joelskall is so deep in my brain... I'm thinking about Iskall's first memory of Joel being "oh no he's hot..." or something like that. Him just appreciating how amazing Joel looks. He never met a man, haven't really got a chance to talk to him yet, but the way he handles himself, how he moves and how he talks, subconciously, were stuck in Iskall's mind.

I want him to realize that he fell for Joel while talking to Stress. They're having another silly friendly arfument again and it goes about something to do with Iskall bothering Joel for no reason, and in the heat of them overtalking each other he confesses that he, in fact, does find Joel pretty. Ofc Stress won't let that slide. Whatever they were arguing about was put aside so that she can get more info out of poor Iskall and his feelings. lol.

Anyway he denies whatever he said. Sure the man looks nice, doesn't mean Iskall's into him or anything. Surely he annoys him a lot, but not because he wants to be near, he's a new guy after all! And he made himself stuck at his base while working on it, making it prettier. Not that it has anything to do with him admiring how amazing Joel is in everything he does. Anyway, what?

Iskall pretty much leaves the place still in denial, but he has a long time to think on that. Still in denial whenever he and Joel have to hang out next time, still in denial when he bothers him again, making one million excuses about why he is NOT in love with the guy and that he just finds him charming! Maybe he does a little! That's all! And he's new after all, gotta get to know him!

...that goes poorly, actually. Because next time Iskall visits, Joel shows him the statue he built in a shrine for his wife. Of his wife, with a little Joel she's holding. THE FUCK YOU MEAN HE HAS A WIFE??? those were first words Stress hears when Iskall comes to her base, back from Joel's. She says she assumed he knew, seeing as lots of other hermits do. He didn't tho. And that starts to stress him out even more. He overthinks about if having the feelings he has is even normal(he almost accepted it, trust), he overthinks the entire bit Joel has with Etho and being obsessed, he re-thinks all the moments Etho and Joel had and the neck kissing bit and how in the world is this all ok when HE'S MARRIED. Iskall remembers Lizzie was there actually when the neck kissing thing started, and she didn't seem to mind? Should he talk about this to somebody? Should he ask??? Would that be too weird???

Luckily, next time he visits Mumbo, who needs some resurce help for his builds, Joel also arrives, so they get to talk. Obviously it starts from just casual hermit stuff, Iskall desperately tries to keep it normal and not say anything weird or stare too much. But the dialogue leads in the right direction, luckily for Iskall.

"How's Lizzie doing? Has she been well?" Mumbo asks. Bless him.

"Yea she's alright, tho we haven't been seeing each other much since I'm mostly here with you guys. Been missing her a bit quite honestly."

So the convo led to him and Lizzie. Iskall just hopes and prays he didn't ask anything weird during that, but judging by Mumbo's reactions (which were absent) he did great. AND he managed to find out stuff. He thinks. Joel seems to not mind Lizzie meeting people while he's away, same with Lizzie being ok with Joel hanging out with hermits here. Hence the entire thing he has with Etho. What Iskall is sure of now - Joel is very much open to any potential thing.

Wait. WHY DID ISKALL EVEN HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS??? HE DOESN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM!!... does he?

This is where he pretty much accepted it. Mostly. He tried not to think about it much(tho it was hard) but now that he knows Joel is open to things... maybe made Iskall quite... happy. Excited even. Poor Pearl had to deal with him buying an entire stack of Joel's stamps. Good for her I guess, since she got the money for it. So now, even tho Joel is away, and Iskall has to ponder even more about what he wants to do with himself - it's exciting to see what's coming.

...

ok I didn't mean to write this all but they HAVE BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR. A WHILE. mostly Iskall being a menace bc he doesn't know how to express his feelings and Joel being confuse at the beginning but starting to get into it. Two unhinged types of men amiright. Sorry for typos if there are any it's 4 am and my eyeballs hurt.

The last sentence to your hair anon made me think: would you consider Harry as an unreliable narrator?? Kid is pretty clueless tbf

I don’t think he’s unreliable in the way that he distorts the narrative. I think Harry’s quite perceptive in reading people/situations well when he pays attention. Harry’s field of focus in narrowed t his experience though.

He’s grown up in an abusive house and got thrust right into danger and threats when he started school. He’s primed to protect himself, it’s his survival instinct to be aware of his surroundings. Add in his internal drive to save/help people…

He’s not clueless, he just doesn’t have room to pay attention to irrelevant thing/happenings. For example, Ginny and Hermione are actually close friends. We learn this later on when Ginny says she talked with Hermione about Harry. Prior to that, that wasn’t something Harry noticed or noted.

And of course I’m gonna insert something from myself… He was oblivious to the epic love story between Dean and Seamus in the background including pining, jealousy (Ginny), separation (Dean on the run), and reunion (at the battle!).

Bones by will woods is so romantic in a mental illness kinda way. and i love that. What a better show of than pealing away my own skin an flesh for my lover to inspect all my deepest brittle parts of me.

resurrection is sort of romantic, isnt it

craving pathetic wet old women characters. where is the feminism

I can't think of a nutcracker pun

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

Charles “We’ve got literally forever to figure out what the rest means” Rowland

I really should draw Soap more with his red mask, as you all can tell I love it

first base is wound tending second base is hand touching

Me: i dont rlly care about minecraft rp characters having canon sexualities, I feel like most servers just go from the fantasy books logic in wich this is a place ppl just don't have labels at all and/or characters are matched by the plot and their orientation is simply malleable by plot priorities and that's fine...

Bagi, cellbit, fit, jaiden, mike and bad: here is my character that is canonicaly gay/lesbian/aroace/aro and their orientation is brought up and it makes them have even more depth when considering backstory and current storyline

Me:

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

did y'all know that donna's husband in forest of the dead was meant to be a trans man, and they just couldn't find a way to make it explicit in-text

donna noble manages to get herself a trans family in every version of reality huh

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

An old friend