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marxism-leninism-utenaism · 1 year

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(Ed Ongweso Jr’s discussion of that stable diffusion lawsuit annotation that was going around is really interesting. the whole thing is here but relevant excerpt below the cut.)

One of my favorite projects last year was an annotated version of NYT columnist Kevin Roose’s "The Latecomer's Guide to Crypto" that sought to correct what amounted to be "a thinly-veiled advertisement for cryptocurrency that appeared to have received little in the way of fact-checking or critical editorial scrutiny." It was a pretty clear, persuasive, and effective rebuttal of many key points and narratives invoked by Roose that was threatening to be uncritically repeated and adopted en masse. So imagine my surprise when someone shared with me a project (“Stable Diffusion Frivolous”) following the same angle, but in defense of what promises to be one of this year’s hype tech products: “AI art.”

Some background: On January 13, a class-action lawsuit was filed against Stability AI and MidJourney, along with art platform DeviantArt for their use of Stable Diffusion.

Stability AI and MidJourney style themselves as AI art generators, meaning they use Stable Diffusion to take pre-existing creative work, use those works as training data for neural networks, and generate derivatives. In this lawsuit, it's alleged some five billion images were taken without the artist's consent and essentially remixed, amounting to a massive violation of copyright law for millions of artists.

"At minimum, Stable Diffusion’s ability to flood the market with an essentially unlimited number of infringing images will inflict permanent damage on the market for art and artists," the lawsuit announcement reads.

The annotations themselves aren't particularly interesting or well-argued, obsessing over technical details instead of fundamental questions. Consider the invocation of Jevon's paradox, an economic observation that when the efficiency of a resource's consumption is increased, its demand will increase. The annotations look at aluminum—once a precious metal that Napoleon used for silverware and the Washington Monument used as a luxurious capstone, but now is ubiquitous because it costs $2/kg.

AI art tools increase efficiency, yes. Contrary to myth, they rarely produce professional-quality outputs in one step, but combined into a workflow with a human artist they yield professional results in much less time than manual work. But that does not inherently mean a corresponding decrease in the size of the market, because as prices to complete projects drop due to the decreased time required, more people will pay for projects that they otherwise could not have afforded. Custom graphics for a car or building. An indie video game. A Mural for one's living room. All across the market, new sectors will be priced into the market that were previously priced out.

There are two things to address here. First: the economics rant is not relevant to the lawsuit, which is asking whether you are violating copyright law when you use unlicensed images as training data for AI art tools. Most of the annotations work like this, pursuing tangents or quibbling on points that are ultimately concerned with markets and efficiency, not the legal question. Opponents are dismissed as “whittlers mad at power tools” and complaints are fielded that a system that did ask for consent would be technically difficult to build.

Second: it is not immediately clear why expanding art markets and increasing artist productivity is a desirable path forward. This was, after all, more or less the core thrust of many pro-NFT arguments over the past two years: sure, NFTs won’t help you make more art but they will allow you to do more with your art—speculation, secondary markets to trade fractional shares, experiences, targeted benefits, social clubs, etc. Individually creating all of those things would be tedious and cumbersome, but simply throwing your art onto the blockchain could outsource some of that work to zealous fans and communities would create more markets, more revenue streams, and more opportunities for additional art to be created by yourself or them.

NFTs, however, quickly proved themselves to be a disaster. They created markets rife with fraud, outright theft, half-baked ideas and implementation, vaporware, and creative attempts to generate excess returns through speculation. There is a tendency to insist AI and crypto will help all artists, but experience suggests that recklessly rolling out these digital technologies to develop new markets tends to largely benefit con artists.

There is also a third point, a secret point, which is both and neither of the previous. Why is anyone pretending that what these AIs are creating is art? The other day, someone sent Nick Cave lyrics generated by ChatGPT in the style of his music and he wrote a furious blog post that was incredibly perceptive when it came to the question of what art is and why AI isn’t doing it.

Songs arise out of suffering, by which I mean they are predicated upon the complex, internal human struggle of creation and, well, as far as I know, algorithms don’t feel. Data doesn’t suffer. ChatGPT has no inner being, it has been nowhere, it has endured nothing, it has not had the audacity to reach beyond its limitations, and hence it doesn’t have the capacity for a shared transcendent experience, as it has no limitations from which to transcend. ChatGPT’s melancholy role is that it is destined to imitate and can never have an authentic human experience, no matter how devalued and inconsequential the human experience may in time become.

The core reason to object to AI art isn’t simply the legal question of licensing or the debates over how artists should make a living, but the fact that this is another front in the war waged by market zealots on life experienced outside of markets. In a bid to quantify the value of everything so that it can then be turned into an asset, its transaction costs made transparent, its production optimized, and its innovation ensured, market fundamentalists have created caricatures of how human minds, social networks, and communities are formed. They’re not interested in creativity, let alone any sublime element of what it means to be a human being―unless it can be linked back to a market. That’s a pretty depressing and increasingly dominant viewpoint of the world which shouldn’t be given any room to breathe.

So at the end of it all, this is an interesting document to read if only because it teases the shape of arguments to come as techno-optimists, venture capitalists, and market zealots reposition themselves to insist AI art is a net good. Advocates will avoid the central legal question (should you get paid for your work being used by a neural network to make similar work), and insist on reframing artists as workers who must produce more for less instead of creatives who should be provided a livelihood independent of demand for their work and spin new markets for speculation and commodification as opportunities for more ambitious artistic endeavors.

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sweetswesf · 10 months

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Hey hey, y’all.

I’m mad Tumblr STILL hasn’t responded to any of my support tickets to get my messaging back. As an engineer, I am criticizing the app in a different way than most lol. There’s a lot of cool things with the UI, but the way you can’t separate primary & secondary blogs, some of the playback, the slow or no responses on support tickets is kinda getting to me. I didn’t think it’d frustrate me this much, but it does…Maybe it was protection…

I made a lot of progress last week. I feel like I am making strides and getting stronger with concepts. I had 2 onsites and a practice technical and I felt I did pretty good in all of them. Rejected from one in less than 24 hours, but that 1 involved a lot of semi negative back & forth with the recruiters for over a month, so I felt the decision was made before I even did the interview.

I was exhausted, but felt like I was detaching from the pain of things and just telling myself get through it. Even in my workouts. My body was tired but it felt like it was moving without my mind. I know it’s only God…I spent less time on social media, I spent less time procrastinating, and I can get through most 12 hour days without needing a nap. I am completely wiped out on my break days (Sundays) and take 4 hour naps then lol but I remember a time during my early months of being laid off where I couldn’t get through the day without a 3 hour nap.

I am about done with the sections of the API YouTube course I want to go over. It is a really good course and it’s at a good level of detail I need. I was familiar with the material, but this was good to solidify understanding of certain concepts. I think I have like one more day left that I’d like to spend on it for prep for my interviews. A lot of things make a lot more sense. I wanted to get past it so that I can focus more on system design and algos, but it was necessary to go over. I’m trying to balance learning quite a bit of topics: system design, APIs, DS&A, OOP, behavioral questions.

For you that have been commenting on my posts encouraging me, especially @mythgrippa-blog & @tenaciousdeveloper, I want to send a particular word of appreciation. Whenever I get a bit discouraged, I remember your comments, so thank you so much.

I even caught a butterfly by its wings! I’ve always wanted to do that, but I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. I won’t forget how surprisingly strong it was wriggling to get free. I quickly released it when I realized I could be hurting it’s wings! I’m sure I did though and the thought makes me sick. I never meant to hurt it. These are sentient beings. There was no need for me to do that. I didn’t realize I would hurt it before I did it. I was on break from an on-site, feeling good, listening to this song, and intrusive thoughts took over.

youtube

It flew away fine, but still…I’m sure I damaged the wings just by touching it. I felt a similar guilt when I thought my car would clear and not hit this cat that was laying in the middle of the street. It didn’t and I killed a little collar-less white kitten 😔. This was almost a decade ago. I don’t even own a car anymore but I still think about it & feel guilty.

I took a Cruise autonomous car ride. That was my 3rd time in an autonomous car ride, but 1st one by Cruise. After it, I was inspired. This is the type of things that drew me to tech in the 1st place…

School loans start accruing interest again at the end of this month, and I would like to pay those off. I haven’t looked into deferring my payments because I’m hoping I can pay them off before needing that option. It is humbling to go from having a lot of autonomy with spending to relying on government assistance. Life comes at you fast…I can’t judge anyone. I do, but I shouldn’t and I try not to. I am reminded everyday, with every new experience or challenge, that you truly don’t know what people are facing or what the heck you would do if in a similar scenario. Ideas & history are different from reality.

Pastor at church today said, “You think you have strong faith until something happens that tests it,” and I related hard. I reflect on everything. Sometimes I just sit and stare like, “I’m tired and I’m ready for a different reality.”

My mom comes at the start of September too, and I would like to fully enjoy that with her with my dream job. I will enjoy it regardless though.

I order from DoorDash less, to save money, and also, because there’s not that many options that are healthy, and regardless if the meal is healthy or not, I’ve had it so many times that I’d rather just try to make a replica of my own if I have time. Some things I just can’t replicate, but I do like that I’m empowering myself to have some control over that. I’m often negotiating between saving money and saving time when it comes to this food stuff.

Also, food at this point is one of the only break aways from work that I’m allowing myself to enjoy right now. A LOT of my community has left the city or don’t reach out despite my efforts of trying to maintain the relationship. I don’t want to forge new ones right now, because the emotional and financial investment is… a lot right now. Anytime you want free time outside these days, you end up spending like $50 at minimum! I also feel like I need to find someone to help on Sundays. Sundays are for rest though, and so far, I’ve taken up the whole day washing my hair, going to church, grocery shopping, cooking, eating, napping for 3 or 4 hours, reflecting, and YouTube video watching. I don’t study, I don’t do any chores, and I don’t even like cooking those days. I appreciate my Sundays for what they are for: rest.

A few people close to me asked me again this week if I wanted to keep doing this and I was audibly annoyed. They don’t think I’ve made success in the way I should, but they don’t know much about the industry or how things typically go on this side. They also don’t know my plan. They don’t have to, but it does because it kind of feels they don’t believe in my abilities. I don’t want to be struggling forever, but I don’t think I should give up. I want to do this. I mean, I even get the question a lot in interviews. Like, I transitioned about 3 years ago. Why are you still asking me why I transitioned? You’re wasting time when you could be asking me about my qualifications for this role. I’m sure non-career-transitioners (people with traditional backgrounds) don’t get asked why they chose that field. Does it matter WHY I’ve chosen it if I’ve been gainfully employed in it for years and am applying to keep doing it? It shouldn’t. This question is totally valid outside of interviews. I appreciate answering it then. It just feels invasive when asked in interviews. I could see if I was fresh out of my old career, but I’ve been working as a full time software engineer for more than 3. It almost feels like, “well duh!” at this point when it comes to choosing tech. Look around you. Why not?! EVERY industry damn there has been elevated and can’t survive without tech. It’s really hard to cover your basic needs and a lot people on a 6-figure salary are living paycheck to paycheck given how outrageous rent is. At least tech gives you a fighting chance. Look at me! A tech worker still with debt who’s now had to rely on government assistance…It feels similar to interviewers asking why I majored in something. It doesn’t matter at all when you should be looking at the work I’ve done for money.

