#which is TRUE still. imo
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hm
#ah im not in a bad mood rn honestly but i cant stop thinking this#i say 'i need to get out' and okay great i guess but feels like every place in this world is also going towards a shittier future 😭#so like. where tf do i even go. i mean ive been basically thinking anywhere is better than this#which is TRUE still. imo#but also it is such a big and scary decision and i wanna do it right and i mean i dont even know if i will be able to do any of this sjdjd#yet here i am worrying abt these things every day#like. are Most places in the world a better option than what i have rn? probably yes 😭#but i dont knowwwwwww i dont know anything abt the world and living and stuff like. everything sucks forever can i pls get some rights pl#i sometimes think i developed some kind of a Stockholm syndrome with this country lmao#like. yes everything is incredibly terrible yet sometimes i just sit down and think#like why even try to get out. life is kinda tolerable here and it's not That Bad (lies)#anyway feeling very hashtag fleabag rn like wont anyone PLEASE tell me exactly what i should do in life. thank you.#i wish i wasnt born in a country where i have to question the possibility of living an Okay Life every day#and as i said I KNOW things are going pretty bad all around the world rn and so many more terrible things are happening#but. but. but.............. this one is completely a lost cause it feels like#anyway!!! i said i wasnt in a bad mood and it's true but i just had to come here and be a doomer sometimes#🗒#neg#i dont even know wtf will happen about any of this and i have to make Decisions and yeah. 👍 yeah#it's okay it's normal it's fine (i dont even know i'll be able achieve anything and even if i do how tf will i have the money to pay and-)#( do i even want this can i even do it do i even deserve this-)
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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)
[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."
Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”
Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.
At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.
"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.
Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”
Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."
In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]
Credits for ID here and here
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because#it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has#given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably#since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc#of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun#but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots#he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at#the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax#but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe#the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww#u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww#ruporas art
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true detective: the long bright dark / disco elysium: jamais vu (derealization)
#in my true elysium slash disco detective universe forever#i have talked about this already but its funny that this quote was marty's breaking point. who has not felt about their hometown like this?#rust does not know this city well however which makes the feeling different but somehow still universal to the experience of growing up#in places that have to change to survive (be it bc of its economy or bc its simply outdated)#but the town in TT s1 appears to be decaying. at least to rust#imo one of the best shots and most defining of the show is that of the church abandoned and left to rot in nature with the factories#in the background. past and progress shown in one shot you know#but with the eps passing i would say that it is the people and their humanity that is decaying instead of the town#after all the town seems quite alright in terms of infrastructures#but the description of it as a jungle really does fit very well#both with the landscapes shown and the animals (men) lurking where you least expect them#true detective#rust cohle#marty hart#mine
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#if the rumors are true about hs4#which im still just. vibing about i dont have an opinion here or there#BUT if they are#i really do hope he delves more into the rock scene#imo hs1 is his best record when it comes to seeing his long-term potential#and fine line features elements of rock that was prevalent in hs1#i just think harry's stage persona and interests work so well under the rock umbrella#his voice and writing style would perform so well in the genre after having three other albums under his belt#like hes won the grammys hes won the brits#hes done residencies#hes done practically everything he can in the pop sphere#lets see him return to his roots since he has nothing to 'prove' anymore as a solo artist#he can just experiment and howl and write freaky lil lyrics and have killer guitar solos#give me all the glamrock elements#please
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Hm. I have dealt with antisemitic star trek fans, but given the times we live in and the recency of this post, as well as me not hearing of any recent major events about antisemitism in Trek fandom, let me check OPs blog real quick
Ah.
Anyway- DS9 intentionally paralleled the Occupation of Bajor with both the Holocaust and the Nakba, among other things, and one of the cast members who remarked on the similarity of Bajorans to Palestinians was Armin Shimerman, who is himself Jewish.
#cipher talk#Star Trek has an ambivalent relationship to Judaism imo honestly#It is true that Nimoy put a lot of Judaism into Spock#But uh. The Ferengi. Who are not only coded in ways that relate to Jews but also Chinese people and Muslims#Even with the complexity added to the Ferengi- notably by Shimerman and other DS9 cast members- its still an ambivalent depiction#Like. A lot of the complexity was added by individual Ferengi being at odds with their culture and accepting Federation ideas#Which I think speaks to how a lot of the Jewish writers and actors on DS9 aren't religious and how secular American Jews#Often regard religious American Jews- especially Orthodox Jews. Which I've already said I feel impacted how Kai Winn was portrayed#(Specifically the choice to associate the word 'Orthodox' with terrorism and assassination)#and how an ambivalent view of religion- sometimes leaning negative- also furthers this view of Judaism
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Is Sara "ungrateful," or is she tired of being treated like a child by both her mother and her little brother when she's trying to move on from the way she was bullied?
