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lees-chaotic-brain · 2 days

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𝙵𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳 (𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 𝙼𝙸𝚈𝙰 𝚇 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁)

summary: he overhears your friend saying something unkind

wc: 1.5k (oops this was supposed to be a drabble)

cw: mild swearing, reader has adhd, stigma against adhd

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“...What makes you think I wouldn’t lose it? I have the worst case of ADHD anyone has ever seen, you seriously think I’d be able to keep track of it?”

Your lighthearted laughter as you teased your friend floated over the din of the cafe as Osamu entered it, there to pick you up. Unable to tamp down his lovesick smile at the sound of your voice, he immediately perked up when he spotted you and began heading over to where you were sitting with your friends.

You had a little bit of trouble controlling your volume, so he had been able to hear what you were saying earlier, but since then you had gone weirdly quiet. But as he made his way over to you, he became close enough to catch the tail end of what your friend said in response.

“...I mean come on. You can’t just blame everything on your ADHD. Like, when are you going to actually take responsibility for your problems instead of using it as an excuse as if half the population doesn’t have it?”

He didn’t have to see your face to know what your expression looked like. Just like every other time someone said something shitty like that to you, he knew that the hurt would only show on your face for a moment before morphing into a sarcastic and uncaring mask.

“I’m sorry, what?” Your voice had lost its boisterous joy from moments ago, and that alone made him want to storm over there and tear that girl a new one. Unfortunately he was well aware of the fact that you preferred to fight your own battles, and loathed feeling like you needed some man to come in and defend your feelings.

“I’m just saying.” Your friend rolled her eyes. “You’re so put together, and one of the most intelligent people I know. When are you going to stop using your ADHD as an excuse for your terrible work ethic?”

While the first part of what she said sounded deceptively nice, the hidden connotations in the barbed sentence did not go over his head, so it most certainly did not go over yours. Remembering all of the nights he spent holding you as you cried because someone had called you lazy, or told you that you could do it if you just tried, he made a mental note to himself to remind you of how amazing you are every day. As if he didn’t already.

“Wow.” Your voice had taken on a mocking, almost cruel tone. While most people overhearing would think you’re just being really nasty, he knew better. This was how you protected yourself. You pretended you didn’t care and mocked the person for their ignorance, then went home and asked him to hold you until your heart stopped hurting and the voices in your head stopped talking.

You took a slow, leisurely sip of your drink, before slamming the cup back onto the table with more force than necessary. “For someone who claims to have undiagnosed ADHD, you sure don’t know anything about it. Just so you don’t embarrass yourself in the future by spewing more bullshit like this, let me give you a few pieces of information.”

Leaning back in your chair, you began ticking off items on your fingers as you spoke.

“One. Telling someone with ADHD to “just focus” is like telling a person with glasses to just see better. We want to, but we can’t.” You level a pointed look at her glasses and Osamu notes with satisfaction that her face is beginning to get flushed with embarrassment. You continue.

“Two. A lot of people with ADHD are actually insanely smart. They have to be. People in classes like ours who have ADHD and struggle with paying attention and staying on task need to be intellectually gifted to survive in school. It’s the only way they can keep up. Which brings us to point three.”

The overly sweet smile you give your so-called “friend” tells him that you’re about to say something you’ll regret later, but he can’t bring himself to stop you because anyone who hurt your feelings deserved what was coming for them. If that made him a bad boyfriend then he didn’t really care. He would just comfort you later and tell you that you aren’t a bad person for putting a judgemental asshole in their place.

“Point three: don’t go around telling people that you have undiagnosed ADHD. Like I said before, people with ADHD typically need to be smarter than the others in their class to keep up, especially in an engineering major. Which is exactly why no one is going to believe you. Frankly, you’re just not smart enough. You’re barely hanging on as it is. If you really did have ADHD you would have flunked out by now.”

Checking the time on your phone you gathered your stuff and stood up. “Sorry. My boyfriend is probably here by now. Although, something came up. I think you’ll need to find your own ride back. Sorry.”

Surveying the area where you had sat, you double checked to make sure you had everything, pausing and looking back over your shoulder just as you were about to leave.

“Oh, and by the way.” You shoot her a saccharine smile. “I really appreciate you thinking that I’m really put together. Unlike my intelligence, that’s all an act, so I’m really flattered that you thought that about me. It means a lot.”

With that, you turned and came face to face with your boyfriend's chest, nearly falling on your ass. One of his arms wound around your waist, pulling you against him and keeping you upright while the other snagged your bag and threw it over his shoulder.

“Samu?!” You look up at him in surprise and he just smirks and guides you out of the restaurant. Once you’re in the privacy of his car, you speak again. “...How long were you standing there?”

“Long enough to hear the bullshit she spewed.” You look down, pretending to pick at your nails, but he knows you’re just trying to hide the tears welling in her eyes.

“I really thought she was my friend.” Your voice is quiet and watery, completely different from the one you used with your friend just seconds ago in the cafe. “Maybe she’s right. I was probably too mean to her. I apologize to her-”

He was going to let you apologize, knowing that nothing he said would take away the guilt clawing at your insides, but then he saw the contact name.

