll never leave you again.”

I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i did, truly one of my favorites lol. Also i feel like Ellie really isn't one of much words, hence why she journals all the time so with that being said i didn't know how much she would really say about her thought process in SB???? Bc i could fully go into a essay about that chapter but i doubt she would actually tell ppl about it? Idk just an observation. Sorry theres no smut in this one, kinda wasn't the right time lol but im working on a couple :))

#ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou2 #the last of us #the last of us x reader #tlou #tlou2 #tlou fanfic

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toorusluvr · 3 years

Text

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ NASTY: OIKAWA TOORU.

characters: oikawa tooru x f!reader

cw: college au + cheerleading au (the reader is a cheerleader) shower sex + anger/jealous sex + degradation + exhibitionism + possesive oikawa + slight impact play + cunnilingus + unprotected sex + vaginal penetration + blowjob + oral sex + slight spanking + bratty reader (is oikawa a brat tamer? :p) + oikawa became loving and soft at the end ;)

wc: 3k

crossposted on my ao3 🤍

The sound of your teammates cheering snapped you out of your deep thoughts. Your mind was cloudy, filled with useless thoughts concerning the fight you were having with your boyfriend, Oikawa. Both of you got into a fight again yesterday. It's unfortunate when you needed his support the most on your important day. You were unsure what caused the conflict, but you did lose your temper, and so did he. Both of you are hot-headed sometimes, and it's not good for your relationship. However, both of you love each other and makeup after the fight.

But yesterday was different. This is your first time fighting with Oikawa before your big day. Today's event is vital to you and your team to make it to the next qualifier a month from now on. You sat on the wooden bench, fidgeting your fingers before you went out to the field and started performing. One of your closest friends in the team approached you after she saw how restless you looked. "Hey, we are gonna go out in 5. Are you okay?" Her eyebrows stitched when she saw how cold your hands got when she touched them.

You looked up and saw her concerned face. A small smile formed on your lips, "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go if y'all are ready." You got up from the bench and forgot about your boyfriend for a moment. You had to do your best to make it to the next qualifier.

Oikawa made his way in the crowds filling the bleachers. Even though he was in the middle of a fight with you, he would never forget your important day. He wanted to see his princess doing their best and made it to the top, just like he does. Oikawa knew his support means a lot to you, hence his presence today. Being in a fight will never stop him from supporting his girlfriend.

He sat in the bleachers, ensuring it's close to where you'll be performing soon. And he made sure you'll see him rooting for you in the bleachers. He's proud of you nonetheless.

The loud cheer from the crowd let him knew that his girlfriend's team would start performing. A familiar remix of Nasty x Body Party started playing and blasted all over the booming system around the huge field. Oikawa's eyes landed on you, right in the middle of your formation. You seemed not to have noticed him into a few seconds of the song. He looked at the short skirt you were wearing and the skintight top. God, did you look so stunning in his eyes.

At this moment, you knew too damn well the choreography for this remix is sexier than any other choreographies your team had for the previous months. Since you made the co-captain, your sidekick let you know how sensual and flexible choreography can dominate your team's dynamic movements. The song mixed well with the choreography.

Oikawa watched every inch of your body moved along to the rhythm of the song. His heart feeling nervous at how the boys were ogling your body and how badly he wanted to throw punches in their faces.

You looked at Oikawa in the bleachers, making sure he watched you every second of the passing time. The gaze he was giving you felt different than any other day. The loving gaze has now turned into a gaze filled with lust and anger. You flashed him a cocky smirk before your presence dominated the entire performance. Standing in the middle of your cheerleading team, you let the crowds clapped while praising your team endlessly. After the noise subsided, you made your way to the locker room.

A few of the football's guys surrounded you and your team, making it difficult for you to get past them. You pushed them away with a loud grunt, "What the fuck. Get away from me, you weirdos!" Your friend saw how infuriated you were, so she let you cooled down first before nearing you in the locker room later.

You walked furiously to the locker room, and just before you pushed the door open, a pair of hands quickly pushed you inside the locker room. All words have flown out of your mouth the moment you felt the familiar touch. Oikawa. Why is he here in the female's locker room? Couldn't he wait for you after you're done cleaning yourself up?

Oikawa led you to one of the shower stalls. He pushed your back against the cold marble tiles. "What the hell are you doing here, Oikawa? This is the girls' locker room. Get the fuck out of here!" you grunted while trying to break free from his tightening grip. "Let me go, Tooru! It hurts!" you cried out in pain. You could feel your wrist started to be in pain.

"Did you enjoy being the centre of attention? Did you enjoy the fucking nasty looks the guys gave you?" he spat out in your ears. His heart raced when his mind started to recall the events from earlier. How fuming mad he was when he overheard the guys' disgusting conversations about your cheerleading team. He wished to destroy them all. How dare they said that to his own fucking girlfriend? And they had the audacity to think they could have you? Assholes.

"Tooru! What the fuck are you talking about? Please let me go!" you begged. "What are you doing here? Please leave. They are going to come in soon!" you cried. The thoughts of your teammates caught both of you in the shower room together scared you. Oikawa's not supposed to be in here, yet here he was.

