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therealbeachfox · 2 months

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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

00000

We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

00000

So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

00000

Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

00000

We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

00000

They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

00000

There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

00000

It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

00000

When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.

#gay marriage #gay rights #gay history #gay

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yewstronaut · 11 months

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🦇

#you know what sucks/hurts?#my mom who is a self-titled allied hasn't wished me or my partner a happy pride #but she will send us messages for every single one of the xtian holidays even tho she knows we don't celebrate them #even the random amer*can ones like st paddy's day (I know it's not amer*can in origin but the way it's celebrated here is not the same lol)#four of july #thanksgiving all of those (thankfully minus Columbus day)#but yeah it stings #she forced me out of I got my first gf then proceeded to spend the next couple years trying to convince me I was bi n #and should date my male friend even when I was in a relationship #then when I came out as trans she reacted even worse #finally she's fucking using my pronouns and not trying to set me up with every other dude I'm friends with #but will she wish me a happy pride? nope #will she wish me a merry/happy solstice/equinox? nope #yeah idk it's just frustrating #my identity is acceptable so long as she doesn't have to really acknowledge it #and don't even get me started on my nana

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sixty-silver-wishes · 28 days

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honestly, I think there’s something really neat about easter and trans day of visibility coinciding on the same day this year. christians celebrate easter to commemorate jesus’ resurrection after the crucifixion, and the holiday is associated with life and rebirth. and I’m not trans, but I know a lot of trans people who use the theme of rebirth to express their own experiences with transitioning. there’s a shared theme of immense suffering followed by the joy of being born again. I think about how jesus was said to have shown the disciples the scars on his hands from the cross after being resurrected, and of the culture surrounding gender-affirming surgical scars in the trans community, and how scars are seen as a symbol of becoming someone new.

I was refreshing myself on the biblical passage (john 20:24- what a coincidence!) and was struck by this interpretation from the central congregational church:

I left organized religion a long time ago, but something about the fact that these two days coincide this year is really beautiful to me. happy easter and trans day of visibility to all who celebrate :)

#easter #trans day of visibility #christianity #religion #trans

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spacelazarwolf · 1 year

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Forgive me if I'm wrong about anything. I'm not Jewish but I was raised for a good part of my life by a Jewish stepmom and am planning to convert when my life offers me that stability. But. Something I notice relating to the "Hitler burned queer stuff first" and j general desire to make oneself a victim of Nazism is that American kids are mostly taught about Judaism through like, media that is targeted at non-Jewish people and is trying to almost beg them for empathy. Average gentiles have very little knowledge about Jewish life - both joy and suffering, something that came as a bit of a shock to me as gentile who grew up with stepsiblings/mom celebrating holidays, going to temple, having a sense of community, and being aware of the levels of antisemetic violence in their area. My point is that a lot of people on the left tend to think of Jewish people as like. white people with a different religion. Instead of members of a complex culture. Thus, it's easy to ignore people like Magnus Hirschfield or pretend you could be someone the Nazis targeted. Does any of that make sense? Sorry. U probably know all that already but I'm tired of yelling it at my Catholic friend hehe

oh 100000000% this.

i feel like one piece of media that really portrays this weird attitude of victimization that a lot of white non roma gentiles have when it comes to the holocaust (and before anyone comes for me, i'm not saying queer and trans people aren't targeted by nazis) is "boy in the striped pajamas." it's a film that has been widely criticized by jews and scholars for misrepresenting many elements of the holocaust, and because the main message of it is "wow isn't it sad that this poor little gentile boy died??????" you're not supposed to be sad that millions of jews and roma were being murdered, you're supposed to be sad because bruno's not a jew or roma and was killed on accident. and i feel like that really feeds into this mindset of "it could have been me!!!!! therefore this is actually all about me!!!!!"

i often see queer people say things like "well the jews were released immediately after the war ended but queer people were kept in prisons!!!!!!" as if jews and roma got to just go about their normal lives. what actually happened is that several thousand of them died from health complications caused by starvation and poor living conditions in the camps, and the ones who survived returned to their homes only to face more pogroms, discrimination, or complete denial from their gentile neighbors who had turned a blind eye.

what queer and trans gentiles really need to realize is that when it comes to the holocaust, hitler's targeting of queer and trans people is entirely inseparable from antisemitism. i mean even a lot of modern anti trans sentiments are ultimately rooted in antisemitism. the sooner they realize that, the sooner they can stop acting like we can only care about one group at a time.

#ask avishai

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in1-nutshell · 4 months

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Tfa Team Prime spending Christmas with human buddy -familia-

Merry Christmas or whatever thing you're doing for the holidays!

Hope you enjoy!

Team Prime celebrating Christmas with Human Buddy

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Human reader

TFA

Buddy insisted on making sure the Bots had a good Christmas.

The Bots had been a bit hesitant in celebrating the holiday after what happened last year. They were a bit paranoid in most things associated with the day.

But thanks to a certain techno organic they relented.

"Please Prime?"--Buddy

"Don't give in Prime! You're stronger than this!"--Ratchet

"I'm sorry but I don't think so."--Optimus

"I didn't want to do this... Sari!"--Buddy

"Please Optimus? Please?"--Sari

"...Okay."--Optimus

"Yes! C'mon Buddy! I know where Dad keeps the lights!"--Sari

"Yeah!"--Buddy

"She pulled the optics on you didn't she?--Ratchet

"... I'm so weak..."--Optimus

Optimus is absolutely shredding the guitar on Trans Siberian orchestra songs. How did Optimus find a guitar his size and was able to learn all of these songs? He is not telling anyone... except Buddy. They supplied the young Prime with a secret stash of Rock and Metal Christmas themed songs.

"Wow Boss Boy where did you learn that!?"--Bumblebee

Flashback to Prime sneaking out with Buddy to practice his guitar in an old factory by the docks.

"Ummm... Natural talent?"--Optimus

Ratchet and Prowl are for the supervision and stories. They both need to supervise everyone at all times. Ratchet refuses to get into the oil nog despite Buddy assuring him that they have been keeping an eye on the drinks. If something does happen, Ratchet at least wants to remember what happened. Prowl has only a little. He later participates in a game of Twisters with Buddy.

Prowl getting ready to play Twisters with Buddy by doing hardcore stretches.

"... This... This was a horrible decision."--Buddy

Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Sari are singing and playing all sorts of games. From an intense game of Twisters to Christmas themed games. Bee and Bulkhead try to get into the presents, but Buddy and Sari have to stop them.

"HOW COULD YOU?!"--Bulkhead

"I DID WHAT HAD TO BULK! YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING!"--Bumblebee

"THAT'S IT! I'M TAKING BUDDY WITH ME!"--Bulkhead

"I'M TAKING SARI THEN! GETTING READY TO SEE ME IN COURT!"--Bumblebee

"Okay maybe we should put the Monopoly away now..."--Buddy

"You think?!"--Sari

The day ended with a giant sleepover near the tree watching the snow gently fall onto the window of the plant.

#transformers #transformers x reader #maccadam #transformers animated #tfa optimus prime #tfa prowl #tfa sari #tfa bumblebee #tfa ratchet #tfa bulkhead #human buddy

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roguekhajiit · 24 days

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TW: Transphobia

I had my first ever encounter with a transphobic member of the LGBTQ community this week.