“Her??” He pointed incredulously at the contact name. “The girl in there was her?? The one who was super mean to ya last year? I thought ya said ya weren’t friends with her anymore!”

Flushing, you tilt your phone away from him. “Well, I didn’t want you to worry. She got nicer, I swear.”

His eyes narrow. “Uh-huh. And what she said to ya back there definitely reflects just how much she’s changed.”

With a quick stretch of his arm, he snatched your phone out of your hand and slid it into his pocket, fending you off with one arm as he started the car and pulled out, causing you to cease your physical attempts at reclaiming your phone.

“Osamu Miya!! You give that back!! It’s not up to you who I’m friends with, and whether or not I apologize!”

“I know that.” He mumbles, keeping his eyes on the road. “I just don’t like seeing ya sad. And yer always sad when yer friends with assholes like her.”

“Oh, Samu…” Your voice softens and you take his free hand in your own. “I’ll be okay. Really. Honestly she’s probably trying to help me. She just wants me to fix what’s going on-”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” His knuckles turn white with how tightly he’s gripping the steering wheel, but his grasp of your hand is nothing but gentle. “There’s nothing wrong with ya! She says shit like that and you believe her! Yer perfect the way you are, and I hate that you spend time with people who make you feel less than that! I don’t care who yer friends with. I just want them to treat you well. The way ya deserve.”

You deflate, your grip on his hand tightening and he sees you wiping your eyes out of his peripheral. “I know. I know you're right. Can we just...talk about this later? I just want to be sad right now."

'"Of course we can babe. We don't have to talk about it at all if you don't want to. I'm just not letting you apologize to her because she doesn't deserve it."

You laugh, and the sound does things to his heart. "I love you so much Samu. You know that, right?”

He squeezes your hand tightly, knowing that no matter what, the two of you would be okay because you had each other. “I know. And I love ya a million times more than that.”

taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight

#lee's brain writes #osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #osamu miya #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #osamu miya x you #osamu x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #fluff #i think??

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puppyeared · 3 months

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adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

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britneyshakespeare · 5 months

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i hate that i've been complaining about everything in my life lately but if you're a frequent reader of my personal posts (side note, if you are: why. also i'm sorry) but if you remember earlier this week on tuesday i slipped outside and hurt my knee. i didn't end up seeing a doctor about that bc they literally had no openings when i talked to the secretary she was like i am so sorry sweetie. we can't take you for the rest of the week and i was like oh. and after a couple days it didn't hurt sooooo much although i think the limp ive been walking w has not been doing me any favors. but now today especially (? for some reason) BOTH of my legs were really hurting. i'm wondering if that might somehow be related to me getting my period today bc sometimes. you know how period pain can just end up wherever it wants. but then around 8 o'clock today i stubbed the SHIT out of one of my toes and i think i might have injured it (? i dont think it's broken but i cant stand on it and it's been hours). this is my left foot and the knee i hurt on tuesday was on my right leg. i am literally limping on both sides of my body now and i cant stand or walk.

#shout out to me being irritable with my family. sowwyyyyyy #EVERYTHING HURTS WHEN I TRY TO MOVE FROM PLACE TO PLACE #i dont know if i can handle seeing people tomorrow and it's Literally Christmas #i told kaily i wanted her to carry me to my bed earlier like im a little kid who fell asleep in the car and she said no :(#sisters are USELESS #tales from diana #menstruation cw #injury cw #maybe i shouldve gone to urgent care or the er about my knee earlier this week #i was starting to think i didnt seriously injure it but now im having doubts? or maybe i walked on it too much yesterday #i really was doing WAY too much walking yesterday but i kinda couldnt help it #my adhd body Wants To Move all the time even when i know i should be taking it easy #thats always been a problem w me whenever ive needed to limit my exertion. i just want to wander and fidget #i have a hard time staying still it makes me feel insanely unhappy #theres no better way to describe it #but i cant. move. now. sooooo #i dont know if i mightve broken my toe or not but its kinda swollen #how common is it to break a toe really? theyve got. theyve got a lot of little tiny bones #i dont know id think its more common to break a toe if you crushed it under something #i stubbed it. REALLY hard. like harder than even a normal really bad toe-stubbing.#i dont know. i dont know. i dont know.#can i have a wheelchair for christmas just for like a week at least #and get someone to carry me up and down the stairs?

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falled-over · 10 months

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i am actually un diagnosing as autistic due to my proficiency at eye contact. i in fact have to remind myself to look away thats how good i am at it. i would get an A+ in eye contact

#for anyone outside of the know i will explain the joke because my sarcasm doesnt always read as such;#autistic people often struggle with disliking eye-contact and many have practiced rituals for the normal amount of eye contact which are so #distracting to perform correctly that they can lose focus on what the conversation is about #i personally was reprimanded for gazing off into space quite young so i have zero issue looking people in the eye when they talk #but i dont know what the appropriate amount is. so i do too much.#i seriously just stare at them intently for the entire time the both of us are speaking and have to manually look away when i speak (normal #way to act based on observation) and occasionally glance off around me #so the joke is i still struggle with eye contact. but most people wouldnt realise that because they think autism is the same for erryone #my overcompensation due to my natural awkwardness makes me struggle in the opposite way #its also a joke about how because people think all autism is the same many people dont get diagnosed. never been an issue for me personally #because i realised at an age at which support is no longer really offered so all it would get me is banned from entry into some countries #(autistic people are barred from becoming citizens in some countries due to perceived higher support needs)#also i once said to my dad i thought i had adhd and he said 'you dont have adhd. you know that'. and my mum regularly talks about autistic #people as a third party to me. and about how she works with them #to be fair to both of them my dad is 100% autistic and knows it (accepted this fact at51) and my mum is probably autistic but i dont want to #talk to her about it so shes just going to be weird forever #oversharing online is important because what if someone wanted to know that

