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newagesispage · 3 months

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MARCH 2024

THE RIB PAGE

It seems Disney has wedding dresses to celebrate your favorite evil Disney gal. Hey Pixie: It’s time to renew those vows!

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Every year about 7 people in this country get diagnosed with the plague. An Oregon resident has just been diagnosed.

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The Senate passed a $95.3 billion aid package for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan. The house killed it. Proof positive that Trump and Mike Johnson etc do not want to fix this country at all. It is all about the power! * * Mitch McConnell has announced that he will step down in November.

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It looks like the 1% have moved on from space to the underground. Billionaires all over the globe are getting their underground bunkers ready! This is not new , but it seems to be in overdrive right now. The $ people are so important and I wonder what they’ll do when they find out that humans do not live forever.

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A very complete fossil of the Triassic’s Dinocephalosaurus Orientalis was discovered in South China. The beauty has 32 separate vertebrae to possibly look for food in crevices under water and was first discovered in 2003.

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Alabama says that embryos are children. Drop a test tube and it could be murder. So.. People don’t need IVF anymore??

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Barry Tubb has sued Paramount for their use of his image in Top Gun: Maverick

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There is trouble on the set of Sherri. Matt Uzzle, a top exec passed away amid a financial investigation into the show.

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The Odysseus landed on the moon and fell over.

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There was apparently a big cell phone outage and I didn’t even know it. Just one more plus to not having a cell phone.

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Molly Shannon is joining Only Murders in the Building.

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John Cleese and Eric Idle are sparring a bit on X. Eric seems disgruntled at Holly Gilliam who manages the Python biz now. The rest of the crew are good with her. Eric’s daughter Lily posted that she’s proud of her Dad for speaking out against bullies. Cleese has reported that he and Idle always hated each other.

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Everything comes back around. Abe Lincoln talked of how Stephen Douglas was, “warping the public mind.” That is the perfect way to describe Scary Clown 45.** Come to think of it, it feels a bit like 1865 what with all the hate being pushed in this country. With elections in like 80 countries this year, there could be big changes.

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Support the Max Gruber Foundation that is all about hazing in college.

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Bullfighting is back. UGH!

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Wendy Williams has been diagnosed with aphasia and Frontotemporal dementia.

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Abbott Elementary, Celebrity Family Feud, Jeopardy Masters and Dancing with the Stars have been renewed.

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The 2024 noms for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are out. This year there is Mary J. Blige, Cher, Mariah Carey, Dave Matthews Band, Eric B and Rakim, Foreigner, Peter Frampton, Jane’s Addiction, Lenny Kravitz, Kool and the Gang, Oasis, Sinead O’Connor, Ozzy Osbourne, Sade and A Tribe Called Quest. I mean, Geils? Zevon? C’mon stop it!

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Ozzy is threatening legal action against Ye for sampling ‘Iron Man’. Permission was refused since Ozzy said, “I want no association with this man. He was refused permission because he is an anti- semit and has caused untold heartache to many.” ** Ye also used a sample from Donna Summer’s I feel love. He didn’t have permission for this either. These men and their egos. Yikes!!

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A woman named Genesse Moreno opened fire on Lakewood church with an AR-15. She was killed.

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RFK Jr. Is pissing his own kin off again with his ad filled with old Kennedy pics.

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It’s the year of the Dragon!

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123.7 million people watched the Super Bowl. This beats the moon landing as the most watched program ever. ** Marshawn Lynch had fun after the game by walking up to 49er fans and giving them a “fuck you.”

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Watch for the new Doc, Kiss the Future.

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The RNC may be run by Michael Watley and Lara Trump. ** Political candidate Valentina Gomez took a flamethrower to books she didn’t like. ** Trump was booed at sneakercon as he was pushing his golden shoes. He wasn’t used to a crowd that does not adore him. He should get out of his comfort zone more often. ** We’re here to overthrow democracy.-Jack Posoblec, a speaker at CPAC.** Trump tried to negotiate one of his penalties in court.

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Days alert: Bring back Jen Lilley!!** Burnin’ down the Horton house?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**First , a permanent move to Peacock then Jen then Arianna then burning the Horton house?? They are just blowing the whole thing up, aren’t they?? I know the people in charge at NBC don’t give a flying fuck about elderly people but I still hear the elderly complain about not being able to see Days on NBC anymore.

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For the second time, a memorial to the Pulse nightclub victims was defaced. A 19 year old did burnouts on the LGBTQ Pride crosswalk. Of course, the truck had a big American flag on it. Why is it this particular type of person feels the need to prove they are Americans all the time? A 22 year old genius did the same thing at an earlier date.

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NY Dem Tom Suozzi won the house seat to replace George Santos.

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Donald Glover has said that the script for the Community movie is finished.

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The Chiefs won the Superbowl. Usher was the halftime show and that stage sure was bouncing. A 30 second ad went for $7mil. The Super Bowl went into overtime for only the second time in history. The parade to celebrate was interrupted with a shooting and a fan was killed. ** Are men really breaking a lot of tv’s because of sports?

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Chris Coons tells us that the EU has approved a support package for Ukraine and wonders what the Hell we are doing in the U.S. Europe has already spent more on Ukraine than us. They are very concerned about Trump and his calling out NATO and discarding the hard worked for bill for aid.

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The Oglala Sioux tribe has banned SD Gov. Christi Noem from their reservation. She told the South Dakota state legislature that she wants to send more state resources to Texas. ** Calling the U.S. southern border in Texas an invasion by illegal immigrants and criminal groups to justify sending South Dakota’s National Guard troops there is a red herring that the Oglala Sioux tribe doesn’t support . They don’t need to be put in cages, separated from their children like during the Trump administration or be cut up by razor wire furnished by, of all places, South Dakota.”- Frank Star

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King Charles has been diagnosed with cancer.

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Abortion providers filed a lawsuit in 2019 against the law that prohibits Medicaid from being used to pay for abortions. And now: To treat a woman differently based on a characteristic unique to her sex is to treat her differently because of her sex which triggers the enforcement of our ERA. - Judge Donohue

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I’m beginning to think that all the hatred evangelicals have towards Taylor Swift is because everyone can see that she’s for more like Jesus than they are. - Chris Kratzer ** Taylor donated $50 mil to truckers, $50 mil to food banks and $20 mil to animals, not to mention that she gave $ to the victims family after the Chiefs parade.

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Tesla has recalled 2.2 million vehicles to fix a warning light.** The investigation into Tesla is becoming more aggressive as they look deeper into safety problems of crashes with auto pilot. ** According to the NY Times, terrorists may be paying for the blue check mark on twitter. (I refuse to call it X.) -Stephen King.... Stop deadnaming X. respect our transition. - Elon Musk... Why? You never respected your daughter’s transition. -transgender atty. Alejandra Caraballo..(Musk’s child Vivian Wilson filed for a name change to reflect her gender identity).... twitter twitter twitter and so on. Fuck your need to put your personal brand on everything.- Stephen King.....The NY article went on that X may be violating U.S. sanctions because the company accepted payments from individuals or organization that are forbidden from engaging in business with U.S. companies like state-run media organizations and terrorists from Russia and Iran. ** Leaders of Hezbollah and the Houthi rebels have subscriptions with blue check marks.

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Tim Burton is to direct the remake of attack of the 50 ft. Woman. We need another one of those?

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The Grammys came and went. My best dressed were: Taylor Swift (winner! ) , Chrissy Tiegand, Janelle Monae, Coco Jones, Gina Alice Redlinger, Romy Madley Croft, Caroline Polachek, Vic Lentaigne and Dawn Richard was a tree! Miley looked like Cher and Madonna put together. ** Killer Mike was arrested at the show for misdemeanor battery, but soon released. He won 3 Grammys.** Someone else had to make a stink about Beyonce. Her husband called out the voters for not giving all the awards to his wife, I guess?? Jay-Z won the global impact award. Why do all these people feel the need to talk for her. She is a grown woman, I think she can speak for herself. Are we supposed to expect macho declarations at every award show now?? ** Miley yelled at the crowd to get more into her song. What?

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Look for Unfrosted: The Pop Tart Story with Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Amy Schumer, Hugh Grant, Bill Burr, Daniel Levy, Jack McBrayer, Thomas Lennon, Bobby Moynihan and Fred Thomas. Did Jerry just call all the funny people he knew?

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Aneurin Barnard, Hayley Atwell and Jack Lowden will star in Rogue Trooper for Duncan Jones.

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The SAG awards were great with the fashion. My best were Emma Stone, Lily Gladstone, Da’Vine Joy Randolph,E lizabeth Debicki, Tony Shalhoub, Alex Borstein, Laverne Cox, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Kathryn Hahn, Emily Blunt, Jessica Chastain, Louisa Jacobson and Ali Wong and the dudes from Abbott who were amazing. Tan France had a horizontal tie that I couldn’t stop staring at. ** Jen Aniston presented Barbra Streisand the life achievement award. ** My favorite part was when Tantoo Cardinal was on stage. I adore her!!! ** Pedro got back at Kieran by winning. Succession came back for ensemble drama. The Bear still cleaned up as well as Lily Gladstone.

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Hooray for Shawn Fain leading the UAW. We need more workers rights and less billionaires. EAT THE RICH!!!!!.. Order this shirt to support the UAW.

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The Spirit awards were pretty much The Holdovers awards. There was a protestor outside the tent yelling, “Free Palestine” and “Ceasefire now “ all night.

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The monarch population is down 60%.

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It looks like the housewives are starting to sue Andy Cohen and Bravo. It was only a matter of time.

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Aaron Bushnell. A U.S. Air Force member set himself on fire at the Israeli embassy.

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Amy Poehler and Joe Biden helped Seth Meyers celebrate 10 years on the air.

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Richard Tornetta sued Elon Musk in 2018 and won when a judge voided the $56 billion pay package.** Bill Maher admitted he can’t help it, he likes Elon. It was too funny that he told jokes about multiple things but when he got to Elon, he said, “just kidding.” What?