He ignored your pleas. "Oh, my angel, don't you care about how infuriated I was? How you turned me on with your choreography? And these outfits? Oh, baby, you should have known better" his hands snaked around your waist. He turned your body around so you could face him and see him straight in the eyes. He wanted you to know that he owns you, and no one else can.

Oikawa's brown orbs stared directly into your soul. Your expression right now is priceless. He loves how much control he has over you, especially when he's mad jealous. "Did you know what you just did to me, babe?" his fingers trailed over your smooth skin and your chin. He lifted your chin using his index finger before he lightly slapped you across your face.

"I got hard while you were dancing your ass off in the field. How does that sound to you, hm?" he whispered in your ears. Before you could open your mouth, the sound of your teammates cheering filled the once silenced locker room. "Shush, baby. We wouldn't want them to know, right?" he kissed you tenderly on the lips. "Turn on the shower, baby", Oikawa commanded.

You gulped, knowing too well where this is about to go. Oikawa stripped off his clothes and hung them neatly on the hook. When his right hand about to touch you on the face, you heard a bang on the door of your shower stall. "Hey Y/N! Are you in there?" you heard the familiar voice of your friend asking you from outside. Your lips trembled, eyes dilating when you turned to look at your boyfriend.

You cleared your throat, "Y-yeah, I am in here. I'm fine, don't worry. I need some time alone. You guys can leave first. I'll lock up later!" Your hands shaking when Oikawa touched your angelic face.

Your friend heard the shower running and shrugged her shoulders. "Mmkay if that's what you said. They're going to shower first before we head out. I'll let you know when I'm about to leave, though!"

"Okay!" your voice seemed small and terrified if they ever found out about Oikawa's presence in the locker room. You heard your friend's footsteps disappearing in the distance before the shower stall next to you started running its water.

"Now we can talk, hm?" Oikawa sucked on your sensitive spot just below your ears. A small gasp escaped your mouth when he nipped on your neck. You were sure he's gonna leave a lot of hickeys all over you by the time you guys are done. This is just the beginning to him, after all. Oikawa's lips travelled to your clothed breasts before his hands took them off of you.

You raised your arms higher for him to undress you. His large hands palmed your half-naked bosom. His slender fingers trailed over every inch of your skin before he inserted them in your beautiful mouth. "Suck", he commanded. You did as he told. Your lips wrapped around his two digits as your eyes followed his movements.

Oikawa pulled down your short skirt. The feathery touch of his fingers against your thighs made you shivered. You whimpered as you felt your whole body is soaked in water. Oikawa's wet hair made him look a thousand times attractive. He flashed you a cocky smirk before he crouched down on the ground. He spread your legs wider and touched you on your dampened cotton underwear.

"Mhm, my baby is always soaking wet", you heard he mumbled softly. Your fingers buried in his soft brown locks while he was savouring your taste. He pulled down your underwear and let it pooled around your ankles for a while. His pretty and pink lips started kissing your inner thighs that made you whimpered like a bitch in heat. "You're always so beautiful for me, love", you heard him said.

You felt his hot breath fanning over your core. He used his force to spread your legs even wider to bury his face in between your legs. "Beg for me, princess", he growled. His fingers toying with your slick folds. "Beg for me like the little slut you are", he spanked your thighs. And when he watched them jiggled, it only turned him on even more.

"Shit", you mumbled under your breath. "Please, Tooru" you made sure not to let anyone outside heard your voice. You were very cautious, but Oikawa did not. He smirked cockily, "Not loud enough, slut."

His fingers stroking your slick folds up and down, collecting your juices with his fingers to continue teasing you.

You let out a breathy moan. "Tooru, please. Fuck me like the little slut I have always been," you begged. You would have been so embarrassed if any of your teammates actually heard you begging to be fucked like a slut. "Please, Tooru. I promise I'll be good."

Oikawa let out sinister laughter. "Oh, my little slut. This pussy misses me that much?" He inserted his two slender fingers into your dripping cunt. You yelped at the sudden stretch and accidentally let out a loud whimper. You put a hand over your mouth as you rested the back of your head on the cold marble tile.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you agonizingly slow that you had to bite your hand when his pace started to build your orgasm. "Mmph", you muffled your moans with your hand. "Ah- Tooru", you whimpered. You looked down at Oikawa, who gave you another smirk. He pulled out his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. His tongue laid flatly on your pussy, and you felt a long stroke of his lick.

Oikawa tilted his face to get better access of his tongue on your dripping cunt. His tongue gladly lapped every one of your sweet juices. Before he buried his tongue even deeper, he mercilessly toyed with your clit. You bit your lower lip as your orgasm slowly building up. "Tooru, I'm so near" you let out another breathy moan. He kissed your clit before switching his tongue to his fingers.

His thumb rubbing circles on your clit to stimulate your orgasm. "Ah- please, please please", you begged with such a small voice that sounded so pure yet sinful in his ears. "Moan, my fucking name, princess", he grunted.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. "Please, Tooru. I'm so near. Please.."