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agdab · 3 months

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we should try talking about how neurodivergent people approach other neurodivergency that is different from theirs/has stronger symptoms and how they treat that but idk if most of y'all are prepared for that conversation

#work liveblog.#like. for example #ive lost friends over my autism and adhd symptoms #when they themselves were adhd/autistic #but mine was weirder or more offputting or kore frustrating to deal with #but i didnt really know i was being like that til it all boiled over #or they just shift their treatment of me as if i am behaving like that on purpose to them #ans they dont really stop to think like #hey. maybe they just dont realise it. maybe i should say smth #or maybe this is just An Aspect of them that i either need to accept or i need to think over our relationship bc of how i feel ab it #or something like that #literally. just talk.#dont be aggressive dont be like 'you keep doing x or y and its so annoying stop it or else'#just. tell me what im doing. and how it makes you feel. like in a calm way #anyways ive got gripes ab how ppl treat me bc of my symptoms and how they differ from theirs #i get talked down to a lot and it seriously grinds my gears #or they get super frustrated. like man i know youre frustrated but so am i i have to live like this forever you can just leave #and never deal w it ever again. i cant #anyways. i am tired i didnt rest well last night

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thesunshinydays · 2 years

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man im really crying thinking about everything everywhere all at once again

#one of the best movies of all time #it hits so many people for so many different reasons #ive never seen adhd taken so seriously and handled with so much care in a piece of media this popular before #and whenever i see it in something else its always kids its never adult adhd #adult characters that seem to have adhd are so often comic relief and i never realized how exhausting that was #until the daniels gave michelle yeoh that script #so many reviews describe the movie as frenetic or chaotic or an assault on the senses #when thats just how it feels to live life to me constantly #thats how navigating the world feels to me #and evelyn with the box of receipts from all the hobbies she thought she was going to turn into a life #all written off as business expenses because she really thought each one would work #and how her attention is pulled in so many different directions during the irs meeting #such that deirdre thinks shes not paying attention because she doesnt care #and all the alternate evelyns lives being glamorized or unrealistic #because thats how it feels to think of what youre life might have been like if only youd been able to stick with something well enough #and theres comedy in the movie but its clear that evelyn is confused and scared for so much of it #god #and joy and how scared she is too but doing her best to hide it #im losing it man #thank you to the daniels i did not expect to see myself on that screen and yet #adhd tag #sunnyspeaks

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mythicalcoolkid · 2 years

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I hate how much of communication is like ":)) hey I know I joke about it and it's really funny but this symptom is actively distressing to me! :)) I don't want to be doing this and I don't like it!! :))) I am aware that I still have this weird memey grin on my face but I really am being serious I don't enjoy being like this! :)) having this conversation while still Like This is killing me and I wish to anything that there wasn't something so wildly wrong with me! :) I hate this!! :))))))"

#m/cc #negative #it's like that Howl's Moving Castle curse where I need to talk about how I am physically incapable of talking seriously about #stressful things but uh #talking about that serious and debilitating issue for me is. y'know. stressful #whole time I have this dumb memey grin and keep throwing out finger guns and peace signs while trying #to explain that I *do not want to be like this*#like trying to explain that you don't always want to be dancing and it's kind of ruining your life but you're dancing while you say it #I have to be funny to make up for my inconvenience + my trauma was useless if I can't make it entertaining + I never learned to #feel understand and process or even identify my emotions + I don't know how to handle the feelings that come with processing the #things that have happened to me and them being a Big Deal That Hurt Me + desperately wanting approval by being entertaining #+ not wanting to be a Downer #so uh. yeah! this has been a really serious and upsetting thing for me since I was maybe 8? and it's REALLY hard to express that I'm being #serious about it... because I also can't take it seriously... :|#it's a horrible curse loop that's so painful to ever try to break through #okay. for the record I've gotten much better at this #it's just worse the past couple days because Slightly Serious Life Event I Can't Process and (currently) late night with ADHD meds worn off #unable to stop making jokes for five seconds meant couldn't do some stuff I really wanted to do even when I tried to stop #I hate it! :)))) it's gonna be fine it just. I hate it!! :))

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frostbite-the-bat · 14 days

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i hgoupe I'm The roller guy to yall

