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#catching glimpses of the outside world but never being allowed to participate
raekahnsfw · 4 years
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What if I’m not good enough for you?
Pairing: Shindo Yo x Reader Rating: Explicit (LIKE BE WARNED!), NS*W Warning: Smut, Drunk Sex, Slightly Dubious Consent, Aged-up Characters, Pining, Angst, Insecurities, Slow-burn fluff Word Count: 10,699  A/N: These BNHA characters are 18+ and are nearly graduating seniors.
Summary: You’re a senior at UA with a long-standing crush on Shindo Yo but you’ve sworn never to be in a relationship again. Your last one destroyed you with insecurities so you’ve decided the only path is to be a lonely pro-hero. But with the opportunity for a one-night drunken stand with Shindo, you take the chance and expect to be forgotten. Shindo won’t stand for it.
From Me: (Follow me at @raekahwritings​) This is my first fic ever into the BNHA fandom and for one of my favorite heroes, Shindo Yo! I want to give a huge shout out to @thewheezingwyvern because she helped to beta-read this monster of a fic. Basically, this is the first I’ve written in a near decade and with her advice, it became something I was too embarrassed to share to something I’m really proud of. Here we go for Shindou Club and BNHA Book Club, Provisional License.
Also, inspirations for this work is from @katsukisprincess, @lady-bakuhoe, @iwvs-on-ao3, @bnhabookclub, @/lemonlordleah-shinzawa, @/marilla-eldriana, and others because I’m too embarrassed to tag them when they’re so amazing.
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There was always a question in the back of your mind; was love worth sacrificing your pro-hero dream? 
“Hey Mina.” You watched your pink haired friend scroll through Tinder on the dorm room couch.  You all were seniors in UA academy and studying for finals. Or supposed to be anyways. You slumped over on the table, smushing your cheek on the cold, hard plastic as you took a brief reprieve from your textbook.
“Would you rather be somebody’s girlfriend or a hero?” Mina turned around and lit up at your question. 
“Depends. How hot is my boyfriend?” She waggled her eyebrows at you and started listing off a number of heroes that would ‘totally rock her world,’ cackling loudly how she’d totally give up everything for some mad sex. Soon enough, she flopped back over the couch and was engrossed in another possible hook-up.  
Maybe you should’ve asked Momo. But she didn’t seem very experienced in relationships and you were currently in a dilemma. You, Y/N, an aspiring hero had sworn off relationships because your freshman ex-boyfriend had thrown you an ultimatum: “Why do you need to be a hero when you’re already my girlfriend?”  
You had broken up with his sorry ass right there and then. Nothing would get in the way of being a hero. Apparently, Mina would joke otherwise. 
“....I don’t think sex is everything, Mina.” Mina started whining petulantly, lamenting over the lack of hotties on her dating apps. You laughed it off while she tapped her phone in frustration. Mina would forever be Mina. 
“Y/N, do you think he’s hot or am I just too thirsty right now?” She was soon waving her phone to you with somebody’s profile picture, some asshole who was obnoxiously showing their abs off. You rolled your eyes before making a ‘nixed’ gesture. 
“Mina, you are way too good for jerks who think showing off their naked body parts is gonna score chicks.” You scoffed at seeing their disgustingly lewd caption. Mina moved on to the next one, muttering. 
“Jeez, Y/N, what is your type even? I’ve never seen you hook up or with a boyfriend before?” She tried valiantly to quiz you and show you more pictures but you ignored her in favor of going back to studying.
Honestly, you had a type. But if Mina or anyone knew, it’d probably be too surprising for them to fathom; you were the serious girl who always said you didn’t need a boyfriend. You prosaically told people, ‘learning to be a hero is way awesomer’. But if there was one shocking thing you could say about yourself….
It would be that you were a fucking idiot to fall in love with Shindou Yo. Somehow, your heart had chosen the most devious asshole you ever could’ve ever met.
Shindo Yo didn’t even go to UA Academy. He was a mutual friend of the UA’s Midoriya, Todoroki and Bakugo. Actually…. you weren’t sure if they were even friends… With the way Bakugo seemed to fight with him, it seemed more like they were mortal enemies. Nevertheless, it seemed like he was showing up more often to outside gatherings and to parties that you and your UA classmates frequented. It was a relief that Mina hadn’t figured it out since she was surprisingly perceptive. 
“Hey Mina. I’m gonna go to the library to meet up with Kirishima.” You kept an eye on the time and started packing up your bag. You had made plans to exchange study notes for a drink. She nodded, already distracted with her next conquest. You sighed. 
Jeez, you shouldn’t have asked Mina. She hadn’t caught on though… because if anyone had ever found out about your silly crush, you wonder what they would say. Shindo was universally seen as a jerk at UA. There was every reason to avoid him instead of falling in love with him. Shindo Yo was self-assured and manipulative. Bakugo had called him out on his shit early on in the UA Provisional Exams. You had personally seen Shindo turn on the charm to your fellow UA students, only to decimate his nice-guy exterior to turn the tables on your unwitting classmates and team. You had first-hand faced his cunningness in action. Did you have every reason to mistrust him? Yes.
But on the flip side, you also saw how loyally compassionate he was to his fellow teammates. You saw how he pulled through at the eleventh hour to get him and his teammates to success. He never hesitated to use his sinister two-faced nature to protect his friends at Ketsubutsu Academy High School.
One situation, in particular, was on your mind…
Shindo had shown up at the karaoke club with Tatami and Camie in tow, ‘inviting’ himself to a casual graduation party for Mirio, Nejire and Tatami. Everyone thought it had been reserved for UA students but someone had let it slip to other schools…. (It was Mirio. His nice-ness was over the bounds. Throwing out invites left and right like a loveable idiot.)
Shindo had somehow weaseled himself into the roster of singing anarchy – grabbing a mic and belting a love song to Uraraka with a significant wink to Midoriya. He even got Jiro and Tatami together on a song. He had challenged Bakugo to a song (which didn’t happen) but a girl could dream about that blackmail material.
But one of the beginning moments that you had fallen in love…
He had been sitting around, mulling over a drink when you saw him look discreetly around for Tatami and Cami. They had both been gone for a tad too long….? Shindo took a break on the pretense of Bakugo’s death glare being too much and laughing his way out of the room. You sat near the door, so you had a surprisingly good view of when his eyes narrowed, and he dropped his friendly demeanor on his way out. You turned your head inquisitively…? Shindo’s sights were set on a couple of low-life frat boys who were heading for an unsuspecting Camie and Tatami leaving the bathroom. You watched him walking towards them, heading them off, and shoving them into another hallway.
You followed him out and stayed behind the hallway to try to see what was happening. What could you say, curiosity got the better of you?
You couldn’t make out what he said but the low threatening timbre of his voice had sent cold chills down your spine. You had never heard this level of sinister maliciousness from even Bakugo. This Shindo was probably more of a villain that he had let others believe. The culprit’s voices became heated, but it was abruptly stopped by the vicious slamming of the wall. Then you could hear running.
You backed up into an empty room, afraid to show Shindo that you had been waiting there. He rounded back—thankfully not seeing you—and you could see the genuine and sincere relief at seeing both Tatami and Camie laughing… in ignorance of what they had just avoided. He rounded the two to join the karaoke room, keeping a watchful eye on the other unsavory participants…
You had leaned against the dark and empty room’s wall to calm your beating heart. Shindo was undoubtedly an asshole but you knew how fiercely protective of the people he loved.
Maybe that was the spark that ignited this wistful thought – “I wish someone loved me that much.”
But love paled in comparison to upcoming finals. Obviously. Get your act together. You made it to the library and waved to several of your classmates studying nearby. Everyone turned back to their own work and left you alone. Just as well. You drummed your fingers on the library desk as you flipped open your computer and continued typing a study guide.
During times like this, your mind wandered a bit. After the karaoke incident, you found yourself looking for moments with Shindo—hoping to catch a glimpse beneath that nice-guy exterior. You found yourself wondering if he was going to ‘show up’ to parties. You found yourself floating over to conversations with the Ketsubutsu crowd if they were ‘mysteriously’ invited. You wondered what Shindo treated his girlfriend like—probably Tatami—but there was no confirmation they were dating.
In your dorms, you sometimes found yourself chuckling along with Todoroki or laughing at Bakugo and wondered what Shindo might say if he was there.
Maybe you yearned to come back to your dorm room and see someone waiting to greet you with a sarcastic quip and sugared, cunning words. Maybe you had stuffed your fingers in between your legs in a pitiful attempt to dampen the rising heat… especially when you thought of a certain brunette and his dark timbre of a voice in the depths of the night.
Maybe you could lie to yourself and say, Shindo was not that person you imagined. 
But you were an independent person who would never allow yourself to be weak or dependent on anyone. If you ever confessed, you would be trapped in a relationship where your partner would inevitably resent you for putting your career first. These were the thoughts that plagued you in your hidden moments. You tried to push these insecurities away but they lurked nearby.
Resentment. That was quite familiar to you. That’s inevitably what you heard and felt. Your last boyfriend resented he was never a priority over yourself, your hero aspirations, and the success of your friends and classmates. You had resented his feelings, trapping you and confining you to change who you were.
So yes, you were independent, amazing, and awesome. But you were lonely... A realization that would sneak up on you every so often. You looked at your computer screen, lifting a hand to crawl over the painful feelings in your chest… as if to reassure yourself.
Because who would want someone like this? How selfish would it be to confess to someone and expect them to understand this?
So yes, you had decided love would never be in the cards for you. It was a practical and logical decision.
“Hey Y/N, you look lost in thought over here.” Kirishima came over to your study table in the library, holding two drinks. You waved off his concerns and lit up at seeing what was in his hands.
“No, no, I’m not! Gimmie the goods.” You tapped the desk impatiently for him to put the hot chocolate down. Kirishima looked at your childish drink in bemusement as he put down his black coffee. “I promised to give over these study notes for you so the least you can do is not judge my drinks.” You stuck your tongue out at the red-haired boy.
Kirishima chuckled, dropping his backpack noisily on the floor. “Y/N, I’m supposed to join Bakugo soon for warm-up... How long do you think you’ll be?” You rolled your eyes a bit at hearing that. When wasn’t Bakugo training or something? Whatever, you were doing Kirishima a favor after all.
You absentmindedly decided to ask, “Isn’t Bakugo supposed to have a match or something? Is it against UA’s Class B or…?” You tapped your backspace key rather impatiently. Aizawa-sensei had been organizing more hero trainings lately for individual members. Something alongside hero work studies; that was certainly keeping you busy. It seemed everyone had something going on lately. You lifted your cup for a quick sip.
“Actually...” Kirishima scratched the back of his head nervously. “It’s against Ketsubutsu Academy’s students.”
You nearly spewed out your precious hot cocoa. Your arms flew up to wipe your keyboard in an awkward attempt to muffle your surprise.
Kirishima had an inkling of your crush for the earthquake bastard. But you were always so quick to dismiss any remote implication that he wasn’t quite sure…. But if he didn’t know before, he knew now.
“…. Apparently Joke-sensei kept pushing Aizawa-sensei for a collaborative ‘event’ so this is what they came up with. It’s supposed to be the beginning of a ‘school-wide’ effort for cooperation and teamwork for heroes across different areas. It’s still in the works but…” Kirishima trailed off at seeing your pinched face.
“What time is it?” You curtly asked. Kirishima looked at his watch.
“It’s supposed to start in an hour.”
“Goddamnit Kirishima. I’m sending you your stupid notes so we can get to this match.” You didn’t even realize you had dropped your formalities. What was racing through your mind was that you had less than an hour to get back your dorm, get ready, see Shindo without looking like a complete nerd who spent too much time studying.
You had luckily been on the ending revisions, but it wasn’t like Kirishima needed all of it. You hastily typed his email in, cursing when your computer loaded too slowly, and sent off the file.
Then came shoving Kirishima into the directions of the dorms so he could “hurry the fuck up”. Kirishima may have dragged his feet a bit, snickering at Bakugo’s choice words falling from your mouth.  It wasn’t like he had to do anything for the match anyways. You on the other hand….
You couldn’t salvage much of your looks, so you tried to throw on a large oversized sweater over your skirt and put on a touch of eyeliner and mascara. Sheesh, you didn’t want to look like you tried too hard. You looked critically at yourself in the mirror and saw… nothing special. You deflated a bit.  Well. Fake it until you make it. Even when you tried, it didn’t seem like much had changed. So what if you didn’t look as pretty as the others like Momo? You had slowly built up your shattered self-confidence before. Better this than looking like a cakeface or a tramp, you supposed.
Then Momo and Jirou knocked on your door. “Y/N, you ready yet?” You opened the door and shoved the feeling of inadequacy in the back of your mind.
“Yea!” You followed the UA crowd out of the dorms and you could see Midoriya and Ochaco talking excitedly about the match—it seemed you weren’t the only one surprised by this. Midoriya was vividly recounting Shindo’s quirks and the pros and cons against Bakugo….
When you went over to the gym where the match was being held, your group joined with the other classmates already there. It looked like Kaminari had saved a row for everyone, patting the seat next to him for Jirou. Mina waved to you, grinning like a banshee and wildly flailing for the seat next to her.
“Y/N, I saved the best seat for you!” She slyly gestured to the view…. that was angled towards Bakugo’s back and… Shindo’s front muscular chest. Did she know? Your heart leaped. Then Mina pointed towards the Ketsubusu’s Academy’s growing crowd. “This is our chance to see the hotties from other schools! I mean we got some fine men but a girl’s gotta window-shop!”
“Hmmm….” You watched interestedly now—you had only ever seen Tatami. But it seemed a fair number of girls had gathered and were pointing at… Shindo? You saw him gesture with his ‘aw shucks’ routine, bashfully giving a smile to the girls before the match. You recognized that look from the UA Provisionals, it reeked of blatant insincerity. You guess fangirls really were blind in love and adoration? They would be in for some cruel reality…. Meanwhile, people were avoiding Bakugo since he had his threatening face on. He was flipping people off and giving no attention to any of the bystanders around him. He just wanted to beat the earthquake bastard.
“Yo, Bakugo, you might wanna look a little less murdersome!” You shouted in good fun from your seat. Bakugo flipped you off while Kirishima and Mina snickered at Bakugo’s salty expression.  Really, you admired Bakugo’s hero ethic, nothing was gonna stop him from getting to the top. But Shindo…? That was a different story. Eh, you couldn’t ponder it anymore since Aizawa sensei had shown up (with a sour look at all the audience) before commencing the match.
You were on the edge of your seat for the next 30 minutes as Bakugo and Shindo traded blow after blow; Shindo had a weakness since Bakugo was airborne due to his thrusters. But Shindo would drag Bakugo down and engage in hand to hand combat. Your legs were creeping closer and closer together at seeing those broad shoulders, rivulets of sweat down his neck and temple, and his determined expression. How would it look if it was faced at you? Focus on the match, not Shindo’s muscles. Focus, Focus. Eventually it came down to the timer and Bakugo had landed a higher number of blows.          
At Shindo’s loss, you felt a keen sense of disappointment. Some part of you cheered for Bakugo but you were desperately craning your neck to see Shindo’s reaction. His face remained darkened though as he turned around and went to his growing number of fangirls who cooed over him. With that many girls, why would he ever take a second look at you? They would cling onto him and stroke his overbearing ego—unlike you. You didn’t even have the courage to attempt to flirt with him. So what? You were blissfully single; you weren’t looking for anything with him.... Right?  
“… Y/N!” You were jolted away from staring, and secretly fantasizing, at Shindo. “Come on, let’s head out!” Kirishima put an arm around your shoulders and Mina was tugging at your sleeve in post-match excitement.
“Yeah! What are we doing now?” You pushed your hair back over your ear, the locks falling in every which direction. Slowing just a step back, you took one last look over your shoulder…  You mentally took a picture of those sinewy muscles, pledging to engrave it forever for those dark moments in your lonesome room. You had a great pro-hero path ahead of you, great friends, great family…
But fuck.
You definitely did not see Shindo looking at your retreating form with a smirk on his face.
 ----------------------------------------------------------
Repeat that fuck. Because you were in another karaoke room with this raucous UA and Ketsubetsu crowd mere hours later. It turned out that everyone wanted to celebrate the match by getting stupidly, wildly drunk. Drinks were smuggled in—god, you knew Aizawa was probably looking the other way—gotta let students be students.
People were chugging alcohol and dancing on tables. This was probably the most normal ‘school’ experience you could’ve had… Even ‘hero’ schools needed to let loose sometime. But you honestly didn’t do very well in this scene. You were content to nurse your drink while leaning against a quiet corner.
God, even Bakugo and Midoriya were drunk— Bakugo had been egged on while Midoriya probably didn’t even realize he took some spiked punch. He was a new level of naïve and that adorable boy had turned beet red. You just face palmed at seeing his embarrassing antics.
“Y/N!” Camie came bouncing over to you, palpable relief on her face. “You’re the only sober looking one here! Can you watch this idiot for a second? Maybe get him to drink some water?” She brought on over… Shindo?! “He’s becoming deadweight and he is ruining my chances tonight! He is the worst wingman ever to get so drunk after losing!” She dropped the deadweight—Shindo— onto the floor next to you with his legs sprawled open.
“I swear to god, he isn’t going to remember anything tomorrow! This incorrigible jerk is going to be black-out drunk like always….” Camie’s voice trailed off and got a little bit... higher? She looked away nervously, but you could see her gaze fall on … Ojiro? She said wingman... Oh no, she was trying to get together with him! You blushed for her!
“Camie, I got this. I’ll make sure he gets some water!” You tried to give her an encouraging look. Oh god, you were so bad at flirting and set ups! You could see how awkward this was for the both of you! But you would try your hardest to help her.
She bounced away while you…. Bent down… Oh gods you had never been this close to him before. You put your palm to his forehead, trying to feel how hot he was. Damn, he ran like a furnace. Shindo merely lolled his head to the side, sighing when your cool fingers made contact.
“Fuck, that feels nice.” Your hand shot back at hearing him talk. You didn’t think he was awake…
“I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. Do you want some water?” You were careful to keep your voice low, awkwardly putting your hand on his clothed shoulder.
“I’m thirsty.” His voice dropped low and you felt a twinge between your thighs at the cool gravel of it. “But I’m thirsty for something else…” He let the comment sit between you two…. But your inquisitive eyes flew between him and the punch.
“Honey... don’t look away.” His hot hands wrapped around your neck to crane your face towards his. “I want something wet, something that tastes like you.” You stood shock still, trying to see if you had misheard him…? Was he flirting with you?! Shindo gave a seductive grin as his other hand snaked up your bare thighs.
“Shindo!” You couldn’t hold back your squeak of surprise, feeling him so close to your panties. You tried to look down but he kept you locked in place.
“Come on baby, don’t you want to console little ‘ol me?” His voice was doing things to you— you could feel your legs grinding closer together, trapping his inquisitively still fingers between your thighs. “Baby, you’re so warm and wet for me already?”  He started rubbing his fingers lightly over your panties, feeling the damp spot that had built up from his earlier match.
“Wait—“ You tried to curl in, reach for his hand to stop him but he pushed aside your panties to slip a finger, rubbing it up and down your slit. A single lone digit had you stopping any protests, feeling it fucking vibrate. You leaned in closer, gasping, and he gave a satisfied smirk. His other cupped your butt in delectable promise.
“I can make a mess of you if were a little less of a public place…. Unless you’re into that, baby.”
Public place. Oh god. You straightened out, remembering you were in the dark karaoke room with people everywhere! He was fingering you where everyone could see! “Please, you’re not thinking straight.” You tried to say but stuttering as he pulled his digit away and licked it obscenely.
“Baby girl, don���t you want to be a good girl for me?” Shit, shit, shit. Baby girl. You moved before you could think, crushing your lips to his. He moved as if he knew what his sultry words would invoke, immediately balling his hands into your messy hair, plunging, ravaging, owning you.
“Wanna get out of here?” You nodded helplessly. He quickly hauled you up and left the raucous karaoke room with you by his side.
Fuck it, he wasn’t going to remember anything after tonight. What harm was it if you grabbed this one night with him?
You were inexperienced with sex, probably bad at it, but you didn’t care. It wasn’t like he would remember right?
So, repeat that fuck. No one would’ve ever expected you to be in the bathroom, sitting on Shindo’s lap and spreading your legs lewdly open for him. Your panties had long been discarded as you rutted desperately against Shindo Yo’s hand. “Please, Shindo…” Shindo squirmed a thumb into your asshole, teasing the puckered hole and was thrusting fingers in your cunt. You wanted something more…. Something bigger.
“Fuck…” Shindo watched at how wet you got for him, the sound of his fingers moving in and out and squelching lewdly. “Can you feel that?” You made a dissatisfied noise until his fingers went deeper into your cunt. “Bitch, you’re not satisfied. You need it deeper?” You made a keen whining noise, wiggling your hips. He shoved another digit in, now thrusting three of his digits deeper in while vibrating it and feeling the delicious squeeze of your cunt around him.
“I guess alcohol makes you numb huh? But the fun things I can do to you…” He breathed the words into your neck, giving a salacious grin at your wanton, deprived state.  Shit, vibration hero wasn’t just a title. He relished watching as your hips jerked forward, your boobs shoved lasciviously into his face in desperate need.
“God, you’re so buttoned up and serious most of the time. But here and now? Are you so hungry for me that you wanted to jump me in the bathroom?” Shindo’s fingers withdrew to your dismay. You whined as he gripped your cheeks painfully, smirking at your needy expression. “Honey, you gotta tell me what you want? Don’t just expect me to do all the work here.”
This was your only chance with him. Come tomorrow, he wouldn’t remember a thing and you could hold this memory in the darkest corner of your heart. Just one good long fuck and he would get back to his life and yours without anyone being the wiser. “Shindo, please...”
“Do you want me to finger you until you cum?” Shindo could get you off here and now—but you shook your head wildly and gave him a pleading look. Your cunt was throbbing for him and you wanted to feel his cock in you.
You laced your hands into Shindo’s hair and forced the brunette to look at your lust-hazed eyes, pitching your own voice low…  “Please fuck me, Shindo. Just stop teasing me, use me like I’m your fuck toy.” Shindo groaned low as he lowered his hands to your thighs and squeezed painfully at the plump flesh there.
“Babe, you’re such a dirty girl.” He hauled you up, shoving his pants down low with his cock jutting out. He couldn’t even be bothered to take his jeans off, but this sordid detail made the encounter more real to you. You looked down at his engorged length, heavy and hot against your cunt. God, even his dick was deliciously huge. Wasn’t just ego then.
 “Tell me, are you the type of slut who just wants a dick when you get drunk?” You took a deep breath; ignoring your rational thoughts that this was a stupid way to tell him and decided to just confess…
“Just you Shindo. Please… I’ve been wanting this for years. Please, please….” With that, Shindo groaned as he forced his cockhead into your abused cunt. He eased in... making you think Shindo was more gentle that he let on? Right up until he shoved you down onto his cock, grinning at the sharp jerk of your body and the scream that tore itself out of your throat. Shindo thought to himself: You wanted him to use you like his toy, so that’s what you would get.
You had heard Shindo fucked well. That didn’t begin to describe it—your pussy clenched against his cock at the rough treatment, the burning stretch turning you on with its delicious bite of pain. He thrusted with a piston movement, faster than you’d ever been fucked. When he started vibrating again? You felt your orgasm crash upon you. Your own nails raked against his back as he continued thrusting through your climax, biting down on your neck as he came inside you.
You both sat there for a second… breathing too hard to say anything. You had never had an orgasm that good before—and you honestly didn’t know if Shindo thought this was just a good fuck or shitty sex. Coming down from the high…. You had time to think. Which made you feel wildly inadequate—was this the part where you said something? Like, ‘thanks for the sex, I’m out?’
Was it too dumb to ask if he liked it? Was it even dumber to think maybe he had heard that you confess?
“Um…” You moved your leg and winced at feeling the seeping wetness crawl out between you two. “Shindo..?”
He was surprisingly quiet. His usual smug expression was hidden as he slumped into your shoulder. You eased away from him… but felt his hands tighten on your thighs as if to keep you there. Now you were very unsure of what to say.
“Shindo…. Let me look at you.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the dark locks as you tried to lift the heavy weight of his head to see his expression…? Was this something more to him too? “Please, let me know if you’re okay...”
“SHINDO! HONEY BUNS! LOVE OF MY LIFE!”
But then you were crushed with an overwhelming sense of guilt as you heard Tatami’s lilting voice calling for Shindo. The very same name but her cheerful bright voice was laced with concern—
“Fuck.” That what his first words after his sexual interlude with you was. From his forceful, angry gaze at the door… Oh god, were you his sordid secret? Your heart sank. He was drunk, he would probably black-out, did he even realize who he was with? Did he think he was fucking Tatami? Is that what this was?
“Shindo, let me go.” You crawled off his lap, forcing the hot and wet threat of tears down and keeping your voice steady. Shindo looked at you in panic—he couldn’t even bother to look at you earlier, but he would for Tatami? You didn’t even warrant your own, thank you, fuck you. “I guess it’s time to run huh?” You pulled your hair back, pulled your shirt to a modest length, as Tatami’s voice got closer.
Shindo shoved his pants more fully on, “Hey—this isn’t what you think this is. Let me explain.”
“Really?” You whirled around and threw him the most venomous glare you could muster—“Do you even know my name? Or am I just a fucking nameless bitch you mistook for Tatami? Because she is right there,” You jerked a thumb to the door and bit your lip, “She’s perfect and so amazing—” and you remembered Camie…. She trusted you. You had taken advantage of this. “And you’re fucking drunk so I’m literally the shittiest person ever. God, please forget this ever happened.”
Shindo was starting to look irritated at your non-stop words and made a move to speak but you slapped your hand on his mouth. Why else would she be looking for him? “Shindo, don’t explain anything to me. Just make things right by her and don’t ruin this because of this. You guys would be amazing together and she doesn’t deserve to know I fucked it up for you.”
You shoved him back into the bathroom as you exited, rather abruptly as Tatami turned to the wrong hallway. This would be perfect because it would give Shindo some time and you could escape— you could hear Shindo fumbling with the door, but you ran before he could catch you. Turned out your UA skills made you slightly faster than him.
You shoved your way to the exit, screw your purse, you could text Kirishima to take it home for you. You hailed the first taxi out the door to get you home as quickly as possible. It wasn’t until the car sped away that you took your first real breath… and sobbed.
“God, I’m so stupid to think he would ever look twice at me.”
You curled your hands around your cold arms, arms that had just been around Shindo… Was it too much to ask for a single night?
Was it too much to be in love?
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 “Y/N!” You had stayed in your room for the week, only crawling out to the third-year common rooms on Friday. You had gone home that night and laid on your bed, sobbing into the sweater that had briefly held Shindo’s scent. Maybe you were masochistic or something; holding onto something that was so painful to you. But the faint earthy smell, musk, and cedar was hard to let go.
“Yes?” You tried to smile. Midoriya came bounding up to you with a worried look. “You went home so suddenly the other night! You disappeared and never came back!”
“What, you get sick? You look like shit.” Bakugo snickered. Sero slapped him with one of the pillows and you could hear his frantic whispered conversation, you don’t tell a girl she looks horrible. The other girls were around, and Mina was creeping up on Sero, Kirishima and the others to get closer to you.
“Um… Yea.” You tried to laugh it off. But Midoriya still looked worried as he took in your slightly puffy eyes. It seemed like he could see through your flimsy excuse.
Thankfully, Mina interrupted you both with a mischievous grin. “Y/N, you had people asking after you after karaoke!” She had a sing-song tone, waggling her eyebrows. But your heart sunk further… Had it been Tatami? Camie? Had she found out? Because coming from Mina, this could be anyone.
“…Who was it?” If it was, you would face up to it. Because you were Y/N, and you didn’t run from your problems and you’d apologize to her.
“Actually…. It was Shindo.” Mina squealed and made kissy-kissy motions at you.
“Guys, shut up. It would never happen—” Bakugo scoffed and gestured toward you. “She wouldn’t date Mister Two-Faced, no one here is stupid enough to do that.” You felt defensive at hearing that about him, even if he is the source of your misery right now. 
“Bakugo, just because I wouldn’t date him doesn’t means he’s not a good hero. I’m just….” You trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse. But maybe your emotions were too raw, you found your bravado lacking as your voice became small. “… not good enough.”
Anything further was cut off as Bakugo suddenly lurched up, staring daggers at you. Even Midoriya had gone quiet, his brows furrowed. What had you done wrong?
“I don’t think saying that is reason for both of you to be so mad at me. What did I even do?” You wouldn’t stand there and take Bakugo’s shit. You weren’t good enough for Shindo but you were good enough to take on any of your friends in a fight. “Guys, why are you so mad at me?”
Kirishima’s mouth may have been open, he swears he wasn’t but you saw him rapidly point to... you? Behind? Whatever. His eyes were blown wide and he was trying to be subtle as fuck but you weren’t having it. You were trying to get over heartbreak, you came to see your friends and this was what you got?
“I swear to god, I will kick your ass, in training, Bakugo if you don’t look me in the eyes and talk to me like I am a human being and not like I grew another fucking head—”
You heard someone clear their throat, maybe even hold back a scoff and that voice was oh-so-familiar. Like someone you recently heard moaning. Someone that you… kindly shut your mouth and swiveled around with the fakest smile plastered on your feature. How did I miss Kirishima’s cue?
Shindo Yo was in your apartment complex. In your dorm common room. In front of you. Probably had been behind you and overheard what you said. To your dismay, he wasn’t uglier, but he was even more handsome in your two-day respite and everlasting embarrassment that could swallow you whole right now. Please let me die.
“Hey fuckface, you’re in the wrong school.” Bakugo was snarling at him as Shindo waved to the room.
“Hey blastie, it’s nice to see you too.” He gave a saccharine sweet smile to Bakugo, fully knowing how easily riled he was. Bakugo scowled at the name, ready to call him out.
Shindo smirked at Bakugo but otherwise held his hands up placatingly. “Don’t jump down my throat, I’m not here to pick a fight or spy on you all. You UA students are so jumpy.” Kaminari and Bakugo didn’t look believing but Midoriya finally smiled and gave him a friendly wave.
“What brings you here Shindo? And calm down Bakugo, he’s probably authorized to come inside. UA doesn’t let people just walk in.” Shindo nodded and held up… your bag and phone. No wonder Kirishima said he couldn’t find it! You had tried to ping it on your laptop, but it had been a mess without it and to text the others.
“I’m just here to return Y/N’s stuff and hopefully have a conversation with her.” He cocked his head to the side, glancing at you. He had his own (fake) smile on, giving a puppy dog look to the girls as they started fussing over you two.
“Of course Y/N would be grateful to talk to you!” You would? You looked back at Yaoyorozu who started shushing all the other guys, including Mineta who was shouting that ‘you had betrayed them all for Ketsubetsu!’ You were about to protest but Mina quickly slapped her hand over your mouth, nodding like a crazy person.
“In fact, you two should have some privacy! Off to your room, Y/N” And she discreetly whispered, “Preferably before Bakugo punches his face.”
Not my room. Not my room. You shook your head but Shindo took you by the arm and tightened his hand in warning. “Y/N, it’s the least you could do after I went through all the trouble of coming here.” It wasn’t until you both reached the stairs that Shindo dropped the smile, following your stiff movements to your room.
You waited until you were both safely away from prying ears and you closed your bedroom door behind him. “Shindo, you don’t need to be here. I don’t think we have anything to talk about unless you want me to apologize for troubling you?”
Your brain was running miles a minute. But you didn’t even know how much he remembered. Maybe just play ignorant for now.
Shindo sat down on your bed, throwing your purse carelessly onto a chair. God, he was so sinfully handsome in his black shirt and dark wash jeans. He knew how to flaunt his assets.
“Y/N, you need to stop playing games.” You hovered at the door and inched towards the doorknob… “If you decide to run away again, I’m going to fucking chain you to this bed until you hear me out.”
Scratch your idea of escape—but hot damn, you swallowed down your nervousness and felt your cunt throb. Being chained to his bed sounded far more appealing than it should. You tried to relax… tried to not show how much the threat turned you on. Because you clearly had priorities.
Like how he remembered that you ran away.
Shindo gestured for you to sit. You sat on the farthest corner away on the bed. Shindo gave a long-suffering sigh at your reluctance. “Y/N, I’m not going to bite. I’m not trying to trick you.” He took on a slightly more cajoling tone, tapping the sheets close to him.
“Shindo, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You looked nervously between the bed and him. His eyes turned darker and his voice a little lower.
“Why?” Shindo breathed out.
You shook your head, recognizing the line of question – he was fishing. Better to still be ignorant. Better to stay on-topic.