Oikawa rubbed on your bundle of nerves to the right rhythm that made your legs shake afterwards. And when you felt it coming, a loud gasp escaped your pretty mouth. You immediately covered your mouth while Oikawa smirked, seeing you being in a guilty pleasure.

"Hey, are you okay?" the person next to your shower stall asked out of concern. Your heart racing to the thoughts of being caught by your teammates.

"Y-yes, I'm fine. The water's just boiling! That's all!" you lied through your gritted teeth. You stared into Oikawa's eyes, "Please. We can't get caught in here."

Your pleas have never sounded so desperate. Were you that terrified? That only drove him to make you scream his name louder. He scoffed, "As if that's my current concern, baby. I don't fucking care."

Oikawa's stubborn, that, you have to admit. He's one cocky bitch, but what can you do? Ask him to leave when your cunt was begging to be impaled by his pretty cock?

You grunted softly. Your hands on both sides of the shower stall as you let out another deep sigh. "Fuck it. Tooru, get the fuck up," you said. Oikawa smirked when he knew what's your next move. He cockily laid his bare back against the cold marble tiles. He pushed his damp hair back to have a better view of his girlfriend about to give him head. You got on your knees and situated your face in between his legs.

Using your spit as the lubricant, you stroked his hardened member with your bare hand. Oikawa hissed at the sudden contact with your hand. And when your finger brushed over his slit, he let out a small moan. "Fuck, princess, if you messed this up", he threatened you. You rolled your eyes at him and started licking his cock up and down.

Your mouth has never felt so warm like it did at this moment. The beautiful look that's plastered across your face made him wanted to ruin you even more. The running water concealed the sloppy noise you were making while sucking your boyfriend's pretty cock. His girthy size made your jaw ached but did it hurt you so good.

Oikawa's hand kept on pushing your head down on his cock, eventually making you gagged. "Mmph!" Oikawa heard the muffled noises you were making. He couldn't simply care and continued pushing your head down. "Suck my cock, slut."

He's a pretty moaner, and the soft grunts coming out of his mouth sounded so pleasant to you. You could never forget how beautiful the noises he makes. You saw his face contorted with pleasure, eyes squinted, and his lips squirming. You scoffed, knowing too damn well that he's near, and you were doing a good job. Your free hand rubbing his inner thighs up and down crucially slow to help him to reach his climax faster.

When you felt his cock twitched in your mouth, you took his cock out with a loud pop. "I'm- fuck- I'm coming", Oikawa grunted softly as his hand tugged on your hair. You used your hand to pump his cock to help him finish. Before you knew it, his hot and thick spurts of cum landed on your face. Your eyes shut closed when you felt it hitting your face.

"Angel, you look so fucking beautiful", he praised you with his thumb caressing the sides of your face. He helped you to get up and cleaned his cum off of your face. "I have to reward my angel for being such an obedient slut for me today, hm?" he pulled your waist closer to his body. You gave him a flirtatious smirk, "You can do better than that, Tooru. Come on."

He scoffed, "And now you think you're in charge? Who the fuck do you think you are, slut?" he gave your cheek a harsh slap. The sound of the slap shocked everyone in the locker room, but they thought it was nothing, just the sound of people showering. You winced in pain, "Tooru, fuck that hurts."

He smiled in satisfaction. Oikawa pushed you against the cold marble tiles once again, turning the shower to maximum pressure. The water hitting his back and your naked body. He fondled your breasts with his bare hand before twirling your hardened buds with his index and thumb. You cried out in pleasure, begging him to go faster in your mind.

"Tooru. I need your cock. Please," you begged shamelessly. Oikawa laughed sarcastically before he attacked your lips with his. When his possessiveness takes control over his mind, he easily forgets to show you that you are loved. He forgot to kiss you and reminded you that you're lovely and beautiful today. All because his jealousy took control.

"Damn it. Sorry, I was harsh," Oikawa whispered in your ears after kissing you passionately. He caressed both sides of your face. His lust-filled gaze has now turned loving and softer than before. He kissed your forehead, "Sorry, baby."

You felt even guilty because you didn't say sorry before things escalated quickly. You grabbed his hands and squeezed them firmly, "It's okay, baby. We'll talk after this, alright?" You gave him a sweet smile, and it felt so nice to see Oikawa smiled again after being in a rage.

Oikawa gave you a quick nod before nudging your legs with his. He spread your legs wider so he could have better access. Spitting on his palm, he stroked his cock a few times before thrusting into you. You yelped when the stretch burned, but Oikawa shushed you and gave you time to adjust to the size of his cock. Your stretchy walls swallowed his cock with ease. "You can move now" you smiled bitterly.

He assured you with a sweet smile as his hips bucked into you. You slightly threw your head back when the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting your g-spot deep inside you. You clawed on his flexing biceps. Crescent shapes started to appear on his fair skin. "Fuuuck, Tooru", you let out a staggered moan. "Harder", you begged. You threw your hands over his shoulders and made eye contact with him.

Oikawa placed another soft peck on your lips before thrusting back into you harder as you requested. With another sway of his hips, you matched your rhythm to his to ensure both of you got the climax you guys longed for. He alternately caressed the sides of your face to playing with your clit to make you cum faster. His other free hand squeezed around your throat, and you were such a good girl for him. Taking his cock so well and obediently.