At work on Monday, I overheard some co-workers discussing Transgender Day of Visibility and how President Biden issued a statement acknowledging Trans Day. Since it just so happened to occur on the same day as Easter this year, my very close-minded co-workers took that and Biden's statement as evidence that Trans people are trying to take over Easter!

Now, I consider myself to be Non-binary (specifically Demi-girl/Agender), but I tend to fly under the radar, which is very helpful since I live in a very, very red state. It doesn't hurt that my normal sense of personal style is very casual and all black. So, I can wear traditionally "men's" pants, and no one pays much attention to me, which is the way I prefer it. I hate anything that draws attention to myself.

So, I bit my tongue and hyperfocused on my work. Then, when I went home, the non-binary gremlin in me just couldn't be contained anymore; I opened Reddit and made a post about how no one is going around trying to steal stolen holidays.

Now, I was fully anticipating pissed off Christians to rain their uninhibited fake outrage down onto the comment section (which happened) but I wasn't anticipating a self-identified 60 yr old gay man to come into my comments saying things like, "Why would you put a Trans holiday anywhere near a religious holiday knowing every seven years it's gonna land on said holiday" and "As a gay man I believe that the one part of our community is stifling the rest of us."

Tell me you're transphobic without telling me you're transphobic.

Now, since I can't just ignore the sheer inaccuracy of his math; according to Google from 2001 to 2100, Easter will only land on March 31st 5 times. Five times in an entire century. The last time Easter was on March 31st, it was 2013. So, 11 years ago, or over a decade ago. No one gave a shit in 2013 that Easter and Trans Day were on the same day. But let the president acknowledge it in a statement and everyone loses their fucking minds.

So, why would you avoid celebrating something important in your life on the off chance that it might coincide with someone's religious holiday? Of course, you wouldn't. If your birthday is on Christmas, do you no longer have a birthday?

"Next, why wouldn't you place it in the month of pride then each day of pride month could have a different day celebrating each letter of the lbgtq+ community."

Yes, that is what Pride Month is for, celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community. But are you gay only in June?

But sadly, even some in our diverse community isolate and vilify trans individuals just like what this old gay dinosaur is doing. For 15 years, a vast majority didn't know or even give a shit that Trans Day existed. That is until a president acknowledged it.

"May I point out there's no gay holidays that coincide with Yom kipper or Ramadan."

True, Yom Kippur and Ramadan don't coincide with any "gay holidays," but Shavout is directly in the middle of Pride Month. Any outrage there?

"So just piss off the Christian's so they have one more thing to hate us for. I find many in our community asking for acceptance while giving none, just my opinion and nothing more."

How very accepting of you to say, my lord.

"Maybe it's time we all in the gay community and cis people give the whole year to the Trans community."

But they aren't asking for the year, or even a month. They just want one day that is their own. And even members of our own LGBTQ+ community can't even give them that.

"I'm gay so I can't be transphobic."

Your statements say otherwise. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you are absolved of your transphobia.

Perhaps it's time we stop placating these dusty ass old gay dinosaurs and call them out on their hateful thinking. Their "I got mine" attitude only harms our communities. Just because you won the fight for same sex marriage doesn't mean you're safe. The fight for equality is never-ending.

More and more of us are having our rights stripped away right before our very eyes. Roe v. Wade has already been overturned, and they aren't going to stop there. They never planned to stop there. They are very methodically chipping away at our rights. Right now, they are focusing their efforts on the trans community, slowly outlawing their very existence. And while they have you distracted by that, they are quietly overturning same sex marriage laws. Your rights aren't safe and never will be safe as long as we have members in our communities who subscribe to this kind of thinking.

#trans community #trans day of visibility #transgender #trans rights #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#lgbtqplus #transphobes #reddit #nonbinary #demigirl #demisexual #agender

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haveyoureadthistransbook · 2 months

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TransRightsReadathon Sales & Freebies!

I will be collecting books that are reduced or made available for free by authors for the TransRightsReadathon here. Feel free to share any that you know of that I might have missed:

Queeird: A Collection of Unusual Trans Masculine Erotica edited by Max Turner | ebook 2,80 £, paperback 6,30 £

Androids and aliens, werewolves and vampires, furries and… tentacles? This is a collection of unusual, and at times monstrous, erotica featuring trans masculine characters. From the ridiculous to the romantic, expect kinks, quirks and tropes. All the stories feature trans masculine main characters, with a variety of cis, trans female, trans male and non-binary lovers.

Deck the Holes by WrenVLothaire | ebook 0.50$

It’s Yule, a celebration Aloysius is well versed in but never has the time of year been his favorite. But with Malachai, a partner with whom he’s come to love and cherish, this holiday may not be as somber as it’s always been. This time he has a surprise in store. Let’s just hope the owner of the home approves of the decorations. t4t, trans man MC

Tales of Genesis I-III by H.S. Wolfe | ebook free, (the book one that these short stories are based on costs 1.99$)

Out of the Rain by TinyLesbianRobot | ebook 0.50$

Echo interrupts a lazy morning with a strange request of Ender. The first in a series of shorts set in the Genesis universe and can be read as a stand alone without having read In The Garden Of Echo t4t, trans man MC & trans woman MC

The weather has taken a turn, forcing Flax and Lost to rush for shelter. But now that they've found a place to dry off, Lost's drenched clothes are clinging to her, and Flax is finding it difficult to keep from staring... This story is a non-canon short set in the world of my novel 'Messenger': just under ten thousand words of warm, fluffy, robot-on-angel-on-human smut, a cozy and affectionate scene between women who love each other a whole lot. transfemme MC

Rien Gray's Trans Rights Readathon Sale | ebooks 60% off, $6.00 for 2 books

Follow a fellowship of sapphic knights as they’re seduced by witches, queens, goddesses—and each other—in a dark, lush fantasy inspired by Arthurian legend. genderfluid butch MC, agender MC

Valerin the Fair by Rien Gray | ebook free (+ other free sapphic books)

genderfluid butch MC

Our Monsters by Jemma Topaz | ebook 69% off, $1,23

Rosemary Dulahan, answering a strange job posting, arrives in Monstertown – a place inhabited by magical beings from another world. Navigating the politics of sphinxes, lamias, and secrets, she must learn how to get along with her non-human coworkers and maybe romance a few monster girls along the way. There's nothing she wants less than getting caught up in a murder mystery troubling all of Monstertown… but the mystery doesn't care what she wants, and she's about to discover the darker side of her new world. trans woman MC

A.A. Fairviews TransRightsReadathon Bundle | ebook free

In celebration of the second TransRightsReathon you can grab A Doctor's Touch and Peaceful in the Dark for free. Following a trans masc vampire and queer werewolf- these stories are as sweet as they are sensual. transmasc MC

Bury your Gays & Bound in Flesh | ebook free

Anthology of tragic queer horror & anthology of trans body horror by ghoulish books

The Fealty of Monsters by Ladz | ebook free

Winter 1917. After years on the run from a dangerous cult, twenty-three-year-old Sasza and his father have established themselves among the Odonic Empire’s ruling class. But there’s a problem: Sasza is a vampire, and vampires aren’t supposed to get involved in human governance. What the aristocracy doesn’t know, after all, cannot hurt them. Unfortunately, Sasza is far more involved than a stealth vampire should be. Not only does he work to quell the rumors of the vampires’ responsibility for an unsolved massacre, his lover is also the pro-proletariat Ilya, the Empire’s Finance Minister, who tries to recruit Sasza into the same cult hunting him. Then—the Emperor declares war against the Vampire States. Diplomacy has failed. Sasza quickly learns that he will do anything to preserve peace–including giving in to the monstrosity he spent so many years concealing from even himself. nonbinary MC

