#but now I see it. and I see this woman have a horrible trauma response. which I’ve never experienced to that extent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-i-interrupting · 3 months

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Hi there! Could I request fem!reader x husk reuniting in hell?

Maybe they used to be together when they were alive but then a misunderstanding happened and they split up/ or one of them just died 😭

Someone from hotel found about it, found her and brought her there or maybe she just came there and met him. Idk I leave it to you.

I know it might be stupid but I really love this trope and want to read something like this with Husk :3

We’ll Meet Again

“So,” Angel began, laying in the bar with a perfect view of Husks’s hands as he fluidly went through the motions of mixing a drink, “what’s the ring for?”

Angel had said a lot of dumb shit. Like, a lot but he’d never said something that threw Husk off enough to actually spill something.

“Fuck,” Husk grumbled.

He grabbed a rag to clean the mess. It was then Angel realized that the only reason he’d ever seen Husk grab the cloth was to clean up someone else’s mess, never his own.

Angel sat upright. “So, I’m guessing it’s personal?”

Husk looked at Angel and paused his cleaning. “No shit.” He continued on.

It wasn’t until weeks later that Angel would see Husk wasted. In fact, all the hotel residents would see Husk truly wasted for the first time.

He came in, barely able to stand much less walk and ignored everyone, promptly flipping Charlie off when she asked if he needed help, and continued to make his way to the stairs.

“Oh, yeah,” Niffty said, “it’s that time of year again.”

“What could possibly have our resident day drunk absolutely plastered?” Angel asked.

“This happens every year?” Charlie asked, much more concern coming from her voice compared to Angel’s snark which covered his own.

Alastor appeared at the end of the stairs. “Ah, the woos of a broken heart strike once again,” he said as he spun his microphone before he leaned on it, staring up the staircase. “One would think after over seventy years, he would be over it, hmm?”

“That’s not fair, sir,” Niffty said as she joined him. “She was the love of his life.”

“And his life is now over,” he said in response.

“I’m gonna go check on him,” Niffty said as she began darting up the stairs. “I don’t want to have to clean vomit out of the carpet.”

“What’s wrong with Husk?” Charlie asked, standing with her hands clutched close to her chest.

“Nothing he hasn’t faced before, my dear,” Alastor said. “It happens every year. For a week expect him to disappear for long periods of time and come back completely zozzled. Although, he may be inclined to stay if I procure him something stronger. I would love a front row seat at a stage play compared to a parade, a rather sad parade but a parade nonetheless.”

“What happened?”

“Hmm? Yes, well, I suppose you don’t know, do you?” Alastor said. “Our dear Husker used to be married, unfortunately before they could grow old together, they happened to get into a lover’s quarrel and before it could be resolved, his darling wife was murdered in a street mugging gone wrong.”

Angel felt his heart sink down into his stomach. That’s why Husk had gotten so defensive. He’d probably been trying to avoid thinking about it and there Angel went with his big mouth, bringing up something that hurt him right around a trauma days.

“That’s horrible!” Charlie exclaimed.

“Yes, indeed but life is hardly kind, my dear. Death is rather the same,” Alastor said before he went to take stock of the liquor at the bar.

It was a long time before Angel learned a name but that’s all he had to go on, was a name and a description of what you looked like with an off hand comment or two about some of your hobbies.

A year paced and Angel was on his way back to the Hotel from a long night at work when he saw a woman crying as she walked. Normally he’d walk on by. It’s not like it was an uncommon sight to see in Hell but he didn’t. Something compelled him to stop.

“You alright, toots?” he asked as he slowed down so he didn’t walk past you.

You looked up at him. You weren’t ugly crying. You weren’t really showing any emotion but Angel knew just how much of a curse it was to bottle things up. He knew a vacant cry wasn’t any less concerning than a violent one.

“I’m fine,” you said as you quickly tried to wipe you tears.

Angel’s eyes flickered down to where you were fiddling with a ring.

“Martial problems?”

You huffed a laugh. “Yeah, something like that.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Maybe it’s because I’m just bored and noisy but I’ve also been staying at the Princess’s redemption Hotel. Maybe it’s made me a more carin’ person.”

You said nothing. The two of you walked side by side for a few minutes, both going in the same direction.

“It’s my death anniversary,” you blurted out.

Angel winced in sympathy. “Those are rough. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “It’s not dying that bothered me. It just—“ you felt yourself getting choked up— “I died while having a fight with my husband.”

“Did he kill you?” Angel asked.

“No, no, someone else did but we were fighting and it was over something stupid,” you clarified. “I slammed the door after yelling some bad things. They were the last things I ever said to him.”

Angel’s brow furrowed. “This is gonna sound stupid if I’m wrong but,” and he asked if your name was the one Husk had given him not that long ago. When you said yes, he laughed a bit hysterically. “Fuck, I didn’t think I was right.”

You followed Angel into the Hazbin Hotel. You were wary. You didn’t believe him. You didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“Hey, where’s Husk?” Angel asked.

Charlie looked up from the charts she had spread across the table as she sat on the couch. “Vaggie helped him go up to his room not that long ago.”

“How was he doing?”

“Not good.” Charlie got up. “Who’s this.”

When Angel said your name and Charlie gasped it gave you a bit of hope. A random sinner on the street fucking with you was to be expected. The Princess of Hell who prided herself on her kindness? That’s as a bit more trustworthy.

“Here, let me take you to his room,” Charlie said as she grabbed your hand and pulled you up the stairs.

The door barely creaked as it was opened. It revealed a damn near exact replica of your home in life and on the bed was a black tuxedo cat with red wings curled up on his side.

“That’s him?” you asked, twisting your ring on your finger.

Charlie nodded. You hesitantly stepped into the room.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Charlie said as she closed the door.

You stood there for a minute. You just stared at the cat that was supposed to be your husband. He looked so tense, even in sleep.

You took another step forward and then another until you were beside the bed. On the nightstand was a hat and tie.

You picked up the loose tie and twisted it between your fingers. For some reason you couldn’t explain, you held it up to your nose. You nearly collapsed as so many memories rushed to you from the smell, from his smell. It smelled like the same cologne he used to dot on before he went to perform or go play a round of cards at the bar.

You tried to keep the sobs bubbling up in your throat at bay but it was all for not. They came out anyway as you curled in on yourself, standing at the bedside.

There was a groan.

“The fuck?” your husband’s voice said.

You said his name, his real name and his eyes went wide as he shot up. He swayed and caught himself on the headboard.

“Am I hallucinating?” he asked.

You couldn’t get words out to answer. Instead you’d hugged him, causing you both to fall onto the mattress as neither of you had the energy to keep yourself up.

You woke up the next morning wrapped in Husk’s arms and wings. You felt safe for the first time since you fell to Hell.

You didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to let go. Luckily you didn’t have to.

No one was surprised when they didn’t see Husk for the next week. They were surprised when he came out of his room smiling, with you by his side and he refused to let go.

#hazbin husk x reader #husk x reader

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coriphallus · 10 months

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Nuance is dead apparently so I’ll be very very blunt. After I got SA’d (for the first time) I had a slutty streak that didn’t help matters. Since I didn’t feel one way or the other about sex I used it for various purposes, I was very liberal with my body.

After I had one mind blowing experience with a woman I too thought I’m magically cured and good to have tons of healthy sex, I too participated in orgies and such and found myself dissociating. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I’d be ‘broken’ forever so I kept pushing it.

I have seen how it affects the people I’ve been with, too. From denial “but you liked when we were doing x/y/z” to dread “omg did I do something horrible?!”

What I did was harmful, for sure, but it was a kind of self harm born out of desperation. I did it to myself, I had a choice to walk away, and I didn’t. Half the time I didn’t even know I had that choice and I blamed other people for forcing me.

I am fine now, my mistakes are how I learned to know myself better and be at peace with my sexuality.

I know I’m not alone in this because it was another survivor who eventually convinced me to seek professional help. And I see a lot of people relating to astarions flavour of trauma in a very specific way, so I don’t think I’m being delusional.

When y’all write things like “of course astarion would hate the foursome, his story was concluded at the graveyard scene, we didn’t need to see that” it makes me think that well yes, maybe you did. Maybe it’s good that you did see it in a video game in fact, so you could learn how real people deal with these things from a fictional setting.

The graveyard scene is incredibly clear in stating that it’s the beginning of his story. Now he’s gonna fuck up a bunch. And I’m not sorry to throw this out there but no tav’s cunt/dick is good enough to cure 200 years of trauma

(This is not about HCs or smut writers, I too draw astarion smut on the side. go nuts show nuts w/e. It’s about a very specific kinda response I got to a previous post)

#tw: ptsd #tw:rape #astarion #I’m sorry the game character is written too realistically

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thehollowwriter · 1 month

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I think we should talk more about the mysgony when it comes to parents in media, and how fathers are favoured and praised for the most the most basic shit while mothers are demonised for making mistakes or being bad. This is gonna be a long one, buckle up.

I hate Mrs Rosehearts as much as the next guy, but it's unfair that Mr Rosehearts is not given similar criticism for allowing his wife to treat Riddle the way he does. I hardly see people bring him up apart from mentioning that Riddle's parents probably have an unhappy marriage, and some people say something along the lines of "poor Mr Rosehearts, struggling with a wife like that".

Of course, we don't know enough about his character to gauge how Mrs Rosehearts treats him, bit it's clear he just passively stands to the side when it comes to whatever Mrs Rosehearts wants to do with Riddle. That itself is very harmful and it's own form of abuse, imo.

The same applies to Alador Blight from the Owl House. He's praised for being a wonderful dad that finally came through and stood up to his "horrible wretched bitch of a wife" (who, if she was a guy, would probably have more people analysing her and trying to find ways to sympathise with her just saying)..

And while, yes, he did stand up to her and that's a good thing, the general consensus is he was a brilliant dad from the start that was held back by his wife's wicked ways. But... that's not true? His first appearance is him telling Amity to stop being friends with Willow. He ignores his children constantly, and, like Mr Rosehearts, stands passively to the side when Odaliah treats her children like her property.

He's a neglectful parent at best and just as concerned with image and status at Odaliah at worst. But... that stuff is just forgotten. Most people just say "we thought he was bad but it turns out he was manipulated by his wife". He is HIS OWN PERSON. You cannot just blame everything on his "evil manipulative wife" (which is also smt that sometimes happens irl when both parents are abusive). He is still fully capable of making his own decisions.

