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#but. but. but.............. this one is completely a lost cause it feels like
fucktoyfelix · 2 days
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Choking Safety
I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.
First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:
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The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.
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This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.
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You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!
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sunkissedchld · 20 hours
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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃
𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒐𝒏𝒆
the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the clear quartz, pile two is the tiger's eye, and so on and so forth.
take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".
good luck to you, reader 🔮
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈
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Signs:
heavily craving or avoiding physical touch, prominent first house or major first house transits right now, 9/99/999, heavy fire sign placements or embodying fire sign energy recently (or needing to), archangel gabriel, heavy sagittarius and/or cancer energy, mercury, uranus
Shufflemancy: 
“Confessions” by Usher
“Lost Without U” by Robin Thicke
“Insecure” by Amare La Negra
“ICONIC” by Aespa
“3RACHA” by Stray Kids
Cards:
Ace of Cups, Page of Wands (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx), Broom, Knight of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Magician
Reading: 
It feels like there’s two camps of people for this pile: those with project ideas in mind for work or for their own personal lives and those interested in a potential crush or relationship. I’ll try to give examples for both and keep things semi-neutral, but sometimes things aren’t always that clean, so apply to your situation as needed. 
You may feel excited about this new project or relationship. You’re excited about potential prospects and have all these ideas running in your mind about how to go about things or how things will turn out, but this excitement is actually proving to be unhelpful or detrimental in a sense. Excitement with the right work ethic and listening ears can be a blessing, but without direction and input from others can cause you flail. It seems you could be rushing into things and trying to make pieces fit where they don’t so to speak. You could be thinking your plan is perfect and if everything just went the way you wanted, then all would be great, but this isn’t true. You need to get rid of this idea of you being this know-it-all who knows exactly what’s happening right now. 
For those of you who are used to always pursuing and making things happen; you need to step back and allow the universe to play out its wants. You could be the type of person who thinks they have to sacrifice everything in order to be happy or live comfortably, and the truth is that is not the case. You can have a balance between your work life and romantic or personal one; it’s okay to love working and coming up with all these ideas, but you also need to learn how to get comfortable with being with others and yourself outside of that professional, work-minded setting. 
For those of you who sit in the background and are a little more lazy, the opposite is true in that you need to step into taking control of your own life instead of leaving decisions and everything else up to the universe or other people around you. you could be too hedonistic and concerned about personal connections to the point where you put your livelihood and financial security at risk. In both instances, a need to balance is present. Also for both instances, there’s an emphasis on spending a little bit of time with yourself to determine in which way you need to expand and in which way you need to pull back from some of your habits. 
This pursuit versus lackadaisical attitude can also be applied to pursuing relationships. Some of you are constantly on the look for this person you’re interested in, or you’re always thinking of how you want to be in a relationship or how you can get into one when you need to step back and let it come to you when you need it. Others of you are acting as if you’re completely out of the game and are putting in no effort to create and maintain relationships when the reality is humans are interactive creatures, and you too need interaction! Again, a balance is needed for those this aligns with. 
Ultimately, you can have whatever it is you want: the lead on the project, the relationship, the good work ethic, the hedonistic lifestyle, but you also need to balance that with what it is you’re avoiding. The perfect recipe or spell concoction isn’t made with too much of any one ingredient. Everything has to work together in order for so-called perfection to be derived.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈
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Signs:
lack of sight, “going in blind”, prominent twelfth house placements or transits, heavy pisces placements or energy, 1212, venus, 3/33/333, “i’m walking on sunshine”; “i’m trying to ascend”; “i’m crucified like my savior; saint-like behavior”
Shufflemancy: 
“in my head” by Ariana Grande
“Cry Baby” by Megan Thee Stallion (feat. DaBaby)
“Say My Name (Live)” by Beyoncè
“Emotional Bruises” by Madison Beer
“Streets Is Callin’” by B2K
Cards:
Page of Wands (Rx), Page of Pentacles, The Chariot, Ace of Swords, Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles, Good Luck Charm
Reading: 
Those choosing pile two might be in an intermittent state currently. Previously, you could’ve felt like you were on top of the world with everything set in stone, but now you’ve lost your footing, and you can’t necessarily figure out why. You might’ve started a project or new endeavor, and now you’re running into unexpected troubles which are making you want to give up. 
You might be someone who is obsessive about the things they want; you need everything to turn out exactly how you pictured it - to the point of refusing to be happy with anything less or slightly different even if the bulk of what you want is given to you. When you do encounter differences (or what you’d consider roadblocks), you have a habit of abandoning things or believing you must’ve messed up in some way – even when that’s not the case! You get so focused on “fixing” things that you forget to be appreciative of what you do accomplish. 
It seems you recognize you’re on some sort of journey, and you’re excited to do so much; you have so many ideas you want to pursue that sometimes you confuse yourself about what to do. In some ways, an abundance of choices is confusing you. You could inherently know that you likely can’t pursue everything (or that you shouldn’t), but your curiosity is getting the best of you. For some of you, I feel like some of these illusionary good choices have already come forward, and you’ve figured out the hard way that not every choice available to you is a good one. 
Those of pile two are being called to do a few things. One is to be patient and listen to yourself. Again, you can have all these ideas about what you want to do, but you need to figure out a way to “be still” and concentrate your energy on what’s best for you. You don’t have to be making moves or plans all the time; I know being told to meditate can feel frustrating, but the truth is that it’s hard to make good decisions without fully thinking them through. This act of listening to your inner self does not have to be done completely alone though (although parts of it should be). Don’t be afraid to ask friends, your guides, or other people around you for advice or help. Talk through your ideas, work with others to achieve them – you might see more success creating a community as opposed to acting totally alone. 