Trans Readathon by Wicked Witch Writes | ebook 50% off, $5

Your Body is Not Your Body anthology | ebook $1,99

A centaur seeks illicit surgery in an alien bodily modification club. Two medieval monks react to their transformation and demonic pregnancy in very different ways. A resourceful trans teen destroys sports bigots through the power of pluckiness...and abundant body horror. A stellar cathedral crosses galaxies to dump the corpse of God into a star before the mission devolves into a panoply of psychedelic orgies. A doxxed teen falls victim to violent assault and dishes out some harrowing retribution of their own. Over thirty Trans and Gender Nonconforming creators unite to voice their rage, and the rules of conventional Horror go out the f$%&ing window in this collection featuring murderous pleasure-bots; proselytizing zombies; acid-filled alien cops; science run amok; sorcerers, ghouls, cannibals...and that barely scratches the grave-dirt.

Blood from Stone by Bellamy Scott | ebook PWYW

Hitting a deer while driving a country road is unfortunate, but common enough that no one expects it to re-order the fabric of reality as they know it. For Sam, a rogue stag on a summer night takes his husband, his life, and his name in a single blow. As months of grief pass, he things he's begun to get used to his new reality, until an encounter with a childhood friend changes it all over again. BLOOD FROM STONE is a story of an old lady doing good deeds for bloody boys on the side of the road, of poisoned wine, and of a trans man Becoming Real.

Becoming Light by Riley Nash | ebook free

When people meet me, they see a bright faced, happy-go-lucky kindergarten teacher who will do anything to support his friends. Not everyone knows the struggle I’ve faced to become the man I am today. Now it’s finally time for the gender-affirming surgery I’ve been dreaming of for years. But when an emergency leaves me without a caretaker, the only person who can take me in is my best friend’s aloof, reclusive, and incredibly sexy dad. The one who has no bedside manner and struggles to communicate. The one I’ve had a crush on for years. The deeper we see into each other’s worlds, the stronger the attraction gets. I’m not sure either of us can make it through the next four days without giving in. Trans man MC

TransRightsReadathon Sale by Matthew Zakharuk | ebook 50% off, $2.50

a story of trans transhumanism + a dystopian gothic

#not a poll #mod post #free books #books on sale #transrightsreadathon

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girlcrushart · 27 days

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Guess what today is, folks! That's right, it's International Trans Day of Visibility! Oh and it's also Easter, I guess. The fact that by total coincidence both of these have fallen on the same day sure is upsetting to a whole bunch of unreasonable people—especially that the President of the United States had the nerve to acknowledge it! One of the people most upset about it was Caitlyn Jenner, ironically one of the most visible transgender people on earth, who seems to think other trans people don't deserve the same basic rights afforded to her for some reason. I'm honestly not even going to try to understand it. Instead I'm going to celebrate by posting Hunter Schafer, who is also a highly visible trans person, and most likely one that really really upsets the crowd that can't share their weird resurrection holiday with other groups. You see, Hunter Schafer is stupid-hot, and has no doubt caused God-fearing individuals to be attracted to her, knowing deep inside that Jesus would disapprove, hence feeling real bad about themselves. The irony of course is that Jesus would be cool with trans people, because even tho it has gotten all twisted and complicated over the last 2000-some years to represent all kinds of madness, if you pay close attention to the things Jesus actually said and did, he was a pretty cool dude who made space for everyone. So, here's my very on-theme post for the day that includes a visible trans person, in a very Eastery outfit, and a shoutout to Jesus on one of his special days. Today's girlcrushart guardian is Hunter Schafer.

#hunter schafer #girlcrushart #trans day of visibility

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wutheringmights · 1 month

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AUTHORS COMMENTARY FOR NEW CTB PLSSSSS😭😭😭

Thank you! I would be more than happy to explain myself.

My commentaries have, historically, been a pain in the butt to read on a formatting level. I have attempted to fix this by breaking up the commentary into labeled sections. Consequently, this led to me writing out way more than I normally would.

So, enjoy.

[The Past]

Pre-Festival & Festival Day

As I mentioned previously, I wrote a significant part of this past section for the last chapter-- all the way up until Link asks for Icarius’s name. I ended up cutting the chapter into two for space, which meant that there was a few weeks between writing the first and second half of the icarius stuff.

I really did not spend as much time with the latter half as I wanted to, and I think it suffers for it. I’ll elaborate on that in a second. Let’s try to stick to talking about the chapter in a somewhat chronological order.

I joked about this last weekend, but Jakucho is extremely funny for hearing Link speculate about Icarius and Nephus and deciding, “Yup. Not my problem. Have fun with that.” Of course, she thinks he’s obsessed with Nephus and not Icarius.

Gaze upon my weak attempt to confirm Ayane is trans. I think this might have been a bit of a clunky way to do it. I never know how to get characters to confirm their identities without it sounding too much like a script read. Hopefully, this was at least clear if not entirely blatant.

Holidays are such an important part of world building, and I think it is very silly when you are in a fun little fantasy world and they celebrate not-Christmas or the like. That being said, sometimes you are so exhausted of any ideas that you have to sit down and say “Fuck it. Off-brand Halloween.”

That being said, having a holiday to mourn the loss of the Sacred Realm feels fitting for the world, even if the inclusion of masks was a bit clunky.

I really do think an under-explored area of Zelda lore is that the goddess’s realm is just... gone. Corrupted. Where are the goddesses now that the Sacred Realm is the Dark World? Is there a holy crusade to restore the Dark World to the Sacred Realm? I think Nintendo could do a dark fantasy spin off about this. Or when I finally get around to running that Hyrule homebrew DND campaign I have been cajoling my friends into playing, I’ll make it a plot point.

Now that I am typing this, I am realizing that I really should have had a little moment where all the masks forces Link to remember the child. Fuck.

In my original vision, Icarius was going to be very polite and quiet while at Jakucho’s estate, only for his next scene to be him snarking at some guys during a bar fight. What a bait and switch that would have been.

When I was a kid, I genuinely thought that the keaton mask was supposed to be a Pikachu mask (in part because I had only seen it in my cousin’s copy of Super Smash Bros). Hence, the yellow fox vs yellow mouse banter.

Link’s House / Icarius Backstory

Writing Icarius and Link banter was surprisingly difficult. I have this whole vision in my head about these two being loving to verbally spar with each other. And for some reason, the dialogue was just not flowing the other day.

And by the other day, I mean that a part of my major revisions the day of posting was to fix this entire section. Did it work? Not really. But I got a D grade prose up to a B-, and that was going to have to do.

My biggest gripe is their conversation in Link’s house, where Icarius info-dumps his entire backstory. In my brain, this scene would have felt dark and moody while still being a little romantic. They definitely hit all the points I needed them to hit for the plot, but it just... it’s so stilted. It doesn’t feel like Icarius is unloading years-worth of grievances on someone who he can trust to listen, if only for a night. It feels like Icarius is reading from a script. Ugh.