It was recommended, and I agreed, that I should stop interviewing with startups and start interviewing with companies I would like to work at, so I’m doing that soon. I feel a bit impatient and when I do, I try to refocus and remind myself that I shouldn’t give up and potentially blow the progress made thus far (another word of encouragement from y’all reading, so thank you!). I just need to keep going, stop feeling rushed, be fearless, be strategic, have confidence, and know that God will give me something great in due time that’s fit for me that exceeds my expectations.

I’m grateful for vision, dexterity, my mental health, my education, having hot water, still being able to afford a gym membership and to never go hungry. To spend on organic groceries. I also still have quite a bit of savings. I didn’t realize but my high yield savings account has been kicking me back about the amount of a week’s worth of meals & groceries every month. Praise God. I also am still able to tithe and be generous to people who need help during this time.

The things that I wanted months and even weeks ago, like purses, shoes, etc. all seem so frivolous now. Thousands on these things? I’ve never spent that much on purses & shoes. I’ve never been that girl, but I HAVE bought a lot of excess before, or bought things, albeit cheap, that I thought I would use one day. I even imagined that once I get a job, I would treat myself on one of those $1k+ purses, just because I’m a 30 and never have bought anything designer. Now, I don’t even care about taking a vacation. I just want to wake up employed. I WILL take a vacation, but I don’t mind just visiting something local. I miss NYC like crazy! I’ve always wanted to visit Atlanta (my 1st visit was at night and was too short, I had to drive back to Nashville in the morning). Those purses and shoes are still NICE but, I don’t HAVE to have them like I once felt…Imma still treat myself, but the treats won’t be as extravagant/often/out of my honest price range.

Fashion blogs seem so DUMB to me now. The THOUSANDS people will pay and still be in debt or not own any assets seems CRAZY now. But it took this to open my eyes. I’ve been unemployed before when I was fresh out of bootcamp, and I went into super frugal mode, and promised myself to maintain those habits. I did a lot, but still made dumb decisions after I got employed again. Freeing myself from want this time around, I hope it sticks.

There were days this week where I woke up wanting to contact a particular dude from my past. Just thirsty and lonely and craving a hug. I kept saying, “I just want a hug.” It’s really just me. Day in & day out. Friends & family only call. Everyone close to me I have to talk to virtually through a screen/over the phone. It gets to me…someone will love me hard and give me the affection I crave one day. I need to rely on God’s love though and remember not to put too much dependence on people, but it’s okay to want a partner. God honors marriage and says a spouse is to supply the other’s needs for affection. Not one way: this is for both partners.

I’m grateful for everything this time has taught me and I don’t know if I would have learned it without this. I shun fear of not getting what I want. I refuse to believe that my efforts will go unrewarded. I chase away the devil that made me believe I was less than. In the meeting with my mentor last week, he said, “I’m going to be candid: the team did NOT like that you were let go. We all felt that you had made so much progress and we actually had a rant session about it.” That almost made me cry, because I felt like the weakest link on the team at that time, but to know that people respected my work and felt like great things were coming for me, confirmed my suspicions too that I KNEW things were looking up. I had finally felt comfortable, and then it felt like my progress was stopped. But I know, and I knew even when I got laid off, even without my next position, it wasn’t a mistake. God tends to shift things when you’re feeling comfortable. He’s trying to elevate me. I will be in a higher position my next role, potentially making more than double what I was. More than what I could have gotten if I stayed. I don’t fear getting let go as much anymore because I know how to do these algos, or, I know where I can go to refresh my understandings of them. I lived in fear before this and couldn’t truly enjoy anything because I knew there was a huge hole in my understanding of things in the interview & my career that I felt I didn’t have the time to learn. Nothing is by mistake and I’m grateful to Him. Amen!

I hope y’all are well too. Be blessed <3

#software engineering #san francisco #python #silicon valley #coding #women in tech #black in tech #black women in tech #codeblr #beyonce #the carters

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joicthestoic · 1 year

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Paladins x D&D 2

Makoa

Makoa, everyone’s favorite big tortoise tank with an ankor. Nobody dares challenge Makoa. So let’s ask the question, what would Makoa be in a D&D context.

Once again, I’m gonna go ahead and say race is pretty easy to guess here. Obviously, being a big tanky tortoise, he would be a Tortle, despite his he technically is a deity of sorts. Since he is said to be a “turtle deity” (despite not being a turtle since he has legs for land) he would likely be some sort of divine being. The classes most befitting of Makoa would be either Paladin, Barbarian or Druid. I’ll go into detail about it later in the post, and he might end up multiclassing.

Tortles do not have subraces, so he would be a regular Tortle so we can remain RAW with this. Even so, I should point out that Shell Defense is not his shield ability, as in D&D it does not summon a big shield around him. However, he would likely use it when using Shell Spin. Makoa being 108 (at least) is a bit troubling since Tortles only live up to 50, but we can mark this down as him being some sort of deity.

Next, his class, he first needs access to his Shell Shield, and since neither Paladins nor Druids have any of the necessary spells, we have to get creative. Because of its round shape, Globe of Invulnerability and Wall of Force are the only options. Since neither Druids or Paladins have this spell by default, we must turn to Barbarian, picking the Ancestral Guardian subclass at level 3 and going up to level 6 for the Spirit Shield. Technically it reduces damage, but in this case we’re assuming it nullifies all damage. Next, the Dredge Ancor must be some sort of magic item. We’ll be using the SRD and use the Dragon Hook, which will allow to grapple and pull the opponent, as well as being used for melee combat with the ult. Like with Barik, we’re ignoring the main weapon, in this case his cannon, because of them being built on the Paladins universe’s materials and therefore not having much options for D&D equivalents. Lastly, the question remains. YOU CHALLENGE MAKOA?! His Ancient Rage will not just be a simple Barbarian rage, though it will function with the rage abilities. First we increase our Barbarian level to 9 for Brutal Critical, which will explain the high damage chance. We’ll take 3 levels into Paladin, with an Oath of the Ancients so that you have access to Divine Smite, and you can use Channel Divinity: Turn the Faithless which is simply there for flavor of when you utter the phrase “You challenge Makoa?!” they will be affected.

Now I had thought Makoa would be a higher level, considering he’s a deity and all. While his pure damage potential with this build might be much higher than Barok, he can only ult once considering the rules of D&D. Still, he would only need to be a 12th level Barbaladin to have all of his abilities, with 9 levels in Ancestral Guardian Barbarian and 3 in Ancients Paladin. I did mention Druid earlier, but after looking through their spell list, I found nothing that would help them get a more accurate Makoa. So, with that being said, Makoa build fresh for the taking. Let me know what you think and feel free to yell at me for using an SRD magic item. If you feel you have some better alternatives to abilities or weapons, let me know, I’d love to hear back from anyone who reads through these. Have a lovely day lads.

#paladins #paladins champions of the realm #makoa #paladins makoa #d&d #d&d build #character build #build #for fun #discussion #fantasy

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tarobytez · 3 years

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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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your-brilliant-lady-m · 3 years

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Part 4 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Glamour

You can call it however you want: kid's show logic, superhero disguise logic, magical girl show logic, cartoon laws, suspension of disbelief, etc. But the fact that nobody recognises Marinette, Adrien and others when they are suited up IS NOT BAD WRITING. It's one of the main laws of this genre. That's not because characters are stupid, okay? So, being frustrated that everyone in the show acts stupid about this "wearing a mask that covers only eyes" trope is strange. This criticism is not valid or fair.

But, this trope has to make sense in-universe as a worldbuilding and narrative element.

Miraculous doesn't give us much direct information on how glamour works. And in this case, I think we need both SHOW and TELL. Because if you don't establish the glamour rules clearly, you are going to run into problems and create unfortunate implications with your storytelling choices.

Appearance

Miraculous obviously gives our heroes magical glamour. In "Lady WiFi" we find out that masks can't be taken off. It's magic. No other explanation is needed.

Miraculous can slightly change the appearance of users (eyes, face shape, height and hairstyles). People can identify and notice the hairstyles of heroes (numerous Ladybug wigs, statue in Copycat). Jagged Stone points out the change of hair when he mistakes Chloe for Ladybug ("Antibug"). But it's just a costume. There is no magic that prevents Jagged from understanding that Chloe isn't Ladybug. So, how does it work? But it's forgivable because it's cartoon logic. Suspension of disbelief works here, I suppose. I won't judge this too harshly.

Glamour also obviously prevents people from making a connection that Marinette and Ladybug have identical hairstyles. So people know that Ladybug wears her hair in pigtails, but magic does not allow them to notice similarities.

Another important question. Does glamour work on Kwamis? Can they see who is behind the mask?

New York Special makes it clear that magic does not affect robots and they can see through glamour. Does that mean that Markov, AI built by Max, knows the identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir? And it's never addressed.

Plagg in "Frightningale" says that holders can subconsciously choose their superhero appearance. This is actually pretty interesting and I like this idea a lot. Except the show is not consistent with this. The transformation of Master Fu looks identical to Nathalie's. And we have seen how different from each other Ladybug and Black Cat holders looked in the past. At the same time, Master Fu and Nino have different takes on Turtle superhero suit.

Age Glamour

Does age glamour exist? Do people see Ladybug, Chat Noir and other heroes as adults even when they look like teenagers to the audience (their height and build are smaller even when they are transformed)? Is that why no one ever questions the fact that children nearly die on a daily basis?

I mentioned unfortunate implications earlier. Well, this is where they come into play. Let's talk about "Copycat". A lot of people discussed it before me, so I won't bore you with details.

When I watched "Copycat" for the first time Theo's crush on Ladybug didn't bother me, because I thought that he sees Ladybug as his peer, a girl who is about 20-23 years old. Theo is an artist, his character design is that of an adult. He has his own studio, its appearance indicates that he did serious commissions in the past. The guy has no idea that Ladybug is like 13.

But then we get "Heroes' Day" and "Ladybug". And Hawkmoth calls them "kids", which means that there is no age glamour. Others see Ladybug and Chat Noir as teenagers. Perhaps, other Miraculous users aren't affected by age glamour. Therefore regular people see all heroes as adults but other heroes are able to guess their age more or less correctly. But you must spell this thing out because the audience can interpret "Copycat" differently. If there is no age glamour, then Theo is crushing on a teenage girl and he is fully aware of this fact. And this doesn't look good for your show.

The "No Age Glamour" theory is further confirmed in "Sapotis" where Alya just straight up analyses voice recordings and says that Ladybug is a girl their age. If glamour exists then it should also cover technology. Kwami can't be photographed. Face and voice recognition software shouldn't be able to analyse transformed superheroes and detect their identities in any way.

Besides, after "Sapotis" Alya should definitely be sure that Ladybug is not 5000 years old (also not an adult), especially after she wore Miraculous herself and was one door away from detransformed Ladybug.

SEASON 4 UPDATE! There's no age glamour after all.