Overall pile two, things will work out for you depending on how you act and whether or not you listen. If you keep pursuing things faster than you’re ready to, then you can expect rude awakenings about needing to slow down and think before acting. If you take the time to get in tune with yourself and determine what it is you truly should be going after, then you can expect better outcomes and results.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈
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Signs:
9/99/999, feeling sick recently, not trusting yourself, “don’t trust yourself”, uranus prominence, the color red, lack of fight, dogma, fire dominance or being drawn to fire, 3/33/333, swords, prominent air energy or dominance, 6/66
Shufflemancy: 
“Right Here” by Alex Aiono
“Princess Going Digital” by Amaarae
“King’s Dead” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock, Future, & James Blake)
“Muwop” by Latto (feat. Gucci Mane)
“Die A Little Bit” by Tinashe (feat. Ms Banks)
Cards:
Six of Swords, Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Five of Swords, The World, Nine of Wands, Temperance, The Tower, Ten of Cups (Rx), Ace of Swords
Reading: 
I think this pile is mainly for those thinking about or experiencing a romantic situation – not everyone will be, so don’t be alarmed because the overall message will be able to be applied regardless of whether romance is in your life right now or not. Those who chose this pile may be the type to close themselves off from others; in a lot of ways you’re hiding your light and existence from people who would appreciate and celebrate you. You could be someone who has social anxiety or worries often about the way people perceive you; you might find it hard to make friends or to establish relationships (romantic, platonic, maybe even familial) where you feel comfortable revealing your authentic self to others. 
You’re being called to leave this unsure part of yourself behind. You could be insecure when it comes to interacting with others – maybe you have a stutter or there’s some other factor that impacts your speech or how comfortable you feel when talking to people. For some of you, you may not understand what makes you special or what would draw people to you as a person, but Six of Wands in the deck I have says, “you’re kind of a big deal, so start acting like it!”. Even if you can’t see your own beauty, draw, or light other people can and want to connect with you because of it and because of who you portray yourself to be. 
Going back to relationships and trying to make connections with others, you may be someone who always thinks the worst of people. You may often think, “no one will like me”; “I won’t be able to make friends here”; “I’m not interesting enough”; “all my relationships go to shit in some way, so why try”, and the advice to you is “you can’t be right all of the time”. The worst possible outcome is not the only outcome. There’s almost a guarantee that if you get out of your comfort zone and be intentional in establishing relationships with people, then you may find the outcomes you fear so much won’t happen. “You have to give people the chance to show you they’re not like the people who have been in your life previously”. 
There’s an emphasis on the fact that you’re still standing even though you may have experienced times when you didn’t think you would keep going. The only/main thing holding you back right now is not your guides or the universe or the people around you or some outside evil force that you think only has it out for you – you are imposing limitations on yourself because of your fear of being hurt again. Although you’re being urged to try and pursue relationships out of your own volition; it’s important to note that some people are coming forward regardless. You must get rid of this idea that you’re unlikeable or unlovable, and you’ll likely have a Tower moment regarding your idea of and the way you act in relationships soon.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕
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Signs:
the color purple, feeling restless or tired, sun dominance or needing to go out in the sun, prominent capricorn, libra, and/or gemini placements, red orange/blood orange, second house placements or transits, “trust yourself”, artemis, poseidon, water dominance or working with water, hades
Shufflemancy: 
“libidO” by OnlyOneOf
“Focus” by H.E.R
“Victory” by Yolanda Adams 
“UGOMDN” by chlothegod
“Star Lost” by Stray Kids
Cards:
Page of Pentacles (Rx), Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch (Rx), Queen of Swords, Page of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands (Rx), The Lovers (Rx), Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups. Judgment
Reading: 
The message for those of you who chose pile four is going to be a little harsh – just as a disclaimer. Your guides may be at their wits end in trying to tell you nicely or in trying to contact you in general, so this could be a message you’ve been ignoring or not understanding for a while. This could be a lesson you keep running into; I heard “you’re tired? We’re tired too”, so take that as it resonates. This pile also feels adjacent to pile two because some of the same cards came out, but I think this pile is for those of you who have little time to make your decision to change your ways because you’ve already been warned multiple times. 
At your core, you embody the Queen of Swords; you may be quick-witted, steadfast in your knowledge of who you are and what you want, outspoken, and independent to a fault, but currently these attributes are manifesting in the most negative ways. Currently, you could be acting childish and “rotten”; I’m reminded of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You’re so stuck in this idea of how you want things to play out and what you want that you’ve backed yourself into a situation where you come off as immature and lazy if things don’t go your way. What seems to be coming through is “oh, you’re stubborn? We can be stubborn too”. 
Your guides are wanting you to loosen up and be open to experiencing what’s thrown to and/or given to you. You have the ultimate control over your life, but I’m seeing some of you specifically asked for your guides’ help and aid, so if you want it, then you have to listen to their suggestions also. Your work with them is not a one-way affair, so stop treating it as such. They are not magic genies who are to drop everything and give you everything you want at your beck and call. I heard “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” which could be related to your need to control things. 
The advice of this reading is really to be mindful of how you're treating your guides and your intentions in your journey with them. For one, you’re shouldering too much responsibility to the point where you’re burning yourself out. It is not possible to go through life all by yourself with no help or input from anyone else. It’s also not possible to have a relationship with your guides and never listen to them or treat them like they’re your servants. If you keep running into obstacles and misfortunes going on your own, then maybe try their way for a while and see how it works for you. 
Overall pile four, your guides want to work with you. They want to provide you with abundance and see you prosper and above all happy, but if you refuse to listen, then you will keep stumbling.
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vbecker10 · 8 hours
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I Don't Hate You
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: You've worked at SHIELD for years and you were severely injured by Loki when he escaped from his cell on the helicarrier. It's been a year since the attack on NY and one day you finally cross paths with Loki after a month of him actively avoiding you.
