#butter is 7 bucks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eganeyes · 8 days

Text

indulgent domestic modern!au clegan headcanons for the soul:

they're both really good in the kitchen!! i see them both as well functioning adults ngl so they both do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc working together like a well oiled machine.

bucky's more of the savory cook out of the two of them—I've been so into tinned fish talk on tiktok lately and been busy imagining this man just doing easy recipes for dinner and lunches. he likes making donburi, the air-fryer is his best friend, a risotto recipe he stole from benny's mom, wine marinated steaks, etc. he's the type to have to be in action to be calm so it's pretty common to see him running around the kitchen doing like six things at once.

buck's more of a baker, he has a sourdough starter on the counter and in the refrigerator bucky stays far, far away from. he makes the bread bucky uses for avocado toast breakfasts, cupcakes he shares liberally, dog friendly peanut butter cookies he made specifically for meatball, etc. rolling and smacking thick dough is like a stress reliever for him, so nearing the anniversary of him finally leaving his childhood house, the oven is on near 24/7 and the entire house smells like a bakery. everyone pops by now and then to take home some of the overload of baked goods and offer distraction in the form of chaos—at first by bucky's invitation but nowadays it's like an unwritten yearly calendar thing.

buck's usually in charge of breakfast. he makes fluffy pancakes more often than not, scrambled eggs on toast, always has two coffee pots ready for each of them because they go through it like its water. brady has made some very pointed suggestions on their kidneys, especially bucky's, but gets called out right back on the actual tobacco pipe he still smokes with in this day and age. if bucky wakes up earlier, he makes them avocado toast because he tried it at this hipster cafe as a joke but it's really not a joke anymore now.

they're both morning people it's revolting. when curt stays over he makes it very clear he won't be up before 9 the earliest and fuck them both if they try anything to actually wake him up. they wake him up. there's a guest room that may as well be curt's and his clothes are folded neatly in the dresser.

buck likes cantaloupe, so bucky regularly cuts up the fruit and packs them into lunch boxes for him.

brady shares the same birthday as meatball. so every year without fail, aside from his actual cake, bucky gets an extra plain cake with meatball printed on it with the words happy birthday meatball!! in large letters and a tiny (and brady) under it.

two of the shelves displayed in their house is just full of tchotchkes from all over the world from their adventures. yes there is concerning amount of unicorn statues. buck always looks moderately pained when someone asks about it. among them is a rock that tripped bucky up one random hike and somehow caused him to fall of cliff and get stuck in an outcropping of rocks. air rescue had to be called and he was an absolute nightmare of a broken ankle patient. again, buck always looks moderately pained when somebody asks about it.

they're hemming and hawing over getting a dog which the others find absolutely bewildering and when asked about it they both say its like cheating on meatball, which makes zero sense because the dog is benny's do not even think of stealing him cleven i swear—

they do get a dog from the shelter though!! they get a beagle. no really the dog is literally the bane of their existence they just had to choose the most exuberant 5yo dog with a powdered sugar face that's literally the antithesis of meatball. they name him tomato. benny despairs on how his dog isn't even really just his.

obsessed with the thought of them building their house by themselves like grey's anatomy's derek no hear me out architect!blakely helping them design the house and they have an open plan design which i kind of hate but the image of buck cooking in the kitchen yelling at bucky who's got his feet up on the coffee table oh

they go on these planned little adventures for dates and one of said plans is doing a pilates class together. hear me out: they both suck at it 😭. an hour in and bucky is literally stuck on the machine terrified of moving, he has cramps in muscles he didn't even know could get cramps. he looks to the left and buck is flat on the ground unmoving. they sign up for another class but bring curt into it thinking it'd be hilarious but no curt becomes the instructor's favorite within minutes. they sign up for another class in protest and bring brady and nearly kill the guy from sheer anger. their competitive asses work overtime and somehow end up getting instructor certificates just to prove they could.

the day they discover kahoot is honestly a mistake because when they host get togethers they do little presentations on what they've been doing since they last met and do full on kahoot quizzes and several expensive glasses are sacrificed for the worser worse. 'what was the shirt color of the lady photobombing us in that beach selfie?' and dougie straight up lobs his phone at bucky's face.

some extra casually possessive clegan hcs:

passenger princess buck with bucky's hand always casually draped over buck's closest thigh, absentmindedly playing with the inseam of his pants when they hit a red light

or: buck laying a hand on bucky's thigh to calm him down when some asshole cuts them off, or when bucky starts going past the speed limit, or just for comfort during a long drive

sitting thigh to thigh during breakfast/lunch/in the bar, sometimes even overlapping, buck's arm always around the back of bucky's chair

when they're sitting on high stools, bucky's leg is always propped up on buck's footrest

buck sitting on the only high stool available, bucky leaning by his side with an arm tucked around his hip

this pose of dua/callum insanity. squinting down on a tourist map of madrid for a random trip together, bucky's arms around buck with their heads bent trying to read tiny spanish lettering under the overbearing sun, buck tucking his hand into bucky's backpocket and tugging him closer like that'll help them find their hotel easier

some vacation fun: actually from this post I've added a few to and had brainworms on

the buckies go on a 7 day trip to somewhere with beaches and resorts and spa days and fruity little drinks with tiny little umbrellas and tell literally 0 people. they get ambushed on day 4 anyway.

in every beach outing thing, there has got to be a scene where they do each others' sunscreen. doing buck's, bucky purposefully leaves some parts of his skin unsuncreened on his back spelling out 'I SUCK' with an arrow pointing down to his ass. thankfully buck's blessed with perfect golden skin so he doesnt sunburn like at all.

buck brings a whole rack of books to read while sun tanning, a cute little folded table, cooler, bright towels for mats, and a rented umbrella setting up his downtime perfectly.

bucky leaves him to it for the first two hours because he loves the man: he goes to play beach volleyball with some random people he charms within minutes, saves a kid's sandcastle from being eaten by the waves and somehow ropes the kid and 4 other random children to build a giant fortress with a moat, accidentally step on a few crabs, takes hundreds of pics with other random tourists for some strange reason (they think he's a movie star and he does nothing to dissuade that), does karaoke near the beach bar with several equally enthusiastic drunk people, and pets every dog in his vicinity. he acquires exactly 9 numbers despite telling people he's very much taken, several insider local attractions added to his knowledge, and finds out the dirty sordid underground clubs in the area. all within 2 hours.

he comes trotting back to buck without a single hit to his stamina, and finally starts lobbying for a jet ski race.

in the two hours he was gone, bucky had flirted heavily with the jet ski rental managers, and rented 2 jet skis with a discount he refused and without an actual boating license but he's like really persuasive guys you don't get it. they do know how to ride it though because they're the kind of couple with a terrifying amount of qualifications in their CVs.

buck pretending not to be as competitive as his partner and hemming and hawing about going on the jet ski but the minute the race is on their trash talking gets so loud beach security has to stop by to calm them down.

buck leaves bucky with their kit to get some ice cream and comes back to bucky lounging on the mat. without pause, he kicks up sand directly on top of bucky and buries the man within minutes without giving the man the chance to defend himself from buck's onslaught.

buck sends the 100bg gc a pic of bucky buried under the sand with a coke right beside his head and a straw poking out straight to his mouth for easy access and it becomes the gcs new pfp.

the boys trace their location within days and on day 4 of their vacation they get ambushed in their hotel room and it turns into a big outing. jack scoffs at the buckies' itinerary and types out a new one for their entire group.

#a no pain day <3 #gathered all my eggs in one post so i could be done with them #mota #masters of the air #buck cleven #bucky egan #clegan #buck x bucky #mota headcanons #mota hcs #mota modern!au #just indulgence honestly #curt biddick #benny demarco #john brady #james douglass #jack kidd #this is literally just for me im sorry 😭#eganeyes

71 notes · View notes

qtkat · 11 months

Text

being eric cartman’s babysitter would include…

gender: female she/her (being referred to as a girl, as well)

warnings: use of y/n (I KNOW OKAY)

request: nope

a/n: thank you all so much for the likes and reblogs on my first post! i appreciate more than you’d think haha. these headcanons are set when you’ve been his babysitter for a while now, and are based on actually liking you, since i love the mother/older sister figure and eric dynamic (and also i don’t think there’d be much to write about if eric hated you, other than if it’s an enemies to friends i guess lol). also if you want these type of hcs for any of the others just lmk! also wanted to lyk i was fucking smacked writing this, so if there’s any mistakes tell me and i’ll fix them.

- eric dragging you along with him everywhere

- like genuinely dragging you by the wrist and booking it type

- he’s probably tried to take you to school with him

- the bell rings when you were just done getting ready for school and he’s just standing there like ‘ 😃 ‘

- you’re just staring back at him confused

- after a while he’s like “well, are you gonna put on your jacket?”

- FULLY SERIOUS

- and you’re like “what”

- and he just sighs, head down, pinching his nose, “jesus y/n, just puT THE DAMN COAT ON.” (squealing like a little piggy btw)

- “christ, okay - okay.”

- you have one arm in as you’re dragged down the path leading up to your house

- he forced you to drive and you were honestly so disoriented you just did it

- he marches into school, jaw locked dude 😭😭

- everyone is staring, like mr mackey fully stopped in his tracks but didn’t say anything

- mr garrison is so confused bro 😭

- “eric!”

- “yeees” (aka yiiiis)

- “why did you bring a teenage girl with you to school?!!!??”

- ofc you had to leave, because duh??

- don’t worry too much though, the little gremlin made your exit very dramatic

- full on screaming punching the ground at you slowly back away

- i read once about eric dragging out your name like he does his moms, and he does that here too

- has probably accidentally called you mom once (we don’t talk about that)

- you guys have sleepovers

- it’s actually so cute, whenever you’re set to come to his house he gets so excited

- like he’s so hyper the whole day of the sleepover

- his mother is not to disturb

- you improvise stories about clyde frog for him all night, setting up a theater with the plushie in hand

- now presenting: eric and clyde frog go to space

- .. -or the wild west, taking over the world, etc.

