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russellsppttemplates · 2 months

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All the milestones (Lando Norris)

Fraser came earthside earlier than you expected

Note: english is not my first language. Believe it or not, I'm also a preemie (genetically and health wise, I am a catch, I know). Jokes aside as this is a serious topic, I was born at thirty three weeks because of some complications and it all turned out well, but I am aware of what it entailed from people telling me and it isn't something I've seen around here! Knowing that the diversity I write brings comfort to read and to ask this warms my heart up so much 🫶 I'm also basing this off of my mum's experience!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions c-section and themes related to hospital stays and procedures, prematurity, pre-eclampsia

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm really sorry I can't go with you, darling", Lando apoligised as he set the plate with lunch in front of you, "it's okay, it's just an ultrasound", you responded, "we're just going to check if everything is alright with you, right, little one?", you tapped your babybump softly. At thirty weeks pregnant, you were starting to feel the tiredness and aches like you had felt in your previous pregnancy, only now you had a toddler to look after as well, so you had been taking it easy. Fortunately, you were able to juggle work and family life in a way that allowed you to make the minimum compromise to both spheres of your life.

"Drink your water, baby", Lando reminded you, tapping the jug, "I'm going to pick up my dad from the airport and then we'll both get Tilly. Are you feeling like going out for dinner or should I get take out and we eat here?", he questioned, taking a bite of his food.

"I'd prefer to stay in", you stated, "are you feeling like anything special?", he asked back.

"Right now I can't think of anything", you offered, not really looking forward to eating the delicious food in front of you if you were really being honest. Still, you manage to eat the most of it.

"Have a good meeting, Lan, I love you", you said as you put your coat on, grabbing your bag with all your documents.

"Be safe, okay, baby?", he checked, kissing the top of your head and then kissing your baby bump, "and you too, buddy, keep yourself and mummy safe and sound, don't give her too much trouble", he said, helping you out of the door before you went on your separate ways, "I love you, gorgeous mummy!", he winked before he got inside his car.

Once you arrived at the hospital and checked yourself in, your midwife Amelia greeted you in the examination room, "how have you been feeling, Y/N?", she asked as she slipped the bad on your arm to get your blood pressure numbers, sending the urine sample to the lab.

"I've been feeling a little tired, especially compared to last time, which I can only put down to having Tilly, and she's a very calm child", you giggled, remaining quiet as the machine got your numbers.

"These look quite high, did you run up here?", she asked, "no, I got here earlier than I expected actually, I've been sitting on the waiting room for a bit", you scrunched your face.

"We'll just wait for your results and then we'll see if it's something we have to wordy about", she tranquilized, "let's see you baby boy, shall we?", she smiled as you lifted your shirt, letting her apply the cream and move the wand around.

"There's your son, Y/N", she smiled, "He's a bit quiet, but the heartbeat sounds good", she smiled, taking a few more pictures so you could bring them home for Lando and Matilda to see.

A knock on the door alerted you both as Amelia was taking your measurements, "I have the results for Y/N Y/L/N-Norris", your OB checked, seeing you in the room, "Hi, Y/N, I thought I'd only see you later", she said as she walked in. She pulled on a stool and sat on it, "your results are indicating that you might be in pre-eclampsia", she said as she showed the tablet's screen to Amelia, her stern expression confirming your suspicions on how serious the situation was, "your body is having trouble keeping up with everything, hence your high blood pressure and your urine results suggest your kidneys are working overtime as well", Dr. Martin said as you straightened up, hands coming to wrap around your baby bump protectively, "your baby is fine, so that's not a big worry, but we do think it would be best if we delivered him tonight", she advised.

"But he's too small", you argued.

"You're at thirty weeks, which isn't ideal, but the survival rate is very very high for babies born at this time, and we also have a team that is specialised in preemie care, so he will be in the best hands", she comforted, "we need to give you corticosteroids to make sure the baby's lungs are ready for when he comes earthside, we'll get you admitted and monitor you and the baby to make sure he's not struggling either. In a few days, depending on how this goes, we'll do a c-section. I know it's not ideal, but this is the best way to make sure you and baby boy stay safe".

Sighing, you nodded, "okay, whatever is best for both of us", you asserted, "I just need to call Lando - my father in-law is coming to stay for a bit and they're getting Matilda from school", you thought out loud.

"Absolutely, dear, everything is going to be just fine", Amelia conforted while Dr. Martin set you up to go to a room.

Lando helped Matilda up to her car seat, strapping her in as she spoke to his father, "and did you have a good day, princess?", Adam asked, "yes, we coloured lots and we saw a couple of butterflies when we were having our snack!", she smiled as Lando drove home.

The car system alerted them of a call from you, "hey, beautiful, I'm in the car with my father and Tilly - say hi to mummy, babygirl!", he encouraged, "Hi, mummy!", she cheered, "Hey Y/N", Adam greeted too.

"Hey, guys! Lando, can you give the phone to your dad, please?", you asked, "sure, love", he said as he disconnected the phone from the car, nodding his father to take the phone in the console.

"Hey, Y/N, is everything alright?", Adam asked over the phone, "Hey, Adam, I hope you travelled well! I'm not sure if Lando told you, but I had an appointment today, and it turns out I have to be admitted", you began, "I don't want to worry him, much less when he's driving, so as soon as you get home, can you tell him to call me back again, please? Baby Fraser might join us sooner than we expected", you mumbled, nerves obvious in your voice as Adam stayed with a neutral face.

"Absolutely, Y/N, I'll let him know", he said before hanging up.

"What was it? Is everything alright?", Lando asked, knowing there would be a reason as to why you didn't want to have everyone listening to the conversation.

Checking the rearview mirror to see Matilda playing with one of her books, Adam clarified Lando, "she is going to stay at the hospital for a little longer than she expected for some check ups, she didn't want Matilda to hear about it", he said. It wasn't too much of a lie, and he certainly didn't want to scare anyone and since Lando would be calling you anyway, it could wait for a bit, "she asked you to call her when you got home. Don't worry, I'll keep Matilda entertained", he smiled.

Once they arrived, Adam left his things in the guest bedroom and met Matilda in the kuchen, "grandpa will make you some snacks. What do you want, darling?", he asked as he urged Lando to go and make a call to you.

"Hi, baby", Lando said as you picked up, "dad said you wanted me to call you, is everything alright?", he asked as he stepped inside the bedroom, hanging his coat in the closet.

"Hi, my love", you sighed and sending Lando into alert, "when they did my check up, Amelia took my blood pressure and it was really high, and my urine sample didn't look great either. It turns out I'm in pre-eclampsia and they want to keep me for observation, and it's likely Fraser will join us in the next few days", you added, "I need you here -, and things for me", you let out.

"Are you okay? I'll start packing right away", he said as he put his phone on speaker, looking for pyjamas and toiletries.

"My blood pressure is high - so far there's no distress for the baby, and they want to keep him in for as long as they can", you explained, "I, I am fine staying here on my own, that's okay, but I really need you here for a bit", you asked, "of course, my love. I'm going to pack these up quick and I'll be there. I love you", he said before you said it back, putting his phone in his pocket and zipping the bag.

"Daddy, where are you going?", Matilda asked as she saw the bag, "princess, mummy is going to stay in the hospital for a bit so the doctors can make sure her and baby are okay, and daddy is going to take a few things for her", he announced, crouching down so he was at her level.

"Is mummy sick?", she pouted, "she's a little tired, so they're going to make sure she rests up as much as she can", he slipped out, "I'm going to be there for a little bit to giver her her pyjamas so she's comfy, and then I'll be right back, okay? Can you stay here with grandpa?", he asked.

"Okay, daddy", she said before walking away, "but wait!", she called from the hall.

"I'll get dinner started and tuck her in if it gets too late - she didn't want me to tell you until you were home", he apoligised, "I know, I know, thanks for being here, it was bloody good timing", Lando mused.

Matilda came back with one of her stuffed toys, a McLaren bear she loved, "this is for mummy, so she doesn't sleep alone", she smiled sweetly. Maybe her innocence was positive because it meant she was dealing with the situation quite well.

"I'll give it to mummy, baby girl, I bet she'll love it", he smiled, kissing her cheek and leaving to the garage so he could drive to the hospital.

When he arrived, Amelia walked up with him as she told you all there was to know, knocking on your room door before they stepped inside.

"Darling", he said, setting the bag down and sitting next to you on the bed, kissing your forehead protectively, "how are you?", he asked.

"Fine, although I don't think it has really sunk in", you mumbled, playing with his fingers, "how is Tilly?", you wondered.

"She gave you Mr. Brown", he said as he fished out the bear from the bag, "she said she wanted you to have it so you wouldn't be alone in here", he smiled.

After spending as much time as he could with you, he bid you goodbye and went home, finding his father washing up the dishes as Matilda got her pyjamas on for the night, "I have a tupperware for you in the fridge if you want something to eat".

"Thanks, I've got it from here though - c'mon, little miss, we're going to sleep!", Lando hoisted her up, holding her on his hip as they walked upstairs to the bedroom, "can I sleep in your bed, daddy?", Matilda spoke in a small voice, "I don't want you to be alone either", she admitted.

Smiling at her sweetness, he nodded, "of course you can, love. Mummy sent her goodnight wishes for you, and maybe we can visit her tomorrow, how does that sound?", he smiled, "yes, please, daddy!".

"I made these for you, mummy, so your room is nice and colourful!", Matilda smiled as Lando let you in for a cuddle, your little girl getting help from her grandfather at ripping the tape so she could display her drawings she brought you almost daily, only missing days where Landk hadn't been able to bring her to the hospital because of their schedules.

"That's beautiful, darling, thank you so much", you gushed before turning to Lando, "has she cried again?", you whispered. You had been in the hospital for five days now, and two nights ago Matilda started with what was a tantrum at first and then evolved to crying about the fact that you weren't home. Lando was able to talk it out with her, welcoming her and allowing her to talk about how she was feeling and how it was beyond the fact that her tights were itching her.

"No, yesterday she told me she couldn't wait for you to come home, and that you were taking longer than she liked", he snickered, "always little miss rushing when it comes to you", he kissed the side of your head. Even though she was a daddy's girl through and through, she never made you feel left out.

"Y/N", Dr. Martin called after she stepped inside the room, "Oh, Matilda, you're so grown up already! Time flies by", she said as she waved at your little girl while Adam pulled her to sit on his lap, whispering "That's mummy's doctor, she is going to check up on her so you have to keep quiet, okay?" into her ear.

"I was checking your results, and I think between tonight and tomorrow, we might have to deliver your baby boy", she stated, everyone in the room straightening up as Matilda tried to read the adults' faces.

"His lungs look really good in the ultrasound we did this morning - as you know those were our biggest concerns, so we'll come up to monitor you, okay?", she rubbed your shoulder comfortingly before excusing herself.

"Well, I think it's best if we get going, then", Adam said as he got up, coming up to kiss the top of your head and squeeze your hand in his.

"Mummy, I know you're going to do very well", she said, earning small giggles around the room, "when can I come and meet the baby?", she stepped up to give you a kiss.

"We will have to see how it all goes, princess, but when you can, you'll be the first to come, okay?", you smiled, brushing the curls out of her eyes and kissing her head.

"I'll drop these guys home, get the baby bag and then I'll be back", Lando said, kissing your lips and your baby bump, "you stay in there for just a little longer, okay buddy?".

By the time Lando got back to the hospital, you had already been given a few medications to prep you for the c-section, "Kelly and Max advised that I shopped for some smaller clothes, so I have those in there", he tapped the baby bag, "and how are you feeling?", he cupped your cheek.

"My blood pressure is really high, so they're thinking about putting me under, like, full body anesthesia", you bit your lip. Getting surgery was already a big thing, but being completely under was another.

"Oh, okay", Lando gulped, "they won't let me be in there then", he realised, "that's not how we wanted this to happen, but it's going to be okay, gorgeous. You're the strongest woman I know, you're going to be just fine", he smiled, "and our baby boy will come out screaming and he will be the strongest little one ever", he said, trying to convince you and himself of his words. He was scared too, but it wouldn't do you both any good to dwell on it too much.

Knocking on the door, one of the lovely interns and Amelia came to get you, "are we all ready? I'm afraid you already know this, Lando, but you won't, be able to be with us in the OR", she apoligised, "I'll wait right here, if that's okay", your husband suggested, kissing you one last time before they wheeled you off, "I love you, Y/N", he muttered against your lips.

While he waited, he looked at the drawings in the room with precise attention, finding one where Matilda drew the four of you, her brother in your arms and Lando holding her hand, names scribbled under each person in Adam's writing.

Less than an hour later, Amelia stepped into the room, Lando getting up from his spot on the chair immediately, "everything went well, they were weaning Y/N off of the anesthesia, she's going to the PACU until she wakes up and then back here", she smiled, "your little boy is in the neonatal unit, do you want to come and meet him?", she asked, Lando letting out a sigh of relief at her words, "I'll let you know when Y/N comes back to the room", she ensured, having been in the job long enough to know the dilemma of wanting to be in two places at the same time.

"Yes, let's go", he said as he straightened up his sweater, "can I hug you?", he allowed himself to feel emotional, Amelia's open arms offering him a little comfort, "they're both alright, Lando, you have such a beautiful family", she cooed.

Walking with him to the neonatal care unit, she helped him into one of the gowns as they greeted the other parents inside along with all of the staff, "this is your little boy", she said, offering him a sanitizer for his hands, "he can't eat on his own just yet, so that single tube on his nose is feeding him, the other one is giving him oxygen, and those stickers are to make sure his heart is doing okay - little milestones and little victories", she explained as Lando took him in.

