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krem-does-stuff · 1 year

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World's dumbest spymaster (part 2)

Azriel/Eris

Summary: The way in which Azriel’s family learns about his relationship with Eris is not exactly the way he envisioned it.

Word count: 2795

Warnings: none

Part 1

Read on AO3

When Azriel arrives in front of the Cabin with Eris by his side, Rhys and Cassian are already outside and their slightly snowy clothes suggest that they have started the warm-up early. Rhys levels him with an indescribable look and Azriel suddenly regrets that he didn’t choose to avoid the confrontation for a little longer.

Heart in his throat he looks at Eris trying to discern what he's thinking but Eris is as composed and nonchalant as possible. His face is a perfect picture of relaxed confidence, shoulders straight but not stiff, chin up, eyes on the enemies. Well, probably not enemies anymore, they are a family now, right?

The thought makes him feel a bit hysterical so he abandons it for the time being.

His hand itches to grab Eris's shoulder and pull him close so he balls it forcefully and tries to compose himself. Cat's out of the bag now, it's too late to be nervous, the only thing he can do is own it.

Actually he would very much prefer to really own it, for example by taking Eris hand in his own or kissing him in the cheek or brow or just do anything, really, to show them all that he's not embarrassed. He's not ashamed of his relationship with Eris. He's not ashamed of Eris.

But he's not doing anything of the sorts in fear that this public display of affection would be unwelcome by Eris. Even in Autumn, when absolutely nobody would dare to threaten the High Lord if their relationship goes viral, Eris is very careful with maintaining appearances. He doesn't exactly hide Azriel, but he's not hugging him in courtiers' presence either.

The thought that Eris might pull away from his kiss or take his hand back now, in front of Rhys and Cassian, is unfathomably painful so he just stands there, ramrod straight, not touching Eris at all and waits for the hellfire.

"You look like you arrived at your own execution," Rhysand says and Azriel is not entirely sure if his tone is teasing in a nice way or more hostile way, the way that ends with him banished forever.

"Did I?"

"Execution by snow won't be easy but we can surely try." Cassian is already bouncing a snowball in his hand, the look in his eyes as amused as in Eris's room before. Pity that Rhys isn't sharing this sentiment.

Azriel can read people, he can read people really well, okay? But Rhys's face is purposefully closed and guarded and Azriel cannot say if he’s pissed, or disappointed, or sad, or one step from telling him to go fuck himself to Autumn and don't come back. Certainly he isn't vomiting rainbows and sunshine right now. Cassian's easy approach to the topic made him assume that all the inner circle is fine with the news. He assumed wrong.

"Can you just be out with it?" He snaps and Rhysand raises one eyebrow, the first sign of emotion on his passive face.

"Out with what?"

"With whatever you are hiding behind this mask of indifference right now. Are you angry with me?"

"I'm certainly not happy that my spymaster has been keeping secrets from me."

"Apparently I haven't since you already knew about it."

"I didn't know, I guessed. Cassian only confirmed it twenty minutes ago. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not the spy report, it's my personal life. I'm not obliged to tell my High Lord about my relationships."

"I thought I was your brother as well."

The implication that Rhys is the victim here doesn't sit well with Azriel. It sits extremely unwell. He does feel guilty but it's not like he was choking himself with this secret without a good fucking reason.

"You threw a fit when I wanted to pursue Elain. Was I to believe that you will pat my back when I tell you I'm in love with another High Lord?"

There it is. The L world just spilled out of him and he's so fucking angry at himself that he said it now, that it wasn't during private conversation when Eris learned about Azriel's hopeless little feelings.

He must admit though that he doesn't remember Rhys being so bewildered in the last decade and it gives him a little rush of satisfaction. His High Lord probably didn't anticipate any declarations of love on this fine day. How could he when even Azriel didn't anticipate it and it was his traitor mouth that got the best of him.

Cassian is stunned into silence as well but in his case it's not an exactly unusual occurrence. Cassian is sometimes stunned by a particularly appetizing cake. Probably none of them realized how deep Azriel's feelings for Eris go.

Idea of looking at Eris right now fills him with dread but he has to, the alternative of not knowing Eris's reaction to this confession is much much worse, so he dares to look. Numb relief washes over him as he sees that Eris doesn't seem to be angry or shocked or prone to any mocking. There's warmth in his amber eyes and the same warmth fills Azriel's heart to the brim.

He already feels like he threw himself off the cliff and doesn't have anything to risk anymore so he finally lets himself take Eris' hand into his own. Time seems to stretch and his heart thunders in anticipation, half expecting to be rejected, to be considered pathetic and weak, but Eris only squeezes his hand ever so gently.

The gesture feels monumental. It's earth shattering.

"So what, you forgot Elain and found the next most problematic person in Prythian?" Rhys's words interrupt Azriel's epiphany and his mood goes from elated to seething with anger in a nanosecond.

"Yes. That's the only thing I was thinking about when going into this relationship: you and how it will affect you."

"I'm sure you are aware that your choice of partner is not easy to navigate politically."

"You really think I didn't agonize about it for the last few months? But you know what conclusion I reached? I don't care. I'm sorry Rhys. I'm happy. For the first time in gods know how long I am really, truly happy. I won't give that up." The work he had to put into not letting his voice crack at the last sentence is immense but he's relatively sure he managed it.

"I'm not asking you to." Rhys's tone is suddenly much more gentle and now it is Azriel's turn to be stunned.

"Then what are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that I'm disappointed you thought you couldn't trust us with it. It's a very different situation than with Elain. She is mated to someone else.”

Azriel feels a miniscule twitch of Eris's hand and he wishes desperately for Rhysand to stop bringing up Elain. He wishes for himself to go back in time and kick his own ass for the mere idea of mentioning her. What the fuck was he thinking? He doesn't want Eris to feel like he's the second choice. It couldn't be further from the truth but it's probably not the best moment to assure Eris about that.

"I’m not trying to forbid you from having a relationship or being happy,” Rhys continues, oblivious to Azriel's inner turmoil. “It's a political nightmare but I'm sure we can think of something that works for everyone."

"You are not going to fire me from being your spymaster?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course not."

“Then I won’t”.

All the fight he had stored inside suddenly leaves him and Azriel feels exhausted and adrift in his own overloaded mind that tries to shut itself to limit the stimuli. Eris’s hand is the only thing tethering him to reality.

Rhys is not going to banish him or punish him. He’s visibly not ecstatic about Eris but he’s not unkind either. He offered to try and make it work and it’s enough. Actually it's everything. It’s everything Azriel was hoping for - to be given a chance.

Some sincere congratulations and best wishes wouldn't be unwelcome either but let’s not push it.

He’s suddenly aware that Eris hasn't said even one word during all this exchange. His presence is steady and comforting but the silence seems uncharacteristic for someone who can decimate people with his charisma. Is he uncomfortable to stand here in front of Azriel’s brothers, while their relationship is being poked at with a stick like a dead carcass?

"Is that your idea of a snowball fight? Standing and looking menacingly at each other?" Lucien materializes out of nowhere, like he suddenly sprang from the box at the slightest mention of his mate.

“Yes, as you can see we are changing the formula this year,” Cassian snorts, throwing the snowball in his hand higher and higher, like he’s itching to put it in someone's face.

Lucien eyes the bouncing snowball warily for a moment and then his gaze goes to Azriel's and Eris's clasped hands. He doesn't seem surprised even one bit and a gnawing suspicion bites Azriel in the ass.

"You knew as well?"

Does everyone fucking knew? When Cassian said ‘the whole inner circle’ Azriel somehow didn’t think that it meant they were discussing his private life with Lucien as well.

"Yes. Well, ah-" Lucien is wincing in Eris's direction and Azriel turns to his lover trying not to stare accusingly.

"You told him?" It comes out extremely accusing.

"Yes.” Eris shrugs unapologetically. “It's not like Lucien would judge us."

"I honestly couldn't care less about who you fuck." Lucien is quick to assure.

Azriel can only stare and stare and stare. He didn’t anticipate the blow coming from this direction.

"Who else did you tell?”

Now, finally, Eris is starting to look a bit guilty.

"I might have told my mother as well."

"You told your mother?"

Eris's eyes become even more shifty and now Azriel is sure they’ve only scratched the surface.

"Who else?" he asks with a sense of impending doom.

"All my other brothers. And my second in command. And my stableboy, he’s a really nosey bastard. And judging by his comments I'm sure my mom informed Helion by now but that's not on me."

The only thing Azriel is capable of doing now is gaping. Eris just went and told half of his fucking court, didn't he?

"You spend a lot of time in Autumn, what was I supposed to tell them? That we are playing chess? Some of them are dumb, but not that dumb."

No. Apparently no one is as dumb as Azriel. He might be the dumbest spymaster ever. He was the only person still thinking that their relationship was a secret, when everyone in Azriel's and Eris's families and probably dozens of other fae talked about it freely with each other during their morning tea.

How are you Helion? Do you know that Azriel is fucking Eris? Oh sure, even my handmaiden knows, yesterday I heard people talking about it at the market…

"I'm not ashamed of you." Eris’s voice is suddenly very serious and something grips Azriel’s heart painfully at the implication that Azriel might be.

"I'm not ashamed of you as well," he says quickly but it doesn't erase this suffocating feeling of guilt. He didn’t exactly behave like someone who is not ashamed. Did Eris feel like he was some dirty secret, worthy only of sweeping under the carpet?

“That’s all very sweet but the snow is going to melt if we will stand here for one fucking minute longer.” Cassian looks like he reached the end of his patience so Azriel packs all his feelings in his pocket and dutifully starts rubbing snow in Cassian’s face. He will talk to Eris later. He will apologize and grovel and do other things to prove that he really cares, that he’s proud and not embarrassed at all. Right now there's a snowball fight to win.

They do manage to have fun in the end. After Rhysand alleviates all his hurt feelings by bombarding Azriel with snowballs, that’s it. Throwing each other face-down in the piles of snow seems to marvelously dissipate all the tensions.

Azriel assumed, again very wrongly, that the fight will be easier to win while having an obvious ally in the field. Eris turned out to be much more of a distraction than anything else though, with his hair mussed, cheeks pink from the frost, snowflakes on his eyelashes. Azriel stopped counting times when he got hit while staring at his lover sometime after twenty.

Usually he would be much more disgruntled to lose a fight but this time he just cannot find the will to care. Not when he gets to sit in the Cabin's huge bathtub, soaking in the hot water, while having naked Eris relaxing between his thighs and leaning on his chest. They did give up on the birchin in favor of this and he cannot possibly be more pleased and satisfied.

“I seem to recall you bragging about usually winning the snowball fight.” Azriel’s satisfaction seems to ebb away a little with Eris’s quip.

“You were distracting me.”

“I did nothing of the sort.”

“You very much did.”

“Care to say what exactly I did?”

“You were looking pretty.”

Eris snorts and lets his head fall back to Azriel’s shoulder and Azriel distracts himself by stroking Eris’s wet hair out of his forehead and feeling blissful about the fact that he can.

"My mother wants to meet you, you know. She's still a bit nonplussed about this whole strangling me at the High Lords meeting so you will probably have to say that you're sorry but other than that she's overjoyed that you are making me happy."

"Am I?"

"Didn't you notice that as well?"

This reminds Azriel just how dumb he is when it comes to things pertaining to relationships. He probably should have just talked with Rhys at the beginning of things and spared himself months of torment and Eris months of thinking that somebody is ashamed of him.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he tries again, though he very much doubts that the damage can be reversed just as easily.

"I never thought you were. And just so you know, I love you too."

The words make Azriel much warmer than the hottest bathwater ever could and he closes his arms around Eris’s shoulders a little tighter.

"I'm sorry I said it first in front of everyone".

"I don't mind. I'm sorry that I told everybody about our relationship and didn't inform you.”

“Why didn't you?”

“You didn't seem to be ready. I didn't want to force you or rush you into anything but I had to talk with someone or I would go crazy. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to brag to everyone interested that I managed to snatch the great Night Court’s Shadowsinger for myself.”

Azriel hides his snort in Eris’s hair.

"The great Night Court’s Shadowsinger is all yours.”

“Good.”

Good. Yes, that’s the word, it’s all good now. Azriel finally feels truly peaceful and truly relaxed, without the stress of hiding this relationship constantly gnawing at his consciousness. He could very well stay here forever, closed in a small, cozy space with Eris in his arms, a little tired after physical workout, but not tired enough not to start something more. They are both already naked after all, it seems like a wasted opportunity not to utilize it.

“How awkward do you think it is for Lucien to sit there with your brothers, naked?” Eris asks and promptly shuts all of Azriel’s thoughts about physical intimacy.

“It's very concerning that you keep circling back to this subject.”

“You will have to take me there some year, to alleviate my curiosity.”

“Over my dead body.”

He will sooner level the birchin with the ground. All the birchins in the Night Court in fact.

“What exactly do you think will happen when your brothers see my naked body? They are both mated. To females.”

“Yeah and I don't recall them showing their naked partners all around just because they are already mated.”

“Are you sure? Because I remember Feyre being practically naked the last time you officially visited the Court of Nightmares.”

The idea of Eris ogling Feyre's almost bared body is raising all his hackles all at once. It’s almost as bad as the cursed topic of his naked brothers.

“What are you trying to achieve with this discussion?” Azriel asks darkly.

Eris raises his proud chin with studied nonchalance and smiles serenely.

“I’m trying to get you mad with jealousy so you will fuck me in this bathtub.”

Azriel doesn't have to be told twice.

#azris #Azriel #eris vanserra #azriel x eris #azris fanfiction

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daz4i · 1 year

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your last line in the theory ask got me thinking (the "why else are we following his story like this?")

do you think there's a reason atsushi, the protagonist, is kept so passive (until recently, someone was pretty much always there to help/save him in different ways), and dazai, arguably a secondary protagonist, is kept at the center?

a theory i saw is that atsushi being in the spotlight/not in the spotlight aligns with when the book is in the spotlight/not in the spotlight, and he'll be the center piece to actually locating the book

it's always fascinated me how we're repeatedly being Told he's the protagonist, but very rarely shown it past the first chapters/first season of the anime. it's a relationship between story and protagonist i've not really seen anywhere else.

