#but yeah i’m not the person for such conversations
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Sleep Deprived
A/N: still alive!
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Words: 1005
Warnings: Unedited, Toot-Rotting fluff :)
Summary: You are far too nice and cannot seem to say no when the team keeps asking you for favors. Now you're ridiculously sleep-deprived and Bucky is determined for you to finally get some rest. (Grumpy Bucky X Sunshine Reader)
Bucky Masterlist
Buy me a Coffee?
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Kindness had always been something you prided yourself on; your willingness to help and be patient with others had almost always done you well, but sometimes you were just too nice
First, it was helping Nat go through her old paperwork late one night; she had been in an absolute rush trying to find this old file before the deadline and you didn’t even think of refusing. Then it was Tony, who all but forced you to fill in for one of his lab techs in an overnight experiment. Then Steve wanted help with some confounded modern technology that Sam swore he didn’t have the time to teach him.
On top of it all you had hardly been sleeping the last few nights anyway.
Where you once felt vibrant and bright was now filled with far-distant gazes and tired smiles. Not that you really noticed, right now you were only focused on opening your eyes again after each agonizingly heavy blink.
“Y/N are you sure you want to come?” Steve asked, “You look like you could use a 90-year sleep…” he commented with a quiet huff of laughter.
You barely even registered the joke, instead just smiling sleepy on instinct to his small laugh, “I’m sure, I really do want to go. I promise I’ll be okay once we get going” you assured. The team had been planning this outing for weeks now and you swore you wouldn’t miss it. Not only that but you really didn’t want to miss out on a chance to spend a little more time with Bucky outside of work.
He had snared you at the very first moment and he didn’t even know it. His bright blue eyes had turned away from their conversation, a small frown on his lips from whatever had just been said, and turned to you instead- jolting you with a force you couldn’t have foreseen. Ever since then your heart had been hooked, its strings unwillingly tangled by the smallest interactions.
Not you’d ever admit that to anybody.
“Doll, I really think you should consider staying home and getting some rest…” your heart thrummed as Bucky spoke, his arms crossed over his chest as he gave you a look.
But you only held up your hands, smiling your assurances as you spoke, “I can last a few more hours..! I’ll take a nap as soon as we get back, but I’m sure I’ll last.”
The other members of the team only looked at each other, sharing doubtful glances but nodding nonetheless- if you really wanted to go they weren’t going to try and stop you.
“Alright then,” Nat said with a shrug and stood up, “let’s all head out then.”
Everyone stood up at once and you followed suit, your vision swimming as you stood up far too fast. “Whoa.. um, I mean… Whoo! Yeah, let’s do this…!” You took a staggering step forward. You refused to look like you couldn’t keep up and so you pushed through, giving yourself no time for recovery.
Thankfully there was still one person watching you. Bucky stood up to follow, lingering by your side as the others moved on ahead. He’d tell himself it was purely to watch over you, but he couldn’t deny the lingering urge to be near you. Ever since your first day at the tower when you flashed your annoyingly bright smile at him… he knew he’d never be able to think of anything else.
You stumbled but quickly caught yourself, your breathing ragged and worn as your body begged for rest. “Doll, please-“ but he didn’t have a chance to finish as you stumbled towards the ground yet again.
Strong hands shot out to catch you, your body almost completely limp in his firm grasp. “Oh I…” you started, struggling to keep your consciousness and your breath, “Sorry… I’m okay….”
But Bucky only frowned and shook his head, his hands scooping you up bridal style and he turned to the rest of the team who had stopped to turn back, “You guys go ahead. We’re gonna stay here and get some rest.” He said as he walked back toward the couch, acting as if holding you against his chest was the most natural thing in the world.
“You don’t have to do that, Bucky…” you mumbled against his chest, your body more than happy to sink into him.
“Shh, yes I do…” he spoke quietly, the whole room settling into a calm quiet as the rest of the team headed out the door, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Doll… I know you want to be nice, but you’re only gonna wind up hurt.” He chided as he took a seat on the couch and laid back against the armrest.
Thanks to your lack of sleep you had no shame in rolling on top of him, your cheek squishing against his chest as you let out a tired huff. “I’m not.. good at saying no…” you murmured with eyes closed, sleep coming on fast in your comfortable state.
The grumpy ex-soldier grinned despite himself, your sweet smooshed face stirring something in his old heart. He pulled a blanket off the top of the couch, draping it over the two of you as you seemed to be in the last thralls of consciousness.
“Bucky…?”
“Yes, Doll?”
“Will you be here when I wake up…? Please..?” Your soft voice asked, your fingers curling around his shirt in an effort to make him stay- but he didn’t need any swaying.
A grin, as bright as your own, broke through his expression, and he nodded quietly, “I’ll be right here, Doll. I promise you….”
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And he kept his promise.
Hours later the rest of the team had finally returned, initially boisterous and full of laughter, they were quickly quieted down by the sight before them.
There on the couch you and Bucky continued to lay, his strong arms wrapped firmly around your frame with his sleeping face tucked into the top of your head.
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General Bucky Taglist:
@writingmysanity @simpxinnie @goldylions
If I missed or accidentally tagged you lmk! Wanna be added General Bucky taglist? Please ask/DM me!
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#bucky fic#bucky imagine#james bucky barnes x reader#james bucky barnes x y/n#james bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes x reader#james barnes x y/n#james barnes x you#james barnes x reader#bucky barnes fluff#James Bucky Barnes imagine#mcu imagine
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Another Chance to Live Part 1 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)
Summary: Ana and you are both struggling with unwanted transfers, but maybe you can at least find happiness off the pitch.
A/N: This is the first part of a story I've been working on for a while. I guess my way of processing my emotions about Ana's transfer. I've been in the denial stage for a long time 😅
The next two chapters are already written (just need to edit them) and so far it's a total of about 13k words. I'm now at a crossroad which will decide how long the story becomes. So I thought I'd publish the first part and see how much interest there is in a story like this to help me decide.
It felt like a cruel joke of the universe that now, now when you had been forced to leave, the woman you’ve had a crush on for years, joined your team, or well your former team. Words that made your heart crack a little more every time you thought them. Never in a billion years had you expected your team to become your former team.
Ever since you had first laid eyes on Ana you had been dazzled by her, not necessarily only by her looks, although you definitely enjoyed them, but also by her personality and her aura. She always radiated so much kindness and positive energy. It was impossible not to be drawn to her.
Sadly your paths didn’t cross all too often and when they did, Ana was always somewhere in the heart of whatever group you were part of, while you were lingering on the edges, looking in. So the Swiss woman was probably only vaguely aware of your existence, while you soaked up every detail you could find about Ana. The more you learnt, the more you liked her.
And yes, sometimes when you lay in bed at night you made up little scenarios how the two of you would meet. One of your favorite ones was Ana coming to Atleti, not really knowing her way around Madrid yet, so you take her under your wing and show her everything. And of course she starts falling for you as you spend so much time together. It was your imagination after all, so you could day dream all you wanted.
Now part of this little fantasy was actually coming true, Ana really was joining Atlético, and it frustrated you to no end that now that she came, you were gone. Although perhaps it wasn’t the universe being cruel towards you, maybe it was protecting you because even if you played for the same team there was no way the Swiss woman would ever go for someone like you.
Still, you spent a good amount of time fuming about it in your apartment. Possibly also because it was easier to focus on that rather than on the fact that your childhood club had just dropped you like you meant nothing. Every time you remembered the conversation with the club’s managers you felt like throwing up, hiding under the covers for the rest of your life, and ripping off your ears so you didn’t have to listen to one more word from them. So yeah, it was comforting in a weird way to think about your missed chance with Ana, especially since it never had been much of a chance anyway.
It was harder to hold on to that strange comfort when training actually started and you had to go to Real Madrid’s training center every day. Most days were spent attempting to do your best and keep your negative emotions in check, while thinking nonstop about how much you hated this, how much you wanted to return to Atelti, how much you wanted to leave Madrid altogether.
So all in all you weren’t having the best time, barely getting by was actually a more accurate way to describe it. Then a few weeks after the season started you got a call from Lola.
“Sooo I heard you’re doing a lot of moping these days,” she teased you.
However there was an underlying note of worry in her voice. You had done your best to pretend as if Atleti’s decision hadn’t hurt you, that these things happen in football, and you were completely fine with it, but Lola had seen right through it.
“I’m not moping, I’m just quiet and focused like usual,” you quickly defended yourself. It was only partially true, you hated every single second you spent at the training center of Real Madrid.
“That’s not what I’ve heard, but how about you convince me over a cup of coffee. Maybe tomorrow afternoon?”
You didn’t even question how Lola knew that you had the day off tomorrow, apparently she had some spies at Real. As much as you didn’t want to continue talking about the misery that was your new club, you did want to see your friend, so you agreed.
“I might ask some other people if they want to tag along. Everyone misses you,” Lola continued, making you happy and sad at the same time. It was nice to be missed, but you wished you weren’t in a position where you could be missed.
Before you could hang up, Lola told you to bring “your moping buddy Misa”, then she ended the call with a cackle, not giving you any chance to retaliate. In all honesty there was some truth to it, both you and Misa were unhappy at Real, so it wasn’t surprising that she was the only person you had really bonded with so far.
Going by Lola’s words you expected a big group the next day when you entered the café you had agreed upon. What you found however were merely three people, Lola, Misa and no one other than Ana.
Suddenly your stomach was filled with butterflies flapping their wings wildly, making you somewhat nauseous as a result. You hadn’t expected this and you weren’t prepared for it at all. If it wouldn’t have been incredibly rude you would have walked right back out of the café.
Instead you walked over to the small group, doing your best impression of a friendly smile. You could have sworn you saw a knowing glint in both Misa’s and Lola’s eyes. There was no way they knew about your crush though, right?
Lola jumped up when she saw you, hugging you tightly. “It’s good to see you, chica, I’ve missed you,” she told you.
You had to blink a couple of times to chase away the tears burning in your eyes. There was no denying that you had missed her too, all of your former teammates really. You longed to be back at Atlético, and not only because Ana was there.
Right, Ana.
You extracted yourself from your friend and smiled at the blonde. Should you hug her as well? Or greet her with kisses on the cheeks? That’s exactly why you should have been informed that Ana would be there, so that you could think this over beforehand. Or, well, over think it.
Unlike you Ana knew exactly what to do; she got up, greeted you kindly and gave you a quick hug. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. We’ve never had much of a chance to talk, so I’m glad we get one now.”
For a few seconds too long you started at her. You were torn between awe, and a little bit of envy, at how easily the Swiss woman had navigated this greeting, and shock. She remembered you? She was happy to see you? Once your heart slowed down from a wild canter to a moderate gallop and your brain was working more clearly again, you realized that this was probably just something Ana had said to make the situation less awkward, not something she truly meant.
“So, do you want to sit down?” Lola suggested with a smirk on her face. Thankfully she left it at that though and you quickly sank down into a chair. You felt too embarrassed to look at Ana, so you completely missed the reassuring smile she sent your way.
After that things went much more smoothly, mostly because Lola and Ana carried the conversation, allowing you and Misa to remain in your preferred role, attentive listener. Your former teammate as well as your crush tried valiantly to draw you out of your shell, but out of fear of saying something stupid, you kept your answers as short as possible without being weird or unfriendly. If only you could think of something witty to say!
