.

I wanna dommy-mommy Wriothesley. Am I amab nb? Yeah. Do I wanna torture him with petty hate sex because I am a Neuvillette simp first & second, human being third? Yes. Bark for me, boy -💗

𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇

tw/cw: THIS IS NOT SMUT BUT NO MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS PLEASE. this fic was created prior to wriothesley and fontaine’s official release! it might have outdated information. dark/yandere themes. feral wriothesley. dom! reader. reader has no specific gender or sex.

BEFORE WRIOTHESLEY WAS THE TOP DOG HE WAS YOURS. Your dog.

A pup that could only follow your orders and bark like a good boy. A young man held tightly on a leash and chains.

He did not think, he did not need to. That was your job. All he needed was to be obedient and you’d offer him the world.

That was what you promised before you suddenly disappeared.

You hated the law with all your might. Hated the authorities that imposed it on your people and yourself. Loathed the god that would judge you based on standards that were never supposed to be applied to people like you.

You were always like that Wriothesley surmised, a hypocrite.

You despised the chains and expectations yet forced it upon him without a sense of empathy. You fought for freedom but abused those underneath you for power.

So when the others told him you were gone, he should have felt happy — overjoyed.

His wretched owner was gone.

But then, he realized, he could not think.

He could not do anything. He was utterly powerless without your words. Even as he rose to the top all he ever did was follow your lead, what you did before.

He felt restless, lost.

And then you came back.

You looked pathetic. Weak. Nothing like the master he looked up to before. But he could not fight the feeling of relief knowing that you’re alive and more importantly here. Right in front of him.

“Dog. It’s you. You’ve grown.”

Your voice was dry, hoarse — tired. He heard how much his men struggled to capture you. The casualties outweighed the result many would say.

But he could not disagree even further. He was shaking, a pleasurable shiver crept up his spine. Many admired Wriothesley, his looks and demeanor. Was this how they felt towards him? A feverish sort of admiration. So strong that it left him speechless for several seconds before he could reply.

“Master.” His hands gripped the bars to your cell. If only he could break you out. Embrace you. Tell you how much he missed your scathing touch, your venomous words — you.

You stood up, legs shaky. You smelled of sweat and dirt. The scent overwhelmed him as you stepped closer and closer.

And laid your hand atop his.

Wriothesley almost crushed the bar within his fingers.

“Bark for me, dog.”

“Anything for you master.”

When I first entered the Voltron Fandom, Lance had blue eyes. It was a truth throughout all the fics I read. Coming to tumblr @autisticlancemcclain introduced me to a whole new world, where brown eyed Lance was fighting to be the norm. I hadnt questioned it before, a scottish/questionable origin of a last name and the blue theme had me easily convinced.

But with this whole new world I fell into a wonderful exploration of the love of brown and dark eyes. But my original love of Blue was so ingrained that I found myself simply combining them. My rant thing below, not very long, but my addition to the eye color thing. Cause I love both and think they can co-exist, at the very least in my head :]

Lances birth was scary. The doctors had been sure he wouldnt make it, and while his mother put on a brave face, she could feel it too. She prayed to whoever would listen.

The Blue lion, hidden on Earth for such a long time, on reserve power and far too far from a balmera crystal to be fully powered, feels the beginning of a new dawn. She knows shes not supposed to, but this is for the future- and more importantly her beautiful Paladin.

Lance is born with one Bright Blue Eye, and one Lucious Earthy Brown Eye. Lance- once old enough- buys contacts in both colors, switching every few days to confuse people. When asked he gives the most confused look he can manage, looking at whomever asked like they'd grown a second head, its his longest running joke. Students at the Garison have a running pool on which color is true.

Years later, when the Earth is invaded and lost ones return, the people see him again. When in space, one can imagine the difficulty of finding contacts- and the lack of importance of such a thing- so here comes Lance in his heterochromatic glory.

Except this is not the Lance with watery blue eyes or cocoa brown ones either. His Blue eye is like ice, an otherworldly color, a viel, and his Brown eye is deeper than any mudden brown one could dig up from this Earth. But Lance isnt the only one with new eyes.

Beside him, the Hero, the Legend, Shirogane Takashi. People who know his posters like the back of their hands, or had watched him florish in the program, stare in awe as once sun warmed dirt, has turned into a void not unlike those in space. Deep and tired, ageless and old, but oh so kind, a tint of michieviousness remains.

But they do not stop there, these are not the eyes of those they had lost, but ones who had to find themselves over and over again. On rainy days and nights, a blue eye ripples like a clear puddle. A black eye flashes bright and in time with every stroke of lightning. It is otherworldly. It is not of Earth. It speaks of volumes they will never hold.

Because one does not leave this plane and return the same.

I finished my fic with this theme and I did the brothers reacting to this. So how could I, an undatables enthusiast, not make this? It took a while but it’s here. Some brain cells were involved in the making of this post,,,, I guess?

MASTERLIST

How the undatables react/pursue you after Diavolo cheats on you while married

Diavolo:

Why is he here? Well you see-- why not

In the human world some believe that the ultimate proof of love is giving the cheater another chance, fighting to salvage a relationship

In all honesty, Diavolo never expects that from you, nor does he hope such a thing can happen

He curses himself for a momentary weakness. A prince, a ruler, so easily swayed and influence does not carry any nobility or respect

He may be the most influential, the most powerful- but he starts seeing himself as weak

He hides away from his thoughts in work, in new holidays, in friendships and partnerships and in excuses

He tries not to give those thoughts space to grow

But, the damage has been done

Diavolo’s worst enemy and worst critic, the one who judges him the most is himself

He knows that with this one deed (some may call it a momentary lapse in judgement) he has undone all the work it took years to build

He knows that falling into temptation is the biggest mistake he has ever made; especially because he cannot bear to have you hate him when he loves you so much

Diavolo has no guts to admit that after what he did, he believes he has no right to claim it face-to-face

So, he randomly visits Lucifer to see you, ask about you. He tasks Barbatos with keeping you safe. Little Ds are ordered to make your life easier without being noticed

Because of what happened, he doubts that he deserves the place and title of a King

And, you notice that the most- in the smiles, in the speeches, in the doubt and guilt that radiates off from him

The only way to salvage this and get back together lies with you. If you, after so much time can forgive but not forget. If you can wish to grow into a union once more.  

He goes along with your wish for divorce just as quickly as he goes for your wish of reconciliation.  

He does not force you, he respects whatever you decide.

Barbatos:

Probably the one which would provide the most material for gossip and speculation, in theory

In practice, it’s like a 500k slow burn romance

Here is why; Barbatos is a man of duty and loyalty to the person that hurt you. He finds no amusement in being the center of gossip nor does he wish for you to go through the dirt. Devildom is such a cruel place, you cannot even imagine what could come your way if the relationship was established early on.

Besides, it is even hard for you to not have Barbatos remind you of Diavolo once the relationship first breaks

Babratos gives you time to heal and move on before he does anything which can show his romantic interest

He knows how charming you are, he knows your habits and he knows that he must be patient before a true connection can be established

So, how does it happen? Well, after healing from Diavolo you naturally, through fate or the wonder of time, need to spend some time in the same circle

Obligations, work and friendships bring you together in a weird way

The balls and parties are something you must attend and because Barbatos knows you, he knows just what you like

The perfect place for you to sit which is neither too warm nor too hot, a place far away from people you do not like in their world but close enough so that you do not miss anything important or fun. For some reason, it always smells like your favorite scent too

The perfect place, the perfect tea, the delicious food with small hidden notes which do not give away his intention but do show his affection  

It just grows more and more unbearable  

The lingering stares, the short but warm goodbyes, the way his hands just brush against yours for a moment longer than usual when he takes your coat

It creates a magical attraction inside that long game, which, as expected, Barbatos is better at than you

You try to find him alone and, in those moments; inside the kitchen or under the stairs while everyone is far away dancing, it becomes just the world of you two

His tone is warmer, he is more direct. You sometimes, inside such short pauses, are able to exchange warmth. In conversations, in the longing looks, in the way his hand holds yours. In the way he gently takes your wrist, puts his hand on the small of your back to guide you back inside a world which is overabundant in fancy but doesn’t feel meaningful without him in it

Sometimes, it can even hold a soft kiss

But, it becomes torture. Enough is enough. His privacy starts to seem like secrecy to you for all the wrong reasons. As a human, you aren’t patient enough to wait 4 years until something, anything happens  

So, you seek him out at the next party. They’re too rare in your opinion now. You seek him out and find him on the stairs as he goes to complete another task.

Bravery or foolishness, it does not matter which of the two makes you stop him. Makes you ask him; when? When will this secrecy end?

In reality, it doesn’t really matter. He would probably kabedon you on the stairs (as a true gentleman! don’t get it twisted!)

He holds time itself in his hands and yet you asked him.  

He whispers: “All in good time, my love. All in good time.”  

And leaves you like that.

So, what is the good time?  

It is already the point where you forgot about Diavolo but; has Diavolo forgotten about you?

That is what Barbatos waits for. He sees no need to ask his lord such a thing. Diavolo notices it himself. How could he not? Diavolo also knows that he does not love you anymore.

So, the next time Diavolo comes to the kitchen and sees your favorite tea (the one he never drinks) he gives Barbatos the permission, the freedom to go pursue you.  

After all, it is time.

Simeon:

The most empathic out of everyone.  

The best choice even

Why? With him, you would only feel compassion and care.

Gentleness.  

There is no drama that could follow you when you turn to him.

He has not sworn loyalty to Diavolo. He is not his partner. He lives in a completely different realm.  

It is really the exact change that you need. At first, it seems so odd because you are used to a completely different world but; it is comfort. It is care. It is everything that helps you heal

In truth, Simeon’s instinct gravitates towards that. It gravitates towards making sure that you heal in all aspects. Physically, emotionally- most importantly- your soul should shine like it used to

After you start that process it brings long conversations where you two ponder over what it means to live and love. You discuss theories and opinions. Simeon has loved longer than you, he has seen countless love stories- he even wrote some.

This process can even inspire him to flesh out a new character

In actuality, Simeon warned both Diavolo and you with masqueraded words about what marriage truly means before you got married

So now, he doesn’t say ‘I told you so’ or ‘Why didn’t you listen to me’. He just hopes that you won’t grow to hate the whole institution and tradition that marriage is

And honestly? Simeon shows you unrequited love so, how could you ever think that with him?

Here, you will be the first to realize your emotions and you will probably need to act on them first as well

Solomon:

He is somewhere in the human world, inside a secret room of an abandoned castle just thinking of new spells when he gets a text from Asmo about what happened

Dramatic as fuck gasp while his potion drops to the floor and now the floor is pink

Solomon, with all the years that he has been alive, with all the pacts and mistakes he has made- still is more human than the rest of them

This does not mean that he will be the best at comforting you but he already packed the most important things to go and see you. Is that not enough to show immediate care?

Instead of comforting you by himself he spends time in the House of Lamantation, working with the rest of the brothers  

Time has passed, you both have changed so it takes a bit for him to get familiar with you again and to work out your habits

Probably tries to joke like: “Even if that red tree branch offered me to make a pact with him I would refuse for your sake.”

It shows that, despite all the flaws and morally gray actions, he stands on your side- not his

But, life inside that house has to move on. He can’t really stay calm and tied down to it for months and as he is preparing for his next trip- he asks you to go with him

It is a true change of pace. You will experience new things you never dreamed of. He can teach you magic. He can show you places in the human world full of it

He promises to make sure that you are safe

So you set off with him

It is a grand adventure. It holds both comfort and new things that only make you grow.  

It holds his teasing as well but he never lets anything bad happen to you

He realizes his affections before you but you are so busy taking in the world’s wonders that he keeps them a secret for just a while longer because you are so excited. Your eyes shine and he just knows you have new stories to remember and uncover at the same time

You don’t realize yours until Solomon makes it clear to you, in a sly way.

You stand outside of enchanted ruins. The sky is bright blue with pink lines. Solomon says: “And who would have thought that one of the most powerful witches got cheated on by the man who allegedly enchanted this ruin when he was young? Hmm?~”

And really, who would? You realize then how that did not even cross your mind. How could it? Here you are with Solomon on another adventure that sparked more love as the sky dances for your new story.

Luke:

Has it been years since you got married? Yes

Has Luke grown to love demons? Absolutely not. Are you kidding me?

He throws his little hat to the ground when he finds out

Never trust their kind.  That's what he says

Sure Diavolo had a noble goal once but after this? Once Luke’s good opinion is lost it is lost forever

Baby is very dramatic about the whole thing

How dare that evil creature hurt you? Luke was teary eyed at your wedding and he is teary eyed the next time he sees you  

But

He tries his best. He really does.

He doesn’t have wisdom like Simeon. But he asks him for advice.  

Best believe the only way Diavolo will taste one of his treats again is if Luke yeets it in his face 

Firstly, tumblr better fix their tags because it is unbearable! Now you may ask; yooo why is Barbatos’ so long? Cus thats my boo and he is the main reason I decided to write these reactions in general

Do you have advice for new fan fic writers wanting to start posting?

hello love! 🥰 absolutely! tbh I still feel like a new writer myself considering I only started writing when I made this tumblr which is a year ago, and especially because my blog hasn’t grown as much as others, I feel like I’m still learning all this stuff myself too! 😊

this might be a little bit long bc I’ll be relating to my own experiences and what I’ve learned :) any writers please add on if you feel I’ve missed something! 😋

firstly, write what you want to write! don’t force ideas/requests.

your best work will come when you’re writing something that you’re excited to write. if someone sends a request, it’s okay to say that nothing is coming to mind, or think on it and come back at a later time (I still have requests in my inbox from like 7 months ago and they’re developing into full length fics (think 20k+) because I liked the idea and wanted to give time to it and now I’m really excited to write them too! that said, sometimes forcing ideas has worked for me (talk slow for example), but it’s how you feel in the moment. (now see how I linked my work just there, that is shameless self promo bc u might decide to check it out — remember this for my last point ;)

take your time! if you’re stuck, come back to it a few hours/days/weeks/more later.

following on from the first point, taking your time can be one of the most valuable things to do. sometimes all you need is a little break to figure out the missing piece from your work. if you’ve got writers block, work on a different wip/take requests, whatever works for you.

if you’re struggling to stay motivated, try: making a playlist/moodboard/banner for your fic or read something instead of writing!

pretty self explanatory, but sometimes we need visual creativity to come into play and help us craft our world so we can write it in words. and reading other fics can help you when you see the way another writer writes — their style/format, and I’ve noticed that almost every writer on this app has something unique in their writing that I can’t always put a finger on, but when I read it, it literally makes me go “yeah, I wanna go and work on my fic now.” — that I can’t explain 😂

make your blog pretty!

this is more to attract followers but it’s also very pleasing for you to see yourself! :) have links in your bio, a header, a theme for desktop tumblr, and most importantly, a masterlist!!!! I wish I’d done this earlier lol, my tumblr was trash for a while 😔

make friends! join networks!

this is a social app — use it to “network”. I can guarantee you’ll meet some amazing people and they can be a great motivation/support when it comes to your writing, whether that’s boosting your fics by reblogging, or encouraging you while you write, or even beta-reading for you. also, discord is always filled with wild conversations lmao.

space out your content!

say you get two fics written in two weeks and you don’t know when your next one will be/it’ll be at least a few weeks until the next one, whatever it is, I’d recommend spacing it out. post one fic first, and when the exposure on that starts going down, then post the second one. and queue your rb’s — remember we’re all on different time/schedules so at 2pm on wednesday you might be asleep while I’m awake, or one week you might be busy on a saturday but another saturday you’re scrolling through tumblr, so, my last point….

reblog your own work without shame! it’s yours, be proud of it! I’m still learning to do this myself but rb’s are important so do it :) + self promo!!! if someone is asking for recs, send your own fic! I have and I’ve been embarrassed to do it but they asked! but don’t do it if they’re not asking bc some authors don’t like it, it can feel forceful/ uncomfortable for them to say no.