Surely, he was much smaller than Matilda, but he could already spot some similarities, "Can I touch him?", he asked, weary of disturbing the perfectly architected environment inside the incubator, "yes, of course! Just be mindful of the wires and tubes", she encouraged, opening the little doors so Lando could touch your son.

"Hey, buddy", he spoke as he touched his tiny fingers, "you're already such a fighter, breathing so well without ventilation", he cooed. He looked up all the complications and when he didn't see a mechanical ventilator, he couldn't help but feel proud of the baby, "he is, we did all the tests and for now supplemental oxygen seems to be enough", Dr. Martin said softly, not wanting to spook them as she showed up, "everything went well with Y/N, she should make a full recovery once it heals", she rubbed his back.

"Thank you", he said, keeping the tears at bay as he looked back at Fraser, "you're so tiny they had to roll up your diaper, hm little love?", he spoke, "there are so many people who love you and they have so much of it to give you".

A little while later, Amelia told him they were taking you up to your room, so Lando said goodbye to Fraser, "I'm going to see mummy, Fraser, and I'm going to tell her how much of a higher you are, I love you", he cooed one last time, rubbing his arm before taking his hands away, closing the little doors and folding the gown for later.

Walking into the corridor to your room, Lando could spot you in the other end, smiling as you spotted him too, "nearly beat you in this race", you smiled at him as he gestured for them to wheel you into the room, "everything went as expected, Dr. Martin will be up shortly to speak to you two", one of the interns said.

"How are you feeling, gorgeous?", he said, brushing your hair away from your eyes and behind your ears, "I'm fine, the meds are helping with the pain, I'm sure", you giggled, "they gave me a good dose".

"That's nice, at least", he said, "I've texted everyone to let them know you were okay and everything went well", he added.

"Have you seen him yet?", you asked, "yes, I have", Lando beamed, "He's very tiny and he looks a little bit like Tilly already. And he's such a fighter, too! He only had those little pin-like tubes to help him breathe, they didn't need any incisions or anything. I would've taken a picture but I couldn't take my hands away from him", he admitted.

"Hopefully soon I can see him", you gulped, knowing it would off the books for a bit since you had abdominal surgery.

"All in due course, baby. I'm so happy you're both fine", he kissed your forehead.

"I just want to hold my baby!", you hiccuped, wiping the tears falling on your cheeks while Amelia conforted you, "just one more day, Y/N, maybe two at maximum to make sure you're healing well, too", she smiled apologetically.

A knock on the door alerted you as Lando and Matilda walked inside, making you wipe your cheeks quickly, "mummy!", she cheered softly, approaching you and climbing on the bed softly since she knew you were healing, "have you been crying, mummy?", she said, hugging your arm and resting her head there.

"Mummy is upset because I can't go and see Fraser today", you explained as Lando kissed the top of your head.

Amelia excused herself as you caught up with everything back home, "grandpa asked me to give you kisses", Matilda recalled as she kissed your cheeks, "his plane has landed alresdy", Lando added, "That's nice of him, thank you darling".

"We can go and meet Fraser, Tilly", Lando said as the window they allowed visitors in was coming to the half-time mark, "I'm going to give him loads of kisses from you mummy, don't worry about it!", your daughter said sweetly as she climbed off the bed, "I'm going to try and FaceTime, okay?", Lando confirmed, handing you your phone before they left for the neonatal unit.

"Matilda, darling, you have to put this on, okay?", one of the nurses gave her a mask, "she's in nursery and she might have caught some bug that isn't showing symptoms yet and it could be harmful for the babies", he checked with Lando as your husband nodded.

"It's like a costume, Tilly!", Lando tried to make it fun for her, adjusting the gown and then the mask around her face, "you can't go around touching things, okay princess?", he stated as she nodded, ready to meet her little brother.

Lando got himself gowned and led them to Fraser's incubator, "that is Fraser, baby", he cooed, typing on his phone inside the clear bag and FaceTiming you like he promised so you too could see the moment they met for the first time.

"He's so tiny", she gasped, standing on the stepping stool so she could see him properly, "I can't kiss him, can I?", she asked and Lando shook his head, watching you smile on the screen, "I'm going to blow him the kisses I have from mummy then", she said, her hand making the movements from her covered mouth to her brother, "I love you, Fraser, and mummy loves you too, she can't be getting because her tummy still hurts a little", she told him.

"This just makes you want to have another right away, doesn't it?", Lando croaked out as he wiped a tear from his eye, your wide eyes looking at him, "not anywhere in the near future - my body knows that much!", you giggled at the soft sight, "but it is incredibly cute, yes", you smiled as tears fell on your cheeks too.

"Look, mummy! He moved his hand, he's saying hello to you", Matilda smiled, "He's saying he wants to see you, too!".

You were finally able to stand up and sit in a wheelchair, so your other goal for the day was going to see your son.

Amelia was the first to say she would take you, helping you sit and getting you there, "That's your little boy right there", she pointed as you were filled with giddiness and excitement.

Wheeling you to face plastic bassinet, your hand went straight inside, "he doesn't need oxygen anymore?", you asked his doctor, noticing the single tube you recognised as a feeding tube, "no, not anymore", he said, "we ran some tests this morning and he's doing just fine on his own, strong set of lungs he has! He woke two of the other babies up yesterday", he smiled.

Chuckling, you touched his arm softly, his hands opening and closing, "do you want to hold him?", he asked, catching you by surprise. Until now, no one ever held him as to make sure the treatments being done were working as best as they could.

"Can I?", you asked, eyes hopeful, "me and the rest of the team think he's finally strong enough to move out of here actually", he added, "not enough to go home just yet, but he can be in your room. This way you can have him close to you and of anything happens or you need help, the staff in your floor know what to do. He just needs to be able to feed without a pump, so either breastfeeding or bottle feeding", he stated.

"Wow, okay, I wasn't expecting this, I was so happy that I got to see him", you teared up, bringing your arms to position so the doctor could place your baby in your arms, mindful of the feeding tube that was still in him, "hey, my love", you cooed, touching his cheeks, "I'm your mummy. I know you were rushed out of my tummy, and it was scary for both of us, but it's looking up now", you cried, Amelia wiping your cheeks as she smiled too.

"Do you mind if we take his tube out now? Might be a little better for this little guy to be in his mummy's chest", the doctor suggested, getting the supplies he needed and setting them in the tray.

"It's okay, little guy", he said as he pulled it out, baby Fraser crying at the discomfort you could only imagine as you rubbed his back, "it's okay, my love, mummy's here to make it better", you shushed him, kissing his head multiple times.

"There, all done!", the doctor said, "if you want, you can feed him here or in your room, where you feel best", he wondered, "could we go to the room, please? I have my supplies there, too", you asked.

You had been pumping milk out since it came in, and you were finally able to feed him straight from your nipple, "okay, little one, you can't get lazy on us now that mummy has you in her room", Amelia encouraged, tapping his cheek slightly as he began suckling on your nipple, "there we go!", she cheered, "I told you it would get better, didn't I?", she winked at you.

When Lando and Matilda came for their daily visit, they didn't expect to see you walking around the room, your back facing the door, "you're up, mummy, that's good!", your daughter said as you turned around, showing her brother on your chest, "oh", she gasped.

"He passed all his tests, and he's getting chubby too", you cooed, squishing his thigh softly as Lando took the sight in, Matilda holding onto you as you patted her head and held your son. Your family was complete.

"That's daddy, Fraser", you cooed, pointing at Lando as your baby boy looked around to the two new people in the room.

"Can I have a cuddle?", Lando whispered before you transferred Fraser to his arms, your little boy curling up against him just like he had been curled up to you.

"Does this mean you get to go home?", Matilda asked, hugging you properly as you sat down on the bed with her, "not for a few days still, they just need to make sure Fraser is alright", you informed, "then we can go home and the four of us are going to have loads of fun", you smiled.

"Tilly, can you help me here, please?", Lando called as her footsteps approached your bedroom, "can you get me that bedding from the drawer, please?", Lando asked as he held the mattres up, not wanting to miss the exact placement of the sheet, "thank you, baby, you're such a clever girl", he complimented, folding the corner in and letting the mattress fall back into place.

"When mummy comes home tonight, is Fraser coming with her?", she wondered, touching the next to me bassinet you kept in your room for the baby to sleep in the first few months, "yes, he is, he's finally good and big enough to come home, no more hospital visits", Lando sighed. The last couple of weeks were hard. Juggling things on his own made him even more appreciative of you and the efforts you made to make sure everything was smoothly running in the house, as well of your friends and family who suported your family in every way they could.

"That's going to be nice, the hospital smells funny", she scrunched up her nose, "and it's going to be like before but with baby Fraser?", she wondered.

"At first mummy will need our help in many things - she still has some recovery to do, but then it will be back to normal, yes", Lando offered, "and we'll have Fraser to go with us in our adventures".

"I can't wait to show him my soft blankets and my toys", she beamed, helping Lando with the bed and then getting ready to pick you up from the hospital.

"Thank you again for all of your work and dedication, we truly can't say it enough for all you've done for our family", Lando said to the team as they discharged you from the hospital, waving at Fraser in his carrier as he looked around.

By the time the four of you were back home, you ate dinner on the sofa, Matilda cuddled up to your side while Fraser slept in your chest, Lando holding the four of you in his embrace as much a she could, "we're finally all together", you smiled, "the Norris family is all together in one place we it should be", he said, kissing your lips softly, hand coming to rest on top of yours in Fraser's back as Matilda smiled up at you, "this is the best day ever", she murmured.

Post partum blurb

#lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #dad!lando x reader #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader

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blitzyn · 6 months

Text

rookie mistake

dottore x m!reader

Request: Requests are open right? I hope so 🤞 Would I be able to ask for a sub!(male/amab)reader X dom!dottore? With some blackmail and coercion, preferably leaning towards dubious consent but I’m am a-ok with non-con elements, with a fatui/subordinate reader? If you could add in a small scene of him continuing while talking with someone outside the door that’s be awesome 😎 - Anonymous

Synopsis: You accidentally invade Dottore's office in search of intel.

a/n -> yall i know that i said i was on the fence about writing for genshin, but it was dottore and i love him plus i really liked this idea despite it having collected dust in my inbox for decades. whoever requested this: i love your mind and im so sorry it took me forever to decide to write this!! but just a reminder to whoever sees this, i will not be writing for fontaine unless stated otherwise!!

wc -> 3.6k

cw -> non-con, blackmail, coercion, blowjob, deepthroat, literally getting caught, spit as lube, anal fingering, anal sex, standing doggy position, fatuus/infiltrator reader, guys he calls you a rat because you're a spy, not beta read

Your job was straightforward. But it was also one of the most grueling missions you've ever been assigned to.

With your status as an elite spy, you were tasked with infiltrating the Fatui as one of their ranks to gather information regarding the locations and purposes of specific forts to prevent potential attacks and keep the organization from acquiring knowledge valuable to their cause.

There was absolutely no room for error, lest you get caught and pay for that mistake with your life.

Fortunately enough, the mask everyone was required to wear (with the exception of the Harbingers) concealed your identity, allowing you to execute your orders with relative ease. Of course, it wasn't completely simple. You had to fight your way up the ranks in order to even get a hint of the plan from your superiors, which took years to even get recognized for your efforts.

Several times have you had to go against your moral compass. Several times, you doubted your abilities and questioned if you were even making a dent in the Fatui's plans. Although, when you heard a faint argument due to a lack of resources, you knew you were on the right track.

But one day, you noticed that an agent's office door was left unlocked. There was no one in the hallways, and not a soul knew that you had stolen an important document that recorded data for some valuable supply that you didn't care enough to read about.

Making sure you tucked the paper deep inside your coat pocket, you strained your ears to ensure you were alone before taking the risk and entering the isolated office. It looked like your standard room. Boring, silent, and strangely barren of many decorations. You took a moment to inspect the area before deciding to take a step forward when your blood suddenly ran cold.

"I don't use this office very often," a voice said from behind you. You just about jumped out of your skin, swiveling your head to the person behind you. It took you a moment to put a face to the name you'd heard so many times before, but when you did, you quickly regretted your decision to search for any additional information. "But even so, don't you think it's rude to invade someone's personal space?"

You froze, unable to find the right words. Nothing could explain why you were currently snooping around in an office that wasn't yours—much, much less when it belonged to the Second of the Eleven Harbingers.

You inwardly cursed your naive eagerness to do more than you were asked. Your years of experience as a spy should've kept you from making such a rookie mistake, and now all your work was going down the drain.

The two of you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, fighting the urge to fidget at the overwhelming feeling of his gaze on you, analyzing your appearance. He broke the silence with a hum, neither intrigued nor entirely disappointed.

"I have heard others spread rumors of a mole within our ranks but thought nothing more of their words as an excuse for their inability to secure our resources," Dottore mused, raising a hand to his chin. "I assume that the mole is you?"

You couldn't bring yourself to reply. Your throat was dry, and your stomach twisted into knots. Not that he cared.

"I must applaud your efforts," he said, a slight smirk decorating his pale face. "Not many people evade our eyes so easily, and for as long as you have."

"But, a word of advice—" He reached into his pocket, pulling out a familiar device. He presented it to you, watching in amusement when you suddenly patted yourself down before looking back up towards him. It was the device you used to contact your organization. "—Make sure you clean up after yourself. It's impolite to leave your items lying around."

You don't remember dropping it or forgetting it somewhere. But that didn't matter anymore. You were stuck in the present with no way of getting out of this situation.

He flipped the device over, dully inspecting it as he continued talking. "After going through your data log, it wasn't hard figuring out what you were going for next. While this normally wouldn't spark any interest in me, this resource just so happens to be vital in my current experiment, and I can't have you tampering with my results."