And again, it's unfortunate, but if Odaliah were to be given his treatment or if Alador were a woman, the general response would be "That's sad but not an excuse! I can't believe she was forgiven!"

The worst I can think of atm, is Silco and Vi from Arcane. Now ofc they're not married. But the circumstances are similar.

Silco is praised to the high heavens for being one of the best dads in animation (#1 goes to Doofenshmirtz ofc, which I agree with) and the reasons for this are because he... shows his care, puts Jinx first, and loves her. Wow. Fucking groundbreaking am I right. The bar is soooo high/s

The thing is, Jinx is a child soldier. She works for Silco, protects his shipments of Shimmer, takes out the enemies that need taken out, etc. He found her as a young child, and when we cut to the present, she's murdering people without so much as flinching, even delighting in it, and suffering badly from trauma and hallucinations.

Obviously, Jinx was not given the care she needed, and was instead trained to assist Silco.

Am I denying Silco loves her? Of course not! He clearly does. But that's just not good enough. He's a loving dad, but not a good one. He's not the father that neither Jinx nor Powder needed.

Meanwhile, we have Vi. Vi loves Powder, protects her, cares for her, tries to keep her out of harm, stands up for her, and so on. She cares so deeply for Powder, and you can see it. The moment she got out of prison, her first goal was to find Powder.

However, because she hit Powder once, and shouted at her, she's apparently an abusive monster who never cared about Powder. Reminder, she hit Powder because her entire family was killed in front of her and then she learned Powder was the reason that happened. She was like... 14? And she immediately left to calm down. She did not abandon Powder, she left to take a breather because she realised she was too angry. And when she came back, she was drugged and arrested.

Silco is a grown adult who purposefully flooded the streets of the Undercity with a highly addictive drug, turned Powder into a soldier, and is generally a terrible person, even if he is a three dimensional amd well written antagonist.

Vi started the story as a teenager suffering poverty and discrimination just like Silco, had to deal with her own parents death, then her adoptive family was killed in front of her, and then she was forcefully taken from her sister. And yet, people are convinced Vi is a terrible and abusive sister who never loved Powder?

The only example worse than this, methinks, is Stella and Stolas from Helluva Boss.

Stella is a shitty mother who ignores her daughter, which the the audience is shown via a scene were Octavia is having a nightmare and she tells Stolas to deal with it. She frequently screams and swears at Stolas and throws things at him, with no regard for her daughter's presence or feelings.

This is pretty terrible, right? Of course! Everyone knows Stella is a horrible mother.

Stolas on the other hand, is praised for being such an loving and caring father, who tries his best. He even has a song with Octavia!

Well, he also: openly talks about having sex with Blitz and how much he likes it while she was right there, told her people want her money and her body, generally doesn't pay much attention to her either bc he's wallowing about Blitz not loving him back, and doesn't give her feelings much regard.

And yet, the misogyny extends beyond just Stella because people generally agree that Octavia is ungrateful and doesn't appreciate Stolas enough. They get mad at her for disliking the fact that Stolas is cheating on her mother with an imp who's been nothing but rude to her and ruining their family further, and even mock her for feeling unloved. Hell even Brandon, one of the creators, has allegedly recently called her a "cockblocking slut" which, frankly, is a disgusting thing to say about a 17 year old girl.

Idk man I'm just tired.

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foxylady13 · 5 months

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I think a lot of people continuously overlook the GOOD Nesta did during the series and only focus on her "hateful attitude". Sometimes actions show more than words and Nesta is an action girly.

ACOTAR- She tried to protect Feyre in the market. She went after Feyre when Tamlin took her. She essentially told Feyre to go and save Tamlin and not to worry about them. She was ready to marry someone to help have one less mouth to feed for Feyre. She chopped wood for two days in a row.

Also, I think this quote is important from book 1 from Feyre about Nesta:

"I looked at my sister, really looked at her, at this woman who couldn't stomach the sycophants who now surrounded her, who had never spent a day in the forest but had gone into wolf territory.... Who had shrouded the loss of our mother, then our downfall, in icy rage and bitterness, because the anger had been a lifeline, the cruelty a release. But she HAD cared - beneath it, she had cared, and perhaps, loved more fiercely than I could comprehend, more deeply and loyally."

ACOMAF - She wasn't in here much but both her and Elain opened their home to Feyre and the IC for the war purposes when they were taught their whole life to be scared/fear the fae and ended up turned against their will for their efforts which is incredibly traumatic.

ACOWAR - Nesta helped with the Queens and the High Lords. She helped Feyre and the whole Raven attack thingy. She participated in the war and almost died trying to save Cassian and then beheaded Hybern. She then helped tend to the wounded and dieing. She really had no time to sort through her own trauma during this time either since she was looking after comatose Elain and in a place where she didn't want to be.

ACOFAS - We see her drowning in her trauma. She can't even take baths (which Feyre had said in ACOWAR she'd help with as she never thought about how the Cauldron affected them). She is invited to party with rent money held over her head (despite the fact she had a job as human emissary during the war so where is the money promised to her from accepting that job from Rhysand?) While there, Feyre remarks how uncomfortable Nesta is but doesn't both to wonder why, and come to find out fire bothers her because it reminds her of her father's neck snapping RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Cassian runs after her and even though she wants to be alone she's hounded and is seen as the bad guy for not taking his gift. A gift he proceeds to throw away, like a child, into the water because she didn't take it...At this point she just wanted to be left alone and they kept hounding her and not respecting boundaries she was putting up.

ACOSF - She is still drowning..she is forced into the HOW (feyre said she'd be tied and thrown there essentially so it wasn't really a choice) where she has to walk down 10,000 steps (which she physically/mentally/emotionally could not do so she was essentially a prisoner since no help was offered by feyre and Amren own words and let's not forget those same steps were used as punishment for Rhysand and the bat boys)..she starts training though and finds her own found family in Gwyn and Emerie. She helps the IC multiple times with things in ACOSF to and even saves Rhysand, Feyre, and Nyx very lives. She even says sorry to Feyre and Feyre doesn't hold anything against Nesta, not even telling her about the babies wings because at least she told her. We also find out she tried to write letters to others to help during their poverty times and her boots weren't as new as Feyre made then out to be showing Feyre as an unreliable/biased narrator.

All in all, I wouldn't say Nesta is an absolutely terrible horrible nasty person that is beyond redemption or forgiveness.

She is a woman who has been traumatized from a very young age starting with her mother/grandmother to being turned fae to PTSD from war/her father and doesn't know how to cope so she lashes out (which is a VALID TRAUMATIC RESPONSE) to push others away because she HATES herself more than anyone else does. She knew lashing out was wrong but didn't have the tools/upbringing to know healthy responses. It's really not until Gwyn and Emerie came along and showed her UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that she began to change and learn better and new healthy coping mechanism to let go of the bad ones.

Now, I'm not saying her trauma response was good or acceptable or excusable, but I do think she deserves some grace and compassion given all she's been through herself. Trauma is not a comparison game after all and we all experience and cope differently. Just like these characters.

Artist is Crisol Crowling or crisolcrowling on IG!

#nesta stan #nesta #nesta archeron #nesta art #pro nesta #acotar series #Nesta isn’t as bad as people make her out to be #acosf #acowar #acomaf #acofas

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xjulixred45x · 7 months

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Satoru Gojo/Suguru Geto x Carrie White like-Reader

Genre: long Headcanons/Drabbles

Reader: female

Warnings: LONG POST, Reader has a Personalilty and background like Carrie White (of Stephen King) so, is very shy, quiet, kind but has traumas with BULLYING, ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD, ABUSIVE MOTHER, Religion themes, ,etc. Reader has telekinesis/mental Powers, Angst/comfort, Fluff. The mother of reader may or may not die horribly

Hope You enjoy! Specially @thecuriousquest and @trancylovecraft

Satoru Gojo

Regardless of whether he met you at Jujutsu Tech or when he graduated, he definitely noticed that something about you was unusual, not in a bad way, but that something was wrong... You were very withdrawn and shy, but being only a group of 4 students (if you met him at school), you would have to open up, but it was something very complicated to do. Gojo being Gojo tried to get you out of your shell by telling you funny things, welcoming you to the group along with Geto and Shoko, erc. When he noticed that you didn't even eat at school, he even offered you some of his own, which you denied until there was simply no point in going against him and you ate more. Satoru found you endearing in a way. But he definitely noticed more worrying things. for example, when you had your first period at school. god, the way you were SO SCARED and disturbed definitely left an impression on him, you didn't even know what period was! What kind of parents don't explain this to their daughter!? and it wasn't even the worst. You were scared that your mother (? You were crying so hard that he barely heard you) was going to punish you.... WHAT!?!

NOW, Satoru knew that you came from a non-sorcerer background, and yes, he can understand the fear of punishment for using your powers (which are fucking cool) without responsibility -- but a punishment for having your period? And on top of that you saw all this as a divine punishment for disobeying your mother... Gojo was definitely much more attentive to your family environment after that. something smelled VERY bad with your family. Sure, understand that most Non-Sorcerers don't believe in curses and maybe that would be your case, but this...wasn't looking good. Apart from the fact that he tried to cheer you up after that incident, whether it was helping you train, making comments that he knew would make you happy (he loves to see you smile, he wants you to do it more often), inviting you to the outings he had with Geto and Shoko , etc. Although he definitely got a little scared when you used your Ritual Technique, the way you went into a catatonic state and became an unstoppable force of destruction was a HUGE change from your normal self.

He was always able to calm you down when your technique was too much to handle. And besides, he was very useful, he made sure you knew that. and above all, that was REALLY a blessing. I think that when things get more serious he will directly ask you to go live in the academy dormitories or, of course, his house. He doesn't trust your mother in the slightest, and the feeling is mutual. He only met her ONCE and he absolutely despised her, but he tried to be "respectful" because despite everything, you love your mother. Although she did not return the favor. She was crazy, always talking to you like you were a plague. Let's say he was this 🤏close to doing something he would later regret (or not). It left him upset, tired, slightly homicidal and with an immediate desire to hug you for having to deal with this woman your entire life.

someone makes fun of you? Gojo will destroy them in seconds, either with a beating or simply leaving their pride in the ground. If we talk about more advanced terms of relationship (and in the current time), Gojo can't stand seeing you see yourself as someone "contaminated" (in any case for him, you are only contaminated with bad thoughts about yourself that he will gladly destroy)

Gojo loves to pamper you, regardless of whether it's with pampering or material gifts, although he likes the shy expressions you make when you receive either of the two much more, it just makes him want to give you a big hug because you're so adorable!