I hope this helps somewhat!!!! have a lovely day anon and good luck with your writing! ❤️

Fools

[[zuko x reader]]

->next

Summary: Zuko and Y/N had liked eachother for a while even though neither of them knew it. Y/N tries to get over her crush for him, failing miserably. So just when she decides to let go and embrace her feelings, the new Fire lord finds himself feeling jealous and decides to take matters into his own hands

A/N: this is the first Zuko/ATLA fic i’ve ever written, so go easy on me plssss, i just finishes the show a couple days ago (a little late ik) and ever since then i’ve been OBSESSED with this man (if he’s too ooc pls let me know) . This is set a while after the coronation and it’s an AU where zuko and mai were never a thing. Hope y’all like this <3

ps: this may get a little long, i’m writting this before i finish it but i get a feeling it’s gonna be a long one so be prepared lol also it will most definitely have a pt.2 if y’all like it.

Warnings: Angst but it’ll end well i promise, swearing

-IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONT HESITATE TO ASK-

Things after the war ended had been chaotically peaceful. Turns out that leading an entire nation, specially when it was the one that caused the war, and reuniting the lands that had for so long been against eachother was harder than all of you thought. The fact that a group of teenagers were the head of the operation wasn’t a big advantage either.

Sure, Aang and Zuko, who were the ones who had the most important positions when it came to politics and diplomacy, had advisors and people around to help guide them, but it was still a hard job. Nevertheless, without a war or fighting, you were sure it was good for the entire group to keep busy. They’d kept a lifestyle of always moving around and being on guard for so long it would’ve been a big shock to be forced to stay still after that.

Katara and Sokka travelled back and forth from the Southern Water Tribe to the Fire nation a few times, not too often though because of how far apart the two were. That was a shame because of how close you’d grown to Katara and her motherly self, her advice and her unconditional friendship, and even to Sokka and his bad jokes, his way of teasing everyone and how he could make you smile even when you weren’t in the mood, you even missed how mad he made you sometimes. Suki went with them to spend some time away from everything, she loved her life as a Kioshi warrior but she decided she needed a break after everything she had gone through.

Aang, on the other hand, was traveling all over but mostly between the Earth kingdom, were he would very often meet with Katara, and the Fire nation. You got to see him way more often than you got to see Katara, Suki and Sokka, although he tended to be busy with avatar business. He was doing a great job, you had to admit. The people loved him, he found a way to spread his teachings and the teachings of the Air nomads to the world and uniting others helping them put aside their differences seemed to be his thing now more than ever. But most importantly he seemed truly happy, one time he even told you he finally felt like he was making all the air nomads proud, wherever they were.

Toph still wanted to be away from her parents, so she refused to go back to the Earth Kingdom. She hated the cold, not being able to use her seismic senses in the snow and being bossed around by katara, so she refused to go with them too. So when you offered her to stay with you, she accepted. She made it seem as though it was her last choice because she had to keep her tough girl reputation, but actually she liked you a lot, she saw you kind of as a big sister. You took care of her in a way no one had before, not seeing her as helpless and weak but still being there for her when she needed you. Though she’d never tell this to anyone aloud.

And Zuko was still Zuko, just that now he was a Firelord. He took his job very seriously, determined to prove wrong everyone who had said he was too young or too weak for it. He knew the big responsibility he had in his hands and he seemed to be doing really well. He had his moments, of course, where he would have outbursts of emotion and anger, but he always found his way back to being who he needed to be for his Nation, and you always helped with that. He was the one who suggested you stayed in the Fire nation as a representative of the Northern Water tribe. You were hesitant at first, but after thinking the idea over you realized you had no business up in the tribe, you’d been away for a long time and you weren’t ready to go back just yet.

The two of you had never been incredibly close in the time since he joined the gaang, but you couldn’t denied there was a connection between the two. You got his humor and he got yours, you could tease eachother all day without getting butthurt, you could open up and talk about deep stuff under the stars on a sleepless night, and spending time with him seemed easier to do than with most people. You’d brushed this off as the two of you being good friends for a good while, even after you moved into the palace and started to hang out with him more, but for the past few weeks it’s been getting harder to do.

Every time Toph, him and you ate lunch together and he sat in front of you, you couldn’t help but end up staring at him, not in a weird, creepy way but in a ‘I’m mesmerized by you why am i mesmerized by you and since when are your eyes such a beautiful shade of gold’ way. You were in denial about it but deep down you knew you were starting to have a crush on him, and eventually Toph caught up to it too.

One night after diner she pulled you into her room, closed the door and said “Listen, Snow queen, I’m kinda tired of your heart going crazy every time mister flaming pants is around so you either get over your little crush, tell him how you feel or I will personally snitch on you directly to him, understood?” You didn’t even have the guts to deny it to her, specially since she’d know if you were lying, so you just heavily sighed and looked at the floor. She must’ve felt bad for you cause she took your hand and dragged you to sit on her bed to interrogate you about the situation.

“Out of anyone you could’ve ended up liking I never saw this one coming” she told you taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed

“Don’t get me started” you threw yourself back to the bed and stared at the ceiling for a second before speaking again “Like how dumb do I have to be to crush on someone who isn’t only probably the busiest man on all kingdoms right now, but also royalty and... well Zuko. He would never like a girl like me and even if he did, he probably has to end up with a princess or something.”

“I’m not letting you drown in a pity party here, ok?” Toph pulled your wrist and forced you to sit back up and look at her. “He’s lucky a girl as decent as you is willing to put up with that temper of his and how annoying he can get. Now what are you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing?” You replied in a low voice not taking a second to think about it. Toph punched you in the arm in response “Hey, what was that for?”

“What I said before still stands, I can’t deal with you being all flustered every time he’s around, so get over it or tell him how you feel.” She spat and all you could do was grunt and throw yourself back into the bed

So you were gonna get over it then. Easy task. Never done anything easier before.

It wasn’t.

Turns out that by trying to avoid Zuko at all costs you ended up stumbling into him even more. Around the corners, in the hallways, everywhere. The plan was to just avoid him as much as possible until eventually your feelings faded away, you couldn’t have a crush on someone you didn’t even see right? Wrong. Even when you weren’t around Zuko he was still on your mind. You tried to go to the palace library and distract yourself with literature, but reading romance books only made you feel more miserable and the only other option there was were war strategy books which you weren’t very interested in. The next distraction you chose was gardening, you loved nature and you were a water bender, it was the perfect task you thought, but once again you were wrong. You turned out to be such a bad gardener, Kya who was the one in charge of the royal gardens (and who was the sweetest lady) ended up banning you from messing with her flowers ever again. The last thing you could think of to stay away from Zuko was feeding the turtle ducks. It seemed like a good idea and on the few occasions you’d been in the pond before, the little animals seemed to be very fond of you. You couldn’t mess this one up, anyone could feed the ducks, but there was a little problem as it seemed to be the theme of that day, the Fire lord had forgotten to tell you that the pond was his place of choice when he needed to clear his head.

You didn’t even notice he was there until you heard his voice behind you. “Keep feeding them like this and they’ll get obese”

You jumped a bit out of surprise and turned around to face him with your palm pressed to your chest. “Spirits, Zuko, don’t do that to me, you’re gonna kill me one of these days” It was a bright and sunny day, the heat of the Fire nation weather made his face glimmer a little, his hair was up held by the royal Fire lord hair piece and he was wearing a version of his formal attire made for a hotter weather, leaving his muscly arms on display. As soon as you realized you were staring once again, you turned your attention back to the pond in an attempt to hide the blush that was slowly conquering your cheeks.

He took a sit next to you and waited a couple seconds before breaking the silence. “Hey... um... I don’t know if this is just me but you’ve been acting weird lately, is everything ok?” He asked looking at you.

“Everything is fine, definitely just you.” you replied not taking your eyes away from the shining water of the pond. The ducks had grown tired of waiting for you to keep feeding them and swam away.

“I... don’t think so. You didn’t come to breakfast today, everytime we’re together you seem to wanna leave as soon as possible and right now you can’t even look at me.” He paused before taking in a deep breath. “Did... did I do something to upset you?”

You finally turned around to look at him and the look you saw in his eyes was heartbreaking. Ever since he joined Team Avatar, Zuko had been making a huge effort to be good. You could see how sometimes he struggled to pick being kind and gentle over being erratic and explosive, and you also knew that had a lot to do with his childhood. But he had been doing such a good job at it, specially since he became Fire lord, he was so much more friendly, better at socializing and overall improving. And right now it was clear to you that you had made him feel like he was failing at being a good person and he’d somehow messed up with you.

You turned your body around slightly and put a reassuring hand on his knee before saying “Oh, Zuko, no. You haven’t done anything and I’m not upset at you, I mean that. It’s just...” coming up with lies and excuses had always been your strong point but having Zuko there making you ridiculously nervous wasn’t a factor that helped. “I.. uh...I’m getting a little homesick, you know? With Toph gone most of the day and you busy, I’ve been feeling a little melancholic about my home, but it’s nothing I promise. I’m just trying to find something to do with my time.” You we’re impressed with yourself with this one, it actually sounded pretty convincing.

You thought you had the situation handled until Zuko spoke again a few seconds later. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized until now with all the chaos of being Fire lord but I asked you to stay here and represent the Northern Water tribe and I haven’t even given you time out of my day. I haven’t been the best host, have I?” Before you could even reply he widened his eyes and said “I have an idea, tomorrow I’ll take the day off and we can go on a small field trip to this cabin my family has on the ourskirts of town, there are some nice fields and it’s very peaceful, we’ll have a picnic lunch there and just relax. You can even ask Toph to come with. How does that sound?”

He looked at you expectantly and you started to look for reasons to turn him down, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It was true that you hadn’t had much time to spend with him ever since he took his position, and in all honesty, crush or not you really did miss him. Your weakness for him won the battle and you ended up accepting the plan saying it was a great idea. The regent stood up from his place and assuring you he’d have everything ready for the next day he left.

You really had messed up this time.

—————

The next morning you put on a flowy, flower-print dress. It was classy but at the same time comfortable and light enough to handle the summer weather. You had nervously been looking at yourself in the mirror for way too long now. Before dinner the past night you at least had hopes that Toph would come with to the field trip and she would help you contain yourself when it came to Zuko, but of course that wasn’t the case. When he had brought the topic up at the table Toph limited herself to look at you knowingly and say “You know what? I happen to be very busy tomorrow, you know, I’m trying to get a name for myself in the Fire nation’s fighting scene and I have a fight tomorrow, sorry.” You knew she was lying because she had told you about her fight but instead of the next day it was three days from then. All you could do was look at the little devil and make sure you wrote a mental note of getting back at her as soon as you could.

So here you were, minutes ago from embarking in a field trip with the person you were supposed to avoid, and you had no idea how you were gonna get out of this one.

A knock on your door startled you and took you out of your worrying thoughts. A few seconds later a maid’s head popped in as she said “Lady Y/N, Firelord Zuko and the carriage are ready for you.” You took a deep breath and walked towards the door while replying with a soft “Thank you, Yun”

The carriage waited for you in front of the palace and so did Zuko. He was already inside, sheltering himself from the unforgiving sun, so you startled him when you hopped inside. “Y/N, you look...nice” he complimented you, a faint blush running through his cheeks making him gain a more childish and youthful look.

“Thank you, Zuko. Likewise.” You responded attempting to stay as calm as you could. You hated that he had so much power over you.

He ordered for you to be in your way before the carriage started moving swiftly. Your eyes flowed to the window, looking out at the capital city of the Fire nation. “You’ve done a great job leading this people. They look... so happy.” You drew your eyes back at Zuko as he stared at you. It was you who was starting to blush now.

“I hope so. I’ve done everything I’m capable of to change the old ways of this nation. I hope I’m making the right choices.” A worrisome look took over his eyes as he let his own attention drift towards the streets.

“Hey” you called to him as you stretched your hand to cover his. “You’re doing just fine Zuko. You’ve done so much for these people and all the other nations as well, I’m sure you’ll do even more good.”

He faintly smiled at you as a response and you could tell that although he did worry about the future, your reassurance helped.

The rest of the ride was spent pointing out the animals you saw on the road, sharing childhood stories about when Zuko and his mom used to come here when they both needed to get away from everything, and a bit of teasing about how Zuko had no idea what to pack for a picnic and had to ask the head chef of the kitchen for help. Luckily you had become friends with chef Karou in the time you’d been living in the palace and he knew your taste rather well.

When you finally arrived there was no sight of the usual movement and noise proper of a big city, the air was filled with the peculiar scent of flowers you couldn’t recognize just yet and grass. In the distance at your left you could see a small cattle of Hippo cows and Komodo chickens. And at your right a long field of grass and flowers that seemed to go up in a small and almost unnoticeable hill.

You and Zuko stepped down the carriage just as a guard handed him the picnic basket. The tall regent turned to you and ordered “Follow me, I wanna show you something”. You did as you were told, being led by him all the way up the hill until you were at the very top. When the two of you got there your breath was taken away by the beautiful view you had in front of you. A huge field of flowers layed gracefully at the end of the hill and extended far enough that it connected to the horizon.

“This is...” you started but were so taken aback by the view you didn’t finish your sentence.