Warning: Loki being upset, Loki feeling guilty, Loki feeling like he deserves to be hated, brief mentions of Loki's torture, previous injury caused by Loki... this will have a fluffy end, promise 💚
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You shift positions to get more comfortable on the couch then turn the page of your book. I might be able read this whole book tonight, you think excitedly. The Tower was quiet which was a rare occurrence, the whole team decided to go out for drinks so you have the library to yourself. After a moment, you turn the next page but suddenly you feel as if you aren't alone.
Looking up, you see Loki standing in the doorway as if he is frozen with anxiety. He briefly makes eye contact with you and turns to leave.
"Wait," you sit up, closing your book in your lap. "You can stay," you offer and he turns back to face you. "There's plenty of space," you gesture towards the other empty couch.
"I wouldn't want to disturb you," he says, shaking his head as he remains halfway between the hall and the room.
You sigh quietly, that's the first thing he's said to you in the month since you've been back from medical leave. Loki had become almost an expert in avoiding you, the closest you had come to being in the same room with him was during a briefing last week. As soon as you took your seat at the table, he excused himself and left.
He nods in response to your offer to join you but doesn't say anything. He quietly makes his way over to the large bookcases that line the wall and begins to search for a book. You try to focus on where you left off in yours but you can't seem to take your eyes off him. He seems so nervous around you and although you aren't sure what you expected from him, this wasn't it.
He selects a book and walks to the far end of the other couch, glancing towards you as he sits. You both quickly look away from each other and try to settle into your books. After a few minutes of silence he sighs and closes the book. You pretend to continue reading as you watch him return his book and begin the process of selecting one again.
"Can't decide what to read?" you ask after a moment.
He turns, his expression clearing showing that he doesn't expect you to speak to him. He shrugs, "I've read all of these..." He looks at the book he is currently holding, "Some more then a few times."
"Oh," you look at the tall, full shelves. There must be four hundred books in this room. "Wow," you react honestly.
"I read quickly," he offers a simple explanation.
"Why don't you get new ones?" you ask as if the solution is obvious.
He puts the book he is holding away and looks down at the ground, "I'm not permitted to leave the Tower unless its for a mission." He pulls a seemingly random book from the shelf and walks over to the closest seat on the other couch this time.
"Right, I forgot I guess," you suddenly feel awkward for suggesting it.
Loki was given strick orders not to leave the Tower after an incident a few months before you returned from medical leave. He had gone to a small Cafe with his brother in the morning and ended up on the news a few hours later. According to the reports you watched from rehab, he had been on line waiting for his order when a woman who lost her husband during his attack on NYC came in. She walked over to him and started screaming that he was a monster and should be rotting in a cell on whatever planet he came from. Thor tried to defuse the situation while Loki remained completely silent. Her rant finally ended when she threw some bystanders coffee at him and he left.
The two of you sit in silence for a minute then you suddenly get an idea. "Oh," you say and he looks up from the book he has no interest in.
"I think I have something that can help," you tell him. You limp slowly towards him as you unlock your phone. Sitting next to him, you feel self conscious when he shifts away from you, his eyes fixed on the metal brace supporting your leg.
His jaw tightens and his body tenses as he rubs his hands slowly together. You clear your throat, hoping to distract him from your injury and it works. He looks at you, "Here," you hand him your phone.
"What is this?" he asks.
"Its the New York Public Library," you tell him, "Well, their website at least."
He looks at you a bit confused. "What am I supposed to do with this? I'm not allowed to go to the library," he says.
"You don't need to go," you tell him with a smile. "They can bring the books here."
"I wonder why no one told you about this. They've had this for years," you say.
His eyes fill with excitement at the thought of being able to get new books. You explain the book delivery program then show him how to search for books by author, title or genre. His smile spreads as you sign him up for a library card then sit back to watch him scroll through a long list of poets.
The smile leaves his face and he admits, "I never told anyone that I had run out of books."
"Why not?" you ask.
"No one would care," he answers instantly.
When you don't say anything, he looks up from your phone and briefly makes eye contact with you. "I don't understand why you of all people would care enough to help me, to be honest. I have done nothing to deserve even the smallest kindness from you," he says as his eyes fall to your injured leg again. The joy you had seen on his face moments ago has faded completely and in a low voice he says, "I nearly killed you."
With a sigh, he nods, "I remember everyone I've hurt... or killed."
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in topics but say, "I thought you remembered me."
"Can we just talk for a minute?" you ask, standing with him.
You gently reach out and touch his knee, causing him to jump at the sudden contact. "I'm sorry," he says as soon as you touch him. "I should go," he tells you and he gets up.
He shakes his head. "I'm not supposed to be alone with you," he admits. "Fury wants me as far from my..." he clears his throat, "victims as possible while I am here."
He looks torn about what to do but finally nods and sits down heavily. You sit next to him again but he doesn't look at you, his eyes are fixed on his hands. His knee shakes nervously and you realize he's waiting for you to lash out at him as so many people have in the wake of the attack.
"I- I didn't realize he did that," you say in shock. "I thought you were just avoiding me because of... well because of what happened."
He shrugs but doesn't respond, giving you the feeling that he might still have distanced himself from you even if he wasn't ordered to do so.
You bite your lip and say, "I'm sure Fury means well but... I just want to talk to you. If that's okay with you?"
You had imagined this moment so many times over the last year. What you would say to him and how he would react. You look at him even as he avoids looking at you and say, "I just want to to know, I don't hate you for what happened."
He shakes his head as if he doesn't believe you and says, "You should hate me, everyone does."
"I don't," you tell him simply.
He finally looks at you, a mixture of disbelief and curiosity in his eyes, "How could you not after what I did to you and so many others?"
You sigh and admit, "I used to hate you."
"But... but not anymore?" he asks.