- he always opens up to you so much at these sleepovers

- like just fully starts telling you about how hard he has it without a dad

- has cried in your arms multiple times (we don’t talk about that)

- you were so there during the stick of truth

- you’re like an alchemist or a red mage (or a combination, if they’ll allow that)

- this is how you formally meet the other boys

- they like you, even though they didn’t really talk with you too much

- i think it’s pretty obvious to everyone eric is a jealous person, so he wouldn’t like sharing your attention much (hence you not really talking to the other boys)

- if you ever need to go away for an extended amount of time he will freak

- tries to manipulate you into staying like how he did his mom in the real estate episode

- also you better hope he’s the only kid you’re babysitting

- oh boy if he finds out you’re babysitting, like, butters or something he would throw a fit

- i swear

- so in conclusion you have gained 10 extra bucks an hour and a child making you hang out with him 24/7

- you guys have a sweet relationship

#south park #sp eric #eric cartman #sp cartman #south park x reader #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x you #south park fanfiction #eric cartman fanfiction #qtkat writes

156 notes · View notes

spidey-bie · 8 months

Text

I went to the fair yesterday. I have more fair thoughts with Hobie (Jay what about the depression fic....it's coming I swear 🥲)

Warnings: Food. I tried with his accent again....

You will feed this man so many fatty fair foods that it'll send a shock to his British palatte.

"So of course you have to try a deep fried Oreo. But there's also fried butter, deep fried brownies, fried ice cream, fries with cheese, candied apples, cotton candy, funnel cake a la mode topped with strawberries, snow cones on and on etc."

"And we're eating all that right now? Seems a bit much innit?"

"Of course not my love. We eat that in between rides throughout the day. Keep up."

Flipping off the police officer's booth every time y'all pass by.

He will not get any of the novelty items that they sell like those big lemonade cups or the bucket of fries. They are overpriced and a waste of plastic.

He doesn't understand why you bought those fries that are 7 bucks and yet he still sat there and stole ate some.

"Hobie why are there less fries in my bucket than before?"

"I ain't got a clue mate."

"Hobart, stop touching my damn fries."

"And if I don't?" He reached into the bucket while maintaining eye contact.

You smile sarcastically.

"Oh you think you're cute. Don't worry I've got something for you later."

Y'all get on every ride there. Every single one. Excluding the ferris wheel because it's boring as hell.

I feel like he's the type to get lost if you don't keep an eye on him. (How does one lose a giant?)

After getting tired of walking around looking for him you have them call for him at the fair office over the speakers.

"You didn't have to do that."

"You didn't have to eat my damn fries either but here we are."

You win a lot of prizes for him at the game booths.

You didn't think about how you both would have to carry them around the fairgrounds so you decide to hand then out to kids and couples.

Overall he had a good time and if you ask him to go with you next year he will.

(A/N: Do think Hobie would go to a county fair? No. But I'm gonna drag him there and he's going to eat a candy apple WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT. Y'all ever realize that most fair rides are just things going in a circle really fast or really slow.)

#hobie x reader #hobie x black reader #hobie x black!reader #atsv x reader #my bae [🎸]#jay and the spiders #cory writes

114 notes · View notes

jessybarnes · 1 year

Text

The Next Best Thing

Title: The Next Best Thing

Pairing: Steve Rogers x F!Reader x Bucky Barnes

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 916

Tags: Angst, fluff, the reader sleeps with a stuffed animal, implied Stucky, worried Stucky, crying, slight panic, losing a comfort item, cuddling, and I think that's it.

Written For: @comfortember

Day 7: Comfort Item

Beta(s): None

"Where is he?!"

You rip the blankets off the bed and toss the pillows behind you haphazardly, but you still come up empty handed.

Your whole bedroom is torn apart. Clothes everywhere, blankets, pillows, and shoes strewn around the room, and you still can't find your favorite stuffie.

Tears pool in your eyes as you try not to think about it. You've had your stuffed dog since you were a baby, and you can count on one hand the times you've had to sleep without him.

You wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your sweatshirt and start to slowly pick up the mess you made. Maybe you could ask Natasha or Wanda to help you look for him after you've had something to eat.

Once you've got everything cleaned up, you pad softly to the kitchen. Even though your stomach's in knots you know you need to eat something.

You settle on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some chips and a glass of water. You're sitting alone at the kitchen island quietly eating your dinner when Steve and Bucky come in from their workout. They each grab a drink and then join you, but you're too upset to strike up a conversation.

Steve studies your body language and then looks at Bucky knowing he's thinking the same thing. "Y/N? Hey, is everything okay?"

You peek up at him and nod, "yeah, I'm okay. I'm just tired."

He and Bucky aren't convinced, but nevertheless, they don't pry.

They continue to glance at you every now and then until you finally finish your food. You throw away your trash and place your plate in the sink before walking slowly back to your room.

Bucky waits until you've rounded the corner before pointing his water bottle at Steve. "We agree there's something up with her, right?"

"Definitely," Steve nods. "Maybe we could ask her to watch a movie with us?"

"Mmhmm," Bucky hums as he finishes off the last of his drink and licks his lips. "You pick out something cute, like a rom com or Disney and I'll go ask her."

Steve tosses their bottles in the recycling while Bucky heads down the hallway toward your bedroom. He knocks on your door and calls out to you softly.

"Hey, doll? Stevie and I wanted to know if you'd come and watch a movie with us?"

You sniffle and wipe yours eyes before climbing off your bed to open the door. You're not even worried that he'll see you crying at this point. You just want your stuffie back.

"Thanks, Buck...I'm not really in the movie mood though."

His face falls when he sees your tear stained cheeks.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

You can't hold it back anymore. Your lip quivers and you bury your head in your hands as sobs shake your body.

Bucky pulls you into his chest and holds you close, his metal hand gently rubbing your back while his flesh one holds the back of your head.

"Shh...it's okay. You're okay, Y/N. I'm here, doll. I've got you."

Your cries get louder and soon Steve comes to investigate, worry creasing his brow when he sees the state you're in.

"Buck what happened? What's going on?"

"I don't know. I knocked on her door and asked if she'd join us for a movie and she just started crying."

Bucky moves his hand to cup your cheek and tilts your head up so you're looking at him. His thumbs catch your tears as Steve reaches out to grab your hand.

"Honey," Steve says tenderly, "can you tell us what's got you so upset?"

You let out a shaky breath, "I...I lost m-my stuffie..."

They both kneel down so they're closer to your eye level. Bucky curls a couple of loose strands of hair behind your ear, his voice soft, "are you talking about the little dog that you carry around the compound sometimes?"

You nod, "I swear I left him on my bed and now I won't be able to sleep because I have to have him and... and I...I just want him back..."

You're sobbing again and Steve picks you up, holding you close to his body as he carries you to your bed.

"Hey...shh...baby, you've gotta breathe for us, okay? You're going to get sick if you keep crying that hard. Bucky and I will help you find him, alright?"

You take a few shaky breaths and look between the both of them, "y-you will?"

Bucky sits next to you and rubs your thigh, "of course, we will, doll."

"In the meantime though, you should get some sleep, okay?" Steve adds. "You've had a stressful day and resting will help you feel better."

"But I can't sleep without Lilac."

Fresh tears gather in your eyes and they both scoot closer to you.

"Stevie and I will lay with you, sweetheart."

Bucky stands and pulls his shirt over his head before stepping out of his sweat pants. Steve follows suit and they both help you lie down before laying on either side of you.

They're warm, really warm, and you find yourself nuzzling into Bucky's chest while Steve's rests against your back. Their big, calloused hands smooth over your delicate skin as your eyes droop.

"Sleep, doll," Bucky says before kissing your temple gingerly. "Steve and I will help find Lilac when you wake up, okay?"

"Yeah, baby. Buck and I will be right here with you the whole time. We promise."

Tagging: @sarahrogersevans @chrisevansdaughter @brandyywar @nerdygingermoose88

229 notes · View notes

mylevisdontfitanymore · 5 months

Note

Bucky fattened by a frat as a mascot of some kind? Starts pretty big when he’s a freshman, already pushing 400 — come what would have been his final year and it takes a couple bros to turn him over to fuck. Ah I dunno just free use immobile blob Bucky who’s an absolute cockslut, he’ll do anything so long as he gets as much food as he wants? Pledges have to attend to him 24/7, that includes his bi-hourly funnel feeding, a litre or so of shake every other hour?

Anyway, maybe Steve was his first attendant? Both freshman, Steve was made to feed him and please him and serve him, and now he’s head of the frat or however they work.

Anyway there’s the rambling done waddaya think?

You should check out "teamwork" by caloriebomb!!

I keep, in particular, thinking about this part:

“Steve made this coffeecake just for the team,” Clint said, and levered another vast slice onto Bucky's plate. “You can't make him feel bad by not eating it.” “I'm fucking full,” Bucky said. “I can barely breathe.” But of course, he ate it. And he ate more bacon, too, and let them give him the last chocolate chip muffin, and he drank another glass of milk, and ate another slice of heavily-buttered bread, and, to hell with it, finished off the rest of the bacon entirely. He was moaning a little by the time he was done, shameless in his discomfort, his belly almost hard to the touch and so heavy he felt pinned down by it. “For good luck,” Sam said, and rubbed his belly, and then Clint followed suite, and suddenly Bucky was inundated with a line of football players all trying to get their hands on his swollen gut, and Thor was shouting, “Our good luck charm! Our good luck Buck!” and honestly it felt too good to protest, and he was so stuffed he could barely speak anyway, so he just sat there and let it happen, weighed down by his enormous breakfast and the unbendable dome of his throbbing tummy.

I do, really, really love this idea, though. I keep picturing one of those big snorlax plushies with the huge tummies and short little legs.

Like, c'mon, that is Bucky.

Unbeta'd, you know how it is, warning for Bucky-centric belly kink filth. Implied stucky? Stuffing, funnel feeding, immobility, alcohol consumption, intox kink, slight come inflation, etc.