On the bright side your relative quietness gave you a good opportunity to study Ana. She was stunning as always, but you could easily spot the signs of the toll this move to the Atlético had taken on her; her smile wasn’t quite as wide as usual and didn’t reach her eyes, her voice was a little duller, there were badly covered up dark bags underneath her eyes and she was a bit more subdued than normal in general. Man, you really had spent way too long looking at any video of her you could find to notice things like that!
Then all of the sudden Misa let out a gasp. “I completely forgot I promised my neighbor I’d let in her daughter today. I need to leave right now to make it.”
You frowned at your teammate; it wasn’t like her to forget something as important as that. Was something more than her unhappiness with being stuck at Real bothering her? You made a mental note to ask Misa about it the next day, remind her that you were always there if she needed someone.
Misa’s departure didn’t really change anything in the dynamic, she hadn’t contributed much just like you. But then Lola got a phone call from her girlfriend who apparently needed your former teammate urgently. She looked at the two of you apologetically, however you could swear that there was some glee shimmering behind her regretful front.
“You girls should stay here and enjoy the rest of the afternoon. Really I’m so sorry about this, don’t let it ruin your day,” Lola babbled, pressing a kiss to both your and Ana’s cheek before dashing out of the café.
You looked after her with confusion. The confusion however was short-lived, quickly drowned out by panic once you realized that you were now left alone with Ana. No more hiding behind other people, no more safety net. You weren’t ready. However leaving also wasn’t an option, there was no way you could do so without offending Ana, so you had to pull yourself together.
“I’m sorry about that,” Ana apologized, bringing your confusion back. As far as you were aware the Swiss woman had absolutely nothing to apologize for.
“They probably planned this because they think I need to be more social again. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jenni put them up to it, she’s been pretty worried,” the Swiss woman specified, leaving you reeling because you didn’t know how to deal with that much honesty.
“Oh,” you replied, praying that some more words would enter your brain. “Maybe they also did it for me. They think I’m pretty antisocial in general,” you finished, kicking yourself for making yourself look even more pathetic than you already did.
To your surprise Ana didn’t seem put off; on the contrary she chuckled and said, “Well we can be antisocial together then.”
The Swiss woman using the word ‘together’ in reference to the both of you made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, you could definitely get used to that.
In an attempt to take control of the situation and not end up blurting out something stupid if Ana asked you a question, you inquired how she was liking Madrid so far. It seemed like a normal thing to ask someone that had just moved to a new place.
However the Swiss woman didn’t answer right away, which was atypical for her who always seemed to have a reply ready. That combined with the guarded look in her eyes made you realize that this wasn’t a safe and easy topic for her. In your rush to make sure nothing that would be complicated for you came up, you had totally forgotten that Ana’s own move to Madrid had been anything but a happy occurence. Way to be selfish!
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Forget I said anything, that was such a stupid thing to say,” you apologized frantically
“No, don’t worry, it’s fine,” Ana quickly reassured you. “I just don’t really know what to say. Obviously I didn’t want to come here, I miss Barcelona. Both the city and the team. So I’m not having the best time to be completely honest. Then again I also haven’t given Madrid much of a chance yet. So…”
The Swiss woman’s openness left you stunned once again. This could never be you, sharing your thoughts and feelings so freely. At the same time you noticed with a surge of excitement and dread that Ana’s explanation gave you a good opening, not unlike your daydreams in fact.
Your fear of being annoying and overstepping was battling hard against your longing to get to spend more time with the blonde in the future. In the end you decided to go for it, maybe Ana would appreciate it and if she didn’t want to hang out again, she could just say so. Of course there was still the fear of rejection holding you back, but you shoved that to the back of your mind. If you didn’t ask the answer would always be no, right?
“If you want to I could show you around Madrid sometime. I’ve lived here all my life so I know the place like the back of my hand and know some nice places. Totally fine if you don’t of course, I’m sure there are many other people that could show you around.”
You spoke in record speed, making it hard for Ana to follow, which was why it took her a moment to answer. These few seconds were some of the most horrible ones in your life. If she said no now all your hopes would be shattered once and for all. Everyone always said it was important to know so you could move on, but honestly if the Swiss woman didn’t want to spend any time with you, you didn’t want to know.
“That sounds great, I’d love to,” Ana replied once she had enough time to process your jumble of words.
“Really?” You double checked, the words out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.
“Yeah, definitely,” the Swiss woman confirmed with a gentle smile. A smile that you returned happily. You hadn’t felt this excited in a while, it was a nice change from the bleakness that had become your constant companion.
The rest of your time together was spent chatting easily. You weren’t a great conversationalist, however with Ana it came much more natural. The blonde definitely did the heavy lifting, but you were happy with your own contributions. You even made her laugh a few times!
Later that day when you were back in your apartment you were much more critical, taking apart every single thing that you had said and coming to the conclusion that you must be the stupidest person on the planet. Thankfully you were going to get another chance in a few days and this time you would be better prepared. You would say interesting things and you would make sure Ana had a great time. The blonde deserved some joy and happiness and you would do your best to give her that.
Before your next meeting with Ana you actually made a plan; you would make a list of her interests and think of possible questions, some jokes and interesting facts you could mention. You spent one evening on it, working furiously and then you realized what you were doing, feeling very foolish all of the sudden. You scrunched up the piece of paper and threw it into the trash with some force.
This was pointless and unnecessary and totally embarrassing! Maybe you weren’t the best at coming up with things to say on the spot, but rehearsing everything like this was a role in a play was stupid. The urge to do absolutely everything to get Ana to like you was huge, however is she only liked this carefully crafted version of you that wasn’t any better than her not liking you at all.
Also, you shouldn’t even attempt to get the Swiss woman to like you. Just like you should keep your own crush in check. Ana’s life was complicated enough at the moment, you didn’t need to add your infatuation into the mix.
Unfortunately your noble plan to ignore your crush failed miserably. Whenever you spent time with Ana you fell a little more for her. It was simply impossible not to when she was the kindest, funniest, most interesting and on top of that most beautiful person in the world.
Like when you were out and about on one of your strolls to the city and a young couple approached you, asking if you could take a picture of them. As was typical for you, you hesitated for a moment; not necessarily because you didn’t want to, but because your mind was already working in overdrive, supplying you with every possible negative outcome.
Ana on the other hand smiled at them. “Of course! Where do you want to take it?”
And then she proceeded to take several pictures of the two, showing them to the couple, and when they weren’t completely satisfied yet, she even offered her own suggestions on how they might turn out even better.
All the way you were just watching them, well mostly Ana, with a goofy smile. You loved how much she cared, how much effort she put into random people she didn’t even know. No wait, you didn’t love that, you liked that, admired it.
Or when Ana convinced you to go into a tiny café. A place you would have never frequented on your own because the intimacy of it freaked you out. Not the blonde though. Within seconds she began chatting with the owner, a middle-aged woman who was thrilled someone showed so much interest in her small establishment.
The cake you got was very tasty as was the coffee and the homemade ice tea. You were quick to admit that Ana had made a good decision by forcing you to go there.
However what really pulled at your heartstring was that the Swiss woman went up to the owner afterwards and asked if it was okay to post about this place on Instagram. The poor woman almost started crying out of happiness and thanked Ana profusely, while the blonde kept insisting that this was nothing and really it should be her thanking the owner.
So it was safe to say that you fell deeper and harder every time you saw Ana. But it was okay, you had a foolproof way to make sure that the blonde didn’t figure it out and therefore her life didn’t get disrupted because of you. Whenever you echoed a statement Ana had made about how much she liked hanging out with you or that she thought you were a great person, you always added ‘friend’ into the mix; “I enjoy hanging out with you too, you’re such a great friend.” and “Aw thank you. You’re one of the best people and friends I know too!”
Sometimes when you were feeling particularly hopeful you wondered if the lack of specification on Ana’s part meant that she liked you as more than a friend. You always discarded the idea quickly though. It was much more likely that the thought of being more than friends was so ludicrous to the blonde, something that had probbly never even grazed her mind, that she didn’t feel the need to explicitly state it.
Despite having to resign yourself to the fact that Ana didn’t like you like that, it still made you happy that she was usually in a good mood when you were hanging out. Something you were secretly very proud of. Still every once in a while her sadness shined through, for example when she heard someone speak Catalan or when she saw something that reminded her of Barcelona.
One time a group of fans came up to her. They were friendly and excited and the Swiss woman matched their energy effortlessly. But then one of them mentioned how sad they were that Ana wasn’t playing for Barça anymore. You were forced to watch the blonde deflate slightly after that thoughtless statement. She was good at pretending though, so the fans were none the wiser.
When they were gone you gathered all of your courage. Up until now you had stayed in the shallows of easy conversation so this was a first and once again you worried about overstepping. But when you saw Ana’s sad eyes and the forcefully pulled up corners of her mouth, you couldn’t stay silent.
“Do you want to talk about it? I mean your transfer from Barça? I know we haven’t really talked about that or othe serious things yet, but I’m always happy to listen. I’m actually pretty good at that.”
The Swiss woman sighed, rubbing a hand over her face.
“That’s very sweet but honestly I’ve been talking so much about it lately. Sometimes it feels like it’s the only thing anyone wants to talk about anymore. So if it’s okay with you could we just continue like before? The distraction has been helping a lot.”
You had been helping! Happiness flowed through you and your smile was maybe a bit bigger than was warranted for a situation like this. However unless Ana was studying you as intently as you always studied her, you doubted that the blonde would notice.
“Yeah, of course. I’m happy to help in anyway.”
Ana and you kept seeing each other regularly and it was the undisputed highlight of your current life. Honestly it was a little worrying how few other things brought you any joy, but you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on that.
So when you were put into a situation where you had to cancel on Ana you were devastated. It wasn’t an appropriate reaction to something so small, but you had a ten minute crying session until you could even begin to function properly again. Calling the Swiss woman was out of the question though, you were still chocked up and sniffling.
Instead you texted her, apologizing multiple times and explaining that you were roped into doing all sorts of things last minute for your father’s birthday tomorrow. You could have slapped yourself for not seeing this coming. Sure, your parents had assured you time and time again that everything was taken care of, but you should have known better. Then you could have done it before today and weren’t forced to cancel on Ana.
Only minutes after you had sent the text your phone started ringing with a call from the Swiss woman. With wide, panicked eyes you stared at the screen. In the end your desire to at least hear Ana’s voice if you couldn’t see her won out. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice anything.
„Hey I just saw your text and wanted to ask if I can help out with anything.”
You smiled at your phone, your heart warmed by Ana’s kindness. There was no doubt in your mind that she would actually follow through on your offer. Not that you would ever take it.
“Aw thank you so much, Ana! But it’s okay really. Most things I have to do at my parents place anyway. You know help them clean and decorate. So I’ll be out most of the day, and then in the evening I’ll have to bake the cake. Who knows how that’s going to go.”
You chuckled, even if you were feeling slightly panicked at the idea of baking. Normally your mother was in charge of that, but she had broken her arm a few weeks ago, so that was out of the question. Moments like this made you wish that you had some siblings or some cousins for that matter, just anyone to help you out.
“Not to brag, but I’m actually a great baker. So if you want some help, I’m happy to come over in the evening and help,” the blonde offered.