OH THIS IS SO INTERESTING TBH

so. i have a few thoughts abt this lemme number them bc it's just easier for me to organize them this way hehe

1. oooooooh love that theory abt atsushi being more in the spotlight for locating the book (and after it will be found i assume :?). it does make sense! but then it's still strange just how long it took to get there, given we're over 100 chapters, technically 5 seasons of the anime, and multiple light novels into the story and not there yet. i wonder if the story/its formatting will change to accommodate that somehow :0

2. this is more abt the last part of your ask, and this concept in general! i think something that changes bsd and the context and role of atsushi in it is to see him more as a narrator (albeit an active one) rather than the actual main character whom the story is about, like. i wanna say nick in the great gatsby (<- hasn't actually read it so don't take my word on that one specifically, but like. it's been done before is what i wanna say! just mainly in books. but that does work with bsd at the end of the day! if any manga would mimic the style of books it'd be bsd hehe), and then the main character is dazai

this does align with the light novels more, imo. while he's not the main character of most of them, he is definitely present and moving the story along, same as he is in the main story. despite that, we never see his thoughts or read anything from his pov (i've seen people describe him as "a force" bc of that before, which is interesting, but i find it sort of... dehumanizing? and therefore kinda missing the point of his arc, imo). reading bsd with this thought in mind - that the main character is actually dazai - changes the context of things a lot

[ok this next part is a very crackheaded theory on why that may be that i wrote with the expectation to later add another theory. and then i couldn't come up with another theory to fit the topic i was talking about. so i'm just gonna make it indented and if the grammar/syntax(?) doesn't make a lot of sense. this is why. sorry]

it might've been done as a vague sort of homage to no longer human and the way it's written - the novel opens and closes with the pov of another character, who found yozo's journals years after he wrote them, likely after his death too. right from the start, our view of yozo can be distorted by the way he's described by this unnamed character. in a way, they are the narrator of his story. yes, we read most of it from his own pov, but we step in and out of it through an external view of him. the way we approach him, and the way we leave him, is affected both by the "narrator" and the inn owner who knew him in his life.

if we consider dazai to be the main character of bsd, it's not that out of the question that elements of no longer human will affect it beyond dazai's character alone, and that it might slip into the meta level as well. we view dazai from an outsider's perspective - not just atsushi's, but in the light novels as well - like we technically do with yozo.

it is a bit of a stretch lol i don't know if i actually fully believe that, but it's interesting to think about it that way imo :3

3. it puts a bigger focus on the generational trauma theme of bsd. the story was dazai's, and we're just watching as atsushi "inherits" it. so the light novels describe the background of our current story - the past generation, in a sense - and the manga is the new generation, building upon what's laid out already. but, like in real life, non-metaphorical generations, just because there's a new one doesn't mean the previous gen is dead yet. you can view it as dazai being like a father and atsushi as a son, in a way. just because somehow has a kid doesn't mean their life or their own stories stop, so we get to see it. and since atsushi is like a metaphorical kid, he can't do that much yet, and still has to learn how the world works before he can

yeah i have no idea if that makes sense or if that analogy is clear or not askdjfglkh i'm sorry. this post also ended up being more messy than i thought. hope you enjoyed it anyway tho!

#dan rambles #and my god what a ramble this is #most of this is like. just food for thought. not a clear cut answer to the question. bc i truly don't know! :0 but i think it's interesting #heck maybe asagiri just thought it's an interesting way to write a story or simply got attached to dazai as he wrote more. who knows #i'd love to hear more ideas for this concept. like. the ''why'' behind this choice. if anyone has any c:

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random-writing-shit · 2 years

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Keeptober 2022

Prompt #1: Black Swan. @keeptober

1460…

“Devoid yourself from feasting on that!” Shocker yelled as a dog approached her pendant.

Shocker, aka Misty Stearling, 21 years old and a Psionopath, was one of the founding members of the Black Swan.

Over 3, 4 months ago, her friend, Leto, had proposed the idea of a rebel organization when they were stating what they would change if they were Councilors.

At first, everyone had shrugged and agreed, thinking it was a joke, but a week later, Leto had approached them each and given them a note written in a cipher they’d boredly developed in Study Hall as Level 5s.

He whispered in their ears to meet him at a certain time while dropping a temporary leaping crystal in their pockets.

Naturally, they got curious and decided to follow what he told them to.

All of them showed up at some abandoned warehouse located somewhere in the Forbidden Cities.

They were assigned tasks and roles by Leto, who told them to address him as Anonymous when meeting or mentioning him.

They were skeptical about following the idea at first, but Le- Anonymous, had reminded them of what the future could hold if they continued with their ideas, and, with that in mind, they’d all sworn to secrecy.

However, months later, seemingly no progress had been made and Misty was just about ready to tear her hair out if she heard of another failed raid on the Council’s registry files.

The dog stepped away from the pendant, but not after it sniffed it and left, relieving Misty.

She was already late for the meeting and a ruined pendant would only ruffle Anonymous’s feathers.

Misty picked up the pendant and dusted it before opening up a nearby shop door where the meeting was held.

From what little English text she’d learned from hanging around her crush best friend, Linguist, aka, Landon Ethiopia, she could read the letters S a l r s and o v n on the hanging sign.

She assumed that the store was named Saltry’s Oven, but maybe it was just the way it looked in Elvin runes.

Upon entering, Misty was bombarded with all sorts of noises and smells.

In the corner, there seemed to be a drinking competition of sorts and a man seemed to be winning. Misty squinted and realized it was Landon.

She sighed and went over to him. Landon was known for doing the most stupid-ass shit if he was drunk.

Thankfully, Landon rarely got drunk at parties, but they were only 21.

When Misty got close enough, Landon spotted her.

He smiled dumbly and put his arms around Misty.

“Miiiistyyyy!!! Drinking mates, ‘tis the fair lady I was boasting of!” his syllables were drawn out and his vowels sounded lazy.

Misty sighed and supported her friend.

“My friend, how much hath thou consumed?”

“Thirty!”

“Shots?”

“Gallons!” he giggled.

“Cheater!” a human cried from his drunken state. “T’was-hic twenty-hic nine-hic!”

Landon squished Misty’s face and said “Do not deem his words true! He is a miscreant and a fool!”

“Discontinue this infantish act! Good day, but we must take our leave.”

Misty hated the way things were going. Usually, it was her who acted like that while Landon made sure she didn’t do something stupid.

She sighed and, still supporting Landon, walked around looking for a table with their friends.

After a minute, she spotted their hooded cloaks and headed to them. Misty was trying to ignore how Landon leaned on her, but it was hard since he was leaning over to squish her face every 5 seconds.

She was sure that by the time they sat down, her face was red and rivaled the drunk blush Landon had.

Anonymous offered her a drink and was about to offer some to Landon, but took it back and replaced it with water when he saw his state.

Landon got mad, but didn’t say anything or do anything and passive aggressively sipped the water.

Anonymous sighed and clapped his hands.

“Considering our research hath forfeited to the drink, I am afraid we must discuss another topic.”

The meeting went by quickly with the discussion of their latest endeavors. Gale, or Bree, had revealed that the Council was planning on opening Atlantis, the city built for humans.

This left them in mixed feelings as they exited the pub.

Landon wouldn’t stop clinging onto Misty even when she had leapt to their shared apartment in Eternalia.

“Hath anyone spoken of thy starry eyes?”

“I do not think anyone hath made a comment so far.”

“‘Tis a shame. I have not enough honor to behold thy beauty.”

Then, Landon grabbed her face and kissed her squarely on the lips. When he pulled away, he sighed and passed out.

Misty blinked at his state and laughed.

Well, that was one roadblock cleared.

1560

Miranda, the daughter of Landon and Misty, surveilled the scene in front of her.

She was with her fellow second-gen Black Swan trainees on their debut mission.

Her parents had always told her that she’d take over as her mom since she had the Psionopath ability.

Her friend, Jaeno, would take over her father’s position. Not that she was bitter about it.

She was happy for him and celebrated him, but now, they had to focus on what they had to raid.

Mr. Anonym, their advisor, told them that for their first mission, they’d have to find out how to alter and hack the registry files within a week.

It wasn’t common knowledge, but the Registry had an operating building disguised as a human ruin in the Amazon Forest.

They had 3 training Technopaths, 2 Psionopaths, including herself, 2 Conjurers, 1 Pyrokinetic, and 1 Vanisher, but that was the best they got while the other adults were away on different jobs.

The Technopaths were set up snugly while the rest of them patrolled. They had a 5-mile radius of the place and they all made sure to cover up any visible tracks.

Miranda bumped into someone and whipped out her knife to their throat.

It was Jaeno.

She slumped disappointedly and went past him, focusing on what she had to do after she apologized to him.

Within an hour, she saw the go-signal from where they had their camp set up.

She and 1 Conjurer, Elina, would sneak in and hook up some device to the registry files.

If it proved successful, the Technopaths would produce more and use them to retrieve and/or alter a file.

If it failed, then, there was always a time for Exillium.

Miranda scaled the side of the wall, hoping that Elina was doing the same on the opposite side, otherwise the plan wouldn’t work.

When she reached the top, she took out a tool to open the hatch. When Elina arrived, she zapped the bolts connecting the hatch and unscrewed them using her telekinesis.

With combined strength, they lifted the hatch and slid down, one after the other.

What they didn’t expect was the fact that the Technopaths didn’t specify what they had to hook the machines up to, so they just second-guessed where they put them.

They rechecked if they attached the gadgets properly, and when they were sure, they levitated themselves out.

When they got back to the camp, they were scolded for forgetting to close the hatch and not checking if they were alone.

Miranda and Elina didn’t understand what they were talking about until the Technopaths told them that the gadgets had been disconnected and taken.

1660

Pyla nervously fiddled with the ring she had in her pocket.

It was not an engagement ring, unfortunately. It was a ring meant for destruction.

Within the hour, she’d have to throw it under a door crack in hopes that it did its job well and killed an entire room of human assassins.

It was wrong and went against her moral compass, but it was for a better future and the Black Swan.

Her Imparter crackled to life and the voice of her boyfriend, Ondine, whispered, “Ready yourself to toss it in 5 minutes. Be cautious, my dearest.”

“I promise.”

“When thee arrives home, we will marry.”

“Ye- wait, darling, are thee telling lies?”

“No, my love.”

The hail ended and Pyla stared at the Imparter for a minute before shaking her head and concentrating on the task at hand.

In 5 minutes, she heard a knock coming from far below the hall. It was the pattern they’d agreed on, but it seemed a bit… off.

Nevertheless, she tossed the ring under the door crack and heard the sound of a room burning down and multiple people banging on the locked door.

She was actually surprised that Fork Man actually went through with this idea, but, hey. It was for the world, right?

Pyla didn’t know how wrong she was.

It turned out that it wasn’t her friend that knocked; rather some other person. Her friend was still inside, and he had burned with the humans.

1872…

Mylla held her breath as she watched the humans that tried to conquer Atlantis drowned.

She was not sure what to feel.

The humans had wanted power and were greedy, but some were her friends and she had warned them of what could come.

Arrogant fools.

The Black Swan had tried to tell the humans to change their ways and look where that ended.

Kory, her “good friend”, saw what was going on through her head and squeezed her hand.

Mylla calmed down and squeezed back.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. Let’s just go home.”

Mylla stayed unresponsive for a minute before nodding her head sadly.

When they reached their house (they’d recently bought it and were in the middle of moving everything from their old apartment to there), Mylla made a beeline for her training room.

Kory felt her wife’s sadness, but they both knew it was for the best.

2002…

Lareia headed into the kitchen and started to unpack the boxes that held her and her wife’s kitchen equipment so that she could cook dinner.

That was the arrangement they’d agreed on when they started discussing a future together. Soni was terrible at cooking and would only burn the house down, so when Lareia felt like it, she cooked and even stress-cooked sometimes.

Just as she put a big bowl down on the table, her Imparter rang and she knocked over the flour. Lareia cursed as she answered the hail from her advisor from work, Mr. Forkle.

“This better be important or-”

“SAME-SEX COUPLES CAN HAVE CHILDREN!” he excitedly interrupted her.

The flour fell to the floor again when Lareia processed what he had said. She and Soni were planning on adopting a child and a pet, but this news changed everything.

“Wh- How? Are you sure?”

“Well, it was purely by luck and tweaking with a side dish of mistake.”

“And the proof?”

“Hold on.”

Forkle left the frame and when he came back, he held a newborn in his arms. It had dark skin and a naughty expression on its sleeping face.

“The baby’s adorable! Gender and parents?” she asked as she picked the flour up again.

“Unnamed; girl. Don’t you love your daughter?”

The flour joined the floor for the third time that day.

Lareia’s eyes widened and she froze up when she realized that the baby did look like her.

“Wh- b- how- WHEN?!”

“Let’s just say that the beta test for Project Moonlark wasn’t so successful. Your DNA, and Soni’s, fell in while you were both working on it. The baby might not have the combination we want, so it’s defective. It will still be powerful, but not as useful. I already have a couple-”

“NO!”

“No?” he repeated.

“If you’re giving her to another set of parents, you’re doing it over my dead body.”

“Are you sure? I mean, no offense, but your powers combined aren’t very-”

“Forkle, I take all offense when you say that. You just told me I have a daughter and now you’re breaking the news that you want to give her away? We might be friends, but this is out of hand.”

“I’m just saying. You’re a Polyglot-Beguiler and Soni’s a Psionopath. Those are useful powers, but-”

“But? Forkle, for once, have some compassion for a child.”

“This could change things for another couple’s life!”

“You’re asking me too much.”

“You won’t be seen as fit parents!”

Lareia plopped the flour in the bowl angrily.

“Is that what it’s about? Soni and I are both women so we can’t raise our own child?”

“No, but-”

“I don’t want to hear if there’s a ‘but.’ You’re being homophobic. I thought you’d accepted the fact that we’re some of the first same-sex couples in the Black Swan a long time ago.”

“It isn’t that, I promise!” Lareia crossed her arms and gave him a steely look. “Look, you and Soni are young. I want you both to live out your lives without caring for a baby.”

“Young?! We’re 25!” she yelled, exasperatedly. “I guess it’s okay if you did it with a horse, but if two women had a child, it’s socially unacceptable?!”