You take a deep breath, this is the part you practiced telling him most often. "When I was in the hospital, I did hate you. I hated you more then I ever thought I could possibly hate another person. I wanted you to feel the pain and fear you inflicted on me when you were escaping. I wanted you to suffer after every surgery, after every fall I had in rehab, after every doctor told me I would never walk without some sort of brace," you tell him honestly and he nods as if he agrees with you.
You pause for a moment and wait for him to look at you again, "It was truly exhausting."
He doesn't say anything but he keeps eye contact with you. "It took so much energy to hate to," you tell him. "It was draining me."
"A few months after my first surgery, I had some of the agents I'm friends with being over your case files and I watched all your news interviews," you continue to explain.
"Why?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.
"I wanted to know if you were as evil as everyone said, if you were really a monster from another world who deserved to be hated," you tell him.
"I am a monster," he says, his eyes lowering to the ground in front of him.
His body tenses as soon as you mention Thanos's name. His eyes widen in fear and he says, "What do you know about- how could you know that? My SHIELD files doesn't contain any information about him."
"No," you tell him, touching his arm lightly and he looks up at you slowly. "You're not a monster, you're a victim of Thanos."
You fidget nervously at his reaction and say, "I... I found the restricted files SHIELD has about you, the ones with your interview-"
He gets up suddenly, his voice laced emotion but you are unsure if he is angry, hurt or embarrassed, "You read that?"
You nod, "I'm sorry-"
"No one was supposed to be able to access that. Fury said it would be sealed, that was why I agreed to tell my brother what happened," he says as he paces. He turns to face you and you can see he is holding back tears, "You shouldn't have read that. I don't want anyone to know what he did to me."
You had read all twenty six pages of the typed transcripts and listened to hours of Loki detailing his torture to Thor. He spoke about being physically hurt but also about being mentally broken by the mad titan. He lost track of time, unsure if weeks, months or years had passed while he was under Thanos's control. By the time you finished listening to his account of what happened, you had lost every ounce of hate you once harbored for him. He was more a victim than anyone.
You take a step towards him and he takes a step back, shaking his head. You reach for his hand and he lets you hold it without pulling away. "Loki," he looks at you, the first tear running down his cheek. "I'm sorry Thanos tortured you," you tell him honestly.
He shakes his head as if he can't accept your words.
You take another step towards him, still holding his hand in yours. "I'm sorry he hurt you," you say again and this time he doesn't move away from you.
"No one..." he tries to take a deep breath, "No one has ever said that to me before."
Now it's your turn to be shocked, "Not even your brother?"
He shakes his head and without thinking, you wrap your arms around him tightly. His whole body stiffens in response at first but slowly, he lifts his arms to hug you back and his body relaxes against yours. He rests his head on your shoulder and you rub his back gently.
You hold him until he slowly pulls away. Taking his hand again, you lead him back to the couch.
"You didn't deserve anything that he did to you," you tell him. When he looks at you, you can't help but raise your hand, wiping a tear from his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your soft touch.
He opens his eyes after a moment and quietly says, "Thank you Y/N. I'm so tired of everyone hating me. I never thought anyone would ever try to understand what happened to me."
You smile at him and quickly kiss his cheek, which is a surprise to both of you. "What was that for?" he asks, a small laugh escapes him.
He smiles and nods, "Can you do it again?"
"I don't know," you admit with a nervous giggle, "I just... It felt like something I should do. I'm sorry, was that okay?"
You smile and kiss his cheek again, "Is that making you feeling better?"
"For the first time in a very long time, yes," he says.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚
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minghaoslatina · 2 days
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12:31 am ✰ JONGHO
now playing 🎧 goodnight n go by ariana grande
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You and Jongho just finished watching a movie, and as usual, you find that you both don't want to say goodbye just yet. You suggest heading to a nearby convenience store to grab some snacks and drinks. As you browse the aisles, you notice Jongho grabbing multiple bags of Haribo gummy bears, and you can't help but tease him about it.
"For someone who claims to hate sugar, you sure look like you need it," you joke, causing him to chuckle.
Jongho then playfully points out your addiction to strawberry milk, and you both laugh. You decide to grab two small cartons of strawberry milk, and Jongho pays for the snacks and drinks.
As you walk out of the store, you can't help but feel grateful for these little moments with Jongho, even if it means sacrificing a bit of sleep.
As the night continues, you and Jongho continue to chat and snack while walking towards your college dorm. You can sense that the time has come to say goodnight, as you have an early class and Jongho has an early schedule. You both stand facing each other in front of your dorm with bittersweet smiles.
"I hate this part," you say, taking Jongho's hand. He brings your hand closer to him and gently kisses the back of it.
"I'll be completely free next week," Jongho reminds you, handing you a bag of gummy bears to keep. You nod in agreement, "Okay, text me when you get home, please."
Jongho nods his head, and you can see a hint of reluctance in his eyes. "Goodnight, handsome," you tease, knowing his face always gets red whenever you use an endearing nickname.
"Goodnight," Jongho shyly replies, looking away with a grin. You both stay rooted to your spots, not ready to see each other leave, even if it's only for a few days.
Suddenly, the door to your dorm opens, revealing your best friend. "Say goodnight and go, love birds," she teases and drags you inside. You both repeat "goodnight" to one another as Jongho slowly walks backward, not wanting to leave just yet. The moment is filled with a sense of longing and a desire to stay together just a little longer.
You find yourself standing at the door, watching Jongho walk away. As he turns to leave, you wave goodbye, your heart overflowing with love. Your best friend notices the lovestruck expression on your face and grins knowingly. You feel a rush of emotions as you slowly close the door and lean against it. You can't help but recall all the sweet moments you have shared with Jongho, from the first time you met to the most recent conversation you had.