In "Furious Fu" Su Han calls Chat Noir a child without knowing his identity. It means that everyone knows their superheroes are teenagers. "Copycat" can't be saved from that, uh, subtext anymore. No one questions the danger of their job or the balance of their lives outside of the mask. No one doubts their competence after "Origins" ever again. No one becomes annoyed after being bossed around by two teenagers in spandex. You had many opportunities to drop these details into the narrative. Someone could have been akumatized over this (I will not be ordered around by some magical kids!).

I don't know why writers decided not to use at least this idea and slightly adjust "Copycat" if they got rid of the age glamour completely. It can be explained as kid's show logic, but unfortunately, I'm reluctant to do it. If many characters sympathise with akuma victims on-screen, why not with the teenage superheroes who must fight them?

New York Special had this weird focus on collateral damage out of nowhere (the damage done by sentimonster Robostus) and yet it has 0 effect on the main story. No one in Paris is pissed that their 2 teenage protectors weren't there.

Ironically, "Furious Fu" and that one remark made by Su Han also created unfortunate implications for other moments in the show. Just hear me out. Apparently, Jagged Stone wrote a "thank you" song for Ladybug knowing that she is 13-15 year old child back in "Pixelator". Fandom is more than happy to roast Lila for lying about saving Jagged Stone's cat and him writing her a "thank you" song. Fandom claims that Lila's tale could harm Jagged's reputation, when he wrote a song for teenage Ladybug several weeks prior. Meanwhile, in-universe this lie is 100% believable.

If we put on "realism glasses", then both this whole song situation and Theo's crush in "Copycat" have uncomfortable implications. However, the show's canon can't be viewed and criticised through "realism glasses". I admit that bits and pieces of my criticisms are affected by these "glasses", but, ultimately, I'm trying to be fair and concentrate only on things that can't be justified by "cartoon logic and worldbuilding".

Could the existence of age glamour solve this problem of unfortunate implications and other concerns mentioned above? YES. Is it better for the narrative? YES. Is essential for the story? NOT QUITE. Could the absence of age glamour be called an irredeemable storytelling flaw? NO.

Disclaimer: On a side note, only older audience can notice these implications. Children, the target audience, most likely won't understand this subtext simply because they don't have enough experience. So, perhaps, this criticism is unfair, because these moments only look weird to me as an adult. It's like an adult joke in a cartoon that you don't get until you reach a certain age.

There's nothing technically wrong with adult writing a "thank you" song for a teenager. It's just an expression of gratitude. However, unfortunately, we live in a world, where adults normally wouldn't write songs for teens to express gratitude only. In real life similar actions would imply pedophilia and would be actively scorned by the public. No one would risk their reputation like that even if their intentions were genuinely pure and sincere. But this show can't be viewed through "realism glasses", because it's a cartoon and in certain cases we as the audience must use suspension of disbelief and pretend that certain things are possible for plot to happen.

Su Han also wants to give Ladybug and Black Cat to adults. Why didn't Master Fu do this then? Writers don't give us any explanation. Throughout the show we never question this up until the moment it's revealed that adults don't have time-limited powers. Then comes "Furious Fu". Story suddenly becomes self-aware here. Because apparently nothing prevented Fu from giving the most powerful Miraculous to adults who won't have time limit and will be more effective against Hawkmoth (see part 3 for more details).

I have a very good example of Age Glamour done right. It works in the story. There is no confusion or unfortunate implications. There is like one plothole connected to the glamour (it's been years and I still can't forgive them for Cornelia and Caleb) but otherwise, it's a pretty solid example of both show and tell. Clearly, writers wanted to avoid uncomfortable implications which are present in "Copycat". I am talking about W.I.T.C.H. comic books and animated series.

If you are not familiar with it, I'll give you a brief explanation. The story follows 5 girls, the Guardians of Kandrakar who are chosen to protect their world and parallel ones from evil. They receive magical powers from the amulet known as the Heart of Kandrakar. Their powers are based on elements: fire, water, earth, air and energy. Our main characters are about 13-15 years old. In the animated series they are younger and they attend middle school, making them 12-14 years old. But the transformation makes them look 18-20. They look like young women to each other and to other people. At the same time, people can recognise them, their looks and voice don't change. Most people don't know that they are really teenagers when they are not transformed and these people don't know that magic can make them look older. That's why everyone treats Guardians like adults when they are transformed. Comics establish this fact in the very beginning. In first issues characters state that they look older, we are also shown this multiple times.

In fact, one of the first side plots revolves around the fact that Irma uses her powers to sneak into the disco club to meet up with her crush. Irma is 13 at the beginning of the series, she is a high school freshman. Her crush, Andrew Hornby is a senior guy 17-18 years old. Irma has liked him for a long time and wants to impress him, so she decides to be clever about this. She transforms into her Guardian form of the 18-year-old girl, hides her wings, sneaks out to the club after her parents are asleep without any problem, and meets Andrew, who obviously doesn't recognise Irma in this girl who looks about his age. Smitten Andrew offers her a ride and 13-year-old Irma doesn't understand the implication of that offer, so she accepts. And, obviously, he decides that she is interested in more than just a ride home, since she agreed, and the comic implies that he fully intended for them to have sex in the backseat of his car. But Irma understands the implication only when Andrew tries to kiss her. She panics and turns him into a frog. And she actually pulls this "I need to look mature" trick more than once over the course of the series.

It's not the only situation where this age difference is handled well and makes sense. People who know the main characters in everyday life remark on their older appearance during transformation. Sometimes people flirt with Guardians when they are transformed. In one of the side-novels centred around Cornelia, she is worried that the prince of the realm they helped to save from famine would try to marry her. That never happens, but Cornelia actually brainstorms with her friends about how to tell the prince that she is really 15.

There are many other plot points where this happens, but I think that you got the idea. I really like how "Age Glamour" was handled in W.I.T.C.H.

How do we fix this? Create the situations where people offhandedly mention "Age Glamour" in the presence of Marinette or Adrien, use Kwami for this.

"Don't worry, dear. Chat Noir and Ladybug are adults, who know what they are doing. I am sure that they will handle this. "

Theo could say: "Oh, I wonder which university Ladybug goes to?"

"So, does that mean that other people see us as grown-ups, Tikki?"

A few words and boom, problem solved. Then allow the "show don't tell" rule do the rest.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous analysis #miraculous meta #ml meta #ml analysis #miraculous transformations #miraculous critical #miraculous ladybug critical #miraculous glamour #superhero glamour #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Better Man. ( Taehyung x Oc)

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 ~ Its okay to want something to end and also be sad that its ending.

With infidelity, its never black and white.

There’s different kinds of infidelity and you can’t ever say which is worse. That depends entirely on the people involved and the values they hold dear. What may be a small indiscretion to someone, may well be an unforgivable act of betrayal to someone else.

And that’s fine. People aren’t one dimensional. We can’t all have the same perspective.

So infidelity is also never one dimensional.

Sometimes its a one night stand. Something done and forgotten. Discarded from the mind like the used condom in the motel room floor.

Sometimes its a dear friend who betrays you, your best friend who apparently always had a thing for your husband and felt perfectly fine making a move on him. That one stings . Because you lose two people. Two very important people at the same time.

Sometimes its a coworker, someone who stays by their side majority of the day. Who offers a sympathetic ear when your husband wants to relax.

Sometimes men just fall out of love and are too much of a coward to say it out loud, opting to cheat on you instead.

Sometimes, they are jealous, of your career, of your kid, or your friends. Too lazy to win your affection they go find satisfaction in some one else’s bed.

Sometimes it never even gets physical. Sometimes its just someone catfishing your husband or sending him nudes.

And sometimes, its an emotional connection. They actually fall deeply in love with someone else and I think, for most women, that would be the one that would sting the most.

With Taehyung, it had been a night of drinking. He had had one drink too many, had tumbled into bed with some trainee a decade younger and had broken our marriage vows.

Not really a very thought out or planned mistake. He hadn’t cheated with the intent to cheat. He had just been too drunk to know better.

So, why did I leave him?

Because it hadn’t been about the cheating.

It had been the drinking.

When we first met, Taehyung couldn’t hold his liquor. Not that it mattered because he didn’t like it all that much. Didn’t mind sipping juice when other’s nursed beers.

But as he grew older, as he grew more successful, he had started accepting drinks from producers and directors and fellow actors... Because, it was rude not to and Kim Taehyung was nothing if not the personification of politeness.

His tolerance hadn’t increased but his drinking had and that was a bad combo.

:”You need to stop doing this Tae. You can’t just come home black out drunk, every time you have an after party.... You’re going to hurt yourself or god forbid someone else... some day and I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to wreck your entire life over a stupid drink....”

It was a speech I had made way too many times. The words recycled and reframed, and rearranged to try and give them more weight , to help him realize how serious the issue was. To help him understand that what he was risking, it wasn’t just his reputation. It was his entire career, his life if he somehow got behind a wheel someday.

And Taehyung, who had won a bunch of Daesangs for his acting always convinced me that he understood what I was trying to say. That he understood the magnitude of my words and would heed them the next time.

So really, what people didn’t understand was that....

That evening, when he stood in front of me and said that he slept with another woman because he got drunk out of his mind, it wasn’t the sleeping with the girl that had bothered me. ( at least not that much. it hurt of course but it wasn’t that strong. it stemmed more from a place of “why didn’t you just ask someone to drive you home, you idiot.”.. rather than, “ how dare you sleep with another woman?” )

It was the got drunk out of my mind thing.

That was what I ended my marriage over.

That was it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The details were hashed out easily and I didn’t particularly protest or change anything. Taehyung suggested an equal division of assets and I quickly disagreed. I wasn’t exactly poor. I worked as the Head of Marketing in a successful conglomerate. I had no use for excessive amounts of money. After some debate we agreed on setting up a trust fund for Hoshi with the money. He could use it after he turned twenty five.

And then came the next part.

Compensation for physical / Mental Damage.

I felt like i was spiraling.

“None On my side. None.” Taehyung said quickly and I swallowed.

Ms Lee gave me an encouraging smile.

“You can be honest Mrs Kim. We’re trying to go for a clean break between the two of you without any resentment carrying over. So its best to be honest. If you feel you need recompense for any emotional distress or abuse Mr. Kim may have put you through, you’re free to tell me. I’ll make sure it goes into record.”

And this was why I hated the idea of getting divorce.

That entire dialogue had sounded so...so... terrible. So accusatory and ugly. It wasn’t at all the way I felt about my husband.

It was just hurt. Plain and simple hurt because he didn’t take me seriously. Because he didn’t think my words were worth listening to. It was hurt laced with fear because he was putting himself in danger with his reckless actions and I wanted him to stop. That’s all it was.

It was hurt.

Taehyung had hurt me but it wasn’t emotional distress. It sure as hell hadn’t been abuse.

“None for me either.” I said firmly, honest .

I glanced at my husband, trying to tell him that I wasn’t just saying it. That it was true. I really didn’t want him to pay me money for what had happened.

But, Taehyung wouldn’t meet my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung signed over full custody of Hoshi with a smile.