Zuko seemed to understand regardless and replied “I know.” Behind you he started to set up a cloth for the two of you to sit on. You forced yourself to remove your attention from the field and place it on what was going on behind you. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the cloth you helped him take out all the items chef Karou had packed for you. When you were done you looked at Zuko and said “Thanks for this. It’s really nice.”

“No need to thank me, I’ve been leaving you alone so much time lately. I know aside from Toph I’m pretty much all you have here so take this as a ‘Sorry I’ve been a terrible friend’ offering.” He smiled wide expecting you to do the same but that smile faded away as soon as he saw the expression on your face.

‘Friend’

The word echoed in your head as your eyes dropped to the food you had in front of you. Of course he saw you as a friend. You had almost convinced yourself you should confess your feelings to him and he goes on to call himself your friend. A knot in your throat started to form and you did your best to show it as little as you could. But you obviously failed.

“Everything ok?” Zuko asked tilting his head to catch your eyes.

You looked up and faked a smile. “Yeah... just thinking how far we’ve come.” You lied through your teeth before continuing. “Anyways, enough of all the cheesiness, I’m starving.”

“Agreed” He replies picking up something for himself. You chose a small salty biscuit with a mix of meats on top and decided to distract yourself with it. “Chef Karou said you’d like that one. He also said you hated onions and peas. What type of weirdo hates peas?”

You chuckled a little, the feeling that oppressed your chest fading away quickly. “I do. They’re disgusting and if you like them I don’t trust you.”

Zuko laughed loudly before remarking “Its not like I like them, Y/N. It’s just a weird thing to be picky over. They’re peas, they don’t really taste like anything.”

You widened your eyes and quickly swallowed the bite of biscuit you had taken. “What do you mean they don’t taste like anything? They taste disgusting and they are mushy and just... gross”

Zuko replies with another laugh. His laugh made you feel warm inside, it could make you forget about everything, Toph’s threats, your previous plans and even the now faint voice poking the back of your mind telling you to be careful or you’d get your heart broken.

The two of you kept eating and chattering at the same time. You’d finished the salty food and it came time for the desert. Chef Karou had made a type of cake and stored it inside a small glass jar. You tried opening the lid but it was too hard. You heard Zuko in front of you offering you help but you refused it telling him you could do it on your own. After a couple minutes of struggling , Zuko took your deep sigh as a sign of defeat and scooted closer to you. “Here, let me.” He took the jar from your hands and quickly opened the lid, handing it back to you. You looked up expecting to find a smug smirk that felt way to familiar to you at this point but instead you found his serious face dangerously close to yours.

You took the jar back and set in down. “Thanks” you muttered softly and quietly. His only response was to slowly but firmly raise a hand up to your face to put away a strand of hair that had fallen. His touch sent shivers down your spine. All thoughts of caution escaped your mind as you felt his face so close you could feel his warm breath mixing with yours. The tension between you seemed to almost be to much to handle when you thought you saw Zuko lean in a little. Before anything else could happen, one of the guards that had come with and stayed back where the carriage was spoke. “Firelord Zuko”

The golden eyed boy dropped his hand from your face and turned around to face the guard. “Have they not taught you to not interrupt people when they’re talking privately?”

“I am very sorry, Firelord.” The guard bowed in sign of respect. “But we have just received a messenger hawk with a letter from the palace. The Avatar and you other friends are here.”

Flower Fields, Ch 1

Summary: Season 7 of Hermitcraft has begun, and their newest and youngest member, Tubbo, is more than ready to prove himself in the eyes of his friends. New memories are made and friendships are forged, but old ghosts from the past still linger, and Tubbo will soon discover that fate has a way of letting things come full circle.

Notes: This an fic idea I legitimately came up with yesterday, based off of @give-grian-rights ‘s Watcher!Tubbo and Watcher!Tommy AU (I hope you don’t mind! I just loved this idea). I wrote this a single evening, let it sit for the night, and decided to publish it today. I hope you guys like it! Just to note, I haven’t finalized a title (or plot, besides some major points) yet, so if y’all have any ideas, let me know!

Chapter 1:

I'm not yours, and you're not mine

But we can sit and pass the time

For a moment, he floated in darkness.

Then in the next, he was falling through the air.

He didn’t fall far, thankfully, and his impact was cushioned by another body right underneath him.

Tubbo groaned, blinking against the bright rays of the sun as he tried to adjust from the darkness that had just encompassed him. He shifted, feeling rough cloth underneath him, and realized he was lying on someone.

“Oh! Sorry!” He exclaimed, swiftly moving off the other. He looked down as he saw a man with dark brown hair, a beard, and a leather jacket sit up, rolling his shoulders with a wince. “I think I spawned right on top of you, xB.”

xBCrafted just chuckled, pulling himself up to his feet. Tubbo followed him, cracking his back as he went, and looked around, trying to discern where he was.

Ah, man. It seemed like they had spawned on a small, sandy island, that was, worst of all, completely devoid of trees. Already it was crowding with the arrival of the other Hermits, with a few more pairs repeating the same situation as he and xB, spawning one on top of the other in the enclosed space. In the distance, he could see a large mooshroom island looming above the waves, but besides that there was nothing in sight.

“Looks like we’ll be going for a swim today!” xB chirped as Iskall spawned a foot or so away from them, landing face-first in the sand. “X wasn’t lying when he said we’d have a tricky time starting the Season.”

“And here I was hoping to stay dry,” Tubbo sighed as Iskall shot up, spluttering sand in the air. The two of them laughed at his sorry state.

“Very funny, you two,” the elder man grumbled. Iskall85, or Iskall as he was commonly known, looked considerably older than the two friends, perhaps in his early thirties. He had semi-long, scraggly brown hair and a cybernetic eye, as well as a green sweatshirt and brown vest.

“Oho, is that Scar?” xB exclaimed. Tubbo followed his gaze, and sure enough, a man in a purple bathrobe and dyed-white hair had just spawned, half in the water. Ah, GoodTimesWithScar was an odd one, alright, he thought with a laugh.

“What did he do?” Tubbo giggled. Scar turned towards them, seeming to hear his comment, and put his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, Tubbo,” he announced semi-solemnly. “The wizard life has chosen me.”

Iskall nearly cackled at that, throwing his head back, and xB and Tubbo joined him. Trust Scar to find new and creative ways to start the season! Tubbo made a mental note to drop by in a few weeks and see where this new bit got him.

“Looking good, Scar!” Stress said, coming up behind him. The shortest of the Hermits, she wore a pink jacket and kept her straight brown hair short and to the chin. “How’re you doing, Tub?”

“Great!” Tubbo chirped back. “Excited to start the Season right.”

“Let me know if you need anything, love,” she added, clapping her hands together. “That goes for all of you! I’d chat for longer, but Mumbo and I have some plans we need to discuss. See you all in a bit!” And with that she was gone, hopping over to the other side of the island. Scar went right on her heels, jogging over to Cubfan135 (a balding man in a lab coat around Iskall’s age), who was standing next to Mumbo Jumbo.

Tubbo scanned over the rapidly growing group of people, grinning once he caught sight of a flash of black-striped yellow armor in the crowd. 

“Hey! X!” He called out, waving. A man fully covered in armor, painted to resemble a bee, looked over to them. Through his vizor, Tubbo could see the corners of his brown eyes crinkle in the tell-tale sign of a smile, and he approached the trio. “Love the outfit!”

“Thank you, Tubbo,” XisumaVoid replied, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m quite liking your new design, too.”

Tubbo fought back a blush, looking down at himself. Like the elder man, he’d changed up his usual outfit to celebrate the newest mob addition to Season 6, the bees. He’d changed into a yellow jacket with black stripes on the sleeves over a gray shirt, as well as black pants with a yellow stripe down the sides. 

“Alrighty, I’ll be leaving you two to your father-son bonding,” Iskall cut in, waving a hand as he walked off. “I’m going to go catch up with Keralis.”

“Oh, will you stop with that!” Xisuma said good-naturedly as Tubbo really did his best not to blush. xB laughed again. Iskall just whistled, walking over to where Keralis, a man in his late thirties in a blue shirt and jeans, had just spawned. The server’s admin turned back to Tubbo. “Sorry about that. You know how he can be.”

Tubbo just shook his head a bit, trying to suppress a smile. Ah, it’d been far too long since the Hermits had all been in one place like this. He’d missed the action of it all.

He, Xisuma, and xB chatted together for a few minutes as everyone spawned in and caught their bearings. It seemed everyone had big plans for the Season. While he and Xisuma had gone with a bee theme, xB was apparently planning to really Hermit out the season, far away from spawn. Scar was certainly embracing the wizard part of himself, and rumor had it BDubs and Doc were going to be neighbors, which was a recipe for disaster and, more importantly, funny stories. 

“Okay, everyone!” It was Keralis’ shout that drew the twenty-some players out of their respective conversations. Almost unconsciously, they’d formed an oval around the perimeter of their tiny spawn island. “Intro time! Let’s go, X!”

“What? Why me?” Xisuma protested, but Keralis just laughed and took his place back in the circle.

“C’mon, admin,” Tubbo teased him with an elbow to the side. Xisuma sighed, rolling his shoulders, then stepped out into the center of the island.

“Alright everyone. Welcome to Hermitcraft Season 7! Go!” He clapped his hands together and dashed back towards the shore, the circle immediately breaking up as the Hermits split into their groups and dove into the ocean. Tubbo laughed as he waved goodbye to xB, who took off in a different direction as he went to follow X.

The water was nice and lukewarm, and soon enough Tubbo was backstroking over the ocean. He looked up at the bright blue sky, and smiled.

~~~~~~~~~

They spent most of the first day collecting supplies. 

As it turned out, both FalseSymmetry, Hypnotizd, and ZombieCleo had decided to go in the same direction as he and Xisuma, so they ended up gathering their first bits of wood and stone together. Then there was some issue with the server that caused Xisuma to have to dive deep into the server code, in the open, at midnight, so their first night went without much sleep and with a lot of mob fighting instead.

“Well,” Cleo said the next morning, twirling her axe as Tubbo set to cooking some meat for breakfast. “That could have gone better.”

“I think the first night went just fine, thank you very much,” False shot back, sharpening her newly-minted stone sword. “I’m going to be honest, though, I’m not used to going out at night without an elytra. Or armor. Or a decent sword.”

“Hey, but did you see how many mobs I killed?” Tubbo put in, pulling out some pork chops and tossing one to Cleo. “I’m a god, I tell you.”

“Yes,” Xisuma replied. He was still sitting on one of the beds they’d made, and was double checking some of the code. “God of giving me heart attacks.”

“Not my fault you messed up part of the code! I saved your life!”

“I’d suggest you remember who bandaged that arrow wound, kid.”

Tubbo’s hand flew to his shoulder, where his jacket was torn slightly, and he blushed. “I’m not a kid!”

Everyone turned and gave him a flat look, and Tubbo blushed harder, looking down. It was no secret that he was, by far, the youngest person on the server. Most players were in their late twenties, like False and Impulse, to their late thirties, like Scar and Doc. Even the youngest before he’d arrived had been Mumbo and xB, at 24 and 19 respectively. At just barely 16, Tubbo was, well, a child compared to them.

Loathe as he was to admit it. It had been hard enough in the beginning, when he’d arrived unexpectedly at the beginning of Season 6. No one had been expecting any new players to join that Season, much less a mentally scarred 14-year-old, and he’d ended up being coddled for the first six months or so. Heck, he’d lived with Xisuma until he’d grown so tired of it he’d had to run off and make his own base without asking him, because the answer would have been no.

He was perfectly capable of living on his own! It was just… well, Tubbo knew he wasn’t as good as the others. He couldn’t make the huge, rolling complexes or over complicated redstone machines that did everything for you like the other hermits did. Of course, it made sense; he had a lot less experience and was still learning these things. But it didn’t help the fact that the others, well, they didn’t look down on him, per se, but they were always a little too willing to help, a little too protective. 

“Sure,” Cleo was drawling teasingly, drawing him out of his thoughts. Tubbo snorted and looked down at his breakfast with a shake of his head, starting to eat. 

“Oh, let him be,” Hypno put in, grabbing some food for himself. “I remember being that age. Young and ready to take on the world. At least he doesn't have any creaky old bones. I’m already feeling my back in the mornings.”

“Alrighty then!” Xisuma announced after a moment of silence, rising from his bed and closing the admin screens. “Looks like all the post-spawn bugs have been taken care of. I’m ready to head out for the day.”

“I guess this is where we all say goodbye, then,” False replied, twirling her sword. “I have the best idea for my base this season, but I gotta go north from here.”

“Tubbo and I are heading east.”

“West for me,” Cleo put in.

Hypno just shrugged. “I figured I’d wander for a bit before settling down.”

“No planning?” Tubbo asked, then grinned, glad for the change of subject. “I like your style, Hypno.”

The bandana-ed man inclined his head at him with a smile. He wasn’t a new player to the server, not at all, but from what Tubbo knew he hadn’t been around for a few years. Prior to the last few days as they’d prepared to jump Seasons, he’d hardly even heard of the man before, and thus didn’t know him too well.

Xisuma clapped Tubbo’s shoulder, eyes crinkling from that helmet-obscured smile of his. 

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Tubbo whooped. “Bees, here we come!”

~~~~~~~~~

Perfect.

That was the only way Tubbo could describe the place he’d come across. He sat in the branches of one of the tallest trees in the area, looking out to where the forest he’d been traversing ended and the plains biome, scattered with flowers in small patches around, with gentle hills rolling even further in the distance.

It was an idyllic location, and perfect for his plans for the Season.

Another day had passed, marking it Day 3 of Season 7. After that first somewhat disastrous night, he and Xisuma had separated from their initial group and travelled to find a base together. Xisuma had decided, for some reason, that he was going to build his base in the middle of the jungle, so they had set up camp there for the night. Come dawn, however, Tubbo was ready to go and scout for a place of his own, and with a promise to check in with Xisuma every day or so, he’d set off that morning.

It was early afternoon, now, and honestly, Tubbo was pleased with how quickly he’d found his spot. It was only a half-day’s journey, while walking, from Xisuma, so once he’d gotten elytra he’d be able to visit whenever he wanted. Besides that, news had it that Keralis and Beef were only a little ways out, which would be fun since Tubbo didn’t know them too well.

Humming quietly, Tubbo reached into his inventory and took out the only belonging he’d taken with him from Season 6－a medium-sized notebook, filled with sketches and notes on what he wanted to build and how to do it. Last Season he hadn’t been ambitious enough; Tubbo had started late thanks to living with Xisuma and then had focused on just having a base of his own that by the end of the season it had looked puny compared to the many buildings his friends/guardians had made.