As Jongho walks back to his dorm, he gazes up at the starry sky, lost in his thoughts of you. The sound of your sweet voice echoes in his mind, and he can't help but smile as he remembers the sound of your laughter. The memory of your touch lingers on his skin, and he longs to be with you again.
In the quiet of the night, both of you whisper the words you have held back for so long, "I love you." The words feel weightless and heavy at the same time, and you can't wait to say them out loud to each other.
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
a/n 💌
jongho has been bias wrecking me so bad since coachella, so I had to write this!! 🤭 I hope it was okay 🫶🏼 I’m about to post my short seonghwa fic <3
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mrsbsmooth · 2 days
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I’ve been so turned off by what fusebox has been putting out lately that I haven’t even opened the app in a year or so, but I’m glad that people seem to be liking s8 so far!
I’m super curious to know how you would rank it against past seasons and what your thoughts are overall ❤️
RANK? YOU WANT ME TO RANK THEM
hjeslafhajsdkfgsdj
omg okay. way to make my night. I'm supposed to be writing. Let's fucking gooooooo.
[Noting based on my recent post, this is my ranking for if you're pursuing a male LI. WLW rankings would be very different].
So, to me, I think there are two main criteria that define a season: Love Interests and Gameplay.
Love Interests can be further broken down into:
Sprite Design: How good they look overall as a cast. Are they proportionate? Unique?
Variety: How different/unique are they to previous seasons? Are they all models and carpenters and finance bros?
Fandom Impact: This one is silly and subjective. Are people still talking about them years later? Do they have fanfics and art? If you don't know this person, are you missing out?
Gameplay can be further broken down into:
Quality of Plot Drama: How it's written, how impactful it is. Is it stupid manufactured shit, or is it important and moves the game along? (Cherrygate? Great drama. Suresh wanting to 'give Lulu a chance' after he'd been all in for us? Shitty, awful drama).
Challenges: Are they engaging and interesting? Do they move the plot along?
Replayability: Are there enough unique aspects in the routes that you feel the need to replay?
So, based on these two criteria, I assigned rankings to each season, with Season 2 being the best that fusebox can possibly do. (We already know that it is).
These are completely subjective, but this is what I came up with.
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Some brief explanations:
Season 1:
Not the best art style, but overall the proportions were spot on, the body shapes and types were different and unique. Personalities top tier (Tim? Jake? sigh.) Cherrygate, dunking challenge etc.
Season 2:
The best the fandom can do in terms of consistent art style, poses, challenges and replayability. Every route is unique. Characters are overhwhelmingly gorgeous. Some may not like the drama, but I think it's just enough.
Season 3:
I thought things were ranked too high but then remember Tai? Rafi? AJ? The waterfall date, the water balloon and tent challenges that meant something and caused drama?
Season 4:
Lost points for the NaJamUno character merge, but gained points for Youcef and Oliver. Great characters, poor challenges and drama points. Dylangate was dumb and so was making us sleep on the daybeds.
Season 5:
The less said the better. But the sprites were hot af.
Season 6:
The great character merge was atrocious. But the drama from Casa, the Marshall&Ozzy plotline, and HAMISH oh my god, he gets a bonus point for drama all on his own.
Season 7:
Personally very forgettable season. Some of the sprites were lovely. Evan was a highlight and he's gorgeous. But given how quickly everyone forgot about this season, it's loowww.
Season 8:
Gets a high ranking for fandom impact purely based on the immense amount of art and interest that's come about this season. Even with up to a half-point deduction to account for recency bias, this season ranks highly.
This gives us an updated ranking of:
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Third? THIRD? Season 8 is THIRD?!?!?
This gives us an average season rating of 6.4. We could remove the outliers, but we're trying to plot how good each season is against the average, so let's not. If we then plotted this and threw in a bar to show the average:
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It says the only seasons that are 'above average' are Seasons 1, 2, and 8. Which, honestly, given my adoration for Bruno, Ciaran, and Lewie, rude. How dare I hurt myself with my own chart!!!!!
I'm sure one of the maths people could do something statistically significant and make this fully mathematically valid, but this is just me latching on to a silly ask and being an idiot about it.
I like S8 a lot. It's worth playing.
In other words:
Yes. Play it.
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foxes-that-run · 1 day
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But Daddy I Love Him
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Daddy I love him is an Ariel quote, when Ariel gives up her voice for love. Taylor has given up love for her voice (career), but also not spoken up for what she wants most. But Daddy I Love Him is a continuation of a theme of how fame and fandoms have affected Taylor's personal life. What I love about this song is it sounds like an older Taylor Swift song, she embraces a country sound and speaks her mind.
While the parallels to the reaction to a relationship in May 2023 can be seen, this overlooks much of her experience with this behaviour. I don't mean to say it is not an element, but it is far from a complete story to say it is about ending a 3 week relationship with someone about whom she also said "And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive" on the same record.
In her NYU Graduation address in May 2022 Taylor had part of the concept in this already swirling in her mind, a full year before she dated Matty Healy:
Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability. 
What Taylor is referring to is the treatment by the media and fandoms throughout her career, but this was never more of an issue than 2012-2014. Nothing is a terrifying as a teenager on fledgeling social media. This TikTok creator describes it perfectly:
From tabloids, twitter, tumblr, even people who looked like Taylor were abused.
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So yes, Harry has had and worn t-Shirt with the song title for years, and yes they have both dressed up as Ariel. But that is not all that makes this song about Taylor loosing her love over fan behaviour... it's because she did. She lost the love she wrote 1989 including "This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark"  about. And it continues today, there are a lot of people who still call Harry's partners vile names and think it is OK to treat others poorly because they suggest he could care for someone. I think anyone who's read this far knows exactly what I mean, probably first hand.
This affected Taylor the point the Clean Speeches on the 1989 Tour were on this topic, every night she talked about bullying, self worth and holding onto love.