Or, that's what Bucky turns into after he's hazed and then pledges, and is officially a member of his frat 👀

He absolutely is a big boy going in, but after he's been in for a few years, nearing the end of his college days, he's packed on more than the freshman 15, by far.

After being constantly stuffed and fed and fucked by his bros, he's unbelievably round. So round that his stomach floods between his far spread thick thighs, forcing them apart, and it rests on top of those thick, heavy thighs, leaving him without the ability to stand without help. Really, he can hardly maneuver around it - his belly, that is. It's so heavy. It's always so full. Hell, he can't get his fucking arms around it now! He can't shut his legs, either. Not that that matters when his frat bros are always trying to get them wider, anyhow, using his hole when they can manage to roll Bucky over onto his enormous gut, or just fucking any of his many, many rolls.

He's soft and irresistible all over.

Fat on fat on fat.

Stacking up.

He's overflowing with fat. He's impossibly fat. So much so that when his bros try their best to use their gym-honed muscles - biceps flexing - to lift his massive belly, they sweat and grunt but simply can't always squeeze their arms in between his rolls enough to find his cock. It's buried. Not that Bucky's cock matters to him much now... he gets more than enough pleasure without a finger laid on him there. There's enough pressure and friction from his own fat. He can grind against himself. And his belly is more than sensitive enough. Always bloated tight and packed even fuller. Just touching his gut is enough to make him come.

Whenever the guys can't roll him over - either because there's not enough helping hands around the house at the time, or Bucky is too full to flip, heavier than usual and making sounds like a beached whale, protesting, lest he throw up - they end up fucking all his excess fat. They fuck his love handles and stacking up sides. Plush. They fuck his moobs. Overflowing and flabby and deliciously sensitive, especially those stretched out, hard nipples. They fuck where his belly flops onto his thick, spilled-out thigh. They fuck his belly. They fuck his beanbag like belly.

Heavy.

Thick.

Blubber that rolls like waves when they get going, really into fucking their mascot, and the thrusts push out burps and groans and heavy, gasping breaths from Bucky. He can't handle it. It feels almost as good as being fucked in his hole. He loves having his belly fucked, even if it presses on his stuffed stomach, walking the line of being too much. Pleasure that almost hurts.

Bucky loves it, though.

Even when he's about to pop, bursting at the seams, unable to stifle the hiccups and burps and deep groans bubbling up from his sloshing tummy with how hard he's being jostled, fucked and toyed with however his bros want. Maybe especially then.

Or, no, the best is when they're all home after a party. When the party upstairs has wound down and all his bros are drunk, not yet passing out or fully blackout drunk, but when they're lose enough that their rougher sides come out. Then, they're rowdy from the pounding music, drinks, and crowded, sweaty bodies, and they all seem to share a single thought, needing to use him; needing to fill him; needing to lavish their lucky and greedy mascot with attention after leaving him alone in the basement for the party. Their dirty little secret. Their sweating, panting, growing mascot.

If Bucky's any mascot, he's a pig.

A big, fat pig.

A pig who's always shoveling food into his mouth with his fat hands, his fat chin doubling and thick throat bobbing with each massive mouthful. Never satisfied.

They're going to satisfy him...

After a party, they're all always hard, barely contained in their jeans and gym shorts - unashamedly obvious. Their faces are flushed, eyes hungry, and lips loose and wet. Beer on their breath. Crowding around him. Everyone is aching to touch. He's so soft. So big. So heavy. So fat.

Now, the fraternity make sure to buy more beer and snacks than a party could ever take down for the sole purpose of feeding their pet pig afterward. They know where they always end up.

Every. single. time.

They tear apart the whole house for Bucky. Not just demolishing the party supplies. Everything. Everything is fair game. They feed him chips and dips and kegs of beer and pizza and all that junk. And then...

And then, they break out the protein powders and blenders and make shake after shake after shake for Bucky.

Weight gain shakes.

None of the protein is going to turn into anything but fat. Bucky doesn't move. Bucky is just a ball.

Bucky is a mascot, a pet - a fun, fat, soft toy for them to use. They'll be fucking him sloppy and messy, after a party, and will forget to keep feeding him. Then. That's what Bucky moans for. He doesn't want to come. No. He wants more.

More food.

God.

More.

He begs so much, so greedy, that they have to feed him to shut him up. And when they do run out of things to feed him, there's nothing to be done but shoving their dicks down his throat and coming, filling him up that way, if he's just so desperate to be full.

He is.

He's so desperate to be full.

And every time he is full, he's not just full. He's overfull. Meaning... next time, he'll be able to take just that much more, ever-increasing his huge stomach capacity 🥵

#ask #mylevisdontfitanymore #belly kink #text #bucky barnes #steve rogers #chubby bucky #fat bucky #stucky #fic rec #fanfiction recommendation #caloriebomb #animal play #pig

25 notes · View notes

sibylsleaves · 1 year

Text

seven sentence sunday

more “Buck and Eddie can’t fuck yet.” the actual “can’t fuck yet” part!! tagged by @comaboybuck @rewritetheending @henswilsons @eddiediazisascorpio

edit: also tagged by @trippedandfell & @capseycartwright 😘😘

“Buck,” Eddie moans, so fucking desperate from just this, just thirty seconds of kissing and Buck’s body all over his. He’s one dirty grind away from begging for it, and he wonders if Buck even realizes how utterly and completely he’s got Eddie wrapped around his finger.

Or…another part of him, as Eddie hopes will soon be the case.

But then Buck breaks the kiss and rolls back onto his side, so hardly any part of him is touching Eddie.

“Wait, wait,” Buck says breathlessly.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks, rolling onto his side to face him.

Buck nods. “Yeah, I just…I think we should talk. Before we do anything else.”

All the warmth that has been filling Eddie’s body since he woke up suddenly chills.

Buck must read Eddie’s expression, but he hastens to say, “No, no, a good talk! I think. I hope.” He gives him a shy little smile through his lashes. “I just…need to make sure we’re both on the same page. About what this means for…for us.”

Eddie softens like butter. He feels unbearably fond. Unbearably in love with this man who let Eddie do filthy things to him last night, and then carefully asks for reassurance and affirmation in the morning.

tagging @eddiediazes @colonoscopys @usercowboy @homerforsure @spaceprincessem @gayhoediaz @eddiediass (btw are we supposed to tag 7 people for 7ss? because that’s how I’ve been doing it lol)

#seven sentence sunday #sibyls wips

36 notes · View notes

ask-majoko-and-pals · 20 days

Text

It's Rye time

Let's get this bread

Atrocity Sandwich of the week: jalapeno, tofu, and tomato with balsamic vinegar and peanut butter.

5: school rolls, whole wheat. The basic. Sorry y'all. Not much. 5/10

4: HOT. CROSS. BUNS. DELICIOUS but they don't make em like they used to... 6/10, sadly.

3: Egg on toast. Yeah this was my breakfast today I forgot about this list until this morning. I'm sorry. 7/10 for lateness.

2: Toast that was 8 bucks. YES I WENT BACK FOR IT, YES IT'S STILL GOOD. I know toast shouldn't be 8 dollars. But it is Hot and Fresh and Crispy and beautifully paired with TWO different butters and dragon fruit jam. Hack has not lete live this down. They call it bougie bread. 9/10

1: Sourdough Rye. 10/10. Always. Except I've caught Hack dumping in THREE extra cups of sugar I DON'T WANT TO GET BUSTED FOR ACCIDENTALLY BREWING RYE ALCOHOL IN MY DORM!

#rotomblr #rye's bread #oc ask blog #ask blog #don't accidentally brew alcohol #No do not put your shuckle up to it either.#pokemon irl

4 notes · View notes

stranger-than-fictionn · 2 years

Text

Welcome to Hellfire, Girly

(my first fic! i hope you all enjoy :) I tried, key word tried, to base the reader as a close as i could to 80′s goth and shoutout to my bestie for helping me :) <3)

-Eddie Munson x alt!reader

-warnings: light talk about his drug but otherwise no warnings :)

The morning started out like any other, sticking to your routine perfectly.

6:00 am

Wake up and get clothes on. Today you decided to wear your cuffed boatneck black sweater, your ripped up stockings, and a red plaided penicl skirt. You added your silver ankh necklace and silver rings, courtesy of your friend for your 18th birthday. Before you could start anything else you tucked your sweater into your skirt.

You teased your hair to your liking and put makeup on for the day. By the time you leave your room and make your daily buttered toast, it’s 6:30. After slipping on your black, worn out boots you make your way to the bus stop. You slip on your koss porta pro headphones that are connected to your Gpx cassette player. As ‘Shake the Disease’ from Depeche Mode begins to play in your ears, the bus makes it stop and you walk on the crowded vehicle

This morning already started on a bad foot, your best friend wasn’t here at your meeting spot so that meant going to the basketball pep rally by yourself. You spotted Robin Buckely within the band section of the gym. You gave her a small wave and she returned it.

The two of your were close freshmen to junior year but with no classes together and having jobs, the two of you rarely hangout anymore.When you do see her at Family Video, you two equally talk each other’s ears off with stories from the past week,

The rest of the pep rally went by and you left for your English class. You didn’t mind this class but the basketball boys were still pumped up from the pep rally so their loud excitement didn’t sit well with you at 7:35 in the morning.

“Okay everyone, it’s book discussion day, please out your books and 3 questions and split up into groups two to four.” your teacher said, sitting at his desks, clearly to busy grading your past test to care that much. You went to closest 3 person group you could find, starting to discuss ‘Jurassic Park’ and the metaphor of how the book shows we shouldn’t disrupt mother nature and the cycle of life. The three people you sat with could care less about the book, but you really wanted this grade.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lunch. God not this period, usually you sit with your friend but their absence means sitting alone. It’s like being in a small row boat in the sea of social classes within this high school. You have your band kids, party goers, your popular kids table etc. You can either sink or float, and it feeling like you’re sinking.