He walked forward, stopping just a few feet in front of you. He was close enough for you to inhale his scent of sterile rubbing alcohol and metal. It made your nose burn as you watched him intently, tensing and fighting the urge to back away out of fear of angering him somehow. The document in your pocket felt unusually heavy.

"Although, I didn't expect such a seasoned spy like yourself to make such an amateur move," he hummed, ignoring your need for personal space to pull your mask off. And you were helpless against it all. "[Name] [L.Name], is it? Why don't you read the paper you have right now?"

That's when you knew you fucked up big time.

With a shaky hand, you reached into your coat pocket to pull out the report, unfolding it only to realize that it wasn't a report at all. It was a blank piece of paper. But you could've sworn there was writing on it when you grabbed it earlier!

He could see the confusion on your face clear as day as a laugh left his lips, tapping a rolled-up piece of parchment on the tip of your nose to regain your attention. "I believe this is what you're after." With a flick of his wrist, he unfurled the paper that contained everything you needed.

"What—" you gasped, briefly staring at your paper before looking back up.

"It's a shame you didn't think to check the ink before you took it," he said, faux disappointment laced in his voice before it reverted back to its normal tone just as fast. "The ink 'disappears' when subjected to anything higher than room temperature. When you put it in your pocket, your body heat, coupled with the insulation from your coat, affected the writing and turned it invisible."

Fuck.

He planned this out.

You swallowed nervously, taking a deep inhale to steel your nerves, even when it didn't do much to help you. "How... how long have you known?" you couldn't help but ask.

"Not long, really," Dottore casually replied, as if he didn't hold your entire life in the palm of his hand. "I caught you just in time."

"Now," he said with a voice that demanded your attention. Not that he needed to try, anyway. His very presence was almost impossible to ignore. "I'm willing to offer you two options. One, I hand this device over to one of my lovely agents and have them torture you for answers then promptly dispose of you. Or, two—" He waved the communicator in the air, taunting you. "—I have you make it up to me."

It was obvious which one you'd be more tempted to accept, but you knew that accepting an offer such as this from Dottore, of all people, was not a good idea. He knows he has you right where he wants you.

"The second one. I... I'll make it up to you." The words tasted like acid as you forced them out, watching a pleased smirk rise on his face.

"Good," he muttered mostly to himself. Leisurely, he turned around and walked towards the door, shutting it before refocusing back on you.

"Get on your knees," he ordered, placing his hands behind his back as he waited for you to move. He observed silently as you obeyed, staring at the floor in shame. "Crawl to me."

He sighed impatiently upon seeing the conflicted and perplexed expression on your face. "You want to be a rat so badly, don't you? So get down and crawl to me like one."

You were given no choice but to comply despite the absurdity of his request. Hanging your head, you inched forward as the cold, wooden floors painfully dug into your knees, stopping once the sight of his boots came into view. You held back a flinch when you heard the fabric of his clothes rustle as he leaned down to lift your head up by your hair, forcing you to your knees.

Instantly, your eyes zeroed in on the prominent bulge in Dottore's pants, making you painfully aware of what he wanted you to do next. With a suspiciously gentle tug, he brought you slightly closer to him. You could tell he was getting impatient.

"Well?" He questioned, a frown gracing his features. "You don't need instructions. Go on."

You glanced up at him with blatant disgust in your eyes before raising your hands to undo his pants and reveal his semi-hard cock. You suppressed a grimace as you held it in your hand, steeling your nerves just enough to be able to lick a stripe down the side. Flattening your tongue, you moved back up to take the tip in your mouth, letting your saliva slip past the corners of your lips to lubricate the rest of his dick.

You half-assed it all, not bothering to take it all the way down or, at the very least, use your tongue. However, Dottore caught on quick enough with an annoyed sigh. You supposed you shouldn't have been surprised when he tangled his fingers into your hair and shoved you down, but you were caught off guard either way.

You were embarrassed to hear a loud gag sound from you, choking and sputtering on his cock whenever the tip of it slid down your throat. You dug your nails into his thighs when he suddenly shifted and pressed the sole of his boot onto your dick, letting out a muffled cry that only served to please him. He made no move to rub it against you, simply keeping it firmly on your crotch—to keep you in line, you assumed.

You squirmed, internally cringing at the feeling of your drool seeping out the corners of your lips. Fluttering your eyes shut, you tried to focus on your breathing. In and out, in and out, in and—

"Don't look away," he said, refusing to give you a moment of respite, shoving his cock all the way inside your mouth, harshly tugging on your hair at the same time. He fucked your face, ignoring your sounds of protest as he battered your throat. He laughed at your struggle, entertained with the way your tears gathered at your lash line.

"Awh, is this too much for you?" He taunted, shifting his hand to the back of your head to push you down to the base. He sighed contentedly at the feeling of your throat tightening and spasming around him, gently rocking his hips. "You should've thought that through before you accepted the job."

With a painful tug, he pulled you off of his cock. A trail of saliva connected you to him, which you quickly broke when you turned your head to cough into your elbow. He ordered you to get up, unwilling to wait a second before he hauled you up by your arm impatiently. He effortlessly moved your body, pressing your cheek against the wooden door as he pushed on your back, forcing it to arch.

Deeming your position acceptable, he tucked his fingers underneath the waistband of your pants to yank them down to your knees. Your breath hitched at the sudden change in temperature, refusing to lean back and seek any warmth from Dottore.

With one hand on your hip, the other strayed toward your ass, spreading it to inspect your hole. It took effort to keep yourself from fidgeting under his gaze, and you opened your mouth in a daring attempt to get him to hurry up when he suddenly spat on your hole, shoving two fingers inside soon after.

You let out a grunt, clawing at the door he had you lean against. It was an uncomfortably foreign sensation but you were in no position to struggle. A burning sensation emanated from your hole as his fingers forced their way inside, wasting no time to move in a scissoring motion. They brushed against a spot that sent sparks up your spine every so often, taunting you wordlessly.

"You're enjoying this," Dottore said, not as a question or comment, but as a statement. And the worst thing was, he was right. No matter how much your mind made you hate it, your body told a different tale.

You let out a displeased sigh, pressing your forehead against the cold door, not daring to make your words known. Not that he minded. He enjoyed forcing your reactions out of you just as much as having them given to him without a fight.

He made it known with a jab to your prostate, sending a shock up and down your spine so suddenly it nearly made your knees buckle. That was all he gave you before abruptly pulling away, leaving you uncomfortably empty until the quiet ptuh! sound of him spitting on his cock filled your ears.

Fuck. This was actually happening. And you had no way out.

In a last ditch effort to maintain your dignity, you tried to push yourself off of the door but was quickly pressed—borderline slammed—back down with a hand to the back of your neck.

"I don't think you'll enjoy the alternative," he said, the undertones of irritation and impatience evident in his voice. He squeezed the sides of your neck hard enough to ensure your compliance, nearly scowling when you shifted in place. "So be still and behave like a good little thing."

Without missing a beat, he lined the tip of his cock up against your slick asshole and pushed his way inside, forcing a strained cry from your throat. He made sure it hurt, purposefully moving slowly to make you feel every inch and vein.

You whimpered, trying to breathe and calm yourself down. The stretch fucking hurt and you instinctively shifted your hips forward in a futile attempt to ease the pain when Dottore held your hips to yank you back, shoving the last few inches inside you.

You let out a strangled groan, biting your lower lip to stifle your noises as searing pain tore through you. You breathed heavily through your nose, feeling the weight of disgust settle in your chest when you heard him sigh in satisfaction at how tight you were. You winced when he pulled out slowly, only for him to slam back inside with a loud slap.

You jolted, just about ramming your head against the door in surprise. You grit your teeth and pressed a hand against it as the wood audibly creaked and groaned under your weight when he began to move. You tensed upon hearing faint voices beyond the door, peering back over your shoulder in a pathetic attempt to get him to stop.

"W—Wait," you muttered, breath hitching. "There's someone outside...!"

"Then I suppose you're just going to have to be quiet," he replied with an upward quirk to his lips before angling himself in a way that made his cock press up against you just right. You were disgusted to feel heat beginning to pool in your gut, forcing moans past your lips no matter how hard you tried to stop them. You covered your mouth with a hand as you listened to the noises approach. Dottore was (somewhat) merciful enough to press his pelvis against your ass, though that didn't stop him from rocking his hips to cruelly grind his cock into your prostate.

"Dottore?" It took you a moment to process the voice as electricity shot up and down your spine, trying your damn best to stifle your whimpers. "Are you in there?"

It's Pantalone, you recognize.

"Yes. Is there something you need from me?" Dottore replied, shifting his hold on you to start shallowly thrusting. You squeezed your eyes shut, listening to the painfully loud squelching.

"Not at the moment. I thought I heard something... else," Pantalone hummed with a knowing tone, sending a wave of mortification through your body.

"Then if that is all, I'd prefer it if you left," Dottore said, his amusement clear as day in his voice. He didn't even try to hide it as he gave you a punishing thrust, the resounding slap mixing in with your moan as it echoed off the walls. "I'm busy."

A laugh came from behind the door. "Very well. I'll leave you to it."

Dottore refused to wait for him to leave when he started again, this time fucking you so hard you were convinced there'd be a bruise. His fingers dug into your skin, yanking you back in time with his thrusts.

Your legs shook and you bit your lip until you bled, but it hardly did a thing to silence you.

"Look at you," Dottore mused, reaching around to hold your aching cock in his hand. He gave it a squeeze before jerking off the top half, focusing on the tip. "You were never meant to be a spy. You'd be so much better off as my little pet, wouldn't you agree?"

You let out a loud moan, instinctively looking down. You didn't even realize you were so hard, but as you watched the head of your cock drool precum onto the ground, everything felt twice as intense.

"N—No!" You choked out, clawing desperately at the creaking door. "I'll never—I'll never be your pet!"

"No?" Dottore laughed, sounding so unbothered it sent a spike of fear through you, reminding you of just how fucked you were. Swiftly, he swiped his fingers over the tip of your cock before bringing his hand up to push them into your mouth, making you taste your precum. With the palm of his hand, he pressed it against your chin to force your head back.

You let out a groan, feeling the strain on your upper back and neck as you stared at him with fear and disgust.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," he reminded, pulling out the communicator with his other hand. He slightly shook it, taunting you. "Don't you remember that actions have consequences?"

He pocketed the device as he slid his hand away from your mouth to bring it to the back of your neck, holding it tightly as he harshly pressed you against the cold wood. The side of your face ached, but, much to your horror, the pain only went straight to your cock.

"So just stand there and enjoy it," he said with a groan, his dick pulsing rhythmically as he savored the sensation of your walls clamping tightly around him. "Don't fight how much you like this."

"I don-" Just then, he rammed his cock into your prostate over and over, reducing you into a babbling mess that only proved his point.

Your eyes burned with unshed tears, ashamed that you loved the feeling of him so deep inside you, but you hated that it was him fucking you. You could feel the heat in your stomach intensify with each harsh thrust, feel the way your balls tightened in a way you knew you couldn't stop.

"Please..." you whimpered, weak against the wet slapping sounds that filled the office. "I don't want to...!"

You came with a whorish moan, arching your back as your cock spilled cum onto the floor. You could hear the sound of Dottore's laugh through the haze of your orgasm as sparks coursed through your veins, knees nearly buckling.

"Yes you do," he groaned, voice slightly strained. You could faintly hear his labored breathing the closer he got to his own orgasm, noticing the way his movements grew sloppier and weaker. He reached around again, jerking you off despite the lurking overstimulation.

You tightened, sending him right over the edge as he slammed his cock inside you a final time, pressing himself flush against your ass as he came. It was uncomfortably warm as he throbbed in time with each spurt, savoring the way you practically tried to milk him dry.

But he didn't let it last long as he pulled out with a satisfied sigh, enjoying the sight of you, shaky and vulnerable, before him. He graciously gave you a moment before commanding you to fix yourself, stepping back to adjust his own appearance.

"Now," he said, sternly, like he didn't just fuck you within a damn inch of your life. "Why don't you send a message to your organization stating that you're not going back."

He handed you the communicator with a smug smirk, relishing in your distress. Taking in a deep breath to steel your nerves, you accepted the device, reluctantly typing in a message before returning it back to him with regret written on your face.

"Oh, don't look so upset," he pouted, pocketing the device. You weren't sure when you'd see it again. "It'll be easier for you if you cooperate."

He made his way past you, opening the door, sending shivers down your spine at the sudden chill. "But right now, you have a lot of work to do."

cross-posted on ao3

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icanseethefuture333 · 5 months

Text

Celestial alignment: Pick a pattern in the sky

Messages to realign you with your soul path

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Replay by Lady Gaga

JMK by Sango ft. Xavier Omar

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Ten of Wands, Eight of Cups, The Magician, The World, & Three of Cups

There is a call for you to let go of thoughts that are holding you back. There is something about repetition here that is preventing you from progressing into the next chapter of your life. You could be taking on the burdens of other people as a way to help them. Your guides are urging you to please stop. You are constantly making sacrifices for others when they aren't doing this for you. Your lesson right now is to focus on making yourself the top priority. You are always putting yourself on the back burner. Some people here take care of their family members or work in the medical field. It's understandable to be worried and to care for your loved ones or other people, but who's be concerned about you? Who is making sure that you are alright or have what you need? If nobody is there for you, then you have to be there for yourself. Start making goals or a list of things you wish to accomplish. You need to realize you are worthy and deserving of what you desire, start dreaming again, pile 1. The universe is waiting and ready for your call and demand. Once you have faith in yourself, the universe will be ready to make your dreams come true. A journey of peace, abundance, and celebrations will be coming your way soon.

Summary:

Change your thoughts & way of thinking.

Practice mindfulness & work on releasing limiting beliefs.