"Fuck, you're so hot", he whimpered. He looked down to where his cock was swallowed by your pretty pussy. Oikawa slammed his hips inside of you again, making you screamed in pleasure. Your hands ran down on his back before scratching on it while your mind was clouded with indescribable euphoria. "T-tooru, it's too much", you moaned.

Oikawa bit on your shoulder when he felt he's so close to releasing his cum inside of you. He knew you were close when your tone changed, and he kept on rubbing on your clit. You chanted his name like a prayer, asking him to go harder on you while his finger overstimulating your clit. "Hm- please please, please, I'm so fucking near. God-" your incoherent babbles stopped when you felt your orgasm washed over you.

You let out a breathy moan after you finished. Oikawa looked at you and smirked, "Fuck- I'm near", he grunted softly as he slowed down his pace. You could feel his thick spurts of cum painted your insides. He buried his face in the crook of your neck after he came. You kissed the top of his head sweetly before cupping his face in your hands.

"I love you so much", you heard him said out loud. Oikawa's soft gaze looked straight into your eyes, and he kissed you on the lips tenderly. "I'm sorry for the fight we had yesterday. It was immature of us. Today's your important day, and I just had to ruin it."

You shook your head gently, "No, no, no, Tooru. It's our faults for acting like kids. We should have talked about it like adults. I promise we'll talk about it after we clean up and get the hell out of this place, yeah?" You chuckled lightly when you saw his lips slowly forming into a smile.

He nodded, "Yeah, let's clean up." Oikawa then helped you clean up, and only he came out of the shower stall fully clothed. You looked around the empty locker room. How long were you in there with your boyfriend? There's no way they would listen to your moans, right?

You dried yourself and put on comfortable clothes you stored in your backpack. You checked your phone and saw tons of messages from your friend. Your eyes widened upon reading her text messages. Oikawa peeked over your phone and laughed. "They caught us, huh?"

"I know you're in there with Oikawa. I saw he got into the locker room before we got in. Thank goodness I was the only one who saw him."

Sent 6.48 p.m.

"For fucks' sake, Y/N. Keep it down. The whole room can hear you. What the fuck."

Sent 7:09 p.m.

"We all just laughed and pretended nothing happened. God, you guys, are a disgusting piece of shit. Get a room, fuckers."

Sent 7:15 p.m.

"We're taking our leave. Don't forget to lock up. Oh, yeah, don't forget your birth control, bitch. Nasty ass bitch. Gross. Text me when you're done. ASAP!"

"Jk. Text me when you're home safely."

Sent 7:31 p.m.

You brought your hands to your face. Your face turned hot in embarrassment. Your greatest fear had just become real, and everyone in your team now knows how nasty you are. "God, Tooru, please, we can't do that again," you said silently. You bit on your fingers because you were so embarrassed by what had just happened.

Oikawa let out breathy laughter, "And I'll gladly do it again." He relaxed his tensed shoulders, "Relax, baby. They won't judge you, trust me. Let bypast be bypast."

You looked at him in disbelief, "Bypast your head!" you gave him a knock on the head.

He laughed when you got mad at him. "God, I am so in love with you." He grabbed your hands and squeezed them firmly. "It's okay. They won't judge. Trust me, baby. Now, let's lock up and send you home."

The following day, your team gave you a questionable look on their faces. They teased the heck out of you, especially your friend. God, you have never been so mad at your boyfriend for ruining your image. But, it's a risk you're willing to take.

"Nasty", your friend teased you by poking your sides. You chuckled, "Yeah yeah, whatever."

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu smut #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa smut

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besotted-eros · 3 years

Text

taste of ale and towers

Eren Jaeger x F!Reader (PoC)

Summary: Your favourite patron finally makes a move, and it takes you into the sky.

Content: Unabashed fluff, some jealousy, mentions of alcohol, jealous!Eren. Scouts getting to be stupid.

You liked your job.

Drunkards, vomit, and brawls aside. You enjoyed the warm atmosphere of the tavern, with its brick walls and its crackling fire. You enjoyed sorting through the clinking glasses and bottles, hearing the bar tales from old regulars and new faces. You were meticulous about cleaning, ensuring that this was one of the only taverns in the town that didn't reek of bile and piss. Instead the scent of soft hay, spiced mead and warm bread filled the room, fighting for dominance with the crowing laughs of the patrons. It was pleasant.

Yeah, you liked your job. Especially on nights like these.

"There is NOOOOO way you're taking credit for that one, that's all me." Connie's hand pushed into Sasha's face, his brows furrowed as the tall girl slapped his hand away and shoved a finger into his cheek.

"Yoush need ta shut up, Conster. Ain't a little tyke like you ever gonna get a titan THAT big. It was HUGE!" She burst from her seat, rocking the table and throwing her hands up to the ceiling. "IT WAS THIS BIG!" the table roared with laughter as Mikasa struggled to pull her back down. You smiled along with them as you filled a tankard. You'd have to cut her off soon.

"Stop knocking over drinks Sasha, you're going to give y/n more work."