He likes the clothes you make for yourself, but he is definitely going to buy you QUALITY clothes that YOU WANT to wear, no matter how unconservative they are. Lots of nicknames, seriously, it seems like he always has a new one or a cheesy variation, especially if he sees that you're tired or had a bad day. He can always bring out his most joking side, yes, but knowing your context, he is more interested in letting you know that he loves you. I can see him taking you to the psychologist sincerely, he tells the higher ups that it is because of the connection of your mental state with your ritual technique, but he really doesn't want to have to see you as you were in your youth, mainly. (that and he'll probably send your mother to a mental institution or, with luck, jail. You don't have to worry about that, Gojo already took care of it) He is quite patient with your nervous breakdowns as a result of your upbringing and your skills, there are times when you accidentally break something and due to anguish your powers end up getting out of control, breaking more things. and you end up reduced to a mess of apologies and tears. It breaks his heart to see what THAT WITCH your mother put you through. He makes sure you didn't hurt yourself trying to fix it and assures you that he's fine, he has a lot of money, he didn't like those dishes to begin with, he can always buy another one, things like that so you understand that he doesn't care about that. In any case, he only cares about you, and your well-being.

He makes sure to take you to Dr. Shoko every time you have a mission where you used your powers, he's afraid you might have a brain hemorrhage if you push yourself too hard. He may even buy you candy to do the same thing he did at the beginning, stimulate his brain. If it accidentally makes you a sweet tooth, it will probably just make him buy more from you (again, you're too cute when you look all comfortable and happy). VERY PROTECTIVE, he knows very well what your triggers are, so he evades them as if it were the black plague. And God forbid the higher ups want to use you as a weapon, Gojo will give them the scare of their lives. only to then have a cuddle session with you when he get home. In general, very protective and loving towards you, he will not allow you to be hurt or harmed, and he will compensate for all the time without love that you have had to endure by giving you very high doses of care, patience and of course, love.

Suguru Geto

He probably meet you in Jujustu Tech.

Similarly to Gojo, he could tell that you probably didn't come from a good background, but he was more subtle about it and tried to approach you in small but sure steps. That's how he found out that you came from a family of Non-Sorcerers. okay, it makes sense now that you have so little knowledge of the world of Jujustu, he understands it well coming from a family like that himself. Although of course, he could notice very quickly that unlike him, you did not have a good relationship with your family, or rather, you were very afraid of them. It was quite noticeable in his eyes due to your nervous and quiet nature. If an incident like your period occurs, he is definitely the one who try to calm you down and console you the most, assuring you that no, it is not a divine punishment, it is something normal, and that no, he is not angry with you, everything is fine. He want to give your family the benefit of the doubt at first and think that since you come from an EXTREMELY religious home and you just had your period in your junior year (17-18 years old) your family probably didn't see the need to tell you. It's a strange excuse, especially when he sees the pure fear you had when they mentioned the possibility of calling your mother. He prefers you to say it yourself, but Geto definitely thinks (knows) that you come from a bad background. so he try to make you stay on Jujustu tech as much as possible. He tries to help you adapt to both Jujustu's world and his companions, whether it's bridging conversations, helping you with homework, just as Gojo can ask you out as a group, etc.

Did you see that Carrie in some adaptations floats with her powers? imagine doing that with Geto! either make your classmates float with your powers or float yourself, flying near the school with Suguru nearby with one of his curses in case you fall. He is much more comfortable with that carefree and calm expression on your face instead of the constant nerves. and he is quite shocked when he sees you using your powers in fights, the brutality, the anger behind all that power, surprised him, but more like a fascination than anything else. You are blessed with your powers, he can see it, but unfortunately Non-Sorcerers don't see it that way. ESPECIALLY your mother.

At first, Suguru is subtle with his dislike for your mother, again, try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if he gets to know her sincerely it will only make him go from dislike to TOTAL DISGUST for the woman. If he sees how she treats you, GOD HELP HER, he's going to scare her to death with his curses and tell her directly NOT to lay a hand on you. and then they'll probably go eat something with you (he might even go visit his parents, out of nowhere he feels kind of grateful that AT LEAST they're not like your mom)

You are linked more by your similar (but very different) origins. a lot of compliments, and he always ALWAYS manages to make you smile (he tried to make a double meaning joke ONCE and it took you an hour to understand it on your own, you turned out like an adorable tomato! so now he says from time to time one to see Your reacction). Also be very careful that you do not use your powers excessively, no matter how fascinating they are, know that there can be SERIOUS consequences if you do not limit their use. If we talk about the most current times (when Geto becomes corrupted) chances are that you have also finally reached your breaking point (like the dance scene in the movie, only change you don't die!) (BRO, IMAGINE IF YOUR MOTHER WAS PART OF THE TENGEN CULT AND THEY WERE THE ONE'S WHO YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE YEARS OF ABUSE, IT WOULD BE EPIC bonus Geto just fell in love for the second time)

Speaking of more advanced terms of relationship, Geto is very determined that the ideas your mother put in your head disappear completely, but precisely by putting you in a position of power (the power you never had before). He wants to help you by giving you a sense of control and security. Mimiko and Nanako adore you, you and they have SO much in common that it's normal for them to see you in a similar light to Geto (it would be an absolute BONUS if you were on the mission where Geto saved them, again, super epic). Did you see that Carrie in the movies can even read minds? You and Geto will probably use this to your advantage to select Monkeys with a lot of money (and if you discover that they are lying, Geto will kill them right away, while he has you on his lap cuddling you :3). Similarly to Gojo, you are very spoiled, although with some differences.

Compliments are still Suguru's main love language, but he's also a very physical person, wanting to keep you around almost all the time (except maybe when he kills monkeys, knowing that you still feel kind of bad about it) so there's also a lot of PDA between you, hugs, kisses, cuddles, headpats, etc. Geto really can't get enough.

Someone makes fun of You? Well, not anymore:)

He becomes especially cuddly when you're tired from using your powers and you cling to him, you're too cute. If you still have some kind of nervous breakdown because of your upbringing, Geto and the twins will most likely do a ✨cuddle pudle✨ while they calm you down.

If you somehow don't kill your mother, worry not, Geto will do it for You:) He is also willing to get rid of anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable (if that person is a Non-Sorcerer it is a plus). going👏shopping👏 especially with Mimiko and Nanako, it's like an almost "normal" family activity. Speaking of, the family respects you a lot (you can bet that some of them even have a certain crush on you, but they don't say it out of respect for Geto). Similarly to Gojo, he really likes to buy you things that he thinks you might like or would like to see you wear, traditional and fine clothing, sweet food, if you have a favorite hobby you probably have special materials, etc.

mortally protective, although he includes you in his plans, at the first sign that something is wrong he will go straight to protect you (or kill whatever endangers you). and he has a lot of experience with your situation, so he is the king of comfort. GOD FORGET THE SORCERERS TO COME FOR YOU, he may be making exceptions to his rule-- Overall, he loves you more than anything, he will make sure to take good care of you and give you all the love, appreciation and luxury that you deserve.

Shares, reblogs, and comments are very welcome!

Soon i will make a Platonic versión!! Love ya❤️

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ofbreathandflame · 11 months

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will delete later but imma gonna rant bc i can and yall be sending me these things knowing im gonna snap but HEY i guess ill take over hate.💀

you know, when we said that cassian was abusive in acosf, and that his behavior was not only unromantic, but very much parallel to the way tamlin treated feyre in maf -- we were met with contention. it was ‘cassian is the best bat boy!” “how can you hate cassian” and “you guys always find problems”

but if when the conversation becomes something like nessian >>> feysand or cassian >>> rhysand then suddenly all of the red flags that cassian showed in sf and even in acowar become apparent. then you guys can point out the problems in the hike, how cassian treated nesta horribly, wasn’t attentive. how cassian sexualized her body, and used her body, how he wouldn’t even give nesta sugar even though she was literally suffering through something adjacent to an eating disorder, where she wasn’t eating or practicing self-hygiene. now you see how he doesn’t tell nesta that she is loved, how he calls her out of her name, how he repeatedly disrespects her boundaries.

it is abuse. say it with me: a b u s e.

it was easy for y’all to blame the 25 y/o and not the 530+ y/o who personally saw himself in charge of her mental health journey, against her wishes, locked in her in the house with him, and then made sexual comments about her while continually isolating every part of her life, and having her do things on behalf of the court and the library with no money.

and then y’all argued that more responsibility should be placed on nesta and not the immortal man who literally put himself in charge of every aspect of her life. that nesta somehow deserved that bc she was difficult. that argument is deranged. i don’t give a shit how ‘difficult’ nesta was,’ she is still the victim. that you guys believe other wise belies a fundamental understanding of abuse and domestic violence

and it wasn’t like writing a 2000+ words of textual evidence, scene by scene parallels was enough -- nah. all we have to do is realign the conversation a character v. character debate and suddenly it becomes very clear.

and as i said, i always fucking knew y’all saw the problems, even when y’all called them ridiculous. but if the conversation was removed of y’all hate for nesta and recontextualized as a feysand v. nessian argument all of a sudden you guys can see the abuse. its absolutely disgusting.

and even then, the acknowledgement of these issues is only because you want to laugh at nesta for being in that abusive predicament. because of course these issues only matters when your trying to prove a tit-for-tat point about what batboy is better. cassian was abusive. the hike was one of the most disgusting act of abuse in that book.

and this matters bc literally we watched a man -- a famous actor -- sue the woman who he abused, and then have the whole world argue that she deserved the abuse because she was a difficult woman. we saw her sa be mocked, her trauma dubbed ‘not realistic enough bc thats not how real victims act, we saw people fandomize a grown real life man (a HASBEEN) and it has now set a trend where abusers are suing their victims arguing the SAME argument, it matters. we watched as RAPE threats were suddenly ‘okay’ bc the victim was ‘difficult’ that the 20 something y/o somehow how more power and money than the the man twice her age, with triple the funds.

y’all are absolutely disgusting and i will NEVER take any of u anti nesta people seriously like y’all are nasty people.

y’all tried.