#I'm srs I need recognition for things I like #I NEED TO BE Known That I like This thing #Not famous but #I'M!! THE ENJOYUER...#I can get like that with clash around friends in general but I keep it lows #But in Tghe fandom. I'm srs I may avoid ppl if I'm like #Man pplproly see them as the Roller guy hahaha they're popular and draw Tghe guy a lot and nobody likes me and #Help me #It's so dark here #What mental illness is causing this #ITS SO COLD....#WHERE AM I... IM SHOEING NEGATIVE MENTAL ILLNESS....#I will go crazy reaches to get recognized for a Thing usually by Overworking On Fanart #But also I'm just a perfectionist also so that doesn't help either #And then oops haha adhd make me NOT feel rewarded for ANYTHING and it's ALL MISERY #At least friends are nice and love me and I feel great Showing Stuff and Them Telling me stuff #But I generally feel disliked by people #I may just be over thinking but I can't shake off the feeling that people murmur about me negatively. Oh it's the annoying lame guy bitch #I think people also don't like me because I talk too much I get personal in art posts and I talk a lot #People tend to ignore that #And idk #I have friends who love me and I love them and that means more than anyrhing #But seeing anyone get recognized for Liking Thing makes me #Seriously want to do physical harm to myself sometimes and that's not a joke #I suffer Self Bite when Stressed. I don't know how to Regulate Sometimes.#Why do you think I block so many ppl and whine abt it #I get jealous upset at nothing feeling threatened. sometimes yea ppl post genuinely triggering stuff but half the time I'm just like #HIISS. HISSSS #HiiIIISSS #I need to have my brain cleaned and changed for a better one this isn't kt

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learn-and-accept · 7 months

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Tiktok permanently banned my account and my device???? Like what the actual fuck???

#i apparently violated youth safety and well being gudielines which i seriously dont understand #99% of my fyp was adults & the the odd minor that came across immediately got blocked bc i have 0 interest in what kids are doing online #ive literally never comment on a tiktok or posted one so how the fuck did i do anything wrong???#and i sent an email to reappeal the decision and they just doubled down #they won't even tell me what i did #im just so fucking confused and so pissed bc ive reported so many accounts and videos that actually violated guidelines #and tiktok found nothing wrong with that content #but i get banned?? me??? the bitch who watches too many videos about crocheting and dnd and baking and sims 4??? i get banned???#and i can't even make a new account!!!!#how in the fuck does that make any sense???#and im mad because i so many videos saved for cool crafts and recipes that i wanted to make and now they're just all gone #uugh #tiktok fuck you #personal #also i tried making a new account and literally within 2 seconds it got temporarily banned #this shit is wild #anyway guess now i gotta find something else for my adhd brain to consume when i cant focus on long form content

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inkskinned · 4 months

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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

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juiles · 8 months

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Hiding it

Requested: yes

Summary: you’ve had adhd your whole life and have managed to keep it from your team and 2 year long girlfriends. They start to get snippy with you and when you get an injury and they find out, you snap a little.

Type: angst and fluff

Pairing: Wandanat x reader

Warnings: swearing, anger, blood, gunshot wound, fighting, yelling, argument

Important questions!!!!

Masterlist here!

Request here!

A/N: so this idea was given to me by a very lovely reader and honestly i fell in love with the idea! I have ADHD and honestly it just gave me some outlet which i needed tbh.

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Part 2

It had taken you 18 years to officially get diagnosed with ADHD. Your parents couldn’t have cared less about your well being which is why it took so long. You had been so shamed for the way you were that when you started with the Avengers, you just decided not to tell them. You had your coping skills and your medication. You didn’t need them to think anything less about you. The only person who knew was Cho and that was because she did your prescriptions for you.

You weren’t great at making sure they were refilled and that meant you messed up. Small things that wouldn’t normally set people off however, they were so consistent that people started to notice.

You had been dating Natasha and Wanda for a few years now and had managed to avoid them finding out so far. Perhaps that’s what had gotten you into this predicament. If you had just been honest with them, they wouldn’t have been so mean to you.

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“Really y/n?! Again?!” You flinched, hearing Natasha’s voice rise slightly as you two sat in the quinjet while Tony flew you three home. “Why can’t you just pay attention?! God damn it. You could have gotten someone killed!”

You felt like sinking into the seat and disappearing from her line of sight and not saying anything, however that made her more mad. “Really?! You’re going to ignore me?!” She stood up, her hands flying up into the air as she stomped her way into the cockpit leaving you alone to overthink what had just happened.

You had lost track of the snipper that stood on the roof of the building across from you after Tony had mentioned a helicopter near by that you ALSO needed to keep an eye on. You couldn’t keep an eye on both but felt bad so instead of mentioning it to them, you tried to do both and in the attempt, last track of both of them. Luckily, Natasha had gotten the intel quick enough that the three of you were able to get out unscathed. Now it was just having to listen to them both bitch about your mistake.

Once the quinjet landed, you slowly grabbed your things and trudged outside, hoping to have Wanda comfort you but much to your dismay, Natasha had gotten to her first and as soon as the brunette landed her eyes in you, she instantly started berating you for being so careless and “how dare you be so risqué about Nattys life!”. This wasn’t the first time they had yelled at you. Last week, after a mission, the two of them ignored you for 3 days because of an accident you had. This time, instead of taking it, you trudged your way inside and instead of turning left and entering the bedroom the three of you shared, you went up 3 more doors and opened the door on the right to reveal your bedroom.