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Larry David caused a stir when he when he grabbed Elmo on the Today show. He also insulted a drummer on Seth Meyers when he told him it was easy and he could do that. Just Larry being Larry.

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The enhanced games are games with steroids. Peter Thiel is shelling out big $. The things that rich boys find to do with their $ is fucking unbelievable. Their statement is: The athletes will be unencumbered by anachronistic legacy systems that are anti science and stigmatize enhanced athletes. Oh my. Sounds like some people don’t want to believe in themselves. Nothing but phonies. Wouldn’t it be nice if all that $ went to children and animals that really need the help?

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I was not raised with grown men who whine all the time. I will never understand these people who forever talk about the strength they get from God and then whine about everything in the world. Is God telling you this is the way to solve the problems? What about turn the other cheek? Forgiveness? These people are not like any conservatives or Christians that I knew. Gas prices and unemployment numbers keep dropping and wages are up. Quit bitching and let’s fix the other things that need fixing! ** I see a lot of the red hats that remind me of the brown shirts. Same gang??** A 3 judge panel said that there is no immunity for Trump. ** A judge ordered Trump to pay a $364 mil penalty. He is also barred from serving as an officer or director of any NY corporation for 3 years. ** A year long scheme to dupe banks and others with financial statements that inflated Trump’s wealth. It borders on pathological. - Judge Engoron ** Don Jr. And Eric were fined $4 mil each and are out of the NY biz for 2 years and no bank loans for 3 years. ** The hush money trill will start on March 25.

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Jacob Elordi got into an altercation with a radio producer.

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Carson Hocevar is driving # 77 in the Cup Race this year!! And.. Go Bell!!!

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Tyne Daly was hospitalized and had to drop out of Doubt: A Parable on Broadway. Amy Ryan is taking over.

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The BAFTA’s were held and Oppenheimer won big as well as Poor Things and Da’vine Joy Randolph. My best dressed were Sophie Ellis Bextor, Daisy Edgar- Jones, Claire Foy and Emma Corrin.

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George Santos has sued Jimmy Kimmel. I wondered how he was getting away with airing his cameos but I assumed contracts had been signed. No. Kimmel and his staff used fake names to order cameos then put them o the show. And why would you want to give Santos the $? Didn’t he grift enough?

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New Hampshire’s Chris Sununu is so dismissive of others. He tells us that Trump has done this awful thing and that but I would vote for him. It seems this is a mantra for them. What dicks! ** Lindsey Graham called Zuckerberg and other big tech guys, “bastards.” Others said that after they grilled these guys, the Senators probably patted themselves on the back and went right out and used social media. ** Alex Smirnov, an FBI informant, has been charged with fabricating a multi million $ bribery scheme. Jamie Raskin has called for an end to the impeachment inquiry since Smirnov started all this. His story about the “Biden crime family” and the Ukranian energy company was all Russian BS. Jim Jordan does not care and keeps pushing. Putin must be so happy that he has these operatives in our Government. ** Russia has been hit with 500 new sanctions.

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Early spring??

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Lauren Boebert’s son, Tyler has been arrested. There are 22 counts including theft and trespassing with multiple victims.

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We are seeing the SNL 1975 cast come together. Cory Michael Smith is Chevy, Matt Wood is Belushi, Ella Hunt is Gilda, Dylan O’Brien is Akroyd, Lamorne Morris is Garrett (that is perfect), Kim Matula is Jane and Emily Fairn is Laraine. ** Is it me or does this cold foam ad seem like a fake SNL ad?

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Sam Waterston is leaving Law and Order at the end of February and Tony Goldwyn is taking over.

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For the first time in the republican campaign, Nikki Haley has outraised Trump. A big portion of Trump’s small donors have gone away.

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DeSantis and company spent over $168 mil on his campaign. ** Could he be Trump’s VP pick?? He is throwing that name around, along with Tim Scott and a few others. ** The difference between humans and animals is animals would never let the dumbest animal lead the pack. ** DHS Secretary Mayorkas was impeached for no reason.* * Trump is always talking about water. That seems like a dementia thing. ** An Illinois judge barred Trump from the Republican primary ballot. Just waiting on the Supreme Court.

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So.. The Michigan chair of the RNC refuses to accept the results of her RNC election and Trump wants her out. Will republicans ever again accept results when they lose?

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Word came down that Wendy’s was spending $20 mil to add fluctuating price boards. The goal seemed to be jacking up prices during peak hours. Burger King decided they would use that and give away free whoppers for 3 days. Of course, you have to make a purchase and have an app. So.. A lot of people are left out of that “free whopper.” Wendy’s has since said that they were not using the boards that way. They may use them to give discounts at slow times and they swear they did not use the phrase, “surge pricing.”

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Karl Jordan Jr. and Ron Washington were found guilty of killing Jam Master Jay after being cut out of a drug deal.

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El Chapos grandaughter is looking for the Loch Ness Monster.

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The Geico ad that skewers conspiracies is cute. Insurance company commercials usually suck.

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A new book about first ladies tells us Melania was much detached from first lady business. A lot of her time was spent with lawyers and finance people. All tvs were tuned to Fox in the White House.

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The Supreme Court is looking into Bump stocks and Presidential immunity. They will stay paused until April 22.

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Oprah is leaving Weight Watchers since she admits she is using drugs to lose weight.

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We now produce more oil that Saudi Arabia.

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We have sent air strikes to Syria and Iraq after 3 U.S. military deaths.

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Brian Wilson’s family is looking into conservatorship due to a neurocognitive disorder.

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Sexual assault news: Kolchiro Ito was arrested on child porn charges. ** Sean Combs has a fifth accuser, Rod Jones.

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Bob Odenkirk will star in Normal.

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Beyonce is the first black woman to have a #1 country hit with Texas hold ‘em.!!!

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A shipwreck showed up on the shore of Newfoundland. Work was proceeding quickly before the waves take it back.

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R.I.P. Isabelle Thomas, Adele Springsteen, Henry Fambrough, Carl Weathers, Elmore Nickleberry, Wayne Kramer, Don Murray, Chita Rivera, Aston Barrett, Hage Geingob, Hinton Battle, N. Scott Momaday, Pamela Salem, Flaco, Claude Montana, Randy Sparks, Joe Louis Dudley, Dan Wilcox, Chris Gauthier, Jackie Loughery, Lynda Gravatt, Mickey Gilbert, Cecilia Gentili, Kelvin Kiptum, Alexei Navalny, Bob Edwards, William Post, Steven Ostrow, Ben Lanzarone, Alice Mackler, Tony Ganios, Ewen Macintosh, Charles Dierkop, Eddie Driscoll. Anne Whitfield, Toby Keith, Richrd Lewis and Denise I. McCabe.

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destinyc1020 · 9 months

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The reason JE is spotlighted is partially bc he could promote Priscilla and mostly bc the preferred film twitter sweetheart Timmy is in a public relationship a lot don’t approve of. JE is their new dream boy they can project onto. It’s why Austin isn’t projected onto (he’s in a long term public relationship). I don’t think Paul, Barry or Josh are surface level good looking enough to be the white boy of the month. And Mexico is the Cabo pool with Eiza. Cabo is THEE place to go if you want to get papped, and Timmy knew that.

and if Timmy wants to be the next leo, he has to hope both Wonka and Dune become major hits. Titanic was seen by what feels like almost every person on the planet ($3.3B with inflation) and is still regularly quoted over 25 years later.

re: Leo. If leo wanted to be less famous, he would’ve taken smaller films and moved out of LA like Kate Winslet did for the first 10 years after Titanic. When you’re less famous OR do smaller films your salary becomes MUCH smaller. I also think Leo STAYS in the papers because of his revolving door of 22 year old models. If 15 years ago he started discreetly dating more age appropriate women we would not care. But now the public knows he loves a 22 year old so every time he’s spotted with a different one, it’s reported.

Hmm.... yea, I guess that could be it? 🤔

It’s why Austin isn’t projected onto (he’s in a long term public relationship). I don’t think Paul, Barry or Josh are surface level good looking enough to be the white boy of the month.

Well actually, JE has been dating Olivia Jade for the same amount of time that Austin has been dating Kaia lol. Both JE and Austin are about to be in the 2-year mark of their respective rlshps if both couples make it to December lol. Do ppl forget that JE has a gf?? 😅

Yea.....You're probably right about Paul and Barry.... Which Josh are you referring to? 🤔

And Mexico is the Cabo pool with Eiza. Cabo is THEE place to go if you want to get papped, and Timmy knew that.

You think Timmy planned those pap pics?? 🥴🤔

I mean, no offense, but if I was just going to Cabo JUST to get papped, I wouldn't be doing what they were both doing in the pool lol 🥴 If you catch my drift lol.... 👀

I'm not saying SOME celebrities don't go to Cabo JUST to get papped, but I think ppl forget that Cabo is a very popular destination spot for many ppl, especially those living in Southern CA. It's so close. Even regular folks go there lol.

re: Leo. If leo wanted to be less famous, he would’ve taken smaller films and moved out of LA like Kate Winslet did for the first 10 years after Titanic.

Why would Leo move out of LA? 🥴

Not only is his work in LA, but Leo is actually FROM LA.... born and raised. His family is also in LA. Why would he just up and move like that? LA is his home. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It's also closest to his job.

Kate isn't from the US.

I also think Leo STAYS in the papers because of his revolving door of 22 year old models. If 15 years ago he started discreetly dating more age appropriate women we would not care. But now the public knows he loves a 22 year old so every time he’s spotted with a different one, it’s reported.

Well yea, that's probably true. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Coz Leo actually lives a pretty quiet life. I mean, he really doesn't do anything out of the ordinary. He's not getting into any drama, he minds his business, he's not saying anything odd or off the wall, he doesn't even EVER post himself or his personal life on his IG social media account.

So, any non-filming news the media can grab on him is usually just about his dating life. 🤷🏾‍♀️🥴

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years

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I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 3

Batfamily x Batsis Story!

Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst! Tags!: @itsnottilly @cloudyskylines

Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN!!!! Y'all enjoy this now, because it's only gonna get so much more angstier soon. -Thorne

Set Three Months After PT. 2:

She didn’t have to look up to know who entered the shop, because his voice carried over the air. “Melisandre!”

Humming, she immediately plated a pastry and a hot coffee, sliding it on the counter just as he sat down. “Good morning, Wally,” she greeted, watching him take a bite. “Right on time, as always.”

He smiled, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Morming Merisamdmur,” he replied, and she rolled her eyes with a snort.

“Jeez Wally, didn’t your mom teach you to not talk with your mouth full?”

Shrugging, he swallowed and said, “I was trying to be polite.”

“I think it’s more polite to chew with your mouth closed and speak after you swallow.”

They glared at each other before one of them cracked a smile and they fell into laughter. She tossed a napkin his way. “How’s your day going so far?”

Wally groaned and laid his head on the cool marble countertop. “I’ve got so much to do today, it’s not even funny.”

“Well, well, Wally the procrastinator is finally feeling his toes at the fire, huh?” She ignored his glare. “What do you have to do?”

“Barry needs my help with my cousins and my friends are coming over today to hangout and I haven’t bought any food or drinks for that and I have yet to even start cleaning my house.”

She giggled and reached over, patting his head sympathetically. “There, there, Wally. Everything will be alright. Why don’t you just bring your cousins over to your house and watch them while you hang out with your friends?”

“Because my cousins are annoying and I’m not subjecting my friends to that,” he countered and propped his chin on his palm. “Unless…”

She cocked a brow and waited for him to continue and he offered, “You come over with my cousins and help me watch them?”

“No.”

“What! Why?”

“Well for starters, I don’t know your friends and it would be weird for me to just show up.” She countered.

“They’ll like you though!” he cried, and his hand shot out, wrapping around hers. “Please, Melisandre!”

“Wally, I’ll just watch your cousins at my apartment and Iris can just come get them later, that’ll be easier and won’t force me to sit in a group of people who don’t know me.” He tried to speak but she tossed another napkin, hitting him in the face. “I’m watching Dawn and Don so you and your friends can hang out without being bothered, and that’s final.”

His face pinched. “You sure you can keep up with them?”

Something passed between them and she quirked a brow. “I can keep up with you, can’t I, Wally?”

Wally chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a fair point.” He glanced at her. “They would like you though.”

She ignored the comment in favor of, “Tell me about them. What are they like?”

He inhaled sharply and took a moment to think. “Donna’s strong willed, Roy’s loud, Lilith likes to get in your head, Garth is easy to annoy, and Dick’s kinda the glue that keeps us together.”

“Dick? He get that from Richard by asking nicely?”

Wally barked a laugh. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna tell him you said that.” He nodded. “But yeah, his name is Richard Grayson, but he goes by Dick.”

Her eyes almost bulged out of her head and she was lucky that Wally was looking at his watch then.

Don’t ask. Don’t do it. Leave it alone.

But she couldn’t stop herself.

“Richard Grayson?” she feigned. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

Wally met her eyes. “Bruce Wayne.”

She snapped her fingers. “Right! The ward.” Wiping the counter, she added, “I heard they added a new addition to that family too. A daughter, right? Cassie? Cassidy?”

“Cassandra,” Wally corrected. “Yeah, that’s Dick’s new sister.” He put his elbows on the counter. “She’s nice, doesn’t talk a lot though.”

“The quiet one, then?”

He laughed. “Of them all.”

Don’t dig any deeper, (Y/N). Keep your fucking mouth shut and let it go.

“I always wondered what happened to that other daughter he had,” she murmured, and Wally’s face blanched like he’d witnessed a murder.

“What?”

She met his gaze. “He had another daughter. I think her name was (Y/N).”

He swallowed thickly. “He does.”

“Does? She’s still around?”

“Yeah, she’s in some Italian villa.”

“Wait really? I thought she died or something?”

“What? No! She left—” Wally snapped his mouth shut like he was about to reveal a secret, but she knew anyways. “She left and went to Europe for a mental retreat.” He finalized and she wondered if that was the story Dick told him to say if anyone asked. Or maybe it was Bruce.

“It’s been like three years now, right? You’d think she’d post something on social media.”

“The whole point of a mental retreat, Melisandre, is to get away from social media.”

Oh please, I know plenty of elite who do that shit and still post crap on their socials.

“There’s no way that girl hasn’t.”

“Why do you say that?”

She scoffed. “Oh please, she’s the daughter of a multi-billionaire. There’s no way a girl that wears Gucci belts and carries Prada purses keeps herself off social media.”

Wally’s eyes narrowed like he was thinking hard about something and she internally cursed.

Oh, smooth move you dumbass.

She coughed and waved a hand. “Well, it’s all theory anyway.”

After a moment, he nodded. “Yeah…theory.” Wally got to his feet and handed her the empty plate. “I should go ahead and get back to my place and clean up before they get here.”

“Have fun,” she smiled, and he grabbed her arm.

“Take a pic with me.”

“What? Why?”

“So, I can tell my friends about you and prove I’m not lying.” He pouted. “Pretty please, Melisandre?”

Don’t do it. Dick will know. You know he’ll know.

She smiled despite her internal thoughts. “Sure.”

Wally grinned and raised the camera where she was in the background. She threw up a peace sign and gave a cheesy grin, momentarily blinded by the flash of the camera.

She spun and filled a bag with pastries then handed it to him. “Here, so you can give even more proof.”

Wally took the bag and hopped onto the counter, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks Melisandre!” And he was dashing out the door.

You’ve ruined it all. This is going to come back to bite you in the ass. And it’s going to come quicker than you think.

She frowned and wiped down the counter again, trying to ignore her thoughts. Maybe. Just maybe, it wouldn’t.

***

Waving Barry and Iris off, she smiled as the twins climbed into the backseat of their car and the taillights signaled their departure. She closed the door behind her and glanced at the mess the two tornadoes had left. Even for the little she had in her apartment, they sure did know how to make a mess.

She sighed as she bent over to pick up one of the cushions when her doorbell rang and she stood up, confusion coming over her as she made her way to the door.

“Hello?” she asked, and a muffled voice echoed from the other side.

“Melisandre, it’s me, Wally. Can I come in?”

She opened the door, surprised to see him. “Wally? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your friends?”

“Yeah, I told them I had to do something really quickly,” he said as entered her apartment. He took a moment to examine her living room. “Man, Dawn and Don did a number here, didn’t they?”

She chuckled. “We had fun building forts.” Nudging him in the side, she added, “I don’t mind the mess.” She looked at him. “Do your friends know? About you being…you know?”

He nodded. “We’re all special in some way.”

Understatement there, Wally.

“So, why tell them you need to do something then come to me? Is everything alright?”

Busying herself with the couch cushions, she waited for him to explain, but nothing could’ve prepared her for his words.

“It will be once I get to the bottom of it…(Y/N).” She froze for a split second, but it was all he needed. “It really is you, isn’t it?”

(Y/N) stood upright and gazed at him. “When did you know?” Her voice was a lot colder than she meant for it to be.

“I had suspicion for a while, but when I showed the picture to everyone, Dick said it looked like you.”

“Really?” she laughed. “I thought I did a good job changing my appearance from three years ago.”

Wally didn’t laugh, he merely gaped at her. “Why?”

“Why what?” (Y/N) knew what he was referring to.

“Why’d you just leave?” He took a step towards her. “Do you have any idea what your family has gone through since you disappeared on them? The grief? The shame?”

She shrugged. “I explained everything in the letter I wrote my dad, Wally. There’s no reason why they should still be concerned with me.”

“They love you!” he shouted, taking her by surprise. “They love and miss you so much!”

“My family ignored me for eighteen years straight, Wally!” She yelled right back. “What was I supposed to do? Sit and pretend being forgotten was all normal?!” (Y/N) couldn’t help but shove at his chest. “I chose to leave because my next choice was taking a swan dive off Wayne Enterprises!”

His eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I left because the only person who cared about me, was me.” She turned and fixed the final couch cushion while he watched her do so.

“They’re still looking for you, you know. Dick is always staring at his phone hoping there’s a text from Jason or Tim that they’ve found a sign of you.”

(Y/N) sighed. “If you’re trying to guilt trip me, Wally, it’s not going to work.” She shot him a glare. “I got over the fucking guilt the second the flight to Central took off. I got over the fucking guilt the night I laid in a hotel room bed curled into a ball where I cried myself to sleep. I got over the fucking guilt the moment I realized I’ve done so much better on my own than when I was there.”

She marched up to him and got in his face. “I got over the fucking guilt when I realized Barry and Iris Allen were more of a family than four brothers and dad ever were.”

They glared at each other and finally, she let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already started a new life here and I have no plans of ever going back.”

“At a college that doesn’t have a real name. You know that’s illegal, right?”

(Y/N) scoffed. “What’re you gonna do, Wally? March into four-C and tell them Bruce Wayne’s daughter is going to school under a false name? We both know you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll tell Dick,” he suddenly shot back, and she went rigid.

“You wouldn’t dare,” (Y/N) threatened and he took a step towards her, getting nose to nose with her.

“Try me.”

They stared one another down and she said, “I think you need to leave, Wally West.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I guess I should.” He spun on his heel and marched to the door, but stopped when she questioned,

“Are you really going to tell him?”

Wally gazed at the ground for a moment then he murmured, “…No…it’s not my place to.”

(Y/N) swallowed and nodded. “Thank yo—”

“Don’t thank me, (Y/N). I’m lying to my best friend about knowing the real location of his baby sister he misses dearly.”

She looked away. “Cassandra is his baby sister now. He should focus on her.”

“You really have no idea about what they feel for you, do you, (Y/N)?” He asked, and she grunted.

“Get out, Wally.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gone,” he spat, slamming the door behind him, hard enough that it shook the walls that held the doorframe.