Learn how to include self care in your daily routine

Set boundaries

Think about what your goals or dream are

Make a list or a vision board

Research information on manifestation or spirituality that aligns with your beliefs

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

Bruises by Kelela

Brain by Mariah the Scientist

Omega by SAAY

Seven of Wands, King of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, The Aeon (Judgement), & Nine of Pentacles

This pile gave me goosebumps when shuffling - You have a very intense aura and strong presence, pile 2! Something about having to "fight" or the "brain" being significant. I'm reminded of this wounded emoji: 🤕. You could suffer from past trauma or have a mental disorder. I had to rewrite for this pile because it didn't save and I felt so frustrated having to write for this pile again, but it made me realize that this is possibly how you feel in life. You are constantly having to work with difficult circumstances without seeing any progress of the outcome. There were a lot of struggles that you had overcome and I am reminded of movie The Truman Show. His entire life was just programmed for him and he was forced to live a life he didn't want for the entertainment of others just so they could have a TV Show to watch. So I feel like people found joy in your misfortune and suffering, which I am terribly sorry for. The thing is though that was in the past and you don't have to deal with these people anymore. You don't have to pretend to be this character that obviously doesn't resonate with you. You can create an entirely new life, new self concept, new everything for yourself. Think of who you want to be as an individual, not what other people have labeled you as or want you to be. You have to start realizing that you are free to do as you please. Life can be like a simulation and we could all be considered avatars, but we don't realize is that we are able to customize our reality in anyway we wish. You have the inner strength and passion but you are just stuck in this survival mode that is not serving you anymore. It is time for you to move on and your spirit guides are being stern with me right now but they're saying "take this shit seriously". If you have a dream or goal you know you wanna do, take action and stop complaining. Stop with the excuses, the self pity, and the martyr complex. Once you start asking the universe for help is when you can start to achieve your dreams. "It's like clockwork". I am seeing that you feel that you're running out of time in life to accomplish your goals but I am reminded of Maddy from Euphoria when she said "Don't worry, this is only just the beginning". Your "shift" or soul purpose has only just begun and time is ticking for real now. I am getting a vision of someone holding a bright lantern in a dark cave and they are like making a come hither motion with their hands. So I believe this is the universe and your guides saying if you need guidance and you are unsure what to do or where to go or how to even begin the project you wish to work on - Ask them. Once you start asking the universe for help shit is going to change in your life dramatically because your purpose is very significant and it is going to be for the better of society but you have to stop being in your ego and acting stubborn because it is not helping you or anyone else for that matter. I'm not saying you have to be some sort of holy messiah or the rebirth of Jesus Christ himself, but you are going to be someone who will make a difference in this world. As you embark on this journey, it is crucial that you pay attention to the signs the universe or spirit gives you. It is okay if you make mistakes but you have to be careful and aware of people or vices that will sabotage you in the end. So listen to your intuition and notice those gut feelings. I feel like people will be giving you your flowers in the future, that could mean you will be someone who has a certain level of status, or this means people will show appreciation or gratitude for your benevolence and charity. You have this gift or tool that the universe has blessed you with and you have to utilize it for the good will of others.

This is a powerful message I channeled from spirit: "Others who have begun early are merely the matches that were chosen out of indulgence, for candles & waxes, the faster they burn, the quicker their ashes will fall. The last one to be picked, is the match that is the resource for those in need of hope and warmth when faced with the darkness."

Summary:

Use your intuition

Release the version of yourself that is no longer serving you

Embrace change & endings

The end of a chapter means a new beginning

Rely on your inner strength & wisdom

Ask for guidance

Focus on what it is meant for you

"All that glitters isn't gold"

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Lemon by N.E.R.D ft. Rihanna

Starface* by Jean Dawson

Screen Time by Epik High ft. HOSHI

The Tower, Four of Pentacles (reversed), Three of Wands, The Sun, & Four of Wands

The pile's energy instantly chirped me up and made so happy! Its interesting how the piles are always so unique in their own way. You could have been or are currently in denial with your circumstances. It reminds me of Hey Ya! by Outkast. Go take a look at that music video or listen to the song if you're unfamiliar with it. It's a fun happy song, but the meaning of the lyrics are actually quite depressing. You could have this mindset of: "Y'all don't wanna hear me you just wanna dance!". You could be someone who is pessimistic and a downer, always wanting to look at things from a more "realistic" perspective. Although, your spirit guides are asking you to actually change this way of thinking. I actually see that you have a really bright and energizing aura! You could be really funny, pile 3! Your purpose could align with having a good sense of humor or being a source of hope and optimism for others. You could be interested in working in the entertainment field. Once you get past this, you will realize how much fun life can actually be! Your past challenges could also be viewed from a more positive standpoint. For example, the situation might have been unfortunate, but did you learn anything valuable? Or was there any positive outcomes because of that said situation. Reflect on your life experiences and lessons to see where the universe actually might have helped you dodge a bullet or blessed you with protection or love. You could also attract new people into your life who will make you feel a sense of joy and gratitude. This pile just reminds me of a fun summer day, where people eat watermelon or have fun at the pool. Another song I'm channeling is Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff & Will Smith. You will be celebrating and having a good time with your loved ones in the future soon. I believe honestly your path for now is to focus on happiness and sharing love and light with others!

Summary:

Have fun!

Make jokes that uplift people's energy

Focus on the good vs dwelling in negativity

Try to make someone laugh or smile!

Make plans for the summer

Hang out with your friends or spend time with family

Your past struggles are why you're still here. You overcame a great deal and should be proud of yourself!

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #spirituality #tarot #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarot reading #oracle #oracle cards

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joshleyson · 4 months

Text

THIS IS: SIARGAO ✨

December film dump 🎞️

Growing up in Mindanao for almost 2 decades and never actually being able to traverse the picturesque landscapes in the eastern part of the island is something that I know I have to break before the year ends. So I did.

I flew from Manila to Cebu so early in the morning to catch a connecting flight to Siargao by noon. Traveling to Siargao was a lot of firsts for me. Not having to go to every detail but when the plane was about to take off to Siargao, we were all offloaded due to the bad weather on the island. Fortunately, instead of having to fly back to Manila, the airline was kind enough to take me to a nearby hotel in Cebu, all expenses paid including food, transportation, and next-day ticket. It was an unexpected staycation which surprisingly I enjoyed.

Coming from a very tiring day at work and then going to the airport, I felt like I really needed this quiet time, and I was able to check in to this lavish hotel all by myself while waiting for my flight the next day. Also, I had a great night as well in Cebu catching up with one of my long-time friends and her beaux. I went back to my hotel around 3 in the morning because there’s just so many things to catch up and I really missed my homie so much. Keyword: low-maintenance friendships.

So the day finally came, and I was able to land safely on the island of Siargao. Right off the bat on my first night, I had a lovely dinner with my travel friends slash buddies at work and we went to a bar, and danced the night away which to me serves as a prelude to the great experience this vibrant community had in stored for me as a Mindanaoan that have never set foot beyond the confines of Zamboanga and western Mindanao.

We spent our days being on the road which to me was such a release. Being able to smell the fresh ocean breeze while blasting our favorite Y2K songs in the car and relying on Waze or Google Maps for our next destination, to me, makes the trip so much fun because of the spontaneity and unpredictability that it brings. We went island hopping, danced in the boat, swam on open waters, ate our hearts out, moved from one accommodation to another, and I tried surfing for the first time! I never thought I would enjoy the experience because it was raining lightly at that time and the waves were so big it could easily engulf me, but man, best day ever!!!! I fell on the surfing board and slammed my body on the rushing waves several times but being able to stand on the surfboard for the first time was such a liberating experience. A little bit of a stretch, but it was and I will try it again once I go back to Siargao.

☾

I flew back to Cebu and then to Manila to catch one of my friend’s wedding and luckily I made it with no delay. Looking at the pictures that I got to develop from a Fuji film camera that I brought with me on the island, I am reminded again of the incredible healing power of what it’s like to try new things, be with nature, and just breathe. Knowing that the year is about to end in a couple of weeks, I felt so blessed to have that opportunity to break the complicated rhythm of corporate life and to disconnect for a moment.

After 3 weeks, I get to fly back to Boracay to celebrate New Year’s Eve. So many epic moments that I am also grateful for which I may save for the future but nevertheless, my last month of 2023 was such a banger and I hope it always feels that way.

By the way, I’m writing all these on my iPhone because I’m too tired to get up and open my MacBook, so I appreciate you for hanging with me this far. So that’s it for 2023!

Simply put, I just want to say Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones, and may 2024 be as effervescent as your hopes and dreams for the future.

(December, 2023)

(Photos were shot using Fujifilm Simpleace 35 mm camera + iPhone 15 Pro Max)

FOLLOW ME: Instagram/TikTok/Twitter: joshleyson

(Music by Grammy nominee, Victoria Monét. All rights belong to her and her publishers. For personal and non-commercial use only. Stream her great catalogue on Spotify and Apple Music.)

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morganas-pendragons · 2 months

Text

the night will be over soon | the master chief

I have used this title before. Don't judge me. And I also remember approximately none of Halo Four, so forgive me if some of the nods to that in this are not accurate LOL

Anyway, this is for @empresskadia -- the whole plot is entirely her idea. I just saw it and went ''oh I could kill writing this'' so here I am! hurt/comfort incoming! I just changed a tiny bit of this to match the overall idea I was going for here.

@embarrassedauthornerd @lialacleaf

***

Things are out of focus. Blurry. Hard to remember. The only things that John can recall are the hue of Cortana outside the pod, the cold, and the darkness.

And your screaming. It was the last thing he recalled when The Arbiter pulled you towards him - a silent request from The Master Chief to keep you safe that he somehow understood - as The Forward Unto Dawn split in two.

It's been four years. John is very accustomed to it now. The dark, the cold, the dreams. At least the dreams are pleasant.

Your reality, however? Not so much.

They start you off with the augmentations. You can barely believe you've made it here, conscripted to be a Spartan Four.

You hadn't even met the majority of Blue Team until they'd intercepted you on The Infinity not long after you had been brought aboard. Kelly knew who you were almost immediately upon reading your file. Blue hadn't even met you yet. She'd heard rumors about your involvement with the Chief, and due to intimately knowing John's heart, she'd taken it upon herself to be your silent guardian.

John had lost enough. He didn't need to lose the one person he genuinely loved.

"You think this is the one?"

"Oh yeah," Kelly and Fred looked upon the digital file of your face in the debrief room of the Infinity. All of the data in your file pointed to you being heavily involved with The Master Chief and the Arbiter during the Human Covenant War. "That's them."

Lasky had been the one to convince you to stay. You were content to just.. disappear. It would've been easier to deal with John being gone if you just went away inside.

Dreams were more pleasant than reality. And they most often reared their ugly head when you were in the midst of the augmentations.

You remember many a night that Cortana had drawn you to his quarters when he was in the throes of a nightmare. It was fortunate you were a light sleeper anyway, because the only way you knew it was her was the incessant beeping and your door to your own quarters suddenly opening without anyone on the other side.

"Cortana?"

Nothing. You slowly got out of bed and followed the blue lights that illuminated the darkened hallway until they stopped to blink repeatedly at John's door. You paused. He was still always so hesitant to be vulnerable around you. John was not a man of words, but often actions, and being able to spill his raw and aching heart onto the floors of his bedroom is.. incomprehensible. He doesn't think himself capable of it.

You'd never forget how he looked there. Bathed in moonlight, head in his hands, desperately trying to control his uneven breathing and racing heart.

You silently approached from the doorway, settling down on your knees in front of him to take his hands into your own. You knew better than to believe he wasn't aware of your presence from the moment you'd come to the door.

Hands at your lips, you kiss each of The Master Chief's scarred knuckles, your eyes never leaving his. There's an echo of a song lingering in the humming that follows. It's familiar. Comforting. He hadn't known you could sing.

The softness there in your eyes - the humanity, something that you had been reminding him that he was capable of - was what made it just a little bit easier for John to breathe.

And brought the whole world back into focus.

***

They augment you. You become accustomed to the sound of your own screaming. You become accustomed to pain, and fear, and a deeply rooted desire to do for others what John had been doing for you for so long.

You ache for being protected. You ache for the solace of John, of his arms, of being home again. But home had disappeared four years ago. There was no going back to it.

Being a Spartan obligated you to be complacent in a world of bloodshed and war.

so much for keeping that humanity.

You familiarize yourself with the trigger. Grow used to pulling it, grow used to taking orders, grow used to excelling and succeeding. You struggle at first. They tell you that you aren't built for this. You know you aren't.

You push yourself harder. For John. To honor him.

However, little known to you, you're being watched by three guardian angels. The entirety of Blue Team has taken it upon themselves to ensure your safety. It's their way of honoring their fallen brother.

The last thing you're expecting is for them to approach you. It's well into the night, and you're running sims for the fourth hour in a row when it suddenly shuts down and you find yourself face to face with three Spartan Two's.

You jump to stand at attention. "Sir! Ma'am!"

All three remove their helmets and flash identical looks. They almost look like they're scolding you. "You don't need to salute. Not us. We're not the Chief," The male remarks playfully. "But you know that, don't you?"

"Everyone knows who you are." You reply as you point at each of them. "Fred-104, Kelly-087, and Linda-058. You're legends. What on Earth do you want with me?"

"It's not what we want," Linda interjected. "It's what you've given. We know."

Every cell of your body froze. You struggled to swallow as your blood ran cold, the memory of John's hands in your own and his lips at the crown of your head flashing at the forefront of your memory. Such a precious thing.. memories. They often make their way into your dreams.

"What do you want?" You repeated.

"We don't think John is dead. And since we don't think that, we've taken it upon ourselves to succeed in our self-appointed mission." Fred pointed a single finger at you. "Keeping you safe. Training you to be the best of the new Spartans, because we want you to be able to survive our world so you can see John again."