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The 'Daddy' is not just the fans and media, but probably her team also. I think the varied shapes in the CDs are to show this comes in many forms and roles, not just one experience. As Taylor said to Rolling Stone in 2014 before 1989 was released:
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Lyrics
[Verse 1] I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, “What a mess” I just learned these people try and save you ‘Cause they hate you
For the international fans like myself 'How the West was Won' is a 1960's film about American colonisation. I think the opening 2 lines do 2 things, place us in a country setting and also tell us Taylor cares more about speaking her mind than what may be higher bigger goals.
The second half of this verse goes on to set out that it is fans who are approaching her love lost as trauma porn, and I am here for it.
I also note the cage reference, Taylor (and Harry) have a long theme of being caged or trapped by fame, she has a literal cage in her Nashville apartment, he has a cage tattoo and they have used cage, glass boxes, fishbowls, snowglobe imagery. Here she points out the fans are not really there for her, they are seeking to control her.
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[Pre-Chorus 1] Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted
The pre-chorus furthers that the final straw has been broken, she's been cornered by fans to give up something she cares for.
Vigante Shit "Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun /The lady simply had enough"
Is It Over Now? "I was hoping you’d be there and say the one thing I’ve been wanting, but no"
That is the only time Taylor has sung about ‘wanting one thing' before. This also reminds me of the Delicate Behind the Scenes, where she said she got a note from a lover and wants to be with him but realises 'it can never be him'
[Chorus] Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Scrеaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through thе fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want
In the chorus Taylor acts out a churlish child yelling at a father. The 'daddy' is many roles, her actual parents, fans, media and probably record company and PR people who told her she could be with the one she loved, throughout her life. She says the matching line to Harry's Kiwi, which has the same meaning.
Taylor 'floors it through the fences, fed up and unwilling to listen. This is great imagery, to break through fences, and also as metaphorical fences that have been placed around what considered acceptable for her. Cars are also a Haylor theme, including Run below and often used as a metaphor for their love escaping as it is here. (All I know is that you drove us off the road / Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds)
Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?
Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go
In Kiwi Harry yells a tabloid line followed with it's none of your business. In his Harry's House ONO complete with pointing at the camera and crowd. Taylor also referenced these same tabloids headlines in the Reputation magazine.
Kiwi "I'm having your baby / It's none of your business"
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[Verse 2] Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means Not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall
In the second verse Taylor establishes that she has gone everything asked of her:
Style - "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"
Style - "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"
Yet is denied freedom and the elders decree the match is unsuitable. I think the elders are her team. She describes the muse as chaos and revelry. This is very reminiscent of the I Knew You Were Trouble introduction poem, but while in 2012 Taylor was contrite and said it was too much she now revels in the revelry:
"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him it was losing me"
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[Pre-Chorus 2] “Stay away from her” The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love
The 'daddy' has now forbidden the love, this is reminiscent of Love Story: "And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”
[Chorus] And I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through the fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want
'Crazy' and Madness are a Haylor theme, particularly in the Blank Space music video, and these lyrics
Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"
Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"
But many more songs:
[Post-Chorus 1] I’ll tell you something right now I’d rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name It’s mine alone to disgrace I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing
I love the last line, vipers dressed in empaths clothing, that is exactly what they are.
[Bridge] God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain’t gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice
The only time Taylor has described someone as wild in lyrics is in Style "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"
Afterglow "Chemistry until it blows up"
I love the end of the bridge, elsewhere on the record Taylor describes her long term relationship as grey, staid and boring. For many years some fans have shoehorned this person into lyrics because they want to see themselves in her, as they settle down they want her too. From my point of view some rather loud warning signs in songs were overlooked, or seen as 'she's remembering the past/when they first got together' to avoid accepting she was unhappy and wanted out.
Out of the Woods "The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"
[Verse 3] There’s a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But fuck ’em, it’s over
This verse is where I think it becomes clear than the 2023 lens is at best reminding Taylor of a past love, because that relationship never came back. Matty has said they never dated in 2014, there was no controversy around her attending concerts then. They dated for a few weeks then stopped talking, and of story.
However Harry and Taylor did sing about a hidden relationship for years. In fact Taylor wasn't connected to anyone else in a serious way for three years. In particular
Wildest Dreams: I said, “No one has to know what we do”
This Love "This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh"
I know places : "Somethin' happens when everybody finds out / See the vultures circling, dark clouds" and "we're bulletproof I know places (Hide) and you know for me, it's always you"
…Ready For It?: "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know"
I Know Places TV's lyric video for got a very TTPD themed look.
[Final Chorus] Now I’m dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I’m his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? And, no, you can’t come to the wedding I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want
Taylor is asking her fans, parents, media if they have grown up, from when they were teenagers playing with her real life, do they have perspective and willing to accept that she loves someone of her choosing?
And no, they can't come to the wedding, but I bet they have Eras Tour tickets....
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kimmkitsuragi · 2 years
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hm
#ah im not in a bad mood rn honestly but i cant stop thinking this#i say 'i need to get out' and okay great i guess but feels like every place in this world is also going towards a shittier future 😭#so like. where tf do i even go. i mean ive been basically thinking anywhere is better than this#which is TRUE still. imo#but also it is such a big and scary decision and i wanna do it right and i mean i dont even know if i will be able to do any of this sjdjd#yet here i am worrying abt these things every day#like. are Most places in the world a better option than what i have rn? probably yes 😭#but i dont knowwwwwww i dont know anything abt the world and living and stuff like. everything sucks forever can i pls get some rights pl#i sometimes think i developed some kind of a Stockholm syndrome with this country lmao#like. yes everything is incredibly terrible yet sometimes i just sit down and think#like why even try to get out. life is kinda tolerable here and it's not That Bad (lies)#anyway feeling very hashtag fleabag rn like wont anyone PLEASE tell me exactly what i should do in life. thank you.#i wish i wasnt born in a country where i have to question the possibility of living an Okay Life every day#and as i said I KNOW things are going pretty bad all around the world rn and so many more terrible things are happening#but. but. but.............. this one is completely a lost cause it feels like#anyway!!! i said i wasnt in a bad mood and it's true but i just had to come here and be a doomer sometimes#🗒#neg#i dont even know wtf will happen about any of this and i have to make Decisions and yeah. 👍 yeah#it's okay it's normal it's fine (i dont even know i'll be able achieve anything and even if i do how tf will i have the money to pay and-)#( do i even want this can i even do it do i even deserve this-)
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snug-gyu · 5 months
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nightfallsystem · 2 days
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u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.