“I didn’t-”

“Don’t deny it. I’m getting my baby and I’m quitting the Black Swan. Soni might keep her job, but as long as I know what happened here, I will not work for you again.”

She ended the hail and turned off all the electricity before leaving for the Black Swan research facility that had the baby.

Lareia opened the necessary doors with her access pass.

By the time she was in Forkle’s room, her anger had cooled a bit and had reduced to a steely glare.

Forkle was still in the room, but her baby was nowhere in sight.

“Where is she?!”

“In the nursery. You better get to her before someone adopts her.”

Right then and there, Lareia slapped Forkle.

“You’re horrible.”

She stormed out of the room and ran as fast as she could to the nursery. When she slammed the doors open, she saw her crying daughter being picked up by an unknown couple.

Lareia stomped over to them and grabbed her baby as gently as she could. When she nestled her baby into her arms, she stopped crying.

“That’s our baby.” the man said angrily.

“Wrong. She’s my baby. She might have been conceived accidentally, but she’s very much mine. We can run her through the DNA test if it will please you.”

The man huffed, but his wife agreed to it.

Lareia went over to the DNA testing section of the nursery and put some of her baby’s tears on the child's side with her finger. And for her side, she licked the slot for the parents, careful not to jostle her baby.

The machine took both DNA samples and studied them for a minute before spitting out a confirmation that they were related.

The woman sighed and said, “You may keep your baby. I’m sorry I doubted you. It’s just that my husband and I have wanted children for so long that we considered adopting the next opportunity that came our way.”

Lareia softened herself.

“Well, I’m sorry for snatching her away from you. My wife and I have always wanted a child of our own as well. It’s not biologically possible, so when I heard I had a daughter, I just- I don’t know what got into me. I’m usually the cool-headed one.”

Lareia expected the woman to foam at the mouth with queerphobia, but she just looked startled.

“I’m really sorry if I disgust you, but not really.”

This managed to wipe the look off the woman’s face into a laugh.

“I’m so sorry for laughing. It’s just that my sister is exactly like that. My sister just had a newborn daughter with her wife, Lesedi. I was just so surprised at how casual you were with admitting.”

She just shook her head.

“It shouldn’t be that way. Elven society really should be open.”

Extra:

Soni entered the house, exhausted and her hands full with take-out. She’d spent the entire day, running errands for the Black Swan.

All she wanted to do was cuddle with her wife until they both fell asleep.

Unfortunately, said wife was nowhere to be seen or heard.

Soni tried to keep herself calm, but she failed. Her wife wouldn’t leave the house when she knew Soni would be home soon, right?

What if-

Her thoughts were, thankfully, interrupted when she heard loud sounds coming from their room. The sounds were then followed by the sound of her wife’s familiar creative curses and the sound of a baby crying.

Wait, baby crying?! She wouldn’t have adopted a baby without her agreement. Probably.

Sighing, she went up the stairs in search of an explanation. When she got there, she saw Lareia holding a baby’s head to her shoulder while rocking side to side and humming something.

Lareia cheered up at the sight of Soni and motioned for her to join

her.

Soni reluctantly walked over to her wife just to stare at the tiny, dark-skinned infant.

“Should I even ask? Or did someone leave a baby on our doorstep?”

“She’s mine.”

Soni looked at her skeptically before Lareia burst into laughter.

“I’m confused on what to do or feel.”

“Oh my Eternalia, you’re so oblivious, darling.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that term of endearment until I get my explanation.”

This made her laugh more.

“Okay, I’ll stop laughing and explain it to you.”

She led Soni to their bed and explained everything.

By the time she was done, Soni had their daughter in her arms and the most overprotective look in her eyes.

Lareia loved the sight and just died when Soni and their daughter, who they’d decided to name Eleina, fell asleep. She snapped a quick picture and kissed them both on the forehead on her way out.

Extra Extra:

2017

The sound of the doorbell rang through the house.

Lareia got up from where she was sketching on the kitchen table. Soni and Eleina were out shopping and would be home in a few minutes. That couldn’t be them.

Nevertheless, she got up and opened the door. Standing in front of her was a girl that looked Eleina’s age. She had dark skin, black dreadlocks with a blue streak, and turquoise eyes.

“Um, hello, who are you?”

“Does Soni Ethiopia live here?”

Lareia internally sighed. Interactions like this usually generate homophobia.

She tensed up before answering the girl.

“Yes, but-”

“Oh no- I’m not here to voice my opinions. I’m looking for a good Psionopath teacher. My aunt told me that she had an acquaintance with a powerful Psionopath for a wife.”

Something seemed to nag Lareia that she should have recognized who this girl was.

“I’m… sorry? Come on in. I know who you’re talking about.”

The girl perked up a bit and followed her into the house. Lareia led her into the living room where she interrogated the girl.

“So, could you tell me who you are?”

“Maruca Chebota. My aunt said that you wouldn’t recognize me, so she said to give the name of Lady Aura.”

Lareia thought for a bit and it clicked that the woman she was talking about was the one she’d bumped into 15, 14 years ago when Eleina was barely a day old.

“Ahh. I remember your aunt. She was a very understanding woman. How is she?”

“She’s doing great and she has kids of her own now. Are you Soni?”

Lareia looked at her blankly for a moment and burst out into laughter.

“Am I Soni? Ah- ha! Ah, kid, you’ve got a sense of humor. No one’s ever mixed me up for my wife.”

Just then, the door opened and Soni and Eleina burst in, multiple bags floating in front and behind them.

“Hey, love. Who’s this young lady?”

People I keep locked up (tell me if you want in or out. Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged out of loyalty):

@gay-otlc

@even-if-in-another-time

@xanadaus

@booksscienceandmath

@hunkyhair-my-beloved

@ultralazycreatorfan

@gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss

@stellar-lune

@bookwyrminspiration

@orionalumn

@an-ungraceful-swan

@chaotic-bumblebee-agenda

@sunset-telepath

@when-wax-wings-melt

@bianavacker-is-bi-as-hell

@arcadialedger

@fintan-pyren

@aromantic-fucker

@black-swans-and-moonlarks

@lady-hunkyhair

@if-only-i-was-fictional

@stellasencen

@florida-fruity-frog

@fandomsarefriends-notfood

@the-abandoned-schoolbus

@mynamisfab

@katniss-elizabeth-chase

@winterfireice

@camelspit

@that-glasses-dog

@presidentroarie

@that-multi-fandom-mess

@arson-anarchy-death

@constant-sapphic-breakdown

@squishmallow36

@callas-pancake-tree

@rusted-phone-calls

@thebestbookshelf

@everenvacker

@axels-corner

@coldtragedytaco

@life-is-soup-i-am-fork1

@thefruitsaladdemon

@aroace-dadwinstan

@synonymroll648

@kamikothe1and0lny

Go check out my main: @/never-mourn-the-good if you want

#keeptober 2022 #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #black swan #woo! first time to have a post in keeptober!#maruca chebota #mr forkle #kotlc forkle #keeptober #keeptober2022

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

Note

Of course! I'm glad my Unmitigated Braindumping has given you more opportunities to talk about them at length I never know where to start myself, so I'm very thankful for the jumping-off point that first post provided (and that many of your posts provide!) This has been a wonderful experience. (Also, uh, since these "bookends" work for more personal stuff--I am No Longer Sick and I'm happy to hear you seem to be doing a bit better!)

Reading it over, I figure the event transcript itself is okay to share, so here it is on my test wiki! It's, well, it's about the same length as this ask will probably end up, and it's a "sequel" to his first event. A thing I really like about Mine's RGGO content is that It's All Connected; the narratives continue to build upon each other to this day. That's not the case for almost any other character.

And totally! With Mine in specific, I feel there's enough reductiveness on "both sides" regarding his sexuality and regarding Daigo that trying to put forward any particular stance would be detrimental on top of the reasons we've discussed. It's probably a bit weird to say this about a fictional character, but Mine's a whole person independent of the men in his life, y'know?

I actually fell for the red herring with Katase myself until the Kanda scene we talk about below haha, so I guess that's fair enough on your friend's part. Definitely the case that the ending makes it clear that's not how it is, though.

Mine's interactions with women are always fascinating to me, especially in contrast to Kanda as you mentioned, but also in contrast to the main series protagonists. Just the way he immediately drops everything to help the woman Kanda attempts to assault when he and Kanda first meet almost on instinct says a lot to me when almost every protagonist occasionally acts like it's an inconvenience to Them to intervene.

I'd say a lot of it comes from growth on the writers' parts in terms of understanding that, hey, being totally complacent in Kanda's actions is scummy. So I appreciate that Mine is by far the one who does the most to minimize Kanda's harm (up to and including having him killed, of course, but also getting him arrested in that event as well as physically stopping him--and apparently dozens of others, since every woman who picks him up in that event is apparently a woman he saved lmao.)

I feel like Mine, when mentally stable, has this almost "chivalrous" quality to him. I'm kind of reminded of Hijikata as well in that they both insist on calling every younger woman they meet "miss"; it's a little old-fashioned, perhaps condescending, but still kind of cute (biased though lol, the ratios on those three things may vary.) There's a lot I want to talk about on this topic with regard to Hijikata, the historical account, and other "definitive" Shinsengumi media, but I'll probably save that for another ask.

But on Mine and relationships, there's so much to unpack there! The old joke is absolutely applicable. And because he was talking about how he's "never 'picked anyone up' in his life" in that event, agreeing to all these "dates" but never enthusiastically (I think the one and only time he didn't seem actively unhappy was in the finale to the accompanying card's character story), I do wonder to what degree his passivity would play a role in other romantic encounters. Agreeing to whatever those women wanted whether he really wanted it himself.

Rewinding to Katase a bit, while that was obviously not romantic, I think the interaction in the finale could perhaps provide insight as to a problem he may face in romantic relationships. Which is his refusal (or inability) to be emotionally honest while sort of expecting the other party to be perfectly attuned to his emotions.

Because like, I don't think Katase /didn't/ care about him whatsoever, I think she just took his "I'm fine"(s) at face-value and took a "business as usual" approach without realizing how much that would upset him in his current state. I would be mortified in her position if I called up my boss on an urgent matter and he said he was "fine" and then just completely stopped responding before hanging up lol, especially upon learning he committed suicide shortly thereafter.

But that interaction is (or appears to be) something he emotionally experienced as a "betrayal" despite being totally unintentional, so I have to wonder how much of a pattern it is in his life; he's been concealing his real problems and saying he was """fine""" since he was a kid, after all. I obviously can't say anything conclusive, but it "feels like" there's something there with the way he sort of lumped in the women he's been with with his coworkers when talking about how "they'll all abandon ship sooner or later" or whatever.

Like, I don't doubt that some (or perhaps many) women would like him for shallow reasons, but all of them…? Hm. Not Sure. That said, there's definitely an argument to be made he was seeing hostesses and sex workers (seeing him talk to a hostess is one of my top 10 reasons for wanting him to be a protagonist at some point tbh), but I guess there's also an argument to made that those types of relationships are overtly "fake" and "paid-for" and so wouldn't appeal to him? I wish we actually got to see some of that when Kanda took him to cabaret clubs.

And hey, you're totally right about Aoki's secretary! That was something that stood out to me as well. Her screen-time is roughly comparable to Katase iirc, so it's puzzling. Jo's leftover files really are such an enigma, because everyone's got unused voice lines and stuff (and they're still interesting to listen through for "another dimension" to the characters you don't get to see in-game), but there's so much that's Unique to him. I can only hope some of those ideas are explored elsewhere.

Kanda's insult is a lot of fun to examine for the exact reasons you mentioned, because on the surface and in a literal sense, the translation is "off the mark"--but is it? I'm not sure how much crossover there is between cultures in this regard, but I know when I came out as bisexual to my family, there were a lot of accusations thrown around that I'd become "too Westernized." It's definitely something I'd like to ask native speakers about if I can get over the embarrassment; perhaps if that's no help, one of my books or papers on LGBT issues in Japan might have an answer.

I'm definitely under the impression that both localization teams understood Mine wasn't straight. I might be a little bit biased with regard to the original, since, like I said, that was actually the scene I began to "suspect" Mine was gay lmao. But there was an effort to maintain accuracy in the finale even if the wording is superseded by Y3R's intensity. In that respect I kind of wonder about the reason for the change, because it addresses the homophobia but not the inaccuracy.

Right! I do give Mine some credit for attempting to be cautious with Kanda and Daigo, of course. It does seem like his misanthropy (or his tendency to spiral into it when things go wrong, anyway) has a lot to do with his guardedness. And he definitely does have a tendency to look to the future to the detriment of his ability to consider the present (or even that the future might not turn out exactly as he predicts). "The pinnacle of hindsight bias" is the perfect way to put it.

I think that's very much evident in how much of his mental state hinges on things he takes for granted. He'll finally be happy now that he has Daigo to dedicate his life to, because of course Daigo will be around forever (spoilers: he won't.) He'll finally be happy now that he can take over the Tojo, because of course the Tojo will both accept him without a fuss and be around forever (spoilers: it won't).

But I very much agree this is exactly the sort of thing that makes him such a captivating and relatable character! It's been a lot of fun exploring that side of him with you, just as it's been a lot of fun exploring the Arakawas. Of course, I would also be interested in your take on Arakawa and femininity whenever you're feeling up to it.

It was no trouble, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my recommendations! Also gave me the push to get started on Hero with a friend and am excited to see how much that changes my perception of the special! Tsugaru's very much got things going on and I'm excited for the rewatch. Eventually! I honestly have no idea where I stopped watching Pure haha, but I recall wondering if her dependence on her family would just end up being transferred onto Toru, so I'm glad that's not the case at least.

I really appreciate the vote of confidence regarding examining the localization further! That means a lot to me. I think it was especially worth emphasizing Jo and Ikumi's youth because both dubs make the somewhat odd choice to have Jo voiced by the same actor (whereas teen Arakawa is given a different actor), and the model doesn't really have the same wide-eyed innocence Tsutsumi did when he was younger.

I did notice Tsutsumi's performance was much more animated than for Jo as an adult though, and it was a lot more "obvious" when he was saying things he didn't mean, so I appreciate the effort to make up for it in terms of Tsutsumi's acting and probably-Yokoyama's direction.