He wasn’t making that mistake again. Tubbo had grand plans for this Season’s megabase, and he was going to make sure it blew everyone else out of the water.

Okay, maybe that was an over exaggeration. But Tommy had always said to aim high.

His heart twisted a bit, as it always did when he thought of his old friends. Back then, he’d known people his own age, and Wilbur and Techno had rarely held back against him when they’d interacted with him, whether through words or PvP.

He wondered how they were doing; it’d been almost two years since he’d last seen or heard from them. He wondered if they’d moved on.

He wondered if they knew he was still alive.

Tubbo shook his head, chasing the depressing thoughts out of his mind. He’d found himself thinking of his old friends less and less over the last year and half, as he’d settled into life in Hermitcraft and begun to heal from what had happened to him. Not to say he didn’t miss them, that he wasn’t missing something in his life, but, well. Even though he thought of them every once in a while, the numerous letters he’d written to Tommy, unable to be sent, had been left behind with Season 6, in a way of really starting anew.

Doc had explained it best. Life moved on, and sometimes it was best to just hold onto the old memories and work on making new ones.

He’d taken that advice to heart. Tubbo flipped open his notebook to one of the middle pages, holding it out and comparing his sketch to the open plains before him.

Yes. This biome would do quite nicely.

Season 7 was going to be something great.

Hello, are you still make request fic? Teen Tony and Teen Sharon, highschool AU, doing prank together, and get scold by Aunt Peggy No need romance, just want some platonic/family relationship

It should be stated that pranks were highly discouraged by many at Phillips High School unless you could pull it off successfully and no one could guess it was you. 

The school was very thorough in investigations. 

Tony and Sharon had grown up with stories of the pranks from Aunt Peggy, who used to be the principal. She scowled when she told the story of how only one prank hadn’t ever found a culprit, not until the criminal had graduated and announced three months later that it was her. 

The name had been Hela, and she had completely repainted the gym walls a neon green that looked terrible. She had also added glow in the dark stars that spelled out “Eat Shit” on the ceiling, which had been discovered after an unfortunate “Under the Stars” theme for homecoming. 

Tony and Sharon wanted to do something that was mostly harmless. It would actually probably be funny. 

But he needed Sharon to come to school with him. 

This involved him actually waiting for school. He made up the excuse of “I need more socialization with people my age in order to navigate through life successfully.” While his father hadn’t been happy about it, Tony had set up a monthly subscription to a psychology magazine for his mother. 

(Which wasn’t so much an actually recognized magazine as his friend Bruce testing out his academic writing skills.) 

Point is, Tony is one year older than Sharon, and so the plan begins his sophomore year. 

Perfect attendance. Perfect grades. Sucking up to the teachers is a given. He’s the lovable class clown that you just can’t manage to send to the office. He gives every teacher a giftcard on Teacher Appreciation Day, and says hello to everyone who works in the school. 

Sharon is the social navigator. She quickly becomes the most recognized name in school by her sophomore year. With her proficient skill in basketball and her easy way of striking up conversations, she goes on dates with football players and has girls’ nights with cheerleaders and teammates alike. 

Everyone knows them. They’re nice people, won’t be suspects of a high school prank. After all, they love their school. 

One summer, Tony even gets a group together to repaint the gym walls from the neon green to a color scheme of white and blue, with little pops of red. School colors and all that. 

Tony’s senior year, the plan gets put into motion on the first day of school. 

First night, actually. 

You see, their whole plan is to plant a garden that makes a rather tasteful image from aerial view, aka the third floor. 

(It’s going to be actually fine. It’s just going to be a middle finger extended.) 

The courtyard is in between the administrative offices and the lunchroom. It also happens to never be on video, because it’s outside and thus not attention grabbing. The school usually lets someone else plant flowers for the springtime. 

Except for this year. Sharon has been practicing Maria Hill’s tone of voice on the phone and cancelled the usual plans. No one knows about it, Maria just thinks they’ll call later. 

Now, this plan is all about timing. It might not work out. 

But it does. 

- 

It’s freshman Miles Morales who discovers it while bored in his biology class, staring out the window. 

“Whoa, what the fu--” 

The halls are swimming with gossip. Many people are already ruled out, the plan either being too complicated or totally not their style. 

“Someone did the senior prank before I had a chance to?” Wade Wilson whines. 

“You were everyone’s first guess anyway,” Gwen says, rolling her eyes. “Wade, come on. You wouldn’t have been successful. A failure to roam the hallways.” 

“I don’t like it when you point out the fact that you’d be right.” 

- 

The investigation launches. Peggy is still kept in the loop by students who come over with Tony, like Steve or Natasha. 

“I don’t like this one bit,” Peggy sniffs. “There’s not suspicion of anyone? At least with Hela, we could see it a bit.” 

“None whatsoever,” Natasha says. Her mood has soured quite a bit. She’s usually fantastic at detecting. But then again, she was not aware of the early start that Tony and Sharon had. 

Currently, the two were celebrating the success of the prank with ice cream. Sharon was laughing as Tony looks at pictures on various people’s social media accounts. 

“I cannot believe we pulled that off,” Tony says. “More importantly, I cannot believe that the woman who gave you all those flowers did not ask you what it was for.” 

“I had a story set in place just in case,” Sharon says. “I can’t believe Peggy hasn’t called us yet.” 

After all, it was directly Peggy’s inspiration. 

She had told them about secret messages in flowers. What meant what, according to an old book her own grandmother had had. 

They...well, they took creative liberties. 

- 

It’s not until officially Tony’s graduation where he makes his valedictorian speech about “blooming with all of the school’s resources and successes” that Peggy’s eyes narrow and Sharon tries very hard to contain a laugh (and mostly fails). 

“You two are in so much trouble when we get home.” 

- 

They aren’t, not really. Peggy is more impressed with Tony and Sharon’s dedication, and promise that they have promising careers in whatever field they choose. 

But Peggy does scold them for the shape of the flowers. 

“You made it into a rendition of...of that?” Tony snorts. 

“A dick, Aunt Peggy? Yes, yes we did.” 

“Language, Anthony.” 

“I heard you say worse on the drive home,” Sharon defends, laughing as she takes another sip of evening coffee. 

Peggy shakes her head, smiling. 

“Well, at least you are done with your pranks. Now I’m onto you, Sharon.” 

Sharon shakes her head. 

“This was enough to wipe me out, Aunt Peggy. Don’t worry, no yearly prank from me.” 

(This was a lie. Carefully concocted, believed by everyone. Even Tony. Sharon had started planning this since her eighth grade year when she was supposed to be focusing on writing a speech about the failure of the Titanic. 

Point is, this is actually how she meets Steve Rogers, a new transfer and far more interesting and troublesome than previously thought.) 

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

A Shot in the Dark: Chapter 3 (Author’s Commentary)

(Read the fic here)

General Notes:

The final chapter! I don’t have too many general notes for this one (though the passage-specific notes below the cut stretch on for miles--there was just a lot going on in this chapter lol). But I will say that this is my favorite chapter of the three. It’s what the previous two have been building up to, and it really is the “heart” of the story, so to speak. That, and I finally got to make Glitter Wings Nari canon to The Immortal Bonds! (picture below the cut) I genuinely teared up a little bit while writing a couple of these scenes. I don’t know if that means they are very good, or that I was just absolutely exhausted after cranking out the first two chapters, but maybe you can be the judge. Friendly reminder to go listen to the song “Protector” by City Wolf if you are so inclined. It was a huge part of what inspired this story, and now that all three parts are published, I feel like it perfectly captures the theme and feel of A Shot in the Dark as a whole.

Passage-Specific Notes:

“...Please, Nari, I would not be doing my duty as Douxie’s...as your friend if I let you run thoughtlessly into this kind of danger.”

Another small line of dialogue that means a lot to me. I didn’t see Archie as making the instant connection with Nari that Douxie did. I think it took him a while to see her as anything more than “Douxie’s Ward.” He was always kind to her and took care of her, but I think it took him until now to realize that he had grown to really love her as part of the family. So the fact that he corrects himself here reflects that realization. I think under normal circumstances, the moment Archie finds out Douxie is in trouble/hurting, he would dive headfirst into hell without a second thought in order to help his boy. But because Nari is now also under his protection--and more importantly, now that she also has a special place in his heart--Archie has to force himself to slow down and come up with a plan that will keep BOTH of his kids safe. 

The phone rang once--twice--six times. Then it went to voicemail.

Nari lowered it with a look of pure dejection as Claire’s pre-recorded voice cheerfully told them to leave their message after the beep.

I felt like calling Claire for backup was the most sensible thing they could do in this situation--but I also needed Nari and Archie to take on Project Rescue Douxie by themselves, in order to reinforce the family bond these three have. The moment when they all reunite at the end wouldn’t have had the emotional impact I was angling for if there had been others present. So I had to pull a tiny plot contrivance and make Claire unavailable. I didn’t feel the need to explain why she doesn’t answer her phone (people miss calls all the time) but my personal theory was that she was taking a nice relaxing shower and couldn’t pick up the phone. (look, I need SOMEBODY in this story to be having a nice time lol). 

“By Ambrosia’s Gleam...” Archie breathed. A pair of dazzlingly beautiful wings reflected every light of the city back at him as Nari folded and unfolded them experimentally. They were unlike anything the cat had ever seen in his long life, vibrantly colored with rich shades of green and gold, glittering like morning dew, yet delicate as a newly budding flower.

Anybody remember last week, when I said the Most Self-Indulgent part was yet to come? This was it lol. I don’t remember when I started imagining Nari with sparkly butterfly wings, but back in early October, I drew this:

and I have been absolutely enamored with the idea ever since (but also it was a convenient way to get them to the warehouse without having to go through the ordeal of walking/taking a taxi/busting out the flying boat). So yeah. Nari’s Glitter Wings are canon to The Immortal Bonds series now. I have spoken.

He had no idea how long he had been enduring Rivan’s torture. It may have only been a few minutes, or it may have been a few years. Hell, he was getting to the point where it felt like this excruciating ache in his bones had been there his whole life. He tried not to sob as Rivan slowly pulled his magic back to himself, the agony abating for just a short moment of sweet relief. Douxie sucked in gulps of air, desperate to replenish the oxygen that had been ripped from his lungs by his own screaming.

First time really writing whump, so that was...something (I was exhausted after just the one paragraph lol). I tried to keep it as vague as I could because I don’t want anybody coming to my fic expressly for a graphic torture scene and nothing else (I don’t do the hurt-no-comfort thing, and I don’t want anybody to use my fics as such). But putting Douxie through a bit of hell does make the ending SO much sweeter. And if he hadn’t been experiencing pain, Archie and Nari probably would have taken longer to decide to come to his rescue. But there is still a part of me that detests every letter of that paragraph. 

The small dragon let out a roar of fury and leapt at Rivan, his form twisting and expanding into that of an enormous black panther. The two crashed together in a flurry of red sparks and tearing claws.

Archie turning into a black panther and going to town on Rivan is also a bit of self-indulgence. I just really love big cats, and black panthers especially are beautiful, mysterious, and powerful creatures that just SCREAM Magic and Otherworldliness to me. (also I really want to draw Panther!Archie now).

He slammed against the concrete with a yowl of pain that tore Douxie’s heart into a thousand pieces, and dropped to the floor, where he lay quivering and heaving.

That line right up there 👆 is the most heart-wrenchingly painful thing I have ever forced myself to write. 😥

Nari grabbed Douxie by the shoulders and pulled him upright. One of her hands reached around him and pressed against his heart, and he felt her aura slam into his. Instinctively, his soul opened, and he let her magic pour into him, filling his veins with the warmth of a hundred suns, wrapping around and tangling with his own magic so tightly that he could barely tell whose was whose. Nari’s voice filled his head, drowning out every sound in his ears, every thought in his mind. My magic is yours. Use it. He threw both of his hands out and felt power unlike anything he had ever known surge into his palms and explode out of his fingertips.

So this ties into a headcanon of mine that, while Nari’s magic isn’t well-suited to direct combat, she is able to augment Douxie’s powers. But this scene is also probably the culmination of every relationship-building moment I have ever written for these two. I established in A Moment to Breathe that to let someone interact with your aura in this way--to basically channel their magic directly into you--requires a great deal of trust. Douxie let Nari heal him in that story, but that was after she had asked permission to pour her magic into him. Here, she doesn’t have time to ask--she just has to go for it, and Douxie’s trust and familiarity with her is so intense at this point, that his response is to immediately surrender completely to her power. Not only that, he is so familiar with her magic, that he is able to use it himself--he combines it with his own power and casts a spell that Nari is likely unable to use herself. I intended this moment to be a representation of the way family relationships can shape and empower you. You carry elements of the people you love with you wherever you go; their influence, their stories, their love for you--it all helps shape you into the person you are. And these things are often so deeply intertwined with your own personality, that it becomes impossible to fully separate them. 

They had risked everything--the fate of the world, even--to save him. He should have scolded them. But instead, Douxie suddenly found himself overwhelmed with the ridiculous urge to cry.

This was the reason I wrote Douxie in Distress--and also one of the reasons I wrote A Shot in the Dark at all. I wanted him to experience being stripped of everything that made him powerful--useful-- and then witness his family risking literally everything for him. Not for his powers, not for what he can do for them, but because they love him. This poor, sweet boy gives and gives and gives, and the world has done nothing but take from him, and I have said “ENOUGH.” I wanted the serotonin of seeing him realize that he is valued and cherished for himself, and BY THUNDER I WAS GOING TO GET IT EVEN IF I HAD TO WRITE 9000+ WORDS FOR IT. 

She pulled back a moment later, roughly drying her face on her sleeve, and untied the black hoodie around her waist. She draped it around Douxie’s shoulders with her magic, and he sighed contentedly as the warm fabric settled around him. He slipped his arms into the sleeves and closed the garment around himself gratefully, giving Nari a tired, heartfelt smile.

I didn’t realize it when I initially drafted the story, but Douxie’s hoodie is actually a really nice visual representation of how he and Nari pass the role of caretaker/protector back and forth. Douxie is wearing it for the first half of the story, when he is acting as Nari’s guardian/brother. Shortly after he lends it to her though, he’s captured by Rivan, and Nari takes on the role of protector in turn. But yeah, originally it was just “Them trading the hoodie back and forth is pointlessly cute and I wanna do it.” (Poor Archie has to be the Adult 100% of the time. He doesn’t get a break).