just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity
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batz · 11 months
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realizing its almost been 6 months since top surgery:)
#frank.txt#despite all the complications i had w healing im rlly happy w how my chest looks:)#ALTHOUGH. ONE BIG COMPLAINT#i used to use my bras as an extra pocket for my phone or lighter or whatever. but now i dont wear bras and therefore have no extra pocket#:( u win some u lose some :(#anyway all shirts look awesome on me now AND i can wear t shirts w funny text or image ans ppl wont feel awkward reading it:)#also the scars r fading rlly well! they almost blend in w my skin completely! (keyword almost. theyr still visible atp)#the way the scars r shaped is interesting bc theyre like a U shape. but bc of that when i inevitably build my pectoral muscles#the scars should blend into the shadow caused by thr muscle. i also dont have a Completrly flat chest bc im fat:0#tbh my surgeon did rlly well . i have a lot of problems with him bc hes kind of a dick but from like. idk an artistic standpoint hes good#but the doctor standpoint hes Uhm. well i lost a nipple and had severe infection due to denied antibiotics and lack of aftercare#BUT. the lost nipple isnt visible and it looks normal now somehow AND. i didn't die from the infection so. I mean#i just had to spend christmas with a fever of 103 LMAO#HONESTLY THO i would do it again EVEN if i knew i would go thru hell bc this surgery fuckn saved my life holy shit#i didnt realize just how much i dissociated from my own body bc of dysphoria. now i feel more in touch with it and happy!:)#also now i can Eventually get that chest tattoo i wanted for like 7 years lmao#erm yippee:)
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randomnameless · 8 months
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Does that mean Mercie and Supreme Leader could be distant cousins potentially? Guess it might be an idea in that 10000 year lore.
You have no idea how many cans of worm this AU opens anon -
AU where Dimi marries Mercie, and the resulting Blaiddyd heir has... a crest of Seiros :(
No one understands why, maybe it's a Hresvelg curse for destroying Adrestia?
With time, the Crest of Seiros is known as the Crest of Hresvelg (to Rhea's chagrin) and is now seen, in the Kingdom's folk legends, as a curse that befell humanity when it became too greedy.
AU where it's Papa Martritz's line that is a branch line from the Hresvelg House -
Ionius not managing to roll for crested heirs with his different wives jumped on the occasion to destroy House Martritz (even if it has a heir! in the over, but it exists still!) and put an end to eventual pretenders to the Imperial throne, if his "lady friends" can't give him an adequate crested heir :(
And even if the baby survives, it has a chance of not getting a crest of Seiros, and by virtue of not being a noble born baby, people might believe it's just a random bastard and not a legitimate threat to his dynasty
(Imagine if Baron Bartels got his seiros crested bby with Mercie though - hopefully, Emile made sure that plan would never see fruition!)
Ultimate combination AU : Mercie and Emile can tolerate Zanado fruits
Just like Constance!
Somehow, before being turned in a pincushion, lizard!Lycaon befriended Lamine's 9th daughter, who returned North when he "suddenly died" and Hildegard I (who descends from Willy's human children, the ones he got when he had his crest but from human women!) took his succession.
The resulting kid had no pointy ears but was "human passing" enough (only 1/4th Nabatean!), then said kid got kids - sometimes with a crest of Seiros, sometimes with the crest of Lamine - and their kids got kids - and they ended up in Adrestia, becoming Mercie's mom family.
Mercie will notice something strange because her parents recipe (that was influenced by her mom's cooking) always featured putting slices of fruit in the shape of a star on his various cupcakes - but then, those disgusting fruits Flayn, Seteth and even Lady Rhea nibble on occasion, when sliced, look like stars ? Granted, she never tried to eat any since everyone knows they're inedible! She tried to put a slice on a cupcake and ate it, to Annette and Dedue's surprise, she didn't threw up like everyone else, nor collapsed, even if Annette scolded her "Mercie, what are you even doing?! Those things can't be eaten!"
Overhearing Mercie's recipe history, Seteth frowns like never before - Lycaon used to hold hands with a scion of Lamine who joined their side (he told Seiros the Warrior to watch out because he was too young to hold hands, she ignored him, again!).
This will make Billy start to question themselves, if Rhea considered Mother like her daughter, and Mercedes is the child of the child of the child of the child (etc) of Rhea's son, is Mercedes their sort of nephew?
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pepprs · 6 months
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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darkvolley · 2 months
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I know it hasn't been confirmed that the gazing eye can only be on a keyblade, but it sure does feel weird that out of all the weapons it's on, only one of them isn't a keyblade(Riku's first sword). Like, that just doesn't feel right somehow.