#anti cassian #not a safe place for him and his ppl #anti acosf #anti sjm: nesta archeron #anti sjm: pro nesta

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elliespeach · 1 year

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the air that i breathe part two | ellie williams

pairing: ellie williams x afab reader wordcount: 4k synopsis: a camping trip you and ellie embark on takes a devastating turn. with you in the hands of raiders ellie's sanity is brought to her breaking point and she will stop at nothing to get you back. warnings: 18+ ellie n readers headspace is very dark!! depression, panic attacks, horrible desperation, and lots of trauma responses that are vividly described. graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, reader is confined in a cell by chains, food/water deprivation, hallucinations, there is animal death in this part, ellie is basically santa barabra ellie but multiply it by thirty n reader is like trapped in the dark so i think that counts as claustrophobia. this fic can b very triggering so pls take the tags seriously!! there is little to no fluff in this part my bad author note: hiiii im sorry this took me so long to get out and its not even as long or as good as i want it to beeee. i have been struggling with motivation and this is as much as i could bring myself to do! so sorry for another cliff hanger,, it wasn't suppose to be like that but i am lazzyyy and depressed i hope this worthy

readers pov – present

“ellie, wake up–” you begged, pulling your chain as far as you could go. you were nearly dislocating your leg to try to be near her, but the chain only allowed you to go so far and ellie was on the other side of the room. it was dark again, after knocking her out the man had heaved ellie to the far side of the basement, and propped her limp body against the wall. you pleaded with him but he didn’t utter a word and promptly flipped off the lights and harshly slammed the door. spewing curses and mumbles under his breath that you dared not decipher.

your heart ached, as if it wasn’t already. she was here, she was saving you and now it was like all hope had been ripped away. you wanted to cry, scream and shout but your energy was depleted. the man had also taken her backpack that had been laying by the door, leaving you utterly helpless yet again. you had grown accustomed to the dark in your time held prisoner, time still didn’t make any sense to you. but you knew it had only been a few minutes since he slammed the door, but the silence was taken over by the clicking of the lock and you swiftly backed up to the wall again.

the door opened and the lights flicked on, through your stinging eyes you could see it was a woman. she didn’t acknowledge you at all and just walked over to ellie and it was then you saw she had a similar but smaller chain. “we can give you anything, just let us go home,” you whispered while the woman knelt down and began to wrap up ellie’s leg with the chain. she shook her head, not answering. “please, we can trade with you. we can forget all of thi–” you were cut off by the sound of an explosion from outside and the woman snapped her head towards the open metal door. she said something under her breath before sloppily attaching the restraint to the hook in the wall.

she tugged on it, making sure it was in place. meanwhile gunfire erupted from the streets, the sound making it’s way all the way down into the basement and the woman looked panicked while she made her way towards the door, not even glancing at you once. as if she couldn’t bear it. “don’t do this! don’t leave us here!” the strain in your voice was prominent, the desperation even more so and she stopped in the doorframe, her back to you but you knew she was contemplating something. a glimmer of hope sparked in your chest, the woman didn’t turn around but she swiveled her head to the side not looking at you fully but just enough for you to know you had somewhat gotten through. the gunfire was louder than ever, distant screams could be heard as well and you worried that if they all died you two would rot down here forever.

a mumbled, “i’m sorry,” came from the woman, you barely heard it with everything going on above ground. her fingers hovered over the light switch for a quick second, she finally took a good look at you and quickly reverted her eyes to the floor. the woman took her hand back, leaving the light on before shutting the door behind her. another explosion from the streets made the floor rattle beneath you, dust falling from the now cracked ceiling above you. but you were focused on ellie and again you brought yourself to the middle of the room to be closer to her. you could see her hands twitching slightly and you inhaled a sharp breath, “ellie!” you screamed over the muffled shooting, looking back up to the cracked ceiling. her eyes shot open in a panic hearing the world around her and she looked confused as she gazed upon you before her eyes fell to her ankle, wrapped in a chain.

a loud crashing sound came from above, it wasn’t an explosion but it was definitely something big and you both flinched as it rumbled the room. using her very little energy to leap towards you, she came up short, her restraint stopping her just a few feet from you but it felt like miles. ellie cursed, turning to look at the metal around her ankle before looking back at you, the fear was present in her eyes which troubled you. ellie wasn’t one to fear most things, but in this moment she was terrified. not for herself, but for you. “your chain, ellie–” you spoke, pointing to the wall behind her. there was no time for anything else and ellie immediately turned her head to examine it.

it was very obviously loose, a few good tugs and it would be out of the wall unlike yours which was bolted in. the woman who had done it being distracted by the events outside, or the guilt. either way, it worked in your favor as ellie began to aggressively try to pull it out of the cement wall. “come on!” she grunted, using all her strength. another explosion above made the room shake and she looked back at you for a quick second, making sure you were okay. returning her focus to the wall she wrapped the chain around her wrist and leaned back. the bolt came flying out of the wall, dust crumbling to the ground below it.

she swiftly came over to you, cupping your face again, “are you okay? can you stand?” she rushed out, practically yelling over the gunfire that felt like it was getting louder as the time went on. she gently helped you up, propping you against the wall. “get your strength, we’re leaving–” her hands left your body and she picked up the chain that was laying pathetically on the ground. the end of the bolt was thick and heavy and ellie didn’t think twice before slamming it against the lock on the metal door.

you took deep breaths, trying to place weight on your foot with the metal around it. it stung but you pushed through it as the metal clanging against the lock got more aggressive. you winced but finally put most of your body weight on it, standing up straight only using the wall for minimal support. the pain in your legs was something unlike you had ever felt and for the first time you looked down at them. long and thin slices along your thighs and calf that burned with every move you made. you could barely remember it happening but quick flashes of the man with the scar came to your mind, his sinister laugh as he would drag the blade along your skin. you shut your eyes tight trying to dismiss it, only to open them back up when you heard the lock on the door tumble to the ground.

“hang on,” ellie called back to you as she flung the door open. now that the door was open, the shooting and the screaming above ground was much louder. you could almost make out the words that were being yelled but you focused on other things, like the pain in your ankle as you put more weight on it. ellie vanished from sight into the exposed basement and your heart fluttered just a bit with her absence, terrified of anything to happen to her and you really would be stuck here. but she returned, a pair of bolt cutters in her hand. she didn’t bother with the metal still around her, instead immediately coming over to you and snapping them off within seconds. she removed the chain around your ankle, being careful not to hurt you but no matter how gentle she was it still seared in pain and whimpers left your mouth. “i know, i know,” she cooed to you as the air hit your raw skin after days of being encased.

she snipped off her own while you held on to the wall. it wasn’t long before she had her arm wrapped around your shoulder, helping you walk out of the room. it was slow and painful as she guided you up the stairs, the door to the basement was shut and ellie leaned you against the wall again before she pounded at it with her shoulder. it had been locked but it was a hollow door and nothing was stopping her now. three thrusts of her shoulder and the door burst open. “lets hope they are too busy with the raiders to even notice us–” she said, picking you off the wall and bringing you back above ground.

even in the hallway of the house, the sun was burning into your eyes. the sudden brightness being almost paralyzing and your hands went up to cover them as you trudged on. ellie sat you down on the dusty couch and you took this moment to really recharge as much as you could. you didn’t dare look down at your legs, fearing seeing them again would bring back the man with the scar so you focused on ellie. she crouched down by an open window, observing the streets before her. the fighting was deafening now, guns non stop firing their bullets and the sound of trucks screeching through the streets. ellie’s view was horrendous, dead bodies scattered the street in front of the house. blood pooling everywhere and going down into the drains as if it were water. the people who had managed to stay alive this long were running for cover anywhere they could, yelling for back up as more of their people went down.

she could see a burning building just up the road, flames as high as she could see and the smoke was clouding the surrounding houses. more people running, more screaming, more gunfire. it was overwhelming for you after days of isolation and you buried your hands in your face. an explosion sent ellie to the floor, it sounded like it was just a few houses down and as she ducked she caught a glimpse of you on the couch. her eyes soften and she crawls to you to stay low, her hands come up to your arms covering your face. “hey, look at me,” she cooed, but you weren’t there, at least mentally. suddenly you missed the isolation and even craved it again, but you knew that was stupid. ellie called your name as softly as she could over the loudness that was your surroundings and you finally met her gaze. her hands wrapping around your bruised wrists. “we’re going home, okay? i promise.”

all you could do was nod at her, her voice as comforting as it usually was was doing very little for you in this moment. but she sounded confident, and thats all you needed. she helped you up slowly again, you winced as you put weight on your bad foot and ellie’s grip around you tightend and she led you to the door of the house, “won’t they see us?” you asked out of breath as she opened the door. the fresh air hitting you in the face despite the stench of dead bodies filling the air, it relieved you.

“they’re busy–” she started, helping you down the small steps to the sidewalk. your feet scraped on the wet bloody cement and ellie was already struggling to keep you up, her focus shifting from you to the people fighting for their lives. there was a small group of people to her right across the street, hiding behind the parked car in the driveway. she made eye contact with one of them before hurrying you along, scared that they would somehow recognize one of you. she thinks back to the man she killed alongside the house before she found you, how he didn’t even know you were locked away. to put herself at ease, she assumed everyone didn’t know besides a select few important people in the community, and if there was this bad of a fight going on she knew they would be stowed away for protection.

ellie was dragging you as fast as she could, the gunfire was blowing her eardrums out, the horrific yelling of people bleeding out all around you two would haunt her for years to come but she kept moving. looking at you every so often to give her the motivation she needed. someone ran in front of the two of you, looking to find cover in the house beside you but fell as quickly to the ground and blood pooled out of them onto the road, their eyes staring blankly up into the sky. ellie looked in the direction of where the bullet would have come from, making sure to keep walking as she did but seeing no one so she quickly brought her attention back to you, helping you step over the body.

the sounds of horses hooves could be heard over the gunfire, neighing as loudly as they could before being cut off entirely, the gashing sound of flesh filling your ears and your head turned back to where you had just come from. horses laid on the ground, peoples bodies trapped underneath gasping for air before more raiders came to finish the job. ellie was pulling at you, as you had slowed down to take a look, before you turned your head back you caught a glimpse of one of the horses who laid motionless, and despite all the blood you could see a freshly burned J on it’s leg. “ellie–” you said, not taking your eyes off the sight even though your neck was straining itself. your vision focused onto one of the last surviving men trapped underneath the limp horses and your heart leaped. you recognized him, a quiet but friendly regular at the pub in jackson. he always smiled at you, making polite small talk while waiting for his food. you remembered his smile but now as you looked at him it was hard to imagine, his one free hand that wasn’t being crushed under the weight of the horse going up to defend himself. but the raider showed no mercy and immediately fired a shot into his head and ran back down the street in the opposite direction.

your mouth opened, a gasp coming out but ellie didn’t turn around to see it, her focus was on getting you out. “ellie, its jackson–” you uttered, your head turning back to face front. your eyes were permanently widened and you just stared at the ground as she kept pulling you along the sidewalk. “it’s not raiders.” you finished and ellie took a glance around, seeing more and more people scramble out into the streets. she witnessed a woman fall onto her back after running from behind a small house, she tried desperately to get back up, her hands sinking into the grass for balance, barely pulling herself back off the ground before another familiar face came into view, shooting her straight through the back and her face fell into the grass, lifeless. it was eugene, he started to reload his gun before his eyes met ellie’s, and she quickly redirected her stride towards him.