The voice cut through the thrum of conversation. You could have picked the sound of him out of a storm, or a symphony. And it made your heart race every time.

You could feel him walking towards you through the crowd, and kept your eyes down. There was a deep scratch on the counter, and you dragged the rag over it repeatedly, until a hand entered your vision. His fingers were long, the skin taunt against bone and tendon. They were the hands of a soldier. But when he rested his it over yours, they were gentle.

"Hey, do you mind if I take this for a second?" Eren asked, his mouth twisted into a rueful grin as he nodded his head back towards his friends. "Don't want things to dry up and get sticky."

He was your most faithful patron. You knew that if he wasn't off saving humanity, he would be in your tavern after dinner at the barracks. But he never drank much, nursing a single beer, maybe two over a few hours.

"Oh, I can clean it myself!" You chirped, and his lower lip twitched slightly, head tilting.

"You're busy, it's okay. Let me." He pulled it away firmly, shooting you a small smile as he turned back. You were happy to see it. It seemed as though he smiled less and less these days. But there always seemed to be at least one for you. You regretted that you weren't able to sit with him tonight, have his gaze upon you as you leaned into his heat. He had been away for a few weeks, and you missed him. Even though he wasn't yours to miss.

"God, you might as well work here 'ren" Jean drawled, and the pale haired man's eyes flicked to yours. Eren scowled at him, wiping the table clean. "Would have pretty co-workers at least." You flushed at the compliment, turning on your heel to busy yourself with needlessly sorting bottles in the shelves. You could tell the group was appraising you now.

"Watch it." Eren snapped, flicking the rag quickly to snap against the scout's cheek. Jean grinned, smelling Eren's weakness. He snatched at the rag, tugging it from the green eyed man's grasp.

"I'll return this for you." Jean grinned, sliding out from the booth and padding through the crowded chairs and bodies. Before Eren could even formulate a way to get him to stop, he was at the bar, pushing his hair back and fixating you a handsome grin.

His friends stared with awe, even Sasha hushed by the sight of quiet rage in Eren's face.

"He's just blatantly making moves on your girl huh?" Connie commented, eliciting a glare from Eren.

"Don't have a 'girl', idiot. No clue what you're on about." Eren dropped into his seat, but his eyes were glued on how Jean was leaning over the bar, long arm outstretched to gesture to a jewel coloured bottle on the shelf. He was crowding you, leaning in so close. He could probably smell the scent of vanilla and rose, and see how prettily a lock of hair curled by your jaw.

"Oh puhlease, Errrren." Sasha took a sloppy swing of her ale, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "You look at her with those big ol' cow eyes, and you're here, what? Every night?" She looked around the table for validation, only met with an angry green stare as eyes of grey, blue and black averted strategically. "You don't even drink!" She rested the glass against her face, eyes closed and expression pulled into a caricature of mourning. "Oh, how will your love ever withstand this distance of 9 feet? How will you ever cross it?"

"Can you shut up and eat some peanuts or something?" Eren snapped, his face red. Armin's mouth was twitching as he fought back a smile, and Mikasa had pressed her wineglass to her lips for an uncharacteristically long amount of time, eyes twinkling over the rim.

"We're out of peanuts." Sasha was truly mournful now, pulling the bowl towards her with both hands.

"Yeah, maybe we can ask Jean's new girlfriend for a refill." Connie murmured into his hands. Sasha roared with laughter, and even Armin couldn't hold back a chuckle, looking sheepish when his best friend glared at him.

"Sorry, 'ren. But Sasha has a point y'know. You have to make a move eventually." His fingers were knit around the tall glass of mead in front of him. But his eyes were still sharp, and his smile kind.

"I'm not going to "make a move"." He replied, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You guys are making a big deal of nothing."

"Oh come on, just admit it." Connie exclaimed, rubbing his fingers over his dark buzz. "It's obvious she's crazy about you too. She doesn't sit with anyone else, literally just you. And it's not for the conversation, because you suck at that." Eren glowered as the table nodded solemnly. But he couldn't deny it made his heart beat faster.

"She looks at you the same way you look at her. Have you noticed that?" Armin asked, resting his chin on his hand.

Eren watched as you tucked a raven lock behind your ear, nodding as Jean spoke softly to you, his finger tracing the rim of a glass you had filled for him.

He hadn't noticed the way you look at him. He was too busy noticing how soft your eyes were, how you would always keep a place for children to sit behind the bar in case the room got too rowdy. How you'd stand your ground against men twice your size, sneering up at them in a way that was honestly intimidating. How gentle your hands were when they'd rest on his arm, laughing at some stupid joke or comforting him when he'd appear with bags under his eyes and ghosts on his breath.

"Do it." Came Mikasa's soft encouragement, nudging him from his seat. "Before Jean does."

Right as her voice met his ears, you laughed. It wasn't overly vibrant, or loud. But it was a laugh, Jean was making you laugh.

"He might kill him." Armin mused as they watched Eren elbow his way to the pair. Connie grinned, downing the rest of his drink.

"I always loved a bar fight."