A room you hadn’t stayed in, in years due to moving into the shared room. You closed the door and threw your duffel on your bed and with a groan, you hauled ass to the bathroom to strip out of your suit and get in the shower. The warm water felt nice against your dirty skin and you relished in it however, the feeling only lasted a moment before you heard a door open and Natasha and Wanda were barging into your room causing you to get out of the shower and change into some spare clothes.

“Seriously y/l/n. That was a really reckless mistake that could have caused a life!” Wanda ranted storming into the room as you opened the bathroom door. “What if Natasha had gotten shot?! Huh?!” The guilt that already gnawed slightly at your stomach intensified as you ducked your head squeezing your eyes shut. “I would have NEVER forgiven you if something had happened to her! Do you understand me?!” You nodded softly before Natasha grabbed the witch’s hand.

“Come on love. Let’s go have a shower hmm?” She said, loud enough for the words to sting you. “I don’t want to see her face right now.” With that the two left, slamming your bedroom door shut, causing you to jump. You stayed in your room for 2 days after that. No one except Pepper cared enough to come and check on you. The woman had been bringing you food, which you barely touched and reminded you to sleep.

On the third day, Fury came knocking and told you that you had a mission and to be in the jet in 15 minutes. You stuffed your duffel bag, threw on your suit and slipped your way to the jet, managing to avoid your angry girlfriends.

The mission, which was supposed to be an easy single person intel recon, turned into a 3 day stakeout where you ended up getting shot in the shoulder at the end right before escaping. Upon your return, you were whisked away to the medbay where Cho, Natasha and Wanda were waiting. The latter two, with angry looking faces. “Come on Y/l/n. Let’s get that stitched up hmm?” Cho said guiding you to sit down as you actively avoided the assassin and the witch standing beside you.

“Where the hell were you?! You didn’t tell anyone you were gone y/n/n! What if you died?!” Wanda said, fear and anger etched into her features.

“It was stupidly reckless y/n.” Natasha said, her face her normal calm facade.

Cho sent the two looks to shut up as she finished stitching you up. “I’m assuming since you were gone for three days that you didn’t take your meds so when you take them tomorrow, remember you’re going to have side effects okay? Also, you need to come and get a refill soon.” Cho said softly to you as she finished up the bandage.

Your eyes widened and your head whipped up to look at her before quickly stealing a glance at the two avengers frozen beside you. “M-medications?! Side effects?!” Natasha stuttered out. “What is she talking about detka?”

Chos eyes widened commically as she looked at you. “I thought they knew! I’m so sorry y/n/n!!” the doctor rushed out. You simply shook your head and muttered an assurance that it was okay before she skittered out the door. You slowly stood with a grunt and brushed past your two girlfriends with the intent to head back to your room to clean up. They followed behind you, scrambling with their words before you quickly stopped and turned on your heel with an angry look on your face.

“Shut up!” You seethed at the two who froze and stared at you wide eyed. “God for once just stop. Not that it’s any of your business but i have ADHD. A pretty severe case and Cho does my meds for me. All those “stupid little reckless mistakes” were caused by something i have NO control over. You two couldn’t have given two shits about me for the past 5 days so why the fuck would you care now?!” You felt all the anger in your body start to boil up. “FUCK!” In a state of anger, you turned around and punched a hole in the wall beside you which caused your knuckles to start bleeding however, it seemed as if you didn’t even notice as you continued to punch the wall with no thought to your safety at all.

The girls were in a state of shock for a moment before Natasha grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you away from the wall, Wanda using her powers to hold your hands still. “Baby stop! Stop! You’re hurting yourself!” Wanda said walking towards your angry looking figure, your eyes narrowed on her as she reached her hand up and cupped your cheek which seemed to snap you back to reality. “Take a deep breath my love. Just take a moment okay?”

Your eyes filled with tears as you stared into her blue eyes then turned to face Natasha’s green ones. “I-I’m sorry… i’m sorry i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so angry. I c-can’t always stop it.” You muttered pulling your hands to your chest. “Without t-the meds I-I don’t have good control of my emotions… they-they feel like they’re trying to rip through my body…” Wanda merely hushed you as Natasha pulled your shaking form into her body, being extra cautious of the now open and bleeding wound on your shoulder.

“No detka. We’re sorry. Were sorry we couldn’t help you and instead just got angry with you…” Natasha murmured into your hair. “Why didn’t you say anything…?”

You merely shook your head and clutched to her shirt with your bleeding hands as your body began to rack with sobs. “Shhhh… you’re okay malyshka. Let’s go to our room hmm?” You nodded softly as the two lead you into your shared bed and settled down, with you curled up between them. You sat and cried for a while before the sobs turned u to sniffles and Wanda pulled away causing you to whimper.

“I’m just getting the first aid kit my love. We need to restitch your shoulder and bandage your hands okay? I’ll be 2 minutes.” With a kiss pressed to your forehead, the witch shot off and was back in less than a minute with a full first aid kit in hand. You were shifted to be leaning into her warm body as Natasha started cleaning you up. The three of you sat in silence as this happened until you were all bandaged up and securely back in their arms.

“I’m a burden…” You whispered softly. Wanda went to say something but got stopped by a look from Natasha. They knew you needed to get it out. “I’m a burden and weak and stupid. That’s what they called me…”

“Who detka…?”