“So.” You changed the topic. “What do you mean by playing games, Shindo? I’ve never….” You kept the unspoken words in your head, ‘played, I’m in love with you.’ You continued on, "I’ve never asked you to come in. You could’ve just turned this in and gone back to your girlfriend.” You decided to test the waters because maybe he only remembered parts and not the entirety. You could still salvage this situation.
Shindo scoffed again. “And they say I’m the player. So, what if I have a girlfriend? You mean you’d never date me right? Because you’re such a high-born princess. Telling all your friends out there how you’d never consider me.” Your hands tightened together on your lap.
“Does it matter? You don’t need another notch on your belt, you have someone amazing and wonderful. She’s probably an amazing girlfriend already.” You were confused at his disparaging tone. Why was he turning this around on you? Why did he want you to suffer here with him? Did he just want to humiliate yourself?
“I’ll be nice and cut to the chase Y/N. Do you think I’m the kind of asshole to cheat on … Tatami?” It seemed to take a second for him to say her name. Like he was uncomfortable.
Well, if he was going to be honest…. “Shindo, I don’t think you’re an asshole. You act like one but I know you care and you’re not as evil as you say you are.” You breathed deep, reminding yourself you would face him once and for all. “I think you were drunk, and I was in the wrong for doing what I did.”
“Then why did you do it?” Shindo stared at you.
“Because—” Wow, this was getting uncomfortable fast. “You probably wouldn’t remember, and I thought you wouldn’t care. Not that I would ever help someone cheat, but can I blame you for mistaking me for her?” You tried to give off a casual shrug. “It was dark, it was hard to see. Obviously, my fault for thinking it was something else right?”
Shindo quirked an eyebrow, giving you a vague ‘hmm’.
What was up with this?
“You said you wanted to talk, and I said my piece. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do? Tell Tatami? Tell you I fucked up?” You were getting a little peeved; Shindo was literally your wet dream and he was in your room. This was the stuff of your daydreams, but this was the worst situation imaginable.
“I think you’re lying to me.” Shindo kicked off his shoes and swung his legs up to make himself comfortable. “And I don’t feel like leaving until you tell me the truth.”
Oh dear lord, this man was insufferable.
You crawled across the bed and shoved a hand into his chest. Trying to push him off but he made himself more comfortable into your pillows. “You, Shindo, are dating another girl and you’re sitting in my room wanting what? The truth or did you want some sex? Because this sounds like you want some pussy and I’m not the kind of girl who gives it up like this.”
“You gave it up in the bathroom.” Shindo’s eyes fell to your revealed cleavage, the neckline of your sweater had fallen when you got onto the bed. You shoved his face upwards, indignant now.
“That was because I thought you wouldn’t remember and you would forget everything! Even if I confess to you, it doesn’t matter.” Your voice broke on the last word as you finally felt the tears come back.
Shindo’s arm reached out for your elbow, grasping it slowly. Almost like he was actually unnerved by the fact you were crying. The gentleness in contrast to his normal roughness was endearing. He even rubbed your arm as he waited for you to continue. “Stupid Shindo, don’t look at a girl crying. That’s what I call an asshole move.”
“Y/N, do you want to be friends with benefits then?”
“Absolutely not.” Your answer was immediate. You wouldn’t compromise your morals for even him. “I’m not gonna help you cheat now I know you’re dating.”
“So you wanna date me instead then?”
You looked to the side. “No...” Even if it was in the realm of possibility.
“Then why did you confess if you want nothing from me? You wanted a good fuck? Should’ve known you’re the one who wanted a notch on your belt….” He sighed in mock disappointment.
You turned to him, affronted for both you and him. Your feelings weren’t that shallow! If anything, he should know that about you. “I won’t be your friends with benefit because I’m too invested in you. I actually like you and I’m not stupid enough to do that!” You couldn’t handle that kind of relationship.
“Then why won’t you date me?” Shindo goaded.
You couldn’t believe his asinine words. “Did you not get how I said Tatami is literally perfect?!” You were furious enough to shove a punch at him and he dodged it. You scampered upright and gestured to yourself.
“I’m not delusional Shindo so please fucking shut up about dating. I’m not good enough for you,” You threw up your fingers to rattle off your points, “I’m not pretty enough, I’m not confident enough, I’m not sexy enough.”You couldn’t stop yourself, memories of your ex-boyfriend’s accusations came flying in. “I’m a ‘fucking selfish prude’ because I want to be a pro-hero more than anything; even more than a stupid relationship.” You caved into your stupid insecurities and rants, expecting Shindo take a step back. Any guy would walk away from this kind of crazy.
Because everything your ex-boyfriend had pointed out, showed that you would never be good at a relationship. You were too independent, you were too focused, you were too selfish to ever be a good girlfriend. But … “I know this and I wanted to know what one night with you would be like….” Your voice fell to a pathetic, desperateness that you never wanted him to hear.
There was a certain relief though. An ease because you knew he would probably run away and any chance of a relationship was crumbling apart. So, he would leave. Maybe he’d tell everyone downstairs how insane you probably sounded.
“In fact, you’d do yourself a favor if you walked out and forgot this all happened.” Emphasis on the word favor, with as much derision and contempt you could feel.
Shindo rubbed one of his hands at the base of neck as he looked to the side, sighing even more. “You’re a clusterfuck of issues, princess, aren’t you?”
Wow, great words there Casanova.  You gestured to the door in agreement. Obviously, you can leave. Because what could you say? You sighed heavily when he didn’t move though. It seemed he wanted to prolong your misery, embarrassment, and possibly the most botched confession of all time.
“Okay, yes, I’m a cluster fuck of issues. You deserve better than whatever my stupid feelings would take you. So just be happy because you deserve someone amazing.” You knew you were being contrary, you had just confessed to him and turned him down.
“You’re getting to be a broken record Y/N”. Shindo still didn’t leave. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath in and out…. maybe he was just honestly needed a few minutes for it to sink in.
“Y/N, I’m still here. Closing your eyes and wishing me away isn’t gonna work.” Shindo was giving you a skeptical look now, cross-legged on the bed. He reached over to pull a pillow into his lap. Why was he getting even more comfortable?
Shindo sighed. “You’re a mess but now that the truth is out—the entire truth instead of this half-assed ‘I should be with Tatami’ shit, I have a few things to say.” Shindo wasn’t obtuse, he knew you had been looking at him. You had caught his eye from the get-go when he wondered what you looked like, what happened when your studious exterior was broken and stripped away. In fact, he thought of toying with you and fucking you once until your interest dissipated. It always did when girls found out his true nature. But you… you were different.
“First of all, I’m not dating Tatami. What she was calling me…” He rubbed his fingers between his furrowed brows. “She calls me that for shits and giggles in front of fangirls to mess with me.” You double-took at this.  “I was trying to hook up with you, Y/N, and I’m not dicking around with my friends.” Shindo grimaced at the mere thought.  “Whatever you came away with, I’m not desperate enough to pretend you were her.” You still felt yourself deflate though. He was dicking and fucking around right? At least he knew it was you… Much relief that was, you thought sarcastically.
Shindo waved his hand in front of your face, snapping his fingers. “Hey. Listen to me before you get the wrong idea.” Huh. Shindo was getting surprisingly good at reading you. “I don’t want to date Tatami but I want a chance at dating you.”
You … probably misheard that. “Dating who?”
Shindo chuckled. Actually, genuinely chuckled as he pointed at you. You threw a look over your shoulder to make sure there was no one behind you.  Shindo tried to look put off but his mouth was quirked up in amusement.
“Y/N, stop acting like an idiot. Look at me because I’m not done yet.” He looked relaxed with a bit of snark. You weren’t sure if even Shindo could fake this expression.
“Shindo, you want to date me, a fucking mess?” You interrupted him.
“Sounds like a mess that’s actually in love with me and willing to give me a chance.” Shindo wasn’t oblivious to the fact most women shied away from his dual-nature and strong dose of sadistic cruelty underneath his nice-guy exterior.
“Y/N, we’re both humans. We both have a lot of shit to work through, but it sounds like someone told you that they were an insecure asshole and took it out on you.” He wasn’t…. exactly wrong about your ex-boyfriend. You grimaced at the memories, of all the time you wasted on him.
“I personally wouldn’t mind a pro-hero girlfriend who takes no shit from anyone—even me. In fact, we can both compete for top 10 and beat out your UA classmates.” Shindo appreciated that you valued being a hero rather than a vapid girlfriend. It gave him a vaguely smug superiority to think of you being a hero of your own right, watch you flaunt your success to your UA classmates and watch them look on in envy when you were his girlfriend. Even blastie didn’t score this.
“And you said you weren’t sexy enough? Selfish prude? Y/N, that sounds like a guy didn’t know what he was doing.”
Some asshole obviously didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. You saying this was a fucking invitation to Shindo—you were a composed, staid, straight-laced kind of girl.  It turned him on since he wanted to see how your tight, nearly virgin pussy would take him. He wanted to see your discomposed face fall open in pleasure. He wanted to see how far he could break your composure and seriousness. Shindo had to shove his arousal down, feeling a wave of excitement at the thought of trying to find all your kinks and desires. God the possibilities were endless.
You, on the other hand, were leaning into him in confusion.
“This doesn’t sound like a reason for you to want to date me. It sounds like you’re playing nice-guy to make myself feel better and less crazy?”  In fact, you still half-expected Shindo would say this was all a joke.
Shindo felt his lip curve into a smile, slightly more cunning and a little more saccharine-sweet than you had ever seen him. “Come closer and I’ll tell you why you’re worth the trouble?” He crooked his finger and you felt yourself crawling towards him. He opened his legs, his soothing murmur acting like a lure for you—your worries were overwhelmed in face of his temptingly strong arms.
“Y/N.” You leaned in close—close enough for him to grab your head and crush his mouth over yours. You were so startled that you parted your lips in protest and he took the chance to forcibly shove his tongue in. He kissed like he was devouring you, his tongue licking into all the crevices of your mouth, tasting your sweetness and barely giving you a breath. One of his hands locked your waist in, another at the base of your neck as he refused to give you an inch of space.
This went on for long minutes until he finally lifted his mouth to give you a reprieve. You had been so close, so very close to rubbing your chest against his to feel more of his brawny muscle—but you still had enough reason to stop and shove at him uselessly. Little sanity that you had left…
“Are you suuuuper sure that you want to date someone like me?”
“I want to date you. I’m not in it for some pussy, babe. The truth is you like me despite that I’m a selfish two-faced bastard.” He rasped out. “That you like me enough to want me to be happy even though I want to fucking ruin you.” You found your thighs getting wet at his harsh voice. Shindo chuckled, almost as if he knew what he was going to you. “Some asshole doesn’t know how to handle you but that’s on them. I could have you riding, begging for me and making you come over and over if you were my girlfriend.” You felt his burgeoning erection and you had started to gyrate your hips with his—and you didn’t even realize. Your eyes were starting to glaze over with the promises he made…
But Shindo took on a more serious tone. “That you actually would cry over me because you want me here.” Your hands clenched in his black shirt, finding your sappy sentimental heart at war with the lust crawling from your hot throbbing cunt. As for Shindo…. He remembered your endearing show of affection. After you had left him in the bathroom, he had almost snapped at Tatami for ruining his post-coital moment. It actually felt nice to have you cuddle with him because he normally never cared for it.
“And you crying does things to me.” You looked up, a lilting questioning glint in your eyes. “I want to be the only one you’re crying about. Mostly when I’m fucking you, but I don’t want you with some other dick.” He wanted to be the only person you fell apart for.
“Shindo, I think that’s called sadism.” You quipped. Wow, in the heat of his confession, you still couldn’t hold back your commentary. Shindo liked this about you. Even in the throes of oncoming sex, you also could put him in his place but make him laugh.
“Hey, a relationship is all about compromise, right? It’s a fair trade when you’re the complicated one.” God, Shindo was crude but this confession was better than any flowery words ever could’ve been.
“I don’t know if it’s a compromise when I’m complicated and you’re a sadistic asshole… SHINDO!” Shindo thrust his erection into your clothed cunt as he cut the conversation short.
“Y/N, you’re either going to agree to be my girlfriend and I can fuck you right now. Or you can say no, and I will leave.” Shindo wasn’t really giving you a choice.
“Fine. If you are willing to take me, ‘clusterfuck’ of a mess as I am.” You said, finally feeling an inkling of hope beyond the fears you had built around yourself. You never thought Shindo would take a chance on you… nor you, on him. Because you were also starting to realize Shindo was never going to be the ideal, caring, considerate prince you had imagined in your childhood. And that wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted Shindo just as he was.
Shindo eagerly took off your shirt now, whistling once he saw your bra-less chest. “How could you keep this from me?” The bathroom lighting had done you no justice. You said you weren’t pretty but you were gorgeous. He muttered as much, you thought you even heard something about ‘thank god no one’s gonna fucking know how sexy you are’ but it was muffled as he stuffed his face between your boobs.  He started to slip off your shorts, but you stopped him with a soft kick. “Baby, that’s kinda violent don’t you think?” He didn’t let up though as he tugged it off.
You tugged at his shirt and put on a petulant pout, “Hey, I’m all for equality. Take off your clothes.” Shindo grinned and peeled off his shirt, finally letting you look at his muscled abs you had been admiring for months, that you had only taken peeks at. You impishly stole a kiss from him and unabashedly ran your hands down his abs.
“Wow, now that you’re not all desperate in a bathroom, you’re really mouthy.” He reluctantly ended the kiss, brushing a thumb against your lips at the end of his sentence. You gave a mischievous lick to his fingers, relishing the taste of Shindo’s skin. You craved more, leaning upward to lick the sweat off the base of his throat. He did a quick intake of breath as he growled, “Y/N, I thought you said you were a prude.”
You fell back onto the bed and gave a questioning look? “Apparently? I’ve never been so curious as to how someone else tasted.” You licked your lips to savor it a bit more. Shindo literally groaned.
“Stop saying shit like that or I‘ll be stuffing your mouth full of cock, babe.” Your face went beet-red as you suddenly stared down at his bulging briefs, of course he wore briefs, and envisioned it. “Oh babe, were you imagining it?” He cooed, smugness filling up the room. “You wanna see if I’ll take it slow? Let you get used to it?” He inched his briefs down, inch by inch. “Or will I stuff your face, watch you drool and choke on it?” You tried to cover your face because oh god, you had never been teased before.
“Oh baby, you’re in for so much if you’re embarrassed by just this.” Shindo was going to savor every bit of your embarrassed innocence.  This was pure gold. You were the picture of corrupted innocence with your hair splayed on the pillow, your chest and neck blushing pink, legs lewdly open and he could see the wetness gathering on your panties.
“Shindoooo” You whined.  
“Calm down, I’ll take it easy on you.” For now, he thought silently. He trailed his hand down, exploring the soft skin of your neck, teasingly brushing his hands over your hardened nipples… smirking when you squirmed underneath his gaze. His hand came to your stomach and he held still for a moment. He wondered if his cock could fill you up to the point you’d cry? A thought for another time. He slipped his finger underneath the waistband of your panties and grinned.
“How much do you like this pair?” You shrugged, not really knowing what he meant. At least until he slipped it off and held it tantalizingly to the side. “I kind of want a memento of our first official date.”
“Shindo, that is fucking nasty.” You could actually see how wet it was. Shindo shrugged.
“You said you were in love with me. Nasty is my default mode.” Shindo descended to your navel, sliding lower as he made himself comfortable. He propped one leg over his shoulder—wait, what was he doing? You were too new to this, but he couldn’t be thinking of that right?
“Babe, you gotta let me eat.” He swooped in while you tried to twist out of his grasp but he wasn’t going to let you escape. Never gonna let you run away again. Shindo hadn’t said this but the fact you were faster than him disgruntled him.  He licked deep into your cunt, opening up your moist, tight lips. You couldn’t move from the climbing pleasure as he lapped like a man starved. His mouth followed the throbbing of your cunt to the aching to your clit.  He gently suckled your clit, making breathy whiny gasps fall from your mouth.
“Last time was a little hard and fast. I wanna make sure you know I can be gentle as you want.” He let your orgasm build, watching the quivering of your thighs pull taut—and then the bastard withdrew.
“But is gentle what you want?” Shindo just…. breathed over your sensitive cunt. Didn’t move an inch. You could feel his fingers stroking your leg but nowhere near what you wanted. He was purposely edging you. “I remember what you said before. Are you my little fuck toy?” You nodded a little desperately. But it was not what he wanted to see, judging from his tightening fingers on your leg. He tutted at you.
What had he said before? You scrambled to remember. Remembered how he had lost control of himself at something you said… You realized. “Shindo, fuck your girlfriend like you mean it.” You reached a hand down to spread yourself open.
Shindo had expected something but not like that. “I was gonna go nice and slow because you’re my sweet little girlfriend, but it turns out you’re perfect for me.” He finally, finally started the slide of his fingers to probe deeper into your wet cunt and scissor your insides open. He was looking for that fleshy spot, leering at how your mouth fell open when he did find it. He turned his vibrating quirk on, watching you scream at the sudden quaking pressure. Only when you lay gasping and overstimulated, did he started inching his cock into your wetness. It was snug, tight, and still twitching from your orgasm--- Shindo’s eyes glazed over with pleasure, looking drunk on the feeling of you. 
Once he moved.. oh god. He was drinking up your little whimpers and sighs, starting a dominating rhythm. It didn’t matter what you said or how you begged; he thrust hard and fast,  kept you on edge when he slowed down, only to surprise you by pushing his cock punishingly hard against your sweet spot. It seemed like you were his little rag doll, subject to his whims—at least until he took pity on you, letting you orgasm when he finally came inside you. Even afterward, he kept you impaled and still on his cock. He enjoyed the feeling of cum slipping out of you, rubbing it back into your cunt. You shivered at feeling his fingers circle around, glazing your thighs with his release.
When you finally had some energy to talk, you scoffed. “That was gentle?”
“You should be glad that I didn’t vibrate my dick.” He shifted to lay on top of you, caging you in. You noticed he was careful not to crush you—something small that showed that he cared. He brought his slick fingers back to cup your face. “Gross, Shindo.” He grinned unrepentantly. He nuzzled your neck and you couldn’t resist playing with your boyfriend’s soft hair. It was a moment to cherish.
Then came his next statement. “Hey, what’s your dorm rules on boyfriends?” He barreled on, as if a thought just occurred to him. “Can I surprise McBlastie Bakugo in the morning? What I would give to see his face when he wakes up to see me.” He snickered. “So much for the fact you wouldn’t date me.“ You literally groaned for a whole different reason.
Shindo wasn’t going to let it rest though. When you stubbornly gave no answer, he took a different tactic. “Babe, don’t you want to show me off?” He cajoled you, rolling his hips a little deeper into yours. You clenched around him despite how tired you were. “Or we can just show off how I make you scream? Maybe we can even fuck on his bed?”
Okay. Shindo was an asshole and troll until the end of time, but he was officially your boyfriend. One part of having your dreams came true, you also had to forever mediate between him and your UA friends.
Eh. They could live with it.
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cakesunflower · 4 years
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Between The Aisles [Prince!Calum AU] One Shot
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A/N: this is just a random piece i drummed up. it’s 5.3k which is relatively short for me LMAO. i MIGHT do a second part to this but i’m not too sure yet; it depends if i’m in the mood to write second person again since we all know how much i hate that. but anyways. happy reading hehe
        The palace library is where you felt most at ease. It was, unsurprisingly, the quietest part of the overwhelmingly large estate, and you spent countless hours roaming the aisles, fingers brushing along the spines of the books, before finding a comfortable spot or a leather chair and losing yourself to a book of your choice. There were large windows on one side of the library, the glass actually taking up the entirety of the wall, allowing for endless natural light to bathe the room. The view was that of the valley below, the greenery as bright as the sunlight that streamed in—save for this time of year, where snow blanketed the grounds in pristine white and provided a haze through the sky. And sitting on a chair by the window, the snow falling gently outside, a book in your hands, was your favorite way to spend your time in the library.
           Along with, of course, the moments the Prince caught sight of you.
           The shelves in the library were many and stood tall, full of any and every novel and textbook and document the royal family and its curators could get their hands on to stock up. And through the gaps of the shelves down the long aisles, you would catch glimpses of Prince Calum making his way through, though never towards you—despite his attention being solely on you. You could feel it, every time—feel him. The way his dark eyes burned on your skin, a delicious sensation that simultaneously warmed you and sent chills down your spine. His wandering through the library would appear innocent, but you knew it was anything but. Knew that he was a predator on the hunt and every time, it was you who he was after. And you were compliant every time.
           Sometimes, the Prince would join you by taking a seat across from you, a book in his own hands. You two would sit in the quiet of the library, both doing your best in keeping your interest strictly on the books you were reading, never giving away the glances you’d lay upon the other. It was a game; always wanting to look at the other, but never wanting to be caught.
           It wasn’t as though your dalliance was forbidden; you were the daughter of Calum’s father’s, the King, most trusted advisor. You’d been living at the palace for as long as Calum had, were practically treated as royalty—though, not to the same extent as Calum, of course. But the only relationship you showed the world you had with Calum was that of being his friend, nothing more. It was easier that way, less attention.
           You didn’t enjoy it—the attention. But if it was Calum’s, during your private moments, you reveled in it.
           You often thought of that first night, where your friendship had turned into something more intimate, where you crossed a line neither of you expected to. It had been during one of the many parties the royal family threw in the palace—you couldn’t hope to remember what it had been for—and unsurprisingly had grown bored of the festivities. You were more prone to spend most of the night reading rather than drinking and entertaining people, which was why you had snuck off to the library. As the daughter of a high ranking member in the palace, just below the King and Queen, you were expected to present a smiling face and adapt to the role you were given. Unfortunately, your pretty face also deigned the attraction of the sons of noblemen and local lords—sons you didn’t want to entertain. So off to the library you went, the wine you had drank giving you the motivation to do so.
           It hadn’t been long after until there was another presence in the grand library, and you had been surprised, that first night, to look up from the book you had been reading to see the Prince himself wandering inside. How you two ended up hidden between the aisles as he took you against the shelves was a blur—but the memory of it actually happening was one burned in your head.
           It wasn’t as though the library was the only place where your trysts occurred; you’d often fall into one another’s beds, or the various hidden spots around the palace you grew up finding together in your explorations. But the library—it was a mutually favored location. A spot amongst hundreds of stories where you participated in one of your own, just for your eyes.
           Tonight, you were lost in the corner where the wall met the historical fiction section of the library, your bodies hidden by the rows and rows of high rising shelves, the setting sun dimming the room. How easily had Calum slid the leggings off of you, hands gripping your bare thighs, rings chilly against your heated skin as your legs wrapped around his hips, while he devoured your moans with the kisses he gave you. He tasted like peppermint, smelled delicious, and fit in you perfectly, familiarly, as his hips drove into yours at a wondrous, greedy pace.
           The world slipped away when it was just the two of you, and you tried not to think of how dangerous that was. To be so in tuned with the Prince, in how he made you feel, that everything else seemed second-best. But thoughts of anything else seemed impossible when you were with Calum, ever since you started seeking each other out for intimate companionship. You’d gotten a taste—more than a taste—and you were worried that you had grown addicted far quicker than anticipated.
           When you finished, heavy breaths mingling with his face buried in the crook of your neck, stubble tickling your skin as your fingers remained tangled in his growing blonde hair, you closed your eyes. Still joined intimately, you waited for your heart rate to settle, were all too aware of the electricity still coursing through your veins in the aftermath of your shattering release. That’s what it felt like every time Calum brought you to the edge—like the world had slipped from beneath your feet and you were falling, falling, falling.
           Calum pulled away as his dark eyes met your gaze, and the windows high on the wall behind you provided for just some of the setting sunlight to gleam against his eyes. His cheeks were slightly flushed, lips kissed. Your own gaze fell to them briefly, a tug in your chest to kiss him again, but you remained pressed against the wall, trying to ease your labored breathing. “You’re comin’ to the party tomorrow, right?” Calum asked, voice hushed and raspy, just a hint of breathlessness present.
           You reveled in the feel of one of his hands raising so the back of his knuckle could graze along your cheek, his touch gentle. A small, lazy smile tilted at your lips as you gazed up at him, appreciative of the rasp in his voice that always trickled in when he was with you. “Of course,” you answered, just as quietly. With a teasing tone, you added, “I wouldn’t miss your Highness’s twenty-fifth birthday.”
           He rolled his eyes, though the amusement danced in them, as well as in the tilt of his lips. Calum wasn’t too fond of you referring to him by his title—at least not when it was just you two, absent from the eyes of the public—but he was all too aware of your tendency to call him by such in a playful manner. He couldn’t lie, though—the look in your eyes when you did so, mischief glimmering in them, always stirred something in the pit of Calum’s stomach. Something desirable, something wanting.
           “You have the habit of running out of parties early,” Calum pointed out with a ghost of a smirk, heart thudding when the flush on your cheeks darkened.
           You leaned your head back against the wall, never breaking your gaze. Your voice was soft as you responded, “Nothing’s ever as riveting as what I find in this room.”
           Calum quirked an eyebrow, smirk widening. You often found him in this room, just as he did you, so Calum was inclined to agree with your statement. He leaned in, fingers dragging up the warm skin of your thigh as his lips brushed against yours, the electricity of the touch singeing his veins. In a low voice, he persuaded, “At least wait until after the cake’s cut.”
           A breathless laugh escaped you, knowing there was no significance in his request other than the fact that the cake was always cut hours into the party. Calum just wanted you to stay longer than you normally would. Since it was his birthday, you were inclined to let him have this. So you tilted your head, just enough to brush the tip of your nose with his, words coming out in a whisper, “As you wish, sire.”
           You had expected his gaze to darken at your words, had expected them to push him towards the desire that still burned him enough to kiss you again. It was why you’d said them, after all.
*****
           The party was more or less a masquerade ball. You knew it wasn’t Calum’s idea as much as it was his parents’, but you knew he didn’t entirely mind. The grand ballroom was decorated fittingly in blacks and purples, several tables along the sides of the room filled with delicious food, while the room itself was brimming with guests dressed in their finest suits and dresses, pairing them with intricate masks that covered their eyes.
           You had gone for a red dress, the top half lace with off-the-shoulder full sleeves and a long, slim skirt of tulle that swayed with the slightest of movements. Your mask was of a matching red lace against a white velvet, the click of your heels against the sleek floor drowned out by the music playing and the chatter of the guests mingling. In your hand was a flute of, rings and nails clinking against the glass when you had grabbed it, sharp eyes taking in your surroundings as you moved about. There was an odd sense of relief in your chest that came with this being a masquerade—maybe you could get away with not being the daughter of the King’s advisor but just you.
           Though every face was hard to place, there was one that you recognized right away—how could you not? Calum was the man of the night, and he certainly looked like it in his custom made black suit, the jacket glittering with swirling designs that gleamed under the bright lights of the ballroom. Even his mask, black with gold details, did next to nothing to hide his powerful personality. You recognized the rings on his fingers, the jewelry leaving imprints on your skin after every time you sought each other out for your private moments. You would know him anywhere by the way he carried himself, tall and proud and the next heir to the throne. You didn’t even need the stunning golden crown, bedecked in jewels of deep red and blue, to know that it was him. You’d know him anywhere.
           You hadn’t seen each other for most of the day, so you were patiently waiting for the moment to go up to him and wish him a happy birthday, to smile at him from under your mask without worrying too much of people looking at you too closely. And you watched, in that moment, as Calum glanced around after breaking away from a couple of people he’d been talking to.
           For a moment, you foolishly wondered if he was looking for you.
           But then, through the space of guests in gorgeous gowns and elegant suits, somehow Calum’s eyes found yours. You noted the curve of his lips, expecting to see a smirk, feeling the air get knocked out of your lungs at the sight of the grin that he wore. Then he made his way towards you, and you started moving towards him as well, stopping right when you were in front of one another. You smiled, sweet and adoring. “Happy birthday, Calum.”
           His smile widened when you uttered his name, raising his own glass to clink it against yours. “Hope you’re not planning your escape now that you’ve made an appearance.”
           Your cheeks flushed but smile remained, shooting him a mock offended look. “I would never,” you soothed, adoring the amusement dancing in his eyes.
           The music changed then, a whimsical ballad sweeping through the room as people sought partners to dance with. Calum’s dark eyes never left yours, and he offered his free hand with a gentle, “May I have this dance?”
           One simply doesn’t reject the Prince with such a request. Ignoring the escalating beating of your heart, you and Calum both put your glasses on a passing waiter’s tray, throat tightening as you placed your hand in Calum’s and his fingers wrapped around yours. You were all too aware of the gazes that weighed you down, the eyes on the Prince and the girl he was pulling towards the center of the room, whether they knew who you were or not. The attention wasn’t anything you enjoyed, though you should be used to it at this point, but you tried to focus on just one thing: Calum.
           He moved seamlessly through the crowd that made way for him, turning around to face you as his left hand grasped your right, your left resting upon his shoulder and reveling in his other arm wrapping around your waist, tugging you towards him, too intimate to be casual. But what the others in the room didn’t know just how far your intimacy went—far beyond the would-be innocent closeness of a slow dance.
           You tried to put it out of your mind, the stares, as you and Calum moved to the ballad amongst the other dancing guests, your body taut as your front pressed against his, your dress swaying with your movements. “You’re not nervous because of me, are you?” Calum questioned, the teasing tone easing into his voice.
           You were grateful for it, knowing that he was all too aware of your issues with too much public attention. Making light of it helped and he knew that. “You think too highly of yourself,” you replied quietly, a secretive smile curling at your lips.
           A smirk pulled at his mouth, looking down at you through the mask. “I’m a Prince—it’s in my nature.”
           “As is all this attention,” you said, almost breathlessly. You wished you could ignore the gazes completely, but it seemed next to impossible. With a small smile, you asked him, “Are you sure I can’t sneak off before the cake’s cut?”
           Calum raised his eyebrows, fingers holding a pleasant grip on yours, the metal of his rings clashing with your thinner ones. “You’d leave me to fend for myself?”
           A huff of a laugh escaped you, gently rolling your eyes as the small grin played on his face. “You’d be just fine without my company.”
           “Doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”
           Your cheeks flushed, warmth spreading through your body because of Calum’s words—and his own front pressed against yours. Your gaze slid over to your joined hands, a clear picture of crossing the line of casual and treading into intimacy with the way your fingers were linked together. It was difficult to block out the images flashing through your mind of your hands joined exactly like that, except it occurring during the moments where he took you against the wall in the library or where you both were tangled in either of your bed sheets. It was the way Calum held you that always had your thoughts wandering into dangerous territory, wondering if it could possibly be something more than just the two of you biding your time with each other’s company.
           Was there room for something more? Did he want that? Did you?
           Deep in your heart, you did. You couldn’t hide that even from yourself. But he was the Prince. And you often tried to escape whatever spotlight you already had in the palace—being with Calum would only intensify it.
           The voice in the back of her head reminded you of what you already had accepted, He’s worth it.
           “Hey,” Calum said softly, giving a squeeze of your hand until your gaze met his again. With a slight tilt of his head, he asked curiously, “Where did you go?”
           When you got lost in your thoughts just then, you knew he meant. Calum had the ability to read people pretty well—it was something he learned to do effortlessly in his upbringing—and it never slipped your mind that he could do it exceptionally well where you were concerned. He could read you like his favorite book.
           You were surprised you didn’t quite trip on your feet as you took in the way he was gazing at you. Brown eyes soft beneath the mask that glittered against his golden skin, an encouraging tilt on his lips. But you couldn’t tell him where your thoughts had taken you, couldn’t speak out about the imagination that held you captive most days, cruelly making you think about a relationship you didn’t believe would ever come to fruition. Calum was a Prince—he was destined to be with someone of royal status, or close to it, despite the way you, yourself, were treated because of your close affiliations with the royal family. Your name bore no title; you weren’t worthy. Not of him.
           Before you could even think of an answer you could casually pass off, someone stepped up to you. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, loves,” Calum’s mother, the Queen, spoke with a smile, always kind. Her eyes went to her son from behind her emerald green mask. “But there’s some people who want to wish you, sweetheart.”
           Calum glanced at you as you pressed your lips together in a kind smile. You’d stopped dancing at his mother’s arrival, but your touches remained. Calum glanced at you, as if he needed your permission to cut the dance short, and it pulled something in your chest as you gave just the barest dip of your chin. “I’m gonna get another drink,” you excused herself, reluctantly stepping out of his grasp. You didn’t dare acknowledge the coldness you felt without the warmth of his body.