Most of Douxie’s mornings began with the harsh, clattering sound of his phone vibrating and whistling next to his ear. But that Sunday morning began with a deliciously warm silence. Douxie’s eyes blinked open slowly, finding sunlight lazily shining through the windows. He was lying on his side, with Archie’s soft, familiar body tucked against his chest. A gentle warmth against his back told Douxie that Nari was curled up beside him, wrapped in her own little cocoon of blankets, her back against his. The ache in his bones was gone. He was nestled safely in the warmth and love of his small family, the world outside and all that occurred within it nothing more than a distant echo.

Wrapping his arms around Archie and pressing his back more firmly against Nari’s, Douxie closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

This final scene wasn’t actually in my original outline--originally, the story ended with the three of them beginning the long trek home together. But I felt that the story needed just a little extra time to savor in the happy ending. And so, it came full circle--ending just like it began, with the dawning of a new morning. I noticed that I spend a lot of time in this story comparing the mornings of different characters/days. I think that might have been a subconscious expression of my belief that every morning is the beginning of a new opportunity--to strengthen bonds, to do good in the world, to just live for another day. Douxie’s Saturday morning started off a little rougher than he wanted--he woke up early and had to rush around to get ready for a long day out on the town. And wouldn’t you know it, his Saturday ended pretty badly too (though I think he’s probably just grateful he got to go home in one piece haha). This Sunday morning plays out in the exact opposite way. It’s quiet, peaceful, unhurried, and full of hope. Douxie’s been through hell and back, but he survived long enough to see another beginning. And I think that’s the beautiful cycle that all human life follows. There’s pain in life, darkness and hopelessness, but if you can hold on, strengthened by the love of the people you hold dear, you will always find a new beginning waiting for you on the other side of the valley. 

...And that’s it. Thank you to everyone for reading my work. Seeing everyone who enjoyed it, hearing from you guys in the comments, knowing that I was able to give someone a good story--it really does mean the world to me. So again, thanks for joining me, and I hope our paths cross again soon. 🤗✨

April Event: Danny Johnson | The Ghostface Edition!

Back to the Blue

Pairing: Danny Johnson x Reader

Word Count: 1367

Theme: Angst

Warnings: Dwight gets bullied to shit. So does the reader a bit :/

This is actually chapter one of a fic I’m writing so 😳 pretty much GFace and the Reader knew each other before comin to the realms.

The snow crunches under his feet as he slinks around the lodge, his face hidden behind the ever screaming mask, its pale surface a stark contrast against the darkness of the wood. The flames in the center of the room do nothing to help either, as its light casts dramatic, looming shadows around the lodge, emphasizing on the frigidity and loneliness the walls hold. Most of the furniture is torn and tossed to the side,dried blood caked on top of the cushions. Even with the disarray of the main hall, the building serves as a base of sorts, for both killer and survivor during these trials; outside of them, it serves as a rally point, despite the claim that the Legion holds over it. The more friendly killers have been known to make their ways towards the Lodge, desperate for any semblance of company in between trials. 

As for the survivors, many have died within this building, and many more will continue to do so.

The Ghostface crouches, leaning from behind the cover of the ledge as he observes the survivor hastily repairing the gen, his back to the stalker as he continues to work, muttering quietly under his breath. The Ghostface holds back a chuckle, flexing his fingers around the handle of his knife as he maintains his position. ‘A few more moments,’ he thinks to himself, ‘it’s about being patient.’ The boy secures the last wire into place, the generator whirring to life as he stands, a satisfied grin creeping onto his face.

The Ghostface grins as well.

A terrified scream tears from the survivor’s throat as Ghostface lunges, tearing the back of the boy’s shirt open. Stumbling, the boy falls, knocking his face onto the concrete below, a tooth cracking in the process. The Ghostface takes ahold of the opportunity, stabbing his buck knife directly into the survivor’s back, a stream of blood spraying onto his hands. The boy sobs, attempting to crawl away.

“Where do you think you’re going, Dwighty?” He chuckles, stomping onto Dwight’s back, forcing the survivor back onto his stomach. Dwight merely groans in response, already dizzy from the blood loss as well the slight concussion from earlier. The Ghostface’s grin only widens as he falls to his knees, straddling Dwight’s back. In a fluid motion, he stabs the knife back into the boy’s back repeatedly, Dwight’s screams echoing in the lodge. Satisfied with the damage, he raises Dwight’s head and adjusts the camera into position. 

“Say cheese!”

Dwight’s only response is a dripping mouthful of blood, the crimson pooling onto the floor. The Ghostface releases his hold on Dwight, ignoring the crack that comes from the boy’s head. He open’s the camera’s gallery and selects his most recent masterpiece. The Ghostface nods, satisfied with the picture. He rises to his feet, giving Dwight's corpse an extra kick for good measure. 

“That’s what you get for not saying cheese...spoilsport.” 

A bang sounds off in the distance, drawing the Ghostface’s attention immediately. He chuckles, dark and low, crouching as he exits the lodge, heading towards the source of the disturbance. The shadows help hide him as he makes his way over, his coat’s tendrils flowing behind him like wings. He hears the generator being worked on and gets into position, ducking behind a nearby boulder. He peeks from the side, focusing his attention onto the two survivors working away.

“--’s not your fault. You’re still new, so we can’t expect you to immediately get it. You’ll get better.” Ash says, completely unaware of the killer’s presence. The Ghostface bites back a smile as he tries to get a better look at the other survivor. Realizing that they were on the other side, he falls back behind the boulder, locking his gaze onto Ash’s back, building up the adrenaline to down him instantly.

“Still. Thank you for helping me. I wish we could have helped Dwight. Are you sure there’s nothing we could’ve done?”

The Ghostface pauses a moment, his eyebrows furrowed behind the mask. Ash’s response falls deaf on his ears as he leans back a little, perplexed. Why is he hesitating? Who is this new survivor and why do they sound so familiar?

The generator lights up and the Ghostface snaps out of it, choosing now to strike. He springs from the shadows and leaps onto Ash, pushing him to the snow, raising the knife.

“Run, kid!” Ash yells, stopping the Ghostface’s hand for a moment, just enough to let the other escape. The Ghostface pushes harder against the man, the knife scraping the edge of his throat. He’s about to break through, about to end it here when a thunk rings out, close enough for him to turn his attention towards it. 

No.

The new survivor stares at him, mouth agape in horror as they stumble backwards, away from the vault they had clumsily swung over. The knife comes to his side as the Ghostface stares back, a terrified expression hidden beneath the mask.

Ash scrambles out from under the Ghostface, shouting something at the other survivor before disappearing into the lodge. Both killer and survivor stare at one another for a moment longer, and Ghostface takes a step forward towards them, only for him to freeze when his name leaves their lips.

“Danny?” 

Danny shudders, a tremor shooting along his spine as he lowers his head, forcing his gaze downwards, avoiding their face, and most importantly, their eyes. The simple whisper of his real name has him breathless and for the most fleeting of moments, the Ghostface is human.

The shrill siren of the final generator being finished rings out and the Ghostface returns, snapping his head up only to find the clearing empty, the scratch marks of the survivor beginning to seep into the snow. Cursing under his breath, he crouches, stalking towards the nearest gate, a dangerous tilt to his movements. Despite the cold being practically nonexistent here, thanks to the Entity, he can’t help but shiver.

Jane releases the switch, the gate groaning as it opens. She ushers Ash in front of her, with the other survivor flanking the end. Ash crosses the threshold, the fog swirling around him as Jane follows, disappearing into the darkness. Lastly, the survivor hesitates, glancing over their shoulder, as if waiting for one final confrontation.

The Ghostface laughs bitterly. “Idiot.”

He leaps onto them, ignoring the way his heart clenches at their scream, and he stabs the knife into their shoulder. They sob and clutch at the weapon lodged into them, a string of incoherent words flowing from their mouth. The Ghostface digs the knife in further, a horrific wail echoing the walls of the gate. As if satisfied with the amount of damage dealt, he tears the weapon from the wound, earning a garbled groan in response. They blink tears away as they squint up at their assailant, a look of pity crossing their face.

“Danny--”

The same tremor shoots up his spine and furious, the Ghostface yanks their head up, slightly wincing at the pained whine they emit. With a snarl, he presses the knife against their throat, reveling in the way their breath hitches, a terrified tilt to it. The scene is all too familiar, all too intimate. 

The two remain in this position for a moment, almost unaware of the world around them, as if they have returned to the sleepy town they had grown up in. If Danny thought hard enough, he could almost smell the shampoo they were fond of using. He wonders if they’re thinking the same; he wonders if they see Danny rather than the Ghostface.

A crack resonates and the entity’s tendrils shoot up from the ground, impaling them, an anguished cry tearing from them. They sob the Ghostface’s name, begging for comfort, for anything before they’re silenced, the Entity dragging their lifeless corpse down below, leaving the Ghostface alone. He stares at the space where they had been moments before, flexing his fingers along his side. He’s almost relieved that the Entity had come when it did; he knows that eventually, he would have let them go.

The fog creeps in, and the Ghostface closes his eyes.

happy ffwf! what’s your oldest work for your current fandom? newest? how has your style changed between writing them? -ambivalentmarvel

happy ffwf @ambivalentmarvel !!! thank you for the ask; you're the best ♡♡♡

my oldest work for irondad is Unconscionable, which is my Villain!Peter au (kind of). i describe it as "canon depictions of vigilantism meets Leverage". my newest is the lock on the door (will not hold), which is my "something's going on with Tony" fic.

i feel like i've grown a LOT as a writer just in the 7 months since i first published Unconscionable. it hasn't been that long, but i've written a lot of words in the interim, and evidence of that has definitely carried through. i think my voices for both Peter and Tony have evolved, and more importantly, my sense for the types of stories and themes i want to explore has become much more acute. i still love Unconscionable (and i AM going to finish it), but my style has definitely changed and (hopefully) improved since it was first published.

thanks again so much for the ask!!

Let’s take a break from specific fandoms to talk about:

Platform Wars

In 2020, we’re all asking what’s next after Tumblr. This is nothing new. “Is thing X killing thing Y?” is a question fandom has been asking since long before Escapade. But these panels offer comfort and insight into our current fear of change.

They’re also fucking hilarious.

So, without further ado, here are some past Escapade panels on the subject of Change Is Scary:

1997 - Effects of the Internet on Fandom & Slash (On the upside: more fans, more conventions, more excitement and a 24-hour party. On the downside: are the connections more shallow? Are the changes made to "fandom as we knew it" change what we enjoy? Do print fans have something to fear? Or is this simple another wave?)

2000 - Less is More: Gluttony & the Decline of Quality in Fanfic

2004 - Amusing Ourselves to Death (Fannish Discourse in the the Age of the Internet By sheer quantity, has the quality of our conversation declined to predominantly static?)

2004 - LiveJournal, Boon or Bane? (Has the advent of LiveJournal brought about the demise of mailing lists? Has it splintered the venue for discussion to the point where it's impossible to have meaningful conversation? Is the LJ phenomenon just one big egotrip? Come join us to discuss these and other questions.)

2007 - Is F’locked the New Black (Is the flocked post the future of fan communication? Are we returning to the dark ages of closed lists, zines under the table, and "have to know someone"? More and more LJ posts are locked, communities are closed, and groups are invitation only. Is there a way to protect our RL selves (and our fannish selves), yet share our fannish commentary and fic? How does this all look to a newbie? Where is our new comfort zone? And how do we keep track of all of this?)

2008 - The Organization for Transformative Works (The Best Thing Since Ever, or the End Of Days? The OTW is an incorporated nonprofit organization established by fans to serve the interests of fans in multiple ways, including by providing open-source archive software (and an archive), legal assistance, and various efforts to preserve the history of fanworks and fan culture.)

2011 - Delicious - Rumors of Death Greatly Exaggerated? (Delicious, fandom's favorite bookmarking site may be getting shut down (or at least sold out) by The Man. What to do?)

2016 - Fandom Is Fic: from BNF to TL;DR. (From paper through Usenet to Livejournal, text was king. On Tumblr, long text is an imposition—isn’t it? Has fic been dethroned from its place at the top of the heap and fic-writing BNFs along with it? Discuss the dirty little social dynamics of the shifting patterns of fannish value and how we define 'fandom' itself. And what of zines and zine eds?)

2017 - The Kids Are Not the Problem (In recent years, media fandom has grown enormously. It has also scattered, spreading out to new platforms and meeting spaces. You often hear talk about "the kids" vs. "the olds," Tumblr vs. LiveJournal, or the problem of recruiting and retaining new fans. In this panel, let’s try flipping that script. If kids are not the problem, how can we change and grow? What awesome things are other fans doing/trying that people at Escapade should know about? Most importantly, what strategies can we use to leave our fannish bubbles and more fully experience fandom in 2017?)

2019 - The fall of tumblr (Fans have always looked for a good place to build communities on line. Recent events with Tumblr and other platforms like Facebook are restricting our gathering places and even blocking and purging our self-made content. How are people dealing with this? Fandom will survive, but where? Come discuss the problems and options out there.)

And below the cut, a whole bunch more panels on platforms and change:

1991 - Quality Control in Zine Publication/Economics of Fandom (Who is making money in fandom? Should they be? How accountable are fans? Editors? Artists? Have you ever written an LOC?)

1993 -  Supply and Demand in Fandom (Can we have too much of a good thing? How many cons or zine is too many? Are we glutting the market?)

1994 - Changing Nature of Fannish Communication (E-mail, and virtual zines, computer video editing and morphing -- all the new toys at our disposal...)

1996 - Internet—Will it eat your brain? Or take you to the poorhouse? (Nearly everyone has or can get access to a computer and thereby the Internet and the World Wide Web. What's out there for fans? What should you look for? What might you want to watch out for? How can you protect your pocketbook at the same time?)

1997 - Net Fiction & Print Fiction (Is the very existence of net fic changing the characteristics or reducing the quantity of print fic? Are there really stylistic and/or content differences? What makes some shows predominantly produce netfic, while others happily generate both? How do the barriers of access to each affect the fan community?)

1997 - History of Fan Socialization (Was fandom really different in the "old days"? Was there a feeling of community that we're missing now? Or is that just nostalgia clouding our memories? In today's net-connected fandom, what is (or should be) different? And what elements of the past should we try and retain?)

1998 - Professionals: Is the Circuit Dead? (Or has it just moved on-line? Is Pros fandom split on the subject of the internet? Many old circuit writers don't want anything to do with the new on-line library. They have objected to having their stories retyped an sent out, even on private e-mail. Has the paper circuit given way to the on-line library?)