I see why they might've been more protective of her while she was at Marieberg, but she's clearly growing up and trying to move on and gain autonomy/independence, and they won't stop treating her like she can't take care of herself. That wasn't necessarily the issue she was having, though; the problem was that people didn't like her as a person and bullied her because of how they perceived her, not that she was actually incompetent in any way. Now that she doesn't have to deal with bullying, she's doing much better, and it might feel like her family is holding her back in the Marieberg times with their helicoptering.
#shimmer's thoughts#young royals#sara eriksson#linda eriksson#simon eriksson#this is mostly focused on s1 btw. i stopped paying attention to the fandom in s1 mostly#ppl are still calling her ungrateful but i don't think that's true. i think she's an adult. and her family treats her#1) badly in general and 2) like she's still 10 or smth. so it's pretty reasonable that she doesn't like that imo#does she go about dealing with that in the wrong way? idk. maybe. but that's not what i'm talking about here#for the record i am also autistic. which isn't to say 'maybe i'm just autistic and don't get this'#what i'm saying is bc i'm autistic in a similar way to her i think i understand her pretty well. better than most people#for the bits i've watched while paying enough attention to her arc at least#also i think i could have more complex thoughts on this esp after a rewatch but this is one of my theories for now#i have many theories. sara is a really fun character#but these are some preliminary thoughts. and i don't really think i'll strongly disagree with this after i rewatch
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back to my hypotenuse bullshit, i just think its very funny how alice was repeatedly characterized as someone who chooses to look at the bright side of stuff, of ppl, seeing hidden depths or things other might not notice and helping them bringing that to light, and how barry Was introduced in a rather negative light until you get to know him better and learn that hes a champ, AND YET alice dislikes him so much for seemingly superficial reasons
like yeah there are reasons why barry is a good dude, sure, but fuck that actually, this is personal
#barry: *has good qualities as a person* / alice. who generally tries to look the good in people: Im Not Looking (◡_◡)#at least until alan's death...#tani's personal shit#agh. man. i LOVE characters that contradict themselves... yet it makes SENSE#like in the text you have this and the domain thing (in alan's words. which doesnt make it less true but does paint it less nuanced)#then theres subtext and alice's distaste for him makes completely perfect sense imo#but thats for another post#ah..... i dont even know if This aspect of alwake is supposed to be this deep bUT IT IS. TO ME#also dont know if maintag this i feel like its not greatly worded but im still like. slowing down from yesterday u_u
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i feel like ppl push back against geoff's narrative by claiming he was the first to posit kon being actually kryptonian but this is just not true............. sb94 itself and wf3 both heavily imply/outright state that kon is a clone of superman with a small amount of stabilizing dna from paul westfield. this is an internal inconsistency with his established intro in rots and adventures of superman, but it's still like. in text stated. just look at hypertension arc. black zero talks explicitly about all the kons across the timelines being clones of superman who simply haven't grown into their full powers yet. geoff isn't the originator of this idea y'all he just retconned the human dna donor into lex instead of paul.
#also as a matter of personal opinion.#kon being an actual kryptonian clone works more elegantly in the narrative just like. occam's razor-wise#and the major reason he was established as being human emulating kryptonian powers is that there was that major editorial mandate#at the time it was prioritized that clark be the ONLY real kryptonian#this was later relaxed (kara. later versions of kon) but that was the driving force for superman during kon's creation#which imo is important context to consider#anyway. i keep seeing posts pushing back against fanon claiming this but it's just. that's not actually true#there are many real reasons to complain about geoff and about fanon without just making stuff up.........#this is the thing i was vaguely complaining about the other day btw. im still atm too lazy to go get citations#but is2g the power of spite might compel me soon#kon#rimi talks
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a rly underrated thing about crazy ex girlfriend imo is that it's one of the rare shows i know of that really spends time on exploring what the process of having children is like for queer ppl/for those who go about it "non-normatively". it's not even rly a main storyline but i still find it rly well-handled and touching.