***

Time passed, and you left with Blue until you were called back to the Infinity. That was Fred's doing. Lasky had approved the transfer almost immediately. You found camaraderie with them. A unit.

And they did exactly what they said they would: Protected you, trained you to learn how to adapt to their world. You got good at it.

The better you got at being a Spartan, the more of your humanity you had to lose.

No one told you when John came back. No one told you when he came back, and Cortana came back, and it felt like all the air was sucked right from your lungs when Del Rio ordered you into the bridge and you found yourself staring at them both.

The memory of a night bathed in moonlight flashed before your eyes once again as you lifted your visor to meet the gold one across from you. Your tongue is heavy in your mouth, and all words escape you, but you can't bring yourself to look away from him.

"Master Chief," You say as firmly as possible. John is your superior officer, after all. "It is good to see you, sir."

He's beautiful. Beautiful, and here, and alive.

***

Cortana had to remind him three times that it wasn't a dream. That you were standing in front of him in Spartan armor, and that the person he'd left behind all those years ago was most definitely not the same one he was looking at now.

When you removed your helmet, his heart sank. There was a new scar on your face. Your eyes were hardened as you stood at attention for Lasky and Del Rio. What had you seen? What had you been through?

"Master Chief? We have a mission for you."

Why hadn't he been there to protect you from it?

***

Gone.

She's gone.

He trudges back to the Infinity with a heavy step and an even heavier heart after The Didact is defeated. There is nowhere to go, and no one to turn to, so The Master Chief finds himself in front of the windows overlooking the planet.

It's not the planet he's paying attention to. It's the moon.

"Chief."

Nothing. He should be paying attention because he's still required to be a soldier, but The Master Chief is very far away.

And it's usually you who ends up bringing him back.

"John." The desperate, quiet nature of the voice pleading with him to come back is what drew The Master Chief from his reverie. He's still in his armor, and the armor is the most protection he's had in four years, but the thought of being able to find sanctuary with you again is what caused him to turn around. You reached out with a waiting hand. "The night cycle will be over eventually. C'mon."

He allowed himself to be led into the darkness of your quarters aboard The Infinity. The moment that you both recognize that you're alone, you turn toward John and hesitantly reach your hands upward. He knows what this means. The two of you used to do this quite often.

John tipped his head forward, at your mercy, and allowed you to remove his helmet. Part of him was nervous that you would no longer want him the same way. That he was damaged goods.

But that hardened look he'd seen on the bridge is gone now, replaced by a gentle reverence illuminated by the moon outside as you whisper, "There you are. My Master Chief."

***

You can see the despair in his eyes the longer he traced the scars you'd obtained. John lay at your side, a singular finger tracing across your shoulder blades where the largest of the augmentation scars was.

"I should've been here. You should've never had to endure this." John confessed quietly. You didn't respond. Just the fact he was speaking his own thoughts out into the open was enough to keep you silent. His wounds are fresh. On display. With Cortana gone, and your own suffering he had not kept you from, you could tell that he blamed himself for all that had happened.

You shivered as his fingers traced the line of your hip before coming up to cup your jaw, turning your head toward him. He seemed to be most devastated about the scar on your face.

"Do you..." You swallowed the knot in your throat and leaned into the warmth of his palm. "Do you want me to tell you?"

There's a lot to tell him. A lot that you're hesitant to tell him because he carried his own demons and his own regrets and shortcomings like it was his own personal cross to bear.

So you tell him something better instead.

"I met Blue," You slide down the bed and tuck your head under his chin, wrapping both arms around his frame. "They ended up being my silent guardians for those first few years. Said they wanted to honor you by protecting me. Ended up being the primary ones who trained me" You laugh softly. "Maybe that's why I've made such a good Spartan."

Little known to you, one of the first things John had done upon returning to The Infinity was request your transfer to Blue Team. He hadn't anticipated that Kelly, Fred and Linda would find you first, much less train you.

He never wanted you to be like him. To be a soldier, to be a machine. You were too good for that. Too soft. Too human.

This wasn't what you were meant for.

Enveloped in your arms, The Master Chief slowly rubs circles into the base of your neck as your body falls limp in his embrace. He's humming something low under his breath. A song he'd forgotten he'd ever heard. It sounded like it was a memory.

Or maybe a dream.

Never mind the darkness

Never mind the storm

Never mind the blood red moon

The night will be over soon....

Hopefully your dreams are less tainted with red then his are.

#The Master Chief #The Master Chief x Reader #Master Chief x Reader

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bugs1nmybrain · 10 months

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L Lawliet x Curvy!Reader

People seemed to like the first chubby reader one I did so I thought I should add onto it. This list is more for curvy people rather than strictly chubby. The body type I'm describing in this list is somewhat chubby, but their hips and breasts are larger in comparison to their waist.

I've been insecure about my weight and body lately and writing my favorite character loving me as I am helps.

Warnings: Minors Don't Interact (you must be 18+ to access this post). Nsfw, body worship themes, implied fem reader, L is horny and kinda loves you or whatever

You are so so so so so cute

He loves you

In particular, he thinks you look lovely in anything you wear. The way your proportions look in an outfit makes him aroused if he allows himself to get distracted

His favorite is when you'd wear waist accentuating black skirts that showed off how wide your hips were in comparison to your midsection

And your tits. Omfg

L swears you've made him the most human he's ever been

When it's just you and him alone during the day, he enjoys it when you bring him a cup of coffee or tea (you can try an energy drink but please don't because you'll create a new addiction for him) and then proceed to sit in between his legs. He always takes advantage of this, making sure to hold you close so he can feel your form pressed against him

He doesn't understand how he got so lucky

If you're a particularly affectionate person, he honestly doesn't mind. It gives him an excuse to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close. He is in love with the way your ass presses against his groin.

During your more intimate times together, he gets that feeling that he's ridiculously fortunate for a partner like you

Because in his eyes you're beautiful and being able to see you in the most vulnerable position turns him on mentally

He treats you like fine china, typically touching you very delicately. Not that it's a bother, his hands are soft and his fingers are nimble.

He wants to touch you very often. Which is surprising, because he's not a very affectionate person. You're his exception.

Sometimes he forgets to ask if he can kiss your forehead or come up and hug you (especially from behind). He'll strike unexpectedly

Cleavage makes him nervous

Because he can't not look

Boobs in general make him nervous

When you hugged for the first time he didn't expect the sudden wave of arousal when he felt your breasts press against his chest.

You remind him of cake in a way. Pretty and hard to resist (sorry)

He's more than willing to eat you out. He'd do it everytime if you wanted. It's his absolutely favorite area on you. He gets to taste and lick your pussy?? And have his head in between your thighs?? And he also has access to your tummy??? He has no complaints.

I don't think I've mentioned how much he loves your ass

He always sneaks glances when he can

You make him shy sometimes

Who would've guessed the world's greatest detective is down for you so bad

#l lawliet #l lawliet smut headcanons #l lawliet x reader

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erismerald · 7 months

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𝐓𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 (Samuel Drake x Insecure Fem! Reader) 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈

𝐀/𝐍: Hello my loves! I know I have been some time away and without any kind of inspiration, however this has been a very complicated year for me and I have not been well enough mentally to even be able to read or post anything!!! But luckily I am slowly getting better (because i´ve meet someone who´s inspire me, and tbh he is a lot like Sam) and now I feel a little more inspired and motivated to write!!! I wish you a good read and I would like to remind you that my orders will open in a few days or so feel free to send me something!!!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It's amazing how exciting and terrifying living alone can be, during a sleepless night as you think back and rethink the nights others warmed the bed of the person you loved the most, a storm of pleasure hit your door.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Insecure reader, Age gap, Semi-Nsfw (sexual tension is in the air for now eheheh) a huge load of fluff, Drunk Sam

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,517

Lust is a pleasure bought with pains, a delight hatched with disquiet, a content passed with fear, and a sin finished with sorrow. It's not reprehensible to want something that isn't ours, to desire in the depths of our thoughts something that our heart yearns for, that our body malevolently covets, to be enveloped by the sin that torments our thoughts… during the day it's as if it's just a specter that struts around your heart, but when dusk sets in, this carnal sin dominates every sensation in your body, until the revelry of your hands sliding across your soft skin begins, caressing every centimetre of the core of your body, allowing your thoughts to imagine him in your place… in his most libinous state, such a pure sensation, you begin to imagine his body attached to yours, both in a voluptuous battle to feel more of each other, his lips brushing against your neck and his husky voice a melody to your ears, you imagine his hands pressing you against the mattress, his tongue obscenely tracing its way down between your legs… in the pitch black, you utter his name lovingly like a lover whispering the most lascivious promises, you purr his name, yet your hands caress your core, feeling the wave of pleasure run through every cell of your body… when that pleasure finally sinks in, you open your eyes and feel yourself gasping for breath, and you realise that it was nothing more than your imagination.

You get up calmly from your bed, your body still recovering from the forbidden sensation of pleasure, you see your naked figure in a small worn mirror given to you by the person who kept your mind occupied day and night, quite possibly looted during one of his countless adventures with his companion Sully, and you realise that your face is flushed, ashamed as you remember the previous events, you look away in a struggle to maintain focus, redirect your gaze back to the object and in its reflection observe your nude physique, from your perspective it was no big deal, for many years you hid yourself because you were ashamed of certain features, until you met Samuel Drake, a charming man you were fortunate enough to meet at a conference given by one of your favourite journalists, Elena Fisher. Since then, your friendship and your love for him have intensified, even though you knew that your feelings for him were completely doomed and incorrect… for various reasons: your age difference, your lack of experience in relationships, his lack of interest in you… Sometimes you let your mind wander to the immensity of the women he'd already had and that brought you a feeling of craving… jealousy, but deep down you knew that it was completely impossible for anything to happen between the two of you, he saw you as a godchild, a kid in his eyes… You shook your head in an endeavour to dispel these negative thoughts and focus on what was important at that moment: finishing your college paper, you still had a few days to hand it in but you'd rather get it done before you suffocate yourself with work.

The temperature had dropped over the last few days, you could feel it as you walked barefoot across the cold living room floor of your small flat, your gaze carefully examining the clutter, the abandoned sheets and books in battle, on the living room coffee table, on the desk, even on the kitchen table, you could tell that these last few days had been extremely busy, and a large part of you wanted to finish this work as soon as possible so that you could rest and take a few days for yourself. Contemplating the huge window in front of you, it was raining heavily and the only lights were those of the huge city on the horizon, this kind of weather had been your favourite since you were a child, you slowly made your way through the small room towards the kitchen, a coffee would be your salvation for the night, or so you thought.

The sound of lightning echoed through the sky, hours had passed since you started working, you quickly glanced at the window and the rain had become heavier and steadier, completely distracted by the storm brewing on the horizon, you were surprised by the ringing of the doorbell… you weren't expecting anyone that night… or any other night, but for a moment you felt a wave of anxiety run through your body, who could it be? You walked cautiously to the door and peered through the peephole, holding your breath as you saw who was on the other side… Sam… his wet clothes clinging to his muscular body, his hair in disarray and on closer inspection you noticed that he had a wound on one of his arms and his nose was once again broken… You quickly opened the door, his expression changing from serious to relieved within seconds of seeing you.

"S-Sam? what happened-" your question was interrupted when your bodies came together in an embrace, you could feel his breathing quicken, his body relax as it came into contact with yours, his perfume was intoxicating mixed with the blood that dripped down his arm, his face was hidden in the hollow of your neck and that activated something in your body, a strange warmth travelled through your whole being "S-Sam…?" you asked once more.

"I'm sorry for turning up unannounced, darling, but I didn't have anywhere else to go so I thought I'd pay my dear Y/N a visit." For a few seconds his raspy voice against your neck provoked another feeling, a river of pleasure emerged from between your legs, but you put that thought aside when you smelled the alcohol, he was drunk… and had most likely got into some kind of bar fight. As much as it pained you, you pulled your bodies apart and looked straight into his eyes, you had to take care of him, he needed you right now.

"Come on… Let's take care of you, big guy" he chuckled softly, and with a little effort you managed to get him to the sofa, but when you got there you unbalanced yourself on one of your books and almost fell on top of him "S-sorry, the mess is huge, I've been busy-" your eyes met and you could see amusement in the depths of his eyes, his gaze analysed you calmly from top to bottom, your heart started racing, you could feel his breath close to your lips. … but you quickly pulled away, you knew that look wasn't really directed at you, you knew that because he was drunk he could do and say things that he didn't really feel. "Whilst I get the first aid box, please Sam stay still" you stood up from your position, you heard a snort of laughter coming from him, you could feel that cunning old man smirk

"Your house… your orders love, I promise I'll be quiet" he said as you walked away towards the bathroom, picking up the small white box, you stopped in front of the mirror, you were flushed red, your breathing fast, you couldn't get out of your head the image of him lying on your sofa, his sweatshirt clinging to his body… for a man in his 40s, he's too well preserved… you got lost in your thoughts and only came back when you heard his voice pulling you back to reality "What's up Y/N?" his voice was mesmerising, once again you tried to push those thoughts out of your head, you had to focus on the task at hand.

You quickly return to the living room, Sam was sitting on the sofa going through some of your papers when you arrived. "You've been really busy, huh? Have you had any time to yourself? with so many books around I don't think so" he said as you made room to sit next to him, every touch of your skin, even covered by clothes, made your blood rush through your veins "please can you pull up your sleeve? It's funny that every time we meet I have to look after you and yes I've been busy unfortunately" you sighed opening the box and taking out some of the materials you'll need, he smiled as he took off his shirt, as you turned to him you saw his naked torso in front of you, you automatically got embarrassed and looked away, he saw you blush and smirk, he knew the effect he had on you, the air around you was hot. … you wanted to focus on the task at hand but you couldn't, the sensation of his body close to yours, the heat he emanated… it was like a drug was affecting you, but with a lot of effort you managed to finish bandaging his arm. You felt his gaze intensify on you, those earth-coloured eyes analysing every bit of your skin exposed by the pyjamas you were wearing. Sam had looked at you like that before, but on all those occasions he had been drunk, and in an attempt to divert the subject you asked him how he had got himself into that state.