“I trust you. “ He said quietly, penning his initials carefully on the document.

I nodded, feeling a little like drowning.

We had a very comfortable way of doing things as far as our son was concerned. Taehyung got Hoshi anytime he had time off and also on weekends.

With a very shifting schedule it was hard for Taehyung to pin down exact dates so we had long decided we would make things easier for each other. He would call me a day or so in advance and i would drop him off at Taehyung’s penthouse or the company. Special days like birthdays were always celebrated in a neutral place with both parties attending.

Hoshi loved it because it was a pleasant surprise for him, when his dad swooped in out of nowhere and took him off to amusement parks or arcades or swimming. He loved Taehyung .

So the visitation rights were easy to sketch out.

It was nothing new but to have it all put down on paper and initialed and notarized....it just felt invasive. Some judge somewhere would read all about how my marriage had crumbled to ashes and would pass judgment on me and that just felt odd.

Like airing your dirty laundry. Like letting strangers into your bedroom.

And the worst part was this : I felt myself getting upset , anytime Ms. Lee gave the slightest negative connotation to Taehyung’s actions or responsibilities. Anytime she tried to imply that he couldn’t be neglectful as a father, I wanted to jump right up and defend him. To tell her that he was a better father than the ones who lived 24/7 with their kids and didn’t know a damn thing about them.

That even as my husband, he had been so good to me. Had treated me like his best friend, his confidante, his lover. Had never shied away from showing me how much he loved me. Had been the best husband in the whole entire world.

And I hated myself for it.

What was wrong with me?

Why was I still so fiercely protective of him, I wondered. I hated the idea of him being criticized by anyone for any of it.

And it made feel like such a hypocrite because if he was so amazing, why on earth were we here??

Why on earth were we getting a divorce if Kim Taehyung was husband and father of the fucking Year?!!

Was I making a mistake? Had I made a mistake?

It confused me. These feelings that just refused to go away. I would never act on them because therein lay the path to misery but why were they still there?

This desperate clawing urge to make sure he came out of this whole debacle as a good guy. To make sure no one would brand him as a cheater . Because they would. When the divorce went public, they would dig things up and they would know.

I didn’t know how I’d gotten to this point where , I could somehow forget everything that was wrong, simply because I wanted to focus on what felt wrong....

Technically I should be happy.

Taehyung did something unpardonable ( for me, at the time. Now I wasn’t so sure. Now I felt like I could forgive him for it but he hadn’t asked for forgiveness. What he’d asked for was a divorce. ) and I left him. We were separated . And now finally we were getting a divorce.

Divorce meant we could finally get out of this no man’s land of uncertainty where we had hung for two whole years and move on, from each other and finally give a label to where we stood. Exes. We were exes. We were done. It was over.

Hadn’t I just yelled about him about how I liked labels?

And yet,

This entire divorce felt so wrong. So unnecessary.

And in a moment of clarity, as I watched Ms Lee read he whole thing over again for our benefit, I realized why it felt wrong.

It felt wrong because Taehyung was the one who wanted it.

Why did Taehyung want it? What had made him want to end it, officially?

Was he seeing someone else? Was he considering seeing someone else? Did he want to start enjoying the single lifestyle again?

Did he finally take a good long look at our marriage and found nothing worth salvaging anymore?

My head ached.

I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over. And yet my heart broke at the thought of it.

Ms Lee finally gathered up all the documents and gave us a wide smile.

“I wish every client I had was this reasonable. You two are a delight .” she shook her head. “ Should we get a drink to celebrate a day well spent?”

I opened my mouth to accept when Taehyung said, “ Sure, but it would have to be a juice for me. I don’t drink.”

I felt my heart take a swoop, nosediving to my knees.

I stared at him, stunned speechless.

“Haven’t had a drink in two years Mia. I’m done with that shit.” He said softly.

I swallowed.

“I didn’t know that.” I felt miserable all of a sudden, the weight of what we had just done pressing down on my heart like a 200 pound stone,

His gaze held mine.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.”

We stood staring at each other in silence and Ms. Lee cleared her throat.

“Uh... I just got a text from my next client. Maybe raincheck on the drinks? “

I nodded , watching her leave. Thank you i wanted to say, but for what?

For ending my marriage of eight fucking years?

And how ridiculous that very thought was. ..... She hadn’t ended our marriage, I had.

“I have the next two days off.” He said casually.

“You can pick Hoshi up from my mom’s place. I need to head back to the office.” I muttered, choking a little on tears that had sprung out of nowhere. .

“Hey.” his fingers closed over my wrists tugging me gently and I let myself get pulled into his arms. I hugged him, feeling my tears soak through the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” I choked out.

He stroked the back of my head gently.

“Me too. “ He pressed a kiss to my hair and it only made me feel worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Tae is 35, OC is 32

#taehyung smut #taehyung fics #taehyung fanfic #taehyung #taehyung fanfics #bts fanfics #bts smut #bts fanfic

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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 3 years

Text

confiding over cuddles

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil, background Roman & Remus. Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Analogical, both pre-relationship and during the relationship. Warnings: Language. First scene has mentions of being outed, religious homophobia, the implication of the f-slur having been used (the actual word is never on the page), and could maybe come across as critical of Christianity although I intend it more as critical of the homophobia. All of this is kept vague and not gone into in great detail. In the second scene, there are a couple of lines that are implied to be suggestive, but no other warnings. Word count: 4657

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Throughout the years, vulnerability has always been easiest for Virgil and Logan while cuddling.

Notes: Day 3 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Yes, I’m posting it a day late, but I technically finished it before midnight last night, lol. Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read. Remus uses he/they pronouns in this universe.

part 1 - nightmares “Virgil?” Logan said quietly, looking up from the textbook he’d spread open on the floor of Virgil’s dorm room.

Virgil flinched, startled in spite of the soft tone and not too eager for conversation. “What?” he mumbled, dragging his headphones off one ear. He wasn’t actually listening to anything—he’d put them on to avoid conversation—but apparently now they were having a conversation anyway.

“I’m sorry if I am overstepping, but you don’t seem like you’re doing okay.” Logan looked up at him with wide, earnest dark brown eyes. “If there is anything I can do to help, I would really like to.”

Virgil heaved a sigh, considering his options. He hadn’t had time to cancel their normal study session, and when Logan had picked up on his distress at the beginning of the visit, Virgil had insisted it was fine and Logan didn’t have to leave. Logan had taken him at his word and settled in, sprawling on Virgil’s floor while Virgil curled up on his bed and hugged his pillow, avoiding homework and everything else too, to wallow about—well. The reason he would have canceled if he’d had five minutes’ more notice.

On the one hand, it was kind of personal, and Logan was a good enough friend (not a crush, not a crush, not a crush—) that he’d certainly be understanding if Virgil said he didn’t want to talk about it.

On the other hand, Logan had offered to help, and the opportunity to seek comfort from a pretty, thoughtful boy with nice hair and eyes and lips and hands and—but this wasn’t a crush, so none of that mattered, obviously—well, regardless, it was a tempting opportunity.

“Can I talk about it?” Virgil asked in a voice that came out smaller and more vulnerable than he intended.

Logan nodded at once, closing his textbook and climbing to his knees. “Is it okay if I come up there?”

Virgil nodded, patted the space on the bed beside himself, and scooted over to make room. Logan joined him, clambering onto the bed and laying down beside him with a good few inches of space between them, propping his chin up on his elbows. “What’s up?” he asked, focusing all his attention on Virgil.

This close proximity had the unintended side effect of shorting out Virgil’s brain for a solid three seconds. “Uh.” He tore his eyes away from Logan’s face. “I… so I have this friend, right? He used to be my best friend. When we were kids. I haven’t really talked to him at all in a few years.”

Logan nodded.

“So, uh.” Virgil hesitated, fidgeting with his phone. “I guess somebody outed me to him. And he wasn’t okay about it.”

Logan sucked in a concerned hiss of air, half-reaching for Virgil’s shoulder and stopping himself partway through the motion. “Are you okay?”

Virgil nodded on instinct, thought about it, and then shook his head. “He texted me out of the blue about it and offered to pray for me.” His voice shook. “And I—I told him no thanks, I like being gay.” He swiped aimlessly back and forth on his homescreen, opening a folder of apps and then closing it, just so he had something else to focus on than the words he was saying. “He got mad. Called me a—a, a… you know.”

“Oh my god,” Logan murmured in a hushed, horrified tone, and this time he did put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m so sorry, Virgil.”

Virgil let out a little hiccup of a laugh that held no humor but was a way to avoid bursting into tears. He drew the back of his hand across his eyes. “I blocked his number right before you got here,” he mumbled.

Logan nodded. “Good.”

“But he’s been messaging me on Instagram this whole time,” Virgil added with a grimace. “I haven’t been opening them, but…” Right on cue, a notification banner popped up across the top of his screen, previewing a message that contained more of the same stuff he’d been seeing flash across his screen for the last half hour.

“Block him there too,” Logan said instantly. “He doesn’t deserve your time.”

Virgil brushed at the corners of his eyes, swiping away the tears that were threatening to accumulate. “I—I don’t want to open it,” he admitted, voice cracking. “If I open the app, I know I’m going to read all of the messages, and I don’t want to.”

Logan was already shaking his head. “No, don’t read them, oh my god—please don’t read them, please don’t hurt yourself like that.”

“I don’t want to,” Virgil repeated, burying his face in the bedcovers for just a second to hide the tears he couldn’t quite hold back.

Logan’s hand cautiously crept from his shoulder to his back, where it began rubbing soothing circles between his shoulderblades. “Is there any way I can help?” he asked after a moment, his voice almost calm enough to hide his own distress. “I could block him for you, if you want. That way you wouldn’t have to handle the app at all.”

Virgil considered this. He didn’t like the idea of others going through his phone, ever, full stop. But he really didn’t like the idea of opening the Instagram app himself and seeing the little red notification in the corner and inevitably clicking it against all his common sense and scrolling through the messages, reading them over and over again, and maybe trying to reason with the guy about Virgil’s own humanity, even though all that would do was invite a dozen more paragraphs of hurt to read and internalize and argue about, and it would only turn into a vicious cycle of never-ending emotional damage. Not ideal.

And he trusted Logan. He still didn’t like the idea of handing Logan his unlocked phone, but it was a lot less bad than the idea of pretty much anyone else having that access, and it was probably way less bad than trying to do it himself and just hoping he’d somehow have the willpower to leave well enough alone when he knew he didn’t trust himself to do that.

“Can I watch you do it?” he asked, turning his head to the side so he could make suddenly-tired eye contact.

“Of course,” Logan said gently. “Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.”

Virgil worried at his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment, then unlocked the phone with a quick hard press of his thumb and passed it to Logan, wincing slightly.

“Instagram?” Logan asked, finger hovering over the app and waiting for Virgil’s confirmation.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

Logan opened the app and, waiting at each step for Virgil’s next instruction, blocked the guy without opening any of the messages sitting in Virgil’s DMs. “Does he have any other accounts?”

“I don’t think so,” Virgil mumbled.

“I’m glad. Are there any other methods he has of contacting you that you’d like to block him on?” Logan offered the phone back.