It's probably hard to believe these days haha, but if anything, people were significantly more vicious towards Arakawa than towards Jo at launch. It just got to be too much to take after a while, especially because I had to see it from ~mutuals~ too. Like you guys know that man's my namesake and that I can see what you're saying, but you're not even going to tone it down a little bit? Okay I Guess.

It felt really aimless to me, because it was like, what, "betraying" Ichi? Having a "weak" "redemption?" I'm not going to say Arakawa Did Nothing Wrong, and I'm sure even he would never be satisfied with whatever he tried to do to make it up to Ichi (he never was when it came to Masato), but he Kind Of Died before he had the chance. Sometimes that's how it is, but Ichi was always going to forgive him.

Of course I should be happy people loved Ichi enough to feel so protective over him, and I kind of am, but I can't fully put my experiences aside either. I don't want to harp on all that too much now that things are looking better though lol.

All of that aside, I'm glad Princess Toyotomi was an enjoyable enough experience! Although it's not as direct as Honnouji Hotel, I think there are still some time-bending aspects with reincarnation and such that history buffs can enjoy. For example, Matsudaira was Tokugawa Ieyasu's family name, and Sanada was the name of a samurai he respected greatly although they were on opposing sides. And of course, the Sanadas as a whole served as vassals to Toyotomi (after the Honnouji incident, coincidentally, haha.)

Chako was also named after the mother of Toyotomi's heirs, so I suppose one could have seen that coming if they were aware of that, but I really, really wanted Daisuke to be the princess too! She (and Sanada's acceptance of her) were very much one of my favorite things about the movie as a whole. I appreciate that, whenever I've seen transgender identities and gender non-conformity come up in Nakai and Tsutsumi's works, that's generally how it goes. Most of their works tend to narratively align with their viewpoints in real life so it's cool.

Speaking of, family issues are very much a pattern in Tsutsumi's characters! Most of what I could say here is a bit spoiler-y, so I won't, but I hope you'll notice more as you go on to experience other roles.

I was hoping to reply to the other asks here, but that got to be Too Hot To Handle (read: way too long), so I'll section them off into a different ask (that you'll probably end up seeing before this one haha). Hopefully they're a bit easier to respond to separately as well. Thank you for your time, and sorry to take up so much of it!

I love how all of Mine’s stories are connected, it feels like some sort of atonement for the fact that Mine wasn’t going to be RGGO’s main protagonist anymore: if we can’t have him in a brand new story, then we can at least make up for it by having multiple prologue stories line up together. HUGE huge thank you for sharing this with me, it was an absolute honor to be able to read this!

It’s incredibly interesting to see Mine and his line of thinking in this story. At the end of Y3, Mine practically explodes with anger towards the people who betrayed him back then, yet with Tashiro he’s almost entirely the opposite. I guess in this particular situation though, Mine managed to find an optimistic outcome of that deceit: because Mine was booted from his company, he was able to find the thing he really wanted with the Tojo Clan. I can’t explain it properly, but that’s a sweet mentality for Mine to have honestly considering his displeasure with the society around him: something terrible happened to him (and Tashiro even tried to worsen the wound), but having been able to make the most out of the situation, he was almost prepared to let Tashiro go unpunished (I suppose this ties back into Mine’s whole thing of not striking unless attacked first). As a final small note on the story and translation, I love the sprinkle of French in his dialogue. As we’d talked about before, it’s just small details like that that help enhance his Westernism and I appreciate it immensely.

I totally agree on Mine being his own man/character and wanting to focus on that! That’s something I’m always worried about when I post honestly, as weird as that might seem. It’d be ridiculous for me to try to deny relationships between characters are some of my favorite aspects of RGG, but I also try to highlight the characters on their own. The reason why examining the relationships in RGG is so fun is because of how the characters are by themselves, and ergo the type of characters they become when put with others/how certain qualities of their characters become enhanced when in a (any sort of) relationship. In that, relationships help deepened characters, but they definitely shouldn’t be reduced to ONLY the relationships they have.

As for Mine’s relationship with women in RGGO stories, that’s an aspect of Mine I adore too, and I agree on the whole ‘address women as ‘miss’’ bit: it is old fashioned and potentially condescending, but the over-polite nature of it is endearing all the same to me personally. Just in general, Mine’s very polite and I feel like that’s a detail that’s overlooked at times, but it’s a detail I love all the same. Moreover, Mine generally being- at the very least- a decent person does remind me of Hijikata now that you mention it (despite his scary reputation, apparently almost all personal accounts with him only ever said nice things about him and how amiable he was), not to mention the virtuous nature of kirins, to go back to his original symbol. To extend on that, it does just solidify that Mine is a kirin at heart: he respects the people who haven’t done anything wrong or egregious, but he’s harsh on the people who do injustice (and even then, his tolerance is incredibly high. Back to the subject of when Mine first meets Kanda, he doesn’t punish Kanda for acting inappropriately with the woman, he only engages in a fight with him to get his attention. I appreciate that Mine still wanted to make sure the woman he helped was alright though, making sure she was able to walk first before putting his full attention back to Kanda).

I agree that Mine probably doesn’t pursue relationships himself and more so lets them come to him (especially if the ending of that Okinawa story where Mine’s approached by a woman on the beach is any indication or hint at his past relationships), and I especially agree that due to his closed-off nature, he ultimately jeopardizing any romantic partners he could have had. Ergo, I agree in that Katase shouldn’t be put at fault for dismissing Mine’s feelings (while we’re on the subject, I’ve always wanted to explore how Katase might have reacted to Mine’s death. I know she’s considerably an irrelevant character, but I can’t help but wonder how she might have felt and if she ever felt guilty for something she had no control over). I personally always live by the idea of saying what you mean, and as a result I don’t get upset with people if they can’t discern I’m not okay if I don’t tell them that. As for Mine, it’s painfully evident that’s now how he operates: he fully expects others to be on the same page as him, and as we see that becomes incredibly detrimental to him. It’s a consequence of his need to be independent, I believe: he’s become so focused on himself, he either isn’t comfortable with expressing the truth and relying on others emotionally, or he doesn’t know how to do it.

To expand on the hypotheticals of his past relationship, it really is hard to discern what ‘type’ of women he was entangled with (as in whether they were hostesses/sex workers or women he met naturally), and trying to find out which one is significant to understand the depth of his grievances. We know Mine isn’t fond of money- he understands it’s a tool to achieve what he wants, but it doesn’t make him happy (it wouldn’t be a stretch to even say it disgusts him in some aspects, or at least the greed it brings out of people turns him off). So would he seek out workers to get a sample of a human bond? But again, he’d know right at the start that bond would be artificial, so the only conclusion I can come to is that he really did have the capability to attract women on his own (or at least he didn’t have to ‘buy’ them, per say). And of course, the reason they didn’t work out could have been due in part to multiple reasons: women being with him only for shallow reasons, Mine’s inability to be sincere with others, potentially his sexuality, or maybe some mixture of these factors. Not all relationships are the same, after all. BUT this is all speculation at this point, and unfortunately I doubt we’ll get a concrete backstory on Mine’s relationships (but I do agree in being curious as to how he behaves around hostesses…)

I’m not overly versed on LGBT issues and terminology in the East, so I can’t say my input would be anything of much value. All I know is that- at least in the West as well- the concept of LGBT seems to be very ‘western’ for whatever reason (or at least, I see a lot of people get upset with Japanese franchises having LGBT elements and then claiming they’re ‘affected by the West’. Maybe it’s a two-way street for some). But yeah, all-in-all, it really is an interesting case of ‘technically this is wrong translation wise, but character wise it’s accurate’.

As for Mine and his tendency to be ‘short sighted’, that’s precisely how he operates! He very much has the mentality of ‘there’s no problem now, so don’t worry about it’, or at the very least he is very present-minded (outside of business endeavors, of course) and focuses on his happiness in the moment. I can’t fault him for that, though: again, it’s a very human trait to have, even if a little naive, so to say, but again it’s greatly compelling and relatable.

On to Jo though, it definitely was a weird choice to not have child Jo dubbed with a different actor- I know some boys can have deep voices by 15, but it really is jarring to watch and doesn’t help keep me in the mindset that they’re kids at the time. But you’re right in Tsutsumi’s effort to try and sound more youthful at least: it’s not perfect of course, but it’s definitely easier to discern that he’s supposed to be younger (and definitely fits better based on the interpretation the director might have wanted. For the Japanese dub, Jo sounds a lot more carefree about the situation and like he’s just ready to go home- like the circumstances are more of an annoyance than anything severe. Whereas in the English dub, Jo sounds more remorseful- or at least like he’s struggling with moving on from what happened. But that’s just my takeaway, of course).

About Arakawa’s negative reception though, on the surface I get it just from the premise of ‘Arakawa betrays Ichiban’. Even when I didn’t know anything about Y7 and I was just reading a quick summary of the game, I had a sour taste in my mouth after reading that part. BUT of course now I adore Arakawa. His methods were extreme and deadly, but it’s hard to come up with any alternatives for his situation (and it’s not as though he isn’t aware of the pain he put Ichiban through with his elaborate plan. It’s just another case of not everything a character does can be categorized as a purely good or purely evil action), and it’s unfortunate we didn’t get to see Arakawa try to make things up to Ichi after all they went through.

Onto Princess Toyotomi, I wish I was as much of a history buff for Japan as I am with American history: I love history so much, so I’m sure if I’d known these bits before watching I would’ve appreciated the movie and its details a whole lot more (not that I didn’t enjoy it of course, but having that context definitely would’ve been fun to notice while viewing)! It’s also sweet to hear that Nakai and Tsutsumi seem to be accepting of LGBT themes (I try not to look too deep into actors since I’m scared I’ll find terrible things and it’ll make viewing media they’re in awkward, but so far I’m glad that they appear to be decent guys)! On that note, I am absolutely excited to watch more Nakai and Tsutsumi works when I get the chance- I’m curious what you’re referring to when you talk about spoilers, but I’ll find that out seen enough I guess!

And I also have replies to your second ask, though I'll put it below the cut just to keep things separated and organized.

Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it’ll turn out great (and if you ever need the tweet, I have it bookmarked and screenshotted- I can never be too certain on whether Twitter’s going to nuke a tweet nowadays…)! As for Masato though, I’d be absolutely surprised if he somehow survived. My reason to doubt as much were the funeral scenes, but with Mine- even if unlikely without repercussions- it’s not impossible to survive a fall from that height, so yeah RGG if you drop the confirmed He’s Fine I have no promises on being Not Annoying LMAO

In reference the nature of Jo and Arakawa’s relationship, I’m glad to have given you a chance to talk about their relationship further (it really is an awkward subject to navigate: it’s fair and reasonable to assume SOMETHING is there obviously, we just can’t put an exact label on it.)! And I am open to criticisms, whether that was the intent or not, otherwise I’m a fan of peer review and looking at notes on a subject together, so no worries!

I’ve always been a big fan of turn-based RPGs, so RGG’s push towards the genre’s been really fun to watch! Again, while you certainly can do storytelling through gameplay for action games, RPGs inherently being more story based definitely lend a hand in being able to inject smaller details better (especially in regards to attack/ability and weapon names that highlight aspects of a character)!

Thank you about my latest comic, it means the world that you enjoyed it despite how simple it is! It’s unfortunate I never draw Ichi since whenever I do, I always have fun with how different and expressive I make him (most of it’s due in part to wanting to make a homage to Akira Toriyama since if the gameplay of Y7’s going to be affected by Ichi’s love for Dragon Quest, then I might as well draw him with Toriyama in mind. But at this point, it’s just fitting to draw him so exaggerated)! And I definitely wouldn’t say your contribution was ‘small’, our back and forth’s were a pretty significant reason for me to have the energy and inspiration to draw the thing in full, so thank you again for chatting with me so much!

The subject of Hijikata and his poetry’s one of my favorite topics (if not majorly because according to people who read them, his poems weren’t all that good despite their famous nature nowadays), and I’m glad they managed to sneak in bits about him and in poetry in Ishin (like him reading in his room, and as you said, the quote at the end)! I can definitely see Mine wanting to thoroughly analyze Hijikata’s poetry just on the basis of being an art buff and wanting to extract as much meaning as he could from the writing (but again, considering the questionable quality of them, I can just as easily see pretty much everyone else looking at it without much regard lmao). On that note though, I’d be interested to see how the poems’ meaning ultimately become reworked in your vision!

Talking more about Ishin, Arakawa and Jo would have fit well with Kondo and Hijikata’s roles, I agree! Honestly, if it weren’t for Mine and how popular he is (which I’m infinitely grateful for, I shouldn’t have to say), it wouldn’t be hard for me to imagine Jo filling in his spot (especially if they were willing to swap in Zhao for Baba; they weren’t afraid to switch out RGG characters for other RGG characters. Though imaging Y7Jo having that slightly friendly air that Hijikata does definitely would have been… something to see lmao). Kondo was also considerably sneaky in Ishin too, wasn’t he? That definitely would have been a good fit for how lowkey Arakawa tries to keep things in Y7.

The complicated nature of Ichi and Jo’s relationship is such a neat subject. As you said, I’m sure part of Jo’s frustrations with Ichi lie in how Ichi’s seeming aloof nature reminds him of his own careless attitude as a kid: nothing like old-fashioned projection to make you irked by someone, right. On the note of Arakawa though, it will be interesting to see how they interact now that they aren’t technically ‘required’ to with Arakawa gone and there’s technically no more need to keep the peace. As I said in some ask ago, I do hope they have a more neutral bond come LaD8; I don’t think it’s reasonable to think they can ever be as close as Ichi and Arakawa are, especially how shut off Jo is, but it would be nice to see them more civil and relatively on the same page (maybe despite Arakawa being gone, they can at least appreciate his memory together right. Not that Jo seems too earnest to crack on sharing his personal feelings about Arakawa anytime soon, though, but maybe one day Ichi can convince him lmao).

Shifting a bit, I do wonder why Kiryu was responsible for making sure Jo was going to be alright. That seems so weirdly specific, especially when Kiryu doesn’t seem to have any connection with the Arakawa family. I hope Gaiden answers that question too!

And if you ever want to talk about Ryuji, feel free to write in about him! It’s been a while since I’ve focused on Y2’s story, but I at least remember his scenes well and I’m pretty solid on his character!