1998 - Netfic Formatting A: How to Print It Prettily (An instructional panel, covering the basics of formatting, macros, and other time-saving tips to get the results you want.)

1998 - Privacy and Community: Pseudonyms, Screen Names and Face-to-Face Meetings (As more and more fandom is found online, how are we adapting to the anonymity that comes with it?)

1998  - Netfic Formatting B: From Word to Web, Making Shapely Net Slash (This panel is for everyone who wants to venture into the world of online slash, but gets nervous when faced with the myriad technical difficulties. Relax, it's easier than you think. We look at stylistic conventions, how to make your work newsgroup and e-mail friendly, and the dreaded subject header alphabet soup. We'll also cover some basic info on how to make a www archive site user friendly.)

1998 - Crossing the Line (An instructional panel on how to get what you want (more stories) in a world that may be unfamiliar to you (the web for print fans, and the insular world of zines for net fans).)

1999 - Does Print Fandom Have a Future? (In the age of instant, free net fic, is print fandom a dinosaur on its way to extinction, or a promise of reasonable quality in a sea of mediocrity? What are the key differences between zines and netfic, and what are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Can the two coexist happily? )

2000 - Promoting Critique on Mailing Lists (How to promote critical discussion and attention to the mechanics of writing on email lists?)

2000 - Changing Power Dynamics in Fandom (With the decline of zine editors and growth of the Net, what's changed, and how does it affect us and our fanfic?)

2001 - Website Workshop 2 by the lady of shalott (Setting up and maintaining a fanfic archive, and in particular how to set up the Automated Archive software used by 852 Prospect and the Due South archives.) [NB: Yes, she went through a bunch of name versions before ‘astolat’.]

2002 - How to run a Fiction Archive (and Maintain Your Sanity)

2002 - Nobody Here But Us Sockpuppets (How multiple personality disorder takes on a whole new meaning in the world of mailing lists.)

2003 - Getting slash onto your PalmPilot for computer free reading

2003 - Recs Databases! Creation and Commiseration (Do you run a recs database and want to commiserate? Do you currently have a recs page and want to become database-driven? Want to talk about the relative merits of using PHP, MySQL, or Access to organize smut?)

2003 - How to Set Up and Maintain Fanfiction Archives (If you're thinking of running an archive, or already do and need some help, this is the panel for you. We'll cover everything from choosing a method of archiving, handling fandom growth, dealing with troublemakers, and just how much time, webspace and money are we talking, anyway? Come pick the archivists' brains.)

2003 - Has Escapade Run Its Course (Scuttlebut says: It's not like it used to be. My old friends don't come any more. My new friends can't get in. It's too big. It's too small. Oxnard, for god's sake? I'm getting sick and tired of the same shit year after year. Is Escapade old and tired? Does it need to be retired?)

2004 - HTML and Website Introduction (if you don't have a website and want to create one. where doyoustart'This will cover creating basic HTML pages and common webhosting options, as well as things to think about as you set iin vour first website.)

2005 - Where Have All The Good Conversations Gone? Rise & Fall of the Escapade Panel (Are people still interested in talking about the characters, plots, and themes of their shows? Has in-depth analysis of our fandoms been abandoned in favor of meta and fannish introspection? The forums for analytical discussion are disappearing as self-censorship and over-moderation increase. Can we change this? Do we want to?)

2005 - The Fannish Wiki (So we have the directorium, the directory of All Things Fannish. We visit it and it's just so cool, and we look for our fandom to see what it says... and it's not there! How to add it? What sort of info belongs there? How does a wiki work?)

2005 - I Was So Much Older Then, I'm Younger Than That Now (We've all heard about or lived through the tumultuous era when fandom moved online. But how has slash fandom, particularly slash fandom, changed since then? Are the changes the result of online fandom, or simply of a change in culture?)

2005 - Fanfic Archives (Setting up and administering fanfic archives: concepts, considerations, techniques.)

2006 - Putting your fic on the web (Basic skills for putting your fic on the web, including building your own very basic website, using LJ as a fic-site building tool, various options for labeling adult content, and using the standard upload interfaces for popular self-submit story archive software.)

2006 - Nifty Technology and the Future of Fandom (Fandom is quick to adapt to change and continues to bring fen together and to create fannish product. Fans have thrived regardless of how they communicate; via the post office, mailing lists, message boards, and Livejournal; they've pushed the frontiers of video and audio technology; and have managed to survive changes in copyright, pornography, and other laws. What are the upcoming trends and shiny new technologies on the horizon and how will fen use them to enhance fandom?)

2006 - Intermediate Webmastering (Designing your website for usability, options for restricting access to your website, making your stories easily accessed by mobile devices, and things to consider so fans can easily locale your site.)

2007 - Free Webtools and How to Take Fandom Advantage (Lots of free tools are available on the web to help the needy fan! Tools to edit pictures, make icons, write stories, share recommendations, share stories, and be fannish are becoming more available and more user friendly. Come chat about tools like del.icio.us, google docs, pxn8 audacity, itunes, the gimp, bittorrent, imeem, youtube and lll other things that you come and tell us about!)

2008 - E-book Readers (Sony PRS-505 or Amazon Kindle what's all the fuss about? Introduction to E-Ink and other mobile devices. What are the pros and cons of various devices? Where do you find e- books and fan fiction, and most importantly how do you get fan fiction formatted so you can read it on your ebook reader?)

2008 - If You Build It, Will They Come? (Roundtable on meta fannish infrastructure building strategies. bethbethbeth can talk about some of the specific challenges OTW is facing in its brave new fan territory, while oulangi can talk about why metafandom has flourished while very similar projects have failed, while we'll both discuss some of the challenges of the established meta/fannish structure of new communities, new fans, new technologies—and most of all, how do you keep the meta-fan conversation moving forward?)

2008 - Livejournal: Should Fans Take Their Business Elsewhere? (A discussion of the pros and cons of fannish communication on the various blogging entities.)

2008 - How to Find and Use Free Stuff on the Web (All kinds of free webapps are available for fic, art, icons, communication, and all sort of other fannish stuff. Come share favorite sites—we can bookmark everything we talk about on del.icio.us in real time!)

2009 - The Organization for Transformative Works (Off the ground and starting to soar! Come here about the latest developments in the OTW's projects and discuss where you'd like to see it go next.)

2010 - Is Somebody Taking Notes On This?: A Discussion of the Role of Fannish History (In honor of Escapade's 20th anniversary, let's talk about recording fannish history. What are the challenges? Is it worth doing? Can it be done in a fair way? What are we afraid of happening if we try? Is Fanlore the right vehicle for the project?)

2010 - The OTW in Its Third Year led by Elke Tanzer and Shoshanna (Okay, sure, the Organization for Transformative Works bought its own goddamn servers and hosted an archive (that hosted Yuletide) and published a journal (with a special issue on Supernatural) and saved a bunch of Geocities sites and testified at the DMCA hearings (supporting the FFF's proposed exemptions for vidders and other remix artists) and made a bunch of lolcats—but what have they done for us lately? [5] What do you want them to do?)

2010 - We Are All Naked (On The Internet Now) led by treewishes (Social networking platforms like Facebook and Twitter are conspiring with Google and your ISP to out your slash pseudonym to your RL friends, and to tell all your slash buddies your real name. Is there any way to stop the wave of facial recognition software or your oh-so-helpful friends who type your birthday into the cloud? Or is all this an inevitable consequence of evolving technology? Come on in and let's talk conspiracy theories!)

2011 - Fanlore: Are BNFs Writing Our History?, led by Sandy H (Fanlore has an official policy of 'plural points of view', but is that really happening? Have you ever looked up a kerfluffle you were involved in, and seen how your side of the battle was portrayed.' And on the other side, are we afraid of conflict, to the point that Fanlore is bland and safe?)

2011 - OTW/AO3 Wish List Conversation, led by Sandy H (Do you feel like you don't know how to get your A03 or OTW wishlist through the bureaucracy? A03 is getting better all the time, but there's a ways to go. Let's brainstorm and turn a list over at the end of the panel.)

2011 - The Reccing Crew (Recommending a fanwork is deeply woven into our culture. Are there new social mores at work when we make public recs? How has the move from letters to mailing lists to Livejournal and Delicious affected reccing? Delicious was conceived as a bookmarking site, but often operates as a recs and comments site. If it goes away, what would replace it?)

2012 - Tumblr, Twitter, and Pinboard, Oh My (and GetGlue, too!) (In the past year, the ongoing fannish diaspora has picked up speed, as more fannish activity has moved away from LiveJournal and Dreamwidth, and onto sites like Tumblr and Twitter. And then there was the Delicious implosion. Now there's GetGlue, a social network specifically for entertainment. Let's talk about navigating these sites—their strengths and weaknesses, and how to use them.)

2012 - The Kids These Days (Ever wanted to tell someone to get offa your lawn? Strangle the next person who said that? Revive a dead fandom? Joined a fandom you were 20 years "too old" (or young!) for? Did you go from Usenet to mailing lists? From zines to livejournal? Are you eyeing Tumblr and Twitter with alarm? Let's talk about weathering changes in fandom with grace—or at least a little humor.)

2013 - Privacy, Secrecy, and the Fourth Wall (The fourth wall between fans and The Powers That Be is shrinking day by day. Are the technologies we're using changing fannish etiquette {from invite-only mailing lists, to friends-locked journals, to all public all the time tumblr)? Should we run for the hills or embrace the change? Discuss!)

2013 - The What With the Where Now?! (Every time you turn around fandom is playing on a new site that has new functionality, new ways of interacting and new lingo. Join us in surveying places like tumblr, twitter and getglue.)

2014 - Tumblr: Missing Missing E (So you've just gotten the hang of Livejournal when all of a sudden fandom has jumped shipped to this new "microblogging" platform called Tumblr. What is "microblogging" anyway, and where do you even start? Join us in this tutorial/discussion on creating an account, deciphering the culture, finding fandom, and making Tumblr work for you.)

2014 - Out Of Step With the World (You have no current fandom. You can't even get Tumblr to load. What do you do when you're feeling disconnected and alienated, but you don't want to leave fandom for good? If this sounds like you, come join us to figure out some strategies for rekindling the love, making new friends, and finding your place.)

2014 - Real Fannish Community (Has AO3 ended the era of real fannish community or has it ushered in a new era of increased connectedness? Is Tumblr better or worse than the old days (and were the old days livejournal? yahoo groups? APA snail mail zine groups?)? I'm hoping for equal parts 'get off my lawn' and 'the future's so bright I gotta wear shades' debate here.)

2015 - Tumblr 102: Into Darkness. You’re here, now what? Here we talk about etiquette and xkit and making the most of your fannish tumblr experience.

2017 - Home on the Web (LJ's Russian overlords have removed HTTPS support and are moving the server activity to Russia; some say a shutdown of US services is on the horizon. Yahoo fails to make money with Tumblr. Dreamwidth is slow, and doesn't have media hosting. Email lists are a hassle. Imzy, a startup, places branding aesthetics over design usability. Where's the next place for fandom, or should we reclaim one or more of the platforms from the past?)

2018 - How to Tumblr (Like it or not (often, mostly not), tumblr is where fandom is most active right now. How do you find anything? How do you have conversations? How do you archive the bits you like best? The good news: the answers are not, "you don't; you don't; you don't." Bad news: Those aren't actually good questions for being fannish on tumblr.)

2019 - Social Network of Our Own (SNO3?) (Between FOSTA/SESTA, Article 13, Facebook's new "don't mention that sex exists" policy, and the Tumblrpocalypse, is it time for our own fannish social site? Or are Dreamwidth and Pillowfort enough?)

Words left unspoken

Unpopular royai headcanon: Roy and Riza didn't get to really know each other until Ishval. I think it fit more closely with the cannon AND it makes their relationship more interesting. This little fic explores this theme and other stuff. 

Written for Royai Week 2020, prompt 1: Letter

Summary : In the midst of the Ishvalan Civil War, Roy finally decides to send some letters back home. A sense of duty, or maybe it’s guilt, drives him to send his last letter to Miss Hawkeye. But what can he say to her? How can he justify what he has done with her trust? They were still only strangers, bound together by duty rather than by choice, and by the ghost of a man who had left an indelible mark on both of them.

French version (the original one): https://lastwagontrainhopper.tumblr.com/post/620416870258032641/la-lettre-royai

Read it on FanFiction.net : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13611586/1/Words-left-unspoken

-------------------------------

On the second Sunday of each month, the soldiers of the 4th battalion could send letters to their families back home. Every man used the opportunity; some with excess, like Hughes and the novels he sent to his fiancee, and others with restrain, like Ellith who only wrote a few lines to his old mother; but all at least sent something.

All, except their commanding officer, Major Roy Mustang.

Roy did, in fact, have a family and friends to send letters to, but the truth was he had no desire to do so. People wrote to their loved ones, he thought, to offer them a piece of landscape discovered while traveling, or to reassure them with news of their well-being. But there was no part of Ishval's suffocating deserts and icy nights that Roy wished to send back to Central, and no news of himself he wanted his relatives to know about. Considering the state he was in, giving them news would hardly reassure them anyway.

No. Roy corrected himself. He was alive and unharmed; this was something that couldn't be said for many of his comrades, and he had to tell this much to his loved ones. He knew an absence of letters would make them assume the worst; he might as well save them the worry if he could.

After all, he had created enough suffering here as it was.

Furthermore, as Hughes had pointed out, his lack of letters was not going unnoticed in the battalion. The men speculated: did the Major have no family? Or did he just not care about them at all? Roy was already being treated like a human weapon by his superiors, and his seeming indifference only strengthened this idea in the soldiers' minds. "You need to show them you have people you care about back home, just like they do," Hughes had advised him. "It will remind them that you're only human after all."

"And maybe", his friend probably thought, "it'll remind you as well."

And so, when the evening of the second Saturday of the month came around, instead of warming up around the fire with the others, Roy borrowed Hughes a pen and a few sheets of paper and got to work.

Thanks to his rank as a Major, he was allowed a private tent furnished with a cot and a small wooden desk; the whole thing lacked luxury but provided an intimacy that many soldiers envied him. In the uncertain light of a candle, Roy began his first letter, addressed to his sisters. He wrote it to Vanessa, the one he had always been closest to, but he knew the other girls would shamelessly read the message over her shoulder as soon as she would open it.