"It's not that hard, when you get used to it." Jean was saying, the caramel of his eyes melting into yours as he attempted to hold your gaze. This wasn't the first time you had spoken to the tall scout, but it was the first time he had flirted so blatantly. "I could even show you sometime, could get on my back, or I could stra-" suddenly Jean's was on the ground, staring up in bewilderment as Eren made himself comfortable in the now empty stool. You blinked with confusion, lips rounded into a little o. It seemed that Eren had violently hipchecked the man off, and stolen his seat.

"You talk too much, Jean boy." He muttered. Jean scrambled up, chest expanded as he leaned in close to Eren's face.

"Say that again, Jaeger." He growled, threateningly.

"No." Eren's eyes refused to break from yours. But you could see that telltale bristling, and practically smell the pent up rage wafting from the men.

"If you boys fight in my bar, I'm going to have to throw both of you out." You warned, earning a sheepish look from both of them.

"Sorry, y/n." They said in chorus before glares snapped to each other again. You watched as Eren held Jean's gaze, and something unsaid passed between them. But finally Jean's face turned to a smile.

"Took you long enough." He scoffed, bumping the dark haired youth's shoulder as he walked back to his seat.

You looked at Eren, confusion making your lower lip press forward in a way that made his heart jump.

"Sorry about that." He mumbled, touching the back of his head. "We just... Fight a lot." You arched an eyebrow, a smiling playing on your lips.

"I can tell. But you're close."

He nodded, staring down at the drink Jean had abandoned.

"Can I get you anything? Tempt you into actually getting drunk tonight?" You removed the old glass and slid a new one into his hands. "You look like you need it."

He smiled, mouth twisting wryly. "I uh, can't get drunk."

"Oh? Why's that?"

He flexed his jaw, eyes refusing to meet yours. "Since I'm... Well a titan shifter. I regenerate too fast. As my body metabolizes it, I'm already healing. That's why Armin doesn't get drunk either." He motioned his shoulder towards the table, and as you looked over all their heads snapped away.

"That's fascinating." You said it sincerely, and met his gaze when his eyes raised. He had seemed timid to tell you. It's not that you didn't know, everyone knew. But not everyone accepted it.

"So, do you just really like the taste of our mead then?"

He chuckled, shrugging. "Yeah." His eyes flicked to yours, regarding you from under his dark lashes. "And the company."

You flushed, dragging your teeth over your lower lip. "Yeah, heard it's good here."

Eren grinned, running a hand through his hair. The fire caught the glossy chestnut of it, and you tried not to imagine what it would feel like under your fingertips.

"I like it, seeing you here." You absent-minded wiped a glass as you spoke, needing to channel the growing energy. "Makes me feel a bit..." You trailed off, biting your lower lip in earnest now. "Safe? Normal? Like things are going to be okay if I see you come through the door. The world hasn't exploded yet."

The youth had fallen silent. You wondered if you had overstepped, and raise your eyes to offer an apology. But his expression silenced you.

He looked at you with shining eyes, lips parted slightly with shock.

"I-" you began and were cut off by his hands slapping down on the counter as he leaned forward, gaze cutting through you. He was red, his cheeks like burning embers in the warm light, pretty mouth scrunched slightly to the side.

"Y/n, go out with me." He said, voice pitched and loud. You felt the tavern hush slightly, the loud drone muting as eyes turned to you. He blinked in surprise as you did, both of you caught off guard by the sudden intensity. He sat back on the stool, smile sheepish. "I uh, sorry. Will you go out with me?"

You let him stew for a moment. It was only fair, he made you wait so long for him to say those words. His smile faltered, eyes searching your face. But your lips curled into a smile.

"I'm off tomorrow."

The rap at your door was firm. You had wondered when it would happen, as you had seen Eren arrive at your door a little over ten minutes ago, staring nervously at the entry way. You had leaned out your window to watch him, the normally perceptive man oblivious to your wandering eyes. He had paced, wrung his hands, adjusted the backpack that weight on his shoulders.

"I'll be down in a second." You called, making him start and stare up at you open mouthed.

"Y/n,how, how long-?" He called up, but you shut the window quickly, holding back your laughter as you ran down the stairs, pausing to take a breath before throwing open the door.

"Hi," you said breathlessly, fixating him with a smile. He looked at you with mouth agape, eyes wracking over your form. He had only ever seen you in your typical work attire, a dingy apron tossed over an old puffed skirt, a modest button up to finish it off. So when you brushed your dark hair back off your shoulders, allowing his eyes to alight upon the soft skin of clavicle and chest. The blouse you had picked laid prettily off your shoulders, gripping onto the flesh of your upper arms. The soft cream complimented your brown skin in a way that would make Eren associate the shade with you forever.

"You... You look really beautiful, Y/n." He said finally, giving you a rougishly handsome half smile.

"You clean up well too." You replied, and he shrugged humbly The white button up was ironed with a soldier's precision, and the jacket he wore over it hugged the muscles in his arms temptingly.

"We match." He commented, gesturing to the dark green of your skirt and how it complimented the fabric of his jacket. You had chosen it because it reminded you of his eyes when the fire had gone down, right before you'd have to ask him to leave. He'd be heavy lidded, hair mussed and smelling like smoke. But would insist on helping you put up the chairs every time.