There was going to be an in-story explanation from Icarius as to why his hair is bleached that never actually came up. For those curious, it’s that Nephus had the grand idea first to bleach his hair but was worried it wouldn’t look good. So he had Icarius dye his first. Sure enough, he thought it looked terrible and decided to not go through with his end. Icarius was going to be very annoyed by that and would bitch about how long it would take for him to grow it out again.

I originally was not going to give him the bleached hair to begin with, but after everyone made fun of Warriors for not recognizing him in the first place, I felt like I had to make a significant change to his appearance. It actually helped to get him to play the role I needed him to play in Link’s post-war problems.

Let’s rewind. In my original outline, Icarius was never here in Kakariko. This entire chapter would have instead been Link deciding on his own terms to get over his hang-up over being involved with men and going out to flirt with one. This would have been a random soldier who had been discharged and was just passing through town on his way home from the war. Link would have subconsciously been attracted to him because he resembled the engineer.

For example, he would have made some comment about liking how strong his hands were.

This soldier was truly going to be a random guy. At most, he would have mentioned rooming with a friend on-leave named Arlo (who appeared earlier in story as a soldier in the trenches). The whole point was that Link felt like he could connect with another person as long as he didn’t give them a chance to look too deeply into him.

But after the House of Nephus characters were all introduced, I realized I needed to find some way to elaborate on them. Switching out the random soldier for Icarius was the easiest move.

Does it work? Kinda? It definitely helps the obsession plotline, but the original point got lost among all of the Icarius backstory.

So, Icarius backstory. I feel terrible for everyone who was looking forward to Link being swept away in a beautiful, touching romance. I tried to warn you.

Icarius and his relationship with Nephis is fascinating to me, and I really feel like I only have time to scratch the surface. Icarius is very smart, but believes that Nephus is one the “good ones.” But he can see that Nephus is starting to lose respect for him, so he plays these tricks to remind him that he’s still needed. He knows its foolish but his entire like has encompassed Nephus and he’s scared to know what it would look like without him. It works for a while, but not long enough. The reader knows that it stops working because that smart mouth of his that always picks fights gets taken away.

And that’s not even addressing the greater society Icarius lives in or the way Philo’s addition changes things for him even more.

All that’s to say that even if Icarius is not the perfect romantic lead people were hoping for, I intended to suggest in-story that if either him or Link were in different circumstances, there could be something there.

I actually really like the idea of Warriors’s love interest being an agent of an enemy state who is mean to him in the exact way he thinks is hot. Instead of inventing Hylian soldier or Sheikah warrior OC’s to be Warriors’s love interest, can there be more of this? It doesn’t even need to be Icarius. I just think falling-in-love with-the-enemy-but-the-enemy-is-a-shithead-about-it is an extremely funny dynamic.

There is also nothing funnier than Icarius thinking he’s met a nice, normal guy only to realize mid-act that he Messed Up

Also I hope this contexts helps fill-in the blanks for some of Icarius’s actions in the present day, which is no doubt a lot of “oh crap, it’s that guy I screwed that one time” and “how dare you forget about the one time we screwed!”

Post-Icarius Timeskip

I really needed to spend a few days at least on that last bit about Link’s realization. It’s so pivotal for his character, and I really just shoved it in at the end there. I’m going to have to add a lot of flowery prose to the beginning of next chapter to make up for it.

That being said, it’s important to me that there really isn’t a specific trigger for him realizing what he’s done. He just finally feels comfortable and safe enough for his brain to start processing everything he did.

It was very important to me that Link decided to stop dwelling in his past by putting a bowl into his cabinet, only for that bowl to break when he realizes what he’s done. Symbolism and stuff.

[Present Day]

Ganondorf’s Arrival & Townhouse

I’m really happy that so many of you were excited for Ganondorf’s arrival last chapter. That scene was so cheesy that I was worried it would dampen the excitement of actually getting to see him.

Originally, Ganondorf and Lincoln were going to have their argument in a bedroom, but I moved it to the foyer for convenience sake. But in my mind, I never moved Lincoln’s starting place from hiding in Ganondorf’s room, hence why he started the scene at the top of the stairs and not a more logical spot (in the hallway).

The reason it was going to be in the bedroom was because I thought Lincoln had snuck past Ganondorf’s guards and housestaff. But they all know about Lincoln, so it made more sense for Lincoln to subtly enter through the back entrance. It’s a whole thing.

I think my favorite part of the Chain already being at Ganondorf’s house is that there’s an implied subplot that happened off-screen where they plus Lincoln had to go hunting for where they thought Ganondorf was staying.

When Spirit pretends to not know who Ganondorf is, there was going to be a joke where the boys are trying to explain everything and he’s like “oh, so we’re all being racist here.” I ended up cutting it because, well, they were being racist.

Speaking of which, the whole thing with the maid calling Warriors “my lady” is that Warriors was going to try to gently correct her (because he thinks she’s stupid), only to find out that she was just being passive aggressive

Some may remember that one of the hardest cuts I made to CTB was a reporter OC. You can definitely tell that I am massively regretting that cut right now. Imagine how could it would have been for Warriors to pressure this antagonist journalist who’s been reporting all his fuck-ups into helping him fix everything. That sub plot would have been so good.

I was going to have a few of the other heroes confront Warriors as to why he credited Zelda, reaching a similar conclusion that his narration provided. Ended up cutting it for space.

A lot of the black blood stuff that I came up with for this chapter really doesn’t hit with LU, but at this point, I really don’t care.

There’s something about how Spirit viewing monsters and humans the same resulting in him very easily killing people while also being the only one who would realize that black blooded monsters could have always been cured, had anyone thought about it before. I just enjoy the way this man thinks.

Also, Spirit really enjoying spicy food is such a stupid character quirk, and I am almost ashamed of how much effort I went to develop it. Originally, I wanted Wild to get so fed up with Spirit being unimpressed with his cooking that he would demand Spirit to cook one night, only to discover that he actually can’t cook and just overcompensates with a shit-ton of hot sauce.

Ganondorf’s speech about how to win a war is partly the result of me spending months ruminating about how the Triforce could be used to end a war ethically, and partly an exploration of how Ganondorf thinks

I wanted to do one last scene of everyone leaving, where Wind would confront Time about being an asshole to Ganondorf. I cut it for space, then convinced myself that I would have time to add it back in, only to then cut it for time. My apologies to the Wind fans who have gotten nothing as of late.

Hospital & Family Dinner

I said before that I wasn’t initially going to rescue Toto until the end, which means that I had no plan for how Toto would feel until now. I realized that Toto was just... done. He wanted no part in Warriors’s life any longer. Unlike Kat, who got a lovely send off, I think this will be the last we see of Toto: an unfinished, unresolved mess of emotions.

When I was first describing Lincoln’s casual fit, I remember thinking to myself that I was just describing a semi-retired aged rockstar. The image has not left my brain, and if I was willing to throw a few more anachronisms into the story, I would have 100% described Lincoln like that.

Fun fact: Orlanda’s family was going to come back in the form of her sibling being a prominent member of the rebellion. I didn’t do it because it was getting ridiculous how many relevant people were related to each other.

When I was first coming up with Linkle’s character, I had the idea that she had that shallow form of feminism where it’s a big win for women everywhere when, say, generic action heroine wears pants. So I had it in my mind that Linkle hates dresses on principle. So during the fever dream sequence, when Warriors dreamt that Linkle was fawning over a dress, it was to show that he didn’t really know her that well.