(Y/N) stared at the door for a few moments then cursed sharply and collapsed onto her couch, eyes directed to the ceiling. Three years down the drain in one conversation.

Way to go, (Y/N). You did a spectacular job of keeping it all under wraps.

She groaned and picked herself off the couch, not caring about the mess as she headed to bed. She’d deal with it all in the morning.

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years

Text

Going Public - Chris Evans x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!!! i’m sorry for the lack of updates on here, i’ve just been occupied with life lately and haven’t been able to write properly in a while. but here’s this headcanon idea i just had to write:) i missed writing so much, but i can’t say i’m gonna go back to updating frequently yet, so i hope you enjoy this<3

Summary: you and chris were keeping your relationship private, and when you finally decide to go public there’s a particular post that catches your eye... (it’s scott’s, and he’s a goofball).

Warnings: none:)) it’s just a really fluffy fic

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when chris asked you out, you were ecstatic

but, you did have one request

no publicity

you were a normal girl, and you wanted a normal life, no paparazzi harassing you or jealous women talking shit about you on the internet

and chris had absolutely no problem with that

in fact, he was happy you asked him to try and keep it quiet, since he's such a private person as well

and surprisingly enough, it worked really well

you rarely went on fancy dates, and if you did chris would call ahead and ask they respect your privacy

sure, you couldn't go to bars, or festivals, or shows, and you did feel like you were missing out sometimes

but not really

you and chris were both more introverted, homebodies, and you were both extremely content with just staying at home, or going to the occasional escape room double date with scott and his boyfriend

(you all got progressively more and more competitive with each one, trying to solve them in less and less time, but it was really fun)

it worked so well and for so long, you and chris had just sunken into that comfort zone so much and you were now getting married, without the world knowing

the option of going public with your relationship didn't even come up when you got engaged

chris was happy with it, because he got to keep you all to himself, but mostly because he knew how much you didn't want to go public and how happy you were being a part of his life without the craziness of hollywood

but now, when you were coming back home from your honeymoon, you couldn't help but wonder if that was the right thing to do

sure, you didn't want your potential kids growing up in the limelight

but you also didn't want them to miss out on stuff because of you

plus, you were ready, have been for a while

it couldn't be something you maintained forever, that just wasn't realistic, and that fact that no one found out in the last 3 years was pretty much a miracle

and when you talked about it with chris, he agreed

so, the next week, you both posted the same picture to your social media, tagging each other

it was a beautiful picture from your wedding, slow dancing and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes

it was cheesy, but you both loved it

your accounts were still private, and you were keeping it that way, but chris' fans would know

and so will the rest of the world

chris squeezed your hand reassuringly, and you pressed the post button in unison

you had the urge to throw your phone across the room so you wouldn't see it again, but you took a deep breath, shut it down, and put it away on the table

chris pulled you into a tight hug

"i can't believe we finally did it," you chuckled into his chest as his arms pulled you impossibly closer

"i can't believe i'm gonna have to share my beautiful wife with the rest of the world from now on," you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke softly

indeed, as you lifted your head to meet his gaze, a soft smile was drawn across his face

you leaned your chin on his chest and looked up at him

"i love you," you said.

"i love you too," he pressed a soft kiss onto your lips, "now do you wanna watch a movie?"

you both didn't look at your phones until the next day

you received hundreds of messages from colleagues, acquaintances who didn't know you well enough and had just found out

you replied to some, and then logged onto instagram

you felt like a kid watching a scary movie, covering their eyes with their hands but leaving room between their fingers to see it anyways

the first thing you saw was chris' post

he posted it with the caption "my everything" and a blue heart

you couldn't resist the temptation and scrolled through some of the comments, and to your relief most of them were supportive or surprised

"cHRISTOPHER WHAT THE FUCK"

"jahfbsapf😭"

"how the hell did he get a wife,,, what"

"okay but he literally married a disney princess LOOK AT HER"

"she's living the dream omg"

you chuckled at the last two

at that moment, chris came up behind you, nuzzling his face into your neck

"good morning," your smiled, turning your head to peck his lips

"morning," he smiled. "have you seen scott's one yet?"

"oh, did he comment? i didn't-"

"oh no, he made a whole post," he chuckled.

you shook your head and opened your phone again, looking up scott's instagram, and sure enough there was a new post

"since these dorks are done being stealthy, i figured i'd share some of my favorite pics of my favorite sister-in-law and my brother whom she so magnificently tamed😜. i love you guys, congrats💖"

you giggled as you read the caption, and only then your eyes lifted to the first photo

it was of you and chris in a halloween party, wearing, how could you not, a disney couples costume

chris was looking at you with a smile, his cheeks slightly tinted, probably from the beers he had that night, while your head was thrown back in laughter

you remembered that night, mostly because of the ridiculous amount of candy you and chris devoured and it made you feel bad until the next morning (still worth it though), but you didn't remember that this picture existed

the next one was a selfie you, chris, and dodger had sent them one afternoon, just because it was so darn cute

dodger was licking your cheek, and you and chris were both laughing

the next was another pic you didn't know he had taken, of the both of you when you were all at a picnic

you were leaning back against chris' chest, and he was pointing at something outside of the picture, gentle smiles on your faces

the next was one of the both of you at your wedding, but it wasn't the nice one of you and chris slow dancing

because scott clearly couldn't leave it at that

it was a picture from later that night, as was seen by your hair, which was more tousled, and it was a picture of you raising your hand high and twirling chris around, clearly laughing

the last one was a picture that was taken in lisa's house, where you were both sitting on the couch

one of chris' hands was on the back, holding you, and the other was on his chest, his face thrown back on laughter

it was the look in your eyes though, that made a grin spring onto your face

because you looked exactly how you felt

so completely in love with this puppy of a man

you felt chris smile behind you

"awww, look at your face," he said, "you like meee," he drawled teasingly

"well, i did marry you," you shrugged, feigning indifference.

he kissed your nose, "i like you too."

"gross," you scrunched your nose at him before you both erupted into laughter

and you at that moment, you truly knew you did the right choice

because everything was okay, and you knew as long as you had chris by your side, it's always going to be

he's the person who made you feel safe, loved

and that was never going to change, no matter what

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tell me your thoughts!! till next time lovelies<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans headcanon #chris evans fluff

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kravkalackin · 4 years

Text

Kravitz had answered the listing as a joke. He had assumed that said listing had been a joke. Now he was wondering if this was going to be the thing that got him murdered.

Reading it over again, it hadn't changed from when he looked at it five minutes ago.

Listing: Fake Boyfriend To Avoid Jogging With Roommate Serious Responses Only

Additional details: my roommate keeps trying to make me go to the gym with him, so I told him I couldn't cause I have a date that day. It worked the first six times but now he's starting to get suspect. Especially because the dates are at 6am. Need a cute boy to stand in as a fake date. If you have a job that would require you to go on dates at fucking sunrise that is a plus. Will pay for breakfast, just need a few photos to throw off the scent

Kravitz wasn't sure what possessed him to reply, other than the picture the user had posted was um, very nice. And it was funny.

The person, Taako he mentioned once they started talking, had asked for a picture of him back. Almost as soon as he sent it he was starting to make plans for a fake breakfast date, and at that point Kravitz felt too far gone to back out.

So here he was at 6am on a Friday, inside of the earliest opening coffee shop they could find. Kravitz was starting to think he got stood up (which somehow felt almost as bad as being murdered) when he saw Taako come in. He didn't have to scan around long before he caught sight of him, the place nearly empty.

"Oh good you're here and don't look like a murderer, things are looking up on cha boy's end," Taako said. Despite how early it was he certainly seemed to be dressed for a date.

"The murderers we were probably supposed to run into doing this are going to feel pretty awkward when they end up trying to kill each other at the same time," he joked, getting a surprised laugh out of Taako.

"Shit yeah, that's gonna lead to a lot of awkward exchanges at the annual cyber killer convention," he said, Taako giving him a very nice smile. "But yeah, thanks for doing this, lemme spot you breakfast and a cuppa Joe and we can grab some pics," he added. Kravitz nooded, following Taako up to the counter. Once they ordered they sat back down and Kravitz hadn't actually thought any of this through. He kinda figured he'd be dead by now.

"So uh, Taako, if you don't mind me asking, " he started, Taako nodding along, "why can't you just tell your roommate you don't want to go to the gym?" he asked, a little surprised when Taako groaned dramatically.

"Ugh, because he gets all sad and whiny about how we never hang out together and how it'll be fun and naturally I have a heart of gold and will eventually give in and fucking take him for his walk like the overgrown golden retriever that he is," he explained. Their food was called up at the counter at this point and Kravitz quickly jumped up to grab it. By the time he got back Taako already had his phone out.

"Ok that's fucking Instagram worthy right there," he said, taking a picture of Kravitz as he held the platter.

"You're not actually going to put that on Instagram are you? I mean you can if you want to, I have no idea how to use the site," he said. Taako seemed to think it over for a bit before shaking his head.

"Nah, these'll be for private use only," he said, winking for good measure. Which was certainly something.

As they ate Taako snapped a few more pictures, including one of a very cutesy kiss on the cheek. It was all a little ridiculous but by the end Kravitz was actually having fun.

And when they parted with Taako thanking him profusely again for the help he almost regretted not asking for a possible real follow up date.

He was pretty delighted when Taako called him back the next day, although he wasn't expecting him to sound so panicked.

"So uh small problem, nothing to freak out about," he said, immediately freaking Kravitz out.

"And uh what's that? Did your roommate not believe you?" he asked.

"No uh, he believed it a little too well and he showed a picture to my sister who showed it to her husband and uh do you happen to work with a Barry Bluejeans?" Taako said, the words all coming out in a rush. It took a few long moments for what Taako was saying to process in his head, but when it did he felt his eyes widen.

"Oh, um, yes. Yes I know him," he said.