Virgil accepted it gratefully, his shoulders untensing a little. “I guess Snapchat.” He looked up the account and blocked it. “I deleted my Facebook ages ago.” He drummed his fingers on his lips, thinking. “I don’t have a ton of social media, I think that’s everything.”

Logan nodded, visibly relaxing. “Do you need anything? Any kind of support, or anything?”

“I dunno,” Virgil mumbled. He rolled over onto his back. “It just… it sucks.”

“It really does,” Logan agreed.

Virgil forced out a dry chuckle. “Guess I didn’t need that many friends, anyway,” he said, trying hard to make the situation into something amusing. It didn’t particularly work. “It’s not like most people like me, what’s one less?”

“I like you!” Logan protested, his voice much louder than it had been for the last ten minutes. He froze, looking anywhere but Virgil’s face. “I, I like you a lot. You’re a very good friend,” he added, fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve, his expression flustered.

Virgil set that aside to overthink for ages later. “Uh. Thanks. You—you too,” he managed.

They were both very quiet for a moment, Logan’s fidgeting only increasing as Virgil chewed anxiously on the inside of his cheek.

“Is there anything you need right now?” Logan asked again, just as the tension between them began to become uncomfortable.

Virgil let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “I don’t know… are you busy?”

“Not until my next class, which is at noon tomorrow,” Logan assured him.

“I don’t want to be a bother—”

“I enjoy spending time with you, and you are clearly distressed and I’d like to help if I can,” Logan interrupted, “and you are my friend and I care about you very much, and it is not bothering me to ask whatever you want. If I want to say no, I will.”

Well. He had covered all his bases when it came to anticipating Virgil’s hesitations.

“Would you mind staying for a bit?” Virgil blurted. “To help me keep my mind off it? I—I don’t want to be alone. I think too much.”

Logan’s expression softened into something so tender it almost hurt to look at. “Of course,” he agreed easily. “As long as you like.”

“Thank you,” Virgil whispered.

“Anytime.” Logan fidgeted with his sleeve a bit more, not looking at Virgil. “Um. Would you like to cuddle?” he asked hesitantly after a minute.

Virgil wasn’t sure he’d heard that right. “What?”

“There are several physiological and neurological benefits to—” Logan began, determinedly not looking at Virgil’s face.

“No, I believe you,” Virgil interrupted, and in a surge of daring, added: “Sure.”

Logan blinked, his lips parting slightly in surprise. “Oh! Alright.” He shifted closer, carefully closing the gap between them like he was afraid of doing it wrong, and arranged himself against Virgil’s side with his head on Virgil’s shoulder and his arm draped across Virgil’s chest.

Virgil’s own arm curled around Logan easily, like it was meant to go there. Virgil ignored (mostly) his rapid heartbeat and how soft Logan’s hair was where it brushed against his cheek.

“Do you want to know something totally stupid?” Logan asked.

“Sure,” Virgil said, wondering where this was going.

“I’m scared of the space under my bed.” Logan half chuckled.

Virgil blinked. That had been kind of out of the blue. “What?”

“I’ve tried to rationalize it away. I know it doesn’t make sense.” Logan sounded half amused, like maybe he was trying to cover up some mild embarrassment with humor. “But ever since I was a little kid, it’s scared me. It was worse when I was little, I would have nightmares about it and everything. But it still makes me kind of nervous to just have empty space there. I like to fill it up.”

“That’s fair,” Virgil said. He understood irrational fears. “How come you’re telling me, though? Like, not in a judgemental way,” he added quickly, feeling Logan’s shoulders tense just slightly. “Just wondering where that came from.”

“Ah.” Logan relaxed again. “I am attempting vulnerability. You just shared what seemed like a pretty personal moment with me, and I know that can feel uncomfortable. I am trying to level the playing field a little.”

Virgil couldn’t help but smile. “That’s really sweet, Lo,” he said.

“I am just trying to be a good friend.” Logan shrugged one shoulder, but Virgil could hear the happy note in his voice.

“I was scared of going places by myself when I was little,” Virgil said. “Actually, that came from a nightmare, too.” He laughed a little.

“No, hey!” Logan protested. “Now it’s uneven again!”

“I don’t think that’s how vulnerability works,” Virgil told him, only teasing a little bit. “Friendship isn’t math, it doesn’t have to match on both sides. Besides, I got over that one, mostly. It’s all good.”

Logan nodded slowly in acceptance, rubbing his thumb back and forth across Virgil’s shoulder. “Alright.” He half sat up, but only took his glasses off and reached to put them on the sidetable, then lay back down, cuddling up even more cozily against Virgil once again, making a small noise of content.

“What have you been up to lately?” Virgil asked, his voice hardly above a whisper, because he needed there to be some kind of conversation. Not just to distract himself from the unpleasant stuff of earlier, although that was still a part of it, but also so that he could avoid examining the current situation too hard. Because Logan was just a friend, just a friend, and Virgil couldn’t afford to risk ruining a friendship as wonderful as this one with a big gay crush on his friend.

“Getting used to my new board position in the astronomy club,” Logan said. “And a lot of reading for my classes.”

“You’re the Vice President this year, right?” Virgil asked. Almost without thinking about it, he raised his hand to stroke Logan’s hair, which was just as soft against his fingertips as it had felt against his cheek.

Logan let out a soft sigh of content at the touch, nestling his head a little more snugly against Virgil’s shoulder, and coincidentally fucking melting Virgil’s heart into a puddle of goo. This whole not-a-crush thing was getting to be a serious problem.

“Yes, I’m the Vice President,” Logan confirmed. “I was the secretary last year, so I kind of know the ropes, but I have very different responsibilities this time. So that’s been interesting.”

“Tell me about it,” Virgil invited.

Logan did tell him about it, and then he asked Virgil what he’d been up to, and Virgil got to talk about a research project he was helping one of his favorite professors out with, and that led to telling each other stories about their favorite professors and classes (and some of the bad ones, too), and that led to stories about their friends, and Logan was looking up at Virgil with a soft gaze that Virgil could have stared into forever, and he really didn’t know what was up with Logan of all people’s sudden desire to cuddle, but he wasn’t asking questions because this was kind of the best thing that had happened in forever.

When, much later, the conversation slowly died down and Logan’s voice trailed off into a sleepy noise that he stifled against Virgil’s shoulder, scrunching his whole face up into a yawn, Virgil only tugged at the piled-up blanket he was leaning against until it half-covered the pair of them. Maybe the more responsible thing to do would have been to rouse Logan so he could go home to his apartment, but when Logan shifted closer to him and held him a little tighter, his eyes drifting shut, Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

And he’d meant for it to only be a brief nap, really he had. He hadn’t planned to drift off himself as well. He could’ve sworn he only closed his eyes for a second or two—but when he opened them, sunlight was streaming through the window, and Logan was still there, still in Virgil’s arms cuddled close against his chest. Logan was wide awake now, but he seemed perfectly content to just lie there and examine Virgil’s face, a funny look in his eyes and a tiny smile on his lips.

“Hi,” Virgil said blearily, blinking at him. Then he processed where they were and what had happened. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I should have woken you up,” he began, half sitting up, his voice coming out a sleepy mumble that probably wasn’t anywhere near intelligible.

“No, it’s fine,” Logan assured him, gently pushing him back down. “I don’t mind.”

Virgil was half of a mind to keep apologizing, but it was very warm and he was still barely awake and Logan was so soft and nice, so all in all it was much easier to just lie there and accept the cuddles.

“Are you doing better?” Logan asked quietly.

It took Virgil a minute to fully remember the events of yesterday and figure out what he was referencing. “Oh. Uh, I guess. Like, it still sucks, but I’m going to be okay, you know? And this is nice, anyway.”

Logan nodded, resting his head on Virgil’s chest as if to listen to his heartbeat. “Yes. This is very nice.”

[4 years later]

part 2 - dreams “Come to bed,” Logan said. “You have been scrolling through Tumblr for the past twenty-seven minutes, you can do that just as well while snuggling me.”

“I’ve been attacked,” Virgil said lightly, shutting off his laptop and turning around to face his boyfriend. Logan was sitting in bed in his pajamas, leaning back against the headboard of their bed, a book in his hands and the covers pulled up over his lap. Virgil smiled. “Let me go brush my teeth and then I’ll come cuddle you, babe.”

“Acceptable,” Logan agreed with an answering smile, his eyes flicking up briefly from the pages to meet Virgil’s own.

Virgil brushed his teeth in the little bathroom of the apartment Logan had shared with the twins in the two years since they’d all graduated college. Before reemerging, Virgil changed into the old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants he’d brought with him—he usually stayed overnight on the weekends these days, and this one was no exception.

Roman, sitting at the kitchen table poring over a wad of papers that were probably a script from the local community theatre’s latest production, waved at Virgil as he exited the bathroom. “G’night, Virge,” he called.

“Night, Ro,” Virgil responded, and for good measure, he added, “night, Remus.”

Remus, somewhere out of sight, cackled. “Have fun getting—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Virgil interrupted automatically, without any real bite, making his way back into Logan’s room and shutting the door behind himself.

Logan smiled at the sight of him, pulling back the covers invitingly. Virgil snagged his phone off of Logan’s desk on his way over, climbing into the bed and curling up with his head in Logan’s lap.

Logan let out a small, pleased sigh, resting his hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Happy?” Virgil asked, reaching up to touch Logan’s face.

Logan nodded. “Very.”

Virgil chuckled and half sat up so he could reach to kiss Logan, then settled himself back where he’d been and unlocked his phone, scrolling through Tumblr without paying too much attention. Logan’s hand came to rest lightly on the back of his head, and after a moment began stroking his hair.

He turned a page, then after a minute closed the book and set it down.

Virgil looked up. His boyfriend was gazing down at him, face scrunched up just slightly the way it always did when he was thinking hard about something.

“You good?” Virgil asked.

Logan started slightly. “Oh! Yes.” His hand, which had drifted to a stop at the base of Virgil’s skull, resumed gently stroking Virgil’s hair.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Virgil asked.

Logan was quiet for a beat, then met Virgil’s eyes. “Would you like to get married?”

Virgil choked on air. “What?”

“Married,” Logan repeated, a little shy this time. “You and I. Would you be interested in doing that?”

“I—” Virgil found himself at a loss for words. “I don’t know? Maybe?” He sat up, shutting off his phone and setting it on the sidetable. “I’m sorry—are you proposing to me in our pajamas?”

“No,” Logan said emphatically, frowning. “This is not a proposal. This is so we can talk about it ahead of time, so that if you do want it, then you won’t need to be anxious when I do propose.”

Virgil blinked, processing that. “Wow.” He reached over and brushed his thumb lightly across Logan’s cheek. “I love you so much, you know that?”

Logan’s brow smoothed out and his shoulders visibly untensed. “I love you too.” He put his hand over Virgil’s where it rested on his cheek, cradling it tenderly. He closed his eyes. “And you don’t need to have an answer right now. We can have this conversation whenever you like. I just… wanted to bring it up. Because I would like that, if you are also amicable.” He turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss to the palm of Virgil’s hand.