But I never really established this idea that well and no one knew this about Linkle, so into a dress she goes.

I told myself that I was going to scour the entire story to double check if I had ever described Lincoln laughing anywhere, but never got around to it. But the nice thing about unreliable narrators is that if I get something wrong, I can just blame Warriors (that is not really how unreliable narrators work)

I have a friend who “tee-hees” while she laughs, and it’s the cutest thing ever. I just think it would be fun if Lincoln also has an adorable little kitten laugh.

I had to look up how they build roads on dunes for this chapter.

I did write the full Lincoln and Ganondorf backstory in a post way back when, if anyone wants to review it. It would be nice to get to get all the small details into the main story, but it’s really not pertinent to any of the main action

I definitely talked about Niko before, but I can’t find the posts. To refresh: Niko is Spirit’s uncle, in that he’s a member of the Macaryll family but no one can remember who he’s actually related to. Spirit’s parents are dead, and he lived with a different uncle and aunt until his apprenticeship. Then he moved in with Niko since he lived near Alfonzo.

Warriors hating chocolate is a character quirk that’s not necessary to the story, but I just think is too funny to not go out of my way to include

The idea of Linkle and Lincoln dancing came from a completely different scene idea. I played around with doing a similar set-up while the Chain is on the road to the Zora’s Domain. The scene would start with Sky showing Lana how to do a Skyloftian dance, which would lead to everyone else showing off their moves. When Warriors admits that he doesn’t think he could dance anymore, Spirit would teach him a New Hyrulean dance that required only one hand.

That led to an idea of Warriors dancing with Linkle and Lincoln, then just Linkle and Lincoln dancing themselves.

The night was going to end with Warriors forgetting his scarf and, when he went back to get it, he would overhear Lincoln venting to Ganondorf about how the whole stepping up as the parent thing is going. This got cut because it’s more fascinating when you’re forced to infer that a character is thinking.

The Walk Back & Out Dancing

This scene of Warriors and Spirit walking back together and opening up is my real pride and joy this chapter, which unfortunately got massively overshadowed by everything else.

So I will now take time to gush.

Spirit’s photography... so I wanted to give this man a hobby because the man cannot just like trains. I know everyone headcanons it as his hyperfixation, but it’s also his job. He needs a richer life than just that one thing. Granted, I took the route of making him start as a trainspotter like the Spirit Tracks NPC Ferrus.

I just feel like I am so correct about Spirit liking photography. I want this to be my cultural impact. I know I said that already about Icarius, but I mean this more. Go forth and give that man a camera.

The official document Spirit was carrying around was his engineering license.

Also, I was 100% ready for everyone to flood me with questions about Spirit’s ex-boyfriend. After the ickywars ordeal, I figured that there was a significant chance y’all wouldn’t be normal about him. I was prepared. And you know what? I’ve heard zilch. So, let me info dump about this man now.

Spirit’s ex-boyfriend is named Jean. He is on the cusp of 30 (compared to Spirit’s 23/24). He’s a mechanic, which is a few steps below Royal Engineer. He lost his leg in a work accident when a piece of machinery fell on him. They met through work. Spirit goes through phases of being a serial dater before swearing off dating for a few months, but Jean is the first person to make it past an awkward first date and hit relationship status. Spirit thought that because he was older, he would be more understanding.

And Jean tried. He really did. But Spirit is massive defensive and always on the offensive, so every slight disagreement turned into an explosive argument. Jean decided that he could not deal with someone who could not have a rational conversation with him, so he dumped him after 6 months. This was fairly recent, about three months before Spirit returned to Warriors’s era.

Spirit was going to name drop Jean in his speech later, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make it clear who Jean was without it sounding awkward.

I really like Spirit and Warriors’s conversation about Icarius, if only because it shows where their communication fails. When Warriors insists that you have a duty to disobey bad orders, he is criticizing himself for falling into the military mindset. This sounds like a criticism to Spirit, who insists that people will do anything under orders because that is what he did.

After Warriors has spent nearly every chapter since his amputation bemoaning his disability, I really wanted there to be a moment where he realizes that just because his ability level is different, he doesn’t have to give up doing everything he loves. That’s just an important lesson for him to learn, even if it is a little inspiration-porn-y.

The Hot Mess

You might realize that there is a massive elephant in the room I am not going to discuss here. That is because this post is going into the main tag. No one has complained to me yet, but let’s not tempt anyone right now. Just like the Neck Thing, I’ll make a separate post later for anyone who wants it. Just remind me in a few days.

With that being said--

Them sharing a cigarette was another scene that was originally conceived as taking place during the trip to the Zora’s Domain. Spirit’s anecdote about failing to make friends would have served as an early hint about his loneliness and inability to make friends.

I also have never smoked a cigarette before, so I had to sit there on wikiHow reading up on how to smoke one without coughing.

The half in Spirit’s four and a half attempts at quitting is this time he decided to quit, only to relapse after three hours. It was too short to count as a full attempt.

Spirit’s speech hopefully reveals what exactly is Spirit’s problem, both how he sees it and how it really is. Unlike Warriors, he never found support and healing once the war ending. No one understood his experiences, and his coping mechanism of lashing out ward away anyone who could help him. Spirit just wants to feel better, but he doesn’t know how.

Like... his whole thing about starting his own garage-- he’s a child prodigy who is used to be good at the things he does. He ended up tarnishing his own reputation, so he threw himself back into work because working on trains and fulfilling his dream is supposed to make him happy. He’s successful, but he’s not satisfied.

I was also expecting people to have a ton of questions about why Alfonzo disowned Spirit. In short, Spirit was already on a thin line with his lashing out and shitty attitude. Alfonzo was willing to let that slide until he realized Spirit was breaking work regulations to go on more runs without taking the legally required amount of time to rest inbetween. Spirit was a legal liability. He fired Spirit, but made it very clear that he was doing him a favor by not reporting him and getting his Royal Engineering license suspended.

No one else in New Hyrule knows the real reason why Spirit was fired, so they all assumed it was his personality. So he has a bit of a reputation now for being hard to work with.

Another thing that was not 100% conveyed in Spirit’s speech was that even if he didn’t hurt Zelda, he could not be with her because he does not want to be Prince Consort. His experiences in Warriors’s Hyrule thoroughly scared him off from politics, though he would have refused anyway since he would never give up being an engineer.

Fundamentally, Spirit is an extremely lonely person who has felt abandoned by everyone in his life. He knows that his life is the way it is now because of his experiences with Warriors. His guiding principle is trying to find some way to fix himself so that he can get the life he was supposed to have, one where he is happy and loved.

I just... god, I love this character.

And then there’s Warriors, who feels like he not capable of change and that any opportunity he has to change has been denied to him. Fixing Spirit and Time’s relationship was supposed to be a part of his redemption. Making Spirit happy was supposed to mean he’s forgiven. He has no friends, not in the Chain or in Toto. No one needs him.

Warriors also just means so much to me. I adore this disaster of a human being.

Warriors’s Plan Out

Does Warriors’s plan make sense? I am assuming it does since no one expressed confusion, but nearly every comment thus far has exclusively been about the Hot Mess (understandable).

There was a reason I was peeved I had to cut every chance in earlier in the story to go back to Castle Town, and it’s because I’ve known that it was going to be an extremely important location.