"Yeah so my brother in law and sister are demanding I bring you over for dinner and I figure I should warn you before you get bombarded at work," Taako said, and Kravitz had to take a moment to take a deep breath before he responded.

"Should I bring a dessert?" He asked. There was a moment of stunned silence on the other end before Taako burst out laughing.

"Fuck, keep that up and I might have to upgrade you to fake fiance," he said, and Kravitz couldn't help but grin at that.

This was fake, he knew it was fake.

But at least it was fun.

#taz #the adventure zone #taakitz #taako #Kravitz #long post #maybe ill make this a whole fic #been a while since I did fake dating

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drewbersstarkey · 3 years

Text

☆ My random predictions about OBX Season 2 based on the titles released! A thread: ☆

I just wanna say that these are just my thoughts none of these are confirmed or are right at all.

☆ THE GOLD: John B and Sarah make it to the Bahamas & locate and come up with a plan for the gold with the help of Cleo & some others. The pogues mourn John b & Sarah. Ward & Rafe head to the Bahamas and try to get the gold etc. The funeral scene we saw promo pics of is in this or episode 3. If this episode I think it’s for Sherif Peterkin not Sarah and/ or John B ☆

☆ THE HEIST: John B and Sarah try to get the gold in the Bahamas they may succeed?? Maybe the pogues find out John b and Sarah are alive. I bet we’re introduced to Elizabeth Mitchell’s character this episode. I have no clue about Rafe & ward probs up to no good. Rafe Wall punches the wall scene from the trailer maybe is this episode ☆

☆ PRAYERS: I think the funeral scene maybe here but timeline wise in my brain it doesn’t make sense? Maybe Sarah John b and the pogues reunite in the Bahamas (cuz we know jd madison & rudy we’re there ) or maybe Ward finds out Sarah’s alive and tries to say she’s crazy or something if she tries to say Rafe and him killed someone☆

☆ HOMECOMING: Sarah and John B get back to obx! Sarah and wheezie have an emotional hello maybe topper becomes a bigger part in this episode. Topper could get a redemption arc or whatever and tries to help the pogues. Rose throws a party and at it Sarah/ John B out Rafe and tell everyone in front of everyone at the party that he’s a murderer. I kinda think Elizabeth Mitchell’s character might have a game plan to get the gold?? ☆

☆ THE DARKEST HOUR: RAFE CAMERON GETS ARRESTED! Elizabeth Mitchell’s Charcter is Sarah’s real mom maybe? Could be JJs Or workin with ward & she gets the gold or helps get the gold. I honestly think Ward is going to make Barry take the blame for Peterkins murder maybe….the pogues get in trouble (that one chase scene that pics got leaked) ☆

☆ MY DRUTHERS: they take the boat to go on a search party or something because they are getting suspicious of em character. Idk I feel this may be an emotional episode. Legit no guesses. ☆

☆ THE BONEFIRE: actually have no clue :( maybe they party or something. Or maybe??? John Bs dads body floats up??? and they throw a memorial for him? That doesn’t make sense maybe ward realizeds he’s screwed. Idk no immediate thoughts with this one either ☆

☆ THE CROSS: is this a new location???? Maybe the golds hidden there or whatever they’re looking for now? Elizabeth Mitchell’s background that shows why she’s crazy? Sarah’s mom could have worn a cross necklace and she has it on leading to the possible discovery of who Sarah Cameron’s mom isn’t what she OR WAIT CROSS EXAM RAFE CAUSE OF MURDER & TRIAL AND STUFF???? What if Peterkins alive (that’d be cool & RAFE IS STILL BAD cuz of what he’s done in the past) ☆

☆ TRAPPED: in the sewer/ swamp! Or that weird car thingy chase posted on his story a while ago. I think they lose the gold or something or get put danger. Maybe Sarah gets trapped again so ward can save Rafe (I feel like ward gonna give up tho on that psycho). Something big happens ☆

☆ THE COASTAL VENTURE: the pogues try to get the gold back/ em/ward/someone else takes it away and leaves. Or the pogues get the gold and are vibing at the chateau. I don’t really know how they’re gonna leave it off for season 3 because I don’t think it can be super gold centered because I think some might get tired of it☆

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iris-westallen1 · 3 years

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SETTING BOUNDARIES

After Barry came home telling iris everything that happened while she was sick and about the pregnancy test they went to bed holding each other with iris reassuring Barry they still

have time and they are still trying not every pregnancy goes on the first try. But what Barry didn’t know was that iris was seriously mad at Cecile and plans on talking to her the next day.

‘’good morning beautiful’’ Barry says to a groggy iris as he presses kisses on her face

‘’good morning to you to’’ hmm ha-ha ‘’ Barry what has gotten to you this morning’’

‘’ can’t I just want to kiss my wife a beautiful good morning’’

‘’ But seriously this is me saying thank you for the encouraging words last night they really meant a lot’’

‘’ any time babe it's what I’m here for besides’’ iris nudges his shoulders with hers ‘’ we are in this TOGETHER okay’’ she says as she kisses him softly

‘’okay’’ Barry kisses her again

‘’So, what do you have planned for today’’ Barry asks iris as he sits up to yawn and stretch

‘’ Uhm so I wanted to talk to you first about this ‘’

‘’ what about’’ Barry said with his head forming confused lines

‘’ it’s about Cecile I really want to talk to her about showing us some respect and boundaries’’

‘’ Yeah, I was actually going to talk to you about that today we really need to set some rules with her’’

‘’ I totally agree first she shows up at the house completely unannounced saying she has a file to drop off for me and she didn’t even call me to find out if I was home, then wither using her powers to find out what you’re feeling so unprovoked, asking you what’s in your bag that was just doing too much’’

‘’ exactly the way she just went into my mind because I was in a hurry and wouldn’t let her come in and because she spotted your computer bag instead of her to just take the hint and leave, she decided since he won’t tell me I’ll just go snooping in his head for information that has nothing to do with me’’

Iris had already come out of the shower and getting dressed ‘’ that’s right so now I need to go talk with her because this can’t keep going on’’

Iris walks over to Barry to kiss him goodbye

‘’ I love you’’ iris said into the kiss

‘’ I love you too’’

Later that morning after getting her jitters breakfast she called Cecile

‘’ morning Cecile, I need you to come to my office this morning please’’ iris spoke as sharp as she could

‘’ Uhm okay I’m on my way, are you sure you’re okay I can sense that your feeling tense, annoyed-‘’

‘’CECILE just get here NOW’’ iris hangs up the phone quickly trying to calm herself from the oncoming anger from that phone call If this is how she feels with that short call I wonder what it will be like when I actually talk with her

file:///C:/Users/pearl/Downloads/iphone-VnXE.png (this is a text between Barry and iris I didn't know how to post the pic on here)

Cecile enters ‘’hey sweetie you wanted to see me’’ before iris even had a chance to reply

‘’ oh, is this about the negative pregnancy test don’t worry you guys are still young it will be happing in no time, I didn’t even know you guys were trying.’’

Iris keeps balling her fist trying to calm down but Cecile had to make it worse

‘’ sweetie why are you feeling angry just looking in your head I can feel all that anger it's just blocking everything else- ‘’

‘’ ENOUGH CECILE ENOUGH GODDAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU’’

‘’Woah iris calm down’’

Iris took a deep breath trying to reel in that anger ‘’ I called you here today to talk about the disgusting/ inappropriate behavior why is it that you find the need to go inside our heads to find out things without our permission? HmMM? You’ve been doing this for a while and we decided to keep quiet about it but yesterday you crossed the line going into my husband’s mind to find out we were trying for a baby and that I might be pregnant is not okay’’

Cecile at least had the decency of looking ashamed and that made iris anger decrease just a little

‘’ My husband went to the privacy of his lab to find out if we were pregnant something that intimates that was between him and me and you intruded on them and now you come here saying my husband and I didn’t inform you we were trying for a baby. Who gave you the idea that you deserved to know that nobody knew except Chester who caught us in the moment.’’

‘’ *gasp* you told Chester before me how could you’’

‘’ are you even listening to yourself we didn’t tell Chester but Chester being the good respectful friend didn’t say anything to anyone, didn’t bother us or invade Barry’s privacy but you did, you don’t need to know when my husband and I are going to try to have a baby nobody needs to know until we tell them, are you part of my marriage demanding intimate knowledge that doesn’t concern you.’’

‘’ and what made this worse is that you willing went with Barry to go get my testing done when he didn’t need you there at all. What if my test had come back positive huh? You would have been comfortable knowing I was pregnant before I did like who does that. That was supposed to be an intimate moment between Barry and me NOT you, me, and Barry this isn’t a throuple you aren’t in our relationship.’’ Defeated iris just seats back on her chair.

‘’ honestly Cecile this has got to stop I know for a fact you and my dad had this problem when you first got the powers you kept going into his mind you can’t keep invading people’s privacy. This was supposed to be a surprise that you get to be mama Cecile but you almost ruined that and it sucks that I’m grateful that the test result came in negative when I should be sad about that news not happy that I’m not pregnant and it's so unfortunate so what I need from you is space right now give me and my husband space don’t come near us just keep your distance when we get pregnant you can come back around and after that if you ever and I mean ever go into our heads without our permission we will cut you out of our lives regardless of if your my dad's girlfriend or not do I make myself clear’�� iris said with so much steel and certainty in her voice

Cecile gulped she hadn’t meant to cause this much trouble she just wanted to know ‘’ yes iris I understand and I am truly sorry for all of this’’ with that said Cecile turned around and left iris office.

Iris took a deep breath and let herself think again because she had to block those because of Cecile and she didn’t trust her right now but getting some distance from her right now is for the best.