           You watched as he was whisked away, biting the inside of your lip as you made your way out of the dancing crowd. Like you had said, you grabbed another drink, this time going for some red wine as you found a spot to linger at by the wall. You watched, sipping your drink, as the Queen led Calum to a small group of people, and you knew immediately they were some of the local lords—their wives and daughters right by their sides.
           Calum smiled at them, that charming Prince smile that effortlessly melted people, and you could just hear the giggles of the daughters despite the distance between you. You were so busy watching them, observing them, that you didn’t even notice the person who came to stand by your side until Luke huffed out a breath. “And so it begins.”
           You glanced up at your friend, the silver mask making his light blue eyes pop as you raised an eyebrow. “What begins?”
           Luke jerked his chin over to where Calum was, a wry smile on his lips. “The matchmaking. He’s already twenty-five, which means they’re gonna try to marry him off before he’s crowned king.” Luke shot you a glance, raising a curious eyebrow. “Come on, you know this.”
           You did know this, and suddenly your skin flushed from embarrassment. He was the Prince—the next to become King, and everyone knew that it would be sooner rather than later. That in itself had never slipped your mind—the notion of him marrying, however, did. And you couldn’t understand how, not with the conversations the two of you sometimes had when you laid in bed, staring at the high ceilings of your rooms. Where Calum would talk about his excitement of becoming King despite the pressures that came with it, only ever worried about the thought of getting married.
           He had made it clear to his parents, you knew, that he wanted to marry for love. Calum was never one to take something as significant as marriage lightly, and his parents understood—they, after all, had married for love. Still, that wouldn’t stop them from introducing their son to daughters of high ranking members of their society in hopes that one of them would catch Calum’s eye. It never escaped you that when Calum did talk about marriage, he always ended the conversation—before it could even start, honestly—by simply stating he’d only marry someone he loved, someone who wanted him and not his title. He could easily tell which girls were like that—most of them were, he had said.
           And you’d just listen, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that loving Calum was easier than breathing—and that it was his very title that suffocated the confession in your throat before it could ever escape.
           Your eyes were glued to Calum, watching that easy smile on his face as he chatted away with the women, and your chest tightened almost painfully. Every single available woman, you knew, would trip over their feet for Calum’s attention, to be the one he takes a second look at and be curious for more. And it twisted something in your stomach at the thought of it someday happening—of it happening tonight.
           You and Calum—you weren’t anything. Just two friends who were fooling around, to put it crudely. Who were you to be allowed a seat next to him other than the daughter of the crown’s advisor?
           The truth—one you already knew—slapped you in the face as you forced down the rest of the wine. How could you have been so stupid, so foolish, to fall for the Prince? How could you have believed that sleeping with him on more than one occasion wouldn’t lead your heart into despair? How naïve.
           You barely managed another hour of the party when you finally slipped away, feeling some guilt pool in your stomach at not being able to stick around for as long as Calum had wanted you to. But he was busy; many beautiful women were surrounding him in hopes of securing a future—he wouldn’t miss your presence too much, you figured.
           Of course you ended up in the library once more—getting lost in a fictional world with made up characters sounded much more enchanting than being stuck in reality. It was empty, unsurprisingly, the music and chatter of guests in the ballroom muted as you ventured into the one place you felt most comfortable. Despite it being nighttime, the sky beyond the glass wall was light with the haze of snowfall, frost icing the glass.
           You ventured down a random aisle, deciding to pick a book by whatever its title was, hoping it would be enough to distract you from the weight that had settled in your chest. You didn’t know what you were going to do; you desperately hoped this feeling, this ache and yearning, would disappear soon for your own good. But it was wishful thinking, a bitter part of your mind reminded. Falling in love with Calum had been effortless; falling out of it seemed impossible.
           You didn’t dare acknowledge the idea of him not feeling the same way about you at all.
           Your retreat to the library remained undisturbed for about twenty minutes when, in the quiet of the room, you heard one of the large doors creak open. You had found refuge on one of the leather chairs, your mask sitting on the table beside you as a novel about witches and witch-hunters sat open in your lap, legs folded beneath you as your dress pooled around your lap.
           Your heart raced at the thought of who would come to the library while there was a party in honor of the Prince going on, and it damn near stopped when Calum himself appeared, his mask missing as his dark eyes found you.
           The breath hitched in your throat as he frowned, approaching you, features shadowed thanks to the dull lighting you’d set the room into. As you peered at him, your stomach sank when you saw the disappointment etched into his face, mixing in with the hurt you hadn’t entirely expected. You knew it was a shitty thing to do, to leave his birthday celebration so early, but you had been thinking with your aching heart. Getting away in order to free yourself from the view of Calum with potential suitors had become a selfish priority.
           He stood just a few feet away from you, shrugging bitterly as he asked, “Did you even try to see your promise through?”
           You wanted to tell him you didn’t technically promise him anything. Instead, what came out of your mouth was a muttered, “Didn’t think you’d even notice I left.”
           Calum frowned, eyebrows knitting together and lips pulling downwards. “Of course I noticed you left. I would’ve come here sooner but Mum kept me by her side.”
           Dropping your gaze back down to the open book in your lap, you scoffed lightly. “Right—to introduce you to a potential bride.”
           You were losing control of yourself, you knew, with how easily the sarcastic and bitter remarks were slipping past your mouth. It was pathetic how unabashedly you were letting your feelings be known, practically shining a light on your jealousy and resentment. And it wasn’t fair—not to Calum, that you’d fallen for him. That you never let him know that there was something more you wanted with him. That putting aside your reluctance of being in any kind of spotlight would’ve been so easy so long as he was by your side.
           “To introduce me to potential suitors, yes,” Calum corrected carefully, slowly, and you could just hear the bewildered frown in his voice. You watched from your peripherals as he took a step towards you. “But I’ve told you—and Mum—that if I were to get married, it’d only be for love.”
           There was a burning in your eyes and you cursed yourself for becoming emotional. You couldn’t cry, not because of this. You willed the tears to keep at bay as you looked up once more to look at Calum. He was still frowning, confused as to what was happening, probably wondering what had gotten you in such a foul mood. Too quietly did you respond, “What’s stopping you from falling in love with one of them?”
           Dangerous. You were creeping towards dangerous, exposing territory, but you no longer found yourself caring. If he found out about your feelings, then so be it. You wouldn’t shy away, wouldn’t hide. Not anymore. He would know, and then it’d be up to him what to do with it. And maybe that was a coward’s way out, giving him the power so you wouldn’t have to make a decision, but it would make it easier to breathe.
           Calum’s lips tightened as his jaw clenched, the muscle feathering under the skin as he looked down at you. Emotions swirled in his dark gaze—too many for you to grasp. His crown glinted against the lights, but you couldn’t help but think his eyes glittered far more beautifully. His throat worked, voice a deep rasp as he held your gaze and stated evenly, “I won’t fall for any of them. I’m already in love with you.”
           The air rushed out of your lungs, almost audible in the silence that followed his unwavering confession. You were frozen where you sat, drinking in the sight of him as his words hung in the air. The honesty was bright in his eyes for you to see, open and true and needing you to believe the sincerity in his words—his feelings. Your throat locked as you took in the Prince before you—a King in every right—who had just laid himself bare in a few short words that meant everything.
           He loved you. Calum was in love with you.
           The tears you had tried to keep away ran freely down your cheeks. You didn’t even care that you could taste the salt on the corner of your lips. Something in Calum’s face crumpled when he saw your tears, and suddenly the Prince was on his knees before you, hands grasping yours in your lap as he looked up at you.
           “I’ve been in love with you long before we started finding each other in this library,” Calum said, his voice low and raspy and honest. His hands were warm around yours, the chill of his rings enticing as always. But all you could focus on was his brown eyes. On his earnest words. “It was torture—being with you but not being with you. But I kept it to myself out of fear that you didn’t feel the same, that you didn’t want the. . . Attention of being with me.” It was terrifying—and exciting—how well he knew her, in regards to his second statement, of course. Calum cracked a smile, small and hopeful. “Because holding you like that. . . Kissing you. . . and still being just your friend was better than the alternative.”
           Your heart was erratic in your chest, breath shaking as your trembling lips parted and you whispered, “You want to be with me? Outside of the library?”
           Calum tipped his chin up, maintaining your gaze, a softness in his eyes that melted your heart. “I want to be with you in any way you’ll have me.”
           You would be lying if you said there was no fear in that idea. It was present, of course, derived from your aversion to the attention you would no doubt receive by being at Calum’s side. You wanted him, not his crown, even though most would say it was one in the same. But if being with him meant being tied to the throne, then you would bear it. For your happiness, you would do it. For him, there was no question about it.
           Calum was waiting for your response, for you to say something, hands still clutching yours. And although this turn of events was unexpected, slightly frightening—it was all the more exciting and relieving. He loved you. He’d beensilently loving you, perhaps for as long as you have him, and you would have laughed at both of your cluelessness if you weren’t so deliriously happy.
           So you leaned forward, the book in your lap long forgotten, gaze never leaving Calum’s. The brown of his eyes was always so compelling, so alluring, his mouth waiting to be kissed. Your lips tilted up, a warmth spreading across your cheeks as you told him quietly, “I’ve spent so long loving you between these aisles. I’m ready to do it out there, too.”
           The smile he gave you wasn’t the one he wore as Prince, wasn’t the one he offered to lords and noblemen and their daughters and the media. No, this smile was one especially reserved for you; a smile that softened his eyes and decorated the corners with those happy crinkles, a smile that sent your heart racing and skin warming. It was the smile he gave you when you were in bed together, one he would shoot towards you during events neither of you were particularly fond of and your eyes met from across the room.
           It was the smile he wore right before he kissed you for the first time since both of your feelings had been made clear, lips soft and eager. This smile was yours.
--
tags: @irwinkitten​ @loveroflrh​ @meetashthere​ @astroashtonio​ @loverofhood​ @captain-what-is-going-on​ @angelbabiesss​ @singt0mecalum​ @hopelessxcynic​ @lfwallscouldtalk​ @bodhi-black​ @findingliam-o​ @softlrh​ @highfivecalum​ @malumsmermaid​ @erikamarie41​ @quintodosuniversos​ @longlastingdaydream​ @babylon-corgis​ @lukehemmingsunflower​ @miss-saltwatercowgirl​ @pastelpapermoons​ @conquerwhatliesahead92​ @rotten-kandy​ @metangi @neigcthood​ @ohhmuke​ @mindkaleidoscope​ @5sos-and-hessa​ @trustmeimawhalebiologist​ @vxlentinecal​ @pettybassists​ @vaporshawn​ @lu-my-golden-boi​ @visualm3nte​ @isabella-mae13​ @dontjinx-it​ @lifeakaharry​ @neonweeknds​ @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​ @calpalbby​ @grreatgooglymoogly​ @sunnysidesblog​ @miahelizaaabeth​ @dramallamawithsparkles​ @kaytiebug14​ @hoodskillerqueen​ @bitchinbabylon​ @empathycth​ @xhaileyreneex​ @tpwkcal​ @sublimehood​ @madbomb​ @raabiac​ @britnicole11​ @outofmylimitcal​ @wildflower-cth​ @wildflowergrae​ @bloodmoonashton​ @vxidhood​ @gosh-im-short​ @notinthesameguey​ @mycollectionofnuts​ @cthwldflwr​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @socorroann​ @talkfastromance4​ @calumftduke​ @musichoney​ @treatallwithkindness​ @partlysunnycal​ @dead-and-golden​ @kaeleykaeley​ @harrys-sun-flower​ @br-hoe​ 
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mrsmalfoymagic · 3 years
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Card Five
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I didn’t take long to find its owner. There seemed to be a force between the two of us to always find each other in a crowd. Like gravity pulling me to him.
And as my eyes made their way towards the fireplace, finally catching glimpse of Remus Lupin hunched into the heat, lost in a book as he always was, I began to blush. 
I put down my own and tried to delicately approach as to not startle him. He had a reputation for being clumsy, and - whilst holding a novel beside an open fire, I didn’t like his chances.
“Uh, Remus.” I announced quietly. He jerked his head up, face filling with crimson as he acknowledged me.
“Y/n. Hi.”
We’d only ever spent any length of time around each other at the library where we’d reside solitarily during our free periods or stupidly late hours. We were never ones for small talk, so outside of class I don’t believe we’d had a single conversation. In fact, I don’t believe I’d ever even heard him speak.
My face replicated the same blood red as his and I squinted awkwardly, holding up his card to inform him of our fates.
“I picked you.”
“Oh. Alright. I suppose we should go.” His accent was strong and educated, but anxious and timid. He stood, brushing down his robes and poising himself straight, shadowing over me and blocking the cloud of warmth crackling behind him.
His manner was polite as he assisted me through our classmates towards the cupboard. I had expected nothing less than chivalry of him. We were library partners, but never confirmed it through spoken – or even written word. The only exchanges placed were little smiles from above our pages, stealing glances between our world-escaping plights. Like perfectly placed bindings in time. Baring ourselves at our peak vulnerabilities to share in each other’s entertainment.
Despite the immensity of its size, we’d somehow know to not stray too far apart in the library; subconsciously finding our settlements a few tables apart, but always managing to achieve a perfect opposing line of vision; allowing the ability to master responses to new books or topics by the speed in which we completed them, the oftenest of locking eyes, or - in Remus’ case - if he’d fall asleep against the spreadeagle spine; something he seemed to do a lot.  
No, I didn’t know him, admittedly, but from these - our shared moments, I had come to recognise enough of his behaviours to learn he was wise above his age, caring and loyal beyond measure.
Yet somewhere, I sensed a fragility. Like a goose-feathered pillow hiding deeply an explosion that didn’t have a specific means of detonation.  
 He lit up the room as we entered. The door which Sirius and James were ardently protecting locked behind us and my cheeks burnt with nervousness. This wasn’t my usual idea of fun, but keeping myself under the radar with my classmates, I consenting to participating. And who better to face the music with than Remus Lupin. Without even knowing the remainder of cards still yet to be drawn, he was the best of all outcomes. I’d already made my silent connections with him. He’d become a peaceful existence in my life. But I wasn’t used to these interactions and felt lost in the realisation of this game’s objectives.
So as much as my inexperienced-self wished, there was no cowering behind books in here.
“Hello.” He grinned, again barely uttering. His cheeks expanded broadly through his expression and I couldn’t help but giggle. He was a charming discovery, to say the least. And despite my trembling fingers clasping behind my back, I felt safe.
“Any closer to finishing that book?” He took a step towards me, “I couldn’t help but notice it was a hardship.”
“Not at all. It’s my Astronomy class. Ironically, I feel I’m learning less the more I read about it.”
Another step closer.
“Perhaps I could help. What part are you studying?”
“Selenography. The moon.”
His smile widened and he was now upon me; directly in my space; his brogues hitting the tips of my own. There was a new glint in his heavy, restful eyes. No doubt his lack of sleep was from staying up all night reading new books.
“I know a thing or two.” His voice was gentle, almost seductive.
What I couldn’t help but note was his odour – crisp pages and the incense of ink. He had ash residue on his robes from the spitting logs, and I could still smell the fire against him. It was addictive and was guaranteed the blame to my momentary out of character response.
“You’re still talking about my class, right?”
I couldn’t believe it - it just came out. I shocked myself realising I was flirting.
He reacted coolly but tilted his head with a squint of curiosity.
“No, I don’t believe I am.” His expression suddenly shared the same self-intrigue as mine. We were both flirting.
Taken aback by his own response, he tried a subtle retreat, but began to stumble over his robes; hobbling backwards to catch himself until eventually, with a small grunt, landed harshly against the door with a shocking bang.
He was intelligent and adorable beyond compare, but heavens, was he uncoordinated.
“Damn it.” He cursed, gripping on the doorframe to support himself upright.
“You two alright in there?” Sirius yelled out on the adjacent side of the door with a few determined knocks.
“Yes.” Remus replied loudly in an irritated mortification and lowered his face into his palms. 
I watched him for a moment, a glint of pity against the reassuring smile I had pinned to my lips in case he looked up. Until suddenly, and unexpectedly, I started to laugh.
It was provoked by shyness and pure embarrassment, I was sure - feeling the knot cripple me into submission and before I knew it, I was wiping the tears out of my eyes and steadying myself against the stone wall.
“Sorry.” I breathed, believing my response was humiliating him further. But, as my hands fell back to my sides, they grazed at the form of Remus, who had now approached me again.
I looked up to find his manner bothered. His eyes blinked harshly as he considered himself.
“May I?” he asked, lifting his hand, and holding it upright towards my cheek. I nodded, keeping my eyes firmly on his fluttering ones.
Using the stub of his index finger, he carefully tucked the falling wave of hair behind my ear. Exhaling in relief, a new smile formed upon his full lips, like he had just performed a task of great difficulty.
“I can’t do justice to the full expression,” He muttered kindly whilst still admiring the tiny details of my facial outline, “But you have an entrancing effect on me.”
His fingers were now lacing around the curls against my shoulder, inspecting the silky texture.
“You aren’t to understand. I would never expect you to.”
After half a minute of combing at my hair and being lost in reverie, he gulped away a forming sorrow before lowering his head on his shoulders.
”I wish it were as simple as telling you.”
I pinched at his chin and lifted his face to find mine once again, showcasing the similar smile I had previously.
“Then show me.” I said softly.
In any other setting I would be out of place with these interactions, but with Remus, it all felt natural.
He considered my words for a moment and the seriousness of my focus against his almond eyes, before finding my hand.
“Are you ready for your first Astronomy lesson?” his lip ticked to a short smile.
I nodded innocently and allowed Remus to direct me out of the closet and begin heading towards the Astronomy tower.
 We walked in silence, making sure to hide in the shadows of the halls and columns whenever we suspected a prefect or professor was heading our way, before at long last we made it to the highest point of the castle. The Astronomy tower was webbed with rails and structures, architectural beams lined the extent of the room. A brass sundial pointed outwards towards the cloudless evening. Golden and intricately detailed telescopes were poised at all four corners of the open bays.
Other than the basic tools to marvel at the heavens, there was little as far as interior to the tower – its masterpiece of course being the view it held - displaying full range of vision to every area of Hogwarts including as distant as elements of the Forbidden Forest.
 Staying adamantly in the darkness of the room, Remus issued me towards the centre directly in front of the magnificent global display, illuminated by the full moon now baring down from the midnight hour and in through the widest, banistered opening which welcomed a deadly, multi-story drop.
“Lesson one.” He started, wandering in the pitch blackness. His voice rippled through the tower, “The moon is separated into three parts. The light, dark… and grey.” He hesitated.
“I’ve been studying the light side. You know, the part we can see through a telescope.” I informed naively.
“Right. And the dark is not all that important. The grey area, however, is what I want to talk about.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“For good reason.” I lost him in the night, but could sense the trouble in his tone, “So before I tell you, are you absolutely sure you want to know?”
I shuffled in my spot, a sense of discomfort overcoming me but nodded; knowing that – despite not seeing him – he had firm eyes on me.
“Then rest assured, whatever the outcome, I won’t hurt you.”
The suddenness of the claim trickled unease against my spine. What was I doing here? What was Remus going to do?
That feeling of safety never seemed to slip away but I knew with any ounce of logic, I should never have followed him here. And, as a group of footsteps and voice came from the entrance, these newcomers felt the same too.
“What are you doing? Have you gone barmy?” Sirius Black yelled out as he fully emerged into the room, tailed closely by the two final Marauders, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. They’d clearly chased us here from the party, knowing the suspicious activities Remus was due to perform.
“Moony, don’t be stupid.” James insulted with a knowing attitude. It was as if they all had a sense of understanding of the situation. All except me.
I could hear the shuffle of feet ahead of me in the closest area of shade and knew Remus was before me.  
“Wait. I just want to try. Trust me.” His arms appeared from the distance and held out in a terrible attempt of reassurance, but he was unconvinced himself.
“In the castle? In front of her?” Sirius directed his attention to where I was stood, a wave of worry across his brow.
“You know what will happen if you take that step.” Peter reminded - his eyes focused on the blinding of the full moon upon the rest of us. I followed his sights, still trying to piece together this encounter.
“I’ll handle it. I’m ready.”
Remus took a single step closer making way towards the lit-up ground. James, unannounced, lifted his wand and licked his top lip anxiously.
“You know I don’t want to hurt you.” He recoiled, his wand ready and pointed, and face contorted in anguish.
“You won’t have to. I promise. Y/n…” he found my hard and intense eyes. I could feel it.
“Remus, what’s going on?” I pleaded; my tremoring hands now unable to settle.
“Y/n, get behind me.” Sirius stood forward, reaching over for my hand, “Now.”
I didn’t take it.
“Let’s all just calm down, alright.” Remus was more impatient, “I think I know what prevents it. I can stop this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Please, y/n.” James warned, his hand tightened on the wand still firmly fixed on his friend.
“Before you.” Remus resumed, “Before I ever met you, I was dangerous.”
The sound of another shuffle.
“Lupin – “ Sirius cautioned lowly, now standing in front of me to shield me.
“- Let me finish.” His voice was irritable now, feeling the hostility of the room become dense in his breath, “I was terrified of myself. The darkness inside was overwhelming. I began to go the library to distract myself. I thought it a good place to escape. It was safe, away from prying eyes. Away from who I really am; a monster.“
“- Are you sure you want her to know?” Peter questioned. Remus ignored him. And so did I.
“You’re not a monster, Remus. I at least know that about you.”
My voice was begging, filled with panic and honesty. I heard a half-hearted sigh.
“When I saw you, everything changed. I finally felt at ease.”
He took a slow step towards the light and we could at last see him. His eyes were low and his expression solemn. The boys stirred.
“And over time I slowly realised it had nothing to do with where I was at all. I’d found comfort in where you were. So -”
As he was about to take the last move into the direct beam of the moon, Sirius jerked forward.
“Really think about this, Remus. What this will do.”
Remus pursed his lips together defiantly and took a brave inhale through his nostrils, before moving aside, burning himself in the glow.
The boys all flinched and reacted in alarm. For a moment they seemed reassured as nothing happened. Remus’ eyes remained closed and face deep in concentration.
We all stared onwards, my breath heavy and out of sync.
Then out of nowhere, Remus’ body began to seize, an agony crippling him in half. He began to cry out in pain, his voice becoming hoarse from the scream.
Sirius’ stance against me widened as he paced forward, and with a confirming nod to James, began to hunch himself over. I was frozen in disorientation; completely useless to help him because I had no clue what was causing any of this. James had not fired any spells; Sirius had not flung himself at him yet. There was no logical explanation for his reaction - his turmoil. Or even theirs.
“Remus, I’ll have to change.” Sirius looked over his brow at him, bracing himself.
“No!” Remus desperately reached his arm out, preventing him. He fell to his knees, soaring in twitching intensity.
“Y/n, you really ought to go.” Peter said with a quiver in his voice as he approached me.
“She stays.” Remus wheezed, “She needs to know.”
And suddenly I did. Like a jolt of lightening to my system. Him saying that - I knew. I finally knew.
The library. The restless sleep. The grey part of the moon. Somewhere in my subconscious I had read it during my studies. This was it - his detonation.
Remus Lupin was a werewolf.
“Remus, this is ridiculous. James!” Sirius looked to the wand, but before James could do anything, I had bypassed the chaos and, fuelled by unprecedented compassion, made way towards Remus.
Kneeling before him, I rested my hand against the trembling, vein-popping one gripping at the cold floor. Sirius aimed for us, but Peter held his robe and pulled him back, suspecting my intentions.
“Remus, you don’t have to prove this to me. This isn’t who you are.”
He was looking down, begging for release from the boiling against his skin.
“I can control it, I swear. I just –“
He was letting go, being defeated by the pain of his harsh reality - his disbelief that he was anything other than a violent beast. He thought bringing me would make him see that it wasn’t true - that he could command it. But now, with the magnitude of celestial torment against his back, the strength of his curse running through him as thick as his poisoned blood, he couldn’t stop it. It was overbearing the test he so desperately wished to pass. He wanted to stand in front of the moon, and for once, be human.
And I understood it now. It all made sense, it always had – our ties together, our purposes for being so close without uttering a single word, being calming presences for each other. Why we were so drawn to one another. The control, the distraction. He couldn’t master it himself.
 Maybe all of this was never his choice to make.
 Maybe it was mine.
 Under my palm, I could sense the stubble of hair bursting from his pores and nails expanding to ferocious claws.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t - you have to go.” He admitted in surrender. I felt the air thicken behind me as the three friends prepared for a battle once this would inevitably get ugly.
I shook my head and grabbed his in my hands, allowing the risk of his free forming claw to attack at any given moment. But I trusted him. As he said, he wouldn’t hurt me. And I knew it.
I stole his eyes, begging into them to see me. His were squinted in terror, budding with tears. His lips trembled in fear and sincerity.
“I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.”
My throat pulsed with adrenaline filled oxygen and just like that, my lips crashed onto his. It was painful and severe and with purpose. His skin was white hot, but it was fragile all the same, filled with desire and need, and a magnificent vulnerability.
I could feel the twitching against his mouth, the irregular beat of his heart as my arms found their way around his shoulders and to his back to comfort him in an embrace.
Suddenly, his own cupped around me and stole me into his whimpered stature. I gasped, and clenched my eyes shut – for a moment I had thought he had fully transformed and was initiating an attack. But I began to feel warm, gentle hands, with gracious tips and no sharp talons.
He was softening in the hug, returning to his own senses. His skin was cooled and still, his bones stopped vibrating, and the boy I had so deeply considered, so earnestly cared for was back.
 “How in the fu-“ James mouthed, slumping his arms to his sides, and dropping his wand. Sirius looked over to him, finally able to let out a bewildered breath that had left him since the beginning of this confrontation. Peter stared on with a cheery, relieving laugh.
Remus refused to let me go, and I could feel his content as he wrapped me up in his body. I began to smile through his kiss pressed safely against my own. He pulled away, watching me with admiration.
We both stood, Remus still encasing me in his cuddle, and as we both finally found steadiness from the sting of the concrete floor, he noted the moon still highlighted across my face.
Swallowing in anticipation, I awaited his response.
“I knew it.” He exhaled brokenly, still sore and shaking his head subtly in disbelief as he stared intently at me.
“Not clumsy.” I giggled tenderly, brushing the flustered strands of hair away from his clammy temple, “Just a little reckless.”
He pecked at my forehead before lowering his to mine, “Thank you.”
 “Uh, hello?!”
We both stared back at the friends now inspecting the pair of us in befuddlement.
“I told you to trust me.” Remus squinted from the unaccustomed brightness and teased a smirk.
With murmured cursives, they all approached, playfully retrieved Remus, and tackled him under the hue of the full moon, completely free of the fear that had devastated the entirety of their friendship. At last, but not knowing how long or how guaranteed the freedom, they weren’t looking to the night sky to determine their friend’s fate. Or even their own. The conversation could wait, for now they wanted to savour it, and by the looks on all their faces, they certainly were.
 After the ruckus, Remus took my hand and aided me back to the room of requirement where the party had died down, and students were dispersing to their dorms.
“I can finally have a night off from your wolfy shenanigans.” Sirius joked as they all gave quick exchanges of farewells; James tapped me on the back gratefully while Sirius winked his thanks. Peter ruffled up Remus’ hair before the three of them headed back to their own rooms with new skips in their steps.
 As I swivelled to face him, ready to declare my own goodnight after quite possibly the best, craziest and most mentally exhausting night of my life so far, Remus had made way towards the other end of the small area that we had spent the larger portion of our evening; back at the grand fireplace to retrieve the book that had been awaiting his return. The flames were still high, and the room dimly-lit. He glanced over at me with a look of pure welcome.
The reality was, I didn’t want to go to my dorm. Not one bit. I was finally able to be alone with Remus tonight, for its majority had been plagued with self-loathing and misunderstanding. Now, stood against the heat of the room with a look of unimaginable adoration, I couldn’t resist enjoying his company longer.
I came to, inviting myself into his space and ran one hand up against the chest of almost tattered robes while the other caressed against the top of his fingers clutching his book.
He raised his brow with a cheeky expression.
“No more funny business. How about you just… read to me.”
He stole a light approving kiss and ushered me to sit beside him on the large sofa. Wriggling my way below the arm he now had raised for me to rest under, he skimmed the pages and creased spine to find his place in his story.
He gave me one last check, beaming with appreciation, and comforted himself into my embrace.
“The day had finally arrived. After four years in the waiting, the infamous Robert Grimshaw would return home. Whenever the appropriate occasions called, the locals would greed themselves on talk of him - his woeful story, and his inevitable demise. Whispers were regularly made of his return, often retold, and largely falsified…“
I settled in, feeling my heavy eyes lower into a soft slumber against Remus’ low beating heart.
It was turning to be a quiet night and at long last for Remus…
 Peaceful.
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shadowsfascination · 3 years
Text
Shadamy Swordland | Ch 1 | The Hayloft
In reference to this post Sorry if it’s a little long!I might add a second chapter to this. I got carried away and alrady wrote the draft, aaah! ^^
The Chaos energy that we know from the canon is seen here as a source of magical powers. One can master spells and learn the sacred arts to perform them. Special thanks to @shadamyheadcanons for writing all these beautiful headcanons. You may not know, but your writings are a huge inspiration to me and brighten up my day (:  I’m not even sure whether I write well, but here goes, lol! ___________________________________________
There’s a hidden entrance to the hayloft above the stables-building where Shadow used withdraw himself after a day of training his students or intense swordfights. It’s accessed by a ladder, stuffed away in a dark corner of the stables-building. One must know about it’s existence to use it or one will not even find it. To keep it like this, Shadow told no one about it, so he’d be left alone, even if he has a pleasant home to go to. His house was located near the central square on the academy and therefore way too noisy for him. Shadow liked the quiet so he could think. He was sensitive to incentives, which could be a blessing and a curse all at once. In addition to the crowdy location of his home, there’d also be the many, many encounters he’d have with young female students who always ‘happened’ to run into him on his way home that he’d rather go without. Notorious for being an excellent swordsman and a noble too, there’d always be female students trying to catch his eye. When both not intending to engage in nor interested in any romantic affair, he’d also feel extremely awkward not knowing how to let them down easily. He had a reputation of being blunt and did not want to add to it. Especially after he’d been called to the board to explain why there had been gossips around the academy about a romantic involvement with one of his students, Amy Rose.
He made clear to the board there was no such thing going on between them and offendedly told them that their presupposition was to be unheard of. He was her superior, she was his trainee. It was unthinkable that he’d become romantically involved with her. Even more so because he was a noble and she was not. No, Shadow had no interest in romance whatsoever. His work as a trainer and duty as a knight was too important to him and he did not let anything distract him from that. And so he returned to his hayloft, alone. Or so it seemed…
A cloaked Amy Rose snuck out of the trainees’ dorm in the middle of the night, remaining in the shadows of the academy buildings. When unable to avoid stepping into the range of the torchlights on the streets, she used her special skill to briefly turn invisible and disappeared into the shadows again. No one would catch a glimpse of her. She’d been doing it for about two months now and became more skilled in the art of hiding, blending into the background and admitted to herself that she even enjoyed sneaking around. Checking for the last time to see if the coast was clear, she placed her boots on the spurts of the ladder and carefully climbed up. Once she made it to the stables-building, she was safe. No one would come around at this hour and it was far away from the dorm. And that meant she didn’t have to be quiet anymore. A wave of excitement rushed through her as she stepped further, peaking around one of the wooden support-beams. Her trainer and now secret lover was napping in the hay, a twig of wheat between his lips, armor and sword removed. Even without any of it he was still extremely handsome.
“You’re here.” “Hey you!” Amy felt caught. She kept forgetting how well developed his senses were. A heat gushed to her cheeks. “Did no one see you?” “No. Surprisingly, there wasn’t anyone out there tonight.” Amy stepped in on him, out of the small, faint light that managed to beam into the loft. “Lucky you.” “I am. I get to spend time with you.” She seductively winked at him. “We see each other almost every day. I would say we already spend a lot of time together.” “Yes, but almost never can I do this…” Amy bent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Shadow then grasped her wrists and pulled her into him to passionately return her gesture and playfully pulled her over into the stack of hay he laid in. Twigs of straw flew up around them and the old, wooden floors creaked at her landing, slightly startling the horses in the stables beneath them. Cloak and rapier were taken off to be placed near his sword and amor. Besides her room at the dorm and the bathing facility, this was the only place where she’d put her sword away. Even when their district wasn’t engaged in a war currently, there were lots of obscure figures around with bad intentions and she should be able to handle them herself at all times. But not here. She was safe around him and could even pretend to be a damsel in destress if she wanted. She properly sat next to him, being handed a handmade clay cup with fresh water, which was all he could provide her up here. It was unevenly round and was a steal from the dorm-kitchen.