Virgil hooked a finger in the collar of Logan’s pajama shirt and drew him close for a soft kiss. “Come lay down and cuddle me properly, nerd.”

Logan obediently set his book down on the sidetable beside Virgil’s phone, pulled off his glasses, and set those down too. With some shuffling of limbs, the two of them lay down, Virgil curled up in Logan’s arms. To anyone else, Logan would have seemed perfectly relaxed, content to lay there and press the occasional kiss to Virgil’s forehead; but Virgil could sense the slight tension in Logan’s face. He was nervous, even if he was trying hard not to show it.

Virgil’s own thoughts were whirling. Did he want to get married? He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it. But they were both still so young. Marriage was so big. Even if they’d been dating for more than four years at this point, that was barely more than a blip in the really long run. And what if they found out too late that they disagreed on something important? What if Logan wanted to take out a huge mortgage, or move across the country, or have kids? (Okay, they’d talked about kids, and both felt super hesitant, not-yet-ready at best, about the whole idea. But what if Logan changed his mind?)

(But also… waking up to Logan’s face every morning. Waking up to coffee with Logan and sleepy yawns. Casual touches on the elbow or shoulder or wrist or waist or cheek throughout the day, little reminders of love that were almost thoughtless in their routine. A home that would be just theirs. They could get a pet, if they wanted. They could paint stars on the ceiling or walls. They could cook dinner together every night. They could stay up late watching old TV shows and making snarky commentary back and forth. They could be each other’s home.)

Logan was watching Virgil’s face intently, even as he did his best to play it cool. Virgil met his eyes. “So,” he began, struggling to find the right words for what he wanted to convey. “I—I don’t know what I want. Or. I guess I kind of do. But I’m nervous.”

“We don’t have to,” Logan said quickly. “I mean. Obviously. But I don’t want you to—to feel pressured, or anything, to say anything one way or the other or to have to even say anything at all or—”

“Hey,” Virgil interrupted soothingly as Logan’s voice sped into anxious overdrive. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Logan sucked in a breath. He nodded. “I—sorry.”

Virgil shook his head and leaned across the few inches between them to kiss Logan. “Babe, I just told you I’m nervous. It’s fine if you are too.”

“I’m not nervous—” Logan began. He cut himself off at the wry look Virgil gave him. “I—okay, fine. But it’s not a big deal.”

“Hmm, disagree.”

“But the whole point was so I could support you if you felt—”

“L. Babe. Light of my life. You get nervous when you’re vulnerable. I get it.”

Logan bit his lip and reached for Virgil’s hand. He held it tightly.

Virgil squeezed back and snuggled closer under the covers. “Anyway, uh.” He paused for a second to make sure he knew how he wanted to say it. “I—I still don’t know exactly what I want to say about that idea. But I know the answer is definitely not a no.”

Logan breathed in, not quite sharply enough to be a gasp. “Oh,” he breathed, letting go of Virgil’s hand so he could caress his face.

“Does that make sense?” Virgil asked. “Like, I don’t yet know how or when I want it. But I—I think I want to, eventually, and I really want it to be you.”

“Yeah,” Logan said, his voice coming out a little choked. “Yeah, that—that’s good.”

Virgil half smiled. “Kiss?” he asked.

Logan was reaching for him before he even finished the word, pulling him close and clinging to him as he kissed the breath from Virgil’s lungs like he never wanted to let go. Virgil wrapped his own arm around Logan, holding him just as tightly, and cupped Logan’s face with the hand that was trapped between the two of them.

“I love you,” Virgil whispered as they pulled apart, and now he was choking up a little too.

Logan pressed their foreheads together. “I love you so much.”

They were both quiet for a moment, holding each other close.

“I think it’d be nice to get one of those really fancy coffee machines,” Virgil whispered after a minute. “Someday. For our someday kitchen.” He enjoyed Logan’s sudden intake of breath and the way his eyes widened slightly at the word our. “The kind that can make espresso, and shit,” Virgil went on. “We could try out all different kinds of things. And I wouldn’t tell anybody how much sugar you always put in your coffee.”

“I put a normal amount of sugar in my coffee,” Logan protested, a smile quirking onto his face.

“L, I love you, but that is maybe the least true thing you have ever said in your life.” Virgil snickered.

“Shut up,” Logan whined, pushing lightly at Virgil’s shoulder with an answering grin.

Virgil leaned in and kissed his cheek. “It’s cute.” He hesitated for a beat. “What would you want? In your dream future?”

“You,” Logan responded immediately.

Virgil pressed a hand to his mouth. He absolutely should have seen that one coming, but he hadn’t, and the surprise made the pang of fondness in his chest all the sweeter. “Logan,” he managed after a minute.

Logan only grinned, looking very pleased with himself. “A coffee machine does sound very nice, too, though,” he added. “And space for you to keep an instrument.”

“Oh,” Virgil breathed, lighting up at the idea. “Yeah, that sounds really good. I’d want a library for all your stupid nerdy books.”

Logan put a hand on Virgil’s cheek. “I’d want a kitchen table that we both picked out together.”

Virgil grinned. “A couch to hold you on.”

“A wall full of art that we both like.”

“Windows so there’s light everywhere and you can see the stars at night.”

“A pantry full of our favorite foods.”

“A bed to—”

“Virgil!”

“Whaaat?”

“We were being cute!” Logan smacked his arm lightly. “Remus is a bad influence on you,” he accused, though Virgil could see he was trying not to laugh.

“I mean, probably,” Virgil allowed, grinning. “But maybe I was just going to say a bed to sleep in. And cuddle in. And perfectly innocent things like that. Maybe you’re the one Remus is a bad influence on.”

“I—” Logan struggled for a second, then broke down into snickers.

Virgil grinned, wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist and enjoying the sound of his laughter.

“Were you going to say something like that, though?” Logan asked, composing himself.

“Oh, no, absolutely not.” Virgil snickered. “You were right, I was going to ruin the cutesy vibe we had going on there, one hundred percent. But you’re really cute when you laugh, so no regrets.”

“Hmm,” Logan hummed, leaning closer. “You know when else I’m really cute?”

“When?” Virgil breathed.

“When I’m kissing you,” Logan murmured, and closed the gap between their lips.

Virgil kissed back, eyes fluttering shut and hands sliding a little more securely around Logan’s waist. In his opinion, Logan made a very compelling point.

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thatspookyagent · 3 years

Note

I was going to send a ship in for you but I can't remember if I actually did or not, so if I did please ignore this one lmao

I'm about average height and goth, pretty much everything in my wardrobe is black bar the occasional red or green item. my hair is currently a complete mess, the front is basically white whereas the back is ginger with black ends, but I love it and that's all that matters, technically it's curly but it's a lil too damaged right now to actually curl properly so it just kind of frizzes a lot most of the time lmao.

I think I actually spend a lot of time on my appearance what with my hair and often spending a long time on makeup, which may come off as quite vain but it's actually something that helps me with my anxiety when going out! Like being able to focus on that sort of stuff before hand is kind of comforting.

I also collect a lot of things, it brings me comfort, for example I have a lot of rocks/gemstones, seashells and also dice! In total I have 88 dice, which isn't as many as I'd like to have but I've been planning for my new collection, I usually base them around characters so I collect a few sets on my wishlist before buying.

Personality wise I think I can be kind of a bitch, but everyone seems to think I'm nice so maybe I'm just wrong lmao, I'm usually pretty quiet in groups but one on one I'm much louder and more open. I have a few sensory issues due to autism, most of them texture based, which I think can make me come off as kind if difficult from time to timevbut I've learnt how to deal with them to avoid anything happening. Honestly I'm not sure how to describe my personality for real, I like to think I'm funny but I'm pretty sure most people like to think that.. I think it's easier to just describe small random things about me as opposed to my personality, for example it's almost impossible for me to sit through a full movie unless I'm in a cinema, it always takes me at least two-three days minimum. I can't ride a bike, I never saw the point of learning as kid so I never did, for some reason people find that weird but I didn't want to waste my time on something I knew I wouldn't enjoy. Rereading this, maybe what I'm getting is that my personality is just super pessimistic lmao.

I hope this is enough, if not please let me know what else you need and I'll give it to you! Yeah yeah, thanks in advance!! <3 I didn't proofread this so I hope to god its readable

I ship you with...

(Pre-Cult) Kai Anderson!

I think the two of you would thrive with pessimistic personalities

No really cause you and him would shit on and slander so many things and he’d be right behind you, feeding into it and encouraging it, hell maybe even starting the slander in the first place

“Man that movie was utter shit." Commence the dragging

Basically y’all two would be the ultimate roasting buddies <3

Also he'd totally be loud and rambunctious with you, probably even more than you

Kai would teach you how to ride a bike but probably end up falling with you

Not on purpose, he’s just fucking stupid

He would make sure to buy foods that don’t mess with your sensory issues and if there’s any food around that does, he’ll gladly eat it up for you

When it comes to watching movies, Kai can’t focus either

He’s usually too busy criticizing everything or talking, usually giving behind the scenes info about all the crazy amount of work put into the movie or really gross details, sometimes both

He wouldn’t mind it taking two to three days for you to finish a movie, that way he can just talk more yanno?

Kai would start to also slowly wear everything you wear and or adopt your style gradually

Like it starts off subtly with him buying and wearing more and more black flannels

Soon he’s just full on goth and it’s all your fault

The man would do his best to help you with your make up but lets be honest, he ain’t the best

Kai will literally smear chunks of caked up eye shadow on you and call it a night

Yes that’s literally something that classifies as presentable to him

But in all seriousness he would watch make up tutorials for you in order to help you out or give you new ideas

Would take him a while to adjust to actually having class for once but all in all he tries his best and isn’t too shabby himself

It would also help him out with doing his own make up so wins all around tbh

Any dice that Kai finds is immediately finders keepers (even if he steals it cause it’s technically owned by someone) and he would give it to you so that you can add it to your collection

He would also just buy dice off the internet and give you the ones he already has and can spare which are D&D dice (that’s right I headcanon that Kai plays Dungeons & Dragons, keep it movin!)

Whenever the two of you go to the beach, he will point out all kinds of sea shells for you

“Look (Y/N), there’s a sea shell! it’s almost as bad looking as that movie we saw last week!”

He would also get you cool and pretty rocks and gemstones for you as well

Kai would practice linking pinkies with you, it’s a big intimate thing for the both of you

Also he would constantly be hyped about anything you cook for him, and he’s actually more positive and nice towards you than he is with anyone else’s cooking

He would take cooking classes for you but then get kicked out for purposefully causing a huge grease fire

Also if you give him any gifts, he’d repay you in kindness and pinkie holds the best he can

SHIPS ARE CLOSED!

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grailfinders · 3 years

Text

Fate and Phantasms #158

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the best blue dog in Chaldea since Cu Chulainn (And also the guy riding him) Avenger of Shinjuku! (If we really want to avoid spoilers, should we be calling them the Rider of Shinjuku?) As always with these servants, it’s hard to go into detail about who they are without spoiling stuff, so keep that in mind before going further.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: Funny amogus reference!