While he was usually so talkative, Roy suddenly found himself at a loss for words. The girls knew him as the fun and charming boy who had been hanging around Madame Christmas' bar since well before the legal age, and who always amazed them by creating flowers with his alchemy. What did this boy and the man who was writing the letter had left in common? What could he tell them without revealing just how much he had changed? Once again, he felt like crumpling the paper into a ball and stopping there. More than anything else, he wanted his sisters to keep as the only image of him the teenage Roy they had known, the one who had not stained his hands with blood yet. But he knew that this was nothing but a false hope: sooner or later, news of the Flame alchemist's work would reach Central, and then, there would be nothing left to hide.

They might as well get used to the idea of a soldier Roy right away.

Nevertheless, he kept a light tone throughout his letter. He talked about the weather, about his uniform which his sisters despised so much and which always seemed too heavy or too light here. He talked about the food, which he described as even worse than Mrs. Christmas' dishes, and the few bottles of whiskey the soldiers would pass around from time to time. He talked about the long evenings spent talking around the fire, and the camaraderie that existed in his battalion, without adding that the respect and fear he inspired in his men prevented him from truly taking part in it.

He talked about nothing else.

In his letter to Mrs. Christmas, he spoke of his constant tiredness, his feeling of loneliness, and the pressure his superiors put him under. His adoptive mother could understand all that – but she had never been in the military, so Roy did not mention the situation of the Amestrian army.

To Colonel Barker, his former superior and mentor in the military, he talked about the ammunition shortages and the delay in resupply that often kept them from advancing for days. He talked about the lack of troops and the cadets barely out of the academy who were going to be brought here to fill in the gaps.

Then, looking at his remaining sheets of paper, Roy wondered who to send his last letter to. He would surely have sent it to Hughes, and was grateful that he didn't have to. This war would have been even worse without a familiar face by his side.

He hesitated for a moment, and addressed his final letter to Miss Hawkeye.

He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he had a duty to write to her. Before being deployed, Roy had gotten into the habit of sending her letters a few times a month to check on how she was adjusting to life in Central. With the state alchemist exam and the work that came with his entrance in the military, he had had little time to do more to help her.

Even though Miss Hawkeye had told him several times that he owed her nothing, Roy could not help but feel a responsibility toward the young girl. It may have been a bit chivalrous – he preferred to think of it as a gentleman's attitude - but he wanted to look after her. After all, she had no family left to lean on, and she didn't know anyone in the capital. More importantly, it was thanks to her and her father than he had become a state alchemist, and Roy didn't want to give the impression that he had abandoned Miss Hawkeye right after obtaining her father's research, like he had used her for that purpose.

But when she answered his letters, the girl had always taken a polite and formal tone, staying deliberately vague about her activities and not once asking for his help. She obviously wanted to take care of herself, and Roy had not insisted. How strange, he thought not for the first time, that they were still almost strangers to each other despite what they had shared.

It was certainly not the only strange thing about Miss Hawkeye. Roy had grown up surrounded by his foster sisters and been around all kinds of girls at his school in Central. Some of them had been shy and others had been confident, some serious and others hilarious, but none of the girls he met had been anything like his teacher's daughter.

Roy had only seen Miss Hawkeye a few times during his years of studying at her house: her father had sent her to a private school in the nearest town, and the few occasion when she came home were strangely timed with the moments Berthold Hawkeye sent his apprentice back to Central, to "give him a little vacation". Therefore, they had not truly spoken until her father's death, when Roy had taken care of the funeral.

At first, she had seemed sweet and reserved, nothing more. A little naive as well, he thought to himself now – as naive as he had been then. But soon enough, when she decided to entrust him with her father's research, Roy had discovered the other side of her.

She was a rock. Once she made a choice, she was unshakable, and accepted the consequences of her decision without flinching. And while she was indeed discreet, she displayed her will as firmly as if she had screamed it at the top of her lungs. She had given him the impression of someone who had received a lot of responsibilities with little recognition.

After the funeral, Miss Hawkeye had begun to organize her father's possession with cold method and efficiency, as if her last family member had not died a few days prior. At her request, Roy had begun studying her father's research notes immediately, in her family home. When she had revealed her back to him, she had seemed slightly embarrassed, but had shown no sign of hesitation, and no complaints or nervous giggle had escaped her lips. If it had been anyone else, Roy would surely have attempted some jokes to lighten the mood and make her comfortable, but the girl treated her father research with such gravity that humor would have seemed nothing short of sacrilegious.

Roy could not help but feel a deep uneasiness at the sight of the tattoo left by her father, but he had not dared to ask out loud the questions that were burning his throat. It was not his place: he knew nothing of her relationship with her father, just as he knew almost nothing about her. They were strangers, bound together by duty rather than choice, and Miss Hawkeye seemed determined to fulfill this duty without fail. The only other thing linking them was a man who had left an indelible mark on both of them and who was nothing more now than a ghost.

And Roy could feel the ghost's disapproving gaze on his shoulders every day since his arrival in Ishval. With each snap of his fingers, he could imagine his teacher's anger and disappointment with the way he stained fire alchemy. Master Hawkeye had been right: his alchemy had been turned into a mere weapon in the service of the state, all because of Roy and of his foolish, trusting daughter.

His teacher was long dead, Roy needed to remind himself, and there was nothing he owed him anymore. Miss Hawkeye, on the other hand, was very much alive, and it was her who had gifted him fire alchemy after all. Roy did owe her something: some explanations, or excuses, he didn't know, but he felt like he had to tell her something, anything, before she found out from the newspaper the devastation her choice had wreaked.

Above all, Roy wanted her to know he had been sincere, that day when he had talked about his dream. It hadn't been a lie to manipulate her and gain power; he had really intended to use alchemy for the good of the people, and really joined the military to protect Amestris. Simply…fate had decided otherwise.

Roy took his time to lay his thoughts on paper, carefully weighing each word. He didn't sugarcoat the situation as he had done for his sisters – he knew Miss Hawkeye could handle the truth, and he owed her nothing less. He added, however, how his alchemy had helped save many Amestrian lives; it was a small consolation, but it was the only one he could offer her. He apologized: it made of course no difference, but it felt right to do so.

The following morning, with dark circles under his eyes, Roy accompanied his men to the mail wagon for the first time, his letters carefully folded in the pocket of his uniform. As he waited in line to deliver them, he saw a group of fresh recruits stepping down a train coming from Central.

Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of a female cadet with blond hair and amber eyes, causing his heart to skip a beat. He turned his head to get a better view, and felt the ground beneath his fleet slipped away. It was her.

No. This couldn't be happening. His throat was tightly shut; he could do nothing but stare at her in a mortified silence. The blonde cadet didn't look in his direction and followed her regiment, leaving for the main camp before Roy could bring himself to call to her.

Soon, it was his turn to drop his mail. Stunned as if he had just received a blow to the head, Roy took the letters out of his pocket and stared at them. He added them to the pile in front of him, except for one, which he kept clenched in his fist.

Once out of the line, he snapped his fingers, and all his carefully crafted excuses, explanations, and apologies went up in smoke in an instant and disappeared, like unspoken words stuck in his throat.

Hello! I hope you are doing fine. So I read the new chapters of Into Flames and ... oh boy, oh boy... I'm not gonna lie, when I read chapter 3 my first reaction was similar to the one Remi half-expected from Weller: a psychopath creeping into the house where Sawyer was sleeping with a knife. And, I am not gonna lie again, I was a bit puzzled about Kurt's reaction in chapter 4. His sister and her son were sleeping in that house. And Remi just decided to go there and threaten his father after (1)

Oh, ReviewerAnon. I freakin love getting to hear your thoughts on this story. And funnily enough, I literally thought of you the very day before you sent these Asks, wondering if you were still reading along, and I was so excited to see the notifications show up less than 24hrs later. Given the length of your messages-- not to mention the undoubtedly very long responses I will be giving to your questions/comments about IF-- I’m going to put the rest under a Read More so people don’t have to scroll past a huge block of text. But to any of my followers that are reading IF, feel free to read this and even add any thoughts you might have, bc there might be some interesting (and spoiler-free) things for you to discover if you want to look below the cut :)

So I read the new chapters of Into Flames and ... oh boy, oh boy... I'm not gonna lie, when I read chapter 3 my first reaction was similar to the one Remi half-expected from Weller: a psychopath creeping into the house where Sawyer was sleeping with a knife. And, I am not gonna lie again, I was a bit puzzled about Kurt's reaction in chapter 4. His sister and her son were sleeping in that house. And Remi just decided to go there and threaten his father after a two sentence discussion with Weller. Determined to get an answer Weller hadn't gotten, in a way he never dared to. It made me uncomfortable. So I gave it a couple of weeks and thought about it. And in some way it made sense. Because she loves him and she realized that he could never be a whole person again until he got an answer that would allow him to put the past behind him. And he would never get an answer because he could never put a knife in that man's throat and demand it. And the past and that man would continue to hunt him. The same past and man that had pushed him to almost take his own life. So she does what he can't do and he accepts it because he understands it comes from a place of love and more importantly because he feels it in his bones that he would never have an answer in any other way. Or at least that's how I saw it. 

Oh man. I have so much to say about this and I hope it’s going to make sense. Firstly, my immediate response to you not liking Remi’s actions was “Nooooooooo” because I’m always sad when someone doesn’t enjoy something in my writing. But I’m so delighted that you actually gave it the benefit of the doubt and thought about it from different angles rather than just dismissing it as a poor writing choice, and honestly the conclusion you came to is pretty much exactly what I was going for! But to say a bit more about it, because I can’t help myself lol: firstly, though we haven’t had much opportunity to see it in either fic, Remi is fiercely protective of kids (even while having very little idea of how to interact with them), given her history with the orphanage and Shepherd’s parenting etc. Literally from the moment she heard his story about Taylor in the cave, she knew that she would have gotten the truth out of Bill by any means necessary if she had been in Weller’s shoes, and would also have made Bill pay dearly for it. When she discovers at the safehouse that Bill is practically within reach, there is no question for her that she has to do this for Weller. Not only does she love him and want him to have closure, but she feels that she owes it to him to do what he can’t-- to her, Weller saved her, showed her that she wasn’t just the irredeemable monster that Shepherd had created; but she also knows that her darker side is exactly what is needed for this, because only someone who was a little bit monstrous could do what was necessary to get the truth from someone like Bill. By doing it herself, she ensures Weller will get the answer he so desperately wants and needs, all without ever tainting his soul or his conscience. Did a part of her also almost hope (even as the thought terrified her) that doing this terrible thing would make him turn his back on her once he learned of it? Honestly, I think so, even if just a little bit. Because yes, she loves him, but she is still half-convinced that she is the very thing he needs protecting from, not to mention that she is insecure as hell, and if he left her now because of this, that would be easier to bear than him leaving her later bc he just ‘lost interest’ or fell for someone else or whatever.  

As for Weller’s reaction-- despite their grim nature, he sees her actions for the gift of love that they are, sees her taking the burden of doing ‘evil’ onto her own shoulders in order to both heal his old wounds and prevent him gaining new ones. And honestly, when he learns of it, I don’t think her going into the apartment with Sarah and Sawyer gives him even a moment’s concern-- firstly, he knows she would have used as little force as possible with Bill, because he knows her and knows that she’s not needlessly cruel, and also that she cares what he thinks of her, so there would have been no doubt in his mind hat she would have been very restrained in her approach. He knows, too, that with her level of skill, Sarah and Sawyer were bound to never even know she was there. And if by some unlucky chance they did discover her, it would probably all be fine-- Sarah knows and trusts her and so would listen to what she had to say, and Sawyer was little enough that he would believe pretty much anything that this gentle and pretty lady said, especially if his mom was also awake to say she was Uncle Kurt’s girlfriend. (Btw let’s not forget Bill would be rendered unconscious the moment he made a peep, so it’s not like either of them would walk in on him squealing like a stuck pig with her standing over him covered in blood and holding a knife). 

But aaaanyway TL/DR; Remi Briggs would do anything to protect Kurt Weller from literally any form of harm, regardless of the cost to herself, and Weller recognises this and would never turn on her for doing so, even if she did it in a way that others might condemn. He just accepts her and finds his own ways to protect her in return, because that’s what you do for the people you love.

A question here: why do you think he never threatened his father for an answer when he was sure about what he had done? Why didn't he put a gun to his head? He must have thought about it. Perhaps, when it came to that man Weller would always feel like a 10-year old boy with no power over his paternal figure? Helpless and hopeless? 

Oooh boy, time for a fun fact: my first idea for Weller’s ‘dark secret’ wasn’t that he tried to kill himself. It was actually much like what you said; sometime when he had grown into a tall, broad-shouldered teenager who almost physically rivalled his father for size and was no longer paralysed by his fear of him, he was going to finally snap, attack his father and threaten him with a gun to get him to tell him the truth about Taylor. Then, either he would have the sudden realization that he had also become a violent monster just like his father and immediately back off, or Sarah would unexpectedly appear and interrupt the confrontation, following which Weller would run off and enlist and basically banish himself to the other side of the world in shame/to protect her and others from himself. When I thought about it, though, I decided that him actually going through with something like that didn’t really fit with the image of Weller I had in my head (even a traumatised and angsty and hormonal teenaged Weller) so I changed the plot to have him nearly kill himself instead. The subtext of that moment, which I never actually explicitly wrote but was definitely there in my mind, was that the reason he nearly killed himself and then later ran away to the Army was because he wanted to kill his father, wanted to attack him just like I described above, and was so horrified by that urge-- and by the belief that it meant that he truly was his father’s son, just another violent monster like Bill-- that he ran as far and fast as he could and then focused his entire life around helping people (as much as one can while in the Army... though that’s a political debate for another time), trying to stamp out or at least outrun that part of himself. Obviously that’s a level of complexity that you guys never really received bc I never actually told you-- but actually as I write this, I actually now know exactly where and when I will include it in the future. So I guess you did just get a teeny spoiler there haha :P

Anyway... Chapter 5 was AMAZING. I love how much she loves Weller and I'm so glad that she just went ahead and said it. I love that it is important to her that he knows that she feels the same. What a difference a few weeks, a good man, and the generous love of that man can make to a broken person... Remi has come a long way. I also LOVED the interaction between Emma and Remi but I kind of also wanted a glimpse of Remi's thoughts on the necklace and what Emma's gesture meant to her. 

“What a difference a few weeks, a good man, and the generous love of that man can make to a broken person”-- Yes!! You have literally captured the entire theme of FTA and IF. I started writing FTA purely because I wondered what kind of person Remi would have become if she’d met Weller earlier. The assassination attempt by Orion was a turning point in her life, one that (in canon) drove her back to Shepherd and to the ‘dark side’. But if it had led her to Weller instead, and to the side of good... what else would change, not only for her, but for all of them? Exploring that in IF has been awesome, partly because I get to right a lot of wrongs, but also because I get to take two traumatised people who have suffered a lot in their lives and let them start to heal together, and just be happy and stupidly in love?? The whole thing is pure bliss, both for them and for me lol

Also I get what you mean about wanting to know Remi’s reaction to Emma and the necklace, given that we never got to really see it bc that scene was all from Weller’s POV. I will do my best to address it someday, and I think I even have an idea of where it could happen....