“Sadly you cannot. I was called to the board a few days ago.” “What? Why?” “They asked me to explain the apparently present gossips about us being romantically involved. I believe they bought my story, seeing how the apologized for the improper assumption after my offended reaction.” “There’s gossips about us? That’s bad! I cannot imagine who would have caught onto us. We’ve been really careful.” Amy chewed her lip and drew a sorrowfully face, staring at her reflection in the cup.
“Beats me.” “So, what did you tell them?” “I might have raised my voice and angrily scolded them for daring to accuse me of such foul, improper behaviour, you know?” Shadow said with a neutral expression. Amy heaved a sigh. “Plagues, Shadow! You really said that? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course that’s what you said!” “What are you being so dramatic for? It is in fact one of the very few assets that comes with the title of being a noble.” “You’re hopeless. Others will despise you for this kind of behaviour.” “What business do I have with others? Besides, they’re already not very fond of me. I’m an outsider and always will be. Anyway, we have got to be extra cautious from now on. They let me off with a warning, but this is serious.” “Serious, how?” “If they have the slightest proof that something is in fact going on, I’ll be suspended from training students and you’ll…” A long pause followed while Shadow looked away from her.
“You’ll be refrained from participating in battles, not allowing you to advance in your training or education. Worst case scenario might be that you’ll even be transferred to another academy.” “Aaargh! That’s so unfair!”
Amy intensified the grip on the cup enough to cause a crack in the enamel and angrily muttered about the ways she could scold the board for being this unreasonable. If it weren’t the middle of the night her somewhat impulsive, hot-headed nature might’ve gotten the best of her, storming off to the board to give them a piece of her mind. That was if they’d even let them see her. It wasn’t her place, coming from a lower-rank family. She furiously hated the hierarchy in the world and let out a curse. Shadow then grabbed her face and accidentally squeezed her muzzle a little too hard. Interrupting her many wrath-driven ideas to change the board’s vision, she was now forced to look at him. “I’m telling you now: you are NOT to mingle in this! I forbid it.”
“You forbid it?!” Amy broke away from his grip, bewildered and offended by his statement. “Yes, I forbid it. One of the benefits of being both your trainer and your lover. You’ll only make things look more suspicious.” An angry frown appeared on her face. “It’s not okay that they have that much power! I hate it! It shouldn’t matter! It doesn’t matter how big the gap between us is! I don’t understand how you’re not upset about this?!” “Fire and torments, Amy!” Shadow yelled at her. “Just get over it! Both our futures are at stake here! You have great potential to become a fine swordswomen and I’m not just saying that because you’re my trainee.” “So, our career-perspective is all that matters to you?” A sudden cold gushed through his body and Shadow’s face grew pale, leaving his hands to tremble and fists clenched. “How dare you say that to me?!” He whirled around, pushed her down and bent over her. The heart that had eagerly anticipated being with him tonight was now afraid of him for the first time in her life. It cramped inside her chest in fear, but that feeling faded to be replaced with a mixture of compassion and sadness when she caught his gaze. “BLAST, women! You’re the only person I choose to hang out with voluntarily. THE ONLY ONE!” A crack in his voice ended his scream. Startled by his outburst and her own false accusations, mean even in a way, Amy fell quiet. He wasn’t angry. He was afraid! Afraid to lose her. Shadow turned his face away from her, swallowed and bitterly stated: “If that’s what you think of me, you’d better take lea-“ Amy leaned in on Shadow, pulling him into her and silenced his doubts with a passionate, yet tender kiss. The hands that were clenched together as fists just a moment ago, opened up and slid under her back to lift her in his arms, holding her closer to his body. Her heartrate changed into a different pace, still rapid, but now driven by the intimate connection between them. She broke away from their kiss, eyes tearing up. “I don’t! At all!” He nodded at her once, closing the remaining distance between them again before she could entirely finished her sentence. He not only locked lips with her once more, but lifted her muzzle with his index-finger to force her gaze upon his. Amy then clasped her hands onto his back, slightly losing touch with reality with every touch. She ran her fingers through his quills in ways that made him shiver, returning his hasty, impatient ways of loving her. Shadow’s lips found their way to the soft lines that formed her jaw, then her neck and softly, heatedly blew in her ear, sending a hot rush through her veins. Abruptly he sat up. “Shadow, wha-“ He silenced her at once. His ears then twitched. Did he hear something? She held her breath. Suddenly the least of background sounds were highly present and she couldn’t differentiate them anymore. Luckily, as a feature of the ultimate lifeform, he was more than qualified to. When he breathed out at last, she followed his lead. “False alarm. I thought I heard something there for a minute.” Already leaning in to pick up where they left, Shadow was stopped by Amy. “Hey…I’m really sorry about before…” “Just promise me that you’ll stay out of it.” “I’ll bear with it.” “It’s only until you graduate. Now, can we please drop the subject?”
“Sure thing, my lord.”
She stuck out her tongue, knowing he hated to be called that and gave him a playful push, but was suddenly startled by the sound of a crack coming from the ladder. “Someone’s here!” She whispered with eyes wide open. She panicked, grasped in the direction of her belt to find that her sword still laid on the haystack and rushed over to get it. Being followed by Shadow, who also gathered his armor and sword and pulled her close to him. She looked at him in confusion. “Trust me, I have a trick up my sleeve: Chaos Control.” Having arrived at his house by teleportation caused by what Amy guessed was a high level sacred art spell, she heavily breathed out the tension in her body.
“That was amazing! How did you…What kind of spell was that?!”
“Plagues, Amy! Your cloak!”
“No, no, no!” she called out in despair, but regained hope when Shadow pointed out this was an excellent occasion for her to use her special skill.
He warped them back to the stables and hid somewhere, waiting for her to come back with the cloak.
Amy turned invisible and entered the spurts of the ladder as quiet as possible.
She quickly scanned the loft for the stranger. Her vision became more blurry when using her special skill, which was one of the downsides of it.
She was in luck: there was no one around. The other must have left.
There it was!
She swiftly footed her way to the piece of clothing, grabbed it and turned around to leave.
In the blink of an eye Amy regained visibility when a hand cupped her mouth from behind.
Amy let out a muffled cry.
The free hand of the stranger pushed her arms behind her back and fumbled the cloth around them.
“Surprise!”
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gone-daddy-gone · 4 years
Note
18 with Shinsou please I beg of you
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Rating: 17+
Warnings: murder, yandere themes, gore, throw up
Word Count: 5,288
Tags: @the-grimm-writer <3
Prompt: “Cry for me baby.”
 The day had an odd air to it that soaked your senses from the second you opened your eyes. It felt colder than usual, even with his arms caging you in. It compelled you to push him off you, make breakfast and clean yourself off from whatever happened last night. You tried to forget the grisly details, glimpse of sweat and purple hair invading you peripherals. So you fought his grip, whispering about how much you loved him and will be back with his food. You're praise had earned you you’re temporary freedom. His large arm relieving you of its weight before settling behind you. A sigh of relief pushed itself out of your raged body before you pushed off the large bed with the palms of your hands. He grumbled at you, looking at you with those empty violet eyes; and for a quick second every punishment you ever received came rushing back to your hippocampus. Luckily, he let them flutter closed again. And another sigh was pushed out. 
 “You know what today is right?” He asked, waiting till you were almost free of that godforsaken room. 
 “Y-yes...our...our anniversary?” You tried to make it sound less like an answer and less like a question. You didn’t want your loyalty to be questioned after all. 
 “Mmm hmm. Why don’t you make me my favorite?” You nodded, shooting him the best half smile you could muster. You hated being docile for him, so much, but you hated when he was angry even more.
 The living room had changed some from when you first arrived into your captivity. Originally he had glass and other breakable things to be thrown during a tantrum. Now there was a single couch, adjacent was his rather large TV courtesy of his pro hero money. In the corner was his wall of toys as he liked to call them. A large range from things to shove into you to things to beat you with. Below his sadistic wall was his cage he would put you in when you were in aforementioned tantrums. He preferred to gag and bind you, placing you in that chair till you exhausted yourself out with all the kicking and screaming you would do, the tears would do little to energize you either. He just liked those. That was all he had in his living room, like his whole life revolved around you, which it did. If you stared at it too long, you might just break out into hysterics again, and as much as sobbing uncontrollably on the floor sounded pleasant; you opted to just finish your original task.
 Now the kitchen was a much livelier place than that so called “living room”. The kitchen was the only place he let you have free reign, he wouldn’t even grope you, or shove your head into the counter to force himself on you when you were in there. It was like those safe zones you used to have during four corners, back when you were a kid and your only worry was going home and being able to catch the reruns of pokemon. Oh, how the times have changed, now you were making food for the number five hero, praying he’d like it and won’t slap you around for not saying you loved him right. 
 The daylight was spilling in from the kitchen windows and illuminating the pale floor in a beautiful yellow and orange. Oh, the daylight. You missed that simple privilege of being able to be outside in the morning. Feeling the UV rays cook your skin in the most pleasant way. Walking towards the window, the only glimpse of outside you ever got. You reminisced on when you were first in captivity and tried for hours to break it, a horrible mistake on your part; as he had already thought about it and made sure to put some sort of plexiglass on it thus making it unbreakable. If you soaked in the sun and wallowed in your misery for too long you might just break down. Not that he would be upset, he liked watching you cry, to crumble like an old withered statue. Today might be one of those days, you were almost too suspiciously reminiscent. 
 Making breakfast was a good break from your surroundings that we’re going to send you into a full fledged panic attack. The eggs reminded you only of eggs, the bacon reminding you about that one video you watched in health class, the one about what they really do to those animals. For that small moment in time, you could pretend that you were a willing participant in your domestication. 
 Once you had plaited up a mountain of food for the lean hero, you allowed yourself some of the same meal; much smaller in comparison. Holding up both on your forearms, a ghost of your old life taking over your senses. 
 Suddenly you were back at the Sushi Bar and Ramen restaurant you worked at. Your hair up in a messy bun, four plates of food and two cups of water in each hand. The heat making fat globs of sweat run down your back, beading at your forehead. It all seemed so real, the low rise lanterns casting that oh so familiar orange hue over mahogany tables. 
 “(Y/N)?” In absolute horror, you turned your head to see your old manager. A middle aged man with ashy hair, golden eyes and a smell of designer cologne faintly in the air. 
 “What-what?” You began to shake. You weren’t so sure what was happening, but you were more than happy to hear a voice that wasn’t Shinsuo. 
 “Dear, why are you so shaken? Did that guy come by again?”
 “What- I….What guy?” 
 He made a face of confusion, shaking his head from side to side to signal his displeasure. “The one with purple hair...he’s a hero?” You felt yourself begin to hyperventilate, a sense of dread coming over you. 
 “I don’t...I was just…he...he” 
 “Baby? Commer why are you crying.” He began to walk towards you. 
 “NO! Don’t come near me…” You began to sob, setting the food down and backing up. 
 “Darlin...what did he do?” You just shook your head, frantic as ever. The mirage was too good to be true, too kind.
 “Listen, commer, ok? Let’s talk it out.” He moved towards with you, hands up to show he meant no harm. 
 “Please...please…” Your withered and beaten body caved under the pressure of your mental psyche, before you crumbled to the ground. 
 “What’s wrong? What did he do?” His shadow casted over you, words refused to come out of you as you hiccuped a sob. You flinched in horror, and he looked miserable to see you in pain. It was such a beautiful contrast to glee at seeing you in pain. You gave into the illusion and let your body slump itself into him. He cradled you like he used to during a particularly hard dinner rush. Rub soft circles into your back before rubbing the opposite direction into the same spot. You clawed at his arms, reveling in the feeling of his flesh in your nails.
 “What is happening? Common, you can talk to me.” 
 “He...he...I was…”
 “You were what?” His voice sounded like home, a place you missed so desperately. You took his hand and rubbed your face into the back of it, smelling the sweet smell of miso paste. Talking was going to ruin this moment, you just wanted to be held by him while you still could.
 “He killed me didn’t he.” Your heart and your breathing stopped all at once. If this was a fantasy your brain was cruelly displaying for you, why was your heart racing?
 “What...did you just say?” You wanted to make sure you heard him right. Yet you still lacked the courage to look him in the face as he said it. Maybe it was the guilt. Wait what guilt?
 “I said that he murdered me. And it’s all your fault.” Your heart was thundering, and your ears were ringing as you brought your head up slowly to look at him. Your breath was shaky when you looked to see Shinsuo staring back at you this time.
 “I killed him Kitten...all for you...now come here be good…”
 “NO! I won’t!” With all your strength and what little sanity you had left you pushed away from him. Kicking your feet desperately until you were almost to the couch.
 “No what?” The intrusion surprised you enough for you to avert your eyes to the offender. The only other person in the house, Shinsuo.
 “But...but you were…” You looked feverishly from him to the spot your episode had taken place at, only for there to be an empty spot where there was once a body.
 “Are you feelin alright kitten”
 Not wanting to have him stay home and “nurse you back to health” you sputtered out a yes I am fine before you clambered up to your feet, still a bit shakin. He must have taken notice.
 “Your face is all red and puffy...and you’re shaking like a leaf. Were you crying?” You felt a twinge of disgust as you could practically hear the grin in the way he spoke about it.
 “No! I...I just cut myself on a knife and its cold in here…” Those were very obvious lies, not well thought out lies on your part. Which is something he hated when you do. Lie to him. He owned you heart, mind, body and soul. He had made that abundantly clear taking over your mind by force plenty of times. You could feel what was coming next, the complete shut down of your brain by force. Making you prisoner in your own body, mindless to your own actions. The sunken place like Get Out. You could hear him about to form words to take you over, his mouth was already forming them when, by the grace of god you heard his familiar ringtone. Saved by the bell.
 “Do not move.”
 You didn’t respond, not even in your head, only doing what you were asked. While he was steadily raising his voice in the other room, your mind was going wild. Did he kill him? Why would he do that? You had worked there so long ago after all, he wouldn’t be a threat. But...just how long ago had it been? You gave up counting the days. Shinso never let you near his phone, as if he didn’t have a million and one passcodes on that thing if you ever did get your hands on it. On top of all of that, you had no cable either. No new outlet to let you know what was going on in the outside world. No recent TV shows to watch, no movies to update you on pop culture. All that put together made it quite literally impossible for you to know about his possible untimely death. The episode was obviously meant to feel real, anyone who had the trauma you did would want to create that escape, if only for a minute. But what kind of deranged masochistic person invisions someone saying something like...that. Maybe you were over analyzing it...what reason would he even have for killing him. Like a reason mattered to him, he was one of those “the end justifies the means” type of hero’s, a red flag the public liked to think of as a light blue.
 Almost if on cue, Shinso emerged from the dungeon that was your shared bedroom. You gulped and couldn’t fight the instinctual flinch at his seething that seemed to sour the already grim room. He looked at you before he clenched his jaw and shook his head. 
 “You are lucky, I have to work.” Your fingers dug their way into your palms, scrapping over the scabs, the intensity increasing as he went on, getting ready for his day.
 “You do not lie to me, you know that.” The aforementioned scab had finally broken its very fragile seal, and you felt the blood flow out in time with the tears in your eyes. Crescendoing with that sickeningly familiar sense of dread rising in the very core of your chest. 
 “Get over here, now.” You released your palms from your self inflicted torutre. Almost running over to him, willing to do anything in that moment to appease him. 
 He just gave you a long look, those violet eyes holding nothing in them against his snow white skin. He breathed out his nose slowly, to anyone that would have seemed like he was trying to take as much oxygen into his system as he could. Not to you, the trained eye. That was his signal that he wanted you to know he was trying his hardest not to beat you.
 “You better do dinner right, and after we are done, you’re going to tell me what was going on.” After he was done ordering you around, with a dash of a threat. He forced you into a kiss, capturing your elbows in between both of his pointer fingers and thumbs. You kissed back, hoping your desperation would be mistaken for genuine love.
 He slammed the door and you stood there. Stood there breathing in the silence. What was I supposed to say? I don’t even know what I had experienced you thought to yourself. You moved in slow motion to the couch, setting yourself onto the couch. One day, all you wanted was one day where you didn’t get “punished”, for anything. You let your body fall back onto the couch, a heaviness that wasn’t quiet sleep taking over you. Your nose was so stuffed up with snot you could barely make out the smell of eggs still...that smell of eggs.
 “Hey! (Y/N), crack this egg and put in the bowl why don’t cha?” You opened your eyes and you were...back in that restaurant…in the kitchen to be exact.
 “W-what?” 
 The young cook, who for the life of you you can’t seem to remember the name of; rolled his eyes and sighed.
 “Common toots, I know you aren’t just a pretty face, crack these for the customer while I go flip this meat before it burns.”
 You took the egg out of the rude cook's hands, giving him the stink eye. If I was going to hallucinate, why can’t it be people who aren’t snarky. With reluctance, you tapped the fragile shell on the counter before you pulled them apart and watched the egg splash into the broth. You smiled at that familiar sight, enjoying the ripple and all.
 “Ya see, that was juuuust perfect.” You watched as he looked up from his meat that he was now cutting into pieces.
 “We need it to be perfect...with that customer out there. Thank god he’s in your section.”
 This conversation seemed so familiar, like it barely felt like you needed to think about what you were to say next.
 “Who?”
He slams the knife down making you jump, the fight or flight mode you’re always in is still active even in your dreams. 
 “Who? WHO!?” He looks around like someone was going to hear your conversation, or care for that matter. “What do you mean who? You live under a rock or somethin’?” 
 “No I-” 
 “EH, I don’t care when you see the customer, you’re going to act like you know him alright?” With no other real choice than to agree you shake your head yes, face contouring into an uncomfortable one.
 “Take these and get out of here...can’t you see it’s crowded in here?” You slowly pick up the bowl he had so delicately placed the meat in, and you so carelessly plopped the egg in. Looking around, he was wrong. It was the exact opposite, there was no one but you two in the kitchen. A rarity in any restaurant. 
 “No...actually I can’t…” 
You stared at you, expressionless before he busted out laughing, he kept laughing as he threw his head back and cradled his stomach. He kept going for an inhuman amount of time before he took his knife and slammed it into the cutting board, exhaling the air in his lungs with a sigh eyes upward.
 “You know...I get it now.” 
 You shivered, feeling scared for some unknown reason.
 “You get what?”
 He smiled, eyes skyward still. “Why he loves you.”
 “Who?” 
 He cast his eyes downwards, not tilting his head just letting his eyes come down to see you. 
 “You’re a funny thing, you know that.” You didn’t say anything, slowly trying to walk out the door into the main floor. “You killed me…” He let those out with a smile, before walking to you.
 “You killed me...and the worst part is we all get why he loves you...but I just…” He was right to your nose, you could smell whiskey and mint on his breath. “I don’t think I can forgive you.” 
 “I-”
 “Wake up.” He shoved you, and you quite literally were pushed back into your body. Rising up from the couch, gasping and clawing at your throat for air. You were panicking, trying to grip onto the cushions frantically looking around trying to ground yourself. After a while you finally got a grip on yourself. Why was this even happening? What did you even do to deserve this? You rubbed your forehead and pushed yourself off of the couch; approaching the kitchen to relieve your dry throat. You took a small glance at and noted that it was now lunch time, and you had been knocked out for at least four hours. Shinso would be calling any minute now. Turning on your heel and retrieving a glass you watched the bubbles of the water form at the top of the glass. You started off with a small swig before chugging the rest down. Your hand seemed to act on its own, as you absentmindedly wiped the sweat off your face. You filled the cup up more before you went to the bookshelf full of Shinso approved books, trying to find one you had yet to read. Then you heard the phone that only received calls ring out, beckoning you into retrieving it. With a sigh you sauntered over and pulled it up to your ear. 
 “Hello Kitten, how are you?”
 “Oh I’m...just trying to pick out a book.”
 He hummed happily before responding. “That’s my girl, always trying to better herself. Did you see the new one I got you.”
 Your ears perked up at those buzz words. “New one?” You couldn’t hold back the smile that pushed its way onto your face.
 He giggled. “Yes Kitten, happy anniversary. I love you.” Your smile faltered at his words, loving someone and being utterly obsessed with someone was two totally different things.
 “Happy anniversary, I love you too.” 
 “Alright Kitten, I’ll see you when I come home for dinner tonight.” 
 “Ok.” You hung up the phone, setting it down and letting your face fall. You turned to the bookshelf, scanning over all the books before you landed on the new one. You smiled, letting out a shaky laugh. He could be sweet, when he wasn’t being manic. It was a book from before you were in containment, so you couldn’t get a grasp on reality. You turned it over and went over the reviews before flipping it over and looking at the cover again, only to discover it was a different book. One you read. Oh no.
 You shot up and suddenly you were in your bedroom again. Sitting criss cross applesauce from your sister. 
 “This book should take your mind off of...you know. Picked it up just for you sis!” She beamed at you, and your heart ached. You just stared at her and all her beautiful glory, it had been so long since you'd seen her, or even heard her voice. The only reason you realized you were crying was your sister looking at you in shock, mixing with horror. 
 “Hey, hey now it’s ok! You’re safe here...you’re safe here.” She wrapped her arms around your torso and pulled your sobbing form. 
 “Sissy...what’s happening to me?” She furrowed her brows and kissed your forehead, petting your head.
 “Nothing baby...just...some boy with too much power had taken a liking to you…” She didn’t know what to say to you to keep calm, to make you feel safe. It was like she was insinuating without insinuating, that she knew where this was going. 
 “He’s a monster…”
 “Oh baby.” She kept stroking your hair, letting you vent all your emotions out.
 “It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not faaair!” You screamed into her shoulder. 
 “Remember what momma always told us.” She knew what she was doing as soon as you turned your sobbing into some suppressed laughing. 
 “I hate you.” You smiled, wiping your tears and globs of snot off of your face. 
  “Now that’s just blatantly not true!” She said with a laugh, turning around to grab her wine glass. She took a large swig before looking down at you, meeting your expectant eyes staring back at her. 
 “You know what happens now right?” 
 “Yeah…” You said sadly, a part of you is happy that it wasn’t a sad twisted goodbye this time. Maybe your brain just couldn’t bring itself to turn her into a nightmare. 
 “You need to make dinner afterall…” You nodded and closed your eyes, the last thing you felt was her lips on your forehead. Before you opened your eyes.
 You stood back up and walked into the kitchen, four thirty. You laughed, she was right for once. It was about time you made dinner. Shinso’s favorite, ramen. You turned the water on to boil in a few different pots for different reasons. Going into the fridge to retrieve the noodles, the vegetables and your special ingredient in your broth. You got to work chopping, seasoning the broth, and cooking the meat. The kitchen smelt so lovely, you were proud of your forced skill you developed. You were weary at every turn waiting for another hallucination to take over your senses. Weary as you dropped the eggs into the ice bath, weary as you grilled your vegetables, weariest as you dropped the noodles into the broth. Something about them seemed untrustworthy to you. You looked back out the window to be greeted with the sun going down, a deep shade of maroon with just a twinge of yellow outside. It was a calm end to the stormy day. You plaited up the food, throwing the tea kettle on the stove so Shinso could have his favorite tea with his favorite meal. You looked over the bowls one last time, realizing that you forgot to put the egg in. You giggled at yourself, how could you forget the best part? For the second time today (at least in your head) you cracked the egg on the counter and watched it fall into ramen. You smiled at your masterpiece.
 “Hey that's pretty good!” You groaned before you turned, and this time it was your best friend who also worked at the restaurant. 
 “Hey, don’t be dick , I'm being nice to you!” She chuckled out before taking the bowl in front of you. 
 “I wish you wouldn’t…” You mumbled, watching as she took an ungodly amount of dishes into her arms. 
 “You just gonna check me out or are you gonna help?” You rolled your eyes and took the rest of the plates. 
 “Listen pop your tits out I need to pay rent.”
 “Girl!...I am not doing that” 
 “First off, don’t pretend I haven’t seen you do worse.” You glared at her before you mocked her behind her back.
 “I can see what you're doing.” She taunted before turning her head only a little bit so she could see you out of the corner of her eye. You just rolled your eyes at her, watching as she set her table's plates down, encouraging you to take the foot out of your mouth and do the same. You snapped out of your stupor and did just that. She said something about you being new and absentminded before gripping your elbow and tugging you in the direction of the kitchen. 
 “What is your problem?...Is it...you know?” You sighed, why did no one ever say his name?
 “You mean Hitoshi?” Almost exasperated. 
 “You’re on a first name basis with your stalker?” She said inquisitively. 
 “Oh you don’t know half of it.” You retorted back.
 “Oh...don’t like the sound of that. Here, I made you something that will make you feel better!” She exclaimed out loud. You really doubted it. And you gave her that look that meant, you doubted it. 
 “Don’t look at me like that. Common, I have just the thing.” You reluctantly followed after her, hoping this would be just like the time before. You couldn’t say you were entirely disappointed when you two stopped at a ramen bowl, it looked like your favorite. 
 “Come on go ahead, I made this one myself.” She said so giddily that you couldn’t help but smile back and obliged her. Letting the large spoon take in the broth, sipping it and letting the warm liquid slither down your throat. It felt good, tasted even better. You smiled and looked at her confused, as she sucked at cooking. 
 “What do you think?” She urged you to give your review. 
 “It’s amazing, what did you do to it?”
 “You have to guess!” You took another sip, twirling the chop sticks in your fingers to catch some noodles to assist the broth.
 “I don’t know...extra ginger?” You asked, genuinely at a loss. 
 “No! Do you see any ginger? You dense chicken wing.” You looked at her with offence, shaking your head as you shoveled more in your mouth. 
 “No I suppose I don’t” You scratched your head before taking some of the meat into your mouth.
 “Is this wagyu?”
 “Yes but that’s not it!” You shrugged your shoulders, signaling your defeat.
 “Give up?” She asked eerily quietly. You nodded your head, still absentmindedly digging into your meal. 
 “The secret ingredient is me.” She said it sounded like a smirk was on her face. Her ominous words caused you to stop mid bite. With shaky hands, you looked from the bowl then back at her, your breath caught in your throat as you realized you weren’t looking at anything. Her neck was clean off of her neck. You began to breathe heavily through your nose, looking to the ground to find her head before you heard.
 “Psst, over here.” Coming from the direction of the ramen in front of you. You tried swallowing the food but realized you couldn’t. You turned slowly, gagging before you made eye contact with her lifeless head in the soup. You began to cough, spitting up something that had to be cartilage, something was still in your mouth, so you reached inside, retrieving a long strand of hair from your mouth. That was the final push you needed as you threw up all over the floor, chunks of your best friend getting all over your shoes. 
 “Do you see now?” You looked up, hiccuping in horror at the severed head speaking to you now. “He killed all of us. In this very shop, right in front of you.” You shook your head, trying to deny it, for your own sanity. “Just look.” Her freaky bulging eyes moved over to the left, and you followed accordingly. You had to cover your mouth to stop yourself from throwing up again. Every person who worked there was dead on the ground, their body parts strewn around like they were those dolls whose limbs popped off. Perhaps, in the most horrible of displays was your manager's body, stomach open, arms sprawled backwards and organs on the outside. The worst part was that his lungs were moving. 
 “Do you see now? You sleep and kiss the monster who did this to us all those years ago...it’s your fault...its all your fault.”
 “No..”
 “It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault!” “NO! I-I didn’t do this…”
 “IT’S YOUR FAULT IT'S YOUR FAULT IT’S YOUR FAULT!” 
 “NO!” You were screaming now, covering your eyes and crying. 
 You kept screaming till the only other sound's the tea kettle screaming back at you to ift it off of the burner. You were still crying, standing shakily as you removed it rather violently from the burner. You look at the time, Shinso would be here any minute now, so you cleaned yourself up and put both his tea and ramen down in his spot. Putting your food in yours and sitting down, face stone cold as you stared at the door, waiting for him to come in. 
 It was a few minutes before he came bustling in, exclaiming about how hard his day was. Right. You said in your head, watching as he took his coat off. He walked over to you and gave you a kiss on your forehead.
 “Guess who I saw today.” You didn’t answer him, only looking at him waiting for him to tell you the answer you didn't ask for. 
 “Chargebolt! Can you believe that? Haven’t seen that kid in-” You tuned him out, the sounds of your best friends screams and blaming you were all you could hear. The stench of death still burns your nostrils too.
 “Anyhow Kitten, how was your day?” You looked at him, cocking your head. 
 “How was my day?” You repeated the question. You thought about it, before you licked your lips and looked him in those cold eyes.
 “Fine.” You said, poking at your food like a toddler. 
  He just hummed in response. Then talking incessantly about this villain he had a hard time dealing with. Somewhere between needing to call backup and him getting punched in the face, you tuned out again. Thinking about how much you wished that could have been you that did that to him. You snapped out of your thinking when he spoke to you directly again. 
 “What’s wrong? Is it your finger.” You looked back at him, not caring to play this game anymore.
 “You killed them, didn’t you?
 He made a face that said “whatever do you mean kitten?”, it made you mad. “Who? The villain?” He had the audacity to act dumb.
 “My friends...all of them...you killed them...in front of me.” 
 He cocked his head, before smiling. “I don’t know what you mean Kitten.”
 “Don’t lie to me!...Don’t you dare lie to me...I remember it...I remember it all.” You began to sob and shake, staring at him expectantly and angrily before watching him rise to his feet. He tilted his head back before he laughed, long and hard, making you angrier. 
 “Oh Kitten, of course I did…” You cringed and sobbed harder, tears mixing into the broth below you. 
 “That’s right, cry for me baby, you know I love it when you do.” You let out a wail before your fingers found their way into your hair again, ripping out the strands. 
 “I brainwashed you to forget, for a year, every year. Just so I get to see the anger and horror on your face like it’s brand new. You don’t remember any of it all year, until I ask you the phrase “Do you know what day it is?” He said smiling, that cold sadistic smile down at you before he leaned into your face.
 “Think about it this way Kitten, I save you from all that pain for a whole year. Aren’t I so thoughtful?” He said with a sinister cackle, and all you could do was sit there and cry.
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The Alters: Chapter 2
The Alters is an original romance story I’ve been writing for the past few months. Please enjoy Chapter 2!
Sparks Fly
CW: Lots of swearing, and discussions of war.
It had been a few days since Dinn and Creed resolved to spend their time in this small part of the Infinity. As desperate as The Being had been for their work to be done quickly, it seemed it was taking much longer than they’d hoped. They’d spent most of the first day just waiting by the portal to see if anyone would show up. It was as if they couldn’t move, or breathe, and barely think. They were just anchored to their spots. And yet, nothing happened. The two ended up crashing on the couch for the first night, but after waking up with stiff necks and sore muscles, it was obvious they needed to start creating a home for themselves.
The Infinity was akin to being trapped in a windowless doorless room. Despite its size the place was barren of any life. No sounds emanated from the void. Creed, having become accustomed to the sound of the birds waking him up in the morning, and Dinn, already used to the constant sirens that plagued the city streets at all times of the day, were deeply unsettled by this discovery. Walking through the white nothingness was almost mesmerizing. They’d become so entranced with the way in front of them that when they’d catch a glimpse of the other in their peripheral vision it would only make them jump.
Dinn had decided to start setting up structures he knew they needed all at once. Not only beds, or toilets, or fridges, but creating bedrooms, restrooms, and a kitchen. Creed worked a bit more slowly. He created singular objects as they came to him. Being guided by Dinn’s walls and partitions that separated the rooms he would tuck in objects wherever there was space. From important objects such as stoves, and showers, to small amenities like potted plants, and books.
Creed seemed insistent on getting rid of the complete lack of smell that surrounded them. Yet, the plants, the candles, even the trash they would accrue would never have an odor. Dinn couldn’t understand where this obsession came from, but Creed seemed adamant in adding what seemed almost impossible.
Despite this, after a few days the two men found themselves occupying a somewhat livable though barren space. They had both important furniture that allowed them to feel somewhat normal, as well as some decorations that gave them comfort. And though they felt anything but normal, they were content to know they could just relax for a while until someone else showed up.
However, in spite of all of their progress Dinn was becoming rather irritated with Creed. Creed had not spoken a single word to him since that first day, and he would barely look at him. Dinn knew that his presence wasn’t something Creed was expecting, nor was it something he expected Creed to immediately enjoy; but now that they’re stuck in a world with no life and no sound, the silence from the only other living creature was not only deafening, it was maddening. How could Dinn possibly make up for past grievances if Creed wasn’t even willing to talk to him? Was he just supposed to talk to a wall and expect it to understand?
This wasn’t how he expected his time in the Infinity to start, and it was exceedingly frustrating.