"Well, I'm in town for a few days, Victor and I think this might be our next clue to an artefact we're looking for, and since I had nothing to do I went for a drink, but I think I pissed someone off by trying to flirt with the barmaid…" he said, leaning back on the sofa. Jealousy… That feeling from earlier again… Anger and insecurity ran through your head, and you weren't even listening to what he was saying anymore, it was as if your mind had focussed on that one detail, it was obtuse to think of him as a lover, let alone be jealous of something that wasn't even yours, but that feeling was consuming you and you only managed to return to reality when you felt his touch on your arm "Hey? are you listening darling?" You immediately looked at him, you could feel tears forming in your eyes and so as to avoid having to deal with questions or the feeling of pity, you got up and walked to the kitchen "I'm going to make some coffee", was the last thing you had said before leaving the room.

You shouldn't feel angry, you shouldn't even desire what isn't yours, but somehow that feeling consumed your whole being, just imagining the women who warmed his bed, the cries of pleasure that came out of their mouths, the touches, the words spoken… everything you couldn't have but wanted, everything you longed to have but once again didn't have… you let your mind wander, until you felt a gentle touch on your shoulder, you looked back and Sam's face seemed somewhat saddened to see you like that, neither of you uttered a single word, but the silence was quite comfortable, but unfortunately you couldn't hold back the tears that you had fought so hard to keep in your eyes, and finally they dripped down from your eyes, wetting your face. Sam stroked your arm first, pulling you closer to him, cutting the space between the two of you, and gently lifted your chin so that your eyes meet, wiping away the tears that were still running down your cheeks with his thumb, without cutting your gaze… inside you were nervous, sad, but the feeling of his caress made you feel at peace with yourself.

"Tell me, dear, what's wrong? You know you can trust me with everything" he whispered in your ear as he pulled you into his arms, the only thing you knew how to do was hide your face in his chest, hugging him tightly… asking the gods that this moment would last forever.

"Sam… I… I know I shouldn't, I know it's not the right thing to do, but I've had feelings for you since the day we met… every time you call me, every time we meet, I wonder when I'll be able to see you next… you've stolen my heart in a way that I can't even express myself…" You said softly, still hiding your face in his body, "I long for something that isn't mine, and I get jealous every time I know that someone else is taking the place that could be mine in your bed… next to you." Saying this out loud was a really difficult task, you didn't want to give in to temptation, but you couldn't bear to let yourself feel this anguish any longer, no matter how much you'd be rejected, you'd rather tell him than hide it. Sam once again grabbed your chin and forced you to look up. The light around you was tenuous, and you could hardly see what was around you, but for mere moments it was just the two of you in that kind of darkness. You felt Sam slowly approaching you, his lips brushed your neck "Do you want me?" he said as he gently kissed your exposed neck "Sam…" you felt his tongue drawing little 's' on your skin "Answer me darling, do you want me?" his lips moved up to your lobe, nibbling, letting out a slight moan, "Y-Yes… " you answered breathlessly, he pulled away, leaving you in the interlude of a forbidden pleasure, your eyes locked once more, one of his hands rested on the side of your face, forcing your lips to be mere millimetres apart, the other slid down your body until it reached your waist, pulling you towards him, claiming you as his.

"My dear Y/N, ever since I laid eyes on you I knew I wanted you… no other woman can fulfil the desire I feel for you… i thought you'd reject me so i didn't go through with it, but god damned, each night i wished it was you whispering my name, that it was you moaning with each thrust, that it was your heart that beat close to mine after we fell on the mattress tired and sweaty from the carnal battle that neither of us had won" and with that he sealed your lips, you felt his tongue asking permission to enter and you gave in, you were both gasping, but the fight didn't stop there. With a simple gesture, the hand that was holding your waist lifted you up onto the stall, forcing both your legs open, where he positioned himself in the middle, his kisses went down to your neck once more and all you could do was moan his name.

"Tell me you want me, darling, beg for me, let me be a priest who worships you, let me make you mine, and only mine…" he said between kisses and caresses, your head was light, the only thing you could hear was the sound of your heart and the pounding rain, but with effort you answered

"Yes… please."

𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝…

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chicken-fifi · 8 months

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Promises for the Future | Kim Geonwoo (Bloodhounds)

Pairing: Kim Geonwoo x Hong Woojin Sister!Pregnant!Fem!Reader

Requested by anon: i am really relieved, someone write bloodhounds 😭😭 could you please write kim geonwoo x f!preganant!reader (woojin's little sister) in 6 months later please? thank you ^^

Genre: fluff laced with angst because this show is just a rollercoaster of emotions

Warnings: mentions of violence from previous episodes, mentions of character deaths, Bloodhounds spoilers, pregnant reader, pregnancy, fetal movement, sibling banter

Word Count: 1,257 words

A/n: i love this show so much, but it breaks my heart. pregnant reader here reminds me of everything that Dooyoung could've had if he hadn't come back. he could still be alive, with his wife and baby 😭😭😭 i'm not crying you are! also, reader's last name is Hong. this is not a continuation of "hang in there."

Hand pressed to your lower back, you waddled out into the yard after having heard both your brother and boyfriend come back from their morning run. Mr. Oh had just stepped out to buy some groceries to make breakfast, having refused your offer to join him for the short trip.

It’d been five months since you’d moved out to the countryside with him after everything had happened. The first month after Mr. Choi’s murder you’d been at the orphanage with Geonwoo’s mother helping out as best as you could with all the kids wherever the staff needed you.

However, just as your luck throughout this whole ordeal would have it, within your first week of being there you suspected you were pregnant after having missed your period and the sudden morning sickness that succeeded that. His mother had been the first to suggest the possibility, having been aware that you and Geonwoo had most definitely shared at least one night together in the time you’d been dating (curse the thin walls of the apartment when he snuck you in). She was the reason why, after you’d taken the pregnancy test and gotten a positive, you had taken the first bus back to the city then a cab to the residence. You can imagine your shock at seeing the burned remains of the house you’d spent countless weeks in.

Neighbors had fortunately been able to direct you to a nearby hospital where one of the victims of the sudden fire had been hospitalized for nearly a month due to “severe burns” - although they all claimed the young man hadn’t been burned but stabbed to an inch of his life. You’d immediately thought it had been Geonwoo who’d been stabbed. Woojin, your brother, could surely handle his own - even with a knife’s sharp edge pointed in his direction. But either way, you would be losing, hurting, and worried for whichever one of the two it was that was hospitalized. When you’d found Geonwoo sitting in a waiting room after visiting hours, your heart had a brief relief before panic filled your entire being as you rushed at him needing to know how your brother was.

It was clear your boyfriend had been expecting anyone but you to be the person who grabbed his shoulders late that night based on the immediate tense and fighting stance his body took on reflex. He’d relaxed as soon as he registered that it was you, only to get worried himself because you being back in the city only put you in danger. But eventually he relented, not seeing it the time nor logical to argue with you then and there. You were already back in the city and getting you back to the orphanage now would be more difficult than ever - even if he didn’t know why you were back.

Woojin, while still under heavy observation by doctors, was better than you had expected him to be. He was wide awake and visible well other than the grimaces and winces whenever he sat up, turned, or stretched. And one never would’ve known that he’d nearly bled to death from how quickly he’d lunged himself at Geonwoo after you’d come clean about your reason for being there. He’d been pretty upset about it for a while - who wouldn’t be if their best friend slept with their little sister? Not to mention the current situation they were in - but eventually came around after seeing how happy the two of you were and the thought of being able to (hopefully) spoil his future niece or nephew with the money won during his matches.

Upon his discharge from the hospital, Mr. Oh brought the three - or four, depending on how you look at it - of you to his home in the countryside. Much to both of your dismay, Geonwoo and Woojin were both dead set on avenging Mr. Choi’s, Yangjung, and Dooyoung’s murders and bring down Smile Capital once and for all. With roughly two months left of your pregnancy, it was more and more worrisome seeing the training the boys were putting themselves through for the sake of their planned justice. That mixed with the possibility of them getting hurt was even more worrying.

You hadn’t actually seen what those cowards could do, but Woojin had already nearly died during their last encounter, Geonwoo’s facial scar, Mr. Choi, Yangjun, and Dooyoung - along with his family - murders were enough evidence to prove the lengths to which they would go to. And you couldn’t help but think that maybe it was best to back off.

At the beginning, before the last six months happened, you’d been onboard with snuffing them out. It wasn’t fair to the innocent people being hunted down for the deadly loan they’d been tricked into taking. But now with a new life inside of you and close to arriving, you worried about your own family. Godforbid something were to happen, but if it did, and if you were to lose both Woojin and Geonwoo - or just one and not the other - would it really have been worth it?

“Hey,” Geonwoo’s voice announced his presence pulling you from your thoughts. “Did you sleep well?”

“About as well as I can when needing to pee every three seconds,” you joked hoping it would lift your spirit a little bit and maybe have him forget about the dull look that was on your face when he walked in. No luck.

“You’re worried again aren’t you.”

He could always read you like a book. Your hands cradled your belly, smoothing out your shirt over the sore flesh feeling small movements from your baby as you nodded avoiding his gaze. It had been a constant topic of debate between the four of you. Mr. Oh and you completely against their persistent plan of justice; Geonwoo and Woojin seeing nothing wrong with said plan.

“Geon,” you sighed. “It’s not safe.”

“With them still out there it’ll never be safe.”

“You heard what they did to Dooyoung and his wife - even when he gave in trusting they would let her and the baby live. You saw what they did to Woojin - to you! I’d rather live the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder with you than without you or Woojin. Please, just - just think it over.”

Geonwoo sighed deeply as he took your hand in his, his knuckles grazing over you bump as he looked down at it lovingly before returning his gaze to your eyes. He knew it was a bit selfish of him to ask for you to trust him, to believe in his plan, to believe him when he promised that he’d come back to you and make sure Woojin did as well. It was incredibly selfish of him, but he couldn’t help it. When it came to you, he would always end up being selfish.

He whispered your name softly and you closed your eyes feeling the tears well, “I promise we’ll handle it and everything will go back to normal. We’ll get to start a new life us, the baby, my mom, Woojin. We’ll all get a new life with not debt and nothing to worry about. I promise. Just, please understand.”

So you nodded, because you knew that no matter how much you pleaded his heart of gold would always win. He would stand with his decision. And he would not back down from it.

“Okay. But you have to come back in one piece. Both of you.”

“We will. I promise.”

#kdrama imagines #kdrama scenarios #bloodhounds #bloodhounds masterlist #bloodhounds imagines #bloodhounds scenarios #bloodhounds kim geonwoo #kim geonwoo #kim geonwoo imagines #kim geonwoo scenarios #bloodhounds geonwoo #geonwoo #geonwoo imagines #geonwoo scenarios

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letarasstuff · 2 years

Text

About Grief, Love and (Un)Fairness

(A/N): While writing this I learned, that my mascara really is water proof. Can recommend it, 10/10.

Summary: Spencer and his daughter are still grieving the death of a wife and a mother

Warnings: A loved ones death (died in a hospital), grief, a whole lotta sadness

Wordcount: .9 k

✨Masterlist✨ ____________________________ After a relaxing day of paperwork in the office, Spencer stumbles through the front door with his keys in one hand and a paper bag with take out in the other.

"(Y/N)! I'm home! And I brought food! Maybe we can watch this documentary about the Latin alphab-" He cuts himself off as he sees his daughter sitting on the couch in the dark. The low light coming from the hallway illuminates the tear streaks on her cheeks.

Immediately Spencer scrambles to action, putting the food down, throwing his satchel and jacket somewhere in the room. Kneeling in front of her, he tries to take in as much of her appearance as possible. Which was admittedly pretty difficult, since (Y/N) cocooned herself into a blanket.

"Sweetheart, what happened? Did you get hurt? Did something happen at school? On your way home? Please, talk to me!" His panic is evident in his voice and Spencer doesn't even try to mask it.

Slowly, she opens her mouth and speaks up with a husky voice. "It's not fair."

Her statement confuses the father. He sits next to her on the couch and pulls her into his arms. (Y/N) puts her head onto his shoulder. His finger grazing slowly over her back in circles encourages the teenager to continue.

"It's not fair. Why is everyone allowed to make memories, core memories, with their mothers and I don't? Why can Jasmin go on a Mother-Daughter-Trip with hers? Why can Natasha go to her mom, when she gets her period, and lets her explain what’s happening? Why can Chad go to his mom to cry? Why am I denied these simple joys? What did we do to deserve this? What did mom do, that she must have died in this awful hospital, because some hospital workers weren't able to keep it clean enough to prevent her from catching hospital germs. IT IS NOT FAIR!"

Her last words are accentuated by her lightly hitting Spencer's back with her fists, not really putting any strength into it.

The father has to keep his tears to himself, burying his own feelings of grief deep down for the moment. Because his daughter needs him.

"I know, Sweetheart. It's not fair," he whispers into her hair while rocking the both of them, as she starts to sob. "Not a single thing about this is fair. But unfortunately life is not about fairness. I can't really tell you what life is about, but we need to work with what we are dealt. Nothing if it makes sense. And it never will. But we need to keep going. If it's not for yourself, then for mom. She wanted nothing more than to watch you growing up. Becoming a person. Experience your own milestones. Starting to lead a life, a better life than she did in her teen years.