“My parents… kids at school… teachers…. I was never good enough and when i turned 18 and finally got diagnosed with ADHD it made sense to me but i feel this gnawing shame in my stomach. A shame that was shoved in me from birth. That who I am is nothing more than a burden and no one should have to deal with me. The meds help a lot… i appear almost normal. Those times the boys have jokingly told me I’m annoying and it seems like i have a big reaction to it is because it’s my biggest fear. That my family will leave me again, that everyone i live will get bored with having to help me with everyday tasks and leave me alone again… I know i can be a lot sometimes. I know i can be stand off ish. But i’m scared. I can’t handle losing another family…” You squeezed your eyes shut, holding back the tears as you tried to wriggle out of the girls arms before the two pulled you in tighter and squeezed you, the both pressing kisses to your hair and face while whispering assurances to you.

“No baby. You are not a burden. You are not annoying. You are not too much. You are our perfect girl. We are so sorry we messed up but you need to know that you love you with everything in our hearts and we NEVER want you to be alone again or feel like you’re weak because you’re so strong.” You scoffed lightly rolling your eyes at Wanda’s words.

“You are y/n. You are so strong to be holding all of this to yourself and not be able to tell anyone else but never again okay? From now on, Wanda and I will be here for you. To support you and love you and care for you. In the ways people should have when you were little.” Natasha said, with a finality in her tone and a kiss on your head, making you believe she was telling the truth to some extent.

Of course it wasn’t perfect after that but they kept true to their word. Everyday, the would remind you of their love for you in the small things. They would make sure you had taken your pills and eaten more than an energy drink with them. They would leave kisses on your head as you walked past. They set reminders on their phones to remind you that you had a load of laundry in or that you had said you would do the dishes. Small things to remind you that they will fight by your side through it all. While they may have seemed insignificant to the others, you knew how much these small things meant and you cherished them all.

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shiningstages · 2 years

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Okay, I’ve got queued up stuff ( that I mixed up a little bit oooh will the next thing be a reply or a prompt who knows~? ) that should last through the weekend. Might will myself to do a bit more, but I’m also honestly proud of how much I have written so maybe now I’m on weekend break!! Next week I’ll be working on final projects for school and internship, but I’ll try to pop in here and on Diantha when I have the energy for it~

#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( also if you want to continue something and you don't see a reply for it this weekend; just shoot me the link~#i have a much smaller list of drafts now ( that i keep staring at and then looking away from ghfgfhgf ) so i'm!! excite #i really am just a girl who can do stuff if she actually puts her mind to it wow omg #to derail this i've been seriously debating if i still have adhd or not and if that affects?? my everything in life??#but being tested and/or getting meds cost money so i want a career before figuring that out!!#i just took adhd stuff when i was a kid; and then in 3rd grade they took me off it because i was 'doing just fine in school!!'#and then *looks at some of my middle school / early high school grades* yeah hmmm about that #i have been thinking about it more too since i am going to be graduating college very soon #this last year of semesters has not made it feel like the homestretch towards my BA but!! yeah #and that after that big chunk of my time and life is gone that i......want to do more!! and figure more out!! finally!!#though in my head it's like 'become vtuber > find adult career > try to move out > figure out health care soon before you age out'#which probably shouldn't be how that goes!! but here we are in my brain #anyways y'all have a fun weekend~ )

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mysticmikalla · 6 months

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Stardew Valley Bachelors Cuddling Headcanons

thinkin' about cuddly bachelors to Cope

Harvey

Harvey is one of those people who only lay in bed when he is ready to go to sleep, so cuddling is usually a pre-sleep activity, an added treat at the end of his long day

I think he likes being both the little and big spoon, but prefers being held just a liiiitle bit more

He likes to lay with you after a shower, a shave and his teeth are brushed, because once he lays down with you.... only the shrill sound of his alarm going off in the morning will be enough to get him back up

Harvey is one of those people who hate a rushed routine and take punctuality very seriously

But because waking up in your arms just feels too darn good sometimes, he sets an alarm a little earlier than his usual one, just so he can be awake enough to enjoy the first minutes of the morning being held by you

Shane

I believe Shane likes to be horizontal more than he likes to be vertical on a good day, anyway

But after you? Oh boy

There is no feeling like coming home and being able to sink into the mattress, his body heavy with the weight of the day

And now on top of that he then gets to have the person he loves laying on his chest? Tracing his skin with your fingers absentmindedly? Massaging his scalp with the pads on your fingers?

It’s his favorite thing in the world, actually

He'll cling on to you especially tight after a rough day, only reluctantly letting you go if you absolutely must

Sam

Although Sam loves it when it’s just you and him and his bed in your own little world, this man cannot sit still for too long

If you’re just laying together and talking, he needs to be playing with your fingers, with your hair, playfully biting your arm, a tickle attack or two

He also likes to lay on you. Like, fully - body completely on top of yours as he scrolls on his phone or rambles about something while you run your hands through his blond hair

Maybe he has too much energy, or maybe it's the ADHD I headcanon him to have, or maybe he's just really excited to finally get some alone time with you

… Sam just wants to be all over you, all at once

Unless he’s super exhausted or it’s before going to sleep, cuddling with Sam is not usually a bonding relaxing experience, but rather bonding over a playful one

Sebastian

Because of how he is and how he prefers to show and receive affection, Sebastian has always been kind of touch-starved, tbh

Especially in the beginning of the relationship

I think it’s no secret that he isn’t a very touchy person in general, but...