Dinn caught sight of Creed once again heading out into the exposed area of the Infinity. The area they had claimed as their temporary home was only a fraction of what this piece of the Infinity had to offer. Just outside one of the back doors laid the huge expanse of white that enveloped the area. Creed was currently standing just outside their home, seemingly enjoying the view of the few blank trees that he’d set up there. He’d really rather look at bland white forms of trees than Dinn? He’d rather spend time with barren objects than Dinn?
Dinn’s frustration was slowly becoming anger, and without a steadying thought, he too stepped out into the expanse and walked right up behind Creed.
“Enjoying the view?”
Creed jumped in his spot turning around quickly to meet Dinn’s gaze. He clearly wasn’t expecting Dinn to leave the makeshift home, let alone break the tense silence that enveloped the Infinity. With a steadying breath Creed’s look of shock settled back to a neutral look and he turned back away to his beloved trees.
“Really?”
Dinn gaped, taking a few large steps around Creed to stand in front of him. Did he really just turn his back on him without uttering a single word?
“That’s all you’ve got to say? Nothing?”
Dinn challenged. Creed’s face was a mix of shock and confusion, as if it wasn’t obvious that he’d been avoiding Dinn for the past few days despite everything that happened. Or rather, had he not expected him to say anything about it? Dinn had been quiet and reserved when he was in Creed’s home because the place was unfamiliar to him, but this wasn’t Creed or Dinn’s home. This was a place neither of them knew and so they were once again on the same playing field.
Creed gaped for a moment, but once again shut his mouth and retained his neutral look. This only angered Dinn further.
“Are we going to talk or not?!”
He shouted, his voice echoing in the barren wasteland.
“Oh, so now you want to talk?”
It had been the first words Creed had spoken in a while, and they were laced with venom beyond his years.
“What changed?”
Despite his chiding remarks Creed’s face still held the same neutral look. Dinn didn’t like this. He didn’t like how Creed was able to remain so calm, it made him feel like the crazy one. The ex who couldn’t handle the thought of the other moving on. But that wasn’t him, that wasn’t them.
“Quit acting like a child Creed! If we ever wanted to fix anything we have to talk to each other! Both of us, not just one!”
Dinn spat back. Creed chuckled, his face utterly bemused.
“Excuse me? I’m a child? And what exactly do you mean by we?”
Dinn couldn’t stand the laughing. What was so funny about their situation?
“How is the silent treatment not childish?!”
He shouted.
“And yes WE! I don’t see anyone else trying to fix a relationship in this Hell hole!”
At that remark Creed’s chuckles became full on laughter. He was now almost doubled over holding his sides as he roared with laughter.
“Who said I wanted to fix this relationship?”
This made Dinn pause.
“What are you saying?”
“Dinn, you’re the one who showed up at my doorstep. You’re the one who came back into my life asking to talk, and ever since then you’re the one who’s said nothing. I was content living my life alone for the longest time. I didn’t go searching for you. I didn’t ask about you. I didn’t even want to know about you. What makes you think me allowing you into my home to explain yourself was me wanting to fix a relationship that ended five years ago?! If anything, Dinn, you’re the one giving me the silent treatment.”
Creed said all this while still lightly chuckling to himself.
Dinn will admit, he had taken Creed letting him into his home as a sign that he too wanted to repair their damaged relationship. That maybe he too had been feeling that old familiar pull towards each other, but just didn’t have the courage to seek Dinn out. He’d assumed that Creed was just as willing to talk things out and let bygones be bygones.
And yet, here he stood, laughing at Dinn, mocking him with the idea that reconciliation was on the table for both of them. Was Creed expecting Dinn to grovel and beg for forgiveness? For what? Being a human that makes mistakes? He couldn’t possibly understand what Dinn’s life had been for the past five years! How dare he assume otherwise!
Dinn could feel a sudden buzzing in his ears, rising to his scalp.
“So what, letting me into your home was all in an effort to placate me?!”
Creed straightened a bit, his laughter falling away, and his tone becoming a bit more serious. He was careful to notice the way Dinn bristled with his words.
“No Dinn, I have no reason to placate you. I have no reason to string you along. You came to me, telling me that you wanted to talk about what happened all those years ago, and yet I’ve been met with nothing but silence. In a way, it almost feels like you’re the one keeping me around.”
Now it was Dinn’s turn to laugh. With a loud chuckle he threw his hands into the air completely frustrated at what he’s hearing. That odd feeling now growing.
“So, what you’re saying is, you felt like you had no part in what happened all those years ago?”
Creed’s serious look morphed from shock to an irritated confusion.
“Excuse me?”
“You only expected me to talk? So what, you consider yourself some innocent victim who played no part in the destruction of our relationship?”
Dinn was getting heated. He could feel his body slowly pulsing with energy.
“Well, for a lack of a better word, fuck yes! I’m sorry, but I’m not the one who walked out on the other for no fucking reason!”
Creed spat, now he was angry too, just as Dinn wanted. Two fools fighting in a world where no one could see or hear them. And arguing is where Dinn’s anger thrived.
“Oh, so now you’re going to use the abandonment excuse again?!”
Creed looked utterly bewildered at Dinn’s words.
“Excuse?! It’s what you did! You abandoned me! You did so several times, and for some fucking reason I was always dumb enough to let you back in!”
“I can’t believe this.”
Dinn said suddenly exasperated, the beginnings of small sparks forming on his fingertips.
“Did you think I was talking about you when I mentioned those ‘innocent lives’ we would be protecting by staying in this shithole?”
Dinn was almost chuckling to himself now. The thought that someone who participated in a war to end all wars was somehow just another innocent was laughable to him. The sheer audacity! If Creed believed this, he certainly must be delusional. Creed shook his head.
“Of course I don’t, but we��re not talking about the war or this place. We’re talking about the bullshit that went down between us.”
Creed said reverting back to a frustrated calm. The way he could turn off his anger so easily irritated Dinn to no end. How could he have such a command over his emotions at a time like this?
“Well then, if we’re going to talk about abandonment then maybe we can talk about how you abandoned the other surviving soldiers! How come they haven’t heard from you in years!”
Dinn shot back. Truthfully, he hadn’t talked to the other survivors very much in the past few years, but he somehow had a small inkling that neither had Creed. Creed stiffened.
“I did as much as I could for my fellow soldiers. During and after the war! I’m sorry that I couldn’t be like the others! That I couldn’t be some morale booster during the tough times or some excitable child during the good times!”
And there was the anger bubbling up again. At the mention of the other survivors Creed’s attitude became dark. There was something else behind that angry shaking voice, but Dinn couldn’t pinpoint it, and at the moment he didn’t care. As the sparks danced upon his skin, Dinn responded.
“Oh, so you were just another piece of furniture who couldn’t get your head out of your own bullshit to corral other survivors?! Well then, maybe you were the one who deserved to die!”
The silence that fell was a weight almost too heavy to handle. It was almost like Dinn’s words were still echoing into the void, repeating again and again infinitely. Creed’s face had broke, but Dinn couldn’t tell his expression. His mouth gaped like a fish and his eyes darted back and forth, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, after a while he turned deftly on his heel and walked back into their makeshift home.
Dinn was left standing in the open, still on the brink of letting the force of his magic crumble the world around him. He swung his arms back and forth as if he was trying to hit something. The sparks that danced upon his skin ignited, sending small shockwaves out into the ether.
He was lost, could only see what was just in front of him. Because of that he didn’t see where they had gone wrong, where Dinn’s many failures created this hatred, this dismissal of him from Creed’s life. Likewise, he didn’t understand what was going through Creed’s mind. They’d been apart for a lot longer than he originally thought, and he couldn’t fathom why he was here now.
But as Dinn sat down to ponder his life choices, he began to hear his words echoed back to him. Words that he realized were said from malice and shame. Words that were directly targeted to break an individual, not to hash out any issues. And as he sat there, his internal temperature cooling and allowing him to realize the severity of his actions, he began to panic.
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His heels echoed through the quiet halls of white. Cautiously he made his way through the winding tunnels, not sure where he’d end up. Every wall was the same, every step sounded just like the last. He’d never seen a place so barren of personality or love. How could this possibly be the place he was directed to by some higher power? He couldn’t believe it.
Just as he was about to turn back, he heard it. A faint whimpering somewhere in the distance. Somewhere through these white walls there was someone else and they sounded distressed. Gradually he picked up the pace, listening closely to the soft cries he heard and creeping around each corner. He swore he was getting closer as the cries grew steadily. At one point he felt like he was walking in circles. The cries neither faded nor intensified despite his constant movement.
He started to realize that he was indeed circling a room, he just didn’t know where the door was. Gingerly he ran his hands over the plain white walls all around him. It felt like an eternity before he felt a wall give to his gentle prodding.
Easing the wall open he found a small room, just as plain as the last dozen, but not exactly empty. The walls were decorated with picture frames with no pictures and lined with blank plants that grew tall. Small tables were scattered carelessly about with candles, vases, lamps, and plants placed carefully on each one. And in the center of the room was a couch where the crying individual currently sat. Holding his pale hands over his red face and still crying softly into his palms. He was turned away from the door and his long multicolored hair covered him up like a curtain of shame.
He stepped into the room cautiously, eyeing this poor pitiful figure.
“I don’t understand.”
He paused at the voice that came from the figure. It was so quiet, lost in its own sorrow.
“Why did you come back? Why didn’t you just stay the fuck away from me like you always did?”
He could tell the figure was angry, but it was a deep wet anger that was overshadowed by an unrelenting sadness. A sorrow that must’ve come from years of neglect that he was never able to face. Surely.
He stepped a bit closer and that’s when he finally noticed.
The man sitting before him sobbing quietly into his hands, all but losing control of his emotions, was Creed. Those small antlers, or horns, he never was really sure, were indistinguishable from the ones he once knew. Those markings etched across his face. There was no doubt that this was Creed, but what made it so off-putting was that he reminded him so much of his Creed. His Creed who he spent so long next to, devoted to. The person he loved to no end. Was he really sitting in front of him right now? How could it be?
“Did you comeback to redirect your anger at me? Do I deserve that?! Am I just a being for your vitriol?!”
Those words, the way he just spat them out with such anger. Who had hurt him to the point of such an unyielding misery? Who dared hurt his Creed?!
“Answer me dammit--!”
Creed’s head finally whipped around with such a force that swung most of his hair to his far shoulder. His face was stained with tears, his eye puffy and red, but his look was angry. But at finally turning to the person who stood before him, his look morphed to a sudden shock that racked his whole body. The candles that adorned them all sprung to life with purple flame. Creed stumbled to his feet backing away from the tall figure, knocking over one of the lamps on the side table just to his right. It crashed to the floor with such a loud sound, but it succeeded in holding no one’s attention. Instead, the two men stared back at each other.
“Who are you?”
Creed said, his gaze a mixture of fear and surprise. The other man could only stare back with a somber expression. All he saw was a man who had spent the last few moments crying over some bastard who sought to hurt him. He couldn’t stand to see his Creed unhappy, and this was almost too much for his heart to handle.
He resolved that he would be the one to make Creed happy again.
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Dinn still sat in the open expanse of the Infinity, steadily picking at blank white blades of grass as they grew to his will. It hadn’t sunk in what had just happened, what he’d just done. Probably because when his anger takes over, it’s almost like he blacks out. He struggles to remember what he said let alone that he ever said anything at all. This was a huge problem for him back when he was a soldier. He’d only been a somewhat higher rank than some of the other soldiers, so he always had to be careful about how angry he got around his superiors. Let alone his underlings that weren’t willing to put up with his bullshit on a personal level.
Perhaps now it would be just a tad bit easier to remember what he’d said, considering the only other person in this dimension at the moment was Creed. He knew the grievances he had with his ex, so he could hazard a guess what the conversation was about. That awful silent treatment.
However, now that he sat there, alone with his thoughts, he started to realize something. Creed hadn’t been speaking to him at all for the past few days, but Dinn hadn’t been talking to him either. When faced with what he believed was a complete dismissal he chose to fester in his anger for days. The moment he finally chose to break that silence, he came in like a raging storm. His words had to be harsh. He could hear himself yelling, screaming even, but he just couldn’t make out the words.
He needed to remember those words. Or at least a few.
There was something that he said that set Creed off. Something he said that was the final straw that made Creed turn away from him in that last moment. But what was it?
Creed wasn’t one to let his emotions control him, he was a calm individual.
Level-headed as far as he could remember. So, what had he done that broke that barrier?
Straining himself to remember even a modicum of the conversation, he recalled a few small snippets.
You’re a child!
Or something along those lines. How ironic, considering Dinn was the one who sulked around his ex’s house trying to gain his pity. Is that really how low he’d sunk? It had taken him so long to conclude that he wanted to see Creed again; that he wanted to know Creed again. And yet, the moment he got there he just froze up. Didn’t Creed deserve something, at the very least?
You’re not innocent!
What the fuck was this about? Innocent? Which soldier on either side could honestly say they are innocent and not immediately be struck down by some holy judgement for lying straight through their teeth? Innocent of what exactly? Dinn wasn’t an innocent man, and neither was Creed! At least, when it came to the war.
What else is there? What else could he possibly be innocent of? Dinn couldn’t conjure any answers for that argument. As far as he was aware that part of the conversation was unimportant.
You deserve to die!
Well, yes that is an awful thing to say, but it wasn’t something that would break Creed. Creed had asked the question himself, what if they do deserve to die? Not just him and Dinn, but everyone in the broken altered worlds. Why lose sleep over things that were not meant to exist?
But, as much as Dinn racked his brain, he couldn’t recall any other words he said. So those must’ve been the last words he said to Creed before he turned away once again. Before he left Dinn to his own devices in the open expanse of the Infinity. That wasn’t nearly enough of a blow, and Creed certainly wasn’t that sensitive! Was he?
No, he must be remembering wrong.
You deserve to die!
What was that he said? How badly did he hurt Creed?
You deserve to die!
The listless Creed who had honestly considered death the moment he was told to save the world would not hate Dinn for suggesting the same. He was sure of it!
You were the one who deserved to die!
Dinn nearly doubled over, his mouth filling with bile as he finally recognized the words he said as they rushed back to him. A sudden storm cloud forming all around him had shocked his senses back to life. He couldn’t, he couldn’t possibly have said that to Creed. His Creed! How dare he use that memory!
The memory of Donyun.
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ill-will-editions · 4 years
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QUARANTINE LETTER #2
A second letter in our quarantine series, penned in response to “Destitution, interrupted.”    
****
INTERRUPTION, SUSPENDED
Dear friends,
I thank you for your reflections on the ongoing pandemic. To respond to your question: Did anything really change? What is the nature of this suspension introduced by the COVID-19? Today is January 93rd, Year 0. The weather reminds me of Spring, there are bees and butterflies, birds, people are outside wandering on the sides of streets, construction workers are still hard at work fixing roads, building new condos, though now more than ever it is unclear who will afford to live in them, and whether they won’t just sit empty for the next 2 to 3 years. Despite the circumstances at hand it is not uncommon to glimpse the sense of relief in the expressions of many of the youth running through the neighborhood with their friends laughing, talking, freed from the burdens of school. How now more than ever such displays of levity seem banished from the world for good. By nightfall the sense of living in total darkness will again prevail, surely, just as before.
Even if in all the political scenarios we’d imagined for ourselves going into 2020 – the elections, the possibility of a wave of revolt beginning to sweep across North America once again, the certainty that some kind of disaster would surely happen, even if we’d never once considered the possibility of a pandemic, we can’t say that we were completely unprepared for something like this to happen. Or, we’re completely unprepared for the situation, but our reflexes have proved adaptable. Some of our friends have gone full prepper – inevitable, really. It’s similar to the surprise we felt after Trump got elected. Our lesson is the same – we continue to find ourselves in situations that are not of our choosing or liking. We are called to respond, which does not mean reacting. This does not mean that we shouldn’t prepare, but that we must bear in mind that, “a force can, through acting, increase another that is acting in the opposite direction” (Benjamin); in other words, we cannot count on the outputs of invariant procedures anymore, including our own. We have to be water.
From my perspective, the virus makes clear two political limits we have continually run into, which some of us wrote about in 2019: firstly, that the democratic party will try to co-opt any popular revolutionary movement (AOC and all manner of politicians endorsing rent suspensions, or UBI etc.); and secondly, that our political ambitions will become essentially no different than providing for people’s basic needs in the face of a situation in which hundreds of thousands of people in this country are going to be left to die at the hands of failing state institutions. In this way, I don’t know that the virus frees us from any traps we were in before.
“Successful revolts do not only undermine existing powers, they also allow their participants a capacity to participate more fully in the world”, you wrote in “Destitution, Interrupted.” I’m wondering what implications this has for the virus. To me it seems like an attempt to set up an analogy between the effects of the contagion of revolt and those of the contagion of the virus. So when you say we are living in a ‘half-destitution’ I wonder if this formulation is the result of an inconsistency between 2 different conceptions of ‘destitution’ : 1. destitution as a natural tendency inherent within constituted powers (and in this sense comparable to crisis tendencies in capital) and 2. a destituent power as the form class war takes when it takes aim at an entire civilization. The latter implies a renewed capacity to act, while this is not the case in the former. There’s been so many takes about the virus – is it humans, or is it capitalism, etc. If neither of these alternatives seem to me satisfactory, this is because the virus shows that neither humans nor capitalism are truly sovereign in this situation. The virus has constructed its own temporality, which immobilizes everything. As our friend the biologist said, only the virus was capable of extending beyond what the insurrections proved incapable of doing, and actually shutting down the economy. 
Our age is significant because the conditions that make life on earth possible are being called into question. That our species evolved within a certain temperature range is significant. That we have reduced the world to a single desert has made us susceptible to the predation of a monstrous entanglement, and that is significant. Confronted with the disaster unfolding both at a planetary scale (the climate catastrophe) and at micro-biological level (the invisible itself), everything we leverage in this situation will be tragic from the outset, incommensurate to the suffering that will follow. This is significant. In a way, we perform our own ban, our own suspension when we conceive of life in the moment of revolt as interruption or suspension of capital or normality (which is death-as-life). In other words, if we think that what happens in revolt is a more authentic experience, that leaves us unprepared for making sense of tragedies like the one we’re in, and this will surely blind us. The fact that there is not enough infrastructure in this country to care for all the people that need it is significant. This is a fissure we cannot cover over with weak conceptions of happiness, or hopes of “participating more fully”. 
It is so clear to me that we have – despite all of this – the chance to reintroduce something like a global proletarian movement. The common ground is there, especially after 2019, but it needs to be distilled into forms that will enable us to truly be resilient in the face of these disasters, and not crumble when the economy does (though this is inevitable given our dependency). This means developing the capacity to coordinate resources trans-regionally, organizing people reliably at a large scale without this ever taking the form of a hegemonic or sovereign power. It is so clear that information is the most valuable thing amidst this crisis, that being a reliable source of information is one of the main tasks our movements will face in the future. This new episteme of information has so far remained neglected. Beyond that, we will continue just as before: trying to effectively produce the things we need outside of the economy while in turn impairing the latter severely, preparing ourselves to catch those who wander away from this world, as so many will have nowhere else to turn. Local struggles will certainly encounter limits in upturning a global problem. Yet they gesture towards each other, this is unmistakable. Their rhythms synchronize, bursting into chorus ever more often. This is why coordination at an international level is key to our moment.
And yet as real as this chance to stop the devastation of the planet and build a more free world feels from inside quarantine, at other times it seems like every other missed opportunity – a mirage. Dreadful panic sets in, the frozen sun goes down. Fear, uncertainty, loss; we live in the darkest of times. Our task is still to introduce a real state of emergency. Wash your hands. Wear a mask.
 „Ich weiß,/ ihr berührt euch so selig, weil die Liebkosung verhält,/ weil die Stelle nicht schwindet, die ihr, Zärtliche,/ zudeckt; weil ihr darunter das reine/ Dauern verspürt“
[I know/ you touch so blissfully because the caress preserves,/ because the place you cover so tenderly/does not vanish; because underneath it/ you feel pure duration]
-Rilke
 -Orion
Atlanta, April 02, 2020
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You Can’t Walk Alone
Summary: Dan was looking forward to his school trip to Disney World with his friends for over a year, but his friends are closer to each other than Dan. So, Dan ends up rooming with an older student, Phil. Dan may end up with a new friend or maybe something more.
Word Count: 3672
Beta: @phillies-quiff
A/N: This fic was written for the @phandomreversebang based on the art and prompt from @billacookie. Check out the art here. Read on A03.
Dan was antsy as he deplaned in Florida. He had been looking forward to this trip for over a year now. All the GCSE and A-level students could go to Disney during the winter half-term. He couldn’t go last year because he was only in year 9. The school somehow passed the trip off as being educational. No one really bought that it actually was. Dan was convinced that included the administration. Once they all got through customs and baggage claim, they took a shuttle bus to the hotel.
Once they got to the hotel, everyone sat down in clusters with their friends, waiting impatiently. Except for a Year 13, Dan recognized as Phil Lester. Dan didn’t know much about him other than his name. Phil was sitting on the floor against the wall, staring at his phone. Dan must have been staring because Phil looked up and caught Dan’s eye. Dan looked away, trying to tune back into the conversation his friends, Logan and Adam, were having. Their chaperone, Mrs. Miller, called for everyone’s attention. “Before you head up to your rooms, I just want to go over some rules for this week…” Dan tuned the rest out. He knew what she was going to say, be respectful of the people around you, keep the noise to a respectable volume, don’t walk around by yourself, blah, blah, blah. The rules have been the same for every school trip Dan has been on since primary school. Dan snapped back to reality when he heard Mrs. Miller call his name.
“Ooh.” His friends said, although not actually loud enough for anyone else to hear. Dan elbowed Logan before getting up and walking over to Mrs. Miller.
“Yes, Miss?” Dan said.
“Daniel,” she said, “there’s been a bit of confusion with your room.” Dan waited for her to continue. “Well, on your form, you said you wanted to room with Logan.”
“Yes…” 
“Logan said he wanted to room with Adam, and Adam put Logan on his form.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll get this sorted. You can have a seat.”
Dan went back and sat down.
“What was that about, mate?” Adam asked.
“Nothing.” Dan said staring at the floor. He saw Logan and Adam look at each other and shrug out of the corner of his eye.
Mrs. Miller went through the rest of the forms. She got through most of the pairs before she got back to Dan.
“Daniel,” she said, “you’re going to room with Philip.”
Dan and Phil both got up and walked over to Mrs. Miller.
“What?” Dan said.
“I know it’s not typical to put two different years together, but there aren’t that many sixth form students this year, and Philip, you said you didn’t mind who you roomed with, correct?” It wasn’t really a question, and they all knew it.
“Yes, Miss,” Phil said.
“Good.” Mrs. Miller handed Phil their room keys, and they got their luggage and headed towards their room.
After everyone got their room assignments, they had a couple of hours to settle in before they went to dinner. When they got to the room, Dan put his suitcase next to one of the beds, then flopped onto it, rolled over, and stared at the ceiling. He turned his head and saw Phil unpacking. 
“You should unpack, too,” Phil said.
Dan grunted in response.
“So, how did you end up with me as your roommate?” Phil was asking just to make conversation. There was nothing unkind about his tone.
Normally, Dan would’ve made some noncommittal response, but for some reason he wanted to tell Phil the truth. “I only have two mates, and they decided to room with each other.” “What about you?”
“None of my mates wanted to go. They think we’re too old for Disney”
“You’re never too old for Disney.”
“That’s what I said!”
Dan couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face.
A little while later, they went downstairs to the hotel restaurant for dinner. Dan met up with his friends who were sitting with a few other people from their year, while Phil went and sat with some of the girls from his year. Dan tried to be involved in the conversation his friends were having, but it clearly started before he got there, and he was having trouble keeping up. He kept sneaking glances over at Phil, who seemed to be having a good time, laughing at something one of the girls said. Dan wished he knew why he was so drawn to him. There was just something magnetic about Phil that Dan couldn’t put his finger on.
“Dan,” someone said. He couldn’t quite tell whose voice it was. Dan snapped back to reality.
“You alright, mate?” Adam asked.
“Yeah,” Dan lied. No one pushed him on it. His friends continued their conversation. Dan tried to participate more now. But every once in a while, he caught a glimpse of Phil in his peripheral vision.
Breakfast the next morning was pretty much the same. Dan pretended to be interested in his friends’ conversation, but he kept sneaking glances over at Phil. The only difference was the reminder not to walk around the park alone, and that lunch and dinner would not be provided. They were going to Epcot today.
Everyone got on the shuttle bus. Once they got to the park, Mrs. Miller told them they had to meet back where they were at 9:30pm to go back to the hotel. They all got off the bus and split up into their groups. Dan and his friends just walked around aimlessly. There weren’t really any rides at Epcot, so there wasn’t a lot to do. They saw a few characters. Dan wanted to get signatures from a few of them, especially Jasmine, but he knew his friends would never let him hear the end of it if he did.
Eventually, Dan got hungry. He asked his friends where they wanted to go.
“What about the fish shop?” Logan said.
“Really?” Dan said. “We can get fish and chips anytime. What about the Japanese place?”
Logan and Adam both made disgusted faces.
Dan rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go to the Japanese place, and you guys can go to the fish shop and we’ll meet after.”
“You can’t walk around by yourself, mate,” Adam said.
“So, walk me there, and then I won’t be walking alone.”
Logan and Adam shrugged, but all three of them walked to the Japanese place. Once they got there, Dan asked them again if they were sure they didn’t want to join him.
They both said they were sure. So, Dan went inside and Logan and Adam headed off. Dan was about to ask the hostess for a table for one, but then he saw Phil sitting with the same people he sat with at dinner the night before. Phil got up and headed toward Dan.
“You’re not allowed to walk around by yourself, you know?” Phil said.
“Funny,” Dan said sarcastically.
“Where are your mates?” 
“They’re boring. They wanted fish and chips.”
“Why? We can get fish and chips any time.”
“Right?”
After a beat, Phil said “You can join us if you want. We have an extra chair.”
“Thanks”
Phil nodded and headed back to the table. Dan followed him. Once they both sat down, Phil introduced Dan to everyone. Then he said, “We got every type of sushi to share.”
“Sounds good.”
The food arrived not too long after that. Everyone was eating and talking. Dan felt much more comfortable around Phil and his friends than he ever did around his own.
The meal was winding down. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted anything else, which they didn’t. They were all stuffed from the sushi. Once they paid, they got up, Phil waited for his friends to walk ahead, then he said, “You can hang out with us if your friends ditched you.”
“Thanks, but they said they would meet me here when they were done.”
Phil nodded, and they walked outside. Adam and Logan were there.
“Finally,” Logan said, “we’ve been waiting for twenty minutes.”
Phil cocked an eyebrow at Dan. Dan ignored Logan’s comment. “Guys, this is Phil,”
“Alright?” they all said at the same time.
Dan saw Phil look at all of them. “See you around, mate” Phil said, then he jogged to catch up to his friends.
“Mate?” Adam asked.
Dan shrugged and tried to act nonchalant, but he was just as confused. Phil Lester was his mate?
The rest of the day was uneventful. They continued to walk around aimlessly. When Adam and Logan got hungry and wanted to go to the fish shop again, Dan didn’t even put up a fight. He was still full from the sushi. They got back on the bus to the hotel not too long after that.
Dan woke up the next morning. Once his eyes focused, he saw Phil at the desk on his laptop. He had obviously showered already since his hair was wet. Phil must have noticed Dan staring. Phil turned to Dan and they exchanged good mornings.
“How did you sleep?” Phil asked.
“Good, you?”
“Alright. I couldn’t really sleep because I was excited about today.”
Dan gave Phil a confused look. They were going to Animal Kingdom today. Which in Dan’s opinion was by far the least interesting park. “Really?”
“Yeah. I just want to see all the animals. Maybe befriend a giraffe.”
Dan laughed. “Good luck with that.”
“Shut up,” Phil said although he was laughing too at this point.
Once they had both calmed down, Phil said, “Seriously though, I really do love animals. I wanted to be a vet.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I even worked at a vet clinic for work study in Year Ten, but I passed out when the vet did surgery on a dog’s jaw”
“That sounds traumatizing”
“It was, but at least I learned that being a vet wasn’t for me. Have you thought about what you want to do for work study?”
“Not really. I probably should, I only have a couple of months now. Although, knowing myself, I’m probably going to submit the form at the last minute and just get stuck with whatever everyone else didn’t want.”
“Well, what do you want to do?”
“I want to be an actor, but what are the chances of that actually happening?”
“You never know. It could happen.”
“I guess. We should probably go downstairs for breakfast.”
“Alright.” Phil closed his laptop and they both got up, and headed down to the lobby.
They didn’t have as much freedom to wander around as they did the day before. There was only so much to do at Animal Kingdom. They all went on the Safari first thing. Phil and his friends were at the front, and Dan and his friends were at the back. Dan was looking at Phil more than he was at the animals. Fortunately, Phil was so enthralled by the animals, he was completely oblivious to everything else. They did see a giraffe. Phil looked disappointed that he couldn’t get any closer to it. After the Safari, they could technically walk around on their own, but there weren’t really any rides. All the shows had specific times, so they all pretty much stayed together the whole day.
On the bus on the way back to the hotel, Logan said, “What’s up with you and Lester?”
“What are you on about?”
“You’ve been staring at him all day.”
Dan blushed. “No, I haven’t,” he said even though he knew it was true.
“Yes, you have. You have a thing for him or something?”
“No,” Dan said defensively. Then he turned to the window to make it clear the conversation was over. He didn’t turn his head until they got back to the hotel, and he felt Logan get out of the seat.
Once Dan got off the bus. He stormed up to his room. He tried to unlock the door with his key card, but it wouldn’t take it. Phil was next to him a few moments later.
“Dan what’s wrong?” Phil got out his own key card and unlocked the door. He held it open for Dan.
“Nothing.” Dan walked through the doorway and flopped onto the bed.
“Dan…”
“It’s stupid.” Dan rolled over facing away from Phil.
Phil waited for Dan to continue.
“My friends think I have a thing for you” Dan mumbled.
Dan rolled on to his back. He really didn’t want to see Phil’s reaction, but he did out of the corner of his eye. Phil looked at him wide-eyed.
Dan turned over and buried his face in the pillow. A few moments later, Dan felt the mattress move. The next thing he knew, Phil was rubbing his back.
“It’s alright, Dan.” Phil continued to rub his back.
Before Dan knew it, it was the next morning. Dan looked over at the other bed. Fortunately, Phil was still asleep. Dan went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. When he got out, Phil was sitting up on the bed. Dan tried to not make eye contact with him. Dan spent the rest of the morning on his laptop. When it was time to go downstairs, he didn’t even wait for Phil like he had the past two days.
Dan did a pretty good job of avoiding Phil for most of the day. At least until he went to Space Mountain. Phil was ahead of him in line. It didn’t take long for his friends to spot Phil too. When Logan did, he called out, “Hey, Dan! It’s your boyfriend!” A bunch of other people from their year who were waiting in line laughed. Dan wouldn’t let himself catch Phil’s eye, so he had no idea what his reaction was. Dan got out of line and started power walking as fast as he could away from everybody. “It was a joke, mate,” Adam called after him. He had no idea where he was going. He just needed to get away from everyone. It didn’t take long for a shadow to fall over him. Dan knew exactly who it was without turning around.
“Dan! Stop!” Phil said.
“Fuck off”
“I can’t. You’re not allowed to walk around by yourself.”
Dan slowed down and let Phil catch up. “Why do you care?”
“They were talking about me too. You realize that, right?”
Now Dan stopped. It hadn’t even occurred to him how Phil felt. “I’m sorry”
“You don’t need to apologize, Dan. Just talk to me. Come on.” Phil led Dan to an empty bench, and they sat down. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
Dan looked up and tilted his head back, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “I like you.”
“I like you too”
“You do?” Dan looked at Phil for what felt like the first time in days.
Phil nodded.
They kissed. It was short and sweet. When they pulled apart, Dan had a smile spread across his face. He looked over at Phil and saw the same expression. Dan couldn’t believe it actually happened. He kissed Phil Lester.
“My offer still stands by the way,” Phil said.
“What?”
“If you don’t want to hang out with your friends, you can hang out with me.”
“Thanks.”
Dan and Phil spent the rest of the day together. He didn’t see Logan and Adam once until they were getting on the shuttle. 
“Mate, what happened to you?” Adam asked.
“Pft, like you care?
Neither Adam nor Logan responded.
Finally, Adam said “We’re sorry.”
“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for”
Adam started to say something, but Dan cut him off, “Forget it, mate.”
They all got on to the shuttle. Adam and Logan took their usual seats towards the back of the bus. Dan sat up front with Phil. Dan stared out the window for most of the ride back to the hotel. Phil was talking to some people from his year. Dan was content. He would have to make up with Adam and Logan at some point but not tonight.