It would be nice to have some help, and you always wanted to see Ana. Plus she had brought up the idea of her own accord, so surely it was okay, right?
“That would be great actually. Thank you so much,” you replied, not giving your mind any more opportunity to drive yourself crazy.
Ana and you quickly planned everything out before you hung up and left to do everything else. With the prospect of seeing the Swiss woman later today you were a lot more cheerful than before.
“What’s got you so happy?” Your mother asked you while she supervised the decorating process.
It was incredibly frustrating since she kept criticizing everything you did. Every few minutes you had to step away for a moment, take some deep breaths and visualize how your evening with Ana would be, full of laughter and fun conversation.
“Not this, that’s for sure,” you muttered, low enough so that your mothers whose hearing wasn’t the best anymore, couldn’t here you.
“What?”
“Nothing,” you said louder, “I’m just in a good mood, I guess.”
There was no point in bringing up Ana. Nothing would ever happen between the two of you and even after knowing about it for almost ten years your parents still struggled with your sexuality. To avoid unnecessary conflict and awkwardness you never spoke about women you liked unless it was something serious. So never.
“You should focus on decorating and not smile so much. Maybe then we would get somewhere.”
You rolled your eyes, but kept your mouth shut. No point in pointing out that most parents would be happy if their child was happy. And it wasn’t like your mother wasn’t happy about it, she just wasn’t good at being pleasant around you. Somehow she always felt the need to criticize you.
Hours later you got into your car, quickly drove away and as soon as you were a decent distance from your parents’ house you let out a loud scream, releasing all of the built up frustration. Then you set your focus on the near future, on the fact that you would be meeting Ana in half an hour at your apartment. Baking wasn’t really your thing, but baking with the Swiss sounded like a lot of fun. Anything was fun with her really; just being around her made you so happy.
When you got to your apartment Ana was already waiting for you, leaning against her car. A big smile appeared on the blonde’s face when she saw you and she waved at you happily. It warmed your insides, swept away any remnant of frustration from the long day with your parents, seeing how excited Ana was to see you.
You got set up quickly, putting out all the ingredients and opening up the recipe you had settled on. Then you turned to the Swiss woman expectantly.
“So any baking pro tips from you before we start?” You asked teasingly.
Ana looked at you sheepishly.
“To be completely honest I don’t really know that much about baking. I usually only bake once a year to make some Christmas cookie,” the blonde admitted, scratching her nose.
You frowned at her in confusion. This didn’t really make any sense to you, but you didn’t want to make Ana feel bad about it.
“So why did you say you did?” You asked carefully. „I mean only if you want to tell me, it’s totally fine if you don’t. I’m sure you had your reasons.”
The Swiss woman blushed a little as she explained herself, “I really just wanted to spend some time with you today.”
Your heart started racing at this confession, your hopes going through the roof. It didn’t take long for the logical part of your brain to bring you back to earth though. Surely this didn’t mean what you wanted it to mean. Most likely Ana was just struggling today and didn’t want to be alone.
“Oh I’m sorry you’re having a hard time today. You know you can always tell me that and if it’s possible at all I’ll always make time for you. You don’t have to make up reasons to hang out.”
Ana stared at you with a pained expression. It hurt your heart to see her in pain and it made you wonder if something had happened today, perhaps something that reminded her of Barcelona?
“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked when the blonde stayed quiet, but then you thought better of it. “Wait no I’m sorry, you already said that you’re tired of talking about it before and that you prefer a distraction. So let’s bake!”
You put some extra excitement into your voice and made sure to keep up a stream of easy chatter as you got to work. For a while Ana remained a bit distant and quiet, but before too long her smile returned and she began talking and joking.
When the blonde laughed loudly at a joke you had made you felt very proud of yourself for giving Ana what she needed, a distraction. If you continued to be helpful she would keep wanting to hang out with you and that was also very much in your interest. Even if the knowledge that it meant something else to you hurt somewhat every time you thought of it.
However it was all worth it to get to spend time with Ana. Everything was worth that.
#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso fanfics#ana maria crnogorcevic imagine#ana maria crnogorcevic x reader
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the girl who told me i never could - l.n
Warnings: Angst, Smut, 18+, kinda hate sex tbh, lando calls y/n a whore :(
Pairing: Lando Norris x childhood!crush!reader
Summary: Lando likes Y/N when they were kids, but she never felt the same, now that she knows who he is, she’s changed, and it’s not coz of the money…
You’d rejected Lando when you were 14. You hadn’t meant for it to come out as mean as it had to him, you just didn’t feel the same about him. He was sour about it but oh well. After a few years, you didn’t speak again, you moved on, and lost track of him. What you didn’t expect was to see him on TV a decade later. Driving formula one cars. As a multi-millionaire. Fuck the money, though, god. He was fucking hot. Nothing like the Bristol lad who’d asked you out. It couldn’t be the same person.
So you made the very well thought decision to go to a Grand Prix. You weren’t NOT successful, you had your links, one of them, thankfully, being Oscar’s girlfriend. “You guys would be so cute,” Lily gushed, sitting beside her boyfriend as he drove the pair of you to the track. “I’m not going to date him, Lily,” you repeated, rolling your eyes at her as she giggled,
“Well, he does need some distracting, a bit of fun,” Oscar said as Lily shrieked with laughter. “I rejected him when we were kids,” you raised an eyebrow, “and he has girls fawning over him anyways,”. Lily sighed, “he doesn’t want any of them,”. You ended the conversation by ignoring her last sentence, following them into the garage and to Oscar’s room. “Hey mate, who’s this?” a voice said behind you, making you gulp. Lando.
“This is Lily’s friend, Y/N,” Oscar said cautiously, watching your face. The whole room seemed to drop a few degrees by the coldness of Lando’s gaze at the side of your face. You were still turned away from him, thankfully, his gaze would kill if it could. “Oh, sweet,” he said, jaw set as his eyes never looked away from you. “Hi,” you said awkwardly, eyes firmly on Oscar as he cringed.
Not good. “Guess you were wrong, then, Y/L/N,” Lando said as Oscar stepped away, mumbling something about media. “About?” you asked, crossing your arms. “Let me quote you,” he smirked, “‘you’re never gonna get anywhere in life, Lando, id never wanna get with a loser like you,’” he imitated your voice spitefully. You remembered the words. “We were kids, Lando,” you started hopelessly. “Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt,”.
“Lets not forget; ‘The day you get into formula one is the day I’d let you get anywhere near me,’”. Fuck. “Look how close we are now, then,” he said, his chest brushing against your back. “You’ve always been a pretty little thing, haven’t you?” he cooed, pushing your shoulder back so he could see your face. You didn’t respond. “Not gonna make a mess of you on Oscar’s sheets,” he smirked, his hand clasping around your forearm, cold rings against your skin.
You didn’t push him back. You didn’t even know why’d you come to the race. “You’re pretty, you know?” he said, sliding his joggers down as he placed you onto his massage bed. “So pretty. Never good enough f’me, though,” he continued, throwing your legs carelessly over his shoulder. “You was too good for me, weren’t you? Is that what you said?” he asked, your ass pressed against his thigh. “Is it?” he asked again, tapping your cheek.
“Yeah,” you panted, his dick against your entrance. “You missed out, Y/L/N,” he pushed into your roughly, his hands gripping your thigh as your eyes widened. “Lando, fuck,” you groaned, his hips slamming into yours. “Yeah? You like that?” he asked, finger grazing your cheek. “Yes, yes, please Lando, please,” you gasped, the knot building up in your stomach. “Fuck you, Y/L/N,” he spat, your eyes rolling as he held you firmly, “you fucking whore,”.
So you came. On his cock. And then he left without a care. You fucking did miss out.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris smut#lando x reader#f1
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(I didn’t find any info if your askbox is closed or not, if you are not taking up requests you can ignore this!)
But hi :) how are you? how you are doing well
this is a bit personal, but would you mind doing either a Headcanon or scenario with reader x turtles (romantic/crush stage) with a…Hopeless reader? Kinda someone who had to tell themselves that love isn’t on their life journey and that seriously bother them? Lol
this weekend I’m gonna attend a friends wedding, while meeting with some shared friends before the wedding, one of them quoted corpse bride’s scene “to Emily, always the bridesmaid, never the bride” for me (most of my friends are married or dating long term), usually I handle the lack of a love life fairly well (by not thinking about it or just making jokes about it lol) but tonight it kinda really bothered me, a lot.) a lot of my friends treat me being single as something I don’t out efforts in it? But holy shit I do, and it really hurts to see them saying or acting like I’m not doing enough? Anyways. I guess the request would be how the turtles would react to a reader who kinda just lost hope, who agrees with the quote even if it makes her very sad? Kinda trying to wing the night lowkey but turtles can sense it hurt her (maybe Vern said the quote lol, or something similar… that’s something stupid enough for the falcon to do 😅)
I hope makes sense, if not I apologize for the messy ask. Have a good day / night
I'm sorry that happened. Your friends definitely need to stfu about that lol dating and relationships are fun, but nobody NEEDS them. If they need a RELATIONSHIP to feel fulfilled, they have shit to figure out.
Definitely been there tho. And being single can be horrible. I see you
Scene: Your turtle has been secretly pining for you for a while now. Hasn't got the guts to say anything yet.
TMNT x Lonely Reader
Leo
- He could sense your reaction instantly, despite how well you hid it.
- Your micro expressions, the slight but sudden shift of your bodyweight away from Vern- Leo almost didn't catch that you had smiled and laughed at the comment.
- His own reaction was visceral and overwhelming, at least it was to him.
-He remained still by your side, but the urge to...he didn't even know. Hide you. Push hard at Verns shoulder- something.
-Geez. He hadn't felt like this since he was a child. Like he could protect his little brothers or you from judgment or cruelty.
-He couldn't.
-He sucked in a breath through his nose, scrambling for self-control; watching you handle the interaction like an adult. Forcing himself to as well.
-But it did satisfy him to see that Vern physically felt his animosity. The guy took once glance at Leo before he instantly stuttered an excuse to walk to another conversation.
-"Vern is an idiot." Leo scratched out, desperate to keep what he really wanted to say to you at a minimum. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."
-You seemed surprised at that, glancing up at him. But your quite, sincere smile made it it worth it.
Raph
- "Always the brides maid, never the bride, huh?"
- "What?" It was a reactive response. Before you could even register what he had said, or the sudden amount of hurt- or embarrassment you felt.
- Raph had turned wide, expectant eyes on Vern as well, something Vern noticed instantly.
- "Well, yunno." Vern stutteres, trying to stay focused on you. "I've seen ya at these events a lot but you never bring a guy around...or-"
-"See that girl over there?" Raph suddenly said, leaning down a little to point your gaze in the right direction.
- "Yeah." You said quietly.
-"Who's that girl, Vern?"
-Vern looked back at you guys, shrugging and putting his hands back in his pockets with an air of pride. "She's my girlfriend."
-Raph smirked, his voice somehow both condescending and unusually soft. "Vern met her a week ago. That makes her..." Raph trailed off, looming back into his full height, towering over Vern. "The sixth one this year, right. Makin' you real good at givin' advice to pretty girls, Falcon boy. Careful with that."
-"Jesus. I'm just- I'll be over there." Vern sighed, awkwardly stepping aside then walking out of sight.
- Raph said nothing, instead turning to you. "You alright?"