“thank god,” she mindlessly uttered beside you as her feet brought both of you towards him. she quickly realized how scary the situation you two were in if it was just raiders. how unlikely it would have been to get out of her unscathed, but seeing eugene lit a fire inside of her.

he called your names as you got closer, meeting you both about halfway there. his eyes scanned over you, taking notice of how badly you’ve been hurt and he handed ellie a small pistol. “you guys okay?” he asked loudly, his eyes darting between the two of you and your surroundings. eugene obviously knew you weren’t okay but with all that’s going on, what else could he possibly say? he walked back slowly in between the houses and ellie helped get you there before carefully sitting you down on the grass to rest. your chest was heaving, your ankle burning like never before and all you wanted to do was sleep. ellie and eugene had crouched down, staying as close to the wall as they could get.

“we’ve been holding them back but we didn’t expect this much resistance–” eugene was rambling. the red staining his clothes was almost identical to ellie’s and he wiped his face to remove the sweat that had built up. “you weren’t supposed to come alone.” he said sternly, looking directly into ellie’s eyes and she brushed him off.

“joel? tommy?” she asked in a hurry, reloading the pistol in her hands that had been emptied.

eugene watched as raiders ran down the road, passing the two houses you were hiding between without a second glance. he let out a breath of relief, “they’re here somewhere looking for you,” his eyes focused back on ellie and she kept the pistol firm in her hand, sneaking a look at you and feeling her chest tighten as she watched you struggle to catch your breath. her gaze lingered on you while she responded to eugene.

“we have to keep moving, they wo–” ellie was cut off, a booming gunshot echoing in her ears and her head snapped to find eugene face down on the ground, a bullet going straight through his skull. instantly, ellie was up on her sore feet, her pistol pointed at the woman who stood behind eugene. the woman's gun pointed directly at you instead of ellie.

“this is because of you–” the woman spoke with tears in her eyes, she was small, bony even. like she hadn’t had a proper meal in days. she didn’t look very threatening but ellie wasn’t taking any chances and kept her aim firm on the woman's head. she was speaking directly to you, ignoring ellie’s gun. “you brought them here!” her words were getting caught in her throat as she spoke, there was blood on her shirt and all over her hands. ellie wondered who else from jackson she had probably killed while you thought about who she might have lost today. either way, you both knew ellie wasn’t letting her walk away.

“you people did this to yourself,” ellie’s voice was flat and stern, clicking her gun and aiming for her forehead. but the woman didn’t flinch, keeping her gun trained on you along with her gaze.

“we just needed food, we were starving!” she thrusted her gun forward as a threat. ellie didn’t stagger, keeping her finger right above the trigger.

“we could have traded, it didn’t have to be like this.” you spoke up from the ground, staring into the barrel of her gun. ellie slowly moved her feet to be in front of you and the woman’s eyes widened and the gun in her hands left you and pointed directly in the middle of ellie’s chest.

“stop moving!” she shouted very obviously not in her right mind, tears streaming down her face but it’s like she didn’t even notice. her gun was trembling in her hands, compared to ellie who was as still as ever in front of you. a loud crash took the woman's attention away for a split second. ellie used the distraction in her favor and you expected her to fire her gun, but she had other plans. she dropped the gun to her side, pulling her switchblade out as quickly as she could and lunged at the woman in front of her. she tackled her to the ground, straddling over her and jammed the blade straight into her bony chest with a grunt.

the woman cried out and thrashed her hands around ellie’s face trying to claw her way to freedom but it was too late, her blood came spilling out of her in a frenzy and it was mere seconds before her arms fell to the ground with a thud. ellie picked herself up off the woman, wiping the blood from her blade on her jeans. her eyes met yours and nothing was said about it, or about eugene laying on the ground beside you. instead, ellie helped you up from the ground knowing you had to get moving now. you didn’t protest, but you were shocked by her actions despite them being necessary and now you wondered about how she had found you, how she was and still is covered in other peoples blood head to toe. your girlfriend was capable of a lot more than you had realized.

the two of you stayed behind the houses instead of walking the streets, feeling a little safer with the shield the houses provided. passing by each house, wailing could be heard behind some of the walls, barely noticeable with the shooting still being so prevalent on the street. ellie made a turn between houses and led you up that way, remembering this was close to the entrance to the town and she figured the people who came from jackson would be stationed there to block their exit.

and she was right, coming out from behind the house you both could see the men on horses in the distance. ellie kept you both covered by the house, waiting for the perfect moment to make a run for it. she feared you two had gotten this far only to be shot so close to getting home. you scanned the faces at the entrance and someone you didn’t know all too well made eye contact with you. he quickly reverted his eyes to someone beside him and they both looked in your direction, they muttered words amongst themselves. there were probably about twelve of them all guarding the entrance, and ellie was desperate to find joel’s face amongst them but she couldn’t make out their faces from so far away.

and before you could regain any strength to keep going, they threw a small canister into the middle of the road. it landed just a few yards from the two of you and erupted in a puff of smoke and heard a muffled, “GO!” from the gate ahead of you. ellie wasted no time, basically dragging you down the foggy street as you were tripping to keep up. you couldn’t see and you were choking on the fog but you knew you were close, the sound of horses becoming louder and louder with every step.

there was a break in the fog as you reached the outside of its cloud and you could see them just ahead, their guns were trained behind the two of you just in case raiders came through the smoke. you finally felt safe, finally feeling truly relieved. the gate was about three yards away and ellie was looking harshly for joel or even tommy in the small group but she couldn’t find them.

thats when the bomb went off, sending you backwards and landing on the ground with such force you couldn’t move. ellie fell just a few feet from you, her ears ringing with fury. the air was knocked out of her and she rolled over, gasping for any air to enter her lungs. her eyes fixed back to the gate, hoping to see the men coming to aid them but the gate itself was blown to bits. pieces of body parts falling out of the sky and onto the cement, her vision was blurry but she could see red. a lot of red it felt almost fake. she tried to push herself up with her arms to get a better look, failing and falling back down to the ground with a shaky groan. she blinked her eyes, hoping to be able to see normal again and she could make out the redness was the group of men, mangled and blown to bits along with their horses. she couldn’t process it and her head was turning to find you, her eyes getting heavier with every blink and she fought to keep them open.

your eyes were already focused on her, but you didn’t try to move in fear of not being able to if you tried. both of your minds were fried, cloudy messes of shock. being so weak and now mind’s jumbled, you or ellie didn’t fight back when cold hands lifted you from the ground and placed you gently into an armored truck.

——

tag list: @ohcoolcoolcool @l0v31t @frogtits1 @gold-dustwomxn

#ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fic #ellie williams angst #hurt no comfort #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fanfiction

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pillarsalt · 4 months

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hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

#ask

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alexiaugustin · 1 year

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season two of shadow and bone should have shown absolutely every last fucking person that this show is a soulless piece of trash adaptation that doesn’t understand nor gives two fucks about the source material they're allegedly trying to adapt and that the people behind this show were all lying to your faces when they apologized for the things that upset people for 24 hours before season one streamed two years ago, because after all this show still erases the trauma of a woman’s sexual abuse story and they are still sexualizing bisexual people and they are still fucking everything about these characters and their dynamics up.

season one should have upset most people enough to stop stanning this show but during the last two years we have learned that there’s A Lot that the tv industry can do that people won’t care about. an ableist, colorist and fatphobic and age inaccurate casting that hurts people by taking their representation away is something people won’t care about. complex characters being reduced to an inch of what they actually are like so they and their relationship can neatly fit into archetypes, tropes and ao3 tags is something people won’t care about. showrunners getting exposed for having their white stunt doubles do brownface is something people won’t care about. a show having a dumb script that makes everyone on the show look like a fucking loser is something people won’t care about.

and now season two is out and they did everything they already did in season one wrong but it’s somehow still so much worse. after watching season one i felt like the deeply offensive and wrong things about this show were still explainable, season two actually has me at loss for words because of how bad it is. because of how there’s not a single thing they did right about the soc books; not the characters, not their relationships, not their storyline, nor the world they live in. i could give a few examples like the fact that kaz told inej that feeling as if she’s not really free from the menagerie where she was sex trafficked as a child "isn’t her fight anymore, it’s his“ just because pekka rollins owns her now. or the fact that wylan and jesper met via a one night stand and were fucking by episode four even tho they don’t even kiss before the end of ck. or that they turned pekka rollins into a super villain who wants to kill kaz even though the whole point of his role in the books is that he has no idea why kaz has it out for him and he doesn’t care abt these teenagers.

i could explain all these and so many more examples in depth, and still it wouldn’t be enough to capture the the true scope of how bad and truly horrible this show is. and yet. and yet when i log into tumblr dot com or twitter dot com i see gifsets of this show, of the relationships they don’t understand, of the characters they butchered and i'm seeing people rooting for another season of this nonsense. at this point this show feels like a social experiment that’s trying to see how far people will go to defend a deeply offensive and atrociously bad piece of media. and during the last 48 hours i've come to realize that some of y'all will never be able to be pushed too far. some of y’all had their brains rotted away a long time ago when tiktok and ao3 made you believe that media is nothing more than the consumption of aesthetics, tropes and archetypes and that it’s a good thing if these are responsible for the death of art. if you claim to love the book and the show at the same time you are lying to yourself because that is simply impossible. you have, in short, truly lost the fucking plot.