Hessian Lobo are mostly a Shadow Sorcerer to summon a big scary dog and other magical nonsense we need stuffed into this spirit origin, but they also get a couple levels of Fighter, because the endgame levels of Sorcerer are bad, and you do hit things with a sharp stick from time to time.

Race and Background: You’re a Human, but you’re also a ghost that haunts a stretch of road, killing all you come across, so that makes you a Revenant as well. (I will tell you now, a lot of headaches would be solved if you just went with Halfling Revenant instead, but human’s still the most in-character.) This gives you +1 Strength, +1 Charisma, and +1 Constitution, as well as a Relentless Nature. This means you gain 1 HP each round if you’re bloodied, you can’t die permanently, and you always know the direction of your DM assigned goal. Once that goal is complete, you die instantly. Bit of a downside, but tbh D&D games take forever, you’ll barely notice.

In life you were a Soldier, and while that doesn’t fit the background of both members of your party, the Athletics and Intimidation training will come in handy.

Ability Scores: Make sure your Charisma is as high as possible, you are terrifying, and you know it. Strength is a close second, because heads are notoriously difficult to separate. After that is Constitution, not only are ghosts hard to kill, but you’re also invisible half the time, which makes things even harder Your Wisdom isn’t bad- you can tell where people are when it’s time to take heads, but you still don’t really have eyes. You don’t really get off your horse that much, so your Dexterity is pretty low, but we’re dumping Intelligence. One of you is literally brainless, and the other is an animal. You won’t be solving Sudokus any time soon.

Class Levels:

1. Fighter 1: Starting as a fighter nets you plenty of goodies, including extra HP and weapon proficiencies so you can use a real scythe. You also get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Animal Handling to keep the king of Currumpaw under control and Perception. You can see without eyes, that’s pretty skillful.

You also get a Fighting Style, and if you really want to play D&D without a head the Blind Fighting style is a must, giving you blindsense in a 10′ radius around you.

You also get a Second Wind once per short rest as a bonus action which’ll heal you a bit. I guess that’s your oblivion correction.

2. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, letting you take an extra action in a turn once per short rest. I hope you like it, because this is the only way you’ll be able to attack twice per turn for ages.

3. Sorcerer 1: While I wouldn’t call you a wizard, you do some wacky tricks that you can only really do in D&D with magic. Since these come from your being dead/unethical spirit origin mad science, I’d say a Shadow sorcerer is the closest thing in the rules books.

First level shadow sorcerers get Eyes of the Dark, giving you 120 feet of darkvision, which is really impressive for someone without eyes. You also get the Strength of the Grave, letting you make a Charisma save when you drop to 0 HP once per long rest. If you succeed, you drop to 1 HP instead. This doesn’t work on radiant damage or critical hits, but all that makes you more ghostly, so that’s probably fine.

You also get Spells that you can cast using your Charisma. Friends will help you work with your slobbery partner more easily, while True Strike and Sword Burst add a bit of flair to your weapon attacks. You also get the cantrip Mind Sliver to track down your prey.

For first level spells, Mage Armor will help out with riding around in a suit, and Expeditious Retreat makes you a bit harder to escape from. Both these spells can also be pretty useful for Lobo once he shows up.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, which lets you turn spell slots into Sorcery Points and vice versa. You can only have a number of sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level at most, and they refill on long rests.

You also learn the Jump spell to help the King of Currumpaw get around the crowded streets of Shinjuku.

5. Sorcerer 3: At third level you get two Metamagic options to alter your spells. Subtle Spell lets you cast magic without somatic or verbal components- very useful when you don’t have a mouth. Twinned Spell will let you cast spells on two targets instead of one, which is great for making both you and your ride invisible.

Enlarge/Reduce might not seem that useful, but trust me you’ll love it in a bit.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump your Strength up a bit for stronger melee attacks.

The cantrip Message will help you get around that whole “no mouth” thing to talk to your party members, and your first bit of Invisibility will make sneaking up on your target a breeze.

7. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, using your sorcery points to re-roll failed ability checks. I’m not saying the Hessian is magically glued to his saddle or anything, but you never see him fall off, do you?

You also get third level spells, like Hold Person, which makes taking peoples’ heads off so much easier.

8. Sorcerer 6: As a sixth level sorcerer, you finally get your Hound of Ill Omen. Using three sorcery points, you can summon a hound as a bonus action, targeting a creature within 120 feet of you. It’s mostly a Dire Wolf, with a few changes:

It’s medium, not large, and a monstrosity, not a beast.

It gets temporary HP equal to half your sorcerer level.

It can move through solid objects as if it was difficult terrain, taking 5 force damage if it ends a turn in something.

The hound automatically knows the location of the target at the start of each turn.

On top of all that, it can only move towards the target, and can only use its action to attack the target. Also, the target gets disadvantage on saves against your spell while within melee range of the hound. The hound disappears after it or the target hits 0 HP, or after 5 minutes.

The big problem here is the size; you’ll either have to use Enlarge/Reduce to ride it, or just Be a Halfling.

Either way, you can also use Haste to double a creature’s movement speed, give them an extra action each turn, and boost their AC and dexterity saves. The creature also has to take a turn to rest after the spell ends, but that’s probably fine.

9. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells, like Dominate Beast. I know I just said Lobo technically isn’t a beast, but it’s the thought that counts.

10. Sorcerer 8: Now that you have a mount, we can get Mounted Combatant, giving you advantage on attacks against creatures smaller than your mount, and they get evasion. You can also force attacks that hit them to you instead. Don’t do that though, you’re a sorcerer, and Lobo can be rebuilt on a bonus action.

You can also Charm Monster this level, which comes with the added benefit of actually working on your wolf.

11. Sorcerer 9: Ninth level sorcerers get fourth level spells, like Greater Invisibility, which lets one target become invisible for the duration regardless of how many heads they take off.

12. Sorcerer 10: Tenth level sorcerers get another Metamagic option, like Extended Spell. A lot of your spells are buffs, and it would be awkward for that invisibility to drop when you’re halfway through a hunt.

You also learn Minor Illusion, because I couldn’t really come up with a sixth cantrip to give you but now you can make your cape look cooler, and Hold Monster. Just ask Sanson, a disappointingly small number of the things you fight are actually human.

13. Sorcerer 11: For your fifth level spell, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise both makes you scarier and makes you a stronger fighter, making you immune to Fire and Poison damage as well as the poisoned condition. You also get +2 to your AC, gain a flying speed, and you can attack with your weapon twice per action, using your charisma instead of strength, and it counts as magical damage.

14. Sorcerer 12: Speaking of, let’s bump your Charisma up a bit for stronger Strength of the Grave saves and better magic.

15. Sorcerer 13: Lobo is now so fast you can Teleport as an action, moving you and up to eight willing creatures to a destination on your plane of existence. There’s a slight chance for failure that goes up the less familiar you are with the destination, but that’s probably fine.

16. Sorcerer 14: At fourteenth level, shadow sorcerers can Shadow Walk, letting you teleport between areas of dim light or darkness within 120 feet of each other as a bonus action.

17. Sorcerer 15: Your seventh level spell, Dominate Monster, finally lets you put Lobo fully under your control. He might not like it, but he’s only alive for five minutes at a time anyway.

18. Sorcerer 16: Use your last ASI to max out your Charisma for the toughest saves, strongest spells, and strongest attacks while using your Otherworldly Guise.

19. Sorcerer 17: Speaking of strong spells, you can now use your Blade of Disaster to cause disaster for anyone banking on an intact neck. You can create a magical blade that deals two attacks per bonus action, dealing 4d12 force damage on an attack. On a critical hit, the damage is tripled instead of doubled, and it crits on 18s or higher. Also, it can pass through anything, including a Wall of Force.

To make that even scarier, you can cast it as an Empowered Spell, letting you reroll up to five damage dice each attack.

20. Sorcerer 18: Your capstone level gives you an Umbral Form, letting you use a bonus action to become a shadow that can move through physical objects and has resistance on all damage besides force and radiant for a minute. You take 5 force damage if you end a turn inside an object.

This is especially useful given the fact that you have a ride that can only go forward, and already moves through objects itself.

Pros:

Once you lock onto a target, it’s really hard to shake you. With a hasted dire wolf, you can go 100 feet per round, you’ll always take the shortest route possible, and they literally can’t hide from you.

Two levels of fighter on any sort of caster is very useful, thanks to your action surge giving you an even better version of Quickened Casting.

Mounted Combatant is a nice enough feat, but it doesn’t do too much to help out here since a lot of your spells aren’t really attacks. That is until you realize Blade of Disaster makes melee attacks, and Mounted Combatant doesn’t specify it only works on weapon attacks. This means you can make all those attacks with advantage, further increasing your odds of getting enormous crits with each swing.

Cons:

The reason that great combo above doesn’t quite work is simple, though: You need your concentration focused on keeping your mount around at all, since without Enlarge/Reduce you’re stuck with a medium sized wolf. That also means you can’t haste the wolf and ride it. Or turn it invisible. Or even charm it.

The biggest problem here is Flavor. You can either do all the cool things Hessian Lobo does, or you can ride the wolf. These are mutually exclusive, unless you A) are a halfling, B) have a cool DM, or C) just invest in a horse.

Despite being a frontline fighter, all those levels of sorcerer make you incredibly Squishy. With a low AC and low HP, you’ll have a hard time sticking around without your invisibility. Normally this would be made up for thanks to your mount keeping you out of trouble, but your wolf only knows how to run even further into danger.

#FGO #Fate Grand Order #D&D 5e #DND #Avenger of Shinjuku #Fighter #Sorcerer

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 46 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

This lesson’s got two locked chapters that I can’t unlock :’)

D takes them to the casino where they meet Mammon in the Lamp event outfit. When he laughs and tells them that they must have forgotten who he is if they think they can take the money MC ignores all of this to ask him wtf he’s wearing. Mammon blushes and tells them that they have no right to criticize what he’s wearing considering what they’re wearing. Then he says also Lucifer wtf happened to you!? He laughs and teases Lucifer about getting shrunk and how he could accidentally step on him and kill him rn or how Beel might eat him as a snack. I saw someone say that Mammon was a little shit who was also BabyTM and like Yess!??? I love when we get to see more of the asshole side of him specially when we already know how soft he is. Man’s an onion :’) Beel says he wouldn’t do that unless Lucifer hid inside a piece of cake and Beel swallowed him whole without realising. Lucifer, off screen: “You’d better realise I was there!” And Like??? That’s the point Lucifer wants to argue? Not the fact that he wouldn’t hide inside a cake? Mammon says whatever and that he’ll take Lucifer from them so he can have fun with his new toy anyway RIP to Mammon who dies after this lesson. “Mammon, Avatar of Greed, Appears”- gonna have Pokemon Battles from now on, I can’t believe this what this dating sim has evolved into :D Mammon uses wind to lift Lucifer up and bring him towards him. MC has a flashback to the previous night and commands Beel who transforms into a demon and whose body starts moving on its own, Beel then cancels out Mammon’s spell and uses a wind spell to send Mammon flying. Beel transforms back to his human form and is shocked by what happened. Solomon says MC did a good job commanding Beel though they weren’t able to draw out all his powers. They get the armour, which Beel thinks is too flashy but MC tells him it looks great which he is happy about. D tells them about a rumour of Satan attacking a town up north.