Warriors choosing to forgo a glorious revolution in favor of maintaining (if not manipulating) the status quo is not a great philosophy for our protagonist to be spouting in 2024. In my defense: a) I came up with this story in 2021, which was a different real world landscape, and b) Warriors would never become this ideal hero.

It feels more true for Warriors to not really become the idealized hero. His best is not that great. But if he can’t help being the worst, he could at least use his methods for good.

I have mentioned before that I have low empathy. Lincoln’s speech about people naturally being better or worst at being good is a product of a lot of my musing about how I sometimes feel frustrated and resentful at how hard I find it to follow the social cues that would make me a “better person.” Wouldn’t I be a better person if I had an easier time recognize when someone is in trouble and needs my help. Instead, I have to depend on myself to remember the cues, and I am so prone to mistakes.

I want to be a kind person. I want to be the best person anyone has ever met, but it’s an uphill battle. I feel like I am always working against myself. But it’s still important that I make the choice every day to be kind to others.

Besides, I have been told that I am more kind and helpful than other people, if only because I don’t rely on my feelings when deciding to reach out to others. So it has its perks.

I’m not saying Warriors has low empathy. I have expressly written him as someone with empathy. But my philosophy that kindness and caring for others is an active choice just felt like it belongs here.

There is story-canon low empathy character that I wanted to reveal in story to help Warriors beat the accusations and get people to not armchair diagnose him. I am still holding out hope I will have time and space to explore this in story, but if I don’t--

Four is written to have low empathy. It’s a consequence of the Four Sword splitting up his emotions, making it extremely difficult to tap into more than one emotion at a time, much less his empathy towards others. He can feel how this change in himself and has some thoughts on the whole thing.

Is that the end of the chapter. Fuck yeah. I’ve been working on this since Monday, If you read all this... congrats! I hope it was worth it.

Also, I forgot to mention that this is the end of Act 5. My act system is a scam and not that important, but I figured I should let you all know.

#your bonus fact is that i misspelled ganondorf's name about twenty different ways while writing this chapter #the swiftness and volume of demands for a commentary was very funny #y'all really wanted me to explain myself #bonus bonus fun fact is that it took all my will power to not formally name the chapter the Hot Mess #but like the neck thing we will just have this informal title for the scene in question lol #me rambling #lu ctb #ask #linked universe #anonymous #ctb spoilers #ctb commentary #ctb lore #fallenleafofmaple #meanlesbean #shoot-i-messed-up #savimatteo2810

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thatboreddrake · 4 months

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all you wonderful people!

@ghost-in-the-mine @heraldofcrow @bimbomcgee @scholar-sweeting @lady-of-ariandel @miss-mania @chibelial @catcas22 @a-vexually-transmitted-disease @trans-peridot @kerbal0154 @cosmonautcinnamonwarrior @ablondewerewolf @saccharinesanguis @cyberroses @eldritchforesthorror @nathanielthetallone @baerryjj @mold-lover @lostinmyheadforever2023 @kourumi @jokepool @zeptammie @skellish @traitorous-knight @cyrilthewolf @thistoowillpasss @eldenbiscuit @chiefexecutiveofnir @maranull @yezix @caelaan75 @idkwhattoputhere26 @witch-renna @patchesenthusiast @the-sea-bunny @doingthebestitcould @gideon-half-knowing @stars2flowers @trans-gothic-rose @emburbaguette @pineapplejazz

I may not interact with all of you a ton, but you are all wonderful people and very dear to me! Once more, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, Happy Holidays to those who don’t, and a Happy New Year to all! Wishing you all the best in the year to come!

#end of 2023 #merry christmas #happy holidays

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the-togepi-man · 27 days

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This following post is going to be very anti-religious. If that would bother you, so be it. But this is my blog, and I need to get my feelings out. I really dislike religion. I'm sure it helps some folks find meaning, but the amount of people that use it to look to a higher power and ignore those who they are sharing world with is saddening and infuriating. I am aware that many, if not all religions preach loving their fellow man. But the fact there needs to be an entity and their following to say that breaks me. How did we come so far as a species to somehow think we are better than those who are made the same way? Having to read this trans-visibility day "controversy" for being on Easter is insane. Yes there are those clearly just using it to hate monger, but there are those that genuinely believe this is some magical day where a fairy tale character came back to life, and it should be respected over real, living fucking people. Again, people are out there pushing down real, live, breathing, struggling, dreaming, loving members of their own fucking race to celebrate fiction. Those people in their lives, that see the people they know or care about prioritizing a holiday about a billion year old lie over their actual lives will feel that, and that part will live in their brain no matter how strong they are. Growing up as a gay, privalaged white man, I still feel it. I can't imagine those who have to deal with so much more than me. I've had some reasons to come to terms with morality and the fleetingness of life recently. I just want to let those know struggling internally, externally, or both- that your life is worth something to me. Worth far more to me than a magic book or some cosmic promise.

#while our paths had not connected for a very long time #i hope that those who struggle with their mental health and place in this world know they are not always alone

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smolvenger · 1 year

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Smolvenger Fanfiction Masterlist Updated 4/7/24

If you want to be tagged, let me know!! :)

REBLOGS, COMMENTS, AND ASKS ABOUT MY WORK ARE APPRECIATED! THANK YOU!!!

Star Wars:

Oneshots-

Life Day Gift: Din Djarin x Fem! Reader:

The Mandalorian kept looking directly at you through his helmet. “Where…where did you get that necklace?” he asked. “Old friend, Life Day Gift,” you answered.

Years ago you were friends with a young boy named Din, assumed to be dead when your village was attacked. Now it's Life Day, and the day shift at your job brings a Mandalorian with a secret...an unexpected reunion. (Warnings: Mentions of death and violence and an asshole kid at the beginning, mainly fluff)

Marvel:

Oneshots-

The Most Wonderful Time- Bucky Barnes x fem! Reader: Often, he sat down- troubled. Eyes glazing over nothing but there was something inside him. Something he wouldn’t say

Bucky isn't doing too well at the Christmas celebration with your family. You go to cheer him up. (Warnings: smut with dom! Reader and sub! Bucky, some fluff)

(Not) Alone on Christmas- Bucky Barnes x trans! Masc! Reader:

“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend!?” Bucky cried, hands on his hips.

You and Bucky fake date around the holidays. But you're definitely not interested in each other...unless...

(Warning: Brief Transphobic family member who gets shut down, some angst, but a lot of fluff)

Series-

I Say Nothing That Frightens Me: Loki x Fem! Reader.

Loki is alive and once I find him, I will tell him how I feel and-” “Y/N, he’s there with a woman he’s fallen in love with…”

Frigga sends you on a mission to find her son, who you secretly have feelings for since you were friends throughout your childhood. When you locate him with the TVA, you learn that he has fallen for some other woman named Sylvie and not you... More Coming Soon! (Warnings: Lots of angst, and an eventual happy ending)

Chapter One //Chapter Two//Chapter Three//Chapter Four Finale Coming Soon!(Continuing. Will be in Four Parts)

A Court of Mischief and Purpose: Loki x fem! Reader

“It is one week. Or you can kiss your life and your precious priest goodbye.”