"So, where are we off to?" You asked, he turned quickly, face excited as he took a step. But then he paused, turning back around sheepishly. He offered you an arm, straightening his back. You held back a laugh at his excitement and containment of it. It was endearing, you thought as you took his arm and he began to guide you towards the outer wall.

"I uh... Made us a picnic." He said, helping you over a puddle. "Well not just me. Sasha, she made the sandwiches. But I helped." It made you flush to think that the whole regiment was probably aware of what you were doing currently. It didn't help that Eren took you over wall Rose, the basket pulley system making you cling to him under the gaze of the soldiers manning it. You stood together at the top for a moment, staring over at your district. He pointed out the barracks, and you pointed out your home. He moved closer to you to follow your pointing, needlessly close. But you liked it.

"We don't usually let civilians over like this." He whispered as he helped you into the basket on the other side. "But I told them you're special." He gave you an easy half smile.

"Trying to squeeze free booze from me, Jaeger?" You teased as he climbed in beside you. His arm was around your waist instantly, bracing as the descent begun.

"Yeah." He responded, and grinned back at him. He made the fear lessen.

You admired him as best as you could, stealing glances as he walked beside you through the forest. The dappled shade touched his high cheekbones, made his green eyes flash like emerald caught under a jeweler's light.

"Here!" He exclaimed finally, grabbing you by the hand and pulling you towards a clearing. In the middle of it was a tall, tall tower, a wooden outpost made for guards to keep an eye out for titans.

"Wait one second, okay?" Eren asked, holding your arms and placing you against the leg of the structure. He draped his jacket over you before climbing up the ladder, at a speed you thought was almost showoffish.

You leaned against the wood, listening as the tower creaked above you. It sounded like the trees that surrounded, a part of the landscape. You hugged Eren's jacket tighter to you, dipping your head to your shoulder to inhale the scent of him from the collar. It was clean, vibrant almost. A sharp smell that made you think of knives and the edge of his jaw. The fabric was coarse against your nose, obviously military grade, utilitarian in its design. But you thought of the way it would hug his slim shoulders, his muscular arms, how it would -

"Having fun?" Eren's voice called and your head snapped up to see him grinning from the entry hole. "I'm ready for you up here."

You pulled yourself up, hoping the exertion would hide the embarrassment. He helped you onto the platform, large hands firm on your body to hoist you up.

"Ta-da." He said, gesturing to the blanket laid out in front of you. On top of it he had arranged sandwiches, two glasses that had been filled with deep red wine, and a loaf you recognized as sweet bread, soldiers "desert" rations for special occasions. He had even bought candles, perched delicately in a spartan holder. "It's not much but..." He guided you over, shrugging slightly. "I hope you like it."

"I love it, Eren." You sunk down onto the blanket, grinning up at him. "Didn't know you were such a romantic."

He shrugged again, but his cocky grin told you he was pleased with himself. It became somber as he sat across from you, reclining back on his hands.

"Just don't get the chance to do this, y'know." He said softly, voice gentle enough to be carried away by the breeze. The walls were low here, and even while sitting you could see over top. The forest seemed to go on forever, a sea of shimmering greens. You felt an intimate fondness for them and with a start realised why, as you looked back towards the man sitting across from you. He held the colour of life in his eyes, verdant and vibrant.

"I'm honoured that you're using it on me, then." You replied, earning yourself a warm smile. Your heart leapt at the sight of it, and you decided that even if this was the only time you'd get him to yourself, you'd make the most of it.

"There's no one else I'd rather." His voice was genuine, and seemed to even catch himself off guard. He blushed, prettily. "Uh, dig in." He grabbed his sandwich, quickly stuffing it into his mouth.

You pretended not to watch him eat, how his tongue would dart out to wet his lips or how you could see his Adams apple bob with every swallow. And he pretended not to watch you drink, how your lips pursed on the rim, how you'd hold the cool glass against your cheek as you listened to him speak. Hours passed like that, the food long reduced to crumbs and fuel to press the conversation forward.

He spoke mostly about his friends. Stories that showcased Armin's smarts or Mikasa's fortitude. You liked how he looked when he slipped into fond memories. Eyes glossy, smile crooked. He spoke with his hands, painting scenes with every movement of his fingers. Sasha grasping Mikasa by the shoulders, Jean being bowled over by an over excited Connie. The wind would wind it's fingers through his hair. It was long, not long enough to pull into a ponytail but long enough that it stroked the nap of his neck. The sun reflected the golden threads in it, and you wondered if there was any part of the forest that wasn't a part of him.

And he listened to you as though you were a preacher saving his soul. Eyes wide, leaned forward and nodding intently. You felt seen in a way you hadn't before. Sure people had looked at you, long and hard and even leering. But no one saw you like Eren did.

"The view is beautiful." You commented after some time, standing to walk over to the ledge. The sky had painted itself an orange peel, with a glowing lemon for a setting sun. You peered over the low wall, swallowing your vertigo. Eren followed you, and after a small pause placed an arm slowly around your waist. You felt his warmth glow through you, and were comforted.