-You were desperate not to say everything you wanted to. "Much better." You said instead, looking up at him. Hoping the softness you saw there was a reflection of what you felt for him too.
Donnie
- Donnie couldn't even react or register the words before you were handling it. Shrugging and waving Vern off.
-He was horrified. His eyes were glued to Vern, completely confused that the guy had missed how rude of a statement that was.
-The conversation came and went, and while he had a wonderful time, he was entirety focused on you.
-While you didn't seem MISERABLE, you were different. Something had obviously changed. And it was Verns fault.
-You had no reason to feel pressure of that kind. You were perfect the way you were! No one should ever, ever, ever make you feel anything less.
-The thought that you did made him physically sick to his stomach.
-He might not have caught it in time to say anything in the moment.
-But Verns apartment locks, car, computer, and bathroom pipes all giving him a hard time all in the next 24 hours?
-A complete and utter mystery...
Mikey
-"Yeah you should listen to him." Mikey said.
-Shock coursed through you. "What?" You looked at him, wide eyed, heart in your throat- "W- I should-"
-"You should listen to him." Mikey repeated, noding solumley, starting to confidently strole around Vern. "This guy has fantastic dating advise. You don't even know, girl. Look at him!" Mikey's smile was as bright as the sun, gesturing to Vern as if he was a plater he was showing off to you.
-"He's been on this earth so long, his life experience exceeds our very comprehension, girl."
-Vern made a sudden puzzled expression while yours melted quickly into a smile.
-"He's got recipes too. Qualifications, evidence, the whole nine yards. Guy has like- twelve grand kids-"
-"I- C'mon, Mike-" Vern was catching on.
-"Ohhh.. yeah, that's right. No grandkids. But he does have a wife. They just had their fiftieth anniversary-!"
-"I'm not that o- He's joking with you." Vern tried to explain. "I'm not married."
-Mikey snapped his fingers as he had remembered something, suddenly getting much, MUCH closer in Verns personal space.
-"Oh yeah, that's right. You're not married. I forget that your on, like, your sixth girlfriend this month. Maybe actual advise sounds like..."
-Mikey stepped away from Vern, standing infront of you. "Keep those standards up, girl. Pretty face like yours? You could have anyone you want."
-You couldn't stop smiling.
#bayverse#raphael#leonardo#tmnt#donatello#tmnt bayverse#bayverse tmnt#my writing#tmnt headcanons#raphael x reader#bayverse leonardo#leonardo x reader#bayverse donatello#donatello x reader#tmnt michelangelo#michelangelo x reader#michelangelo
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Mutual pining (May 12th)
Word count: 700
@wolfstarmicrofic
Sirius screams into his pillow. James startles, knocking the pot of ink on the desk all over his admittedly horrible essay.
“Godric! What the hell?” James and Sirius are the only ones in their dorm room and Sirius has apparently gone crazy.
“Why won’t he talk to me?” Sirius asks, throwing the pillow on the floor. “Why won’t he just talk to me?”
“Remus literally talks to you all the time,” James says, and he doesn’t need to ask who Sirius is referring to because who else would it be? “And pick up that pillow. This room barely fits all of us when it is tidy.”
“But no, he doesn’t. James, he doesn’t. Not about the things that matter, anyway.” Sirius doesn’t say anything about the pillow but he does pick it up.
“What are the things that matter, again?” James asks, turning his chair around to look at Sirius.
Sirius blinks. “I just mean that–”
“What is the last thing you two talked about?”
“How peeling an orange is the epitome of love, apparently,” Sirius says. And he doesn’t even say it to be funny. He’s completely earnest.
James truly cannot believe that Remus and Sirius don’t know that they’re already dating. “You talked about– how did that conversation start?”
“I’m not really sure. But, see? I want to talk to Remus about things that matter. And things that don’t matter, as well, like love oranges. It was a really lovely conversation, James. Easy flowing and funny and–”
“Love oranges are funny?”
“Well, Remus is funny, so yeah.”
James nods. He doesn’t want to point out the obvious and tell Sirius to just ask Remus to marry him already if only to see how long it takes Sirius to figure out that Remus is obsessed with him as well.
“Can you help me make a list?”
“Sure,” James says. He tilts his head. “Of what?”
“Of like, conversation starters.”
“You need conversation prompts to talk with Remus?” James raises an eyebrow. Remus and Sirius literally don’t shut up.
“I need conversation prompts to talk about deep things with Remus.”
James starts laughing, and he can’t stop. “Deep things?”
“Oh, fuck off.”
Remus doesn’t sleep well the week before the full moon. James doesn’t sleep well, ever. They snuck out into the Forbidden Forest after Remus broke more quills than James could justify during their late-night library study session.
“What do you think my animagus would be?” Remus asks as they are walking. “And don’t say a wolf because I will gouge your eyes out.”
James laughs. “I wasn’t going to. An eagle.”
“That’s cool.”
James shrugs. “You’re cool. It makes sense.”
“Sometimes I feel that it’s unfair to Sirius that I like him,” Remus says, and James knows that is what Remus wanted to say in the first place. “That’s a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry.”
James flicks Remus’ head. “Don’t apologize, you twat.”
Remus smiles. “You’re the twat.”
“And it is a stupid thing to say. How is it unfair?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. At all.” James shakes his head. He hates that Remus thinks that. If only he could put his two friends in a room and force them to say these things to each other. “Sirius is lucky that you like him. I wish you liked me instead. Screw that guy, come make out with me.”
Remus laughs. “I would totally make out with you. But the heart wants what it wants." Remus pauses. "The heart is a bitch.”
“Is it the hair?” James asks. “I can totally grow my hair out if you want. Did you know my dad has this whole hair business empire thing? And if it’s the eyes there are spells for that! It definitely isn't the music talent, right? He’s the worst person in the choir. And I’m better at Quidditch.”
Remus whistles. “You really are the whole package, Jamie.”
“Damn right!”
“It's the Sirius,” Remus says, then he groans. “Wow. That’s humiliating. I can’t believe I actually said that.”
James pats Remus’ back. “It happens in the best of families, I’m afraid.” Remus chuckles and James really hopes Remus and Sirius figure it out soon.
#Barbie has a great day everyday#Ken only has a great day when Barbie looks at him#Except Remus and Sirius only have great days when the other looks at them <3#also Remus peeling oranges <3 for the people he loves <3#also angsty Remus sort of spawns out of nowhere like that's really not what I had in mind lol#also also James <3#just James loml wonderful friend best quidditch player hair empire heir <3#remus x sirius#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#marauders era#my writing
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Friends don’t look at friends that way
Pairing:Joe Burrow x reader
Word count: 1505
September 2014
Today was your first day at Athens High School, but you weren't a freshman. Your dads business opportunity has led you here for your senior year. Only knowing the people on the dance team, which you were a part of. You honestly didn’t know them well enough to call them friends yet. The only person you knew on a personal level was your new neighbor Joe Burrow.
Joe was the quarterback on the football team, but he didn’t act like a football player. He was kind unlike any other football player you have had interactions with. He was smart as well. You could have an intellectual conversation with him.
Suddenly you are pulled from your thoughts by a knock on the front door.
“Let’s go Y/N don’t want you to be late on your first day.”
You and Joe had grown close over the summer. Often hanging out on the weekends.
“Coming, geez give me a minute.” you yelled through the door going to open it.
Once out the door you locked it and got into Joe's car. Of course Kid Cudi was playing in the background.
“Our schedules are the same,” You said after examining his schedule.
“That's cool!”
Joe knew that already he made sure he had the same classes as you. He enjoyed your company, but he would never tell you that. You could tell he was behind the identical schedules.
“You did this, didn't you?”
“Maybe,” You gave him a ‘I know it was you’ look and he sighed. “Yeah.”
“I mean thank you, I guess”
You both laughed as he pulled into the school parking lot.
“See you in class.” you said closing the car door. You didn’t want to walk to class with him or walk into the building with him because of the amount of attention it would attract. So you hurried inside and hoped that no one saw you get out of his car.
When you made it to your locker there stood Lacy the captain of the dance team.
“Hey, just so you're aware practice is on the field tonight. We have a game on Friday and the boys won’t be there till later.”
“Okay thank you.”
She walked away and you put your books in your locker and headed to class.
The only bright spot of your classes was actually having someone to sit by. Joe made sure to save you a spot in every class, even during lunch. But the school day was soon over and practice was in full swing.
The boys walk out of the locker room during your last run through of the halftime routine. Once Joe saw you he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. His friends took notice.
“Ohhh does Burrow have a crush on the new girl?”
“No, we're just friends.”
“Friends don’t look at friends that way man.” His team mate said then patted his back.
January 2016
Joe and You both ended up at Ohio State, both of you were buckeyes. You made it on the dance team and he was on the football team. Although he was redshirted he showed up to every game and every practice. There you guys met one of your best friends Sam Hubbard. He was part of the football team with Joe. They instantly became friends and Joe introduced him to you and things clicked. The three of us soon became an unbreakable trio. Often spending your weekends together, most of the time you guys just went to get coffee. You guys tried to go to the bar one time, but never again. Joe and Sam would get extremely protective over you, Joe even punched a man who hit on you. Your movie night tradition remained which now included Sam.
Both of them showed up to all of your dance competitions and performances. You showed up to all of their games. But today was a huge day, they both flew out to Florida to support you at nationals.
You were extremely nervous, you couldn’t focus. You were shaking running through the routine in your head over and over again. Joe saw this and knew he needed to help you out.
He ran over to you and gave you a huge hug, upon feeling Joes touch your nervousness faded. Your teammates took notice of your reaction to seeing him.
“Hey, you got this! I’m gonna go sit by Sam but I want you to know that I believe in you.”
He then turns his back and walks over to Sam.
“Wait, are you two together?” Sarah asks, pointing Joe out.
“No, we're just friends.”
“Really? Because friends don’t look at friends' way.”
You sighed, you knew she was right. You did have feelings for Joe but you two could never be together, it just wouldn’t work.
“And friends don’t do what he just did for you. I can tell he loves you.”
You tried to shake the thought from your mind. Joe couldn’t have feelings for you. Could he? No he could have any girl he wanted, he didn’t want you.
August 2018
Today was a rough day, Joe was leaving for LSU, he decided to transfer after being redshirted his entire career at OSU.
“Come visit me, I’d love for you to see me play.”
“I promise I’ll come see a game. If not this season then next season.”
Joe smiles and gives you a hug, once he pulls away he walks to the car. You waited until his car was out of sight then you ran to your room and started crying. Robin noticed and followed you.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She said rubbing your back as you continued to cry.
“I think I’m in love with your son, and he doesn’t know I exist in that realm. He thinks of me as his best friend and that’s it.”
Robin knew the two of you loved each other. She had a similar conversation with Joe about a month ago. She couldn’t tell you that though. She just offered you a small smile and continued to comfort you.
First day of school
Today was going to be incredibly tough. You had to walk into school without Joe and Sam. You kept your head down, only paying attention during classes. You walked down the hall until you hit something hard.
“I’m so sorry.” You said keeping your head down.
“No worries. What’s your name?”
“Yeah, Im Y/n. What’s your name?”
“Cody, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“You’re on the football team aren’t you. You look kinda familiar.”
“Yeah, I’m the tight end.”
“We’ll nice to meet you Cody but I gotta go”
“Wait can I maybe get your number?”