You decide to sit in the back of the cafeteria, music playing through your headphones as you ate your sandwich. Being at lunch alone is like being a zebra alone in the wild, the lions can come up any second and attack-

“Hey, you listening?” a younger boy said while smacking the table to get your attention. You quickly set down your sandwich and took off your headphones, looking at the two look at the boys.

One wearing a hat that says ‘thinking cap’ and a fun button shirt, the other tall with black curly hair and strong cheekbones and jawline. The two have one thing in common, a hellfire club t-shirt. Most famously known to be the dnd club of Hawkins High. You thought of joining, but your job makes it hard for an after school club.

“Yes? May I help you?” you ask, the shorter boy looked excited. “Hi I’m Dustin, so would you know a game called Dungeons and Dragons also known as dnd? It’s a really cool game-” he was cut off by you saying, “Yes I know what dnd is, I have a character for it.”

“Great! Now my buddy Mike and I need a sub for tonight’s meetup, would you like to come to hellfire with us tonight?” he asked, adding a smile to butter up his deal with you.

Playing dnd with stranger you’ve never met? Is this how you want to spend the night before spring break?...fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen? “Sure, I’ll join you,” you said, looking at the boys smile at each other in accomplishment.

“Awesome! You won’t regret this!” Dustin said smiling, shaking your hand. You couldn’t help but smile a bit, these kids were excited you wanted to play, it felt nice. “Okay, all you have to do is talk to the dungeon master and we’ll be in our way. Meet us outside of the gym around 5:30. that can be our meeting spot then we can play.” Mike says obviously sounding more chirped than when he first came over here.

You nodded, “Okay, sounds like a plan to me,” then the bell rung, signaling people to movie to your next period. “I’ll see you guys then,” you said to the boys, making your way to the exit.

———————————————————————————-

5:30 came around, you waited by the gym doors. while you held your note sheet and pencils. You soon hear shouting from the boys, making it clear they’re here. They came up to you, “Ready to meet our dungeon master?” Dustin asked, “Ready as I’ll ever be,” you gave a small smile.

The three of you walked to where the hellfire club meeting was taken place. You walked into the dimly lit room, seeing the ‘dungeon master’ and the three other members of the hellfire club around him.

“Soooo, this is who you brought as a sub?” Eddie asked, leaning back in throne. “Yep! And they already have a character made,” Dustin added in. Eddie smirked, his eyes examining you and your posture. You seem a bit nervous but otherwise determined, he likes that about you. “Okay, state your name and tell me about your character.” he demanded, feeling almost king-like from the chair he sat upon.

“My name is Y/n and my character is a level 15, chaotic good, elf, ranger named Saeya Gaelen. She has poison laced arrows and a dagger named ‘Dagger of Death’s Flower’ carefully crafted to be able to kill any being she so pleases.” you stated, feeling a bit silly saying everything out loud, you never played with this party, how will they react to you?

Eddie got up from his throne, walking towards you with a smile, “Not too bad there…Think you can hang with us?” he asked while leaning close to you, his voice had genuine excitement in it. Your face heated up a tad, he is really cute and was so close to you.You smile and nodded, “Yeah I do,” he stuck out his hand for you to shake, “Welcome to hellfire, girly,” he said while you shook his hand.

———————————————————————————

After the most intense game, the 8 of you walk out the school, same time as the audience of the basketball game. You all were laughing and celebrating after you rolled a successful 20 as the last player standing against vecna.

“So Y/n, you like it here?” Eddie asked, coming up to walk with you. “Yeah! It was loads of fun, thank you for letting me in, dungeon master,” you joked at the end, put a smile on his face, “You can call me Eddie now that we’re not playing…You know, you’re different from the rest of the people here,” he stated while looking at you. He smiled and continued, “You’re not some conformist like everyone else at this school, you’re actually really cool… and pretty..” he mumbled towards the end.

You blushed, “Did I hear that correctly Eddie?” you asked, making him smile and blush out of embarrassment, “Nooooo, you didn’t. I didn’t say anything actually,” he laughed and you joined him, “But no I’m serious, you are…really pretty,” he stated as he stopped walking to look at you, “T-Thank you, I think you’re pretty cute yourself Eddie..” you added, feeling yourself unconsciously but your lip and look down at your boots.

He gave a small laugh before saying, “Can I get your phone number at all? Just so we can talk when I get home? I got do this deal, someone’s buying and I’m selling,” he joked, but he was serious about selling what someone wants to buy.

“Yeah you can, i’ll give you my personal phone so you don’t call my house phone late tonight…” you mumbled, using your pencil and a spare piece of paper, you wrote your number, “Okay I gotta go so call me when you get home,” you smiled, going towards your car to drive home.

Eddie smiled as he watched you pull out and drive away from the school. He looked at the paper that had your phone as a small message that wrote, “Thanks for the fun night dungeon master Eddie, hope this means I’m invited to next meeting :)”

He bit his bottom lip, trying to hide his excitement from getting your number. People say dnd makes people go crazy, start cults, or even commit murder…never mentioned how it can bring someone new to you.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n

114 notes · View notes

sonseulsoleil · 10 hours

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @hmslusitania! Thanks Hayley!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

110

2. What’s your total word count on AO3?

483,852

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever I am obsessed with at the moment. The last stuff I was working on was Percy Jackson fic, before that Heartstopper (and I WILL get back to those wips eventually). Oh, and Newsies is also currently in the works! Basically I have ADHD and I am all over the place all of the time. I'll go back to wips I started 5 years ago and keep working on them. What I've written vs what I've actually managed to polish and post is a HUGE disparity lol

4. Top five fics by kudos

- All We Do Is Run

- Let the Whole World Melt Away

- never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same)

- sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making)

- stay in my arms if you dare (or must I imagine you there)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, almost always. It takes me awhile sometimes, but I try to respond to every comment. I worry that if I don't respond, people will stop commenting.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a couple Major Character Death fics, but they're not on AO3 because they were just drabbles so I only posted them on tumblr (also they're very old and bad)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm maybe All We Do Is Run, just compared to the source material lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have a couple times. Mostly on fics where I've introduced OCs, which sucks.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, sometimes. But I don't post it. I write it for myself and will maybe share it with friends if they're interested.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written a proper crossover. I'll write AUs where I take the characters of Property A and put them into the story of Property B, but I've never written a true crossover where characters of two properties interact.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, but I've definitely had fic concepts stolen. Which sounds petty, but I've made posts about fics I'm working on and had people take them and write their own fics with the same details I mentioned and it's like. Not plagiarism exactly and it's impossible to own ideas, really, but it does rub me the wrong way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple times! It's very cool!

13. Have you ever Co-written a fic?

I tried once a long time ago and it went poorly. Turns out I am not a very good collaborator sometimes.

14. All time favourite ship?

I don't--you want me to pick ONE?! are you kidding lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have SO MANY. There's a Star Trek fic I've been working on off and on since Beyond came out. There's my mermaid!Buck 911 fic. There's my current Heartstopper fic. There's my PJO Anastasia fic. There's my angst canon divergence Psych fic. My google drive is a graveyard of partially written stories begging to see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things, clearly.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends wildly. I've written this in some Heartstopper fics, because Nick speaks French. And I had a friend who is fluent in French help me get it right. I think when people take the time to find a fluent speaker to help them or are fluent themselves, it's fine and good. And when people are just using google translate, it shows. Also, obviously, being bilingual has to make sense for the character. I also especially have beef with the way people often write latine characters/Spanish specifically. I grew up surrounded by latinos and nobody talks like that. Stop it. You all know what I'm talking about.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

ABC's Castle. Say what you will about Nathan Fillion, but that show shaped me as a person.

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

All We Do Is Run (longest multi-chap I've ever written. this thing was years of my life.)

répète (the only one of my GMW/BMW fics I regularly go back to)

tin can telephones (it's all written in texts and dialogue and that was really fun)

I'm tagging @firstelevens @memequeme @galwithalibrarycard and anyone else who wants to do it!

#this was fun!#my writing #I do not know why that 110 is so huge #I have done everything I can think of to try to make it normal sized #I thought I had it! and then I posted it and it was big again #idk man

5 notes · View notes

thesinglesjukebox · 25 days

Text

CARDI B - "ENOUGH (MIAMI)"

youtube

We can't get enough of Cardi, which is why you'll be seeing her again later today...

[6.23]

Alfred Soto: A flex that tries to cow the feeble backing track, "Enough" is a demonstration of Cardi B's talent for a contempt that makes exceptions for consonants. No one human enough to mind sits on the receiving end of "Enough" -- this is pure brand extension and proud of it. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: I think I just took physical damage. [7]

Leah Isobel: Cardi is truly Azealia's daughter. Just like her mother, she can do some truly phenomenal things with a consonant sound; the way she launches the word "sluts" off her tongue or pushes the plosives into her nose on "got 'em thick like peanut butter/bitches is jelly about it" is pure ear candy. The glee in her voice elevates "Enough" past its vaguely tacky brand management, but not past its slightness. [6]

Oliver Maier: Cardi virtually feels like an elder statesman at this point, and her aggressive, carpet-bomb style of rapping would feel quaint and outdated if it wasn't still so fun to hear her do it. There's a real tactility to her flow that it took me a while to appreciate, but the way that she doubles down on certain plosives and syllables while snubbing others entirely is so clearly a strength rather than a weakness. She regularly pronounces about half of the letters of the word "fuck" and it still feels ballistic. Comfortably her best song since "Up" with bonus points for the "How Many Licks?" reference. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Less a Cardi B song than the outline of a Cardi B song – if I turn "Enough" around in my mind I can imagine where a more engaged Cardi could fill in more compelling material, lines that would hit harder if they had a more specific image or funnier joke. Instead, we've got this, which is not quite there in so many ways that the whole thing capsizes. Dayenu? Not this time. [4]

Jeffrey Brister: I’ve always enjoyed Cardi B a lot more in this stripped-down, straight-ahead context. It gives the spotlight to her technical skill and hilarious writing, laden with punchlines and laugh out loud moments (three shots an’ I’m ready to FUCK -- girl, same). This is the most satisfying kind of meat-and-potatoes rap. [9]