#long post #like REALLY long post #holder until i think of a tag for these asks #snap chats #i think i had additional notes i wanted to put down here but i've forgotten them at this point OOPS #im glad to get you interested in picking up hero! and tho i can't remember exactly what episode or range of episodes of pure you mean #if you ever decide to restart the show i hope you enjoy it !#also i probably could have. cropped each 'ask' so i can better put my responses to those and make it neater but uhhh #i only realized that after i copy/pasted everything so oops

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blogofageminimoon · 12 days

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self reflection: friendships in your 20's

i'm 24 years old, turning 25 in november. i've always had the same group of friends since high school and our friendship has extended into our 20's. however, i've cut ties with people within this circle and my friendship group is smaller than before.

one of my old friends is in a long term relationship and whenever we hang out, a lot of our conversations are simply revolved around her bf and our work life. i feel like we don't have much in common anymore. also, there have been times where she brings him out to girls days unannounced or last minute. the way she approaches it is along the lines of "oh hey, btw my bf is coming." or he just happens to be there. it leaves no room for rejection. i'm not a huge fan of her bf but at the same time it's not really my problem. as long as they're happy that's all that matters. at our day and age, i suspect that he is more of a priority in her life which makes sense; because it's a relationship. they could possibly get married. although, i think this distance has shown the lack of reciprocation on her end. as a result, i haven't made much effort in this friendship. there's no bad blood, we're just not as close anymore.

the second friend is one that i've been in a whirlwind with. i've definitely changed as a person from high school compared to now. i think this has been more of a toxic friendship but maybe i was too blind to notice the red flags. or i've possibly changed to the point where i don't tolerate bullshit anymore.

Conversations have to revolve around her. Lately, i've noticed that we could be having a lovely conversation and somehow it always turns back to her or her love/work life. A lot of our conversations have been very repetitive simply because she turns it around to herself. It's just been annoying and she's been lacking substance, making conversations boring.

Peer pressure. This friend has very particular interests and she likes having a good adrenaline rush. She's into a lot of physical activities such as skiing, road trips, sports and going to the gym. When inviting friends for a hangout, a lot of times she asks to do these sorts of activities. Whether myself or our other friends are not interested, unavailable, or whatever.. she always finds a way to fight back. A lot of the time people are pressured to say yes. Or it just comes off as passive aggressive. Back in high school, I think I was more inclined to say yes to these activities. Now, I think that's changed. (Although I do like a fun physical activity here and there). Ultimately, I've noticed whenever we do these activities, she loves taking photos and filming videos for social media. To the point where the activity becomes revolved around that. I feel like that's why I haven't felt like doing these activities, because it feels like we're doing them to be influencers.

Your interests don't matter. Bridging off from the last topic, I could propose going to a restaurant, a food festival, or the beach. A lot of the time she shuts it down. Either says "been there, done that." Or it's boring. Then she goes back to suggest activities such as go karting or a stunt gym. Friendships deserve compromise on activities from both parties. Also, I could just send her a funny meme or something and she'll find a way to roast it. I love Harry Styles so I send her some edits just for funsies and I get hounded for it. Meanwhile she goes off and sends me F1 edits and expects me not to roast it? Girl.

Lack of effort. It has to go her way. She works a 9-5 and I do shift work, so you could see how our schedules don't always align. She's free on weekends, for me it's a hit or miss. I see her post things on social media indicating she's occasionally free on weeknights which tend to work better for me. She asks for a weekend (very last minute, I may add), I tell her I have work. I propose MULTIPLE weeknights or even an alternate weekend? She GHOSTS ME. Doesn't even try to suggest another day.

She's materialistic and finds a way to use people. This aspect kind of made me ghost her for good. With all the previous points I made, 1) I don't text her as much because I'm tired of always talking about her and her life. 2) I've been saying no to hanging out with her because I'm tired of doing activities that only she's interested in. Or just not even doing the activity at all because she's focused on perfect instagram shots. 3) I don't even send her jokes, videos or memes anymore because I know she doesn't care. 4) I stopped reciprocating or making effort to hang out with her because I know she'll shut it down or just leave me hanging out there because my schedule doesn't work for her. Lastly, she's always liked the idea of a rich, bougie life. She finds ways to use people for their resources and what they have. With all these previous aspects, clearly we've distanced ourselves. All of a sudden I get a random text, "hey how are you doing?" I reply, "good hbu?" She says, "i'm good, can i use your lulu discount?" And that sort of ended it for me. I let her use it but I don't think I've really heard from her since. So now I've given up on this friendship. I refuse to message her, I've muted her, I don't plan on ever texting her. Call me salty and petty and vengeful. But I've been through shit and been in a pretty low place (you can see my education and career self reflection entries) and I'm tired of people pleasing. I've been happier than ever in a long time and I'm thriving. So fuck fake friendships.

#self reflection #friendships

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jargop-doe · 1 year

Text

Well, that just happened.

I finally blew up at my female gene donor. Woohoo.

Was working on folding my clothes, listening to music, had the TV muted because a) I don't like football and b) I didn't want to get distracted. By the way, this is ✨foreshadowing✨!

Anyhoo, my lovely brother walks in, and after (I guess) wandering around the room aimlessly for a little bit (Wasn't really paying attention because why would I? Also I am less than fond of him.), asks me where the TV remote is. Or maybe if the remote is under my clothes. I say that I don't know. He asks me to check. I ask him to wait a bit.

Maybe as much as 2 minutes passes, and he asks again. I respond with a slight bit of irritation (actually a slight bit, I'm not being particularly sarcastic yet), as he literally stood there and stared at me the entire time he was waiting. Pretty sure he asks a third time, at which point I sort of snap and ask him to be patient for more than ten seconds. My lovely female gene donor expressed that she is displeased about how I addressed him, which was fair, but I still do not appreciate it.

God dammit I'm dissociating slightly and I'm trying to do something that involves memory, this is inconvenient.

Side Note: My brother was just throwing something against the wall we share repeatedly, and I got annoyed and yelled at him to stop. My lovely male gene donor came to tell me off and found that my door was locked and made me unlock it to more politely request "that you stop that incessant banging as it is quite distracting"

Back to the main topic of my rant.

Female gene donor expressed displeasure. I gave a vague acknowledgement of this that wasn't really anything and went back to folding my clothes. Eventually my brother asks again and I tell him to wait, at which point my female gene donor forces me to remove both of my earbuds so that I can hear her speaking to me oh so clearly and look for it. I halfheartedly pick up the clothes remaining to be folded and look under them and inform the two inquiring minds that it is not there. They are of course not particularly pleased about this approach, and my female gene donor is as pleased about this as my brother is. I am told to look a bit more thoroughly.

I begin informing them that I would prefer not to as I am in the middle of a task. Somewhere through this my volume begins to raise and I am yelling so loudly that my male gene donor comes upstairs to see what is going on. I cannot remember the exact details of what I said, but the general idea is as follows:

I do not wish to look for the TV remote because I am in the middle of something. When I am doing something, the goal is generally to complete the aforementioned thing. I do not wish to look for the television remote because I have spent enough of my life failing to complete tasks because I get distracted in the middle of them by another task. I am currently folding my laundry. I will search for the remote when I have completed the task of folding my laundry. It is quite possibly under one of the tall piles of clothes I have already folded, and I am not going to disturb them for the purpose of finding the remote.

Of course, both of my gene donors found issue with this method of communication, so I rephrased the main point "I am in the middle of something and I do not wish to be distracted and fail to complete it" with less yelling. I am scolded, which I ignored completely, as I was (and frankly still am) severely angry.

After some time, I return to folding my laundry, and after completing it move the sheets on the back of the couch. Lo and behold, there lies the remote! I set the sheets aside and hand the remote to my sibling with equal amounts of passive aggression and stony politeness.

In case anyone read this and is confused, gene donor=parent. Also, the tone is more than a little bit passive aggressive, sorry about that. It's not directed at you.

#Joehn #blah blah #rant #personal vent

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skirtgauge4 · 2 years

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#men

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thecontumacious · 2 years

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Request for the boys with a gn reader who is aggressive but is that way because they've just been hurt by the people they trust?

"How strong yet gentle you are, after all."

a/n: the above quote is a translation from this song (it's so good btw and vibed with this prompt so much <3). now bcs anon didn't specify the type of aggression, i'm going to go with a verbally aggressive reader and try to stay away from more physical topics to make it easier to read for everyone!

the world is not always fair. it has always been this way. you know it, i know it, everyone does. it’s something we can’t change.

but people always say: although we can’t change it, it is our own self that needs to change how we see it. it’s up to us how we react to the unfairness of the world. it’s up to us to be strong.

yet, it still hurts so terribly, doesn’t it?

it’s not always easy to smile when the shadow of your once friends lingers next to you and family members who gave up on you. you simply don’t want to be hurt by those who betrayed you. it’s only natural humans want to avoid pain and suffering.

aggression is but a mere reaction to frustrating situations and hurtful outcomes. right?

Vox Akuma 👹🌹

400 years is a long, long time

so of course he’s seen things like these happen

he’s interacted with all sorts of people, from the most gentle and kind to the most brazen and crazed

vox understands how the wound digs into you and continues to make you suffer, causing you to be more hostile and have the tendency to be angry at minor things

it was no different for him either

there are times that you are harsh with him too, giving him back handed compliments or simply being passive aggressive

vox won’t lie and say that it doesn’t hurt him

but he also won’t deny the fact that you deep down were hurting more than he was

as i said before, he’s seen all colors of people

so he knows what’s up as to why you’re very aggressive. hence why he knows how to handle things, even if you haven’t told him what really happened

with his extreme patience and gentleness, vox will approach you slowly

he talks to you at a steady pace, ensuring that he doesn’t create more tension and more wood for your aggression to burn on

“my dear, can you listen to me for a moment?” vox tells you softly, offering his hands ready to receive you in his arms

but you were still in a fit of rage, refusing him

the demon continues to smile, stepping even closer. “only a second, love. please?”

despite being highly moody, the gentle demeanor of vox helps you calm down and stay grounded

so no matter how many times you deny his attempts to calm you down, there will always be a time where you finally will only because of vox’s incredible composure

as if the fire had finally been put out with soothing water, you curl up against vox while mumbling apologies for being so harsh on him

all vox did after that was whisper sweet nothings in your ear, cradling you into his chest

“it’s alright, my dear,” he’d mutter into your hair before pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead

all present negative and red emotions dissolve, replaced only with but the moment of you being held by vox

and for when you become aggressive with other people, vox is quick to intervene by taking you away for the time being until he can get you to calm down

“shh, hey, hey, look at me, sweet thing,” he then grabs your chin, making you pause. then he’ll just smile, kissing you

and once you’re ready to go back to the previous situation, vox knows that you’ll handle yourself better this time so he’ll let you go alone without having to be there next to you

that’s just how much he believes in you <3

once the situation has been dealt with, no longer in a state of hostility, vox will bring you into his arms again

loving headpats, gentle smiles, maybe unseiso jokes to make you laugh and of course, praises for having been able to control yourself

“you’re very strong, you know that?” he whispers, cupping your face with your forehead against his. “you’ve become an honored fighter.”

all in all, vox is someone you can lean on as he will never, ever judge you for who you were. he has the deepest understanding of how humans work among everyone else so it’s a given you’ll be safe with him ❤️

other boys utc!

Mysta Rias 🦊🔶

unlike vox, mysta will be the opposite of how he’ll react to you being a more aggressive natured person

because of this, mysta will be shrinking the first time seeing you being so harsh towards him

he’ll think that there’s something wrong with him every time it happens, wondering if there should be anything he needs to change in order for you to be happier with him

i think mysta is afraid to talk to you about it too, worried that you might get offended by it

the relationship will be super rocky at first with so much tension happening between the two of you

he considered letting you go tbh, but made up his mind when he saw you acting the same with other people

mysta watches you being angry at small things, continuing to be hostile

he notices how these people acted the same as he did

that’s how mysta knew that the problem didn’t really lie within him, more so there was something in you that caused you to be like this

after mustering up all the courage he had in the fibers of his body, mysta pulled you aside one day and spoke first

“c-can i talk to you about something, y/n?” he isn’t without his anxiety though but he’s determined to pull through

you tilt your head, “okay? what’s up mysta?”