Dan practically jumped out of bed the next morning. Phil was already up and laughed when Dan nearly fell over.
“Excited?” Phil said
“Shut up” Dan had a smile on his face though.
They both got ready and headed downstairs. They were going to Magic Kingdom again today.
Once they got off the bus, they decided to go on Space Mountain, since they never actually got to the day before. After that they were just trying to find rides that didn’t have ridiculously long lines. Phil somehow convinced Dan to go on Splash Mountain. After they got off, Dan was trying desperately to dry off to no avail. They walked around aimlessly for a little while.
“I don’t know why you thought that was a good idea,” Dan whined, wringing out his shirt again in a desperate attempt to dry off and get the chill out of him.
“Splash Mountain is fun”
“Yeah, when it’s 30 degrees out and you dry off in five minutes. Not in the middle of winter, when it’s barely room temperature.”
They walked past a gift shop.
“Here,” Phil said, “we can buy some new clothes”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“We’ll look like tourists.”
“We are tourists.”
“No one else needs to know that.”
Phil gave Dan a look.
“At least not before we start talking.”
Phil rolled his eyes and dragged Dan inside the gift shop. They both bought new outfits, although they way Dan was acting about it, you would’ve thought Phil was demanding that he walk around naked. Dan didn’t typically wear colors other than black or white, but they were in Disney world. If there’s ever a time to wear bright colors, this was it. By the time, Dan stopped acting like a toddler, they were both starving. They just went to the first restaurant they saw.
When they were done it was nearly 9 o’clock. Dan and Phil both wanted to see the fireworks show, so they headed to Cinderella’s Castle. The show started. They both stared at the fireworks as if they were five year olds seeing them for the first time. Once the last firework went off, Phil pulled Dan in for a kiss.
“That was incredible,” Dan said.
“The fireworks or me?” Phil said cheekily.
Dan slapped Phil on the arm playfully. “Both,” he admitted.
After the fireworks show, it was time to go back to the hotel.
Today was their last full day at Disney. Tomorrow they would be packing up the last of their stuff and getting on a plane to go home. Dan couldn’t believe how fast the week went. Once they were on the shuttle, Phil told Dan that he had a surprise for him.
“I hate surprises,” Dan whined, “just tell me.”
“Nope.”
Dan fake pouted the rest of the way to the park.
Hollywood Studios was a combination of Epcot and Animal Kingdom in terms of walking around aimlessly. There weren’t a ton of rides, but there also really weren’t a lot of shows. So, Dan and Phil just wandered around looking for things to do. Dan asked Phil what the surprise was approximately every ten minutes. Phil was doing a really good job of keeping his mouth shut, which just infuriated Dan. Finally, by late afternoon, Phil decided it was time to tell Dan his plan.
“I’m going to take you on a proper date.”
“Excuse me? Shouldn’t you ask me out on a date?”
Phil rolled his eyes, but he obliged. “Daniel, would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Yes, Phil, I would”
“Great. Let’s go.”
Phil took Dan to a 50s themed restaurant. He even paid for Dan’s meal despite the fact that they split the bill every other time they ate together.
Once they left, Phil said, “so how was that for a first date?”
“Amazing.”
Phil leaned in for a kiss.
“Do you think I’m the type of person to kiss someone on a first date?” Dan teased.
Phil fake pouted. Dan laughed and then kissed him.
They had to go back and meet everyone else now. They were leaving earlier than they had been, so everyone would have time to pack, and get ready to go home the next day.
The next morning they got up bright and early. Once they had finished getting ready, and packing up the last of their stuff, they went downstairs to the bus. Logan and Adam were there when Dan and Phil got there. Dan gave Phil a look as if to say give us a minute. Phil nodded and headed on to the bus.
“Hi.” Adam said.
“Hi.”
“Listen, mate, we’re really sorry about what happened the other day.”
“Be more specific.”
Logan took in a deep breath. Dan just wanted to see him squirm a little. He was going to forgive him. He didn’t really have a choice. It wasn’t like he had other friends. “I’m sorry that I said Phil was your boyfriend when I knew that he wasn’t.”
“It’s alright. You know because of you, Phil actually is my boyfriend now.”
“What?” For a second Dan thought Logan was actually angry, but then he burst out laughing.
“Good for you, mate,” Adam said.
All three of them got on the bus. Dan slid into the seat next to Phil, while Adam and Logan made their way to the back of the bus.
Before Dan knew it, he was in the air, sitting next to his friends catching each other up on everything that happened the past three days. Dan would never admit it if he was asked, but he was actually excited to go home. To have a proper relationship with Phil. Maybe even be real friends with Adam and Logan, not just someone they tolerated until someone better came along. Everything felt right.
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nascent-chaos · 4 years
Note
Hello again! This is the second ask to the first Pokemon Ask. Before you have answered an ask as to how the Skeletons would react to her 'Stay' Pokemon, so here I am asking how they would react and interact with her 'Gym Run Pokemon'? Also how far in the League Challenge did she get to? Like in the league was she in the top 32 (if this was like the Pokemon anime)? or did she get up to challenging the Elite 4? You can change the lineup if you want.
In relation to this ask from a while back~ ♡
Reed’s Team || The Boy’s Thoughts (Stayed Team)
Reed continues to specialize in Grass and Fairy-type Pokemon; while she does have a variety of Pokemon, it’s her Primarina, Lilligant, Gardevoir, Ninetales (Alolan), Mawile, and Absol that travel with her the most and accompany Reed when she moves in with our boys.
In terms of her records within the league itself, Reed has participated in two separate Pokemon League Conferences to date. She had ranked within the top thirty-two in her first conference, after which she and her team agreed to take a year or so off from traveling and the gym challenge to focus on their training. Their second and most recent try at the conferences went far better and their hard work was put on full display, and they made it to the top eight before their winning streak was finally brought to a halt. She has yet to be eligible to challenge the Champion League, but she and her team are determined to get there someday~ Again, they had decided to focus on training up a bit more before taking a whack at the next gym challenge and subsequent PLC, which is what brought them back to Ebbot - and led to a fateful run-in with a few particularly bony monsters~
Sans :: Hey, everybody’s got their quirks. He knew full well that inviting the trainer to stay with them meant inviting her team as well, and that meant seven new personalities under this already chaos-filled roof. He takes everything in stride though - Reed’s spent enough time on the road that her team naturally comes together to all pull their weight and, interestingly enough, they all help to make up for each others’ flaws. By and large, he seems to get along well with all of her Pokemon this time around but seems especially fond of her Mawile. This is likely because the Pokemon tends to have a bit of a mischievous streak as well, and the two are often in cahoots when it comes to playing innocent pranks on one of the others.
Papyrus :: Of course Papyrus would get along well with her team! This skeleton has the fiery soul of a trainer himself, and there’s no one better at supporting Reed and her team than he! His keen observational skills, boundless creativity, and unique perspective have proven themselves to both the human as well as her Pokemon and he’s often asked to help the group during training sessions, partnering up with one of her team to catch a brief glimpse into the joy that is being a trainer (a fact that only fuels his not-so-secret desire to someday become a trainer himself).
But where he’ll openly tout his natural skills for all around, just as often will he praise the hard work and cheer on those around him, too. It’s just one of the many reasons why he’s so well-loved by not only Reed but every last member of her team, as his constant encouragement always helps to lift their spirits! And don’t think this kind of behavior is limited to just the arena - even around the house, he’s a good friend to each and every one of them. It’s not uncommon to see he and Lilligant, and Primarina tending to the garden early in the morning, or for Absol or Ninetales to accompany him on an evening jog. Then there’s Mawile, who might be his brother’s newest partner-in-crime, but still helps in making sure Sans doesn’t leave too many of his socks lying around, and at the end of the day there’s no pair better than Papyrus and Gardevoir to make sure Reed is well taken care of.
Red :: Not much has changed here: his habitual flirting with Reed immediately places him on the shit-list of several of her Pokemon, much to his displeasure. Okay, so sure, Reed has a bit more worldly experience thanks to her travels and her team won’t be as overprotective of their trainer as her ‘stay’ team might have been, but even they’ll only allow Red to take things so far before they’ve finally had enough. Yes, Red is still dealing with the ominous leers from Absol in the corner of the room and Lilligant undermining his every attempt to flirt with their trainer, but by and large the biggest problem he has rests with another member of her team entirely.
 If you thought the chaos between Red and Kirlia was something to see, it’s nothing compared to the outright feud that’s sprung forth between him and Kirlia’s evolved form. He and Gardevoir never pass up the opportunity to try and spite one-another, and the strange competition between the two has devolved to encompass even the pettiest of things, often with Reed at the center. So what if the Pokemon is in tune with its trainer’s emotions? Red’s intent on showing that frilly pain in the ass that he can get by without having to resort to using that kind of trick never mind that he can hear her soul.
Edge :: He’s the first to voice his displeasure at the news of a trainer moving in with them (and rather loudly at that). One person would be fine enough, sure - but did she have to bring six of those strange creatures along with her?!
He’ll pout and gripe and groan aloud, but over time it’s more for show than anything else. He does hold some respect for the creatures, what with the effort they clearly put into their training each and every day, and it’s through watching Reed and her team that he gradually begins to come around. And sure, Edge and Absol continue to fight over who gets the comfortable spot on the sofa, and yes he’ll always be irate when Mawile tag-teams with one of the other skeletons to pull some prank on him, but by and large he comes to accept the group as just another bunch of peculiar misfits in this strange family.
He gets along quite well with her Ninetales, despite the rocky start the pair’d had (a result of Red trying to yank on one of the Pokemon’s tails and nearly getting frozen solid as a result). He’ll often assist its trainer with the Pokemon’s grooming, stating proudly that no one knows better about looking perfect and pristine than he. Likewise, he and Primarina are on fairly good terms, with the latter having even allowed Edge to take on the role of its trainer during some practice sessions while Reed works with one of the others.
Blue :: The moment he learns that Reed will be staying with them for some time? It’s like an absolute dream come true! He’s held a profound fascination for Pokemon as a whole since he’d first come to this universe, AND NOW HE GETS TO LIVE ALONGSIDE AN HONEST-TO-THE-ANGEL TRAINER AND HER TEAM!!
Once his initial excitement has had a chance to die down he’s amazed at how… normal living with Pokemon is. It’s true that, alongside Papyrus, Blue quickly becomes a member of the team’s close circle, and often pairs up his own training with that of Reed’s Pokemon to spice things up a bit for both parties, but outside of all that? There’s helping Gardevoir hang the laundry, brushing Absol when the time comes for it to blow its summer coat, the always-insane grocery runs with Mawile and Lilligant… existing alongside these creatures is even better than he’d dreamed it would be! It’s safe to say he gets along fantastically with each member of her team, and they enjoy his company just as much.
Stretch :: He’s probably the most curious - and in turn the most knowledgeable - of all the variants when it comes to this world, to the point he might even outclass the classics in terms of raw information. Now that he’s living with a trainer, too? Well, he’ll try to keep the initial onslaught of questions a bit spread out, but they’re a bit overwhelming regardless.
By and large, he’s fairly laid back once the group has settled in. He has little problem with most of her team, although in the first few weeks they are somewhat apprehensive around him - hey, he’s still a Papyrus, and that means a love for physical contact he’s not big on openly admitting. A majority of her team, lead by an overprotective Lilligant and Gardevoir, tend to make it a point to shoo him away when they feel he’s started getting a bit too close to their comfort, but hey! At least he’s not Red, so there’s that. He’ll tag along to quietly observe their training sessions from time to time, and might ask an unusual question out of the blue when it strikes him, but for the most part he attempts to keep things as normal as possible around the group.
Black :: Black is… actually impressed?
Hey, he’s a monster who will give a minute amount of praise where he feels it’s deserved and, to everyone’s surprise, her team manages to make the cut. But this may be because he’s actually been aware of Reed and her status as a trainer even before she’d moved in with them thanks mostly to the broadcasting of the various conferences around the world.
Like Blue, Black holds quite the fascination with Pokemon, but he tends to keep it under wraps better than his more energetic counterpart. He appears to be almost as curious as Stretch is in terms of the creatures and the lifestyle that is being a trainer in general, to the point that Hickory jokingly says his brother’s aspiring to become a trainer himself. Regardless, he does acknowledge Reed and her team, as he has seen first-hand the effort they put forth in improving themselves day by day. Does he still have a habit of bossing the poor human about from time to time? Of course, and that’s not going to change any time soon. But at least he’s not on a warpath with her Pokemon this time around, and by and large, things remain relatively cordial between him and her team.
Hickory :: Eh… Hickory has mixed feelings about the group when they first move in. It’s nothing personal - he just finds the fact that Reed and her team participate in those showy fights for fun a little off-putting at first. Where he comes from, those types of things weren’t done for recreation and, sure, he knows things are different here, but it still doesn’t settle too well with him. Like Red, Hickory’s open flirting with Reed initially marks him as one of the bunch to watch out for, but in time it seems to be done more because he knows it’ll get a rise out of her pokemon and less done out of a genuine attempt to hit on the young woman. For the most part, though, he is fairly easy-going around the lot and has little to complain about, with the sole exception of Primarina. He finds the Pokemon’s somewhat hoity toity behavior unbearable and isn’t above committing small pranks against the primadonna for a good chuckle from time to time.
Dust :: Dust remains fairly nonplussed by their presence, though it’s clear to see there are very few on Reed’s team that take to him kindly. Absol, in particular, seems to hold a deep disdain for the skeleton that appears to go beyond a simple dislike toward his cold and uncaring demeanor, but if he’s noticed he’s never made any mention of it. He continues to crack the somewhat morbid puns that have marked him as one of the more unpleasant of the lot if only to see it unnerve them, and cares little for the fact that they give him a wide berth when he’s in the room. He’ll gladly ignore them so long as they ignore him.
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nowitsdarkfic · 4 years
Text
chapter seventeen (bleached nirvana underpants)
December 20, 1988. Belltown, Washington.
The hotel Lars and the girls had helped me pick out is a long low inn in the shape of an “L”, with a slanted black roof and a wrap around black screen on the outside walls on one side. It's probably the one thing here in the central part of the city that actually has some life to it with a few people congregated near the big screen. As the seven of us are stepping into the front lobby for the five of us guys to check in for the night, I catch a glimpse of the words “Maxwell Industries” imprinted on the edge of the screen.
I knew it. I'm getting closer. At least I hope I am.
I'm not really up for another round of hockey after what happened earlier. I think it might have to do with the fact that we participated in that right after we got off the plane, but I can't really say for sure. We surely had our work cut out for us against a bunch of cyborgs.
Lars, Spence, and I are sharing a room right across the parking lot, which means Lars and I are probably going to have to sleep head to toe again tonight. I just hope I don't kick him in the head again because I need him to be well rested so we can do a little snooping around here in the heart of downtown. This band Nirvana, the one that's playing down the road from us in Hoquiam, is a good reason to stay here for a couple of days before Christmas. I'm looking forward to seeing them as well as roaming about the streets of downtown Seattle in order to figure some things out. I wonder if we'll run into Nancy and Dominique at some point as I unlock the door of our room.
It's a small room with two queen sized beds and a rickety looking nightstand right in between them. Right across the room is a walk-in closet and the bathroom. To my left stands the dresser which holds the TV and a little coffee maker with a bunch of paper cups. Reminds me of all the rooms I stayed in with Anthrax.
The four of us amble into the room and set down our things, but before I can take off my coat and my shirt, Spence already has me beat, peeling off his shirt and ducking into the bathroom for a shower with his shampoo in hand.
“Damn it!” I blurt out and he bursts out laughing. Meanwhile, on the first bed right next to me, Lars groans in pain as he sinks down right on the edge: he's gripping onto his cane like it's about to get away from him.
“Are you alright?” I ask him in a kind voice.
“In pain. Horrible pain. God, it hurts so bad.”
“Do you want me to get you something?”
“No, no. It's fine.”
“No. Dude—” I'm interrupted by Spence muttering “ah, man” to himself, and the sound of his voice is then followed by the loud whistle of the shower head in the bathroom.
“Jesus,” I say aloud, and then I return my attention to Lars. “Anyways, it looks like a part of your body is about to explode, dude. I'm gonna get you something for the pain.”
“No, Joey. Please. No.”
“Lars,” I say to him.
“I just have to—God, I don't even know—”
“Lars!”
He quips something to me in words that don't sound English.
“I don't speak freaky weaky Danish,” I scoff at him.
“I made up the whole thing about Dominique calling everyone you knew after the accident,” he confesses in a single breath.
“What?”
“I made the whole thing up!”
“What—” I run both my hands through my hair. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I was under the influence of a ton of morphine then, alright?”
“That doesn't explain that, though! Or justify it for that matter!”
“I made it up because I didn't want you to worry about anything. Dominique left the scene after we were taken to the hospital so she had nothing to do with it. She probably thinks we're just now getting out of it. I only did it because it's bad enough that you and I are uncovering things about Maya together and my marriage and your best friend are both already on the line as a result of it—like you need to worry about your parents worrying about what happened to you. You got the least worst of it anyways.”
“I still could've been killed, though, Lars,” I curtly point out to him. “I hit my head, for crying out loud!”
“Yes, but you're alive, aren't you? It was a narrow escape and I knew that was the case when I awoke in the hospital bed and I saw you laying next to me. I got the worst of it and all I could think was 'holy hell, that was a close one.' I was injected with loads of morphine and even under the veil of the fog, it allowed me to think about things a little more, about what happened and what's happening at the moment. It was kind of like thinking about things while you're still half asleep and you let every single thought through, and that was one of the things I thought of and I would have to tell you when you woke up. Yes, it was completely a dick move on my part and for that, I apologize. Sincerely. But you have to understand, Joey, that if you and I are going to be involved in this mystery together, we need to care for each other and I knew you were going to worry about your parents and what they might think. Speaking as the guy who got the worst of the accident and was loaded with morphine directly afterwards.”
I shake my head at him. I have no idea what to think right now.
“Joey, listen to me—” He stands up only for his face to twist in pain. He clutches at his bad knee and almost falls onto the floor. “—listen. I know for a fact you love your parents, and they love you back. Even in my opiate laden state, I remembered that they love you more than anything in the world. So the last thing they need to hear is—their little boy was in a car accident in the big—” He grimaces. “—the big stinking city.”
He groans and collapses onto his back right on the bed. I stand there before him with my hands pressed to my hips and the annoyed feeling still residing within me.
“Could you—walk into this neighborhood here and get me some ibuprofen or something?” he stammers out.
“Can I take a shower first?” I demand to him, chewing on my bottom lip.
“I don't know if I can take another second of it,” he confesses. “You still have the twenty dollars I gave you before we flew out here on you?”
“In my pocket.” I let out an exasperated sigh. “Alright, fine. I'll be right back.”
I close my coat and return back outside to the low hanging fog and the raw, heavy feeling of beckoning snow. I never would think a place like Seattle would experience snow, but if anything like everything that's happened to this point is possible, that might be possible, too.
Even though I have my leather gloves back on, I've got my hands in my coat pockets as I head on down the cold hard sidewalk to the corner. I wonder what else is being hidden from me as I reach the corner and glance about the block. The cold wind is blowing through my black hair which is still damp from sweating: I close my coat even more to keep the chill at bay. I peer up at all the buildings here in this part of town, all of them looking almost identical with their black slate walls and their flickering blue neon lights on the sides. There is a little orange and yellow hut looking place right up the block from me with a sign out front reading “Mama's Mexican Kitchen.”
But the street before me is stretching onward into the heart of downtown. The whole thing is tempting, but I can't do it just yet.
Lars is in pain and I need to get him something. If only there's a drug store around here somewhere.
There's a dumpster on the corner right in front of me. I wonder if Maya camped out there while she was here. Who knows and who knows if I'll ever know.
But after looking both ways, I head on over to the other side of the street to meet up with the dumpster and the first thing that catches my eye is a small pile of empty orange pill bottles, complete with the white lids.
No, I can't do that to Lars. He even said morphine made him do it.
But as I'm moseying on closer to the pile and I crouch down for a better look at them, I notice the faint glimmers of blue neon inside one of the bottles. The label on another one facing me reads “cybernetic serum: the pain medicine of tomorrow. use only with caution and for the most intense of injuries. take only orally with water. copyright morlente medicine, a division of maxwell industries.”
Hmm.
Morlente Medicine? As in Maya's foster parents? It's also a division of Maxwell Industries, but at the same time, I also don't know where the nearest drugstore is and poor Lars is in agony. I pick up the one on the top to better examine the stuff that's inside. It's like black ink with pieces of blue glitter mixed into it. At least it's not toxic.
I take it back with me to the hotel, although I'm not sure how this will fare for either of us, especially Lars. I return to the room to find Spence with no shirt on and a towel on his head, and Lars himself still laying on the bed. I swipe one of the little paper cups next to the coffee maker and take it into the tiny cramped bathroom to fill it with water. Carefully, I unscrew the lid from the bottle. It in fact smells like ink; and I drip two drops into the water where they dissolve and disappear at the snap of my fingers.
I take it back to Lars for him to drink it up.
“It's already dissolved,” I explain to him when he shows me a baffled look. He then nods and drinks down the whole cup of water. Breathing hard, his face twists into a smile which accentuates his little cheekbones.
“Better?” I ask him.
“Yes. Amazingly, yes. My knee doesn't hurt at all anymore.”
“Okay. You guys need me I'm gonna be in the shower.”
****************************************
The next day, the first day of winter and the day the sky was almost pitch black as a result, Marcia and Sonia meet us outside of the hotel from the little trip down to Hoquiam, which is right outside of another little town of Aberdeen, which is where Nirvana hails from. As we're leaving Seattle and headed on southward, the neon lights glare at me in the rear view mirrors. Maybe it was just an unfortunate side effect down in New Orleans, like maybe it was just nothing more a coincidence the banana slugs and the spiders got so big, but I had nothing more than doubts about all the neon and all the seemingly heavy machinery arising here in the cozy pocket of Washington. Lars is as chirpy as ever, given he walked to the car practically dancing with his cane in hand. I still want a stroll around the heart of downtown before we're done here, though.
Sonia, who's driving, takes the next exit off to Aberdeen, which will take us to Hoquiam. Such a small, backwoods little town, like Oswego if it didn't have such a tightly woven community surrounding the dingy parts and the power plant. Everything is gray, such that it sends a chill up my spine upon seeing it.
But even as we get out of the car in the gravel parking lot, I turn my head to look at the blue and green glow against the dark sky from the city to the north of us. I had my doubts but I'll admit that that's kind of creepy, the otherwise natural darkness of the Pacific Northwest bathed in manmade light. Something about that…
“Joey!” Sonia interrupts my train of thought. I turn to see her gesturing for me to follow them into this ramshackle white warehouse with a partially collapsed roof. And it takes me a minute to realize we're in a bar given there are still taps coming out of the walls. Even with a crowd in here, the whole place smells of mildew and stale beer. Reminds me of my cover bands.
Within moments, the band emerges on their shabby little stage: the drummer with his thin long dark hair taking his seat behind the tiny kit, the gangly looking bassist with his fine dark hair and heavy raincoat, and then there was the guitarist with his long blond hair partially covering his face, wrapped faded plaid sweater, and holding a shabby guitar in hand. The neck of his guitar is switched over sides: he's a leftie.
“Just a three piece?” I ask Sonia.
“Just a three piece.”
“Hello, everyone,” the bassist greets us through his tiny microphone. “We are Nirvana and I want to say that we're in the midst of making an album at the moment.”
Some people in front of us cheer out: I notice two people near the front beginning to mosh. Such energy for such a little venue, my God.
“This whole place stinks!” the bassist continues, wagging his finger. “It needs some bleach!”
The guitarist joins in from his right.
“I think 'oh, oh, oh' means 'shut up, Krist,'” he retorts to him, and that coaxes a laugh out of me.
“This song is about a girl,” he announces to us.
Oh.
My.
God.
The grungest grunge that ever grunged right here. It's like a fuzzy Beatles song. Soundgarden has “Flower”, and they have this song. It must be a coincidence.
I'm just totally guessing but it's like Seattle is trying to give me a sign. A sign that I need to do a little more to help Maya.
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cartoonfangirl1218 · 5 years
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Castillo-Flores Family Headcanons
Raul and Lucia
For their first anniversary, Lucia gave Raul a handmade guitar that Francisco helped her to construct. She bought the strings, cut the woods, all the fine details and painted the guitar with designs of flowers, jaquins and the royal Castillo family crest. She really wanted the gift to be from the heart and even tried to make up a song to go with it. Even though the verses were a little off the rhyme scheme, her beautiful voice and sweet gesture brought a warm feeling to Raul, knowing he had such a loving and thoughtful wife.
In the first few months of their courtship, though Lucia loved Raul, Lucia felt pressured to be the perfect perfect girlfriend and future queen. Raul gave her a compliment every day and had discussions with her after her lessons to sooth her fears and reassure her that she was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he would love her even if she didn’t know the five major exports of Avalor to Cariza.
Their favorite time to spend together was at twilight time. They would spend hours by the window of the Grand Council room, looking at the stars. Raul was very knowledgeable of astronomy and would point out the constellations to her. But Lucia enjoyed this uninterrupted time that they spent hugging each other with small kisses, enjoying the silence and quiet of the night. It felt like they were the only two people in the world of darkness, but they didn’t notice that darkness because they had each other.
Though Lucia was considered the witty, funny one. Raul was especially quick to crack a pun which everyone would good-naturedly groan but Lucia would laugh at delightedly because her husband was such a dork.
Raul and Lucia would have good-natured fencing matches so Lucia could keep up her skill as a fencing champion. When Lord Elrod made that trick move that broke Lucia’s wrist, Raul was absolutely enraged on her behalf but Lucia calmed him down, stating that there was nothing they could do about that “accident.” But Raul still disliked Lord Elrod since then.
At many of the Avaloran celebrations that they celebrated, Raul and Lucia would sing a duet together. It was not tradition, but they did so much, it was starting to become an expected occurrence. It had all started because Lucia simply enjoyed singing the songs Luisa and Francisco had taught her. Many of these songs had been out of use but since she was queen, the two brought them back again. Plus it gave the crowd a glimpse at the love they shared with each other by the fact they wouldn’t take their eyes off one another.
Their first Navidad together, they almost set the ballroom on fire. Raul was trying to be extra romantic and smooth for the holiday so he decorated the tree with lighted candles on every bough that would make the tree look like it had no leaves, just candles. Well the tree didn’t have any leaves because the candles soon lit it on fire. Lucia tried to set off the flames by smashing it with the window curtains, but the extra flapping made a breeze that only stirred it up more. Luckily, the chief of the palace was on the job and set it out with the gardening hose. They still referenced that Navidad with such fondness.
Castillo-Flores Family 
Besides jumping on the bed and reading stories, the couple included huge pillow forts to do on weekends and rainy days. These pillow forts were huge, they’d take up the whole bed and then the whole room since they would borrow the pillows from the living room couches and guest rooms. Raul would play the destroyer, trying to wreck the fort while all the ladies defended it.
Back then, Elena was still as impulsive as she is now, but she didn’t quite know how to word her feelings like when Isabel was born. She was happy but at the same time she was also jealous of this new sister. So she’d do spontaneous songs or plays to grab her parents’ attention when they went to look after Isabel and sometimes throw tantrums when she didn’t succeed. Even then, she still had a sense of knowing that she was being selfish and then she’d go off and sulk alone. Raul and Lucia remedied this by taking turns with their time between Isabel and Elena and also talking her through her feelings, explaining that they were normal to have and that she was allowed to have them, but better ways to express that behavior too.
The family would sometimes bake together. They’d kick out the royal chef for the night and spend the afternoon making treats. They all had a sweet tooth though so sometimes they would just make the dough and then eat it. But more often, Raul would bring them back on track and get them to finish. Isabel’s job was always to measure and organize the ingredients while Elena stirred. Then they’d all take turns licking the batter. And Lucia and Raul showed them the art of winning a food fight when Raul “accidentally” put flour in Lucia’s hair and Lucia retaliated by wiping a piece of batter across his nose, then the fight begun.  
Family time was very important to them and their parents encouraged their natural talents. Raul was the one who taught them how to draw which Isabel found to be a natural asset to make her inventions. While Lucia would accompany them with music from her guitar and singing that Elena loves to do now. To make royal lessons more interesting and fun, they’d make up funny tunes that would help them remember the major cities/villages and kingdoms.
As we learned in Tides of Change, Raul made sure to include his daughters on projects, so they would have a taste of what it was like to rule. Lucia took Isabel to museums around Buena Vista that showed off the science exhibits that Isabel enjoyed studying but also focused on the cultural celebrations and important historical battles because as princess, Isabel would be expected to be a trove of information for guests at meetings. Raul took Elena down to the shore to build that lighthouse. Making sure she oversaw and saw each part of building that lighthouse from planning to construction to decoration. The girls appreciated how grown-up their parents treated them and making them feel like their opinions mattered.
When either Isabel or Elena had nightmares and climbed into their beds, Raul and Lucia would put their daughter in the middle between them, rock them to sleep, singing the traditional Avaloran lullaby that we heard from Island of Youth.
Flores Family 
Since the Flores family were low-ranking nobles, they were not expected to attend numerous events, but Francisco who still followed his strong moral code to help others, left over from his vigilante Los Tres days, insisted that their girls would find a project to help others and give back to the community. Lucia chose to volunteer at the children center to give music classes. Josefina helped to beautify Avalor by joining gardening and decorating committees for festivals.
Luisa showed her daughters her famous tortilla, flan and empanada recipes that were always a hit with their school friends. Luisa could almost be considered a PTA mom in modern times. She always volunteered at school functions and even helped to sew costumes for plays. Lucia was the athletic one while Josefina was the more artistic one but neither let that define them. Lucia would show off her musician skills (she could play piano, guitar and fiddle) and act in plays with her funny accents just as often as she appeared in the olaball court. Though, Josefina wouldn’t participate in team sports, she is able to keep up with Lucia in the fencing arena. Luisa was obviously Lucia’s coach for olaball, and Lucia had to go to Francisco because she felt Luisa was being too harsh and competitive.
The whole family enjoyed dancing and every Friday, they would go to the via mercado and join the crowd as a live band played in the town square to dance the night away to the samba, the tango, the salsa or whatever type of music was on that night. The girls admired how in-tune their parents were to each other and the music, and during dinnertime, their parents would make them work out which restaurant they would go for in order to encourage compromising. At the restaurant , Francisco and Luisa would tell stories from their youth that would usually end with them giving a quick kiss which never ceased to annoy their daughters at their PDA whilst making  them smile at how in love they were.
The room they would most often spend time together in would be the family living room. It had a cozy fireplace, pillow-stuffed chairs, flower boxes in the windows and was just a room where they would spend time to unwind and talk to each other about any issues they had. Luisa would provide the emotional comfort role and the mama-bear role while Francisco was more pragmatic and rational when it came to helping his daughters threw growing pains. When the time came from boys and dating, mellow Francisco became very protective and would greet their dates dressed in an sailor captain uniform with his eye-catching, newly sharpened brazier at his side.
Lucia and Josefina’s birthdays were very close together since their birthdays were two months apart (June and July respectively) but when it was time for Josefina’s quincenera, instead  of the competitive, whose birthday will be bigger and better drama, the two helped each out with the decorating and dress shopping. The most entertaining part was hiding the gifts that they got for each other. Lucia gave Josefina a whole jewelry collection she personalized herself. Josefina gave Lucia a stunning evening gown that she had sewn herself.
Lucia and Josefina were not morning people, and very deep sleepers so Francisco would wake them up with loud guitar strumming outside their doors, calling for them to wake up. Luisa would tempt them out with the smells of fresh food and threatened not to give them any coffee if they were going to come in grumpy and complaining. Lucia learned to copy their tactics whenever her daughters, especially Elena, were difficult to arouse.
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satbiym · 6 years
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Or Read it on AO3 Here
Chapter 3
They reached the stable in silence, the other man looking around wondrously, as if he had never seen the Palace he claimed to be the heir of.
Victor cleared his throat and attempted to do the same for his conscience.
“I believe the garments we can change into are there,” Victor said, pointing to the bags hidden behind the neighing line of horses.
At Victor voice the horses whinnied louder, peeping further out of their stalls to try and get a glimpse of Victor. Victor smiled, this time out of fondness.
“They know you.” The man said, a wondering tone, somehow his tone implied a query that didn’t ask for an answer; wanting them, but wanting to find them independent of outside influence.
Victor stalled. He could pretend he didn’t know them, forestalling the inevitable realization….
Victor’s mental machinations were cut off by a slobbery warmness that butted against his hand.