Sebastian liked cuddling a lot more than he was willing to admit or ask for at first

But back when you two first started dating, you would waste days away in his bed, talking about nothing and everything for hours, sleeping together, playing together, getting high, having sex, repeat

Just… you and him and him and you in your own world, limbs comfortably tangled with each other

Especially during the winter when you didn’t have as much farm work, you two would only pull away from each other for bare necessities

After you’re married and he’s moved in, he likes that the bed is bigger and sometimes you two can lay together and do your own thing in your own space

But in the end he’ll always gravitate back towards you

Elliot

Cuddling with Elliot is peaceful

His voice takes on another melody when it’s just you and him in the comfort of his bed

The lights are dim but bright enough so that he can softly read you to sleep

He plays with your hair, his touches soft and gentle along the exposed skin of your arms

And he smells so good, and it's all around you as you lay in the comfort of his arms

Elliot likes it when you’re draped on him and he gets to wrap his arms around you and envelop you fully

Any position that allows him to be so close to you is his favorite

It’s…. safe. And Elliot likes safe

Alex

I firmly believe Alex prefers being the little spoon the majority of the time

Sometimes muscly jocks just want to be held, you know?

He likes to feel your body pressed against his from behind, and he’ll pull on your arms, tightening them around him, as if he’s letting you know how much he doesn’t want you to let go quite yet

He'll kiss the top of your hair, then bury his face on your neck and place kisses there too, sometimes innocent, sometimes not

Although not as bad as Sam, Alex doesn’t like to sit still for too long, either, so cuddling sessions are either before bed or a brief but welcome break during the day

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv alex #idk man im having cramps today and i just want to be held

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inkblot-skyz · 2 years

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Ok. So. Yknow how i was talking in the tags on soulbond posts and stuff?? Uhhhh yeah so besties i was doing more research and all of a sudden my internal monologue is doing a Thing where it does the adhd bouncing off of one topic onto another but like. when people are like it in conversation

I'm starting to think I'm very much not a singlet and I'm not sure i like this revelation given their behaviour

#this has happened before but like. wow. besties do you ever shut up #seriously someone tell these assholes to shut up gsbsbgsgshs #inkblot rants #inkblot sucks #maybe we ALL have adhd and that's why my brain sucks at retaining info and focusing so much #idk i still think it's unintentional soulbonding or whatever #because one of them kinda talks like how i imagined a very specific oc of mine does :/#BTW when i say this has happened before i mean like #adhd brain going crazy with its train of thought like how i described???#but i guess now i have this info it kinda just??? makes more sense????#at least i have an idea of why i feel the need to listen to music so much now one of them's screaming about it #idk who exactly it would be but istg if it's another accidentally soulbound oc. SPECIFICALLY WHO I THINK IT IS. i will scream #sketch come get your soulmate or whatever she's holding me for ransom until we listen to funky music #(/j)

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blackopals-world · 7 months

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Idia: I just don't understand. What's the use? Why should I take these?

Nurse!Yuu: the medication will help you improve your mood. At the moment you aren't producing enough dopamine. You might see improvement on your outlook on life.

Idia: Easy for you to say. After all you have a great life as is. Perfect family, friends, and life.

Nurse!Yuu: I never claimed that.

Idia: But it's so obvious. You and your siblings are all in the medical field and all your friends are so important.

Nurse!Yuu: That's true. But we all have our own battles we fight.

Idia: Like what?

Nurse!Yuu: Well let's start with my fellow doctors. Marin Biologist!Yuu has separation anxiety. It's not their fault. They just don't like being alone. Vet!Yuu has insomnia. They both had stressful upbringings which only heightened these issues.

Idia: That's not too bad.

Nurse!Yuu: Chef!Yuu suffers from severe phobias related to mushrooms, certain fish, and snakes because they are afraid of poisons. Because they were poisoned as a child. Theater kid!Yuu has panic attacks. You can probably guess why.

Idia:...

Nurse!Yuu: Onsen!Yuu has body dysmorphia and a fear of being seen as masculine. She has been through alot and worries about her transition.

Idia: (anyone can look at her and can see a woman)

Nurse!Yuu: Maid!Yuu as OCD. Not the cleaning kind. They have to do many rituals to get through the day like open cabinets 4 times and turn the lights on and off 7 times. It causes alot of stress for them. Delivery!Yuu is a selective mute. It stems from having delayed speech development.

Idia: I didn't know.

Nurse!Yuu: the list goes on Dancer!Yuu vertigo, vitiligo which causes them anxiety. Special Forces!Yuu, PTSD obviously. Disciplinary Officer!Yuu, misophonia. Jester!Yuu-

Idia:Let me guess, ADHD

Nurse!Yuu:Bipolar II, they are actually going though alot right now and I would like you to take this seriously. This is not a joke.

Idia: I fell like I was set up for that one.

Nurse!Yuu: You weren't. How about your partner Otaku!Yuu?

Idia: I know already. Dyslexia, and they hate when people talk about it.