#anti shadow and bone #im going to put this post in all the tags idgaf stupid ppl Pisa me off so bad #shadow and bone #six of crows #wesper #kanej #helnik #kaz Brekker #wylan can eck #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #sab

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a-smol-cosplayer · 1 year

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Anyways here are some more of my wednesday opinions cause I need them out of my brain (spoilers obvi)

First? Why is everyone hating on the show?? Between the ‘both men where so bland I couldn’t tell them apart fuck love triangles’ and ‘this isn’t an Adams reboot this sucks they made this show horrible and so out of character’ y’all need to take some breaths.

I found it super compelling and enjoyable!! I loved seeing wednesday grow from someone how hated people and emotions to someone who still hates emotions but has them and has a good relationship with both her new friends and family!

To address the comments above:

Okay maybe Xavier is slightly bland - angsty art kid however his use in the plot and the fact that we are seeing him from Wednesdays pov who obviously doesn’t like him that much and is only using him for her own gain really saves him for me and leaves him open for more development. Talking about the love triangle - I struggle to see one. Its mostly Tyler x wednesday and xaviers crush is one sided, there is no point in the show where she laments over which boy she wants or the fact that she likes both of them - I think we have mixed up what an actual cliche love triangle is in media and ‘these two attractive boys are both in love with the main character’. There might have been more rivalry between them but wednesday certainly wasn’t aware of it

Tyler deserves his own dot point to address the comment above cause HOW CAN U SAY THAT MAN IS BLAND. especially after the last episode. It switches the view on his whole supposedly ‘bland’ point of view and forces u to think about wether thats the real thing and the person in the last ep was an amalgamation of manipulation and grooming as well as deep seeded trauma or if he was playing us the whole time with this awkward clueless personality as he manipulated everyone around him which is such a cool way of looking at it. If u don’t believe me go rewatch the series as if Tyler is aware of everything and is willingly manipulating everyone - cures the ‘he’s boring to watch’ thing instantly.

Okay getting to the second point - I completely see where u are coming from but like its called WEDNESDAY. Its about this version of wednesday not the whole family, they don’t even appear in it very much. when I seperated it from the previous versions of the Adams family it was super good (however I do get where y’all are coming from about the whole ‘crazy morbid loving family’ dynamic being destroyed but I liked the journey that wednesday and mortica went on and I think it added to her character so I am willingly ignoring it

Okay now for the part where I rant about Tyler Gilpin cause I love that man with my whole heart and I am a Tyler apologist first and a human being second

MANS WAS MANIPULATED and has some super bad trauma. From the point where his mum died and his dad practically abandoned him and thennn the first person he thought he could trust to look after him and tell him the truth proceeded to turn around and groom and manipulate and USE HIM for her own gain and chained up a literal child whilst forcing him to change into a monster :/ people keep forgetting that he is literally at most 17/18 but probably 16/17 and has been left by every single adult in his child life. Cut my man some slack.

second: he really did want to leave!! He had no control over his actions as the hyde - he literally says in the first episode how ‘at least one of them would be able to get out of this hellhole town.’ He was a manipulated child!! Sure he might have been slightly dark in his own right but he wasn’t going around murdering people for funzies and he probably only started to enjoy it as a trauma response :/ like what else was he supposed to do?? Go insane cause there was this woman who was forcing him to kill people. He couldn’t control himself as the hyde (u know in the last ep where he said ‘I wake up covered in blood and have no memory of what happened’ ect ect) so everyone saying he’s a murderer who doesn’t deserve wednesday (also wouldn’t a pscyo murderer be like the perfect fir for wednesday? that scene where he admits to hurting Xavier and then trying to get better and wednesday saying she would have done something worse for the fun of it?? Bruh they are so perfect together and have so much chemistry but ill put that in another rant) anyways. Y’all are acting like he just went around murdering people for the fun of it completely aware are endorsing his actions (did we even watch the same show?) when the main point of Wednesday figuring out the master was a hyde was that there was actually another person controlling the monster in the woods and it wasn’t acting alone

Also - I see lots of people being like “yeah but he basically assaulted Xavier y’all are ignoring it he’s a bad person 🙄💅” but like?? So was Lucas? 1 he was in the ‘friends’ who distroyed Xaviers painting as well, and he bullied Eugene and tried to fight/hurt wednesday just for being an outcast and used enid to get into the dance and ruined it for everyone and u don’t see people bashing him? People can change and realise that the stuff they used to do as a tween was bad and full of bias inherited from their parents/society :/

Anyways to sum up that rant - I love my slightly murderous and traumatised but yet awkward and soft hearted barista with my whole life and if he doesn’t get a redemption arch enemies to lovers, joining the gang (enid, Ajax, wednesday, Bianca, Xavier, Eugene and thing obvi), learning how to control the monster inside storyline next season I’m going to riot.

Also antihero is totally Tylers song and I love it

Imma be honest I didn’t dislike any of the characters - I think they are either already well fleshed out and interesting or have the potential to be and I loved the way the three seperate plot lines managed to organically weave and thread together into one whole point just viewed from different angles a lot. I absolutely love enid with my whole heart (I’m not stepping on wenclair at all I love the idea but I just really like the sunshinexgrumpy bestie vibes they have going on and I love Ajax to much to cut him out he’s so supportive and lovely) and she was such a good character with her own plot lines and the way she and thing interacted has my whole heart. Also the way that she got more understanding and wednesday got better at social cues and how to be friends/show emotions was really well done.

Also low key if u apply my fav way to solve this said ‘love triangle’ which is they all just date each other meaning we get both tylorpe anddd these boys who love wednesday with their entire beings and supportive ajax and enid 👀👀👀👀 (yes Wednesday needs too grovel a little with Xavier she did not treat him well at all and Xavier maybe should get more interests than brooding and painting but we can work on it) ((I also approve of the fact that wednesday has two hands one for each Tyler and enid and ajax can share))

Im also seeing a lot of Tyler/Xavier hate but like,, can y’all not see wednesday isn’t the perfect character either? Like she’s a super morally reprehensible character and treats people hella bad some times. she literally put the only two people who she had managed to get attached too/have a connection too (Tyler and enid ((excluding Eugene love him too))) in danger for her own gain. I know thats the whole point of the show and I love her in that regard, it makes her character really interesting but like— she’s not absolutely perfect and these ‘mean bland boys don’t deserve her’ comments really aren’t helping her character development

Okay thats it :)

PLS BE NICE TO ME!! EVERY SINGLE POST IS SEE HAS PEOPLE UNDERNEATH IT GOING (ur opinions are wrong and ur a terrible person for shipping/not shipping this thing) (bc wenclair/wednesdayxxavier didn’t get together it was such a terrible show) (love triangles suck and if u like them u are a woman hating nazi) LIKE CAN YALL CALM DOWN ITS LITERALLY A SHOW CHILL OUT

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aloneinthehellfire · 2 years

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Chapter 5: Part 2: Don't Go Wandering In The Forest

Raining Hellfire Series | Season One

Word Count: 4,060 words.

Warnings: swearing, flashbacks to past trauma, , mentions of blood, animal death, horror elements in this so please be cautious when reading this (near the end)

[A/N: Part 2 since this chapter was sooo long. it's my fault for wanting reader to interact with the kids and the teens but I hope you like this chapter. spot the teen wolf reference lmao]

Part 2: Don't Go Wandering In The Forest

“Here.”

You handed Nancy the bat you had found by your front door.

You were sure you had another but it was buried under your porch somewhere from when your uncle had been drunkenly swinging it around the front yard and somehow spun it straight under the house. It was going to take a hot minute for you to fish it out.

“Thank you.” She smiled, “Hey. I… I get it. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bit distant with you, I just- I really need to find Barb.”

“I know.” You placed a hand on her shoulder. “And we will. I promise.”

She suddenly pulled you into a hug, dropping the bat on the ground and you held on like your life depended on it. You had to admit, you missed having a best friend.

“Okay! Okay.” You giggled, pulling away, “I now need to go digging through the black hole that is my uncle’s porch.”

“Have fun.” She sang sarcastically and she picked up the bat, trying to find the right grip to swing it with.

You shook your head with a smile and walked back over to your uncle’s. Staring at the raised flooring, you got down on your hands and knees. It was a little muddier than you imagined and you cursed under your breath.

You were wearing a thick pair of jeans you had pulled from your aunt’s closet (you seriously needed to expand your own) and a grey jean jacket that’s design had faded away from time. You just had on a yellow long-sleeved tee beneath it to keep the cold out. It was too big on you but the jacket hid its size. You didn’t remember owning a yellow top but you had found it buried under your bed so it was good enough.

And, since it was cold out, you wrapped your neck in a thin scarf. Just to be safe.

You winced slightly as your knees met the muddy floor but you figured you’d just wash them later. You then slid under the porch, reaching your arm out and patting around, exploring the space until you came across a wooden shape. Bingo.

“I swear to god, if a spider jumps out at me…” You muttered as you grabbed onto the bat and pulled it towards you.

“That would be funny.”

The unexpected voice caused you to jump, banging your head on a beam above you in shock.

“Shit!” You whispered.

“Shit. Sorry, here.” They put an arm around you and helped you up, making sure you didn’t bang your head again.

“Thanks.” You said, brushing the dirt off you. You looked up and rolled your eyes as an involuntary response. “Harrington.”

“Good to see you too.” He smirked.

“Surprised you even had time to go outside with all that effort you’ve put into your hair today.” You smiled sarcastically as he sighed.

“Where’s Nance?” He placed his hands on his hips.

“Hm, I don’t know!” You were certainly putting on a one-woman show for sarcasm, “Have you tried looking in the open garage that gives you full view of a certain someone?”

“Can you just be nice for once? Would it kill you?”

“Heart attack. Spleen rupture. Heck, even a brain aneurysm.” You smirked.

“You are so dramatic.” He sighed again, looking at the open garage.

“At least my hair doesn’t add 12 inches to my height.” You shrugged, swinging the bat to rest on your shoulder.

“Taking up an actual sport are we?” He pointed at the baseball bat.

“Yeah, it’s called ‘whack-a-dick’. Wanna play?” You said, swinging the bat back around and pretended to aim it at him.

“You’re a horrible person, you know that?”

“Yes, it keeps me awake at night.”

“Y/n.” He took a step towards you, lowering your bat with the tip of his finger, “Can we please just have a serious conversation.”

“Sure, Harrington.” You tilted your head at him. “How can I help you?”