Iris picked up her things and packed her bags no longer feeling up for work today she contemplated on calling Barry to fathwoop her home but she decided against it

Closing the door and putting her key on the table iris called out to Barry ‘’ honey? I’m home’’

‘’ hey sweetie’’ mwah Barry kisses her deeply ‘’ so how did the talk go’’

‘’ uh it was stressful ‘’ iris walk to go sit on the couch ‘’ but I think I got through to her, I also told her to distance herself from us until we conceive then she can come back around us I would have made it to last until we found out about the sex and if we were going to share it but since we already know I just told her until I get pregnant, she should keep her distance so yeah’’

‘’ and how do you feel about that’’

‘’ look I care for Cecile but at the moment I don’t trust her and its tiring to hide my emotions and thoughts around her all the time just because she can’t be a dissenting person and mind her business so I think this is for the best and I hope she learns her lesson from this’’

Barry sits next to her and pulls her feet to his thighs massaging them ‘’ I am sorry you have to go through this its meant to be the happiest days of our lives and I’m sorry she ruined it for us’’

‘’ We are going to be okay’’

‘’ yes, we are’’

‘’ thank you for being the best husband ever and for always listening to me’’

‘’ you, are very much welcome’’

#westallen #iris west #barry x iris #the flash #fanfic #fanfiction #westallen fic #westallen fanfiction #cecil deserves it

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yjwhatif · 4 years

Text

What is going on with Bart?! (Part 1)

Ok I am definitely the only one who thinks this - but there is something weird going on with Bart in the last episode - or more specifically post X-pit... let me explain.

Bart is a pretty underused character throughout S3 and doesn’t play any major part in the final episode, yet there’s one moment that grabs my attention every time I see it - and that’s the moment when Bart elbows Garfield in the middle of Jeffs really important speech.

Jeff: Like the Outsiders, we must live in each other’s spotlight

Ok yes that is kinda a very Bart thing to do - his way of complimenting Gar for his achievements leading the outsiders - but it’s the fact that he doesn’t react in a regretful/apologetic way when Gar calls out in pain - he just stands there grinning at his clear injured friend and doesn’t bat an eyelid. (Also, does anyone else think Bart has a really evil/sadistic look to him in this shot - because I do and I can’t help but find it odd.)

Another thing about this scene is that not only is Bart front and centre in the panning shot of heroes (which I’ll come back to in part 2) - but he is completely separated from the two people he is usually paired with onscreen - and that’s Ed and Jaime who are both placed together at the very back of the shot. Now when I say ‘usually paired with’ I mean ALWAYS - excluding ’Homefires’ (though that is the first ep to show Ed’s in S3 - so I say it still counts) Bart is either next to Ed or Jaime or both - l know because I checked.

That is until they all come out of the pit - then something seems to change with the trio, for Bart appears to constantly isolate himself from the other two...

Now you probably think I sound mad, that I’m just reading too much into it the layout (as usual) but it’s there - it’s subtle - but it’s definitely there. Like I’ve highlighted with the season as a whole Bart is usually stood with E/J - it highlights his connection to them and establishes their specific friendship in comparison to the rest of the characters. Composition is important - especially in seating arrangements.

At the beginning of ‘Into the Breach’ Bart takes the front most central seat which draws attention to him - being the speedster he is he is always running headfirst into any situation with confidence - so he is at the very front of the ship and closest to the action. Then he has Ed sat in the seat next to him - this allows for them to share a two shot and again reinforce their connection - which they definitely have (see my post about Ed’s powers - there’s a few). This quick shot tells a lot - the angle even gives the impression that Bart is closer to Ed than Vic, which increases their divide - he doesn’t know Vic or maybe trust him yet, unlike he does with Ed. While Vic seems closer to Blue because we know they’ve previously made a connection offscreen - “Bluebeetle taught me that one”.

Yet fast forward to the scene at the premiere building post x-pit and thinking they’ve lost big time - when you look close there is a definite dynamic change between the trio. Though they are still grouped together, they are actually divided - the chairs divide them - whilst Ed and Jaime share the same sofa, Bart is on his own and thereby isolating himself from his friends. But not only that, look at the way he’s sat compared to everyone else - he is the only one with crossed legs. Whilst the others all mimic the same body language - hunched over, hands on knees, legs apart - they are all united in their defeat - but Bart is alone.

Noticeable again after Vic and the others return, Bart is on his own, the furthest away from the group - he is now the one hiding at the back - which is a big change from the shot on the bioship. Something has changed for him - he can’t connect with the two people we know he cares for.

It continues into ‘Nevermore’, this time on the bioship the trio are to the back - the dynamic they last had on the ship has altered massively. Ed now sits on his own side completely separated from Bart and Jaime - this may account for his own feelings of guilt (see my Outsiders in turmoil posts) - he feels he needs to distance himself because of his own failures. Yet he is still in line with Jaime - like in the all the previous shots post pit, he remains on equal ground with Jaime. But for Bart, he is disconnected and hiding at the very back - he has lost the confidence to be front and centre on missions and with his friends - but why?

They all experienced the pit, yet Bart seems the most affected (in a subtle sort of way) - from confident and eager, he’s now isolated and hidden away. And yes, these are very subtle moments that you don’t notice - but because this is animation that makes the subtlety more important - because these are conscious decision being made and agreed upon - they are not random acting choices like in live action.

Now my final notice for this part 1 post - because this has become very long - is the scene just after Vic disappears to follow Granny - I’ve only just noticed this whilst gathering pics for this post and it’s actually blown my mind.

So I’ve always found this moment strange because to me it feels like Bart is almost blaming Ed for everything - and when you look at the shot it does look like everyones giving him evils. I don’t think that is what’s happening but I can imagine that’s what Ed thinks is happening. However what I realised this time round is that that is the real Bart we hear - not the one we’ve followed in S2&3 - but the cynical one of the future. For 10 seconds Bart finally breaks character and drops the mask to reveal his true self - the realist of the apocalypse. Maybe this is why he’s distancing himself - he didn’t come to the past to have fun and joke around - he was a kid with a job to do - and just because he’s done it doesn’t mean he should lose focus. Maybe the pit reawakened the ghosts of his past - the lives lost because of the apocalypse - the lives that could still be lost if that future still happens because he was too distracted to notice the signs.

Barts psyche has always been what fascinates me about his character - because the happy goofball we see isn’t even the real Bart - thats Wally and Barry he’s imitating - Bart has spent 3 or so years living in the guise of what he wants people to see - what he thinks they expect to see in the grandson of Barry Allen - which is mad. This is why I want more Bart - I wanna see what isn’t being shown to us - and I think the x-pit might just have unlocked that possibility. 🤞

- To be continued in Part 2 -

Other Posts:

- Ed’s Powers - ‘Into the Pit’

- Outsiders in Turmoil 1-6 can be found under the tag outsidersinturmoil

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transromanticism · 4 years

Note

any spare trans shawn hcs ? 🥺

KSKAKKSJLKSKS MY TIME HAS COME

just a heads up trans shawn is probably the most i've ever projected onto a character (no joke). also i'm gonna mention trans gus + trans jules bc yeah ✌🏼😗

when shawn was a kid he was like Tomboy™. if you searched tomboy on a dictionary shawn's childhood pics would be there. and like his parents were always like "shawn why don't you wear a dress? what about this pink shirt? let me style your hair" but they let him be all tomboyish bc he was like textbook adhd yknow. he and gus became friends over being the "weirdest" girls of the class and shawn was always fighting with girls who would pick on them bc gus hated it sometimes in really bad days it would lead to him having meltdowns (bc gus's autistic and you can fight me in that).

anyway nothing much was thought of it until he was like 12 and feelings started to happen. that's when shawn was like me? bi? in love with girls? especially gus? PFFFFFF... maybe. which is like ok whatever that wasn't so hard yknow. he looks both that's cool that's nice. gus likes both too so that's cool too. BUT THEN shawn's like uh. i don't really feel like a girl. i wish i wasn't a girl bc i don't like being a girl.

cut to 13yo shawn and he cuts his hair real short and one day someone calls him a boy and he's like :O I'M A BOY and he talk to gus about it and he gets really excited about it and can barely contain himself (gus's really happy for him and falls in love even more with shawn and he starts to question his gender too bc shawn's talking about stuff he also feels and he's like maybe? no, but what if?). shawn decides on the name shawn a little before his 14th bday and he and gus sort of become each other's safe haven bc they're the only people that know and use the other's name and pronouns.

cut to 16yo shawn and he finally comes out to his dad. gus & shawn made a pact to come out on the same night so that's what they're doing. henry is accepting? like, he doesn't get it, and he's kinda rude sometimes, but he loves his son (and his friend who's also his boyfriend). shawn knows it's not that safe for him to start transition, so he waits until he finishes hs, which ends up being another reason he leaves sb. he gets why gus's going to college, bc that's how gus wants to transition, but that's just not his thing. shawn knows he wouldn't fit in college, and it would be just a continuation of the inferno of school, so he goes away. in the 10 years, he starts taking t and get's top surgery (he loves his chest scars SO MUCH). he and gus keep sending each other postcards updating each other on their transition, and if it's a big thing that makes them really excited, they call each other and talk for hours.

when shawn comes back, he's more himself than he ever could be. for once, shawn's actually shawn. seeing gus makes me legit cry, and he can't even believe this is happening? like, he wishes he could tell 13yo shawn that's still unsure about what name to go by that a day will come where he's got a goddamn fucking beard and so does gus and they're together in love and happy being who they truly are. hell, even saying it now still sounds unreal!

which is why when shawn's called to the precinct, it sucks even more. he knows he will be deadnamed and possibly even misgendered, he doesn't expect less, and he's goddamn correct. lassiter asks for his name, and he notices he's henry spencer's kid, "yeah, that one" "uh, i thought he had a daughter", and under his breathe shawn days "yeah, he did". and when lassiter asks for his papers and he only gets a "there's no shawn spencer, sir" he gets really confused. shawn waits for some time, like he's collecting himself. he hates so fucking much already, and he hasn't even got to the worst part. barry nudges shawn and asks him to explain himself, to which he responds with a sigh and days "look for [deadname] spencer", which they do, and they thing, but lassiter still doesn't accept bc "this is a girl, and you're not" to which shawn says "some people are trans!" which leads to even more confusion bc cis people in 2006 don't know shit about trans people. thank god buzz knocked at the door before shawn started crying.