Maybe you can do her the favor and do all the stuff she wanted to do. To see. We can do that all in her place. Does that sound good?"

(Y/N) nods into his shoulder. Tears are still streaming down her face, fortunately her sobs have stopped.

"Dad, will it ever get better? It's nearly seven years and it still hurts the same." Spencer sighs. It's one of the few questions he doesn't really have an answer for.

"I hope, Sweetheart. I hope so. At least the pain will be more manageable. But it never really will be gone, I'm afraid. Having the pain with us means we never forget her. That's a good thing. We just need to learn how to minimize the pain. That's something we can work on together."

The teenager nods again.

“I love her. I can’t bring myself to talk about her in past tense. I need to actively remind myself what her voice was like. Her laugh. Her features. And then I keep asking myself, if she would have liked the version of myself I have become. And the one I’ll become. She only got to know the me from seven years ago. But I’m a different person now. And I still feel so so much love and appreciation for her and I can go nowhere with it, because she is not there to receive it. I just want to tell her ‘I love you’ one last time. To let her know I really mean it. Because I feel like I haven't said that enough to her. I can’t blame myself for it, since I was only ten. And I can’t blame myself for not actively appreciating the time with her then, because I was only ten. I never expected her to be snatched from us so young, so early.”

Spencer tightens his grip on her, knowing (Y/N) isn’t looking for words. She is looking for his warmth. For his comfort.

For the time being the two of them bask in the presence of the other.

Wishing they were three instead of two people in this room in this hug. But life seldom gives you what you want.

I know, this was a sad one. Just, please consider leaving feedback, and even if it's just a crying emoji. On this plattform, we as writers are become desperate at this point for feedback, so let's stop seeing this as IG or TT and start interacting more. Thank you.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @venomsvl @jswessie187 @kneelforloki @ssa-uglywhore27

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner @thefandomchoosesthewizard

General Spencer Reid:

@rayethefaye

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x teen!reader #spencer reid #x reader #x fem!reader #x daughter!reader #x teen!reader #reader insert #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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rayshippouuchiha · 1 year

Note

Reading your KHR reactions was the highlight of my day, thank you ❤️

Do you still take fic recs, cuz I have a few (mostly SI/OC fic, regular OC fic) to recommend

Kyoko by Discoabc. Slight AU, SI/OC Kyoko. The fact that the author was able to balance a ridiculous amount of OC AND the KHR cast is insane. Most of their interpretations of the main cast was quite original at the time of reading. ( My fav was Bel’s for spoilers reasons). The plot twists were phenomenal.

My heavenly judgement by Colbub. I have seen this recommendation in another’s so I won’t repeat this, but I seconded the recs. Kyoya x Alice gang rised up 😭😭😭

When Pigs fly by Nerro. It has been sometimes since I read this one, so the finer details have escaped me. But I remember having a really good time reading this lmao. Dino x OC, AU (?), completed, mostly romcom shenanigans.

Confession of A Teenage Hitman by Fish and Chipz. Same as above, finer details have escaped me but I had fun reading. Hibari x Hitman!OC, also w romcom(?) shenanigans, but the a reviewer did said they bailed their eyes out reading so take that as you will

Parallel Fate by Stop’nGo Girl. Dino x Isekai!OC, quite wholesome and healing. OC got switched with their parallel self in the KHR universe and must adapt to their life, despite being total opposite.

Prince Belphegor’s Guide to Parenting by AllThingsVaria. KHR x HP crossover with FEHarry (adopted by Bel and made royalty). This was as adorable as a Varia-adopts-child fic can be, with a lot of insanity sprinkle in. The sequel, Princess Hel’s guide to School, promised to fuck the Wizarding World up and I’m all here for that.

Is it considered cheating in life? by GuessWhoIAm27. You gotta read the version posted on FFN, it’s longer. A slightly delulu OC got dropped into KHRverse by a God’s mistake and proceed to ignore reality and focus on making her OTP canon (spoilers alert: no one in universe understands what she’s doing either). I came for the mindless fun and stayed for the feels. Endgame pairing is intended to be Hibari x OC.

Fortune Favours by AlligatorEyes. I think I see Sass and Win being rec to you in a different ask so, if you read SnW then you should be familiar with the author’s writing style. This one is different tho, a rather interesting interpretations of Dino’s youth that I have not read anywhere else. Remind me of reading the Dino’s side-story in the KHR novels actually

Novaturient by woofio. Reincarnated OC into, like, Hibari’s parents timeline. So OCs, side characters in KHR got a lot of time to shine here. Many things, mostly bad things,happened to the OC but we do have quite a few fluff to balance it out. Come read this and cry with meeee

If you Can’t beat them by metisket. Hana is that that one ride or die friend to Kyoko, literally. One shot, completed. Really good character interactions.

Copy & Paste by LadyHallen. One shot completed. A unique take on Twins fic

your love is a crime by blackkat. KHR x Captain America. Oneshot completed. The pairing is Steve x Xanxus. Yes, you read that right. I found this in a sleepless night. Technically a 2 shots since there is a sequel???

With all due respect, sir (meaning none) by Nobodystormcrow. OC, who was reincarnated in Naruto, died and reincarnated again in KHR. As Basil. This, as usual, changes things exponentially. Pairing is Bel x Basil.

I have been in and out of the fandom for the last few years so I am playing catch-up with many fics. The sheer amount of creativity still blows me away.

Have fun readinggg

!!!!

#RayRambles #Fic Rec #KHR #Katekyo Hitman Reborn

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ravenpuff88 · 9 months

Text

The Stars in Your Eyes

Amit Thakkar x Female!MC

Warnings: Excessive nerdy astronomy talk, MC being a bit insecure, small existential crisis (definitely not inspired by personal experience😅), ultra fluffiness

Word Count: 1831

Synopsis: While spending time stargazing, the pair find themselves not just admiring the stars. (You might even call them star-crossed lovers…hehe I know it's cheesy af)

Essentially an adorable love confession between two friends. (I didn’t have a specific time in mind for when this takes place, but for reference let’s just say it’s been at least around a year since the events of the game)

Author’s Note: This is my very first attempt at writing fanfiction so any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! I’ll admit that this is a little self-indulgent as I myself love looking at and talking about Astronomy and have developed quite a soft spot for our boy Amit. Though I hope even the non-star lovers can still enjoy this! :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And that one there is Sirius.”

“The dog?” Squinting her eyes and adjusting her telescope, she tried to make out the constellation Amit had pointed at. As much as she enjoyed gazing at and observing the various stars and astronomical objects in the sky, she internally chuckled at her lack of skill when it came to effectively using a telescope.

“A little to the left… here, let me…” Amit gently placed his hand over hers as he guided her to the correct spot. Adjusting it one more time, she sees the unmistakable bright collection of stars. Smiling, she looks over to Amit who’s still staring up at the night sky.

Tonight had fortunately been a particularly clear one, allowing her to soak in the image of her moonlit friend. She admired the small smile on his lips and the way his eyes longingly gazed up at the sky, the stars twinkling reflection in them. Despite the late-night chill, she felt her face grow warm when he turned back to look at her. Quickly averting her eyes back to the telescope, she feigned being in the process of looking for another constellation.

“Thank you by the way,” she whispers, not quite having the courage to meet his eyes just yet. “For agreeing to meet me tonight. You’ve been a tremendous help, and not just in Astronomy, but in all my classes.”

The corners of his mouth turn up. “You are most welcome. It is a pleasure to be able to help you.” He watches as she gazes at him from the corner of her eyes, her face still against the telescope.

“I only wish I could offer you more help of my own. You’re one of my closest friends and have done so much to help me without so much as asking for anything in return.” A small sigh leaves her lips as she pulls away from the telescope to finally face him.

Amit turns his head slightly in confusion as she gives him a half-hearted smile. “And you are one of my closest friends,” he states. “I truly do not mind going out of my way to help you. Especially after all you’ve done for me and everyone else for that matter,” he chuckles, reminiscing on the year she had arrived and when they first met.

She too smiles at the memory. “I suppose I mean I wish I could provide more academic assistance to you as you so often do to me,” she murmurs.

“Need I remind you who is still currently the Crossed Wands Champion? You often forget that I am not nearly as gifted as you when it comes to dueling.” Taking a step towards her, he makes sure her eyes meet his as he smiles at her. “You’re the first and only person I ever ask to help with my Defense Against the Dark Arts assignments for a reason. And not just because you’re my closest friend in that class.”

Sheepishly bowing her head a little, she does her best to continue looking into his deep brown eyes. “Well… thank you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Trust me, you are an amazing witch with and without my help,” Amit said as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

The two exchanged a soft smile as both pairs of eyes slowly drifted back up to the twinkling sky. Neither spoke for a while, the only noise being the occasional cricket chirp or the distant sound of a broom flying by. The lack of conversation isn’t uncomfortable though as both are content just being in the other’s presence.

She’s the first to break the silence, however. “There are… so many stars,” she chuckles. “Not to point out the obvious or anything, but it’s crazy when you really think about how… insignificant we are in the grand scheme of the universe.” Amit hums in acknowledgment as the two continue staring at the endless void that sparkles above them.

“I mean… the universe already is unfathomably vast and coupled with the fact that it’s constantly expanding…” she takes a breath, shaking her head. “It's just unimaginable. We’re essentially a tiny speck, no even less than that, floating along through the infinite cosmos.”

A beat of silence passed through them and Amit took the moment to turn his gaze toward her. She was still craning her neck to look up, seemingly bewitched by the thousands of lights glittering in the sky. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes slightly glossy. She might have been standing right next to him, but the far-off look in her eyes told Amit her mind was miles away. His own eyes softened at the sight before him.

The light reflected from the moon bathed her in a light blue hue, highlighting her beautiful hair, her slightly creased forehead, and rather adorable eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Amit then felt his eyes wander down to her lips. When she wasn’t speaking they formed a small yet sad smile. She suddenly stopped to look at him.

Amit felt his face heat up as he briefly looked away, slightly embarrassed at being caught staring at her. When he looked back she was looking expectantly up at him, as if waiting for a response.

“Oh, I am terribly sorry, did you say something?” A faint blush dusted his cheeks as he internally cursed himself for not paying attention to what she was saying.

“No worries,” she giggled, amused by his shy and apologetic nature. “I was just saying, do you ever feel… overwhelmed by the thought of everything? Of how meaningless it sometimes feels to even be here?” She looked back up. “I mean it’s utterly breathtaking don’t get me wrong. I love that I’m able to admire such beauty from right here but sometimes I think… if we’re so immensely small it’s honestly frightening to think about the impact of our very existence and how at the end of the day…” she paused, taking a deep breath. “Does it even matter? What’s the point of it all?”

She risks another glance at Amit and is met with his eyes staring intriguingly at her own. The corners of his mouth twitch slightly as he processes what she had just said. Conversations such as this one were reminders to him of one of the many reasons he cherished her and their interactions together. Perhaps something as deep as the questions she had asked him would be alarming to some, and while he wasn’t exactly expecting those words, Amit lives for moments like these. Times where he knows he’s not alone in his endless questioning of any and all things. And that she’s comfortable enough with him to have the courage to ask.

“I won’t pretend like I know the answer any more than you do,” he says softly, taking a step toward her. “But I will say this: whether or not our purpose-our very reason for existence has any significance beyond that of simply living a fulfilling life… I believe that, at the very least, there is something to be said about the impact we all make on ourselves and others.”

Amit takes another step closer to her, the pair’s eyes locked onto the other as the space between them nearly disappears. “While I hardly believe in luck, I do think that each one of us is lucky to be alive and here today. I think I am incredibly lucky to be where I am and at this very specific time since if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t know all the people I know now. I…” Taking her hand, Amit gently places his forehead against hers as he closes his eyes for a moment, savoring how close the two are.

“I wouldn’t know you.” Opening his eyes, he’s met with her incredibly bright ones. “I wouldn’t know what it’s like to see you every day. To hear your laughter echo across the halls. I wouldn’t know the warm fuzzy feeling I get whenever you ask me for help. How easy and intellectually stimulating our conversations are.” Seeing her eyes practically sparkle before him, Amit lifts his other hand and softly cups her cheek, relishing in the tiny gasp that slips past her lips.

“I wouldn’t know how beautiful your eyes are, how they shine brighter than any star.” Amit feels himself swimming in those gorgeous eyes. He’s drowning and has no intention of ever coming up for air. At last, his gaze drifts from her stunning eyes down to her lips once more. Looking back up, he searches her face for any signs of discomfort. “May I…” he whispers, hesitating slightly. “May I kiss you?”

Still utterly entranced by his words and the way he gazes down at her, it takes her a second to process his request. But only another moment passes before she nods her head. “Please…”

A small relieved sigh leaves Amit’s mouth as he slowly leans his head down to hers. He stops just short of her lips, feeling her breath against his face as he looks at her one more time, wordlessly asking permission just once more.

She smiles softly at his consideration and takes the opportunity to move forward herself to gently press her lips against his. Though slightly awkward at first, the kiss is delicate as the two begin to move their lips in unison.

As a steady rhythm is built, Amit gradually moves his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck, lightly pushing her further into him. With his other hand still connected with hers, he moves to lovingly intertwine their fingers while she finds purchase in lightly gripping the front of his robes.

He feels a soft groan leave his mouth when he feels the delicate trace of her tongue against his bottom lip. But before he can indulge any further, he feels her pull away for a breath, much to his dismay.

“Wow,” she gasped. She took in Amit’s flushed face and imagined she was in a similar state. As the two caught their breaths they locked eyes once more, smiling at each other before erupting into a fit of giggles.

“I love you,” She breathed in between laughs. Though when Amit suddenly went silent she feared she had just scared him off. “I…I mean…” she stuttered.