“Uh…” He suddenly looked very nervous, sending indiscrete glances to the garage. “Nancy. Is she… okay?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“I don’t even know if she wants to talk to me.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“You won’t know if you don’t try.” You said and he gave you a look. “Nancy needs communication. Support and communication. Just… apologise. It’s the best thing for you to do in this situation if you genuinely care.”

“I do. I’m so sorry.” He nodded quickly.

“Do I look like Nancy? Go tell her that.” You nudged him towards the garage, shaking your head.

He gave you a nod and walked in. You had to admit, you were curious. Should you be spying on their conversation? No. But the garage door was wide open, you couldn’t help it if you overheard something.

“Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, whoa.” You heard Steve trying to avoid Nancy’s not-so-amazing batting skills.

“What are you doing here?” Nancy exhaled.

“What are you doing? Why does everyone have bats?”

“Nothing.” Nancy said. You understood why she didn’t want to involve him.

“I hope that’s not meant for me.” He chuckled.

You heard their voices calm and quieten and you decided it best to leave them be. You walked to Nancy’s porch and sat down on the steps, playing with the baseball bat. You were kidding yourself if you thought a baseball bat would protect you from a monster.

Still hearing Nancy and Steve’s muffled voices, you sighed and decided to lay on your back, your leg bent into a comfortable position. As much as you hated their relationship sometimes, you thought they made a some-what good couple. Obviously they still had a few things to work out but damn they definitely had something. You couldn’t ignore the way Steve looked at her. That boy was willing to protect her no matter the cost. Granted, he went about it in an unnecessary way but that’s what love does to you. It’s a powerful thing. Which means it’s also a dangerous thing.

You thought back to Eddie. How every time you were together, you felt happy. Happier than you have felt in a long time. You didn’t know if it was love. Deep down, you didn’t think you were capable of that. But after the kiss, your instinctive need to protect him and the thousands of butterflies you felt in your stomach every time you looked at him. You were definitely falling for him.

“Woah. Have you been body-snatched because I don’t remember you being programmed to actually smile.” His voice tore through your peaceful silence.

“Fuck off, Harrington.” You said, not bothering to move.

“With pleasure. Have fun doing… whatever the hell you’re doing.”

You tilted your head to glance at Steve making his way down the street. Judging by how he was walking, the talk must have gone well.

“Y/n? You ready?” Nancy walked up to you, baseball bat by her side. You picked up your own and went to her side.

“No.” You laughed, “Let’s go see if Jonathan knows how to use a gun.”

Jonathan had no idea how to use a gun.

When you and Nancy had arrived, you saw that he had set up cans along some logs, firing the gun at them. And he missed every single one of them.

“You’re supposed to hit the cans, right?” Nancy asked you, loud enough for Jonathan to hear.

“No, actually, you see the spaces in between the cans? I’m aiming for those.” Jonathan smirked, making you laugh.

“Ah.” Nancy chuckled, setting her bag down.

“Well if the creature is ever hiding between cans, I’ll call you.” You nudged his shoulder, making him laugh.

“Either of you ever shot a gun before?” Jonathan held the gun in his hands, offering it to you both.

“Once.” You admitted. It was a long time ago.

“Have you met my parents?” Nancy chuckled softly, hands in her pockets.

“Yeah, I haven’t shot one since I was ten. My dad took me hunting on my birthday. He made me kill a rabbit.” Jonathan sighed as he reloaded the gun.

“A rabbit?” Nancy questioned, looking up at him.

“Yeah. I guess he thought it would make me into more of a man or something. I cried for a week.” He admitted.

“Yep, fathers are just great.” You muttered to yourself, twisting the bat around in your hand.

“Jesus.” Nancy breathed.

“What? I’m a fan of Thumper.” He chuckled.

“I meant your dad.” She corrected.

“I guess he and my mother loved each other at some point, but…” Jonathan cocked the gun, “...I wasn't around for that part.”

Nancy handed you her bat while she pointed to the gun, wanting to give it a go.

“Um, yeah.” He handed it over carefully. “Just, uh, point and shoot.” He nodded.

“Wow. That’s some serious teaching there.” You commented.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, nudging you. “I just poured my heart out there.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” You smiled thinly. You remembered how it was between your own parents. You never quite understood why they were ever together.

“I don’t think my parents ever loved eachother.” Nancy added. You nodded slowly. Ted and Karen were nice people but their marriage just seemed… off.

“They must’ve married for some reason.” Jonathan suggested.

Nancy raised her arms, aiming the gun. “My mom was young. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac... and started their nuclear family.”

“Screw that.” She finally said, shooting the gun. You watched the beer can clatter to the ground and you all laughed in surprise.

“Nice.” Jonathan commented. They both looked at eachother for a while. When you finally noticed, you started to panic slightly. Nancy used to look at Steve like that.

“Well.” You cleared your throat, snapping their focus over to you. “That was fun. Now what?”

“I suppose we should practice a bit more.” Jonathan nodded awkwardly, moving out of the way so Nancy can keep shooting.

“I think Y/n should give it a go.” Nancy smirked, handing you the gun. “You said you’ve used it before?”

“Once, Nance. I wouldn’t be any good at it now.” You were nervous, clearly. Your grip on the bat tightened.

“Just in case.” She whispered, sympathy in her eyes.

“Fine.” You dropped the bat and grabbed the gun, adjusting your hand to hold the weight.

“You can even give a rant about your parents.” Jonathan chuckled, “It helps.”

“There’s not much to say.” You aimed the gun at the middle can.

“You’ve never spoken about them.” Nancy said quietly next to you. “Never to me, anyway.”

You felt a twinge of guilt in your stomach. You weren’t sure why you felt guilty, it was your life after all. But you’ve kept so much from her that you were certain she didn’t know you at all.

“Uh… well…” The gun trembled a little and you steadied your hand, taking a breath. “They were young when they met, fell in love, had a kid… all that usual stuff. But after a while, they were struggling. No money. My dad lost his job and started doing other, uh, stuff, I guess. Not exactly legal. My mom, she… distracted herself.”

You had lowered the gun, your chest tightening as you confessed. Nancy put her hand on your shoulder and you raised the gun again, continuing.

“Long story short, they gave up. Gave up on eachother. Gave up on the kid…” You squinted, finger on the trigger. “Sent her away.”

You fired the gun and the can was knocked down.

“Wow, would you look at that. I’ve still got it.” You chuckled sadly, handing the gun back to Nancy. “I, uh… I’m gonna have a look around for a bit. See if I can figure out where to start looking considering all the ground we have to cover.”

“Y/n…” You heard Nancy begin to speak but you had already grabbed your bat and wandered to the edge of the woods.

“Your father is just trying to protect you!” Your mother screamed, clutching her can of beer.

“Mom! He gave me a gun! I’m literally in middle school and he wants me to join his illegal scamming club!” You yelled. The gun your father had given you was led on the kitchen table, your mom doing everything to not look at it.

“Don’t say that!” She drunkenly pointed a finger at you, her words slurred slightly, “Your father is just doing what he can to earn some money, stop being dramatic. It’s safe”

“It’s safe? SAFE?” You grabbed the gun, pointing it at nothing in particular. Even just holding it made you terrified, “If it’s so safe then why am I being trained to use a gun? Huh?”

“I don’t care.”

Your breath hitched and you set the gun back down. She just glared at you as your eyes stung.

“Fine.” Was all you said as you grabbed the gun and walked back outside.

Your father was waiting in the car. He had told you that it was your own choice to go with him. You looked back at the house and saw your little sister nervously looking out of your bedroom window. You looked away. You would never be doing this if you knew your father wouldn’t use your sister to get what he wants instead.

He didn’t care about you. Neither of them did.

So you got in the car. And you hated every single second of what was to come.

You found where you sighted the creature last.

When Nancy and Jonathan had completed their ‘practice’, you led them through the woods. For a while, you walked in complete silence. It definitely would have been labelled as awkward if you weren’t hunting down a faceless shadow that took people you care about.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Jonathan spoke. His voice was hushed as he caught up with you. You decided to walk just a bit ahead of them. After all, they both seemed to be growing closer and it was none of your business.

“Fine. You?” You replied, focus set on the trees around you.

“You never said what I was saying.” Nancy’s voice rang out. She was quick to change the subject.

“What?” Jonathan span back around but still walked by your side.

“Yesterday. You said I was saying something and that’s why you took my picture.”

You shook your head slightly. You and Jonathan had been taking the same photography class for around 2 years now. You knew exactly what Jonathan thought she was ‘saying’. It was something you had been thinking for a while now.

“Oh, uh… I don’t know.” He continued walking, head lowered, “My guess… I saw this girl, you know, trying to be someone else. But, for that moment… it was like you were alone, or you thought you were. And, you know, you could just be yourself.”

You held your breath. Now there was an uncomfortable silence.

“That is such bullshit.” Nancy remarked, walking a little faster.

“What?” Jonathan stammered, stopping. You knew it was getting bad when Nancy span back around, facing him.

“I am not trying to be someone else. Just because I’m dating Steve and you don’t like him-”

“You know what? Forget it. I just thought it was a good picture.” He marches past her, joining your side again.

“He’s actually a good guy.” Nancy called back, following you.

“Okay.” He clearly didn’t agree.

“Yesterday, with the camera…” She caught up with you both and walked on the other side of you. So now you were literally caught in the middle of an argument. “He’s not like that at all. He was just being protective.”

“Yeah, that’s one word for it.”

You were unsure as to why you were holding back a laugh, but the more they argued, the more difficult it became.

“Oh, and I guess what you did was okay?”

Here we go again, you thought. Just avoid eye contact and keep walking.

“No, I… I never said that.”

“He had every right to be pissed-”

“Okay, all right. Does that mean I have to like him?”

“No.”

“Listen, don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.”

“You know, I was actually starting to think that you were okay.” Nancy said and Jonathan just stopped moving altogether. You came to a halt as well, knowing that you’d need to intervene if you ever wanted this plan to go smoothly.

“Yeah?” He challenged. He should have known Nancy was a stubborn girl by now.

“Yeah. Yeah I was thinking, Jonathan Byers, maybe he's not the pretentious creep everyone says he is.”

“Nance.” You tried to help.

“Well, I was just starting to think you were okay. I was thinking, Nancy Wheeler, she's not just another suburban girl who thinks she's rebelling by doing exactly what every other suburban girl does…” He countered.

“Jonathan…” You warned, aware that he was about to take it too far.