#idk i feel like in the general consciousness (deciding to) having kids as a queer person is either treated as impossible#(which is true to an extent in some jurisdictions tbf - at least if you want the legal status of parents)#or is imo way oversimplified#like yeah most ppl know ivf is A Fucking Process but many ppl still seem to underestimate iui for example#or there's an assumption that all couples with no sperm between them choose to use a sperm bank and that that process is easy#and doesn't require any reflection (which it isn't and it does)#or that if you choose to go with a known donor finding a donor is an easy process (which it also rly isn't)#or for couples where no one can get pregnant that surrogacy goes without saying (in addition to the fact that surrogacy is banned#in Many Places where other MAR techniques aren't#finding a surrogate is also orders of magnitude more difficult than finding a gamete donor)#or that adoption is an obvious solution - idk if those ppl know any gay couples who are trying to adopt but i do#they've been in the process for SIX psychologically excruciating years and it will likely be another year before they actually have a child#and that's for white college-educated materially comfortable ppl#and idk but cxg does a rly good job with the storyline - from Darryl and White Josh's disagreement about whether to have kids#to Darryl's decision to have a kid alone#to him asking Heather and Rebecca for help with that process#to the fact that Heather and Rebecca's feelings about Hebecca are v realistic and nuanced atm#not at all maternal bc that's never what they wanted or planned for (being a mother to this child) but also not indifferent#for example the 'hello nice to meet you' reprise - i legit think that's the only time i've ever seen a known donor's attitude and feelings#about the child they helped create but in no way consider 'theirs' being explored. even in thirty seconds.#or even just the fact that Darryl is a lawyer and requests help from both a gamete donor and a gestational carrier - yes!#as far as i understand in the us 'surrogacy' (one person being pregnant with their own ovule) gives the pregnant person legal parental stat#and thus requires giving up those rights and sometimes adoption after birth#while 'splitting things up' between a donor and a carrier also cuts through that 'biological' link for the purposes of legal recognition#i might be wrong in my understanding of this but if not it's cool to see it handled realistically including wrt how the legal consequences#influences decisions about which choices you make#reproduction cw#children cw#adoption cw
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every newer gen kpoppy who calls it revolutionary every time a big name bg member wears something vaguely skirt-like should be required to watch lee sungjong of infinite putting his whole pussy into performing coming of age ceremony by park jiyoon wearing the song's classic form-fitting black side-slitted dress with zero gimmicks way back in 2012
#its Required Material re: historical kpop genderfuckery#no but im 100% for real. this was in the middle of the era where bg members doing gg songs in drag and whatnot was a really#common gag at concerts and in variety shows and whatnot- especially using bg members who were/are considered the most effeminate#basically it was a big Joke and never taken seriously. alot of the time the dances would be exaggerated and whatnot and yeah they#werent like. REAL covers. werent usually respectful of the original gg/female idol's work and all that. haha man in dress type humor#i know if you're old enough to be following me and into kpop you probably know this already and im talking into space but whatever#anyway. sungjong said fuck that and fucking killed it with a genuine live cover (dance And vocals) of coming of age ceremony#which- as you can imagine based on the title- isnt just an iconic female idol song but one that's blatantly about female sexuality#and whatnot. wore the dress that's in the original mv (or something very similar) and didnt play it up with a wig or anything like that#(like what's usually the case when male idols cover gg songs to make it more clear that its a Costume and they are Crossdressing rather tha#just. being a guy and wearing a dress.)#did not shy away from the sexiness of the dance AT ALL to the point of riding the floor at one point more or less which. god fucking damn#but anyway. it's totally true to the original and is unapologetically sexy in an inherently orientation-fucking gender-fucking way and GOD#wish it got more attention than it did because THAT is revolutionary. thats the first performance i ever saw where a male idol did a#female idol song in the original female idol outfit live without any gimmick or even the implication that it COUNTS as drag. its SUCH a#big deal imo. and it helps that its really fucking hot but thats neither here nor there. anyway. i know its been years but i still have so#many feelings and opinions about sungjong's coming of age ceremony performance ghfgjhdgfdh WATCH IT#sungjong#infinite#kibumblabs
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Oh yeah, he's read the AO3 logs. x
#Why is he bringing up homoerotic overtones?#bestie#you alright?#he's still camp Tomgreg imo he's just acknowledging that's he's kinda acting and look at Nick which yeah true#god gave me speed reading just so I could skim for Tomgreg mentions in macfadyen profiles#succession#tomgreg#tom wambsgans#cousin greg#succession hbo#Matthew macfadyen
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Idk if I ever rambled about this on here, but it's funny that it's easier to love someone than it is to like them. Loving someone is so effortless. It's involuntary. You can hate someone. You can dislike them. You can have no compatibility with them. You can feel any which way you want about them, and still yet, these feelings can coexist with love. You don't choose to love someone. You just do.