You smile and nod, grabbing a post it out of your bag and giving him your number. Then walked away.
It didn’t take long for you two to start dating, Cody was kind and sensitive. You went to every game, although it felt weird supporting a different number than Joes.
You were so busy with Cody you sort of forgot about your promise to Joe. You didn’t visit him and definitely didn’t see a game. But you did continue to call him every night.
After a few months Cody started getting really jealous of your relationship with Joe. He ended up making you block Joe's number. You listened to Cody, you thought you loved him. But by April you were sitting in your dorm crying because he broke your heart.
There was only one person you wanted to text, but you couldn’t bring yourself to text him. You had been avoiding him for a month what would he think if you reached out to him?
So you texted Sam, who responded right away. He came to your dorm with ice cream and movies. You sat and talked for hours, before Sam told you to text Joe.
You called Joe but he didn’t pick up.
Summer before Joes heisman season
Joe came home and didn’t even walk into his house. The first thing he did was go to your house. He let himself in using the hidden key. He was upset and hurt but most of all he was worried about you. Walking up the stairs to your room he heard crying. He opened the door and ran to you and hugged you.
“Shh it’s okay.” He said soothingly while brushing your hair.
“How can you be so nice after what I did to you?”
“Sam filled me in, am I hurt yes. But you are the most important person in my life.”
“I- I didn’t want to but, he made me.”
“Shhh I know, I know.”
You cried harder. You missed Joe so much, you missed his embrace.
“Don’t ever let a man make decisions for you again. You are strong.” He cooed in your ear.
You pulled away and looked him in the eyes.
“Joe?” you asked
“Yeah?”
“Friends don’t look at friends this way.”
“Friends don’t look at friends this way.” He said then kissed you. It was full of passion and need.
Thank you @funnyjb for proof reading ♥️
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So, since Smosh fans are targeting Damien, despite him being the only Smosh member who talked about Palestine, are they gonna have the same energy with people like Shayne, Courtney, Amanda, etc, who never ONCE spoke up about the Palestine situation? Are they gonna hold the rest of Smosh accountable for not using their platform to spread awareness like Damien did?
There's something very backwards about Damien taking the heat when he's the single person who's been remotely talking about Palestine while everyone just kinda didn't even try?
Linking this ask to this because it somewhat sums up my thoughts on the whole ordeal so far.
This whole fandom has a problem of bias with Smosh cast members and their overall silence on Palestine.
It’s easier to just antagonize/dogpile on Noah being in a video since he happened to be the loudest about it back in October, and make him the big Zionist villain of Smosh while most/all cast members have been radio silent on the issue at best.
I’m almost absolutely sure if we repeatedly pressured Smosh every video, every stream, they’d actively DO SOMETHING about it, or at the very least address it.
It’s far easier on us, the collective, to go “aw shucks Noah’s in this one, best skip it” than to boycott, and continue to pressure. I know we can, see the response to making sword AF audio only.
I’m almost just as sure that there has to be some Zionism going upwards of executive at Smosh and Pressalike, tangentially. They were quick as hell to be vocal about BLM in 2020, I can’t help but wonder why the silence now.
This is a self report too. We need to continue to boycott, protest, and rightfully call out creators with a platform when they say some sus shit.
But Twitter has a MASSIVE atmosphere of polarization, and almost never allows for any sort of walkback or nuance of an interaction/reaction to be brought into the conversation. The OP is valid for being upset about the joke and how Damien handled his apology. Damien is valid for wanting a break from social media after the backlash. It’s better than him continuing to argue with fans on the internet and doubling down.
Anyways yeah, free Palestine, fuck twitter, but also giving my regards to the OP and hoping that their family gets to a safe situation and that Israel can be launched into the sun.
#smosh#damien haas#noah grossman#free palestine#it’s easy to be parasocial abt this all and defend our faves but also#think about who’s in the position of privilege and power here
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Congrats on your milestone! For your event, may I request top of foot with Simeon, pre-relationship?
I'd like to also request GNC if possible.
Hiii, anon! Thanks! 🤍
Here’s our sweet angel and gn!reader. It turned out very different from what I first planned, IAUSEHASIUEHAS. I hope you like iiit! :3
Simeon + Top of the foot
Words: 580
Tags: pre-relationship; gn!reader; Simeon calls you “little lamb”.
You let out a low, thoughtful hum, catching Simeon’s attention. Both of you are in his bedroom, enjoying the tranquility of an afternoon free from classes as you read together. He leans against the headboard of his bed while you’re sprawled beside him, your feet next to his body. Though he can’t see your face as you lie on your stomach, he can imagine your confused expression, and he can’t help but smile.
“Everything alright, little lamb?”
“Hm?” You look over your shoulder to meet his eyes. “Ah, yes. Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your reading. I just... don’t understand the characters in this book.”
“What have they done?” He closes his own book, his attention now solely on you.
“It’s more like what they haven’t done,” you frown, turning around to sit up and meet his celadon-blue eyes as you begin to explain the whole plot of the book. The angel hums and occasionally makes comments, but he mostly listens intently to every word you have to say. “And even after all this, they still haven’t said anything about their feelings to each other.”
“Perhaps there’s more to the story than what you can see for now,” he smiles, tilting his head to the side. “You still have some chapters left to finish the book, right?”
“Yes, but this is a romance. I thought they’d be together sooner, but they seem to grow farther apart with every passing chapter.”
He hums thoughtfully, “It might seem that way to you, but I think they’re growing closer in other aspects. From what you’ve told me, they trust each other with their lives, they have a strong friendship, and they deeply care for each other. Their connection goes beyond romance; it’s as if their very souls are bound together.”
His voice was gentle as always, but there was an undertone to it that made you wonder if he was speaking from personal experience. Your heartbeat quickened at the thought, and you commanded it to calm down before Simeon could hear it from across the bed.
“Oh, I didn’t think of it that way. I just thought... they should express their feelings, I don’t know…” You look back down at the book in your hands, averting your gaze from his. It’s not like you can say much either, never having told Simeon about your own feelings for him.
“They can express their feelings in other ways than just saying ‘I love you’.” Simeon puts his book down on the mattress and takes hold of your foot beside him.
“Yeah, you’re right,” you smile, but it falters when he brings your foot to his lips. You had assumed he would just massage it like he does sometimes, and you let out a surprised noise.
“I’m always here to listen and help you,” he murmurs against your skin, flashing that tender smile you love so much, and then places a kiss on the top of your foot.
“Thank you,” your voice is low, and you fear your heart might beat out of your chest from how loud and fast it is.
“Just keep this conversation in mind. Sometimes you can demonstrate love in other ways.”
Your eyes widen as you feel your cheeks warm up, then he grabs your other foot and places a kiss on top of it too. Simeon just keeps smiling at you, wondering when you will notice his intentions. Perhaps he should find more obvious ways to show his feelings.
Beneath The Milky Twilight ♥ Event Masterlist
#beneath the milky twilight event#💌 anon#obey me#obey me writings#obey me scenarios#obey me fanfics#obey me simeon#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me simeon x reader
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EDIT: This is a repost from a few days ago, because I hated the fact it was hidden for no reason.
Ok, here’s the first of my stupid JJK fanfic concepts.
The first one was ‘fix it’, for a relative use of the word, where Suguru, after killing the village, does call Satoru for help. He doesn’t know really what kind of help he’s asking for, or even what Satoru could provide, but he is being the bigger person here by asking, right?
It was supposed to be a comedy where Satoru and Shoko scramble around, trying to cover up what Suguru had done. Suguru is not actively helping it this. He’s been convinced to maybe not go and kill all the non-sorcerers, for the twins he had rescued to have a good life at least. But he won’t lie about what he did if someone gets too close to ask, and the twins love the fact they were saved by him and want to brag whenever they could. Satoru and Shoko have to make up so many lies.
Yaga: What happened to the village?!
Suguru: Huh? Oh I kil-
Satoru: -killed the curse! Nasty thing it was, setting the town a blaze and then blowing it up. There’s not even a house left.
Yaga:…. The damage looks like your red attack, Satoru.
Satoru: What? No. What? Ha! No. I wasn’t even there!
Yaga: Then how do you know the houses are gone?
Satoru: …. I read.
It ended up not really funny enough for me? And I also didn’t have much of an idea of how to continue it. Under the cut is what little I had lol
It started with a phone call in the middle of an empty town.
Well, actually, it started a few days before that, with a conversation in an empty classroom.
“You’re back early.” Suguru noted with dull surprise as Satoru walked in. ‘Dull’ seemed to be the only way he felt now a days, and looking at Satoru, he would guess the other boy felt the same way, with how exhaustion seemed to cling to him.
Still, Satoru managed to smile at him, much brighter than Suguru had been capable of lately. “Hey, Suguru!” He said, falling with all his weight in the chair meet to him. The chair tilted back at the force before falling back to all fours. “The higher ups messed up on the ranking of the last curse they sent me to.”
Suguru hated the flash of fear he felt, the most realized emotion he has had in what felt like months, even though he knew nothing would harm Satoru. “Oh?” He asked, in a calm that he didn’t actually feel. Satoru laughed. It didn’t sound like an actual laugh, almost grating against his throat.
“Oh yeah.” He huffed. “A grade 2. They sent me after a grade 2, Suguru! I don’t even have the words to express how outraged and offended I am right now.”
He didn’t sound outraged and offended. He just sounded tired. Still, Suguru settled in, waiting for the rant from his friend that was inevitably coming.
Except, Satoru didn’t. Satoru fell quiet, looking him up and down from behind his glasses.
“I skipped out on sightseeing to maybe catch you before your next mission.” He said. Suguru looked at him in surprise, and maybe a little pleased. Still, Satoru didn’t look happy. “I didn’t mean to get back so late, so imagine my surprise to find you in an empty classroom in the middle of the night.”
“Huh?”
“Suguru.” Wow, he had never heard Satoru sound so disapproving. “Suguru, it’s three am. And you’re sitting in an empty classroom. What’s wrong?”
What wasn’t wrong? Somehow Suguru didn’t Satoru would appreciate that answer.
Also, he hadn’t realized the time. He had sat in there to take a break before going to get dinner, having to work up the nerve to enter the admittedly pretty sparse cafeteria area.
“…Haibara thinks I’m a good person.” Suguru said at last, unable to help himself. Satoru looked at him in surprise, glasses sliding down his nose.
“Uh?” He tilted his head with a frown. “Well, duh. Course he does. That’s because you are a good person, Suguru.”
Suguru had nothing to say to that. Satoru’s frown deepened as the silence stretched on.
“…. Suguru?” He asked almost hesitantly, as if Satoru Gojo was ever hesitant in anything. “Do you… feel like you aren’t a good person?”
He shouldn’t talk about this. He shouldn’t bring it up. He shouldn’t even think about it. But his best friend was here, in reach, in a way that he hadn’t been in a while.
“I think… I think I hate them, Satoru.” He said hoarsely. Satoru paused.
“Eh? Who?”
“Them. The-The Mon-“ Suguru cleared his throat, looking away. “…the non-sorcerers.”
Satoru leaned back in his seat. “Oh.” He said quietly, like he was surprised. He didn’t say anything more.