anyway shawn & gus are kinda :/ with working with the sbpd but they're also like whatever we get some money and it's nice yknow? until jules into the picture. they don't know she's trans btw and neither does she know about them initially. but one day going through files, jules's like "wait where are gus's and shawn's files? they're supposed to be here" and then she idk asks lassiter and he's like "yeah turns out spencer's trans and so is guster" and she's like :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but like on the inside so she just says "oh really? cool for them" and leaves. the next day she goes RUNNING to the psych office and she's like "WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME YOU WERE TRANS" and gus's like "how the heck did you discover that??????" and jules explains what happened and shawn's like "damn lassiter that was not cool" while gus's like "okay but why are you barging into our office asking us why we didn't come out to you?" and then jules comes out to them and shawn & gus are like "WAIT YOU TOO?" and they three become the spider man pointing at each other meme but they're excited trans people bc they just round another trans person. they become the trans trio and their wlw/mlm solidarity grows stronger. yknow that scene in the s1 finale where it's the three of them eating takeout and laughing? TRANS TRIO

anyway thanks for listening to me trans rambling about my fav hc even if this wasn't exactly what you asked for 💞 now i'm gonna first write another post where it's actually just a bunch of psych trans hcs and then add to my wip ideas "psych moments rewrite where shawn+gus+jules are trans"

#a: jmccarstairs #psych #psy: shawn #*m: au #*m: psych #asks.txt

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herbgerblin · 5 years

Photo

Two three months ago I started working on this floral irpe (plus angus and Kravitz) pic because in my head I was like “I love drawing flowers!” Cut to now, where I still love drawing flowers, but slightly less because this was way more laborious than I thought.

This took forever to post because writing the descriptions required more braincells than I had to spare. Biggest shoutout to @dualityandsuch for giving me a hella helpful list of flowers and their meanings! You’re the real mvp!

Not all the flowers listed are featured, but I think I got the bulk of them. Flower meanings and Outfit descriptions under the cut!

Lucretia: Forget me nots, Bramble (remorse), Hyacinth (please forgive me), Meadow Saffron (growing old), Mourning Bride (I have lost all), Pine (Time and faith)

Merle: Almond Blossom (Thoughtfulness), Balm of Gilead (time curing/healing), Flax (I feel your kindness), Flowering Rush (Confidence in Heaven), Magnolia (Love of Nature)

Davenport: Clyanthus (worldliness), Convolulus (bonds), Moonwort (forgetfulness), Zennae (absent friends), Stargazer lilies

Taako: Clematis (Artifice, mental beauty), Coxcomb (foppery), Fern (Fascination; Magic; Sincerity; Confidence and Shelter), Carolina Jasmine (Separation)

Lup: Sweet Pea (Departure; I am sorry I must leave), Sunflower, Bay leaf (I change but in dying”), Fraxinella (fire), Holly (am I forgotten?), Satin Flower (sincerity)

Barry: Roses (love), Globe Amaranth, Red Camellia (You're a flame in my heart), Milkwort (Hermitage), Mountain Ash (I watch over you; Prudence), Zinnia (I mourn your absence; Thoughts of absent friends)

Magnus: Arbor Vitae (devotion, friendship), French Honeysuckles (rustic beauty), Gladiolus (ready armed), White heather (Protection), Juniper (I will protect you)

Kravitz: Snap dragons, Henbane, Amaranth (immortality), Poppy (Eternal Sleep; Oblivion; Imagination), Cabbage Rose (Ambassador of love), Passion flower (Religious fervor; Devotion)

Angus: Alstoemeria, Purple Iris (Your friendship means so much to me; Faith; Hope;), Hawkweed (Quicksightedness), Verbena (Family union)

[ID: From left to right. Taako is a tanned skinned male elf with long blond hair in a braid. He is wearing a light purple wizard’s hat with matching riding pants. he wears a dark purple cape over a navy blue shirt with light blue sleeves. He wears knee-high boots that are also navy blue. He wears a crown of flowers around his head, under the brim of his hat. His shirt sleeves and boots are also decorated with flowers.

Merle is a dark skinned, male dwarf with a bushy, white beard. He wears a green tunic. He wears a light green shirt and matching trousers under it. He has on dark green boots and green fur around his collar. Tucked into his sash and hair bun are assorted flowers of white, pink and blue.

Magnus is a light skinned human man with drak, reddish brown hair and beard. He wears a dark brown jacket over a red vest, and white shirt witht he sleeves rolled up. His trousers are tan colored, and are tucked into dark brown knee-high books. He wears a reddish orange flower crown and a long wreath hangs around his neck.

Davenport is a light skinned gnomish man with bright red hair and a spiffy mustache. He wears a mustard yellow, double breasted uniform and dark brown shoes. He hands large patches of bright pink flowers on both shoulders and tucked into his hair.

Lucretia is a dark skinned, human woman with short grey hair. She wears a long, periwinkle colored, caped gown. She wears a blue and white flower crown and has large patches of flowers coming out of the shoulders of her cape.

Angus is a dark skinned, human boy with brown hair and glasses. He wears a peach vested shirt and matching socks. His shorts are navy blue and his shoes are tan. He wears a flower crown of red, yellow, and purple flowers. They are also tucked into the front of his vest collar.

Barry is a light skinned, human man with dark brown hair. He wears an all denim suit, with a darker-washed jacket. He wears a matching blue necktie and the jacket had a gold trimmed collar. He wears a flower crown. Tucked of either side of his lapel are bright red and pink flowers, which are strung together by a red cord.

Kravitz is a dark skinned man with long black dreadlocks. He wears a black and grey double-breasted suit with a black cravat. Over one shoulder is a knee-length black cape, decorated in large paintings of roses and poppies. He wears a matching flower crown. The cape is held over his shoulders by a rose shaped latch.

Lup is a tan skinned, female elf with curly blonde hair. She wears a reddish-pink corseted dress, with puffy sleeves and skirt. The sleeves and bottom of the skirt are filled with in-sewn flowers. She wears long, red strappy heels. On her hands are red gloves. She wears a big flower grown of gold, red, and yellow flowers. End ID.]

#the adventure zone #taz balance #ipre #kravitz #angus #my art #herbgerbart

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typinggently · 4 years

Note

1) unanswered text messages, a crush, a golden sunset for superbat?

Oh, thrilling request!! Thank you! I’ve been very into the whole tired-slim, black turtleneck, RobPat-inspired Bruce look lately and I haven’t had much opportunity to write something for him, so this was a great opportunity!

Bruce in general isn’t the biggest fan of giving out his actual phone number (Brucie has his own phone that Bruce curates for one hour every morning and that’s honestly all the social media and interpersonal contact that he can stand). But what’s even worse is the concept of his “colleagues” having his number. Especially now, when they all don’t know each other all that well yet. All possible things could happen.

They could make a group chat, for example. They could send him messages.

Truly terrifying concepts.

Anyhow. Two weeks in, they all exchange phone numbers. It’s not like he really has a choice. And it’s not like he can just give them the Brucie number. So with a heavy heart, he adds six new contacts into his phone.

That, of course, is only the beginning. It all gets messy from there.

At first, not much happens. There are some minor things like “I’ll be late” messages in the group chat (terrifying concept), but other than that, most things had been quiet. Until. Until one day, Clark and Hal get into a friendly discussion about cows that turns into a heated debate on cows. Bruce misses parts of it, mostly because it doesn’t seem all that important, but some hours later, Clark posts a photo in the group chat. Bruce, alarmed, opens the message only to find that it’s a portrait of three cows. It’s early morning in Kansas, apparently, and the colours are still a little washed out, even though the long cow-lashes of the cow-ladies are already tipped in gold. They’re all smiling for their portrait (as much as cows can smile) and look warm and soft, curls around their big ears and pink muzzles. One of Clark’s hand is resting on the cheek of one of the cows and she seems to be pressing her face against his caress. He looks tan in comparison to her off-white, cream colour, his hand big and gentle.

“See?” He writes, “Very pretty!”

“Such beautiful eyes!” Diana says in response.

Barry goes “very nice!!!!!!”

Hal sends a line of emojis, most of them rolling their eyes, and ends with “fine, fine”

Arthur is typing…

Bruce closes the chat and checks his alarm once more before closing his eyes, determined not to dream.

That’s how the group chat starts becoming more active. Bruce saw it coming, now he can’t do much about it.

Usually it’s just the odd message or photo here and there. Sometimes the others share newspaper articles they stumble across (Bruce saves those), sometimes they discuss restaurants or take-out places (Bruce deletes those and drinks his shakes).

But naturally, it gets messier. Because while Bruce is fine just ignoring the group chat, another most unfortunate event takes place: Clark texts him. Privately.

It happens at 4am. Bruce’s eyes hurt from staring at the screen of the BatComputer for so long and his mouth tastes like caffeine. When his phone buzzes, he blinks owlishly at it. At first, he assumes it’s a mistake and turns back to his screen, but Clark doesn’t delete the message and doesn’t send one into the group chat. So an hour later, when he’s made his way from the screen-glow dark of the cave to the blackout-curtain dark of his room, Bruce reluctantly opens the new chat. It’s a photo of the Kent farm - Bruce assumes, it might be any old farm as far as he’s concerned - at dawn. The grass is high and looks cool and wet, the house itself is still a sleepy grey-pink. But the sky is slowly warming and the first hints of gold shimmer in the windows of the barn and the leaves of the apple tree to its right.

Kal-El (or Clark, or whatever) wrote “:) since you probably didn’t get to see it!” and that’s enough of that. Bruce drops his phone and rolls around to face the other direction.