“Do you mean it?” he asked softly.

She chanced looking at him again, searching for anything in his eyes telling her she should deny it. But she was met with nothing but two deep pools of exquisite brown eyes. His eyes. The ones that seemed to look into her very soul. The ones that even now, were filled with nothing but sincerity.

“Yes.”

His eyes practically lit up at her confession. Placing his hands on her hips he effectively lifted her and spun her around, cherishing in her laughter echoing through the night. Setting her back down he moved both of his hands to her face.

“I love you too, my little star.”

#hogwarts legacy #amit thakkar #amit thakkar x reader #amit thakkar x mc #fluff #friends to lovers #hogwarts legacy fic #first fic

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celticcrossanon · 1 year

Text

BRF Reading - 4th of April, 2023

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 4th of April, 2023

Question: What do we need to know about the coronation of King Charles III?

Interpretation: Loss/death, reversal of fortunes, and a tower moment. This is not going to be the happy reading I hoped it would be.

Card One: The Four of Swords.

This is a card of retreat from the battles of the world, of rest, and it is also one of the death cards in the tarot, as it traditionally shows a tomb. The energy of this card is one of rest, of needing time alone to recover from the stresses of the world and to recuperate from exhaustion. I don't know if the message is for the general public, the king, or other members of the royal family, but the message is clear: rest, stop fighting battles and withdraw from the world for a while, recharge your energies.

One minor meaning of the Four of Swords is that of a ruined reputation. I am hoping that this meaning does not apply here.

Card Two: The Queen of Pentacles in Reverse.

The Queen of Pentacles is my card for a Capricorn person. The Capricorn in the BRF is The Princess of Wales, so this card is about Catherine (I looked up the natal chart of the other candidate, The Duchess of Edinburgh, and she has her sun in very early Aquarius).

With the Queen of Pentacles in reverse, something is going to be wrong with Catherine with respect to the coronation. She may not be able to attend for some reason, or if she does attend she will be not at her best. The card in reverse says that her light will be dimmed, she will be in eclipse somehow. If the card were upright, everything would be great and Catherine would be shining like the star she is, but with the card in reverse, something is wrong/overshadowed/dimmed. The coronation is not going to be a happy time for her. Even if she attends and smiles through it all, there will be hidden strain underneath. Something is not right here.

Card Three: The Five of Cups.

This is a card of loss and mourning, and for me, in this deck, it indicates the loss of a family member. More generally, it can indicate disappointment, with things not turning out as they should. It can indicate a person who is caught up in past emotions and who is incapable of moving on from those emotions.

This card has two energies. The first, which is a natural reaction to the coronation, is grief for the late Queen. The coronation is going to bring the loss of the late Queen sharply into focus, as it is all about the crowning of her replacement/successor. It is eight months (approximately) since she passed away, and that is not long enough for the mourning process to be - not complete, but stablised. It takes approximately a year or more to work through the first part of the grief over losing someone (which is why they say don't make any major decisions for a year after a death). The coronation is going to remind people of what they have lost as well as celebrating a new King.

As an aside, in my opinion, it would have been better to wait for another year before crowning King Charles, as everyone would be well and truly through the first year of mourning by then. As it is, it is going to be harder to celebrate when one part of you is still grieving for the late Queen.

The second energy from this card is that of disappointment, of things not being the way you expected them to be. I hate to write this, but I think that the coronation is going to be a disappointment to a lot of people, as a lot of the pomp and pageantry that people love has been removed from the celebration. I think that people will watch it expecting something like the coronation of the late Queen, which is all we have for comparison, and they will be disappointed. Alternatively, or at the same time, it could be Charles who ends up being disappointed. His day may turn out to be different to what he has dreamt about for all these years.

Hopefully no one dies and the loss of a family member meaning of this card and the death energy of the first card do not manifest.

Card Four: The Wheel of Fortune in Reverse.

This is the first major arcana card in the reading. It is one of two dominant energies in this reading.

When the Wheel of Fortune is in reverse, someone's fortunes are going to take a turn for the worse. This may be delayed until after the coronation, or it may be visible at the coronation. I don't know who this card is for, whether it is for specific person or for the BRF in general, but things are going to go downhill after the coronation.

The message from this card in this situation is to let go and let the changes happen. Don't try to control them, as that will only make things worse. Let go of trying to be in control and work with the changes until the wheel turns and you move out of this rough patch into better times.

Card Five: The Tower.

This is the second major arcana card in the reading, so it one of the two dominant energies of this reading. The Tower is a card of sudden upheaval, of an event that destroys part of your life so you have to rebuild it from the rubble. The coronation is going to be a Tower moment for someone. I don't know who (and I hope it is Harry's wake up call if he is there), but someone is going to find their life changed as a result of the coronation. Coming after the Wheel of Fortune in reverse this says that the change is not for the better, it is going to be a decline in fortune from which the person must rebuild part of their life on a more authentic foundation.

Note that this Tower event does not have to be a huge event. It could be as ordinary as going to the coronation and seeing something that brings something home to you in a way that you haven't experienced before. The turmoil, destruction and rebuilding are more likely to be internal rather than external events. The again, it could be a very public display of someone's change in status within the BRF. We will have to wait and see what happens on the day.

Underlying Energy: The King of Swords

The King of Swords can be a person, especially an Aquarian. It can also be an attitude of strategy, of using reason and intellect to look into and solve problems, of keeping a clear mind and making decisions based on logical thought while having all the consequences of that decision clear in your mind. It can also be a card of consulting expert advice, especially in the legal or medical fields.

The energy of this card is one of strategy and of consulting experts. The dominant energy is that of strategy. The coronation is being used as a strategic event to send political messages to the people in the UK and to the leaders of other nations. The strategic concerns have dominated the planning for the coronation.

There is also a strong energy of consulting experts. I don't know what about or who for, but there have definitely been a lot of experts consulted before decisions were made about the coronation.

Conclusion:

This is not the happy leadup to the coronation that I was expecting.

The dominant energies are that of the Tower and the Wheel of Fortune. Something about the coronation, the event itself or something that happens at it, is going to give someone a Tower moment where part of their life collapses and they have to rebuild it from rubble. At the same time, either this person or another person will suffer a reversal in their fortunes, which are most likely to be public (major arcana cards usually play out in the public arena). There will be a definite downturn in the luck/good fortune that will date from or be caused by the coronation. I am hoping that these cards apply to a specific person, but there is always the chance that they apply to the BRF as an institution.

There is death energy around the coronation in this reading. Part of that is that we are still in the first year of mourning the late Queen, and the coronation is going to highlight that loss. I hope that it all there is to it, as otherwise it looks like the BRF might lose another family member on or around the date of the coronation. The alternative is a loss of reputation, which is not good either.

Something is going to affect The Princess of Wales. She will be dimmed/not at her best, and she may even be absent from the coronation.

The energy going into the coronation is of needing rest. The general public and/or members of the BRF and/or the King need to pull back, take a break from the world and just rest for a bit. Otherwise, everyone at the coronation will be in a state of complete exhaustion and be unable to enjoy it. I feel that this message is for particular members of the BRF but I don't know who they are.

Finally, there is a possibility that the coronation will end up being a disappointment as it is different to what was expected. Again, this could apply to the general public and/or to the King.

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lutawolf · 1 year

Text

TharnType ep 5

I'm concerned that I talk too much about my past in these reviews. Maybe too much all together on my blog. I’m extraordinarily fortunate; I’m a survivor, not a victim. I’ve only mentioned my past because, like others, I have a complex backstory, which shapes my fears, my interests and my opinions. Furthermore, I never forget that inner complexity when I’m writing. Maybe if I were actually known versus anonymous, I would be less detailed and direct. More like MAME who hides her story beneath layers.

We start the series off with them buying bedsheets. It's one of my favorite scenes because it shows the huge development of Type. It's light and fun, but while Type walks away, he doesn't get angry. He's uncomfortable, but he's not truly angry. Book excerpt: But the person who is shyer than the shopping guide is Type.

I am not one for expensive gifts, but this is a different culture and there is a lot more meaning behind it. See, in America it is about bragging rights. Here it says, I value you and I have the resources to care for you.

Lots of things to point out in this next scene. Even though Type is uncomfortable and done eating, he doesn't leave Tharn. He stays, and he even starts to ask questions about Tharn. Type shows Tharn in so many little ways that he does care. When Tharn looks up, Type says never mind because he doesn't want to see Tharn upset. When Tharn reaches over to touch Type, Type lets him. He doesn't yank away. He tells him to let go, but remember, victims and survivors are very uncomfortable with surprise touch. Book excerpt: “Let go of me!” Type yelled, Tharn let go of his hand and Type immediately grabbed his hands, then asked. See, in the book, Type actually grabs Tharn's hand. This tells us that it wasn't a gay thing, it was a touch thing.

The communication is getting so much better. Tharn tells him, "if you remove the sex part, aren't I just a friend." "I hate when you call me wifey." Tharn immediately understand that Type just isn't able to, yes we are friends. He understands that this is Type's way of saying, yes okay, but don't call me this. Tharn understand Type. Book excerpt: Type's fear made Tharn worried. At this time, Tharn can see clearly, Type was afraid to love him.

Type invites Tharn to eat with him in the Cafeteria, and you see the excitement in Tharn. This is a huge step. It says, Type really does see him as a friend. Book excerpt: Since they went to buy sheets that day, Type's attitude has been much softer, but he didn't expect him to be softer enough to ask him to have breakfast together. Now Type's book excerpt: It wasn't until finally, after eliminating some subjective prejudices, that he finally felt that it was true he really hurt Tharn's hearts in many things. Well, although he hates gay from the bottom of his heart, if he lies, he will go to hell! He swore that he always regarded Tharn as a friend. Sometimes he said words that were serious and hurt others because it reminds him of the shadow of the shadow of his past. But then, Ai’Tharn didn't hurt his heart... But also helped him many times. The only idea left at this point is that… He suddenly didn't want to hear Ai’Tharn say he was hurt. This is a victim finally pushing past their all consuming hate. Finding a reason to let it go, and this is when the victim grows into a survivor.

The breakfast scene is everything to me. When I say that, this show means the world to me. This is why. When I say I relate to Type, this is why. For me, this is special because it's such an accurate portrayal. It's actually hurtful to hear some of the comments about Type, never mind that there might be truth. But those comments are directed at me, even if I wasn't the intended target. Because Type is us when we go into our cocoon with our hate and fester, but he is also us when we turn into a Butterfly.

The bar date. Everything going well, lots of communication. Then one of the bar owners comes. Notice that Type this time doesn't get upset. He's nervous with her, but there is no anger. Well, not till Tharn comes back and we see a tiny bit of jealousy.

Then the kiss, which is visually stunning. The chemistry is felt through the screen. Book excerpt: When his soft lips were covered, Type sat there at a loss. It's just a kiss. It won't cause any harm. But the soft touch made his heart beat very hard. Second kiss For this kiss, Type's heart was still guilty. It's all alcohol fault, which made him sit still like this. He used to be very confident that he will just restrain things at sleeping together and had the chance to be an ordinary friend. Now, he has to ask himself again… He and Tharn, are they really just friends?

It's too much too fast for Type. It took him this long to get here, but for Tharn he feels rejected.

I really do like Type and Techno's friendship. It is a true friendship. When Techno says, but I really want you to play. Type looks at him to decide if he is serious and, seeing that he is, relents. Even though Techno puts in humor about being the captain. There is no doubt now that Type will stay on the team. Type is a lot of things, but he is a loyal friend. You especially see this in Techno's story.

Tharn is purposely giving Type the silent treatment, just to see if he cares at all. Which is causing Type to lose his shit because he cares. Type does everything he can think, but Tharn is holding cold because he needs to know there really is hope. Which Type gives when he kisses him. Then Tharn lets slip what he was doing. Which upsets Type, but then he listens to Tharn and understand that he was really upset. Type has wrestled a lot of demons, but he isn't there yet. I know that's difficult for a lot of people. But thinking of it like this. Type had an infected wound. It took a long time to fester to infection and though he got medication and bandage now, it's still going to take a little longer to reach the point of healing.

Emotional damage can be every bit as damaging as physical and as a human race, we need to start respecting that. Not pushing people to heal when they have a deep ass wound. Some emotional hurts equal to a paper cut, but not the traumatic kind. And it will take more than a magic dick to work his way through it. Excerpt: He admits that he likes sleeping with Tharn, asking him to go shopping or eat with him, which he doesn't think is strange, but there is always a voice in his mind to remind him that he is a boy.

Type suddenly felt satisfied. He could not help turning his head to look at those affectionate and focused brown eyes, but he shut his eyes and turned his head quickly and when he opened his eyes, he felt that he was about to be seen through, and he was a little scared.

The kiss on the foot. It's not less romantic. Maybe even more so because it says, would a casual lover do this?

Once again, Techno is the neutralizer, speaking out the truth. Type says he still hates gays, but he doesn't hate Tharn. We see Tharn smile. Because Tharn see's the butterfly that's trying to break free from the cocoon to fly. And honestly, that's everything. Tharn seeing past all the defenses. Seeing the devoted friend and caring person beneath.

And so Type begins to wonder if he can escape his attraction to Tharn. I know this makes Type look like a jerk, and he is, but let me try to explain. Sometimes when you start a relationship it's nonstop triggers, and Type has been constantly triggers for a period of time now. So much fight or flight and very little normalcy. Even though he cares for Tharn and he appreciates him. Is it really surprising that a part of him wants to run from the triggers?

That's it for this episode. Hope you guys are still enjoying it. 💜💜💜 This post is dedicated to @rinkitsune and @pose4photoml

#tharntype #tharntype series #luta talks tharntype #thai bl series

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