“Didn’t you feel like this?” Suguru asked desperately. “Last year? When-“
He cut off. Last year, when Suguru found his not dead best friend carrying Riko’s lifeless body, looking at him with equally lifeless eyes, while all those-those cult members just clapped around them at a young girl’s death.
‘Should we kill them all?’ Satoru had asked him. Suguru had answered ‘no’ at the time, but now-
This time, it’s Satoru that goes silent, staring at him for a long moment. “….not really.” He admitted after a while. Suguru gulped, his curses burning in his stomach like acid. “I didn’t feel really anything last year, when I asked. I was pretty out of it. I don’t… think I could actually hate anyone.” He sighed, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “That sounds exhausting to care that much, honestly.”
“Oh.” Suguru said, quietly, and then nothing else. Satoru didn’t let the silence settle this time, leaning forward with a sudden burst of energy.
“Ok!” He clapped his hands, the noise echoing in the empty room. “So you hate them! Let’s put a pin in that for the moment!” He smiled, a little stretched thin, and made a motion with his hands like he was pinning something to a cork board.
Suguru frowned, Yuki’s voice circling in his head. This did not feel like something he should ‘put a pin in’ right now. This felt like he should figure it out as soon as he could, to let one side win out before it tore him apart. “Satoru I-“
“Nope!” Satoru, the annoyance, put up a hand to silence him. “It is much too late for this! So, Haibara thinks you’re a good person, and you do not agree. What do you want to do about that?”
“I thought we were ‘putting a pin in it’. “ Suguru grumbled, crossing his arms. Satoru shook his head.
“You miss understand me!” He huffed. “It’s like you never listen! I know you, Suguru. Ignoring all this ‘hating non-sorcerers’ crap, there’s something else bothering you, right?”
Eh? Honestly, not really. The ‘hating non-sorcerers’ thing was taking up a large amount of his daily bandwidth.
But he could see what Satoru was aiming for- something else to focus on. When the main problem was too much, then let something else be the problem for a bit. It was a tactic usually used on Satoru himself, or Shoko on occasion when her medical classes got too much, but this was the first time it had been used on Suguru himself. It took him a minute to think past his bigger issues as a result, so far out of his comfort zone as he was.
Finally, he settled on, “Fine. I’m worried about Haibara, but it’s finally my own downtime and I’m exhausted. Not only that, but now you’re here, and we never get to hang out anymore.”
“Huh? Worried about Haibara?” Satoru sighed. “Yeah, the higher ups are shit about curse classification. And Haibara’s just a second year too.”
“We’re just third years.” Suguru felt compelled to say. Satoru laughed like he told some great joke, which maybe he did. He was only 17, but he hadn’t felt like a kid in a long time.
After a long moment of nothing but the sound of Satoru’s laughter, he calmed down, leaning forward on his knees as he took deep breaths. Then, he stood up, stretching as he did so. “Well then. Come on.”
“What?” Suguru hurried to stand up as well, to catch up to Satoru as he walked out the classroom door. “Where are we going?”
“To go check on Haibara, of course.” Satoru said, like it was obvious.
“Uh, no? Did you not listen to me?” Suguru asked, closing the door behind them. “I said that I was exhausted and that it was my off day!”
“And that you wanted to spend time with me. I heard you, I swear!” Satoru said, waving a hand. “But considering I found you at three am in an empty classroom, I’m going out on a limb here and saying that you won’t be sleeping tonight.”
Suguru didn’t have anything to say to that. Satoru kept talking, regardless of his lack of answer.
“So, let’s be productive and check on our little Kōhai! We only have two of those, so we gotta protect what we got!”
“Nanami will never like you.”
“Rude! Also probably true.” Satoru laughed, this time sounding much more genuine. “So, look. Well sleep on the train, and then hang out in town after checking on Haibara. And being out means that we can’t be assigned missions all willy nilly!”
They absolutely could. They had cell phones for a reason, and Yaga had their numbers. But Suguru could see the appeal to thinking otherwise, so he didn’t argue.
Satoru then threw something over his shoulder, forcing Suguru to catch it. “Here, catch.”
Suguru opened his hand slowly, falling into step with Satoru as they walked through the empty halls. It was a hair tie- more specifically, it was Suguru’s favorite hair tie, that he thought he had lost ages ago. He frowned, even as he reached up to pull his hair into a bun.
“Why are you stealing my hair ties?” He asked, making quick work of his hair with practiced movements. “What, want little space buns in your hair?”
“Hah! I would rock that and you know it!” Satoru said, hands in his pockets. “I just found that one, you know? And then I thought it would be a good luck charm!”
“That’s so lame.” Suguru rolled his eyes.
“I don’t think so.” Satoru said, with a hum. “I found you tonight, didn’t I?”
Suguru didn’t have an answer to that, and so he stayed silent.
———-
In the middle of a lifeless town of his own doing, Suguru called Satoru.
He was only half aware he was doing it. Standing in the middle of the street with only the half eaten corpses of his victims, and the groaning of his curses swirling around him, he was moving more on autopilot than anything else. Everything seemed both hazy and incredibly clear for the first time in a while, like he was no longer fighting himself but also having a major fucking breakdown.
He had a problem, and so he did the only thing he could think of- calling Satoru. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, dragging Satoru in his actions, in his consequences. Maybe he should have done this ages ago, asking Satoru to fix his problems like everyone else in their world seemed too. The thought left a rotten taste in his mouth, somehow even worse than the curses he ate.
A large part of him didn’t actually expect Satoru to pick up. Satoru rarely could answer when he was out on a mission, the veils doing too good of a job in cutting communications, and often forgot to return the missed calls later. So Suguru listened to the ringing once, twice, three times, waiting for the dial tone to start as he watched one of his curses slowly make its way to a body blankly.
Then the ringing went one for a fourth time, then a fifth, before being interrupted by an unexpected click and, “Hey, Suguru!”
Suguru’s mouth felt dry. The curse in front of him reached the body. He didn’t have the care to stop it from sinking its half formed claws into it.
“I got told you were on a mission.” Satoru continued. “Already done?”
Yes. Curse exorcised, curse ingested, village dead. Two out of three things weren’t bad.
“….Suguru?” Satoru’s voice turned confused, sounding almost small over the phone. “Is this a butt dial?”
Oh, right. He should probably answer.
“Can you even hear me-?” Satoru started to asked, only to be cut off.
“I killed everyone in town.” Suguru said bluntly. He finally shooed the curse away from the corpse once it started making a mess. He wanted no chance for any more monkey blood to get on him.
“….huh?” Satoru asked, more of an intake of air than an actual question. “Come, uh, come again? What village?”
“The village I was sent to.” Suguru answered simply, and then wondered why he was doing this. Why did he call Satoru, as if that would help anything.
“Ok, can I ask why?”
“Those monkeys had two girls in a cage, blaming them for what was happening.” Some of the anger came back, remembering what the monkeys had done, and he let his curses go back to the destruction they had been causing. It still didn’t cut through the haze as much as add to it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about something like that.
“Ah. The pin fell out.” Satoru said, much, much to calm for the situation. Was he in as much of a haze as Suguru? Unlikely. Actually, was this how Satoru felt last year, after killing Fushiguro, standing there surrounded by monkeys clapping for a young girl’s death? Satoru had said that he hadn’t felt much of anything, and maybe Suguru felt like that too. Or maybe Suguru was simply feeling too much, no longer at odds with himself but still drowning in emotion.
“-killed everybody?” Satoru’s voice filtered back in. Suguru blinked, not realizing that he had zoned out, and taking a step back in disgust as some blood splattered onto his shoes.
“The two girls.” He answered, in what he vaguely hoped was an actual answer to whatever Satoru had asked. “I saved them.”
“You certainly did something.” Satoru muttered, voice muffled. Suguru could almost see what he was doing- running around, doing something else while his cell phone was shoved between his ear and his shoulder. Then, clearer, Satoru said, “Suguru, listen, I’ll be there in just a second. Just… don’t do anything else, ok? Put the pin back for a minute.”
“The pin-?” Suguru tried to question, only to be met with the dial tone. He made a face, half heartedly, and slid his phone shut. He couldn’t believe the asshole hung up on him-
The air shook. Suguru held his breath, almost unconsciously, as the cursed energy of the town seemed to spark, dancing around him in ways that made his curses go haywire. There was almost a faint taste of ozone on his tongue, familiar, before everything snapped violently back into place, just like it had been.
Just like it had been, except for Satoru standing there, panting like he had overextended himself. Suguru blinked, mildly interested.
“You figured out how to do that?” He asked. Satoru’s head snapped over to him, like he hadn’t noticed him standing there before, as his breathing got under control.
“Not really.” He said with a half grin, obviously wanting to brag about his new abilities, even as his head tilted to the side to take in the mess Suguru’s curses have left. “This was my first time going so far. But you know what they say- Necessity breeds intervention!”
“I didn’t know you knew that saying.” Suguru answered easily, feeling both more grounded now that Satoru was there, and more out of control at the banter in the middle of a massacre. “You can actually read.”
Satoru pouted, forced, as he walked over. He avoided the bodies and blood easily. Suguru was a little jealous, the monkey blood starting to cool on his clothes.
“So mean Suguru!” He whined, glasses slipping down his nose as he gave him a once over. Satoru made a face. “You look like shit, and it’s not just the blood. When was the last time you slept?”
When was the last time he slept? He couldn’t think of the answer, but he didn’t want to tell Satoru that. He opted to say nothing, which actually might have been the worse thing to do, judging by the expression it caused.
“The fact that you won’t say is terrifying.” Satoru said, pushing his glasses back up. “Was it before this mission.”
Definitely.
“….before Haibara’s mission?” Satoru asked a bit more hesitantly, when Suguru stayed quiet. Suguru still didn’t answer, but that didn’t stop Satoru from looking frustrated and dismayed. “Oh my god. Suguru, what the fuck. No wonder you snapped and killed this village.”
“The monkeys deserved it.” He grumbled, looking away. He didn’t need to justify himself again- Satoru knew why he did it, why he had to do it. Satoru sighed.
“I told you to keep a pin in that!” He snapped, making that same stupid motion of placing a pin in something that he made a few days prior. “Whatever. Where are these girls?”
The two girls (that he still didn’t know the name of, fuck) were safe in a bed in the inn. The same inn where he had checked into what felt like years ago, but was in all honestly simply the night before. Before… everything. He pointed over to it, seeing Satoru follow his finger to the building. It was the most he could do, energy failing him now that someone else was there to take over.
One by one, the curses around them disappeared, going back inside of him as he lost the concentration to keep them out. He could tell Satoru noticed, judging by the way he looked around.
“Suguru.” He looked down, staring as Satoru reached forward to grab his hand. “This is very important. Did you ever tell the school about the curse from Haibara’s mission?”
He shook his head slowly, confused. There had been no time to do so. They had gotten to where Haibara’s mission was just in time to knock the younger boy out of the way from what had been probably a killing move, and then exorcised the curse quickly, in a way that Nanami and Haibara’s simply weren’t capable of. One hit of Red from Satoru and the curse was easy pickings for Suguru to eat, as much as he didn’t want to. When the four of them made it back to the campus, Yaga had new missions for him and Satoru immediately. Suguru never got around with telling anyone about the new curse.
(He briefly thought about the train ride home, with Haibara’s hero worship awkwardly directed at them, and Nanami’s mutterings about just leaving everything to him and Satoru, instead of risking their own lives. Suguru’s mouth felt dry again.)