#im also curious about how SoD can wield a doubles edged spear made up of that sword#like. was riku only able to wield it cuz of him? but riku had it before getting possessed#uuuggghhh now i wished i paid attention to that since i JUST rewatched kh1 again#no cuz he had it in traverse town!!!! loooong before getting possessed!#but sussiness had to be afoot for him to get a sword WITH THE GAZING EYE in it right???#that couldnt just happen randomly! unless theres some kind of connection in the MoM->nort->maleficent->riku chain#but that feels too indirect to be a reason#also we dont even know how he got that sword other than maybe summoning it with dark powers he got from maleficent#but again then. it couldnt be random!#and i would think he materialize a completely unique sword like a psuedo-keyblade basically#or like how the nobodies have unique weapons they summon. yeah yeah probably exactly like that!!!#so how could a gazing eye materialize 'completely randomly' like that in just some sword???#AND NOW IM WONDERING WHY IT APPEARS ON ANY OF THEM BESIDES NO NAME TO BEGIN WITH!!!!#maybe its more like a MoM->nort->riku chain without maleficent#omg no wait!!! cuz riku caused the islands to collapse because he opened the door BECAUSE OF SoD!!!#so theres the nort->riku connection prior to the possession#maybe cuz nort basically lost no name after the nobodification of the apprentices? i mean. xemnas is said to be able#to use a keyblade anyway and just chooses not to. so like. is it no name or something else? cuz roxas uses soras#and clearly no one else is using no name prior to 3D#what am i saying again? oh yeah! so like. maybe the gazing eye moved from The Abyss to riku after riku came into conact with SoD on the#islands. and it remained with him until 3 with his new keyblade#cuz isnt it that the sword basically 'evolved' into a keyblade? so thats likely why the eye is still there#plus it kinda still exists in the broken way to dawn on the shore so the eye cant move into anything else i bet#and in the case with vanitas having it i bet thats more confirmation that contact with xehanort in some form kinda '#fuck got cut off. where was i??? it kinda 'spreads' the eye basically.#but i feel like it should be more like contact with no name specifically is what 'spreads' it. cuz SoD doesnt have keyblade access right?#so by that logic riku still shouldnt have it. but then again maybe it doesnt need to be no name contact specifically.#it would just make more sense that way but eh. whatever nomura wants i guess#oh wait just remembered! SoD probably uses riku's sword as a spear cuz hes using riku's body. right right that makes sense#its always so easy to forget that lol
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dnangelic · 7 months
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what is the truth. schrodinger's normal abnormal boy
#i was going to write a meta but i deleted it all bc i got embarrassed and can't put woRDS TOGETHER IN A SMART/CLEAR WAY#RHGHHH#its in my brain though i swear#its just abt daisuke's juvenile sense of confusion#hes young. hes a lil lost! he goes along with his family's phantom thievery but he doesn't necessarily completely enjoy it#it's complicated. he truly genuinely from the bottom of his heart loves art. but he doesn't necessarily like the stealing aspect#and he'd never ever steal anything deeply precious to anyone. he refuses to hurt anyone's feelings#but also- he's a little out of touch with things too sometimes. he keeps convincing himself he's 'mostly' or 'sorta' or 'pretty much' norma#when hes NEARLY DIED PLENTY OF TIMES thanks to his training#nobody normal comes home to electric doorknobs pitfalls alligators rabid dogs and lasers#his whole family is literally a family of criminals! he has live artworks w bonkers powers in his basement!#his own weird pet rabbit can FLY AND TALK#ud think turning into dark he'd be like 'well this might as well just happen' but in a way dark rlly was the last straw for daisuke#and like. there's nothing normal about any of this oagbdkgfk ESP IN A MODERN AGE!!!#but daisuke a) is a little willfully ignorant of it and b) genuinely ignorant of anything outside of it. bc again. hes a kid!#he doesn't have a lot of friends! he's a loser!#satoshi bringing up the tamers' cycles too. dark and daiki both agreeing that even if things seem fine now#that in the future the niwa and hikari would fight again. the niwa would cause the hikari pain#over and over. daisuke can't stand it. everyone keeps trying to tell him that his life and future is fixed#but if it's not one he agrees with or wants for himself then he's going to reject it#and that goes double for people like satoshi who have to reject krad. their sorrow and pain#bc it doesn't actually produce any beneficial outcome. its just senseless#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.
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tim and bernard give off major sasaki and miyano vibes
#bernard is sasaki#and tim is miyano#they're not like one to one but like 'in another universe'#just sasaki's general simp vibes and the way he has to take two buisness days to recover every time miyano so much as smiles#gives off major bernard in high school vibes#tim laughs as he does a fucking triple dog ollie or whatever#bear speedwalking to the nearest broom closet to scream: oh fuck oh god how is he so cute#tim verbally tearing into one of darla's more persistent admirers: you're broke you're ugly what makes u think you can even look at her#bear head tucked into his arms face firetruck red trying desperately to hide a smile: i'm going to mc lose it#also sasaki's general style is what i think bear looks like#tim gives me miyano vibes just cause i feel like he'd get all panicky whenever someone asks to know more about his interests#and not like in an insecure way but like he knows his interests are pretty niche#and there's only so many times u can watch someone's eyes glaze over before it's like#'you're obv not fucking listening. that's okay. we can talk about smth we both like.'#but like bear wants to listen even if he doesn't understand and tim has no idea what to do with bear's undivided attention#tim rambling on about computers and mystery novels: so like i definitely think the murderer is mr. fitzpatrick#but i can't figure out... how. why are you looking at me like that?#bear completely lost but enjoying the way tim's face lights up: im not lookin at you weird. neway how do you think lady london ties in?#bear learns to recognize tony hawk for tim#bear asks pertinent ?s about tim's interests#tim who has no idea how to deal with that: oh god oh fuck what the fuck do i do#bear sends him memes relevant to his interests#tim giggling and kicking his feet in the air#tim drake#bernard dowd#timbern#timber#sasaki to miyano#dc
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empyrangel · 1 year
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I was like “Never gonna get moonlight in time. I’ll have to buy all her soul stones from the shop, what a pain.” ??? I got her from a normal ten pull? Then got Milky Way right after?? tf?
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