The tattoos in chapter 6 were indeed EXTRA but they are drunk in love so go ahead with all the grand dramatic gestures... 

Dude, you have no idea how hard I fought with myself on that one. The sensible side was all “Laura, no, it’s so lame and over-the-top! Don’t do it! Everyone will roll their eyes and be unable to take you seriously ever again!” while the fluff-loving little fangirl in me just repeatedly cried “But I wanna!!” Which was clearly enough argument to convince me, given the sappy romantic that I am lol. (A decision that was helped along by a little encouragement from the ever-awesome @chibinoyume). And as it turns out, people seemed to enjoy the whole tattoo thing, thankfully! I think the fact that these two are clearly very much in the ‘Honeymoon Phase’ helped out there, as did the fact that the tattoos could technically be viewed as a reminder of their journey/survival rather than just specifically of each other. But man, I wish I could have gotten to write Remi’s indecision as she paced around the spare bedroom for a couple of hours trying to decide whether to tattoo herself or not lol. Because (much like my own little internal debate haha) she wanted to do it, but felt that she shouldn’t want to do it, and was also nervous about the reaction if she did. But anyway, I may very well end up writing a oneshot of that moment someday. We’ll see.

Chapter 7 was so much fun! Thank god for shared bathrooms and extra doors and kudos to Remi for claiming what obviously belongs to her. She loves him and he loves her and good for them for not holding anything back. Life is too short and they wasted a lot of years already without love in their life. 

I agree completely!! These two have both lived so much of their lives in emotional isolation-- I mean, yes, Weller had Sarah and Sawyer and Emma, but like I said earlier, he had deliberately kept his distance out of fear and shame, and then by the time he started to realise that he wasn’t his father, he was so used to being far away that I think it just made sense to stay that way. So when he and Remi found each other and experienced that deep sense of connection for the first time, they might have shied away from it at first, but once they accepted it, no one was ever going to be able to make them let go. They are each others’ person, and always will be, even if they both get afflicted by insecurity at times! 

Also hell yes about the shared bathrooms!!! I know I could have written it that way regardless, bc I’m the author and I can do what I want, but having reality actually back me up on it was amazing lol. I’m pretty sure you asked several weeks ago what the bedroom/roommate situation was like at Quantico and I couldn’t tell you back then, so I’m glad I finally got to share the answer with you haha!

And although I am sure other readers are ready for team bonding and first friendships (at least for Remi), I am here for Mayfair. Mayfair is an absolute queen and has shown more caring and love for these two than their parental figures ever did. I am now gonna go ahead and selfishly say what I would like to see: I'm here for both of them (together and separately) having a heart-to-heart with Mayfair. I'm here for Remi sincerely saying how much she appreciates everything Mayfair has done for them, although she owed her nothing. I'm honestly here for them to send Mayfair flowers and chocolates and maybe a new scarf. I want grand gestures! One of the greatest failures of the show, in my opinion, was the lack of healthy relationships between people of different generations. It's pathetic that almost every person over 40 turned out to be a villain and every single parental figure (except Emma who we saw for like 2 seconds and Bill Nye) failed miserably their children (I am not even going to talk about killing Mayfair). Our relationships are not just with people of our age, our friends or siblings. We have important relationships with our parents, our aunts, our older colleagues or friends and we often turn to them for love and advice and encouragement and maybe to get yelled at for doing stupid things. Why on earth could we not have that on Blindspot? The team is great and everything but Mayfair's relationship with Weller was amazing (and I guess her relationship with Patterson and the others, if they cared to elaborate on time and not after death). So please please more Mayfair in the story... (They will have weekends off at some point, right? And they will need protection. A safehouse, right? I am sure Mayfair can have a beachhouse or a lakehouse or a house on the top of a mountain where they can go spend the weekend safely because Mayfair is the head of the NYO and she has to have extra security, right? I will pay money for a Remi-Mayfair talk about her relationship with Weller and how it has changed her but also confiding to her about what kind of future she sees with Weller after Orion is defeated.) 

This is a really interesting point, and I honestly hadn’t noticed until now just how many of the older characters turned out to be absolutely awful, or if they weren’t, got quickly killed off. I will forever be bitter about Mayfair’s end (I held onto denial about her death for so damn long, sigh) and that was one of the things I wanted to rectify in this story. Mayfair is an amazing part of the team and an incredible character in her own right. Though with that said, I honestly hadn’t planned for her to be in the Quantico-based chapters much at all, purely bc she’s a busy lady and NYC is several hours away, but after getting your asks I had an idea for a very Mayfair-focused chapter and I think you’re going to enjoy it a lot. Well, I hope so, anyway!

Finally, with the way these two are behaving I'm half expecting a marriage proposal and a yes before the question gets fully asked and I will be like "I mean yeah... it makes total sense after 6 weeks together..." 

Hahahaha I love that you would be on board with a Reller engagement already! I get what you mean; they’ve been A Lot lately, especially bc of all the uncertainty of their changing situation, but I think once they settle into Quantico life they’ll tone it down a notch lol. Plus, it definitely is still early days, and there’s a lot that these guys have to figure out before they could get to that point! I can neither confirm nor deny that a proposal will happen by the end of the fic (mostly because I legitimately don’t know yet lol-- I have about 20 chapters to write before we even get near to the end, so I’ve got lots of other things to be focusing on for now haha). But with that said, if I do include one, I hope it’ll be done in such a way that it makes you go “Yes. This is right. This is exactly how it should be.” And if I don’t include one, I promise I’ll make it very clear that they’re committed to each other regardless ;)

My friend, you are crazy talented. Insanely talented. And I can tell how much you enjoy writing this story. So kudos to you and here's to many more chapters of Remi and Weller (and Mayfair...) This message is waaaay too long but I wanted to write for a few weeks now and finally I had some time to write down my thoughts. I hope this is okay. Stay healthy and safe! ReviewerAnon

Oh man. Honestly, the fact that you have so many thoughts and feelings about this story is one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever received (although you saying I’m insanely talented is definitely another huge one!!!). Thank you so much for taking the time not only to read my work, but to think about it, to analyse what you feel about it and why, and for coming here to tell me your findings! You’re right, I do absolutely love writing this story and inhabiting this world with these characters, just as I love sharing that world with you guys! I truly hope that you continue to enjoy the journey, and that you will feel comfortable to continue sharing your thoughts about it. And of course, I hope that you are happy and well in whatever corner of the world you inhabit, just as I am in mine! 

Until next time x

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We have 5 wonderful Big Bang fics. Click the Read More for their summaries!

Fic 1: Take Me Out to the Ballgame Tentative Title: (not the title) take me out to the ballgame Pairing(s): Jon Favreau / Tommy Vietor Characters:  Jon Favreau, Tommy Vietor Ao3 Rating: E Warnings: No archive warnings apply Additional Tags: Baseball AU ; Coming Out ; Bisexual Characters ; Dating ; Alternate Universe - Different Meeting Summary: Jon and Tommy meet playing baseball in high school and start to fall for each other, then Tommy moves away. Their epic love story continues when they end up on the same Minor League baseball team. The big question is, will they end up with a World Series ring or an engagement ring? Fic 2: Spirits that I’ve Cited Tentative Title: Spirits that I've cited   Pairing(s): Tommy/Lovett; background Emily/Jon, Alyssa/Erin Characters: Tommy, Lovett, Favs, Emily, Alyssa, Erin, Dan Ao3 Rating: tentative M (for psychological horror and possible sex) Warnings: a non-consensual kiss under the influence of possession might happen, this scene is not yet written Additional Tags: paranormal investigators, slow burn, reluctant colleagues to friends to lovers, mutual pining, angst, hurt/comfort, accidental internet stars, bed-sharing, coming-out, road trips, witches getting married, demonic possession, ghosts, mythical creatures, Monster of the Week, psychological but non-graphical horror, slightly unreliable narrator, intoxication, magical mind control, themes of bodily and mental autonomy, (past) abusive relationships (not between main characters), possession induced mental health problems, worldbuilding, happy ending Summary:  It’s a cold day in November when Tommy meets Lovett and his life turns upside down. Which shouldn’t be the worst thing, looking at it objectively. 

Because, objectively, Tommy’s life already sucks. He is lonely, depressed, and Crooked Medium, the agency for paranormal investigations he co-owns with his ex-boyfriend Jared, is falling apart. Besides the shitty fact that he and Jared broke up, they constantly operate in the red, despite their best efforts. And it’s just the garbage cherry on top of the dumpster sundae that Jared and their only other core member, Jon, hate each other’s guts. Jon is Tommy's friend, but more importantly, he is Crooked Medium's exorcist par excellence, and for a former priest Tommy thought he might be better at the whole 'turn the other cheek' thing. He supposes that probably explains the 'former' part. So of course he panics when Jon unexpectedly buys out Jared’s shares in the company and offers Lovett a one-year apprenticeship as a medium and buys Jared shares of the agency. Suddenly Tommy’s faced with training a person who is not familiar with magic in one of the most dangerous jobs in the world, instead of relying on the experience Jared had. Despite the help from magical professors Alyssa and Dan, witch and shop-owner Erin, and their whole team—to Tommy it feels like Lovett’s credentialing next November is ages away. However, after a bonding experience involving ghost mice, Tommy slowly but surely discovers that Lovett isn’t an inconvenience at all. He is charming, attractive, hilarious, and way more talented than Tommy originally anticipated. Even their business improves, especially when they become an overnight internet sensation due to a malfunction. Instead of operating only in Boston, people across the country are now booking them to handle their mystical and paranormal problems. With each new case, Lovett learns more—and Tommy learns more about Lovett. This is unfortunate, given that Lovett is technically Tommy's intern, and the last thing Tommy needs is a harassment scandal. Tommy, naturally good at ignoring things, decides to ignore it. Which works out fine, thank you very much. At least up until Alyssa and Erin’s magical wedding in the woods. Or up until Lovett has a life-changing experience with a mirror. Or maybe even up until Lovett (plus Lovett's friend/household spirit Spencer) moves in. And just when Tommy thinks falling in love with his employee is his biggest problem, it turns out much more nefarious forces are at work. Fic #3: The gentle outline of the country we are building Tentative Title: The gentle outline of the country we are building  Pairing(s): Jon Favreau/Jon Lovett/Tommy Vietor, Jon Favreau/Jon Lovett, Jon Favreau/Tommy Vietor, Jon Lovett/Tommy Vietor Characters: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor, Dan Pfeiffer, Alyssa Mastromonaco, Cody Keenan, Michael O' Neill, Spencer Wong, Andy Favreau, Tanya Somanader, Travis Helwig Ao3 Rating: E Warnings: No archive warnings apply Additional Tags: DC era, LA era, pining, wrong number AU, polyamory, threesomes, jealousy, slow burn, friends with benefits, angst with a happy ending, getting together, smut, fluff, blowjobs, anal sex, rimming, dirty talk, sexting, drinking, marijuana, sex under mild influence of alcohol, friends to lovers.  AO3 (working) Summary: It takes spending the night in one room with a king-sized bed for Jon, Lovett, and Tommy to finally get it right after nearly a decade of trying.  AKA A story about Jon, Tommy, and Lovett getting together, aided and abetted by Jon’s technological ineptitude, misunderstandings, love, friendship, and longing.   Expanded summary: Jon and Lovett embark on a charged, text-based flirtation without knowing the other after Jon texts the wrong number during the 2008 general election campaign. It feels like a summer fling that wouldn’t end, just like those times Jon had slept with Tommy back in Chicago. But both of them do end, but at least Jon’s going to the White House with a new speechwriter and his best friend in tow. Jon thinks, not the right time then with Tommy, not the right time now with you, Lovett.   They write speeches and policies and learn lessons on how to build a country and a friendship. The first summer at the White House, Tommy starts taking Lovett to bed almost every night. Two years later, he stops, because Lovett knocks on his door one day and says, “I am leaving.” Not quite the right time for you and me.   Lovett spends his days in LA writing things very different from what he used to but thinking thoughts about Jon and Tommy that aren’t all that different. Jon and Tommy skype him from Chicago when his show gets canceled, and Lovett thinks about how right they look together on the screen, like they belong to each other. Jon comes to LA and doesn’t leave. Tommy moves closer, but not close enough. They lose everything when November 2016 dawns and then build an empire from the ruins, and over the next few months, they think, maybe it wasn’t the right time then, and maybe we did not do this before because we were always meant to do this together. All of us.   Fic 4: Loving Him was Red - Azure Title: loving him was red - azure Pairing(s): Jon Favreau/Dan Pfeiffer, background Michael/Elijah Characters: Jon, Dan, Tommy, Lovett, Alyssa, Michael, Elijah Rating: E Warnings: No major warnings apply Additional tags: alternate universe, actors, hollywood, tabloids, love at first sight, BDSM, like lots of BDSM, spanking, flogging, humiliation, painplay, safeword use, failed scene, alcohol, alcohol abuse, drug use and abuse, divorce, bad at communication Summary: Rising star Dan Pfeiffer meets grown-up child actor Jon Favreau on the set of the movie that just might be their big break. It's a good old-fashioned Hollywood story. Boy meets Boy. Boy falls head over heels at first sight. Boy marries Boy. Boy ties Boy up and fucks him til he screams. But the Hollywood lights hit every dark shadow too and as the tabloids stir up gossip; as Jon spends more and more time at the club; and as Dan starts to wonder what comes next, the faultlines widen and their marriage falls into the abyss This is the first of a three fic arc chronicling the beginning, end, and re-beginning of an epic love story. Fic 5: Invisible String

Tentative Title:  Invisible String Pairing(s): Jon Favreau / Tommy Vietor Characters: Jon Favreau, Tommy Vietor Ao3 Rating: Explicit Warnings: NO WARNINGS   Additional Tags: affection, holding hands, chase sequence, shaving (face), mention of pod sponsors, wills & estates, cartoon villains, clothes sharing, Boston, plane flights, current day/LA era,Summary: Human boatshoe Tommy Vietor discovers he can claim a huge inheritance if he can prove he is married. If he does not, the $40 million fortune will go to the National Rifle Association. Best friend Jon Favreau steps up to help Tommy out. The NRA hires investigators to find information in order to break the will, chasing our boys all over Boston at one point.