TA Inskeep: I want and expect more from Cardi at this point than just endless boasting. [5]

Nortey Dowuona: "Her" has four producers. "Enough" has three. Maybe it should've had a 4th to fix the chorus. Or the drums. Then again, "Sweetest Pie" had five producers, OG Parker and Romano amongst them, so maybe it's not just the number. Maybe it's OG Parker's fault... wait, he made "Thot Shit"? "Slippery"? "On It"? "Ur Best Friend"? "LIGER"? Was this youngblood Parker on the boards today? [0]

Dave Moore: Cardi B's charm is effortless, so even a track that seems like it was assembled on autopilot has something to recommend it, grimly "hard-edged" (read: dull) though it may sound. She sounds fantastic on the Shakira single; maybe she should make a harder artistic pivot. Pick any direction you like... how about Cowboy Cardi? [6]

Ian Mathers: Whereas some of Cardi's more notable rivals have, err, notably dropped off over time, this is her firmly succeeding in "Bodak Yellow" mode except... I think I like it a little better? The delivery and wordplay are even more confident (points for referencing "Just Say That" and "Knuck If You Buck" without just copying them), it's got a better chorus, and the production is simple but effective. You can get away with a lot when your core is this strong. [8]

Taylor Alatorre: Atlanta's cultural hegemony over 21st century hip-hop is such that a back-to-basics NYC drill track can use "Knuck if You Buck" as its central signifier for choosing violence, and no one bats an eyelash. Not that I'm the first person to observe this, of course, but Cardi isn't exactly giving me much to work with here. The beat is clean, suggesting danger without creating it; the flow is lean, snapping at haters without devouring them. One gets the sense that this was written as a comeback single, but for better or worse it doesn't take the kinds of risks that are traditionally associated with such mass-marketed stabs in the dark. It is the first-ever notable release in the history of popular music to use the term "regular-degular," though, and one figures that has to be worth something. [6]

Isabel Cole: Cardi always marries boastful menace with silliness so well. I hope this song kicks off a trend of don't-fuck-with-me rap songs expressing badassery through fun animal facts and Dr. Seuss homages. [7]

Mark Sinker: So this one has a little star, and this one has a little car Say! What a lot of bitch there are [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#cardi b #music #rap #hip hop #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

4 notes · View notes

seeminglyseph · 1 month

Text

I always feel so anxious when like. A YouTuber or something does a “taste test” of like. Microwaved meals and TV dinners and like. “Poor people stuff” and it’s like. A scene out of fucking Ouran Host club like “I’m going to experience the poor people’s food” but also like they make it wrong and eat it cold and make like 30 and once and the whole video is a spectacle in how revolting the whole thing is.

And like. It feels like mockery when like. When I was working and had 20 minutes to eat and no energy to prepare food? Yeah Lean Cuisine or whatever had some decent pastas that were like max $5 a meal, no name had a decent broccoli “lasagna” for like a buck. Some of the fancy ones for like $6-7 had like butter chicken or the high protein Mac and cheese with bacon.

But the people doing the gimmick taste tests never ate these as like. Food. They think they’re like… “a representation of where the west went wrong” not something a person would voluntarily eat because they’re too sick to make food and they’ve figured out which meals taste the best.

It feels like so much food shame and embarrassment and I just feel like “okay, sorry I was poor in the wrong way asshole… I’ll try and be more aesthetically poor in the future.” Idk. Didn’t mean to be trashy I’m just trying to get by.

3 notes · View notes

southparkdoodlesandstuff · 9 months

Text

Notes on SP eps

SP eps I forgot to take notes on the first 3 I do it later lmao fell free to use these stamps for edits or anything

S4. ep16 6:11 Cartman s l i d e s s4 ep17 1:55 Ike and Kyle wholesome s4 ep17 8:03 Mr.Hanky and his wife need to s4 ep17 16:07 KYLE EHAT THE HECK???? s5 ep1 17:54 Uncle Jimbo is a homo (WHAT s5 ep4 11:38 DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE YA s5 ep6 14:39 "Sit down Kyle" Can't ">:("

s5 ep7 00:30 "Scream for me btch" "AAAA" s5 ep7 15:12 "We gotta get rid of the gorls"

s5 ep8 21:01 Highly streaches s5 ep9 14:52 "We're speaking English rn does that make sense???" s5 ep9 21:58 "?!??!?!?" (Idk tbh s5 ep10 12:50 *Background shinanigans the boys and res to town laughing lmao) + Sometime later in ep Style moment lol s5 ep12 I just really like Tolkien's voice s5 ep13 21:00 FCK HIM UP KYLE! (Also dude Kenny really is cared for) s5 ep14 (Entire ep) Butters dude. That is messed uuuupp. s6 ep2 17:00 A SIMPLE LIL MOTAGGGE s6 ep3 4:30 "Star trek dude has an axe in bg) STAN KYLE AND CARTMAN I WILL PUNCH YOU STOP GASLIGHTING MY SON + 16:02 I love robbary and fraud I'm a shoplisting

s6 ep4 3:30 THE WAY THEY ROLL 3:58 STAN BE COMMITING CRIMES 4:30 "W h a t??" Bebe has some other ideas 6:32 THEY GOT CAUGHT 10:47 Kyle take off your hat what the hell 15:25 "Don't have a dad Mike not gonna work" 16:00 FIghting in background 16:40 Stanley :((( Has sores Stan is one big pussy

s6 ep5 6:55 STAN's NOSE PINCH LMAO I low-key really like this ep the subplot of Cheif tryna contorl his TV is gold lmao 14:13 They're excited 18:40 "We'll kill butter's later!" 20:05 "WHOOOO YEAHHHHH!!!"

s6 ep6 5:30 REALITY TV (reanimated THIS) 9:19 are they breaking the 4th wall???

s6 ep7 IDK WHEN BUT TWEEK SINGS HMMER TIME

s6 ep8 4:20 The boys chillin (Where's Ken?) 5:15 Tweek: "I'M A WHAT?!" 7:08 Craig: Walks away 7:42 Kyle: "Get the **** of here." Pure disgust

s6 ep9 4:20 Kyle is confusion It looks really funky witht the art style 14:35 SP creators :DDD 16:28 TWEEK HAS A MISSUL LAUNCHER

s6 ep10 4:50 WHA ape grunts 5:20 I feel you Wendy 7:17 Girls no :( 10:04 "Bebe you're still cool" 13:15 "HAOHAOHA" 16:00 Jeez fanon bebe is insanely inaccurate 17:25 Cute Parent Marshes moment 19:00 HOW WENDY 21:04 THE BOYS ARE HUGGINH

s6 ep11 6:34 Craig deffo got them tall genes 8:58 "I didn't mean to! (be abducted)" 11:40 "Im nugh dune wiuth mgh pizza…" 19:57 "Oh god our parents are so stupid dude." + cute moments 21:20 HELP STAN-

S6 ep12 1:45 "Mrky" Ok Current realization "KENNY!" 8:11 "Maybe you got brain cancer" "YOU THINK!?" "Cartman don't get brain cancer." 20:11 I'm scared for new Randy

s6 ep13 11:59 "I'm not playing anymore." s6 ep15 7:40 DAMN STAN. 9:25 LET KENNY WATCH FATSO 11:00 Psychic Stan ("No I'm not!") 13:47 Stan pinching his nose 16:30 Stan you're still in the school why are you slaming the door 17:53 Kyle: :o

s6 ep16 4:10 Stan nose pinch again :D 7:10 Stutters duo on an adventure (entire ep) 8:40 "They're lying" 11:40 "how many parents have you enacted revenge on??" 12:21 "18,000$" - "How bout 5 bucks." 13:18 this entire scene is geuninlly interesting to see knowing Eric's character It showcases his COMPLEXITY WHEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE 15:55 POP OFF STAN 16:30 Cartman can speak spanish?? Dude he's dedicated. 17:50 Stan is smart

s6 ep17 (Throughout the ep Jimmy sings <3) 6:16 TWEEK YOU'RE NOT CRAZY 11:50 Kyle and Cartman interaction lmao 14:21 the way Jesus specifies "Eric" Cartman lmao 14:30 JESUS HAS A GUN 15:40 I'm packing 17:40 "Dude this is pretty fcked up." 19:22 Idk who these kids are they're in a different style and its a little odd. 21:10 NVM THIS IS THE SAME 21:20 KENNY! KENNY'S BACK! DUDE WHERE THE HEEL WERE YOU????

S7 ep1 0:50 IKE IS NOT A WEPON KYLE Cartman??? Dude you good?????? I HATE HOW CALLED OUT I FEEL BY THE SCIENCTIST IN THIS EP HE THINKS EXACTLY LIKE ME There is a scene somewhere where Kenny pulls his Parka "Oh shit did we do that??" 20:00 KENNY NO

s7 ep2 1:30 "Oh I'm a dork huh :(" 2:45 Stan and Kyle dealing with Cartman's bs 7:45 Epic scene with Jimmy and Timmy 12:10 An attempt was made to sit 14:40 "Holy guacomole!" 23:30 "Me too-"

s7 ep3 3:50 "Lets go Kyle!" 11:27 "We're not Killing kyle" "Mrph!"[Yeah!] 14:40 "Whoa-o-ok thank you." 16:15 "A present from jesus himself!" Looks up 16:18 TButters? 18:59 Roblox coil sound

s7 ep4 3:34 "SHUT UP AND STUDY." 6:30 Why is he puttign so mcuh effort into the walk 7:47 Uhhh pop off Gerald?? 7:57 STAN NOSE PINCH 8:25 Kenny fucking leaves 13:55 Randy has talent 21:22 Kyle nose pich + "I- I don't know"

s7 ep5 (didn'r take anything ig"