“please don’t be offended by it, okay? i don’t mean anything bad,” he sighs. “i’ve noticed how… uh, you’re very aggressive. with me, with other people.”

at his observation, you turn pale with grief

“ha-have i been scaring you?” you stammer, bringing your hands together. you drop your head, “i-i’m so sorry mysta, i didn’t mean to! i never wanted to scare you or anyone, honest! it’s just… um, well, i do get aggressive.”

mysta scratches the back of his head awkwardly, “well, yeah you do. and i wanted to talk to you about it. is something going or…?”

you avoid eye contact with him for a minute and mysta knew he just hit the core of the problem. so there was something going on you hadn’t told him about

“i just… don’t wanna get hurt is all,” you say.

and for once, mysta doesn’t feel like he has to be cautious with you anymore.

he’s looking at you in a different light

you seemed… vulnerable as you told him everything

the reasoning behind your more rough tendencies, how you are prone to being harsh

by the end of it, all mysta saw was a warrior who was trying their best to fight through it all. though it wasn’t best of ways to handle things, mysta knew what to do now

when you finish and it’s his turn to speak, he smiles full of relief and brings you into a hug

“i’m really sorry i scared you mysta… i didn’t mean to,” you mumble into his chest. but mysta only held you tighter

sigh, after all this time, you’ve only been fighting alone

“it’s okay, y/n. it really is,” he says, patting your head down. “i understand now and i’m glad i got to talk to you about it. you’re a real fighter.”

and that you were

in the beginning, things were a bit awkward as mysta was very unsure on how to handle someone with aggression

but did that stop him? nah

if anything, it kept motivating mysta to find a way to help you as best as he can

you were precious to him, so he wasn’t going to let you be alone anymore

when days were too rough for you, mysta will gladly be there for you even if it meant getting hurt by your harsh words

he’ll do his best to patiently untangle what causes the tension, intervening when necessary

i think mysta won’t have the willpower like vox to completely stop you but he’ll definitely try to prevent it when he sees the signs

times like these will be long, but it’s more bearable with mysta there. when you start seeing red, he’s going to appear before you and remind you to take more control of your emotions

his silly clownish self will most times work after all

Luca Kaneshiro 🦮🔆

man is used to interacting with aggressive people since he is the literal boss of a mafia

he’ll admit he was slightly shocked seeing this rough trait come from you

this doesn’t him stop however and he won’t be scared of you like how mysta would be

he does get hurt from what you say sometimes so he’ll try his best to gently tell you to ease up on your tendencies

luca knows it won’t be easy breaking out of it, since he’s well aware it’s part of someone, but he doesn’t want to risk exposing you to the bad things aggressive behaviors can cause

and tell me, isn’t it hard staying mad at someone as bright and adorable as luca?

thought so

the day was particularly hard for you, and well the people were just a thousand times more irritating than usual

which of course became the source of why your aggressive nature had come to its peak

you were pretty much untouchable. anyone who came close would be so much as singed upon approaching you

except for luca

“babe! babe! hey, hey, what’s wrong?” luca interferes immediately upon seeing the metaphorical red in your eyes

but you don’t pay him any attention yet, instead focusing on your subject of anger

seeing you so mad and harsh rly put luca on the spot the first time it happened, he was too frozen to do anything. however he finally came to his senses once you start sputtering some really bad, bad words

“woah, heyyyy,” luca stands in front of you, shielding whoever/whatever was the victim of your curses both for their benefit and yours

you would try to shove luca away, or maybe even start thrashing at him, but he’s quick to hold your hands and stop you

this finally breaks you out of your angered frenzy, pausing to take a breather

it seemed as though you finally woke up from a terrible dream, only now realizing luca was right in front of you

he was frowning as he tightly held your hands out of caution

and this broke your heart deep down seeing him concerned

“lu-luca?” you call out

luca smiles at you, bringing your hands towards his lips to place a chaste kiss

“hi,” he’ll chuckle, and you’ll do the same

he’s positively contagious like that

he probably won’t mention it right after, instead going straight to the point of the matter

if it was something involving someone else, luca will help resolve things with them and keep you at bay (most times you’re back calm again!)

but if it was just a trivial conflict, luca will direct your attention elsewhere, preferably to things you enjoy or play games he was interested at the time

“hey, let’s get some food after this! i heard they opened a new restaurant and it’s super pog,” he’ll suggest, already tugging your hand out towards the door

it’s only when you’re completely calm again does luca address your aggressive nature that day, gently telling you that things didn’t need to be solved in such a manner

“if you need help with it, you know i’m always here, babe!” luca grins, bringing you into a bear hug. “there’s nothing to be ashamed of to ask for help.”

luca kaneshiro does not judge, first and foremost. he’s always very understanding and will put your feelings first before his no matter what happens. he chose to be with you, so he’ll stay with you, aggressive behaviors and all

Ike Eveland 🖋💙

i hate to break it to you but the first time it happened, ike didn’t receive it too well

he initially thought you were being brash or unnecessarily irrational about your emotional control, definitely irritated by your actions

when you kept saying offensive things, an obnoxious amount of curse words and getting too tense over a small matter, it lit ike on fire

“would you stop being such a brute?!” ike snaps, his patience paper thin

but of course, this only pushes you deeper into the abyssal anger you had been holding onto

if your subject of madness wasn’t already on ike, you redirect your attention to him and get into a super heated argument over-

well pretty much nothing…

it originally didn’t even mean much but with the back and forth clapbacks and sinister comments, it seemed like a bigger problem than it should be

it only ends when you say something overboard and it genuinely hurts ike, to the point where he isn’t mad anymore, he’s just sad

he’ll stay silent and let you bark at him

once you finish, ike mumbles a soft apology before leaving

you could say that this might be the worst episodes of being aggressive, and you weren’t a villain, you didn’t have bad intentions

the situation just pushed you into it, and tbh, you hated how you didn’t fight it enough

now ike is somewhere, wounded by your words and actions

your heart was beyond broken at this rate

so you try to look for him, desperately wishing that he’s somewhere within your reach and still in a state where things can be fixed between you two

luckily, he was in his study, back turned to the door as he worked readily into the evening

ike tensed when the door creaked open, but he didn’t turn around.

man that stung…

you inhale whatever courage you had left in you before asking, “c-can i talk to you, ike?”

look, he may gotten mad and irritated at you over what happened, but that didn’t mean he was in to ignore you

so he sighs and turns around, eyes visibly tired

“fine.”

you take a brave step forwards and start explaining your situation, from the beginning till how it all ended up being

“oh… oh god,” ike’s voice is trampled upon, you don’t know by what but he quickly stands and brings you in for an embrace

you snuggle against him anyway though, despite the guilt eating you up inside from being so unnecessarily angry

ike starts to pat your head down, placing kisses all over your face before he starts apologizing profusely, “i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry…”

“what for, ike?”

“i became mad at you and thought you were being so annoying by being so angry at little things when really, it’s not like that,” he mutters into your hair, hugging you even tighter.

“hey, it’s my fault too for not telling you and i should’ve controlled myself better,” you smile gently

but ike shakes his head, “i’m sorry…”

“it’s okay, ike.”

you bet this experience stuck with him for so, so long. not only with you either, he learns to be more patient with anyone! he isn’t quick to react like he used to, especially when he doesn’t know the full stories to things

ike after that seemed to be clinging on to you much closer than usual

in reality, he’s actually studying your habits and personality more, making sure that he can help control your more aggressive nature whenever it acts up

he won’t hesitate to do research on how to handle things much easier without hurting him or you too, since he only wants the best for you

when you’re being particularly moody, ike is quick to intervene and push you away from the situation by gently trying to coax you out of your red state

it’s going to take some time, he understood that, but he’s willing to do it

for you as well, after that huge fight, whenever you see ike you always manage to calm down although sometimes just by a bit

but the longer he stayed and the more he insisted on being with you until it doesn’t hurt anymore, you start to ground yourself again

when you finally get to the point you’re calm again, it’s easier to manage things especially since it’s more than likely ike will stay to help you out

“are you okay?” ike will ask you, with a soft beam across his face. you nod before he leans in for a chaste kiss. “good, i’m glad.”

ike will probably bring you over, have you sit next to him or on his lap and just silently enjoy each other’s presence, him reading, you working, just be together <3

things won’t be perfect with ike. he too is still as human as you after all, but ike is willing to accept all of your flaws and stories just as much as you accept all of his

Shu Yamino 🔮✨

he won’t lie, he’ll be super intimidated the first time he saw you get so incredibly mad

it’ll feel like he’s walking on a landmine, if not careful he might set off something unwanted

especially when it kept happening in the next few weeks

shu might or might not forget how to joke or talk to you, you may also say that it got awkward between you two

but shu didn’t want that to happen so he tries to ease into conversations with you

the best he can ;-;

“hey, babe,” shu would’ve bring you into a hug and kiss you all over, but he retracts it to just a mere peck on the cheek

you’ll notice obviously, with the lack of communication you guys had and just how less shu is showing affection

you worried if this was the phase where he was beginning to fall out of love with you but instead of wallowing over it, you approach him

“shu? can i talk to you about something?”

he looks at you, nodding. “sure, what’s up?”

“um, a-are we okay? you seem more… distant,” you avoid contact and shu realizes then the mistake he made of being too cautious with you

he instantly has you sit down in front of him, cupping your face gently all the while still firm and reassuring

your eyes are filled with uncertainty, visible worry and some desperation

shu’s heart had never split open that badly

“baby, i am so sorry for making you feel like this,” he sighs, kissing your nose. “i don’t mean to make you doubt but… ah, how do i say this?”

he then feels your fingers touch his

“you can tell me.”

shu spares you a look before saying, “you know how you’ve been getting mad a lot more?”

you catch on almost immediately and pale up

“i have to admit, it's kind of scary… i never see you like that and i may or may not have started to give you space even though you didn’t ask. now i know that was a big mistake on my part.”

to think it was a good idea to leave you alone…

“i-it’s partly my fault too, shu.”

“hm? how so?”

then you start recounting everything, from the very first time it triggered you and how you learned to pretty much protect yourself from it, though through more harsh means

for the first time in a while, shu sees you slowly stripping yourself of your outside walls

now all that’s left is but your more vulnerable self, raw and nothing to hide

“i just don’t want to get hurt but if it hurts you, i’ll try to change i’ll—“

shu places a finger on your lips, which instantly shuts you up as he removes it again

the sorcerer sighs, proceeding to brush away your hair and leaning against your forehead

“you’re already perfect, there’s no need to change.” he smiles softly. “i was just a bit surprised at first. but i’m okay with it. just let me help you when it hurts okay? i don’t want to leave you alone again.”

and shu is a man of his words, what he says goes

he will do his darnest to make sure that you don’t doubt yourself anymore, especially because of him

if you wanted help to control yourself, shu is more than willing to be there and hold you throughout the entire process, cheering you on and offering any possible direct support

when it gets bad, shu will notice right away and will do more of the preventing rather than stopping it

he’ll mentally note down when you’re about blow off steam, so he can prevent it ahead of time and make sure you’re reacting to the situation with a cooler head

it helps you form a good habit of controlling yourself too, so i’d say shu would be the quickest out of luxiem to help you sort things out in terms of self control

when they say shu is a sorcerer, he does actual wonders for the people around him and can get a hold of things super quickly

you are absolutely no different to this effect, if anything, you become a whole lot more important to his life. any help or support needed, shu will throw away his life plans to make sure you were doing okay <3

Masterlist!

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blzzrdstryr · 2 years

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How would yandere boys react if s/o already like someone? Except, the person s/o love already die. It's like loyalty and stupidity if you call it. Even after s/o die, they still like

(s/o lover) and honestly? Even if genshin boys their best. S/o just waiting, till the day where death knock on their doors. But they still a normal person, just having a little heartbreak due to the fact their lover die.

Basically s/o still like their dead lover and no matter how hard genshin boys tried s/o still loves them no matter what

(s/o and their lover has almost married untill s/o lover die)

(please do scramouche too!)

I decided to sort them into categories and write short explanations for each one.

Disclaimer: respecting your feelings here means not backing off entirely, but not mocking them either. All yanderes will harbour some hope that one day you will move on and reciprocate, some just decide to be subtle about it.

Gets your feelings, respects them: Zhongli, Venti

Zhongli and Venti are more than familiar with the feeling of grief, how it twists and turns you inside out, slowly eating away at you, how you thoughts start to warp around the things and people you once lost. They give you time and place to grieve, as they still do it too, with Zhongli carrying the burden of his memories and Venti wearing his body made in the image of his friend.

Gets your feelings, decides to be disrespectful: Childe, Kaeya

Childe and Kaeya are naturally skilled at getting people, they're charismatic, they're cunning and they're arrogant. They both will subtly mock and guilt you for having feelings for someone who has long passed away, yet the reasons for doing so will differ. Childe is overconfident - he's sure that no one is able to resist him, and if he tries and manipulates you enough your feelings of grief and longing will disappear, while Kaeya is insecure. All his life he was losing his friends, his family, his nation and knowing that you prefer some deadman over him strikes a sore spot.

Doesn't get your feelings, but respects them: Albedo, Kazuha, Thoma

Albedo has a very surface level of understanding you and he isn't deluded enough to think that he can easily tell what you're feelings or grasp the depth of your feelings for that matter. He decides to play safe and adopts passive and non-agressive approach.

Kazuha knows that you grieve, knows how grief tastes, because he once tasted it himself, but also doesn't think that he knows what you think or feel. Losing your partner is as intimate as losing a friend, the gash left behind wide and open, aching with everyday, yet everyone is different and they way people grieve is different too. Kazuha is a master of speech, able to weave words like one a fabric, yet even he finds himself tiptoeing around your woe.

Thoma is also natural with people - he can easily blend in into any company, smile and laugh when it's needed and knows time when he should be extra careful. The topic of your dead lover is one of those times - Thoma will be reassuring and comforting, but nothing more because he knows other patterns of behaior might backfire. He will be a perfect friend for you, hoping that this way he'll be able to find the place in your heart.

Doesn't get your feelings, comes off as disrespectful: Diluc, Xiao

I don't think Diluc and Xiao are intentionally disrespectful, the last thing they want is to offend you, but they have so little understanding how to talk to people beyond the politeness that the topic of you still grieving is a disaster in the making. They also assume what they feel by placing themselves in your situation and talking about your feelings of grief how they talk about their own. They assume that you feel the same way they did and still do, because they're also familiar with loss.

Doesn't get your feelings, gets angry instead: Scaramouche

Scaramouche didn't allow himself to be close enough to other people after what happened with his friend, so your feelings remain blurred by the veil of his lack of experience, yet it's enough to give him a general understanding. Scaramouche is bitter and the thought that you prefer someone else over him is enough to make him see red. The fact that your lover has passed away and you're still having feelings are just an extra fuel to his rage.