It doesn’t stop. At least once a week, Clark sends him a photo of a sunrise. Bruce never answers, but Clark apparently doesn’t care. He sends photos of the farm, the skyline of Metropolis, but sometimes also other places. The green horses drawing Victory’s carriage on the Brandenburg Gate gleaming and caressed with pale sunlight, the windows of the Eremitage flooded with gold, White Hall glowing pink. At one point, there’s the Earth itself, glowing as it turns towards the sun, light flooding the continents, the ocean.

Bruce doesn’t know what to say. When they meet in person, Clark doesn’t seem to treat him differently, so Bruce doesn’t bring it up. Instead, he just keeps his eyes on his notes or on Diana and goes through the meetings as if nothing’s wrong. About 5 minutes in, though, he feels bad. Every time. So he subtly squares his shoulders a little, causing their shoulders to brush. It’s a nice point of contact, Clark running hot even through the suit and Bruce’s Kevlar, and it becomes so familiar that Bruce finds himself standing close to Clark, too, his cape brushing Clark’s.

This goes on for a number of weeks, but suddenly, the photos stop. First, Bruce thinks Clark just missed a day, but when there are no new pictures for a whole week, he feels oddly stranded. Not that it was an actual conversation, Clark didn’t write anything after the first pic, but still, he got used to the little photos just before he goes to sleep. And the problem is, he can’t talk about it with anyone. It’s too late, if he were to explain to Alfred that he’s been ignoring Clark’s messages for one month and a half, Alfred would no doubt look at him disapprovingly and choose one or two cold words. So that’s not going to happen.

And naturally the others are no option, either. He likes Diana, but he’s not going to explain this to her.

So he’s stuck, staring at his phone, unsure what to do. Another week goes past, then Bruce can’t stand it anymore. He has to do something.

“If someone were to send you photos, what would you do?”

Dick puts down his milkshake. “You know, it was lovely talking to you and all, but I think I have to go. Right now, actually-“

Bruce shakes his head and leans over the table to take hold of his arm just before he can slip away. “No, wait. Listen.”

Dick makes a pained face. “I’d rather not, actually. I mean-“

“It’s Clark.”

“Oh.” Dick’s eyes widen. “Oh!” He sits back down. “No way. What kind of photos?”

“I don’t think that matters.”

“Oh my God. Is Superman sending you- You know what, no. Good for you, but I don’t think I want to- I mean, I kind of do want to know. But no.”

“It’s sunrises. He sends me pictures of sunrises.”

At that Dick raises a brow. “Sunrises.”

“Yes.”

“Is that a metaphor?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“What do I do?” Bruce hisses, finally annoyed by the lack of progress this conversation is making.

“Oh, I mean. Send one back?”

Bruce sighs and runs a hand through his hair, gaze lost in his coffee.

It’s been a long day. Clark’s hair is still a little crunchy with salt after he took a dip into the ocean at noon to pull up a sinking oil cruiser, but he doesn’t feel like taking a shower just yet. After dinner, maybe. He drops his messenger bag on one of the chairs around the kitchen table and wanders over to the fridge to check on the leftover potato gratin. His stomach grumbles just as his phone buzzes on the table. He closes the fridge and carries the gratin over, putting it down next to a stack of as of yet unopened mail to pick up his phone.

It’s a photo from Bruce. A library, or a study, maybe an office? A room with a ceiling so high it doesn’t show on the photo, walls covered in dark, glistening wooden shelves. Rows and rows and rows of books. A tall window through which the golden light of the sunset spills on an ornamented carpet, stacks of paper. Dust is dancing in the honey-thick light. And out of the window, the leaves of a copper beech, glowing in rosy red. “just woke up” it says and “(not really, but bats are nocturnal)”, followed by a little bat emoji.

Gold pumps warmly through Clark’s veins. He sends a “:)”.

Thank you SO much!!! This was so much fun to write!!! :) I love soft, awkward Bruce.

#drabble #superbat #clark kent x bruce wayne #DC

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iraniq · 4 years

Text

Get Well #Soon

planned part one: https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/167766473412/united

unplanned part two: https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/182277422122/avalanche

definetly haven’t even thought abut it part tree: https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/185298597332/just-kids-stuff

cought me by surprise part four: * read below *

It has been all over the news:

BATMAN GOT HIT

BAT TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM

WILL THE BAT FLY AGAIN

IS BATMAN ALIVE?

WHO WILL BE THE NEW BATMAN

It was last week or so. He stood between the blast and some people. Got hit bad. The police got him in his car, commissioner Gordon’s orders. No one saw him after.

No one had heard of anything at all, and frankly the King was getting impatient. Even his pretty wife didn’t managed to cheer him, and after his irritated attitude got the best of her, considering a teenager, 4 kids and a baby, he got a slap and was kicked out.

Next morning he sneaked in the cave. Had to take the SUV, since the Lamborghini wasn’t gonna make it. And was already taken by his sexy bitch feisty wify … anyway.

He got in. The computer screamed “intruder”, J got his code in and the whole whaling stopped. Alfred appeared, visibly annoyed.

- Alfie… man… bats is being rough at you.

- No …

- No? I look better with 6 kids. – the Clown laughed.

- Well, maybe because you don’t care for anybody and don’t know how it feels … - Alfred debated for a second and decided not to continue.

- Well… I am here to cheer him up, the kids made some “get well soon” cards.

- I bet!

- I love sarcasm, but it hurts when you say it with this British accent … yeah I know – he waved his hand while walking towards the lazaretta – that’s how English was supposed to sound, before we all ruined it … don’t waste your breath.

He saw the glass room. Knocked and opened the door.

- Honey … I am home. – he laughed – Oh wait, I forgot I live alone! … ah, classis Selena. Anyway. Came to see how dead are you. I have been feeling the need to come in the black spandex, no leather … no that’s how my wife appears … damn… she is so hot – he scratched his nose – maybe that’s why we have 6 kids, although Brandon is your fault, you were supposed to come earlier … anyway. The kids made you some cards. I will read them to you.

He got a small pink backpack from under his purple coat.

- It’s Ava’s, but don’t tell her. Twins are hitting 3, and you know how dramatic toddlers are … - he rolled his eyes – Just … just don’t have kids, ok!

He got a bunch of papers and cards.

- Ok here we go. Niq is 1st. She made a music one. It’s pop up card with sound. She played “in the hall of the mountain king” from sleeping slow, to breaking fingers fast. She is getting better at this, one day might really hit famous and rich, but you must come to all her shows.

He opened the card and put it on the night stand next to him. While beating the boss level on his phone game. When over, he closed the cared and left it there.

- Next is Em. She made a comic book one with all the activities you can do with a broken leg. I was surprised they are so much. Look, here she drew your wheel chair on a skateboard ramp, she figured, since you are so good at flying and shit, you’d be able to skate as well. Look! – he held the 7 pages comic book, slowly opening every page to the Dark Knight, who was in fact in coma. – We have cooking, piano, dress up. It was my idea, I knew you’d look good in drag. I do! El was impressed when she 1st saw me. Neeext! – he left the little comic book next to the pop up card.

He got a big The Flintstones vibe ham looking like card. Obviously it was from Brandon, the one named after him.

- That one took me by surprise. I won’t lie. When you open it … - he laughed, masking it as coughing – there is a ham … a pack of his favorite ham. … ok I must confess, the kid is not ok, he is nuts like me but he has his mom’s crazy obsession with food… hell, she eats like the end of the world, but she is still hot as it … - Joker laughed. – You have to make your game or you’ll die alone. Alfred is already tired of changing your diapers, find yourself a woman, feisty must be, otherwise you’d get bored and shoot her … no wait, that’s me. – he laughed again.

He got silent and thought about it for a while.

- She thinks she is hot now … but damn, if she gets 5-7 kg more, I’d shag her anytime … but I don’t tell her that, because then I listen about my fat fetish … but … - the machine beeped. – Yeah .. you don’t want to listen to this. Neither does she, but curvy is hot, you two are just blind, and plain stupid. Neeext. – the ham got it’s spot next to the other 2.

- The twins … they had a fight who to make the card. El said they will both participate in it … then they cried, and when she said they’d make 2 separate … then they cried again … if … kid’s can skip the toddler phase, I’d have that much more … oh! Pray for Daniel … The twins! Rose made one as a rose, obviously, she wrote “no” with big letters in green, blue and brown… I guess that’s the new trendy now. It’s philosophical approach, that’s what El said, like studying that in university made her an expert, or something; “no” as no to death or some crap like that, they suck at cards. Ava made a simple one with a lipstick kiss and burned the edges … and the table cloth as well … I have an odd feeling she’ll end up as arsonist… another one of El’s dreams I ruined with my dick making babies … but hey, I am good at that. And we have a future cannibal and arsonist, I think we go good for now!

He laughed … for like 15 min. Then put the other 2 cards on the night stand. Rearranging them so all can be easily visible.

- Ok, bats, we are at the final round. Daniel is too young to write, so El gave me one of his socks. A little batman socks, you have one of hers too, with the laughing fish. They all get the crazy sock obsession form her.

He coughed.

- I have a royal gift too. The 1st time we met, you were kind of learning how to be Bats, I threw Gordon in the river and you shot me with his gun. – he made a loud thud noise – that’s the bullet. Unfortunately you can’t use it again. But I think it’s a sexy scar. I seduced El with it once … or twice … Ugh, who counts that anymore …

He got up and positioned the cards on him, with the socks and the bullet, took a pic, took a selfie. Then positioned them on the night stand. Gave Al the fruit pie El made for him and some recipe thing these 2 were exchanging and left.

Several days later when Clark, Diana and Barry went there, they got rather uncomfortably happy with the gifts.

At the end of the month The Clown Prince of Crime got a picture message. Bruce with fake bat ears, that were from Barry, taking a selfie with the “get well soon” gifts. El insisted printing it and framing it in the library where Joker’s trophies were. From war treasures to stuff like that. Bruce too, put them in his office, where, the sonogram pic were, including “we are saving the world” selfie of theirs with the Joker was. Bruce in a way treasured his friendship with the Laughing man. Although they have been rivals, no one wanted to really kill the other.

_____________________

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