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the last dance - huang renjun
PAIRING ▸ painter!huang renjun x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ romance, fluff, angst, lots of angst, supernatural, wayyy too much angst
WARNINGS ▸ angst. and character death
SUMMARY ▸ you've fallen in love with the gentle painter, renjun. though the locals call you a witch, renjun doesn't seem to care. but that all changes when they come to kill you. no matter how much pain it causes, you'll never regret falling in love with him.
WORD COUNT ▸3.7k (not proofread 😭)
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ suffer
PROLOGUE | MASTERLIST
Something feels quite warm… it was an unusually comforting warmth, and it lay right beside you. You opened your eyes- “Renjun?”
The source of the warmth was the human Renjun, who was lying next to you in bed. Strange. What is he doing asleep in your room? And yet, all your questions and concerns disappeared when you looked at his sleeping face. He was as beautiful as an angel. Renjun had more than an angel’s good looks. He had the heart of one too.
You recalled your first real conversation, just a few days after he’d arrived here. There had been an accident in the stables with one of our horses. Renjun was going to be trampled. You’d pushed him out of the way. He carried your bruised and broken body inside, apologizing all the while…
“Oh, god…! Oh, miss, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for you to get hurt! I should have gotten out of the way…!”
You felt so bad seeing Renjun blame himself, that before you knew it you were saying, “It’s all right. You mustn’t fear for me. I’m what they call… a witch.”
“A witch?”
“See for yourself. My wounds…they’re gone.” You gestured towards your arms, displaying them for him to see.
“So, you can… cast magic?”
“...Not exactly. Humans are quick to label all they deem as frightening witches, but my true title is an eterni.”
“‘Frightening?’”
“Yes. Those who know of us and this place fear it and refuse to talk about it. It’s all quite silly, when you pause to think!” I tried to laugh it off in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Renjun looked serious.
“You don’t have to smile if it makes you sad. You don’t have to lock away your emotions. That forced smile doesn’t look right on you. And they shouldn’t call you such awful names. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a person, just like me. And a nice one, too.”
“But I’m not like you, I’m a-”
“Your wounds may heal fast, but did they hurt when you got them?”
His point resonated with me. You’d never had a human care so much. The ice that had formed around your heart after so much pain and betrayal began to melt with his words. Could you… trust him?
“See, Y/n? There’s nothing separating you and me. Nothing that I care about.”
After that, you and Renjun began to spend more time together. To the exclusion of the other men Ricky had brought. That didn’t mean you expected to see him in your bed!
Just then, Renjun stirred… “..mmhm..Good…morning… huh? Y/n? What are you doing in my bed?”
“I’m afraid you’re in my bed, Renjun.”
“...I am…?” Renjun sat up and looked around in shock. “... I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen for some water. I guess I ended up in your room. Sorry, I still don’t know this place well!” He was even charming when he was guilty. Renjun truly seemed descended from the angels.
“Do not apologize. You were warm, so I was rather happy to have you in bed with me.”
“Um.. you were?”
“I mean, it’s not the fact that you were in bed with me that made me happy! It was-” Actually, there’s nothing incorrect about what you said. It DID make you happy. You couldn’t seem to explain it right.
Renjun leaned forward in bed, looking at you. “Are you saying I’m like a dog?”
“A dog?”
“Yeah. Like you felt happy because it was just like sleeping with a big, warm dog?”
Of course it wasn’t the same. Because Renjun, I’ve fallen in love with you…
You’d fallen in love with the man who smiled at you and told you, you were the same. He had let you feel what you’d never felt before. But you’d decided not to tell this to Renjun. For you were soon to leave this world… “There’s nothing to fear. I don’t think of you as a dog. Although, you are a bit like a puppy.”
“Wait, so now I’m a smaller dog…?”
“I simply mean that you’re cute. Now, you will want breakfast, of course. And after that, you’re going to paint, aren’t you?” He smiled and nodded. Truly, you couldn’t bear to darken such a bright smile with your grim fate.
—
Changing into his artist’s apron, Renjun set up his easel in the garden. He got to work quickly and quietly, the mark of a professional. Renjun’s profession was painter. He specialized in portraits.
“Now that the underlying sketch is complete, you’re going to add in the color-?”
“That’s right. This is actually my favorite part of the job. Though it’s the most challenging.” In one hand, he held his palette, thick dollops of paint creating a cascade of colors.
While pretending to read, you surreptitiously watched Renjun at work. You had once asked him why he chose portraiture of all subjects. Renjun told you that he wanted to capture the emotions of his subjects in the moment. How they lived, not just the way they looked. You could see yourself spending an eternity with someone as wonderful as him. But that was wrong for him. His life and his work was so passionately mortal. Renjun captured what was everlasting. You could not take away what he was.
“...Yep, it’s time for a break.”
“Renjun, may I ask you something?” He shook his head and nodded, “I was hoping you could promise me something. Once the full moon comes, the gate will open and you’ll be free to leave the mansion.” Renjun nodded again, curiosity in his dark almond eyes. “When that happens, I want you to paint as many portraits as possible. To capture as many smiles on your canvas as you can.”
His voice was soft when he spoke again, “All right. I promise. But first, can you tell me something in exchange?” Those beautiful eyes of his suddenly became clouded, “Why did your butler bring us here in the first place? What did you need?” It was the question you’d most feared. “I’ve just been thinking. You haven’t tried to attack anyone, so… why?”
He was right in that he was brought here for a purpose. Renjun and the others had been brought here for you to turn into lesser eterni to continue the line… and save your life. But you had rebelled against that notion and chosen to fade away instead of sharing a fate you found worse than death…
“There was no reason, not really! You see, it has been Ricky and me alone for so long now. It seems Ricky got the silly notion that I might want more company. That I would feel lonely now for the first time in centuries! It’s unfathomable, don’t you think?”
“Well, I can’t say, since I haven’t lived even a fraction of your lifetime, but I don’t think loneliness is something you get used to. I think you can feel it at any time. And that you can’t easily ignore it.” Renjun spoke to your soul. His paintings could reveal someone’s true self; his words had the same power. “Hey, Y/n? After the gate opens and we’re let out, is it possible to come back? Could I come back and see you?”
He wanted to come back here? Your heart ached with a desire to say yes… but you will be gone as soon as he leaves. “That would be a terrible idea. What if you got trapped here for another month? You should spend that time painting!”
“I’ll find the time. I’ll make it work.”
“You really can’t. You mustn’t.”
Renjun wasn’t satisfied but he didn’t argue, “Hmm. If I can’t… then tell me what I can do to help you now, before I leave.” How could he be so kind? If you could request one thing of Renjun…
“Would you dance with me before the full moon has taken it’s place in the sky?”
“You want me to dance with you?”
“Yes. I used to love dancing, but I’ve lost anyone to dance with a long, long time ago. How does that sound?”
“Of course I’ll dance with you. I might need some time to practice if I’m going to be any good at it. Can you wait a little?” You nodded, feigning a smile.
I’m sorry, Renjun. It’s true that I love dancing and dreamed of sharing a dance with the one I love.
Pureblood eterni stop aging past a certain point, which is why we can never stay in one place else we can be caught. And so you’d never sought out love, with a human or eterni. You could not risk them suffering the horrendous fate of your family.
Please allow me this selfish wish. A last memory of you that I can carry with me until the end…
—
Ricky tended to the front gardens, though his heart was not in it. “Hmm? That is most curious.”
There appeared to be a stake planted just outside the gate. Attached to it was a sign. “...This…is not good!”
Ricky’s cries were unfortunately heard by Renjun who had happened to be nearby, “Hey, Ricky. What’s that sig-” Renjun stopped and read it for himself.
The sign read: “The occupants of this cursed residence have been found guilty of witchcraft and will be punished with death.”
“‘Witchcraft’? They must mean Y/n.”
“How did you know madame has-?”
“Early on, she told me she’d been called a witch before.”
“My lady has done nothing wrong-! Some years ago, I..I had encouraged her to visit the city. But there was an accident. She saved people with no thought to her own safety, but when they saw her wounds heal rapidly, they called her a witch.”
“She’s always sacrificing herself to help others.” Renjun’s gaze fell, his voice soft. “Ricky, have you gotten these kinds of notices before? Any threatening letters?”
“No. Not since we hid ourselves away. This is all my fault. Because I trapped the five of you here, they’ve come to kill us..” Ricky, normally calm and collected, was shaken to his core; steel eyes now pale with fright. “The gates will open on the full moon. If they storm the mansion, there is nothing we can do. Oh, Madame, what have I done?”
“Ricky, it’s going to be all right. If they do come, I’ll talk to them. Once they know we’re all right they’ll understand. I won’t let them kill Y/n or you. Listen, you had some reason for bringing us here, right? Some reason important enough to risk being discovered?” Ricky was startled out of his thoughts, though any words died on his tongue, “If you don’t want to say what it is, that’s okay. Let me say something instead… I’ll help you protect Y/n. No matter what. So don’t worry. I’ll be all right.”
Ricky said nothing as Renjun continued on, “First let’s make sure the others don’t find out about this, especially Y/n, okay?” Renjun moved some vines to disguise the view of the sign from their side of the gate, “It hurt her enough to be called a witch. I don’t want her to have to know about this.”
“Why do you care so much for madame?”
“I guess I only have one answer to that… I love her. So of course I want to protect her.” Renjun spoke, his voice strong and true.
“Sir Renjun, I must-”
“What is it Ricky?”
“If you are indeed… in love with the Madame, then I feel as if I must tell you something. Though my lady forbid me to speak of it, on the night of the full moon she will…”
—
The final days passed frighteningly fast. At last, the full moon began to reveal it’s pale form beyond the horizon.
You can feel it. Somehow, you know when the moon reaches it’s final point, your end will come. You changed into a dress suitable for dancing and waited for Renjun’s arrival.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Y/n.”
“Renjun!” He met you on the balcony, stunning in his suit and his angelic smile.
“You look especially beautiful tonight. Of course, you always look pretty.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. I mean, I think you already know I’m no good at lying.”
“I had some idea. Thank you, Renjun.”
Renjun turned his hand up and held it out, “Will you give me this dance, my lady?”
You’d danced with stylishly dressed partners. Renjun, wearing the jacket he arrived in and a touch of moonlight, outshone them all. “...It would be my pleasure.”
I lay my hand in his and we took our first steps together. There was no orchestra playing for us. There were no chandeliers, just the moon above. But you would rather be dancing here, than in the grandest dance hall. You had not expected your last night to end in such a pleasant way. With this as your final memory, you could happily turn to ash. Or so you told yourself.
“Renjun, the gate will be opening any moment. It may already be open, in fact.” Renjun said nothing. Perhaps he was looking for the words to say goodbye? “Do not worry. There’s nothing you need to say. Though before you go, I wish to thank-”
“Don’t say thank you like you’re saying goodbye.” His voice was still ringing in your ears when you realized Renjun was now holding you tight.
“Renjun? Wh-what is it?”
“I promise I won’t let you die.”
“...W-what do you…?”
“Ricky told me that if you don’t let a human drink your blood by tonight, you’ll turn to ash.” The peaceful lie you had created shattered. So it had come to this. “But then they become an eterni. And you’d rather disappear yourself, than do that to someone. Right?” There was nothing to say. He was right. “I don’t want you to disappear, Y/n. Won’t you let me drink your blood instead?”