"Yeah," he said, gazing at you as though you had hung the moon. "It is."

You let your head drop, leaning it against his shoulder. Intimacy was a stranger to the soldier, something that had no place in his life. In fact, Eren was almost scared. After titans and gore, after horrors that would rise bile for even the most hardened veterans, it was your soft figure that made him speechless. He didn't know how to hold you, didn't know what to do with the elation that filled his heart at the sensation of you soft and compliant in his arms.

Should he kiss you now? He thought as your face turned towards his. Your eyes were sparkling, smile so sweet it was almost saccharine. He could see peace in your face. A soft rest, head nestled somewhere warm with only the sound of heartbeats. But before he could close the space between you, a loud squak startled you away. Eren's grip on your waist tightened and he stepped you back from the ledge cautiously. In front of you a bird burst through the canopy, rushing towards the sky as another followed hot upon its tail. You watched as they cartwheeled through the sky, shrieks loud and grating.

You placed a hand over your heart, letting out an airy laugh. "Thank you, I would jumped right over."

"Glad you didn't. " He murmured, reflecting your smile. "It would suck to have to jump after you." The look on your face was unreadable, and Eren worried that he said something wrong. He was afraid of that, to love you wrong. What else would be expected of someone like him? He didn't know how to treat a woman, let alone someone like you. What was he thinking of, trying to kiss you. You, with your radiant smile that cut through the subdued warmth of the tavern and straight into his chest.

"Should probably pack this up," Eren began, turning back to the blanket. A soft tap on his shoulder made him turn back to you, eyebrow cock with question. Only to be met by your lips, crashing into his. The force made him step back, catching you by the waist. For a moment he feared you would actually topple over the side.

You kissed him exactly how he had dreamt. Like a stormcloud, soft but full, wetting the desert of him. Your hands cradled his cheeks, tender in how you held them. Eren couldn't remember the last time he had been touched so softly.

When you broke away, he was blushing.

"I... Wow." He managed to get out, chest rising and falling with the force of his breath. "I didn't expect that."

"I'm sorry," you murmured demurely, making to step back. "It's just that..." You chewed on your lower lip, and he thought about how you were most likely tasting him. "You meant it. That you would jump after me. I liked that."

The smile spread like a wildfire across Eren's face. "I did." He said breathlessly, pulling you back towards him. This time he kissed you, fingers sliding their way from your jaw into your hair.

When your lips broke again, you wondered how you were still standing. Your heart felt as though it could break through the canopy itself, and your knees fragile enough to give under the next strong gust. Eren was in a similar state, all red face and gentle hands, feeling their way through the length of your hair. He ran his fingers through it, from root to tip, repeating the motion has the wind fought him for the chance to stroke your locks.

"Been wanting to do this." He whispered, hand going still on the back of your neck. "From the moment I first met you."

You rolled your eyes, trying to quell the fluttering that grew in your stomach. "Use more lines on me, Jaeger."

His dark brow furrowed, and he used his grip on your hair to pull you closer. It embarrassed you how heat ran through your body as he did it. "'ts not a line, y/n. I mean it." He dipped his head to rest his forehead against yours, green eyes boring into you. His hands slid down you, moving like a landslide. You felt the topography of your body would be forever changed by him, born anew by the fact he was touching you. They came to settle on your hips, and he hummed into another kiss.

"You were fighting someone." Eren said finally, and you let out a quick laugh. "No, really. When I first saw you, you were fighting someone." You felt like you were falling when you saw the expression on his face. He recounted seeing you like he recounted his friends, eyes soft and full of adoration for the memories that made him whole. "I had gone for a walk, just needing to clear my head. And all of a sudden in front of me this door swung open, and a man stepped out. Nonchalant, holding it open as he checked his watch. And all I could hear was this... Yelling." He laughed, squeezing you slightly as you leaned into him. A part of you wanted to press your face into his neck, to find how the curves of your body fit. But you needed to see his face as he spoke about you. Commit it to memory. "And then this fucking hulk of a man stumbled out, and he was *blabbering* like a kid. Just apologising, over and over again. And then you," he paused for a moment to press another kiss to your lips. "You come out holding a broom like I've held a blade, just ready to kill. And you had it up against his chin, right here." Eren dipped his head and nudged yours back, exposing the expanse of your throat. His lips found the thin skin of where your neck curved into your chin, and he kissed it. "Your hair was a mess, and the light made it look like you had a halo. No wonder the man ran." He held you by the small of your back now, dipping you slightly. Your eyes had fluttered closed as he clung to him. "And you caught my eye as you turned, God I must have looked like an idiot. But you caught my eye and you smiled. Apologised, and then thanked the man holding the door so sweetly. And I thought..." He pulled away now, blushing.

"You thought what?" You pressed, pressing into him.

"What mouth you'd kiss with. If you'd kiss hard and passionate, or soft and sweet." He gave you a boyishly handsome smile. "It's both. "

You pressed your lips to his again. And again. The sun set against your entwined bodies, and Eren had a feeling the night watch wouldn't be impressed with his request to come back over. But it didn't matter, he thought as you pulled away to smile up at him, brighter than the moon. Because this was worth it.

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