Victor sighed, but nonetheless patted his faithful steed who had given away his master’s strategy before it had even begun.
“Greetings my beautiful boy.” Victor crooned, patting the black head adorned with a white star.
A gasp filled the air.
Victor turned to look at the other man, who was staring wide-eyed at the horse currently nudging Victor’s pockets, probably looking for hidden apples.
“That - The star on his head, the blue eye, and the ox-head brand on his haunch… that’s Bucephalus.”
Victor laughed uncomfortably at the tone wrapped in shock and awe, wondering how he was going to talk himself out of this one; he decided to assess the information on the other side first, “Heard of him, have you?”
The way the man’s head shook incredulously would have been comical if his act wasn’t at the danger of being found out, as he stumbled out “Heard of - That’s the Megas Basileus’s horse! Even a fool living solely in the company of ants has heard of the most famous horse in history. ”
“You’re very, um, creative with your words.” Victor said weakly, mind still racing.
The man stepped forward in his eagerness, only to step back hurriedly when the previously docile horse snorted threateningly in his direction.
And damn if those brown eyes didn’t look so damn injured.
Victor bit back a sigh.
Mila was going to have his head for this.
Victor beckoned the man to stay where he was with his hands, saying, “It’s alright, Bucephalus is just… a tad testy around night time. It’s nothing against you, personally.”
The man settled back on the soles of his feet, now looking more enthused than hurt - thank Zeus for that -  and rambled, “Of course! I should have known, silly me. Everyone knows the tale of how the Basileus tamed him. I was just being careless in my excitement, for you see, I have never seen a horse before him.”
Victor blinked, his keen instincts giving up in the face of such absurdity, never seen a horse before? Where had this man grown up, in a dungeon?
But, on seeing the earnest look in the other’s eyes, Victor decided to play along with the farce, saying, “Oh, then it’s your lucky day to have your first be someone as fine as Bucephalus here. His breeding is from the best Thessalian strain.”
The other man nodded eagerly, and said, “I am lucky. Both to have had the opportunity to meet Bucephalus, as well as a stable master as accomplished as yourself.”
Victor’s brain stalled.
“Pardon?” Victor said politely, despite his brain having decided to not participate in the conversation any longer. It wasn’t the other man’s fault Victor’s brain had misheard, phony or no, he deserved at the bare minimum, some politeness.
Only… the other man’s face was alight with sincerity, “That’s who you are, correct? For it is known that no one other than the Megas Basileus could seat Bucephalus. It would make sense for the only other person to be the Basileus’s stable master, and given how much he likes you… Have I offended you in some way?”
Victor smiled brightly, forcibly wiping away the incredulous face he must have been making. Gods, the lengths mortals will go to deceive themselves about something that is right in front of their very eyes.
But unknowing or not, the other man had just provided Victor’s cover for him.
The gods take, but the gods also give a way.
“No, none! I was merely impressed at your deduction skills.” Victor said brightly.
“Oh! That’s a relief, because for a moment you looked… no matter. I was right though, you are special! For no one else who works as closely with such magnificent animals could be anything but!” The man said happily, shooting longing looks at Bucephalus.
Victor clenched his fist in protest.
Oh, what does it matter now.
Victor said, gentler than before, “You said you know how the Basileus tamed Bucephalus, can you perchance recount it for me?”
The man - if it was possible - brightened even further, and with a tone of someone delivering a bedtime tale to a babe, said, “The Basileus noticed that Bucephalus was scared of shadows, and that was why he was so distressed. He first spoke soothingly to the horse, all the while turning him towards the sun until he could no longer see his own shadow, and divesting himself of his own cloak. Thus, Bucephalus, no longer afraid, was tamed by the Basileus, a feat no man had achieved before, which the Basileus succeeded at at the age of twelve.”
Victor fought the urge to redden at the admiring tone, and continued, just as gently, “Precisely. Move away from the light, your shadow is scaring Bucephalus. That’s why he snorted at you. Go towards the wall, where the light won’t hit you, and walk towards me.”
The air seemed to shimmer with the other man’s hope, as he quietly did as Victor instructed, flattening himself against the wall and walking towards Bucephalus and Victor, Bucephalus paying him no mind.
A hush fell as the man finally stood before a disinterested Bucephalus.
The man didn’t move, choosing to stare wide-eyed at the horse. Clearly unclear of his next move.
At the sight of the confusion, Victor carefully took the other man’s hands, repressing his initial surprise at their softness - like they had never held a sword - and placed it lightly upon Bucephalus’s head, right over the white star pattern.
Bucephalus snorted, this time with less hostility than before, and abandoned Victor to sniff at the other man’s pockets, drawing a (adorable) squeak from the man at the movement.
Victor felt warmth curl up in his heart as he watched the other man pet his favourite horse and childhood friend with non-covetous awe, watching the horse like someone laying eyes on the sunset for the first time.  
“You know, in my head, I had always imagined horses to be huge, lumbering beasts of war. But he is quite remarkable, and beautiful, isn’t he? The Basileus must be gifted with extraordinary empathy to be able to recognize a creature in pain, when the rest of the world only saw danger.” The man whispered, still cradling Bucephalus’s head.
Aw, damnation.
Victor The Great, Megas Basileus, Warrior, Macedonian, and now apparently, Stable Master.
Oh, how Yakov would laugh when he heard of this absurd tale.
“You should really be getting out of those clothes, lest you catch a fever tomorrow.” Victor said stiltedly, unable to understand the emotions toiling within him.
The man laughed, a soft, marvelous thing, saying, “I will, in a moment. Just a moment more, if you please.”
Victor resisted the urge to tell him that he would be happy to stand here all night with him, if he wanted, and he stood with him in the quiet bubble they had found themselves in. Until, finally the man broke away with a musical laugh, stepping back.
“I’m ready now.”
Victor mentally shook himself, dispelling the fog that had sunk into his mind, and reached for the bag near Bucephalus, saying, “Fortunately for us, the Macedonians left their luggage here after the battle. This means we have garments to change into. Here. Take this one.”
The other man stepped back, looking alarmed, “But won’t they be upset at us stealing their clothes?”
“I imagine we need them more than they do at this point. The moral high ground is on our side, I assure you. Here.”
The man took the clothes, eyeing the ornate work on it. Victor stayed silent and firmly didn’t tell him that he was currently changing into the Basileus’s own clothes.
He instead pulled out another pair for himself.
Unashamed of their nudity, in true Greek fashion, they started undressing in front of the other.
Victor sighed as he was met with great difficulties trying to unclasp his robes, the water making the expensive garment heavier and cumbersome.
“Would you like some assistance?”
“How should a man be capable of grooming his own horse, or of furbishing his own spear and helmet, if he allows himself to become unaccustomed to tending even his own person, which is his most treasured belonging?” Victor said wryly.
The other man laughed, turning away, back to Victor, kindly looking away as Victor struggled to escape his threaded prison, and said, “If you say so, but help is near, if you find yourself undone by your clothes.”
Victor smiled at the imagery, shaking his head.
The man started pulling off his top.
Victor emerged victorious, and not to be undone in any battle, be it by sword or by tongue, quipped “Yes well, you will find that - ”
Victor stopped short, eyes catching on the birthmark of a wreath on the other man’s exposed right shoulder.
The man turned back askance, at the sudden silence, catching Victor’s wide eyes with his own.
Victor was very aware of his breathing.
“What? No answering quip. Have the cloths finally defeated you?”
Victor fought to keep his emotions out of his face, internally reeling, half-hearing what Yuuri - for this was Yuuri Katsuki, Heir to Hasetsu, of that he was now sure -  had just said. He wondered what he should do next: kill Yuuri as he stood, vulnerable and alone, to strengthen his claim to Hasetsu, or…
The Basileus must be gifted with extraordinary empathy to be able to recognize a creature in pain, when the rest of the world only saw danger.
Victor smiled back.
“There are so many worlds and I have not yet conquered even one. Not even the one in the realm of silk and cotton.” Victor said.
Yuuri laughed, throwing his head back, exposing his throat, “I’m think a man like you could conquer anything he wished to conquer.” He said, amusement lacing his tone.
Victor raised an eyebrow, “You think?”
Those eyes warmed, leaving Victor feeling like he was being watched after by a benevolent sun, and Yuuri said, fondness and certainty mixed with emotions it was surely too soon to be feeling, “No, I know.”
They looked at each other, Victor content to not move and return to a place where they would no longer be able to exist unquestioned. Victor had always considered a world with questions to be the only one he wanted to live in, but now...
Bucephalus whinnied, the sound gently knocking at the door to the new world Victor had just been introduced to.
He emerged, different from who he had been before he had entered it.
“I hope I can borrow some of your courage, for I am to attempt some conquering myself.” Yuuri said softly, determinedly.  
Victor, knowing just who Yuuri intended to conquer, just said, softly, truthfully, “I’m sure no one has the gall to refuse you anything, Beloved. If they do, come and find me, you’ll find that I’m a worthy ally to keep. Now, Let us conduct ourselves so that all men wish to be our friends and all fear to be our enemies.”
Yuuri smiled shyly, and ducking his head, said “Thank you for your support. I will carry it with me as I charge onto my personal battlefield.”
Victor smiled, knowing the moment of truth was very near, and said lightly, “You sound like you’re saying your farewells, Beloved.”
Yuuri looked back with determination and nodded, bowing, “I must take my leave, reluctant as it may be. I hope that you… I wish you the best of health. Be well.”
Victor echoed the farewell, softly, eyes trailing the boy as he walked away, towards the palace.
Victor wondered what Yuuri had been about to say before he changed his mind. He wondered if it meant Yuuri had, just for a moment, wanted to stay in an unquestioning world as well.
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petalouda85 · 6 years
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Koi No Yokan, Chapter 10
This chapter was tedious and I didn't really edit it so please forgive mistakes or if the quality is a bit subpar. Anyway, I had this idea and I would like your thoughts. I realized that were a lot of scenes that I wanted to add that I couldn’t because I couldn’t fit them in or because it spoiled something I didn’t want to be revealed until a certain moment. How would you guys feel about me still writing them out and posting them, kinda like deleted scenes you would find on a DVD? If I do this, they probably won’t go up until after I finish the story.
Side note: all the songs that were mentioned in this chapter are ones you can YouTube, if you’re looking for visuals. Would definitely recommend you watch the song from Devdas, as that movie is the reason Paro exists.
You can also read this on AO3
When he was born, he was cursed. Doomed to die at 18 unless he joined the Dark Side. Snoke is confident but there remains one threat, it coming in the form of a prediction made by one of the Jedi Masters: Ben would meet his true love on his tenth birthday and this elusive individual would be the only one that could awaken Ben from his eternal sleep
Today was Deepavali.
Ben awoke from a nightmare-less to the sound of people walking past his room, all whispering with excitement. He would’ve attempted to sleep a bit more but there was a full day planned and if he fell asleep again, he would be grumpy for the start of the festivities.
Neelam came in not long after to help him with his new outfit. It was a black kurta, the cuffs and the hem decorated with gold thread, and white paijamas and studded sandals; he really looked like Genian royalty. Neelam offered to wrap a turban on his head but Ben declined; the kurta and paijamas was enough already.
Shortly after he was finished dressing, there was a knock on the door, on the side was Reshani.
The little princess was already dressed for the day too, her saree a beautiful dark shade of purple with gold jewelry studded with gems of the same color. In her hand was a gold plate laden with candy.
“Happy Deepavali.” She said with a heavy accent, holding the plate to Ben.
“Thank you.” He said with a smile as he took the plate from her. He looked closer at the candy and recognized some of them from the market the day before. Gulab jamun, jaleebi, ladoo, barfi, kesar peda, agra ka pheta; it was almost too much for one person. He held the door open. “Come in, then we can eat of this candy.”
The girl obviously understood as she dashed in, ignoring the scolding of her handmaiden, and jumped onto the bed, giggling when Ben plunked himself onto the mattress with the same enthusiasm.
Even with Reshani’s limited knowledge of Basic, the two held up a decent conversation, eating the candy with plenty of giggles. Reshani asked many questions about the world outside the shield, Ben indulging her gladly, though also with a hint of sadness as the child could barely name the systems closest to her own planet. Though this could be attributed to her age, Ben suspected that such knowledge was kept from her.
Out of nowhere, Reshani bounced off the bed and ran to a chest that Ben hadn’t even bothered to look at since coming to the planet. She grabbed some rolled up cloth and two small, tied-up sacks.
“What’s that?” Ben asked as he sat up and Reshani began to unroll the cloth, revealing a symmetrical cross with many small squares. She then undid the sacks, the first one spilling 16 wooden pieces divided into four colors and the second spilling six cowries.
“Pachisi.” Reshani answered.
It was a board game. Neelam and Reshani explained the rules to him many times and he began to understand it after some time but he was not good at it. Reshani beat him several times and the one game he was on the verge of winning was interrupted by Reshani’s handmaiden reminding the two of them that the Queen was expecting them soon; they were to go to a puja at the temple.
Reshani grabbed Ben’s hand and began dragging him down the hall towards the meeting point at the entrance of the palace. Paro, the twins, Neela, Sarika and Neerav were already waiting, Sarika looking displeased when Reshani and Ben cane running down the stairs, giggling infectiously.
“How kind of you to join us.” Sarika said sharply, looking directly at Ben while Reshani joined her sisters, “I had hoped that punctuality was a skill taught on Alderaan and the Jedi Temple.”
“Badi-ma!” Paro snapped. Sarika promptly said nothing more, though she continued to glare at Ben. The entourage went out to the line of palanquins waiting for them. The largest would be occupied by Neela, the twins, Reshani, and Ben while Sarika and Paro and Neerav got separate, smaller palanquins. Unlike other palanquins, the ones used today had the curtains that usually blocked the outside view were now replaced by curtains made from a see through fabric. Ben sat closest to the entrance with Reshani across from him and the other girls to his right.  
Once everyone was seated, the entourage headed towards the temple. They were barely out the gate when they were swarmed by people wanting to catch a glimpse of the royal family. They were shouting, waving, throwing flowers at the palanquin and the princesses waved back at them, Reshani waving with the most excitement and Neela waving politely. Ben wasn’t sure if he should wave with them; after all, the people were excited to see them, not him.
A woman approached the palanquin and handed a small white flower to Reshani. The young princess shouted a thank you to the woman as stepped away before taking the small gift and placing it in her hair, adding yet another decoration to it.
The puja at the Temple was odd. Stepping into the place of worship, Ben felt out of place and as though he shouldn’t be there. He didn’t understand anything of this religion nor had anyone tried to explain how the prayers went. Neela attempted to help him through and translate what the priests were saying while Paro actively participated with the rituals but he couldn’t follow it and he was aware that some attendees were staring at him. He got through it somehow.
From the Temple, they headed to the theater and they were once again cheered on by a crowd. Soon, they reached the theater, a line of armed guards keeping the crowd back so the royal family could enter the building with ease. Paro was the last to enter, having stayed behind for a moment to wave at the crowd.
“They really love their Queen.” Ben said, having waited for his friend at the entrance. Paro smiled at him in response. Quickly, they were separated, Paro doing down the hall while Ben and the rest of the group went up the stairs, led by Sarika. Eventually, that group got smaller too as Sarika, Neerav and Reshani were seated separately from Neela, Ben and the twins. The four of them got their own little section, overlooking the theater.
It was very different to other theater Ben had seen. All the theaters he had been too had the audience facing the stage, all in one direction. Here, the stage was circular and in the middle of the room, surrounded by places for guests to sit and a small section reserved for musicians. The topmost level, where Ben and the other were seated, had several private sections along the circumference of the building, likely reserved for more elite guests. He worried for a moment about being able to see the performance but he quickly discovered hand held pads that could magnify the performance and he even saw mirrors strategically placed along the walls that would allow the guests to view the performance from every angle.
“Is it different on Alderaan?” Dipika asked, standing by the railing
“What?” Ben asked.
“Theaters. You look as though you’ve never been to a theater.”
“I have been to a theater.” Ben assured, shuffling closer to the railing, where he could see that Paro was seated in the seat of honor on the lowest level, directly across from the door where the performers would come through. “They’re just set up differently.”
“How different?”
“Well, the stage is on one end of the building and everyone is seated facing that one end.”
“It’s not a circle?” Dipika squealed. “That’s weird.”
“Well, I think this is weird.” Ben pointed out. Dipika only shrugged at that comment, turning around to look at her sisters.
“Which dances do you think they’ll show?” She asked.
“I hope they show dances from Bajirao Mastani.” Dipali responded.
“I’d like to see something from Kisna.” Neela answered.
“What about you, Ben? What dance would you like to see?”
“I don’t know any Genian dances.”
“Any holofilms?”
“None that are Genian.”
“Plays?”
Ben shook his head.
“Then what do you watch on Alderaan?” Dipika seemed utterly in shock. Ben felt shocked too, though not for the same reason; he was baffled how little the child knew about the world beyond the gate of the planet.
“The same things as you?” Ben posited.
Dipika gawked at him.
“They have plays and holofilms, Dipi.” Neela said to her sister. “They just don’t have the same ones as we do.”
The young girl seemed to understand that explanation but to a degree, she looked as confused as before. Thankfully, the lights in the room turned off, marking the beginning of the performance.
It was a spectacle. Ben was entirely in awe at what he witnessed: beautiful costumes made from colors he didn’t even know existed, beautiful décor that he couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams, beautiful choreography that was foreign to him but was perfect for the songs, beautiful music which ranged from songs of love and festivals to songs of victories in battles. It was all in Genian, so he wasn’t able to understand any of it, but Neela’s short translations gave him some sense of what was occurring.
Songs from many different plays and films were performed but only a few had more than one featured. One was a show entitled Bajirao Mastani, a more recent play that was adapted from a story that was thousands of years old.
The first song from that play was Deewani Mastani, which according to Neela, translated approximately to “Crazy Mastani”. In the song, one of the female leads (named Mastani) proclaims that she is crazy in love with Bajirao (the male lead) in front of his wife, Kashibai; such love triangles were a common theme in Genian plays. The second song was Pinga, where Mastani and Kashibai dance together at a festival and Kashi accepts Mastani as her sister wife, though with reluctance.
The last song from the play was a special one. Malhari was a military song, speaking of a recent victory. It was special because allegedly, when hearing that they had defeated the Empire in the Genian Rebellion, Ajit had sung that song and had danced madly to it; the song in the play mimicked that moment of celebration.
The largest spectacle of the night was what happened at the finale. A song from the film Devdas was to be performed, which was a classic but also a favorite of Paro and her family. However, before the song was to begin, Paro was nowhere to be seen. Others in the audience were beginning to notice too, Ben able to feel their worry but no answers were given. At least, not until the music began. There, on the stage, performing the final song with another dancer, was Paro. She had changed out of her bold red sari with the piles of golden jewelry into a sari of light pink, her jewelry still large and plentiful but not nearly as much as before.
Ben was stunned as he watched her dance to Dola Re Dola, his shock coming from not only from this being the first time he had ever seen her dance or ever heard her sing but also from not knowing that she had those talents. When the song came to a close, he was the one clapping the loudest.
“That was amazing!” Ben piped once he had found Paro backstage in a private dressing room, sitting at a vanity and removing the jewelry from her hair with the help from a handmaiden. “I didn’t know you could do that!”
“Well, you never asked.” Paro responded cheekily, taking off an earring and promptly grabbing a tissue to cover the earlobe.
“You okay?”
“I am. My ear is just bleeding a little.” She explained. “I guess I was a little too intense with my dancing.” The two chuckled at that. Eventually, Ben left the room so that Paro could change back into her original outfit.
With the performance finished, they returned to the palace, the entourage hoping to catch a few moments of relaxation before the lighting ceremony began. While Paro went off with Neerav to deal with kingdom business, Ben went back to the room, hoping to sleep a little. That eventually did occur but only after Reshani had coaxed him back into playing Pachisi. It was a short game, due to Reshani falling asleep and Ben fell asleep next to her not long after.
They were roused once the time came for the ceremony to start. Once more, the entourage headed out in palanquins, their destination: the waterfront, a quick peek through the curtains revealing three elaborate royal barges. As before, Reshani went into one barge with her grandmother and Neerav but this time, Ben joined Paro in her own barge, her other sisters going into the third.
“Are you ready?” Paro said once they floated out into the bay, the boatman bringing them to the middle of the bay smoothly and quickly.
“I’m not sure.” Ben answered honestly, leaning back against the pillows while taking a bite of jaleebi. “I’m not sure what to expect.”
“It’s very beautiful. You’ll see.”
They waited silently, watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon, leaving the sky twinkling with starlight. Nothing happened for a moment, but then, near the top of the temple, a flame was lit. Thousands and thousands of lights appeared on the shore, lighting the darkness. Then the water was filled with light, the light provided by countless diyas that were floated onto the vast expanse of the bay with the help of students from Paros’s Jedi order. As the oil lamps were spread across the water, fireworks of red and gold and green and white and purple flew into the air, bringing even more light to a world that had been dark only minutes ago.
Having rarely seen fireworks, Ben’s gaze was glued to the sky, the music in the background and the small diyas tapping against the idea of the bare barely registering in his mind. He was so captivated that he barely felt Paro tapping his shoulder. When he did look, she was smiling and holding up two lit diyas.
“Happy Deepavali.” She said to him, offering him one of the lit lamps.
Returning the smile, Ben took one of the lamps and together, they put them in the water, watching as they joined the other million lights; it was a sight like nothing he had ever seen before. Looking over it all, everything felt perfect and he felt as though the light had truly been victorious over the dark, forever.
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Juleka Couffaine vs. the World
I finally started writing that Julerose Scott Pilgrim AU I was meant to do ages ago!!! Anyway, SOME SEASON 2 SPOILERS. BEWARE.
Also on AO3
Juleka Couffaine did not like parties. There were too many people around everywhere, all chatting and being social, afraid of nothing. How was it so easy for them to talk to each other? Juleka was never very good at talking to anyone, and she knew it. Rather than participating, trying to work her way into a record deal with some famous label like her fellow bandmates were doing, she stood in the corner with a drink and watched everyone through the strands of hair that fell over her face.
This was terrifying. Boring, too, with no one around that she was comfortable enough to talk to.
Why hadn’t she invited Mylène to just come here with her? It might be easier to manage with her friend by her side. Wait, no – girlfriend! She meant girlfriend.
Oh… who was she kidding? She didn’t love Mylène like that. The only reason Juleka had even asked her out in the first place was to distract her mind from the terrible breakup that She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had inflicted on her, however long ago that had been. And to be honest, Mylène probably knew it. The poor girl acted like a comforting friend, always there for her, always a supportive person to vent to. But nothing more. No magical lovey-dovey feelings, no kissing, nothing.
Was it selfish of her to keep stringing Mylène along like this? Maybe it would just be better to end things with her. There was practically nothing to end, anyway. And as terrifying as phone calls were, at least it would get Juleka away from the awkwardness of just standing here at this party, doing nothing but watching people. Wow… who would have thought the day would come where the prospect of breaking up with someone was somehow less daunting than any other option?
Weaving her way through the crowds of mingling partygoers, she took her phone out of her pocket and headed for the door. If she was going to call Mylène up then it would be better to go somewhere quiet or she wouldn’t be able to hear a thing. It was too hot in here anyway. Or was that just because she felt nervous? Or maybe it was the fact that she was dressed head to foot in black, as usual? It was hard to tell sometimes.
She was already at the door when she noticed.
A hint of fragrance. Something floral, enchanting. Like a bouquet of flowers, mixed with a drop of sunlight.
It was only a whiff, but enough to stop her in her tracks. She took her hand off the door handle and turned around, trying to figure out where the scent came from.
Over there. The tiniest sliver of pink just about visible through the swarms of people. For a few seconds the crowds parted, and Juleka’s breath caught in her throat.
Was that… an angel?
It had only been a split-second. Juleka had already forgotten what she was doing. She pushed her way through the people, determined to catch a glimpse of that angel again, just to see, was that really an angel? Who was that?
There she was again. The source of that perfume. An angel with the biggest, brightest blue eyes, a sweet mop of blonde hair, an adorable pink minidress, and a dazzling smile that could light up the night sky itself. Just standing there with what looked like a mug of hot chocolate in hand, leaning against the wall slightly, her head bobbing up and down slightly to the beat of the music.
Closer now, the perfume was stronger. Juleka could not tell exactly what the scent was supposed to be, only that it was something so incredibly unique, so entrancing, so…
The angel’s eyes were beginning to sweep across the room. Juleka quickly turned aside, not wanting to be caught staring. She ducked behind a group of people nearby, hoping that would obscure her enough. She really couldn’t stand people looking at her. Why had she joined a band again?
“Oh hey, there you are Juleka!”
Wheeling around she saw her bandmate Kim heading towards her. Why did he always have to speak so loud?!
“Keep your voice down!” she snapped.
“Jeez, sorry. Anyway, guess what I just got sorted out? The Lucky Charms have officially been entered into the Battle of the Bands! Isn’t that rad?”
“Yeah, awesome.” Juleka took a quick look back at the angel, somewhere behind her, but stopped when she felt her heart speeding up. This was not good.
“Hey, are you okay? I know you don’t like parties and stuff but–”
“What do you know about that girl over there?” Juleka asked, tilting her head a little in the direction of the angel. “The one with the pink dress and the perfume.”
“What, Rose? She just moved here, apparently.”
“Rose…”
So that was the angel’s name. What a pretty name. It suited her, really. A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl.
“Why are you asking?” Kim said.
“Nothing!” Juleka replied hastily. “Nothing. Just… wanted to know.”
“And apparently she’s really nice,” Kim added. “So you’re allowed to go ask her stuff yourself rather than asking me, you know.”
Ugh, why did Kim just never get it? Strangers were strangers, no matter how nice they were.
“She’s too pretty,” Juleka said, after a pause. “It’s… intimidating.”
“Um, don’t you like… have a girlfriend?”
“Not for long,” Juleka muttered, taking her phone back out of her pocket. “And for the record, I’m allowed to find anyone pretty whether I’m in a relationship or not.”
“Wait, are you seriously telling me you’re gonna break up with Mylène just because you saw some cute girl at a party?!”
“What? No!”
Juleka pushed Kim aside and headed for the door again. This had nothing to do with Rose, of course it didn’t. The fact that she saw Rose just before breaking up with Mylène was a coincidence. A somewhat unfortunate coincidence, but a coincidence all the same.
Outside it was so much cooler and quieter, every breath turning into visible dragon mist. Juleka scrolled down to Mylène’s number and took a deep breath. Her finger hovered above the call button.
Should she even do this? Well of course she should, she had made up her mind. But still… she hated phone calls. Hated them with a passion. Any time she heard the phone ring, she’d just freeze up, unable to answer. As for making calls, she tried to avoid that whenever possible. Poor Nathaniel was always having to pick up her slack when it came to booking dentist appointments or haircuts, and he didn’t much like phone calls either.
Mylène knew how much Juleka hated phone calls, right? Knew how anxious it made her. So maybe she wouldn’t mind if Juleka just… texted her instead. Yeah, maybe that would be better. Less likely to totally mess up that way. At least a message could be well thought-out, rather than an incoherent jumbled mess like a phone call would inevitably turn into.
Feeling somewhat more relieved now, Juleka typed up a message onto her phone. Still nerve-wracking, but far less this way. She only freaked out for about two minutes before managing to hit the send button.
And now to turn her phone off and ignore it for the rest of the evening. Mylène’s reaction could wait for tomorrow. Right?
Trying not to think about it too hard, she went back inside. Back into that lame, boring party. Why did parties always have to suck so much…
Oh.
That perfume again.
It was like a magnet. Juleka turned, almost involuntarily, to see Rose still standing there. She still had that precious smile on her face, still tapping her kitten-heel foot to the tune that was currently blasting through the speakers. And still looking absolutely breath-taking.
Before Juleka could even do anything, Rose’s big blue eyes shifted onto her. Those huge, beautiful, angelic eyes. It was like being under a spotlight from heaven.
And now Rose had lifted up one of those slender arms of hers, adorned in an array of colourful bangles, and was waving. Oh-so-gently. Like a royal, blessing her subjects.
For a few seconds Juleka simply could not move. The only thing she could focus on was Rose’s hand, the way it moved back and forth through the air, the rings on her dainty little fingers glinting in the light.
She shook herself out of it and, trying not to seem too flustered, gave a little wave back. Feeling stupid, she also put a little smile on her face. Smiling in public was not something she did often.
Now Rose stopped leaning against the wall. She lifted the mug to her lips and took a quick sip, leaving a thin line of chocolate milk over her coat of pale pink lip gloss, then began walking towards Juleka. Her movements were so smooth, gliding across the floor as if she were on ice. Those eyes were still fixed right on Juleka.
Uh-oh. There was nowhere to run now, was there? It was too late. Rose had come to a stop directly in front of her. She was about a head shorter, even with those small pink heels on.
“I LOVE your hair!”
Rose’s voice was somewhat unexpected. Juleka had thought perhaps it would be soft, smooth, regal. But no – it was bright and bubbly, high-pitched, somewhat reminiscent of a bird chirping. Something about it was just so… endearing? Was that the right word? It was an unconventional kind of beauty, something Juleka had never expected to find attractive. But attractive it was.
Juleka ran a nervous hand through the purple streak that hung in front of her face. Rose liked it?
“Thanks,” she mumbled.
“No problem! It’s really very pretty. Your whole aesthetic is, actually.”
Could this really be happening? From the looks of it, Rose was rather a pastel princess. Cheerful, warm colours with a personality to match. Juleka was the polar opposite of that. Black, purple, more black, perhaps very dark grey on occasion – and quieter than a cemetery. Usually people like Rose wouldn’t exactly be charmed by someone so dreary.
Still, Juleka couldn’t just stand here staring. If Rose was being nice to her, she had to make an effort to be nice back, social anxiety be damned.
“You’re really pretty too,” she said quickly. Then she wanted to hit herself in the face – why had she said that?! That was too obvious! Rose hadn’t called her pretty, Rose had called her aesthetic pretty! There was a difference! And now she probably just seemed like some desperate gay weirdo, jeez, why was she always like this?
Thankfully Rose didn’t seem to care. She giggled a little, her laugh sounding like wind chimes in the breeze. Then she held out that precious little hand of hers. The bangles on her wrist seemed to shimmer a little as they swayed from the movement. It was mesmerizing.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Rose Lavillant.”
Rose Lavillant… that was her full name. It flowed so beautiful off the tongue.
Willing herself to stop trembling, Juleka took Rose’s hand and shook it. A shiver went through her as their hands touched – almost like a burst of static electricity. She let go quickly, feeling her palms becoming oddly sweaty.
“I’m Juleka Couffaine,” she said.
“That’s a really pretty name!”
“Oh, um… thank you…”
“Wait a second, are you one of the Lucky Charms? I was talking to Kim a bit earlier and he was telling me all about your band. It sounds so exciting!”
Kim had already told her about the band? Yikes, that was just a disaster waiting to happen. The Lucky Charms were absolutely terrible. Not only that, but their music style was… well, there was no way someone like Rose would be interested in it, surely.
“It’s fun,” Juleka said finally.
“I would love to hear you play!”
“We suck. A lot.”
Rose giggled again, sending Juleka’s brain into a meltdown. “I have a very open music taste, don’t worry! Anyway, I haven’t been here for that long and I was actually wondering if someone could show me around sometime. How about you?”
Was Rose really asking to hang out with her? They had only just met! But still… the thought of it sent a spike of adrenaline rushing through her blood, so fast she almost felt dizzy…
“Sure.”
“Nice! What’s your number? I’ll give you a call and we can totally hang out!”
Rose reached into the little handbag on her shoulder and pulled out a phone with a rather sparkly case. She handed it to Juleka, who quickly put in her number and then handed it back.
“Thanks! Here, I’ll send you a text, then you’ll have mine too.”
Rose typed something into her phone. Juleka took her own phone out of her pocket and cautiously turned it back on, making sure the volume was off. Sure enough, there were three missed calls from Mylène already and a flood of messages. Juleka ignored those and took a quick look at the message Rose had just sent her.
Here’s my number! xxxxxxx
Seven little kisses? That was so incredibly sweet. Usually things like that used to make Juleka gag, but for some reason when Rose did it, everything felt different.
“Got it,” Juleka said. “Thanks.”
“No problem. I look forward to hanging out with you soon!”
Rose’s final smile was so bright it could outdo the sun. She tucked her phone back into her bag, then gave Juleka one more little wave before turning around and heading towards the kitchen area, perhaps to put that hot chocolate of hers away. The trail of perfume became weaker and weaker the further away she got. Juleka just watched, feeling something burning in her chest.
Oh, drat… she had a crush, didn’t she?