Series Summary: Sarah J Maas's A Court of Thorns and Roses series is reimagined with Tom Hiddleston's various characters. You are dying of tuberculosis right before your upcoming wedding to the Lusty Vicar of Aldwinter, Will Ransome. The god of mischief Loki appears before you with a deal. He will heal you in time for the wedding...if you spend a week of every month with him. Opening you to a world of more magic and danger than you ever could imagine...

Masterlist Link here (ongoing!)

Masterlist for The Boat in the Water: A Beauty and the Beast Story: Loki x Stella Ransome miniseries

Summary: Having lost her health and her husband's fidelity and love, Stella has nothing more to lose than her life. Then...she is swept away to another realm, to an enchanted castle. A castle whose master is a god...a god with a striking resemblance to her husband.

One// Two//Three//Four//Five//Six

TBD

Tom Hiddleston Characters:

Oneshots-

Professor! Tom Hiddleston

Exam Aid- Prof! Tom x Reader (Request)

“Hello class- good morning. I’m your professor- Professor Hiddleston.”

When finals have gotten you down, your Shakespeare professor offers some help...and motivation... (SMUT)

Hot for Teacher- Prof! Tom x Reader (Request)

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!”

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Loki

The Ceremony- Loki x fem! Reader

"Now, all of you wish to watch? Then watch."

Summary: You and your dear prince, Loki of Asgard, are finally getting married. But in order for the marriage to be legitimate, your wedding night and consummation must be witnessed… (SMUT)

Seven PM Sharp- Loki x fem! Reader

Stupid, beautiful asshole with a great ass.

Summary: A sudden dinner "for the Avengers" changes everything about the relationship between you and a certain mischievous god... (SMUT)

The King of Asgard- Loki x fem! Reader

“Hail the King Loki! Hail the Queen Y/N!”

As the wife of Prince Loki of Asgard, you suddenly discover that Odin and Thor are gone. You are made queen and your dear husband is king. But a king needs an heir...(SMUT)

Reunion- Loki x fem! Reader

"He’s been gone for a bit- it’s been a few days."

The sacred timeline is destroyed. And your missing, mischievous lover has returned. A confrontation and a fear of abandonment and betrayal with his return still bring about the passion you have for each other. (SMUT)

Yggdrasil- Loki x fem! Reader

“Please…take me to him…it is all I want, all I wish, all I ask for..."

Your husband, the god of mischief, has made the ultimate sacrifice for his friends, and the world...he lives, but now he is alone...that is until you choose to join him in his solitude and make a life there.

My Goddess- Loki x fem! Curvy/Plus-Sized! Reader (Request)

'Don’t get carried away. You’re just not meant for romance, Y/N'

Amidst the pressures of school and your personal insecurities, you never expect your crush on the god of Mischief to be reciprocated...

Crimson Peak

Handsome Enough to Tempt Me.: Sir Thomas Sharpe x fem! Reader.

Yes, he was a stranger. Yes, you were alone with a man. But he seemed kind.

You were looking forward to a ball, but no one will dance with you and the night is turning sour. That is until you cross paths with a baronet with a talent for inventing... (TW: brief mentions of past abuse, but lots of fluff, a wee bit of hurt/comfort)

Half Agony, Half Hope: Sir Thomas Sharpe x fem! Reader

"And there’s something else…something you must know about me, about the man who’s going to be your husband…”

Your engagement with Thomas Sharpe makes him reveal the trauma of his childhood abuse with you. (TW: Mentions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse)

Coriolanus

Twenty-Seven Wounds- Caius Martius Coriolanus x fem! Reader

After a few months, you realized something- you had never seen him bare.

In ancient times, in a place that calls itself Rome, you find yourself married to the general Caius Martius or Coriolanus. He has fought so many battles he has twenty-seven scars on his body. Scars that he has not shown you yet...

The Night Manager

Summer In Majorca: Jonathan Pine x fem! Reader

“Listen, the point is- I will not be the one you settle for just because you can’t have Jed!” you cried.

A trip to Spain alongside Roper and his crew had you cross paths with a man mysterious as he is kind and heroic as he is handsome. But it seems he has eyes for Jed and not you...

(Warnings: Eventual Smut)

High-Rise

The Cure for Virginity: Dr. Robert Laing x fem! Reader

Men have the brothel. Women have Laing.

You recently moved into the High-Rise and befriended the Residents. But your new friend, Charlotte, thinks you've been a virgin for too long. She suggests someone to help with that. The best amenity in the building: Doctor Robert Laing.

Warnings: 18+, Eventual SMUT!!!!

Series:

The Essex Serpent

Stella of Essex or The Vicar's Wife Betrayed: Some Stella Ransome x Will Ransome, Eventually Stella Ransome x Male OC

"Aldwinter was not filled with the sound of a hissing Serpent but the crying of women and especially of wives."

What does that say when men, even priests, are the ones free to misbehave and innocent women are the ones punished? Here, we explore the life of a young woman named Stella. Sweet and proper, she is naturally the ideal woman for the 19th century's expectations, as well as those for a minister's wife. She falls in love and marries a handsome vicar named William Ransome. Despite the challenges, they build a peaceful, happy life together in their small town. But then Stella Ransome not only catches consumption but discovers her beloved husband is having an affair...

TW: Discussions of cheating and the trauma and grief it brings but the cheated-on spouse gets revenge). If you don't want to read about Will or Cora or their affair being portrayed negatively, you have been warned.The series is now complete!

Link to Masterlist Here

Prologue//One//Two//Three//Four//Five//Six//Seven//Eight//Nine//

Ten//Eleven//Twelve//Thirteen//Fourteen//Fifteen//Sixteen//

Seventeen

Stella's Second Husband: Stella Ransome x Male OC, a little of Stella x Will if you squint.

"Then, when I die. When I see God before judging my actions. I’ll only tell him- Lord, I loved a precious woman...And if I die from my love for her, then I can think of no sweeter death.”

Act One//Act Two (Complete)

The Pain of Being Betrayed by the ones you love hurts deeper than the bite of any mythical Serpent. Can Stella move on from Will and find a happy future with her new husband, Harry Cavardossi?

Warnings: Discussions of Suicidal Intentions. We get Two Tom Hiddleston's fighting each other. Some Steamy Stuff but no actual graphic smut. Drunkenness.

War Horse

Miss Narracott and The Captain: Captain James Nicholls x fem! Reader

Goodness, the uniform really did make him even more attractive! It made you dizzy.

Part One//Part Two//Part Three//Part Four//Part Five//Part Six//Part Seven//Part Eight-Finale Coming Soon!

Summary: You are Y/N Narracott, the older sister of Albert Narracott. You must do what you can so your family can keep their farm. And so your brother can keep his beloved horse. Under financial struggles, you never expect romance to come into your life...until you have a chance encounter with James Nicholls- a Captain with a knack for drawing. (Continuing)

Warnings: Light Slow Burn, some fluff, and some angst.

How To Fake Date A Spy: Jonathan Pine x fem! Reader

“Tell everyone you’re a couple, now. Go to a few parties and restaurants, hold arms, and smile at each other. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, sometimes!"

Part One//Part Two//Part Three Coming Soon!

When you joined your sister, Jed, for a lovely summer in Spain, you wanted to enjoy yourself. Instead, you have to deal with numerous men of Roper's business having a gross interest in you for more than small talk. Going to Roper for help, he offers an idea- pretending to be the date of his newest friend. A handsome sous-chef known as Thomas Quince. Little do you know yet, the man's real name is Jonathan Pine and he is on a mission to take Roper down...