s7 ep6 2:12 "Why won't she let me eat the piee." 3:40 Kenny is an artist (for twitter.) 4:13 WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS CONCLUSION 4:26 TUCKER??? CRAIG'S LONG LOST SIBLING? 5:05 Cartman has no right to be this detailed for a fatass 5:15 Kenny :((( 7:17 Sign languages Kyle: "What?????" 8:34 "hehehe thats gay" "hehehe we're gay" 9:16 "GRRRRR!" 10:27 The girl is so cute though 17:48 WDYM THE MCCORMICKS??? 18:20 "Kenny it doesn't go pekwwww it goes BANG BANG BANG"

s7 ep7 2:44 "26,000 DOLLARS?!?!" 5:30 CHEF!! 5:45 "We've had such great times here" CHAOS WHEN??? 6:51 Kennys cute here 9:17 Sharon and Randy moment 12:57 THOMAS TUCKER'S HEIGHT HELP

s7 ep8 00:55 KENNNYYY'S DESIGN 1:20 We're you guys waiting for the bus how tf are your switching to machovers 1:45 3:55 "OH MY GOD WHERE IS MY HOMEWORK I AM FREAKING OUU~U~UT!!" 4:45 YES CHEF 5:15 Well. Uh. I guess dreams come true. 11:12 KYLE WHERE TF DID YOU KEEP THAT 12:22 why is Liane there she's a whor-

s7 ep9 1:00 The kid's music tastes 2:10 Cartman being an ENTJ 2:54 Tolkien looked really epic 4:40 KYLE WHAT DID YOU DO? "I DON'T KNOW D:'" 8:45 "Why would I be looking way over there??" 10:30 Cartman tugging at Kyle's hat 16:56 Uh- 21:00 HELL YEAH TOLKIEN BEAT HIS ASS 21:25 YES BUTTERS YESSSS

s7 ep10 6:54 "GARALD WHERE ARE THE BOYS??" 8:00 SWEEP THE KIDS 9:26 HELP THE LINE MOVING LIKE A WORM 11:04 "I love youh guys, except for you kyel" 11:15 KENNY HOODIE PULL 13:00 Idk i just love this scene with all the kids :DD 18:17 Stan's Gang devising a plan

s7 ep11 CASA BONITA 1:30 "I have never been a dck to you!" 10:32 CARTAMAN? 11:20 I swear to- 12:00 cartman's little dancin 12:30 Butters singin 14:00 this entire scene with Eric. 17:00 why is Kenny wearing a tuxido over his parka. 19:31 ERIC SPEEDRUN GO

13 notes · View notes

iceycube · 5 months

Text

Child-friendly/mild Chicken curry!

Serves 6-8 grown-ups. At least a two day endeavor as it has to marinade over night in the fridge and simmer for a few hours.

Ingredients:

For the marinade:

1 big tablespoon Mild curry mix powder (mine has: coriander (34%), turmeric (31%), buck thorn seed, cayenne pepper, cumin, fennel, black pepper)

1 small tablespoon Tandoori masala mix (mine has: salt (50%), onion powder, cumin, turmeric, coriander, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, laurels, carnations/dianthus, buck thorn seed, garlic, black pepper, ginger, dill)

1-2 dL Apple or lemon juice

2 tablespoon Soy sauce (I use a thin one from Thailand, but I guess whatever you can get works)

Fresh cracked black pepper

1 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Monosodium Glutamate (msg (optional))

1400 g chicken meat (breast, deboned thigh, or the tenderloin. Or a mix of the things) (fresh or frozen. Just make sure it is completely thawed before working with it, should you use frozen. This requires you to get it out of the freezer and into the fridge at least 24 hours ahead of time)

Next day:

2 large or 3 small Onions

Half head of Garlic (remove any sprouts if you easily get reflux)

Butter/oil for frying

1/2 L cream (38% fat content) (i suppose you could use coconut milk instead if you can't have cream. Bevare of coconut flavor though)

Black pepper

1 small tablespoon Curry mix (same as in marinade)

200-250 mL Water

Edelsüß paprika (optional)

Side dish and possible toppings:

Rice or ramen noodles

Pineapple (fresh or canned, whichever you prefer)

Peanuts (roasted and salted)

Coconut flakes or sprinkles

Raisins

Banana chips

Mango chutney

Apple pieces

How to assemble:

How to marinade:

Dry stuff in a big bowl

Add soy sauce and juice

Taste test. Is it spicy enough? Sweet enough? Sour enough? Salty enough? Adjust to taste. It has to be almost unbearably much of all as it is the main seasonings for the food

Cut chicken into bite sized pieces and add to bowl. If you dislike the veins and sinewy things in chicken, now is a good time to remove it as well. No need to have disgusting things in the food you make yourself.

If you used frozen chicken, there usually is some liquid in the bag of bowl or whatever. You do not want that in this dish. Somehow use it for something else or get rid of it.

Cover and put in fridge until next day.

Next day: at least 4 hours before eating time

Take marinaded chicken out of fridge

Find a big pot. We are talking at least 3 L capacity

Peel onions and garlic

Heat many amount of butter in pot (it should cover the bottom completely when liquid) at like medium heat (5-6 of 9)

While butter heats up you cut your onions into small dice

Crack quite a lot of pepper into the pot and add curry powder

When fragrant, add onions and fry until soft

While onion fries you mince your garlic and just leave it on the cutting board until later

Fish chicken out of the marinade and fry until pale at a bit hotter than medium heat (like 7 of 9)

Add garlic and marinade

Add cream and water. Much water if you like the sauce thin, less water if you like it thicker

Get to a boil and then down to a low simmer (2 of 9) for at least three hours. Lid is optional

Taste test. If it feels like it is good as it is then perfect! If not, add what you feel misses. Salt, pepper, soy sauce? Paprika? It is usually paprika if it feel salty and spicy enough, but lacks depth. 1-2 teaspoons paprika rounds it out and deepens the flavor profile.

Make rice or noodles however you usually do

Put toppings on table. Either just in the containers they come in, or if you want to be fancy put it in ramekins or pretty bowls. Apply fork or spoon for hygienic getting toppings.

Assemble your bowls as you like and enjoy it :]

If anyone who tries this has ideas, feel free to add them so other can enjoy them as well

#Recipe #Chicken curry #Mild curry #Easy and delicious #Please reblog so more people can enjoy it

5 notes · View notes

hotmonkeelove · 3 months

Text

Answer 21, Tag 21

1. Nicknames: Caro, Jezebel, one of my pen names is Simone.

2. Zodiac Sign: Could I be any more of a Gemini?

3. Height: 5’6″

4. Hogwarts House: Slytherin and proud. (Needless to say, Rowling supporters DNI! Jerks.)

5. Last Thing I Googled: Occult traditions of humans becoming demons? (Shh, it's research...)

6. Favorite Musicians: The Monkees, the Bee Gees, Sarah Brightman, R.E.M., the Ramones, Madonna, and Buck-Tick. (We miss you, Acchan!)

7. Song Stuck in My Head: You Win Again - the Bee Gees

8. Following Now: 166, but most of these are inactive. I think only 15-20 post on a regular/ semi-regular basis.

9. Followers: 856, though I'm sure that's mostly bots.

10. Do I Get Asks: Once in a Blue Moon. Though I only recently enabled anon asks. I used to get a lot of trolling, but it seems to have died down.

11. Amount of Sleep: Who knows? It varies greatly. I have Non-24.

12. Lucky Number: 3

13. What am I Wearing? A satin nightie. I don't wear much at home.

14. Dream Job: Poet and novelist. Oh wait, that is my job! I don't make much money yet... Oh well.

15. Dream Trip: Barcelona, as Wales is my dream home.

16. Favorite Food: Butter paneer masala (Swaminaryan diet). Or anything with avocado and cilantro.

17. Instruments: My voice. I do not have the physical coordination to play anything (I have Tourette's and dyspraxia).

18. Languages: English, though I was proficient in ASL in my childhood.

19. Favorite Song: Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler (Hey, it's a love song to a vampire! And Bonnie Tyler rocks. Also, I slay it on karaoke!)

20. Random Fact: Today is the birthday of Marcus Antonius. 💜 💜 💜

21. Aesthetic: Purple and green, Art Nouveau and Art Deco (slight preference for the former), Regency/ Empire gowns, Egyptian Revival, Gothic Lolita, Biba make-up and fashion, ruffled knickers and stockings with suspender betls (like fancy maids and can-can dancers wear).

I tag: No one. Just steal it like I did.

#survey #about me #marc antony #he was a total capricorn!#as was cleopatra whose birthday was about a week earlier #part of their dynamic

2 notes · View notes

mmoxie · 11 months

Text

Part 7 - Bifocals

Yosemite was gorgeous, even in February. Bearing south once she hit Lake Tahoe, Dani and Seebs both were transfixed by the endless sprawls of deep, old-growth forests and massive, rolling hills that leaned up past the horizon at points to become true mountains. The absolute tranquility had the old cat's ears flicking, picking out birdsong, and the million colors of the natural world cut through years of cynicism to strike right at Dani's core.

It kept her from beating herself up for at least half the drive. At one point it might have seemed completely insane to drive hundreds of miles on a lark, but... it wasn't as if she was gonna be late to work.

Her radio was acting up, but fiddling with the knob didn't get her anything she recognized. She tried the AM emergency stations, she tried the far ends of the dial- heard a peep at 107.9, but it was gone when she took a sharp turn- and switched to tapes when she was sure she had done her due diligence.

She lingered on the case for Thin Lizzy's Thunder and Lightning. Empty. She resumed her search before she could start berating herself.

"Oh shit, I have Seal in here?" If I ever get to breathe again, I've gotta rewatch the Burton Batmans.

And so, Kiss from a Rose ushered her down into a little place called Fish Camp. Population: 42. She consulted that brochure from the rest stop, and lined up the picture of the general store with the real thing.

"Clean match. Hang tight, Seebs. Gonna go find our guy."

Dani eased through the door, setting off jingling bells above her head. A young person- she squinted, then shrugged; gender had simply left the building- sat on a three-legged stool behind the counter, fiddling with their phone.

"Hey," they offered. The unmistakable grunt of a famous baby covered head-to-toe in peanut butter echoed them from the screen.