“JULES!”
She snapped out of her daydream to see her bandmates glaring at her. Kim’s living room… oh yes, that was where she was. Not back at that party, like she had been thinking about.
“You only played one note for that entire song!” Kim said.
Song. Right. Band practice. Juleka looked down at the guitar in her arms.
“My hand slipped,” she mumbled.
“Don’t tell me you were fantasizing about that Rose girl again.”
“Of course not,” Juleka lied.
“Then what? Angsting over Mylène? You’ve talked to her since the other night, right?”
“Uh… y-yeah?”
Kim just sighed.
“Okay, I haven’t!” Juleka admitted. “But I will. I swear. I just… need time to prepare.”
“Well you’d better get yourself sorted out soon, or I’ll just get Ivan to play bass instead for the Battle of the Bands. Which starts in two days, may I remind you?”
Juleka glanced towards the sofa to see Ivan sitting there, looking embarrassed at the thought of having to replace her. He gave her what seemed to be an attempt at an encouraging smile.
“I know, I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it. I’m not gonna be happy until we’ve won that competition, okay?”
Obviously. Kim was obsessed with competitions, wasn’t he? It was so annoying.
“Yeah, fine. We’ll win.”
“Not with bandmates like you,” Alix piped up from somewhere behind them, tapping her drumsticks together absent-mindedly. “Juleka, don’t you have a history of getting your personal life all mixed up with band stuff?”
“I’m not going to let it happen this time,” Juleka said firmly. “I’ll talk to Mylène, I swear. I’ll sort everything out. This isn’t going to be like that one time with…”
She trailed off, not daring to say the name of that one girl who had broken her heart. That was all in the past now. Thankfully no one else said the name either.
“And you’ll stop daydreaming about Rose when you’re meant to be focusing?” Kim asked.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Good. Let’s go again then, from the top.”
“So you dumped Mylène,” Nath said, as soon as Juleka walked into the room. He was sitting in an armchair reading a magazine and hadn’t even bothered to look up.
“How do you know about that?” she snapped.
“Because Mylène has called here about seventeen times already, asking to speak to you, and I know perfectly well you’ve been avoiding her. Just like you avoid everything.”
Juleka sighed and threw her bag onto the floor before flopping onto the bed, knowing she was being rather dramatic but not entirely caring. “I can’t talk to her! She probably hates me now!”
“Are we talking about the same Mylène here? The really nice, sweet one who has never hated anyone in her life, ever?”
“Stop being sensible and let me be emo and stupid in peace. Please.”
Her eyes were closed but she could hear Nath standing up, walking over to her, felt him put a comforting hand on her arm.
“Juleka, I’m the emo and stupid one. You’re supposed to be the cool goth one. Please just talk to Mylène. It’ll put your mind at ease.”
Juleka just groaned.
“Alright then, don’t. But I’m telling your brother.”
“What?!” She sat up at top speed. “No no no no no no! Don’t tell Luka!”
“Too late,” Nath muttered, his phone out. “I’m telling him right now.”
“Nath – seriously – I’ll take away your phone–”
“I don’t have a phone,” he said, visibly texting.
Juleka put her head in her hands. “Oh man… well, at least as long as he doesn’t find out about Rose…”
“Ooh, who’s Rose?”
Dang it – that was the problem! She was so open around Nath that she could say anything and everything, and it was always coming back to bite her. Why did she have to bring up Rose? This was why she usually just never spoke, because then she wouldn’t get herself into situations like this…
“Lemme guess,” Nath continued. “This ‘Rose’ is the reason you broke up with Mylène.”
“Of course not! I was going to break up with Mylène anyway!”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
“Seriously Nath, please, just… don’t tell Luka. Don’t.”
Nath finally put his phone down. “Ohhhh, alright. But only as long as you talk to Mylène TODAY. No putting it off any longer.”
“Fine. I’ll do it right now, if that makes you happy.”
Juleka turned her phone back on. She had been keeping it off most of the time, just in case. She was just about to call Mylène when–
“Hey, I have a message from Rose!”
You wanna hang out? I’m free right now! <3
That little heart…
“She sounds like a real cutie,” Nath said, reading the message over Juleka’s shoulder.
“Excuse me Nath, I have to go hang out with Rose,” she said, standing up.
“But weren’t you gonna call Mylène?”
“I’ll do it later!” She picked up her bag again and headed for the door.
“But–”
“Bye, Nath!”
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cryptidaura · 5 years
Text
Character name: Miele
Link to stats page: /s
Character biography: 
i glimpse you —
subreal in the slant of moonlight, the contour of your shape a diaphanous tremor.
i reach out — wanting to caress your soft edges, cup your sighs in the ridge of my knuckles.
yet you wither; pale jasmine smoke and deep aroma of forest after rain, beautiful the way unveilings are.
tldr:
An Abomasnow Tiltas (her name is Miele, and Ginjinka are known as Tiltas) is raised by a convent of Froslass that worship the goddess of death. Said goddess of death is frozen in an egg and in order to sustain her life, everyone in the cult brings her live sacrifices. Miele is raised to protect the convent and bring in sacrifices from off the blizzarding mountain. She does so for over a hundred years.  
Eventually, the goddess gets pissed off by some other god and decides it’s best that Miele goes off to find and deliver this god a very strongly worded letter. Along the way, she meets a Sylveon Tiltas mercenary (half her size, honeybadger type) that specializes in hunting dragons. He used to be part of a gang, but the leader (his best friend) was murdered and he got burned in the process. The person who burned him? Totally related to the god that Miele’s goddess doesn’t like. So they both go hunt this gang leader down and along the way realize that they’re NOT meant to be loners and that they’re both pretty gay and full of unconditional love. That’s a tough pill to swallow, so they spit it out. Besides, it’s too early in the story for any real character development, right?  
Biography : 
Three thousand years ago, a schism was born into the world of Pokemon. That crack? Humanity. Some say they came as a message from an agent of chaos, and others a sign of the changing times. Either way, humans were a test to Pokemon and to the natural world. They evolved quickly and began to shape their world. In their wake however something else was born, something meant to bring balance. This was a creature capable of bridging the gap between people and Pokemon, a creature whose purpose was two things: to prevent humanity from adopting the natural savagery of Pokemon and to prevent Pokemon from too eagerly trusting humanity. Referred to as Pusiau—halflings—by many, these creatures referred to themselves as Tiltas, the bridges. And so they would continue to act in that role even as the history of it died away.  
In the tundra of a land called Butlinge, an egg emerged from a mother it would never know. Soon after, it was brought on the wind to a snowy mountain range to the west. The egg hatched, a seed was planted, and the goddess of death who lived in those mountains became the Mother. The women who followed death became the Sisters, and a labyrinth filled with ghosts became home. It was there that a Tiltas named Miele would live for one hundred years, but she could not feel the passage of time even in her bones.
Miele grew up in a temple built into the mountain, surrounded by a procession of Froslass who dedicated their lives to the Mother. The Mother of snow, of death, of rebirth, a known to others as Yvetal but to them as Blizgulis. Blizgulis--she who glitters--lived amongst them in the deepest parts of their mountain, her entire body frozen with ice. The Froslass spent their days dancing, praying, and gathering sacrifices for Blizgulis off the side of the mountain. After her initial thaw, Miele would be trained in these same arts. She would also learn to fight, to gather, and to disappear on the mountain as if she too were a ghost.
With her evolution, the storms grew stronger and the visitors fewer. But they still came, and they were still captured and bled dry. As a young Snover, she realized very quickly how she differed from her twelve sisters. Unlike Miele, a playful child, these women were the peak image of grace and self-control. Rarely did a hair ever fall out of place, a word misspoke. They were so strong in their devotion to Blizgulis that she easily adopted the same faith. While they were not equipped to raise a child, they did share stories with her to keep her mind engaged. The stories were always wild tales of the outside world acquired from offerings. The room she slept in was line with books she never learned to read because she was told it weakened the mind—instead, those Sisters who could read encouraged her to listen to the stories and memorize them for retellings. Miele spent hours in her room repeating them to herself, acting them out, and daydreaming about the outside. Eventually, she learned them all. Her theatrics were discouraged, but the projection of her voice remained.
When she matured, her primary mission was to help in the gathering of offerings. Though their mountain was rarely traveled, those that did disappear for ritual’s sake left rumors and legends in the towns below.  Soon, legends of a beast with large, purple eyes that only appeared during the deepest blizzard brought vigilantes and skeptics alike, hoping to catch a glimpse or perhaps avenge a dead relative. But the mountain was cursed, even for the warmest fires. The longer you stayed, the more fatigue would set in and eventually, you found yourself lulled to sleep in the arms of a monster. 
Miele always watched the ritual. The offering was bathed in a hot spring, dabbed with special oils, and drowned in sweet scents that rendered them immobile. Then, they were brought to the deepest part of the temple—through a winding labyrinth—and set before the Egg. Four days and nights the Sisters prayed around the offering, and their efforts would progressively create a freeze around its body. Once fully submerged in ice, the offering would be dropped into a bottomless pit. There, the Mother could feast.  
She was never allowed to participate in these rituals herself, so Miele was left to watch in morbid fascination. From what she was told, these people chose their death. They heard Mother’s call and came to heed it. After all, death was just a door, a hallway, a road that led you to another destination. It was an honor she hoped to experience herself one day and felt no pity or sympathy for those who refused to understand it.  
The time came when it was time for Miele to leave. For the first time since her initial thaw, Blizgulis spoke with her, commanded her, and gave her leave to travel the world. She was to search for another god, to strike them down and bring their head to the mountain as an offering. Blizgulis promised that when the time came, she would imbue Miele with her power. As proof of this oath, she gifted her charge with a pendant containing just a fraction of that promise. Through it, they would be eternally linked and Blizgulis could provide guidance at any point that it was needed. Miele accepted the task with enthusiasm.
The mountain’s downward trek was simple. Armed with what she’d committed to memory over the years, Miele was confident she’d be prepared for the world she’d daydreamed of a hundred years. The Pokemon were hostile and provided a decent source of food. Her journey was slow but steady, the only hang-up a pervasive feeling that she was being watched the entire time. Eventually, she found out why: a tribe of Abomasnow lived near the foot of the mountain. She’d never come across them before this, but they’d apparently known about her the entire time. With tears in their eyes they explained that in exchange for their storms on this mountain, the Goddess promised them a safe place. They were proud of her contribution which had helped to keep them hidden. They dressed her up in Snowflowers and formally initiated her into their tribe. Miele found herself confused during the entire ordeal.
They knew she couldn’t stay for long but offered her a place to live when she returned from her honorable journey.  Though Miele had often wondered what it’d be like living amongst her own kind, she couldn’t help but feel out of place. With that mood ruminating Miele left, bewildered and endeared by the lumbering and aggressive Pokemon that were nothing like her sisters. Eventually she reached the bottom, slipped past the blizzard barrier, and saw sunlight for the very first time.
Miele traveled for three months, absorbing a society she’d only experienced in outdated stories. Technology and Pokemon integration were fascinating but it was more common to be met with some suspicion. Ice type Pokemon and Tiltas alike were not known to travel amongst other types—it happened rarely and it’s usually assumed that something was wrong with the visitor. Because of this, modern society was not geared towards their needs and sensitivities, and technology did not accommodate them. Being a grass Type Miele faired better with sunlight than some of her counterparts, but she still found it more uncomfortable than not. She also became sick with strange illnesses and was forced to spend what little money she had on inns for recovery. Miele never felt her life would be threatened by these maladies; awful and annoying though they were, she decided to treat them as learning experiences. These afflictions were worse in areas with more buildings and dirtier air. There were even times she felt she couldn’t breathe.
Eventually, Miele began to travel only at night.
Since departing, Miele received no guidance from the Mother. The road and guidance she followed were vague, with no determined location or direction. The being she sought was a god of many names: Veles the Veil, Benec the Trickster, Volos the Woolen. He supposedly lived in a lavish kingdom, but no matter how far she went Miele couldn’t find a lead for such a place. There were only towns and villages, cities and ghost towns. But then she learned of a secret world, one most active at night, and Miele began to reframe what the word Kingdom might mean. It was not a kingdom at all, but an entire network of Kingdoms. She just had to find the most lavish one and kill the king
The criminal underworld was a place she stumbled upon by accident, but she somehow slipped and fit into more easily than the one she’d just left. It was through a Tiltas named Laima that she integrated, a Gourgeist informant who happened to take a liking to her size and demeanor. Miele was upfront with her origin and needs: only the location of the Mother need be kept secret, not her name. Laima found her tale skeptical but interesting. She offered a name, knowing good and well that it was a deathwish to pursue and told Miele as much.
That warning fell on deaf ears.
They shared a night together, and Miele departed the next night to follow her first lead since leaving the mountain. It brought her four cities and three weeks’ travel away. A man named Silva supposedly had intimate knowledge of this so-called king. He was not easily found, and when they finally met Miele dug her nails into him and refused to let go. He was a mercenary, another Tiltas that had long since expunged from the Underworld thanks to the lead in question. He was hesitant at first until Miele explained her intentions, to locate and kill this king to bring out the God he consorted with. As luck would have it Silva had his own debt to settle with Veles’ consort and with that, they began to travel together.  
Personality:
Miele doesn’t do well in the first impression department. Though her height could provide an air of regality, her naturally bad posture in combination tends to give others a feeling of unease. She spent many years trying to correct it, but with some bitterness accepted her fate. Her alignment is neutral. She does what she wants, when she wants, with the exception of anything in relation to the Mother. This is likely due to how she was raised, away from humans and even others like her. Growing up, her only contacts were the Froslass, the Mother, and the wild Pokemon that inhabited her mountain. What she says and does is rarely with ill will but being opportunistic, she generally has no issues lying or taking advantage of a situation if there appear to be no strings attached. If made to see that her actions have hurt someone Miele may apologize, but at the very least she tries to learn from it and not do it again. This proves true even if she can’t understand the reasoning behind that hurt, viewing that as unimportant. She is blunt, has the potential to be stubborn, but generally prefers to go with the flow.
Though her talented poker face hides it well, Miele is actually fairly timid when it comes to physical conflict. It may be due in part to this that she keeps an emotional distance and rarely takes on traveling companions. She is deeply aware of her weaknesses and if presented with the opportunity, will use her skills to flee. Miele may even go as far as to incapacitate her traveling companions if they intend to fight a battle she’s decided is too perilous. When backed into a corner, however, she is not without a sharp and lasting bite.
If you wanted to take her out on a fun eating excursion, ignore fancy restaurants. Take her to an eating contest or a food challenge where the most disgusting grub is available and watch her demolish the competition. Though she generally sticks to a vegetarian diet, she takes sneering pride in her ability to eat what scares others–nothing is off the table. On a similar note, her long sleeves have pockets of snacks and she can’t go very long without eating (not happily, at least). Though not as aggressive the stereotype, Miele can become incredibly grumpy and even belligerent when she’s hungry. She’s even willing to take food from vendors if necessary if only to get her head back in the right place. Afterward, if they haven’t been scared away, she’ll generally pay them. Miele also becomes unwelcoming if the weather is too hot.
In her world, Tiltas are the middle ground between humanity and Pokemon. Though able to understand the language and perspectives of both, their appearance and abilities fall on a spectrum rather than a portraying a perfect balance. This causes some to look like one more than the other and sometimes even to have more or fewer skills native to their more feral counterparts. Miele may pass for human, but it’s in appearance only. To the touch her skin is frigid and firm, with wood-like flesh and bone just beneath. Her aura gives the distinct impression of a monster in disguise, which prompts many humans and even fellow Tiltas to mistrust her. While her speech is passable, heightened emotion can illicit low guttural noises (indications of apprehension) and clicking her teeth together (a sign of aggression) in lieu of more human communication. Her sight and hearing are decent in comparison to her human counterparts, but her sense of smell could rival almost any canine sevenfold. She travels upright or on all fours depending on her mood, with a gait sometimes compared to Beartic. Though not the quickest in either state, Miele is faster than many humans while traveling on all fours.  
Miele is also diurnal, but since leaving her mountain often finds herself traveling at night for the sake of convenience. After all, under the full moon there’s no sun--and more importantly no one to monitor their dumpsters. Having grown up in a place where food was scarce, she’s willing to get it any way she can.  Continuous snacking helps to maintain her body weight especially during the winter months. During the spring she will eat a little less and focus more on gathering what she can.
Growing up with a group of Pokemon and Tiltas that were nothing like her, Miele’s admiration of her Sisters sometimes mixed with envy. Many of her mannerisms are a long-term attempt to mimic their grace and she may be one of the few Abomasnow (Tiltas or otherwise) that can fluidly dance. She also picks up her often-detached demeanor from watching them rather than experiencing any active emotional suppression. They only displayed certain emotions and she sought to emulate this control rather than asking too many questions. As her Sisters were ghosts and uninterested in the mortal world, she picked up several traits from them and their caretaking style: lack of empathy and social awareness, being blunt to a fault, the ability to lie with ease, and placing The Mother and her convent over all other things.
Abilities:
Growth: Her body is primarily tree, bones and all. Thanks to that, Miele is able to grow wooden weapons and tools from her shoulders and back for detachment and use. This ability is painful, however, and very limited if she wants to remain suited for battle. At most she may draw out a parasol for sun protection or a Wood Hammer for combat. These items are not impervious to breaking, burning, or rotting if she does not return them to her body in a timely fashion.
Snow Warning: a passive effect. Miele is able to summon a blizzard varying in size based on the temperature. If the weather is cold, her blizzard takes up more space. If it’s warm, it covers enough space that she can hide, akin to a smoke screen. Unless someone has strong vision, it is almost impossible to see through this blizzard. It also utilizes silver shards, which cause faint but ongoing damage to anyone without a cold resistance.
Wood Hammer: Her massive body petrifies and she body-slams the enemy with the force of a concrete block. It’s an attack that hurts her as well: she will generally retain 1/3rd of the damage dealt to an enemy. Miele is also capable of creating smaller hammers out of her body that do not have the same recoil but deal significantly less damage.
Giga Drain: A skill she learned from watching her Froslass sisters drain the life of sacrifices. Miele’s limbs change into roots that coil around a victim and drain them of their life force. It’s also possible to force her limbs into the ground and have them come up as roots to secure her victim. This draining takes a significant amount of time to complete, and unless she intends to kill her target Miele will rarely try to hold them long enough to be fatal. The sensation leaves the target with a fatigue that varies based on the amount of time they’re arrested. In order to recover, a snack or a full-course meal will generally do the trick.
Swords Dance: A ritual dance that increases the force of her physical attacks. Ghost-like swords appear above her body and petrify her bones into a denser form. This assists in her attacking power however, and not in her defense. Her body will still be pervious to its typical weaknesses.  
Grass Whistle: With a pan flute she pulls from her flesh, Miele is able to put a target to sleep if they’re susceptible and within earshot. It is most often paired with Snow Warning in order to hide her location. She can also play the flute for fun with no sleep-inducing effect.  
Earthquake: Miele can part the earth a short distance. This can be used to deliver a devastating hit, but is more often used as a diversion for escaping. This attack takes a fair toll on her body and cannot be used in rapid succession.
Sense of smell: Abomasnow are amongst the best trackers in the Pokemon world, able to smell wounded prey up to 40 miles (64km) away even in the densest of blizzards. Miele was able to develop this sense of smell by tracking offerings for the Mother—her record thus far is detecting a human child up to 20 miles (32 km) away.
Weapons/important items:
Focus Sash: An item bestowed by her goddess. If dealt a mortal blow, instead of dying Miele is reduced to her evergreen state: Snover. Her body contorts into that of a child of about four years old. To regain her adulthood, a special meal must be prepared and eaten. She is by no means impervious to death while in this state, and will shift to a focus on escape. Miele will retain her abilities, weakened to a third of their original strength, with the exception of Earthquake and her sense of smell. She loses the ability to split the earth completely, but her sense of smell remains at full strength.  
Life Orb: A brooch she keeps at all times that keeps her telepathically connected to the Mother. Blizgulis can speak to her through it and give her guidance; if unlocked, it also sucks some of her life force to enhance her power. Though it has never happened, she may be pressed to Mega Evolve if the stakes are high enough. This transformation would be mysterious and she’s told incredibly painful. The Mother only allows it if it tends her will and would rather Miele die than bestow such a chaotic power.
—-
OOC contact and your name:
litany, @lietoova
Other characters in Isola:
naruto uzumaki
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sophcaro · 7 years
Text
Destiny | WMatsui - Chapter 16
Osaka.
Rena lifted the curtain to take a curious peek outside, admiring the city from the view of her hotel room. When was the last time she had been to Osaka? Ah yes, a few years ago, Rena recalled progressively. It was a very distant memory, and she unfortunately didn’t have time to really visit the city, engrossed by her work as member of SKE. Would she this time be able to appreciate the city a little more? Or was she forever fated to only catch a glimpse of it through the window of a taxi?
In Kyoto, she certainly didn’t have the luxury of enjoying the wonders of Japan’s old capital, considering her time was mostly divided between her hotel room and the shooting location. Jurina’s unexpected visit during her birthday had been a real breath of fresh air. She wasn’t supposed to spend more than a month in Osaka, but she secretly hoped circumstances would allow her to have a little freer time.
The older Matsui turned on her heels, gazing back at the script waiting for her on the small table. Reducing the distance, she pulled a chair and took a seat, soon turning the first pages to review her notes carefully. In little less than an hour, she was expected in the director’s office to discuss a few matters regarding her role.
She hadn’t signed the contract yet, but it was only a formality. She wanted to be part of that project, and only a couple of things needed to be cleared before she could officially accept. After finishing going through the script one last time she diverted her attention to her phone, wondering what Jurina was up to this morning.
Grabbing the device, she texted her girlfriend to inform her of her imminent appointment with the movie director, and that she would tell her how it went afterwards. Once the message was sent she shut her phone, not wishing to take the risk of having it ring later during the important meeting.
Matsumoto-san was quite an enthusiastic 40 years old director, Rena discovered when she entered his office a while later. Indeed, she was barely seated that compliments came one after another, the man having evidently enjoyed very much her performance on Destiny. In fact, the director wasn’t shy in admitting that he immediately had her in mind when the script fell into his hands. Rena was more than surprised to hear that, but also felt deeply touched.
After that, they went over a few matters regarding the script, and the director quickly managed to put her at ease. Her mind was already made when she left his office, and she parted with the director. Not only had he kindly replied to all her questions and successfully managed to alleviate a few doubts she still had, she found the role truly interesting. She couldn’t think of one good reason to refuse it.
To be honest, she had missed acting these last four months. Of course, she had enjoyed spending time by Jurina’s side, and she didn’t regret her decision to stay in Nagoya. However, there was no denying she was truly at her happiest when she was in front of a camera. Shooting commercials, doing photoshoots or participating to television programs were activities she didn’t mind, but nothing was more exhilarating than putting herself into a character’s shoes. With that new role, she was able to demonstrate her talents again, even though she sensed no role would ever be able to match her previous great experience on the shooting of Destiny.
It was past noon when she took the direction of her hotel, her first instinct being to switch her phone on when she found herself in the taxi. She didn’t think too much of it when her previous message hadn’t received a reply yet, figuring Jurina must have been very busy all morning. She sent her a short text to inform her she would sign the contract tomorrow, and would give her more information once she would know more about the exact duration of the shooting.
On her way back to the hotel she noticed a few restaurants, and briefly considered going out for lunch. She had the entire afternoon free; there was no rush. In the end, she disregarded this idea, opting instead for simple room service in her quiet hotel room.
As soon as she closed the hotel room’s door and removed her coat, the sound of her phone ringing distracted her. Believing it was Jurina calling her back she immediately grabbed her phone, before realizing her prediction was all wrong by her best friend’s name flashing on the screen. The last time she had been in touch with Airi was last week, when they went out to a restaurant in Nagoya for a casual dinner between friends.
“Hi, Rena…” Airi’s voice sounded as soon as she picked up.
“Hello Airin,” Rena replied enthusiastically, making herself comfortable on the bed. “I’ve arrived yesterday evening in Osaka. The meeting with the director went very well. I’m signing the contract tomorrow.”
Rena expected her friend to congratulate her, but to her surprise her announcement was received with nothing but complete silence. The older Matsui frowned, wondering why her best friend was not saying anything. Now that she thought about it, she seemed a bit tense when she picked up a few seconds ago. “Airin? Are you alright?”
When her question didn’t receive any reply, the older Matsui immediately grew concerned, fearing her friend may have received some bad news recently. Had her contract with Weekly Shonen Jump not been renewed? For a little more than a year now, Airi had been drawing a weekly comic strip for the magazine, and it still hadn’t been confirmed whether they would renew her contract or not.
Rena could see that her friend was a little stressed about it when they met at a restaurant last week. Airi enjoyed working on that comic strip, and it had been well received by readers. However, Rena was well aware nothing was set in stone when it came to this business. A change in the editorial line. A preference for another artist. No matter how hardworking you proved to be, you were never immune to a sudden replacement.
“I’m fine. I was calling to see how you were doing…” Airi’s hesitant voice finally broke the silence. “But now, I can see you still don’t know what happened.”
“I’m sorry?” Rena was more than confused by her friend’s enigmatic words. Until now, she believed the matter to be related to her friend’s work, but it appeared she had been completely off-track. Why was she asking her if she was fine? What was she supposed to know that she apparently ignored?
“Something… something happened this morning,” Airi started to explain, but couldn’t find the strength in her to continue. “I can’t believe I’m the one announcing you such a thing. It shouldn’t be me. It… It can’t be me.”
There was a pause at the end of the line, and Rena’s perplexity increased a notch. Just as she was about to her ask further explanations she received a double call, and noted her agent was trying to reach her. She pondered putting Airi on hold for a brief moment to discover what her agent wanted, before figuring out she probably wished to talk about the signing of the new contract, and therefore concluded their conversation could wait.
Airi, on the contrary, couldn’t. She was behaving way too oddly for her liking, and was manifestly on the verge of sharing something very important with her. Rena found herself torn between her wish to know more about it, and the fear it was something serious. When was the last time Airi had acted so nervous with her? Ah yes, when she confessed her feelings two years ago.
“You’re starting to scare me a little,” Rena admitted, when her friend remained desperately silent. Airi was one of the persons she trusted the most in this world, and she certainly had confided in her more than with anyone else. Whatever the issue may be, she shouldn’t be so afraid to tell her. “Tell me what happened.”
“Rena…” The older Matsui felt apprehensive when her friend uttered her name so hesitantly. She had not a clue what she was having so much difficulty to announce, but a little voice inside her head was starting to tell her it couldn’t be very good for Airi to be beating about the bush in such an unusual way. “This morning, an article about Jurina and you came out. Bunshun… they took pictures.”
Rena froze instantly. For Airi’s tone to be so serious, she deduced it couldn’t just be innocent pictures of them hanging out. Not only Jurina and her never held hands in public, they even less kissed out in the open. For them to be featured in the magazine famous for creating scandals, it had to be something more explicit.
Last evening’s incident came to the forefront of her mind, when she had parted ways with Jurina and the latter had kissed her out of impulse. The moment had been quickly forgotten and she had relaxed almost immediately, persuaded no one had witnessed such an intimate scene. Now, Airi’s words were making her fear a paparazzi may had taken advantage of the dark to hinder his presence and take compromising pictures.
“What… what do the pictures show?” Rena asked tentatively. Maybe it was wishful thinking on her behalf, but a part of her still somehow hoped they had only been caught embracing each other, and the pictures didn’t show more than a few kisses on the cheek.
“I wish I could tell you the pictures are blurry or that we don’t recognize you well but…” Airi’s discomfort was now very palpable across the phone, “both your faces are very clear. We see you kissing… intimately.”
Rena’s heart stopped. In the distance, she could vaguely hear her friend apologizing for bringing such bad news, but she was totally incapable of formulating a single word right now. Bunshun had just exposed them, and she was not naïve enough to believe they could get away with it easily. Even though it was too soon to know the extent of the damage done, there would be evident consequences.
“Jurina,” Rena whispered, widening her eyes when she realized in terror the terrible repercussions on her career as an idol. Whatever the possible consequences may be on her own career, she wasn’t an idol anymore. Yes, she was still viewed as a former idol in the eyes of many, and her fan basis was mainly composed of people who followed her when she was still a member of SKE. However, her official status had nevertheless changed when she graduated. If she wanted to date anyone, she was – technically - completely free to do so.
Jurina, on the contrary, was not.  
“I’m sorry, but I have to hang up,” Rena said, now fearing that if Airi had heard about the pictures, then the younger girl had been informed about it too. She needed to get in touch with her, and fast. “I need to contact Jurina.”
“I understand,” Airi replied slowly. “I’m very sorry to be the one announcing you this. I thought you already knew, that’s why I was calling you. I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I know, and please stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong,” Rena tried to reassure her, sensing her friend was still feeling embarrassed and a little guilty about it. “I’ll talk to you soon. I promise.”
As soon as they hang up, Rena tried to compose herself as best as she could to think about her next move with a clear head. She knew she needed to call Jurina, but she was still having difficulty accepting what had happened. For two years, they had been very careful in public, and made sure only a few selected friends knew about the true nature of their relationship.
A few times, she had feared of losing Jurina’s affection, especially when she took the decision to graduate and the younger girl had not taken it very well. But being discovered? Never did the thought really cross her mind. They were cautious, very cautious. And one small, stupid mistake had been enough to turn their lives upside down.
“Wait. I was followed…” Rena murmured, now coming to a sudden realization. In Kyoto, Bunshun had taken pictures of Yosuke and her, using the pretext of an innocent dinner between colleagues to spread the foolish rumor that they were dating. At the time, she hadn’t been really concerned by it, and successfully put an end to the false rumor through a brief tweet.  
Much as the matter was quickly forgotten, it appeared the magazine had refused to concede defeat. After Kyoto, they had kept targeting her, in search of a juicy scoop. This time, Rena had the bad feeling the issue wouldn’t be solved so easily. If pictures were really as explicit as Airi indicated, then she had no idea how she was going to pass it as a simple, friendly encounter with the ace of SKE.
The last thing Rena wanted was to see the object of the scandal, but she knew she had no choice if she wished to assess the situation properly. She realized how truly severe it was when she accessed her Twitter account, and saw it flooded with hundreds of messages. Rumor. Pictures. Jurina. Those were the words that were repeated the most as she scrolled down. After reading a few of them, she discovered opinion seemed divided, between those who believed it was a false rumor, and others questioning the nature of her relationship with the younger Matsui.
After a little while she couldn’t take it anymore, refusing to read any longer people debating her private life with such ease, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Remembering her primary objective, she went in search of the infamous pictures, finding them unfortunately quite easily. She felt more than apprehensive when she slid down her screen to access them, completely discouraged when she realized Airi had not exaggerated. Not only you could recognize their faces despite the obscurity, they were seen kissing on one of the pictures.
Taking a better look at the pictures, she tried to figure out from where the paparazzi could possibly have taken them, before quickly giving up. Why did it matter anyway? The harm was already done. Three pictures had been taken, and one of them was definitely not innocent. Rena was conscious she would need at some point to elaborate a strategy regarding the best way to address the scandal, but she was currently incapable of clear thinking.  
The pictures vanished from her screen as she exited her Twitter account, and decided to call Jurina next. After dialing her number, she pressed the phone against her ear, still completely in the dark whether Jurina knew of the article or not. If not, then it would be very tricky to announce such a terrible thing on the phone. If she already knew, then she would have to reassure her enough to make sure her girlfriend didn’t give in to panic and take any rash decision.  
Rena waited, but the younger girl never picked up. For an instant, she thought about leaving a message about it on the voicemail, before quickly thinking against it. She needed to talk to her verbally. That’s why she opted instead for a simple, brief message, asking her calmly to call her back.
As she placed the phone onto her lap, she realized there was another important issue she needed to deal with. Tomorrow, she was supposed to sign the contract, and was expected on the shooting location at the end of the week. In the light of the recent events, the older Matsui knew she needed the reconsider her plans.  
Whether Jurina was already aware of the article or not, one thing was certain; she couldn’t let her deal with the consequences alone. SKE was already going through a rough path, and there was no doubt those pictures were not going to improve the group’s situation in the least. It wasn’t Jurina who was targeted by the magazine in the first place, but she was now involved just as much.
Staying in Osaka for a month and keep on with the shooting as originally planned was now unconceivable. Rena knew she would need to inform her agent about her sudden change of plans, but decided it could wait a few more hours. Rena stood up from the bed, walking decidedly towards her suitcase. It didn’t take very long to gather the few things scattered around the room, and she closed her suitcase once she was done. Right now, she had one goal in mind, and that was catching the next Shinkansen leaving for Nagoya.
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