The Hollow Crown

Used Goods- Prince Hal x Reader.

Why does he have to be The Prince of Wales? Why couldn’t he be just a tailor?

You are betrothed to your darling prince Hal, but the Law of Contract demands that you must be a virgin to marry the future King of England. This forces you to confirm a traumatic incident and secret from your past...how will Hal react? TW: Discussions of past sexual assault,"Who did this to you?", Hurt/Comfort, and comforting fluff.

Part One// Part Two

The Twelve Days- Prince Hal x Reader.

“You, luckiest of girls, are betrothed to marry none other than the King of England!” your mother cheered.

You were betrothed to marry none other than the young kind of England, a man you had never met. Now you must face your first celebration of the Twelve Days of Christmas not only as a queen but as a wife in a royal and still unconsummated marriage... TW: Smut, only a little angst, and lots of fluffy and romantic moments.

(Now Complete!)

One//Two//Three//Four//Five//Six//Seven//Eight

The Queen's Abduction- Henry V x fem! Reader (Request)

"You may not fear my father, you may not fear my brother- but you will fear the wrath of his majesty, the king"

Shortly after your secret marriage to the king of England, Henry V, a nefarious villain abducts you to be his...

Nursing The Prince- Prince Hal x fem! Reader

"You look at the prince like he was a honey-cake!"

You tend to Prince Hal's wounds after the Battle of Shrewsbury.

Arise Fair Sun- Henry V x fem! Reader

"Here, there are no eyes watching us. I can speak to you honestly"y.

One night, Henry appears under your balcony to confess his feelings to you.

The Wedding of The King- Henry V x fem! Reader

As king, Henry could have anything...But he could not have a wife who loved him.

Henry is looking forward to the wedding of his arranged marriage to you. You as The Bride, however, are not...

(Small Spinoff of The Twelve Days but can be read without that context)

The Battle of Agincourt- Henry V x fem! Reader

"The camp is far off. They won’t disturb us. They won’t hear us..."

As his wife and queen, you follow your husband, Henry the Fifth to France for his battles. It is the morning of the battle of Agincourt, and you don't know if he will make it out alive. You spend one last moment of passion together. (Contains Smut)

After The Battle- Henry V x fem! Reader

For many men, the lust for battle was only a flip of a coin from the lust of the body.

After your husband, King Henry V, wins and survives the battle of Agincourt, you meet him in his tent to reward him... (Contains smut)

The Tavern Prince- Prince Hal x Fem! Proper! Reader

You hated that he was the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on.

You are shocked and unhappy to find out you are betrothed to notorious rake, Prince Hal. But one evening, he sneaks you into the Boar's Head Tavern...and your mind about him starts to change. (SMUT)

BIRTHDAY BLURB MASTERLIST TBD

Taglist: @4stary @sonyascomet @asgards-princess-of-mischiefvelyn-kingsley @five-miles-over @jennyggggrrr @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @villainousshakespeare

REBLOGS, COMMENTS, DMS, AND ASKS ABOUT MY WORK ARE APPRECIATED! THANK YOU!!! If anyone wants to be added to the taglist or removed, please let me know! Thanks y'all!

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thezombieprostitute · 5 months

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Music in the Air

A/N: Written for Vee's Holly Jolly Challenge (@sstan-hoe). Reader is implied fem, "girls like me". No physical descriptors used.

Prompts: Bucky Barnes - My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on.

Summary: You and Bucky discuss poinsettias.

Bucky's arm was having problems. Again. In all the years he had the arm he never really got to understand how it worked. He could figure out how to fix a lot of things, but his arm wasn't one of them. That's why he was glad he had you to turn to. You had quickly become his go-to engineer in the Avengers Tower. You were a rare and delightful combination of "not afraid of him" and "not overly friendly". You would smile, but let him initiate the conversation when he wanted.

At least, normally you were his favorite. Ever since December started you only every played Christmas music in your lab. He was still trying to get used to how much the holiday had changed and the music was, well, a lot. Especially when you were always listening to some kind of heavy metal Christmas music and he had only ever heard Christmas music sung a capella or maybe a church organ.

"Do you really need to listen to that music all the time?"

You smiled while working, "I did the respectful thing and waited until December before I started listening."

"Yeah, but it's just so..." he struggled to find the words.

"Non-traditional?"

"Jarring."

"Well, Sergeant Barnes," you reply, setting your tools down, "My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on. However, I am willing to switch it for something that's maybe a little more your speed."

You walk over to your laptop and open up your playlist. It takes you a minute, but you finally find the song you're looking for and press the play button. As the speakers sing a lighter, slower tune, you turn back to Bucky, "you should be grateful. I don't turn off Trans Siberian Orchestra for just anyone."

Bucky blushed as he smiled, listening to the song. It was very different from what you had been listening to. For a start, there were lyrics. They told the story of a poinsettia named Percy and how had been overlooked and abandoned but grew and shone when given love. He almost smacked himself for having empathy for an imaginary plant.

To distract himself he said, "I'm surprised you like this song. It's so different from what you were listening to before."

You smile and respond, "it's a childhood favorite. This song just really hit my heart in a way no other Christmas song did. It stuck with me so much that, even in college if I saw my flowers for sale that were wilting or on their last legs, I'd buy them. Just to make sure they had love before they fully wilted."

Bucky looked at you with a softness in his eyes before you shook your head, "I know, it's stupid. I was an adult, I should've known better but some things just stick with you, you know?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know. Did you stop buying flowers because you kept getting them from dates or something?"

You chuckle, "I stopped because I had to prioritize my budget. I can't remember the last time I had flowers in my apartment. But thank you for the compliment."

"What do you mean? The guys you date don't give you flowers?"

"Girls like me don't get dates, Sergeant. I'm not whatever enough for guys to ask me out. Whether it's my size, my intelligence, my hobbies, there's just always something that keeps guys from asking me out, let alone bringing me flowers. But, again, thank you for the compliment."

You set down your tools and start putting them away, "your arm is all patched up. Hope this fix lasts you at least through the end of the year. I've got a lot of projects to finish up before the end of the year so I might not have the time to take care of you."

"You're not staying here for Christmas, are you?"

"I am," you nod. "My family celebrates holidays on days that aren't the day of so that we can avoid traffic and last-minute shoppers. So I set up an office lunch for the people who either don't celebrate, have nowhere to go, or whatever other reasons. Mr. Stark has been very generous with the budget for that."

"I'm glad you won't be alone on Christmas," he gives you a gentle smile.

"How about you," you ask. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

"Sam is insisting on taking me to Louisiana," he replies.

"Good," you assert. "I'm very glad you also won't be alone on Christmas."

You really shouldn't have been surprised to see the poinsettia on your desk the next day. There was no note, but you suspected. It wasn't very big and it had started wilting, but you loved it nonetheless. You gently hugged the plant and promised to give it the best of care for as long as it needed. After a week it was like a brand new plant, bright and strong. Doesn't hurt that you asked the biolab techs for help and resources.

It made Bucky's year to see how big your smile was, watching your poinsettia grow and how much you clearly loved it. It took him a while after to gather his courage and ask you on a date but your quick "yes" reassured him. Neither of you would ever be alone on Christmas.

#vee's holly jolly challenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes christmas #percy the puny poinsettia

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