As they walk through the woods Lucifer talks about how much he’s gonna love beating the shit outta Mammon when he’s back to normal and waves MC off when they ask him to go easy on Mammon. Beel says that Lucifer used to be a lot nicer to Mammon in the celestial realm and how the two of them would team up to go argue with Raphael. Solomon asks if it was Diavolo who got Lucifer to change and what exactly Lucifer had to do to reach the status they now enjoy in the Devildom. Beel seems shocked at this and ask Lucifer if it’s true. He says he doesn’t remember. There’s growling & they’re suddenly surrounded by ghosts. Solomon: Oh yeah lol this is called the Black Phantom Forest. Everyone else: WHY the FUCK didn’t you say so before!? They run from the ghosts and set up camp beside a lake, MC & Beel talk. Beel says how they’ve all changed from their time in the Celestial Realm and he can’t remember when he stopped resisting the urge to constantly eat. But how somethings are still the same and how the brothers have always been together and how they always will be. He brings up the three things the butcher said to maintain a long relationship and how even though they may sometimes falter at the “respect each other” part when it comes down to it the brothers have all three things with each other (Not me sobbing like a baby. It’s the found family trope for me guys). Beel says how he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fight Belphie if they meet him in the game and how he has so many people who he loves that he doesn’t know who to put first and that he knows many people would kill to have that kinda problem and that as both an angel and a demon he’s being lucky to have the people he loves. MC gets to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder or say nothing and guys I love Beel so much he’s just so pure god. Okay so theory part: I 100% believe (& it’s implied in canon and in the chats too) and the main reason Lucifer is so mean to Mammon now is because he’s scared if he doesn’t discipline him then Diavolo will and he’ll end up with another Lilith situation. That being said I NEED to know how Lucifer came across Mammon in the celestial realm and what he said to make Mammon so loyal to him. PLS om! Give me the boys backstory? I like to think Lucifer raised Mammon the same way Simeon is raising Luke and that’s why you can see some of Lucifer’s traits in Mammon whenever he becomes serious about something and why Mammon sometimes slips up and calls Lucifer “Dad” and why Lucifer becomes so happy about it. I also think the others would have been older than Mammon was when he first met Lucifer, when they eventually joined the family which is why they share far less traits with Lucifer and why (as far as we know) none of them have called Lucifer ‘dad”. If this is true it also brings up a real interesting dynamic between Satan and Mammon that would be useful when writing fics. You know a little deeply buried resentment and envy about Lucifer having been more of a father figure to Mammon than to the person who is technically his actual son, and since we know for a fact that right after arriving in the Devildom Lucifer starts going through an existential crisis and Mammon’s the one who steps up to look after the others I 100% believe Mammon’s the one who did most of the work in raising a newly created Satan and who taught him how to control his anger so well (cause lets be real it definitely couldn’t be any of the others) which also gives backstory to Satan’s “do you think Mammon’s actually the most decent of us” homescreen comment and more importantly adds spice to the relationship dynamic you can work with in fics.

When they wake up Beel is thankful that they didn’t get eaten. Solomon: not like you would have noticed with all the fun you had *wink wink* Lucifer: wtf Solomon:*WINK WINK* Me: bro they were just talking… they find out game time and real world time pass differently and come across a treasure chest in the middle of their path. Solomon: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Expect that’s definitely a trap… Solomon: Exactly! Which is why we should open it! :D MC: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Why is the entire human species so fucking stupid!? Why were you created without any self preservation!? Who approved this!? They find medicine, a warding bottle and cat ears. …They put Lucifer into the bottle and Lucifer’s really going through it in this huh. But opening the chest pulls up an inescapable battle with the final boss, and Satan pops up fully immersed in the villain role with an evil laugh and everything. Luci asks MC to use something from the chest and they use the cat ears and Lucifer’s disappointed when they actually work. But it only deals 222 damage to Satan’s 870k HP. Satan paralyses them all and steals bottled lucifer and calls Belphie to finish the others off. I can’t remember if I mentioned this before but how did the brothers know that Lucifer was gonna be mini before they even got home, it would’ve had to be quite a bit in advance for them to so perfectly set up everything… And you know Solomon was really determined to open that chest (I mean so was MC but the whole of season 1 was establishing that their curiosity was gonna get them killed) so…

MC tells Belphie they don’t want to fight him and Belphie says he doesn’t want to fight either but at the same time Satan agreed to give him mine lucifer for a whole day if he defeats them. Beel’s still reluctant and Belphie says Beel doesn’t have to worry cause Belphie isn’t the same small/weak person that Beel always had to protect (and holy shit I need more info on this too?). Beel eventually agrees and says that Belphie’s strong, he tells MC that they weren’t able to use his entire power against Mammon cause he was holding himself back unconsciously but that he was ready now. MC makes Beel do a bunch of wind attacks and they defeat Belphie who’s impressed. Beel says that the magic was actually MC doing it not him (even though he was the one that executed it). Belphie says he’ll join their party if MC promises him that he’ll be allowed to poke at mini luci. MC tells him there’s a damned line and he’ll have to wait his turn. Solomon wonders if MC should be going around giving the right to annoy lucifer to others but also he wants that right too. Even though Lucifer was kidnapped since he’s still in the bottle he’ll be protected so MC’s test is still ongoing. Odd that there was a bottle that would protect Lucifer should he get kidnapped in the chest that was a trap… look we all know Solomon is shady enough that he’s probably behind this right?

During dinner at a tavern the twins are sickeningly soft with each other and Solomon watches them with a smile. For the night the twins end up sharing a room with each other, with Mc and Solomon alone together. In the middle of the night MC wakes up to Solomon still up and looking sad. They ask him what’s up. He says despite how much they walked he still isn’t tired and that seeing the twins together made him lonely. Seeing how much they love and care and understand each other and how they were always together made him wish he had something similar but how when you didn’t age it was difficult to from lasting bonds like that in the human world. MC tells him that all of them care about him and he says he hopes so. Solomon: Lol just the two of us in a room in a game, wouldn’t it be crazy if we made out? MC can either kiss him or kinda stare awkwardly. If they choose the second he apologises for suddenly putting them on the spot and says he won’t try anything else. So this might be kinda an unpopular opinion and I’m genuinely really happy that the side characters are getting more screen time and development because I desperately needed that but I’m not really onboard the romancing option with them? I’m happy they’ve got their own cards now and I love the devilgram stories and romance options in them but I don’t think it makes sense in the context of the main storyline? Barbatos has almost no interaction with MC and though they haven’t shown it yet it’d be weird if he was suddenly into MC. Diavolo spent 2 whole seasons simping over Lucifer why is MC suddenly an option? Besides Diavolo always seems so lonely and I really want him and MC to be really good friends, I want Diavolo to have a friendship where there isn’t some condition that hangs over it like there is with his relationship with Barbatos and Lucifer. The same goes with Solomon. I just want him to have a good solid friendship where there isn’t expectations or power between them. He also initially only seems interested in MC for their power and as a way to train them and eventually genuinely softens up to them, Just the request to kiss seemed outta nowhere? I don’t know why but with Simeon he seems above crushes? I always imagine him seeing MC as another cute kid Lucifer picked up (despite MC being an adult) and having a sort of soft indulgent attitude towards them. I don’t know I think I just want MC to have some friends who aren’t trying to sleep with them.

Solomon is extremely chipper the next morning and Belphie grumpily makes a comment about him having fun and sdfjdvnsjdokd they just talked. Belphie uses his magic to teleport them to Satan’s castle and Beel asked why he couldn’t do that the previous night, Belphie says grumpily cause then Solomon would have missed out on the fun and Solomon agrees and THEY JUST TALKED!? Satan has managed to transform Lucifer into wolf Lucifer and is shaking his bottle hard enough to make Luci wanna puke while Lucifer asks him to stop. MC tells satan to stop and he tells them they won’t be able to defeat him cause they skipped right to the boss battle without taking the long route and levelling up. MC says they’re not gonna fight him cause this whole thing is fucking stupid. Satan says it’s not cause he’s having fun. MC gives him one of their free therapy sessions about how important the bonds between he and his brothers are and how they don’t care more about helping the brothers all get along than some stupid star. Beel comes out spitting facts, saying they all know that Satan actually cares about Lucifer and how that embarrasses him and how he needs to stop hiding it by lashing out. And how Lucifer needs to get his shit together and be honest with satan. That he needs to tell Satan that Lucifer knows he’s his own demon and a really good demon at that. Lucifer says FYI but I never said you weren’t your own great person and Satan blushes and says that unless he wants to look childish he has no option but to accept the olive branch. He tosses Luci to MC. Belphie complains about having stupid older brothers and Solomon says he’s disappointed in Satan and reveals himself as the true secret final boss and FUCK YEAH! I CALLED THAT SHIT! Kinda – I thought he might have just given them a heads up about Luci’s condition. On a different note, Satan needs serious therapy. They all do tbh.

Solomon congratulates MC on what they’ve done so far but says they still haven’t accessed Beel’s full potential and that he’ll give his ‘adorable apprentice’ one more shit at it. Solomon summons Asmo who complains about how long he was made to wait and how he nearly gave up and went to the spa and that no one likes a selfish man. Solomon tells Asmo that he can tell him all this after they get back to the real world and I genuinely want the backstory of how they met and just more about their relationship. At Solomon’s command Asmo uses charm and paralyses Beel and at MC’s Beel uses another wind attack. Asmo says he’s never seen beel do something of this calibre before and he seems more powerful, even more than he was in the celestial realm, Asmo yells at Solomon for just standing and seeming impressed instead of helping him. There’s a bright white light.

Back home with everything back to normal Beel, Lucifer and MC are hanging out by the pool. Lucifer is in an unexpectedly good mood and MC has earned a star, which glows slightly from its place on the symbol etched to the back of their hand. Inside Solomon is feeding the other brothers as punishment. Mammon is sobbing his heart out and Levi is out cold (possibly dead). Satan is given Levi’s remaining share of food and Asmo is in tears. Belphie had made a run for it the second they got home and is nowhere to be found. Solomon talks about how nice Lucifer actually is and how he really loves his brothers cause he just made Solomon make them dinner instead of punishing any of them…. Love that the canonical reason why none of these demons tell Solomon about his food and allow themselves to get tortured is cause they don’t wanna be rude and hurt his feelings. And he thought no one cared about him. If that isn’t love I dunno what is. Beel and MC take a walk while Lucifer sits by the pool and in his words basks in “their screams of agony” While blushing beel says he’s grateful for what happened and how that star is proof that they got closer. Mc can either thank him or say that the star belongs to him. I think they kiss after the second option? For the first Beel says MC’s the one who did the work of drawing out his power. Over the echoing screams from inside Beel asks if they feel like they forgot something and ndfjkfjkdjfefjkn THEY FORGOT DIAVOLO I’M!!!!???? poor baby

#my posts #my theories #obey me spoilers #obey me!#obey me #swd obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me shall we date

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