#Yandere Thoma #Yandere Diluc #Yandere Xiao #Yandere Venti #Yandere Zhongli #Yandere Kaeya #Yandere Childe #Yandere Albedo #yandere kazuha #Yandere Scaramouche

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banzoin · 2 years

Text

wanted to talk about moon knight, as coming from a system.

most of this is copy pasted from a twitlonger i made, but i wanted to add some more here

tldr: moon knight was an incredible display of did and i'm glad we have media depicting it as such. however too many people refuse to research into it after watching, yet insist upon making jokes about it. it's tiring.

okay apparently im fucking stupid and you cant add a fucking post break from mobile so just take it all as is

very personal input

while i can't speak for the comics, i absolutely completely and thoroughly enjoyed moon knight.

media depicting did/osdd is few and far between and what we do have is... well we have never seen any that are /actually good/. so i was extremely apprehensive so start watching this but ended up enjoying it so much that i watched it (almost) all at once.

before i continue, as of writing this, this is san. there is someone in cofront but he doesn't care to add anything. the others may want to add their input later (specifically i want lira to write some because our relationship feels much like steven and marc), but i can't say for sure. so anyways — onto how i personally feel about moon knight and it's depiction of did.

marc. i understand marc to an almost startling degree — to the point where episodes 2 and 5 sent me into a panic attack but that's just... i have problems. amongst the six of us i know of, i can say undoubtedly that i am... disliked, to put it mildly. the end of episode 2 really struck a cord. i can't say i ever felt what steven did — anger, fear, disgust? but, that feeling of being trapped is one that i definitely know. when steven tells marc that he's ruined his life, he's terrible, he wished he wasn't there, etc. it was very personal. there have been many times in which an attempt to help — we focus heavily on kali and keeping kali feeling safe and stable — just didn't work out the way i thought it would. there are so many times that my attempts to help (and still most times i think whatever it was i did was the right call) were met with "san is ruining our life". the way they portrayed marc's anger, confusion, hurt, etc. to steven thinking that about him was... very, very well done. episode 5 too was... sheesh. marc's desperate attempts to keep steven from remembering the truth of what happened to them — not wanting to ruin the balance that they've created, the freedom of having a 'break' of sorts from stress through steven... yeah. Yeah. "you were never supposed to know. you got to live a carefree, happy life. isn't that enough?"

serious points aside, i think the banter was very nice as well. i like the cofronting approach to writing because it's something that i personally understand well because that is our constant. personally enjoyed moments like "if it comes down to it... kill the hippo, steal the boat" "NO?" because it reminds me deeply of lira and i. i think early on, the way steven so desperately tries to deny what is happening upon discovery and hating the idea of marc, is very... much like how i know kali still views me.

i can not comment on their relationship with/views of jake because, well, if we have alters we don't know of as well then... there's no way for me to write about those. heart emoji

i might remember more i want to say later, but for now my final topic will be: the way layla treats them when she learns about the presence of steven. i, personally, think it's very, very sweet. there is a level of understanding there that i so desperately wish we had received in the past. the initial "you must be lying to guilt trip me" response is understandable after all that happened between them, but i love how when she realizes that oh. no, this is for real. there was no teasing, there was no passive aggressiveness, there was nothing negative. there was this understanding that the man she loved went through something horrible and this is part of him. she never blamed steven either for when she thought marc killed her father, she never blamed him for anything the other did.

also i lied the final topic will be how i need people to stop babying them. using one of the scenes where steven fronts after marc has a literal breakdown in the street after being forced to confront his trama as a aww the poor baby:( type of scene. making jokes about "marcs other personalities".

im sure i will remember more things specifically that bug me to hell and back so i will edit this. i will add more. i will have the others add more too

#i fucking hate using tumblr on mobile by the way #anyways #moon knight

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siriusanotherside · 2 years

Note

Hey there! I just found your blog and I adore it! Your headcanons and analyses are so cute and thought-out, I can't help but adore it! (And you're also giving so much love to DRA, which unfortunately doesn't get that much from the fandom). Out of curiosity, do you have any headcanons about Maeda&Utsuro friendship in a non-despair!AU where Utsuro never met Enoshima (nor ruined the poor lad's life)? 'Cuz I think about it a lot. If you want, I can tell some of mine too!

Hello there! I am glad you liked my hcs and analyses! :D Here comes the ask! And thank you very much for your patience! ^^/

Hmmm headcanons of a Yuki and Utsuro friendship.

I feel like their first meeting would be like *spiderman meme* at noticing the weird amount of similarity between them.

Yuki at first is like “holy shit he looks just like me what the hell?” “huh I think that’s the statistic about how 5 people in the world looks just like you”, “why does he looks like an cooler version of me (going by the assumption that Divine Luck makes Utsuro be seem as “cool”, ie a quality even if he didn’t work for)

I feel like Yuki would be the first one to notice the similarity and be the one to actively approach Utsuro. Utsuro is a very passive character, (that is, he is someone who reacts to what happens to him more than someone who takes actions, unless in very specific situations), so I think he wouldn’t notice at first, but when Yuki reached him and interact with him, he would be shocked.

Utsuro: Wh-why….is there someone… who looks like me….

*insert that surprised looking sprite here*

*insert Utsuro (and Akane depending on the timeline) having the X-files theme song play and a bit of conspiracy meme inside where he is "howww!?!?!?"*

I feel like their first conversation would be pretty awkward due to Mr. Zero Social Interaction. Mostly Yuki trying to talk to him and Utsuro occasionally answering a little. Yuki might think that he is someone either super shy or super introverted, especially on how Utsuro seems to avoid talking in general, even with other persons.

I also think that at the beginning most of the topics they would talk would be “Haha weird we are similar, have we met before ? Do you know x Maeda family member”?

From the curiosity on why would someone so similar appearance wise to him, I feel like it would propel Utsuro to be curious as well about Yuki and “allow” Yuki to continue interacting with him.

I imagine their first hang outs would be out-doors, like walking around the area, with Utsuro’s Divine Luck making sure they don’t get lost. Sometimes quietly, sometimes with Yuki somewhat one-sidely talking. Yuki at first is a bit torn if he is annoying Utsuro or not, but he notices the way Utsuro sort of seems to turn towards him when he arrives, which is more than he does to most people.

I can imagine a lot of hangouts between them also being Yuki showing Utsuro Normal Teenage stuff hang outs with movies, going out to eat, playing video games at home and etc. Which while Utsuro is stuck on the mentality of “I will win at everything so everything is boring”, he still enjoys it although he cant properly identify either that he enjoyed or how he enjoyed.

After sometime in this friendship, I can see Utsuro sometimes calling unconsciously for him to meet with Yuki to Divine Luck and after it happens a couple times it hits him that he wants to continue seeing Yuki and he is like "?????" minor existencial crisis over it due to never experiencing a friendship before.

I feel too, that Utsuro would hide his luck from Yuki, to make sure he isn’t trying to take advantage of him, and that any weird stuff that happened would be Yuki going “well life here with Ultimades doing wack stuff outside is already like weird, according to forums and news, so eh, must be a coincidence”. After a long time, Utsuro would bit by bit feel more relaxed around Yuki due to starting to realize that Yuki isn’t after him for luck.

That said, I also think that Utsuro, when in his wandering mood, would have times when he just would disappear without warning and with no communication, which would make Yuki feel hurt over it and thinking if Utsuro had gotten tired of him or not (in a friend sense in the sense of “am I an boring person?”). I feel that in those travels Utsuro would realize he is also kind of wondering how Yuki is, and wanting to see him back, so it would turn into also visiting out of blue.

*Utsuro: Hi..-Stop screaming is me.

Yuki, who didn’t hear from him in 3 weeks:????*

I think that the friendship, or any friendship with Utsuro with a few exceptions, would be like simultaneasly a close and long distance one, due to Utsuro travelling. IE he would spend periods of time in a geographically close place, and then travel, but be back.

I have this picture on my mind of Yuki once inviting Utsuro to his house and Utsuro looking at a Normal Teenager^tm house, one that had a loving parent and being, like, a bit uncomfortable due to being suspicious on whether or not it is a facade or not. And then they go play video games or board games and then sitting on the table to eat and then Utsuro seeing how MomMaeda interacts with Yuki and being like a mix of surprised, longing, relieved and envious over how there seems to be genuine love there between them, since that’s not what Utsuro is used to seeing.

Ohhh I also imagine that one day, a long time into the friendship, Utsuro would be like “Hey do you want to…travel?” and Yuki would be like “Sure seems cool”, in a way that is Utsuro getting comfortable enough with Yuki to want to share his experiences / pass times with Yuki in the same way that Yuki has been sharing important moments with him for so long. So they go and have wacky adventures.

Huh. Thinking about it, I also wonder how they would converse about the whole Ultimade deal. I feel like due to being such an important topic in the world, it would come up in a conversation. Basically, Yuki wanting to be an important person like the Ultimades and their impact in the world versus Utsuro probably complicated view on them, either as people similar to him “in getting things handed to them” or as people who had the…. Chance to be able to work hard instead of having things forcefully handed to them.

I can see Utsuro trying, in a massively awkward way to reassure Yuki that being normal is cool and Utsuro wishes he had the stability of being normal, and it works because, by then, Yuki had bonded enough to Utsuro to get to know how he works and sees that Utsuro is trying very hard and just doesn’t know how to articulate well.

Yuki, thankful and like doing that thankful sprite: You are a great friend Utsuro, I am glad I met you :)

Utsuro, emotionally constipated and also touched: *nods in panic*

Also for funny moments, I can see a lot of times both of them getting confused as twins and it becomes an somewhat inside joke (more to Yuki then Utsuro but he also grows fond of it).

Ohhh possibly shenanigans of them switching places so Utsuro can experiment an Normal Middle/High School (I have no idea what kind of timeline is this), experience without being treated as a god. It starts with it being Yuki idea upon seeing that Utsuro seemed to have an different life style and questioning him if he had experienced school. It snowballs in “hey, people think we are twins when they see us on the street so no one would suspect if we switched”. Utsuro ruminating on this for some time before accepting it and then pretending to be Yuki.

BASICALLY AN INVERSION OF CANON, where Yuki consents to Utsuro switching with him. However, this would be a couple, non-concurrent, days thing and not, like, forever.

Then like, totally-not-gossiping/bitching with Yuki about it. Like Utsuro being “ugh it was so boring and also wow what was that amount of homework and the food looked awful, also person next to me was having the drama of the lifetime” And Yuki being like “Oh there is so much more”.

Speaking of this, I can also see a friendship with Yuki leading to Utsuro coming to learn to enjoy books and movies even when spoiled, due to watching together with him, and thus they chat together on what they thought and etc. In addition, Yuki bringing to the table the perspective of “the road to the end matters” in regards to books and movies. Sure, in the ending X died and Y lived and Z got together with W, but the way it was developed was “cool or boring or forced “and “Utsuro, what did you thought about the jokes and or the subplot x”. Thus opening Utsuro eyes to like discussing, roasting, and praising books and movies etc, and they bonding over it.

YUKI SHOWING UTSURO BAD AWFULLY DONE MOVIES SO THEY CAN ROAST IT TOGETHER. I feel like Utsuro would have it down the art to roast things.

Also! Yuki introducing Utsuro to memes. Just Yuki introducing Utsuro to memes, and general teenage culture that traveler loner Utsuro wouldn’t know.

Yuki and Utsuro watching Shrek together. Just the mental image of Utsuro seeing Shrek.

Utsuro becoming progressively a bit more expressive in the friendship and Yuki being in a way proud of it? in a seeing Utsuro, snicker or give a very very very tiny smile and being happy over making his friend happy.

Overall, I feel like a friendship between them would have Yuki as a very active person on it, leading their hangouts and interactions, as well as a… “wise” person on it, doing to having more social experience and so ending up giving great new experiences to Utsuro, which would lead him into both learning more about himself as a person, how to view the world, new experiences and different views, and how to form genuine bonds with people. From Yuki side, I think it would be an interesting position to, in which he would end up learning to not take shit from others, to be more confident and assertive, that being normal carries its benefits, and learning too new experiences due to Utsuro different point of views.

I do think that there would be hurdles for both of them to pass through in this friendship. Yuki dealing with how distant is Utsuro, and trying to figure out whether he is annoyed at him or not, how to handle with a friendship with someone that vanishes through spans of time with no ill intent, but that it can cause hurt. Utsuro having to deal with continual social interaction, which I think would both be interesting to him as well as annoy him (due to, I think, his social battery being very low) as well as the second guessing if this was a way to try to grasp Divine Luck or not, and then the grappling with keeping divine luck a secret or not. I feel, however that it would come out with both of them growing as people and discovering a very precious friendship between them.

Overall, I think Utsuro would like Yuki’s down to earth and positive outlook, as well as how “chill” things are with him, with no kind of expectation happening due to Divine Luck. And for Yuki, I think he would like Utsuro’s deadpanning, quiet support, how they can chill and vibe together, and yeah.

Honestly I probably would have more thoughts but this is all that came up on my mind in those weeks. It was really interesting and fun to think about.

Thank you for the ask!

#asks #anon #utsuro #yuki maeda #utsuro i am going to get a good grade into i am definitely a average normal civillian which is a #yuki seeing utsuro vibes: today i will make a friend #utsuro: hey divine luck why do i have a clone #divine luck: it is a surprise tool just in case you want it later

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tsukikento · 3 years

Text

Empathetic Chapter 18

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Summary: After your mom, the number 1 hero in America, gets offered a teaching position at U.A., you two pack up your things and head to Musutafu, Japan to start a new life. Pressure for you in America was at an all-time high, and now you’re in Japan, where almost no one knows you, or your family’s past.

This tale starts on your first day of class where your new teacher decides the best way for you to fit in is to fight against the strongest person in your class: Bakugou Katsuki.

Warnings/Genre: This piece will feature some angst and reference to an abusive parent, if you are ever worried about other tw’s feel free to send me an ask and I will let you know. There will also be fluff, slight angst, pining, and slowburn.

A/N: Usually, my chapters are ~5000 words, but this one is less than 3500. However, that is because I wanted to end the chapter here! I hope you guys enjoy some of this glorious fluff with a short explanation to the reader's backstory. There is more to come and unfortunately it with be rather angsty.

(series masterlist)

You didn’t know what to say and Aizawa didn’t expect you to say anything. He gave you a few moments for the concept to sink in and then he began speaking again.

“Your mother is already on a plane back to the United States. She is in contact with your siblings and even tried calling you a few times.” He paused, debating his next words carefully, “Our goal is to have him think you are still in America. Your family is arranging for there to be a record of you at your old school. Your mother left in hopes to convince your father that she rushed home for you.”

You nodded meekly. It’s not like anything will change if I speak up.

Aizawa sighed. “We are working on our end to get rid of your trace here, but we believe overall that it is safest for you to stay here on campus, surrounded by heroes. What this entails is that you will not be in the limelight at all. You will stay training under me, you will not go out on missions where the public can see you, and you will not participate in the sports festival.”

Aizawa sat down next to you, trying to be as considerate as possible in such a difficult situation.

All you wanted to do right now was call your mom and siblings. You wanted to hear their voices, hear the truth from them, and then have their soothing voices tell you it would all be okay.

“I’m sure you want to talk to your family right now,” Aizawa began as if he was the one who could read your mind, “But you can’t.” He once again rubbed his eyes in irritation at the problem. “If you call them, your number will show outgoing calls from Japan to the United States.”

“I understand,” You solemnly replied.

“However, tomorrow morning, I will be calling your mom with the intention to talk to her about the situation and missing class,” Aizawa explained. “Come to my office half an hour before class and you can talk to her.”