"Hey. I need directions. Think you can help?"

"I got google maps." They shook their phone.

"We all got google maps. I'm looking for a guy, supposed to live in town here?"

"Guy, guy, guy... I don't know any guys," the little shit said, eyebrows raised high and innocent.

Dani, be cool. They're like... fourteen. You were fourteen once.

"Alright, well, who do you know?"

The teenager grinned sagely and leaned forward on their stool, phone dangling between thumb and index finger. The upside-down image of a guy with a hat on walking into a low doorframe played over and over.

"That's a reeeeeal good question. I know everyone. Except you."

"Tradesies," Dani said suddenly. "I'll tell you something if you tell me something." Kids fuckin' love the Sphinx. I can do this. I'm not 52 at all right now.

"Nah."

Christ. "Give you ten bucks."

"Fifty."

"Yeah, fuck it. Now, do you know a guy named Butterbean?" Dani picked through the billfold. All twenties. She put sixty on the counter. Probably better to be rid of the cash anyway. Keep whittling it down.

The teen snatched the bills and folded them into a pouch on the back of their phone.

"Sure don't."

Fucker. "How about... Craig? Craig Palmer?"

Fingers with short, cracked, multicolor nails waved in front of her eyes in the universal gesture for 'pay me.'

Sixty more bucks hit the counter. It don't matter. None of this matters. --Oh, dissociating a little. That was new.

"Dr. Palmer lives in the houseboat out on the pond. Everyone told him not to, but now that it's there... nothing we can do about it. Based, t-b-h."

Oh, god. I don't know what they meant. Was that good or bad?

"Based," Dani repeated, tonelessly as she could. The teenager seemed amused by this, allowing a vague smirk as they tapped at their phone. Posting, Dani knew. This one's a poster.

The pond was visible from pretty much anywhere. It was more than a puddle, but not by much- and a houseboat floated in the middle of it, greening on the sides a bit.

A shirtless man lounged on the back deck, sprawled across a woven polyester beach chair. His uneven tan wasn't helping with the "leathery old piece of shit" look. Neither was the ring of white hair around his bald dome, or the square, serious glasses that harshly reflected the midday sun-- or the crazy fucking music he's blaring. What is that? Delicate, splashy guitar, chanting, flute- Looking at her tape case, it would be easy to understand why Dani thought she had heard it all. It absolutely rules. Maybe mom was onto something with this guy.

"What do you think, Seebs?" She sat on the hood of her car at the edge of the pond. Seebs was too old and too fat to run any risk of him wandering off, and so he was napping there next to her.

"No shot at a phone number, and he looks asleep. You gonna stop me if I start throwing rocks?"

Seebs, ever the enabler, did not answer.

And so Dani threw rocks. If a car passed by she changed from overhand to underhand, as if she were just skipping them for fun- and as soon as the engine noise died down, she was pelting high cheddar down on that little boat's stern.

"GOD DAMN IT STOP THROWING SHIT AT ME" came a distant voice. Suddenly her quarry was standing, hands on his hips- he was wearing khakis.

"MAKE ME!" Dani hollered, laughing. She was really getting into the whole throwing rocks thing. She had almost forgotten why she was doing it, and leaned into the euphoria of throwing something at someone.

Outboard motors kicked on, sputtered, and kicked again, and suddenly the Vanna White II was hacking its way along the pond's surface at eight, even nine miles per hour. Behind the wheel stood, she guessed, a man called Butterbean who came highly recommended.

"--Butterbean? What the hell are you talking about? Sure, I remember Jolene, but- huh?"

"She may have just made it up. I don't know, man. Uh- Doctor Palmer."

"Craig's fine, I'm retired." He crouched and led her through a beaded curtain. After a brief confrontation at the shore of the pond, and the invocation of Jolene DuFresnes as a sort of biblical power-word, he had stopped yelling, she had stopped throwing, and they were safely aboard. Even Seebs, after a little coaxing and hoisting.

"Alright, so be square with me," Craig faced away from her, rolling up his sleeves and turning on the kitchen sink. "Are you at the moment pursued by any federal or state government entity?"

"Not that I know of."

"That you know of?"

"I mean, I'm here because I'm in trouble. Trouble I, uh... ran away from. So I have no idea who knows."

"Well, you sound honest. Kind of a whiner, but honest. I've met worse." He pulled a knife from a block beside the coffee maker and ran it across a steel. "--Say, could you get in the door, there? I need the olives."

The houseboat kitchen was a tad cramped. With the sharpening steel, he gestured sharply at the refrigerator behind her.

"You wouldn't believe what they make you pay for rocoto up here. --Oh, and the queso fresco, too. Made it last night. Bottom shelf, green lid."

Dani hadn't said anything since he called her a whiner. She did open the fridge and retrieve the ingredients. For what, she had no idea. A skillet sizzled, and whatever panic she felt about this pushy old man evaporated into the smell of caramelizing onions.

"Can't get alpaca at all, though. Great sweaters, great cuts. But you get what you can get, am I right? So we're usin' goat. They're both ungulates, right?"

He moved with scary precision- not robotic, and not the moving-too-fast-for-safety chef showboating. He just never seemed to flinch, or miss- everything was perfectly measured, whether chopped vegetables or evened-off mounds of spices in plastic spoons.

He seemed to sniff a lot, Dani couldn't help but notice. He had less a mouth, and more a small pink shelf that held up the weight of a thick white mustache. The mustache did all the talking, really.

Oh no, is he allergic to cats? Or is that thing on his lip just getting the better of him?

"Rocotto Relleno," he said suddenly, "is one of my favorite things about Peru. You ever been?"

"No, I, uh... never left the States. Oh- wait, took a trip to Greece in '91. Last... oogh, last time I went anywhere exciting, actually."

"Well, forget about that. We're talking Peru."

He popped the tab on two yellow soda cans, and poured a pair of glasses. He had the pebbly-textured pizza house plastic cups, even in their classic, maybe only color, red.

"Inca Kola. Cousin to the champagne sodas. Little bit of that bubble gum action. Goes down just like a cold beer when you're enjoying your rocotto."

"What are you doing?" Dani finally shouted, loud enough that even while he was on a roll, Craig had to stop and consider. While he did, his record player filled the silence with more of that spectacular guitar picking.

"Acclimating you," he replied simply. "Because- take it from me- you're gonna be living off this stuff. And me personally, I love it. My time in Puerto Maldonado was a wonder. But who knows? You could have IBS. Might need to put you on a different ship, send you out to Bacolod, have you pretend to be a nun instead."

Dani let her mouth hang open, and squinted long and hard at Craig Palmer. He said nothing, but sniffed as he plated up some very fragrant, very red stuffed peppers, oozing with molten cheese. For once, Dani sniffed too.

"Damn, Craig. You talked me into it." What could she say? She had been living off of fun-size bags of fritos and gas station energy drinks ever since her flight from Eureka.

He reached under a wall panel with his foot and hooked his ankle around a hatch handle. With a tug from bending his knee, he unfolded the dinner table, the collapsible leg beneath it thudding to the linoleum floor.

"Alright. First eat, then talk. While you do, I'm going to drop some information on you. Full mouths don't interrupt."

Couldn't argue with that. Dani dug in- and held back a painfully caucasian spicy shriek- and then the goat, the olives, the spices, the cheese, all came to the rescue. Okay, she thought. I'm going to Peru. Say whatever you want, man, I'm in.

-snif- "I worked for IBM back in the '80s. Even then I wouldn't say I was fresh out of college, a season or two had turned. Termed me right before I could quit. --Can't blame them, I was stealing printer ink for resale. Put that money in the check next time, then.

"Turns out if you steal a little printer ink, you go to jail. If you steal a lot of printer ink, a man in a suit comes and shakes your hand, flashes a little badge, and offers you a job. Guy named Goose."

"Gooth?" Dani's mouth was a little too full.

"Last name Cook. Goose Cook, I shit you not. Had it in the little -snif-badge billfold thing they all wear." The more he spoke, the more he became a Brooklynite. "And he says, 'Palmer, I got your number. But all this goes away if you hand in your research. Gesture of good will. Show the economy you don't mean any harm.'"

He paused to take a bite of his own rocoto, and that's when Dani heard a faint, dry sound that she recognized. A fuzzy old bastard's paw pads, sliding across a smooth surface like a cabinet, or the bathroom door, or the knick-knack shelf.

...Or a turtle.

In the low, circular den of the ship, Seebs was padding and padding- curious, deliberate, and quite insistent, with just his front left paw. His pink-and-gray beans scratchily slid across a domed, groovy shell, unable to find any purchase.

"I think they're making friends," Craig remarked, following Dani's gaze. "Don't worry about Mr. Price." -snif- He's good company."

Dani gave Craig a long, searching look, but didn't say anything. This all still felt more than a little strange. She was apparently going to be expatriating soon, but not before taking a Master's-level course on Peru.

"--Vincent Price. That's my boy. Ahem-" -snif- "Hermann's tortoise. Grecian. You went to Greece, yeah? Anyway, this research- it was dangerous stuff. Not exactly nuclear, but... something we didn't- don't- understand. Playing with fire kind of stuff."

Dani couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at that. Phrasing.

"Anyway, I asked for some time, and used that time to draft 'em up some dud blueprints. Looks legit, but... it's a maze with no exits."

Dani was interested now. She had recently gotten into crime, it would be nice to get advice from an expert.

"Anyway, I wasn't as smart as I looked, and back then, I looked like a real drip. They found out, I ran. It was surprisingly easy- apparently it ain't for everybody. I've never been the strings-attached type, so I guess it just comes natural to keep moving until you get to stop. Hence, Peru. A beautiful land, a spectacular culture, and food, my god, -snif- bury me under a pile of huancaina potatoes and I'll eat my way out or die trying. If you gotta go, you go there. Monologue over."

Dani drank, and sat in silence for a long time. The corner of her mouth twitched uncertainly, and she watched Seebs and Vincent Price continue their little orientation. Price had walled up in his shell, and Seebs was asleep on top. That was something like symbiosis.