To like someone, on the other hand, is more frivolous. It's not innate like love. It needs to have a solid basis. And it's fleeting. You can like someone one day and become disgusted with them the next. It's so subjective. You either like someone or you don't. And forcing yourself to feel the opposite is very difficult.
I think the funniest thing about it all is that when people cry about being unlovable I think what they're really sad about is being unlikeable. People don't want to be loved. They want to be liked. They want to be reassured that there is something desirable about them. They want to know that people want to be around them. These desires are more concurrent with like than love.
#rambles#i was gonna put a finishing paragraph but i'll put it in the tags instead#tbh imo the craziest thing about love is that it'll always be there#unless everyone you know has died there will never be a moment in which you are unloved#granted this love may exist in different forms#it may exist in hurtful ways#it may be more hidden than most#but it'll always be there#it's a hard thing to believe but it's true#it's incredibly hard to be unloved#adding on to the tags tho bc i'm not done yet....#isn't it such an amazing thing to be loved?#how lucky i am to be loved#here i am as me and still yet people look at that and say 'i love you anyway'#that's incredible#what did i do to deserve that?
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Where did you get four months? They were very much together at the Grammys right before her tour started.
Not Physically! And not seen at a party with her! If you look a the pr removed timeline (multiple breakup/falling apart songs recorded for and then cut from/bonus tracked for midnights esp YLM hits different and dear reader, the lover house packed up/burning imagery in the visuals that likely took at least over a month if not more time to create considering the complexity of the tour, the end of the Lavender Haze and Bejeweled MVs implying a breakup as well as the Karma vid that was likely filmed pre-tour around jan-feb which includes a visual reference to the breakup, the fact songs from TTPD was being worked on before midnights was even released) It's far more likely they broke up at an unconfirmed time likely before or around the release of Midnights, possibly earlier considering how private they were as a couple.
I also want to note that if this is the case, i am not at all begrudging taylor for this. I fully think that keeping the breakup under wraps until the eras tour was about a month in progress, allowing for the tour (and midnights as an album) to stand separate from personal strife or potential PR drama, as well as giving her time to grieve and at least start to recover. I'm not always a fan of her PR and her death grip on the narrative but in this case it was necessary for her to not just for her sanity's sake but also for her art and her career. PR work and creating relationship narratives is just another part of her job and her art, it doesnt make her "fake" or anything it just makes her an image conscious celebrity which she has always been.
Unless Taylor or some reliable source close to the situation releases a tell all with exact names and dates, we'll likely never know, but I think its important to take Taylor at her word that she is artistically a narrative builder and professionally a shrewd marketer, and that her public persona and its story is as much apart of that as her writing and songs.
#ask#anonymous#taylor swift#shes been in this life arguable since the age of 13 and has been a true public figure since 16-17#shes an expert of public presentations of private relationships its part of the job of Being Famous#her and travis dont get spotted on public dates by accident#<- honestly i include the bahamas swimming beach shots/paps catching a private kiss in that which shes been utilizing since harry. Her#desired vs undesired pap shots are v different and i dont think shes had an undesired one since rep imo. Shes very much in control#she knows how to dissappear#she seems happy w travis and i think she wants everyone to know that! its PR utilization#Built public narratives allow for a separated private relationship where people dont have to dig bc they already have ''private'' beach pic#like this is part of what makes taylor interesting! its a delicate tightrope that she walks and she walks it w precision#thats all sorry for the long response to a short question i just have a lot of thoughts on taylors pr work as of recent#2 clarifications 1. i do not think travis is some sort of beard or prship at this point however i still do not care about him#and 2. i still understand why people would be upset w the pap candids esp if they disagree w me on thinking its preplanned paps#ok thats actually all.
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As a diehard Byler, I personally haven't cared about the Stranger Things reddit "worst ship" poll going on (and I'm sure many of you feel the same way). I have found it silly how worked up people seem over there because people are *checks notes* um... voting. In the public poll. Many times they're even voting in line with what the comments want (so in agreement with the redditors) but somehow having a shared opinion is... unionizing? Idk lmao it's just very funny to me!!! (Especially because I honestly think the current final 4 make the most sense.)