You nodded, trying to comprehend just how important and serious this topic was.

“I don’t expect you to be amazing in class,” Aizawa elaborated, “I know this is a tough situation. However,” He looked into your eyes, “I want you to be there and I want you to keep fighting for your hero education as this gets sorted out.”

You nodded.

Aizawa stood up. “Now, go to bed, get some rest.”

You nodded a final time. “Thank you,” Your meek voice responded, bowing slightly because you knew it was the polite thing to do. You made your way back to the dorm as Aizawa followed behind you.

When you entered, you saw Ashido and Kirishima now in the room with Bakugou, Kaminari, and Sero. However, no one else was there anymore. Briefly, you wondered if your friends, particularly Bakugou, yelled at everyone to get lost.

“Have a good night,” Aizawa said as he left you, closing the door behind him.

Frankly, all you wanted to do was go up to your room, sleep the night away, and talk to your mom in the morning. You hoped everyone could respect that.

Ashido was the first to approach you. They had all been sitting at the usual spot on the dining table. The load wooden chair creaked against the wooden floor, surely adding another scratch to the collection. She rushed over to you and pulled you in quickly for a hug.

It was brief, mainly because you didn’t hug the pink girl back, and she pulled away in concern.

She looked deep into your eyes, unsure what to say.

With the utmost concern and care she could muster, the girl simply asked, “Are you okay? Do you want to be alone?”

“I do,” You mumbled out quickly.

“Of course,” She immediately replied, turning to lead you up to the dorms. She was your escort, and she would make sure no one, not a single soul, bothered you.

As you walked, your eyes wandered to the group. Most of your friends were standing at the edge of the dining room, too scared to enter. Bakugou, on the other hand, stayed in his chair, his eyes never leaving yours.

He looked at you with a serious face and motioned for you to take out your earbud.

You listened and took out one.

Are you okay? You heard his thoughts, much more apparent than anyone else’s, ask.

Not wanting to lie to the blond, you shrugged. You didn’t want to hear anything else, especially because most people’s thoughts were focused on your own situation. You popped the earbud back in as your rounded the corner to the hallway that led to the elevator.

Time passed numbly as Ashido ushered you to your bedroom.

“I’m going to fill up your water and bring you a couple of granola bars in case you get hungry,” She paused to look at you, “Do you need anything else? I could wake you in the morning for class if you’re going.”

“No,” You smiled, “I appreciate you.”

“Of course.” Mina’s tone was much more calm than usual. “Even if I am asleep, feel free to text, call, or bang on my door till I wake up, okay?”

You laughed, “I will.”

Your door shut. You sat down. Minutes later you heard the clink of your water bottle be pressed against your door.

A vibration.

I left it outside your door <3

On your phone were multiple calls and texts. A few from your mom, a few from Aizawa, and a few from Momo and Iida, the class representatives.

You clicked on each, ridding yourself of the red notification bubble. Sighing, you got up to grab your water before going back to bed.

You snuggled yourself into the duvet and attempted to play some videos to distract yourself.

You felt tears prick your eyes multiple times through the night until you finally fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were sweaty. You already had been, but this fresh sweat was most likely the result of a nightmare you already couldn’t remember. Your mouth was dry, and you immediately moved to grab your water. You gulped down half your water in only seconds, thankful that it was filled by Ashido.

It was still dark outside so you grabbed your phone to check the time.

2:19.

If anything you were only asleep for an hour. It had been difficult to fall asleep in the first place, but now it seemed you were being plagued with nightmares.

You pondered if it was better that you didn’t remember what you dreamt. Part of you wished you could.

You sighed into your empty room.

Knowing yourself, if you fell back asleep, you would have the same nightmare.

Maybe I can distract myself for a little bit and try to fall back asleep later.

You looked around your darkroom. But what to do?

Sighing, you stood up from your bed and began grabbing your toiletries. You were much too sweaty for your liking and assumed a nice shower would help calm you down.

Quietly, you slipped downstairs, not using the elevator because you knew it would ‘bing!’ when the doors opened and closed.

Thankfully, the living room and dining room were empty. Your bare feet padded against the hardwood as you made your way to the showers, trying to keep quiet in case anyone heard.

You entered the bathroom, lights switching on immediately due to the motion sensor, and placed your belongings onto the sink counter. You turned to one of the stalls and switched it on before returning to your belongings. As the water heated up, you grabbed your essentials and flung your towel across the tile walls that separated each shower stall. You took off your earbuds and placed them securely into a cloth pouch you attached to your basket.

You peaked around the room, ensuring no one was there, before quickly peeling off your sweaty clothes. You rushed to your stall, closing the curtain, and sighing into the security of a warm water stream.

You took your shower slowly.

You spent your time massaging your head as you applied shampoo. You exfoliated your legs carefully, getting every inch and letting your thoughts fall down the drain with the soapy water. Your mind was clear, and you numbly followed each step meticulously.

It was when you were just about to wash the conditioner out of your hair and get out of the shower that you heard the door click open.

Whoever entered, disturbing your peace, let their heavy toiletries basket fall onto the counter.

I can’t fucking believe it!

It was Bakugou.

Someone else is showering at this time when I wanted to be all alone.

You debated telling him it was you, curious to see if knowing it was you would ease his anger. However, he would also know you could hear his thoughts in these moments.

He turned on the shower that was two away from you. You heard him sigh and pictured the blond rubbing his eyes in frustration.

His thoughts flickered over multiple subjects in the span of seconds. With many people asleep, thoughts were quiet. Bakugou being so close made it easier for you to focus on his thoughts but did not stop your head from hurting slightly.

You weaved around his thoughts, pushing away the passive ones that were simply about turning on the shower, grabbing his shampoo, body wash, and conditioner, and entering the shower. You moved away from his frustration, searching for something more.

Y/N.

More.

Is she okay?

More.

I wonder if she was able to fall asleep.

More.

I wish I ignored stupid pink hair and just went to visit her.

Fuck.

“Bakugou.”

A wave of shock when through him. After a few swears within his head, he finally replied.

“Y/N.” A short pause, “Didn’t I tell you to call me Katsuki?” Another pause, “For practice, I mean.”

You chuckled, running your hair under the water. “No, Bakugou-san, I don’t think you ever did.”

“Tch.”

You heard him open a bottle.

“Well, you can,” He finally said, his voice annoyed, but his thoughts telling you it was a façade.

You didn’t bother replying. Instead, you turned off the water and ringed out what water you could from your hair.

“I’m fine by the way,” You said, interrupting the silence.

You could tell Bakugou wanted to ask some questions, but his thoughts were not directed to you. They were not specifically asking so you didn’t say anything.

You dried off your body and wrapped the large towel around your body before realizing you didn’t bring any spare clothes.

Even worse, you slipped your clothes off and just left them out there. At least, you were smart enough to throw them into your basket of toiletries. Despite that sliver, if silver lining, you still needed to wash your face, brush your teeth, and put some products into your hair. There was no way in hell you were going to put your sweaty clothes back on that you ran in.

Maybe if I work quickly… you reasoned as you secured your towel best you could and proceeded to the sink.

The silence allowed you to work quickly, washing your face and applying products to it while Bakugou simply showered, thinking about how to ask you whatever it is he wanted to ask.

“Can you still hear my thoughts?” He asked out of the blue. Or, at least, it would have been if you didn’t hear his thoughts prior.

“Yes,” You replied as you applied a heavy glob of rose water gel cream to your face and neck.

“Then why aren’t you answering my questions? I know you can hear them?” He inquired.

“Your thoughts are different when you are thinking them and actually talking to me,” You explained, moving on to rapidly put lotion on your exfoliated body. “I don’t answer because they aren’t for me.” You paused, unsure how to phrase this next part, “I don’t want to interfere with your thoughts, I just can’t wear my earbuds when I’m soaking wet.”

His water shut off.

His water shut off and you still had things to do.

You checked your towel, rolling the top over a few times for maximum security.

“You might as well just answer them,” He explained. His green towel disappeared, his hand swiftly grabbing it from the tile walls.

“I’d rather you ask me what you really want to know,” You shot back, “I am not inclined to explain a difficult situation to someone without enough balls to actually ask.”

You could hear Bakugou scoff at the comment.

“No offense,” You added.

A chuckle. “None taken.”

He opened his curtain and stepped out. The blond was wrapped in only a towel, much like yourself, except this one hardly clung to his hips.

You looked away, looked anywhere else, and kept working. Next, your hair.

“It’s fine, you can look,” He teased.

It was a bold comment, but you could tell he was nervous to say it and just as nervous to look at you.

“I could say the same thing,” You looked into his eyes, cautious of his expansive chest. You pointed at your head, “Remember?”

“Tch, how could I forget?” He said, meeting you at the large sinks.

“You should have brought clothes,” You said, continuing the conversation and purposefully moving it away from tonight’s events.

“I could say the same thing,” He repeated, mocking you.

You laughed lightly, “I thought I would be alone.”

“So did I!”

You paused, “Yeah, well I got some pretty bad news tonight so you can’t be angry at me.”

The conversation stopped. Bakugou was tentative to say anything.

“You want me to tell you that badly, huh?” You questioned, looking at him through the mirror.

“You don’t have to,” He quickly replied.

“I know.”

You were done. Teeth brushed. Face fresh with lotion. Hair oil on. You turned to lean against the counter and watched the blond as he brushed his own teeth. You folded your arms, more so for the security of your towel, and for the comfort it would provide you.

“And just so you know,” You began, “I’m not telling you this because I crave attention.”

Bakugou gave you a look, not bothering to reply.

You bit your lip debating where to start. As you thought, your eyes looked over Bakugou’s body, admiring his strict diet and workout regimen. It’s really doing him wonders.

You caught Katsuki’s eyes, and he smirked, knowing exactly what you were doing. He didn’t pressure you to start your story and instead simply looked back into the mirror.

“Anyways,” You began, “My dad broke out of prison and he’s probably going to come looking for me.” You wanted to tell this story quickly, much like how one would rip a band-aid off quickly. “My mom is going back to the United States, and I am staying here because it is safest. However, I can’t do certain things,” You paused, “Like compete in the sports festival, or call anyone.”

Bakugou looked at you, your story clearly processing in his mind. He opened his mouth but closed it after a few moments. You knew what he was going to say though.

I’m sorry you can’t compete in the sports festival.

Albeit a little off-topic, you could tell the comment was coming from a good place. He had been training with you for weeks now in preparation. He also knew that it would be your opportunity to get an internship. However, now there was no possibility of doing that.

After deciding not to say such an oblivious statement, he was unsure what to do.

“It’s fine,” You finally said. “You don’t need to console me of anything.” You sighed, “It’ll be tough, but they will eventually get him, and everything will go back to normal.”

An awkward silence filled the room. Although, it wasn’t silent for you. Bakugou’s mind rushed with thoughts, the most prevalent one being—

“Is he where you got your quirk from?” Bakugou asked.

“Yes,” You answered before adding, “But his abilities are much more fleshed out than mine. He is able to manipulate feelings so strongly, and for so long that it’s basically mind control.”

Not wanting to elaborate, or go into your family history anymore, you began packing up your belongings. Bakugou also seemed ready to go as he began doing the same things.

Motioning to the blond, you finally put your earbuds back in. “You’re free,” You joked, enjoying the silence.

Bakugou snorted through his nose and grabbed his things. He held the door open for you and you each made your way to the elevator. You pointed to the elevator and stairs, silently asking him which one he would rather take.

Bakugou answered by leading the way up the stairs, walking slow enough that you were still able to keep up.

“I’m glad I ran into you tonight,” Bakugou said, breaking the silence. His voice echoed through the hall, making your heart flutter. “I was really worried honestly,” He added, worsening your nerves and making your face heat up.

When you didn’t reply, the blond turned to look at you. He immediately saw your red face and began to get red himself. His lips formed a fine line as he tried to remain serious and not smile.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He exclaimed, turning back around, and speeding up.

“What do you expect me to do?” You replied, “You started it.”

Bakugou scoffed, opening the door to your floor. “Yeah, but I didn’t look at you like—” He wasn’t sure what to say and gestured at you— “That!”

“Like what?” You shot back as you each walked to your rooms.

“You know,” Bakugou grumbled, his face becoming even pinker than it already was.

“But what if I don’t?” You questioned.

“I know you know,” He said, looking at you finally. “Of course you know with how I’m reacting.” Bakugou scowled at you and pouted his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You smiled brightly and the blond and nodded your head. “If it helps at all,” You began, “I’m glad I ran into you too.”

Bright red.

He was as red as his eyes.

You smiled even wider, happy to know you could make him react that way.

Before he could close himself away into his room, you decided to add insult to injury.

“It was also really reassuring having you with me when we first got back,” You paused, thinking about what to say. “It may be small, but you really helped me at that moment, especially when you moved me around.” Although you were doing this to get a reaction out of the blond, it was also an embarrassing moment for you. Neither of you was outright saying that you liked the other, but you were getting quite close to it. “I’m also really glad you yelled at everyone to leave so it wasn’t super crowded when I got back.” You thought for a moment, “At least I think you did.” A smile graced your face that would have anyone starstruck.

Bakugou stared at you like a deer in headlights. His eyes were wide, his face was red, and he could hardly move. It felt rather funny, each of you standing there in only a towel as you proclaim something so personal. Your arms held onto the top of your towel and Bakugou’s hung loosely by his hips.

For a moment, you imagined the garb falling off. It was a hilarious image and you knew the both of you would be nervous, but the way it hung really teased the idea of it.

It took a few moments, in which he stared directly at you, for him to regain his motor skills. With a ‘Wshh!’ of the door he was gone, tucked away in his small dorm.

You smiled to yourself, happy with how tonight played out. Even if your family was fighting for you, even if you had to fear your father showing up at any minute, it felt good to have a silly little high school romance. It made your life feel normal, it made your heartbeat incessantly, and it made you crave more time with the stubborn blond who stole your heart.

Once back in your room, you bit your bottom lip, trying to tame your smile. You change into some pajamas and make sure your alarm was set for the next day. You didn’t need to work out, but you needed to get to class early so you could talk to your mom. You were happy, really happy. Despite everything, your day was an overall great day and you knew it was all thanks to Bakugou.

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