"I have killed two men," she eventually said. Her voice was low and grave. She had always been a little brusque, maybe even unladylike, but she was coming close to eulogizing, in her own sort of scratchy, grit-teeth fashion.

"One was named Mark LaGrange, of Chevette Arkansas, and he came to me in a moment of weakness. I opened my mouth to ask his pardon for... god, whatever it was, and when I did, I... exploded him."

"You WHAT?!"

"Give me a second, alright. Then there was... alright, so I got a little out of control. This guy, Sean, Mayor Sean, tried to get me into a gladiatorial match with a weird old man. For... man, I'm hoping it's just for sport. They did mention blood a couple times."

"Beats what they used to do."

"...Eesh. I let his friends- god knows how many local politicians, business dudes, apparently a Pepsi guy was there- go. And the old man, too. I was a little bit, uh..."

"Oh, you had your electrochemistry going, sure."

"So I said some pretty crazy shit. And then, well, I made them give up Sean. Made him watch as they all sold him out. Tried to play nice, but... went a little nuts. Something about him just hurt me. It was like..." Vincent Price. "...Dracula, in a cross factory."

"That's... mm. I'll tell you, but I need to keep it to myself for a minute. I need to keep listening." He was about to go in on his second pepper.

"Alright. Well, I grabbed him by the neck, and just... filled him up with fire. I could have done it any other way. Got my leatherman on me. I didn't stop burning him until there was nothing left for my hands to hold."

"This was something you could control. You manipulated the spread of fire, somehow? --Without tools, though." He furrowed his sharp white brow. "There are -snif- implications, there."

"If you know something I don't, you gotta tell me. They remake the Fantastic Four every few years, so I had my own suspicions. But no, it's not 'big emotions.' It's... near big emotions, but I know that doesn't make sense."

"Try me." He sniffed again and suddenly stood, setting his hands on the edge of the sink. He stared out the window. The horizon had little to offer but trees and a general store, but he looked into it as if he'd find something he hadn't seen before.

"It seems to... go off whenever I want to kill myself."

"Huh?"

"Well- wow, that sounds really bad. I'm not-" She pinched the bridge of her nose and started over. "I can be a real defeatist sometimes. I stay distracted and stay content, because if I get in my own head while it's quiet, I'll drag myself through the mud."

"Jesus, that's awful."

"You get used to it. But... when I... got, Mark, I had just been suspended from work."

"For what?"

"Working too hard. So I was outside smoking, and he doesn't know I'm kicked out, and tries to hassle me about work I was dragged away from, because I do it too often, so that I can be told to go home and miss out on three hundred bucks, during which time I will not be able to do the work, so my section falls behind, and they get a shiny new reason to drag me up to the boss--"

"Hey, hey! Look at me." He whirled around and set his hands firmly on the fold-out dinner table, and stared at her, wide-eyed.

-snif-

"Houseboat. Can't have you burning holes in it. Dani Dufresnes, do not sink my house."

She took a deep breath and nodded, and the fire whirling up between her knuckles receded, leaving trails of black soot on her skin.

"So yeah. Work was bad. And I was mad as hell about it! But when Mark came through to rub my nose in it, whether he knew it or not, I sort of collapsed. Mentally. Had a big pile of junk I had climbed to the top of, and when I realized I was going to have to apologize to this piece of work, I just..."

She closed her eyes. "Decided to jump. Heads, they win, tails, I lose. So to hell with them, and to hell with me. I opened my mouth to say I was sorry for the trouble, and when I did..." She curled up her fingers, then suddenly popped them apart. "Full Zilla. I couldn't stop it, and he sure as hell couldn't live through it. --He didn't deserve that. I don't know about Sean, but Mark didn't deserve that."

They sat together for a long time. There'd be the occasional -snif- or twitch of the mustache, but Craig was well outside of his wheelhouse now.

"Alright. That there, propped up behind the old fridge, is Andrew Carnegie. Now, I- I'm not really comfortable trying to trigger this response, if it works the way you say it does. But if you think you can manifest this effect again, I'm here to record it. A-and look out for you. Scout's honor." He even held up the three fingers.

They had taken Craig's car- a '66 Wagonaire the color of honey mustard that shuddered when you took a turn too sharp. The back seat was taken up by a large cooler and a tacklebox, and Johnny Cash was singing One Piece at a Time in the tape deck.

"I got a place," he had said. "Used to do some machine shop stuff out there. Fire marshal got on my ass last Fourth, thought I was setting off roman candles in the ponderosas."

So they got to his place, a dead-end service road made to reach through the woods and connect society to a lone firetower. He sat on the hood with a camera hanging around his neck and an egg salad sandwich in his hand, waiting for anything.

She stared at the mannequin. It didn't have any hands, or any legs, and the head was a shiny aluminum while the torso was crumbling and white.

It seemed a little too pathetic to kill.

But it was quiet, and that helped. Or hurt, depending on how you looked at it. No music, no birds now that it was closer to sunset, just the occasional creak or distant whistle.

The perfect environment to be extremely unwell.

She didn't talk to herself, not really. There wasn't any Dani-within-Dani, mocking the one on the surface. Thirty years of television brain rot made it more like flipping channels. ShameTV, American Misery Classics, Discover(ing you're a murderer) Channel...

"God, I'm so sorry," she murmured.

And then Andrew Carnegie, the refrigerator underneath him, and about twenty feet of brown, wild grass, exploded.

Craig yelped and snapped photo after photo, burning through the film inside until all he got was click-click-click.

Dani sighed and let her arms hang at her sides. How fun. I'm Jubilee for depression.

"You ever gonna stop clicking that thing?"

"What? I-" His mustache twitched, and he looked at the camera for a moment. Something was still clicking, but he wasn't doing it. He sniffed and ran around to the back of the car, popping the trunk after a quick fight with his keyring.

The clicking grew louder. Dani, worried it was a bomb- because Craig Palmer was still a hard man to trust- kept her place.

"CHRIST ALMIGHTY YOU COULD TALK TO GILGAMESH WITH NUMBERS LIKE THAT."

His distant shouting did little to move her, but that wasn't slowing him down. "SIXTY ZEEN. SIX-OH. REDLINED IT. DANI YOU GOTTA SEE THIS."

Well, if she was being called over by name...

She looked over Craig's shoulder at a machine that filled up most of the Wagonaire's trunk. And it still clicked, it certainly did that.

"I've got to make some calls," he was saying to himself. "Sixty fuckin' zeen. Changes everything we know about predictive model- no prediction needed. Didn't figure out everything, did you, Hoyle? Maybe we call this the "reactive" model? "Ignition" model? Well, it's not a model until I actually do the work, but... sixty zeen."

"Craig, what the hell is zeen? None of this means anything. You sound like Brent Spiner for chrissakes."

"Ah, hell. I can't explain it all right now. No, really. Not being a shithead, this shit is just so..." He raised his arms and pushed at the sky, as if he were holding up an incomplete tent. "...beyond, Dani. It's beyond anything we do around here. Hell, we stopped doing it a century ago because it scared us."

"You're talking around it. Help me understand so I can do something about this. I can't unkill those men, and that's a whole separate problem, but if I can figure out what kind of disease I have, maybe I can treat it. Alright?"

Craig sagged and set his hands on the sides of the machine.

"You're not sick, Dani. You're a singularity. Zeens- Zeners, Zn, they're a measure of the pressure that consciousness puts on the space around us. Back in the thirties or so, there were some experiments at Duke about powering lightbulbs with psychic action. Predict the right card, produce a charge, light goes on. That kind of thing. Nobody really loved it- before all else, it was friggin' impractical- and it left the limelight. Dr. Zener's cards showed up in Ghostbusters, though."

It was a lot to take in, and a lot more to take in and understand. So Dani fell quiet, holding her forehead, and heard the old man out.

"Usually to slide over one dimension, you gotta get really high. Really high. Ayahuaska, coke, mushrooms, DMT. High-capacity, high-priority, high-intentioned, high. And then that open-brainedness and intentionality generates about, eh... seven or eight zeen, as you produce friction against the planes."

She wasn't following, and Craig could tell.

"You just produced the psychic energy of over a half-dozen lifelong meditators taking their first steps out of samsara and into enlightenment. And you did it stone cold sober. No wonder he exploded. Dani, you're the three-dimensional shadow of four-dimensional anger. All this crap you told me about- you didn't just bury it down, you liquefied it into emotional sweet crude!"

"Come on, man."

"Listen. Everything that is, is the same shit. Science is magic is spirituality is math, let's all hold hands, blah, blah. Explain it however you like. I like zeens. They give you a sense of scale. But if you're a living rupture between axial planes, then..."

"I'm really trying, here. So I packed away all my feelings until they got so heavy that something broke, yeah, and it's pressurized- and so... all the time I'm keeping a seal on it."

"And when you loosen the seal- Dani, when you want to die, that's when you can't maintain the seal, and everything comes pouring back through."

It wasn't the whole picture, and she could feel that, but there was comfort in understanding something. She was still a murderer, but it wasn't demonic possession, at least. Eventually they shut the trunk, and were chased out of the old firetower road by a forest ranger who seemed to know Craig by reputation.

"Now, you need to lay low if you're going to Peru. Which, again, I recommend. Learning the language isn't hard, and then there's Vinicunca- rainbow mountain, most gorgeous thing I ever saw. Nothing compares, you're gonna love it. So we gotta have you silent running before you ship off. What kind of work did you do before this?"

"I, uh... well, I worked at a grocery store." She frowned and looked at the horizon. They were passing into town... and then through it, just like that. Craig was going to park the Wagonaire somewhere out of sight and walk back, to keep from getting towed.

"That's great. You're overqualified. There's a Turtlebees about five miles east of here. You pick up some shifts there under some comfortably falsified credentials, and before you know it, bam- Vinicunca."

Turtlebees.

Make it happen here.

God damn it.

<-Prev Next->

#IPYIHGU #dani from my bullshit

4 notes · View notes