That being said, I have to admit that I'm lowkey excited to FINALLY vote Jancy out. Praying it is their time to go. 🙌
(I promise I don't hate Nancy/Jonathan/or Steve. My jumbled thoughts are in the tags, please ignore any typos I noticed later and was too lazy to fix.)
#if Byler made it far that was a cool bonus#at this point I just want to see both of Nancy's ships go away because frankly...#I dislike both Stancy and Jancy. I'm sorry but it is true#neither ship makes anyone involved better or happier imo 😬#my ideal ending for both El AND Nancy is that they girlboss on their own for a while#Jonathan's characterization has been dedicated to that ship for TOO LONG and he's too good of a#character to have him only serve as Nancy's boyfriend#and I'm sorry but the fact that she is still unsure or confused between the two tells me she should just#worry about herself!! She should just focus on her ambition and follow her intuition which is telling her two be with neither of them imo#she likes things about both of them I think and I do think she loves Jonathan#but I just don't think their long term goals and current state of their relationship is indicative of a relationship built to last#and that's okay!!! sometimes when you love someone you come to a point that the truest act of love you can give is letting them go!!#anyway long explanation to say... Steve and Nancy and Jonathan are all better characters independent of their relationships#I'm hoping Jancy goes next. It's my truth and I'm gonna speak it (even if I know it is unpopular lol)#stranger things#reddit ship poll#st reddit ship elimination#st reddit#byler#<- target audience
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Being in Tobias' mind is such an intriguing experience bc you'd typically expect him to only care about getting richer and richer for riches' sake like most other "villains" do, but all he wants is excitement, fun and the feeling of being alive. He couldn't care less if his life were to be put at stake, nor if his entire wealth were to vanish overnight. Sure, he's confident he could get it all back if it ever happened, but it also shows what money is to him. A means to an end, rather than the goal to strive for
#muse: tobias.#At the end of the day he's using that money to have FUN rather than for power or influence or what have you that maddens people#and it Shows bc I've glanced over some of his former threads and he fr just. offered to buy an entire clothing line for a blond woman#NOT because he wanted her favor; but simply bc he wanted to see what her REACTION to it would be. for funsies and whimsies#Does he do what will bring him most money? Sure. Does he do it FOR the money? Naww#If he had to do smth he disliked or didn't felt like doing; he would Not do it even if money was on the line. Exceptions: indebting people#If anything he'd think putting that money on a hook and dangling it in front of bosses (re: leaking that there's a chance to gain it)#while simultaneously getting in their way would be a x100 funnier experience. And usually it'd still end up bringing him $$$#I'm trying to remember what he's used his money for thus far and tbh it's been the usual (drinks-drugs-cigars-luxury) AND pampering others#except I??? realized a while back that he's Never gotten drunk. NEVER. so all that money goes moreso into subtly manipulating people#He's even willing to forgive their debts at his owned bars & clubs as long as he imagines that way's going to end up more exciting#I feel like he's one of those bosses people would prefer to have over the alternatives bc it feels Easier to deal w him than live in fear#which is fascinating bc it's true that Tobias isn't bloodthirsty and /can/ be counted on; but imo it's scarier to not know what tf he wants#Bro jumped out of a window and waited for Gevanni to catch him just to give that man an experience resembling a heart attack LIKE. 😭😭😭#It's good if you can manage to /befriend/ Tobias bc it means you're safe from him... but if you get in /other/ trouble then it's a 50/50#if he'll help you or find it more amusing to watch til the last second. Altho ig AT LEAST he'll intervene before things get Too bad for you#If you're not friends w him/he doesn't find you entertaining & it's too much effort to help you tho... sayonara.
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This review of The Outsiders musical from the NY Times is so funny to me, like did the actors/writers/whoever make Johnny and Ponyboy so gay this reviewer thought they should get hatecrimed??
#keep in mind this review is from like. march of 2023 so theres probably been quite a few changes made since then for the official debut#like i know another review from around that time said that there was no orchestra which we know is no longer true from the song curently out#but still. that is VERY funny#i am extremely nervous about this though. imo the outsiders does not seem like a story that would fit well as a musical#its far too subtle and based in realism#dgmw i love musicals but theyre very bombastic and the outsiders is quite the opposite#who knows. hopefully it'll surprise me and it'll be really good#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#funny text tag
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