Nurse!Yuu: They also have depression. Just like you Idia. I'm just trying to get to see that everyone is going through something. If I hadn't gotten permission from everyone to tell you this I doubt you'd understand.

Idia: and what about you? What's wrong with you?

Nurse!Yuu: Easy. I'm a workaholic. It's destroys so many of my interpersonal relationships and prevents me from forming meaningful connections due to my mimd being focused only on my job. Even as said job drains the life out of me.

Idia: You said that way too cheerfully.

#nurse!yuu #vet!Yuu #marine biologist!yuu #chef!yuu #onsen!yuu #special forces!yuu #otaku!yuu #maid!yuu #delivery person!yuu #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #twisted wonderland idia #idia x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu

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miupow · 2 months

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⭑𓂃 GETTING STONED W/ TXT .ᐟ ୭ ˚. [ HEADCANONS]

☆〜（ゝ。∂）txt x gn!reader ⋆ cw// drugs/marijuana mentions! sfw, tooth rotting fluff <𝟑 kissing, cuddling, implied established relationships

⤷ what i imagine it's like smoking with the boys . . .

연준 YEONJUN

i imagine him high is a lot like him drunk lol

soft, sleepy, cuddly and just the biggest baby whining that he wants kisses now

likes using your lap as a pillow for his head, the type to nuzzle his face in your belly and wrap his arms tight around you-- won't you play with his hair? tell him what an amazingwonderfulhandsome boyfriend he is?

tries very hard not to fall asleep on you but fails every time

pls take care of him :(

finds the other boys annoying when they're high lol but still does it with them because they're his baby brothers and he loves them no matter how much they piss him off <33

cannot smoke without you because he'd spend the entire sesh going "where's my baby?? i wanna see my baby, i miss them so much :(("

수빈 SOOBIN ⭑𓂃

the kind to just stare blankly at the wall for hours

"bin, you okay?" "uh huh..."

probably gets sensory overload easily, don’t have too much going on at once or he’ll get a headache :<

soogyu is my dream blunt rotation im gonna be honest they're so fucking funny they just be sayin shit

high bin says the some of funniest things you've ever heard in your life but he has no idea he's even being funny

"why are you laughing at me??? :(("

gasps when you tell him you love him even though you tell him every day

“REALLY??? I LOVE YOU TOO!!!”

will get into the dumbest arguments, especially with gyu?? “what do you think would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon…” “what the hell is wrong with you??”

“no, dumbass, that’s not even how ufos work. look it up.”

범규 BEOMGYU ⭑𓂃

true delulu headcanon time here but hear me out okay

he's so crazy adhd brain high energy when he's sober but i feel like when he's stoned he's so. chill?

put a movie on or something and he'll be quiet for hours he's just so transfixed by the moving colors and lights

just wants to cuddle with you in silence or like. talk about deep shit

you honestly kind of love it because you'll have conversations about your future and your relationship that gyu wouldn't take seriously sober

he's very upfront and straightforward with his feelings when he's stoned, which is so unlike him

says some corny shit with stars in his eyes like "i wanna spend forever with you" and then regrets it later because he sounded like a dweeb

he's so whipped for you and he can't hide it :<

let him lay on your chest, playing with his long pretty hair, calling him beomie while he looks up at you with hazy, unfocused but so in love eyes

again soogyu = dream blunt rotation gyu is so funny

“do crabs think fish are flying??” type mf i love him very much

태현 TAEHYUN ⭑𓂃

this might be an unpopular opinion but tyun is absolutely the biggest stoner out of the five of them

i feel like he would smoke to relax, not necessarily to get high-- he's on stress overdrive 24/7, especially during comeback season,, he smokes to finally make his brain go quiet for at least a night

big social smoker but also enjoys smoking alone or just with you

i see him the most like his sober self, quiet and content and not really paying much attention to anything

normally you have to fight him to get his picture taken but when he's stoned he'll just let you shove a camera in his face and you love it sm,, "tyunnie!! baby! smile!"

very content with letting you sit on his lap while he zones out, nuzzling his neck-- he loves feeling needed, loves taking care of you

thinks everyone else is very entertaining, just enjoys watching his brothers act like idiots

he's such a bottled up guy, doesn't like to show or talk about how he's feeling ;; but he'll open up easily once you get him loosened up

휴닝카이 HUENING KAI ⭑𓂃

i want to smoke with this boy so bad. it's not even funny.

he's so cuddly and sweet and giggly,,, i lob him,,

he gets too out of it to kiss you so he makes your plushies kiss eachother instead hehe

kiss his freckles :< just give him so many smooches all over his face while he laughs that it tickles

spooning is a need not a want. he'd rest his chin on the top of your head and hold you soso close while you lay on his bed watching a movie ;;

like soobin he probably gets overstimulated easily,, he needs the lights off and he likes when you wear soft/fuzzy clothes,, ur his plushie now :<

will not let you get up for anything at all. will literally follow you to the bathroom and wait outside of the door like a puppy

SOOO much skinship he needs to touch and be touched so badly

goes totally nonverbal when he's stoned. will not say a word for hours

TUMMY RUBS also lays his head on your belly ;;

thinks literally everything is funny. show him a picture of like. a horse and he'd laugh at it

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