“Until that phase passes and they marry some boring one-time jock who now works sales, and they live out a perfectly boring little life at the end of a cul-de-sac.” He continued, ignoring you, “Exactly like their parents, who they thought were so depressing, but now, hey, they get it.”

“Guys! Just stop!” You almost screamed. You felt like a child in the middle of a divorce.

“Why, Y/n? Because it’s not all about you for once?” Nancy scoffed, replying instantly.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Nancy.” You warned, your voice deadly. She immediately shut her mouth.

“Now if we’re done bitching to eachother, can we focus on what really matters?” Your words are the last spoken as you all continue through the woods in silence.

It was dark by the time something happened. You had all been walking at a steady pace for over an hour, still avoiding any interaction with eachother.

You thought you had heard a noise so you whipped your head around. You couldn’t investigate for long since you only had two flashlights and you were the one without.

After a little longer, Nancy stopped. You thought you had heard the same as she did; a distant whimper.

“What, are you tired?” Jonathan snapped. His anger was directed to the girl next to you.

“Shut up.” Was all she said as you both tried to listen.

“What?”

“I heard something.”

And then there was another whimper, louder this time, and your suspicions were confirmed. With a glance at eachother, you all took off toward the noise, careful to be quiet.

You eventually came across the source of the noise and your face fell. It was a deer, badly hurt but not yet dead. It must have been in a lot of pain. “Oh, God.” Nancy whispered when she saw it. “It’s been hit by a car. We can’t just leave it.”

The deer continued to whimper and you winced.

“It needs the pain to stop…” You said, looking at Jonathan. “I’ll do it.” Jonathan took the gun from Nancy’s shaking hand.

“I thought you said-”

“I’m not nine anymore.” He cocked the gun and pointed, ready to shoot.

You were going to look away when a sudden chill travelled down your spine, goosebumps trailing along your skin.

Fear.

The deer was suddenly dragged away with one giant pull, plunging it into the darkness. You all jumped back.

“What was that?” Nancy’s voice was barely a whisper. You were surprised you could hear it over your own thundering heart beat.

“It’s here.” You said, shivering.

Nancy and Jonathan started investigating, following the trail of blood. You wanted to stop them, to tell them it was a bad idea. But you couldn’t speak.

“Where’d it go?” Nancy asked when the trail came to an end by a tree.

“I don’t know.” Jonathan spoke. The whispers seemed louder now that there was a terrified silence.

“Do you see any more blood?” Jonathan asked you both.

“No.” Nancy responded. “Y/n?”

They waited for your response.

But it never came.

When the trail had come to an end, you had wandered towards a tree. The closer you got, the colder you felt. You crouched down and saw the tree had been carved out somehow, making an entrance.

The bark was dripping blood. In the darkness, you could just see some sort of black and red barrier covered in slime. It looked like an entrance to something.

Like a gate, you thought.

You heard Jonathan ask if there was any more blood. You opened your mouth to let them know what you had found. You never got the chance.

A long arm reached out and wrapped around your leg. It pulled you through so fast, you couldn’t react in time. The last thing you heard was Nancy calling out to you in a whisper.

You were clawing at the ground as soon as you realised what was happening. You could feel the slipper surface pull at your clothes, the air getting colder. You thought that this was the end.

And then it stopped. You stood up quickly, gripping your weapon. In the chaos, you still had managed to keep hold of your bat and you were clinging to it like it was your only chance for survival. You spun around but saw nothing. No sign of whatever pulled you through.

White particles floated in the air around you and you silently begged it wasn’t toxic. Looking around, the place looked the same yet entirely different. It was eerily quiet and the air was dense. The scientific part of your brain was still trying to figure out how such a small entrance led you to here. To what you could only assume was the Upside Down.

You turned back and realised you had no idea where the gate was. Panic set in. What if you couldn’t find it? Would you be stuck here forever?

“Y/n” A deep voice whispered in your ear and you swung your bat. Nothing.

Then, like a vibration, you heard a low snarl from deeper within. Curiosity taking control, you cautiously followed the sound. You had no where to run. Your only option was to hope you could take on whatever dragged you in here.

You turned a corner and your breathing stopped. It felt like your heart was as solid as a rock.

The deer was led on the ground while a figure was kneeling over it. Eating. The sound of gnawing made you sick.

Keeping hold of your breath you backed away slowly until your foot hit a twig. The sound caused a reaction and you grabbed hold of the tree next to you, positioning yourself on the other side with your hand clamped over your mouth. It was eerily quiet until you heard the creature return to its meal.

A tear rolled down your cheek. If that’s what took Barb… she was long gone. And you had the horrifying feeling that if you didn’t keep quiet, you would be next.

A shadow caught your eye, deep within the forest in front of you. You didn’t move. Neither did it. It looked like a person. Except, a little taller with… an abnormally long arm? It could just be a tree branch.

Another shadow appeared in the corner of your eye. You looked away for one second and suddenly the figure in front of you was gone. You shook it out of your mind. You’d rather focus on whatever is closer.

The flickering of light caught your attention and you saw Nancy stood frozen with her flashlight. She had seen the creature. You tried to get her attention, waving your arms frantically. Her gaze shifted to you and her eyes widened. You held a finger to your lips and signalled for her to run. You weren’t losing another friend.

She was too petrified to argue. Keeping her focus on the creature, she took slow steps backwards, just as you had earlier. You looked down to her feet, remembering why you were now hiding.

Nancy was too busy trying not to make a sound that she didn’t notice the large twig on the floor. Your hands clamped over your mouth before it even happened.

Snap.

Chapter 6: Monsters and Rumours ->

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justplainwhump · 5 months

Text

Just A Fling: Equipment Room

My favourite genre of writing: 'Dany refuses to acknowledge that she is not fine'.

This is set in an AU with @wildfae-afterdark, mentioned Peyton (in his pure, unaltered form) belongs to Vic. Set a while after Dany and Peyton started their affair. And then, something else happened.

[Just A Fling Masterlist]

Content / warning: implied past assault (m/f), past drugging, memory gaps, trauma response, allusions of gas lighting, allusions of date rape (even though that's not what happened), implied consentual sex.

The thing that finally makes Dany cry is hearing the question out loud, the very plain, very simple question she's been asking herself every night since the party.

"What happened?" Dennis asks softly from behind her.

She's been gathering her clothes from the floor of the tennis club's small equipment room, while he's still lounging on the folding bed.

She wasn't ready for this.

Her muscles lock painfully and she freezes right there, back still turned to Dennis.

"Dany?"

Nothing, she wants to say. You're overstepping. None of your business. You're my coach, not my therapist. Fuck off. Shut up. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

But the words won't come out. The white tennis dress she's just picked up tumbles back to the floor.

Nothing.

Fun. Let's just have fun.

The bed creaks as Dennis gets up steps in behind her. "Shh," he murmurs. "Sit down, Dany."

Shh. It's alright, Dany.

It wasn't. It isn't.

Dennis steps around her, lets her see him, before he carefully puts a hand on her forearm. "Come on. Sit."

He guides her back to the stupid, creaky folding bed, and nudges her to sit down on the edge. She follows numbly.

She followed someone else numbly, too.

"You're hurt," Dennis says.

Dany shakes her head. She's not. She's had a medical check. Not even a scratch. She's been assured she's in perfect physical shape.

She's fine.

"You've been acting off all week. And right now, while we were - You're never like this. I... I know something is wrong. What happened?" Dennis repeats.

He puts a hand on her knee, and she flinches. "Nothing," she whispers and pushes his hand back. "Nothing, I'm good."

"Listen, I know we're not friends, I am in no position to intrude but -"

He's right. They're not friends. Dany doesn't fuck her friends, and she doesn't befriend her fucks.

She likes it like that. Never personal. She makes sure they agree on that.

Peyton had agreed on that, too.

"Please, Dany," Dennis urges. "Did someone -"

Stop, she thinks. Please, stop.

Tears well up in her eyes, and she can't do anything to hold back.

"I don't remember," she whispers. "Please. I... I don't know."

She remembers being with Peyton, flirting, kissing, laughing. She remembers being alone, cold, dissheveled, with a foul taste in her mouth and a horrible headache.

She remembers his texts from later that night, she's stared at them, countless times since.

you were really drunk. i think maybe you took something too, you were acting strange.

drink some water.

It's okay. He wasn't her friend. He doesn't owe her anything. She's a grown up woman, she's capable and strong, and she's responsible for her own actions.

Liquid ecstasy, her tox screen had said.

Let's just have fun, Peyton had said.

Dany sobs.

Dennis' arms wrap around her, and oddly grateful, she buries her face against his chest.

He smells like Dennis, a bit sweaty, a bit of his too strong sports deodorant, a bit like the softner. Not like Peyton.

Not like the other figures that have been haunting her nightmares.

Not like the one who -

No. This is just Dennis.

"I'm fine," she croaks. "I'm sorry, Dennis, I'm... I'm fine. I-"

Someone rattles at the door, followed by an angry knocking. "Dennis? Open up. I don't care about your private lessons. Forgot my bag in here."

"Fuck." Dennis hisses, as he jumps up and gathers their clothes from the floor, tosses her dress back at Dany.

"Coming, buddy, just a sec."

Dany slips into the dress, as Dennis stuffs the rest of his stuff into a bag.

It's okay. She's good. She wipes her eyes with her hands, runs a hand through her hair, and calls up a practised smile, when the door opens.

"Ah, afternoon, Dany," Brad says, without batting an eye. "Nice seeing you back. Can I put you two on the roster for next week, then? Mixed double?"

"Brad, Dany's not -" Dennis begins, but she silences him with a single glare.

"Never been better," she lies smoothly. "Put us on. Let's crush them."

"Cool," Brad says, as he opens a locker and pulls out his bag. "See you then. And make sure this room gets aired."

Dennis stares at the door closing behind him and back at Dany. "Dany, you really should -"

"We play tennis," she interrups. "And we fuck sometimes. That's it. None of that gives you the right to tell me how I'm feeling."

"I was just -"

"I'm good. I deal with my stuff, you deal with yours." She flings her bag over her shoulder and sniffs. "And Brad's right. We should really let some air into this room."

"Whatever," Dennis scoffs. "Yeah. Sure."

And, right as she leaves the room, "Just get help, Dany. Please."

She pretends she didn't hear him.

#whump #imperfect coping mechanism #noncon cw #it's not that #but it's the vibes #I guess #abuse cw #Hi Vic this is for you #denial #dany hammond #Dennis langley #Dany peyton au

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