The arms that held me and the voice that pled with me were all shaking. “Renjun, I cannot do that.”
“Why not?” He broke from me, his gaze pained. “Look at me, Y/n.”
Suddenly there were shouts from below. Angry shouts. They were getting louder. You leaned over the balcony to look out into the garden; you were shocked by what you saw. A crowd of humans were spilling through the open gates and into the mansion grounds.
“...They’re here.”
“Who are they? What is going on?”
“It’s nothing. I’ll be right back. Please, promise me you’ll stay here.” He smiled as if to calm me, but Renjun raced down the stairs with frightening urgency. It obviously wasn’t nothing! You looked back at the townspeople outside your home. Torches and weapons–both real and improvised–held high. That mob. You had seen their kind before. You could not let Renjun go out there alone.
No sooner had you exited into the foyer, you saw them coming in through the front door. They had taken Ricky.
“Release the men you’ve taken prisoner and bring out the witch!”
“I’ve been trying to tell you, we’ve already released them! As for the madame, I am afraid I cannot let you in to see her!”
“He lies! I’m sure they’ve already killed them! MONSTERS! You and your devil’s mistress will pay with your lives!” Their cries for vengeance rose louder until they were furious and uncontrollable. They grabbed Ricky, restrained and shoved him, attempting to push him through the crowd at the door and outside.
Five men go missing from the village. Of course they would come searching. And now, they’re here to kill us. I needed to do something, but fear–memories of my family’s brutal slaughter–froze me to the spot. Until I heard a voice.
“She’s not a witch!”
“Is that… Renjun? It’s you! You’re alive?!”
“Yes, I’m alive! And she didn’t kill the others either! That’s why I won’t let you kill her!”
You wanted to call out to him. They wouldn’t listen. “She’s bewitched you! Renjun, wake up! Remember who you are! You’re human!”
Another added, “W-what if it’s too late? Where’s the witch? She may be speaking through him!”
“No! Listen to me. I haven’t been bewitched and I’m not being controlled! Everyone, please. Let them both go. Put down your weapons so we can all talk.”
“Renjun. All right. We can talk… just prove to us it’s still you. First, show us where the witch is-”
Renjun was growing more and more annoyed at his peers, “Are you listening to me? She’s not a witch! I won’t let you see her until you understand.”
“D-do you hear that? He’s protecting her! He’s become her familiar! It’s too late for him. Kill him! Then we kill the witch!” Two men grabbed him, one on each side. Another readied his weapon. You ran towards them.
“Renjun!” Faster than a human could, you reached him; you threw your arms around him; you felt the blade that was meant for him piece you through.
Over the fire and pain in my body, I heard a kind voice say, “Your wounds may heal fast, but did they hurt when you got them?”
“Y/n…?” You opened your eyes and there was Renjun. Then he stared, stunned at his hand, red with crimson blood.
“Your hand… you’re not hurt… are you?”
“No. Y-you’re hurt… you’re b-bleeding… Why? I told you to stay there!”
“I couldn’t… let you face them… alone…” Renjun looked in horror as the blood kept spreading. Your wounds were not healing this time. Your body had already reached its limits. Renjun turned his attention to the townsfolk as he shouted angrily, “Do you see now? Do you see what you’ve done? LOOK AT HER! She’s not a witch! Would a witch sacrifice herself to protect a human? W-would a witch-...?! …Get out. All of you, get out! Go! And never hurt this poor woman again!”
What magic Renjun had used, I did not know. But his tears… an angel’s tears, had doused their murderous rage. Distantly, so distantly now, I heard the crowd disperse. When I opened my eyes, only Renjun and Ricky remained.
“M-my lady, I will fetch some water! Give me… Just a moment and soon you will be-...”
“No, Ricky… It is already time. Besides, I wish for you to stay.”
“Madame… this is all my fault.”
Renjun on the other hand was equally as distressed as Ricky was, maybe even a little bit more, “Why? Why couldn’t I protect you? After I swore to keep you safe, I couldn’t!”
“My dearest Renjun… You have protected me from more than you can possibly know…” He looked ready to cry. And so I took his hand and guided it to my heart. “You saved my heart from my fear…”
“Your heart?”
“Do you remember…telling me nothing separated us…? And when you defended me just now.” I heard the quiet approach of death like the fall of sand from an hourglass. “It was thanks to you. I was able to save the ones important to me…I couldn’t die happier.”
“Y/n…”
Thank you, Renjun, for descending from heaven to give me peace before the end.
You could not see him anymore. But you could feel his hand. You squeezed it. “R-Renjun…?”
“What is it Y/n?” You felt him lean in close.
“I was happy for the time we spent together… I loved watching you paint. P-please, will you paint more…? Will you show… everyone… your beautiful art..?”
“Don’t go… Don’t go, Y/n…!”
“I love you.” Those words softly escaped your lips as quick as your breath left.
“Y/n? Y/n, open your eyes. Open your eyes and look at me once more…”
Moonlight seemed to emanate from your still features, until your body broke apart and dispersed into drifting ash. Only the memory of your smile was left now. Not the smile of a witch or human, but of an angel…
—
Though it felt as if life itself might stop for those who lost Y/n, time continued on. A few months after that night, Ricky carried a bouquet of sunflowers to lay on the grave memorializing Y/n. It was Renjun who had arranged for her ashes to be buried here. And today…
“Sir Renjun, is that you?”
“Hey Ricky. I had a strange feeling I might run into you here today.”
“But of course. This is where my lady rests. And I swore to serve her faithfully until death. But what brings you here…?”
“I’ve been painting another portrait. It’s just about finished. Would you like to see it?” Renjun set the portrait upon the easel. Ricky covered his mouth with his hands. But his eyes-he could not look away. For etched on the canvas was Y/n, smiling at him with her gentle smile.
Renjun closed his eyes and recalled the words he’d shared with Y/n, not so long ago…
“Renjun, may I ask you something? I was hoping you could promise me something. Once the full moon comes, the gate will open and you’ll be free to leave the mansion.”
He realized then that she might have always known this was how it would end.
“When that happens, I want you to paint as many portraits as possible. To capture as many smiles on your canvas as you can.”
Renjun turned to look at Ricky again, “I promised Y/n I’d paint portraits and make lots of people happy. And I will. But before I got started on that, well, there was one portrait I had to paint first. It’s the portrait of the person I wanted to bring a smile to the most.”
“I believe madame must surely be watching you and smiling right now. Just like she is in your painting…”
Renjun looked at her image and smiled back, tears in his eyes. The last thing to do was give it a title.
“A promise to your smile.”
#nct series#nct dream#nct#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct x reader#nct dream fic#nct 127#wayv#nct fics#nct fic#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#wayv x reader#huang renjun#renjun#renjun x reader#renjun hard hours#renjun fics#renjun imagines#renjun fluff#nct renjun#renjun x y/n#nct dream edits#nct dream scenarios#nct dream fanfic#nct fanfic
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i just wanted to scream here for no reason... or have a meaningful conversation about existential dread
ah I can definitely provide a place for you to scream for no reason
for the meaningful conversation about existential dread you’ll have to go to my brother tho.
he’s the one who wrote a song called “god is dead, I am dead, and so are you”, not me lmao
#an unreleased song so i’m not exposing myself lmao#but yeah i’m not the person for such conversations#i’m of the mindset of ‘I just don’t think about it’ lol#ask#the hellsite answers#anonymous#hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit#hellsite hall of fame curators bullshit
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just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—
if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.
#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify#but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/#popular media.#I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction.#But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists#because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance#and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual.#Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic.#Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic.#(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.)#anyways.#the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum#is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation.#because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or#‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance.#I’m angry and I’m allowed to be.#I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something#But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together.#I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation#Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively#Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT.#But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon#OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all.#fhjy#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#riz gukgak#aromantic riz gukgak#fhsy
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I’m sorry but why am I always the one who has to make the plans when it comes to hanging out with friends? Not to sound like a bitch but I’m literally the only one who makes any effort to reach out and plan something with my friends and lately it’s been kinda draining and lonely. Why am I always the one who has to put in the effort? Why am I the one who has to suggest that we hang out? Like I’m always the one who texts first and asks to see them and it’s never the other way around, ever. If I don’t ask for us to hang out then we don’t hang out.
I know I’m nobody’s first choice, but is it too much to ask to be a choice at all?
#it doesn’t help that my long distance friend stopped talking to me altogether bc he got a girlfriend#and therefor doesn’t need me to talk to anymore#and when I tried to plan for my friends to come over for thanksgiving they just. didn’t really cooperate???#like they said ‘yeah you can come over’ and I said ‘well I kinda meant for you guys to come to my house’ and the conversation ended there#I love my friends but I’m sick of being the only one putting in any effort#I’m so lonely all the time I just want one person who actually enjoys my company and wants me around#maybe im just being dramatic#idk I just want. to feel loved..in any way#vent#lady luxo rambles
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Anyway I’m just so fucking done
#I’m probably just being stupid and not actually being talked over in the server#And these people probably don’t care anyway#And hhhh#im just being stupid again aren’t i#Bc its totally 100% normal to say something in one of the channels when nobody is talking#then immediately people come in with a whole other conversation and don’t even acknowledge what you saidLove getting talked over and ignore#Yea. Yeah. Yep. Totally normal. And definitely not feeling avoided anytime I try to talk to people#And funniest part is that it’s usually the same person who will say something after I do and start a different conversation. Nice.#Immediate response for them and I’m ignored. Being avoided like this does wonders for my mental health thanks.
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I haven’t cried in like three months because I’m just so good at managing my emotions and I started crying yesterday and I didn’t stop for like three hours
#that was sarcasm btw#i’m always so scared to use sarcasm because what if i didn’t do a good enough job at it and people will think i’m being serious#yeah so i’m doing great thank you for asking#i came to the conclusion that i’m just simply not enough to make people stay😊#amazing#had a great time#i haven’t had an actual conversion with anyone this week#it’s all just been hello how are you this class sucks#so that might have something to do with it#i need human interaction#i’m like if a plant was a person#that makes sense so me don’t question it#hey if you’re still reading this i love you
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In my experience the best way to find other apsec people in the wild is to first admit you are aspec. Obviously not a safe and open option for everyone but if you have the means and the confidence it’s fun to unlock more aspec friends from the wild unexpectedly
#aka I met another aspec person the other day because I was casually like#‘yeah I’m aroace so I feel like that influences my prespective on this topic a lot’#and the guy who I had literally just met was like ‘woah we’re the same’#and I was like ‘FOR REAL????’#and then we bonded over aspec experiences for a bit#I could also just have a lot of luck#my NM friend has many times been like ‘why do all the aspec people seem to live in OH you know so MANY’#and she knew only one (1) that wasn’t me ajskakskksks#🤷♀️#anyways I’m not meeting a ton of aspec people or anything#but being out and comfortable talking and bringing it up to strangers has definitely helped me find more#it’s good practice trying to talk about it casually in conversation#by yours truly the omelette of cheese#aromantic#asexual#aroace#also I realize this is probably a no brainer but it’s fun#when you realize the stranger you’re talking to actually shares a lot more in common with you#or when old high school or college acquaintances reach out to you as another aspec person
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